#.....why does my computer have to insist i update every 5 seconds

[thedrumsoflurkernation]

my favorites from the 47 cruise CD. :)

[kodzukuroken]

Seasons change, but people... Do too I guess.| Chapter 1, Watercolour Cats

Genre: Angst, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers

Summary: You and Tsukishima had been friends for years but upon the arrival of a very special invitation, your relationship takes a sudden change. Will your long-harbored crush for your best friend finally come into the light? Or will your relationship be altered for good?

Aka, Reader is an artist who is in love with Tsukki, there's angst, there are laughs, there are three established captain relationships! What could a person want?

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei x Reader (Kuroo Tetsuro x Kenma Kozume, Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji, Daichi Sawamura x Sugawara Koshi)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing, Eventual Smut

Read on Ao3 | This will update before Tumblr

This is the second chapter! I really love writing this story, there are currently 5 chapters out on AO3, so if you’d like to read past this chapter that’s where you can do it! Enjoy!

You screeched, audibly screeched when you’d first opened the beautiful pearl coloured envelope with gold embossed letters on the front. It was exactly what you thought it might be, but that didn’t mean that you could contain your excitement any easier. Inside the envelope was a card littered with small watercolor paintings of cats (your handy work, by the way) with beautiful gold lettering that read:

“Dear (Y/L/N Y/N) you are cordially invited to the wedding of your friends,

Kuroo Tetsurõ and Kenma Kozume.

Saturday 18th at 3’oclock.”

Below was the information about RSVP and plus-ones, but you knew all the information already; you were just excited that the invite had finally arrived. You’d known that Kuroo was going to propose for months but just hadn’t had the right opportunity yet. You also knew that the only way he could agree to Kenma going ahead with a real wedding was if he planned everything in advance so that he didn’t have to worry about meetings with florists or bakers. So that's what he’d done, with the help of you and a few others Kuroo had planned his and Kenma’s entire wedding before he even popped the question. Of course, there was no doubt in anyone’s head that Kenma would say no. He and Kuroo had begun dating right after high school and it was about time that they made some kind of commitment. But once every detail was planned and every deposit had been paid, the only thing left for Kuroo to do was to ask. You’d begged him to call you when he eventually popped the question, but he’d just laughed and said

“I love you (y/n) but I think it would kind of ruin the moment if I suddenly celebrated my engagement by calling you. I’ll send out the invites the next morning, you’ll know by the end of the week”. And that you had, the invite had arrived in the mail the very next day after Kuroo had said he would propose, and you could not be giddier.

You took out your phone and called the most recent contact in your phone, the phone trilled for a second and then a very bored voice picked up.

“I told you not to call me at work, I don’t have time to chat with you during the day,” Kei said, but made no attempt to hang up the phone so you proceeded.

“Kei! Did you get it? Did you get yours?” you squealed. You could hear him tensing up at the tone on the other end.

“And what exactly is that I’m supposed to have got?” He asked as if this wasn’t something you’d both been waiting for for weeks. Well, more so you than Kei, but he’d had to listen to you talk about it constantly.

“Your invite Kei. Did you get your invite?” you heard him click his tongue and the shuffle around his desk a little. He read the same words that were on your invite out loud.

“You are cordially invited to the wedding of your friends, Kuroo Tetsurõ and Kenma Kozume.”

“Yes!”

“I’m not going,” he replied completely uninterested in your excitement. You scoffed,

“You abso-fucking-lutely are Tsukishima Kei” you knew he would be difficult about this, even though he helped plan the fucking thing.

“It's all unnecessary. They’ve been together for years, why have a party now?”

“It’s not a party, Kei. It’s a wedding ” you clarified.

“Same difference, besides who puts cats on a wedding invite. Their heads are weirdly shaped too.”

“I drew those cats you asshole!”

“I know,” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Keeeei” you begged.

“No”

“Pleeeeeaaase,” you begged again. He was silent this time and let you continue “We haven’t done anything fun in months. Besides, you’re Kuroo’s friend too and I know for a fact that he wants you there, plus-” you paused.

“Go on,” he pressed as if he already knew what was coming.

“I think this will really help me get over Ren,” you say. You can feel him rolling his eyes, Ren was your boyfriend of the past three years and you’d broken up just over a month ago. You were devastated when it happened but never really got an explanation as to why it did. Kei had found you after a couple of days of no replies sitting on the floor of your apartment weeping. He’d sat with you all night, letting you vent, before sending you to shower and buying you dinner. You hadn’t talked about it since then.

“Oh my god”

“It's true!”

“What does that have to do with me?” he asked, you could hear him typing on his computer now. He’d obviously realized that you weren’t going to let him get back to work.

“Because Kei! It's a wedding, I can’t go alone, that would be pathetic!”

“So you’re asking me to be your date now?” there was a small amount of evil delight in his voice, but you didn’t waver.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” He paused and you waited in the silence.

“Fine, but you’re paying for gas and buying dinner when the food is crappy” you squealed again and he huffed.

“Thank you Kei! You’re the best!” He didn’t reply, just hung up. You stood in your quiet apartment beaming to yourself, you had to call Kuroo.

You spent what felt like weeks planning for the wedding. Finding the perfect gift, making sure that Kei actually had something nice to wear, you even made him come along to help you pick out a dress which he was the opposite of thrilled about. You were about four dresses deep when you finally came out in a small dark green number, it hugged your waist well and the skirt was plenty full for a wedding.

“What about this one?” you turned to Kei who was sitting in a chair just outside the dressing room tapping through his phone boredly. He took one fairly indifferent glance at you and said

“It’s good.” You sighed and smoothed the fabric against your palms, in his defense this was the best answer you’d gotten all day.

“Really?” you asked, “you don't think its too-”

“Slutty?” he interrupted an evil grin on his lips. You hit him across the back of the head.

“I was going to say revealing” you turned to look at the back of the dress, it did cut a little shorter than you’d usually like. You sighed and waited for him to reply. He looked you up and down again and rolled his eyes.

“It’s shorter than the rest, yes but not by much. Plus it's a summer wedding” a rather pleased smile grew across your face. He saw how delighted you were with his genuine reasoning behind the choice.

“I’ve been around you long enough to know what kinds of things you like to hear,” he said plainly “Don’t start thinking that I actually care about what you wear.” But you just kept your bright smile and bounced back into the dressing room to change. You had your dress, now all you had to do was actually get him to go.

When you got to the wedding that day, you weren’t exactly shocked at how beautiful it looked. Rather, you were just reminded of the incredible taste that Kuroo had hiding somewhere in the back of his dumb jock brain. The wedding was simple, minimal flowers with lots of white and small red accents everywhere. Both Kuroo and Kenma wore black with small red hibiscus in their lapels. The ceremony was short, intentionally you figured so that Kenma didn’t have to stand in front of so many people for too long. But he looked probably the most relaxed you had ever seen him while not sitting in front of his computer, it was pretty amazing really. You and Kei sat near Bokuto and Akaashi, one of whom cried the entire way through the ceremony. You’d laughed quietly when Kei turned to Bokuto next to him and whispered

“I never pegged you as the romantic type Bo” Bokuto looked at him through teary eyes and nodded his head in response. Akaashi laughed and placed his hand on Bokuto’s to calm him a little.

Before you knew it the ceremony was ending, and just as the priest was finishing up his last words you turned to Kei and asked him something softly.

“You don’t actually believe that do you?” you asked, just loud enough for him to hear.

“Believe what?” he asked in a low voice.

“What you said on the phone before, do you really think that weddings are unnecessary?” He thought for a moment, and then shrugged just enough for you to see.

With that, Kuroo and Kenma were kissing lightly and a small blush was rising in Kenma's cheeks, the whole room erupted in applause and the two began to walk down the aisle. As you rose to leave, Kei’s lips found their way to your ear again

“I suppose it works for some people, you know if you find the right person.” The words sent electricity down your spine, what was he insinuating?

The reception was a little more Kuroo and Kema than the wedding had been. There was apple pie instead of cake and a small row of arcade games in the corner of the room, something that Kuroo had been insistent on in order to do something for Kenma. After everyone gave their speeches and the “surprisingly not the crappy” food was served ( Kei’s words not yours). Everyone began to make their way to the dancefloor besides the two of you and a few others. You watched as Bokuto swung Akaashi around wildly while Akaashi merely complied with whatever his boyfriend was doing with a small smile on his face. There were a few of the guys from Kei’s old volleyball team here, but he made no attempt to talk to any of them. It wasn’t until a tall boy with dark hair and freckles made his way over to the table that the two of you even noticed he was there.

“Yamaguchi!” you cried, completely delighted. He smiled kindly and wrapped you in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you!”

“You too (y/n)! It’s good to see you too Tsukki!” Yamaguchi paused for a response.

“Hey” Kei offered and you rolled your eyes. Yamaguchi just chuckled.

“You haven’t changed Tsukki I can tell you that” you laughed along with Yamaguchi before it was Kei’s turn to roll his eyes at you.

“I’m getting a drink, do you guys want anything?” Yamaguchi shook his head, but you offered to go with him. The two of you headed to the bar, pushing through the large crowds to a man in a vest and tie who was serving the drinks. Kei ordered for the both of you and you stood close to him you both watched the bartender make your drinks.

“You could be a little nicer to Yamaguchi you know,” you said it lightly but he knew you were serious.

“I was plenty nice,” he replied, his eyes on anything but you.

“Kei, he was your best friend i-”

“Yeah, in high school, but we’re not in high school anymore are we?” he was a little more pointed this time, and you felt it in your chest.

“So what? We were friends in high school and we still are now, or is that not what we are?” Kei was silent for a minute and met your eyes with his golden ones, you could see that he was thinking but you weren’t exactly sure about what.

“No,” he replied.

“No?”

“No, that's not what we are. You’re just the crazy girl who seems to have never left me alone since first year” he smiled into his newly freshened drink and you scoffed.

“Well that's just rude,” you whipped your head around dramatically, trying to act outraged. You heard him chuckle and it made your cheeks warm.

Then you felt his finger tapping your elbow, you sighed and tried to look distant and dramatic.

“I’m not talking to you until you apologize Kei,” you said and suddenly felt him pressed close to your back. Your heart raced and blush rose up your neck as you felt every inch of him pressed against you, if you didn’t know him any better you would have thought he might be enjoying it as much as you did. With that, he leaned down to your height and brought his mouth to your ear for the third time today.

“Let’s dance.” Your eyes widened as you twisted around, you looked at his face that had returned to it’s normal height.

“You don’t dance,” you said, eyes narrowed. He sipped his drink again.

“No, but you do and it’s a wedding.” You still looked unsure so he rolled his eyes “Plus it’s a slow song which is safe and it will get you to stop sulking” you couldn't argue with that.

You let him guide you over to the dance floor where everybody else was swaying in each other's arms. You smiled, a little nervous, you always liked to dance at parties but you were never much of a slow dancer. But you let Kei pull you in effortlessly and place his hand on your hip and hold your other hand in his. You brought your spare hand to his shoulder and let him guide you around the dancefloor slowly. For someone who didn’t ever dance, Kei was surprisingly good at it, it had even left you a little flustered when he managed to spin you around flawlessly in time with the music. You smiled up at him, and figured your look must have been an intrigued one because he asked,

“What?” you held your tongue for a minute but figured it was safe to address it.

“You can dance” your voice had more disbelief in it than you intended and Kei rolled his eyes.

“It would seem so, yes”

“I didn’t know you could dance” he spun you around again before you could say anything else and then came close to your ear again.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me (y/n)” your breath hitched in your throat before you brought your head to rest on his shoulder, deciding it was too dangerous to antagonize him when he had you in such a state.

When the song ended, Kei stopped and you looked up at him. His golden eyes looked softer than you had ever seen them, the light of the hotel ballroom bouncing off his glasses just enough to make them twinkle. Your heart swelled as you thought about the last seven years of your friendship together and finally, the words he’d said to you at the wedding earlier that day returned to your head.

“I suppose it works for some people, you know if you find the right person”.

Your heart stopped, how could you have been so stupid.

He was just about to ask if you were okay when you grabbed his hand and mumbled something that sounded like “Come with me”. Before you knew it you were out in the quiet hallway, the music from inside muffled by the large doors, it was cool out here and you shivered a little from the sudden change.

“(y/n)?” Kei asked, he sounded a little annoyed but confused more than anything.

“Just, give me a second Kei,” your own voice was muffled in your ears. Everything suddenly felt completely hazy but also clear as day. God, how could you be so stupid? All these years you’d been trying to preserve your friendship, thinking that Kei had no interest in you whatsoever but you knew now that wasn’t true. He’d come with you tonight, he’d laughed with you and held you while you danced together. He liked you.

~

“(y/n)? We can go, leave, if you’re not having a good time” he began “seriously if you’re going to be we-”. He was cut off by your lips crashing into his. He was tense for a moment, completely confused as to what the fuck was happening. But when he felt your hand lace into his hair, he relaxed a little. You stood there holding each other in a kiss for what felt like an eternity before breaking away to breathe. You looked deep into his eyes and smiled, your eyes were filled with tears. But Kei was too dumbfounded by what had just happened to even notice, he looked on at you blankly trying to process what had just happened.

“Kei?” he looked at you for real this time, fully coming to terms with what had just happened. You’d kissed him.

“I can't do this” he heard himself saying before he could even think about it.

“What?” he knew you’d heard him. “Kei what are you talking about, isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. Fuck, what was he doing?

“Then what’s wro-”

“We can’t. Not now, I can’t” before he knew it he was backing away from you. He cursed himself as his arms disconnected from your waist.

“I’m sorry,” you said, you were crying fully and his heart tore in two, “I thought this was what you wanted”. You were looking down at your shoes now, just like he used to watch you do when you were younger. God, he was an idiot.

“I’m sorry (y/n), I just ca-”

“ Can’t. I fucking get it Kei” you spat at him eyes averted. He’d never seen you look this broken in his life and he’d caused it. You turned away from him and began to shake, all he wanted to do right now was hold you. Hold you, and apologize and kiss you again, but he couldn’t. After another beat of silence, you sniffled and turned your head just enough so he could hear your broken words.

“Just go Kei. Leave, please”. His heart shattered at the finality of your words, but he did as you said and left without another word.

~

After you heard the large door to the wedding swing shut behind you, you began to sob. You tried to stop yourself, you told yourself to breathe, but any air that came out of you was broken and hitched. At some point, you had managed to walk yourself over to the large spiral staircase nearby and perch yourself on the steps, before crumbling into tears again. How could you have been so stupid? Of course, Kei didn’t want you, you’d been friends for years if he was in any way interested in you by now he would have done something. God you were an idiot. In one night you had managed to lose your best friend just by giving into a feeling that you’ve been harbouring for years.  You thought about how sad he looked, how confused and shocked his face was as you pulled away. You thought about how your heart shattered when he pulled his hands from your hips. What the fuck had you done? You’d ruined everything.

You sat for what felt like forever, weeping silently to yourself when eventually you heard the doors to the wedding swing open again. There was a small part of you that had prayed he’d come back. That he’d just been scared and that he really did want to be with you, but you weren’t so lucky. You looked up from where you sat and there in the doorway was Bokuto, the smile fading from his face as he saw the tears coating your own. He rushed over to you.

“Hey, hey, hey, what happened are you okay?” he sat next to you and put a hand on your knee, but the sudden comfort just made you cry even more.

“I-it’s K-Kei” you managed to get out after a few minutes.

“What happened? Was he an asshole to you? God that fucking guy” Bokuto put his arm around you and began to curse Kei out, but you shook your head.

“N-no, it was me. I r-ruined it Bo” you sniffled your head resting on his chest now.

“Ruined what (y/n)?” he asked innocently as if your whole world hadn’t crumbled around you not ten minutes ago.

“Us. Me and h-him, everything we had. It’s gone.” Bokuto sighed and pulled you in closer.

“Don’t be crazy, you guys have been friends since high school. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad” you shook your head again.

“I ruined it, Bo. I ruined it”. Those were the only words you managed to get out for the rest of the night. At some point, Bokuto had carried you up the spiral staircase of the hotel to a room. He placed you on the bed lightly and then sat down on the one next to you.

“Stay here with me and Kaashi tonight, we’ll keep an eye on you”. You nodded, too weak to protest. He sat on the bed next to you for a while, just watching. Eventually, your eyes grew too heavy for even tears to fight off and you fell into an unrestful sleep.

The next morning, you awoke to dappled sunlight dancing across your face. For a moment, you had completely forgotten what had happened between you and Kei last night, it wasn’t until you heard a familiar voice whispering somewhere nearby that it all came flooding back.

“I don’t know Kaashi, she wouldn’t say. She just kept saying she’d ruined things” it was Bokuto. You cringed and tried to squeeze your eyes closed even tighter to make it go away.

“Do you think he tried something?” it was a different voice now, one a little softer than Bokuto’s, you heard Akaashi sit down on the bed next to you.

“No, I doubt it, Tsukki’s an asshole but not that type” there was a silence, you figured that they were looking at you. This was as good a time as any to make your presence known. You sat up slowly and groaned a little. You were met by Akaashi’s soft eyes, and Bokuto’s expecting ones.

“Hey,” you said, voice a little hoarse from all the crying last night. Akaashi handed you a warm mug.

“Here, tea will help” and smiled up at him softly.

“Thanks, I’m sorry if I intruded on you guys last night” you took a sip of the tea and tried to focus on how warm it made you feel.

“Oh don’t worry about that” Bokuto said, a little too loudly for your sensitive head, “we’re just worried about you that's all”.

“Bo” Akaashi snapped trying to be quiet about it.

“It’s ok, I appreciate your guys’ concern,” you said, setting you tea on the side and getting up to stretch. Akaashi nodded and sipped from his own mug.

“Are you okay then?” he asked, you hadn’t expected the question to hit you so hard. You plopped back down on the back.

“No,” you could only be honest here, they’d already seen the kind of state you were in last night. Bokuto sighed and came to sit next to you,

“You have to tell us what happened (y/n), did he do something?” you shook your head hard, you didn’t want there to be any confusion as to who was at fault here.

“He didn’t do anything, it was me” Bokuto looked confused because he knew Kei, and he knew the kind of asshole he could be and he never expected that you could have been the one to cause this damage.

“I kissed him” you peeked over to look at both Bokuto and Akaashi, but they were both staring at each other silently.

“And that's bad because?”

“You don’t understand Bo, I kissed him and I didn’t say anything at first I thought he liked me, between the wedding and the dress and the dancing” you were on your feet pacing around the room now “and then what he said, a-at the reception I thought it meant something”.

You looked to Bokuto and Akaashi for some kind of understanding but you were left with two vacant looks. You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“I led him out into the hall after we danced, and I kissed him” you closed your eyes, replaying everything in your head “and he… he rejected me. He pushed me away and said he couldn’t. I tried to push him for a reason but he just kept saying he couldn’t. And then he left”.

You looked at Bokuto and Akaashi again and now their faces looked solemn. You laughed bitterly

“I never should have assumed he liked me”.

“(y/n) no!” Bokuto said Akaashi put his hand on his boyfriend’s knee attempting to calm him, but it was to no avail.

“It’s Tsukki, he’s always had feelings for you! The two of you belong together!”

You were completely taken aback by Bokuto’s words, you’d know you’d always thought these things secretly but you had no idea that anybody else could see it. But then you remembered Kei’s face after you asked him why, he looked so confused and betrayed he couldn’t possibly have thought the same things that you and Bokuto had, you were wrong.

“He doesn’t want me, Bo, I ruined it” tears began to sting your eyes again, luckily Akaashi interrupted just in time.

“Why don’t we take you home yeah?” you nodded and the two guys pulled you into a smothering hug.

“It'll be ok, (y/n). You guys will figure it out” you couldn’t make out which one of the guys this had come from, but dear god you hoped they were right.

[msephy]

Upbringing chap 9/13

The story is done! I’ll post the rest of the chapters one by one in the next few days :)

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

Cross-posted to AO3

Earth 53 - Jason Todd

They arrived too late. When Batman and Jason did eventually find the cache where the League of Shadows had settled while in Gotham, not too far from Talia’s sighting, it was empty. It would even have been hard to find traces of their passages if not for Batman’s top-notch technology – and a few things Jason had in his gear that came from having a timeline slightly ahead in time.

Bruce didn’t swear, but the set of his shoulders spoke volumes.

“Robin,” he called in the com. “Open up a map with all known League hideouts.”

“Can you send that to the Batmobile?” Jason asked suddenly. “Our worlds aren’t that different. Maybe there are a few I know that you don’t.”

“Too risky.”

“You mean that we have too many places to check as it is,” Jason translated. “Except most of those will be pointless, because Ra’s probably knows you know about them.”

Bruce pursed his lips. Jason shrugged. “It’s worth a try?”

“Fine. Robin, prepare and send the data. ETA, seven minutes.”

He fired his line without any wasted words. Jason followed, heading back to the Batmobile, frowning slightly. Bruce retreated in himself when he was hurt, or worried. That made him look cold, but it was just a defense mechanism. How had Jason not noticed before?

Because this younger Bruce was easier to read? Or because he was less emotionally involved himself.

They didn’t talk, not to slow down, and landed each on a side of the car. Jason slipped in it and absentmindedly glanced at the time. They did take seven minutes to reach it.

“Robin, status.”

“Hang on. Here, did you get it?”

The batmobile’s built-in computer opened into a world map where several dots appeared.

“Yes,” Bruce confirmed while Jason tried to zoom in.

That thing wasn’t up to his standards of technology, but he still managed after a while.

“How do we select a destination?” Jason asked.

“Didn’t you want to add your own?”

“I don’t have a computer in my brain. Talking it out would help.”

Though Jason had a bad feeling about this one. If he was right… Bruce started talking about the closest pits but they both knew Ra’s wouldn’t take Damian there: the ones around Gotham were the ones where the Bat would have the most control. Yet if his body was deteriorating quickly, Bruce thought out loud, he might not have the luxury of a choice.

Then Dick interrupted through the com. “I just received a signal from a plane. Small one, privately owned. It’s already far from the coast, heading East.”

“Can you track it?” Bruce asked.

“No, it only latest thirteen seconds; not long enough for me to use it to hack my way in. Sorry.”

“It’s enough, though,” Jason said. “They’re leaving the continent for sure, and if they are willing to take the time to cross the Atlantic, then I know where they’re going.”

“You’re thinking about their headquarters in Bhutan?”

“No,” Jason shook his head. “The place you’re referring to is their training grounds. They have many more hideouts in the mountains, especially in Tibet.”

Jason could head Bruce frown. “Just drive. We need the plane in any case.”

Thankfully, Bruce didn’t protest, starting the car and accelerating. They’d reached the highway when he talked again. “Tell me more about this place.”

“There is not much to say. The infrastructure is big enough to host Ra’s usually guard of followers and private enough that they won’t be distracted by the League’s internal politics.”

“And you know about it, because…?”

“The League had reasons to trust me the way they don’t trust you. I’m carrying guns, what did you expect?”

Bruce’s disapproval transpired through his every pores. Jason couldn’t care less, especially not when it gave them invaluable intel.

“Are you sure they’re there?”

“Of course no, I’m not sure,” Jason spat. “And you know it. But Talia should find a way to communicate with us again, given the chance. If we’re close enough to act, then we’ll be able to strike. They won’t expect us to know the layout of the place, or even where it is situated at all.”

“Don’t rely on your knowledge of this place in another world too much.”

“Any better ideas?”

Bruce, of course, didn’t answer. The trip continued in silence. Why was Jason even worried? He barely knew the brat. Besides, he’d really brought that on himself, running away like this.

But Damian was a Robin, even if he didn’t bear the name in this world. And a kid, of course.

Then an icon blinked on the monitor, indicating someone was trying to reach Batman – and that that someone was Superman. Bruce took the communication.

“Superman,” Bruce greeted in Batman’s voice. “I’m in the Batmobile with Jason Todd, we’re listening.”

“Hello, Batman, Mr Todd. I have good news. We have found some promising information about the multiverse, from one of Green Lantern’s contacts. We found a Dr Lrvnjrnz who might be able to help us. He’s willing to come on Earth to discuss it further.”

“We don’t have the time for this shit right now,” Jason said without hesitating. “It will have to wait.”

Bruce glanced at him briefly, before concentrating on the road again. For the first time since Jason arrived, he saw his shoulder relax, just so slightly.

“Agreed,” Bruce said. “We’re busy with an emergency, Kal, I’ll call you back.”

“I’m not sure Dr Lrvnjrnz will still be available.” Superman’s tone was interrogative.

Surely, Bruce would be able to save Damian without him. And people on his side were likely not looking to bring him back.

Somehow, it was the easiest decision Jason had ever made.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jason said. “We’ll call you back when we have time, Superman.”

And he cut the communication.

###

Earth 1 – Jason Wayne

Was everyone on this Earth old, stern and marked by pain? Jason wondered, when he saw the face of Kal El appear on the Batcomputer’s monitor. Maybe it was just age. Maybe it was just Kal. He’s always been quite apt at putting on the façade of the Man of Steel. Probably a good skill to cultivate, when one faced Lex Luthor regularly.

But still.

“From our readings, it appears an anomaly occurred three days ago. A rift. We couldn’t trace the origin, it might have nothing to do with either of the worlds involved.”

“You mean like that time with Prime.”

“Something like that, though of a much lower order of magnitude. I’ve scanned the area, I see no trace of foreign particles, except in the Cave.”

“That would be me,” Jason mused. Kal looked at him for the first time since the conversation started, and he smiled his most Lutherian smile. “Hello, Kal El, nice meeting another version of you. My apologies if I don’t follow multiverse etiquette, it’s my first encounter with it, I’m afraid.”

Kal nodded. “Nice to meet you too, Mr Wayne.”

Jason grimaced; he even saw Bruce wince. “Jason, please. There is no need to be formal. I’m glad to hear you detected the cause, but does this lack of details mean we won’t be able to reproduce the effects?”

“It won’t be needed,” Kal reassured him. “Inverting the two of you would require a comprehension of the multiverse that we don’t have, but opening a portal to another Earth should be doable.”

Jason let out a breath. He was going to see his little brother again, and his two nephews from hell. He hadn’t intended to stay even if there hadn’t been a way: he would have found one. But still, it was nice to hear that would happen sooner rather than later.

“Thank you, Kal El.  That’s a relief.”

“It’s still a delicate operation, not something we can do every day without causing further instabilities. Especially since we aren’t sure of the cause in the first place.”

“I’m bringing Jason back,” Bruce said, his tone definitive. There was no asking to which Jason he referred. He wasn’t about to leave his adoptive son in another world, however welcoming it might be.

“Two openings should be enough for our system to support. But we can’t make it portable.”

“We can’t leave from the Watchtower, we’d end up in space,” Jason commented.

“No, indeed,” Kal agreed. “We’ll have to move the necessary machinery to our headquarters on Earth. As some of it is delicate, it won’t be ready until tomorrow.”

“That’s a date,” Jason commented absentmindedly, before noticing the absolute shock on Kal’s face. He laughed. “Just an expression, Superman, except if you actually are interested?”

“I’ll have to decline. Batman, Mr… Jason. I’ll keep you updated on the move.”

“Thank you, Kal,” Bruce said, nodding at him.

Kal nodded back then cut the communication. Jason turned to Bruce. “Anything I can help with in the meantime? I’ll need distraction from the wait.”

“You’ve been helping already”, Bruce answered.

“Handling your files is something I can do in my sleep. And it’s probably best if I don’t get too involved in your nightly activities, at least, I shouldn’t go out in person too often. Though accompanying Dick was… interesting.”

“You ran into trouble?”

“You know we didn’t. Nightwing is amazing, as you already know, but it has to be noted.”

Bruce didn’t quite smile, but Jason could see the warmth in the way his shoulders relaxed, his head almost nodding in approbation. His cowl did make it harder to read his expressions, though.

Jason frowned. “You’re not coming in the gear, by the way, are you? We won’t want to Batmen crossing paths, or even just criminal thinking you’re my brother and attack you because of something he did.”

The card which hung above their heads was kind of hard to miss. They also had a Joker around. Maybe he wasn’t as possessive and manipulative in this world than in his? Or maybe this Bruce had been caught in the clown’s parody of a courtship. Either way, he didn’t want them to cross paths.

Bruce’s frown was visible despite his mask.

Jason snorted.

“You can take gear if you insist. But, really, you could just wear jeans and a t-shirt and nobody is going to recognize you. You’re ten years older than Bruce, even if you weren’t a good actor.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“The hell you are. It’s my world we’re going to, and it will be my rules.”

Jason smiled to soften the blow, but his tone was adamant. Bruce grumped, which meant he didn’t want to agree out loud but still would go along.

“Any idea on how to find your Jason Todd when we’re there?” Jason asked. “I mean, if he contacted my brother it will be easy, but otherwise?”

“He’s not the most subtle person,” Bruce sighed. “If he doesn’t actively try to stay hidden, he shouldn’t be hard to pinpoint. There are good chances he went straight to the Cave, though. Despite our differences, he would have known contacting your brother was his best chance of finding his way back.”

That was the most words Jason had heard him say, and he didn’t miss the tension in the last sentence. “You think he might not want to come back?”

Bruce pointedly didn’t answer, removing his cowl to sit at the computer instead. Which was an answer per se. Though, well; a supervillain. Jason would always remember the face of the local Alfred when he’d opened the door to see him standing there.

He shuddered.

Then he pulled through it and joined Bruce, standing at his right hand. “Care to hear about what my Gotham is like? I was up to date with the latest criminal developments when I got here.”

Bruce didn’t answer for a long while, typing in the document he’d opened. Then, finally, he closed it and opened a new, blank page – then nodded, one.

[jaimistoryteller]

Jaimi’s Update

5/6/19 Update

Hi All

Thank you all for continuing to share Shelk’s GoFundMe, I really appreciate it and it’s been helping. Now on to that update I keep planning and not seeming to get to. 

This is a long post, so I will put it below a cut. 

About Me First

So March and April were both massively long and a more then a little painful, both physically and mentally. I had a depressive spiral because of something someone said, cause even though they hadn’t meant to set one off, their word choice did not help. I got it just about under control and someone else said something that sent it right back down. I finally got it under control again, back in the slow drag of getting out of it. Not that I know for a fact it will work or not. Life is never that easy. 

I spent way too much of the two months on the go, to the point where my body shut down a couple of different times and I was completely useless. At least I accomplished my goals though, even if I paid massively for them. 

I have a new therapist, she’s lovely but it’s frustrating, because I did not want to be changing therapists in the middle of shit going wrong, but alas it was a thing that had to happen since my previous one is officially retired for a variety of reasons (and I hope he enjoys it too!). 

Despite my best efforts, I am a foster fail again, and have a new cat, he is adorable and loveable. I’ve named him Silver for his chest and markings. 

[ID: Silver the cat laying partly on the laptop keyboard]

I’m trying to figure out how to pay my electric, it’s due on the 10th, I should have made a post on it, but I’ve been more focused on making sure my sister doesn’t lose her home. Plus I was under therapist orders not to think of anything money or work related for three days during this last weekend. 

Winston

[ID: Winston the rottweiler service pup laying on my lap while I pet him]

He’s doing perfect on his training, already has two of his tasks completely down, working on getting several more down. 

Unfortunately, there have been several problems with store peeps despite the fact I make sure he has his harness on and his leash on that says he is a service dog. They keep making a fit over the fact he’s a rottweiler, I even had one say it directly to my face. 

So I’ve ordered a bunch of business cards with the ADA online address on them, a copy of the two questions they can legally ask on the front:

Is that a service dog?

What tasks does your service dog perform for you?

On the back I put the four points people keep missing the most, copied directly from the ADA FAQ:

Staff are not allowed to request any documentation for the dog, require the dog demonstrate its task, or inquire about the nature of the person’s disability.

The ADA does not require service animals to wear a vest, ID tag, or specific harness. 

Covered entities may not require documentation, such as proof that the animal has been certified, trained, or licensed as a service animal, as a condition for entry.

Michigan has a voluntary registration program but it is not required.

The last point is from the state ADA, rather then the Federal one. If I had more room, I would have included the fact it’s illegal to try and force a registration, but alas business cards aren’t that big. 

I knew when I got him there was going to be questions because he’s so big, I hadn’t realized how foolish peeps were going to be over his breed. 

Both his leash and harness say Service Dog on them, but because I didn’t go out and buy the specialized one, but a training harness which was a lot cheaper and works for our needs just as well, people like to question it often. To the point where I even had one person tell me to get out of the store because someone else’s dog acted up, so mine couldn’t really be a service dog. Seriously, then she tried to back it with the ADA, while breaking the first three points from the back, and then insisting that the Michigan registry is required. 

Seriously, she’s one of the reasons I made the cards, right after I reported her and her boss, since she was insisting she checked with her boss, and her boss agreed. I even stressed to both the ADA and her company I didn’t want either fired, I wanted them properly trained, it should not be the customer’s job to print off the law and bring it in to make a point, just to keep shopping. 

I refuse to go back to having days I can’t go to the store because others want to have a problem with my awesome boy. If they have a problem with another dog, that’s the other dog’s handlers problem, not mine. To take it out on me is unprofessional. 

Shelk & Lot Rent

All of you peeps who have shared it (particularly you awesome one @noregretsnotearsnoanxieties) are wonderful! I appreciate all of the help. Shelk is flabbergasted and thankful beyond words for all the help. 

Last month we were able to get $555 within the $3,600. The lot owner accepted that, which set the eviction notice back to the 15th of this month. 

Right now we are at $150 this month, which is great as we are trying to get to at least $300, as that would pay at least one month. Currently she owes $3,345 between past and current due. 

A wonderful peep has said they are going to try and do something mid-month after getting paid, so I am rather hopeful, and I will be continuing to share, with updates every time there is a donation. 

Unexpected Meeting Kickstarter

I know I have two digital rewards to finish, I have been working on them, they will be posted by the end of this month. 

I am also going to start ordering the stuff to send out to people, getting the bookmarks, magnets, posters, and other goodies ready while the book is being edited. I can happily report the first few chapters have been looked at, though I have not yet had a chance to check the edits, which is why I haven’t shared snippets yet. 

It didn’t help that one of the rewards got corrupted when my computer updated in the middle of a save. Anyways, I’m excited! So bloody excited! 

Converging Lives

I will hopefully be returning to updating my @converginglives blog this week, I miss being able to post stuff there plus I still have the Spring 2019 A to Z Event to finish. 

I am also working on an actual website for it, which will have pretty much everything from the tumblr blog but in an organized method as I am tired of arguing with tumblr about it when making sure it’s in website format. 

Fanfic

Seeking is DONE - again. This time I emailed myself the file as well as typing it in google docs. Then of course docs didn’t have the problems it had last time. After 18 months of not being able to work on it, my muse finally got on the game. I’m so bloody pleased with that. I posted one chapter tonight, next Monday I will post the last chapter. 

I plan on posting the last chapter of Challenge Accepted on Wednesday as it’s done and I just need post it. 

I’m planning on working on Advent, Playful Stress Relief, Blessed, and Learning to Live. Why those ones? 

Advent is rough drafted out, might as well finish it. Besides, I don’t like the fact my lovely and fluff filled thing is still stuck in limbo. 

Playful Stress Relief is nearly done, I think editing was all I had left on that particular last chapter to finish it, though don’t quote me. It’s been awhile since I checked it. 

Blessed is calling me, though only lightly, and I’m not even sure there are peeps waiting for it, but hey whatevers. 

Learning to Live got a lovely comment which made me smile, in the height of a massive episode. I am updating it for that person, hopefully it will let me get on a roll and finish my oldest fanfic. 

You wanna see one of the other ones updated? Leave a comment on it, not just a “update please” but something you like, or a question, or even a smile face. Update please doesn’t encourage me, but pretty much everything else does. 

Cosmos Market

This is still being worked on, for those who don’t know what the market is, here is a link to the last post made on it. I’ll probably be updating it sometime in the near future, but at this moment that is a pretty good definition of it. 

I want -- need -- to get the market off the ground so I can stop needing to ask for help as I will have at least a small and stable income going. 

I’m not planning on making a lot off of it, just enough to pay my base bills, which will not put me out of the poverty line. I do expect it to be a success, however I plan on putting money into my employees and building instead. My sister being one of those employees in order to help her stop needing to ask for help as well since she’s been struggling to find a job. 

The market isn’t the only thing on the planner for business, it’s just the one I am focused on right this moment, though I have been eyeing my second rather heavily lately too, as it would be a much more passive situation for me to deal with. 

Disability

A lot of you know that I’ve applied for it in the past and was turned down as “disabled but not disabled enough”. I have reapplied for it. Why? Because I am still disabled, and a lot of times, things are worse then they were the last time I applied. 

This time I have been sent to deal with so many new doctors it’s making me want to scream. I don’t deal well with new people. Yet I have to. A lot. It’s frustrating beyond words. Still, if it helps over all, I will do whatever I must. 

It’s seriously my hope to get to the point where I can put it on hold, and only use it when I have a really bad flare up. Yes, things have been closer to stable since I got Winston, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t problems going on. I had a depressive spiral that lasted five bloody weeks. Sometimes I was able to force myself to get stuff done, other times I couldn’t even get out of bed because of my mind. It’s hard to be stable with that situation going on. 

Knowing my bills will be dealt with even if I can’t get out of bed would help a great deal. Far more than I really want to admit. At last, that’s the way it goes. 

Links

Rather then put the links in this mess, I will make a post just for them and then add the link to it here for those who want to share it. Any sharing would be appreciated as it helps more than you would imagine. 

I know a lot of people don’t have money, and while money is needed, that is not what I am asking for, all I am asking for is you take the time to share. Just a few seconds, a couple of clicks, can make a world of difference. 

While a lot of the links are about me, not all of them are as I also put up links to others who have helped me and friends who are in different tight situations. I’m a firm believer in paying it forward in any way possible. 

Link to Links

Previous Updates

5/1/19 & 5/3/19 

4/24/19

3/9/19 & Links

3/1/19

2/14/19

1/24/19

1/16/19

1/5/19

12/27/17 & 12/28/18

12/22/18

12/19/18

12/6/18 & 12/8/18

[bluerosesburnblue]

Extremely late to the party, but I finally finished reference drawings of my Hogwarts Mystery MC, Seren Dwyn, and her hopefully not dead bro. Sorry if the colors are weird, I had to manually adjust them when I switched computers

Assorted Information under the cut

Seren Dwyn

Full Name: Seren Aisling Dwyn

Birthday: July 29, 1973 (yeah, it’s just my birthday. I got lazy)

Blood Status: Half-blood (and 3/16 Siren)

Nationality: Half-Irish, Half-Faroese (lives around the shore of Malin Head, outside of Ballyhillin in County Donegal)

Wand: Acacia wood, Unicorn Hair core, 12″

Boggart: Has two. The Voldemort boggart, which represents her fear that Jacob wasn’t the person she thought he was, and Jacob as he was before he left telling her that she was a disappointment that shouldn’t have been born. Only Professor McGonagall saw the latter the one time it appeared, the Voldemort one showing up more often in Year 3 as that was the fear at the forefront of her mind at the time

Favorite Classes: Care of Magical Creatures (!!!), Charms, and Herbology (aka her chill out class)

She and Jacob were pretty much raised as Muggles due to the fact that their father was a Squib and disowned from his pureblood family and their mother was a Muggleborn from a Durmstrang-covered nation and so grew to resent magic as she received little education on its workings

So, like, they went to Muggle school until Hogwarts and knew of most things magic and Wizarding World, especially with their limited interactions with their father’s mother, but they were mostly removed from Wizard culture

Jacob’s nickname for her is Rinn, because it potentially means the same thing as Seren and is phonetically similar to the last part of her name

Her first bit of magic was hiccuping up floating balls of water when she was less than a year old. That was when Jacob knew she was going to be talented at magic

Her favorite candy is peppermints

Was just barely a hatstall between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Like, six seconds over time. The hat was insistent that she go to Hufflepuff, but Jacob told her he wanted her to go to whichever house was best for her, not just his house. It took the hat a while to convince her that Hufflepuff was the right house for her

She’s loyal to a fault, but also has no personal ambition. Literally everything she does is for the sake of people she cares about. No dream job, no future plans, nothing. She also has a strong sense of justice/fairness, which comes out as both a strong desire to help others, even at the expense of herself (literally most sidequests) or knocking others down a peg when they start acting unfairly and hurting others (most interactions with Merula)

That said, she’s really creative and treats magic like a science. She experiments with it, and is extremely gifted in magical theory. Prefers to understand why a spell works as opposed to how, and once she does she casts it extremely well

Starts out at Hogwarts as extremely shy and skittish, which just gets worse the more people compare her to Jacob. Bucks up a bit during second year, starts getting more sarcastic in third year, and completely snaps after the Vault of Fear. She comes back in fourth year Much Angrier, with less of a filter, and a bit more Punk™ (but not much)

Literally snaps because she can’t stand how Dumbledore is treating the situation. Constantly reprimanding her and then unfairly awarding her? Not just gathering a team of Curse Breakers and sweeping the school over the summer when no one’s around like she suggested? Yeah, no, she lost all respect for him and may or may not get it back depending on where future story updates go

“Well damn, if everyone wants me to be Jacob 2 I may as well give them what they want” but she knows the rules so well she manages to break them in spirit without breaking the letter and weasels out of trouble most of the time because she never technically broke the rules and does so out of spite

That said, it’s still Seren, and she’s a genuinely nice person and a snarky dork, she’s just no longer taking unfair punishment lying down and lost all sense of self-preservation

Seren cares too much about other people, but hides it behind a facade of snark that occasionally comes across as a bit dismissive at times

Very stressed, acts chill, but breaks down when she knows people aren’t looking. It’s hard dedicating your childhood/teen years to finding your missing brother

Loves magical creatures. Loves them. Fire crab? Sooo cooool. Bowtruckle? Aw heck yeah little buddy you go! Murtlap? Oh, what a sweetheart. Sickleworth??? Mine now!!!

She’s loved Augureys ever since she was a kid. They’re her favorite magical creature

This love extends to normal animals but they don’t teach that at Hogwarts

Named the bowtruckle Jacob because she just wants her big bro back, dammit

She has a plush baby seal from when her family went to the aquarium when she was a toddler. Jacob used to do a voice and pretend the toy was alive to cheer her up as a kid. She still sleeps with it

Her owl, Arlo, is actually Jacob’s owl whose care she took over when he disappeared. The rest of her pets were found around Hogwarts, and she has her friends take them home over the summer because her parents would KILL her if she brought four animals home

While she’s good at Transfiguration, she kinda hates the class most of the time. Anything involving turning living creatures into inanimate objects or vice versa just skeeves her out so much and opens up WAY too many existential questions

That said, her favorite teachers are Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, and Professor Kettleburn

She likes Professor Sprout well enough, but she’s her Head of House and Seren has a crippling fear of disappointing others, so she’s constantly worried that Professor Sprout secretly hates her

She doesn’t share a lot of personal information with the gang. She would if asked (usually), but since Jacob was her only friend growing up and he knew this stuff already, she never really thinks to share

She will never tell anyone her middle name because she’ll die before any of her friends find out her initials are SAD

The gang kind of considers her Team Mom/Team Big Sister because of her proclivity for taking care of everyone’s emotional states. Ironically, she’s the youngest person in the group, though no one in it is aware (because she’s never shared her birthday and at this point refuses to because she doesn’t want anyone making a fuss over it, especially since it’s not like any of them will see her over the summer to celebrate it)

Seren gets kind of protective over her friend’s siblings. Percy doesn’t like her much due to her chronic disregard for rules, but she still looks out for him. Fred and George think she’s cool but can also be a killjoy sometimes. Ron and Ginny both adore her. And if Penny’s sister Beatrice ends up in Hufflepuff and Seren’s a Prefect? “Oh boy, Penny, I’m stealing your sister she’s mine now!”

The gang has a minor freak out when they find out that Seren “Frequently an Irish Stereotype” Dwyn is actually only half-Irish and hates potatoes

Madam Rakepick makes her really uncomfortable... because she sees too much of herself in her. Rakepick kinda represents a “who you could be if you were an arrogant asshole” and Seren, being very Hufflepuff, wants to be anything but arrogant

Rakepick really does like Seren, or at the very least thinks she has potential, and has ever since Seren’s response to dueling Ismelda was to immediately disarm her and go into a leg sweep. Rakepick’s gotta respect a kid willing to fist fight if it helps their cause

Seren has no desire to be a Curse Breaker and chafes a bit every time someone tells her she should be one. Breaking curses is just a necessary part of finding Jacob. She doesn’t particularly care for it

Her courses are geared towards Curse Breaking, but it’s more because she has ZERO plans for her future beyond locating Jacob and at least it’s something she’s good at

She stole Jacob’s old sweaters at the start of year 4. It’s not like he’s using them. Team sweater vest all the way

Had she gone to Ilvermorny, her house would unquestionably be Wampus. Girl gets things done, especially once she gets over her shyness, but the fighter potential and defiance was always there as evidenced by the way she kicked Merula’s ass for harassing Ben and Rowan in their first year

5′3″ and steadily getting angrier every year

A lot of people think she just blindly worships Jacob, but she really doesn’t. She’s aware that he was a pretty flawed person, she just doesn’t care. He was good to her and she loves him and that’s all that matters

Jacob Dwyn

Full Name: Jacob Caradoc Dwyn

Birthday: December 15, 1968

Blood Status: Half-blood (and 3/16 Siren)

Nationality: Half-Irish, Half-Faroese (lives around the shore of Malin Head, outside of Ballyhillin in County Donegal)

Wand: Maple wood, Dragon Heartstring core, 10″ (broken before expulsion)

Boggart: Seren’s nearly drowned body that he can’t resuscitate*

Favorite Classes: Flying, Charms, and Transfiguration

Five years older than Seren but only four years above her in school due to where their ages are in relation to the cutoff date. Would’ve been in the same year as the prefects

Seren’s nickname for him is Jay, or Jayjay if she’s trying to be annoying/cute. Jake just never caught on for him

His first real bit of magic was accidentally charming a room full of people while singing in a school pageant when he was four. He’s been afraid of singing in front of other people since, despite having a really good voice

His first reaction to being told that he was going to be an older brother was “Oh boy new friend!!!” The first time he met Seren he let her grasp his finger and told her he was gonna be the best big brother ever

He then started hating her for a few months because she just would not. Stop. Crying. And her room was right next to his so he heard it constantly

Warmed up to her when he realized that she was just scared of loud noises and would sing her to sleep after that (and she’s the only person who he’s comfortable singing around now)

*His boggart comes from a moment when Seren was three and he was supposed to be watching her but was so caught up in his own adventure he didn’t notice her get too close to the cliff edge and she fell into the ocean. He jumped in after her but she was completely submerged and her leg was stuck in some seaweed. She definitely would’ve died if a nearby Merrow hadn’t pulled her out. And he didn’t know CPR (he was eight) so he was lucky she coughed up the water herself. The event traumatized both of them. Seren was afraid of going into the water for years and Jacob got super protective of her and developed a fear of being unable to save her, which is what his boggart represents

Firmly believed that rules should never prevent you from doing the right thing, which would really inform most of his actions at Hogwarts

Has two main goals in life: become a cool detective and go on a world tour with his family (though once he’s estranged from his parents for good it becomes go on a world tour with Seren)

Loves liquorice and liquorice wands. Was known to eat whole bags of them at once

Was a true hatstall between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, but was ultimately placed in Hufflepuff because he would throw away everything in a heartbeat to benefit someone he loved, he valued loyalty above all else,  and preferred to do things on his own merit rather than cheating. He got a rush from genuinely overcoming challenges

That exhilaration when he overcomes challenges led to him really loving puzzles and mysteries of all kinds. In a way, Seren was half-right when she speculated that his reasons for looking for the Vaults was that he wanted to overcome a complex puzzle. It was why the search became addicting, but not why he started looking in the first place

He was notably impatient and had a habit of acting without thinking through consequences a lot. Honestly, Seren was a good part of his impulse control and he took a lot more risks at Hogwarts than he would have if she was there

His witty and cunning side tended to get him into trouble, too. Boy had a hell of a sarcastic streak and never could keep himself from snapping back at people who made snide remarks at him (looking at you, Snape)

Say what you will about his bad habits, but he was a very good brother to Seren. Their parents were always pretty distant so he became the emotional support that she needed. He’d let her sleep with him when she got scared during thunderstorms, would hold her whenever she got upset after being teased in school (and helped her with her homework as much as he could), and at one point climbed up onto their roof without a second thought when she got herself stuck up there by an accidental use of magic... and then he realized that he didn’t know how to get either of them down. He played games with her until their parents came home and got them down

The entire faculty was aware that he would gush about his sweet baby sister if given reason to. Most of them already knew who Seren was before she started at Hogwarts because of it (”Hey Professor Sprout, what plants would be good to mail to my sister? She loves flowers!”)

The only way I can reconcile a Hufflepuff!Jacob going on a search for the Vaults is that he thought something in them/someone looking for them was going to pose a threat to either the student body or Seren, so that’s what I’m going with until proven otherwise

Honestly there were a lot of reasons people thought that he was certifiably insane. Beyond raving about Vaults that most people didn’t believe existed he:

had a tendency to just Not Sleep when he was working on a project and was known to down bottles of Wideye Potion and then not sleep for days. He always looked tired in his later years

got really twitchy when he didn’t sleep, so he was always nervously fidgeting in his later years

was so impatient that he’d jump off of part of the Grand Stairwell to get around faster

once had a serious craving for fish (due to his Siren blood, which neither he nor Seren are aware of) and ran into the Great Hall in a panic, grabbed cod with his bare hands, and then ate it while jogging out of the room. This was one of Angelica Cole’s few interactions with him and one of the only times Bill Weasley ever really saw him in their 1 & 1/2 overlapping years (”Seren, your brother was weird.” “Yeah, I- ...yeah. That sounds like Jacob.”)

was kind of a mess just before he was expelled. His shirt was never on right, he was lucky he could even get his tie on, constantly forgot his robes, and he was using Reparo on his clothes nearly every day because they kept getting torn up with Vault related stuff

is farsighted, but refuses to get corrective glasses or fix the issue, leading to him squinting a lot when he reads and such. He just can’t freaking see

Also, it’s canon that he has godawful handwriting and can’t draw to save his life. Boy’s a living disaster sometimes

If he hadn’t gotten involved with the Vaults, he probably would’ve joined the Quidditch team as either a Beater or a Chaser, and likely would’ve also been the male prefect of his and Jane Court’s year

He and Jane absolutely hated each other, but the kind of hate that involves some belligerent romantic tension. The kind that would probably lead to an emotionally abusive relationship if they ever got involved when they were older, but mutual attraction was still there. It’s a good thing they never got to that point, but I could see Jane trying to sneak him a love potion in 6th or 7th year if he hadn’t gotten expelled

If you asked him about it, it’d take him a while to remember who Angelica Cole was. He’d need you to describe her. He was nice to her, but their interactions were limited and he was usually distracted by the time she started talking to him more

I actually have a hard time seeing him in a long-term romantic relationship with a British/Irish witch or wizard due to his reputation. I could see him with a foreign magic user, maybe an Ilvermorny alumni or something

I could very easily see his Ilvermorny house being Thunderbird had he attended school there because he’s always wanted to travel and always yearned for adventure. Not super relevant, just some interesting personality trivia

Also, he’s only an average 5′9″ at maximum height, but he’s taller than Seren and that’s enough for him

He got expelled about a week before his 15th birthday. The last time Seren saw him, he was hugging her while sobbing and just kept muttering “It’s gonna be okay. I love you. I’m so sorry,” over and over again. He was gone the next morning and Seren hasn’t been “okay” since

Both/Other

Both of them are trilingual at Hogwarts (English/Irish/Faroese) and may eventually learn Mermish in the future

Their mother taught them Faroese and their father thought it would be fun to do the same with the language of his country, even though he did not speak Irish himself

They make a lot of very similar expressions and have similar body language, which most Hogwarts professors picked up on fairly quickly (”Miss Dwyn, I know you’re lying. Jacob used to make that face when he was lying, too”)

Jacob’s patronus would be a Sea Lion* and Seren’s a Common Seal*

*I actually haven’t settled on whose is whose. Dunno if I want their patronuses to represent the caster or their sibling more

Seren is unable to cast a patronus unless Jacob is found alive. She cannot cast one before they find him and will never cast one if he is found dead or irreversibly evil/insane/corrupted

I was actually pretty against it at first, but I’ve gotten attached to the idea of both of them being Raven animagi, with Jacob being unregistered and Seren’s registration status up in the air right now

Both of them keep their eye color when they transform, which is much better for Jacob since Ravens tend to have similarly colored brown eyes

They also both have a chuckle that sounds like the clicking noise Ravens sometimes make

Being a Raven animagus makes Jacob’s tendency to transfigure things into black quills to hide them way more ironic

Assuming Jacob is found alive, in the future they end up starting a private investigation/private detective’s office where they take jobs that the Ministry has turned down. They get a bit of a reputation for not turning anyone away who needs help: human or not. Also espionage

If Jacob is found dead (and Seren does not also wind up dead) then Seren either takes odd jobs with no real purpose OR joins the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Beast Division, depending on the circumstances of Jacob’s death and how well she’s able to cope with it

Goodfuture! Jacob and Seren both get very good at Legilimency and Occlumency, Legilimency due to its uses in their profession and Occlumency due to paranoia arising from the entire Vaults incident. They practice on each other

Jacob is slightly better at Occlumency than Seren, Seren is slightly better at Legilimency than Jacob

Reading each other’s minds as much as they have leads to them being even closer than they were before. They now know secrets the other will never speak, and they can predict each other’s thoughts fairly easily. It also helped them work through Vault-based trauma

At some point they get really good at communicating wordlessly through magic. It freaks people out

Their siren blood does effect them, but I feel like that’s grounds for its own post

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

Working in tech support has given me a new found hatred of Baby Boomers

Long post.

Okay so, I work for lawyers, many of whom are boomers. And while as a whole I don’t have a huge problem with either group, sometimes the combination are just... fucking disastrous.

Take for example the call I just got off of a few minutes ago. Guy calls in because when he’s typing in his password, backspace is registering as a character.

Only, it took me a few minutes to get that out of him, because when he called, the conversion went kinda like this:

Me: *generic greeting* What can I help you with? Guy: I can’t log into my computer Me: *waits a moment, realizes he’s not going to say more than that* Me: Okay. What’s happening when you try and log in? Guy: *presumably hits something on the keyboard, I don’t know because I’m not there* That’s what happens Me: Okay. I’m not on your screen right now (we can remote in with users once they’re logged in, many boomers seem to think that as soon as they call in we’re immediately on their computers) so I can’t see what you’re seeing. What’s happening? Guy: *literally does the exact same thing, hits something on the keyboard, and angrily says* THAT’S what’s happening Me: *repeats myself* Guy: It’s just *he’s typing or something I guess, sounds like he’s just bamming on the keyboard at this point* It’s doing... that Me: *internally screaming* Guy: (FUCKING FINALLY) When I hit backspace, I get a dot Me: Oh. Okay. So instead of deleting it’s acting like you’re typing a letter? Guy: Yeah. Me: Okay. This can be caused by a few different things

Now. There’s no standard required ‘set up’ for the computers at the firm. People have different model laptops, desktop, docking stations, some have external keyboards (both wired and wireless), all sorts of other equipment, etc, and we have NO info on who has what

Me: Are you on a laptop in a docking station, or on a desktop? Guy: Laptop in a docking station.

So, idk why, but with our docking stations, if the wifi is on while the laptop is in it, it tends to cause all sorts of issues. So, I wanted him to reboot to make sure his keyboard is connected and the issue isn’t that his computer has been on for like 6 months (true story happens all the fucking time).

Me: Okay. Can you make sure your wifi is switched off, and then reboot your laptop? I just want to make sure it’s connecting properly. Guy: *angrily* I don’t know what you mean about wifi.

Which, is an annoyingly common occurrence. Without fail almost every boomer I talk to has no grasp of what wifi is, or anything involving the physical laptop itself. NBD, there’s only 2 ways it can manually be turned off and on on the laptops we use

Me: That’s fine. Depending on which  model laptop you have, there is either a physical switch you can toggle off and on on the side of the laptop itself, or one of the F/Function keys on the laptops keyboard will have a wifi/cell signal icon on it.

Guy: *getting more angry, now talking to me like I’m the stupid one* I can’t into the computer, what do you mean get to the function keys? How am I supposed to get to the function keys?? Me: Can you lift the laptop lid up and see the laptop’s keyboard? Guy: *like I’m saying the dumbest thing ever* Uh. Yeah. Me: *SCREAMING INTERNALLY* Okay, lift the laptop lid up and look at the F keys along the top of the keyboard. You don’t need to log in in order to do this. Guy: *literally shouting at this point* I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

If you’ve ever worked in customer service, you may have heard the concept of the ‘CD Skip’, which is ‘just repeat the same thing over and over again, because it’s not that you’re saying something that doesn’t make sense, they’re just refusing to hear it’

Me: *repeats myself* Guy: That doesn’t-- Me: It may also be a toggle along the side of the physical laptop itself, depending on what model laptop you have. I don’t have that information, but it’s in one of those two spots Guy: *starts sputtering and shouting at me* YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LITTLE-- (I can hear the ‘bitch’ hanging on his tongue but he stops himself) I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I HAVE WORK TO DO! Me to me: Good luck doing that without being able to log in or backspace Me: I’m just asking you to ensure your wifi is off and reboot your machine to make sure everything is connecting-- Guy: THIS IS STUPID I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS I HAVE AN ACTUAL JOB TO DO (because tech support isn’t a real job, apparently) I’LL CALL YOU LATER *slams phone down*

Now. This shit happens all the fucking time. At least once a day I get a boomer who gets violently angry because I ask them to do something remarkably simple. And I don’t mean “simple to people who grew up  using technology” I mean simple like “Hey, there’s a glowing button on your monitor, right?” “Yeah” “Push it” “*angry confused ranting*”.

And I specify boomers, because I almost never have this issue with younger employees. I say “can you make sure your wifi is switched off” and they either 1. Know how to turn it off and on or 2. can follow the simple instructions of looking for a switch and looking on the F keys.

The main issues seem to pretty much stem from these bullshitteries: 1. A refusal to understand that something can be done in more than one way. I’ve literally had people screaming at me that I was breaking their computer because I went to file > print and didn’t just click the printer icon 2. A refusal to learn about the device they’re using: ESPECIALLY with smart phones. They’ll learn how to do something like make a call and check an email, but heaven forbid you ask them to turn the phone off and on or uninstall an app (seriously had an attorney screaming at me because he didn’t know how to click on the app store to download an app) 3. A refusal to understand that not every inconvenience is a HUGE issue (this is often the ‘my computer was slow for .5 seconds’/ is running slow but my computer has been on for 6+ months crowd) 4. A refusal to comprehend that there’s some things they don’t know how to do 5. A refusal to understand that just because you don’t know how to do something, doesn’t mean it’s broken (I once had a ridiculously long call with a lady-who wouldn’t let me remote in with her-who kept insisting that her PDF program was malfunctioning and wouldn’t let her convert PDFs, and getting angry and lying about following my troubleshooting steps and screaming that there must be something wrong with her computer. When in reality it turned out that she didn’t know how to convert PDFs and instead of admitting that, she just kept saying that the program wasn’t working. There’s literally a big “CONVERT PDF TO WORD” button, but w/e).  6. A refusal to think critically or troubleshoot. I get a lot of REALLY stupid issues like “My computer says I need to restart it to install updates” “Okay, what happens when you restart it?” “WELL HOW I WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO DO THAT?” or “This document won’t open when I click on it” “Have you tried clicking on it again?” “Well, no.” or “The printer says it’s out of paper” “Have you put paper in it?” “No!”.

7. A refusal to follow simple instructions

And knowing all of this, it just fucking irks me that Boomers scream about how entitled millennials are, but they literally can’t grasp that the world doesn’t work the way they want it to. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PUT PAPER INTO THE PRINTER? I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO HIT THE CONVERT PDF BUTTON TO CONVERT PDFS!!” “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME THIS ITEM FOR FREE?????”

In my customer service experience, when you tell a millennial how something works or store policy or when something can/can’t be done, usually so long as you’re polite about it, they’re polite about it. But when you tell a boomer that their coupon is expired or that they’ll have to wait an extra 5 minutes if they want fresh fries, they lose their fucking shit. Drives me up the wall how a boomer will one minute be asking for help opening a goddamn email, but then .5 seconds go on about how lazy and entitled millenials are.

/rant

[burning-up-ao3]

20 Penguins Thoughts 11 5 2019

20 Penguins Thoughts: Talking hockey and history with Bob GroveJason Mackey/Post-Gazette

JASON MACKEYPittsburgh Post-Gazette

jmackey@post-gazette.com

NOV 5, 2019 8:00 AM

Hockey can be a subjective game, the most of the major North American professional team sports. You thought so-and-so played a pretty decent game. Your buddy didn’t. There are only so many numbers to break the tie. Given it’s not a start-and-stop game, plus the speed inherent to hockey, some things can be tough to quantify.

Here’s one thing, however, that’s not subjective, especially when you’re around the Pittsburgh Penguins every day: Bob Grove, who’s unofficially considered the team’s historian, is nothing short of brilliant.

And also just a really, really nice person.

I’ve known Grove for years, since I worked where he once did, at the Washington Observer-Reporter. We chatted plenty when I was on the Penguins beat, too, and I’ve always been fascinated by how Grove does what he does. So, on Monday, I sort of invited myself into his Canonsburg home to check it out.

Matt VenselKris Letang leaves Penguins loss in Boston with injury

Picked a heck of a game, too, as we watched the Penguins dig themselves a pretty big hole in Boston — more on this shortly — rally, then lose a heartbreaker at the end.

2. “People have ways of scraping data,” Grove said as he sat at an upstairs computer, beginning the process of explaining to me how he’s able to look up some of the most nuanced facts about the Penguins in mere minutes. “I don’t have any idea how to do that.”

Scraping data is essentially taking the official game data from the NHL — say shots on goal or time on ice — and writing a computer program to where it will automatically update. It’s how sites such as naturalstattrick.com or the former war-on-ice.com pull info.

Grove does none of that. He has somewhere around 80 or 100 Excel files on his desktop computer (that syncs with his work laptop), 35 or 40 of them spreadsheets that he manually updates after every game.

“Anybody could do this,” Grove insisted to me. “It’s all available on NHL.com.”

With all due respect, Grover, you’re wrong here. I’m pretty sure there are very few people on the planet who can do what you do, which is what makes this all so neat to me.

3. The amount of data Grove has accumulated is incredible.

Matt VenselShaky goaltending costs Penguins game in Boston

His most often used spreadsheet has data logged from all 4,062 games throughout Penguins history. An abbreviated list of what’s tracked includes attendance; whether it’s a division or conference game; whether it’s a part of a home-and-home series; the game time; shots on goal; power-play opportunities for both teams; who scored the first goal and in overtime, if necessary; goalie information; short-handed goals; who was coaching the Penguins; the officials; whether they were winning or losing after two periods.

Did I mention that Grove enters this stuff manually after every game?

Two summers ago Grove got an itch. Like many of his research ideas, it started with something that he wanted to know. So he broke down each game even further, logging how many goals and shots the Penguins had per period for each game in their history.

This came in handy after the second period Monday, as Grove rushed upstairs to see how 21 shots and four goals fared throughout Penguins history. It took him less than 4 minutes.

Tonight marks just the fourth time Pens have scored 4 goals in one period @ Boston. Last time was Feb. 8, 2003, when they also got 4 in the second period.

See Bob Grove's other Tweets

Pens had 21 shots in the second period, most shots they've ever had in one period of a game @ Boston.

See Bob Grove's other Tweets

“I guess you just have to have a natural curiosity about stuff,” Grove said.

Ugh, yeah. Something like that.

4. The Penguins are currently in an 0-for-21 power-play funk. That, too, has had Grove’s wheels spinning. So this past weekend, instead of enjoying some gorgeous weather, he sifted through his own game logs, looking for games with extended strings of zeros, then counting up the missed chances inside each group.

“It took me a few hours just to go back 20 years,” Grove said.

Eventually he settled on this:

So far, the longest PP drought I've seen for Pens (not done looking) is 42 straight from Dec. 3-23, 1967. Since the turn of the century, longest was 33 straight, from Dec. 23 to Jan. 6 in the 08-09 season.

See Bob Grove's other Tweets

5. Grove has another spreadsheet with player info: Everybody who has ever played for the team, complete with their date of birth, where they were born, how the Penguins acquired them, where they played college or junior hockey, what they did in their first/last games with the club, etc.

“If someone says, ‘Who from Oshawa has played for the Penguins?’ I can just sort it,” Grove said.

There are also files including the Penguins’ trade history, how other goalies have fared against them, power-play information, all of them updated after each game. Ditto for probably 20 or so files specifically dedicated to Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jake Guentzel and Matt Murray. On the shootout spreadsheet that Grove keeps, he invented a stat called Game on Stick, where he tracks whether the shooter had a chance to win the game right then and there.

While updating, Grove will notice trends, those thoughts producing the next day’s notes.

“I always thought it would be so much easier if this information flowed in here,” Grove said, alluding to the scraping of data. “It would be a lot less time consuming, but I wouldn’t notice the things I notice by putting them in by hand. That’s the good thing about it. I’ve got it down to kind of a science the way I do it after the game.”

6. To better understand Grove, and why he does what he does, I suppose we should probably back up a little bit.

The Sarver native attended his first Penguins game on Dec. 26, 1970, a 4-2 Penguins victory over the Boston Bruins at Civic Arena. On the other team, of course, was Bobby Orr.

Grove, who was 11 at the time, had been a hockey fan before that, but this was sort of the point of no return. He was enraptured.

“You think you have an interest in this game, you go watch it live, and your life is never the same afterward,” Grove said. “At least that’s the way it’s been for me.”

7. Grove went to Penn State and interviewed for a job at the Observer-Reporter in 1981, where he would work until 1998 before getting out of the newspaper business and ascending to his current role: vice president of public relations for Comcast’s Keystone Region.

During his time at the O-R, Grove — like all of us who worked there — did a variety of things, though his most notable work came covering the Penguins.

But Grove, unlike writers for the bigger Pittsburgh papers, did not travel for road games in the regular season, only during the playoffs. The 60-year-old began charting stats and trends by hand as a way to find stuff to write when the team was on the road.

“I would look at this stuff, and it would give me some notes for a notebook,” Grove said.

8. Grove actually used to call a fax number given out by the NHL, where you could request game sheets from specific teams.

Those helped, though the ink eventually smeared. Former Penguins PR man Steve Bonino once came up big when he handed Grove copies of every game sheet ever. Grove keeps the hard copies, scanned into his computer.

“He said, ‘We have all the game summaries since 1967. Do you want a copy?’ ” Grove recalled. “I said, ‘Think about what you just asked me.’ ”

(Grove and I had a separate, lengthy discussion about how different journalism is today, but we’ll save that for another time. I did tell Grove I’m jealous of those who covered sports 20 or 30 years ago and were actually able to watch what they were writing about.)

9. Grove didn’t play a ton of ice hockey growing up. He could skate, sure, and he and his friends routinely played street hockey, but hockey just wasn’t as much of a thing back then.

Recently, though, Grove’s neighbor and his son, Brent, have gotten him into playing pickup games.

“I’m definitely not the best one out there,” Bob said. “But I love it.”

10. What Grove does scratches an important itch for him.

In August 2015, the Penguins decided to change up their pre- and postgame shows on the radio side, which effectively removed Grove from the role he held for the previous 10 years.

Coming off a lackluster season, the Penguins wanted someone full-time in that role, and Grove couldn’t be around the team as much as the job would require. The position eventually went to Josh Getzoff, another friend and a talented broadcaster who’s incredibly deserving.

“For me it’s simply a way to stay close to a game that I love and stay close to the team,” Grove said.

11. I also give Grove a lot of credit for this next one: I think it would be easy for someone in his position to be upset over how things went down.

Sure, Getzoff is beyond capable. It’s not about that. Grove’s voice, to me, is synonymous with the club’s history, the same way you think of Mike Lange or Paul Steigerwald. You don’t hear any of the three and think anything other than Penguins hockey.

Grove is a trove of information, and he’s just a really smart hockey guy. He was also all class in how he addressed my next question on whether he misses broadcasting and if it was hard to remain a fan given how things went down.

“I don’t have any hard feelings,” Grove said. “It hit me hard. I really do miss it a lot. But the team, look, they had reasons for doing it.

“I have no complaints by the way I was treated by the Penguins. Are you kidding me? They gave me an opportunity to write a book about the team, which was a thrill. Gave me a chance to do 10 years of the radio show. I never had more fun than I did doing that.

“It gave me a chance to be on the broadcast team with Mike Lange and Phil Bourque. I was listening to Mike when I was a teenager, so you can imagine what a thrill that was for me to work on the same broadcast team as Mike Lange. They gave me a chance to ride with those guys during the Stanley Cup parade in ’09.

“I got treated tremendously by the Penguins. They made a decision. That’s how it goes. At the end of the day, I gave that job everything I had and more. That’s really all you can ask of yourself.”

12. Now, Grove said he spends around two or three hours a day researching various Penguins-related items, in addition to his Comcast work. He also writes columns and makes regular appearances on 93.7 the Fan.

Grove is active on Twitter, and it’s not uncommon for fans to pose random questions to him involving Penguins history.

“I enjoy interacting with the fans,” Grove said. “I really enjoy that. I can’t answer them all. But there’s few times people get back to me and ask me a question that I can look up and I enjoy sharing that with them.”

13. If you follow Grove on Twitter, he’ll tweet out a flurry of info before games. When I was on the beat, I would sit in the press box, crank up some Grateful Dead or Jason Isbell and type those notes into a separate file for easy reference once the game started.

Grove told me he actually schedules the tweets the night before.

“Because I couldn’t be at practice, it was how I got ready for the broadcasts,” Grove said of his pregame notes. “That gave me stuff to lean on in the pregame and postgame and between periods. I just started to take some of those notes that I had prepped and tweeted them out. Then it grew from there.”

14. Couple more random Grove tidbits before I move on …

Around five or six years ago, Grove took on one of his biggest research projects: Gordie Howe hat tricks. This is not an official NHL stat — it’s when a player has a fight, a goal and an assist in the same game — so Grove had to figure it on his own.

He started by weeding out games where the Penguins were shut out or scored one goal. Then he’d look for fights. If someone fought, he’d look to see if that player scored a goal, then if he had an assist.

“You have to lay eyes on the game summary of every game they’ve ever played,” Grove said. “It took months, but I just got this bug and said, ‘I’m going to get this list.’ ”

15. Grove, like many in the local media, is a big English Premier League soccer fan. Specifically he’s a Manchester City supporter after he became hooked on the final day of the 2012 season when City scored twice in extra time to claim their first league title since 1968.

“I was the guy rooting for the Cubs and Red Sox to win the World Series,” Grove said. “I love teams that haven’t won in forever finally finding a way.

“[Manchester City winning] struck me. I said, ‘This is my team.’ I could identify with how long they had suffered until they won.”

Now, Grove listens to multiple soccer podcasts every week. The sport has become a close second to hockey for him.

“It’s so different than North American sports,” Grove said. “I think that’s what I like about it.”

16. We also spent time talking about the current Penguins beat, how competitive it is and how much good work is being done there.

(It’s true. It’s probably the most competitive beat in the city.)

“There’s never been more coverage of the Penguins than there is now,” Grove said. “And there’s some really, really good writing going on about the Penguins. I never remember seeing the kind of coverage that is put forth these days.”

Couldn’t agree more with that. Some very talented people over there, and I’m especially proud of the work our guys, Matt Vensel and Mike DeFabo, have done recently.

17. Moving on …

I’d really like to start seeing more out of Alex Galchenyuk. I think it’s in there, but if you’re going to play with Evgeni Malkin — where he probably fits the best — the Penguins absolutely need more finish out of him.

Saw it last night again. I get that he’s had a tough start with health, but now, with Patric Hornqvist out, it’s time to get going.

18. Brian Dumoulin doesn’t get nearly enough credit.

So steady, so quiet. His game isn’t sexy, and it doesn’t need to be. He’s the perfect running mate for Kris Letang.

“He doesn’t get his due, does he?” Grove said at one point during our discussion.

No, he most certainly does not.

19. Why not try Jared McCann up with Crosby and Guentzel?

I was definitely in the camp of letting Dominik Simon work it out. We’ve been there, we’ve seen it, and it’s .... well, not exactly perfect.

The Penguins could also be getting more out of McCann than they have thus far, at least in terms of him consistently having an impact on games.

Would love to see coach Mike Sullivan revisit that trio later in the week, although I’m not terribly confident we’re going to see it.

20. I like the way the Penguins are playing right now.

I realize they’ve lost five of seven, four of those coming in regulation, but I don’t care. Grove and I agreed: There’s something different about the Penguins right now, something more repeatable, a tenacious style that will matter once they get their power play going and (finally) get healthy.

This isn’t the sloppy, lackadaisical brand of hockey that had the Penguins languishing through the first couple months each of the past couple seasons.

Jason Mackey: jmackey@post-gazette.com and Twitter @JMackeyPG.

[sublimedeal]

Brittany Watkins – Think and Thin

Brittany Watkins – Think and Thin

Are you tired of constantly thinking about your weight?

Have your dreams been put on hold until you finally win that battle with the scale?

Are you fed up with doing ALL the right things… and then finding yourself standing in the kitchen eating your way through the entire pantry?

Hi

I’m Brittany Watkins. I know how you feel. I struggled with food cravings and emotional eating for more than 15 years…until I discovered a solution that allowed me to lose weight in just a few months.

Today, I’m an expert in reprogramming the mind using the most cutting-edge tools in modern psychology, and I’ve helped thousands of women lose weight and stop eating emotionally.

TNT logoThis program delivers the most cutting edge, powerful tools to: – Reboot your brain, just as you would a slow, bogged down computer

– Reprogram limiting beliefs about yourself and your body

– Lose weight without counting calories or depriving yourself of the foods you love

My deepest hope is that this will be the last weight loss program you’ll ever need.

My “secret sauce” is an East-meets-West approach based on leading edge psychology, neuroscience, and Eastern philosophy.

My methods encompass the most powerful modalities known on earth today: Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/Tapping), neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and energy healing tech

What i will learn How to reprogram your mind: Wipe out old mental “programs” that keep you stuck and addicted to food Release the limiting beliefs preventing you from having the life and body you want Treat yourself to burgers or pizza without gaining weight How to control cravings: Learn why your mind links certain foods to positive memories, and how to clear it Manage your cravings in public situations, like at a party or in a group Walk past a plate of cookies without feeling a bit of temptation .

How to stop binges in their tracks: Learn why you can’t stop eating once you start, and how this impulse is connected to your preverbal childhood Module 1 – Kick Your Cravings to the Curb Have you ever noticed how fond you are of your favorite snacks? Do they sometimes seem like a soothing parent you’ll learn how your mind associates certain foods with positive memories, and a simple energy clearing exercise that will reprogram this belief so you don’t have to eat food to feel good.

Bonus Materials VIDEO – Secret Finger-Tapping Spots Use these subtle tapping points to manage your cravings discreetly in public situations.

VIDEO – Ball of Light Exercise Learn how to release cravings in less than 5 minutes from this quick demonstration.

MP3- Morning Tapping Routine Learn a daily routine to help you maintain and implement all the lessons you’ll learn over the next 6 weeks.

SUSU“I have 3 words which really made me realize how much I have changed: Girl Scout cookies! They were on top of the fridge and in the past it drove me insane, just to even see them.. and not even a twinge or anything! I don’t feel deprived, I understand they do not soothe me, they are not love. So that to me is a huge, huge win.“– SU SUSU“Before the class I was drinking wine almost every night, just because I felt like it. Though I never tapped on the wine, I have found that I have no real desire to have more than a glass, and most of the time, I prefer to drink water!“– Maria

Module 2 – Supercharge Your Willpower Part 1: Stop Self-Sabotage Discover the limiting beliefs you may be holding about your family, friends, and other significant people that are keeping you stuck at the same weight. Then, learn how to reprogram these beliefs with a few simple steps you can do at home.

Part 2: Your Power Center – The 3rd Chakra Is your willpower non-existent? Do you tell yourself you won’t eat certain foods only to give in a few days – or even hours – later? Do you find yourself rebelling against your own rules? Discover how your childhood relationship with parents/authority figures dictates your ability to exercise willpower and controls your behavior around food. You’ll learn how to reprogram the unconscious vows you’ve made in your 3rd chakra so you can attain rock-solid willpower and say no to ANY food!

Maria“I finally lost the 5 pounds I had wanted to release for the last year or so. I had a huge block about getting under 130 so every time I got close, I sabotaged. I have never really been able to release weight without fasting, so this is HUGE!“– Maria

“I’ve naturally eaten healthy for the past couple days. The great thing is I’m not really feeling the usual self sabotage.”– Sara

Module 3 – End Emotional Eating Learn why you can’t stop eating no matter how hard you try, and what drives the emotional eating tendency. Master a cutting-edge new technique to push food away when you’re triggered, without feeling deprived. This technique took years to refine, but works in seconds.

How? It zeroes into the exact part of your brain where the impulse to eat emotionally is stored, and reprograms the neural pathways and mental “programs” that tell your body to stay fat. It upgrades your old “software”, telling the brain that it is safe to be thin.

By uncovering and healing the underlying emotional drivers that cause emotional eating, this technique provides a lasting, permanent solution and not just a quick fix. People who use this technique repeatedly report they can actually eat more and not gain weight – we have testimonials to prove it!

Bonus Materials MP3 – Audio Instruction Like a guided meditation, this mp3 will take you through each step of the process as I walk you through the “push the food away” technique when you’re feeling emotional. You don’t ever have to be alone again.

VIDEO – Why Do I Eat Emotionally? Listen as I explain the exact reason you eat emotionally and what you can do about it.

Leslie“I’ve had a bunch of mini breakthroughs after doing the ‘push the food away’ exercise. I never thought I could actually stop thinking about food. I am officially no longer an emotional eater.”– Leslie

Marge“I feel that I’ve reached the size that I want to, and it seems like I’m staying that way in spite of the fact that I’m eating more. It’s like my body doesn’t need the extra weight anymore.”– Marge

“It’s AWESOME. Brittany has the most amazing insights into the issues surrounding emotional eating.”– Tammy

Module 4 – DON’T Clean Your Plate! “Finish all your food!” “Clean your plate!” “You can’t leave the table until that food is gone!” Did you hear this every day growing up? I’m willing to bet you did. If so, no matter how hard you try to stop you’ll always finish all the food on your plate. And these days, when “bigger is better,” you’ll never reach your goal weight if your mental programs are insisting that you clean your plate.

Your parents thought they were doing what was best. But now, deep inside, when you don’t finish your meal you feel guilty and ashamed. In your mind, your parents are there, scolding you for not cleaning your plate. Good news is, we can make this stop with one simple exercise.

Bonus Materials PDF – Naturally Thin Eating Plan Do you ever wonder how certain people seem to eat whatever they want and stay thin? No, it’s not metabolism. They have a mental program, and you can learn it too. In this Naturally Thin Eating Plan, you’ll learn the secrets of naturally thin people and how they can eat things like burgers and pizza without gaining a pound.

Ruthi“It has just been absolutely amazing how much less interested in food I am. I’m just totally blown away. All my clothes are getting too loose, I’ve even had to move my bra strap tighter.”– Ruthi

“For the very first time in a VERY long time I ordered mahi mahi (sauce on the side) and steamed veggies at a restaurant last night… no feeling of deprivation and no rebellion AND it was DELICIOUS!! Plus, I only ate about 1/2. Thanks so much Brittany. I finally feel free and I am on my way!“– Bridget

Module 5 – I’m Too Sexy: Dealing With Sexual Attention. 80% of people who have trouble losing weight are unconsciously afraid they will attract more sexual attention with their slim new frame.

Just for a moment, imagine you’re at a restaurant, all dressed up for a nice dinner. You’re standing at the bar ordering a drink (or Shirley Temple!) and all of a sudden you are surrounded by 10 really good-looking men (or women!) who are complimenting you on how great you look…and asking for your number…and moving in closer…

Committed or not – does that give you a little stomach pang?

If so, it’s very common. This stems from old, subconscious “software” that just needs to be updated. Maybe something very bad happened to you a long time ago, or maybe you were uncomfortable with the way someone looked at you at some point.

Either way, it created the belief that “It’s not safe to be thin.” No matter how hard you try, you’ll never lose weight until you address this. Personally, I spent years working with this area of my life and wasn’t successful until I did a few little tricks. In this module, I teach them to you!at some point.

Peer Support Call A 90 – minute bonus call will be held during this module if you would like to explore this in greater detail.

“When I started tapping on this issue, I was terried and angry. But after ten weeks the emotional intensity has gone from a 10+ down to 0.“– Kaija

“You have given me so much hope that I can and am healing from a tragedy so very long ago.”– Joanne

Module 6: Lettuce Wrap it Up In this module, you will learn how to absolutely feast on lettuce for dinner—and truly enjoy every bite!

Lettuce for dinner? That’s it?! Does the thought of skipping your mashed potatoes or mac’n’cheese after a long day make you feel crummy?

The reason that diets are destined to fail is because they set off triggers from preverbal childhood. For many people, food unconsciously represents love and comfort. So every time they deprive themselves of certain foods, they experience anxiety, sadness, anger, and other rocky emotions, without knowing why – making it near impossible to keep weight off.

Brittany Watkins – Think and Thin published first on http://ift.tt/2qxBbOD