#( the start of the found family: modernverse edition )

[erabundus]

@ruinlost &&. said... ❛ we can be your family. ,you get two cool brothers-❜ farrow @ the modern verse !

❝  m'not  crying.  ❞  the  boy  insists  —  though  his  red  eyes  and  trembling  voice  tell  a  different  story.  there's  a  newspaper  clutched  between both  hands,  text  smudged  slightly  by  droplets  of  moisture.  even  so,  the  name  emblazoned  across  the  front  is  DISGUSTINGLY  familiar.  a  rising  star.  a  prodigy  on  the  stage.  beneath  the  title  is  a  photograph.  the  grayscale  doesn't  properly  convey  the  extravagance  of  his  outfit;  it  all  blurs  together,  some  indecipherable  mass  of  patterns  and  tones.  there  are  petals  strewn  about,  gone  blurry  around  the  edges  with  movement,  and  in  his  hands  he  cradles  a  bouquet.  it's  a  little  funny;  he's  smiling.  it's  a  little  funny  because  he  knows  what  kind  of  bitter  thoughts  swirl  behind  that  CHEERFUL  seeming  expression.  it's  all  fake.  it's  all  a  lie.  he's  just  reflecting  what  he  thinks  everyone  wants  to  see  —  maybe  then,  maybe  if  he's  perfect,  someone  will  actually  start  to  CARE.

❝  i  told  her  what  day  the  performance  was  on.  she  knew  it  was  important.  she  had  to  know.  ❞  ren  scrubs  at  his  face  with  the  back  of  his  hand.  a  tremor  runs  through  his  frame  anew  as  he  mutters,  ❝  why ...  why  does  everything  else  always  come  before  me?  why  is  she  always  so  busy?  why  am  i  never  GOOD  enough?  ❞  he  punctuates  the  question  by  crumpling  the  paper  in  his  hand  and  throwing  it  —  though  its  light  weight  doesn't  afford  it  much  distance.  back  pressing  to  the  wall,  ren then  slides  to  the  ground.  he's  glad  they're  the  only  ones  who  really  frequent  this  corner  of  the  rec  center;  he  doesn't  want  anyone  else  to  SEE  HIM  like  this.  (  pathetic.  ugly.  flawed.  )   ❝  i  just  want  her  to  remember  i  exist.  ❞ he mutters, burying his face in his knees. ❝ and act like she's my mom ...  ❞

but  that's  entirely  the  PROBLEM,  isn't  it?  it's  almost  like  she  doesn't  want  to.  he's  old  enough  to  recognize  the  way  she  looks  at  him  —  as  if  he's  something  PAINFUL  to  stare  at.  he  doesn't  understand.  why  was  he  even  born  if  his  own  parent  can't  stand  having  him  around?

we  can  be  your  family.  ❝  ...  ❞  and  slowly,  slowly  ren  looks  up  at  farrow's  response.  there  are  tears  streaming  down  his  face  anew.  there's  a  pathetic  sniffle,  and  another  ill-fated  effort  to  wipe  them  away.  ❝  you  can  do  that?  ❞  he  asks,  genuine  confusion  filling  his  voice  —  as  if  it's  a  completely  new  concept.  a  slow  blink.  then,  tilting  his  head,  ❝  do  you ...  really  want  to?  ❞  he  doesn't  even  know  what  that  would  realistically  entail  —  only  that  he  wants  nothing  more  than  to  say  yes.  (  hear  yes  in  return.  )

someone. anyone. please care about him. please care about him. please care about him.

ANGST SENTENCE STARTERS