#(but how much did he really partake in his upbringing right??)

[eveomo]

virgin green - levi x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ synopsis : after dating for 3 years, levi finally decides to indulge in your... habit

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ warnings : recreational drug use, brief nsfw mention, swearing

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ contains : modern!au , levi x reader , gn!reader , no use of y/n

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ wc : 1.0k

it was early june, and the earth was beginning to embrace the warmth of spring, much like levi was currently embracing yours. 

you were both laid on the couch, the soft whirring of a fan relaxing you both after a long day of running errands, the incoming summer heat exhausting you both. his head was resting on your chest as he laid on top of your body, softly sighing as your fingers explored his undercut, tracing shapes into his scalp. 

the feeling of his head moving attracts your attention and you open your eyes and gaze down at him, meeting his eyes. he doesn’t say anything, but a look flashes in his eyes.

“penny for your thoughts?” you hum, tucking some fallen strands of his hair behind his ear.

“well?” levi replies, bringing his hand from your side to cup it just slightly above his head. 

you blink once, twice, before you realize what he means

“i don’t- why the fuck would i have a penny?” you laugh out, the soft vibrations of your voice sending a blazing warmth through levi’s body.

“then why the fuck would you offer one?” he deadpans, a teasing look glinting in his irises. 

“it’s just an expressi-“ you stop and sigh, bringing your hand to your face to briefly cover your eyes in exasperation.  “you know what i mean levi, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“i want to smoke with you.”

what?

you were transparent with him from the beginning that you smoked weed; it had never been an issue for him but he made it clear he did not want to partake in your smoke seshes. he would sit with you, of course, but would never ask for a bowl or a hit of your blunts. it wasn’t an issue for you, content to enjoy the hazy, warm feeling it would envelop your body in alone. 

you understood, given his upbringing you had assumed initially that he would have looked for someone else due to your… reliance on the substance, but he surprised you instead with his lackadaisical reaction toward the subject. while you were fine smoking alone, there had always been a part of you that wanted him to experience it with you, too. 

“…really?” there was a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips, and levi let out a soft laugh. 

“yes, really. i’m just… curious,” levi spoke mindfully, choosing his words carefully. 

he was never one for big displays of what he wanted, usually just hinting at what he wanted. this time around, you caught on instantly. 

“curious? or tired of not being able to fuck me when i’m high?” you teased, knowing full well how much it pissed him off when you’d get needy while high. not because he was upset that you were high, he was upset that he couldn’t touch you. 

“fuck off and pack me a bowl.” he scoffed and sat up, pushing himself off of the couch. 

“really? you don’t want to start with a joint?” you quirked an eyebrow. 

he shrugged his shoulders, and crossed his arms, wearing an expression of boredom. 

“okay.” you shrugged back and went to grab your grinder and bong. 

—

the two of you were now sat on the deck, shoulder to shoulder on the small outdoor loveseat you’d thrifted when first moving in. you packed his bowl— a brimmer. 

“if you’re gonna toke you’re gonna toke the right way!” you announced playfully as he rolled his eyes, taking the bong from you. 

“okay, hold it there- yeah, perfect. when you see the cherry sink-“

“the fuck is a cherry?” levi interrupts you, and you feign offense. 

“i have failed you as a partner. three years together and you don’t even know your terminology…” you sigh sadly, shaking your head back and forth as he scoffs. 

“whatever, keep talking.” he demands, fidgeting with the beaded bracelets you’d decorated your glass piece with. 

“okay well- the cherry is the part that gets pulled into the chamber when you smoke, like when it goes from quiet bubbles to loud bubbles, you get me?” he stared at you blankly, before replying. 

“..sure.”

your explanation may not have been the best, you decided to have two bowls to yourself before smoking levi up. 

“your fault for not paying attention when i was toking,” you blew a raspberry at him before continuing. “anyway, when you sink it, pull the bowl and keep inhaling until the chamber is clear, okay? i’ll light it for you.”

levi hummed in agreement before a long exhale, ‘at least he learned one thing from watching me’ you thought to yourself before flicking the lighter above the packed bowl. 

levi began to inhale, the orange ember travelling down the bowl until it sank into the water sitting at the bottom. levi pulled on the bowl and-

oh no

he pulled out the fucking downstem.

levi’s eyes widened before all the smoke left his lungs and mouth with a cough, saliva dripping out of his mouth. you quickly grabbed the bong before he dropped it, rubbing his back as he coughed. 

“jesus christ levi, i said pull the bowl not the fucking downstem!” you chided him before reaching for the water bottle on the wooden table in front of you both. 

“fuck *hack* off.” he said through coughs, darting to the railing so he could spit out the saliva filling his mouth. 

he sat back down and took the water bottle from your hands, gulping it down to soothe the fire in his throat. 

“you fucking do this for fun?” he asked, wiping the tears pricking from the corners of his eyes as he continued to let out small coughs. 

“it’s fun when you pull the fucking bowl properly, dumbass.” you flick his forehead and he glares at you, a pinkish hue replacing the whites of his eyes. all of a sudden, his eyes widen and he stares at you.

“oh.” is all he can manage to say before you both burst out laughing, tears threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes. you take his hand and lead him back inside, shutting the glass door behind you while levi stands there wobbling.

“yeah.. maybe a half bowl would’ve been fine,” you giggle and place a kiss on his cheek before resting your head in the crook of his neck, sighing softly as your body slowly is enveloped in a buzzing warmth. levi’s hands crawl down your sides before resting on your hips, steadying himself. 

“my mouth is so fucking dry.”

this is one of the most self-indulgent things ive ever written in my LIIIIFEEE also i wrote this instead of finishing the first chapter of my fic im working on LMFAO

anyways i hope u guys enjoyed this!! pls reblog if u did <3!

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

High on Life: CP9's Intoxicants of Choice

Inspired by a conversation with @evilhorses​ (and various stories from my parent’s wild and addled youth), here are some musings about drinks, drugs, and other shenanigans that our favorite furry assassins might indulge in.

Tossing under a readmore~!

Rob Lucci: Lucci doesn't seem the sort to have a lot of healthy coping mechanisms, and as we've canonically seen him drink, I'm pretty sure Lucci takes his intoxicants as a way to unwind, both mentally and emotionally. He doesn't like losing control of himself, so he sticks to his tried and true methods. He can be a bit of a booze snob, and has definitely argued with bartenders over the right way to serve certain cocktails. He never lets himself get outright drunk, and it takes quite a bit to even get him tipsy. Marijuana, on the other hand? He only partakes in private or among close friends, and he isn't as classy about it. Give him a joint or two, and expect to find him sprawled out later in true feline spirit. You might even be able to use him as a pillow in this state.

Kaku: Kaku goes pretty light on his intoxicants, for the most part. He'll drink a beer here or there, tends to smoke strains that are higher in CBD and lower in THC, and the like. I do think he self-medicates a bit this way, especially after a bad fight, in order to keep up with the others. But he does a damn good job keeping it in check. That said, if he's among close friends and they're letting loose, he'll allow himself to do the same on occasion. And he's the sort who'll just ramble about any ol' subject under the influence, and heaven help you, he will not shut up until he's asleep.

Kalifa: Like Lucci, she's classy with her choice in alcohol, and she always keeps a close tab on her drink. She usually sticks to a glass of expensive wine or the occasional fruity cocktail, but she can absolutely drink others under the table if the situation calls for it. She also is the best about hydrating, so no one has ever seen her hungover. She doesn't partake in marijuana much. We've seen her smoke in canon on a cover report, so she likely does that when stressed, but can probably clean her lungs out with her soap powers somehow. I can also see her dabbling in other stimulants, but again, only from trusted sources.

Blueno: Knows how to mix and drink a good beverage. While he became a bartender for the snooping aspects, he ended up with an appreciation for crafting drinks, and has even invented a few cocktails of his own (and is the only one who can make a drink strong enough to knock the zoans on their asses). He doesn't like to smoke, but he'll pop a few edibles on the sly. He prefers depressor substances to help keep cool and collected, but like Lucci, he tends to stick with what he knows. He's so deadpan that no one ever knows at what point he stops being sober. At parties, he's the designated babysitter who keeps everyone else in line.

Jabra: He's had a rough-and-tumble upbringing, and he's had a good time doing it. He likes a drink here and there, especially subtle stuff like sake, but he much prefers weed. Smoke, edibles, doesn't matter, he even has a fancy hookah in his room when the occasion strikes. On occasion, he'll bring shenanigans to a party in the vein of acid or mushrooms, at which point he gets incredibly excited about "how interconnected the world is" or how the room is turning. Jabra does have other ways of unwinding (seeing as he can form relationships with folks outside his work), so most of his intoxicants are more recreational in nature. 

Kumadori: Doesn't really partake in drugs or alcohol much, though when he does, he can affect how they go through his system with Life Returns, which is neat for controlling his highs and lows. If he does anything, he'll drink a bit of sake or one fruity cocktail that's mostly juice. Tried an edible once and did not take well to it. On the other hand, he did drop acid with Jabra once, and supposedly figured out how to bring about world peace before the high wore off. Really, having such revelations without them sticking around in his head is frustrating to no end, which is part of why he hasn't tried it a second time.

Fukuro: Okay, where do you think everyone gets their weed from? Fukuro grows his own stash, has made a few strains and keeps them separated between CBD and THC levels. Can't keep it a secret that he deals, or that he gives discounts to friends (or anyone who gives him good gossip). He occasionally drops other stuff with Jabra, but at parties, he mostly passes out "the supplies" and then assists on munchie runs. He's also seen everyone's personal files; supposedly someone has said on record that they "wouldn't do cocaine again unless in a socially acceptable situation", but everyone always zips his mouth shut before he can reveal who.

BONUS

Spandam: Drinks, but can't hold his liquor. Everything he acquires is either super cheap or waaaay too expensive. He's the sort to write down wine descriptions ahead of time, then match them to drinks later to pretend like he knows what he's talking about. Tried and failed at smoking a joint that turned out to be oregano. Knows that Fukuro deals, but never manages to catch him in the act.

Nero: Didn't figure out his limits, would always drink way too much and pass out right afterwards. The one person who honestly thought it was a secret that he bought weed from Fukuro, even though Fukuro is very...open about his clientele. 

Bedlam (CP9 OC): Bedlam doesn't really drink, but will make an exception for any cocktail that involves coffee. Is banned from taking stimulants because they already have a hard time keeping still. Will take edibles with high-CBD strains for pain relief sometimes when their legs are acting up, or to help them sleep. Generally joins Blueno as group babysitter, at least until Lucci and Kaku convince Bedlam to join them in shenanigans.

[headinthestaticsky]

Frozen Within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 9.

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

My arms are open for you look at me now, Baby, if you want you got me. I know you're broken darling I won't let you down, 'Cause baby, I've been waiting for you.

Do I have to write it on your bedroom wall you fool?"

Bedroom Walls by, BANKS.

"Emm... on the behalf of Jasper and myself...I'm sorry." I said Rosalie laughed and turned to me. Emmett flew through the air once again, hitting the ground even harder.

"Don't worry about... Emmett's kinda cocky, it'll knock him down a peg."

"I have a feeling Jasper's going to be brutal today." I saw Emmett walking next to me, rubbing the back of his head.

"No kidding..." He grumbled.

Edward and Bella slinked toward the rest of us, it looked like they didn't really want to be here. I saw the wolf pack a few seconds later, they didn't look very trustworthy.

"They don't trust us enough to be in their human form," Edward said, taking the thoughts right out of my head.

"They came, that’s what matters. Will you be our translater Edward?" Carlisle asked, Edward just nodded.

"Welcome, Jasper has experience with the newborns, teach us how to defeat them." Carlisle explained.

"They wanna know how the newborns differ from us."

"Newborns are the strongest form a vampire can be. You may notice Fleur, her eyes are red as opposed to our gold. Due to how long she's been a vampire they're still red. Her human blood still lingers within her tissues, making her stronger than any of us. Jasper will continue on from here he is more well versed in this than I am." Carlisle continued.

"A newborn army doesn’t need thousands like a human army. But no human army can stand against them. Now the two most important things to remember are; first never let them get their arms around you, they’ll crush you instantly. The second, never go for the obvious kill, they’ll be expecting that and you will lose." Jasper said, he sounded determined.

"Emmett Fleur! You two first Don't hold back on each other." Jasper called toward him. I stood there shocked for a second... I didn't know how in the hell to fight.

"Scared? I would understand...you seem pretty fragile."

"Alright... bring it."

Emmett began to run toward me and I braced myself. He made me drag my knees down into the dirt and then threw me up into the air. I then ran toward him and dodged a tackle he tried to strike me with, I kicked him in the face sending him flying a few feet back.

"Victory belongs to be!" I said, raising my arms in the air.

"Emmett...never lose focus," Jasper said. Carlisle and Edward were up next. I walked next to Rosalie again and whispered in her ear.

"5 bucks on Carlisle."

"You're on, there is no way Edward can lose... he can read Carlisle's mind."

The two ran toward one another, both of them dodging an attack. They then put their hands around each other's necks. Carlisle threw Edward off of him, knocking him back a few feet. I looked and saw Bella staring intently. Carlisle threw a punch but missed, Edward grabbed him by the shirt and slammed Carlisle into the ground.

"You owe me 5..." Rosalie started.

"One more thing," Carlisle tripped Edward onto the ground and held him there.

"Don't turn your back on the enemy," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

"You mean... you owe me right?" I said smugly.

"Oh take it and gloat somewhere else," Rosalie said jokingly.

I saw Jasper looking over at us, he gestured for Rosalie to come to him. She threw the first punch but he was quick to swing back, she dodged them all and twisted a few feet back. Before she could react she was grabbed by her arms and flipped over onto the ground, she landed with a hard thud I winced. I saw the wolves leave, Jasper walked away, I decided to follow him wanting to end this silence. He stopped when Bella talked to him, I wasn't completely mad I was a vampire for once... super hearing is great.

"Jasper, are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?" Bella asked, I could tell she was alluding to being turned into a vampire.

"Well, your presence alone, your scent will distract the newborns. Their hunting instincts will take over, drive them crazy. Hopefully, your sister won't get too distracted by you." Jasper said, ignoring her obvious hint, and began walking away again.

"Jasper wait... how do you know some much about this stuff?" Bella asked.

"I didn’t have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings."

Jasper rolled up his sleeves, bites were littered across his skin.

"Hey, those are like mine."

"They're battle scars, all the work my momma and dad prepped me with was nothing compared to them...neither was the short training the confederate army gave me... not that it was by choice. I escaped the first chance I got." They both started to walked away, I still followed them.

"You ran from the confederate army? Wouldn't you get killed for that if you got caught?"

"It would've been worth it... I never believed in their disgusting opinions on human beings...I wasn't about to partake in it just because I was forced to join them... I got killed either way... due to a certain, immortal...Maria. I just made it to Galveston, I took a short break thinking I got far enough from the base when I saw her... she turned me soon after... making me one of the leaders of her army. I trained the newborns, but after a year when their newborn faze was over I was forced to kill them. I could feel everything they felt, it wasn't until I spared a friend and a mate of his, that I was able to escape from her."

Bella looked bored.

"I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet, she pulled the strings. I didn’t know there was another way, till I found Alice and Dean. She saw me coming of course. But, I still felt incomplete. Then she told me a few years back about your sister...my soulmate, no matter how much she pisses me off." He had a smile on his face. I decided to approach him now seeing he was a bit happier than earlier.

"It took me long enough huh?" I said, approaching wearily. Neither Bella nor Jasper said anything.

"I need to talk to you Jasper, alone..." Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes, but left. We stood in silence for a second, neither of us knowing what to say.

"I'm really sorry Jaz... I don't know what happened to me that night... I just got really pissed..."

"Fleur..."

"And I shouldn't have said the things I did."

"Fleur..."

"You have way better control with bloodlust than me trust me!"

"Love..."

"No really...I know I could probably eat a whole town."

"Darlin... calm down please... your emotions are giving me a headache. Trust me, my love, I can feel how sorry you are, you are definitely guilt-ridden."

"I feel so bad..."

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have brought up your bloodlust, you have great control over it."

"No, I don't..." I turned away from him

"What are you talking about?"

"It's true what you said... I almost snapped on my dad a few days ago... he cut himself trying to make dinner, I was so close Jaz... so close." I felt him turn me back around.

"It's going to be fine, you'll have better control of it in a few months."

"I guess I just go mad because you reminded me about the parts I hate most about being a vampire. I can't even hug my dad without getting tempted, it's horrible."

"I'm sorry love."

"You didn't know, if I told you about it we wouldn't have even fought."

"Let's go home Darlin." Jasper suggested, he kissed me a few seconds afterward.

"Yeah... let's go home... I want to make fun of Emmett, we both destroyed him."

"Sounds like a plan love."

[zuzuslastbraincell]

mai & the rest of the gaang:

mai & aang: a bit awkward, at first? not on aang's end of course, he's totally unflustered and in fact quite keen to get to know zuko's girlfriend and I actually think mai doesn't know what to do with this attitude, given she spent six months or so trying to hunt him down, and that's very present in her mind. hanging out with aang is a very pleasant culture shock in how he casually diaregards half the norms she was raised to strictly follow, speaking with warm enthusiasm and genuine curiosity to all, be they dish washers or tea servers or the Fire Lord's girlfriend, disregarding barriers of social class that are so carefully upheld in the Fire Nation. It's refreshing as it is bewildering. I think mai does develop a fondness for aang - although she can find him and his antics a bit much at times - and deeply respects and cares for him if only for how valued his friendship with zuko is. she claims to tolerate his goofy antics but she enjoys them far more than she lets on (his flying marble trick does elicit a rare smile, although it only appears for 0.02 seconds before returning to the most deadpan expression). I think mai respects him most politically actually - aang grows up to be an excellent diplomat, an excellent mediator who does not lose sight of the importance of various different perspectives, especially those who are forgotten or maligned, even when in circles of power.

mai & sokka: as discussed, they have a rocky start. sokka, my darling beloved sokka, has a tendency to be a bit abrasive, if we're honest, in that his humour and his puns are a little in-your-face, he has a bit of an ego aboht being the funniest/smartest person in the room, and he can take it personally when people don't like it. mai doesn't have much time for that. mai doesn't care much for sokka's jokes if only because they're attached to this ego, but also and finds the puns a bit flat (whereas she finds aang's mischief making genuinely funny, though she tries to hide it), and sokka takes this deeply personally and tries really hard to elicit a laugh from her. this just ends up with him aggravating her more. I think mai has little time for sensitive male ego games and that's partially why her and sokka clash- she won't blunt herself for him, even if he is one of zuko's closest friends. I think sokka, to his credit, doesn't dismiss her as a 'bitch' and keeps trying - in fact, the reason he comes on so strong is because he actually really wants her to like her - and i think that's because of boiling rock, and because of that alone sokka deeply respects mai on many levels (and was extremely surprised by how all that played out, and knows from that alone that mai is a layered and complex person who contains multitudes). I think what might cause mai to warm to him is politics - sokka's a pragmatist, who is skeptical of idealism without material backing and is refreshingly realistic for one of aang's friends. he keeps the fire nation on its toes at the negotiating table but he's also the first to point out when a potential proposition - when anyone's potential proposition - has more logical holes than a piece of honeycomb. i think mai appreciates that perspective. and i think they could slowly and gradually go from personality clashing to building this begrudging friendship where mai will never openly admit that she likes him, where sokka will still grate but in a way that becomes almost familiar and comfortable because of that, and where - especially in a situation where they have to work on a project together - they're a formidable team. a difficult friendship but eventually could be a dear one.

mai & katara: another personality clash that becomes a really fascinating friendship. katara wasn't there for boiling rock and is perhaps a bit cool towards mai even understanding what she did there, and the grounds where they most often meet is politics, and they largely are at odds there too. they're interesting parallels, in terms of role - both partners of powerful world leaders, but while mai positions herself as a vital support and power behind zuko's regime, furthering that goal, katara loathes to be associated with aang simply because of their romantic relationship, and does not envision their relationship to be a political one: aang and katara stand independent, but with shared values and goals (and perhaps katara simply does not understand why mai takes the position she does regarding politics and relationships). their actual political approach wildly differs, with katara being an impassioned idealist who is the most radical out of the gaang, whereas mai is a pragmatist - much more concerned about the feasibility of the radical ideas proposed and sees herself occupying the role of a much needed skeptic who asks 'okay, but how are we going to do this?' in a group of radicals. this does lead to some fierce clashes actually - some of katara's proposals appear outlandish to mai, and katara interprets this as fire nation indoctrination and ideological conditioning limiting her perspective (and honestly neither are completely wrong - mai can be on occasion perhaps too conservative and cynical and that is often because her upbringing has limited her scope, and katara sometimes isn't fully aware of how feasible her ideas are and leaves practical concerns to others). I think despite this they have such a deep respect for each other - and that's in part why their arguments are so impassioned, because they both fundamentally know the other comes from a good place. mai saved katara's brother's life at boiling rock, and katara saved mai's partner during the final agni kai - they have both proven to each other the extent of their commitment and cared for another they care about deeply. they're the biggest idealism vs. cynicism clash but honestly over time i think the respect only grows over time despite periods of hot and cold. I'd like to think if katara ever has relationship difficulties with aang, after her gran's, it's mai whose advice she might respect the most - after all, it's mai who understands what it's like to date someone who is a world leader, and mai absolutely believes in having firm, healthy boundaries and little tolerance for sufferring for men in relationships. I think given their positions they're often in dialogue and in conversation and end up building the most unexpected but also rock solid friendship. they *would* take a bullet for each other, i am sure of it.

mai & toph: i love these two. an incredible friendship. mai takes to toph the quickest out of aang's friends. it makes sense - toph comes from a similar class and upbringing as mai, albeit has taken a different life path and expresses herself completely differently, and i think while surprised and thrown at first by toph's bluntness, mai sees that and not only respects but honestly just loves how toph is a little crass, and doesn't hold decorum as the be all and end all. I think the age difference here actually makes a difference - mai very much sees toph as a younger peer (and eventually, much like zuko, a younger sibling), and while it can be sad to see someone from a younger generation express themselves freely in a way that mai feel she can't, i think her joy at seeing that takes precedence here over any mixed feelings. mai pretends not to be amused at toph's antics (but quietly delights at them) and absolutely is the person who will get the authorities that be in the fire nation to look away from whatever misdemeanours she's committing at any given time (indeed, mai as often been a partner in crime - actually, speaking of, she's been surprised before to see katara also partake with toph, and it was an ice-breaking moment for them, probably one engineered by toph). that said, mai absolutely does not patronise toph, gives it to her straight, will also tell toph when she's going too far or pushing the limit, something toph deeply respects and values. mai can see toph's wisdom and her strong intuitive understanding of how others feel, and admires that, as well as the kindness toph shows (i would not be surprised if mai looks at toph and wants to be a little more like her). I also think mai's sardonic and biting sense of humour is best appreciated by toph out of aang's friends (sokka also finds it very funny, but sokka is also trying hard to get mai to like him, as aforementioned). mai and toph vibe together *so hard* and *so well* (something i think zuko is quietly deeply grateful for, since mai hasn't clicked as well with the rest of the gaang, but also because he views toph like a little sister too).

mai & suki: right! so this one is complicated. mai does not see suki as often as the rest of the gaang - she sees katara and aang often for political reasons, at summits and keets and so on, sokka keeps in touch often and is constantly sending letters, and toph will just turn up unannounced and will stay for several weeks to "relandscape" the fire nation gardens (so she claims) every year or so. I am sticking to show canon here but reject the comics canon - there is no way in hell suki ends up as a bodyguard for zuko, the kyoshi warriors have better things to be doing. so! while mai absolutely saved the teal at boiling rock and suki knows this, the fact that they see each other relatively little mean things are a bit... cool between them? Not quite cold, but there's a degree of awkwardness that mai works past with the others that takes longer with suki. I honestly don't know if suki knows how she should feel about mai? like ty lee not only helped at boiling rock but then went on to work with the warriors and suki very much sees someone who wants to prove herself and right those wrongs in ty lee (as well as someone who is running away but. that's another post). mai completed step 1 and 2 with boiling rock, but hasn't... done anything after that. and on paper they're cool and she knows it but... idk if she knows how to feel? it's a bit weird. a bit awkward and weird. it's possible suki holds more of a grudge than she's willing to admit (she's been most directly wronged by mai and ty lee after all) and the fact that mai has returned to the fire nation, and been, according to katara, disappointingly conservative at times, makes her question what boiling rock meant. suki is cordial and professional around mai but doesn't really know her that well and doesn't trust her as much as the others. mai doesn't particularly care either way and will take or leave friendship with suki (though mai, to be clear, does respect suki immensely as a warrior). the key factor here is ty lee, honestly. i think the two of them could have an excellent relationship if so inclined but it would apmost definitely be due to ty lee trying to prod them into getting along and hanging out and getting to know each other - because i think they're both practical minded, no-nonsense girls who are exceptionally skilled in martial arts and if nothing else they could bond theough sparring sessions, but i think they'd also just get along splendidly if they had the chance. suki just doesn't quite trust mai and mai making those personal amends isn't a priority when she's trying to stop zuko running the fire nation into the ground.

[shoichee]

KNB OC

Name: Shirobi Arisu

School: Touou Academy

Zodiac: Pisces

Note: I gave it an attempt to draw her portraits in the Production I.G artstyle! Excuse the lazy anatomy and messy sketch lines, er... hope they don’t distract you too bad? Also EXTREMELY long profile, hence the cut! This is a 300-follower special, but perhaps I’ll do something with Shirobi in the future! (Shirobi is her surname, Arisu is her first name)

Appearances

Personality

she is very much described to be “fox-like” in demeanor, slipping in and out of conversations naturally and with ease, being able to show different aspects and sides of her to different types of people

her default persona in encountering new people is a noble, unassuming/demure one in order to gauge how they interact with her before adjusting accordingly // you can see what that looks like here

a very innate actress, but the most cynical description of her would be “two-faced,” though it’s important to note that her personas are not so drastic that they seem like different people (like Akashi’s situation); perhaps if someone was keenly observing her for a while, they would notice

she does subtle shifts in aspects of her personality’s repertoire because of: 1.) becoming more compatible with people, and thus, having the most efficient conversations without having “annoying, unnecessary” conflicts with them, and 2.) studying people in different social settings is interesting to her

as a result of her jumping around and exploring different sides of her to different people daily, she does wind up suffering from mini identity crises and mental exhaustion very frequently

after a whole dismantle of her *mostly harmless* mind schemes (particularly by a close friend or two later on), her “true self” would be a deflective “tsundere-like” character, since her visceral reaction is for her to always slip into a convenient persona for the situation rather than being initially honest with herself and the people around her, and without the security of a “persona,” she gets flustered and embarrassed very *very* easily

hobbies in her free time include either being alone to sleep and not worrying about how to present herself or reading various works of (non)fiction (of many genres)/psychology to study people and how they tick (bonus: became a recent internet junkie after finding greater convenience in just finding articles and blogs instantly with a simple click)

irony: she finds talking to people inconvenient and tiring but she finds it intriguing to study them in all aspects of behavioral, cultural, and social means (so she kind of has to talk with people)

certified ambivert

if she does approach to someone, it’s almost never for the reasons of “making friends;” if there is no intellectual gain nor tangible benefit from talking, then she won’t bother partaking in it

because of her recent upbringing, while she may not show it, she despises arguments and fights, so when situations escalate, she will attempt to either smoothly divert the subject elsewhere and/or trivialize the matter to a degree; if all else fails, she will simply disengage from the conversation (essentially avoiding confrontation) // note: see “background” section for context

Teiko-era Personality

pleasant and friendly, albeit shy

perfect example of a polite goody two-shoes and teachers’ pet but still respected among her classmates for her genuine cordiality

very reserved individual but at this time was slowly breaking out of her shell to try to befriend her classmates to distract her mind from thinking about her home life

post-divorce/3rd year of Teiko: see “background” section for context

               *while still maintaining her amiable grace, she slowly detached herself from her acquaintances and classmates, keeping to herself a lot more while critically studying them increasingly as months went by; she began to talk with others only when it was a necessity

                                   *(occurred during her 1st year of Touou) a few months after she graduated from Teiko, she stopped going to the gym after school to observe the first string’s practices and only went to their games for Kōzō’s sake (especially when he fell ill) // her observant skills quickly picked up, even from their games alone, that the Teiko team’s dynamics have completely changed (which she relates this revelation back to Kōzō in the hospital)

                                   *her current personality will hit full force once she enters high school after graduating from Teiko

“Last Game” Personality

reverted mostly back to her genuine, cordial self, but is still very spontaneous in showing different aspects of her personality in different situations, although most who know her can see right through her now (unless she really wanted to fool them, she probably could)

attempts to be more honest with herself and with others, especially in trying to unpack years of compartmentalization starting from her Teiko years

if she’s caught off guard, she will definitely become a flustered tsundere type of person

a happier person now that she’s made friends to rely on (•̀ᴗ•́)و (e.g. Momoi and Sakurai)

Background/Family

her multifaceted personality stemmed from her home life, where her parents became increasingly volatile and erratic when interacting with each other before they finally divorced her 2nd year of middle school

she constantly observed how her parents would initially act romantic on some days, but on many other days, they’d either tiptoe carefully around each other during conversations or they’d immediately fight

                    *rather than focusing on the discord of her home, she’d observe how they’d interact with each other in every situation and how despite being the two same individuals, they both act differently with each other every time they meet, thus feeding her intrigue on how individuals act in various social settings and cues

her parents would later on (shortly before divorcing) only meet up for motives of financial discussions, decisions on who she would live with for the week, etc. and they would no longer spend time together out of sentiment and love

                    *this imprinted into her belief that conversations that bring mutual benefit/reward are much better than other casual interactions, since she sees that they don’t provoke the unnecessary conflict/fights like other interactions do (e.g. seeing her parents fight when they talk about anything else)

Kōzō Shirogane (her great uncle, Teiko’s ex-coach) and Eiji Shirogane (a distant relative, Rakuzan’s current coach) are both from her father’s side of the family, hence she attended Teiko on behalf of Kōzō’s request in exchange for him paying for all of her school’s expenses (he wanted to spend more time with his great niece before he fell completely ill)

she and Kōzō would often be on the upper floor to observe practices together, and she would be immersed in studying how players would interact with each other on and off of courts; he was the one that got her into watching sports games (basketball in particular)

she graduated from Teiko a year before the GoMs did but would frequently visit their practices after school with Kōzō (until he fell ill)

she took after her mother’s surname after the divorce

Kōzō Shirogane fell ill shortly after her parents’ divorce

after graduating from middle school, she lives alone in an apartment under Shirogane’s name

she is not close with her parents but goes to visit each of them separately once in a while when Kōzō makes her go see them

she sees Kōzō as more of the father figure and cares deeply for him, and as for Eiji, she respects and admires him, but she isn’t close with him

ever since Kōzō fell ill, she would visit him in the hospital biweekly and update him on highlights from critical games from middle school and later on, inter-high and winter cup

Headcanons

she is the opposite of Kuroko in which she has a huge presence; it could be because of her hair color, hair pins, the many ways she carries herself throughout the day, or all of the above

why does she wear tons of hairpins? we don’t know, but she thinks they look nice and keeps the unruly hair out (for convenience)

sports games are fun for her to watch up close IRL because she can detect/study the mental games and simulations sparking across different players without having to talk to other people at all // televised games are useless because they cut a lot footage and cameras jump around too much for her to discern anything cohesive on the players

(if she ever got to speak with them) the most interesting people for her to converse with and study would be Midorima (because of his oha asa’s obsessions), Imayoshi, Hanamiya, Akashi, Teppei, Mitobe (she can actually understand him), and Momoi (when she doesn’t fawn over Kuroko)

no one knows what to genuinely get her for her birthday, let alone knowing her actual birthday; the closest thing they know is her zodiac sign

                     *throughout her deduced “birthday month,” different people will approach her with different gifts with what they thought she was interested in (because of her different personas she exhibited with each person): porn mags, antiques, shopping coupons, snacks, comic gags, etc.

                     *she keeps her birthday on the down low to prevent any chances of people being suspicious of her character when they try to throw a party for her and realizing she has these drastic “hobbies” and “interests” with each person // plus she doesn’t see a point of having a party because she knows how these familiar acquaintances would act in this particular situation

                     *she’s a fan of attending other people’s parties to observe them without being in the spotlight for once

she could be considered as part of the “uncrowned” generation considering her cognitive/mental skills and deduction (and she’s the same year as them)

                     *she and riko could be rivals as 2nd years in that sense, along with Momoi when she becomes a 1st year

Role/Skill

if she ever joined a sports club, her critical role would be monitoring and improving cognitive (mental) acuity especially in the following brain functions of: information processing, memory storage, attention, and situational judgement (and how they all respond and handle high pressure), since she’s so keen on studying people and how they act in different situations

she would also study opponents’ levels of acuity especially during huge pressure and high stakes

she will note environmental factors as well as lifestyles on every player; home players would get the according lists of tasks to work on to improve their acuity (which may include diet changes, mental exercises, adjusted sleep schedules, etc.) on their own and get tested on set dates

                 *will also initially ask home players to do a quick self-survey on possible genetic factors that would affect cognitive performance as well as any prescription/drug history

during club hours, she shows a very professional, polite side that purposefully distances herself from the rest of the team, and she is initially solely there to do her job and get compensations from the coach (until eventually she stays because she actually cares for the team)

Interactions

Kuroko: (Teiko + present)

polite with each other, although both will joke with each other in such a way that others can’t really tell if a joke just passed between them or if they’re being serious

she shifts her personality to be slightly more deadpan and delivers more dry humor when she’s around Kuroko

bonus: she addresses him with the nickname “Kurokuro” with the deadpan delivery, and others don’t know whether to laugh or be concerned

she doesn’t jump from his sudden appearances; while she doesn’t detect where he pops up most of the time, when he does, she just shrugs it off casually or does the dry “ahh i’m scared” or “wahhh you scared me” with surrendering hand motions whenever people around her get a genuine jumpscare from him

Kise: (Teiko + present)

with him she becomes more expressive and mildly snickers at their jokes together

the moment his fans come though, she’ll ditch him no questions asked; their constant interrogations and verbal grillings + fangirling are inconvenient to deal with // she’ll observe their behaviors from afar and take note on fan culture though, so she wouldn’t ditch him per say

she finds the fact that Kise can switch between a serious, determined persona and a flamboyant, energetic one so quickly really intriguing to witness every single time

Kise turns to her for mundane advice because “she’s just smart,” but she finds it really annoying and often gives him vague (but still valid) answers to shoo him away

Midorima: (Teiko + present)

she talks to him the most, mostly because his oha asa obsessions and meticulous rituals and schedules are ridiculously fascinating

she takes on a more serious persona (which is easy since she’s a pretty serious-like person to begin with) and subtly challenges Midorima, poking and prodding with very well-veiled questions to uncover the bottom of his obsessions

she does study up a bit of astrology and arcana books because of Midorima // one day he caught her with an astrology book on hand, and he immediately assumed she was into horoscopes as well, to which she did not deny a thing and let him convinced himself that she was (she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do)

after that ordeal, he gave her lucky items for her sign sometimes back in the Teiko days

just two smart brains having casual conversations about school

in the present day, if Takao was there, her persona switches to the one similar to what she’d use with Kise, and both would make snide remarks about Midorima

Midorima is slightly confused in seeing a subtly different side to her but he figured it was just Takao’s antics

Aomine: (Teiko + present)

when it was the days of “Puremine,” she was a supportive character, being slightly more blunt and more outspoken

she was extremely observant of his talent, and she was one of the first people to notice that he was going to bloom in talent before anyone else while also knowing its consequences // she subtly dropped hints for Aomine to slow down his pace in practicing, playing, etc. and to take a step back from basketball, but the blue-haired boy was an idiot so he didn’t pick them up one bit ((AKASHI DID THOUGH, UH))

with current Aomine, she’s presenting a more indifferent persona while further pushing a blunter side of herself when interacting with Aomine

like Imayoshi, she’s picked up on his dilemma and inner turmoil very quickly, but she wasn’t like Momoi who was actively trying to help him // she wasn’t enthusiastic in exerting effort when she knew that what he really needed to have his conflicts resolved was a definitive showdown on the courts

she doesn’t understand the appeal of porn mags at all, but feigns interest in them especially around Aomine (when they attend Touou Academy) to figure out why are people at her age so enthralled by them; Aomine definitely thinks she’s into them and gets her mags of half naked people for her and he’s extremely smug about it (“because we’re bros together” // “you’re welcome,” as he slaps her back way too hard)

she doesn’t really hang out with Aomine in Touou, maybe sometimes after school when she finds him up in the rooftop skipping practice when she’s in the mood to study how he ticks and annoy him for certain reactions to either prove/debunk her predictions

Momoi (Teiko + present)

she takes on a “girlier” and “cutesy” personality to be more compatible with Momoi to get along with her common interests

doesn’t really hang out with Momoi during the Teiko days unless Momoi approached her first with either data analyses, questions, or pleas to come with her to either: go shopping, drag Aomine, follow around Kuroko, etc.

Momoi addresses to her as “senpai” or “chan”

(during Teiko and present) asks her questions about her “love life” with Kuroko in a way that makes Momoi think she’s someone who believes in romance and lovey dovey things (she’s quite neutral about it IRL)

when Momoi finds out they both ended up at Touou, Momoi pounces on her every chance they get and drags her around because “we’re best friends!” // she goes along with it just to see how things turn out

she ends up being Momoi’s listening ear as she rants about Aomine’s awful habits or her worries about the team

Momoi begs and pleads her to join the team and assist them in some way; she outright refused, but Momoi is also intelligent in which she comes up with new offers everyday to try to convince her

she finally agrees when Momoi asked the coach to pay her a weekly salary (poor guy, but then again he’s rich) for her work and take Momoi’s word that the addition of her would be nothing but beneficial for the team’s success

because they're both on the same team together, they both spend even more time together to do analyses on both their own team members and other schools’ players

attends Touou’s games and only watches from first row seats in the audience in order to conduct naturalistic observations on both teams; she will never be on the benches unless it’s the semi-finals onwards

Murasakibara: (Teiko + present)

there isn’t much to study on this guy; he’s as straightforward as a single-file line

she either acts more of a casual childlike persona (by calling him “Muramura” or “Sakisaki-san”) or exhibits more of a stern, serious side (e.g. the persona used with Midorima) depending on the situation/context

she definitely bribes him with snacks and food to do convenient favors (in addition to using childish nicknames), or she throws the snacks far, gives them to someone else, eats them in front of him, etc. to elicit reactions from the man-child

she knows it’s better for her own good to NOT purposely provoke the scary side of Murasakibara, but when that side does come out for other reasons, it’s showtime for her; she’s going to be observing him with hidden glee

she doesn’t talk with him after graduating from Teiko; the next time she’ll see him is during the winter cup, particularly with yosen vs. seirin // it’s another movie marathon for her just watching every players and how they interact with each other (a LITERAL showdown between Teppei and Murasakibara.... Kagami and Himuro.... Himuro and Murasakibara—yeah it’s a field day)

Akashi: (Teiko + present)

she and ore-Akashi get along swell; she is at her surface self the most when conversing with him, not having a need to adjust herself that much from her initial “polite” persona

lots of theoretical talks and hypotheses in studying people and the world; they both respect each other very much

boku-Akashi is a different story; she starts avoiding him tactfully after his other side awakens

the saying “it takes one to know one” is especially true in this case: Akashi is very much aware of her two-facedness, and she is uncomfortable at the fact of him knowing such an innermost secret about herself

at the same time, she knows about where his “other side” “disappeared” to, whereas no one else hadn’t had a clue

both know about each other’s gimmicks and personalities, and throughout the rest of their years at Teiko, it’s a bunch of mind games and careful maneuverings around each other

Akashi finds it thrilling because it’s reminiscent of shogi

she finds this stressful because what the hell please leave me alone i’m trying to avoid you

after she got over her initial anxiety of this newfound revelation of new Akashi, she carefully treads this game and takes the advantage to study how this new side of Akashi ticks

he DEFINITELY caught what she was trying to do with Aomine in dropping hints; in response, he used his role as captain to push Aomine to try harder in games

she DEFINITELY caught what he was trying to do in pushing Aomine in “motivating” him; problem was, she wasn’t going to sacrifice her effort, wellbeing, and life to go against Akashi

after graduating from Teiko, when she still used to observe their practices and games, she was still very much uneasy and tried to downplay her presence to avoid Akashi’s scrutiny (sadly, her presence is too significant) // she really wished she was a Kuroko

she was able to breathe easier once she finds out later that they’re both going to different high schools; she continues to watch more of Rakuzan’s games after finding out that’s where Akashi ended up attending to figure his dynamics with his team + basketball and then predict his current mannerisms off the courts

when ore-Akashi comes back, she’s suspicious at first, but after confirming his character in person, she’s relieved that the “old him” was back (but slightly disappointed that his other self is gone // she kind of found that side of him more interesting to observe)

he still knows how many personas she has under her disposal, but he isn’t going to snitch any time soon

GoMs together: (Teiko + present)

to not give away the fact that she shows different sides to everyone, when everyone gathers/is nearby, she (at least attempts to) becomes a wallflower to observe everyone and act appropriately in the situation if she’s ever addressed to in the group; her name will always come up in some shape or form so she’s prepared to present a neutral persona without throwing people off

since the GoMs all attend different schools, it’s easier for her to socially maneuver around, however she is still cautious when near crowds (before/after games) and groups of people (such as Touou’s team) because they tend to call her over (but she’ll smoothly pretend she didn’t hear/was preoccupied and she’ll slip away)

Haizaki: (Teiko + present)

dear god, she hoped not to ever directly interact with him

he was a morbidly interesting person to observe, from far away // she’s trying to comprehend how this one middle schooler is already so immoral and violent

he’s definitely tried to hit on her, but she smoothly slipped away before he did anything else

it was a never-ending game of weasel and snake; he fancied her because she was someone who was mysterious and “hard to get,” but she’s always slipping away because he was extremely annoying to converse with and she definitely doesn’t want to end up in a fist fight with this guy

this constant chasing was significantly quashed after Akashi ordered him to quit the team (who’s to say that Akashi hadn’t also noticed that Haizaki was trying to harass her? respect women juice)

Haizaki noticed her outside the stadium before his match with kaijo a year later; she was outside ready to enter in before he blocked her way, but after a lot of sugar coating and sidestepping to try to diffuse the situation (she fooled him by feigning interest in him using a slightly more flirtatious, sly persona), she escaped from his grasp once again // it agitated him and that’s why he continued to prowl around outside before he chanced upon Alex and Himuro

Imayoshi: (present)

this guy is an Akashi; he picked up on her multifaceted personality frighteningly fast

except that instead of being wary and observant of her like Akashi would, this guy openly makes passive-aggressive remarks referring to her personality; no one except her would understand his real intentions behind those comments (they inwardly scare and piss her off)

he also had the upperclassman advantages to openly talk to her very casually and harp on her (on the other hand, Akashi was a year younger than her), so he very much does every thing to get under her skin and rile her up

she employs a more sarcastic persona to match up with Imayoshi, but that just makes him more determine to break her facades; in the end, to keep her cool, she just settled for a default polite persona while still shooting occasional flippant responses at him

TLDR; this guy has the same hobby as she does in getting reactions out of people to study them, except Imayoshi is an actual psychic in deciphering people out; perhaps he’s even better at these things than her

Momoi unintentionally helps her out by always telling Imayoshi to “stop bothering her so much,” and all he does is a mock-surrender, replying cheerfully that it was all in good fun

he definitely makes her job harder by trying to be a smartass when she gives him instructions and lists in how to improve his mental acuity; she quickly shuts his attempts down, and he always calls her an “absolute killjoy”

while she knows it’s beneficial to observe an individual who has a similar hobby like herself to see and compare the similarities/differences, Imayoshi makes it really difficult because his keen senses plus her huge presence makes him able to pick her out most of the time

                     *she’s only able to safely observe him when he’s on the courts

                     *other times, she dutifully avoids him unless when she’s doing her job

are they friends? it’s hard to say; they act like they’re familiar with each other but it’s a love-hate relationship // she respects his intuition but she frowns on his personality (it’s the fact that he acts like he knows everything and she knows he also puts up a few “nice guy” facades of his own)

he’s probably the first guy to actually break through her personas completely and get her to snap and yell at him unabashedly one evening when they were walking to a nearby convenience store because he was tagging along (Momoi was with Aomine at the time)

                     *at that moment, she probably also gave Imayoshi a shock for his life for the first time outside of the games

                     *she coughed and went back to her polite persona like nothing happened and that just made him so much more amused

they’re frenemies and rivals, trying to outdo the other in poking each other mentally and out-acting the other

Sakurai: (present)

first impressions of this kid: she pities him a lot

sometimes, she says various things to see if he‘ll apologize just to see which trigger words get him in a sweat to say “sorry”

she’ll either be a *gentler* polite person or take on a more stern/serious side (used with Midorima and sometimes Murasakibara); the latter would be used to try to toughen the poor guy up mentally

increasing Sakurai’s cognitive acuity would be the most difficult considering the fact that (combined with Momoi’s data) there’s a direct relationship between his physical and mental stamina; if he’s extremely exhausted, his mental sharpness declines dramatically along with it

he’s not considered the sharpest tool in the shed, and his naiveté tends to show when he asks innocent questions about her and her life, and one day, this guy accidentally hit the nail on the head when he asked about her family out of curiosity, which was her touchiest subject

                     *she did have a moment of shock and took some time to recollect herself and deflect the subject elsewhere, but Sakurai picked her hesitance up as a sign of offense and spewed a plethora of apologies (to which she had to calm the boy down)

                     *from that point on, although still curious, he became a lot more observant and cautious of how she acts around other people (at first he was watching so he can learn how to not offend her and overstep his boundaries)

as time progresses (especially after their loss at the winter cup), and the more Sakurai just asks her about many things, she does loosen up around him; he does eventually bring up the topic of family (not necessarily hers, but his own) to try to encourage her to talk about her own

Sakurai would be the type of person to be uncharacteristically determined and blunt in particular situations with people whom he considers his friends: here, he would confront her and asked if she was alright and if things were going okay at home

                     *out of curiosity in where he got that confidence boost and respect for him being mentally stronger, she does open up slowly one topic/talk at a time spread out for the next few weeks

both of their different curiosities for each other would lead to them being close friends ´･ᴗ･` (she makes him a more self-assured person and he gives her time to be her true self [or at least develop one], and other than annoying her with his occasional sorry’s, he doesn’t overwhelm her with his presence)

[captkirkland]

Alright, so some Arthur Kirkland headcanons from me per @shithole-state’s request:

Arthur is genuinely such a complicated guy that it’s hard to really.. quantify him easily in words, I think. At times, he can seem like the complete antithesis of himself, and it’s not like he does that specifically on purpose, but there are certainly things he does do to throw people off about him.

Firstly, to me he’s.. a very small man. Like 5’4”-5’6”. Not that this is bad, but it makes his life even more complicated because people tended not to take him seriously when he was younger. It was a quick and harsh realization that he needed to harden himself against a sharp world that’d run him through if he didn’t.

Having grown up the way he did, the youngest of four brothers, who (in the canon I usually write from full of my own hcs,) had to deal with quite a lot of bullshit from them and his father during his upbringing. He looks more like Britannia than Celt of course, but that is for some very specific reasons. (Cough. The saxons being such a big part of early English history. Cough. Those were Germanic, not Celtic.) Often times I feel like he was the subject of bullying, considering those very early on English traumas, and I don’t really feel like he ever came across a genuine way to express himself. Emotionally, he’s stunted as hell, and he doesn’t preform in very healthy ways in regards to himself.. which.. y’know, eventually did come out in the way he treated others. He was a magic user, a witch, which obviously did not work very well with the sharp rise of Christianity, Catholicism, and Protestantism— and really that only made things so much worse.

I have a very specific view of how the personified nations behaved compared to how the governments of certain times did, because I absolutely believe that sometimes the countries, as their own people, did not agree with their bosses all the time! How could they? Their own people are getting hurt, the people of their friends, family. They are severely impacted by the wants of the people they represent, the land they call themselves— so of course they’d dissent. That comes out a lot in my specific canon with my friends a lot because we like to merge the 2Ps, Nyos, and even 2P Nyos into the canon verse to get a wider view of history. But, saying that, I fully believe that pirate Arthur specifically had a moment in time where he was.. literally a pirate. Against the East India Company, thieving, fighting, what have you. It was short lived, but he’d been a privateer and a sailor much longer, the literal pirate bit was towards the end when he started disagreeing hard with his own actions and the actions of his nation as a whole. I mean, how could a dude colonized to fuck and back very PERSONALLY entirely agree with that? But there was a part of his head that wanted land, wanted people in his “family.” It wasn’t right or okay, but at the start.. the idea of an empire didn’t seem so bad to him. It’d just be people in a family. Even if it’s a little hard, families are hard. Plus, it gave him such a rush and surge of power. What could be so bad about it? Which.. is the thought process that lead to a lot of self loathing during those lapses of (coined term with my friends) “country brain,” where he could make out what what going with those affected humans and what was actually happening. He started drinking then more than ever before, and it’s really never gone away.

He takes the harder roads of English history I think, out of some wish to keep Oliver from having to deal with that, believing he’s a touch more steeled than the other. Though, granted, it’s a thought in folly. A lot of his thoughts of himself are skewed, which really plays into how he behaves. He doesn’t care for people knowing his real feelings, hardening himself against prying eyes with an anger and a pissy face he’s had ever since his childhood. He hates the thought of being belittled and ruled, yet for a bit that’s what he did to people. He’s a hypocrite, and the worst part is that he knows it. He hates so much about himself, and yet even that twists himself because he has to carry himself highly. Nobody can hurt him if he does it first, and nobody can hurt him if he makes himself untouchable. So, he comes off narcisstic at times, probably because he is one after so many years. There’s so much going on in his head that’s unchecked, and he’s too prideful and staid in his ways to get it looked into on his own. Sometimes it all becomes too much though, and that’s when he has almost visceral breakdowns and has lapses in sanity (Britannia Angel, anyone?) before it all snaps back and he’s embarrassed about even carrying himself that way. These days he needs to have a more gentle nature outwardly, because that’s what’s been deemed as appropriate. He needs to be a gentleman in front of everyone, but especially both those he hurt, those who are afraid, or those who would judge him harshly if he didn’t. However, the facade is absolutely shatterable. There’s so many cracks in it sometimes that it confuses people sometimes about what kind of person he is. Dude had a huge one during the rock movement, which is incidentally where he gained back quite a bit of actual confidence in his own personal abilities, which is why I think his guitar is so damn important to him. But he also was partaking in quite a bit back then, the man has a real problem with addiction, but these days he’s cut back on mostly everything but smoking and drinking. unfortunately you can’t take the bottle out of his hand, or the music out of his head no matter what it sounds like! (sea SHANTIES) but all in all I find the man absolutely fascinating just because he is so diverse as a person on his own. This doesn’t even touch on the fact that he feels responsible for most of the world and is willing to absolutely lay down his life for the people he cares about either. There is just so much I could say about him, like he was a knight once! he loves high fantasy, he plays dnd! the list goes on, he’s such a complex person because the life he’s lead has been so— but at the end of the day he’s at home watching the bake off and doing needlework and I absolutely can’t stand him LOL

[jeanandthedreamofhorses]

Of Gods, Monsters, and Men

“Man is by nature a social animal [...] Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.” - Aristotle

This diagram will make sense, I swear.

Part 1 - Humans, Gods, and Beasts

Aristotle’s tripartite system is profoundly embedded in the world of SNK.

Humans, the social animals, are the ordinary people who do not seek to make an individual mark on history, but instead live communal existences as cogs in a machine. The most important thing to them is usually the well-being of themselves and their loved ones.

They are considered weak as they do not struggle against the flow, but these very attributes are what make them human.

The vast majority of the human race fit into Aristotle’s definition of ‘social animals’, as that is the only way in which society can function. The existence of those ordinary humans, then, is worth preserving.

Those who are not social animals, but rather lead highly individual existences with the power to leave their own unique mark on the world, are Gods when viewed positively and Beasts when viewed negatively. Because they go against the flow and disrupt the status quo, they are demonised by those happy with that status quo and lionised by those who are not. In either scenario, they stand out from the crowd.

Gods are considered to be strong and special. 

The apex of this specialness is symbolised in the series through its pseudo-Gods, like Ymir Fritz, and those with godlike powers like the Ackermans and titan shifters, especially Zeke and Eren.

The entirety of the Eldian race, by virtue of the power to turn into titans, can also be considered special and so are lionised as gods by the Eldian nationalists.

However, they are considered Beasts by the rest of the world because of that same uniqueness. The apex of beastliness in the series is in the titans themselves, the ultimate ‘Other’. Nothing can be as estranged from the human social community as they are, as uniquely disgusting, uniquely powerful creatures.

With this tripartite system established, however, the series deliberately complicates all three of its boundaries. To begin with, let us examine the disintegration of the boundary between Beasts and Gods.

Part 2 - The ‘Other’

Beasts and Gods are ultimately the same thing - they are an ‘Other’, defined by their lack of dependence on their community and, consequently, their status outside of it. This separate status makes them an unsocial animal, and therefore, not human. Whether this inhumanity is a good thing or a bad thing - godly or beastly - is only a matter of perspective.

There is no better proof of this than the personage of Eren Jaeger. 

From the start, Eren has had no desire to be a ‘social animal’. He never catered to the opinion of the populace, and held them in outright contempt. 

He wanted to accomplish everything on his own, without relying on others.

He stuck to his dream of joining the Survey Corps no matter what anyone said, and won people round to his views instead of struggling to fit theirs.

Acting this way gained Eren a reputation as either a total idiot, as in Jean’s eyes, or as an example to be followed, as Connie, Sasha and the others saw him. When Eren’s titan power was unveiled, this dichotomy escalated: where Erwin saw humanity’s greatest hope, the Military Police saw an enormous threat to peace inside the walls.

He is seen as a beast or a god, but even before his titan powers were revealed, he would never let himself be considered a nobody. The values he nurtured - independence and the strength to go against the present flow - were part of his desire to become inhuman.

It is therefore thematically appropriate that someone so fixated on the inhuman should become a titan. In his efforts to become a god, he becomes the beast he sought to vanquish. For they are one and the same - and this goes for the titans, too. Their status as an Other, not merely as a beast, is what makes them the natural enemy of humanity.

Moral doctrines that try to sort beasts from gods and drive a hard wedge between them only serve to obscure the truth. 

The Church of the Walls is the best example of this exercise in futility. It reviles the titans as beasts and worships the Walls as gods for protecting them against such beasts - but the Walls themselves are titans too. The distinction between beasts and gods is thereby revealed as nothing more than a sham by the authors of public morality to keep the public in line. Indeed, how often is it the case that the devil of the new religion is the god of the old?

Like the Church of the Walls, both those who respect and revile Eren in the Final Arc observe the same truth about him in different lights: he is an Other. And they fight to the death to decide what kind of Other - a god, or a devil:

A murderer, or a messiah:

Gentle, or savage:

The fandom is no less divided over him than the characters are, each side assured of their rightness. He is either an incorrigible child or an enlightened superhuman, the most free or the most enslaved, unchanged or the most changed of all, a pit to be avoid or a height to which we might aspire. Eren is the circle that completes itself, both the best and the worst, a beast and a god. But whatever he is, he is nothing in between, nothing mediocre. He occupies extremes alone: that is what makes him special.

Eren is fundamental proof of the failure of our value systems. He is a thought experiment who manages to sit at both ends of the spectrum while neglecting the middle altogether. At this point, we may return to our diagram.

A horseshoe works much better than a straight line for our purposes. Eren sits between god and beast, good and evil, special and titan, but a world away from the multitude of humans at the centre of the horseshoe.

However, he was not always this way. His compulsion to move away from the herd is the same as ever, and that is likely what he means when he tells people he has never changed: but there was once a time when for all his efforts, he could not quite escape being a social animal.

The significance of this fact is monumental. Eren proves that the special and the human are not distinguished from birth, but that there is in fact a pathway between them. This leads us to our third part: the disintegration of the boundary between the Human and the Other.

Part 3 - The Philosopher

Like love, specialness is something you find when you’re not looking for it. Eren’s journey towards the special first began with his acceptance of his own normality.

Beforehand, behind his play at independence he longed for recognition and approval from others.

He was tired of never being taken seriously - by his neighbourhood bullies, by Mikasa, by Jean. They all dismissed him as either crazy or weak and in need of protection. He was so prone to flying out in a rage at this because they touched on his greatest insecurities - that he was really a nobody after all, and that he’d never amount to anything.

In this regard Eren had a great deal in common with Keith, who wanted above all else to prove that he was better than the rest and worthy of being admired.

This was why Keith’s story had such a big impact on Eren, and why it was placed at the end of the arc where he learns to accept being only human. One cannot become special for the sake of the approval of others. So long as you have that objective in mind, you will never be anything more than a social animal and therefore human.

It was only once Keith abandoned any hopes of being seen as special that he actually became so, when he committed the ultimate sacrifice away from the eyes of anyone living. He acted with his own conviction in his heart, and not the approval of anyone else.

So he can finally receive the title of hero - one he clearly did not expect to hear. And it is a compliment he extends to Magath, no longer feeling the need to raise himself above anyone else.

In Eren’s case, he first learned the true virtue of self-sufficiency in the crystal cave, where he saved his friends’ lives by choosing to trust in his judgement and power over everyone else’s.

Eren is shocked after his success, and the lesson does not fully sink in at first. But such sentiments as the one below...

...quickly evaporate in Eren’s next moral trial, the Serumbowl. He can no longer accept peaceful co-existence between people with different beliefs because their decisions directly threaten the lives of the people he loves. This is the moment he redirects his focus to the protection of his and his own, and in doing so renounces his care for the wider world. The revelation that he will crush that outside world into ashes reinforces his belief in this conviction as the only solution.

Thereon out, Eren embraces self-sufficiency. He chooses not to trust in his comrades and builds his power to the point that he no longer needs to take orders from anyone else. Any help he does employ - from the SC or from Zeke and his followers - is achieved through manipulation, where he is firmly in control.

He becomes self-sufficient to the extent that he even moulds the conditions of his own upbringing. It cannot be said that he is a social animal any longer. His independence allows him to surpass his humanity and become both beast and god - walking on heavenly planes in the one moment and rampaging as a skeletal monstrosity the next.

Eren passes from ordinary into special through his self-sufficiency and self-orientation. This rigid self-discipline, this self-transformation, is a practice which we might call - philosophy.

Eren?

A philosopher???

Yet this is the only way a human might become a beast or god. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, whose works synchronise beautifully with SNK, added one crucial modification to Aristotle’s equation:

“To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both - a philosopher.”

And when one really thinks about it, is the idea of Eren as philosopher so ridiculous? Summarising a philosopher as ‘one who seeks the truth’ - who has accessed more of the truth of the world than Eren? The Attack and Founding Titans give him access to literal worlds of understanding beyond the scope of any other. And although Eren is dense at the start, he grows increasingly introverted and soul-searching as the series progresses. I think it is by no means a stretch to claim that Eren has come into his own jaded sort of wisdom.

Furthermore, Eren’s restless striving for freedom, his ‘Will to Power’ in Nietzsche’s words, is so powerful that he became stronger than Mikasa could ever hope to be and hatched a plan that even Armin couldn’t predict. It is his force of will that has always allowed Eren to overcome his weaknesses. So too psychologically - his wanderlust has taken him beyond the pale of morality and so made him the series’ only real philosopher in Nietzsche’s sense of the word, as a creator of new values.

It is the drive for freedom, then, that can turn a human into a philosopher and by that means become special. The divide is that simple, that fragile. And so the monstrous Other is simply human: all too human.

Eren’s words to Ymir Fritz are the definitive illustration of this theme. Ymir, who possesses the heights of power as a pseudo-divinity, who lacks a shred of power as a slave, manages to still be human. What unites all three aspects, what allows them to co-exist, is that freedom to choose. The drive for freedom that turned Eren philosopher is what allows humans to roam into the territory of beasts and gods.

So, rather than a horseshoe, this process is best represented as a fishhook, where a pathway exists between the opposite ends of Human and Other. Through philosophy, through the discarding and creation of values, through the drive for freedom and the Will to Power, this gap can be bridged.

It is at this point we come back to the words of Eren Kruger, and consider the full weight of their meaning:

Whether an Other is a god or a beast is merely a matter of perspective - but so is the ability to become an Other in the first place. The titans of history, its movers and shakers, were not a species above and beyond. They were anyone, as human as you and me, only ones who embraced their freedom and made a courageous choice.

This is the purpose of the titans being revealed as humans. This is the purpose of the whole concept of titan shifting, where even such social animals as Reiner and Annie are elevated to the level of the special. This is the reason why mere humans are able to successfully combat the titan Others through their own skill and ingenuity. This is why our heroes possess such manifold weaknesses and flaws, to remind us that even people as average as Eren, as scrawny as Armin, and as cowardly as Jean were able to become special by choosing the Survey Corps - that is to say, by choosing freedom.

The world we inhabit is a sordid one. It’s sickening seeing the levels of cowardice people exhibit in all aspects of their lives. “I would help you, but...I would stand up to them, but...I would do something about it, but...” etc, etc, and people make excuses to run away from their problems every time. It’s enough to hate the world and everyone in it.

The message SNK delivers is able to restore this dwindling faith. Because no matter how disgusting human behaviour can be sometimes, in others and in ourselves, within every single human is the potential to become as beautiful as the characters we admire - to become someone special. A little bit of courage is all it takes.

That, to me, is what makes humanity worth something. Because it is through that metamorphosis into the special that we fulfil our function as human beings: creatures which have the choice to remain within their humanity or transcend it. Just possessing that potential is enough to make humanity a gorgeous species - and so, before accomplishing anything, Carla could value Eren simply for being born into this world. He doesn’t have to be better than anyone else, because it is a power we all possess.

This human potential to become both god and beast is what prevents the world from boring us to death. The beasts make it cruel, and the gods make it beautiful. And with gods and beasts being one and the same, there can be no world that is beautiful without cruelty, or cruel without beauty.

[ficsilike-reblogged]

Blood in the Rivers: II

A/N: A shorter chapter this time, as I’ve been told putting 13.4k into a single chapter is a little overwhelming. My bad! Thank you for all the kind words for chapter one. I hope you all continue to like this story. 

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x Ellaria Sand x F!Reader (Tully)

Rating: M for canon typical violence, canon typical sexism, and some soft touching. Sometimes people just need to be cuddled, okay?

Word Count: 4.5k

Read Chapter One Here!

Chapter Two: The Perils of a Royal Wedding

Y/N had been correct. The Lannisters were the ones to note her absence and demand she remain within their sights. It was easy to explain her absence away, she had wanted to partake in the festivities—a wide-eyed look of innocence had them believing it. She danced with Tommen, a happy, skipping thing that had them both giggling to the annoyance of everyone around them. More wine filled her chalice and she wondered if Joffrey had even asked his wife to dance. 

Shouldn’t everyone dance at their own wedding? For now, she watched Tommen dance with his aunt Genna and plied herself with berries.

She noticed Ellaria and Oberyn settle at a table nearer the newly wedded couple and Ellaria, knowing Y/N was looking, fed Oberyn berries, pressing them into his mouth with a smirk that he mirrored as he sucked them from her fingers.

She fidgeted in her chair, a now-familiar stirring in her stomach, and drained the rest of the wine from her chalice, grateful when Tyrion quickly noticed and made sure it was refilled. But it was then that she noticed the guilty look on the dwarf’s face as he looked at her.

“Lord Tyrion, what ails you? Have I done something to offend?”

His smile was weak and he took a large gulp of his own wine. “No, my lady. You have done nothing wrong.” And, even though it was murmured into his cup, she heard him say, “and that is your curse.”

But then Loras appeared at their table again, happy and out of breath, before asking her for another dance. She accepted, throwing a glance toward Tyrion who waved her on, and let Loras lead her back toward the dancing couples. When Oberyn and Ellaria stepped to their sides and the dance was announced, she had to admire the Tyrell’s plan. The dance called for two couples, the pairings would switch frequently, alternating partners and steps, and allowed each of the participants to hold the others close. The dance had originated in Dorne a generation ago, and had once been deemed inappropriate for allowing same-sex dancing partners, but had eventually made its way into polite company. Loras seemed to know how audacious the plan was and beamed with a proud smile when she quirked an eyebrow. Ellaria laughed beside them, seeing the exchange, and Oberyn pulled her close for a kiss but his eyes were on Y/N. The music started Y/N let Loras pull her close for a few steps before they all stepped back and the four joined hands, moving about in a circle for a turn and then the couples changed. Ellaria greedily grabbed at her hands and hauled her close with sparkling eyes, leading her through the steps with ease.

“You know a Dornish dance.”

“I do. This is one of my favorites.”

Ellaria hummed as they turned, skirts twisting together in a wave of orange and yellow. “I shall teach you another.”

Heat curled in her stomach at the implication but she wanted it. Desperately. “I would be a faithful student.”

The music indicated that they rejoin hands and circle again. Loras squeezed her hand when they touched and shook his curls like he was moving them out of his eyes but really drawing her attention to the head table where Tywin and Cersei were staring at them. She squeezed his hand back in thanks and felt the smile she had been wearing die. Another turn with the four of them joined and the next partnering came and Oberyn swept her into his arms like he had done it a thousand times before, pulling her closer than the steps deemed necessary.

“Your bird is thriving,” he whispered in her ear. “Happy.”

Y/N didn’t respond aside from tightening her grip on his hand.

“But she worries for you a great deal.”

“Great reward comes with great risk. She will learn this.”

“Your life is precious. Whatever game you think you are playing, you do not know if you will win.”

He was right. The impending arrangement the Lannisters were planning was hanging over her head and she knew her place as a trusted loyalist could easily be snapped. But she had already entrusted too much with him and Dorne. 

Asking him for more would be selfish.

“I would see you safe.”

“As I would see you, my prince.”

He opened his mouth to say something else when the crescendo of the song started and they were forced to part, retreating back to their original coupling to finish the dance.

“You look troubled, my lady,” Loras whispered.

“I think I am.” The dance ended in Loras’ arms and he started to lead her back toward her table when Tywin Lannister stepped into their path. “My lord, are you enjoying the festivities?” Pressing a smile to her face was easy and she tried to not tighten her grip on Loras’ arm in an attempt for comfort. “I have never seen such splendor.”

Tywin smirked and glanced at Loras before focusing his gaze back on her. “I’m glad you’ve found some enjoyment, Lady Tully. Join me for a dance.” It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t an offer. And when he held out his hand toward her, she knew she would have to take it.

She looked at the hand offered to her and then cast a glance at Oberyn and Ellaria, as they settled at their table. She couldn’t help it. She knew what Oberyn and all of Dorne thought of Tywin Lannister. She wouldn’t add to their betrayal or heartache. Oberyn looked ready to leap from his seat but Ellaria had set a hand over his arm and quickly schooled her features into a forced smile before giving a curt nod.

Y/N mirrored her expression and set her hand in Tywin’s as she stepped away from Loras’ side and let herself be drawn back among the other dancing couples as the music started, slow and soft. It would have been romantic with anyone else. The older man was a graceful dancer, she had to admit, as he led her through the familiar steps of a dance she had learned as a child. He was looking down at her, she knew, as she made the top button of his surcoat her sole focus. She wouldn’t and couldn’t look at him. But his dulled scent of leather and clove was cloying at her nose.

“Do you make it a habit of avoiding eye contact with whomever you dance with?”

Y/N suppressed an eye roll and granted him a single, short look. “I apologize, my lord. I am simply trying to remember the steps so I do not step on your foot.” A simple lie.

“Did you not practice as a child?”

“I did, my lord. Far more than necessary, I assume. But this dance was not a favorite of my septa. I do hope you do not fault me for it.” Another lie.

“Yes,” Tywin said. “I suppose you did have an unusual upbringing.” He stepped back and spun her under his arm just as the other couples did the same. “I could teach you.”

Y/N nearly choked on her next breath and missed a step, her toe colliding with the side of his boot. “M-my lord?”

“You are a young, beautiful, highborn lady. You should know to dance—properly. Not those dances I know they’re fond of in Dorne. Vulgar displays.”

Her throat was tightening, stopping air from moving in or out. “I…I quite like the Dornish dances. I think they’re lovely.”

“Do you know those steps, Lady Tully? Perhaps you could enlighten me to their beauty.” The words had a strange lift to them and his grip tightened on her hand, the other curling around her waist just a fraction more.

“My lord,” she dropped her voice to a whisper to avoid him hearing the tremble she knew was growing, “that is hardly appropriate.”

“It does not have to be inappropriate. You could be Lady of Casterly Rock. You would be more powerful than Margaery and worshipped by all of the Seven Kingdoms.”

Y/N would swear her heart stopped. Was this his plan? Was he suggesting-

“And what of the Riverlands? I thought-”

“Your second son would rule the Riverlands. Your first, however,” he dipped his head closer to her ear, “would be my heir.”

The song ended and everyone else clapped, crowd moving—finding new partners, refilling wine. But Y/N could only pull her hands away from Tywin as her tongue felt like lead in her mouth. “A gracious offer, to be sure.”

“And what is your answer?”

“Lady Tully!” Y/N nearly collapsed as she heard Margaery call out for her.

“Please, excuse me, my lord.” She curtseyed, and then turned toward the head table. There was a strange buzzing between her ears as she made her way through the crowd. She barely gave it a second thought to see the knight-turned-fool Dontos waiting in the bushes as she passed. She curtseyed again in front of Joffrey and Margaery. “Yes, Your Grace?”

The new queen smiled up at her and grasped at her hands. “I-”

There was a sudden, familiar sound behind her, pulling her attention for just a moment before something pinched at her back and chest.

Margaery screamed.

The bolt was protruding from her shoulder like a terrible, blackened limb.  Margaery looked up at her with wide eyes as she felt the metallic tang of blood bubble over her tongue. She touched it—just once—as if not entirely believing she had been shot. The answering, near-crippling shock proved her otherwise. 

There was screaming—so much screaming and she could not discern one word from the other.

Someone called out her name as she doubled over onto her knees. Shaking fingers grasped the silver arrowhead and, with a strangled sort of groan, she pulled the rest of the arrow through, briefly wondering at the strange sensation of the fletching catching on her flesh. Warmth bloomed across her chest. It took her several moments to realize it was blood.

Bloodied palms slapped against the stones beneath her, keeping her from collapsing completely.

“The King!” Someone shouted. “The King!”

There was more screaming, panicked and screeching and turning into a howling cacophony in her swirling mind. She hardly noticed when someone ran to her side and grasped her face with gentle hands, trying to get her to move, to say something, to do anything. Pain grew and blossomed with every frantic beat of her heart but she could do precious little, her limbs feeling like stone. Even her eyes refused to move from where they were trained on the stone, watching, almost disinterestedly the blood start to pool beneath her fingers. 

Someone was pressing at her wound, trying to staunch the bleeding with little success. “Stay with me, stay awake.”

She lifted her head, a labored effort, and could only see the dark eyes staring back at her and then the world turned dark.

                                                        **

Olenna was sitting on the edge of her bed when she woke. The woman’s face was drawn tight with some strange emotion as she stared out into the small patch of sky visible from the chamber windows.

“My lady?” Y/N’s voice caught in her throat, dry and scratching. Pain shot through her body as she tried to lift herself up to sitting.

Olenna turned to face her, a small smile touching her mouth. “Ah, Little Fish. You finally wake.” She walked to the door and called out for the maester before helping Y/N to sit and put another pillow at her back. “Do you need more Milk of the Poppy?”

“What happened, Olenna? Tell me.” The pain was increasing with each beat of her heart but she needed to know—needed to understand.

Olenna sighed and stood straight. “It was never meant to be you, child. I want you to know that.”

“I-I-I don’t understand. And of Joffrey? What-”

The door to her chamber opened and a maester walked in, a small bowl of something in his weathered hands. Without prompting, he held it to Y/N’s lips and forced the viscous liquid into her mouth. The bitter taste was a familiar one—Milk of the Poppy. She coughed and nearly retched with how much he was pushing down her throat but sank into the pillows, mind already swimming, as he finished. “I just have to check your wrappings, my lady. To prevent infection.”

Y/N’s eyes were swimming, unfocused, as she tried to find Olenna again. “Stay,” she said, although her tongue felt too big for her mouth. “Tell me. What happened.”

“You were valiant, my lady,” the maester said as he pulled down the shoulder of her chemise. “But you were not able to save His Grace, King Joffrey. “

Her head lulled to the side on her pillows to find Olenna looking at her almost worriedly. “Dead?”

“Yes, Little Fish. He’s dead.”

“Oh.”

And then darkness swept over her like a raven’s wing.

                                                        **

The realm between dream and waking was a constant companion for the next handful of days, each one swimming into the next without much fanfare in the small haven of her chambers. The only time she had spent out of doors was when she was requested to attend the gathering of nobility for a time of prayer over the body of the slain king, and she could only stand upright for a few minutes before she was allowed to leave. She hardly remembered any of the ceremony. The maester came and went, cleaning her wound and wrappings without much fanfare.    “I need a bath, Daisy,” she murmured. Her feet felt foreign as they touched the stone of the floor of her bedroom. “I can smell myself. It isn’t pleasant.” 

The frazzled form of Daisy quickly set out to have a basin dragged in and filled with near-boiling water. She followed it with floral soaps and then helped her lady undress and slowly lower into the water. Y/N groaned as the water rose around her, already feeling more human. But her head lulled as if it felt too heavy on her neck and the room spun for a moment.

“Is the temperature too hot, my lady?” Daisy asked as she started to soak a cloth in the water.

“It is perfect, Daisy. You are too kind to me.”

Daisy smiled and opened her mouth to reply when there was a knock at the door. Y/N curled her knees up to her chest for a semblance of modesty under the milk-colored water. The knock came again.

“Come back later!” Daisy hollered.

And the door opened.

Daisy screeched and stepped in front of Y/N’s tub to shield her from the intruders, yelling about sending for the guards and Y/N, still hazy from the Poppy, leaned forward just enough to see Prince Oberyn and Ellaria standing in her chambers. A shock of orange was seen in front of the door before it closed. 

“Our guards are standing watch. I assure you that Lady Tully is well protected,” Oberyn said with an easy smile. 

Ellaria draped herself in a nearby chair with a smile of her own. “How are you feeling, my lady?”

“She is indecent,” Daisy nearly growled.

“It is fine, Daisy. They are friends and I cannot bring myself to care at the moment.”

Daisy’s brow furrowed as she turned to look at Y/N. “Do you need water, my lady? Food?” A gentle hand pressed against her cheek, checking her temperature. “If you feel faint I can call the maester again.”

Y/N smiled, knowing it probably looked crooked on her lips, and shook her head. “I am on the mend, Daisy. Thanks to your care. But, I promise you, I am in no danger with them.”

Daisy sighed and nodded. “I shall bring you fresh linens, then, for your bed.”

Y/N thanked her and Daisy quickly stripped the bed before leaving the chambers, leaving her alone with Oberyn and Ellaria.

“They have addled your mind with Milk of the Poppy.” The observation from Oberyn only earned a nod in return. “You will not feel yourself for a while longer.”

Another nod.

Ellaria stood and poked her head out the door, murmuring something to one of the guards before closing it again. She settled near the tub and grabbed the cloths Daisy had soaked and began to slide the cloth along Y/N’s arms and over her uninjured shoulder, the soaped water refreshing and hot. Y/N relaxed under her care and reclined against the back of the tub, uncaring that her breasts were starting to crest the water’s edge.

“You were kept from us for days. Oberyn said you were whisked away during prayers,” Ellaria whispered as she dipped the cloth under the water to wipe against her stomach. “We worried.”

Y/N smiled and moved to press her cheek against the warm lip of the tub. “I am sorry you were worried. I would have let you in, if I had known.”

The cloth slid up her stomach to wipe across her left breast and then the right, taking care to avoid the wrappings hiding her ugly stitches. And Y/N could not help the hitch in her breath as Ellaria seemed to take special care to make sure she was clean. She looked up at her: dark hair loose and lovely, like waves crashing in the dark, and simply watched her as she worked. There, of course, was an undercurrent of something more to it, but perhaps that was just Ellaria. Just who she was and why almost everyone was so taken with her on sight. But she knew Ellaria meant to help, too. To wash away the bitterness of the past few days.

A knock on the door had Ellaria turning toward Oberyn. “Would you answer that, my love?”

Oberyn, the prince, did as he was bid and opened the door only a fraction and spoke softly to whomever was on the other side before being handed something and closing the door again as they left. He carefully unwrapped the linen bundle to reveal a collection of small vials.

“Come,” Ellaria said softly to him, her hands pausing in their ministrations.

“Unlike you, my love, I have not been given permission to hold her as you do. I would not overstep, especially with her in such a state.”

Y/N’s addled mind was coherent enough to understand what he was saying and pivoted just enough to look at him. The entire scenario should have never happened, if she was being honest. Her nakedness had always been something she’d been told was to be avoided, discouraged, even. And now she was in the company of a man she was not married to and a woman who was not her maid—it reeked of scandal if anyone happened upon them. But she couldn’t bring herself care. She lifted an arm from the water and held it out, dripping onto the stone with a steady beat. “You have my permission, my prince. You always have my permission.” She crooked a finger at him before needing to curl a little further into the tub as the room spun.

He smiled and closed the space between them and he settled on the other side of the basin and let Ellaria pull the small collection of vials from his grasp. Y/N watched as Ellaria emptied one and then two of the vials into the water and gently swirl it around. The scent of roses and blood oranges filled her nose and pulled a smile from her tired lips.

“Lean forward for me,” Ellaria softly asked and Y/N did as she was told, nearly jumping as Ellaria poured water over her hair. Something was said to Oberyn as the water distorted her hearing but she didn’t mind.

Y/N closed her eyes as Ellaria began her careful ministrations again and she heard the sound of another vial being uncorked. Another set of hands gently started to massage her scalp and it took her far too long to realize that it was Oberyn. Her hazy eyes opened again to see him smiling as he worked through her hair, filling the room with the scent of more roses, decadent and heady. Again, his touch was gentle and he was careful as he moved her head this way or that so he could make sure he had completed his task. He had rolled the sleeves of his tunic up to his elbows and his outer robe had been discarded, draped across the window seat behind him. The entire situation finally made a giggle fall from her lips. 

“What is so funny?” Oberyn asked with a smile of his own. He cupped his hands and brought a bit of water over her hair, starting to rinse it.

“A prince is washing my hair.” She laughed again and dipped her head back to help him.

“A prince serves his people, my lady.” His voice was soft. “And it is an honor to be of service to you.”

Something bloomed in her chest then, as she looked into his dark eyes and watched him smile. It felt soft and comforting and all-encompassing all at once. It felt, as strange as it was, like home. And when Ellaria pressed a kiss to her rose-scented skin, she knew it wasn’t strange at all.

“Your water grows cold. We must get you dry.”

Before she could even think to try to stand, Oberyn hand plunged his hands into the water and wrapped an arm around her back and the other just below her knees and helped her to her feet outside the bath. And now she had no water nor suds of soap to disguise her nakedness from him. Water slipped down her clean, perfumed skin in rivulets as he held her steady, soaking the ends of his tunic sleeves. His gaze could have wandered. Could have taken in her body as no man has ever done before. But he kept his eyes on hers and remained careful and gentle as Ellaria found her a new chemise and dressing robe and they each helped her dry and into the clean clothes to avoid further injury.

The poppy had continued to retreat, leaving her now in just a comfortable haze and she settled atop the stool in front of her small, mirrored vanity as Ellaria pulled yet another jar from somewhere and opened it to reveal a bit of pink paste she started to massage into Y/N’s hands. “You have both been very kind to me. I do not know what I have done or said to earn such care.”

“You are kind to us. We are kind to our friends.”

“Is that what I am?” She asked with a laugh. “A friend?”

Ellaria set down the jar, finished, and nuzzled her nose under Y/N’s jaw. Careful hands swept around her sides to hold her just under her breasts. “We can be more when you are well again.”

“I feel like I am more to you now. I have never been held so softly.” The words were true and she never would have spoken them if her mind had been entirely clear. But oh, how she reveled in the touch.

Ellaria smiled against the side of her throat. “I would like to hold you for as long as you would let me.” But then she stood straight, touch slowly receding, and looked at Oberyn with a playful smile. “Come, my love. She is soft to touch. You have been wanting to hold her since her third letter arrived.”

Oberyn chuckled. “It was her first, actually.” He stepped closer. “That first curl of ink had pulled me into its depths and I knew I’d never be able to recover.” And soon he was at her back. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the small bit of skin exposed where her neck met her uninjured shoulder. Y/N shivered and he trailed his fingers down her back. “You have bewitched me, my lady.”

Y/N could only smile up at him in the reflection of her mirror.

His hand curled under her chin and he tilted her face up so he could look at her properly. Dark eyes seemed to drink in her soft, tired features before he slowly, ever so slowly, leaned down to press his lips to hers. It was soft and gentle and still curled her toes into the silk rug beneath her feet. The simple touch left her panting as he pulled back. His thumb pressed against her bottom lip and he smiled again. “I knew you would taste sweet.”

There was a rapid knocking at the door and Ellaria pulled it open, letting a flustered Daisy in, her arms laden with clean linens for the bed. “The Dornishmen guarding the door are quite scary, you know,” she murmured, casting a glance at Oberyn before hurrying to the bed to start her task.

“They are for her protection.”

“Yes, but I am her maid, Prince Oberyn.”

“Daisy,” Y/N managed to say, her mind buzzing for more than one reason. “Please.”

Daisy huffed and shook her head but said nothing else, pulling the linens a little tighter than necessary across the featherbed.

“We must go,” Ellaria said as she stepped to Y/N’s side again and pressed a slow kiss to the side of her mouth. “When you are able, tell one of the men at the door. They will lead you to us.”

“Must you leave?” Y/N asked. She reached out to grasp one of Ellaria’s hands but stopped as pain racked her body, pulling at the wound in her shoulder.

“We have been far too selfish with you today already. You need rest. True rest without the Poppy pulling you into darkness. We are not leaving the capital until this is finished.”

She should have asked what they meant. What they needed to finish. But Oberyn had pulled a silk scarf, black and stitched with yellow suns, from the folds of his robe and he gently tied it about her neck and then slipped her arm into it. “This will keep you still, help you to heal.”

The scarf smelled like him, of spice and sandalwood and warmth. Y/N stood and curtseyed, a little off balance with the sling, but Oberyn bowed just the same before taking her other hand and pressing a kiss to the pads of her fingers, taking a deep breath in through his nose to fill his lungs with her scent.

“Until we meet again, my lady.”

A/N: Well, there’s part two. There is a plot developing. I am thinking this entire story will be about eight chapters. What do you all think? I’d love to hear what you’d like to see, and what you hope happens. Thank you for reading. Also, if you’d like to be tagged, I’d be happy to do so. I’ve never done it before but I’d be happy to try! xx

[sunwisecircle]

Hwaet

The other day I was feeling kind of poorly because I kept seeing all these posts about feeling drawn to this or that deity, or the Theoi ‘showing up’ in people’s lives. (Or: how I realized Dionysos is encouraging my unterwürfiges ass to be assertive, a post)

I don’t know as I ever felt ‘drawn’ to Dionysos. I had a fascination with Mercury when I was in middle school, part of my twisty-turny religious history, which I now equate to Hermes having always been around in one form or another. I read mythology a lot as a kid -- my father had a copy of Bullfinch that I carried around in my backpack for ages and I was obsessed with the Roman Empire for part of elementary school, and I had learned that the Greek and Roman gods were the same so while I know differently now, I look at the Mercury/Hermes thing in the context of that background. I thought the mythology was cool. I referenced Bacchus on a regular basis as a certified wine aunt. But Dionysos didn’t just show up in my life when I decided I wanted to worship. Hermes didn’t just show up.

It made me feel bad, and I wondered if I was doing something wrong because the Theoi didn’t and haven’t ever come to me. I’ve never had a dream in which they reveal themselves to me. I’ve never had a moment of ‘oh, this deity is calling to me’ or ‘that deity is interested in working with me’. I never even followed the advice I saw of doing research before introducing yourself to a deity, doing the introduction, then asking their permission to worship them & waiting for their assent before doing so -- and if they say no, then that’s that (that last will never not be confusing to me they are deities they are literally there to be worshipped why do I need to ask their permission to do so but go off I guess???).

But the more I thought about it, the more it only makes sense. Of course the Theoi didn’t ‘show up’ in my life. Of course they didn’t show interest in me, or send me dreams, or whatever. Given the course of my life, that would not have made sense.

When I was 19 I left my parents’ house because I wasn’t going to let them dictate my future when I had to pay for everything. I made the choice. When I was twenty-one and my ex (may he rot) left me, I made the choice never to put my life on hold for anyone ever again. I chose my university. I chose my major. I made a 13-year plan to reach a set of goals (two more years on that and I only have three more goals to reach, two of which I am currently in the middle of, so looks like I’m right on track). I moved to another country by myself with €900, two suitcases, and a backpack when I was 25 to make a life for myself. I made choice after choice, and didn’t wait for anyone to give me permission to live my life how I wanted to. I’m not even the type of person that waited for other people to make the first move. If I had a crush on someone, I’d walk up to them and tell them as much. (I literally once walked up to a guy I liked and told him he should ask me out for coffee).

How would it make any sense for the gods to come to me instead of the other way around. When I got sick of worshipping a god who hated me, I decided on Dionysos. I walked up and said ‘Hi. I like you. We should be friends.’ and that was that. Once I learned more, I’ll admit to having had fear of approaching the other Theoi the same way because I’d seen so much about them coming to people instead of the other way around, and I was afraid the first time I prayed to Hermes before travelling because I didn’t know him and he hadn’t made himself known to me yet and what if it was rude and and and. After that first time... I’m still fearful, of course, but I think that’s more owing to my upbringing and religious trauma than anything else. I don’t wait for the Theoi to come into my life. Dionysos didn’t show up; Hermes didn’t show up. I showed up to them. I walked up to Apollon and gave him my term paper about Old English poetry, and bought him some orange-coloured candles. I told Hermes this next term paper about late Latin language change is for him (Hey, I am making this thing and I want to give it to you as a gift). My thesis -- the topic of which I still don’t know -- is for Dionysos. He knows this. I told him as much. I gave Hestia my lava lamp since I turn it on every evening before I say my prayers and turn it off when I go to sleep. I went to The Trees and poured a general round of libations for the Twelve Above, Those Below, and Anyone Who Wishes to Partake.

None of which is to say that I’m particularly assertive, because the gods above and below know I am not. I have certainly been manipulated into doing things I didn’t want to do, and ended up in situations that were bad for me because I am the world’s most submissive submissive. It may be the autism. Or the authoritarian upbringing. Maybe both. Probably both.

My beloved lord Dionysos knows this about me, which I think is part of the reason that he has never been anything but gentle with me. Even when he gave me directions to do something, he never got angry with me when I was scared to do so. Right after I announced to him that we should be friends, he was on me to get rid of a toxic relationship in my life and I pushed it off for weeks because that would require me to be forceful. The prodding I got. The poking. The ‘Hon. Come on. You know you need to’. So I did. I’d wanted to for years, but he helped me find the courage to do so.

He’s always been very much about consent. Do I want something. Am I sure I want to worship him. Do I know my goals. What do i want out of a relationship with him.

Then lately when I ask him questions I’ve been getting ‘maybe’ cards. Almost like he’s saying ‘What do you think?’. (Which isn’t to say that he doesn’t give me straight answers about important things. He’ll point me in a direction if I need it. If I ask him about an offering and he’s not a fan, he’ll give me a definitive no; or if I’m doing poorly and just need reassurance he’ll definitely give it to me.) (Ffs he is so good to me fakjlafdskjlöadfsjköfas I can’t.) I usually ask him if he has time to chat with me before doing a tarot reading. Once he said no, but I really needed to talk to him so I told him as much. He then said yes. I said thank you and told him I love him after. I told him once that I wanted his advice on something, and when he gave me a ‘well, what do you think?’ I told him I know what I think, but that he’s my god and the giver of good counsel and I wanted his input before I did anything. He gave it to me. I told him thank you, that I love him, and took his advice in consideration.

And then it hit me. I am not used to asking for what I want. I am not used to giving my opinion. I am not used to setting boundaries, or saying no. And this absolute amazing deity, a literal fucking god, is out here getting me to practice with him. It’s like he looked at me and said ‘You remember how you just came up to me one day? That energy? I like that. Let’s keep that, shall we?’.

Make goals. What do you want. Think about it. Dream big. What do you want. What do you want. What do you want.

Oh.

Okay.

What do I want?

[gaiapaia]

Kermit And Friends: Police Chief William Blair Anderson

William Blair Anderson has been the Chief of Police in St. Cloud, Minnesota for over 9 years now. Chief Anderson is one of Minnesota's only four Black police chiefs. He has faced unbelievable odds to get where he’s at today, and now the Kermit and Friends community is blessed to call him one of our own.

Chief Anderson joined Kermit and Friends from his home on Sunday, rocking a very colorful “knowledge” t-shirt, and man... did he spread some knowledge throughout his wonderful interview with Elisa Jordana.

On the official St. Cloud Police website, it says the following: 

“The SCPD is proud to serve you. As such, we will govern ourselves using the principles of the “Wheel of Integrity" as our guide. The “Wheel of Integrity” consists of Accountability, Honesty, Humility, Respect, and Transparency.”

It took less than 2 minutes of hearing Chief Anderson speak to realize he lives up to these remarkable standards. He is truly what every cop should strive to be.

Chief Anderson was open and honest about whatever question Elisa and the KAF audience hit him with. For instance, Elisa asked the Chief about the time his house was firebombed by some racists who were unhappy about a black man moving into the neighborhood with a white significant other. It amazed me how Chief Anderson could share this story and not be filled with rage and hatred for the World. Instead, he channels their hatred into love and compassion and uses it as a cornerstone to try to improve humanity for the better. Elisa and the Chief also talked about gun reform. Everyone who knows Elisa knows how passionate she is about anti-gun violence. Of course the Chief is anti-gun violence too but he believes in the 2nd Amendment, that Americans should have the right to protect themselves, whereas Elisa wants all guns banned period. This was a beautiful example of two people disagreeing on their stance while remaining respectful and understanding of the other’s point of view. If only all political discussions could be this way, the World would be a much better place (America, specifically).

One thing the Chief and Elisa both agreed on was their distaste for marijuana. I knew Elisa wasn’t a fan of weed but I didn’t know it was such to an extent where she believes it should still be illegal. The Chief agreed with her! I don’t smoke it myself but I don’t want those who do to go to jail, so I’m not in agreement for it to be illegal. However, like Elisa and the Chief on gun reform, I’m definitely able to see where they’re coming from.

The Chief’s upbringing was another big topic of discussion. Chief Anderson was born and raised in the inner city of Detroit, Michigan. Anyone familiar with American geographically knows how rough Detroit is, and it’s beyond incredible that Chief Anderson was raised in that environment and still somehow managed to become the terrific human being that he is. He credits his parents for that... I can only imagine what amazing people they must be.

As mentioned, Chief Anderson also took some questions from the Kermit and Friends community members.

New Kermit and Friends Superstar Sigmond Twayne returned to the show with his beard dyed handsomely red, and he asked the Chief about his pastry eating habits. The Chief like any normal person loves doughnuts, and he doesn’t let cop stereotypes stop him for indulging himself with some delicious doughnuts whenever he’s in the mood!

T-Bob popped on to ask Chief Anderson about some false allegations made against the Chief in his past. Out of all the things Bob could have asked a great man like Chief Anderson, of course he brought that nonsense up. Thankfully, Chief Anderson being the upstanding gentleman that he is, he addressed the issue with honesty and humility. The story at least had a happy ending since it was this traumatic event that convinced the Chief to marry his current wife. You never know what kind of blessings hardships will bring!

Since the Chief was once falsely accused, this brought Sharmin on to ask what can be done about punishing people who falsely accuse others of crimes they didn’t commit. Sharmin has sadly had some horrible false allegations made against her that hurt her to this very day, and unfortunately it’s a very complicated situation to bring charges against those who falsely accuse people of heinous crimes they’re innocent of. I think your only real course of legal action is to hire a lawyer and sue.

Dr. Roy Alabado asked the Chief a question I think cops tend to get a lot: Why do cops shoot to kill instead of shoot to injure? Chief Anderson tried his best to explain to Dr. Roy that they’re trained to hit the widest part of the body - the upper torso, which can sometimes lead to death. Normal citizens like us can’t fathom what it’s like to be in a gun fight or partake in an altercation where our life is in danger. You have no time to be aware of being careful not to kill the person that may be trying to kill you... your only thought is survival by any means necessary. Chief Anderson has a family to come home to every night... it’s his job in life to make sure he does that.

Elisa’s fiancé Andy Dick then graced everyone with his presence. He was surprisingly very nice and courteous towards Chief Anderson.

For anyone that knows Andy’s history, you know he’s been arrested many times. This led Andy to not having the best feelings towards cops. Recently however, Andy admitted he’s been calling the police nearly every night to his trap house. Although most of the time it’s unnecessary, If you ever see Andy’s house and who he lives with, I’m sure you understand why he feels the need to call for protection quite often. Still though, to anyone reading this... don’t waste a cop’s time unless you really need their assistance!

Poor Andy joined yesterday’s show despite being stricken with a broken ankle. Andy originally told Elisa that it was brutally broken on purpose by someone he knew (we all assume it’s Lucas), but on the show he claimed they were having fun wrestling around and it was an accident. The truth is most likely somewhere in the middle. Andy showed the ankle and it’s horribly bruised, not sure if it’s fully broken but it could be. I wish Andy a very speedy recovery either way.

It’s possible Andy had some bad luck fall upon him due to Andy being such a naughty boy during Memorial Day weekend. Instead of honoring dead American soldiers, Andy was having crazed sex parties with Polish twin sisters and his housemates. Elisa shared a video of Andy recanting his weekend where he displayed some pictures that were blurred out. God only knows what those pictures  actually showed!

Outside of Chief William Blair Anderson, Kermit made another new friend this week named Byron.

Elisa didn’t recognize Byron and we found out he was brought on by Sharmin, who he once helped out. How did Byron help lovely Sharmin? Well, he eradicated ghosts from Sharmin’s house! Yep, Byron is a ghost hunter. What’s really amazing is that Byron doesn’t even need to be present physically for him to kill ghosts that are terrorizing your home... all he needs is pictures. What a miraculous gift!

I must give a huge shout out to Love Coach Erika in this review for booking Chief William Blair Anderson to be on the show this week. She’s a huge blessing to Kermit and Friends and I’m certain she will do more awesome stuff for the show in the future. Please subscribe to Love Coach’s Youtube channel by clicking here so you can catch her livestreams whenever they go down.

I also have to give co-host Sugar some love for her cop outfit. Hilarious! Moreover, major props to Johnny B for his awesome karaoke performance of I Fought the Law by The Clash to end the show.

I think this week’s Kermit and Friends will hold a special place in Elisa’s heart forever. She was nervous about interviewing such a high profile official, and it went better than I’m sure she could have ever dreamed. Elisa did a tremendous job, and much credit has to go to Chief William Blair Anderson for making it easy for her. The Chief is an awesome human being and I’m truly inspired to be a better person after listening to him talk yesterday. I hope you are too :)

[straydaddy]

Researching Lucrecia’s character (bcs for real, it’s pretty interesting to take a close look at Seph’s real parents) and hmmm. I honestly feel so sad about how Sephiroth was torn away from her. :c

She does come off as the type of person who has a low self-esteem and gets pushed around and manipulated a lot. She’s also a Shinra scientist so I can assume she is very intelligent (just not emotionally/socially!). This makes me feel sympathetic of her because I think I can relate to such qualities to some extent, being knowledgeable and a huge problem-solver but being overtly naive / good-willed in social relations + having given in to bad influences and pressure out of insecurity. It doesn’t mean Lucrecia isn’t responsible though, - she is. But her character flaw is that she couldn’t put together the courage to listen to her own moral compass before it was too late to realize how Professor “We are scientists, we know what we’re doing” Hojo doesn’t give a shit about her or anyone else.

Vincent is super sweet in her story. Ya’ll would call him a simp (somewhat understandably), but I also see someone who sees the potential for good in another person and tries to encourage it. He questions Lucrecia about whether she REALLY wants to partake in Hojo’s experiments that create Sephiroth. He is not an idiot for loving someone and trying to talk sense to that someone when they’re on the wrong path.

I can’t help but feel like Lucrecia’s own story is left incomplete. Her struggle is that she lets others manipulate her into something that is against her own judgement, sacrifices his own son to science and then loses him entirely because they literally won’t even let her hold him once he’s born. I see a vulnerable person who got fucked-over by a ruthless psychopath/manipulator. One who could’ve perhaps made better choices if she had more courage and understanding.

I did come up with some HCs for her backstory based on her canon character. No, not calling it canon but IMO this is the vibe she gives! I think a lot of things about Lucrecia hint that she has never been allowed to make much choices for herself, - perhaps she was that really academically bright, but extremely sheltered child once whose family never gave her responsibility, nor expected her to be responsible for anything ever. Basically.. She had a very sexist upbringing that stripped her off her sense of personal responsibility, agency and freedom. She shows signs of learned helplessness and relying on others, even very terrible others, like Hojo, on big answers. It seems that her emotional growth is at a very stunted state; she is confused, angry and sad and then in regret, and the only way she can deal with it is by hiding herself away.

I also don’t think she had the power to do anything about Shinra taking her child away. I think Hojo talked her into thinking she’s helping bring back the “Cetra” and helping all of humanity, you know, the stuff that manipulative weirdo would say to a naive well-meaning person to make her think this experiment is a good idea. Shinra Science Department decides you can’t even hold your newborn child nor be involved in his life... What is there you can do about that? These people will actually kill you for holding any tea against them. Lucrecia must’ve been so alone, powerless, and traumatized even further in that situation.

So yeah. I can’t bring myself to hate her, nor call her a “terrible bitch who doesn’t care”. I think she is presented as an adult with a highly stunted emotional developement who got taken advantage of, and that is, if anything, painfully tragic and disgusting. I feel sorry for her. The level of sorry that I almost feel an itty bitty tear in the corner of my eye? If Lucrecia is ever brought back again, I would love to see her finding courage in herself and bonding with people who support her following her own judgement instead of manipulating her. I would love to see her story continue, because being locked inside a crystal just doesn’t come off as a satisfactory ending.

She didn’t do the right choices but I just don’t think she’s as terrible as a person as what a lot of people say she is. I actually think she came off as a well-meaning but painfully sheltered and naive individual who got ruthlessly manipulated by Hojo who’s known to give zero fucks about other people. Hojo was like, “Haha, you stupid, you do as I tell you”. I was like “no, this is sad and disgustinng, fuck you Hojo and Lucrecia pls run away when you ca--- ooh shit”.

[wildwcmen]

CASS + FAMILY

in her main verse, cass was raised in a little townhouse in the bay area. she, jeff, and her biological mom and dad lived on one side of the townhouse, while leon and his biological mom lived on the other side. they were all raised together and often spent time together, but it was nice for everyone to have their own space. 

cass’s parents were, and always have been, in an open relationship. leon was born first, which means that her dad (sirius) was in a relationship with his mom (still unnamed smh thanks roni, we will call her mom #2) first. however, the two never had intentions of getting married. he met cass’s biological mom (aimee) and the two began to see each other as well, ultimately getting married and giving birth to cass a few years later. both of them continued to be romantically involved with mom #2 throughout the entirety of their marriage.

her parents both had other relationships as well, but cass was not aware of those growing up. there were never any serious additional relationships to the point of bringing the individuals home. as cass got older, she realized that her parents relationship was more open than she knew, when she and her best friend discovered that sirius and her friend’s mom had been dating. eventually, mom #2 also got in a serious relationship and introduced them to the children. once again, none of this ever felt off to cass, and she never realized that the family wasn’t traditional until other people told her.

when her bio parents passed away at the age of 15, cass was raised by mom #2. she still owns the townhouse, but uses it as a AIRBNB because it makes her sad. she also got a big inheritance when her bio parents passed away.

SIRIUS LEE

cass’s biological dad. nerdy science guy in cass’s eyes, actually a pretty cool astronaut in everyone else’s eyes. legally changed his name because he wanted a star name and then, fuck it, he gave cass a star name too. he taught cass about the stars and space and is the reason for her hobby in astrology. he was the more strict parent, but also very loving. he worked a lot which meant that he was around less. cass always had a very strong bond with him, but also felt a big need to please him. this is a need that continues past the time of his death. he is more quiet and keeps to himself, showing his love through acts rather than words or physical affection.

AIMEE LEE

cass’s mom, her best friend, her art teacher. aimee is the one who inspired both cass and leon to become artists. she met mom #2 through buying weed from her, and was then introduced to sirius. she is the very opposite of sirius, warm and inviting, the life of every party, physically and verbally affectionate. they balanced each other out perfectly, as parents and as partners. she was a fairly successful painter, painting mostly landscapes. she is also the reason for cass’s genetic disposition toward depression. she used weed and micro dosed other psychedelics for her depression, but also heavily encouraged cass to see a therapist when she started experiencing symptoms. a literal queen, we stan. 

MOM #2 roni pls name her

an actual goddess. she worked as a dealer before cannabis was totally legal in california, and eventually opened her own dispensary. she and aimee were kindred spirits, and they were friends long before mom #2 ever introduced her to sirius. she is very much the “hippie” type, and very strange but affectionate. cass loves her a lot, but she’s afraid of the pain of losing another parent, so she distances herself and doesn’t visit her as much as she should.

JEFF LEE

cass’s favorite. not just her favorite family member, her favorite person in the world. she would do anything for jeff. any positive change that she has in life is usually in an attempt to be a “good influence” for him. usually though, jeff is the good influence on her. 

LEON LEE

cass’s least favorite, because they’re a lot alike. she generally ends up feeling like the big sister, even though he’s technically older. he gets on her nerves, usually on purpose, and loves to annoy her or mess with her. 

JADE LEE

another half sibling, but one that isn’t really that involved in family stuff. her mother chose to raise her on the east coast, and they really only saw her around holidays. cass doesn’t feel very close to her, and is never really sure how to change that. she is very different from the rest of the siblings, having more of a cool and reserved personality than the rest.

CASS’S VIEW ON RELATIONSHIPS

her view on relationships directly ties into her upbringing. first of all, cass heavily idealizes her parents relationship. she wants to copy and paste their relationship into her own life. this is why she was in a series of unhealthy “open” relationships when she was young, that were actually just some stupid guy using her open-mindedness as an excuse to cheat on her, and eventually decide to be monogamous with someone else. 

because of this idealization and romanticism, cass doesn’t really go about open relationships in the right way either. she isn’t best at the communication piece, which has led to her making mistakes and hurting others as well. 

she only saw the good parts of her parents relationship, and so she thinks that an open relationship is the only thing that she could ever partake in. she thinks it’s a good way to bypass jealousy, not having seen that there was jealousy involved in her parent’s relationship, because jealousy is a normal human emotion. it may seem like cass has a fear of commitment, but in reality she just thinks that she can only be happy if she replicates what her parents had. if she looks deeper, of course, she would realize that they did have a deep level of commitment.

cass is open to poly relationships and open relationships, but what she generally doesn’t realize until her later years is that she is capable of monogamy. this realization usually comes around the time that she realizes that she’s demiromantic, and rarely feels true romantic attraction in the first place. this is when she stops trying to force herself to be in love, and allows herself to actually find love.

it takes a long time for her to release her need to live through her parent’s blueprint and decide what being in a loving relationship means to her. that she can admire her parents love, without trying to recreate it or automatically thinking it’s the best fit for her.

[ardenttheories]

And onto that odd little meta piece I was talking about. It’s really more of a fandom observation.

Despite not knowing what Bro looks like, the entire fandom seemed to gravitate towards two ideas: Twunk, or Hunk. Every piece of fanart I’ve seen usually has him thickly built, trim down the waist but broad shouldered and coiled with muscle, or at the very least with some sort of defined musculature that usually isn’t present on other characters. E.g. x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

You’ll also typically find a theme with the artist’s choice of expression or facial features; strong jaw, sharp nose, often frowning. 

And this all comes from...

This sprite. A sprite, mind you, that’s exactly the same as this:

And yet the expression of this character is wholly different. 

He’s often drawn slimmer, with slanted shoulders and either a thin dorito-waistline or a relatively similar shoulder to hip ratio. He often has more curved features - his jawline, his nose - and his expression almost always determined or soft. E.g. x, x, x, x, x, x

And for emphasis: this is how two artists chose to draw them side by side. E.g. x, x

It’s also very rare to see people draw Alpha Dave the same height as Bro. From memory - and I got into Homestuck roughly during the height of the Alpha kids’ popularity - most of the fanart I saw with any instance of Bro and A!Dave in the same image had a pretty fair height difference. 

Again: this comes from the exact same sprite. When you layer Bro’s sprite over A!Dave’s, you’ll be able to fit them together pixel to pixel (except, of course, the arm - A!Dave’s got his arm up holding the sword, unlike Bro - and the jawline - which is much more curved than Bro’s, but when we actually see Alpha Dave’s sprite in canon, it isn’t really long enough to focus on this tiny feature [especially when you consider that Grandpa Harley has the same face shape, but people still draw him with a defined jawline]). 

So, why so different? Why would people draw these two characters so wildly different when, for instance... 

Both Moms are drawn almost exactly the same. 

It’s pretty obvious when you think about it, but it’s also an incredibly important thing to note if you ever plan on creating your own characters. 

Character interactions define how we view characters that have yet to be introduced or do not have a wholly set image. 

When we think of Bro, we have to be realistic: we know absolutely nothing about who he is as a person, or what he looks like, besides the information that we get from Dave. So, when we get the information that he’s physically abusive, that he has cameras around the entire apartment, partakes in puppet snuff for the sake of a pornographic website, leaves such pornographic paraphenalia around the apartment for a young Dave to see, and that he’s emotionally closed off and distant, we immediately start to form an image of him in our minds that’s based on what we can define as an amalgamation of toxic masculinity and male abusers. 

It’s not exactly hard to imagine why the most common fanart of him circulates as a tall, imposing, broad figure who barely smiles and would be incredibly hard to get around in a small, dark alley. 

We also need to remember, of course, that Dave is a child while he describes Bro. An adult is almost always going to be tall and imposing to a child - is always going to be stronger and physically more capable than a child. 

Bro could be the most average joe you’ve ever met, but because we learn about him from the viewpoint of a child who quite literally cannot fight back, the image of him becomes tilted to the buff end of the spectrum. 

He becomes someone we would fear seeing. Someone who could overpower us, and not just a child under his care. He is big and strong because that is how Dave sees him, and that is how we come to understand him as a character.

Big, strong, violent, with sexual overtness and a lack of emotion. It’s pretty much the only way you can imagine him, even when his sprite is incredibly lacking in detail. 

So, why the softness for Alpha Dave? 

Pretty simply, because we already know who Dave is by the time Alpha Dave is introduced. People already had an idea of what Dave looked like, who he’d be when he grew up. People had already decided that Dave, being so different from Bro, being such a hero, would never be able to achieve the same sort of toxic masculinity that Bro did - would never have the same shape, the same musculature, that comes with that toxic imagery. 

 We also got told about him by a young teen who absolutely idolised him. Who emphasised his good traits and spoke about how absolutely badass he was. 

The connotations with Alpha Dave are so much more positive than with Bro. That in and of itself would have changed how people drew him. But when you combine him with the concept that he’s Dave, the Dave that went through all that abuse and came out the other side hating everything that Bro stood for, it’s hard not to draw him as Bro’s nigh complete opposite. 

So, he’s smaller. He’s got less of that musculature that people associate with toxic masculinity (the ability to overpower someone smaller), and he has a much closer shoulder-to-hip ratio (something that makes him take up less space, and come across as less imposing). He smiles more, he emotes more, he’s much more emotionally open - and even when he’s meant to be “cool”, it’s often with some sort of smug or determined look, not the ever-present blankness or snarl that we see from Bro. 

He loses all of the traits that we’d associate with an abuser. Instead, he becomes a pretty ordinary hero - someone who can stand up and fight back, but isn’t overly heroic or powerful. Someone who might still struggle, but can handle things. 

This is despite the fact, of course, that we know nothing about Alpha Dave’s upbringing or life besides what Dirk tells us - and Brain Ghost Dirk, at that. Unreliable narrators are not a good place to find valuable information, and, once again, the in-comic sprite is literally the exact same as Bro’s.

Fandom perception is an incredibly powerful thing. 

So, what about Dirk? How does he fare in all of this?

Dirk’s actually a weird figure in everything, and this comes down to a very simple yet paradoxical concept:

We already had ideas on who Bro was, yet we actively get to see who Dirk is. 

It’s very hard to go into something expecting one person and getting another. We can see all those notes in Dirk that we saw in Bro - the toxic tendencies, the hyper masculinity, the divorced note from people and emotions - but we see them within the specific framework of a teenager with mental illness. 

This isn’t just an asshole, abusive adult. This is that adult’s younger self in a better mindset to try and do good by the people he loves. We see this time and time again - when he says how much he cares about Roxy, when he expresses his guilt that he couldn’t be romantically invested in her, when he shares the fears he holds of his splinters, when he admits that Bro is exactly what he could be and is genuinely scared of being - that he is the foundation of Bro, but not Bro in a very important way. 

It’s also needless to say that people connected with Dirk in the exact same way that people connected with Dave. When you look at a lot of vent art involving him, it’s almost always about mental illness - anxiety, impulsive or intrusive thoughts, a desperate need for control in life, self harm or a dislike for oneself - and a fair bit of generic art revolving around Dirk includes some sort of deeper mental struggle. 

He’s a victim, in a similar way that Dave is, but he’s also just far enough that he could be a villain. 

You find that a lot of fanart therefore shows this paradoxical nature. 

In some, he’s softer. The ratio between his hips and his shoulders is narrower, his jawline is more curved. E.g. x, x, x, x

In others, he’s sharper. He’s drawn with more defined muscle, with a stronger jawline and broader shoulders, and though he’s definitely slim you can definitely see just how close he is to becoming the same figure as Bro. E.g. x, x, x, x, x 

And in others, he’s an odd mix of both. A brooding figure with a softer jawline, but still imposing and sharp in his own right - or even the complete opposite, with sharp features and defined shapes, but slimmer and smaller, much less imposing. E.g. x, x, x, x, x, 

So, I think we can make a pretty firm observation that the way Dirk is drawn reflects how the artist views his journey and his struggles. Whether he’s his own person, closer to Bro, or somewhere stuck in between. 

As you can see from most of this art, there’s a few ways that people draw Dirk; raring to fight and smug/confident, fairly sombre and down, almost tired, or standoffish and closed off. Even this is somewhere in between the way people view Bro and Alpha Dave. 

So, it’s then interesting to take a look at the Epilogues. 

New art of Dirk was produced in line with the Meat Epilogue. And while I really only know of one piece that catches my eye every time I see it, I think it’s important to point out that, in almost all of these images, one of two body types appear for Dirk:

1) Broad, muscular, tall. He takes up space and commands attention. Sharp features, wider shoulders.

2) Smaller, less imposing, yet somehow intimidating in just the expressions he makes and the way he holds himself. If you can imagine any fuckboy you’d be scared of being cornered by at a party, you’ve got a good idea of this style of fanart. 

In other words, either tipped way more to looking like Bro, or so close to looking like something you’d be scared of IRL - which perfectly reflects how uncomfortable he feels within the narration of the Epilogue, and some of the more questionable things he has happen in it. 

I also want to just add in as a side note: almost all of the links I added about Dirk go to Pinterest for sake of ease for people to find other images for reference, since I’m really just collecting the art I like most. On most of the Dirk ones, scrolling down will reveal the aforementioned vent art; on most of the Dave ones, scrolling down will reveal much softer, sweeter pieces of art involving him and people he’s loved throughout the comic. Just something interesting to add into this discussion - think about what that means for how people view either Strider.

So, what was all of this about?

Honestly, it’s me just pointing out how important character opinions and preconceived ideas are to the way people view other characters. So much of the way we see Bro is influenced by how Dave sees him and our cultural understanding of what toxic, hypermasculine male abusers look like. So much of the way we see Alpha Dave is based around our understanding of Dave, and what little we can fill in from Brain Ghost Dirk, rather than on who he actually is as a person (and we could be wrong; we could be very, very wrong). So much of the way of the way we see Dirk is influenced by Bro, and yet by what we see in canon. 

If we had different ideas and different opinions from different characters, we might draw each of them wildly different. But it is this specific combination of lack of physical description and cultural association/character perception that ensures we draw them the way they are. 

[nathalie-sancoeur-assistant]

Emilie Agreste

(Note, I do NOT remember if I have made an in-depth post on this before and if I have my apologies but I want to put this out there)

Okay so I know I say that I hope Emilie is going to be a villain but this is my OFFICIAL post on it, and I'm going to call it right here, right now, in front of everyone, that Emilie Agreste is not only going to be a villain, but she's going to be a force to be reckoned with (I mean, you can't just have the main-bad of the series NOT be ruthless, cunning and hard to beat, right?)

She's going to be charming. How else would she get Gabriel Agreste to fall for her and practically worship the ground she walks on if he's going to not only tear Paris to shreds for her, but risk the life of, most likely, his only friend in the world and one true ally, Nathalie Sancoeur?

Lemme take some time to break this down okay. Now I've spent a lot of time on this, didn't even initially type it out on Tumblr, mkay? I took this baby to sticky notes on my laptop.

First we gotta look at Adriens past just to get a feel for the type of person she was.

Adrien spent his childhood alone, isolated from other people, homeschooled, sheltered beyond whats normal or, even what can be considered extreme and his social life....well, it wasn't even dead, because something that never existed can't die. His only friend was, of all people, the bratty, entitled, snobbish and selfish person we know of as Chloe Bougeoirs (not to anger any Chloe fans out there, she has her pros and cons and I know its a result of a bad childhood as well, but she still uses people, manipulates them and hurts others purposefully to get attention and I don't care how bad of a childhood you've had, that's not okay and she needs to mature because at this rate she's going to stay an ignorant child for as long as she lives). Now, any normal parent might want their kid to have someone their age who was a good influence- and Chloe probably would have benefitted from Adriens present if he wasn't such a...for lack of a better word, a pushover. The poor boy didn't know what friendship was until Nino came about, before that his expectations were probably very low and he had nothing to compare it to. He was isolated for 14 years. Socially, he's dumb as a pickle and it's not his fault. He fits the perfect stereotype that people who are homeschooled are socially inept. So really, his nature as a pushover is a direct result of his upbringing- he doesn't know how wrong it is sometimes.

Now tell me, what kind of decent parent- especially one that needs their child to be able to put on a good image- would be okay with this? They might think "Oh he has Chloe" but I can guarantee you as they got older they could see more and more how bratty Chloe was getting and what a terrible influence she could be on their son- so why did they not attempt to help him socialize? It's not impossible for homeschooled kids to socialize and have a bunch of friends. There are libraries, parks, churches, social gatherings, community events, etc. that you can bring your homeschooled child to for a healthy dose of social interaction with the possibility of making friends- and with how well off these guys are you know darn well they could have gotten him to one at least once a week. Why go to so much effort to keep your kid behind closed doors? It has serious psychological effects that I'm sure people who are smart enough to get so far would know about. Heck you don't even have to be smart to know it- human beings are social creatures, even if some of us are introverted as heck and never want to leave our house, we still need human interaction otherwise we will get sick in some way shape or form. Emilie had a huge say in Adrien's upbringing and could have easily gotten him out of the house- and the reason I say she had a huge role is because, as soon as she was gone, Gabriel started doing what Nathalie suggested. This man relies on the women in his life to help raise his kid, because he knows he's not good at parenting to a certain degree. He trusted that Emilie, as Adrien's mother, would be able to know what was best and likely went along with it because "She'll know what to do. She's his mother and I trust her. If she says it's what is best, then it's whats best and it's what I want." But then as SOON as she was gone, he didn't have that to fall back on and in comes Nathalie, the second best thing. She knows Adrien, she's helped raise him. She's been around for a long time, surely not all her suggestions are going to be wrong. So he goes along with it. (And note while I stated that SEEMINGLY as fact, it was less FACT and more OBSERVATION on my part. I could be wrong! But based off what I've seen and my own intuition, this is how I PERSONALLY have interpreted the situation). But to clarify- no decent mother is going to allow their child to be so out-of-touch. Its perfectly normal to want to protect them but when its to that degree....something just isn't sitting right. (Not saying that Gabriel is off the hook! He could have influence if he wanted too! He has the power to step in and say no- but he doesn't. He does deserve to be shamed for it, just don't forget that EMILIE IS NOT PERFECT)

Now we move on to her personality. We don't know a lot about it, at least we haven't been directly told, but at one point in Simon Says it is insinuated that she had a temper. What a strange first thing to reveal about how she acted, when she's supposedly the ideal mother and woman? (My own personal opinion is that she is going to have that temper, and be bold, intelligent, strong, cunning, charming, and eventually shown to be ruthless, but that is ONLY because I feel that those are traits that accompany a main villain well. I'm not saying that for a fact and I could be COMPLETELY wrong- I thought Duusu was going to be a bitter bipolar ball of sass but from the small clip we've seen she's sweet as a strawberry. So don't take this as fact, PLEASE.) What a strange trait to put any amount of emphasis on for someone painted as ideally as her.

Also- why was she interested in the Miraculous? She knew about them, we know that for a fact, because she gave Gabriel the book. She, I believe, is the one who started this whole miraculous endeavor. I mean, Gabriel by himself I doubt would have any interest in traveling completely out of the country on some off-chance that these so called "magical trinkets" might exist, would he? That doesn't sound like him to me. Not something he'd partake in by himself. Not to mention, we know the miraculous are directly tied to her coma, and without any villains to fight, why on Earth would she be using the peacock miraculous so much? I don't recall it ever being confirmed but we all basically assume it's canon now that Emilie is in a coma because of the damaged miraculous. What on EARTH could she have been doing that required her to use the broken of their two miraculous so frequently? And not even cause any past of sentimonsters in the city (we know that because of how surprised everyone is about the sentimonsters beforehand, how even Ladybug questioned it when we first saw one) And in the end, the book was her last gift to Gabriel. It was hers, not theirs, hers. So that leads me to question- did Gabriel even know about the book until Emilie gave it to him? And if that's the case, why would she wait until she was THAT sick to give it to him? Something just feels off about that.

Now we go on to think about everything Gabriel says when he talks to her. Now there have been MULTIPLE episodes, I can't give exact quotes or even tell you what episodes they were, where Gabriel said something about ruling the world...yeah nah someone like him isn't interested in governing a world of idiots, I've heard that that was simply bad translation and we can also just chalk it up to him getting carried away and less referring to actual world-domination and more just showing exactly how much power he'll have if/when he gets his hands on those miraculous and make his wish. But Gabriel has said things about "promises" they made and "Righting their mistakes"- there is obviously more going on here than meets the eye. There has BEEN more going on here than meets the eye since day one. And we're still in the dark as to the Agreste's full story. Obviously Gabriel and Emilie have made mistakes and his goal isn't just to wish her back, but I'm going to say to potentially wish away the very mistake that caused the miraculous to be broken and Emilie to go comatose in the first place. Perhaps there's more to it but that seems like the most logical route to me. Again, we don't know the full story yet, which just leaves open so many questions and leaves Emilie up to even more suspicion. What was she doing that needs wished away? What broke the peacock miraculous? What did they promise each other?( I think I've mentioned that before and someone said Astruc addressed it or something but I digress, unless I hear something solid and concrete disproving it Im going to wonder about it forever. )

It's been insinuated I believe that the whole reason Gabriel became Hawkmoth was BECAUSE he wanted to bring Emilie back and right those past wrongs. His whole motivation to keep going could be that once he gets those miraculous and changes the past, he will never have had to have even become Hawkmoth in the first place and therefore his current actions don't matter so long as he succeeds and erases that part of his life completely. The ENTIRE REASON he became the supervillain Hawkmoth is because of his wife. And if he succeeds he could potentially wipe it all away and have a clean slate at the expense of someone else taking his place, of course. That may be what he is relying on to keep himself going and justifying his actions for all we know. People didn't know about Hawkmoth before origins, they were all surprised, so that's more proof that...he wasn't really Hawkmoth until his wife fell ill.

Not to mention all the symbolism we see. In Adrien's post on Instagram with Nathalie helping him with his homework, we see Nathalie, working hard to be of service to the Agreste child and fill the role of a mother while his biological mother's portrait, in all its "perfect" glory (Also a picture that clearly idolizes her, making her look almost like some sort of Goddess) sits blurry in the background...watching. That is the best example I have right now but if anyone else has more, feel free to let me know! I'm sure there are plenty of things here I forgot to mention that can be addressed, and if anyone thinks of any, PLEASE, send an ask my way and feel free to discuss it. But this has been my argument, and official "called it!" post on how Emilie is not all she's cracked up to be.

Also a side note- I'm also calling Gabriel succeeding. I believe he's gonna get the miraculous. Its just the twist the show needs, the 'bad guys' for once seeming to win, but they're all pawns in Emilie's game....that last line may be a bit drastic but Im not going to say I don't believe it to some degree.

[21stcenturyhope]

BTS Imagine // Royalty!AU with Jin

Kim Seokjin

summary: Your marriage to Prince Seokjin had been arranged since you were young. You were irrevocably in love with him but did he feel the same about you?

genre: angst, fluff ending

length: 2.1k words

other members: Yoongi | Hoseok | Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Jungkook

At eight years old, you were introduced to Kim Seokjin.

You had been a sickly child and often couldn’t partake in physically vigorous activities. All the other children in the palace didn’t have the patience to stay behind and play with you when they would rather be running up the hills or riding horses.

Jin was a prince from a neighbouring kingdom. His mother was an old friend of your mother’s and they had arranged a play date between the two of you. He was different from everyone else, almost like a well of endless patience and not to mention notoriously funny.

Jin didn’t mind staying behind to read books with you in the library. The two of you would take slow walks along the forest edge where he would point out different plants. Jin would always be holding a parasol above your head to protect you from the sun. When you began to slow down, he would grasp your hand tightly in his so you wouldn’t be left behind.

For the first time in your life, you felt like you finally had friend.

~

At thirteen years old, you knew you were in love with him.

The two of you exchanged letters often. Even if you wrote about the most mundane things going on with your life, Jin’s response always seemed enthusiastic. Your exchanges were pages in length and each letter had you anticipating for the next one.

You couldn’t help but let out an excited squeal when one of his letters informed you of his upcoming visit. It had been a few months since you last saw Jin and it was by far the longest stretch the two of you had gone without each other’s company.

The day he was set to arrive had you waiting anxiously in front of the castle doors, constantly checking for any sight of a carriage making its way up the path. When Jin finally did arrive, you launched yourself down the front steps and into his arms.

“Jin! You’re finally here!”

Laughter filled the front courtyard as the servants looked on fondly while he lifted you up in the air and twirled you around. Butterflies formed in your stomach when Jin finally set you down and he looked down at you with that bright smile of his.

“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” Jin said, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “Come on, let’s go say hello to your parents and then you can show me your encyclopedia collection.”

Jin grabbed your hand as he hurried into the castle that he considered his second home. If he had looked behind him, he probably would have noticed the bright blush that had appeared across your face.

~

At sixteen years old, your dream was coming true.

The thing your father valued most in his life was family. Despite being the king, he would make sure to have dinner alone with just you and your mother from time to time. It was his way of having quality time with his loved ones.

It was by complete accident that you had overheard your parents talking. You had arrived early for dinner at your father’s private chambers and your parents were already seated. They hadn’t thought to keep their voices down.

“It’s nice to see Y/N and Jin so close these days, they are going to make such a lovely couple,” your mother cooed.

“You’re right, my dear. I think they’ll be quite receptive when we announce the marriage arrangement.”

Your gasp alerted your parents to your presence.

“Mom? Dad? Is it true? Will I really be marrying Jin?”

“Oh, honey, we didn’t mean for you to find out this way. If this makes you unhappy…”

The large smile on your face was an indication of how ecstatic you were. You ran to hug your mother tightly before you she could finish your sentence.

“Unhappy? Impossible! I think I’m the happiest girl in the world now!”

“I told you so, dear. Our daughter seems quite receptive,” your father teased before turning serious for a moment. “But if you ever change your mind, Y/N, you just say the word. Even if I have to wage war, I will end this arrangement if that’s what you wish for. We love you and your happiness will always be your own choice.”

~

At eighteen years old, your heart was broken.

Your parents had arranged for you to visit Jin for the summer. Showing up a few days early, you had planned on surprising him. Unable to find him in the kitchens or the stables, you finally stumbled upon him in the library. You realized he was with a friend before you could interrupt so you remained hidden just outside the door.

“What am I supposed to do, Namjoon? I’m so in love with her.”

Familiar butterflies erupted in your stomach. You had always hoped that Jin would return your feelings and now you had your answer. But why did it sound like it pained Jin to make such an admission?

“Jin, you’re young…”

“No, I know this isn’t puppy love. She’s the one for me but it kills me when I think about how I’ll never get the chance to be with her in this lifetime.”

Now you were confused. Jin’s love wasn’t in any way unrequited – you loved him with all of your heart. And the arrangement between the two of you was the worst kept secret in both kingdoms. Everyone knew the two of you would one day be wedded.

“What about Y/N? You know how she feels about you,” Namjoon asked. Your breath hitched as you waited for Jin to answer.

“I could never love Y/N the way I love her, Namjoon. I would give up my crown if it meant we could be together.”

Your heart shattered when you realized that Jin was never talking about you. He was in love with someone and it wasn’t you. You willed the tears to not fall as you silently made your way back to your own quarters.

Oh, how you wished you had never overheard him.

~

At nineteen years old, you began to lose hope.

Since you had found out about Jin’s love interest, you had become obsessed with learning everything and anything you could about her.

Her name was Jiyoo and she was the youngest daughter of a prominent duke. Despite her noble upbringing, you learned that she had a kind heart and volunteered her free time to many notable causes. She was talented in music, cooking and debate among other things. You found yourself lacking in many ways compared to her. Besides your royal title, which you had inherited, what had you even really accomplished in life?

You found out that Jin had cut off all contact with Jiyoo since the day you had overheard him a year ago. In the end, you supposed his sense of obligation to his parents and to his kingdom had won out. But your paths often crossed with Jiyoo’s and it hurt you deeply each time you noticed the seemingly longing looks Jin still sent her way.

The same day Jiyoo had announced her engagement to some other nobleman was the day Jin first kissed you. It was quick and chaste but you could have sworn you saw stars. The two of you never talked about what it meant but you couldn’t help but think maybe it had something to do with Jiyoo. But when Jin continued to steal kisses from you here and there, that was enough for you to believe that maybe Jin would eventually learn to love you back.

~

At twenty years old, you made the hardest decision of your life.

You had held onto Jin selfishly up until this point, refusing to break off your engagement despite what you knew. You had even accepted coming in second place when it came to matters of Jin’s heart.

You had committed every one of his smiles to memory. The sound of his squeaky laughter was like music to your ears. When Jin held your hand or placed a sweet kiss on your lips, your skin burned and you began to crave his touch even more.

You kept telling yourself that these small moments were enough as long as you could be with Jin.

But at some point, it had all become too much. Truthfully, Jin hadn’t done anything to wrong you at all. He was still the same Jin you always knew – kind, patient and possibly even more charming. However, deep down, you couldn’t help but feel like Jin had settled for you when he realized he could no longer be with Jiyoo. Would Jin eventually begin to resent you for being the one thing that got in the way of his one true love?

Last night, you had finally broken down in front of your parents, begging them to cancel the arrangement as sobs racked your entire body. It was too painful to hold on anymore. The wedding ceremony was set to take place in just a few days and the preparations had been well underway at Jin’s castle. Your parents were confused but there wasn’t anything your mother and father were unwilling to do for you.

Which was how you found yourself waiting by the carriage that would take you home, all of your belongings neatly packed in the back. The doors of the castle swung open with a thud and Jin came storming down the steps, his angry gaze entirely focused on you.

“Y/N! What the hell is going on? We’re getting married in three days and all of a sudden your parents are calling off the wedding!”

“I’m sorry, Jin. Our parents are good friends, they won’t let this turn into a big misunderstanding. Our kingdoms will still be able to trade freely and have good relations.”

“Y/N, I could care less about fucking trade relations.” This was the first time you had ever heard Jin swear and you were surprised at the amount of frustration in his voice. “What I want to know is why you’re leaving me?”

“P-pardon?” you sputtered, at a loss for words. Jin took several steps towards you and placed a hand on either side of your head, effectively trapping you up against the carriage.

“I won’t ask again. Why are you leaving me, Y/N?”

“Jin… it’s for your own good! This was always supposed to be a marriage of convenience. I thought you would be happy to have your freedom back so you could marry someone you love.”

“A marriage of convenience? Was that all this was to you? How do you know I wasn’t already happy? That I wasn’t already marrying someone I love?”

“But, Jiyoo…”

“Jiyoo?” Jin was flabbergasted. “What the hell does she have to do with this?”

“I see the way you look at her.”

“You mean with complete and utter disdain?”

“Please don’t lie to me… I overheard you, Jin. You told Namjoon that you loved her and that you were willing to give up your crown for her.”

His sudden laughter shocked you and you weren’t quite sure what was going on anymore.

“Jin?”

“Oh my god… Y/N, Jiyoo tried to trap me into marriage by setting me up in a compromising situation while I was asleep. Thank god it was only Namjoon who walked in. He was right, it was only puppy love. Jiyoo only wanted me for my title and I stopped contacting her after that.”

Jin let out a big sigh and softly cradled your face between his hands, resting his forehead against yours.

“This is all my fault. I never told you outright how I feel and I let all these crazy doubts and ideas form in your head. So, here I go. You are it for me. You are the one that I love, Y/N. Please don’t leave me.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as your processed what Jin said – the person he loved was you.

“I must be really bad at confessing my love because it seems to have made you cry.”

You shake your head as you let out a shaky laugh.

“These are happy tears. I love you too, Jin.”

You briefly saw a flash of Jin’s bright smile before he leaned in to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

At twenty years old, you finally got your happily ever after.

[vengfulfate]

Both of Them, and Only Them, Ch. 10

Story Summary -   Melanie and Miltiades Malachite have trouble with love. They share everything, and this has either scared people away or made them think their relationship was more open than the twins would wish. Then along came Ruby Rose… could she be the one the sisters have searched for?

Chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine

I apologize to everyone who looks forward to this story for the extended gaps between updates. This is kind of a side project for me. It's getting a chapter now because I haven't settled on my next project yet and wanted to get some writing done. It might get another chapter or two in the next few weeks, or it might not. It all depends on how things go.

Please enjoy!

   ---

The morning came, and neither Weiss nor Ruby knew how to breach the subject. They prepared for their mission around each other in uncomfortable silence. The tension between them only grew along side the silence, and Yang and Blake feared it would boil over badly. As much as they wanted to avoid it, neither of them knew how to get the former ‘BFFs’ to an agreeable conclusion either.

Even the arrival of Zwei, Ruby and Yang’s corgi from Patch, did little to lessen the anxious air. The subject was all that was on their minds, but none of them had to courage to breach it. Not until they were almost on the airship, anyways.

“Hey, Yang?” Ruby asked for her sister to get some words in the air, “What are the details of the mission you guys picked, anyway?”

“Oh yeah, about that…” Yang began cautiously, “We tried to pick a mission that turned out to be restricted to first-years…”

“Then Ozpin came out of nowhere, basically told us he knew exactly what we were up to, and approved us for the restricted mission,” Weiss finished matter-of-factly.

“So… our mission is to actually look for the White Fang?” Ruby asked, confused.

“Not officially,” Blake answered, “But I’m pretty sure that’s what was implied.”

“And… our thing?” Ruby finally directed to Weiss. Getting a conversation out had exactly the effect she hoped. “It won’t get in the way, right?”

“Of course not,” Weiss stated sharply, her classic cold demeanor reemerging.

Yang wouldn’t exactly call it progress, but at least the team knew they would still work efficiently together. It was enough for the team, at least for now.

   ---

Their mission brought them to the ruins of the township of Mountain Glenn. A failed expansion of Vale, Mountain Glenn was a concrete jungle of crumbling buildings and wandering grimm. The concentration of grimm had spiked in recent weeks, which was not unusual on it’s own, but it still lined up with the information Blake had obtained. After a long afternoon with little progress, RWBY and their chaperon set up camp for the night in one of the many collapsed buildings.

Ruby was keeping watch when Doctor Oobleck, their history teacher and huntsmen chaperon clad in safari clothing, approached her. “Good evening, Ms. Rose.”

“Hey, professor,” Ruby greeted in turn in her usual cheerful demeanor.

“Doctor,” Oobleck warned.

“Right, sorry,” Ruby giggled.

“You team is very impressive, for first year students,” Oobleck complemented.

“Thank you!” Ruby smiled. After a pause, she added, “Doctor.”

“But there is a tension here, isn’t there?” the teacher pointed out.

Ruby’s smile failed. “You see it?”

“I do,” Oobleck nodded.

“It won’t get in the way,” Ruby promised, “we’ve talked it over.”

“But not resolved it?” Oobleck pressed further.

Ruby sighed. “Doctor, how do you feel about… polygamy?”

“Hm...” Oobleck thought. That seemed a lot more complicated than what he initially assumed teenagers would argue over. “I believe there is too much negativity in the world deny someone something that makes them happy.”

“One of my team mates doesn’t believe it can be real,” Ruby explained.

“And another is partaking in a polygamous relationship?” Oobleck deduced.

“I am,” Ruby confirmed.

Oobleck couldn’t help but think back on the various observations he had made that day. “Not to be inconsiderate, but Ms. Schnee...?”

Ruby did a double take, panicking for a brief moment. She felt like confirming such was akin to bad mouthing her behind her back. “I… shouldn’t gossip.”

“Of course,” Oobleck nodded, understanding. “I admit I don’t have any advice for you. Much as he may seem it, Professor Ozpin is not omnipotent. Teams are not always a perfect storm of friends and confidants. Being able to work together regardless is part of being an adult.”

“We’re trying,” Ruby nodded. “I just wish I could make her see she’s wrong.”

“She may be wrong in this specific instance, but her fears are not entirely unfounded,” Oobleck defended. “There are those in this world who would prey upon the young, hopeful and niave. If she is concerned for you, it proves that she indeed cares about you.”

Ruby cast her gaze behind her, landing on the heiress’s figure bundled in her sleeping bag. She smiled. “I guess it does. She’ll come around. I can feel it.”

“You are her leader and friend, and would know her better than I,” Oobleck explained, “if you feel as such, I’m sure it will be so.”

“Thank you, professor,” Ruby nodded. Oobleck opened his mouth, but Ruby quickly cut him off, “Doctor! Heh, sorry.”

Oobleck closed his mouth and smiled. With a nod, he left the young leader to resume her watch.

   ---

Weiss gazed over the city with blank eyes. It was her turn to watch camp, but her mind was engulfed by other thoughts. Truth is, she was wide awake when Oobleck prodded Ruby about the tension in the team. She heard the entire conversation, and it gave her plenty to think about. She knew her upbringing was oppressive, to say the least, but there had to be a line somewhere?

“Hey, Weiss?”

Her concerns weren’t baseless, that much Oobleck agreed with

“Um, Weiss?”

But was it really true that Ruby’s relationship could be fine? Healthy, even?

“Weeeiiiiissss?”

Weiss was ready to wait in the wings with an ‘I told you so’, but maybe-

“Weiss!”

“Huh?” Weiss spun around, finally broken from her train of thought.

“Finally,” Ruby sighed in relief, having finally gotten Weiss’s attention. “Are you still tired? We can swap watches if you need more rest.”

“No, I’m fine,” Weiss insisted.

“Alright,” Ruby shrugged, “anyway, I wanted to say I think I noticed something. It’s probably nothing, but I’m gunna go check it out.”

Weiss nodded, “don’t rush into something, okay? Call us if you need us.”

“I will,” Ruby promised.

Weiss nodded and cast her gaze back over the city once more. Ruby may not be a genius, but she was far from stupid. Crescent Rose alone could attest to that. And she is training to be a huntress, so it wasn’t likely the twins had physically overpowered her at any point.

I was ready to standby with an ‘I told you so’, but maybe that’s not how I should be thinking. And it won’t help Ruby should that come to pass. Perhaps I should support her now, and be there for her later if the worst indeed happens. And if it doesn’t happen, if Ruby’s relationship is valid…

“I don’t want to lose her as a friend,” Weiss finished her thought aloud.

The sunrise wasn’t far away, and soon the light and warmth of morning was rousing the sleeping hunters.

“Well!” Oobleck stretched and took a swing from his portable mug, “Who’s ready for a brand new day!?”

“Wait a minute,” Blake looked around, “something’s not right...”

“Yeah, where’s my sister!?” Yang noticed.

“What do you mean?” Weiss asked, “Isn’t she back?”

“Back?” Blake questioned in turn.

“She told me she was going to check something out,” Weiss explained, “and she promised to call in if it turned out to be, well, something. I never got a call.”

“And you didn’t notice she never returned!?” Yang shouted, “How long has she been gone!?”

“Girls!” Oobleck quickly took control of the situation, “now is not the time for anger. Whatever lessons this mistake can teach must be pondered later. First, we resolve the mistake itself. You leader may be in danger, and we must stay calm as we search for her.”

Camp was packed hastily and the group set out with no delay. Blake was the first to spot Crescent Rose, folded on the ground in front of a large sinkhole. Oobleck began a rant about sealed subway lines underneath the township, but Weiss could barely hear it.

She was looking forward to telling Ruby about her change of mind and hopefully mending their friendship, and subsequently the connection with the rest of the team, in the process. Now the girl was in danger and Weiss would regret it the rest of her life if she never got the chance to repair that particular bridge.

“Well, Weiss?” Blake broke through the heiress’s haze of thoughts, “You with us?”

Weiss quickly deduced what they were asking, not that it was very hard. They needed to go down into the dark. Weiss picked up Crescent Rose, steeling her resolve. She looked to the others and nodded, “Let’s go save our fearless leader.”

   ---

Melanie yawned as she leaned across the bar. “Why on earth are we awake again?”

“Because Junior agreed to host a wedding reception and he needed hands,” Miltiades reminded her sister.

“Who the hell has a reception at a nightclub?” Melanie stifled a laugh, “They’re probably under 20. I give them two months.”

“Don’t be rude,” Junior scolded, “They’re paying customers. Well paying customers.”

Melanie sighed. “Can you at least turn that off?” she pointed to the television currently displaying the morning news. “It’s putting me to sleep.”

Junior nodded and picked up the remote.

“Wait!” Miltiades stopped him, staring at the screen.

“What?” Melanie looked up and read the screen.

BREAKING NEWS: Explosion! Huntsmen and Grimm brawl in downtown Vale!

“Holy shit...” Junior read, “Don’t think that’s near us, though.”

“Mel...” Miltiades pointed again as the ‘huntsmen’ came into frame.

Black hair. Combat boots. Red cape. “Ruby!”

Now wide awake, Melanie dashed out of the club. Miltiades made to follow, but stopped short. The less brash twin didn’t want to leave without her boss’s blessing.

“Go,” Junior told her. Miltiades nodded and ran after her sister.

By the time the twins reached the battlefield, the chaos had already passed. Someone in handcuffs was being loaded onto an airship and a tall blonde the twins recognized as a Beacon teacher from the dance was talking to a man in safari gear. Ruby and her team stood close by. Blake spotted the twins first, nudging Ruby’s shoulder.

“Girls!” Ruby’s eyes lit up as she jogged over to them, “what are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Melanie turned it around, “I thought your mission was outside the kingdom, not blowing up downtown Vale!?”

Ruby, perhaps still high on battle adrenaline and victory, giggled.

“What?” Melanie asked, confused.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby continued to grin widely, “but you acting all super concerned like is adorable.”

In another rare display, Melanie stuttered and struggled to respond, simply crossing her arms as her face lit up.

“She does has a point,” Miltiades defended, “What happened?”

“Well...” Ruby searched for where to begin.

Before she could, the three were interrupted by an approaching Weiss. “So,” the heiress cut in, “Which of you is ‘Miltia’?”

The twins shared a silent conversation, quickly deducing this was Weiss. They crossed their arms defensively before Miltiades answered, “I am Miltiades.”

“And I don’t believe I have heard your name?” Weiss looked to the other twin.

“Melanie,” the white twin answered.

“I am Weiss Schnee,” the heiress introduced herself elegantly.

“We figured,” the twins answered in unison.

“Right...” Weiss nodded, slightly unnerved. She pushed through regardless, saying what she wanted to say. “I have made some comments recently that I have come to regret. And I apologize.”

Melanie raised an eyebrow at this while Miltiades cautiously lowered her crossed arms. Ruby placed her hand on her partner’s shoulder. “Weiss?”

Weiss lowered Ruby’s hand before continuing. “The team is trusting Ruby would let us know if anything untoward is happening, and I can’t deny you are making her happy. I won’t attempt to disguise that I still have my doubts… However, I look forward to the three of you proving me wrong.”

“Was that… acceptance?” Melanie looked to her twin.

“It sounded like it to me,” Miltiades answered.

“I knew it!” Ruby drew her partner into a crushing hug, “I knew you’d come around!”

“Off! Ruby, get off!” Weiss panicked, trying to pry herself away. “Get off me! Down! Down!”

Ruby let herself be peeled off, retaining her grin. “You like it.”

The heiress huffed, but made no real rebuttal. Instead, she turned back to the twins. “As much as I’m sure Ruby would love to run away with you right now, we’re still ‘on the clock’, so to speak, until we debrief at Beacon. I’m glad to have finally met the two of you.”

“Wait, we still haven’t heard what happened?” Melanie recalled.

“I’ll call you the second I’m free!” Ruby promised as she and Weiss walked back to their team. “I should be going before Professor Goodwitch gets angry. Well, angry-er. I love you both!”

Melanie frowned at missing the story. Miltiades supplied, “We love you too.”

As Ruby and Weiss fell back in line with the team, Ruby offered a, “Thank you, Weiss.”

Weiss smiled. “I know I don’t show it well, but I do appreciate our friendship. Same with Yang and Blake as well. You constantly show me how to better myself, really better myself and not just… well, you know.”

“Don’t worry, Weiss,” Ruby smirked, “We’ll have you wearin’ PJ pants all weekend with some wicked bedhead like the rest of us lazy commoners before you know it!”

“As if!” Weiss defended. “I will hold on to some decorum, thank you very much! There is a difference between elitism and harmless class.”

“You’re definitely a class act,” Yang jabbed.

Weiss turned to the blonde. “Yang, I-”

“Stop worrying,” Yang cut her off. She flashed a smile for good measure. “Just messin’ with ya, shortstack.”

Weiss returned the smile. “Brute.”