#(events and details that are not known by the average people I mean)

[djuvlipen]

thinking about that quote "those who've studied the Holocaust often come back with the feeling of having stared directly into the source of evil" and actually yeah I think I know too much and if I could get other people to know all the stuff I've read and heard and seen about the Holocaust and genocides maybe I could bring a change feel more stable and less insane at the cost of others. and I don't know what is worse, the nightmares I used to have when I was 7 and I didn't know much about Nazis so I could imagine everything; or all the things I am aware of now and that keep clogging my thoughts during my waking hours

[vaya-writes]

Not Quite A Life Debt - 2

A handful of f reader insert scenes with m demonic love interests. Fluff, hurt/comfort, and smutty shenanigans that lean kind of poly.

You (kind of unnecessarily) tried to save Ludwig’s life. Out of pity, he lets you crash at his place for a few weeks after. It probably wouldn’t be so bad, but he doesn’t live alone. Reader stays with the triplets until she gets back on her feet. Smut, family shenanigans, and possibly even romance ensues.

You settle in and meet Ludwig's family. There's a bit of a mix up regarding what humans can safely eat, and the start of some bonding with Obie. 3300 words.

Content warnings for this chapter include references to the last chapter (recovery from injury, very brief use of an inhaler, and mention of alcoholism), profanity, detailed food descriptions, food not safe for human consumption, someone (not reader) calls themself ugly and believes it. Divider by firefly-graphics. Also tagging @eldritch-spouse so she knows her clowns are being featured again.

Masterlist - A03 - Previous - Next

You’re pretty dazed when you step into Perdition.  

The events leading to this moment were stressful. Losing so much in so little time, having nowhere to turn; it’d all be overwhelming on its own. As it is you’re trying very hard not to break down in front of Ludwig, your new acquaintance.  

But moving to hell? That’s a whole new level of crazy you’re not quite ready to deal with.  

You take in your surroundings with a distant sort of interest. Ludwig leads you through a rough looking neighbourhood. It’s not the nicest place, sure, but you’re taken aback at how mundane the place is. Sure, there are demons in every window, and clustered around some doors and corners. There’s the flash of magic here and there, and things you'd rather not look too closely at. But it had never occurred to you that demons would require housing too. Would have their own suburbs and addresses. 

You’d laugh if it wouldn’t trigger a coughing fit. 

“So, I know you’re probably feeling,” Ludwig glances down at you, searching for a tactful word, “delicate, about now. But there’s a chance my family will be home.” 

“Yeah?” Your voice is hoarse. 

“Yeah. We were supposed to do dinner this week. But then you were in hospital and I had to postpone. My brothers will probably be lurking around until that’s dealt with.” 

Meeting people. You could handle that. Perhaps not right now, when you’re still clad in a hospital gown, and stumbling from exhaustion. But maybe after a nap? 

“Ok.” 

You travel another block or so before Ludwig comes to a stop before a two story home. It’s fairly unremarkable, if a little worn down. You might call it well lived in. 

He mutters a curse. “They’re home.” 

You wince. “I haven’t-” you hesitate to say you haven’t met a demon before. After all, you’ve known Ludwig for about a day. But still, meeting more than one right now is intimidating as fuck. Being here makes you nervous enough that you almost forget the week you’ve had. “Uh. Is there anything I should know before I meet them?” 

Ludwig frowns. Bothered, but it doesn’t feel directed at you. “Do you need a crash course in demonology?” 

“Uh,” you just want to sit down. “Not today?” 

His face crinkles some more. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, with his eyes always kind of closed. He lets out a long breath. “Obie is a glutton. Literally. He’s chill, but don’t leave anything small around him. Or your food unattended, if you’re particularly attached to it. And Mervin is a pride demon. He talks a lot of shit that he only means half the time. Expect to be criticised. It’s absolutely a front, but he can’t help it.” 

You bite your lip. “Sounds... kind of stereotypical?” 

“They’re stereotypes for a reason.” 

You realise you’re missing a key piece of information. “And you are..?” 

He blinks. (You think.) Then cracks the first smile you’ve seen him give. “Not obvious then?” 

You look him over. He’s of average build, a light red in colour, hooded eyes that he barely keeps open, and a set of ribbed horns of moderate size. Perhaps his type might be obvious to another demon, but you don’t know enough about demonic physiology to hazard a guess. 

“You slept through a building fire. Are you from Sloth?” 

He leans back, surprised, you think. “I’m from the common ring. Type is genetic.” 

You wait. 

“I thought you’d guess based on,” he waves at himself, “colour, but yeah, sleeping through a fire is a bit...” he trails off. “Let’s not tell my family about that.” He stands straighter, recovering. “I’m actually a wrath demon.” 

  You should probably feel something when he tells you that. Concern. Fear. Something. But you’re experiencing something akin to post exertional malaise. And it’s definitely rounding off your thoughts with apathy.  

You shrug. “Okay.” 

He seems confused. “Okay?” 

You nod. “Yeah. Okay. How am I supposed to react?” 

You’re pretty sure he’s staring. But after a moment he slouches. His voice softens. “Did you have any questions?” 

“Is there anything you think I should know?” 

He turns away. “Uh- not really. I... I know humans can scare easily. I’ve a bit more awareness of my outbursts than some wrathful types. Just... I suppose, ask before touching my things?” 

It sounds easy enough. You look up at the house with a sigh. “Alright. Can we get this meeting over with? I’d like to shower and then sleep for another week if possible.” 

He smiles again; the slight turning up of his lips. “That could be arranged.” 

--- 

Any other day and you’d be intimidated as fuck. Strange house, strange people, strange new rules, and you don’t know the half of them.  

You take comfort in the fact that Ludwig’s brothers are just as surprised to see you. The purple one – Mervin, you learn – stares daggers at you, silently contemptuous. Obie, the yellow demon with crooked horns, at least smiles, and shakes your hand.   

Then Ludwig is whisking you away to the spare room. “This used to be ma’s room. She didn’t leave a lot behind, but there might be an outfit or two. There’s an ensuite so you can have that shower you wanted.” 

“An ensuite and nobody uses this room?” 

He snorts. “We could never agree who got the room after ma moved out. To put things lightly.” 

The room is plain but it’s the nicest you’ve stayed in in a long time. The bed and wardrobe alone are luxurious compared to the hotel you’d been staying in. The clothes are a different matter.  

After rummaging through the drawers you hold up some pants, and try not to frown. “I think your mum’s body type is very different to mine.” 

Ludwig eyes the pants and huffs. “Yeah. I’ll see if anything of mine would fit you better.” 

He brings you some supplies. A towel. Clothes. Some soap. And then you’re left alone.  

--- 

Obie manages to keep his questions to himself. Even Mervin had kept his comments to a minimum, instead leveling Ludwig and his human with looks that could be deciphered as exasperated. Appalled. They wait until Ludwig comes back downstairs before facing him. Even then, they managed to hold off a little longer, until the sound of the shower begins upstairs, before giving him a proper dressing down. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” 

“You missed ma’s birthday for a human? Do you know how devastated she was? You could have called? Texted? Sent a fucking letter-” 

Ludwig sighs. Claps Mervin over the back of the head – somewhat viciously - before sitting at the table. “I did call, Merv. I told ma what had happened and got her damn blessing to stay on the surface. You’re just mad I didn’t tell you.” 

“Of course I’m mad. I cleared my schedule for this! What could be so important that you could just blow us off?” 

Ludwig laces his fingers under his chin. Would happily tell Mervin- if he hadn’t kept ranting. Pacing around the kitchen, gesticulating with anger. He shares a look with Obie, one honed by decades of dealing with the pride demon’s antics together. 

Obie understands. Gets up. Herds Mervin into a chair (even as he keeps talking). Cages him in with hands on his shoulders. 

“Shut up, will you? Do you want his explanation or not?” 

Mervin cuts off, sneering at his brothers. “Fine. Speak.” 

Ludwig grits his teeth. Has to swiftly decide which parts of the event to share. Not the drunkenness. That would just worry them. And if he tells them what you actually did to help, they’d probably experience the same bewilderment, the same condescension as he had. Mervin would have nothing but scorn for you, forever mocking your intelligence.  

“I was doing a layover in some backward little town when the locals tried to hate crime me.” 

His brothers straighten, attention immediately caught. 

“I’m fine. Obviously.” 

“What did they-” 

“They set the hotel on fire.” Ludwig huffs at their expressions. “I know right? Anyway, the girl tried to step in and help. People weren’t happy about it. She lost her home for the trouble. I offered to let her stay here or a while.” 

Mervin almost fluffs up, objections ready to spill, but Obie beats him to it: “That doesn’t explain why you were gone for several days.” 

Ludwig winces. He supposes they will find out about your blunder after all. “She’s been in hospital. She charged into the fire to try and help me. Inhaled a lot of smoke.” 

Mervin scoffs. “So she’s stupid.” 

Obie digs his fingers into Mervin’s shoulders. “Sounds like she’s kind.” 

Ludwig shrugs. “A bit of both, from what I can tell.” 

Mervin still sneers. “And nobody else could take her?” 

“No. I did not get that impression.” 

Obie shrugs. “Then there’s only one thing for it. She stays.” 

Mervin frowns. He’s definitely going to complain. But Ludwig spears him with a look that leaves little room for argument. 

Instead he stands. Scoffs, as he shoulders Obie aside. “You’re a bunch of soft-hearted fools.”  

--- 

The family dinner is rescheduled for the next day. You don’t care for the details, as long as you’re allowed to sleep. Using a real bed, in a quiet room is a wonderful treat compared to sleeping in a hospital ward.  

You woke when Ludwig had knocked. He’d brought you a bag of chips – a surface brand you recognise. You tore into those rather than risk the kitchen and running into the other occupants of the house. 

You’re not sure how much time had passed when you finally creep downstairs, drawn by the smell of cooking food. You’d slept in. Presumably. With the strange lighting in Perdition, the lack of clocks in your room, and your phone being flat, you haven’t an idea of the time.  

The yellow one is busy in the kitchen, cooking with practiced ease. There’s meat in a frying pan, while eggs cook in another. You watch as Obie cracks an egg open– it's large, too round, and certainly not from a chicken. You almost miss the way he tosses the shell. It flies in a perfect arc before landing in his open mouth.  

You hide your wince before making your way to the dining table. Ludwig sits at it, in deep conversation with another yellow demon. This one a plump woman with her hair styled neatly. You try not to stare, but she’s honestly the first demon you’ve seen with hair. 

Her deep green eyes flick to you and she smiles. Her voice is pleasant. Sweet. “This is her?”  

Ludwig nods, and introduces you to his mother, Katia.  

She seems lovely; fussing over you while you wait for dinner and asking if you’re well. She asks about your pain, your sleep, how you’re settling in. When the conversation meanders back towards herself and her family she chats about her sons in a way that’s frankly endearing. You catch a darkness on Ludwig’s cheeks that might even be blush.  

You actually manage to relax, smiling and nodding along politely, answering questions here and there. Thankfully she doesn’t ask you anything too personal. It goes on until Mervin joins you at the table and Obie brings out the food. 

You stand and offer to help, to set the table, but Obie and Katia brush you off, the later insisting that you’re a guest, that you’re unwell – you should be resting.  

They’re not wrong. Even the small amount of conversation that you’ve made has left your throat feeling agitated. You have to use your new inhaler before settling in for food.  

Obie serves you your plate. There’s eggs, toast, sausages, and fried meat. It all looks familiar, but distinctly off. The egg yolks are too small, too green. The meats have an almost purple sheen. The toast is oddly shaped, like it had risen differently. 

Still, you don’t want to be rude. 

It’s been said that you’re a little stupid.   

You certainly do nothing to detract from that argument when you cut a small piece of meat and toast and take a bite. 

In your defence, you’re hungry. You’re being polite. You don’t want to rock the boat by asking somebody to accommodate for your very basic and important needs. 

Regardless, you can’t help but hesitate at the taste. You chew carefully and swallow while sensation spreads across your tongue. 

“So... what are we eating?” 

Four heads turn your direction. They blink. 

“Oh fuck,” Ludwig swears. 

You pale at his oath, freezing before you can cut another bite. 

The taste begins to sink in. Savory. Rich. Intense. It’s nearly overwhelming the way your mouth alights. You do your best to keep a straight face, but fail.  

Mervin mutters something. Some insult. Some comment on your intellect. While Obie jumps up. Fetches a glass from the kitchen and fills it with water. “I’m so sorry, Bon. I completely forgot- here, drink.”  

The water helps. Barely. It still takes a minute for the taste to start to fade. You end up drinking the whole glass, hoping to dilute the taste of whatever the fuck you just ate. Not that it was bad. Just... unexpected. Overwhelming. You’d never had a taste threaten to overwhelm you before. It's certainly a new sensation. 

There’s a myriad of embarrassed looks around the table. You’re glad you’re not the only one. Hoping to diffuse the tension, you joke “Nothing poisonous I hope?” 

Obie shakes his head. He looks almost downtrodden. “No. Just... food local to these parts. I forgot that humans aren’t used to it.” 

“I’ve some junk food stashed in my room,” Ludwig stands, “Earth brands, so it should be safe.” 

Obie shifts, “yeah, about that...” 

Ludwig stills. Stares hard at his brother, you think, before turning and stomping towards his room.  

There’s a silence before- 

“You insatiable fucking rat. What have I told you about touching my things?”  

“Mervin, go stop your brother from getting too worked up.” Katia intercedes, calm as still water. “Obie, you need to replace what you took. Now.”  

Obie grumbles and stands. He picks up his plate and literally tips the contents into his mouth, jaw unhinging impressively to accommodate the mouthful.  

You try not to gape.  

He turns to you. “Wanna come with? You can pick out the foods you like?” 

You glance towards the hallway, where you can hear two raised voices, now coming closer. It’s an easy choice. 

You join Obie by the door, stepping into the sneakers Ludwig had leant you. “Sure.” 

--- 

 It’s an effort not to gawk at everyone you pass. Now that you’re rested and slightly more cognisant, everything around you seems novel. You’d flitted from small town to small town for most of your life. Hadn’t seen many monsters at all, let alone demons.  

Here, they’re everywhere. And you notice, with gradually increasing discomfort, that they’re also very much aware of you. 

You make it to a market. Obie grabs a shopping trolley and leads you towards the ‘interspecies foods’ aisle. They have a basic selection of human foods there, but there’s enough that you won’t have to eat the same thing every day. Mostly. 

Obie carefully picks out some sweets and chip packets, scowling all the while. “I can’t even remember the specifics. Do you think he’ll notice if I get the wrong chocolates?” 

You spare him a glance, before going back to monitoring your surroundings. There are even more eyes on you now. “I don’t know. As long as you get him a kind he likes?” 

He hums his agreement, and starts filling the cart, comically emptying out an entire shelf. 

“I think people are staring.” 

“There’s a glutton in a grocery store, of course they’re staring. You gonna pick what you want?” 

“Will they take my money?” 

He pauses to consider. “No.” 

Your stomach picks a bad time to rumble. 

Obie gives you a pat on the head. “Not to worry. This time it’s on me.” 

You’re relived, but your anxiety only lessens marginally. This family is already housing you. You don’t want to rely on them for food too. Gratitude tends to run thin in the face of inconvenience.  

You pick out a couple of things. Sandwich fodder. Cup noodles. Milk. But Obie doesn’t seem to notice your hesitance and empties out several more shelves of your favoured foods. Soon you have enough stock to last you weeks.  

Maybe he does notice. Because he prompts you to pick something else. Firmly redirects you towards the aisle again when you make to leave. “Nobody goes hungry in our house.” 

Until the shopping trolley is full. To the point where overflow is a risk. You watch Obie balance more onto the precarious pile, impressed by how much he’s managing to carry. 

The sight fills you with amusement. Enough that your anxieties ease, if only for the moment.  

But once you leave the store, your concerns resurface.  

“They’re still staring.” 

You can’t help but glance down at yourself, self-conscious. You are wearing a pair of tights from Katia’s supply and one of the shirts Ludwig had leant you. It’s oversized, but not horrendously so. 

“Don’t worry, Bonbon, they’re staring at me.” 

There’s that nickname again. It’s sweet. Almost ridiculously so, and you’re not sure if you’ve done anything to earn it. It distracts you enough that you almost forget the stares. But you can’t help but circle back to them.  

You don’t really believe him. Maybe some of the stares are levelled at him? But it seems to you that everyone is gawking at the human. 

“Why would they be staring at you?” 

“Well, I’m kind of ugly.” 

Your head jerks in his direction, unbidden. You haven’t heard somebody describe themselves so frankly since- well you’re not sure if you ever have. 

You regard him carefully. Search for the source of his comment. He’s the same build as his siblings. Yellow, in a pallor that is obviously inhuman. Average, as far as demons go, with two horns and tail. His horns are asymmetrical; curved and bent unusually. He has the same thin spade tail as his brothers, except the length of his is visibly kinked in several places. It lacks fluid movement – twitchy almost in a way that makes you think of broken bones and nerve damage.  

Still. You wouldn’t consider him ugly. Just different. “Are you?” 

“Yeah,” he shrugs. Gestures to what you had observed. His horns. His tail. 

His casual demeanour is almost forced. You start to suspect that he was being quite serious when he called himself ugly. 

It bothers you enough that you step closer to him and speak in a murmur, “you look fine to me.” 

He huffs a smile. “Well, aren’t you sweet? Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.” 

His lightness irks you. You almost pout. “Nobody here looks normal to me. I don’t know what demons are supposed to look like. So you can believe my unbiased opinion when I tell you that you look fine.” 

He looks away. Seems to consider. Before shrugging. “I’ll take your word for it.” 

You can tell he’s not taking you seriously. This time you do pout. You push past your discomfort and link your elbow with his.  

His head whips towards you, surprised at the contact. 

You ignore his shock. “I’ve got a lot of gaps in my knowledge about demons. Want to fill me in while we head back?” 

He turns away, quiet for a moment, before shrugging again. “What did you want to know?” 

Next

[chaifootsteps]

"I first met Tokitae (also known as Toki, Lolita and Sk’aliCh’elh-tenaut), a female orca who had been captured off the coast of Washington, in 1987. I was a biology graduate student at my first professional conference, and the scientific society hosting this event held the opening reception at the Seaquarium.

Toki was 20 feet long and 7,000 pounds, and should have been in the Salish Sea traveling 40 miles a day and diving 500 feet deep with her mother and siblings. Yet there we were, a few hundred marine mammal scientists who mostly did field research, watching this magnificent being perform silly tricks in a bathtub.

That’s not really an exaggeration in Toki’s case. Toki’s tank was the smallest enclosure in the world for her species. It was only 35 feet at its widest point and 80 feet long. It was 20 feet at its deepest; if Toki hung vertically in the water, her tail flukes touched bottom. Captured in 1970 when she was 4 or 5 years old, she lived in this tiny space for 53 years.

The federal Animal Welfare Act (AWA), administered by the US Department of Agriculture, has a ludicrous requirement for tank width — only twice the length of an average adult orca (or 48 feet). But Toki’s tank didn’t even meet that weak standard. For years, the USDA offered various excuses for not taking steps to revoke the exhibitor’s license. None of them made sense, as the tank was plainly not to code. Activists repeatedly tried to sue the USDA for failing to enforce the law, without success.

Toki’s was a strange, lonely life. Despite many campaigns to repatriate her to her family (the L pod in Puget Sound), years passed. The stadium around her slowly and literally crumbled.

The ‘Blackfish’ Effect,” named after the 2013 documentary that eventually reached tens of millions of people globally, has shifted the captive cetacean paradigm in the past decade. Businesses have severed ties with marine theme parks, and policymakers have passed laws ending the commercial display of orcas and other cetacean species. SeaWorld, the company that built its brand on Shamu, is phasing out orca display — no longer capturing, breeding or trading them.

And still Toki languished in the South Florida heat. The Seaquarium’s two owners during Toki’s first 52 years there were adamant that she would never leave the park and disdainfully dismissed talk of returning her to her family.

In March 2022, however, Toki’s outlook finally seemed brighter. The Seaquarium was sold to a company whose business model relied primarily on swim-with-dolphin encounters. An orca didn’t fit that model, and these owners were willing to let her go. Efforts could finally begin in earnest to return her home. The Lummi Tribe, who gave her the name Sk’aliCh’elh-tenaut and considered her a relative, had prepared detailed plans for a seaside sanctuary in the Salish Sea.

Then, last month, Toki died. The hope felt by so many that she would finally go home disappeared in an instant.

Captivity robs orcas of a true life in the deep open sea. It robs them of family, of purpose, of change and challenge. Captivity is tremendous monotony for these socially complex, wide-ranging, intelligent animals. We should not perpetuate that.

Zoos and aquariums long ago relegated dancing bears and tricycle-riding chimps to circuses, but still claim that cetacean shows — loud extravaganzas featuring leaping orcas and cavorting dolphins — are educational (they are not). The industry could and should invest in seaside sanctuaries — it’s a win-win choice, as the industry would be heroes and the animals’ welfare would improve.

Let Toki’s miserable, isolated life and sad death mean something for her fellow captives. These amazing beings should not have to die to finally be free."

Dr. Naomi Rose is senior scientist (marine mammal biology) for the Animal Welfare Institute in Washington, D.C.

[lockpickingliar]

Ouma Kokichi (Joker) on Bias

So obviously I was never around to witness the trial. That's a given. And every time there was a trial, Ran-chan was there. That's how the time loops worked. If he was dead already when it happened, my death would have been the one to reset the loop, and so there would never have even been a trial to my knowledge. But that's a lie, since I don't remember loops anyhow and ultimately besides the point.

I have, however, seen the game and how the canon here goes.

And I'm not surprised in the slightest.

I will fully admit that I expected this to happen. I set up these dominoes for myself. I knew Saihara-chan and the others were so ingrained in the mechanisms of the game and that Monokuma was desperate enough that it would be inevitable for him to rely on the Talent of the Ultimate Detective to get out of the mess I'd made for him and they would just accept it because as far as they were concerned, Monokuma was the god of this world.

I wouldn't be surprised if the first time this happened, it went almost exactly like this with the exception of Ran-chan's presence (and the fact he sabotaged it, but I'm not in the mood to elaborate on that).

It's just a fact of the bias I set up. I'm a liar. I'm a cheat. While I'm not proud of the narrative I was complicit in letting Shirogane set up for poor Gokuhara as the easily-manipulated idiot, it absolutely served its purpose to cast an even worse light on me in the end.

That's what I wanted. I needed them to believe I was the mastermind, and in the event of my death, that they would be so biased towards my "malice" that they would not possibly be able to conceive of an outcome where I was the one under that press and Momota was the one in that Exisal.

That of course doesn't mean I had to like it.

It's laughably easy to tip the scales of bias when you know how. That's what lying is best for. Kind lies, cruel lies, they're all lies at the end of the day to the average person, and to the average person lies are bad. If you're known to be the boy who cried wolf right from the start, then people will just assume your only goal is to cause as many problems as possible just for your own amusement.

I don't usually broadcast myself as a liar, actually.

But that's also a lie.

It helps weed out the people with biases like that. Helps me find the people who understand the nuances behind motivation. Helped me curate my organization in a way that benefited the disenfranchised.

Not that the others would believe me. Because they know me as a liar, and liars are bad people so that means anything good I say must be a lie because why would a bad person who lies have anything good to say?

Even though I lost my cool and the mask cracked for a minute before Gokuhara's execution, they ate up my villain speech afterward like ravenous dogs. Do you know why? Because it fell in line with their bias. They had already made up their mind about me from the start, and I fed them and fed them and fed them until they had their fill.

It's easy. It's so laughably easy.

If it had been any other situation, I wouldn't have recruited any of them. Not one, except for Ran-chan, who was the only one of the bunch who picked up what I was putting down. But it wasn't any other situation. It was this situation, and I had no choice but to lead this sorry band of prejudiced idiots.

And what better way to string them along than to take advantage of their biases for my contingency plan?

It carried over from loop to loop, too. The disdain. The hatred. Even though no one else remembered the details, the feelings remained. It seemed to compound on itself and grow, more and more with every repeat. After that first time, that was it. I was locked into that role whether I liked it or not.

I made it work, though. I came up with all sorts of crazy ways to use it to my advantage. To steer the group in a particular direction with fear and fear alone. But maybe that's a lie. Maybe I was terrible at it and after that first bout with the press failed, it was all downhill from there.

I hated leading that way, but it had to be done.

But that's a lie, too.

Which part is the lie? Well, that's for everyone else to decide with whatever biases they have.

[thousandflame]

A while ago, Momo posted this and I've been meaning to do this for my OCs for some time because the reputation is clearly what strangers would know about them

what is your muses reputation & how did it develop?: back in the day, Cymbeline was a high profile mage and even after she left the spotlight decades ago, some of her reputation still sticks to her though much of the original facts have been twisted due to the passage of time and her lack of cooperation with the press. once upon a time, Cymbeline was a famous mage of her guild. she was S-class, after all, and part of a prominent team. she was also the niece of a very famous mage which all further dragged her into the spotlight. and when tragedy hit and almost everyone around her died, she became a tragic figure. and while people like to say "sex sells", tragedy sells pretty decently, too. Cymbeline had the reputation of someone who is "deeply unlucky"---but others wondered if maybe, she was curse. if all the deaths around her had happened because she was cursed. more recently, the idea of her being bitter and angry has reached the mainstream.

is it accurate/fair?: I think that while Cymbeline is certainly bitter over certain events, she is tired rather than angry. however, no matter how tired she is, she will hold people accountable. it is not in her nature to just sit back, even if it would be better for her own (mental) health

how do they feel about it?: Cymbeline does not care about her reputation. the people that matter to her know the truth. everyone else? why would she care about their opinions when clearly, they do not care about hers?

what are some rumours about your muse? what would the average person know or assume about your muse?

Rumours she cannot get rid of

001. she's cursed, that's why she has white hair and red eyes! (she really is not) 002. she is Lyon Vastia's mother. (this is a recent one. she is not and she only knows Lyon personally because he is in the same guild as Logan with whom Cymbie is friends) 003. she is somehow related to the Strauss siblings (again: solely based on her hair colour) 004. she is a very accomplished fire mage and fire magic runs in her family. (actually true.) 005. way back, she was romantically involved with her teammates. (she was not, but they were all dating each other.)

Actual Facts people might know

001. she used to be in FT where she was an S-class mage 002. she is the only currently known user of her specific subset of fire magic, but it was passed down in her family for generations. her uncle was also adept at using it. 003. her uncle was killed in the Tower of Heaven 004. she maintains friendships with other former FT members while keeping some distance from the main FT crowd, presumably due to the age difference 005. she generously donates to various charities as her name can often be found in press articles on this topic

what are things most people Dont/Wouldn't know about your muse? (we all hate when someone has their muse know something about ours that they shouldn't know)

001. why she left FT 002. the depth of her feud with Yajima 003. details about various meetings she has had more recently with Ivan 004. where she had her former teammates buried. the team was very popular, back in the day, but they did not just have fans. especially their romantic relationship caused some people to hate them. Cymbeline did not wish for their gravesite to become a target for worship or for vandalism 005. her medical record---allergies, etc.

How does your muses reputation affect them?: if Cymbie was still a public person, her reputation would probably affect her more, but she is trying to keep a low profile. she is content with where she is now, and while she knows how to leverage her old reputation for her adventage, she is not attached to it. and since she is not attached to it, she can shrug off negative articles about her. she does not mind being reviled by some media outlets for how she decides to live her life because she knows they are taking aim at phantoms

[knight-rider-fan-2000]

The most self-indulgent thing I've ever dreamed up for this fandom is an OC named Phoebe. She's 42, has three kids, and works as tech support at an early Apple-like company. Oh, and she uses the primitive early internet to be pen pals with Kitt.

His side of the story is that he got really bored waiting in a parking lot next to her work building and decided to surf some message boards. He found Phoebe's posting stating that she was looking for friends and. . . well, decided to respond. It took him a solid 72 hours of writing and proofreading, as he wanted the message to be absolutely perfect, but now he's got the hang of shorter response times.

Kitt is, of course, extremely vague about his own details- he's mentioned that he works in law enforcement, that he has a partner named Michael, and that his hobbies are unusual, but that's about it. He mostly prefers to hear about Phoebe's life and give her advice on it. She talks often about her kids and her job. She also opens up about her ex-husband, who was recently convicted for gang activity. She worries, sometimes, that the gang will break him out of prison and that he'll come for the kids.

Upon hearing this, Kitt gives her the Foundation's number, and tells her to call should she need it.

Sure enough, FLAG receives a call from a 42 year-old mom of three, and the case gets pushed through to the information-gathering stage. Kitt, however, shows up with all the information necessary, leaving Michael and Devon with raised eyebrows. Kitt insists that it was simply a lucky bit of data he stumbled upon, nothing more.

(Truth is, he hasn't told Michael about Phoebe, and at this point, he's worried that he might get in trouble. The guilt is eating him alive, so he chooses to omit. What Michael doesn't know can't hurt him.)

So Michael and Kitt roll into Phoebe's town, and Michael goes to knock on her door and introduce himself. Phoebe is grateful to see him. Then she asks, "where's your partner?"

"I work alone," Michael replies. The usual charade.

"Oh. But what about Kitt?"

"How do you know about him?" Michael comes off sharper than he intends to. He knows this woman doesn't mean any harm, but any time someone on a case has known about Kitt in advance, it's usually because they're trying to steal Kitt's technology.

Phoebe explains- they've been exchanging emails for about half a year now, and Kitt seems like an absolutely charming fellow. She'd love to shake his hand. Michael says he'll be right back, steps outside, and demands that Kitt explain immediately. Things get cleared up (and Michael forgives him, of course), but not before Kitt begs Michael to not tell Phoebe of his real identity.

Because. . . truth is, Kitt knows that people treat him differently. Even some of the nicest, most tolerant people can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that he is more than just the average computer. He likes how Phoebe treats him currently and doesn't want to risk losing that. He has trouble properly articulating this to Michael, but Michael is able to connect the dots.

So Michael steps back inside, says that Kitt is "working remotely", and the rest of the plot-of-the-week ensues. They investigate the gang and protect Phoebe and her kids. But all throughout, Michael has to pretend that Kitt is 100% a normal, ordinary car that definitely doesn't talk, adding a layer of challenge to the whole event. Kitt feels horrible for handicapping his ability to help Michael, but Michael insists on keeping the promise no matter what.

. . . and THEN Michael gets captured by the gang.

So not only is Kitt dealing with the stress of that, but he also has to worry about ruining his relationship with Phoebe by revealing himself.

He's got no other choice- Phoebe's the only one who can help. The local police have been bribed, and she's the only one who knows the location of the compound. But she's obviously scared, doubting herself, fearing for the safety of her kids. Kitt first reaches out through a phone line. She's nervous to hear a voice she doesn't recognize, of course, but he quickly proves that it's him. Her mood improves instantly. She's grateful to finally hear his voice and asks what she can do to help.

He instructs her to the cabin of the black trans am in the driveway.

And Phoebe doesn't react all that well. Lots of disbelief, lots of awkwardness. It's exactly as Kitt feared. She can't see him as the witty and charming person on the other end of her letters anymore. He grieves over this, but he knows himself too well- he'd gladly self-destruct to save Michael, and this is little different. Even if it is more. . . difficult, almost.

They move to infiltrate the gang hideout where Michael's being held. As they devise a plan, though, something interesting starts to happen. Phoebe starts to understand. She starts strategizing with him. She trusts his judgements. She even cracks a joke that only they would understand. They break in to the hideout, Phoebe and Kitt both get moments where they get to be badasses, and rescue Michael. With the power of the three of them, they take down the gang and turn them into the police.

Everything culminates in a final scene driving back to Phoebe's house. Michael, of course, is still pretending that Kitt is Definitely An Ordinary Car, Nothing To See Here. . . and Phoebe gets pissed. She launches into a full tirade in Kitt's defense, citing all the wonderful things he's said and done. She exclaims that Kitt is "more of a man" than her ex-husband ever was, and that she's honored to count Kitt as her friend.

"Thank you, Phoebe," Kitt say shyly, on the verge of digital tears.

"Ah, so the cat's finally out of the bag. Good!" Michael smiles.

And they all have a good laugh about it. Before Michael and Kitt say goodbye, Phoebe makes Kitt swear to keep writing to her, which he readily promises.

Needless to say, he's able to be a lot more honest in his letters now.

---

The title of this fic would be "The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known". I've been sitting with this idea for about a year now. Unfortunately, I've had other novel-length writing projects that have been sucking up my time, leaving this idea on the back burner. However, I still wanted to share it with you guys because I thought some of you might like to hear about it!

[lulupen2023]

Fluff is In bloom: Like Father, Like Son

Summary: A collection of hyper fluffy and BellDom stories, of any era, as long as there's fluff and some filled prompts

I- Like father, Like Son: it's T2L , get ready to deal with super lovely baby Bing, fun and cuteness are in the air!

This work participates in the initiative '#SpringBingo ’ of the group @Non solo Sherlock - FB multifandom events group

I'm really sorry if I keep flooding this section but inspiration doesn't stop knocking on my door and these are the results.

probably no one cares, but i like sharing anyway, hoping to make someone smile...

Prompt used:

'It's Gonna Be a success!' by Jeremy Marsh Blue eyes, by Alex Antognazza He had enjoyed X years of total irresponsibility, by Clau Albertini Time, by Artemis Karpusi Vargas Good manners, by Elena Altamura

Disclaimer: nothing of this ever happened, I don’t know Matt, Dom (I wish I could!) nor all the people around them, I don’t earn a single coin from writing that, I just please my crazy mind, lol

Like Father, Like Son

“It will be a success. I'm sure." comments Matt, to say the least excited, concluding his phone call. “Are you inspired for a new song to write, Bells?” asks Chris, sitting next to him in the lobby of the London Hotel where they stayed to participate in three different programs in the space of just five days.  

Normal routine when they are  in full promotion.

"There's not only work ,Chris, especially if you have a little baby waiting for you at home all eager, you who are the father of two hundred children should know this better than anyone!" replies Dom, who, as usual, knows every detail of the life of his best friend and life partner… in every sense.

“You are always so exaggerated. I only have six!” specifies the bassist, and then scratches the back of his neck a little embarrassed, assailed by a doubt that only statistical research can remove, as they get into the taxi that will take them to the airport. “So… has it arrived?” turns to Matt Dom, perhaps even more excited than him.

“Yeah, Manson just called me, it's custom made for Bing, he even sent me pictures!” Matthew approaches him, proudly showing the display of his mobile.

Chris doesn't even pay attention to them, busy as he is scrolling through the results of the google pages.

“But she's beautiful, you're right, Matt. It will be a success!” Dom lights up with enthusiasm, giving him a big smile.

“Instead of going right back to Los Angeles I’m gonna stop at Exeter to go and collect it, because, it's true, I could have it delivered, but I prefer to bring it myself. Dommeh, do you want to come with me?” the frontman asks, with perhaps too much expectation gleaming in his blue eyes.

Dom, however, is about to disappoint those expectations. “Sure, only to see you run to your family and act like you're in a goddamn breakfast cookie commercial? Thanks, but no thanks!" snorts the drummer.

“I should have known,” sighs Matt, his blue eyes now glazed with gray disappointment. “But know that yours is the only cookie that makes me happy. Oh wait, I didn't mean it to sound so wicked and lustful." he thinks back to how he formulated that sentence, with a nervous laugh. In response, Dom gives him one of his best pouts.

“Oh, Bells, it's such a pity  you didn't mean it.” He whispers in his ear, nibbling a little on the earlobe.

Expectations come back to sparkle again in those blue eyes, they are only postponed to a later date. "Oh yes, I'm afraid I have a slightly above average level of procreation..." Chris mutters, on the train that is taking him home, closing Google and regaining awareness of the world around him and with it also a familiar face who is watching him sitting on the opposite seat.. “Hey, Matt, but you weren't supposed to go back to Los Angeles  together with Dom?”

--------------------------------- 

Time to have his precious extra baggage to add to the airport check-in and Matt really comes back to Los Angeles. He agrees to welcome Kate with a noteworthy kiss and then rushes off to whom is the greatest joy of his life. As soon as Bing sees him, he rushes towards him with a somewhat awkward but very tender run. “Daaadddyyy!” he giggles happily, letting himself be picked up. “Heellooo, my beautiful love, look what daddy brought you!” Matthew smiles at him, leading him towards the living room where he has abandoned all the luggage. With more eagerness than his son, he gets rid of the packaging and the box that protects that precious gift which turns out to be a miniature electric guitar, but certainly not a toy; it is perfectly capable of playing and can also be amplified. The background is glossy black, crossed by rainbow spirals, as is the small shoulder strap too.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Matthew says mostly to himself, observing her- to him every guitar is a she-  enraptured, only to realize that the child has already run to the other room. Matthew sighs a little disappointed, but the truth is that he's too tired to feel bad. -----------------------------------

The next day things seem to go a little better: Bing has accepted that Matt put the shoulder strap on him, making him hold the guitar in his hands and now he's imitating his father a bit when he's on stage, thanks to a video of a concert by the Muse that Matt is showing him.

Bing also has a plectrum in his hand that strikes the six strings and the fingers of the other hand touch the frets without any precise logic

Luckily for Kate and mostly the entire neighborhood, the little guitar is unplugged from the amp.

When he least expects it, Matt sees Bing pull out the guitar and grab it by the neck, lifting it.

Matthew is convinced that the little kid is about to break her, instead he sees him put her on the ground, as delicately as possible, give her two caresses with his little hand and then go away.

----------------------------------

"There's nothing to do. My son doesn't want to learn to play the guitar." Matthew vents disconsolately the following day, on the phone.

“Matteh, you remember that he's yet to turn two years old  in three months, don't you? And there's that thing called time, your son has plenty to spare," Dominic points out.

"It doesn't matter, it's not a matter of time, it's something that must be innate and I understood that it's not," sighs the other unhappy.

"Why? Did you realize that you wanted to play piano and guitar since you were in your mother's womb?” Dom teases him.

“Well, basically yes and probably my first cry was in falsetto!” Matt plays along and they both end up laughing. “Yesterday then, at one point Bing lifted the guitar, almost in anger, and I really thought he was going to throw her on the ground, breaking her.”

“Oh, no!” the drummer gets alarmed.

“But no, he put her away with kindness and left, as if nothing had happened. Not even this satisfaction he has given me” "Satisfaction?!"

“Yes, Dom, I could already see him on stage in a dozen years or so, crashing guitars against amplifiers, just like his father, but no, I find myself a serial guitar caresser at home!” the frontman grumbles.

"I've given up on understanding you... if anything, you should be thankful that your son has good manners" Dom rolls his eyes. "Though, Matt, have you thought that maybe the guitar isn't the right instrument?"

----------------------------------------

About a week later, Matthew shows up at Bing with a custom-made grand piano for the little one.

He sits him down and Bing, with a very unconvinced look, tries to press a few keys, repetitively, getting so bored that he throws a tantrum until his father pulls him down from that little stool that seems like an insurmountable obstacle to him.

Finally free, Bing crawls on the floor until he devotes all his attention to a clothes peg that he accidentally found on the floor, which he evidently must find much more stimulating than the piano.

Matthew, on the other hand, goes to vent his frustrations on his piano, composing a grandiose and at times a bit disturbing melody. ---------------------------------------

“Thank you for coming, Dommeh, so you can see it with your own eyes,” Matthew drags him into the house, as soon as he sees him arriving in the taxi.

"You've been begging me to come by for two days, calling me at any hour of the day or night... let's say you mostly took me out of exhaustion." snorts Dom.

"Kate isn't here, she's on a movie set and she's going to have it for weeks." the frontman informs him.

“This is excellent news.” the blond definitely changes his mood.

“Bing, daddy's love, come here, do you feel like showing Uncle Dom how you play the piano?” Matt calls him and the child runs, but more to jump into his beloved uncle's arms than to fulfill his father's request.

"Noooo, piano, ewww... ugly piano, boring.." the little one complains, with the most annoyed of expressions. "I'll pretend I didn't hear." Matt grumbles through clenched teeth. “Have you seen how he behaves?” he immediately turns to Dom.

"Bing, don't you really want to try, even if Uncle Dommeh plays the piano with you?" Dominic tries to persuade him, but in the act of bending down to put him back on the floor, the drumsticks  in his back pocket slip, falling to the floor.

Bing immediately grabs them and starts banging on the floor. “Bam, bam, bam, this is fuuuun!” he chuckles, moving towards the wall.

“Bing, stop now!” his father dictates. “Nooo! Bam, bam, bam again!” protests the little one, hitting the cushions of the sofa, not too satisfied with the noise he gets up to the height of his father's shins, that he doesn't hesitate to hit repeatedly and even with a certain violence, amused by the somewhat woody noise.

“Ouch!” poor Matt moves away from his beating fury, which continues with the adjacent furniture. “What did you say  about good manners, Dom?”

“Oh come on, that was fun!” chuckles the blond. “Rather answer me…why do you always go around with drumsticks in your pocket?”

"Well, if I meet a fan I can give them to her, then, who knows, one thing leads to another..." replies Dominic, with a sexy smirk.

Teasing Matthew's jealousy is always good and proper. Although seeing how much his beloved best friend overflows with joy whenever he is with his little baby gives the handsome drummer a little to think about. He has enjoyed years and years of irresponsibility, he wonders if perhaps the time has come to settle down and find himself a steady girlfriend, without giving up on the one true love of his life.

- Who knows… maybe in a few years even I will hold a little me in my arms !- Dom gets lost in his considerations, not disdaining that possibility at all..

Meanwhile Bing has found the ultimate victim: the small piano.

He begins to beat the drumsticks with force and a frantic rhythm, trying to hit every key he encounters in no particular order.

Needless to say, it just emits an unbearable cacophony.

Matt looks at Dom and he sees pride in her blue eyes. “My son is a genius and has created a new instrument: the pwums or the dwiano!”

 “Matt, be consistent, this just can't be called music!” Dom complains, plugging his ears. “But, you know, this is giving me an idea, do you trust me?” ------------------------------------------

And since Matthew blindly trusts his beloved, the next day Dom shows up at the Bellamy/Hudson house with something very special.

The time to build it and in a short time Bing is faced with mini drums, similar in all respects to one for adults, with drumsticks more within his reach.

It goes without saying that the child is beside himself with joy, he sits down, starts hitting every part of it and doesn't stop for hours.

Fortunately for the neighborhood, the room is completely soundproofed.

Matthew has to accept it: his son will probably never become a guitarist or a pianist. -It doesn't matter, I can always pass on my good taste in clothes to him!- the handsome pianist does not lose heart.

---------------------------------

Famous last words.

The following afternoon the two musicians scamper through every children's clothing store, with Matt getting excited every time he finds some shirt or onesie with aliens or sprinkled with glitter or both, and Bing crying his head every time his dad tries to make him wear something like that.

Among the many items on offer, Dom grabs a shirt with images of Spiderman on it in various attack positions and Bing waves his hands enthusiastically, a sign that that will be the winning purchase.

There is a sector that separates them from the cash registers and it’s the one of toys and stuffed animals.

Matthew gets excited when he sees a giant banana that can even be peeled off, pulling various zippers up and down.

“Bing, don't you also think it's the most beautiful toy in the universe? It also smells like banana! It's soft, it's giant and it's super bananish!” Matthew waves it in front of him but mostly tends to hug it to himself.

Bing doesn't even look at that thing, but reaches out for a small stuffed leopard.

Matt glares at Dom.

"Bells, look, I have nothing to do with it!" The handsome drummer gets defensive, and then turns to the boy. “Hey, little champion, you like this big cat's specks, don't you? I like them a lot too. So uncle Dommeh is gonna buy it for you,” he decides, grabbing the puppet with one hand but taking with the other the giant banana that Matt reluctantly decides to put back on the shelf. "And we pass this off as another toy for you, but we all know who I'm really buying it for!" he adds, earning an enthusiastic grin from Matthew.

Leaving the shop, Matthew seems lost in thought, while Bing has fallen asleep in the stroller.

Dominic leaves him silent throughout the journey, but when they arrive at the frontman's house, he can't hold back any longer.

"Will you tell me what's wrong, Bells?"

“I was thinking… Bing is blond. He loves the drums. He likes Spiderman. He also seems to love leopards… aren't you and Kate hiding from me that he's actually your son?”

In response, Dom bursts out laughing.

“Oh please, Matteh, don't be silly. Bing couldn't be more like you!”

Matt looks at him puzzled, confusion making his blue eyes a little darker. The fact that he's so narrow-minded at times only makes him all the more lovable to Dom.

“And why do you say that, Dom?”

“Because Bing is exactly the same as his father: he can't resist me!” the drummer rejoices, taking advantage of the walls that now protect them from prying eyes to reach out to him and give him a kiss.

"Like father, like son!" chuckles Matt, much more relieved now. “Well, you know, Bing's nap usually lasts more than an hour…”

“Uhmm… and listen, do you have any ideas on how to pass the time?” Dominic looks at him seductively.

“You, me… and the giant banana!”

--

THE END

Notes:

hope you enjoyed it, but I'm getting sadly accustomed to slience… :'(

[worldsneverfilled]

Time Travelers — "The Guild of Event Enforcement" or TGEE

I'll edit and add to this as time goes on but for now, here are some of the ranks I have so far and their jobs.

Races from multiple realities and planes will be present in this guild. Some are homebrewed races and I'll link them once I finish making corrections to their lore that very needed because I goofed up real good.

Background is they're trying to undo the damage done by cultists purposefully trying to dismantle time in the name of multiple chaos gods. There are rumors that there might be a mole or two in the organization. I've taken a bit of inspo from our campaign tbh...

Watchers — There are seven of them and their role is to identify anomalies in time and then submit the needed changes to the Delegators and Historians.

Delegators — They take the new anomalies and write up a few details to create a mission that guild members will then bid on. Their role involves calculating the predicted outcomes based on what information the Historians provide.

Historians — They assist the Delegators with the finer details of the events and their role lies in historical research rather than the numbers and uncertainties that the Delegates have to predict. Their information is more concrete in comparison.

Auctioneers — They read plans the Event Agents present them for bids on jobs and choose those whose plans run the least risk of errors and will not collapse reality if the event is not ensured.

Event Agents — Event Agents compete for jobs via written reports detailing their plans for making sure an event takes place as it is meant to. Once they win their bid, they're given whatever gear they need for that era, micro language translators included, information on the culture of that area and era, and then are sent to that time period to make sure everything falls into place smoothly so the necessary, major event happens. Sometimes this requires killing people; they have to understand that sometimes an innocent life must be lost to be the catalyst for the event to occur. It's not a job for those who hesitate to take a life. All life is precious, yes, but all life may cease to exist if one life is spared that was the tipping point.

Event Enforcer Guards — Each Agent travels with at least one Guard to help protect them from whatever dangers may be present in the time period they're traveling to. While Agents aren't squishy by any means and are thoroughly trained in combat, the added protection provided lessens the risk of failure. Most are presumed to be merely grunts and barely above a standard mercenary, but the vetting process before they're hired ensures that not a single one of them is just a mindless brute, all brawn and no brains. They have to be intelligent with a sharp eye and sharper mind for details. Their role in the pairing is just as vital as that of the Agent. Some will eventually choose to become Agents themselves, possessing the same love of history as their partners.

Quartermasters — They provide needed materials for education and era appropriate weapons and clothing, along with any other necessary supplies to help the Agents and Guards blend in. Each quartermaster is assigned to five teams.

Known Members:

Carla Normal —Event Agent

Dorian Wright —Quartermaster

Guthry Average —Event Enforcer Guard

Pearl Cattan —Delegator

Cyprus Noname —Event Agent

Theron Dekrel —Watcher

Chipper —Historian

Digi —Watcher and Quartermaster

Jer Shafwell — Event Enforcer Guard

[starrybluez]

Thank you for tagging me @vanillaveils and @modernmanblues 🧡💙 sorry I took forever to finally answer these!

What are you currently reading?

Deep Waters - Kim Clark

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this past year?

Didn't go this year

What do you usually wear?

Mostly comfortable clothes, nothing fancy unless I'm going to a wedding or something.

How tall are you?:

Outside of Tumblr, I'd be considered about average, probably. But on Tumblr, it seems to be a different story!

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?:

Capricorn / Michael Stipe (lead singer from R.E.M.) / Historical events: 1865: New York Stock Exchange opens its first permanent headquarters; 1936: Billboard Magazine Publishes First Pop Music Chart; 1954: Elvis Presley Records First Demo Record; 1974: Watergate; and I don't think anything interesting happened on my bday during my time. I left out most of the awful events, like massacres and bombs - seemed to be a great day for those. 😐

Do you go by your name or a nickname?:

I go by my name (which you'd think would be short enough but people usually like to shorten it even more!)

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?:

I wanted to be an author and illustrate my books. So not quite 😂

What's something you're good at vs something you're bad at?:

Good: photography / Bad: team sports (hate having anything thrown at my face, thank you very much...I do not miss anything about gym class pre-college years).

Dogs or cats?:

I guess both? I don't like when either of them get aggressive (yes, I've known some mean cranky cats). It's usually the laid-back sleepy animals I prefer.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this past year?:

From my side blog that has only a handful of followers at the moment:

All photography and all edits on that blog are my own.

What's something you would like to create content for?:

Illustration for children's books or poems

What's something you're currently obsessed with?:

Dark chocolate 🍫 always wins.

What's a hidden talent of yours?:

With concentration, I can wiggle my ears sort of.

Are you religious?:

Yes, but I'd like to be stronger in my faith.

Are you in a relationship?

Yes, and it was a lovely wedding 😂😂

What's something you wish to have at this moment?:

My legs back to normal! They've been hurting and swollen after a medical procedure I had last month. The nurse said they should go back to normal eventually, but I think it might be awhile.

Also, see answer to previous question.

Tagging: @musicacuantica @tiggertaylor @fatal-plastic-kiss @pauls-mccharmly and anyone else if you want!

[ithisatanytime]

Spiderman Opening Theme (High Quality)

in those short couple of decades the so called nuclear age, radioactivity was set to explain everything! roughly half of the jewish comic book heros becoming popular at the time owed their powers to this new mysterious force, radioactive spiders, gamma rays, beta rays, mr fantastic, the sun and the moon and the stars. we were on the brink of a nuclear age! of nuclear weapons unlike the world had ever seen before and a new exciting form of power, NUCLEAR POWER. so you use some specially prepared plutonium or uranium or some radioactive isotope and you put it in a pool of water and that generates steam which turns a turbine and then you got power baby and clean too! nuclear waste is NOTHING compared to coal waste and there are far fewer greenhouse emissions as its generating power from steam not burning carbon, so why havent we adopted nuclear power wholesale? why do we instead choose to dig metric fucktons of coal out of the earth and burn it when we could get the same for a fraction of the labor, and a fraction of the cost with almost NO greenhouse gas emissions? why isnt greta thunberg screaming from the roof tops about this? its not chernoble or the three mile island incident i mean we still HAVE nuclear power plants all over but just not nearly as many as we have coal burning power plants, and do you know why? because it fucking SUCKS! thats why, its horribly inefficient way to produce steam let alone power, and the powers that be know it and they are as reliant as the power grid as we are so they fucking dropped it, told some horror stories and dropped it dont think about it too much. you see i could get the average man getting bored of the nuclear hype, but not industry, they would quietly make them anyway without giving a shit if the average man was entertained and sleep on piles of fucking cash, but its shit, everything nuclear was exaggerated. many of these exaggerations i know if they had the ability they would go back and undo, and again parallels to the holocaust mythos where early on before the official narrative was cemented long after the supposed events took place some time in the mid fifties, before then there were all kinds of messy competing theories all about equally popular as far as hitlers favorite method of killing jews was, electrified floors was popular as was throwing them alive screaming into burning pits as eli wiesel relates in his supposed first hand account of the deathcamps, his book being the second most popular autobiographical account (its night btw) behind the diary of anne frank, neither book mentions ANYONE being gassed to death, and WEASELs account of people being thrown alive into the pits was challenged by fellow jews when they finally settled on gassing, but besides the big details were all those little details that made for excellent horror propaganda such as human lampshades and soap and babies sewn into soccer balls and men masturbated to death with machines and many other lies that were once accepted as factual but the jews would rather be left forgotten, i get that same sense when i think about the nuclear winter, the shadows permenantly etched into the concrete, the blinding flash, the thousand year uninhabitable zone due to fallout and all this shit some of which theyve already had to backpedal on considerably namely the nuclear winter and fallout stuff they have publicly recanted more or less to very little fanfare 

oh and ill go more into space later but i just want to briefly mention that growing up i was told that venus was not just uninhabitable but unexplorable, due not just to extremely high temperatures but due to its literal either hydrocholoric but more likely sulphuric acid atmosphere, come to find out russia during the space race, was sending ALL their shit to venus, and the only known images from venuses service come from several russian missions to venus... WHY? the narrative is america had set its sites on mars because they thought it might be habitable someday, and it makes sense, seeing as how its not coated by a thick atmosphere of fucking eight hundred degree sulfuric acid, what were they hoping to accomplish and it cant be a propaganda moral victory or else they would not have kept their achievement a secret. let me make it clear i was learning this information from someone much more knowledgeable about the topic than me as i never gave a shit about space it always seemed gay to me, but i would try because i considered myself a science nerd you know, but this guy believes in all of it, everything nasa says probably wants to work for them some day, point is this was not a conspiracy channel or video just someone relating the cool declassified images from “venus”. and he was conveying that these missions greatly challenged preconceived notions about the planet itself, and thats really what im getting at with this shit.  as a species we seemed to be advancing slowly at first but then we started accellerating and faster and faster, fire copper bronze iron steel steam electricity automobile, and then manned flight, the first manned controlled flight with a biplane, then just fifty years later, jets helicopters and most amazingly of all, space flight, we finally left our planet, and in the same way that fire revolutionized the life of the common man, and so to did jet engines revolutionize life for the common man in its commercial applications imagine how much more radically manned space flights to other celestial bodies will have changed life for the common man! except beyond what technology is supposedly only possible with the use of satellites in outer space, it hasnt really effected shit. there is as much time passed between now and the so called moon landing as there was time between the wright brothers first manned flight with their paper mache looking trash to the supposed first manned flight to the moon, do you see what im getting at? the same for the so called nuclear age, everyone and i mean EVERYONE has the sense that we have been moving backwards since about the time all these wild and revolutionary things were invented, things that seemed like magic, and then its like they were forgotten. i understand that we couldnt remain in a space craze or nuclear craze forever but even if the public moves on industery doesnt, and if a tool has a practical use than it will be adopted for its practicallity not its popularity but its as though knowledge of space exploration tech and nuclear tech were forgotten, for as much good as they do the common man. the craze is the invention, the actual invention a fabrication.

how has it been so long since anyone was even afraid of nuclear war the way they were during the cuban missile crisis, and how could such an incident happen when M.A.D. which is the sole reason that for ONE HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS no other country has used the nuke besides the first and last time on japan. i know the premise of the crisis but its a shakey premise because while cuba had missiles in striking distance of the US we had missiles in striking distance to them and our allies had missiles pointed at their allies over sees so you know... mutually assured destruction? i dont think they could MAKE americans actually afraid of nuclear war at this point and they dont even try hard, i know they try but they wont commit because even they can tell its just poinless. if nukes were at all real, btw, that would literally be all anyone was talking about twenty four seven 365, because we are currently on the “verge of world war three” but in reality no one is sweating it because deep down you just kind of know dont you and im already over explaining.

[seelestia]

calling 1-800-SEELESTIA for the matchmaking event !

hi theree!! thank you for holding this event !! i'm quite a new user of tumblr so it's my first time participating (and learning) about these kinds of stuff 👉👈 i hope i did it righttt <33

anyway here's some stuff about me!

[ personality traits ] - quiet, polite, respectful, skeptical, aloof, detail-oriented, a menace to ones i'm close to

[ hobbies ] - writing, watching documentaries, lurking and laughing at any twitter drama (it's fun lmao), singing alone (but i don't have a nice and dulcet voice ;-;)

[ interests ] - history, out-of-pocket jokes, weird food combos, cursed memes, tv shows/anime, all kinds of music

[ love languages ] - quality time, giving gifts, & words of affirmation

[ mbti ] - INTP-T

[ additional stuff! ] - she/her, my height's shorter than average T-T, tbh i don't know the exact meaning of the word dulcet 😭

thank you so much againnn!! i hope you have a nice day <33

thank you so much for choosing 1-800-SEELEETIA's speed matchmaking services! the keyword: dulcet is inserted . . . congratulations, your result is successfully unlocked! [ submissions are closed, event post. ]

lia's note: hi, anon! dw, you did a great job and i extend you my warmest welcome to this hellsite of ours (affectionate) >:) <3

「 YOUR MATCH IS . . . HEIZOU! 」

Most people may take a look at your interests and think that they may be a little... unique. But what else would the word, "unique" be if not specifically made for our detective, SHIKANOIN HEIZOU himself? Your aloof attitude barely wards him off at all, you're not so certain if it's a good thing or not.

To him, it is rare to find someone who shares interests within his range. What are the probabilities of finding another person who loves historical topics, documentaries, trying out different things, and silly jokes? You're like a gold mine he can't miss out on. His intuition is telling him that there is a spark just waiting to be ignited!

So, you'd best bet HEIZOU will pester you persistently until you accept his extended hand of acquaintance. He is the tenacious kind with a certain charm to him, unfortunately; always flashing you that playful grin whenever he brings up a topic he knows very well you're dying to nerd out about.

Once you grow closer, however, it just becomes a competition to see who would be the better menace between the two of you. Besides, your sense of humor coincides with his, you'd have loads of fun snickering when you spill tea about gossips with him. You and HEIZOU are just known as each other's partner in crime by other people, at this point. Maybe he isn't so bad, huh?

(By the way, remember that thing when he used to call you a gold mine back then? He found a better way to rephrase that, so how does "my one and only destined soulmate" sound, partner? Hah, he is messing with you... just a little.)

「 RUNNER-UPS: Itto, Kazuha. 」

[universallycoffeedream]

Top Mail Order Bride Dating Sites - find your Favourite website Here!

This may come as a bit of relief: The Facebook Dating feature won’t show your dating profile to your current Facebook friends, and none of your Facebook Dating activity will be shared on your regular Facebook page. You may think the auto show is a fine Plan B if you can't score tickets to the art exhibit -- your date, not so much. You might be able to code it from scratch in a day or two since you've spent so much time already working on the problem. Find out how much money you'll need for food, tickets or souvenirs. As a result, they might lash out when you want to hang out with other people. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the "grabbing coffee" version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easy-going atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. נערות ליווי בהרצליה If you and she "click," suggest a more intimate but nonthreatening follow-up: coffee at a popular restaurant, say, rather than a walk in a quiet park. Having common interests or shared circumstances makes it easier to break the ice, and you're more likely to pick events that you'll both enjoy. Pick an informal, open-ended event with no set agenda, like a street fair.

Once you've begun to talk about it openly, though, you can begin thinking about how you'd like to make the initial introductions. I mean, I’d give it a shot and see what happens,” said White, who has tried other apps like Tinder. Facebook launched its in-app dating service in the United States last week, and it could potentially rival other millenial-loved dating apps. Facebook can tell when its useds are asleep. Studies have found that negative or abusive behaviors in unhealthy relationships are more likely to increase over time. Just choose an activity that you both enjoy and will have fun learning about together. Knowing that you have a plan for how the date will unfold ahead of time can give you a bit more confidence to actually ask the person out. We have decided to give back to our users an even better experience that will be with them anywhere they are. While some of the more recent rumors have been dispelled, other fan theories are hopeful that Sel and Chris are Hollywood's next it-couple. While there are a million ways to do non-monogamy (and a lot of them really don't work for me), I found that those practicing "non-hierarchical non-monogamy," or "kitchen-table poly," offered me the most security and comfort - and in my experience, the least drama.

While we can't cure shyness in five easy lessons, we can give you five tips for overcoming your inner Charlie Brown -- five strategies to boost your confidence. Henshaw M.A., Jon. "6 Tips For Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Marriage." Family Resource. Simpkins, Brian. "How To Keep The Spark In Your Marriage." Life Script. New experiences keep marriages dynamic. Keep contact details private. Why keep around bad samples? For example, two samples taken from the tombs of two Egyptian kings, Zoser and Sneferu, independently dated to 2625 BC plus or minus 75 years, were dated by radiocarbon measurement to an average of 2800 BC plus or minus 250 years. This effect is accounted for during calibration by using a different marine calibration curve; without this curve, modern marine life would appear to be 400 years old when radiocarbon dated. Using your personality test and search, EliteSingles sends you a list potential matches. Their dedication to helping over 50 singles find a place to date, combined with how well known they are, makes it a must for any list of over 50 dating sites. Scout the place out and do a run-through. For more, check out What The Heck Does Nintendo's Mysterious Ring Actually Do?

Check with your date first, however. Find a Slavic woman of your dreams on Anastasia Date! Find a subject that you're both interested in and gab on. Most importantly, don't let life's responsibilities constantly be the subject of your discussions. Unless you're thinking back to your sixth birthday party, probably not. Second, when attempting to build something new, we rely on existing tools, infrastructures, and concepts, which may direct us back toward the problems we are working against. Especially in my discussion of Bridgy’s relationship with Facebook’s API in Chapter 7, it is clear that responses to this objection are not all-or-nothing. New Thai females and ladyboys are joining every day, looking for love, new friends, conversation, and Thailand-based relationships/marriage. If you're not a member of a group or club, consider joining one. A few months later, I said no to renewing my lease, packed up the cat and one backpack of clothes and my laptop then bought a one-way ticket to London. Japanese VC firms largely fund established entrepreneurs who might be called intrapreneurs: they put in twenty or thirty years of service with a particular company or group of companies, have an idea for a product that they can sell that company, raise investment from that company’s closely affiliated VC firms, and then may eventually be acquired by that company.

[stellardeer]

very long personal vent post tw suicidal thoughts, tw eating disorders seeking support/advice tho

So I've been coming to grips with the realization that I truly am disabled and that my life may never truly be "normal". I'm going to write this out as the thoughts came to me, so I can.. better capture my emotions surrounding it, more as a journaling device for me than for any real relevant context.

I was thinking recently about how fascinating it is to me what different people consider to be "a long time", with respect to like.. a period of time spanning multiple days/weeks/months.

It applies to anything, but all of the examples I can think of apply specifically to like.. relationship-related events?

For instance, I've known people who get out of a relationship and might say something like "I need some time to work on myself I'm going to stay single for a while" and then re-enter the dating pool after 2 weeks.

I've talked about "taking it slow" with people who seem to think that me still being unsure about things after 1 month is unreasonable.

I've known people who get married after only knowing someone for 6 months, which seems insane to me.

I've (foolishly) attempted to make up with an ex and, after hesitantly asking for reassurance that things would be different, been angrily told "It's been 2 whole months, I can't believe you'd assume I haven't changed!!" (Which.. like, that response alone told me all I needed to know, spoiler alert: he had not)

To me, "a while" is like... 6 months minimum, like if I say I'm gonna stay single for a while, that's at least 6 months. If I say I want to take it slow, I mean for like the first 2 months we're basically still just friends, and it'll probably take me half a year to decide if I actually see the relationship going anywhere. My spouse and I were together for 5 and half years before we got married and even then, I still wasn't totally sure if it had been enough time for me to really tell if it was a good idea or not, but I really wanted him to have health insurance and I trust him so I did it anyway. I've been actively working on my flaws for at least 10 years now, and I don't think that I'd begun to even consider myself "changed" in any capacity until someone told me like 3 years ago that'd I'd "really got this 'being a person stuff' figured out".

And at first this was just like 'haha it's funny how we all have different perceptions of time' type thing. And I started exploring reasons that might contribute to that.

At first I thought that maybe my long-term memory had something to do with it. I don't have like a statistically accurate measure, but based purely on anecdotal evidence, I feel like I have a pretty above average long-term memory. Forget the short-term, I can't remember jack shit about what I'm supposed to be doing at any given moment, but I feel as though I'd be able to pretty accurately fill out a day-by-day calendar schedule of events spanning back multiple months. Thinking about this, I realized that 6 Months feels like an acceptable minimum to me for "a while ago" because my accuracy for details caps at about 6 months, beyond that things start to get a little fuzzy and I only remember the events that stick out.

But then I started thinking about my life for the past 6 months, and I realized that most of my days are largely the same. So then I started to consider how our perceptions of time are heavily influenced by our lifestyles. I work 40 hours a week and use my weekends for activities, with sparse weekday events here and there when I have the PTO for it. The work changes week to week, but it's pretty easy to remember what I've been doing for 6 months when only ~8 out of ~30 days in a month consist of something other than sitting at my computer and writing code. Someone who has a very busy schedule might experience "more" time because they are doing more things. It's a lot harder to remember what you did every day for a week if you did 50 different things, versus only having done about 5 different things.

But this led me to thinking about my weekends. And about my work schedule. And of course the "isolation under capitalism blah blah blah" came to mind, like how frustrating it is that I have to ration my freedom between 8 measly days per month because of how our society is structured. I realized that lately I've been scheduling my weekends out weeks in advance because I don't have any other time to do something, and I thought about how a lot of those days consist of only 1 activity, and how that's both a sad and laughable product of the fatigue that comes after 5 straight days of work. I can't even clean during the week because after work I just want to relax so I'll schedule a whole day on the weekend just to clean my bathroom and nothing else, haha! Isn't that funny and relatable? A whole day just for cleaning the bathroom, because I know that if I try to schedule more than 1 thing in the day it will be too much! Obviously I'm going to remember what I did, cause I only did ONE THING, lol. And I'm not even talking a deep clean either, I'm just wiping down the tub, cleaning the sink, and sweeping the floor, but I need a WHOLE DAY for it, hahaha! Isn't this a crazy universal experience??

Except that after repeating that again in my head, it really hit me that actually it is not.

Yes, it's true that a lot of people are affected by the capitalistic 40-hour workweek and have to relegate all fun to 2 days at the end of the week, and this is frustrating for anyone. But a lot of people are actually capable of doing a whole lot fucking more in 1 day than just cleaning the bare fucking minimum of 1 room. But I know that that's all I'm capable of. I know that I'm likely to not even be able to get started on that activity until very late in the day, and if I try to make any social plans then I'm less likely to complete the chore because I have to respect other people's schedules and they'll probably be wanting to meet up around the time that I would be just starting to work on my chore. So I can't plan anything else but that chore because I don't want to worry about how long it's going to take me, and I only end up doing the bare minimum to make it tidy and comfortable because any more than that will exhaust me. I'm already spent after cleaning only the tub, sink, and the floor. There are areas of my house that will more than likely NEVER be cleaned because I will never have the time nor energy to decide that it's worth cleaning. I clean my bathroom maybe once a month, because that's literally all that I can manage, there's no chance in hell I'm ever going to be able to waste effort on, idk, the top of the fridge?? The baseboards? The cracks beside the stove? They're all disgusting and likely will be til the day I move from here.

And I realized that even when I plan these Single Activity Days, I CAN'T EVEN COMPLETE THEM WITHOUT BEING MEDICATED ON MY PRESCRIPTION AMPHETAMINES.

Yes, this is relatable for millions of other people in my shoes, but thinking about all this just like... really truly hit me how fucking DIFFICULT life is for me, and how I am fucking kidding myself at this point if I think I'm ever going to be Normal™.

I can't even get out of my fucking bed most days. Not without my meds anyway, which is FINE, but sometimes it can be hours before I even take my meds because just taking my meds is a whole fucking task in itself!!! But even though my meds help, they're also fucking killing me at the same time. I'm already fucking underweight, I have been my entire life, I've never been anorexic or bulimic or anything, I just suck at feeding myself, and my meds are sapping the fucking life out of me because they suppress my appetite, and leave me even more weak and crumpled at the end of the day than I might have been otherwise. I feel like at this point I'm choosing between having enough energy and motivation to make money and live while wasting away day by day until it kills me OR being able to eat but being UNable to do literally anything else with myself without being EXTREMELY exhausted and depressed.

And the worst part is that my social life is ABSOLUTELY suffering for it, like I can't even BEGIN to entertain the idea of building new connections right now (let alone maintain existing ones!!!!) because I'm in such poor health that it's all I can think about at all times. It's like I have to choose between my work, my animals, my health, and my social life, but the social life isn't even really on the fucking table, while also ultimately being the MOST crucial of all of those to my sustained well-being! Like, if I lose my friends I feel like I've lost at life, like what am I even doing it all for at that point, you know? If I lost my friends I'd probably go fucking insane with anxiety because I would have nothing to ground me. I feel like I've become the dad in one of those hallmark movies that can't come home for Christmas because he had to work and he has to relearn the importance of family, but it's not like I can just stop working because I need money to LIVE.

Like, could I find a new job with less hours? Sure, but I'm not going to be able to work less and still make the same amount of money, and given that I am completely independent now and would probably have to choose between losing my home and starving myself anyway, it's not like life would be any easier! I can't lose my home because I have nowhere else to go and I have too many animals to support, so quitting my job isn't fucking possible.

Could I rehome my animals to reduce some of my overall stress? I mean yeah, but they are literally the only thing keeping me alive right now. Some days the only thing that gets me to get up out of my bed is the fact that I HAVE TO walk my dogs outside, I can't have a fence, they have to be on a leash, and they are NOT gonna go to the bathroom inside, so I HAVE TO get up and take them out. And even then, if I somehow let myself get so negligent that I stopped caring if they shit and piss in my house, I HAVE TO feed them and I have to GET OUT of my bed to do that. If I got rid of my animals I would probably just fucking kill myself because I wouldn't be able to convince myself that I had a good enough reason to get up every day. Not to even MENTION the emotional toll it would take on me to lose what are basically my fucking CHILDREN, so NO rehoming my animals isn't even on the table.

So then it's down to my health or my social life? Obviously I'm going to pick my fucking health. It's a daily fucking STRUGGLE at this point to do anything BUT focus on keeping myself alive. I feel like I'm playing the fucking Sims on hard mode, like I'm doing all I can to fulfill my needs so I don't die and it's impossible for me to prioritize my friends because I'm doing everything in my power just to make it through each day. Which sucks SO FUCKING MUCH because for the last few years I've worked SO HARD on becoming someone dependable and reliable, someone who is helpful and compassionate and puts others first, and now I just CAN'T. I feel like I'm no longer deserving of the title of someone who "really got this being a person thing figured out".

And I KNOW that capitalism sucks and whatever and we're all experiencing social isolation and we're all tired, but I know for a FACT it isn't THIS FUCKING DIFFICULT FOR EVERYONE. I see my parents, I see my officemates, I see my peers, I KNOW that their lives are nothing like mine. It took me 9 years to finish a 4-year degree for a reason. I'm on medication for fucks sake, it isn't even a fucking question anymore of whether or not I'm fighting a disability, but I've been telling myself for so long "if I just start doing this" "if I can just get this under control" "if I just eat right and exercise" that eventually I'll be NORMAL and FINE and life will be EASY, but the fact that I've been telling myself that for almost 28 years is an indicator that there is clearly some OBSTACLE between me and "Normal", and it isn't as easy to overcome as everyone keeps trying to get me to believe it is.

I'm disabled. I have a disability. I struggle to take care of myself alone. I'm constantly in pain and constantly tired and I have been for my ENTIRE LIFE, this is NOT NEW, this is not just because I have a fulltime job now, I have been this way for as long as I can remember and the only difference having a job makes is that I am now OVEREXERTING MYSELF every single day just to achieve A FRACTION of what others can.

Like, obviously, I know that step 1 is talking to my doctor about maybe switching up my meds and/or talking to a dietician so I can try to get a handle on my malnutrition situation. That's going to happen, it isn't even a question, because if I keep going like this I feel like I'm gonna be dead before I'm 40. But I'm just at a fucking loss for like.. how to COPE? Like... how am I supposed to deal with the crushing reality of like.. "It's never going to get better is it?"

I was yelled at and beaten for so much of my life for being "lazy", and told that I was faking or that it was all in my head or that I just wasn't trying hard enough. Over the years, I guess I started to believe it. I convinced myself that I just hadn't figured out yet how to do Life right and that's why things were hard for me as a kid. But I really feel like a 4 year old that refuses to participate in anything athletic because it's uncomfortably painful and tiring cannot just be fucking Lazy. Should that not be a red flag that maybe something is fucking wrong with them? Even STILL I have people constantly telling me "well just do this" or "don't do that" as if I really have a fucking choice. I get people frustrated with me because I don't have the energy to do something, and it's like they think I'm just lying because I don't want to do it, not because moving around is painful to me. But I've been ignoring my own symptoms for so long because I feel them everyday and I've just forgotten that they're there, and all I can say is "I'm tired."

And part of me feels vindicated in knowing that something IS wrong with me. All I ever fucking wanted as a kid was to be believed, to be LISTENED TO when I said that I CAN'T do something, it wasn't just because I didn't want to. Part of me feels relieved to FINALLY be able to prove that I wasn't just fucking LAZY and I wasn't LYING all those years. But there's also a part of me that internalized all of that and I'm unable to accept that I can't do things by myself. I mean even in a best case scenario, I get the perfect little drug cocktail to help me live a fulfilling happy life like nothing is wrong and I don't need to rely on daily assistance, I know I'm not going to be able to shake the resentment for the fact that I can't function without the medication. It's like... a bitterness that I have to do things this way forever and others don't. The jealousy that I couldn't just be born Correct or whatever.

Not to mention, I've been shamed for so long for letting other people do things for me that I feel like it isn't even an option. I think that I would GREATLY benefit from having a live-in caretaker, because even with my meds, I can only do so much and I neglect ALL of my basic needs on a daily basis, not just eating. But for one, I don't even know what the qualifications for that are, I feel like I doubt my health insurance would cover it unless I was unable to work. And also, I would just feel embarrassed about it? I'm absolutely in favor of the idea that anyone who needs support should get the support they need, but the people IN MY LIFE are the ones who make ME PERSONALLY feel bad for having someone else help me do things, and given that I've been made to feel like everything is my own fault, I feel like I would be given a lot of shit for paying someone to help me.

I mean even just like.. hiring a chef would help me tremendously, I don't really have the space for someone who is actually live-in, and I have a decent amount of disposable income so I think I could afford it, but somehow even that feels wrong to me. Idk, I think that part comes from like.. a lot of people seem to think that hiring any service worker like that is inherently evil, but I'm not mcmansion fucking rich, I live in a goddam trailer park.

Idk, I think I'm finally reaching the end of this very very long vent post, and if anyone has actually read all of this I really appreciate it and if you have any helpful advice for like... coming to terms with the fact that something really is wrong with me, I'd love to hear it!

[thegrandlinesimp]

Heya Line! 💗 I hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself! Your autism awareness event is such a good idea, especially because you're bringing awareness of autism through your writing! ^^ May I request Katakuri and a GN! S/O with the stimming prompt 'Have they ever tried stimming with their s/o? If so, what happened?' please? Thank you and please take your time with requests!

Xintbsux I knew you’d ask for mochi husband! I have so many food-related headcanons for this event with this man! And before you go on, yes, when I’m not in public I do eat doughnuts as is described here…in fact, I eat all icing covered food like this (my non-autistic brother is the opposite though, he eats icing first like a heathen)

BTW: anything written like this is information pertaining to autism that helps add context and is written in such a way that one’s eyes are drawn to it but is easier to ignore than if it was in bold.

Katakuri stimming with autistic!S/O

(Fucking, just look at this dork I can’t I love him so much!)

JOKES ON YOU THIS FABULOUS BASTARD ALREADY STIMS!!!

Stay with me on this

Jellybean doesn’t even know he already stims, so when he sees you rolling a small rubber ball between your hands, smiling away at how smooth it feels on your palms, he asks you if he can try stimming

“Try?” You ask him with a tilt of your head “but you already do.”

He’s so confused

You explain to him in detail what stimming is and what it does for you, how it centres your mind and relaxes you, how it’s something you enjoy and do whenever you feel you need to, how if you don’t you clam up and feel out of sorts with the world

Then it hits him

His merienda!

It’s to help him relax! Check! Stimulates a sense in a way he enjoys! Check! Does it on a regular basis! Check!

This does not mean Katakuri is autistic, this is known as “autistic tendencies”, where someone isn’t autistic but does things that are considered as something that people with autism do/have, like having one of your five senses be stronger than the average person’s, just because you have that one thing doesn’t automatically make you autistic, though if there are multiple signs I suggest perhaps getting tested

If you haven’t already been invited to one of his meriendas, this prompts him to do so

You would’ve had to have seen his face before though

However, when the moment actually arrives, precious mochi man is understandably unsure about gorging on his favourite snack in front of you

Until you do something…interesting, with your own little pile of doughnuts

Holding them carefully with your thumb and index fingers so as not to get icing on them, you eat just the base of one, scooping out as much f the dough with your finger as you can, before putting it back and grabbing the next

By the third he asks if there’s something wrong with the icing

You blush as being caught, looking down at the half (longways) eaten doughnut in your hands, turning it in your grasp

“I...really like the icing…”

Katakuri’s heart melts at the soft, shyness of your words

And then he realises what you’re doing

He grabs one of his larger doughnuts and proceeds to chew through the base as you did with yours, leaving the icing

Then - thanks to his devil fruit powers - he puts the whole icing top (with a little bit of dough) in his mouth

The moment he starts chewing he knows he was right about what you’re trying to do

By taking away a large portion of the dough, your amplified the taste of the icing and sprinkles, while still leaving enough dough for his brain to immediately recognise the food for what it is

Yet the explosion of icing makes it so. Much. Tastier!

He recalls your sense of taste is more sensitive than his and can only imagine how wonderful it must be for you

Katakuri looks at you only to find your face with your plate of half-eaten doughnuts, icing on your cheeks, and crumbs on your lap

He smiled, heart-swelling as he joins you

He never imagined doughnuts could get any better, but you showed him!

His meriendas are even better from that day on

[akumicchi]

Akumi's notes: I'll follow everyone's advice, but knowing myself as I do, I rather not taking a formal "break", otherwise it may happen what I fear, and that's something I won't allow. So here's a rushed snippet, poorly translated and not proof read. As always, Spanish is under the cut. I would suggest reading both versions, since little details always fade with translations. Although, there's nothing to do if that's not your strong. Anyway, I hope you get hooked by this, see ya around.

Hokugatsu Academy: Rumors of lost glory

[…]

—Aizawa-sensei, is our school going to be the location for this event? —Yaoyorozu raised her hand.

—No, the first, second and third year’s event are located differently and were chosen randomly. UA isn’t hosting any of them this time.

—Which means…

—It means we’re going on a trip! —Ashido jumped out of her seat like a spring, eyes shining excitedly. Her enthusiasm spread to the rest of her classmates, which voices rose up quickly in an incomprehensible gabble.

[…]

—Hokugatsu Academy?! —everyone’s eyes widened for different reasons.

—What’s that? —Kaminari turned around, not understanding at all why this school was such a big deal.

—Hokugatsu Academy is also called “The First North”, and it’s known for being one of the first Hero Academies that were built when hero work became an actual job to keep order! —Midoriya talked so fast it was almost impossible to keep up with his pace, to the point that his words mixed and overlapped— Ahh… I’m sure there will be very strong people with amazing quirks! I can’t wait to see them in action!

[…]

—Oh, really? I’ve heard other stuff about Hokugatsu Academy, and they are more on the dark side —Hagakure intervened with her clinking voice, specially emphasizing the last two words. Apparently she made some kind of gesture with her invisible hands, trying to grab the attention from above Bakugou’s head.

Eh? —Midoriya’s bubble of thoughts suddenly popped off— What kind of stuff?

—Stuff like 75% of the students become villains after graduation~?

And then the whole classroom went silent.

[…]

—Honestly, I’ve heard a lot of stuff about that too —Satou held his chin with his big hands and pursed his lips trying to remember—. Like, I’ve heard that they have the worst average grades from all the other academies.

—I don’t know, apparently they have an admission test super strange and hard. Some people say it’s even harder than UA’s.

—Hah! I remember that our admission test was a piece of cake!

—That’s what you say now, but did ya forget already how scared you were that day? —Jirou cocked a brow towards Kaminari.

[…]

—The other day I left some documents at the teacher’s office and overheard Cementoss-sensei complaining about having to repair the main building for the third time this month.

[…]

—Someone told me that most of them are very careless —Kirishima spoke slowly to the rest of the class, not looking away from his own hands-, and im not talking just about the students, also the teachers. To the point they have to learn many things on their own.

—What kind of guidance for future heroes is that?! —Iida couldn’t hold back.

—Aizawa-sensei, ¿nuestra escuela va a ser la sede del evento? —Yaoyorozu alzó la mano.

✶⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷✶✶⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷✶

Versión en español:

Academia Hokugatsu: Rumores de gloria perdida

[…]

—No, las sedes para los eventos de primer, segundo y tercer año fueron decididas al azar. La UA no será sede en ninguno de ellos esta vez.

—Lo que quiere decir…

—¡Quiere decir que nos vamos de viaje! –Ashido saltó de su asiento como un resorte, sus ojos brillando de la emoción. Su entusiasmo rápidamente de expandió a sus compañeros, que comenzaron a levantar sus voces también.

[…]

—¡¿Hokugatsu?! —los polluelos abrieron los ojos como platos, cada quien por sus diversas razones.

—¿Qué es eso? —Kaminari miro a los lados con una tonta expresión de desconcierto.

— ¡La Academia Hokugatsu, también llamada ‘‘El primer Norte’’ es conocida por ser una de las primeras academias para héroes que se construyeron cuando el puesto fue habilitado como profesión para mantener el orden! —Midoriya atropellaba su explicación mientras respiraba pesadamente por la emoción—Ahh… ¡Seguro hay muchas personas fuertes con singularidades impresionantes! ¡No puedo esperar a verlas puestas en práctica!

[…]

—¿En serio? Yo he escuchado otras cosas sobre la Academia Hokugatsu, y son más bien oscuras. —habló Hakagure con voz cantarina, moldeando específicamente la última palabra. Hizo un gesto aparente con sus manos invisibles, irónicamente intentando hacerse ver por encima de la cabeza de Bakugou.

—¿Eh? —la burbuja de pensamientos de Midoriya se reventó de repente— ¿Qué tipo de cosas?

—¿Cosas como que el 75% de los graduados se convierten en villanos~?

Solo con una frase la chica había ganado toda la atención del salón.

[…]

—La verdad es que yo también he escuchado todo tipo de cosas recientemente con respecto a la Academia Hokugatsu —Satou se tomó el mentón y apretó los labios intentando recordar—. Como que tienen el peor promedio de todas las demás academias.

—No lo sé, al parecer tienen un examen de ingreso muy extraño y difícil. Se dice que es incluso más difícil que el examen de ingreso a la UA.

—¡Hah, recuerdo que nuestro examen de ingreso estaba chupado!

—Eso lo dices ahora, ¿pero se te olvido lo asustado que estabas ese día? —Jirou levanto una ceja en su dirección, retándolo a decir lo contrario.

—¡Mgh…! —Kaminari evadió sus ojos con una mueca en la cara.

[…]

—El otro día fui a llevar unos documentos a la oficina de los profesores y escuché a Cementoss-sensei quejarse de que era la tercera vez en el mes que tuvo que ir a reparar el edificio, y estaba todo menos contento.

[…]

—Alguien me comentó que la mayoría son muy descuidados —Kirishima finalmente habló despacio al resto de la clase, mirándose las manos mientras lo hacía—, y no solo los estudiantes, sino también los maestros, al punto que tienen que buscar y aprender muchas cosas por su cuenta.

—¡¿Qué clase de guía a los futuros héroes es esa?! —Iida no pudo contenerse.

[nctsjiho]

Shocking Truth Behind NCT JiHo’s Hiatus Revealed + SM Official Statement And Apology

July 24, 2021 By J. Mitchel (K!Today)

After an internal investigation of SM Entertainments financial reports, specifically those regarding NCT, the likely reason of JiHo’s hiatus from April to May of this year, has been revealed. The reason why this information, which I’ll be explaining in a bit, is only deemed “likely”, is because anonymous sources said this is only “part of a bigger problem”. However, what I’ll be diving into in a second is fully factual (unless stated otherwise), backed up by plenty of evidence, and I can conclude that this has been a driving factor of JiHo’s hiatus.

Visas, Working As A Minor And Bing A Foreigner Working In The Idol Industry

For those who aren’t aware, Geovanna Dubois, otherwise known as Lim Jiho, and debuted as JiHo, moved to Korea in late 2014. At that time she was only 13, turning 14 soon in international age, which made her a minor. Because her family stayed back in France, where she lived prior to becoming a trainee, she had to be assigned a guardian.

This guardian was an employee at SM Entertainment who was not particularly close to JiHo; it was stated that:

“(the guardian) was only in charge of legal affairs regarding JiHo and everything else: housing, medical needs, schooling, leisure and so on, was taken care of by other employees and managers - who kept in contact with JiHo’s family - until she was no longer a minor”.

However it was revealed that JiHo’s guardian had not taken care of their part of taking care of JiHo. For a total of 6 months, they did not provide JiHo with the right Visa (this does not include failing to renew her Visa when renewal was due). For a total of 4 months - beknown to managers and other employees - they violated the rules under the Child Labour Laws in Korea. And for her whole career up until April of 2021 they did not provide her with her fair earnings she deserved (more on this later).

Until 2020 all of this went unnoticed by the higher ups in SM Entertainment. An ex employee, who wanted to stay anonymous stated:

“There was always so much secrecy going on in the office. I felt insanely guilty towards JiHo because she wasn’t given fair treatment behind the scenes. Employees would fake reports about the state of JiHo’s legal documents. I thought it would all stop when she debuted, but things continued as they were.

… They withheld money from JiHo’s wage to pay off debt caused by the mistakes the employees made. One day the department got a 10,000,000.00 Korean won (around 8,500 USD) fine for violating Child Labour Laws. Instead of going to the boss, employees would take money from JiHo’s bank account - the guardian had full access to it - or would write it off on JiHo’s trainee debt. Something like this shouldn’t happen in such a big company as SM.”

If you thought this was bad, that was only just the tip of the iceberg.

Unfair Pay

As mentioned before, part of JiHo’s hard earned money would go to paying of debt and fines, but that’s not all.

JiHo is one of NCT’s rappers. But did you know she also participated in writing lyrics and sometimes help in arranging songs? Especially for Japanese releases. For most of her work she did not get credited, but apparently this was because of the percentage of her input being “too low”.

Whether this is a fair reason or not is not something I can comment on. In my small amount of research in this area I have found that not everyone gets paid the same just because they are credited in a song. And even if I find that logical, by that statement I would assume that JiHo should have been credited for every song she participated in.

However, that’s where I found out the reason as to why she might not have been credited for every song she worked on.

Comparing her with other members of NCT who have put in similar amounts of work into writing, producing, arranging music, as well as overall performing, making public appearances, modelling and other schedules, taking in account the money employees took away for debt, JiHo on average would receive only 80,6% of what her colleagues would earn.

Keeping that in mind, I suspect that if they would’ve credited her for every song, it would’ve been more obvious that she didn’t receive the payment she deserved whenever this news would come out. However if that was the reason behind this, they failed, because almost every source who is covering this news has at least mentioned this.

Today’s Reality

Before we go into SM Entertainment’s official statement and apology (yes I was also surprised by this), let’s talk about how these events have affected JiHo.

Of course we don’t know all the small details, and according to the previous anonymous ex employee there have been some problems with an ex manager, but in the big picture JiHo did not get affected by these past events on a day to day basis. Having said that, one thing does break my heart in this whole story. The same ex employee also stated that:

“While all this was going on, one of the managers - or maybe it was the guardian themselves - contacted JiHo’s family. They told them lies so that they would not ask JiHo to go visit them back home. Since her Visa wasn’t always okay, it might have caused problems once she left Korea. They also told her family it might be best for them not to visit JiHo because she was ‘doing fine’ and them visiting would ‘cause a distraction’. I once had JiHo’s mother on the phone, she seems like a sweet lady, who was heartbroken not being able to see her daughter for years, being under the impression that visiting her daughter would be a burden to her and her career.”

I hope that with everything that I’ve shared here, you can understand the severity of these events. Knowing that this is only a small percentage of the whole situation makes me scared to hear what else was going on. But let’s hope that things look better for JiHo’s future.

SM Entertainment’s statement

“This is SM Entertainment.

Earlier today, documents and numbers surfaced that we weren’t eager to show to the public. These documents revealed things that you weren’t meant to see either. For the longest time, we, the higher ups in SM Entertainment, were unaware of what was going on behind the scenes. That’s our mistake, and we want to own up to it now.

We should have been more thorough. We should have been more involved. But as we were tricked into thinking everything was fine, we decided to put faith in our employees and let them operate as they were.

Even though we felt cheated and tricked, we were not the real victims here. Lim Jiho, one of our idols, is the one who got tricked the most.

For the years we’ve known her she has grown incredibly much. She’s one of our most hardworking idols. She’s skilled in everything she does. She’s an inspiring and friendly soul and we, SM Entertainment, are extremely honoured to have her as one of our idols.

We are sorry to JiHo, to her family, her friends and her fans for all the discomfort, uncertainty and pain we have caused them. A simple sorry isn’t enough and that’s why we have decided to take some actions.

For JiHo: As you are aware, JiHo is now also under Esteem. The statement we have issued before still stands. We will work together with Esteem to provide JiHo with all the opportunities she deserves so she is able to grow in an even more talented and loved artist.

We will not only take accountability for the financial injury JiHo suffered, but also will try our best to put her emotional and mental health first. Many of these things we have and will continue to discuss with JiHo privately. She will, if desired, reach out to fans and friends on her own accord to talk about her side of things. So to respect her privacy we won’t go further into detail.

For family and friends: We are incredibly sorry towards JiHo’s personal and private relationships to which we caused damage. From the many foreign artist we have under our label, we know that homesickness and missing friends and family is natural. We did not mean to put even more of a strain on her relationships. Again we want to respect the privacy of everyone who is involved, so we will be reaching out to JiHo’s close family privately to issue a personal apology.

For the fans: We are again incredibly sorry towards all of JiHo’s fans who have been worried about her not only during her hiatus this year, but throughout her whole career. We know you want to see more of JiHo and we, along with Esteem and of course JiHo, will try and give back to you as much as possible by providing you with the content you deserve.

We know that the fans will be the happiest if JiHo is happy, so from now on we will make extra sure that JiHo’s happiness is our top priority.

Our apology doesn’t excuse our past actions and from now on we will try to be more transparent as that is something we heard many fans shared their concerns about. We want to let you know that most of the things we’ve discussed here are things we’ve been working on ever since JiHo’s hiatus started. But since the news is now public we want to assure the people that actions are indeed being taken.

We would also like to let everyone know that there have been actions taken in regards of the employees, managers and direct contacts who were at the base of all of this.

From now on we will be focusing on making things right and moving forward. Thank you for your patience.

Fans are happy to hear that SM is taking actions. Even if some things go unexplained and many fans don’t believe SM is being completely “transparent”, they are content things seem to start going into the right direction.

When more news surface (which I have a feeling it will) I’ll be updating you guys about this. For now I’ll leave you with some of the fans’ reactions to the situation.

What do you think about SM’s apology? And how do you feel about hearing the truth about JiHo’s hiatus? Let us now in the comments bellow or on our Twitter @KNewsToday