#'what if OPTIMISTIC thing... was CYNICAL instead???'

[gumihoe]

i think men should be banned from creating magical girl series. especially """""dark and subversive"""" magical girl series. just fundamentally i don't think they respect the genre enough to be subverting it or really going anywhere near it

[a-doubleh-x]

Why I like Charlastor

The other day I noticed there was some negativity in the Charlastor tag, including antis and people feeling the need to defend against antis, so I thought I might as well take a step back and just write candidly about why I like the ship.

I only got into Hazbin in October of last year, but already it has inspired me a lot to write and fantazise about it. Like most people, I started with the classic "they look cute together", but as I kept looking I couldn't help but think there was something else to these two than first met the eye.

For starters, I love Pollyanas! I think they get a bad rep for being naive, but I just appreciate an optimist like Charlie who just wants to make people around her happy because it makes her happy. I also like bad boys 😳 I'm a pretty heteronormative guy, so I haven't had a big chance to explore that part of myself yet, but I do like the danger and excitement someone like Alastor brings to the table.

I will admit when I started writing Charlastor I felt like I was handling dynomite. It's a lil scary to ship a boundless altruist with a manipulative sociopath, but bear with me.

I think each of them has something the other needs. I think Charlie needs someone to challenge her, someone to steer her in the right direction while she's mostly isolated. At the start of the series, practically nobody but Vaggie takes her seriously, and Alastor is no exception. He mocks her, teases her, but she still listens and I think it's because somewhere deep down she understands there's something he's trting to communicate in his annoying, but curious way.

Of course, I also love the fanon Charlie who's down bad for Alastor, and even if that Charlie is a little naive, I think it's also sweet and she can use some indulgence while most people treat her like a child.

On the other hand, when it comes to Alastor, this is a bit of a theory on my part, but I think he's secretely lonely. He has friends, certainly, like Rosie and Mimzy, but they're not good enough friends to live together with him. They don't seem to be able to save him from "pure, absolute boredom". But Charlie, for some reason can, even though she's a stranger at the beginning when Alastor chooses to move into the Hotel.

Alastor is not as much of a cynic as someone who chooses to see things in a perspective that benefits him. He doesn't think redeeming sinner is "hopeless", but "hilarious" instead, which has interesting implications to me. That's why he chooses to hover around Charlie, not because he thinks she's lame, rather because he thinks she's silly. She makes him laugh. Which I think is kind of how Alastor sees "love".

And then you have fanon Alastor who, depending on the writer, is either a horny animal, a wisecrack edgelord or a soft boy who's mean to everyone but Charlie XD I like several of those interpretations, but I kinda prefer mine just out of personal taste. I think the best part about Alastor is that he doesn't *care* what anyone thinks of him and always does what he wants, even at the expense of other people, which I find pretty enviable.

They're kinda both outcasts in their own ways. Charlie by being unable to fit in and Alastor being unwilling to compromise. But they don't judge each other. He supports her in his own weird way and she houses him and is delighted of him in general, which is tasty food for his ego. I do wonder why Alastor is interested in Charlie, both in canon and in a fandom vacuum.

There's some cool potential for drama there, but also growth and healing, in my opinion. Personally, I think Alastor doesn't want to actually *hurt* Charlie, but he may hurt those around her, which will be a moment to start settling compromises if Charlie puts her foot down.

That haz bin my review so far! I'm honestly pretty grateful for Vivziepop for all of the work she's done so far, I know directing, animating and writing two shows over the course of 5 year or so ain't easy. I'm also grateful to the fandom who shares their thoughts and vision, which calms the terrible voices I started hearing in my head since I bought this weird old radio.

I'm in the middle of a break, but if you're interested in my fanfics I'll get back to writing very soon. Cheers! 🌈❤🦌

[menlove]

Honestly so confused of Paul's silly love songs. Apparently Paul was sending a message to John and telling him 'i love you' but he also says 'she gave me more she gave me all to me' and then again Linda says 'he gave me more he gave me all to me'. Like, wtf really??? Is he trying to tell John he loves him but Linda gave him more?

well my thing is I Don't think his message to john with "silly love songs" was telling him he loves him honestly! the song Is a message to john, and his other critics, as said by paul himself, but honestly it's a LOT bitchier to john than any of us give him credit for lol

here's what he said about it:

"There were accusations in the mid-1970s – including one from John – that I was just writing ‘silly love songs’. I suppose the idea was that I should be a bit tougher, a bit more worldly. But then I suddenly realised, that’s exactly what love is – it’s worldly. ‘Some people want to fill the world/With silly love songs’. I’d been given that reputation, and I had to stand up for it. Instead of abandoning songs about love, just get on with it, get into it and don’t be embarrassed, because even thought you might say this is a soppy subject, it’s actually the opposite: this thing people can feel for each other that makes life better. I think that’s the crux of it, and if you want to be cynical, it’s easy, you can. ‘Love doesn’t come in a minute/Sometimes it doesn’t come at all’. I think a lot of people who are cynical about love haven’t been lucky enough to feel it."

which 💀 so not only was john the one to call his music "silly love songs" which makes this veeeery directed to him, but paul is uh. also saying he hasn't been "lucky enough" to even feel love 😭

and his ire towards this comment from john can also be seen in his commentary on "I will", funnily enough, which is just one of the reasons I do think that song is about john:

"It’s a declaration of love, yes, but not always to someone specific. Unless it’s to a person out there who’s listening to the song. And they have to be ready for it. It’s almost definitely not going to be a person who’s said, ‘There he goes again, writing another of those silly love songs.’ So, this is me in my troubadour more."

but uuuh yeah essentially My Interpretation is that john mocked his music by calling it "silly love songs" (& paul has mentioned this being a comment from him more than once but since it's not recorded anywhere I'm pretty sure it must've been in a private convo which is 💀) which Especially struck a chord considering paul wrote plenty of love songs For john like "I will" (imo) and paul wrote a very tongue in cheek Overly Soppy Optimistic Song about it.

like he's just saying "so, john, you think all I do is write silly love songs? well first of all my wife loves me more than you ever could have and also love makes everything go round and we all need more love songs, something your bitter and lonely self wouldn't understand 🫶"

I think yk. paul himself has sort of curated this image that john was the main instigator of their shit flinging in the 70s, but the thing is john is NOT a subtle person. he was slagging paul off by name in interviews and writing "how do you sleep?" and not hiding how much he resented him for a bit. paul, on the other hand, is waaaay more vague and sneaky about it lmao. he's even Said him and john wrote way more songs to/about each other in the 70s than they've admitted to. so I think there were a Lot more jabs that he KNEW only john would get were about him. I mean, john knew him better than anyone and they had their own inside language so what better way to get back at him than making him look batshit insane when he would claim some song was about him 😭 and I do genuinely think "silly love songs" is another one of paul's Cunty John Songs

[hughiecampbelle]

In Another Life I Did Everything Right (Roman Roy x Baby!Roy)

Character/s: Roman, Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Logan

Word Count: 1,761

Inspired By: the popsicle I was eating lol

Requested: Can you write something with Roman and baby!roy? Whatever you want to do is fine. I really love your baby!roy writing and I adore Roman - anon

A/N: I took a lot of creative liberty lol, I hope you don't mind! Feedback is always appreciated my loves! 💜💜💜

It’s always the same memory, the same dream, that comes to him when the weather is warm, and humid, and he falls into a fitful sleep. It’s a realization that comes to him each time he sees your face: how young you are. Not the chubby cheeks of childhood, yet you remain untouched by adolescence. Though he knows he was a much younger man at the time, he is all grown up now. He feels his age, how old he must seem to you, how worn. Tired. He stands in the grass, the sun bright and willing to burn. He holds two plastic pouches. He knows what they are. He knows what you’re going to say, how worried you are that they’re beginning to melt: popsicles. They wouldn’t have been allowed in the house at all. They wouldn’t have made their way into the shopping cart, nor found a home in the freezer, had it not been for Connor. All his doing. He used to know the story, but tonight he can’t recall. Did you ask him for them? Were they a surprise? How could they have been hidden so well from the disapproving eyes of your father? It doesn’t really matter, he knows, but so much of this dream has become lost to him. It’s been so many years. He can no longer rely on his memory. This day has been contorted over the years, malleable and pliable, until, as far as he knows, it no longer resembles what truly happened. You’re on the pavement, legs dangling off the edge of the pool. The water is clear and, unfortunately, not as cool as you’d like. You wait, hand outstretched, for your treat. He makes you pick. Left, right, left right, left. Finally, you choose left. He smiles. Not then, but now. How big that decision must’ve felt, how harrowing it was to decide, blindly, the flavor. Older and wiser puts things into perspective. Time is funny that way. He’s grateful you remain untouched by this. Let this be your big decision. He tears yours open: orange. There is no mourning, there is no disappointment, though there is a mutual understand red is the best. He holds his up to the light, the wrapper giving way to a dark inky color. He’s glad you picked what you did: no one really liked grape all that much. 

He wants to talk to you, to ask you questions, to understand where it all went wrong, but he is limited. The dialogue has been chosen for you. This is a reenactment, a loop, a labyrinth of muscle memory he must abide by. He settles beside you, legs crossed, listening to your teeth break through the ice and syrup. He wasn’t a spiritual person. He didn’t believe in God or Heaven or Hell. He didn’t have anyone or thing to turn to when things were hard, when times were tough. Sometimes he wished he was. A different person who could pray and believe and have faith. The cynic in him thought it was bullshit. The optimist, weak and tender, fought back as best as it could. There has to be something, right? There has to be something after all this? Life, mortal life, was so small in comparison to the time before and time after. How could there be nothing? He wants to ask you what you think, if there is God out there and, if so, how vengeful they must be. You were young, yes, but you grew up. There were so many opportunities for him to ask you, your views and opinions, and he didn’t. He wasn’t thinking as he was now. He didn’t have the perspective. Instead your voice slices through his thoughts, a knife to watermelon, it all becomes a sweet, sticky mess in the middle of his cheat. Where’s mom? You don’t have to clarify you mean your mother and not his. Logan’s latest ex-wife. They lasted longer than anyone expected, separating just a few weeks prior, when Spring turned to Summer. He speaks, and though he cannot hear himself, he knows his lines. He wishes now he’d been nicer. Kinder. Instead he is full of teenage angst and decides a snide comment is the best option to ease your growing unease given their recent split. Like all of your mothers, Connors and his and yours, they’ve left their children in the care of your father, though he understand this thought is cheap and really, only Connors mother couldn’t help it. Still, two out of three? 

Did you see her today? You watch him, and wait, and your eyes are big, and there is melted popsicle down the front of your shirt. Yes, he admits, for a moment, but refuses any further details. Mascara ran down her face. She wheeled two large suitcases out of their (now Logans) room and down the hall, towards the stairs. He’s not sure where she was going, or for how long, and he suspected you wondered the same thing. Were the popsicles, similar to the cake Logan had bought Connor, some sort of bargain? A peace offering? Sorry kid, mommy and daddy are splitting. Here’s some sugar! Was this Connor’s way of making things better? He noticed the absence of his older siblings lessening these recent months. He found Shiv helping you with your school work, patiently listening to you ramble on about grade school drama: Leah liked Tommy, but Tommy liked Madison, who wasn’t your friend anymore because she was no longer sitting at your table during lunch, so Tessa was your new best friend. Kendall, with whatever he did to busy himself all day, took his evenings to hang out with you, trying his best to have something in common with a ten year old. Connor, who had never been lacking in your life, became an even more involved presence. Wrapped up with his own affairs, and probably several affairs, Logan had little time for his youngest. So here he was, doing his part, hoping a little attention wouldn’t leave you screwed up like the rest of them. 

He wants to ask you what you think of all this. He should have, at the time, but he was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that, finally, you were earning the Roy name. Your mother was just another wife, you were just another kid he didn’t like or want. You weren’t special, you weren’t going to change him. Uncomfortable because you were a child and children had big emotions. What if you cried? What if you got upset? He didn’t know how to stop it. He didn’t know how to help. You wouldn’t know it at the time (how could you?) but your mother would move on. She’d remarry a few years down the line, and have more children, and leave you behind. Her second husband wasn’t a fan of your father. By association, he wasn’t keen to you either. Roman never asked, even when you got older, how you were dealing with it all. Not just this, but everything. Adolescence. He figured, like the rest of them, you’d move on. Recover. Find your way. You couldn’t. You were in Logan’s custody sure, but it was her you wanted. Holidays, and birthdays, and events, you wanted her. Instead he decides the conversation is over. The in-between is murky. There are popsicles, there is this grimm realization, there is regret, and then what?

He isn’t sure what it is that keeps him reliving this day over the others. There were plenty of times he spent with you, though usually you were drinking, attempting to run away from the family, your bloodline, your future. He saw you so rarely, you were such a different person when he got the chance to really look at you, talk to you. Logan shipped you off to boarding school the school year after your mother leaves. It’s prestigious, and sterile, and ruins any of that person he’s sitting beside. Somewhere between here and then you changed. Not just growing up, though is any other big brother really prepared for their baby to get older? You grew harder, colder, bitter. You drank more. You disappeared often. Your grades suffered, though that kind of information was kept mostly between you and the school. Every so often, Connor would send out a group text saying he was going to visit you. Roman, at least, knew what that meant: you got into trouble and needed someone to clean up a mess you made. Everyone had grown up and adjusted as well as to be expected. They were waiting, impatiently, for you to catch up in maturity. You were a teenager expected to act like an adult, treated like a child. You begged Logan to come home. Your school was far away. It was lonely. It was brutal. But it was the best education anyone could ask for and he believed you were being a brat. 

You wanted to see your mother. It had been years, at that point, since you last saw her. Occasionally you’d receive a cold phone call, but that was all you were allotted. That’s the story, anyways. No one really knows why you went out that night, why it was so urgent, only that you were drinking and you weren’t wearing a seatbelt. They found the car wrapped around a pole. You took your place in the family mausoleum. As far as he knows, your mother doesn’t visit. But they do, all of them. This was years ago, a little over a decade. You’d be all grown up by now. He still sees you as a ten year old. He always will. Maybe he dreams this day, over every other, because it was before everything turned sour. Maybe he just likes the taste of popsicles. Either way, it’s always a treat. He wants to ask you everything he didn’t get the chance to, but he can’t, and soon he will wake up. He’ll wake up in a cold sweat and make a point to visit you sometime soon, taking this as a sign that you’re lonely and looking for company. For now, he looks at you, really looks, and takes you in. You’ve been talking this whole time about what you’ve been learning in school, what Shiv has been helping you with. He will nod. He was bored then, wondering who would take over babysitting duty, but he isn’t now. He soaks up every word. He misses your voice, your mannerisms. So much has changed since this day. So little has changed, too.

[landwriter]

You've Got Mail AU, lay it on me

Brand new scene for you, TJ! (Prev You've Got Mail nonsense.)

If my WIPs were unionized, this one would've been loooong done. But they're not, unfortunately for them, and after like four days after talking about You've Got Mail-verse, I got talking about the Tam Lin AU, and we all know how that went.

The other snippets were silly, this one is a little sad:

It feels like another ending. Hob is sick of them. Morpheus’ face is perfectly expressionless. He can’t take it. Won’t. Wants to greedily keep this for just a little bit longer. He always does. Even when everybody else around him knows it’s over, there he is, holding on past decency and reason.

Morpheus is absurdly beautiful in the morning light.

Hob says what he’s been thinking for weeks now. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you came into my shop, and you hadn’t been Endless Books, and I hadn’t been The New Bookshop-”

“Then it wouldn’t have been your shop,” interrupts Morpheus.

“No,” he says. “I guess it wouldn’t be.”

Isn’t, now. In any case.

Morpheus catches the look on his face and takes pity on him. He’s kinder, Hob thinks, than anyone gives him credit for. Including himself. “A cafe, instead,” he offers.

“Or Shakespeare in the Park,” says Hob. He can picture it now.

Morpheus’ lip twitches up the way it does when he’s trying not to smile. “Yes. If we met at Shakespeare in the Park?”

“I would’ve offered you a spot on my blanket. And I would have hoped it would get cold or rain, so you would lean on me.”

Morpheus ducks his head, and Hob wants to seize his face, wants to thumb over those perfect cheekbones. Fist his hands in his shirt and not let go ever. “You would have forgotten your umbrella, of course,” says Morpheus, quietly.

“Of course. And the sky would have opened up until we had to hide under a tree.”

Morpheus looks up. “And then?”

“And then I would have found the courage to ask a beautiful stranger for his number, and I would have asked you out that very night. And if you’d said yes I’d have done it again and again. Every day, actually, for as long as we lived.”

“Hob,” says Morpheus. His eyes are bright.

“If we never came up against each other. If the only thing you ever took from me was the blankets at night.”

“We’d need to have two sets.”

Hob swallows hard. “Yeah. Yeah, we would.”

The sounds of the city lap up against them, but Hob feels like an island alone with Morpheus, standing together on his stoop. He hears the jingle of someone walking their dog past. A siren in the distance. And all he sees is Morpheus, the square of his shoulders, his jaw clenched.

“Morpheus-” he starts.

“Hob, how could you forgive him?” he asks roughly. “How on earth could you forgive this stranger for standing you up?”

“We all make mistakes.” Easily. I forgave him just as easily as I’d have forgiven you, if you had only let me.

Morpheus stares at him. “Yes. We do.” His mouth twists a little. “Some more than most, I would say.”

“Maybe. But people are almost always better than you’d think. Mistakes and all.”

“Ever the optimist.”

Hob presses his lips together in a smile. “Ever the cynic.”

“Go, Hob,” says Morpheus. “You’ll be late.”

He goes. It’s a beautiful day to meet his stranger. How can it feel like his heart is breaking, only now, only after everything, on the threshold of happiness?

[ice-sculptures]

hmm. this might just be me being overly sensitive as usual but i think that regardless of how likely (or unlikely, in other cases) it is for a ship to be canon, delusional is kind of a mean thing to say about queer fans of a show hoping that a gay ship might become canon. fans of heterosexual ships never get that energy no matter how insignificant or unlikely their ship is, so why is it considered okay to say to people just because the pairing they're rooting for is queer?

and like. i feel like since because it's never actually been done before, some people (often victims of older queerbait ships like destiel or klance) have this superiority complex over ‘knowing’ that whatever newer queer ship will "never be canon." they revel in the bitter idea that since it didn't happen to them in the past, it could never happen to us in the future, but they're missing the entire point — that yes, it's never been done before, so something has to be first, right? someone has to, and one day, someone will take that first revolutionary step for queer media representation eventually, so why is it considered so outlandish for fans of ships that haven't happened yet to wish that they'll be the lucky ones and that it will one day happen for them?

do you know what i think? i think that delusional is a great word to throw in people's faces and a really quick, easy way to make them feel like shit for simply having hope that the world is changing and getting better. and that's why it feels especially cruel to me when this disdain comes from fans of ships like destiel, because you know that they were once in the same exact place of wishing and hoping, but instead of acknowledging that the world has changed significantly and recognizing that queer rep in media needs to change along with it, they're still stuck in the era where gay people were the butt of the joke and will now take every single writing decision in bad faith, often twisting and misinterpreting the narrative completely because of it.

anyway, idk, maybe it's just me, but i'd rather be the eternal optimist living in a world knowing that the first slowburn queer ship in a piece of popular media not specifically marketed as queer will happen one day than be the cynical pessimist content to never expect anything great to ever come along and who constantly tries to dash the hopes of anyone who dares to dream that things can change, making not only themselves but every single person around them downright miserable in the process.

[bam-stroker]

The Heart of a Dragon's Hoard

Fuck it, have a slice of my dragon/royalty romance story Royal Rogue.

This character study is about my lovely dragon Asrir musing about his hoard/friendship. (also for those who read my bug fairy romance, The Courting Web, Spark got his gender transed by Dewy - who also gets mentioned in this snippet)

If there is one thing most people assume about Asrir, it is that he is a romantic with his heart on his sleeve. It isn’t an incorrect assumption, but it also isn’t entirely the whole picture. Asrir has, and always will be, a hopeless romantic, dreaming of soft sighs and adoring words. One must have some sense of dreamy hope to have a hoard such as his; collecting the first drafts and failures of artists, to treasure and remember.

To a cynic, they’d pin him as optimistically naive to find anything salvageable from the often messy application of his many collected manuscripts. Or, at the worst, they’d call in to question his ethics. Why collect such things, if not to laugh at the expense of those who failed?

Sometimes he isn’t quite sure himself anymore. What the truth of it all is.

When he runs his claws over the cracked spines of books stored along the endlessly upwards climbing shelves carved into the yawning chasm of his home, each point of contact sings to him with a song of connection. To be heard. To be seen. To find some meaning in this world, and for the fellow bleeding hearts to find one another. To feel less alone.

Loneliness, is something Asrir understands all too well.

At a young age, he’d learned quickly through the sneers and quips of his peers that a tender heart is best used to the advantage of others. It’s the kind of easy joke to get a harmless laugh out of, often at his own expense. Or at the worst, easy prey to take from until there’s nothing left to give.

In a world of fierce dragons, someone like Asrir is an anomaly. Soft, tender, and romantic, is not the stuff of legends that dragons are built from. While the others felt power in their sharp teeth and swift talons, Asrir found himself holed away dreaming of fairytale’s and true love. While the other dragons built their skills to collect their mighty hoards, he created stories in his mind and hid from his ancestry.

The act of creation, is not what dragons are skilled in. To give, is not what they are meant to do. Dragons, are meant to take.

With time, he came to despise the very sight of his mighty claws, teeth, and wings.

As the seasons changed, so too did his appearance—growing into all the sharp edges a dragon should be proud of. He grew into his body with the disdain of a gnarly root waiting to be ripped from a garden bed. But what was to be done about it? It simply was what it was, and Asrir was a dragon. He could not change that truth.

When he finally came of age to pursue the romance he’d dreamed of, there was none to be found. Instead he soon found a tender heart is an open door for a sly thief.

What he had thought were kind smiles, quickly turned sharp and hungry. The brilliant eyes of a new love meant only for him, never held true devotion, instead they searched to see what he might give. And he gave. What ever they asked, he would gladly serve his heart up on a silver platter. And once they had their fill, time and time again, through the processional march of seasons, his lovers would dissipate into the far off mists of time, to only be memories.

Asrir found no lack of bodies in his bed, but the gaping wound of his heart bled and bled until he feared the river of his love would run dry.

There comes a point when an open book must be shut. If every page is torn from it, is there any story to still tell? And so, Asrir hid himself away to live in his dreams, rather then risk the chance for the fragile remains of himself to be scavenged. Safe in the seclusion of his mountains. Safe from the expectations of being a mighty dragon.

For a brief time, he thought solitude was true freedom.

The dream he had held on to all his life, to share a home with someone he loved, instead became a hideaway. Safe behind the mighty stone walls of the mountains, the roots of his dreams crept out into the nearby forest, like twinkling stars, as his magic weaved itself into the home he’d found. Like stubborn roots cracking through cobblestone, Asrir’s magic longed for more.

It was through those magical roots, that he’d met the person who changed his life. Knocking on the massive doors littered with signs to stay away, a bold pixie stormed into his life complaining of magical ley lines creeping into his yard—like a curmudgeonly gardener.

With a double set of transparent dragonfly wings, a black hue to them like the night sky with veins that shimmered like the stars above captured in his wings—stood Dewy Dewdrop. His skin was a cool dark brown, with a feint shimmer of verdant green and blue in the afternoon light. Dewy struck Asrir from his stooper like an icy winter night with an endless clear sky of stars.

Standing at a proud four foot high, with sharp green eyes, sharp teeth, and an even sharper personality. In every sense, the other man should have fit the bill to match everyone who had ever hurt Asrir in the past, and yet… there was an uncanny sense of honesty to him. There was no hiding behind a sweet smile to ease the rough edges, Dewy was who he was, other’s be damned. He would not bend for a single soul to stop being his authentic ornery self. But he also would not demand others to hide their truth, in turn.

The world of the faeries is not too dissimilar to that of the dragons. Friendly faces are just as quick to flip, once a fairy has what they want. But there was no trick to Dewy, at least not at Asrir’s expense. The man came to his door and simply requested for the dragon to help prune the stubborn magical roots creeping into his home from Asrir’s forlorn longing.

To repress oneself to the level Asrir had, that kind of unconscious magic can be a beastly thing to wrangle alone. And so, their time together stretched the span of weeks, which then became months. Not once did Dewy demand for the dragon to give him something in return. It was a job to be done. “Fix the messes you make. If we all spent our time ignoring that shit, then the world is just gonna be one big pile of garbage!” Dewy had barked at him, while pointing the end of a gardening spade his way.

The situation was so strange, it had been the first real laugh Asrir had given in ages. Dewy only waved him off with a flare of grumbles, but in the end, a small smile found its way to the edge of the pixie’s lips as well.

Such a strange man. And yet, Asrir began to look foreward to their time together.

As the two of them worked side by side over the months, dredging up the deep roots of Asrir’s unconscious dreaming, a comfortable sense of companionship bloomed. All the while, Asrir listened to the daily complaints and stories Dewy had to tell, but he never offered to share his true self with this strange pixie. He simply nodded and listened.

As they worked, Asrir came to learn quite a bit about Dewy. The gruff veneer Dewy maintained, was concealing his own kind of vulnerability. Magic amongst the fey, is weaved in their words. It’s all about the turn of phrase that holds power. Often, that power is used to lead the nonmagical into precarious situations, for the fey to inflict their magic upon. Those are the rules of it, after all.

Dewy had dedicated his life to becoming the greatest magic practitioner of his kind.

Dewy was good at what he did. The best. The most magically skilled pixie anyone had ever known. At least… that’s what he proudly boasted to Asrir quite regularly.

The thing is, fey were boring. They liked to cause mischief and illusions to trick the mind. But that’s all it ever was—a short trick. Dewy wanted to create! He wanted to mold and make magic into something that lasted forever. So he gave up on the cheap tricks early on.

But even through the bravado, Asrir could see a fellow bleeding heart.

“I don’t spend much time with other pixies. They say I’m boring,” Dewy scoffed while stabbing his spade deep into lush green earth, “Fine by me. I don’t like most of them anyway. Flighty bastards. They’re all too busy giggling with their creepy bright eyes, little freaks… Always trying to find the next joke to pull.”

He digs his hands into the dirt to take hold of a magical root. “What I make is real. I’m about the real things, Asrir.” And with a harsh tug, the very real root of Asrir’s lonely dreaming was wrenched free.

Friend of the fey. That’s what the people who came to Dewy were called.

Like gravity, Dewy’s magic pulled the lost souls that would run away to the fairy forest to him. The kind of people who were looking to leave their old lives behind. To run from the lives expected of them. To run from the expectations they could never meet—to be the good daughters, sons, wives, or husbands they were born to be.

Birth is hardly the vessel for truth. In the face of magic, why should the man born a woman not be able to be reborn? Dewy could mold the truth to become real.

And that’s what he did. He made deals with the nonmagical, to make their truth real. To finally let them feel at home in their bodies. For men to become women, and women to become men, and every other variation under the sun to come true. Fairy magic is built on deals, but who’s to say the deal can’t benefit them both? Dewy got to practice his magic, and they’d get a shot at a new look.

Of course a deal is a deal and fey has its rules, he couldn’t just give away freely. So he asked for the promise of a first born, when clearly the person wasn’t planning on having them. For names, when they never wanted the name they were given in the first place. And even pronouns, after Dewy was done—people wouldn’t even be able to think of the old ones around them anymore!

He played his game and flexed his skills, with no repercussions, in proper fairy workarounds.

Truly, a fascinating man.

“I do it for the practice. That’s all.” Dewy had huffed, as they sat side by side in what seemed far more like two friends enjoying an afternoon in the countryside, then a job needing to be done. There wasn’t a single root left in sight to upend.

Though his gruff walls stayed up, the way his eyes lit up with pride describing magical grounding lines of olive branches along chests, shimmers of stretch marks like gold, rosy cheeks and hair of the most verdant greens, and the moment when someone would See themself for the first time, well, Asrir would hardly call any of it cold.

There was more then just pride from Dewy, when people reacted to who they wanted to be became real. He would never admit it, but Asrir saw the kindness and care behind it. Lives were changed, all because of his magic. What a great gift that is to give.

“Well… I suppose that’s the last of them.” Asrir had murmured as he looked over the rolling fields of wildflowers, no sign that there was ever a disturbance caused by his magic. “I apologize once again for ruining your landscaping. I’ll be sure to keep my magic in check, so that it doesn’t disturb you again.” The unspoken admittance of, So that I don’t disturb you gain. And yet, he lingered. For the first time in a long time, Asrir wanted to open himself up. To trust again. But, he could never outright impose that on to Dewy.

Scratching the stubble along his cheek, Dewy squinted at him like a stray gray cloud on a sunny day. “You know… I’ve been having trouble with my garden lately. Can’t get the strawberries to grow right. Think you might wanna take a look at ‘em for me?”

The walls Asrir had put up to save his heart tumbled like dandelions in the breeze.

With a broad reptilian smile, Asrir bowed his head with joyful relief. “I would love nothing more… Friend.” And the two have been friends ever since. Even if Dewy pretended to grumble at the word from time to time.

So was Asrir truly an open book? Only for the right ones. With an entire life left to live, Asrir had learned the art of patience and that listening can be keen and sharp, in its own way. That self-induced loneliness was not the answer, but to instead keep guard. To stay watchful.

But most of all, he had learned that it is worth trying.

Life is full of risks. If one hides away, to only dream of it… can it actually be a life well lived?

The cynics can say what they will, but Asrir truly treasured the failures and flops of his hoard. Because in his own life, he certainly has his own fair share. So why should trying not be honored? Why should it not be regarded with celebration?

To try, is a very brave thing.

[leviadraws]

hey loz! i was bouncing au ideas around in my head and got a little too invested, so now i'm here to askwhat do you think would have to change in order for there to be a viable roleswap between dra yuki and utsuro?like, with yuki as the mastermind and utsuro as the one around for the killing game. what do you think that universe would be like?

anyway hope you're having a great day LOL

Oh my this is such a cool idea! I'd love to hear more about it /gen

Under cut, since I waffled a load /lh

I will preface that I struggle to characterise Utsuro a fair bit compared to Yuki, just because we see so little of him, I took so long to answer this just because I had to go watch chapters 0, 6, and IF just for the refresher.

For the sake of argument, in this role swap Utsuro isn't aware of his own luck, like how Yuki isn't.

Which meant watching the footage didn't actually help all that much, since a lot of his apathy and confidence (arrongance? on how things will pan out) stem from his talent and the results of his talent.

Anyway

I think, who he does and doesn't get on with changes a lot. I don't think his kinda pessimistic realism would allow him to get on much with the more optimistic cast members (like the sunshine quartet, Akane, Kanata, Kakeru, Ayame, etc). I could see Akane trying to reach out in some subconscious way (something in the back of my head tells me I know this person kinda way) but I think the way he deflects and doesn't share the same "we got this! You just gotta not lose hope" would push her away.

I also think he'd have a lot of up and downs with Tsurugi and Rei. They'd probably get on with some things, like the idea that people often don't have good intentions and all and don't trust and all. But, I can't see Utsuro joining the large group in chapter 2 and chooses to go his own way like how Kizuna, Rei and Kinji did.

I think he gets along with Kinji the most, Kinji isn't loud and talks when it's needed, he isn't argumentative in the same way Rei is either. I think Utsuro would annoy early game Rei a lot, since he wouldn't rise to her quite outlandish points of view and just ignore her a lot.

I think there's a possibility that he'd get on with Mikako, kinda in the same way as the main game. But with the swap they kinda have different views on hope and getting everyone out so I'm not entirely sure how that'd pan out.

He takes a bit of a back seat in trials, he's cynical and so calls people out on very obvious lies and cover ups, but since he doesn't stick with the group all that much he often doesn't have an alibi outside of luck coming into play, so he ends up getting the blame pinned on him a lot. He doesn't really feel "Oh X could never do that", so he's ready to press threads regardless of the person on the other end.

I don't think the early deaths actually change all that much, in canon Yuki isn't actually all that involved in the cases all the way up to like, case 5? And even then he's not involved, more like well, blamed in a last ditch effort.

Case 3 would change a tad, since if Utsuro isn't all that close with the main group he'd probably not be around for Akane's episode and therefore not have an alibi. Kinji probably tries to subdue him like how he does Rei and Tsurugi but divine luck kinda intervenes in some really silly way and so instead Kinji tries to pin the blame on him as the only one not "attacked".

That makes the trial hard, he's been betrayed again, they weren't quite friends but to have one of the people that didn't berate him completely turn on him hurts.

I, also think eventually they soften up to him sometime after chapter 3. After being blamed and scapegoated so much in trials, the others start to see that maybe they were mean in their initial impressions. I'm unsure how much he'd soften up? Perhaps he becomes more patient in time, but getting the blame pinned on him and having the others admonish his more pessimistic nature when they're getting no where searching the facility gets on his nerves.

You know that bit where he slips talking to Mikako? (can't remember if it's chapter 3/4/5), it's a little more creepy. A smile comes through and a manic look that really spooks her.

In chapter 4 he's forced to dance with whoever you'd like haha

I can't see him spending all his energy looking for a way out of the ballroom, I think he takes a look around and then retires to his room to save his energy. Akane notices and brings meals to his room.

When the hunger starts to kick in he seems to slip a little more often, people catch him just smiling to himself and it catches them off guard, but then they look back again and it's gone so they think their minds are just playing tricks from the hunger.

I've been trying to think if he'd be there for Tsurugi's freakout. I think luck would probably mean he ends up in the right place at the right time to intervene.

Chapter 5 is weird, would Tsurugi die if they were never close? Would he still subconsciously save him with luck? I honestly don't know. I'm gonna go with the latter for simplicity but I think the former is an interesting path to go down.

So chapter 6, and if he found Akane occasionally annoying before she's unbearable right now. Seeing her gives him a migraine that he can't shake and he makes him harsh, curt and a little rude. Tsurugi approaches about how different he remembers Utsuro, how they used to be really good friends, and how he was well liked by pretty much the whole class. It puzzles him, they're really acquaintances at best and he really can't see him being the life of the party in class.

When Tsurugi won't drop it he just nods and assumes it must be his injury affecting his memory.

The final trial comes up, and the headaches are getting worse and worse. It goes black for a moment and he sees someone who looks just like him, just a little more neatly kept, eyes brighter than his, and a soft smile on his face. But there's something a little off putting about it all as he points to the red door infront.

He opens his eyes, smiles a little too wide, and laughs.

[chaifootsteps]

listening to PDJ's songs makes me sad for what the shows could have been

like stuff like Sure to Drown which is a very musical theatre-ish rock song where Husk and Charlie do a call and response with one another and the contrast between their voices forms part of the storytelling (grizzled and cynical versus sweet and optimistic). the little story bits he gives around each song grounds what the number is there for and the characters progress by the end of most of them - Husk doubles down on his nihilism in Sure to Drown, Stolas recognizes that maybe he's the problem in Look My Way (the original), Use Me Up is the perfect blend of Angel's toughness and vulnerability while he's trying to enjoy a night off, etc etc.

it could have been so easy to just start the show with an episodic format and songs introducing each character, what the thing is they need to work on to get to redemption and their dynamic with Charlie

THEN once that's established, get to the dramatic stuff and whatever the twist with Heaven and the plan failing is

instead we get an exposition dump in the first few minutes and Charlie immediately pitching her idea to Adam during a musical number where Vaggie straight up disappears from existence between frames

it's so aggravating how overstuffed all of Viv's shows are when just paring it down a little could have really helped the story shine and even the musical numbers are suffering for it now. It's frustrating too because house of asmodeus - the show's best number imo - understood this exactly.

it called out both Blitzo and Stolas, it advanced the plot and character dynamics with Stolas hiding behind the menu, and it opened and closed with M&M as a perfect contrast to what a car wreck Stol/tz is, as well as having Fizz, Verosika and Ozzie giving fun performances and deservedly ripping on the main characters. it had everything a musical number should!

but it looks like neither HH or HB will be that good again and just talking about both shows as works of art independent of all the allegations and drama surrounding Viv, I think that's a genuine shame

it got within touching distance of being great then flushed all of it down the drain

And some might say a taste of greatness is worth than none at all, but only if you're the one responsible for it. Viv, who leaned so heavily on more talented people and then threw them all away, doesn't get to have that satisfaction.

[istadris]

Okay but even if Luigi got sidelined (and from some of the concept art, it shouldn’t have happened), I’m still so, so grateful for what we had with his character.

They could have focused the movie entirely on Mario (with maybe a joke or a wink at how he’s alone despite being the Super Mario Bros movie).

They could have made Luigi the joke the cynical side of the fandom makes him : a useless, jealous or stupid sidekick who’s only here to make Mario shine.

They could have made the brothers dislike each other as a running gag, or just for cheap drama (granted, I thought at first they would go with a similar road : have the bros’ bond tested until they realize how important they are for each other).

Heck, they could have stuck with the sidelined Luigi idea until the very end; when I first watched the movie, I groaned a bit when Luigi jumped in the dumpster and fully expected the gag to be “Luigi goes from being locked in a cage to a stinky trash bin haha”, and for him to only come out once Mario would have beaten Bowser and join the crowd in the applause.

And instead Luigi was as much a core element of the movie as Mario!

The movie went out of its way to establish how much the brothers meant to each other, how strong their relationship was, how important it was for Mario to save his brother.

Luigi was the goal of Mario’s quest, the movie was about rescuing him, and they made sure to make it matter, by making Luigi a character as lovable as Mario.

They even gave them a whole family, and yet show that even within this big family, Mario and Luigi’s bond is its own familial unit.

They showed how this devotion went both ways, with Mario ready to go through any challenge for Luigi, and Luigi casting away his fears and jumping in the fire as soon as Mario was in danger.

They had Luigi being Mario’s weakness (being told he could bring him down being the only thing to actually hurt him) AND his strength (the image of them standing together, optimistic and proud, being what makes him get back up in his darkest hour).

They made Mario fail a lot on his own, scrapping by and getting lucky, too stubborn to give up; but it was only once he was reunited with Luigi, once they both stood side by side, that they became true heroes.

Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.

Because nothing can hurt more than being separated.

[ask-patton]

Dad, the world is moving fast and getting scary and I'm starting to lose hope. Even the things I usually use to cope feel like they're steeped in bad news, and I can't escape. What do you do when you start to freak out? I'd ask Virgil but I don't want to make *him* more worried too...

Hey kiddo, I'm glad you asked me.

Virgil can have lots of cynical things to say about the state of the world, and even about our daily life, but I know he says those things to cover for the fact that he's worried.

It's true that lots of big and scary things are happening right now, and I can't just tell you or him to "be optimistic!", because that isn't very helpful at all. So, I have some advice for you! Here's some things I do when I'm having a hard time keeping my hopes up:

First, I look at the things around me and count my blessings. I ask myself questions like, "What am I most grateful for?" This helps ground me by reminding myself of the happy things in my life. It narrows my focus down to the scale of things around me.

Second, I find an activity that can help clear my mind. Things like crossword puzzles occupy my whole train of thought, so I can redirect all of my attention to that instead. This helps calm me down and take a step back, so that I can look at an issue again with a clear head when I'm ready.

And finally, I think about the things I can control. Even though world events seem so far out of my league, what can I do to make the world a better place with the position that I'm in? And on an even smaller scale, how can I change my daily routines to help reduce my stress?

Taking care of your mind is very important when everything around you is so stressful. I hope you find these tactics useful for you, and maybe even bring a little joy back into your favorite activities!

With love (and extra dad hugs!),

Patton 💙

[kafus]

okay well i guess i didn’t need my alarms cause i can’t seem to sleep more lmao. it’s 5 am

soooo pokemon presents in a little less than 4 hrs huh? realistically i’m expecting something either johto or unova related and since they’re apparently lighting up NYC today, which is not usual for pokemon day, i’m kind of leaning unova. i have mixed feelings about this since as much as i actually did enjoy my time with BDSP, i was dually disappointed by them and i’m still sad that sinnoh isn’t going to get the HGSS or ORAS treatment ever - if unova remakes were to be of a similar caliber of bdsp, i’d rather them just not exist at all frankly. nostalgia bias and my immense love for sinnoh aside, i think the unova games, especially bw2, are some of the best games in the entire franchise, and if they are remade, or get bw3 sequels, or whatever, i want them to be GOOD. lets not spit on the legacy of gen 5 now!! but. i remain cautiously optimistic. i’m not a super cynical pokemon fan and like i said i did enjoy bdsp despite everything. also a legends kyurem or whatever would be awesome btw i wanna see the og dragon lol. johto would also be cool but i’m having a lot less thoughts on it for some reason. i’m sure if they announce anything johto ayano will have incredibly passionate thoughts about it

now i’m not really one for predictions, the above talk is maybe the most obvious outcome since they usually do remakes mid-gen. instead i’ll just talk about some things i would WANT even if they’re a pipe dream and i don’t necessarily expect them:

a new PMD. not an explorers remake, a new PMD with a fresh story and everything. we haven’t had a proper new PMD story since 2015 and i MISS IT. i’d also enjoy explorers remakes but frankly i want a new game the most and i wanna play as sprigatito SOBS THE PALDEA STARTERS WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR PMD

gen 3 on NSO with full online capabilities and also connectivity to NSO ports of colosseum and gale of darkness. i 100% do not think this is happening but it would blow me away if it did. the amount of gen 3 that so many people were never able to experience as children, especially me… could finally be done online!!! it’d be cool if they removed all the dumb trading restrictions too but unlikely. (as an aside if they released gen 1/2 VC again with stadium compatibility that’d be epic but i somehow expect that even less)

some sort of new stadium-type game with home compatibility that provides single player trials similar to that of the old gen battle frontiers. i just REALLY really miss old singleplayer battle challenges. i want a new one to spend a bazillion years on making wacky teams and winning w them. i enjoy VGC but sometimes that singleplayer experience hits different

i really am a spinoff enjoyer. surprise me with something new! that isn’t a mobile game with gacha elements! just a whole new standalone pokemon idea. no idea what genre just excite me

MAKE A COMFY FRIENDS SPRIGATITO PLUSH OR SO HELP ME GOD (this is barely related to the presents im just thinking about it i want one soo bad 😭)

and those r all my thoughts i think. these presentations r always a treat because i wake up early and watch them with my friends. i probably won’t be liveposting it on tumblr bc i will be lost in the sauce of discord w the besties. i’ll provide my thoughts later though!

[gollygeedash]

19 14 12 Mason!

I was going to try and do nicer drawings for these, but Art Fight is so close MS PAINT IT IS! (heehee) 19. Has your OC ever had an experience with the paranormal or the divine? What happened? Was it a one time encounter or is it a normal part of their life? Did they find it terrifying or thrilling?

In canon, no. Mason was born and raised on a planet full of various kinds of aliens so I don't... think weird stuff phases him too much. I guess the weirdest thing he'd interacted with is his cat that sometimes Bethesda-glitch through the wall and can make her head do weird things when she sneezes.

IN AU THOUGH.... It's very very funny to me to put Mason against paranormal things because he's either "WHAT" about it or he's trying so so so hard to pretend it doesn't exist and everything's normal. In the Gollyville RP my friends and I do he gets to be exposed to a few weird things, like for instance a girl he took in to stay with him can just turn into a raccoon. His first instinct was "get the broom". And then there's also two of his friends that got fused into one person, Leanne, and he had A TIME trying to cope with that at the beginning. Hey, two of your friends might be gone forever and you have this abomination instead? Have fun with that Mason. (He did later on)

And then of course my friends and I play Phasmophobia and one of the models looks... VERY MASON ADJACENT so we like to joke that he's now on a ghost-hunting squad with two kids.

There was also a one-off RP session where we dropped Mason in a haunted dead mall (along with some other characters) and they all had to escape! Unfortunately he didn't get to see too much weird stuff because he was too focused on trying to find Alynne. Though there were moving mannequins.... He did get to see that.

Sometime in the near future another friend of mine has another horror-RP planned for him and a few other friends OCs, so I'm very excited for that :]c

14. How important is friendship to your OC? Do they prefer to have one or two close friends or a large group of casual friends? Or do they prefer their own company over that of others?

Mason would like to say he doesn't need friends/friendship but WITHOUT FAIL, every time, he's going to find out he does (get appreciated, idiot) He's not a very social person, so the idea of having a larger group of casual friends feels like a death trap of making small talk the whole time. He much prefers the company of one or two closer friends. In college he stuck to only hanging out with Rex, maybe another person he fell out of contact with. When the story takes place and when he's done saying saying "woe is me, I'm unlovable" he's going to find it harder to keep people away from hanging out with him. Be it Rex, Eda, Miranda and Deven, Maddison, and even others later on :]c

He is very introverted though, so he's going to have his moments of needing to step back and have a day to himself. "Nap on the couch with the tv on" kinda day.

12. Is your OC cynical or optimistic? Who or what shaped their outlook on life?

Who, Mason? Optimistic? PFFT. He'd need a whole life changing event for that to happen. Ahaha, haha. Hah. (He'll get what's coming for him.)

As for what caused the cynicism.....

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

AAAHHHH can you write some headcannons for the papas helping a depressed partner??

Happy to write this but always like to say a few things when it comes to this particular subject.

You're never alone and there is no shame in asking or seeking help. You don't have to suffer alone, and there is love and support for you during these hard times.

I hope these head canons can bring comfort to anyone who is just having a tough time mentally, right now.

Trigger Warnings for talks of Mental health, depression, depressive symptoms, and talks of doctors/medication.

Further Disclaimer: Every individual with depression has different symptoms and experiences. We all have our own needs and ways support helps us. This will not cover every experience, but I hope it covers a good general range. Thanks!

Papas Supporting Their S/O With Depression

Papa Nihil: Despite not having the best medical knowledge, Nihil knows depression and how it has affected many of his friends in life. Seeing you, his partner, be affected by it makes him sit down and actually learn all he can. Yes, he was always the supportive friend and mentor in his time as Papa. You couldn't be Papa without helping those in need. But it's different now that it's someone so important to him. Nihil makes it a point to sit down with you when you have the energy. The fancy medical text books and blogs can only tell you so much. Nihil knows only YOU know how you feel. That's the root of his faith after all, trusting your own mind and sense. So that's where he truly wants to start and support you! He asks how do YOU feel and what YOU are personally going through. Truthfully, it was nice for someone to ask and not just ASSUME you are having all typical depression symptoms.

You're also a bit flattered that Nihil is protective of you during initially working to feel better. He'd eat his own saxophone before jumping to conclusions that you were going to hurt yourself, or that 'he knew what was better for you.' Nihil trusts you and whatever path you want to take. Just know if it's seeking professional help you'll get the best, and if you felt like your doctor was dismissing you well... the doctor is going to have to deal with a lot of ghouls in their work place. Other than that, he will be by your side as long as you need him. He isn't a doctor, but he loves you with all of his being. So he will be there to carry you when you can't stand.

Papa I: His support is often very gentle yet firm, and goes at your pace. Papa will never force you to 'just get over it' or 'try to be better'. Actually, he often hates blind optimistic or overly cynical approaches to mental health. Neither are helpful, and he'd refuse to subject you to them. Papa is more prepared to ask you what you'd need, and WHEN you'd need it. Maybe one day you need his help entirely, and other days you don't want him messing with your progress! Either way, he's an unwavering presence. As a magic and faith user who supports medical advice, Papa would help shape some aspects of your daily routine to alleviate some of your symptoms. Anything that just makes getting through the day with less stress and hassle. It's slow but steady, but it makes life so much easier!

You find you like him not verbally reminding you to keep with your meds. Instead he incorporates them wordlessly with breakfast or lunch. Instead of energy drinks, he offers hand blended teas he uses from his own garden (He loves a good holistic approach when appropriate in his own aging body.) They are a good way to get a bit of energy and calm down. Papa encourages you to join him for some daily tasks- whether that's a small errand you can run together or a small activity. He worries about a lack of stimuli for you and tries to keep you out of bed as much as possible. But he will never force you. Instead he uses his deep and comforting voice to ask you join him just once. Most importantly? When you have no energy, he let's you rest. Let's you sleep it off because that's your body telling you what you need.

Papa II: I've often said that Papa II always has a tough time with issues he can't fix by punching them in the face. And trust me, if he could punch your depression he absolutely would. Papa keeps to himself how much he HATES watching you struggle. Because sulking about it on his end isn't helpful and he'd never put that burden on you. Instead, Papa tries to do his best to support you where he is needed and wanted. If you looked closely at your daily life, he does subtle things to make your life easier. Encourage you to get up with him in the guise of needing company, cooking to see if you'd eat because he took time to make it, or even just making small comments of 'Oh, I need my vitamin. Do you want me to grab your antidepressant?'

For big things, he goes where he is needed. Papa would be loathed to make you ever feel like you didn't have autonomy even on your low days. So you have discussions about it often. Papa and you have decided that, outside of emotional support, he would get more staff to help with daily tasks. And you appreciate it on days you just can't do anything. What you even cherish more is him always reassuring you that having help DOES NOT make you a burden or useless. Everyone needs a little extra help. And if that means hiring a ghoul or sibling to do some laundry or make food, then by Lucifer, he's going to hire the entire convent! And he'd be BLESSED before he let you feel like it wasn't ok to need support! Papa is always a strong rock for you.

Papa III: Papa has never told anyone about his own struggles with mental health. He's had some pretty bad lows in his life. So he knows exactly what you are going through, and he fucking hates seeing you like this. If it was up to him he'd take it all away and keep you safe. But life is not the fairy tale he'd like it to be. So Papa resolves to do what he always wished someone would do for him; be there to support you unconditionally. Papa offers this in MANY ways. But the most important one he wants to convey to you (should you be open to it) is just making sure you know you are NEVER alone. That, and letting you know you are such a precious person to him and you are NOT broken. Because truthfully, that's all he ever wanted for his own battles.

Papa does everything he can for you, whenever you want. His best expertise is letting you talk it out. Getting out all of your numbness, your fears, and even some of the events that triggered your depression. Other times, he tries to keep you occupied- even if it doesn't necessarily bring you joy. Just something to keep your mind off of how awful you feel AND knowing you have a safe person to do it with. Sometimes these are walks, sometimes these are cheesy horror movies, and even more they are just small activities to do together. Anhedonia was the worst for him, and Papa believes finding some sprinkle of joy in life is a good start to hanging on. For him back in the day it was finding he likes writing. So he's happy to help you discover what brings that spark back for you.

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: Copia is a well known pillar of strength in his flock, even before ascending to Papacy. But it's distressing to him to learn that you, his beloved, has this problem. If it wasn't for the fact he has done this so much he wouldn't feel qualified to help you. But Copia REFUSES to throw a pity party for himself, especially when it's YOU who needs the help! So he's going to be there for you as the best partner he can be! Starting with encouraging you to seek professional help. Copia will always be there as a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on, but he knows his limits. One day when you mention you were considering medical intervention, he sat with you and encouraged you gently. Copia explains all the benefits to you and offers to go with you to your appointment. Even sheepishly he has had to do the same before. He won't be ashamed to admit he's had his own battles with anxiety.

Copia does what he can to assist you when needed. Sometimes he brings you to his office on less busy days so you can have some work. It takes your mind off of matters without being overwhelming. Copia makes all the time for you he can so you don't have to be alone. (or if you want space he gives you all of it you need between checking on you once in a while.) Copia is very big on sticking to professional recommendations, as the routine helped him control his anxiety a bit more. He offers his advice (when asked) and is happy to do tasks with you. With his Papa connections too he gets the best therapist when you ask, and will refuse to stop looking until you find one you have the best chemistry with. A bit over the top? Yes. But you're worth it to him, and he will do whatever he can to see you beat this.

[steveisagay]

How to fix the damage

Disabled munver

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 6.5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Disabled Munver has taken over my life and I decided to write. I'm gonna do my best to do multiple parts and all of that happy bullshit.

Warnings: self-deprication, internalized homophobia, suicidal thoughts (you blink you miss it), not proof read so I have no idea what else

He couldn't even comprehend how much his life was falling apart, but he knew for sure it already did. Jason was dead one minute and waking up in the hospital the next. His girlfriend was murdered, but instead of it being the metalhead he was tracking down it was some other vessel apparently. He was in the hospital which sure sucked. But what was the worst was the fact that he was now paralyzed from the waist down. His parents told him that he was 'blessed' and how 'lucky he was to get out with such a small injury' but how was this small?

He lost everything, he couldn't play basketball, he lost a full ride scholarship, and he couldn't even go to the bathroom by himself. It did get slightly worse though, because Eddie was also in his hospital room. He wasn't visiting, his injuries were too bad for him to get off that easily, the two boys had to share the room. He would've thrown a fit about it if Eddie hadn't been so honest about the upside down and what happened to Chrissy. He also maybe was a kinda good storyteller.

His kids, well not his kids but the ones that visited, were somewhat nice. Although he had a feeling that the curly haired one didn't like him at all, and he knew for sure Lucas didn't forgive him for getting in his way. Jason could never forgive himself for all of everything that happened. It had to be his fault that it started, Chrissy started to grow distant and he should've said something but he didn't want to drive her away. Maybe it really was all his fault. Maybe he was being punished by God, for being a somewhat shitty boyfriend, for being...

That part wasn't true, he wasn't one of them. He wasn't like Eddie or, apparently, Billy. He dated Chrissy, he loved Chrissy. He'd be lying if he didn't say that Eddie was nice, and funny, and amazing with kids. Jason's parents asked him if he needed his own room but after hearing about the Upside Down and hearing how Eddie fought those bats he didn't want to leave. Eddie knew what he was doing incase something else happened and he couldn't really defend himself, you know, with his legs. Hell it'd be better if they just got ripped off, instead of him being ripped in half.

His stitches hurt like hell most days, but atleast he could still feel that area. With how stressed he was recently he didn't even know if he could, well, get off, properly. Everything always ached and himself and his parents refused to have him put on a morphine drip, so instead he was on 15 different medications. He wasn't allowed to keep any of his medicine on him while in the hospital per his therapist's request.

Jason had been going to physical therapy as well as normal therapy. His regular therapist, Dr. Linda, said that he had signs of depression, PTSD and anxiety. She also said that he should try to be less cynical. He wanted to say that she should try to be less optimistic. Most of their sessions were talking about his childhood, getting ripped in half, his (former) girlfriend, faith. Physical therapy was different though, it never helped the way he saw it. If it was really helping then he would have been able to walk by now.

The only thing that really kept him from hiding all of his pills everyday was Eddie, mostly. The only thing that kept him from clawing his skin until he couldn't anymore. He was always so bright whenever he got visitors, but Jason saw how exhausted he looked when everyone was gone. Jason and Eddie got closer than they would have ever guessed before all of this. Eddie saw Jason crying and unable to do almost anything without someone else, and Jason saw Eddie drained from a whole day of putting on a fake face.

A little while Jason's parents stopped showing up, and a little bit after that he learned that they left again. It didn't really hurt, it was just how it was, sure his parents were affectionate but that's just when they were home. His dad was a businessman and of course that was what he was supposed to be but... Nevermind it was stupid.

Jason was supposed to be sleeping, and if it wasn't for the lulling sound of Eddie's snores and the air being forced into his lungs he would've kept worrying. Jason had been worrying all of his life, but maybe he was fine getting some rest. It's not like his medication gave him any choice.

[hemingway-papers]

even for a disney movie tangled takes a pretty random but enjoyable departure from the original fairytale and i do think that's because another prince character just wasn't cutting it and they decided to incorporate the gentleman thief storytelling tradition instead. the art design and miyazaki loving team behind it pretty overtly tells me the idea for that change came from the castle of cagliostro and a deep appreciation for it.

and me? personally? I WOULD rank cagliostro one of the most sincerely moving and aesthetically enchanting but also actiony fun movies about a princess ever animated and somehow it's not trying too hard to be ironic or hip or something. I feel like it's an obvious choice for study when trying to make a tricky script adaptation work when it is calling for the upbeat fight sequences and genre aware clever subversions but still needing to sincerely remain a pretty princess story in a magical land that does actually celebrate the spirit of fairytales and trying not to skimp too hard on any aspect

the original script for the rapunzel adaptation before lasseter took it over btw was a sort of fish out of water body swap modern day disney princess parody situation banking off the success of shrek. that was imo directly reworked as Enchanted. and much better utilized that way too

tbh in seeking a good solution to the new but not too new direction for disney, post-potf critical acclaim for returning to roots of sincerity but pre-frozen box office sensation, still seeking that dreamworks and pixar level of market domination. there was a very happy tonal medium to be found in cagliostro and it's success does suggest what something like that could do in a market looking for more modern, self aware and action packed takes on princess movies. a market that was already responding well to the dubs of other miyazaki directed movies disney was distributing.

castle of cagliostro does deconstruct fairytale stories and notions and princess movies, but does so much more lovingingly earnestly and whimsically, with a lot of affection for the source material compared to the cynicism of shrek. which as heart felt and genius as it is , wasn't something the disney company could pull off and maintain their brand.

there is nothing but sympathy for the kind of idyllic childhood notions of heroes and fairytale castles present in older disney movies, because clarisse herself holds onto those notions to help her maintain hope when escaping her situation. lupin plays into it too with some irony but not in a way that mocks her, just lightly mocks himself. it's a movie about how the real world can be really hard and at times you WILL face things that are insurmountable alone because that's normal and part of being a real person with normal limits. and asking for help from kind people isn't a weakness but part of life, a beautiful part of life even.

i've actually never seen a damsel in distress storyline portrayed as so human and understandable and not shameful. nor as a mark of being incapable but a role we all play at some point. it directly signals those who are most capable at the time to heed those around you. for what the hell else are all those skills and power youve got good for in the first place. DO be aware of those who are currently drowning in a situation no one should be expected to magically just surmount or suffer on their own and DO take action. it's your job

i love the castle of cagliostro down to my very core because I think it manages to express innocence wonderment as a strength of the soul even when juxtaposed against the complexities and realities of the often harsh present day adult world. and does so even more gently and optimistically than other similar hits like shrek and princess bride. in that sense it's too perfect for any modern disney filmmaker to NOT find inspiration in. anyone would be happy to look to it as one of the examples of how to make a fairytale adventure feel updated, cool and self aware but still maintain its palpable respect for those who love innocence and wonder.