#....... anyway I'M fine : ) this reflects nothing I'm sure haha : )

[blujayonthewing]

..... not me realizing almost none of my characters have anyone they feel like they can talk to and confide in about their own problems.....

[littlebeluu]

Hi! Hope you're day is going well :)

If it's okay I'd like to request smth for marc, if not just ignore this haha. I actually have a few ideas but just pick the one you like the most :)

1. It's kinda similar to the one you already wrote I guess but reader being insecure cos shes not as conventionally attractive as other wags, like she's not ugly but she's not a model either yk? Maybe also like people online hating on her body and/or weight and she doesn't wanna make a big deal out of it but marc notices and like reassures her and stuff (also in my head, reader is like a really private person who doesnt like a lot of attention, has her social media accounts on private and doesn't post anything except a handful of stories every now and then but that's obvi just me, doesn't have to be like that)

2. Marc reaching reader catalan (in my mind reader can already speak Spanish but that's not a must obvi)

3. Marc teaching reader football and she's just really bad at it haha idk I think it could be cute

4. Height difference (I'm 5'3 haha so this is really a self insert) like maybe reader wearing his clothes for the first time and they're so adorably oversized on her or like just anything about height difference really :)

You can obviously change stuff about the requests if there's anything you don't feel comfortable with or don't like, I don't mind. Sorry if it's too much stuff at once btw, I'm not really good at writing this kinda stuff.

Thanks so much in advance already, I hope you have an amazing day (or night, depending when you're reading this haha)

I'll do other ones too 🫶🏻

I might have some trouble to do the second one cause I also don't speak catalán but I'll try anyway.

"Insecure"

marc guiu x female reader

warnings: none

The car engine hummed softly as Marc and I settled into our seats after training. Our eyes met in the rearview mirror, and I felt a flutter in my chest. Despite the hours apart, his presence still had that effect on me.

"Hey," Marc greeted, his voice warm but tinged with concern.

"Hey," I responded, trying to muster enthusiasm.

Marc's brow furrowed as he studied my reflection. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, forcing a smile. "Yes."

His eyes narrowed, unconvinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

Marc sighed, reaching for the radio. As music filled the car, we drove in silence, the tension palpable. Every few minutes, I caught him glancing at me, worry etched on his face.

"I'm fine," I assured him, though the words felt hollow.

"You're lying," he said softly, his voice a mixture of hurt and frustration.

I hesitated, torn between protecting him from my insecurities and the need to be honest. "It's just..."

"Tell me," he encouraged, his tone gentler now.

"Why do you think I'm upset?" I deflected, buying time.

Marc's eyes softened as he looked at me. "I don't know, but I've noticed you haven't really smiled today. Not your genuine smile, anyway."

"Of course I did," I protested weakly.

"No," he shook his head. "I know you better than anyone else. I can tell when you're feeling down, even if you don't say anything."

His words hung in the air as I struggled to find my voice.

"What's wrong, babe?" Marc pressed, his concern evident. "You're going to tell me, or..." He trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

I took a deep breath, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "I'm sorry. It's nothing important."

"It must be something if your smile hasn't been genuine in the past 24 hours."

"Yeah, well..."

"Just say whatever it is," he urged, his voice a mixture of frustration and worry.

"Honestly? People have been saying horrible things about me lately," I admitted, my voice cracking.

Marc's expression darkened. "What? Who?"

"It's okay," I tried to reassure him, wiping away a stray tear. "Really. Just forget about it."

"No," Marc insisted, pulling the car over to the side of the road. He turned to face me fully. "What happened?"

I hesitated, feeling foolish. "It's stupid."

"Just tell me," he pleaded, taking my hand in his.

"Your teammates' girlfriends posted photos with me yesterday," I began, my voice barely audible.

"And?"

"Everyone's saying horrible stuff. Like... like I'm the ugliest and fattest girlfriend."

Marc's face contorted with anger and disbelief. "What? Who's saying this?"

"People online," I mumbled, ashamed of how much it affected me.

"So nobody real?" he asked, his tone softening.

"Well, they could actually exist somewhere," I argued weakly.

"Don't even joke around," Marc frowned. "They don't deserve any importance. You shouldn't read comments under their posts anyway."

I sighed, looking out the window. "I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I can't help it. It's like picking at a scab - you know it's bad for you, but you do it anyway."

Marc's expression softened with understanding. "I get it, but those comments are toxic. They're not worth your time or energy."

"You're right," I admitted, turning back to face him. "I just wish I could stop caring what others think."

Marc reached over and squeezed my hand. "It's not easy, but we'll work on it together. Your worth isn't determined by strangers on the internet."

I took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable. "I guess sometimes those words hurt more than others. Like... maybe I wish I had more confidence. Being known is so overwhelming, and I wish I knew how to get over myself. I guess... I envy the confidence of other girls I meet."

Marc's eyes filled with understanding and love. "You're not ugly nor fat, Y/n. You're beautiful, inside and out."

"I didn't say I was, people said it," I protested weakly.

"But you think it," he said softly, his thumb tracing circles on my hand.

"No," I lied, unable to meet his gaze.

Marc cupped my face gently, forcing me to look at him. "Tell me something, Y/n. When was the last time you read something nice?"

I felt a rush of guilt for worrying him. "Well today, you told me something nice this morning. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like such a baby."

"Stop apologizing," he said firmly. "You're beautiful, and I'm so lucky to be your boyfriend. But more than that, you're kind, intelligent, and strong. Those people online? They don't know you. They don't see how you light up a room, how you make everyone around you feel special."

Tears spilled down my cheeks as Marc's words washed over me. He pulled me into a tight embrace, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair. "Every part of you. And I promise, we'll work on building your confidence together. You don't have to face this alone”

As we sat there, wrapped in each other's arms, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The cruel words of strangers seemed to fade away, replaced by the warmth of Marc's love and support.

"Thank you," I murmured, pulling back to meet his gaze. This time, my smile was genuine.

Marc leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a soft, tender kiss. It was gentle and reassuring, conveying all the love and support he had for me. As we parted, he rested his forehead against mine, our breaths mingling.

I reached up, running my fingers through his hair before pulling him in for another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate. When we finally broke apart, we were both slightly breathless.

Marc started the car again, but before pulling back onto the road, he turned to me with a mischievous grin. "Now, how about we go get some ice cream and plot our revenge on those haters"

I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days. "Ice cream, yes. Revenge... maybe we'll save that for another day."

As we drove off, hand in hand, I realized that while I couldn't control what others said about me, I could choose to surround myself with love and positivity. And with Marc by my side, I felt ready to face whatever challenges came our way.

Before we reached the ice cream shop, Marc pulled over once more. He cupped my face gently and gave me one last, lingering kiss. "You're beautiful," he murmured against my lips. "Inside and out. Don't ever forget that."

I smiled into the kiss, feeling truly loved and cherished. With Marc's support and these tender moments, I knew I could overcome any insecurity. We drove on, looking forward to our ice cream date, our hands intertwined and hearts full of love.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you had a good week! I hope you have a nice trip with your family and some down time in the upcoming week. Things are mostly fine..I just have to spend time doing a lot of spring cleaning that sometimes overwhelms me. I haven't had time to watch Poor Things or eras yet but will totally tell you what I think when I do. I'm really hoping by the end of this weekend. I've also heard mixed things and it might not be my kind of movie either but I will watch it for her and since it was up for awards. I saw it being compared to Barbie cuz the plot is kinda similar but it's also probably a lot weirder lol. Even if I end up not liking it, I think her performance can make up for that.

I don't really know because she didn't have a lot of singing as Gretchen in the movie or much part at all and I thought what's wrong with me was one of the most awkward parts of the movie besides Stupid with Love lol. But her voice is beautiful and probably better than or for Cady. I totally agree about It Roars! Changing her opening song added nothing..and she really did just seem like a new student, not even homeschooled really. They did try to show some of her awkwardness though. I honestly don't remember the actual scene in the musical for More is Better but I guess I agree cuz she didn't really have a reflection type moment at all, and all her relationships or friendships didn't seem as genuine. So basically the mathletes song would not have made sense in the movie. Like we didn't get to see her growth as the main character..I think Janis and Regina's changes were felt more..idk? So it's just kinda there for me too since the movie and musical already exist. But people seem to still like it, even as a musical or remake, so it's not totally bad. Haha I can't comment cuz that was my first introduction to Les Mis and so were a lot of other movie musicals, like Hairspray or Sweeney Todd. But I didn't even like Les Mis when I first watched it..I thought it was long and boring...l so I will say opinions can change haha.

Well I never had the chance to order and was able to pick the one I wanted since they were all already announced but I agree with your points. Usually I just wait until they're all announced anyway and I did that with 1989 too. I think she specifically wanted something new to announce at every country tour stop though so it kinda makes sense to spread it out. She announced Midnights and 1989 all at once I think...or at least we knew how many there were beforehand. This time I wasn't sure cuz I thought maybe there would only be two bonus tracks at first, similar to Evermore. So that makes it hard because we have to pick the version based on a song we haven't even heard yet. That's why I went with the cover I liked best, the Albatross and I never really play my vinyls anyway lol. I'm honestly still not sure what to think of these bonus tracks yet..like if they're all connected in some way like different endings like Folklore and Evermore or if it's more like 3AM..and they are just extras that didn't fit the album. They all have "the" in the title and seem pretty similar based on the concepts, which is almost like old fashioned words or phrases. It just gives me that vibe. but it also bothers me we won't get to hear them with the rest of the album on a first listen and how the vinyl will be missing other songs. But I think other artists do it and some people like the special edition vibe of each one.

Anyway the explicit tracks are the tortured poets department, Down Bad, But Daddy I Love Him, Florida, loml, I can do it with a broken heart, and the smallest man who ever lived. So I was already interested in the title track but this made me more interested since those are always my favorites. I also think the song will set the tone of the album maybe, like Fearless and Red in a way. Or it might be a single..but if it is, I would expect it to be similar to Cardigan in a way. A song I love with a lot of metaphors or her best lyrics. I also think the song could be about her career or how she uses writing songs to get through her life. But I also saw someone say it could be about how her and Joe loved being sad writing sad songs together so maybe it's a bad thing and a metaphor for their relationship or breakup. Either of these could be interesting to me! So it's hard to imagine her using harsh language for this song so I would guess it's minor. What do you think? I haven't thought much about Down Bad as a song..lol but maybe she will twist the phrase and what we would usually think it means? It's one of the ones that don't stand out to me so I guess this makes me more curious. But Daddy I love Him didn't shock me cuz it's very Lana. loml could be the same idea of down bad and she's changing the phrase, or the title is misleading. I feel like it's something she would do and that was one of the songs I was already excited for and same with Florida. I can do it with a broken heart also seems like one that will have minimal language to me but maybe i'm wrong. It wouldn't surprise me if she says fuck in smallest man who ever lived though. I think maybe two of these songs might say the f word and that's it. It seems to be the pattern from her last few albums. Anyway I can send you more of my thoughts on other songs later closer to the album coming out. But omg about rep! Do you still like some songs? I totally get it if it's not your vibe..but I personally love it. Maybe the rerecording will make you.like it hopefully. I just think it's one of her albums that I like as the full album..more than individual songs. I think half of this album seems like it could be kinda similar to rep almost? Like telling a full story in a way chronologically possibly in the way that rep does..the same way it kinda told the beginning of the relationship. Aww I hope you still have fun and enjoy listening to the new album when you come back! My sister and I started writing our thoughts while we listen to each song on texts to each other so we can remember our first impressions and we do it for albums we are really excited for!

We did it for the last few but sometimes like with the Kacey or Bleachers one there's not a lot to say. For Taylor, I like to get my first listen in and then write my thoughts so I'm not distracted but sometimes I can't always remember certain lyrics that stood out. It's kinda fun to look back at reactions and see which ones stood out and also sometimes helps keep track of which song is which or which ones we liked. My favorites usually stay the same but with Midnights there was so many i thought was just okay at first, like you're on your own kid or Antihero. What are you hoping to get at record store day?

I would definitely recommend the Eternal Sunshine movie! It kinda reminds me of a more weird kinda bleak version of 500 days of summer if you've seen that. But the movie is about erasing all of your memories and a person from your mind which was the concept of the song but didn't fit the whole album to me.

Well twenty one pilots has another new song and video out and I love it! They also announced their tour so that gives me something to look forward to. You can always listen to it or their other albums if you want and see what you think. Even if you play the two new songs, it shows they can do different genres and different sides to their music lol. I also spent the week listening to Beyonce's albums and I realized that I love when artists can do different genres. It shows their creativity and artistry and how much they care about music. I definitely felt that with her new album! It's pretty long but it was new and different for her and I admire how she made her version of country. It was also kinda split into sections with radio interludes. I only heard it once but I'm excited to listen to it again. I think I liked it more than my first listen of Renaissance actually and it has more slow songs and vocals so you might enjoy it! My favorites were Bodyguard, Alligator Tears, Levi's Jeans, Riverdance, and Hands II Heaven I but just on the first listen. I would also recommend Soccer Mommy and Best Coast which are alternative singer songwriters pretty similar to Paramore if you need more recommendations! don't worry about replying, since this ask got really long. I hope you have a good weekend enjoying time with family.

helloooo friend!! i hope you've been doing well 🤍 so sorry this has been so delayed 🤍

how have things been for you? what have you been up to? have you been listening to anything new? i've been essentially looping either cast recordings, schmigadoon (which i finally watched yesterday + today), espresso by sabrina carpenter & good luck babe by chappell roan. i listened to the new maggie rogers once and liked it, same with the new lizzy mcalpine, but haven't had the brain capacity to properly listen and learn lyrics and all that yet!

i haven't really done album of the day in like three weeks... oops? i think it started to feel more like a chore than something i was doing for fun. and that was also what happened to my hobonichi, but i've also been sick + out of town so i'm giving myself some slack there :( i feel like every time i talk to you i am sick and i'm sorry i keep complaining about it!!

i've always loved les mis, but i think i was predisposed to do so! i've only seen the sweeney film, and until recently haven't really been interested in it but i might hunt down a bootleg and see if i like it... we'll see. have we talked about schmigadoon yet? i feel like we have, but i can't remember. i'm currently sick (what else is new) which is why i finally sat down and watched schmigadoon — i might finally watch some bootlegs i've been meaning to watch for ages too.

happy tortured poets release week!! i'm still feeling a bit detached from the album and release week, but i'm excited to talk to you about it and hear your thoughts/your favorite songs! i saw the songwriter credit list came out today; i don't think my opinions on what songs i'm most intrigued by has changed, but i'm curious if yours has based on who worked on what!

i am no longer doing record store day since i'm sick :((((( but i'm hoping that a friend will be able to pick up a record or two for me, and maybe i'll luck out trying to hunt things down online the next day!

i listened to the new beyonce album while i was on vacation! i really liked it and i think the radio interludes were really cool! i'll have to do a couple more listens until i can pick a favorite though!!

did you get tickets to the 21p tour? i hope you did! 🤍 i'm so sorry this is short!! i have not been feeling well but i wanted to reply to this before it got even longer <3333 love you!

[silverskye13]

"I'm telling you Doc, one minute we're just talking and making dye, and everything is normal, and then suddenly the sky turns black and a fell wind picks up-- it was scary!"

"Mm-hmm."

"And then get this my dude, Wels's voice gets all twisted and sinister, and he starts quoting the Red King. He wasn't even in Third Life!"

"Sounds spooky - hold this please?"

Ren took hold of the wrench Doc offered to him begrudgingly. He'd been busy pacing and talking and now he was being forced to stand still. Not that he was nervous, or needed the nervous habit of pacing in circles. It's just… well it sure made talking about this easier. It made it feel a little less like he was talking about problems and more like he was just… talking. Which was silly anyway since he wasn’t talking about problems, not really. This wasn’t a problem. It was just one weird, unsettling thing that happened. That was Hermitcraft for you. Weird unsettling things happened all the time, and normally they just ran off his shoulders like water. This shouldn’t be bothering him - it wasn’t bothering him. He was absolutely, completely unbothered. So he was perfectly fine to stand there holding Doc’s wrench, waiting patiently to hand it back to him.

“Was that all that happened?” Doc prompted him from the underside of the redstone machine he was working on. Ren had been too definitely-not-unsettled to ask him what it was. It seemed to be on the more mundane side of Doc’s contraptions. 

“Oh, well Welsknight’s voice sounded kinda funny.”

“Funny like haha funny, or funny like my-friend-just-got-possessed funny?”

“Definitely the second one.”

“Was The Entity nearby?”

“Doc.”

“What?” Ren couldn’t see Doc’s expression underneath the piston structure Doc was working under, but he could recognize the smile in his voice. “It’s not like possession is exactly new around here. Me and you spent ahm… two weeks? Possessed? Last season.”

“Right.”

“And then you and Grimdog were very possession-y.”

“Well… yeah I guess.”

Doc’s hand emerged from the machine, and Ren handed him back the wrench. A loud bang reverberated from underneath Doc’s machine where he banged it against something, and Ren ducked down to make sure nothing was broken. The banging came again, more insistent this time.  Ren chuckled. “You’ve got a hammer, my dude.”

“Why use a hammer when a wrench will work just fine?”

“Doc, you’re insane.” Ren shook his head chastisingly, as if Doc could see it beneath the mechanics. "Give me the dang wrench."

The wrench came sliding out from underneath the machine with a long metallic ring. “The hammer is in the--”

“I know where your toolbox is, brother.” Ren rolled his eyes and grabbed up the wrench. It was one of the long ones he’d seen people in cartoons use as weapons, and as such was much heavier than he figured it would be when he picked it up. Ren hefted it onto his shoulder with a grunt, marveled for a moment about how in the world Doc had pushed it out to him so easily, and meandered over to Doc’s toolbox. He dropped the wrench and shuffled through the tools, frowning in quiet puzzlement when no hammer magically appeared on the workbench anywhere.

“The hammer is in the kitchen,” Doc called, his voice grinning. 

“Why is it in the kitchen?”

“D’you ever just get the desire to know how the microwave works?”

“So you took a hammer to it?”

There was a pause that matched the convenient length for a shrug. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well now I know why you keep asking when the next braai is,” Ren sighed. “I’ll be right back.”

Doc’s laughter followed him into the house, where the closed walls cut it off abruptly. It was a nice build, one of Doc’s ecopunk prototypes, and the sandstone walls felt warm with seeping sunlight. Ren passed the long mirror on the way to the kitchen, giving his reflection a sidelong glance as he walked. Once, one of Doc’s prototype machines had caught fire while he was taking a break to make some lunch. The machine had been ruined, as had several hours of work on a uniquely diagonaled roof. Ever since then, if his house had a connecting workshop, Doc put in a set of mirrors that let him look into the workshop. Ren thought it was kinda creepy in a vaguely superstitious way. Being able to see so much of the house meant no corner was truly blind, and therefore everything could be a threat if you squinted at it hard enough. He was waiting for the day he’d walk in from Doc’s workshop only to see that six rooms over some axe-wielding murderer was spying on him. 

The mirrors did, however, show Ren where the hammer was in the kitchen, along with the rather sad looking scraps of Doc’s microwave. Ren let out a disdainful tsk! at the mess on the counter, shrugged, and made his way back towards the workshop. He passed one mirror that glanced between the kitchen, the living room, and the workshop, and eyed it suspiciously, searching the corners of Doc’s house. He walked out of its view, then passed in front of the long mirror facing Doc’s workshop.

Ren froze.

The reflection he was looking at wasn’t him. 

Or, well, it was him, but it was a him that was a few inches taller with gray skin and cheekbones gaunt and sharp enough to sharpen a knife on. He was giving a tight-lipped scowl, even though Ren could definitely feel his jaw hanging open. The mirrored image of himself had its ears pinned back much like Ren’s, but their backward turn much more reflected the bristling of an angry wolf, and much less his own startled-dog response. There was a mantle of fur around his shoulders, a vicious ax scar still bleeding in places on his neck, and his crown, an unpolished and ruddy gold, sunk into his face just beneath his eyes, blinding him. The twisted metal was so tight where it rested, beads of blood trickled down the bridge of his nose and where the crown dug into his temples. 

Ren, understandably, gaped at the reflection peering back at him. His heart jumped in his chest, and the hair on the back of his neck bristled. The fur on the mantled cloak bristled in tandem. Ren blinked, and he swallowed, and watched his adam’s apple bob just above the ax scar.

“D… Doc?” Ren stammered, his throat suddenly dry. His reflection mirrored him perfectly, as it should, and the teeth of his reflection looked filed to points. “Wh… what the hell is up with your mirrors, dude?”

Ren slowly leaned away from the mirror, looking around the corner to the one he’d passed in the kitchen. His reflection there was perfectly normal, if not a little pale from the scare. Ren leaned back again, and the mirror in front of him was unchanged -- twisted golden crown and all. Ren squinted - a motion he could only see his reflection mirror in the way his nose scrunched and the crown sank on his brown - and he hesitantly held up his hand. The claws mirrored back at him were just as vicious as the teeth, fingertips coated in blood like he was fresh off of slaughtering something.

“Jeez.”

The word sounded weird when his reflection looked so intimidating. He reached his hand forward to touch the glass. The hand that mirrored his moved to match - and then lurched forward. Ren’s startled gasp smothered in his throat as the bloody hand reached through the mirror to wrap around his throat. It dragged him towards the mirror, and in his rush to brace himself against the mirror’s frame, he dropped the hammer with a loud clatter.

“What’s the matter, laddie,” The Red King growled, “I’ve not scared ye, have I?”

Ren wanted to quip something back, but his mind had gone blank in the wake of a wave of fear - and the knuckle of The Red King’s thumb was currently braced against his windpipe, making it incredibly hard to breathe. He pulled Ren closer to the mirror, like he intended to pull him inside, or crush him against the glass, or whatever it was evil doubles grabbing you through a mirror did once they’d grabbed you. Ren’s arms shook as he tried to pull away, but it felt like trying to drag a wall. The Red King’s grip was a vice, and he held Ren undaunted.

“I find it funny, ye have yer Wels speak my likeness and yet yer still surprised when I answer your call.” Their faces were so close, Ren should be able to feel The Red King’s breath on his face, but he can’t. It’s a dumb thing to notice, especially when he should be focusing on breathing, or breaking free, or any other number of more important things, but that’s what his frantic mind latches onto. The glass doesn’t even fog when The Red King speaks, even though Ren can feel the growl of his voice in the center of his chest. “Ye would have known of me soon enough. I am not a coward who waits on his enemy to strike first. I have tasted death once lad, and I will not taste it again o’er the likes of ye.”

Ren wheezes a breath and tries to stammer something. Something along the lines of I don’t know what you’re talking about or this doesn’t seem like a fair fight or let’s talk about this but he can’t breathe past The Red King’s grip hardly at all. Spots are starting to swim in his vision like fireflies, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears and feel it harsh against The Red King’s grip, and his arms are starting to feel like rubber.

Doc’s hand, the angry-looking redstone and metal one, clamped down on The Red King’s wrist. His breath was a hiss, as was every gear and servo and circuit in his arm as he said, “Let him go, and I won’t snap your arm in half.”

Ren’s vision was swimming, more phosphorescent dots than vision, but he could still see enough to watch The Red King grin.

“Ye always did surround yerself with strong people, Ren. Stronger than ye ever were.”

The Red King pulled, and one of Ren’s arms buckled, and his face pressed dangerously close to the mirror before Doc managed to recover and pull back. He braced his shoulder against the wall and swore.

“But ye made me stronger, didn’t ye laddie? Strong enough to fight yer battles for ye. Strong enough to live, so ye could die and abandon yer army to their fate.”

Ren’s head was swimming. He managed to grunt through gritted teeth, “Doc-- the glass--!”

His vision swam dark and his grip slipped at the same time the mirror shattered. The hand on his throat vanished, and Ren gasped in a breath of air that was nearly kicked out of him again as he and Doc fell backwards. They landed heavy against the wall behind them and slumped to the floor, Ren cushioned against Doc the whole way down as he focused on gasping and breathing. His vision cleared of its dancing lights, but the phantom of the grip on his neck ached. In front of him, the mirror dripped red down its fractured surface, and Ren was scared for a moment that The Red King had found some horrific way to crawl through the cracks. Until he realized Doc’s hand wrapped around him, the organic one, the one he’d used to punch the mirror, was bleeding from a dozen fresh cuts.

“I meant - gasp - I meant th-the hammer - gasp - m-my dude.”

“Ah,” Doc said flatly, flexing his hand. Something popped worryingly, and Ren figured it was broken somewhere. “I panicked.”

“That’s… fair.”

“Out of all the hels,” Doc gulped shakily, “yours had to be the one stronger than my redstone arm. I was saving that line for something badass.”

Ren laughed, and it wheezed in a ragged mess through his sore throat. “It was still kind of badass.”

“It wasn’t, but thanks.”

Ren slipped his arms around Doc’s chest, because he kind of needed a hug right now and they were already halfway there anyway, what with him landing basically in Doc’s lap. He was trying not to hyperventilate, because the panic was starting to set in, and he thought it was already hard enough to breathe anyway. One of the shards of the broken mirror was dangerously close to his foot, and Ren kicked it away, suddenly scared The Red King would find a way to crawl out of it. Doc hugged him back with all the fervor of someone who was thinking way too hard about what might have happened if he’d been a few seconds slower coming down the hallway.

When they recovered, Doc took down all the mirrors in his house while Ren waited in the garage, trying not to glance his reflection in any of the windows.

[ @countthelions I've once again infected a good idea with my drama but this is inspired by your comments today ]

[darkacademicfrom2021]

I have surched high and low, looking for a writer that had open requests and has watched the loki series! And finally! My journey has come to and end!!

Okay so I got this story idea for loki and I don't have the writing capability to do it myself. But here's my idea/requests:

So loki and mobius are hanging out, chilling, doing whatever where there's nothing going on so they are just sitting and talking, idk. But somehow they talk about relationships. And loki starts talking about how he was almost married( to reader), but they where attacked and they never maid it to the carimony part where they see each other and all that. Loki says somthing about wishing to see reader in their wedding outfit. And so mobius feels bad and dose just thay for loki and opens a time portal to goo see the reader before the attack.

Okay that was alot I'm sorry haha 😅

But that's been swimming in my head and I would love to see how someone would write it. If you don't wanna write it I totally get it. Hope you have a good day!

“Tonight was too long ago”.

Pairing: Loki x gn!reader (asgardian!reader)

Word count: 2.8K

Warnings: angst with bittersweet ending, major character death, mentions of vomit and murder.

A/N: I’m back at the angst :) sorry I guess. I’m not on vacation but I’m avoiding my responsibilities like a champ.

Loki sighed, staring at his reflection in the cold water. The moonlight shone against his skin, the crystal water shaping the lights over his sharp features. They’ve been talking about many things by now —pretending like Mobius hadn’t watched his entire life already. Mobius knew Loki enjoyed talking about his interests and experiences, even if Mobius had already heard them before.

But there was one thing —one huge thing— Loki had never talked about. Many years of friendship, and Loki wasn’t able to let those words slip off his mouth. He wouldn’t allow it.

What if he let them get out of his chest, and they wouldn’t come back ever again?

They wouldn’t come back, he was sure. And because he was sure, he let them inside for as long as he could.

“Your mother”, he said. Loki had to tear his gaze away from the water, to listen carefully. Mobius swallowed hard, like the words weighed on his tongue. “I’m sorry about what I’ve said before”.

“Oh, Moby Dick”, chuckled Loki, easing his tension. “You’ve apologized a hundred times already. I get it. You didn’t mean it. It’s fine, I’m familiar with the concept of saying the wrong things out of fear”.

“Hey, it wasn’t fear”, said Mobius, lightly punching his shoulder. “And don’t call me that. I know you said it was from a book, but you’re calling me a…”.

“If you hear that title and immediately think about a man’s groin, then I think that’s your issue, not mine”.

“Anyway”, he brushed him off with a laugh. “I feel like I need to repeat it, because you seem… sad. And, you know, it wasn’t your fault”.

“Oh, don’t do that”.

“What?”, he feigned innocence. Loki sighed.

“Touching that subject, thinking you’ll finally get me to talk about what we both already know”.

“I’m… I’m sorry”.

“Yes, you say that a lot”.

“I think you need a friend, right now”.

“I have a friend”.

“Yes, that’s why I’m bringing this subject up. You’ve… Loki, you’ve gone from one chaotic situation to another. Your relationships, all along your life, sucked. I don’t mean to be intrusive, or meddly, but… I care about what you’re not saying. It will haunt you down until you can’t bear it anymore”.

Loki took in a sharp breath, feeling the tears stinging on the corner of his eye, threatening to fall. No —push them back. They can’t get out.

“You know all about my relationships. Why listen to them again, anyway?”.

Mobius began fidgeting with his tempad. Loki searched through his pockets, looking for a pen, anything he could use to keep his hands occupied with a mindless task to avoid going straight to cover his face and allow himself to cry —to finally cry.

It’s been so long.

“Fine, it’s fine. Don’t talk about them. Talk… about the surroundings. How was your family back then?”.

Loki closed his eyes and went back to Asgard. In his mind, it was all the same as it had been for millenias. Now, Asgard was New Asgard, and his brother ruled it from Earth. But, there was a time where the Avengers weren’t there yet, and it all was just the two of them against the realms.

Loki remembers quite vividly, actually. He remembers Thor training against him as if his life depended on it. He remembers Sif having to stop the battle, before Thor would break his bones. Loki remembers himself to be the weaker one, always the weaker one.

He remembers you, by Sif’s side, too. He pushed the thought away and flinched. He didn’t say it out loud, but Mobius knew it was about you. Loki’s mood would change every time your face roamed around his mind.

He remembers stealing bread and fruit from the kitchens to go out on picnics. He remembers your laughter —lyrical, melodic, armonious. He wanted to drown on you. And, by remembering you, he wanted to drown on that same lake he was staring at.

He remembers Frigga’s words, always so on point, always so true.

Loki glanced over to Mobius, without wanting to talk about it. But he did.

“My mother had always been really perspicacious about my relationships. Whether friendships, family, or… other things”.

“Frigga has a good reputation for being clever and insightful”, added Mobius. Loki nodded.

“She also had visions about that night”.

Mobius didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to mess it up.

“You know, I regret many things about it. I regret… firstly, that it wasn’t me. It should’ve been me”, he whispers. Mobius wanted to tell him it wasn’t, but it would be in vain. Nothing he could say could make Loki change his mind about it. “It should’ve been me, and they should’ve been safe. I could’ve assured their safety, but… I guess I didn’t”.

“Why?”.

“Why, you ask? Haven’t you seen it?”.

Mobius, once again, fell silent.

“I wanted to see them”, he whispers, “in their wedding outfit”.

“In their… wedding outfit?”.

“We were about to get married, you know that”, he said, obliviously. Mobius denied with his head. “How could you not know it?”.

“I know about the accident”.

“The attack, you mean”, he corrected, sharp as only you would get him.

“The attack, yes. Sorry”.

“We were going to get married, and then… we didn’t”.

The events came to Loki violently. So quickly, he felt himself about to contour in pain and vomit. He came back to his senses shortly after, but as he opened his eyes, he was back again on this recurrent flashback —this recurrent nightmare.

You stood in front of him. You were yelling —yelling at him, to him, because of him. He rolled his eyes at that comment, he remembers. He shouldn’t have, he thought, looking back at it. He shouldn’t have pretended like he didn’t care, like he was detached from the emotions you were accusing him of having.

“Loki”.

“Yes, Mobile Phone”.

“Stop it. Where are you?”.

“In my head, I guess”.

“Come back”.

Loki opened his eyes.

“I don’t want to go there, ever again”.

“You were talking about a wedding outfit”.

“I regret not… not seeing them on it. It was my fault, after all”.

“It wasn’t your fault, Loki”.

“It was”.

“I can help you”.

“I’m helpless, and they’s gone”.

Mobius smiled gently at him, with a hand on his shoulder. He pointed at the tempad on his hand. Loki opened his mouth widely, about to retort. He couldn’t.

“They’s gone. But you can visit all you want”.

“That’s insane. They deserve to be on their own timeline, without disruptions”.

“I’m not saying you’d go there to avoid the attack from happening. I’m saying you could go… see them in their little outfit. Have a bit of harmless fun".

Loki thought about it.

"If… if I can go there, and replace myself from that moment, and then come back… that wouldn't make much of a mess, right?".

"Are you thinking of…?".

"Just… getting things right. I don't want them to go with that last memory from me".

Mobius understood. Nodding, he opened a portal with the tempad and soon, Loki was on his feet about to walk through it.

He stopped before going in. He looked down at himself and shook his shoulders, dressing in his black and dark green suit —the one he intended to marry in. He arranged his hair in a low man bun and took his nose piercing off, knowing at the time he didn't have it on. He then looked at Mobius, as if looking for approval. He nodded and patted his shoulder.

"Have fun", he smiled gently.

"Will do", joked Loki, knowing this would end up in tears. He fixed his posture, and, with a deep breath, he submerged himself into the past.

He was in the room, too. The Loki from that time, grumpy and arms crossed waiting for the stupid fight to come, looked up at him bewildered. Before he could do anything, Loki covered his mouth and kicked him out of the timeline, closing the portal behind him. Mobius gestured at him that he'd talk him down and explain, and they could delete his memory after that.

Loki roamed around his old room in Asgard. The palace that was now in ruins, held so tightly and in place, as if it wouldn't fall by anything —not even a gigantic fire monster, predicted to be the destroyer of the realm. He walked to his bed, and sat on your side, passing a hand through the silky sheets. It was wrinkly, and you had just gotten off bed. He was sure you were looking for him. You'd come through that door any second now.

"Loki!", you walked in, a frown painted across your red face. He felt his heart on his throat. There you were. It was really you. He stood in shock, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes unable to tear from you. You walked up to him and seemed to be even more upset —now that he wasn't even acknowledging you were mad. "Are you out of your mind?! We're one day before the ceremony and you thought best to come up with that? You're a dick. You know that, right? You're an asshole", you said, and he kept staring at you as if you were telling him you loved him. "What's the matter with you?! Why are you looking at me like that?!".

He had to contain every single urge on him to grab you by the shoulders and kiss you deeply, in the way he knew it'd make you weak on the knees and in the way he had missed for so many years. But he pushed it back. He took in a deep breath, again, and grabbed your hands.

"What did I do, love?", he played innocent, as if the mention of his prank wasn't making his heart ache.

"What did… what did you do?! How can you do something like this and forget it the next second! I know I am marrying a trickster but I thought you'd contain yourself for at least one day, to keep my nerves intact!".

He remembered what he did. It was stupid, really. He thought it'd cheer you up, a stupid joke to calm the storm that was on your head the previous days to the wedding. He had turned the ceremony room into a deep-black darkness whole. He had cut off the lights so that the room wouldn't have any lightning whatsoever as soon as someone walked in.

He remembers what he did after that, in the past. He didn't tell you anything, and wanted to surprise you, as an apology, by filling the room with floating candles.

Many people didn't agree with him marrying you. Most of them didn't want Loki to be a best suitor for the throne; and married and living in Asgard —unlike his brother, who's had a come-and-go affair with a midgardian— people would be against him. That's why the attack happened that night.

This time around, he wouldn't waste any time on making you smile. He knew you'd die anyway, he couldn't change that. But he could do all the things he waited for until the ceremony that never happened.

He sat on the bed, eyes still on you, and pushed you closer to him. You relaxed your face, melting at the love on his gaze, and he smiled sadly, yet kindly. You sat on his leg, and he couldn't hold back anymore the urge to sink his nose in your hair, and hug you tightly. You chuckled, and pushed him back.

"I'm still mad at you, mister. Even if you're this adorable".

"I'm so, so sorry, my little darling", he said sincerely —so sincerely, he caught you off guard. He kept saying sorry and kissing your cheeks until you couldn't hold back your laughter anymore. "I promise you, I'll fix it right now. But I want you to be with me. Is that okay?".

"Can't stay away from me even a minute, can't you?", you joked, and he felt a lump on his throat, downing in with a fake laughter.

"I could never".

"Let's go, then".

"In fact, I… I know you'll hate me for this. You're in all your right to say no, but I need to ask you something", he started. He now realized, it didn't matter the clothing. He really just wanted to be with you. But if he could get a glance of what he could've had if destiny hadn't been such a bitch to him… he needed to take the chance. You nodded, and he asked "Do you think you could show me how gorgeous you look in your wedding's attires, my love? Meanwhile I'll prepare the room".

"Ah, you naughty little…", you laughed, and he chuckled and blushed.

"No, no. I meant your ceremony ones! And I'll fix the lights for the thing I screw up. I have a surprise".

"Oh. In that case, yes, I don't see why not".

"I thought you thought it was bad luck".

"Yes, but not the ceremony outfit, more like the… other one".

"Oh, then you should by all means show me that one".

"Sir, you go fix your mess and I'll go get my wedding outfit. We can get messy later", you said, and he chuckled, kind of disappointed that he had to leave before that.

He had to fight with all of his strength to let go of your hug, and go to the ceremony room to set the flying candles around. He waited with impatience until you opened the doors wildly and your eyes gazed dreamily at the room he had prepared. Your face lit up brightly and he… he fell even deeper in love, if such a thing was possible.

You ran up to him and melted into his arms with a smile, and he didn’t stop murmuring how splendid you looked. His last memory of you was a dead body, and now it would be this dreamy and angelic image of you, happy and unpissed at him. He didn’t know how to feel about it. His you, from his timeline, deserved better too. Every you from other timelines deserved better too, he thought, and shook his head as soon as he thought about it —let us enjoy the moment. Let us enjoy it.

He pulled you closer and kissed you just as he wanted to for all of those years. He kissed you and you didn’t let go for a long time after that. He stayed with his hands around you and your head on his chest.

“Your heartbeat is going crazy”, you murmured, and then you realized he was weeping. A few tears stained his reddened cheeks, and you kissed them. “What’s wrong, my love?”.

“Ah, my sweet”, he chuckled through the tears and looked down, not really answering. “Nothing is wrong. I’m overwhelmed with your gorgeousness”

But you had always been almost as perceptive as his own mother. He knew you were aware something was off. Right there, at that moment, you realized that wasn’t your Loki. You closed your eyes and held him closer to you, and he kissed your forehead.

“Was it long ago?”, you asked, knowing the answer. He seemed different from your Loki. More mature, even taller if possible, his hair seemed to be cut in a different culture than Asgard. He had that light on his eyes, that unstoppable desire to be in everything and everywhere possible —almost completely lit off. As if right there and then was the only place he strived to be at that very same moment. As if not even the next day mattered —just you there—just you now.

“Ages”, he mumbled into your hair, smelling you one last time. “I don’t want to let you go”.

“Tomorrow?”.

“Tonight. But tonight… was too long ago. I can’t do anything about it, I wish I could, but I can’t”, he sobbed. You shushed him and cupped his face. He blinked his tears away and smiled at you. “You look magnificent. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you, all of these decades together”.

“Baby, you’ve caused me only happiness”, you said, and kissed him again.

A portal opened at the end of the room, and Mobius with a passed out Loki walked through it. You chuckled.

“I have to go now. So he can have one last time with you, too, alright?”, he whispered against you, still hugging you tightly. “He’s an idiot, but I was too, I suppose. Just, do me a favour, would you?”.

“Yes, my love”.

“Wherever you’ll go… never stop smiling, would you?”.

“I’d never”.

“Don’t forget I love you”.

“And you don’t forget to move on, someday”, you said, gripping tightly to him. It seemed like you already knew your fate would be an inevitable death, even that young, and you seemed more concerned about him than your actual destiny. He kissed you one last time, and walked through the portal with a weight off his shoulders and a better memory of you.

Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @louieboo87 @the-departed-potato , @jesuswasnotawhiteman , @idontknow296 , @beksib , @spythoschei , @geekwritersworld , @whatafuckingdumbass , @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 , @joscelyn02 , @t00-pi , @selfship-mishaps , @sallymagnoliaposts , @deadgirl88 , @theonewiththenerds , @vicmc624 , @spiderlaufeyson @theaudacitytowrite @bi-andready-tocry @alorev @justasmisunderstoodasloki @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @theetoastyghosty @lokiprompts @sarahpaq08 @lostgreekgod

[bookshop]

i recently came across defining draco malfoy (in case you dont remember, its a piece from 2004 on livejournal written for idol-reflection i believe). and can i just say, this is probably my favorite hp essay? i read a lot of hp essays, and love a lot of them (some more now as im desperately searching the internet for the ‘fandom resources’ linked at the bottom, because some of the links are broken).

anyway, you might not see this because it doesnt seem like youve been active in a bit, or maybe youre just not at all interested in harry potter and don’t really care (or maybe youre the wrong person, and are currently Very Confused). but, do you agree with everything you said in your essay, in retrospect? is there anything you would change, given the chance to re-do it? thx <3

Haha, this is actually pretty wild because a) i am the right person and b) i've just in the last 3 weeks kinda fallen into one of those periodic H/D fanfic rereading binges I go into once every 6 or 7 years, so your timing is great.

Back in my HP fandom heyday I also read a lot of HP essays, so i'm really very flattered to get this comment. My essay (which is also on AO3, currently locked to users) was written before book 6, and while for obvious painful reasons i haven't reread it lately and won't be rereading it, i still remember the feeling of reading it for the first time, almost breathless at how much of the fandom's ideas on Draco were being validated through that book. Rereading the essay now, I was spot-on pointing out that "Draco’s biggest moments in the books are all defined by a lack of action," considering his climactic moment is his inability to kill Dumbledore.

It's clear, too, that I gave JKR far more credit for wanting to deconstruct her own established ideas about Slytherin than she deserved; I like many fans was hugely let down by her lack of real engagement in book 7 with the portrayal of Slytherin as the blanket catch-all house for Evil Children, and of course the way she treated Draco in the end was part of that. I still think it's utterly laughable, if not contemptible, that she began the story stating that all four houses needed to unite, and then ended up with every single Slytherin walking out to join Voldemort, lolol fuck her. 😂 I think, for me, that was the single biggest cop-out (among many) in the final book, because she did so much in book 6 to complicate Draco's identity and give him the possibility of redemption only to half-assedly throw it away in book 7, forget about him and every other Slytherin Harry's age, and revert to using him for plot expediencies. Just hugely disappointing.

i'm sure i probably wrote some gushing triumphant meta about draco on my LJ after book 6 came out. In retrospect, i'm not really fond of my general reaction to book 7 — it was posted very soon after i'd finished reading it, and i was running on the fumes of fannish enthusiasm. but i had been yelling for years at that point about JKR's maltreatment of Slytherin, so it occupied a lot of my attention in that review. It still does, honestly; i see Rowling's complete disinterest in deconstructing Slytherin's ideology and place within the rest of the wizarding world — her continuing to frame the entire house as a bunch of racist, power-hungry supremacists, while also still allowing all of the racists to resume their place in society after the war is over as though nothing much had changed — as a huge rosetta stone for what we now know is her larger pernicious position of centrist ambivalence. She was ultimately fine with Draco and his entire house being bigots, because in her ultimate worldview, a little bit of bigotry in the world is inevitable and ineradicable. Why bother trying? Why bother freeing the house elves? Why bother finding one non-racist Slytherin, much less, idk, opening Slytherin to Muggleborns who aren't shamefully hiding their identities? Why bother tearing down and rebuilding when you can just sloppily pave over and call it reformation and change?

Ugh, idk why I'm even bothering trying to explicate the mind of a disgusting bigot. Go read lettered's By the Grace instead of Harry Potter:

“Of course,” Bickford went on, “we will replant.”

“No,” said Kavika, “we won’t. If that tree was a symbol of this institution, does not the fact that a person was trapped inside of it for a millennia suggest that something is deeply troubled within the institution itself? The tree should not be replanted; the rot of it should be remembered and honoured.”

“Reveal will happen soon, and everything will change anyway.” Bickford’s voice was plaintive. “Can we not have just one thing remain the same?”

“No,” said Harry. “Kavika is right. And you’re right as well, Mister Bickford. Everything is changing.”

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 12 - The Development, Pt. II

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: TW!!! Mentions of depression/anxiety, lack of appetite and suicide; jealousy (the reader is Angry™️); talks of (unwanted) pregnancy and miscarriage (cult activities).

Summary: Who would've thought a dinner and a bouquet of flowers would ever bare bad omens?

Word Count: 5.588

Author's Note: I apologise for the repost! I forgot to do my taglist + the tags didn't work for me so let me try this again. This is a whole chunk of angst and nothing more. I'm sorry about this but it is going to get darker :')

Enjoy!

gif credit: winterswake

"Oof, this wasn't your greatest idea, you know that right?" You sighed anxiously, hands on your hips.

"I've done many things that weren't so great, sweetpea," Joel wiped his wet hands on the cute little apron around his waist after he put the vegetables he had cut into the bowl which was on the counter next to the cutting board: "We both know it, but this totally ain't one of 'em."

He carried another bowl to the dining room where you stood, gave your exposed neck a brief kiss as he passed by. Kiki and Ward were going to arrive anytime now for Joel's infamous dinner plan. When he put the bowl down, he scanned the table with a puzzled expression: "Why are there two more plates?"

You leaned your weight on one leg as you grabbed the edges of the chair, which stood at the head of the table: "I... invited Tommy and Maria over, too–"

Joel's expression made you feel guilty: "(Y/N)."

"What?" You spoke defensively, a nervous expression on your face and tone to your voice. "It was going to be awkward as shit otherwise."

"You don't know that," He growled. "Not when you pull stunts like this."

"I don't care," You emphasised each word, exhaustion present in your stance. "Better safe than sorry, Joel."

He nodded disapprovingly and walked back to the kitchen as you stood there, your head hanging with a sigh. You slowly raised it up, hands on your hips again, then turned your head to the side just enough for him to hear you over the sound of the steamer: "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not," He said when he walked past you, carrying the last piece of dish to the table. His anger wasn't for nothing, you accepted what you did was an ass move.

"You're right." You huffed, which made him look at you. "I'm not sorry for inviting Tommy and Maria over, but I am sorry for upsetting you."

His tense stance eased slowly at your words, then he proceeded to mirror your chair holding pose, huffing quietly: "Well, one of us is gon' have to eat less, I'm more worried about that."

"I'll gladly volunteer, I lost my appetite." You rubbed your eyes, which sported dark circles underneath them– which worried Joel.

He stepped closer to you, reaching for your hip with his dominant hand and began rubbing soothing circles there: "No. You eat. Don't think for a second I didn't notice how you started eatin' less." This whole ordeal was getting to you more than you cared to admit. It had been eight days since your decision to arrange dinner with them, but it clearly didn't escape Joel's notice. You looked down, ashamed, running a hand through your hair nervously: "Hey, look at me," Joel gently took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head up, his nose inches away from yours. The three knocks on your door didn't stop him from saying: "You're worryin' over nothin', sweetheart. It's gonna be alright."

"We'll see," You looked into his eyes with a blank stare, gulping, giving his hand a light squeeze before walking to the door, collecting yourself in the meantime. From the small windows on the door, it wasn't hard to tell the brunette couple had arrived. You took a deep breath as you opened the door with a sincere smile: "Hello there– Come in, welcome."

"Hi!" Kiki grinned and Ward just offered an awkward resemblance of a smile.

After escorting them to the living room, you spoke: "Joel's getting finished in the kitchen, then we can have dinner."

"Joel's cooking?" Kiki gave you an alien look. It wasn't a my goodness what a man I bet he cooks real fine tone, but more a genuinely confused one.

"Uhm, yes?" You lightly flinched but smiled still, equally confused at her question. Giving a brief look at Ward, you noticed how he was staring hard at her and she was pointedly ignoring him. "Don't worry, he actually cooks better than me... haha."

You stared into each other's eyes for five seconds, both of your irises reflecting a pair of question marks at each other, then she let out an odd laugh: "Oh! If you say so... What a beautiful garden you got– Lots of flowers."

"Why, thank you," You smiled a little nervously. "I like taking care of flowers and plants..."

"Oh really? I do– did too, once upon a time..." Kiki did an exaggerated smiley face. "I should bring you some, then!"

"That's very kind of you," You felt yourself soften a little at her words. "Well, how have you both been? Feeling like you two are fitting in? I hope people aren't giving you trouble."

"Oh," Kiki looked at Ward for the first time, who's gaze was focused on you now. "No, I think we started to fit in better–" Ward nodded in agreement, his head turning in her direction: "Gets better every day."

"That's good news," You quietly huffed out a breath of relief, nodding at her words, which was when Joel walked in to greet them, and also when there was another pair of knocks on the door. This time, thank God, it was Tommy and Maria.

The dinner went without a hitch, to say the least. Although it had it's awkward moments, Tommy and Maria always picked it up one way or another. Delicious meals were eaten and wines from your collection with Joel were opened– it was pleasant to a certain degree. You and Joel sat across each other on the other ends of the table, Maria and Tommy sat to your left while Kiki and Ward sat to your right. Kiki was seated by your side, but she mostly had her attention on your husband. She didn't drink, but Ward did, and after his second glass, he seemed to relax more.

When it was time to carry all the plates back to where they came from, Joel and you carried the first party. When you placed them in the sink, and he on the counter, he softly grabbed your hand: "See? Wasn't that bad, was it?"

It sort of was, for you anyway, as much as you tried to calm your nerves with the wine: "Thanks to Tommy and Maria, yeah." Joel sighed through his nose and looked away for a moment: "What?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning." Joel let your hand go, but didn't move away.

"What is there to talk about?" You spoke, frustrated, your arms opening slightly in a gesture. Right then, your eyes moved over his shoulder to the doorway. He turned around to see it was Maria with two of the rect platters in her hands.

"Joel, why don't you go back? (Y/N) and I'll handle it from here." She spoke as she walked over to where you two were, then placed the platters on the counter. He gave you one last look before nodding and walking back inside. As soon as he left, Maria stood very close to you and turned on the water: "You wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

"Not really," You quickly started to wash the plates and she helped with the leftovers.

"(Y/N)," Maria spoke more seriously. "There's obviously something wrong–"

"I didn't say there wasn't, I just don't wanna talk about it right now." You said, turning your head to her a little but not looking her in the eyes. "Please, Maria, I appreciate you and your concern, but–"

"Mind if I help?" Kiki suddenly appeared with more service in her hands, startling you both.

"Not at all," Maria replied in your stead. "I'll leave you two to it, I need to use the bathroom."

You closed your eyes, exhausted, then begged for patience as Kiki replaced Maria's place next to you. She kept a distance, which you also appreciated. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke: "The food was delicious, I'm surprised Joel helped you prepare all of this."

You tried– God knows your tried not to look for a double meaning behind her words, but you failed: "Well, as I said, he cooks better than me."

"No, I mean, he just really helps you around, y'know? Serving, preparing, cleaning..."

You turned to face her, closing the sink, and took a proper look at her: "What's so weird about it? We're partners– Married– There's no helping out, we do it together, as it should be."

"Oh, don't get me wrong," She said after a while, her smile unsettling. "It's just that, I always do the cooking, and preparing, and cleaning. That's what I was taught, while Ward..."

You bit down on your tongue hard as you finally understood what she was getting at, the realisation making you blink once and long, then look away. A silent oh left your lips while you thought about how to respond, forcing a small smile to your lips: "Well... Uh– Why don't you go back, I'll take it from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got this, you're our guest, after all."

She smiled and nodded, heading back. As soon as she turned around you let out a silent, heavy breath, looking a little bewildered and disturbed at the things she had said. You stood still for a few moments, then ultimately decided to wash your face, so you took it up to the bathroom.

When you woke up the next morning, you had a mild headache from the wine, no doubt. Joel was nowhere to be found, which had you worried for a second, then you realised it was near noon. After washing your face, you dragged yourself downstairs and once you made it to the kitchen, you found Tommy, Eugene and Joel sitting quietly at the table.

"Mornin' princess," Eugene grinned at you, a cup in his hand. Joel and Tommy had more serious, even a little worried looks on their faces.

"Hey," You waved at them and dragged your feet to the cupboard where you kept your coffee, only to find you had ran out of the beans.

"How're you feelin'?"

"I'm fine... What kinda question is that?" You chuckled.

The brothers shared a brief look before Tommy slowly got up, walked towards the island counter and leaned against it with his elbows: "Listen, (Y/N), we're all a bit worried about you."

"I'm not!" Eugene said clearly. "I mean, I am, but not in the way they are– What's going on with you and the newcomers?"

You stared at the brothers, hard, then turned to Joel: "Is this the new town gossip, then?"

He huffed, crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat: "It ain't nothin'. We were talking about last night," He gestured between himself and Tommy. "Eugene overheard, expressed his own worries 'bout them and wanted to talk to you."

You felt so exposed –out in the open– with the spotlight moving onto you once more. Your eyebrows furrowed as Joel held your gaze for a while, the other men too scared to interfere; until Eugene spoke: "Look, (Y/N), I get what worries you, even if these two bimbos will say there's nothing wrong. I'm here to vouch for ya."

"Thanks," You shrugged and nodded. You felt embarrassed at the three pairs of eyes waiting for a response from you– speaking to Eugene alone about what actually worried you would've made you feel much better, but you just told them about the interactions between you and Kiki. The more you spoke, the more frustrated you got, which ironically made you close up more.

"Which reminds me," He said some time after you mentioned her offer to bring you a flower. "Do you have, uh, mugwort in your garden?"

The abrupt change of topic caught you off guard, but you still said yes, I think so and walked out from the back door, the old man tailing you. The sun immediately burned down on your skin, but a gentle breeze lightened the load on your shoulders as it accompanied you to the edge of the garden.

"Look, I don't actually need mugwort," He said when you sat down on your knees. "If you wanna say something to me that you think they won't understand, now's your chance."

You moved on with your digging quietly while he waited, then finally, without looking at him and venom dripping from every word you spoke, you sighed: "Kiki has eyes for Joel."

Eugene coughed loudly at your cold words, a hand on his chest: "Shit, (Y/N)..."

"Everyone, including Joel, seems oblivious to this– I'll probably get accused of petty jealousy if I tell them, but since you've had your fair share of weird run-ins with her, I think you should know."

He remained quiet for awhile as you worked with the plant, then finally huffed: "That's not a jealous face from what I can see, it's the face of a woman who's sensing something's gonna go wrong."

You finally looked up at him, your cold expression turned soft because of his sympathy, then looked back down: "I'm losing sleep over some stupid– bitch– God, I was... I've been trying to convince myself that it's nothing, but–"

"It's not nothing, (Y/N)." Eugene spoke firmly, grabbing your shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Something's clearly not right with those two, and you've a right to get worried, 'cause I'm guessing it's not just Joel you're worried about."

You gulped, wiped some sweat off the corner of your brow with your wrist, then nodded.

"Well," He took the plants from your hands. "Thanks for this, and, just know that you're not alone. If you ever wanna talk more about this, you know where to find me. Don't be a stranger."

You did pay Eugene a visit a few days later to talk more about them. You felt more comfortable talking to him alone, and you were talking to him because you didn't want to add more to Joel's tension and strain your relationship again. It also felt good to just talk about the whole thing and have someone who understood you.

You had told him that you had no doubts about Joel's intentions, but about Kiki's and hers alone. He had told you he understood and told you that his door was always open if you needed to talk again, so you went to him a second time in a cool afternoon after Kiki had appeared out of nowhere.

"Flowers! As promised!" She smiled brightly, giving you a tiny bouquet of mixed, yellow flowers.

"Oh, wow," You carefully took the bouquet from her, smiling at the sight and feeling genuinely happy for a moment that she actually did something like this. "Thank you, Kiki."

"Don't mention it," She smiled sincerely and initiated smalltalk, then went about her business. After you closed the door, however, reality came crashing down.

You went to see Eugene then: He had just returned from patrol, so the moment you saw him, you grabbed him and went back to your house. A very old book you owned, The Meanings of Flowers, laid on the dinner table while you sat at the head of the table again, the older man to your right. Beautiful flowers rested above the book, a pair of each: Carnation, hyacinth, marigold, rose and tansy. You already knew the names of the most thanks to your free time activities, so finding them in the book wasn't particularly hard.

"Damn, (Y/N), you're really gettin' into this, aren't you?" Eugene said when you first explained and laid the flowers in front of him as he sat down.

You read through the pages and sat across him. "I think... I have, uh– What if she's asking for help?"

"How do you mean?" He gave you a look, and when you stared at him a while, he slowly got what you were saying. "You... think that too?"

"It's so obvious," You sighed, a sad expression on your face. "It's the only logical explanation for the way she responds to physical touch. There's more to it than what Ward told me about their past."

"You're right," He huffed, troubled. "Alright, let's see what carnation means."

"Each colour represents something different, but yellow..." What you read made you tense up.

"What?"

"Disdain."

You gave each other a look, then you continued to other flowers: "Hyacinth– Yellow hyacinth is... jealousy."

"Do these even grow in Wyoming?" Eugene was as disturbed as you were. You just shrugged, but you were thinking more about how she came to find these in the first place.

"Marigold– Jealousy, despair... Rose, yellow– Jealousy and..." You gasped shortly, eyes widening at the word.

"What, what is it?" Eugene turned the book to himself a little and his eyes widened slightly as well.

Infidelity.

"Maybe... Maybe tansy means something else?" Eugene flipped the pages as you burned a hole through the table, stunned where you sat. "Hostile thoughts, declaring war... Shit."

He stared at you as you slowly raised your head up and gave him a nasty look, whispering angrily: "Who... Who does she think she is?"

"(Y/N), I– I don't," Eugene knew, like yourself, that this could've been just pure coincidence, but all of the flowers representing almost exactly the same things inevitably had him worried and at a loss for words.

"That little bitch–" Your fists flexed into a fist, your brows drawing together, creating deep lines on your forehead.

"Don't freak out," Eugene grabbed your elbow in a calming gesture.

"She wants him–? She wants a war? I'll give her something worse, she'll regret ever setting foot in–"

"What's going on?" In between your heartbeat ringing in your ear and loud, angry words, you didn't hear Joel come in. Your head snapped towards him, eyes wide open and angry, then turned your head away towards Eugene.

"I think it's best if you sit down." The older man said uncomfortably.

He obliged, never looking away from you as he did. He was clearly worried, careful, but also cross; it wasn't hard to tell, and you had hoped he wouldn't see what you were up to, but alas...

"You know who brought me these?" You asked, focused at something outside the window.

"I have an idea." His eyes were burning through the side of your face, the tension crushing everyone in the room.

You chuckled bitterly. "You must think I'm crazy."

"I think no such thing," He growled, offended by your accusation. "You don't sleep well, you don't eat– Your worryin's making me worry!"

"The thing is, Joel," Eugene intervened. "She has a right to worry."

He finally looked at him with an exhausted expression: "What?"

"Each of these flowers have meanings in this book right here," He tapped the book. "And they're not good meanings at all."

"See? This is what worries me," He leaned back, crossing his arms. "You're gonna check everything she does or gives?"

"So you want me to stay oblivious to– to things, while Ward is probably physically absuing his wife?" You snapped, your head turning in Joel's direction to meet his quizzical expression. You got up from your chair, leaning in with your hands on the table: "If she was meaning to send a message to us with these flowers, asking for help, and we ignored it? That'd be on me."

"How could it possibly be on you?" He replied angrily. "How would she know that you'd– decipher this message?"

"I told you that I told her about–"

"Enough!" Eugene growled. "She sent her a message, despite what could be happening in their household." You sighed heavily and turned your head to the side, Joel glancing at Eugene as he continued: "All these flowers have one thing in common, Joel, and it's that they've bad meanings. This one?" He held up the marigold: "Jealousy. This one?" The hyacinth: "Also jealousy. And this?" The rose: "Jealousy... as well as infidelity."

Joel leaned back, an irked look on his face: "Wh– What?"

"Tansy– Hostile thoughts." He coughed into his fist as he put the flower down.

"So don't sit there–" You looked at him again, leaning in with your head: "And tell me that I'm worrying over nothing. Just because you have no clue about what's going on around you, doesn't mean it's not happening." You gulped, the barbed wire around your throat present once more, then picked up the book and closed it: "Thanks, Eugene."

He just nodded with a concerned look on his face and watched you walk upstairs. Joel, stunned in place, didn't say a word as the older man got up, tipped his head at him and left. He sat there for some time, by himself and stared at the beautiful flowers. He hadn't seen you like this since the Axel case– sure, you both had ups and downs but it had never gotten this bad since then. To prevent another fall out, he knew this time he had to be a little more alert for both of your sakes, if your accusations were indeed true.

But you both needed to co-operate if something was going to be done about this.

It was close to a week later when Ward opened up again.

Joel and you were a bit tense, even after when he suggested the next day after the flower incident that you both went to Maria to change your patrol schedules. She had said Joel only had one more patrol left with Kiki, while you still had three to go with Ward, which was okay for you especially after you found out that Joel's last patrol with Kiki was a group sweep which involved you too.

Joel was more than relieved too, thinking maybe change of patrol partners will finally ease the tension between you and him, but it seemed you'd remain upset until that last patrol was over with, which was the day after your current patrol with Ward.

You were taking a different route this time, on horseback and it was in the afternoon, a chill breeze was present which took the burning feel of the slowly setting sun off your shoulders. The trees were offering shield from the sun with their shadows, too.

"I overheard people talking about you and Joel."

"Really?" You rolled your eyes. "What were they saying?"

"Something about... having a child."

You turned your head and gave him a stern look, but it wasn't directed at him, then you sighed, the grip you had on your reigns tightening: "It's none of their business."

"Exactly what I told them."

"What?" You turned to face him again, the whip of your head smoother than before, and your voice was softer– surprised.

"I told them to stop talking about something which wasn't their business," Ward casually explained. "They then told me that I had no business listening to them, so I threatened to break their jaw if they didn't shut up."

"Ward..." You gave him a look of disapproval.

"Kidding," He offered a small smile. "Leave out the threatening bit, but it did cause a little argument. Maria was there though... organising this event that's coming up. She defended you, too."

You hadn't taken him to be the type to stand up for people he didn't exactly know: "Ward I–"

"Sorry though, don't know who they were–"

"Thank you."

He blinked, equally surprised at the smallest smile on your lips: "Oh, well..."

"Not many people would do that, I appreciate it," Your grip loosened and you allowed yourself to relax a little. "People tend to get ahead of themselves sometimes."

"Inconsiderate, that's what they are." He growled, but his face was thoughtful and troubled exactly like when he told you of his background. "It just– Gets on my nerves. This whole... baby talk."

"You and mine both," You huffed. "It's just funny how people who have almost no connections to me and Joel talk about it, when him and I haven't even put it out on the table yet." It was true. Neither of you had even said the word out of its nickname context.

"I just hope they won't force you to have one."

You turned your head to him with slightly wide eyes: "How do you mean?"

He remained quiet for a while, probably debating on whether he should share what he meant or not – if he should listen to his needs and get it off his chest, or add more to the bottle when there was no space left in it. He finally spoke: "Kiki had to lie, so that they wouldn't separate or punish us. I was too... paralysed to speak when she said We want to have children out of nowhere. Said that it was the only reason why we decided to date and get married. We had been together for just five months."

A sick lie to get out of an equally sick situation, which normally would've made you feel sick, but in this fucked up world and having done the equally fucked up shit you did, you couldn't bring yourself to feel nauseous; however, it did make a shiver run down your spine, the situation reminding you of the Seraphites in Seattle when an escapee had arrived in Boston, months after the fall of that QZ. She had told horrifying stories about how her and five other people had barely made it past them: They had witnessed 'religious sacrifice's, and the manslaughter from The WLF hadn't helped their case either... She had committed suicide a month after her arrival in Boston.

"By then we started to regret our decision more, because they were forcing us to– To have a child–"

"Hey, look, you don't have to tell me–"

"We lied–" He continued, feeling though as if he wasn't going to get another chance to open up again. "For a long time, it was maybe we're not lucky enough, or God's not willing. They... They went as far as to consider fucking exorcism, and it was all on Kiki, and her alone."

You thought for a moment he was going to cry, with the way his face scrunched up, but he kept going angrily: "I told them it could be biological, they told me she was cursed... I told them, maybe the problem was me, they insisted it was her... Until they finally needed proof that we were actually– You know–"

"God," You quietly gasped.

"I don't– We tried to break up, to end the madness, but they wouldn't listen. I had never touched Kiki other than kisses and hugs, while we were lying to them about– She was a virgin and so was I–"

He stopped for a brief moment when his horse whinnied, you were getting closer to the tall walls surrounding Jackson, then continued hesitantly: "She– finally got pregnant, after a whole year of deceiving them, but the stress of it got to her, I think. She... she miscarried." He gulped, closing his eyes tightly, an unpleasant look on his face. "You can imagine how it was received around the community– We had to run, you see, so we did."

You had reached the gates by then, it was Joel who was at the watchtower and waved at you as you waited for the doors to open. You waved back with a worried look on your face, which he must've spied through his binoculars. After bringing the horse into the stables and handing back your rifles, you stopped him. It was unusually quiet and empty around the southern gate, which was normally empty anyway: "Listen, I just wanna say–"

Before you knew it, a stuck gasp left him. His back was to you, so at first you thought he saw something, but as soon as you stepped to his side: "Ward," He was crying. "Oh– Hey, it's okay..."

He whimpered until he ran out of breath, covering his face with his hands. You didn't know how to react, internally panicking and carefully studying his body language, while feeling like a dick about it. You slowly and carefully put a hand on his back, and at the touch, he immediately collapsed by your feet. He was weeping now, and too close for comfort. You quickly looked around to see if anyone was there, only to find out not a single soul was in your line of sight, except for the slowly and suddenly approaching figure of your husband.

"Ward, get up," You lightly shook him by the shoulder to get his attention, but this only resulted in him leaning closer to your legs. You raised your head to see Joel had come to a stop a couple of feet away from where you stood: "Get. Up."

"You said– You said–" He struggled with trying not to cry and breathing at the same time.

"I said there is a group session if you needed to talk," You spoke, defeated, feeling Joel's burning gaze on your eyelids. "I'm sorry for what happened. I really am, but you need to get up."

He looked up at you to meet your stern, pitying gaze, then wiped at his tears. He nodded a couple of times and slowly got up, sniffling quietly. Without saying another word –even though he looked like he wanted to– and sparing you another look, he readjusted his backpack and walked away as if nothing happened. You stood there and watched him leave with your hands on your hips, then let out an exhausted sigh. You were just thankful that you weren't murdered for the most part, irked because of his sudden breakdown, but you also felt like shit scolding him as you did.

"You wanna tell me what the hell was that all about?" Joel. And he neither sounded pleased nor amused.

"You think I have an idea?" You gave him a hopeless look. "Man just– Suddenly told me the rest of his story and broke down, I don't–" Joel stood with his arms crossed, within your 6 feet radius, but there was nothing soft about it.

He was expecting an explanation, and an explanation he got: "That, Joel? That's what fucking scares me! I hear the shit they went through and I listen to it, waiting for the time he's going to get to the part where I did something to him or someone he cared for– waiting for the time they're going to shoot me or stab me– or you! And then they get like– like that, or do something nice to us, and suddenly I feel like an asshole because they're not bad people in the end, they just need some fucking help!"

You breathed heavily as your hands remained open at your sides after all the gestures and motions, your chest rising and falling very obviously as small sweat and tear droplets rolled down your face: "And they're seeking help in all the wrong places, from the most unsuitable people. I don't know about you, but I'm not mentally capable of taking their load while I have my own to deal with."

Joel took in a short amount of breath, as if to speak, but immediately closed his mouth. He stared into your eyes for what felt like 30 minutes, searching for something– you weren't quite sure what. He looked angry, upset, worried and heartbroken all in the same time.

Finally, when he couldn't speak, you added: "If anything happened to me, I could live with that." You spoke calmly, nodding curtly: "But if anything happens to you? I'll tear this whole goddamn town apart and make sure they can't find a place to hide from me."

Your fidgeting, unfocused eyes suddenly found Joel's hazel ones; you saw through all the anger, fretting and upset at that moment.

It was such an adoring, lovely gaze– Bit by bit, it drained you of all the hate and other ugly emotions pressing down your shoulders; a great sense of solace overcoming you as his big, warm hand cupped your jaw. He leaned in to steal the softest of kisses from your damaged lips– subconscious biting had seen to that, but Joel's softer ones made up for the loss on your side.

Before he could give you the chance to debate on whether you should hug him or not, he pulled back, his hand on your cheek still: "I won't let anything happen to you– To either of us. I promise you." You stared into each other's eyes for another moment, then he placed a most gentle kiss on your temple: "I made some dinner for you, go and eat for me."

You nodded, eyes lowering to the ground, then slowly walked away. Joel was quick to take notice of your broken stance– slumped shoulders, slowed steps and, ah, there goes the hand through your hair. He knew, then, that he had to put more effort into understanding how you viewed the couple and respecting your feelings. Sure, you were prone to worry and overthink, but so was he. Nothing, as far as he knew and had seen, had gotten to you like this before. Something ought to be wrong for you to beat yourself up over it as you did.

But despite everything –despite him still not seeing the way you saw the couple– you were, of course (and without question), his priority. He trusted you and your judgement, and it had always been so.

He just hoped it wasn't too late to show you that.

[milkiijustwrites]

Raffle prize 1

Medieval fantasy AU Scenario+dragon tamer hajime hinata+ forest spirit reader

For @generous1ty

❗ Fluff ❗

❗Droplet/Waterfall❗

❗1st place winner prize❗

Hope you enjoy ! ^^

A smell of something burning spread through the forest, it was a sunny day that day, hajime was seen sitting down on a rock, fire appeared on his hands, but both of his eyes were shut closed, the fire was getting bigger and bigger ,almost touching the tree beside him. With the smell of smoke, hajime opened his eyes wide and the fire was soon disappeared with a simple flick.

Hajime was bored, he could do nothing in a day like this, the only thing he had done for today was just sitting on this specific rock and play with his fire magic. He rubbed his eyes and decided to wash out the sleepiness off.

He walked towards a nearby pond and bend down to get closer to the pond. His reflection appeared on the pond. Brown haired with olive green eyes. Wearing an armour made out of thick leather as he wears a cloak on top of it as well. the tip of a sharp sword was also seen behind his cloak.

Hajime yawned as he poured some water towards his face multiple times to keep him awake.

Suddenly, something crawled behind hajime and jumped onto him! Hajime was pushed over by a certain something and as felt some sticky liquid on his face. He opened his eyes and saw a dragon licking on him!

It was klik The dragon! Hajime smiled when he figured out it was him. Hajime trained klik For a long time and they eventually became buddy partners. They will be sticking together wherever they go for an adventure.

After getting dragon saliva all over his face, hajime had to wash his face once again. He look over to klik And thought of an idea, how about going on another adventure?

Hajime had nothing to do anyways, so he already decided. He whistled ,implying klik To follow him as they walk into the forest.

The forest was full of traps , but they're all visible, what kind of people would place traps that are visible? Hajime thought. Thinking that this person definetly wasn't someone smart.

They cautiously continue their journey as more and more traps appeared. Wait... Ain't these traps are the traps he had saw before? Hajime thought as he stood at where hes at, stopping for awhile to think.

Could it be..? That they are just walking circles and circles around this forest?

Hajime decided to take a check, as he placed a blue pebble down and continue walking. They walked for some time and he indeed saw the blue pebble once again. They were inside of a certain person's trap.

He shouldn't have thought badly of them at first, hajime sighed as he felt regret on what he had thought earlier.he shouldn't have jinx it.

He walked towards another way instead of going straight to the jungle, and he meet upon a pond. It surely isn't the pond before, since the water is all muddy. Around the pond is full of long grass , it seems like this place wasn't cleaned up that often.

Just as hajime was about to approach the pond, he heard his dragon moving aggressively , looking for something. Hajime got curious and ask klik What's wrong.

"Haha! You talk to dragons? Are you a loner or what?"

Suddenly a bright voice spread through the entire forest , the person stated , with a teasing tone.

Hajime quickly turns his head around and saw a small little figure stood behind him. It was the forest spirit!

" you're the ... Forest spirit aren't you?"

Hajime asked, with a questioning look on his face.

" Ahaha, you don't know what the forest spirit look like? Geez do you lack information or what"

The figure laughed as he questioned back hajime. Everyone Im this country should know what the spirits look like, so that they could avoid them. So it certainly is kinda weird for hajime to question them like that.

" anyways, this is my forest, so step away please! "

They said with a very calming tone, it seems that they won't do anything to hajime. So hajime nodded his head and turns around , leaving the forest.

"... Wait- you actually thought I would be letting you go? If we do, people wont be afraid of us you know?"

Hajime’s path was blocked by a blue spark, casted by the forest spirit it self, stopping him from leaving

" now let's see what can I do with you.... Hey jump in this pond! It's full of horse poop!"

They said with a playful tone, asking hajime to step in that muddy pond.

"...huh... You want me to step in that dirty pond?"

Hajime asked, with a disgusted look on his face, you could say he really refused to do that.

" yup yup! Then I'll let you go!"

The forest spirit seem to be sure of their choices and do not plan to change the topic.

Hajime sighed and intended to step the pond, he doesn't want to fight you know

The forest spirit was seen to be shocked of hajime's action, for sure they thought hajime wouldn't do that.

Just as hajime's foot touched the pond, his body flew away from that pond but went towards the forest spirit's arms instead.

"I never thought you'd actually do that! I'm impressed! Fine, I'll let you go, I'll lead you guys out."

They said, looking upwards onto hajime's face since he is shorter than him, hands still wrapping behind his back.

Hajime turned his head around , not looking at the forest spirit as he got tricked by him,such childishness, he thought to himself, but never failed to think that it's actually quite cute for a forest spirit like them.

Afterwards, the forest spirit starts leading the way out to hajime and kilk , they talked on their way and hajime found out that they are just a fellow spirit that just wants to play with other people, they all thought of them just too intimidating.

" how do I call you?"

Asked hajime looking over to the forest spirit while theyre in a position where their hand behind the back of their head.

" call me droplet! Waterfall would be nice too!"

They giggled , as they continued walking forward.

Hajime smiles at droplet and Reach out his hand and put on their head, slowly ruffled their hair as he called them on their name.

"... Droplet, I'll call you droplet then."

Droplet looked at hajime for a moment and soon turned their head away, hiding their faint blush with their hair.

" g-great! I like droplet too!!"

They said, slightly trembling.

After a long journey, they finally reached the end of the forest m hajime thanked droplet for leading the way . Droplet teased hajime on telling him that he would have to pay for the tourist fee.

Hajime laughed , as he run his fingers through droplet's hair and tell them to keep it for next time.

"next.. time? "

Droplet thought they heard it wrong, will hajime come and spend time with them again?

" yeah, I'll come again , it's a lot fun talking to you, it will more fun if you tease a little bit less though,"

Said hajime, with a smile on his face. He really did enjoy the journey with droplet and all the fun things they done.

Droplet couldn't be happy more , he happily jumped up to the sky and thanked hajime for today's journey.

It was a journey both of them will remember.

" see ya! droplet! "

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i'm here for your Jare and Lana Thoughts

hmm i’m not good at like, coming up with concrete ideas/hcs, or at recalling anything, but yeah they should get to be friends

i mean we don’t know that alana has Any friends, and really even pre-act 2, evan is not an amazing friend to jared, and even if things were better re: that relationship, it’s not really ideal to for jared to have one single friend anyways.......and, again, evan’s not exactly the perfect friend and like, even though i think anyone taking any real note of the material realizes that jared and evan’s relationship being not very close or great at this juncture is a two-way street, it’s easily arguable that evan’s a worse friend to jared in canon than jared is to him. so like, if jared’s gonna have One Friend lol tbh it would be great if he and alana could become friends and like, have someone to hang out with and just have a chill time being Not Alone for once and not having to feel like they have to be maintaining this perfect performance at all times or be dropped

really like it’s a great concept to just imagine them getting to spend time together doing totally unremarkable average Hanging Out stuff.......do homework together sometimes instead of alone in their respective bedrooms, spend time together on the weekend and play video games / watch a movie, just do some chill shit that gives them the chance to have conversations and share interests and personal info and just like, get used to feeling more relaxed in this person’s presence and like this is a real friendship......maybe they spend time together in canon doing tcp stuff ever but we were never shown it, and that’s a bit of a transition from being mostly strangers (distant acquaintances) to being Sort Of friends / at least being more familiar with each other......and maybe they can become closer After the tcp heyday, like, presumably in the timeskip-and-beyond part of things.....like, yeah there's the issue of everything that happened re: tcp and how jared knows more about the inside story while maybe alana just suspects, and natch i don't think jared would be willing to share that Inside Story if only because we all know that he and evan are mutually protecting each other forever, but also i don't think that like, thoroughly discussing the tcp stuff is absolutely crucial to jared and alana getting to be friends. for one thing, they probably can't have gotten That close during tcp, since by act 2 jared is apparently not super involved, and for another thing i think by the finale times both alana and jared might Both just be wanting to pretty much like, move on from all the tcp stuff.

also like, really i don't remember if jared's Extracurriculars like model u.n. was from pre-bway content and/or if it was from "cherrypicking anything worthwhile from the novel" content lol, but also stuff like being a camp counselor can't be completely effortless, and as someone who isn't too close to his parents and for whomst, at least at one point, theoretically, his car insurance being paid was tied to him doing stuff his mom wants him to do e.g. Be Nice To Evan, i get the idea that maybe jared does some academic / extracurricular stuff at least partially with the motivation of staying in the good graces of his parents and other adults / being Approved of via those routes of like, performing well at various Set Tasks like "get good grades" "be in model u.n." "be nice to evan, theoretically, according to jared himself" and etc........anyways this is a really roundabout way to get to "alana might be engaged in like, structured / approved Tasks as a means to being supported, not in the exact same way as jared is but with enough of a parallel that he Understands it".....like, i think yeah we can deduce that alana is kind of Studious or at least cares about her academic performance, but people like, forget that she's Not just doing everything for her college applications, and that most of what the focus is on is alana doing Extracurricular stuff that's more involved with / focused on Local Community than just like, school......she's talking about what she did over the summer, which is sure inherently Not stuff for school, and tcp is only partly about the school, and isn't Academic.......alana probably sees Community Involvement as a means to support / connection / positive attention, which is a bit different from jared who like, yeah might be kinda on that wavelength in Disappear thru Ywbf, but also it might be mostly "oh i can be in this group with evan and alana"......jared mostly seems to regard Attention From Anyone Else as something potentially negative, even though of course he doesn't want to Not get any attention, so on the one hand he's trying to get ahead of that Potential Negative Attention by trying to establish his own Role as [i'm the jokes boy] and be able to Deflect attention away from himself, or at least from whatever aspects of himself he doesn't want to have anyone focus on / question, and he seems to have an even more Defensive approach re: adults (i.e. "literally nothing i tell my parents is true") and it's easy to imagine that he sees it as like, as long as he Does This Checklist of Tasks He's Supposed To Do, e.g. "get decent grades" / "do some extracurriculars (i'm just remembering model u.n. was from Prior Versions Of The Show b/c it was related to that perjury thing and being the ambassador of luxembourg)" / etc and Adults Will Leave Him Alone Entirely Maybe........alana of course doesn't really wanna be left alone, but also she's more focused on her Peers than adults as well, ppl mischaracterizing her as like, only caring about grades & Rules & generally being a killjoy.........but natch if she Is trying to get good grades and Is involving herself in a lot of projects academic or extracurricular or unaffiliated with school at all, and there's gonna be more Work involved in that, and probably hanging out with her will involve doing work Parallel to each other, or at least, alana doing work while you do whatever.......and i think jared would Get that and wouldn't be like, "why are you boring" lol......out here down to bond with evan over basically a writing project......having Computer Skills which he presumably honed / hones on his own time.........this is a mess but im basically getting to "jared wouldn't think alana is boring or anything and would understand pursuing Something through the routes of Projects and Commitments and Approved Activities" look i'm phrasing everything terribly but if i don't just get shit down i'll never answer this ask

meanwhile i think alana would think jared is funny, which is nice b/c despite jared trying to be Humorous evan doesn't act very interested or like he's like "jared you're hilarious and i love that about you" lmao like. obviously people interpret jared's Attitude as like omg so uncaring he has no feelings he also has no problems b/c he Takes Nothing Seriously (which obviously. Humor / demeanor doesn't necessarily reflect taking whatever "seriously" or not.) and maybe evan's misinterpreting it too, but even if he Knows better re: how jared really feels about things, he's not exactly trying to engage with him about it any other way, so.......anyways alana thought connor's terrible joke from probably a while back is funny so. she'd probably Genuinely be like "haha good one jared" and jared would get to be like :o :o :o whoa i made a joke and someone reacted......natch jared's also just trying to like, Provoke evan into paying attention to him sometimes with his Humour / being able to comment on Real Shit without giving away his Real Feelings but like, probably not the ideal form of communication, and jared's out here @ connor like "it was a joke" so he'd probably be fine if any other students like, reacted to his jokes as jokes.........and alana could. also she might Joke sometimes in return lol

there Is that bit of an issue where yeah alana having a tendency to just Take The Lead on things where jared has a tendency to just like, back off if he isn't expressly given space in the first place or if he's pushed back, and this isn't Ideal obviously but like, he and alana don't have to interact via Working On Projects Together alone, especially not tcp, and it'd be an inherently different dynamic if they were interacting solely due to being Friends / wanting to hang out for no especial reason vs interacting to work on something together........and i don't think alana would Want a friendship to be the same as "someone she works on a project with" like, as far as we know in canon, alana only has Acquaintances and jared ends up losing his one friend, so i think if alana and jared become closer later on / start this new Actual Friendship between themselves, alana wouldn't want it to feel the same as like, being involved in tcp together (and neither would jared), and i also don't think jared would necessarily want it to feel like his friendship with evan, which natch wasn't going great, particularly not in those final months l o l .......even though both of them being Friendless would probably make them somewhat eager to make One Friend, they both got burned by their attempts to Get Closer To People (or A Person in jared's case lol) ("everyone needed it for something" like okayyy if you say so, guess we Are just forgetting about alana and jared's existence), and they might not exactly be raring to go about [Obtaining Friendship] the same way again. and since they both had a pretty Transactional approach to getting positive attention (i.e. jared helping evan out and doing shit for him, alana doing the same and presumably doing the bulk of the tcp work when evan ingeniously held jared at arm's length instead of having him more involved but then kind of peaced out of the project himself) it'd probably be nice for alana to have someone who seems to like being around her without it being due to any of the work she does / has done, whereas jared probably doesn't wanna be The Guy Who Helps Out and is only talked to for that purpose..............and them both having a friend who they Didn't make / keep via their respective wtaw-type approaches to things is probably gonna be encouraging re: the fact that yknow, they don't have to put on that certain Performance of what they think people might want from them / people might find Acceptable from them........and of course if they spend more time together they'll get more used to the other / learn about them, and probably ~Learn About Themselves~ since they're finally getting to like, Not be putting on a performance for someone / feeling like they have to play some specific role to be liked or whatever

and like, alana isn't just all Boring and incapable of having fun or comprehending what that is........i like soph's hc that she loves karaoke, jared could tag along and be the audience lol and it's just like, hey we can just have fun together doing shit for fun and not like, feeling like you're having to prove your worth to the other person all the time, just having some confidence that the other person likes you for who you are and they can relax and actually enjoy it

naturally i like the idea that alana and jared become friends (or better friends) in college........the rest of senior year has to be Not A Great Time and just generally more fraught than usual for them, and they could stand to have the summer before college to kinda take a breath (but also maybe feel worried about college) but then yknow once college starts they're In college and it's different from hs (and better), and it being a Different environment with Different people and a Different structure can also help them just like, get more comfortable with themselves and maybe (hopefully) feel more capable of pursuing stuff they really wanna do and just overall be having a better time than, say, in senior year of high school.....would sure be convenient if they went to the same one of course. lol. hang out all the time on campus / between classes, go to Social Occasions together, be in the same dorm / just keep hanging out at each other's, etc

also just like, on its own, i always like the idea of jared also being able to Make Friends / have decent, positive, accepting Social Interactions via joining a club / being involved in some extracurricular type shit, where he Can be comfortable like "oh i'm here to Do Some Tasks so i get to be part of this group of people just by signing up, not by everyone else deciding they want me around" and then yknow, be spending time with this group of people that way, end up hanging out at various points kind of branching off of whatever Tasks are being done, and sort of gradually realize that people Don't Dislike him and can then catch on that maybe he has some potential friends here.........it's fun to think of him doing like, tech work for theatre, and also in the midst of all these theatre people he can like, fully realize Oh I'm Gay (and maybe get to fully process what went down there re: evan and his own Heartbreak there, like the fact that it Was heartbreak).......and to add the idea of Alana Being Friends with him during college, maybe a) she can hang out over in the theatre area sometimes while he's doing whatever and work on her own stuff but also get to interact with everyone else who might be around and b) if he gets any comp tickets she can get one and c) idk she can maybe also be Directly involved in helping out sometimes......

and also anyways getting all the way to This Point in the answer before mentioning that like, of course both jared and alana are gay and maybe haven't figured this out entirely by the events of Canon but sure could during college and could be each other's Supportive Friend, naturally if one of them figures it out first the other one is like wow great i'm such an Ally of that, boy it feels really great to Know i have a gay friend actually, b/c i'm Such An Ally......and then figuring it out for themself as well lmao like aha. hope they don't think i'm copying them lol...........also the one Jared And Alana "Dating" idea i permit is that maybe back in the day when neither of them were Aware of their own gayness they like, vibed with each other and were like "hmm is this Having A Crush?" and "dated" awkwardly for like a month or two or something (or less lol)......naturally they could've had this sort of experience with Anyone but like, the sort of underlying thing that the Affinity they mistook for "i wanna date this person" was them rly having the potential to be good friends and have a significant relationship that way. but then them having this real awkward "dating" experience probably would delay that for at least a little bit lmao like avoiding each other b/c even if it sure was just like, a not-that-dramatic mutual breakup, it's still uncomfortable and it's like "why didn't this work out at all"............but yeah the important part is they're gay and they're friends and if they are also good friends while they're figuring out the Being Gay stuff for themselves then that's just nice for them.....have this person be supportive and glad for you........

also and yknow there's the idea of "what if jared and evan start to make up in College Times and possibly kleinsen happens" and obviously being back in touch with evan would be both fraught for jared and alana even if they're in this place where it's easier to extend him some grace here, but they'd sure understand each other's misgivings and trepidation here even if they don't really lay out each and every Detail of like "yeah here's why and how i was hurt back in the day in tcp times".......and yknow, for jared it wouldn't have to be like "wow after i lost evan i've had No Friends and having him back in my life would mean i'm not completely alone anymore," which might help him take his time in contemplating / reflecting upon the situation lol. and who knows, alana might be down to accept an apology as well at least or something. but regardless of that concept Yeah jared and alana getting to be friends in college would be cool for both of them.

these are all broad sweeping concepts lmao instead of like any fun details or specific events / scenarios lol but yeah here are some Thoughts.......a real tl;dr is that it'd be nice if like, overall, both jared and alana felt like they had some more space in college to figure themselves out and feel less pressure to fit some precise role that will win them approval, and they find some Connection through each other and get to share that like, Figuring Themselves Out territory while being friends and getting some emotional support from each other, and they are gay

[kyouxa]

Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage: Ayato Sakamaki (Story 09)

I’m shocked how long this chapter took me? (^-^*)/

But here we are with our favorite troublemaker again!

Place: Orange Mansion - Ayato’s bedroom Yui: ...ngh...what..

Ayato: You're not kidding. You finally woke up

Yui: Ayato-kun! Why...!

Ayato: Why she asks, this is still my room. It’s only natural that I’m here.

Yui: (That’s right... yesterday, I was sucked here and I lost my consciousness...)

(He put me into his bed. Ayato-kun didn’t wake me up he just waited.)

Ah!

(My clothes are out of order... ! Everything is open enough to see through my chest)

(For the time being, let's try to close it so nothing can be seen by Ayato-kun)

Ayato: What are you doing. Chichinashi, you don’t need to hide them, they are tiny anyway.

Yui: You little! Don't hug me now! How dare you being so rude.

Ayato: Hehe, stop staring at me like that!

Yui: (I’m happy his memories returned, but it may be nice if he was a bit more gentle!)

Ayato: Hey, I’ve been scolded already.  Don’t you understand?

Yui: You deserved to be scold.

Ayato: Well then that’s for you.

Yui: Ughh

Ayato: Hah? What is it now.

Yui: H-Hey! What are you doing, it tickles! 

Ayato: That’s your punishment. I know you’re weak here. I won’t hold back today  

*Ayato tickles Yui* Yui: Haha, stop it... ! Stop, Ayato-kun!

(Like this, I feel like a child again... !)

Understood! Should I look at Ayato-kun? 

Ayato: Yes, that’s good. You’re finally looking at me again 

Yui: (Wow, right know I’m unbelievably happy?)

Ayato: Well, whatever.  So what should we do?

Yui: It's for now on, right? That’s right, what should we do.

Everyone's memories are missing and I don't know how to get their real memories back at all

Ayato: ... well. Do you know anything about the memory loss?

Yui: No. I don't know anything.

I tried to reflect on that day, but I was spending the day as usual at the Sakamaki mansion...

After that, I lost my memory

Ayato: The same goes for me. I’m supposed to fight against the others here

Yui: Do you remember anything about that?

Ayato: They told us『get Eve and become the king』

It’s squeezed in my head strongly. And now, I know it’s just a stupid story.

Until I got back to sanity, that was my own way to become the king.

Yui: I see, it was like that from your view

Ayato: Maybe the other guys are in the same condition

Yui: ... It isn’t normal that such things happen naturally

If someone did it on purpose, who is it and what’s their purpose... ?

*Ayato backs off*

Ayato: To be honest, I’m sure it was our father who did that

Yui: Karl Heinz-sama...?

Ayato: Absolutely! He always makes his own selfish crap!

Yui: (Ayato-kun really thinks it's Karl Heinz's doing)

(But certainly, no one else could be doing this)

Ayato: It's because he likes to play with us, I will catch him and make him pay for that! 

I will make sure to break his bones completely!

Yui: — but, how? We don’t know where Karl Heinz is hiding himself tho ...

Ayato: Ugh—! That is... if you think my idea is stupid, think about your own one!

Yui: Y-Yea. Thats right 

Choices

1) ー Is there a hint? (black) 

2) ー You should ask someone (white) ♡♡♡

— Is there a hint?

Yui: Hey, wasn't there something like a hint when your memories were weird?

Ayato: Thats what I don’t know! If we just think about a hint we‘re not getting anywhere further 

Yui: I see, that’s right 

(But if you're just thinking, you won't get an answer either...)

— You should ask someone ♡

Yui: If that’s the case, it might be better to ask someone

Ayato: That’s true but, everyone’s having strange memories would they be helpful?

It's not like I heard anything useful from those guys. 

Yui: I see, that’s right

Ayato: Well, it may be better then just waiting, though

end Choices 

Ayato: ... ugh. I thought too much and now my head hurts. 

Yui: Are you okay?

(He usually doesn’t worry that much)

...Reiji-san always solves those problems by using his head.

Ayato: That’s right. This guy really has a good working brain. Shit, why isn’t he here at such times! 

Yui: It can‘t be helped.  In is such a situation ...

....

Ayato: ....

That sucks! So, there’s my idea! To get informations we should go on a reconnaissance!

Yui: A reconnaissance!? Well, but...

Ayato: Is there any other way?

Yui: ....

(Yes, nothing will change unless we do something)

(If so, it might be better to go outside even if its dangerous)

Place: Orange Mansion — Storage

Yui: Hey, is it really okay to steal the supplies from the mansion? 

Ayato: That's fine. It’s better to be scolded by Ruki then dying hungry

Yui: (This is a weird situation, but I agree with Ayato-kun) 

(I don‘t know what will happen, that’s why I should bring some of these with me)

Ayato: Uh, this is enough.  It's almost time to leave, isn’t it? 

Yui: ... True

??? : What are you doing?

Yui: (Huh!? That’s bad, someone found us!)

Kanato: The two of you are hiding in here. Is it a new play?

Yui: Oh, Kanato-kun!

Ayato: What are you doing here?

Kanato: What are you thinking. I asked you first so you better answer me 

Ayato: Can’t help it. I can’t just let him go off and tell everyone 

Yui: What do you mean?

Ayato: I mean, I need to stop this guy. He’s definitely going to tell Ruki about that.

Yui: Maybe he is. But what will you do if he isn’t?

Kanato: Hey, what kind of consultation is that?

Ayato: Well, we can't do anything else.  If we leave him here ...

Kanato: Are you going somewhere or you came from somewhere, or are you going to go? Whatever it is, you know that Ruki won’t forgive you again?

Yui: Hmmm, I can agree to that... 

Kanato: Stop that! Why aren’t you answer my question!?

Ayato: You are so annoying! Just shut up!

*Ayato lifts Kanato*

Yui: A-Ayato-kun!

Kanato: Wait!  What are you doing!? Shut up and let me go!

Ayato: Let’s keep going

Yui: Y-Yes...

Kanato: Hey!  Don't ignore me!  Stop it!

Yui: (Can you really do something like this to Kanato?)

(But we can’t just leave him here. I'm sorry Kanato-kun!) 

Place: Outside — Forest

Kanato: For real, why do I have to get along with you?

Yui: (Kanato-kun, he’s mad ....  it’s natural that we were caught before we even knew about it)

(But we’re doing this for everyone’s memories)

Ayato: How long are you going to pout. Just give it up and accept it already 

Kanato: That’s wrong, I didn‘t come by my own intention.  Ayato has kidnapped me!

Ayato: I couldn't help it because you appeared there. It's your own fault that you came

Kanato: Oh, I’m not gonna talk anymore. Irritated asshole

Yui: Sorry, Kanato-kun. You can have those candies from the storage if you want tho?

See. I found those in the storage and if you want them you can have them 

Kanato: What?  How empty is your head.

Do you think I’m going to change my mood because of something like this? I might change it if you have cake

Yui: (Anything, but i don’t have cake)

Sorry. Because there were no other sweet thing’s then those, I hope you still take them...

Kanato: I won‘t say that I won‘t eat them.  Now hurry up and hand them over

Yui: Oh, is that so?  Well then

Kanato: For real... But please don’t misunderstand. Don’t think I‘m not mad anymore because of this.

Yui: (For the time being this will be fine .... we will walk together now)

Hey Ayato-kun, it’s nice that we got here, but where are you heading exactly?

Ayato: We will know soon. We‘re just going to walk for awhile now

Yui: What!

Ayato: It's okay, even if I don’t know the way, we‘re gaining information from just walking around

Yui: Oh, is that so... ?

(I think that theory is stupid, but he didn’t change with or without memories...)

*bushes rustling*

Yui: (Huh? Is there someone moving in the bush!?)

Ayato: ... ! Who?!

*Laito and Subaru appear*

Laito: Oh? I knew I smelled something delicious 

Subaru: Why is Eve in such a place like this

Kanato: Those guys, are violet members

Yui: Subaru-kun! Laito-kun!

Ayato: Kuku. What is it? Told you. The Information comes from right there

Yui: Y-Yeah. But it was just luck that they appeared around here

Ayato: Hey you, what are you two doing here?

Subaru: What? There is no reason to tell the enemies about that

Laito: Uhm, our big brother Carla was supposed to be here instead of us to check Eve‘s location

Subaru: Don’t say that! 

Laito: But, there is not enough information to steal Eve from you yet

Thats why Carla yelled at us to go and get some more information

So we were just on our way to reconnaissance around the Orange mansion

Subaru: After all, you are a guy who says something about our strategy to that little girl. 

Laito: Calm down~♪ It doesn't matter if you have enemies or allies, as long as we enjoy ourselves it’s fine.

Yui: (Yes that’s true. I guess Laito didn’t change)

Ayato: Ha, so that scarf dude is your big brother now. You should wake up from that strange shit! 

Are you going to keep those strange memories forever!? Remember who you are!

Laito: What is it? What do you mean?

Subaru: Tch, what’s with you?  It's annoying.  We will catch Eve and return home now.

*Subaru pulls his sword*

Yui: ....ah!

Wait, Subaru, Laito-kun! If you fight...

Ayato: That’s fine. You’re getting me fired up with your intension 

Yui: W-Wait!

(Although Laito and Subaru are both your true brothers—!)

Ayato: I’m even making you a great offer today.

If you win we‘ll obey you, if we win you‘ll obey us.

Besides, if you think about the offer, this is an unique chance

You guys are usually bashful and sloppy, so why not agreeing to it

Laito: Wait, what are you exactly telling us?

Ayato: I'm saying that I'm ashamed of you!  Come on, fight me now!

Kanato: Thats stupid, If you're going to fight, please do it on your own, I'm looking at it from here

Yui: (Hes really going to fight!? Is that okay? Those two are Ayato-kun's real brothers.) 

Subaru: Accepted. Please don‘t hesitate to cry if we destroy you completely.

Laito: That’s true. Well then, good luck, Subaru.

Subaru: Ah?  No, wait a minute. Why good luck, you’re also going to work hard.

Laito: Heh, that’s wrong.  I'm not really interested in fighting. Only those who want to fight are going to fight each other.

Subaru: Hah? What’s wrong with you!

Laito: That’s why you can enjoy that on your own.

Subaru: You‘re kidding me!

Yui: Those two really started a discussion over there.

Ayato: They‘re the same, even if they don't remember.

Yui: Yes, thats true... hehe!

(If they don't remember, they won't change completely back —!)

Hey you!  If it comes to an one-vs-one battle, why don't you fight with only your fists like real men?

(If I come up with such an idea, Subaru-kun might agree to that) 

(If it works, I may prevent them from being killed by a sword!)

Subaru: Hah?! What are you saying

Ayato: No, that’s interesting 

Yui: (... !)

Subaru: What are you saying to me! Why should this get so boring. Isn’t killing each other the interesting part?   

Yui: Instead of killing one another, why don’t we try it? It’s better to decide a fight like that.

Ayato: Certainly, it could be more fun to beat him without a weapon

— If I‘d hit your face directly with my fist it would look messed up too

What's up with you. You look like you‘re already afraid of losing against me. How pathetic.

Subaru: What was that? You’re going to regret those words

*Subaru drops sword*

Yui: (That’s good, Subaru-kun dropped his sword!)

Laito: Ahh. That was a cheap provocation.  Because Subaru is way too simple.

Ayato: Ha ha, that's it! Come on!

Subaru: Just wait you little shit!  

Yui: (Ayato-kun and Subaru-kun were always good brothers...)  

Ayato: Hey, are you already planing on losing?

Subaru: I don’t.

Ayato: Thats why, you should make sure to win against me or you two need to obey us.

Subaru: I know that and I won’t lose against you.

Laito: Hey Subaru-kun. Don't decide things on your own.

Subaru: Shut up, I can beat him! You better just watch silently!

Kanato: I wonder who will really win this.

Place: Forest — Wide area

Ayato: This Place seems good. Now, let’s start! 

Subaru: Ahhh— !

Yui: (Ayato-kun and Subaru-kun's serious battle started!)

Monologue

After those words, a conflicted battle between those two started. In front of us, we were watching the game, they were going wild like they‘d never see the sunlight again — I wonder much time passed already...

end Monologue

Laito: Hey when is this over?  

Kanato: I'm getting tired with it. Hurry up and give up already 

Ayato: Ahh... ahh...

Subaru: Agh... ahh... ugh... shit

*Subaru falls down*

Laito: Oh, so Subaru-kun lost ~

Ayato: Haha, it was obvious that I‘d win, ahh...

*Ayato falls down*

Kanato: Apparently Ayato also seems like he’s at his limit

Ayato: Ughh — shit

*Ayato collapses*

Subaru: fuck

*Subaru collapses*

Yui: Ayato-kun are you okay?!

Kanato: There is no need to panic. Those two idiots will definitely survive.

Laito: That's right.  Oh, what’s wrong?

Subaru: Shit, I was really the weaker one... you really are strong.

Ayato: That’s correct, there was no way you‘d win anyway .

Subaru: This time I’ve lost.  But, next time i‘ll beat you.

Ayato: That’s good, i‘m looking forward to it.

Subaru: So what were we fighting about again?

Ayato: Huh? What...

Yui: Huh! You forget already?!

(I wonder if he‘s done with all his energy ...?)

Laito: See, this is why I also have a hard time, Eve-chan

Yui: (... he wants sympathy) 

Place: Outside — Forest

Ayato: Hey loser, why don’t you walk a little faster.

Subaru: Stop calling me like that! I‘ll make sure to destroy you completely next time.

Yui: (He‘s so angry about losing, yet he seems to be fine with the situation)

Kanato: Please be quiet. Another noisy word and my temper will increase.

Laito: It has been like that for a while now.

Yui: (I just noticed, what’s actually up with Laito-kun?)

(We are now enemies so I don’t understand why he‘s so friendly and calm) 

Hey Laito-kun. I know that Subaru-kun lost the match, but why are you coming along?

Laito: Because, he said that not only Subaru-kun would be a servant if he’d lose the bet.

Besides, even if I'm going home to Carla, it would be hard to explain the situation, so this seems like more fun?

There are also cute girls like you here, right?

Yui: What?

Laito: I should get a taste from your blood as a reward for coming along, right?

Yui: Thats not good! Hey Laito-kun you should...

Ayato: Hey, you! What are you doing!

*Ayato pushes Laito*

Yui: Kya!

Laito: Seems like someone got triggered by my actions? I was just interested, just to let you know.

Ayato: Stay back! Or I’ll kill you

Laito:  I'm getting scared.  Don't take that too serious, it's a joke

Ayato: Shut up. Take a quick walk forward.

Yui: Ayato-kun, thank you for your help.

Ayato: You really are hopeless. Even if you think Laito is the same as always, he can’t remember anything about you.

That’s why I want you to walk besides me, he‘s so bothersome.

Yui: (He thinks so? Maybe Ayato-kun is just overreacting.)

(But this situation is way better then fighting to death against them)

Maybe, if we get closer to them all, we’ll be able to trigger their memories?

Someday, like Ayato-kun, they might get the chance to regain their memories.

Ayato: Well, it may be as you say

Until that, we will go over there.

Yui: Over there... ?

Subaru: So, where are we heading?

Ayato: The scarlet mansion.

Yui: What? Why?!

(I was wondering where we‘re heading already)

Ayato: Because, I remembered that fight I had while fighting with Subaru.

When my memories were still gone, I was shook by Shu and Reiji’s attack.

I felt that I need to thank you for saving me again. But I need to think about a strategy for Shu and Reiji.

Yui: (Yes, that means he’s going to fight Shu and Reiji-san again...)

(I‘d suggest trying to fight without weapons like he did right now but it would be difficult)

But, don’t try to fight them again like last time.

Ayato: Idiot, i‘ll be prepared this time.

Yui: ... is that so?

Ayato: The way to change this whole situation is bringing back their memories. Even if they won’t be as easy to catch as Subaru we still need to try our best. If we think about a strategy we can catch them.

Yui: (... Surely, if Reiji and Shu-san wouldn’t plan something about this situation too ...)

(Ruki-kun, talked a lot about the scarlet family, but don't remember it)

(But if there are two more brothers ... they might trigger any memory and they remember something—!)

That's right Ayato-kun! That may be a good idea.

Ayato: See? We just need a plan to knock them out and make them remember!

Yui: That’s! Can’t we try a more friendly way to make them remember without hurting them?

Laito: Hey, what exactly are they talk about?

Subaru: ... To be honest, I don’t know

Kanato: *sigh* I am already tired of this stupid bullshit

[realtalk-princeton]

To Maybach -- Anon 2023 again. Honestly, my other major option is Brown (and Penn, but that's out by now) and I'm concerned that I'd be sacrificing happiness if I choose Pton. "Happy" is a part of the Brown brand, whereas "ahhhhh" seems to be a part of Pton's. I want the name and the opportunities Pton would afford me. I suppose that's not a question, but how would you respond? Do you understand what I mean? Is it so awful to pick Pton 4 name/opportunity (in addition to the other stuff)

Sorry for the delay everyone, I just got caught up in a lot of obligations. Due to multiple popular demands from both pre-frosh and current students, I decided to structure my Brown and Princeton story in the following manner. In the first section, I’ll give my background context prior to starting college and my feelings throughout the years on the subject. In the second section, I’ll specifically address the above question in more detail with my many thoughts on key distinctions between the two schools. I think the combination will serve the purposes of everyone quite nicely. Lastly, if any pre-frosh ever want to talk to me, feel free to reach out and ask for my contact information. Or even better yet lol, I just remembered that PREVIEW started, so I guess it might be easier to just talk in person to me. I actually don’t even have class tomorrow haha. I just think that talking is sometimes easier than writing and also in these responses sometimes I have to speculate. For example, I can pretty safely state that if a pre-frosh is almost certain of being a pre-med, Brown is probably going to be a much less stressful experience, but I have no idea if this applies to you beforehand.

So anyway, even though it was four years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Boy time flies. I was not the most studios or stand-out HS student. I wasn’t the valedictorian or salutatorian of a rather small school far away from major cities. While some Princetonian HS students spent summer doing lab research at universities, I spent mine goofing off with friends and traveling. We used to actually have a bonfire at the end of the school year and burned stacks of our HW up to 4 feet high lol. When it came to applying to college, I did not actually even again acceptance to NYU or BC lol even though my stats were more than up to par. I guess maybe they were concerned that I wouldn’t be a very hard-working student. Luckily, I am very fortunate that despite coming from an extremely educated family (grandfather and mom went to Columbia, Dad went to Berkeley, etc.), my parents never put that much pressure on me. So as you can imagine, I was super excited when I heard that I got into Princeton, Brown, Cornell, and some other schools. For a period of time, I was actually getting ready to go to Brown. My SO at the time had committed to URI and I was psyched by the super expressive culture of Brown. Students prided themselves on being true to themselves and also took full advantage of freedom with responsibility. The location was close enough to NYC and some kids from my HS were already there. I always hated excessive structure and authority growing up and the prospect of 70%’s A’s granted, no +/I’s, and pass/failing anything was totally alluring! On a side note, I always laugh when they say that people don’t abuse pass/fail and use it only like 10-15% of the time. Well, maybe that’s because they’re already handing out A’s like it’s water and all A-’s become A’s haha. But anyway, I was psyched. Who wouldn’t want to live at camp Brown and take it easier than HS, but still be guaranteed a legit degree on your resume? However, after I visited Princeton, connected with a large number of alumni, and actually started putting real thought into my education, my perspectives slowly, but surely started to change. I think what I really underestimated was the power of the Princeton degree and how impressive our alumni network truly is. The people I met and still meet to this day are absolutely brilliant in several respects (e.g. they aren’t just nerds in one subject) and many are focused on maximizing their impact and allocation of influence in this world. The alumni donation rate is nothing short of incredible and the chance to be part of this network was alluring. I remember meeting a guy actually who got waitlisted and was already attending Duke when he got the chance to go to Princeton. He lived every moment to the fullest with his academic pursuits, the social network of brilliant, but diverse persons, and solid career plans. Anyway, it just became more clear to me over time that while Princeton was rigorous, it’s academic qualities could be much more intimate and engaged than Brown and the intellectual horsepower of its students (mostly) created truly incredible and impactful people. Jeez lol I forget sometimes how many alumni we have on the SC, in politics, business, arts, etc. At Brown, all they do is gush over Emma Watson in an almost cult-like way (sarcasm). But anyway, I was getting pushed as you can imagine, but I was still worried as I wasn’t the best HS student and grade deflation had literally only ended the year before. But eventually, the offer was just too good to pass up. Once you become a Princeton student, your life truly does change and people will treat you give you credit solely based on this fact (whether it’s right or wrong is another story). I remember before I even committed, I was hanging out at the Princeton Club in New York and a few days later some of the guys (who literally knew me for like a few days), invited me out and basically paid of lunch at Smith and Wollensky and lauded me on my “accomplishments” lol and how they could always be resources to bolster a Princetonian. Pretty soon after I committed.

As for answering your specific question, I’m already seeing red flags. Whenever you choose a school for the name, that’s setting yourself up for a bad time. Yes, our opportunities are better. Look at the difference in endowments lol. It’s like that for a reason even though they have way more students and more grad schools. It’s also reflected as well in our post-graduation salary averages. Brown is more creative with RISD and it’s curriculum, but that doesn’t always equal more opportunities. Princeton has the most power and resources of any university on a per-student basis and gives us an incredibly powerful brand and network. That said, you should probably explore why you want to go to Princeton other than the name and brand. One of the miserable people I know picked Princeton over another school because it was the “Best” school she got into and that’s just not fun when you didn’t research enough beforehand. By contrast, I know someone who turned down Harvard for a small liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere and she had an amazing time. If you feel like and click with Brown’s social scene, that’s another reason for not going to Princeton. Academically, Princeton is better for people who want rigor and want to truly maximize their learning in a short period of time and be around amazing minds. Our depth is much better than Brown’s and it shows with how strong our students are in critical thinking skills both inside and outside of their majors. However, there is a downside to this. For example, if you want to major in physics at Princeton, you better adapt fast or be damn good at it. You can’t just “love” physics and be relatively bad at it (compared to your peers) to succeed here because we teach you to be the best students possible from professors who literally wrote your book. At Brown, sure you don’t learn as much or go as deep, but you can major in almost anything because you just aren’t held to the same standards. So there’s a tradeoff. If I majored in Brown’s business program, let me just say that I would not NEARLY be perceived by others to be so intelligent (even though I’m not lol). I know the kids in the degree, it’s not like they are dumb, but jeez lol is it a joke a bunch of the time. Relating sociology to business for example on the surface can seem like a good idea that teaches people until you actually see what they’re writing and working on. I would probably have a 4.0 without working as hard too. And I don’t mean this to mean I’m like super smart or anything. It’s just not comparable to Princeton. However, I am super blessed and thankful that I did take Economics here seriously. The kinds of critical thinking skills and the ability to analytically dissect complex multi-faceted problems that I have developed serve me very well and I feel so rewarded. I literally got a position at a hedge fund with no experience at all because the interviewer liked how I wrote a research paper on guns an applied rigorous statistical analysis in many novel ways to answer new questions. This is no different in many ways than using public information using novel techniques to find value where nobody else sees it. But overall, I think that I’m feeling Brown for you unless you are willing to work harder here for greater depth of learning. I just want to say too though that despite me working hard, I still don’t pull-allnighters almost ever and I still have achieved very high grades. You don’t have to be a genius to do well here. Take it from me. I had piss-poor test scores (by Princeton standards) and was not a valedictorian, but if you are strategic and work reasonably hard and are disciplined, the work is more than doable. I don’t want to brag because I think it promotes bad culture, but you ought to know that a student like me can succeed academically and perform at the top of their class without working in the library all the time. So you should really evaluate what kind of learning experience you want and where you will be most likely to be happy and healthy. Some people just want a break after HS and don’t care about going super deep into their learning development. That’s totally fine, but then Brown is probably better (assuming you also like the culture). Some people would really abuse Brown’s system, not really learn, develop unhealthy and bad habits, and be kind of bored. In that case, Princeton is better. It really depends on you, but if all you see here for you is a name, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot coming here.

Anyway hope that all helps. I can answer specifics if you have them too.

Edit. also I realized how long this all is and noticed that maybe some of you should just call me or I can connect you with people I know who love Brown lol. It’s sometimes harder to write these things and express everything properly compared to like a 30-minute dinner conservasation. Just putting it out there. I’m also exhausted lol from staying up until 4am the past few nights for this huge deal coming up. I did this tonight so that I wouldn’t mess up my sleep schedule any further and avoid taking a nap lol.

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

[ponyvsthebottle]

A lot of shit happens in the lay of Turin Turambar, and you meet a real motherfucker of a dwarf named Mîm, but I'm going to cut right to the end because it's a real trip

Glaurung, father of dragons: BOY nothing like killing everybody and destroying literally an entire kingdom! I love that shit.

Some orcs, or the devil, or something who knows: yo you should also go ruin this tiny little village in the woods! I hear there are still some humans there.

Glaurung, lounging on a hoard of stolen elf-gold: Yeah okay because if there's one thing dragons love more than gold, it's needless violence!

SO GLAURUNG GOES OVER THE MOUNTAINS TO KILL A LOT OF PEOPLE FOR, REALLY, NO REASON AT ALL:

Turin Turambar, the master of fate: Ha ha, Glaurung! Get ready to be stabbed: by me!

Glaurung: Ha, nice try IDIOT but my back and head and sides and feet and every part of my body except the part that drags along the ground is completely immune to swords and spears!

Turin Turambar: Yo I'm in this pit you're standing over though.

Glaurung, with an evil sword in his tummy now: Drat.

Turin: Ha ha awesome that worked really well!

The splashing blood and venom of Glaurung in his death agony: goes directly into the eyes and mouth of Turin.

Turin: Hmm.

MEANWHILE:

Niniel: Where's my beloved husband Turin??? Last thing he said was "I'm off to slay Glaurung for sure."

Brandir, mayor of the little shitpot town that Glaurung was on the way to destroy, who has some real issues because he's too weak to fight and also Niniel is extremely beautiful: Oh he's dead probably sorta like anybody who goes out to fight dragons, and also you should be in love with me instead.

Niniel: I'm going to go find him!

AND SO SHORTLY NINIEL FINDS GLAURUNG, WHO IS 99% DEAD, AND ALSO TURIN WHO IS FACE DOWN IN A POOL OF BLOOD AND VENOM:

Niniel: Yikes.

Glaurung: Hey! Hey you! Come over here a second I want to tell you something.

Niniel: I mean, I wouldn't approach you normally, but you seem familiar.

Glaurung: Yeah well, we've met before. You probably don't remember it? But I definitely cursed you to completely forget your entire life up until and including that point. You had no idea what was going on, haha! You forgot how to talk and everything. I bet you were confused by what clothes were, even.

Niniel: Yeah I definitely took all my clothes off to escape the orcs, but I was rescued by a dude who found me crying on top of a grave. That's why he called me Niniel! It's elfish for "woman of tears".

Glaurung: Okay that's kind of weird, but, uh, whatever. Anyway here's the deal - the guy who rescued you? The father of your unborn child?

Niniel: my what

Glaurung: The guy facedown in that blood pool there? Yeah he's your brother, Turin. Your actual factual oniisan.

Niniel, who is actually called Nienor fyi her mother didn't call her "tear maiden" she called her "mourning" which on reflection isn't much better: AHHHHHHHHH

Readers: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHORTLY:

Turin: Woof! Falling asleep face down in a bunch of blood and venom sure sucks! Say, where's my beloved wife Niniel?

Brandir: She killed herself jumping into a river, maybe because she thought you were dead, but maybe because she realized you were actually her brother what the fuck dude

Turin: WOW Brandir you've been shitty all my life and I'm tired of it! I'm going to stab you with my evil sword so you won't spread your weird-ass hatefics about me anymore.

Brandir: wtf rude

SO TURIN GOES LOOKING FOR NINIEL:

Turin: Yo elf! Have you seen Niniel?

Mablung: Oh yeah she dead. Jumped in a river to kill herself! She was like "I'm so sad that my husband was my brother!" It was wild.

Turin: Oh shit Brandir was telling the truth this whole time! And I stabbed him to death while calling him a liar. I just feel sad as a map about this.

Turin's evil sword: YEAH THAT WAS A PRETTY FUCKED UP THING YOU DID, MY MAN

Turin: What do you say, evil sword, how would you like to do one more murder

Turin's evil sword, which, fun fact, is one of two swords forged by Eöl, who I have already introduced: HAHA YO I'M ALWAYS UP FOR MORE MURDERS

Turin: Time to die then! For me.

Turin's evil talking sword which has not talked at all until this point in the story, I really do just want to emphasize that, there's no other talking swords in the Silmarillion, but this one literally talks to him: DOPE.

AND SO FALLS TURIN TURAMBAR IMPALED ON HIS EVIL SWORD:

Some shitkicker: Yo, his last name means "Master of fate", but we should definitely comically invert that on his tombstone. How's this: "Master of fate, by fate mastered."

A second shitkicker: That sounds like a great epitaph to give the guy who literally killed Glaurung, the father of dragons and the unstoppable killing machine who has ravaged the fields of middle earth for like, decades.

First shitkicker: FINE GEEZ "Dagnir Glauranga" are you happy now.

MEANWHILE, IN THE DEVIL'S HOUSE:

The devil: Yo I think your entire family is dead and miserable now did you see?

Hurin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The devil: Yeah so uh you can go now I guess now that you're a broken man.

Hurin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH