#(even when its objectively bad - movie anyone?)

[whyareyouhere66]

Omg cool I have an angsty request 😈(if you’re comfortable writing it<3)

Kind of Tom!Peter Parker x Male!Stark!reader x Tony Stark(platonic obviously) ??

Reader has a rocky relationship with his dad Tony, just wants his attention, to be seen by Tony etc. but once Peter joins and takes Tonys full attention reader just automatically hates him for ‘stealing his dad from him’. As time goes on reader just gets more hateful and jealous of Peter, maybe getting into fights with Peter on purpose. Suddenly there’s a new villain/anti-hero (??) that’s been interfering with there plans or just wrecking havoc to go after Peter. Plot twist when they finally catch them/they’re too hurt to keep fighting, it’s revealed as reader. You can make it as angsty as u want!

(A.K.A. Reader is Loki, Peter is Thor and Tony is Odin lol)

 AHH THIS

I love this trope-

So glad you requested this, (and thank you for checking stuff first) and enjoy

Also note that I’m not too fresh on the marvel timeline, if you notice anything that doesn’t exactly align with the movie than I’m sorry just brush past it- this also might be the longest fic I’ve ever written so 

Implied to be set around the start of Peter’s Spider-Man stuff. 

x

Look What You Made Me Do

Male Stark Reader x Avengers

“If I loved you, was a promise….

Would you break it, if you’re honest?” 

[idontwannabeyouanymore, Billie Eillish, 2017]

Cw: violence/fighting, Tony being a bad dad, slightest mentions of drinking, angst Kind of jumping straight into it too- 

I’ll fix a few things later I’m tired I want this one to be out and about

Named after a Taylor song, starting with a Billie lyric 💪💪 

If you were to ask anyone about the wealthiest men in modern day New York, it’s inevitable for Tony Stark to appear somewhere on that list.

He’s rich, handsome, a superhero. New  York’s knight in shining armor. 

Most believe his life is a dream, somehow oblivious to the fact that maybe a superhero doesn’t live life in the dream house. But when he’s made his brand through money, fancy houses, big parties, and shiny military weapons it’s easy for people to see no further than surface level.

That isn’t the case for his son, though. 

From a wealth aspect of it- the young Stark knows how grateful he is, how grateful he should be, for his father.

If it wasn’t for him, he wouldn’t be currently sitting in this large bedroom, with a view most would pay a couple grand for, wouldn’t be surrounded by the various expensive objects linked to his little interests. It doesn’t even matter how much Y/n would insist on paying- he never seems to think much of it. Maybe it’s his way of showing affection.

That’s what Y/n hopes, at least. 

Because if not- there’s not much there. Tony Stark has never been much of an affectionate person, some may blame it on his own father. Others would blame it on the business- no time for distractions on a long days work.

But neither of those reasons matter- for all his son ever wanted is for Tony to love him the way he wants him to.

-

Static crackles through Y/n’s small speaker, and quickly the boy perks up. A short glance  over and he finds the old Queen record spinning aimlessly, with the tone arm at the end of its songs.

Pushing himself off the bed, he walks over to the stand where Tony’s old record player sits. Taking the arm off- he flips the record over to side b, before returning it to its place. 

The intro of Queen’s “Hammer to Fall” begins ringing from the speaker, and a small, satisfied smile grows on Y/n’s face.

He hums the beat, nodding his head with it while turning back to his bed- but something catches his eye.

Outside, there’s two figures standing out front. One eyebrow raises, Y/n slowly steps closer to the window. 

“Who-?”

Recognizing his dad, dressed in his best suit, Y/n leans closer. The other figure isn’t quite as tall as Tony, and looks quite obviously nervous. 

Y/n furrows his eyebrows. 

….That’s Peter Parker.

What the hell is he doing at Stark’s house?

***

The sound of a backpack falling to the ground echoes through the foyer- and immediately it’s a sigh of relief. The sweet, sweet air conditioning here is heavenly in contrast to the one at school.

Y/n faintly feels a vibration in his pocket- grabbing it only to see multiple notifications coming from a group chat. 

‘What are they on…’ he wonders, scrolling through countless messages worth of nonsense. He goes to reply, when-

“Y/n!”

His head snaps up at the voice, echoing out from the couch.

‘didn’t realize he was home…’ he looks back at the window, finding his father’s car parked in the driveway. 

“Oh.” 

Deciding the group chat can wait, the teen wanders to where his father sits. 

“What’s up?” Immediately Y/n sees the  scattered papers piling on top of one another on the coffee table, the short crystal glass filled halfway with rum. You’d think he’d wait until at least five, but that’s not the Stark way.

“I found a uh, form on the coffee table,” his voice sounds bored, tired, “something about textbooks for school?”

Y/n notices the forms sitting at the edge farthest from Tony, as if they’d been pushed away as far as they could go. 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He says awkwardly, looking at the dirty laces of his shoes, “it’s fine, I got it.” 

“Well I can pay for them, if that’s what you’d like.” The eldest Stark shrugs, finally looking at his son from over the rim of his glasses.

Y/n almost feels embarrassed- when had he asked for that? He shakes his head, though it doesn’t hide the surprised look on his face.

“No, no you don’t have to-“

“Oh please, I got it, education is our future or something, right?” Tony shrugs, taking off his glasses and beginning to stand up from his chair, headed for the black leather wallet he’d left on the dining table. 

Y/n isn’t quite sure why he’s now rushing to step in front of his dad- there isn’t much harm in the gesture after all. Maybe he just doesn’t want the weight of depending on his father for everything to lay on his shoulders. Either way, excuses are already falling from his mouth.

“You really don’t have to, dad-“

“You’re acting like I’m handing you the presidents treasury,” Tony deadpans, “besides, you don’t have a job.”

Y/n pauses. 

“Wha- yes, I do-“ does his dad really not know about his job?

“Look, it doesn’t matter, I can get them used anyways-“

Before he can take one step closer, a nervous voice quips up from the doorway and ends the race for the wallet.

“Um, Mr. Stark?”

Curiously, Y/n and his dad snap their heads to see who has just joined them.

“Peter-?”

Peter Parker stands in the large door way, curled into himself with his backpack strap folded between his fist. His eyes are wide and questioning, looking between his classmate and his idol as if he had walked into the wrong room. 

Suddenly, Tony’s shoulders drop- and he’s no longer interested in any textbook or wallet. 

“Ah, Parker, didn’t think you’d make it.” He says bluntly, strutting away from his son and towards the obviously nervous boy. 

“Here, sit down kid.”

With the man’s hand pressed into his shoulder blade, Peter has no choice but to follow him towards the various seats lining the dining table. And from the side- Y/n watches, absolutely lost.

After he had seen his father and Peter talking, he kept it to himself. Knowing the boy, he had simply assumed Peter was asking for an autograph or a picture, just like half of the city. 

But now, he is in his house. At his table. 

What the hell is this?

“Um,” Y/n’s voice sounds blunt, almost too similar to his father- who’s already sitting down across from Peter with his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised, as if this was a press conference. 

Peter looks at him first, while his father throws a glance over his shoulder. 

“What’s this?” Y/n asks, pointing to the strange teenage boy sitting down in his seat. Tony tiredly leans back in the chair, twisting to the side just slightly so he could look at Y/n head on. 

“Y/n, this is Peter, Peter, this is Y/n.” 

“Uh, yeah, we know each other.” Peter pipes up, giving Y/n the shortest, most awkward smile it seems he could muster. Y/n’s face stays blank.

“Yeah, I meant what is he doing here?”

Tony doesn’t seem at all phased by the rude undertones of Y/n’s question.

“Peter is gonna work as my intern for a little while, I’m training him.”

Y/n’s eyebrows furrow. 

“For what-“

“Hey, quit interrupting, will you?” Tony dismisses him with the wave of his hand, turning around so he’s fully facing Peter. And Y/n lingers there, processing. He doesn’t like feeling like a shadow, not in his own home especially, but that’s the feeling that begins to overtake him.

Intern…? 

He tries understanding what that means- there’s many possibilities. Assistant, maybe. But when he looks between his dad and his classmate one last time, seeing that he’s been nearly forgotten in the room (aside from the short glances from Peter’s end) he turns around to retreat, fists clenched. 

His dad has had interns before, Peter likely won’t be much different. Possibly.

***

It’s been 5 weeks.

And multiple times, for each of those weeks, Peter has been somewhere mixed into the tangle of Tony Stark’s extensive schedule, far more entangled than Y/n has been for the past few years.

He shows up to dinner, trains at the Avenger’s tower. He comes knocking on the door randomly asking for life advice, or something- he’s everywhere.

It wasn’t even until week 4 that Y/n discovered the truth behind his sudden presence, when he saw the suit for the first time.

He has his own suit, god can you believe it?

Y/n watches on as Tony seems to easily bring Peter under his wing- hating how he has to avoid the burning green envy that burns his ears. How has Tony managed to take on the father figure role to Peter, when he barely manages that role with his own son?

‘It shouldn’t hurt this bad,’ y/n will think to himself, ‘you’re independent, relying on him will only make it harder in the long run.’

But he couldn’t help the hardened glare that arose every time he saw his dad, his own dad, bonding with someone else the way he had been wanting for what- 16 years?

Even now, sitting at the table, while the teen stares into the bowl of cereal in front of him, it’s just so irking to think about. 

His spoon scrapes the edges of the bowl, gathering the now soggy cheerios into a cluster in its silver dip. Then, they get lost in his mouth. Rinse and repeat- he does it over and over while staring a blazing hole into the wall. 

What is Peter doing that he can’t?

“Mr. Stark-“ 

Speak of the devil. 

Y/n’s grip on the spoon tightens.

Peter comes stumbling into the room, out of breathe as if he sprinted all the way here. He doesn’t even knock anymore, Y/n thinks, he’s made himself at home.

“Kid? What’re you doing here?” 

The nickname sends a shivering twitch through Y/n’s already sore muscles, tugging his face so he can’t control the annoyed look that comes through. 

They’re talking to each other now, Peter trying to tell a story far too quickly for either of them to follow. Y/n blocks their voices out.

His chair scrapes against the floor, and he grabs his bag to leave. 

“I’m going to school.” He says loudly, cutting off their conversation. 

“Oh, I guess I gotta go too-“ 

“No,” Peter freezes, looking at Y/n curiously, “no, no stay here longer why don’t you? Practically your house.” Venom leaks from his words, the sarcasm so loud it makes Peter flinch. 

“Y/n,” Tony groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. Y/n’s stare only hardens.

“What?” He snaps, now looking at his father. 

“Really?” Is all that Tony manages, before Y/n is rolling his eyes and spinning on his heel.

“(F/n) is waiting for me.” He grumbles, snatching his phone and stomping out of the room. 

How does his dad not get it? Is he so blind he can’t even see his own blatant favoritism? 

The look of exhaustion displayed on his face would make you think hes working day and night having to put up with Y/n’s attitude- yet he’s unaware he’s exactly what’s causing it. 

Y/n doesn’t want to blame Peter, in the back of his mind he knows that it’s his dad’s fault. But it feels like his father is being stolen.

But can it really be theft if there wasn’t much of him in the first place?

Y/n knows that he’s picking all the fights, starting all the arguments just so that twisted part of his head gets some satisfaction. 

It shouldn’t be working so well.

.

The young Stark doesn’t return home until it’s just about dark outside, his backpack hanging loosely off his shoulders. 

He walks the long halls of his home, past the doors that could either be a guest bathroom or a weapon closet. Even if there’s more entryways than doors, his father opting for large empty frames, he walks the length of it with no specific destination in mind. 

He isn’t too sure where he’s headed anyways, considering he’s passed the way to his bedroom already.

Through half lidded eyes he guides himself through this maze of a house, bitter jealousy bubbling in his lungs. It’s such a haunting thought, a looming presence, and he wishes he could push it down the drain but it seems that he can’t. 

“Stupid, stupid Peter…” he mumbles, hand grazing the wall beside him. 

Ned’s voice still rings in his ears, breathy from how he had been exercising for most of the class.

“You don’t know what he looks like- what if he’s like seriously burnt?”

“I wouldn’t care, I would still love him for the person he is on the inside.”

Of course it caught their attention- Peter’s little crush on Liz wasn’t hard for most to notice. 

“Peter knows Spider-Man!”

How horrible. 

Across the room, Y/n’s head snapped to where the pair was on the gym floor- Peter’s jaw slacked. It didn’t matter how much he tried to quickly say otherwise- Flash already had slid down the climbing rope with another remark slick on the edge of his tongue.

And Y/n watched on, eye twitching, feeling how his  friends slapped his arm in amusement. 

“I can’t tell if he’s for real or not-“ F/n mumbled from next to him. Y/n’s eyes never tore away from the scene playing out ahead, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah,” and his eyes squeezed shut, “me neither.”

Y/n’s fists curl together, knuckles scraping the wall for a moment before he’s pulling away.

It’s so frustrating. 

He’s walking further down the corridor, eyes sliding open just in time to catch a door left slightly ajar- and he pauses.

He’s passed the door many times, no doubt, but this time it’s different. There’s something pulling him inside, an unknown source that’s too intriguing to walk past.

Slowly, he pushes open the door. And there it is.

Old bins and cabinets with junk gadgets shoved inside- worn blueprints from his fathers old work. One eyebrow raises, cogs turning and grinding in his head.

There’s some things still in tact, some that have been broken apart and scattered about. Y/n kneels down to observe closer. 

He feels the smooth surface of a metal clasp against his fingertips, grazing the jumbled objects. 

This is his answer.

The backpack slides off his shoulders, thumping on the ground beside him. This room is one that his father doesn’t visit much anymore, now much more caught up in other things such as the Avengers, Peter, the scattered piles of paperwork that seem to constantly consume him.

And in the corner, there’s a bend in the wall partially hidden by a cabinet- if you were to tuck something inside, no one could see from the door frame.

Y/n already feels his mind blooming with ideas as he skims over the various parts and pieces in front of him.

If he can’t live up to his fathers standards, his fathers name, 

then he’ll make his own.

***

Multiple nights pass, weeks go by and Y/n finds himself spending the time after dinner until midnight cooped up in Tony’s old gear room. 

He likes to think it’s a family trait, something tying him to the Stark name, also known as his skill for parts. He can take a few glances at both his own notes as well as the old blueprints and suddenly have the necessary concept for a retractable weapon, built to strike out of an arm piece. And when he’s done, he simply drags it all into his tucked in corner- hidden until night falls again the next day. 

Time not spent at school, occasionally in his room, or in his new lab- is now spent taking full advantage of the gym on the higher floors. 

The Avengers don’t question it, barely even using it at the same time as him anyways. He’s planned it so no one is around to see the training he does, the work put in to not only muscle- but also skill.

He doesn’t have a vigilante name just yet- but perhaps that’s the fun in it. He’s totally anonymous.

And as the firm punching bag jerks beneath his incoming fist, he feels the creeping joy of power.

Y/n puts lots of thought into the first strike against the city- building an elaborate yet somewhat reckless attack plan, a formula. 

No citizen will get hurt- it’s only the churning, growing need for revenge he wants so badly to be satisfied. Among the jumbled emotions, and new discoveries, he knows what he wants, and he knows just who he wants to be.

Y/n Stark may never be the millionaire superhero his father is- but he will be something. Something that no one will ever expect.

***

“A new vigilante seems to be on the loose, unidentified. They’ve struck many times already, but police have noticed that, interestingly enough, among the pattern of crime scenes none of the main public areas or citizens have been hit. Could this be the work of an Anti-hero, perhaps? Down at the Avengers Tow-“ 

The anchorman’s voice is cut off, mid sentence, and Tony holds the remote firmly. 

Around him, on the expensive couches sit the Avengers themselves, but their faces are dulled by distress, their knuckles tense from a firm grip. 

“We gotta find this guy,” Bruce sighs, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. Beside him, Natasha agrees.

“If we don’t catch them soon, people will start doubting us.” She says it like it’s so simple, lips pressed into a thin line. Steve groans.

“They aren’t gonna start doubting us-“ he tries, but no one seems to believe him. 

“Oh really? Sounds like you’ve got some superstar solution then, huh?” Tony, always packed full of sarcasm, looks absolutely exasperated. He’s been looking tirelessly for this new ‘vigilante’ of the sorts - they don’t even seem to have a name. They work quickly and precisely, yet go at it with a powerful vengeance. Their skill- it’s almost something he wants to respect. 

The group begins to speak again, switching between civil turn taking and overlapping words. They don’t even notice the figure standing by the door. 

Y/n peaks his head around the door frame, watching these strong, powerful superheroes stressing over him. Oh, they just have no clue.

As they’re still talking, planning unknowingly within earshot of their own enemy- Y/n takes his notes. He listens, until finally he slips past the door and walks quietly down the hall as the sick, strong feeling of triumph sinks into his stomach. 

He’s got them.

***

The rumbling fill of chaos echoes from all around- machines jittering, codes breaking, and a light flickers down the hall.

Y/n stands at the center of the room, looking around at one of his father’s many warehouses from all around- this one being stationed north of his own home state- Maine, USA.

His dad brought him here only a few times as a kid, once or twice perhaps. He always hated it- still does, actually, hence the small bombs scattered across the place. 

It would be funny, to think that not even the Avengers have caught on to his pattern- but that may be jinxing it. Plus, he knows the common traits of each area he’s hit so far, the places holding the unjust power. This stop, though, he’s been waiting to finally hit.

“Stark Enterprises” - a sign once strung together in big letters, now laying at Y/n’s feet broken into pieces. The boy crouches down, picking up a chunk from the “E” and crushes it in his hands. 

Under his mask, he grins. 

His suit, not quite as advanced as those made by his father, fits him well. The sleeves are tighter, snugly wrapped around his biceps with streaks of purple running through the black material. Padding, like thin layers of armor, protect his torso and the pants are the most loose- cargo, with big pockets.

A mask is what pulls the whole thing together, though, concealing the entirety of his head underneath its black and purple coloring. 

Littering his hands, and even weaved into the material all across, are the gadgets he’s spent so many hours on. Rings sealed into the gloves have enough sharp metal twisted together inside that when activated, spread into blades. In the pocket around his waist band- is a button, the button, that with one push turns this warehouse into a cloud of orange and yellow. 

Y/n is still watching the crumbling sign fall from his palm, like grains of sand, when the door caves in behind him. 

“Put your hands up, tough guy, we caught you.”

Captain America, confident as ever, bursts in at the front of the group with his shield held high. Behind him, Tony, Peter, Natasha and even Bruce waltz right in after him. For a second- a glimmer of pride washes through Y/n’s body, they brought 5 to a fight against 1- he must be special.

“Yeah, times up buddy.”

Seeing his father, dressed in the famous Ironman suit, reminds Y/n of the whole reason this started- and another twisted feeling knots itself in his stomach.

The moment he’s been waiting for.

They can’t see him as he smirks underneath the mask, deciding to toy with them just a bit. He doesn’t speak- no one’s heard his voice when spoken through the filtered material yet. It seems they’ll be the first.

Y/n’s head cocks to the side, and raises an eyebrow- something the Avengers can see through the imprint of his mask. A challenge. 

Bruce’s battle cry cuts through the air- and suddenly the Hulk is charging. It startles Y/n for a moment, but quickly he steps to the side and lets the green giant crush the ground beside him. As Hulk gets back up, snarling and growling, Y/n is already grabbing a long beam, bent from where it fell with the rest of the Stark Enterprise’s sign, and strikes Hulk right in the gut.

The giant man stumbles slightly, yet still stomps forward. But Y/n isn’t in front of him.

“Hulk!” Natasha yells out, watching from across the room as Y/n comes from behind, mid air, wielding the same beam from before. Hulk is barely able to tilt his head an inch before the metal is crashing down into the area just below his head, and bruising his neck. 

He’s out within a few seconds, stumbling around clumsily while black dots tease his vision. Then, he falls to the floor.

“Well shit.” Steve mutters, bending his knees like a bull preparing to charge. He should’ve known sending in Hulk with no preparations would be a bad an idea.

“Sending the big one in first, huh?” Y/n looks at them cockily, “do you see me as a threat, Ironman?”

Tony raises an eyebrow, “oh look at that, he can talk.”  He doesn’t even skip a beat as his suit begins to whir, the arm unfolding so a mini blaster pokes out from the forearm. 

The vigilante barely has time to react as strings of energy are thrown his way, jumping and dodging each of them narrowly. Tony doesn’t wait for him to regain his footing though, flying straight towards his figure.

Steve eyes Natasha, gesturing for her to move. The woman obliges, creeping around the fight so Y/n’s back is in front of her. 

Ironman grabs Y/n by the shoulders, pushing down with such strong force that the latter is forced back a few steps. He holds the metal sleeves with a firm grip, and at first Tony doesn’t notice as the boy’s rings begin to scrape against the surface. Sparks fly like the touch of a welding torch, grazing the edges of Tony’s mask just in time for him to realize mini blades are beginning to prod at his suit. Y/n doesn’t hesitate to take the opportunity and shove the man away from him. 

Natasha watches closely, seeing how Y/n stumbles from the impact. She jumps at him.

Y/n extends his arm in her direction, not even turning all the way around, and his rings grow from small blades to a sharp spiral of metal pointing right at Black Widow’s chest.

She freezes, he smirks.

Of course, it’s not his intention for someone to die. That’s not what he does. This, well, is simply defense.

“How about we get right to the point.” He says, slipping his free hand into one of the pouches around his waist band. Out with it comes a cylinder- black and sleek with some sort of dial built in, a bright red button on top. 

Steve feels his stomach drop. 

“Pick a number.”

Tony, seemingly unaware of the detonator to have just been introduced, rolls his eyes, he’s growing impatient. 

“Alright, fine, 5- you wanna quit it with the games now?”

Big mistake.

Without skipping a step, Y/n is scrolling through digits on the small screen built into the detonator. It’s almost too quick for any of the Avengers to realize what he’s doing- and it’s far too late by the time they do. 

“Alright, then.” Y/n presses the button.

Steve goes to lunge forward, tries to make a grab for the device, but he waited too long. The whole room rattles, and the section just to the left of them suddenly bursts. Bombs. 

Y/n watches with a special glint in his covered eyes as everyone stumbles, yet his feet stay firmly planted in the ground. They’re startled, bits of the wall flying around and clattering against the floor. Peter snaps his head towards Y/n in shock.

“Who’s next?”

“Oh my god.” Peter mumbles, wide eyed. It’s the sound of his voice, his first time saying a word, that catches Y/n’s attention right away.

His teeth grind together, thumb smoothing over the button’s smooth surface. His mind mumbles, Do it again.

Staring into the large white panels of Peter’s mask, his guard is left fallen for just a moment too long. Tony sends one more blast his way. 

A jolt of pain seers through Y/n’s thigh. The energy was strong enough to surpass the material of his pants, leaving a heavy ache in the area. Y/n glares.

“You asshole,” he grunts, spinning the dial with his thumb before slamming down the button.

Above them, part of the ceiling crumbles.

Bits of concrete come tumbling down, Peter and Natasha diving for cover. But Y/n is no where near finished.

“How many bombs are there-“ Peter asks to no one in particular. His question is soon to be answered.

“Let’s not wait to find out,” Steve grunts, sprinting to where his opponent stands at the opposite side of the room. Y/n feels the previous feeling of confidence, the smooth and cocky facade, slipping away. He wants to win.

Each of Captain America’s hits clang against metal couplets clasped to Y/n’s wrist- chaos ensues around them. Tony firing shots, Peter surrounding the fight, Natasha running for a hit at close combat- and hulk just starting to stir from his little nap. 

But Y/n doesn’t let up- not until it’s too late.

A fiery blaze heads straight for him, straight for his face. It’s beginning to sizzle against his ears, he can feel it coming. But he doesn’t react in time, trying to defend himself from too many things at once. 

The blast, coming from his own father’s hand, hits him.

His mask begins to spark, edges curling into themselves as slowly, Y/n feels the right side of his face being revealed. 

His hand meets the wall, holding him up as he recovers from the impact. They haven’t seen him yet. 

He hears Steve’s heavy breathing from behind him, something so familiar it almost tricks his mind. Then, Tony’s voice.

“It only takes a few hits, huh? If I knew that’s all it took I wouldn’t have wasted so much time.”

More sarcasm, Y/n almost laughs.

“Who are you.” Natasha doesn’t even make it sound like a question, her voice strong and firm. 

Silence ensues, just for a moment, Y/n’s head is swimming. 

Yet, over all the thoughts and noise, one thing screams loudest over the rest. 

“Do. It.”

“Don’t you recognize me?” Y/n’s voice, no longer protected by a filter, is raspy and hoarse. He slowly turns around, head peaking out of the shadows.

“You know me already…”

.

.

Holy shit.

A loud clang echoes through the now dead silent room, the red white and silver shield rolling across the floor. 

“…Y/n?” 

Tony’s helmet folds into itself, revealing a sweaty face with wide eyes and a slack jaw. 

A bitter smile is what he receives.

“Dad.”

Tony looks around, dumbfounded. 

“I-“ he stutters, nearly speechless, “what- what the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Y/n steps forward, voice dry yet dripping with venom. 

Tony chokes, “being an absolute moron, that’s what-“

Y/n barks out a rough, quick laugh. “Ooh, rough.” He rasps. Steve steps forward, putting a hand onto Tony’s shoulder and pulling him back. It’s like a warning, silent communication because next, he’s the one to step forward.

“Y/n…” the words die on the tip of his tongue, throat running dry, but he still tries, “what- I mean, why?”

Y/n has begun to pace slightly, taking slow steps around the shocked group. He peels the mask away from his face.

“Yknow, most people tend to turn to the worst of their options when in a dark time,” he says smoothly, feeling each and every set of eyes watching while he walks. Hulk watches through blurred vision, completely disoriented. 

“I mean, hate to give you the classic origin story and everything, but…” 

“Hold on,” the thoughts are almost visible, loud and heavy in Tony’s head, “is this about something I did?”

So he’s finally getting it.

“What could Tony have possibly done?” Asks Natasha, and Y/n looks at his father directly.

“You don’t care, ok, that’s what-“ his voice is breathy, and he scowls, “You can’t even talk to your own kid, Stark. It’s like you don’t realize what I am, to you- what you are to me!” Anger rises with each word that shoots like poison from Y/n’s mouth. 

Tony gets defensive, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. “That’s not true, I know damn well you’re my kid-“

“Oh really? Cause you seem to have it a bit mixed up.” Y/n’s eyes flicker to Peter’s frame, and everyone tenses.

“Is…is this about Peter?”

At the mention of his name, Peter tears off his mask, a concerned, heavy look on his face. 

“I, Y/n it’s not like that-“ he tries, only to be interrupted.

“Yknow,” Y/n’s voice sounds so pained, “I always thought maybe you aren’t too upfront with your affection. For years, ok, I would wake up, go to school, come back, and go to bed all without saying more than a few words to you. Years, dad.” A lump is forming in his throat, but it’s too late to turn back now. “But then, out of nowhere, someone else comes into the picture and suddenly you’re taking him to lunch, you’re picking him up from school, basically spending way more time with him, than with me.”

Bold, bitter, and wavering- Y/n doesn’t stop. Even as his father, his classmate, the people he’d grown up with thinking were like family, just watch with feeling burning in their eyes. 

“Y/n,”

“You made it look so easy with him.”

“Hey, kid, c’mon-“

“Are you serious?!” Y/n yells in disbelief. “Are you gonna tell me I’m wrong? Is that it? I’m just exaggerating, or what-“

Tony straightens his posture, swallowing hard. 

Y/n’s face almost crumbles from the way his fathers face wavers. But he just doesn’t stop. 

“You can be the greatest hero in the world,” Y/n breathes, sweat sparkling around the frame of his face, “you can put on a face for the interviews, and train Peter to perfection,” a step closer, “but don’t forget that I’ve always been here too.” 

Y/n’s voice sounds so dark, unfamiliar and breaking, it’s gone raspy from the pounding drum of his heart beat. 

Ringing silence once more. 6 melting souls standing in the waste of their own troubles. 

Y/n feels budding tears threatening to spill.

“And now look what we’ve done.” 

[my-brain-soup]

I've Never Seen Luka, But Jon Kent Has

Basically I've never watched Luka but I read a fanfic where Jon gets the teen titans to watch it (parallels are drawn between Luca and Alberto and Jon and Damian) so now I will be watching it and writing the thoughts I have during it

No I will not give context and spoiler warning ig

Love the music during the studio logos

We love a superstitious king, I mean, I have a feeling he has a point

IF THEY HIT HIM IMMA BE SO PISSED

Awww, he's such a polite little guy

Luca is a farm boy!!! I love my little Jon Kent varient :)

I, too, would risk my life for shiny object

I, too, do the murder

OMG THEIR SO JON AND DAMIAN BUT LIKE BEING HUMAN IS BEING A VIGILANTE AND ITS THE SAME AS THEIR START BASICALLY I LOVE THEM

HE EVEN HAS THE SUPERMAN CURL

Dami would say he invented walking

And pretend he's not proud of Jon

THEYRE SO CUTESY

Bruno? Or Bruce...o... you get the idea

Sorry, they have Luca grab Alberto like that and expect me not to see them as the most adorable little guy love story? Their so crushing on each other

"You're so lucky your dad lets you do what you want," cue Superman's comment about Bruce getting hit on the head all the time

NO WAY THEIR SENDING HIM TO (basically) BOARDING SCHOOL TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE "bad influence" THAT IS ALBERTO

Yes! Grandma, my queen!

"We can do anything" I love this movie

MY FRIEND SMELLS AMAZING

God I don't know her name yet but I love her

JULIA OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT

We're not telling you our secrets! Tells secrets immediately.

FROM EVERYTHING YOU LOVE?????

I love Alberto so muchhhhhh

I love Mr dad human

Oh they know SOO many fish

No way everyone, including an adult, just saw that bitch rob some kids and didn't do shit

He is a sad little catfish

Why are his parents actually crazy

Aww, Alberto doesn't want to lose his friend

Noooooooo

Luca just wants to learn, and Alberto just wants to feel loved :(

How is the gayest looking dude there being homophobic?

When your new father figue wants to kill your entire species

Alberto got mad when Julia touched Luca's hand...

Why does Luca's hair looks like a croissant

NO LUCA WTF

I WAS ALMOST ON YOUR SIDE

GOD WHAT THE HELL

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT KILL YOUR NEW SON

FUCK.

IM NOT CRYING.

Nooooo

Their fort :(

BESTIE NO

NO ALBERTO MY BABY NO

STOP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY SO YOU DONT GET HURT. IT'S NOT GONNA WORK

God the organizer adult lady us such a bitch

Why is no one concerned that the scuba kid isn't coming up for air?

Aww, his little clap self tap in

It's totally about to rain

Well shit. Sometimes I hate when I'm right

WAIT WAS THAT ALBERTO

I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE WHEN IM RIGHT

FUCK

NO I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN

I love them so much!!!!

MR DAD HUMAN NO

MR DAD HUMAN YES

YAYYYY

KING

Is the mom the same person that voiced Aunt Cass in big hero 6?

YES LOVE ME THE OLD LADIES

BRO ITS SO ABOUT BEING GAY I LOVE THIS MOVIE

I decided it is a metaphor for older lgbtq people, feeling able to come out after younger generations have proved that times have changed, I love them

(They're sisters, so they're not together, but they can still be gay!)

BRO ALBERTO

THOSE LITTLE LOOKS

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE

JULIA 100% KNOWS

About his crush, not just Luca going to school

AHHHH HES SO SWEET

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, YOU NEED EACH OTHER

Their in love, your honor

THEIR LITTLE HAND HOLDING THING I CANT

IM SO MENTALLY ILL FOR GAY FISH

IM CRYING AGAIN

AHHH, THEY RIGHT EACH OTHER LETTERS

ALBERTO LOOKS SO SMITTEN WHEN THEY'RE ON THE PHONE

ALBERTO GETS HIS KNIFE

DOES HE BECOME A LIFEGAURD???

I love this movie

So much

DAMIAN ALSO HAS A CAT AND JON ALSO HAS A DOG

Also, here is my formal apology, her name is spelled Giulia, my b

Alberto learns to carve wood, awww

Also, does Luca EVER get shoes?

I've decided I need an Alberto to become a tattoo artist future au, at least like on the side or for fun or sm

The dedication is adorable

Yes, I just watched all of the credits. What about it?

I was rewarded with an after credits scene, so fuck you.

I'm gonna watch all the deleted scenes now, I'm not gonna specify which one so have fun guessing

Haha, they called Alberto and Luca the main relationship

BOO STOP TRYING TO GIVE LUCA A CRUSH ON GIULIA

YES! CONFORMED LUCA A GIULIA ONLY PLATONIC

YES ALBERTO CHEER ON THE KRAKEN AGAINST THE HUNTER

Also, she was almost a photographer, like TIM DRAKE?!?!?

Don't worry, Luca, I'll ride in a barrel lit on fire down a hill with you

Awww, they were raised by a lobsterrr

BRING BACK CANNED SEA MONSTER FACTORY

OH SEA MONSTER CAN PASS BUT IF THEIR FOUND OUT THE CONSEQUENCES MIGHT BE REALKY DIRE??? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME.

Oh, Jon is extremely charming

I love how they used different animation styles (in how they had the characters move) on land and in the water

PH THE TRANSFORMATION ISN'T CELEBRATED IN LUCAS FAMILY AND HE MAKES IT A CONSIOUS DEASITION TO CHANGE HIS THINKING FROM I SHOULDNT DO THIS TO I SHOULD EMBRASE THIS? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME

Bro, not the first version where Alberto outs Luca to Giulia, eek

And finally, Ciao Alberto!

Aww, Luca wants to see to Portorosso!

THE GAY OLD LADY SISTERS ARE DEFINITELY CLOSE WITH ALBERTO, AND I LOVE IT FOR ALL OF THEM

He finally has people who care about him!!!

AWW ALBERTO JUST WANTS MR DAD HUMAN TO BE PROUD OF HIM

Alberto, you do NOT got this

DONT LIGHT THE BOAT ON FIRE

OH SHIT

Noooo!!! Don't leave!!!

YOU'RE NOT HIS EMPLOYEE, YOU'RE HIS SON

HE CALLED HIM DAD!!!

YAY HUGS

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

MY HEART

I CANT

I love Alberto being an artist (a bad one, for now, but still and artist)

Okay, that's it, Ciao :)

[lmskitty]

I'm trying to function at work but no thoughts head empty only Satoru Gojo bf headcanons. ( A lot of which I've discussed with @ellionwrites on occasion because I simp for Gojo hard. God help me)

I bet he'd give the best hugs.

I bet he ruffles you on the head when he sees you and messes your hair up everytime.

He constantly calls you sweetheart, baby, honey all sweet terms of endearment.

I bet he buys you sweets while he's on trips away and then fucking eats them all on the journey home and you can't even be mad about it because its him and he does this EVERYTIME.

Like he's objectively the worst boyfriend.

He's not actually gods gift at sex (though he thinks he is) people have thrown themselves at him for so long he's never had to really put much effort in and that has meant you've actually had to teach him a few things. It's ok though he is definitely a fast learner and treats the whole experience like a challenge.

He has issues with sensitivity due to the infinity and gets overstimulated. Hes got a good refractory period thankfully but he tends to put off penetration for a bit because he knows letting anyone past his barriers is intense. Super into kink, loves being tied up, loves pegging. Loves you on top so he gets to watch your expressions.

(from the light novel CANON CONTENT BABYYYY)

His bad habit though is he just fucking warps away just after sex and leaves you in the wet patch after he said he'd get you a glass of water and then doesn't understand why you're so mad when he texts you like TWO weeks later

"u up? ❤️❤️❤️"

And of COURSE you let him back in the house because come on?!? How could you deny him when he pulls his blindfold up and gives you puppy dog eyes and he's so lovely and cuddly and he's just had his hair done so you get to run your fingers through that soft undercut but then you realise the next morning he's eaten all your fucking cereal again and has disappeared before you even got a goodbye.

He sends you a picture of you snoring later and tells you he misses your cute face. It's like the worst picture of you ever.

(he makes the picture of you snoring his wallpaper and won't let you delete it)

He never replies back to messages and is ALWAYS late for your dates but god he makes you laugh so much your stomach hurts and he likes to take you out on shopping dates and buy you everything you even remotely glance at.

Hes a giant nerd. He loves a good movie date with you, lays on your chest while you stroke his hair on his ridiculously large and comfortable sofa and you always think he's gonna use the proximity to seduce you but NOPE he just talks through the whole damn film about the film and his theories and weird behind the scenes stuff. If you try and kiss him he shushes you because he wants you to concentrate on the cinematography.

He's the worst and also the best and I miss him so much.

[elsweetheart]

just had the worst most longest day at work but then left and saw this…..i am soooo listening and immediately healed

m so sorry u had a bad day:(((( hope tomorrow is a bit better ily <33 was thinking abt how much i luv ur asks earlier i get so excited everytime u send one <3

but yes okay so omg

abby would love to just like… pussywarm u if that makes sense. you’ll be laying on the couch together watching a movie and she’ll just stick her hand down the front of your underwear and cup your pussy :( just her whole big hand engulfing it and it just makes u so subby so fast like omg just clinging to her bicep pressing ur mouth to her whining, not even bc u particularly want her to finger u (tho u wouldn’t object and it usually ends up that way eventually) but just cos it feels so good and primal like she’s holding ur pussy cos it’s hers yk??😵‍💫

or just slow makeout sessions standing on your knees either side of her lap where you’re sucking on her bottom lip as mentioned, making it all red and plump and breathing heavily into her mouth whilst she literally holds you by the pussy, fingers digging into your panties, just keeping it nice and warm whilst u soak through the fabric :((

if you’re in public even and she boxes u into a corner, obscuring anyones vision from u she will have a casual conversation w you, looking down at u talking all calmly and force her hand between your thighs to just hold you there over your clothes, and when u whine and look around making sure no one can see she’s like “its okay, just touching my girl.” all reassuringly and low in her throat and it just makes u wanna scream

[roseblog-rog]

She Actually Built a Shrink Ray…

(contains g/t mouthplay, g/t fearplay, and dubcon)

My best friend—Jamie—told me a while ago that she was working on a big project. After some prying from my end, she revealed it was going to be some sort of laser that would…do something with, like, atoms? And it would decrease them…I think? Maybe? When she started using science talk I kinda zoned out.

But she eventually dumbed it down for me, saying it would make whatever object it hits far smaller, which actually kinda made sense.

“So, a shrink ray? Like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?”

“Yeah, something like that…but what the fuck are you talking about? Shrinking kids n’ shit??”

“WHAT??? YOU DON’T KNOW THAT MOVIE???? IT’S A CLASSIC!”

“Nah you made that shit up.”

For someone so smart she’s a complete dumbass. Or maybe it’s just not a popular movie…

Anyways, it’s not that I doubted her ability, per se, but I was highly skeptical about whether that was even possible. I mean sure, the idea of shit from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids being real was very intriguing…but could she do it?

That question was finally answered today when she sent me a text saying ‘HAZELLLLL COME OVER NOWWWW ITS SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT 😱😱😱’, and I arrived to her house only to be dragged to her lab where I found…well…a big laser. It really did look like something out of a movie, appearing very similar to Wayne Szalinski’s own creation.

This is where I am now: staring at the large machine, shock and some slight skepticism evident. “Is–is this…?”

“You bet your ass it is! Here lemme show you.” She ran over to a box containing several big red building blocks, taking one out and putting it on a stool where the laser was aimed. She then moved over to some sort of control panel and fiddled with some switches until the tip of the laser was glowing yellow.

I watched in awe; her genuine scientific prowess never ceases to amaze me. Still, I couldn’t help but make a remark. “Y’know, I honestly expected the beam to be red. Maybe some blue glow mixed in.” I smirk.

She glared at me playfully. “Well sooorryyyy it’s not exactly like your stupid obscure movie.”

We laughed as she finished activating the machine. She beckoned me to her side and we both watched as an actual laser was fired onto the building block, making it glow in a similar shade to the beam itself. My mouth then hung open in complete awe as I watched the once large block slowly shrink until it was about as big as a fingernail. She then turned off the machine, and we both went to look at the results. Sure enough, the block was intact, and I picked it up between my fingers to get a closer look.

Well holy fucking shit. The block was exactly the same aside from the now smaller size, and I could see Jamie grinning out of the corner of my eye.

“This is…this is, well, revolutionary.” I couldn’t believe she built this thing, still caught up in the shock of it all.

“Oh but thats not all! Put the block back on the stool.” She instructed, rushing back to the control panel. I could tell she was just as excited about this as I was, if her happy little bounces and giggles were any indication.

I placed the block back and returned to my position beside her, noticing the tip of the laser was now glowing purple instead of yellow. The process then repeated, only this time I watched the block grow back to its original size. Incredible.

“I still can’t believe you actually managed to pull this off…”

“You saying you doubted me?” She gave me another lighthearted glare. “Aaaaanyways, you ready?”

Ah. Right. Because I love and trust Jamie more than anyone, also seeing her capabilities firsthand, I volunteered to help test her machines as a human subject. Is there an ethical issue with this arrangement? Maybe, but it’s cool.

However…

While nothing bad has ever happened to me as a result of previous tests, Jamie has a tendency to…mess with me during the process. She knows her machines more than I do, therefore knowing exactly how to fuck with me. Like the time she built some sort of emotional amplifier, activating it whenever I laughed until I was quite literally pissing myself and breathless on the ground laughing. Or the time she built that stupid artificial spider drone—Jeffrey, the fucker—and kept making it crawl into my peripherals to scare the shit out of me.

I love her to death but she can be a real pain in the ass during tests, using my misery to fully test the capabilities of her machines. The sadist.

This time though…this time was different. I would be completely at her mercy, too tiny to do anything but accept whatever she does. It was…thrilling, honestly. Will it be scary? Probably. Will I get annoyed? Maybe.

But she wouldn’t hurt me.

“Yeah yeah okay whatever, let’s get this over with.” I sat down at the stool, and Jamie gave me a knowing smirk. I watched the laser—which was now pointed at me—start to glow yellow again, but despite the nerves I could never miss a joke opportunity.

“I am not missing the mall today.” I huffed and rolled my eyes, truly embodying my inner Amy. Jamie just stared at me with the most deadpan stare I’ve ever seen.

“I am so glad I finished building this so I don’t have to deal with your bullshit about this movie you’re so obsessed with.”

“Oh cmonnnnn. Youuuu loveeee meeeeee~” I taunted in my singsong voice. But at that moment she smiled and the machine was activated.

The feeling of the beam hitting me is…hard to describe. The best word I can think of is tingly. An almost soft and fuzzy sensation filled my body as I watched the world around me get bigger and bigger. It was one thing to see an object shrink, but a whole different experience to actually see the world grow while you get smaller. Tables grew taller, tools became gigantic, things that were once so close by slowly felt miles away. Even the stool I was sitting on transformed into more of an open landscape in my eyes.

After some time the world stopped warping around me, and I stood up to take in my surroundings. I was so familiar with Jamie’s lab, and yet it seemed like a completely new room from this perspective. I could notice cracks and rough edges around me with more clarity, notice particles of dust flying through beams of light. I glanced down from the stool and it felt like I was on top of a whole fucking mountain. This was absolutely insane, like h—

“Holy shit!” Jamie’s voice boomed through my ears, and I had to raise my hands to cover them from the vibrations that practically shook my whole body. My ears started ringing. A shadow now loomed over me, and looking up I could see Jamie towering above. From the look on her face, though barely legible due to the distance, she seemed to notice my more sensitive hearing.

“Oops, sorry Hazey.” Her voice fell to a calmer speaking tone, which no longer rattled my eardrums as I slowly lowered my hands. “I can’t believe that actually worked!”

I laugh, smirking. “Oh look who’s doubting herself now.”

She pauses for a moment, then speaks again. “I can barely hear you.” She chuckles. “That’s new.”

“Hey!” I pout, also noticing she’s cupped her hands. She lowers them down to the stool, and it looks like an offer to climb in. I accept, stepping onto her palm and balancing myself.

“Just don’t lift me up too—“ I feel her hands rocket up towards her face, and I fall over from the sheer force of it. Dark spots quickly faded in and out of my vision “…quickly.”

She chuckles softly. “Sorry about all this, you’d think I’d have thought about how to properly treat you with how much preparation I did.” I stood back up and met her eyes. They were huge, and I could really take in the rich shades of brown within her irises. “But speaking of you,” she left me standing on one hand while she moved the other to ruffle my hair with her pointer finger, “you are so fucking cute! You’re like a little speck on my hand!!”

I blush furiously, not used to being the short one. “Hey! I’m not that small!” Being in her hand I could see I was about the size of half her finger.

“Awwww poor wittwle thing~” She continued to coo and rub the top of my head. I hate the fact that it actually felt really good. Is this how she was gonna mess with me this time? Taunting me for being short?

“Stoppppp!” I whined through giggles, starting to melt at the contact but being unable to actually do anything about it. I already know my face is completely red. She knows me too fucking well.

Her finger starts to softly shove me around a bit, rubbing ever so often. I get a bit dizzy from the overwhelming tenderness of it all.

“Hehe! You’re such a fun little toy!”

That comment makes my mind and heart stutter, and I really start to take in just how powerless I am in this situation. I begin feeling a bit of wetness in my panties, but try to keep those thoughts at bay. As far as I know, Jamie isn’t interested in sex or anything of the sort. Besides, we’re friends. I’ll just enjoy the soft shoves and rubs and coos, that’s more than enough.

But then I notice that blush has crept onto her face as well, and she slowly smirks as her finger stops playing with me. She gently pinches the back of my shirt, lifting me up, and now I’m really helpless. I instinctively and slowly start to flail around to free myself from her grip, but to no avail.

I’m in front of her mouth now, and her lips are slightly parted. I can feel how heavy she’s breathing, warm air pushing out and brushing against my skin. Her breath smells nice, it’s honestly kind of soothing.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Sorry in advance.” With that being my only warning, she fully opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out. She’s salivating a lot, and the realization of what she’s doing dawns on me.

“Wait! Wait wait wait wait!” She drops me onto her tongue as I beg and squirm, but no matter how much I try to crawl off of her tongue I cannot get any sort of grip. I keep slipping and falling helplessly as her tongue snakes back into her mouth with me on it.

“No no no no no please! Jamie!” But it’s too late. I’m fully inside her mouth at this point, her tongue now flipping me over to hold me down against the bottom of her mouth. I try to push myself out, but she’s too strong. I feel tears start enter my eyes.

“I don’t mean to scare you. I swear I’m not like…eating you or something. I just…” She trails off, and her mouth fully closes.

I honestly never realized just how dark the mouth is when closed, because it’s open whenever I look into mine. But now I get the real experience. It’s dark. Very dark. The air around me is also very thick and humid, the warmth of her tongue and copious amounts of saliva contributing heavily. It also smells completely like Jamie’s breath in here—I mean, obviously—but overwhelmingly so. I can hear her breathe through her throat from my position under her tongue.

Her throat. Right.

Well, she said she wasn’t gonna eat me…but what the fuck is happening then? Is this just another scare prank? Is she secretly a cannibal and just lied to make me struggle less? I’m at a complete loss.

I feel her moving around now, hear her searching through drawers for something. The vibrations of her footsteps ripple through the mouth, bouncing me between her wet tongue and the floor. As scary as this is, the warmth is comfortable, and the moisture surrounding me is actually pretty arousing.

Fuck, I’m trapped in my now-giant friend’s mouth and all I can do is be a whore. Typical, honestly.

I try to move again but I’m still being held down, and suddenly I hear Jamie stop searching. A breath of relief moves up through her throat and out her lips, giving me a brief glimpse of light before it is snuffed out once again.

I’m not even scared anymore, honestly. I’m just bored. This sucks actually. If you’re gonna scare me like this at least up the stakes.

I feel her move around some more until she sits down on what is either a couch or her bed. Regardless, I felt the bounce.

“Jamieeeeee!” I try to yell out to her, hoping she hears me from in here. “What the fuck is going on?!” I need answers and if nothing else I can try to get them.

“Just—! Please let me have this.” I’ve never heard her like this before, voice so shaky and desperate. I feel some fear creep back in, but this time it’s for her rather than me. “I need you, Hazel.” I’m still confused until I hear the familiar buzz of a vibrator.

Oh.

Oh shit.

She…this…huh????? I can barely process what this actually means before I hear moans reverberating up from her throat, the pool of saliva around me starting to grow. I can feel her body start to shake with arousal, also starting to notice her tongue snaking back.

I’m able to stand up now, but it takes extra effort with how soaked I am in saliva. It’s heavy and slick, almost keeping me down. I can feel my clothes completely stuck to my body, making it very obvious that I’m hard. My heart rate and breathing are also picking up, both from shock and the resurgence of my arousal from before getting put in here.

Then her tongue leaps at me before I can react, pushing me against her gums repeatedly as I squirm to break free. It’s bigger than my entire body, each lick completely drenching me in more gooey spit. As much as I should be disgusted, this sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s so warm and wet and comfortable, sending tingles of pleasure from my crotch throughout my entire body. Her moans pick up with each lick as well, and I truly start to realize just what she meant when saying ‘I need you.’

Her tongue quickly gets more frantic and suggestive, lapping my entire lower body from my feet up to my crotch, and I already feel incredibly sensitive and brainless as the motions continue. I can’t help but join Jamie in moaning. Instinct overtaking me, I remove my clothes as best I can while being bombarded with wet sensations. I manage to get my shirt and bra off first, and Jamie quickly notices what I’m doing as she focuses her tongue movements towards my now exposed upper body instead. This makes her moan even louder, if that’s even possible at this point.

My pants come next, and this takes some effort given how wet and sticky they are, combined with the fact that I’m still being licked mercilessly against a giant row of teeth. When the pants are lowered enough to reveal my panties, Jamie moves her tongue back down to my crotch. With one less cloth barrier, the overwhelming sensations are too much to handle, and I orgasm. I can feel my panties grow even wetter despite how soaked they already are. Jamie stops for a moment, taking in the taste of my leakage as it drips down my thighs and into the pool of saliva below me. Her tongue feeling me up as I continue to leak honestly feels so pathetic, and I can’t help but whimper.

Once Jamie finally realizes just what she’s tasting, she goes feral. Her tongue picks me up and shoves me over to her molars, placing me down carefully only to bite specifically at my pants and panties to rip them off. I’m finally completely naked. I’m then forcefully sent sliding towards her lips, pushed through so that my upper body dangles out of her mouth while my legs stay inside. She has her lips pressed tightly against my crotch, and she begins sucking on me while simultaneously licking relentlessly at my taint. It’s too much, sliding back and forth on her lips like this, grinding against such intense moisture, feeling that giant tongue absolutely lick me clean. I can’t think straight.

My vision is blurry in the light after having been in darkness for so long, but I can see Jamie vibing her clit. She’s shaky and wet, her frantic breaths pushing against my body as I rest my upper half against her lower lip.

I already feel close to a second orgasm, but then Jamie’s vibrator turns off. Her mouth opens wide, tongue licking her lips while I’m dragged along against her skin underneath. I’m then plucked up by my legs, dangling in front of her face. I am completely drenched, drop after drop of saliva falling down and hitting her body. We’re both breathing heavy, faces red. She looks at me, and from my upside down view I can see her smile before I’m sent down between her thighs.

Warm. That’s the first word that comes to mind. I’m shoved against her clit, and I immediately start humping. We’re both completely soaked so the grinding is smooth. Jamie’s moans from high above me reverberate through my ears, and I can feel her get wetter by the second. Her grip doesn’t let up, and she actually starts to rub me against her forcefully. She doesn’t need her vibrator now, she can just use me. I cum again, becoming even more slicked up as I’m slid up and down across her crotch. I can’t tell whether I’m more covered in her saliva or my cum anymore, I’m too brainless and soaked to process. She is in complete control of me; I’ve become nothing but her glorified sex toy.

She starts tensing, squeezing her thighs together tightly, and she quickly shoves me inside her hole. It’s a similar environment to the mouth but far more constrictive. Oppressive. Her walls push against me as I squirm and stimulate her, barely being able to breathe from her scent and moisture completely overpowering me.

Finally, she cums, and I hold my breath as I am once again completely drenched in her. I manage to get pushed out right in between her thighs, stuck pressed there until she unclenches. It’s all so much, so many new and euphoric sensations. I’m breathing heavier than I’ve ever breathed before, feeling like I might pass out at any moment. Yet I cannot stop myself from huffing her scent like my life depends on it, cannot slow my racing heart after everything that just happened to me.

When she unclenches, I do not go sliding down her thigh. Rather, I remain stuck there, practically webbed by the saliva and cum I’ve quickly become accustomed to being drenched in. Strings of fluid connect me to her other leg. I want more. I can get an explanation later, I just need to be back in her mouth again. Back inside her. I already feel myself start to dry up and I whine, trying to squirm out of the adhesive I’m trapped in.

I hear a breathless chuckle from above as I am carefully ripped from my prison, once again left dangling in front of Jamie’s face.

“Wow, so d-desperate for more? I g-g-guess I was right. You are a fun little toy.” She stutters and takes deep breaths as she speaks, likely just as brainless from pleasure as I am.

“P-please put me back in your mouth. I need—I need to feel your tongue again.” I blush furiously at the plea, already feeling myself ready to cum again. This is so fucked.

“Of course, Hazey. Anything for you.” And with that, Jamie opens her mouth and drops me inside once again.

Feeling the warmth of her breath and saliva is a comfort I could never take for granted. Her tongue is gentler this time, hums of approval ringing from her throat as she savors every taste of me. I let myself relax for a bit as she feels me up, catching my breath while still feeling highly aroused from the licking. Once my heart rate is under control, I slowly stand and wrap my body around her tongue as best I can. I then begin to thrust myself into it over and over again, my cock sliding against the impossibly warm and slick surface. It feels amazing.

A chuckle sounds from Jamie’s throat as I hump, and I feel her body rise as she begins to—presumably—clean up. I’ve gone from a sex toy to a simple form of stimulation for her mouth. A thing to mindlessly flick around and play with while she goes around and focuses on other tasks. The thought makes me blush ever so slightly more.

I feel myself get close to a third orgasm, but her tongue quickly goes back to overpowering me, pushing me towards her molars once again. This time, however, she bites down on me. Not enough to injure or kill me, but enough to keep me trapped with just enough pain that I still feel good. My lower body is facing her tongue, but I cannot see what it’s actually doing. From the feel of it, it doesn’t seem like she’s doing anything to me anymore. Is she just going to leave me here? Prevent me from reaching the orgasm I was so close to? My train of thought is interrupted, however, when her tongue suddenly goes to fondle my crotch and taint. The surprise of receiving such overwhelming sensations out of nowhere makes me moan loudly, feeling myself just on the edge of cumming.

But. Then she stops again. Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

She repeats this process multiple times: fondling me by surprise only to stop just before I orgasm. No matter how much I try to squirm out of her teeth, how much I try to maneuver my arms to touch myself, it’s no use. I quickly become brainless and whiny, eventually deciding to cry out pleas for her to let me cum.

After enough begging, she finally relents, licking me once again but this time without stopping. I’m still trapped under her molars, but I thrash around wildly as I’m finally able to let myself go all over her tongue. I all but scream as the feeling fills my body. I don’t care how embarrassing it may sound, all I can focus on is releasing my pent up pleasure all over her. I feel each burst of cum exit me, all of which bringing more and more pangs of overwhelming euphoria. More and more pathetic sounds. I feel elated. Wet, shaky, dizzy, and elated.

As I come down from the climax, her teeth let me go. I look at my body to see massive red teeth marks across my chest. Woah. I try to stand up, but I’m so shaky and filled with pleasure that I immediately fall over. Her tongue takes that as an opportunity to pick me up and bring me towards her lips. Her mouth opens and I am released once again, only this time her tongue slowly angles down so that I slide off into her cupped hands below.

She holds my small and soaked body tenderly as I regain my senses, raising her hands so I’m at eye level. I look at her face and am shocked to see tears falling down rapidly.

“I’m sorry Hazel! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m s—“

“Hey hey hey! I’m okay! I don’t know what that was, but I feel fine. Good, even!” I try to comfort her, sitting up and gently rubbing her palm with my hand. “Although, I would like to ask…why? Why did you do all this?” Sue me, I wanna know.

Jamie sniffs, the tears not slowing down. “I—I—I’m in love with you, Hazel.”

I freeze, and for a moment my heart stops. I say nothing, and she continues.

“And—and I was too afraid to ask you out or admit my feelings because you’re so…” She looks closely at me now, eyes filled with stars at the sight of me. ME?? “…you. I’ve loved you for a while now; your smile, your voice, your authenticity, your laugh, your jokes, your absolute beauty, even your stupid fucking movie obsession.” I wet chuckle at that, feeling tears falling down my eyes as well. “You are the only person I ever want to love, Hazel…and I ruined it. I got too desperate. I used you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I stand up now, and gesture for her to move me closer to her face. She complies, and once I’m close enough I rush to hug her cheek. I really start bawling now, so overwhelmed from the affection.

“I—I’ve loved every moment spent with you, Jamie! You’re so fucking smart and funny and sweet and an absolute dumbass. There isn’t a part of you I don’t want to cherish. I…I love you too.” I manage to get out through sobs, feelings I had no idea were there finally coming up to the surface. “To be honest…I didn’t think you’d ever want to be with, well, someone like me.” I step back from her cheek now, wrapping my arms around myself in a pitiful hug.

Jamie bends her head forward, pressing a giant but soft kiss onto my head as I cry. “Oh, Hazel…you know that doesn’t bother me. I mean shit, I watched by your side as you slowly become the person you’ve always wanted to be. It’s admirable! You’ve become so much happier and genuine with yourself. So much prettier. How could I not love you?”

I full on wail at that, and she presses me close to her chest as I sob. The rhythmic beats of her heart slowly calm me down, and my breathing eventually begins to level.

“Do—do you mean that, Jamie?” I clutch her shirt as I brace for the inevitable ‘Just kidding! You’re gross!’

But it never comes.

“Every word, Hazel. I want to love you for the rest of our lives.” She gently takes one of her hands to rub the back of my head as I quietly cry into her shirt.

“So do I.” I manage to get out, and I feel her heart stutter ever so slightly.

“You mean that? Even after…what I did?” Jamie sounds nervous, just as afraid of rejection as I was. But she never has to worry about that. Not with me.

“I do. I really mean it. I could never hate you or leave you. I never want to spend a moment without you in my life.” I press a kiss onto her chest. “Besides, I was into it.” I full on laugh and Jamie can’t help but laugh too.

“Oh and I’m the dumbass?” She holds me even closer to her body, seemingly never letting go any time soon. Good.

When we both stop crying after a while, Jamie is the first to speak again. “So…do you want me to grow you back to normal size?” From a nearby window, I can see it’s dark out now. I am exhausted.

“Can…can I stay like this for the night? Sleep on your chest?” It was an embarrassing request, but I knew she wouldn’t care. She would probably tease me a bit though.

“Awww! You are adorable!” Speak of the devil. “Of course you can stay small tonight…though I think I accidentally swallowed your clothes.” I chuckle at her guilty expression, and resolve to just stay naked to sleep…as long as I can dry off first.

After we both get ready, Jamie lays down in her bed, and I rest in my position next to her heart, her hand serving as a blanket for me. This was an absolutely confusing and…surprising start to our relationship, and I had no idea what the days ahead would bring, but I knew we would figure it out.

I smile as the warmth of her body and pulses of her heart lull me to sleep.

~

Shoutout to my wife @flowers-but-gay for being my smart dumbass and describing how a shrink ray would potentially work only for me to dumb it down 😭

Also shoutout to Eve @specksizedgoddess for brushing the dust off my g/t kink and getting me back into writing

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

Heaven is not entirely on the wrong – a hazbin hotel theory #2 – Exterminations

Something that is often overlooked or sugarcoated a bit in Hazbin amidst all the goofy songs and trust exercises, is that Hell is terrible. There I said it. Hell is a blood terrible place to be. It’s a place of eternal torment, and a prison, a container if you will, for the most terrible of people that have walked on earth. (Let’s not forget that fan favorite Alastor was a psychotic serial killer when he was alive, and still is a master puppeteer, a manipulative, powerful owner of countless souls that is undoubtedly cruel.)

            Murder. Manipulation. Abuse. R*pe. They all exist in abundance down there. And for the average sinner down in the pride ring, things are tough. After being exposed to all that and worse even – as we glimpse with Angel, and Husk – your average sinner is left severely traumatized, if not also physically hurt (regenerative abilities, so idk). To put it simply, hell is a hellish place. And even our beloved princess of Optimism in all her naivete sees it and wants to help. Thus, the plan for rehabilitation and getting a postmortem chance at redemption. (Though how many of them can be redeemed? And does it count if they only do it in fear of punishment? What about metanoia? Is it sincere? What if someone breaks through that shouldn’t have?)

            Hell is overpopulated and here comes heaven with its plan of annual exterminations to keep the population on the down low. And Adam who does it purely for his own entertainment. And Sera who internally struggles with having given the okay for them. (We’ll get to her in a bit, though).

            Here comes the controversial part. If Hell is such a terrible place to be, and no one wants to be there, isn’t killing sinners a way of freeing them from their torment? (It sounds bad I know, and I don’t intend to turn this to an assisted – suicide / euthanasia debate). And if they are “worthy” see rehabilitated, aka have regretted what they’ve done, aka can be redeemed their souls are cleansed and free to ascend to heaven.      

We are not talking about exterminators, we are talking abt exorcists. And if you are familiar with at least horror movies – not necessarily history or religion – you know that exorcists vanquish restless or misguided souls and release them. It’s not a form of punishment, but historically an attempt to help the soul rest in peace. So, if the name choice is deliberate and we are talking exorcists and not exterminators, aka soul cleanses instead of forever death, things might not be as bad.

Keep in mind that I am saying this from an outsider’s perspective and the show is portrayed from the sinner’s perspective. Or at least the denizens of hell. The very traumatized denizens of hell that amongst all their other torment have to be worried abt being killed like cattle once a year. And they have no idea what happens once you die by angelic spear. So that births fear and paranoia Not to mention that Adam and Lute’s sadism and the general bloodthirsty tendencies of the exorcists don’t help the case.

The narrative perspective is meant to make us empathize with the sinners and the denizens of hell, not heaven not the angels, and certainly not Adam or Sera. In the shows narrative they are supposed to represent the corrupt order and oppressive powers we are supposed to resent, whether that is objectively the case, is an entirely different discussion.  So the perspective, and the narrative tools used express that particular POV, and the plot and characterization is meant to support that. Consequently, the questions abt narrator reliability arise, and what I have said above seems lackluster and completely opposite to what the show tells us.

Another point I wanted to bring up is that the way Charlie pitches the idea of the hotel, and a chance at redemption has a bit of a… big hole in it. Anyone can improve at any time yes. I agree. But people that are in hell, have already had the chance to improve for so long as they were alive. It is an arduous process, a mountain to climb yes, but if one truly desires to redeem themselves for what they have done, and become a better person they would have tried before. Perhaps tried and failed, but tried, nonetheless. Which sets those people up perfectly to be residents of the hotel.  But how many of them are there? How many ended up in hell? How many of those in hell actually want to redeem themselves, regret, change their ways and ask for forgiveness? So, the postmortem redemption is kinda fishy. And there is another reason for it as well. If you want to redeem yourself, just for the shake of avoiding punishment, and eternal suffering, is it really redemption? Do you really want to become a better person?  Or just avoid the consequences of your decisions in life?

And as we see none of the people in hell, apart from Vaggie, believe in Charlie’s plan. Most even ridicule her for it. Including Angel who just wants free food and a place to crash at night. And who while having showin signs of improvement, still is in hell. Would just sticking to Adam’s rules, make him go up in heaven? Would that balance out all that he has done in life? Hell, does Sir Pentious’ sacrifice balance out all he did in life? And earns him a place in heaven?

Alright though, Sir Pentious is a mostly harmless goofball. What about people Like Vox and Alastor, Valentine, Velvette, the overlords? Hell is populated and in part ruled by the worst that humanity has to offer. And what happens if one of them manages to break the system, manipulate Charlie, fool her and take advantage of her, and end up in heaven? What will that spell for all the innocent souls up there?

Could infiltration be the key to a new Hellish uprising? And war between heaven and hell? Would corruption sheep into all their hearts? Idk what would happen but it would spell disaster for all the innocent souls in heaven that remain ignorant of all that mess.

And lastly a big elephant in the room I’d like t o address. Is Pentious really the first denizen of hell to be redeemed? He gets blasted by holy light and ends up in heaven, because he dies in an act of self-sacrifice. Have there not been any sinners before him that just tried to get by in hell? That ended up there for a stupid reason, or sth that they didn’t quite have a choice about, and then tried to make the most of their life in that mess, regretting what they have done? And if so, if they were killed in exterminations, why would they not ascend to heaven instead of being cast away to oblivion? Like Sir Pentious?

What if there were souls that were worthy of heaven, and with their release – however violent – from the plane of hell they had the chance to ascend? If it is possible now, wouldn’t it have been possible before? Why would Pentious be the only one? Or the first one for that matter?  

 In all the history of hell, I m supposed to believe that the only time a soul was regretful and changed and could have been redeemed was Pentious, with that one act of self-sacrifice? No woman that might have killed her abuser, and regretted taking a life but never regretted gaining her freedom, no man stranded in a desert or struck by a great famine with nothing to eat, hunt or scavenge but the bodies of his dead comrades? People that genuinely were faced with an impossible choice and ended up in hell for making it.

In a way I feel that if redemption is possible now, it was also possible before. It just flew under the radar, because probably no one ended up face to face with Sera after their ascend. Otherwise, she would have known it’s possible. And perhaps taken other measures.

And yes my ridiculous last argument leads me to the third installment of this huge mess

#3 – SERA

[callmearcturus]

I find the idea of Benji having like 20 exgirlfriends, boyfriends, and personfriends; while Ethan has dated like 3 people in his entire life, to be hilarious, and now I'm going to integrate it into my headcanons for both of them.

I MEAN I tend to think that before the Prague Job, Ethan was an ethical slut, and it's implied he's having a threesome with Jack and Sarah. (I mean, I literally do not know how else to interpret that line, I have put on my Straight Person Goggles and that line does not make sense unless they are all three dating.) He's flirty and openly teases people.

Then the Prague Job goes fuckways, and Ethan's entire demeanor feels like a very sharp object that neither he nor anyone else knows how to handle. He def fucked Max in the back of that car (I feel like this is even implied by her later dialogue). But its not friendly and fun anymore, it's sharp and dangerous and almost his barricade Ethan is using for his own protection.

AND THEN THERE IS CLAIRE. Claire is trying her best to manipulate the shit out of Ethan, to keep his attention on her and her 'mourning' of Jim rather than the fact Jim is alive and both of them are toying with Ethan.

That extended sequence where Ethan and Jim are talking about "what happened in Prague" intercut with Ethan figuring out what actually happened in Prague-- there's a moment when Ethan pegs Claire as having killed some of the team, but he changes his mind and casts Jim in the role instead because... he doesn't want Claire to be part of this.

TAKE ALL THAT and marry it to the fact that Claire keeps initiating touch with Ethan, tries to get him to comfort her-- that scene with her sleeping on the floor and taking his hand to kiss it is tremendously fucked up.

(I once listened to a podcast that mentioned claire was kind of ethan's love interest and like WOW no. nope. that's not what's happening even a little.)

oh my god i'm rambling but WHAT I AM SAYING is that Ethan has immense trauma that is fueled by sexual manipulation and it honestly feels like it. Twink Ethan as an ethical slut had fun and didn't have to worry about this shit and was all about fair play. Then he has a brief stint as a bad boy that goes badly because robert towne can't write a movie. Then the next we see him he's GETTING MARRIED and leaving the game.

This post is already too long so lets continue. MI3 is fascinating because it's the one I hate the most but Julia and Ethan are tremendous, and the work put into humanizing him is amazing. He's enjoying playing as a doting husband (and 'playing' is inaccurate, he's not lying) and it actively trying to carve himself out of the IMF while multiple people (INCLUDING HIS BEST FRIEND LUTHER) undermine him.

But he still tries, and he leaves, and he's out.

And it all goes to shit. Which is this tremendous tragedy of Ethan Hunt frankly. He put in the work and-- you know the phrase "he's got skin in the game"? Well Ethan had a lot of skin in the game and he let it flay him on his way out just for a chance to actually be out.

GP Ethan is a wildly changed man, but in a way that honestly makes perfect sense to me. The trajectory of his character by design or by accident is an easily tracked arc. (I think McQuarrie gets me on this, or I get him, either or.)

After GP, there is simultaneously an emotional honesty to Ethan... but there's a physical distance. He's older, he's wiser, he's tired, and he's not dragging Benji or Ilsa into a pharmacy closet to have sex. That's not him anymore. But also, there is more raw emotion to everything he does. He feels like he's always on the back foot.

(He comes across as incredibly asexual to me honestly.)

Compared Twink Ethan flirting his way through MI1 to Fallout Ethan getting kissed by the White Widow and having ZERO reaction.

/clutches Ethan to my chest. i love this tired old man.

MEANWHILE: Benji is hot and has a hot bossy streak and has amazing fashion sense. He can get it, he just can't keep it because when Ethan has a job, so does Benji, sooooo yep. lmao.

[starsnores]

Same anon! You didn’t do anything to make me feel bad i promise! I just have The Bad Anxiety. You’re doing great I promise! Trust me I enjoy fucked up gamkar sm lmao, its part of the reason I’m a huge fan 🫡

Speaking about it more, I enjoy it with humanstuck as well! Karkat realizing that he’s been an asshole to his childhood friend as he’s starting to lose him to addiction. Karkat learning how to be gentle even when Gamzee snaps at him and says that he know Karkat doesn’t really care about their friendship. Thinks its some fucked up form of pity. Gamzee no longer staring at Karkat with blind love and adoration, but instead with bittersweet pain and anger.

I love the idea of Karkat struggling with having to actually be a good friend to someone he has just realized has always been there for him. I love the guilt that comes with it, and I feel like the self loathing pain that comes from it is very Karkat. It’s something that would bug him for long after they get their shit sorted. It would bother him well after they’ve moved in together and started dating. Gamzee reassuring but not correcting him. Karkat was a shit friend. That’s an objective fact. However Karkat does everything he can to make it up to him.

Maybe that’s what bothers Dave a bit. It’s not just that Karkat has a hot childhood friend, but also Karkat indulges Gamzee way more than anyone else out of guilt and responsibility. He’ll shove Sollux and Dave off of him but let Gamzee be as touchy as he wants. Maybe so far as even rescheduling dates because Gamzee *really* wants to have a horror movie night together and even though Karkat hates horror movies he’s gotta be there because he has to do everything he can to be a good friend to Gam

100% very good. Karkat having a little gamzee shaped weak spot is very good.

I also really like it if he and gamzee are exes? You could probably come up with a ton of reasons why things didn't end well between them but karkat still gets butterflies when he sees him again even tho he's with his new boyfriend.

[hesokuri-wars]

I never got the chance to play this game, but it looks so fun... Why was it shut down? Also, are there any other oso-san games still available?

Well, nobody here was playing around the time of the shutdown, so we wouldn't really be experts on the situation. Either way, game staff in general don't just outright tell players the reasons for discontinuation, but I think the safe assumption would be that they simply didn't have the budget to keep it running anymore. Which... honestly, was a possibility that I had been concerned about for a while, given how much the game grew to rely on its whales. I could be way off on this, but the fact that they flat started requiring to spend money to roll for premium sets had the alarm bells going off in my head.

As for the (mobile) games still available now, there are three - Pokomatsu, Tabimatsu, and NEETPro, all of which region-locked to only Japan (assuming you don't live there, if you want to know of a way to get around this issue, follow the instructions in the FAQ under "how to install the app" - the process should be the same).

And because I have thoughts on all of them, I wrote up a brief description on each game before concluding with my personal thoughts on the current state of the Ososan Gaming Experience, but I'm not sure if anyone else really cares that much so I'm putting it under a cut lol. Links to downloading the games are included below as well for those who are curious.

Pokomatsu (Apple Link / Android Link)

I kind of talked about this one just the other day, but basically, it's the game that "replaced" Hesokuri Wars. Not only does it use a lot of Heso's assets, but the Twitter account for Hesokuri Wars and Pokomatsu is one and the same.

And... that's really it as far as similarities go. Hesokuri Wars was a tower defense game, and Pokomatsu is that one game where you aim and shoot balls at objects/people that are slowly advancing towards you and have to hit them enough times to win (idk if there's a more succinct name for this type of gameplay). Also, you can collect screenshots from the anime, movies, and Heso, either by playing/progressing or by rolling in the gacha. The basic story of the game is that the sextuplets are defending themselves from having their roles as the protagonists stolen by the other characters.

Here's a sample of some gameplay, if you're curious. Note that the voice clips are recycled directly from Heso. Also, it's incredibly noisy, so I guess that's just another similarity the two share.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: If you like this sort of game, then go ahead and give it a try, but I personally can't see myself getting too invested in it. Collecting the cards is its main selling point, but even that's not really all that given that they're just screenshots as opposed to original art. Also, I think I'm bad at it because I can't get past Stage 8. Never mind, I was playing it while I was typing this and I just beat it lol. But now I can't get past Stage 9.

Tabimatsu (Apple Link / Android Link)

AKA the other big Oso game from back in the day, although it still wasn't as big as Heso. The premise is that the sextuplets are traveling to all of the prefectures in Japan to pick up money, and the gameplay is in the form of a board game where you roll a die and move around. Much like Heso, had its fair share of original outfits and events, but it's currently in a bit of a weird place because it's been dormant for the past few years; it's still there for people to download and play, but it hasn't had a proper update since like 2020/2021 aside from the occasional maintenance. It's very clearly on its last legs, but it's still available to the public, presumably because it's not as costly to run as some other games of the past.

A sample of gameplay.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: I really enjoyed this game when it was more active! I'd like to replay it for the nostalgia, but it refuses to load properly on my phone teehee.

NEETPro (Apple Link / Android Link)

This one was released in conjunction with the first movie. It's also made by the same people who made Tabimatsu.

NEETPro is by far the simplest out of all the games, being more of a story-driven visual novel and not much else - I think this is the first and only Ososan mobile game to not have any gacha function? You play as a female showbiz manager, Totoko is your supervisor (she quit being an idol), and you're responsible for managing a sextuplet of your choice. Depending on the choices you make throughout the story, you either succeed in turning him into a movie star, or he stays a NEET.

In other words, this is the closest thing to an official Ososan otome game that exists. Like I said, this game is very much just a visual novel and not much else, so it basically was just released and not really updated since. I also found a tweet posted by the official Tabimatsu account from this September announcing the app would no longer be available on the Google Play store (though people who already had the app can still play), so like. That pretty much confirms that keeping this game up to date isn't exactly a top priority of the staff.

A sample of gameplay.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: I'm playing Ichi's route and I keep trying to brute force him into letting me become his manager and at one point he grew convinced that I was secretly an assassin plotting to kill him. Anyway, I don't think you'll have much use for this if you can't read Japanese or can't find a translation somewhere.

Overall

I feel like I've been hinting at this all throughout this post, but Ososan doesn't seem to be thriving in the mobile game sphere as of late. We used to have games like Hesokuri Wars, Damematsu, and Shimamatsu, all of which were rife with content, but all three current games I described above are fairly low-maintenance to keep running, have very sparse updates, and overall just don't seem to be here to keep your long-term interest. Maybe it's not too fair to say that about NEETPro, given the type of game it is (not to mention that it mainly served as promotional material for the movie), but like. Tabimatsu? That game used to consistently get new content, until one day, all that just stopped.

Idk I don't really have a conclusion to all of this lol this isn't meant to be some thesis or anything. It's just that when I went back to see which games were still available to the public, I immediately noticed the lack of actual content, and it's such a downgrade. It kind of bothers me as someone who not only rigorously played Heso for years, but also was super into checking out every other game the staff would drop.

🐾 Mod Ichi

[goodolme]

♡ i see (you) the light / prologue ♡

Summary: A tale in which two teenagers, a hermit alchemist afisionate and a petty thief, embark on an adventure to see some mysterious floating lights. Along their trip they discover secrets as well as love.

Pairing: Varian x Reader

Pronouns: She/ her.

Warnings: None really.

Notes: So uhhh long time no see. I swear I'll be back to the Rottmnt soon, just had this idea and had to write it.

Is this good? Idk I just finished writing it. You decice. It's probably not though.

This story will take parts and pieces of the series and movie but not all of them just keep in mind that not everything will be exactly the same. Mainly because it's a, well, au.

next →

Masterlist

This story begins with a kingdom. Even though this one was so far away that one may claim it was purposefully cut off from the rest of the world, everyone still recognized it. Its name? The Dark Kingdom.

Now, this kingdom was well-known—or infamous, depending on whom you asked—for a variety of things, one of which was referred to as the Moon Stone.

Many people debated on the origin of such an artifact. Ranging from it being a gift from the Gods to protect their people, to it simply being children's fairytales or even a made up story so townsfolk had yet another reason to party and behave recklessly.

However, the narrative that was widely accepted or at least appeared to be well known was as follows:

‘’Once upon a time a single drop of moonlight fell from the heavens; and from that small drop grew a magic blue stone. It had the ability to destroy everything that touched it.

After centuries had passed a small village grew around it. That little community quickly turned into a whole kingdom. The people were intrigued by this strange small rock, they found it captivating, alluring even, but they knew of its danger and so it was transported to one of the chambers in the king's castle; where no one would be able to reach the moon stone.

The stone was heavily guarded from generation to generation until King Edmund, commonly also known as 'The one who lost his mind' was driven insane by the curiosity he felt toward the peculiar object, driving him to the point of attempting to touch it despite the warnings coming from his counsel.’’

Up to this day nobody knows what happened to the moon stone or if it had any kind of impact on anyone. Could they have gone insane like their king? Were there any side effects? Are they even alive?

All they knew was that once a year, speculated in being the same day the moon stone was destroyed -as assumed by the citizens- they had a ceremony where they would remember what essentially created the place they live now.

What the people from the Dark Kingdom didn't know was that some of the rumors were correct. Unfortunately the accident had unintended consequences and one of the councilmen, known as Quirin unknowingly passed the powers from the moon stone to his child. 

He learnt about the when the child, only a few months old, would have outbursts and some black sharp looking rocks would come out of the ground.

It got harder to control when his wife, Ulla, passed away while on one of her excursions to try figuring out what was happening.

Quirin took his son to the king. Naturally he was furious with him for everything bad that had happened in his life during the last twelve months.

They agreed that the youngster would need to be locked up in a secure location since they anticipated that the situation would start to get intolerable unless under strict control.

In order to avoid being discovered, Quirin relocated with his infant son to a remote tower that was tucked away in the heart of the woods.

Oh, what was the name of the child? Varian.

[the-sage-libriomancer]

actually re: that last reblog, i think you could have a lot of comedy potential with the ex-zodiacs having a basic affinity for their respective animals even after the Curse breaks.

-Tohru finds a stray dog in need of medical attention but can't get close to it bc it's so scared of humans, so she calls Shigure and begs him to help. Shigure ends up driving several hours just to coax the dog into visiting a vet, then has to stay for several more hours bc he's literally the only human being the dog will trust. Kyo is less than happy about this but he can't do anything while the dog is growling at anyone who comes within ten feet of Shigure and itself. Shigure uses this to his advantage and gleefully annoys everyone in earshot.

-Momiji has a similar experience when the class pet (a rabbit) escapes and gets lost in the school. he nobly volunteers to search for it with his "rabbit-whispering powers," but unfortunately finds the rabbit dead after accidentally eating rat poison. Momiji feels so bad that he goes outside and catches a wild hare to replace it. no, Momiji doesn't see a problem with this. yes, the teacher, principal, and local animal control obviously object. it doesn't even fit in the cage.

-pets are a pretty loaded topic in all ex-zodiac households. the kids all go through a phase of begging for a pet, but obviously none of their parents want to regularly look at a physical representation of their old trauma. even people like Hatsuharu or Hatori aren't safe bc if someone like Yuki or Shigure pops in unexpectedly, you don't want them to find your pet mouse or dog staring back at them. i think most of the parents just have a no-pet policy, but i'm sure at least one household ended up going "fuck it" and getting a chinchilla.

-one time Rin got roped into chaperoning the twins' school field trip to a farm, and experienced every horse girl's dream when a ferocious barely tamed horse in the stables decided she was its best friend. cue the horse girl movie cliche montage except Rin fucking hated the attention and refused to pander to any of it. she ended up kicking the horse out of frustration, resulting in a stern lecture from the farmhands and a second (slightly awed) lecture from the teacher. Rin is no longer asked to chaperone field trips.

-Kyo was quickly banned from cat cafes as a teenager for obvious reasons, and to this day he can't convince his old hometown to lift the ban. the other Sohmas use this to their advantage regularly (especially Yuki, who always gets bitten by the cats but thinks it's hilarious to go with Tohru and wave at a fuming Kyo through the window).

[a-door-to-somewhere]

Ok watched spiderverse 2 again here's some thoughts in no particular order (spoilers and long post ahead):

- peter b is reading a book called "how to talk to kids" at the very end. Presumably because may can't speak yet and Gwen and Miles were zapped away I choose to believe he was reading this so he can go talk to Miguel LMAO

- I fucken love the way spot, after he powers up, move around via just like... sliding around in the air basically with his bad posture like he's hung from strings like a puppet

- when gwen is drumming at the opening and when spot gets zapped both are intercut with frames from later in the movie and also later in the future. I'm guessing spot got a glimpse of canon events but when Gwen was doing her intro it was phrased like a retrospective- but unlike most intros it didn't have a shot of a new spiderman comic being thrown on the pile. So when was she doing this retrospective? I hc she'll pick back up at the end of the third movie

- someone needs to make procreate brush packs for each universe/character PLEASE

- ok the "watercolor" effect being a mood ring is incredible but I havent seen anyone talking about the sort of abstract animation?? It almost reminds me of like experimental film from the impressionist/dada/supremetism eras, you can see it synced to the drum in the intro and also in some of the backgrounds during her big speech

- also during the Guggemheim fight when the Renaissance Vulture was like "you call this art?" And Gwen was like "well we're talking about it aren't we" YOU'RE SO RIGHT GWEN I AM KISSING YOU ON THE LIPS

- the shaky 1st pov cam when Gwen's dad sneaks up on her both times reminded me of when Miles accidentally watched kingpin kill perfect Peter? Idk if it was exactly the same I'd have to go back and rewatch but UGH it really gets that Gwen's dad has two sides too and the cop side isn't really human almost, lurking in the shadows, silhouetted

- also Gwen's dad just being a shit cop, giving her mixed instructions, raising a weapon at an unarmed person who is trying to communicate, firing warning shots, yelling the Miranda rights over her which is not how its supposed to be given

- contrast that with Jeff who literally never pointed a weapon at anyone and went charging after spot with his bare hands, is casual with his spiderman. I mean even when Jeff was talking about Miles not capturing Spot correctly it was lighthearted and joking, he's actively not going by the book, he's keeping the squad off of Spiderman's back, he apparently talks to spiderman about his family troubles???

- have I mentioned I LOVE MUSICAL MOTIFS????? Seriously they’re always good (fuck Wagner everyone knows Toby Fox invented the leitmotif) I mean everyone noticed the horror style Prowler stinger but even more characters got some: Gwen got a Little Rock theme with a guitar lick that echoes the ‘spi-der-man, spi-der-man’ song, Miguel’s distorted synth whine, the interesting mouth and bells percussion that Pav gets (good job Hollywood avoiding the exotic Asian pentatonic lick for once), at the end when the 42 prowler reveal slowly changed the prowler stinger into a human scream???? There’s probably more but I’d have to go back and watch it again again lmao

- I really love how Miguel is kinda goofy. He’s aloof and over serious but he makes mistakes and shows other emotions despite his best efforts. His flaws are shown off in his very first interaction, with his unwillingness to ask for help despite the fact that he knows he needs it. He’s frustrated. He’s got group object leader energy. It makes it so much more lovable that he’s susceptible to quips and he also gets knocked down and messes up and shows up and has his quirks that everyone puts up with. THATS how you make an interesting, relatable, lovable antagonist. Perhaps it worked too well LMAO

- I am an Oscar isaac simp I gotta go rewatch moon knight

- when miles was swinging around with gwen he passed a truck called "redex" bc gwen rejected him lmao

- theres an 8 clearly visible in the background of earth 42? Wacc

- the Spread Your Wings, Man scene focusing on the plastic wrap on top of the Alchemax flowing in the wind like it’s an ocean?/??? I really hope they call back to that imagery later because it clearly means something and I need to know what

- I’ve got an inkling of something that specifically revealing one’s spider-dentity to a loved one is some kind of anti-canon event, like maybe it’s the thing that fixes the destabilization? I mean we’ve seen that it’s ok if loved ones figure it out themselves (or if they then die, like uncle Aaron) like it’s a clear theme that miles keeps trying to tell his parents, and then Gwen tells her dad, which causes him to quit the force, thereby averting the canon event of him dying indirectly??? Also, it’s implied that the MJ of 1610 sold out Perfect Peter Parker to Fisk, leading to his death, ALSO also, gayatri probably figured out Pav’s identity right before HIS world destabilized??? Idk lmao

- I hope spiderbite/Margo and Jess get proper intros I can’t wait

- the background spider hockey girl has my heart, I couldn’t stop looking at her during the chase scene

- God I need to watch moon knight again

- when mj moved into mays room to greet them she lifted a picture frame back up as she moved in the door? What's up with that???

- not Spanish originally starting as a too-relatable joke that Miles gets a B in despite his mother speaking Spanish at home as well, not living up to his expectations, and then 42!Miles presumably speaks more/better Spanish due to being closer to his mom because his dad died???

- not miles aceing ap physics and ap studio AT THE SAME TIME in his SOPHOMORE YEAR free my boy from grounding he’s done nothing wrong

- btsv’s main villain is gonna be the sat I’m telling you

- most importantly: what was up with the Comic Code Authority’s seal being shown after the studio logos at the beginning??

Did that happen in the first one??? Why would it be there??? The cca has obviously been defunct since before superhero movies were really a thing. Famously, the cca seriously censored a ton of content, causing Marvel to be unable to portray darker stories involving drugs and other more mature themes, which they wanted to do with many superheroes including Spidey??? Is the Spider Society secretly the cca, censoring storylines that they think shouldn’t be portrayed, including darker timelines like 42? There was also issues with the convoluted Spider-Man comic lines going through unsatisfying ‘resets’ to keep Spider-Man relatable, without evolving the character into anything too far away from the OG Spider-Man, ie young, relationship issues with MJ, nerdy, tragedies etc. this is the detail that had me wondering the most because it was so clearly displayed right at the beginning, and the cca was generally a shameful part of comic book history in which publishers submitted to satanic moral panic. Like, not really something that reads as a cute little callback to an era of comics like he use of Ben day dots or misaligned printing or the onomatopoeias??

[tomcat-reusables]

Why Asteroid City is Better Than the Reviews, IMDb Isn’t Always Right, and You’re a Shitty Painting - an essay of sorts

Asteroid City (2023), despite what critics would have you believe given it’s rated just a sliver above the 2012 adaptation of Dr Seuss's “The Lorax '', was (to me) genuinely a fantastic movie. For its entire run I sat there in the theatre, thinking “why can’t people appreciate this film!”. I’m sick of the reviews blatantly coming from the place of the critics analysing it from the lens of a science fiction story when in reality, it’s more-so an abstract exploration of the delicate relationship between art, artist, portrayal and probably not aliens.

ASTEROID CITY IS NOT A SCI FI MOVIE AND I'M GOING TO BOMB THE IMDB HEADQUARTERS IF I SEE ONE MORE BIG SHOT MOVIE CRITIC INSISTING THAT IT IS (for all intents and purposes this is a joke, to the fbi agent looking through my webcam I’m a pretentious teenager year old without the technical knowledge to make any kind of explosive device)

Or maybe it isn’t supposed to be understood at all, maybe that movie was simply an excuse to build a fake town in the desert and some puppets. And in a way that’s just as beautiful, postmodernism is more than worthy of critique, but when it looks pretty and makes us feel anything at all, it’s safe to say it’s at least partially doing it’s job

Asteroid city however, is merely an example I used to express my burning personal hatred for movie critics. I actively avoid reading the reviews for anything that brings me joy, because I’m aware at this point that the statements I read are going to contain some of the most insane, infuriating possible opinions anyone could have of a piece of media, and I am beginning to suspect more and more that critics, not just of movies but of genuinely anything in existence that can possibly be critiqued, aren’t expressing their legitimate opinions but rather spewing whatever inflammatory nonsense they believe will cause some kind of controversy or outrage, because outrage sells. If one fact has been proven over the course of human civilization, it’s that outrage gets more clicks, more views, more exposure. 

Obviously anyone in their right or wrong mind understands that someone else’s opinion doesn’t at all determine the objective quality of a given ‘thing’, but it can often be hard to NOT give what they have to say a chance. I genuinely resent possessing the empathy to consider the thoughts of others despite how objectively incorrect they seem. But they’re people too! They could have a point! I say to myself as they tear apart something that is personally very meaningful to me. Curse in disguise I guess. But in the end, what is objective quality? if something at its core is bad, but you receive personal enjoyment from it, or it’s even sentimental to you or has made a positive change in your life, does it quality or lack of matter? Does it really matter what some 45 year old man sipping on a glass of champagne as he adjusts his spectacles to spew pretentious nonsense into the IMDb critic reviews, might think about a movie that got you through a rough time, or an album you grew up listening to? Are we allowed to enjoy ‘bad’ art? And most divisive of all, is there such a thing as bad art?

I once read an article about a museum of bad art, submissions would often be rejected for being too good. And yes, the examples of art displayed within this unique exhibition were unnerving, technically poor, but meaningless? I’m not at all one to determine that. Even absolutely meaningless, humorous, random art has a meaning, and that meaning is derived from the fact that no matter how positively offensive to the eyes or ears may be, it was still created. Think about everything that’s ever come into existence within the fabric of our reality, no, think about everything that hasn’t. It’s impossible for us to imagine the magnitude of the things that are possible but simply haven’t been thought of, conceived. Maybe it’s a hit to your self esteem to think your parents could have given birth to the next DaVinci, the next Stephen Hawking, the second coming of Christ! But instead gave birth to you. Do you consider yourself a work of bad art? Does your life have meaning? 

All this to simply explain that the interpretations of a few writers put on a pedestal shouldn’t have any place to decide our stance on a piece of media. Yes these reviews can certainly influence the way we feel, or articulate the points we have, but if or when you feel genuinely hurt by the fact that someone disagrees with, misunderstands or dislikes something that’s personally meaningful and enjoyable to you, their opinion doesn’t always matter regardless of the status their name may have achieved (this is of course, excluding when the media in question is blatantly problematic, which poses another debate in itself. Is it still homophobic if I like it? Find out next time on I’m Getting Overly Passionate About Seeing Some Reviews I Disagree With)

In conclusion, it’s ok to enjoy what you enjoy, regardless of the subjective or even objective quality of it, we as the consumers are the ones to truly decide how “good” or “bad” something is. That’s the core concept behind why critics exist, to guide those who don’t wish to form an opinion for themselves, to do the job for us, but when we’ve done said job for ourselves it’s never wrong to disagree with someone over something that is personally meaningful to you. It’s almost guaranteed someone will disagree with the points made in this essay of sorts, but that doesn’t make either of us right or wrong. In the end, these previous 962 words have truly amounted to one encompassing phrase: “you are entitled to your opinion”

[ceruleanwhore]

A (Mostly) Complete Critique of Tangled

I used to love Tangled but, as I’ve said before, it’s been ruined for me in recent times, starting with when I watched the series. However, where at first I felt like the movie was fine but the show messed up a lot of what was there, I’ve recently begun to see the truth, that the movie was never good to begin with. Being me, I want to talk about it and hopefully find others who feel similarly.

First and foremost, I have to talk about Disney choosing to make Rapunzel a princess with royal parents. One of the main aspects of the original fairy tale is that she comes from a poor family and when that family commits a relatively minor crime of stealing some vegetables, they are punished far too harshly by the witch who literally kidnaps their daughter in retribution. The story is that of a poor family having their daughter stolen but, because they’re poor, they literally don’t have the means to get anyone to go after this witch and get their daughter back. It’s a heavy metaphor for class disparity where those in power can do whatever and have no one challenge them because they’re so powerful while the powerless innocents they trample can do nothing to fight back. Making Rapunzel a princess ruins all of that and Jew-coding Gothel flips that power dynamic back around so now it’s a Jewish woman stealing a baby in the night and these rich, white royals are just powerless to save their poor infant daughter in the face of her evil Jewish magic or whatever.

Speaking of “evil Jewish magic or whatever,” next up is all the bullshit with the flower. Aside from the extremely lazy worldbuilding aspect of it that’s later retconned to be made even worse, this is just another way that they’re missing the whole point of the original story and tbh kind of ruining it. The entire point of the original is that the parents steal something of little value and are punished by having something as valuable as their own baby taken from them as punishment. If you make the stolen object something that not only is extremely valuable but is literally the only thing of its kind that is literally priceless, that radically changes things. Objectively, that flower is worth more than any other life in that world, including that of literally any royal, so that whole transaction just got flipped. Also, everyone acts like it was so terrible of Gothel to hide that away and keep it for herself but no one cares that Rapunzel’s parents literally made tea with it and destroyed the fucking thing to prevent a very natural death and force a very unnatural birth.

Another setting-type thing before I get into the actual story itself is what I mentioned earlier of Gothel being so very heavily Jew-coded by Disney. For one thing, Walt Disney was a freaking yahtzee and hated Jewish people, so keep that in mind. For another, it’s yet another thing that further wrecks the story. Yes, witchcraft as a concept does have a lot of roots in antisemitism, but I do believe there are ways you can have a witch as a villain and not have it feel like a really bad Jewish stereotype. Hell, look at the Barbie Rapunzel and how much different that version of Gothel feels from the Disney version. But because of how symbolism works in movies, there ends up being this effect with the Disney version where it then feels like everything Gothel does in the movie that’s bad is actually a greater stereotype and criticism of all Jewish people.

So, getting into the story, I want to start with Rapunzel herself. She’s freshly 18 but has the vibe and acts like she’s 8. I understand having Gothel try to limit how much she can intellectually explore the outside world, but that sheltering wouldn’t affect her personality. It’s this thing where people associate naivete with childishness and so, when they make a character who’s sheltered or naive, that character then has to also act like a child. For all the events of the story, Rapunzel would be better if she were older and also acted her age, even though she’d still have limited knowledge of the world. A great example of the issue with her character is how her immediate response to an intruder breaking in is to hit him with a frying pan, tie him to a chair with her hair, stuff him in a closet, and then actually think she can use a literal hostage to convince her helicopter mom that she’s a capable adult.

The next issue is Flynn. He’s fine in and of himself, but this movie with the canon version of Rapunzel we got is not the movie to go plugging in this 27 year old man who was created by a panel of women to be hot. There’s something really weird and icky about having the most sheltered, naive, very childlike character who looks and acts like a child end up with the love interest who’s been made to look the most mature and appeal to grown ass women. My biggest issues with him all have to do with his relationship with Rapunzel. He’s the adult here so he should’ve insisted upon taking a good chunk of time to let her adjust to existing in society and also processing everything that just went down in less than a week and meeting her parents and everything before trying to date her. It was irresponsible at best and harmful at worst for him to allow her to throw herself into a relationship with him when she is the way she is and he’s very literally the first person she’s ever met aside from her kidnapper.

As for the plot, the biggest thing I have a problem with is the hair, which I know sounds weird when we’re literally talking about Rapunzel but hear me out. The sundrop was destroyed and consumed in order to keep not just the queen but also Rapunzel alive, which should’ve used up the magic and produced a normal, non-magical child. However, since Rapunzel has magic hair in this, there’s a few other issues, like that she hears Gothel talking about how valuable her hair is and how people will want to steal it, but she doesn’t just give herself a trim as soon as she leaves to ensure her safety? Also, I get that the hair needs to be super long, but it’s too long for her to be able to like… exist with it. It would only weigh about 20 lbs but, when wet, it would definitely be super heavy and the length would be literally impossible to do anything with. She tries to walk across a room, it’s getting caught on five different pieces of furniture. At least let her braid it.

Another issue I have is with the haircut at the end. There’s nothing wrong with short hairstyles, but this particular one seems to accentuate the ‘manic pixie dream girl’ aspects of Rapunzel’s character and, especially when combined with the rest of her design, I feel like it makes her look even younger. Instead of having this moment be the really charged metaphor I think it was supposed to be about the end of her sheltered childhood and entry into adulthood, it feels lackluster because, visually, it’s the opposite. Rapunzel with the long hair looks like she could be 18 but, with the short hair, she looks no older than 14:

And then compare that to this edit that @juliette-daria made of Rapunzel with longer hair:

Do you see it? How, yeah, she still has big eyes and youthful features but, with a different hairstyle, she doesn’t look literally 14? I just really want to know why they chose to do what they did and make a very young-looking character look even younger before pairing her with a grown ass man who damn well looks like a grown ass man. I always thought I just didn’t particularly like Rapunzel’s haircut aesthetically but now I’m realizing it’s because I can’t stand to see her doing couple stuff with Flynn when she looks so young like that and he looks, well, 27. 

Aside from the hair stuff, the antisemitism, and questionable stuff with age, I don’t have a ton of issues with the story itself. The biggest story thing I have an issue with is Gothel showing up in the middle of their journey like that instead of having her kind of tailing them until the main conflict at the end. Her popping up at the campsite and being a bitch just seemed so unnecessary and I feel like the story would’ve been better without it. Also, I feel like that big, climactic conflict should’ve gone differently and happened in Corona because we’ve already seen that it’s a multiple-day journey from the tower to the city or vice versa, so the idea that Flynn is just running to that tower the way one might run to the store doesn’t really work. Having everything come to a T in Corona also could have provided tons more drama and been way more interesting. That way, you could have Flynn bust out of prison and then go with all the Snuggly Duckling guys to save Rapunzel together and there could be an even bigger conflict.

[this-should-do]

im genuinely fascinated by how the second bayverse tmnt movie feels more written fro children than the first one did, like, the jokes are just more childish and built on weird contrivances, none of the villains have any intimidation and most of the characyers despite also being human act like cartoon charactatures than anyone in the first movie ever did, not to mention how they dumb down shredder and make him feel so much lamer as a villain that when he started crying abkut being betrayed i was flabberghasted as i had expected him to only be following along with krangs plan becuz he was gonna back stab him, however i will say, i love bebop and rocksteady, i can get behind them no matter what they do <3

which is almost strange cuz the wiritng for the boys feels more consistantly like dumb teenagers than the previous movie which is a step up in writing (tho the mid movie conflict could use more refinement since it feels a lil sloppy and the conclusion descion feels odd given the conflict of the movie even tho i know that its mostly to keep consistant with the prescident kf the series, meaning the conflict needed a tighten conclusion on the boys wants) furthormkre, the like useage of the "wrre ninjas" and related stock ohrases that fuel the conflict and leos perspective are much more grating and intrusive than in the first movie

also the using of megan fox as a sex object is so much more obvious in this movie its so painful bro, not to mention brand placement gokd heavens, and dear god the copoganda is soooooo bad, it is like nonstop copoganda its so thick in the last half of the movie jesus christ

like i know that both movies were nickelodeon things ans therefore made for children to a major degree, however id love to know what went on in management that made the second movie more childish in tone

[mdhwrites]

Is The Owl House Timeless?

So this morning I made a blog about how the main thing required for something to be timeless is for it to be at least decently enough written to connect with an audience and that it had to have an emotion that the audience could connect with. A universal feeling that could cross race, gender, religion or even, yes, time. I used It’s a Wonderful Life as my example then.

I bet a lot of you who read it though were waiting for me to talk about TOH though because I know a LOT of people in the fandom at one point expected TOH to not only be timeless but a classic. The new Avatar the Last Airbender or the new Harry Potter (especially in what people wanted for its popularity with the latter). Both of those works are indeed timeless, as much as I am loath to compliment Harry Potter.

Is The Owl House? Individually, I think one could argue specific episodes and maybe the first season but the real reason I wanted to do this follow up blog is that satire and comedy almost always ages the worst. As worldviews change, what was mocked might not seem like it was in such good taste. How many 80s/90s college comedies like Animal House now feel kind of tacky when viewed from a modern lens? Or at least kind of misogynistic with their treatment of women?

I don’t think there are many element in TOH that are going to be as yikes as stuff like that someday but I think there’s already been a turn against it. It claimed to be progressive but in the end gave few real answers to that which it wanted to claim it was better than and even fell into many of the same holes as other works like it fell into. Its comedy is often stale and rooted in needing to be in its exact same mindset in order to be able to enjoy it.

Frankly, the style of satire, comedy and social commentary kind of makes me think of the spoof movie craze in the mid 2000s. You know, stuff like the constant sequels to Scary Movie, or Action Movie, etc. like that. TOH NEVER gets as bad as those, don’t get me wrong, but they’re both taking the same approach to their writing of these elements.

Rather than tackling it with a human emotion, something anyone can latch onto, they’re looking for buzzwords, specific gripes and incredibly specific tropes/references. Then they nail it to a board so they can hammer away until it’s damn near unrecognizable and whatever point was there is lost because they’re using a blunt object when a scalpel is required.

A LOT of people way better at this than me have talked about how a lot of things that want to be ‘satirical’ or ‘subversive’ are nowhere near as good as Mel Brooks but rather than talk about why his subversion is allowed while so many people fuck it up, I just want to talk about why they’re so often still timeless.

Blazing Saddles is the easy one. Human stupidity, greed and hate is always going to exist so rooting your comedy in both a genre and time period known for being exceptionally stupid, greedy and hateful, all while it normally tries to pretend it’s not, is just brilliant. Frankly, the main change from some Westerns to Blazing Saddles is that it’s willing to recognize bigotry and state it as bigotry, rather than try to justify it as a noble crusade or the like.

How about Space Balls though? One line tells you that they know what makes Star Wars both good and also exceptionally silly: “Evil will always win... Because good is dumb.” You want to criticize the fantasy genre as a whole? THAT is how you do it because we’ve all gotten fed up by meat headed heroes who walk into an obvious trap instead of thinking for literally five seconds but we also still like seeing those same meat heads win! It also plays into the ego in most fantasy villains as well as their hubris, as such working as just a general villain line but with the bluntness and delivery needed for it to be a joke instead.

TOH never really has this. Honestly, the best moment it comes to it is probably when the crackpot human curator seems so close to the truth before going off the deep end into conspiracy theories. I’ve literally had a friend do that to me once where I thought they were sane and rational until one night they told me, and I quote “You could have a catgirl girlfriend, it’s just that no one’s willing to admit that they’re real.” It’s a genuinely good subversion away from there being a mastermind villain and instead he’s just some loon who managed to be about 20% right in this case and that’s enough to make them dangerous. And mocking that level of insanity, of someone who has just lost themselves entirely in a rabbit hole that everyone else knows is unhealthy, is a common thread for many, especially in the modern age. It’s not like people in Ancient Greece never had to deal with some loon who thought the end of days was coming though.

Most of the time though? Most of the time it’s stuff like the Golden Snitch reference where it’s not even referencing a common trope in fantasy writing but specifically calling out a very singular thing. Where if you don’t know Harry Potter, or even worse LIKE QUIDDITCH, then you have nothing to connect to there. Maybe Luz’s outrage over losing due to a technicality but it’s not even a technicality. It’s just being outplayed and so the closest to a more universal feeling is betrayal but the joke spends so much time on rage at the literal trope, instead of even what Boscha did, that the thread at bare minimum gets lost.

And that’s much of TOH’s elements like these. They have a theoretical point to them but along the way, they lose their point or focus, or are so focused that they miss the universal element that’s right there. Take The First Day. Luz is someone who has struggled in school because of being bullied and an oddball. This was a great chance to really connect with every child who feels left behind by the school system because they won’t cater to them.

Except... It doesn’t work here. Her complaint isn’t that she can’t learn, that how things are being taught don’t work for her either because she learns differently or her brain processes things differently, etc. like that. Instead, it’s that she COULD learn whatever single subject she is stuck on but that’s not what she WANTS to learn.

Even the detention kids are the same way. Viney in S2 is established as one of the best healers in the school despite her multi-classing but it’s got nothing to do with her multi-classing. As such, strict healing magic is something she learns just fine. It’s just that she’s not being allowed to be creative with it.

And THAT is an interesting topic to discuss, schools stifling creativity or needing to give opportunities for it, but the narrative context stops that. They never say it because it would get in the way of their point but the school should say they allow single tracks because it’s literally illegal for them to do otherwise. That can allow a theme of how industry and government too often dictate the priorities of our schooling and how that’s a bad thing. That would even fit within the themes of TOH where the individual is crushed by the monopoly. By the ‘normal’.

 But they don’t do that because they have a different goal in mind. And this is why being well written is part of my criteria for being timeless. Again, not perfect, but an invested audience in TOH should also have that nagging question of why the coven system isn’t getting brought up in this episode. The EC is brought up as the basilisk disguises themselves as an inspector, but never that the Emperor would potentially close the school entirely if they were to allow mixed classes because that goes against both the coven system and the Titan.

It instead just never comes up so while it has a theoretical point it’s trying to make, the resonance is lost as a reasonable question, a genuine plot hole, grows wider and wider with every passing minute until the moment an audience should cheer for creativity winning out, for the need for flexible thinkers to be shown, is still met with some amount of confusion as people wonder why the show still hasn’t said ANYTHING about the coven system properly in this entire episode, even as now Hexide does frankly the biggest act of rebellion in perhaps the entire show.

And that is when TOH is GOOD. The later TOH goes on, the more and more a disconnect can be felt between the theme or resonance the writers are going for and what they’ve actually setup until S3 is pulling things out of its ass left and right because it can’t even do an identity arc with a clone, a sci fi staple to put it mildly, right because it literally can’t focus on anything long enough to make it function. Or its actions are too contradictory to keep you invested, like in Reaching Out where Luz is willing to at least tell 75% of her problem to Eda and King but then acts like she literally cannot, lest she die instantly on the spot, tell Amity or even think about it for all of five seconds.

As I concluded my last blog: Resonance should be something that all writers as a base element of writing should strive for. Bare minimum, it should resonate with the writer and that will help it resonate with others. How well you can make your writing be able to resonate beyond yourself though is the real test for a good story and a good writer.

And while obviously the fandom for TOH proves it resonated with many, myself even at one point, I wonder how many it still resonates with today? And especially as time wears on and tests the claim of it truly being transcendent of the moment it was created, or if it will just look like a relic to be left behind.