#(its still demon slayer sunday. in my heart)

[swingstep]

[holding back tears] m muichiro stans stay winning..! ;;

[bbq-potato-chip]

oh no

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[juniperhillpatient]

I have talked about this a lot before but it’s on my mind & also it’s something that really should be discussed more in Buffy fandom -

People are constantly talking about how Spike defies all the rules Buffy was taught about demons & vampires & rightfully so. A vampire falling in love with a slayer & fighting for his soul for her is such a romantic notion & I do love it but the nuance of Spike’s arc is even more interesting than that! He does love Buffy but not only that he befriends the Scoobies too. He brings flowers for Joyce after she dies. He helps prove that Tara is not a demon when her family tries to gaslight her & isolate her. He becomes a pseudo big brother to Dawn.

And yet none of that is even what I’m here to talk about! Spike IS a hero & he does have a long spanning redemption arc before the soul (& we’re NOT here to talk about Seeing Red right now, as usual that topic is too expansive & requires its own post) that should be acknowledged & his character is rightfully praised but he is NOT the only exception to vampires having nuance & it drives me crazy that we act like he is. The Judge isn’t just talking to Spike when he says this:

“You TWO.” He’s talking about Drusilla too! He says that they share affection & jealousy. That Angelus in his total sociopathic lack of human emotion is the odd one here.

Then you have things like this -

Conversations with Dead People has Buffy sharing a very long & deep conversation with an old acquaintance turned vampire. And it’s far from the only example in universe of a vampire retaining some sense of camaraderie with people from their life!

That’s right this entire rant has been a lead up to talk about my best girly Harmony Kendall. You’ve fallen for my ruse if you’ve read this far muahaha! Admittedly Harmony’s strongest moments are mostly unfortunately on Angel but even in season four of Buffy when she dates Spike she is clearly intended at times to be sympathetic. Season 4 is also interesting because we see a lot interactions between various gangs of vampires like Harmony’s so-called minions & even Sundays gang where they’re very much evil but also sharing in living (existing?) space & acting like bickering roommates or siblings. Like creatures with bonds & personalities & intricacies.

The point I’m trying to make is that the show never truly wants to grapple with the existence of Spike in all his nuance but it’s also not just about him! In general there is so much to grapple with in the idea that vampires can change & be redeemed & I’m not saying I’m anti scary evil vampires I’m just saying the universe gave us these hints of nuance & then the characters never grappled with it & that’s lame. For Buffy killing things that have a shot at redemption however small would be a major emotional blow if she ever addressed it! Especially in her season 5 “am I just a killer 🥺” arc. Let’s deal with the implications!

Let’s deal with Xander’s trauma about killing Jessie & just how much it would/should hurt for him to see Spike increasingly choose good & work with the Scoobies. I would LOVE to know Xander’s reaction to Harmony’s arc on Angel or Cordelia befriending her & letting her go ina world where the writing acknowledges that he drove a stake through his best friends heart!

It’s just that the writers accidentally complicated their own lore & then totally refused to ever let their characters address what the cracks in the stories they tell themselves mean. Giles says that a vampire is no longer the person but instead the thing that killed them. What’s scarier: the idea that your loved one was killed & something wears their face like a mask OR much more insane (to me) the idea that your loved one came back very wrong but it’s still them? Your brother eats people now but he still remembers how you like your eggs & can quote every episode of the cartoon you watched as kids. Your mom murdered that woman from the PTA who always talked too much in cold blood but she still remembers the recipe for your favorite pancakes. The show wanted scary vampires but it got so caught up in never addressing the infinitely more complex & scarier vampires it accidentally created & sticking to the more simplistic initial idea that it did both the characters & lore very dirty. And I’ll never shut up about it!!!

[daizzypop]

Its cold outside , take this 🧥 - Demon Slayer Scenarios with GN Reader! 💫 🍃🌊

SANEMI 🍃:

Autumn already? U don't believe it, guess time passes really past these days. U grab bag in a hurry while still chewing your toast. Your late, of course you had to stay up all night playing Mario kart with Mitsuri and now you're waking up at 10, already an hour late! Okay maybe it's not that bad , at least it was with Mitsuri, but oh boy Sanemi was going to kill you for being late, you guys have a project to present for goodness sake!

"Run dang it! Maybe he's still getting out of bed, after all it's a Monday who wouldn't be tired! " You mutter to yourself, "Besides I'm sure he'll understand! It was a Sunday night and-" "And what better to do on a Sunday night than spend time with lovely friends all night playing Mario Kart, cut the crap already" Oh boy. Sanemi stands in front of you , you too currently outside of the main building, "What took you so long! Do you have any idea how worried I was!?" Sanemi half yells at you, not angry but rather more annoyed. "Aww you were worried for me?" You say in an overly sweet voice, trying to play it cool but that only seems to make Sanemi more annoyed, one eye twitching. "Tch. Like I was, whatever I don't even care, we are already late for the presentation thanks to you - his eyes narrow at you - so we might as well take it easy, let's just walk there no need to run" he says, already turning around to walk away so you hurry up to him, walking by his side. An awkward silence sits between you guys as you walk. You suddenly feel a shiver , dang it's cold. "Don't tell me u forgot my coat! " You curse yourself, if only you'd slept earlier. Gosh , you don't how you'll make it all the way to school in this state, you'd be a frozen cube before getting there. You suddenly feel something being thrown at you, a coat,.... Sanemi's coat. You look over at him,"Before you say anything with that annoying mouth of yours, I know you're cold, your teeth are clattering, your whole body is shaking, its annoying..so take this, it's cold outside"He says, despite his mean tone and words , his face holds a worried expression. Your eyes soften up, Sanemi is a meanie without a doubt but he's still a softie at heart , you smile at him giving him a hug as you walk side by side in a more comfortable silence.

GIYUU 🌊:

You walk towards the shop in a hurry, it's so cold you could literally freeze to death any second, god sometimes mother nature can be crueler than death. You finally make it inside, thank God you guys have AC in here, now you can finally start your shift. You put hair aside as you put on your worker apron, hopefully today won't be busy.

Lord have mercy on your poor soul. A Karen came into the shop you work at and of course had to make your life more miserable, claiming you got her order wrong, that you did this and put that into her coffee, you don't know how much longer you can hold back on grabbing a chair and throwing it at her.

Suddenly a hand grabbed the Karen's shoulder , making her turn around to face the person. Deep blue eyes looked you before staring at her, before a deep monotone voice spoke up. "Would you mind movinga already, you've been here for more than an hour and you're holding up a line, so if you got issues then leave if not then shut up, drink your coffee and leave" Those same blue eyes narrowed at the woman causing her to shiver in dear as she slowly backed away , exiting the building. Your eyes in shock as you sign in relief and turn to your knight in shining armor. Oh Lord he was handsome! His deep blue eyes that always invited you to stare, his long back hair , tied into a ponytail , his deep monotone, you could go on but that same monotone voice interrupted your thoughts. "Are you going keep staring or?" You shake your head in a hurry, "Oh sorry my mind! Thank you for getting kid of that woman, gosh I was this close to throwing a chair at her! Anyways what would u like?" He hums in agreement, "maybe you should have thrown that chair, anyway I'll take a black coffee only a little bit of sugar please" he says, turning to sit down at a lonely table. You nod , submitting the order before eventually delivering it, the days' gotten better cause of him, and you couldn't thank him enough!

However you noticed he didn't leave even after drinking his coffee, maybe he was waiting for someone, but yet as you began shutting down the store, he didn't leave , not until you grabbed your bag and went outside he took went out. "Oh hey ! You stayed there for a quite awhile, were you waiting for someone?" You ask with curiosity. "Not exactly, I was finishing up an essay to finish up urgently and I didn't have time to get home so I stayed there, I hope that's okay." He explained pointing to his bag on his back. "Oh that's fine! I understand, gosh I just wish I had more time though" You say, the man chuckles a little bit before nodding ina agreement. You suddenly start shivering, you really should have brought a coat! You were lost in your thoughts until you felt something wrapped around you, a coat.."I noticed your shivering so take this, it's cold outside right now" You looked at him with shock before smiling warmly, "Thank you so much, really , your very kind...?" "It's Giyuu and I suppose you are (Y/N), I saw on your name tag" "Yep that's me!* You laugh a bit as he walks with you side by side, smiling as you walk.

----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! This is my first fic on Tumblr, if I have time maybe I'll post a part two with more characters or post another fic. I might not post a lot of ve super active but I hope to be active at least once or twice a week :) ♥️

Tashio Secrets with DaizzyPop:

Sanemi and You made a presentation about dogs , while you guys were working on it he began randomly stating dog facts and about the dogs he had, so you joined in naturally and had fun. Also even though you guys were late the professor liked Sanemi's fun facts so he still passed you guys.

Giyuu let you keep his jacket and even gave a 20 dollar tip, soon he became a regular customers and began helping you by chasing away Karen's or bad customers even giving them a lecture. In return you'd help Giyuu with his social skills and sometimes make him free coffee

💫💫💫

[thegreenersideofit]

All things Mysore

Mysore (now officially: Mysuru) finds a mention on every page of the history of India. It’s located in the southern state of Karnataka. It is called as The Heritage City, the City of Palaces, the Cultural capital of Karnataka or even the sandalwood city of India. Mysore’s past is so profound; it actually defines its present. One cannot just casually talk about the history because the referencing overlaps ONE ERA TO ANOTHER. Inexhaustible material is available to understand the essence of Mysore city.

The Mysore pak, Mysore masala dosa and many more things with the word Mysore as a mnemonic should remind us non- Mysoreans of the royal connection that we are dealing with. These south Indian delicacies found their way out of their hometown due to the efforts of chain hotel owners who introduced them in their menu and then right into the heart of every other state. The Mysore silk production flourished during the reign of Tipu Sultan and it has come a long way since then. In fact, Karnataka Silk Industries Corporation has received the GI certificate for Mysore silk. Only sarees woven in Karnataka will be Mysore Silk sarees, thus patenting it. GI tag has also been received for Mysore Paintings, Mysore beetel leaf, Mysore Sandalwood oil, Mysore Sandal soap, Mysore Agarbatti , Mysore Mallige,Mysore Rosewood Inlays and Ganjifa cards.

Mysore is the seat of Maharajas, having been ruled by the Wadiyar(Wodeyar) dynasty since 1399. It is believed that a curse was cast on the Wodeyar family by Alamelamma  – the widow of King Tirumalaraja ”May Talakad turn into (a barren expanse of) sand, may Malangi turn into a whirlpool, may the Rajas of Mysore not have children (for all time to come)” The Wodeyars never had a natural legal heir. It emerged that no natural heir to the throne born to a king (adopted or otherwise) could beget children, whereas one who became king by virtue of adoption or other indirect inheritance was blessed with a legal heir. That brings us to the 27th and current custodian of the royal house of mysore – Yaduveer Krishnadatta Chamaraja Wodeyar. Yaduveer was 22 years old, when he was adopted by Pramoda Devi Wadiyar, following the death of her husband Srikantadatta Narasimharaja Wadiyar.

The tales of the royal family are plenty. A visit to Mysore palace is a must for every Indian. The pride felt when standing in front of the Palace validates the pages of history and makes you a part of it.

I have travelled the Ooty- Bangalore – Mysore- Coorg circuit with my family. Yes, I know, but I still cannot bring myself to call Coorg as Madikeri. Our stay in Mysore city was a very memorable one. The Mysore palace was the highlight of the trip. The palace is managed by the Government of Karnataka. The Royal Family currently resides here in a part of it. The entire palace is not open to tourists. One can visit the Museum that is within the Palace. The encapsulating Light and sound show towards the evening (except Sunday) portrays the history and tradition of the Wodeyars in a visual manner. There are in all 7 palaces in Mysore. The main being the Ambavilas palace or the Mysore Palace. This was day 1 @Mysore and we unwound at our hotel after our visit to Mysore Palace. We had just landed here from Bangalore in the morning and we needed to start early the next day.

Our itinerary read Chamundeshwari Temple. It is at a distance of 10 kms from Mysuru. Chamundi or Durga is the slayer of demon. Goddess Chamundeshwari is the deity of the royal kings of Mysore from time immemorable. The temple is located atop the Chamundi hills. The view of Mysore city from here is breathtaking. The temple architecture is a sight to behold. Usually, Friday is the most visited day to take the blessings of the deity. One can wait in the queue for the darshan or there is a paid darshan too. We took the paid one as the queue would run into an hour and we, as tourists, were eager to move on to the next highlight of our star city. 

After taking the blessing of the powerful Goddess, we left for Chamarajendran zoo also called as Mysuru zoo. It is spread over several acres of land. It’s very well maintained with all kinds of animals – hyenas, leopards, black bucks, magpies, several kinds of parrots. Basically, many species of birds, monkeys, wild animals and all species of deer. It has excellent litter control methods which are taken care of at the very entrance of zoo. The entry fees are quite reasonable too. The zoo is highly maintained. The zoo management is also in process of building a huge library/database area. There is also a small/ immaterial canteen. There are cream stalls located at several corners to help you take a break. Minimum 3 hours are required to cover the entire zoo. Rest depends on your ability to move up faster. I loved every bit of this zoo which was at par with international zoo standards. 

For the lunch breaks, we loved eating at a small joint run by the Mylari family. Its location is in a small lane, but the food is 5 star quality. The food business is probably passed over from generations to generations. This is quite inevitable in the taste of the dosas they serve. The lip smacking, finger licking dosas last on your taste buds long after you have eaten it. We MYLARIED every day we were at Mysore.

Last on the itinerary was the Brindavan Gardens. It is built on several acres of land.  And has a unique blend of many types of flower plants, ferns, shrubs and show plants…It’s a huge garden interspersed with different types of fountains. People of all age groups visit here and enjoy a beautiful evening with their loved ones. As we sat on the grass in the garden, we felt happy breathing the Mysore air without a hair of worry. At 7 pm, tourists eagerly await the dancing fountain show. To reach this part of Brindavan gardens, one can either walk up the huge stretch or take a ferry at Rs. 50 per person. We walked it up to see the show but took the ferry while returning.

We ended our Mysore trip with this, though there is much more which needs a tourist’s attention. We would be heading towards Coorg. Another super exciting journey…

[prose-for-hire]

Love, Hate, Love: Part two

Part One // Part Three

Pairing: Spike x fem!vamp!reader

Request: Spike and the reader really dislike each other until she recalls his human "identity". They were best friends as kids and wrote poetry together and upon remembering this their perception of each other begins to shift. This is part two of three.

Originally requested by: @therapieliteratur​

A/N: Head’s up: The timeframe is switched up a bit, Angel left earlier and Spike stayed in Sunnydale since like Lover’s walk or something. It’s vaguely set in season 3 but with very little season 3 written about. 

You smiled, skipping through the tall grass. Your best Sunday dress was starched rigid. Binding. But you had not wished to change, anticipation getting the better of you.

You were going to meet him again. It was a youthful love, you had only been a teenager. It was three, maybe four years before your death. Aged twenty.

The summer was uncharacteristically warm. Your eyes viewed this dream in sepia.

There he was. Your love. He averted his gaze as soon as you approached. He did this every time. He was shy, with a poet’s heart. You had always been the more confident one. He had caught your eye, he had been in awe of you growing up. Watching you from afar.

Ever since he could remember, his eyes had only been for you.

You had started to meet this way. Stolen moments. You sat under that large oak tree, on the hill. You could see for miles from up there, but your entire world was right there beside you both.

You weren’t supposed to be here. You weren’t supposed to meet him this way, you knew it. People would talk. But your hearts had sung when you were together. You sneaked glances at each other, your faces bathing in sunlight.

God, you missed the sunlight. Those youthful eyes transfixed on your own. Sparkling in the hazy afternoon sunlight.

You both wrote poetry, that had been how your minds connected. With your hearts following. You were well-educated for the time and he adored that your wit matched his own. That he had someone that could appreciate beauty and every other emotion you could find in nature. In life. Even in death.

You hid the last one close to your chests. It was macabre and others may have laughed. Others did laugh. When you spoke of life and love and death.

You had been viewed as outcasts but nothing mattered when you were together. When you had affirmations of his blossoming love.

Oh, you wrote such poetry. Together you could change the direction that the Earth would turn. Your love, your sweet and undying affections could stop the world on its very axis. You often read aloud. Your own work and others. You gushed over the others beautiful prose.

But this day, this one was special.

He had asked you to marry him that day. Through his carefully thought-out poem. You were both young, but there was no question in your mind. You had known him since you were a child. Your love growing from childlike friendship to subtle affection, before weaving into this unquestionable love. The foundations of your adoration so solid. There was no doubt in your mind.

This thought stuck with you, in your dream. You remember it now. This was a memory, no mere dream.

His love had made you weep like a baby. You could feel the salty tears welling, threatening to spill over your cheeks. Your hand grasped his, so tight.

Yes.

This was his turn for tears to well.

You were just smiling at each other now. You leaned in, initiating this. He had been anxiously awaiting this moment. Had written of it over feverishly. And you felt this now, where you hadn’t in reality. You felt his emotions, knowing they were pure. A pure love.

Your lips met, in a sweet kiss. It was simple and quick, but it was new to you both. Your lips barely grazed his and you found yourself instantly wanting more.

But, you pulled back to look at him. I mean, really looked at him.

Your decades rushed back to you. The wisdom of your age, all you had seen. Growing out of your naivety and the promise of this sweet matrimony. The wedding that never was.

You suddenly recognised him. You knew who was looking back. And you noticed he was doing the same thing. Scanning your face, trying to recall more of this forgotten youthful romance. This innocent love you had shared.

Something shifted as the penny dropped. The recognition. A storm started around you, one that had never occurred on that day. It had been a happy day, you hadn’t known what was to come.

You both started to be pulled in opposite directions.

You tried to cling to him, your hands grasping for him and he reached out. Trying to take your hand. You screamed, being pulled out of the dream backwards.

You recognised that look in his eye. Those crystal blue eyes that had seen you with such favour in your youth. Was the man, no, vampire you now detested.

And you knew it was him. Really him. He was dreaming the same thing. You didn’t know how, but you did.

You woke up with a start. You sat up instantly in bed, breathing heavily despite there being no need. You ran your hand through your hair in disbelief.

Oh no. Oh, God, no.

Don’t let it be him.

It stung. That your only true love could be the root of your current hate. This man, this infuriating man who stood for everything you now fought against.

Oh, you hated him so. For making you feel this way. All these contradictions weaved into the crumbs of affection that were starting to surround you. Leading you to a path you hadn’t travelled since. It was overgrown now, your heart protected by thorned bushes. By barbed wire and electric fencing.

You had let nobody in the same since. Had hidden yourself away, made yourself more reserved. Especially since regaining your soul.

Dreams are funny things. Sometimes abstract. Often a reflection of your subconscious. And apparently, today, they were shared memories of a lifetime ago. You hadn’t even thought about until it all came rushing to the surface that day.

Neither of you knew why now. Why had your minds hidden such glorious moments of your youth?

Of course, you both knew the answer. It was too painful. To remember what happened. The love. The loss.

At the same moment as you, he woke up with a start. His hand still outstretched for you as if he could have pulled you back out of that dream with him. Back into his bed, the way he had dreamed of having you all those years ago.

Oh no. Oh, God, no.

Don’t let it be her.

“Anybody but bloody her” He muttered, pulling the covers from his body in disdain and stalking towards his mini-fridge to get out some blood.

He hated thinking about who he had once been. William. He could barely remember much of that life anymore. He had consciously ignored that part of himself. But now it was all he could think of.

You. Oh God, how he had adored you. He couldn’t recall even now feeling as elated as he had when you had agreed. That summer’s afternoon. Sneaking around after and finding places to kiss you. To hold you.

Stupid, lovesick idiot. That was all he had even thought to do at the time.

His mind swam with such contradictory thoughts. Of course he had tried to reach for you, yesterday. To comfort you. Because you were her. God, he hated you for that.

You both spent that night walking directionless through your own memories. Ones that only now had been unlocked again. It was painful, bittersweet.

The gnawing realisation that your hearts were tugging you closer towards the other was ignored. Pushed away.

You couldn’t.

He couldn’t.

Not again.

You were sat in the demon bar. You had steered well clear for a few weeks but there really was nothing like drowning guilt, sorrow and now a fixation on a vampire you had thought you hated like drinking alcohol beside demons that loathed you as much as you loathed yourself.

And, of course, just as you ordered your drink he arrived.

You caught each other’s eye briefly. Both snapping your gaze away immediately once the other met your eye. He didn’t make a beeline towards you straight away like he usually would. You didn’t keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid this time. You wouldn’t dare let him see you looking.

It had been every day since last you saw each other. The same, or similar dreams. Of your youth. Your love. It was hard to face someone after that.

After a long while of arguing with his own mind, he moved to look at you. His silent strength (that you had loved about him) now showing. He would have to study your face, he couldn’t not. He had to check that it was you.

He sighed, taking a massive gulp from his drink. You were so different. Not in appearance but in character. You looked almost broken now. Melancholia pumped through your heart rather than blood. He could tell, his heart almost ached, knowing you were wracked by guilt or whatever it was that happened when vampires gained souls.

You looked up, glaring at him before dropping your look to your drink despite it never doing anything to you. He couldn’t not say anything. What had once been a quiet courage was now a bolder one.

“Oh, look it’s the Slayer’s pet. She loosened the leash tonight, did she? Let you walk around all by yourself?” He prodded. But his heart wasn’t in it, you could hear his usual amusement was failing him tonight. You stayed silent hoping he would just go. For very different reasons than from your last interaction.

You had been exhausted last time, indifferent.

Now it was because it was starting to mean too much. Hurt too much to look at him.

“Pet?” He asked, knowing you didn’t like it. Usually made you talk to him when he called you that. You just continued to stare into your drink, but words started to form in your mouth. A way you wouldn’t speak anymore.

“My heart is leaden, to my grave the thoughts do beckon.”  You recited the line from memory. A memory you hadn’t been aware of until recently. You didn’t look up from your drink, you were aching. Guilt and sorrow and him.

His eyes widened, he knew those words. It was you. It had only ever been you.

He couldn’t stop the words that left his mouth, the desperate grasping at the past, “Y-you saw it too, didn’t you?” He pressed. His voice wavered and his jaw tensed at his own nature. His eyes willed you to agree, willed you to show him that you hadn’t changed beyond repair. Hadn’t hardened the way he never thought you could.

“I don’t know what you mean” You said shortly, getting up and downing your drink before moving to walk away.

He swung you around to face him. Your fist clenched expecting a fight. But there was no more fight. You just stared at each other, feeling the proximity more intimately than you ever had before.

Your faces started to soften and you felt it. Because his touch was now reminding you of how he had held you. Stolen kisses and silent confessions of affection. Handwritten love notes and poetry that would make you fall deeper in love. Sunkissed faces and those freckles he used to get when the summer was particularly warm.

Oh God you just wanted to lean in and kiss him and now he was feeling exactly the same. Your minds fought against the embrace.

He dropped your arm as if it was white-hot. Scolding him. As if he couldn’t bear it.

It hurt you both. Stung. His action. You were both in your own heads though. Your minds in turmoil, a tsunami of your own making.

You hated that it was the other. You hated that your hearts had started to hope. You hated that a part of you would easily trade in everything to be back in your dreams. Or to really be back there. Together.

How could it be him? How could that beautiful man, with that beautiful heart, be him. The killer of slayers. The evil, big bad that tried to kill the only people that had been kind to you since you moved here.  

How could it be her? How could that once confident, glowing woman be you. The miserable, brooding souled vampire. The one that shone with arrogant self-righteousness. Tried to be good.

Without a word you just walked away from each other. No fight. No subtle jabs at the others opposing nature.

Words failed you now, but your minds spun. Such discordant unending lines of jarring poetry. Cut and spliced together. Love and hate and hope and dread.

It was all-consuming.

Because neither of you were so sure that you were these opposites. Not anymore.

The next day you were sat in the Sunnydale school library. It was a lot different from the education you remember. For the better, you decided.

You were supposed to be lending your expertise, what with the age and knowledge of the demon you were facing this week. But you weren’t really contributing.

You could get quiet sometimes and Angel had warned them not to press you too much about it, understanding why. But you weren’t usually like this. You didn’t brood like Angel did, but you were very obviously troubled by your past.

The group had taken you in, they were fond of you. You had lived through most of their troubles already so you gave them advice when you could. Even with Giles, you offered assistance that he took gratefully. You were the one vampire with a soul he could actually rely on after what happened with Angelus last year.

You were staring at a book as if it were written in gibberish. You were like a statue, you weren’t breathing or blinking.

“What’s up with spooky the soul-haver?” Xander whispered, as if you couldn’t hear it. The boy thought you would have a romance like Buffy and Angel’s. You told him otherwise. He was working on accepting it. Still.

“She’s been having dreams” Willow shrugged, it was all she could get out of you. Buffy looked up, slightly worried. She knew Angel had struggled with visions and bad dreams.

“Spooky can totally hear the human gremlins when they speak words” You muttered and Xander went red, and the others’ eyes scattered away from you which made you half-smile. You began to explain a quick excuse but you were quickly cut off.

“Don’t wig, it’s so far beyond nothing-”

“Slayer!” A familiar voice shouted, “Slayer, come out and face me!”

He had become tired of hiding in the shadows. Since Dru left. He wanted to beat the Slayer. Do something to take his mind off you. He slammed his hand on the walls as he stalked along looking for her.

Everyone shared a look and Buffy took the nearest weapon to her, a sword, and sped off through the corridors to find him before he ran into a teacher who had stayed behind to catch up on their lesson plans.

Both fought, hard. Trading blows with Buffy nicking his skin with the sword. You uncharacteristically stayed to the side.

It was equally matched until Buffy held his shoulder, he had cast an eye towards you. She took the chance and slid the hilt deep into his torso. He groaned in pain. You felt it as if she had struck you herself. You clutched your own body, where the wound was on his.

She didn’t stake him, as if he weren’t worth it. Merely warning him to give up. Buffy turned, satisfied and the others began walking away. Leaving him wounded, his knees buckled and he was on the floor.

All you could think was that he was hurt.

“William!” You shouted without thinking. It was him, no matter what had happened since. It was him.

Your mask had slipped. He saw those kind eyes. You used to look after him, the one that would try to fight any of the bullies of your youth. He had held you back more than once, fearing you would get a reputation. For being improper. And he, for being laughable. Emasculated.

“Didn’t think you cared, sweet” He said, his tone still hard. So different from the lyrical assurances he would whisper in your ear. But the moniker gave him away. Sweet.

He had always called you that. His sweet.

“I-I don’t…” You lied. This was the first time you understood properly that those feelings hadn’t been lost in your youth. They had been hidden. Repressed. Because it was so painful. There had always been something missing, only now you realised.

Losing his favour had been more painful than your own death.

William was waiting at the chapel, the entire day was thick with humidity. The skies grey and threatening to spill.

You had chosen an intimate service. Something that was yours. Just you and those that would witness the union. You would leave your hometown and make a life together. Away from the hard eyes and cruel tongues.

“Oh, I am the very spirit of vexation! Where is my wife to be?” William paced, the sun was starting to set. Darkness settling in.

“She will be timely, do not fret” the vicar spoke with assurance but he was concerned.

Time spun. It slowed and started to stop, dying as his hope did. You never came. He waited into the evening but you never arrived.

He wept, his heart broken and leaking. Salt water rubbing into the wound. Unimaginable pain. He ran. Sobs echoing around the empty chapel.

[chubbyreaderchan]

Technically No | Jacob Black x witch!Reader | Twilight/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossover| 1

jacob is over 18+ in this as well as reader! It's also a slight modern au because technology makes life easier man. And no I don't know what timeline this is. It's after Jacob phases and before Buffy dies again. So you might see Glory in this. Also it’s under a cut because this introduction/beginning is super long.

"Did you make it okay?" Buffy asked over the phone.

"Yes, Buff. I'm in my new house. I am going to my new job Monday" (Y/n) said with a soft sigh as she leaned against her new counter, having just moved from one small town to the other.

Sunnydale to Forks.

"Good. I'm glad you are safe." (Y/n) smiled a small yet sort of sad smile at the prospect of leaving the scoobs but there was a job offer in Forks that was just to good for her to not take and she was damn lucky to find a house for rent. She wondered if it was haunted. Not that was a big deal for someone who went to high school on top of a literal hellmouth.

"How's Dawny?" (Y/n) also knew that Dawn's first day back to high school was coming up as well as Buffy's first day of college for the year. "And did you get your course schedule yet?" She stated sitting in the empty living room floor eating her favorite fast food meal. Her moving truck wouldn't be there with her stuff for at least another day or two.

It wasn't exactly a house full of stuff yet, of course. She had just gone from living with her parents to on her own within a flash it seemed. It was as if the universe was pulling and placing her right in the middle of now where Washington.

"Yeah but I didn't get some of the courses I wanted. Have to try next semester." She sighed over the phone. Was it normal to talk to someone you had just left the day before as if you hadn't seen them in months? Maybe not but a lot was happening as the end of summer was coming to fruition. "Dawn is excited to go back to school"

"Interesting... She wasn't yesterday." Buffy sighed over the phone as her friend teased her. "Oh! So I'm going to try to get some essentials tomorrow!" She said suddenly remembering what she called Buffy about in the first place. "What color do you think I should decorate my kitchen in? Green? Red?" Buffy almost laughed again at one of her closest friends.

"You'll know when you actually go to the store. It's not like I can see the house." "Not yet! But you all are going to come visit me some day!" She laughed a bit. Her phone buzzed at her to charge. "Hey... Buffy. I gotta go. Phones is dying. Tell Willow and everyone I miss them."

"Will do." With that, the phone was hung up and placed on its charger.

(Y/n) sighed picking up her trash and began the work to make the floor as comfortable as possible until she could actually buy a decent bed.

--

The next morning, (Y/n) woke up at a fair hour for a Saturday and took a shower. It was nice to wash out some of the travel and sleep stink off before she slipped on her clothes for the day. Then she went to grab her phone as well as keys and her wallet. There was no way she could sleep on the floor for one more day and eating fast food everyday wasn't exactly a healthy option even if she did just arrive in town.

Sure she was still tired from the plane ride but she would stay tired. She need to find at least an air mattress. The car ride was short, it was nice. Familiar. It wasn't a huge change from one small town to another... Minus the demons and vampires. She hoped. It was simple enough to find the small plaza that had a few small shops and even a diner within walking distance of each other.

It was not even remotely difficult to find the things she oh so desperately needed. It was wonderful. (Y/n) was even able to add to her growing collection of magical artifacts when she stumbled into an antique shop. She thanked the gods that her family had loaned her a bit of cash to help her get by until she was fully working again.

Her day was going great... That was until she was hit with pangs of hunger. 'Did I even eat breakfast?' she asked herself before glancing at the time and gasping. She had been out a lot longer than she had realized.

Didn't she see a diner? She walked to her rental car and started a vague drive. Ah-ha! There was a diner.

She pulled in and was seated quite quickly. It wasn't long before her meal was ordered and her attention was drawn to her phone as she waited. There was a text message from Anya complaining about an argument she and Xander were having. (Y/n) laughed softly before responding with her opinion.

While she was distracted she didn't notice the small group enter. Especially a young man who had a slight staring problem. His eyes were locked on (Y/n) as she fiddled around with her phone. The young man was known by most as Jacob Black. A good kid who was madly in love with Bella Swan, his childhood friend.

"Jake... You okay?" Bella another member of the small group asked with concern on her face. An older man in a wheelchair who was previously chatting with the other older man in the group looked at the one named Jacob. A small knowing smile flashed over his features as he looked at his son.

'It's about damn time' Billy the man in the wheelchair thought. "Jake!" Bella's voice called him again, finally snapping the dark haired young man from his thoughts.

(Y/n) who was finally served food sat her phone down finally not even noticing the set of eyes on the back of her head.

"Is she-?" Bella whispered to Jacob just low enough for her father to not hear. "I... Think so... I think..."

"Son..." It was Billy who joined the conversation. "If you don't go talk to her... I will." Jacob's eyes went wide. How embarrassing would that be? His dad talking to his imprint before he could.

Jacob looked at the girl happily eating her dinner and playing around with her technology. Then she giggled. Oh God.

How could it be that just the day before he was trying to convince Bella not to turn into a vampire? That he was so madly and so deeply in love with the vampire girl that he defied Sam his pack leader for turn into dust and be replaced instantly by a young woman he hadn't even spoken to?

Jacob was so distracted by his thoughts he barely caught his father moving to go introduce himself. "No, wait. Dad. I'll go." He quickly stood up and wandered over to the table nervously. What was he going to say? What if she didn't like him? What if he said something dumb?

"Hey I'm Jacob." He said awkwardly, causing her to jump from what she was doing. Her face scrunched up in confusion before she finally looked up. Their eyes locked and it felt like everything stopped. Her heart beat hard against her ribcage at the very tall and dark haired man before her. "You looked lonely. Uhm. I know we just got here. But..." What was he doing? Inviting her to sit with his dad and his dad's best friend for dinner? That's weird isn't it? Especially since he was going to have dinner with a girl he was in love with.

"I'd love to join you." Why did she just agree to crash someone else's dinner? It looked like a family affair of sorts. "I'm (Y/n)!" She suddenly remembered her name. It felt like her face was on fire. He shifted from slightly nervous to having a large smile on his face. How sweet.

He even helped by carrying her stuff to the table. "This is my dad Billy. His friend Charlie and his daughter Bella." Jacob introduced allowing her to sit down. Something in the back of her mind told her that this was weird.

Something was off.

It felt... Magical. She knew magical.

But then Charlie began to talk about how he was a sheriff and the weirdness seemed to disappear. "So...where are you from?" Charlie asked trying to judge if this new girl was going to cause him trouble later. "Oh. Sunnydale," she paused. "California. Also graduated from Sunnydale high." She explained with a small smile.

Maybe it wasn't so bad joining their little dinner. It was nice having people to talk to, especially when one was so new. "What do you like to do Jake?" She said looking over at him before taking a bite of food.

"Oh, uh. I buy and flip cars right now. It's more of a side hustle really." He smiled at her. "Really?" She said with a smile on her lips. "Because the car I'm in is just a rental... If you find anything good will you think of me? I can't pay the rate they are wanting forever." She joked, gently and playfully touching his arm.

It was like fire. Both literally and figuratively. If it weren't for the people she could almost throw herself at him. But then his skin was so hot that it almost burned. "Absolutely." Jacob smiled. "What's your phone number?" He looked almost like a puppy who was just given a treat. She took his phone and put her number in and he sent her a text. A wolf emoji.

Her eyes looked him over again. Then the phone in her hand began ringing. She answered it quickly, it was the moving company.

Jacob watched as she excused herself to talk to whoever. Her once happy self was instantly deflated. Jacob did not like that at all. He felt it. He actually felt the sadness in her. Is this what it was like to have an imprint? Actually feeling their pain? She walked back in and sighed. 

“Are you okay?” Jacob asked with what (Y/n) could only describe as genuine concern. 

“My moving truck is going to be late. On Monday while I’m at work instead of on Sunday.” She shouldn’t be so easy to talk to someone she had only known for 20 minutes. Jacob didn’t like the look on her face one of distress. 

Jacob looked her over again, hardly getting tired of looking at her face. “I have some friends on the Res. Maybe we can meet them. Help you out..” Jacob offered without a second thought. 

“Really?” she looked at him unsure at first. 

Jacob nodded, a bright smile on his face. 

“O-okay” She agreed. 

a/n: Stopping this one here and writing part 2 next. If I didn’t this would be 3000 words. Don’t worry I’m literally going from posting this part to writing the next bit because I already know what I’m going to do. Then I’m going to write a Paul version of this. 

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 4x01 The Freshman

aka high school is hell but college is purgatory

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today I’m finally starting season 4, and you know what, I’m excited! And overwhelmed! I am both Buffy and Willow!

I think when it comes to ranking Buffy seasons, for many people s4 tends to be pretty low on their lists. I for one definitely had a bone to pick with it as well as season 6 on my first run through back in the days.

But... I came to appreciate both by now for some of the same reasons I disliked them. Which is the show’s ability to go with the flow, and adapt its core themes as the characters continue to grow and age.

Buffy was originally a high school horror show. Which in itself went through many changes and development over the course of the first three seasons, but that main setting and the core concept of high school being hell remained. The demons and problems the characters were facing were centered around things like their anxieties about the future, growing up, and how their relationships shaped who they’d become.

But these were always dynamic characters and stories... so of course at some point we had to leave high school behind. And that meant uprooting almost everything familiar about the show up until this point.

Hell, we even blew up the damn high school in 3x22 to signify that abrupt and drastic turn the show was about to take.

Of course, in many ways, it’s not actually all that extreme and new. This is still the same show with the same characters, and Buffy is still doing vampire murder acrobatics in her spare time. But the change of scenery brings the necessity of adjustment on so many different aspects of the show, down to its themes, and I came to love that about season 4.

Sure, I’ll miss the Scoobies hanging around together in high school all the time, but relationships change for most of us at that age. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with, whether it’s their studies, job, new friends, significant others, etc. It’s a whole new world of possibilities as well as anxieties.

So I could definitely relate to both Buffy and Willow’s frershman experience. The idea of a fresh start and what appears to be endless opportunities is intoxicating... but it’s also disorienting with a healthy dose of disillusionment. College is weird you guys.

This is also going to be the only season where college will be the main backdrop of the show, even though Buffy will only drop out in s6, I think? I don’t know, I’m fuzzy on the details, so I guess we’ll see.

Let’s do a lightning round of some random things from this episode:

- I really love what we see of Xander and Buffy’s relationship in this episode. As Xander didn’t go to college, he’ll be feeling isolated from the group even more so as a result... but here, he managed to turn up at just the right moment to interrupt Buffy’s own isolation. I love that and I love that scene. “You’re my hero” - my heart just grows each and every time a bit.

(Although I’m not sure how I feel about the whole part where Xander implies that he’s masturbating to images of Buffy??? Just... why. Why is Joss Whedon like that.)

- Pedro Pascal is in this! I barely recognized him but it’s he! The scene between him and Buffy with them trying to find their way on campus is also super nice and cute and real. Sure, he gets eaten immediately after that, but it’s still a nice moment.

- Riley not remembering Buffy’s name after their first encounter and identifying her as “Willow’s friend” is kinda funny? Also another implication of the difference between how quickly Buffy and Willow are fitting into their new environment.

- Sunday is a fun villain. Like, she’s an asshole, but she’s also a vampire so that makes sense. I kinda love that she’s picking on Buffy because she’s a freshman and they’re preying on those, and less interested in the whole Slayer deal. It adds to the theme of Buffy feeling small and unlike herself for most of the episode.

- The asshole prof is honestly not far off from reality. That’s why you gotta ask around before signing up for a course, kids.

- Dad!Giles is out, Cool Unemployed Giles all your friends have a crush on is in. Oh, and this is Olivia’s first appearance! Too bad we’re never gonna actually develop her character, but oh well.

- Willow’s panic about how they missed the ‘circumstances’ that might’ve led to Buffy dropping out and taking off when they find the fake note is kinda cute? It’s a nice reminder that as much as they are and will be all sorts of wrapped up in their own lives, they still want to be there for each other. It’s just getting harder and more complicated each day.

Anywho, I’m excited! I’m still gonna agree with 19-year-old me that s4 has probably the least interesting season arc (especially when it comes to the big bad), but I can’t wait to rediscover everything else that’s going on here.

Not to mention the fact that we’ll be getting some of the best episodes of the show this season. (Like Beer Bad... Well, okay, I’m kidding, but also watch me defend that episode’s right to be just an overall dumb ride!!!)

I got this!

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 12/2/20

SEAN: It’s the last month of the year… what are we seeing, manga and light novel-wise?

Bookwalker has the 13th volume of The Ryuo’s Work Is Never Done!.

Dark Horse debuts Mob Psycho 100: Reigen, a one-volume spinoff of the original that ran in Ura Sunday.

ASH: I’m curious about this one.

SEAN: In print, J-Novel Club has two debuts: an omnibus version of the Infinite Dendrogram manga, and an omnibus of the Otherside Picnic light novels! Both contain the first two volumes. There’s also I Shall Survive Using Potions! 3 and In Another World with My Smartphone 13.

Digitally, J-Novel Club gives us Banner of the Stars 4, How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord 13, and Invaders of the Rokujouma!? 34.

They’ve also got manga digitally, including the manga debut of Bibliophile Princess, featuring one of my favorite fluffball heroines. There’s also the debut of Record of Wortenia War’s manga, and A Very Fairy Apartment 5.

Kodansha’s print debut is Mashima HERO’S, a crossover between three of the author’s biggest series: Rave Master, Fairy Tail and Eden’s Zero.

ASH: Somehow missed hearing about this one until now.

SEAN: Also in print: the 41st and final volume of The Seven Deadly Sins.

ASH: That was quite a run.

SEAN: There are two digital debuts. One is a Shaman King spinoff, The Super Star. It takes place after Flowers, and is still ongoing in Shonen Magazine Edge.

The other debut is The Invincible Reincarnated Ponkotsu (Ponkotsu ga Tensei Shitara Zongai Saikyou), a reincarnation isekai whose summary is so stupid I may actually give it a try. It runs in Suiyoubi no Sirius, and is probably glorious trash.

ASH: I have been convinced to read things for similar reasons in the past.

SEAN: Also out digitally: Altair: A Record of Battles 23, Cells at Work: Bacteria! 6, Chihayafuru 23, Ex-Enthusiasts: MotoKare Mania 5, Otherworldly Munchkin: Let’s Speedrun the Dungeon with Only 1 HP! 2, and Smile Down the Runway 16.

ANNA: I’m so far behind with Chihayafuru but I continue to be glad it is being released.

MICHELLE: I share your gratitude. Also, Ex-Enthusiasts: MotoKare Mania is a fun josei series that I’ve enjoyed so far.

SEAN: Seven Seas has two debuts. The Kingdoms of Ruin (Hametsu no Oukoku) runs in Mag Garden’s Comic Blade, but honestly it sort of lost me when I saw the words “revenge fantasy”.

The other debut, and done in one, is How Many Light-Years to Babylon? (Babylon Made wa Nan-kounen?), a comedy sci-fi story from the creator of The Voynich Hotel. This one I’m far more optimistic about, especially as it won the Seiun Award, the Japanese equivalent of the Hugo.

ASH: Oh! This sounds like one I should definitely check out.

SEAN: There’s also a 10th Akashic Records of Bastard Magical Instructor, A Certain Scientific Accelerator 11, the 11th Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average?! (digitally), and Skeleton Knight in Another World’s 5th volume (manga) and 7th volume (light novel).

Vertical has the 6th Bakemonogatari manga, with a lovely snek on the cover.

No debuts from Viz, but some quality titles. We see Chainsaw Man 2, Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba 19, Dragon Ball Super 11, Jujutsu Kaisen 7, One Piece 95, Queen’s Quality 10, Skip Beat! 3-in-1 14, Spy x Family 3, Twin Star Exorcists 20, Vampire Knight: Memories 5, We Never Learn 13, and Yona of the Dawn 27.

ANNA: Always happy for more Yona of the Dawn, Spy x Family, and Queen’s Quality.

MICHELLE: Indeed, several favorites for me among that lot. I’m especially keen to read the next volume of Yona, as the last ended on quite a pivotal moment.

ASH: Those three series are at the top of my list, too. I also plan on reading more Chainsaw Man.

MELINDA: I’m behind, but I have been a fan of Queen’s Quality, so I really should pick that up!

SEAN: Yen On debuts Reign of the Seven Spellblades (Nanatsu no Maken ga Shihai Suru), which is yet another magical academy series but also comes highly recommended.

Also from Yen On: Bottom-Tier Character Tomozaki 5, Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? 15, and My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected 10. The last of which has been delayed several times. As I expected.

Two debuts for Yen, though one is not really: Kingdom Hearts III, the manga has its first volume.

The other is Eniale & Dewiela. If you ever wondered what the creator of Witch Hat Atelier would do if she was told to make something akin to Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, then this is the title for you. It’s 3 volumes total, and ran in Enterbrain’s Fellows! and Harta, two magazines which always earn an automatic purchase from me.

ASH: I’ll definitely be on the lookout for a copy of this!

MELINDA: Interesting!

SEAN: And there is IM: Great Priest Imhotep 6, Kakegurui Twin 8, Murcielago 16, Phantom Tales of the Night 6, and Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Different Story: The Complete Omnibus Edition.

ASH: I’m a couple volumes behind on Phantom Tales of the Night, but I have been enjoying it.

SEAN: Anything here catch your eye?

By: Sean Gaffney

[annashipper]

PTSkeptonanny Submission

Bom dia Anna,

Not happy with my previous Eurus/Eros stupidity and after rewatching TLD I am submitting you more stupid ideas, theories and opinions because I really can’t help myself. I should also apologise for the lenght of this “sherlock meta”, but who am I kidding here? It’s Sherlock. I regret nothing.

As per our previous discussions there are some paralells between TAB and TST- TLD:

1-The bride Emilia Ricolletti/Mary Watson parallell. If we read TAB the drug-induced trip/dream to Sherlock’s mind palace as a representation of his unconscious (and a kind of a map of Sherlock’s future psychological evolution towards a more balanced relationship between his ego and the unconscious) the character of “Emilia Ricoletti/Abominable bride” might be a personification of Sherlock’s fear (not of women) but of the characteristics usually atributed to the opposite sex. Symbolically the abominable bride had to die and sacrifice herself so that the other women/feminine forces within Sherlock’s unconscious/psyche could appear and symbolically the masculine ego could assimilate such qualities usually considered "feminine”: subtlety, intuition, empathy and most of all the ability to express his own feelings and emotions.

In TST Mary mirrors the bride Emilia in TAB. Like the bride she knows she is a dead woman walking, so she sacrifices herself for Sherlock. And with her death/self sacrifice Sherlock is forced to reevaluate the value of his own life and to change his perception of himself and the way he thought others saw him (not worthy of love).

2- The deerstalker hat symbolism The deerstalker hat is a symbol of Sherlock’s public persona, a mask or façade that Sherlock has to wear in order to satisfy the demands of certain situations where he has to meet the social expectations of other people. This persona does not truly represent his inner self and his personality and of course Sherlock HATES the hat as he hates any social imposed roles and social norms. Mainly because he does not believe he can meet John’s idealised image of himself created for the Public in his blog. In TAB John orders Sherlock to: “Wear the damn hat. You’re Sherlock Holmes.” And Sherlock relunctantly does.

In the end of TLD Sherlock will decide himself to wear the hat saying that he is after all Sherlock Holmes. He does it as a tribute to Mary and Mary’s sacrifice. But by doing it he is also ackowledging that he has to embrace his own public persona (the image of the heroic genius created by John) and he is accepting that he has the potential to be that man that John and everybody else think he is.

Mary’s death/self-sacrifice forced both Sherlock and John to reevaluate who they are, but also forced us viewers to reevaluate the pre-conceived ideas we had about the 2 of them: Of course we already knew that Sherlock was far from being the sociopath and the cool, detached thinking machine he pretends to be. He represses his emotions and he controls his passions and his desires with an iron fist but we- like Mrs. Hudson - had already perceived that he is more of an emotional than a rational man (the snowcapped mountain who is indeed a volcano). But most importantly what came as a surprise for many people (myself included) was learning that John Watson was far from being always the honourable, faithful, reliable morally superior character we and Sherlock thought he was. John fights with his inner demons as much as Sherlock and he also struggles with great difficulty to be the man Sherlock (and Mary) wanted him to be!

TLD is boasting with the rock-solid, heart-breaking performances of Ben and Martin (and Amanda) and the reason for its final scene to be the most cathartic scene ever seen in Sherlock is based upon its simplicity, and the feeling of pain we get when receive the experience of John’s exposed misery and vulnerability and Sherlock’s heartfelt and sincere empathic reaction offering him the physical affection of a heartfelt hug. 

Once again Moftiss beautifully played on the strings of our hearts with this beautiful bitter-sweet moment! It is such a priviledge to see the way these characters are growing and how they faced the emotional ramifications of that event!

3- Shakespeare’s Henry V “war” symbolism In TAB Sherlock’s “The game is afoot” quote is of course a direct quote from Shakespeare’s Henry V, Act III, Scene I.

This is the same speech that Sherlock under a drug frenzy quotes maniacally in TLD, while holding a gun in his hand: “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead. In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man As modest stillness and humility: But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger; Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage; Then lend the eye a terrible aspect; Let pry through the portage of the head Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it (…)

King Henry’s famous speech, one the most celebrated passages in the play is a speech fit for our Dragon slayer to quote in order to urge himself into a state of uncontrolled ferocity, when he is preparing to slay another dragon: Culverton Smith.

But how many battles/wars is Sherlock fighting? Because if we believe in Mycroft’s words in TAB Sherlock’s worst enemy is not Culverton Smith/Moriarty/CAM :

Mycroft: A week in a prison cell, I should have realised. Sherlock Holmes: Realised what? Mycroft Holmes: That, in your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy.

Mycroft is implying that Sherlock’s worst enemy is of course Sherlock himself. So perhaps the worst war he is fighting is not outside but is inside him, inside his own mind, in his own psyche, which his divided in complex centers of energy/ forces opposing one another, all of them attempting to prove their dominance over the others.

Who will win this war? According to TAB no one.

John Watson: But these enemies, how are we to defeat them if you won’t tell us about them? Mycroft: We don’t defeat them. We most certainly lose to them. (…) Sherlock Holmes: So you see, Watson, Mycroft was right! This is a war we must lose!

What war is that? What might be the biggest, most feroucious war Sherlock is fighting since day one with himself? The war between the two strongest opposing forces inside himself, the war between his heart and his mind. 

4- Amo= I love/ the "heart” promo picture and the “I love you” phrase.

As many fans already pointed out that the new promo picture wall cutout is a cardiac silhouette where Sherlock and John are standing in a heart! And of course we do not know yet what is the context for the “I love you” phrase, and at this point anything can happen. But we do know that love is the key word for series 4.

And we do know that Sherlock Holmes the alledgedly cold, ultra-rational, analytical, logical man who once claimed that he had no friends, that sentiment was a chemical defect, who considered love to be a dangerous disadvantage once again will go deeper and further inside himself and inside his own mind to search for answers, fighting demons and slaying dragons, and in the end he will find something which he claimed he does not have: his heart.

So, what does all this mean?

Are both TST and TLD only products of Sherlock’s imagination, which some how could explain the wrongness, the lack of continuity, and the loss of any real standards of realism?

Might Sherlock still be in his mind palace, lost in the depths of his unconscious, fighting the same battles over and over again? Creating the same cenarious where he fights a dark and malignant figure in his subconscious and he arranges things so that John Watson rushes in to save him in the very last minute? (Again, notice the parallel rescue scenarios between TAB and TLD)

In terms of jungian psychology is this all necessary in order for Sherlock to see beyond the projections that initially blind the conscious ego?

I have no ideia. But whatever answers Moftiss have for us on sunday it is going to be EPIC.

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And now I want to watch TST and TLD again under this light...