#(over i don't know acknowledging sometimes people just don't live long lives)

[perfectlysanexd]

I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

[andillbeancuteboyifiwantto]

best by dates featherless, full can in hand consumed by inner turmoil bare feet on kitchen tile yet it has slipped away, white noise thoughts of stupid human shit waste absurd etched scars of all the lies why are we this way is it really even your life to live? one accident could end it and others can debate pulling the plug keep you selfishly alive, despite organ failure the thought makes me tremble or that to barely scrape by- costs more than is possible healthcare, or bills box of pasta/can of sauce or toothpaste you can’t afford any of it even if you worked twenty jobs when am i allowed to pull the plug? i don’t want to be dead, not really don’t qualify for the circus of governmental bs can’t earn a single cent best by dates my expiration is long past years of mental illness, poverty this body is crumbling in prolonged agony heart in constant pain nothing fixes it 22 years at risk of heart failure from 22 far too long years on this rock hurtling through space this suffering is cruel, naught for any purpose yet it’d be oh such an waste in other eyes best by dates, stupid can in my hand abandoned

[ckret2]

Chapter 56 of human Bill Cipher probably not about to be the Mystery Shack's prisoner much longer:

Bill and Mabel wrap up their impromptu lesson on the second dimension, while Ford and Dipper wrap up their final preparations for Bill's execution.

Dipper peeked in through the door to the gift shop. When no one acknowledged him, he cautiously meandered across the living room toward Ford, straight between Bill and Mabel without either of them glancing at him; they were too caught up in Bill answering Mabel's question about how to see through walls with the fourth dimension.

When Dipper was nearly out of the room, Bill suddenly focused on him. "Hey stinky, what have you been up to?"

Dipper jumped. "What?"

Mabel laughed. "Yeah! You smell like burning hair."

"You smell like nightmares," Bill corrected.

Ford muttered a curse under his breath. Ford hadn't noticed a smell, but Dipper's soul had fallen into the Nightmare Realm—did its distinctive scent still cling to him? Would Bill realize what it meant? If he did—

Dipper swallowed hard. "I... was... having a nightmare?"

Bill considered that. "Ask a stupid question..." He shrugged and turned back to the grid he'd been adding notes to.

Dipper sighed in relief. He joined Ford in the entryway to watch the lesson in bafflement. Under his breath, he murmured, "Has this been going on a while?"

"At least the last fifteen minutes." That was how long Ford had been watching. He'd learned a couple things about higher dimensional physics even he hadn't known.

"Wait," Mabel said, "Bill, I get it! You don't look through walls, you look over them!"

Bill's face split into a wide grin. "Explain it!"

"It's like, if I was floating above the second dimension, I could just see over all the walls! But Flatworlders don't even know what 'above' is, so they'd think I was looking through the walls somehow! So there's got to be some kind of fourth dimensional place 'above' the third dimension, right?!"

"On the money, star girl! Give yourself another sticker!"

"YES!" She'd run out of facial real estate for stickers, so she slapped it on her headband.

Bill beamed proudly at her. "How come your brother's the one with the straight A's, huh? You could blow him out of the water if you wanted."

Mabel's smile immediately disappeared.

Dipper hissed between his teeth. "Oooh." Under his breath, he said, "Mabel hates people saying things like that. I should go rescue her." He crept back into the room. "Hey! Bill!"

Mabel turned toward Dipper. Bill only glanced askance at him. Flatly, he asked, "What."

"Uh..." Dipper skimmed the papers coating the room for anything that he could talk about, and focused on the ringed planet behind the TV. He pointed at it. "Is... that Flatworld?"

Bill shrugged apathetically. "Sure, you can call it that."

"Why are all the countries off the planet?"

"Do you think we lived underground?"

Mabel perked up. "Dipper! The shapes live in outer space! In between their home planet and the planet's rings! They only use the planet for vacations and underground science buildings and stuff."

Dipper asked, "Underground science buildings?"

Bill sighed and turned away from the grid, giving Dipper a look that said I'll give you my attention, but I won't like it. "Research facilities. Like wave pools, particle accelerators, and solar farms. Gigantic equipment like that is more stable anchored in bedrock."

(Ford remembered, suddenly, over thirty years ago, Bill telling him that he ought to dig out a subterranean cavern for the interdimensional portal. "A big machine like this," he'd said, "you want that anchored on all sides by solid rock. It'll be a lot more stable that way." Ford had never dreamed that was a trillion-year-old cultural artifact from a dead civilization.)

Still studying the map, Dipper asked, "How do you tell where your country's borders are if you're just floating in empty space?"

"How do you?"

"We use... rivers, and..."

"And sometimes you just make them up. It's not that complicated."

"Were they all as oppressive as the country in Flatworld?"

Bill gave Dipper a withering look. "This isn't a politics class, kid."

(Ford cast a dubious look at the blood-red letters reading "ANTI-MONARCHIST ANARCHISM".)

Dipper scowled, crossed his arms, and looked over the map again. "But, wait—if you were floating in outer space, and you could just... float up and down between your planet's surface and the ring, then why isn't there anything further out than that? What was stopping you from floating all the way to that moon?" He gave Bill a challenging look, as though he'd uncovered a logical fallacy that undermined the whole map.

Bill rolled his open eye. "This is what you get for coming late to class." He pointed his crayon at his star student. "Shooting Star?"

"They did float all the way to the moon!"

Dipper's shoulders dropped. "Oh."

"It was a big extreme sports bragging rights thing," Mabel said. "Like climbing Mount Everest! Except first you have to get through the rings without dying! And it'd take like thirty years to fly there and thirty years to get back!"

"Approximating the human years," Bill said.

"So they couldn't go until they invented cars, because they're fast enough to get through the rings without getting hit and it only takes a year to drive to the moon, but that means you still have to carry enough supplies for two years, and—"

"Hold on," Dipper said. "Cars?"

"Yeah!"

"But there's no ground! They're flying around in the air! They don't have wheels, do they? What makes a car different from a rocket ship?"

"Um..." Mabel looked to Bill for help.

Bill said, "Firepower." He drew a rocket sailing up toward the moon at an angle, its fiery trail cutting through the planet's rings. After a thoughtful pause, Bill added, "I know a guy that used to work at an observatory on the far side of the moon."

Dipper said, "So what happened to your world?"

And there was that hesitance, that guarded look Ford had remembered seeing whenever Bill got too close to teaching Ford enough for him to recognize the danger to his dimension. He turned away from the kids, busying himself with refining the shape of the moon. "Do the math. I'm over a trillion years old! Stars burn out, universes go cold. Your planet will barely last twelve billion years. That's the way planets go."

"Well, if you're so powerful, why didn't you just—I dunno—keep it alive?"

The crayon snapped in Bill's hand.

Mabel gave her brother an irritated look—"Dipper, don't be mean,"—but it turned to a worried look when Bill rounded sharply on them both.

Bill snapped, "Who says I didn't, smart aleck?"

"Wh—I—"

"It is alive, thanks for asking. I made sure of that."

"Then where is it—?"

"Do you think I let you sit in here so you could ask stupid questions?" Bill planted a fist on his hip and pointed toward the door. "All you've done is derail the lesson and bring up stuff we covered three hours ago. Scram, kid."

"What—? But..." Dipper looked to Mabel for help.

Mabel shrugged. Dipper sighed, got up, and trudged out of the living room to join Ford in the entryway, giving him a forlorn look as he did.

Ford muttered, "I used to get kicked out of classes for challenging the teacher, too."

Dipper snorted. "Did he ever kick you out of class?"

Ford thought. "No—but why would he? He needed me to think I was his star student."

Although one time Bill had woken Ford up at two in the morning in the middle of a dream during the portal's construction, because Ford had forgotten some measurements he'd taken in the basement and he hadn't left his notes somewhere one of Bill's eyes could see them. And then, once Ford had retrieved his notes, the irritation of being woken had prevented him from falling back asleep and returning to his Muse.

They'd laughed about it the next night.

"Do you think his world does still exist?" Dipper asked.

Ford shook his head. "The Oracle said he destroyed his dimension himself in his pursuit of power. I trust her more than him."

They stood outside watching as Mabel asked Bill if there was any way for a normal human to see into the fourth dimension without busting their eyeballs. Bill started illustrating a way to grind glass to refract light from several minutes in the future, before abandoning it halfway completed to start explaining to Mabel how regular three-dimensional refraction worked. Ford recognized the unfinished illustration. Bill had included it in his miniature grimoire, too.

Voice low, Ford murmured, "You can't tell your sister we're ready."

Dipper nodded. "She'll be heartbroken."

Ford remembered having the exact same thought that morning. He squeezed Dipper's shoulder. "I suppose I won't be going with her to that concert in Portland tomorrow."

####

"... and that," Bill concluded, "is why the Time Giants banned sixth-dimensional tourism. But by then the damage was done—which is why there's only one survivor left."

Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, Mabel said, "I'll never see balloons the same way again."

"Nobody ever does." Bill clicked shut his marker and dropped it on Mabel's chest. "So that covers the last fifty billion years of local politics! Did that answer your question?"

Mabel paused. "I don't remember my question."

"Good. I don't either." Bill sat on the floor beside Mabel and crossed his legs. "Anyway, you owe me fifty grand. All the info I gave you today is worth at least a year of college classes on this planet."

"Pssh, yeah right!" She paused. She sat up. "Wait. Really?"

"I might've skipped a few names and dates and formulas—but sure! We covered all the important stuff!" Smugly, he said, "So, still think I think you're dumb?"

Mabel stared at him, and then around the room at all the papers coating the walls, covered in Bill's handwriting. "You did all this just to prove I'm smart?"

"You proved you're smart. I got a captive audience for the afternoon. Quid pro quo!" Bill grinned. "I wasn't kidding earlier! You've got twice the brains of any of the other morons you'll share a classroom with. I'm surprised it's your brother on the honor roll instead of you."

Mabel's smile faded. Oh. "Yeah," she grumbled, pulling her knees to her chest. "You and everyone else." This wasn't much better than Bill thinking she was stupid: now he had expectations for her.

She'd heard it a million times, any time she did anything intelligent. You're so smart too, why aren't your grades better? Why don't you make grades like your brother?

Because Mabel liked art, music, motion, and stories (and usually not even the stories they read in English class); and Dipper liked—or at least was good at—math, science, and history. Because Mabel's brain fuzzed over with TV static when she tried to read a textbook, and the static got louder the more she was forced to reread it to "study"; whereas Dipper could read a chapter once, retain everything that mattered, and then skim it a second time right before a test to remind himself of the important names and dates. Because Mabel's bulb was just as bright as Dipper's, but hers had faulty wiring, making it flicker on and off outside her control; and she could only get it to glow steadily for things her brain was interested in; and she couldn't choose what her brain was interested in; and school wasn't on that list.

But how did she explain that when her parents were disappointed in her C+ test because Dipper came home with an A? When they told her she just needed to apply herself, how did she explain she was already applying herself five times harder than Dipper and still trailing behind him when the whole family knew she had just as much brains as him? It might have been easier if she actually was stupid. At least then they'd know she was doing her best. But she wasn't doing her best.

She got it from everyone. From her parents, day in and day out; from aunts, uncles, and grandparents; from teachers she'd taken by surprise with a particularly passionate essay; sometimes even from friends. Why aren't you making A's like your brother? So why shouldn't she hear it even from Bill Cipher.

Bill leaned back in surprise when Mabel curled in on herself. "What? I'm calling you smart, kid. Most humans like that."

Mabel shook her head, pouting at the floor. "Forget it. It just—it doesn't matter what my stupid grades are, all right?"

He stared at her in bafflement for a moment; and then said, with a tone of growing horror, "Oh. Ohhh. I sound like your dad."

She hated how much he knew about their home lives. She never knew when he was going to reveal he'd combed through one of her most shameful memories. "Just forget it," she repeated. "I just don't make grades like Dipper, okay?"

"Kid, I didn't mean it like that. I..." Bill floundered for a moment. It was weird to see him struggling for words. He leaned forward, cheek in hand, putting himself eye level with Mabel. "You know—I don't think I'm fond of your brother."

That dragged a small laugh out of Mabel. "Really? You hide it so well."

"I know! I'm a real gentleman," he said. "So when I say 'hey, why aren't you getting A's,' I'm not saying you should be more like him, ugh. I just want to watch the alpha twin trounce that little nerd."

She laughed louder. "Bill! Be nice, that's my brother!"

"And you have my eternal sympathy."

"Bill!" She punched his arm. "I don't want to compete with him, though. Even if I try a zillion times harder, I'll never get grades as good as his." She sighed loudly. But Bill was watching her, full attention on her face, expectant, so she continued: "I don't want to be a slightly worse Dipper, I just... want to be a really good Mabel! And—and maybe a really good Mabel is just okay at school. It's fine if I just... graduate with C's and go to some boring local college to get a boring degree for a boring job... while Dipper goes to some... big, fancy stupid technical college... or..." She trailed off, chin in her hands, staring at the carpet.

"Or while he gets private tutoring from some genius with too many PhDs?" Bill said wryly.

Mabel didn't answer, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. "I know he wouldn't have actually left me behind."

Bill grimaced, sucking in a breath between his teeth. "Yeeeah, no, he would have," he said. "Sorry, kid. If it weren't for Weirdmageddon, he'd have taken the apprenticeship."

Mabel's stomach flipped. "Oh."

"So, you're welcome," Bill said.

Mabel socked him again, more seriously.

Bill just laughed. "Hey—if it helps, he woulda been worse off for it! He made the right choice sticking with you."

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you?" He paused. "Poor choice of words. I'm not lying to you. He'll be better off suffering through a middle-upper-class Californian high school beside you than he ever woulda been hiding in the woods catching gnomes in butterfly nets."

She nodded. That was some comfort. Even if, in another life, apparently Dipper would've ditched her.

Bill gave her one of those long, piercing looks he sometimes did; and then he nudged her. "Hey. Don't worry about school—that's your parents talking, not you. And don't worry about what your brother does. Let him bust his butt at a big stupid technical college! Flunk every class and draw flowers on the SAT bubble sheet! You'll have plenty of your own things going on, and your dumb grades won't matter for any of them—"

Mabel flung her arms around Bill. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey. You're gonna be fine, kid." He leaned his head on Mabel's, one shut eye pressed to the crown of her head. "I—know it's hard. But you'll be fine."

She didn't know how he could know it was hard. He already knew everything, it wasn't like he ever had to worry about grades. But—the fact that he cared (that he cared) meant a lot. "Thank you."

"Buuut, if you ever decide you do want to be an honor roll kid, call me up! I can give you some advice."

Warily, Mabel asked, "Study tips?"

"No way! What a waste of time!" Bill rolled his eyes. "But I can teach you how to cheat."

####

After Ford told Stan and Soos the news about the Dontium, he headed downstairs to fuel up his Quantum Destabilizer. It had been waiting on a worktable in his study for weeks, the corded power adaptor Fiddleford had made plugged in where it usually took fuel, its empty fuel tank laying nearby.

Fiddleford had said the adaptor he'd invented only gave the destabilizer enough power to act like a common laser—not enough to completely destroy matter and energy. It was insufficient for the job at hand. Ford unplugged the power adaptor, carefully coiled it up, and slid it into a storage pocket in the destabilizer's carrying case.

He picked up the fuel tank, retrieved the milk jug of NowUSeeitNowUDontium, and poured it into the tank, eyes never wavering from the jug until every drop had been poured inside and the tank re-sealed. He triple checked the destabilizer's safety before he plugged in the fuel tank. Then he put the destabilizer in the carrying case as well, and shut and latched it.

As he headed toward the door, Ford spied Flatworld laying on his desk—Dipper must have left it downstairs. He picked it up... and then sat down, studying the cover. It showed a square with arms and legs peering through a telescope.

How much did the book really matter? The kids must have cracked open something in Bill's psyche by reading this book, with how talkative he'd been today—Ford suspected he'd learned more about Bill's world in less than thirty seconds of staring at the crayon drawings in the living room than he had in all the years he'd known him. He itched again to start recording revelations in his journal.

Would Bill have been this forthright years ago, if Ford had remembered more about the book then and asked about it? Or was Bill only willing to share so much because the Pines already knew the truth about his cruel intentions and he had nothing more to hide? No, that couldn't be it—just a year ago, long after he'd revealed his plans, Bill had been willing to guardedly confess to Ford that he'd "liberated" his dimension, but nothing more. The only descriptor he'd given of it was "flat." He hadn't even shown Ford an accurate illustration of his home world.

Then was it because he'd died since then—a ghost desperate to share his life story before he dissipated completely? Or was it just because Mabel had asked?

If Bill had been honest when he'd said he wanted to be Ford's friend... then, Ford supposed, it was possible Bill was also sincere in caring for Mabel. No, Ford was sure that was sincere. How many times had he seen Bill lost in thought, staring at the friendship bracelet she'd given him?

Ford idly flipped through Flatworld, choosing a passage at random to read, wondering how much he'd remember.

SQUARE. Most illustrious Sir, I can observe plainly that you are a Circle, though I know not by what magical means you have found an ingress into my dreams. Would your Lordship deign to satisfy the curiosity of one who wishes to know the identity of his esteemed Visitor?

SPHERE. Your question is more difficult than you may realize. To begin with, I am not a Circle, but rather a Sphere, the definition of which I shall explain to you in due time; and you, my humble pupil, if you exercise the full extent of your intellectual and rhetorical capacity, I hope shall be the Square who changes Flatworld. 

SQUARE. Your Lordship both honors and confuses me. I shall strive to be worthy of your high estimation, but I am naught but a mere Quadrilateral and know not how I could contain the potential to achieve such a feat.

SPHERE. I see I have gotten ahead of myself. I shall explain the purpose of my visit. I hope to find in you—as being a man of sense and an accomplished mathematician—a fit prophet to receive the Gospel of Higher and Lower Dimensions, which I am allowed to preach to only one brilliant mind in a century. 

SQUARE. Pardon me, my Lord, if I am speaking blasphemously in my ignorance; but would not a messenger from beyond this Plain who delivers Gospels to Prophets be better described as an Angel?

SPHERE. You may refer to me as an "Angel" if you so wish, as my nature is not so different from the creature you call such. However, I have come not to offer a revelation of the truth of the Higher Dimensions, but to bless you with the inspiration to discover the truth for yourself. In this manner, I am less like unto an Angel than I am to a Muse—

Ford threw the book on the floor.

####

When Ford headed back upstairs, he resolved to tear down all Bill's crayon drawings and throw them away, lest he give into the temptation to waste the rest of Journal 5's pages meticulously cataloguing them.

But when he reached the living room, the walls were bare, with no sign the papers had ever been there aside from some stray crayon marks and a little extra damage to the wallpaper where the tape had peeled up, and a faint smell of smoke.

Ford followed the smell into the kitchen. There was a cast iron skillet on the dark stove, embers and the last few strands of smoke trailing up from it. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table in the dark, staring out into the night, nursing what looked like the second cider can of the night.

"What's all this?" Ford asked.

Without turning around, Bill said smugly, "I knew you'd be back to try to get those papers."

"Wh—? I was coming to throw them away."

"In the middle of the night?" Bill scoffed. "Please."

Ford frowned at the skillet. Well. Temptation removed, just like he'd wanted. Although a petty part of him was miffed that now Bill thought he'd been coming to rummage through his detritus for secrets about his home world, rather than seeing Ford confidently throw it in the trash. "How did you get the stove on?"

"Oh, is it on?" Bill asked innocently.

Ford double checked. It was not, and the knobs to operate it were still removed. But it radiated heat as though it had been; Bill hadn't just dropped the papers in the skillet and ignited them there. (Which would have been an entirely new concern.) Ford checked the cabinet where they kept the stove knobs—all still there. If he asked Bill how he'd achieved that, he'd probably just profess ignorance.

Fine, Ford had plenty of other questions he wanted to ask. "How long have you been able to levitate objects?"

"You mean like this?" Bill lifted his empty cider can, tapped it twice with his index finger, and left it suspended in midair.

"Yes, like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I can't do that," Bill said.

Ford sighed in frustration. "Was it the eclipse? You said you were—what was it, 'better at floating' than us? Did it... unlock something? Or have you always been able to do this?"

"This is what I used to like about you, Stanford. You're so curious. You come up with the most interesting connections between things. Sometimes connections I'd never thought of! And you keep—asking—questions. Even when nobody answers you." He finished his second can, used both hands to crush it, and left it floating in the air next to the first. "You used to be such a good student."

You used to be such a good teacher, he wanted to shoot back—but that was a lie. Bill had never been a good teacher, he'd just pretended to be one.

He'd been a good teacher to Mabel today.

Why isn't he always a good teacher? Why had he chosen to be a poor facsimile when he could have chosen to be the real deal? Why hadn't he been better? Why hadn't he been better? Why did they always seem to have these conversations in the middle of the night?

"Why are you..." Ford spread his hands helplessly, gesturing at all of Bill, everything he'd ever done—golden god of infinite wisdom, poisoned by lies and cruelty, trapped in a slowly rotting body. "Why are you like this."

Ford wasn't expecting Bill to get out of his seat and round on him so fast. He didn't even see the blow coming before Bill punched him.

Ford seized Bill's wrist and only barely caught himself before he broke it.

Bill didn't even acknowledge Ford's grip. "I'm so sick of you." His voice was hard as iron. "If you ever ask me that again, I'll burn down this shack with all of us inside."

Ford stared at Bill. He let go of his wrist.

Bill silently swept around Ford and out of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry."

Bill's footsteps fell silent. After a moment, he muttered, "Might've overreacted."

Something about the grudging not-apology hit Ford harder than a proper apology ever would have. He remained standing in the kitchen until long after Bill had gone upstairs.

The cans had fallen at some point during Bill's departure. Ford knelt to pick them up. Experimentally, he tapped one twice, and let it go.

It fell to the floor again.

It occurred to him that, depending on what happened tomorrow, those might have been the last words he'd ever say to Bill.

####

Bill shuffled to his sleep spot under the attic window, flopped unsteadily onto the cushions, pulled Journal 4 from its hiding spot, and carefully stuck the gold star Mabel had given him earlier that day to one of its pages.

And then he filled half a page with all the things he should have screamed at Ford.

####

Mabel came into the bedroom, shut the door—it had been patched earlier that day by Soos—and flopped face up on her bed. Staring at the ceiling, she said, "Dipper I know everything now."

Dipper was already under the covers, eyes shut. "About what?"

"Bill."

"What shape was his dad?"

Mabel paused. "I know almost everything about Bill."

"Pfff."

"But I do know his mom was some kind of supermodel or something! He says that's where he got his good looks. I don't know if he's actually good-looking by Flatworld standards, or if he just has really high self-esteem, but if his mom was a model I guess he could have inherited whatever Flatworlders think is good-looking—"

"How do you know he's not lying?"

"Why would he lie about that? I'll never meet his mom."

"To make his family sound cool?"

Uncertainly, Mabel said, "I guess." After a pause, she loud-whispered, "Did you read Flatworld?"

Dipper figured he wasn't getting to sleep any time soon. He pushed his covers down and sat up. "Yeah."

"It was really messed up, huh?"

Dipper thought about it. "I... guess it was, yeah." He hadn't thought about it much earlier—he'd been trying to wrap his head around the math and visualize the fourth dimension, and then his quick tour of the Nightmare Realm had pushed it from his mind completely; but... "The author's really obsessed with dead baby shapes, huh."

"You remember those old 70s cartoons with singing numbers we watched in class to try to teach us multiplication?" Mabel asked. "I was expecting it to be like that but for old timey people. Not about shapes getting executed for having short sides."

"Or squares getting locked in insane asylums for heresy if they tried to say the third dimension existed."

"Or major sexism against lines."

"Yeah, what was that about? Did they really think lines went around stabbing everyone to death just because they're pointy and they could?"

"I don't know, maybe lines really did do that. If I kept being told to shut up because my head was too skinny to hold a brain, I'd stab my husband too."

"I guess that makes sense." Light through the attic's triangular window illuminated the room a deep gray-blue; but as Dipper watched, the room darkened as a cloud covered the moon. It was probably going to rain tomorrow. "And... this is where Bill grew up?"

"Yeah," Mabel said quietly. "Some details are different from the book, he said so. Like he told me colors weren't illegal and peace-cries were just a dumb etiquette thing. But..."

"What about the executions? Or—or triangles being treated like servants by everyone else?"

"I don't know. He didn't want to answer questions like that. He talked about stuff like dance clubs and gardening in space, but he got super mad when I tried to ask about the serious stuff."

"Maybe he got his power as part of some... triangle uprising? And then he went crazy and decided to destroy everything?" Dipper was thinking, again, about the Axolotl's half-remembered prophecy. That maybe Bill was here to help them against some threat even worse than him.

"I can see why he destroyed his dimension," Mabel said.

Dipper winced, "Okay, but—sure, it was bad, but that doesn't mean his entire dimension deserved to die."

"No, of course not," Mabel said quickly. "But like I get it. If all that was going on."

"If it was. Just... how much is different from the book, and how much is true?"

"I don't know."

The room fell silent again.

"Welp," Mabel said brightly, "I've got the rest of summer to get the whole story out of him! Goodnight, Dipper!"

Dipper's stomach flipped with guilt. "Yeah." The rest of summer. Mabel left for Portland in the morning. "Goodnight."

He lay down, pulled his sheet back up, and stared at the ceiling.

Friday, 11:00 p.m.

####

(Next week's chapter is exactly what you think it is. But before we get there, I'm looking forward to hearing what y'all think about this week!)

[raayllum]

EZRAN: Prince Karim, all Queen Janai wants is peace. There's no need to attack. Take your army, the people who follow you, and build your own future somewhere away from here.

KARIM: But I agree with you. There is no need for violence today if my terms are met. EZRAN: Your terms? Prince Karim, I may be a child, but I know how to count. Janai's five armies are more than your one. The Queen expects to defeat you decisively. KARIM: And I expect my sister to surrender unconditionally and acknowledge me as the High King of the Sunfire Empire. EZRAN: I don't think— KARIM: And all humans will leave our lands immediately, and return to the other side of the border. Where you belong. EZRAN: You can't force the humans to leave. People have made friendships, built families. Your own sister is marrying a human! KARIM: I know this must seem harsh to you, but... history cannot be forged without fire. Without strength.

EZRAN: I am a king. And as a king, I choose love over strength. Sometimes it's hard, but when I struggle, I think about the people I love and how they are counting on me to do the right thing. Not the harsh thing, not the strong thing. The right thing.

KARIM: But she will always be my sister. EZRAN: Then you can still choose love. It's not too late. KARIM: The great Archdragon of the Sun was faced with a choice long ago. He chose fire. I honour Sol Regem now, as my sister should have done when she had the chance. [...] EZRAN: You want Janai to attack! And when she does... you'll call down Sol Regem and—they won't stand a chance! KARIM: Ah. Humans might be more clever than I thought. I don't need five armies when I have one archdragon.

A few notes, as always:

Karim, when nudged by Miyana, acknowledged in 6x02 that what they were doing, they were doing "for us" and "for [their people]" and I think in a lot of ways, like Viren, that's what it initially started out as. However, here we see most clearly that this is about Karim's ego (shocking, I know) and pride. He wants to be king of this land, he wants to crush and restore 'natural order' to Xadia by expelling humans again. Just having this own followers and his own piece of land elsewhere isn't enough, even though it would be if his people's happiness was all he cared about.

Ezran offers a variety of options and perspectives to Karim to appeal to him — you could leave peacefully with your people, you can make active choices, don't you love your sister? — the latter of which being the only one to really get under his skin. I also like seeing Ezran advocate on behalf of his citizens (and possibly others) who have been integrated into Sunfire society and daily life. Karim wants to return Xadia to being wholly divided, but Ezran — like Janai, and Amaya, and the bulk of the main cast — want reintegration, for humans to live on both sides of the border again (and elves beyond just Rayla I'm sure).

We also see consistent motifs such as the 'paths' element that arc 2 has largely fostered, Karim's focus on history and fire, consistent themes like the emphasis on choices, as well as anyone — but especially Ezran — harkening back directly to Harrow's letter from 2x06, which is the first time in seasons we've heard the same sentiments so directly expressed. (Crying over "No, it's too late for that" in 1x02 vs "Then you can still choose love, it's not too late").

I also really enjoy the way this scene tests Ezran. As he said in 4x03, "We all want love and we all want peace" and here, he's presented directly with the opposite: Queen Janai wants peace, but Karim wants violence, he wants to be attacked so that he can have the upper hand, and that's when Ez and Corvus know they need to get out of here.

I also can't help but think about how relevant Ezran's speech here is going to be when he encounters Runaan in S7. We saw in the TDP short story "Deep Below" that he will likely want to do the "harsh thing, the strong thing," rather than the right thing. It makes me wonder if we'll see more of an Ezran&Rayla focus as a way to guide him through. After all, Runaan murdered his father, but Runaan is also Rayla's father—and doesn't Ezran love his sister?

[tarotwithavi]

Messages from your inner child 🎁🪐

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist

Paid services

Hello if you're reading I hope you have a great month ahead!

Pile 1

Hello I hope you are fine I just want to ask you how are you coping up with it. We promised to be a kind person did we not? Are you still that kind person? I am not talking about how you treat others I am talking about how you treat yourself. Are you being kind to us? I just get upset sometimes when you don't treat yourself the way you treat your good friends because I am your friend too. Are we doing our dream job? Are we doing what we dreamed of? No? Do we have the friend group that we always desired? Are we popular now? Are you putting enough work to get all that we desired? I am not blaming you I am just reminding you that to get what we desire we need to put in the same effort. You know you are capable of all that you desire, you're worthy of all that you desire but things will not be served on a silver platter for you.

I see that a lot of you have been hurt and yourself healing from all those experiences. I also see that some of you may have been through a miscarriage or death of a child. Your inner child just wants you to know that everything will be okay and you will be fine. I also see that some of you need to take action to fulfill your dreams. You have the idea that you just need to put it to work. Follow your dreams, are you the person your inner child will be proud of? Ask yourself. What can you do to be the person you always dreamt of becoming as a child?

Pile 2

Hello! I know you have been really stressed lately. I know things did not work out the way you thought they would or the way you wanted them to but I just want you to know that the upcoming days are a blessing. You have done enough for us now it's your time to take a rest and finally give yourself the credit you deserve. I do not feel good when you overwork yourself. If you look closely we are currently living one of her childhood dreams you just need to acknowledge that. You are already doing enough to become the person you are meant to be and sometimes life does punch us in the face but we have to stand strong. Do not be harsh with your words, do not look yourself in the mirror and say harsh things because I live inside you. Yes, things are really bad. Yes we do not have the money to get some work done but it will be alright. Remember “This too shall pass”. The people the times the beauty all these things are temporary with the only thing that is permanent is your mind. People leave you, time changes and beauty becomes not so beautiful with time but it is only your brain that remains the same. Yes it does go from frequent changes but in the end it's your brain that is going to stay with you forever. so keep that positive and do not let those negative thoughts get to you.

Alright so this may be a really specific message but I am getting that if you used to have a twin who couldn't survive , they are now one of your spirit guides. I also want you to know that you are going to reap the fruits of what you bore in the past. For example if you did a good thing and forgot about it then you are getting the good Karma back but if you did a bad thing then this is just the karma getting at you. For some of you you are about to meet your soulmate and have a long term relationship with them however I would suggest you to not obsess over the thought of having a soulmate because that may repel them. I also see that your inner child is proud of you actually and they really want to give you a big hug. Imagine your child self hugging you and patting you on the back.

Pile 3

Hello!!!!! Do not be sad, we have to prove people wrong, right? We have to prove that we are enough and we have to prove that they have been wrong for a very long time. They have been wrong about the world, they have been wrong about us, they have been wrong about what beauty is. Honestly I don't think there is anything they have been correct at. Just keep doing what you are doing. I am really proud of you and you should keep being yourself. Show them your sarcastic side and talk back to them. You are doing enough I said and that's the end of the topic. They can be the one to speak or to start a conversation or even an argument but we will be the one who ends it. You are here to break generational curses . What people say should not bother you. In fact what people say should not bother anyone because they don't pay our bills. I don't know how you become so anxious because this is not you, we are carefree, we are cheerful and we are beautiful.

Alright so your inner child seems sassy so to say. I also see that you have been receiving messages in your dreams or your about to. I also see that if you are thinking of starting a new business or giving a job interview or filing for a job then you should definitely do it but be really careful of what information you share. Some of you may be having nightmares recently because your room is really cold. Things about to change life will turn drastically. It's like you are about to shift realities. Right now you may be doing two jobs or maybe managing work and job and may be really stressed about yesterday's work and your personal life but you're about to shift into a reality where you will not have to worry about these things. You are about to shift into a reality where your manifestations will come to reality within seconds.

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: How can you wear your "Big Boy" pants right now?

Sometimes we need reminders that we can in fact, be "big boys" in our lives and take responsibility to change what we don't like about our lives. Happy reading!

_________________________________________________________

Pile 1:

There's a lot you CAN do. In fact, you have been doing a lot by yourself, weathering proverbial storms all on your own. Unfortunately, you haven't been conscious enough to acknowledge all the effort you've been putting in to simply push through. Let me be the one to give you the kudos you deserve, Pile 1. You've been doing way more than you think, albeit these are mostly internal efforts (like maintaining a headstrong attitude in the face of a challenge). You currently feel challenged to take active steps in your external life, though. You might find it hard to apply things you learn to your life or simply lack the discipline to see your (quite excellent) plans through. You need to be reminded that you do have the free will to choose to make all your plans come to life :) You have what it takes, sweetie; you really do.

Bonus - How do you need to go about it? One thing that can EASILY help you execute your plans is to bring in help (trigger warning though). You all seem Independent AF, and I get it, sweets. With everything you've been doing, of course, you can handle anything, but you definitely need some support too right now. Especially if you struggle with something like discipline (or whatever challenge you're facing right now). Bringing in even just ONE person (or multiple) to help hold you accountable to your plans, with compassion, would help you a lot (that person/people don't have to be real too; you could bring in a bot from an app or AI, I don't care) as long as you feel like you have a buddy, you know? Somebody who makes you feel like your plans matter. It's an excellent way to pour into yourself right now and show yourself some TLC ✨️ You deserve to make your plans a reality and have a bit of fun on your path towards it.

Love, light, and hugs!

_________________________________________________________

Pile 2:

Doing things your way and rejecting convention might be a BIG step for you, to be honest, but it's well worth it, Pile 2. Celebrate yourself, basically. Slow down and enjoy yourselves a little bit. Maybe you've been living your life BY THE BOOK so far, and now you're going to put your big boy pants on by letting loose and doing things differently for once. You're not abandoning yourself and your needs nearly as much anymore, and so you're quite stable in your own skin as a result. That's really impressive, Pile 2! You have lived in fear (possibly a fear of failure), and I'm sensing some mommy wounds maybe? This is where your fear stems from, and this fear has kept you from really truly living. You might identify as a workaholic too. Maybe you prefer to keep yourself busy as a coping mechanism to ward off any feelings of anxiety. This has a direct correlation to childhood wounds of yours. So put your big boy pants on and put an end to conforming to standards that don't respect you and what you stand for, Pile 2.

Bonus - How do you need to go about it? I feel like this pile needs extra guidance on how to exactly wear their big boy pants. Start by acknowledging that you do have wounds from childhood, specifically those from female (motherly) figures, if not your mother herself. Take a radical approach to your healing journey right now. Look into the concept of mothering yourself and come up with customized ways to do just that. You got this, Pile 2 :)

Love, light, and hugs!

_________________________________________________________

Pile 3:

It seems like you've already been wearing your big boy pants, Pile 3. Good job! Looks like you've been on a healing journey, and you're now at a point in life where you can reap the benefits of all the inner work you've done. You've reached a level of mastery over the mind, and now it's time to make room to tend to your heart. You need something that your authority figures couldn't give you readily, and that's unconditional compassion. Show yourself kindness even when things don't go as you'd like them to. Hold yourself through the thick and thin of life, as you would a child. This should open up a brand new way of living and viewing life that you never thought possible. It has always been waiting for you and your attention. Nurture yourself on a whole new level and be ready to receive 10X from the universe. You're going to feel so spoiled, I love it, haha! 😄

Love, light, and hugs!

_________________________________________________________

[rainbowsky]

Hey RBS.. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. Do you think Globalfever fansite is being managed directly by someone from GG/DD’s team. Many a times I wonder how that site able to get tickets to all of our boys events and capture such close up candid shots of GGDD unless she is part of their inner circle?

Example today - https://weibo.com/7320958826/OydEkDN0w

not sure if it’s original or edited.. from that video it looks like XZ acknowledged her words of Jiayou and bye bye

Hi Natashayishan, thanks! I hope you're well, and that you have a wonderful week too! 😊

Here's the video for those who don't have access to Weibo.

To answer this question I'm going to start by explaining a bit of background about what I know about fansites and how they function (I'm by no means an expert, but here's what I do know).

Part 1 - Fansites in General

There has been a lot of talk about fansites over the years, and some have faced accusations, criticisms, confusion, suspicions, theories both positive and negative for a very long time. I think they're largely misunderstood by a lot of fans.

For example, it's not uncommon for people to believe fansites are stalkers, or that they shamelessly profit from the unauthorized use of a star's image or footage, or that they're organizations that exist for the purpose of exploiting stars.

This isn't really how it works at all. In general, a fansite is just one fan who follows a star's career and enjoys sharing photos and videos they take of that star. Plain and simple. Some fansites involve more than one person, but most are just made up of individuals.

Yes, they sometimes make money selling photo books and other merch, but that money tends to go back into supporting the star -buying endorsement products, arranging events and giveaways, buying or upgrading equipment needed to create fansite content (cameras, computer equipment, software), paying for tickets (many of which are overpriced reseller tickets) and travel/accommodations to attend events, etc.

It might seem glamorous - and there's undeniably a glamorous aspect to it - but to me it looks very stressful, like a huge headache. These fans generally have their own lives and careers outside of fandom, so coordinating everything, waiting in lines, standing in the rain outside appearances and events, not to mention the pressure to attend events and post regular updates, and all the haters and antis they are constantly dealing with, the amount of stress and frustration they deal with must be immense.

It's a lot of work, and for this reason, fansites don't always stay fansites. Some retire as their real life interests and obligations shift. One of my favorite GGDD fansites - Midnight Dream - retired a few years ago. 😢

Fansites are an important part of any celebrity's support system. While no - they aren't part of a celebrity's team or on their payroll, they do play a huge part in helping to bring attention to a star and build buzz around them, their projects, their appearances, events and other activities.

If you want an analogy that might help it make more sense to you, just look at some of the sports fans across the globe who will follow all the matches, follow team developments, team picks, managers and training, and share all that info on blogs, podcasts or dedicated sports fan sites.

This is very similar. They're just really dedicated fans who build a following by being where we can't be, and sharing their experiences so that we can feel like we were there, too.

And they provide the fans and the stars an immense, immeasurable service IMHO, despite what we might agree or disagree with about the way fandom culture works. The content they capture and share is almost always far more intimate (generally without being invasive), and of a far higher quality than that of the professionals hired to cover these events on behalf of media agencies and management.

Fansites do get some official support from time to time. For example, there are events where fansites can get approval - almost like a press pass or a security pass - to attend and be in certain locations within or near facilities to take photographs, video, etc., but they are not hired or compensated by the star or their team.

A lot of how everything works is also largely unknown/unknowable, so it's hard to be sure of the details. There are always going to be rumors and claims. For example, there have been claims that during SDOC Yibo was allowed to invite 4 fansites to come to the finale, and of the 4, he chose 3 BXG fansites and only one solo site. I haven't seen proof of that, but the claim was making the rounds a lot at the time.

One thing we do know - he chose a fansite photo to give to Yangkai when he was courting him to join his team in season 4. (Of course, solos made a huge stink and Youku ended up editing the footage to remove the photo, but we saw what we saw).

There are other examples of GG and DD interacting with or showing acceptance of their BXG fansites. I started looking for some references and then realized it was not something I have time for or interest in. I'm not here to give a comprehensive analysis anyway, I'm just here to give a simple-ish answer to your question. If others want to discuss that in the notes, that's fine.

So, hopefully some of that background info will have answered parts of your question, and gives you more tools to evaluate things on your own moving forward.

Part 2 - Global Fever

As for Global Fever specifically, well... Global Fever is one of the most treasured BXG in the entire fandom. This dedicated fan has been following GG and DD BOTH, since they debuted. She is more than just a CP fan, she's been a supporter of their individual careers since day 1.

Yes, since back when Yibo was still the White Peony.

She became a CP fan in the natural way - by seeing her faves work together on The Untamed, by watching them interact and by following them and their careers. No, she doesn't work for their teams (they both have dedicated teams of their own, and they don't need to pay fansites who - after all - will do this stuff for free). It's just that she's recognizable to GG and DD because she's been a fixture in their lives for so many years.

And this is something solos need to get their heads around: BXG are fans too. I think there's this conceit among solos that THEY'RE GG and DD's fans and BXG are something else, but in reality (and, no doubt, in the eyes of GG and DD) BXG are their fans too.

Never could that be more apparent than when a dedicated fan like Global Fever jiejie is calling 'Zhanzhan, jiayou!' and 'byebye!' as he's boarding an elevator on the way to the stage. Of course GG recognized her and smiled at her. Of course.

[ovaryacted]

Might be a bit iffy because I don’t know if this leans into the omegaverse thing you mentioned in an earlier ask, but re2r Leon with a puppy kink, being embarrassed about it because he thinks it’s weird and then him and reader just slowly easing into it…fluffy smut I guess???

Idk I just say whatever random shit pops up into my head sometimes😭 (but also just re2 Leon reminds me of a scruffy little dog and I know damn well I’m not the only one) -🐏

MDNI/18+. NSFW.

Hey, ram anon! So the omegaverse is different, involves genetic stuff with mates and the whole alpha, beta, and omega dynamics that people like to explore. Real Wattpad and Tumblr vets know what I'm talking about (that was a crazy time LMAOOOO). BUT, pet play is an actual kink that people have and I think that is what you're describing! Personally, I wasn't a big fan of pet play in a literal sense (because you live and you learn more about stuff so your opinion can change), and now I don't think it's so bad because there are many ways to mess around with kinks as a whole.

If it were up to me, pet play would be very fun, especially involving RE2R Leon. He gives pathetic puppy dog vibes and will always be at his partner's beck and call even if it comes off as embarrassing because he doesn't realize it's a kink that he enjoys. I think for him in particular, the whole dom/sub role exploration is what would get him off with the addition of a lot of praise.

It really starts with the pet names, where Leon would be praised for doing things he didn't think would actually matter. Doing a good job at work? You tell him you're proud of him. He's been doing good keeping up his routine? You remind him how good he is, and how taking care of himself makes you happy. He fucks you the way you want and makes you feel good? You praise him for doing that and call him a good boy for following your orders.

Leon doesn't realize that your ability to just acknowledge his accomplishments no matter how big and small makes him beam from ear to ear. It makes him feel good that you care about his presence in the first place, that you have this much control over his outlook on life. With every statement of validation you give him, he becomes more devoted to you, like a dog who has found their forever home. If he had a tail, it would be wagging from side to side, that's the best way to put it.

But when he finds himself more curious about why he likes your praising so much, he comes to terms with the fact that it's more than just you caring about him. To Leon, you are his escape, you keep him put together and grounded when the world gets to be too overwhelming. You have him wrapped around your finger and you know this, nor is he complaining about this fact anyway, that's what he wants, what he enjoys.

So when you come up with a proposition to help Leon figure out the best way to explore this new dynamic, he follows along, because he assumes you know best. Currently, he rests his head on your lap, your fingers running through his hair and raking through his scalp. It feels nice, better than good, and a rumble of a sigh slips out of him, reminiscent of a purr.

"That feels good baby?", you ask to him, and he can feel the tips of his ears growing hot at just the sound of your voice.

"Yeah, feels nice", he says with his eyes closed. He's trying to bask in your attention, in letting you pet or touch him however you wanted.

"Good. You can stay like that for however long you want", and of course, he's going to stay until he gets his fill. This was only the beginning of an introduction to something Leon would eventually need. Baby steps.

It takes a while to fully ease Leon into this new kink lifestyle. At first, he didn't think you'd be into it, would judge him for liking something out of the ordinary. But you're just as into it as he is, and it progresses the more you test the limits.

Now with his face in between your thighs, he licked at your cunt incessantly, lapping at it like his personal water bowl. Your hand remained in place at his head, holding him against you, and the other was curled around the leash that was connected to his neck. The suggestion of wearing a collar and leash in the bedroom would make some people raise their eyebrows, but not for you. You didn't expect Leon to be so enthusiastic about the idea, but the feeling of being yours was enough to make his body throb.

Leon's knees were planted to the floor as your legs slouched over his shoulders, his hands rubbing on the underside of them and pressing himself closer to where you needed him. The tip of his nose rubbed into your pulsing clit, his tongue caressing your inner walls as they clenched around him. Your hips moved towards his face, feeling him hum against you and whining when you pulled him away from your heat.

"How does that feel honey? Mama knows how to take care of her puppy no?", Leon looked up at you with hazy blue eyes, his tongue lolling against his plump lips and giving you a nod.

"Mhm, so good. Need more...please let me give you more", he nuzzled his face into your inner knee, placing a soft kiss to calm his own desires.

"Good boy. Make me cum and I'll fuck you after, a treat for being so good for me", the praise made Leon's cock twitch against his pelvis, your fingers pulling him back towards your dripping seam with a tug of the leash. He didn't waste any time, whimpering at the taste of your slick filling his mouth once more and his eyes fluttering closed again.

Anything to please his owner, anything to hear you praise him the way he craves. Being owned by you is where he belongs, ready to do whatever you said just so you can tell him he's a good boy, your good boy.

[midastouch013]

The 4 Times You Care For Her and The One Time She Comes To You

Summary: Exactly what's in the title. The 4 times you care for her and the one time she comes to you.

Warnings: Physical injuries (mild), Talks of trauma and nightmares. Feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Otherwise, this is just a fluffy comforting hurt/comfort fic

----

The 1st time

The apartment was a haven cloaked in subdued light when Natasha returned from a mission, her usual air of stoicism carrying the weight of a fresh wound on her side. You were absorbed in a book, engrossed in a world far removed from the shadows she navigated. The door creaked open, and you looked up to find Natasha, her expression betraying nothing.

"Are you okay?" you asked worriedly.

"You know, I've had worse," she said, a half-smile attempting to conceal the pain etched on her face.

"Maybe, but this one needs attention," you replied, putting the book down and motioning towards the makeshift infirmary in the corner of the room.

"I don't need a doctor, Y/N. I heal just fine on my own," Natasha protested, her usual stoicism intact.

"Even the strongest people need a helping hand sometimes," you countered, guiding her towards the examination table. As you prepared to clean the wound, the room filled with the antiseptic scent, setting the stage for a moment of vulnerability.

The quiet rhythm of stitching punctuated the room, Natasha's attempts at deflecting the situation with nonchalant conversation proving futile. She squirmed under your touch, a mix of discomfort and a stubborn desire to maintain her composure.

"I can handle pain," she insisted, though the tightness of her jaw suggested otherwise.

"I don't doubt that. But there's strength in allowing someone to share the burden," you replied, securing the last stitch. Natasha's gaze lingered, a silent acknowledgment that maybe, just this once, she didn't have to bear it all alone.

The room settled into a comforting quiet, and as Natasha's gaze met yours, she whispered a vulnerable "Thank you." With a playful smirk, you leaned in, "Just doing my duty, Doc. Next time, though, try not to bring back souvenirs from your missions."

The redhead simply smiled, leaning over to give you kiss

The 2nd time

The apartment's warmth contrasted sharply with Natasha's exhausted demeanor after a mission in a hostile climate. She brushed off your concern with a tired smile, but the thermometer in your hand betrayed the fever coursing through her veins.

"Just need some rest," Natasha murmured, attempting to push herself off the couch.

"Rest alone won't fix this," you said, pressing a damp cloth to her forehead. "You need more than solitude."

"I'm used to it," Natasha admitted, her eyes flickering with a vulnerability rarely shared. "But I suppose a bit of company won't hurt."

Her protests waned as the hours passed, the fever gradually relenting under your care. Natasha, usually the unyielding Black Widow, lay on the couch, looking more like a person with needs than a formidable warrior.

"Stubbornness won't always keep you strong," you remarked, sitting by her side.

"I'm not being stubborn, and who said anything about trying to stay strong"

"Accepting care is a strength of its own, Nat," you replied softly, despite her defensive tone. In that moment, the shadows of her resistance gave way to a soft light—the first step in acknowledging that even the most formidable warriors needed someone to tend to their wounds. With a smirk, you added, "Besides, even superheroes need a super cool sidekick sometimes, right?"

The 3rd time

Weeks passed, and Natasha, usually the master of hiding her vulnerabilities, found herself wrestling with nightmares that lingered long after the mission had ended. One night, the echoes of her dreams woke her in a cold sweat. Silently, she slipped into the living room where you were engrossed in a book, unaware of the turmoil unfolding within her.

"Bad dreams?" you asked, sensing the weight in her footsteps.

Natasha nodded, a rare vulnerability flickering in her eyes before she returned to her stoicism. "No"

"Nat" you sighed, "Everyone has nightmares, you can trust me" you say softly, your gaze meeting hers with understanding. Natasha hesitated, the fortress around her momentarily lowered.

You opened your arms for her to crawl into, which she did, burying her face in your neck and gripping you with her hands, as your arms wrapped around her, as you hummed gently, lulling her back to sleep.

The following nights were a symphony of silence and uneasy slumber. One such night, she had denied to share the comfort you offered, instead opting to sit up against the headboard as you sat beside her, your presence a silent comfort, allowing her to think herself. The vulnerability etched on Natasha's face was a rare crack in the fortress.

"They don't usually get to me, but lately..." she finally said

"Lately, they've found their way past your defenses," you finished her sentence, your tone soft and understanding. Natasha hesitated, her guard momentarily lowered. You intertwined your fingers as she leant her head on your shoulder

Through whispered reassurances and shared silences, the nightmares slowly loosened their grip. Natasha, still reluctant to admit the depth of her struggles, found an unexpected solace in the safety of your presence. The unraveling threads of her guarded emotions began to weave a new narrative—one where vulnerability became a source of strength.

The 4th time

Natasha's life was a perpetual storm, her emotions buried beneath layers of steely resolve. Recognizing the toll it took on her, you gently persuaded her to take breaks. These moments, however, were met with resistance.

"I don't need breaks, Y/N. I can handle it," Natasha protested, her words a shield against the vulnerability she sought to avoid.

"Handling it doesn't mean doing it alone," you countered, placing your hands on your hips signifying there was no room for discussion.

In the stolen moments, the two of you discovered the art of finding peace amidst the chaos. Laughter echoed in the quiet spaces, and shared silences spoke louder than words. Despite her initial reluctance, Natasha found that strength wasn't just in facing the storm but also in finding moments of calm within it.

The quiet moments became a refuge—a place where Natasha could shed the layers of her tough exterior. Amidst the chaos of her life, your shared laughter and quiet conversations created a haven. Natasha, accustomed to the roar of battles, slowly learned to appreciate the beauty in the whispers of stillness.

Through these stolen moments, the tapestry of your relationship grew, weaving threads of peace and understanding into the fabric of your lives. Natasha, though still guarded, began to find solace in the simplicity of shared moments. The fortress around her heart started to crumble, brick by brick, revealing the vulnerable core beneath.

The one time she comes to you for comfort

The apartment was bathed in a soft glow as you immersed yourself in your book, unaware of the storm brewing within Natasha. The weight of a recent mission's emotional toll manifested in her weary steps. She stood before you, a crack in her stoic facade.

"I'm supposed to be stronger than this," Natasha's voice was barely audible, but the vulnerability echoed through the room.

Startled, you looked up from your book to find Natasha standing before you, her mask of resilience slipping. Without a word, you closed the book and made space for her on the couch, silently tapping the empty space beside you for her to join you.

"I don't want to burden you," Natasha admitted, her voice tinged with vulnerability, after she had taken her seat beside you.

"You're not a burden, Natasha. You're human," you replied softly, your gaze meeting hers with unwavering support. In that moment, the fortress around her heart crumbled, revealing the raw emotions she had long kept hidden.

Tears welled in Natasha's eyes as she allowed herself to break, the weight of her burdens lifting with each shared confession. You listened, offering no judgment or solutions, but simply the comforting presence of someone who cared. Through the emotional storm, a sense of release emerged, and Natasha found that vulnerability didn't diminish her strength—it added a layer of resilience she hadn't known she possessed.

And so, with that, as you cradled her in your arms, you turned on Friends, watching her as she watched and laughed at the show. Planting the occasional kiss on her forehead

As the evening wore on, the echoes of Natasha's emotional turmoil faded into the quiet of the night, replaced by a newfound sense of peace. In that shared moment of vulnerability, the bond between you deepened, anchored by the understanding that even the strongest souls needed a shoulder to lean on from time to time.

--

[fourmoony]

Hiii I hope your doing well !!! I was wondering If you could do james and reader (established relationship) where they are out together somewhere with new people and (like me) reader has a lovely thing called anxiety, I feel like he'd notice right away despite being the opposite. (I'm a sucker for james entirely i need some sweet encouragement from him) I don't know what it is but I tend to feel totally invisible and lonely in Public places, despite being with friends or ppl that i do know. For some reason ppl tend to acknowledge everyone else n leave me out, which I've struggled with for a very long time unfortunately !!

So if you can somehow incorporate that, for me and anyone else who's ever felt that way, that would be great :)) I'll leave it up to youu ♡♡ p.s. I'm obsessed with ur writing

thanks for requesting, angel! <3 1.6k f!reader modern!au

as someone with an overwhelming friend group, learning the difference between not being included and having friends who will just talk into the abyss and if you can keep up, cool, was key lmao

James' hand hasn't left your thigh since you sat down at the table, a sweet encouragement that you relish in. It's a grounding touch, encouraging squeezes here and there when you manage to involve yourself in the conversation. Even when your food had been served, James' touch didn't falter as he stabbed rather uncoordinatedly at his pasta with his left hand.

His thumb moves in small circles against the inside, a distracting touch only in that his hand is dangerously close to disappearing under your skirt. You worry someone will see, get the wrong idea, and that will just send you spiralling for weeks, the awkwardness heavy in your chest. You're an over-thinker, you analyse everything, every movement, every tick of someones jaw, the light of their eyes, the tone of their voice. It's a blessing and a curse, really, your ability to instantly sense change within someone.

You can't help but notice the way that the conversation has carried on without you. Sirius and Remus are bickering, a fire in their eyes that you know very well means they're enjoying it despite their exasperated stances. Further down the table, Lily, Mary, Dorcas, and Marlene are gossiping about someone they went to school with, yelling excited agreements about the person in question, the injustices they must have committed against the girls. Even Peter is louder than normal, caught in a heated debate with James about the upcoming Six-Nations game.

There's not a conversation happening that you feel equipped to join, nor one you've been outright included in. James has assured you multiple times, too many times, in your opinion, that his friends are just loud. You know this - knew this when you agreed to dinner. You love them all. They've always been kind, never cruel. But in the lulling moments, where you realise just how much of an outsider you are in comparison to a group of people who've known each other for over ten years. They grew up together, learned valuable lessons together, have memories that were key, intrinsic moments in their lives. They have a history that you're not a part of.

Sometimes, that feels impossible to compete with. Even when James reminds you that his friends aren't not talking to you, they're just... talking. They're the kind of people to talk to fill a silence, and if you're listening, great. James often calls it 'talking into the abyss'. None of his friends ever actually require a response when talking, they're the kind of people to just keep going until interrupted. Sometimes, even when interrupted.

The table is a loud cacophony of everyone interrupting each other and it has your palms slick and pulse beating in your neck.

The waiter has long since abandoned trying to get you all to close out, even as the dessert plates have been cleared and all that's left are the half-empty, warmed glasses of various alcohols that remain on the table. James must feel you shift in your seat, because he squeezes your thigh in acknowledgement, his eyes flicking away from Peter for half a second. When they land on you, his head turns, conversation long forgotten. Peter doesn't seem fussed, just turns to try and split up whatever row Sirius and Remus are pretending to have.

"All good?" James asks, eyes soft.

His brows are hooked in the middle where they're furrowed, body shifting to face you easier. You nod, lips rubbing against each other. You're scared to talk, scared to be betrayed by your own voice. You've held your own most of the night, you don't want James to forcibly enter you into a conversation. It's not fair on him to have to deal with you, like this.

You should know better, though. James only frowns. It doesn't suit him. Your boyfriend is bright like the summer sun, always smiling, always cheerful. He's the colour between yellow and bright, pure light. Frowning doesn't suit him. It hurts your heart.

His head dips, close to your ear, voice soft as he asks, "You wanna head home?"

"No," You shake your head, frown matching his, "No, Jamie. I'm okay."

His lips press to your cheek, soft and warm, and then he smiles. The heavy feeling in your chest eases a little, just looking at him. James often thinks he has to be proactive to help you in difficult social situations. You've never had the guts to tell him all he has to do is smile real nice at you and just a smidge of that grey cloud budges.

James groans, loud and obnoxious and makes a show of stretching. You avoid looking pointedly at the way his top pulls up his waist at the movement, heat swirling in your cheeks from the mere idea of his skin being on show. Conversations halt for the impending goodbye, and you swear you see relief on Remus' face at not having to be the first to bear the bad news marking the end of the night. He gives you a warm smile that you return, another smidge of that anxiety lifting.

"You off?" Sirius asks over his pint glass.

James nods, "Shattered, yeah."

There's a mixture of goodbye's to both you and James as you sling your coats on. James makes half-hearted plans to see everyone at some point over the next week, gives both of your cuts for dinner to Sirius in cash, squeezes your hand in delight when Lily declares that she'll text you tomorrow to see about coffee. There's a look in her eyes that says she hopes this time you'll accept. She's asked multiple times, sometimes through James, sometimes texting you, herself. She never seems put out when you politely give her some excuse or other, never asks questions as to why the idea jars you so much. You're glad, because you wouldn't have an answer as to why.

The air is cool against your flushed skin when James holds the door and ushers you outside. The sky has turned a dark, midnight blue and you silently wonder how long you actually spent inside the little restaurant. The door swings closed and James is at your side, hand immediately in yours and spreading a calm warmth all over you.

"They really love you, you know?" James speaks thoughtfully.

You should've known your boyfriend would want you to talk about it. You've never had anyone who cares enough, before. But you're trying. Same as he is.

"I love them too. You just," You sigh, shoes scuffing along the pavement as you walk towards James' flat, "You know how I get after too much social interaction."

Your boyfriend hums in acknowledgement, thumb rubbing a soothing pattern across the back of your hand. "I know, lovie. I just wanted to remind you."

"I'm sorry we had to leave."

James halts walking, tugging you back until you're facing him. A passer by mutters something under their breath at the two of you standing in the middle of the street. James doesn't pay them any mind, but your pulse thunders for a fraction of a second at the risk of conflict. James squeezes your hand, "You don't have to apologise. I'm happy you came, and I was ready to leave, anyway."

"You didn't say anything until you noticed I wasn't talking to anyone, though." You counter.

James is silent for a moment, trying to garner the words. Then, "I love when you involve yourself in conversations with my friends. It makes me happy to see you all together. But I'll never force you to do more than you're willing to. We were in there for three hours, love. Any normal person would be exhausted of them, by then."

You huff a laugh, turning to pick up a walking pace again. James follows, allowing the silence to overcome you both as you think of a response. He's so patient, always so patient and sacrificial. You wonder if he'll ever tire of that. The thought scares you.

"Is it too much, for you?" You ask, then clarify, "To feel like you're always keeping an eye on me, saving me from social situations just because I can't function normally."

James' immediate answer is No.

Simple. Plain. It's all the answer you need, but he goes on, anyway.

"Everyone has their thing. Remus is a lot like you. Sirius brings him out of his shell, sure. It's why they're always bickering. But for years, Remus used to just... brood. Wouldn't talk, just observe. Maybe for different reasons, but it was the same thing. He's still here."

You smile. Remus has always been rather lovely to you, almost like he knew, somehow, that his friends can be overwhelming. That social settings can be overwhelming. "So it doesn't annoy you?"

You feel like a child asking for reassurance, but you know James will always give you it, no questions asked. And he means it, too.

"Never. You take part in as much as you want, I'll never be upset with you for saying you've had enough." He tells you, his flat appearing in the near distance.

"I think I'll go for coffee with Lils this week." You announce, feeling pleasantly calm with the admittance.

It doesn't send a spike of anxiety through you like it did when she first asked. Not when you know James won't be cross if you have to leave early, or call him from the bathroom for a get-out. If you become exhausted, if you don't want to be social anymore, it'll be okay. You're sure Lily will understand. You hope she will.

As much as an effort as James' friends have made with you, you feel it necessary to make some in return.

"She'll be over the moon, love." James says, pulling you closer to his side and pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

You smile at the affection, feeling the clouds lift as though James' personality singlehandedly batted them all away. The sun after a storm. You're grateful for it. For him.

[fdelopera]

Bigoted white Karen with a large online platform produces an overly long YouTube video where she spreads lies, conspiracy theories, and slander against an ethnic minority group that has been persecuted for over 2000 years. When she is called out for her bigotry, she doubles down and produces a four-hour hit piece against this ethnic minority group, which is riddled with disinformation, mistakes, and more lies.

Then when she's called out again on this four-hour rant, she pulls the "I have a ____ friend," and she claims that she consulted with two members of the ethnic minority group that she is slandering. Like a fucking coward, this white Karen hides behind the two people she claims to have spoken to. Moreover, she refuses to see the bigotry in tokenizing the two members of this ethnic minority group who agree with her white Karen ass.

Then when this white Karen is called out even further for spreading bigoted disinformation, she pulls a James Somerton, and she starts deleting parts of her videos without apologizing for the harm she has caused. And like James Somerton, she also deletes comments from people who point out her lies.

This is a clear-cut case of a bigoted white woman with a large online following trying to slander an ethnic minority group.

.

What I am describing, of course, is Jessie Gender's recent Jew-hate diatribes on her YouTube channel, but I have written it in a way that YOU, dear reader, get to find out if you are an antisemitic bigot too.

Read the above paragraphs knowing that I am talking about Jews, and see how you react.

Do you acknowledge that Jessie Gender's videos are filled with antisemitic bigotry and disinformation? Or do you equivocate and make excuses for her, once you know that I'm talking about Jews?

.

Dear reader, I am giving you an opportunity to learn from Jessie's mistakes. The best way to combat bigotry is to do exactly the opposite of what Jessie has done. Here are five suggestions:

1) Acknowledge that you are engaging in antisemitic bigotry. Admitting your own deeply rooted prejudice against Jews can sometimes be the hardest part. The very first step in combatting bigotry is to say (and mean!) five important words: "I'm. Sorry. I. Was. Wrong."

2) Don't tokenize Jews. Don't just look for two Jews who agree with your bigoted viewpoints. Instead, actually talk to many different Jews, including many Israeli Jews, to get a nuanced perspective of the struggles that Jewish people face.

3) When Jewish people (who are not the Jews you've tokenized) tell you, "Hey, you're being a bigot," actually listen to us! Don't discount us. Strive to learn from us. Don't double down on your prejudice.

4) Combat your own egotism. If you are an egotistical asshole like Jessie, when someone tells you, "Hey, you're being a bigot, and your bigotry is putting Jewish people's lives in danger," your first response may be to say, "No I'm not! How dare you call me a bigot!" This is a knee-jerk reply, and it comes from a place of hubris. Instead of doubling down, learn how to apologize. Then do the active work to listen to Jews so that you're not contributing to the Jew-hate that we face.

Remember, the five words that an egotistical person like Jessie struggles to say are: "I'm sorry. I was wrong." Don't be like Jessie. Be better.

5) Look at the company you are keeping. Maybe you're hanging out with Leftists who have secretly been watching Neo-Nazi videos, and they've been feeding you antisemitic talking points that actually come from far-right white supremacists like David Duke and Richard Spencer. Or maybe your Leftist friends have been scraping their Jew-hate rhetoric from Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which is still used as a textbook throughout the Arab world. Or worse, maybe your Leftist friends have stolen their ideas word-for-word from Hitler's Mein Kampf.

If you spout Nazi rhetoric (and so many of you Hamasniks sound EXACTLY like Hitler), then guess what! Congratulations! You are a Jew-hating bigot!

This is a quote from Hitler's Mein Kampf, from 1925. And it could just as easily come from the mouth of a Hamasnik as it could from a Neo-Nazi today. Next year, it will be 100 years since Mein Kampf was published, and it feels like the Hamasnik movement has dragged us full circle, back to Nazi Germany:

The Jews domination in the state seems so assured that now not only can he call himself a Jew again, but he ruthlessly admits his ultimate national and political designs. A section of his race openly owns itself to be a foreign people, yet even here they lie. For while the Zionists try to make the rest of the world believe that the national consciousness of the Jew finds its satisfaction in the creation of a Palestinian state [aka a Jewish State in the British Mandate of Palestine -- 99 years ago in 1925, when Hitler published Mein Kampf, Jews in Eretz Yisrael were called Palestinians], the Jews again slyly dupe the dumb Goyim. It doesn’t even enter their heads to build up a Jewish State in Palestine [again, Palestine was the word Hitler was using for the British Mandate of Palestine, aka Eretz Yisrael] for the purpose of living there; all they want is a central organization for their international world swindle, endowed with its own sovereign rights and removed from the intervention of other states: a haven for convicted scoundrels and a university for budding crooks. - Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

Yo Jessie Gender! Guess what, there's a cure if you find yourself sounding like Hitler! It's called EDUCATE YOUR DAMN SELF, YOU FUCKING BIGOT.

In conclusion, if you find yourself being a Jew-hating bigot on main, just remember this: the first step in overcoming your antisemitic prejudice is ADMITTING that you are a bigot.

Use Jessie's example as a warning. When people call you out for spreading Jew-hate and putting Jewish lives around the world in danger, don't double down. Instead, begin by saying these five vital words: "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

[waldau-archived]

it's just us — boo seungkwan | 1,672 words | fluff, hurt/comfort

uri boo :) title comes from his lovely cover of as it was by harry styles. sometimes you need to realize that there are people who actually want to listen to what you want to say, as i learned the hard way. also, seungkwan 💞

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

seungkwan's hands are almost trembling when he slots the key into the lock of his door. they are trembling, but he doesn't want to let himself believe it. because if he does, he's going to have to acknowledge the fact that he can't get through tonight without seeing you in some way or the other. he doesn't want you worrying over him because he always wants to be taking care of you, not the other way round.

with a deep inhale, he opens the door of his house and prepares to spend another lonely night by himself. maybe you'll be free just long enough to talk to him on video call for a while. that has to suffice till you get back.

seungkwan doesn't expect to see the lights on, or smell something delicious on the stove.

he doesn't even have the time to worry about an intruder in his house because you walk out into the living room from his bedroom, towelling your hair dry. you're supposed to be in paris, for work. you're not supposed to be here, in his place, looking like everything he needs right now.

"hey, kwannie," you say, dropping the towel on the back of a chair and making your way to him. "i know this is sudden, but we wrapped up the conference earlier than expected. i thought i'd come here and stay the night. i hoped you wouldn't mind."

of course it's okay. it's more than okay. but seungkwan can't believe you chose to come to his place after what must have been a tiring week. he doesn't trust himself to speak, but you're still speaking.

"...something for you, i hope you like...kwannie? you okay?"

you're there when he takes shaky steps forward, unsure of what to do with himself. he wants to hug you, kiss your face a million times till you push him away with a laugh, wrap you in his arms and just exist with you, breathing in and out.

instead all he does is kick off his shoes and collapse on the couch. he doesn't want to talk about it. can't, not when you've come back to him after a week away. surely you don't want to listen to why his day was bad. you've even made dinner, for crying out loud.

"kwannie?"

"i'm fine," he says. he thinks you know how untrue it is.

"anything i can do for you?"

"no." he wants to be held by you, but he's scared the facade he's put up is going to come crashing down the moment he's in your arms.

"you sure? are you hungry? do you want me to pick your favourite movie with dinner? run you a bath?"

"i said no."

"but—"

"please, can you not?" he snaps. he doesn't mean to. he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, given that they do little to dispel the burden in his chest. and now he's ended up hurting you, too.

you say nothing, simply walking away to the kitchen. fuck, seungkwan thinks. he shouldn't have said a word. he's wanted you all day long, and he's so lucky you're here, but the first thing he's done is snap at you?

he sinks sideways to hide from you, and before he knows it, there's tears streaming down his face. he's been holding them in for long enough that they don't stop even when you come out of the kitchen, sitting next to him and resting a hand on his thigh.

"kwan," you say softly. "come here?"

seungkwan lets himself be pulled into your embrace, his head resting on your chest while your arms pull him closer. he wants to sink into you forever.

"is this okay?" you ask, pushing his hair from his face. he can finally see you clearly. you don't look upset, or annoyed, or anything he feared you'd be.

"yeah."

one of your hands comes up to wipe the tears from his face. "bad day?"

he nods. "i'm sorry i—"

"shh. i know. want to talk about it?"

"not now."

"that's okay. do you want to hear about my day instead?"

that's what seungkwan loves about you — you always manage to find a solution. whether it's working out what to do when the lights go out, or when you run out of something you should have bought from the supermarket last week, you're level-headed, and he really needs that right now.

he settles himself more comfortably in your embrace, blinking out the rest of his tears while your fingers catch them and wipe them off, your hands still around him.

he listens to you talk about the weather in paris, your weird colleague who wouldn't stop singing during the board meeting, the food you had — it's all mundane stuff, but it helps to ground him. you're here for the night, and you're not going anywhere.

"i missed you every single day there," you sigh, your chin resting on his head. he can feel the slight drip of water from your hair, but he doesn't mind. "every time i took a picture i thought of you."

"really?" he asks, rhetorically.

"yeah. maybe we should go to paris the next time you're free. there's so many things i think you'd like. also, i got you some croissants, but they're probably rock solid by now," you say with a grimace. "maybe the oven can help."

"maybe."

there's silence for a while before you murmur his name in a questioning tone. seungkwan buries himself just a bit more into you, not wanting to have the conversation he knows is inevitable.

"i'm not...asking you to tell me what happened, but i want you to know you can, okay? you're always there to listen to me and it's kind of unfair if i can't be the same person for you."

seungkwan breaks a bit at that. you're not pushy; you just want him to be fine. he's anything but a hypocrite. he thinks of all the times he opens his arms to you, wanting to listen to everything that's bothering you till you feel better. so he shouldn't shy away from being like that with you, right?

"do you really want to hear me talk about...stuff?"

"yes." to emphasize your point, you push your leg under his and curl it towards yourself, effectively trapping him in place on top you. "i'll not let you go."

he feels a giggle come up. "then don't."

and you don't. you reach for the throw near the armrest of the sofa and drape it over the two of you. it's like time stops for seungkwan — all he's aware of is you underneath him, your breath even. he tries to match your breathing.

"have you been sleeping well?"

seungkwan could lie, say that he has, but he thinks you know the answer. "no," he says, refusing to look at you. "missed you."

you sigh, running your hand through his hair. "kwannie, you have to. you know i can't always be with you, right?"

"then move in with me," he says, before he can fully think about it. "i'm sorry, i didn't think—"

"i'd love to," you say, pressing a kiss to his head. "but i want you to say it with a clear mind, okay? i don't want this to feel like you're forced."

"i'm not...i want you to move in. but not right now."

"ask me again later?"

it's not the first time seungkwan marvels at how lucky he is to have someone like you in his life. you're his, and while he's gotten used to the permanency of you in his life, topics like moving in and getting married are still there on the far horizon. he hadn't given them much thought until now, but he can see them happening with you.

he finds his words. "i will. it's just...i'm tired. i'm out there all the time, you know? always working. sometimes i feel like i work too hard to get people to really see me."

"you wish you didn't have such an active role sometimes?"

"yeah. i just want to take a break, but i can't. sometimes i feel nothing i ever do will be enough."

you don't say anything, simply rubbing his back. he feels better already, letting it out, because he knows what he's saying isn't really true — it's just that one part of him that keeps popping up from time to time.

"you know it's not true, right?" you ask when he shifts. "you've done so much you should be proud of yourself for. hell, i'm so proud of you every single day. and the fact that you're my boyfriend is possibly one of the best things that's ever happened to me. you've made me realize there's so many things i can improve about myself, and i can't thank you enough for that, kwannie. if your day's been bad you should know i'm always here for you, even if it's through a phone. i love you. always."

seungkwan nods. i love you, he means to say. thank you for everything. he presses a kiss to your neck, and then another, revelling in the warmth of your skin. you understand his silent words, like he hoped, pulling him closer. you rest like that till your stomach grumbles, which is when you push him away embarrassedly and sit up.

"let me plate dinner," seungkwan says, glad to find his voice is steady. he gets up, but you catch his hand before he leaves.

"i know you have work tomorrow, but when you're done, do you want to come to my place so we can spend the weekend together? we don't have to do anything. just...live. for two days. forget everything outside. maybe actually talk about moving in together."

he feels a smile come up. "i'd...really like that."

he knows it doesn't get easy in just a blink of an eye, but the weight on his shoulders is always less when he's with you.

[astroariska]

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT 8TH HOUSE" DICTIONARY THREAD

Astrology threads sometimes way too confusing. There are so many words that just come out there and make us wonder what we supposed to do then??? It made people think impractical to make astrology into your daily lifes because it's hard to be understood.

Have no fear. I am here to give you a mini thread about the 8th house.

Transformation : What the hell is this word? We never really use this world in our daily lives, isn't it? But really. Transformation is about realizing you need to ELIMINATE that shitty behaviour you didn't want to tell everybody that it's a part of you annd the reason why there is some drama in your life and REPLACE it with a better attitude.

Intimacy. It's not about getting that bombastic sex with your partner. It's about you realizing ... After all the shit and the shot you've been through ... All you need is that person and all you wish is that person to stay with you through thin and thick while wishing life could be better for you.

Power struggle : Simply the imbalance of the relationship that makes you feel you less than equal. Either it makes you feel you work it all or makes you feel you are so fucking useless. This imbalance, let your heart have the urge to solve it out while your heart cannot even simplify the problem within you two.

Inheritances : Doesn't always about money. Sometimes it's about debt. Sometimes it's about what the good, the bad and the ugly shit you share with your parental figure, caretaker or even another family member.

Rebirth : When you are realizing you are not the same anymore after shit happens. When you are realizing the current version of you is really way too different than the old version of you.

Power : Influence over someone, something or a cause that makes a really noticeable change in physical, material, phsycological, spiritual and mental of other people.

Bonus a mini thread about zodiac in 8th house.

Aries 8th house : You hate to acknowledge you are too offensive. But you do have a reason. Acknowledge it now and change the offensive feeling into more passionate attitude as a sign of leadership. Know the differences when you try to give support or just hate to see other being a competitor.

Taurus 8th house : You are way too rigid, slow, stubborn and sometimes ... a boring basic bitch that keeps repeating the same pattern in order to keep you same. It's okay. You've been through a lot. But maybe, you need to change the value that you hold because changing yourself is actually way easier than changing the world?

Gemini 8th house : The best advice to this placement is ... okay, sometimes it feels so good to process everything with your own logic. Math is mathing but you'll end up more anxiouse and less consistence than ever. Maybe it's because you're hard to gain focus but it's a signal you need more dynamic approach so your emotional life could be more interesting than just a typical sadness.

Cancer 8th house : Oh, do you hate feeling vulnerable? Do you think you're weak? What about realizing that your care and your need for nurture is the sign of you being a human being instead of feeling insecure about feel something inside you? Your feeling shows you that you are alive. OWN IT AS YOUR POWER and NOT YOUR FLAW.

Leo 8th house : You're tired of being strong and lead all the time, don't you? But please, just because you're trying to be strong for a long time then you justify all the drama you've punch in people's face. You just need to realizing that sometimes ... The rage is coming from your wounded little child in you that unhappy for the longest time. Remember that when you happy, you gain power.

Virgo 8th house : Oh, snap! You MADE A MISTAKE! Is it small? Is it big? You analyze it until you paralyzed yourself. But honey, mistake were made for you to learn by doing. Instead of punching yourself and hyper-analyze it inside your head, use your mistake to serve those who you love as a lesson that you need to share.

Libra 8th house : Sometimes, it's scary to be lonely but it's more haunting to be with the wrong people and trapped forever with them. But whatever the reason, don't you ever think that you have no right to get the partnership you really wish. You just need to understand that you don't need to please anybody to make them stay. Cheaters always cheat. Haters gonna hate.

Scorpio 8th house : You want to end this life because you feel you can't handle it anymore? But you didn't want everybody know that you're dying inside ... While you actually understand that the key of your life is to breath out your fear and insecurity.

Sagittarius 8th house : It's easier to run away, pack your bag, ghost everybody then pretends like you are the chillest person in the room instead to face how big the mess you need to tidy up. Sometimes is easier to tell people what to do rather to tell yourself what you need to do. When shit comes down, come into your higher self and find the meaning of it. Everything happen for a reason. It's happening not to you, but for you.

Capricorn 8th house : Numbing feeling and hardship makes you out of a breath. I swear, you need a mentor and become more diciplined in your way through because that's the only thing you could do to master this life. Every pain worth the gain.

Aquarius 8th house : If you're feeling like you're out of place, had nobody to stand with you or feeling alienated ... Maybe it's not because people suck. Maybe because your decision was made based how you quickly disengage and diconnected from people you love as you had 0 trust in them. Instead of feeling like you're the black sheep. Channel your brain competency into finding the right purpose, dream and community you're aspire to.

Pisces 8th house : Just because something ends, doesn't mean your life end. Remember. You're not rejected. You're redirected. You're in pain because life will challanges you to take a new path and plant new seed because it's a sign of a fresh start and brand new day. Put your rose colored glass now, it might over but it's doesn't end something. Connect to yourself. You'll found out soon.

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

𝙴𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 - a Han Jisung short au!fanfic

-in which fast burn is actually slow burn that ends up with hearts breaking and words twisting and spit in your mouth.

"Oh-oh, talk fast, romance won't last, I'm okay with that oh-oh, burn, crash, romance Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you"

💫PART 1💫

You take a sip from your first and maybe last drink of the night as the guests slowly trickle out two by two. The music has toned down, the original 4 hours long playlist long replayed to its last song until Spotify almost seamlessly shifted to some calmer, ambience tracks you don't know the names of.

Changbin kisses his girlfriend goodbye one last time - even though it's the 5th time he says that - and then walks her upstairs as Seugmin busies himself trying to subtly clean up the place by throwing away empty paper plates and cups, being the good Virgo he is. Which is much appreciated by the Libra in the house, slightly intoxicated and relaxed Channie picks up a few napkins and grins at his friend, patting his back as a thank you as he walks past him to get to the trash can on the other side of the room.

Parties at Chan's where always nice, they had this chill, feel good vibes to them. People could literally show up in their pjamas and bring some chips and they would still be welcomed with open arms and cheers by the host who dubbed in between deejaying and entertaining his guests - and sometimes making out with that friend of a friend who got invited by either Changbin's or Jeongin's girlfriend.

Today was an exception. Only because Jeongin's partner was on a work trip and the last time Changbin's girlfriend introduced one her friends to Chan it actually stuck for once. They were actively seeing each other, but they were not official, as he would put it. She wasn't here today but he still decided not to interact with basically any other girl but you throughout the party.

Completely different story for Minho. He would stick his tongue in whatever throat he got at hand, grab any and every butt. You had to hold back your laugh when a few hours ago you saw him slightly panic when the girl he was making out with on the couch slapped HIS butt all of the sudden. Apparently it wasn't a welcomed gesture. He dropped her and orbited around his other friends for the remaining on the night, namely complaining about her to Chan and Han.

Han who merely acknowledged you these days. You sometimes caught him staring at you while you were talking to any of the other guys or acquaintances, but the moment you accidentally locked eyes with him he would avert his gaze, uneasiness creeping up your insides every time he did that.

You had met all the boys through Felix, he was your closest and dearest friend out of the whole group, and even though you felt very comfortable and safe around every one of them, you still considered him to be your best friend. You had known him for over ten years and grew up with him, you cherished your friendship very dearly.

Parties like these were your favorite cause they were sort of intimate and chill as most of the people there you already knew and the whole thing didn't require you to have to mingle and be all that social. You could happily spend the night sticking to easy going, comforting - arms always around your shoulders - Felix, or talking quietly to Hyunjin in between his outbursts of energy when he heard his favorite song playing and he just couldn't resist moving his body in the middle of the living area like nobody was watching.

"Alright, looks like everyone's gone home. Care for one last round of drinks before hitting the showers?", Chan spoke out loudly, gathering everyone around him as he grabbed some soju and held it up to everyone's mostly empty cups, "I'm good, I might just hit my sleeping bag actually", Seungmin replies, yawning a little, "oh come on don't be a party pooper, the night's still young", interjects Minho, snatching the bottle from Chan and pouring the alcohol for everyone who offered their cups, "the party IS over, Min. You guys are the last ones here. But ya'll sleeping over so it doesn't even count. Anyway... Cheers", argues Chan through a signature giggle.

Minho dawns his drink in one chug and makes a satisfied face along with a resounding "aah" afterwards, he's so cute but so random, definitely one of the weirder ones in the group, you think fondly to yourself while silently sipping. And he catches that. You're pretty sure he can't read your mind but the glint in his eyes when they lock with yours for that brief second you were thinking of him, gives you the odd feeling he managed to pick up on your silent thoughts: "we should play spin the bottle", he announces mischievously.

Much to no one shock, an abundance of "what the hell - why the fuck would you suggest we do that - Minho shut up you're drunk" an another string of curses follows his suggestion, with many of the guys faking disgusted faces and throwing up sounds.

You slap your forehead dramatically. It's like he knew you were thinking of him as a little adorable weirdo and he decided to play on that just then. Felix erupts into giggles and instinctively wraps his arm around your waist for support, he's a very light weight when it comes to drinking. He likes his alcohol finer, sweeter and possibly more expensive than the cheap soju he's been sipping on, you can tell he's already a little tipsy by the way he sways lightly on his feet.

"What? You guys too scared to get a little tongue action?", Minho teases, giggling in high pitched little breaths as Hyunjin plasters his hand all over his mouth and face, "please stop talking", he mutters, rolling his eyes, "whee whe?", he continues, his voice muffled and distorted by the impediment on his face until he pries away the hand only to interlock fingers with the brunette who looks at him perplexedly, "why? Why not? It's just a game to end the night nicely, you prudes".

Chan giggles and sighs while Jeongin shakes his head in disbelief, "cause it's literally just us nine you pabo, and some of us have girlfriends, and y/n is the only other girl here", he explains in fake frustration, "yeah I'm sure y/n wouldn't like to be thirsted after like some piece of meat to end her night", adds Changbin, to which you smile gratefully. Yet you're undeniably amused by the idea. Must be the alcohol you promised yourself you weren't going to drink much of. Which was still true to a point. You weren't even tipsy. Just a little amused by the silliest things.

"Fine. Changbin, Jeongin, Chan, feel free not play. More fun for us", rebukes Minho, slinging an arm around Seungmin on his side, who "ews" in his way, while still holding onto a progressively concerned Hyunjin who tries to unglue their fingers, "... I don't have a girlfriend", interjects Chan, scratching his neck nervously, Changbin shoots him daggers with his eyes only, "what about Lisa? Aren't you guys dating?", he eggs him on, "we're just seeing each other. No-", "no strings attached? You're just fuck buddies then, alright", Han cuts him off and everyone either mocks Chan or laughs at him.

"I was going to say it's just not that serious yet but... Moving on... I'm in, I don't care, I'm not too tired yet and it's just a game. An actual not strings attached game". Everybody looks at Chan with shocked expressions, yourself included. Except for Minho who just looks smug. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you Christopher Bahng or did someone clone you and send in the replacement?", comments Seungmin, only making everyone laugh more.

You feel Felix squirming a little, he finishes up his drink and takes a deep breath afterwards:"alright if Chan's in, I'm in", he declares and holds his hand up, Minho lets go of Hyunjin and high fives the blue haired boy, pulling him to his side, opposite you in the little circle you guys formed in the middle of the basement.

"You guys find each other cute? Cute enough to kiss?", Jeongin asks in bewilderment, most of the guys shrug, some make poker faces, Seungmin shouts a resounding NO while Chan giggles as he nods and winks at Felix who giggles with him.

Now now... You knew all of them felt very comfortable around each other, you had witnessed them being openly affectionate multiple times. You knew they liked to cuddle in piles and sometimes playfully grab at each other butts and stuff. It's not like you didn't expect them to randomly act out, you were just a little surprised about how the were slowly all coming around after initially shutting down Minho's idea so vehemently.

"I'm so going to regret this ugh", Hyunjin exclaims, joining the favorable group, Changbin sighs and crushes his plastic cup in his hand, "now how can I pass up the chance to finally kiss you, my prince", he says dramatically, blowing a kiss to the tall brunette who giggles loudly as he tilts his head back. "I love how everyone thought I was insane yet you're all crawling now. And y/n hasn't even agreed yet", comments Minho with an underliying victorious tone to his voice, "she doesn't have to", Han replies so lowly you're probably the only one who picks up on it.

And you don't miss the slight harshness in his tone. You knit your eyebrows at him, annoyance bubbling up at the base of your stomach as you lick the last drops of the soju in your cup and smirk, "yeah she doesn't have to but she will. Count me in", you declare fiercely, attracting a few astonished looks in your direction. Fuck it. You think. They were all attractive, kind hearted, good fucking people. Spin the bottle was just a stupid game and you felt safe and secure enough not to be afraid they'd disrespect you. Might as well enjoy a little fun.

Felix shoots you a curious look but stays silent, he blinks his pretty eyes and looks down for a brief second. "I hate you guys, I'm in. But I'm not kissing anyone with tongue". The cheers that follow Jeongin addition are so loud you have to cover your ears. "Seungmin, pup, join the dark side", Han prods the last of the group who looks utterly disgusted as he puckers up his lips and walks closer to him, "Jisung, stop that. I'll play, but no tongue for me also".

Chan pours out "an encouragement round" of tequila in tiny shots glasses, skipping on the few of you who refuse the liquid courage - you, Han, Seungmin and Felix - and then proceeds to invite everyone to sit down in a circle as he pulls out his phone.

"Okay. Here are the rules: we'll play three rounds, each a little more risqué than the last one, and I'll set a timer for each one. First round is a kiss on the cheek, second one is a peck on the lips and third one is a kiss that has to involve tongue, and has to last at least 30 seconds. If anyone's deeply uncomfortable at whatever point, they can pull out. Are we good? "

You find yourself sitting in between Hyunjin and Chan, with Minho and Felix sitting opposite you, next to Seungmin, Jeongin and Changbin while Han closes the circle on the other end, next to Hyunjin on one side and Minho on the other. A somewhat tense silence fills the room, if not for the quiet lofi music in the background, you can almost hear Hyunjin's stomach grumbling, the sound of your quickened breathing and swallowing once it downs on you there's quite a high chance you'll end up kissing Han.

You two weren't as close as the others. And not without reason. Truth was that when Felix introduced you to him, you felt the most intense sparkle crackling in your chest. You had clicked so fast and so well. And then you kissed and it all went crumbling down. You hadn't confessed your feelings for each other but a few years back on one wintery night while you were walking on one of your night walks through the park, he had kissed you.

You initially thought that was it, that was going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship with this guy who was the sweetest, funniest, smartest guy you had ever met. He was insanely attractive and played the guitar and the piano and knew how to rap and sing beautifully and you were definitely falling for him even though you had only known him for less than a year.

Instead he had went ghost after that night. And when you had confronted him about it, heartbroken as you were, he cited how it was a big mistake and that he wasn't thinking straight. Obliterating the countless nights and days you had spent as actual good friends and that later evolved in slight flirting and closeness overall. A few years had passed and you mostly kept it civil and discreet. Nobody knew about it except for Felix who you just couldn't keep this secret from, and you suspected Minho might have known about it too cause he was Han's closest link in the group besides Felix himself.

Tension had been building up and it was gruelling and undeniable to the four of you but everyone tried their best not to show it too much. You kept your distance, slowly trying to heal your heart. And it was hard, it was so hard cause you all hanged out all the time as a group, seeing that some of the guys were getting girlfriends also didn't help much. You longed to have someone care for you like that, that someone looked like he despised you with a passion though.

Chan is about to spin the bottle when Han stops him brusquely: "yah wait! What's the point of this whole game if anyone can just call it quits whenever? Isn't spin the bottle supposed to make everyone at least a slightly bit uncomfortable?", he quips, a smug look on his face as he looks around. The older brunette sighs and nods," that's a good point, actually...."," yeah I'm not making out with any of you guys. Juni wouldn't appreciate it", comments Changbin, "yeah neither am I", adds Jeongin, looking cross. Minho rolls his eyes in annoyance, "fuck guys it's just a game... Loosen up".

A little debate explodes right then and there, with everyone trying to talk over the other and the ensuing chaos that makes you laugh half heartedly when you notice Chan looking absolutely spent as he massages his temples. "You are all making it way more complicated than it needs to be. Stop being so hellbent over anything, Jesus!".

Calm and chilled out Chan surprises everyone when he shouts in order to get everybody's attention back to him, he slams his hands down on the floor and sighs once all eyes are on him," first two rounds are mandatory. You either play it fair or you're welcome to go to bed, I don't care at this point. Changbin, Jeongin, you're automatically excluded from the second and third round. Seungmin you either pray this bottle never fucking lands on you or you can use all my mouthwash later on. I have gallons. Now, can we do this stupid thing and then go to sleep? ".

Seeing that no one protests in response, Chan grins, pleased with his unwavering authority, and places the bottle directly in front of you: "since you're the only sensible one and the only girl too, you spin first", he declares. 8 distinct pair of either amused or mildly anxious eyes land on you, you can feel them all burning tiny holes in your face as they expectantly wait for you to break the ice.

The crimson heat rising to your chest and your neck and your cheeks definitely alerts everyone, yourself included, that the confidence you began this night with is now visibly fading, leaving your body like it never was there in the first place. You smile meekly and look down at the bottle, giving it a little spin, not too weak not too strong.

The elongated neck of the bottle ends up pointing at Felix. Relief washes over you. He smiles brightly at you and opens his arms wide for you, you crawl over to him, letting him embrace you slightly as you place a soft kiss to his cheek, making sure to exaggerate the sound of your lips smacking onto his freckled skin, which makes everyone laugh. Since he was on the receiving end of the first spin, Felix tries his luck next, the bottle spinning and spinning until it stops in front of Minho, "Yongbokah!!", the black haired boy chirps excitedly, repeatedly tapping the cheek Felix kisses in between giggles.

Minho's spin lands on Hyunjin, who fakes the saddest frown and scrunches his face dramatically when his overtly excited friend complies to the game. He then spins himself along with the bottle, looking so silly as he rotates on his bum:"wheeeeee who am I gonna kiss?", he asks no one in particular: the bottle lands on Jeongin. Oh boy.

The utter chaos and ooohhs and ahhhs and mocking and chants that ensue are loud enough for your ears to start ringing. While the youngest boy fake cries and whines profusely, Hyunjin makes the roundest kissy face and smacks his lips together, "MY BABY BOY, MY BABY BREAD COME HERE", he tackles Jeongin to the ground, laughing excitedly as he places what must be a wet kiss on his friend's cheek.

The traumatized maknae's spin ends on Chan, who laughs so much he starts squeaking. Jeongin curses under his breath and kisses his cheek half heartedly, "I'm so glad this torture ends for me now", he mutters, causing new laughter and squeaks to erupt in the basement. "Aaand time! First round is over", Chan resets the timer on his phone just as Jeongin takes his leave, waving everyone goodbye as he makes his way upstairs.

Changbin pouts sulkily, "I can't believe I lost both chances to kiss our prince and our baby", he whines, while the rest of the guys mock him playfully, Hyunjin laughs the most but still blows him a kiss that his friend pretends to catch and hold close to his heart. "I'll stay for the show until I pass out", he announces then, removing himself from the circle, going to then sit on the couch in the corner.

"Alright, this is where it gets interesting", Chan rubs his hands together and proceeds to start the timer and spin the bottle. You swallow a little nervously now, watching as the bottle spins on itself a few times until it slows down and inevitably comes to a stop: it stills at a weird angle, the narrower part of the neck pointing into the empty space between you and Hyunjin.

You lock eyes with him, uncertainty displayed across both of your faces, "I think it's y/n", says Seungmin, "mmh nah it's Hyune", contradicts Minho. Chan crawls over and frowns, he tilts his head and tries to look at the bottle from a different perspective, he steps over and around it with a confused look on his face, "I'll spin again, just for fairplay sake".

As the countdown ticks and ticks, the bottle spins again, Chan sits back down next to you and observes closely as the empty tequila finally stops. This time it points squarely at you. You inadvertently suck in a little breath. It's fine, you tell yourself. It's just Chan. Cute, cuddly, ever supportive and reliable Chan. You kissed each other on the cheek before on like birthdays and Christmas, no big deal.

He turns to you with an almost apologetic look on his face and smiles gently, "is this okay?", he asks quietly and you nod, "time, hyung", Minho cuts in, much to everyone's amusement, "what? Eager to kiss your next victim?", the aussie teases back before placing a kiss to your lips. It's gentle and quick, passes like a breeze.

Your hands are a little shaky now that you hold the bottle. And it's not from the kiss you just shared but the potential one you might get next. You give the bottle a little twist and then spin it more vigorously than the first time, squeezing your eyes shut. Not Han not Han not Han. "Oh... So it was fate, in the end".

Chan's voice echoes through your ears. You open your eyes to find the bottle pointing at Hyunjin who looks at you a little nervously, "seriously? The three of you might as well just play on your own", poor Changbin is fed up, he stands up from his spot and walks to the door, "I'm not watching someone else living out my dream, goodnight".

It takes everyone a few seconds to calm down from the giggles but when you all finally do and the impeding timer going off resurfaces in your mind, you quickly move onto Hyunjin. It was supposed to be you who initiates the kiss but he does it for you, his lips hands down the softest thing that has ever landed on you when he pecks your mouth slowly. When he spins next, it lands on Seungmin, who goes so pale and flabbergasted he might just pass out right there - "time!".

Everyone groans at Chan's announcement while the remaining youngest exhales in relief: "is my spin null? Do we restart the lap?", Hyunjin asks, "yeah I reckon. It ran out of time right when it landed. It's null. We start over", replies Chan, promptly placing the bottle in front of you, "me again?", you say confusedly, "yup. Hyunjin's turn was basically deleted. The loop begins from you again". Han hisses underneath his breath at this executive decision, while you can see Seugmin regaining color in his face, his features slightly more relaxed even if it's short lived.

Now you're really really nervous. You try not to show it but a strange mixture of excitement and anxiety swirls in your stomach and makes your heart pound when you give the bottle a strong flick, setting it off to spin again.

is this a cliffhanger? Am I doing this right🤔💀

🥀PART 2

[mandy-asimp]

the two year teacher

pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x black!fem!reader

warnings: language, smut, mentions of bullying, smut mommy kink, rough ish, cunnlings, fingering, love confession

summary: y/n is a very big CEO of her own company. and when her daughter comes home talking about her teacher she’s had for the second year in a row, y/n just goes with it. but when she meets a red head at the grocery store, she never would've put her as a teacher. then when y/n's daughter gets into a mishap, a lot happens

a/n: she has me kicking my feet and twirling my hair. im so deadass fr.

“Mommy! You’ll never believe it!” Your eight year old came running into your home office. You prepared for her to jump into your lap, so you opened up for her to not get hurt. “My teacher from last year is my teacher this year again!”

“Really?” You took all your attention onto her. “So you’ll know how to behave right? Be on your best behavior for her?”

You daughter nodded before running off again. “Hey Nance?” You called for your neighbor who was over for a drink. Smiling kindly as she appeared. “I’m gonna run out to go grab stuff to make dinner, can you watch Mimi?”

“Of course, I’ll have her play in the living room.” She softly nodded and walked away.

You saved your file and got ready to head out. And it was all fine and dandy, till you were at the store. You had planned to make your daughter’s favorite pasta, seeing as she was starting school tomorrow.

Just as you reached for the perfect tomato, your hand bumped into someone else’s. You looked up to meet the nicest green eyes, yet they held fire and furry.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Please,” you offered for her to go first. Watching as the fire and furry disappeared. She could only stare at you.

“Do I know you? You look incredibly familiar,” her voice. God you could’ve melted. The rasp, the accent, the volume. You could tell she saw the spark of curiosity run over your eyes.

You gave a small shrug, "Maybe I just one of those faces. Are you making Panzanella?"

Her curiosity for you sparked now. How could you look at her cart and just know? "Italian?" She softly whispered.

You caught it just barely, but didn't acknowledge it at all. Instead you grabbed a few more tomatoes and went on with a smile.

She swore she seen that smile before. She's positive you were meant to be more in her life. But once she came back to her senses, you were long gone. The tomatoes were also in her cart. How were you so quick?

Eventually, you were ready to check out, having everything you needed for the dinner. That's when you saw the red head again. She was standing there staring you down. Like she was waiting for you to finish to ask you something.

You were good at reading people…sometimes. And right now, you couldn't read her fully, but you could sense the confidence and burning question she has for you.

It had you thinking what the question could be for you. After all, she thinks you're Italian. Once you finished and got close to her, she just stared at you.

You held out your hand, "Y/n." You introduced.

"Melissa," she took your hand. Put in awe at how soft your hand was. "You Italian or working with the cops?"

"My mom was, she taught me everything there is too cooking. You must be a Schemmenti." You tilted your head.

She eyed you with caution. "You must be working with the cops."

You quickly dismissed the idea. "I've met enough Schemmenti's to know one when I see one."

Suddenly it seemed you had more control than anyone in the world in this conversation. "I don't think it's fair that you know more about me than I do you."

"Oh angel, I never play it fair. It's how you retaliate." You got closer to her, enough where there was still a distance.

Just as she realized the distance, you were gone. You had this woman absolutely smitten with you and she still couldn’t place that face. And that was the last time either of you saw one another.

Until deep into the school year. Your daughter had came home with a letter for you specifically. "Mimi? What's this?" Through the entire car ride she was quiet. Quieter than usual. You didn't get the whole spew that lasted the entire ride of her day.

She didn't answer at all, instead she put her bag down and started on her homework. Waiting patiently for you to open the letter.

As your eyes scanned over it, you could feel her about to start crying. "Honey, why didn't you say something?" The letter had been from her teacher. "Mimi, look at me baby." Her teary eyes met yours. She knew you were mad, but that look absolutely destroyed you. "I'm not mad at you. Come here, follow me."

You lead her into the bathroom. Sitting her on the sink and facing the mirror. "Do you see that little girl right there? That is my strong, amazing, smart daughter. I'm not mad at you at all. You were so brave. So incredibly brave. And to be honest my love, I've done the same thing as you." Her face lit up at that.

"You beat someone up too?" She flashed that toothy smile. Her head whipping around at you when you nodded. "How?"

You turned her around to face you. "Well, when I was just a little bit older than you, this kid, her name was Ellie. She wouldn't leave me alone ever. And I'm talking everyday she came to bug me. Your grandma had told me to just ignore her. But one day she caught me on the worst day I've ever lived."

"What day was that?" She interrupted, a confused look dawning on her.

"It was the day I told your asshole father I was pregnant with my absolute bundle of joy. And he had yelled at me in front of the entire hall and left me. So Ellie had found me during the day, and she had to say something. I was so angry at what she was saying, the names she was calling me, and what she was saying about you before I even met you. I had enough of her, and I walked away untouched. But you should've seen her. She had to move schools because everyone was making fun of her for getting her shit rocked by a pregnant woman."

"So you're not mad at me?" Mimi stared at you in awe. Her look of absolutely smitten by her mother.

You shook your head, "Of course not honey. You defended yourself and I know you're in trouble with school, but look at me. I had to talk her parents down for pressing charges and had to keep myself together while also moving schools. Don't ever let someone try and tell you what you are and aren't. Cause you'll always know who you are and who you want to be. So, when we go to meet with your teacher in a little bit, you'll tell her everything and defend your name ok?"

"Ok mommy! Can I go play for a little bit?" She beamed. You helped her down with a nod, letting her run off. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you were in pajamas still.

So you took a few minutes to put on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. A baseball cap sealing down the fly aways. You quickly put yourself together and then worked on getting your daughter ready. Helping her from the school uniform into something similar to what you were wearing.

Together you went into that school knowing what was about to go down. It was only a little bit after the school day actually ended. The door was closed, so carefully you knocked.

The door flying open, "Janine I don't want to come with you I promise!" The voice came before the face. But once the eyes finally met yours, they went wide. "I...What are you doing here?" She fumbled out the question.

Without any words you held up the letter and looked to Mimi. "I believe you were the one who requested me." Meeting her green eyes once more, you flashed that smile.

That's where she's seen it. "Your Mimi's mom? But you're so young?!" You gave a nod, glancing into the classroom at the other mom. Melissa was just staring at you, but she finally snapped back at Barbra coming pass.

"Y/n?" The older teacher lit up at the sight of you. "Oh it is you! Look how you've grown!" Her eyes fell to the kid holding your hand. "Mimi! Baby girl you have grown!"

"Hi Mrs. Howard," you softly gazed. Engulfing the woman.

Melissa was even more shocked. You knew Barbra, and yet the woman has never once mentioned you to her.

"We should catch up soon, a girls day! Say Friday night?" Barbra was quick to plan, knowing you'd make time for her any day.

With a bob of the head, "Of course, you still have my number right? We can plan it further once I'm done with this meeting."

You two had finished the conversation quickly with hugs and bye's. Following the red head into the classroom. You and Mimi sat next to the other mom and her child.

"Right, so I figured you both know why I asked you here. Mimi started a fight with Amber. Now, from what I gathered, it was out of no where?" Her eyes mainly were on the kids. Mostly cause she couldn't bring herself to look you in the eyes. "I'll let Amber go first."

And so the little girl told her story, it was poorly put together for a lie. Even for a child trying not to get in trouble. Her mother smiling like she had won best parent of the year for this. Then it was Mimi's turn, and her story was very well put together. Wiping that smug smile off the mom's face.

After an hour of going back and forth trying to figure it out, it became clear. Amber had been picking on Mimi since last year and today she had said some meaner things. Amber had apologized and everyone was on their way.

The mom and Amber didn't stay long to even look at you, but Mimi was back to rambling about her day to you while you put on her coat.

"And then my day lead to be here again! With my two favorite people!" She glowed, watching as you zipped up her coat.

You puffed, then looked up to Melissa who was hovering over you, "I didn't know I had competition to be the favorite." You joked with a hint of seriousness. "Hey honey, why don't you go see if Mrs. Howard is still here? I'll be right behind you."

She didn't waste a second before running off. Leaving you two alone. You stood back to your full height. "So you're the famous teacher I hear so much about?"

"Huh?" She spat, back in that daze she had at the store. Your light laugh didn't help pull her from the state. "Oh! Like from Mimi! Um, she's a wonderful kid, I mean she probably has amazing parents at home."

"Just me and her in that apartment." You shrugged. Watching the flash of something go through those green eyes. There was a silence now. One eating you alive. "Ok! I'm not gonna try and like take all your time, but I am just going to jump to the point now. I find you very attractive, would you like to go on a date?" You spat out before you could double think it.

Not only did you have to hide how shocked you were, but so did Melissa. You were so forward. Her eyes were wide, "Wait...what?"

"Me and you, alone, Saturday night?" You smiled. Before she answered, you were at her desk writing your number on a sticky note. "Maybe then I'll tell you how I know you're a Schemmenti." You winked. "Goodnight, Melissa."

To say that date was the first of many. You two had done a lot together now. You went with her to a friends wedding. She then came and made dinner with you and Mimi, that was the day you had told her. You both had gone home separately for the holidays though. Both agreeing it was still very early on to meet family.

But now it was summer, more specifically the fourth of July. Your family never truly celebrated it like an all American family, no you celebrated with style. It was the most serious taken holiday. The whole family was going to be there. You had yet to ask her about coming with though.

You had yet to even say the big L word. Yet, you had already talked to Mimi about keeping Melissa around and possibly her becoming her step-mom. She was thrilled to finally hear you say that.

Tonight was your six month anniversary. Almost a whole year spent together. You had invited Mel over for dinner while you sent Mimi to a friend's for the night before the trip to your cousin's. Everything was set in stone for the night.

You finished just as the door opened. "In the kitchen, baby." You called carefully. Trying to calm your nerves of what the night was. Greeting her with kisses all over her face, she knew instantly something was up.

Only cause you did the same thing when you broke her lasagna bowl that she had from her childhood. She ignored you for what was the longest week of your life.

"What?" She frowned. You stayed silent and dragged her to the chair. Straddling and kissing slowly all over her face and neck. Hands carefully trailing her body. but it was stopped the moment her hands pushed yours away. "What's wrong?"

Suddenly your eyes were being threatened by tears. You moved quickly and went to grab her a glass of wine. Handing her hers while you downed yours. Needing the liquid courage more than you anticipated.

You were physically shaking and you knew it as you held the glass with both hands. "Hon, seriously, talk to me?" Her voice even wavered. Her thoughts running with this is where it all ends. The silence killing her as she was positive that was what was happening. "Is this...are you?"

Your eyes widened, "No! No! Um, you've been so incredibly patient with me, and I...I'm ready."

"Are you sure, I'll wait for you forever." She stood up. Coming closer with each and every step. You gave a firm nod, eyes sparkling with want. "Words, baby. I need you to use them."

"I want you." You almost whimpered. Practically throwing yourself into kissing her.

It was heated, but it was so passionate. Every ounce of emotion was thrown into it. You were so lost you didn't notice the thigh press in between yours. Nor the hands that pulled your hips to grind against it. With the sigh you let out, Mel took the chance to slip her tongue in.

Pulling back slightly to stare at your dazed headspace. "Are you alright pretty girl?" She purred.

"Yes, god yes!" You moved your hips on your own, letting a moan free as the thigh flexed.

Melissa smirked, "Such a good girl for me. Why don't we head for the bed huh?"

You frantically nodded and dragged her with you. Desperate to have her on you again. Moving to push her onto the bed while you were on top. Kissing at her in a frantic manner.

"Easy girl, I want you to savor this. Let me do all the work, you relax." She flipped you two. Now she was nestled between your legs. Taking in the sight of you in the short short dress you had on. "Was this all for me tonight?"

You were in such a fuzzy state. Her words, her touches, her kisses, and most of all, the hungry look in her eyes. You were a goner all because of Melissa Schemmenti.

"You look so pretty for me baby girl. That fuzzy look in your eyes. Can I take of this dress?" She fiddled with the hem of your dress, fingers grazing over your hips and near your inner thigh.

"Yes, please..." There was a hesitation in your voice. Melissa with drew her hands.

"Y/n if you're not ready, we can stop." She instantly snapped out of the feeling. She took in how you looked ready to cry. "Hey, hey. None of that, ok? It's ok, we don't have to. I know this is a big step."

A single tear escaped, but the smile on your face said many other things. "I...I love you." You whispered. "Please, Mel. I need you."

Her smile couldn't be hidden. She kissed you hard. Hard and with all the love in the world. "I love you too baby. I love you so so incredibly much."

You felt confidence hearing the words back. And suddenly your hesitation from earlier left. You pulled the back of her neck so you were next to her ear. "Please, mommy. I need you." You licked her shell of her ear. Causing her to shiver greatly.

She had that look again, she was about to take you entirely and you wouldn't know. She was going to make you feel like never before.

"Mommy's gonna take good care of you, I promise angel." Her hands ran under your dress and pulled at your panties, pulling them down and off your thighs. "Whenever you want to stop, just say anything."

"Ok, but please, no more foreplay." Your hips bucked again.

"A needy little thing you are. Did you think of this moment all day? Or did you start thinking about it the day we met?" She spurred you on, her hands pushing your thighs apart. "How good I could make you feel?"

You whined, trying to search for her hand. "Please mommy!"

How could she deny that pretty face? Her hand finally met you where you needed. Making you gasp as she drew tight circles before dipping down toy our entrance and back up. Teasing you till tears.

"You're so sensitive, I've barely fucked you and you already are in tears. You truly must've needed this." She kept talking, but wasn't giving you anything, or so you thought. She slammed two fingers into you, making you cry loudly. She could feel your walls fluttering around her. "Shh, you're ok baby, mommy's right here. You're ok. Just let me know when you're ready." She kissed your forehead. Waiting for your signal.

With a soft head nod, she didn't waste a second. You had figured she start of soft, but you were wrong. Melissa Schemmenti liked it rough. You gave her a power she never knew she wanted the first moment you said mommy.

She brought you over the edge at least three times, you were in no state to remember. With her kisses to your face and the withdrawing of her hand you thought you were done. Until she pulled you down to the edge of the bed.

There she devoured you in ways you never knew existed. And each new way brought you over until you were so overstimulated you had to physically crawl away from her. But you loved every single second.

You came back to her crawling into bed with you. She had changed you from that dress straight into one of her hoodies. "I wasn't too much was I?"

You shook your head, barely able to stay awake. You glanced up to her, "Do you want to come meet my family tomorrow? We're having a big party for the weekend. I want you to meet them all." You got out before falling asleep on her.

"I would love nothing more angel." She kissed your head, falling asleep right after you.

[stormblessed95]

Hi Stormblessed (dope name btw),

Don't know if this is the best place for this essay or the right time but I need to word-vomit this out, or I'm gonna be a JK-style spaced out zombie all day.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that a big part of the fandom tends to mis-characterize the members based on edits, fanfics and out-of-context clips. Something probably mostly to do with how social media platforms have been pushing for these short videos over the last few years. Why watch 300 hours of original content (some of which is behind a paywall) if you can get the gist of it (you think) from TikToks?

My particular point has to do with how that allows for the narrative (aka made up shit) especially around Jimin to grow. All of the members get that treatment, the maknaes worse due to their popularity, but due to how a big part of Army are also tkk shippers, Jimin is the one who's portrayal often skews more negative. The others' perceptions just are neutral or fantastical in a sense that they're more like badly written male leads. Don't get me wrong, solos throwing around bs is nothing singular to him but no one gets accused (said completely seriously btw) of sleeping his way into BTS or the release of his album.

After I saw this vitriol for the first time I had to actually sit down because wtf.

And then I started wondering why that is, and came to the conclusion that it is:

(Internalized) misogyny and sexism

Blatant homophobia

Jimin is the member the most obviously in tune of his femininity. He hasn't subscribed to gender norms for a decade at least, and once his hyper-masculine-esque persona from the debut days was dismissed, he ventured further. (That isn't to dismiss the growth they all have shown in that area.)

But antis, akgaes, Solos and shippers take that femininity and apply every stereotype and misogynistic idea to JM.

Traits they f.e. hate:

He is openly flirty with many people (members especially)

He is very physical, and touch is arguably one of his love languages and go-to way of comforting smn

He is pretty af and knows it

He's sensual and sexy and knows it

He's cute

He's sweet (aka a good fucking human)

But why does that make "them" hate him so much?

Because they have been taught that these traits in women (like themselves) are bad. What makes it worse, however, is that the men around JM all know these things to be true, acknowledge them as true and compliment him on them. In the case of JK (since this is about Jikook at the end of the day):

He loves flirty JM despite sometimes not knowing how to handle him (ehem the 'shameless convo'). He flirts back (fe the whole live where he was in bed begging for JM to come over)

Tkkers and such love pulling the "JK hates it" card. Which is nonsense, considering how he seeks JM's comfort when he's down (esp during concerts), actively cuddles JM (In The Soop) and never uses all his big muscles to shove JM but rather to just carry him around. Compare that to the jokingly disgusted face Yoongi pulls when Tae tries to hold his hand, and it becomes glaringly obvious that no one who says the members dislike touching each other has a leg to stand on. Calling it harassment goes so far beyond any line of sanity...

JK - like all of BTS - acknowledges that Jimin's beauty is simply out of this world. They are regularly stunned by his appearance

Just gonna point to JK's reaction to Filter, Blood Sweat & Tears, Black Swan, and Set Me Free pt 2 here. JK calls JM sexy so often it's hilarious

* inserts clip of absolutely WHIPPED JK after JM cutely punches him during that performance of Boy With Luv *. Also we know that "cute" his JK's type as he himself admitted.

Jimin has been Jungkook's comfort person for so long, and with such depth that he dedicated a whole trip and video to him. They care for each other so deeply that the only logical conclusion was to go to the military together.

Aka: he is all that they hate in the girls/women in their normal life so they can't do nothing but tear him down. They envy how comfortable he seems in his own skin, how easily he goes from sexy to cute, how loved he is by those around him. On top of that is how gay people are still perceived and treated by a lot of countries around the world. No matter what they say, being an army and shipping men doesn't make you automatically an ally and non-homophobic.

They treat Jimin like they would most likely treat the lgtbqia+ people in real life: something to be careful of, someone dishonest and slutty.

They conflate everything they hate about themselves and gay people and * boom * out come frankly terrifying tweets, fanfics and shit.

Contrast that with how these very same people fetishize the relationship between Tae and Jungkook - either viewing them like men who watch p_rn involving two women, or a self-insert with how little character they have - and that's the state of the army shipping community. They could be Barbie dolls getting smashed together and you wouldn't know the difference.

I'm not saying Jikookers are better in that, but the language they tend to use is incredibly different.

---

That was a lot.

To end on a sweet note: I saw a quote on Twitter "If you want to find out what someone fears losing, look at what they photograph."

And...well. that just screams Jikook

Hi! Thank you, I like my name too 🥰

And yeah, basically I agree. I think there is more to it as well, but that a lot of it could be boiled down to all this. And yeah, jikookers are just as guilty of this too, but not always in the same way. Sometimes in a way that is more fetishizing but is just as harmful. Take it from someone who has seen it all in my inbox from people who feel safe on anon 😂😂

Thanks for sharing! And your quote at the end is SOOOOO cute!