#(idk anything but ik i miss you).

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

what's your take on odasaku and dazai's idealization of him?

also any takes you want to share about bsd/bsd in general?

(If you don't mind, I'm also interested in your thoughts about verlaine if thats ok 😭) tyty

who's your fave bsd character and whose the character from bsd you want to have more screen time?

i think its another case of projecting onto someone and it fucking things up. like notably how kouyou projects her own feelings abt light & dark onto kyouka. we just dont often see it that way because what oda does is like. stereotypically good? he uses his dying words to push a friend out of the dark. a death motivating others to act and furthering their character development is classic storytelling. you go into bsd knowing dazai is on the "good guys" side (not that the ada are "bad" but obviously reading bsd as a good guys vs bad guys story is. wrong), so clearly it worked out. so you kind of overlook the surrounding events yk? plus dazais own idolization of oda hammers that in. dazai tells atsushi that "He was a friend of mine (...) He’s the reason I quit the Port Mafia and joined the agency. I’d probably still be killing people for the mafia if it wasn’t for him" in dead apple (the lightnovel. im not going to go through pulling up the movie for this fhfhtndj). and so aside from previous bias people are going to take what dazai says at face value. hes thankful oda showed him the "side that saves people" and of course we're going to agree with that. the thing is. again. projection. now i havent actually finished dark era (i am working through it) but a lot of the time it feels like oda is just shoveling off all his feelings about being "someone meant for the darkness" onto dazai when thats something thats not going to be true for. well. anyone really? and his final conversation with dazai is very influenced by that. he says "You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live... (...) You won’t find it (...) You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity". now the thing is this is kind of a fucked up thing to say to an 18 year old with suicidal tendencies, but odas view of dazai makes it seem like a well needed wake up call. he obviously had good intentions. hes trying to "step into that solitude" but because of his flawed view of dazai he kind of. stumbles. dazai up to this point has been clinging onto the hope that he'd find a reason to live by observing the entire human experience. now oda comes along and dazai thinks hes found someone who understands him better than anyone, and oda tells him hes not going to find that. ever. so he should become a better person and make the world a good place. and also he's dying. so dazai, as we've seen, takes these words to heart. so hes not going to find a reason to live but he should also make the world a better place. good cool got that. so i think he gets a bit too comfortable being collateral for a good cause. and hes already convinced hes not going to find anything here, so of course hes not going to find anything. does that make sense.

i dont think ive phrased anything correctly here but like anyway i think with all his other friends around he'll be able to sort things out there. i cant see bsd ending without any sort of resolution for him in this regard yk.

[slytherinshua]

i miss kpop storylines being like bts'. it was realistic and immersive but also something you could wrap your head around for the most part with limited magical elements making things overly complicated

[bandtrees]

reblog to gently feed him a cheese puff out of the palm of your hand

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Live footage of ur fave mod getting ready in a wedding dress below the cut /j:

[cryolyst]

~

[xianyoon]

i miss 2021 genshinblr sm im ngl 😞😞😞

[bangcakes]

.

[februaryberries]

rlly dwelling in the Not Having A Friend Group rn. like I can talk to people and I have ppl I consider my friends but they r from all different areas and aspects of my life. and I don't talk to any of them regularly anyways. ppl are lucky if they hear from me once every few months, and idk how to like. not do that, bc also when everyone is kinda at the same level of distant, how do I pick who to reach out to? it's not that I like that person above all the other ppl I haven't talked to either. and like my definition of friend has changed bc I'm not close w ppl anymore

RAHHHHHHHH I'm feeling the loneliness and the isolation (that I have brought up on myself) extra hard tonight.

[ghastbutlikegay]

dudes ive hit a point with The Horrors:tm: where im unable to convince myself that any of my friends actually like me

[lesbiantrish]

it genuinely feels like every time im having a major breakdown i am fully invisible to everyone

[pancakehouse]

i think if hozier was the one narrating sally rooney’s audiobooks that might finally get me to finish smth by her . or niall horan

[burninlovebutler]

uM HELLO ?????????

literally ????????????? WHAT

i normally don’t like to share numbers but this one really blew me away

i’ve met so many people that have brightened my life in so many ways & have really brought happiness & joy to me when i needed it most

i’m SO grateful for this fandom and the connections, experiences & laughs it’s given me

thank you for everyone who was so welcoming to me and made me feel comfortable on here while sharing my lil thoughts/emotions/hormones lmao

and ofc thank you to anyone who reads my fics ♥️ it means the world to me truly

ILY ILY ILY ALL 💕💞💝💘💘💗💓💘💝

(ik this number may not be big in general but it’s big to me okay 😤)

i didn’t really wanna tag bc so many of you mean so much to me but i do wanna give big thanks to these babes who’ve just stolen my heart & who have become part of my daily life 💓💓

@cryingabtab (my 1st wife) - @succsessions (my 2nd wife who’s blog is down 🥲) @powerofelvis (my 3rd wife) @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit @luluthesandgoose @lllsaslll @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @bisexualwvtson @lindszeppelin @samfangirls @sagesolsticewrites @ab4eva @steph-speaks and really anyone who i’ve had a good interaction with, this fandom is so beautiful 😭

you guys really do make my days better 💗💗 i love you all and i’m so happy we met through such amazing men 💓💓

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

[elegyofthemoon]

it's wild thinking about how it's been a whole decade since i actually got into/discovered fragile dreams and it still sits as a game pretty important to me because of how much it inspired me to write

i won't say it's the best game ever. there's moments where the game itself lulls while you're exploring the empty post apocalyptic world. sometimes you'll find yourself wandering without any other music but the sounds of your footsteps, drifting aimlessly through the area, but i think that's what makes discovering the memory items even more endearing. in the empty world where you are a lone survivor, you try and seek out the contact of another human, but all you have are the memories left behind by one

memory items are probably my fave/best thing in fragile dreams, but that could also be because that specific thing is what inspired me to get back into writing. all these little mundane items, yet they each hold a lot of sentiment - a lot of story to them. the ones that were part of a series is honestly really nice when you think about the connections between each human individuals.

if the glass cage project's goal was to bind everyone together, it was pointless because there have always been connections between humans. just not ones as explicit as being able to read another person's thoughts and feelings. it was in the little mundane items. it was in the little moments shared between each other.

[dreadfuldevotee]

i am just...so profoundly tired of being me

[kuiinncedes]

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