#(( I'm flattered that you want to read what I write and appreciate what goes into it all <3 ))

[canon-fcdder]

It's cool how you use font size to show how loud your muses are talking, though it makes it hard to read the dialogue sometimes. I feel bad about saying it, but I also want to be able to read the words you lovingly and carefully crafted together. ♡

(( Yeeeeeah, unfortunately that's not really a ❛ Stylistic ❜ choice and more of a ❛ Tunglr really likes screwing with my text ❜ thing. dfjkfngdfkgd — I think it might have to do with the new editor, since I don't recall my replies sometimes being Wonky until it switched over. Then again, I don't know for sure. Because on My desktop and mobile, everything looks Normal-Sized ( i'll include a pic of how it's Meant to look under the cut ) but apparently it can get HELLISHLY small and sporadic for some of my writing partners?? ))

(( From now on, Imma go into HTML and see if I can manually fix dialogue before posting replies and pray it sticks, because Damn. I think the text gets fixed when a post is saved into drafts, but again— I'm not sure. But anyway, sorry about that and honestly thank you SO MUCH for the kind words. I really appreciate it and there's no need to apologize, because nah I'm with you— I am Not one for ridiculously small text and very much want all my things to be Readable. I only show how loud my muses are talking through descriptors ( and occasionally using Big Text ) not by trying to hide what is being said. lmao ))

(( Ex: How my shiz is Supposed to look rip fdjgndfg ))

[shiny-jr]

Hellooo I found your work and have been binging it all and I saw that you didn't mind the feedback, so here goes

The retainer!mc felt too much like the YA book trope of 'edgy' Mc, like trying to show a cool and collected vibe but ends up like bella from twilight in a not so flattering way, the others felt like they did something or had the bases for the cast obsession on them to grow, this mc for me missed the mark, and I did felt like stopping mid read because I found them uninteresting, but all the others delivered for me so, I wanted to know how it ended

Also in a post you said about the retainer being important to vil, then shouldn't he show a threat or something to the new one? At least suspicion I guess, it felt to smooth for the MC unlike others

Anon, I saw this message not long after you sent it, but as mentioned in the last post, I got so busy I couldn't respond. But trust me when I say this: your words haunted me.

Don't worry, I'm not offended at all. I welcome the criticism, but goddamn this one... Look, usually when I get criticism, I nod, go "aight", and move on. I don't get offended when people critique my works. But yours legit made me clutch my heart? My pearls? Idk. I was baffled. That one kinda hurted, not gonna lie.

Let me tell you, I've been writing since about 2016. I like to think I have definitely improved. I've gotten countless messages and comments in the years since. Some good, some bad, most good, a few worse. However, I have never really cared in the sense where it stuck with me. But bro, when I tell you this felt like a slap in the face. A bucket of cold icy water being dumped on my head. Don't worry though. It was a probably well deserved metaphorical slap.

The point is, your words were at the back of my head for like a week. I actually discussed it with a mutual, and I think I figured it out. I wrote Pomefiore differently. Pomefiore is the sole result that just feels like its for the simps, probably because I was thinking of them the most when writing it. It was unintentional, I think, but that's the reason I came up with my mind.

Anyways, like I said, not at all offended. Just kinda an eye-opening comment, I suppose. I'm not really bothered if it's not your favorite, because a lot of other people seem to like it. And if there's one thing I learned after years of writing, is that you cannot win them all. No matter what you write, it won't appeal to everyone. That's literally impossible.

Okay, I digress, this has dragged on for too long, but I feel like I had to get that out there and share my response. Again, anon, thank you for your words! I appreciate it, even if it doesn't seem like it.

[staybabblingbaby]

Chan x Youtuber (Discover Part) a1 d1

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: Reader is an anonymous Youtuber who does English covers of various k-pop songs, including Stray Kids. Bangchan comes across one of these one night and falls in love with Reader's voice. They develop an online friendship, and Bangchan might be in love with more than just the voice.

Word Count: 962

Notes: I had a lot of fun narrating the video. I've seen it a lot in Idol novels that I read online, and it really is a fun and new perspective to use. The username may stay, it may change, i might get rid of it entirely idk. Kind of also contemplating using 'You' instead of 'person'. Idk we'll see how it goes as i work on it. Feedback would be much appreciated for this one. No editing notes rn, I'm not rlly feelin' it.

Warnings: None that I know of? It's just silly fluff idk what u want from me.

Masterlist link :D| Prev Part

It was 2am on a random Tuesday in Seoul. Bangchan lay staring at his ceiling for the nth time that month, silently cursing at his insomnia. He rolls over for the thousandth time to stare at his wall instead. His eyes drift his phone on the nightstand, and he idly wonders if he should spend some time teasing STAY on Bubble.

It’d definitely relieve the soul-crushing boredom of being unable to sleep, but he doesn’t really feel like receiving their well-intentioned scolding over his sleep schedule right now. He rolls back onto his back and heaves a tired sigh.

With resignation, he sits up and grabs his phone. He’d like to avoid being scolded, but receiving STAY’s love is always comforting. Vlogs and edits it is, then.

He hops onto YouTube with deft fingers and begins his latest STAY-binge. The thought of STAY’s reactions when he reminds them that he watches their stuff brings a smile to his face. They always freak out so cutely.

Soon enough, he’s zoned out and mindlessly scrolling through, giggling along to memes and watching vlogs with all the affection in his heart.

He runs out of content from the accounts he regularly watches pretty quickly. He’s only killed about 30 minutes, and even though his mood has improved significantly, he doesn’t quite feel up to going back to staring at his ceiling yet.

With a light heart, he descends into the familiar uncharted territory of his recommended feed. He manages to kill another hour or so before a particular video catches his eye.

[Learn Music Production With Me! | Cover Me by Stray Kids (English Cover) | EP.4]

The thumbnail features someone with brightly colored hair slumped over a desk, their face smooshed against the wood and their arms dangling limply beside them. Their features are obscured by a fabric mask, but bright blue tear-tracks are drawn on over top.

Bangchan can’t help but be amused by the image. He could definitely relate to the frustrations of learning music production. He actually felt a bit flattered and flustered that this person was using his music to learn from.

Officially intrigued, Chan clicks on the video.

It opens with a shot of the person from the thumbnail from the back. They’re sat at the same desk, which Chan can now see hosts a towering hutch with full shelves decked out in flower-shaped fairy lights. He spots a large section of SKZ albums tucked between other albums and books on the hutch’s shelves.

There’s a microphone on the desk, the boom arm pushed to the side, and a bulky set of headphone’s on the figure’s head. Despite the microphone’s distance from the person at the desk Chan can hear the furious clicking of a mouse as clear as day.

This scene plays out for a moment before the clicking suddenly stops and the person freezes. They slowly remove their headphones and sigh loudly. A very crisp [“Fuck!”] Takes him by surprise and he can’t help a soft laugh as the video pauses and begins to rewind.

[“So turns out I’m a big ol’ dumb-dumb and I’ve been doing this wrong this entire time.”] A voiceover begins to explain. The rewind quickly covers what Bagchan assumes is hours of work, and the voice over continues, [“Well, not wrong, per say, but I was definitely doing it the hard way. Wrong Equation right answer sort of situation. I.”] The voice chuckles ashamedly, [“I could have done this whole thing in a third of the time. I’m so embarrassed. Let me show you.”]

The rewind stops and the video switches to a different angle. The camera is obviously sitting on the desk this time, looking at the person from the side. The angle is much closer. The person waves awkwardly at the camera with both hands and rotates their chair to face it properly.

[“Hi all, I’m Grimm’sTeddy and this is episode 4 of me failing to learn how to produce music. We’re onto week 6 now, because I was quite seriously fighting with this program the entire time.”] A caption appears on the screen, [Shoulda watched more tutorials, buddy].

The video continues along the same vein for a while, a mix of Grimm talking and explaining their process while being unknowingly roasted by the occasional caption when they do something wrong. The video mostly shows the screen they’re working from, only switching back to the vlog-style camera when Grimm is being particularly dramatic about their struggles.

Around the 10 minute mark, Grimm discovers the feature of the program that triggered the reaction from the first clip. There’s a bit of grumbling and self-deprecating jokes, and then the video’s pace speeds up by quite a lot. Apparently the process is a lot less entertaining when it’s going smoothly.

Finally, 12 minutes in, the full cover is revealed.

Bangchan is, quite honestly, entranced.

There’s something almost desperate in the tone Grimm sings with, something raw and hurting. The cover is incredibly faithful to the original. They’d changed some words to preserve the melody across languages but were clever enough with it to preserve the meaning.

Bangchan finds himself impressed. Sure there are mistakes, and a lot of polish is missing, but the voice sticks in his head like glue. He goes to the channel’s page to find the first video in the series almost without thinking about it.

It turns out the video he’d watched was from several months ago, just after they’d released the song initially. There were only 2 videos after it, the series seemingly ending at episode 6.

Chan ends up watching the other 5 videos that night. He falls asleep with his phone on his chest at 5am, after making sure to leave a comment on each video.

[rainrot4me]

I have never made an ask or whatever this is called to anyone before, but I just had to send one to you. (I blame the voices in my head. I had this idea of writing something to you inside my head for the whole day, and I'm writing this right before going to sleep.)

I quite literally adore your Creepypasta works. You're seriously one of the top writers I follow here on Tumblr. There's just something captivating in the way you write the characters. I feel they truly come to life in your writing. I can literally picture each and every scenario in my head so clearly, it's crazy. I especially like how well you can describe the backgrounds, the sensations happening, and the world around the characters, it really brings the whole story together. Your world building is seriously really good. I also love how you make them more "canon". It just makes so much sense to write them in a less flattering way and show that they're damaged murderers and very complex and such, and not write them in a way where they immediately change into this sweet, non-murderous guy once they meet y/n, and everything is all sunshine and rainbows. (No hate to people who write them like that, it is sometimes my guilty pleasure to read fics like that as well lol.)

You seriously make the best types of fanfics of all, "porn with plot". Truly the elite way of writing.

You inspire me to start writing here to be honest. (Even though realistic I couldn't, cuz I can't focus on writing everything that goes on in my head without me thinking it's not good enough, cuz I can't capture each and every detail perfectly. But that's my problem lol.)

Every time I get a notification that you've posted something I get so excited to see what masterpiece you've come up with now.

But, since this is still an ask, all I ask of you is that you write more Creepypasta fanfics, mostly about the guys, cuz that's my preference personally, but I ain't obviously gonna stop you from writing about our murderer gals. And keep up the good work. Plus, please remember to take breaks and be fully rested before writing anything.

:}

Thank you so so so so so so so so much for your incredibly WONDERFUL message! It truly made my day to read your thoughts and feedback. Knowing that my Creepypasta works resonate with you and that you can vividly picture the scenarios I describe is incredibly rewarding and heartwarming 🤍🤍🤍🤍. I put a lot of effort into bringing the characters and their complex natures to life, so it's wonderful to hear that it comes through in my writing and brings such a comfort to others as well.

Your encouragement about my world-building and character development means a lot, especially since you appreciate the more canon approach I take with these idiot murderers. I so so love reading porn with plot so i want to reflect that in my own writing- it just makes it feel so much more meaningful and interesting imo!

I'm genuinely touched that I inspire you to consider writing yourself. Remember, this is a stupid fandom with stupid characters who just love what they’re doing, so don’t think that you have to portray them a certain way or write them exactly how others think they should be: make them your own, give them your own personal flare, and don’t be afraid to make them all lovey dovey if that’s what you really want. You’ll find people who appreciate you!

I'll definitely keep your request in mind and aim to write more of the boys fanfics. Your support and excitement mean the world to me, and I'll make sure to take breaks and stay rested so I can continue creating content you love. But make sure you all do as well! I can’t imagine what Id be doing without all of your love and abundant support, so thank each and every one of you for pushing me this far 🤍 Thanks again for reaching out and for your wonderful message! LOVE YOU ALL!!! 😊

[sugarphoenixlovesfanfic]

(tldr at the bottom!)

So I clicked through bookmarks for one of my fics on ao3, and I noticed that there was a familiar username. I looked through my other fics and sure enough they had bookmarked a couple other fics of mine. If I wasn't seriously flattered enough, it was then that I realized that you could subscribe to a user on ao3. You can't see exactly who subscribed to you, but you can see how many people subscribed to you under the statistics page. Six user subscriptions. Six people have willingly subscribed to my user account, are willing to be notified of whatever I post whether it's within their interest or not.

I am absolutely floored. I mean, I do have a following on tumblr which is pretty big by itself, but for me I feel like people on ao3 are a bit pickier because it's like a fanfiction website that you go to when you want to view specific fanfictions and ships and fandoms. Writers write whatever they want, which means that not all of their fanfictions may be in your interests, fandom or ship wise. The fact that there are six people who get notified when I drop a fanfiction, regardless of what it is or who it's about, is insane to me. Thank you, six strangers on the internet who are fans enough of my work that every time I post something you get an email (or similar). Thank you to that person (or persons) who keep bookmarking my works. Thank you everyone who follows me on tumblr, thank you for being interested enough in my writing to follow me and get a notification whenever I post. I am truly grateful and truly surprised to see that people like my writing. It's always been the case that people enjoy my writing, but as a writer I often compare myself to others in my field, usually when reading other people's fanfictions or original fiction or the like. A lot of the times I feel like even though I may have the skill, it is nowhere close to what others have, and I have a long way to go. Sometimes it feels like my work is mediocre, or that I'm writing drivel that is laced with too many symbolisms and metaphors that might be unnecessary and repetitive, even if it's aesthetic. Despite these feelings I post and I post and I post anyway, because I like sharing my work even if it might not be at the level of others around me. So thank you to everyone who supports me and reminds me that my work is good enough to follow, and that even if it isn't, it's worthwhile for me to keep practicing my writing until I get to where I want to be (this goes for everyone else out there writing or wanting to write). TLDR: I'm ecstatic and appreciative to find that people are supporting my writing and going so far as to subscribe to me to get notified for my writing, thank you to everyone who follows me whether here or on ao3!

[frankenfossil]

I just sat down and reread the whole comic from the beginning, and it just made me think and remember. I don’t know how long I’ve been reading it, years and years at least, and I remember starting it when I was young. I think, looking back, it’s really shaped so much of my thought process, the way I consider life and people and science and personality. I think I got a of my ideas of the concept of nuance from the discussions Dee and Emily have, and the fact that so many of them end with uncertainty, yet still continue on and on in their friendship and general lives.

And how real it all is! How it’s just a story of a life, of a girl who met something unusual and powerful and slowly came to discover that it was so much more normal and human than anyone could expect. Weeks pass as they talk, and things slowly come out to friends and family, people change and growth happens and it’s not an adventure and yet it also is, because life really is an adventure. It’s so… mundane. Death is real and he’s kind and powerful and scary and anxious, and it’s all so beautifully normal.

So I just wanted to say thank you. For creating this story and these characters, and continually sharing it one page at a time for all this time. It truly is one of—if not the—best webcomic I’ve ever come across.

What a lovely lovely message!! Thank you! I'm so moved and flattered ;_;

I am glad that the fact that having them slowly talk stuff over and rarely come to any specific conclusion is compelling lmao. I do feel it's an important thing to do and I'm really committed to this story that has turned out to often be about grappling with unknowable and unresolvable things and living life anyway. Along with love and friendship! I'm just so humbled and appreciative of everyone who wants to come on this journey with me. And you wrote such a beautiful description ;_; (I have to write another blurb for book 2 and blurbs are. My ultimate nemesis...)

Just... thank you so so much!! And I hope you continue to enjoy the story and where it goes <3 <3 <3 <3

[transmutationisms]

where do you start when you wanna research specific topics? like is google scholar any useful? are there any sites that you find trustworthy or something? im bad at finding online sources and give up easily, any advice is appreciated

depends what question(s) i'm trying to answer. google scholar gives you anything and everything written that remotely pertains ro a topic, with basically no human curation. that's helpful if you want to know, like, what is the scope of how people have talked about or conceptualised this issue? on the other hand, if you have a more targeted question or you want to narrow down your reading to people who have worked up expertise on a specific topic or question, google scholar will cost you a lot of time and effort. same goes for my library's database search tbh. one thing i like to do is start by going to academic journals that cover the subtopic i'm looking for. you can find these journal names through a jstor search if you don't know them offhand. if the journals had any special issues recently, that might be something to look at; i'll also check whether a few names keep popping up as contributors, and maybe start with those people. the journal editors are typically scholars who write in that field as well. if i have one or two papers or books to start with, i'll often raid their footnotes: again, i'm looking for major sources, repeated names, &c. once i've read a few different things i have a better sense of what keywords might get me useful results, even in larger/less curated databases like google scholar. if i truly have literally no idea where to start on a topic, i just ask someone i know writes or reads a lot in that subfield. usually people are flattered to be asked lol and are more than happy to shoot you a list of faves or major recs, which you can then use to find other stuff and get oriented in a topic.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Hey, so I saw your post about some fics demonizing Neytiri. That has actually been one of my major fears as a fic writer, attempting to balance Neytiri's extremely valid trauma and the POV I'm writing from (that is typically flawed in some way). I was wondering, since you seem very well-versed on the topic, what do you define as "demonizing" for Neytiri? Is it ok to write from a perspective where a character doesn't really like or trust her, as long as the trauma is noted? Do you have any resources so I can educate myself to properly write this kind of character?

I really want to make sure I'm doing right by Neytiri and improve as a fic writer overall, so any advice you could offer would be very much appreciated!

Whoa, what a complicated and nuanced question. A great one! And I'm super flattered you came to me! Just one I'm going to try to answer to the best of my ability. I'm assuming you're referring to Norm's pov in your fic?

First of all, I do not want to at all proclaim to be an expert on generational trauma; I am not a person of color, and I have been lucky enough to have a very normal and healthy family. I just had a best friend growing up in an abusive household and took steps to educate myself best I could to understand the situation, which I believe anyone would do. So I'm just gonna try to word vomit out my thoughts for you, please ask questions or challenge any of what I say if any of you see anything you think is incorrect. Buckle in, this will be long.

What do you define as "demonizing" for Neytiri?

Demonizing means portraying someone as wicked or threatening, as evil or worthy of contempt and blame.

For me, demonizing for Neytiri is the trend I've seen lately of portraying her as this unyielding, animalistic type character who's hatred of humans, Spider specifically, goes so far that she gets physically violent with Spider and eventually ends up tearing apart her family. In these fics, Jake is always a sad sack loser bystander, loving his wife too much to step in but of course shamefully knowing how wrong what she's doing is. Infantilizing poor white savior Jake Sully, being brow beaten by his mean indigenous wife into neglecting a child is a weirdly strong take in this fandom. Often Mo'at is a wise elder chiding Neytiri for being unable to get over her prejudice. Mo'at and Jake understand Neytiri as much as anyone would, they wouldn't shame her. To me, it's an extremely reductive and frankly borderline racist characterization. When paired with a sympathetic view of Quaritch, it is at best irresponsible and at worst knowingly dangerous.

Neytiri is representative of an indigenous woman. I feel like I don't have to explain why making her violent, volatile, and completely unreasonable is a little bit of a harmful caricature. In these fics, for me, Neytiri ceases to be a person. She looses autonomy to sort of represent this monolith of hatred and prejudice that has hurt our little baby boy Spider. It's crazy to me that people can't apply the exact same empathy they have towards Spider (saving Quaritch) to Neytiri (not being able to trust Spider). They are the most foil of foil characters. Their storylines are extremely similar, if I'm being honest. Essentially, ignoring the fact that Neytiri is a member of a minority community being actively genocided by Spider's people is intentionally reductive. If you can empathize with Spider, and ESPECIALLY if you find Quaritch sympathetic, finding Neytiri's actions unforgivable is racism, plain and simple.

Also, side note, the lengths people go to where Neytiri just literally will not budge under any circumstances at all is INSANE.

(I read a fic the other day where she gave Spider to child protective services behind everyone's back. That's LUNACY. She only came around after she almost lost Tuk when Tuk was suddenly born prematurely and Mo'at came in and was like "Eywa made it so you can never have kids again because of what you did, have you learned your lesson yet?" Like?? I do not understand the HATRED some of ya'll have for her, the suffering you all think she deserves. She's having an EXTREMELY NORMAL trauma reaction to surviving GENOCIDE? Examine yourselves greatly).

But where I was going was Neytiri is the same character who pushed her parents to let them go to human school, fell in love with human Jake, defended him and trusted him despite her family, mated with him and lost her religious position because of it, and then had a bunch of part human kids with him, and adopted a fully freak of nature kid born of a human she loved and respected. She has human friends, she wears and uses human tech, and she forgave Jake after he had betrayed them. Basically what I'm saying is Neytiri, despite her continuous trauma, is the most open and curious and non traditional Na'vi of all time. Girl is READY to meet new people and learn new shit, and to be open to everyone. Sometimes I think about a no trauma Neytiri and I get emotional. I think it's crazy to say she would never budge on Spider, if it wasn't for his dad I'm pretty sure she would've softened lonnnnng ago, if not having liked him from the get go.

Um, that got way too long I have too many thoughts. Second half of your question.

Is it ok to write from a perspective where a character doesn't really like or trust her, as long as the trauma is noted?

This is a tricky question, because technically there is nothing you can't do as a writer. Of course, it also means there is nothing anyone can't criticize you for writing. Like, Colleen Hoover can say she's writing realistic depictions of domestic abuse until the cows come home, I'm still going to say she's romanticizing and normalizing it in a super callous way. Neither of us can stop the other. So yeah, of course you're okay to write from the perspective of a character that doesn't like Neytiri. I just think the point will be what your prerogative is. One of my MFA professors says it in a way I like and I'm sure I've referenced before, if you aren't trying to make a point about something that might have to have a trigger warning then don't include it. I always say I would take it a step further; if your point is to defend that thing, don't do it. So for me, my big points would be try not to project my own feelings onto the character either way; if the character is wrong about something and the narrative intends to show that they will either learn, or we the reader will grow past them. But to be sure what you feel the takeway of the piece is is what you wanted it to be, I guess.

Do you have any resources so I can educate myself to properly write this kind of character?

Well, I have a few on white writers writing BIPOC characters and the ethics of that if you're interested in that. But I don't have any on specifically writing generational trauma. I guess I'd say reading and absorbing are my biggest tools; so reading books/watching movies or TV that use the speculative to translate generational trauma, and learning about and taking in the real life examples the character is based on. Read up on some genocides, and indigenous people today and how their lives are still affected. Even just watch the news; we're witnessing a very public genocide being pushed right to our attention right now. And of course, that is not the only genocide happening rn, it's just the only one we're talking about, so there's plenty of real world case studies unfortunately right in front of us.

[turtlecleric]

waddles into your inbox and does the Nicholas Cage steepling hand meme

Ok friend, I gotta bone to pick with you. Respectfully of course.

Now I ain't much of an 18+ reader, not really my gig ya know. I ain't too comfortable with it, so you're probably asking then why are you reading it?

Well friend, let me tell you. Because it makes me think. Your stories specifically. Many a times I've had to put my phone down and I've been caught by my roommates with the most intense look on my face.

My friend once said that something is considered art if it makes you feel something, anything, whether good or bad. And let me tell ya Miss Cleric, you've certainly got me feeling somethings.

You certainly have a gift with words as well as speed (like dang sis how you write so fast so much?!) and you use them most expertly, and to that I tip my hat at you.

I hope that you take care of yourself and remember that you are valued and appreciated just as you are ok honey? You don't have to do anything to work or earn love. You are worth loving and experiencing simply by existing mkay? 🧡🙌🏼

Also, if and only if you're feeling up for it just because I need some closure, can we get a part 2 of the recent Rise Raph snippet? I really wanna see how Raph responds when he finds out what happens and how it goes down when Y/N gets out of surgery. Like I would love to see the recovery trauma of having to talk to someone close to you, even when it wasn't necessarily their fault

Or I’d love to see your twist on using hypnotism, but if and only if you’re feeling up to it. If not and if this is too forward then I totally understand.

Just make sure to take care of yourself ok? 🧡

Oh my goodness gracious y'all are really spoiling me with these sweet messages!! I'm so so so glad people are enjoying what I'm putting out there!! Thank you for reading and for being so kind 😭 I'm endlessly flattered that people think my writing is good. And the fact that I can make you think, make you feel things... man. That's like. The dream. To do that with my writing. So hearing that I'm succeeding - that makes me really, really happy. Thank you smmmm 🥰

I don't feel like I write very much or very fast tbh 😅 took me about a week to write I Know Now, for example, which wasn't even a full 3K. But uh. Being obsessed with the turtles and getting ideas that I really like does help a lot I won't lie lol

I'm trying my best to take care of myself! Not always succeeding but trying at least! You're so sweet 🥺🥺🥺 thank you. And this is true for you as well!! We're all worthy of love 💕 even when it doesn't feel like it. (Pounding this into my own head)

Ahhh Raphie boy. I really put him and reader through it. I would like to maybe write a second part, but if I do, it won't be for a while. It's such a hard topic, and it took me hours upon hours to write part one. It is on my mind though, to write a part two. When I get the time, energy, motivation, etc. And oh my GOD. Hypnotism........... Donnie recording Hypno's power and figuring out how to tweak that and use it in the bedroom... or even some kind of dead dove fic involving hypnotism... oh I would love to tackle that... [stares at my current pile of WIPs and winces] at some point...

Side bar- When did I become the type of person who has multiple WIPs??? I can't believe this. [Points at turtle fam] This is all YOUR fault!! /j /lh

I will try to take care of myself!! I hope you do the same!! Thank you again for the sweet ask. I will definitely be thinking about a part two for Raph. If you want, you can subscribe to that fic on my ao3 so that you're notified if I post a part 2! (Same username - I just made it this weekend! Haven't finished putting everything up yet, but What Did I Do? is already there!)

Anyway!! Thanks again!! 😊💕 I hope you're having a good night!!

[akalikai]

Hello! I just finished reading "Are You Mr. Schadenfreude?" on Ao3! And dare i say it is the best fic I've ever read yet, LIKE I'M NOT KIDDING the amount of suspense, thriller and horror.. I was at the edge of my seat and not to mention how well written the whole story is and the lore itself is just so 😩😩😩.. I am not familiar with vocaloid and even the music video (sorry!) itself but I did watch it just after reading the fic and how impressed I was that you came up with your own version and even wrote it in a MONTH 80k words and all, kudos to you <3.

I was having goosebumps throughout reading the fic! I LOVE the dynamic between wonhan and especially I've been addicted their 'This Man' album since it was released and how they were stuck together like glue and the moments they share together was adorable and as a jeonghan biased myself (i have 6 biases actually hehe) i love every bit of it and I fell in love with the characters and the fic itself. Another thing I'd like to point out is the way you portrayed their relationships that can be interpreted as romantic and/or platonic so that readers can enjoy more of the story. Aside from wonhan, i also adored the dynamic each members have with each other and then there's verkwan VERKWAN FOR THE WIN! I was devastated when both of them died and I was awestruck to find out that seungkwan did it to avoid vernon from suffering the same fate with the others and that my friends is love and if that's not love I don't know what is. I was saddened that all of them have met their deaths whether they were murdered or have ended themselves BUUUUUT HELLO THE PLOT TWIST??? I was clearly not expecting for wonwoo to wake up and then it goes back to beginning but then I understand it was his turn to break the cycle like wonwoo was the real mvp here, basically the whole story was supposed to be in hoshi's timeline but man's was sidetracked and ended getting killed earlier in the story (still love him tho but a huge facepalm for him). At the beginning of the fic I was caught off guard that jun had died immediately like it was so sudden but I was pleasantly surprised to find him still alive the end and was working below the church to try and help his friends and speaking of the devil... I really can't put my finger on it but since the beginning I've been very suspicious of minghao, but I did suspect either jeonghan or wonwoo to be the devil but I was more suspicious of minghao and the scream I let out when it was actually him who the was the devil though I have to admit it was pretty conflicting but in a good way lol.

It was fun spotting easter eggs all throughout the fic that connects with gose and for real though the fic was definitely a mix of bad clue, don't lie and ego as the og lore is similar to a mafia game and I absolutely ADORE how you came up with your twist. I'm gonna be honest it was the BEST read, I've been so invested in a fic before like how invested I was in the fic and not to mention the endless roller coaster of emotions I've read throughout, you really did pour all your hard work on this one and I really really appreciate it!!! ('appreciate' is an understatement) There are a lot more words to say but I think I'll stop here, I've been rambling too much lol. Please excuse my English as it's not my mother tongue.

HELLO???? OMG THIS IS SO SWEET IM GONNA SCREAM

I'm so flattered oh my lord I was kicking my feet and giggling as I read this you're SO sweet

I'll be totally honest, there was one specific scene that really made me want to write this and I actually drew it here. This was the catalyst for this whole fic I saw this scene and I was like "wonhan. i need to draw wonhan like this" and yeah here we are. honestly I was NOT expecting it to be like 88k, I thought I'd have barely enough for 30k 😭😭

Wonhan has been a new recent obsession for me (same as you, This Man really made me go OH HELLO WONHAN) their dynamic reminds me a lot of a ship I like (wangxian from MDZS, jeonghan reminds me of wei wuxian and wonwoo reminds me of lan wangji). I actually wrote a wonhan fic based on wonhan (and I'm gonna add a chapter to it soon as well ehehe)

Writing their relationships as ambiguous was so nice as an aroace person who feels strong feelings that aren't entirely romantic but not platonic either. Jeonghan-biases unite, as I was writing it I literally went "if I'm in love with him, everyone is in love with him". Verkwan are sooooo they're so soulmates (in whatever way)

Wonwoo being the one to figure it out is kind of like him in Ego because he figured out almost everything but he just got caught by the time limit. If it weren't for that, I think Wonwoo could have figured it out.

As for Jun, I really love seeing his caring side because he cares SO MUCH for the members. That's why I wrote him quietly helping his friends because that reminds me of him in the early days, even when he couldn't communicate, he was always silently helping everyone.

As for Myungho, I wanted to channel the energy he had in Bad Clue because the final confrontation between him and Mingyu was sooooo like it had me SWEATING. But at the same time, I couldn't make him ACTUALLY want to hurt his friends, Myungho would never do that. Hence the binding ritual ending I came up with. But I'm so glad you like my plot twists!!

The Easter eggs were my favorite part everytime I wrote one I was giggling a little bit.

Thank you so much, seriously, I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much, especially since I think this was probably one of my favorite fics I've written, so it makes me so happy that you like it so much!!

(Idk how much svt I will write other than my ongoing kpopfic Only You and adding a chapter to my wonhan fic, but I'm glad you enjoyed this!)

[burnin0akleaves]

Alright. I am no coward. I ain't gonna hide behind anon mask. I am sending this ask so everyone can see what I wanna say.

This community doesn't have as many artists, because we're not very large fandom, and each and everyone is precious to me. That goes out to fanartists, fanfic writers, mood board creators, craft creators (you all should check out Millie's RA crochet work) and others.

But today I wanna focus on you Howls. I appreciate your art very very much. Before I rejoined, I lurked around and your art was one of the things that made me smile. It still is. You have no idea how much eager I am always for notification "burnin0akleaves just posted a photo".

I love how heartfelt your art is. Every line you do is drawn with love for what you do (or horniness for Will Treaty, I love both). And that is the most beautiful thing about your art to me. I can feel your smile and enthusiasm in every piece you do. And I don't think it's just me. I think it applies to a lot of people. Not only do you supply us with beautiful art but also with the love that seeps from every brush of the pen.

To me, your RA art is one of the most fundamental and it creates beautiful memories for me of this fandom. And your RA is something absolutely ethereal and I recommend EVERYONE to go check out your other art. (Y'all just crush into Howls' dms like doom truck, he'll be happy)

I love your style so much. I love how you can combine strong expressive lineart with smooth brushes when rendering. I love the way your characters' eyes are always so alive, so expressive, so full of soul. And I absolutely adore the ingenuity of your art, the ideas you have. I admire your art so much and it makes me really happy to coexist in this space next to an artist such as yourself.

To me, you're intergral part of fanart soul of this fandom and I am so much honoured to be part of it when you're here.

I'm literally so dumbfounded right now I don't know what to say. This is one the sweetest messages a person has ever taken the time out of their day to write to me, which makes perfect sense actually considering how sweet you are as a person. Literally one of the kindest and most caring people I have ever met if not THE kindest and most caring person I know. I look up to you so much both as a human being and as an artist and it makes me so happy to be one of your close friends. I'm extremely flattered. Blushing a little. Maybe shaking and sobbing too who knows.

Thank you so much for the ask. Normally I'd be too embarrased to post this for everyone to see considering I'm not too good with compliments but I really like the things you said about the fandom and I kind of want others to read it too.

[starrierknight]

̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ 𝐅𝐀𝐐 ❜ ┊˚

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: I ignore asks/comments where the following questions have already been answered.

⋆ ˚｡⋆┊𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 — 𝐁𝐘𝐅┊⋆ ｡˚⋆

⋆ ˚｡★ "why do you write?"

I started writing because I couldn't find anything tailored exactly to my preferences as a reader!

Generally speaking, I like reading content that challenges me or gives me something to mull over, and I adore long, descriptive prose. I love flexing my vocabulary and being a total nerd for writing techniques. So, now, I make it my business to write things that will challenge me as a reader and as a writer.

Additionally, as a non-binary person, I can have a hard time finding fics where the reader insert isn't gendered. So, I wanted this blog and my writing to be for people like me to enjoy themselves without the dysphoria jump scares lol.

⋆ ˚｡★ "how long have you been writing?"

While I created 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 on 17/08/23, I actually started writing back in mid-April of 2020 on @starrierknight-main.

I was a Harry Potter enthusiast (rip) and also fifteen. You can probably still find old bits and pieces of my old HP writing there, but I wouldn't recommend any of it lmao.

⋆ ˚｡★ "why don't you post content more often?"

As you know, my writing style is anything but simple—it’s layered with stylistic nuances and thematic depth, which is why it’s so uniquely mine and why I find such joy in crafting it. Naturally, this means that producing a piece takes time, effort, and dedication. Every story I write goes through a thoughtful process: developing the premise, meticulous planning, fact-checking, drafting, editing, beta reading, more editing, proofreading, and finally, formatting. This process is my hobby—my true passion—and posting is simply not a core part of that journey.

I write for my own fulfilment. I post for you.

No matter how many eyes are on my work, I’ll keep writing because, ultimately, this is my personal joy, not some assembly-line production geared toward chasing trends or quick reads. When my writing gets reduced to the term "content," it feels like all the time, heart, and energy I pour into it is diminished. It becomes less about the craftsmanship and more about the consumption—and that’s not what I’m here for.

I don’t get paid to write, and with the current landscape, I rarely even get reblogged! Sure, it’s nice when the numbers go up and I catch the algorithm’s eye for a moment, but that’s not what drives me. If it were, I’d churn out simple, easy-to-consume pieces week after week—short drabbles, snappy fics, and NSFW posts designed for quick engagement. But that’s not me. I don’t enjoy writing that way, and frankly, I’m not good at it.

If volume and quantity are what you're after, the tags are full of talented writers who excel at delivering frequent, punchy pieces—support them, follow them, reblog them!

But if it’s my style of writing you love, then I encourage you to support me or pick up a book. My inspiration comes from the rich world of literature, from real, published wordsmiths who craft stories to be savoured, just like I do. If you appreciate my writing, I promise you’ll find even more to love in those pages.

So, please, for the love of everything meaningful, don’t reduce my work to “content.” It’s not a product meant to be mindlessly consumed—it’s an experience meant to be digested, reflected upon, and enjoyed slowly.

⋆ ˚｡★ "how do you think of your ideas? what inspires you?"

Most of the time they come to me spontaneously or from things I encounter on a day-to-day basis. That being said, I draw plenty of stylistic/thematic inspiration from published writers and music.

A good example of this would be looking at the epigraph I include at the start of every fic!

⋆ ˚｡★ "can I take inspiration from your writing?" inspiration: the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

I'm inclined to say no, even if you include credit.

On the one hand, I'm incredibly flattered that anyone would be interested/inspired by my writing! It means a lot to me! On the other, I encourage individualism and creativity as much as I can.

Obviously, I don't own the characters I write for, nor do I own character + scenarios (e.g. Gojo Satoru + Coffee Shop AU). In writing, and especially in fanfiction, ideas and characters will circulate, and there will be plenty of writers creating their own works with the same concept(s) but different approaches/interpretations.

This is nothing new—writers have been doing this for centuries—and I have no issues with this.

However: A lot of the AUs I have written/plan to write are my own original concept, and so I do feel a sense of 'ownership' over them. I have various projects in the works (that are secret + a surprise) that I would rather no one took inspiration from.

At a later date, once they are published on this blog, I'll link them here. For now, I apologise for the elusive answer lol.

Instead, I suggest looking at the epigraphs I include, and maybe you'll draw inspiration from those sources just like I did ❤︎

⋆ ˚｡★ "can I write a continuation of one of your fics/series?"

Under absolutely any circumstances: No.

⋆ ˚｡★ "will you ever write for a fandom that's not Jujutsu Kaisen?"

It's not out of the question, but it's not on the cards right now.

Although I'm a part of other fandoms, JJK is a special interest of mine, and will (likely) always be my priority. I'm most confident writing for JJK characters because I 'know' them best and understand the JJK fictional universe best.

Plus, JJK is my favourite fandom out of all the ones I'm in, and it's important to me that I write about things I enjoy.

⋆ ˚｡★ "will you ever write for dom!characters/sub!readers?"

I would sooner gnaw through my own leg!

More power to all writers/readers who enjoy that content! Personally, I don't enjoy writing/reading it, so this blog will never produce it.

⋆ ˚｡★ "what are your writing DON'Ts?"

dark content: rape/non-con, paedophilia, loli/shotacon, feederism, incest and "-cest" variations, age play, bestiality, raceplay, necrophilia, eating disorders, domestic abuse, daddy issues

nsfw: scat/piss/vomit/farts, pregnancy/breeding, choking (receiving), spit play (receiving), degradation (receiving), anal (receiving), lactation, oviposition, gimp suits, tentacles, omegaverse, daddy kink, reader insert sucking peepee

sfw: reader or characters with children, childbirth, pregnancy, coffee shop AUs

readers: sub!readers, female!readers, male!readers, AMAB!readers, [ethnicity]!readers

⋆ ˚｡★ "what are your writing DOs? what are some of your favourite things to write?"

dark content: dub-con & free use, (symbolic) cannibalism, sacrilege, graphic violence, major character death, suicidal imagery/thoughts, allusions to self-harm, (some) mental health issues, yandere, allusions to abuse, mommy issues

nsfw: sub!top characters, dacryphilia, brats & brat taming, S&M, exhibitionism, pain and impact play, restraints, collaring & leashes, knife play, cum & spit play, fisting, edging, overstimulation, praise & degradation, frottage, mommy kink, role reversal (e.g. dom!maid x sub!master), enemies with benefits, rivals with benefits

sfw: forbidden love, vampirism, historical AUs, kneeling, pining & yearning & longing, domestic/romcom worthy fluff, enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers, meet-uglies

readers: dom!readers, gn!readers, AFAB!readers

⋆ ˚｡⋆┊𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 — 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃?┊⋆ ｡˚⋆

⋆ ˚｡★ "how do you make your theme? what apps do you use?"

Pinterest for images, PicsArt for editing, IBIS Paint for cool fonts.

⋆ ˚｡★ "can I take inspiration from your theme?"

Sure! Just keep it within the bounds of 'inspiration' rather than copying.

Black & white themes are pretty common, so keep in mind that it's in your best interest to make your blog 'concept' as unique to you as you can.

⋆ ˚｡★ "what does your URL mean? how do you pronounce it?"

pronunciation: starry-er-night

Well, if you haven't already guessed, I really love stars. I also happen to love Van Gogh's painting, 'Starry Night', and wanted it to be in reference to that.

When I was tryna think of a URL, I first tried "starrystarrynight", but it was taken. I tried out a load of variations before landing on 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. Honestly, I think my current URL is cooler than what I originally wanted.

⋆ ˚｡★ "what does your blog title mean?"

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” ― William Shakespeare, The Tempest

If you've read any of my NSFW writing, you'll be able to see that my reader inserts are often sadistic!doms that make sub!characters cry for their enjoyment. This blog produces and has followers who interact with its dark content which may be considered "hellish" for those who aren't "devils". See what I did there?

Also, I love writing angst and putting characters (and readers) through their paces, i.e. my writing will give you a reason call me a devil, since it's anything but pure.

⋆ ˚｡★ "why don't you respond to anon hate?"

Simply put, I have no interest in entertaining losers who feel like coming onto an (erotic) anime fanfiction blog and harassing me. I don't see the point in encouraging negativity, nor do I want people to see me and think, "Oh, well clearly this person falls for bait."

"...but what if they make a valid point?"

In which case, they can come off anon and send me an ask or DM me, and we can talk about it like adults. Because this is, y'know, an 18+ blog. If you act like a child here, then I'll treat you like one―you'll get blocked.

"...but it's funny!"

Is it, though? So, what? So, I can waste my time mulling over clever responses to post and you can pat me on the back and say, "Well done, Reece! You really showed them who's boss!" As if anyone here gives enough shits lmao.

⋆ ˚｡⋆┊𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 — 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎┊⋆ ｡˚⋆

⋆ ˚｡★ "do you have any other accounts?"

➸ follows & interactions: @starrierknight-main

➸ fic recs: @stars-and-scrolls

⋆ ˚｡★ "can we be mutuals?"

Drop me a line and see! Broadly speaking, I'm pretty picky about what blogs I follow.

If I don't respond to an ask requesting to be mutuals, there's no hard feelings. I don't have anything against you personally, we just likely wouldn't have much in common.

Even if we don't end up being mutuals, I'm sure I'd still love to chat to you if you send me asks ❤︎

[artekai]

tag game (Horizon)

Thanks @nerd-artist for tagging me!! I am flattered :3

1. ride or die ship (your otp): GAIA/Lis ❤️ I felt so validated when Sylens said the "two moms" thing, you have no idea.

2. most annoying ship: I plead the fifth

3. second favourite ship: Erevad! I never considered them until I read a really good fic about them and I was sold lol.

4. favourite platonic relationship: Hmm 🤔 I really enjoy Aloy & Sylens :D I missed him a lot in HFW (given he wasn't in our Focus any longer). mlm-wlw hostility real. Also, Aloy & Gildun and Aloy & Morlund are both very sweet but I suppose they have similar vibes lol.

5. underrated ship: Any of the ones I mentioned lol, I feel like they don't get as much love as others, haha. Which is understandable because it makes sense to gravitate more towards the GAIA gang! But other than that 🤔 I think Aloy/Zo and Aloy/Alva are pretty cute and underrated, even if I don't exactly ship them myself c:

6. overrated ship: I plead the fifth

7. one thing i would change in canon: *side eyes HFW hard*

Just one thing, though? I'd have to concur with most of the people I've seen do this tag game so far and say it's Varl's death. I'm pissed about that.

8. something canon did right: Other people have also mentioned it before me, but I think Horizon's writing excels at the datapoints. Just slowly having to figure out the past, putting the pieces together, getting glimpses of the tragedies (and the little joys) that once happened in those places, filling in the blanks... The environmental storytelling is amazing 👌. The intrigue, the curiosity, the mystery. It really scratches the urge to explore abandoned places and imagine what it was life was like for the people who once lived in them, so close yet so far away. HZD really did it well with the Zero Dawn facilities and I think HFW captured that magic again with Thebes. I crave more of that.

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: I'm not sure I can say anything I make is "for the fandom" since I only make OC stuff 😭 Believe me, I want to be more integrated in the fandom, but not as much as I want to focus on the blorbos from my brain 😔

I guess I can mention To Err is Human, my vampire AU fic, since, if all goes according to plan, that should be relatively fairly split between my OCs and canon characters. Sorry that it's taken me so long to update tho :( As for art, please look at my man :) And here he is again with my favorite Aloy I've drawn lol. I also still really like this one! Also this. And this. And this. And

I've realized I could go on all day actually so I'll stop myself now lol.

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Sylens. I love him, crimes and all.

11. the character I relate to the most and why: Beta. Something something about characters who have the same neuroses as you but in their world their neuroses are justified (sigh). And Gildun! His quest in Burning Shores really grabbed me by the throat, oof. In some ways I also relate to Aloy but not as much, I think.

12. character(-s) i hate the most and why: Well, I could just name the usuals, Ted Faro, the Ceo, Lansra, etc. But they're the characters we're meant to hate, so, ironically, it doesn't feel right to say I hate them, you know? I appreciate a well-crafted villain, and I definitely appreciate their role in the narrative. So, do I really hate them? Yes but actually no.

It's like that one post that goes "I don't care if a villain is redeemable or not but by god please make them interesting." I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit insane about the likes of Faro and the Ceo lol, so I'd say they did their job. I actually enjoy them being in the narrative.

As for the Zeniths... I used to just hate them straight up, not just for what we're meant to hate them, but for what they did to the narrative. I then started my quick descent into madness until I came to love to hate them lol. But I still think they deserve this spot more than anyone else given that they still make me see red half of the time.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: uhhhhh I'm not sure? Interesting to see the differences between the Persona fandom and the Horizon fandom I guess. In a lot of ways they have the same issues all fandoms have but idk, it's different. I'll leave it at that.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I don't really read as much fic as I would like to because of readers' block... But when I do, I feel like I tend to look for Beta-centric stuff. And Nemesis stuff hehe but there's very little of that. I feel like, at least in this fandom, I tend to gravitate more towards genfic instead of ship-heavy stuff. Those aren't three tags but still three things so fair enough.

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: I have a few playlists but I'm not sure any songs in particular jump out to me as much as Sad Machine by Porter Robinson, which has been my quintessential Horizon song from the moment I finished HZD. It still gives me the same chills that going through ELEUTHIA-9 gave me... God, I really wish I could go back to when I was first playing it and experience that feeling again. I might actually cry listening to it now.

Tagging: @banukaihelpme, @cicadaknight, @thatpunnyperson, @snorkeldays and @hartlesshart, but absolutely no pressure to do it! I guess this is more of a [insert your fandom here] thing, so, for any other mutuals who see this, if you wanna do it for your fandom, please tag me as your tagger, I would love to see it 🙏

[suhnshinehaos]

Hello~~~ <333 *deep breath*

Ahbfbladdkjslmknehfnj here goes!!! I've been wanting to shoot you a message for months now but I kept backing out because I felt a little too shy aaaaahhhh >_<

First off: how are you? :D I hope you're eating well, drinking enough water, and telling your reflection you're amazing every day!

Second off: oh my gosh I absolutely adore you 💕💕💕💕

As someone who's extremely sensitive to ✨f e e l s✨ I just want to say that I love the vibes you put out because they genuinely make me feel so warm! Each time I read something you posted, not just your works- even if it's a replies and life update(?), I'm smiling from ear to ear because your vibes are so positive~~~! From your fics to the layout of your blog, everything is just spring sunshine~🌻 Even the sad bits aren't hopeless, like yes, they're sad, but even those parts translate to this hurts, but something better awaits- to my mind, at least! I aspire to radiate such vibrant positivity that you seem to emit

I just wanted to say thank you for brightening my days and making me smile~~!! I'm so glad I stumbled into your blog~~!! I hope you know that there's a girl in an obscure corner of the world who looks up to you a great deal and hopes that everything works out for you just the way you want it to~~~!!!

Spamming you with bouquets because I can't buy you a thank-you bouquet for making me happy: 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Spamming you with hearts because affection doesn't have a tangible form: 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I'm sorry if this is too long a message aaaahhhh I just had a lot to express 🥺 Sorry and thank you, bye-byeeee~~~ Lots of love, Fae~!🍀 xoxo

omg hiii !! you're too kind, my heart feels so warm and i'm so flattered by all your nice words. it's been a long day for me, and this just made it so much better.

thank you for taking the time to write this and reminding me one of the reasons why i started this blog, and continued writing for it, in the first place. while i love svt/nct and writing for them, i've also wanted to give everyone a corner of the internet to go to for some warmth and comfort.

this is so appreciated fae, thank you for this. truly. there are not enough words in the english language to fully encapsulate what i'm feeling right now.

sending you so much love back <3

[cellophaine]

Hello. I wanted to come on here to rant (airing my grievance, if you will) and give you an update on my projects (if you're here for the update, scroll way down until you see a partition).

I'm still alive, unfortunately, but I haven't been online much since I've been co-existing with my deteriorating mental health. I have come to the acceptance that the prolonged sadness I get year-round is not just sadness anymore. Besides, work has been more demanding, I've been working more days with longer hours last week, and I couldn't find time to write and edit LA's new chapter. Which brings me to this point: I haven't been too thrilled about updating LA because of my expectations.

It always goes like this: I'm excited to see the engagement on the update, but the chapter gets none, and I get disappointed, then I get no motivation to continue the story, but I still keep it going out of sheer stubbornness to see my story till the end, and at the end, I'm unhappy about everything. The last chapter is sitting at 58 notes with no comment, which is better than 51 notes prior to the delete and changes.

I get why Lingered Affection doesn't get much attention anymore. I don't update it often enough, the storyline is not compelling enough. I have no one to blame but myself. At this point, I'm just wasting my own time investing in a story that no one cares but me. But who knows? Maybe the next chapter will get more than 58 notes because it has smut in it.

That brings me to my next point: to this day, I still get likes on one particular smut piece that I wrote 10 months ago. I literally get almost one like every day ever since I posted that. Like, not note, because I can count the amount of reblog on one finger ever since I noticed the "trend" in my notification a month ago. This makes me really question if it's worth it to branch out, to continue other stories when it's obvious that no one cares about those.

All I get in my ask box are requests, even though I said I'm not accepting requests. While I'm flattered that you like my writing enough to send in something, I'm also tired and burned out from just writing requests. I got no appreciation, not even a thank you, even though I wrote your ideas for you for free. All I get is notes upon notes saying someone liked your post enough to maybe save it but not enough to say something about it.

There is one good thing that came out of this situation. I'm desensitized to the fact that no one cares anymore unless I work on their requests, whether I'm alive or dead, whether the fic I write is interesting or good unless it has smut in it. I'm not online much, I don't get validation and that's okay. I'm just going to write whatever I want, for whoever I want.

Onto the update:

I have an IRL project that will take up a lot of my time during August and the beginning of September. I'm also going back to my home country for the first time in nearly 5 years for over two weeks, at the end of September to the middle of October! I'm super excited to see my family and friends, and eat a shit ton of traditional food that I've missed so much! Overall, I might not have much time to So, here are my plans:

Chapter 15 of Lingered Affection will be up sometime in August, after that, I'm aiming for a monthly update.

I'm debuting a new series this fall with a new character: Mo from The Flatshare! It will be grumpy x sunshine, a slow romance with angst and feels and fluff! I have a really solid foundation for the story and I can't wait to share it with you!

Matt Notting Hill AU will be out sometime later this year!

If you're still reading, thank you for reading my rant and even if you didn't read it, I hope the update was sufficient and gave you an idea of what to expect from my shit hole of a blog 🫡

On the bright side: I'M SEEING CHARLIE THIS MONTH WOOP WOOP CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM IN PERSON!!

[grollow]

I have a question, how does writing stories work exactly? Like do you just picture what you want to happen and think of the right words to describe it? It seems so confusing and illogical to me but your writing is fantastic so i presume you'd understand how it happens

This ask is at once the most flattering thing that I have received in ages and also the hardest question in the world to answer. Part of me is manifesting Grimm's skitter ability to scuttle away. :'D

This is long so I am gonna tuck it under a Read More.

Creativity is different for everyone and how we go about it is also different. Some people have ideas for scenes (sometimes mental pictures, sometimes it's just a quote or a single sentence -- it varies), plan out the specific scenes they want, and then work to connect them together with story. Other people have a clear vision of their plot from the get-go and then just let it go.

Writing is an art form like any other and what works for one person may not work for others. Typically the best way to learn how to do it is just. To open a document and start typing. It sounds cliche but that's really just how it goes. You start typing and eventually get an idea of where you're going, or you end up with 900 started-but-not-finished WIPs, and both are legitimately fine.

In my specific case, my writing process typically consists of having [1] specific scene pop into my head, that I go "I want to write an entire story around this scene." I build around it. For my narratively-driven fics (such as Eyes, Butterfly Effect to a lesser degree, White and Gray and Red Sky), I outline super, super heavily, and I don't even start the fic until I know how I plan to end it because otherwise I'm going to go all over the place with it.

For my less narratively written stuff (Living Dead, Gently), I usually have bullet points of things I want to accomplish and then just. Write until i get there. I find that those stories tend to be a little more organic but also a little more rambly, less cohesive (but not necessarily in a bad way, I also think they are 'lighter' to read).

I have journals upon journals of things like:

Random quotes that I want to use in different fics (I get quote ideas/dialogue stuff a lot, especially for Red Sky)

Mental pictures that I like (I have been doodling more to try and give new ideas)

Setting + location ideas (this is applicable to original works and red sky mostly but still)

On PC I have docs that are called: Outlining BS, Random Snippets, "God Grimm do you ever shut up" (does he?), Everything Burns Setting, and some others. That are just. Stuff I shoved somewhere to help for inspiration.

Anyway, this turned out really long, so the TLDR:

Sometimes it's mental pictures. Sometimes its dialogue.

If you want to write, anon, just open a doc and start writing. It may not be something you like but you will only improve with practice, like any other art form.

I hope this rambly nonsense makes sense. Your compliments are really appreciated and I am grateful for them. ;w; Thank you!