#(not serious but also very serious connotation)

[benetnvsch]

guy who meows and second guy who has impossibly high standards for meows

[kitsunabi]

Ah, I see why they translated it to Hat Guy now. It really doesn't quite work in English huh? But honestly 阿帽 is really cute tho....

It makes sense that a phonetic translation of A-Mao would lose the entire fact that "mao" is just [帽] which is the word for hat. But like, using Hat Guy in English just makes wanderer sound that much weirder whereas in chinese that would be valid since that is the way we can shorten names. Like if I really wanted to, I could shorten Yanfei to like.... A-fei or something.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i just realized setrákus is just ra ra rasputin But Evil and it took an inch off the front of my skull

[thanonymousotp]

you ever hate being neurodivergent so much u wish ur hyperfixation never existed because HOO boy dandy yeehaw yippee lamao

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

Exposing SVSSS Fanon: 25/∞

VIOLENCE AS COURTSHIP IS A PART OF DEMON CULTURE

Rating: CANON

A nearly universal trope, especially in Moshang fics, is the fact that courtship is performed through violence in demon culture, and that the misunderstandings between the pair are because of cultural differences. The fact that demons mistreat the targets of their affection is canon, however, it is important for fans to note that this sort of characterization and worldbuilding is rooted in racial and ethnic stereotypes.

This is one of the most-requested topics I've ever written on this blog, and I took a long time to think about how best to approach the subject in a way that both keeps to the intention of this blog (referencing canon & providing quotes) as well as raising awareness to the very real problematic aspects of what is a well-loved and often-used trope in fanon that I don't think most western fans are aware of.

First, the canon analysis:

“If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand your intentions?” Luo Binghe asked. Obviously, no one dared to tear down Luo Binghe’s facade and expose him directly, but this question was really very…unsuited to the demonic approach. After a long moment, not a single person had answered. In fact, the answer was so simple that any normal human could have given it to you. If you liked someone, you should just tell them. Unfortunately, there was not a single “normal” person on the scene—and aside from Shang Qinghua, there also were no “humans” either. Mobei-Jun thought about it. With the paths his mind was given to take, there was no telling how he had interpreted “unique” feelings. “Beat them up three times a day?” (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

Most of the fandom remembers this passage, and some may think that this is where the interpretation of violence as courtship comes from-- however, that is not the case. This passage might actually not refer to courtship at all-- while that is one possible interpretation, Mobei-jun could also be interpreting "unique feelings" to mean something different than "romantic feelings," since Luo Binghe didn't specify romance directly.

The "violent demonic courtship" idea actually originates much earlier in the novel, just after the invasion of Qiong Ding Peak:

In truth, Shen Qingqiu didn’t intend to tease; he thought himself very straightforward. The one who’d tampered with Luo Binghe’s dream realm was Sha Hualing. Though she did have some harmful intentions, her underlying motive was obvious. Naturally, she was driven by a young girl’s secret yearning for love. Otherwise, she would have directed her aggressions toward others, not specifically Luo Binghe. Demons were compelled to viciously bully the person they liked. Only if the object of their affections failed to die would the demon accept them. If their target died, that meant they were useless and not worth nursing any lingering affections for. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)

This, in fact, has somewhat more serious connotations than the way I have often seen it interpreted in fanworks-- it is not merely beating up a potential partner, but pushing them to their limits, nearly driving them to death, and it is certainly implied that it is not uncommon for the object of a demon's affections to actually die.

Now that the canonical basis of the idea has been established, let us move on to the second, and arguably more important part of this post: the racism.

I would like to add a disclaimer here-- I am going to discuss this in hopes of raising more awareness in the fandom, but I am not North/West/Central Asian myself, so I will only mention things in brief and somewhat generally-- if anyone who belongs to the affected cultures would like to make corrections, or more detailed explanations, or any other additions to this post on this topic, I greatly welcome that, as I feel it is an important issue that should be addressed.

In Chinese fiction, particularly fantasy genres like xianxia/xuanhuan/xiuzhen, but also in historical and wuxia fiction, there is a pervasive, prevalent tendency for authors to use racial and ethnic stereotypes against Central, Northern, and Western Asian cultures such as Mongolian & Arab cultures in their worldbuilding regarding the North, while stereotypes against Southeast Asian cultures are used in worldbuilding regarding the South. These stereotypes are most typically applied to villains and villainous groups, and are so widespread as to be ubiquitous within the genre. MXTX has used these tropes before-- notably with the Banyue people in TGCF, with adaptations of both TGCF and MDZS including design stereotypes, such as CQL's portrayal of the Qinghe Nie (combining their tendency toward violence and 'unnatural' cultivation method, with design traits typically associated with Northern/Central Asian cultures).

It is worth noting, though, that most authors do not intentionally use these traits as racist stereotypes in their worldbuilding, especially when regarding a non-human species-- in the same way that western fantasy authors use goblin and orc characters and tropes without realizing or acknowledging their racist origins and connotiations, these stereotypes have simply become genre tropes without that direct connection to their origins. Nonetheless, it is still worth noting-- and worth trying not to fall into the trap of leaning into stereotypical traits in fanworks' character portrayals.

Stereotypes include but are not limited to barbaric and brutish cultural traits, association with animals/having animal features, dark or corrupt magical/spiritual practices, certain types of braided hairstyles & other fashion choices, and originating from the far north or south.

Some of the prejudice and stereotyping of Northern Asian cultures likely originates from the fact that in the past, China was invaded and subjugated by peoples from the north (under Mongolian rule during the Yuan dynasty, and under Manchurian rule during the Qing dynasty) as well as having many conflicts with these peoples throughout history. In fact, the Qing dynasty only ended in the early 1900s, so some of this oppression is still in recent memory-- nonetheless, people belonging to ethnic minorities in China are still affected by this negative stereotyping today, so regardless of the origin, racism is still racism and should be addressed, and China today is a majority Han Chinese nation-- even if Han Chinese are considered a minority and affected by systemic racism in other places in the world.

Additionally, many tropes specifically applied to the southern demons, but also used for demon culture as a whole, are tied to stereotypical portrayals of Southeast Asian culture, which is rooted in a long history of Imperial China's invasion and oppression.

All of those stereotypes listed above apply to SVSSS' demon culture. Even in Mobei-jun's name-- 漠北 meaning "northern desert," which is the real-world name for a region in the north of the Gobi desert in Mongolia.

Therefore, it is important to remember that though violence-as-courtship in demon culture is canonical within SVSSS' setting, it nonetheless originates from harmful racial and ethnic stereotypes. It would be a good idea for fans to keep this in mind when creating their fanworks, and to treat the topic with sensitivity-- but I will leave any direct suggestions on how to handle this to those who are actually part of the affected groups.

--

(thanks to @flidgetjerome for additional notes regarding SEAsian stereotyping and author intent!)

Also, to be absolutely clear: I am not saying that svsss’ demons are specifically coded as any real ethnic group— it’s only that in many ways the portrayal is similar to the common portrayal of various ethnic groups in cmedia. I don’t believe they are specifically meant to parallel a real life group, unlike for example TGCF’s Banyue— but it’s worth questioning why these traits, why these characters.

[yuellii]

when imitating life from art

𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 of what kinds of gifts they would give you while we wait for maintenance to end !

feat. various fontaine characters, separately

note. reader’s gender not specified, not necessarily romantic but definitely can be, this is written pre-release, just something to kill the time during maintenance before fontaine drops !!

FURINA.

random trinkets ; She’s quite sporadic, actually. Quite similar to the flamboyance of her demeanor, she does not stick to a theme when she’s gift-giving to you especially. They must be random, they must be completely new and fun every time—and that’s not a rule, it’s only like the laws of nature.

In retrospect, they’re all endearing in the end. If there’s one theme she missed, it’s that all these random trinkets pertained to you in some way, even in the oddest of aspects. Truth be told, she picked items up once they reminded her of you, and that itself was enough to excuse the weirdness of some of her presents.

LYNEY.

magic tricks ;; The gifts he gives themselves are… rather normal. But he is a person of presentation, or so he’d say. Therefore, the true uniqueness that set him aside from any other gift givers was the performance he gave alongside them.

For even the smallest of gifts—books, drinks, Mora—he insists he hides them from you first. With a wink and a grin that can be frustrating sometimes, the true present is really how hard he tries to impress you. And so, he goes out of his way to try something new every time. If you’re not impressed, absolutely astounded and amazed, then is it really a gift from him at all?

LYNETTE.

flowers ;; The irony is that Lynette hates flowers… When they’re given to her, at least. But they were always offered to her early into her career that she just associates them with goodness, and goodness, only. So in her mind, who is more deserving of flowers than you?

She doesn’t quite know flower meanings; she likely has no idea each one even had a separate connotation. But she knew that they looked pretty, and if you paid attention hard enough, you’d notice they were displayed in such a beautiful way every time she gave them to you, like she felt the need to carefully arrange them to your liking.

FREMINET.

seashells ;; ‘He sells seashells by the seashore’—not really, but he liked mumbling it to himself whenever he came by. He liked diving; pretty much everyone knew that. He liked the water; everyone knew that, too. But, he also liked to silently hand you shells he collected from his little water sessions.

If you took the time to notice all the details, you’d see that he only brings you complete shells, ones that stents cracked or broken. It’s as if he sorted them out one by one, making sure they look pristine before selecting them as the final one—and maybe, that’s truly what he does.

NEUVILLETTE.

dinner dates ;; He actually doesn’t… give you gifts. Physical ones, anyways. He’s a very serious yet interesting man, one that leaves you guessing what his next move will be.

What he does as a treat in place of a physical present is treat you out to a nice dinner, but you won’t know what days he will ask until he is already in front of you. They’re quite nice, though, as he always picks places he knows you enjoy at least a few things off the menu. And they’re quite expensive and classy, too. You’re also not quite sure if he picks these random nights based on your mood throughout the day, or based on his own selfish discretion… But honestly, you’ll never know.

WRIOTHESLEY.

tea boxes ;; The man in charge of a fleet of exiled convicts is one you’d consider to be more scruff and too barbaric of a person, but he is gentle in the way he likes his tea. It’s a form of art that calms him down from the bottom of the ocean, one that he thinks you would enjoy, too.

And so he loves giving sets of new blends he’s tried, or sometimes specific herbs to add to really make a different aroma pop more than usual. He always prefers tea over anything, and his gifts and recommendations are his way of saying he wants you to enjoy them, too.

NAVIA.

skincare ;; The lady is quite particular with the sun and the shade, the hydrating and hydro-boosting—she takes care in the art of aesthetics and believes it’s only fair that you pamper yourself, same way as she does on her own. There’s an interest she takes, one that is so particular in which she studies your type of skin just to find out what lotion would be best, or what would keep your face hydrated.

And at first, you’d think to yourself maybe it’s a bit insulting, like she needs to look better than you already do. But wish her dashing smile always so positive when she gifts them, it’s clear she has the best of intentions.

CLORINDE.

gold trinkets ;; Being a champion duelist meant many things, but one of those features implicated an eye for the golden prize. Gold was always classy, so she liked it. Love was also classy, and she liked feeling it whenever she thought of something to give to you. It was always something gold, ranging from expensive jewelry to even cheap, gold-lined trinkets.

But she thought of you when she chose it, and she thought it was pretty enough to give to you. And it felt lovely, at the very least, as if she was sharing her winning trophies.

[ilyrafe]

𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒓. 𝒄.

A - affection (how do they show affection)

rafe isn’t the most affectionate person in the world, but when he feels comfortable and safe enough, he makes a point of showing you how dear you are by giving you expensive gifts and unique experiences like a weekend on a yacht, away from everything and everyone, or a dinner at an expensive restaurant in new york city, with ward’s private jet. he spares no effort to show you that he can take care of you as he thinks you deserve. he’s also not very good with words, but rafe is an extremely transparent person, so his face says it all. his eyes always soften when he’s looking at you, and that says more than any diamond necklace or any declaration of love.

B - balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

maybe rafe is a bit of a workaholic, money and power are very important things to him, but he goes out of his way to try and fit you into his life. he doesn’t always succeed, but he tries.

C - cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

he’s not used to being cuddled, so naturally he doesn't do it to anyone. most of the time, you are the one who initiates the gesture, and it takes a long time for him to reciprocate and not feel awkward. whenever rafe is anxious, you cuddle him until you feel him calming down, and your cuddles are healing. they help immensely. he had never felt so loved and safe. you two normally stay quiet, just wanting the comfort of one another after a hard day, but sometimes, he’ll ask you stuff here and there.

D - date (what was your first date?)

after a few weeks of just pretending that neither of you had any serious feelings for the other, rafe invited you to dinner and you accepted. he was relaxed, in a good mood and even made jokes that made you laugh and throw your head back. he didn’t seem to be the same rafe who walked around with kelce and topper with an air of superiority. he was funny, smart, cute and perhaps the most interesting person you’ve met.

E - excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

your presence calms him enough for him to organize his thoughts. it doesn’t mean he’s going to vent to you, but your presence makes you feel at ease. he loves seeing you, especially after long periods of time, when he needs to travel for work and you can’t go. he’ll make sure he’ll make up for the time he was away.

F - fighting (what happens when you fight)

your first fight was a big fight, which made rafe understand that you’re not as submissive as he would like, because you’re not afraid of him and you hit him head on with the same tone he uses when he’s angry. in the first fight, rafe just took out all his frustrations on you, which made you mad. this fight almost ended the relationship, because you already had some unpleasant things about him that were stuck in your throat and everything ended up exploding, but after a long conversation, you got it together and now rafe thinks five times before thinking of taking out his problems on you.

G - gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

rafe is quite simple, he calls you “babe” or “baby”. he rarely calls you by your name.

H - hi (first time meeting)

you met at a party he was throwing at tanny hill, as a friend of his took you. you apologized for crashing the party, but rafe thought you were adorable and obviously gorgeous. you praised the mansion and said you were having fun, and he promptly said you could come over whenever you wanted, but he didn’t say it with a sexual connotation, but rather a friendly one. he offered to show you other parts of the house and that certainly attracted some looks.

I - intimacy (how romantic they are)

rafe hasn’t had many romantic experiences in his life, he was never attracted to the idea of ​​dating until he met you, so he found himself searching the internet for “romantic gestures”, “how to impress a woman” and things like that. he wanted to do everything right, he wanted you to see that he was taking you seriously. he likes to take you to dinners, he gets you flowers and expensive gifts.

J - jealousy (do they get jealous?)

both of you get jealous of each other, actually. he doesn’t like to see you talking to other boys, except kelce and topper, but you don’t stop having male friends because of that, after all, you don’t stop him from having female friends either (if he wants to). you tend to feel jealous when you see him getting along with an ex girlfriend or even a former hookup.

K - kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

in public, rafe gives you quick kisses here and there, sometimes on your hand, but mostly on your lips. in private, he’s quite passionate and loves to kiss your neck and collarbones. he also kisses your forehead a lot, especially when you’re asleep! when you spend time apart for whatever reason, his kisses are urgent (which you absolutely live for).

L - love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)

rafe realized he was in love with you when you spent a whole night comforting him after a terrible fight with ward and sarah. you did everything. you held him, you let him cry, you let him vent and you never let go of him. he never felt so loved in his life before, no one never really heard him before. you were so caring and understanding, never interrupting him.

M - moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

after a few years of relationship, rafe proposes that you move in together, after all, you are already adults and you know that you will be “together forever”. you don’t think twice. you spend more time with him than in your own home anyways.

N - newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

the thought of being a dad worries him a lot, actually. he doesn’t want his children to turn out like he (or sarah) did, he doesn’t want to repeat ward’s mistakes. he wants to do everything right. when the topic arises, he begins to read about parenthood, how to raise kids and all that stuff, which makes you certain that if you’re gonna have kids, they’re gonna be his.

O - open (how open you are with one another)

at first, he’s not open with you at all, but you can tell it’s a defense mechanism. when you and rafe start getting to know each other more and become more than friends, he begins to feel more comfortable with talking to you about himself and his life. he tends to talk more at night, before falling asleep. you’ve noticed rafe doesn’t like to keep secrets, he needs to let it out so he tells you a lot of things, some stuff being really random. you also feel the same and begin to tell him about yourself and it’s nice to hear that he can relate to you in something.

P - photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)

rafe likes photography and is quite good at it! he prefers to take the picture rather than being photographed, but you manage to sneak in a picture or two of his when he’s asleep or not looking. he has a lot of polaroids of you, but also on his phone.

Q - quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)

rafe is very messy. it seems that he’s physically unable to put an object back to its designated place. his room is always messy and he knows it. there are several plastic water bottles scattered around his bedroom and he doesn’t care to throw them away.

R - recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)

rafe doesn’t like when you see him injured just because he doesn’t want you to be afraid of him, but he always lets you help him with his wounds. he knows you hate when he’s in a fight. he apologizes and says he’ll do better, but every once in a while you’ll get a text alerting you about another fight that he’s involved in.

S - solution (how they resolve fights)

when you are wrong, you apologize. rafe, however, has trouble recognizing when he’s wrong, and tends to blame others for his mistakes, but you never let him get away with it. he just hates when you tell him “rafe, you’re in the wrong, period. apologize and fix it.”, but deep down he does appreciate that you never buy his bullshit and puts him in his place. after everything is said and done, you both have a calm conversation and rafe does apologize more heartfeltly.

T - touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

normally after a fight with ward, a long day at work or when he’s anxious, rafe wants nothing more than to be with you in his bedroom and hold you till it all goes away and he can breathe again. you don’t even need to touch him, the feel of you in his arms is enough. you play with his hair, you trace his back with your nails or you play with his hand, to let him know you’re there and you’re not going anywhere.

U - up (waking up with them)

waking up with rafe is the best. he has his arms around you every single time. if you’re still asleep, he just kisses your shoulder or forehead, trying to wake up a bit more before getting up and starting the day. if you’re up before him, you play with his hair and stroke his soft skin. he usually has this hard exterior, so sleeping is the rare chance you get to see him be calm.

V - vacation (where they travel with you)

you encourage rafe to visit other countries, discover new cultures and foods, and it’s always fun to travel with him because he values ​​comfort and lets you take control of the trip. while you like to explore the place by foot, he’s offering to call an uber and “get there faster!”.

W - wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)

on a random day, rafe asked if you ever thought about getting married, and you said yes. then he asked if you would marry him one day, and you said yes. he took a small black velvet box from his pocket, opened it, showing a beautiful ring. the wedding took place just a few months later, and it was a small ceremony, with just a few family members and closest friends. rafe was radiant, and on your honeymoon, you went to greece.

X - x factor (what about you captivated them?)

your self-confidence. you don’t accept insults from anyone, least of all from him. he feels a little jealous of your confidence, because deep down he doesn’t have any. your greatest strength is your kindness and understanding.

Y - yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

like a child, rafe doesn’t really admit when he’s tired. he fights his sleep until he really can’t anymore. when he’s tired, he gets cranky and stubborn just like a toddler. he knows he’s tired, but for some reason he won’t just go to bed and fall asleep.

Z - zzz (how you fall asleep together)

before you, rafe liked his space, but when you both started sharing a bed, rafe couldn’t sleep by himself anymore. he needed to be holding you, smelling you. having you next to him is the only thing he really wants. he has begged you to stay the night just so he can sleep better and you always say yes.

[binsito]

warning: unprotected sex, mentions of m receiving oral sex, usage of the word "kitten" in a sexual connotation, very brief and minor degradation (reader referred to as stupid), nerd!seungmin in a college setting, semi public sex (sex in an empty classroom), i think that's all :]

nerdy college student kim seungmin who has never had a date nonetheless a girlfriend before in his life. too focused on his studies to even have a social life outside of his small squad of geeky friends.

he was used to being somewhat of an outcast, was used to the popular kids asking him for answers, especially the pretty girls with skirts that were way too short. at least sometimes he made some money off of selling his test answers or tutoring.

"don't you guys think he's kinda cute?.. he looks like he's packing.." you gossiped with your friends about him, they laughed and waved you off

"i'm serious you guys! i've seen his imprint before!" you defended but they were not entertaining you.

you were going to prove them wrong, if they weren't going to jump at the opportunity to fuck the cute nerd, then you were.

the next time you saw him, you asked him for help on a test, letting him know you could stay back after class ended so you two could work on it. you knew he charged for exams but you purposely didn't bring any cash.

class wrapped up and the two of you stayed back, there wouldn't be another class in here for the rest of the day so you were in the clear.

and as always, he did fantastic on the test, getting some questions wrong so it didn't seem so suspicious. you thanked him and he patiently waited for you to hand him his payment.

"oh no.." you feigned

"shit, seungmin.. i forgot the cash on my counter.. i'm sorry.." you pouted

"is there any other way i can pay you? i feel soo bad.. i don't wanna stiff you.."

seungmin had a feeling he knew what you were implying, he didn't want you to feel like you had to do that, he was gonna let it slide and just ask you to bring it next time but he also had a feeling you didn't really want to do that.

he also couldn't really help the blood rushing to his cock. he always thought you were the prettiest of the bunch, his heart always hammering in his chest whenever you would acknowledge him by name, even if it was just to get help on a worksheet.

you got underneath his desk on your knees, looking up at him with a pretty little smile. he knew this was definitely better than the fifty bucks he was going to charge you.

and you were so right about him.

his cock was nice and thick, tip red and drooly, a vein on his underside that was so sensitive.

and once he got over his initial shyness, he melted under your touch, enjoying the way your mouth took him, how you gagged on him and made a spitty mess of his cock. he had never been touched like this before, his hand could only do so much and even then he didn't get to touch himself often. pent up school stress surfacing and building up in the form of an orgasm deep within him.

and seungmin was demanding.

because how dare a stupid little kitten forget to pay him for all his hard work?

pulling you off by your hair and instructing you to get on the professor's desk because he wanted to fuck you there, that he wanted to teach you a lesson you'd never forget.

you knew the nerdy ones where always the most fun to mess with.

never in his wildest dreams did kim seungmin think he would be bending you over in an empty classroom and stuffing you full of his delicious cock. his hips slamming against yours as he dug his fingers deep into your side, you were a babbling mess on his cock, whining whenever he pulled out just a little too much.

"next time, don't forget okay? or i won't be as nice.." he growls

(he was hoping there would be a next time, that you would pull this stunt again.)

(you were definitely planning on it.)

"oh s-seungmin.. i don't want you to be nice.." you moaned, cheek pressed into the cold wood of the table but you were too busy enjoying the ridges of his cock inside of you to care about how uncomfortable it was.

he spanked you, wanting to see his handprint on your asscheek, his balls tightening at the sight.

"shit." he grunted

"i'm afraid you might fail this class if you don't let me tutor you.." he chuckled as he felt you clench around him, cunt so warm and velvety that he had to concentrate hard not to cum.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

Who Wants To Talk About Japanese Orthography In Manga???

Me, it's me, I do, and I have been chomping at the bit to get the chance to.

Orthography refers to the conventions of written language to represent sounds. That may bring to mind the idea of rigid grammar rules or spelling standardization, but in a linguistic sense, orthography simply describes observable trends across language use. This isn't about authority--I am not going to talk about what schools teach or say people should write one way or another. This is about examining how real people use written language creatively to convey different things in popular media.

This is a huge topic, so I'm only going to use examples from MHA to highlight Horikoshi's style.

First, let's get a run-down of the main parts of written Japanese and how they tend to be used.

We've got kanji and kana; kanji are logograms, while kana are syllabaries. Kana refers to both hiragana and katakana collectively, but we will delineate the two from here on.

The Wikipedia page for kanji, describing this more succinctly than I'm about to.

For clarity, I'm gonna color-code each one.

Let's take a quick look at all three in action.

Chapter 65

By virtue of being the syllabary that grammar particles are written in, hiragana can get away with a lot that kanji and katakana can't.

You can write simple sentences in hiragana alone, like so:

The sentence is perfectly comprehensible like this, but it reads as casual or perhaps a bit immature, like the person is either leaving out kanji for speed or simplicity (like online) or they aren't confident using kanji. Although, the word hito (person) is extremely common and its kanji is simple, so this would probably look more natural:

But there are also kanji for the word kawaii, so you could also write it this way:

On the other hand, writing the whole thing in katakana looks weird as fuck:

bECAuSE iT kINDA reADS LIKE THis, or maybe L I K E T H I S

It seems almost alien, overemphasizing the phonetic sound of the words, implying there's something notable or unusual about them.

But what if you write it like this?

Both ways use katakana to put flavor on a specific word. The first puts it on person, which could be used in a situation where someone hasn't been named yet, but the speaker tonally emphasizes your knowledge of them--like "oh, you know who."

The second emphasizes cute, which could read as sexually suggestive, teasing/joking, or even a threatening tone, depending on the context. "Real cute, ain't they?"

Basically, the connecting grammar bits need to be in hiragana, but nouns, verbs, and adjectives can typically be written in any of the three systems. That introduces choice into the matter, and these choices may have some cultural connotations.

This is a subtlety in written Japanese that manga loves to take advantage of. Orthography contributes a lot to characterization and tone, so individual creators develop little quirks as part of their own writing style.

Now let's finally take a gander at some of Horikoshi's!

Kanji instead of hiragana for semantic emphasis

Chapter 48

Best Jeanist could have used only hiragana for the word "good" (いい, ii), which is a very common way to write it. But he's not just commenting that they are nice kids, he's talking about them as "goodie two-shoes" and even puts brackets around the idea. The kanji emphasizes the cultural idea of a Good Child™, a well-behaved, morally upright, obedient young person.

Kanji instead of hiragana denoting a serious or severe tone

Chapter 36

Katsuki's "you" pronoun omae being written with kanji comes across as markedly serious, especially compared to how his dialogue is normally written. This is actually the only time Katsuki says omae and it is written with kanji--all the rest are in hiragana, which tends to read as more casual.

Hiragana instead of kanji denoting a gentle tone or youthful/childlike language

Chapters 129 and 183

Katsuki and his omae show us how kanji use can be seen as more mature and serious; Eri's dialogue does the opposite of this by using hiragana when it could use kanji, emphasizing her youth and innocence.

Katakana instead of hiragana or kanji for emphasis or slang

Chapters 209, 207, and 2

As I detailed above, one of katakana's most common uses is similar to italics or all-caps.

But you also tend to see slang written with it, and depending on the slang, the word being in katakana can immediately clarify it from other, perhaps more standard meanings. In Jirou's case, her personal pronoun uchi can mean a couple other things, so it being written in katakana clarifies her usage. It could arguably also imply she is taking a bit of an argumentative tone--Katsuki's slang is typically written in katakana for both of these reasons!

Katakana denoting regional dialect/accent, nonstandard pronunciation/muddled speech, or confused articulation

Chapters 102, 208, 394, and 2

Ochako gets flustered and defaults to her regional Kansai dialect. Instead of "chigau wa" (Tokyo dialect), she says "chau wa" repeatedly.

Katsuki and Toga both drop the w- sound from a word. Katsuki says "ore a" instead of "ore wa," while Toga says the word "kawaiku" as "ka'aiku" and "kawaii" as "ka'aii." Notice how the katakana which represents the vocal omission/hiccup is actually smaller than the others? That's also a little stylistic detail for communicating this kind of nonstandard speech.

Izuku repeats All Might's words, chikara wo, in a confused daze because he isn't following All Might's point. By removing the kanji especially, this kind of katakana emphasizes him sounding the words out without recognizing the underlying meaning.

Basically, Japanese has some excellent ~vibes-based~ orthography because of how the language is structured!

Of course, you find this kind of thing in English as well--especially in the age of the internet, where people note that "how dare u" reads as tonally distinct from "how dare you." As you develop language fluency, you tend to pick up these things subconsciously more than anything, but it's one of my favorite things to analyze and compare.

These are just a few examples and my own interpretations of them. I'm sure there are many more uses and flavor-nuance I'm not picking up on. Since any given choice can be read a few different ways, context is very important. My examples aren't definitive proof of anything, but it can be fun to keep these kinds of details in mind while reading.

Shueisha and Shonen Jump surely have in-house standards for text, and mangaka must operate within that range. That said, I have indeed seen every one of these examples in other manga as well.

And on the independent side of things, doujinshi and online manga are basically the wild frickin' west--I have seen tons of totally crazy, highly creative ways to take advantage of the unique flexibility found in Japanese, but that's a post for another day.

I will probably write more about this kind of thing in the future when I can pinpoint some more observations, but I hope you all enjoyed the ride. <3

[ishomieokay]

Terms of Endearment in Spanish: A Guide for Fic Writers

I saw someone doing this for terms of enderment in Italian and wanted to share one of my own in Spanish.

If you want Pedro Pascal or I dunno, freakin' Pablo Escobar (yeah there are fics of him, apparently) to call you/your oc/another character a cute nickname, follow this guide!

Gender Neutral

Mi amor - my love

A bit overused tbh but you can never go wrong with the classics!

Amorcito - little love

Mi cielo - my heaven or my sky

Mi alma - my soul

I almost never see this one in fiction but it's soooo sweet. If your character comes from a barrio or is some type of lowbrow gangster/criminal you can also make him say mi arma. It iterally means my weapon but it's also mi alma mispronounced. I would kill to see this in a mafia love story tbh.

Mi bien - my good

I'm not sure how to explain this one but if someone calls you this they are basically saying that you are everything good in their life. It's very old-fashioned, though, so take that into account.

Corazón - heart

Female

Bella - beauty

Linda or bonita - pretty girl

Princesa - princess

Mi reina - my queen

Mami or mamita - mommy

I know that for English speakers this one is weird, but this is actually the most common term of endearment in Latin America. It's a flirtatious way to address a woman, similar to "baby" or "sweetheart".

Consider the character's country when using it! If they are from Spain, they are not likely to use this word. On the other hand, if they are from a Caribbean country the word won't necessarily have a flirtatious meaning to them. There mami is a form of endearment that can be used with girlfriends but also with any female friend or relative.

Mi vida - my life

This one is tecnically gender neutral, but it's mostly used to refer to women.

Male

Papi or papito - Daddy

Unlike it's English equivaleng, to call someone papi in Spanish is not inherently sexual. The same rules that apply to mami apply to papi. It's very common and in some Carribbean countries it can be used in a platonic way with friends and family. Even men may call each other this, although usually in a joking manner.

Mi rey - my king

Guapo - handsome

Mostly used in Spain.

Osito - pookie bear

Mi marido - my husband

This one's a tricky one. You never say it to the man's face. It's what you call him when you are talking about him to other people, even if you are not actually married. It's a way of saying that your relationship with him is serious and it usually has a very possesive connotation.

This is not an extensive list but I hope it helps! I may add other nicknames later.

[mikimakiboo]

Two for the price of one

Small drabble for @ancha-aus 's new au ! Double Noot ! Or as I like to call it, Noot² ! :D

( part 1 by ancha, read it before reading this one maybe- )

Very short but I just wanted to make a little something because I find the concept particularly funny :')

I didn't go too deep into the lore since the story didn't really start yet, I just did the "encounter" with the gang so that's why it is INCREDIBLY short like fr and also because I underestimated how tired I am

Quick summary: Corrupt gets separated from Nightmare (Passive Nightmare, who is still six years old), everyone is confused

Tw: slight mention of miscarriage and pregnancy denial (ik it's weird lmao but dw there is context)

How did this happen ? How did they end up here ? Like this ? How did they end up with a child on their couch when they went out to fight the Star Sanses ?

None of them was speaking, just looking at the little skeleton with lavender eyelights on their couch, the little skeleton looking terrified. They couldn't blame him, who wouldn't be after all ? He appeared.. no, came out of Corrupt, in the middle of a battle field, almost got shot with an arrow, was brought into a new place and was now surrounded by five skeletons: one with four massive tentacles, one with empty sockets and black tar leaking from them, one with a big glowing red eye and a hole in his skull, one you couldn't see his face apart from two piercing mismatched eyelights, and one with a knife almost as big as the child. He had every right to be terrified.

Killer was the one to break the silence first.

- Sooooo... Poptart ?

Corrupt looked up after a few seconds, realizing that Killer was talking to him when he saw everyone's gaze locking on him. His gang, or mates as they called each other, didn't like the name Corrupt, it had a bad connotation, one that meant that he was inherently bad, that there wasn't any good in him, which, to them, was completely false, so as they started dating they also started giving him nicknames, two that came back very often were Poptart and Sweetpie. Corrupt struggled to get used to it, being more accustomed to being insulted, just like the villagers always did. But did they insult him ? They insulted Nightmare, they insulted that little child sitting in front of him, but he wasn't Nightmare, so was he really insulted ? It didn't matter, Dream insulted him too after all, and he wasn't aiming these insults at Nightmare, but at him.

He looked at Killer, waiting for him to say whatever he had in mind.

- Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant ? Or at least tell Horror or Dust cause judging by the kid's eyelights it was one of them who got you pregnant, cause blue and red makes purple so...

Saying that Corrupt was taken aback would have been an understatement, and it didn't help that they were all staring at him, waiting for him to confirm what Killer said. The child, despite still being tensed, was visibly confused as well, but not for the same reason, because he was pretty sure he wasn't anybody's kid, and especially their kid. He would have remembered it.

- I wasn't pregnant.

Corrupt answered after a moment, making Killer frown, doubting the statement.

- Isn't that called a pregnancy denial ? I mean we didn't see you gain weight either so...

Cross asked, a little unsure of how to tackle the subject, he never had to deal with a pregnant monster before, and maybe denials were a sensitive subject, he didn't want to upset his mate by being too straight forward.

Corrupt looked at them, disconcerted.

- I wasn't pregnant, I have never been pregnant, Nightmare was.. I thought.. he was supposed to be dead !

He argued, but he only gained a compassionate look from his mates. Killer put a hand on his shoulder, looking way more serious than he was accustomed to, and he heard Cross mumble Nightmare's name.

- It's okay Poptart, you could have told us you thought you had a miscarriage, we would have supported you, you know..

Horror nodded from behind Killer, and Corrupt knew Dust thought the same even without looking at him.

- For God's sake Killer, I was not pregnant !

He claimed again, wanting to end this nonsense before it got uncontrollable. Killer was about to respond when they heard a sob. They all turned in sync, and saw the child, Nightmare, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't like the yelling, it brought back too many bad memories, memories he would have preferred to forget. Corrupt shrugged to get Killer's hand off of his shoulder and went to the child, kneeling to be on the same level as him, and carefully wiped his tears with his thumb. Nightmare flinched, backing against the couch's case, but he didn't chase Corrupt's hand away.

- Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled.. we're not gonna hurt you, you're safe here, you don't have to be scared..

Corrupt apologized, speaking with a soft tone to try and sooth the little one.

Nightmare looked at the goopy skeleton in front of him, still sniffling, but, somehow, he had a vague sense of déjà vu... something in him told him he had already heard those words, already felt this magic... the four white skeletons were new, that he was sure, but this black one, he was familiar...

- If you weren't pregnant... then where does he come from ?

Dust asked, sitting on the other couch, his legs still being sore from the fight. Horror had joined him, Killer and Cross were still standing.

Corrupt sighed, standing up too but staying next to the child who was now only staring at him, trying to remember where he saw him.

- That's Nightmare, the.. the true guardian of negativity, the one who allowed me to come to life by eating the apples. He started to explain as simply as he could. I.. thought he had died in the process, but turns out he was still there, just.. dormant, and invisible..

- But why show up now ?

Killer asked.

- I.. honestly, I don't know, but he's here now, and it's better he stays here.

Corrupt answered. Nightmare frowned, looking at the adult. He gave him life by eating the apples ? He did remember eating the apples from his tree, he remembered the villagers and the pitchforks, he remembered someone told him to let go when he took his first bite, they told him they would protect him, but he had to give up his mind and body. At that time, Nightmare didn't think much, he was already so scared, he would have done anything for someone to fight for him, to protect him, and when he heard this voice, he knew it was his only way out, and he gave up everything, his vision fading to black as he felt everything become numb. This skeleton had the same voice, and he was emanating negativity, a pure one, the same that emanated from his apples. Was he the voice ? He seemed so big... not as big as the other skeletons, but much bigger than him, especially with those tentacles coming from his back. Nightmare remembered his back hurting a lot more than the rest of his body, was it because of the tentacles ? They seemed to be heavy... he slowly reached out to the one that was the closest to him, putting his hand on the appendage, it was surprisingly soft and a little cold too... he felt the negativity swarm up around his hand, resonating with his own...

Corrupt looked down when he felt the child touch his tentacle. He didn't move it, letting him discover it as he pleased.

- So.. we're just gonna take care of a kid now ? Not that I want to abandon him, I sure don't, but.. are we qualified to do that ?

Cross hesitantly asked, tugging on his jacket. This castle was full of dangerous things for a child, and they weren't the most welcoming monsters either, even if he knew no one would hurt Nightmare, maybe he would be better with someone more qualified, like a Toriel or even an Asgore, monsters who had the parental instinct in their codes...

- We'll have to be..

Horror quietly said, looking at the little child on the couch, he had the same amazement in his eyes when looking at the tentacle that his brother always had before the famine took hold of everything...

Killer and Dust shared a look, not sure that they could raise a child. They raised their brother, but it ended up... pretty badly, they weren't sure they could raise someone properly after that. Cross was different, sure he killed his brother too, but he lived through so many different timelines, so many in which he was a good brother, in which he actually was caring until the end, he could manage to raise a child if he wanted to, if he trusted himself enough to do so, but them ? They would probably need to keep their distance, at least for a moment, at least until the kid started to learn how to fight back.

- I trust you all to look out for him, every one of you.

Corrupt assured, looking at his two mates from whom he had felt a peak of negativity. He knew what they were thinking about, but he also knew they wouldn't be a threat for the child, the simple fact that they felt apprehension from the thought of doing so alone was enough proof for him.

- For now he needs a bath, he said, Nightmare's bones and clothes being stained from the goop, I'll take care of it. Killer, you can go with Cross in Littletale and gather some clothes for him. Be careful not to be seen, we don't want the stars to know about that.

Killer nodded after a brief look to the child, and him and Cross disappeared in a portal, going to complete their mission.

- What about us ?

Dust asked.

- Horror can go cook dinner, with an extra dish, and you go to the infirmary and heal yourself, don't think I didn't notice you couldn't move your arm.

Dust didn't respond, only looking down in shame, he thought he hid it well...

Corrupt sighed, turning his attention to the little skeleton once they were alone. Nightmare had looked up when Cross opened the portal for him and Killer to leave, clenching on the tentacle, and was now staring at Corrupt, alert.

- Who... who are they... ?

The child hesitantly asked in a whisper, his voice quiet as he hadn't used it in five hundred years. He already knew who Corrupt was, he said it, but who were the others ? Were they the surviving villagers ? Would they try to finish the job ? What did they want from him ? Why bring him back with them ? Surely it couldn't be good, it has never been good when someone wanted him to stay somewhere...

- They are my... my partners, they have been working with me for many years, they won't harm you, I trust them. You can trust them, too, and if anything, I'll be here to protect you.

He tried to explain as simply as he could. He felt Nightmare relax a little, even if he could still feel his fear deep inside his soul, the child seemed to believe him, maybe because his feelings were clear and not tainted with mischief or bad intentions, or because Nightmare remembered who he was and knew he could at least rely on him a little.

Corrupt knew Nightmare wouldn't trust them straight from the beginning, but if he at least believed they wouldn't hurt him, then it was a good start, because now that he was here, Corrupt would never let him go out. He needed to protect him, he swore to him that he would protect him from the very moment he came to life, it was his whole purpose.

He wouldn't fail.

[outmakingmoonshine]

I wrote this in the tags on this post by @sydcarmyfan pointing out that Carmy has touched all of Syd’s tattoos and they asked me to make a post about it, it's kinda long so I've put it under a cut.

Like the above post mentions the placement of Carmy's hands on Syd's back in 2x03 puts them directly over the broken wishbone, the three of swords tattoos and the anchovies

If the hand placement is deliberate then it specifically places his hands directly over the tattoos that relate to him/their love story the most. The broken wishbone, he’s fulfilling her wish/dream by making her his partner in The Bear and kinda breaking it by being “shitty”, there's something in there about "wishing on a star" too... and the three of swords which the SydCarmy meta writers have written about much better than I can. (And also the anchovies tattoo but I have no idea what that's related to yet, although Carmy does have a fish tattoo so that's how it relates until I know more lol.) This touch on these two specific tattoos happens in a scene which is arguably the start of him breaking her heart and her wish…it's the first time she sees him after he ditched her at Kasama and after he tried to avoid Claire but caved to her hounding him on the phone so whether Syd's aware of Claire yet or not, the wall has already been torn down and the ball's already in motion. It’s also when he starts to ditch working with her on their joint wish/dream, kinda breaking her "wish" of working on it with him.

It's worth noting that the point of a wishbone is to break it so this might not have a negative connotation and could just relate to him being so focused on getting that wish for her while...on the other hand..literally..he’s breaking her heart while trying.

@sydcarmyfan pointed out when Carmy placed his hand on Syd's back in 2x02 he also touched her other two tattoos, which was during a scene/montage when they were both more comfortable and relaxed around each other, being more open about their personal lives, history, family etc, and those other two tattoos seem more related to Syd’s family life/history. The car with mom on the license plate and the c’est pas grave tattoos. So the themes of the tattoos he touched in each scene also relate to the themes of their dynamic within that scene.

The car is obviously about her mum and maybe something to do with driving to Sheridan Road? Idk yet but my theory on the c’est pas grave tattoo (which translates to “it’s not serious/it doesn’t matter/nevermind”) is it relates to whatever reason Syd feels like she needs to hide or ignore her feelings like they “don’t matter” or they’re “not serious” to anyone else but her…or maybe she doesn’t even allow herself to take them seriously and that’s why she just swallows her disappointment and internalizes and suppresses her feelings all the time.

I don’t think Syd’s ever really been emotionally nurtured because the version we see now of Emmanuel as the devoted father telling stories of her mother lovingly doesn’t really add up. If he was that loving devoted father making her smile and laugh so animatedly while she was growing up why is she so emotionally avoidant now? There’s a weird distance in their relationship like she has a huge wall up when she's around him, even more than around when she's around Carmy or Marcus tbh. He obviously knows her better, he raised her so he can see through her and confront her about more things but she still never really lets him in and he never seems willing to push enough. I get the feeling he wasn’t really there for her as a kid and he learnt to be a decent father too late. I also get a vibe from him like he feels kinda guilty about something / has regrets / kinda feels like he failed her. Idk he seems to walk on eggshells around her imo like he's very careful what he says to her and how he words things with her. He definitely feels the distance between them and it bothers him more than it bothers her. You can tell he tries to connect with her, but she’s always the one who’s resistant.

My theory is the distance is because he became an alcoholic after her mom died because he couldn't cope with losing her. Maybe Syd spent most of her childhood feeling neglected and alone, like no one cared about her and what she wanted or needed so she learnt to suppress her emotions and now she just keeps following that pattern because she doesn’t know any different. By the time Emmanuel got sober it was too late, she'd already learned this toxic way to cope with all the feelings of loneliness and rejection. And she's still so wounded by his neglect that she only gives him a surface level relationship now.

She’s also lowkey disrespectful to him in some ways or she just lacks the respect you would expect her character to have for a father who is clearly trying and we know Syd isn’t a disrespectful person. Definitely not to be disrespecting her only living parent and kinda dismissing him the way she does for no reason. So I think there’s something important we don’t know about their dynamic.

I also think this could be why she cut Carmy off from asking about her dad in 2x02 because he already said something like “at least he was there for you” and I don't think she wanted to explain that maybe he actually wasn’t.

There’s a reason that the main point of Emmanuel's only scene and dialogue inside the restaurant in 2x10 was to reveal that he doesn't drink and I don't think it was just to highlight the contrast between him and Donna because it would've made more sense to have donna show up as a drunken mess outside The Bear if they wanted that contrast so badly but she seemed sober when talking to Pete.

(Here's where I insert my headcanon that Emmanuel & Donna have already met at al-anon meetings and he’s been integral in her recovery so far, probably not even realizing they are future in-laws.)

I think Carmy's gonna find out Syd had a very similar childhood to him but she was actually going through it all alone. While he FELT alone she really WAS alone dealing with an alcoholic parent with no siblings to understand or to just share the emotional and psychological burden with and all he's been doing is dumping pressure on her that she didn’t really ask for...but she wont tell him directly that she crumbles under pressure, she tried to tell him a story to let him know she crumbles under pressure with the Sheridan story in 1x05 and again with the pasta/Ragù story in 2x02 but he consistently keeps leaving her alone to fend for herself with a major workload when the whole reason she came to The Beef was to work WITH him and spend time WITH him. That’s what Syd values, that’s what makes her happy. Quality time and food are her love languages, these things are the way to her heart and this anxious white man is bending over backwards trying to make her happy BY AVOIDING HER TO WORK ON HIMSELF SO HE CAN BE ENOUGH TO MAKE HER HAPPY😭😭 He's trying but he's so clueless and Syd won't give him a clue!

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I am so serious when I say Greig Fraser deserves an Oscar for lighting this set alone.

It may look simple because the earth does it every day, but creating that sunrise effect across a whole (fake) horizon, making it look both realistic and bright enough to match the natural light from the real desert locations that appear in the movie, was a huge technical challenge that required an enormous lighting rig.

But the final product is so stunning because now you have this 360-degree set where you can have the characters fully lit when they're facing the sun, you can have very stark silhouettes if you put the characters between the camera and the sun, you can have these almost-silhouettes where the characters are in shadow but there's still enough light to see faces and details, you can get these highlights and halos and chiaroscuro effects changing based on how much the characters' faces are turned toward or away from the sun.

And of course you have the symbolism of the duel happening at sunrise when the duel with Jamis also happened at sunrise; something something the dawning of a new era; sunrise often has a positive, hopeful connotation but sunrise on Arrakis is deadly and here the new power that's rising will set the Known Universe on fire; sun and shadow and the eclipse imagery that appears throughout the movie; the symbolism of whether characters are fully lit or shadowed or in between; turning toward the light or away from it, etc. etc. Also it just looks really fuckin pretty.

[bonefall]

Is Sandgorse still abusive in BB? If so does he still save Sparrow? Idk I think it'd be a neat thing for Talltail to brood on and move past once realizing the truth. Like just because your abuser did a "Good Thing tm" doesn't mean you have to forgive them or that all of a sudden it excuses their past a tion towards you.

Or did you remove this plot beat entirely? If so I don't blame you :P

Weird that Tumblr search isn't giving me all the stuff I tagged :/ hopefully after finals are done I can compile a 1st draft/The Story So Far for the rework of Tallstar’s Revenge

It's now called TALLSTAR’S COLLAPSE. It is actually a story I am rewriting with tragedy in mind. It's about Talltail fleeing WindClan with his starcrossed lover, Sparrow, only to eventually be drawn back to it where he becomes a perpetuator of all the things that made him leave.

To answer your question; Yes, and. Sandgorse is abusive and there's a LOT of nuance to this situation. I'm not sure if he still saves "Sparrow" though because I have waaaay more of a point in mind with Tallstar’s tumultuous relationship to him.

Summary of changes,

Tallstar's Collapse

Sparrow is the Clanmew name Jake takes when his group interacts with WindClan. His first language is actually a dialect of Townmew!

(Also Firestar has no known father in BB)

His group is nomadic. They go from place to place trading goods. I need a name for both them and their cultural "cluster" but in my head, Jake's family is the Algernauts because Algernon is the current leader

It's important the Algernauts are extremely endearing because leaving them is VERY painful

(and something i want to frame as the wrong choice for tallstar, emotionally)

WindClan is in a very sensitive period of its history. Before Tallstar was born, Heatherstar began the Mothermouth Moorland War, to take a very large parcel of land from ShadowClan. A good 1/5th of it.

Naturally this is a huge project and incredibly ambitious. Sacrifices Must Be Made

The sacrifice she has chosen to make is the death of tunneling. Because she's smothering it.

Tunneling is PEACEFUL, defensive at best. You can't dig them in a floodplain, they would be useless for holding the Mothermouth Moorland territory

Tallkit is born into a terrible position. Son of the head tunneler, mother in a terrible depression, and Heatherstar trying to pry a wedge between the "future" and the "past"

Im also planning to change his name. He was born Slowworm-Kit, which has a connotation of cleverness in Clanmew. To bully him, Shrewpaw calls him Wormtail, because Slowworms drop their tails if pulled. It means "you will get trapped in a cave-in, and when they pull your tail, it'll fall off"

But it doesn't translate well into English... so I'm not sure what his Heatherstar-given warrior name would be. Wormwing or Wormleap maybe, like he "defied fate" to become a wonderful moor-runner...

Or maybe the prefix is Drop? Droptail as the mean bully name and Dropflight as the warrior name...

Anyway, when he returns, Heatherstar welcomes back the extra claws and honors the lesson he learned with "Talltale." In Clanmew this is "Story-travelled," his leader name meaning "Tale-star."

Anyway. Back to the cat drama

Talltail (name pending) is in a tight spot. I kind of want to show everyone being a victim except Heatherstar herself, who has all the power in this situation.

Not that it excuses anyone

Sandgorse is watching something he loves dying, an ancient tradition passed down for generations. He is trying to force his son into a position he shouldn't HAVE to occupy, but his child is the one thing he might have any control over

(Until Tall breaks it ofc)

Tallpaw was just a kid. He needed to take out his bullying and the stress on something, and that was usually his mother and the concept of tunneling

Palebird has been completely neglected by her mate as he focuses on the person he WANTS his kid to be. She NAMED a Fading Kit, a serious social taboo, and even the support of the nursery and Woolytail can't pull her out before Tall's kithood is over

Heatherstar is using Tallpaw as a political pawn and Tallpaw is too young and hurt to realize it. He was given to her sister, Dawnstripe, and endlessly praised for his skill and talent in a time where he NEEDED positive feedback

Which is making his relationships with his parents worse

All the while, there's VIOLENCE. Regular raids and counterstrikes. Cats die and get injured, and it only escalates as Tall gets older and Cedarstar is reaching the end of his lives, hoping to end the conflict before then

And in all this chaos and uncertainty, there comes Sparrow.

Just a trader and an honored guest, there's been lots of these nomadic visitors since the time of Windstar herself, but they've become quite rare.

When Sandgorse dies suddenly in that collapse (TITLE DROP) Talltail has the push he finally needs. It's too much. He can't process this

Sparrow begs him to leave with them, they don't even need to confront anyone, just come!

IF IT SUCKS HIT DA BRICKS

I have tons of really nice little things planned for this part of the story. It's several chapters of Talltail being free.

He engages in the funeral rites of Wee Hen, asking if he may sit vigil for her. His new family is honored to allow it, Reena even tries to do it too and falls asleep

(Little sister energy)

They meet all sorts of people and go to many places. Talltail learns that the world is vast, and there's an endless amount of knowledge out here.

It all starts crashing down when him and Jake find a litter of abandoned kittens, and become parents.

They're a few moons old.. around the same age as his halfsibs back home.

It starts bringing back memories. He wonders how they're doing. If they made a nice grave for Sandgorse...

The sudden longing for his own mother strikes him like lightning.

For the first time in eons, he feels GUILT over leaving. He thought it was over-- he's living his own life now!

But what if they're hurt? What if there was a battle and he couldn't help? What if his mentor died and he didn't even know?

What kind of a horrible son doesn't even say goodbye?

The problems that made him leave seem so small now, and the homesickness is like acid leaking from his stomach, dissolving his guts and leaving him hollow

He's raising kits who will never know what it means to earn a title, or have a permanent home, or--

(Any of the other things he should have learned don't have meaning outside of clan culture. Things they wouldn't miss.)

He cherishes the memories he makes here, raising children with his mate, but something turns inside of Talltail. Like the groaning ache of a hundred stones on top of a decaying mineshaft

The REAL collapse is this. An existential crisis Talltail can't escape from.

And eventually, it comes tumbling down with one last, horrible nightmare.

In his dream, he came home only to find the sandy camp abandoned, the dens decrepit, full of musty scent and cobwebs.

Sandgorse was there. And they talked.

His dad was gruff as always, disappointed. But he didn't say anything the real Sandgorse would say.

The nightmare said, "You really did turn out like me. We both left your mother when she needed us. Turned our backs on our leader. And now we're both dead to WindClan."

Tall wakes up crying. Jake is there to comfort him, but the conversation they have is sad.

Jake tries to tell him that's all not true, and even if it WAS his dad, his dad sucked and would only say that to hurt him!

But... Tall can't believe it. Jake's right but also wrong. He IS all those horrible things.

And...... how can jake ever Understand? He does not know the Bonds of a Clan cat

(thought terminating cliche. Outsiders Cant Understand Our Bonds.)

He stays a few more days, but that nightmare was the end. And everyone sees the change.

The kits are apprentice-aged. He stayed until they would be old enough to keep up with the Algernauts.

And he says goodbye. He won't ever leave without saying goodbye ever again.

Jake says it doesn't have to be goodbye, he'll always love him, and they can visit! They can see each other again!

And Tall says yes. That this isn't the end. It's... see you later, my love.

(...but they both know how violent it's getting between Wind and Shadow. It isn't safe to visit.)

It is the end. But neither can admit it.

But after Tall is a fair distance away, one of his kits tackles him.

POSSIBLY Post-Tallstar's Collapse

Not sure if I'd put these in a novella or still make it part of it, but these are all directly related to the fallout of Tallstar's Collapse

Most likely is that there would be overlap between this and Brokenstar's Cataclysm, so the same events would be seen in different perspectives.

The kit's name is Fly. Tall has to wait for him to catch his breath and stop crying before they can talk.

Fly already lost parents before. He says he knows he can't make his dads stay together, "But PLEASE, papa, let me choose where I go this time!"

How could he say no? How could he send his son away after a plea like that?

He told him it would be hard. That he would be trained. That there would be dangerous fights.

Fly didn't care, he said he could be strong. He could do anything he needed to.

So... Tall took him to WindClan, where he became Flypaw. He became the warrior he promised he would be.

And Tall didn't notice how much the kid was changing until it was too late. Flytail took to it as if he was Clanborn-- but had to work twice as hard, fight thrice as viciously.

Though Talltail was graced with an Honor Title and open arms, he'd adopted his greatest rival.

Fly and Tall started competing for deputyship as soon as they finished training apprentices; Heatherstar had a fondness for the two of them.

In the end, Talltail won the spot by springing into action and saving Heatherstar's young nephew, a little golden tabby, from an adder.

Flytail continued as one of the more aggressive warriors in the Clan, surviving increasingly violent and bitter battles, until it came to a head in Heatherstar's Last Stand.

Her final battle as an old leader was a gruesome, definitive curbstomp in the last strategic point ShadowClan held above Carrionplace.

One of the losses was Lizardstripe-- neck snapped in Flytail's jaws.

Runningnose, and by extension, the oak-tree to his long-shadow, Brokentail, remembered this. Especially when Runningnose's father Mudfoot collapsed later that year.

As Talltail took leadership from the dying Heatherstar, a familiar regretful guilt wormed into his belly.

His son Flytail stood with a bloody mouth, eyes wet with sorrow, looking down at the leader Talltail once loved almost as much. Appreciating her sacrifice.

(secretly he didnt choose Deadfoot as his deputy just for his honor title or the battle move he invented... he chose him because there was a shocked, sorrowful look in his eyes at the fallen shadowclan cat. Sympathy seems more honorable in this moment.)

Tallstar is a wise leader... but his fatal flaw is naivety. How could he think he'd bring his son into WindClan, and not see the boy grow into a ferocious Warrior?

And naivety is what he displayed when he offered Raggedstar a peace deal. WindClan would keep the land, but they would pay a small tax of rabbits over the winter.

It was unprecedented. It was merciful. It was stupid.

When the winter was over, what would stop them from pushing further south?

Would they trade back the frogs and the flax, come summer?

On the blood and bones of so many warriors? As if giving up was ever an option?

Brokentail killed his father to prevent him from taking the deal, and reawakened Ripplestar's War Tactics.

BURN the peat. KILL the prey. OFFENSE is defense. A dead warrior is 10 less claws. A dead apprentice is 1 less warrior.

Stolen kittens are 1 more warrior on your own side.

Tallstar paid the ultimate price for letting Flytail follow him home that day. On the night of the massacre, Flytail went down fighting alongside a mate and a daughter. Dogpiled by Tangleburr and her squadron in revenge for Lizardstripe and Mudfoot.

Tallstar's granddaughter Stoneclaw, made a warrior and sitting for her vigil on that night, was the sole survivor of the little family.

The event stopped her from speaking again, like she's still sitting vigil.

Tallstar is a character who almost broke free of the control of the Clans. For a brief moment of his life, he was free.

He thought maybe he could change things a little, protect his Clanmates from the battles by being part of them, have the Mothermouth Moorland and protect the peace at the same time. But you CAN'T.

You can't fix broken systems without fundamentally changing them. He thought he could be a nice warlord and that would work on the Clan whose territory he had inherited. Power acts through people just as much as they act through power.

And that's Tallstar. He who travels the world, yet is never able to go far enough. Always falling just a little short of the point, believing that love and mercy is enough while blissfully ignorant of the pressures of pride and power.

Into this role, as a successor to this leader, Onestar is unwillingly thrust.

[joys-of-everyday]

SJ and the Pitfalls of Toxic Masculinity

Liking women wasn’t shameful in the least, but treating a woman as your savior, shrinking into her embrace in search of self-confidence—Shen Qingqiu needed no one to tell him how incredibly shameful that was. So he would rather die than tell anyone, particularly not Yue Qingyuan.

- Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu Extra

Hot take: og!SQQ had toxic ideas about masculinity, and it ruined him.

SVSSS is all about the ✨Toxic Masculinity✨ but this seems to be more associated with SY than SJ??? So yeah, lets talk about SJ (my poor meow meow).

There’s actually some subtlety here, because talking about SJ and masculinity naturally involves an interplay between historical and modern views on masculinity in China, which is something that has developed over time and has influences from other cultures (e.g. the west and our views on masculinity). (Interesting thing if you haven't already come across it) I am… not qualified to read the subtleties here.

To note, SJ is coded as masculine… sort of. He’s the head of the scholarly peak, a master of the Four Arts, which is one facet of ideal masculinity in traditional Chinese values. (Fluttering a fan around was very gentleman-like. Although also, expressing your emotions through poetry and copious amounts of tears was very masculine back in the day. 'Traditional masculinity' has and always will be an elusive ideal.) But I get the feeling nowadays ‘scholarly’ has more feminine connotations than ‘martial’, albeit a slightly weaker one than in the west. Also, on the topic of toxic masculinity, certain groups of people Who Shall Not Be Named would like you to believe that Real Chinese Men are stoic warriors and ‘gayness is a western thing’ (my rage is unreal but we will not talk about that).

Anyway, broad strokes, broad strokes.

Arrogance and Insecurity

A big part of toxic masculinity is a need for social recognition, to be the ‘alpha male’ (not an ABO pun and on a side note I literally cannot take anyone talking about alpha males seriously now, for many reasons, but this is the funniest).

SJ is obsessed with his cultivation, but more pertinently, he is obsessed with his reputation. He demonstrates this in a few ways. Firstly, he works his ass off, which is not bad in itself, but he does this to the extent it is detrimental to his health (that grindset lol). Secondly, he projects a certain image with his actions and mannerisms: reading in order to seem intelligent, looking down at people to seem superior etc. Thirdly, he responds to any perceived slights of his ability with violence. (Fighting with LQG is an example, but also drawing a sword on SQH when he pointed out that he was reading an upside-down book.)

Now interestingly, the unanimous vibe that Cang Qiong seem to get from SQQ is that he is ‘arrogant’. When in truth, all of this is compensating for his insecurity.

Shen Qingqiu was overly suspicious, always feeling as if everyone was talking behind his back about how he was still incapable of forming a core, didn’t accept his position, wanted to sabotage him in secret, and so on and so forth.

- Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu Extra

Sadly, SJ is justified in being afraid of other people’s opinion. His comfort and security rely entirely on his status, which in turn rely on other people’s opinion of his competence. Of course he wants to get to the top – he’s been under other people’s power before, and suffered terribly as a result. Why should he not desperately defend what he has worked so hard for? Yet ultimately it works against him, because when he’s in serious trouble, he hasn’t been able to build the human connections he needs to get help.

The problem is with the system. The idea that having strength allows you to do whatever you want hurts not only the people regarded as inferior, but also creates a collective sense of anxiety for those who find themselves ‘at the top’. Anyone can be kicked down and treated like scum. Everyone is afraid.

Dominance and Bullying

The phrase ‘toxic masculinity is fragile’ quite often, but to elaborate, these kinds of rigid ideas of masculinity are by nature constantly under threat. Because any crack in the perfect shell is regarded as failure, it requires constant, aggressive maintenance, which takes the form of bullying the weak in order to elevate oneself.

SJ’s treatment of LBH is complicated, but here I want to draw attention to a different character – Ming Fan.

SQQ (SY) would have you know that MF is not a bad kid, other than the fact he’s a huge bully to LBH. And in part that comes from jealousy of NYY’s crush on him, but what allows it to happen is the way SJ runs the peak. It's interesting to note that so much of SJ's bullying of LBH happens through MF, whether it be giving him the faulty cultivation manual, giving him chores or physically assaulting him. In doing this, SJ creates a system that firmly establishes himself at the top, likely in order to give himself some semblance of security.

But ironically, this is the very system that SJ has suffered under his entire life, recreated to it's extreme on the peak that he controls. When he was completely under the power of others (QJL, LBH) he suffered. When other people were under his power, he inflicted suffering. He encouraged other people to do the same. Again, the whole thing is a scam! He is putting all of his energy into things that aren't helping him, things that ultimately bring him down.

Real Men Don’t Cry – the Dangers of Emotional Repression

SJ has many, very justifiable reasons in life to be upset and angry. The things he went through are both terrible and extremely unfair. Being angry at everything is not a healthy outlet for these feelings, but he hasn’t exactly been taught an alternative either. On the streets, tears would have gotten him absolutely nothing. Anger at least gave him energy to fight back.

And this destroys him. He is angry at the fact he had no one in his life who loved him, his talents were wasted because of QJL/WYZ, nobody takes his abilities seriously… and with no healthy way of expressing this, he goes onto bully LBH. LBH then returns to destroy him, literally. More subtly, he is unable to express his fear and anxiety in healthy ways, so acts standoff-ish and aggressive to his those around him. As his relationship with them deteriorates, his fear and anxiety increases. Feedback loops.

SJ puts on a mask of anger and stoicism to the point that everyone around him (including himself) is convinced that he is unrepentant and evil. Suppresses and suppresses until it breaks him, until he has nothing – not his comfort, nor status, nor the one that he truly cared for:

He had single-handedly facilitated Luo Binghe’s today, and now who had single-handedly created this outcome for him? Yue Qingyuan was never supposed to have an end like this. In order to come to a decades-late appointment, to fulfill a completely useless promise. A broken sword and a dead man. It shouldn’t be like this.

A Note on Ambivalent Sexism

It’s funny because I think there’s a fandom vibe that SJ was the secret feminist of SVSSS. Don’t get me wrong, I love this in fanfics. Badass feminist SJ all the way. But my honest opinion is that I don’t think that was the case.

More explicitly, I don’t think SJ took women seriously. NYY, for example. Certainly, SJ valued NYY. But the expression of this care involved doting on her, hiding his treatment of LBH from her, and not particularly pushing her to grow. And PIDW!NYY wasn’t implied to be the most mature of the lot. Okay, while we don’t know a lot about PIDW!NYY (narrator unreliable), it’s probably safe to say some distance from SJ helped her a lot.

Another point – the Qiu massacre. SJ killed the men, but not the women. And while this says more about his distaste for men, it also indicates (possibly - I will float this idea but I won't die on this hill) that he straight up doesn’t see any woman as an enemy, or capable of being a threat. Which is possibly a natural conclusion he’s drawn from his experiences (QHT was not very perceptive, or very threatening) but also inaccurate as a worldview.

And his attitude towards the women he sees as saviours? Has the same vibe as ‘it’s so embarrassing to be protected by a girl’.

Okay, so being doted on and not being killed are positives compared to being abused or murdered, but this kind of attitude is the opposite side of the same coin to ‘women are incompetent and inferior’. And when it comes to raising kids, not allowing them to grow can be extremely harmful as well. See e.g. Ambivalent sexism.

Although I do want to mention that I do not think SJ was like… actively misogynistic. I think he genuinely liked women more than men. The point is you can be sexist without realising it.

Conclusions

To conclude, SJ had ideas of success and self-worth associated with toxic masculinity which were instrumental in his downfall.

Masculinity doesn’t have to be toxic. While the Cang Qiong family aren’t exactly the healthiest bunch, YQY’s calm and patient leadership, LQG’s steadfast loyalty, LBH’s ability to cry like a maiden and still be the strongest… these are all traditionally masculine traits that can be very positive. These are also people who can have feminine traits and explore their gender identity without being prissy or weak.

It's the great tragedy of SJ that he had many positive characteristics. He was talented, intelligent, articulate, perceptive, loyal, and caring… under the right circumstances, he could have grown into a great person.

And maybe he still had that chance, right until the end.

[insomniac-101]

So something that I often don't see people discuss is the manner in which the 9th and the 10th doctor's seasons are so intrinsically connected that it is almost impossible to understand a lot of key character arcs if you choose to skip it upon rewatch. The reason why I say this is because the moment you reach season 2, 10 is essentially the product of the development 9 achieves at the end of his season. To skip him, would mean that you also miss context as to the reason why Rose is so important and in turn, not understand the reason why their bond in particular is such a big part of the plot during the 10th's era.

Now bare with me, because I'm about to go off a bit lmao.

The first season of nuwho not only serves as an introduction to many of the key characters we see later on, such as: the Doctor, Rose, Jackie, Jack, Mickey, Harriet jones, etc. but it also serves as an introduction for the concept of the series as a whole. Prior to this, doctor who as a franchise had a reputation of being a geeky sci-fi show with no real wide spread appeal. Remaining as a niche interest to many, up until the reboot returned and reintroduced the show to a newer audience.

This is important to note because this is one of the main reasons why we see such a huge emphasis placed on the companions' lives in the reboot. Because RTD meant to expand the world of Doctor who and its audience, and by doing so, he strived to try a multitude of new plots that were otherwise never explored previously. This is why the romantic plotline of his season is so crucial to the story itself because he means to explore a facet of humanity not previously seen with the Doctor as a character. RTD essentially built this plot line from scratch, as the only other attempt at exploring such an angle was received negatively (The 8th Doctor's movie). So there's a degree of leniency that I give his writing In particular because like I said prior, he had no prior reference for exploring humanity to the degree in which the new series does.

The ninth doctor, when we meet him, is essentially a recluse. He is in a state of stagnation, implied to have been alone for some time after the war and it gives off the impression that he's no longer accustomed to being around people. He's often direct, rudely so and very standoffish to anyone that isn't immediately measuring up to his standards. This isn't to say that he isn't charming in his own way. He's sarcastic and when he tries, he can actually be very good with people. But the war still weighs heavily on his conscious and so, he views the world through the eyes of a soldier. Prioritizing the act of surviving rather than slowing down and actually taking the time to live life.

I mean, the man essentially meets Rose while blowing up her workplace and if that isn't concerning on its own merit than I don't know what is lmao.

A scene that sticks out to me the most about him in particular is when he looks at himself in the mirror for the first time. He notes that he has big ears, and from the manner in which he says it the implication that he perhaps has not seen himself in a long time is not lost to us. This coupled with the knowledge that he had indeed been seen traveling prior to meeting Rose, gives the phrase a more dark connotation that makes sense for his character.

I like to think that this indicates that the guilt of what he did to stop the war weighs so heavily on him that he could never bring himself to face his reflection. Because truly, to have gone so long without seeing yourself, not even in the reflection of a window or other surface is not something that is easy to do. Rather, it is something you have to go out of your way to do. Also it's important to note that his appearance is in fact a reflection of that weariness he feels. With his body, being older outwardly (appearing 40ish ) and his features being very sharp and serious. Even his hair is pretty short, much like how a soldier would keep it as a means of not wasting any time on worrying on something so inconvenient. His preference for darker colors and his constant outfit is also very noticably practical, not at all decorative like his prior bodies. This is purposeful, because it is what sets him apart from prior versions of the character and an easy way to visually see his most prominent traits.

Now with that out of the way, now I can discuss how 9 changes and what his relationship to Rose is like, so that one can better understand why Rose is such an important part of the Doctor's character.

From the moment the two meet, you can see he harbors an immediate curiosity towards her. Here they are, trapped in an elevator being attacked by a group of living mannequins and yet, Rose is almost unaffected.

That isn't to say she isn't afraid, she is, but her fear doesn't stop her from asking questions and demanding explanations. She doesn't shy away from him, rather she confronts him head on and even shows a level of concern for other people while she is actively the one in danger. It is enough to prompt him to ask her name, but not enough to involve her. Preferring to instead keep his distance.

It is not until another chance meeting that he gradually lets her in, allowing her to humor him with her curiosity and we see once more that he is in fact very good at socializing, but only with certain people. The reason why I stress this is because he often outwardly puts this front of coldness towards those that don't interest him. Rose was able to look past this front, and seems to look past his rather cold attitude towards other humans. He often stresses how inept they are, going on tangents about how they're nothing more than apes but she ignores it and tries to get at the core of the issue. That's why they mesh so well, because she is able to separate the fluff he inserts into his answers and take it for what it is. That isn't to say she's a doormat, she just knows when to pick her battles.

"do you know like we were saying? About the world revolving. It's like you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it cause everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning 1,000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at 67,00 miles an hour. And I can feel it, we're falling through space you and me. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go.. that's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler"

He is describing the manner in which he views the world. Unlike how a kid is unable to comprehend the vast truths of how the world functions and remains naive of it for a period of time, he is a man that was never given that chance to be unaware of how it functions to an infuriating degree. He sees the world for how it is, dark, unforgiving and so direct. Everything is calculated so precisely and he can't even begin to comprehend why anyone would see the good in it as it's just that, a planet.

But that's why he finds humans so interesting. There's a part of him that holds onto that hope that it is something more, that perhaps he is missing out on a purpose behind all the darkness. That's why he is running amongst them, to find a reason behind their way of thinking. To experience the world through the eyes of the hypothetical child, rather than the adult who breaks the illusion.

Not only that, but this conversation also let's us in on how touch-deprived he is.

For it is in a moment of vulnerability that he allows himself to reach out and touch Rose physically. Grabbing her hand for emphasis on how heavy this revelation burdens him. It's a cry for help in a sense, because he has reached the point where he has metaphorically "let go". Dropping her hand, to show that he is losing that last part of him that clings to that hope of finding something that will allow him to question his view of the world. He is miserable and lonely, because when you view the world through such a cynical lens it becomes all the more apparent that life is so lonely. If everything is doomed, then why go out of your way to care?

You see this in the way he remains unaffected by the reveal of Mickey's "death." Having grown so used to it, that he finds it off-putting to see that Rose is freaking out as a result. It happens everyday to people far more important so why give it any real weight if it's inevitable? Why ascribe a meaning to something that just is?

Remember when I mentioned it is implied that he was traveling on his own for a while? What places did he visit? The Titanic, the Kennedy assassination, the explosion of Karakota. These are all fixed points of time that are associated with absolute tragedies. But all the same, they're key points in life where the world remained cruel without reason. Thus fueling his very uncharitable view of the world and how it functions.

That's where Rose becomes key to his overall development. As a human, she inevitably views the world through the lens of that child. She doesn't know the ins and outs of the universe's processes, yet she continues living without ever really seeking to understand it better. It doesn't matter to her that the people around her aren't necessarily important in the grand scheme of things, they matter because they just do. She is capable of loving others and affording care to others simply because she wants to, not because she has to. She is confronted with alien threats the moment he walks into her life, and yet her view of the world and her existence doesn't really change. She does not harden rather, she curiously grows from it. Growing wiser and more aware rather than crippling under the discovery of another threat in the universe.

She is clinging to the understanding of the tiny little world she lives in, yet her hold doesn't relent. For she is not falling, to imply so would mean that he was right in his assertion that our existence is doomed. No, instead in the place of any real meaningful explanation about the world's existence is something so innately human: hope. An illogical thing to always maintain, yet she always seems to have it.

After all, it is such a confusing notion when you think about it. We have no reason to believe that things will improve, and that we'll be met with good outcomes. It's so metaphorical, not at all tethered to something practical like numbers and data and yet, even when the odds are against us, somehow we hope things will improve.

It's that aspect that he wishes he understood.

(i would love to dedicate a whole analysis on Rose in a separate post so for now, I will only focus on the Doctor and her role in his life)

This is why he takes her to the ends of the universe on their first trip. He's testing her, seeing if this will be enough to prompt a reaction out of her that fits his narrative. He also seeks companionship, to have someone understand what it's like to see your planet burn and to have yourself remain as the sole survivor. In a way, to justify the validity of his misery and guilt. She's affected of course. It's in that moment that she realizes, the scope of the universe and is faced with the undeniable truth that everything does end. It shakes her and you can see her sort of doubt her view of the world. No longer able to remain blissfully unaware of the big picture when it is quite literally in your face.

But something she has, and he lacks is a foundation. Rose still has her mother, someone to return to at the end of the day. She can be comforted by the people in her life while his inability to let anyone in, essentially stunts him.

When given the choice to spare Cassandra, he refuses. He lacks the capability of seeing past the evil, and assumes that there is no good in her. No second chances. An act that catches Rose off guard, who in spite of personally recieving the brunt of Cassandra's cruelty, she asks the Doctor to save her.

Eventually he takes her back to her time. He entrusts her with more information regarding the war and the death of his people. People pass them by, oblivious to his presence as he is wallowing in the sorrow of remembering. It's a metaphor, of sorts. While our two protagonists are brutally aware of the doom that awaits them in the future and they remain stuck in place reminiscing, the world around them continues moving on.

He is giving her every reason to run, to leave him behind and save the very last shreds of naivety she has.

But when he asks her if she wants to leave, to no longer accompany him on his adventures, she refuses. Because his confession puts it all into perspective.

He is hurting.

He desperately craves company: to have a hand to hold onto and keep him grounded as the world falls apart. Yet more than ever is she aware of her limitations; that she cannot undo what has been done to him.

And so, she does what she knows she can do to help ease the pain even if it is very miniscule. Tells him that he has her, and that his pain is one she can now share and understand. She offers him chips, not because it will magically make it all disappear but because it will distract him from the pain of remembering. It's also her favorite food, so no doubt she is trying to share that sense of comfort it brings her with him.

Such a human thing to not focus on fixing the bigger problem and instead focus on what can be changed in the current moment. They still have time until the end of the earth, so why spend more time dwelling on it?

That is her response to his question.

I believe the episode the unquiet dead is where he realizes the extent of his feelings for her. There they are about to be pulled apart by a horde of zombies yet Rose doesn't regret coming along. She tells him so and in the end all she asks of him is that they fight for their lives. Still clinging on to that bit of hope that they could get out of this, even if it is misplaced. To stay together in spite of their inevitable deaths is all she asks for, and he in turn tells her how glad he is to have met her. Assuring her that he is glad it's her that is there by his side as he clings to her hand like a life line. Somehow, having someone there to hold made the inevitable more bearable.

For a single moment, he remembers what it is like to not regret something.

But no, they live! Again and again, even if logically it makes no sense given how the world works. All the while, he meets more and more extraordinary people. With Rose, always reaching out to others as they embark on every new adventure. Thus indirectly providing him insight on the manner in which normal people are capable of doing brave and incredible acts even if it is at the cost of their own life. Their hope in a future for the people they hold dear, motivating them to put everything on the line if it meant that there was even a slight chance everything would be alright.

There's good in people, even those that outwardly appear to not be worth the trouble. And it's that potential he latches on to, and why he tries so hard to lend a hand when he can.

This is actually where the trend of the importance of knowing people's names starts, because the companions often serve as his connection to the humans around them. They ground his perspective, reminding him to not focus so much on the grand scheme of things that he forgets to look at the smaller details. This is why in the episode Midnight it is so tragic that no one asked for the stewardes' name. For up until that point, he knew better than to not at the very least humanize her (by asking for something as basic as her name, her story, etc.) rather than see her as pawn in the midst of the problem. That is the principal that Rose instilled in him and yet when left alone, he finds himself forgetting to do so. Thus, why he takes the revelation to heart.

But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

It is when he is confronting the last of the daleks that he has to reconsider his beliefs of how the world had up till now functioned. He has been proven time and time again that the world is not always such a negative place, and that there is at times tranquility that could be found in the midst of the chaos. That the universe and it's inhabitants are capable of doing both good and evil.

So why is he so quick to want to kill the last of the daleks and cling to that cynicism he was beginning to reconsider? Here he is faced with a being who understands his pain, but in the form of his biggest enemy. It is not innocent, having been at one time capable of monstrous acts that caused mass suffering but...neither is he. There it stands defenseless and unarmed and yet he is the one threatening it with a weapon, just like Rose reasons. She is alive and unharmed, standing next to a dalek yet the active threat is not the dalek, it's him. He is tempted to kill it because his first instinct is to resort back to that hatred that gave him purpose for so long. The same poison the daleks used to eradicate the rest of his people. But is it truly incapable of being good, if not, then why is he any different? To give into the temptation would mean to validate that goodness could not be found everywhere. That if he followed the same mindset that once drove him to pull the trigger on everyone involved in the whole war, than he was doomed to become one of them. To repeat the endless cycle of violence and prove once and for all that he is a monster that cannot change.

Again the answer to the question is up to us to decide. But for him, there's only one clear answer.

No one else has to die. By choosing to not do anything he can live another day, without carrying the guilt of another being dying at his hands. Not because it has to be done, but because he has the option to refuse.

He can no longer assert that its existence as the final survivor of his race isn't important. That just because he hates it, doesn't mean it doesn't deserve a second chance like he got.

Really who is he to pass judgement, when there was a point in his life where he too was blinded by rage and the very narrow view he held of the world?

There is always a choice, and sometimes, the choice is to not take part in that decision.

And so that's what he does.

Rose takes on the burden for him, reaching out to the dalek in the same compassionate way he once did for him. Ordering the dalek to die not out of spite, but out of mercy because that is what the dalek wanted. A being born with the ultimate goal of surviving at all costs with hatred running through its blood, yet it's last moments are spent anguishing over all the death it caused. But unlike the Doctor, who strived to change as a result, he used up his second chance to end the pain. All it asked in return, was comfort or in other words...a hand to hold.

Or..so we think.

It's this ability to look past his biases that allows him to see the good in individuals like Mickey, Jack, and even Rose, when she inevitably screws up. He is able to grant them a second chance to prove themselves and keep them grounded, just like they did for him. His bonds to said people strengthen as a result and now he travels with a group of individuals he can trust with his life. People that can ease the burden and see the good in him.

Now the final episodes of his run is where the final test to his resolve to change is put into question. In a cruel twist of faith, history repeats itself.

Once again, he is given a choice: to let humanity die at the hand of the daleks, or end it all himself.

But alas he chooses not to give in. To not let himself become like the very thing he despises, because the alternative would mean witnessing the mass death of humanity at his hands. A group of beings he personally saw was capable of so much good, and was directly responsible for his change of heart. They reminded him that he was not above changing and that he could find meaning in simply continuing to find the good in others. He refuses, and so he seals his fate.

Yes he would die as a result, but at least he'll die knowing that he did all that he could. That he did not repeat the same cycle of violence that drove him to make the decision to eradicate all that he knew in an act of desperation.

He was free at last of the hatred that poisoned him for so long and it's due in part to the emotion that now stood in its place. Something he slowly cultivated throughout the span of his episodes: Love.

Love for humanity.

Love for Rose.

Love for himself. Because he finally did something he would not live to regret

" Before I go, i just want to tell you that you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"

When he finally regenerates, it is done with the intention that his final act is not one of destruction, but love. This man, with the blood of so many on his hands, was able to forgive himself through the compassion extended to him when he was at his lowest. Rose a mere human, through sheer kindness, was able to motivate the doctor to keep going. To not hang up on the inevitabilities of life, and to find beauty in what was fleeting.

To have faith in the good of the people around him, even when it wasn't easy.

Most importantly, she reminded him that his journey was not one that had to be solitary. He could share the burden with others, and in turn, build genuine friendships that would help ease that loneliness he felt.

What makes Rose special to the doctor is not that she is inherently special. She is not someone of high status nor this faultless god that is capable of doing no wrong. No what makes her important to him is the fact that she was perceptive enough to realize that he needed help, and selflessly gave it at a time where he was at his lowest. She extended the best of humanity towards him during a time where he desperately needed a reminder that life was more than just pain. She never gave up on him, always assuring him that he was capable of doing good even when he himself didn't believe it.

This was not a bond forged on shallow appearances or attraction, no, it was a deep friendship in which both people involved grew to become better versions of themselves by the end. They just so happened to fall in love in the process.

Something I want to point out is that the reason why he has the courage to kiss Rose is because his love for her, he feels, is unrequited. He thinks this will be the last chance to show her how much she means to him in this body, and perhaps ever. He is insecure, you see that in the way he practically sneers at any man that looks at her yet he never makes a move himself. That is why he is deeply confused as to why it takes her so long to warm up to his 10th incarnation in the Christmas invasion. Going as far as to claim that she had given up on him. A behavior that to him, makes no sense as he was essentially tailored to her tastes. A pretty boy, just like the ones she showed interest in previously.

This is why he asks her upon regenerating what she thinks of his appearance and once again when he wakes up from his coma. He wants her to fawn over him but doesn't take into account that maybe, bursting into flames isn't exactly a normal human occurrence lol

But we see that that is not true. His looks were never something that bothered her. Because whenever she is made to make a choice between the doctor and someone else, it's always him. Even at the expense of what he would consider to be the safer options.

Rose loved him since his 9th incarnation. This is made evident in the manner in which she immediately asks him to change back once he regenerates into 10 (Doctor Who Born Again, Children In Need Special 2005).

"Can you change back?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah"

"Oh."

"Can you?"

"No"

(note: if you haven't seen this clip, I strongly recommend doing so as it adds so much context to the conflict explored in the Christmas special)

If she had solely loved him when he was 10, then she would have accepted him easily but she didn't. It took her the entirety of the Christmas invasion to understand that he was still the same man. This is why the episode focuses so much on 10 sort of dancing around her, trying to earn her approval by showing off how he's still the same man. Going as far as to pan on his face numerous times as he wistfully looks at her direction, all while he fights the sycorax as if to make sure that she is watching him be impressive. (it's something I realized upon rewatch, just how desperately he is trying to earn back her approval lol)

So with all of this in mind, nine essentially transforms into a new man. Figuratively and literally lol. A man that finds the joy in living again and meets each challenge with a curiosity akin to that of a child. He's fun, far less burdened (outwardly) by the death of his people and more open to meeting new people. He becomes what 9 physically believes to be the ideal image of a partner Rose would want, down to the wispy hair and handsome features. Not to mention younger, as if, physically representing the the burden being lifted from his body, thus de-aging him.

But with this new man that was born out of his love for humanity and Rose, there's a conflict that is more apparent than ever. Will he be able to overcome the implications that come with falling in love with a human?

This is where the conflict shifts, because with confronting this question he is left to actually take into consideration what it means to fall deeper in love with her. A scenario he previously only humored in fantasies because he was unaware that she returned them.

Had she simply loved him as a friend, it would have been easy to ignore it but no she had fallen for him too. So now he can no longer skirt around it. To fall for a human would mean to expose her to what a Time lord's life and perspective entails. How alien he truly is and how that especially affects the manner in which they communicate. This is explicitly said in the Christmas invasion, when her whole world shifts at the reminder that he is in fact not human.

"The thing is, I thought I knew him, Mum. I thought me and him were...and then he goes on and does this. I keep forgetting he is not human"

This is what series 2's main conflict is.

But it is far from one sided.

She in return, has to confront the inevitability of her death. Can she ask that of him, to put aside the pain and let her live out the rest of her days by his side? Once she outlives those she loves, would she become someone unlike herself?

Because now it's not a question of will they won't they, they know how they feel about one another. No, it's a matter of when.

This is why series two appears to have very little conflict between the two at first glance, but that's because the conflict is within themselves. Since ten was made with her in mind, they tend to operate very similarly and so they don't get in as many arguments as they did previously. Because again, ten exists from the changes made in nine. You cannot have one without the other,as they are the two sides of the same coin.

Another tid bit that must be mentioned is that 10's desire to be human can actually be traced back to 9's era. This is because the 9th doctor always made it a point to separate himself from Rose's family life. This is what causes him to have such a strained relationship with Jackie in the first place, because his refusal to take part in Rose's personal life directly interfered with Jackie's relationship to her daughter. Jackie does care for the Doctor. He is important to Rose and so she makes an effort to welcome him, even when he refuses.

But really from a few comments he makes off handedly in father's day, one can infer that the reason why he stays far away from their home life is more of a reflection of how he views himself. Like an outsider who cannot afford to get too close to the people around him.

After all he had this to say about the importance of living a life that is ordinary.

"i don't what this is all about, and I know we're not important -"

"who said you're not important? I've traveled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two. Street corner, 2:00 in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that.."

You can't always trust the Doctor's words because he often puts on this unbothered front. But in this specific instance, he says this not as a means of diminishing it but rather being rather fond of the idea. To live the one adventure he could never have, sound familiar?

It's because of this that the 10th doctor makes an effort to be more involved in Rose's personal life. Extending his care towards her mother, and even spending the holidays with them. He even goes as far as to imply they were the closest thing to family when he tells Donna about it.

This long ass essay is all to essentially say that the idea of pitting ninerose, tenrose, and tentoorose against one another is rather pointless lol because they're all essentially the same ship but at different stages of their relationship. You cannot have the existence of one without the other because they all occupy the same man. All are equally valid according to the narrative and canon so please can we lay this useless competition to rest?

There's enough Rose to go around!