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#(like I'm glad others find comfort in it but it generally doesn't appeal to me!)
kirby-the-gorb · 1 year
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astrabear · 2 years
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Hey! Thanks for letting come to your asks to get some fic recs! I’m looking for some Nicky whump. Any rating. My hard nos would be anything truly vor related, no eye gore, no death, no dismemberment. I like hurt/no comfort and hurt/comfort. If Joe is involved as caretaker or other whumpee that’d be extra points. Any of the Old Guard can be involved really. :) thanks!
I'm so glad you came by! I love giving fic recs, and it's a good thing you clarified because a couple of the ones I was planning on recommending have some gnarly eye stuff and/or dismemberment. When you say "no death," do you mean no permanent major character death? Because it might be difficult to find something that doesn't include temporary death, in this fandom. Immortality/magic healing means the whump writers don't hold anything back.
If my interpretation (no permanent MCD) is correct, then you might like the links behind the cut. If I'm not correct, let me know, and I'll do some more research.
This one has Nicky getting captured by a Merrick competitor after the events of the movie, so there's medical torture and lots of angst.
This one is an old fandom classic of Nicky whump. There is a brief episode of eye trauma, but it's so small relative to the fic as a whole I thought I'd still recommend it. I can give you details about what and when to skip.
This is another "Nicky is kidnapped and tortured/experimented on" (it's a very popular story, I'm not including anything close to all of them.) It's more about the effects than about the events themselves, so it's a bit more on the emotional end of the hurt/comfort spectrum.
You didn't say anything about sexual violence/noncon. I have mostly avoided it, but this series is something I go back to over and over again because its treatment of healing and recovery is so good.
This one maybe doesn't count so much as whump, but I'm using it as an excuse to sneak in my favorite fic writer.
Tell me how these worked out for you, and I'll be able to recommend some additional ones. A few additional notes:
I don't generally read omegaverse, so that won't show up in my recs. There's a lot of it in this fandom with whump and h/c if you want to search for it.
I don't know how to say this without sounding totally obnoxious, but... Some folks read for tropes and don't pay much attention to the technical craft of writing. Which is fine! But I am not one of them. There's a lot of fic out there that focuses on whump for its own sake, but which I don't particularly enjoy reading (despite being fond of the trope in general.) The fics in this list are all fics that have prose, pacing, characterization, emotional arcs, etc that I find appealing. If your priorities are different, I can help you navigate the tags to find fics that are more to your taste.
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Catching up again and I saw something from yesterday I wanted to contribute to, so sorry it's a little late lol
Re: why people might be attracted to you/want to date you,
I'm gray-asexual, so when I talk about attraction in general it's with a grain of salt, but for the purposes of data I'd say for me it's mostly that
-You describe your physical appearance (long, black, good-smelling hair; dark eyes; meaty thighs, etc) in a way that appeals to my personal tastes, and
-You talk very openly about yourself such that you answer a lot of the kinds of questions I might wonder about someone but not ask until I got to know them, thereby bypassing the "getting to know someone" barrier to potential attraction that otherwise generally dead-ends most instances of potential attraction when it comes to strangers.
In terms of actually wanting to date you, however, there are a couple of reasons I stop short of that, chiefly of which is a big part of why I hesitate to interact outside of anon asks,
and that's that despite finding several things about you unrealistically relatable, from what I can tell we just don't share enough interests.
And from what I've gathered, most of your close friendships and eventually your relationships with the people who would become your husband/Master and girlfriend were formed in online communities where you bonded over shared interests (please correct me if that's factually inaccurate in any way; I'm less certain about how you met your girlfriend), which means it's likely I don't meet the parameters you're looking for in a partner; not feeling like the right kind of person for someone is a pretty big disincentive for me wanting a relationship in general.
So as it stands I'm content to interact at a comfortable distance, and occasionally cast heart eyes in your general direction when you say something appealing, but not to the level that I'd consider it parasocial etc. Literally "I just think [you're] neat", and I'm glad to know someone like you exists and you're living your best life.
Related side-note: In terms of the openness as it pertains to casually talking about sex, that (unsurprisingly) doesn't do it for me (I'm much more attracted when you describe yourself as a 'reanimated doll' or talk about your devotion to your Master); but it doesn't hurt anything either, as I'm not sex-repulsed personally, and it's not like you're the kind of person who would take issue with someone for not wanting sex, etc.
Sorry this got so long again and that it's out of context now etc.
Shared interests definitely help a lot since they provide conversation topics and the like, though it might surprise you to learn that I don't share as many with my partners as it might seem.
For example, I met master through a Touhou community but he's actually not that interested in most types of RPGs (my favorite genre by far), preferring platforming games and other stuff like that.
He also tends to watch cute and low-stakes slice of life while I'm into the dark and violent shows instead. We do watch stuff that would fit the other person's favored genre together but we still have those preferences.
I actually have more shared interests with my girlfriend, who I played TTRPGs with for a long time before we started dating. We seem to like the same kinds of shows as well.
However, I'm still the one who is generally introducing her to games I like (like a good older sister). She wasn't already into those, but she was willing to give the things I love a try and even stream her progress for me. I think that was really nice even if she didn't always get into them as hard as I do.
I don't really expect most people I tempt and try to corrupt with my own interests to really get into them very much though. I know most of the things I like are kind of removed from mainstream appeal and even when hanging out with other weird people and facilitating their introduction to my interests as much as possible a lot of the time they just don't bite very hard.
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cupidlakes · 3 years
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I'm getting kinda worried that George might be feeling like every stream he does needs to be better than the last stream (for the main channel ofc) and the reason why he hasn't been streaming if because he has no idea what to stream? I mean, it's been so long since we've gotten a solo stream from him.
It's like how people comment on Karl always needing someone else on his stream for him to be able to stream and I just wonder if George is starting to go towards that path as well. I really hope that George knows that we would watch him play anything at this point really and he's just as entertaining by himself as he is with others. This is me desperate for a solo stream tbh, I like Dream Team, Sex Havers n Feral Boys dynamics but I feel like when he's on his own, he becomes a bit more open about himself?
Also, yeah I agree with you with the whole editing stuff as well but I also kinda understand George with the whole executive dysfunction. Streaming and editing are both kinda his jobs, it's hard to get another job going when you're stuck with this job that is very overwhelming for you to do that causes you to procrastinate on it and also hinders you from doing anything else as well because you need to finish that one first. Reminds me of when George said how his life qualify does down when he's in his editing arc, gosh so relatable.
I just hope he doesn't push himself too hard. I just want him to feel comfortable streaming whatever and whenever he wants, not everything has to be planned. Yeah, this is me in my missing George arc.
this ask is quite long (although i appreciate it) so my answer is it going to be under the cut!!
i mean yeah basically this, i don’t want to sound repetitive because i think i’ve said this a lot but i do also feel like george is falling into the trap of feeling like he has to put out big! and planned! streams on the gnf twitch channel when before it used to be for whatever (looks like it’s reflecting in his main channel on yt too, like how “go big or go home” the challenges have been feeling recently)
like i guess that’s what his alt is for and i understand the need to have a distinction between “high-effort” content and more lowkey stuff but even that seems like it’s become another burden for george when it comes to: finding stuff to do/play and feeling like he “has to” keep up on donations and gifted subs etc etc. it just makes me think about how at the end of the day some of the most beloved streams among the fandom have been the more lowkey ones or the ones which devolved into chaos naturally and although his planned streams are well-received view-wise and stuff (and his effort is always appreciated, words can’t explain how much i love the cooking stream for example) it isn’t worth seeing our cc missing in action for so long <\3 ppl have pointed out streamers like tubbo, ranboo and tommy have struck a good balance when it comes to delivering a steady stream of both high + “low” effort content both equally enjoyed by their viewers
when people say they’d watch george do anything they /mean it/ not in the “oh he can be lazy and put out any old rubbish and we’d eat it up” but in the fact that seeing him enjoy himself alone or with friends is more than enough, we’re drawn to his personality and whatever he puts out is going to be appealing most of the time! some people even resonate more with chilled out content that’s not so “high-effort” we are here for george not the games he plays or his concepted ideas, it’s him doing whatever, his reactions, his persona, him
i feel like george sometimes “falling” on needing other presences in his streams has more to do with the fact that he’s clearly the most comfortable/energetic among friends and bouncing off them is easier, he’s expressed before that he can’t talk for very long himself unprompted so having other people there must be comfortable but yes, solo streams are very treasured in that he seems more willing to open up when he’s alone and tell rambled stories and it’s just… nice i wish he’d see the appeal in occasional solo streams like when he used to speedrun! because he is actually good at carrying them and creating a good vibe, there’s a reason why so many ppl seem to be asking for one right now
and the editing stuff just makes me sad he should know that he doesn’t have to live like this i know he stubbornly wants to be the one to edit his videos (or dream because he trusts he’ll do them justice) but he should realise that there are ways he can better his quality of life in this aspect even looking into finding ppl willing to edit in a similar fashion and offering the resources to (hence my idea of accepting ppls work and looking through for contenders) or finding more effective ways to edit instead of dedicating all his time to one vid and clearly stressing out about it especially because technically he also works on his own terms? there’s nothing wrong with having set deadlines for yourself and feeling like an upload is due and i’m glad he’s not lazy in that aspect god bless or delivering content generally
but being purely unable to concentrate on anything else because you’re focussed on a single video for two weeks sounds awful
hey these are just my messy thoughts though at the end of the day i also take into account he could be busy with general life stuff i’m just making a commentary on him explaining why he disappears and why it’s so hard for him to edit in that time, hope he’s ok <3 and i hope the vid is a banger though i trust it will be, my cc is a perfectionist!
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catsandnotes · 2 years
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I don't know where to start.
My undergraduate degree is an extremely generic Humanities discipline. Following upper year Humanities students' idea of simply applying to Law School out of "I don't know what to do after graduation", I decided "why not?". My mother, who wanted to apply to law school after her undergraduate studies but my grandmother prevented her from doing so due to "being abroad for way too long", also thought law would be a solid career path and since I was reading and analyzing texts in the Humanities anyway, isn't law school just the same, but used it a more practical sense for the job market.
I applied to several law schools, with the intention of doing a double masters in law (a Juris Doctor) plus another discipline. These were specially made combined programs to allow students a shorter amount of time to complete 2 Master degrees. But honestly, I only preferred the other Master degree, I had this dreading feeling lugging at me, telling me law was not the right path for me.
I think I knew so well in myself about that decision. I told people since young that I never wanted to be a lawyer or a judge (even though TV and movies made them seem exciting and fulfilling). I knew just as well, that Law School was not meant for me as I typed into Google searches that I was doubting my decision to apply, advice from people that attended Law school and changed careers or just hated it. I was trying to find ways to hate it, but I was too afraid to tell my own overachieving mother that I did not want to apply.
Actually, I did tell her, only she didn't believe me because I couldn't give a good answer. I don't know why I didn't want to go, all I knew was that my heart was telling me "no!". I mentioned that the job market wasn't well for lawyers, and she bounced back that I didn't want to be a lawyer anyway, so that excuse doesn't apply to me, adding on the fact that a JD will open me to many opportunities, even allowing me to write contracts and policies at the comfort of my own home. Truthfully, that did not appeal to me at all. It sounded like such a boring job. I wanted a job that allowed me to travel, not 9-5 based, or at least interact with people of various professions, ideas, team work. I wanted to do something hands-on, not use my brain power all the time while sitting in a stuffy office alone.
My GPA isn't all that great, it's average, but not outstanding enough to be competitive for something like Law School. My LSATs did improve each time, but only by a little bit, and all those marks were hardly competitive. My personal statement wasn't any better, I didn't have the same passion, love, or drive that I saw in other applicants. I just knew it wasn't for me.
I was hoping, all this time, that I would receive a rejection letter. That's right, I applied to a program, paid too much money for application fees, bothered professors and teachers for references, all hoping that I'd receive a rejection letter. Today, March 15, 2022 at 4:49pm, I finally received a letter from one of the law schools I applied to, with a rejection letter. The relief I felt when I saw that. The weight lifted off my shoulder. I felt so great that I did not have to contemplate whether or not I wanted to pursue a double masters, or give up my preferred master program for one I preferred less. My mother can't do anything either as I can't choose when I got rejected.
That is to say, I'm glad I get to solely focus on my preferred Master program instead. Law is difficult, and I do not think I am a good fit, much less the passion for social change that I see is common in North American law students. I was admitted into my preferred program early on, and I'm so glad I got into that program.
I'm just relieved that I don't have to study something mundane to me again, like my 4-year undergraduate degree. It's exhausting, and I need a change to do something different academically, and for my career.
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moderngirlmp3 · 3 years
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i change my pfp so many times on discord, but not that much on tumblr, weirdly. i get Bored of Myself easily shdfglkjsd
IN THE LEAST MEAN WAY POSSIBLE, YES. I DO HOPE TO BREAK MANY HEARTS >:D i shall break your heart like a mirror during an angsty movie scene, as soon as i figure out how to Write. (bleh)
hfsdklfjklsdjf i'm so glad that it isn't just me.
!!!! i think you were the one who told me about cm in the first place, and some of my irls really like b99 so. :DD
fhsdjklzfsldf well now i'm gonna watch criminal minds even hARDER. it's alright, i'm sure it's worth it !!! and yeah!!! different shows are definitely better for different episode lengths.
OH MY GOD HDSJLF. i love that. Emotional Support Jules™ <333 you're p o r t a b l e. ohmygod. BATTERIES SOLD SEPARATELY. i love that job!!! i can definitely see you doing that /pos /gen.
wHAT. BESTIE. fiusoxchsdjk "we could be in the same forest and we could find mushrooms together!!" is the sweetest thing ever. ilysm /p, and i would absolutely get stranded in a forest to do that with you <3
oooh ok that's actually really smart /gen. because sometimes you just want to rant and tell someone, and then other times you're just waiting and nobody says anything and anyway- yeah i like that idea for a tone indicator!!
JKSLDJFLSJDF you're so valid. tbf i'm very hypocritical with my pet peeves. i'll go "my pet peeve is when people bounce their knees like. cmon, you can just-" *looks down* *realizes i've been bouncing my knee in a very annoying way* "well fu-". get it together body! trying to make a point here and the point is not that i'm annoying.
hmmm. i think i'd like to be an Official Moodboarder and Describer of Aesthetics. i can't write very well but !!! describing people's aesthetics and just aesthetics in general is. my favorite thing ever. i'll make people moodboards and i will Perceive the hell out of everyone i love (affectionate threat).
i'd like to say a mattress that's too soft? because at least it would be comfortable, especially for stuff like watching youtube/netflix in bed. although people do say that sleeping on the floor is good for your back, and a hard mattress would be like sleeping on the floor while also NOT sleeping on the floor. which,, actually doesn't sound appealing so. too soft it is! i think some country music is good, aka women being badass, and pointedly not men singing about their trucks and beer and women. i'm sure there is good country music, but i just don't really listen to the genre in general.
icebreakers are. ok ig sjdlkf. they're mainly used in Social Situations and that's very very awkward and can be painful, and not that effective, but with friends or something like that, sure!! no!! i would not sleep if i didn't have to, at least for the most part. a few years ago i was actually quite anti-sleep because i found it boring, which is probably a very childish take but i don't care >:(. (see, childish!) sleep is nice, but i'm convinced that if i didn't need to sleep, i could get the same feeling of relaxation and refreshment elsewhere.
would you sleep, if you didn't have to? what was your favorite toy as a little kid? what was the last joke you remember hearing? song lyric that's stuck in your head? opinion on origami? - 🌵
"i get Bored of Myself easily shdfglkjsd" god what a fucking mood. actually it's funny i change my tumblr pfp so often but never my discord one.
actually yes go off break all the hearts do ur thing yes !!
omg ur irls are so good then!! b99 is amazing!! and ahhh yeah cm is pretty heckin good :D
sdghsldjflsdkfj thank you im glad you believe in my abilities.
aaaah okay okay let's find a forest and some mushrooms and then we can simply vibe ™
NO OMG SAME IM SO HYPOCRITICAL TOO. i completely get what ur saying LMAO. like half the time someone is doing something that im annoyed at, i'm either doing it or will do it like 5 minutes later. "get it together body! trying to make a point here and the point is not that i'm annoying." HGSLDFSDHGSLDJFLS YEAH NO LITERALLY
dude oh my god yes be a professional moodboarder and aesthetics describer!!! that's actually such a good fit for you i could totally see it and oh my GOSH yes perceive EVERYONE. i love the "(affectionate threat)" thats so true lol.
yeah ok that's valid. lol one of my friends sleeps on the floor cause it's better for their back and honestly... i don't know what to think about it. like ok do ur thing but also ur an idiot and why would u pass up a comfy mattress. OMG SO TRUE. okay. yeah. literally. women being badass >>>> men singnig about whatever they sing about. unless it's reggie peters singing about how home is where his horse is. there is always that exception.
yeah that makes lots of sense. social situations are not fun lol. LMAO anti-sleep because you found it boring. i mean yeah ok that's "childish" but also it makes... so much sense. "but i don't care >:(" SDFLSDKFJLSDFJLSKDFJ. yeah! i'm sure you could get the same refreshment from some other source if you didn't need sleep!
i honestly don't know if i would sleep! like on the one hand there's so much to DO, but on the other hand i don't think i could handle being conscious for 24 hours a day, day after day lmao. i'm not sure.
my favorite toy was this dog that i got when i was super super young and still have! theyre falling apart a little bit but it's!! okay!!
the last joke i remember hearing... bestie i have a shit memory. uhm. yeah okay i do not. remember. im sorry lmao
omg a song lyric that's stuck in my head. "you know we're all calligraphy / you know we're all just suffering" from uh. some song i used to listen to i forget what it's called. oh it's young again by SXYE. good song.
i cannot do origami but it's so frickin cool!! anyone who can do it has all my respect and also please make me something thanks
god you have so many good questions and i have no brain cells okay. hm.
what's your favorite app on your phone? do you have a lot of games downloaded? what's a song lyric that's stuck in your head right now? what was your favorite toy as a kid? what's your favorite store to go to? do you like camping? what are you most looking forward to in the next week?
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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 5 years
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September Song (3/3)
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I'm sorry @kitten-wrath that this took so long, but I do hope you like it. @hoodoo12 @xerxezra thanks for brainstorming with me. By the way, @kitten-wrath there's a reference to one of your fics. I'm sure you'll know it immediately, but to those that don't the read her fic here (Link to referenced fic)
I'm really proud of this fic. It references many of my other fics since most of them being to my Fluffy Adventures With Your Boyfriend Doofus Rick series. I would list all the references, but there's too many. Though, I can list a few of the bigger references for context (Sentimental Reasons, As The World Falls Down, The Little Big Things)
Also, special thanks go to @her-victori for reading a majority of my fics in a short span of time. You Rock! As well to random anons who leave me sweet words in my ask box.
If you haven't read the first or second of this fic then here's the link. (Read Part1 Here) (Read Part2 Here)
In this fic the reader tries to be more reserved and mature for Rick, but what will he think?
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Chapter 3: One hasn't got time
Random fish jumped out of the water, a cricket jumped over his foot, and there you two were amidst the music of the night. You sat on the hood of his car, swinging your feet back and forth, wondering what was going on inside of that head of his. You knew Zeta-7 was studying you, with one his hands in his pocket while the other held your heels, half hidden by the darkness. Was he worried you were going to walk barefoot on the gravel, or preoccupied with the state of your naked feet? Might've been the shade of nail polish you had on your toes, or simply he was thinking of a completely unrelated topic; of which you may never know. Nonetheless, you were compelled to apologize again in order to fill up the gap of conversation. “Rick, I really am sorry if I ruined our date. I should've just talked to you about how I was feeling.”
Walking around the car, placing your discarded heels in the back seat, Zeta-7 opened the trunk and searched around until he found what he was looking for. “Y-y-you didn't ruin our date,” he assured, dropping on one knee beside you so he could slip his sandals on your feet. “you saved it. It's - it's one less thing t-to worry about. Boy, I'm glad I-I still had a pair of flip flops in the trunk. They sure came in handy.”
“How long have those been in there.”
“I'd say a-a few months.”
A few months probably meant they'd been in there since that time you two went to the beach. You checked your now sandaled foot, giggling at the dramatic size differences between your foot and the sandal. “Hmm, I guess this means I'm not Cinderella; the slipper doesn't fit. That's a good thing because prince charming is so not my type.”
When he stood back up, he wondered. “Then what is y-your type?”
You'd think he'd by now that you had never been crazy about guys. Sure, in your teen years you had your random crushes on the guys in your art and science class, but nothing specific came to mind as to why they were appealing to you; you had other more activities which kept you happily diverted. And now, taking in the sharp lines of his suit, and eager want of understanding, you felt your heart flutter as it did when he was especially attractive to you. It wasn't so much in his appearance but in the feelings you had when light-hearted, casual sweetness flitted across the lines of romanticism; when smart, witty repartee translated to golden words, soft touches, and knowing. But to Rick, he needed both the conscious and unconscious understanding; the affirmation that you held him in high regard. “That's a good question Ricky. You know it's not goblin kings or fire-breathing dragons who are cursed princes in disguise, neither is it swimsuit models, or rock stars, and never villains. Honestly, I didn't know I had a type until I met someone who challenged the conventional rules.”
With raised brow, he shifted his weight to his other foot, pleasantly intrigued. “Is th-that so?”
Why the smartest man in the universe had to doubt the validity of his place in your heart and skeptical when varying parties voiced conflicting opinions would perhaps be the ongoing mystery, but you dare not hurt him further. “It is. I like people who are comforting, who can cook and garden. Maybe they'll tell me silly stories, and make me tea before they say goodnight. Being multilingual never hurt, and if they have a cute stutter, they might as well kill me with cuteness when paired with darling buck teeth. Hmm, reminds me of a certain mountain king I knew once upon a dream. Though the only difference between him and you is that he was very lonely, and as for you, I hope you'll never have to be again.”
You looked up at him, with cheeks flaming after this sort confession, finding that your usual open affections were a mix teasing and simple flirtations, but you looked away from his burning, but altogether odd gaze of his since your heart beated wildly in your chest from it; for a great deal of the time, you two were very casual with one another as you had been when you were just friends. Zeta-7 stepped closer, and put his hand under your chin and lifted your face to look at it keenly. “With you,” he smiled protectingly before he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “I-I-I never will be.”
You certainly hoped so. “Rick, I think it's getting late. Should we call it a night?”
“Are y-you tired?”
“Not in the slightest. Why? Feeling like an adventure?”
“Not exactly, but can I take y-you somewhere?”
“Sure. As long as you're there, then I don't mind.”
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You snuggled into his side, trying to steal as much warmth as you could. “Since when did you have a hammock?”
“Since th-this morning. Do you like it?”
“I love it. Especially since it gives me an excuse to just come over and chill in the backyard. Maybe do a little bird watching, flirt with the gardener. You know.”
“Gosh, y-you can come over whenever you want. Mi casa es s-su casa. Remember?”
His home was your home? Well, you always felt it was in a way. As ever there was a feeling of unchangingness about the night sky, and with you two returning to the general lazy routine that was as delightful as it was elusive, you wondered how you were going to convince yourself to leave the comfort of his arms. You were happy that he chose to allow tonight's events go, and focus on the good parts, but while things changed at a steady pace, there were moments like this and in between, like at the ice cream shop which made you conscious of his want of family; of intimacy; of closeness to chase away all the lonely shadows which were always around the corner. You owed him a great deal, and honestly, you were in want of those things too. “I'm happy that you say that Rick,” you answered matter of factly. “because I can't wait for the day when it really is. Well, whenever you're home is ready to receive me.”
The hand which had been absentmindedly rubbing your arm stopped. And again, you heard him sniffle as was typical when he was emotional, and his heart was beating a little fast. You sincerely hoped you wouldn't hurt him with all this excitement. And when he calmed a little, he turned his body to face you, smiling softly at this possibility. “I-I-I look forward to that day too.”
________________
Pots and pans are moved around, and he began to make his special brew. Unlike the mediocre ingredients which you had in your home, Zeta-7 had some of the freshest, and most potent herbs and spices which could be found in this part of the world. If you hadn't known better you'd say they were brought straight from India, and then to your surprise, he proceeded to tell you that they were, and how he regularly visits when he can. With delight, he tells of the exotic culture, of its people, the food, and the points of interest that would never be found in travel pamphlets; painting scenes and landscapes.
Like always he knew how to match your mood to a flavor, and give you just what you needed. From the cabinets, and from the pantry he retrieved what he needed, and lined them up on the counter. Whole cloves, green cardamom pods, cinnamon sticks, which he breaks into pieces, freshly chopped ginger, ground nutmeg, white peppercorns, star anise, and loose black tea. Soon, the air was full of spices, and the Masala Tea was near completion; it was your favorite and made you think of many other similar times when you two sat together over tea to discuss many a topic which was suitable to talk about in the evening. With care, Rick poured his concoction into your new mug, and he poured his into a Shoney's mug and lightened both with milk, and sweetened them with honey. With the spoon he used to stir, he tasted it to be sure, then held it out to you. “I hope it's t-to your liking.”
“You know it always is, for you know what I like.” The first sip is heavenly, and you sigh happily as he watches you in amusement. “Rick, what's so funny?”
He holds your gaze for a moment, before he chuckles. “It's a-a secret.”
You stuck out your tongue, but he doesn't relent and goes on to drinking his tea. Zeta-7 can be a tease when he wanted to be, but he isn't so unkind as to not apologize. “I'm sorry, I-I-I don't mean to offend you or anything, but I'd love to make it up to you if you'd let me. I um - I got something for you.”
Pulling several small boxes from his inner suit pockets, which were definitely bigger in the inside, he handed them to you. “When I was on Mars last month, I saw a few things that reminded me of you. Do you want t-t-to know what they are?”
“Rick, you didn't have to do this. You spoil me enough as it is, but I would like to know.”
“Gosh, I wanted t-t-to do it. After all, y-you are my favorite.”
“I better be.” you winked. “Should I open it now?”
“If y-y-you want to. I hope y-you will like them.”
Taking a deep breath, you carefully unwrapped the sparkly gift paper and opened the first box which had a precious rose quartz apple brooch that you had only seen on TV. “Is this what I think it is?”
“Almost. Y-you see, on Mars, they manufacture a-a lot of - many similar products which you could find on Earth, except they tend t-to be more technological. This, for example, was originally made t-to act as a decorative cooling device for those really hot Martian days, but I modified it t-to do this.”
Cupping your hands with his, you gasped as it warmed your hands, and an inner calm took over you. He continued. “It'll calm you down any time you feel overwhelmed, and it doubles as a-a hand warmer. All y-you have to do is think good thoughts, and it'll magnify them.”
Unable to see where the hidden technology and mechanisms were, you wondered. “Is it magic?”
“Hohoho, if y-you want it to be. I-I-I know you don't - don't always like how you're meds make y-you feel and I wanted you to be able to be comfortable. And it'll come in handy when winter comes a-around.”
Trying it for yourself, it made you wonder as it soothed you if he had used properties from those empathic plants that existed on the planet with the ioculus and giant flowers. Who knows, but it felt wonderful, like a balm for your soul. Opening the next box, there was a hair clip in the shape of a puppy dragon. “Oh my goodness,” you gasped. “this is just too precious. Rick, what did you…how did you... ”
“I-I know how much you love them. It's not like th-the real thing, but it's c-cute isn't it?”
You didn't hesitate to clip it on your hair, feeling your smile growing. “Its freaking adorable. Sweet, sweet cookie man, please tell me they make other jewelry with similar designs.”
“Hohoho, they do but th-they sort of double as weapons. The hair clip can only summon them when th-they are within range of-of course.”
“What if I wanted to be queen of the puppy dragons? You never know, maybe I'm a dangerous woman. I can be ferociously adorable. When I want to be.”
Zeta-7 seemed to be considering this idea, and you had to poke him to make him realize you had simply been joking; mostly joking. The last box which laid on your lap was a bit heavier, and there were several layers of holographic tissue paper you had to peel away before you finally saw what it was. You felt tears prick at the back of your eyes sight of it; a miniature glass terrarium necklace, with a shrunken sunflower that had an iridescent shimmer on its petals.“You couldn't have bought this. Did you make it?”
“I-I did for the most part. That's a hybrid sunflower that can only be found on the Citadel, and I used metals that can rival gold and silver in its durability. It's - I-I-I could go into the mechanics of it, but I-I think that would ruin the surprise. M-mi corazón, if-if you look inside you'll see what I-I see when I think of you.”
Staring at it intently, it took a retina scan to verify the user, and then you saw clips of his memories of you. You saw yourself from his perspective, dancing around him while wearing your hello kitty pajamas; of you all sniffly and sick on the couch; that time you had flour on your cheeks after your failure in baking; of you blowing kisses; of you fast asleep amongst all the plants of his conservatory; of your joy as you pointed to things from the ferris wheel; of your hands as you touched up his makeup on his arms; of painting; of your tears and surprise; of huddling for warmth; of feeding his turtles; of you standing in the rain, drenched from head to toe; of you handing him clover; of your right above him, tickling and kissing him in the grass; of your Rick cosplay; of you standing in the half light of the moon; as a princess, confused as to who was who as you stepped into the ballroom; of hundreds of butterflies shielding you; trying to hide a shameless amount of candy; of you commanding plants to your will; of you sitting on the ground with a scraped knee and mess of Doritos and very surprisingly of you as a child handing him a rose from your father's garden before it all faded away. “I can't believe this.” you gasped, looking away in favor of Rick. “You've met me before?”
Scratching the back of his neck, he confessed sadly. “Yeah.”
“So when you said it wasn't the first time you waited for me, then what? You really did meet me as a child? In this dimension?”
“It's a-a long story. You probably wouldn't even remember.”
“Why didn't you say anything?”
“For very similar reasons as t-to why I had to wait in your dream. It's - I've known a-about you even before y-you were born, but that's - that's a-a different story for another day. As I said, it's a-a-a really long story, but I promise t-t-to tell you everything.”
He saw you grow up in real life and in a dream, he must have known about you for years. And yet, he waited. Why? That brought up so many other questions, but for now, you only considered him with a softer, deeper affection. “You're full of surprises aren't you? Always one step ahead of me. I'd say that's not fair, but I don't have a right to. You always have a good reason. You….you really do know me, don't you?”
Feeling warm lips on your temple, he chuckled. “N-n-not everything, but I like t-to try. I doubt anyone could know everything, but I- I like you. I-I-I know you could do better, but I just want you.”
“To think that all I wanted was for you to like me more.”
“Hohoho, I doubt I-I could like you less. Y-you're everything to me.”
Leaning down towards you, he captured your mouth in a firm kiss, and you tugged on his tie to bring him closer. He tasted like cardamom and promises, was everything and you couldn't think of a better way to end your date, but then to you disappointment, you heard the familiar sound of a portal and a couple of guard Ricks stepped through; their dimension numbers worn prominently on thier chests. “Yo ding dong, breaks over. They need you back in the lab pronto!” And when they fully stepped into the kitchen, they joked amongst themselves about how such a good for nothing Rick be capable of knowing what to do with a woman, let alone be so well acquainted with one.
Zeta-7 visibly winced at their laughter since they had come at an inopportune time, but for your sake tried to remain strong. “I-I-I guess our date really is over.”
“It was nice while it lasted.”
“Come on Doofus,” yelled the head guard. “we don't have all day. You can play with her later.”
“I'm - I'm sorry about this,” he whispered. “I sh-should have told you that there was a-a chance of being called into work.”
“Don't worry, I'm sure they need you for something really important. You know I'll be here when you come back. Don't you? I'll be fine, really I will be. Be careful Ricky. I love you.”
Pulling you into a tight hug, he was hesitant to let you go, but at the urging of his superior, he let go with a frustrated sigh, removed his suit jacket, and grabbed his lab coat and followed after them. Once gone, you cleaned up, and wiped down the counters and table. Seeing his jacket, and not wanting it to wrinkle, you picked it up and hung it in the hallway closet. Though, once it was hung, you noticed a slight bulge in one of the inner pockets. You had a feeling, though thinking it could possibly be otherwise, you reached down, and pulled out a box; a single glance to confirmed it. Zeta-7 had intended to make an honest woman out of you.
With shaky hands, you slipped it over your ring finger, and felt hot tears run down your cheeks; you had possibly ruined his opportunity to propose. When you felt that you had worn it for an inappropriate amount of time, you pulled it off and placed it back in the box; it wasn't yours yet. You two only wanted to make each other happy, but there would always be obstacles and peculiar incidents along the way. And this….you certainly hope he wouldn't change his mind and try again; whenever that time would be.
Fin
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auroralalune-blog · 5 years
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After I left my ex husband two workers showed up at my door. The only reported claim was that I thought my cat could "shift" into a human being. It wasn't even true. Literally an angry soon to be ex roommate. Id left my abusive ex six months beforehand because I didn't want my boys to grow up like that. They were 18 months and 8 months old at the time. Last I saw of them they were 3 and 2 years old.
The worker didn't even investigate. She said "people with mental illness should not have children" as her tag along(who id later find out wasn't even a worker herself) nodded along and periodically repeated what she was saying. I have ptsd. That's it.
They pulled countless horrors on us. It was like mean girls cps edition.
We ended up getting amy anderson for a judge and if you search her up you'll know she advocates ignoring when cps breaks the law and not giving kids back regardless of the reasons they were taken.
So my kids were taken with no court order. No probable cause. Then we get her for a judge after the fact and she is cps's champion not someone even considering the law or the evidence(not only did they not have any- i had plenty of my own- a lot of which my court appointed lawn ornament- no that's overstating. A lawn ornament would have been more useful) refused to submit. What little got in at all supported there lack of case and general misconduct and also how bonded my children and I were.
The judge is on record advocating for making case decisions based on funding and not on cases themselves. In fact, you can search her up on youtube. Look for the full video. "Funding consequences trump best interests of child" was the most recent title I found. Sometimes re uploads of it get taken down. Someone out there doesn't like that it's out there. There are many of us trying to keep it alive. When I see it I share it. The things said there should have had her and that other judge disbarred. Instead she tore apart my family over those same things and was elevated to state supreme court judge.
I did everything and in the end they claimed that while I hadn't done anything wrong(and literally they had nothing) that I eventually would do something "because mental illness".
The guardian at litem for my children didn't even know my kids names.
They said my children and I were mutually bonded then tried to claim I had something nobody else but the person they sent me to for an eval has ever said(my own psychiatrist was ludicrous about it at the time). They claimed I had some fucked up disorder that renders someone incapable of bonding. I guess ptsd wasn't scary enough.
They did a referel for "grief counseling" after my rights were severed. I was told it would look good on appeal. The counselor admitted to submitting everything to the worker. Personally I think the sadistic bitches just wanted to watch me suffer. I never called him after our time was up. I hated him and everything he represented. It was like they were gloating and they were. The last time I spoke to any of them they gloated about what they did to us.
My lawyer never filed the appeal and when I tried to file myself I was refused at filing. In one instance I recorded the clerk said "You need a lawyer to file. Your no longer a party to the case" Id researched it and knew that was bullshit. So I insisted and told her what Id found in the law books. She said "let me ask the judge" then came back "the judge says you can't do that. You have to have a lawyer file for you"
It's been six years since I've seen my children now and I've never stopped trying to get someone to hear us. I keep a journal in a place that is technically public in hopes that one day they will know me through it. In hopes it will have any answers they might want. I'm not someone who naturally does that. It's actually very hard. It feels like standing naked but at this point no one will help us so what else can I do?
A couple years after I lost boys my better half and I(not the asshole ex husband but the wonderful man I've been with for seven years now) got custody of my stepson. This was four years ago. Once I passed background and it was proven that what they did to my kids and I was shit, we got custody of him and I was approved to be alone with him afterwards, being deemed "not a danger". I never was.
All through the case I found out the worker "talked" to people. My voice was damaged because of one instance she talked to doctors after a medication she insisted on(don't even get me started on the violations in this instance alone just with that and the threats etc) made me have a terrible seizure. That seizure caused temp memory loss and while I was piecing things together I was suffering and went into the after stuff that can happen after a really bad seizure. I tried calling for help. The nurse stood and watched because the worker told her a bunch of crap. I still don't know what to this day but I lost my voice calling for help. It's actually only in the past couple years I've gotten even close to what it once was and even then I've had to get used to putting more behind it to sound normal volume and have to avoid certain sounds or volumes on certain notes while singing because my voice simply makes no sound on those anymore. In the ones the sound is gone entirely no matter the volume I still try even though I've been told there is no hope.
My voice is the least of what these people have taken from me. My children, my world, my little suns moons and stars. They took everything from me for no real reason but that they could and I feel this everyday. Even moment your happy you feel it. Your not at the same time. This giant chasm within you no happiness can reach.
They've done the up down on me. It's not depression. I'm just a mother and that chasm and the hate I've learned to feel in the years since is the other side of a mothers love. That's why it's like this. Like walking around with your heart ripped out.
They could all burn in a firey tortuous afterlife for a thousand eternities and never would it even begin to touch the pain they have caused me alone. I cannot begin to imagine when that extends to other people they have done this too- and this has happened a lot I've found in the years since what they did to us.
The story of this family could have ended very differently. Few times where cps fucks up does the have such a happy ending.
The last thing my oldest son asked me was why I didn't want him. He was three years old. The lady smirked like the insufferable bitch that she was! He asked me why I didn't do everything and why I gave them up etc. Things no three year old should even know exist. It was lies and I told him it was lies. The bitch threatened to end our last visit early if I said anything more to comfort my son on the subject. I continued to reassure him and his brother I had and always would love them, that I would always and had always wanted them, and that I would never give up on them. Those last moments were cut short for those words alone.
I've long thought of those bitches as monsters in human skin. Soulless. Heartless. Wretched. Bitches.
What was done to us was irredeemably evil. Pure and simple.
I love my stepson/nephew dearly but he's brother's/cousins he has never met and sometimes he will just look at me and say "Mom are you sad?" and i will say "Always" He used to ask why. Now he says "Because Rowan and Rohan aren't here?" and say "Yes." he asks "Why?" "Because some hurts don't go away." "I hope one day you don't hurt anymore" I love that boy so much but he sees more than I want him to sometimes. Just like his dad and my dad- i wish he could have met his grandpa. His mom still doesn't know her and I are related. It's crazy but I actually only found our a few months back myself. Not sure I'll ever tell her. She's kinda a bitch and likes emotional blackmail. It would be like handing her the knife and saying "stab me" to tell her.
I love that child but his place in my heart is his own. Rowan and Rohan can never be replaced. The absence is felt every festering moment of every single day. You learn to breath when your heart cannot. When the pain is so much your body physically feels it in your chest. That heady horrible pain. You learn to walk around like that. Everyday. Every. second. of. every. agonizing. fucking. day.
I'm glad these people had a happier ending and less time suffering. I've seen people suffer longer for less.
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