#*confused pansexual screaming*

[scrumpledunkus]

What even am I?

I've never associated with or enjoyed the idea of being a man, even wayyyy before I was old enough to understand anything of what gender is about. I kind of hate that I'm discovering so much about myself so late, like my pansexuality and who I am and even now like I dont really know what that means about me? I've never liked 'male'-ness or being a 'man' and never related with the idea of being manly, but I've never felt strongly about femininity either I wish I could look and be just like genderless I guess but I dont even begin to know what that means, as a kid even I always was drawn to characters that were not dimorphic (reptile humanoids, creatures, aliens, monsters) and just anything that had no strong gender and literally only just getting diagnosed with ADHD its like i've spent so long having ZERO idea about myself at all

I feel like a total blender of everything and nothing at once but also something different entirely

[massiveharmonytiger]

So I was rewatching Saltburn and I had an epiphany!

Farleigh is in love with Oliver.

Like, embarrassingly, stupidly, head over heels.

I mean, I knew he had a thing for Ollie, with the jealously telling Felix about him and Venetia, the Richard III would put in the work line followed by him being completely disarmed when Oliver suggests that he fucks him, and then the actual Oliver seducing him scene, but I only just realized the extent of it and how far back it goes.

First of all, Farleigh notices Oliver before Oliver sees Felix for the first time.

Yes, I got the script because I'm complete Saltburn trash at this point. So when Farleigh is introduced, the script describes him as beautiful and pansexual, walking among a group of alpha hotties. So in the film, he's with two hotties, a guy and a girl. He has his pick. There's no reason for him to point out Oliver or what he's wearing to them, unless he's trying to impress them, but why would Farleigh Start need to impress them? He's already the centre of that group. Sure the script also describes him as an imp with a cruel streak, but after rewatching I feel like that's a blatant misdirection. I mean, he got expelled for sucking off teachers. Nerdy prep is exactly his type.

He says, "Hey cool jacket," to Oliver. If you interpret that line as being delivered by the beautiful and pansexual Farleigh Start, not the impish and cruel Farleigh Start, it's pretty much a come on. I'm mixed race like Farleigh and it kind of reminds me of those back-handed compliments white people give you when they think you're hot or cute 'for a brown person.' It's kind of hilarious to see it subverted like this, but obviously Oliver is less amused. Why would he interpret it as anything other than more bullying? Which it kind of is, so fair enough. But it's the kind of bullying people do when they get a crush they don't know how to handle. A little boy pulling on a girls pigtails. And it's obviously worked for Farleigh before. Why would he need to try any harder than that?

After Farleigh's comment, Oliver sees Felix for the first time. Farleigh is also there, but Oliver's already smitten and doesn't really notice him beyond, "Oh, it's that jerk from earlier and he's next to Felix, where I should be." Then you get a few other bits that wreck me. Oliver ducking from the window when Felix looks up, Oliver trying to sit at Felix (and Farleigh)'s table at the mess hall, but being unable to, Michael causing the disruption, but it doesn't even interrupt Felix and Farleigh's conversation. (Which ties in nicely to my theory of how the original Oliver wouldn't have gotten Felix's attention even if he screamed, he had to mold himself into what Felix wanted just to get noticed, but one theory at a time).

Next up, we have the tutor session that Farleigh is late for. Before Farleigh gets there, Oliver is humiliated and belittled for completing the reading list, which dooms Farleigh even more when he shows up and the tutor starts fawning over him. Oliver doesn't know Farleigh and Felix are cousins yet. He's just the guy that was snide to Oliver when he first got there. The guy at Felix's side that Oliver keeps measuring himself against. So yeah, Oliver is pissed off before Farleigh gets there and that cute little knee touch isn't going to change anything.

Yes, Farleigh, I also count the amount of times my crush uses a word in their essay despite still being hungover from last night's party, just so that I have something to talk to him about… Oh wait, no, that's just you.

The way he looks up at Oliver with those big brown doe eyes when he says, "I counted". The way he keeps looking up to gauge his reaction to all his comments. The way he's looking at him, period.

And Oliver doesn't fall for his cuteness and charm because he's just convinced that the intent behind his words is malicious. Poor Farleigh. He must have been so confused. People usually fold but here's this guy, meeting him blow for blow. He's never had to "put in the work" like this. What the hell.

The tutor sessions with Oliver and Farleigh (where Farleigh is framed lower than Oliver) actually serve as a nice parallel to a lot of the scenes where Oliver and Felix are together (and Oliver is framed lower than Felix). We don't really see that when Farleigh and Felix are together. They're usually at a similar height in those scenes.

Then we have the scene in the bar where Felix calls Oliver over and Farleigh has that panicked, "Oh shit, my crush is here," look on his face before it settles into resignation as he realizes Oliver is, "another one of Felix's toys". Finally the mystery is solved. This is why Oliver didn't fall for his charms at the tutor sessions.

So, Oliver prefers Felix to him, huh. That's just fine. He'll deal with the rejection by giving Oliver a hard time about buying the next round. That should push him away from Felix…oh shit, it brings them closer together. And now he looks like the douchebag.

Then there's this bit where Farleigh is looking at Oliver and Felix (mostly Oliver, the prior shot establishes which side of the room he's on, which happens to be where Farleigh's looking) and his party hat horns mirror the minotaur/how Oliver looked when he confessed his love to Felix later on. Oliver, you need to see how much Farleigh fucking loves you. Look at him, Ollie. Just look at him. (He can't, he's too busy looking at Felix)

Anything to get Oliver to notice him. Anything.

Cut to Oliver's arrival at Saltburn, where Oliver joins the rest of them in the library and Farleigh loudly cuts off Elspeth gossiping about Oliver and his parents because hearing, "We were just talking about you" would be better than hearing whatever was going to come out of Elspeth's mouth next. And I mean, he's already the asshole. This is actually so sweet.

And we all remember this scene. This clearly made his day.

But then we get the encounter with Venetia and Felix and Farleigh both being equally pissed at the breakfast table. And yeah, everything goes downhill from there. It's the reason Oliver seduces him and gets him thrown out for what's literally just another desperate attempt to drive a wedge between Oliver and Felix.

No, Oliver, he's not going to behave. God, yes. Don't stop.

Farleigh was down so bad he literally got honeytrapped and framed. Twice.

Between Felix, Oliver and Farleigh, there are really no winners. They really all got wrecked by love, huh.

[brittle-doughie]

Nahh because when I saw that caressing scene I was like god dammit idfk which one I wanna be, I am screaming in ✨️pansexual confusion✨️ rn 😭

Dark Cacao, can we swap for a second, pls?

Be in Dark Cacao’s place. Mystic Flour’s hand gently caressed your cheek, all while she tells you of how the land will become nothing but a void of white.

This doesn’t mean it has to happen to you….

All you have to do is submit to her. She knows what’s best for you, she’s seen the futility of any other choice you’ll come up with.

There is no other way but hers…

Or be in Mystic Flour’s place. You reached down to caress your dear King’s cheek, whittling him down with the knowledge that his world will soon become nothing but white. All the while he begs and pleads you to end this nightmare.

You had the power even stronger then that of Dark Cacao Cookie to have him on his knees, his hands going to touch your one on his cheek.

He only hopes that his pleas will reach you, because he doesn’t know what to do…..

[helslastangel]

Compatibility Observations: Capricorn Moon

𓆩♡𓆪

@helslastangel

Note: I posted these as separate notes before, but after internally screaming since July, I've compiled them into this proper singular post now.

Disclaimer: This is based on my own experiences as a pansexual Capricorn moon woman and won't resonate for everyone. If it doesn't apply, let it fly 🪽

Willow Smith has Moon in Capricorn ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

with cardinal signs

°☆ Cancer moon x Capricorn moon

Closest BFFs or friends to lovers. This pairing provides security and protection to one while injecting warmth and comfort into the other. Onlookers often become jealous of the ride-or-die dynamic between this pair and will try to drive a wedge between them. They may grow apart and become distant over time if either one becomes emotionally unhealthy and selfish towards to other. Otherwise, the only thing that will separate these two is betrayal, which Cancer Moon especially cannot tolerate or forgive.

°☆ Libra moon x Capricorn moon

This pairing often begins and ends with a big question mark on both sides. These are the on-and-off friends who are always drawn to each other, only to remember once again why they drifted apart the last time. Initially, one is comforted by the proactive and stable energy of the other, who enjoys their pleasant and balanced approach to life and conversation. But over time, they can come to take each other's qualities for granted and become annoyed by their differences instead, most notably their values. One finds security and fulfillment in their relationships, while the other finds it in work and accomplishment. This isn't so bad in friendship as they can simply allow the friendship to ebb and flow naturally. However, in a relationship, these two easily become a couple where one is always angry at the other, either for working too much or going out/socializing too often.

°☆ Aries moon x Capricorn moon

Unlikely friends or enemies to lovers. This pairing can provide stability and structure to one while injecting excitement and variety into the life of the other. Their dynamic can seem confusing to people who don't know them, as they may roast or banter with each other quite aggressively. While this pairing can and often does last a very long time, it's not uncommon for the connection to end as abruptly as it started.

°☆ Capricorn moon x Capricorn moon

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this pairing can go either way. On the bright side, they will understand each other completely, even if they don't agree on day-to-day matters or have the same interests. Theirs is the finish-each-others-sentences kind of friendship or relationship. On the downside, it's easy for either one to become too comfortable and stop listening to or truly seeing the other, making the assumption that they "already know what they're thinking." Even if they did, not having any points of challenge or disagreement can suck the passion out of things and lead to an overly predictable dynamic. For some people, this is ideal, so overall, a friendship or relationship between these two will have "twinsies" energy and may be known for acting alike.

°☆ Scorpio moon x Capricorn moon

with fixed signs

This pairing can be deep and uplifting or baffling and irritable, depending on the composition of the rest of the natal charts. Both are similarly intense people who express that intensity in completely different ways. Both are protective, but one is prone to possessiveness and codependency, while the other is generally detached and prone to keeping others at arm's length. A friendship between these two may be consistent for a time before ending abruptly, or last forever, though marked by frequent periods of low/no contact between clashes.

°☆ Leo moon x Capricorn moon

This pairing has the same energy as the class president and the class valedictorian getting together, for better or worse. Usually for the better, though. One is warm and sociable, the other cool and collected. One knows how to work their way around a room, the other knows how to keep the room from falling apart. Now, these two have an interesting relationship in the sense that they want similar things in life, but in different ways and sometimes for different reasons. Whether they are friends or lovers, they can usually agree on the destination but might have completely different ideas of how to get there. Also, they can fall short of each other's expectations on an emotional level if neither is willing to consider the other's perspective. If one can lighten up and learn to be less pessimistic, and the other can learn to not always turn a blind eye to unpleasant realities, these two can complement each other quite nicely and are often really good hosts too.

°☆ Aquarius moon x Capricorn moon

Genuine friendship is not impossible with this pairing, but it is not so common. Both seek a certain level of warmth and compassion from their connections that they are unlikely to find in each other (unless there is counterbalancing synastry. Although they might stay in touch for intellectual stimulation or relief from the emotional demands of their other friends, they might not enjoy each other's company too often or for long periods of time.

°☆ Taurus moon x Capricorn moon

Can you say "IT" couple? This pairing is classic relationship goals. These are the two who everyone just knew belonged together from day one. One is a creature of habit; one of those habits being to make life pleasant and comfortable as possible, and not being afraid to work hard to get that. The other thrives on feeling secure and having their shit together, and respects hard work just as much as they enjoy it. Like any pairing, they can have their issues, such as becoming too comfortable far too quickly and losing all the passion that was present in the beginning of the connection, due to a lack of challenge to keep either one on their toes. This is more of a problem for couples, but even friendships of this pairing can suffer from a lack of excitement and growth. One thing about this pairing though: don't get in the way of them making their money.

°☆ Virgo moon x Capricorn moon

with mutable signs

Instant friends and/or love at first sight. This pairing often feels like they've known each other for their whole lives, or perhaps from a past life. Both value security and stability, and tend to show affection in subtle ways that might go overlooked and underappreciated by most other signs. They are often together for life, as best friends or as partners, unless some unfortunate circumstances or betrayal cause them to part ways.

°☆ Sagittarius moon x Capricorn moon

Opposites attract could explain how this connection starts in the first place, but these two often become frenemies or fwbs who don't like each other. One is highly optimistic and would rather take a chance and hope for a good outcome. The other is realistic at best and pessimistic at worst, unlikely to take any more risk than necessary, and tends to expect the worst. While they can transcend these differences by blending their styles into a third, more balanced approach to life, the truth is that one probably won't sit still long enough to even have that conversation and the other can be exceptionally stubborn.

°☆ Pisces moon x Capricorn moon

A true wildcard pairing. Usually for the best, as one is an aggressively soothing, healing presence and the other is a strong, yet gentle, safe place. These are the friends or lovers who never knew how much they really needed each other until they were in too deep to ever think of turning back. Pisces reminds Capricorn to step away from all the to-do lists and just smell the roses now and then; Capricorn reminds Pisces that while the roses will still be there tomorrow, the light bill is due today. If each one is willing to see the value in the other's point of view, this pairing can be one of the most beautiful for marriage or platonic soulmates.

°☆ Gemini moon x Capricorn moon

In theory, this should be a golden duo, at least for friendship. One is imaginative and full of ideas, the other is practical and likes to build. It's perfect on paper, but in practice, this pairing takes on a parent-child dynamic very quickly. One sees the other as an overgrown child, and who in turn thinks of them as a fossil in a young body. Though they genuinely enjoy each other's insights and can have great conversations, to remain friends or progress to lovers, they would need to accept that while they both like to play, one wants every day to be a never-ending game, and the other wants to play when work is done. They can work out, but it will take some effort for these two not to end up resenting each other and looking for understanding elsewhere.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

↤ go back to the masterlist

[brights-place]

hihi!! i didn’t see that asks were closed but if they are then please ignore:)

can you do an alastor x fem/gn mafia boss? (from 1920s)

tysm!! soz if it’s too specific:(

Alastor x Mafia boss! Reader

Pairings: Alastor X F!Reader (platonic!)

Warnings: Death, murder, Drugs, Weaponry

A/N: Alastor Is aroace so I'm making it platonic because well as an person under the aroace umbrella since I'm an pansexual person who is an mix of an cupioromantic and demi-sexual person so yeahhh! Anyways hope you enjoy the request! <33

- When you first arrived in hell you were confused looking around the area their were beings and strange creatures walking around - The area appeared to be a rundown city and industrial area with rampant criminal and gang activity as the sky was filled with red stars and an flipping coin that was suppose to be the moon...?

- You stood up looking down at yourself and back around seeing signs that had the word 'Mammon' on it or an sigil of an M which made you confused

- You staretd to walk around eyebrows furrowed at whoever or whatever tried to reach you as you easily took them down.

- Next thing you knew after a day you were ruling a spot in the greed ring… you don’t know how! You just DID - You were soon known as 'Lady Ploutos' the woman who held wealth and power which made you an target but it was very easy for you to take them down with an snap of your fingers - You soon became an 'overlord' whatever that mean't to you. You were soon invited to an 'Overlord' meeting which you complied to go to due to the fact you were bored and you currently weren't gun smuggling or committing some more crimes

- Due to having relations with Mammon and helping him gain more wealth that the greedy man wanted he'd allow you to leave and come back whenever you pleased

- As you left the greed ring after having permission from mammon you stared out the window of the car watching everything shift as you were now in the pride ring.

- Your driver dropped you off as you hopped out of the car and glanced behind you to the driver who whipped his gun up swiftly towards your direction as you didn't turn around to face him once more as an blood curdling scream was heard after some moments later you glanced back to the car - His body was limp against the steering wheel eyes rolled back and his jaw ripped off showing only the top layer of his teeth and face as one eye was popping out his head like an caterpillar or an worm peaking out from an apple his body pale and numb as the deads driver bottom half of the jaw was on the car floor with blood pooling out of what was left of the males mouth as an wound was noticed coming from the nape down to his abodoem.

- You couldn't care less as you continued to walk up to an elevator noticing an male with an strange posture standing there with small eggs? following him with an taller slender male beside him as the two turned towards you as you walked past them and entered the elevator

- After the meeting you were absolutely confused scratching your head "What the fuck was that?" You uttered as you glanced across the table to Zeezi who was laughing as you glanced to the angel head that was being poked by Alastor the radio demon who glanced towards you as you muttered an “The fuck?” In an confused tone

- When you both left the meeting you entered the same Elvator as alastor spoke “You are Lady Plotous right?” “Yeah People call me that but I’m actually called (Name) my title is something those imbeciles call me” You said waving your hand dissmisvly as Alastor smiled “Alastor. Charmed to meet the person who controls the greed ring! Didn’t think their was someone outside of the pride ring who controls that half” You raised an brow “Uh huh” you said shaking his hand

- You both created an bond about how you both enjoyed peoples sufferings and making deals

- Your company is good for him since you both waited for frank to come down after snopping and being an spy.

- The news of Angels being killed made you smirk and chuckled as Alastor smirked you two sharing an look

- You flipped open your phone and texted your right hand man to get ready to order some angelic weapons since you HAD the money. - As an Mafia leader well people thought you were the Mafia leader but you were actually the god father of the mafia's around the greed ring even crimson was an puppet of yours. - Godfather also known as (The Boss of all Bosses) or (The King) It is a phrase used mainly by the media, public and the law enforcement community to indicate a supremely powerful crime boss in the Sicilian or American Mafia who holds great influence over the whole empire. It has seldom been given to specific bosses because it could create tension between different factions (otherwise known as families) within the Mafia. Typically the title is awarded de facto to the boss of the most powerful Mafia family which was you. - You were ruthless and cruel yet sometimes gave pity which some said was an flaw but secretly you needed some people to think you were low ranking unaware that you were above them.

- Whoever asked you for money you would give you were technically an loan shark yet you still killed whoever disobeyed you and ere you were right now

- You were in the pride ring beating the shit out of someone who had owed you money with brass knuckles as Alastor was walking down the street to hear the grunts

- He smiled when seeing you with blood coating your fingers and some on your face as you smiled "Alastor! My favorite Overlord!" You called out chuckling walking over smirking as Alastor spoke "My! What have you been up to?" "beating the shit outta an asshole who owed me" You said shrugging

- Alastor would visit you and would smirk just to ask if he could make deals with your victims which you allowed sometimes since you enjoyed how Alastor worked

- When Alastor was gone for 7 years you were annoyed to lose an close friend- I MEAN Colleague!

- When he returned you invited him over to have some drinks and wanted him to tell you about where he had went yet he didn't tell you anything which you found annoying but understood.

- You enjoy listening to Alastor is stories and when he cooks some Jambalya he says you have good taste

- You both bond on liking Jazz and sipping Whisky together

- You figured out he was Aroace the second when an woman tried to hit on him. It was entertaining

- When your stressed and overworked with your useless Soldiers not doing their jobs properly Alastor dosen't mind pulling an few strings... and limbs to help you out - You enjoyed Alastor is company I mean he is the radio demon he is the most cruel overlord with you coming second since you weren't as bad as him - Your bond was strong and tight for an Mafia leader and well an Radio man.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

[thebibutterflyao3]

Someone talk me out of turning a 100% texting fic with multiple POVs into a longer, more developed fic. Why does this one live rent-free in my head? I don’t even know whose POV I would write it in! 🙄

For context:

Simps & Feral Squirrels

Jegulus/Wolfstar/Dorlene/Pandalily/Partyvan

Some of my favourite scenes:

Tigerlily: Alright. Clearly we need a refresher on group chat etiquette.

No spamming. (cc: @ jamie)

No simping/flirting/drooling. (cc: @ jamie)

No threats or violence. (cc: @R.A.B. & @Fuck Off)

No posting after 11pm or before 6am. (cc: @So Sirius and @ jamie)

Be kind or be quiet. (cc: @Fuck Off, @Mmm, @mARS(E) bar, @R.A.B.)

jamie: hey why am i tagged in so many of them? :/

R.A.B.: @ jamie You’re fucking annoying.

jamie: hey! #5

Bartemius: @ jamie That is his “nice.”

Fuck Off: I’ll be quiet. So fucking quiet.

Mmm: kys <affectionately>

mARS(E) bar: kys <I’ll fuck your mum>

——————————

Pete P.: I want Barty and Evan, and they both want me now. How do I make this work?

Mmm: Interesting. I would suggest an open conversation between the three of you. Communication is important.

Pete P.: What if I arranged a threesome and we fucked it out?

Mmm: Another viable option.

——————————

Tigerlily: Help me pick an outfit for today?

Mmm: Event?

Tigerlily: Hopefully running into a girl I met yesterday.

Mmm: In that case, your dark green sundress with sandals. No sweater over the top!

Tigerlily: Oh. That one is so low-cut though.

Mmm: Exactly. If she’s petite, her eye line will be right at your chest. That should answer your question.

Tigerlily: Fine, but I’m wearing the sweater. I’ll just unbutton her if I see it.

Tigerlily: *unbutton it if I see her

Tigerlily: Oh my god. That’s mortifying.

Mmm: Think you had it right the first time, Lils.

——————————

Fuck Off: @So Sirius You have five seconds…5…4…

So Sirius: shite

Mmm: Here lies the dismembered remains of Sirius ‘can’t keep a secret’ Black. He will be forever remembered as the fool who fucked around and found out.

mARS(E) bar: His lasting impressions on this earth were his great hair and the ability to confuse “straight” men. He is survived by a prat of a little brother, a golden retriever pansexual with adhd, Peter, and his murderous boyfriend who will spend all of eternity grinding his teeth in fury.

pan…dora: Amen. Why are we burying Sirius?

——————————

Mmm: What the fuck is going on? Who’s screaming?

pan…dora: Regulus

Mmm: It’s so loud!

pan…dora: He’s panicking.

mARS(E) bar: reg just ran past my window

mARS(E) bar: oh look there’s james too

mARS(E) bar: followed by siri

mARS(E) bar: and now remus

Tigerlily: Where’s the fire?

Mmm: On Regulus’s arse apparently.

——————————

R.A.B.: I’m never coming back to the dorm. I live here now.

pan…dora: Where’s here? Gryffindor?

R.A.B.: By extension, yes.

pan…dora: James’s room?

R.A.B.: Inside of James’s jumper. With him in it.

R.A.B.: That was a nightmare. I can’t do it, Pandora. I can’t go back.

pan…dora: We’ll sort something out, Reg.

R.A.B.: There’s nothing to sort out. He’s mine and I refuse to let him leave me.

Pete P.: That doesn’t sound healthy, mate.

R.A.B.: I don’t give a fuck. You can pry him out of my cold, dead hands.

[scribble-brain-aced]

for pride month, i have:

a list of how the hazbin hotel had their gay awakening. (or lesbian, or bi, or trans, or aroace, pan, etc)

Charlie: she watched Sleeping Beauty, the year after it came out. she looked at Snow White and thought “wow, she’s so pretty.. but also Price Florian.. wait.” because this was in 1938, she didn’t know what bisexuality was, but she knew and accepted her feelings, because it wasn’t a big deal to her. in the 1970s, she found the label for it— bisexuality— and thought “OH THERE’S A NAME FOR THIS, YAY!” and that was that.

Vaggie: when she was still alive, in 2010, a friend sent her a photo of a genderbent character from some TV show, and her first thought was “oh, okay, i see why everyone’s in love with them now. …wait.” she spent the next 20 minutes looking up female versions of characters and realizing “oh. OH THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH” (based on my own story)

Angel: honestly, he can’t really say. he just kinda knew from the beginning that men were just hot, and he’d marry a guy if he could. molly just assumed he meant “yeah, men are just better than women” and went along with it, even though she personally thought both were radiantly beautiful. (she found out what pansexual meant in 1972.)

Husk: he has no idea. if asked, he just shrugs and goes “any hole is a goal, i couldn’t care less.” at one point, Angel just shoved a poster at him, Husk read it and was like “oh. i guess that’s me.” pretty chill reaction, just continued his normal day, but kept thinking “okay, wow, that’s ME.”

Sir Pentious: he just thought all people liked both men and women, but because of societal rules and whatever, they had to wait until they had a crush on the opposite gender. ..what do you mean thats not what being straight is. (he only found out what bisexuality was after he came to the Hotel and Charlie had a bi flag pin. he asked her what country that was, and she had to sit him down to explain the concept of LGBTQ+, and no, it is ABSOLUTELY NOT a mental illness, wtf, you’re fine, buddy, go be happy.)

Alastor: post-season 1, like three people separately wished him a happy asexual awareness week and he was so confused, he asked Angel to look up ‘a sexual’ on his phone because he couldn’t find anything at the library. (he was looking at the outdated library in cannibal town.) he read the definition, and locked himself in his room for the rest of the day. if anybody heard muffled screaming and somehow-happy-sounding swearing, nobody mentioned it.

Vox: pfft, what? no, he’s not gay! he’s perfectly straight! is it gay to say that men are just as good at women? …Val, what do you MEAN ‘no but yes’? (Valentino explained the entire history of LGBTQ+, stressing bisexuality. Vox just said “okay, okay, hear me out.. there’s a whole month for them, right? their whole thing is rainbows? what if we paint all of our logos rainbow-colored? they’d buy it!” Valentino gave up, because Vox just COULD NOT comprehend what he was trying to say. but he keeps sending bisexual memes to Vox.)

Valentino: he just always knew. come on, everyone’s hot, unless they aren’t. even better if they can be exploited. that’s all there is to it.

Velvette: pfft, she grew up with social media, she’s known about this shit since she was a kid. fuck love, fuck fucking, she’d rather pester Vox into making cheesy garlic bread. the guy’s a bitch, but he makes good cheesy garlic bread.

Baxter: back before he and sir pentious became bitter enemies, they were both talking about.. whatever. at one point, they got on the topic of clothing, and Baxter— then Bella— griped that he hated how dresses felt. too heavy, too annoying, and it made him feel sick, anyway. suits were just better, not just because they’re lighter. man, he wished he were a boy. pentious asked if he wanted to be a boy in general, not just for the suits, and after a moment, Baxter excused himself quickly to go find something in his library, shooing Pentious out of the house. a couple days later, he came out, transitioned, all that. the only reason he doesn’t cut off his light-lure thingy is because it’s useful. other than that, he avoids looking at it as much as possible.

[sorikufeels]

hi i made some soriku pride icons based on the headcanons i have for them! i also have alternate versions that i’ll post separately where i adjusted the colors of the characters themselves to reflect the colors the flags!! i had a lot of fun with these so if anyone wants them with a different flag id probably be down to make that!

please like/reblog if you use! :)

edit: alternative versions here!!

i’m gonna ramble a bit about my headcanons below the cut lol

for sora:

i see sora as pansexual and arospec!!

as an arospec person myself i relate a lot to what sora says in the character files about not really getting love so i hold him being arospec very near and dear to my heart!! i think differentiating different kinds of love is confusing for him and i don’t know where he falls on the spectrum (and i don’t think he does either!!) but he’s somewhere along there so that is why i used the arospec flag!!

that being said, i do think he experiences attraction to some degree and i don’t really see gender influencing his attraction at all so i hc him as pan. bi could also work but i personally identify more with pan and love to project lmao

for riku:

i see riku as gay, demisexual, and trans!!

riku has only really shown real interest in sora throughout the whole series (since him being like “i’ll share the paopu fruit with kairi” was a way to get under sora’s skin) so we’ve only seen him as attracted to a guy so that’s why i see him as gay! also his whole interaction with shiki in dream drop just fucking screamed that he’s gay and please get this girl away from him oh god

i don’t have a reason for hc’ing riku as demi i just feel like the vibes fit lol

i am a riku is a trans man truther!!!! i don’t really have a canon supported reason for this either i just love the headcanon that he’s trans. you know for a fact he wears his binder way too long bro someone tell him it’s bad for him please

also i have the trans flag for both of them above, but im really only hard set on riku being trans. however, t4t soriku is very sweet and i love it so much 🥺

anyway rambling over, thank you for reading lol

[oscconfessions]

nobody loves OJ ii like I do, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. 😡😡 that man is my WIFE, HUSBAND, FIANCE, BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, ALL OF THE ABOVE. 💚💚 I HAVE READ HIS WIKI PAGE SO MUCH. 📌📌I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM THAT I CAN, I SCREAM WHEN HE GETS SCREENTIME AND JUMP UP AND DOWN🇬🇧🇬🇧. I'VE WATCHED EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY FIND WITH ORANGE JUICE IN IT.🍊🍊 IVE READ ALL OF THE SHIP PAGES HES IN ON THE SHIPPING WIKI, I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I DON'T LIKE IT I LOVE HIM. 💥💥 I ALWAYS LOOK AT HIM EHEN HE APPEARS ON SCREEN, I HAVE A WHOLE ALBUM ON MY PHONE THATS JUST OJ. 🎀🎀 I'M ALLERGIC TO ORANGES BUT IS THAT GONNA STOP ME? NO!!!!!!! 🧀🧀 NO ALLERGIES ARE GONNA STOP ME, ORANGE JUICE INANIMATE INSANITY MY LOVE. 🫶🫶 ONE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPRD EPISODE 4 OF INANIMATE INSANITY INVITATIONAL AND WAS CONFUSED WHERE OJ WENT. ☹️☹️ he is EVERYTHING when I go to bed at night and I stare at my ceiling i spiritually feel him under my BED. ‼️‼️ MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING AAAAAAAGGGHJJJJGGHHHH NO ONE GETS HIM LIKE I DO 🫐🫐 I LOVE OJ............ IM PANSEXUAL

P - OJ

A - OJ

N - OJ

S - OJ

E - OJ

X - OJ

U - OJ

A - OJ

L - taco

I - OJ

T - OJ

Y - OJ

I WANT HIM to be SHATTERED (affectionately)

I also, WANT HIM.

I DON'T CARE IF HES PROBABLY JUST A RANDOM 40 YEAR OLD AVERAGE GUY WHO HAS THE MUSIC TASTE OF A WHITE FATHER, GES MY WIFE!!!!!!!!! 😈😈 HES MY FAVORITE CHARACTER? 🤯🤯 HES PANSEXUAL NOW. 🌈🌈 HE'S THE IDEAL GUY, HES EVERYHTING I LOVE HIM. 🧩🧩 I NEED HIM IN WAYS REGARDING JESUS(MEPHONE4) AND FEMINISM. DO NOT QUESTION WGAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS......... FOCUS ON ORAMNGE JUICE 📯📯 I'M RRRAAGAGGGHHHGDGGGGG I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!🫕🫕 I NEED HIM!!!!!!! 🎉🎉 HE'S THE STRAIGHEST GAY MAN IVE EVER SEEN. I am not okay, please help.

.

[lippiethehoe]

Well hi tumblr queers again :D.

Okay so for starters CONTENT WARNING I'll be talking about sexuality sex and overall sexual stuff so if that's not something you wanna look at then don't read thanks :).

I kinda feel like starting a little conversation and also hopefully getting some answers from lgbts from tumblr which hmmm... idk if this is the best place for this, especially since I don't particularly have a big following, nor do I think I have the means to make this be more visible to randos on tumblr so hmm, if this amounts to nothing know I'll be embarassed about it but that's okay, but also I fucking hate reddit and all my google research efforts have resulted in either basically nothing or people asking similar questions to mine but having very deeply different prespectives of both gender in general and sexuality in general than me so google research didn't slay at all, and so I'll lend my trust to the tumblers ig.

Ok so hello, I'm lilly I'm a demiromantic trans woman and I've struggled for kind of a while with my sexuality, not because I don't know what it is, but because I'm actually a huge labels person. Having a word to describe the way i feel about things has always helped me feel as though I know myself better and can make others know me better aswell. Even if putting labels on complex human feelings and emotions is essentialy pointless, it's still something that means alot to me, and I hate that for the longest time I have been perfectly capable of knowing what my sexuality is, but can't simple it down to one word and use it on my day to day life and that makes me sad. It also makes me feel kinda alone in my feelings? cause I'm basically the only person i know with this prespective on my sexuality at least for now so I'm a bit confused, obviously I don't think I'm the only person like this cause that's basically impossible but it still feels that way ig?

Also I remembered this recently only because it's pride month, happy pride month btw :3, and I was doing a thing on discord where everyday I'd add a flag that I indetify with on my profile picture, problem is I've ran out of flags, because no sexual orientation feels right and from my knowledge of it there isn't a sexuality nor a flag for what I feel, and now not only does my discord pfp not look full of colors and pretty it also re-awakened a little identity crisis I've had for a while.

This is definetly gonna be a very long post but I won't feel like I explained myself correctly if it isn't a big post so bear with me, but let's start.

So I'm gonna start explaining how I personally view sexuality and gender so you, reader, can have all the means available to understand my prespective on this. Sexuality to me is kinda simple, simply means whatever a person is attracted to, what makes them sexually interested in someone, whatever other way you wanna put it, and gender is simply the way a person identifies themselves with, the eyes they navigate the world through, the way they percieve themselves and the way they want to be percieved as by others etcetera, I won't explain my prespective on romanticism cause that's essentially useless to my question, but yeah simple stuff right?

So here's where I don't believe I fit in with most sexualities, here's the question I've had for quite a while but never thought to express it in a place where more than just a few friends could hear, I am not sexuality attracted to genders, ok now is when someone screams at me and says pansexual, I don't agree, but moving on, I'm not sexually attracted to people much, I am sexually attracted to penis tho, and here's where someone screams heterosexual at me AND IF YOU DID I FUCKING HATE YOU FYI NOT CAUSE I HATE HETEROS BUT BECAUSE THAT AS AN ANSWER TO WHAT I SAID IS FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC, YEAH I SAID IT, BITCH!!!

But here's the thing, what is a gender, ok I wrote alot after i said that but deleted it all cause this could fall into a very long rabbit hole, but gender's a construct blah blah, can you tell I probably have some neurodivergencies going on in the head anyways continuing. Genuinely, I don't know what it feels like to be a sexuality that includes gender in it, not because I don't think it to be true obviously i know people are heterosexual bisexual homosexual lesbians any other sexual orientation that implies gender being a part of the equation. But to me I can't be sexually attracted to men because a man can be anything to me, I can't be sexually attracted to women because a woman can be anything to me, i can't be sexually attracted to enbys cause being non-binary can be anything to me and the list goes on. Nothing is set in gender because to me gender can look like, feel like, and be like anything, if I labeled myself heterosexual, sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender of me, what would I mean by it? cause think about it, there're big men small men skinny fat muscular men hairy shaved brown eyed dark skinned pussy having dick having blah blah blah and the list goes on again, and even in there I'm not specifically attracted to any of the traits on that list anyways, none of those traits sexually arouse me, men don't sexually arouse me, women don't sexually arouse me, but you know what does? penis. So therein lies the issue, cause surprise, there's a bunch of dicks in the world, what? that's crazy? Yeah penis is everywhere, there're men with penises women with penises nonbinaries with penises intersex people with penises dildos people with strap-ons and the list goes on and in that entire list, the only thing that sexualy arouses me personally, is penis, not who has it, not wether or not it was there from birth, not wether or not it's made of plastic or human skin, not wether or not I'm specifically sexually attracted to any other aspect of said person, but simply the thing that sexually arrouses me and makes me feel pleasure is the thing that sexually attracts me, which in my head is so fucking obvious? Like it's a conclusion so natural to me, but it seems I'm the only person in a 50 km radius that feels this way? It's also possible that I'm actually wrong and view the current existing sexualities in the wrong way and if that's what's up please tell me.

Also i feel the rising tension of someone saying stuff like "people can sexually stimulate others with fingers are u FiNgErSeXuAl?" and the truth is not really but I still find it sexually arousing when it happens, but the last thing I'm gonna do is look at fingers and blush I think. WOAH THAT JUST OPENED A NEW DOOR FUCKK OH NO THIS IS GONNA BE TOO LONG MAYBE I SHOULDN'T POST THIS IDK. I am also sexually attracted to certain actions, but at this point I feel I'm leaving sexuality and going into kink territory and that isn't really where I wanted to go. EITHER WAY my overall conclusion is I don't understand most sexualities and feel as though my view of my sexuality should have a label so I feel more comfortable, maybe I should be the catalyst who knows maybe someone's already been the catalyst and I'm simply unaware of that, either way I'd like a sexuality flag to add to my discord pfp so maybe I'll just make a flag up, who fucking knows, that's it tho. So yeah if anyone who sees this post experiences anything similar to this and wants to share about it please do I'd be really thankful.

Thank you so much if you sticked with me all the way to the end, and if you feel like you might have some insight on what I'm saying or simply wanna say something relevant to this topic please do, it's pride month and I'm incredibly proud of all queers and gender fuckers :3 happy pride month!

Ps: I just wanna say something, this isn't an invitation to flirt with me send me unsolicited dick pics or respond to things I clearly showed not to be questions, I want this topic to be taken in more of a discussion way than a sexual one, if that could be possible I'd be thankful, ok that's it bie bie.

[thevampireslovelywife]

FREE FOR ALL: Story 1- Lina

*This is the start of the story- behold the tales of people young and old, and how their lives play out...*

The day when Lina figured out she may not have been who she said she’d be wasn’t a sad one, or the day she began to hate herself. She was actually quite happy, realizing who she was made her feel on top of the world. But, it was everything that came after that made her hate herself little by little. Figuring out she wasn’t completely a girl made her feel like she pieced together some part of a puzzle that she hadn’t realized was missing before. But it was the fact that she had been raised the way she was– that made her feel like something was wrong with her. She had been fine with being seen as a girl for as long as she could remember, so why was it that she was finding out that she felt like this now? And oh– oh she knew how her parents would react if she ever told them. They wouldn’t believe her.

They didn’t seem to think that trans people were really who they said they were. As wonderful and kind as her parents were, she knew. She knew they would never understand. And it killed her inside, having to keep who she was from her parents. But she saw– she experienced how it was when she initially came out to her parents as Omnisexual. They thought it was her friend's influence, that she was just trying to fit in. She agreed with them on the inside, because she was scared and didn’t want to fight with them anymore. Lina knew though, she knew that the feelings she had were real. 

Lina could just imagine the conversation that would occur if she came out to her parents completely. A pansexual demigirl. 

“A what? What did you say?” Her mother would ask, not mad but very confused and disbelieving.

“Do you know what that means, Lina? That means you like all genders, even trans people.” Her father would say.

And the whole time, she would want to scream: YES! Yes, I know what it means! It’s me, it’s how I feel! Of course I fucking know! 

But even then. The guilt would probably eat her alive once more and she would succumb to her parents’ thoughts of her. She would continue to be her parents' good little girl– smiling happily, going to church every week. Feeling like an imposter every single time she entered the church, knowing she was probably damned for hell, just because she loved. It ate her alive, not being able to be herself. But it was the only way she knew how to be at this point, and she had already lost herself all those ages ago in middle school. 

“Carolina!” Her mother called her name, probably for dinner, and Lina pushed all these thoughts to the back of her mind. It never did her well to think too much, so she always took to never thinking at all.

***

Tags:

@starmanbutitsregulusblack @themortalityofundyingstars @lana-maeve-occasionally-reads

@thisisntrocket @an-illegal-gay

@justaboymadeofhoneyandglass

@mars-randomly-rants @deadchaoticcosmos @garden-of-runar @sleepinginmygrave

@saturnsconstellation

@m0ngrxl

[spicyseonghwas]

nobody likes you anyways

pairing :: jung jaehyun x male reader genres/au's :: smut, college au viewer rating :: 18+ ; sexual content content warnings :: cursing, name calling, hate sex sorta, throat fucking, hair pulling, degrading sorta, reader is a shit talker lmao, implied adhd!reader network tag @preciousillusions-net word count :: 682

jung jaehyun had always had a way with love and sex. it was the easiest thing ever for him to navigate and deal with, even easier than the many heartbreaks he'd suffered in his life. and he had always considered himself a pansexual of sorts; he had never really been very picky about who he loved.

but l/n m/n was a completely different story.

you were a complete mess. you were absolutely chaotic. you were loud, extremely charismatic and eccentric, and you were an absolute fatmouth. you could never seem to stop talking shit about everyone around you, and very word that came out of your mouth made jaehyun shake with rage.

you were absolutely impossible to be around.

which was why he was so exhausted already after only having been trapped in the library with you for an hour.

"do you ever shut the fuck up??" jaehyun snapped, whipping around to stare daggers into your disgustingly bubbly smile.

"hMMMMMM..." you feigned, "NOPE!" and a playful scream and a laugh escaped your lips as you dodged the third book jaehyun had pelted at you in the past hour.

"if you don't shut the fuck up i'm going to fistfuck your throat." jaehyun hissed, his glare making you freeze. your incessant giggles faltered for a moment before your confidence came back, one single word coming out of your mouth.

"bet."

jaehyun didn't answer for a long moment, simply staring into your eyes, a multitude of emotions you couldn't quite identify flitting through the other boy's unusually warm, chocolate-brown eyes.

"alright, mr. snappy." jaehyun quipped. "you really want it?" he asked.

you nodded.

jaehyun smirked.

"get your bitch-ass over here and take it."

~+~

your face continued to get bright red, your eyes, rolling back into your skull before they fluttered closed as your face continued to get hotter and hotter. you groaned like an animal, the sound making jaehyun's cock vibrate as he fucked your throat. he chuckled, his grip on your hair tightening. you let loose another whoreish moan that was muffled by jaehyun's cock, and your pride skyrocketed through the roof as jaehyun groaned, his already painfully tight grip on your hair tightening again until your scalp sort of started to sting.

"you like this, you little bitch?" jaehyun asked smugly, smirking snarkily.

as your mouth was stuffed with cock, your only response was another moan, this one sluttier than the last.

jaehyun growled like a beast, signalling you that his release was coming soon. you smirked internally, knowing he wouldn't last much longer. you closed your eyes again, hollowing out your cheeks and pressing your tongue flat against the bottom of jaehyun's cock to drag him closer to his release.

jaehyun bit his lip and held back a whimper that would not hold up well with his reputation, pulling harder on your hair as he blew his load into your mouth.

"you're such a slut," jaehyun said smugly, "you talk so much big shit, but you'll shut up in a second if it means you get to have your throat fucked. hm?"

you giggled, nodding your head with an innocent smile that caught jaehyun completely off guard.

"...why are you smiling? i just insulted you--" he started, but you cut him off, rolling over on top of him and slamming your lips onto his. you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

"y'know the reason i take your bullying is because i think you'd be a lot hotter if you'd just quit being an absolute dick, right?" you asked, wiggling your eyebrows playfully with a grin and a giggle when jaehyun gave you the weirdest, most innocently confused look.

"...what-" jaehyun started, but then cut himself off. "you do know that's literally the most wrong, stupid, dangerous, self-abusive, idiotic thing you've ever said?!?"

"yes, jaehyun, i'm aware that i'm an idiot."

"...i have nothing to say. no comment."

you giggled.

"you could fuck my throat again~" you prompted.

"...or i could just punch you?" he replied hopefully, but with a giggle of his own this time.

© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.

[gab-has-adhd]

📍🃏Illumi and Hisoka headcanons I have

Warning for potential NSFW or gore-related stuff as well as general angst, traumas, s*icid*l thoughts and drug use ⚠️ Please do not read if you are not in the best mental health state and believe this could harm you. Stay safe 💕

Warning for some SPOILERS if you only watched the anime and/or didn't read pas the end of the election arc 🌸

Do not engage a discussion with me if you are disagreeing please, I just feel like sharing, I am not looking for discussion or arguments 🌸 Keep in mind that these are just my headcanons in the end, and headcanons, by definition, aren't canon.

📍Illumi📍

A traumatized man who always acts as if nothing is wrong, ignoring his trauma on purpose, not seeking help nor wanting to heal

He has been brainwashed by his parents. By his family in general. This guy believes he exists only to be useful to the Family (tm)

Meeting Hisoka is specifically what made him start to stray from "the path of the assassin"

Baby realized he had the right to desire things for himself like any human being

And boy he wants power and control

Absolutely yassified himself to match Hisoka

Neurodivergent (AuDHD, I want to believe)

Queer and homosexual

I want to believe he has BPD solely because I want him to be like me

He does feel pain. He just doesn't react to it. His pain receptors might have been altered, but I like to think it's more of an emotionally / sensitively stunted kinda thing

I really just think he got tortured until he just completely stopped reacting.

God thas man is broken

He does dissociate and have traumatic flashbacks on occasions. And ignores them. And lets his mental health get worse.

Used to have trypanophobia

Sensations are complicated for him. They tend to mix up. He often confuses pain for pleasure (the opposite as well)

Boy is extreme. He likes everything extreme. He wants to feel things, and to feel things, they have to be extreme.

Weird fascination for blood

I swear to fuck this man holds himself back so hard from provoking bloodshed because he is an ✨️assassin✨️ and has to be discreet and professional, but. Dang. Blood.

He's AFAB just because I am AFAB úwù

Probably greyromantic or demiromantic.

Also probably greysexual or demisexual.

He does care for Hisoka, deep down. But he 100% denies that fact. Denies so hard he thinks Hisoka being dead won't bother him at all. It will. God it will.

He's so silly.

Everyone thinks he has no emotions but he does have emotions! He has a heck lot of emotions. It's the ability to emote he somewhat lacks. Ya know, like a lot of neurodivergent people.

He's a dom but he will be a bottom for the right person (aka someone able to override his numbness and make him scream)

More of a masochist than a sadist

Lanky boy who does hard drugs because he wants to feel ✨️

Secret death wish

Takes everything he hears literally

Toned but underweight

Knows how to make piercings

When he was little, Kikyo used to dress him up in kimonos like a doll just like with Kalluto.

Look I love both of his seiyuus honestly but Urara Takano wins my heart

Depending on the person and despite how detached he acts, he can actually behave in a jealous or possessive way.

⭐️Hisoka💧

Such a mystery man right here

Genderfluid pansexual

Oh boy he do be hypersexual

His natural hair color is red. This guy is a ginger.

He dyes them magenta or blue all the time.

He actually is covered with freckles.

Uses makeup + Bungee Gun + Texture Surprise to hide them though

He is very self-conscious about his face and overall appearance. Baby hates his freckles.

I don't teally wanna imagine a backstory for this guy. This guy doesn't need one. I honestly don't care about why he is Like That, he just is. Let him remain the Mystery Man!

Sociopath

Does he actually care for Illumi? Honestly? Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't.

But at the end of the day I do think Illumi is really just another of his toys. An exceptional toy, a toy nonetheless.

Obsessed with violence

A very lonely man

Kind of a loser honestly

Actually an introvert

Possibly has ADHD. As an ADHD person I am not sure to see traits in him but hey. Why not

Doesn't have a death with but he isn't scared of death either

Is he only capable of feeling genuine, 100% not-twisted romantic feelings? I doubt it

There is something deeply wrong with this man but we will never know why

Life is just a game for him and he intends to have as much fun as possible

Autoassassinophilic mf

Just as more of a sadist than he is a masochist

Both Illumi and Chrollo make his kokoro go dokidoki, but at least with Illumi it's mutual (?)

Body covered with scars he hides with his nen

He is still disfigured from the Chrollo fight under that Bungee Gum

He is kept alive by post-mortem nen. When / if he succeeds to kill all of the Spiders, he will die for good.

Might have actually met Illumi once when they were kids. They both forgot.

I prefer his 1999 seiyuu. Hiroki Takahashi in my heart forever 🌸

This man has the worst possible vibe but gets what he wants thanks to his big dumptruck ass and his charisma

Pathologically big cock

He thinks too often with said cock instead of using his brain

[asterkiss]

Dating Profile

Mabel "helps" Bill set up an online dating profile. Hastily written random thing.

It stared with Wendy asking the girls to assist in scoping out the matches on her dating app. The redhead got a lot of matches and after connecting her phone up to the television in her room she, Mabel, Candy and Grenda all sat around eating popcorn as they metacilously reviewed and carried out judgement on each match.

'Ooh, he has nice eyes, you should totally date him!' Mabel gushed.

Wendy made a face. 'He has a furry costume on in his third pic.'

'At least you know he likes animals!' Candy qupped in.

The older girl glanced amidst the trio of eager faces and offered a slightly strained smile. Maybe asking these three to help her pick out guys hadn't been the best idea but she'd been eager to hang out after coming back from college for the Summer. 'Let's uh... put him down as a maybe and move on.'

'Maybe we should make dating profiles,' Grenda suggested.

'Don't you have to be eighteen?' Candy asked. All three of them were a few years shy of that still.

'Ooh, we could make one for Grunkle Stan!' Mabel cried, clasping her hands together. In that moment her phone began going off, playing an upbeat boy band tune. She picked it up only to groan.

'Bill?' Wendy asked.

Mabel nodded. 'Bill.' With a shrug she hit ignore and put it back down on silent.

And then Candy had a fiendish idea.

'Hey girls, why don't we make a dating profile for Bill?'

There was a pause. An exchange of glances. An arched eyebrow and thoughful hum.

Then the real fun began.

>

'What do we put down for his age?' Grenda asked, the group of girls huddled around Wendy's computer.

They'd made a start on the profile. Mabel had a few snapshot pics of Bill she had managed to load up, namely Bill laughing manically as he set off fireworks inside the diner whilst several blurry diners in the background ran out screaming.

'He's like a billion years old, right?' Wendy drawled. Though the demon still acted like a petulent child or rowdy teenager at times. He didn't didn't come across as a mature adult.

'Let's stick with twenty,' Mabel said, keying in the same age Grunkle Stan had put down on his fake ID. 'Done. Hobbies?'

'Making children cry and kicking puppies,' Wendy said.

Mabel elbowed the older girl. 'He's gotten a little better! It's been like eight months since he made a kid cry.'

'Uh huh.'

'Let's say he likes poetry and reading young romance novels, that'll get him tones of matches!' Grenda insisted.

'You're gonna end up tossing some innocent chick to the wolf if you do that,' Wendy said. 'At least make the profile honest.'

'Hm, does it have to be a "chick" though?' Candy asked abruptly, looking thoughtful as she hovered over the "orientation" section of the profile. 'Why not a handsome man, as well? Why not anyone?'

'Oh my...' Grenda said.

'I'm pretty sure gender doesn't matter to him since he's a demon,' Mabel mused aloud.

'Pansexual, it is,' Candy decided.

Wendy looked on as the three girls really got into it, smiling wryly. 'This is gonna end so badly.' She made no move to stop them.

>

A week later Bill was set up on a date with a biker named Greg. Mabel invited Bill out on the pretense of them hanging out together, but it wasn't her waiting at the diner. Oh no. It was the dashing young man Gregory.

Mabel sat in the bushes opposite the diner, binoculars held to her face as the three girls watched the scene play out through the diner window. Bill's date had just appeared, confusion spreading across the demon's face at the strangers arrival before he received a text message from herself wishing him luck. She watched Bill's face shift as he read the text before he snapped his head up and glared right at her.

Eep.

She ducked down, dragging the two girls with her.

'Do you think he saw us?' Candy whispered.

Maybe just a bit.

>

'What the heck is this profile?' Bill snapped, looking through the thing. 'It's not accurate at all! Why isn't manipulating humans and sording discord listed in my hobbies?'

'Well, we kinda thought that might scare potential suitors away,' Mabel said sheepishly. 'But look! We did mention you dislike tickling! And hey, you got so many matches! You're super popular with the guys.'

He sent her a withering glare. 'I don't need some stupid dating app to get a date. I'm Bill Cipher, I've been tricking humans into stupid descision for thousands of years!'

Mabel laughed again. Well, if this was as far as his reaction went she got off pretty lightly.

At least, that's what she thought.

'Anyway, since you had so much fun with this, I went to the trouble of making a dating profile for you as well, kid.'

She blinked. 'You did?' A pause and the teenager leaned in with an intense gaze. 'Did I get any matches? How many? Are they cute?'

'Just the one.' Bill held up her phone that he had apparently borrowed, and Mabel's smile froze at what was displayed. Uh. Her gaze flickered back up to his, where he was watching her with a predatory smile.

'Your first date's in two hours, better go get ready. I've heard this guy doesn't like being late.'

The demon brushed past, dropping the phone into her hands as he left her alone. Mabel stared down at the phone, eyes wide and heart thudding rapidly against her chest.

Oh boy.

Matching with Bill Cipher could not end well, right?

[sillypiratelife]

We got zoro and nami gay lesbian solidarity, so sanji and vivi bisexual pansexual solidarity when

Serving it right now 🫡🫡🫡🫡

Sanji and Vivi bisexual / pansexual solidarity:

Grew up thinking they liked just one gender until they joined the strawhats and they had their first gay panic ever.

Gushing about girls and how cute and soft and powerful and capable and amazing and lovable they are, to the point they look like two adorable fools blushing over their tea break conversation.

They are very aware why they like that one guy, but it doesn't stop them from jokingly (or not in Sanji's case) complaining about their life decisions.

And by that I mean that Vivi and Sanji hold hands in solidarity every time Koza or Zoro do another heroic yet stupid thing and they can't scream to anyone else about it.

Didn't understand their sexuality 'cause they either thought everyone was pretty (Vivi) or had a specific attraction towards different genders (Sanji).

Some nights are about weeping over the fact they will die alone, other nights are 'bout how the list of people who deserve them is limited to two people and maybeee a third one of the person is interested.

Honestly? They adore being scandalized. It's mostly because they value the most those who are not afraid to treat them like equals, who are not afraid to fight them (physically if necessary), those who are not easily fooled by appearances.

I don't know how to explain this but they are damsel in distress coded, even when they're also very Knight of the Kingdom. Not 'cause they can defend themselves it means they're not into being defended and supported and occasionally saved.

Terrified of starting something even if they could, as in they don't want to ruin what they have wishing for something they don't know if it'd work out.

Penpals. I don't argue about this one. They absolutely most definitely deserve to be the bestest of penpals. Sanji should be able to describe every single thing Nami does so Vivi and he could sigh dreamily over it. Also, they should share their mutual condolences over the way Koza and Zoro sound when they're on protective mode, or how they look when they train, or how close they are to losing their minds over the miscommunication of their relationships.

They call each other names are Mr. Prince and Vivi Strawhat. The letters are freaking coded to look like recipes. Insane stuff.

Would arrive color matching to an event without knowing. It's the fashion radar. No idea what it means.

The rules establish that they must almost faint when they see a handsome cute girl swearing like a sailor, but always fistfight the pretty boy with a kind heart for taking shit.

Just saying there's also a bit of gender slash identity crisis with both of them. Just a bit. Do I want to be like them or do I like them? Is this admiration or lust? Is this romantic love or friendship? They're so confused.

The last person you want to threaten with the "you and what army?" line, because there are 5 to 10 other queer motherfuckers waiting to kill you if you harm the bisexual / pansexual icon of the team.

[malachiexists13]

Gay Or Nay?: Ikemen Series Edition

86% voted yes, 14% voted no, so here’s the post. Reminder that these are MY impressions of the characters, and this is entirely a joke. No need to take me too seriously. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. No need to argue, just make your own post. 

Also small spoilers for my ikemen ocs series.

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Ikemen Sengoku

Nobunaga Oda 

Have you SEEN his right and left hand men? He’s either an ally or bi-curious. Can’t decide. 

Masamune Date 

He flirts with Mai to hide his homosexuality /j 

Nah, I’ve seen how he admitted that he’d kiss Nobunaga. He’s gay. Bisexual if you please, but gay. 

Mitsuhide Akechi 

Is that even a question? Have you somehow not seen the way he flirts with Hideyoshi? Let’s be honest, he’s bisexual. 

Keiji Maeda 

Idk him well enough to judge that. 

Hideyoshi Toyotomi 

I know a lot of people are going to want me to say Hideyoshi is gay because of Mitsuhide... But honestly, Hideyoshi gives me the vibes of someone who says gay shit without realizing its gay. He seems more like a very supportive ally to me. 

Ieyasu Tokugawa 

Idk but I can see him as like, panromantic or something. He also screams femboy to me but we dont talk about that 

Mitsunari Ishida 

Confused ally <3 

Ranmaru Mori 

Confused ally pt.2 + closeted ace 

Yoshimoto Imagawa 

Gay (they try to push so hard that he’s pretty, and no straight man is supposed to be that pretty /j) 

Sasuke Sarutobi 

Nerdy gay 

Kanetsugu Naoe 

Either indifferent so like, some kind of mspec or somewhere on the ace spectrum, maybe both, not too sure 

Yukimura Sanada 

Awkward gay (secretly dating nerdy gay) 

Kenshin Uesugi 

That one token straight guy who no one is completely sure that he’s straight or not. 

Shingen Takeda 

In my brain, major flirt = major bisexual so- 

Kicho 

I’ve seen other people write him as like, indifferent or pansexual so I’m leaning towards that 

Kennyo 

Wdym? He’s homophobic- (THIS IS A JOKE. NO HATE TOWARDS KENNYO) 

Motonari Mouri 

Kinda gives me either disaster bisexual or ace/aro vibes. 

Ikemen Revolution

Lancelot Kingsley 

Gay but in the closet about it 

Jonah Clemence 

Confession time: I thought he was a woman at first LMAO- 

Gay 

Edgar Bright 

He’s straight and an ally, but enjoys teasing the others 

Zero 

I dont think he’d care tbh 

Kyle Ash

Didnt realize he was gay until after he started dating his boyfriend 

Ray Blackwell 

His whole thing about freedom and living how you want to or whatever makes me think he’s bi 

Sirius Oswald 

He’s an ally <3 

Luka Clemence 

Shy gay 

Fenrir Godspeed 

Overly supportive ally (especially since his gf is MTF) 

Seth Hyde 

Everyone thinks he’s gay, but correction he’s pan 

Harr Silver 

He’s pansexual 

Loki Genetta 

I dont know him well enough?? 

Blanc Lapin 

He’s straight, maybe a little curious tho 

Oliver Knight 

He’s another ally, gives me the vibes of someone who would punch a homophobe in the face for insulting his friend 

Mousse Atlas 

I chronically forget he exists, so idk 

Dean Tweedle 

The gay twin 

Dalim Tweedle 

The straight twin that gets confused for the gay one 

Ikemen Vampire

Napoleon Bonaparte 

As far as I’m aware, in history he had two different wives and he kissed the tsar (even apparently said if the tsar was a woman, he’d make him his mistress soo--) Napoleon definitely isn’t straight 

Mozart 

He’s straight and hates everyone equally (/j) 

Leonardo da Vinci 

Gay 

Arthur Conan Doyle 

WHORE- this is a disaster bisexual 

Vincent van Gogh 

the supportive straight brother 

Theodorus van Gogh 

the angry gay brother 

Isaac Newton 

Too anxious to question his sexuality 

Jean d’Arc 

I like to joke that he’s bi but denies it because he hates men 

William Shakespeare 

not too sure tbh 

Osamu Dazai 

another disaster bisexual 

Comte de Saint-Germain 

I feel like he’d be omni. Like he doesn’t care, but still has a slight preference. Also supportive father figure <3 

Sebastian 

Serious gay 

Vlad 

I pondered on this one for a long time.. and I still have no answer 

Johann Georg Faust 

Closeted gay who suffers with internal homophobia (i literally wrote a oneshot for him where this was the main premise-) 

Charles-Henri Sanson 

another bi guy 

Ikemen Prince 

Leon Dompteur 

straight but supportive 

Chevalier Michel 

Bro, it’s CANON that he’s pansexual (I think- idk. I played his route when it first came out in english so its been awhile) 

Yves Kloss 

I feel like he’s bi but doesnt really talk about it 

Nokto Klein 

He’s too slutty to be ONLY into women 

Licht Klein 

Straight but an ally 

Clavis Lelouch 

gay ass clown 

Jin Grandet 

Straight 

Luke Randolph 

I HAVE NO IDEA???? 

Sariel Noir 

I feel like he’s straight but also an ally, like he doesn’t care but absolutely will NOT tolerate homophobia 

Rio Ortiz 

unsure. 

Gilbert von Obsidian 

Silly little gay man <3 I can see him as like, pan or something. 

Keith Howell 

Excluding his “other” side.. I can see Keith as straight, but a supportive ally 

Silvio Ricci 

He’s homophobic (secretly not straight but in denial)