#(something something joel losing his daughter the day after his birthday. something something him losing tess around his birthday (probs))

[weirdbabs]

also since i saw some ppl posting their opinions on this i thought id share mine that ive had since 2014/posted on here in 2018

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Ceilings

Pairing: Post-apocalypse!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smutttt, 18+, swearing but overall this is really wholesome and heartbreaking and possibly my fav thing ever written, so much angsty vibes guys.

Word Count: 1.3k

Song: "Champagne Problems" by Taylor Swift and "Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine

Summary: The reader has to leave but Joel is willing to do anything and everyting to keep her in his arms for one more night, not wanting to be abandoned again like everyone else has left him. This is a request by @what-muses; "Female reader smut with Joel Miller and the prompt 'Make Me’."

It's lovely that I have the opportunity to be beside him, bodies curled against each other while we watch the plaster peel off the ceiling, soft rain drops hitting against the cracked window. It's a perfect day to be alone with him, the humid air swarming around us, warming our cold bodies that lay beneath the blankets.

He's so soft like this, bedsheets wrapped around him, his hands splaying across my hip as his lips attentively find a home on the column of my throat. He smells like aftershave and something woodsy, calloused skin feeling good against my own, his aura filling my mind like the most addictive drug.

How special am I to be able to see him in this environment, unlike his typical closed off, hateful, spiteful mood. He's not like that with me, not normally, instead taking on a more protective, caring, stern mood when he's curled up in bed with me but I know that there's still a darkness looming in and out of his mind.

When we first met at the QZ, I didn't know the extent of his pain or what he had been though. Anyone could've seen that he's been through a lot, more than most people and that's saying a lot considering nearly everyone was impacted by the cordyceps looming around, turning our loved ones into monsters.

But when him and I started to get closer and one night, over booze, he confessed to me that he had a daughter who quite literally died in his arms, the day of the fall, his birthday, I broke down with him. How could such a good man, an overall good person, go through that and not turn into a monster of a different form compared to the ones we're used to.

I found out about his brother a week later after Sarah.

He harbors guilt for Tommy, wondering if he was the reason that he left in the first place but anyone who knows Tommy knows that Tommy just seems to be a busy body, always getting involved in something new whether it be the military or the Fireflies.

But he left Joel, like Sarah did, though in different ways.

So what does that say about me?

I don't want to leave him in the morning, but I have to, abandoning the only arms I've ever called home. He doesn't know and he shouldn't have to know that he's losing me in the morning because I know his world will fall into chaos the minute he finds out that I'm leaving. Like everyone else has.

Feels like the start of a movie I've seen before, me leaving him, him leaving me, it's a back and forth nightmare where we don't know when the next time we'll kiss, when our movie will end permanently and the other person won't have closure.

But I have to go.

So for now, I'll soak in what I can, humming quietly as he rests his head on my bare chest, my fingers carding through his tangled locks in an attentive manner. His guitar is in the corner of the room, my eyes lifting to look at it every so often to memorize it just in case I need something to remember when I'm beyond the walls.

I map Joel's fingers, imagining them plucking at the strings and telling me about his daughter, how he got her a guitar when she was younger but she never used it so he picked it up out of spite to show her how easy it was for her to use.

I imagine that Sarah would be happy that he's with me, being constantly dotted on and taken care of, just how he should be. She'd like that he smiles now, that his eyes have softened and jaw has unclenched since her passing. He's told me that he's had no reason to be hopeful for the future until me, no reason to be afraid of losing himself since he's met me.

Since Sarah.

It makes leaving even harder.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Joel asks against my skin, lips brushing softly across my collarbone and I feel the stinging of tears rise to my eyes, frustration and anger towards myself swimming in my brain.

"How'd you know?" He looks up at me with soft eyes, no disappointment or anger behind his brown hues, not like I had expected them to be filled with. Instead it looks like he already knew, as if he assumed I wasn't here to stay and that thought makes my heart break. He always knew I was a flight risk.

"You're holding onto me tight." I can see the glass heart through his eyes shattering with every word that escapes him and I confirm his fears by holding onto him even tighter, worried that he'll leave me before I have the chance to leave him, our normal back and forth bullshit. "Tighter than normal."

"I just wanna be close to you." I find his lips, drinking in his taste as our lips part to accommodate the elephant in the room, my heart weighing heavily in my chest and I can't ignore the fear that this is the last time we'll get to be like this, to have the pleasure to soak in each others presence without behind worlds apart.

"You couldn't be any closer." He whispers against me, greedy yet soft hands urging my hips closer to his and I gasp, feeling his cock against my thigh, my head spinning at the feeling of him so close, wanting nothing but for him to slip inside of me, keeping me close to him and never letting me go.

The words die on the tip of my tongue; I miss you already, I want you, I need you, I can't live without you.

"I want to be." I wrap my arms around his neck, face pressed into the pillow as I throw one of my legs over his hip, moans drowning in the pillow and Joel hums.

"C'mere." His voice keeps me hanging on like a prayer, fingers carding through his hair as his cock finally slips into me with no effort, a small whimpered gasp escaping me at the feeling of being so full, like my missing puzzle piece, fitting perfectly into me, completely my broken edges. "Don't go." He begs, arms wrapping around my waist the best they can and my mind clouds over.

I'm pretty convinced that I'd do anything he'd ask me to when he's deep inside of me, thrusting lazily in and out of me and it makes my eyes spring with tears once more, knowing how desperately and pathetically I'm going to miss being this close to him.

"Joel."

"I never ask for anythin'." He mutters, kissing me sweetly once more and I feel my whole body tremble in his grasp, his hand cirling around my to fist some of my hair, pulling me chin upwards so he can press kiss against my throat, leaving bites in his wake. "Please just stay."

"Make me." I beg, giving into him, knowing in my heart that if I try to leave, it's going to be nearly impossible.

There's something that just happened, just now, something that shifted from what we were before into something new, a sense of wholeness filling us as he fills me and tears trail gently down my cheeks as I reach my peak, tumbling over the edge and pulling Joel with me. He groans loudly, finding my lips as he presses messy, heated kisses to my lips, unrelenting and heartbroken.

"If I had it my way, you'd never leave this bed." Joel whispers after a few moments, holding me tightly to him and not bothering to slip out of me as he gets comfortable, wanting nothing more than to keep me as close as humanly possible.

"Then don't let me."

[pedroscurls]

Title: The Teacher (Part 9).

CHAPTER TITLE: Sarah Miller

Character(s): Joel Miller, Reader Summary: Joel tells you about Sarah. Word Count: 2,231 Author's Note: This chapter meant a whole lot to me. I cried while writing it actually... Grief is... It’s a complicated feeling and it was very cathartic for me to write something like this. So, I just wanna thank everyone who’s still reading (and being patient with me -- I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated this). I hope you all enjoy. Warning: talks of grief, losing loved ones (child loss especially), mentions of violence and death (more specifically sarah miller’s death)

“I had a daughter. Her name was Sarah.”

You could tell from the look in his eyes that this was a subject he didn’t like talking about, but here he was, being completely open and vulnerable with you. He stood up, which you followed suit, and noticed how he wasn’t looking at you. He was pacing back and forth in his living room and gone was the man you had met a few months ago. This was a grieving father, pain still lingering. 

“Joel…” you whispered quietly, careful not to startle him. 

He was mumbling, but you couldn’t make out the words. Slowly, you sat down on the couch and watched him sit across from you. He was leaning forward now, eyes focused on his fidgeting hands. 

“Joel, we don’t– You don’t have to tell me anything, not until you’re ready.”

Then, he looked up at you and you could have sworn that your heart broke at the sight of him. Not only was he a grieving father, but he looked broken and you had to wonder if this was part of himself that he had chosen to hide. You were so used to the quiet, confident man that you came to know, but as you looked at him now, he seemed like a different person entirely. 

“No,” he whispered, lower lip quivering. “You deserve to know, darlin’. You’ve shared so much about you, about your life from before and I–”

“You don’t need to, Joel,” you tried to say, hoping that he didn’t have to share anything that he wasn’t yet comfortable with. After all, your relationship with him was still relatively “new”. “But if you want to, I’m here. I’m listening.”

Joel nodded. He would open his mouth and shut it close a few times, not knowing where to really start. But as he looked at you, there was an odd sense of relief that he felt. Maybe it was because you hadn’t judged him for what he did to the Fireflies, to save Ellie. Or maybe it was because he found himself completely enamored with you, never pushing him to talk about things he wasn’t comfortable with, and even now, here you were, telling him that he didn’t need to tell you anything if he didn’t want to. It alleviated a lot of pressure that he put on himself because as the months passed and the more he got to know you, the more guilt he felt for not telling you more about himself, more about before. 

“I want to,” he whispered. “I just–” Joel sighed. “It ain’t an easy thing to talk about.” 

“We’ll go at your pace then,” you replied softly. “Whatever you want to tell me, I’m here.” 

Joel bit his lower lip and sighed heavily. “Sarah, she was– She was my babygirl,” he whispered, vivid memories flashing in his mind. The thick, curly hair, the dimples whenever she smiled, her caring nature and how she had always done such a great job taking care of him… 

Whenever he thought of Sarah, it not only reminded him of the day she died, but it was paired with an immense amount of guilt and failure. His one job as a father was to protect her, to keep her safe, and he couldn’t do it. It made him regret all of the plenty of times he worked late, taking for granted the limited time he had with her… And even now, as he tried to think of any good memories, it was hard. All his mind and body could remind him was the night she died in his arms. 

“Did she pass away before the outbreak?” 

Joel shook his head. “It happened on Outbreak day, which just so happened to be my birthday. Worst day of my life,” he whispered quietly. “I couldn’t– I couldn’t protect her.” Joel looked up at you, tears stinging his eyes and threatening to spill over. “It was supposed to be me… It should have been me.”

You wanted to leap out of this seat and hug him, protect him, tell him that you’re sorry he had to endure all of it, that the world had to end, that people– that good people had to die young. You might not know what it is like to lose a child, but you knew the pain, the regret, the guilt that followed when losing a loved one. 

“Aw, baby,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry.” 

Joel took a deep and shaky breath. “She would’ve been in her thirties by now,” he admitted. “Would have had her own family– she’d have made a great mom, I’ll tell ya that. She always looked after me– even though she didn’t need to, especially when I had late night or early morning shifts. She was– My Sarah.” 

“Sounds like she loved her dad,” you replied, which Joel finally broke at that. Tears spilled over and you could see and hear him crying. He was trying to stifle his emotions, so you walked over to him and sat on the floor near his feet. Gently, you rested a hand on his own, holding them tightly to prevent him from fidgeting with them even further. 

“It’s hard to think about her,” he whispered, looking down at you. “All I can remember is the night she died in my arms, how she screamed for help, begging me to stop the pain…” 

You bit your lower lip and felt yourself tear up as well. “I can’t– I can’t imagine that feeling,” you said quietly. “Tell me… Tell me something about her. She must have been a teenager when the outbreak happened…” 

Joel shut his eyes, trying to rid himself of the vivid image of his Sarah limp, dead, and cold in his arms. He felt your hands caress his own, which surprisingly provided him a sense of comfort that he didn’t realize he needed. He was so used to pushing his emotions aside and just focusing on staying alive, and while it was difficult to think about his daughter, about his Sarah, a heaviness that he didn’t realize he had been carrying was slowly lifting. 

“She was so smart,” he smiled sadly to himself. “So smart and so– She had a big heart,” Joel bit his lower lip. “Not sure who she got that from, but that girl… Always looking out for everyone else.” 

“I mean, I don’t know her mom, but it sounds like she got that from you. From the past few months since I’ve known you, Joel, you are always protecting and keeping the people you love safe.” You replied, gently leaning up on your knees and taking his face in your hands. He looked at you, tears still spilling over slowly as you wiped them away. “Sarah sounded like a really great girl. I’m sorry,” you whispered quietly. “I’m sorry you lost her so soon.” 

“My babygirl,” he whispered. “Do you– Do you wanna see a picture of her?” 

“If you’d like to show me, then absolutely.” 

Joel nodded and stood up, helping you to your feet. He wiped his eyes and leaned down to gently press a kiss to your temple before leading you up the stairs. Once in his bedroom, you followed him to his dresser and watched him open the drawer before he took two polaroids out from underneath his clothes. He held onto it tightly and gently handed it to you. 

Immediately, you smiled to yourself. Joel looked much younger, much happier (you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile that big before). One photo was of him and Sarah, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he covered her eyes and the other was of her kissing his cheek. You felt tears slowly trickle down your cheeks as you stared at both pictures. 

“She has an amazing smile,” you whispered quietly. 

Joel let a very small smile line his lips. “When she smiled, her whole face lit up. Dimples too. She had me wrapped around her finger,” he chuckled to himself. “I had her young,” Joel began. “I didn’t know what I was doin’ half the time. Her mom left, and so I was a 22 year old man with a newborn. I was fuckin’ scared,” Joel admitted. “But when she smiled for the first time, I knew that I was gonna do everythin’ I could to be the dad she deserved.” 

You nodded and looked over at him. You understood now why he had killed Marlene, killed the Fireflies, and saved Ellie. It was his way of fixing the past. He couldn’t save Sarah, so he decided to save Ellie. He couldn’t make the same mistake. He couldn’t lose another one. 

“This shouldn’t be hidden,” you suggested. “It’s tough… To talk about the people we’ve lost and some hurt more than others, but I think these should be displayed. It can remind you of how much she loved you, Joel, instead of reminding you of that one night…”

“But–” Joel whispered. “Every time I think about her, every time I see this, all I can think about is the night she died.”

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “I felt like that for a long time after my husband and I can’t say that what I did will fix it all, but… I wanted to remember the good times we shared and it hurt like hell – and it still hurts – but I decided I want to remember him in my own way. Pushing him aside after he died, forcing myself not to think about him, to just move on with my life hurt more. I miss him a lot and I dealt with a lot of guilt, a lot of regret… But the pain we feel when we think about them shows us how much love we had for them too. There was a quote…” you said quietly. “That kind of helped me.” 

“W– What is it, darlin’?”

Tears were pooling around your eyes and you looked up at him, moving a hand to rest on his chest. “Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love. And it just– It reminded me how lucky I was to have loved my husband and to be loved by him.”

Joel immediately wrapped his arms around you, burying his face against the crook of your neck. You felt him melt into you, the weight that he had been carrying now lifting completely. He was crying against you and you just held onto him, your arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You both stood in his bedroom, holding onto each other like your lives depended on it, connected by grief and pain of a lost loved one. 

“I miss my Sarah,” he whispered into you. You could feel his tears against your skin and you were crying too, but Joel needed this. He needed to release what he had been holding in. “My babygirl,” he said, voice cracking. 

You pulled away, only to lead him to his bed, which he followed almost instantly. When you lied down, Joel joined you immediately and wrapped his arms around you. Ellie helped tremendously with him overcoming his grief, but with their most recent fight, he felt it all come crashing down. 

Joel felt like he had failed her, just like he had failed Sarah. 

He knew that the only right thing to do was save Ellie, to kill Marlene and the Fireflies. She was still so young to know what she wanted, to know what it meant to sacrifice her life for a cure that may never work. Joel didn’t want to risk it. It was an easy decision for him and he would do it all over again if given the chance. 

His head was resting against your shoulder and your arm was wrapped around him, running your fingertips along his arm soothingly. Usually, you were the one cuddling into him like this, but right now, Joel needed an anchor, needed someone to be the stronger one of the two. 

“I understand why you did what you did,” you whispered. “Saving Ellie… It was the only logical choice.”

Joel looked up at you, surprised. “Really?” 

“I would’ve done the same thing,” you admitted. “She may be angry, Joel, but that girl still loves you. Give her time.”

“What if–” Joel sighed. “What if that never happens?” 

“It will. You just gotta be patient.” 

“I’m glad you’re here,” he admitted. “I never thought I’d get another chance.” 

“At what?” you smiled, looking down at him. “At being a father again?” 

“Yes,” Joel smiled. “And to fall in love again.”

Your eyes widened slowly. Sure, it had been only a few months since you two were together, but ever since he laid eyes on you the first day you came to Jackson, he knew that you were something special. 

“A– Are you saying–”

“I’m in love with you, darlin’.” Joel whispered, leaning up on his elbow. “What you did earlier, what you said… You’re helpin’ me in more ways than you can imagine… And my Sarah would have loved you.”

You leaned down to peck his lips, cupping his cheeks. “I’m sure I would have loved her too…” You bit your lower lip and ran your thumbs across his skin, brushing against the bristles of his beard. “And I’m head over heels in love with her dad.”

---

Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be tagged!): @rye-flower, @3zae-zae3, @orangevtae, @flippittygibbitts, @blairfox04, @ohthemisssery, @avengersfan25, @somebodytookmyusername, @littleshadow17, @beltzboys2015-blog, @swimmjacket, @corpsebridenightamare, @thelightnessofthebeing, @dorck26, @ashlynn-crayons, @sexytholland, @surazim, @cedricbitch, @cali-ko, @lasthongos, @impala1967666​, @sana-li, @coldheartedmar​

[wise-0ne]

Please: PART ONE

SUMMARY: ~𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀, 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋~

After Sarah died, Joel found his new happiness. He loved his daughter, Hailey.

But when the unexpected comes, he's in need of help and happiness.

What will Joel do when he loses the people he loves?

Joel Miller x Daughter o/c

No trigger warnings just swearing.

You can't live in fear here. It just doesn't work that way now, or that's how my dad put it. These days, living in fear is a weakness. Living in fear will get you killed. Fear is not an option.

I was born after the outbreak. I'm 16 years old, my birthday was yesterday. It's 2023 and everything is just as bad as when it started. City's ruled by FEDRA, raiders, smugglers. Nothing is safe.

Even though I feel safe, I'll never know if I am. I know that as long as I have my parents, I'm safe. My parents made a promise to me when I was 6. They told me that they would never let anything happen to me as long as they were here. Luckily, for ten years, they've kept that promise.

My dad, Joel, had a daughter. Her name was Sarah. She was his ray of sunshine and my dad loved her more than anything. But Sarah was shot back in 2003 when the outbreak happened. My mom said he wasn't happy, nice, kind until I came.

When he found out my mom was pregnant, he told her that it was a bad idea to keep me. I was a one night stand baby. My parents were best friends and they got drunk one night.

He didn't want the same thing that happened to Sarah, to happen to me. He was scared for my mom and me. He didn't want to lose more people than he already lost, so he tried to convince my mom to get rid of me. Obviously it didn't work.

But when I was born, he was a different person. My mom, Tess, said he was so happy. From what I've been told. When he first laid eyes on me, he cried and said I was a miracle. His miracle.

Since then, he's always made sure I was safe and protected. I'm not allowed outside without him and I can't go with them anywhere that isn't in the QZ. They never let me outside until I I turned 15 because kids were supposed to be in the FEDRA school. They didn't want that for me, so they kept me locked up in our apartment.

I know they want to keep me safe, but it gets annoying. Knowing that I'm safe and loved makes me feel better about that though.

I love my dad and my mom. They would do anything for me, and by anything, I mean anything.

They are smugglers, so I am home alone sometimes, but they always have someone check on me. They usually have something to bring back to me. No matter if it's food or games, I'm always happy.

I love my parents, and if I were to lose them. I don't know what I would do.

__________________________________________________________________________

It was a long day of sitting inside, reading, and watching the civilians walk around while I sat on the couch in the living room of our one-bedroom apartment. The bedroom is not even really a bedroom. More like an open space with a wall. It was small, but in the QZ, we're lucky to even have this apartment. There are people who live on the streets, so we are really lucky.

The QZ is very full and most people don't have a lot. Like us. We live off of food rations, cards, and whatever my parents smuggle in. I'm very glad we are here. Dad said if we weren't, we'd be dead.

Both of my parents are working, and I was inside, alone. I was used to being alone in the daytime, but I made sure the door was locked at all times. So I was safe. You can't trust people.

Mom and dad were gone most of the day. I knew dad picked up an extra job, and mom was out dealing with things. For all I know she could be dead, but I know she isn't.

I was sitting on the couch, reading, when the door knob rattled. I looked up and saw the door swing open. It was my dad. He looked mad, he didn't see me and he just walked into the bedroom. I put my book down and scoot over to the other side of the couch so I could see what he was doing. I heard him stomping and then he bent over to move the dresser that covered his stash of stuff hidden under the floorboards.

Under the floor was some maps, an axe and more things that he kept hidden.

I watched him pull out a map and then he walked into the kitchen area and sat down with a map at the table. Dad was obviously mad about something, so I know not to bother him. I adjust myself on the couch and watch as grabbed his bottle of bourbon and stared at the map. Pointing and dragging his finger on the map, he sighed and took a drink. He drank half the bottle and didn't even look back at me.

I watch him put his hand on his forehead and sigh. I know he's stressed and angry. I wish I could help him in some way, but I don't want to make things worse.

I watched him take some pills and without looking at me, he got up, went to lay on the bed, and passed out.

This was usually the routine when he was having a hard day. He has a lot of those.

I then got up and walk over to the bed. I check his breath make sure he's alive. He's kinda old so I worry. And while he slept, I cleaned the apartment. I cleaned the table, did dishes, and organized the cabinets to keep me busy. I waited for mom to come home, but eventually, I sat on the couch and drifted to sleep.

Usually, we all share the one mattress we have. It was big enough for all three of us, but I didn't want to wake him up. He needed sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________

In the morning, I woke up to my mom making tea. I stood up off the couch and rubbed my eyes. I stumbled a bit but walked over to the kitchen. My dad walked into the room at the same time I did.

Sitting down at our table, I looked at my dad. He sat at the other end of the table and he was hungover and looked tired. My mom then walked over to us. I look up at her while she sets a cup of tea in front of me.

Her face looked terrible.

"Mom, your face," I say in a concerned voice.

Her face was bruised and cut. She had a black eye and looked terrible. She then sat down by my dad.

Dad looked over at her. His face said it all. He was pissed.

He slammed his hand on the table and almost got up.

"I got jumped by a couple of guys." She said calmly. Grabbing his hand

"What guys?" my dad questions her.

"Just a couple of teenagers." Dad then grabs her face.

"Said some shit probably shouldn't have," Mom said while my dad moved her face around. He then got up. My mom grabbed her cup and took a sip.

"Come on. You know these guys were born after the outbreak. Never learned how to argue." She said trying to calm him down.

"They just start swingin'." She took another sip.

"Fuckin' 19-year-old pieces of shit." I chuckle.

It's always funny when she those jokes. She made them a lot because she knew they made me feel better in these types of situations.

My dad came back over to the table. He had a bottle of alcohol and a towel.

"It's a miracle you're alive." He says while he pours some of the alcohol on a towel, he gently taps her face, making sure not to hurt her. She chuckles "It's a miracle any of us are alive."

I take a sip of my tea. I know my mom wasn't safe at the time, I was just lucky she was now. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without her.

As my dad tapped her face, he turned her head, "These aren't new."

"No, I was in FEDRA lockup all day."

Dad pauses. His face looks confused.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter." My mom says. She then takes a breath and grabs my dad's hand.

"I need you to take a breath," she says calmly

"What?" My dad says, putting down the towel.

"Joel-"

"What?"

She takes one more breath "The guys who jumped me were with Robert." She pauses.

"He sold our battery to someone else."

I set my cup down and hear my dad's chair scoot back. Looking over at them, I see my dad put his face in his hands.

"What the fuck." I say angrily.

"Nothing is lost. Shit like this is gonna happen. Now we shake it off and get our cards back or the battery." She says looking at me and my dad.

"We need the battery, Tess," Dad says and slams his hand on the table. He gets out of his chair and walks over to the bedroom.

"Trucks no good without one." He yells "And if I don't get to Tommy soon, he's gonna die out there."

"Okay, Fuck it. We get our money back, and the battery." She says, getting up out of her seat and walking over to dad.

"But Joel listen, Robert is terrified of you." She looks him in the eyes. "If you go to him about this, he's gonna get wind of it and skip."

I then get up out of my chair and walk over to them. I sit next to my dad. I lay my head on his shoulder, "Take a breath." I tell him. He looks at me with sadness and anger in his eyes.

While still looking at me, he asks mom "Who'd he sell it to?"

"Don't know."

"Well, where is he?"

"Don't know... Yet" She says.

"But we're gonna find out quietly."

"Understand?" she asks my dad. He nods and looks at the floor.

"Now I promised Robert you wouldn't hurt him, but I would very much like for you to hurt him," Mom says smiling.

She gets serious again, "So let's go hunt that mother fucker down, and get our battery, and our truck and go find Tommy." she takes a breath "Alright?"

My dad nods again "Alright."

Mom gets up and walks over to the other side of the bed.

I pick my head up, and my dad leans down to get his gun.

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @jennaispunk for the tag.

I'm currently working on Elks, another Baseball Joel entry, and a totally self indulgent* piece where Joel takes you, Sarah and Sarah's friend Ellie (duh) to Disney World for Sarah's 16th birthday.

*I can't get the thought of Joel (discreetly it is a family destination) fucking someone on a balcony in the middle of the night while looking at the Castle. You know he's spending good contractor $$$ and getting two theme park view rooms at the Polynesian for his daughter's sweet 16.

Elks:

Two weeks, it’s only been two weeks, but it’s been two weeks of longing glances, shared stories over meals, quiet understandings, smart replies followed by laughter. Two weeks of thinking about him and missing him. You’ve wanted this since you saw him, the desire burning louder once he was no longer a handsome stranger. You’ve reached an ignition point, and Joel is right there with you, holding the match. 

His hands grab your hips, you can feel him against you, his pants tenting against your core. Denim rubbing against denim as you grind against him. 

Joel peppers kisses down your mouth to your chin, running his tongue down your neck, placing open mouth kisses against your collarbone. He explores you like he’s mapped his journey in his head before. You tip your head back and moan out as his hands drag up and cup your breasts. He licks his way back up your neck, your hands grab at his jaw, the desire in his eyes darkening them. 

“Joel…” you breathe out.

“What is it sweetheart?”

“I—I want you.”

“Heh,” his exhale hits your lips as he puts his forehead against yours, “I want you too sweetheart.”

————

Baseball Joel:

“I am, yeah, I will be. I’m sorry, it just really hit me how long it’s been and I guess I’m just nervous about everything we have to do. I don’t want to lose you…” and at those words and the fear that gets planted inside your heart, you pull your fingers away from your cunt.

“We’re going to figure it out sweetheart. M’not losing you.” Joel follows you and unwraps his hand from around himself. “It has been long, but we’ll have almost a week together next week.”

“Five games?”

“Five games.” The softness of his voice and the reassuring smile he gives makes your stomach twist. The slow realization of your true feelings for him speeding up inside your heart.

“I’m sorry.” An apology, you’re almost embarrassed by your juvenility, missing your boyfriend so much you almost started to cry.

“Baby, you don’t have to apologize, believe me, I understand.”

“Did you still want to…”

“I’m only happy doing what you want to, sweetheart.”

“I want to show you how much I miss you.” Your hand snakes up your body to start petting the area between your breasts, the place where Joel always like to nuzzle his face in and smell your skin.

“Fuck, okay sweetheart.”

————

Disney World:

“So there’s a ride in that big ball?”

“Yep! It’s all about the past and the future,” Sarah leans forward with her phone to take a selfie of herself wearing Minnie ears without skipping a beat. “It’s called Spaceship Earth, and the whole ride is in it.”

“Mm.” Joel cocks an eyebrow.  “Do we go to space?” 

“Nope,” you smile as you apply sunscreen on your shoulders, Joel’s eyes watching your actions. “It’s educational.”

You notice how his hands tense at his sides as he watches you rub the lotion up your neck and around your chest. You love being able to spend so much time with Sarah and Ellie but by the end of the day, when you and Joel lock the door to the connecting room, that’s when the best part of vacation starts.

“I think it’s bull there’s no space in something called ‘Spaceship Earth’ if you ask me. Super disappointed by the name,” Ellie laments.

“Well, cheer up kid, it’s where we’re headed to now,” you say zipping up the backpack Joel’s carrying after putting your sunscreen away.

“Let’s go learn something then I guess,” Joel grabs your hand and leads the four of you through the crowd. You love how people part for him, the broadness of his shoulders standing out amongst the herd of fellow tourists. 

[disabledrunner5]

My Runner 5’s/ZR Universe MCs. (Spoilers for seasons 1-3 of ZR with illusions to later seasons)

Because eh why not?

using @ummmmandy​‘s picrew and inspired by @runner5anna‘s post (I’m still working on my 5′s playlist so that’s coming at a later date)

Runner Five: Alicia Emily Bright

The OG, my traumatised baby, who I will protect with my life but also trauma dump on. 

Has left side Hemiplegia.

Is neurodivergent AF (autism)

diagnosed with GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder)

Very sensitive to loud noises, wet clothing and mess on her skin.

Selective mute due to anxiety from the helicopter crash and autism.

Had to kill her zombified mother with a kitchen knife on day zero.

Also had to shoot her younger brother, Louis, at Mullins after he was bitten a few weeks before she arrived at Abel.

Is currently dating Sam Yao, and is actually engaged to him (as of season 6).

Short sighted.

Huge Nerd. Will talk about Doctor Who and Red Dwarf for hours if you let her. Loves DnD.

Has an emotional support puppy by the name of Scraps, a Jack Russell Terrier who she rescued in season 2 and whom she adores. To lose him would literally be like losing a child to her. He is her baby. It sure would be a shame if something happened to him, say for example, someone killed him at the end of season 5. 

Forgets to look after herself constantly, potentially has a death wish (or at least thats Abel Township’s theory), will kill and be killed for those she loves.  

New Canton Runner 5: Joel James Bright

Born in 1979, to Edith and Robert Bright. Younger brother of Dominic.

Married childhood sweetheart, Maria when they were 19.

Father of Alicia and Louis Bright.

Was in a band in university. Gave it up to start a family.

Secondary school history teacher.

Adores his children, will die for them.

Plays guitar like a pro.

Short sighted.

Got knocked out by his zombified wife on Z Day, and was assumed dead by his children.

Despite his bleeding head, he managed to find his way to New Canton in the early days of the apocalypse. Believed his children were dead (he was half right).

Close with Chris McShell and Lem.

Overjoyed to discover at least his daughter was alive.

Very protective of Alicia in new Canton following the Abel explosion in the season one finale.

Died in London, buried under a building he blew up.

Left a message to Alicia via video and Alicia stumbled across the site whilst in London and retrieved by luck his broken glasses to remember him by.

Nobody knows what happened to his body.

Has a memorial in New Canton and an grave by Mullins base, next to his son, Louis’ grave.

Walker- Tabitha ‘Tammy’ Natalie Walker.

Alicia’s uncle Dominic is Tammy’s father.

Lived in Scotland with her mum, Allison.

Lived in Fostercare after the death of her mum, six years prior to The Walk.

Goes by either ‘Tabs’ or ‘Tammy’ (sometimes even by her middle name as she’s not overly fond of her first name)

19 years old at the start of The Walk (which takes place c. 2016 as Boris Johnson’s still Mayor of London) and turns 20 during.

Coincidentally, her surname is the same as her computer generated codename, Walker.

Bubbily, but also extremely sensible and serious.

More extroverted than Alicia, but less than the average person.

Was on her way to meet family at Paddington station as she was travelling down for a week in London with her dad, step mum, Ruby, half siblings, Tara, David and Luke, her uncle Joel, her aunt Maria and her cousins Alicia and Louis, as an early birthday present when she was approached by Fiona and dragged into the whole mess.

Close with Alicia before the events of The Walk.

Has a massive crush on Lawrence. in fact they sort of start a relationship.

Has PTSD due to the events of the Walk.

Survived day zero and lives in Mullins base during the apocalypse. Where she reconnects with her father Dominic, and cousins Alicia and Louis, but Louis dies a few weeks in and Alicia leaves for Abel Township on a special mission. Neither cousin are aware the other is still alive since then.

Sapper 5- James ‘Jamie’ Edward Carter

Jamie Carter was born to Molly and George Carter in 1900. He’s their only son.

His father was a policeman who was one of a handful of people who knew the identity of Jack The Ripper (although Jamie would never learn who it was) and his mother was responsible for uncovering the ‘Bicycle Face’ conspiracy at the age of 16, and was an avid suffragette and campaigner against police corruption.

Because of this, his family has always been, unbeknownst to him and his relatives, on a government watch list. 

He left school at 14 and started an apprenticeship in engineering.

He then signed up to fight in the war in 1915, underage. He survived, travelling across the globe from Africa to Russia.

Eventually he met Elizabeth Stewart, a Scottish nurse whilst in Russia.

Both of them were stuck in Russia after the war for a couple of years, and during that time they fell in love. They managed to leave Russia back to the London just before the Tsar was assassinated, and Jamie returned back to his apprenticeship, becoming an accomplished engineer and setting up his own company. 

despite this he constantly suffered flashbacks and nightmares from his time at war. 

They had three children. George, Joseph ‘Jojo’ and Edith ‘Edie’. 

He passed away in March 1999 at the age of 99. 

He is the grandfather of Dominic and Joel Bright and the great grandfather of Tabitha Walker, Alicia, Tara, Louis, David and Luke Bright. 

[technicolor--dreams]

The object of her affection: chapter 1

Plot summary: Summer 1937. Flighty heiress Susan (Merle Oberon) has been in love for years with her father’s business partner Joseph (Fredric March), and will stop at nothing to get the obejct of her affection, even if it means involving a wise cracking cab driver named Connor (Joel Mccrea) who has little patience for her silly antics.

p.s. i put the actors name and screencaps because that’s how i write, picturing a movie with actors. i hope it’s alright. also if there’s some spelling mistakes english is not my first language so bear with it.

If you had asked Susan Holbrook if she was a sore loser, she would've denied it vehemently, but that was only, of course, because she did not contemplate losing as an option altogether. Since she was born eighteen years before, life had bestowed every blessing upon her. The only daughter of Russ Holbrook, heir to the famed railway dynasty which settled in the United States a century before, she acquired money from her father, beauty from her mother, and her intelligence from both. Since she was an infant, she had been spoiled and pampered, not only by her parents, but also from nannies, servants, and family acquaintances who never failed to stop by the Holbrooks bearing gifts for the littlest one. Her life had been an easy one for most part, as anything she wanted was at her disposal, be it a toy or a pet, or a new shiny pair of shoe handcrafted in Paris. That was, until a fateful spring day on her fifteenth year of life, where she fell upon the only thing her parents couldn’t buy her – love.

She'd first met Joseph about  two years prior at her father's annual company picnic. As the boss' daughter, she was required to attend, but in all frankness, she didn't care much for the event. Everyone in attendance was either too young or too old to keep her company, as most of her peers had been sent to boarding school abroad by their parents once they became of age. Those who had once been her childhood friends were now across the ocean, while she had been left behind to be home schooled, her parents far too sentimental to send the only daughter a continent away.

That year's picnic hadn't seemed remarkable in any way. The weather had been considerably favorable, and the park adjacent to Susan's family's country estate provided the perfect scenery for relaxing and playing around. Conversation with her parents had been pleasurable, as much as it can be for any sixteen year-old girl, that is, and she indulged their friends in small chit-chat whenever they stopped by their table. Food and drinks had been good and plenty, and by the time two p.m. rolled round, she was ready to settle on a blanket with a book and doze off in the sun for a couple of hours.

It was during a particularly enthralling passage of Wuthering Heights, that a handsome stranger approaching her father caught her attention by standing in her light. When she put her book down and turned around he was already gone, immersed in chatter with her father a few feet away from her. From where she was standing she could only see his back, but she admired his tall, slender figure and his broad shoulders. She noted that his left finger was bare, not to mention he had a whole head full of hair, which was not something to underestimate in her limited opinion. How many times had she met perfectly handsome men who from the front sported luxurious locks, only to find out when she turned around that God had not been as generous in the back!

The man appeared beside her, after ending his conversation with Mr. Holbrook. "Do you mind If I sit here?" 

"Not at all." she replied, scooting aside to make room for him.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Joseph Westley." he extended his hand, "I just started working for your father a month ago."

"I'm Susan." she shook his hand in turn, "But you probably already knew that."

"Firm grip." he observed.

"Father says it's the mark of a great man."

"But you're not a man."

"Who says a woman can't be as great as any man?"

"True. Say, how old are you? Fifteen?"

"I'll be sixteen next month."

"Hm." Joseph picked a grape from a nearby container and popped it into his mouth. "You got moxy for your age. I like that. I bet you could convince someone you were a tree if you talked to them long enough."

"Perhaps. I've never tried. How old are you?"

"Thirty last month." He replied, looking far away pensively. "You know, it's nice to talk to someone young for a change. Everyone here's either five or fifty."

"Tell me about. I had to go to these things since I was a baby. You know, you should bring someone to keep you company at this sort of boring engagements ... “ Susan said coyly, trying to suss things out. “a girlfriend, or a wife."

"I don’t have any. Maybe someday. What about you? No one to keep you company?"

"Oh, no. I'm just there to play good little daughter and be the belle of the ball."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Why should it? I'm not one in a position to complain. Besides, once I'm eighteeen, everything's gonna change. I'll do what I want."

"Now, you sound exactly your age." Joseph laughed.

As they continued talking, Susan's fascination with Joseph only grew stronger. It was so different from any other male she'd met. He actually listened to her when she talked, never breaking eye contact and keeping her engaged with questions born out of genuine curiosity rather than mere duty. He treated her like a peer instead of fragile china doll, or a puppy that you pat on the head condescendingly after giving them a little treat.  

Susan hadn't been the only person impressed with Joseph, though, as Susan's father himself had nothing but praise for the young man. His arrival to the company had improved business tremendously, and he found him to be a shrewd businessman, not to mention a trustworthy employee. He saw a great future for him in their company, and soon he was a staple in their household, coming to dinner twice a month, much to Susan's delight. In a matter of months, he had become not only a close associate, but a close friend of the family and everyone could only say that the day they had met Joseph Westley had been a blessed one.

* * *

Months flew by, and they soon became years. Susan’s eighteenth birthday rolled around, and with that, her certainty that Joseph would finally reciprocate her love.  

"Happy birthday to youuu, Happy birthday to youuu. Happy Birthday, dear Susan, Happy birthday to youuuuuuu."  

The crowd surrounding Susan concluded their off-key rendition, clapping and cheering as the maid hauled a white sheet cake with an emblazoned gold eighteen on the table.

"Come on, darling, make a wish." Mrs. Holbrook urged her, patting her shoulder with her lacquered hand.

Susan leaned down on the table and rested her index on her chin, pretending to think it over. In truth, she knew all too well what she wanted, or rather who. In fact, she had been trying to get the object of her affection for years, to no avail. Her eyes glanced across the room where Joseph stood, his dark hair peeking over in the middle of the crowd, and before darting back on the cake she could’ve sworn she was him winking in her direction. She smiled, then blew on the burning candles with all her might. She was gonna get her wish this year, she swore to herself, If that was the last thing she'd do.

* * *

Susan walked towards the balcony, where Joseph leaned over the railing, smoking a cigarette.

"Here," she said, putting a slice of cake on the marble in front of him. "I saved you a corner piece. Those are the best ones."

"Thanks" he replied, putting out the cigarette on a nearby ashtray. "There was so many people trying to get a piece, I figured I'd never get close anyway."

"Consider this one the perks of being close friends with the birthday girl."

"So, how does eighteen feel?" He asked, digging with his fork into the white frosting.

"Don't you remember?"

"It's been a while," he chuckled, "You're gonna have to refresh my memory."

"Exactly the same, and completely different at the same time. There is so much I couldn't do yesterday that I could do now. For example, getting married ... I could just run off to Vegas with anyone and be done in a few hours. I'd be set for life, and no one could object." she said casually, hoping Joseph would catch the hint.

"Except voting, or drinking." he quipped.

"Oh, well. What's three years, anyway?"

"Three years is a lot of time at your age. Anything could change."

Susan waved her hand dismissively. "Why must you always be so practical?"

"Occupational hazard." he polished off the last bit of cake left on the plate, leaving a light smearing of frosting over his upper lip. “Listen, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you a-”

Susan giggled, unable to contain herself at the sight of Joseph’s serious frown next to his sugary moustache.

"What's so funny?"  

"You got a bit of -" she giggled some more, coming closer to reach for his face, then ran her thumb over his mouth.

"Susan." he said firmly, but not without a hint of fondness in his voice, retracting as gently as possible.

“All gone.” She reclined back on the railing, and licked the frosting from her fingers. "You know, I think a moustache would suit you. Look at Clark Gable. Before he had one he was nobody, then boom, he won an academy award. You should think about it."

"Maybe. That's a big change in a man's life." he said, averting her gaze and picking up his empty plate. "I think we'd better go back inside, it's getting chilly out here. Everyone is probably wondering where you are."

* * *

If there wasn’t one thing Susan couldn’t resist, it was a good piece of gossip. Mind you, she was not one to engage directly in the activity, but in her opinion, there was no harm done in being a passive listener. If wasn’t her fault if other people couldn’t keep their tongues tied, after all, and if she happened to be in earshot, she certainly couldn’t help what she ended up hearing.

So, of course, that monday, when she ran into some of her mother’s friends sitting poolside at the Country club after her weekly tennis practice, and found them immersed in deep hushed chatter, she couldn’t help but stopping by - not because she wanted to eavesdrop, of course. It would have just been quite impolite not to say hello, that was all. Etiquette and whatnot.  

“Good morning, ladies.”

The small group immediately stopped their chatter, turning their attention to Susan.

“Susan! Come, come sit, darling. You must be parched.” Mrs. Vance, one of her mother’s fellow member of the daughters of the American revolution said, before pouring her her a glass of iced tea.

Susan thanked her and sipped on her drink, as the woman kept talking.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come to your birthday party last week. It’s my Benjamin. The flu, you see. He’s always been sensitive to temperatures, but now I’m afraid age is catching up with him. He’s all bones and his skin, all wrinkles.”  

“Poor thing.” Susan said, sympathetically. “Send him my regards, and tell him I wish him a quick recovery.”

Mrs. Vance furrowed her brows, uncertain what to say. “I will, If he can understand what I’m saying.”

Susan put a hand on her heart. “Oh, gosh, I didn’t know his health that bad.”  

Mrs. Hoover, a little octogenarian with fiery red hair sitting on Susan’s right side, leaned into her. ”Benjamin is her sphinx cat.” she whispered.

“Oh.”  

“Anyway,” Mrs. Vance continued, “We’ll have occasion to see each other soon. Your family is coming to Martha’s Vineyard this fourth of July, right?”

“Oh, yeah, we wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.”

Every year during the days leading to the fourth of July, Susan and her parents flew to their Martha’s Vineyard property, alongside some of their close friends who also happened to have properties in the same area. It was a full on extravaganza filled with music, food, and games, leading up to the big party the night of the fourth, which the families took turns in hosting.

“You better not.” Mrs. Vance replied, “I heard this year it’s gonna be quite the event.”  

Her dark eyes closed into slits, her mouth thinning into an enigmatic smile, giving her the appearance of an elder Mona Lisa.

“Really?” Susan asked, perking up.

“Yes, but I shan’t say more.” the woman mimed zipping her mouth.

Mrs. Hanson, a plump blonde woman around her mother's age,  jumped in from her seat across the table. “An engagement is gonna be announced on the fourth, or so they say.”

“Oh, how fascinating!” Susan sighed, dreamily. “Whose?”

“Phyllis, I said no talking!” Mrs. Vance objected.

“No, dear, you said you would say nothing. I’ll talk as much as I please!” Mrs. Hanson replied, before turning back to Susan.  

“So, I was at the hairdresser yesterday, and who I run into if not Louella.”

Louise Carson, neè Wilson, was known to her family members by her birth name. But to everyone else who mattered she was known as “Louella”, due to her more than average-sized mouth.

“Her sister-in law lives right next door to the brother of the widow of the younger Wilson. You know, the short one, not the tall one.”

“And?” Susan pressed on.

“She says the daughter of the other Wilson brother is announcing her engagement at the party.”

“Which Wilson? the short one?”

“The middle one.”

“Age or height?”

“Both.” Mrs. Hanson replied, before turning to Mrs. Hoover. “Martha, what’s his daughter’s name?”  

“Helen.” her friend supplied.

“Yes!” Mrs. Hanson exclaimed. “She’s the one getting engaged. Do you know her, Susan?”

“Not really. We only met a few times. Wasn’t she studying in London?”

“She graduated a couple of months ago and came back home.”

“You left out the most important part, Phyllis!” Mrs. Hoover urged her friend. “The boy!”

“Oh, right. Who is she marrying?”

Mrs. Hoover smiled wickedly through her wrinkles, eager to share such a juicy piece of information.  

“You know him. It’s that nice young fellow who works for your father,” she thought it over for a second, ”Joseph.”

All color drained out of Susan’s face as the grip around the cold glass in her hand tightened, her heart beating a hundred miles an hour under her white tennis outfit. She didn’t dare move a muscle, or reply for that matter, fearing her feelings could have transpired in her reaction. If her shock was evident, she couldn’t tell either way, since the ladies around her seemed much more concerned with the sound of their own voices than anyone else's, buzzing like bees.

“Now, you have to promise to keep this hush-hush. It’s supposed to a surprise.” Mrs. Vance said.

“Hmm-hmm.” Susan agreed, nodding, before gulping down the remaining of her tea, her mind barely registering what was happening around her.

The ladies continued talking, engaging Susan in polite chatter, but the whole ordeal had clearly lost all of its appeal to her. What was the fun of gossip when you were at the offending end, albeit indirectly?  

So, she got up on unsteady feet and excused herself, leaving Mrs. Vance with the promise of coming over soon with her mother to visit Benjamin and share a cup of tea.

She checked her wristwatch on the way to the wooden building housing the changing rooms. It was only eleven in the morning, but she already couldn't wait for the day to be over.  

[willows-adventures-in-words]

I’ve finally completely finished a side project I’ve been working on off-and-on for a little more than a month. I’m proud of this and the one person that’s read it says it turned out really good.

The Last of Us: prologue word count: 5489 content warning (even though I would think it’s obvious): character death ________________________

The only sound in the house was the ticking of the clock. And the soft sound of the rustle of the fabric of the couch as Sarah readjusted herself. It was late at night, almost midnight, and she had fallen asleep waited for her dad to come home from work. He'd been gone all day only leaving a note on the fridge telling her he'd be home late. But even so she waited up for him. It was his birthday after all.

The sound of the front door opened followed immediately by a voice breaking the silence in the dark living room. “Tommy I-” The door closed as Joel continued speaking on his phone. “Tommy. Tommy listen to me; He is the contractor.” He paused for just a second and spoke back up in a hushed voice when he noticed Sarah asleep on the couch. “He's the contractor, okay? I can't lose this job.” There was a brief pause. “I-I understa...” Tommy started to interrupt him but then Joel spoke up. “Let's talk about this in the morning, okay?” He switched on the little table light next to the couch startling his daughter awake. “We'll talk about it in the morning.” Sarah let out a yawn. “Alright, goodnight.” Joel then dropped his phone on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“Hey,” Sarah greeted him as she started to move from her position.

Joel dropped his keys on the table next to his phone as he motioned for her to move. “Scoot.”

Sarah shuffled to the center of the couch making room for her dad to sit down, which he then did. “Fun day at work, huh?” she asked as Joel tiredly ran a hand over his face.

After readjusting his position, Joel rested his temple lightly against his hand and let out a sigh. “What are you still doing up? It's late.”

With momentary panic, Sarah twisted back to look at the clock hanging on the wall behind the couch. “Oh crud, what time is it?” The clock read 11:50.

“It's way past your bedtime.”

Turning to her dad, Sarah told him, “But it's still today,” before turning and moving off the couch and ducking down to grab something she hid between the couch and the hutch that sat next to it.

“Honey please not right now. I do not have the energy for this.”

“Here.” Sarah held out a small box to him even before she was fully on her feet.

Joel turned his attention to her and the gift. “What's this?” he asked as he reached over and accepted the item.

“Your birthday,” Sarah stated as she sat down facing him; eager to see what he'd think. Joel glanced over at her with a smile before flipping open the lid of the box. A watch. “You kept complaining about your broken watch...” He removed the watch from its case and, leaning forward, set the container on the table. “So, I figured, you know. You like it?”

Leaning back in the couch Joel clasped it on his wrist. He paused as he stared down at the watch. With a slight shake of the head he told her, “Honey, this is...” Lifting the watch to his ear.

“What?”

He tapped the face of the watch. “It's nice but I- I think it's stuck. It's not-”

“What? No, no no no.” Sarah didn't notice the smirk on Joel's face as she grabbed his arm pulling it closer to check the watch. Once she noticed the second hand ticking she shoved his arm back at him. “Oh, ha ha,” she said as she turned away and laid down on the couch, with her head resting on the opposite arm rest. Despite his antics she was still amused but wasn't going to admit it.

He gave his gift another once over. It was a really nice watch. Then, with amusement evident in his voice he asked, “Where did you get the money for this?”

Without missing a beat, Sarah stated, “Drugs.” She looked back to him. “I sell hardcore drugs.”

“Oh, good.” Joel reached forward and picked up the tv remote. “You can start helping out with the mortgage then.” Joel turned on the television.

“Tsk. Yeah, you wish.”

Joel got up from the couch. It was an hour and a half after he had gotten home and Sarah had finally fallen asleep a short time ago. He tilted her knees up and turned her slightly so he could lift her up in his arms. Her head rested against his shoulder as he carried her. Joel took her upstairs and down the hall to her room. Laying her down on her side and he gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “Good night baby girl.” He said this softly before he turned to leave the room; pausing briefly at her door he looked back with a soft smile before closing the door, carefully so as not to wake her.

The sound of the phone by her bedside woke her up. Propping herself on her elbow, Sarah reached over and picked it up answering with a hello. “Sarah, honey, I need you to get your daddy on the phone.”

“Uncle Tommy, what time is it?” She stammered a bit, confused and a bit concerned.

“I need to talk to your dad now. There's some-”

Suddenly the line was cut off. “Uncle Tommy? Hello?” When there wasn't a response aside from the beeping she put the phone back on its port. Sitting up she swung her legs over the side of her bed. She pushed herself to her feet before rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “What was that all about?” she wondered aloud as she started to her bedroom door to look for her dad. “Dad?” she called out after leaving her room. There was no response though.

After reaching the bathroom door, which was at the end of the hall from her room, she glanced over and saw light coming from her dad's room. Maybe he was watching tv and didn't hear her. Sarah called out to him again as she started over to his room. The door was cracked open and she could indeed hear the tv on. It sounded like the news. Pushing the door open she asked, “You in here?” She glanced about the room. The TV and ceiling fan were on, bed was a mess but empty. “Where the heck are you..?”

Sarah wondered in the room as the the lady on the news caught her attention. “We've received reports that victims afflicted with the infection show signs of increased aggression and-” she paused as a man hurried over to the other men behind her and started speaking.

“We need to move everybody out of here now. There's a gas leak. Hey! Move!” He shouted the last part to some of the others.

“There seems to be some commotion coming from behi-”

The man from before interrupted and yelled over to her. “Lady get the hell outta here right-” He was cut off as an explosion went off behind them cutting the video feed bringing static to the TV.

“Uh... what was that?” Sarah questioned. Though barely finished the thought when an explosion was heard. She jerked her attention out the window and saw the last bit of fire and the plume of smoke in the air. Staring out the window it took her a moment to recover. But once she did she turned and hurried out of the room. “Dad?!” she called out more panicked than she was before.

The little night light illuminated the stairs as Sarah started downstairs. “What is goin' on?” She could hear police sirens even before they passed by the front of their house. Sarah paused momentarily to watch the three police cars speed by. Once the sound of there sirens past she could hear the sound of dogs barking outside. Walking through the living room to the dining room she stopped as she heard her dad's phone buzzing. Looking over she spotted it on the extra counter-top in the kitchen. “There's his phone.” Her bare feet were chilled as she stepped onto the tiled floor of the kitchen. Picking up the phone she took note of the missed notifications. “Eight missed calls. Where the hell are you? Call me. On my way.” The two texts were from her uncle and she assumed the calls were too. She set the phone down. What was going on?

She noticed the double doors to their den were open. Maybe her dad was there? Sarah was about to call out again when suddenly, one of the dogs that were barking outside let out a whine and fell silent. With a gasp, Sarah hugged herself. She was on edge as she continued towards the open doors. Pushing them open the rest of the way she slowly made her way inside. She glanced around then jumped when someone ran inside from the open slider than quickly turned and closed the door behind them. He was panting heavily. She relaxed a little once she realized it was her dad. “There you are.”

Joel quickly looked over at the sound of her voice. “Sarah. Are you okay?” He bumped against the rolling chair at the desk. He sent a quick glance to the desk next to him before he looked back to Sarah. The second she told him 'yeah', Joel turned to the desk and quickly opened one of the drawers and removed a box setting it on the desk and opened it. “Has anyone come in here?” he asked her with a quick look to his daughter before turned back to the gun case.

“No. Who would come in here?” Sarah asked as she stepped closer. She watched him as he removed the handgun and started to load the ammunition.

“Don't go near the doors. Just...” He sounded panicked. Everything he'd been saying held a sense of panic to it. “Just stand back...”

Sarah was already unnerved and the way her dad was talking and acting was making her a little afraid. And it showed in her voice as she spoke. “Dad, you're kinda freaking me out.” Though she did as she was told and stepped back towards more of the middle of the room, she asked, “What's going on?”

“It's the Coopers. Somethin' ain't right with 'em. I th- I think they're sick.”

“What kind of sick?” She barely finished her question when there was a bang on the glass sliding door Joel had come in from earlier. Sarah let out a startled gasp and took a couple steps back.

“Jesus.” Joel jerked back, gun in hand, and turned his attention to the door. The bloodied man outside hit the door again. “Jimmy!”

“Dad?”

Joel quickly moved over to his daughter. “Honey, c'mere. C'mere.” He protectively kept one arm back by her as she ducked behind him. The man, Jimmy, banged against the glass again. “Jimmy- Jimmy just stay back!” He banged against it again this time the glass shattered and he stumbled and fell inside. “Jimmy I am warning you.”

Sarah whispered, “Oh my god...” As Jimmy scrambled to his feet and charged at them.

“Don't!” Joel shouted in a last attempt to get through to him. Jimmy was barely a foot away from them when Joel pulled the the trigger. Sarah cried out behind him. Blood splattered and Jimmy went down. He writhed for a second before he was still.

Joel started to back up, ushering his daughter to do the same. “Go.” He grabbed Sarah by the wrist and turned around. “Go.” Joel pulled her from the room while she stared in shock at their dead neighbor. He brought them to a stop in the dining room. Joel tucked the handgun in his jeans.

“You... You shot him...”

“Sarah.” Joel rested his hands on her shoulders.

“I saw him this mornin'.”

“Listen to me; there is something bad going on. We have got to get outta here. Do you understand me?”

She sniffled and paused for a second before nodding. “Yeah.”

Headlights shone through the windows. Joel looked up. “Tommy. C'mon.” He took her by the hand. Sarah sent a glance back to the den. “C'mon,” he said again as he coaxed her towards the front door.

“Okay.” She quickly hurried along only to send one more look back as they were reaching the door.

They were barely outside when Tommy spoke up. “Where the hell you been?” He walked around the front of his SUV towards them as they stepped off their deck and headed to his vehicle. “You have any idea what's goin' on out there?”

“I got some notion,” Joel told him.

“Holy shit. You got blood all over you.”

Joel opened the back door of the SUV. “C'mon baby. Go on in there.” Though she didn't need to be told as she was already climbing in. As he shut the door behind her he told his brother, “It ain't mine. Let's just get outta here.”

“They're saying that half the people in the city have lost their minds,” Tommy told him as Joel opened the passenger side door.

“Can we just please go?” Joel said as he got in the car shutting the door behind him.

Tommy continued talking as he headed back around to the drivers side. “Some sort of parasite or somethin'.” Getting in the car he shut the door then turned to his brother and asked, “You gonna tell me what happened?”

“Later.”

That was good enough for him as he started the car back up. “Hey, Sarah,” he started as he backed the car out of Joel's driveway. “How you holdin' up honey?”

“I'm fine.” Once he was done backing up she scootched to the middle seat and rested a hand on the side of her dad's seat. “Can we hear what's on the radio?”

Tommy started driving down the road. “Yeah, sure thing,” he told her as he reached to the dash to turn it on.

“Thanks.”

He fiddled with the dials for a bit before giving up. “No cellphone. No radio. Yeah, we're doin' great. Minute ago newsman wouldn't shut up.”

“They say where to go?” Joel asked.

“He said, ah... Army's puttin' up road blocks on the highway. No gettin' into Travis County.”

“That means we need to get the hell out,” Joel stated. Police sirens were heard as they approached a T intersection. “Take 71.”

“71,” Tommy said it at the same time as Joel, “that's where I'm headed.” He waited for the cops to pass by before heading in the direction they came from.

Sarah spoke up and asked, “Did they say how many were dead?” Joel looked back at her.

“Probably a lot,” Tommy told her. “Found this one family all mangled inside their house.”

Joel turned his attention to him and grabbed his arm. “Tommy.” A warning telling him to stop.

Tommy quickly looked over then glanced back at Sarah. “Right.” He turned back to the road. “Sorry.”

They traveled in silence for a moment before they spotted a car crashed into a street light. “Jesus Christ, how did this happen?”

Pulling onto the dirt road next to the accident, Tommy spoke up. “They got no clue. But we ain't the only town. At first they were saying it was just the South. Now they're going on about the East Coast, the West Coast...” He stopped when he saw a barn house on fire a distance ahead of them. “Holy hell. That's Louis' farm. I hope that son of a bitch made it out.”

Sarah shuffled over to the window and pressed her hands against it as she stared out at the fire as they drove by. “I'm sure he did,” Joel told him. It was an attempt to being a little positive. Since being a doom thinker, or even thinking realistically given the circumstance, with Sarah present was not something he wanted to do. Not right now.

“...Are we sick?” Sarah asked still looking out at the burning building.

“No, of course not,” Joel told her.

“How do you know?”

This time it was Tommy that spoke up. “They said it's just ah, people in the city,” he tried to reassure her. “We're good.”

Sarah turned back to the front. “Didn't Jimmy work in the city?”

There was a slight pause. “That's right he did.”

“We're fine. Trust me,” Joel told her.

“Alright.” She said this softly. She wanted to believe it.

They drove for a bit longer before Tommy slowed slightly as he saw a family on the side of the road. “Let's see what they need.”

Joel turned to him and demanded, “What the hell do you think your doin'? Keep drivin'.”

Tommy sent a look over to his brother. “They got a kid, Joel.”

“So do we,” Joel ground out.

“But we have room,” Sarah spoke up.

The man on the road side waved his arms to get their attention. “Keep drivin', Tommy,” Joel told him. Tommy reluctantly complied. They could hear the man call for them stop. “You ain't seen what I seen. Someone else 'll come along.”

Sarah twisted back in her seat and watched them grow smaller as they got farther away. “... We shoulda helped them.” It fell quiet in the car after that.

It was only a couple minutes later, as they started down hill, that the medical center came into view. Then the sound of a siren sounded as an ambulance pulled out onto the road and flew past them. Sarah watched as it drove by. “Oh, this is bad.” Sarah turned her attention back to the front. There was a line of cars far beyond what they could see. “Everyone and their mother had the same damn idea.”

Joel sighed. “Well... we could just backtrack and-” He stopped as the driver of the car in front of them got out of his vehicle and started hollering at the people stopped farther down. Suddenly, someone wearing a hospital gown charged out of the brush by the road and slammed the man against his car before throwing him to the ground and attacking him. “Holy shit.” It was said under Joel's breath as the scene unfolded. Someone else ran over, also wearing a gown, and clambered inside the car attacking the passenger. “Turn us around. Tommy.” Joel shook his brothers shoulder and shouted his name when one of the attackers started towards their vehicle.

That snapped him out of his shocked state. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed as he quickly switched his SUV in reverse and backing up. Just as he stepped on the gas the man hit against the back drivers side window startling Sarah. “What the fuck just happened – did you see that?” The road they were now on led into the city.

“Yes. I saw it.” Tommy cursed under his breath. Joel pointed off the their left. “Turn here. Turn here.”

Tommy took a sharp turn causing his passengers to brace themselves. Except the road they turned onto had dozens of people running in their direction. Afraid. He slowed down and inched his way forward trying to get through them. “Come on people. Move.”

“What are they running from?” Sarah questioned. She was wary; bordering on afraid. The people were crying out, terrified.

“Get us outta here.”

“I'm tryin',” Tommy told his brother before slamming on his breaks to stop himself from hitting someone.

“We can't stop here Tommy,” Joel stated.

“I can't fuckin' drive through 'em Joel!”

“Then back up then!”

“They're behind me too!”

The amount of people dwindled and the gap between the crashed camper and buildings on the other side was open. “There. There!” Joel shouted as he pointed out the opening.

“Hold on!” Tommy started through the gap. A couple stragglers jumped out of the way of his vehicle. He turned so they were back on the road and about to cross an intersection.

Sarah gasped and shouted, “Look out!” Joel and Tommy had just enough time to look over as a truck came barreling down the road slamming into them.

Joel woke to his daughter shaking his arm and calling quietly out to him. “What..?” There was also the sound of chaos. Opening his eyes the first thing he saw was a crashed truck with two occupants; one dead and the other violently attacking them. Their own vehicle was on its side. “Get back, baby. Get back.” Joel readjusted his position, bracing his hands against the top of the vehicle and lifted his leg, and kicked hard against the already cracked windshield. And again. He grunted in frustration before he kicked it again, this time shattering and knocking it out of the SUV.

Pushing himself up on his elbow, Joel shifted his position before crawling out amongst the people fleeing the chaos. Climbing to his feet, he leaned for a second against the knocked over vehicle before it sounded like someone shouted something before he saw, just in time, the mad man running at him. Joel got pushed back against the SUV by the growling and grunting man. Pressing his forearm against his chest, Joel tried to keep him at a distance while with his other hand deflecting his attempts to hit him. Then suddenly Tommy ran over and slammed a brick in the crazed man face. He was dead as he hit the ground. A look of shocked relief crossed Joel's face. His eyes caught Tommy's as his brother looked back to him before they heard Sarah call out.

Joel quickly ducked down to the front of the vehicle. “I'm here, baby, I'm here. Come on gimme your hand.” She quickly scrambled over and grabbed his hand stumbling slightly as she exited the vehicle. Sarah let out a gasp as she put pressure on her leg and fell against her dad. “What is it?” Joel asked, concerned.

“My leg hurts,” she told him, out of breath and in pain.

Joel slouched slightly to look her in the face. “How bad?”

“Pretty bad.”

“We're gonna need to run,” Tommy called over as he backed away from acting as a lookout.

Turning to where Tommy was watching, Joel muttered, “Oh my god.” Reaching back he grabbed his gun from where he'd tucked it away to earlier and handed it to his brother. “You keep us safe,” he told him. “Come on baby,” he said as he scooped his daughter up in his arms. “Now hold on tight.”

“Okay,” she managed as Joel ran down the street following after Tommy.

There were shouts and screams around them as they ran. The crazed, infected people ran at them dragging people to the ground. Swarming over the ones that stumbled or tripped and fell. “Daddy, I'm scared.”

Tommy shouted to Joel to watch out. Joel took a second to acknowledge the incoming threat who instead went after someone who was drug down by another. “Keep your eyes closed honey,” he said in response to his daughters fear.

A car was seen crashing into the gas station up ahead causing an explosion. Joel held Sarah closer as he and Tommy started down another road. There was a building on fire with people starting to shamble out. “Those people are on fire...”

“Don't look, Sarah. Just keep looking at me baby.” If she wasn't going to shut her eyes the best he could do was try to keep her focused on him instead of the chaos around them.

Tommy came to a stop in front of a fire truck that was stopped blocking the road. He glanced about for a second before pointing over to the front of the truck where there was a gap. “Over there!” They continued on. Tommy, however, jerked to a halt as a couple cars crashed into each other.

Joel continued talking to his daughter. Continued to try to reassure her. “We're gonna get outta this. I promise.”

As they started to approach the theater at the end of the street they could clearly see the fire emitting from a car before it exploded. Tommy shouted back to Joel, “Get back! There's too many of 'em.” Tommy quickly spotted another path and waved them over. “This way! Through the alley!” he called over as he hurried to the alley and pushed open the iron gate holding it open for his brother.

Joel ran through the open door and past his brother. Once the alley opened up more, Joel noticed movement in his peripheral. He acted quickly. Turning, he dropped Sarah's legs and raised his now free arm to block their incoming assailant with his forearm; much like he's done before. His attacker flailed and hit him in the back before Tommy kicked the man back causing him to fall to the ground. Tommy rushed over, stepped on his chest, and shot him in the head. “He's dead,” he told Joel.

“Jesus,” Joel muttered under his breath. Quickly, he scooped Sarah back up in his arms and followed after his brother. “We're almost there. We're almost there, baby.” Her grip tightened slightly.

They kept moving down the zigzag of the alley. They spotted a fenced wall with three infected men on the other side trying to get through. But according to Tommy they were succeeding, though Joel couldn't see where and wasn't about to stop to look. The alley ended on the next turn. Ahead of them was a dead end. There were a couple large dumpsters and to their right there looked to be outdoor seating for a restaurant. “C'mon!” Tommy ran up the few steps towards the side-door to the diner. “Joel! Move it!” The second Joel got inside with Sarah, Tommy turned to swing the door closed. But the three guys from behind the fence reached the door and stuck their arms through. They were pushing and swinging their arms around trying to grab him. “Get to the highway!”

Joel turned to face him. “What?” He didn't want to leave him in the midst of this.

“Go,” he insisted. “You got Sarah! I can out run 'em!”

“Uncle Tommy!” There was fear in her voice. She's seen enough; she didn't want him to be left behind. She didn't want him to die.

Joel hesitated for a second. Before he concluded that he was right. He had to worry about Sarah.  And Tommy was quick. ...But so were the crazed infected people. “I will meet you there.” He told him this with the tone that said 'you better be there.'

“Hurry!” Tommy called after them as Joel moved through the restaurant to get to he front doors.

Sarah was on the verge of tears as Joel pushed through the door. “Daddy, we can't leave him.”

“He's gonna be fine,” he tried to reassure her. They stepped out to a parking area. There was a wall surrounding the property. Part of the smaller portion of the wall was broken and easy to pass through. Joel crossed the parking lot trying to ignore the man getting mauled by one of the infected people. They were on a dirt path that wound towards the highway. “We're almost there.”

They could hear the infected man behind them. “They're gettin' closer.”

A tipped over ambulance laid on the side of the path. As they passed by Joel saw a paramedic crawling out, grunting and groaning in that non-normal way. He hurried onward up the hill. They were getting closer. He could hear them. Were they going to make?

Suddenly, there was gunfire from an automatic weapon. Sarah hid her face in Joel's shoulder as she screamed out and Joel twisted away trying to keep her out of harms way and held her closer. There was a light flashing at them. Joel looked over once the gunfire ended. There stood a soldier. Turning back to his daughter he said, “It's okay, baby.” She lifted her head. “We're safe. We're safe.” He was out of breathe. All that running and finally, finally they were going to be okay. “Hey!” he called out to the soldier. “We need help.”

“Stop!” The man lifted a hand signaling for them to stop.

“Please.” Joel started a slow, worn approach. “It's my daughter. I think her legs broken.”

The soldier pointed his gun at them. “Stop right there!”

Joel froze. “Okay...” He took a couple slow steps back. “We're not si-sick.”

He spoke into his radio. “Got a couple of civilians in the outer perimeter. Please advise.”

“Daddy, what about Uncle Tommy?” Sarah asked her dad though not looking away from the other man.

Joel sent a quick glance to her, wary of what was going on, before turning his attention to her and saying, “We're gonna get you to safety and go back for him. Okay?” She looked up at him for a moment but when the soldier spoke again they both turned their attention back to him.

“Sir, there's a little girl.” Joel tensed slightly. “But...” The soldier gave a slight sigh. “Yes Sir.”

“Listen, buddy, we've just been through hell.” There was a tenseness to his voice as well. Though it held a bit of desperation as he continued. “Okay, we just need-” He abruptly cut his sentence short as the soldier lifted his rifle. “Oh, shit.” Just as he started to turn away the soldier opened fire. They both cried out and Joel unintentionally dropped his daughter and they went tumbling down the hill.

Joel groaned as he rolled onto his back, a hand to his side. He scrunched himself up slightly as the soldier came down he hill. The light on the rifle blinding him as he looked up. He pleaded with him. “Please, don't.”

Suddenly a shot fired and the soldier's head jerked as blood splattered. Joel watched in shock as he fell to the ground. He lifted his gaze to see Tommy walking over. Tommy gave him a quick nod before he stopped in his tracks; his eyes looked past Joel. “Oh no...”

That's when Joel heard it. The crying. Joel twisted back to look. “Sarah!” Quickly, he crawled over on hands and knees to his crying daughters side. Sarah had her hands pressed to her bloody side. “Move your hands baby.” But she wasn't. He took one of them and she immediately reached up to him with her other. Her gasping cries. Her fear and pain. “I know, baby. I know...” Joel pressed his hands to her wound. “Listen to me. I know this hurts, baby.” She grabbed onto his arm. “You're gonna be okay, baby. Stay with me.” Sarah needed help. Help he couldn't give her. He needed to get her help. “Alright. I'm gonna pick you up.” She cried out. “I know baby. I know it hurts.” Joel looked to Tommy, desperate. “Come on, baby. Please.” Tommy slowly slumped down to his knees. “I know, baby. I know.” Why was he giving up? They had to help Sarah. They... Suddenly there was silence.

Joel looked down to his daughter. “Sarah...” Her eyes were open, but she was quiet. He gripped her hand. “Baby...” He rocked her in his arms. “Don't do this to me, baby. Don't do this to me, baby girl. Come on...” Lowering his head, broken sobs wrecked through him. “No. no...” Joel pulled her close and held onto to her. “Oh no, no, no... Please.” He sat, holding her, rocking back and forth. “Oh, God. Please, please, don't do this. Please, God...”

Joel stopped talking then. He just cried, holding his daughter's body.

[layce2015]

The Last Of Us (Joel x Reader)

Chapter 1: The Beginning of The End

Here's Chapter 2

"Tommy, I-- Tommy. Tommy listen to me, he is the contractor." I hear Joel's voice say, alittle louder as he enters the house. My eyes flicker open as Joel lowers his voice as he talks on the phone. "He's the contractor, okay? I can't lose this job. I understand...let's talk about this in the morning, okay? We'll talk about it in the morning." 

I yawn then look down to see Sarah was laying next to me, her head on my lap, fast asleep. Until Joel flicks the lamp, next to the couch, on. She jumps slightly and yawns, as well, as she starts to sit up. Earlier today, she and I had a girl's night as we pigged out on pizza and watched movies since Joel had to work late. She insisted to stay up late so that she could give him his birthday present that she got him. I told her that that was fine, but we ended up falling asleep.

"Alright, goodnight." Joel said and he hangs up and sets his cellphone on the little table in front of the couch. "Hey." I greeted my husband as I scoot down for him to have room on the couch to sit down. "Fun day at work, huh?" Sarah asked as Joel sighs and leans back in his seat and places his left arm around my shoulder while running his right hand over his eyes.

"What are you still doing up? It's late." He asked Sarah. "It's my fault, Joel." I said as Sarah turns and looks up at the clock. "Crud. What time is it?" She asked as she looks up to see that it was ten minutes to midnight.

"It's way past your bedtime." Joel said, exhausted. "But it's still today!" She said then she looks over at me. "Can I give it to him?" She asked. "Go ahead, sweetheart." I replied and she smiles, gets down on the floor and crawls over to the end of the couch. "Honey, please not right now. I do not have the energy for this." Joel said, exhausted still.

"Joel..." I said as she stands up and holds out a box to him. "Here." She said. "What's this?" Joel asked as he takes the box. "Your birthday." Sarah and I replied. He smirks at us as he removes his arm off of me and opens the box, revealing a brand new watch inside. 

"You kept complaining about your broken watch...so I figured, you know." Sarah said, shrugging, as Joel takes the watch out of the box and puts on his new watch. "You like it?" Sarah asked him as she looks up at him.

"Honey, this is...." Joel said then he lifts up his arm, raising his watch to his ear. "What?" Sarah and I asked him. "It's nice but I--I think it's stuck. It's not..." Joel started to say as he stares at the watch and Sarah freaks out as she grabs his arm to look at the watch. "What? No, no, no, no." She said, frantically, but she and I see that the watch was working just fine. "Oh ha, ha." Sarah said, sarcastically, and Joel chuckles at his little joke.

"Joel, don't scare us like that." I said as I playfully slap his shoulder and Sarah goes and lays down on the other side of the couch. "Did she beg you for the money?" Joel asked me. "No, a friend of mine paid her. He said he had a little job for her to do." I joked. "Yeah, I sell drugs now, dad. Hardcore drugs." Sarah said, going along with the joke.

"Oh, good. You can start helping out with the mortgage then." He said as he leans forward, picks up the TV remote and turns the TV on. "Stsh--yeah, you wish." Sarah said while Joel sits back in the couch and I cuddle up to him as he places his left arm over my shoulder again. I kiss his cheek and watch TV with him.

****

About an hour and a half later, I look over and see Sarah had passed out once again and I smiled. "Looks like someone's out like a light." I whispered and Joel looks over at her. The both of us stand up and I turn off the TV as he goes over to her, picks her up and carries her up to her bedroom, I follow close behind.

Once we enter her room, Joel sets Sarah down on her bed and I pick up her blanket and drape it over her. "Goodnight, baby girl." Joel whispers as moves a strand of hair away from her face. He takes a few steps back as I go over and kiss the side of her head. "Sleep tight." I whispered and both of us head for our bedroom.

I change into some sleeping clothes and climb into bed next to Joel, who had turn the bedroom TV on. "Suddenly not tired?" I asked him. "Just need something to lull me to sleep." He replied as cuddle up to him, once more. "Mmmm." I hummed as I look up at him. He looks down at me then we began to kiss each other.

We have a little make-out session for a few minutes but I stop before it went too far. "As much as I would love to go further, I have to go to work in a few hours. So..." I said to him and he nods. "It's alright. Maybe tomorrow?" He asked. "We'll see." I said as I wink at him then give him one more kiss. 

"I love you." He whispers to me.

"I love you too." I said then I lay my head against his chest and let myself fall into a slumber, the noise of the TV sounding further and further away.

I guess I should explain who I am. My name is (y/n). I met Joel a few years ago at a coffee shop I work at. He came in the shop, one day, with his daughter, Sarah, and they ordered their drinks. While waiting, he and I, suddenly, just started to have a conversation and talked about everything and anything. From then on he and Sarah would come in almost every day in the afternoon and talk to me.

From what Sarah told me, she knew Joel had an interest in me and she kept trying to get him to ask me out. She told me that she had never seen her dad looks so happy, not since her mother. The only thing I know about Sarah's mother was that her and Joel had Sarah when they were young and they got married soon afterwards. But her mom left him a few years after their marriage, they divorced and Joel got custody of Sarah. Joel's never gotten into much details about it and I never pushed it as to not upset him.

But anyway, Sarah kept bugging her dad to ask me out on a date. He, at first, refused but eventually he did ask me out. After dating for a couple of years, Joel then asked me to marry him and, of course, I said yes. Few months later, we got married and now here we are about a couple of years later, and I couldn't have been happier. And even though she's not my biological daughter, Sarah feels like she's my own and I love her to death. Life was great!

But little did I know that our lives were gonna change forever...and not for the better.

****

"Mom? Dad?" I hear Sarah's voice call out. I groan as I open my eyes to see that the TV was left on and Joel was nowhere to be found. The bedroom door opened and Sarah walks in. "Mom?" She said as she enters. "Sarah? What's wrong, sweeite?" I asked her as I rubbed my eyes.

"Where's Daddy?" She asked, worriedly. "I don't know, sweetheart. I just woke up myself." I said as sit up. "Uncle Tommy called. He said he needed to talk to dad but the line cut out." Sarah said just as the news comes on.

It appears that what we initially reported as riots: seem to be somehow connected to the nationwide pandemic. We've received reports that victims afflicted with the infection show signs of increased aggression and-

But then someone behind the reporter interrupted her and said, firmly. "We need to move everybody out of here now." 

"That's nearby." Sarah noted as the reporter said. "There seems to be some commotion going on behind me."

"Get out of here!"

"Lady, get the hell outta here right--" an officer was saying when suddenly an explosion goes off right on the TV. The scary thing was that we heard and saw the explosion, some miles away, just outside our window. "What the hell?" I muttered as I get up out of the bed and run to the window to see a second explosion go off. "Oh God!" Sarah exclaims and I run over to the closet open the door and start to change into jeans and a t-shirt, the door was wide enough to cover me.

Once I changed, I go over to Sarah and grab her hand. "Let's go find your father." I said as we walk out of the room.

"Dad?!" Sarah calls out.

"Joel?!" I yelled as we went down the stairs. At that moment, about four or five police cars zoomed pass with their sirens blaring. "What the heck is going on?" Sarah asked. "I don't know." I muttered as we walked towards the kitchen, where I hear a buzzing sound. I look and see Joel's phone is on the counter.

I go over to his phone and picked it up to see that he had eight missed calls and tons of text from Tommy, his brother, who sounded worried and panicked. 

Where the hell are you?

Call me.

On my way.

"I don't like this." I muttered as set his phone down then we go over to the study room to see if Joel was in there. I open the door to the room when Joel runs in from the side door, that leads to the backyard. He sounded like he had ran a marathon when he shuts the sliding door and backs away from the door.

"There you are." I said to him and he turns to me. "(Y/n). Are you and Sarah okay?" He asked, almost in a panic. "Yeah." I replied, confused at his behavior. "Has anyone come in here?" He asked as he goes over to his desk and digs around in the drawers.

"No." I replied.

"Who would come in here?" Sarah asked as her and I walk closer to him. 

"Don't go near the doors. Just...just stand back there." He ordered and we take a few steps back. "Dad, you're kinda freaking me out." Sarah said, nervously. "Joel, what's going on?" I asked him as I could see that he had pulled out his gun case and was loading his pistol with some bullets.

"It's the Coopers. Somethin' ain't right with 'em. I think they're sick." He replied. "What kind of sick?" I asked him when suddenly a loud thud hits the sliding glass door. Sarah and I jump at this as I hear growls and screams coming from outside. Then I go and push Sarah behind me as Joel looks out the door. "Jimmy!" He yells.

"Dad?!" Sarah screamed.

"Joel!" I exclaimed in fear as Joel goes to stand in front of us. "Girls, c'mere, c'mere." He said and we get behind him. "Jimmy." Joel said again as I could see someone slamming theirselves against the door until the glass breaks and Jimmy burst through.

"Jimmy, just stay back." Joel ordered as Jimmy falls forward but as he gets up, I could see he was covered in blood and there was blood coming out of his mouth. He also looked crazed, like he had lost his mind. "Jimmy. I am warning you." Joel warned just as Jimmy gets up.

"Oh my God." I muttered when Jimmy runs towards us. "Don't!" Joel yelled but Jimmy doesn't stop running towards us. But before he could get to us, Joel fires his gun and shoot him, killing him. Sarah gasps and sobs at this as I exclaimed. "Holy shit!"

"Go. Go." Joel said to us and we run back towards the kitchen. "Y-You shot him..." Sarah said to Joel, devastated. "What the hell, Joel?" I asked in a panic. "Girls." Joel said as he looks between us.

"I saw him this mornin'." Sarah mutters.

"Listen to me, there is something bad going on. We have got to get outta here. Do you two understand me?" Joel asked us and we nodded at him just as I saw headlights coming up our driveway. "Tommy. C'mon." Joel said as he takes my hand in his and I take Sarah's and the three of us run out of the house.

We run outside to see Tommy walking out of his SUV, walking towards us. "Where the hell you been? You have any idea what's goin' on out there?" He asked Joel. "I got some notion." Joel said as we run to the door to the backseat and he opens it. "C'mon, girls. Get on in there." He said and I gestured to Sarah to climb in first. "Go on, sweetie." I said and she gets in first then I climb in. 

Joel shuts the door behind me as Tommy gets a better look at his older brother. "Holy shit. You got blood all over you." He exclaims. "It ain't mine. Let's just get outta here." Joel told him as he climbs into the passenger's seat. "They're saying half the people in the city have lost their minds." Tommy said as he climbs in the driver's seat.

"Can we just please go?" Joel asked him. 

"Some sort of parasite or somethin'. You gonna tell me what happened?" Tommy asked. "Later." Joel replied then Tommy turns his head to me and Sarah. "Hey, Sarah. (Y/n). How you girls holdin' up?" He asked us. "I'm fine." Sarah replied as Tommy backs out of the driveway. "Me too. Can we hear what's on the radio?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure thing." He replied. 

"Thanks." I said as Tommy tries to turn on the radio but the stations were all silent. "No cellphone. No radio. Yeah, we're doin' great." Joel grumbles as Tommy continues to drive down the road. "Minute ago, newsman wouldn't shut up." Tommy said to him. "They say where to go?" Joel asked. "He said, ah... Army's puttin' up roadblocks on the highway. No gettin' into Travis County." Tommy replied as we come up to a two-way intersection.

"That means we need to get the hell out." Joel mutters just as Tommy stops the car and looks at the road signs. "Take 71." Joel instructs him. "71, that's where I'm headed." Tommy said just as some cop cars roar pass us. After they pass, Tommy takes a right turn and heads towards the city.

"Did they say how many are dead?" I asked them. "Probably a lot. Found this one family all mangled inside their house." Tommy replied then Joel looks over at his brother. "Tommy." He said in a low tone as I place an arm around Sarah's shoulder, who looked a little horrified. "Right. Sorry." Tommy said, apologetically. "How did this happen?" Joel asked. 

"They got no clue. But we ain't the only town. At first they were saying it was just the South. Now they're going on about the East Coast, the West Coast..." Tommy replied and I gasp as we come up to a farmhouse that was on fire. "Holy hell." Tommy mutters in shock. "That's Louis' farm." I said as we pass the house. "I hope that son of a bitch made it out." Tommy remarks. "I'm sure he did." Joel assured.

"Are we sick?" Sarah asked them. "No. No, of course not." Joel said, quickly. "How do you know?" I asked him. "They said it's just...ah...people in the city. We're good." Tommy replied. "Didn't Jimmy work in the city?" Sarah asked and Joel and Tommy look at each other. "That's right, he did." Joel said. "We're fine. Trust me." Tommy assures as we come up to what looked like a family, on the side of the road.

"Let's see what they need." Tommy said as he starts to slow down but Joel places his hand on his shoulder. "What the hell do you think you're doin'? Keep drivin'." He said, firmly, to Tommy. "They got a kid, Joel." I pointed out to him as I place my hand on his shoulder. "So do we." He replied as he turns his head to look at me and placed his hand over mine. "But we have room." Sarah said.

"Hey!" One of the passersby shouts as he comes up to the side of the road, waving his arms above his head. Joel turns his head to Tommy and said. "Keep drivin', Tommy." And Tommy does just that.

"Hey, stop! Stop!" The man yells as we pass him.

"You ain't seen what I seen. Someone else'll come along." Joel said as he strokes his thumb over my hand. "We shoulda helped them." Sarah mutters.

Finally we make it into the city, only to find traffic was jammed. "Oh, this is bad. Everyone and their mother had the same damn idea." Tommy said as he stops the car. "Well...we could just backtrack and--" Joel started to say when a motorist gets out of his car, that was in front of us, to complain at the cars ahead of him.

"Hey, what the fuck, man? Let's go!" He screams just as a crazy person sprints forward towards the man and begins killing him.

"Holy shit." Tommy said in horror while I gasp in fear. "Oh my God." Sarah gasps. "Turn us around. Tommy. Tommy." Joel exclaimed as the crazy person looks over at us. "Holy shit." Tommy shouts and he starts to back up, just as the crazy person starts running towards us, then takes off before the guy could get to us.

"What the fuck just happened? Did you see that?" Tommy asked Joel, fearfully. "Yes, I saw it." Joel replied in shock. "Damn it. Turn here. Turn here." He instructs as he points to a side road. Tommy turns onto it, only finding it flooded with escaping citizens.

"Come on, people. Move." Tommy said, frustrated, as the people run in front of his car.

"What are they runnin' from?" Sarah asked me. I shrugged and shook my head as Joel says to Tommy. "Get us outta here."

"I'm tryin'." Tommy said as he starts to drive ahead but stops when he almost ran over a guy. "We can't stop here, Tommy." Joel said. "I can't fuckin' drive through 'em, Joel!" Tommy yells at him, frustrated. "Then back up then!" screamed Joel. "They're behind me too!" Tommy yells just as I saw a clearing up ahead.

I point at it and said. "There! There!" 

"Hold on!" Tommy said and he gets around the obstructing motor-home. "Look out!" Sarah screams and I look to my left just in time to see us get t-boned by a high-speed vehicle.

****

I open my eyes, my vision unfocused then I see that the vehicle was on its side. I look around just in time to see Sarah coming to then I look up in front of me to see Joel was still in his seat. I reach over and shook his shoulder. "Joel? Honey?" I said and I hear him groan as he shakes his head. "What?" He groans then he sees the predicament we were in. "Get back, baby. Get back. Look. I'm okay..." He said as he turns to look at me.

I nod and he faces the windshield, raised his left leg and kicks at the windshield until it breaks. He crawls through and gets out. I start to crawl out when I heard a struggle then I see a body fall on the ground and Tomny's foot steps on his head. "Joel?!" I yelled, fearfully. "I'm here, baby. I'm here." Joel assured me as he kneels down. "Come on, gimme your hand." He said as he holds his hand out to me. I take it and climb out of the car then turn around and reach out for Sarah.

"Come on, sweetie." I said as he and I pull her out and she starts to stumble as she stands up. "What is it?" Joel asked her. "My leg hurts." Sarah replied. "How bad?" I asked her. "Pretty bad." She said and Joel and exchange worried looks.

"We're gonna need to run." Tommy told us. Joel looks over at Sarah then to Tommy before he hands him his gun. "You keep us safe." He said and Tommy nods as he takes the gun. "Come on, baby girl." He said to Sarah as he picks her up and carries her.

"Now hold on tight." He told her and wraps her arm around his neck. "Okay. Daddy, I'm scared." She said, fearfully, as we began to run down the street. People all around us were either running or screaming or getting attacked by these infected people. 

"Guys---watch out!" Tommy screamed just as we come up to a gas station, which explodes once a car runs through one of the gas pumps. "Oh my God!" Sarah squeals. "Holy shit!" I yelled as we run off to the side. "Keep running!" Tommy yells at us as he runs ahead of us.

"Those people are on fire." Sarah noted and I look over my shoulder to see that she was right. "Don't look, Sarah." I said to her. "Okay." She said and buries her face into Joel's shoulder. "Just keep looking at me, baby." Joel told her and she looks up at him.

It seemed no matter where we went, something was always blocking our way or vehicles were crashing into buildings. "Get back! There's too many of 'em." Tommy yells at us then he looks to his left. "This way! Through the alley! Go!" He exclaims and he goes and opens the fence door.

We run through it when an infected person comes up and grabs Joel. Sarah screams as I pull the person off of them and shove him away while Tommy shoots it in the head. "Shit." Joel exclaimed as Tommy looks over the person he just shot. "Dammit." Joel grumbles then he looks down at Sarah again. "We're almost there. We're almost there, baby." He assured as we continue to run through the alley.

"They're gettin' through the fence!" Tommy yelled and he looks behind him. "Keep going! Find a way outta here!" I yelled at him and he runs ahead of us and leads us to the back end of a bar.

Joel, Tommy and I run inside and Tommy shuts the door and leans against it. "Get to the highway!" He yells at us. "What?" I asked, confused. "Go -- you guys got Sarah! I can outrun 'em!" Tommy yells.

"Uncle Tommy!" Sarah screams as Joel and I exchange a look.

"We will meet you there." Joel said to him. 

"Hurry!" Tommy yells as we run out the front door. "Daddy, we can't leave him." Sarah exclaims as we run out onto the dirt road. "He's gonna be fine. We're almost there." Joel assured her as we run towards the highway bridge, which was up ahead.

"They're gettin' closer!" I screamed after I look behind me to see a couple of infected people chasing us. As I turn to look ahead, a bright light shines in our faces and gunshots sounded out. We stopped running, the two infected people behind us falls, then look up to see that it was a soldier.

"It's okay, baby. We're safe. We're safe." Joel assures Sarah then he looks up at the soldier. "Hey! We need help." He tells the man as we take a few steps forward. "Stop!" The soldier orders. "Please. It's our daughter. My husband and I think her leg's broken." I said to him as I come up to Joel's right side.

"Stop right there!" The soldier yells as he aims his gun at us and we stop walking. "Okay...we're not sick." Joel informed the soldier. The soldier lowers his gun, picks up a radio and begins to speak through it. "Got three civilians in the outer perimeter. Please advise."

"Mom...Dad...what about Uncle Tommy?" Sarah asked us. "We're gonna get you to safety and go back for him. Okay?" Joel said and I push back her hair from her face. "Don't worry, sweetie. We'll find him." I assured her as the soldier speaks through his radio. "Sir, there's a little girl. But..." he stops then let's out a heavy sigh. "Yes, sir."

"Listen, buddy, we've just been through hell. Okay, we just need--" Joel started to say but he and I see that the soldier was raising his gun at us. "Oh shit." Joel mutters and we try to back away and run as the soldier fires and we fall down the hill.

I felt a sting on my shoulder and felt something warm run down my arm as I stop and land on my back. I look to my right to see Joel had landed next to me just as the soldier follows us and stands over Joel. He aims his gun and light at Joel, who raises his hand to the soldier. "Please, don't." He begs when a gunshot sounds out and the soldier falls over dead.

I gasp just as I look over to see Tommy was the one who shot the soldier. I sit up and place my hand over my shoulder, feeling a long scratch on top of my shoulder, then pulled back my hand to see it covered in blood. "Baby, you okay?" Joel asked me. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a graze on the shoulder. Where's Sarah?" I asked then we heard a cry of pain. 

We turn around to see Sarah was a few feet away from us and squirming in pain. "Oh no." Tommy and I whispered as Joel and I scramble towards her. "Sarah! Okay. Move your hands, baby." Joel said as he moves her arms to see that she was shot in the stomach. "Oh my God!" I gasped as Sarah cries out in pain

"I know, baby. I know..." Joel said as I go and place my hands over her wound. "Listen to me, I know this hurts, sweetheart. You're gonna be okay, sweetie." I try to assure her. "Stay with us. Alright, I'm gonna pick you up." Joel said but she screeches out in pain as he tries to pick her up. "I know, baby. I know it hurts. Come on, baby, please. I know, baby. I know." Joel said in a panic as we try to stop the bleeding.

Joel looks over at Tommy and was about to say something when suddenly Sarah stopped crying. I look down at her and noticed that she wasn't even breathing. I gasped as Joel looks back down at Sarah and saw that she wasn't moving or breathing either. 

"Sarah...sweetie..." I said as I go and try to feel for a pulse, but I don't feel one. I place my hands over my mouth as I felt tears down run down my face. "Don't do this to me, baby. Don't do this to me, baby girl." Joel begs her but she doesn't move or say anything. "Come on...No, no...Oh no, no, no...Please." he begins to break down crying then hugs Sarah's body as I close my eyes and bury my face in my hands. "Oh, God. Please, please, don't do this. Please, God..." I hear him cry, softly, while I prayed silently. 

God, please, not her. Take me instead! Please! I'm begging you!

[shopgirlanonymous]

It was announced yesterday that the Ringling Brothers Circus is to close that final curtain before the start of summer.   The cause they say are many things; show attendance and the trouble caused by PETA to name two.

Thank You PETA: slowly destroying my childhood one magical memory at a time.

When we moved to Alabama, I did notice an incredibly low show attendance, and I always worried about how our low attendance could discourage the circus from visiting our town, I didn’t even fathom we were facing the end for the circus altogether.

Is it Lack of Interest or Lack of Funds?

Less than a decade ago chairman & CEO Kenneth Feld handed the circus off to his daughters, just as ticket sales were beginning to plunge.  They blame the plunge in sales with kids’ general lack of interest due to the high excitement of video games and the movies.   Though, as we’ve discussed on Shopgirl before, declining ticket sales coincide with the the many reasons retailers are now finding themselves shuttering across the nation, tighter pockets.   The circus for a family is expensive at forty dollars a seat, twelve dollars for popcorn, and twelve dollars for one cup of lemonade.  This makes for a several hundred dollar afternoon when potential audience members of America were still questioning how they were going to put food on the table next week.

Absence of Elephants or Absence of Variation?

I also have to call out a lack in show quality and variation.   The last Ringling Bros. I attended that wowed me had to be around 2011 when they were touring their steampunk like Side Show themed series, this of course was before I even had kids, just a single adult who found myself to be quite the circus enthusiast!

Attendance has been dropping for 10 years, said Juliette Feld, but when the elephants left, there was a “dramatic drop” in ticket sales.

This I find to be a bold claim since the elephants were just officially dropped this past year, exactly as my hometown received a rerun performance at equal cost.   How many families are going to pay to see the same show twice?  How can you place blame on the elephants, when you haven’t even given a new fresh circus a try?  I must agree I was concerned by the absence of elephants this past trip to the circus, but the tigers, pups, and horses kept my kids beyond enthralled.  I actually found myself leaving the circus, knowing that without the crutch of an elephant this would force Ringling Bros. to research new exotic ways to catch our attention.

The Heart of Ringling Bros.

I have been a regular Ringling Bros. attendee since before I can remember.  It was something my father did with me that I treasured as a young girl, and it was a memory I wanted my children to have and cherish as well.   Growing up, my parents were not individuals of means and of the two jobs my father worked one was as an usher at The Summit where the circus came at the time in Houston, now it stands as the encompassment of Joel Osteen’s following.  This employment was his favorite as it gave him free access to Rockets games and to me it worked out because he was able to purchase the tickets on the front row at a discounted rate.  He would patrol the aisles and I would sit and watch in wonder but not before having the one-of-a-kind opportunity to sneak behind the scenes and encounter the animals and clowns first hand.

These nostalgic memories of whimsy makes their mission statement ring true:

“make parents heroes for their kids.”

Each and every year this is exactly what the circus does for our family.   It brings us together, it rewards our children, it fosters their wonder and excitement to explore and learn.   They look up to us, and thank us for gifting them with this experience, no matter the costs.   To see their smile and their delight makes them my hero in return, they remind me what raw wonder is.  My childrens’ smiles pull me from chores, bills, and the fleeting life that surrounds me, and they resuscitate me into a dreamlike wonder I had long forgotten.

But Aren’t the Millennials Seeking Experiences Over Things? 

It’s not just for children.  In my adult years I have introduced many to the wonder and merriment that is Ringling Bros.  At the conclusion of the show, just as the lights come on to lose that enchantment and return you back to the empty arena my accompaniment is left in aw and thanked me for convincing them to take in this experience.   Millennials is the largest generation, and as we age with our own families we crave experiences.   We spend so many hours in front of a computer that we want our investments to be tactile, in person, and immersive.

Not shockingly, more than 8 in 10 millennials (82%) attended or participated in a variety of live experiences in the past year, ranging from parties, concerts, festivals, performing arts and races and themed sports—and more so than other older generations (70%). But millennials can’t get enough. 72% say they would like to increase their spending on experiences rather than physical things in the next year, pointing to a move away from materialism and a growing demand for real-life experiences.       -Eventbrite Research

So please, tell me again, why the Greatest Show on Earth couldn’t manage to attract the very demographic that is eager to drop some serious coin on them? Video games you said?

The Final Bow

Despite the fact that this year we needed their magic more than ever, I was not going to go; mostly because it was the Xtreme tour, one my husband and I had just seen here in Huntsville less than two years before and did not find to be anything special.  It was strange to me that they had yet to change the roster, but I assumed for us it was for the best since money was tight this year.  As I drove around town for an errand, I somehow made the fateful error of a wrong turn, driving directly the circus train, “I want to go to the circus mommy!”

Birthday girl got front and center for the Pre-Show at Ringling Bros.

I sighed, it was Lil A’s birthday week and I had not planned a party considering our move and a rough year in health had made finances tight and life too complicated.   We went online and found a special of four tickets for half off and we indulged.  I contemplated driving Lil A and Baby K to the circus train itself and taking a picture with them in front of it, and then I shrugged it off as I have the past four years and said, “Next year *Insert youngest at the time child’s name here* will be older by then”.  Of course.

We took in all the stops, purchasing each girl a special souvenir, and allowing Lil A to get her face painted.  I looked at Baby K, who watched her sister with envy and smiled as I thought,

‘I can’t wait until she is old enough.‘

Is There Hope For A New Generation?

My favorite part of the show has always been the pre-show; if the entire circus was the cabaret style dance of whimsy I would not be one to complain.    Perhaps there will be a new line of circuses to emerge with the largest player of the game out of the limelight.  Perhaps they could make it intimate and personal?

Whatever the case, at present, I’m in utter mourning, and I’m so incredibly thankful I received the opportunity to share it with my family one last time.

Up Close and Personal with the contortionists at the Pre-show!

Up close and Personal at the Pre-Show

Ringling Brothers face painting

Me and Baby K awaiting the Big Event to Begin

Birthday girl got front and center for the Pre-Show at Ringling Bros.

We thought we are counting down the days until we would no longer lay eyes on the Astrodome, we didn’t realize it was Ringling Bros. we should have held so closely

The Elephants Marching into town for the Ringling Bros Circus

Baby K’s First Circus With Mom an Gigi

Please share your favorite Circus memories!

To Save This Article, Please Pin This Image.

References:

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/retail/for-kenneth-feld-the-141st-edition-of-ringling-bros-and-barnum-amp-bailey/1142162

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/01/15/ringling-bros-circus-plans-to-shut-down-greatest-show-on-earth-after-146-years.html

http://eventbrite-s3.s3.amazonaws.com/marketing/Millennials_Research/Gen_PR_Final.pdf

#RinglingBros why is this the #finalcurtain #family #elephants and #millennials It was announced yesterday that the Ringling Brothers Circus is to close that final curtain before the start of summer.  

[beckypatterson1]

20 Inspiring Vegan Before and After Pictures

These are our 20 most popular and inspiring vegan before and after stories from actually Happy Herbivore community members. Many of these people used our Meal Mentor meal plans to help them lose weight.

Heather M

At 39 years old, Heather found herself an overweight smoker and drinker. She had arthritis in both knees, chronic back pain, an irregular heartbeat that required medication, shortness of breath, and she suffered from severe depression. When she received a 911 call that her husband had been admitted to the hospital with 90% blockage in all four of the lower half of his arteries, she knew that it was time to take her health seriously and make a change, not only for herself but for her family.

When a co-worker purchased Heather some of Lindsay's e-books, she immediately started her research and decided to give it a try -- and the results were INCREDIBLE! In less than a year, Heather lost 125lbs, she was no longer in pain, and was taken off her medication for an irregular heartbeat. But the healthy change had a larger effect than just on Heather’s own life. Read the full story here. 

Bonebreaker

In January 2009, one month after a drug overdose, Bonebreaker was miserable. Experiencing excruciating pain from drug and alcohol withdrawal, he weighed almost 600 pounds! He soon turned his drug and alcohol addiction into a food addiction, spending over three hours at a time at Chinese buffets, often until he was kicked out. Days before checking himself into rehab he decided to make one final effort by attending a wrestling school.

After spending, the next few years trying to put together the right diet to finally get his life back on track, Bonebreaker was introduced to Dr. Carney and her husband Sean. They educated him on a whole foods, plant-based diet that turned his life around in ways he’d never imagined! Read the full story here. 

Beth

Since puberty, Beth dealt with an irregular menstrual cycle, usually around 2 periods a year. When she had a period, it was awful. Her cramps were delitating to the point that she couldn’t move. Sometimes her periods were so heavy she would pass out. Eventually, she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and dealt with the accompanying weight gain, acne, facial hair, and fertility issues.

Beth was determined to limit her symptoms of PCOS without the use of medication. She also wanted to avoid diabetes, something that ran in her family. After just a month on a plant-based diet, her debilitating menstrual cramps went away and she experienced more results that doctors had told her would be impossible without medication. Read the full story here. 

Tara

Tara grew up on a typical southern diet of extensive meat quantities served with fried and starchy sides. Through her high school years, she was able to keep her weight down with gymnastics and an active lifestyle, but she began to struggle with her health after the birth of her daughter. Tara was dealing with constant headaches, depression, chronic constipation, fatigue, ulcers, sinus infections, and severe PMS symptoms as well as high cholesterol, blood pressure, and gastrointestinal problems.

After becoming frustrated with her debilitating health and the ever-growing list of pills, Tara decided to visit a gastroenterologist. To her surprise, it was simply recommended that she switch to a diet of little to no animal products and high in unprocessed fruits and vegetables. She almost instantly lost 25 pounds and decided to find out more about what the plant-based world was all about. Read the full story here. 

Bethany

Like many people, Bethany’s weight-loss journey included a plethora of different types of diets. She’d tried various fad and crash diets. She watched her portions, counted calories, and more.

By the time she was 23 she weighed over 230 pounds, her hair was thinning, her skin was spotty, she had constant headaches, and her mood and energy levels were rapidly declining. Later that same year Bethany’s brother shared a PBS special with her featuring Dr. Joel Fuhrman. She immediately ordered Dr. Fuhrman's plant-based book and never looked back from there! Read the full story here. 

Rebecca A

Rebecca’s struggle with self-image goes all the way back to when she was 10 years old and decided to join Weight Watchers in hopes of losing weight. Her yo-yoing battle with weight continued up through the birth of her son when she had reached 275 pounds. Just moving around had become a painful task. She decided that she needed to make a healthy change and eliminated dairy and land animals from her diet.

As she continued down the road of plant-based living and began seeing results, Rebecca’s stepmother gave her a copy of Lindsay’s “Everyday Happy Herbivore.” She loved it so much that she then purchased “The Happy Herbivore Cookbook” which launched her on a journey that resulted in losing 150 pounds and so much more. Read the full story here. 

Elicia

Elicia was a victim of bullying that continued well into her adulthood. She found herself in the midst of bad relationships and a bad marriage. The difficult circumstance and bullying made her resort to stress eating. Her health spiraled out of control as her weight reached almost 500 pounds. She decided to move herself and her children to her parents' house where she rarely went outside and was only able to walk with crutches.

When her parents tried out a juice cleanse, Elicia figured she it was worth a shot and was amazed. She lost 50 pounds in under 50 days! She and her parents decided to continue their weight-loss journey together by adopting a plant-based diet. Read the full story here. 

Amy B.

Amy was raised on a vegetarian diet and maintained a low weight for most of her life, but at the cost of poor nutritional eating and near starvation. Tragedy struck when she and her husband had 3 miscarriages in the span of a year and a half. Amy fell into a deep depression and turned to fast food and “comfort eating.” Things started to looked up when Amy and her husband decided to seek fertility treatment and within a year were blessed with a baby girl.

The joy of finally having a child was soon accompanied by anxiety about being new parents, and Amy’s eating habits and health began to take a turn for the worse. Just before her 40th birthday, Amy found herself completely sedentary and decided to revisit her vegetarian diet. Despite her best efforts, Amy only continued to gain weight. In a desperate search for a cookbook that would work for her, she stumbled upon “Everyday Happy Herbivore” and transformed her life, losing 100 pounds in the following 10 months! Read the full story here. 

Lindsay’s Dad

Lindsay’s dad recounts a recent trip where he found himself at a loss for words as he attempted to explain just how much better he felt after switching to a plant-based diet. It was easy for people to see the physical signs of the change due to the 20 pounds he’d lost, but the impact on his life went far beyond a physical level. Even at the age of 67, he found that his quality of life was the best it had been in many years. Read the full story here. 

Mary Lou

Mary Lou was suffering from several chronic autoimmune diseases: severe rosacea, psoriatic arthritis, for which she had to take to Enbrel injections, and she also dealt with asthma, brain fog, depression, joint pain and chronic fatigue, among other issues. After reading an article claiming that over 40% of the population suffers from non-celiac gluten intolerance and seeing a list of symptoms that mirrored her own, Mary Lou decided to cut gluten from her diet. 4 weeks on a gluten-free diet and her symptoms were gone!

Mary Lou knew that dairy sensitivity and gluten sensitivity usually went hand-in-hand, so she decided to take the plunge and go plant-based. Despite the difficulty of giving up things like ice cream and cheese, she stuck with it and soon felt better than she had in over 20 years. She recovered from ailments she didn’t realize she had been dealing with, and began a whole new way of life. Read the full story here. 

  Brenda

Brenda began to experience decreased levels of energy, nerve pain, and a progressive foot drop. She visited her doctor for testing and was told she had ALS and didn’t have long to live. Shocked with the news that no one ever wants to hear, Brenda decided to seek a second opinion. Doctor after doctor gave her the same diagnosis and said she was going to die.

Brenda had already made a switch to see the benefits of a plant-based diet a few years prior and decided to stick with it and not give up hope. Read the full story here. 

Adam

Adam was always heavier than most of his friends growing up, but despite his weight, he was able to maintain an active lifestyle playing basketball, mountain biking, and other teenage outdoor activities. Things changed in college with his newfound freedom, leaving him less time for an active lifestyle. By the time Adam turned 28, he weighed 290 pounds and had a 44-inch waist size. That same year his wife gave birth to their son, and Adam felt a newfound motivation to get back in shape to enjoy activities with their son.

Adam tried low-carb diets, prepackaged weight-loss meals, shakes, and daily exercising, but he wasn’t seeing any results. He talked to his wife and decided to go one week with no meat, no cheese, no oil or processed foods. Before long that one week turned into two years and Adam lost an AMAZING 135 pounds! His success also encouraged his wife to adopt a plant-based diet. Read the full story here.

Lisa P

Inspired by an Oprah one week vegan challenge, Lisa decided to challenge herself to going two weeks vegan. So impressed by the results, Lisa stuck with the diet and went from size 16 to size 4 in the first year of plant-based living! She recounts that the weight just started falling off. Even after being addicted to fat and sugar for all of her life, she found that when she totally eliminated processed foods, sugar, and oils, she no longer craved them. Lisa found that the incredible weight-loss was only the beginning of her transformation after going plant-based. Read the full story here. 

Kathy

For nine long years, Kathy and her husband battled devastating infertility. After many invasive tests, seeing doctors in both Canada and the United States, they were blessed by the birth of their miracle twins. Kathy had already been plant-based for over ten years, but had succumbed to anxiety during her pregnancy that her babies would not be getting the best nutrition. She was quickly overwhelmed by the amount of literature surrounding pregnancy nutrition and sickened by the thought of reverting to an omni diet. She decided to stick with her plant-based diet, knowing it would be the best option for both her and the twins. Read the full story here. 

Courtney B.

After a bout in the hospital, Courtney lost her house and overall footing in life. She was homeless and lost. With no sense of direction, she knew one thing was certain: she was going to maintain her plant-based diet. After being previously abused by people who said they loved her, Courtney recounts that her pets were the ones that had been there for her. She promised them she would no longer eat animal meat. With those strong morals about being vegan, she swore to stick to a plant-based diet, even during her time of homelessness. It was no easy task, but she was able to receive things like carrots, bananas, and juices from the people she stayed with and occasionally pulled peanuts from vending machines.

Courtney tells her emotional story, gives her advice on never giving up, staying true to your beliefs, and how she was able to maintain a plant-based diet against all odds. Read the full story here.

Denise

Tracy tells the story of her 43-year-old mother, Denise, who was put into a nursing home due to complications from multiple sclerosis. After attempting to transition Tracy to a vegetarian, her health continued to decline to a point that she was having up to 20 seizures a day and needed constant monitoring. Tracy decided to move Denise back home to take care of her and began preparing pureed foods using fresh fruit, vegetables, and whole grains.

Within the first year of being plant-based, Tracy saw a miraculous improvement in her mother’s health. The extra weight was coming off, oxygen dependence was eliminated, her BiPAP went away, and her list of daily medications was shrinking! Read the full story here.

Kristie

Kristie was nearly 300 pounds when her mother died of colon cancer. Her mother’s passing left her devastated, depressed, and grappling with the fact that she could be headed down the same path if she didn’t make a change. One day while she was laying down crying, she heard a voice say, "If you don't want to be fat, do something about that!"

That same day she googled plant-based diets and decided to give it a try. The first 30 days were the hardest, but was she able to stay on the wagon. To her amazement, after just a month she’d already lost 16.5 pounds and found that she had actually begun to enjoy the plant-based recipes she was making. With her dedication, the results kept coming! Read the full story here. 

Rebecca

Rebecca’s story started in college where her freshman 15 had turned into 50 by the time she had graduated. Years had passed and the weight still wasn’t coming off. She had started to experience mood swings and depression, so she quickly visited her doctor who prescribed her antidepressants and sent her on her way. The medication offered her little relief, and even after adopting a vegetarian diet the weight just wasn’t coming off.

Rebecca continued pressing on and came across the Happy Herbivore website. She was instantly in awe of Lindsay’s perseverance and came to the realization that she was putting too much focus on material happiness. She began a process of decluttering, letting go of material baggage, and focusing on the journey, not just the destination. Read the full story here.

Sarah

Growing up, Sarah watched her father struggle with obesity. No matter what he tried, he wasn't able to maintain any weight loss. At age 24 she was pulled aside at work for the shocking news that her father had suffered a massive heart attack and had passed. Sarah’s world was rocked by her father’s death. It gave her a wake-up call: if she continued to follow the path he had been on, she was already halfway through her life.

It took 2 years, but Sarah finally made a change. A fellow nurse practitioner at the hospital where she worked recommended she try a plant-based diet. "For someone with your family history, it's the best thing you could do for yourself." The idea finally clicked. Months later, Sarah had already shed 116 pounds and was feeling better than she’d felt in years! Read the full story here. 

from Recipes Blog https://happyherbivore.com/2018/06/vegan-before-and-after-pictures/