#('what do you wish for' 'that's a loaded question here's my twelve page thesis on why')

[perpetualxfire]

[ scarlet ]  what is one thing you wish you could do?

[ ruby ]  give one random fun fact about yourself.

[Colorful Interview for the Mun]

(You got a couple of picks from my favorite spectrum of light here~! I'm gonna go ahead and chuck this under a read more since I'm apparently feeling SUPER chatty today.)

[ Scarlet ]  

What is one thing you wish you could do?

(I assume you mean from an RP perspective, yeah? Usually when this question is asked to an RP blog it's to gauge interest in plots. Even then that's kind of a tough question to answer! I'm trying to figure it out myself. In the past, I've liked to RP when my character is just going through it, because that helped me through my shit. I actually only recently put together... Well. I kind of knew, but not the depth of it- part of the reason I have such this tight bond with this particular fictional character is because she and I have a very similar kind of trauma from perfectionism and a desire to prove oneself and receive a kind of validation that's missing in our lives, and watching those avenues to do so get shut down. It's why I hate when people reduce her character to being 'competitive' - like.. you're right, but that's also incredibly reductive-)

(I digress, though; that's not the question. My point was that I used to use her as an avenue for my own feelings of frustration and desire for validation, but that didn't really... Stick for long. I used her as a less positive coping mechanism for a long time, writing pain for the sake of pain, because I felt a deep self loathing and wanted to write the pain to externalize it; I was all for injury plots, and admittedly still LOVE hurt/comfort plots (but it has to have both elements anymore - at the time I wasn't so worried about the comfort part). These tools don't really do much for me anymore, though, so as an RPer...)

(I wish I could get closure. I wish that I could single-handedly rebuild the community - it seemed hell bent on self-imploding for a loooong time. I wish I could write more combat! Writing combat is what got me into writing Carolina in the first place, but it's... I would argue it's ten times harder to find somebody you as a mun have chemistry with to write combat than it is for most other situations. It can't just be characters; even wildly imbalanced fights can become interesting if the muns have that chemistry and communication for it. That's part of what bugs me about the Carolina vs Meta deathbattle, actually - it had a lot of potential to be interesting and, like I feel with most deathbattle episodes, ended up being severely reductive to both characters for the sake of making a point, rather than getting into the nitty gritty of the situation. Why are they fighting? What's at stake? There's always something at stake, even in a friendly spar - be it a sense of validation from a teacher, a desire to get through a tough conversation, tackling an emotional block... While that might not be as true in real life sparring, I've found in writing there's always something in a compelling scene-)

(I kind of want to convince Sam to reboot our little venture into his covenant plotline he had; since one of the critical members of that RP isn't really around to continue it, I wouldn't mind restarting, inviting more people, organizing in a discord group...)

(I've always loved being a part of a group (see my forum rp background) and while tumblr doesn't make that easy per say, I'd love to give a three or even four way thread another shot. For the plot! The DRAMA! The action!)

[ Ruby ]  

Give one random fun fact about yourself.

(fdasfsadfs Just one? Ha. Let's see... I'm a little over a year away from earning a hard fought degree in Mathematics. Not sure what I want to do with it yet, but at least it should open a few doors, and I desperately want some open doors in my life, aha. I feel like Math isn't a commonly heard favorite subject or sought out degree in peoples who unite over a shared love of creation like the RP community, but I'm here, feeling my little bit of impostor syndrome amongst all the lovely people I've met who are majoring in literature or history or the arts... I can be creative too I promise!!!)