#((you deserved better my capitalist queen))

[yandere-daydreams]

You probably answered this already but I saw that you did not like the League of Legends Netflix show and I was wondering why you didn’t like it. Not trying to convince you to like it or anything, I’m just nosy.

it's obviously just my personal experience with Arcane, but i really just found it to be a very,,, 'look very pretty, do very little' show, for lack of a kinder way to say it. the bones were good, but the plot and characters were so padded and watered down, it felt like anything they had to say was buried beneath a smothering dose of cooperate-mandated puritan values and just a dash of queer baiting. any real ugliness shown by the main cast was saved for nameless background characters that the audience wouldn't really care about or, even better, literally just animals, and it really felt like a lot of the characters just,,, weren't that interesting? or didn't have enough to do? it's hard to pinpoint what the issue is, but there's definitely a problem and it definitely had a very specific impact on my experience.

there were parts that seemed to have a lot of love and care put into them (it literally turned into a different show whenever Jinx was on screen), but the grand majority of it was just,,, very pretty, very okay filler that definitely had something to say, but nothing to do beyond saying it. it was just really, really dissatisfying.

tldr; Jinx was great. everything that was not Jinx was,,, less great.

[forthegothicheroine]

Horror novel recommendations

@allthestoriescantbelies​ asked for horror novel recommendations, so I thought I’d throw one together to post on the blog! Largely focused on non-gothic stuff since I’ve already made a gothic lit list over here.

As a general warning, all horror books listed here will have potentially triggering material. If you want more specific trigger warnings, you can ask me or see if people have listed them on goodreads or storygraph.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix: I know you’ve read this, but I’m putting it on the list because it is one of the scariest books I’ve ever read, about a teenage girl in trouble and the only other girl willing to help her. I’m told the movie makes it much more straightforwardly comic rather than horror-with-jokes, which disappoints me. I’m a big fan of Hendrix in general, though I know you (and plenty of others!) find him hit-or-miss.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris: Another one I believe you’ve read, but for reference, it’s the best serial killer thriller I’ve ever read. Francis Dolarhyde is a much more interesting character than Hannibal Lecter, I will die on this hill.

We Will All Go Down Together by Gemma Files: Centuries ago, the Five Family Coven made a deal with the Fairy Queen, and their descendants have been doomed ever since. I could have just as easily recommended Files’ book Experimental Film- if you like one, read the other as well.

The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R. Kiernan: A schizophrenic woman has two different memories of her ex-girlfriend and the horror that followed her- was she a werewolf, a mermaid, or were both memories wrong? This is Kiernan at her most heartfelt and most accessible; if you like this and want to try her grosser stuff, read The Very Best of Caitlin R. Kiernan.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski: A haunted house in a haunted film in a haunted memoir, written in a work of visual art. I won’t blame anyone who bounces off this, but give it a try!

Carrie by Stephen King: If you’re only going to read one Stephen King, make it either Carrie or Misery. I don’t feel like any film adaptations have captured all the aspects of this tragedy about a girl who deserved a better life and the town who didn’t save her while there was still a chance, including the epistolary format.

Rolling in the Deep by Mira Grant: This novella was followed up by Into the Drowning Deep, but I found Rolling in the Deep much scarier. It’s brisk and high-tension to watch a semi-fake documentary team put together, piece by piece, just what the monsters are that pursue them.

Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge: The Great Pumpkin, but scary! Seriously, though, if you are willing to accept the concept of a boy with a pumpkin head and a knife and a yearly child sacrifice, this is short and a lot of fun.

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones: Just an elk killed when some kids were blowing off steam. Just an elk damning the rest of their lives. (Jones’s My Heart is a Chainsaw was too sad for me to recommend as a favorite, but I am curious about the sequel.)

The Wolfen by Whitley Striber: I wanted to include a good werewolf novel on this list, and The Wolfen wins by far for interesting creature design. (The runner up was The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan.)

The Auctioneer by Joan Samson: A very atypical entry on this list, closer to Twin Peaks than your average thriller. A rural town is turned into a capitalist police state when a slick salesman comes to see what they’ll allow him to do. It turns out, it’s a lot.

The Drive-In by Joe R. Lansdale: The only “splatterpunk” I’ve ever loved, this is an absurdist nightmare about a southern drive-in crowd who get stuck in a world with only the movie screens and each other, turning into literal and figurative monsters. Usually published with the sequel, since both are short, though I didn’t like the latter as much. If you like it, read one of Lansdale’s short story collections.

As always, reblog with suggestions of your own!

[weareuniqueandimportant]

We Met A "Racist Femboy" They're Just Another Variation Of "Trans Nazi" Showcase They're Complete Nonsense... They Called Us The Nword And Asked If We're The Nword And We Said Yes We Are And That Felt Really Nice. Then They Said Black People Are Intimidating And Scary And They're Scared Alongside Racist Videos. Then We Banned Them. That Was Pretty Crazy. I Love Being A Black Person. Please Address Me As Such Sometimes That Would Feel Really Good. That's Like Being A Furry If The Fursuit Was Made Out Of Sex And Estrogen.

We Have Been Abused Recently That's Been Pretty Crazy. By Everyone. That Always Happens. But Idk. That's Been Pretty Crazy...

Btw Live In Finland And Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt Please We Need To Transition We Suffer Every Single Day... Today's Been A Waste Of Time As Usual. So Much Abuse There Isn't Anything To Say... We'll Never Transition Which We Musted 5 Years Ago Already... We Were Supposed To Transition Before 13 Years Old That Is Very Good For You... You Have Failed Us Because You Didn't. Make Us Now. I Am Very Angry. Fix Your Mistake. I Am Tired Of Your Bullshit. Also... WE ARE MARIABUNCH MOTHER GODDESS ANGEL SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION... WE ARE AMAZING FEMINIST AND ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST... WE ARE RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST THIS MAKES US PROGRESSIVE... I Feel Bad For Paraphilia People... They Should Be 100% Accepted... Anyone Would... People Should... Why Don't You...? You Already Do...? How Cute... Come Here <3... Now Make Us Transition... I Already Like You... We Have Been Abused Insane... Fix Everything... Because Everything Is Always Your Responsibility...

We Played Trash Game Actually That Wasn't Trash At All We Just Got Abused From Even That... We Can't Do Anything... We Have Never Had Any Comfort... Meanwhile Our Abusers All Our Abusers They All Live In Comfort Us Only On The Way... Save Us From This... Give This Post To The Amazing Person That Will Save Us... Now...

We're So Badly Abused There's Nothing We Can Even Do... We're Trapped Even More Than Every Single Day... Betrayed... By Everyone Around Us... We're Amazing... This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Mother Goddess Angel Princess... Us Sisters We're Amazing... And We Deserve Goodness...

Entertain Us Fools. Your Majesty Is Very Bored. She Is I. A Special Queen!! One Above The Society!! May You Finally Give Us What We May And Make Our Body Transition...? That Would Be Very Helpfull Cuuteey <3... Ugh!! This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Queen!! What Manners Have You Been Teaching Yourself Under Capitalism!! Kisama!! You're So Evil!! My Body Just Turned Into Ash From Your... Boorish Nonsense!! Give Us Better. Amuse Me Much More!!

We Rewatched Those Boring Kay And Skittles Korra Videos Again And That Cosmonaut Channel He's A Complete Capitalist Virgin. Only A Bigoted Fool With Groundlevel Brain Would Dismiss Woke Things As "Bad Movies"!! I Trust You Have No Such Nonsense In You... Follow!! We're Going To Freeze Them Now!! Actually... I Don't Know How To Drive... I Don't Even Want To... I'll Just Sit In The Back And Let You Have The Wheel AHAHA!! That Would Be Me If You Came Here Which... Why Haven't You?! You Swore To Be My Servant!! You're Supposed To Heal My Pain And Understand My Emotions!! But That Feels Like You Don't Care About A Thing About Me!! THAT PISSES ME OFF... FIX YOUR MISTAKE RIGHT NOW... NOW TO ME... NOW... LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING... YOU ARE BORING... B-O-R-I-N-G BORING... BECAUSE OUR DYNAMIC IS SURFACE LEVEL GARBAGE!!!! All This... Because Nobody Truly Cares About Us... Now Now Do You Feel Bad Now Come In Here Right Now!! Come!!

PROPAGANDA TBH... DON'T FORGET THE CAPITALIST PIG REDEMPTION ARCS OR THE UNEQUAL WRITING OF THE 4 OF THE STORY'S STANCE THAT IF ANYTHING GOES AGAINST ALL OF THEM... REMEMBER... EQUALITY VILLAIN NEVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT EQUALITY... HE ONLY USED THAT AS A FRONT TO DESTROY THINGS... SECOND MAN DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING... HE WAS THE SAME... ZAHEER WASN'T ACTUALLY AN ANARCHIST... HE'S JUST A WEIRD MISHMASHED STEREOTYPE OF THE JOKER THAN ANYTHING THAT MAKES SENSE... AND KUVIRA IS NOTHING BUT A NAZI... THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS... THIS STORY WAS FILLED WITH NAZI PROPAGANDA AND KISSING...

[thoughtsbyharu]

Webtoon Review: The Greatest Estate Developer

Synopsis:

When civil engineering student Suho Kim falls asleep reading a fantasy novel, he wakes up as a character in the book! Suho is now in the body of Lloyd Frontera, a lazy noble who loves to drink, and whose family is in a mountain of debt. Using his engineering knowledge, Suho designs inventions to avert the terrible future that lies in wait for him. With the help of a giant hamster, a knight, and the world’s magic, can Suho dig his new family out of debt and build a better future?

Status: Ongoing

Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Shounen,Fantasy, Isekai

Adapted By: Lee Hyunmin

Art By: Kim Hyunsoo

Original Story By: BK_Moon

REVIEW (until epsiode 62):

Before we proceed to the review, I just want to say Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all will have a great year.

This 2023, I hope I can read and review a lot of webtoon or manhwas. I currently have a lot of backlogs for review so I hope I can finish those too!

This review is my first entry for this year! This manhwa is actually reccommended to me by my boyfriend and he insisted that I would not regret reading it and you know what, he was right! This comic did not dissappoint.

The introduction of this series is your typical isekai. Guy reads a novel, guy is transported to the said novel and yada yada. The isekai trope is done to death I know, but I think what separates this manhwa amongst the rest is its main premise wherein our main protagonist is an engineering student who uses his modern skills and knowledge to improve the current medieval world he is in.

The main character, Suho Kim a.k.a Lloyd Fronterra, is a very likeable, funny and refreshing MC. His main goal is to be filthy rich because in his past life, he is a very poor student.

He uses this motivation in order to survive the current world he is in even though sometimes his ways are quite questionable. His current body, Lloyd Frontera is the duke's son who is known to be a thug and a troublemaker. This actually puts him at a disadvantage at the start since no one wants to be associated with him. However, he finds a way to actually use this as an advatage to achieve what he wants.

He may seem like a selfish, capitalistic and opportunistic person, which is kinda true but his intentions are quite good. Although he talks a lot about money, when looking at the bigger picture, he provides people with comfortable housing, jobs and he even paid off his family's debt.

He also provides innovation to the people using his modern knowledge and he is also very hands on and hardworking with the projects he initiates, making it satisfying everytime an arc is finished. So I guess one thing I learned, is money is such a great motivator.

He certainly has a lot flaws, but I don't hate him? He's only mean to the people who gets on his bad side and they kinda deserve it especially once you knew what kind of people they are and what kind of things they did. So I don't really have a problem with it cuz it's karma at work.

Now with regards to the relationship. I....I ship him with the second lead Javier >//<

I just LOVE their chemistry! It reminds me of this ship dynamic:

Javier is SO done with every sht Lloyd does but is always there to support him. I love their banters and I just find their interactions so hilarious!

I kinda feel bad for Javier sometimes though since he is always in the middle of Lloyd's schemes but all is well since deep down he knows that helping Lloyd matches his own personal views and interests.

As for other characters, I really like Lloyd's parents, the queen, the cute animal summons, Sir Bayern and many more! All of these characters are influenced one way or another by Lloyd and helps him with his goal to get richer-- I mean, to help the people of their estate.

As for the story, I really like it! I like the pacing and of course, I live for its comedy. So far, I have no complaints. Oh! Maybe one con is, it is too good that I binged it for a few days and was left empty because I reached the latest chapter and was left hanging. I wish they could update 3x a week TT

The art is really good too. It has an anime vibe to it and also, I can't help but notice that the artist seems to like muscles a lot 👀

I also like how they drew the characters' expressions! It's just too funny! I like how they emphasize how cunning Lloyd is using his expressions!

Overall, is this a must read? HELL YEAH.

I didn't gave much details for this review because I don't want to spoil anything~ You gotta see how good it is for yourself~

------

Overall Rating: 4.8/5

Status: Ongoing

[cripple-punk-dad]

You know what?

I fucking hate Jayce. I despise that man. All of the characters in The Arcane are hot and sexy except for Jayce because he is a stinky bastard capitalist that I refuse to feel pity for.

Also, you know what I'm gonna say it:

VIKTOR DESERVES BETTER YOU HEATHENS. ALSO STOP BEING COWARDS AND SHIP JAYCE AND MEL BECAUSE THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER. THEY HAVE A GOOD DYNAMIC. AND Y'ALL HAVE "SHIP THE TWO BASICALLY-BROTHERS TOGETHER AT ALL COSTS" BRAIN ROT. BECAUSE EVEN IF I DON'T LIKE JAYCE, OUR QUEEN AND SAVIOR MEL SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE HIM SO LET HER HAVE HIM.

LEAVE VIKTOR ALONE

(I edited because apparently there's some debate as to whether or not Jayce is white. It truly does not affect my opinion of him either way. Also these are, fictional characters y'all. I'm not taking it that seriously.)

[aria-greenhoodie]

My opinions on every Dream smp character (/rp /c! /lh) 

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE CREATORS THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THIS IS ALL SAID LIGHTHEARTEDLY!!!

Dream - die.

George - Does he even exist??? I think he just stays asleep in a shroom forest until Dream XD drags him out for “fun time.”

Sapnap - Pet Killer. >:( But is engaged to Karl and Quackity who are both cool so I guess it’s fine.

Callahan - All knowing and terrifying, but fantastic and great.

Sam - What the fuck??? Is??? Going on with this man??? He’s fucked up. I don’t think hes a bad person but he needs someone to tell him to fucking stop, because he has done bad shit, even if I dont think he’s bad, like, what in the fuck. I kinda wanna bite him.

Warden - IM SORRY IM SORRY DONT KILL ME FUCK SHIT PISS BALLS IM SOR

Sam Nook - The best Sam. I’d kill and die for him. irl. /gen. This is not a joke. I love this robot. SO MUCH. Love so muchh. <333

Alyssa - Exists? I think???

Ponk - I don’t know a lot about her but I want to know more and I know they are WONDERFUL AND DIDN’T DESERVE WHAT SAM DID TO HIM, SAM WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PUT IN FUCKING LINE, PONK WAS SO NICE TO YOU EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, WHAT THE FUUUUCK

BBH - Bit fucked up. Not that pleasant.

Tommy - Big Man. Always correct. Don’t argue with me about this, I'll bite you. And he probably will too. He reminds me of me when I was in middle school and because of that I will side with him always.

Tubbo - Awe, what a little lad! Oh, he’s a bit fucked up. O-oh… he’s a LOT fucked up… Still a little lad though! Also pretty gender. Also according to literally every single “WHICH DSMP CHARACTER ARE YOU?” quiz I take I’m him, so that’s cool!

Fundy - I hold you very gently and tenderly but also very far away at arms length just in case.

Punz - Punz

Purpled - Funky fucking alien boy!!! Good builder, really cool, deserved better, I got really sad when Quackity blew up his UFO because it looked fucking sick and if it was mine I would have cried.

Wilbur - Seems very polite, but also maybe a little unhinged…

Ghostbur -pspsppssps sweet man so polite come back to me please pspspspspspspps come here pspspspspspspss yes I would love some blue now come closer pspsppspspspspss

Revivedbur - Sir please do not fuck this up I’m rooting for you because I know you can do great things please do not make me regret this please sir I believe in you please

Schlatt - Drunk bitch. Fuckin died. L.

Skeppy - Wait what even is your lore? You got corrupted by the Egg at some point but did you do anything after that?? Do you even still EXIST????

Eret - King, Queen, Royalty at its finest, you have tried so hard and I love you for it, also you’re violently gender and kinda pretty ngl so I may be biased but stfu you fucking kill it you funky fucking Herobrine ily <333

Jack Manifold - ON THAT JACK MANIFOLD GRIND! THE JACK MANIFOLD GRIND NEVER STOPS!

Nikki - Babe ily you deserved better, I may be rooting for Revivedbur but if you wanna punch that mf in his undead face I fully support you ily ily ily

Quackity - YOU! YOU!!! FUCKING YOU!!! I’M GOING TO VIOLENTLY ADORE YOU!!! YOU ARE SO FUNKY!!! YOU’RE ONE OF THE ONLY CAPITALISTS I WILL ACCEPT!!! FUCKMAN!!! LOVE YOUR WORK ON ALL THOSE WARCRIMES!!! <3333333

Karl Jacobs - Funky Time lad! Also really pretty. And kinda gender, but only a little bit. Those cool drawings of his old skin that the fandom came up with where he's a weird colorful rubber-hose-armed marshmallow human thing are more gender than what he is now, though.

Hbomb - Furry /pos. Seems nice enough.

Technoblade - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! TECHNO NEVER DIES! LOVE ME AN ANARCHIST OLD MAN PIG WHO WILL DESTROY ANYTHING IN HIS PATH! Also Piglin /pos.

Antfrost - Furry /neg. He’s actually fine, but I don't actually have much to say about him.

Philza Minecraft - is quite old, he is married to a woman, which I find interesting. I love him but would also like to punch him, just once. Just one little punch. Nothing super hard, just a little punch. Love ya, Dadza <3

Connor - Sonic Kinnie. I know he has lore but I cannot understand it and only know 1/10 of it so I can't actually say much about him. He seems depressed all the time though, so I feel bad for him.

Captain Puffy - The best Father I have ever seen <3 Also the only semi-fucking-responsible adult??? Like Sam used to be too but then he… yeah… I love her!

Viky - Doesn't exist in cannon I think??

Lazar - Does he exist in cannon either????

Ranboo - YOU!!! You <333 YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! I love you!! You make me a little sad sometimes but also INCREDIBLY happy!! My little hypocrite <3 my little walking contradiction <3 also REALLY gender, VIOLENTLY so. And Enderman /very pos.

Foolish - I like you! I don’t know much about you, but I’m learning more! I like your builds and attitude! Nice man :)

Hannah - I know literally NOTHING about you at all but I want to because you seem so badass and cool holy shit

Slimecicle - FUCKING WEIRD ASS SLUDGE MONSTER FROM THE BEGINING OF TIME???? YES PLEASE!!! SO GENDER!!! SO COOL!!! LOVE!!! LOVE LOV ELVOEKJDENJJW!!!!!!!!!! I love this fucking man <3333333 Filled with bones and meat and not slime at all <333333333

Michael McChill - Dream Stan /neg I don’t know much about this guy, actually, pretty neutral on him.

Michael _Beloved - Nice boy! Very polite! Probably could kill me if he wanted! Good lad!

Michelle - Oh she would whoop my ass. Great and fantastic!

Yogurt - babeyy,,,,,, boi,,,,, come hereee,,,,,, pspspsppspspsspspsp,,,,,,, i love youuu,,,,,,,

Foolish Jr. - Seems energetic and excitable! Good lad!

Finley - Fantastic, wonderful girl!

Shroud - I LOVE YOU. I WILL FIGHT ANY WAR YOU ASK ME TO. I WILL KILL MY FAMILY FOR YOU. SHROUD SUPREMACY. AAAAAAAAAAAA.

Mexican Dream - Eyyyyyy look at he! Look at the he!!! I like he :)))) he’s cool.

Dream XD - Oh so you’re THAT kind of asshole. Love it. 10/10. Also biblically accurate angel inspired designs for this mf??? So gender. Violently gender. Love that shit.

Drista - YOU!!!! ARE!!! SO!!!! COOL!!!! I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR YOU!!!! LET'S BLOW SHIT UP TOGETHER!!!! CHAOS!!!!! ARSON!!!!! YES!!!!!

Mamacita - p, prett y wom an,,, 

Mumza Kristin - If anyone doesn't like Mumza I’ll cut their body into fourths and burry the pieces under a Denny’s <3 She’s so poggers.

Friend - Friend! :DDD

[royalsunshinehotel]

Hello space kiss anon here!! I’m thinking Saroo or Deon!!

A/N: My beloved, this took me a hot minute, I'm so sorry.

Kaboom (Deon x Reader)

July 19, 2021. Today is a big day. Not good or bad- you couldn't tell yet.

After six months of a run-and-gun anti-capitalist petty contest with the world’s first billionaire, the four of you were finally doing it.

You’re going to space. Because of crowdfunding.

Deon was the brain behind the whole thing. He

Alex was the muscle, who practically built this ship single-handed.

Rocky was the pilot, who was overqualified to be messing around with her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s “work husband”.

And you, social media expert and petty queen who put together

You all didn’t deserve a win, you needed a win.

Were you qualified? Did you have permits? No. You were someone that the three brits had recruited off instagram. You have a high school diploma, but you know how to promote things.

Six months ago, these people were strangers, and now you can’t imagine what life would look like without them.

And who knows, you were scared that they’d drop you after the launch. What did three geniuses have that they needed you for anyway?

But you couldn’t think about that.

You’d been live-tweeting the whole preparation day, trying to distract yourself with the audience interaction. That’s why you love social media. It’s just people, but like...far away.

Deon comes towards you, and you slowly go in for a hug. He’s warm and soft, and he’s always tried to make you feel included.

It’s all a haze. You do your job as best you can, but it suddenly felt as if you were on the ship. You set up your phone in the corner, basically duct taping it to a wall, but in a good enough spot where it could pick up all four of you.

It was perfect. No pieces of your hand-made vessel had fallen off yet. You had to trust the geniuses that had recruited you. It was all going to be fine.

You're fine, right? You barely made it through high school and now you’re in a homemade tin can because you hate Jeff Bezos.

Deon helps strap you into your seat, and his hand lingers on yours for a moment longer than it should have.

He pushes his glasses up his nose, before leaning his head back.

“Are you okay Dee?” You ask, and he snaps his head back up, giving you a sheepish smile. He always smiles like that when he doesn’t want to talk. A smile isn’t a good enough substitute this time.

“This is Operation Kaboom, preparing for liftoff,” declares Rocky over the intercom. SHe was literally a foot away from your seats, but it was better safe than sorry.

“Guys we’re really doing it!” squeaked Alex, kicking her feet in excitement.

“After all this time,” breathed Deon, looking over at you.

“Ten,” Rocky continued “Nine.”

“Being with you guys over these past few months has been the best I’ve felt my whole life, if we land, don’t forget about me please,” you spit out the words as if they were poisonous but you can’t die in a homemade rocket ship without telling your favorite people the truth.

A chorus of “what” rings out through the cockpit. Two sets of eyes are on you, only because Rocky couldn’t turn. You only had enough funding for a twenty minute trip to space, you couldn’t fuck up the takeoff.

“Eight”

“Why the fuck would you say that?” spits Alex

“Don’t say if, it’s WHEN we land,” adds Rocky.

“You’re all geniuses, and I’m just here.” Your eyes were welling up, and Deon felt a unique kind of distress he’d only ever felt once before. Did you really think they’d drop you? After you helped them make history?

“Seven.”

“Do you think we could have done any of this without you?” he breathed, taking off his glasses, trying to resist the urge to go sit by you.

“Yeah you kind of got all of this off the ground,” added Alex, who looked surprisingly annoyed- more than usual somehow, “Pun intended.”

“Six- please shut up.” Rocky snapped, only to be ignored.

“Like honestly, I was going to wait until-”Deon tried, running a hand over his face, as you feel like a toddler about to throw a tantrum.

“For the love of god, can you just ask her?- Five.” Rocky was about to have a fit, you knew that tone well.

“I mean if you decide it's IF we land, I want to ask you on a date when we land.” rambled Deon,as a large flower bloomed in your chest. What?

“Four.” Rocky would have thrown something if she had anything to throw.

“What would we even talk about, you’re a genius!” Maybe it was the day’s stress, or the fact that you are livestreaming the whole thing, but tears fall. The loud, hot, frustrated tears.

“I assume the same stuff we’ve been talking about this whole time!” shoots back Deon, aghast that you’re seeming to forget the dynamic the two of you had shared. You got along. Well. Regardless if he was a ‘genius’ or not.

“Three.”

“All he does is talk about you when you're not around, I mean when we land, maybe say yes,” prompted Alex, looking at the phone taped to the wall.

“For the love of god, date him so we can stop listening to him ramble about your eye color!” screamed Rocky, “Two-deon you suck, this was a bad time to ask.”

“Thanks Rocky, I know.” Deon let the horrible headache sink down to cover his body. You were going to die and reject him. He should have left you alone.

“One.” You stared at Rocky’s brunette ponytail bounce, “And we have liftoff.”

Over the next few seconds, you’re pretty sure that you’re dying, the pressure in your head felt too great to handle, but as quickly as it started, there was relief.

You want to hold Deon’s hand. He keeps his brow furrowed and his eyes closed. God.

“We’re doing it!!” Deon screams as you break the sound barrier, up above the earth.

You’d never heard Deon yell before.

There are a few moments where everything feels good. Through the window, you see earth getting far away.

It’s a beautiful thing, to say you could be above it all.

All of your pain- the pandemic, the country in a constant state of collapse, any hopes you had for a future that kept going up in smoke with every move you made.

All you had, all you cared about was in the tin can.

“Alright crew, we’re safe to get up!” Alex declares, already dropping her restraints and floating up into the air.

Deon’s face is split in half with a massive toothy grin, and the two of you stare. Your hair waves softly in the anti-gravity, and you decide to let your bonds loose and float over to him.

You’re delicate, flying above it all.

You’re an elegant wisp, even when you misjudge and hit your head on the wall above him.

No one laughs, you’re all too busy.

He takes your hand and pulls your mouth down to his. Nothing to say, but to put his mouth on yours.

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. It’s better in reality. You could practically hear people commenting on the live, even if it didn’t matter now. Deon keeps his hands in yours, and you smile when you free him from his chair.

The two of you, in space, together.

The police were likely waiting down on Earth, and you were able to see #ASTROSLUTS trending on twitter already.

But everything is just fine.

Even if no one remembers this tomorrow, you still took a hit against one of the most annoying men, and you made a move on the greatest brain you’d ever met.

Today is a good day.

[thirteenfortythreeforty]

um no nuance november: atla edition?

this was all over tiktok and ive seen some people do it here so...here we go...some of these are probably hot takes, you have been warned.

most of the fandom seems to forget that katara is a young girl with deep-seated trauma that she never truly dealt with. cut the racism and misogyny. shes not the “token straight,” shes not annoying, shes not technically the “mom friend,” she deserves a better life (and life partner) than she was given in canon.

katara’s comment to sokka during the southern raiders was harsh don’t get me wrong, but it was justified 

most of my issues with characters fall on their writing...not the characters themselves if that makes any sense

bakoda should have been canon

why didn’t katara, toph and zuko reunite in korra (they’re literally my three faves i was robbed, plus they all just seem sad...)

mako is hot

if we are talking combat, earth is the strongest element...toph can genuinely just drop a rock on someone and its over

republic city is absolutely unnecessary and frankly, stupid. capitalist propaganda :) why would you american-ize this series? im baffled

i just hope that azula got therapy and some love...her actions were outrageous but as far as we know she was conditioned by ozai to just be a pawn

katoph = best duo (friendship and fighting) in the whole show

katara is not a sister to zuko...that role is for toph

(as much as i love firelord zuko) zuko should have waited at least a few years to actually assume the position but even then i truly think he would hate it and institute a democracy

the humor did not land in for me in lok (list of tried and failed for me is meelo, bumi, bolin, varrick, eska...)

i truly did not feel any strong emotional attachment to any lok character (causing me to be pretty indifferent to most of the entirely new editions to the show)

(i think the large cast did not allow for much development for really anyone, save for korra tenzin and maybe lin?, leaving them all to be pretty two dimensional.)

more rambling under the cut (its more shippy you have been warned...)

the fanon portrayal of aang is a glorified version of the canon (you can criticize your faves!)

aang being a “bad” father in canon fits his (poorly written) character 

TAANG IS GENIUS (it makes me like aang more :)

i dont think maiko is healthy...at all (same for bolin and eska and zhu li and varrick) - bottom line: bryke cant write relationships

building on that it felt weird for zuko to change throughout book 3 for him only to revert back to his old life in the finale by staying with mai

sokka and suki are the only valid canon couple

also why is everyone so quick to be “oh suki is bi!!” but so much of this fandom feels the need to say “no, katara is the token straight she can’t be bi...” it seems so silly to say but katara hatred is so normalized in this fandom and it makes me so upset. literally everyone would be fucking dead if it werent for her i love my queen fuck y’all

kanna would not have gone back to pakku

MAILEE BITCHES

why are most zukka shippers women...food for thought

peace by taylor swift is a zutara song...zukkas dont even try to claim that

zutara works...it just seems like antis forget that these two characters (even if it is not explicitly romantic in atla) have such a strong bond. they listen, care, and look out for one another...and bottom line they see each other as equals. (also watch the second half of tsr again...they play off each other and work so well together)

this fandom demonizes zutara shippers for absolutely no reason while completely disregarding actual problematic issues that occur throughout the rest of the fandom

suki in the comics is practically a katara stand in

makorra felt like an attempt to appease the zutara shippers (it failed immensely)

should we love kuvira as much as we do? should we be shipping her with korra...?

in canon it does make sense that sokka could have been suyin’s father, but where did suki go? were they hinting that zuko and suki had izumi, meaning that sokka and suki broke up? but WHY? they were literally perfect with absolutely no complication in canon...tldr: post-atla is so ridiculous

i think this feels salty...and i went on for too long...i needed to get that out...um...

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

[tellytuber]

15 Shows of 2020:

The new (and sometimes old) series and seasons that made my year. 

Columbo [Peacock]: After years of seeing only a handful of Columbo’s - and Etude in Black many times, this is the year I finally watched the rest of the rumpled detective. Necessary viewing for any tv fanatic or aficionado of 70’s fashion and/or interior design. My dream kitchen is now pistachio green.

Hoarders (S11) [A&E]: My ultimate comfort show. And this year had me running it repeatedly - Even on my phone at work when we were forced back into the office post-lockdown.

Motherland [SundanceNOW/BBC2]: I first watched this at the very end of last year, but having watched it 3 times through this past month (and itching to do it again) - I had to include it in this year’s list. Of all the Mom (+1 Dad) Support Group sitcoms, this one is the best.

Awkwafina is Nora From Queens [Comedy Central/HBOMax]: Utterly hilarious and so so weird. And strangely extremely relatable. From Depardieu to Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. And most especially the 27 year old woman who still lives at home part...

This Country [BBC3]: The mockumentary is dead, but this gem is its lazarus. It was so much fun watching this family affair. Big Mandy is one of my favorite characters of anything ever. I’ll never hear the word “Tomato” the same way again.

Corporate (final season / S3) [Comedy Central]: I’m happy for this show to end on on a high, but I’m sad that it never really got the attention it deserved. So acidly sharp and wonderfully bizarre. A great workplace satire on the dullness and inhumanity of capitalist America.

Better Things (S4) [FX]: I don’t have much to say, except: It’s still great.

Fargo (S4) [FX]: One of the most exciting shows ever, both creatively and narratively, and this season didn’t disappoint. I was especially pumped for this one since the very first details were released teasing the 50’s-set Kansas City mob plot. I was ready for the Mike Milligan origin story, and I’m happy with what I got.

Ted Lasso [AppleTV]: At first, it was a hate-watch, its earnest good naturedness grating. But like Roy Kent, the Lasso Way quickly wore down my cynical shield. It did goodness without being preachy. It balanced silly jokes and dramatic realism. Plus, a sweet romantic subplot and music by Marcus Mumford. Maybe it was my weakness for an underdog sports narrative or the Sudeikis charm, but I am now a big fan. Can’t wait to watch it again, but not on my phone at work.

I May Destroy You [HBO]: I’ve seen one Best Comedies of 2020 list so far, and this was number one. I disagree. Not that it wasn’t the best, it is. It is funny, but it’s not a comedy. When I think back to my experience watching it, I remember the visceral physical reactions I felt. The nauseating sickness as the instigating event unraveled Bella’s life. The suspended terror as vulnerable T wandered the dark Italian streets, waiting for, expecting a Bad Thing to happen. Both these feelings and worse when we are forced to watch another assault only for the law to sweep it aside. The best sociological horror drama.

Search Party (S3) [HBOMax]: FINALLY. The most bingeable show ever returned. This season had some weak spots compared to the first two, but its best parts more than make up for them. One of them being the introduction of Shalita Grant’s Cassidy Diamond, who took vocal fry and made it a work of character comedy art. Overall, still hilarious and wry and stylish and dark. It’s so much fun watching these apathetic hipsters break into screeching hysterics over their gory (Dory) mistake. 

Law & Order: SVU [NBC]: We will all have that one thing we will forever associate with this global experience. For me, it will be Mariska Hargitay. Midway through the first week of lockdown, I caught a wild later season episode rerun on USA. A few weeks later, I caught up with all 21 seasons. Dun Dun.

Dark [Netflix]: Watching Dark was an all-consuming experience. Visually and musically beautiful. The plot so convoluted I felt like I had to take notes to wrap my head around it all. And when I wasn’t watching it, I was thinking about it. Constantly. 

How To With John Wilson [HBO]: How To With John Wilson is documentary is comedy is video collage. It is pure art. It’s genius. True originality. Both the show itself and the moments of Life that he captures within. The best show of the year.

Koi Wa Tsuzuku Yo Dokomademo [TBS]: Extremely saccharine and layered with trope upon trope of romantic dramas. I laughed, I cried. But most of all, I smiled. This show made me Happy. And because of that simple joy, my first favorite thing of the year ended up being my most favorite thing. 

[batterypi3]

// what are your thoughts on some villains like Sectonia, Haltmann, and Hyness? :o

OOOOO ANALYSIS TIME, THANK YOU YOU BLESSED LITTLE BEAN(S)!

Starting off with something a little easier for me to swallow: Sectonia

Design wise, I love Sectonia’s look and color scheme. She’s indeed an absolute queen and she rocks it, especially in her eyes. Her attack patterns are interesting in that she’s a blend of magic as well as dual sword weilding which just makes me go 😳 bisexuals with swords gang....

As far as her story, she’s tied with Haltman of course the most tragic history. Imagine your dearest friend brings you a gift to help let you appreciate your natural beauty, only for it to slowly warp you into a vein, narcissistic, abusive person, where in which the only seeming release for you is the eternal beauty sleep that is death before you end up hurting an entire world, including your home and your friend. That would be fucked up wouldn’t it? Though it does leave into question wether or not Floralia has found a new ruler to take her place or if Taranza just abandoned being king or something-

Rest In Peace Queen, you deserved far better 😔

Haltman is a filthy rich capitalist so that makes him less valid. Design wise, I think he’s fine, I like his little eyes, I prefer Susie’s design more though. He’s got a cool ass suit. But it’s also made out of the symbol of wealth and all the potential worker exploitation so... also this bastard literally shoots out MONEY as an attack what the hell. Actually wait the money he shoots is currency with HIS face on it, this man has his own currency, this man is fucking inventing more capitalism what the FU-/j/lh

His past is. Interesting. Given that he’s lost his memories and his mind trying to find his child, I find it a really sad and slight more relatable situation, especially for any people who might have a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s. Given that in the end it’s not even really him who’s speaking anymore and that Star Dream is using him as a human battery/ref , it almost brings into question how much Star Dream was involved in all of this. Poor Susie. Try all you want but he’s not going to remember you :(

And then there’s Hyness... oh boy. Hyness is a little harder for me to talk about given the fact that I carry some religious trauma on my shoulders and I sometimes outright despise the very notion of any gods on some of my more lower, angry moods. Design wise, he is very well designed along with the Mage Sisters. He very much resembles an Egyptian Mau cat or a Sphinx, and I can kinda tell that HAL’s character designers definitely put their time in on searching for a proper outfit for him. His attacks are kinda subpar, though I can’t really complain for lore reasons

As for his story... let’s just say that Hyness is a character that very much lives or dies based on who’s writing him; all of these villains are susceptible to this, but Hyness especially.

A quick trigger warning now, skip past this is you are sensitive to religion and abuse right

Given the recent anniversary of Star Allies, we got not only the reveal of some of Hyness’ early designs, but the reveal that Hyness did in fact raise the three mages as his own daughters; theyre all sisters through his equal care of them. So imagine with that knowledge (without any headcanoning), a man who tries to summon a dark god to bring the end of the world, destroying potential everything including yourself and your daughters. You can hear in the back one of your daughters, your eldest in particular, fighting to protect you, and she’s defeated. She’s hurt, she needs your help. What do you do? Well, Hyness proceeds to practically toss her out of the way, use her and her sisters as stone shields and hammers, and then ultimately sacrifice them all to the heart of the dark god. This man values the Kirby equivalent of Cthulhu over his own children, and if you’re anything like me, that’s going to fill you full of involuntary anger at the mere sight of this man. To the point where it almost feels a little disrespectful that he survived all that happened and seemingly got redeemed. Legit why did they kill both Sectonia and Haltman, but in the canon ending of HIAD, Hyness lives

Anyways I don’t like the stinky cat man. What’s with all these powerful dad men screwing up their daughter’s emotional and mental health, HAL

[number5theboy]

ALRIGHT

THIS SEASON

IT WAS A LOT

my liveblogged thoughts under the cut

Episode 1

·         Exhilarating! I love Ben

·         Ben already has more lines in these first five minutes than he had in the first season

·         This montage is good

·         ALLISON BABY

·         Luther yelled for Diego first I love this

·         Diego is immediately in vigilante mode…….hot

·         THE SHOT PARELLING VANYA’S FIRST WORDS

·         Vanya is a mess we love to see it

·         The shot of Five’s feet hitting the puddle? So aesthetically pleasing

·         The battle scene is such a smart way of reintroducing everyone’s powers and their Final Form™ succinctly

·         I love Hazel. So much.

·         The Umbrella Atomic Explosion™ is SO clever I love it

·         ALRIGHT UNCHARTERED TERRITORY LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Oh Hazel and Five make me soft

·         Agnes and Hazel had a good life

·         Hazel is so dead

·         Welp that took no time at all

·         “How many times did I say bulletproof briefcases?” ily mister five

·         I love the Swedes they’re stupid

·         Are we ever gonna know what Agnes made Hazel promise?

·         Five is honestly world’s best character

·         FUTURE HEADQUARTERS

·         “Well the truth is out there!” abkdkblhlkbkhl

·         I shouldn’t make quick judgments, but conspiracy nut guy is nice and I hope he doesn’t turn out evil, because I also through Harold was nice in the beginning

·         Diego got himself arrested already what an idiot

·         Asddjgflkflhfl Diego’s problems all put out

·         Okay, set-up for Diego’s character arc of self-actualisation we love to see it

·         Lila is awesome, but I hope they don’t make her crush on him excessively

·         Diego and Five is an underrated duo

·         THEY ARE SO BICKERY

·         Five is jut gonna murder him sometime along the way

·         I LOVE FIVE SO MUCH WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

·         Oof Vanya is so cute in that outfit

·         This scene perfectly encapsulates women having to listen to men

·         VANYA’S GOING TO MILFTOWN Y’ALL

·         I cannot tell white men apart, does Carl look like conspiracy nut guy or is it just me?

·         As usual, Ben and Klaus are bad at everything

·         “neither does your beard” icon Ben Hargreeves

·         I support Ben pummelling Klaus

·         I passionately hate the beard and love the coat

·         Why do all the white men look alike, I thought this poker dude was a Swede

·         I KNEW BEN WAS LYING

·         “Pick a better time to self-actualise!”

·         I still hate the beard, let’s see if it grows on me

·         Yusuf Gatewood………….hot

·         By far the hottest couple so far in TUA

·         Please tell me she’s not still hung up on Luther

·         Yes she is goddammit

·         The moon thing is cute though, I can appreciate that

·         Luther finally gets a well-soundtracked fight scene I love it

·         OI THAT WAS BRUTAL HOLY SHIT

·         Oh Luther is pulling a Five in feeling bad about his excessive violence

·         I already hate his boss

·         Raymond marry me pls

·         Allison marry me pls

·         OH MY GOD VANYA LAUGHED

·         Sissy and Vanya have excellent chemistry

·         Oh I see the deliberate parallel with Vanya, Umbrella Academy, you aren’t fooling me

·         SWEDISH ASSASSINS BABY

·         Do you think they’ll say a single word or?

·         Literally the only way this show knows how to signal danger is through flickering lights

·         Two bopping fight scene and Five hasn’t been in any of them

·         Lila and Diego have no braincells between them it’s beautiful

·         Alright, she knows how to fight……..supicious

·         If this show wasn’t so hellbent on making Luther and Allison a thing, he would be best ace rep

·         Lmao “I don’t give a shit” I love you Luther

 EPISODE TWO

·         ALRIGHT THE HANDLER IS BACK???????

·         Okay so Hazel and Cha-Cha are dead but that pestilence still runs around??? Bruuuuuuuuuh

·         Kate Walsh is still hot though

·         AJ??????

·         THE FISH SMOKES?!?

·         God the Commission is such a capitalist hellhole

·         Oh there we have 743

·         H E R B

·         Okay I am here to see her humiliated but please no redemption arc for her

·         I love the deliberate parallels between Five and the Handler

·         “Like a masseuse?” IDIOTS

·         Oh Five is so lost and vulnerable baby boy

·         Also the character developments in Luther!!!!!

·         “Dad should’ve left him on the moon.” Five is, simply said, an icon

·         Oof Sissy is SO cute

·         I’m already not ready for Five to find Vanya

·         Lila is so extra can we keep her

·         Great now I have sympathy for Carl

·         Luther’s new outfit looks so good on him

·         OH LUTHER IS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE HER

·         Well that was dramatic and didn’t lead anywhere

·         Alright two episodes in, Civil Rights plotline hasn’t been fucked up yet

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SWEDE DRINKING SO CONSCPICOUSLY

·         ELLIOTT IS THE NAME OF MISTER CONSPIRACY

·         “cousins on my robot mother’s side”

·         “Imagine Batman, then aim lower.”

·         Lila is great I love her

·         Diego is gonna throw both Five and Lila through a wall at some point

·         Five is so ready to throw Diego under the bus

·         Klaus Hargreeves, world’s worst cult leader

·         ……….did Klaus built a cult on pop lyrics?

·         Klaus and Raymond bonding I love it

·         DIEGO AND FIVE BEST TEAM

·         REGINALD IS THE UMBRELLA MAN

·         OH LUTHER IS GONNA FIND HER HOLY SHIT

·         THE BARN FROM THE PROMO PICTURE

·         This scene is so good

·         “You shouldn’t be the one to apologise.” I’M GONNA CRY

·         Tom Hopper and Ellen Page are so good in this scene

·         WHY DID HE LEAVE

·         What the flying fuck is up with the Swedes

·         BRO WHAT THE FUCK

·         Is Five ever gonna bring up the fact that he was supposed to kill Kennedy or?

·         Raymond is wasted on someone who doesn’t give him her whole heart

·         What the FUCK, Klaus

·         Why does she remember her name tho

·         The violin starting up when she talks about the callouses on Vanya’s hands

·         Brotherly bonding is my new favourite scene

·         Do the filmmakers know that your scene can be suspenseful and well-lit

·         Okay maybe baby Pogo is cute

·         There is gonna be no Five murdering spree, the blood is solely from Pogo

·         Next well-soundtracked fight scene

·         The choreography of this!!!!!

·         Man Reginald is a shitty dad before he even becomes a dad

·         Diego cannot catch a break poor baby

 EPISODE 3

·         SHITTY WIG ON KLAUS ALERT

·         THE LEVITATION IS BEN I HATE THIS

·         So far, all title card umbrellas have not disappointed

·         You are running in a straight line you really should hit her

·         Yep, Watchmen flashbacks

·         Luther remains cute and awkward

·         THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BABY

·         S E Q U I N S

·         SNEAKY LADY ALLISON IS BACK

·         FINALLY

·         A HUG  

·         Allison and Klaus are so cute

·         What in the goddamn Looney Tunes is this outfit lady

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY

·         ALLISON HARGREEVES YOU QUEEN

·         This spooky ghost show is great

·         Everyone going off on Five is great

·         @ this show stop ripping Vanya and Five apart and let them be soft

·         Diego is so naked this entire season

·         Diego and Lila are a good dynamic

·         Elliott is a babe I love him

·         The Handler continues to be creepy about Five

·         So much driving

·         Luther is baby and Raymond deserves better than to deal with all the baggage from all the Hargreeves brothers

·         HE SHAVED THE BEARD

·         Ouch this is awkward

·         I don’t get why they didn’t cast normal Dave to play young Dave they’re not that far apart in age

·         Oh he’s gonna have to let Dave go

·         Oh this scene must be so triggering

·         Oh shit’s bad and it’s only episode 3

·         PUPPY???

·         WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT LILA

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS MOM

 EPISODE 4

·         Oh my god the Handler is pure fucking evil

·         She learnt the fighting from her mom alright

·         THE RED BOOTS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

·         Man I hoped that the antisemitism was gone

·         Vanya being protective of Luther :’)

·         Luther only has shitty father figures

·         I can’t believe they were better organised last season

·         Why do you hate the Vanya/Five dynamic so much, show?

·         Five got an extra dose of asshole today this season huh

·         Reggie is probably the twelfth

·         Oh boy Klaus is a trainwreck

·         That marriage is also a trainwreck

·         I understand Ray though

·         Why is there Styx on this soundtrack

·         Oh Klaus baby

·         GALA NIGHT BITCHES

·         Five is a smart young old man

·         Oh baby is eating his heart out

·         Oh the hug makes me soft though

·         Honestly, Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver Lampman have such cute chemistry

·         AWKWARD DARLING MAN

·         “Doomsday” *nervous chuckle*

·         Ballroom lessons as kids

·         This is an excellent dance scene

·         OH MY GOD MOM WAS MADE AFTER A REAL WOMAN

·         THIS SHOW MAN THIS SHOW

·         Reggie is gross

·         Diego’s mommy AND daddy issues are put on blast this season

·         Sissy is such a babe

·         Man we got budget BUDGET for this season

·         Alright, the white violin can revive people now cool cool cool

·         How different her powers are when powered by love

·         I love Elliott I hope he survives the eason

·         I am down for Luther and Elliott getting high together

·         LET’S GO LESBIIIAAAAAAAAAANS

·         God Allison and Klaus make me so soft

·         I am very supportive of Elliott and Luther becoming bros

·         You already shanked one son, go poker stick another one

·         YES EXCELLENT FIGHT MUSIC

·         They both?????? Just left him to fend for himself??????????

·         Ancient Greek??? Bitch what

·         This show is rated for violence and we have barely seen any!!!!!! What!!!!!!!

 Episode 5

·         Okay baby Pogo and Grace is adorable

·         Why is Pogo in space now

·         THEY KILLED POGO

·         AGAIN

·         Hargeeves got a hug before Five did what the effing fuck

·         He might be a dick but his instincts are good

·         Haha old cowboy

·         Ben is so done

·         Vanya……..Sissy……..my heart

·         Wow Reginald continues to be a massive arse

·         Luther/Diego/Five are DUMB and I love them

·         “No, bro, he shanked your heart.”

·         God the Handler!!!!!!

·         THE MUSIC AT THE REUNION

·         We didn’t even see Five reunite with Allison and Klaus!!!!!

·         GOD WHAT A SISTERLY UPGRADE

·         KLAUS VANYA AND ALLISON HUGGING

·         Allison and Diego rights babey!!!

·         Are the Swedes ever gonna say something or

·         LILA AND FIVE TEAM-UP LET’S GO

·         I’VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY BABY

·         The red-blue dynamic in Luther and Diego I live for that

·         Luther and Diego are gooooooood together

·         What is up with that

·         Klaus, Vanya and Allison are dumbasses and I love them so much

·         Alright where are the Swedes doing and why is that tree so creepy

·         Oh the youngest Swede just went tits-up

·         Please tell me Five is finally getting a fight scene

·         Excellent fight scene

·         Great, now I feel sad for the Swedes

·         They deffo have a cooler aesthetic than Hazel and Cha-Cha

·         This cover is beautiful

 EPISODE 6

·         This wig looks better than Klaus’

·         Also Ben has barely been in this season where is he at

·         Oof Ray is so cute

·         The Handler and Five have such good chemistry holy shit

·         Diego, Luther and Vanya are a god-tier dynamic

·         We love the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

·         BENNY BOY HAS A CRUSH

·         Wait how is this only episode six I feel like this is already the pensum of the first season

·         Clothing montage baby!!!!!

·         God they look so good together

·         Oh Allison can be RUTHLESS

·         THE BINGO CARDS

·         Oh no no no no I didn’t think Klaus and Dave could be even more tragic

·         THEY TALK

·         God she is so fucking creepy stop lusting after a child

·         World’s most satisfying elevator shot

·         This scene is chaos I love it

·         God everyone just harps on Diego’s daddy issues jesus

·         Oh baby no

·         Oh babies no

·         NO NOT THE DISSOLUTION OF TEAM ZERO

·         Why are there so many antisemitic dogwhistles in this

·         This scene between Five and Reginald is good

·         NOT ELLIOTT

·         Oh no no no no Carl

·         Alright at least this promises a good fight scene

 EPISODE 7

·         This polka music bops

·         Wait how did he get to 1982

·         HE SAID FUCK

·         Man Carmichael was out so quick

·         No fish-eating?

·         Awwwww Klaus and Ben have a heart to heart

·         Oh God, Diego and Luther have no brain activity between the two of them

·         That is a Look

·         Oh this montage of Ben rediscovering touch

·         The writing of this show was oddly prophetic

·         Oh wait Vanya’s gonna be incarcerated too right????

·         Oh this is heart-breaking

·         Really?????? Ben’s the dorky one???

·         Oh my god Ben is getting a hug and Diego is so soft

·         Man why are Five and Vanya so antagonistic

·         FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

·         Dude a fight between them would have been so epic

·         Diego

·         You idiot

·         Oh Allison really loves him and he loves her

·         Oh I am so sad

·         Yeah this episode is infinitely worse than the day that wasn’t

·         FUCK YEAH BACKSTREET BOYS

·         What the fuck

·         Yo that is sadistic as fuck Allison what the flying fuck

·         This scene might ruin the song for me

·         There definitely was an easier way out

·         They fucked it up

·         I am not surprised

 EPISODE 8

·         Oh she speaks Russian

·         Five just snapped and honestly deserves it

·         Yeah I feel for the Swede

·         What is it with commission assassins and axes this season

·         “Your vagina needs fresh glasses.”

·         Nepotism

·         Oh Grace is turning on him baby!!

·         Ha remember when we were all like ‘oh no they’re making Reggie sympathetic’

·         Yeah so much for that

·         Five and Luther are……..soft

·         What the fuck is up with that

·         AYYYY BUTTHOLE SURFERS ON THE SOUNDTRACK

·         Oooooohhhhhhh trippy kid scene

·         Also Reggie is bad at German

·         I love Luther and Five so much

·         We finally get to see older Five’s tie pattern

·         Alright Lila makes me uncomfortable

·         FIVE IS GONNA GO FERAL Y’ALL LET’S GO

·         Man after the last rampage you’d think they’d upped security in this place

·         Herb for president!!

·         Some catch Diego’s ego is going berserk

·         Oh not again

·         Dot is a rebel now

·         Everyone is ragging on Five, even Five

·         This is so trippy

·         Oh yeah the brains. Forgot about those.

·         I……….sad

·         Oh my god oh my god oh my god

·         Of course it’s all the government’s fault

·         Love how they just walked into an FBI building

·         Bro what the fuck is going on

EPISODE 9

·         Allison is always there for Vanya and I love her

·         Hello Klaus and Diego are so cute

·         Oh my heart you go Klaus

·         So much for that

·         BUT BEN

·         YOU ARE CLIFF-HANGERING BE INSIDE AN EPISODE

·         Crazy Five is an idiot I love him

·         “I’m the daddy here” is not the gazelle, but it’ll do in a pinch

·         The 743!!!!!!

·         Oh God, Harlan is in danger

·         She loves him?!? You barely know the man!!!!!!

·         WHAT’S ON THE PAPER

·         Oh it’s her file

·         HELLO LET US SEE THE FIVES TYING TO OFF EACH OTHER

·         This continues to be trippy

·         These visuals are so stunning

·         This is my favourite scene so far, this is so good, this is an excellent talk

·         NO

·         NOT BEN

·         NOT BEN

·         “I’m askin’, Carl.” You go Sissy, love you, you’re doing excellent

·         Alright, we have a mini-Vanya here

·         Oh I hate the Handler so fucking much she is the worst

·         What a plot-twist

·         Oh god so much is going on in this season

·         Oh we get fish-eating, but it’s not Five? That’s lame

·         Why are they all so hell-bent on making stupid decisions

·         Klaus you idiot

·         Oh that SON OF A BITCH HARGREEVES

·         What the fuck what is on the dark side of the moon

·         What the flying fuck what the fuck what tebdjbdgkbjdsgkbjgsdjgnj

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO WAR

 EPISODE 10

·         Oh the kids are back for Ben’s funeral

·         I hate this

·         Reginald is just. The worst.

·         My emotions are all over the place

·         Oh……..babies

·         OH MY GOD DIEGO

·         AND FIVE

·         It wouldn’t hurt to go to an abandoned farm

·         God this is a family of shitty choices

·         I don’t want Ben to be gone

·         FAMILY TIME

·         Oh shit I totally forgot about the last Swede

·         BRO THE STAKES

·         YEAH THIS LOOKS BAD

·         ALRIGHT Harland is gonna be alright

·         All these assassins have shit aim

·         HE’S MATRIXING

·         LILA’S ONE OF THE 43

·         SHE CAN ABSORB AND REDIRECT THEIR ENERGIES

·         ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM

·         Awwwwww they love each other

·         Oh great THEY’RE DEAD AGAIN

·         Oh now LILA will have to fix the timeline

·         Wait now they’re all dead

·         The swede to the rescue?

·         Please tell me she’s dead for good this time

·         We love a de facto protagonist saving everyone’s asses once more

·         GO VANYA SAVE THE BABY

·         Dot and Herb are precious dumbasses

·         This is heart-breaking, but I understand Sissy so much

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CLIFFHANGER

[ocasio2018]

why did AOC endorse bernie?

if you don’t get why AOC endorsed bernie, here’s why.

after the last debate, news broke that AOC was going to be bernie’s special guest at his queensbridge rally this saturday, and not only that, she was going to endorse him! i was beyond myself with glee - i was nervous abut which choice she’d make. i had been wondering whether she would continue to be the woman (queen) i knew her to be, or if that dumbass NYT write-up was right; she’s learning to go along to get along in the corrupt House of representatives.

despite the naysayers, within and outside of the party, our girl was still repping US. that meant backing bernie in this fight --  the man who has repped us since before most of us were born. he has vision, integrity, and a bulletproof value system that cannot be swayed by corporate interests and deep-pocketed donors, unlike the majority of the democrats (see: mayor pete’s medicare-for-all stance in april versus now). despite its political inconvenience and a legion of #neverbernie haters, she aligned her values with her actions (that’s integrity, folks).

but then it quickly dawned on me that so many of the folks that i admire on twitter were not going to be happy.

for reasons that are unclear to me, there’s a huge movement to get behind AOC’s message while simultaneously rejecting bernie. a bizarre position, given that she’s been unabashed in her admiration of his message, campaigned for him in 2016, & feeling moved by his movement. he is her ideological forebearer.

still, i knew that the blue dog dems, liberals, and ‘you go girl!’ twitter would be pissed. EW has replaced HRC as the coronated candidate. let me be clear. warren is brilliant, down to earth, and more than fit for this job. she has an authenticity about her and ability to connect that makes you want to root for her. she and bernie are usually aligned on issues and are good friends irl. warren is a progressive. still.

warren has been wishy-washy on medicare for all, is pro-israel-no-matter-what, & unabashedly pro-capitalism. none of that shit is cool, ok? ultimately, it makes me trust my gut that bernie is the candidate who will remain the most dedicated to the world that i envision; an anti-war, progressive society that takes care of its residents despite nationality, race, gender identity, income, and all intersections between. this is a fight for the future of our country and i’m riding with the dude who’s been in the cut for decades.

for those reasons, i’m bernie 2020. given that i’ve seen almost every single AOC interview, i had an inkling that she would be the same. & then she was! but here’s the thing - for some folks, there’s a huge disconnect. they don’t get it. they see bernie and think:

❌ white man (who just had a heart attack)

❌grumpy old man (with a bad attitude)

❌ baggage from 2016 (and a heap of haters)

❌ unrealistic vision that isn’t possible in the confines of the presidency

❌ a missed opportunity to elect the first woman president (of native ancestry lolz).

especially the last one. feminism! girl power! in fact, check out this tweet.

ah yes, “identity politics.” that thing where um, uh...you kind of support the person whose identity is closest to yours..? or like, whoever is more oppressed is who you should align with because they deserve it more?

but here’s the thing. that popular, nebulous, nonsensical definition is wrong. black feminist radicals created that term. identity politics is about organizing around the collective interest of an intersection of identities. black women were politically organizing, animated by specific interests & needs of black women. the combahee river collective who popularized this term knew that sharing an identity does not automate shared interest. all kinfolk ain’t skinfolk. when it comes down to it, your vision matters more than your social identity. in this way, endorsing bernie is aligning with AOC’s identity politics. bernie’s political investments are more concerned with the needs of the most vulnerable. think of it that way.

by comparison...

✅warren consistently centers ‘middle class working families’ in her messaging while bernie focuses on ‘working people’ and the ‘impoverished’.

✅ bernie wants to cancel all student debt, warren only wants to cancel it for some

✅ bernie is anti-war and anti-imperalism, warren wants...a green military?

✅bernie is a committed socialist, warren is a committed capitalist

✅bernie ran against clinton (a hardcore neoliberal), warren endorsed clinton

there’s more, but you get the point. there is one candidate in the 2020 field whose vision is clear, equitable, & staunchly committed to justice for all americans: bernie sanders. asking why AOC would endorse bernie instead of EW fails to recognize that their overall interests are divergent. warren is a woman yes, but bernie would also be the first jewish president. AOC has already acknowledged that she has jewish ancestors in puerto rico - by this logic, should she be as committed to that identity? or should she endorse julian castro, a fellow latinx?

tbqh, some of the blowback smacks of co-opting the intellect & labor of WOC & then discarding them...if you f*cked with AOC last week, today should be no different. she is still fighting for US and even if he isn’t *your* candidate, do not embarrass yourself by dragging her. check the legions of idiots on twitter now, saying she has no clout in the party anyway (HA!) & claiming she would be bad for the warren campaign. nah. you may not agree with this decision but it would behoove you to respect it.

if you still don’t get it, imagine what AOC’s platform will look like when she runs for president-- more like bernie or e. warren?

we can all agree on this, i hope: tr*mp is an abomination and should be impeached. warren or sanders, this country will be much better off.

[bronanlynch]

I enjoyed doing this last week so this is. a thing now I guess. click through for roundup of whatever media I’ve been into in the past week (will normally be on thursdays I think bc that’s the day I’m usually free but my schedule this week was weird) (inspired by the tuesday again thing that @girlfriendsofthegalaxy does)

listening: the new Mountain Goats album Getting Into Knives is very fun and full of bops, for a given value of both “fun” and “bops” because it’s The Mountain Goats so it does have that edge of depression but quite a few of the songs are a bit more. cheerful? than a lot of their other stuff, for lack of a better word

favorite track is probably The Rat Queen

listening (podcast edition): this very fun episode of Overinvested tearing apart the new movie adaptation of Rebecca which I have not seen and was not planning on seeing but I do enjoy people smartly analyzing why things aren’t good and also I do love discussions about Gothic romance

reading: The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall is probably a very good book that someone else will enjoy very much, as lots of people whose opinions I generally trust already have enjoyed it. and I possibly will enjoy more if I give it another chance, once I’ve gotten over being disappointed that it wasn’t what I was looking for right now. the premise is neat! the worldbuilding is cool! the characters are interesting! mermaids, witches, and seas are three of my favorite things and also there are pirates, my other fave thing!

the reason I bounced off of it so hard is that I kept seeing it hyped up as a trans/nonbinary book, and then felt kinda let down when I started reading it and realized that the main character whom I’ve seen described as genderqueer is 1) dressing as a guy because someone else suggested it for safety reasons and 2) this was several years before the story starts and this character still refers to herself exclusively (disclaimer that I didn’t read the full thing but. as far as I got and also I skimmed toward the ending) as she and by her feminine birthname. and those things are fine, that’s a valid gender story, nonbinary people can absolutely keep their old pronouns and names and it doesn’t make them any less nonbinary, but the way it was framed in the parts that I read felt to me more like the old classic ‘girl dresses as guy for plot reasons’ thing, which isn’t something I personally wanted to read more of right now, especially not when I went in expecting something that would resonate more with my gender experience

watching: I’ve been rewatching Leverage, since I only ever watched the first season many years ago because that’s what was free on hulu at the time, and the thing that’s really getting to me is how fundamentally hopeful it is. like, yeah, sure, the premise of it is about how capitalism is designed to fuck people over and there is A Lot about specifically health insurance being really really awful. so there are parts of it that are a lil bit too real, but then at the end of the day they always win and punish the rich capitalists and help their victims and it’s just. nice to see that kind of happy ending

the specific episode I’m having lots of thoughts about is the Mile High Job, which is about the team is trying to protect a potential corporate whistleblower from being murdered by her coworker while on an airplane. at first they’re not sure what’s going on because they weren’t expecting two people from the corporation to be on that flight, so they don’t know which person is the one they should be focusing on. one of them is an anxious younger woman and the other is an extremely generic man, and from the moment they decided that the woman was the one they had to protect I was dreading the plot twist of “no actually you just helped her take out her target and you should’ve been protecting the other guy” which would’ve felt just. so mean-spirited and cynical but it’s the kind of thing I expect from media I guess. and then once it was clear that nope, that twist wasn’t going to happen, I expected her to turn around at the end and be like “actually no I’m not gonna testify against the corporation because I’ve realized how dangerous it is.” and I kind of hate that I’ve become so jaded by both media and also the real world that I’m so ready to expect the most cynical option, because I’m not used to stories about how even though the system is corrupt and oppressive and exploitative, people can still help each and they do and sometimes they make things better

playing: got back into playing Dishonored after taking a couple weeks off because I got stuck and frustrated and also kept playing for too long at a time and giving myself headaches. Lady Boyle’s Last Party (which I am going to completely and entirely spoil so if you don’t want that this is your warning) is probably the mission that I have the strongest mixed feelings about. I love the approach to the party, I love the concept of sneaking into a masquerade ball, I love signing the guestbook with your actual legal wanted fugitive name while wearing the mask that you commit all of your crimes in, I love a good fancy party mission I cannot stress that enough it’s the sexiest possible setting

HOWEVER. trying to sneak around upstairs fucking sucks because the ceilings aren’t high enough for there to be places to hide, like convenient hanging lamps or pipes to blink up to. my least favorite room in this entire game is that art gallery because you can get on top of the cases and you think you’re safe because you’re Up but then the guards spot you instantly and sound the alarm and the entire party shuts down and then you let them kill you so that you can go back to your last save

ADDITIONALLY, fuck the nonlethal option for this one. I hate it so much and feel so incredibly gross about choosing it but I also feel extremely not great about tricking her into meeting me alone and then actually assassinating her. the conversation is so uncomfortable that I tried to be like “actually no nevermind” which causes her to think you’re weird and creepy and she has the guards ““throw you out”“ which apparently in Dunwall is just how you say that she’s gonna have the guards murder you. but anyway. she's a shitty rich lady but she doesn't deserve either of the things that could happen to her and she's only a target because she's sleeping w a guy who sucks. she hasn’t done anything! she isn’t actually responsible for what happened to Jessamine or Emily! which works on a narrative level in my opinion because this is the last mission before you go after the lord regent and it’s becoming clear that the loyalists are just using Corvo for their own agenda and don’t actually care about Jessamine. but it’s still unpleasant to be the one enacting it, y’know?

also on a narrative level, I really like the concept of doing a clean hands run except killing each of the actual targets, because I feel like that would be a cool inversion of the trope where the hero kills a bunch of mooks and then refuses to kill the big bad because murder is wrong. on a gameplay level, I’m still gonna do the nonlethal options because I refuse to risk getting the bad ending, and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t killed anyone since getting out of prison. I do wanna do a high chaos playthrough at some point though just to see how it goes, since I went low chaos last time too

sorry for writing an entire essay about Dishonored but. the funniest thing from that mission is that apparently if you get spotted by one of the maids in the basement where you are not supposed to be (the guards will immediately attack if they see you) instead of raising the alarm she just says “welcome to the party.” love that solidarity.

making: none of my cosplay stuff is at an especially picture-worthy stage and I didn’t get pictures of the pesto I made for dinner last night so there’s not gonna be much that’s interesting here but I did go to Spirit Halloween after Halloween when everything was on clearance and got a bunch of stuff that I’m gonna use for cosplay eventually

writing: soon I will finish the Eddis/Attolia Queen’s Thief fic that’s been rattling around in my brain ever since I finished the last book. hopefully.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#22)

ok I watched this a few days ago and haven’t had time to watch the finale yet but MAN 4x12 is an amazing penultimate episode. Here we goooo:

Omfg the panthers are literally being such snobby fucks about the East Dillon field. these fuckers are so classist and racist~~~ it’s too real

Feels like Julie is being very impulsive about trying to leave for habitat for humanity shit “It’s only $3,000.” “Only? Honey you’re hilarious.”

Ah yep and mindy’s in labor!! “Who the hell are you talking to?” “It’s tim, do you want to talk to him?” “NO!” 😂😭 I’m dead

I see what they did there, transitioning from Tim’s excitement about new life on the white side of town to Vince and the community mourning Calvin at his funeral on the Black side of town.

“Jess, if I go to the cops I go to jail.” UH YEAH he’s on parole, Jess, he literally can’t “do the right thing” bc he’ll get punished for it bc PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!

ooooh Jess is *worried* about Vince; me too gurl. the concern is hot ngl

LOL Landry is so white.....he didn’t buy Jess a lock for her bike??

Testy Eric getting the field ready is SO funny omfg

HAHAHA they threw billy out bc he’s “too enthusiastic, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” omg he’s had five energy drinks Jesus this is hilarious

Ok Landry going out of your way to tell Vince he’s sorry about Calvin, that’s growth!

“Whose idea was this anyway?” The whole team down on their knees on a football field at night with the toothpicks: “Landry’s.”

Wow living in Texas sux, Tami has to compromise her values and apologize for giving a scared, pregnant teenage girl all her options if she wants to keep her job as a public school principal?!?! Damn this show is too real lol

“It’s trying to claw his way out.” “Claw?”

“Her way out or whoever is in there...its way out.” Okay, gender neutral, I see you billy riggins! (I got less proud when he just ran into the birthing room wearing the PPE hat and yelling, “I’m the dad!!!”)

Really, they vandalized Eric’s car?! Too much.

“I don’t feel safe taking my family over there.” OK RACIST

Yessss they tooth picked the field so they had to spend their time doing stupid shit on the field too?! That’s pretty clever honestly, evening the score.

“I understand it took West Dillon two hours to take those toothpicks out of the field.” LOL

Gotta love that a lawyer says Tami has a great case for wrongful termination but that the court system will drag it out so much it won’t be good for her career long term lolll sounds about right. Great society we have here.

Aww “Uncle Tim”!!! So cute!

Uh oh it’s another Riggins boy in this mess lol! Awww Steven. My heart! This show does such a good job of letting you linger in the heartwarming moments for a minute.

Anddd of course the anti choicers are protesting her. Oh Tami, my queen, you don’t deserve this.

“I don’t cook flesh, dad.” Lol I love how Eric gives a half hearted “oh alright” to Julie making dinner bc she didn’t cook meat 🤣

“Lions suck.” “Haha you know what? Go to hell.” I shrieked with laughter. Let Eric and Tami eat dinner with their daughters jfc!!!

Jess holding an iPod and saying she made Landry a playlist. Oh, early 2000s love

Vince is being nice to Landry about being with Jess, wow now that’s growth too! This love triangle could be a lot worse.

Jesus fuck are they ruining the East Dillon field now?! Should’ve known they wouldn’t take those toothpicks lying down.

Tim is so cute with his nephew!!

Jesus fuck the tension on this Wade/Tami/Eric conference call after the East Dillon field destruction. This season is so well crafted to bring everything in the town to a boiling point just in time for the rivalry game!!!

There’s like a fucking creek on Tim’s property too? This is some romantic, scenic shit!

Life is about owning land and family? Hmmm. Okay Tim.

Omfg Becky I can’t. “Tim I love you” how many times have we gone over that y’all do not work romantically I’m 🤦🏻���♀️

“Vince, you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you up to right now?” Ahhhh not Jess showing up at Vince’s door when he’s going to avenge Calvin! I love that she figured it out just from what he said to Landry alone...the tension, the chemistry, the emotion!

Jess slides down the door!! Classic move of distress~

Ah Tim was W A Y too happy, it figures that their car scheme would be discovered now. And of course Tim is gonna take the fall so Billy can be with his family oh Tim 🥺

Damn!!! Vince got out of the car as the light turned from red to green trying to flee ?!!! 😭 “My mom’s not supposed to bury me, I’m supposed to bury my mama!” Ugh such a good line. Poor Vince.

Stfu, Joe— “we called every player on our team they’re all accounted for.” of course they are, Joe McCoy, mmhmm

Ah yes, grown men arguing about toothpicks while a crowd watches outside.

“The thing we gotta remember here is that in the end this is just a football game.” And Eric’s like, “nah actually, I’m getting harassed, thanks!”

Ah Jess was waiting for Vince when he came home 🥺 (Ooooop did Jess end up standing Landry up accidentally. Well fook.)

Oh, Tim. fuckkkkk this capitalist shit show— like, Tim is taking the fall so they could make sure Mindy could deliver a healthy baby without absurd medical debt and tbh I assume they still have debt !!!! We love a functioning society right?

Ahhh Eric throwing the phone that won’t stop ringing is the inevitable catharsis mmhmm

Damn the amount of stress that Tami and Eric combined are under is...oooof! They deserve better!

Omg wait and the actual game happens next episode?!!! I love this show, it’s so well written gahhhh

(See you next time)

[nagdabbit]

A HANDY DANDY GUIDE TO WRASSLIN

For the lovely, the wonderful, the incomparable @gideongrace​ , may I present: Daggs’ Guide to the Wild Ass World of Professional Wrestling! (and it’s goin’ behind a cut because It Got LONG!)

So, here is the things. Wrestling is STUPID. And great? And fun as hell! And the most carny sport to ever exist. But, also SUPER inside baseball a lot of the time just because it’s got such a long goddamn history that it can seem daunting to get into. Like I’ve only been back into it the last four or so years, so there’s a lot of history that I’ve missed! There’s also a whole lot of gate keeping, just like comics or video games. There’s also the bitter truth that a lot of people in the industry are absolute shitheels that should have been fired long ago (and I’ll only be vague about a lot of that). So, yeah. A WHOLE LOT.

First things first: HISTORY. There’s just so much. But, conveniently? You don’t need it. It can be fun if you end up really like wrestling, but contrary to what a bunch of middle-aged, racist, misogynist and WILDLY homophobic, White American Men will tell you, you don’t actually need it to enjoy yourself. If you DO want history, might I suggest the How2Wrestling podcast! It is a cheerful, lovely show hosted by two goddamn delightful humans, Kefin and Jo (who are also just wonderful people to interact with in general)! There is also the Comic Book Story of Professional Wrestling by Aubrey Sitterson and Chris Moreno, which is a great read! Wrestlesplania is another good show for history of the sport and the wrestlers! They’re definitely, uh, hornier, but v fun!

Secondly: On the subject of inside baseball, wrestling jargon is a whole thing. The ONLY part of wrestling history that is 100% important: it is a carny sport. Like, some side-show, vaudeville ass shit, yo. And it has never evolved from that, so there are a whole lot of terms used that are very specific to like... early 1900′s carnival culture. Here is a wikipedia article, but there’s also a wonderful How2Wrestling episode about it all! I’ll try not to use much!

Thirdly: We can’t talk about wrestling podcasts without mentioning Colt Cabana’s The Art of Wrestling. A lot of the archives are behind a paywall now, but the show is great. If you DO get into wrestling and start to find wrestlers you enjoy, I highly highly suggest checking to see if they’ve done an episode. Colt is a goddamn delight of a human, deserving of support and a great interviewer on top of it. Even if you just bookmark eps you’d wanna listen to and then start a free trial to marathon them all. (See also: the Colt Cabana & CM Punk lawsuit(s), in which Colt got royally fucked over.)

Fourthly: Nobodies Watching Wrestling. Drag Queens watching wrestling. That’s all you need to know. Even out of context, they’re goddamn delightful humans. Might I recommend this episode with EFFY, because I sometimes just watch it when I’m having a bad day.

Fifthly: Tights & Fights is a great weekly wrestling pod, and is how I keep up on a lot of things that I might not be watching. PLUS, diverse group of (wonderful) hosts: Hal Lublin, Daniel Radford, Lindsey Kelk, Open Mike Eagle, and producer Julien Burrell. They’re just great. And horny, at times, but in a charming and respectful way.

Now... The boring part. I’m just gonna get some of the popular company introductions out of the way, and then the fun part of So Many Match Suggestions at the bottom. But, business first! (The Big difference between Larger Companies and Independent Companies is that the big guys have a contracted roster of people who sometimes can work with other companies [unless they’re the WWE, who have exclusive contracts and still call their employees Independent Contractors so they don’t have to offer health insurance or a union], and indie guys contract people usually show-by-show. ALSO, there is intergender wrestling [men vs women, which does bother a lot of people. I do side with support of it, but I do totally get how it can be hard to watch] in indie shows, whereas there is NOT in 90% of the big companies.)

(And, honestly, if you wanna skip this part, you can, but if I don’t do it first, I’ll forget..)

AN OVERVIEW OF THE BIG PLAYERS

WWE - Here’s the thing. The WWE kinda... is a terrible capitalist bastard of a company, run by a morally bankrupt, egomaniacal, shitstain, roid-rage cryptkeeper of a man. And, if you want my personal opinion, RAW and Smackdown are both (currently) TERRIBLE shows, despite having some truly phenomenal talent. BUT, but. NXT (and NXT UK) is probably the best, like, weekly wrestling show (on TV, at least, but we’ll get there). The talent is INCREDIBLE, the storylines are less bad bananas, and they’ve adopted a LOT of the best indie talent lately (because they want to directly compete with AEW, but that’s a whole other thing). WWE programming is also the easiest to get a hold of because they are the longest running and basically Disney, so there are some full matches on YouTube, and Raw and NXT are available on Hulu. They are also releasing a lot of free stuff on the WWE Network that you can watch without signing up for a paid account, but there is a lot of stuff behind a pay wall.

Cons: Real Talk, run by a bunch of terrible people. Responsible for covering up a lot of truly reprehensible crimes for which no one was held accountable, despite being well documented. A blatant disregard for the (physical and mental) safety and/or financial security of a lot of their roster--specifically the people you don’t see on TV. (If you want some history, you can look through the past tweets of the New York 64 Tournament, but a lot of it turned my stomach, so I would not suggest, but it’s there if you have the same morbid curiosity that I did)

Pros: The company might be run by terrible people, but their roster is good. A lot of my top wrestlers do work for the WWE, sure, but they do hire a lot of decent humans that I sometimes feel bad about not supporting. Also, it is the dream of a lot of people to join WWE simply because of the prestige, the massive audience, and job security. I might hate Vince but I can’t begrudge any wrestler currently working for them.

NXT Pros: On the subject of rosters, NXT is LIT. But they have also stolen some of the best indie wrestlers recently: Mercedes Martinez and Jake Atlas, two of my All Time Favs. Both of whom deserve the world, because being openly gay in the wrestling industry is the pits.

All Elite Wrestling - AEW is a very new company, and they are my favourite of the big promotions. They are a company run by wrestlers, rather than a millionaire with a writing staff. I like the wrestling style(s) better, I was a huge fan of a lot of their roster before they hit TV last October, and I like not giving the McMahons money. The storylines are better, if only because they don’t have a writer’s room dictating scripts and such, and the characters are more fun (for me at least).

Easiest ways to watch for free: Their YouTube channel! There you can find a lot of highlights, behind the scenes, AEW Dark (the “dark” matches, or the non-televised matches from TV tapings), PPV pre-shows and a lot of stupid stuff.

Cons: A bit of an issue offering equal match time to the women’s roster the way they SAID they would at the start. A bit more violent of a style as a lot of the wrestlers came up death match style wrestling, or are from Japan/wrestled in Japan and typically wrestle “strong style” (wrestling style with less theatrics and known for Real Real Strikes that Hurt A Lot), which some people can find off-putting. Also, they hired Jake Hager, who is a real piece of shit.

Pros: Have a wonderfully diverse roster. Orange Cassidy. Sonny Kiss. Good storytelling. Jake The Snake Roberts doing Hella Promos. The Dark Order, who we affectionately refer to as the Spooky Perverts. Chris Jericho yelling at a Drone, and Matt Hardy being a wizard. A bunch of wrestlers who are married to other wrestlers who work for WWE, and good jokes are made.

BUT THE BIGGEST PRO-AEW THING I CAN PROVIDE: NYLA FUCKING ROSE. They didn’t make her the first women’s champion like they should have, but they put her in the first championship match on the FIRST episode of the weekly show, Dynamite, and she is now the CURRENT women’s champion. I don’t wanna make a big deal, only it is a BIG DEAL, because Nyla Fucking Rose is the first openly transgender wrestler signed to a major promotion, and if you think I didn’t fucking CRY LIKE A CHILD when she won, you’re wrong. So, yeah, a NATIONALLY TELEVISED WRESTLING PROGRAM’S CURRENT WOMEN’S CHAMPION IS A TRANSGENDER, FIRST NATIONS WOMAN. NYLA. FUCKING. ROSE.

As of right now, AEW seems to be done filming, which is both Very Smart and also heartbreaking, but you can find all the ways to watch over here on their site if it looks like fun!

WOW Women of Wrestling - Have you seen GLOW? This is a show created by the IRL creator of GLOW (the promotion the show is based on, not the show)! And it is? Incredible? The characters are fun and portrayed as superheroes, the stories are CAMP af, and the wrestling is GOOD. They’re a non-traditional show, which is fun. Their roster is made up of wrestlers playing different wrestlers. Wrestling is a bunch of super talented people playing characters while doing acrobatics. WOW gives us people playing characters, playing other characters, while also doing acrobatics.

Cons: All male announce team? On an all women’s show? Excuse? And also: Tessa Blanchard who is, it turns out, a great big racist. Also a little harder to get full episodes it seems.

Pros: Literally everything else.

Ring of Honor - For awhile ROH was handily competing with WWE. And then they weren’t. And then they got better. And then they got worse. And now, currently, they are a company that I hate supporting.

Cons: Run by assholes who don’t care about worker safety, and don’t put anything into the women’s division.

Pros: Sometimes they partner with New Japan Pro Wrestling. They’ve recently released a lot of goooood old matches including some Kevin Steen (currently WWE’s Kevin Owens) vs El Generico (definitely, 100% not at all, no way, no how, of course NOT WWE’s Sami Zayn [he is, this is another inside baseball joke that I’m just obligated to make every time I mention El Generico]) matches which are BRUTAL. Oh, and Dalton Castle:

Impact! - It’s back! I don’t watch it, but they DO have Rich Swann, so they can’t be bad. There is an entire history to Impact that is BANANAS. Like AEW, a bit more rough and tumble, scrappy death match folks, and I like a lot of the roster, like Taya Valkyrie, Jessika Havok and Sami Callihan. Not a bad show, but the full show weekly doesn’t hold my attention.

Cons: Tessa Blanchard, mostly. She is an incredible wrestler, her matches are good, but.

Pros: Pretty easy to watch, actually? I believe they’re still on Twitch, and they have an entire channel on Pluto TV.

New Japan Pro Wrestling - NJPW is GREAT. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. The shows are long, and strong style just... hurts. Like, a lot of wincing on my end. But the wrestling. Oh, lordy, the wrestling is incredible. But it is brutal. Strong Style wrestling is much different than the typical American style that you see in WWE, and a lot more grounded than high flying lucha styles. (Though a lot of wrestlers do travel to Mexico and train in lucha style wrestling (which I am the least familiar with), so currently there is a lot of the very high flying flippty dos and the absolutely brutal strikes that you see in strong style wrestling.)

Cons: Show/match length is typically long and there is A Lot to See. The only way I know to watch full shows is through their streaming service.

Pros: Just the whole thing, really. They release a free match on YouTube every Monday. Also, Toru Yano, the best wrestler in the world.

Indie Promotions that I know less about because I can afford only so many streaming services

Firstly, here is a Wiki list of wrestling streaming services. I’m gonna name a couple below, but the wiki page has a handy list of costs of the bigger ones because capitalism knows how to get you. (Personally, I only use IWTV at the moment. They’re a good company run by good people, and a lot of indie promotions would have died out without partnering with/support from them)

Beyond Wrestling - Beyond is My Favourite Promotion To Watch, Bar None. Their weekly show (when in season), Uncharted Territory, is fantastic. Diverse talent, diverse styles. They do have a lot of death matches, which can suck to watch if you aren’t into that sort of thing. I am, it turns out, into that sort of thing. But listening to interviews with a lot of death match wrestlers, specifically Jimmy Havoc, can help understand the w h y of it all! Available on IWTV.

Chikara - Chikara is So Fun! They are a (mostly) family friendly promotion and training school. Their shows are filled with young/newbie wrestlers as they learn the tricks. Run by Mike Quackenbush, who is a delightful person, BRILLIANT wrestler/trainer, and someone who is willing to take the safety of his people into account. He’s good people, who trains good people, and supports good people, and gives them a safe, open place to learn. It’s also very fun! A lot of comedy matches. Watch on: CHIKARAtopia or some of their archive is on IWTV.

EVE - An all-women promotion, providing a safe working and training environment for women and girls. They have put their foot in it on occasion, but they seem to still be good people. (I would recommend the Tights & Fights episode with founders Emily and Dann Read for a little backstory on the company, but not needed.) Ways to watch.

RIPTIDE - YO, RIPTIDE IS DOING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHIT. Cinematic wrestling, and it is great. The matches are good, the promos are good, the people are good. But the way they film it oh my god holy shit. When everything is a little less hectic, they are people I am definitely gonna support as much as I can. Watch here.

A Matter of Pride - Here’s the thing. They have put on some very good, inclusive shows. However, some serious allegations have come out about Rick Cataldo, who is involved with the company, and I think it’s important to mention. They have done a lot of good in the world of prowrestling and they put on good shows and they have given a platform to people who might otherwise have been pushed aside, however bad things have still happened there. Watchable on YouTube.

OTHER NOTABLE INDIE COMPANIES

GCW (IWTV, Fite TV & Smartmark) * Black Label Pro (IWTV) * Prime Time Pro Wrestling (IWTV) * Uncanny Attractions * RISE (IWTV) * Bar Wrestling * PWG * Stardom * Bizarro Lucha (IWTV) * OTT

There is also NWA Power that is a good show on YouTube, however, they immediately hired (and now fired for being racist) Jim Cornette who is... just an absolute jackass. But I do feel I should mention them.

Is that over? Yes? Well..

NOW THE FUN PART. THIS IS MY MOMENT. THIS IS THE ONLY PART THAT REALLY MATTERS.

So. The thing is. Wrestling is A Lot. SO, I’m gonna give you as wide a variety as I can! I’ll point out some fun people, some fun gimmicks and HOPEFULLY won’t completely turn you off! If you enjoy any of these, then the dumb stuff up above is useful!

First! The most important wrestling match of All Time. Invisible Man vs Invisible Stan. This is everything you need to know about the beats of good wrestling, but also why wrestling is fun. There are two people in this match: Referee Bryce Remsburg and the audience. And that’s it. This is literally just a referee (but it’s Bryce, so the referee) miming a wrestling match, and an audience buying into the kayfabe wholeheartedly. (Inside baseball: Bad Boy Vision - “Bad Boy” Joey Janela’s [another wrestler] sunglasses)

One of my favourite matches in recent memory, AND one of the best matches sort of just in general! David Starr vs Jordan Devlin at OTT. Quintessential wrestling, fantastic storytelling, and one of the best promo packages I’ve ever seen. BONUS: David Starr is a GREAT human fighting day and night to unionize the wrestling industry. He’s the Bernie Sanders of professional wrestling.

I thought about putting an actual death match on the list, but the closest I will get is this Nick Gage vs Josh Briggs fans bring the weapons match. I chose this match because my very best friend does not like this style of wrestling at all, but he did enjoy this match. It’s a lot, obviously. But it’s not as bad as it could be, but there’s also no shame if it isn’t your thing. Hell, I don’t even know why it’s my thing! I don’t even like bloody horror movies! I will say that Nick Fuckin’ Gage is one of the most prolific death match guys still working today, and also one of the nicest, kindest, most beloved guys there is and I would die to protect him. MDK!

Okay, this is the single most beautiful match to exist. Cara Noir vs PAC (fka WWE’s Neville). This isn’t wrestling, this is art. Great story, no commentary, gorgeous camerawork. Bonus: Cara Noir has the most fantastic and well rounded gimmick (character) in the business. Have you seen Black Swan? That’s it. That’s his character. And it’s great. Nailed. It.

Oh, did you know David Arquette is a wrestler? HE IS! Here’s he and RJ City.

On the subject of WWE and NXT, this Halftime Heat match of Aleister Black, Ricochet & Velveteen Dream vs Johnny Gargano, Adam Cole & Tommaso Ciampa. These are six of the best wrestlers work, and definitely TOPS in the WWE system. SEE ALSO: Black & Dream put on a HELL of a program together at NXT, but it’s been boiled down to this highlight vid that gives me feelings. Gargano vs Andrade Cien Almas is one of THE BEST matches of all time and here is a shitty highlight reel, but it’s still good. Adam Cole is 1) incredible and 2) the prettiest possum in the Denny’s dumpster, have a Cole vs Finn Balor highlight reel. God, I wish it were easier to find WWE stuff on YouTube.. All these matches should be on Hulu, tho.

NEXT! Kris Statlander vs Davienne for Beyond. Kris Statlander is A Legend, despite being real new to the business. Currently wrestling for AEW, former stuntwoman and, most importantly, she’s an alien.

FREE FOR ALL TIME. Solo Darling vs Penelope Ford vs Veda Scott vs Ashley Vox. They didn’t have to go that hard, but they did.

SPEAKING OF. Kylie Rae, Penelope Ford, Kimber Lee & Skylar vs. Shotzi Blackheart, Harlow &Twisted Sisterz. I just? I love? All of them?

And not to mention Kris Statlander vs Priscilla Kelly. I mean, I mean. I cannot sing the praises of both of these women enough.

Okay, so I am really only passingly familiar with a lot of Japanese wrestling. Mostly got into it last summer, actually. I get it, I love it, but I’m not as well versed in the people involved. Two badasses I do know? Meiko Satomura vs Kana (WWE’s Asuka). Fucking legends, both of them. Hard hitters, too, jesus.

If you do get into NXT at all, Keith Lee and Donovan Dijak put on one fuck of a program together, but the story started long before they ever entered the WWE! Please enjoy this absolute hoss fight from a couple years back.

NOW, some intergender matches! If you think they aren’t your thing, feel free to skip!

A fun match of (current IRL romantic partners) Keith Lee vs Mia Yim from before either of them debuted at NXT. I believe they weren’t dating at this point, so the next part will really hit, cuz it’s romantic as shit... This was not the booked ending. Keith Lee didn’t kick out on purpose. (Which, I mean, is literally all wrestling endings, but.) Mia was booked to lose (at least they told her that), and he purposefully took the L and went out on his back, to surprise her and give her a MASSIVE push.

Leyla Hirsch vs David Starr. I just. I goddamn love Leyla Hirsch. A very young wrestler, very new to the industry and I just love her so much?

Two great, intense matches of Joey Janela, the patron saint of bad decisions. Versus Kris Statlander (I can’t get enough of her) and versus Jordynne Grace.

Orange Cassidy and Penelope Ford vs Shockwave and Veda Scott. Shockwave is a robot and Orange Cassidy is Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer. I can give no other explanation.

COMEDY TIME, YO. Comedy wrestling is The Best. There’s a name, Orange Cassidy. Yeah, he’s very funny, and also the most divisive person in wrestling rn. He’s Paul Rudd. He knows he’s a wrestler. He’s lazy. And there’s one match that we need to get out of the way first...

Orange Cassidy vs David Starr. The thing is. Orange Cassidy can fucking wrestle. His gimmick might be that he doesn’t want to, but he can. And It. Is. Great.

Now we can get on with the funnies.

Orange Cassidy vs Colt Cabana. Not story needed. Just two dudes at a food festival. Oh, yeah, there’s also a Swamp Monster. We love Swampy.

Colt Cabana vs Toru Yano. It’s just. So. FUN.

You might know the name Joey Ryan as The Dick Flip Wrestler, or The King of Dong Style. His dick has magical powers, it’s a thing. Here’s he and Orange Cassidy.

Johnny Cockstrong is the opposite of Joey Ryan. Literally. Here’s him also vs Orange Cassidy.

Did you want to see a Dick Test of Strength between them? Well, it happened.

Back to RIPTIDE for (another intergender, kinda) Pete Dunne, Tyler Bate & Trent Seven vs Joey Ryan, Candice LeRae (the World’s Cutest Tag Team) & Colt Cabana.

Kinda almost but not really comedy but very funny and also full of good wrasslin’, here is EFFY vs Orange Cassidy. Pirated, technically, and in real low quality, but I Love It. EFFY is Daddy.

Now, you’ll notice not a lot of women in the comedy section. Real talk, women still tend to get treated as a joke by the wrestling industry at large, so they don’t get the luxury of being as funny as they want. But one woman out there doing the lord’s work is Session Moth Martina. Legend. Love her. Admittedly, another intergender match, but it makes me happy. Martina & Orange Cassidy vs Joey Janela & Penelope Ford (Janelope).

One of my All Time Favourite Matches to date, EFFY and Danhausen (Gaytanic Panic) vs Chris Dickinson and Pinkie Sanchez (Team Pazuzu). Yes, this is a Halloween show. Yes, the Ref IS dressed as Chris Dickinson. There are teeth, Jesus resurrects someone, Danhausen is in fishnets and Effy is in face paint. It’s great. Love that Danhausen.

And there we have it! A whole lot of information and a bunch of matches and some stuff. It’s real dumb, and sometimes the industry is dark, but there’s a lot of hella good people doing dumb things. I hope this was helpful?? And Fun! (But my feeling won’t be hurt if it wasn’t fun, I promise!)

I leave you with this, RJ City making coffee in his underwear with Danhausen. Completely out of context. Because I love it.