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ekebolou · 13 days

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The Substack is Live

Heya friends

So the substack now has the first five chapters of Kostas (starting here), all of Academy Days: Arrival (starting here), and one bit of personal rambling! Which I'll also just post below the cut.

I've decided I'll go back to my roots and publish Kostas serially, but wanted to give you enough of something to go on, so first five chapters are up. Maybe I'll get tired of it (I love/hate routine!) and go on a spree eventually, because there's 46 chapters, but for now I thought it might be nice to have some dependable material to look forward to each week.

Publishing serial-fashion also provides me a basis for pushing myself to write something about process each week, which is honestly probably good for my health. I used to do it a lot more, but it's felt sort of extraneous lately, so it'll be nice to share thoughts again (I say, petrified of sharing thoughts). No promises on quality.

Anyway, this'll be on the substack too, under Assorted Ramblings, because I'm not exactly sure how on-theme I'll be. In true old-school internet goblin fashion, I've just typed it the fuck up in the editor, no drafts no gods no masters, so expect whatever that means for style and comprehension.

I'll get all the side stories up and some of the other material like Tenor Group on there probably starting next week (it's controlled compulsion, right? Gotta space it out or I'll end up down a burnt-out rabbit hole). I'm trying to keep as non-annoying as possible, which means I'm hopeful there will be enough interest that it will be shared word of mouth, and those interested are welcome to subscribe, but hopefully won't be bothered with a million emails or anything. I can't vouch for substack itself, but I'm going to try to keep it to notifications of posts and that's it. I don't even know what else you would want to know about it.

Check below the cut for the sort of sample dumbassery you can expect from the Assorted Ramblings, including a brief story about what happened when I had my first irl friend read the manuscript! (it wasn't great)

Hello and welcome, I suppose, though there is a welcome page somewhere. This is an inaugural post in what I hope will be series of posts about, generally speaking, my writing, world building, and other, loosely-associated things.

These are generally off the cuff. But, honestly, so is most of this stuff - that’s part of what makes it fun. Needless to say, I wouldn’t take any of this as advice, exemplar, or dictum. I just like this stuff and my liking of stuff can sometimes have the air of method but it’s really just loosey-goosey, this is what happened here, not a place of honor stuff.

And speaking of advice, exemplar, and dictums…

The original title of the original file of the original story-that-would-become Kostas is titled ‘never finish’ (dot odt, I think… I can’t recall but it may have gone back to my WordPerfect days). It more or less, quite seriously, ‘came to me in a dream’, which doesn’t make it more valid or good - my dreams can be vivid shit - but did make it compelling, as it was so complete. Not the plot (fuck me, it’s never the plot), but the concept. The concept is essentially a bundle of tropes, so that makes sense, but still: very vivid, very compelling. Very much not what I wanted to write or what I was writing at the time or what I imagined myself being comfortable with writing in the future. But too much to not write it down so I did and thought maybe it would exorcise itself from my skull.

It did not.

And there was an inherent challenge in it that I should have realized would be too provoking to ignore.

Anyway, many permutations of it and life later, I thought, yeah, fuck it, let’s try to actually publish it. You wrote it, it’s novel length (absurdly over that, actually), let’s do it.

There’s a lot of writing advice out there, and a lot of publishing advice, and they’re two different things. And the thing about publishing is that you’re asking the carnies for tips on how to win the carnival games (Nothing against carnival folk or publishing people, both are lovely). Obviously my advice and perspective there isn’t useful, but I did come around to the idea that it wasn’t doing anything to actually build my skills in the ways I wanted them built and the prize was actually quite shit (fun shit? possibly! fun games? sometimes! Worth it? YMMV). Lots of things are like that.

One of the first things I did was get a friend to read the manuscript. My first venture out of the safely anonymized and largely self-selecting audience the stories had online, and an incredible risk, in my eyes. One I knew I had to be ready to take, for sure, but nonetheless.

If not the first sentence, then somewhere in the first paragraph or so, I used a perfectly cromulent word. I don’t remember what it was - it’s fallen out of the text since then, but some real Victorian doozy of a descriptor. A real word, natch, but a humdinger of English vocabulary. The suggestion to remove that word - which I resisted, it was the right word, you see - was the only thing my friend had to say. After that, my friend redirected to watching a piece of media they particularly enjoyed and had wanted to show me, and the meeting ended (as did any interest in that piece of media, an unfortunate side effect of how underwhelmingly terrible this first venture had gone).

In terms of writing critiques for the ages, this doesn’t even chart, but it did solidify something for me in the sea of crap (it’s not all crap) advice for writers I was swimming in at the moment.

The readers are either on board, or they’re not, and the sooner you can let them figure that out, the better. That’s what a whole chunk of writing advice out there is trying to get you to do. All this stuff about ‘no prologues’ (I have a prologue), ‘start in the middle of excitement, action’, ‘draw the reader in’ etc etc, is not because the advice works somehow, but because it gets people to that ‘on board or not’ question faster, and for the most part, the aim of published writing is to get people on board.

And, look, there’s a lot of good reasons to do that, and it can absolutely be good, productive, non-cynical advice. But if they’re not on board, fuck ‘em (that is very much not what the writing advice is leading you to).

That is, I realized, that this was the story. That didn’t mean it was some of kind pure muse-puke being fed to me baby-bird-like, or unchangeable - after all, the ‘right’ word did eventually fall out, though I think I held onto it for a bit out of sheer stubbornness, and the first chapter of Kostas is, indeed, a fine distillation of dropping readers in the middle of the action - but, you’ll also notice, that almost nothing like that happens again until the climax of the story.

There is totally a mass-market publishable version of this story in there, a version that might’ve kept my friend’s attention for more than a millisecond, but that wasn’t what I had done or what I was interested in doing with it. You can win a game of horseshoes in your backyard and fuck up the ringtoss at the fair. I was interested in using Kostas to learn about writing and get better at it. It was, essentially, a challenge to myself (had been, from the get-go, to write in a genre I was neither comfortable with nor writing in at the time, but which I had this idea for). What the first chapter (or prologue, actually, because there’s a prologue, y’all) had to do was not get the readers on board, but let them figure out if they could withstand the story for the long haul. Because it’s not a military action story, it’s melodrama in uniform. That perfectly cromulent word was perfectly cromulent. It didn’t make it to the final drafts because it wasn’t elegant.

I wrote the prologue after, read a bunch of self-serious horseshittery about ‘any submission with a prologue I throw in the trash’ and did what I was going to do anyway (and probably ended up in the trash!)

And all of this is in reflection of finally re-reading this thing for the first time in a few years and going ‘oh holy fuck, did you overdo this?’ I mean, damn. “Regret was a luxury of peace, and Cole knew they warred still” - who talks like that? Holy shit. “He did not carry the burden of preferring humility” - well, actually, that’s a good bit of characterization. There is no ‘blessed are the humble’ here.

Actually, no, I did write it that way on purpose.

That opening image, of the bloody leaves - it’s exaggerration. We’re not talking shell warfare here. People aren’t getting annihilated by artillery. It’s psychological. It’s the peak of a peak of absorbing, personal, ever-present violence. It’s how it feels, and has felt for so long it’s like nature, and this arrogant creature is of it, and it’s all coming headlong to an end, and like a cat overshooting its bowl he’s about to faceplant into a wall.

The audience needs to get really hard into it at the highest pitch and feel it abruptly end. And if you can’t withstand “the mist rising” and “ponderous leaves” and “Cole knew they warred still” you’re not going to like the story. Because the major emotional moments hinge on high melodrama, and you’ve got to at least be into it a little. So while hopefully there’s some narrative variety (there’s got to be, the fucker in interminably long), the first chapter puts on display the key kinds of things the reader will need to put up with to get into it. And maybe they won’t, and it’ll be a classic wallbanger (though for the sake of your digital devices, I hope not), but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Anyway, it’s also serial fiction - that’s why it’s so long - and not a novel, and maybe that’s what I’ll talk about next time, since I’ve opted to re-post it in that way to try to review the story’s best sides, so to speak. Or maybe I’ll just post a bunch of pictures of temperate broadleaf forest biomes and talk about trees. who knows.

#my substack #kostas stuff

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charlottedabookworm · 2 months

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Dawntrail Day 7+8 (part 2/2)

spoilers up to: lvl100 msq quest Dawntrail

original draft date: 4-5/7/24

scheduled release for: 31/7/2024

i managed to hit tumblrs image cap on part one of this post so. since i can't do a reblog of a post in drafts, here's part two!

part 1/2 is HERE

she added her birth name as her middle name

her name is krile because it is the name galuf gave her but maya is the name her parents gave her and she wants to keep both

and now just erenville remains

to erase the living memories of his mother

this expansion is really a love letter family and especially to parent/child and sibling relationships huh, good and the bad adn the ugly, blood and adopted adn chosen

yeah

i feel that

...i cannot believe your mum is calling your out like this erenville

at a time like this

that's fair. it's not fair, not really

inside the dome, thirty years passed over the number of days. you went home expecting to see your mum and by the time you made through the dome she was already gone

already gone and hiding it from you because her memories are still here, speaking to you, and that means she isn't really gone at all right?

except she is and she will be because you have to stop sphene and this may be the only way and you don't want her to go

she's your mum and your mentor and you don't want her to go so you don't want to help

(if she never fulfils her wish, surely she won't go?)

but i think- i think you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't, erenville

one last adventure with your mum erenville

one last happy memory

just gotta finish the msq and i have flight everywhere again!

(hopefully) no more distractions!

i love erenville and cahciua debating over the animal being scalekin or beastkin

they're just. interacting. probably how they have a thousand times before

(how they never will again, after this)

awww erenville apparently met baby krile, not that either of them remembers it lol

i'm just sad they didn't give us baby erenville in the cutscene he woulda been so adorable

the final aether current

i can't be far now from the final quest dungeon and trial still to go notwithstanding

i guess both of those will be on the dawntrail quest? that's how they usually do it iirc

i am not emotionally prepared for the end of this quest

fuck

i dunno erenville. but she's asked you too

fuck

fuuuuuck

okay imma put ending this quest off and go walk the dogs

i got distracted by life shit like dogs and food and parents and it is now 10pm

i'mma finish dawntrail tonight anyway wish me luck i don't wanna be up past 1

also i gotta remember to cry quietly so i don't wake anyone up

oh no i don't need to start crying already

fuuuuuck

screaming crying throwing up

fuuuuck yep i am emotionally devastated fuck you square

still sobbing but-

the curtain falls, the final act begins

dawntrail

i'm ready

this expansion has already broken my heart so many times surely it can't do it any more

surely

alexandria

it looks so much like in ffix

but-

'to the memory of better days i bid farewell' this is definitely gonna be like in endwalker and shadowbringers right? we're gonna have some time hops to go with our narration

ahhh ye here be calamity stricken alexandria

lovely

annnd the last stage is after the barrier was put into place, probably after sphene died?

cool yeah okay definitely after sphene died

final boss time!

And the final dungeon of 7.0 is done

bets on sphene becominh a giant boss who sits at one side of the arena with a huge hitbox?

yeeeep there she is

I suppose why mess with a pattern you’ve had since uh- stormblood?

excuse me did you just fucking delete my friends who gave you the right to do that

so fuckinh rud-

wait have i really gotta queue for the first time this expansion at gone 11 at night? Fuck this maybe wasn’t my best idea

sphene: brings out the milalas key

me: i place my ‘azem stone’ in defense mode!

okay wow that was legit one of the best trials i’ve seen in game

there were so many cool mechanics there were arena changes genuine chaos int he middle it was fucking great

like i can absolutely understand why people are saying they’re already improving fight design cos that was amazing

And then the victory lap in the end was nice to see

i cannot wait to see that in ex

we are all pitiful selfish creatures, sphene

all of us

born and created

of course we will

love this

annnd credits!

loved the expansion very much

new dragoon is interesting, i don't hate it, the story was a little slow to start but of course it would be, it wasn't a world ending threat (until three quarters of the way through) and it definitely made me cry more than once

loved seeing more of erenville

and i love that raha got his taco in the credits! and esti being surrounded by children tugging on him as alphi laughs!

great expansion, can't wait to see what happens next

erenville is gonna stop being a gleaner?

i wish you the best erenville

make sure to invite us on a few of those, yeah?

(i hit the image cap again fuck i'm not making another post it can just deal)

"And what of you? Any new adventures in the offing?"

well, wuk lamat, in a little less than two weeks i'm apparently going to be joining a fighting tournament

not sure why yet but it should be fun

....sphenes crown

her crown that was her regulator

her crown that was her regulator glowing?

might possibly have just figured out why we're entering a tournament

I will definitely go on another adventure with you erenville

whenever you ask

alpaca mount!

thanks wuk lamat!

they're so cute

kay no tihnking about it sphenes crown is probably story related cos the arcadion is open for buisness again and it doesn't seem to be related

anyway bedtime for me it's gone midnight lol

#char liveblogs ffxiv #char reacts to dawntrail #ffxiv spoilers #dawntrail spoilers #char does vidya games

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dreams-and-pinch-of-heartwarming · 6 months

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It's the first of da month

(w/ 100% more complaints)

First of gotta say it's been a while since I've posted.... It's been like what 2 weeks? Jeez... I'm surprised but most of my posts end up being left in the drafts. Well whatevs. (Here's a picture I took of some fake flowers of a shop)

Secondly a new semester has come and ofc it's been rough. First week everything was online and I LOATHE online lessons but since they were introductory I can ignore that. But things have gotten a bit rough with work (the server I worked closely with decided to leave so now I have to deal with way to much during our shifts) and I've been getting more depressed with my body image.

I'm planning on the goals for the month being to start eating more balanced (so hopefully no more unhealthy snacks and energy drinks after 1am) and to finish projects on time (currently failing at this)

Anyways, happy first of the month and let's hope for the best!!!

#first of the month #architecture student #complaining #architecture studyblr #i'm crying #happy month #good luck #Spotify

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kinetic-elaboration · 9 months

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December 18: First Vacation Day

Today, I did some writing, some reading, and some resting, which is a pretty good vacation day, and in a sense more ‘productive’ than I usually expect from a first day off. I had an idea at one point I’d go for a walk but it was really windy and unpleasant out and I think at some point it rained, so that wasn’t plausible, which is honestly okay. The skin on my hands is really dry but I have some nice lotions I can just continuously apply to it and that feels nice.

I wrote another scene in the Time Loop fic. I have been working on this for so long, but also so slowly for a pretty big chunk of time, and stuck within these last ten scenes for so long, that I just feel like I am not making any progress and never will. I know objectively I am, but I just keep looking at the rest of the outline and feeing like I can’t do anything but chip away at it and it never gets better. Of course, this is because I haven’t been chipping away at it, I’ve been staring at it, which is not how progress is made. It doesn’t help that it’s a time loop so I’ve written functionally the same scene so many times and still have some more repeats to go. I hope the looped scenes don’t read as similar as they feel to write. But also that each repeat still makes sense—sometimes I feel like I’m cutting corners to avoid being repetitive and what I’ve ended up with is a sort of vague, soup-y thing that doesn’t make any sense outside of my own mind.

I am really proud of this fic (this novel! It surpassed 50k today) but I’m also so ready to be done. That’s why I’m trying really hard to push to be finished with the draft by the end of this vacation, because I just need it to stop hanging over me. I think I like what I got down today—still a little too close to it to tell—and tomorrow I’m writing a long and repetitive scene, which I’m not really looking forward to but… again, I’m looking forward to getting it off the list. After that, only one more scene in Chapter Four, and then it’s on to the final Chapter Five.

I still don’t really feel at all in the Christmas spirit so I haven’t been taking any time off to do holiday ficlets or anything like that. It’s not off the table but if I can only write one thing in a day, I’d rather it be more of the Time Loop story.

Anyway, this is mostly just anxiety spiral but that’s what’s on my mind right now! I gotta get to sleep so I can hopefully do some more writing tomorrow.

#the year 2023 #2023: rl

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writingabouteverything · 3 years

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The Perfect White Flower--and Other Nonexistent Things

a/n YALL THIS IS PROBABLY DUMB BUT I HAD THIS IDEA ABOUT A HARRY STYLES X READER FIC THATS BASED ON THE PLOT OF JANE THE VIRGIN AND I WANTED TO WRITE IT SO BADLY I MADE THIS ACCOUNT

disclaimer--wont follow the show exactly

Pairing: Harry Styles x latina! reader (a key factor of the show revolves around the lead being latina, and im latina and honestly love writing for us but anyone can still read and understand/hopefully enjoy and the fic doesn’t involve any physical descriptions:))

Series Summary: Y/n l/n has had the world figured out since she was a child. She won’t be a writer because it’s risky, she’ll just focus on school and becoming a teacher. She’s never been a child, because her mother had her at sixteen and hasn’t aged a single year since. That’s part of the reason the promise she made to her grandmother means so much to her--if she doesn’t have sex before marriage, her child will never have to grow up as quickly as she did. And Harry Styles is at the top of the world--his music has never been more successful, he has a lovely girlfriend, and he’s never been more in demand. He has everything in the world...except a child, and through a series of unbelievable events--y/n might be his only chance to have one. Ever.

Chapter One Summary: Who knew getting a pap smear on two hours of sleep and three cups of coffee was as bad as having unprotected sex?

There’s something dangerous about taking public transportation in LA. And no, I don’t mean it in the ‘there are bad people in the world’ type of way. I mean it in the ‘I live in one of the casual influencer, celebrity, tourist hubs of the world and each time I step onto the bus I find myself mesmerized by all the stories I see in them’ way. Kind of pathetic, I know, but sometimes a child with blonde pig tails or a woman streaming on instagram live will catch my eye and the urge to pull out my lap top and start something I’ll never finish.

I know that writing isn’t some kind of disease. But I can’t let myself fall in love with it the way I want to. There’s nothing wrong with writing a short story or two, but trying to write a novel? That’s impractical. It will distract me from school, from the four year plan I’m almost done with.

Sighing, I brave taking at my surroundings. I deserve this today, after the anonymous, rude costumer at the hotel today, I need positivity. No one is particularly inspiring. The bus stops and I watch out the window. At first the crowd is ordinary, and then i see them...paparazzi. Flashing cameras from all angles, grown men violating all rules of personal space. It never sits right with me, but I guess it’s just part of living in LA. The bus starts moving again. When it stops again, I see even more paparazzis, but their cameras aren’t flashing. Good for whoever escaped that.

The bus door opens and I snap my attention back to my computer screen. I rub my eyes as I stare at my word document. How is there more that needs to be edited? This professor is the harshest grader I’ve ever had, and my friend, Gisa, is kind for giving me even more notes. But I’m exhausted. Two tests and an essay due before 12:00. And it’s...11:38. Great--I have to upload it the second I’m at my doctor’s office and have WiFi again.

I spend some time highlighting and rewording sentences, and once I’m done I reward myself with more people watching because I deserve it and I can’t fall asleep here. I’m kind of invested in the girl live streaming her bus ride...maybe she’ll say her instagram handle.

But when I look up, she’s not on the bus anymore. Almost no one is. An elderly couple is sitting towards the back. A woman with a toddler sit two rows in front of me...and there’s now a man directly across from me. I blink for a moment, imagining a story for someone who’s face I can’t quite see beneath such dark sun glasses. His dark waves and strong jaw do most of the imagining for me--he deserves a mystery, a dramatic one with a happy ending and just enough romance to keep the people interested. A good romance, too--not too sappy. Enemies to lovers, maybe. A mysterious stranger that’s not really a stranger because something about him is just...familiar.

He turns his head and I drop my gaze immediately. There’s no doubt he caught that, but I still pretend to edit the title of my essay. “You’ve been typing stubbornly since I first got on the bus.” There’s an accent--of course he’s english. But it’s more than that, I’ve heard that voice before. I’ve been...soothed by it. And--oh my god, I’m sitting across from Harry Styles.

Okay, don’t freak out. Don’t freak him out. He’s probably on here to escape the the whole ‘oh my god, you’re Harry Styles!’ thing.

“What are you writing?” Harry Styles just spoke to me. I greeted my one direction poster every single day in middle school, and Harry Styles just spoke to me. Okay--relax, breathe--it’s only weird if you make it weird.

There’s a kind of curt curiosity to his question. He could have been ruder, considering how blatantly I was staring at him. “I um...an essay.” I’m temped to turn the screen so that he can see I’m telling the truth. Though he wasn’t hostile, a part of me is paranoid that he thinks I am writing about him. It’s a fair assumption, for all he knows I’m drafting a tweet about who I saw on the bus this morning or preparing to send something in to some gossip girl-esque blog. “It’s due today at noon and normally I’m way more on top of things, but I had this last minute doctor’s appointment rescheduling because my usual doctor is out of town and--” I cut myself off before I can tell Harry Styles that I’m ovulating and that if I don’t go to my OBGYN now, I have to wait an entire month and I’ve already been off birth control longer than I’d like. I might not have actual sex in my near future, but my cramps have been extra terrible. “An essay, I just finished an essay.”

He nods once. Maybe he feels bad for so thoroughly startling me into such a rambling, because the corner of his mouth tilts upwards. A soft smile adds even more grace to his features, I focus on the dimple that appears in his cheek. “An aggravating essay, I take it, considering the death glares you’ve been giving your laptop screen.”

I smile at his polite humor. “It’s for the harshest grader on campus. She took three points off of my first essay freshman year because I spaced my bibliography wrong.”

He cringes in sympathy. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” I hum, proud of myself for not letting him know that I know who he is. The bus stops, I can see my doctor’s office behind a few paparazzi. “This is my stop.”

Harry nods once, ducking his head slightly. A tiny part of me feels sympathy for him; from what I’ve gathered, he genuinely loves his fans and the relationship they have, but it must be draining to never have a moment of privacy. Especially when it’s people who care more about selling your picture than your mental health.

I linger on the bus’s step, watching the men with large cameras look around. “Excuse me, are you guys looking for Harry Styles?” Most of the men disregard me, but one looks at me. “I know he’s near here because I’m a really big fan and my friend just texted that she saw him.” This gets me the attention I wanted. “He’s at Northfield--a cafe like three blocks down. I just know that if she got a picture with Harry in like a magazine or something she’d totally lose it--in a good way, and she’s been having a bad time so if you see her can you try to make it happen? Knowing her she’ll be at his side, she’s blonde, shortish hair.”

The men seem skeptical, but I guess they realize that this is the best lead they have. I think the fact that I gave a reason to justify selling Harry out for no reason helped. They disperse together, heading at least three blocks away from Harry. I don’t know if I’ve actually helped him, but I hope I have.

“Essay girl.” I freeze, half cringing. Did he hear that? That’s embarrassing. I consider darting away, but decide that would just make me cringe more. So I turn on my heels. “You...you forgot your phone.”

He just saved my life. “Thank you.” I take my phone from his outstretched hand, ignoring the slight thrill that runs through me when our fingers brush. “You’re my hero--the last thing I needed today was to run all over the city searching for my phone.” I finish the awkward admission with a partial laugh.

“Least I could do,” he mumbles, “especially considering what you just did.”

...He did see that. “Oh um--it was nothing, I just kind of made a connection and assumed the only reason you’d be on a public bus is because you were trying to avoid some things, and you make really great music and a lot of people happy, so you deserve that break.” Why does it feel like I’ve been talking forever? “Anyways, thanks for the whole phone thing, and I hope I got them off your tail.”

My joke seems to somewhat land. His lips part, like he’s planning on saying something else. A timer on my phone interrupts him. I instinctually look down--great, the alarm on my phone warning me that I’m only ten minutes away from being late. “I’m late.” I turn towards the bus’s exit. “I gotta go, but thanks again, and I hope you have a good day.”

I disappear after that, still not sure that that whole thing wasn’t some kind of hallucination. Did I just meet Harry Styles? He...he gave me my phone. Harry Styles has touched my phone. I can’t wait to tell Gisa, she’ll lose it.

I’m still thinking about Harry Styles when I finally reach my OBGYN’s office. When I get there, things are a lot more hectic than I thought they’d be. Many people crowd the waiting area and the receptionist’s desk is clearly understaffed. Two young girls are trying to address multiple upset pregnant women and take phone calls at the same time, all while practically buried in a sea pf paperwork. Wow, I didn’t realize that transferring was such chaos. One of the girls waves me over and barely checks my name before shoving a form towards me. I fill out as quickly as possible.

I upload my essay quickly after checking in. Who knows, maybe Harry Styles’s blessing will get me an A? A third person in scrubs emerges from the back after a moment and ushers me into a room. I tell myself to focus on going over the facts I need for the test I have to take in a little over an hour. Or to focus on the fact that I just met Harry Styles. But instead, I feel my heavy eyelids fall shut.

I don’t know how long I sleep, but I know that I wake up during the middle of a doctor’s sentence, “...I know I’m not your usual, so I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“Hm...Yeah, yeah I’m comfortable.” She nods once, her wide eyes slightly red. “But I do have a class today in like an hour, so I was wondering if this was going to take longer because of the office’s move?”

“Oh, no,” she shakes her head. “Just because Dr. Rodriguez gave us no notice before deciding that she no longer wanted to work here...or in the country. Or even live in the US, despite the fact that we just signed a lease on a place together...” Tears well in the stranger’s eyes, pity settles in my stomach.

“That sounds incredibly complicated, I didn’t mean to rush you.”

She blinks twice, her expression blanking as she fights against the pain of what’s clearly a terrible break up. “No, no--you have every right. Today is your day and if..honestly, if you’re strong enough to go to a class after this, and do what you’re about to do by yourself, then I’m strong enough to get through today.”

Um...didn’t realize a pap smear counted as something that needs moral support, but I’ll chalk it up to her heightened emotions. “Thanks.”

She snaps on her medical gloves. “No, thank you for your patience. Now lay down.”

I do as told, preparing for a sensation I haven’t often experienced. A moment passes and I know she’s started. She’s moving away from me much faster than expected. Oh--I guess pap smears are a lot shorter than I expected.

“That’s it?”

“Yep,” she hums, pulling her gloves off. “Now just take it easy, and hydrate.”

Weird...but that’s like general doctor advice. “Thanks!”

I’ve never wanted to keep a secret from Gisa, but sometimes I really regret telling her I met Harry Styles. It’s been almost a month and I find my mind wandering back to the moment in which our fingers brushed more than I should. Sometimes I let myself wonder what he might have said if my phone hadn’t rang. I was probably just imagining the way his lips parted, but my ind refuses to let it go.

“...You know it’s kind of sad, I read an interview in which he spoke about the fact that he has some genetic condition that makes it hard to have kids. He has so many godchildren, and I feel like he’d make such a great father.”

I try to keep up with Gisa’s words, but the dull ache in my head makes it feel so far away. “Yeah...he seemed really patient.”

Gisa nods, turning to face me. “You alright, you’re looking kinda green?”

“Yeah...” I reach for my canvas bag. “I think I just...I probably just need some water.”

My hand grazes the metal of my water bottle and then the corners of my vision blur into blackness. I sway, Gisa’s hand is on my shoulder...and then it all goes black.

I sit uncomfortably on the hospital’s cot. Gisa is a traitor for telling my mom that I fainted. I knew she’d just drag me here--hispanic mothers, they either believe they can cure you with vic’s vapor rub or they want you in the ER. No in between.

“I know you didn’t want another test, but you’ve been throwing up in the morning for days and now you’re fainting.”

“Fainted,” I correct, “it happened once.”

“C’mon, mija, it’s just one doctor’s appointment.”

Speaking of, an ER nurse returns. “Fainting and nausea spells explained,” he says, glancing at his clipboard, “you’re pregnant.”

My mom and I can’t help but exchange a look before bursting into laughter. Pregnant. If I’m pregnant then the second coming is here. “That’s impossible, I’m a virgin.”

He glances at my mom, “maybe we should have this conversation in private.”

“No, what you say in front of me you can say in front of my mom.”

My mom raises an eyebrow. “Y/n, did you and that guy from your english class--”

“No! No, we did not. I am a virgin and there’s no way I’m pregnant.” I glare at the nurse.

He then ushers me to a bathroom so that I can provide a urine sample. After I’m finished, he shows me a pregnancy test strip. “Pink means pregnant.” I bite my tongue as he tests the strip in my sample. He pulls it out and it’s...it’s bright pink.

“I’m calling my doctor, because this has to be a mistake. It has to be like a hormonal thing.”

“Exactly, pregnancy hormones.”

I glare even harder, calling the doctor that I saw last week. “Hello, Dr. Ash? I was wondering if I could get a consultation because I’m in the ER and some crazy doctor is trying to tell me I’m pregnant.”

Silence on the line for a long second. “...I actually cleared my calendar for you.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #jane the virgin #jane the virgin AU #lot #hslot st louis

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fbfh · 4 years

Text

dear baby; strawberry milkshakes - leo x reader parents au

words: 1.8k

summary: You and Leo are getting used to adulting together, when Chiron asks for your help. Next thing you know, there’s a little demigod for you two to take care of - and you’re not going to let her down.

warnings: almost boning but getting interrupted, shit is said twice, one use of fucking I think, mentions of orphanages and the foster care system, mentions of CPS, being at a CPS building, adopting a child, leo has trauma, leo and reader take in a child when you’re both 19, technically teen parents but not really, the kid has some trauma too, everyone has trauma but literally what’s new

au: sort of college + parents au

song recs: raining in new york mix - the bootleg boy (tw for some sort of sad dialogue samples), falling in love with love - bernadette peters in cinderella (1997)

a/n: I saw a kids book called Sophia Valdez Future Prez and I know nothing about it but immediately knew I had to do a parents au where you and Leo have a daughter named sophia???????? also I accidentally gave myself baby fever whoopsie

also I was barely able to proof read this and had no brain while writing half of it so if the beginning feels rushed at all that’s why teehee

Straddling his lap, you start to take off Leo’s shirt. He tilts his head to the side as you nip at the skin gently. He moans softly, then tenses.

"Shit!" He hisses, sitting up and pulling your shorts back up. You look at him bewildered, and he nods his head to the side, and you see a shimmery cloud that says that you have an incoming iris message from Chiron.

"Oh shit," you echo, moving to a reasonable distance away from him, a thick throw blanket tossed gracefully across your legs and pulled up to cover your chest, and you're grateful your shirt hadn't been thrown across the room already.

He pulls his shirt down and you toss him a throw pillow to cover his very obvious excitement. You give each other a ready as we'll ever be look and accept the call.

"Hey Chiron… what's up?" Leo asks nonchalantly.

"You must pardon my intrusion, dear children, I hope I'm not - er - interrupting anything.” “No, no, not at all,” you answer, hoping what you had been doing wasn’t too obvious in spite of how both of you are looking particularly flushed and deschevled, “we were just watching a movie.”

Leo nods in agreement, and you list two different movies at the exact same time, the dark knight rises and moonstruck.

A beat passes, and you continue, “Double feature. Just finished Batman and we’re about to start Moonstruck.”

Leo agrees. You can’t tell if Chiron is buying it, but he seems to move on relatively quickly.

“Right. I’m afraid I must ask for your help with a rather time sensitive situation.” your brows furrow in unicen as he continues.

He tells you about a young demigod a satyr found, not even four years old yet, but they haven’t been able to get her to camp. Apparently there were some complications, and CPS was called, now they’re looking for her parents to see if she’s going to a foster home or orphanage. If they can’t get to her before the CPS finishes processing her, she’ll be lost in the system. He’s asking older demigods and demigod families in New York, since processing time will go the fastest if the family or guardians are in-state.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please consider taking her in, at least temporarily.” You and Leo share a look, hearts already hurting that life has gotten to this kid so soon.

“I’ll give you some time to discuss this, please call me back as soon as you have an answer.”

You agree, and the shimmery image of Chiron dissipates.

“... Oh my god,” you breathe.

You turn to each other again, the same thing mirrored in each other's eyes. An immediate, unspoken conformation that there’s no way you can’t help this kid out passes between you. You know Leo, especially, will do whatever needs to be done to keep another orphaned demigod out of the foster system. The scope of the impact you could have on this kid’s life starts to dawn on you, and you lock eyes with Leo again, his face set in determination.

“Estrella,” he starts, and you know what he’s going to say.

“I know,” you confirm in agreement.

His leg is bouncing, and you lean over, grabbing a notepad and pen from the coffee table. Your mind is already racing, and you begin scribbling down a list of everything you’d need to do; get her a bed and clothes, research where she is in her developmental stages, put together a meal plan or at least some foods she’ll like - what do toddlers even eat? He starts pacing around the coffee table.

“We gotta help this kid, we-” he cuts himself off, overwhelmed with determination.

“We will.” you confirm, equally determined. You grab your laptop and start copying your list digitally so you can get everything organized. You stare at your reflection in the black screen while you wait for your computer to boot up. Once again, the reality of your situation hits you.

“We’re 19…” you state, in disbelief. Your mind is racing with doubts. What if you somehow make everything worse, what if you can’t handle it? He crouches next to you, placing his hand on your cheek.

“And we have a lot of love to give.” The smile in your eyes tells him that you know he’s right. You transcribe your writing, surprised that you’re okay with how fast this is all moving, and you let out another breathy laugh of disbelief.

You go through your hastily made checklist, switching between tabs about child psychology, parenting advice, and kid’s furniture and clothes websites, strategizing with Leo on how you can pull this off, and a plan gradually comes together.

“I mean, this is a two bedroom,” he says as you look through pages of bed frames and mattresses, “we can clear out our studio and turn it into her room.”

“And…” you add, checking yet another tab, “there’s a building nearby that rents out studio spaces and workshop areas. Ooh, and free parking.” you read on the website. It’s already late, but you send them an email anyway. Hopefully they’ll get back to you tomorrow. But for now…

“We can get a bed tonight, but we’d have to hurry. We can probably get some pjs and maybe a stuffed animal while we’re there- toothbrush!” You exclaim, adding it to your list, “I knew I was forgetting something…”

Leo stops pacing, and looks at you. “So… we’re doing this?” You can’t fight the smile on your face, and he already has his answer.

“We’d better call Chiron back,” you say, excitedly bubbling out. You both enter the bathroom, and iris message chiron with mist from the shower. He answers almost immediately.

“We thought it over and…” you trail off, letting him finish.

“We want to help.”

After changing into some presentable clothes and swinging by the store for a car seat and some other essentials (you almost forgot tooth paste this time), you’re driving with Leo to meet Chiron at the CPS office where they had Sophia - the girl Chiron told you about. You call the Ikea store not too far from your apartment, thankful you’re able to reach them before they close. You arrange to have them deliver a toddler bed to the spare bedroom in your apartment, your neighbor agreeing to let them in. Luckily, you had the presence of mind to get most of your and Leo’s stuff out of there, the corner of the living room now holding your desk and his drafting table.

You’re still a little blurry on the details of how you’re going to get custody of this kid when you’re barely legal and have no ties to her or her family, but Chiron said he could work everything out. You assume the Mist will come in very handy. You and Leo discuss this on the way over.

You can tell he’s worried. Knowing the horrors he went through in the foster system would be bad enough without all the demigod bullshit on top of everything. You take another deep breath.

“This is what’s best for her,” he says matter of factly, “she needs to be with people who understand her.” You agree, and he continues, very fired up.

“She needs to be in an environment where she’s not going to be ignored and ostracized; she needs to be part of a family, not a fucking meal ticket.”

You squeeze his leg supportively, and he takes another breath.

“You’re right. And she’s going to get all of that.” He scoffs in agreement.

“There’s not a better place for someone like her than-”

“With someone like her.” you finish. He pulls into the parking lot and you enter, meeting Chiron in the building. Your hand holds Leo’s tightly, unsure of who’s shaking more. Chiron explains that he already had a discussion (wink wink) with the social worker, and knows that he has the perfect couple to take little Sophia in, and all you have to do is meet with her and sign some papers.

So that brings you here, waiting outside the office door, holding each other’s trembling hands before finally entering. She doesn’t look up at you at first, until the social worker introduces you. Leo squeezes your hand, and she finally looks up, her eyes speaking a language you and Leo know. You know there is absolutely no going back from here, and you both sit down across from her.

“Hi, you’re Sophia, right?” She looks away, clearly and understandably overwhelmed.

“Don’t be rude, Sophia-” the social worker starts, but you cut her off.

“It’s okay, she didn’t do anything wrong.” you turn back to her, “You know, me and Leo have an extra bedroom at our apartment, and a kitten that I think would really like you. Do you want to come stay with us?”

She doesn’t look back up right away, but she turns her head towards you.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asks softly. How is she so precious already?

“A girl,” you reply, “named Jackhammer, because she purrs so loud.”

She giggles, and you and Leo squeeze each other’s hands in unison.

“Really?” she asks.

“Oh yeah,” you reply, “I’m sure she’d love to play catch the mouse with you.” She considers for a moment, then looks over at the social worker, who gives her an encouraging nod. After a moment of consideration, she replies quietly, “...Okay.”

She hops down from her chair, and you both follow suit. The social worker hands you some papers, and you both sign. You guide her to the lobby, let Chiron know it went well and promise to update him soon, and bring her to the car. You pull out of the parking lot.

Not long after leaving, you see a fast food place.

“Are you guys hungry?” you ask, nudging Leo gently.

“Yeah, I could definitely go for some fries. How bout you Sophia?”

She nods, then asks quietly, “Can I get a milkshake?”

Her expression is hesitant, and you get the sense she’s expecting a no.

“Of course kiddo,” you say.

“What flavor do you want?” Leo finishes, turning to look at her. Her eyes are bright with hesitant excitement.

“Strawberry, please.”

After leaving the drive through, you have Leo search through your phone for any kid friendly music, and discover the only thing you have saved that’s appropriate for present company is the soundtrack to the Cinderella musical from 1997.

That’s how your little family started; driving late at night, singing along to Bernadette Peters, and drinking strawberry milkshakes.

#Leo Valdez #leo x reader #Heroes of Olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #leo valdez imagine

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years

Text

Mixed signals

Author’s note: just a quick, simple hit of pure fluff, sweeties. Wrote this super quick idk.

Summary: you are Poe’s favoured comms officer, and it means so much to him to have your voice on the end of the line during a mission. You’re great at comms. You’ve talked him through some tough times. So why in the hell can’t he get you to speak to him when you’re face-to-face? And will his cute idea to get you talking work?

Warnings: hell, not a one.

(GIF by @cmorgana)

Poe has grown pretty fond of you over the past few months. The first time he spoke to you was over the comms, when his usual signals operator was injured and you were drafted in. He liked your style and you gelled well, and soon after he requested with the General that you be assigned to him and his squadron permanently whenever he was out on a mission. He trusted you to get the job done clearly, calmly, and decisively. You always stayed admirably cool in a crisis. And, to be honest, the other guy had always rubbed him up the wrong way, which was the last thing he needed when already under pressure.

He has come to depend on your voice on the other end of the line. Particularly the way you go over and above for him. Sometimes you talk him down if he’s scared on a mission -whether on the ground or in the air-, you boost him up when he’s hopeless, and sometimes you’ll even just keep him company through a private channel on his long flights home. You’re even ballsy enough to call him out when he’s being a dumbass, which he respects, even if he doesn’t admit it at the time. Your voice is often his lifeline, his saviour, and he’s losing count of the number of times you’ve guided him back home.

But when he’s face-to-face with you things are different. He can’t -for the life of him- get you to speak to him. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, of course. Case in point, the first time he spoke to you face-to-face, when you had just a couple of missions under your belt together, didn’t go down so well. He’d sidled over to your table in the canteen, thinking that he wouldn’t mind grabbing lunch and introducing himself to this (cute) new recruit he’d laid eyes on.

“Hey. Can I sit here?” he asks with a broad smile. “I don’t think we’ve met?”

“Yes, Commander Dameron.”

He recognises your voice instantly, suddenly turning goofy when he realises it’s you. “It’s you! From the comms!” he exclaims, with a succession of finger guns, cringing inwardly even as he does it, a heat slowly rising up his neck.

“Yes, sir. It’s me from the comms.” you slink away immediately, setting your empty tray down on the side without so much as a smile. He’s left sitting there alone, feeling like a bit of a buffoon, if he’s honest.

From then on, even in spite of that, he couldn’t stop wanting to talk to you. Your voice, the way you were with him on the comms already... did things for him, got him thinking about how he’d like to spend more time with you. But meeting you in-person, seeing how gorgeous you were, it had only cemented his attraction to you.

So, he tries again. And again. But no matter the situation, the topic, the time of day, the weather, you always seem to clam up and disappear, tight-lipped. For someone apparently skilled in communications there has definitely been some kind of break down between you. Maybe you’re just shy, he thinks; hopes, at first. But after a while he comes to the conclusion that you simply don’t want to talk to him unless you’ve been ordered to.

Finally, after months of pining, after becoming desparate to recreate the rapport he has with you over the radio, he just has to know what he’s doing so wrong. Did he piss you off? Is there something about him that you find deeply offensive? He needs to get you talking, and after some consideration, he figures out a way to do just that. At least, he has an idea and he prays it doesn’t make things any worse.

So, to implement his master plan, he approaches you in the canteen one day. He pulls you aside and softly asks if he can borrow you for a minute.

You clear your throat and respond stiffly. “Yes, sir.”

He smiles thinly when you fail to call him Poe, yet again, but motions for you to follow him anyway. He leads you into a spare bay in the hangar -now cleared out while everyone dines or hangs out in the mess hall- and gestures for you to tak a seat in the chair opposite him. Seeing the nervousness, discomfort in your expression, your tense shoulders, he reassures you that there’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s just a comms exercise. Then, he passes you a little hand-held radio and asks you to close your eyes tight.

“What’s happening?” you say, clutching the device in your fingers, your brows furrowed in confusion as you perch on the edge of your seat, clearly unwilling to relax.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions. And I just want you to close your eyes and talk to me like I’m in the air, ok? Just imagine I’m in my X-Wing, and you’re in the control room.” he sees a soft, subtle smile pass over your lips, sees you visibly unclench, just a little.

Maker, he likes looking at you. It kinda makes his heart flutter. Great, and now he’s getting nervous; he hopes this isn’t another of his utterly dumbass ideas. Only one way to find out, as per usual. Dive in.

“Black Leader to Nav Six. Do you copy?” He calls out, then mimics the “kchhh” sound of the radio.

You hesitate, your lips twitching up at the corners, but you respond. “Nav Six, I copy.”

“Do the noise.” he prompts you, with a gentle whisper.

You shake your head in confusion, flashing your teeth in a good-natured smile all the same. “Nav Six, I copy. Kchhh.”

“Black Leader to Nav 6. How’s your day going? Kchhh.”

“It’s getting a little weird, over. Kchhh.”

Poe notices your nose crinkle in amusement. He finds it adorable, and can’t help but smile in response to you. “Ok, Nav Six, I got eyes on the prize.” You must be able to hear the smile in his voice, because you reciprocate with your own broad grin. He always swears you can detect the emotions in his voice better than anyone. Always know what he’s feeling, often better than he does himself. Maybe that’s why your face drops as his tone switches, becoming more serious. Again, you mirror his expression unconsciously. “I gotta ask, Nav 6. Why do you talk to me on the comms but never face-to-face. Over.”

The radio drops from your lips and your face scrunches in mild distress. He swears a flush creeps up your neck, your skin beginning to glow with a soft sheen. He watches as you let out an audible, nervous breath, but determinedly bring the radio back up to your mouth. “Your voice alone is bad enough and then face-to-face? I have to look at you too?!” you blurt out.

“Wow, OK. Kriff. Copy. Loud and clear. Black Leader out. Kchhh.” He sits back in his chair, defeated, face agape. Maker, he hadn’t quite expected you to be that blunt. But at least he had some answers now. Mission complete?

“No, wait! I mean...” you appear to clutch the radio a little more tightly, screw your eyes up a little further. He watches your shoulders rise as you suck in a slow, deep breath. There’s something more. Something worse?

Searching your face, he leans forward again in his chair, his voice soft and gentle. “Talk to me Nav Six. Over.”

After one more long inhale you blurt out: “I have a huge crush on you, Poe!”

Oh. Oh. It’s a classic case of mixed signals.

“What?! You do?!” he smiles in utter delight, a warm feeling spreading through his chest, giving him jitters. Happy beeps. Happy kriffing beeps.

And now that you’re talking you can’t seem to stop.

Your hands are clasped together nervously, your shoulders practically tucked up next to your ears but you’re talking. “On the comms I can hide how I feel, a little, but in real life you’re so damn handsome and you smell too good and you make me so kriffing nervous that I can’t even speak.”

Now this. This he could work with. He scrapes his chair across the floor to come closer to you, and you bite your lip with apprehension as you hear the sound.

“Tell me more,” he encourages. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

You huff a little. “I was trying to avoid you finding out because it’s embarrassing and... and there’s no way you can like me back.”

He just looks at you, checking you’ve finished your outburst. Unbelievable. You really have no idea how utterly perfect you are, do you? You gulp as he shuffles his chair closer to you once again. He must be close enough for you to smell him now, he estimates, as your nostrils flare slightly, your breath quickens a little.

“Ok. Let’s review, Nav Six.” He can’t keep the smile off his face at the fact you still have your eyes screwed tight shut. “Some of that was correct- I’m handsome. I smell great. What I wanna know is why is there no way I can like you back?”

“You’re Poe Dameron...”

His eyebrows jump up in surprise and confusion. “What does that even mean?”

You laugh, hopefully realising how silly that sounds out loud.

Then he simply asks you: “Open your eyes.”

“Nuh-uh.” you shake your head, nibbling nervously on that delicious lip of yours.

“Fine, if you really don’t want to see me when I tell you I do like you back.”

Oh, you open your eyes now. You open them wide.

His eyes crinkle at the corners as he finally gets to gaze into yours. He looks up at you from beneath his pretty lashes, a little more nervous himself now. “In fact, I like you so much that I don’t even mind if you get all spluttery and nervous. If this is any indication? Then, it’s adorable on you anyway, quite frankly.” He reaches out tentatively to take your hands in his, scraping his chair a little closer. “But one thing I do kinda mind” he says, dropping his voice a little into his throat “is not getting to talk to my favourite person and look them in their gorgeous face at the same time.”

You’re grinning. “Are you done? Do the noise.”

“Sorry, Nav Six.” He says, matching your grin. “Kchhh.”

You giggle, and he just looks ardently at you, drinking you in. He traces his thumb affectionately along your jaw line, under your chin, over your bottom lip. Your breath hitches.

“See, this is exactly what I mean..” you say, becoming evidently flustered. “You ... you make me feel really... nervous.”

He leans in until his lips are almost on yours, enjoying the effect he’s having on you already. “Hmm, but I only wanna make you feel good, baby.”

Then he presses his mouth to yours, and suddenly... you’re giving him all the right signals.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #star wars x reader #sw #star wars fic #swcreators #poe x reader #poe dameron fluff #fluff #reader insert #poe dameron fanfiction #star wars fanfiction

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angst-in-space · 2 years

Text

april ‘22 writing progress

words written: 25.4k

most words written in a day: 1393

least words written in a day: 361

current yearly total: 90.3k

projects worked on:

- editing ch 7 of sylvix dreamscape fic - finished a draft of ch 8 and started writing ch 9 - writing new ending of my ya sci-fi book - editing renga fic

works published in april:

none 😖

april goals:

- post ch 7 of sylvix fic - start editing ch 8? - finish editing first two chs of the renga fic and hand that off to betas - meet my camp nano goal (30k words) - rewrite ya sci-fi book ending - continue reverse outline if i have time? - finish writing ch 8 of sylvix fic - at least start writing ch 9?? maybe finish it haha? - apply to writementor summer mentoring program - apply to roguementor

may goals:

- finish editing and post ch 7 of sylvix dreamscape fic - start editing ch 8 - finish draft of ch 9 and start editing ch 10 - finish writing new end of my book - work on reverse outline if i have time? - continue cutting down my book word count if i have time? - edit first two chapters of renga fic and hand it off to betas - apply to dvmentor - maybe apply to queeryfest

notes:

okay well first of all. i’d written out most of this post without realizing i had tumblr’s new beta text post thing turned on and was like “huh why does the text editing thing suddenly suck absolute ass”, then it randomly reloaded and DELETED MY ENTIRE POST so anyway PSA to uh not turn that on bc it fucking sucks and i’m fuming that i had to write this all out again but anyway kdjfkd.

sooo didn’t quite meet my goal of writing 30k during april but i did write 25k so i got pretty close. i’d hoped to either finish writing the new end of my book or finish the sylvix fic and iiii finished neither! but still got a lot of progress done on both so we’ll call it a win.

put most of my efforts during april into working on my book and i hope to keep doing a bunch of work on that during may. still gotta finish writing the new ending and also significantly chop my word count (AGAIN) to fit said ending in lmao. but uh hopefully i can do it!!!

in my never-ending quest to get a writing mentorship... i did not get into revpit or writementor BUT i did end up on one revpit editor’s shortlist so that was very cool! i also had a phone call w her and she was very sweet and helpful and gave me a lot to think about in terms of what i can tighten/improve in future revisions of my book!! i also applied to roguementor so i’m keeping my fingers crossed for that. i plan to also submit to dvmentor aaand possibly queeryfest (the latter probably only if i don’t get into roguementor tho!)

as for fic things: did not post ch 7 of sylvix dreamscape fic yet... kinda struggling with editing it bc i’m not super happy with it dkjfkd - i’m probably overthinking things as usual but UGH. hopefully will get my shit together and publish that before the end of may. hope to also at least start editing ch 8, finish a draft of ch 9 and maybe start writing ch 10 (THE LAST CHAPTER...AAAHHH).

alsoooo hoping to finally edit the first two chapters of the renga fic and hand that off to betas before the end of the month. i got a bit of it done during april but... not much. and that fic has been on the back burner for way too long so i rlly gotta just edit/post it lmfao.

anyway i think that about covers it?? i probably had more things to say but i’m still fuming that tumblr ate my original post tbh DKFJDK. soooo yeah tl;dr hoping to finish writing my new book ending, get some work done on dreamscape fic, and edit/post some stuff!!

#brigidposts #writing updates #monthly writing progress 2022 #fanfic #original fic #text #long post #...i'm still so mad lmao

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siarven · 2 years

Note

I think I followed you for the tma fanfic but stayed for the vibes 😎

do you have a favorite moth?

Awww 🥺🥰 Thank you so much?? I am so glad :'333

And yes!!! I have a lot of favourite moths, but the one I think of first is the cecropia moth :DDD I wanna pet its head very gently :'3 (I wouldn't but it looks so FLUFFY!)

THE LIL FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'3333333

I have also just now learned that they're native to north america so I guess next time I visit I am going on a moth discovery trip!?!?! >:0000 [image source/article]

Look at them ,,,, AAAAA :'3333 the colours!!!! the contrast!!! the floof!!! I love them so much!! Nature is amazing!! my brain cell sadly hasn't booted up completely yet or you'd get more moth rambles (in general, about others too),,, just know i love them A Normal Amount (Fairly sure the upper one is a male and the video has a female moth, the males have larger antennae :D)

There are also a huge number of other fantastic moths I love A Normal Amount, but this is always the first one I think of :D They make me very happy :'3

Regarding the fanfic, I promise it isn't dead even if it looks fairly dead sldkfdlf ,,, I just had something of a writing crisis(TM) in September and October (caused mainly by wip novel), then rewrote said wip novel for Nanowrimo in November (fifth draft babyyyy) and edited out nanowrimo-induced typos and stuff in December. It's in beta phase now, once again. Plan was to binge-write Moth Song after finishing Dream's Shadow v5,,, obviously that didn't happen!

What happened instead was 3 months' worth of uni stress because I had also made the fantastic (derogatory) executive decision to join four (4) huge uni film projects that ended up all being due roughly at the same time (now! :'D) and sadly they're also all too cool to resist (I should have put two of them back, but there wasn't really anyone else to help out and ahh. #Do it for the portfolio 💪😤). One day I will once again have a brain cell left to make words with. (I did write a tiny bit here and there but idk if it's any good xD Can't believe I stopped in the chapter I wrote this whole dang fic for smh)

Buuuut in theory I should have survived most of them sometime next week. Also it's camp nanowrimo once again so I'll at least write 10k this month, hopefully more :D The plan is still to write it like I would write a novel and finally get some backlog for once so I don't have these huge hiatuses every time uni eats me alive v_v Wish me luck lmao

Anyways, just gotta survive and finish everything and then I can have some mental space again xD

I hope you have a lovely day and thank you so much :'3 Do you have a favourite moth? :DDDD

#MOTHS MY MOST BELOVED #sorry for the fic ramble #i felt like this was as good an opportunity as any to complain a bit about past me's choices dkfjd #(that being said the films are going to be fantastic it's just too bad that everything as always happens at the same time)#(bc other ppl earlier in the production pipeline procrastinated too long smh)#ANYWAYS THENK i am so grateful and also ahhhh #moths #moth #insect #insects #bugs #bug #cecropia moth #moth song #moth song tag #tma fanfic

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sunsetcurve · 4 years

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learn to love without consuming (1/4)

fandom: knight squad relationships: arc / ciara, minor or one-sided arc / oc and ciara / oc word count: 4,603

a/n: eek. it's finally here. if you follow me here you know that i've been working on this for a few weeks (months?), but the idea has been sitting in my drafts for basically forever. almost since i watched the show to begin with. the recent resurgence of the ks fandom prompted me to dig this back up and gave me the motivation to actually try and finish, because fuck it! i love my babes and i want more of them.

so quick note is that this picks up pretty soon after the season 1 finale but disregards basically,,, everything that happens in s2. s1 and the finale proceed the same way except prudy never finds out ciara's secret, so she and warwick don't know at the moment. this chapter was initially gonna have more scenes that drove the plot/romance arc but once i got upwards of 6k with a few major scenes left i decided it would be best if i split the chapter up, so for now it’s just a lot of me trying to work around the convoluted knight squad lore to establish my own. i know that's not exactly what everyone is here for, but i promise things on the romance/action front will pick up soon. i'll place warnings as detailed as i can get without spoiling in the tags and notes as i go, but just anticipate fairly significant violence by chapter 3.

anyway! i have talked enough. the title is from thus always to tyrants by the oh hellos, the rating is t for swearing/violence, there are three more chapters that are in the process of being written, and reviews are like crack as far as i'm concerned. i really hope you like this! thanks for reading <3

dedications: this fic is first and foremost for @ciara-knightly, who is not only my amazing beta but also the whole reason this fic exists. she helped me so so much with the development of the plot and worked through it with me even way before i decided to really start writing it, and i wouldn’t have been able to do this without her. all of the notes she left after beta-reading were so so helpful and really made this whole fic make sense so basically i owe her my entire life. she inspires me to be a better writer all the time and i love her. everyone say thank you shona!!! also tagging my lovely friends and some people who have expressed interest, who are in no way obligated to read this; @juliesdahlias @mistyskiesrambles @dr-rigatoni @willexs @taylorswiftrulestheworld @onplanetmars @neshatriumphs @zackmartin @julies-molinas @soni-dragon @yagorlemmalyn @hopefulbeautifulfool @cactus-con @waterisntreal @onetwothreefarkle @bitchmilsky

summary: “Now that Ryker isn’t a threat anymore, the councils are supposed to resume as planned, and Astoria is set to hold the first one two weeks from now.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “That sounds exciting.”

Ciara nods. “It is! I finally get to meet some of the other nobility, and actually get to be involved in Astorian politics for once. But my dad won’t let me go without an escort,” she says, and then hesitates. “Which is where you come in.”

read it on ao3

The morning before training that day, Arc is testing his skills against a heavy bronze padlock when Ciara enters the squad room and drops a brown paper bag on the table in front of him.

“These,” she announces as he raises an eyebrow at her, “are for you.”

He pulls open the package and is instantly greeted with a rush of warmth and the smell of vanilla. “Dragon puffs?” he says, half in awe. It’s a clear bribe, but he can’t help but shove a sugar-coated sweet in his mouth anyway. They’re an Astorian original and possibly the best thing he’s ever tasted; he’d tried them once at a bakery near the castle and hasn’t stopped thinking about them since.

“Okay, what do you want?” he says then, words muffled around the cream and pastry.

Ciara pulls a face at his manners, but still manages to blink innocently at him. “Can’t I just do something nice for a friend?” she tries, but it’s half-hearted.

He swallows and grins at her. “Nice try, Princess. Your dessert deliveries always come with an ulterior motive.”

Huffing a sigh, she sits down next to him. There’s this subtle air of anticipation lingering around her, one he can only sense based on how in tune they are after so long of being teammates. The two of them have this easy way of reading each other now; they’ve been spending more and more time together, something having shifted in their dynamic after the battle against Ryker. He can’t quite place what it is, but he knows it’s only brought them closer. “Do you know what the Council of the Five Kingdoms is?” she asks finally.

He shrugs. “Sure. Nobles from each kingdom used to have a big ball every year to talk trading and politics and other boring stuff…”

“Except there hasn’t been a council since Ryker’s invasion, because the kingdoms have been isolated and preoccupied with their own safety,” she finishes for him. Her fingers tug at the lacing of her leather gauntlets; she’s nervous, but he still isn’t sure why. “Now that Ryker isn’t a threat anymore, the councils are supposed to resume as planned, and Astoria is set to hold the first one two weeks from now.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “That sounds exciting.”

Arc chokes on his second dragon puff. “You want me to be your escort,” he says flatly, once he’s finished coughing, “to the Council of the Five Kingdoms?” Normally he’d jump at the chance to spend a night dressing up and eating castle food. But the council is a decidedly different scene; there’s a set of formalities, politics underlying everything, and too many chances for him to expose his lack of knowledge when it comes to Astorian customs. Not to mention that Catalias’ royals will be there. He doesn’t know if he can stomach looking them in the face, knowing what they did to Seagate.

Ciara grimaces. “Look, I know it’s not exactly your thing, but my dad won’t let me go alone. And this really means a lot to me.” Her eyes are pleading, and Arc feels his resolve chipping away.

“Can’t one of your actual guards go with you?” he tries. “Or, Prudy or Warwick or someone?”

“I’ve already talked to my dad about it,” she explains. “You’re the only Knight School student he’d let protect me, because you already proved you could when Ryker invaded. Besides, if something were to happen…you’re the one person who knows I can handle myself as Ciara.”

There’s this brief stretch of silence where Arc works his bottom lip, and Ciara looks as though she’s debating something. “Also,” she adds finally, with the soft flicker of a hesitant smile, “I thought it might be fun to go with you.”

Arc blinks at her, caught off guard by the admission. There’s this sudden buzz in his chest that he can’t push away; in truth, he doesn’t like the idea of her spending the night with someone else either. Maybe, by some miracle, this will actually be a good thing. “Alright,” he relents. “I’ll be your escort.”

Ciara’s face breaks into a grin. “Yes! Thank you!” She throws her arms around him, and he’s shock-stilled, a rush of warmth flooding through him as he hugs her back. When she pulls away, her eyes are shining with excitement. “Okay, I’ve gotta go tell my dad you said yes, and there’s a million things to do, but I’ll see you at training later. You are the best.”

“I expect dragon puffs for life!” Arc calls after her as she disappears through her passageway. He leans back into the couch, lightheaded, and in that moment, he realizes abruptly that there’s almost nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

And he is so completely screwed.

Two weeks later, Arc is standing outside Ciara’s bedroom, waiting for her to finish getting ready.

It feels odd to be out here in the open. Generally his visits to her chamber are accompanied by an air of secrecy, but tonight, he’s a guest in the castle. He’s dressed like it, too, decked out in the guards’ typical formal wear: pressed brown pants, a white shirt laced up the front, and a navy leather jacket trimmed in gold, with Astoria’s crest on one shoulder. He looks kind of dashing, honestly.

Despite the confidence boost his new look offers him, his hand keeps drifting to the hilt of his sword. It’s sheer force of habit; he only associates this brewing sense of apprehension with battle, and his muscles are responding in kind. He’s glad, at least, that he turned down the other guards’ offer to lend him one of their ceremonial blades and instead has the familiarity of his own. Hopefully he won’t need it, but it’s a steadying presence all the same.

“Almost ready!” Ciara calls from inside, and Arc carefully unclenches his fingers from around the leather grip of his sword. He has to keep it together tonight; she’s made it clear how much this means to her. The last thing he wants to do is embarrass her in front of nobles from all five kingdoms.

Well, four, he reminds himself. Seagate won’t be attending. There isn’t anyone left to represent them.

The thought makes his stomach twist.

He’s saved from having to dwell on it by the sound of Ciara’s door unlatching. “Better prepare yourself, Princess,” he teases, leaning against the wall, “I look pretty good, and the last thing we want is for you to get too smitten—”

He breaks off as she emerges from the doorway, all the air in his lungs leaving in a sudden rush. He’s trying hard not to be the cliche of a guy scraping his jaw off the floor at the sight of a pretty girl in a dress, especially not like this, with Ciara—but he can’t help but think that it’s ridiculously unfair of her to come out looking like that. Her dress is a pale blue, falling gently off her shoulders and cinching at her waist, and her tight curls are weaved with strands of gold and tied into a low knot, some of them falling loose to frame her face. There’s a crown of gold leaves and rosebuds settled in her hair.

“You...um…” Arc searches for his voice, “you look amazing.” His mouth feels dry.

Ciara smirks and reaches up to adjust the collar of his uniform. “You don’t look so bad yourself. I’m definitely smitten,” she jokes, like it’s nothing for them to be flirting openly. It should be nothing. Except his skin burns where her fingers brush against his neck, and he suddenly wonders if she can hear his heart pounding.

He clears his throat. “We should probably get to the ballroom.”

She nods. “Give me your arm,” she says, looking at him expectantly. When he raises an eyebrow, she continues, “You’re my escort, remember?”

“Oh, right.” He lifts his arm obligingly, his cheeks warm.

“I really wish we’d had more time to go over Astorian customs,” she breathes as she takes it, more to herself than anything. “Between training and helping with preparations, I’ve been so busy…” His nerves must show on his face, then, because she squeezes his arm gently and amends, “Sorry. You’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just stay close to me, okay?”

“Not a problem,” he grins without missing a beat, and Ciara scoffs and shoves him, the smile tugging at her mouth taking all the bite away from it.

They can do this, he thinks. The two of them have kept up appearances for each other for months now, have fought and trained and battled Ryker together. They’re Arc and Ciara, unstoppable duo. One little party should be nothing.

As they make their way down the hall towards the ballroom, flanked by guards, Ciara lowers her voice. “When we get there, most of the nobles should be inside already. The herald will announce my father first, then us, and then each of the other three kingdoms. We’ll be beside the thrones as they come in—you’ll stand by me, left side—and once they’ve all been announced, we can leave the thrones and mingle. Bow to each of the rulers as they come by.”

They had, at least, practiced his bow. Arc swallows back the dread in his throat; all he has to do is stand beside her and greet the other royals, it’s easy enough. For a moment, they linger outside the entrance to the ballroom, until an official-sounding voice announces the King. “We’re next,” Ciara whispers to him, eyes glinting with excitement. “You ready?”

He nods back at her, and the voice calls, “Accompanied by Sir Arc...Princess Angelica of Astoria!” They step into the ballroom, greeted with applause. Arc doesn’t think he’s ever been in a place this lavish; the walls are white, accented in deep gold, and the floors are polished to a gleam. The ceiling looks hand-painted, ornately decorated in constellations and swirling designs, and crystal chandeliers dangle over their heads, casting a golden glow over the whole room. He tries not to look too awe-struck.

They make their way to the platform on which the thrones rest, Ciara nodding and smiling and waving at the other nobles as they pass. She stands next to her father, and Arc takes his place on her other side, placing his hands behind his back and trying, for all the world, to look like he belongs there. He wonders suddenly if he’s stood too close to her, and if it would make things worse for him to shift over now, and if his indecision is showing on his face—

And then, almost imperceptibly and hidden from the ballroom’s view by the folds of her dress, Ciara reaches over and links her pinky with his. It’s a tiny gesture, a friendly reassurance, but Arc feels a tide of warmth swell in his chest all the same. He lets his gaze flit to her for just a moment, and her lips are graced with a small smile as she tugs his finger gently.

His breath hitches, and he fights to keep his face a passive neutral as the herald announces the next kingdom and he turns his attention back to the doorway.

“Presenting King Hugo, Queen Luciana, and their son Prince Isaac of Catalias!”

Arc’s stomach turns as the couple enters, trailed by their son, all three of them swathed in lavish red and gold. Their reputation precedes them; he knows little about the prince, but the king and queen are infamous for their hoarding of wealth, their favorance of the rich nobles and landowners of their kingdom over the common people. Arc knows them best for what they had done to Seagate.

His hand twitches for his sword, but he fights against the instinct.

True to form, the two have a haughty look about them, all starched clothes and stiff smiles as they bow to Ciara and the King. The two of them return the greeting with Arc following their lead—grudgingly.

“I am so pleased you could join us tonight,” the King smiles, a little tight-lipped. “It is high time that Astoria and Catalias united again.”

King Hugo nods back. “I couldn’t agree more. The honor is ours.”

Arc detects a veiled sort of tension between the two of them, hidden well underneath the cordial formalities. He glances at Isaac, whose eyes are trained intently on Ciara even as he and his parents move to greet the other guests. Something about it is unsettling.

He’s so focused on Isaac that he almost misses the herald’s announcement of the next kingdom. “Queen Damyanti, and her children Princess Aadhya and Prince Kavan of Khurjan!”

Queen Damyanti is the picture of elegance, draped in silver silk that almost seems to glow against her dark skin. Aadhya looks around fifteen, with the same deep eyes and regal expression, and Kavan must be ten or so. He grins toothily as the three of them approach the thrones and bow.

The King’s expression is much warmer now. “Queen Damyanti. It has been too long. I trust Khurjan is doing well?”

“Not quite as well as Astoria, perhaps,” she replies, and it’s teasing, no sharpness to it. “This ball is absolutely lovely. Princess Angelica, you look so beautiful. Just like your mother. I was so sorry to hear of her passing.”

Ciara’s eyes go soft. “Thank you, Queen Damyanti,” she nods back. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

“You as well. It’s a shame your sister couldn’t make it, but hopefully we’ll all gather again soon.” She gives a small, departing nod and joins the rest of the nobles, Aadhya giving them a bright-eyed smile and Kavan waving enthusiastically as they follow her. Ciara laughs.

“And finally...King Jesper of Vysalt!”

Arc is confused for a moment; he wonders if he had remembered the name of Vysalt’s king wrong. Then a young man with a head of dark curls and a smattering of freckles against tawny brown skin enters, his crown just slightly crooked. His eyes are wide and dark, and a jagged, white scar cuts across his cheekbone. He can’t be much older than they are.

“He’s the king?” Arc whispers to Ciara under his breath as Jesper makes his way over to them. “How old is he?”

Her expression twists a little in sympathy. “Seventeen. He wasn’t supposed to inherit the throne so soon. His parents were killed when Ryker’s army took over his kingdom.”

Arc isn’t sure what to say to that. He knows what it’s like to lose everything to Ryker—he can picture the flames every time he shuts his eyes. But he hadn’t known about Vysalt or the fate of its royals. They had been close allies with Seagate at one point, one of the only other kingdoms without much wealth, and their king and queen had been known for their generosity.

Somehow Arc had thought the damage had been done to Seagate alone, but now he wonders how the other kingdoms fared, if they suffered just as much. If any of them came out as unscathed as Astoria did.

“Your Majesties,” Jesper says as he bows, and there’s a note of pity in the King’s expression as he returns the gesture. Arc can only imagine how he feels about someone so close to his daughter’s age having to run a kingdom on his own.

“King Jesper. How are you doing?”

It’s a more personal question than he had asked the other royals, Arc notes. Jesper smiles easily; it’s soft, highlights his deep dimples and makes his dark eyes glimmer. “Well, thank you. Vysalt is recovering with time. As am I,” he adds, voice quieting for a moment.

The King nods back. “That’s good to hear. Let us know if there’s anything Astoria can do to help.”

Something flickers in Jesper’s expression, hard to read and gone so quickly that Arc wonders if he imagined it. The young king bows again before moving to join the others, but not before he catches Arc’s eye and smiles warmly. It surprises him—the other royals had hardly given him a second glance—but he returns it with one of his own. Beside him, Ciara lifts an eyebrow, her expression a mixture of amusement and something else he can’t place.

“What?” he asks quietly, and she shakes her head, glancing away.

“Nothing.”

He wants to pry, but the King is clearing his throat, getting ready to address the room. The chatter dies down as all eyes turn to him.

“My fellow Astorians,” he says in his deep, booming voice, sounding more formal than Arc has ever heard him, “and my guests from our neighboring kingdoms...I am honored to welcome you to our castle, and so pleased that we could all be in attendance tonight.”

Not all of us, Arc thinks, but no word of Seagate comes up.

The King continues, “For decades, our kingdoms have been isolated and divided by Ryker’s armies. We have long suffered under his forces, but his threat is gone for good. Thus, tonight is more than a council; it is a symbol of our victory, a symbol of our unity as we move forward and rebuild. So enjoy yourselves! After all, we have so much to celebrate!”

To Arc, the sentiment feels hollow. He got his revenge, and of course he’s glad that Ryker can’t hurt anyone else, but it doesn’t change the fact that Seagate is in ruins. It feels suddenly difficult to celebrate with the weight of his village’s absence lingering in the air around him. The rest of the partygoers don’t seem to share his hesitance, though; the room breaks into applause and cheers, several of the guests raising their goblets jovially.

Ciara gives him a subtle nudge, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Now we get to mingle,” she grins, leading him off the throne platform and towards the crowd.

He follows dutifully as she heads toward the table where the other kingdoms’ royals have gathered, Astoria’s king staying behind to greet the other royals. Queen Damyanti is in conversation with King Hugo and Queen Luciana, but she doesn’t seem entirely pleased about it, and Jesper and Kavan are laughing at something Aadhya has said. Isaac hovers next to them, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. He has his father’s golden hair and clear blue eyes, but the frown on his face is entirely his mother’s.

It disappears, though, the moment he sees Ciara approaching them. “Princess Angelica,” he greets her, with a little too much enthusiasm for Arc’s liking, “I’m so honored to finally meet you. You’re even more radiant in person.” Before she can say anything, he takes her hand and kisses it swiftly. Arc narrows his eyes.

Ciara gives a forced-sounding chuckle and curtseys, pulling her hand back. “Thank you, Prince Isaac. I’m glad you could make it. Allow me to introduce Sir Arc, my guard and escort for the night.”

Arc bows—and if he never has to bow to another pompous royal again, he thinks, it’ll be too soon—and Isaac offers him a dismissive sort of half-smile. Any further interaction they would’ve had then is thankfully avoided by the other royals noticing Ciara’s arrival.

“Hi, Princess Angelica!” Aadhya says brightly, with a neat little dip of a curtsey, “I’m Aadhya.” When Ciara and Arc begin to return the gesture, she waves her hand with a tiny scoff. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Formalities. Just come sit.” She returns to her chair and pats the seat next to her, and Arc decides right there that he likes her.

Ciara takes the offered chair, and Arc takes the only other open spot, in between her and King Jesper. As Ciara launches into conversation with Aadhya, Jesper turns to him.

“Hi,” he says, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m Jesper.”

Arc bites back a laugh at the unnecessary introduction. “I know who you are, Your Highness,” he replies lightly.

“I know. I was just trying to give you an opening to tell me who you are.”

Oh. That’s unexpected. There’s no prerogative behind his words, no assertion; Jesper’s grin is almost bashful, his voice easy and bright. He doesn’t sound like a king, just a seventeen-year-old boy trying to flirt. Arc can’t help but return his smile.

“I’m Arc,” he says. “Normally I’m a student at Knight School, but I’m the princess’s guard and escort for the night.”

“Wait,” Aadhya pauses her conversation with Ciara to lean over and look at him, “You’re the Arc who defeated Ryker?”

“I helped,” Arc says with a shrug, and the princess’s eyes go wide. She turns to Ciara.

“Were you there too?”

“I was—” Ciara pauses for a moment, “hiding. I was hiding. Arc got me to safety.”

He grins a little at her, tongue between his teeth, knowing it must be killing her to hide what she was actually doing. She narrows her eyes and kicks his leg under the table in response, a silent shut up. He lifts his eyebrows, like, I didn’t say anything, and she rolls her eyes in an entirely non-subtle manner.

Across the table, Queen Damyanti is watching their exchange with a raised eyebrow, Arc notices belatedly. She has a mildly amused look on her face, but doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, she states, “Battling Ryker face-to-face must have been quite the experience.”

“What was it like?” Prince Kavan asks eagerly from beside his sister.

Aadhya elbows him. “Kavan,” she hisses, but Arc just grins.

“No worries. It was…” he trails, trying to think of what to say and suddenly aware that all the royals’ eyes are on him. He shifts in his seat. “It was scary, obviously. He had the Armor of Astoria, and a whole army with him, and most of the Astorian knights under his spell. But, y’know. We Knight School students are pretty formidable. We all took him on together. Wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise. I wasn’t half as scared as I would’ve been without my squadmates watching my back.”

He glances at Ciara, who smiles softly and nudges his foot, gentler this time. Jesper has that same unreadable look on his face and Aadhya has her chin propped in her hand, her expression amazed, but Queen Luciana gives a snide sort of scoff.

“It’s a wonder it took so long to defeat him, then, if a group of students cut him down so easily,” she says. “Perhaps Ryker was never as great a threat as we all made him out to be.”

There’s a cut of silence across the table in which Jesper visibly stiffens. “With all due respect, Queen Luciana, Ryker’s attacks were devastating. Or have you forgotten what happened to my parents?” he demands, without any respect at all. His eyes are blazing.

“I’m merely pointing out that the only real damage done was to the less...fortified kingdoms,” she sniffs. “Ryker only breached Catalias’s walls once, and he was driven out rather quickly.”

“Well, not every kingdom has Catalias’s resources.” Ciara sounds like she’s choosing her words carefully, frustration masked well behind them.

King Hugo gives a huff of a laugh; his blue eyes are cold. “My dear princess, you have no cause for indignation. Astoria lost the least to Ryker, what with your,” he waves a hand, “magic bubble.”

Ciara opens her mouth but falters, brow furrowed, and across the table, Queen Damyanti speaks up. “Nevertheless, Ryker was still a formidable enemy to all of us. We were only prepared for his attacks because he targeted Seagate and Vysalt first. And Seagate’s destruction is a clear example of his power.”

“Oh, even you can’t argue that Seagate was rotting long before Ryker got to it, Damyanti,” Hugo replies swiftly, and Arc’s breath catches in his throat. Queen Damyanti shrugs in agreement, her expression passive; Arc almost stands up, but Ciara’s hand on his leg underneath the table stops him.

“Don’t,” she hisses, just barely loud enough for him to hear, “Let me handle this.”

Though as it turns out, she doesn’t have to. Before she has a chance to speak, Jesper is already bristling, his voice sharp: “As if Seagate’s corruption justifies the destruction of its people?”

“It’s thieves and criminals, you mean?” Isaac scoffs. “Seagate was a wasteland. The kingdoms are better off.”

The words ring in Arc’s ears, alongside the pounding of his blood. They sound painfully similar to what Ryker had said to him on the mountain—rats and thieves, I did the five kingdoms a favor—and he thinks fleetingly that he’s going to be sick. He’s always known that Seagate was looked down on by the other kingdoms, but hearing them say so casually that what happened, the flames and the destruction and all of the death, was deserved—

“The people were only thieves and criminals because Catalias took advantage of them,” Jesper argues. “I hope I don’t have to remind you that it was your government that poured money into the gangs of Seagate for their own profit and allowed them to stage a coup in the first place.”

The words are deadly and cold, but Arc feels a flash of admiration for Jesper; the king has no obligations towards Seagate, and yet defends it like his own. King Hugo’s gaze hardens. “You’re blaming Catalias for Seagate’s problems?” he says with a derisive laugh. “If anything, Ryker’s attacks only revealed that Seagate was a kingdom full of people that weren’t worth saving.”

“That’s enough,” Ciara says abruptly. Her hand tightens on Arc’s leg, and he can no longer tell if he’s the one trembling or if she is. There’s this burning fire behind her eyes; she looks, Arc thinks briefly, the same way she does in battle. “What happened to Seagate was a devastating tragedy, and I won’t let you treat it as otherwise. Those who disagree aren’t welcome here.”

It’s a weighted statement, one she doesn’t entirely have the formal authority to make, but no one dares to contest it. A heavy silence settles over all of them. Arc doesn’t know how long he can sit there with all the heat under his skin; he doesn’t remember when his hand found the hilt of his sword, only that he’s gripping it tight enough that the leather bites into his palm. He wants to stand up and tell them that none of them would be here if it weren’t for him, a thief from Seagate. In truth, the only thing holding him back is Ciara. In a battle between her steady hand and the storm in his chest, she wins without even trying.

He doesn’t say anything or look at her, but her gaze flits to him for a moment and she just knows, standing up. Before she even opens her mouth, Isaac is on his feet too. “Going so soon?” he asks. “Would you care to dance, Princess?”

She looks at him coolly for a moment. “I would, actually.” And then, she turns to Arc, offering him her hand, “Sir Arc, dance with me?”

Arc blinks up at her and takes it as he stands. “Absolutely, Princess,” he says, letting her lead him away from the table and glancing back only long enough to catch the dumbfounded expression on Isaac’s face.

#oop #knight squad #knight squad fanfic #tiara thief #tiara thief fic #writing #my writing #fanfiction #arc #ciara #ks #//umanawrites #learn to love without consuming

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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