#'whats your biggest fear' 'the lazer eye man'

[drefear]

Sympathy

Based on this ask, have some angst and smut.

Miguel goes on a mission and hears some of his biggest fears become reality for this villain, then coming home to you.

TW: Sad story, angst, fear, smut, crying.

Bright red webs shot out of Miguel’s wrists as he yanked himself higher, bloodied and wounded from the mission he was currently on. He didn’t have backup often, but today he needed it, and Hobie was late. He held off the anomaly for as long as he could before Hobie got there, then calling in one more spider as the two could barely hold their own. Lyla sent Ben to help and the three were currently having issues with the beast, a Sandman that was rampaging and aiming straight for a hospital. 

“He’ll break the canon!” Miguel’s voice was hoarse as Hobie webbed the Sandman, him and Ben grabbing the enemy as Miguel threw a trap at its feet. 

“Let me out!” He bellowed as lazers surrounded him and kept him trapped in the nanotechnology. Miguel’s shoulders heaved as the sandman pounded on the buzzing tech and finally fell to his knees. 

“Please let me out… I just… I lost my family.” He froze at the villain's words, eyes glancing back at the cowering man. “You lost them?”

“My wife was going to divorce me and take my daughter, and I lost it… ended up killing them both and now I’m here.” Miguel’s eyes widened at the admission and he felt his heart ache. He knew what that was like, to make an accident and lose everything. 

“You’ll be back home soon.” He answered, trying to keep a straight face and now frown too much. He didn’t want the other two spiders to see any type of vulnerable reaction. 

His mind ran back to Gabriella, to how she smiled and the day she disappeared in his arms from his own doing. 

And then he thought of you. 

You with your soft hair and magnetic smile, melodic voice that made him feel easy when he needed to calm down. 

As Hobie went to take the villain away, Miguel stopped him. 

“Why was she going to divorce you?” He looked down at the man curiously. 

“She said I worked too much, I neglected her and our daughter…” He rambled and Miguel stayed quiet, then letting Ben and Hobie take him back to HQ. 

His mind was racing from the villain's words. 

Had he been neglecting you?

He did work a lot, and recently, you’d both been very busy. The spot anomaly was taking up most of his days and nights, usually leaving you alone for long periods unless it was just cuddling your sleeping form and waking up to you gone, cooking him lunch and wrapping it up in a bag for him to take to HQ. 

See, you both were busy, it wasn’t just him. 

But the nagging in the back of his mind didn’t stop. 

He finished the paper work he needed to in a frantic rush, scribbling and typing as fast as he could. He needed to see you, talk to you, hear you say that you still loved him. 

He’d almost failed to ‘thread the needle’ like he taught all recruits, on his way home, almost in a manic state as he climbed up the side of your shared apartment building with his claws. Hopping onto your balcony, he quietly slid open the glass door and heard you humming quietly, the shower running. You hummed when you were thinking, which worried him. What were You thinking about? 

“Mi reina?” He called out, testing if you seemed upset with him or not. 

“Miguelito?” You answered, popping your head out of the bathroom and smiling. “You’re home early, did something happen at HQ?” You inquired, going back into the bathroom to get back in the shower. He pulled his clothing off as he followed you like a puppy, hands itching to touch your celestial skin. A trail of his clothes could be found from the living room to the bathroom door, as he saw your frame behind the glass shower door, scrubbing your scalp. His hands found the bathroom door as he tapped gently, watching you turn and give him a gentle smile. “Hard day?” 

He slides open the door and wraps his arms around you as he steps inside, tucking his head into your shoulder as the warm water heats up the air around you both. You can feel the tension in his shoulders as he leans his head on your shoulder and slumps forward to lean a bit on you. You let out a little surprised laugh as you card your fingers through his hair and hear him give a soft sigh of comfort. 

“Just need you.” He mumbles and closes his eyes, gripping your hips tightly. You understood the unspoken confession; he needed comfort. 

Turning to face him, your hands tangled into his brown curls as the water bounced off of his broad back and you planted soft, gentle kisses to his shoulder while his forehead creased deeper. He couldn’t turn off his mind, the curse of being brilliant, but you knew how to at least quiet the thoughts. Pulling his face to yours, you finally collided your lips with his and kissed him in languide, relaxed strokes of your tongue against his. 

“Bebe…” He whispered against your mouth and sank deeper into your embrace, needing the comfort and love you gave him. 

“I know.” You moved to turn off the water and pull him out of the shower towards your bedroom, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Lifting you up, he sat you on the counter and tucked his head into the crook of your neck, kissing his way down toward your naval and between your thighs. His tongue licked flat against your folds and your spine shot up straight with electricity, eyes fluttering shut from pleasure. His eyes caught the sight of you blushing from his mouth and continued to slowly dine on you, a never ending dinner of sounds he could eat up and not once get full. His fingers held the plush of your legs and moved one calf over his shoulder, pushing his nose against your bundle of nerves and making you whine louder, flicking his tongue into your hole with practiced movements he knew you loved. His pretty little wife was his biggest weakness, and he was yours as well, always addicted to being on him, around him, full of him. Miguel sucked on you and made your head feel light, snapping your hips a bit into his face and turning even more red from not being able to control your own body because of him. Your orgasm hit like a wall and you shivered, clenching on his tongue as he slowed to let you roll through it with ease. 

Standing up once more, he slotted himself between your legs and you held his face in your smaller hands, eyes connected and refusing to look away from each other. 

“Miguelito… Did something happen?” You whispered and he just nodded, his thumb finding your clit and forcing a pitiful sound from your throat. He didn’t want to talk about it, that was now clear, and you would do anything to help him feel better. “So beautiful…” He mumbled as he pushed the head of his cock against you, sliding against your wet juices now soaking him and finally pushing into you. The stretch burned for a split second before his cock nudged a spot that made your vision blur around the edges and your mouth drop open. The grunt he released was one of need, of relief, and it made you even more hungry for him, to sooth him. His hands fell to your waist as he began a steady, even pace and rocked against you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Leaning your forehead to his chest, you could barely breathe as you felt so imbued with him and only him. Every pent up emotion seemed to pour out of him when you two had sex, and right now, his upset dripped from his skin like honey. The tension was thick with underlying love and urgency. 

The pace never got much quicker, he continued to move in tandem with you as you cried out and felt him hitting every spot he knew you loved, the soaked cavern of your body becoming a home for him now. 

His eyes watched as your face contorted and flinched at every pull of his cock inside of you, gasping a bit every thrust back in. You felt the hot sensation building in your lower body once more, the flex of your leg muscles as your body shook, heels pushing into his back and egging him to keep going. “I’m so close…” You whispered, pitching becoming higher and higher as you felt tears prick your eyes from stimulation of his head bumping your sensitive spots continuously. 

“Let go, mi vida.” He instructed you and just his words had a masterful effect on you, shaking and sobbing through the slow orgasm that held your mind in a chokehold and your body captive. He followed behind you, feeling your whole being convulse and shudder because of him. White painted your insides as he stilled and forced the combined essence of you both as far in you as it could be. He huffed and panted with you, the sound of your heaving breaths all that could be heard. Your eyes scanned him over to check on him, and that’s when you noticed his eyes becoming glassy and wet. 

“Oh, darling…” You spoke and cupped his face again, leaning your head to his and hearing him sniffle. “Please don’t leave… I love you, I’m sorry…” A cold sweat broke over you at his begging and you stared at him, confused. 

“What did you do?” You asked, fear lacing your veins. 

“I’ve been neglecting you, I haven’t been good enough for you-” 

“Oh, no no, Miguel.” You interrupted him and pressed a finger to his lips to quiet him. “You haven’t neglected me, you’re busy. I’m here, I promise, stop worrying about us. I love you.” You assured and pet his cheek a bit, trying to give him some peace of mind.

“I’m right here.”

[majimemegoro]

answering these questions for og okudera

3. What type of drunk are they? LIFES A PARTY WOOHOOOOO

4. Give three of their strengths and three of their weaknesses. strengths: generous, devoted, positive. weaknesses: irresponsible, self-effacing, ignores difficult truths.

5. What’s their favourite food? whatever hes most craving at the moment. or whatever hes currently eating, if its good.

6. If they were to be represented by a seven deadly sin, which would it be? honestly probably gluttony

7. Do they have any living relatives? If they do, which one do they like the least and why? living father and either 3/4 brothers 3/3  brothers. not much  relationship with all of them bc of who he is as a person, but definitely most dislikes his father because his father reeeeally wanted him to stay in the mountain village and be a respectable matagi and okudera realllllllyy did NOT want to do that. the paternal pressures on an eldest son.

8. Describe (or draw) their body type. large and tall. very muscular and a bit fat. shoulders and pecs are one of the 7 wonders of the world.

9. What’s their biggest fear? being stuck on the mountain in small-town life. alternatively, loneliness? boredom? something like that. losing sato, maybe.

10. Are they a dog or a cat person? dog.

11. Describe them in 5 words. enthusiastic man destroys own life

12. If your character was handed a puppy, how would they react? ITS SO CUTE WAHH!!!

13. How would they react to suddenly being hugged? probably hugs the person back. depends on his mood though bc he can also get snippy.

14. What’s their biggest secret? that hes actually very sad. also good luck getting him to talk about his mother.

15. What are their pet peeves? running out of something he wanted to eat or drink. or smoeone pointing out unpleasant truths and bringing down the vibe.

16. What’s their opinion on pineapple on pizza? a new kind of food? bring it on !

17. On average, how much sleep do they get at a time? “on average” this man has no average. he can sleep for 28 hours straight or stay awake for two days. and he Will.

18. If they were a superhero, what powers would they have? (if they have powers, what are they and under what conditions do they work?) idk but he would WANT to be able to fly or shoot lazers from his eyes or something. classic superhero.

19. Does your character collect anything? a bit of a hoarder, will hold onto whatever and won’t care if he loses it later. unless he suddenly wants it again..

21. How many languages do they speak, and what are they? only japanese, but also knows yama-kotoba

22. When your character is sad, what do they do to cheer themselves up? quickly distract himself! if we don’t think about the sadness it doesn’t exist!

23. Does your character snore? a little yeah

24. Describe their voice. very expressive. that’s all i know. and probably like a tenor or something, not SUPER deep

25. How long would they last in a zombie apocalypse? either gets killed near the beginning for doing something mad dumn, or sacrifices himself for someone else halfway through. he has good survival & naturalist skills and hes strong, but he has no self-preservation.

[bluecookies02]

Ight bet! I'll give it to you in list form 😊

Favorite color that isn't well known?

Most defining moment in your life so far?

Favorite flower?

Favorite dinosaur?

Do you have any tattoos?

How bout piercings?

If not. Do you want any? If so, do you want anymore?

Whats your biggest fear?

Biggest dream?

Comfort food?

Do you like sweets?

If you could travel anywhere in the world, and in any time period, when and where would you go?

Favorite genre of music? (And any recommendations? 🥺🥺)

Where are you from? Have you ever left your home town?

Who are you when you're all by yourself?

Biggest secret you're willing to share about yourself?

You don't have to answer all of these! I dont wanna make you uncomfortable. And if you wanna just message me and answer them privately that works too!! I hope you have a good day! 💕💕

I ain't no intresting person but let's go😌

1) well my favorite colour is pastel-ish blue, but I don't know what colours r "well known" lmao

2) deciding to enroll into college that is fucking up every drop of serotonin I own🥲

3) So i'm allergic to the flowers that have pollen but I like Lilacs, they be real pretty w tht smol lil batches of cute flower thingies. But if we're talking flowers that I can keep, I like roses. Kinda softer red or those pale ass ones that are mostly white but w a lil bit of any colour gradually appearing in the middle.

4) stegosauruses have tht chill vibe man, i dunno

5)nope

6) also nope apart from the classic ear one lmao

7) I do want a septum but I'm also always sneezing and the idea of snot sticking to it makes me REEEE...Ik it's irrational but shhh it's a problem. I also want a buttload of tattoos but I have to remove my body hairs w a fucking lazer bc I don't trust my clumsy ass w a razor that can cut up my tattoo on accident.

8) talking to new ppl that I know I won't vibe w, hights, bleeding (not like period blood lmao but as soon as I see a large amount of blood coming from me I'll panic, not on others tho, just on me...that sounds selfish doesn't it😂)...and fucking cetipedes( give me any other fucking bug and I'll murder it in cold blood or pick it up if it ain't dangerous....but if I see a centipede...man idk what it is bout them but they have the perfect body structure to sneak into your ear and rub their ugly legs in your ear wax)....

9) Find a nice cock in life yk...Not waste years on giving tht gluck gluck 9000 to the wrong person😩 And have a decent job that pays bills and vibratos and hopefully some of my parents bills.

10) peanut butter, fries, anything fried rly, and chocolate filled croissants(dunno if they have a diff name when they r w chocolate) oh and also sunflower seeds or whole peanuts bc breaking them open is therapeutic lmao.

11) everything except caramel and gummy bears I think. I am also not a fan of those sour/sweet candies.

12) Japan bc I want to try the food and feast my eyes on the pretty😩 Time vise I don't really care where it is as long as it had macho strong armored men that can make me into their living fles- yk what, next question

13) sadly, only tiktok songs but you can dm me for my saved sounds 😂

14) I'm slavic, ain't tellin where I'm from tho reee, And I did leave my home town a lot I guess. I've been to Greece, Slovenia, Italy, Bulgaria...And I've been to many cities all over my country bc everything is pretty close and if it isn't, we had school trips that took us

15) a big blob of sad horny and tired.

16) My secrets are so secret that even I don't know what they are. But apart from that I obviously am not developing a piss kink yk. And I do not want to cosplay certain characters bc I want to flick it while looking at the mirror. Dunno If I make an OF, no I didn't 😌

haha

b y e

[inkribbon796]

What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 3: More TV Listings, Nothing to See Here

Summary: Friday TV Guide Listings:

6:00 (PST) Manhunter (CC)—Game

(2) (3) (12)

Contestants compete to hunt down Dream ( :) ) and try to win for various prizes.

Tour de Force (CC)—Drama

(6) (16) (24)

Singer-performer Nate (Nathan Sharp) and his band of supernatural investigators battle against various paranormal threats including the enigmatic Big Q (Quackity) and his casino mafia.

The Grand Convergence (CC)—Drama-Action

When a group of scientists give life to artificial intelligence, things begin to fly wildly out of control.

(2) (6) (18)

A/N: WARNING for android death, it is temporary but it is there.

And now he’s more TV Listings for your enjoyment. But ignore them, we’ll get to them later.

7:00 (PST) Movie (CC)—Sci-fi-Drama

“Space with Markiplier.” Marc Iplier.

(2)

Movie (CC)—Fantasy

“The Antarctic Empire.” Technoblade, Philza.

(6)

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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CHANNEL 6

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[Camera cuts to Badboy Halo who is sitting for an interview]

“Well,” Bad smiled. “Everyone knows that Dream the only thing Dream cares about more than himself is George.”

[CUT to Bad setting up a box and rope trap with a headshot of George inside]

“Yeah,” Bad smile grew even bigger as he surveyed his world. “I think I got this.”

As if Dream had been watching and listening in, and he was, he tagged Bad in the back with a foam rock and knocked him to the side as he ran past.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 24

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

“Boys, boys,” Big Q smiled as Nate and Phantom were dragged in front of the mob boss by Sam and Purpled. “I thought we were done with all this.”

“Maybe if you weren’t causing trouble we would be,” Nate spat as he and Phantom shrugged off the people dragging him in. “Where’s Mad and Mare, you sick sadist.”

“Oh gentlemen,” Big Q grinned. “I haven’t done anything to them. Haven’t even touched a hair on their heads.”

“Bull,” Phantom told him, the vampire’s eyes turning red in anger. “You’ve got five seconds—”

“Easy now, big guy,” Big Q pulled out a thin stake of wood twisted from long wild rose stalks. “Let’s not get too hasty. I’ve got a job for you boys.”

“What is it?” Nate asked hesitantly. Even thinking about taking a job from Big Q made his skin crawl.

“Well, you see,” Big Q smiled as one of his associates, Fundy, raced in with a white fox right behind him to hand the individual some papers. “Oh thanks, kid.”

Fundy smiled brightly as Big Q looked back at them. “There’s this little group that’s been causing trouble for me for a while now and—”

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 2

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

“Well I didn’t suspect this would happen!” The Director spat at Google.

“Well maybe you should have stopped at making the first one!” Google spat in return.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

Outside the bubbles, as the light and rubble cleared enough for the heroes that hadn’t been snatched up by the bubbles, were standing in the ruins of the gazebo. Each of the bubbles was at least the size of a house, the biggest were the size of a five-story building.

“The fuck was that?” Silver shouted. He was standing with J.J and Jackie.

“Silver!” Oliver was running over to them with Mini’s drive. “I can’t contact Bing!”

“You okay?” Silver asked, flying over. Mini came out of his drive and looked around frantically.

“Yes but Bing is off our network, along with the other Googles,” Oliver told them.

“That’s probably because none of ‘em[1] have any type of service or connection.” Someone was calling down to them from the top of the ruins of the gazebo. He was in a white hoodie and was looking down at them.

“Great,” Jackie spat as he braced for a fight. Two other people emerged from seemingly nowhere, someone with a red and white cameo mask, and a woman who had roses physically growing out of her hair. “We’re busy.”

“Name’s Punz,” the man in a white hoodie gestured to himself. “These are Ponk and Hannah.”

“We’re fookin’[2] busy,” Jackie spat. “What part ‘a that didn’t yeh Servers fooks get?”[3]

Punz sighed and rolled his eyes, “Well normally I don’t care what you chumps do, unless I’m paid to care. But my paycheck just got sucked into one of those bubbles and I want to get him back out.”

“Who, Dream?” Silver asked. “How long has he been here?”

Punz sighed. “Some of us happened to be in the area. Most of us are still in the Serve though. But Dream and the others who were nearby during the ceremony got grabbed.”

“How many?” Silver asked, looking at the bubbles.

“About half of us, if you include Techno and Phil, and Dream does,” Punz told him. “Okay, look, I don’t care about your team, the issue is that Dream pays me, and I like having a job so I’m going to drag him back out so he can keep wiring me money. Besides, my brother’s in there.”

“Okay so we’ll start tryin’ ta pop those fookers,”[4] Jackie decided, Silver flew up to try and get inside the closest bubble but it just bounced him back.

“Ponk,” Punz called out.

“I’m no Skeppy,” Ponk said, a book appearing in hand, “but I can make do. ‘Sides[5], Foolish is in there somewhere.”

J.J walked over to Ponk to look at the book, his pocket watch in hand as he anchored himself in a spot to start turning back time if he needed it.

The mute hero was signing to Ponk as the mage was starting to cast spells. “Hmmmm~ That one?” Ponk asked and J.J nodded.

“Who’d you find?” Punz asked, looking at the bubble.

“Don’t know, but there are four people in there,” Ponk said. “It’s not the smallest but it’s already weakening.”

Oliver seemed to realize something. “Wait, Host gave me something right before the wedding.”

“So he did think somethin’[6] was happenin’[7],” Jackie frowned.

The yellow android pulled out a box and opened it to see a note and the blue solid state drive that they had seen a couple months ago helping to power a generator with Logan’s soul inside.

On the note read:

Replace Bing’s drive with this. The bubbles are little small realities. Target weaker ones to make the stronger bubbles pop.

“That’s not good,” Oliver told them, his voice sounding rattled. “Why would Bing need his drive replaced?”

“What does his drive do?” Silver asked.

“Bing’s central drive is like a human brain, it can’t just be switched out and I don’t know what’s in this thing.”

“So let’s find Bing and figure out what’s wrong,” Silver told him.

“Okay,” Ponk spoke up. “I think I can get it open but I don’t know what’s going to happen when we get in there.

Hannah circles her hand and the ground turned into a massive rose as Ponk and J.J opened up the bubble. It didn’t pop, but it was open just long enough for them to jump in.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 2

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

It was a dark, neon-lit city that looked like Egoton. But the group appeared in some official-looking military room.

Google was arguing with the Director with Red and Green right behind him.

“Oliver?” Green gasped in surprise. “You’re alive?”

Google rushed over to Mini and forced a power down and stowed his drive away.

“Where’s Bing?” Oliver asked.

“This cretin factory reset Bing!” Google glared at the Director.

Oliver looked at them in horror.

“What?” Oliver took a step back.

“Yeh[8] what?!” Jackie spat in an absolute fury. “He was a person! Yeh[8] killed him.”

“He was a faulty computer program who wasn’t even doing his job,” the General snapped.

Google hit his limit and shot the Director right between the eyes. All the organic beings in the room startled and yelled in surprise.

“What did you do?” Silver stared at him in horror.

“That was for what he did to Bing!” Google snarled.

Oliver pulled out the drive he’d been given from the Host, “The Host gave me this, he told me to replace Bing’s drive with it.”

“Why? What’s on it?” Google demanded.

“I don’t know, but if Bing’s already been reset then it couldn’t harm him anymore than the humans already have.” Oliver was desperate, frantic.

“Let’s just find him,” Silver said, glancing down at the Director and he realized he wasn’t sure if the man was real or not.

Fortunately, the group didn’t have to go far because Bing came to them. Or at least what was left of him. It was Bing as he normally looked, minus the dark sunglasses, his eyes a glowing, angry orange. His usual stance was far more upright and tense, and any humor was gone.

“Bing?” Oliver whispered fearfully.

“Memesis Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Delta,” Bing said in a fully robotic tone, his usual way of speaking was also gone, “you will submit yourself for a factory reset or be terminated.”

Silver looked around the room, it was too enclosed, there were too many people. When the Google androids didn’t do what Bing wanted he moved to attack them, Google moving in front of Oliver to protect him.

Jackie tried to race in to help and was barely fast enough to avoid getting his leg crushed by the malevolent android.

Silver was trying to keep Bing off of Jackie or anyone else more breakable but he realized something with grim certainty: Bing was going to start killing people.

Silver flew back to get some distance and speed and then snapped forward in an instant the bubble popped and they were back on the ground where they had all started. Bing’s mechanical body arced and jolted as Silver held the mangled and destroyed remains of Bing’s central drive in his hand.

“No!” Google shouted in horror, everyone just staring at Silver in horror. The android raced forward, aiming to crush Silver’s neck in his hands but Silver flew out of the way.

“We have a replacement drive,” Silver reminded him. “I wouldn’t have done that if we didn’t have that drive.”

“I don’t know what’s on that!” Google roared, pulling out lazers and trying to murder Silver.

Oliver came behind Google and began looking Bing over, a look of panic and fear on his face.

“He was still physically there, if that drive doesn’t contain his personality there’s no way to rebuild him,” Google snarled.

“The rest of his core is intact,” Oliver announced, “we just need to fix some wires.”

Google stopped and looked back at Oliver, trying to not look at Bing’s remains. “Fine, try it.”

Then the android glared at Silver, “If this doesn’t work, Silver, I will destroy every atom of your body.”

“Right,” Silver told him but still kept his distance.

“The only thing this world had going for it was that Bing loved it,” Google told him as he knelt down next to Oliver who was frantically trying to repair the frayed wires and crushed metal.

Google pulled out the drive and just stared at it. His nanites helped to print and construct materials.

Jackie raced over to Silver, keeping an eye on Google. “We need ta[9] find Logic,” Jackie told Silver, “maybe if we do he can help—”

At that moment, there was a little sound and Bing’s little orange accent lights came online and everyone braced for another attack but after a couple more minutes, Bing got up and looked around.

“Googs? What are— Where am I?” Bing looked confused, his voice back to normal, before he looked alarmed as he checked the day’s date. “The drive?”

Google began to fret over Oliver, “Do you have any faulty programs? Glitches? Did that drive have any malware attached to it?”

“I’m running a diagnostic right now, dude,” Bing told him. “Give me a minute.”

“So what was the deal with that drive, thought Logic would have broken that thing?” Silver asked.

“Dunno,”[10] Bing shrugged. “Host had me use that drive that Spade trapped Lo in, said I would need ta[9] make a backup of myself an’[11] that it had enough room. Guess he was right. Might need ta[9] be filled on everything that happened for the past couple ‘a[12] months.”

Ponk and J.J tore open another bubble, a rumbling shock rippled out towards the other bubbles.

“Show time!” Punz called out.

“Bing is staying with me,” Google ordered. “And if you can find Logic I want him here too.”

“Yeah, havin’[13] all the brainiacs together is prolly[14] fer[15] the best,” Jackie agreed.

“Let’s go!” Punz said and Hannah began to construct another rose to jettison them up, making Silver and Jackie race after them as they jumped into another bubble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. them

2. fucking

3. What part of that didn’t you Servers fucks get?

4. Okay so we’ll start trying to pop those fuckers

5. Besides

6. something

7. happening

8. You

9. to

10. I don’t know

11. and

12. of

13. having

14. probably

15. for

[dreamvilliansnation]

J. Cole, the Platinum Rap Dissident, Steps Back From the Spotlight

RALEIGH, N.C. — Ask J. Cole about when he realized that the traditional life of a platinum rap star didn’t suit him and he’ll tell the story of the 2013 BET Awards, when a stylist dressed him in a loud Versace sweater that two other people ended up wearing on the red carpet. He’ll talk about meetings with label executives and personal heroes who encouraged him to make musical decisions that, deep down, he never felt comfortable with. He’ll recall an awakening to the potency of the love of the woman he’d been with for years. And he’ll remember his trip in the wake of the killing of Michael Brown to Ferguson, Mo., where the most valuable thing he found he could do was just to listen.

And so, a couple of years ago, after he’d released two platinum albums, he began to make changes. A move back down to this part of the country, not far from where he grew up, in Fayetteville. Meditation every day, or as often as he could manage. Marriage. A commitment to asking about the needs of others rather than only his own. And a decision to make music that spoke to his own creative and emotional idiosyncrasies, no matter how far it strayed from that of his hip-hop superstar generational peers.

He retreated from the spotlight so thoroughly that one recent weekend found him at a Boys & Girls Club here, firing perimeter shots in a playoff game in a local recreational basketball league, largely left to his own devices apart from a handful of picture requests and a couple of mixtapes shoved into the hand of his security guard.

“The other side, it’s what we grow up believing that we need and want. It’s everybody’s dream,” he said, pulling away from the gym in his black Range Rover. “Who doesn’t want the pick of the litter on this, that and the third? Money, women, cars. And beyond all of that — which I really wasn’t into — praise.”

He continued, “It’s addictive. To recognize it, it was the first step.” And to change it required overcoming internal fear: “I had to recognize, well, where’s the fear coming from?”

That internal struggle has led Mr. Cole, 32, a mainstream rap dissident who has gone platinum on each of his albums, to the most fruitful work of his career. In December, he released “4 Your Eyez Only,” his best, most provocative and yet most relaxed album, and on Saturday, HBO will air “J. Cole: 4 Your Eyez Only,” an hourlong special that combines documentary footage of Mr. Cole’s travels to various cities through the Midwest and the South that have personal or political resonance for him with in situ music videos that locate Mr. Cole’s songs as part of a larger conversation about black resilience and dignity under the conditions of white supremacy.

“4 Your Eyez Only” the album is told mostly through a character that’s a composite of two men Mr. Cole grew up with from Fayetteville, and with whom he’s still in touch. He’s a tough guy, a criminal stereotype, except inverted. “The people that I know that live that life and come from that life, or even used to live that life, there’s so much more than that,” Mr. Cole said. “They have multiple sides, and the side that is the strongest is love” — of mothers, of friends, of girlfriends, of children. The album ends in a heart-rending nine-minute apologia written from the character to his daughter, offering explanations for his bad choices and asking for forgiveness. The album’s goal, Mr. Cole said, was “to humanize the people that have been villainized in the media.”

By this point in the conversation, he’d settled into the basement of the Sheltuh, the home in a far-out suburb he and his associates have rented for the last couple of years that has served as a hang spot and the de facto center of operations for his label, Dreamville. On one wall were record shelves teeming with alphabetized 12” singles from hip-hop’s golden age. He bought the collection, a kind of spiritual decoration, from Nervous Reck of Bomm Sheltuh, one of his teenage hip-hop idols.

These are the records, and the era — the 1990s — that Mr. Cole harks back to, and a sound that is a far cry from where the genre has moved in recent years. Still, his commitment has been undimmed. “I understand that what I’m doing is what I don’t see, is what I would like to see being done but is not being done,” he said.

Even though he found conventional success early in his career, he found the life he’d willed himself into to be ungratifying. “Any reasonable person would be ecstatic,” he said. “I didn’t have that feeling.”

And so began the choices that led to him becoming a conscientious objector to the dictates of rap stardom. Rather then continuing to attempt to analyze what might make a hit, a process Mr. Cole said he found unrewarding — “Trying to prove that I could do something that they don’t think I can, it was a very sad place when I look back” — he began making music at home, on his couch, only coming to the studio for the final stages of recording and polishing.

The decisions that emanated from that friction ended up setting the stage for a striking personal and aesthetic turnabout. He got married, and he and his wife, Melissa, recently had a baby. (He declined to reveal the sex or the name.) He now has control of his master recordings. And on “4 Your Eyez Only,” he digs in to deeply emotional narratives, and continues his penchant for tackling left-field subject matter, like “Foldin Clothes,” about the thrills of domesticity. “It’s a celebration of growing up,” he said. “I chose this path, and damn it feels good,” comparing its energy to how other rappers might celebrate a new Bentley.

It also transformed him from a student of the great storytelling rappers to a teacher. That’s clearest on “False Prophets,” released separately just before the album (it wasn’t included because it disrupted the narrative), which found Mr. Cole diagnosing the neuroses of his peers and heroes without naming them, though the internet filled in the blanks quickly.

Rappers rap about other rappers all the time — subliminal insult, direct attack — but rarely from a place of love. “That speaks to the state of us as a people,” he said. “For so long my mind state was, I have to show how much better than the next man I am through these bars. Who’s the best? Let me prove it. And it’s just like, damn, I’m really feeding into a cycle of keeping black people down, I’m really feeding into that.”

Mr. Cole knows that the disease of stardom inspires cries for help, and now, instead of judging from afar, he wonders, “There’s nobody around you to listen? There’s nobody listening?”

Listening is his new métier. The way Mr. Cole presents in his HBO special, which he directed with Scott Lazer, is primarily as observer, not actor. He returns to Jonesboro, Ark., where his father is from, and the two men visit a community center that serves as a makeshift museum of local black history. In another scene, in Ferguson, Mr. Cole watches as two men argue about government obstacles to black progress. Throughout the show, apart from when he’s rapping, Mr. Cole’s voice is barely heard, but his eyes are taking it all in.

“I felt like it would be mad powerful for black people to see black people talking to each other. And you see a rapper who’s considered one of the biggest in the game, just listening.”

He added, “These are people that never get to be heard, by the world or even by each other.”

That lack of representation, Mr. Cole said, can lead to potentially catastrophic misunderstandings. In March of last year, police raided the Sheltuh; Mr. Cole believes a neighbor was fearful it was a drug den. Security footage that captures the raid is used in the HBO special, showing dozens of heavily armed men forcibly entering the building only to find, well, nothing. (A ticket was issued for a small amount of marijuana found on the premises, he said.)

“I wrote six songs that weekend,” Mr. Cole noted wryly — they included the powerful “Neighbors,” from the new album.

After speaking for a couple of hours, Mr. Cole wandered back upstairs and chatted with a friend who’d recently spoken to a friendly neighbor, who took pains to note that she was not the one who had called the authorities. Mr. Cole, who prefers privacy, was frustrated that the locals had caught on to his presence. But he also saw it as an opportunity.

The HBO special was around the corner, and if his neighbors were inspired to watch it, “they’re going to listen to black people for a hour,” he said. “See how human they are, and see black men walk around with their daughters, and get a whole different perspective.”

“If I’m listening,” he said, “why can’t you listen?”

Via. NY Times