#. gunpowder & gelatine--deidara

[reddawnmultimuse]

. starter for @thetoaddaddy

"Holy shit, Jiraiya--as in Jiraiya the Sannin?"

"Aye. Kisame an' the Uchiha took 'im out when 'e got in their way o' the Kyuubi brat. Kyuubi got away but got ourselves a prize." Sasori said as he and Deidara stared at the unconscious, bloodied man in the makeshift prison cell Pein had fabricated to rein in the Sannin; the black metal drawing in his chakra so he couldn't use any jutsu to escape. Despite this, Deidara kept his distance--just in case.

"So...why do we have to watch him, hn? He's not getting out!" Deidara questioned Sasori to which the puppeteer let out a sigh.

"Because, brat--Kisame an' that Uchiha are 'untin' down the Kyuubi 'gain an' Kakuzu an' 'idan are off doin' fuckin' whatever. An' it ain't us--it's you. Got meselfs better fings to do then watchin' a old man."

"Wait, what?" Deidara said but by the time he looked over, Sasori was gone. "D-Danna! Danna, you can't leave me here, hn! Danna!"

Deidara glanced at Jiraiya and cursed under his breath as he couldn't go after his partner. Looks like he was stuck on guard duty. Joy.

[gunpowdergelatine-katsu]

Hi, it's me, ya boi.

I'm alive, just checking in--again. Still preparing for my surgery in one weekish. So, I haven't been writing much because I've been splitting my time between work and the gym. And to make it worse, my grandma is hellbent on getting a new kitten so I'mma be playing babysitter between that.

But! But, after the kitten settles in and after my surgery, I'll be back on my bullshit. I haven't forgotten about anyone and if I have, I'm the worst, sorry. Don't hesitate to badger me 'bout it either in DMs or Discord. I'm on Discord on and off all day so that'd be better.

Feel free to add: gunpowder&gelatine#2675

Deidara out.

[reddawnmultimuse]

. closed starter for @bladedhunter || Uchiha Sasuke

It was dawn and Deidara was walking to the Tsuchikage's Mansion on orders from the Fourth Tsuchikage a.k.a Kurotsuchi, his favourite cousin--for an urgent and important mission.

Sure, an urgent and important mission. Likely a mission no one else wanted like saving a cat out of a tree or walking an old woman home; the missions Deidara had to do because he was trusted to do nothing else despite being a member of the Explosive Corps and "rehabilitated". No, even that got him no respect, be it from his own family or other shinobi. No, no one respected him and never would nor trusted him despite it being over a decade since his "employment" in the Akatsuki.

So, he wasn't expecting much as he entered the Tsuchikage's office. Akatsuchi was there, since he was advisor to the Tsuchikage, and glared at Deidara before whispering something to Kurotsuchi before leaving, purposely bumping into Deidara on his way out. Deidara said nothing nor reacted as he calmly walked over to his cousin's desk. Kurotsuchi supplied him a friendly smile but it fell when not only did the blonde man not acknowledge it but upon looking him over. He looked...not good. He never did this days. But, she said nothing because she knew Deidara knew that so she'd be preaching to the choir.

"Hello, Deidara-nii."

"What's the mission, hn?" Deidara huffed at her, having no patience for pleasantries nor small talk, especially not with her.

Understanding this, Kurotsuchi decided to just get into it. "I have an upmost urgent mission for you. Iwa is under threat--not just Iwa but all nations. We got intelligence from Konoha that there is a new terrorist organization threatening the era of peace. Not just that, but they've adopted the Akatsuki name and may have infiltrated Ame since there's been no government there since the Fourth War."

Deidara snorted crudely and spat. "So?"

Kurotsuchi frowned, a little irked by her cousin's rudeness but did her best to have patience with him--someone has too. "So, there's a possibility they had access to all the Akatsuki's secrets since the old organization's defeat. It could cause a Fifth War."

"Fun. Maybe I'll join them, hn."

Kurotsuchi sighed. "I--we--need you to go in and investigate but also eliminate this new 'Akatsuki'. We believe in good faith that the organization is in its infancy and only has a few members. However, they're S-rank criminals just like the Akatsuki before it," She could already anticipate Deidara rejecting the mission and leaving so she had prepared a back-up plan. "If you go on this mission and are successful, I'll decrease your restitution." As she thought, Deidara perked up at this news.

She knew their grandfather had crippled him with restitution to pay for his destruction of Iwa when he first left the village and to all the victims from the explosions; a quittance he'd never be able to pay back in his natural life. Hell, he could live for a millennium and still be paying. Whilst she couldn't cancel it outright due to their grandfather now being an Elder and would likely veto her decision, she could decrease the payment, if just a little bit.

Despite the tantalizing offer, Deidara milled over it from a moment before deciding to accept it. Afterall, maybe he'd finally be able to save up enough money to eat more than twice a week--or a male uniform. "Fine. I'll go to Ame and off these Akatsuki wannabe's, hn." He begrudgingly said.

"Good. You both are to leave immediately,"

Deidara piqued an eyebrow with a frown. "Both?"

Kurotsuchi gifted him a sheepish smile and gestured at someone in the background. When he turned to look, he expected her to be pointing to Akatsuchi, which wasn't ideal. However, who he saw was much, much worse as his blood instantly ran ice cold.

"No!"

[reddawnmultimuse]

. starter for @musesofchaos | kaia

“I’m sorry, Ame. We’ll be home soon, I promise, hn.” Deidara whispers to his baby boy he snuggles him to his chest. All he got was a weak grunt as Ame hugs the blue stuffed dog he got during his hospital stay.

Ame had caught the flu which developed into pneumonia, and he had to spend the last three weeks on oxygen in a children’s hospital. It was the scariest moment of Deidara’s life. Thankfully, Ame recovered, and they’d finally been discharged.

However, before leaving back to their home village, Deidara wanted to buy a few things since his son still wasn’t at one-hundred percent. Stuff like orange juice and snacks. This is so he didn’t have to do it once home and Ame could rest.

So, that’s what they were doing, shopping in a supermarket. Thankfully, since it was so early, it was quiet with not many people and Deidara wasn't to worried about being recognized. Or so he thought.

[reddawnmultimuse]

. continued from this | @musesofchaos

"I have," Ame says. His little cousins had been a lot more enthusiastic to meet Ame than Ame had been to meet them. He wasn't mean to them, though. Speaking of little cousins, Ame glances at Suzaku as the redheaded baby waves at him. However, he doesn't wave back, just stares for a moment before blinking and looking to Deidara next. "Mother, are you excited?"

Deidara says nothing, at first. What a question that was. If he was truthful and said no, than why did he agree to come?--and if he lied and said yes, then he was a liar. So, he opted for a third option.

"Like your aunt, it's been a long time since I left the village," He says. It isn't a lie but neither was it an answer to the question. Ame frowns but before he could say something--if anything at all--there is static as the train's speaker system crackles to life.

"Now Approaching: Konoha Station. Repeating: Konoha Station."

"Father said he'd meet us at the station," Ame says once the announcement was over.

Hearing this, all Deidara felt was dread. They were here and he'd have to be face-to-face with Itachi again. Not him but also Sasuke and a lot of other people which hated the blonde. This was going to be the worse holiday of his life.

[reddawnmultimuse]

. continued from this | @musesofchaos [ sasori ]

"O-Oh..." Wait, Sasori was married? And to Orochimaru!? Deidara had no idea. Though, he hadn't seen his ex-partner for...ever. Forever--and a half. Knowing someone like Sasori was married while Deidara himself couldn't get a date--excuse him while he goes and has a midlife crisis.

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Really? You fuck me?" Was Itachi's comment a bit smug.

"Fuck you, Uchiha! It was a hypothetical question, hn! And I don't mean fuck you, I mean fuck you!"

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Tch, if love is stealing hair ties and glitterbombing each other, then love is boring, hn." Deidara says, as if not so jealous.

[reddawnmultimuse]

someone wants to see deidara stuffed so fat with cum that he waddles instead of walks, though whether that's from how hard he's been railed, or for how full he is, is up to debate~...

Holy hell, he's dying. His face is burning like the sun, and he can smell the blood of an impending nosebleed. Deidara doesn't know who is sending these, but whoever it is, they know how to get him so hot and bothered. Rest in peace his pants--and underwear--and the floor, too. He needs a shower, an ice, cold shower. His handmouths were going to get exercise tonight.

[reddawnmultimuse]

I want Deidara bound and begging for more, crying from overstimulation as his ass is roughly pounded into. Have him writher under while it becomes to much as a hand fingers his pussy at the same time. Forcing orgasm after orgasm without stopping.

"I don't--pfft. Pfft! This is...n-not sexy at all, hn. I...i-is it hot in here? I-It must be hot in here. N-Not because of this, just...it's summer, ok!? I'm not used to the heat!"

[reddawnmultimuse]

what kind of catharsis do you need?

freedom

You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders, haven't you. It's okay to put the burden down, stretch your legs -- everything won't fall apart if you just take a second to breathe. Go for a late night drive with the windows down and the radio up. Howl at the moon. Break something. You earned it.

Stolen from: @historias-multorum

Tagging: Everyone.

[reddawnmultimuse]

Magic!anon! For the next 12 asks the Akatsuki can only talk in impressions of each other's voices.

"What does that mean, hn?" Deidara asks, looking at the mysterious note. "Wait...what's wrong with my voice?" Had it gotten...deeper? He always had a deep voice, but now it was very deep. It kinda reminded him of...Kakuzu? Oh...now he understands.

magic!anon [ 1/12 ]

[reddawnmultimuse]

(deidara) they have to have their own muscular system. And if theres teeth that means they must have some kind of root to them! Oh oh did your hands have to go through the baby tooth stage too??? That must have been really inconvenient for you if they diiiiiddd heheh

"W-Well, yes. They have muscles and roots, hn. I have to take care of them because they can get cavities or rot like normal teeth. They had baby teeth, too. But, it just meant I got twice as much money from the tooth fairy!" He was very proud of that fact. It funded his clay purchases as a child.

[reddawnmultimuse]

(deidara) kay so do his mouth hands have their own respiratory system?? Are there like. Tiny lugs somewhere in his arms???? Can he breathe out of them??? Does he need multiple hearts to make that work??? Id love to cut him open and see..

"W-What!? What are you on about, hn? Cutting me open!? That's not how this works; that's not how any of this works! My handmouths don't breathe o-or hearts! I'm not Kakuzu! They're just mouths! I can't even taste with them! What is going on!?"

[reddawnmultimuse]

Deidara, hey hey. How long does your hair care routine take?

"If you ask Sasori-no-Danna: 'too fucking long'."

[reddawnmultimuse]

. continued from this | @yukixxnoxxtsubasa--Sasori

"Oh, I'm sorry, hn. I didn't know I had to tell my sister not to ask you about your wooden penis!"