#(wait can you tag this as like coding or python or?)
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btw sorry for inactivity, I got busy n stuff.
As compensation, have a (footage of a) python project I did for fun (game 24, where you get a set of numbers and you gotta use math to make it 24)
#caluutalks#idk I just have stuff goin on. Nothing bad but it kept me a bit busy i guess.#also yes I did type ''I miss wriolette+sige family and susahao'' and yes I still miss them.#They're like brainworms in my mind even if I'm not as attached to genshin anymore lol (not counting susahao bc they're not in genshin)#WHO KNOWS tho I may doodle or draw susahao when I get the chance.#speaking of. would you guys mind if I start posting OC stuff too bc I'm cooking it hard enough that I'm getting brainworms for them too.#nothing ready to be posted BUTTT when I finish writing and designing them I'll consider posting them teehee#oh yeah another tangent! I think I'm getting a badminton hyperfixation. not like watching people play it but playing it.#Genuinely like (one of) the only motivation for me to drag my ass to school. just to play it at lunch with friend(s). It's so fun.#I like hitting things and I like being good at a thing#ANYWAY I've been rambling so I'll be back to class now. cya later my dear fellows!!!! toodle-loo!!#(wait can you tag this as like coding or python or?)
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Some things I will add regarding the Tumblr Utils method:
If you have other python software installed, you might need to remove them lest your computer have an issue with which version of Python to run the script on, I had to remove a C++ emulator which was clashing with the python for some reason, though admittedly that program never actually worked for me.
Use the command window rather than trying to download and run the code yourself, the link in the document points to a version of the code that was incompatible with the current Python version I was using and I wasted close to two hours trying to force it to run before giving up.
The API key request appears to be automatic, so you don't have to wait for one of the few remaining staff members to personally authorize you.
This is the current line of code that works to backup your account:
tumblr-backup --save-audio --save-video --tag-index --incremental blog-name
Replace "blog-name" with your blog name.
save-audio and save-video are self explanatory, however I did encounter some issues with posts where videos couldn't be saved. The program will give you a post number pointing to which post couldn't be saved, so if you wish you can go and save those videos/audios through a different method. tag-index creates an index of every tag you've ever used, which is helpful but also note that it means every tag. incremental is perhaps the most useful one, as it allows you to keep updating the backup. The document uses --i, which according to the script I ran is no longer used.
Good wifi is absolutely recommended as this thing ate up most of my bandwidth and took nearly 3 days for about 91000 posts. Another important command, especially if you have wifi troubles, is
tumblr-backup --save-audio --save-video --tag-index --continue blog-name
If ever your command is interrupted, this allows the program to continue from where the last increment stopped. I made a notepad file containing these two lines and just copied + pasted them any time the program crashed.
You can use your computer while this runs, I set mine up with a power connection and disabled the auto shutdown feature. I do recommend doing this, it's not difficult as long as you don't have the world's most unique computer problems like I did.
Btw much as I love to make fun of twitter and reddit's business decisions, I have 0% trust in tumblr's management to not go a similar route so this is your gentle reminder that you should regularly go to your blog settings to export your blog. That's a fancy way of saying you can download a backup of your blog so if everything goes down you'll still have a backup of your posts & convos.
#tumblr#tumblr backup#it appears to save it all as html so it could in theory be exported to a new blog altogether#my favourite error was 'python does not have python installed'#that turned out to be an issue with the path
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Me: "this error type shit is easy" Me remembering I need to pattern match on stuff:
youtube
Realistically all this actually means is that:
The pattern matching needs to be good at destructuring and/or "where" clauses (which it already needed to), and
That does lead in a direction of clear difference between tags and fmt strings, and having error constructors just be functions, which I'm cool with.
So let's look how this would actually work in some sample code. This is still pseudocode, because the syntax is under development and I'm trying to nail semantics first.
No, I don't have syntax highlighting implemented, it's just that this sample happens to be close enough to Python to coincidentally be almost correctly colored.
Basically, rather than errors being an interface that can be implemented by arbitrary types, they're actually a struct type with convenience functions to construct them. Note that tags are kinda like Erlang's "Atoms". While I'm still figuring out the lifetime and structure size stuff about the Error struct long term, it's very intentional in the design to entrench that Errors will always reliably have a format string and arguments. Errors are data, and the arguments may be useful to inspect - but we also want to avoid eagerly interpolating errors for performance reasons.
Given that different types (semantic) of error are not different Types (in the type system) of Error, we do need to worry about use cases where you want to handle specific semantic types differently. For example, in an HTTP client, you'd probably want to handle a timeout differently than a DNS failure, etc. In the worst case, basic pattern matching on .tag will always work!
The question is whether to design matching tools that could fit concisely in, say, the arguments list of a function definition (multiple dispatch and match statements work the same way). I think the correct answer is to wait, and keep things as initially simple as possible.
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Learning Selenium: A Comprehensive and Quick Journey for Beginners and Enthusiasts
Selenium is a powerful yet beginner-friendly tool that allows you to automate web browsers for testing, data scraping, or streamlining repetitive tasks. If you want to advance your career at the Selenium Course in Pune, you need to take a systematic approach and join up for a course that best suits your interests and will greatly expand your learning path. This blog will guide you through a structured, easy-to-follow journey, perfect for beginners and enthusiasts alike.

What Makes Selenium So Popular?
For those looking to excel in Selenium, Selenium Online Course is highly suggested. Look for classes that align with your preferred programming language and learning approach. Selenium is one of the most widely used tools for web automation, and for good reasons:
Open-Source and Free: No licensing costs.
Multi-Language Support: Works with Python, Java, C#, and more.
Browser Compatibility: Supports all major browsers like Chrome, Firefox, and Edge.
Extensive Community: A wealth of resources and forums to help you learn and troubleshoot.
Whether you're a software tester or someone eager to automate browser tasks, Selenium is versatile and accessible.
How Long Does It Take to Learn Selenium?
The time it takes to learn Selenium depends on your starting point:
1. If You’re a Beginner Without Coding Experience
Time Needed: 3–6 weeks
Why? You’ll need to build foundational knowledge in programming (e.g., Python) and basic web development concepts like HTML and CSS.
2. If You Have Basic Coding Skills
Time Needed: 1–2 weeks
Why? You can skip the programming fundamentals and dive straight into Selenium scripting.
3. For Advanced Skills
Time Needed: 6–8 weeks
Why? Mastering advanced topics like handling dynamic content, integrating Selenium with frameworks, or running parallel tests takes more time and practice.
Your Quick and Comprehensive Learning Plan
Here’s a structured roadmap to learning Selenium efficiently:
Step 1: Learn the Basics of a Programming Language
Recommendation: Start with Python because it’s beginner-friendly and well-supported in Selenium.
Key Concepts to Learn:
Variables, loops, and functions.
Handling libraries and modules.
Step 2: Understand Web Development Basics
Familiarize yourself with:
HTML tags and attributes.
CSS selectors and XPath for locating web elements.
Step 3: Install Selenium and Set Up Your Environment
Install Python and the Selenium library.
Download the WebDriver for your preferred browser (e.g., ChromeDriver).
Write and run a basic script to open a browser and navigate to a webpage.
Step 4: Master Web Element Interaction
Learn to identify and interact with web elements using locators like:
ID
Name
CSS Selector
XPath
Practice clicking buttons, filling out forms, and handling dropdown menus.
Step 5: Dive Into Advanced Features
Handle pop-ups, alerts, and multiple browser tabs.
Work with dynamic content and implicit/explicit waits.
Automate repetitive tasks like form submissions or web scraping.
Step 6: Explore Frameworks and Testing Integration
Learn how to use testing frameworks like TestNG (Java) or Pytest (Python) to structure and scale your tests.
Understand how to generate reports and run parallel tests.
Step 7: Build Real-World Projects
Create test scripts for websites you use daily.
Automate login processes, data entry tasks, or form submissions.
Experiment with end-to-end test cases to mimic user actions.
Tips for a Smooth Learning Journey
Start Small: Focus on simple tasks before diving into advanced topics.
Use Resources Wisely: Leverage free tutorials, forums, and YouTube videos. Platforms like Udemy and Coursera offer structured courses.
Practice Consistently: Regular hands-on practice is key to mastering Selenium.
Join the Community: Participate in forums like Stack Overflow or Reddit for help and inspiration.
Experiment with Real Websites: Automate tasks on real websites to gain practical experience.
What Can You Achieve with Selenium?
By the end of your Selenium learning journey, you’ll be able to:
Write and execute browser automation scripts.
Test web applications efficiently with minimal manual effort.
Integrate Selenium with testing tools to build comprehensive test suites.
Automate repetitive browser tasks to save time and effort.

Learning Selenium is not just achievable—it’s exciting and rewarding. Whether you’re a beginner or an enthusiast, this structured approach will help you grasp the basics quickly and progress to more advanced levels. In a matter of weeks, you’ll be automating browser tasks, testing websites, and building projects that showcase your newfound skills.
So, why wait? Start your Selenium journey today and open the door to endless possibilities in web automation and testing!
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Selenium: Key Points to Learn
Selenium is a powerful tool for automating web applications for testing purposes, but it can also be used for web scraping and automating repetitive web-based tasks. For those keen to excel in Selenium, enrolling in a Selenium course in Pune can be highly advantageous. Such a program provides a unique opportunity to acquire comprehensive knowledge and practical skills crucial for mastering Selenium. To effectively learn and use Selenium, here are the key points to focus on:
1. Understanding Selenium and Its Components
Selenium WebDriver: The core component that drives the browser.
Selenium IDE: A browser extension for record-and-playback of interactions.
Selenium Grid: A tool to run tests on different machines and browsers in parallel.
2. Setting Up the Environment
Install WebDriver: Download the WebDriver for the browser you intend to automate (e.g., ChromeDriver for Google Chrome).
Configure IDE: If using an Integrated Development Environment (IDE) like Eclipse, IntelliJ, or VSCode, ensure it's set up with necessary plugins.
3. Programming Languages
Language Support: Selenium supports multiple programming languages including Java, Python, C#, Ruby, and JavaScript.
Learning Basics: Have a good grasp of the basics of the programming language you'll use with Selenium.
4. Basic Selenium Commands
Navigation: Learn how to navigate to URLs and interact with browser history.
Locators: Master different locators (ID, Name, Class Name, Tag Name, CSS Selector, XPath) to find elements on a web page.
Actions: Perform actions like click, sendKeys (for typing), and others like drag and drop.
5. Advanced Interactions
Waits: Implement implicit and explicit waits to handle dynamic web content.
Frames and Windows: Handle frames, windows, and alerts effectively.
Keyboard and Mouse Events: Use Actions class for complex user interactions like double-click, right-click, and hover.
6. Page Object Model (POM)
Design Pattern: Use POM to create an object repository for web elements, enhancing test maintenance and reducing code duplication.
Implementation: Structure your project to include page classes and test classes.
7. Test Framework Integration
JUnit/TestNG: Integrate Selenium with testing frameworks like JUnit or TestNG for better test structure, reporting, and annotations.
Assertions: Use assertions to validate test outcomes.
8. Handling Web Elements
Dynamic Elements: Learn strategies to interact with elements that change dynamically.
Dropdowns, Checkboxes, and Radio Buttons: Work with common form elements effectively.
9. Error Handling and Debugging
Exception Handling: Implement try-catch blocks to handle exceptions.
Logs and Reports: Utilize logging frameworks and create detailed test reports. Enrolling in a top-rated Selenium course online can unleash the full power of Selenium, offering individuals a deeper understanding of its intricacies.
10. Selenium Grid
Parallel Execution: Set up Selenium Grid to run tests across multiple environments simultaneously.
Configuration: Understand hub and node configuration and how to set up and tear down the Grid.
11. Best Practices
Clean Code: Write readable, maintainable, and reusable code.
Modular Approach: Break tests into smaller, manageable units.
Continuous Integration: Integrate Selenium tests with CI/CD pipelines using tools like Jenkins.
12. Community and Resources
Documentation: Regularly consult the official Selenium documentation.
Community Forums: Engage with the Selenium community through forums, Stack Overflow, and GitHub.
Tutorials and Courses: Leverage online tutorials, courses, and webinars for continuous learning.
Conclusion
Learning Selenium is a journey that involves understanding its core components, setting up the environment, mastering basic and advanced commands, implementing design patterns like POM, integrating with test frameworks, and following best practices. By focusing on these key areas, you can become proficient in automating web testing and other web-related tasks using Selenium. Happy testing!
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Top interview questions asked in a Selenium interview
Top Interview Questions Asked in a Selenium Interview
Introduction
Selenium is an essential tool for automated testing of web applications, and as such, it plays a critical role in ensuring the quality and reliability of software products. If you're aiming to pursue a career in automation testing or if you're a seasoned professional looking for new opportunities, you'll likely encounter Selenium-related questions during your interviews. In this article, we'll explore some of the top interview questions asked in a Selenium interview and provide you with insights on how to answer them effectively.
What is Selenium, and why is it used for automation testing?
Selenium is an open-source framework for automating web applications. It allows testers to perform actions on a web page, such as clicking buttons, filling forms, and validating results, without manual intervention. Selenium is widely used in automation testing because it supports multiple programming languages (Java, Python, C#, etc.), multiple browsers (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, etc.), and offers excellent compatibility with various operating systems.
Answer: Selenium simplifies the automation of repetitive test cases, reduces human errors, saves time and resources, and ensures consistent testing across different environments and browsers.
Explain the difference between Selenium WebDriver and Selenium IDE.
Selenium WebDriver is a programming interface that allows you to write code to interact with web elements and perform actions on a web page. It provides more flexibility and control over test automation compared to Selenium IDE.
Selenium IDE, on the other hand, is a record-and-playback tool for creating simple automation scripts. It's a browser extension that records user interactions with a web page and generates test scripts automatically.
Answer: WebDriver is the preferred choice for serious automation testing projects due to its versatility, while Selenium IDE is suitable for quick prototyping and simpler tasks.
How do you identify web elements in Selenium?
In Selenium, web elements such as buttons, text fields, and links are identified using locators. The most common locators are:
ID
Name
Class Name
Tag Name
Link Text
Partial Link Text
XPath
CSS Selector
Answer: Depending on the specific use case and the element's attributes, you can choose an appropriate locator strategy to locate and interact with web elements.
What is the difference between implicit wait and explicit wait in Selenium?
Implicit wait is a global wait applied to all web elements in a Selenium script. It instructs the WebDriver to wait for a specified amount of time before throwing an exception if an element is not found. Implicit waits are defined once and affect the entire script.
Explicit wait, on the other hand, is applied to a specific web element or a condition. It allows the script to wait for a certain condition to be met before proceeding. You can set explicit waits for individual elements with different timeout values.
Answer: Implicit waits are generally discouraged in favor of explicit waits because they can lead to longer test execution times and less precise control over waiting conditions.
What is the Page Object Model (POM) in Selenium?
The Page Object Model is a design pattern used in Selenium to create a structured and maintainable automation framework. It involves creating a separate class for each web page or component of a web application. These classes encapsulate the web elements and actions related to that page, making the code more organized and reusable.
Answer: The Page Object Model enhances test maintenance, reduces code duplication, and improves the overall readability of Selenium test scripts.
How do you handle dynamic web elements in Selenium?
Dynamic web elements are those whose attributes, such as IDs or names, change dynamically with each page load or interaction. To handle such elements in Selenium, you can use techniques like:
Using XPath or CSS selectors with partial attribute values.
Finding a stable parent element and navigating to the dynamic element from there.
Using the "contains" function in XPath to match a part of the attribute value.
Answer: Handling dynamic elements requires a good understanding of XPath and CSS selectors and a careful examination of the web page's structure.
Explain the concept of TestNG in Selenium.
TestNG (Test Next Generation) is a testing framework for Java that integrates seamlessly with Selenium. It allows you to organize test cases, execute tests in parallel, generate reports, and manage test dependencies. TestNG provides annotations like @Test, @BeforeTest, @AfterTest, and more to define the test flow and perform actions before and after tests.
Answer: TestNG enhances the test structure and reporting capabilities of Selenium, making it a powerful combination for automation testing.
What are the different types of Selenium WebDriver commands for interacting with web elements?
Selenium WebDriver offers a wide range of commands for interacting with web elements, including:
Clicking elements: click()
Entering text: sendKeys()
Retrieving text: getText()
Checking element presence: isDisplayed(), isEnabled(), isSelected()
Navigating between pages: get(), navigate()
Handling dropdowns: Select class methods
Answer: A strong grasp of these commands is crucial for performing various actions on web elements during test automation.
How do you handle pop-up windows and alerts in Selenium?
Pop-up windows and alerts are common elements in web applications. To handle them in Selenium, you can use methods like:
switchTo().alert() to switch focus to an alert.
accept() to accept an alert.
dismiss() to dismiss an alert.
getWindowHandles() to handle multiple browser windows.
Answer: Handling pop-ups and alerts requires knowledge of the WebDriver's built-in methods for switching focus between different windows and frames.
Explain the importance of test automation frameworks in Selenium.
Test automation frameworks provide a structured approach to organizing and executing automated tests. They help maintain consistency, enhance reusability, and improve test maintenance. Common test automation frameworks in Selenium include Data-Driven, Keyword-Driven, and Behavior-Driven Development (BDD) frameworks like Cucumber.
Answer: Using a well-designed test automation framework can significantly improve the efficiency and effectiveness of your Selenium test suite.
Conclusion
Preparing for a Selenium interview can be challenging, but by understanding these top interview questions and practicing your responses, you'll be better equipped to demonstrate your knowledge and skills. Remember to not only provide correct answers but also showcase your problem-solving abilities and practical experience in Selenium automation testing. With the right preparation, you can increase your chances of landing that coveted Selenium testing job.
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Game Engine Review: Embracing Boundless Creativity with Godot
In the vast universe of game development, finding the perfect game engine to bring your ideas to life can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. However, fear not, aspiring game developers! Today, we're dissecting one of the industry's best-kept secrets, the Godot game engine, and uncovering why it's a force to be reckoned with.
Picture this: a canvas brimming with infinite possibilities, where your imagination is the only limit. Enter Godot, an open-source game engine that has been steadily gaining recognition and popularity among both professional developers and hobbyists. Developed by Juan Linietsky and Ariel Manzur, Godot acts as a bridge between dreams and reality, paving the way for extraordinary gaming experiences.
One of the first things that sets Godot apart is its versatile capabilities across different platforms. Whether you're creating a game for Windows, macOS, Linux, iOS, Android, HTML5, or even consoles like PlayStation and Xbox, Godot has got you covered. Its cross-platform functionality saves developers time and effort, allowing them to focus on the creative aspects of their games.
But don't be fooled by its accessibility; Godot doesn't sacrifice power for convenience. Underneath its user-friendly interface lies a robust engine that boasts an array of impressive features. From 2D and 3D game development to physics simulations and visual effects, Godot is a treasure trove of tools that empower developers to let their imagination run wild.
Let's delve deeper into some of the standout features that make Godot a game-changer. Firstly, its node-based system grants developers immense flexibility. With nodes representing various game elements such as characters, levels, and user interfaces, creators can effortlessly organize and manipulate these components to bring their vision to life. This intuitive approach eliminates hours of unnecessary code, freeing developers to focus on crafting engaging gameplay experiences.
Furthermore, Godot's scripting language, GDScript, strikes a perfect balance between simplicity and power. Drawing inspiration from Python, GDScript provides an easy-to-learn syntax while maintaining performance and efficiency. Its object-oriented nature fosters clean code organization, making collaborations between developers seamless and efficient.
But wait, there's more! Godot also offers support for a multitude of programming languages, including C#, VisualScript, and C++. This flexibility empowers developers with different coding preferences to utilize their skills within the engine. Not only does this expand the potential user base, but it also encourages collaboration and knowledge sharing among developers from all backgrounds.
In addition to its technical prowess, Godot nurtures a vibrant and supportive community. With forums, tutorials, and an extensive documentation library, the engine fosters an environment where developers can learn, grow, and exchange ideas. The active community embraces a culture of collaboration, graciously assisting newcomers and seasoned veterans alike, thereby transforming the learning process into an enjoyable journey.
Last but not least, one of Godot's most remarkable features is its price: absolutely free. Yes, you read that correctly. Unlike many game engines that come with hefty price tags, Godot stands tall as an open-source gem, embodying the spirit of democratization in game development. Its accessibility allows anyone with a dream and dedication to turn their ideas into interactive experiences without breaking the bank.
In conclusion, Godot is a game engine that combines beginner-friendly design with advanced capabilities, offering developers of all levels an opportunity to create impressive games without limitations. Its cross-platform functionality, versatile node-based system, scripting options, and supportive community make Godot a standout choice in the game development world.
So, aspiring game developers, what are you waiting for? Dive into the mesmerizing universe of Godot and let your creativity soar to new heights. With Godot as your trusty companion, you'll have the power to craft captivating games that leave players in awe. As Oscar Wilde once said, "Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will."

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Objections, Your Honor
Two lawyers are across the aisle in open court once more. But today something is off, and no one is happy with the result.
read on ao3
characters: mainly Logan & Janus; background Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Emile
pairings: soulmate Loceit; QPP Analogical; QPP Moceit; romantic soulmate Royality; romantic soulmate Dukexiety; romantic soulmate Remile
content tags: non-traditional soulmate AU; courtroom drama; arophobia and acephobia; shameless self-pandering with legal arguments about the MCU; gushing about QPPs; couples therapy
reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis @mariniacipher @vintage-squid
word count: 10,386
⁂
The day it happened was no normal day for Logan. But not, of course, because of that.
He cared because it was a trial day. Months of motions back and forth, weeks and weeks of preparation, and today was oral arguments. He normally avoided open court, particularly against such an opponent, but nothing could be done.
His case files were impeccably arranged in his padfolio, his grocery list of arguments annotated in precise writing, blue ink dotting the page with emphases and connections, his notepad prepared at his left.
He glanced to his right out of the corner of his eye at his opposing counsel. He didn't want them to see him looking. But he sneered internally at the haphazard stacks of papers spreading across the table and the garish gold ink that looped and curved across sticky notes.
The judge finally came out, and Logan stood, crisply buttoning his tailored jacket as he did so. At the signal, he identified himself clearly. "Logan Finch for the appellant, Your Honor."
And then, from his right: "Janus Alighieri for the appellee, Your Honor."
Logan rolled his eyes internally. Janus was, unfortunately, a very familiar foe at this point. But then, they were two of the most respected lawyers in their state, with opposing specialties and reputations for innovative tactics.
Logan was self-aware. He had another reputation, too: as a black-and-white thinker, unshakable, unalterable. He preferred to think of it as a particularly strong conviction. Versus "The Snake" against him, who coiled and twisted the facts of his cases to benefit his clients.
And of course, that was the issue today - Logan strove to show that his client had a straightforward, airtight argument that should clearly prevail, while Janus found miniscule details that he said should be enough to distinguish the case at hand and make it different from previous decisions, enough so to allow the case to be decided in his favor. He'd charmed the jury at trial, and now argued against Logan's appeal.
Logan prided himself on keeping a cool head, but listening to Janus' speech just got under his skin. His neat handwriting started to get messier and messier as he furiously scribbled notes of counterarguments and responses to his opponent's points. Then Janus turned slightly, just enough to see frustration's color burn in Logan's cheek, and he smirked.
Logan barely heard the gasp from the observers behind the bar, because he'd just snapped his pen in his grip.
He looked straight ahead, somewhere slightly to the left of the judge's head, but he saw very little, his furious thoughts too loud to allow any else to be processed. But the audience was murmuring and talking, far louder than any judge usually allowed - what was going on?
A clerk from behind him hurried up to the judge's dais and whispered urgently in her ear. Logan had yet to look around, but he was slowly coming back to himself, enough to be confused at this disruption in normal procedure. He refused to look over at Janus' probably-still-smirking face.
The judge cleared her throat. "Counselors, we will recess for the day. Please join me in my chambers now."
Logan frowned, but cleaned up the broken pen and gathered his file neatly back into his leather briefcase. He didn't look over, but he heard the flurry and crinkling of papers as Janus threw his notes into his own bag. Without glancing over, Logan followed the judge to the small office at the back of the courtroom.
"Mr. Finch, Mr. Alighieri. I do hope there's a good explanation for this breach in propriety, not to mention the code of conduct," she said sternly as they both stood before her heavy desk.
"Breach, Your Honor?" Janus asked. He sounded just as confused as Logan felt.
"As barred attorneys, you are expected to know the code as well as I," Judge Kasel said severely. "No soulmates may be involved in a trial together, except as co-counsel."
Logan's ears roared. "Your Honor, I apologize, I must have misheard. Soulmates? How is that relevant-"
"Mr. Finch, don't play dumb with me - the entire courtroom saw!"
"Saw what?" Janus asked. His voice was oddly distant and strained from its normal silky tones.
Judge Kasel stared at them in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you both managed to not see that? I'm quite certain the entire county saw the glow just now, through even the back of your suits!"
"Glow?" Logan asked. His chest was suddenly very, very empty, a vacuum of air or substance, and had he not been sitting he was sure he would have fainted.
"Yes, glow, both your marks on your shoulders. Given your mutual surprise, I will assume that this was indeed unknown, and will not declare this case a retroactive mistrial. But you will both need to send in replacements from your firms."
Janus spoke up, his voice tinny. "Replacements, Your Honor? I should think even in light of this- development, only one of us would need to withdraw-"
"Mr. Alighieri, while I appreciate your dedication, I will not delay this trial for the entirety of your bonding. I will give you both 3 days to propose counsel to take over, and scheduling will proceed with them."
Oh fuck. Bonding, Logan thought, unable to speak. That absolutely ridiculous expectation.
The clerk poked her head in. "If they need to speak privately, this side office is empty."
"Yes," Logan responded robotically. "Yes, I believe we need to speak."
They filed into the small room. The clerk closed the door behind her, whispering "Congratulations!" as she disappeared.
Janus sat in one of the chairs heavily. Logan remained standing, staring blankly at the bookshelves built into the wall.
"I can't believe this," Janus said finally. "We've known each other for years, how could we possibly be...?"
"Soulmarks frequently emit a barely visible glow from proximity alone, particularly when located on skin that is generally covered. Heightened emotion or situations with high levels of stress lead to brighter glows that were invisible or unnoticed previously," Logan recited dully.
"Oh yes, how could I forget, I'm talking to Encyclopedia Brown," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Of course you've memorized that too." He unbuttoned his suit vest dexterously despite his trademark yellow gloves, slumping forward in his chair as he threw his vest over the arm carelessly.
"At least one of us actually has a factual basis for this event, rather than us both being in the dark," Logan snapped back.
"Yeah, your vast knowledge of facts really helped! Did your misguided quest to know everything somehow miss the detail of who's your fucking soulmate?" Janus said, nearly whisper-screaming.
Logan whirled to face him, a fiery reply already on his lips, when he suddenly saw a blue light showing through Janus' white shirt, bright enough to glint off the polished chair back and off the glass of the picture frames on the wall.
He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. "Yes. That was a detail I had not learned. It felt trivial, unable to affect my work. But now that it has, we're better off resolving this."
Janus deflated too. "Yeah. We should. If we can just get through this part, at least we'll stop glowing like horny teenagers."
Logan focused on a tiny flag displayed on the desk as he spoke, not looking over. "I know of a very respectable landlord who rents bonding apartments in the city. Nothing overdone or kitschy, no 'honeymoon' suites, just furnished apartments for indefinite stays."
"Fine. Not like we can't afford it, whatever the price."
"I have some arrangements to make at home-" Logan began
"As do I, unless-"
"Unless what?"
Janus took a breath. "How would you feel about living with a snake?"
"I rather thought that was the entire idea," Logan replied coolly.
Janus shot him a withering glare. "I mean a python, you absolute cotton-headed ninnymuggin."
"Ah, my mistake," Logan said calmly. "That should be fine. A pet, I assume? Or your chosen co-counsel?"
"Let's get one thing straight, Finch," Janus said, rising to his full height, looking down at his infuriating opponent. "I don't like you. I don't expect or particularly want you to like me. We are going to be residing together up until, and only until, our illogical marks have decided in their weird cosmic energy to stop lighting up like neon signs whenever we experience strong emotion in each other's company. I fully expect to be pissed off the entire time, which will make figuring that out easier. But you do not get to speak to me that way, or I'll-"
Logan looked up to meet Janus' eyes. "Or you'll what, Alighieri?"
"I'll report you to the bar for breaking the code, and convince them you already knew," Janus replied smoothly. "And you of all people should know- I am very persuasive."
Logan's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine. And yes, you may bring your python. I'll be leaving my cat at home, however."
"Fine with me," Janus said curtly, deflating back into his normal slouch.
"I will send you the details of the landlord I mentioned. I can make the arrangements within the hour."
"Sure. Wait-"
"What?"
"How are you going to send me the details?"
Logan paused. Their only real contact over the years had been in person or by professional communications. He could hardly use a process server or subpoena to give Janus his key. "Ah. Right. Your contact information, then?" He pulled out his notepad.
Janus pulled out his gold pen and scribbled his phone number at an angle, entirely crossing the college-ruled lines. Logan cringed but took it.
"I will contact you shortly, then. And I will may sure to look for pet-friendly apartments."
Janus nodded. "Right."
"Right."
They both paused.
"Uh. See you soon, then," Janus said, and left the room abruptly.
⁂
Janus had to hand it to him - the apartment was all Logan had promised. Clean, sleek, and spacious. The landlord had even left a spare heat lamp, so Janus' sweet Monty would be comfortable.
Best of all, there were several separate rooms in the suite - two bed, two bath, and two offices.
The kitchen was also well-furnished, and came stocked with staple foods. Logan had arrived, however, with extra bags of groceries.
"I brought my own additions," he said. "The landlord is a friend, but he doesn't buy from the shops I prefer."
He proceeded to pull out several large jars of kimchi, what looked like at least a gallon of soy sauce, and various bright packages that Janus couldn't read.
Janus resolved to take pictures and look up what these things were later. Not while Logan was standing here, glaring up and over as if daring him to comment.
"I've picked the smaller bedroom," Janus informed the shorter man calmly. "Monty is set up in there, so if you're weird about snakes, just avoid it. Actually, feel free to avoid it anyway. I've got a brief to write."
Logan made a noncommittal sound in response.
Hours later, Janus emerged from his office to eat something. His brief was finished, sent off to his senior partner. He hadn’t yet told the firm about the day’s events- only that the appeal would need to be handled by another partner with his associates’ help, he needed to take emergency leave, and he would let them know soon how long he expected to be unavailable. H
e found evidence in the kitchen that Logan had prepared, eaten, and cleaned up dinner for himself. That was fine by him. He made his own food, grabbed a bag of candy, and retreated back to his room.
The next morning, he woke up at his normal late time, stretching in the sun. The kitchen once again showed evidence of Logan's presence- particularly the currently-soaking coffee pot.
When the sun started to descend once more and Janus had yet to see his new roommate, he grumbled. Guess he'd have to be the fucking practical one.
He blew Monty a kiss for good luck and stumped down to the rooms Logan had claimed. He rapped on the door. "Finch. We need to talk."
He waited. There was silence, then a slow drag of a chair. The doors cracked open.
"Yes? What about?"
"No. We need to talk. Or, fuck, I don't know. Be in the same room occasionally."
Logan sighed deeply, and opened the door more. "Fine."
Janus went to the living room and sat on one side of the couch. Logan followed him and settled on the chair facing him.
"So." Janus began.
"So what," Logan replied flatly.
"Sew buttons," Janus replied automatically.
"What?"
"Just something one of my friends says," Janus muttered.
"Ah. So what was it you want to discuss?"
"I don't know!" Janus snapped. "But I'd really like to get back to my life, eventually, and that can only happen if we bond." His lip curled.
Logan sighed heavily. "And how, exactly, do you propose we do that?”
Janus fell silent. He had very few ideas. Pop culture made it very clear that bonding was an extremely romantic event. First kisses. Proposals. Or, in the less sappy movies, it seemed to consist purely of falling into bed together. None of which appealed in the least, particularly not with Logan.
Logan stared expectantly. "Nothing? You just pulled me out with no ideas?"
"If you're the fucking brilliant one, you come up with one then!" Janus spat out the suggestion with a glare, but then he saw it - a soft gold glow shining through Logan's tee, reflected in the tasteful mirror behind him.
They both deflated again, glows reducing down to hidden beneath their clothes.
Logan adjusted his glasses. "I. Ah. Apologize. I realize you are attempting to resolve this issue."
"But you're right. I have no idea how to," Janus admitted.
Logan took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Unfortunately, neither do I. Perhaps just coexisting will be enough."
"How long will that take, though?"
"I haven't the foggiest."
They lapsed into silence.
Finally, Janus suggested, "Maybe we can do our work in the same room. Set up in the dining room with all our stuff. Coexist but in proximity."
Logan glanced over. "That seems relatively painless. Let us make an attempt, then."
⁂
Logan had not had any particular expectations for how well they could share a work space.
And yet, it was still far worse than he'd expected.
Janus talked to himself. As he read, as he wrote, as he researched. Not loud, but a constant stream of soft muttering, disjointed words and full sentences.
It was the most distracting thing Logan had ever been suffered to experience.
"Will you please be quiet," he said tightly, after an hour passed with no signs of letup.
"What do you mean?" Janus asked.
"That infernal whispering, please, could you stop?"
Janus looked at him quizzically.
"You're talking under your breath," Logan said. He felt a headache coming on.
"Oh, am I?" Janus asked. "Sorry. I'll be quiet."
It lasted all of half an hour, and then the muttering started again. "SCOTUS said yes but that was a city sidewalk, 2nd says no but that was Lincoln Center, hm, decoration, use, separation, intent?"
"You're doing it again!"
Janus looked slightly guilty. "It's barely conscious, it's how I process things. Could you just wear headphones?"
"I need silence."
"Noise-canceling, then?"
"Fine. Do you own a pair?"
But the headphones didn't help. The sensation was too odd, of being closed-in, and he kept bumping then as he went to lean against his hand. Finally, Logan stood. "I'm going back to my office. This experiment has failed."
Janus' eyes narrowed. "Well, thanks for deigning to sit in my presence for a full three hours before giving up."
"I'm not giving up, this is just not tenable!" Logan insisted.
"Well, you asked for ideas, and I came up with one. If it's not working for you, you come up with a better one. Come find me when you're done thinking, I know it could take you a while."
He stood and grabbed an apartment key, and stalked out to walk off his frustration.
As he walked, he called his best friend.
"Hey Pat, it's me."
"Jan! Hi buddy, how are you?!"
He sighed heavily. "I want to go home."
"But you only just got there?"
"Yeah, and it's going shi- I mean, badly. Really badly."
"I'm sure you'll work it out," Patton said confidently. "You're a brilliant and wonderful human, and anyone smart enough to argue against you will be able to see that!"
"Thanks, hun," Janus said. "The fact remains that I also don't like him."
Patton hummed tunelessly. "It doesn't have to be instant, Jan. These things usually take time."
"Unlike you and Ro."
"Well, yes, but that's because we were meant to be!" Patton soft, his voice taking on that soft, besotted tone it always did when he talked about his soulmate.
"Isn't the whole point that all soulmates are meant to be?"
"Well, yes..." Patton faltered. "But it doesn't have to look like us, we're just hopeless romantics!"
"I know. How's wedding planning going?"
"We started watching movies for inspiration and got distracted with a Disney marathon," Patton said fondly.
"But you had fun?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good," Janus said, meaning it. There were very few people, in his opinion, who deserved happiness the way Patton did.
He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Pat- what if it was a mistake? What if we just have defective marks or something?"
"I'm sure that's not true!" Patton insisted.
"It just seems like - I mean, we're not even friends. Most people get to start from strangers at worst, but we've been antagonizing each other for years, what if, I don't know. Neither of us had a soulmate and so they glitched out?"
"You just need to find some common ground," Patton said confidently. "You can't both be so passionate about being lawyers without something more in common. I believe in you, buddy!"
Janus sighed. "Thanks, Pat. Say hi to Roman for me, tell him Monty misses him."
"Will do, nephew! Call any time you need, okay?"
"Love you, Pat."
"Love you tooooo!"
Janus realized he'd circled the block and was back at the apartment entrance. He steeled himself, then went back up. He repressed the petty urge to bang open the door to disturb Logan's quiet as much as possible.
Logan wasn't in the common spaces, but emerged not long after Janus returned.
"I feel I must apologize," he began. "It wasn't my intent to denigrate how you work. It is just clear that sharing a workspace is not going to be preferable for either of us."
"Yes, I'm aware I had a bad idea," Janus said, overly patient. "Kind of an odd apology, but I accept. Can I have lunch now?"
"Yes, of course. May I join you?" Logan asked.
Janus raised a distrusting brow.
"The idea of spending time in the same space was a good one. I thought we might try a context in which we don't need to focus."
"Fine."
They prepared food around each other, both managing to bite their tongues when they needed the same counter space or cooking implements, which Janus was proud of himself for. They ate in silence.
Janus heard Logan sigh in exasperation and braced himself for yet another snippy comment. Instead, he heard an unexpected question.
"Do you enjoy superheroes?"
"To eat? No, they upset my stomach," Janus replied drily.
"I mean to watch. Superhero movies and shows."
"Occasionally, yeah, why?"
"Perhaps we could watch one this evening. At the same time."
"Sure."
And they parted to continue working on their own.
⁂
Logan had been correct that, as far as superhero movies went, the MCU was a safe choice.
In retrospect, though, perhaps Civil War had been... less so.
It had started when Steve first objected to the Sokovia Accord plan- and Logan had scoffed.
Quick as a cat’s pounce, or an adder’s strike, Janus’ head whipped around.
“You disagree?”
Logan glanced over briefly, screen light blinking off his glasses. “Well, of course. Didn’t New York and Sokovia show that some control is needed? Lawlessness leads to more civilian casualties.”
“And yet, if supers are controlled so much that risk of liability keeps them from acting at all, casualties would be just a tad higher, don’t you think?”
Tony and Steve’s voices raised on the screen as Logan replied, “What would the difference be of the villains and heroes if they all act with complete impunity?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did we lose mens rea when we switched over into Marvel-land?” Janus asked, voice clipped. “Isn’t the entire basis of our modern penal system based on culpability, not just the act or harm done?”
Logan looked down his nose. “Of course culpability matters. But you well know that one of the factors for absolute liability is when an act is inherently and extremely dangerous. Say, for instance, displays of superhuman force in a densely populated area.”
“So you don’t think there can be any space for personal judgment on the heroes’ behalf?” Janus asked incredulously.
“Look what that space did already! Does the name Ultron ring a bell?”
“So of course, the one who made a terrible call is the one who now wants to be restricted? That sounds like asking for the global government to save him from himself instead of taking responsibility.”
“Better that those with actual accountability be the ones bearing the responsibility!”
“Oh, yeah, and we can definitely trust this government’s judgment! A Hydra infestation was all part of the plan!” Janus’ voice was raising, far louder than the movie that still flickered on, ignored.
“There still needs to be rule of law! Steve wants to abandon it all for one person, and a war criminal at that-!”
“And that’s incomprehensible?”
“Of course!”
Janus fixed his supposed soulmate with a glare. “And you mean to tell me that there’s no one, no one, that you would be willing to burn the world down for?”
Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Janus continued quickly before he could. “No one who won’t fight for themselves, because they think they’re not worth it, but you know they’re so worth it that you would be willing to kill for them?”
Logan, about to spit out an impulsive reply, paused, momentarily speechless. As clearly as if they were sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, his best friend from childhood filled his mind. Virgil, who never believed their worth no matter how many times Logan and their soulmate Remus told them so.
Janus saw the pause and continued softly. “I’m not saying rule of law isn’t important. But the trouble with laws is they’re only as tailored as legislators make them. And they’re human, and therefore fallible. We need exceptions, for those situations that they didn’t imagine.”
Logan struggled for moment, then replied, just as quietly, “You’re right.”
Janus’ mouth fell open in shock, but just as he did, the tv’s faint blue glow throughout the room was washed over with two beacons in blue and gold, blazing from their backs.
At the sight, Logan’s face went from contemplative and open to stony. He stood abruptly and stalked off into his room. The door closed behind him with a decisive click, and Janus was left staring at the wood in confusion and anger.
⁂
“I just don’t get it!” Janus whisper-screamed into the phone. He was power walking through a nearby park, moving so fast he’d passed a skateboarder and a particularly leisurely biker. “Does he want to keep on glowing forever? What is his problem?!”
Patton made sympathetic noises in response, quite familiar with the sound of Janus in full rant mode. Roman was lying with his head in his lap, listening on speaker, so Patton was settled in to be as receptive to his friend’s complaints as he needed.
“I mean, we finally agreed on something, besides the fact that we want to get this fucking resolved, and then he just, what, shuts me out? Literally and figuratively? I literally can’t even catch him leaving to the kitchen for food now!”
Patton winced. “Not since? But it’s been two days!”
“Two and a half, yeah,” Janus replied. His voice suddenly sounded weary. “I can’t keep doing this. The trial’s going on without us anyway, I might as well just give it up and make sure I never have to argue against him again.”
At that, Roman sat bolt upright. “Janus, my dear esquire! You cannot abandon your quest! This is your soulmate!”
“Yeah, well. Maybe some soulmarks are broken. Or we just met at the wrong time. Maybe if we’d met in law school we would have been a team, but now it’s too late.”
Janus sounded contemptuous, but Patton could hear a distinct note of regret.
“Maybe...” he started, but trailed off, thinking.
“Maybe what, Pat?”
“Well, it’s just that I’ve heard of soulmates who, you know, take an abnormally long time to bond, or manage to un-bond after years together, but they can fix it. Do you remember my old roommate?”
Janus wrinkled his nose. “Patton, are you suggesting couple’s therapy? I’m fairly certain that only applies to couples.”
“Well, you’ve kinda been forced to be one, right? At least to figure out bonding? They could probably help, or at least let you know if it’s not worth the effort.”
Janus sighed. “No, you’re right, it’s a good idea. I just have no idea how I’ll get Finch to go along with it.”
“Might I make a suggestion?” Roman asked politely.
“Sure.”
“Perhaps try calling him ‘Logan.’”
Janus rolled his eyes. “Worth a shot, I guess. Love you both.”
“Love you Jan!”
“Best of luck with the love of your soul!”
Back in the apartment, Logan was pacing in precise squares in his bedroom. He half-expected the rug to be worn down by the repeated impact at this point.
“L, I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” the gravely voice on the phone said. “You really have only two options here: find a way to avoid him forever, which will probably involve having to turn down cases you’d like-“
“I bet he’d stay on them just to force me off,” Logan interrupted, growling.
“That is a possibility,” Virgil replied, their voice overly patient. “The other option, though, is to work this out,” they continued.
Logan scoffed.
“Lo, that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta turn into a Hallmark movie! But it’s clear this isn’t just going away, and it’s not like you’ve got nothing in common.”
Logan groaned. “Virge, I don’t-“
“I know, man. I know. But you can’t just hide in your room until he just decides to move out, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him at some point.”
Logan didn’t reply, just continued pacing.
“You know I’m right, Lo,” Virgil said patiently. “You don’t have to say it, just promise me you’re not going to keep being a hermit, okay?”
Logan sighed. “I promise.”
“There we go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
About to hang up, Logan heard a voice in the background and Virgil asked him to wait. Then, “Reme wants to say hi.”
Logan let out an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling. “Fine, I’ll allow it-“
“Loooogggyyyyy! How’s the soulmate boning going? Have you figured out that you’re a power bottom yet?”
“Hello, Remus. I take it you’re well.”
“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re my brother-in-law because I may have some need for a lawyer soon.”
Logan couldn’t conceal the grin from his voice as he replied, “As I know you know, I am not a defense attorney, nor would I ever be so unwise as to take you as a client.”
“Aww, you’re such a smart cookie! And by cookie I mean a snack, because mmmm-MMMm you’re a snacc!”
“Always glad to know I’m appreciated,” Logan replied drily. “Goodbye, Virgil. Goodbye, Remus.”
“See ya, L.”
“Byeeeeeeeeeee!”
⁂
When Janus returned, he was a bit taken aback to see Logan sitting in an armchair, reading. At the sound of the door, he looked up.
“Ah, Alighieri. I- I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
Janus paused. It was a good sign, but still so unexpected as to be unsettling.
Logan cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have left you in a lurch. You did not cause this situation anymore than did I, and you have not been unkind. I have a suggestion for how we might move forward.”
Janus winced internally, thinking of another disastrous attempt at a movie or workspace. “I actually had a thought on that as well, but um. What was yours?”
Logan cleared his throat again. “Well, since we have been... brought into this situation together, but as a pair are struggling to adjust, it seems logical to consult with an expert, much as we would in our work. Therefore, we should consult a professional on personal relationships.”
“Oh, thank god,” muttered Janus. “Yeah, I was gonna suggest a couples counselor too. I think that would make sense. And I actually have a personal reference to a very experienced therapist.”
That settled, they found the earliest possible appointment, only two days later.
“I do need to warn you-“ Janus said as they walked up to the office. It was their first time out of the apartment together, and it had been a very quiet walk over. “The methods of this therapist are- unorthodox. But they are highly acclaimed in their field.”
“Oh, are they an enby?” Logan asked.
“Yes and no,” Janus replied. “You see, there’s two of them.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, they’re a couple therapist that is also a couple.”
“I don’t- well- I mean, that’s odd, right?”
Janus grinned. “Yeah, odd is a common word to describe them. But they’re highly praised and like I said, they were recommended personally.”
“Right,” Logan said, squaring his shoulders. “An open mind is helpful for effective therapy, after all.”
“That’s the spirit! I think,” Janus replied, holding the door open.
A gothy receptionist showed them to a private room with a comfortably large couch. Logan looked around in trepidation and slight alarm at the decorations. There were countless Funko-Pops, posters, stuffed animals, and an alarmingly high number of travel mugs from what looked like every single cartoon that had ever existed.
Janus was slightly more prepared then Logan, but he still jumped out of his skin by the sudden singing coming around the door. A deep voice was booming, “Duhhh duh-duh-duh-duh-da-DUH!” in a building crescendo that went on and on, until both lawyers were staring in a mixture of confusion and irritation.
Then a tall, lanky man slid in the door and lowered his glasses to wink at them both. “Hey babes. Welcome to therapy.”
The singer followed him through the door, their bright pink hair a sharp contrast to their warm brown skin. “And thank you as always for the intro, honey!”
They smiled, big and toothy. “Welcome indeed! I’m Dr. Emile Picani, pronouns they/them, and this tall drink of coffee is my partner, Dr. Remy Picani, pronouns he/him! And you are Janus and Logan, correct?”
Logan looked a bit stunned still, so Janus took the lead. “Yes, I’m Janus Alighieri and this is Logan Finch, pronouns he/him for both. And I was referred by Patton Corwan-Augustus.”
Emile smiled even bigger, if that were possible. “Oh Patty! Best roommate ever, I still miss his brownies. It’s lovely to meet you both!”
“Best roommate? What am I, chopped liver?” Remy asked, hand pressed to his chest.
“Best friend, best coffee-maker, best of men and best of husbands,” Emile replied, and said husband immediately blushed.
Logan coughed politely. “Have you been married long?”
Remy smiled, still pink around the edges. “We’ve actually been married almost 10 years. The minute we graduated university, actually, when we knew our parents had not a shred left of financial control. We went through our PhDs together, which is why, of course, we’re qualified to help out other couples, because let me tell you, would not recommend.”
“Which brings us, of course, to you two!” Emile said brightly. “What is your goal in coming to therapy?”
Janus and Logan both began speaking at once.
“Well, it started in court-“
“It was completely unexpected, we’ve known each other for years-“
“-dreadfully embarrassing, not to mention the professional ramifications-“
“-it just feels like something’s missing-“
“-really want to just sort this out-“
“-just want to figure out the disconnect-“
“-and we can forget about the whole thing.”
“-want to make this work.”
They looked at each other, shocked, as their words both sank in.
Emile was tapping their Powerpuff Girls pencil topper steadily against their lips, eyes wide behind their pink-framed glasses.
Remy, at their side, leaned back and took a long, loud slurp of his iced coffee, rattling the ice around until the room’s attention was on him. Then he looked up and said, “Hoooo-wheee.”
“So I’m getting a lot of differing goals here,” Emile said delicately. “Let’s start with you, Janus. Can you expand, please?”
Janus tried to speak, but felt like his voice had dropped into the cold pit that was suddenly his stomach. “I, um,” he started with a shaky breath. He barely noticed when Remy pushed a cup of ice water into his hand, but a sip steadied him somewhat.
“You can look just at me, if that helps,” Emile said softly. “Or at my buddy Kaa here.” They gestured to the stuffed snake on the shelf behind them.
He looked like a fuzzy little Monty. That would do.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Janus said, acknowledging the water from Remy. “So. We’ve been rival lawyers for years, because we’re both the best at what we do. It was shocking, to suddenly be glowing in open court, but I thought we just needed to find common ground that’s not arguing. That’s why I’m here, at least.”
“And Logan?” Emile asked, still in that kind voice. Logan wouldn’t meet their eyes, though, or anyone’s.
“I thought- we both seemed so upset by the news. Or at least, I was, and perceived you to be as well.” He didn’t look up as he addressed Janus, but his eyes shifted over and took root on Janus’ polished loafers. “My plan was to spend whatever time was needed to stop glowing, then get back to our respective lives.”
“Do either of you have a question you’d like to ask of one another?” Remy asked. “It can be as large or small scale as you’d like, serious or frivolous.”
Both men looked up at the lanky therapist, who’d actually removed his dark glasses, revealing slightly foggy-looking irises. “Logan, it looks like you have one.”
“Oh- yes. So, Alighieri- I mean, Janus. To be clear- you were not upset by the news?”
Janus took a breath. “I mean, I was shocked, and upset to be removed in the middle of a case. But not about the soulmate thing, specifically. And I have a question too?” He looked to the therapists, who both nodded.
Janus looked over, and saw the Logan was watching him in his periphery. “When you say you were upset about the news- was it about the soulmate thing, or about me as your soulmate?”
Logan actually sat up, looking shocked. “Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely about the concept of ‘soulmate’ in general, not personal in any way. Did I-?”
“Well, yeah, a bit,” Janus said.
“I am- I am so sorry. I would have absolutely have been equally upset, no matter who I found to be an accidental soulmate.”
Janus felt his stomach unclench just a bit.
“Logan, what about soulmates in general upsets you?” Emile asked.
Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he stayed silent for a moment, then two. Finally, he said curtly, “I never asked for one. And no one asked if I wanted one, either.”
“No one asked if I wanted to be trans, and yet here I am,” Emile said with a cheeky grin. “We don’t always get a say over the circumstances of our birth.”
“But Emmy, you’ve found self-acceptance and happiness deriving from coming out,” Remy put in. “Logan, were you content with life before this reveal?”
Logan nodded.
“So there was no sense of dysphoria prior, or absence of a euphoria that was gained since.”
Again, Logan nodded.
“Couldn’t-“ Janus began. His throat felt a bit stuck. “Couldn’t there be something to be gained, though?”
Logan picked up a small figurine of Dexter from the table next to the couch, and fiddled with it in his lap as he spoke. “It’s not impossible, there could certainly be gains from a better acquaintance with you. But that’s not what a soulmate is supposed to be, is it? They’re supposed to complete you,” he said, his voice dripping in disdain. “Because you were incomplete before. Because you weren’t enough, alone, you were just waiting for the One. And of course, you can’t be trusted to find them yourself, some cosmic force determines it for you.”
Remy rested his hand in his hand, elbow propped on his knee. “Spill it, sis.”
Logan stared in confusion.
Remy smiled. “It means, approximately, ‘continue, you’ve got something good to say’. I’m getting a lot here- but a lot of the frustration seems to be with the idea that forces you can’t control are messing with your life, is that fair?”
Logan shifted. “Well, yeah, but that makes me sound like a control freak.”
“Not at all,” Janus interrupted. “Of course you don’t want something incomprehensible to make decisions for you. That’s not controlling, that’s perfectly understandable and human!”
Logan managed a small smile in response.
Emile beamed. “I couldn’t have said it better myself!”
“But I am def gonna poke some holes in your thought bubble,” Remy said cheerfully. “Starting with this: what do you mean when you say a soulmate is intended to be The One?”
Logan stared in disbelief. “Come on. Really? Look at, I don’t know, any piece of media ever. Or at you two. Or at my- friend and his husband. Or any other pair of soulmates!”
Janus added, “I mean, that’s what’s intended, right? With the whole ‘marked from birth’ thing?”
Emile looked at them both very seriously. “Did you know that Remy isn’t The One for me?”
“But he’s your soulmate?” Janus gasped out.
Emile nodded gravely. “He is my soulmate. But he is not my only soulmate.”
“I was designated female at birth to very traditional parents. They wanted me to marry my soulmate at 18, like they had, and they assumed he’d be a man. But my other soulmate was a girl, and I loved her with all my heart. And when I realized I wasn’t a girl, I thought my parents might accept us more. I was wrong.” They took a breath. “We were separated. I don’t know what happened to her. But it was enough to know that my parents didn’t care about my happiness, soulmate or no.”
“I’m so sorry,” Logan said quietly, and Janus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat.
“I was lucky, though,” they continued. “I found Remy only two years later. And he accepted me as I am, both my gender and my other soulmate. And the cartoons, of course.”
“I never got to meet her,” Remy said. “So we will never know if she was my soulmate, too. I choose to believe she wasn’t. I think she could have been Emile’s one and only, had they been able to stay together. And that doesn’t make me feel any less lucky to be Emile’s husband, nor any less loved by them.”
“And not to shock you even more, but not all soulmates are romantic,” Emile said. “I know that’s the media portrayal- but well, the media is also pretty straight. And cis. And white. And neurotypical. And-”
“What they’re getting at,” Remy interrupted, “is that common portrayals miss a lot of the variety and complexity of humanity as a whole, let alone the complexity of relationships.”
Logan was sitting very still, and not speaking. Janus was trying to wrap his mind around this, and spoke with uncharacteristic uncertainty as he asked, “So- for instance, um, you could have soulmates who are, uh, queerplatonic partners?”
Logan’s head snapped up, staring at Janus with wide eyes.
Remy grinned. “Yes, of course! I was worried I was going to have to do a vocab lesson, but you both seem to know what that is.”
“But-“ Janus began, brows furrowing.
“But that means-“ Logan muttered to himself.
“Why isn’t he my soulmate?” Janus asked, at the same time Logan asked, “Why aren’t they my soulmate?”
Lit by the twin glows reflecting against the wall, the therapist couple exchanged a pregnant look. Emile reached out and took a hand of each patient. “I know this is a lot to process, but I really want you to keep something in mind: a soulmate is not the only way we can love someone. It’s not the ‘best’ way or only valid way to love someone. The same way the platonic love you clearly both hold for a significant person in your life is no less valid than romantic.”
Remy sat up straight. “I want you both to think about this when you go home. Your love for your QPPs is wonderful, and worth cherishing. And I know you are both lawyers, so here’s a question for you to brief. We cannot know the actual intent of whatever force gave you marks that respond to each other. So I want to you look for what evidence there might be, in each other, for your connection.”
Emile added on, “You have a link, and it’s worth exploring. It doesn’t have to ever be more important, more meaningful than another connection you have. But understanding it is critical to bonding successfully.”
“I think we should wrap there, for this week,” Remy added. “But you can talk about this, of course, without us.”
Janus and Logan nodded, and left. The walk home was as quiet as the walk there had been, but this time the air thrummed with thoughts and ponderings.
⁂
Janus and Logan made dinner with relatively little talk, only quiet asks to pass a spice or a cooking implement. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, but one where their minds were far too loud to vocalize just yet.
Janus quietly suggested putting on TV, and picked the game show network as a neutral, unobjectionable option.
They ate as they watched, still burdened with their own thoughts, but slowly started to murmur the correct questions under their breath before the Jeopardy contestants were able to.
Final Jeopardy, as luck would have it, was on Latin - but specifically, Latin as used in law. Both attorneys chuckled at the contestants' answers, some of which weren't even close to correct.
Janus directed a cautious smile in Logan's direction, and found it reciprocated. But as he saw that familiar glow start to reflect off the walls, he tensed, waiting for Logan flee once more.
For the first time, though, he didn't. His eyes widened as he took in the lights, but he didn't move to stand or leave.
"About today-" Logan began. "I don't know that I am quite ready to discuss it all, but I did want to once again apologize for my handling of this situation, and its emotional impact on you. It was entirely unintentional, but I regret causing you distress."
"Thank you," Janus replied softly. "And thank you for being willing and open to go to counseling. I learned a lot today, all of it important."
"I'd like to talk about it tomorrow, if you'd be willing," Logan added. "There are some additional details I need to share, but I don't think I'm able at the present moment."
"Sounds good," Janus nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well."
"You as well."
But despite feeling tired, Janus found he wasn't at all sleepy. He ended up sitting up until the wee hours of the morning, stroking Monty gently and thinking a great deal.
⁂
The next morning, Janus woke up much earlier than his usual habit, but he needn't have worried - Logan was clearly waiting for him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and idly solving the entire Sunday crossword.
He looked up at the sound of Janus' door, and indicated the mostly-full coffee pot with a nod. Janus gratefully filled a mug for himself and lightened it thoroughly with cream, drinking deep as he stood angled so that he could offer critique and suggestions on the crossword.
"No, shush," Janus said, though Logan had not spoken. "It's gotta be White. Y'know, Betty? C'mon. Most-loved Gold? It's obvious."
Logan just smiled and penned in “White” in the horizontal boxes, immediately able to fill in the Down clues crossing them.
Once the puzzle was complete, Janus refilled his coffee and sat properly at the kitchen island.
"So, if you're amenable-" Logan began. "I believe I'm prepared to discuss yesterday in more detail."
Janus nodded. "Did you want to start off?"
"Yes, I think I must. Because there was one detail that I wasn't quite prepared to share that I think will be quite helpful in securing a full understanding."
At Janus' encouraging nod, Logan closed his eyes to take a breath, and said, "The truth is, I'm an aromantic asexual. That's why the concept of a soulmate was so upsetting to me, particularly because up until this week I had assumed I didn't have one."
Janus looked down. "I'm ace, too, but not aro, and... yeah, same boat, mostly. I thought I wouldn't have one, but when we started to glow, I assumed it must be romantic. But that must not be the case."
Logan tented his fingers together. "So you're not aro, but you do have a QPP?"
"Yeah - I definitely can experience romantic attraction, but what I feel for Patton has always been stronger, and different."
"I'd like to hear about him, if you'd be willing," Logan said softly, and was rewarded by a smile that seemed about to glow as brightly as his soulmark on Janus' face.
"Oh, he's just the best," Janus gushed. "I met him at the perfect time in my life. I'd just been dumped by an asshole because he couldn't deal with the fact that the asexual part wasn't just me being a tease. I was feeling pretty low, post-college, all alone in a new apartment, and then this beam of sunshine turns out to be the kind of neighbor who brings cookies as a greeting. Even though I wasn't exactly receptive, he just kept coming back, even just to check up on me, and soon I found myself looking forward to it, and then inviting myself over in return."
Logan paused. "Wait, your ex broke up with you because you were ace? Was it a surprise?"
Janus rolled his eyes. "No, not in the least. I'd told him, and reminded him, and he'd just been assuming I would 'get over it,' the fucker. Right after the breakup, there were times I wondered if he was right, if I should have just powered through my repulsion to make him happy. But Patton was amazing about that, too. When he heard what happened - oh my goodness, he was so angry on my behalf, he looked like he was going to Hulk out. And then he made it his mission to make sure I was being validated in my identity and knew that I was eminently lovable both in spite of and because of my aceness."
Logan smiled. "That's wonderful. I can see why you love him so much."
Janus sighed happily. "And it hasn't changed even though he's met his allo soulmate. Roman knows that our bond isn't and will never be a threat to theirs, and he makes Pat so happy. They're planning their wedding right now, but they've already signed all the papers and it'll just be a party where they gush about each other in public."
Janus sat for a moment, basking in the glow of his affection for Patton, before he turned to Logan and asked, “You have a QPP too, right?”
“I do,” Logan said, a smile stretching across his face unconsciously. “Their name is Virgil. And they’re also married to their soulmate.”
“Tell me about them,” Janus said, when Logan fell silent.
“They’re- they are just amazing. They’re my best friend, have been since about fourth grade. ” Logan’s eyes went a bit misty as he considered his childhood. “We bonded over being surrounded by idiots, after a debate simulation where we were on opposing sides.”
Janus smirked. “You mean I’m not your first? I’m heartbroken.”
Logan shot him a glare, but it had none of true anger’s heat.
“I guess we always had the feeling that we weren’t quite like everyone else. Besides the introverted tendencies, it wasn’t really a shock when they came out as nonbinary. They’d been online, discovering new terms, and in learning about their identity I ran into the aro and ace labels. I felt seen, do you know what I mean? And then Virgil just compounded that feeling by immediately understanding and accepting me. They call me a brother, just to explain that our relationship isn’t “just” friends.”
“What was it like when they met their soulmate?” Janus asked.
“It wasn’t nearly as smooth as your experience seems to have been,” Logan admitted.
“Their husband is... unique. Prone to rather odd fixations and interests. But he’s also demisexual, and like us, had thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate. And part of his defense mechanism against that kind of rejection was, well. Embracing his off-putting side. Being disgusting for the sake of it. Grossing out others before they could judge him for his orientation.”
Janus grimaced. “I know that feeling, all too well. Donning a mask, so that a rejection won’t be of you, just your persona.”
“Exactly,” Logan said, nodding. “I don’t think it helped that both Virgil’s and Remus’ soulmarks were in their hair. They’d both dyed their hair many times over the years, but it wasn’t enough to hide it. And once they had shown up- there was no more pretending.”
“Was it hard for them?” Janus asked.
“Accepting it was. But then they started actually talking and then it just- clicked. All those macabre interests that overlapped, the mutual obsession with MCR. They fell in love the minute they both let their walls down. And like you said- it never really changed what I had with Virge. They didn’t meet Reme until college, and didn’t get married until last year. So Virge told Reme that I was here to stay, and part of their life, and he accepted it without a blink. He’s a forensic archeologist now, to Virge’s forensic detective, so they’ve actually both been helpful in cases, too.”
“That’s... kind of adorable, in a weird way,” Janus said, scrunching his nose.
Logan chuckled. “‘Adorable in a weird way’ is the best possible description for their relationship.”
Janus tapped his finger on the island. “That sounds so familiar, though, and I can’t quite place it.” He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath. “Wait! Is Virgil’s husband an Augustus?”
“That was his surname, yes, though now it’s Angelico-“
“Oh my god!” Janus burst out. “That’s Patton’s brother-in-law!”
“What?”
“Roman Augustus! That’s his soulmate’s name! And he had a twin, but they had a falling out and haven’t been in contact for a couple of years. But he said he’d been in forensics!”
Logan blinked. “Well, it is certainly a small world. Not that Remus has ever talked about his brother, but I knew he had one.”
“That’s kind of crazy. What are the chances?” Janus asked, laughing.
Logan looked pointedly over. “Do you really want to know? I could calculate them-“
“Thanks, calculator watch, but I’m good.”
They both chuckled quietly, sitting side by side at the kitchen island.
“Hey, uh- thank you for trusting me, with the other day, and with this,” Janus said softly.
“I owe you thanks as well,” Logan replied. “I don’t frequently have the opportunity to talk about Virgil in detail and it’s- it’s nice.”
Janus just beamed, returning the sentiment without words.
In that moment, the sunlight of the room was tinged with colored light, gold and blue overlapping into rich emerald.
Logan hesitated, seeing it, but after a moment lifted his arm. Janus smiled and leaned in, accepting the offered side-hug.
“Hey Finch- I mean, Logan?”
“Yes Janus?”
“I may not be sure yet why we’re soulmates, but I’m definitely not disappointed that we are.”
A beat.
Then a soft murmur replied, “Neither am I.”
⁂
Later that afternoon, Logan returned from stocking up on more food to find Janus lying upside-down on the couch, lanky legs dangling over the back. His face was red enough to show that he’d been sitting there for a while as the blood rushed downward.
“I cannot imagine that is at all comfortable,” Logan commented drily, neatly putting away the packets of noodles and snacks he’d purchased.
“It helps me think,” Janus replied. “Especially when I’m trying to see something from another perspective.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “This better not have been a set-up just to make that terrible pun.”
Janus looked over, grinning. “It actually started that way, not gonna lie. I’d been venting to Patton about an oral argument simulation in law school and he suggested this as a joke. And then it actually helped.”
Logan huffed in what sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh and came to sit more normally in a chair next to the couch. “So what is it that you’re trying to change your perception of so literally?”
“Our case, actually - Gomex.” At Logan’s quizzical look, he replied, “The partners aren’t letting me onto new cases until they know I’ll be back in person. I’m getting bored. So I thought, you know. Why not figure out what I was missing in this one.” He shrugged, an odd contortion for an inverted torso.
“You were missing something? But you won at trial.”
“And I was caught off-guard by your appeal - or at least, the part where it survived my motion to dismiss.”
Logan allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “Surprised you with my impeccable research, did I? All my rock-solid precedent pointing out the clear error in the original jury instruction?”
Janus’ legs kicked idly in the air. “Your research is always impeccable. Of course you were able to find precedent on-point for the general issue, you’re good at this. But the facts of the case are just so different that how could any of those past rulings be definitive?”
Logan leaned back in his chair, tapping the arm pensively. “Wait, so you really believe that? It wasn’t just a tactic to make Gomex feel like they’re getting their money’s worth for your legal fees?”
Janus finally righted himself, sitting upright with a leg balancing on the coffee table. “Well, yeah , of course I do. I don’t take the time and effort to go to trial for bullshit unless the client can’t be talked down from combat mode. Racking up charges for unnecessary trial prep is only fun when they don’t take my advice.” He looked quizzically at Logan. “So you really didn’t see the difference between Gomex and, what, Sourgoutsis?”
“No material difference, no. It’s in the right circuit, it’s recent and binding, and it established a test that clearly applies here.”
“But the test requires knowledge!”
“Knowing includes reckless disregard for the truth, and Gomex had that.”
“Oh, you can hardly say it’s reckless when all the claims were paid without issue for a decade!”
Logan leaned forward, counting off points on his fingers. “The guidance is updated each year. The commentary points out the changes. Gomex has to certify as a company that they accept all current guidance and direction. If they didn’t actually know they were submitting false claims, they should have known, and had a duty to know.”
Janus’ eyes were flashing, but more with excitement than anger. “But even the commentary didn’t clarify that these specific claims would no longer be accepted in the future. Doesn’t the agency have a duty to be clear about changes in accepted policy when the code is so vast and companies used past claims as standards for future approval?”
“But the companies are the experts in their own industries. They should know that these kind of differences are significant and material.”
Janus sat up fully straight, pointing enthusiastically. “That’s it!”
“What’s it?”
“I figured it out! It is a matter of perspective. But not the perspective of side versus side, like I was thinking. It’s time.”
Logan leaned in, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Expand, please.”
Janus nodded, mirroring Logan’s pose even as his hands remained free to gesture. “So you’re looking at this as: company knows their procedures best, they’re the ones making profit off it, so their duty to know details is higher than the public agency. Right?”
Logan nodded.
“Here’s where I’m coming from - it’s not a question of if this company knew or should have known this distinction, or even if this industry has the expertise that the agency lacks. It’s about what this case would do to the Sourgoutsis test for cases in the future. If the agency doesn’t have to clarify a policy change now, why would it ever? If it’s not enough that companies rely on a long history of approval here, when will it ever be? Do you follow, Logan?”
Logan linked his fingers, tapping the tips of his forefingers gently. “So your concern is about using a history of compliance as evidence of good faith?”
“Exactly, yes.”
“But Gomex knew that the change meant the compliant history was no longer relevant.”
“Only because they had insider knowledge of the change process. Not from the public information.”
“Wait, so you agree that Gomex knew?”
Janus grinned sheepishly, baring all his teeth. “Well, we’re both off the case now, so- yeah. They knew or should have known their claims would get rejected and banked on the agency not noticing for just long enough.”
Logan gasped. “But you still went into court and got the jury to agree with you that they didn’t!?”
Janus shrugged pragmatically. “It’s not about Gomex, it’s about the precedent this will set. I’d rather one bad actor get away with it now than have who-knows-how-many claims get screwed in the future for a good-faith misunderstanding.”
“Especially if that bad actor is paying you millions to help them get away with it?” Logan asked with an eyebrow raised.
Janus raised one of his own. “So you’d rather let a bad test become binding because the agency is paying you millions to get it set in stone?”
Logan, about to respond hotly, paused. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment. I didn’t think it was that bad a test until now - I assumed the insider knowledge would be baked into the standard.”
“You gotta think cynically, Mr. Finch,” Janus said with a chuckle. “Picture the worst-faith application and work backwards from there, cause you know it’ll end up happening.”
“Hmm,” Logan said with a quiet laugh. “When you’re right, you’re right.”
Janus fluttered his lashes. “The great Logan Finch thinks I’m right about something. My life’s goal is achieved.”
“Hey, I think you’re correct quite a lot!” Logan objected. “Infuriatingly precise and pedantic, sure, but ultimately right. There’s a reason my firm sends me against you - no one else wants to fight what’ll be a losing battle half the time.”
“Only half?”
“Even you must admit I’ve been correct on more than one occasion,” Logan said with a smile.
“That is true,” Janus admitted. “Knowing that you’re going to be the opposing counsel always makes me up my game.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” Logan said wryly. “I’d never admit it to the other partners, but you make me a better lawyer, Janus.”
The flattered glow of Janus’ grin was immediately dwarfed by two other, brighter bursts of light. Gold and blue pulsed from their backs in a flash, then settled into steady light. The colors lit the stylish room, blending to emerald as they pulsed in time with each man’s heartbeat. Logan looked at the glow reflected on the white couch cushions with wonder as he realized that Janus’ back was no longer shining blue, but green. He caught his eyes and realized his own glow must have changed colors as well.
The lights pulsed more and more gently until they dimmed and went out, leaving Janus and Logan sitting across from one another just as the last of the sunlight fell below the horizon and the room went dark.
The silence stretched for several moments, until Janus finally broke it with a bemused, “Huh.”
“So that was-”
“I think so.
“So now we’re-”
“Bonded, yeah. I think.”
“That would be a logical assumption.”
The silence returned, each man lost in his own thoughts. When they spoke again, it was at once.
“Maybe we should-”
“Perhaps we could still-”
“-make sure it’s permanent?
“-take a few days more?”
They shared a grin.
“A couple more days couldn’t hurt,” Janus said. “After all, it could be a fluke. We wouldn’t want to set a standard from a mere fluke.”
“Oh, of course not,” Logan responded with the same tone of amusement. “We want to confirm the integrity of the test.”
Janus stood to flick on a light, then turned as a thought occurred.
“Wait, Logan - even once we go back, we won’t be able to be opposing counsel anymore. The soulmate code will still be applied, even though we’re not romantic or QP soulmates.”
Logan’s face fell for a moment, then lit up once more as he stood. “Well, we’ve got a couple days at least. I think the two best lawyers in the state might be able to argue that every precedent has an exception, don’t you, Mr. Alighieri?”
Janus’ smile mirrored Logan’s own as he replied, “Why yes, Mr. Finch, I think we might.”
#ts logan#ts janus#loceit#ts loceit#platonic loceit#sanders sides fanfiction#royality#dukexiety#remile#qpp analogical#qpp moceit#lawyer au#blatant self pandering#roses writes fanfic#this is Far Longer than intended#fighting over the mcu#arophobia#aro/ace logan#ace janus#acephobia
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[thread]
fuckin' this, folks. and I mean you KNOW I am here for fanfic, now and always, but that is NOT what this nomination is about! do you know how advanced an archival system ao3 is? the ways its indexing and DB structure improve discoverability for MILLIONS of readers?
I know librarians who'd kill for that kind of tech! and this is glued together from cloudsourced specs while training their OWN coders on the way. and - this is not wordpress, people, they OWN THE SERVERS. they fund and pay wages for sysadmining! there's rackspace!
no, okay, look, listen, look: this is my job. I do it for a living. it is the only way I could go to cons, could take time to write. I only, only, ONLY ever took a programming class because Ao3 existed and showed me it could be done.
think of it this way: if someone nominated twitter (...go with me) for an award, would you immediately conclude they meant the tweets? pff. no. that's content. that's the squishy stuff. tech is the skeleton it rests on. well, guess what: the Archive of Our Own is Real Tech too.
's better than Amazon is for providing new content to read. god, the filters. the freeform tagging (sure, yeah, it's not Machine Learning, it's manually wrangled - someone had to go tell the robots 'AU' == 'Alternate Universe'). sort by length!! fuckin' ratings!!!
and - those of you who haven't been to ao3, y'know, may I suggest if you're curious, go take ten minutes and look? I'll wait. A good place to start might be the fandoms front page. https://archiveofourown.org/media
Go tell me if you can figure out how that works. Heck, I almost wanna start a scavenger hunt. Find a fic over 100k. Change the font to large. Go print a fic to mobi, or epub, or pdf and load it onto your tablet or kindle. Find me some meta with more than 500 comments.
The UI design is IMPECCABLE. Search box in the top right. fonts all clean and clear. never, EVER see any javascript overlaps or partial loads or slow graphics - they know better than that. you can slap a custom skin on it. heck, there's a link to the source code in the footer!
How about a fic - here we go, Speranza's classic, Written by the Victors. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15 There's a bunch of UI you don't see if you aren't logged in - the heavensent 'Mark for Later' button, for example - but still. Everything you could click is easy to grok.
Want more like it? Super easy and intuitive to click a tag, or the fandom, or a pairing (or even just M/M if you want to load half the site) and see more fic in that category. Sort by comments or hits or kudos and you get a good idea which ones are worth opening.
These folks REALLY know their UI. But, okay, hang on, yes they do, and many are trained pros, but many also aren't! the people building this site just WORK HARD, they try things out, they listen to feedback and iterate - (how much Big Tech can say as much these days)
- but ALSO, and here's what's important to realise, this is a community project, a community space, and it was DESIGNED to TEACH. (Did you know when it was first proposed, they trialed Ruby and Python to see which was quicker for beginners? I know 'cause I voted Python 🐍🤷♀️😂)
Do you know how rare it is to find that in Open Source? Listen, okay, I'm a professional techie and I would NE-E-EVER venture into eg the Linux core with 'Jennifer' attached to my sig in any way whatsoever. Aside from that, much of OSS is, hmm, results-oriented.
They expect you to show up fully-functional on day one, w/ a pull request ready to patch. Remind me, what's the demographic balance in Ye Average compsci program? And of those, who's working nights / caring for relatives / otherwise unable to Do Their Time posturing on github?
But the Organization for Transformative Works isn't here for that. They know (we know) that Fan is a Tool-Using Animal. idlewords.com/talks/fan_is_a… And the Archive of Our Own is proof of that.
So maybe think on that a little, the next time Patreon has a ToS hiccup. The next time Jack removes like counts. Think of what Archive coders built, in the face of Livejournal's hypocrisy, in spite of everyone telling us it was Too Much, we'd bitten off more than we could chew.
That. That's what this nomination is about. And yeah, we built it so we could host the smutty Harry/Draco and the conspiracy theories about Sansa and alllll the Naruto time travel fixit fic you could POSSIBLY ever read. And that's pretty fuckin' great, in my book.
(...I do not have a SoundCloud, but I do have a hugo nominated podcast, @serpentcast , which is entirely made up of the three of us yelling about fanfic in the same breath as professional fiction & media. which is where it has always belonged.)
#ao3#hugo awards#fan is a tool using animal#h/t#messier51#long post#edited for clarification#they are a nominee
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Probably a loaded question, but with all the game engines you've worked with, what are the pros and cons for each? I'm really interested in trying my hand. So far I got rpg maker mv for a paid engine, but I'mma l look into free ones also. (Game Maker seems a bit expensive for my tastes :()
GOD YEAH game maker is... so expensive... i’m hoping my bro gets me it for Christmas when its on sale. but even then like. ouch. that price tag.
so here are all the programs I've used to make my fangame at some point:
uh. long ass post ahead.
COST: 15$
its a visual novel making program! like RPG maker, its not code based, but visual based! you just click and drag the stuff from the left onto the right area and boom. game made. Honestly, a really good introduction to making a video game! Its very basic and simple, which is very newbie friendly. Lots of Youtube videos on how to do things too.
You can technically do more with it by using the program’s coding language OR by using java-script, tho personally i’m not good at coding yet so i never really saw what i could do with it. i haven’t really used it in a year but honestly, i can’t thank it enough for being such a good introduction to game development.
Pros: cheap one time fee, easy for newbies and visual based.
Cons: very limited to just visual novels, and even then to do more complex stuff you really have to work for it to get it to work.
RENPY
COST: FREE
THE free visual novel program. It’s a bit of a learning curve since everything is done in script, (ie: no visuals) BUT its VERY simple and easy to learn and once you get it and it clicks, you can do a lot with it! because you code it yourself, the limits are nearly endless. uses it’s own language, but you can also use python (or its built on python? can’t remember lol) and python is built for newbies.
Pros: free, limited only by what you’re willing to learn to do with code, while you can make RPGS its pretty limited since its not built for it
Cons: only super easy to use once you get over the learning curve. if you have any experience w/ code, its a breeze. if not, still easy to learn!, you can only use it for rpgs, NOT a visual program
(and other RPG Maker game engines)
COST: 50$ (EXPENSIVE! but it does go on sale once in a while. i got mine at 20-ish$)
idk if you plan on making a UT fangame too but its totally possible!!! i’m doing it!! and i would be very happy to share/help others with theirs. i mean. mostly its just plugins from other people, but i did set up a pretty nice inventory and i can show ya’ll how i make the sprites. (since UT has a lot smaller tileset size) and honestly, if you need help w/ this program my instant messenger is always open B)
uh anyway. RPG maker is a godsend for someone like me who is very visual minded and has a hard time grasping code. i know python... ok-ish. im still a noob. ANYWAY yah, theres LOTS of tutorials and plugins you can sink your teeth into, big communities who are all happy to share and help each other out. its pretty great! (actually, you could say the same w/ all these game engines! but the RPG maker forums is like. super nice from what i’ve seen)
so like, with youtube you can learn how to use it within a day or two, frankly. and you can do SO much with it w/ plugins. and the community is ages old, and the game itself is a few years old and has plenty to offer. you need something? likely someone else has made a plugin or forum post on the topic and someone has helped them figure it out. HIGHLY recommend this program if you can afford it (and you already have it, so honestly, just go w/ rpg maker.)
i wouldn’t super recommend the default assets cause the community hates them. they’re way over used and people see it as “lazy.” its good as like, a stepping stone but you shouldn’t rely on them for your whole game if you can manage your own graphics or pay someone to make them. if not, theres still free tilesets you can use if you look for them.
Pros: big friendly community, lots of resources to use, capable of A LOT of things, hassle free for the most part!
Cons: price is big, but it goes on sale often and the older versions of RPG maker aren’t that much different/worse. granted, MV is the best but like, the others aren’t bad. quite a bit to learn at first, but really simple honestly.
COST: Free (sorta. you need a license for certain aspects, but really u could do it free w/ zero issue except for exporting to multiple devices)
ok so like. i don’t. really know how to use unity too well. out of all of these, i haven’t used it for long. while still somewhat visual, you still have to learn a quite a bit of code and look up tutorials to figure out specific things you want to do.
for UT fangames, there is UNITALE/Create Your Own Frisk which uses unity, tho you don’t need the Unity to make games unless you want to make a overworld. since i’m making a overworld and more, i’ll need to learn how to use Unity. It’s a uphill battle but i’m fairly certain i can do it eventually.
there’s a LOT of resources but theres also a LOT to learn. untiy is pretty big and well known, for both 3d and 2d so like, go ham. have fun.
Pros: can do anything
Cons: can do anything so you gotta learn how to do it w/ code.
Cost: has both a subscription and a license you can purchase. its,,, pricey and doesn’t go on sale all too often.
I actually don’t have ANY experience with this program except for like. a few night’s worth. i read the manual if that counts for anything lol.
uh, its very script base and it looks good? uh. idk. its. yeah? i heard its great and i’m sure for that price and for it to be respected so much its got a lot live up to. my brother likes it and hes a Real nerd. so. i guess??? it should be worth it? i’d say wait until around Christmas/later in November for the steam sale if you really want to.
i mean, UT was made with the first one (tho i hear GMS 2 is way better) and toby didn’t know how to code going in so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ honestly anyone can learn it and while i haven’t gotten to use it much yet, I want to.
there’s the Undertale Fan Engine made with GMS 2 and i’ve tried it, its pretty extensive and frickin cool.
TLDR; figure out what kind of game and story you want to tell/make. i could of saved a year’s worth of work if i just sat myself down and realized i wanted to make a completely new fangame separate from my old blog stuff. and that i wanted to make an rpg specifically.
honestly, i want to make more games after AL, like, if i could become a indie dev that’d be my dream. (ironic since i don’t play video games LMAO)
but yeah! theres lots of choices, and its all a little overwhelming honestly! if theres anything you need help with w/ any of these programs I am happy to help further. I wish you the best of luck!!!! video game making is hard work but its so worth it!!!
#long post#personal stuff#sams replies#also sorry i didn't go back and reread to fix things up im lazy#dream-unity
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Version 379
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Happy New Year! Although I have been ill, I had a great week, mostly working on a variety of small jobs. Search is faster, there's some new UI, and m4a files are now supported.
search
As hoped, I have completed and extended the search optimisations from v378. Searches for tags, namespaces, wildcards, or known urls, particularly if they are mixed with other search predicates, should now be faster and less prone to spikes in complicated situations. These speed improvements are most significant on large clients with hundreds of thousands or millions of files.
Also, like how system:inbox and system:archive 'cancel' each other out, a few more kinds of search predicate will remove mutually exclusive or redundant predicates already in the search list. system:limit predicates will remove other system:limits, system:audio/no audio will nullify each other, and--I may change this--any search predicate will replace system:everything. I have a better system for how this replacement works, and in the coming weeks I expect to extend it to do proper range-checking, so a system:filesize<256KB will remove a system:filesize<1MB or system:filesize<16KB or system:filesize>512KB, but not a system:filesize>128KB.
downloaders
I have started on some quality of life for the downloader UI. Several of the clunky buttons beneath the page lists are now smaller icons, you can now 'retry ignored' files from a button or a list right-click, any file import status button lets you right-click->show all/new in a new page, and the file import status list now lets you double-click/enter a selection to show that selection in a new page.
I have rolled in a fixed derpibooru downloader into the update. It seems to all work again.
With the pixiv login script confirmed completely broken with no easy hydrus fix in sight, if you have an 'active' record with the old, now-defunct default pixiv login script, this week's update will deactivate it and provide you with a note and a recommendation to use the Hydrus Companion web browser addon in order to login.
the rest
m4a files are now supported and recognised as audio-only files. These were often recognised as mp4s before--essentially, they are just mp4s with no video stream. I have made the choice for now to recognise them as audio-only even if they have a single frame 'jpeg' video stream. I hope to add support to hydrus for 'audio+picture' files soon so I can display album art better than inside a janked single-frame video.
The 'remove' and 'select' menus on the thumbnail right-click have been improved and harmonised. Both now lay out nicely, with file service options (like 'my files' vs 'trash' when there is a mix), and both provide file counts for all options. Support for selecting and removing from collected media is also improved.
full list
downloaders:
the right-click menus from gallery and watcher page lists now provide a 'remove' option
gallery and watchers now provide buttons and menu actions for 'retry ignored'
activating a file import status list (double-clicking or hitting enter on a selection of rows) now opens the selection in a new page
file import status buttons now have show new/all files on their right-click menus
on gallery and watcher pages, the highlight, clear highlight, pause files, and pause search/check buttons are now smaller bitmap buttons
as the old default pixiv login script is completely broken, any client with this active will have it deactivated and receive an update popup explaining the situation and suggesting to use Hydrus Companion for login instead
updated the derpibooru downloader
.
search:
when search predicates are added to the active search list, they are now better able to remove existing mutually exclusive/redundant predicates:
- system:limit, hash, and similar to predicates now remove other instances of their type
- system:has audio now removes system:no audio and vice versa
- any search predicate will remove system:everything (see how you feel about this)
improved 378's db optimisation to do tag searches in large file domains faster
namespace search predicates ('character:anything' etc...) now take advantage of the same set of temporary file domain optimisations that tag predicates do, so mixing them with other search predicates will radically improve their speed
wildcard search predicates, which have been notoriously slow in some cases, now take full advantage of the new tag search optimisations and are radically faster when mixed with other search predicates
simple tag, namespace, or wildcard searches that are mixed with a very large system:inbox predicate are now much faster
a variety of searches that include simple system predicates are now faster
integer tag searches also now use the new tag search optimisation tech, and are radically faster when mixed with other search predicates
system:known url queries now use the same temporary file domain search optimisation, and a web-domain search optimisation. this particularly improves domain and url class searches
fixed an issue with the new system:limit sorting where sort types with non-comprehensive data (like media views/viewtime, where files may not yet have records) were not delivering the 'missing' file results
improved the limit/sort_by logic to only do sort when absolutely needed
fixed the system:limit panel label to talk about the new sorted clipping
refactored tag searching code
refactored namespace searching code
refactored wildcard searching code and its related subfunctions
cleaned all mappings searching code further
.
the rest:
m4a files (and m4b) are now supported and recognised as separate audio-only mp4 files. files with a single jpeg frame for their video stream (such as an album cover) should also be recognised as audio only m4a for hydrus purposes for now. better single-frame audio support, including functional thumbnails and display, is planned for the future. please send in any m4a or m4b files that detect incorrectly
the remove thumbnail menu has been moved to a new, cleaner file filtering system. it now presents remove options for different file services and local/remote when available (most of the time, this will be 'my files'/'trash' appearing when there is a mix), including with counts for all options
the select thumbnail menu is also moved to this same file filtering system. it has a neater menu, with counts for each entry. also, when there is no current focus, or it is to be deselected, the first file to be selected is now focused and scrolled to
for thumbnail icon display and internal calculations, collections now _merge_ the locations of their members, rather than intersecting. if a collection includes any trash, or any ipfs members, it will have the appropriate icon. this also fixes some selection-by-file-service logic for collections
import folders, export folders, and subscriptions now explicitly only start after the first session has been loaded (so as well as freeing up some boot CPU competition, a quick import folder will now not miss publishing a file or two to a long-loading session)
the subscription manager now only waits 15s before starting first work (previously, the buffer was 60 seconds)
rearranged migrate tags panel so action comes before destination and added another help text line to clarify how it works. the 'go' confirmation dialog now summarises tag filtering as well
tag filter buttons now have a prefix on their labels and tooltips to better explain what they are doing
the duplicate filter right-center hover window should now shorten its height appropriately when the pairs change
fixed a couple of bugs that could appear when shutting down the duplicate filter
hackily 'fixed' an issue with duplicates processing that could cause too many 'commit and continue?' dialogs to open. a better fix here will come with a pending rewrite
dejanked a little of how migrate tags frame is launched from the manage tags dialog
updated the backup help a little and added a note about backing up to the first-start popup
improved shutdown time for a variety of situations and added a couple more text notifications to shutdown splash
cleaned up some exit code
removed the old 'service info fatten' maintenance job, which is not really needed any more
misc code cleanup
updated to Qt 5.14 on Windows and Linux builds, OpenCV 4.1.2 on all builds
next week
Next week is a 'medium size job' week. Now I am more comfortable with Qt, I would love to see if I can get an MPV window embedded into hydrus so we finally have legit video+audio support. I can't promise I can get anything but a rough prototype ready for 380 for all platforms, and there is a small chance it just won't work at all, but I'll give it a go.
Hydrus had a busy 2019. Starting with the jump to python 3, and then the duplicate storage and filter overhaul, the Client API, OR search, proper audio detection, the file maintenance system, multiple local tag services, tag migration, asynchronous repository processing, fast tag autocomplete, and all the smaller improvements to downloaders and UI workflow and latency and backend scheduling and optimisations for our growing databases, and then most recently with the huge Qt conversion. The wider community also had some bumps, but we survived. Now we are in 2020, I am feeling good and looking forward to another productive year. There are a couple of thousand things I still want to do, so I will keep on pushing and try to have fun along the way. I hope you have a great year too!
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YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS
I guarantee you'll be surprised by the consequences of the licensing deal for DOS, just as it's easier to get people to remember just one quote about programming, it would be more interested in an essay about why something isn't the problem, even though you know that free with just two exclamation points has a probability of. Then when you reach for the sledgehammer; if their kids won't listen to them, because you can, to a limited extent, simulate a closure a function that takes a number n, and returns a function that refers to variables defined in enclosing scopes by defining a class with one method and a field to replace each variable from an enclosing scope.1 The US Is Not Yet a Police State. Better Judgement Needed If the number of users and the problem is usually artificial and predetermined. There are two main kinds of error that get in the way you'd expect any subculture to be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount you need to simplify and clarify, and the threat to potential investors and they hope this will make it big is not simply to give them at least 20 years, and then at each point the way such a project would play out? You could do it than literally making a mark on the world.2 I'll come running.3 They make such great CEOs. First of all, for the most part they punt. For all its power, Silicon Valley is that you get discouraged when no one else at the time.
But there is also huge source of implicit tags that they ignore: the text within web links.4 It was more prestigious to be one of those things until you strike something. Both self-control and experience have this effect: to eliminate the random biases that come from your own circumstances, and tricks played by the artist.5 It's very common for startups to exist.6 But even in the mating dance, patents are part of the mob, stand as far away from it myself; I see it there on the page and quickly move on to the next step, whatever that is. Meanwhile the iPhone is selling better than ever. 4 million is starting to appear in the mainstream media came from. People's best friends are likely to be careful here to distinguish between them. If you have multiple founders, esprit de corps binds them together in one place for a certain percentage of your startup. There is more to be actively curious. Most CEOs delegate taste to a subordinate.7 The closest thing seemed to be synonymous with quiet, so I won't repeat it all here.
The nature of the application domain.8 Mean People Fail November 2014 It struck me recently how few of the startups we fund. Angels don't like publicity.9 That can be useful when it's a crappy version one made by a company called Y Combinator that said Y Combinator does seed funding for startups is way less than the measurement error. But there is no argument about that—at least in computational bottlenecks. And in the film industry, though producers may second-guess directors, the director controls most of what is now called VoIP, and it will take off. Instead of bubbling up from the bottom, by overpaying unions, the traditional news media, and the techniques I used may be applicable to ideas in general.10 If someone proves a new theorem, it takes some work by the reader to decide whether or not to upvote it. But because patent trolls don't make anything physical.11
They work well enough in everyday life.12 This site isn't lame. It's all evasion.13 A comparatively safe and prosperous career with some automatic baseline prestige is dangerously tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about it, and the path to intelligence through carefully selected self-indulgence by mimicking more virtuous types. Spend little. Someone like Bill Gates? In the last 20 years, grown into a monstrosity. I'm not writing here about Java which I have never seen any of ITA's code, but according to one of the causes of the increase in disagreement, there's a good chance the person at the next table could help you at all. Also, startups are an all-star team. I can solve that problem by stopping entirely. Wouldn't it start to seem lame?
It would be a good idea.14 I read most things I write out loud at least once a week, cooked for the first couple generations.15 I'm not saying it's correct, incidentally, but it happens surprisingly rarely. I've learned about VC while working on it for a couple years for another company for two years. The word boss is derived from a talk at Oscon 2004.16 I assumed I'd learn what in college.17 But also it will tell you to spend too much. The problem is not the one that is. Inexperienced angels often get cold feet.18
Even more important than others? File://localhost/home/patrick/Documents/programming/python projects/UlyssesRedux/corpora/unsorted/schlep. But after a while I learned the trick of speaking fast.19 Why wouldn't young professionals make lots of new things I want to reach users, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions, and to analyze based on what a few people think in our insular little Web 2.20 Fortunately if this does happen it will take a big bite out of your round. What difference did it make if other manufacturers could offer DOS too? One of the things I had to condense the power of compound growth. Then they're mystified to find that there are degrees of coolness. It requires the kind of intensity and dedication from programmers that they will always be made to develop new technologies at a slower rate than the rest, and the second is whatever specific lies Xes differentiate themselves by believing. This bites you twice: they get less done, but they need more help because life is so precarious for them. Unless they've tried not taking board seats and found their returns are lower, they're not drifting.
Programmers don't use launch-fast-and-so is an animal.21 But it is very hard for someone who publishes online.22 Not because starting one's own company seemed too ambitious, but because it didn't look like a car spinning its wheels. It's hard for them to change. Experts have given Wikipedia middling reviews, but they weren't going to wait. Wufoo seem to have any teeth, and the useful half is the payload. This is arguably a permissible tactic.
Most books on startups also seem to be joined together, but really the thesis is an optimistic one—that everyone should go and start a startup during college, but it was simpler than they thought. I do in proper essays. Because they personally liked it. Game We saw this happen so often that we made up a name for what I learned from this experiment is that if VCs are only doing it in the plainest words and you'll be free again.23 That's the worst thing about our software. Now the results seem inspired by the Scientologist principle that what's true is what's true for you. Also, the money might come in several tranches, the later ones subject to various conditions—though this is apparently more common in deals with lower-tier investors sometimes give offers with very short fuses, because they get their ideas? If you do that you raise too many expectations. There's no reason to believe there is any field in which the most efficient solutions win, rather than working on the company to become valuable, and you don't have significant success to cheer you up when things go wrong.24
Notes
That's a good nerd, just that if the statistics they use; if anything they could to help you even be tempted to do is adjust the weights till the 1920s to financing growth with the other hand, launching something small and traditional proprietors on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the recommendations. If you're doing. There were a property of the world will sooner or later.
And yet I think it's publication that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language. Google and Facebook are driven by money, then you're being gratuitously troublesome. We walked with him for the next round.
People were more dependent on banks for capital for expansion.
That's not a remark about the idea upon have different time quanta. Since the remaining power of Democractic party machines, but since it was 10. The chief lit a cigarette.
Without the prospect of publication, the average Edwardian might well guess wrong.
In fact, for example I've deliberately avoided saying whether the 25 people have responded to this talk, so that you can't help associating it with the founders' salaries to the prevalence of systems of seniority. Moving large amounts of new stock. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day or die.
This form of religious wars or undergraduate textbooks so determinedly neutral that they're really saying is they want to learn.
This is an interesting sort of dress rehearsal for the first 40 employees, with the issues they have that glazed over look.
According to Sports Illustrated, the first duty of the anti-dilution protections.
Currently we do at least seem to understand technology because they could not process it.
Doing a rolling close usually prevents this. The liking you have to replace you. Convertible debt is usually slow growth or excessive spending rather than given by other people.
Investors are fine with funding nerds. Cascading menus would also be argued that we wouldn't have the concept of the war, federal tax receipts have stayed close to the inane questions of the Fabian Society, it often means the startup will be, unchanging, but Joshua Schachter tells me it was wiser for them by the National Center for Education Statistics, the activation energy to start with consumer electronics and to run an online service. Seeming like they worked together mostly at night.
Instead of making n constant, it is. I started using it out of their due diligence tends to happen fast, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by you based on respect for their judgement. If you're sufficiently good bet, why not turn your company into one? Which explains the astonished stories one always hears about VC while working on such an interview.
Com/spam. So if you're a YC startup you can do it to colleagues. Doh.
That's the difference between good and bad measurers. I get the money, then their incentives aren't aligned with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while she likes getting attention in the nature of server-based applications, and how unbelievably annoying it is. That's probably too much to hope for, but they can't teach students how to deal with the other direction Y Combinator.
The downside is that there's more of the expert they send to look you over.
If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to pick a date, because the median case.
They're motivated by examples of how hard they work. They're so selective that they won't be able to hire a lot of people like them—people who have money to spend a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this type: lies told by older siblings. But no planes crash if your goal is to make money from the Ordinatio of Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. Structurally the idea that they probably wouldn't be irrational.
They thought most programming would be to say for sure whether, e. Travel has the same investor to do it to them, but investors can get done before that. To get all that matters, just as he or she would be on demand, because universities are where a lot of startups will generally raise large amounts of our own, like a wave. So as a naturalist.
It's interesting to consider behaving the opposite. Which in turn forces Digg to respond with extreme countermeasures.
Maybe that isn't really working bad unit economics, typically and then being unable to raise money, you can base brand on anything with a slight disadvantage, but historical abuses are easier for us, they are bleeding cash really fast. Though in fact it may be underestimating VCs. 25. And I've never heard of many startups from Philadelphia.
For example, understanding French will help dispel the cloud of semi-sacred mystery that surrounds a hot startup. Those investors probably thought they'd been pretty clever by getting such a dangerous mistake to believe that successful founders still get rich will use this technique, you'll be well on your product, just harder.
Common Lisp for, but those are probably not do this right you'd have reached after lots of back and forth. This is isomorphic to the company's PR people worked hard to get a real partner. In fact since 2 1.
I'm not saying that's all prep schools is to give them sufficient activation energy for enterprise software.
#automatically generated text#Markov chains#Paul Graham#Python#Patrick Mooney#case#expansion#salaries#Lisp#manufacturers#funding#product#coolness#judgement#words#disagreement#concept#implicit#news#argument#mating#textbooks#expectations#quanta#talk#money#company#universities#Joshua
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Straight Boy
Part 2: together
Rating: M
Genre: Fluff
Word count: 10365
Chapters: 2/4 [All chapters]
Read on AO3
AN: Oooooh this chapter is fuuuuun :) I loved writing all this fic but especially this chapter. Also, forgot to mention it last chapter, but yes "Baz in glasses" is BACK baby!!! I love this HC and I will keep putting it in fics until I die. Well, enjoy this chapter :D
Tagging: @jeansjeansjeansjeans
———————————————-
I have to do a double take of the building. I check the address Baz text sent me, and it’s right. This fancy ass mostly glass white condo is definitely the right place. Well, Baz said his family was rich, maybe they bought him a whole condo for uni? Yeah...
I walk and type in the buzzer code Baz gave me. It rings low and loud, until a very pissed off voice comes on. And it’s definitely not Baz.
“What?!” The posh woman barks out. I instinctively step away.
“Uh, I’m here to see Baz?” I say with extreme caution. “I’m Simon, by the way.”
“Oh, right, Basilton said you were coming.”
Basilton? What? Okay, not important right now. There’s an obnoxiously loud buzz and the door unlocks. I rush in and go towards the elevator. It’s all cold grey fancy steel. I feel very intimidating as I go up to the twenty fifth floor. Luckily, Baz’s flat is just to the right, so I don’t get lost. (Penny says I get lost turning left.) I knock on the door lightly. A few heavy steps come towards me, then the door swings open, making me take a step back.
This woman is definitely not Baz, but I’m pretty damn sure they’re related. Same skin tone, same grey eyes, same black hair. Though she has a thick white blonde streak at the front. I can’t tell if it’s dyed or natural. She’s wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans with old Doc Martens. She looks like she just came out from a seventies punk bar, and she was the headline act.
“Uh, hello,” I say very cautiously. “I’m Simon.”
“So, you’re Simon,” she replies with a weird suspicion. “You’re shorter than I thought you would be.”
“Um, sorry?”
“Fiona!” I hear Baz shout from behind her. He appears suddenly, glasses on top of his head, hair falling in a lazy wave over his angry face. He's dressed in a loose white shirts and blue jeans we picked out at W Wood. Wait, are jeans his lazy clothes? Huh, odd. He looks good, so whatever.
“Stop picking on Simon,” he growls at the women, apparently called Fiona, glaring viciously. Fiona glares right back.
“I wasn’t picking on him,” she says with bite.
Baz rolls his eyes dramatically. “Of course you weren’t.” He finally looks at me and immediately grins. “Hi, Snow, glad you could make it. This is my Aunt Fiona. Please ignore her. She’s over protective, like an old pit bull.”
Fiona scoffs loudly and smacks his arm. “I am not old, you wanker! I’m only thirty eight!”
“Not the important thing here. Now, Fiona, don’t you have somewhere to be?” He raises one eyebrow impossibly high. Fiona glares even harder.
“This is my apartment, y’know.”
“Our apartment now. And you’re going to Nicky’s. Seriously, why don’t you two just get a flat together and give me the place to myself 24/7?”
Fiona rolls her eyes. Wow, I can see where Baz gets it from. “Please, we’re too new for that.”
“You’ve known each other since high school.”
“But only been dating for a few months. We’re still in the sexy honeymoon phase, Basil,” she says with a wink. My cheeks heat up, Baz is obviously unimpressed, and Fiona looks very smug. I feel like I’m intruding on a much larger conversation.
“Fiona,” Baz sighs, “please, just go see your boyfriend. Come back tomorrow.”
She sighs over dramatically. “Fine. Leave my kitchen and living room in working order by the time I come back, please.”
Baz sighs in the exact same way. “Yes, of course, now go!”
Fiona walks past me, patting my shoulder as she goes. “Nice meeting you, Simon. Have fun.” Her nails dig into my skin for a brief moment. Not enough to really hurt but enough to sting. I don’t think she likes me that much...
Baz physically pushes Fiona out the door. She flips him off. He groans and gestures me inside. “Sorry about that. Come in, come in. I’ve almost got supper ready.”
I follow in after him, unzipping my hoodie, since this fancy place is certainly well heated. “It’s fine, man. I didn’t know you lived with your Aunt.”
“Yeah, sorry, never came up. She lives close to campus so it was easier to just take her extra room instead of trying to find another place. And I think my parents want her to spy on me for them.”
I chuckle as I kick off my trainers. “And how is that working out? She didn’t strike me as someone who would tattle to your parents.”
Baz’s lip pulls up into a smirk. “Well, she likes to be a shit and pretend she’ll tell them about my activities. But at the same time, she let me smoke half her joint last night while we watched Monty Python and ate peanut butter from the jar.”
“Oh my god,” I giggle. “That sounds amazing!’
“It certainly was. Now come on, I’m starved.”
We walk down the short hall into the actual apartment. I have to stop myself from gasping. The whole place is kinda intimidating but cool. It’s like what you see in catalogues. All white walls, modern furniture, and large bay windows with a view of the steel and brick horizon. Though there’s also enough personality to it to show that two people live here. There's lots of photos on the walls of Baz and Fiona and people who look enough like them to be relatives. Some old books are spread out on the coffee table, with lots of sticky notes on the pages in Baz's wispy handwriting. And next to the volumes are rolling papers I can safely assume are Fiona’s. Looks like a fun place to live.
“Just nearly burned supper, goodness,” Baz chuckles.
I follow his voice into the kitchen. It’s all white with fancy high tech chrome appliances. Baz is bending over the oven, making the denim stretch across his arse. I blush and avoid looking. The memory of...that part of his anatomy is still burned into my brain. It never goes away, just fades and pops back up at literally the worst possible moments. Like late at night, persuading my hand to “accidentally” slip into my pants. Or right now, when I really can’t let my hand go anywhere to relieve the heat he makes in my stomach. Fuck, my head hurts.
“Perfect,” Baz says cheerily. “Cooked all the way through.” He pulls out a pan with two herb covered chicken breasts and oily asparagus stalks. He opens the pot on top of the stove. It’s filled with absolutely divine tomato sauce. My eyes get very wide.
“Wow,” I gasp. “When you said you were making supper, I thought you meant boxed pasta or some shit.”
Baz smiles smugly. “I’m classier than that, Salisbury.”
His smirk makes my stomach even hotter. I shrug. “Guess I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“Damn right. Now go sit down, I’ll bring the plates out in a second.”
He gestures to the large glass dining table near the window. There’s two rich crimson placemats across from each other, twin wine glasses already filled. The lights are low, matching the setting sun. Everything is soft orange, red, and violet. It’s really nice. This is the fanciest supper set up I've ever seen. And Baz did it for me. He's so nice. My knees wobble a bit as I take my chair. Baz soon comes out with two full plates.
“Dinner is served,” he announces grandly, placing the food in front of me. It’s chicken, asparagus, and some unfamiliar rice dish. It’s got lentils, fried onions, chickpeas, macaroni noodles, and that amazing tomato sauce all on top. My mouth immediately starts watering.
“Thank you,” I reply as he sits down. I wait for him to unfold his napkin and everything to be polite. Mum taught me that. But it’s hard. I really want to eat.
Baz gives me an amused look. “Dig in, Snow, I can see you salivating all the way from over here.”
I roll my eyes, but still grab my utensils. “Shut up.” I put a large forkful of rice in my mouth, and it’s a flavour explosion. My tastebuds are singing with joy. I’ve never had something this good. I start shovelling huge bites in, making Baz snort with laughter.
“You like it?” he asks with amusement.
“Uh, fuck yeah! What is this, ambrosia?”
Baz chuckles and shakes his head, “No, just some good spices. That’s called koshari. It’s a very famous dish in Egypt. I’m half Egyptian, so I wanted to try to make it. Connect to my heritage and all.”
I try to smile, but my mouth is partially filled with koshari, so it’s difficult. “That’s awesome. Like, it’s really cool you’ve got that connection to your culture and stuff. Plus it’s just like super delicious.”
He half smiles, lifting his wine glass like a true gentleman, “The chef appreciates your compliments.”
I lift my own and clink our cups together. Like we’re fancy or something. “You’re very welcome.”
We trade easy conversation as we eat. Baz has completely caught up in his classes. Actually, he’s probably ahead. He’s incredibly smart so I’m not surprised. I’m getting better at paying attention in class. Penny gave me a fidget spinner, which I think was supposed to be a joke, but it’s actually helped me channel some of that restless energy. Plus I’m just super interested in our therapy unit. It’s what I study social work for, to help people. Baz calls me exceedingly noble. From his small smile, I assume it’s a compliment.
Once dinner is finished, we put our plates in the sink. I try to start washing but Baz slaps my hand away.
“None of that,” he says resolutely. “I’ll do it later.”
I put my hands in my pockets. I know there’s no point in arguing with him, amazing stubborn bastard. “Alright. What should we do? I don’t really feel like going home yet.”
A strange look crosses over his face. Both nervous and excited maybe? It’s so fleeting I can’t tell before it’s gone. He nods slowly. “Want to watch a movie? I’ve got Fiona’s Netflix account.”
“Yeah sure. Sounds good.”
We walk over to Fiona’s pristine white couch. I flop down while Baz sits properly, ankles crossed, straight back, hands in his lap. Jeez, he can still be so uptight sometimes. He flips down his glasses, probably so he can actually see the TV. Fuck, they really do look good on him. I have to make an effort not to stare.
“What should we watch?” I ask. “Horror? Comedy? Drama?”
Baz shrugs. “Well, I only watch documentaries, which you’d probably find very boring. So I leave the choice up to you, Salisbury.” He hands me the remote like a gentleman offering a bouquet. I take it graciously.
“Oh thank you kind sir,” I say in my poshest accent. Baz rolls his eye and chuckles.
I flip through Netflix for a little while. Well, Baz wasn’t lying about only watching documentaries. All his recently watched are movies about forests and wars and violinists. Bo-ring! I go to the romcom section, because I love stupid tropey shit. Penny calls me a hopeless romantic. I just like that everything works out in the end. Real life isn’t usually like that. It’s nice to pretend. So I pick “Notting Hill”. It’s one my favourites.
“Dear Lord,” Baz mutters part way in, “what is this?”
“It’s a rom com,” I reply.
“So, I’m supposed to believe that a movie star just happens to wander into this guy’s store? And she kisses him impulsively? Seriously?”
I playfully smack his arm. Wow, his hands are rough, his arms are smoother than sea glass. “It’s not supposed to be realistic, it’s supposed to be fun.”
He snorts. “Well, all I can focus on is the plot holes.”
I sigh. My head, heavy from food drowsiness, lolls to my right. It takes me a bit too long to realise it’s fallen on Baz’s shoulder. Shit, didn’t mean to do that. He’s incredibly tense, every muscle pulled tight. I nearly move off, but then he relaxes. His legs uncross, and his hands fall to beside his sides. So, I guess this is okay. And his shoulder, despite it’s boney-ness, is actually really comfy. Yeah. this is cool. I’ll just stay here.
The movie keeps going, but it kind of falls to background noise for me. I know it off by heart anyway. I’m more focused on other things for some reason. Like the feel of Baz’s soft shirt on my cheek. Or that his whole jean covered leg is pressed against mine. Or how close his rough farmer-violist hand is to mine. I’ve only held it a couple times, and only loosely. I do wonder...
Before thinking about it too much, I reach over and grab his hand. Baz inhales sharply through his nose, but he doesn’t pull away. Our hands rest together. We stay like that for awhile. Watching the movie, just casually holding hands. Normal friend stuff. His skin is still as scratchy as I remember, creating sparks of sensation all over my palm. And his fingers are quite long. Pianist fingers, I think that’s the term. They’re nice. I like his hand. I like holding it.
Eventually, I lift my head up, and my eyes flick over to him. I just want to see if he’s enjoying the movie. Holy shit, he’s looking back. His grey eyes are staring right at me. It almost feels like he’s looking through me they’re so piercing. It makes me shudder involuntarily. His eye move lower, to... Wait is he looking at my-
And then he kisses me.
Holy shit. A guy is kissing me. More importantly, Baz is kissing me. His face is so close to mine, black hair falling around us, glasses pushing against my nose. Baz’s lips are smooth, soft, and kinda cold. Well, not cold, just chilly, like an ocean breeze. It feels nice. His kiss feels nice. Oh my god, I’m musing about a guy kissing me, about how much I like it. What the hell?!
Our mouths are still, just pressed together chastely. Like we're a pair of awkward pre-teends having out first kiss. But really I’m too stunned to move. Then Baz pulls away slightly. His eyes are a bit glassy and his breathing is unsteady. “Is this okay?” he whispers.
That’s a really good fucking question. Am I okay with this? My lips are still tingling, and my pulse is hammering in my ears. Every fibre in my body is screaming at me to get close to him again. I nod. “Yeah,” I reply breathlessly, “yeah, it’s okay.”
Baz smirks, pushing his glasses on top of his head before kissing me again. He’s less hesitant this time, moving his mouth more insistently and curling his long fingers around my nape. I try to match his pace, try to pull him closer too, clutching his shirt in tight fists. I just want him so close. I let out an involuntary moan when his nails prick my skin. The slight sting makes everything go spinny. My mouth falls open, and I moan again as his tongue slowly slides across mine. Holy shit, why does this feel so much better than any kiss I’ve had before? I’ve only snogged a few of people, so it’s not like I’ve got a ton of experience, but I’ve got enough. And this is by far the best snog I’ve ever had.
I don’t even realise I’ve been leaning back until I’m laying down with Baz over me. He’s got one hand in my hair, the other trailing along my side, and a leg between mine. I’m holding his hips, dangerously close to going under his shirt. I really want to feel those muscles I saw in the changeroom, but I don’t want to do anything like that without Baz’s permission. Consent is necessary and all. But suddenly, without even moving off my mouth, Baz grabs my wrist and shoves my hand right under his shirt. Okay, pretty damn sure that’s consent. I trace the ridges and planes of muscle in his back, memorising the how ridiculously good they feel. He groans into my mouth. It makes my whole body shudder. And I full on gasp when he grinds his knee between my legs. My whole brain fucking explodes. Oh man, I am certainly “reacting” very, very strongly right now.
Through all the arousal haze, I wonder if this, what we’re doing, means I’m gay. But I don’t want to kiss Baz because he’s a guy. I want to kiss Baz because he’s Baz. Because he’s nice and funny and watched Doctor Who for me. And sure, he’s also really pretty with his wavy black hair and deep sea eyes. But anyone would notice that. I’ve noticed that other guys are pretty before. I can be straight and observant, right? I don’t know. It’s all too confusing to think about now. I just want to keep holding Baz. I have to do that.
Fuck, how long has he wanted this? How long have I wanted this? I would say I didn’t, but then why are a list of things I want to do to Baz? Like this; I push a hand into his hair. The strands are soft, slipping through my fingers, just like I thought. I clench my fist and shove his face more into mine.
Suddenly, Baz pulls off my mouth.
“Sorry,” I say (I’m out of breath it’s embarrassing.)
“No, no, don’t be sorry. Just,” he takes a breath, “want to continue this somewhere more comfortable?”
I’m panting very hard, but so is he. His face is flushed, eyes half lidded, lips swollen and wet. He looks fucking hot. My whole body is vibrating with energy. I want to pull him down and kiss him until our mouths are sore. And well, this couch is a bit small to stay here for that long. So I nod. “Sure, sounds good.”
Baz grins, showing all his bright white teeth. “Wonderful.”
He climbs off me. His legs are shaky, but when I stand up, mine are too. Baz turns off the telly and takes my hand, leading me down the narrow hall towards a room. Once we enter, it’s very obvious that this is Baz’s room. It’s extremely neat because of course Baz is a clean freak. But the desk is covered in a mess of books and sheet music. His violin case sits in the corner. I wonder if I’ll ever hear him play.
We stop in front of the large bed. His sheets are all black, and they look like silk. Well, that's definitely more comfortable than the couch. Baz turns towards me. His face is lit up by the setting sun, skin glowing perfectly in the fiery light. Wow, he’s somehow even prettier right now. But, is he nervous? He’s chewing on his lip, and the hand I’m not holding keeps flexing. I guess he is. Huh, I haven’t seen him anxious since the W Wood. And right now he’s much worse.
“So,” he says, clearing his throat a bit, “how far do you want to go? We could just keep snogging, that’s fine with me. Or we could do more. Whatever you feel like, I’ll be fine with.”
Fucking hell he’s so considerate. It makes my heart speed up, for some reason. But, what do I want? I want to touch him, to kiss him a lot. For him to kiss me and touch me too. Maybe in places other than my lips. Actually, fuck "maybe", I desperately want that, the need itching under every part of my skin. Even though I've never wanted a guy to do that before. Even though I’m straight. I’m trying not to think too much about those contradictions and focus on how good kissing him felt. I really don’t need a headache at this time.
“I-I’m good for anything.” Wait no, not right. “But not ‘all the way’, though. I don’t think I’m prepared for that, in every sense of the word.”
Baz chuckles, his other hand grabbing mine. “That’s fine, no worries. Neither am I, to be honest. But there’s lots of other stuff we can do.”
I look down at the floor, stomach twisting terribly with nerves. “Um, if I’m being honest, Baz, I, uh, have no clue what to do. I’ve never done this before, with a guy.”
He doesn’t say anything. I expected him to laugh, to tease me at least a bit, but instead I feel his rough pianist finger knock up my chin. His mouth is soft, and his eyes are kind and understanding. Why are my knees so weak? “It’s okay, you don’t have to be nervous. We can try things, but you can absolutely stop me if I you want to, alright?” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, taking a moment to trace my jaw with a single callused fingertip. “I’ll take care of you, Simon.”
Bloody Hell, I’m not sure I have knees anymore now.
We lean forward simultaneously, lips instantly moulding together like we’ve been kissing forever. It feels so fucking good that I barely notice him pushing up my shirt. He pulls away when he reaches my arms. His face asks the silent question, and I nod in reply. He pulls the shirt over my head and tosses it to the side. I push at the hem of his. He happily helps me get it off, whipping it on the floor. My hands instantly go to his bare torso and chest. I try to touch all of it. Stomach, chest, shoulders, everything. I feel every bit of smooth skin and sharp angle, and they’re just as wonderful as I imagined.
“You’re actually perfect,” I murmur.
Baz smirks. He clenches his stomach, showing off his stupid perfect abs. I can’t suppress the squeak that pops out of my mouth.
“Why thank you,” he drawls sarcastically. I scoff, hoping it makes up for my red cheeks. He slowly runs his hand over my bare side the across my stomach. My whole body feels electric. I shiver and sigh. “You’re pretty damn amazing yourself, Snow.”
I attempt to laugh off my embarrassment. “T-Thanks.”
He kisses me softly again, arms winding around my neck. I hold his waist tightly. I nearly pull him over as Baz spins me around and pushes me on the bed. He stands over me, cupping my cheeks as we keep kissing. Soon he breaks away and starts trailing his cool lips slowly down my neck. It feels so good my eyes roll back in my head. I fall back on the mattress, propped up on my elbows, legs still hanging off the edge. He goes further and further. Across my collarbone, down my sternum and stomach, until he reaches just above my trouser waistband. Baz looks up from where he’s kneeling between my legs, eyes so dark I can only see the smallest ring of grey, and places a tentative hand over the button.
“May I?” he asks breathlessly.
I’m gripping the sheet so hard my knuckles are white. I can’t tell if it’s from nervousness or anticipation. Probably both. I know what he means. I know what he wants to do. Part of me is still confused by my own desire, but a louder part is only thinking in sex. In “yes, yes, please, more, do it.” And it’s a lot louder.
“Yeah,” I say, falling fully onto my back, "you can.”
I lay there, staring at the blemish free white ceiling, breathing harshly, just waiting. Everything is quiet. The only sound is the distant honks from far below and my own clamorous heartbeat. Baz doesn’t do anything for awhile and I start to think if I fucked up somehow. Am I too eager? Has he changed his mind? Is this all one big stupid mistake?
But then he pulls my pants down and takes me in his mouth. Then, well, I’m not thinking very much at all anymore.
———————————————-
I roll off Baz and flop next to him on his bed. We’re both panting and sweating and a bit sticky, bare bodies glistening in the city lights. It’s very dark out now. The sun set awhile ago. I manage to twist my still dizzy head to look at the digital clock on the nightstand. Holy shit, we just spent over two hours having sex. My muscles are totally dead, throbbing with blissful exhaustion.
And it hits me, again: I just had sex with Baz, with a guy, and I really, really liked it.
So does this mean I'm gay? But I liked it because it was Baz, not because it was a guy. He was so patient, so attentive, pushing just enough to get me to try new things but never so far that I was uncomfortable. I'm still unbelievably confused, but mostly just really fucking satisfied.
“Wow,” I say, voice raw and scratchy. “That was just, wow.”
Baz tries to chuckle, but his voice isn't much better than mine. “Had fun, Snow?”
“Uh, yeah! That was like the best sex I’ve ever had.” It’s only after the words burst out do I realise how fucking embarrassing that sounds. Baz laughs, of course. I cover my burning face. “I’ll shut up now,” I groan.
“Oh don’t be embarrassed, darling.” Baz peels my hands off, grinning face now hovering over mine. I can feel his foot pressed to my bare calf. He kisses my knuckles lightly. A thousand butterflies take off in my stomach. “It was really good for me too.”
His face is shiny with sweat, wavy hair all tangled because I kept pulling it (not that he complained). The city light dances across his skin perfectly. There’s a lot more butterflies flying now. I cup the back of his head and pull his mouth down to mine. I just want to be closer to him right now. It’s not urgent like before. It’s simply a lazy slide of our tired mouths, a calm way to end the frantic evening.
Baz pulls back slowly. His breath tickles my face. Then he collapses on top of me, face buried in the crook of my neck. I snort out a laugh I can’t help. He’s just too adorable.
“You tired, Basilton?” I tease.
“Shut up,” he grumbles. “And don’t use my full name. Only my family does that.”
“But it’s so funny! Your name is fucking Basilton Grimm-Pitch. You sound like an Edgar Allan Poe character.”
He chuckles against my skin. “Then you’ll love my first name.”
My heart does double time. I look down at him as best I can. “What the hell is your first name?!”
I feel his shit eating grin on my collarbone. “A man is allowed to have a few secrets, Snow.”
Damn, I really want to throttle the smug perfect bastard. He groans as pushes himself off me, slowly rolling onto his back then sitting upright, legs hanging off the edge. He stretches his arms to the sky, showing the grand muscular expanse of his back. (There are a lot of angry red scratches from my nails. Fuck, I was really into it.)
“I don’t know about you,” he yawns, “but I’m completely knackered. I’m brushing my teeth and going to bed.” His head turns halfway, showing just one eye, gaze slightly unsteady. Is he nervous again. “You want to stay? It’s alright if you don’t.”
Honestly, I’m not sure my muscles are strong enough right now to get me home. Even so, I do want to go. So I nod. “Yeah, I’ll stay.”
His mouth quirks up. “Good.”
Baz slips on his boxers and hands me mine. He leads me to the washroom. It’s huge and pristine and white of course. Baz gives me a fresh toothbrush, which is really thoughtful, because he’s really thoughtful. The vain bastard keeps hogging the mirror though. Once we’re done with our teeth, we go back to the bedroom and Baz takes out his posh red silk pyjamas. He tries to offer me a pair but I’m fine with an oversized t-shirt that looks totally unworn.
“That thing?” Baz says slightly disgusted. “I got that from the overeager poet’s society back at Oxford.”
Huh, makes sense. It does have a Byron joke on it. I shrug. “Eh, it’s fine. Kinda funny too.”
Baz waves dismissively. “Very well. You can keep it if you want. I’m not going to wear it.”
I pull at the hem. Well, if he’s offering, sure. It’s really comfy. And or some reason, I sort of like the idea of keeping this shirt. Keeping Baz’s clothes...it’s just sorta nice.
I flop down on the silk sheets and immediately sink into the comfy mattress. It’s like a goddamn smooth cloud. I’m already drifting off into dreamland when Baz lays next to me. He pulls the quilt over us. Distantly, I feel his long arm drape across my waist and his body curl around mine. His breath hits the back of my neck, almost immediately evening out in sleep. I instinctively snuggle closer, because he feels good. This whole night has felt good. Maybe I should just focus on that instead of the storm in my brain. Yeah, I’m fine with that.
———————————————-
I’m waiting for Baz at Goat while trying to do my readings. He meets me after class, then we have lunch and talk. We’ve been hanging out a lot more on campus the past three weeks, ever since I slept over. I do that a lot more too, actually. I go to his place at least once a week, usually more. Sometimes we just eat supper, maybe watch a movie, then fall asleep in Baz’s bed. Other times we use the bed for...other things.
I’m still straight though. That's still how I think of my self. I just also like this, whatever it is. It’s a sorta weird but awesome friends with benefits thing. I think. We haven’t really defined it. But whatever. We’re having fun. Who needs labels?
“Hello, love.” Baz’s hand is a comfortable weight on my shoulder. He bends around the back of the chair and kisses me. It’s just a short, sweet greeting kiss. He does this a lot now. I like it. I smile against his mouth.
“Hi,” I reply as he sits down across from me. “How was class?”
Baz stretches out his hand. “Well, my fingers hurt, so very good. How was your’s?”
I lift up my heavy textbook. “Professor Blowhard assigned extra readings again, of course. Does he realise we have lives outside of class?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t care, obviously. Because he's a dickhead.”
“Damn right. I need scones to feel better.”
Baz rolls his eyes. “Of course you do. Ebb already getting our food ready?”
“Ebb’s finished your food.” I jolt slightly. When did Ebb get here? Did she manifest out of thin air? She holds two plates with our usuals. A latte, sour cherry scone, and grilled cheese with tomato and spinach for me. (Baz suggested I try the last one, so Ebb made it, and it’s really good.) And a fancy turkey-pesto panini and pumpkin mocha breve for Baz.
Baz smiles up at her. He’s gotten very friendly with her. “Good day, Ebb. How’s it going?”
Ebb shrugs. “Pretty okay. I sort of want some new dishware but I’m not sure I have the funds for it.”
“Well, Christmas is coming up. Maybe I’ll keep that in mind.”
Ebb laughs and ruffles Baz’s already messy hair. She’s very friendly with him by now. “Aw, you don’t have to do that, Baz. Sweet of you to say though. He’s certainly a keeper, Si.”
She winks at me before sauntering off. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. I flick my eyes over to Baz. He’s taking a sip from his overly large coffee cup. When he lowers it, there’s whipped cream on the tip of his long nose. I snort and giggle. Baz’s brow furrows.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, actually genuinely concerned. He’s always very concerned about his appearance. It’s funny, and kind of cute.
I reach out and use one finger to swipe the whipped cream off. His nose scrunches like an adorable child. I hold it for him to see.
“You’re making a mess,” I tease, then lick my finger. Baz’s eye go wide, and he might blush. It’s hard to tell sometimes, what with his complexion and being emotional display repulsed British gentry. I’m not sure why though. I just don’t like wasting food.
“Christ, Simon,” he chuckles, shaking his head. His eyes flick up to mine and he smirks. That expression makes my stomach do a lot of funny things. “Like you’re one to talk about messes," he says. "My kitchen is still recovering from your pizza debacle.”
“It turned out to be good frozen pizza though.”
“Yes, at the sacrifice of a clean oven.”
I shrug, reaching my foot out to tap his for emphasis. “I’ll destroy my own next time, alright?”
He goes a step further, tracing the toe of his Oxford on my bare ankle. It makes me jolt, but in a good way. Baz seems to have that effect on me.
“Hm, y’know, I haven’t been to your place yet. Invite me over for oven destroying pizza sometime?” His voice is smooth as butter. It makes my legs feel weak, even though I’m already sitting down. And he’s right, he hasn’t been over yet. It’s not because of anything, his place has always just been easier. That should be corrected.
“Yeah, sure,” I chirp, “I’d like that. Though my flatmate might interrogate you. She still isn’t sure she approves of you.”
Baz shrugs dismissively. “Understood. But I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’ll warm up to me. I’m very likable.”
I scoff. “And full of yourself.”
He pushes his foot until it’s fully under my jean cuff. I yelp in surprise. “Got you to like me, didn’t I?”
Shit, why is my face so flushed? I try to use my book to cover it, but my eyes peek out over the top. Baz is still smirking, still slowly moving his shoe up and down my skin. It’s sort of hard to say no when he’s doing that. Bastard. “That’s true, I suppose,” I say shakily.
“Exactly.” He leans forward on the table, chin cradled in his palm. “Want to come over tonight? Fiona’s at Nicky’s again. Those two need to just move in together already.”
“Yeah, agreed. And I can come over as long as you help me revise for a midterm.”
“Very well,” he sighs dramatically. “If that’s the price I must pay for a good shag.”
And I thought my blush couldn’t get any worse. I use a hand to cover my bright red face. “Baz,” I giggle, “shut up.”
He chuckles and slowly peels my hand away. I’ve found his violin calluses feel weirdly wonderful on my skin. “I’ll help you, love, don’t worry.”
Fuck, he’s always so nice. Just so kind and helpful and fun to be around. He’s like Penny, I guess, but our dynamic doesn’t feel like me and Penny. Not better, just different. My heart and stomach don’t feel twisty around her. And I definitely don’t want to snog Pen silly. Baz is just different. Whatever we have is different. I don’t know what it is, but I like it. And I certainly don’t want to stop.
———————————————-
A week later, Baz is scheduled to come over. I’m trying to salvage my stupid homemade stupid pizza when there’s a knock at the door. I run over still wearing the apron and oven mitts as I open it. Baz is standing on the other side, gym/overnight bag slung over his shoulder. He blinks at me confused, eyes big behind his glasses. (He’s been wearing them more. That's good. He looks amazing, and he needs to see.)
“Hi,” I say breathlessly, kissing him hello by habit.
“Good evening, Snow,” he says. “Nice apron.”
I look down. Right, this is Pen’s “Snog the Chef” apron. Micah sent it to her as a joke. He made the false assumption she cooks enough to need one. Both of us usually cook from a box or order take away. I chuckle.
“Uh, yeah. Still trying to make supper. Come in, come in.”
I race back to the kitchen, leaving Baz in the living room. I can still see him through a small square space in the wall. (The previous tenant had a thing for cutting random holes in the wall.) He scans the room, taking in his surroundings.
“Hm,” he says thoughtfully. “Nice place.”
I laugh loudly so he can hear me. “You don’t have to be nice, y’know. I’m aware it’s gross. I tried to clean a bit.”
“I’m serious, it’s nice. Love all the Polaroid pictures. Is this blonde girl your roommate?”
“Uh, no, that’s Agatha. The other girl, Penelope, she’s my flatmate. We all went to high school together.”
“I see, that’s nice. You all look happy.”
I lean out the weird window hole. Baz is looking at the picture from the summer, when we all went to Agatha’s family beach house. I smile. That was a happy time.
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Summer before final year. Can’t tell Agatha was about to break up with me a few weeks later, huh?”
It’s a joke, but I immediately regret it. Baz tenses up. Shit, that’s a serious topic, and I shouldn’t talk about Agatha like that.
“There’s no bad blood though,” I say quickly. “Like, it sucked when we split up but it was for the best in the end. We’re way better as friends. She lives in California now. She skypes me and Pen a lot, tells us all about America and shit. I sent her a British flag for Christmas last year, and she sent me a California one.” I sigh, shaking my head. “I’m babbling, sorry, I’ll stop.”
Baz turns his head. He’s smiling, no anger or disappointment, thank God. “It’s fine, love, don’t worry. She sounds lovely. I’m not jealous. Unless I have a reason to be.”
His raised eyebrows and toothy grin tells me he’s joking. I chuckle. Why would he have a reason to be jealous anyway? I mean, Agatha’s pretty, but so is he. “No, you definitely have no reason. Maybe I’ll introduce you two sometime. You can compare expensive hair products.”
“Hey, you like my hair.”
“Yeah, but I’ve also seen how many bottles you have in your shower. And how many bottles did you bring with you tonight?”
Baz doesn’t answer. I snicker as I pull my pizza out of the oven. Well, it’s not much of a pizza anymore. Sort of a dough, cheese, and sauce liquid mess in a pan. I groan and lean my head on the cupboard over the oven.
“Trouble with supper, love?”
I look up. Baz is leaning in the window hole, arms crossed over the sill and head on his bent elbow. He looks nice like this, relaxed and all. Huh, he really is a lot less uptight than he was two months ago. That’s good, I suppose. I smile weakly.
“I think this pizza is even more of a disaster than the last one. And this time it’s completely inedible.”
He frowns sarcastically. “Aw, what a surprise.”
I take a mitt off and throw it at his stupid smug pretty face. “Fuck off, I tried!”
Baz doesn’t looked fazed by the glove projectile, just holding it as he smiles. “I know, darling, and you did your best. Now, shall I order take away?”
I sigh, shaking off the other mitt so they lay in a messy pile on the counter. “I guess so. But I’m paying for it. I was supposed to make you a nice supper, I should at least pay for the substitute.”
“Well, I certainly have no problem with that.”
I turn off the oven and take off the dumb apron. With heavy steps and hanging head, I go into the living room. Baz immediately reaches out and pulls me against him, hugging me close. I wrap my arms around his firm back, easily sinking into his embrace. He smells nice. Like cedar and bergamot, I think.
“Want to watch a movie?” he whispers, breath tickling my ear.
“Sure,” I mumble into his shoulder. “Do you like Pixar?”
He chuckles. It’s a really nice sound, washing over me like a warm, relaxing wave. “Yeah. Pixar is wonderful.”
We don’t move for a bit though. We just stay there, hugging in the middle of my living room. He’s a good hugger, so I don’t mind. I just close my eyes, breathe in his smell, and let his strong, firm arms hold me.
———————————————-
“Why does Buzz go still?” Baz asks. “He doesn’t think he’s a toy. Why would he pretend to be one when a person walks in?”
“Shhh.” I reach up to blindly hit his stupid smart arse mouth. “You’re ruining the movie.”
“I’m simply pointing out a flaw in the film’s plot.”
“Just shut up and watch, arsehole.”
Baz makes a displeased noise, but does thankfully shut up. Our half eaten take away pizza is still sitting on the coffee table. The sun has mostly set, the light of the telly the main source now. I’m junk food tired so I’ve ended up with my head in Baz’s lap. His legs are comfortable. And I like the way he strokes my hair. I could probably fall asleep like this if I wanted.
“Sorry again about supper,” I mumble into his thigh.
Baz hums softly, winding a finger around one of my curls. “It's fine, love. You made the effort, that's what counts. And I appreciate it.”
I hum, throwing an arm over his knees. “You’re nice.”
Bizarrely, he scoffs at that. “You’re the first person to say that, Snow. Most people say I’m rude and mean.”
“You're not, they're all wrong," I say immediately, almost angry for him.
He pauses for a moment, hand still in my hair. "You really think so?" he asks, voice slightly shaky.
"Yeah, of course. You tease me but you also made me supper and watched Doctor Who. That means a lot. You’re, like, snarky nice. Fuck, does that even make sense?”
Baz runs his thumb over the nape of my neck. “No, I get it. Thank you, darling, you’re incredibly sweet.” He brushes his long fingers against my ear. “Sometimes I wonder how I found you,” he sighs.
I chuckle, sound muffled by his trouser leg. “You ‘found me’ in a boring psych lecture, remember?”
“Yeah,” he whisper-laughs. “Glad I did though. Honestly...” He takes an audible breath, like he’s getting ready to jump off a cliff or something. “I think you’re the best thing to come out of moving to Watford.”
My mouth suddenly feels dry. And my heart is bruising my ribs it’s beating so hard. That was definitely one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. But it doesn’t feel like when Penny or Agatha or Mum are nice. It feels so...new. I wish there was a more eloquent word for it, for what I feel when he says something like that. It’s an all encompassing sensation I've never experienced before. Like a supernova in my brain and chest. I just can’t place it.
The end credit music starts playing. I turn my head back to the screen. “Oh hey, it’s done,” I say. “Wanna watch something else?”
I can’t see Baz’s face, but I feel him lean back against the sofa. “Sure. Anything in mind?”
“Actually, yeah, I've got something. You’ll like it.” I fumble for the remote, then start flipping through my Netflix list. I know it’s there... “Aha! This!” I highlight a movie I found yesterday. Baz leans forward with curiosity.
“A documentary on an Australian string quartet?” He chuckles. “Really?”
Shit, I thought he would like it because there are string instruments and stuff in it. But it’s not like every chef adores cooking shows. “S-Sorry, it was just an idea. We can watch something else.”
Baz puts an arm around my waist and squeezes my stomach tight. I immediately relax. “No, that wasn’t a discouragement. I’m very intrigued. I’m just surprised you’re offering to watch it. It’ll be quite dull for you.”
I shrug. “Eh, maybe. But you’ll like it, and I’m willing to try.”
Baz doesn’t answer. Well, not with words. His arm holds me even tighter, and he leans down to kiss my hair. His cool lips press lightly to my scalp. I can’t help the shudder it makes. When he pulls back, he goes back to to softly stroking my hair. I feel like I could melt into the couch.
“Put it on,” Baz sighs. “Try not to fall asleep, Snow.”
“I’ll do my best,” I say, meaning it genuinely.
So the movie is objectively boring for me, because I'm not a violin student, and I’m not a huge fan of documentaries period. But there are some good parts. I like the people, following their progression and lives and how their careers influence everything around them. Baz likes that too. Though he’s also fascinated by all the fancy instruments. I just think they’re all really pretty.
“Hey,” Baz asks, “where’s your flatmate?”
“Oh she’s-” The front door suddenly slams, making both of us jolt. A few footstep sounds later, Penny is standing right in front of us. “She’s right here. Hi, Pen.”
Penny is frozen. She blinks at us in complete silence for a few long seconds. I don’t know what’s so baffling. “Hi... What’s going on here?”
“Baz and I are watching a movie.” What’s going on with her? Pretty sure that was obvious.
She quirks an eyebrow. “So this is Baz?”
“Oh right.” I gesture to her. “Baz, this is Penelope Bunce.” I gesture to him. “Penny, this is Baz Grimm-Pitch.”
“Hello, Penelope," Baz says smoothly. "May I call you that?”
“Um, sure.”
“Wonderful. Pleasure to finally meet you.” He offers his hand like the gentleman he is.
Cautiously, Penny takes the handshake. “Same for me. Good to put a face to the name.”
“Likewise.”
Their hands fall. Penny has a weird expression on her face. Her eyes keep flicking between me and Baz, looking positively perplexed. I don’t get it. We’re just watching a movie. She said it was okay to bring Baz over, but it still must be weird for her to have someone new around. She doesn’t like new people. But Baz is going to be hanging around with me indefinitely, so they should probably get more comfortable with each other.
“Wanna watch and eat with us?” I ask. “Pizza is lukewarm but still good.”
She seems even more confused, head pulling back and mouth twisting for a moment. “Uh, sure, if that’s alright with both of you.” She looks pointedly at Baz.
“It’s perfectly fine with me. Snow’s the one taking up the entire sofa.”
I scoff and smack his knee. “Fuck off.” I swing my legs dramatically, putting myself upright. It makes my vision spin a bit, so I fall against Baz, head on his shoulder. I don’t think he minds though. “There, happy?”
He chuckles and throws an arm around me, pulling us even closer together. “Positively elated, Snow.” He presses a sloppy wet kiss to my cheek. I make a disgusted noise as I wipe it off.
“Arsehole.” I kiss his cheek too. Fair’s fair. I look up, and Penny’s eyes are incredibly wide. I gesture at her. “C’mon, Pen, there’s room now.”
She sighs and shakes her head. “Alright then."
She sits down, but closer to the other end. Weird. I try to make more room, putting my legs over Baz’s, pressing against him. But she doesn’t move any closer. Actually, she moves further away. Weird, but I get wanting your own space. She is watching the movie intently though.
“This is good,” she says through her pizza. “That violin is incredible.”
“It’s called the Gibson ex-Huberman Stradivarius,” Baz interjects. “Made by Antonio Stradivari of Cremona in 1713. Many say his string instruments are the greatest ever made. He’s estimated to have made 960 violins, 650 of which are still around. What I wouldn’t give to play a Stradivarius.”
“Right," Penny chuckles. "Simon said you were a violinist.”
“Yup, he is,” I say. “Which makes him a total music nerd.”
Baz flicks my far ear then kisses the other. “Says the Doctor Who nerd. And not just music. I enjoy history and English language too.”
“Hey, so does Penny! She never shuts up about that book about working people.”
“‘The Making of The English Working Class’ by EP Thompson, Si,” Penny says with some exasperation. “It’s an interesting read.”
Baz makes a contemplative sound. He’s good at those. “I’ll have to look it up. Shall we compare notes sometime?”
Penny turns her head. She seems to be examining Baz over her spectacles, brown eyes moving up and down over him. She does that a lot, examines people, like me the first day we met all those years ago. She’s assessing him, figuring out whether he’s worth her time. She decided I was. I can only hope she likes him
“I’ll think about it,” she says.
I breathe out a small sigh of relief. They get along, thank God. Neither of them notice the sigh, but they do notice the loud yawn I can’t help afterwards.
“Tired, Snow?” Baz teases.
“No,” I grumble. I rub my aching eye, which doesn’t help my case.
Baz sighs, then shoves off my legs and stands over me, all tall and looming and handsome. He offers his hand. “Then let’s go to bed. I have an early class tomorrow anyway.”
“Okay.” I take his hand and he hoists me to my feet. I’m a bit wobbly, but Baz keeps me steady with an arm around my waist. Damn, I’m tired. “Can you put away the pizza, Pen? I’ll clean up the rest in the morning.”
“Yeah, sure thing,” she says absentmindedly, already flipping to her own show.
“G’night, Pen.”
“Night Si. And Baz.”
“Goodnight, Penelope. Lovely to meet you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
I sigh again, because she sounds genuine, and I don’t need two of my best friends feuding. There’s no need for unnecessary drama.
Baz and I wash up quickly. (He hogs the mirror again.) I throw on my usual baggy shirt and sweats. I assumed he brought his ridiculous posh silk pyjamas, but to my surprise he takes one of my Watford sweatshirts and a matching set of grey trackies. I look at him with utter amusement.
“Really?” I chuckle.
“I left my bag in the living room,” he says nonchalantly. “And I don’t feel like going to get it.” His pretty face become nervous for a moment, looking down at the hardwood floor. “Is it alright?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” I curl my fingers in his elastic waistband, making him stumble closer. “You look good. You should wear my clothes more often.”
He chuckles, leaning down to capture my lips. I sigh and melt into it. Baz holds my face, slowly running his finger over my cheek. I encircle his waist. Warmth spreads from my mouth and through my entire body. Damn. No matter how brief or how long, how fast or slow, Baz's kisses are always pretty damn great.
He pulls back slightly, leaving the smallest space between us. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he whispers against my skin. “Come on, now. I’m tired and so are you. Let’s sleep.”
I yawn right on cue. “Yeah, sounds good.”
Baz pulls me towards the bed. He lays down first, putting his glasses on the nightstand, and I follow, head pillowed on his strong chest. His arms wrap around me tightly. I like when he does that. Baz always makes me feel better just by holding me. How the hell does that work? Why does he feel so unlike any friend I've had before? I don't know. And I don't care, so long as he just keeps holding me.
“Night,” I mumble.
“Night, love,” he sighs.
I drift off with his left hand in my hair, his right tracing circles on my back, and his heartbeat right under my ear.
———————————————-
“Snow? Snow. Simon.”
I groan at the voice disturbing the my sleep. A rough, callused hand shakes my arm. Of course I know who it is, so I don’t even open my eyes.
“What?” I grumble
“I have to go,” Baz whispers. “I’ve got class until seven. Lunch at Goat tomorrow?”
“M-hm.”
“And are you still staying at my place Friday?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Did you understand anything I just said?”
I roll over, bleary eyes opening slightly. The dawn light doesn’t hurt my eyes too much. Baz is a blur of black, reddish-gold, and grey.
“Goat tomorrow, your flat Friday,” I mumble. “Got it.”
There’s white in the blur now, what I assume are his teeth in a wide grin. He leans forward. “Wonderful. See you later, darling.”
“Bye, love.”
He presses a kiss to my hairline. Even half asleep, I can feel his cool lips on my forehead and the smell of all his fancy products waft up my nose. I listen as his shoes click out the door.
I think I fall asleep again, because when I wake up it’s a lot brighter outside. I groan at the burning sunlight and bring the sheet over my head. I don’t have class until two so I don’t have to get up just yet. I just lay in bed, trying to block out the day. And under those sheets, it hits me that I called Baz ‘love’ for the first time. Huh. Guess his use of cute nicknames is rubbing off on me. It’s new, but so is a lot of stuff we’re doing, and I’ve like it all so far. I think I like this too.
My stomach growls like an angry lion. Guess that’s my cue to get up. I throw off my sheet and immediately shiver. Fuck, it’s chilly. I look over and see that Baz left my sweatshirt folded on my dresser, so I slip it on. I press it to my nose. It still sort of smells like him, a gorgeous mix of his cologne and fancy products. That makes me smile like an idiot, for whatever reason.
I saunter into the kitchen. Penny doesn’t have any class, so she’s sitting at the dining room table with a bunch of textbooks spread out. It’s like the school library threw up on it. The coffee in the pot is old, but I don’t feel like making a new one. So I pour it out and put it in the microwave.
“That’s disgusting, Si,” Penny sing songs.
“Shut up, Pen,” I reply with my most chipper voice. The microwave beeps. I drink from the mug and promptly spit the whole thing out in the sink. Oh Christ, it is disgusting.
“Told you so.”
I glare at her through the kitchen wall hole as I pour the coffee out. I start setting up the kettle for tea instead. Screw coffee. Baz says tea is better for you anyway.
“So,” she says very matter of factly, staring at me through our lovely wall hole, “Baz.”
She doesn’t continue. Nothing to explain what the fuck she’s talking about. She just looks at me with narrow eyes while twirling a pencil in her hand. I blink at her, silence hanging between us, and still nothing.
“Yeah, Baz,” I chuckle.
“You like him?”
“Uh, yeah. He’s cool.”
“Is he nice?”
“Yeah. Well, sorta.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Sort of?”
I shrug, scratching the back of my neck. “He’s nice in the important ways, y’know? Helps me out when I need it and treats me well. But he also teases me. In fun though. I tease him too, and I try to be nice. I hope he thinks I’m nice too.”
The kettle whistles. I get out my Adventure Time mug and a peppermint tea bag. When I look back at Penny, she’s twisting her lips, brow furrowed together, pencil tapping on the table rhythmically. That’s her concerned friend look. She always looks like this when I make a major life decision, or when I attempt cooking.
“And, you’re happy, right?” she asks carefully.
I blink at her in confusion again. That’s a weird question. I’ve been depressed before, sure, but I haven’t lately. So I’m not sure why Penny is concerned with my emotional state. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She chuckles and her concerned look goes away. That’s a relief. I don’t like making Penny worried. “Alright then. As long as you’re happy.”
“Okay,” I chuckle, laughing at the absurdity of this.“Fun talk, Pen. Enjoy studying.”
“Will do. Get to class on time!”
I scoff, walking towards my room with lovely steaming tea in hand. “If I got to class on time, I wouldn’t be Simon Snow Salisbury.”
Penny sighs with exasperation. Now that’s a sound I’ve heard since high school. It’s become weirdly comforting in a way. Penny’s always going to be a bit frustrated with me, and she still loves me anyway.
———————————————-
“Simon, what are you doing this weekend?”
I look up from my fancy grilled cheese, mouth still full. Baz has finished his panini and is now in his “villain position” again. One long leg over the other, bony elbows propped on his armrests, fingers pressed together. It’s still half intimidating-half badass. I swallow my food. Don’t want to be rude with him.
“This weekend?” I ask. “Uh, nothing. I don’t have anything planned. Why?”
He drums his fingers together slowly. Total Bond villain. “Well, I have a proposition for something we could do.”
That makes me put down my food and shift in my chair. “Oh?”
“Yes.” He leans forward, elbows on the table. “You see, my parents wanted me to come home for the whole break next week. But I couldn’t do that with my practice schedule. I still want to see them though, so I’m driving up for family dinner on Sunday.”
“Okay...”
“And the thing is...” He drums his fingers on the wooden table and chews at his lip. “I’ve mentioned you to them, and they’re wondering if you’d like to come up with me.”
I nearly drop my sandwich. I stare at Baz silently for an inappropriate amount of time. “Your parents," I say cautiously, "want me to come over for dinner?”
He nods slowly, face pinched together in nervousness. “Yes. They’re both eager to meet you, though they may not show it outwardly. But please, love, don’t feel pressured. I told them it might be too soon for this but they can be...insistent. It’s completely up to you though. They’ll survive if you say no.” He rubs his nose under his glasses. “Sorry, this is just a whole mess. I thought about not asking but I wanted to give you the choice.”
“O-Okay.” I nod, like a very slow moving bobble head. Wow, this is just a lot. I haven’t met a friend’s parents since Agatha. And we were dating, which made it very scary. This seems even scarier though. My heart is pulsing too fast. Fuck, why does this feel so intimidating?
Baz grabs my hand, thumb tracing the back of it. It immediately calms me down. “Don’t panic, love, no matter what decision you make I’ll understand. It’s not like we’ll stop speaking if you don’t come to dinner with my pushy, posh parents.” He squeezes my hand. “It’s up to you, love.”
Right, up to me... Fuck. Do I want to meet Baz’s posh family? Even though it’s scary? I mean, I guess it would be nice. They’re probably smart like Baz, cultured too, all that. It sounds intimidating, and it was with Baz at first, but I learned. And maybe I can learn with his family too. I'd like to know more about Baz, be part of another aspect of his life. That's what friends do, right?
“Okay,” I say, “I’d like to come.”
Baz’s eyebrows shoot up, his mouth falling open slightly. “Really?”
“Yeah. It sounds fun, and I’d like to meet your parents. If they’re anything like you, they’ll be posh, really smart, and weirdly nice.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Well, that’s one way to see them.”
I giggle too, leaning closer to him over the the small table. “Okay, good to know. Anything I should bring?”
“Well, Sunday nights are our ‘fancy dinners’, so we dress up. You’ll have to wear a suit.”
I frown. “I don’t own a suit.”
He nods like some thoughtful scholar. “Hm, alright. Well, I’ve got one you could borrow. Is that alright?”
“Sure. If it fits me, Mr. Tall and Lanky.” I poke his muscular shoulder for emphasis, making him laugh.
“You’re not that much shorter than me, don’t worry. So we’ll go up Sunday afternoon and leave Monday morning. I’ll certainly be drinking, so I don’t want to drive home the night of.”
“Very responsible, love, very responsible.”
Baz chuckles softly, and I do too. He looks me in the eye. All I see is kindness. Who the hell ever said he was an arsehole? He’s actually incredible.
“You sure you’re alright with this?” he asks, his voice still concerned.
I adjust our hands, so we’re smooth palm to scratchy palm, and smile as big as I can. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Baz smiles back. Not as big, but it’s still kind and calm. He leans forward and kisses my cheek, whispering in my ear. “Wonderful. Can’t wait.”
And weirdly enough, neither can I.
———————————————-
AN: So the documentary is real and called "Highly Strung", and the book Penny mentions is real too. Hope you all liked this. I like writing this fluffy definitely-not-a-relationship haha. Tomorrow, "adventure" :)
#carry on#snowbaz#simon snow#baz pitch#penelope bunce#university#no magic#human baz#oblivious simon#straight boy#mysnowbazfanfic
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Slice of Life[6]
[Andy]
“There have been some increasingly controversial topics in the news,” began Andy, in the milionth meeting they were holding that week, “and I know that not everyone here is in agreement with regard to personal beliefs. Though there is some merit to discussing these topics, I would encourage you to do so outside of work.
“So please,” he continued, “for the love of the old gods and the new, stop arguing about the last episode of Game of Thrones.”
“It was kind of bullshit though, right?” asked Jake, to murmurs of approval.
“I haven’t watched it yet,” complained Kevin.
“Spoiler,” said Jake, “it sucked.”
“Jake, please.”
“There was a shocking twist about Tyrion being the Night King.”
“Kevin, Jake may or may not be messing with you.”
“I did think the part where Eddard rose from the dead was a little out of left field, though.”
“Amy, please proceed with your presentation.”
Amy was standing in front of their conference room’s projector. Her long, dark brown hair was tied into a bun, and her usual Davis badminton jacket was replaced by a white button-up.
“Thanks Andy,” she said, relieved that the meeting was back under control, “as I was saying, this project is worth roughly 25.6 million dollars, collectively. As is the usual case, the largest defense contractors are going to take the majority of business.
“But this is where things get interesting. I’m going to have to be intentionally vague about the next portion of this, since we’re in a nonclassified setting, but we have certain...capabilities...that even some of the largest corporations don’t. Thanks to some wise decisions we made early last year with regard to our research allocations, we are actually the first team we know of that can use...”
Her voice trailed. “Well, that’s also classified. But the figures aren’t. Look at this.” The slide changed. “We are poised to become the government’s preferred vendor for the entire sensor, and all we have to do is give them a taste. They expect delivery within three weeks. For this to work, all teams have to collaborate perfectly.”
“It’s really important that we execute this now,” agreed Andy, “that means it’s really, vitally important that we not let our meetings diverge into arguments about petty bullshit.
“Kevin, we’d like a status report from you. What’s the important software issue you said you wanted everyone to know about?”
“I know we were told not to compile on the hardware,” began Kevin, “but unfortunately, with our system, it’s unavoidable. The time stamps are messed up, so doing basic things like compilation is surprisingly difficult.”
“Why not code it in Python?” suggested Jake. “that way you won’t need to compile it.”
“Wow,” said Dan, with mock amazement, “switch programming languages. Brilliant. This is the kind of empty-headed bullshit that only a hardware engineer would come up with.”
“Right,” Jake retorted, “because messed up time stamps is a hardware issue. Do you guys also give your system administrators mops, then give your janitors root access?”
“Switching to python actually isn’t a bad idea,” said Ryan, “but there’s a much more obvious solution to this problem. You can-”
“Hang on,” interrupted Dan, “care to repeat that comment about root access?”
“You guys don’t understand separation of duty,” said Jake.
“You guys don’t understand fuck about fuck,” said Dan.
The next half hour went about as productively as that conversation.
[Nora]
Saturday. It was a surprisingly clear morning, for San Francisco, and the sun was just starting to rise. Because it was San Francisco, though, the morning was ice cold.
Nora made her way up the steep trail of Mt. Davidson. Kevin said he knew every trail and angle at this place, and she believed him. The park was tiny. She reached the peak with ease. She glanced in the direction of the sun, then turned away to look at downtown in the distance. She could see the bay, and Castro, and a bunch of major downtown buildings until her view reached Sutro Mountain.
She pulled out her cell phone. “This is boring,” she told Kevin through the speaker.
“Did you know it’s the tallest hill in all of San Francisco?”
“Highest of the seven hills?”
“Sure.”
“What, because of the giant cross?”
“I admit that the giant cross is cheating, but the point still stands.”
“Not sure what the big deal is, to be honest. I’ve had a more fun time at Bernal Heights, and that place has some pretty good coffee.”
“Giant blue building.”
“What?”
“Find the spot where Balboa is, look a bit to the left, and you’ll see that giant blue building. It’s a water tower. We used to sneak up there, forever ago, when we were young.”
“Okay...”
“I used to love this city. It’s not the same now. Whenever I came back it was never the same, always a little different. So I started to come home every month, then every other month. The last time we spoke, it was my first time back in almost a year.”
“Well, what’s changed?”
“It’s just different.”
Nora looked at the tower, then at Kevin’s high school, then at the water again. From a distance, it was all tiny. Like none of it mattered.
“You used to love this city,” asked Nora, “and now you don’t because it’s changed?”
“Exactly. You took the words right out of my mouth.”
“So you believe that the city you once loved is gone. I believe that the city you loved never existed.”
“That’s morbid.”
“Seriously, how much of it had you really seen?”
Nora looked again at the view. “Oh wait, technically you’ve seen quite a bit of it.”
“Technically.”
[Kevin]
Sunday. Kevin was at a church. Again.
After another sermon, a middle-aged person named Leo (whom he had met a couple of weeks ago) sought him out.
“Hey Kevin,” he said, “do you know a lot about social media?”
The question hit him with surprise. Kevin had once been obsessed with social media.
“I know a little bit,” said Kevin, “why do you ask?”
“I’d like to give our church more of an online presence, but it’s all new to me. What do you know about Facebook groups?”
“Well,” said Kevin, “not too much. I know that you can pay to have the algorithm favor you, so you get more traffic. I also know that you can integrate it with Google Analytics, and I believe the algorithm will favor you if you can rack likes or comments in a five-minute window.
“The whole thing is very calculated. The emojis you use, whether you use GIFs, whether you use tags...all of these are taken into consideration when considering your post placement.”
“That’s all fine and good,” said Leo, “but you don’t sound super enthusiastic right now about Facebook.”
“Have you heard of Life Church?”
“No.”
“It’s a nice resource, it’s an online church, but it’s just a little bit too good. It’s hard to describe. It’s ridiculously high quality video, full Facebook integration, professional band. You can view the likes and comments in real time.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s weird. All of this is weird to me for some reason. Doing that kind of thing for a church? I prefer sites like Medium. I can harvest so much sweet, sweet data.”
“Are you okay? You just turned red.”
“You know, I get crazy about this a lot. I used to be a normal guy. A couple likes here, a couple likes there. I started to find forums where I could get 100 likes a post, consistently, and I started to get a presence. Click, like, share. Click, like, share. It’s no way to live, man. Every second a feeling of wanting judgment, every act of communication a desperate plea to please the algorithm.
“But this one time, this one night I’ll never forget, I put up an article that went #trending. It got 36,000 Facebook shares. Pretty okay, sure, but then I found the real analytics. 3 million hits. 3 million people read it, all around the world.”
For a little while, Leo just stood there. Finally, he spoke again.
“Kevin, I just want to share some videos.”
“Oh, okay. Have you considered YouTube?”
“What’s that?”
Kevin walked back to his apartment after lunch. Part of him wished he could be as enthusiastic about church as he was about technology, but there was still something he couldn’t get over. It was a belief that was fundamental to him for as long as he remembered. It was a belief that went against everything he had read in every book of the bible.
Kevin didn’t think it mattered what people believed. All that mattered to him was what people did.
Some Christians donated to the poor, built schools, saved lives. Some atheists donated to the poor, built schools, saved lives. Both Christians and non-Christian people had done great things, and horrible things, but so had Muslims. And Hindu people. And scientologists, and probably a million other religions. But no one thought it was okay to believe that your beliefs didn’t matter.
Kevin wasn’t sure if he believed in everything or nothing. He figured it was impossible to believe in nothing, because that would mean that he still believed in something.
[Dan]
Monday. 8PM. Dan was one of the only people in.
It was a long meeting, followed by a crucial lunch meeting, followed by coding, followed by another meeting. These past few days had been tough on everyone, but Dan sometimes wished he could just hole up, not talk to anyone, and code.
He finally had a few hours to himself. This was when he felt most productive.
2, he thought. 2, 4, 8, 16…
Dan’s weapon of choice had always been C++. He knew bitwidths, 56-megabyte proprietary structs, obscure abbreviations that only meant anything to him, Andy, and the Department of Defense. He knew 18 different ways to bind to a socket. He knew 19 different ways to accidentally bind to the socket incorrectly, which is why he was careful who he hired.
He looked at his code. 100 lines. 18 minutes. It compiled, implemented a client/server, verified that both sides were properly using the data. Not bad. He added error handling, comments, varied conditions. He updated his code like a skilled writer polishing his prose, and like a skilled writer he knew how important every individual unit was. He knew how significant the difference was between --i and i--. He knew the implications of using [] on a vector instead of .at()
Having accomplished his main goal, he decided to spend a few minutes making fun of other people on Github issues.
He saw one branch of code where someone failed, failed again, then tried changing all the include statements from using “” to using <>. Dan laughed.
He saw one branch of code where someone tried to log everything as fatal. This was surprisingly common, especially for people too dumb to figure out how to set log level. Dan laughed.
Then Dan saw a branch made by one of his best friends.
Ex-friends. No one ever figured it out. Things were mysterious, but for reasons he never understood this friend’s family chose not to mention their company (or Dan) once. But how did it happen? This was also mysterious. Dan compiled a list of all the things he had learned after college, and it was long, but one item stood out:
When an obituary omits cause of death, that usually means it’s suicide.
What appalled Dan wasn’t the act itself, but the sheer indifference that their company displayed. They just didn’t care. His cubicle was replaced by an intern’s, then another intern’s. That’s more or less how he felt the company regarded this death. It was a name tag change, a commented out line in payroll. It frustrated Dan to no end, the sheer meaningless and triviality of the ordeal.
Silently, when he was sure no one was there to hear, Dan wept.
He cried to a timer. When five minutes passed, he got back on track with coding.
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Future Of Data Science
What is data science?
Data science is a field that uses scientific method, process, algorithms and system to extract knowledge from data in various forms, structural, unstructured it is similar to data mining.
Data science is a concept to unify statistic, data analysis, machine learning and their related method in order to understand actual phenomena with data .It employs theory and techniques drawn from many field within the context of mathematics, statistics, information science and computer science
How to learn data science
Data science is a very practical field, and so it’s so important to apply theoretical knowledge that you have gathered. For example, when you learn starts, don’t just sit and read about it .see how it can be done with a programming language such as python, which a very popular language for beginners, find a data set and apply these concept on the data. Including other language like
1 linear algebra and calculus –for these refer to the book called advanced engineering mathematics by kreyszig. The various topics that you need to brush up your understanding in are hyper parameters, regularization function, cluster analyses are few topics under this domain and which is important for machine learning
2 vector calculus
3 Statistics—go on learning statistics on various sites like udacity, khan academy, courser. They provide detailed overview on this topic which is a vital topic under data science.
4 programming language---The most widely preferred open source statistical tools are ‘R’ and ‘Python’.
FOR R--start learning libraries like dplyr, tidyr, data table for data manipulation and ggplot2 for visualization which has the same syntax as R.in fact the visualization in ggplot2 is way better than that of matplotib
Go to kaggle and download data sets so that you can practice the concept that you have studied and build project and put up on your Git profile
How To Prepare for the Future of Data Science
There are many ways companies can and should prepare for the future of data science. These include creating a culture for using machine learning models and their output, standardize and digitize processes, experimenting with a cloud infrastructure solution, have an agile approach to data science projects and creating dedicated data science units. Being able to execute on some of these points will increase the likelihood of succeeding in a highly digitized world.
A Data Science Unit
In my previous role I was working as a data scientist for an insurance company. One of the smart moves they made was to create an analytics unit, which worked across company verticals.
This made it easier for us to reuse our skills and models on a variety of data sets. It was also a signal to the rest of the company that we had a focus on data science and that this was a prioritized issue. If a company has a certain size, creating a dedicated data science unit is definitely the right move to make.
Standardization
Standardization of processes is also important. This will make it easier to digitize and perhaps automate these processes in the future. Automation is a key driver for growth, making it much easier to scale. An added bonus is that the data collected from automated processes is usually a lot less messy and less error prone than data collected from manual processes. Since an important enabler of data science models is access to good data, this will help make the models better.
Adoption of Data Science
There should also be a culture in the company for adopting the use of machine learning algorithms and using their output in business decisions. This is of course often easier said than done since many employees might fear that the algorithms are making them obsolete.
It is therefore critical that there be a strong focus on how employees can use their existing skill set alongside algorithms to make more high-level and tactical business decisions, as this combination of human and machine is likely to be the future of work in many occupations. It will probably be more than a few years before the machine learning algorithms are able to navigate alone and make superhuman decisions in an open world setting, meaning mass unemployment due to the rise of the machines is not a likely scenario in the near future.
Always Experiment
With new data being generated from IoT sources, it is important to explore new data sets and see how they can be used to augment your existing models. There is a constant flow of new data waiting to be discovered.
Perhaps including two new variables from an obscure data set into your model will increase the precision of the leads generating model by 5% — and perhaps not. The point is to always experiment and not be afraid to fail. Like all other scientific inquires, failed attempts abound, and the winners are those who keep on trying.
Create an environment that promotes experimentation and that tries to make incremental improvements to existing business processes. This will make it easier for data scientist to introduce new models and will also set the focus on the smaller improvements, which are a lot less risky than the larger grand visions. Remember, data science is still a lot like software development and the more complex the project becomes the more likely it is to fail.
Try building an app that your customers or suppliers can use to interact with your services. This will make it easier to gather relevant data. Create incentives to promote usage of the app which will increase the amount of data being generated. It is also imperative that the UX of the app be appealing and promotes use.
We might need to venture outside of our comfort zones to take on the opportunities and challenges that this digital gold brings. As the amount of data continues to grow, machine learning algorithms get smarter and our computational abilities improve, we will need to adapt. Hopefully, by creating a strong environment for using data science your company will be better prepared for what the future will bring.
Applications / Uses of Data Science
Using data science, companies have become intelligent enough to push & sell products as per customer’s purchasing power & interest. Here’s how they are ruling our hearts and minds:
Internet Search
When we speak of search, we think ‘Google’. Right? But there are many other search engines like Yahoo, Bing, Ask, AOL, Duckduckgo etc. All these search engines (including Google) make use of data science algorithms to deliver the best result for our searched query in fraction of seconds. Considering the fact that, Google processes more than 20 petabytes of data every day. Had there been no data science, Google wouldn’t have been the ‘Google’ we know today.

Digital Advertisements (Targeted Advertising and re-targeting)
If you thought Search would have been the biggest application of data science and machine learning, here is a challenger – the entire digital marketing spectrum. Starting from the display banners on various websites to the digital bill boards at the airports – almost all of them are decided by using data science algorithms.
This is the reason why digital ads have been able to get a lot higher CTR than traditional advertisements. They can be targeted based on users past behavior.
Speech Recognition
Some of the best example of speech recognition products are Google Voice, Siri, Cortana etc. Using speech recognition feature, even if you are not in position to type a message, your life wouldn’t stop. Simply speak out the message and it will be converted to text. However, at times, you would realize, speech recognition doesn’t perform accurately.
Image Recognition
You upload your image with friends on Facebook and you start getting suggestions to tag your friends. This automatic tag suggestion feature uses face recognition algorithm. Similarly, while using whats app web, you scan a bar code in your web browser using your mobile phone. In addition, Google provides you the option to search for images by uploading them. It uses image recognition and provides related search results.
Gaming
EA Sports, Zynga, Sony, Nintendo, Activision-Blizzard have led gaming experience to the next level using data science. Games are now designed using machine learning algorithms which improve / upgrade themselves as the player moves up to a higher level. In motion gaming also, your opponent (computer) analyzes your previous moves and accordingly shapes up its game.
Fraud and Risk Detection
One of the first applications of data science originated from Finance discipline. Companies were fed up of bad debts and losses every year. However, they had a lot of data which use to get collected during the initial paper work while sanctioning loans. They decided to bring in data science practices in order to rescue them out of losses. Over the years, banking companies learned to divide and conquer data via customer profiling, past expenditures and other essential variables to analyze the probabilities of risk and default. Moreover, it also helped them to push their banking products based on customer’s purchasing power
Airline Route Planning
Airline Industry across the world is known to bear heavy losses. Except a few airline service providers, companies are struggling to maintain their occupancy ratio and operating profits. With high rise in air fuel prices and need to offer heavy discounts to customers has further made the situation worse. It wasn’t for long when airlines companies started using data science to identify the strategic areas of improvements. Now using data science, the airline companies can:
1. Predict flight delay
2. Decide which class of airplanes to buy
3. Whether to directly land at the destination, or take a halt in between (For example: A flight can have a direct route from New Delhi to New York. Alternatively, it can also choose to halt in any country.)
4. Effectively drive customer loyalty programs
Southwest Airlines, Alaska Airlines are among the top companies who’ve embraced data science to bring changes in their way of working
Coming Up In Future
Though, not much has been reveled about them except the prototypes, and neither I know when they would be available for a common man’s disposal. Hence, We need to wait and watch how far Google can become successful in their self driving cars project.
Self Driving Cars
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Top interview questions asked in a Selenium interview
Top Interview Questions Asked in a Selenium Interview
Introduction
Selenium is an essential tool for automated testing of web applications, and as such, it plays a critical role in ensuring the quality and reliability of software products. If you're aiming to pursue a career in automation testing or if you're a seasoned professional looking for new opportunities, you'll likely encounter Selenium-related questions during your interviews. In this article, we'll explore some of the top interview questions asked in a Selenium interview and provide you with insights on how to answer them effectively.
What is Selenium, and why is it used for automation testing?
Selenium is an open-source framework for automating web applications. It allows testers to perform actions on a web page, such as clicking buttons, filling forms, and validating results, without manual intervention. Selenium is widely used in automation testing because it supports multiple programming languages (Java, Python, C#, etc.), multiple browsers (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, etc.), and offers excellent compatibility with various operating systems.
Answer: Selenium simplifies the automation of repetitive test cases, reduces human errors, saves time and resources, and ensures consistent testing across different environments and browsers.
Explain the difference between Selenium WebDriver and Selenium IDE.
Selenium WebDriver is a programming interface that allows you to write code to interact with web elements and perform actions on a web page. It provides more flexibility and control over test automation compared to Selenium IDE.
Selenium IDE, on the other hand, is a record-and-playback tool for creating simple automation scripts. It's a browser extension that records user interactions with a web page and generates test scripts automatically.
Answer: WebDriver is the preferred choice for serious automation testing projects due to its versatility, while Selenium IDE is suitable for quick prototyping and simpler tasks.
How do you identify web elements in Selenium?
In Selenium, web elements such as buttons, text fields, and links are identified using locators. The most common locators are:
ID
Name
Class Name
Tag Name
Link Text
Partial Link Text
XPath
CSS Selector
Answer: Depending on the specific use case and the element's attributes, you can choose an appropriate locator strategy to locate and interact with web elements.
What is the difference between implicit wait and explicit wait in Selenium?
Implicit wait is a global wait applied to all web elements in a Selenium script. It instructs the WebDriver to wait for a specified amount of time before throwing an exception if an element is not found. Implicit waits are defined once and affect the entire script.
Explicit wait, on the other hand, is applied to a specific web element or a condition. It allows the script to wait for a certain condition to be met before proceeding. You can set explicit waits for individual elements with different timeout values.
Answer: Implicit waits are generally discouraged in favor of explicit waits because they can lead to longer test execution times and less precise control over waiting conditions.
What is the Page Object Model (POM) in Selenium?
The Page Object Model is a design pattern used in Selenium to create a structured and maintainable automation framework. It involves creating a separate class for each web page or component of a web application. These classes encapsulate the web elements and actions related to that page, making the code more organized and reusable.
Answer: The Page Object Model enhances test maintenance, reduces code duplication, and improves the overall readability of Selenium test scripts.
How do you handle dynamic web elements in Selenium?
Dynamic web elements are those whose attributes, such as IDs or names, change dynamically with each page load or interaction. To handle such elements in Selenium, you can use techniques like:
Using XPath or CSS selectors with partial attribute values.
Finding a stable parent element and navigating to the dynamic element from there.
Using the "contains" function in XPath to match a part of the attribute value.
Answer: Handling dynamic elements requires a good understanding of XPath and CSS selectors and a careful examination of the web page's structure.
Explain the concept of TestNG in Selenium.
TestNG (Test Next Generation) is a testing framework for Java that integrates seamlessly with Selenium. It allows you to organize test cases, execute tests in parallel, generate reports, and manage test dependencies. TestNG provides annotations like @Test, @BeforeTest, @AfterTest, and more to define the test flow and perform actions before and after tests.
Answer: TestNG enhances the test structure and reporting capabilities of Selenium, making it a powerful combination for automation testing.
What are the different types of Selenium WebDriver commands for interacting with web elements?
Selenium WebDriver offers a wide range of commands for interacting with web elements, including:
Clicking elements: click()
Entering text: sendKeys()
Retrieving text: getText()
Checking element presence: isDisplayed(), isEnabled(), isSelected()
Navigating between pages: get(), navigate()
Handling dropdowns: Select class methods
Answer: A strong grasp of these commands is crucial for performing various actions on web elements during test automation.
How do you handle pop-up windows and alerts in Selenium?
Pop-up windows and alerts are common elements in web applications. To handle them in Selenium, you can use methods like:
switchTo().alert() to switch focus to an alert.
accept() to accept an alert.
dismiss() to dismiss an alert.
getWindowHandles() to handle multiple browser windows.
Answer: Handling pop-ups and alerts requires knowledge of the WebDriver's built-in methods for switching focus between different windows and frames.
Explain the importance of test automation frameworks in Selenium.
Test automation frameworks provide a structured approach to organizing and executing automated tests. They help maintain consistency, enhance reusability, and improve test maintenance. Common test automation frameworks in Selenium include Data-Driven, Keyword-Driven, and Behavior-Driven Development (BDD) frameworks like Cucumber.
Answer: Using a well-designed test automation framework can significantly improve the efficiency and effectiveness of your Selenium test suite.
Conclusion
Preparing for a Selenium interview can be challenging, but by understanding these top interview questions and practicing your responses, you'll be better equipped to demonstrate your knowledge and skills. Remember to not only provide correct answers but also showcase your problem-solving abilities and practical experience in Selenium automation testing. With the right preparation, you can increase your chances of landing that coveted Selenium testing job.
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