#(I Am Hollow Laughing Into The Void)

[koushirouizumi]

{D.N. A n g e l} ~ Stage 4 Vol. 39

BONUS:

[brookghaib-blog]

Shattered Dreams

Pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x Reader

tw: abusive behaviour, angst, pregnancy

Summary: Y/N navigates a loveless marriage to Hoshina Soshiro

pt.2

--

The morning sun cast a warm, golden glow across the room, but it did little to dispel the cold atmosphere within. Y/N stood by the window, her eyes focused on the horizon, though her thoughts were miles away. Her hands absentmindedly caressed her growing belly, a reminder of the life growing inside her, a product of a union devoid of warmth.

She had dreamed of being a painter, of bringing colors to life on a canvas, but those dreams were tucked away like the paintbrushes and canvases she kept hidden in the small corner of their home. Her parents had been ruthless in their determination to see her married into a powerful clan, and so, her fate had been sealed with Soshiro Hoshina, the Vice-Captain of the Defense Force's Third Division.

Their marriage was an arrangement, a strategic alliance between families, devoid of love or affection. Soshiro was often away, his duties calling him to fight kaiju, the monstrous threats to humanity. When he was home, their interactions were minimal, their conversations cold and formal.

One evening, as Y/N was finishing a small painting, the door creaked open. Soshiro walked in, his uniform stained with the grime and blood of battle. He looked at her, his expression unreadable.

"You're painting again," he remarked, his tone flat. It wasn't a question, merely an observation.

Y/N nodded, trying to find her voice. "It helps me pass the time."

Soshiro walked past her, his eyes scanning the room with a detached indifference. "I wish you wouldn't waste your time on such frivolities."

Her heart sank at his words, but she kept her composure. "It brings me some peace."

He turned to face her, his eyes cold and unyielding. "Peace? In a world like ours, peace is a luxury we can't afford."

Y/N swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on her. "I know, but it's all I have."

Soshiro's expression hardened, his voice dropping to a low, harsh whisper. "I wish I could get out of this situation. This marriage is unbearable."

The words cut through her like a knife, and for a moment, she felt as if the room was spinning. She had known their marriage was not built on love, but hearing him say it so bluntly, so cruelly, was more than she could bear.

She looked down, blinking back tears. "I... I understand."

Soshiro sighed, his frustration evident. "Do you? Do you really? I am bound by duty, by obligation, and this—" he gestured around the room, "—this is a prison."

Y/N felt a sob rise in her throat, but she choked it back, refusing to let him see her break. "I've tried to make the best of it. I've tried to be a good wife to you."

He laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. "A good wife? You're just another chain, another burden I have to bear."

She looked at him then, her eyes filled with a mixture of pain and defiance. "And what about our child? Is that just another burden to you?"

For a moment, something flickered in his eyes, a hint of regret, perhaps, but it was quickly extinguished. "I didn't ask for this. Any of it."

Y/N felt the tears spill over, and she turned away, unable to look at him any longer. "I know you didn't. But this is our reality now. Whether you like it or not."

Soshiro said nothing more, and after a few moments, he left the room, the door closing with a soft click behind him. Y/N stood there, her heart shattered, the weight of his words crushing her spirit.

She walked over to her painting, staring at the vibrant colors she had once found solace in. Now, they seemed dull and lifeless, a stark contrast to the dark void that had settled in her heart. She placed a hand on her belly, a silent promise to the child within her.

"I'll be strong for you," she whispered. "Even if he can't love us, I'll find a way to give you the love you deserve."

As the sun set, casting long shadows across the room, Y/N realized that her dreams of being a painter, of finding happiness, were just that—dreams. Her reality was a loveless marriage, a life of duty and sacrifice. And in that moment, she vowed to find a way to survive, for her child's sake, if not for her own.

But deep down, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was as much a prisoner as Soshiro, trapped in a cage built by obligations and unfulfilled dreams.

--flashback--

The memory of their wedding day came flooding back, unbidden. The grand hall had been filled with guests, a sea of faces all watching her, judging her. Y/N had worn a traditional kimono, its intricate patterns and vibrant colors a stark contrast to the cold, emotionless ceremony.

Her parents had stood beside her, their expressions stern and unyielding. There was no joy in their eyes, only the satisfaction of a deal well-brokered. Soshiro had been there too, his face a mask of indifference. He had looked through her rather than at her, as if she were an obligation rather than a person.

"Remember your duty," her father had whispered harshly in her ear as he led her down the aisle. "You must uphold the family honor."

She had nodded, her heart heavy with resignation. This was her life now, a life chosen for her, not by her.

--

As the days turned into weeks, Y/N found herself growing increasingly lonely. Soshiro's coldness was a constant presence, a wall she could not breach. She spent her days painting in solitude, each stroke of the brush a small act of defiance against the life she was forced to lead.

One evening, she gathered her courage and approached him as he sat at the dining table, reading reports from the Defense Force. The room was dimly lit, the shadows playing across his stern features.

"Soshiro," she began hesitantly, "I was thinking... maybe we could try to talk more. Get to know each other better."

He looked up from his papers, his eyes cold and distant. "There's nothing to talk about."

"But we're married," she insisted, her voice trembling. "We have a child on the way. Shouldn't we at least try to understand each other?"

Soshiro's expression hardened, his voice sharp. "Understand? There's nothing to understand. You were forced into this marriage just as I was. We are bound by duty, not choice."

Y/N felt a lump form in her throat, but she pressed on. "I know it wasn't our choice, but can't we make the best of it? For the sake of our child?"

He stood abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor. "I'm doing my duty. That's all that matters. This... relationship," he spat the word, "is nothing more than a facade."

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "I don't want to be just a facade. I want to be a family."

Soshiro's eyes flashed with anger. "You want? What about what I want? Did anyone ever ask me if I wanted this?"

Y/N recoiled as if struck. "No one asked me either."

He took a step towards her, his presence imposing. "Then you should understand. This is a prison for both of us."

She stared at him, her heart breaking anew. "But it doesn't have to be."

He shook his head, turning away from her. "Yes, it does. Accept it, Y/N. This is our reality."

With that, he left the room, leaving her standing there, her hopes shattered. She sank to the floor, the sobs she had been holding back finally breaking free. The walls of their home, once a place she had hoped would be filled with love and warmth, now felt like the cold, unyielding bars of a prison.

--

Y/N sat in the corner of their modest home, her brush gently sweeping across the canvas. The soft strokes of paint were like whispers, echoing her unspoken thoughts. Her fingers traced the curves of a landscape, every stroke a memory of a love lost and a life forsaken.

"My dear," she murmured softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "this painting… it's a piece of my heart. Just like you."

She paused, her hand resting on her swollen belly, feeling the gentle movements within. The baby kicked gently, as if in response to her words. Y/N smiled faintly, a bittersweet expression crossing her face.

"You know," she continued, her voice tinged with sadness, "there was someone before your father. Someone who made me feel… alive."

Her mind drifted back to a time before the arranged marriage, before duty overshadowed desire. She remembered a young officer in the Defense Force, his smile warm and his eyes full of kindness. They had shared stolen moments of happiness, their love blossoming amidst the chaos of kaiju attacks and endless battles.

"He was an officer," she whispered, her voice catching with emotion. "Brave and kind. He made me feel loved, truly loved."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled the day he had died, sacrificing himself to protect others from a rampaging kaiju. The pain of loss still lingered, a wound that had never fully healed.

"I wished…" Y/N's voice trembled as she spoke to her unborn child, "I wished it could have been him. That I could have married him instead."

She paused, wiping away a tear with the back of her hand. The painting before her was a testament to her longing, a silent tribute to a love that had been torn away too soon.

"But life doesn't always give us what we want," she whispered sadly. "Sometimes we have to accept what we're given and find our own strength."

As she painted, the colors blended together in a kaleidoscope of emotions. Each brushstroke was a testament to resilience, to the quiet determination to create beauty from pain.

"You," she said softly, placing a hand on her belly again, "you are my hope. My reason to keep going, even when the world feels cold and lonely."

The baby stirred within her, as if sensing her love and sorrow. Y/N smiled through her tears, her heart heavy yet somehow lighter for having spoken her truth.

"We'll make our own happiness, won't we?" she whispered, her voice filled with quiet determination. "Together, we'll find a way to make our own path, away from duty and expectations."

With a final stroke of her brush, Y/N completed the painting. It was a masterpiece of longing and loss, a testament to a love that had been and a love that was yet to come.

As she gazed at the finished canvas, she knew that her journey was far from over. But with her unborn child nestled safely within her, she found a renewed sense of purpose and a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance for happiness in the midst of duty and sacrifice.

The memory of her lost love lingered like a soft breeze in the corner of her mind. He had been an officer in the Defense Force, dedicated to protecting humanity from the relentless kaiju assaults. His name was never spoken aloud anymore, but in the quiet moments of solitude, Y/N allowed herself to remember.

"He was everything to me your father is not," she whispered to her unborn child, her voice a mix of reverence and sadness. "He was kind, gentle… he made me feel cherished."

She recalled their stolen moments together, stolen from the chaos of battle and the pressures of duty. Their love had been a secret, a fragile oasis in a desert of obligations.

"He understood my dreams," Y/N continued softly, her eyes distant as she painted. "He encouraged me to paint, to pursue what made my heart sing."

But fate had been cruel. In the heat of battle, he had sacrificed himself to save others, a hero's death that left Y/N shattered and alone.

"I never got to tell him," she murmured, tears glistening on her cheeks. "I never got to tell him how much I loved him."

The painting before her captured the essence of their love—a tranquil landscape bathed in warm hues, a reflection of the peace they had briefly found together.

Y/N set down her brush, her fingers lingering on the canvas. The room was quiet, save for the soft rustling of paper and the gentle rhythm of her own breathing. She glanced at the painting, feeling a sense of peace settle over her weary heart.

"And your father," she said softly, her thoughts turning to Soshiro Hoshina, Vice-Captain of the Defense Force's Third Division. "He's not like him. But he… he has his own strengths."

Y/N's gaze softened as she thought of Soshiro, proud of his position and the dedication he showed to his duty. Despite their strained relationship, she admired his commitment and the way he commanded respect among his peers.

"I wish he would make an effort," she admitted quietly to her unborn child, "to see beyond duty and obligation."

There were moments, fleeting glimpses, where she saw glimpses of kindness in Soshiro's eyes, moments that stirred a fragile hope within her. She longed for him to understand, to bridge the distance that separated them.

"He could be a good father," Y/N murmured, her voice tinged with longing. "If only he would try."

With a sigh, she placed a hand on her belly again, feeling the baby's reassuring movements. In that tiny life, she found solace and strength—a reason to hope for a future where love and happiness could coexist with duty and sacrifice.

As the sun began to set outside, casting long shadows across the room, Y/N vowed to cherish the memories of her lost love while nurturing the possibility of a new beginning with Soshiro and their unborn child. She knew the road ahead would be challenging, but she was determined to find a way to make peace with the past and embrace the future that awaited them all.

In the quiet of their home, amidst the whispers of her heart and the promise of tomorrow, Y/N found a sense of resilience and hope that would carry her through the trials yet to come.

"I think one day, he'll come around, he's a great man, but we are stuck to a evil situation, I'll keep pursuing him maybe with the right timing, he'll see i'm worth his heart."

--

Y/N stood before the mirror in the bedroom, her reflection framed by soft morning light filtering through the window. She smoothed down the fabric of the floral dress she had chosen carefully, a hint of makeup highlighting her features. Today, she had decided, would be different. Today, she would make an effort.

With a determined breath, she adjusted a stray lock of hair and nodded to herself. Maybe, just maybe, today Soshiro would notice her efforts. She clung to that hope like a lifeline as she gathered a lunchbox filled with his favorite foods and headed out.

-At the Defense Force Headquarters-

The Defense Force Headquarters bustled with activity as Y/N navigated the corridors, the lunchbox cradled carefully in her hands. She had never been to the headquarters before, but she was determined to surprise Soshiro and show him that she cared.

She found her way to the Third Division's office, heart fluttering with nerves. The door was open, revealing a team of officers engrossed in their duties. Soshiro stood at the front, his commanding presence unmistakable. Y/N's pulse quickened as she approached, a nervous smile playing on her lips.

"Soshiro," she greeted softly, trying to catch his attention.

He looked up briefly, his expression guarded. "Y/N? What are you doing here?"

Her smile faltered for a moment, but she pressed on. "I… I brought you lunch. I thought we could have lunch together."

Soshiro glanced around at his team, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face. "You shouldn't have come here," he murmured, his voice barely concealing his annoyance.

Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creep up her cheeks, but she pushed it aside. "I just wanted to do something nice for you," she insisted, holding out the lunchbox.

He hesitated for a moment before reluctantly accepting it. "Thank you," he said curtly, his gaze flickering over her outfit and makeup "Why are you wearing that? And are you wearing make up?"

She smiled, she did something right. "Yes, do you like it ? I thought that it would look nice."

"You're too big for that right now, wear something appropiate for God sake." ...oh

Some of his teammates exchanged glances, the awkward tension dancing in their eyes. Y/N fought to keep her composure, her cheeks burning with humiliation.

"Always putting on a show." Soshiro remarked casually to his team, his tone dismissive.

Laughter erupted from the group, the sound echoing in the small office. Y/N's heart sank as she fought back tears, her hands trembling, also laughing, as if she didn't recognize the mocking.

"I... I also made a cake for everyone, I hope everyone likes chocolate, you guys work really hard, so I decided to give you something since I was already planning on coming here." She tried, she really did, she just put it down and pretended to be as happy as she could fake.

"I… I'll leave you to it," she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper. Without waiting for a response, she turned and hurried out of the office, the sound of laughter following her down the corridor.

--

Outside, Y/N found a secluded spot in the courtyard, hidden away from prying eyes. She sank to the ground, clutching her knees to her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks. The lunchbox lay forgotten beside her, the food suddenly tasteless.

"Why do I even bother?" she whispered to herself, her voice thick with despair. "No matter what I do, it's never enough."

She had tried so hard to make Soshiro notice her, to earn his affection and respect. She had dressed up, put on makeup, gone out of her way to show him how much she cared. And yet, it had all been for nothing.

"He doesn't care," she sobbed, the weight of rejection crushing her spirit. "He'll never care."

The courtyard was silent around her, the air heavy with the weight of her disappointment. She wiped away her tears with trembling hands, trying to regain her composure.

"He's right," she muttered bitterly to herself. "I do try too hard. I should have known better."

But deep down, beneath the pain and humiliation, a small voice whispered defiantly. She deserved to be loved. She deserved to be seen, not as a burden or an obligation, but as a person worthy of affection.

--

Days turned into weeks, and Y/N found herself retreating further into the confines of her room. The once vibrant woman, filled with dreams of painting and love, now felt like a shadow of herself. Pregnancy had brought changes to her body—subtle at first, but increasingly noticeable to her critical eyes. She avoided mirrors, unable to face the reflection that stared back at her with insecurities and doubts.

Her maids bustled about the house, attending to chores she once took pride in doing herself. Y/N had withdrawn from everything that brought her joy. The easel stood untouched in the corner, the canvas blank and waiting for strokes that never came. Meals went half-eaten as she tried to compensate for the weight she felt she had gained.

"I'm not pretty enough," she whispered to herself, fingers tracing the curve of her belly where their unborn child nestled. "Not worth it enough."

She stayed in a separate room from Soshiro, their marriage now a chasm of unspoken words and unmet expectations. The sound of his footsteps in the hallway made her heart race with a mix of hope and fear. She longed for him to notice her absence, to care enough to reach out, but each day passed in silence.

--

Soshiro returned from a long day at the Defense Force headquarters, his thoughts troubled. He had noticed Y/N's absence at meals, her retreating presence a stark contrast to the woman he had married—a woman he barely knew. His duties had consumed him, but now a gnawing worry clawed at his conscience.

"Soshiro," his second-in-command called as he entered their shared living space. "Have you seen Y/N? She hasn't been around."

He paused, his brow furrowing. "She's probably in her room," he replied nonchalantly, though his heart tightened with concern.

"She hasn't been seen all day," his second-in-command pressed, his voice tinged with worry.

Soshiro's footsteps quickened as he made his way to Y/N's room. The door was ajar, a sliver of light spilling into the dim hallway. He pushed it open gently, his eyes searching the room.

Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, her gaze fixed on the floor. She looked fragile, her shoulders slumped and her expression distant. The room felt suffocating with unspoken tension.

"Y/N," Soshiro began tentatively, his voice breaking the heavy silence.

She looked up, her eyes meeting his briefly before flickering away. "What do you want, Soshiro?" Her voice was hollow, devoid of its usual warmth.

"I've been worried," he admitted softly, stepping closer. "You haven't been yourself lately."

A bitter laugh escaped her lips, tinged with self-derision. "My apologies for inconveniencing you," she replied, her tone laced with bitterness.

Soshiro frowned, kneeling in front of her. "Y/N, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

She shook her head, strands of hair falling around her face. "It doesn't matter," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I'm just… not good enough, am I?"

He reached out to touch her hand, but she flinched away. "That's not true," he insisted, his voice firm. "You are more than enough."

Y/N laughed again, a bitter sound that echoed in the quiet room. "Do you know what it's like, Soshiro? To feel invisible in your own life? To try so hard, only to realize it's never going to be enough?"

He hesitated, at a loss for words. Guilt gnawed at him—the guilt of neglect, of failing to see the pain she carried beneath a facade of duty.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, his voice barely a whisper. "I didn't realize…"

"You didn't realize," she echoed, tears welling in her eyes. "You didn't even notice."

Silence enveloped them once more, broken only by the faint sound of her stifled sobs. Y/N wiped away her tears with shaking hands, her resolve hardening with each passing moment.

"I'll make it easy for you, Soshiro," she said quietly, her voice steady despite the turmoil within. "I'll be the perfect obedient wife. I'll fulfill my duty and nothing more."

"No," he protested, reaching for her hand again, but she pulled away.

"It's better this way," she insisted, her tone final. "You won't have to worry about me anymore."

With that, she rose from the bed, leaving him sitting there, his heart heavy with regret and a sense of loss he couldn't fully comprehend. She walked past him, her steps measured and purposeful, as if steeling herself against the pain.

Soshiro watched her go, a knot tightening in his chest. He wanted to chase after her, to hold her and tell her that she was wrong—that she was loved and cherished. But he remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by his own inadequacies and the weight of their fractured relationship.

--

Alone in her room once more, Y/N sank to the floor, her back against the cold wall. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked now, the weight of her despair crushing her spirit.

"I tried," she whispered to the empty room, her voice breaking. "I tried so hard."

Her hand rested on her belly, feeling the gentle kicks of their unborn child. "I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice choked with emotion. "I'm so sorry."

In the darkness of her room, surrounded by the echoes of shattered dreams and unspoken words, Y/N allowed herself to grieve. She grieved for the love she had lost, for the hope that had faded, and for the woman she had once been.

But amidst the darkness, a tiny spark of determination flickered—a resolve to survive, for her sake and for the child growing within her. She didn't know what the future held, but she vowed to find a way forward, even if it meant burying her own desires and dreams beneath a facade of duty and obedience.

[xxspringmelodyxx]

Why Her and Not Me?

Gojo Satoru x F.Reader x Geto Suguru (Angst) Part IV

Hello my lovely readers! I am back with part IV, so I’m just gonna cut to the chase and let you all read! Thank you all for the support, I really appreciate you all so much <3333 Now, without further ado…Enjoy~

Masterlist

A few more weeks had slipped by, each day bringing Toru closer to the edge of his sanity. The once familiar rhythm of his life had been disrupted, thrown into disarray by the growing distance between you and him. No matter how hard he tried to push aside his feelings, they continued to gnaw at him, a relentless reminder of what he had lost.

Every passing day seemed to deepen the void that had formed in his heart, leaving him feeling hollow and incomplete. The ache of longing grew more pronounced with each passing moment, a constant presence that refused to be ignored. And as much as he tried to distract himself with work and other activities, his thoughts inevitably circled back to you, to the warmth of your smile and the comfort of your presence.

But it wasn't just the absence of your friendship that tormented him; it was the way you seemed to be drifting further and further away, drawn to Suguru like a moth to a flame. Every shared laugh, every whispered conversation, served as a painful reminder of the bond you shared with Suguru, a connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

Toru's frustration boiled beneath the surface, simmering with a volatile intensity that threatened to consume him. He couldn't understand why you were pulling away from him, why you seemed to prefer Suguru's company over his own. Was it something he had done? Something he had said? The questions swirled in his mind, each one adding fuel to the fire of his insecurity and self-doubt.

And as time continued to move forward, Toru's relationship with Osaka began to move backwards. It was becoming evident that their relationship was starting to suffer under the weight of his internal turmoil. He found himself growing increasingly distant and aloof, unable to fully commit to their relationship. He couldn’t, not when he felt his heart quickly being tethered to you. Their once easy bond had been replaced by tension and unease, their conversations strained and stilted.

Osaka, sensing the growing distance between them, had tried to reach out to Toru, to bridge the gap that had formed between them. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to break through the wall he had erected around his heart. It was as if he was a million miles away, lost in a world of his own making. And Toru felt horrible for it.

His guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders, a constant companion that refused to be ignored. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was betraying Osaka, the girl who had stood by his side through thick and thin during all of this. She didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of his internal struggle, yet he couldn't deny the growing chasm that had formed between them.

Every moment spent with Osaka was tinged with a sense of guilt and remorse, a nagging reminder of the pain he was causing her. He could see the hurt in her eyes, the confusion and frustration that mirrored his own. And despite his best efforts to reassure her, to convince her that everything was okay, he knew deep down that their relationship was crumbling beneath the weight of his unresolved feelings.

But try as he might, Toru couldn't bring himself to end things with Osaka, couldn't find the words to shatter her heart into a million pieces. The thought of hurting her, of breaking her trust, filled him with a profound sense of shame and self-loathing. He had promised to be there for her, to love and cherish her with all his heart, and yet here he was, torn between two worlds, unable to give her the love and devotion she deserved.

And as the guilt gnawed at him, Toru couldn't help but wonder if he was doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Was he destined to hurt the people he cared about most, to leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake? The thought filled him with a profound sense of despair, a fear that he would never be able to escape the cycle of pain and regret that seemed to define his life.

Yet, despite his fear and uncertainty, Toru knew that he couldn't continue to live in limbo, caught between the past and the present. He needed to make a choice, to either let go of his feelings for you and move forward with Osaka, or risk everything for a chance at true happiness.

But amidst the darkness that threatened to consume him, there was a glimmer of hope, a flicker of light that refused to be extinguished. It was the memory of you, of the warmth of your smile and the kindness in your eyes. You were his anchor in a sea of uncertainty, the one constant in his ever-changing world.

Despite his best efforts to push you away, to bury his feelings beneath a facade of indifference, Toru couldn't help but be drawn back to you. It was as if an invisible force was pulling him towards you, a magnetic attraction that defied reason and logic. And as much as he tried to deny it, to convince himself that he could live without you, he knew deep down that he was fighting a losing battle.

With each passing day, his feelings for you grew stronger, more insistent, until they consumed his every thought and action. He found himself longing for the sound of your voice, the warmth of your touch, the comfort of your presence by his side. But it seemed like you were doing your best to avoid him at every turn, adding to his frustration and confusion.

No matter how hard he tried to close the growing divide between you, to repair the fractured bond that had once held you together, it felt like you were slipping further and further away. And as Toru grappled with the realization that he might be losing you for good, he couldn't help but feel a sense of desperation and despair creeping in.

For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he had pushed you away too far. And as he contemplated the daunting prospect of facing a future without you by his side, Toru knew that he would have to confront his demons head-on if he ever hoped to find the redemption he so desperately craved. And he needed to do something about it now before it actually is too late.

——

As Suguru reflected on the past few months, he couldn’t help but marvel at how swiftly his bond with you had transformed. What had begun as a casual friendship had bloomed into something far more profound, a connection that seemed to defy explanation.

He found himself irresistibly drawn to you, captivated by the melody of your laughter, the radiance of your smile, and the sparkle in your eyes that hinted at hidden depths. Each moment spent in your company felt like a stolen treasure, precious and fleeting yet infinitely valuable.

He absolutely cherished and loved the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you listened intently to his stories, hanging on to his every word as if it were the most important thing in the world. It was a feeling unlike anything he had ever experienced before, a sense of belonging and connection that filled him with joy and contentment. It was one of the main things about you that was unique compared to everyone else he’s known.

Of course, Suguru had always known there was something special about you. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, he felt a spark light up between you two. It was as if fate had brought you into his life, weaving your presence into the fabric of his very being.

In the past, he found himself often watching you from afar, admiring your grace, your kindness, and the way you lit up the room with just your smile. After that, it didn’t take too long before Suguru found himself falling head over heels for you, unable to shake the feeling that you were meant to be together.

However, Suguru kept his emotions carefully concealed, fearing that they would jeopardize the friendship he cherished so dearly. He had convinced himself that it was enough to simply be near you, to bask in the warmth of your presence without expecting anything more.

And despite his growing feelings for you, Suguru had always been aware of your connection with Toru. He had seen the way you looked at him, the spark of affection in your eyes whenever he was near. And knowing that you liked Toru, Suguru had chosen to keep his feelings to himself, burying them deep within his heart where they could never be discovered.

Before Toru shattered your heart with his confession about loving someone else, Suguru maintained a careful distance, knowing that being close to you would only intensify his own feelings of longing and heartache. He watched from afar as you navigated your feelings for Toru, silently suffering as he witnessed the love and admiration etched on your face whenever you spoke of Toru.

However, he wouldn’t just straight up ignore you. He could never do that to someone like you. Whenever you needed comforting, Suguru made a conscious effort to be there for you, offering a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on whenever you needed it. He knew that his own feelings had to take a backseat to your happiness, and he was willing to endure the agony of unrequited love if it meant easing your burden, even if just a little.

But when news of Toru's and your situation finally reached Suguru's ears, it was as if a floodgate had been opened, unleashing a torrent of emotions he had long kept buried. The sight of you, heartbroken and vulnerable, stirred something deep within him, igniting a fierce determination to protect you from further harm.

It was in that moment that Suguru made a silent vow to himself: to do whatever it took to help you heal, to be the rock you could lean on in your time of need. And as he took the initiative to reach out to you, offering his unwavering support and understanding, he couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the beginning of something more.

———

Suguru found himself unable to resist the urge to reach out to you. He knew that you had been pretty busy the past few days with work and all, but all he wanted to do was to see your face and hear your voice.

So, with a sense of determination burning in his chest, Suguru picked up his phone and sent you a message, inviting you to join him for a walk in the park. He knew that the tranquil beauty of nature had a way of soothing the soul, and he hoped that spending time together in such a serene setting would help distract you from your work.

As Suguru awaited your response, he felt a familiar tug of nerves fluttering in his chest. As he stood beneath the swaying branches of the park's trees, Suguru couldn't help but wonder how you would react to his invitation. Would you be intrigued by the idea of an impromptu outing, or would you see it as nothing more than a casual gesture between friends? Either way, he was determined to make the most of their time together, cherishing every moment spent in your company.

When your reply came, filled with warmth and gratitude, Suguru felt a surge of relief wash over him. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of eager anticipation as he prepared to meet you.

About 10 minutes had passed and not even a second later, Suguru read a message from you saying you were at the park. He texted you his exact location, showing you where he was.

When you arrived, Suguru was struck once again by just how breathtakingly beautiful you were, your smile lighting up the evening air like a beacon of hope. He couldn't help but feel a swell of pride as he watched you approach, your eyes sparkling with curiosity and excitement.

"Hey, you," he greeted you, his voice soft and warm as he reached out to take your hand in his. "I'm so glad you could make it."

As you fell into step beside him, Suguru felt a sense of peace settle over him, as if the world had suddenly slowed to a gentle rhythm just for the two of you. The park was bathed in the soft glow of twilight, the air alive with the sound of birdsong and the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

For a while, the two of you simply walked in companionable silence, content to lose yourselves in the beauty of the world around you. Though, it didn’t take long before you two decided to situate yourselves somewhere nice to relax.

As the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting long shadows across the park, Suguru and you found yourselves seated on a weathered wooden bench, bathed in the warm glow of the fading daylight. The air was filled with the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets, lending an air of tranquility to the bustling city around you.

"You know," Suguru began, his voice soft and gentle, "I've always loved coming to this park. It's like an oasis of calm in the middle of all this chaos."

You nodded in agreement, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, it's definitely one of my favorite places to escape to when life gets a bit overwhelming."

Suguru agreed, taking in every second.

For Suguru, every moment spent with you felt like a precious gift, a fleeting glimpse of paradise in an otherwise ordinary world. He couldn't help but be drawn to you, captivated by the gentle curve of your smile and the sparkle in your eyes. And as you sat side by side, the distance between you seemed to shrink until there was nothing left but the space you shared.

"I'm really glad you invited me to come here today," you said, your voice soft and sincere. "It's been a while since I've just sat and enjoyed the beauty of nature."

Suguru smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through his chest at your words. "I'm glad you came too. It's always better when you're here."

You sighed contentedly, leaning back against the bench and closing your eyes for a moment, relishing in the peace and quiet of the park. Suguru glanced at you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he saw the light outline your beautiful figure.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he continued to bask in your presence.

You nodded, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, it really is.” You finished, clueless to the fact that he was actually talking about you and not the scenery around you two.

For a while, the two of you sat in companionable silence, lost in your own thoughts as the world continued to spin around you. But eventually, Suguru broke the silence, his voice hesitant as he spoke.

“You know,” he began, his words slow and deliberate, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About life, and where I’m headed, and… well, everything, really.”

You turned to look at him, curiosity shining in your eyes. “Oh? And what kind of things have you been thinking about?”

Suguru shrugged, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks. “Oh, you know, just… stuff. Like, where I see myself in five years, and what I want out of life, and… yeah.”

You nodded, sensing that there was more to Suguru’s words than he was letting on. “It sounds like you’ve been doing some serious soul-searching.”

Suguru chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, you could say that. I guess I’ve just been feeling a bit lost lately, you know? Like I’m drifting aimlessly through life, without any real direction or purpose.”

You reached out and placed a comforting hand on Suguru’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I think a lot of people feel that way sometimes. Life can be so unpredictable, and it’s easy to feel like you’re just along for the ride.”

Suguru smiled and nodded at you, his eyes shimmering with love and admiration for you.

“Yeah, exactly. That was when I realized,” Suguru said, his voice tinged with a hint of self-deprecation, “that maybe it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Maybe it’s okay to just take things one day at a time and see where life takes me.”

As Suguru finished speaking, his words lingered in the air, carrying with them a sense of introspection and hope. You took a moment to absorb his sentiments, letting them sink in before offering your response.

"You’re right," you replied, nodding thoughtfully. "Life can be overwhelming when we try to plan every step of the way. Sometimes, it's about embracing the uncertainty and trusting that things will fall into place in their own time."

Suguru's eyes lit up with understanding, his smile widening at your words. "Exactly," he agreed, a sense of relief washing over him. "It's like...learning to dance in the rain instead of waiting for the storm to pass. Finding joy in the journey, even when the destination is unclear." He finished, chuckling to himself at his metaphor.

You couldn't help but smile at Suguru's metaphor, touched by the wisdom in his words. "I like that analogy," you admitted, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. "It's a reminder to appreciate the beauty in life's unexpected moments, to find happiness in the midst of chaos."

The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, the weight of Suguru’s and your words hanging in the air between you. But eventually, Suguru spoke again, his voice soft and vulnerable.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, too,” he admitted, his gaze flicking nervously to meet yours. “About our friendship, and how much it means to me.”

Your heart skipped a beat at Suguru’s words, a warmth spreading through your chest at the sincerity in his voice. “I feel the same way, Suguru. You mean a lot to me, too.”

Suguru smiled, a genuine smile that reached all the way to his eyes. “I’m glad to hear that. Because, honestly, I don’t know what I would do without you, Y/n. You’ve been such an important part of my life, and I don’t ever want to lose that.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached out and took Suguru’s hand in yours, squeezing it tightly. “You won’t, Suguru. I promise.”

There was a warmth in your gaze, a kindness in your smile, that made Suguru's heart swell with emotion. In that moment, he knew that he had found someone truly special, someone he could share his deepest thoughts and feelings with without fear of judgment or rejection.

As the air crackled with anticipation, you couldn't help but feel the intensity of the moment washing over you. Slowly leaning in closer to Suguru, the distance between you seemed to vanish, melting away in the warmth of your shared breath. His proximity sent a shiver of excitement coursing through you, each exhale drawing you nearer to him.

In that fleeting moment, the world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you suspended in time. Your lips hovered mere inches apart, the tantalizing promise of a kiss hanging between you like a delicate thread. The anticipation built to a fever pitch, your heart pounding in your chest as you teetered on the edge of something monumental.

Caught in the throes of desire, neither of you dared to move, the magnetic pull between you holding you captive in its grasp. The electricity in the air crackled with unrestrained passion, igniting a fire within you that burned brighter with each passing second.

In that suspended moment, it felt as though the entire universe had conspired to bring you together, binding you to each other in a dance as old as time itself. And as you stood on the precipice of possibility, you couldn't help but wonder what lay on the other side, yearning to bridge the final gap that separated you from Suguru's waiting lips.

”Y/n…” Suguru said, his voice barely above a whisper as he felt heat rise to his face from the closeness.

But just as the tension reached its peak, the sound of footsteps approaching shattered the spell, jolting you both back to reality. Startled, you pulled away from each other, turning to see Shoko and Hime emerging from the shadows with curious expressions on their faces.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shoko said with a mischievous grin, “but we couldn’t help but notice you two lost in your own little world over here.”

Hime nodded in agreement, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah, we thought we’d come over and see what all the fuss was about.”

Blushing furiously, you exchanged a sheepish glance with Suguru, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and amusement at being caught in such a vulnerable moment. As Shoko and Hime joined you, the four of you fell into easy conversation, the interruption quickly forgotten as laughter filled the air.

Though the moment had been interrupted, the connection between you and Suguru remained palpable, lingering like an echo in the air.

As the sun dipped below the horizon and the first stars began to twinkle in the evening sky, Suguru knew that there would be plenty of time for declarations of love and grand romantic gestures. For now, he was content to simply be in your presence, to bask in the warmth of your smile. His heart was still beating rapidly from the moment you two just shared not too long ago. Was it truly possible that you felt the same way about him as he did you? Or was all of that just simply due to the heat of the moment. The same question pondered in your own mind.

The both of you had no idea what the future held in store for the two of you, but one thing was certain: as long as you both had each other, you knew that everything would be okay…or at least you hope.

__________________

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[kpislby]

A love never to forget

parings: bf/ex bf!riki x fem!reader

synopsis: After a sudden and unexplained breakup, Riki struggles with the emotional fallout and the absence of closure. As he grapples with his grief and searches for answers, a surprising discovery forces him to confront his pain and find a new path forward.

genre: angst

warnings: death of character, mental health, grief and loss, i think that's all but let me know if there is more i left out !!

the sounds of rain echoed through the room, constant noise that filled the silence between them. y/n sat on the edge of the bed, hands clenched in her lap, looking down at the floor.

riki was pacing around the room, trying to piece together how they had ended up here, in this moment, when everything had seem fine just days ago.

“what now?” his voice cracked, but he didn’t care. “you can’t just walk away like this, not without a reason.” ..more under the cut

y/n flinched, her fingers tightening together, but she didn’t look up, “i need space,” she whispered, the words fragile and brittle, like she’d rehearsed them a thousand times but never believed them.

his chest tightened, frustration bubbling to the surface. “space? from what? from us?” he knelt in front of her, searching for any sign of the girl he loved, the girl who, just a week ago, had been laughing beside him like nothing was wrong.

but now, she was a stranger. distant. cold.

“you’re not telling me everything” he said softly “i know you, and i know when you’re hiding something from me y/n”

her breath hitched, and for a moment, he thought she was going to break, to tell him the truth. but she swallowed hard, closing her eyes as if it took every ounce of strength to hold her self together.

“i’m sorry riki, i really am” she murmured. “i just- i cant do this anymore”

y/n looked up at him, the tears clung to her lashes, trembling like they, too, were afraid to fall.

riki’s breath hitched, he hated seeing her like this. but what he hated more was not being able to comfort her.

he longed to reach out, to pull her close and ease her pain, but his hands remained frozen at his sides. helpless, he watched the love of his life unravel before him, hurting in ways he couldn’t understand.

she rose slowly, her gaze lingering on him like a memory she wished she could forget. Every step felt like a betrayal as she gathered her things, her heart breaking with each quiet movement.

“baby please” his voice cracked, raw with desperation as she neared the door. “don’t do this,” he whispered, tears tracing down his cheeks. “i love you”

i love you… those three words shattered her. she wanted to turn back, to let his love pull her in one last time, but she couldn’t. not now. not when leaving was the only way to save him from the agony that laid ahead.

with a final glance, she ran—out of his apartment, out of his life—tears falling freely as she disappeared into the night, hoping he could one day forget her, even if she would never forget him.

fast forward three months

riki was laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. the familiar hum of the city outside seemed more depressing than ever. sleepless nights became a norm, each one blending into the next with an unrelenting blur of darkness. The echoes of their last conversation replayed in his mind, a broken record that was played on loop constantly.

he had tried so hard to distract himself—immersing in work or losing himself whilst dancing to loud music. yet, nothing seemed to help. his heart still left broken, nothing being able to tape his heart together again.

each attempt to escape only led him back to the same agonizing question: why did she leave? the absence of closure tearing him into pieces, like an endless void, leaving him relentless and hollow.

deperate for relief, riki talked to the ones he trusted most. they would tell him time would heal, but he found it hard to believe. the void she left behind felt too great to overcome, and the journey to move on seemed as impossible as the answers he sought.

one day, riki couldn’t handel the unknown anymore, he needed answers.

he reached out to all of their mutual friends, looked up her socials, did everything he could think of

nothing

he spent hours searching for answers, only to be met with silence. exhausted, he decided to continue his search for answers later, hope for a glimmer of resolution.

a few days later

riki visited his grandmother’s grave, a sanctuary where he sought solace. his grandmother had practically raised him, having been his rock when his parents were absent. her passing last year had torn a gaping hole in his heart, a wound that the recent breakup had only worsened.

sitting next to her tombstone, he cried silently, his shoulders shaking with each sob. “Why? Why does this world hate me so much?” he whispered, his voice breaking with every word.

after hours of crying and cursing the world for being so cruel, he looked up, his eyes red and puffy, only to notice a small kitten nuzzling against him. he extended a trembling hand, careful not to frighten the tiny creature. “hey, little guy,” he murmured, gently petting the kitten. the kitten, after a moment, pulled away and wandered toward a nearby tombstone. curiosity piqued, riki followed.

the kitten meowed softly, urging him closer.

when riki approached the tombstone, he was struck dumb. the name etched into the stone sent a chill down his spine:

y/n l/n

2005 - 2024

forever in our hearts, your love and kindness will never be forgotten

his breath came in ragged gasps as he tried to comprehend the gravestone’s message. a mix of disbelief and agony overwhelmed him. he sank to his knees, his hands gripping the grass as if it might anchor him to reality

a thousand thoughts collided in his mind, each more painful than the last.

as he sat there, tears streaming down his face, he noticed the kitten once more. it meowed once more. it meowed softly, brushing against his leg before settling beside the grave. riki reached out, his hand trembling as he stroked the little creature’s fur. the comfort of the kitten’s presence was a small solace amidst the storm of his grief.

riki felt a sudden weight lifting from him. it was as if the kitten was offering a tiny measure of peace, a gentle reminder that life, despite cruelty, continued to hold moments of tenderness. the simple act of connection helped him feel less alone in sorrow.

after a long time, he rose unsteadily to his feet, his heart heavy but his resolve strengthening. he knew y/n sent him this small form of comfort.

The pain will always be there, but perhaps it could be woven into something meaningful–a reminder of the love they once shared and the lessons learned.

riki glanced once last time at y/n’s grave, his heart aching but also filled with a newfound sense of purpose. he knew that her death would forever shape his, but he was determined to carry forward her kindness and warmth, to live in a way that would make her proud.

as he walked away from the graveyard, the rain had stopped, and the first hints of dawn began to break through the clouds. the city, once a backdrop of despair, now felt like a canvas for a new beginning. the path ahead was uncertain, but riki took a first step with a fragile hope that, though scarred, he could find a way to heal and to remember her with love rather than just pain.

sooo… did you guys like it?!? hahahaha sorry riki stannssss, i wanted to make an angst fic and riki came ti minddddd. i love you guysss !! thank you so much for reading ❤️

[lynnlovesthestars]

Blood.

Pairing: Astarion x gn!reader

Genre and warnings: hurt and comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, mention of torture, emptiness, lots of feelings ngl.

Gentle reminder that what is going to be under the cut, is a sensitive topic, we can't know who is going to scroll past it or read, so please be mindful about those around you. Myself I am a survivor and though I'm confident enough to write about it, it doesn't mean everyone is, so once more, please excercise kindness towards others.<3

Part One- scars.

Astarion cradled your body to his chest, he rested against the headboard while keeping you in his lap, his cold fingers traced shapes as he helped you calm your breath.

Even with the bandages wrapped around your body, the raw wounds ached no matter what you laid on, and if you had the chance of laying on a bed and in pain, or staying cradled in Astarion's arms still in pain, you always picked the second.

There was something about his touch that was able to soothe you. Particularly now, when you couldn't find the strength to do anything, his arms around your middle reminded you were in a safe corner, he wouldn't hurt you.

"My love" he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on top of your head. “You need to eat something, and take a bath” He hoped you’d turn your head, even just say yes or no, but you couldn’t, you just let everything happen. It’s been three days since you last had something similar to a meal, and Astarion wasn’t fond of the idea, especially since you were also dangerously close to being void of all your blood.

He didn’t want to force you to look at him when his fingers gently turned your face towards his, he knew what it felt like, so he didn’t force you to open your eyes, he simply rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed as well, as he was just caressing your cheek.

“I wish I could just take away the pain, my love” He kept his voice low, barely a whisper, words no one else had to hear but you. “I know it hurts, but you need at least a few bites of anything, even just a piece of bread.” His other arm was still wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him. He was never going to let you go, he would fight for the both of you if you allowed him to. If he had the chance to take the burden of your pain as well, he wouldn’t hesitate. He would carry it all, if it meant he could see your smile or hear your laugh, if it meant he could lay next to you as you slept a night without nightmares, if it meant you would scold him because carrying your pain was an idiotic idea, cause it would break you to see him in pain, the same way it’s breaking him to see you like this. Despite this he knew that you’d carry his pain if it meant he was okay, and he would scold you the same way.

He stayed silent as you worked slowly on his words, he knew well how hard it must be to even get your brain to move those cogs slowly, how hollow you could feel, how dirty your soul would feel. He just wanted to be there for you, help you, like he wished someone did with him.

Oh how he wished someone just held him close the first night he spent in solitary confinement, or when he’d have to endure months of starvation. The first time he was compelled to lure someone, he just wanted to scrape his skin off. What Cazador did to you was just like being stabbed over and over again while taking a bath in salt, but he had to be strong for the two of you. He promised to himself that one day this hollow feeling in your chests would just be a distant memory.

For a moment he was absorbed by his thoughts, he almost didn’t feel you squeezing ever so slightly his arm, like he guided you to do the first night, when he realized you were too hurt to speak anything but the pleas of in your nightmares.

“I’ll bring you some fruit then, my love” He placed another delicate kiss on your cheek before laying you on the bed, under the thick duvet. He quickly made his way towards the chest, gathering a plate and filling it with some fruit Halsin gathered in the woods outside Baldur’s Gate. He usually would eat the fruit as it was, uncaring if it had to be rinsed, but he put so much care in this plate, asking Shadowheart to purify the fruit before giving it to you, and cast some sort of heal on it as well, since you didn’t allow anyone but him to touch you. 

Once more you let everything happen around you, Astarion would help you up and slowly feed you a small portion of fruit while praising. Letting you know how good you were doing, and how proud he was of you.

He would do it so gently that the rest of the group was hardly able to keep his eyes off him, as he would try and coax a smile from you, while slowly he helped you eat all the food.

His tone was once more low just for you to listen. “Do you feel like you can walk a little?” He asked. At the absence of you squeeze, he took your hand in his. “Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?” You could see it in his eyes, how he was pleading with you to trust him on this, to let him care for you. You trusted him with your life.

“Please, yes” You shakily let out as you lowered your eyes to your hands. You didn’t notice his reaction, since he just jumped up, but he could feel his eyes instantly getting glassy, and the knot in his throat slowly unclenching at the sound of your voice. It was days that the only thing that fell from your lips were teary no’s and heart shattering screams.

He was so afraid of hurting you, of pressing too hard on the wounds, unaware how you actually needed it, no matter the pain it would cause in those few days you learnt how to dissociate from reality, to ignore the stinging sensation or the phantom touch haunting you through the day. Of course you could tell the difference between Astarion’s fingers just mindlessly tracing your skin, and the feeling of nails dipping in your hips, at your legs or at your arms, fighting to pull you one way or another, while also trying to keep you from moving. You wanted to erase those memories, forget how it made you want to retch. You wanted to beg Astarion to erase it himself, with his touch, with his lips, with his everything, but words were too heavy on your tongue, just like moving your limbs.

Astarion was lost in his thoughts as he read the scroll Gale wrote for him, “how to warm up water, quickly. (But make sure it’s not too quick or you are gonna boil your skin, idiot)”. He gave it to him months prior when Astarion wanted to take a warm bath but there was no bath house in kilometers.

“My love..” He kneeled in front of you, taking your hand in his hand and placing a kiss on your knuckles. “Can you undress and get in the water or do you need help?” You wanted to tell him he could have raised his voice, you were alone and no one was going to eavesdrop, but you could tell he didn’t want to startle when you were zoning out or lost in thoughts. “If you need it, just tell me and I’ll call Jaheira or Karlach, so they can help you get in the water.” He over explained himself as he was just so careful to not make you uncomfortable.

“No, you” Your free hand rested on his. “Please stay” 

He didn’t reply at that, his cheeks taking just the softest shade of pink, as he got up. He kissed your forehead again as he helped you up on your feet. 

He waited until you nodded at him, letting him know you were okay with him.

He was very careful to pull up the shirt, trying to not pull too hard in case your exposed wounds would have stuck to the fabric.

It reminded him when he had to dress again after Cazador marked his skin, how unavoidable it was for his back to make contact with his button up, and how painful it was to get undressed. He was glad, though, that a good bit of your skin was covered in bandages. When he brought you back, and Shadowheart had to wrap you up, she didn’t have enough bandages to cover all your open wounds, so she had to cover the deepest ones, the one that were oozing more blood than the others, while she could only heal you a little bit at a time through that night.

Astarion was quick to unwrap the bandages, his face scrunched in a worried look, as you hissed at the feeling of your skin being fred, like it was about to peel off from your muscles, just like Cazador pulled it from your chest. 

Astarion tried his best to ignore the bubbling anger in his chest at the first sight of the bloodied lines, your whole body marked by that bastard, almost as a taunting reminder that in a way, he won. Cazador broke you, he took you in front of him, he used you until you were just hollow, he stole the smile from your lips, and there was no way to hide the reminder. Whenever you’d look at yourself in the mirror, or you’d look at your fingers, you’d see Cazador engraved in your skin, and he hated it. He hated that he was able to haunt him even after his death.

Astarion slowly guided you towards the water, helping you in until you were laying in the tub, and pressing another kiss on your cheek.

He was ready to step back, allowing you to let your body go in the warm water, when you didn’t let go of his hand. “No, please, don’t leave” You pleaded, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, as you felt the haunting hand of fear on your shoulder. 

“I’m gonna stay here with you my love” He pointed towards the bench where you were sitting moments ago, you could have sworn that it was too far in that moment. You wanted, no you needed him close, to cling to him like he was going to disappear at any moment, to feel his skin against yours, to remind you he was real and not just a fragment of your delusional mind trying to cope with the nightmares.

“No, please, here” If you had the strength to pull him stronger, you would have dragged him in the water yourself, but you were holding that hand with all you had already.

It took him a moment to grasp at what you meant, as his confused scowl quickly eased in a sad smile. He lowered, so you didn’t have to strain your neck to look up, as his eyes searched for something in yours. “Are you sure, my love?” He asked in a breath, as he studied your face, your movements, how your chest was raising and lowering rhythmically, to catch even the smallest hint of hesitation, but when you nodded at him unhesitant, he smiled back at you.

He turned towards the shelf nearby, plucking several bottles from there that he placed next to the ones you recognized as yours. 

He looked for your eyes as he took his time untying his shirt, waiting for your nod before quickly peeling off all his clothes and making his way in the warm, soothing water.

For a moment you just both laid there, your hands intertwined as you allowed the water to caress your skin.

“How did you do it?” You asked, sucking in a breath, you needed some reassurance, any kind. “How did you get over it?” He could feel your hand stiffen along your body.

“I guess I didn’t until recently” He admitted, for the first time he avoided your eyes. “After 10 years of confinement, you stop trying to fight it I guess” His voice cracked at the last word, his hand unclasped from yours as he rested his back against the edge of the tub, measuring his words before letting them out. 

“After I was let out again, expected to comply without putting up a fight, it became a matter of survival. It was either that, or starvation, torture and pain” He was mustering all his strength to resist the tears.

“Though the feelings never..” He hesitated for a moment. “They never left, for 200 years. Intimacy felt tainted” You recall him mentioning it, when you were in Moonrise.

“Then you came around, and bedding you didn’t work” He could feel that disgust against himself rise just at the thought of using it against you. Or rather, at his advantage. “You were supporting me, you wanted to know my opinion about anything, you held me when no one would have done it” He tilted his head back, his hair slowly starting to lose its form as the steam relaxed the curls. “I don’t know what it is about the way your touch feels, the idea of you being so close to me, so vulnerable, for the first time in my life, it feels genuine. It feels real. It’s not coated with lies.” He breathed out for a moment, looking for your eyes, making sure he didn’t say too much and scared you away. “You happened and it’s like your touch is healing me” He brushed his index finger on your cheek, taking in your teary eyes, the way you were tilting ever so slightly your head as you listened to him, and the way you were resting your hands together on your leg, fidgeting with them.

“I will always have nightmares, and I hate that you will as well,” He admitted. “But now that I know that I have you by my side..” His finger gently traced the line of your shoulder, pushing them down so you could allow them to relax. “I know I can endure them, cause when I’ll wake up crying, and you’ll be laying next to me, I know I will be at home”. It was like he took his heart straight out of his chest, and laid it bare there for you. He wanted to let you know how much he cared for you, and how much you meant to him. He would be there, step by step.

“‘Starion” Your voice trembled at his sight, you could see it through his eyes, the hurt, how vulnerable he felt by letting you in his heart, and deep down the fear, that same fear that had been waiting in the back of your mind. The fear of being too much to handle. You wanted to say something more, but he stopped you, knowing that talking about this more, could have been too much for you.

“Shh” He whispered gently, extending his hand for you. “I promise you, my love. I will wait for you, I will be there all the way, even if you’ll be too afraid to kiss me for the rest of your life. Until the end of our days, I will still hold you to my chest and live off of that touch only” He smiled as you held his hand, and closed the space between your bodies, resting your head on his chest. “As long as you are by my side, I will do my very best to protect you, to help you reclaim yourself, I promise, my love”

[dannyphantom-zero]

DOCTOR DANNY CHAPTER 10

"Daniel" the voice that called out to him was hollow and distant.

Danny opened his eyes. Almost around him an empty dark void. Danny lifted his up. Water droplets fell from his arm.

Danny tried sitting up only for his feet to be tossed below the water. It was shallow water. Just going up to his waist.

But it was strange. Where was he? Why was he standing in a pond?

"Daniel you must wake"

Danny's head swiveled unable to see the voice or hear where it's coming from.

"I don't know how" he answered back. He wadded out of the pond. The grass underneath his feet felt soft and prickly.

It was so dark that color didnt seem to exist. Everything was a shade of black.

Except the swirls of color in the sky.

"Who there?" Danny asked as he leaned against a tree.

"Daniel, do you hear me?"

"I can hear you!"

"Wake up!"

Danny was at a loss.

"C-can I help you in some way?" Danny asked. He felt a weird tingling sensation in his chest all of the sudden.

"You have to wake now Daniel!"

Danny stood up, ready to shout at the voice when the world flipped upside down, the ground pulling out from under his feet.

Danny was left sitting on the ground after the world titled. He was watching a scene be had seen before.

His family, his friends. Dying. Dan laughing in his face.

"NO!"

Suddenly everything was erased leaving Danny floating in an endless void.

"Where am I? Why can't I leave? I want to go home!"

Danny felt his eyes grow wet and tears started to fall down his face.

"This isn't fair!" Danny shouted, "I've done everything I can, given everything I have, I'm nobody. I'm a loser"

The void answered with silence.

"Don't cry, you'll wear yourself out before you've even woken up"

Danny looked up but still the owner of the voice that seemed so familiar was not there.

Danny waited, it felt like forever he would be stuck there endlessly.

"Remember, everything is as it should be"

Green glowing eyes shined brightly as his eyelids parted. He shot up clutching his chest, breathing hard and trying to figure it if this was reality.

A hand slid on to his and as he calmed down his eyes dimmed back their natural blue. His breathing was still slightly ragged.

That's when he really took in his surroundings.

"Where am I?" Danny asked.

"Wayne Manor" Sam answered, "you were unconscious for a week"

Danny nodded, it felt like a day to him.

"Yeah man. We were so worried"

Danny lit up when he saw Tucker, "hey this is just like old times" he said through a grin.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked with a smirk.

Danny nodded, "sure. Me injured, you two hanging around until I'm better. All that's left is Jazz to start scolding me"

Tucker laughed.

Jason who was standing nearby, didn't feel like laughing at all. Just like old times? How often in his youth had Danny been hurt?

A knot of worry began to form just below his chest. Jason took a step forward.

"Glad your awake"

Danny looked up.

"Yeah, me too" he said.

"Danny"

A sharp pounding rang through his brain.

"Ah" Danny's hand flew to his head.

"Danny?" Jason asked.

Danny gave him a slight smile, "just a headache"

Suddenly in the middle of the room a green portal opened.

Danny grimaced, already on the defensive. Superman and Batman, the only two heroes present were tense.

Once Danny saw a staff poke through the portal into the room he relaxed.

"Clockwork" he said in relief.

Sams mood darkened. She didn't associate clockwork with anything good. He was like a bad omen, a harbinger for the disasters to come.

Tucker seemed quiet and reserved, unusual for him. Maybe he just didn't want to run into a bell a few hundred times like Danny had been forced to.

"Hello Daniel, I'm afraid I come baring grim news"

Danny felt Sam go rigid, "when does he not" she muttered icily.

"Dan is loose. He broke free if his containment and is currently searching for you."

Danny felt his core start to sink, "can you look into the future-"

Clockwork held up a hand, "Daniel, remember the last time you attempted to change the time stream. Even if I could it could rupture the natural flow of time."

Clockwork tapped his staff, "besides that concept, Dan is no longer apart of the time stream. Any future with him apart of it becomes a future I cannot predict. This is why I have come to warn you. Even this is a stretch of what the observants have allowed me"

Danny ground his teeth, "Thank you clockwork"

Clockwork gave him a solemn nod  before stepping back into the portal and leaving Danny to ponder it.

"Who's Dan?! Danny are you in trouble?!" Jason asked frantic for answers.

"Yes Jason, I'm in danger. And so are you. Everybody is as long as Dan is out loose!" Danny exclaimed throwing  up his hands.

Jason grabbed Danny's hands in order to calm him down, "Danny, talk to me".

Danny took a deep breath before starting in.

"Dan was me from the future. A future in which I become evil and destroy the world. But I tore him from the timeline and avoided the key events that change me"

Jason nodded to show he was following along.

"Dan hates me, he thinks I'm going to to turn into him one day but now that he's out of the timeline we are two separate people. I will NEVER become him and I will NEVER turn evil"

"I know you won't" Jason agreed.

Danny smiled "thanks"

Sam cleared her throat, "ahe-hem, you guys can make out later-"

"We're not-"

"-are we going to find Dan or are you going to be bait Danny?" Sam asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Bait! Look at Danny, besides we'd probably have the advantage if we found this Dan guy first" Jason intercepted.

Danny stood up, "I don't think you should get up yet-" Jason interjected but Danny gave him pointed glance that helped Jason reconsider.

"I've been out for a week, that means we are losing time fast. I need to find him so I can beat his ass and throw him into soup jail"

Jason's eyebrows scrunched together, "soup jail?"

"He was trapped in a thermos, not sure how he got out but I will need to modify one so he can't get out ever again"

"What about that portal or that creature, who are the observants?" Bruce pressed.

Danny rubbed his face his hands. "The observants are like, the council of time and that "creature" was Clockwork, the only entity capable of touching the timeline, but he's heavily monitored by the Observants. Also the Observants are eyeballs in robes."

"Ugh, we don't have time for this, we need to find-" they were interrupted by an alert.

Dan was on a live screen holding a random civilian hostage.

"IF DANNY FENTON DOES NOT SHOW HIMSELF TO ME IN TWENTY MINUTES I WILL TAKE THE LIVES OF EVERYONE IN THIS CITY STARTING WITH THIS CHILD"

Danny sprung up, "where is this?! WHERE IS HE?!!!" Danny demanded feeling the panic bubbling up in his throat.

"He's at the East End of Gotham, Little Italy. Not even a block from Luigi's Pizza"

Jason sped across Gotham with Danny on his motorcycle. Twenty minutes was barely enough time, meanwhile bats and he rest of the freak squad (the league) were busy devising a plan.

The bike skirted to a stop and Danny jumped off. There, floating in the air s few feet from the ground, was Dan. He held a little boy, ice on his mouth.

"Dan! Put him down Dan! This is between you and me" Danny shouted.

Dan smirked and dropped the kid. Danny sprung forward, flying a short distance before grabbing the kid in a tuck'n'roll.

He fazed the ice off the kid and told him to run.

Luckily the police had evacuated the surrounding area.

"Why do you hate me so much?! I didn't do this too you! Vlad did!"

"IT ALL STARTED WITH YOU!" Dan shouted firing an ecto blast at Danny, he evaded it.

"I didn't cheat on that test, I didn't become you!" Danny argued.

Dan burst forward and grabbed Danny by the collar flying up.

"YOU WOULD HAVE! YOU CHEATED THE TIMELINE. YOU DINT HAVE TO PAY THE CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS LIKE I DID!"

Danny struggled, in his weakened state his powers were dismal.

"You can still change! This is a new timeline! You dont have to be evil anymore!"

Dan eyes lit up with fury, "I CANT EXCEPT THAT YOU LIVE UNBURDENED BY THE COUNTLESS LIVES That YOU HAVE SLAUGHTERED WHILE I BEAR WITH IT EVERY. SINGLE. DAY"

"You had a choice!" Danny screamed back, "you were wronged! So was I! But it's different, you can start fresh-"

Dan punched Danny in the face hard, sending him flying.

"DANNY!" Jason screamed running over to his crumpled form draped over the fountain. Jason slid on his knees once he reached him, gently and desperately tapping his face.

"Danny! Can you hear! Danny!!"

Danny coughed, "Jason it's alright, I've taken worse than this, I'll be fine" he said standing up, fighting against his own body.

"DAN!" Danny shouted coughing up blood right after earning the ghosts attention.

"YOU CAN BEAT ME, HURT ME, STRIP ME OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE I EVER CARED ABOUT. LEAVE ME HURTING LIKE YOU OR YOU CAN STOP AND REALIZE THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THE VILLAIN ANYMORE!"

Dan floating down and walked over to Danny.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that offer" he did before punching Danny in the face again.

"YOU FUCKING ASSWHOLE, GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Jason shouted lunging at Dan.

Dan didn't bat an eye, his arm shot out and grabbed Jason by the neck.

"I will take everyone you love" Dan squeezed harder, "and I will destroy it all!"

Danny looked through his swollen eyes, "NO!" Danny grabbed Jason and fazed him out of Dan's grip.

"But first, you will feel pain like nothing you've ever faced before"

Dan grabbed Danny and threw him at a nearby building. He walked over to the bloodied doctor.

"How ironic that someone who was meant to cause so much pain became a doctor. You know, your the same weak kid you've always been"

Dan kicked him in the ribs making Danny gasp out in pain. The air left him and he the pain was the only thing he could feel.

Stomp, stomp, stomp.

"sssy" Danny sputtered. Dan dug his nails into to Danny's jaw, making him bleed as he forcefully lifted it, "what was that?"

"S-sorry" Danny said with pleasing eyes.

Dan let go in disgust, "ha" he turned before delivering another devastating blow to Danny's gut.

"P-p-pah" Danny croaked.

"Oh no, no no no no. I can't have you die yet Danny. Just watch, get comfortable" he said slapping Danny face before walking over to Jason.

He fired hitting Jason in the leg. Jason held in his cry of pain, not wanting to give this bastard the satisfaction.

From our of nowhere a beam fired at Dan. Danny forced his body up and moved in the beams path int iem to spare Dan. He fell in a crumpled heap at Dan's feet.

"That want meant for him" Superman said in grief.

"We know" Bruce replied.

Dan let go of Jason, staring at Danny's broken, bloody body that had shoved its way in between Dan and a possibly fatal injury.

"Why?" He asked crouching down and pushing Danny on his back.

Danny was unresponsive.

"Because thats who Danny is, you changed, Danny told me about you. He said he wasn't you. He wanted to save people, you wanted to hurt people"

Dan looked around the destruction, it was begging to remind him of a familiar scene, like his old timeline.

"His core is damaged, boy-"

"Jason" he interrupted.

"Jason, I have two people inside of me and for the longest time I thought I was evil and couldn't change. Dan y deserved this more than I do" he reached into his chest and grimaced and he broken off a chunk of his core. He thrusted it inside Danny chest connecting it to Danny core.

It fused together, slay healing Danny.

Dan collapsed, propped up by an elbow, "if I die here, disappear forever, tell Danny Im sorry and that he was right"

The two were carted off to a meta hospital, Jason tried to follow but was forced to seek his own medical attention.

Somewhere in the ghost zone a mysterious being of time and riddles smiled,

"all is as it should be"

[lead-to-code]

poem not loading? text version available below (click on "keep reading")

Hollow by Kara

The world's array of wonders kept me here But pain reminded me of my heart The echo that's lodged in my chest I sought to fill its hollow song Hand over a stove's fire Prick from a clumsy knife Bird's chirps – Dog's howls Cat's purrs – People's laughs Empty I am and yet Empty I stay and yet I shall seek To fill the void within me

[seawater-aurelia-writing]

Broken { The Break; Chapter 2}

Pairing(s): Fem!MC/Yuu/Reader x TBD

Summary: MC awakens after her fall but the reactions of others make her spiral worse - but not all is as it seems.

WARNINGS

I am not the best at labeling warnings or triggers but I can say that this story is laden with neglect, self-depreciation, self-neglect, anxiety, possible depression and attempts to justify the above. There could be more labels that I can add but i’m unsure how to word them - so please exercise caution.

I liiiiiiiiiiiive! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I restarted this SO many times and yet I could never get it to feel...'right'...So I hope this lives up to yall's expectations! Sorry for the bad summary lol

One last disclaimer though! I have not seen the entirety of Chapter 6 and I have avoided pretty much all content for Chapter 7 as far as i'm aware. So I may not have everyone exactly in character in new things were revealed for them.

When M/C awoke, she half expected to be in the infirmary as she was when she was knocked unconscious during the Magift Tournament. But the other half of her? 

She didn’t expect much. Be it the stillness of the void around her, or the library floor if Professor Trein left her where she fell – there wouldn’t be much difference. It's what usually happened anyway; She could handle her injuries herself if that was the case. However, she supposed there was some form of upside to being in the infirmary. 

If she was left in the void, how else would she know firsthand how she burdened and upset those around her.

‘It’s so late…’ She thought to herself, gazing out of the window across from her bed. She could barely make out the faintest shape of the moon – a crescent. Even the moon was smiling at just how pathetic she had to look at this moment.

“-C. M/C!” 

Why was it so hard for her to hear? Even as she turned her head slowly, moving her eyes to gaze up at the headmaster beside her, it was as if someone had placed her in a tub of mud. She moved so slowly, without much feeling other than a sharp pain as she tried to rest the side of her head down onto the pillow.

“…Hng..”

“Thank goodness, you’ve finally awoken! It’s been two days already! What on earth did you drink to cause you to create such an awful mess of the library?! You know very well that you cannot ...poultices as other students do because of ... Furthermore, I believe I ...use it for research not as ...a playground!” He ranted but his voice faded in and out as he spoke. But why? Why can't I hear him?

Only an idiot would zone out at a time like this.

Crowley sighed, clearly exasperated when she didn’t attempt to speak.

‘He hates that he let you stay here. Who can't do simple chores?He wishes he never helped you.’

“Once you are ...leave, you are to clean up ...the library. Luckily, ...the matter with you ...I can see.” He continued after a moment, his arms folding over his chest as he gazed down at her. Slowly, it became easier to focus but the ringing in her ears never  "Actually...Our nurse is ...but I see no reason ...release you myself."

“…Y-yes…sir.” She rasped, voice dry and hoarse from lack of use.How long had she been unconscious? But again, did it truly matter? But what did that matter? Clearly, the pain in her head wasn’t real and not a sign of something worse. Why should she expect something else?

'He wants you gone.'

'You're taking up space.'

'Stop being selfish.'

'Because you think you're worth more than you are.'

Ace, Deuce and Grim came to visit her that day at lunch just before her release but the visit felt hollow. They laughed and teased her for her clumsiness, even Deuce smiling a bit at the dramatics of Grim, but none seemed to notice the forced smile that M/C put on her face. None noticed how her eyes twitched at the sharp, spike of pain that formed when they grew louder. 

‘They’re only here because they’re forced to be. Stop thinking about yourself.’

'Just smile. Don't make a scene.'

When M/C had been released earlier that day, she was urged straight to attend the final class of that day rather than go straight to Ramshackle. 

‘Please let this go by fast…’ She thought to herself, letting Rook lead the way to their class as the pain in her head continued to grow. M/C closed her eyes for a moment, missing the way Rook glanced back at her and shifted his body to walk closer to her. 'Please...'

Yet it did not. 

MC felt as if she was on autopilot as she sat in class, sluggishly marking notes where needed and nodding along with the lecture but nothing seemed to sink in, no matter how many times she willed herself to focus in. Rook would boisterously comment on things, his voice jolting her to the present long enough for her to gaze at him and then the teacher before her focus waned once more.

‘You’re so needy.’ Why couldn’t she just move past her little incident? Everyone else already had moved past it, so it clearly wasn’t very important. She had no right to wish that others worry about her. They had bigger things to worry about, more important things to focus on.

Right?

‘Why can’t you handle this on your own?” Why couldn’t she? It was only one day just like the others! It wasn’t even hard! Ruggie had gone without meals more than she had! So obviously, she was just exaggerating. Vil had more things to worry about than she did including an actual career! What right did she have to complain about doing a few favors?

‘You’re pathetic.’

‘A waste of space.’

‘What good is someone who screws up a simple thing?’

‘No one cares.’

‘You’re replaceable.’

‘Forgettable.’

As class ended, MC prepared for her cycle to begin once more and so it did. Rather than go to  dinner, Kalim latched onto MC the moment she was out of the classroom. The pain in her head returned full force with his boisterous volume right beside her ear but she still smiled. 

He offered to help the next time she went to the library since he knew ladders were tricky. 

‘They aren’t tricky. He’s pitying you’

“Kalim, leave her alone. She needs to rest.” Jamil finally said after a few minutes, his eyes not leaving her  as he spoke. He almost seemed to study her before adding, “She isn’t looking well.”

‘Pathetic.’

“Huh,? Oh right! I’m sorry! Go, go rest up! We can plan a group dinner later!” Kalim practically beamed before ushering her away from the cafeteria despite Grim’s many protests and her own stumbling feet.

“B-But -” 

 But they were already on Main Street by the time MC attempted to speak. Why was she always so hesitant when it came to these things? She barely uttered a word in the entire conversation and despite Jamil’s eyes on her, it was as if she wasn’t really a part of the conversation. Just a figure meant to listen but not contribute. 

Always there but never meant to fully be there.

MC didn’t register her body moving as she went towards the direction of Ramshackle, her form practically shrinking in on itself as they went. Grimm was rambling on and on as he floated beside her, while she let her body guide her on a path she had now memorized. 

“…Just…pathetic…” She mumbled, one hand coming up to grasp at the other elbow. That’s what she was, wasn’t she? She didn’t stand out other than being magicless but even then people seemed to forget. No one cared that she couldn’t magically make a situation better, but they expected her to do it anyway. Just like no one seemed to care about her wellbeing but they expected her to always be okay. Thoughts of Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, and Vil drifted into her mind - how each of them experienced their own breaks during the Overblots, how they opened up about what hurt them, how everyone listened and tried to help them. She thought about how Crowley actually brought in special healers and therapists just for them for weeks after their incidents and how they still have check-ins with him to ensure they’re on the right track. 

Where was that for her? Her body couldn’t produce magic, she couldn’t  Overblot to make others realize how badly she was hurt mentally, physically, emotionally. She couldn’t voice her worries because who would listen? Even when she tried to warn her friends about the smallest of dangers, they simply brushed her off. Her words didn’t matter; so why would her thoughts matter.

‘Is that it?’ She wondered, a sudden cold feeling filling her form. What if she truly was the issue? Why was she so focused on having her thoughts and feelings acknowledged when she knew that all others wanted was for her to help them? They are all more important than her pathetic emotions, right? They have a life and future here in their world and it’s clear she’s just an anomaly who may never return to where she was once from. Was she - overvaluing herself? Was it all-

“It’s your fault, you know!” Grimm yelled suddenly, directly in front of her.

MC stopped suddenly, a cold chill rushing through her body at the words. Her fingernails slowly began digging into her skin as she looked into Grim’s eyes. “W-what?”

“It’s your fault!! You know, I had to do cleaning duty!” He complained, his little paws resting on his hips as he scowled. “I wanted to pick up some of that discount tuna before Ruggie got all of it but I was roped into cleaning! Not to mention those creepy twins came at me about something you forgot! And you forgot the library today! I'm not cleaning that just because you're lazy and took a fall! You’re my henchman, not the other way around! Don’t be selfish! ”

M/C this. M/C that. Clean the weeds. Fetch my things. Deliver this. Talk to this person. Clean this, clean that. Keeping busy, always busy.

'It's for the best. They have other things to focus on-'

She stopped walking, her head hurting more and more, as if a little thing was smashing cauldrons over and over against her brain. Her heart joined the rhymed pounding so hard, she gripped her chest in a vain attempt to calm it.

"Stop-" She gasped but couldn't say more as she stepped back, her throat clenching.

'They are more important. Don't deny it'

'They will never care about you.'

'You don't belong here.'

“I know as the Great Magician that I am, that I need to carry the both of us since you're useless without magic but you need to watch it with the - huh? MC?!” Grimm continued, his tone shifting to something MC didn’t want to hear – something she couldn’t hear.

She backed away, one step and then two before rushing off towards the entrance gates of the College. Not once looking back.

Her surroundings blurred as she ran, not taking into account where she was truly going - just knowing that she had to get away, far away. From the Grim, from all of the others, from Night Raven College, from everything.She just wanted it all to go away!

'Useless.'

'Magicless.'

‘Selfish’

"Stop! Stop it!" She sobbed, her breath catching in her throat. Her chest began to hurt more than her head caused her to stagger in her stride. M/C felt herself tumble down and crash down a slope, the brush scratching her as she went down before she hit something hard and frigid. 

She sobbed as the thoughts continued to repeat in her head; Every overblot, every chore, every demand, every reprimand, every expectation, and every sign of disappointment. Why was she truly like this? She wasn’t good for anything but menial tasks due to her lack of magic and still she can’t do any of that right. 

“Make it stop, make it stop, makeitstop…”

She didn’t know how long she laid there, nor how long she was sobbing, begging and screaming for the pain to go away, for the thoughts to go away. The pain in her head only grew the more she cried, and as it grew  - so did that pain and tightness in her chest.

‘Useless.’

‘Useless!’

‘USELE-’

Until the darkness took her under again.

But unlike before - the chill of the darkness grew stronger and more intense until it was the only thing she was able to feel. Just as the voices were the only thing she was able to hear. Repeating their words over and over, in a hell that she couldn’t wake up from.

After what seems like ages, a gradual warmth began to seep into  the darkness around her. A spreading, far reaching feeling spreading across her body but oddly focused around her back and under her legs. 

‘What is…’ She wondered as another sensation came to her slowly, a rocking kind of motion accompanied by a lightness. It reminded her of the gentle swaying of the waves of Coral Sea but was swiftly ruined by the sound of harsh thunder reigniting the pain in her head. A flash of brilliant light flashed across her eyelids, causing her to whimper.

“Are…-ake, dear?” A familiar, deep voice crooned, not loud enough to hurt her head any further but enough for her to hear it clearly.

‘This voice…I know it…I..Why is he-’

‘You’re wasting his time.’

“Shhh, your heart…racing again. You…it’s Lillia…Focus on my breathing, little one.” Lillia’s voice soothed, as the rocking motion slowed - was she being carried? M/C registered the warmth tightening around her slightly as her breath quickened unintentionally.  “Shhh, focus…. You can do it. Think of nothing else but my voice and deep breaths.”

It took what felt like ages before M/C was able to focus on the steady rise and fall of her head in time with Lillia’s breathing. The ache in her chest lightened but the pain in her head did not, only worsening as she attempted to open her eyes. Another flash of lightning, red eyes and furrowed brows.

“It’s best if your eyes remain closed. The storm will only worsen the pain of your concussion.” Lillia remarked, just before more thunder rumbled. “ You worried us all, dear. Especially dear Malleus.”

“C-concussion? B-but I…don’t have a-” She mumbled, turning her head to hide from the storm before a thought flashed through her mind. “T-The library! I didn’t clean i-”

“You will not be cleaning anything nor doing any chores for the foreseeable future, little one.” Lillia cut her off quickly, his soft voice containing a firmer tone than she was used to hearing. “You are injured and have been pushing yourself too hard. Far harder than you should have.”

‘He knows you can’t do it. That’s why he said that.’

‘He knows you’re pathetic.’

“No, n-no I’m not. It’s fine. If anything I need to push harder, heh.” She forced out a laugh, attempting to lighten the atmosphere but Lillia merely sighed.  “I-It’s nothing really!”

“You’ve barely been eating, little one. Silver told me as such and I witnessed it myself; We were going to ensure you ate this evening but you didn’t show. In addition, you’ve been having more accidents than usual and have been unfocused. You. Are.Exhausted.”

“No, it’s fine. I just, if I just finish this one thing then it’s fine. I-I can clean the library super fast and it’s all okay!” She pressed, fighting the urge to cry once more. Had her screw ups been that apparent? She didn’t mean to; She was doing her best!

“But it’s never just one thing, is it?” M/C faintly registered the sound of his shoes upon cobblestone, were they back on campus?  “After this, then there’s another favor that’s asked of you, another assignment, another mess to clean. But – have you had time for yourself, little one?”

“…I-I do at night I have-“ The words trailed off as she tried to think of something. She did have time to herself at night but it was never for long, especially when her thoughts would become so loud or she would get those odd dreams of things she swears she’s seen but can’t fully remember. 

“But you live with Grim,yes? Who boasts about how tidy you keep your shared room…so I can only wonder how much alone time you get in there at all.” He hummed,and for a brief moment MC felt the brush of something soft and silken brush her face. Lilia seemed to shift slightly, curling into her  before the gently swaying became an airy sensation, like she was adrift but his warmth continued to steady her.

“…”

“And let us not forget that Malleus often takes his nightly walks in your area; Often alongside you, yes?  He’s told us that he’s seen lights on in Ramshackle as late as the early morning hours even after he’s escorted you home.”

“Ramshackle…isn’t my home.” She mumbled, her eyes growing hot and tears welled within. “This isn’t my home, I don’t belong and that’s why this doesn’t matter. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me; you have better things-”

“Do you know what’s the scariest thing in the world?”

“Huh?”

Lilia’s voice was low as he continued to speak, “Asking for help. You have to open yourself up and admit to yourself and someone else that you need help. That you need someone there to help you stand until you get your footing once again. There’s not many people who can open themselves up to doing that. Magically inclined or not.”

MC thinks of everyone who asks her for help. “No one seems to have that issue here…”

“They do love to ask you for things but not for those matters that are oh-so  troubling to them. Most would rather keep to themselves and allow their thoughts to consume them before they incite their pleas. Does that sound familiar?”

MC bit her lip, her eyes opening partially as her tears finally began to fall. She vaguely noticed the dim setting around them, but nothing was truly familiar as her tears blurred her sight. “All of you already have so much to worry about and futures to plan and…it’s just…better if I don’t ask.”

“And what, praytell, about your future, little one?” Lilia pressed as MC shakily used her hands to wipe her tears away.

“I…don’t think I have one. I don’t have magic so I can’t really….. I’m a magic-less student in a magically-based academy – how am I even going to use what I’m being taught? I’m just pathetic and worthless-.”

“Enough. I refuse to listen to you slander yourself in such a way, Child of Man.”

MC tensed as Malleus’s voice rang out firm from somewhere in front of Lilia and herself. She slowly parted her fingers, blinking so as to get a clear peek between them but quickly came to wish she hadn’t. She wished she could go back to that unknown area where Lilia had taken her from and just melt there where she wouldn’t have to deal with what was in front of her and the implications it all held.

Standing before her, in the main room of Ramshackle Dorm, were the Dorm Leaders , Grim and Sam with various expressions across their faces. -----------------------------taglist-------------------------------

@mamushroomoracorn | @sailor-pom | @secondb0rn | @honey-deerling-oc | @valerieelizablack | @hanafubukki |@houseoftitans | @butterscotch-babie | @thai | @alextheknight707 | @starshiningsirius | @vanrougette | @valerieelizablack | @cherrysamasama | @over-active-daydreamer | @tanspostsblog | @pineapple-coco | @silvsilvysilver | @diu0sanr | @amoresdarlene | @alankorex | @thehomosexualsupportingcast | @formerstands | @yourunsearc | @twst-rui | @StarryOne23

[myfavouritelunatic]

More Painful Sacrifices - Chapter Two

Surprise! I was simply too inspired by episode six, I had to continue this! And I've already planned a third chapter as well haha.

Enjoy! ❤️

The clink of the shackle around Galadriel’s wrist rang in her pointed ears. A reminder of her imprisonment, that despite her ‘dinner’ with the orc leader, her freedom was not currently her own. Though this food was more appealing than the bowl of slop at least.

“We will speak again.” Adar uttered as he walked away, leaving Galadriel chained to her seat and staring almost vacantly at the table before her. She felt her mind spiralling, sent down into an endless abyss from which there was no escape. How could a creature such as Adar share a common experience with her? How could he know what it is that he made her feel? Another reason to add to the many of why Galadriel must see to Sauron’s end. And now, with Morgoth’s crown, the existence of the rings… that end might just be possible.

Though she felt… hollow. Breathless. Lifeless. The acknowledgment of the absence of Sauron in her every day… it had put a name to that heartache. And while Galadriel loathed that her and Adar had an understanding, it was strangely reassuring to know that the emptiness she felt was real.

It meant that what they had—

Was real.

“Get out of my mind!” Galadriel hissed at the disembodied voice in her head.

Then you do not wish me to stay? To fill the void my absence created?

“I wish for you to torment me no longer!”

I only want to heal you, Galadriel.

“Stop! Stop it! I am never going to come to you, to be at your side! Cease your futile efforts, Deceiver!”

Let me help.

“You have helped me enough. I am in pain with you, I am in pain without you, my world is forever changed, even more so than after you took my brother from me! I cannot go back to the life I once had because of you! But I would rather you be gone from me than hear your voice grind within my head!”

They still doubt you, Galadriel. Don’t they? They see no other path for you than the one I have laid at your feet. Why not take my hand and walk its way?

“You know very well why! Or are you not as clever as is told?”

Are you? All other roads are blocked to you. I know you do not wish to be alone. I felt it when we—

“No. Do not.” He flashed an image in her mind, the two of them on that log. The moment that haunted her still. Where he had her by the throat with an invisible grip.

Is it not this… feeling between us… is it not that which makes you barren?

“No.”

Remember how it felt, Galadriel. Remember all we did together. Remember how you felt when you looked in my eyes and saw me. Saw your kindred spirit. Saw at last… the one who would share your burden. Who understood your darkness. Remember how it felt. Remember what it awoke.

“Awoke?”

That part of you that had laid dormant so long. Your fëa began to sing, it began to call to me.

“What?”

It knew, the deepest part of you knew you had found what you were meant to find. And in that song a fire did spark, and in me it did rage, Galadriel. Can you feel the embers tickling your skin? Igniting your flesh like dry brush begging to be incinerated?

“Please… Halbrand… I cannot—"

“You can.” His voice whispered in her ear, coming from behind her, like a spectre summoned with the utterance of his name.

Even though it wasn’t his name. Not really.

And they weren’t Halbrand’s hands now either, but Galadriel felt them upon her shoulders, running slowly down her arms, stopping only when one hand came to rest atop her own, and the other hand grasped at her iron cuff.

He was here. Again. Visible only to her eye, but still feeling as if flesh before her.

“There would be no chance of chains with me, Galadriel.” “I beg to differ.” She replied staunchly. Sauron laughed lowly, a sound just for her. “Though… if you insisted…” He breathed on her neck, and the elf could feel, just as he said, her skin being incinerated. She gasped. “Stop resisting me. You only delay the inevitable.”

“Remove yourself from me. I beg you.” “Or what? All I am doing is giving you what you desire. I am the only one that can give that to you.” Sauron stated, before moving himself around to kneel at her side, in an almost gesture of submission. She kept staring ahead, desperately committing to memory every morsel of food upon the table. Doing anything to not see him. Anything to not spend a moment thinking about what desires his irresistible power could fulfill. “I am here for you, Galadriel. Not for myself.” “Deceit. Everything you do is to serve yourself.” “Look at me, Galadriel. Please.” She held fast and kept eyeing a particularly thick bone that had only a sliver of white meat remaining at its tip.

“Galadriel…” His voice fell to a whisper, which matched the ghosting touch of his hand that now moved across her thigh. She tensed. She heard gravel move. He had shifted closer to her, his hand now stretched across her lap, moving slowly across her other thigh, more firmly now. The she-elf still resisted. But then she felt something heavier come to rest upon her, and knowing only what it could be, she feared it. She feared more than ever to glance down at him.

For it would be her undoing.

“Galadriel…”

Halbrand’s voice. Why did it have to be Halbrand’s voice? His song calling back to her, telling her he was ready, that he wanted her equally. That the feeling between them was shared. He was so warm in her lap, it was as if she could feel the fire he spoke of, the flames within him that she had ignited.

She lifted up her free hand with the sudden intention to push Sauron off of her, but was taken aback by something she did not expect. The absence of her ring. Of Nenya. This was the hand upon which it had rested, this ring that had guided her. And even though it was gone now, there was a truth she could not deny.

It had lead her here.

To Adar.

And to Sauron. Just as she knew it would.

It was exactly as he said. Inevitable.

In that moment she finally let her eyes fall upon the beast in her lap. But a beast he was not. All he was, was Halbrand.

Galadriel began to cry.

She watched one of her tears land on his cheek, and he did nothing to brush it away. He only gazed up at her, smiling with that warmth that radiated within him. She could feel his thumb grazing her leg. “H-halbrand…” “Shhh… it’s alright. I’m here. At last.”

The hand she raised in hatred, was now brought down upon him in love, and even though he wasn’t truly here, she could feel him. She could feel all of him. His hair was so soft, and he sighed as she ran her hand through it. Halbrand nuzzled into her, and all the tension Galadriel had been carrying was suddenly released. She let go. She gave in.

She stopped resisting.

“What are we to do?” She asked him, her voice still trembling from the plethora of emotions spilling from her heart. “We will be together soon. Don’t worry.” Halbrand spoke softly into her belly. “But how?” “You need not know how, Galadriel. As long as you know when. That is all that matters.” He suddenly reached for her hand, pulling it down to his lips. His kiss scorched her and lingered like a scar. But it felt so good. She wanted more.

“I told you… what you felt… I can give it to you. If you’ll let me?”

She felt her desire begin to well up inside her, to the point of it expelling from her bright blue eyes, falling down into his heated pools of hazel. Galadriel watched as he kissed her palm this time, not breaking their shared gaze, and his tongue joined his lips to meet her flesh. The she-elf gasped, and Sauron smiled, before he vanished like he was never there.

Footsteps drew near.

The now familiar stalk of the father of the orcs.

Adar had returned.

But he would not find all of Galadriel waiting for him.

For Sauron had taken her heart.

[heliads]

Hello, glad I can submit this request then, I barely find any Luke Castellan fics he needs more love 😭

Anyways, I just wanted to request something small like headcannons on what it would be like at the aftermath of the Battle of Manhattan if Luke didn't die, what would he be like and how the reader would help him overcome his trauma or problems ? Just pure fluff is what I'm trying to say ;_;

Sorry if that doesn't make any sense... Please let me know if you don't understand me XD

But thank you so much if you write this <3

i see that you have asked for headcanons but i am so delighted by this request that you get a full fic instead (ily)

masterlist

Luke Castellan is not sure what to do with the fact that he did not die. It would have made for a better ending, he thinks. It was the logical conclusion. He tried to make a better world, and when that failed, he could have been terminated along with that last dream. It is what most people would have decided was best.

Yet Luke opens his eyes– his eyes, not someone else’s, not that awful feeling of having his body belong to some being that was not even human, let alone not him– and he is alive. Luke is not sure yet whether this is good or bad. He’s not sure that anything in this world could remotely fit into those categories anymore.

He stares up at a blank ceiling above, which confuses him. Last time he checked, Luke was dying on the ruined floor of the gods’ throne room. There had still been a roof over his head, but Luke swore that he could see a sky of the deepest blue. Luke had felt himself fall into that wondrous lapis void, and then he had felt nothing at all.

That was supposed to be dying. It was more peaceful than most people would say he deserved, given all the hell Luke wreaked on the world by allying with Kronos. Luke’s supposed ending had certainly not been pretty:  a dagger in his hand, stabbed into the one place the immortal waters of the River Styx hadn’t protected him. Achilles’ curse had lifted, and Luke was free of the Titan that had been consuming his body whole.

Yet Luke is staring up at a room that is neither burned nor broken. At first, he wonders if this is what death is like, but he’s heard enough stories of the Underworld to know that it would never be this simplistic. No, this isn’t Death; Luke sits up slowly and manages to fight nausea long enough to realize that he’s back in Camp Half-Blood. Back home, his mind tells him, and Luke has to remind himself that’s not true anymore. He has no home. He has no people, he left them all a very long time ago.

A voice to his side makes Luke whip around.

“I’d sit down if I were you.”

Luke trains his eyes until they slowly, begrudgingly focus on an orange-shirted figure seated next to him. At last, he realizes he recognizes the guy. Will Solace, one of Apollo’s kids. He must have been in charge of bringing Luke back from the dead. 

Luke is baffled by the fact that Will is perched here and not Michael Yew, current head of the Apollo cabin, until it occurs to him that Michael is likely dead. That explains the hollows under Will’s eyes, at least, and the undercurrent of hate that Will only barely keeps at bay. Such strong emotions for a boy who’s usually so cheerful. Luke supposes he only has himself to blame for that.

Will may despise Luke all he wishes, but he’s still a doctor at heart. The blond gestures for Luke to lean back down. “If you rip out your stitches and make my work worthless, I’ll kill you myself.” Will says.

Luke arches a brow. “How do I know you won’t do that anyway?”

“I’m still debating,” Will replies pleasantly.

Someone laughs next to him. “Try to stay civil, Solace. Our time for killing is over.”

A camper takes a seat on Luke’s other side. After a few moments of recollection, his addled head realizes that he knows them. That’s Y/N L/N, they’ve been in the Hermes cabin for the longest time, not one of Luke’s half siblings on the godly side but yet another demigod gone unclaimed for years. They used to complain about that to him. He doubts they would repeat the same sentiments now.

Will groans. “Let me at least try to be intimidating, L/N. I only get to do it so often.”

Y/N cracks a grin, then turns to Luke. “I imagine you must have a lot of questions.”

Luke narrows his eyes at them. “Why aren’t I dead?”

Y/N does a superb job of ignoring Will’s clear sentiment that he’d like an answer to that as well, keeping their gaze firmly trained on Luke. “You tried to stop Kronos in the end. Chiron decided that, seeing as you did all that in an effort to protect unclaimed kids and demigods who were ignored by their godly parents, you deserved a second chance.”

“Does anyone other than Chiron actually believe that?” Luke asks pointedly.

Y/N shrugs. “Depends on what you do when you get out of here.”

Will jumps up. “That’s my cue to check on the rest of my suffering patients. You know, the ones that didn’t try to betray us.”

Y/N watches him go. “Ignore him. He’s–”

Luke cuts her off. “Mad that I tried to kill everyone here? I can’t blame him.”

“So you regret what you did?” Y/N questions slowly.

“I don’t regret trying to do something,” Luke says, “only that the gods weren’t as hurt as the demigods. I didn’t want to hurt us, just them. Olympus could use a good scare.”

Thunder rumbles overhead, loud and overbearing. Luke imagines it’s a warning to him:  he’s treading on thin ice by staying alive, he’d better not press his luck by insulting the gods anymore.

Y/N sighs, evidently thinking the same thing. “You wouldn’t be the only one to want the world to change.”

Luke glances over at them. Obviously, he hasn’t seen Y/N since he switched sides, but he had forgotten that they used to be friends. Good friends, too. It’s nice to have at least that back to normal.

“You haven’t been claimed in the last while, have you?” He asks, changing the subject away from more dangerous waters.

Y/N smiles. “Actually, I have. Percy made the gods swear to start claiming more of their kids. I found out about my parentage a few days ago.”

Luke nods solemnly, but doesn’t ask for further details. He made a point of prioritizing the demigod over their godly parent when he was recruiting for Kronos during the war, and he supposes that habit has stuck. It makes him wonder how many more traits of the enemy he won’t ever be able to shake.

“So when do I get out of here?”

Y/N folds their arms across their chest. “Depends on what you mean by getting out of here. You’ll get a clean bill of health within the next day or two, most likely. You won’t be leaving the camp for months, though, if ever.”

The implications of that don’t have to be spoken aloud. Luke messed up, obviously, and so he’ll be on house arrest until the end of time. If he can prove that he’s worth the effort of saving, maybe they’ll let him live his life, but until then he’ll be monitored around the clock.

It’s more than he expected, at any rate. Part of Luke thought that he’d be handed over to some sort of trial once he healed up, made to face his crimes and be overly punished accordingly. That way, the gods could point to him in the decades and centuries to come as proof of why half-bloods should never reach for more than they deserve.

But no, he’ll be living. That’s certainly something. Luke leans back slowly against his cot and ponders this. “Do I get a personal guard or something?”

Y/N lifts a shoulder. “Kind of. You get me. I’m supposed to follow you around and make sure you don’t try to escape.”

Luke snorts. “How’d you get stuck with that job?”

“I asked for it,” Y/N says coolly.

Luke is taken aback. “Why’d you do that?” He can’t imagine anyone in this camp actively trying to bond with him, let alone someone he knew as well as Y/N. Wouldn’t they hate him for betraying them?

They might be just as surprised about it as he is. “I’m not entirely sure. Guess I thought I was the only one who wouldn’t actively try to kill you in your sleep.”

They’re brutal about it, but it’s kind of nice. Honesty is the only sort of medicine that Luke feels like he can stomach right now. Mollycoddling and sugarcoating just serve to waste time.

He half expects Y/N to back out of it, but no, when Luke is declared medically sound and all but forced out of the hospital wing by swordpoint, they’re waiting for him by the door. Luke staggers out into the bright sunlight and looks around like he’s in a dream. The camp has changed since he last saw it. Cabins have sprung up like wildflowers and more are being constructed by the moment.

Y/N notices him staring and gestures towards the new buildings. “See, that’s your doing, even if no one wants to admit it. A ton of new kids have been claimed. Hermes cabin has never been so empty.”

Bitterness surges through Luke’s throat before he can stop it. “I thought that was Percy’s idea.”

Y/N shakes their head. “Percy only got the idea from you. You can make yourself a villain if you want, but you weren’t entirely heartless. You got my godly parent to claim me, and that’s worth a lot.”

Luke smiles to himself as they go. Y/N leads him to the door of their cabin. It’s still cavernously empty compared to the close quarters Luke remembers in Hermes, and he only notices one bunk with belongings on it.

“You’re the only one here?” He asks.

Y/N nods. “So far, at least. I’ve got you now, though. Just as a warning, I will be claiming cabin counselor privileges and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Luke grins before he realizes it. The expression makes his scar ache, but he finds he doesn’t mind it quite so much as before. “I won’t fight you on that.”

He pulls himself onto the top bunk of one of the many empty rows and surveys his new domain. “Do you think it was worth it? Figuring out who your godly parent was just for them to leave you like this?”

After all, what a life. An empty cabin already collecting dust. It’s cold in here without bodies inside to warm it up. The walls are barren of personal touches. Y/N knows their heritage, yes, and is able to move out of a cabin that was never theirs, but this doesn’t seem like much of a blessing.

Y/N lingers by the foot of Luke’s bunk, and he gestures for them to climb up and join him. They do so in a heartbeat, and then they’re sitting opposite each other, gazes locked and breathing steady.

“It can be lonely,” they admit, “but it’s not so bad. You have hope that it won’t always be this way. Maybe someone will come. Maybe someone already has.”

Luke swallows harshly. “I missed you.”

He blurts it out, hardly aware of what he’s saying. He missed a hell of a lot. Y/N. Laughing at midnight, their whispered words covered up by the sounds of dozens of campers sleeping shoulder to shoulder. Training during the day, the clash of celestial bronze. Orange shirts burning like beacons against their backs. Being able to wear his beaded necklace without feeling like a traitor, even if that’s what he is and always will be.

Y/N leans forward. “I missed you too. I kept hearing about you, which is more than you got of me, but it didn’t feel right. I don’t know where the boy I knew is, if he even exists anymore, but I’d like to try and find him again.”

“I’d like to find him again too,” Luke whispers.

It is the dream of a broken boy bleeding out in the palace of the gods. At this moment, Luke isn’t entirely sure that he didn’t die there in the Olympian throne room. If someone told him that this is what dying is like, conjuring up a vision of what he wishes he could have most of all, Luke would have believed them.

In the end, Luke has no idea if this is real or not. All he can do is keep going, keep waking up each morning to see if he is still in the hazy aftermath of a second chance or finally locked down below in the Underworld. Luke always wanted to try for the Isles of the Blest anyway. Maybe this is just his second life, his second attempt at getting there.

He reaches out on impulse and takes Y/N’s hand. He can feel the blood pumping through their veins, the same certainty as being able to press his fingers against a locked door and know exactly how to break in. This is Luke’s next great trick, but he thinks he’d like to do it right.

“Alright, then,” Luke says at last, “Let’s try again.”

pjo taglist: @w1shes43

[atinyslittleworld]

Light: The Descent

demon king!seonghwa x angel!reader

Summary: The mighty King of the Underworld, Seonghwa, gets intrigued by a little angel, whose light is intoxicating

Genre: angst, au, romance

Warnings: signs of depression, brainwashing by a demon

<previous part

Life in the underworld had become a torment for Y/N. Stripped of her celestial light, she struggled to adjust to her new existence as a fallen angel. The once radiant beacon of hope and purity now found herself enveloped in an overwhelming darkness. The weight of her wings, now a muted grey, mirrored the heaviness in her heart. The warmth that once filled her soul had been replaced by a cold, consuming void.

Seonghwa watched helplessly as Y/N sank deeper into despair. Each day, her sadness grew more palpable, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't reach her. He offered her comfort, distractions, and even the treasures of his dark kingdom, but nothing seemed to lift her spirits. The love that had once sparked joy in their hearts now seemed like a distant memory.

One night, as Seonghwa sat on his throne, his thoughts consumed by worry for Y/N, she entered the room. Her movements were slow, her eyes void of the light that once defined her. She approached him, her steps hesitant but purposeful.

"Y/N," Seonghwa said softly, rising to meet her. "How are you feeling?"

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes filled with a desperate longing. "I don't know who I am anymore, Seonghwa. I feel so lost.”

Seonghwa reached out, gently cupping her face. "You are still the same Y/N I fell in love with. Your light may have dimmed, but your spirit remains."

Y/N shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I can't feel it, Seonghwa. I can't feel anything but this emptiness."

In a moment of desperation, Y/N closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. The kiss was intense, filled with a raw need that startled Seonghwa. He could feel the despair in her touch, the way she clung to him as if he were her only anchor.

Seonghwa pulled back, his eyes searching hers. "Y/N, what's wrong? This isn't like you."

Y/N's eyes were glazed over, her thoughts clouded by a darkness that wasn't her own. "I need to feel something, anything," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Please, Seonghwa."

A chilling realization struck Seonghwa. He sensed a sinister presence in the room, an energy that wasn't his own. One of his demons was manipulating Y/N's thoughts, feeding on her vulnerability. His anger flared, his protective instincts kicking in.

"Stop this," Seonghwa commanded, his voice echoing through the dark halls. "Show yourself!"

A shadowy figure emerged from the darkness, a smirk playing on its lips. The demon bowed mockingly. "Oh, mighty King, I was merely having a bit of fun."

Seonghwa's eyes blazed with fury. "You dare to toy with her mind? She is under my protection!"

The demon's smirk widened. "But look at her, Seonghwa. She's so fragile, so easy to manipulate. I thought I was doing you a favor."

Seonghwa's grip tightened around Y/N, his rage barely contained. "Leave now, before I tear you apart."

The demon laughed, its form dissolving into the shadows. "As you wish, my King. But remember, even in the underworld, darkness can be quite persuasive."

As the demon vanished, Seonghwa turned his attention back to Y/N. She looked at him with confusion and fear, her earlier desperation replaced by a hollow emptiness.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Seonghwa whispered, holding her close. "I won't let anything harm you. We'll find a way through this, together."

Y/N clung to him, her body trembling. "I'm so scared, Seonghwa. I don't know how to fight this darkness."

Seonghwa stroked her hair, his heart breaking for her. "You don't have to fight it alone. I'm here with you, every step of the way. We'll find your light again, I promise."

Days turned into weeks, and Seonghwa dedicated himself to helping Y/N reclaim her light. He sought out ancient texts, consulted with wise spirits, and even ventured into the deepest parts of the underworld in search of answers. But the path to restoring her light was elusive, and Y/N's depression grew deeper.

One night, as Y/N sat in their chamber, staring blankly at the flickering flames, Seonghwa approached her with a gentle touch. "Y/N, can you hear me?"

She turned to him, her eyes reflecting the torment within. "I hear you, Seonghwa. But I can't find my way back."

Seonghwa knelt beside her, taking her hands in his. "I know it's hard. I know you feel lost. But I won't give up on you. We will find a way, no matter how long it takes."

Y/N's eyes filled with tears. "Why do you love me so much? I'm not the same anymore."

Seonghwa's gaze was unwavering. "Because I see the real you, the Y/N who brought warmth and light to my world. You are still that person, and I love you with all my heart."

Y/N leaned into his embrace, finding solace in his unwavering love. "Thank you, Seonghwa. I don't know what I'd do without you."

As they held each other in the darkness, a spark of hope flickered within Y/N. Though the journey ahead was uncertain and filled with challenges, she knew that with Seonghwa by her side, they could face anything. Their love, forged in the balance of light and dark, was a beacon that would guide them through even the darkest of times.

[pastel-charm-14]

unhinged 11pm poetry by me ✨

i hear the silence

you, my love

i lost you, all of a sudden

the sense of emptiness

overwhelms me

i feel your absence with the most pain

in the everyday, in the mundane

your presence took up space in my life

every silence that i feel

comes with a memory

you favorite spot on the couch

the spare bedroom

a martini glass

they remind me of you

i once overlooked them

they are now symbols of you

and what you did every day

and they show me moments that we no longer share

the silence is heavy

and hollow

i can still hear your voice and your laugh

the unsettling quiet

only amplifies the void

every small creak

feels untouchable

the world is dimmer, and less vibrant

and i am reminded of the gap

i feel incomplete

even in my happiest moments

the beauty of that beach now provides me with desolation

i don't want to dwell upon you

but i can't help it

so i cling to the memories

to your essence

and the reality of your absence washes over me

and i wish for an impossible reunion

[roalinda]

Prompt: Sirius & Harry, stray cat

ok, so this was supposed to be for my bday but it ended up a Halloween treat 🍬🍭🍫

I got distracted and forgot to insert the cat in it that much 😭 Also Sirius is alive cause I said so 😤

***

"Did you know that your parents owned a cat?" 

Harry didn't look up from his bowl of steaming soup but a listless shrug was his silent response. His hold tightened on the expensive silver spoon, yet another reminder that despite a clear name, his godfather and him were still living in 12 Grimmauld Place. He didn't really understand why they were not moving out, but then again these days his mind was pleasantly numb. After all said and done and Voldemort gone, the radio silence in his brain was a blessing.

He was so tired. The countless fights and painful losses had caused an emotional collapse in him. He had not joined the victory celebrations. He had sneaked out of the parties he was invited to. He had locked himself in his room, seeking comfort that he hadn't found since Halloween 1981. Still, there was nothing but a vast void, a place that should have been occupied by Lily and James Potter who were buried under the cold ground despite everything.

What a useless triumph, just a tragic success. 

It was Halloween night again. 

"They had one. She was a stray. You hated her because she kept stealing my attention." 

Harry could imagine. He could see a picture perfect of a small happy family, a cat purring on his godfather's lap while he was pouting in his mom's arms, seeking attention and his dad's boisterous laughter. He smiled softly at that.

A warm hand cupped his cold face and caressed away a single tear drop he hadn't realised had fallen on his pale cheek. He was falling apart without even realising.

"Hush." 

"It's Halloween," replied Harry, as if it was self-explanatory and it was.

"And that means trick or treat," Sirius barked a laugh despite his wet eyes.  

Harry eyed him warily. "Is my treat a cat?" He tried to offer a wobbly smile.

"Maybe," teased Sirius and pushed a magical photo towards him gingerly.

Harry frowned at the photo, a punch of a bizarre melancholy knocking the air out of his lungs. It was a small cottage in a small garden filled with sunflowers. The scenery was familiar and after a second Harry realised he was looking at the Potter Cottage in Godric's Hollow. 

Sirius softly tapped on the photo with his wand. The setting changed. Now Harry was looking at the inside of the cottage. There was a small kitchen and a cosy living room, filled with crimson cushions. There was a mantelpiece with pictures on top, of his parents' first dance on their wedding day, of his father and godfather laughing together, of his mom embracing him while his dad and Sirius were cooing at him.

It was a beautiful mirage of what could have been. 

"Your parents' cottage looked like this, Harry," said Sirius tentatively. "I have been absent from your life when I should have been present and for that I am sorry." 

Harry grunted in disagreement and Sirius hummed. "I have promised a home to you, remember? I am a man of my word," he said, his voice hushed and concentrated.

"We are going to move there soon. It's your home. It's where James and Lily are going to receive you for their happy memories linger there." 

Harry blinked and blinked and blinked. Home…he was going home to his parents. Not under piles of soil but to a warm loving household. So, he did the only thing he longed to do all this time. He wailed, loud and shameless before throwing himself into Sirius' arms. 

Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's messy hair soothingly but made no effort to stop his sobs. "Let it all out," he whispered and Harry did, as the old wound bled and bled until there was nothing left to bleed. 

"Home is with you, Sirius," he murmured into his godfather's chest. "home is with you and the happiness your presence brings me." 

"Home is the peace you blessed our souls with. Thank you for taking care of our son in our place. Be happy and live a long life, until we meet again." 

[anime-dreams]

Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable. 

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end? 

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that. 

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave. 

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

[unhingedpolycule]

Demon summoner SoapGhostKönig AU

DemonSummoner!Soap who accidentally summons Wraith!Ghost and Lovecraftian!König instead of the two lowly imps he intended? Both are incredibly powerful entities. They immediately plan to devour him and move on with their newfound freedom, but Johnny is like: „Oops, sorry guys, didn’t mean for this to happen. Please wait a second, I will unbind you in a second…“ and starts flicks through his spellbook. Stressed but not particularly scared. „Was just trying to find help with unbinding this one demon from the magic mirror I found it in, poor soul was trapped for literal ages.“ They look at each other and Ghost asks him in his echoing, hollow voice: „You are trying to do what? Why?!“

And Soap, not a care in the world, still not looking at them just explains: “Oh I studied this field out of interest and usually just summon for research, but I bought this mirror and the poor thing keeps screaming at night, they are clearly not happy possessing an inanimate object, but honestly who would be? Broke my leg a few years ago and not being able to move the way I wanted totally sucked. Oh this reminds me, do you wanna sit down while I find the right page, I have some raw meat, originally for the mirror guy but that's not gonna work out today, so you might as well have it before it spoils, so…“ he keeps rambling on and on, just happy to have someone to talk to.

And König leans towards Ghost and is like: “I don’t wanna eat this one anymore…” and Ghost can just nod, giant, hollow mouth agape, hanging open like the gates of hell.

So out of a mix of pity and being generally intrigued, they decide to walk Soap through the modified steps of binding them to himself so they can stay by his side for a bit. They take out the serve and control part, as well as the one that forbids them to breaking that bond by themselves. They both just decide to leave in the lines of ancient latin which prevents them from harming Soap. They dont wanna do this anyways. Johnny acknowledges all of this and is like: „I get it, consent matters, guys.“ like calling two eldritch horrors from the inner circles of hell „guys“ would be even remotely accurate.

They help him unbind the mirror as well, which turns out to be an imp called Roach, who stays with them out of pure curiosity. Soap summons stronger and more wise entities as time goes on, always with his resident Wraith and his lovecraftian Tentaclemonster close behind him, ready to protect. He takes them sightseeing, breaks into crypts and churches, letting them go search for artifacts to unbind and dispose of safely.

In general, they have a good time together and Soap is the first summoner to act respectful and appreciative around them, treating them not as incredibly strong animals but knowledgeable and interesting equals. One night, when Soap is asleep they are lurking on his balcony, looking at the stars. König always making an excited sound when another airplane comes into view, stating what kinds of thoughts and feelings he can detect from the humans on board. At some point, König leans into Ghost's form and just snuggles up to him.

Ghost indulges him, playing with one of his tentacles, deep in thought.

“I think I am really starting to like our humans. I don't want to go back again.” He whispers into the void that is Ghost and Ghost just nods. “Let's stay then.” He echoes back and pulls König closer. “Gotta take care of him though… pretty boy is too nosy for his own good.” This draws a wet laugh from König, who leans up to kiss Ghost's skull mask gingerly before they both continue to watch the night sky in absolute peace.

Inside, under the open window, Johnny just smiles into his pillow. He had hoped that he would grow on them eventually...

----

This was inspired by all the wraith!Ghost and Eldrich!König I keep saying. There will be more.

~Corr

[alluralater]

i am really really really missing them a lot like i could die i think. i want to feel their lips on mine and their bubbly laughter against the hollow of my throat because they kiss me in the softest places. they pay so much attention to me that way and i’m never sure why it feels so different. they let their fingers dance over my wrists and hands and abdomen with such tenderness. but there is pressure, enough to know and not wonder if it was imagined. their kiss tastes like the earth. like lavender and jasmine and after notes of elysian beer, on some particular nights. on others, it is full bodied wine which coats their lips and sets the air to taste of grapevines. when they kiss me, it is soft yet firm. deliberate and unobstructed, the dipping and dragging of fingertips through soil beds. there is no exploration in a kiss such as this, not when we are desperate cracks of light in the thundering night setting blaze to trees. we are connected here in passionate embrace, as if forever is something we need not mention by name nor by letter when together. we are and endure all the things of this which exist without proper noun. forever. the english language has made this word too quiet. time suspended in their arms is lasting eternity, days swept away in seconds. it is of ethical code and moral law that i find justified reason enough to deny us both the relief of connection now. i have appeased whatever it is that is appalled by them. what was once bearable separation has become unyielding bouts of pain. pangaea is what holds my mind now. the earth’s skin quietly shifting overtop her bones ever so slowly these last billions of years. perhaps forever is low murmur in some ways, even when violently beautiful the same. there were nights like forever when they laid next to me. afternoons spent in elevators. many days our plans would find us at random, with us following after instead of ahead. i miss that. i miss them in my kitchen making me strawberry milk and i miss making their favorite meals. i miss making them laugh. i miss the way they say my name and how they kiss me and touch me in a way that no one else has ever even come close to in my entire life. i crave the warmth of their body near me not just at night but in the day as well. you can become so used to a person being around- this is what they call the void, i think. the absence, the missing, the hole- in you, around somewhere but never surely where you can seal it up or fill it within reason of satiety. i am filling the space with everything that i can reach. i want it to be enough.