#* ⌜☆⌟ * oh you like me now? ⟶ connection: k. harris

[prtcts]

darkness had been descending on her recently, pushing out the goodness in her heart, the trust had been broken, hope dashed, what little grip on optimism she had once held had been crushed and scattered, until all that remained of her were the worst parts. the bitter, twisted, violent parts that she had never relished embracing. she was barely recognisable; she'd lost weight, her hair, usually so carefully cut to a length that prevented it from obscuring her vision had grown long, but the biggest difference was in her demeanour. careful perceptive eyes replaced with wild ones, precisely fluid movements became sharp and rigid. and she was actively seeking out the person she had once considered her enemy. on purpose. to plead.

she was unarmed, it didn't matter, truly, whether she was alone wasn't, but it was a gesture, a silent promise that she wasn't there to harm them, and although she knew kit had allowed her to find them, it hadn't been easy to get to them, even without fighting against their usual habits of concealing themselves. kit had been watching her descent, hanako was sure of it, probably revelling in the cruelty consuming someone who had once been aligned with him. she couldn't even think his name these days, the anger barely concealed the pain of his abandonment.

so she stood before them, feeling naked, not particularly caring if she walked away alive or not, and said the only words she could muster. - " you were right. "

@audaciiae​

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

B, K, U and X for the ask game ! Also have a lovely day !

Thank you for the ask~ ♡⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝♡ Hope you're having a lovely day too!

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Honestly? Tomarrymort. I was deep in my drarry phase and read a story that also included harrymort in a honeytrap sort of way (the only other thing I remember about this fic was that Harry used a gun). It piqued my interest in a "oh, that's a thing" kind of way, and eventually led me to Living in the Moment by RenderedReversed, which cemented my fascination with the pairing. Harvest Moon and tomarry? Be still my heart.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Cloud Strife! Note that this is based mainly on the original game and Advent Children, since I haven't really played the other games and only know the lore through fanfic. But, without spoiling too much, he goes from adopting a cool, edgy persona to cover up his perceived flaws and shore up his broken mental state. He comes out the other side of being made to confront this reality as his awkward, wonderfully dorky and damaged authentic self, beginning to heal a little bit. But he also isn't instantly fixed, nor is the path forward simple and without its setbacks.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Cloud Strife (FFVII): See above; also, see below.

He's so pretty~

Homura (Madoka Magica): She tries so hard, and gets so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter... Jokes kind of A self-hating, doomed lesbian who's willing to become the devil to save the one she loves who has completely forgotten her? How could I not love Homura? Now if only she could catch a break... (:‚‹」∠)

Yuri Plisetsky (Yuri!!! On Ice): He's such a little shit, and he cares so much, but he's such an edgy teenager about it ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) He's like a feral cat who shows affection by bringing you dead things (or calling you a pig, YOU'RE NOT SUBTLE YURI). He's incredibly driven and hard-working and talented, and he loves his Dedushka, and he swears like a sailor and acts like a thug. Also, this:

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Connected to my love of pining (and probably my love of Austen's Persuasion), exes to lovers! When there was once love (or at least mutual appreciation), but then something went wrong and it all turned bitter and sad and it ended. But after some time apart, and perhaps with a new perspective or some necessary character development, they find each other again and it's better than it ever was before.

Why yes, apparently I am a hopeless romantic.

[where-dreams-dwell]

Argh the hypocrisy, misogyny and wilful misunderstanding around women as fans is so infuriating!

Matt Rife wants to ‘assure’ people that he doesn’t ‘cater to women’ in his new comedy special. If so that is a fucking *stupid* decision.

Because if you’re an artist then a largely female fan base is a great marker for success.

Some of the most successful global artists right now? Taylor Swift. BTS (and K-pop to a greater extent). Harry Styles. Beyoncé.

The majority of their fanbase? Female.

IMPORTANT: I’m NOT saying men don’t love/support/consume these artists, or that they shouldn’t. Huge numbers of men love and support these artists, and they should continue to do so. I’m stating that the majority of these fanbases are made up of women.

And women show up for you as an artist, on every metric which currently tracks ‘success’. They stream your songs/interviews/skits; they buy your album/record/dvd; they fight over tickets and pay astronomical fees to see you live; they tune into your award shows/guest stars; they watch your movies/documentaries; they post about you and your activities; and they go to bat for you in arenas you aren’t even aware of.

The colleague at work who heard a BTS song on the radio? Oh yeah, it can be intimidating if you don’t know who they are, here let me help you understand more and show you their best attributes and why you might like to learn more.

The family member who doesn’t ‘get’ why this singer is all over their TV? No worries, let me explain their songs and why they resonate, how they connect with their fans and why they’re incredibly talented.

And when ‘real’ artists are brought up to compare them against, not only do they pick an artist who’s peak years were decades ago, they try to rewrite history.

‘Yeah they might be successful but they’re not the Beatles!’ Okay so you see the Beatles as legitimate, successful, global artists with talent. Shall we look at Beatle Mania? A huge part of their success was the women who supported them, who bought their records, showed up to their performances, who funded their financial success and drove their pop culture relevance.

‘Yes they’re a good singer but they’re not Elvis!’. Oh are you referring to ‘The Hips’ who’s gyrating style of dancing ‘drove women wild’? Who’s success in music meant he was *able* to make movies and tour the country. The women who consumed his music, came to his shows, followed his personal life in the news, who watched his movies - they’re the ones who financed his life. Guys wanted to be Elvis, to dress like him, because women loved him.

Why is having a majority female audience seen to delegitimise you as an artist? When they are the ones who got you to where you are now, why are they suddenly not good enough?

[misfit-among-the-angels]

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Oh that's a good question, hard one too, so prepare for wall of text. 😂

Before i dive into answering the question i have to say that music, movies/tv series or books only show part of me. And again it's hard for me to say because i have personality disorder and that's where it gets tricky, while yes, media and books did and still do form me as a person they only give you a small glimpse and i'm not sure if it would make someone really understand me. To actually understand me a person would need to talk to me personally, also to know history of my country and know what was happening in Europe and in my country when i was growing up, to know a lot about mental illnesses and disorders and adhd and autism and abuse. Because all these things contributed a lot to who i am today.

Now back to the question. I'll start with music because music is a big thing in my life. Nightwish, Avantasia, Edguy and Rammstein are the bands that had the biggest impact on me and still do. Especially lyric wise. Oomph!, Iron maiden, Satyricon, Taake, Arch Enemy, Amon Amarth, Tarja, Faun, Corvus Corax, E nomine, Wintersun, Twisted Sister, Queen, Wardruna, Lord of the lost, Hardline, Triptykon, Rotting Christ, Eluveitie, Eivor, Manegarm, Heilung, Beast in Black, Battle beast.... All these bands and many more are something that a person should listen to in order to understand parts of me. I also want to mention Michael Jackson as his music was and still is a big thing in my life and even when i was in my early teens and didn't understand English well, i vibed with his music so well and i liked him as a musician and felt connection too. Then i also want to mention Lady Gaga, Hayley Kiyoko and pop music in general. I wasn't raised metalhead from my childhood and for almost up until 15 years i mainly listened to pop music and even know i do sometimes because some songs are just way too relatable.

Now movies/tv series. I grew up with LoTR movies mostly but also The Matrix and Harry Potter. Lord of the rings had the biggest impact on me tho. I've watched so many movies that it's hard to actually name all of them. Schindler's list, Shawshank redemption, Monster house, Spirited away, Howl's Moving Castle, some of Marvel movies like Iron Man or Thor, Insidious, The Witch, Gladiator, Ratatouille, Repo: The genetic opera, The handmaiden, Millennium. That's all i can remember for now. Now tv series. Sherlock, The Vikings, Loki, Peaky blinders, Game of thrones, Our flag means death, Netflix Ragnarok, His dark materials, Stranger things, Westworld, Hannibal, Halt and catch fire, Twin peaks.

And now books, so as i said i grew up with LoTR movies but before that it was books for me, so i became a lover of Tolkien stuff at very early age. Of course Harry Potter too, i have all 7 books but they never made that huge impact as LOTR did. His dark materials trilogy, Silva rerum books, Dracula by Bram Stoker, Forest of the gods by Balys Sruoga, The trial by F. Kafka, The gospel of Loki by J.M. Harris, Dina;s book trilogy, Name of the rose by U. Eco, Foucault's Pendulum by U. Eco, Americon gods by N. Gaiman, The dark tower series by S. King, Petro imperatorienė by K. Sabaliauskaitė. I think that's about it.

Sorry for such a big wall of text but i can't respond to this any differently. 😅

[discobrainrot]

jean/judit!

Ahhhhhhh yes! The rarest of ships for me - a hetero one that I don’t mind LMFAO (j/k mostly)

1. Jean knew Judit before either of them were in the RCM.

Okay, look, one of my favourite tropes is Childhood Friends Who Lost Contact With Each Other But Are Reunited Now And Uh Oh You Grew Up To Be Hot.

I love the idea of the two of them having been childhood friends! I like the thought of Judit holding Jean’s hand, pulling him with her as they explore a storm drain or abandoned building. She was always the one to pull him out of his shell. She was the one who wanted adventure. She was the wild child, getting him to sit on her handlebars while throttling down a steep hill.

But he was the one to hold her hand during the nights, the one to talk her out of running away. He provided some stability, and she gave him joy.

Which is why it hurt her so much when she found him again. She learned how to walk the straight and narrow - how to make sure things go according to plan. That’s the cost of climbing the ladder. It’s just unavoidable, sometimes. But Jean? God, Jean…

She finds him again and he’s already fraying at the edges. The boy who needed her to speak up on his behalf is having screaming matches with his partner. He’s lashing out just to lash out. It’s awful to witness.

And it leaves Judit in a state of shock. She thinks to herself, what happened to the boy I loved? Where has he gone?

He’s still there. She knows it. And under the mask of professionalism, she’s still a wild child with a thirst for adventure. She still loves a challenge. She still loves Jean. And she will find him again.

2. Both of them are Bi.

And Jean is the first person Judit ever tells. It’s a new, terrifying revelation. Her attraction to men and women is wildly different - they touch different parts of her. It never occurred to her that her feelings toward other girls weren’t “normal.” All girls want to hold each other’s hands, right? All women look at each other’s lips and wonder what they taste like. All ladies get butterflies when popular girls compliment their hair or nails. It’s just friendship… right?

And when she tells Jean, she shakes like a leaf. They’re both in their 30s by now - she should have figured it out sooner. What if this is the final straw? What if, after everything he’s been going through with Harry, this proves to be too much? God, he already has so many problems to deal with.

But he reaches out and pulls her close, leaning her head on his shoulder. He just mutters that it’s okay, and it was hard for him to figure out, too. He’s embarrassed to say it out loud, but it doesn’t last. She’s just so relieved to have his support and overjoyed to share this connection.

They spend hours and hours talking after that. Not just about their sexualities, but about… anything! Important shit! Unimportant shit! Things that make them smile.

And when Jean sees her smile, he realizes his face hurts. Why does his face hurt? My fucking god, it’s because he’s smiling too. And for a second, he forgets to care about the ache because he can’t help but smile more.

3. Jean has a Mommy kink that he didn’t have before Judit.

Can you change my mind? No. Will I explain further? Also no. <3

[eloreese]

matilda.

"nothing 'bout the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming till now so you tie up your hair and you skile like its no big deal."

I was raised by thinking that hardships are equivalent to strength, that one should be placed in lots of battlefields to make them stronger. I believed and lived through that, gaslighting myself that every blood, sweat, and tears I am consuming will shape me in becoming the strongest version of myself. That overcoming such hardships will hone me to become a person everyone will look up to. They made me believe that I need to bleed before I become brighter. Until, I bled a lot and the people who made me believe turned their backs at me.

"you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family 'cause they never showed you love you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"

There were people who allowed me to be vulnerable. They allowed me to cry, to talk, to sulk, to rant, they allowed me to put all my feelings out until I felt better. They tried to make me realize how I should be focusing on myself rather than proving myself to people who do not even care for me. But I still believed that all of the challenges I am facing are just a phase and I will overcome everything and I will become stronger.

"Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days It's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind"

I tolerated the disrespect. I romanticized the thought of resiliency - that no matter how people put me down, I will always have my way back up. I abused my strength and capability to always see the good in everything. I never showed my scars. I never showed my panic and asthma attacks. I never showed how badly I wanna k!ll myself for every trigger because I gaslighted myself with the thought of them, having battles of their own that's why it's okay for them to disrespect me.

"you can see the world, following the seasons anywhere you go, you don't need a reason 'cause they never showed you love you don't have to be sorry for doin' it on your own."

Consecutive events concerning my physical health allowed me to see how badly I wanted people to see the good in me. One night, I was crying so bad until I lost my ability to breathe for minutes. It was scary to face a struggle alone yet here I am, finally letting go of everything that broke me.

"Oh, there's a long way to go I don't believe that time will change your mind In other words I know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go"

i've got a long way to go and i know myself that the process will never be linear but leaving a place that ruined me was already a big step. it may be controversial to other people because i was once a ray of sunshine and yet i still turned into a heavy rain with a heavy heart, slowly stopping from pouring because i bled out. harry's right all along, they can never hurt me anymore if i started cutting every tie that connects me to them.

elora.

[fictionz]

New Fiction 2023 - August

"Lamentations of Jeremias" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

A little tag to the end of Jeremias about how dealing with God sucks, and there's another one after this.

"The Miracle of the Lily" by Clare Winger Harris (1928)

Water yourself.

"The Conquest of Gola" by Leslie F. Stone (1931)

Why dudes gotta be like that.

"The Black God's Kiss" by C.L. Moore (1934)

Fuck. Yes.

"Space Episode" by Leslie Perri (1941)

Fellas, just step aside.

"That Only a Mother" by Judith Merril (1948)

You see it coming but still hits.

"In Hiding" by Wilmar H. Shiras (1948)

Okay things get weird and eugenicsy with this atomic supermen bullshit.

"Contagion" by Katherine MacLean (1950)

Again with the genetic supermen business. Maybe that's the intended effect?

"The Inhabited Men" by Margaret St. Clair (1951)

That's some good slow-burn space horror.

"Ararat" by Zenna Henderson (1952)

Oh no the superior beings are among us and better than us and will replace us, aka yikes.

"All Cats Are Gray" by Andrew North (1953)

See or not, they're there.

"Created He Them" by Alice Eleanor Jones (1955)

Rather be dead tbh.

"Mr. Sakrison’s Halt" by Mildred Clingerman (1956)

Get me outta here too.

"All the Colors of the Rainbow" by Leigh Brackett (1957)

God, this was a tough and necessary read.

"Pelt" by Carol Emshwiller (1958)

We're all a skin to someone.

"Car Pool" by Rosel George Brown (1959)

This style, holy shit. Getting into the stuff I came up with, the style of the gazed navel.

"For Sale, Reasonable" by Elizabeth Mann Borgese (1959)

Don't hire me.

"Birth of a Gardener" by Doris Pitkin Buck (1961)

You don't listen.

"The Tunnel Ahead" by Alice Glaser (1961)

I mean, what else to do?

"The New You" by Kit Reed (1962)

They'll bottle you up soon enough.

"Another Rib" by John Jay Wells & Marion Zimmer Bradley (1963)

Not so shocking now.

"When I Was Miss Dow" by Sonya Dorman (1966)

Be me be you be me.

"Baby, You Were Great" by Kate Wilhelm (1967)

If you can't connect then you learn to live with it.

"The Barbarian" by Joanna Russ (1968)

Fear of my tower getting breached.

"The Last Flight Of Dr. Ain" by James Tiptree, Jr. (1969)

Twelve monkeys origin story.

"Nine Lives" by Ursula K. Le Guin (1969)

Too many minds for a collective.

Twilight by David R. George III (2002)

Hefty story but it's good to go back to the old style of dealing with incomprehensible beings from other dimensions.

Are You Terrified Yet? by R.L. Stine (1998)

Not with this story. If Goosebumps 2000 is about aging out of monsters and supernatural stuff then I don't care for it.

Tick Tock, You're Dead! by R.L. Stine (1995)

Time travel shenanigans, my beloved.

"Mighty Max Trapped by Arachnoid" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Spiders don't scare me.

"Mighty Max Liquidates the Ice Alien" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Refractive weapons.

"Mighty Max Lashes Lizard" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Squirt.

"Mighty Max Traps Rattus" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Traps you.

"Mighty Max Outwits Cyclops" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Poke 'em.

"Mighty Max Tangles With the Ape King" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Just take over.

"Mighty Max Slays the Doom Dragon" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Does he though?

"Mighty Max Grapples with Battle Cat" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Bring them back.

"Mighty Max Squishes Fly" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Narshty.

"Mighty Max Blows Up Dino Lab" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Science outfits are slipping.

"Mighty Max Stings Scorpion" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Big means not poisonous.

"Mighty Max Crushes the Hand" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Win the duel!

"Mighty Max Escapes from Skull Dungeon" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Smasher, really?

"Mighty Max Conquers the Palace of Poison" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Flees from it, eh.

"Mighty Max Sinks Nautilus" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Time has ravaged your once youthful looks.

"Mighty Max Caught by the Man-Eater" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

The final frontier.

"Mighty Max Bytes Cyberskull" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Stay off the computer.

"Mighty Max Terminates Wolfship 7" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Go away aliens.

"Mighty Max Survives Corpus" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Get aHEAD in DEADvertising.

"Mighty Max Against Robot Invader" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

He invade.

"Mighty Max Zaps Beetlebrow" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Quick work.

"Mighty Max Crushes Talon" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

See into the bone soul.

"Mighty Max Out-Freaks Freako" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Wergh, some kinda phobia.

"Mighty Max Rams Hydron" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

I said let 'em take over.

"Mighty Max Versus Kronosaur" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

They just do what they do.

"Mighty Max Challenges Lava Beast" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

I doubt the veracity of flesh to fire.

"Mighty Max Tangles With Lockjaw" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Well, some last words at least.

"Mighty Max Defeats Vamp Biter" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

In the sun.

"Mighty Max Fights Nuke Ranger" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Not a place of honor.

"Mighty Max Pulverizes Sea Squirm" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Die native fauna.

"Mighty Max Battles Skull Warrior" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Go home, you're drunk.

"Mighty Max Hammers Ax Man" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

It's a tool!

"Mighty Max Hounds Werewolf" by Bluebird Toys (1993)

Awoo.

"Mighty Max Neutralises Zomboid" by Bluebird Toys (1992)

Flesh of my flesh.

"Mighty Max Defeats Battle Conqueror" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

I kick you.

"Mighty Max Head to Head With Hydra" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Two in one.

"Mighty Max Melts Lava Beast" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Delicious java.

"Mighty Max Strikes Fang" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Grab the tail.

"Mighty Max Shuts Down Cybot" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Always an off switch.

"Mighty Max Shatters Gargoyle" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

Tap tap tap.

"Mighty Max Assaults Skull Master" by Bluebird Toys (1994)

You'd lose but you do it anyway.

"La-Mulana" by KC Green (2023)

Hyuck.

"Mental Health Marge 2 Da Rescue" by ossian (2019)

Listen 2 da TV mom.

Theater Camp dir. Molly Gordon & Nick Lieberman (2023)

I took a theater class one semester of high school, along with a final play at the end, and that is an intense type of person to hang around with. But I liked that there's a subset of member who just does, like, building sets and stuff, because it me.

Never Say Never dir. Baoqiang Wang (2023)

So... signing shady contractual obligations with children is okay if you're giving them something to do?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem dir. Jeff Rowe (2023)

This feels the most like playing with action figures out of any TMNT thing which makes it the most appropriate interpretation.

Meg 2: The Trench dir. Ben Wheatley (2023)

Not enough sea creecher.

Ransomed dir. Kim Seong-hun (2023)

I enjoy the sociopathic killer who could be in a boy band genre from South Korean cinema, and this is right in there.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter dir. André Øvredal (2023)

A fine Saturday afternoon on broacast TV sorta movie.

Jules dir. Marc Turtletaub (2023)

Got some aliens this month, and this one is a charming little story about how aliens can't save us from our bodies' inevitable betrayal.

Strays dir. Josh Greenbaum (2023)

A good road trip to set the soul afire.

Blue Beetle dir. Angel Manuel Soto (2023)

Lots of good details, but it still shakes out as a generic superhero movie of our age.

Gran Turismo dir. Neill Blomkamp (2023)

I saw this 1.5 times after the first showing failed halfway through. You know where it's going and, you know, sports movie gonna sports.

birth/rebirth dir. Laura Moss (2023)

Hey! That's it, the jam, the good stuff. A high-end version of my beloved anthology horror.

Landscape With Invisible Hand dir. Cory Finley (2023)

The other aliens movie of the month is more in the po-mo style of commentary on our societal ills. I look forward to this feeling quaint in 20 years.

Porco Rosso dir. Hayao Miyazaki (1992)

Damn, TaleSpin really do be like this. But I'll just take it as more fun anthropomorphized adventures of the air and sea.

The Wind Rises dir. Hayao Miyazaki (2013)

Ghibli's contemplative looks at Japanese culture and history are some monumental works.

Retribution dir. Nimród Antal (2023)

That's your final guy? Shoulda been someone else.

To Live and Die in L.A. dir. William Friedkin (1985)

That's some good 80s vibe I tell you what.

Tales from the Crypt - Seasons 5-6 (1993-1995)

Okay, alright, things are starting to sag a bit after the peak of seasons 3 and 4. Not a show to binge watch. But I still want a super cut of Cryptkeeper intros and outros.

[atlafan]

Something New - One Shot

a/n: I’ve been working on this for a couple of weeks, rewrote half of it, and now I feel like it’s good enough to post. I guess you could call this enemies to friends to lovers??? they’re both idiots, honestly lmao, anyways, enjoy biology teacher!Harry (not proofread) reblogs and feedback are helpful!

Warnings: a little bit of angst, fluff, and smut

Words: 20K

Divorced, new home, new town, new job, and a new school district for the kids all within the same year. Y/N had been separated from her husband for a couple of years prior, but when he moved in with his girlfriend, she knew it was officially over. It sucked. She knew she’d look back on it someday and be grateful that they ended things, but right now she wasn’t too happy about it. He got to be a weekend dad with his young girlfriend by his side, and there she was looking like the crazy old hang. It wasn’t her fault for not taking the best care of herself. She was depressed, could you blame her. They lived in one of those towns where everyone knew every little thing about you, so it was time to get out.

Securing the new job was the first on the list. If she could do that then maybe the kids would be more understanding about leaving. Y/N was a database manager for a non-profit organization. She was behind the scenes, and that’s how she liked it. She didn’t have to be the one asking for money or on the front lines vising donors. It was a job she could do anywhere, and she’d get paid well because of the software she knew how to use like the back of her hand.

There was a private school she had seen a job opening for. Normally, she’d be more apt to work for a non-profit, and not just some school for snotty rich kids, but their website made it seem like it wasn’t like that. Their donors gave out scholarships for students all of the time, and staff/faculty could send their kids to the school for free. That was a no brainer. Giving her kids a good education was her dream. The school was a K-12, so that would mean an easy pick up and drop off. After thinking it over, and researching the surrounding towns, she sent in her application.

Two weeks later she got a call for a video interview. She accepted happily. A week after that she was asked on campus for a second interview. Y/N put on her best blazer and nicest blue dress, the school colors were red and blue after all. She even made sure to wear red heels. Y/N spoke eloquently during her interview. She had researched everyone in the development office so she already knew faces and names. They were impressed. She spoke about her experience with The Rasier’s edge, the database management system, and they were awe-struck. She was given a tour of the campus, and it was absolutely gorgeous. The elementary school was a separate building, and the middle school and high school were separate, but connected by two connectors to make one large building. The development office was set up in this cute white house. They shared it with the alumni office, and apparently it was one of the oldest buildings on campus. Although, it was taken of so you’d never know it was old. They even showed her where her potential new office would be. There was a pool and ice rink as well that Y/N got to see. She was impressed. She interviewed the people on the committee too, knowing it was a two way street. She liked what they had to say.

A week or so after that, she was given an offer, a really good offer. Now it was time to talk to her kids. She couldn’t just accept without speaking with them first. Her daughter, Riley, would be going into ninth grade, and her son, Ben, would be going into eighth. Y/N was only thirty-three, she was a young mother, thanks to her ex-husband who was about seven years older than her. A red flag she should have been more wise to, but she was young and naïve, and that’s all that needs to be said about that.

It was a difficult conversation with the kids, but after calming down they had become more open to it. They were upset with their father, and the idea of being a little farther away was sounding really nice. Living in a new home to make new memories in was sounding really nice. Making new friends and having a fresh start was sounding really nice.

So, Y/N accepted the position, and was given a moving allowance. She was able to find a home quickly that was perfect for them. A decent three bedroom about fifteen minutes from campus, so the commute would be easy enough. Riley and Ben took a liking to the uniforms, and since you did all of this over the summer, they’d be able to blend in easily on the first day of school. No awkward ‘walking in halfway through the term’ bullshit.

“When am I supposed to see them?” Your ex had asked you over the phone when you told him you were moving.

“Every other weekend, same as before.”

“So now I have to drive an hour out of my way to-“

“It’s not an hour, it’s forty-five minutes at best. Shouldn’t it be worth it? They’re your kids.”

“You’re taking them from me.”

“You did that to yourself, Joseph. The weekends will stay the same. Be happy our kids are getting a good education. Goodbye.”

She knew she was harsh, but after being cheated on, and left for a younger woman, she thought she earned the right. A week before school started, the kids had gotten their schedules in the mail.

“Who do you have, Riles?” Ben asks her.

“Someone named…Mr. Styles for homeroom, he’s the biology teacher too.”

“Thought you took bio sophomore year.” Y/N says to her.

“Nope, my grades were good, remember? I’m in the honors class.” She smiles.

“What about you, Ben?”

“Um…Mr. Horan. Looks like I’ll have him for pre-algebra.”

“No female teachers for that, huh?” Y/N asks.

“I have a woman for Geometry, Mum, see?” Riley shows her.

“Oh good. Got worried for a second there.” Y/N chuckles.

“Are you nervous to start your new job?” Ben asks her.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m actually really excited. The time off has been nice, but I’m eager to get back into it.”

//

Y/N drops off the kids on the first day before going over to the staff lot. The program support assistant, Millie, is waiting for her with a cup of coffee and a warm smile.

“Morning, Y/N.”

“Hi, Millie.”

“Cream no sugar, right?”

“That’s right, thank you so much.”

“Let me lead you upstairs to your office. You have a meeting with the director of development, John, in about half an hour, and then you’ll have a team meeting with the rest of the people on your specific team, the gift processors, customer service. Then at lunch the development team and the alumni team will get together to welcome you.”

“Oh my, well, alright.” She chuckles.

“I put everything on your calendar for you.”

“Thank you.”

Y/N was used to doing everything herself at work, this was already a breath of fresh air. She hoped Riley and Ben had a good morning just the same.

It takes Riley a moment to find her classroom. She stops short when she walks in when she sees Mr. Styles, and another student walks right into her.

“I’m so sorry.” She says to the boy that nearly knocked her over. “Um, I wasn’t sure if this was the right classroom.”

“it’s okay.” He says. “Are you new?”

“Yeah, I’m Riley.”

“I’m Chris.” He smiles. “Wanna sit next to me?”

“Sure!” She says and sits a few rows back with him.

“Where’d you move from?”

“Just form a few towns over. My mom just got a job in the development office here.”

“Oh, cool! My mom works grounds here.”

Riley noticed that Chris had a rainbow pin on his blazer. She smiles at it. He notices her looking at it.

“I…uh…like your pin.”

“Oh, thanks.” He mumbles.

“My best friend back home has a lot of rainbow stuff in her room.”

Chris nods in understanding. More kids come in and claim their seats. The second bell rings, and Mr. Styles closes the door.

“Good morning, everyone.” Riley’s jaw drops at his accent and deep voice.

“Get used to it.” Chris whispers to her. “A lot of the teachers here are from other countries.”

Riley nods and continues to listen to Mr. Styles.

“Welcome to another year at our fabulous school. You’re officially high schoolers!” He grabs the handbook. “Which means there’s even more rules to follow, so let’s get through this together, yeah?”

Mr. Styles was quirky. He cracked jokes and made Riley feel excited to have him for biology. She turned to look at all of the lab benches in the back. She loved science in general, so this was good.

“Lastly, open house for parents will be at the end of the month. They begin at 6PM, so hopefully I’ll be able to meet all your folks. We also have a really fun fall carnival on campus. There’s games, rides, and it also gives a chance for families to see where you go to school. It’s all a part of our homecoming weekend.” The bell rings and everyone stands up. “Riley, could we chat for a second?”

She nods and looks at Chris.

“I can wait outside for you.” He says to her and she feels grateful. Their schedules were just about the same.

“Um, hi.” She says shyly.

“Hi, dear, so I was informed you’re new, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask. Usually we have new students stand up and introduce themselves, but I don’t like making people do that. It’s so forced. I can see you’re already making a friend.” He smiles. “Is it just you that’s new to us? Any siblings?”

“My younger brother is in eighth grade. He has Mr. Horan for homeroom.”

“You don’t say? That’s my best mate, believe it or not. He’s in good hands.”

“That’s good to know. I’m sure it’ll give my mom some peace of mind.”

“I don’t want to make you let, just wanted to give you a more friendly introduction.”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles. See you for bio.”

“See you later.”

Riley was making friends right away thanks to Chris. She had people to sit with at lunch, and she made sure Ben did too. He seemed to be sitting at a full table which was great. Her last class of the day was bio, which was perfect so she’d be near her locker.

“Welcome to honors biology.” Mr. Styles says. “This is a mixed class of ninth and tenth graders. Today we’re going to settle on lab partners, and we’re going to get lab safety out of the way. It’s the bane of my existence, but I need to know you all know how to be safe.”

Chris offers to be Riley’s lab partner even though he had other friends in the class. Mr. Styles writes down who is partnered with who. Then he essentially gives a tour of the classroom. He shows them where all of the lab coats and goggles are, the eyewash station, the sanitation shower, and the other equipment they’ll be using throughout the year.

“Now, in biology, we’ll be learning a lot about plants and animals, and we’ll also get into human anatomy. These subjects can be tough at times to grasp, so please, don’t be afraid to ask questions. I want to make sure I’m explaining things properly. I’m always will to meet after school for extra help as well, or put together a study group.” Mr. Styles explains.

Riley was finding that all of the teachers were really nice so far. She meets Ben after school and they walk over to the staff lot where Y/N was. She had asked to save her lunch hour for 2PM so she could scoot the kids home quick. Her supervisor had no problem with it.

“How was it?”

“Mr. Horan is hilarious, and he’s Irish!”

“Mr. Styles is British! And super nice. I think I’m gonna like it here, Mum. I already made a friend, so I had people to sit with at lunch.”

“Me too!”

It warmed Y/N’s heart to hear that the first day went well. It was all she could have hoped for. She gets them home, set up with a snack, and back out the door she goes. She had a couple of hours left of work anyways, so it was a nice break in the day. The lunch she had earlier with her new colleagues was fantastic. Everyone was welcoming and had no problem showing her the ropes.

When she’s walking to the parking lot around 5PM she notices other people making their way as well. She smiles at a few, and she gets some friendly nods back. She’s parked next to a black range rover, and she was hoping to get to her car before the other owner because she had parked a little too close to them on their driver’s side, but it wasn’t her fault. It was the only open spot when she got back.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Shit, she thinks to herself as she approaches. Not a great first impression to make at all.

“Just crawl in on the other side, H.”

“It’s the principle of the thing! They could have scratched it, or-“

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Y/N yells as she hustles over. “I had to bring my kids home, and this was the only other open spot, and the person previously on the other side of me was parked over the line, so I had to squeeze in, and I know it looks like I’m the asshole, but I swear I’m not.” She panics as she gets her keys out of her purse.

“It’s fine, miss, Harry’s just a jerk when it comes to his fancy car.”

“You sure like riding in my fancy car, so I suggest you shut it.” Harry huffs and looks at Y/N, furrowing his brows. “Look, I’ve had to be nice all day, and I’m exhausted, could you just back out so we can leave?”

“I said I was sorry.” She mumbles. Her eyes widen, though. An Irish accent and a British accent. “Shit, I think you’re my kids’ teachers.” She sighs. “Do the names Riley and Ben ring a bell?”

Harry’s features soften and he runs a hand through his hair.

“You’re Riley’s mum?”

“Yes.”

“Seems like she had a good first day. What department are you working in?”

“I’m the new database manager for the development office.”

“Ben was a delight! Laughed at all my jokes.” Niall says and you smile.

“He said you were funny. Riley liked you too, although now I’m not sure why. Taking a long day out on me. I’m sure the first day is a lot, but it was my first day too, and I’m equally as tired.”

“Maybe you should get home then.” Harry says, and she rolls her eyes.

“Nice meeting you both…well, one of you. I’m sure I’ll see you again, but if not I’ll be at the open house.” She gets into her car and carefully backs out, not scratching Harry’s car.

“You were rude.” Niall says as they both get into the car.

“I paid a lot of money for this car. I park far away for a reason, and someone has to park that close to me?”

“She apologized.”

“Good for her.”

“Harry…”

“Ugh, Francie texted me today, and it just sent me into a fucking spiral, and I had to act like it didn’t all day.”

“What?! When did she text you?”

“After homeroom, she told me to have a good first day. I didn’t even respond.”

“You should just block her number.”

“I haven’t quite reached that point yet, but it’s coming for sure.”

“You still shouldn’t have taken it out on that woman.”

“I’m sure she’ll forget all about it. I’ll be nice next time I see her, alright? Can we please just go get a pint now?”

“You’re the one driving, find a place you wanna go to.”

//

Y/N had successfully avoided the rude Brit that had given her such a tough time on her first day. Riley still raved about him, though. She said he was one of the best teachers she ever had. Ben really enjoyed Mr. Horan as well. He made math fun, which Y/N was grateful for. Ben was never really a good student, but he was doing really well so far.

“I can’t wait for you to go to the open house. Make sure to be super nice.” Riley tells Y/N. “I don’t want my teachers suddenly being mean.”

“It’s not me you have to worry about.” Y/N scoffs.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, honey. So, you’ll walk me around to all the classrooms, and you wait outside?”

“Mhm.” She beams.

“Mum, wait until you talk to Mr. Horan. He’s going to tell you the best things about me, I just know it.” Ben says.

“I’m looking forward to it, honey.”

Y/N had a draining day on the day of open house, and she just decided to stay on campus. She ended up taking the kid home at two, and told them she could figure out where the classrooms were herself. She got to have a one on one with Mr. Horan first.

“You can just call me Niall. We don’t need to be so formal.”

“Alright.” She smiles. “You can call me Y/N.”

“Ben’s doing really well so far. I was a little nervous at first, but he’s getting the hang of it.”

“Thank god.” She sighs. “So, he’ll be in ninth grade taking algebra one next year, is that okay?”

“Perfectly okay. A lot of students do that.”

“I just wanted to make sure because my daughter is in geometry.”

“Math isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. I was checking out his other grades, and he’s excelling in history.” She nods.

The conversation goes well. Y/N makes it through all of the meetings, and her last one is with Harry. She hears laughing from inside the classroom. The door swoops open, and a couple walks out chuckling with Harry.

“Ah, Mrs. Davidson, come on in.”

“It’s Miss Y/LN, or just Y/N if you want.” She says as she sits down on the chair near his desk. He sits down on his chair.

“My mistake, Riley’s last name is-“

“Her father’s last name. I’ve changed mine back. We’re divorced, didn’t really feel like keeping it.”

“I’m, um, sorry, I know how rough divorce can be.”

“Yeah? Been through it yourself, Mr. Styles?”

“Just call me Harry, and my parents were divorced, so I know enough about it from a child’s perspective.”

“They’re not too keen on their father right now. Classic situation of him cheating on me with a younger woman, which of course they found out about.”

“That’s weird.” He rests his cheek on his fist. “You seem pretty young yourself.”

She blushes slightly and clears her throat.

“Could say the same to you. I had them young, yeah, things happen. I don’t regret it though.”

“Riley’s been a real pleasure to have in class, and she’s fitting right in. She seems to like biology the best.”

“She loves science.” She smiles. “Think she gets that from me. I was really into math and science as a kid.”

“Guess you being a database manager makes sense then. New job treating you well?”

“Yeah.” She cocks her head to the side with a smirk. “Although, my almost perfect first day was just about sullied by a man you bullied me in the parking lot.”

“Okay, okay, I was an ass.” He sighs. “Thanks for bringing it up by the way.”

“Why were you so nasty to me anyways? I’ve been avoiding you.”

He frowns at that.

“My ex…fiancé texted me and wished me a good first day, so it just ruined my day and I had to keep it all bottled up. You parking that close just brought me over the edge. I apologize.”

“Yikes, I’m sorry. Well, at least you got out of it before you got married. You saved a lot of money and time.”

“It’s alright…” He looks away for a moment. “Are you bringing the kids to the carnival? It’s all part of homecoming weekend.”

“Yes, and they’re really excited. I have to work technically since a lot of donors come back. I mostly just need to be on the ball. Their father is coming too since it’s his weekend with them technically. I guess it’s good for him to see where they’re going to school.”

“If you need a break from him I’ll be working the candy apple booth.” He smiles.

“Good to know.” She yawns. “Jesus, sorry. I gotta say, I’m whipped.”

“Makes sense, it’s past eight.”

“That late?!” She stands up immediately, and so does he. “I need to get home to them. Um, well, this was a much better meeting.” She sticks her hand out for him to shake.

“I agree. Don’t be a stranger this weekend.”

She nods and leaves his classroom. Maybe he wasn’t as big of an asshole as she thought. Y/N’s had her fair share of bad days, he was allowed to have them too.

//

“It’s like a college campus, this place is huge!” Joseph says once they’re at the football field of the school.

“Yeah, and there’s a pool! I’m trying out for the winter swim team soon.” Riley tells her dad, in a better mood since he didn’t bring his girlfriend.

“It’s really all free for them?” He asks Y/N.

“Mhm.” She nods. “Okay, here all your meal tickets. I have to bee-bop around since I’m technically working. Have fun with Dad.” She smiles and they lead Joseph off towards some of the rides and games.

Y/N meets up with her colleagues and mingles with some of the donors she hasn’t been able to meet yet. She meets back up with the kids later to go on a few rides, and then goes to get food with them. She spots Harry at the candied apples tent, and she goes over there.

“I knew you’d find me.” He smirks.

“I’ve got a sweet tooth, what can I say?” She shrugs.

“You know, me too. Major sweet tooth.”

For whatever reason that makes her blush.

“Um, so I can I have it dipped in caramel and chocolate?”

“A woman after my own heart! I like mine the same way.” He picks up one of the apples from its stick and dips it in the chocolate first. “Any sprinkles or anything?”

“No, the sauces are fine, thank you.”

“So, where’s the-“

“Hi, Mr. Styles.” Riley says as she, Ben, and Joseph approach. “This is my dad.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Riley’s homeroom and biology teacher.” Harry hands you the apple once it’s done, and then shakes Joseph’s hand. “She’s a real pleasure to have in class.”

“So I’ve heard! Nice to hear it straight form the source, though.” There’s an awkward silence. “Um, well, kids do you want an apple?”

“Yeah!” Ben says and tells Harry what he wants.

Harry’s eyes catch Y/N biting into her apple, and how she licks around her lips. He looks a little too long because Joseph notices, and he clears his throat to snap Harry out of his trance.

“You two about ready to hit the road after this?” He asks them.

“Sure.” Riley shrugs. “Bye, Mr. Styles.”

“Have a good weekend, see you Monday.”

Y/N hugs both of the kids, and nods at Joseph.

“So…no kids this weekend?” Harry says to her.

“Nope. It’s funny, I always look forward to the little break, but by the time Sunday night hits I miss them.”

“Any plans?”

“Just relaxing. I’ll probably catch up on some sleep tomorrow. How about you?”

“A few of us are going to the pub after this…if you’d like to join, you’re welcome to.”

“Oh!” She says a little surprised. “Well, that would be great, actually. I haven’t really had time to explore some of the night life around here yet.”

“I could drive us from here if you like. I can always bring you back to your car.”

“You actually trust me to get into that fancy car of yours? I’m shocked.” She smirks, and he rolls his eyes.

“I apologized for that, didn’t I? Can we move on? Let me give you a ride later.”

“Alright.” She smiles. “Sounds like fun. It would be nice to get to know more people.”

“Great, I’ll find you later then?”

“Sounds good.” She walks away with her apple in hand, and he smiles.

After schmoozing with more alumni and donors, Y/N felt pooped. Did she really feel like going out and drinking? She could easily go home, draw herself a bath, and have a glass of fine all on her own. She had socially interacted so much today, and the thought of doing more was draining. Maybe she could go out with Harry another time. She tries looking around for him, but she’s not sure she spots him.

“Y/N!” She hears from behind her. “You ready?” Harry asks.

“About that…I think I’ve changed my mind…”

“How come?” He says with a slight frown.

“I was very social today, so I’m feeling a little tired. I don’t think I have enough pep in me for drinks tonight…but maybe another time?” She clasps her hands in front of her waist, feeling a little nervous all of a sudden.

“Oh, yeah, I definitely get that. Um, yeah, another time for sure.”

“Thanks, well, see you around, Harry.”

“See you…”

//

“Mum, we’re home!” Ben says Sunday evening as he and Riley come inside.

“Hey.” She smiles. “How was Dad’s?”

“Annoying.” Riley huffs. “I can’t stand Margaret. She, like, tries too hard to be our friends.”

“Mm, well, that’s what happens when a forty-year-old man decides to date a twenty-five-year-old woman. She probably knows how to babysit and be a pal.”

“Doesn’t it gross you out that he’s with someone so much younger?” Ben asks as he plops down on the couch.

“Of course it does. It won’t last long, unless she’s after his money.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why, it’s not like we were living the high life before.”

“Ew, what if he gets her pregnant.” Riley says with disgust. “I don’t want another little sibling, one is plenty.”

“Yeah, and then we’d have to pretend like we’re happy for him. I’m glad we didn’t have to do two nights over there this weekend.”

“Me too.” Riley sighs. “Did you do anything this weekend?” She asks Y/N.

“I just relaxed. Caught up on some TV, nothing special.” She shrugs. “Did you get all your homework done?”

“Yes.” They say in unison.

“Alright, go get ready for bed then.”

Riley and Chris meet at their lockers the next day at school and talk about their weekends. They chat in homeroom about their upcoming biology test. Chris was feeling a little nervous, but Riley was feeling confident. She studied almost all day Sunday. When it was last period, and Harry gave out the tests, her eyes bugged out. She read all of the questions over, and it wasn’t at all what she thought. She looked up at Harry dumbfounded. He was typing away at his computer, answering emails. She walks up to his desk with the test.

“Done already?” He jokes with a whisper.

“Mr. Styles…I don’t know any of this.”

“What do you mean? I gave you a study guide.”

“I…I know you did, but I left it at my mom’s, and so I was going off memory…I think I studied the wrong chapters by accident or something.” Her eyes were about to well up with tears.

“Alright, step out into the hall with me. Did you take notes while you studied?”

“Yeah.”

“Grab them for me.”

He stands up and goes out to the hallway to wait for her. A few of the kids in class were watching, but they get back to their own tests. She hands him her notes, and he makes a few humming noises.

“Right, yeah, you studied the wrong chapters.”

“Ugh, I knew it! So…does this mean I fail?”

“No.” He sighs. “It was an honest mistake, you’ll have to take a makeup exam after school sometime this week, though.”

“I can do it tomorrow! I would just need tonight to study. I could study in class now.”

“Get the rest of your things, I can give you a pass to the library.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Styles.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They both go back inside and she grabs the rest of her things. He writes her the pass and out the door she goes. Chris makes a motion for her to text him before she slips out, and she nods. Tuesday morning, just as Harry was sitting down at his desk with his coffee, he got an interoffice phone call from Y/N.

“Hello?” He answers, voice still deep from sleep.

“Hi, Harry, it’s Y/N.”

“I know…caller ID and all that.” He chuckles.

“Right, well, I wanted to say thank you for letting Riley take her test later this afternoon. She was a wreck last night when she got home.”

“It was an honest mistake. Plus, when I saw how much studying she did I knew I had to give her a chance to just take it later. Do you think she’s prepared enough for later?”

“Oh, definitely. She feels much better. Do you mind if Ben comes to sit in the classroom with her while she takes it? No sense in me zipping him home if she’s going to stay after.”

“Sure, I don’t mind.”

“You’re a life saver, thanks! Talk to you soon.”

“Bye-“ He’s cut off by the sound of the phone clicking on the other end.

Riley stays after class to take her test. Shortly after Ben shyly walks into the classroom and takes a seat. He does his own homework while she takes her test. Forty minutes later, Riley finishes her test, and hands it to Harry.

“I can grade it now if you like since it was all multiple choice.”

“That’d be great.” She smiles.

He looks at his answer key and checks off all her right answers. He writes 92% in big red ink and circles it.

“Well done. I can’t give it back to you until tomorrow, of course, but at least you can rest easy about it.”

“God, what a relief! Guess I’ll be a pro when we reach the chapters I already studied.”

“I bet you will be.”

“Do you mind if we hang out here until our mum’s done with work? She said she was just gonna pull up out front of the building.”

“Sure, I have some other grading to do anyways. In fact, would you like to help? It’s for another class, I could give you the answer key.”

“Yeah!”

Harry sets her up, and he even plays a little music for all of them.

“Mr. Styles?” A boy named Austin walks in. He was a sophomore in Riley’s class. “Thank god you’re still here.” He sighs.

“What’s up, Austin?”

“I was wondering if you graded my test yet? The football coach needs me to fill this progress report slip out. He’s making all of us do it.”

“Oh! Yeah, let me look. I can just tell you your overall grade. Have a seat, it’ll take me a minute.”

He nods and sits down, glancing at Riley briefly. She gives him a small smile and blushes.

“How come you’re here?” He asks her.

“Oh, I needed to make up the test from yesterday. I accidentally studied the wrong chapters.”

“Happens to the best of us.” He smirks. “You’re new to town, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You should come to the football game Friday, since it’s home.”

“Yeah, um, maybe I will.”

“Cool.”

“Alright, Austen, I’ve got your grade.”

He stands up and goes to Harry’s desk.

“Sick, a C+! That’s way better than I thought.”

“Let’s try to keep it that way, yeah?”

“I’ll do my best, thanks.” He walks out of the room and Riley puffs out some air.

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on that guy?” Ben chuckles.

“He’s so cute, I can’t help it. That’s the most he’s ever spoken to me, and now he wants me to go to the game. I have to go Friday, I need to text Chris.”

“If you go, can I go?”

“Sure.” She shrugs. “The more the merrier.”

Riley and Ben had always been close. They were practically best friends. They got a lot closer when their parents were going through the separation/divorce process, leaning on each other for a lot. Harry hear the sound of heels clacking on the floors outside the classroom, and there Y/N is appearing in the doorway looking lovelier than ever. She had a long coat on, synched at the waist, and her hair was down and wavy.

“Hi, kids, ready?” They both get up, and Harry stands as well. “Thanks for letting them hang out for a bit while I finished up.”

“It was no problem. Riley was pretty helpful to me with some grading.”

“How’d the test go?” She asks her daughter.

“Got a 92!”

“Amazing! I think that calls for takeout tonight.”

“You just don’t feel like cooking.” Ben chuckles.

“I’m sorry, are you complaining about getting Chinese food, or?”

“No! Just making an observation.”

“Mhm, okay, let’s go. Have a good night Mr. Styles.” She says to him.

“Same to you.”

On the ride home, Riley gets a text from Chris saying he’s down for the football game on Friday. She sighs with relief, and looks over her mother.

“So…can Ben and I meet up with Chris on Friday? We’d like to go to the football game.”

“A boy asked her to go!”

“Shut up, or you can’t come with me.”

“Hey!” Y/N says. “A boy asked you to go?”

“Well, sort of. He just said I should go if I wanted. I haven’t been to one yet, it could be fun. Chris said the snack bar is pretty stacked.”

“And you’ll keep an eye on your brother?”

“I’m only a year younger than her.” Ben scoffs.

“You’re in the eighth grade, that’s a big difference right now, even if it doesn’t feel like it. What time does the game start?”

“6:30, I think.”

“Sure, you can go. I think that’ll be good for you kids to go to.”

“Awesome, thanks Mum.”

//

“We’re gonna be there anyways, just ask her to tag along.” Niall says to Harry over lunch on Thursday.

“You make it seem like I wanna date her, I just think she’s cute.”

“Just ask her if she wants to go out with us after, would you?”

“Fine, I’ll give her a call right now.” Harry reaches for his phone, and looks up Y/N’s extension. She picks up on the second ring.

“Hey, Harry.”

“Hi, do you have a minute?”

“Sure! Is everything alright with Riley?”

“Yeah…this isn’t about her. It’s more of a personal matter.”

“Oh…what’s up?”

“Niall and I are chaperoning the football game tomorrow night. All of the faculty take turns doing it. We just walk around and make sure no one’s drinking underage. We were wondering if you’d like to join us. We’d be going to the pub after most likely too.”

“I don’t know if I should. Riley and Ben are going to the game, and I don’t want them to feel like I’m hovering around them, you know?”

Niall gestures for the phone and snatches it from Harry.

“Y/N? It’s Niall. Enough excuses, yeah? You’re coming out with us tomorrow night, and that’s final. You need to get more involved with student life.”

“I’m plenty involved!”

“You import and export donor data all day. I bet your kids won’t care.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Y/N did think about it, and then she asked Riley and Ben how they’d feel if she went. They said as long as she wasn’t up their butts they wouldn’t mind. It made things easier for her to drive them there at least. She watches as they meet up with Chris and essentially run off from her. She sighs and looks around for Niall and Harry, suddenly feeling like a loner.

“Oi, there she is!” Niall shouts, handing her a hot chocolate. “This should warm you up quick. You look cold.”

“I didn’t think it would be chilly enough for gloves.” She chuckles. “Thank you.”

“So, basically we just walk around, but we get to enjoy the game for the most part.” Harry explains.

“Is our team any good?”

“We’re decent, yeah. Think our lacrosse players are better to be honest, but they don’t get as much recognition.”

Y/N nods and takes a careful sip of her warm drink. She walks around with the guys, mostly listening to them talk in their accents. It was sort of fun to see all of the parents, staff, faculty, and students at the game cheering the team on.

“See that one, number 11?” Harry says to her, pointing towards the field. “That’s Austin, he asked Riley to come to the game. They’re in my bio class together. I think she likes him.”

“How can you tell?”

“I catch her looking at him from time to time. I might be wicked and assign them a project to work on together.”

“Teachers actually do that?!”

“Oh, sure.” Niall says. “I switch up the seating chart once a term just so I can pair people up. It’s pretty interesting to see what happens.”

“The students gossip to us all the time too.” Harry laughs. “They have no problem sharing personal information.”

“So…you think he might like Riley back?”

“I have no idea, he sits in front of her, and mostly just takes notes.”

“Is he nice?”

“He’s not a dolt if that’s what you’re asking. Definitely not your classic meathead, not to worry, Y/N.”

Y/N nods, and keeps walking around with the guys. The team wins, and everyone cheers. Riley, Ben, and Chris find her in the crowd of people near the exit.

“Mum, can we bowling?” Riley asks.

“With who?”

“Me, Miss Y/L/N.” Chris says and you raise your eyebrows. “Okay, and some of the cheerleaders and football players, but it’ll be fun! It’s cosmic bowling night. My dad said he could drive.”

“Please, Mum.” Ben pouts, and you roll your eyes.

“Alright.” She sighs, and takes her wallet out of her small sling bag. “Here’s some money, have fun. Home by ten, do you hear me? I’ll be out for a bit myself, just in case you get back before me.”

“Where are you going?” Riley asks.

“I’ve made some friends of my own.” She grins. “Go on, have fun.”

“Thank you!” They all say and head off.

“I can follow you both to the pub.” Y/N tells Niall and Harry, and they all walk to the parking lot.

She feels a little nervous going out with them. She had made a few friends so far, mostly her colleagues that she saw every day. There was this weird divide between faculty and staff, so she had noticed. So, Y/N wasn’t sure how welcomed she would be by the others they were meeting up with. She takes a deep breath before getting out of her car, and meeting Harry and Niall at entrance.

“You’re gonna love this place.” Harry says, putting a hand on her shoulder as they go inside. He leads her to a table where a few people were sitting already. “Oi, everyone, this is Y/N, she works in the development office.”

They all look at her and smile, saying hello. Niall takes his seat, and Harry has you sit between the two of them. Y/N learns the names of some other faculty members. Shane, Lora, and Jess. None of them had Y/N’s kids in class so she could rest easier. She found Harry and Niall to be hilarious, often almost choking on her drinks from laughter. She notices that Harry’s rolled his sleeves up, and can’t help but look at his tattoos. He explains a few of them to her. Around 10:05 she got a text from Riley.

Riley: just got in, thanks again for letting us go, it was amazing! When are you home??

Y/N: soon, baby, thanks for checking in

“Well, I should probably get going.” She says to Harry. “My kids just got home, and I don’t like leaving them alone too long when it’s late.”

“Fair enough, can I walk you to your car?” He says, leaning in a little bit. “Just so I know you left safely.”

“Sure, um, that’d be great.” She throws some bills on the table to take care of her tab. “Thank you all so much, I had a great time.”

“See ya, Y/N!” Niall says with a smile. She misses the wink he gives Harry, and Harry mouths ‘be cool’ at him.

“M’just gonna walk her to her car, I’ll be right back.” Harry says, addressing the group before heading out the door with Y/N. “You’re good to drive, right?” He says as they both walk outside.

“Of course, I only had, like, two drinks. You saw me nursing them.”

“Alright, just wanted to be sure.” He watches her fish for her keys out of her bag. “I’m glad you came out tonight.” He rubs the back of his neck. “You’re a lot of fun to be around.”

“Aw, thanks, you’re fun to be around too.” She smiles, biting her bottom lip. He can’t help but let his eyes drift to it.

“Are you in a rush to get home?”

“Well…I…”

“It’s not like they need you to tuck them in, right?”

“N-no…” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you…are you making a pass at me?” She was backed up against her car with him a comfortable foot away from her, but she was starting to feel warm.

“Maybe.” He shrugs, stepping a little closer. “Would you feel uncomfortable if I was?” She shakes her head no and swallows.

“Do you do this with all your students’ mums?” She smirks, gaining some confidence back.

“Well, considering that I was in a four year long relationship up until six months ago, I can confidentially say no.” She opens her mouth and smirks. “And no, I don’t usually do this with colleagues either.”

“So…why with me then?”

“You’re cute.” He grins.

“Harry, I…I’m not really looking for anything serious right now, I’ve just started a new job, I bought my own house, I’m juggling teenagers, I can’t start up a relationship.”

“I don’t think I asked you for that. In fact, I haven’t asked for anything, yet.” He says smugly. “M’not looking for anything serious either.”

“Alright, what do you want from me then?” He shifts his weight to his other hip, and just looks at her. Her eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. She looks around, and steps closer to him, barely any space between them now. “You…you want to have sex with me?”

“Why do you sound so surprised? I think you’ve really got it going on.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure, you really know how to fill out a pair of jeans. Your bum looked awfully cute at homecoming.”

“All this coming from the guy who was about ready to murder me for almost scratching his car.” She scoffs.

“I have apologized for that over and over, but clearly my words mean nothing to you…” He puts his hand on her shoulder. “Maybe there’s something else I could do to make it up to you.”

“You’re my kid’s teacher, Harry.”

“Not after 2PM I’m not. Right now I’m just a guy who wants to fuck you.”

“I can’t go back to your place with you right now.”

“My car’s got tinted windows and a spacious back seat.”

“How…how old are you, anyways? I mean, I’m thirty-three, Harry, and you’re a little baby faced. I’m not one of those people who-“

“I’m twenty-nine. Do you wanna go fuck in my car or not? It’s okay if you don’t, I’m not trying to pressure you, but it’s bloody cold out here and I wouldn’t mind warming up.”

Y/N hadn’t had sex with someone in since the last time her and Joseph had sex, which was a few years ago. She also couldn’t remember the last time she had sex in a car, probably when she was a teenager. Was she really about to do this with some she had just started to become decent friends with? Was this is the only reason he wanted to be friends with her?

“Is the only reason you’ve been wanting to invite me out? To get my pants off?”

“No! I genuinely think you’re nice to be around, but I also wouldn’t mind getting your pants off.” He smirks.

“Okay.” She nods. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

“Really?”

“Quickly, before I change my mind.” He grabs her by the wrist and tugs her towards his car. He unlocks his car and he lets her get in first. He reaches forward to turn the car on so the heat is on and there’s a little music playing. He goes to cup her cheek, and she backs away. “I’m a little nervous.”

“We don’t have to do anything crazy if you don’t want. We could just kiss if you like.”

“I just…it’s been a while for me, you know? Like, a long while, so…I want to, I’m just nervous.”

“How can I help you relax?”

“I guess…um…could I sit on your lap and maybe we could hug for a bit?”

“Sure.” He nods.

She moves to straddle him, and she wraps her arms around his neck. His go around her back, and he rubs her soothingly. He gets a good whiff of her perfume, and it makes him smile.

“Comfortable?” He asks softly. She hums her response and he holds her a little tighter. “I like whatever perfume you’re wearing.” He feels her giggle against him.

“It’s just apple spice.” She mutters into his neck, and moves to look at him. “Nothing special.”

“Well, I like it.” He tucks some hair behind her ear. “Would it be alright If I kissed you now?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

He licks his lips and presses them to hers. Her eyes flutter closed and she tugs at his hair. His hands squeeze her hips as the kiss deepens. He sucks on her bottom lip, and it makes her whimper. She rolls her hips down on his and he grunts. He kisses sloppily from her mouth, to her jaw, and to her neck. He mouths at her neck, full well knowing he can’t leave a mark, but it doesn’t stop him from licking and sucking a little over the area. She tugs at his hair a little harder and continues grinding against him, feeling his bulge getting harder. His lips move back to hers as his hands roam up her front, hesitating before reaching her breasts. She takes his hands and puts them over her boobs, squeezing his hands over them. He takes over from there, kneading them as best he could over her coat.

She gets frustrated, and get shimmies her coat off. He’s happy to see her nipples peeking through her shirt. He moves to suck on it through the material and she gasps. Her chest was heaving when he came off and looked up at her. Her hands move to unbutton her jeans, and he wastes no time sticking his hand inside. Instead of smirking when he feels how wet she is, he presses his lips back to hers, loving knowing that he was turning her on this much. His fingers move along her folds, and he slips his middle finger inside her gently. He groans when he feels how tight she is.

“Christ, you weren’t kidding. Do you never use anything at home?”

“Who the fuck has the time?!” She huffs as he starts bringing his finger in and out. “M’too exhausted half the time, and even when they’re gone I just do something quick.” A moan leaves her lips when his thumb starts to circle around her clit. Her forehead presses against his, and her eyes pinch closed.

He gets his ring finger inside her as well, and he curls them both up. She moves back and forth on him, riding his fingers. She makes fists with his shirt, and she starts panting. He groans from watching her, and just from the way she feels. He pets against her g-spot, and his thumb works into her clit.

“Oh, oh my god.” She says, biting her bottom lip. “I…I think I’m gonna come.” He doesn’t let up on her, doing his best to get her there. Her whimpers and whines were just egging him on. “Oh, shit, oh, shit!” She cries out as she comes around his fingers. He works her through it, and then retracts his fingers, sucking on them while making eye contact with her.

“Well?” He smirks.

“Do you have any condoms?”

“Yeah, get your pants the rest of the way off.” He lifts her off of him and places her on the seat while he reaches forward into the console, and grabs a condom.

“Aren’t you a little old to be leaving condoms in your car?” She says as he slips her jeans and underwear off.

“Wouldn’t be able to fuck you if I didn’t, would I?” He winks, and undoes his belt and jeans. “Think you’ll be able to ride me reverse, or do you need to go missionary to ease you into it.”

“Don’t be an asshole, I know how to have sex, it’s just bene a while.”

“I wasn’t! I don’t wanna hurt you.” Her eyes widen as he pulls his hard dick from his boxers, rolling the condom on.

“You think you’re the first guy with a larger prick to fuck me? Think I can handle it.”

“Now who’s being the asshole?” He chuckles and grabs her to bring her back to his lap, her back pressed to his chest. He reaches around to rub on her to make sure she’s still wet. “You want this still?”

“Yeah.” She lifts her hips and he lines himself with her, pressing up into center. It’s a tight squeeze, like she thought it would be, but she does her best to relax around him. She nearly shrieks once she’s sat fully on him.

“I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” He says into her ear before nibbling on her earlobe.

She hooks an arm around his head while he grips her hips, and her head falls back to his shoulder. He thrusts up into her while rubbing on her clit, and her mouth falls open. She hadn’t felt this good in a long time, this was incredible. She tugs on his hair and helps herself move on him so he doesn’t have to do as much work. He frees up one of his hands to grip and squeeze one of her breasts. She looks up at him and yanks his head down to hers. She licks into his mouth and he moans into her. He sucks on her tongue and her eyes roll back. Between that, his fingers on her slit, and his dick fucking up into her, she was about ready to lose it again. She pants into his mouth as she comes again. He thrusts begin to get sloppy, and then he’s spilling into the condom. They sit there for a moment catching their breaths before she moves off him.

They both get dressed, and Harry throws the condom into a nearby trashcan as he walks her back to her car. Her face was flushed, and she for sure looked like a mess, but she felt good. He cups her cheeks and backs her up against the driver’s side door, kissing her tenderly.

“That was fun.” He says.

“Yeah.” She breathes and looks down at her watch. It was already 11:30. “Shit, I really need to get home. Ben gets worried when I’m out late.”

“Sweet kid.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, get home safe and all that.”

“You too.” She smiles and opens her car door. He closes it for her once she’s inside, and she starts the car.

As Y/N drives home it starts to hit her what she just did. She just fucked her child’s biology teacher, who she also happens to technically work with. Never in her life had she done something like this. Maybe in her younger days she would have done something this rebellious, but she had grown up a lot, and she was a professional now. She takes a deep breath before keying into her home. She sighs when she sees the light from the TV coming from the living room. Riley and Ben were passed out on the couch.

“Hey, kids.” She coos. “Wake up, I’m home.”

“Mum?” Ben says sleepily. “Where were you?”

“I…I was out with friends, remember? Um, let’s get you both into bed.”

She turns the TV off as they both slowly make their way upstairs to their bedrooms. Once they’re both in their beds, she goes into her own room, and gasps once she gets a good look at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was smeared, and her hair was a mess.

“Christ, Y/N, what did you do?” She says to herself and sighs.

//

The next day, Y/N was walking around like she had a stick up her ass. Maybe her body wasn’t quite ready for someone of Harry’s size. Nevertheless, she had to get up and start her day. She got some laundry going, did some dusting, and then made some breakfast for the kids. They both come into the kitchen around 10.

“Can you both put your sheets in the laundry room for me? I’m doing a linen load in a bit.” They both nod as she puts two plates of eggs in front of them. “How was bowling?”

“So much fun!” Riley says. “I actually got a strike, I couldn’t believe it.”

“You did?! How’d you manage that?”

“Um…Austin helped me, you know the one in my bio class? He’s really nice.”

“Riley, I’m happy for you and all, but I don’t know if I want you dating yet.”

“I’m not dating anyone! At least I wasn’t the one who stayed out until nearly midnight doing god knows what.”

“I’m an adult, I can do what I want, that’s one. Two, if you and this boy decide you really like each other, I think it’s only fair I get to meet him.”

“Just because he helped me bowl a ball doesn’t mean anything.” She rolls her eyes.

“What about you, did you have fun?” Y/N sighs as she asks Ben.

“Yeah, I hung out in the arcade, it was sick.”

Just as she was sipping on her coffee, Y/N’s phone goes off. It was in front of Riley and Ben, and Riley furrows her brows.

“Who is it?” Y/N asks.

“Um…Mr. Styles. Why is he calling you?”

“I…I have no idea.” She snatches her phone quickly. “H-hello?”

“Hey, Y/N! Just wanted to see how you were.”

“I’m alright, um, I’m in the kitchen with the kids, could you just give me a second?” She leaves the room and goes down the hall to her home office. “Okay…um, how are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I just didn’t wanna be a dick and not call.”

“Well, that’s nice of you.” She blinks a few times.

“So…you feel okay about everything?”

“Yeah! Wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t. Little sore, but other than I’m good.” She chuckles slightly and so does he.

“Well, next time I can be a little gentler…if you’d like there to be a next time, that is.”

“You…you don’t want last night to just have been a one-time thing?”

“Not necessarily, I had a good time with you, and I think you had a good time with me.”

“I just…I don’t know how smart it would be to start something up with my kid’s teacher.”

“Well, you already sort of did…”

“Yes, but I think to continue it would be stupid. I don’t want to do anything that could potentially embarrass her. Riley and Ben are really starting to make friends. They were cool about moving here for me, so I want to be-“

“It’s not like we’re dating, Y/N. No one has to know.”

“As if you haven’t told Niall yet.” She scoffs.

“I mean he was curious as to why I didn’t come back to the bar last night, but I didn’t give him the full details. He knows how to keep things to himself.” He pauses for a moment. “Look, I get it, you’re just trying to be a good mum, I can admire that. But after a certain point you need to remember that it’s okay to do things for yourself.”

“Like fuck a guy in a parking lot?”

“Exactly!” He laughs. “You’re still so young, why not let yourself have some fun?

“Harry…”

“All I’m saying is, if you’re ever lonely, or if you can’t sleep…you can call me.”

“I’ll…I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to them. Probably wondering what we’re talking about.”

“Yeah.”

“Have a good rest of your weekend.”

“You too.”

She hangs up, completely shocked by the conversation she just had with Harry. She goes back out to the kitchen where the kids were waiting with raised eyebrows.

“What did Mr. Styles want?” Riley asks.

“Oh, um, someone left their wallet at the restaurant we all went to last night, that’s all. He was trying to figure out who it belongs to.”

“There was no ID in it?” Ben asks.

“Apparently not.” Y/N shrugs.

//

At first, Y/N wasn’t sure if she wanted to take Harry up on his offer. She genuinely didn’t want to make things difficult for Riley. When mid-November rolled around, it was time for parent-teacher conferences. These were the more serious one on one meetings before the holiday season to make sure students would be able to pass all of their classes. More often than not Y/N found herself meeting with Ben’s teachers than with Riley’s, but Y/N wanted to check in with everyone to make sure her kids were acclimating to the new school fine. What she wasn’t expecting was for Joseph to want to come to the conferences as well. She got away with blushing a little when they saw Niall. He didn’t make anything awkward, but it was when they made their way to Harry’s room that she was starting to feel like she wanted to vomit. The door swings open and two people walk out. Harry steps out and looks into the hallway, smiling when he sees you, then frowning when he sees Joseph.

“Mr. Davidson! How nice to see you again, please come in.” Harry says, gesturing to step inside. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi, Harry.”

“You can call me Joseph.” Joseph says as he sits down and Harry nods.

Harry and Y/N make eye contact briefly, and then he clears his throat.

“Well, I’m not sure why Riley signed you both up.” Harry chuckles. “She’s doing exceptionally well, and not just in my class. She’s a bright girl.” He takes out a few of her lab reports. “The first semester tends to be easier since we’re learning more about plants and those types of organism. Next semester we get into zoology and human anatomy. I always make it known there’s study groups and after school help. I try to make it as engaging and fun as I can. We even play a few rounds of operation.”

This makes you smile as Joseph furrows his brows at Riley’s lab reports. He nods along with what Harry is saying.

“I’m glad she’s doing so well. She was sort of a big fish in a small pond at her last school.” Joseph says. “I was a little worried she’d feel overwhelmed. This transition for them was really abrupt.”

“They had most of the summer to get used to things.” Y/N says, rolling her eyes. “This isn’t a snotty school either, the teacher’s actually help the students succeed.”

“I’m just saying-“

“Listen.” Harry cuts in. “Seems like you two might have some things to discuss that don’t really involve me. Riley’s doing great, and Niall tells me Ben’s doing just as great. Nothing really more to it.”

Joseph nearly had a decade on Harry, but Harry owned this room. Having Joseph be put in his place definitely did something for Y/N. She can’t help but smirk as Joseph sits up straight.

“Yes, well…thank you. We’ll make sure to relay the message to them.” He says and Harry nods. Joseph stands up, as does Y/N.

“Y/N, did you happen to drive separately? An alum emailed me today, and I have a couple of questions about our donation site.”

“Oh! Sure, I can stay a few moments.” She looks a Joseph. He stands there for a moment, looking between the two of them.

“Goodnight.” He says, and out the door he goes.

“So…what’s your question?”

“I didn’t actually have one.” Harry smirks at her and she blushes.

“Oh.”

“You seemed uncomfortable with him here.”

“I don’t exactly enjoy his company anymore.” She sits slightly on his desk.

“I know, shit like that is just awkward. Francie and I still have some mutual friends, and we’ve had to be at a few of the same parties since the breakup.”

“Can I ask…I mean, you said you were together for four years and engaged…what happened?”

“Why don’t we have this conversation over drinks?” He stands up, grabbing his keys and jacket.

“Harry…it’s a school night.”

“And? It’s only seven. Not like we’re gonna be out all night are we?”

“I have two kids at home.”

“You have two teenagers at home. Come on, just one drink and I’ll tell you everything.”

“And then what?”

“Whatever you want.” He winks and leads you out the door.

//

Y/N texted the kids to let them know she was just grabbing a quick bite, and that she was very proud of their hard work. She followed Harry to a pub, and they grab a booth inside. They each order a drink and munch on some popcorn.

“Alright.” He sighs. “So I was with Francie for four years, and we were engaged for all of five months. It was working out great, we were living together, had a couple of pets, you name it. She works for this tech company, right? So, she got promoted, which was great, but it would have involved her to start traveling a lot, and eventually moving to New York. I didn’t want to move, and she didn’t want to do long distance.”

“Why didn’t you want to move? You could have found another school to work at…”

“It was the principal of the thing! She didn’t even ask, she just expected it, like her job was more important than mine. We started arguing more and more, and when I asked her why we couldn’t just try long distance she said that would make things difficult to start a family, and I said we already had a family, and that opened up a can of worms. She wanted kids and I didn’t. After that we ended it. She took our dog and cat, and left.”

“She took the pets?!”

“Yup! Left me the ring though.” He scoffs.

“Wait…so you don’t want kids?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, I love babies especially. But…I just don’t see myself being a dad.” He shrugs. “It’s a lot of responsibility, a lot of money too. I don’t know if I could take care of someone else. And maybe…when she said it…I had this thought of if I did want kids I wasn’t sure if wanted her to be the mother of them.”

“It took you that long to have that kind of conversation?”

“What about you? Did you and your ex have a proper discussion about it?”

“No, he knocked me up, proposed later that year, and we got married in a courthouse while I was seven months pregnant.” She finishes her drink. “Just like a fairytale. Then when he promised we could have a real wedding, I got pregnant with Ben, and all that money went to him. S’alright, though, it would have been a waste of money.”

“Can I ask why you got divorced?”

“Well, the age difference was one thing. He’s seven years older than me, which may not seem like much, but it was. I felt like I couldn’t talk to him sometimes. Then he decided to cheat on me with some other young thing, so we went from separated to divorced real quick.”

“I’m so sorry.” He frowns slightly.

“Don’t be, it was a while ago. I think things worked out for the best. We’re all doing better now.”

“I think it’s admirable that you’ve turned your life around the way you have.”

“Thanks.” She smiles and he finishes off his drink. Once they pay their tab they head out. “I think it’s too cold to do what we did last time.”

“And I couldn’t persuade you to come back to my place for a bit?”

She looks down at her watch and sees it’s already 8:30. She sighs, biting her bottom lip.

“I…I want to, and if I didn’t have two kids at home waiting for me I would. Maybe…maybe you should find someone else to be your little fuck buddy. I’m not easy to be with.”

“Maybe that’s what I like about you.” He says, leaning forward so his lips brush yours, kissing you quickly before backing away. “Have a good night, Y/N.”

She groans once she’s in the car. When she gets home both Riley and Ben are in their rooms unwinding. She says hello and goes to her own room to get ready for bed. Y/N wonders what she would have done with Harry at his place. How he would have touched her and kissed her all over. She sighs and gets into bed, aggravated as fuck.

//

It was Thanksgiving weekend when Y/N took her next shot with Harry. The kids spent Thanksgiving day with her, and they had the rest of the weekend to be with Joseph. When Saturday night rolled around she was bored and lonely, so she called him.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hi, Y/N. Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”

“I did…although, I have way too many leftovers.”

“You don’t say?”

“Yeah! Um, you wouldn’t happen to be hungry, would you?”

“Starved.”

“Great, well, if you’d like to come over you can.”

“I can be there within the house. Just text me your address.”

He had assumed Riley and Ben weren’t home. He needed to take a quick shower before coming to see her, and she needed to do the same. She wanted to be as fresh as possible for him. When she heard the doorbell, she raced down the stairs to open it.

“So, I can heat up whatever-mph!” He had gripped her cheeks and pulled her into him, kissing her passionately.

“I didn’t actually come here to eat.” He breathes. “Well, I did…but not food.” He smirks and lifts her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and kisses on his neck as he carries her upstairs. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Last door on the right.” She mumbles into his hot skin.

He gets her in the bedroom, and sets her down. He starts taking his clothes off, and she does the same. He knees onto the bed to hover over her, and he kisses her, sucking on her bottom lip.

“Glad you finally called me for this.” He says as he licks around her nipple.

“You could have called me.”

“Didn’t want to look any more desperate.”

He nips at her stomach as he works his way down, giving her little to no warning before he licks into her. She gasps, gripping onto his hair. She bites her bottom lip as she feels his warm tongue lapping away at her. He sucks on her clit and slips two fingers inside her.

“When was the last time someone made you feel this good, hm? When was the last time someone made you this wet?”

“Wh-whenever the first time we hooked up was.” She whimpers.

“And before that?” He kitten licks at her clit now.

“God, I have no idea!” She moans out as his fingers pet inside her against her g-spot. He struggles to get a third finger in, so he doesn’t bother.

“Tighter than a fucking finger trap you know that?”

“I told you, I don’t make time to-oh!”

He started sucking on her clit again, and pumping his fingers quickly. She was squirming underneath him, panting and moaning loudly. She cries out as she comes, and he pumps his fingers slowly as her hips move along with his motions.

“Condoms?” He asks when he pops up.

“You don’t me to, um…?”

“Another time, I don’t think I’d last very long if you sucked on me.” He had been rutting himself against the mattress. She nods and reaches into her bedside drawer for a condom she toss it to him and watches as he rolls it on. “Roll over.”

She does as he says, and gets on her elbows and knees for him. He grips her hips, and lines himself up with her, pushing inside. It’s a tight squeeze, but he gets in no problem. They both moan out from the feeling. He reaches around to rub her clit, and she collapses onto the bed.

“God, just do what you want with me, Harry.” She grunts, and he moans from behind her.

“You’re so fucking sexy, you have no idea. Come for me, Y/N, come on.”

She cries out into her pillow, and he spills into the condom. Somehow after they both got cleaned up they ended up back in bed together. Harry through his arm around Y/N and pulled her to his chest.

“What are you doing?” She giggles.

“Cuddling you.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like it.”

She laughs, but doesn’t fight him on it. Then…they fell asleep. It was a total accident, Harry never intended to spend the night. He just wanted to cuddle for a bit before heading out. He was more tired than he thought, and so was she. She nudges him awake.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He says, knuckling at his eyes.

“It’s okay. Would you like to take a shower with me?”

“I would.” He smiles and gets up with her.

It was the dirtiest shower she had ever taken. He had gotten on his knees to eat her out, and then he lifted her up, fucking her into the bathroom tile wall. She left many scratch marks on his back, and then he came on her stomach. They got cleaned up for real after that, and headed downstairs for some coffee. Just as she was about to offer him some breakfast, she heard the front door open.

“Oh my god!” She whisper screams. “They’re not supposed to be back until later!”

“Be cool, Y/N.” Harry says.

“But-“

“Mum, we’re…Mr. Styles?” Riley says as she comes in with Ben. “What…what’s going on?”

“I should ask you the same. Why’s your father bring you back so soon?”

“We asked if he could.” Ben says. “Can only handle so much of his girlfriend.”

“So…Mr. Styles, um, no offense, but what are you doing here?”

“Well, your mum just so happens to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She had all these leftovers and asked me if I’d like any, and I said yes. I may be a Brit, but I love Thanksgiving dishes. So I came right over. Just got here a couple minutes before you did.”

“Yeah, I was just about to pull the food out. Why don’t you two go put your things away?”

Riley furrows her brows, but shrugs it off, and goes with Ben upstairs.

“You’re quick on your feet.”

“Wasn’t a total lie.” Harry says, finishing his coffee. “I better get going.” She walks him to the front door, and he gives her a sneaky kiss along with a bum squeeze. “See you soon, I hope.”

“Definitely.” She smiles. “Bye.” She opens the door for him and out he goes. She sighs happily, and goes into the kitchen to make a little breakfast.

//

Riley was a little suspicious after that morning. She spent most mornings in homeroom analyzing Harry’s features. He was his usual chipper self, but there was certainly an extra pep in his step. Then in biology it was the same thing.

“Riley?” Austin was standing in front of her desk, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Oh, hey.” She smiles. “What’s up?”

“Are you free this Friday?”

“I…I think so.”

“Would you wanna go to the movies?” He runs a hand through his hair and she swallows.

“This is gonna sound really lame, but I need to ask my mom first.”

He chuckles slightly at that.

“No worries, let me know if she says yes.”

“I will.” Austin goes to his seat, and Riley looks at Chris who was giving her a thumbs up.

“Alright, if we could all settle down?” Harry says. “Today we’re going over fungi cells so I need all of your attention on me.”

Harry liked attention in general, probably one of the reasons he wanted to be a teacher in the first place. He just happened to also enjoy biology and he was good at explaining it to the youths. During class Riley felt her phone buzz, and saw she had a text from Ben.

Ben: reminder that I have a doctor’s appointment, so you have to wait after school for Mum to come get you

Riley: okay thanks, I’ll just go to the library to wait for her

“Riley!” She snaps her eyes up at the harsh tone from her teacher. “Is that your phone?”

“Y-yes…I’m sorry, Mr. Styles, my brother-“

“I don’t care.” He shakes his head. “You know the policy.” He gestures for her to give it to him.

“But he was just-“

“Is it an emergency?”

“No.”

“Alright then, give it here.” Everyone was looking at her, and it made her face flush. She gets up and walks towards him to hand over her phone. He takes it puts it in his desk drawer. “You can have it back after class.”

She nods, and goes back to her seat. After class she walks out, completely forgetting she had her phone taken away. She gets settled in the library, and gets some homework done. She was there for over an hour until Y/N showed up in a huff.

“Riley Davidson, I’ve been calling you for fifteen minutes!”

“Mum, be quiet!”

“If your brother hadn’t told me you were in the library I never would have found you. Where the hell is your phone?”

“It’s…oh shit.” She says as she packs up.

“What?”

“I forgot that Mr. Styles took it from me.”

“He what?!”

“Ben texted me while I was in class, and I texted back. He caught me, and took it away from me. It’s the policy.”

“I don’t give a fuck, that’s your property. Come on, hopefully he’s still here.”

He was. When they walk in, he was writing something on the whiteboard, furrowing his eyebrows. Looked like it was a chemistry equation. Y/N clears her throat to get his attention.

“Oh, hello ladies.”

“Where do you get off taking my daughter’s phone?”

“Oh! I completely forgot about that. You left right after class, Riley.” Harry goes into his desk and grabs the phone. “Here you are.”

“Thanks.” She says as she swipes through to check any notifications she may have missed.

“It’s the policy, Y/N.”

“What if I got in a car accident and someone needed to reach her? Then what?”

“Did that happen?” He crosses his arms.

“No, but it could have.”

“But it didn’t. There’s no texting in class, no phone use of any kind, actually.”

“Mum, it’s fine, we can-“

“Excuse me, but that’s her property. If I need to get in touch with her, or if her brother does, then she should be able to send a quick text. It’s not like she was scrolling through Instagram.”

“But she could have been.”

“But she wasn’t!”

“Maybe you should hover over a little less, hm? Kids rely on their phones so much because their parents are constantly trying to see what they’re up to.”

Y/N takes her keys out from her purse, and hands them to Riley.

“I’m parked out front, go start the car for me. I’ll be just be another minute.” Riley nods and leaves quickly, knowing how bad it can be to be scolded by her mother. She certainly didn’t want to watch her favorite teacher get bitched out. “You don’t have kids, so I wouldn’t expect you to understand-“

“I have dozens of kids, actually. Ones that come to see me to talk to me about their problems, I’m also always studying trends of the today’s students, so don’t stand there and-“

“Do not interrupt me when I’m speaking.” She says firmly, and he closes his mouth. “You may speak when I’m finished, Mr. Styles. I’m a single mom doing my best for my kids. I will not be lectured in front of my daughter about being a helicopter parents because I’m not. However, I’m doing the job of two while my ex gets to be a weekend dad, who my kids don’t even want to see. It’s my fault Ben texted her at the time he did, alright? I asked him to remind her that I wouldn’t be picking her up until later because I had to take him to a doctor’s appointment.”

“May I?” She gestures that he can speak. “She didn’t need to text him back right then. It’s the school policy to take a phone away if we see it out, I was just doing my job.”

“Well, you should have remembered you took it so you could have given it back to her! I was sitting in the car for nearly twenty minutes waiting for her, I was starting to get worried.” Y/N pouts, and even though this was a very serious matter, Harry couldn’t help notice the blood starting to flow right to his prick.

“I’m very sorry about that.” He puts his hand on her shoulder, and she glances at it before looking at him. “I take ownership for that mistake. I feel terrible that I even caused an ounce of worry. If there’s anything I can do to make it better, please let me know.” His tone was condescending and seductive all at the same time.

She places her hand on his and removes it from her shoulder.

“Have a nice evening.” She says.

“Same to you.” He smirks.

Y/N makes her way to her car, and sighs heavily once she’s in there with Riley.

“Please don’t tell me you just yelled at him. He’s my favorite teacher, Mum.”

“No, we had a very adult conversation, and he apologized for not giving you back your phone when he should have after class.”

“I guess I could’ve waited to text Ben back. I’m sorry I caused all this.”

“It’s not your fault, honey, it’s fine.” She smiles at her daughter and they make their way home.

“I…I was asked to the movies this Friday, can I go?”

“With who?”

“Austin.”

“I’d like him to come to the house first so I can meet him properly. You’ve been hanging out in groups with him. Would this be one on one?”

“I think so. I can ask him if he minds coming inside first before we go.”

“That would be great.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Are you…are you and Mr. Styles, like, seeing each other?”

“What would ever give you that idea?!”

“I just think it’s weird that he was at our house.”

“We’ve become friends, you know I hang out with him and Mr. Horan sometimes.”

“Yeah, but Mr. Horan wasn’t there. It was just you and Mr. Styles, and you both had wet hair.”

“I had showered before he swung by, he must have done the same.” Y/N shrugs. “We’re just friends, honey, nothing more.”

“Okay.”

Y/N could tell Riley didn’t quite believe her, but she knew her daughter wouldn’t press her on it more for now. Not if she wanted to go to the movies with Austin.

//

“It’s nice to meet you, uh-“

“You can just call me Miss Y/L/N, it’s nice to meet you too, Austin.” Y/N smiles. They were all standing in the front hall. “So…it’s just you two going to the movies?”

“That’s the plan.” He says with an innocent smile.

“Have her home by 10:30, please.”

“Can do.”

“Thanks, Mum.”

“Have fun.” She sighs and turns around to Ben. “What about you? No plans?”

“Not tonight. I was just gonna play video games.”

“Well, if you’d like to have a friend over-“ Her cell phone goes off and she furrows her brows. “One second, sweetie.” She goes into the kitchen for some more privacy. “Harry?”

“Hey, what are you up to tonight?”

“Hanging out with my son…why?”

“Oh, they’re not with their dad this weekend?”

“No, they were with him last weekend.” She sighs.

“Damn.”

“Why?”

“Well, Niall and a few other people were gonna go to this place where you can throw axes, and we thought you’d like to come.”

“That sounds like…fun? Um, but I can’t just leave Ben here alone. I’d feel terrible since Riley’s out.”

“Hey, Mum?”

“Honey, I’m on the phone.”

“I know, sorry, Kyle just texted me and asked me if I wanted to sleep over. I know it’s last minute, but-“

“You can go! You can definitely go, I’ll even drop you off.”

“You’re the best! I’m gonna go pack up my stuff.” Ben races out of the kitchen.

“Guess that just solved itself.” Harry says.

“Guess so.”

“Let me come pick you up. Text me when you get back from dropping him off, yeah?”

“Alright.”

Y/N gets herself ready, and then drives Ben to Kyle’s house for his sleepover.

“Why do you look so nice?” He asks on the way there.

“Well, I made plans with my own friends since you and Riley are out. Is that okay?” She chuckles.

“S’fine.” He shrugs. “Feel like you’ve been going out a lot lately. Are you, like, dating?”

“No, baby, I’m not dating. But I am making good friends, which has been nice. I didn’t have many friends back in our old town. Too many judgey moms.” She pulls up to Kyle’s house. “Have a great time, call me if you need me.”

“I will, thanks!”

She watches Ben go inside, and then she makes her way back home to wait for Harry. She liked his car a lot, and it would be nice to actually go for a drive in it, instead of just riding him in it. Y/N was shocked when she heard the doorbell.

“You didn’t have to come to the door.” She says as she steps outside.

“Sure I did. I may be just trying to fuck, but I’m a gentleman at the end of the day.” He smirks as he opens the car door for her. She rolls her eyes at him, and climbs in.

“This really is a nice car.” She says as she looks around.

“Saved up a long time for it.” He places his hand on her thigh as he backs out of the driveway, and he keeps it there.

“So, an axe throwing place?”

“It’s all the rage right now. You can drink and throw axes, it’s pretty cool. I’ve been once before it’s a hoot.” He chuckles and squeezes her thigh slightly. “I’m glad you were able to get out for a bit.”

“Me too.”

She lets him keep his hand on her leg for the entire ride as they chat over the music. He parks the car, and gets out, jogging around to the other side to open the door for her. She smiles at him, and they both head inside. He even gets them their drinks from the bar. It was starting to feel like a date, especially when she only saw Niall with one other person, some woman she had yet to meet.

“Y/N, this is my girlfriend Anna.” Niall says.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Y/N says to her. Harry comes over and hands her a drink. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. We all set?” He asks Niall.

“Yeah, we all just need to sign the release forms.”

They all sign and are brought over to the axe throwing area. They’re told how to do it, and they get going. Harry and Niall go first, and of course their axes stick. Y/N takes a deep breath, and throws her, but it doesn’t stick.

“That’s alright, give it another go.” Harry encourages her.

“I…I don’t think I threw it quite right.” She says to him.

“Would you like some help?” She nods yes at him and he steps closer to her, putting his hand on her back. “You need to release from this point, okay? Give it all you got.” He steps back and lets her throw it. It sticks and she squeals, turning to hug him. “I knew you could do it!”

Anna hits her target as well. The four of them were having a great time. Once their time is up, they all grab table for food. Y/N checks her phone, it was just about nine. No texts from the kids. She hoped Riley was having a nice time on her date, and that Austin was being respectful during their movie.

“Miss?” The waitress says to her.

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. Um…” She looks at the menu and then to Harry. Everyone else had clearly ordered.

“She’ll have the same as me, thanks, love.” Harry hands the waitress the menus and then looks at Y/N. “You like turkey burgers, right?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. My daughter’s on her first date, and I was just checking my phone to see if she had text me or anything.”

“You have a daughter that’s old enough to date?!” Anna says, shocked. “What’s your secret, girl? You look fantastic!” She laughs, and so does everyone else.

“I was a young mum, nothing more than that.” Y/N chuckles. “She’s only fourteen, a freshman out with a sophomore boy from her biology class. It’s cute, really, he’s on the football team and she’s been to a few of his games. They’ve been hanging out in groups, but tonight is the first one on one.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Listen to me, it sounds like I’m recapping an episode of The Bachelor.”

“Do you have any other kids, or just the one?” Anna asks.

“I have a son, Ben, he’s thirteen. Niall’s his teacher actually.”

“Yup, great kid. Harry has Y/N’s daughter in class too.” Niall tells her.

“Is that how you two met?” Anna asks, and you smirk.

“No, actually, the three of us met because I parked too close to Harry’s precious car in the staff lot. I work in our development office.” She sips her drink smirking at Harry who had slumped in the booth. “He yelled at me, it was quite the meet cute.”

“Yikes, I’ve never seen Harry yell before.” Anna says. “You’re usually so calm.”

“I’ve had that car for two years, not a scratch on it, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Harry says. “It’s all water under the bridge now.” He puts his arm around Y/N, smiling down at her.

There’s more talking during the meal. Y/N really liked the turkey burger Harry had ordered for her. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. It was about ten, and Y/N wanted to get home before Riley like a responsible adult. She tells Harry this, and he nods.

“It was really nice meeting you, Anna.” Y/N tells her again.

“Same to you, have a nice night.” They all part ways in the parking lot. “Oh, I like her so much better than Francie already.” She tells Niall.

“Me too.” Niall sighs. “But you know they’re not really dating.”

“I know, I know, but this was a very nice glimpse for them to see what a date could be like. They were so cute with each other.”

“I agree, I just think Harry’s still on the rebound. I also don’t think he’s mature enough to be dating a woman with two teenagers. Little kids maybe, but teenagers? That’s a lot to take on. Besides, what if he wants kids? Y/N’s in her early thirties, she probably wouldn’t want more.”

“Isn’t that what Harry and Francie broke up over? She wanted kids and he didn’t.” Anna shrugs. “Let them figure it out.”

Y/N and Harry were parked in her driveway making out. The damn console was in the way, but he was still able to get his tongue into her mouth. Her hands were in his hair, tugging him closer to her even though she knew she needed to get out of the car.

“Harry.” She breathes as he starts kissing on her neck. “I…I need to go inside. I can’t be out here like this when Riley gets home.” She gasps when she feels his teeth nip at her skin, and then he pulls away, almost glaring at her.

“Man, nothing to kill a hard on more than a mention of a student’s name.” He huffs.

“I told you…this might be easier for you if you wanted to fuck someone without kids.”

“Well, I’m kinda hooked on you now, so I can’t do that.” His thumb brushes her bottom lip as he cups her cheek. He leans in to kiss her again. “Do you think we could get together tomorrow since it seems like we can’t fool around tonight?”

“Sure, I have some errands I need to run anyways, so I can add you to the list.” She winks. “I’ll text you.”

“Alright, sounds good.” He chuckles. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“So did I, goodnight.” She smiles and hops out of the car. She quickly gets herself inside.

Harry backs out of the driveway just as Austin pulls up with Riley.

“Whoa, who do you know with a range rover?” Austin asks.

“That’s…Mr. Styles’ car.” She swallows as she watches him drive away. “He’s friends with my mom. She texted me saying she was seeing some friends tonight, I guess he drove her.”

“Cool.” Austin says. “I’ll walk you to your door.” He does so, and they linger there for a moment. They hug each other, and he gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Can we do this again sometime?”

“I’d like that.” She smiles.

“Great, well, have a good night.”

“You too. Thanks again.” Her heart soars as she goes inside. She finds Y/N sitting on the couch watching TV.

“How was the movie?”

“Really funny.” Riley plops down next to her. “Where’s Ben?”

“Sleeping at Kyle’s.”

“Oh, nice. So…where did you go tonight?”

“To this axe throwing place. It was fun, look.” She takes her phone and shows Riley a video of her throwing an axe and it sticking to the wooden target.

“Cool! You went there with Mr. Styles?”

“Mhm, and Mr. Horan and his girlfriend Anna.”

“Oh my god, Mum.” Riley gasps. “You went on a double date!”

“I did not.” Y/N scoffs.

“Did Mr. Styles pay for anything?”

“Well…yeah, he did, but he said it was just easier.” Riley gives her a look. “What?”

“Mum, he definitely was making a move!”

“And what do you know about moves, hm?”

“Apparently more than you. You two should go out one on one and see how it goes.”

“I’ve done that with him before.” Y/N shrugs. “We’re just friends, Riley.”

“He drove you tonight, right? I saw him pulling out of the driveway when I got home.”

“He offered to drive, yeah, and I accepted. He’s got a really nice car, thought it would be fun to go for a ride in it.” Y/N blushes slightly, annoyed at her own innuendo. “I’m not dating your teacher, don’t worry.”

“I wouldn’t hate it.” Riley shrugs. “You deserve to have someone, Mum. Dad’s out there with miss thing living what he perceives as his best life, you should do the same.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.” Y/N sighs. “I don’t have time for it. If Ben hadn’t gone to Kyle’s I wouldn’t have been able to go out tonight.”

“He can stay at home by himself.”

“But I would have felt bad about it. I like being home when you guys are home.”

“We’re not babies, that’s all I’m saying.” She twiddles her thumbs. “Plus, he’s super cute, so-“

“Riley!” Y/N chuckles and throws a pillow at her. “Don’t talk about your teacher like that.”

“He is! I don’t have a crush on him, but anyone with eyes can see how cute he is, Mum.”

“I’ll agree with that, he’s very cute.” She yawns. “Well, now that you’re home I’m gonna go up to bed. Was Austin respectful and all that tonight?”

“Very.” Riley smiles. “He asked me if I wanted to do it again sometime. I’m excited about him.”

“It’s a nice feeling, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N hoped the feeling would never fade for her daughter because she knew all too well how it felt when it does.

//

The next day, after Ben got dropped off, Y/N told the kids she was going out to run some errands, and asked them to get some chores done while she was gone. She genuinely needed to get some things while she was out, so she did that before going over to Harry’s. It felt odd to be going over to his place in the middle of the day for a dick appointment, as the kids would say, but this was happening. She pulls up to a nice duplex, and she recognizes Niall’s car in the other driveway. She texts Harry that she’s down front, and she sees the front door open on one side. She gets out of her car and greets him.

“Find it alright?” He says to her as he lets her in.

“Mhm, this is a cool place.”

“Thanks, Niall and I bought it together, like, five or so years ago. We fixed up one side and then the other.”

“So he gets one side and you the other?”

“Yup, worked out well. I’ve redecorated recently, for, um, obvious reasons.”

“Right, trust me I know how hard it can be living in the same place where good and bad memories were made.”

“Is that why you came out here?”

“One of the reasons she sighs as she kicks her shoes off. “I needed a fresh start.”

He hums his response as he cups her jaw in his large hands, bringing his lips to hers.

“How long do you have?” He says against her lips.

“An hour at most. I have to go to the grocery store after this.”

“Oh.” He smirks. “You won’t be going to the store after this.”

“Wh-why not?” She swallows.

“Because you’re not gonna be able to walk when I’m done with you.” He bends down and lifts her up over his shoulder and she squeals.

“Harry!” She giggles as he brings upstairs to his room. Fuck, he was strong. “What will I tell my kids when I’m walking funny?”

“Tell them good old Mr. Styles cracked your spine in half, I’m sure that’ll go over well.” He drops her on his bed, and gets his shirt off. She looks up wide eyed at him. “Oh, love, I’m not actually gonna do that.”

“I know, I’ve just never seen your tattoos in the daylight like this. I mean when we showered I sort of did, but…they’re so pretty.”

His features soften and he picks her up again, getting himself on the bed and laying her down. He sucks on her bottom lip as she wraps her arms and legs around him. His hands work to undo her jeans, and he tugs them down past her bum. She kicks them off the rest of the way, and he pets her over her underwear. She moans into his mouth, and his dips his fingers inside, sliding along her slit. She could feel him growing hard against her hip.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you blow me for a bit?”

“Of course! Lay down.”

He gives her a relieved smile and lays back on the bed. She gets between his legs and does his pants. She gets them off and tugs his boxers down. She kisses his tip first, then gives his shaft kisses before licking him up and down. She looks up at him and sees he’s already watching her. She smirks and wraps her lips around his tip, sinking down on him as much as she could.

“Yeah, just like that.” He groans. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

She moans against him and bobs her head up and down. This wasn���t her favorite thing to do in the world, but she didn’t mind do it for it for Harry since he was so attentive with her. She gets him to the brink of coming, and then he pulls her off of him. He gets her naked, and opens her legs up, diving right in. The flat of his tongue sliding up her center to her clit. He sucks both of her lips, one at a time before focusing on her clit again. Two of his fingers slip inside her, and her eyes roll back. He has her crying out moments later, and before she knows it he’s getting a condom on.

“Can I go on top?” She asks.

“Sure.” He shrugs and lays down, his cock stiff and ready for her.

She swings her leg over him, and rubs his tip over her clit before sinking down on his. His hands grip her hips as she moves around in a circle to get comfortable. She moves herself on and off his cock, enjoying the stretch he’s giving her. When she gets a little tired she comes down to him chest to chest, and kisses him. His hands slide to her ass, and he moves her on him. He thrusts in and out of her, and she moans into his neck.

“Like the way I feel like this?” He grunts.

“Yes, fuck.” She mumbles. Her clit was rubbing against him perfectly, and she was trying to concentrate on that. “Don’t stop what you’re doing.” She tugs at his hair and he nearly growls.

He thrusts into her faster and faster, it has her panting and moaning. His tip was hitting her g-spot, so the whole thing was really overwhelming. She moans out his name loudly as she comes, and he fucks her through it. He lifts her off of him, and sets her down on her stomach. He gets behind her and pushes back inside. She gasps, but it feels good. He fucks her from behind until he comes, and collapses on top of her. He holds her for a moment before pulling out and getting rid of the condom. She uses the bathroom, and gets dressed. He throws on a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt.

“Thanks for adding me to your list of errands.” He says to her as they stand in his front hall. She giggles into his chest as he hugs her and kisses the top of her head.

“My legs are working just fine, by the way. But I’m too tired to go grocery shopping now.”

“Well, you only gave me a bloody hour, love, and you made me come really fast.” He pouts. “Can’t seem to last that long with you.”

“Maybe you should jerk off before I come over next time so you can handle it.” She grins and he rolls his eyes.

“You came twice didn’t you?” She nods yes. “Alright then, quit your complaining. Go on, get outta my house.” He pats her bum and kisses her one more time. “Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

“You too.” Y/N drove home with a smile on her face the whole way.

//

Things were like this most weekends, especially when the kids were at Joseph’s. Harry would come over on Friday night instead of Saturday in case he fell asleep. Plus if he stayed the night that meant they could have sex most of the day Saturday, which was really nice. Y/N was having a lot of fun with Harry. Sometimes they’d meet up with Anna and Niall to go bowling, or catch a movie. In a way it felt like dating, but there was absolutely zero pressure. It was the exact companion ship she had hoped for.

When the holidays rolled around, she got the kids for Christmas, and Joseph got them for New Year’s, which meant Y/N could go to the party Harry was having. Apparently it was an annual thing. There were a lot of people from school there so she felt right at home. Y/N hadn’t had a New Year’s kiss in quite some time, so it wasn’t even on her mind until all of the couples migrated towards each other as it got closer to midnight.

Harry was wandering through his home trying to find her. She was in the kitchen refilling her drink. He lets out a sigh of relief. He could hear people starting the countdown.

“Christ, there you are!” He says to her, pulling her into him.

“You were looking for me?”

“Course I was, who else am I gonna kiss, hm?” They hear everyone yell ‘one’ and he plants one on her. She thought it would be a simple peck since there were people around, but no, Harry full on kissed her. “Happy New Year.” He breathes and then kisses her forehead.

“Happy New Year.” She says faintly as he walks away from her to continue being a good host. She was one of the last people there, feeling drained at nearly two in the morning. She was getting her coat, about ready to say goodbye when he looked at her funny. “What?”

“Where do you think you’re going at this hour?”

“Home.”

“Nope, sorry, m’afraid you’re staying with me tonight. Get that coat off, now.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“Is that so?”

“it is.” He nods, and she smirks at him stepping closer to him.

“Make me.” She grins and his eyebrows raise.

“Right.”

Before she knows it she’s being picked up and carried to his room. They both giggle as he gets her in his room. He gets her jacket and boots off, and he tosses her one of his bed shirts.

“What’s this for?” She asks as she holds the shirt up.

“To sleep? Can’t fuck you right now, I’m knackered.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “Alright, well, thank you. Um…you wouldn’t happen to have a spare toothbrush and a washcloth then would you?”

“Sure, I’ll pull that out of the linen closet for you, one second.” He leaves the bedroom and comes back shortly and gives her what she asked for.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” He shrugs and starts taking his clothes. “Feel free to use the bathroom first.”

She nods and does so. She liked the way his shirt fit, how it hugged her thighs and just barely covered her bum. She washes up and shyly pads back into the bedroom. He smiles when he sees her, and watches as she crawls onto the bed.

“Well, don’t you look cute.” He pinches her thigh as she settled.

“Oh! Don’t do that.” She swats his hand away and he chuckles, getting up from the bed.

“Back in a tick.”

He shuts the lights off once he’s done in the bathroom, and gets into bed with her. She felt awkward until he yanked her onto his chest.

“You can be pretty forceful sometimes, you know that?”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not really, it’s not like I don’t feel safe.”

“You feel safe with me?” He asks softly.

“I do.” She feels him hold her a little closer.

“I just want what I want when I want it I guess.”

“So I’ve noticed. I like a man that knows what he wants, though, so it’s not like it’s a turn off.

“Aw, so you feel safe with me and you like me. A Happy New Year indeed.” She sucks her teeth at that and it makes him laugh. “What’s wrong, can’t take a bit of teasing?”

“I can, you’re just annoying.” She nudges him and he kisses the top of her head.

“You’re fun, Y/N.” He chuckles.

“Let’s get some sleep so you can fuck me in the morning, yeah?”

“I like the way you think.” He sighs and lets his eyes droop closed.

Y/N and Harry spent most of New Year’s day in his best, and neither of them would have had it any other way.

//

“Y/N?” One of her student workers comes into her office. “Mr. Horan from the math department is here to see you.”

“He is?” She raises an eyebrow. “Um, alright, he can come in.” The girl nods and lets Niall in. He closes the door behind him. “Is everything alright with Ben?”

“Yeah, this isn’t work related.”

“Oh…alright, would you like to have a seat?”

“No, it won’t take long…um…did you know Harry’s birthday is on the first of February?”

“I did not know that, no.”

“Right, well, I’m throwing him a party at this pub he really likes to go to. He’s turning thirty, you know? Wanted it to be a little more special for him.” She nods and he continues. “He’s shy about his birthday, and he’d never come right out and say it, but I know it would be mean the world to him if you came.”

“Well, of course I’ll go. It’s not like I haven’t been to a party with him before.”

“Yes, but instead of casually coming over to his New Year’s party…you’d sort of be showing up as his lady, you know?”

“What are you getting at here?”

“Come on, Y/N.” Niall scoffs. “He’s crazy about you, can’t you see that?”

“Niall…” She says in a hushed tone. “You know very well that he and I are nothing more than-“

“Fuck buddies, yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “This has been going on for months, you seriously don’t want more with the guy?”

“No.” She swallows. “I’m getting exactly what I need from him. He doesn’t want more either, what we’re doing works for both of us. Has…has he said something to you?”

“Not in so many words, but he talks about you enough. I think it’s silly to not go for it.”

“Look, if I didn’t have two kids maybe things could be different between him and I, but it’s not that simple. I don’t want more…at least not right now.”

“Alright.” He sighs. “I’ll text you the details for the party, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and keep it a secret. He thinks we’re going on a bar crawl.”

She nods and out the door he goes. She sighs heavily and shakes her head. Now there would be all this pressure for his birthday. Did she need to get him a gift? And what kind of gift should it be?

//

“Mum, you look so good.” Riley says sitting on Y/N’s bed when she comes out in a red dress.

“Thank you, honey.”

“And this is for a friend’s birthday party?”

“Yes.”

“Whose birthday?” Riley grins.

“Harry’s.” Y/N sighs.

“Did you get him anything good?”

“I…I got him, like, well, you know how he likes to wear all those rings? So I saw this ring at the store that I thought he might like.”

“You got him a ring?”

“Is it weird? It’s weird right? I just…I saw it and I thought of him, and I-“

“I bet he’ll love it, Mum.”

“Alright.” She nods. “Listen…you’ll be alright with Ben tonight? I…I could either be home really late, or I might not come back until the morning depending on how much I have to drink.”

“He’s setting up some movies and popcorn for us as we speak. We can handle it.”

“Good, okay, thank you.”

“Where would stay if you don’t come home?”

“Mr. Horan has offered me his guest room if need be.” It was a blatant lie but she couldn’t very well tell her fourteen-year-old that she was most likely going to have birthday sex with her teacher.

“Okay.” Riley shrugs and goes downstairs with Y/N. The doorbell rings. “I’ve got it.” She says as Y/N gets her coat on. “Hi, Mr. Styles.”

“Hello, Riley, is your mum ready to go?”

“Mhm, she’s just getting her coat on. Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and then uses all his willpower to not let his jaw drop when he sees Y/N. He couldn’t even see her dress, but he could tell she’d be a knockout tonight. “Ready?”

“Yes.” She smiles and turns to Riley and Ben. “Don’t be afraid to call if you need anything. I can be home in a flash. I’ll text you later to let you know what my, um, plans are.” She blushes and pushes Harry outside as the kids wave them off.

“She’s not subtle.” Ben says as he plops onto the couch.

“I know, I wish they’d just admit they’re in love and get on with it.” Riley says and starts the movie.

//

Harry opens the backseat of Niall’s car for her, and then he jogs around to the other side. Niall was driving, and Anna was in the passenger seat. Everyone greets one another and off they go. Harry keeps his hand on Y/N’s knee the whole way, and she puts her hand over his. They smile at each other, but nothing is said. Needless to say he was surprised by there being a party at the pub for him, but he was delighted.

Niall had done really well. Lots of drinks and appetizers going around, good music, and people mingling. There was even a cheesy slideshow of every single one of Harry’s school pictures throughout the years, and Y/N had to fight tears from laughing so hard at some of them. Harry couldn’t have asked for a better birthday, especially with Y/N around. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her all night, and eventually his arm didn’t leave from its place around her waist. No one really paid it any attention. Most people knew there was something going on between the two of them, but it was none of their concern. The single men in the room at the least knew not to hit on her. No one really wanted to get on Harry’s shit list.

There was a table for gifts, but Y/N kept hers in her purse, not wanting it to get lost. She also wanted to give it to him in private in case things got awkward. She had overthought the ring over and over. It was this nice topaz band that she thought he’d like. He said he was always looking for a pop of color in his wardrobe.

“Hey.” He says to her, pulling her into him. “Are you gonna come home with me?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “Are you having a good time?”

“A great time. Couldn’t have asked to turn thirty with better people.” He tucks some hair behind her ear and she shivers. “Can’t to get you back to my place, though.” He leans in to speak in her ear. “M’gonna mess up all this pretty makeup you’re wearing.” He kisses her cheek and lets her go. She was suddenly counting down the moments until it was time to leave.

When it came time, she helped grab all of the gifts off the table and bring them to Niall’s car. She had texted Riley that she wouldn’t be coming home which she felt slightly guilty about. She didn’t like giving up her weekends with the kids like this. Niall and Anna help get everything inside, and then leave Harry and Y/N alone, drinking water in the kitchen. He comes over to her, putting his hands on her hips, and pulling her forward.

“Have I told you how fucking sexy you look tonight? I’ve had to hold my hand under my jaw all night just to keep it from dropping.”

“Idiot.” She chuckles. “Oh! Wait, I got you something.” She snatches her purse from the counter.

“So it’s not lingerie? Sort of thought you were my gift.” He smirks and she rolls her eyes.

“That wouldn’t be very original, and I don’t find lingerie to be particularly comfortable, sorry, Sport.” She fishes the ring box out of her purse. “Here we are. If it’s weird feel free to just kick me out…I saw it thought you’d like it, nothing more to it than that.”

He takes the box from her, furrowing his brows. His eyes widen as he opens it up. He looks between her and the topaz band several times.

“Are you serious?” He says.

“Y-yeah…do you like it?”

“Are you kidding? I love it! I just can’t decide what finger to put it on.”

“I guessed on the size. You have such fat fingers, so I went with a larger one.”

“Think that’s the first time I’ve heard you complain about my fingers. Better be the last.” He slips the ring onto his middle finger and holds it out. “It’s perfect, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I wanted to. Like I said, I saw it and thought you’d like it.”

He hugs her and she hugs him back. He kisses her cheek and works his way to her lips. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she tugs at his shirt. His hands slide down to her ass and he squeezes.

“Fuck, I want you so bad.” He says against her lips, and lifts her up onto the counter.

“Mm-mm, just bring me upstairs, I don’t wanna have sex on the counter again.”

“But it’s my birthday.” He pouts.

“Yeah, and last time we did this my back hurt for, like, three days, so bring me upstairs.”

He sucks his teeth and lifts her back up, carrying her bridal style out to the staircase, and up to his room. He sets her down on the bed and takes her heels off, sliding his hands up her calves and thighs. He pulls her to her feet so he can lift the dress up over her head. He tugs her nylons off along with her underwear, and unclips her bra, leaving her naked in front of him. He licks his lips and kisses her. Running his hands all over her body. She works to get his shirt undone, and pushes it off his shoulders. She undoes his pants and lets them drop to the floor, he steps out of them, and they both fall back on the bed. He grinds his hard dick, still clothes by his boxers, right into her core, and she groans. He continues to grind against her, and she moves her hips along with his to get some extra friction.

“I want you to suck me off while I fuck you with my tongue.”

She nods and they switch positions so he can lay on his back. She gets situated over his face, and she lowers herself on his body. His tongue moves back and forth along her slit before entering her. She gasps just as she’s getting her lips wrapped around him. His hands grip her hips so he can lick into her in just the right way. She moans around his cock as she tries to bob up and down on him. He removes his tongue from her so he can finger her, and he licks up to her other hole, something they’ve done before. She chokes on his dick and pulls off, choosing to pump him instead.

“Shit, Harry, oh my god!”

He moans against her as she comes around his fingers. He pulls his fingers away and laps her up. He rolls her onto her stomach, and he grabs a condom quickly. He rolls it on and spreads her legs wide open. She lifts her hips up as he pushes inside her, and he grabs a pillow to put under her back. He rocks in and out of her as his hands knead her breasts. She wraps her arms around his neck to pull him down to her, and she licks into his mouth. He moans into her as their chests touch and sweat starts to form between their bellies.

“Y/N.” He moans into her ear, and it raises goosebumps all over skin. She wraps her legs around his waist to pull him even closer. He kisses on her neck and she runs her fingers through his hair. “I want you to come at the same time as me, think you can do that?”

“Y-yeah.”

He snakes a hand between them so he can rub her clit and her mouth falls open. They make eye contact the entire time, and they cry out as they come together. He collapses on top of her, and she holds him close, kissing his cheek multiple times. He keeps his head buried in her chest for a few moments. He looks up at her, about to say something, but her phone goes off.

“Shit, it could be the kids…”

“One second.” He pulls out of her with a grunt, and lets her up. She gets up and waddles over to his dresser and grabs her phone.

“Ben?”

“Hi, Mum, I’m sorry it’s so late, but Riley doesn’t feel well. I think it’s her period, but she’s on the floor, like, clutching at her stomach and I don’t know what to do for her…”

“Shit, okay, um, get her a glass of milk and two ibuprofen from the cabinet. I’ll be home soon, I’ll set up a warm compress for her. She gets really bad cramps like me sometimes.”

“Okay, thanks, sorry again.”

“No problem, I’ll see you soon.” She turns to Harry. “I…I’m sorry, I can get an uber or-“

“I’ll drive you, don’t be silly.” He says, already throwing some sweats on. “Do you want something to change into so you don’t have to put all that back on?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

He gets her a sweatshirt and some sweatpants. Once she’s cleaned herself up they’re out the door and into his car. This time around he holds her hand the whole way, their fingers intertwined and everything. When he turns the car off when he pulls in, she gives him a funny look.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m coming in, obviously.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I know, now come on.”

They get inside, and poor rile is still laying on the floor sucking milk out of a straw. Ben was sitting on the ground neck to her rubbing her back.

“Mum?”

“Hi, sweetie.” Y/N gets on her knees next to her.

“Feels like someone’s squeezing my insides with a spiked glove.”

“I know, baby, the medicine will work soon, I promise.” She sighs. “Ben, in the bathroom cabinet is where the warm compresses are, could you get one for me please?”

“Yeah.” He stands up and looks at Harry, but doesn’t say anything. Riley sees Harry’s sneakers and turns to look at him.

“Hey, Mr. Styles…”

“Hey.” He smiles. “Not feeling great, huh?”

“Cramps.” She says bluntly.

“Ugh, that’s the worst.” He sits down next to her. “My older sister used to get them really bad, I felt terrible.”

Ben comes back with the warm compress, and Y/N snaps it to get it to warm up, and she presses it to Riley’s lower back. She sighs from the feeling.

“See? Better already.” Y/N says.

“I don’t know what happened. I was fine all night, and then I got up to get some more soda, and I basically fell to the ground.”

“The bad ones can creep up on you unfortunately. I need to get you up to your room.”

“I could carry her…if…if that’s alright with everyone.” Harry says.

“That would be okay.” Riley says. “No one else could do it anyways.”

He helps her up, double and triple checking it’s okay that he’s touching her, and he carries her up. Y.N has Ben clean up the living room before he goes to bed. Y/N goes into Riley’s room after Harry’s places her on her bed.

“All set?” Y/N says to her, brushing some hair away from her face.

“Yeah, thank you.” She yawns. “Goodnight.”

“Night, honey.”

Y/N tugs Harry into her room, and closes the door.

“I’m so sorry, thank you for coming in…I don’t know how I would’ve helped her upstairs, I would have had to make a bed for her on the couch.” Y/N starts tearing up. “There are so many things I can do for them on my own until I’m reminded that there are things that I just can’t.”

“Hey.” He puts his hands on her shoulders. “You’re a great mum and you’re doing what you can. I couldn’t imagine being so young and raising two teenagers. You make it look easy, honestly. You’re amazing, Y/N.”

“You really think so?”

“I do.” He nods.

“Would you…I mean…it’s late, um, would you want to just stay here?”

“It wouldn’t be weird for you?”

“No.” He smiles and starts taking his clothes off. They get into bed together and cuddle all night. He somehow was always exactly what she needed, and it scared her a little. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Put me at ease the way you do?”

“I don’t know.” He smiles down at her. “Didn’t realize I did that for you.”

“Well, you do. And I don’t know how I feel about it.”

“Christ, Y/N, just admit you like me as more than just a guy who fucks you good so we can date already.”

“What?” She sits up and so does he. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. You don’t wanna date? I mean we practically already are when you think about it. I’m not seeing anyone else, are you?”

“With your clingy ass? Who would have the time?!” She laughs.

“Oi, I resent that.”

“You ask me to hang out literally every weekend.”

“Yeah, cause I need to get to you before someone else does.”

“Harry…you realize if you get into a relationship with me you’re getting into a relationship with my kids, right?”

“I do.” He nods. “I know it’ll be a lot, but if it means I get to be with you…I think I could be all in with them. I can’t speak for Ben, but I know Riley likes me. I feel like we could make this work.”

“I don’t want more kids…I’m almost thirty-four, I would hate for you to end up wanting kids of your own. That’s not something I can give you, Harry.”

“You know what I’d really like?”

“What?”

“A dog. I’m great with pets, absolutely great. I miss having a pup around. If we get to a point where we feel like that’s the right move, that would definitely be enough for me.”

“I’ve always wanted a dog.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wow, okay, so…we’re doing this?”

“We fucking better be, I think Niall will explode if we don’t.”

They both giggle, and kiss each other. They settle back down to get some sleep, ready for whatever the morning brings.

a/n: if you liked what you’ve read, and are able/want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee. 

[nationalharryleague]

Dog Days Are Over

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers AU

Word count: 4.8K

A/N: Hi all! This is something I’ve been working on for a little while now and I’m really proud of it! As usual, a massive thank you to Miss Lu (@meetmymouth​) for being the best and beta reading. You can read more of my work in my masterlist and please please please send feedback to my ask! Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it!! 

***

Jagger was a good boy. He was a massive Great Dane with a shiny black coat and goofy wide eyes that softened his overall intimidating appearance. Great Danes had been bread as guarding and hunting dogs, but the gentle giant was nothing like his ancestors. He trapesed around the park every morning with his clumsy oversized paws and a tail that never seemed to stop wagging. A sunshiny yellow collar sat around his neck with a leash connecting him to his owner, a curly headed man with kind eyes.

She had built a rapport with Jagger over time, always willing to spare a few of the treats she kept in her pocket for her own dogs, Annie and Hallie. The pair of speckled Dalmations always looked up to give her a disappointed look that seemed to ask “Why are you giving our cookies away, Mom?” when she offered the chicken flavored morsels to the charming brute. She would lean down (not very far due to his massive size),  give him two cookies, a scratch behind the ear, and a kiss to his forehead every morning, murmuring a “Good morning buddy.”

While she greeted Jagger, the man would always give her spotted ladies the attention they loved and a couple treats of his own, earning a few thankful and loving licks from the dogs. After the affectionate moment with the dog of a perfect stranger (she didn't even know his name), the pair would always give each other a smile and move on with their days.

This was their routine for months, meeting briefly every morning through falling leaves of a New York autumn that eventually gave out to the first snowy mornings and the charm of winter in Central Park. They never spoke more than a friendly morning greeting, occasionally commenting on the weather, but always taking a few moments to say hello to the endearing animals that accompanied them.

Her favorite coffee shop was especially busy one morning when they accidentally brought her two hot coffees with cream and sugar, instead of just one. When she had tried to return it, her favorite barista, a girl with golden skin and eyes to match, told her to take it anyway because it would just be thrown out. After the barista herself declined to keep the drink with a light chuckle, Y/N was sent on her way, each hand holding a coffee and both her wrists each looped through a leash.

Y/N, Annie, and Hallie made their way into Central Park, a surprisingly difficult task on his specific morning.  She struggled to maintain control over the hot liquid and the two strong dogs with strong opinions of where they wanted to walk. Inevitably and like clock work, they ran into Jagger and the man with the kind eyes, Y/N slowing to a stop to greet her giant furry friend. It wasn’t long before her K-9 balancing act gave her an idea.

“Do you drink coffee?” she quickly questioned, the words leaving her mouth without permission and directly addressing the man with the kind eyes about something other than the weather or their dogs for the first time since they had known each other. Jagger bumped his oafish head gently into her hip, seeming to ask for her attention back, just as surprised as she was with her uncharacteristic interaction with his dad.

“Uh, yeah,” the man answered, eyes locking with hers and seeming to be just as shocked that she spoke to him as she was. His deep and velvety voice was a sharp contrast to the sweet and fairly high pitched tone he usually used with Annie and Hallie.

“Well, the cafe gave me two instead of just one by accident. Do you want it?” She offered the cup to him with a hopeful shrug and a smile spread across her face when he took it.

They continued on with their routine of saying hello to each other’s animals without another word, the man with the kind eyes taking a sip of the coffee to test it out. She was pressing the usual kiss to Jagger’s massive head when she watched a ring clad hand offering itself towards her in the peripheral of her vision. “My name is Harry, by the way,” he said with a friendly close lipped smile playing across his lips. “We never really did introduce ourselves, did we?”

“I don’t think we ever did,” she said with a chuckle, reaching her hand out and connecting it with his. His hands were soft, but felt strong like he worked with his hands and his palms felt hot despite the freezing temperatures from where he had been clutching the coffee. “Y/N.”

“It's nice to formally meet you, Y/N. I usually just think of you as Annie and Hallie’s Mom.” His lips saying her name made it sound like it was sung by a million angels and she just couldn’t get over the idea of him thinking about her outside of the park. Of course she thought of him, a British beautiful man with kind eyes who loves her dogs was like finding a unicorn, but it had never crossed her mind that the thoughts could be mutual.

Before she had a chance to respond, Jagger began to walk forward, ready to take on the rest of his walk. “I guess it’s time for you to go,” she joked looking down as the giant animal who began to pull Harry forward.

“I guess so,” he agreed, jerking forward as he tried to slow Jagger down. “Thank you again for the coffee.”

“No problem!”

“Next time,” he said over his shoulder, a teasing smirk on his face, after Jagger had led him a considerable distance from her. “I take my coffee black!”

***

She thought about him all day after the park. She couldn’t believe that the tiny conversation had with him was all it took for him to occupy her every thought. She wondered if he enjoyed the rest of the coffee, if she would ever run into him at the cafe that had its logo drawn across the side of the drink she had gifted him, or if his girlfriend was suspicious when he came home holding a coffee order that definitely wasn’t his. What if he thought what she had done was weird? Would he change Jagger’s walking schedule? Or maybe change his route completely to avoid her?

Y/N ignored every one of those thoughts the next morning when she attended her usual coffee shop; and especially when she ordered one hot coffee with cream and sugar, and one without. She even asked her favorite barista with the golden eyes to write a little ‘H’ on the black coffee so she wouldn’t get them mixed up.

“To make up for all the treats you’ve given to Annie and Hallie over these last few months,” she lied when she handed the coffee over to him, relishing slightly in how his fingertips brushed hers when he took the drink from her hands. She knew that she didn’t get him the coffee for the treats; she got it because she had a crush.

“Oh, thank you so much!  You didn’t have to do this,” he insisted as he took a sip. “You even had a little ‘H’ put on it for me?” His eyes lit up at the possibility and from that second forward Y/N pledged to herself that she would do anything she could to see his eyes sparkle like that again.

“I just wanted to make sure they didn’t get mixed up.”

“H is what all of my friends call me.” She watched his plump pink lips move as he spoke, his warm breath creating a small steamy cloud in the frosty air.

“That’s really sweet,” she said smiling like a fool, endeared by the nickname.

“You can call me H, ya know?” he spoke and her heart just about stopped. “I think if our dogs are friends,” he said, gesturing to their dogs as their dogs played amongst themselves, “we can be friends too.”

She knew she would be unable to contain herself as soon as she got out of his line of sight in a few moments. She might bust out into a happy dance, or maybe even let out a small squeal;  but for the moment she just nodded her head. “I think I would really like that, H.”

“So,” he began with the smirk she had already begun to fall in love with, “friends don’t let friends buy them coffee two days in a row without returning the favor. Tomorrow is on me.”

“Sounds good, H,” she said as the pair of dalmations began to pull her forward. “I take my coffee with cream and sugar!” she shouted over her shoulder, shooting him a wink as she went on with her walk.

“I know.”

She was unable to contain herself and did, in fact, do a little wiggle when she was out of his sight.

***

Of all places she thought she could end up this Saturday morning, she didn’t think it would be in Harry’s apartment.

She had casually mentioned that morning when they met up in the park, more to make conversation than anything else, that the heat in her apartment was out but she had never expected him to invite her and the girls back to his place to warm up.

They had fallen into a delightful rhythm of bringing each other coffee over the past few weeks, taking turns and spending a few fleeting moments speaking to each other before one of their pets decided it was time to move on with their walk. She had learned that he was a physical therapist and that he had rescued Jagger from a puppy mill when he was a baby, but to be completely honest, she didn’t know much about him beyond that. They could only learn so much about each other  in 5 minute bursts before the dogs got bored and pulled them apart once again.

What she did know about him for sure was that his eyes didn’t lie when they said he was kind. He never missed a day getting her coffee and he always profusely thanked her when she brought him his. He always asked about how her day was going, and seemed to be genuinely interested in when she spoke about her work, hobbies, or whatever else ended up being the topic of their short conversations.

While she wouldn’t go as far as saying he cared about her, she knew that she cared about him.

“It’s not much,” Harry said, opening the door for Y/N and her dogs to pass into his home, “but it’s mine.”

As most New York City apartments were, it was a tiny shoe box of a living space; but it felt cozy, and most of all, warm. It was a small studio, with all the essentials packed in tight. His sofa sat up against the right wall of exposed brick, mirrored by a small kitchen on the left. She had to admit it was well styled; dark woods and stainless steel decorated the apartment and various posters and framed pictures on the walls made it his own.

The most breathtaking feature was a massive bay window that sat above his bed on the far back wall. The window directly overlooked Central Park and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sentimentality because that’s where they had met. His bed was perfectly made with dark charcoal grey sheets all she could imagine was being wrapped up in them with Harry.

Walking through the door, she was intoxicated by the most delicious smell that she could only assume was Harry’s cologne, but she was brought back to reality when he asked for her coat. Their hands met as she handed it over to him and a flash of concern immediately flashed through his face, bushy eyebrows furrowing. “You’re absolutely freezing, love.”

Once again, her heart began to burst with joy. Just that little word, the little pet name and term of endearment. It made her feel like a kid on Christmas, like she was ready to burst.

“Oh, I’m okay,” she managed to get out, still overwhelmed by his words.

“We’re gonna get you and the ladies all warmed up, okay?” She watched from her spot by the front door as he began to run around the apartment with one goal: to warm his friend up. He moved gracefully from the thermostat to a chest of drawers, making a small triumphant noise when he pulled out two dog sweaters that were Jagger’s. “They’re a little big, but I think they will work,” he said with a helpful smile.

She watched as he knelt down in front of Annie and Hallie, asking for their paws. Both of them quickly responded, clearly trusting the curly man in front of them as much as she did. He delicately slipped the knit over both of the dogs, and with anything he did, Y/N’s heart swooned.

To her, those dogs were her everything. She had moved to the city completely alone and had rescued the pair of sisters from a kill shelter only a week after arriving. She named them after the twins from The Parent Trap, her favorite movie growing up. She felt it was symbolic; like she and the dogs had been brought together by some twist of fate but had known each other in a past life. Those dogs were her everything and watching them interact with Harry ignited a fuzzy warmth within her; a sharp contrast to her still frozen nose.

“You next,” he teased, beckoning her over from her spot at the front door. She took careful steps over to him, trying her best to stay respectful of his space, already feeling intrusive for being there. She met him in the middle of the room, where he had grabbed a blanket off the couch, placing it over her shoulders and enveloping her in soft warm fabric and the smell of him. Shocks were sent up her arms as he rubbed them in an attempt to generate more heat. It was the first time he had ever really touched her other than light brushing of their fingertips, and she had never felt like anything was more right in the world than the way she felt in his arms.

She watched his face closely as he held the blanket tight around her frame. He had a light stubble peppering his strong jaw and his eyes were the most vibrant yet soft shade of green she had ever seen. His brows were still slightly knitted together in care for her, trying his best to accomplish his goal of warming the woman who had become his friend. Her eyes narrowed in on his plush pink lips and it took everything in her not to learn forward and press her lips to his; but she wouldn’t. They were casual friends; nothing more, nothing less, and her school girl crush didn’t change any of that.

His hands on her arms slowed and their eyes finally met, the deep green feeling like it had penetrated her soul. “I have soup in the fridge,” he said softly, eyes narrowing in on her still cold nose, “let me heat it up for you.” And as soon as the moment had happened, it was gone, him walking away from her in a flurry and starting his next task of making her soup.

“H, I promise I’m okay,” she said with a light chuckle. “I will warm up, eventually. Don’t worry yourself over it.”

“You have been in a frozen apartment for four days. You’re going to get sick,” he said, head still stuck in the fridge out of her line of sight.

“What do you care if I get sick?” she teased. “Won’t get your coffee?”

“No,” he said in an exasperated tone, popping back out from behind the fridge door to connect his eyes with hers, “because then I won’t get to see you.”

Despite the chill still present in her bones, she felt her cheeks heat with his words. “Oh, okay,” was all she could muster before he returned back to his search for the soup.

He did eventually find the soup and nearly force fed her the hot liquid, insisting that “you’re not getting pneumonia on my watch.” And while she kept up the act that she was totally fine and didn’t need him to fuss over her, it felt so good to be cared for like this. She had been on her own for so long now, lacking the care and affection that came with an overbearing mother-hen-esque friend, and she was honestly loving it.

It was later that day, while they were sat watching a movie on his couch, Y/N still wrapped up tight like a burrito in the flannel blanket that smelled like him, when he informed her that she wasn’t allowed to go back to her apartment until the heat was fixed. “H,” she had playfully groaned, “I am a big girl and will survive a little chill.”

“There’s a cold snap coming,” he justified his demands. “Saw it on the news this morning.”

“H, this is all too much. All of this has been so kind and the dogs and I appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts, but I can’t let you put your life on pause because I might get a little cold.”

“Please stay,” he began gently, almost pleading with her in a deeper and softer voice than he had ever used with her before, “for Annie and Hallie,” he finished. Her heart sank, reminding herself that the pair were just friends. He was just doing a favor for her out of the goodness of his heart; nothing more, nothing less.

“Maybe,” she murmured. “I’ll have to see if it gets fixed tonight.”

It didn’t get fixed. Apparently, New York City landlords, especially the one that owned her very tiny, and very shitty, apartment didn’t care much about their tenants turning to icicles. Around 10 PM, she finally gave up hope of anything getting fixed today, much to Harry’s delight.

She had accepted the sweats Harry had offered for her to sleep in, enveloped by soft worn fabric that spelled like him. A dark blue crew neck with ‘Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School’ written across the front swallowed her frame and Harry laughed at her when she had to roll up the legs of the sweatpants so she wouldn’t trip on them. “It’s not my fault you’re a giant,” she giggled, poking him in the chest and sticking her tongue out at him like a child.

“You’re lucky you look cute in those or I would be taking them back after a comment like that.” Her cheeks reddened for what felt like the millionth time since she had entered his space this morning. They had fallen into a charming banter, a rhythm of teasing jokes and kind words intertwined with each other that made her heart sing. While she still felt like she was intruding on his space, there was a growing part of her that was glad her heat wasn’t back yet. She didn’t want to leave his warmth and light just yet.

When a yawn left her lips later that night, Harry decided it was time for bed. “We’re in the middle of the episode,” she had argued through another yawn, “we haven’t even seen who wins the technical challenge yet.” They had watched almost an entire season of Bake Off over the course of the day, both of them curled up on the couch under a pile of blankets and dogs.

“We have to be up for our walk in the morning,” he smiled as he lifted Jagger’s massive head off his lap to get up. “I’ll even buy the coffee.”

“Okay, I guess so,” she agreed gently. “Can I just borrow a pillow?” she asked as she adjusted herself and the dogs on the couch under the blankets.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a confused face.

“Getting ready to go to sleep?” she responded with an equally questioning tone.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch. Come on, get into my bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“No.”

“Why not? You’re my guest.”

“Harry,” she spoke gently but was met with a lift of his eyebrow like using his full name was an insult. “H,” she began again, “I’m not going to come into your home, inconvenience your entire day, steal your clothes, eat your food, and then make you sleep on the couch.”

“Please, just let me sleep on the couch, Y/N,” he nearly begged.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” she repeated with a stern tone.

“Then neither are you.” Her breath caught in her chest and her eyes flashed to the dark charcoal sheets she had imagined being wrapped up in with him when she first entered the apartment. “It’s a big comfy bed and I want you to actually sleep well. I’m perfectly okay with it if you are.”

While her heart was beating out of her chest at the opportunity of being that close to him, all she said was “sounds good,” unable to come up with anything more than that in the moment.

She reverted back to her careful steps and bated breath as she left the couch and made her way over to the bed, suddenly so aware of the respectful boundaries she had created for herself when she first arrived. She lifted back his heavy comforter and slid herself inside, pulling the blanket to her chin as she watched, mesmerized, as the man walked around the apartment getting ready for bed.

He walked around the apartment on the pads of his bare feet almost silently, turning off lights and pouring them both a glass of water before refilling the dog bowls on the ground. He led Jagger to his giant dog bed and invited Annie and Hallie up onto his couch to sleep, gently coaxing them onto the cushions and laying the blanket Y/N had been wrapped in for most of the day over the speckled sisters.

There was only the light coming off the street lights streaming through the window above her head to illuminate the silent apartment and she watched as Harry made his way to the tall chest of drawers on his side of the bed. He lifted his sweater over his head to expose his muscular back and elaborately tattooed arms, and she prayed he didn’t hear the small gasp that left her lips. As quickly as his back and torso were revealed to her, they were hidden once again when he slipped a large tshirt back over his body. She had only ever known him in the colder months, always wrapped up in a sweater or a coat; she had never expected the beautiful illustrations that decorated his body or his broad muscular shoulders that stayed hidden under layers of clothing.

“Stop staring, ya perv,” his deep velvety voice joked with a laugh and she felt her cheeks burn worse than they had all day. “I’m only kidding, love,” he spoke softly when he turned around and connected their eyes.

“I was just looking at your tattoos,” she stammered while she watched him slip into the bed next to her, trying to wipe the adoring look from her face. “I like them a lot.”

“Thank you.” He settled into the bed, far enough to be respectful but still close enough for her to feel the warmth off his skin. He brought his arm out from underneath the covers, allowing her to get a closer look at the ink that illustrated his skin and she rolled herself on her side to face him. She carefully traced the veins of the anatomical heart on this bicep with her finger tips. “Your fingers finally warmed up,” he said barely loud enough for her to hear.

Her eyes flashed up to meet his eyes in the darkness, his irises still seeming to glow in the limited light. She felt his warm minty breath fall over her face and the sweet smell of him that had been enveloping her since she entered his space intensified with her proximity to him. He smelled of sandalwood and vanilla, mixed with the smell of clean linen coming from his bed sheets.

“I guess they did,” she said under her breath, like if she spoke too loudly the moment would be scared away. “We should get some sleep,” she said regretfully, remembering the respectful rules she had set for herself. She withdrew her hand away from his arm and rolled back to her previous position to stare at the ceiling until she fell asleep. If she hadn’t been so tired and if it wasn’t so dark, she would have thought she saw disappointment on his face before she dozed off.

When she began to wake the next morning, she was warm. Not a sweaty or sticky warm, a cozy warm that makes you want to curl up and spend an entire day in bed, seeking respite from the cold air that lives outside the cocoon of blankets you’ve created. She snuggled further into the warmth, and further into the arms that held her close. Her consciousness was blurred with sleep as she buried her face deeper into the warmth between someone’s shoulder and neck. She wouldn’t have woken up if she didn’t feel the body holding her release a light chuckle at her sleepy huffs.

Coming back to life, she lifted her head and opened her eyes to the strong jaw peppered with stubble that she had studied so intensely for months now. A gasp left her throat and she tried to pull herself away, wracked with guilt for passing a boundary she had set. But her movements were stopped when the pair of arms around her waist only pulled her closer, a deep gravelly voice next to her mumbling “don’t go.”

For the first time, she let herself occupy the thought that her fascination with Harry may be mutual. He had gone above and beyond for her and had always been kind and accommodating, always ready to take care of her any need or want. He had let her stay in his house for god sake, let her stay in his bed, and was now holding on to her like if he let go the little world they had created together would fall apart.

“Okay,” she whispered softly into his neck, melting back into his warmth once again. Her drowsiness must have clouded her judgement when she pressed a gentle and soft kiss over his pulse point.

It was Harry’s turn to pull back, a drowsy chuckle leaving his lips as he made eye contact with her still half closed eyes. “Did you just kiss me?” he asked incredulously.

“No, definitely not.” She buried her face in her hands, blushing uncontrollably and feeling her whole face heat up.

“You liar,” he grinned. “Come here.” He pressed his hands to either side of her face and pulled her mouth to meet his. It was a soft kiss, both of them unable to control their smiling lips. Her heart raced and so did his. Their lips moved together in a rhythm that was occasionally interrupted by excited giggles, and Harry pulled her closer to him than she ever had been before.

They stayed in that bliss for as long as they could; cheeks hurting from smiles, gentle laughter released often, and enjoying the warm cocoon they had created together. It was only a matter of time before they were interrupted, both of them letting out loud laughter when all three of their animals joined them on the bed. It was only then Y/N peaked out the window above them to discover Central Park covered in a bright white blanket of snow, flurries continuing to fall outside.

“I have been obsessed with you from the first day I saw you walking the girls,” he confessed as the dogs curled up around them both. “I thought you were so special and beautiful. I about lost it the day you offered me that coffee. I couldn’t believe you were actually talking to me and not my dog for once.”

“Let’s be honest, I fell in love with Jagger first,” she teased. “His hot dad was just a bonus,” she giggled against his lips as he pressed their faces together once again, bodies held apart by the dogs that had wiggled between them.

This moment felt like a fairytale. She wasn’t sure how long it would last or what would come from it but she knew that this was what pure joy felt like, and she would hold onto it for as long as she could.

They only had the dogs to thank.

Thank you so much for reading!! Reblogs/feedback mean to the world!!! 

[sussex-sweetheart]

William has leaked that he was involved in stripping PA's royal roles. And his deluded fandom are singing his praising for that. SO many things wrong here!

1) HE didn't do anything!! The public pressure especially after the open letter by those veterans was insurmountable. PA's pedo links have been in the news for 11 years. It took them 11 years to do this. There's nothing honorable about that.

2) Richard Eden as usual baiting squad and using Andrew and Harry together.

I've never said or thought about this, but now I do hope queen passes away soon. I have no idea what William's PR is trying to do, but they are clearly placing him and Kate as next king and queen. And once Charles is king, the PR war between him and Cambridges is gonna be delicious. I was wasn't here before H&M, so I have no idea about Charles' PR tactics, but I've heard he isn't afraid to theek family under the bus. And for once I'm looking forward to that! W&K's PR is very aggressive and obviously they are targeting the global audience, not just UK royalists, I'd love to see now what Charles can do!

Honestly, I'm so pissed off right now. Even though I'm anti-royalists so I know I sometimes take it to the extreme end, so I usually keep my mouth shut coz brf ain't going anywhere from UK, the taxpayers their are all noise no action when it comes to monarchy. But crediting Wiiliam in stripping of Andrew's titles has pissed me off so much! He's a literal criminal and brf is still protecting him.

Oh btw, taxpayers are still paying for Andrew's security and house expenses. He's no "private citizen" as palace likes to comment 🙄

1) You're right, but you can expect William's camp to insert him as the saviour in any situation like this.

2) When the Queen dies, the new war of the Wales will start. Charles won't lie down and take William's crap in the press, but Will does have a better public image than Charles, so it will be interesting to see how it works. Charles will have more powerful connections and the ability to hold the prince of Wales title ransom.

Prince Andrew is definitely not defending himself as a private citizen like they claim. They should remove his funding, security, and make him pay rent on his home, since that's what they did to Harry. They also need to stop lying and admit that he's still keeping his vice admiral role.

[liquid-luck-00]

Connections 8

Chapter 8

this is based on @thepeacetea daminette soulmate au

Masterlist *** First *** Previous *** Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner went as normally as it could, but that only means that Grayson and Todd were arguing about something or other. Damian was quiet and sent Stone glares from across the table.

First, she leaves me underground and then I find out she knows our secret. She is a loose end that needs to be dealt with.

Alfred was binging out a plate of macaroons when Todd seemed tired of speaking with Grayson.

Stone took a couple of cookies and was going to leave when Todd changed targets.

"What was that about after school?" he asked "Demon Spawn, Pixie either of you want to explain."

Damian moved to grab his katana from under the table, he didn't need to hide it since she knew of their nightly activities, but she moved quickly.

She was now between the two of us, shoving a cookie into both of our mouths.

"I really don't know what you want to hear Jay, but we had a study hall at the end of the day. Damian went to the library and must not have heard the bell" she answered.

Damian grumbled shooting daggers at her, but she held her ground as he left. He doesn't know why but he decided to listen at the door.

"Honestly, Mari what happened today?" he heard Todd, ask in a soft concerned voice he had never heard before. "Damian isn't the" he doesn't know what was going to be said because Stone cut him off.

"That is what happened whether you believe it or not. And I will not be told how to think of anyone, including Damian, without giving them a chance." she stormed out, while he ducked into the nearest door.

---

I went up to my room and was about to turn in there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Damian, is there something you need?"

"How much do you know about me?" that was not what I was expecting him to say. So, I motioned for him to come in. I sat on my bed and he sat at the desk.

"Obviously, your Robin, you are Bruce's only biological child, and your brothers call you Demon spawn."

"Anything else."

"Just what I've observed at school. Oh, and your murder attempts on Jay and Tim and your fight with Dick.

"They haven't said anything else"

"They've tried" he stayed silent as if telling me to continue. "I dunno they try to tell me, but I don't think that is fair to you."

"What is that to mean" he snapped at me. "You gather information, if it is being given to you, you take it. It does not matter if it is gained fairly or not." he seemed to scold me.

"Wow"

"Wow, what Stone" he barked.

"I think that is the most I've heard you speak in one go" he only blinked at me, that was the only indication I got that I took him by surprise. "let me guess. You think I am naive for wanting to get to know someone myself."

"Tt. yes"

"Fine you can play it sensible, the king of conventional but I don't have to.” I flopped backwards laying on the bed.

"Say that again" now I sat up when I heard the confusion in his voice.

"I don't have to"

"before that"

"King of conventional"

"I've heard that before.” That was when a memory surfaced.

"I can cut you free. Out of the drudgery and the walls you keep in. So, trade that typical for something colorful. And if it's crazy, live a little crazy, you can play it sensible, a king of conventional."

"You" he shouted accusingly jumping up.

"Me” I smirked, having finally recognized this Damian as the Damian I met in Paris years ago.

"How long have you known?"

"I just figured it out actually"

"Figures that the aggravating girl from Paris would be you."

"Ya well you are still the intrusive kid who doesn't seem to know how to have fun."

By now we were yelling at each other.

"Did you know?" he asked glaring at me.

"know what?" she retorted with a huff.

"That I am or rather was an assassin then" he yelled.

"I'm sorry what?" my voice was softer and the only thing I seemed to be able to do is blink at him.

His reaction was much like my own, but shock was clearly in his eyes.

---

"You didn't know” I whispered more to myself than to her. I don't know why I told him she

didn't need to know so why?

She took a few steps to close the gap between us and just enveloped me in a hug. We didn't say

anything to one another, Damian silently cried into her shoulder hugging her tighter. Why am I crying. I should not be letting my emotions control my actions, But I feel safe. Why does she make me feel safe?

We stayed like that until I spoke again,

well it was more of a whisper into her hair. "Why aren't you running away from me?"

"Do you want me to?" she asked just as quietly. I shook my head holding her tighter. "stay, please"

she hugged me tighter "You're stuck with me Wayne"

I chuckled at that, genuinely amused, as we stepped apart "And you with me Marinette"

"Good" she then grabbed my hand and dragged

me to the living room.

"What are you doing?"

"We" she pointed between the two of us "are going to watch movies until we fall asleep" she stated as if it was the most obvious thing "You choose the movie and I'll go grab some blankets"

"Anything you want to see?” I asked before she left.

"I dunno" she shrugged "something with magic" she came back soon with a pile of blankets and a bowl of popcorn. They ended up watching the first three Harry Potter movies before falling asleep.

---

That was how everyone found them coming up from the cave. Asleep next to one another wrapped in blankets.

Three things occurred that shocked everyone the next day.

1. Damian smiled. Marinette the sun child she is get him to smile. He smiled and it was as if he was actually a kid it was just as bright and infectious as one of Mari's smiles. However once Dick took a picture his scowl was back.

2. They argued, civilly no yelling no swords, well it was more of a discussion of which house they belonged in. It was the longest argument that Damian was part of that didn't end with him with a katana in his hand, and that was almost frightening. It was settled that Damian was in Slytherin and Mari was in Gryffindor only after they took the Pottermore quiz.

3. Still more shocking was whenever Damian spoke of or with Mari it was Marinette not Stone. Damian had been with them for months, but he only referred to them as Father, Grayson, Todd, Drake, and Pennyworth. But in comes Mari and she is called by her first name before any of them.

So as a family of detectives they tried to figure out what changed with their youngest member. Because he only seemed to let down his guard around Mari. They couldn't understand it, it was an enigma with no true answer. Hell, they even found them sparring with Damian correcting and teaching her to sword fight. In turn she taught him gymnastics for when he is grappling through the city.

Two weeks passed quickly, and they were saying goodbye to Mari, but they still hadn't figured out the change.

Next

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Taglist🐞🦇

@thanks-captain-obvious @mandy989  @our-preciousss @readingismyoxygen @birdy912 @shifty-lesbian-retro-goblin @todaylillypads @laurcad123 @demonangel27 @be-happy-every-day-please @fandom-trapped-03 @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @t1dwarrior-of-earth @saays-bitch @kawaiigiantjudgefish @k-poplunardreams @animegirlweeb @animezodiac707 @weird-pale-blonde-person @myazael @toodaloo-kangaroo @moonlightstar64 @miraculous-simmer7 @wannajointhecrabcult @blackmagicforever @iamabrownfox @inkattbi @i-wanna-be-a-ninja @justcourttee @consumeconstantly @abrx2002 @livelifeauthorstyle @certifiedbidisaster @dreamykitty25 @ironspiderstark @fantasyislive @ertyzeta @dast218 @susiej1118 @sassakitty @lilyreadbooks12 @dawnwave16 @mochegato @galla02006 @nathleigh @trippingovermyfeet @promiswords @rosep16 @officiallydarkgeek @inarachi02 @justafanwarrior @emimar7 @vroomtaka @gimpedmercy @alabastas

[pinencurls]

“I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

Hiii so this is my entry to @stellarboystyles‘s three year anniversary fic challenge! I’ve been busy with getting ready for classes starting and balancing other stuff so I wrote it on and off for a week and a bit but I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is so so encouraged and appreciated <3 

Here’s my masterlist of some other stuff I’ve written x 

Enemies (more like friends but oops) to lovers, prompt 9 “I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

14k+ :) Not read through sorry! pls let me know of any mistakes and I’ll correct them <3 (also i k n o w the title's bad but i couldn’t think of anything, pls feel free to leave any recs.)

- - - - 

It isn’t that I hate Harry. He just makes me feel...insecure. He’s never said or done anything directly but it’s hard to feel good about yourself when all your closest confidants seem to compare you to somebody else, somebody they so clearly hold higher above you. There wasn’t a single day I could meet a mutual friend of mine and Harry’s and not have them sing his praises, and apparently everyone was a mutual friend. I’ve known Julia and Theo for years, we all met in uni when they first started going out but it wasn’t until a year ago that I somehow ended up finding myself a regular within the friendship group they’d formed when they both went into the music and fashion industries. They had ties everywhere and after a pure coincidence of running into them and their circle at a pub, almost all my weekends were spent in various art galleries or new restaurants owned by somebody’s cousin or the guy they met last night at a Fleetwood Mac concert. 

I’d met Harry about five months into hanging out with the group. He’d known them a lot longer than I had, weaving his way into the little pockets of interesting people for years since the x factor. I was busy with work the first few times he was in town but after a while, Nick, the persistent party planner of the group who always managed to wrangle us together, insisted that I just had to meet him.                  . . . . . 

Eleanor’s house is huge and buzzing with hundreds of strangers. I cling to Julia and Theo’s side, Nick and Eleanor are nowhere in sight - most likely playing host or drinking too much chardonnay in another corner of the house. These four are the only people I can say I really know here, sure there are a few familiar faces on the dance floor, either from having met them at any of Eleanor's past elaborate parties or just because of they’re not so subtle fame. That’s another thing, all the people sipping wine and dancing around me are fairly...well known. Either just within the industry or to the general public too, they’d all gain fairly high status. It was a fluke really that I got on so well with Julia when we first met on a fashion course in uni. 

Julia had big goals, all of which she was on track to fulfil, that conflicted slightly with mine. Her goals consisted of runway show models clad in designer brands she might one day contribute to whereas mine were more...anti, that whole world. It took a few years to find a steady footing but eventually, I was proud of where I’d ended up: a comfortable little cubby in the fashion and sustainability columns of a handful of independent magazines. After a few nights out with Julia, I was pleasantly surprised to find her shared interests and solidarity in my work and ambitions of her own within the same ideology. But whilst that’s all well and good, I’m still very much the small indie journalist that slips through the cracks when it comes to small talk at these kinds of events. It became apparent pretty quickly that my latest articles on how fast fashion had begun its destruction of a liveable environment in developing countries weren’t as relevant or interesting to the people promoting Prada and Calvin Klein as the next met gala theme. 

“Do you want another drink?” Theo asks from beside me, pulling my focus from my scan of the room. 

“No thanks..I’m good.” I murmur, debating how long I have to stay before I can slip out and feel a little less awkward around all the people I have no clue how to talk to. “Think I’m gonna head off actually..”

“Look I know you hate networking, but this is just a chill get-together yeah?” Theo chuckles, squeezing my shoulder before taking another sip from his gin and tonic. “We’re in the same boat about these snooty things but tonight’s not like that, relax a bit will ya.” 

Theo works mostly with small-time music artists, producing debut albums and such so we share the same deep discomfort for the many events we often find ourselves at. It’s how we got close really, week after week we’d trail behind Julia as she strikes up conversations with Hollywood elite...and he always makes getting piss drunk in someone’s pool house exceptionally fun. 

Before I can further any excuses about getting home to start on the legitimate and ever-growing pile of work deadlines on my desk, a tall man in far too much Gucci to belong anywhere but in a room full of models and artists makes a beeline straight from the bar to our awkward party. 

“Harry!” Theo shouts, embracing the slightly tipsy man in a hug he reciprocates. 

“It’s been too long mate, how ‘ave you been?” Harry cheers, leaning back from the hug and grinning down at his friend. 

“I’ve been good - busy, enjoying the free bar as always.” Theo jokes, motioning between his and my matching G and T’s. Harry’s eyes wander up from the drink, realisation dawning on his face as he smiles again.

“Ah and you must be the famous Olivia,” He reaches his hand out to mine and shakes it lightly. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, ‘m Harry, it’s good to finally meet you, love.”  

“Likewise.” I smile, trying to suppress the blush his words of endearment tease. I can’t deny the natural charm and charisma everyone always talks about now that it’s hitting me straight on. There’s something about the way he doesn’t hesitate to hold eye contact just that little bit longer that makes the room go still for just a second. He’d got it down to a T.

“Aww I see you two have finally met!” Nick interrupts. My hand falls from Harry’s grip as he’s welcomed into another hug. “About fucking time as well, been trying get this one to take a night off for weeks!”

“I literally came out with you last Thursday!” I counter, not missing the smirk setting on Harry’s face as he watches Nick and I’s back and forth. “And the Saturday before, come to think of it I’m always out with you Nicky.” 

“Not when Harry’s in town though n’ that’s a different kinda night.” Nick laughs, his beer sloshing slightly in his free hand as his other remains draped over Harry’s shoulders. 

That was maybe the first sign of my slight resentment for Harry. All night I wandered around with Theo hearing little bits of conversations, all surrounding the star of the party. I understood this wasn’t his doing, his humility was clear in every one of his bashful attempts to turn the conversation away from his growing achievements and onto literally anything else. He was, however, a self-proclaimed narcissist. Every time somebody would swoon over him and insist he stay the topic of conversation, a smirk tugged at his lips and stayed there as he consumed the endless and animated praise from almost all the party guests. 

I’d expected some of his qualities to be untrue, learning from the past never to believe blindly of someone’s pure character when you didn’t truly know them. Especially when they frequented the gossip columns. But it wasn’t him so much, he was true to his motto of kindness and courteous even as people fawned over him, it was more the attention that surrounded him. As the night went on it became clear what Nick meant even if he didn’t know it himself. A night out with Harry was different because everyone made sure to capitalize off how different he made them feel.

. . . . .

“Can I get you anything else M’am?” The young waitress asks as she clears up my empty mug and saucer. My eyes falter a little as they adjust from the blue light of my laptop I’ve been staring at for the last twenty minutes. 

“Um- oh please could I just get a refill?” I ask. 

“Sure thing - mint tea right?” She smiles, adjusting the mug in her hands to make a quick note. 

 “Yeah..s’perfect - thank you.” She’s gone before she hears my delayed gratitudes, definitely used to the throngs of bemused writers tapping away at their laptops for hours. 

I turn back to my open google doc. So far it’s written in two parts I have no idea how to connect and my senseless rereading hasn’t resulted in any legitimate progress in almost an hour. I’d accept the rut I’m stuck in and work on something else for the day if I didn’t only have the day. Last night had been filled with plans of settling in early and finishing the last two thousand words on an upcoming sustainable clothing brand. That all went out the window of course as my phone buzzed off the kitchen counter with Nick’s insistence of yet another night out to celebrate ending the work week - his was quite different to mine. It was easy to ignore the persistent beeping of my phone as new texts and call notifications popped up every three minutes, but less so when the rhythmic bursts of noise were replaced by knocks on my front door. 

Within 40 minutes of opening it to Nick in a silk shirt and jeans too skinny for someone pushing thirty, I was two drinks in and dancing to Blue DeTiger with a pair of hands on my waist that I didn’t entirely recognise. It was just the six of us: Me, Nick, Ellie, Theo, Julia and Harry.

He was hard to ignore, not that I was trying particularly hard. On the drive over, the limited backseat space in Nick’s car and close proximity had practically forced me into his lap. Even with thighs pressed tightly against each other, we hardly talked, a few polite hellos here and there and then silence as we listened to Eleanor recall her latest night with whichever blonde bassist was her ‘soulmate’ that week. The whole ride over, Harry kept his hands on the thigh closest to the door and leant his shoulders the same way as to touch me as little as possible - which was still quite a lot considering the packed five seater pushing seven passengers. It was fairly common knowledge we weren’t close and I got the feeling he wasn’t too keen on me, but he could at least not act like touching me would be the worst thing ever. 

As the night went on he clung to Theo, ever the cuddly drunk, and I stayed more to the pleasant stranger I’d found on the dance floor.

No meanest was ever intended between us but I couldn’t help but watch the kindergarten like bitterness grow as everyone just loved him. We couldn’t go anywhere without a crying fan or two approaching the sweet and smiling man who always answered their questions affectionately and hugged them goodbye. The times he was out of town were always filled with comments about his absence, as if none of us were good enough without his added presence. I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered to bring me into their little group. The lack of closeness between Harry and I felt almost like a lack of closeness to the group as a whole, despite how much my individual friendships with everyone advanced. 

Just as I thank the waitress - Alice, her name tag read, and take the first sip of my third tea (I had to switch after a particularly strong starter coffee) I notice a familiar man out the corner of my eye looking just as rough as me. Of course he’s wearing it better than I am. 

Harry collects a drink from the counter and bows his head slightly in thanks, turning and catching my eye just as he’s on his way out. He waves with his free hand and shoots me a candid smile before making a quick change in direction towards my small table. 

“Long time no see,” He pulls the chair opposite me out a little as he chuckles at his own joke. He perches lightly, temporarily. “How’ve you been?”

“A little hungover, I won’t lie..” I laugh, surprised by the whole encounter. “You?” 

“Same, I might have had a shot or two too many,” I nod knowingly and shut my laptop softly. He sips what smells like coffee before going on. “Are ya workin? Sorry to interrupt.” 

“Oh no- I mean I am but it doesn’t matter really, ‘ve kinda hit a dead end.” His eyes hover, waiting for me to go on. “I was gonna get it done last night but Nick had other plans..” 

“Yeah Nick’ll do that to you,” He laughs, “What’re you writing ‘bout?” 

He leans slightly forwards, holding eye contact and shuffling comfortably into his chair. 

“Oh just this promotional piece on a new company, they’re hiring young women and training them to make these handmade clothes. They’re paying them above minimum wage and focusing on sustainability so this editor I’ve written for before offered me it.” I’m not really sure how sincere he is in his curiosity, he always seems to have time to listen when Julia has a new design plan or Theo’s found a new artist but that’s different really. I stop before I start to ramble, just in case. 

“That’s so cool, what kinda stuff are they making?” He prompts, resting his chin on his fist, imitating the posture of an eager little kid. 

“They've started stocking stuff by other independent artists but mostly dungarees and these cool cord trousers, they’d suit you actually, even got some 70s style ones.” Now that the two worlds are colliding in my head, I can’t help but imagine Harry in a pair of their forest green cords, the wide legs would almost bury his vans but a part of me is pretty sure he’d love them. 

“Thanks, if they come at your recommendation I might have to get my hands on a pair,” He smiles, his tone’s a lot different to the usual polite cheer, it’s difficult to place where it’s landed before he’s talking again. “Reminds me of that show you took us to with the upcycled clothes, all those dungarees made of old quilts - remember?” 

It’d been a small exhibit just outside of London I’d mentioned offhandedly and somehow ended up showing everyone around. It was nice to have them all in my world for an evening. Marcus, a friend of mine from college, had put it together and created a lot of the pieces. He and the others I’d met through my work were fairly shocked to say the least when Harry Styles came traipsing through the doors behind me. All night he quietly asked Nick questions, to which Nick only responded by motioning towards me and wandering off to the bar. 

“I do - I’m surprised you do to be honest.” It slips before I can decide if it sounds passive aggressive or not. To be fair, it had been a surprise to me, meeting everyone at the train station and watching Harry and Nick scramble out a taxi and run towards us. He’d been dressed in proper gallery attire and seemed genuinely thrilled to be joining in on the rare night I actually played host. 

“Course I do, it was a good night...I’d choose it over Nick’s tequila Tuesdays anyday.” His phone buzzes on the table, a text popping up in green. “Oh I- my manager’s waiting sorry.” 

A sheepish smile is accompanied by a loose arm movement towards the door where, out on the street, I see Jeff. He’s shaking his head and motioning for Harry to hurry up. Had Harry sat down to talk to me whilst his manager had been waiting this whole time? 

“It was good running into you, good luck with it all,” He stands. “See you friday yeah?” 

I’d totally forgotten about his “Whenever I’m in town Friday film night.” until he mentioned it. I’d been twice in the past and stayed quietly to my corner of the sofa, only watching as everyone else laughed at whatever romcom had been chosen that night. 

“I-maybe.” He shakes his head as I smile, not quite ready to commit a whole evening to watching Nick raid Harry’s wine cellar. 

“You better, I’m gonna need to hear more ‘bout those cords.” He points his hand in a kind of joking reprimand/wave before he’s gone back down the aisle of tables to the door where Jeff ruffles a hand through his hair and laughs when his hands fly to fix the now birdnest of brown curls. 

I open my laptop back up, skimming over the last few lines I wrote to get myself back on track. I take a sip and my tea’s gone cold. 

. . . . .

“Are you coming to Harry’s tonight?” Eleanor asks down the phone, her voice chipper as she no doubt raids her closet. 

“Maybe, I don’t know..I’ve got this deadline Monday morning that I’m nowhere near meeting.” 

“Come on Liv, we haven’t seen you all properly together since last month, and last week doesn’t count it was too loud to actually talk!” She chimes in, the sound of clothes being tossed to the floor clear in the distant background. “Have you got a problem with Harry or something?” 

“No Elle, of course I don’t-” 

“Then why do you guys never talk? You hardly come with us when he’s around and when you do you barely even say hello.” Eleanor complains, she’s mentioned it in the past but it’s been easy to blow off with excuses of how busy he usually was making his way around the room to greet everyone or how we just hadn’t known each other that long and weren't particularly close yet. 

“I just...I don’t know, I don’t think he likes me very much.” I pause. I still haven't decided what last Saturday was in the cafe. “We’re not really close and I’d prefer not to spend another night listening to people tell him - and everyone else - how great he is.” 

“You’re saying that like he’s some arrogant twit, if you came out with us more you’d see what he’s really like around his friends. Or you know, you could actually talk to him when we’re together and see that he’s not a dick?” 

It was a fair point. I haven’t made much of an effort over the past year to spend any time with him outside of larger gatherings or to have genuine conversations with him that went past the weather or a new jacket one of us had on. Maybe he really is a good guy away from all the pretentious crowds and watchful eyes he usually called to our group. He’d certainly seemed different in the quiet Saturday surroundings of Blondies Coffee Roasters in between sips of coffee. 

“Okay, okay yeah I’ll see you there.” We hang up a couple of minutes later and I’m left alone in my kitchen again.

. . . . . 

“Hey!” Harry cheers as the door swings open to reveal him in yet another pair of flared pants that hung comfortably around his waist. “Come in, come in.” 

We all pile in through the doorway as he steps aside. Arms weaving through each other as we hang coats and jackets and Julia passes Harry the fruit platter she’d made (and scolded us all for picking at on the drive over.) 

“Oh very appropriate,” Harry laughs as he uncovers the tray to reveal an array of sliced watermelon, strawberries and grapes, He sets the fruit down on the table in the lounge for us all to eat and shakes his head lightly. I look up at Julia for an explanation but she’s too busy claiming the comfiest loveseat for the night. “I’m never telling you anything again, Jules.” 

Julia and Harry tease each other for a moment more until Theo catches my confused stares and laughs to himself. 

“Harry wrote a song ‘bout fruit- another one actually,” Theo starts, tucking himself beside Julia and letting her take over before he can finish. “S’not just about fruit though is it H?” 

Harry blushes slightly and settles his glare on Julia as he carries six wine glasses through to the table. 

“‘S about watermelon, it just has some..” He clears his throat as he fumbles for his next sentence. “Other themes to it too.” 

“As if mate,” Theo’s laughter booms, “ Basically Liv, he wrote this new song the other day all about how much he loves to-” 

“Watermelon!” Harry yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Theo. “S’all about how much I love watermelons...I’m a fruit guy.” 

“Oh are we talking about the pussy song?” 

All heads snap round to see Nick, obviously having let himself in and now chuckling softly to himself as he leans against the archway into the room. 

“Oh sorry H, were you tryna give an interview answer?” 

Harry just slaps his palm over his eyes and lets his shoulders shake for a minute before he bounces back to host mode. 

“Okay!” I can’t help but notice how flushed the tips of his ears are as he claps his hands together, desperately trying to move on from the conversation. “Who wants wine?” 

Fifteen minutes later everyone is settled onto the sofas with an array of throws between us and a layout of fruits, crisps and other mid rom com snacks that make me feel bad I left my flat in too much of a hurry to remember anything but hummus. 

“Okay - Sixteen Candles, When Harry Met Sally or Mamma Mia?” Nick calls out, waving the tv remote above his head to get everyone's attention. An outpour of votes follows - you’d think between only six of us we’d be able to sort out a process by now but still we fall into momentary anarchy as the room divides. 

“Mamma Mia is a classic!” Eleanor protests as Nick’s shaking his head. 

“And Billy Crystal isn’t?” He yells back, eyes wide and genuinely offended. 

“Colin Firth is arguably more iconic, Nick really, come on.” Theo sighs. He accepts the high fives Ellie and I reach out to him and saluts us both. 

“We’ve all seen Mamma Mia before though, we’ve never watched When Harry Met Sally all together,” Julia points out, winning a smirk and nod of approval from Nick. 

There’s a beat of silence while Nick weighs up the votes in his head. He tilts to the side slightly and eyes Harry up, our gazes following. 

“Harry?” 

“Ellie?” 

“Come on, you’ve got the last vote here, and I know how much you like Meryl.” Nick gasps a little, the mention of Meryl Streep as a wager to win Harry over to his opposing team was definitely foul play in his eyes. 

“Yeah but he loves When Harry Met Sally...and he is a narcissist..” Julia offers into the debate, a few snickers follow her comment before we all turn to look at Harry. We’re all already half a glass in but I could swear for just a moment his eyes lingered over me, fluttering down to my smile before turning back to announce his decision to Nick. 

“I’m afraid I am in the mood for a bit of Abba,” Cheers and not so subtle murmurs of frustration fill the lounge as Nick scrolls through the Romance bar on Netflix before clicking on the film of just over half of our choosing. 

Everyone goes quiet as the film starts, breaking out into bursts of song only as the cast does. From the conversation in the car, it’s pretty clear everyone has just been through a pretty tiring week. We all tended to pile our workload a little heavy so it was always nice to escape for a few hours at the weekend and relax together.

Just as Voulez-vous plays through the room, a slightly tipsy Nick leans into Harry to serenade the singer with his own rendition. The duo sway slightly, both narrowly avoiding Nick’s wild limbs before there’s a crash and Harry’s cursing. 

“Oh- H, Sorry!” 

Nick’s wine glass that’d been balanced on the coffee table in front of him moments before now lays on its side. The, luckily white, wine trickles down onto the rug but most noticeably splashes into Harry’s lap. I’m not entirely sure how he managed it, it must have flown forwards when it was knocked but Harry quickly stands to access the damage. 

“I’m so sorry Harry I-” 

“Don’t worry mate, I’m just gonna go change and toss these in the wash..could you wipe that up for me?” Nick nods, looking a little less cheerful and a lot more guilty now as Harry makes it way out the room. He calls behind him: “Keep watching I’ll only be a second!” 

Nick finishes wiping down the table and rug just as Harry jogs back into the room. I don’t mean to and I’m never one to check people out..unless very subtly, but I can’t help but let my eyes linger a little. 

He’s still in his plain tee but instead of his fancy pants he’s found some soft wash denim jeans. The whole look paired with his thick rimmed glasses and how his hair's gotten tousled about by Nick throughout the night just made him look so...ordinary. Not in any bad way, anyone who met Harry knew he could never be ordinary, no matter how casual he dressed, but something about seeing him abandon the more dressed up looks and go for the comfortable option just made him seem different. 

In a second his green eyes are complimenting the look too as he gazes down at me. 

“Hi,” He mouths, nobody’s taken much notice of his return, yet another musical number taking everyone’s attention. It’s my turn to blush a little now. I avert my eyes quickly, anywhere really, before sneaking a quick look up at him to smile back. 

Ellie had helped Nick in the “For fucksake save Harry’s rug it probably costs more than your car” mission and had stolen the seat beside him after they were done. It slipped my mind until Harry set the new bottle of wine on the table and sunk down into the space beside me, He curls one leg underneath him and slips me one more smile before turning back to the screen just as Donna and Sam start singing SOS.

. . . . . 

“Ah shit, I think I left my book!” I curse just as we make it down the road to Julia’s car. Parking was shit so by the time we found a spot we’d ended up a good 15 minutes away from Harry’s house. “You guys go on, I’m only round the corner anyway.” 

Theo and Julia were familiar with my stubbornness so let me go, yelling their goodbyes after a few hugs as they drove away, Ellie and Nick do the same as they clamber into a taxi. I turn quickly in the chilly air and make my way back down the street to Harry’s drive, punching in the familiar code at his gate before running up to the door hastily. 

It was open - as always, so I let myself in. He was probably still cleaning the lounge up after we all got a little too tipsy. 

“Hey it’s me...just left my book sorry!” I call down the hallway. It’s quiet despite the light Paul Simon playing in the distance so I make my way quickly to the sofas I’d spent most of the night on, praying to avoid an awkward run-in with Harry. 

Although we’d actually shared some light conversation throughout the night and a handful of smiles, I’m not sure we’re quite at the stage in our friendship that me more or less breaking into his house wouldn’t be awkward to run into. 

The lounge is empty when I get there. The side tables are still littered with wine glasses and tacky red rings on coasters but no Harry in sight. Or book for that matter. 

I start pulling back the cushions carefully - god knows how much they cost. Despite scouring the one spot I’d pretty much clung to the whole night -  incidentally beside Harry -  I have no luck. Nick tossed the book back to me at some point in the night after reading it by my recommendation but knowing him it could have ended up anyway. I follow the breadcrumbs of our night down another hallway as I vaguely remember Nick talking about a certain plot twist as we searched Harry’s kitchen cupboards for the wine he’d sent us off to restock. 

As I come around the white archway into his kitchen I catch a glimpse of him from around the kitchen island. He has his back turned to me but he’s leant forwards against a counter with ring covered fingers clutching the edge, a glass of amber liquid set slightly away from him. 

“Oh, sorry I was just-” He jumps a little at my voice, turning quickly to face me with his now free hands coming up to hold his chest. When his eyes finally meet mine they’re red and it takes a second for him to register the tears still streaming from them before he replies. 

“Shit, fu- what are you..are you alright?” His hands bat between tangling into his hair and wiping the tears from his cheeks, anything to avoid actually looking up at me again. 

“Yeah, I just..um..left my book,” I mumble, taking a step closer to him when I notice how his hands shake as they move timidly around his face. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“Uuuh um.” He wanders for a moment before slapping a palm lightly atop the counter and pulling out his infamous grin. “Nothing much, how bout you - find your book?” 

“-Harry..” I take another step close, “I know we’re not, ya know..close. But you can talk to me.” 

There’s a beat of silence when he keeps up the act, I’d almost believe it if it wasn’t for his bloodshot eyes and anxious fingers drumming against the tile. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He pauses for a moment, assessing whether or not to tell me whatever’s weighing so heavy on his shoulders. But the dam bursts. 

“Fuckin’ everything Love” He laughs, rubbing his palms over his face. I try to focus on the matter at hand: Harry weeping in his kitchen. But that name’s only ever left his mouth directed at me a handful of times and it’s never made my stomach flutter quite as it did just now. “Just..Fuck I’m so lonely Olivia.” 

I don’t really know any of the details but between conversation - mostly overheard, and the media frenzy, it was hard not to be aware of Harry’s break up two months ago. I can’t claim we were close enough to discuss it, having hardly ever talked beyond trivial issues, but I knew that despite them only being together two or so months, he’d been incredibly distant for the weeks that followed the break up. 

“I hear about you and Aubre..I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you guys-” Harry laughs almost, a pained sort of chuckle that told me I was way off with this one. 

“It’s not..that isn’t why I..” He takes a deep breath before lifting his head up slightly to focus on where his fingers still tapped out a nervous beat on the counter. “I was lonely before her...and with her. I just, I can’t seem to get it right ever...feels like nobody wants to be with me for the right reasons.” 

“Hey no..what about tonight? Your house was full of so many people who love you yeah? Maybe your bougie wine collection had something to do with it but still,” He laughs at that, peeking up from behind his fringe for just a moment. “They- we love you ‘k?” 

“I know but, ‘clock hits the am and everyone leaves, it just gets...it gets so fucking lonely to see everyone in perfect pairs ya know?” 

I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m doing it - my arms wrap over his shoulders and lock with a hand at the nape of his neck. We’ve never hugged before beyond a general greeting but anyone watching wouldn’t know it, his face burrows quickly into my shoulder and his arms cocoon over my waist, holding me tightly and slipping under the thick layers of my jacket. 

“I know exactly what you mean, H.” 

The hug lasts longer than I imagined it might. He smells of vanilla and the coffee he brought back in bulk from Jamaica. He lets out a shaky breath and melts further into me, nuzzling my neck softly with the tip of his nose. His curls are soft between my fingers and I find myself shhing him, lulling us both into a tired kind of calm. 

Another moment passes in the silence of his kitchen before Harry lets out an awkward cough and straightens up, pulling out of our hold and immediately covering his face with his palms again. 

“I..sorry Jules and Theo must be waiting for you..” Harry murmured, wiping the last of his tears away and letting his hands fall and fidget by his sides. 

“Oh no don’t worry they..um they already went I was actually just gonna walk.” I tell him, making his head perk up a bit. 

“Wha-It’s past twelve Liv it’s not safe, how far do you even live?” He clears his throat and his voice is clearer now, it feels like a whole different world to the one we were in just a minute ago. 

“It’s fine honestly, only take like thirty minutes walking - I’ve done it before-” I ramble, eager to put this situation behind me before I embarrass myself anymore. 

“No - let me drive you yeah?” Harry shakes his head, adamant. 

“Harry..we’ve been drinking all night, I think that’s more dangerous than me jus’ walking.” I laugh, holding his gaze for a second longer than I usually would - fuck, how do we usually act around each other?

Before I come to a conclusion, his eyes rest heavy on mine and I can see the cogs turning in his brain as he tries to work his way out of this one. Ever the people pleaser. 

“Then stay.” 

“Harry-”

“You said you know how it feels.” He cuts in, unwavering now as he doesn’t let my eyes fall from his. “So stay ��’s safer anyway.” 

. . . . . 

“I can take the sofa, really Harry I don’t mind,” I reassure as he tosses me an old t-shirt and joggers to sleep in. “It’s comfier than my bed anyway. 

His guest bedrooms had just been painted and were still pretty fume filled so the sofa or his bed were the only options. For twenty minutes now he’s tried to convince me to take his bed and leave him on the sofa, despite the fact we both know he’s a little too tall to sleep without his feet hanging off the end. 

“But you’re my guest!” He protests again, coming up from his wardrobe to stand in front of me, hand on hips and an expression of concern on his face. 

“And you’re almost six foot!” 

“Hey, I am six foot.” He takes a deep breathe, exhaling through his nose in defeat before speaking again. “Okay, you can sleep on the sofa but if anyone asks I was the perfect host and you bullied me into this.” 

I laugh softly, this whole new side of Harry had never been directed solely at me before and it was honestly refreshing. Usually Nick or another friend was the target of his jokes and playful demeanor and I only noticed it from afar but now he was right in front of me, hauling pillows off his bed and sticking his tongue out when he caught me staring. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He asks for the third time since I agreed to stay the night. We’ve just finished setting up the sofa to sleep on and despite the duvet and many quilts far more lush than my own actual bed, he seemed unconvinced it was enough. 

“I’m sure” I sit back into the pile of blankets and pillows, tucking my feet underneath me and looking back up at Harry. “If you’re really not, just come watch a film with me and see how cozy it is.” 

The quick change in dynamic was a lot smoother than I’d imagined. Within an hour of being alone together we’d already talked more than in all our past interactions, not to mention how close we’ve gotten. He only nods his head quickly and he’s settling under a quilt beside me, rummaging around for a controller to pull up netflix again. 

“Mamma Mia two?” He asks. 

I chuckle a bit and nod. At the beginning of the evening I hadn’t quite seen it ending in a Mamma Mia marathon with just me and Harry. 

He presses play and as the opening display begins we both lean back into the sofa and pull the blankets up over us. It’s only in the quiet of the first few scenes that I notice we’re matching. We’re both dressed fully in his clothes, grey joggers and t-shirt - his rolling stones, mine fleetwood mac. And it all smells of him. I pull the blanket a little higher over my chest and the faint, but now familiar, scent of vanilla and coffee fills my lungs and for a second all I can focus on is how desperately I want to be in his arms again. 

. . . . .

“-ow” A groggy voice mumbles from above me and I feel myself being pulled forwards slightly against something hard - and warm. 

I’m a few seconds from falling straight back asleep before I feel the painful ache in the side of my neck. I reach a hand up to gauge my current situation and feel my fingers plunging into soft hair - soft hair that ends too soon to be mine. 

“Hi..” I recoil my hand quickly back to my side and push myself up so I’m sitting slightly. I look down and see Harry, half asleep still and hand still resting on my side. 

“Oh-hey sorry,” What do you say when you wake up beside the guy you barely knew but simultaneously had been incredibly vulnerable with just the night before? 

Harry seems to be waking up now and certainly more aware of our predicament as he pulls his hand away from where it was holding firmly onto the material of my - his - t-shirt and pushes himself up to sit against the arm of the sofa. 

“We must have fallen asleep..sorry I didn’t mean too, ya know…” His eyes flutter between where I sit opposite him and the “Are you still watching?” Netflix screen. 

“It’s fine, accidents happen an’ everything.” I smile, slipping out from the warm cocoon of blankets to stand. “I’m just gonna wash up quickly and I’ll be out of you hair.” 

Before I can rush off to tame my hair and hopefully find some toothpaste to rid me of my morning breath, Harry clasps his hand gently around my wrist and tugs slightly to get my attention. 

“Not in a rush Love, I’ll make us some breakfast.” He says it effortlessly, like it was a regular occurrence for us to fall asleep cuddling on his sofa. He stands, groaning as his knees pop appreciatively and lets my hand go before he’s disappearing into the kitchen.

“Okay…” I murmur to myself. “....okay.” 

. . . . .  

Alice is back at my table with my second refill before 11am. I thank her and take a gulp of the fiery ginger tea before reading over the last three paragraphs I just wrote. The spice licks my tongue as I tip the cup up for a second sip; it’s autumn after all. 

In the last two weeks September had slipped into October and all the trees in London had received the memo. I’d been busy, hoaled up in the quietest corner of Blondies the whole time with coffee filling all my senses. I haven’t seen everyone together since that night at Harry’s. I grabbed lunch with Eleanor the Monday afterwards and told her nothing, preferring to avoid the texts my phone amassed over the fortnight. I've turned down all proposed group activities and focused on work instead. To be fair, I do have a lot to get done. There were always seasonal pieces in my to do list and with the weather getting colder it was time I got to them before it was Christmas already. 

I haven’t talked to Harry either. He made us pancakes with blueberries and maple syrup in the morning and we haven’t even texted since; I’m not sure that we even have a private text between us. Eleanor and Julia have told me how much fun they’ve all had the times I’ve politely but persistently declined, I can only assume Harry’s in the mix with them all. He’s in town for awhile if I’m remembering our breakfast chatter correctly, it makes sense that they’re all hanging out together really when they don’t often get time together. Ellie’s phone calls keep me from sliding into thoughts of how easily I could fall right out of the group and not be missed, at least. I was just taking space for work. The fact that most of my afternoons at the cafe disappeared into me analysing anything I might ever have felt or said to Harry means nothing at all. 

Neither does the heightened pace of my heartbeat when he walks through the stiff wooden  doors of Blondies. 

He orders what I assume is his regular black coffee, scans the room for a second and lands directly on me. He hesitates a little to hold my gaze, turning his head to look outside before looking back at me and smiling. He thanks the server and takes a few quick steps towards me, weaving in between the packed tables to my little spot hidden away in the corner. 

“Hi,” He smiles again, although his toneos overshadowed by a slight anxious hilt. “Can I sit?” 

Nodding, I close my laptop and pull my tea closer to me to make a space for him. 

“Hi.” He repeats, smiling a little sheepishly. 

“Hi,” I wait a second, nervous to start when I’m so unsure of how this conversation has already gone in his head. But he doesn’t say anything so I push through and bite the bullet against my better judgement. “Look, about that Friday I-”

“Can I just-” He cuts me off, leaning forwards and opening his hands out as he mulls over his next few words. “I’m sorry if it was awkward at all, I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I thought we were fine an’ everything but then I haven’t seen you in two weeks and Ellie keeps saying you’re not comin’ out. Did I do something wrong?” 

“Oh god no,” I hurry, “You didn’t do anything it was just - I didn’t expect to wake up..like that...and it was just a really quick change because we’ve never really been close and suddenly it was just, us, like that.” 

He nods, pushing a loose curl back a second later that broke free in the motion. He seems understanding as he looks down before leaning his elbows against the table so only the two of us can hear what he’s about to say. 

“I know, I didn’t expect it either but, can I just tell you I’m glad that it happened?” He leaves a three second pause for me to flounder in confusion before continuing. “What I told you, ‘bout feeling lonely, it messes with my sleep all the time. I just get stuck in my own thoughts but the night you stayed over I slept fine - perfect even.”

Not sure what else to do with this new information, I nod for him to continue.

“I know we’ve never been close, but hanging out with you just really calmed me down.” He smiles, gaining confidence now in his vulnerability tucked away in our little hiding place. “Thank you for staying.” 

“I get what you mean.” I mumble, slightly anxious any of the busy customers with prying eyes could overhear my confession. “I never really know when to stop working and I think I got the best night sleep on your sofa I’ve had in awhile, which really speaks volumes about how crappy my mattress is.”  

He chuckles. Relief seems to settle in as he lets his shoulders relax and face soften. 

“I was thinking - especially now that I know it was good for you as well, maybe it could become more of a regular thing?” He asks, his forefinger and thumb pinch together and twist one of his rings a little - a nervous habit, I’m sure. 

“How do you mean?” 

“Like..when we all go out, maybe we go home together, you know - so we can sleep better.” He moves down to focus on the metal rose he’s still fumbling at. “If..if you don’t want to or you think it’d be weird it’s fi-” 

“I’d like that.” I reach forwards to comfort him, absentmindedly cupping my fingers around his. “I think it’d be nice, to get a good night's sleep I mean.” 

“I’m glad.” He beams.

“..That and you make a mean blueberry pancake.” I tease, earning a light chuckle from Harry. 

Just like our last cafe encounter, the ping of a his phone beats me to my new few words. He checks it quickly, shaking his head and glancing down the large room to the shop front where, once again, Jeff waits. He seems a little more agitated this time, waving vigorously whilst trying not to attract the attention of passersby, all  rather unsuccessfully. 

“Bollocks okay - I’ve gotta go,” Harry swears, collecting his coffee from the table and pushing his chair back quickly. “I’ll just - we can text before we go out next yeah?” 

“Cool, yeah - wait a sec, let me just give you my number.” I reach up for him to hand me his phone but he doesn’t make any effort to move, instead he blushes slightly and stares at the floor. “..What?” 

“I um, I already have it.” He fiddles with the hair at the nape of his neck before talking again. It’s hard not to remember how it felt when it was my fingers carding through his brown curls. “I got it from Theo awhile back when we were going to this thing, felt weird not having it. I hope that..okay and everythin’” 

I nod, smiling up at him. The idea of him having a part of me for this past year without me even knowing is oddly precious. The fact that he felt odd about not having my number and going to the effort of getting it from Theo was unbelievably endearing. 

“That’s fine, helpful actually.” I smile still, “Text me before we meet everyone and we’ll make a plan or somethin’” 

“Okay,” He smirks, his slight cocky nature reemerging. “Will do, Liv. See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

Jeff flies a hand up to his hair like before but this time is met with a grinning Harry who doesn’t seem to mind so much. 

. . . . . 

Unknown Number 

‘Hey! Is tonight good? We can slip off after drinks at the gallery. H x’ 

I look down at my phone. Caught off guard by the sudden text, I’d almost forgotten out arrangement. Julia invited us all to a gallery opening of one of her friend's new exhibits. Even as I flicked through my wardrobe for the right jacket, I hadn’t put two and two together and realised I’d be seeing Harry again for the first time since our chat at Blondies four days ago. 

I save his number and I think quickly, not wanting to leave him on read when he knew I’d be leaving to see them all any second and most likely spend the whole tube journey on my phone. 

‘Hi :) That’d work for me yh, just let me know when you want to leave and I’ll make an excuse. Liv x’ 

With another thought rushing through my head, I send a quick follow up. 

Me

‘Can we keep this between us right now? Might be a bit tricky to explain to the others.” 

Harry

‘Read my mind love.’

‘See you in a bit :)’ 

I’m still not the hugest fan of the airy feeling that rushed through my stomach as I read over the pet name. He was just from Manchester, it was normal up there to call everything by casually affectionate little names. It didn’t mean anything at all. 

. . . . . 

“Livia!” Nick calls out when he sees me scanning over the faces at the entrance to the gallery. I smile instantly and make my way over, quickly falling into his arms as he rocks us for a second. “Haven’t seen you in an age!” 

“‘Ve been working, we can’t all piss about Monday to Friday.” I giggle, smiling wide as he murmurs something under his breath and plants a big kiss on my cheek. “Is everyone here?” 

I try not to look suspicious when I peak over around us, trying to pick a certain brunette from the crowd.

“Yeah, they’re just over there with Julia’s friend.” Nick points and I see him immediately. He’s dressed just as I expected - half gucci half grandpa sweaters. “I’m gonna get us drinks, meet you there?” 

“Mhmmm” I hum, breaking out of his hold and slipping through the crowds to our small group of friends. 

“Hi!” Julia smiles brightly. She hugs me quickly before stepping aside to give Eleanor and Theo their turns. They all whisper quiet ‘Missed yous’ in my ear as if I’ve been gone for years. 

“Hey,” Harry appears by my side as everyone else turns their attention to the front of the crowd where it looks like the artist is setting up to introduce the night. “How’ve you been?” 

“In the last four days?” I chuckle, “Good. Not been sleeping great, but I’ve got a lot of work done so that’s been great.” 

He nods approvingly. A smile tugs at his lips at the mention of sleep, almost like some secret inside joke we’ve managed to form between just the two of us. 

“Me neither. Jeff’s been buggin’ me what feels like every hour with deadlines.” I find myself squeezing his hand a little under his long coat sleeves so nobody can see. “Looking forward to just collapsing tonight, if I’m honest.” 

“Me too.” I smile tiredly, tonight had been a big ask come to think of it. I've had work piled up twice my height all week and even having worked day in and day out I’ve still only made a crack in the mountain of final edits and emails to respond to.

Harry squeezes my fingers back and our hands linger in each other's hold until Nick emerges beside us and the artist begins her speech. 

. . . . .

 The comfortable chatter surrounding the booth we’d taken up a few hours ago died down as the clock ticked later and later. We’d left the gallery a while ago now in favour of the after party at a pub down the road but by now the heavy scent of beers and various gin based concoctions were giving us all headaches. 

“I think I’m gonna call it a night guys,” Harry announces, a slew of groans following from the group. “Sorry, sorry! It’s been great but it’s getting late.” 

Julia and Theo move out the way to let him out the booth. He slides across the red cushion to stand, pulling his coat over himself as he sneaks a quick look at me. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too,” I smile, waiting for Eleanour to stand and let me out as another wave of complaints flooded me. “Sorry! I’ve got work and the tube’ll be hell any later.” 

“Well if Harry’s going too couldn’t he take you home?” Julia suggests, looking between the two of us as we now stand slightly away from each other. “You drove right?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Harry turns to smile at me, amused clearly by how our plan was being unknowingly encouraged by our friends. “C’mon, I’ll drive yeh.” 

I nod, biting back a smirk. We say our goodbyes and wave as we slip out the heavy pub doors out onto the road outside. It’s started to drizzle slightly and I resent choosing the jacket without a hood. 

“I’m just over here,” Harry points a little ways off. “Hurry, think it’s about to pour.” 

We walk quickly down the street and through a metal gate into a car park when there’s a loud rumble of thunder and immediately the rain thickens. 

“Fuck!” Harry laughs as he scrambles for his keys, we match each other's paces until we’re practically sprinting to his car in the far corner of the lot. The click of the locks sounds out and his lights flash red a second before we’re both pulling the doors open and throwing ourselves inside onto warm seats. 

We catch our breath, chests rising and falling with uneven pants before our laughter settles and Harry slots the keys into the ignition. 

. . . . . 

“Do you want anything to eat?” Harry asks as he closes his front door behind us and we kick out shoes off in his hall. “I think I have some takeout menus somewhere..” 

“I’m not really hungry, thanks though,” I cut off his search as he walks through to his kitchen and starts opening draws. “Kinda just wanna go to bed now.” 

He nods and rubs a hand under his eye in silent agreement of my exhaustion.

“I’ll make us a tea, meet you up there yeah?” He calls over his shoulder, having turned quickly to retrieve various packets from his cupboards. “Chamomile okay?” 

“Yeah chamomiles good,” I hover for a second in the archway leading into the kitchen, suddenly awkward to be alone in his house again. “Where um..where is it?” 

He looks over his shoulder at me, slightly confused. His eye brows unfurrow when I motion behind me. 

“Oh- just up the stairs and third room down the hall..on the left.” He smiles, turning back to the cupboard to look through his extensive mug collection. 

I nod to myself, spinning on my heel and making my way up his stairs. I’ve never gone beyond the downstairs of his house before and even then I stuck to the kitchen, dining room and lounge. It felt odd to suddenly have access to something as intimate as his bedroom, I try not to overthink things as I push open the third door I see.

The first thing I see is his large bed, there’s probably enough room for three people on it and there’s definitely enough pillows to go around. The room as a whole is tidy, whether it’s always like that or only organised so precisely for my visit, I don’t know, but the thought makes my stomach flutter. 

I walk up to the side of the bed with no charger on it’s table and set my bag down. We hadn’t talked about the logistics of our...arrangement, but I’d brought the basics to last me through the night. I plug my charger into the wall and take out my wash bag and a set of clothes to sleep in before sliding my bag under the table. I look around for a second. Somehow I hadn’t really thought through the fact that by the end of the night, I’d be in Harry’s bed. With Harry. In a completely platonic way with the only function to soothe our mutually crappy sleeping habits. 

I hear Harry walking up the stairs just as I slip into the un suit to wash up and get changed. He’s humming a song under his breath. The clink of mugs being set down is followed by wardrobe doors opening and closing and a light thud of clothes being thrown on the bed. 

I wait a few minutes to make sure I don’t walk in on him changing. Opening the door tentatively, I step out into the room in a large sweater and pajama shorts. Harry turns to look at me, he’s in the same t-shirt he wore last time and a pair of boxer shorts and the whole situation suddenly seems so amusing. After just one night of falling asleep on the sofa together, not having ever talked before, here we are standing at our most vulnerable about to cuddle in his bed together.

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” He nods, looking down at himself. “Hope this is okay...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-” 

“It’s fine,” I reassure him, “I didn’t really know what to wear either.” 

His eyes flicker down my body and he smiles back up at me. He motions to the bed and we both nod a little awkwardly before making our way over to our sides. I climb in and instantly let a small groan out as my body sinks into the mattress, the pillows and duvet feel almost like a cloud as I burrow under and pull my tea up to my lips. 

Harry chuckles from beside me, I peak over the mug to seem him grinning down from where he sits slightly taller in the bed.

“Sorry, you look comfy.” He laughs a little, 

“I am, your bed’s insane.” I set my mug down and turn to him, bouncing slightly to emphasise the quality of his mattress that probably cost more than a year of my rent. “I really should start earning millions, feel like it’d suit me.” 

He returns his tea to the bedside table and copies me, turning to face me with his legs crossed. 

“It definitely would.” He smiles, bouncing a little before I let out a yawn. “Tired?” 

“Exhausted.” I mumble, hand still covering half my face. Harry reaches behind him to turn to switch the lights above his headboard off before pulling the duvet back for us to slip under.

“C’mere,” Without hesitating, I shuffle back slightly until I can feel his chest behind me and an arm come up to rest around my hip. “‘This okay?” 

“Mhmmm,” I hum, “What about our teeth?”

“We’ll brush ‘em in the morning,” I nod, groaning again as all the aches in my body subside as I sink into his arms and the foam mattress. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” I mumble, embarrassed to have let myself go so easily around him. “Your mattress is just unbelievable. Might have to make this a regular thing.” 

I speak before I think, mind clouded with sleep and my eyes already fighting to stay open. 

“That’s the plan, love.” 

. . . . . 

When I wake up, Harry’s arms are tight around my middle and his body’s like a furnace behind me. I vaguely recall pulling my sweater off in the night to cool down as I lay now only in a vest and shorts. I slept better than I have in months though, despite the warm breaths on my neck turning my cheeks flushed. 

The mix of Harry’s company and his safe haven of a mattress made for the perfect night sleep. I push back slightly into his chest and feel his arms tighten around me and a low murmur of his voice in my ear. The clock on my bedside table reads 6:30. It’s a Saturday and I can quite easily imagine spending the rest of my day - weekend even, exactly like this. 

I slip back to sleep for a little awhile before I’m woken up to a low groan behind me. Harry shifts slightly, burying his face in the base of my neck and squeezing around my waist again. He must still be half asleep to be this comfortable with me. 

I’m proven right when it takes another fifteen minutes for him to poke his head up over my shoulder and mumble: 

“Breakfast?” 

. . . . . 

Our routine works smoothly for weeks. After sleeping so well the first few times, it became a given that we’d pile into Harry’s car after every night out with our friends and go back to his. Sometimes we’d get takeout or watch a film, but it wasn’t so rare that we’d just stumble out of his car, or a taxi - depending what the night had entailed, and walk with eyes almost closed straight to bed. 

I stopped bringing things every night about two weeks in when a new toothbrush appeared next to Harrys and an oversized t-shirt of Harrys found its way onto my side of the bed. We also ditched the awkward pleasantries. Spending two or three nights a week in his house, I’d become pretty familiar with it all. I sometimes brought us breakfast if it was a weekend, or left a coffee beside the bed for him if I left for work first, We had very easily slipped into an oddly familiar sense of domesticity. It was strange to never mention any of it to our friends, it made it special though. We helped each other, and it was all just between the two of us. Nobody else knew Harry taught me how to make coffee just the way he likes it, or that we share his lavender shampoo sometimes. 

“Ols?” Harry calls up the stairs to me. We’re running late to Julia and Theos anniversary dinner. 

“Coming!” I yell back, reaching into his wardrobe to snatch a jacket before running down the stares. 

“Oi! Slow down love, you’re gonna fall,” He complains, holding his hands out at the bottom of the stairs to catch me as I skid a little on the wooden floors of his hallway. “Hey! This’s mine!” 

He tugs playfully on the opening of his jacket. I pull the fabric from his grasp and smile up at him. 

“Not anymore…” He scrunches his nose up and pulls me towards him. The sudden movement pushed the air from my lungs suddenly. “-Fine! Just for tonight...nobody’ll notice anyway, you only just got his one.” 

He shakes his head, bringing his fingers up to tickles across my stomach quickly before letting me go and clapping his hands. 

“Shoes now!” He points down at my sock clad feet, “Come on we’re late already.” 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and slip my boots on before trailing after him to the front door. He’s pulled his large green coat off the hangar before he’s looking back down at me, brows pulled together in confusion. 

“What’ve got yeh bag for?” 

“Ah see Harry, I tend not to leave my stuff places I don’t actually live.” I laugh.

“You’re not coming back tonight?” The confusion’s not joined by a hint of sadness as his hands fall from the door knob and he turns to face front on. 

“Oh I..hadn’t thought ‘bout that. I’ve gotta water my plants.” I haven't been home in two days, I spent the whole day at Blondies yesterday then headed to Harry's after a few drinks with him and Nick. We’ve hung out around his house all day, sleeping in and finishing our last few bits of work for the week. “I can let them go a little dry I guess-” 

“Can I come to yours?” Harry cuts me off to ask. “It’s just, I haven’t ever seen it..and that way your plant’ll be fine.” 

I stay quiet for a second. Our world of sleepovers and movie marathons and home made curries for dinner existed within his house. My flat was small in comparisons to the homes of our friends, who were all, delicately put, pretty well off. Not that I wasn’t, I’d just gone into a lower paying area of my industry. I lived alone anyway so there wasn’t much point paying thousands in rent when I didn’t need much space. 

“It’s fine it you want a night to yourself I can just-” 

“It’s not that, H, I just didn't really think about how we only ever come here.” I mumble the last part, “Come back to mine, I don’t feel like going back on my own anyways.” 

I smile a little, unsure of where we stand on the whole admitting we’d grown pretty dependent on each other’s presence, front. He smiles back, twisting the door open and holding it for me as I slip under his arm. 

The car clicks unlocked and I settle into my seat. I reach over to push my seat belt in as Harry pulls his door shut and the car rumbles to a start. 

“Can’t believe Jules and T have been together so long.” He sighs as we pull out onto the main road. 

“Tell me about it,” I gaze out the window as rain dribbles lightly. “Feels like the year just went straight by.”

“They seem so happy still, like they’re still honeymooning,” Harry hums. 

“I remember when they just started going out in Uni, even then it was obvious they’d end up together.” 

“I like those kinds of people. The ones who make each other just completely themselves, ya know?” He glances over at me before turning back to the road. 

“Yeah...they’re proper soulmates aren’t they.” 

. . . . . 

“Okay but seriously, what the fuck is up with you and Harry?” Eleanor bursts out as soon as we reach the bar. We’ve been sent off to get the third round whilst the others stayed at our favourite booth of the pub we frequented. 

“Wait what?” I yell over the loud chatter of the pub, “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean!” She’s still waving her hand out for the bartender when she glances down at me again. “You’re tryna say you’re suddenly so close and nothing’s happened between you?” 

“We’re not that close.” I quip, “We’ve just talked a bit more lately, I guess.”

“And nothing’s happened?”  She raised a brow at me suspiciously. “You guys have left together every night for the past few weeks, just admit you have feelings for each other.” 

“No, nothing’s happened.” I sigh, unsure if I sound convincing or not. “We just live close and it’s too cold now to get the tube back so late, he’s just being nice. You know Harry...he’s like that with everyone.” 

Eleanor laughs a little, shaking her head. She places our order with the bartender when he makes his way to our side of the bar before turning back to me with her arms crossed. 

“He’s nice to everyone, but he’s not just being nice to you.” She smirks, “And he usually doesn't give just anybody his clothes.” 

She reaches out and rubs the fabric of my - Harrys - jacket between her thumb and forefinger. She looks up and quirks her brows up a little again. Before I can splutter out an explanation our drinks are being laid out on the counter beside us and Eleanor is pointing to the ones for me to carry and turning back to our booth. 

A surge of anxiety washes over me as I follow Eleanor back to the group. My breaths feel unsteady and I can’t help but dart my eyes to get a quick glance at Harry to see if he’s experiencing the same kind of interrogation. He seems fine though, laughing at something Nicks said. 

Soon we’re at the booth, slipping back into our seats and setting the drinks out in front of everyone. Harry’s eyes hover on me for a few seconds, brows raised a little in question. I smile and shake my head - everything’s fine. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor glances between us throughout the whole night. Especially not when a different two get up for the next round and Harry and I are pushed next to each other when they climb back into the available seats. Harry seems a little suspicious too. He clearly hasn’t noticed Eleanor’s strange behaviour - or doesn’t care - because he’s kept gazing down at me every now and then since we came back with drinks hours ago. When I stop looking up at him, nervous Eleanor might question me about his constant and slightly nervous glances when we’re alone, he reaches his hand under the tables and pulls mine into his lap. He squeezes our hands every now and then. He’s always a touchy, cuddly drunk. Normally it’s a bit more obvious; he’ll wrap his arms around one of us on the dance floor or lap his head on a shoulder, nothing too intimate. Just friendly. But now he’s stroking his thumb over my knuckles and tapping out the beat of the current song playing with his foot, his knee bumping mine. 

Julia and Theo are the first to go. Relief settles in me at the idea of not being the first two to leave for once. There’s no way Eleanor wouldn't’ve have noticed me and Harry sneaking the other a glance like we usually do to signal we’re ready to go, without some kind of distraction. 

“It was so lovely guys, feels like we haven’t just sat down and talked in so long!” Julia smiles, leaning into Theos side tiredly as they say their goodbyes. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too, it’s getting pretty late,” I smile, waiting for Harry to speak when Theo pipes up before him. 

“Livs, you want a lift?” Theo looks down at me. 

“Oh Olivia, that’s a good idea, you were just saying how it’s too cold for the tube.” Eleanor beams, smiling cheekily as she knows I’m the only one who’ll understand her subtle teasing. 

“Oh I-” I stutter before Harry’s squeezing my hand again and looks up at Theo. 

“I was actually gonna take her home, we’re only 10 minutes apart so it’s just easier.” He smiles politely, if I couldn’t feel his foot hooking over mine I’d believe he was just being nice and helping out a friend. 

“Yeah but you’re gonna stay a little while aren’t you?” Julia countered, “We’re pretty close, it’s fine really.” 

I nod, motioning to slide out of the booth. Harry lets me by, dropping my hand before anyone else could see. Julia, Theo and I say goodbye quickly and head out to the car park. As soon as we’re all strapped into their car, I pull out my phone and click Harry’s contact. 

Me 

Meet me at mine x

Harry 

Okay - what was that about? 

Me 

I’ll explain when u get here, just something w Eleanor

U might have been right about the jacket :/ 

Theo pulls up outside my flat and I jump out the car, thanking them quickly and waving them off. I climb the stairs of my building and click the keys in my door, pushing it open and kicking my shoes off the second I get in. After a fifteen minute frantic clean, the place is looking slightly better. There’s no time to perfect it as I hear my phone buzzing on the counter, a dorky photo of Harry in one of his infamous sweaters all sprawled out on the sofa and sticking his tongue out at me flashes the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, I’m just outside,” He talks softly, “What number are you?” 

“24, wait a sec and I’ll buzz you up.” 

I tread quickly to the button by my front door and let him up, hearing a quiet thanks over the phone and a “See you in a sec”  before the line goes dead. 

A minute later there’s a quiet knock at my door. I open it and see Harry, he looks a little more tired than when I left him forty minutes ago, he rubs his knuckles under his eyes and sighs softly. 

“Hey, come in.” I pull the door a little wider, stepping aside to let him inside. He walks past me, eyes watching the floor whilst I lock the up behind us and turn to face him. There's an awkward tension in the air that I haven’t experienced with Harry before, maybe a little that first night when I walked in on him in his kitchen, but nothing like this since we’ve gotten closer.  

“What happened?” He asks quietly, lifting his head with an uncertain look on his face.”You barely even looked at me. 

“I..” I stumble over what to say, I’ve been thinking I could just explain what Eleanor had said and have it done with but now I know we’re not going to be able to just leave this. If somebody’s going to find out about our arrangement then something would have to change. “Ellie thinks there’s something going on with us and she kept staring all night. I just, I couldn’t give her anything to be suspicious about.” 

“S’that what you mean about the jacket?” I nod, “What did she say?” 

“Just that we seemed closer, talk more I guess.” I sigh, “She didn’t believe anything I said.” 

“What did you say?” He presses. His tone is unclear, he seems less hurt now and more focussed on getting answers from me. 

“I just, I told her nothing’s happened.” I mumble, “She asked about us leaving together and I told her it was just because we lived close and it’s easier than the tube.” 

Harry bobs his head a little, taking in what I’ve just told him before laughing a little. He shakes his head and brings his palms up to his face, cursing under his breath. We stand in the quiet of my hallway before he speaks up again.

“Can we still do this?” That catches me off guard. Of course I knew we’d have to stop sometime when one of us started dating or a friend found out, I just hadn’t thought seriously about it happening anytime soon. “If she does find out, would that be the worst thing in the world?”

I shake my head, taking a step towards him to close the gap between us that’d been building my nerves throughout this whole exchange. 

“I don’t wanna stop hanging out.” I confess. Harry quirks his lips up a little, obviously relieved as he pulls me to his chest. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his chin on my head as we breathe together for a moment. All the while we’ve been spending nights at his, there’s been no serious moments like this. We’ve opened up about vulnerable subjects and confessed more than we probably should have to each other, but never anything like this. There’d never been a  time I thought I could lose him. 

“What if something did happen.” He whispers into my hair. 

“Like what?” I murmur, voice a little muffled by his jacket. 

“Like..” He trails off a little and I’m pretty sure I hear him inhale a little and smell my hair. “Like what if I kissed you..or something.” 

“Or something?” My chest tightens, stomach fluttering suddenly. 

“Mmhhhmm,” He hums, “What would happen then?” 

“Eleanor would have a field day.” 

Harry laughs, shoulders shaking a little as he giggles above me. He loosens his grip on my and pushes away to create a little space to see me again. 

“Oh yeah?” He teases. 

“Uh huh,” I smile, “She’d never let us forget it if she knew she was right.” 

“And what would she be right about?” Harry lifts his hand to cup my face, tilting it slightly to make sure I’m staring right up at him. 

“..Something..happening.” I whisper, “Having feelings for eachother.” 

Harry grins, cheeks a soft rosy between the outside cold and the new blush. He strokes the pad of his thumb against my cheek and beams down at me. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Uh huh…” 

“Really..she’d be right about that?” 

“I’m pretty sure-” 

Before I can tease anymore, Harry’s leaning down to press his lips against mine. I inhale sharply, closing my eyes and looping my arms around the back of his neck to hold us in place. His hand still holds my face firmly, thumb fluttering over my cheek a couple times before he pulls away and we both breathe in deep. 

“She’s definitely right.” He smiles, tone turning serious for a moment. “I really like you Olivia.” 

Butterflies surge through my stomach for the millionth time since he walked through my door. Blushing and happy, I tighten my arms and push my face back into his shoulder. 

“I like you too H….just a little bit.” 

“We don’t have to tell anyone, just want this to be ours for a little while.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back down to whisper into my ear. 

“I want this to be ours forever.” I hum, words quiet and part of me hoping he doesn't hear my honest confession. 

A comforting quiet settles over us. I remember how tired I really am as I melt further into Harry’s body, breathing in the sweet cinnamon and vanilla scent. His breathing lulls me half to sleep as I let my eyes flutter shut and bury my head further into his neck. I feel him lifting me up as my body relaxes against his and I catch his last few words before I he’s shifting me into his arms and walking us up the stairs. 

“I could hold you ‘n listen to your voice all night long, love.” 

. . . . .    

“Oh my god!” Julia yells out, unravelling a long shawl from pristine white tissue paper. “Okay whoever got me, thank you so much!” 

She continues to squeal a little as he wraps it over her shoulders and presses the end to her nose, inhaling the lavender scent of her favourite designer brand. 

I’d only spent one Christmas with the whole group before but it was clear secret Santa was a bit of a tradition. Between the six of us we all had other friends, family and mostly, relationships. Organising a secret santa within our group just relieved some of the stress of present buying - and it was fun. 

We’re all sitting around Harry’s living room, it felt the homiest  to us after all. The kiddy advent calendar I bought for him hung by the fireplace reading December 21st. We’ve all finished our egg nogs, meaning it was officially present time. Over the next few days we’ll all be driving up and down the country to visit family, meaning today’s the last day most of us will be seeing each other. Harry had whined about me leaving, begging me to stay another day with him or better yet - spend christmas with his family up north. 

It was when I told him my own parents were spending the holidays visiting my sister and her kids in New York that his campaign started. We kissed almost three months ago now and have been on a slew of dates since. Between all the secret dinners out, brunches and farmers market trips, we haven’t found time for the talk. We had no official title. I’ve heard Harry refer to me as “m’girl” a couple times when I’ve wandered into the kitchen and overheard him on the phone to mitch, but nothing he’s told me himself. Despite this, he still insists I have to come and spend christmas with him and his close family. The idea of me hanging out with my young cousins and distant relatives apparently doesn’t satisfy him. 

“Are you serious!” Eleanor gasps as she unwraps her own present. Everyone had picked the perfect gifts for each other this year. In a pure coincidence, I ended up with Harry’s name after Nick made me trade because he’d already bought Julia’s present for her. I’ve been nervous about it all evening, I was sure he’d like it, a little too sure. That was the problem. One night, wrapped up in Harry’s bed, he’d recalled his latest tragedy to me: He’d taken shroom with Mitch on his last trip to LA and subsequently decided to skinny dip in the sea, losing his favourite mustard cords in the process. The only times we’ve seen everyone else has been with the both of us present and , to my knowledge, he hasn’t mentioned this to anyone else. The brown paper package that sat on the coffee table could invite a few more questions that I was prepared to answer. 

“Harry, you’re next!” Ellie grinned, hugging her present to her chest. 

Thanks to our early secrecy, there’s been no opportunity to tell our friends we were dating. Eleanor hasn’t stopped her constant questioning but we’ve kept up a pretty good front of excuses. It was still freezing out so it made sense for us both to climb into his car together at the end of the night. Nobody had to know we would be going home to the same house where we’d climb into the same heavenly bed and scramble eggs together in the morning. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Harry laughs as Ellie tries to hurry him up, playing perfectly into her role as the youngest in our group. 

He pulls the first fold of paper back with his ringed fingers and immediately looks up at me as the mustard fabric shines up at him. He grins wide, beaming back at me before pulling the rest of the paper back and laying the trousers out in front of him. 

“No babe...where did you find them?” He’s running his fingers down the cord, in awe to have his favorite trousers back - or at least a copy. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor and Nick’s heads turn to share a look of shock as the pet name tumbles out. Before I can put anything together, Harry’s standing and leaning over the coffee table. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug and whispering his thanks in my ear. 

“Wait I dont - how did you know it was h-” Julia pipes up, before she can finish she’s cut off by the joint gasps of Nick and Ellie as Harry plants a wet kiss to my cheek - then my lips, and laughs at our friends reaction. 

“I knew it!” Ellie yells, pointing frantically between the two of us, Harry now having stepped over the table and come to sit next to me, pulling me into his side.

“What was-” Julia stammers, “Since when!” 

Harry’s eyes flutter down to my face. He giggles quietly when he catches on to my glare. This wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined the evening going. 

“Have you just been lying to my face for the past three months?” Ellie asks, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting her lips. 

“Five,” Harry mumbles, almost just as an inside joke for the both of us to enjoy. I slap my hand against his shoulder to shut him up but the damage is already done. 

“Five months!” Even Theo’s joining in now. “How didn’t we know?” 

“It didn’t start out like this honestly, we would’ve told you.” I try and explain, eager for this to quiet down so we could get to the roast dinner waiting for us in the oven. 

“How did it start?” Nick pokes, drawing Julia and Ellie’s attention as the same puzzled expressions adorn their faces. 

“Unimportant,” Harry brushes off, standing up to tower over us all and reaching a hand back for my own. “We better get dinner, we wouldn't want burnt potatoes.” 

Harry pulls on my arm gently, leading me out the room before anyone can object. 

In the kitchen, he picks up a tea towel and starts to check on the food, prodding at the parsnips. I roll my eyes as he ties his lavender apron around his waist and tentatively pulls the potato tray from the oven. 

“Harry..” I sigh, trying not to laugh as he turn to face me, spatula in hand. 

“Yes dear?”  

“What was that?” 

“Oh - You’ve gotta shimmy a little spatula under the potatoes or they’ll break apart-” 

“No, obviously not that,” He makes it so hard so stay stern, a giggle leaks out as he lifts a hand to rest on his hip. “Why did you do that?” 

“I want them to know.” drops his utensils, tone sincere as he takes another step towards me. “I want our friends to know how much I love you already, and you remember about my mustard cords so..it felt like the perfect time.” 

“What?” I stutter, looking up at him from where he’s pulled me into his chest. His hands rest on my waist, rings a little hold against my exposed skin. 

“You remembered the trousers I lost last month in LA -”

“You love me?” 

His eyes go a little wide, a smile peaking through as the sides of his mouth quirk upwards. Realising what he just said, he lifts a hand from my waist to rest it against my face and lean down a little. 

“Of course I love you.” He whispers, his voice a little croaky and I can see tiny droplets gathering in his eyes that make my heart flutter. 

“Love you too..” I mumble. I wipe a thumb over his cheek before pulling him down into a kiss. I feel his smile against my own, and everything’s perfect for just a second. 

“So you’ll come to Christmas with me?” 

. . . . .

Hiii I hate the ending :)

Tysm for reading !! pls leave a like or reblog (it rlly helps <3) if you enjoyed it x

[honestlyhappyharry]

Chapter 12

Settling in

Chapter 11

Watching everything in your house get moved was an odd feeling. It had been the only constant in your life since Lily was born, it was so much more than a house to you.

But with all the stuff slowly dripping out, packed up in boxes, being put on a truck and taken across the city, you couldn't help but think about when you first moved in.

Back then the house seemed like such a weird place to be living; you knew hardly any of your neighbours, you still had to google maps the address on your way home and when you looked out the window you saw the beach.

Now you knew almost everyone on your street, you could find any house from anywhere and the view out the window was just the same.

"Are you ready to go?" Harry asked as he walked up behind you in the kitchen, making you jump in fear.

You nodded. "Yeah, can I just walk around and say goodbye first?" You asked, moving to the lounge.

"Sure, baby. I'll go get Lils." He said before walking out to find Lily, who had gone three houses down to say goodbye to her friend. Although she would be seeing her at pre-k when Harry drove her over for the next week and a half and you slept in.

Tears welled in your eyes as you walked around. The only time you use to ever think you'd be moving out is when you were going to a retirement home or moving back to your hometown.

You stood in Lily's room for the longest amount of times. All the memories of her growing up hit you at once. Like a movie flashing before your eyes. All of those nights you'd spent desperately trying to get her to sleep and all of the days she slowly grew into the most beautiful, caring and amazing child you'd ever met.

"Come here," Harry said as he walked in saw the amble evidence of tears rolling down your cheeks. He wrapped his arms around you and it's a correlation to how secure the house made you feel.

"I'm sorry... I just... there's just.... this house just means so much to me." You told him honestly, it took a while to find the right words and you really didn't want to be crying on such a happy day.

He shushed you. "It's okay, love." He breathed out as he held you before he pulled you away from his chest and wiping the tears from your eyes. "Now let's go and start a new chapter of our lives." He told you and you nodded before walking out the front door with him.

As soon as you got to the new house everything felt right. You did think there would be some small doubts but there were absolutely none. It already felt like home.

The house itself was big. With a bottom floor containing 3 bedrooms, 2 lounges, a kitchen, a study, 4 bathrooms as well as a big outdoor space with a pool.

The pool was one of the best features. It had 3 separate slides, each of which connected to 3 of the bedrooms on the second floor. On the ground level, there was a separate pool bathroom but the pool itself had a built-in grill and bar area where you could swim up to get drinks. That was along with the huge movie screen.

There were 4 bedrooms on the 2nd floor each with its own ensuite as well as a lounge. The 3rd floor was significantly smaller, with only a movie room and library which had a secret staircase to a mezzanine floor with a glass ceiling. It gave you the best view of the stars and city.

"Can I look at my room?!" Lily asked quickly and Harry nodded before walking up the stairs after the jogging little girl. You followed the pair. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed before you walked in to see a whole new bedroom. It had a massive princess carriage with a bed inside as well as a castle that had stairs going up. At the top of the castle, there was a small bookshelf and a slide that went down to the desk at the bottom.

Lily ran around the room like someone had given her 3 cups of coffee. And some cocaine. You noticed the majority of her clothes in the wardrobe, her teddy bears and barbie dolls already there.

"Hope you don't mind," Harry said as he came up behind you.

"Tell me next time, Haz. She loves it but I wish I knew." You told him and he nodded before pulling you into his side. "What's going to happen when she grows out of this?"

"There's another room on this floor with a walk-in wardrobe." He told you and your eyes widened a little surprised by his thoughtful nature. "Ready to see our room?" He asked as he pulled you out to Lily's room.

"Lils, we're going to see our room. Don't go on the slide." You told her and she nodded before running up to the two of you and hugging your legs before rushing out a quick 'thank you' and going back to playing with her toys.

Harry just smiled. "Don't worry about the slide, they are all safely locked with a PIN number." You were swooning about how thoughtful he was for someone who had only had a kid for 7 months but it was a good look on him

"I love you, Har." You said as you continued to follow him to your room.

"I love you even more. Now close your eyes." He instructed and you complied, putting your hands over them before he opened the door and led you inside. "Open." He told you.

As soon as you remove your hands from your face you saw how sophisticated it looked. There was a massive be and ottoman with a couch and table in the corner. "Look at this," Harry said as he pushed a button and a tv came up from the foot of the bed.

You'd barely glanced down that end but now you saw the massive window with a view of the whole city and a door that had a few steps down onto a balcony that was big enough to have a table and chairs.

"I'm in shock. It's beautiful." You told him and he smiled, looking pleased with himself.

"You're beautiful. Now wanna see the closet?" He asked and you nodded, wondering what else he had in store for you. The closet was like a whole house. First, there was a seemingly normal shoe, bag and accessory closet with a massive mirror and all your makeup neatly organised. Then some stairs led up to a whole top floor filled with your and Harry's clothes.

"Harry, this must-have taken forever..." You trained off.

"That's why I didn't get home until late. It was mainly the boys that did the final touches." You thought Harry not being to be home until 8 was a normal thing, it did worry you.

But now it was making sense, him insisting on going to lunch before you got here was just time to get it ready.

"I love you so much." You told him as you brought your lips together. "Not even for the materialistic aspect of everything you've done. Just that you care enough about us to do this."

"I just want you two to be happy. Now come and look at the bathroom, you sap." He joked as he walked through a door which led into a big room with a bath, fireplace, shower, two vanities and a toilet. There was also a door to the bedroom.

"Harry!" You screamed. "It's all so amazing." You told him before you leant into his side. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer.

"I'm glad you think so." He said before he kissed you again.

"Mummy! Hazzy! Can we go on the waterslide?" Lily's voice came as she ran through the room, making you pull away from your kiss.

Lately 'Hazzy' was her nickname for Harry and while he was delighted she was calling him that, he was gunning for the title of dad.

"Yeah!" Harry agreed and you smiled at the two of them. "Go get changed and I'll come with you for the first slide, then we can play in the pool." Lily ran off with the biggest smile on her face and you turned to Harry with an equally big smile on yours.

"We better go get changed then." You winked at him before going to the closet.

"Can you pretty please wear the green one, please?" He begged as you searched through your swimsuits and briefly picked up a dark green one.

It made you inwardly roll your eyes at him. "I am not wearing this." You continued as you held it out. "It's way too complicated and a little slutty." He just looked annoyed as you showed him another option. "This one?" You held up one of your favourite yellow bikinis.

"I like it, but can you wear the other one when we go to the hot tub tonight?" He asked, almost like he was telling you.

You laughed at him. "Who says I'm going in the hot tub with you tonight?" You finished changing and walked across to see Harry who wasn't ready because of how distracted he was checking you out.

He picked up his iconic yellow shorts, which ironically matched your bikini, and began undressing. "Oh, I'm definitely getting you in the hot tub tonight." He said as if it were a challenge. His low voice made him so much more attractive.

After he finished changing you stood there kissing for a few minutes.

Lily raced in a few seconds later. "Let's go! Let's go!"

"Alright," Harry said as he got dragged to her room.

"Hold on, I'm going down to the pool, then I'll film when you come down." You said as you grabbed your phone and raced downstairs, quickly trying to find the perfect angle to watch them pop out of the waterslide.

"Ahhh!" You heard Lily's voice a second before she and Harry came splashing out into the pool. "That was so much fun, can we go again?" She asked, looking up at Harry who held her because of how deep the water was.

And that was how the rest of the day went, Lily going down the waterslide before running up the stairs to go again.

Finally, you got out of the pool and left Harry to supervise Lily while you made dinner. That night as you, Lily and Harry ate dinner, while looking out over the LA skyline, everything was perfect.

And, later in the night, the hot tub with Harry was just as perfect.

[fawad-khan]

Together Always

A/N: hey guys, this is a part of @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh 's 1k writing challenge, congratulations again, queen K! I hope you enjoy. I’m so sorry for the delay hvfuuvcurv, i hope you enjoy! This is my longest yet, if this flops, i will be angy :)

Masterlist

Pairing- Harry Holland x reader

Warning- some angst maybe? mentions of hospital, nothing too gory, maybe swearing here and there

Word Count- 3.5k+ (woohoo!)

Prompt- “Marriage? Pass”

Prompt will be in bold

Summary- you finally realize why people choose to go ahead and take a long term committment with each other.

(At age 10)

You were sitting on a park bench alone, crying by yourself. No one was around, for you were sitting in a quiet and empty part of the park. Your head was bent to your knees, which you had brought closer to your chest. You were so engrossed in your own sorrow that you did not notice two identical faces catching your sight and walking towards you, wondering what was wrong.

"Hey, what happened? Are you alright?" You heard a voice in front of you and looked up, seeing two twin boys standing in front of you. One of them had curly hair, while the other had straighter hair.

"Well no, I'm not in a really good mood right now." You replied meekly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The curly haired boy asked. You let out a sniffle and wiped your wet eyes. They sat down beside you, the curly haired boy sitting on your left and patting your hand for comfort, and the straight haired boy sitting by your right.

"Well, uh it's just that my mommy an-and my daddy they do-don't want to live with each o-other anymore and are getting a d-divorce."

"Oh, uh that's really sad to hear. Do you know exactly why this happened though? Like do they fight or anything?"

"Harry, don't ask her all that! She will tell us if she wants to."

"It's ok, uh they kind of fight a lot everyday and I overhear them saying they cannot live like this and all, I guess." You said, smiling sadly. "Now I have to decide who I want to live with. It's gonna be a bit hard for me." You sniffled again, making the boy named Harry (you guessed when the other boy called him) rub your arm in comfort.

"Well if you ever have any difficulties, we don't live very far from here. You can always come and maybe live with us, if our mum agrees with it."

"No no, I don't wanna burden you like that, but uh sounds nice!"

"Oh and I'm Harry, he's my twin Sam." He said, pointing to the straight haired boy.

"I'm (y/n)." You said, shaking their hands. Little did your 10 year old self know at the time that their friendship would make a tremendous difference in your life.

----

(6 years have passed)

It has been 6 years. You decided to finally move in with your dad, partly because he was kind of a better parent to you and partly because his house was near the Hollands, which made it easier for you to see the twins more often.

Ever since that day, you had become great friends with Harry and Sam. Of course, through them, you also met Tom and Paddy and their parents, and they were the sweetest people you ever met. They helped you go through your parents divorce, as it is always very difficult for a small child to go through such things alone. They were like a second family to you. Tom kind of became like a protective older, while Paddy was like a little brother.

Harry and Sam were your best friends, of course. They never failed to always keep you happy and amused, especially when they did a lot of silly things on purpose.

Harry never failed to pull you out of your blues. No matter what it was, he always managed to get a smile out of you every single day. He made you feel warm and fuzzy every time it was just the two of you together. You often accompanied him whenever he would do some casual photoshoots, as you were a great help to him, giving valuable tips, helping him choose a perfect scene, etc.

Of course, as you grew older, puberty was obviously very much favourable to all of you. Harry was no longer the cute little boy with a baby voice, you were no longer the small girl with a doll face. Harry grew more tall, his muscular features become more and more prominent. His voice had become deeper, which you found pleasant to hear all day long. Not to mention, he was more attractive as well, so naturally he often attracted the attention of girls in school which often made you jealous.

Sam of course grew up to be a very charming and handsome lad as well, quite like his twin. His cooking skills had improved a lot too. But, the bond between the two of you was more platonic. You felt a deeper connection with Harry, something more than friendship. You were still wary of a long term committed relationship, given that you had gone through your parents divorce, but that did not stop you from daydreaming about what it would be like if you and Harry were together.

----

(Age 17)

It was your senior prom and your date had turned out to be a bitch, deciding to never show up at your house to pick you up. He had messaged you about having caught the flu, and right when you were about to just give up and stay in at home instead, Sam insisted that you come to prom anyway. What you did not know was Harry had not managed to get a date, so he just decided to show up solo. He had been hoping to ask you, but seeing that you got a date already, he decided to just go by himself.

So when he saw you alone and dateless, looking absolutely impeccable and breathtaking in your body hugging purple dress that ended above your knees and hair opened save for a small braid in the side, he decided to take this chance and go for it.

You had seen him too, looking so handsome in his tuxedo. How you were mentally wishing that you both would be together instead. The way his curls flopped despite his best efforts to keep them tidy only made him seem hotter in your eyes.

"What happened? Todd ain't here?" He asked, referring to your date.

"Na, he's had a bout of flu, at least that's what he says."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I dunno, I guess I just kinda had this coming you know, maybe I'm not meant to have a nice date to a dance and have fun. Ah, just my luck."

"Come on, any guy would be lucky to be with you."

"Yeah right." At that moment, his eyes fell on a couple who had entered the ballroom, and when he realised who it was, his blood boiled and his fingers were clenched as he tried to control the urge to just go and punch him.

You could feel him tense up beside you, and looking at his face, you could sense something wasn't right. His face held an agitated expression.

"What's the matter, Harry?" You asked, concerned.

"I hate to tell you this, but uh looks like Todd is in perfect health." He mumbled.

"Wait whatever do you mean?"

"See for yourself." He pointed you in the direction where he was looking, and to your immense surprise, there was Todd all suited up, getting quite cozy with some random chick who was in a dress slightly shorter than the prescribed dress code. You could feel your blood boiling. The audacity of the motherfucker to lie like this and then just show up like that, you couldn't control the rage building in you.

Before Harry could stop you, you stormed your way towards the couple, who were now making out in a corner and ripped them apart. The chick had barely uttered a word when you gave him one tight slap.

"Fucking bastard, so this is your flu? How did I even agree to you, you son of a bitch?!" You shouted out so loud that now the whole hall of students was staring at this scene. Harry finally came behind you and held your shoulders in an attempt to calm you down.

"Hey hey hey, just leave that fucker alone, okay" he whispered in your ear and dragged you away from them towards the drinks table. He handed you a cold drink and you gulped half the drink in one sip, which helped you to calm down.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, holding your hand for comforting you.

"Yeah, I'm fine just, I should've expected this would happen, I guess. I don't think boyfriend and all is meant for me." You said, feeling a small lump in your throat as you felt tears in your eyes.

"Hey hey hey, now don't say all that." He lifted your chin up and looked into your eyes. "Don't cry over that wanker. You wanna dance with me?" He held out his hand, waiting for your answer. You wiped your tears and smiled at him, taking his hand, which he took as yes.

He took you to the dance floor and held you by the waist, pulling you closer towards him. Some slow music was playing. You held his shoulders and rested your head on his chest, swaying slowly to the music. The space between the two of you was not that prominent now, and you could hear your heart beat very loud and felt that Harry could probably hear it too.

He was feeling sorry. Sorry that you were made upset by a total jerk, but at the same time glad because that was the reason he was here, holding you close, dancing with the prettiest girl he knew, the girl he had liked over the years. He could smell sweet shampoo from your hair, mixed with some perfume you had applied, lulling him into a trance of you.

The beat of the music changed as the DJ changed into another song with faster rhythm, making you pull away from each other as you matched to the rhythm. He accompanied too, although he wasn’t too great of a dancer, but he still looked cute trying to match your moves, making you giggle at him. You danced to a few more songs, before you felt a little hungry and thirsty, signalling Harry who was feeling the same. You went to the snack counter and got some snacks for both of you, while he got the drinks. You quickly chugged the drink and snacks at once, making him laugh, you following suit.

“Thanks for this Harry, I’m really enjoying prom.”

“You’re welcome, love.” you froze a little at that nickname. Love, huh. You’d love to get used to that nickname. You just smiled in response.

The rest of the prom just went in a blur. All that you really remembered and cared about was when you sneaked out of the party and took a walk in the park. You both were just walking side by side, hands brushing every now and then. Harry suddenly stopped and let out a deep breath.

“Hey, (y/n)?”

“Yeah Harry?”

He cupped your cheeks and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on your lips, catching you off guard. Slowly you melted into the kiss, moving your lips against his soft ones. He pulled away from you, eyes closed and pressed his forehead against yours, hands still cupping your cheeks.

"Would this be a good time to say that I like you? Like maybe we could be something more?" His eyes slowly opened, looking into your (y/e/c) eyes, both of you knew the answer.

"Yes Harry, I'd love that." You said smiling, making him grin from ear to ear. He leaned in again to kiss you harder, one hand still on your cheek while the other pulled you closer by the waist to practically press into his chest. Your hands went around his neck as you kissed him harder as well, with more passion, as if letting out all of the tension into it. Needless to say, this was your happiest memory of your lives.

----

(Age 23)

You never thought that you'd be in a relationship this long, but here you were, six years later. Harry was now a professional photographer and often had lots of photoshoots lined up for him. You had decided to take up journalism, as you were fond of writing a lot and often wrote plenty of articles in your school days.

You both now lived together in an apartment of your own, not very far from the Hollands'. You were both busy in your professional lives, but always found time for each other as well. You’d maybe go out on dates to a restaurant or to the movies, or have a night in having a movie night or just do something goofy or have some fun ;)

He has always made you feel complete. Neither of you really felt the pressure to go to the next step, which was marriage, or well so you thought. Harry would lie if he said that it didn’t occur to him. However, he knew that you weren’t ready just yet. He did not mind much, so as long as he could be with you all his life.

You were sitting and having tea with one of your colleagues Sally, who was also a good friend of yours. You were just sitting and discussing stuff about some work and boyfriends, bitching away about some stupid colleagues in your office.

“Oh also, I have something to say.” she said in a very excited voice.

“Oooh what is it?” you asked, curious as to what she was going to say. She simply squeeled a little and  thrust her left hand in front of your eyes and you saw a beautiful silver princess cut diamond cut ring on her ring finger. You covered your mouth, a big smile on your face. You gave her a big hug. You were so happy for her.

“Oh my god, Ricky proposed? I cannot believe this! When did this happen?”

“It happened this morning! He did it when I woke up! Isn’t he so amazing?”

“Of course Sal, I’m so happy for you!”

You could not, however, feel a panging in your heart. It felt a little like a longing pain, as if you would love for something like this to happen. You had no intentions to settle for a long term commitment like a marriage, but maybe, just maybe, there was a teeny tiny part in you that perhaps wanted that with Harry.

“So what about you and Harry? Are you guys planning to marry any time soon?” she asked cheekily. You gave a clamped smile.

“Marriage? Pass.” you said, trying to sound nonchalant, even though your voice quivered a bit.

“Are you sure though hun? I mean, you and Harry have been going strong for years now. Don’t you even think about it sometimes?” 

You gulped. She was kind of right.

“I don’t know, maybe? Ok, yes maybe I’ve thought of this a few times.” you paused to take a sip of your coffee and continued, “well actually speaking, I have some issues to be in a long term commitment. So far, I am kinda surprised that I’ve been in a relationship this long, although Harry is really amazing. It’s just that, I don’t want that if we marry then something happens, creating a wedge between us, and then we have to split up. Like, in the case of my parents as well, who couldn’t wait to leave each other. I guess, I’m just scared of that happening, that’s all.”

“Oh I see. Hey, its normal to feel scared of what may happen in the future. I would be lying too if I said that I’m scared too. But sometimes, we just have to go for it, you know? Life is a roller coaster, yes, but if you find the right person to spend it with, then you’ll be ready to face them.” she held your hand to give you assurance. You let out a breath and nodded in agreement.

“Thank you so much, Sal. Also congratulations again! I’m so happy for you!” you hugged her again and headed towards your bike to go back to your apartment, Sally’s words never leaving your mind.

----

(many weeks later)

You were sitting in your office cubicle, editing an article on your computer. Suddenly you saw Sam’s name flashing on your phone as it buzzed since you had put it on silent. Sensing that something was up, since he never called you while you were at work unless it was an emergency, you picked up the phone, a “hello?” leaving your mouth. If you were not mistaken, you could hear him crying.

“Sam? What happened? Is everything okay?” you asked, getting worried.

“Oh (y/n), come to the hospital quickly. Harry’s been admit-ted.” he stuttered, followed by more cries. Your hand flew to your mouth, you went into a shock. Harry? In the hospital? Was he ok? With so many questions buzzing in your mind, you managed to mutter a quick yes and got up from your desk, gathering your bag and telling your boss briefly that you needed to go to the hospital urgently, to which he agreed. You quickly climbed on your bike and drove to the hospital, which was thankfully not very far off.

You went to the receptionist, where Sam was standing, waiting for you. Seeing you walk towards him, he just gave you a hug, tears dropping from his eyes. You hugged back, trying your best to soothe your best friend by patting on his back.

“It’s ok Sam. Where is he?” your voice was suddenly high as you choked back your tears. He just led you to a hospital room, where Tom was sitting beside the hospital bed, face tear stained. He gave you a small and faint smile when he saw you. Your eyes finally fell on Harry, who was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. The heart monitor was bleeping, he had an oxygen mask on his face. Many wires were attached to his left hand, for medicine and blood supplies. He had some bandages on his left arm and his left leg as well.

“Wh-what exactly h-happened?” you stuttered, tears spilling from your eyes. 

“He got into a crash, and got injured. The doctor said that he hasn’t suffered too many injuries, but he is yet to gain consciousness.” Tom said, voice still shaking. “We’re all just waiting for him to wake up.”

You took a seat beside the bed and held his right hand, which did not have any needles. You muttered a silent prayer for him to get well soon. You stroked his hair as he kept on sleeping peacefully.

----

Harry finally regained consciousness two days later. You all were so happy and relieved. The doctor also gave good news that he was better and would be good to go in two more days, as he had to do some minor check ups. You were relieved that he was going to be alright. You had been so afraid to lose him, as you couldn’t imagine your life without him. He had been your support all your life. 

Oh. Oh. A realization hit you. He was your whole life. You did not want to spend your life without him. This episode of almost losing him had made you realize it. You quickly made your way towards Harry’s room, where he was just lying awake. Sam was telling him something, and he had an amused look on his face.

“Hey, babe. How are you feeling?”

“Better. How’re you?”

“I’m great. Hey, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah sure, (y/n/n) what is it?”

You took a deep breath. “So uhh, I’ve actually been thinking ever since we almost lost you. I don’t know, but it got me thinking. You know how I’ve always been wary of the idea of marriage, as I have always feared that what happened to my parents, would happen to us, which is not what I want. But umm, I’ve realized that I never wanna lose you, ever. I cannot imagine a life without you with me. Also, what Sally said to me the other day, made me realize that you are indeed the right person for me.”

“Oh my- wow (y/n) so, are you saying that um, that umm you’d consider taking the next step?” he asked, hoping you’d say yes.

“Yes Harry.” you tucked a hair strand behind your hair, took his hand in yours and continued, “so Harry, I know this is probably not the place to say this, we’re in a friggin hospital” he chuckled as you smiled and continued, “but maybe, when time comes, and I’m hoping it comes soon enough, do you wanna consider maybe going further? Like, be together forever?”

“You have no idea how much I’ve waited for this.”

“Is that a yes?”

He just pulled you towards him in response and caressed your cheek, attaching his lips to yours. You kissed him back gladly, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away and stroked his finger on your hand, whispering a “yes”, a goofy grin on his face.

The End

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[geshertzarmeod]

Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles​ made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro.  I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden.  This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan​ . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine.  When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray​ . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

[matth1w]

Lupus Uxor Chapter One: Reunion(s)

(Gif credit)

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Collection Summary: A look into the life as the wife to Remus John Lupin.

Chapter Summary: Long awaited reunion(s)

Collection Warnings: angst, death, typical HP violence (will be updated)

Chapter Warnings: None

Rating: Everyone

Word Count: 557 words

Note: Because he deserves more

Forever Friends: @captainrogerss​ / @commander-writergirl​ / @fics-not-tragedies​

D O  N O T  R E P O S T  M Y  W O R K

You slid your hands slowly up the front of Remus’s soft jumper, savoring the feel of his lips against yours and his warmth underneath your touch. It had much been too long for you both. 

A light hum came from within his chest and a smile threatened to break your connection—

“Oh, s-sorry professor.”

The poor boy seemed to be frozen in place as you stilled, moving only to pop your lips together to stifle a giggle, feeling just as much a caught schoolgirl as you had when professors would catch you two as students. Feeling a gentle pat on your arm, you stepped away from Remus and turned around as you heard your lover’s low voice.

“You alright, Harry?”

You somehow stayed on two feet as you heard that name and met the young boy’s eyes.

“Y-yeah.” He stuttered out. 

“I... Er.” He paused and tilted his head, something seeming to have come over him.

“Who are you?” His tone was clipped.

You should’ve expected it but it hurt nonetheless, especially with the surprising malice. 

Remus noticed your lack of response so he spoke up, placing a reassuring hand on the small of your back. 

“Why, this is my wife.”

You shook yourself out of it and smiled at Harry politely as you stepped around the desk to introduce yourself.

“Hello, Harry. My name is Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you.” Harry said right back politely. Almost automatically. Like he didn’t care who you were and wouldn’t give you a second thought.

It hurt your heart tremendously and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking in every bit of him, his messy hair, his slightly baggy clothes...

Harry had turned to Remus but then looked back at you as he felt your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, undoubtedly not sorry “You’re looking at me as though you know me.”

You just smiled sadly as you moved your eyes back to meet his, another pang of heavy emotions hitting you.

“I knew your mother and father quite well. Lily was my best friend.”

You felt Remus squeeze your arm to comfort you in the quiet manner he always did. 

Harry nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer. It was enough for you as well and you patted your husband’s hand softly.

“Well, I’ll let you boys get to it.”

You smiled at Remus before turning to Harry, summoning all the lightheartedness you could manage.

“Don’t let him feed you too much chocolate, now.” You winked with a —very convincing— cheeky smile. 

Remus shook his head with a chuckle as you walked out the door and smiled one last time at him, a knowing look shared between you two. His eyes lighting you up, instantly washing away your circling thoughts and signifying he very much intended to continue your rendezvous later on.

Remus cleared his throat and looked at Harry who seemed to be smiling genuinely for once. His air of annoyance gone.

“You know...” Remus began as he ran his hand through his hair, trying to calm down and focus.

“The whole chocolate thing, I got it from her. She used to bring me sweets when...” he caught himself. 

“Well, when I needed some comforting.”

Harry nodded, caring little about the topic at hand and wanting to get on with what he desperately needed to speak to the professor about.