#...no wait i don't think she actually needs a justification for things she had nothing to do with and couldn't have predicted so fuck it

[nostalgia-tblr]

So I am ostensibly doing Fic Research by rewatching an episode of telly and re that post about Depressing Sylvie Headcanons I think it is probably correct and Sylvie no longer speaks Asgardian, for I def got the vibe that she has no idea what the words to that song are.

Meanwhile, look at the stance, look at the swagger:

This 'serenading the lady (or gentleman, or whoever) to win them over' technique has worked before and is expected to work again. That's confidence. Misplaced confidence, but it's still confidence.

However:

Oh no, the lad is smitten. Caught in your own spell, you idiot. You fool. You protagonist who will be heartbroken a few episodes from now.

[beevean]

Especially the justifications ranging from "Sonic is neurodivergent-coded" to "Sonic is canonically neurodivergent" in Prime grind my gears. I'm certain many of the same people are gushing about how awesome it is that Sonic Prime is CaNoN tO tHe GaMeS... as in, the games where Sonic:

knew that simply defeating and sealing away Chaos again would do NOTHING except make its hurt and anger only worse.

gave Blaze a kind and supportive pep talk, acknowledging what she had been through because of her pyrokinesis and duties as Sol Emerald Guardian and offering her his friendship with a reminder she can count on the people she's got to know during her adventure.

defeated Merlina but expressed sympathy with her hurt about her world ending while sharing his own philosophy of needing to live life to the fullest, without any call-outs about her attacking him earlier, boasts about defeating her, or scoldings about her negative view on it all.

Immediately came rushing back from Cannon's Core in the ARK even though he was seconds away from foiling the entirety of Eggman's plan with the fake Emerald because Eggman and Tails informed him Amy was in danger.

And those are only the examples I know for certain on the top of my head, without even touching upon everything that happens in games like Sonic Battle and Sonic Forces. It's not even that Prime!Sonic is particularly nasty or rude, he clearly adores his friends, but he can't read a room to save his life and he is legitimately just stupid. Which is clearly done because it can be used to write jokes, but he is stupid, in a way that a properly-written game!Sonic could not be even if he tried. And you mean to tell me the Sonic from the above examples is the occasionally-insensitive constantly-dumb hyperactive chatterbox that Prime presents him as? Please.

(I'm sorry, I figure you might have gotten tired of Prime discourse now, but in general the whole He's Totes Neurodivergent fandom perception annoy me, because they use that card to completely disregard any (in my opinion valid) counterarguments about any poor portrayal...)

Oh wait I forgot to add: the reason I came up with those examples is apparently because people think that Sonic (aka Prime!Sonic) has low empathy. Stolen from some probably-shady and possibly-unreliable site on the internet whose definition of empathy does otherwise seem to check out: "In general, empathy is the ability to understand or sense another person’s perspective, feelings, needs, or intentions, even when you don’t share the same circumstances. It can sometimes involve acting on that understanding, including offering help." And I ask, in what world does Sonic from the games lack empathy?????? He's literally the most empathic pep-talk-giving perspective-seeing help-providing understanding sweetheart on the entire planet with that definition!

I remember reading a post that proposed that Tails had high empathy and Sonic had low empathy, before Prime was a thing. And I had your identical "bruh???????" reaction. Sonic has low empathy? Literally where. Show me proof that any version of Sonic struggles to empathize with people. My man is actually pretty good at understanding others, as you accurately pointed out.

Anyway, I don't have ADHD and even I am getting annoyed at how it's been reduced to "hehe i'm soooooo silly and quirky and kiddy 🤪". If it's not Sonic, then it's characters like Tangle who has pretty much become a womanchild and fans defend her because she's "neurodivergent-coded".

Also, speaking of differences between Prime and Canon Sonic, while the latter was also relatively slow to the uptake to accept that he was not meeting his actual friends in Secret Rings and Black Knight, it was still not as ridiculous as the former, who apparently could not recognize that he was in the third different AU in a row and still was all "oh Tails am I glad to see you!".

And apparently Apple Metal was built to be like Sonic but way more obnoxious about it, which prompts Sonic to say "if I'm half as annoying as you I need to change". Which. *sigh*

and i'm pretty sure there was a boom character like that, but boom apparently sucks ass now while prime is the best western show ever. okay

[hellsbellschime]

I always love your takes on Dany because I think you explain her really well and was wondering what you think of this take by a Dany stan. It's got some uh... interesting ideas. Sorry too because it's quite long

The main difference in between Daenerys' political arc, and that of other "heroes" and their Houses is that Dany's is not currently a political arc relegated to fighting for Targaryen grievances and wins. Meanwhile, all other main House representatives in the narrative (Starks, Martells, Lannisters, Greyjoys, Tullys, Tyrells, Baratheons) are generally fighting precisely for nothing else but their own (and their Houses') grievances and wins.

That's where the double standards come in-

+ Daenerys is harshly and minutely judged for the quality of her every act, upon every single person in her narrative, bc her arc involves her aim to hold responsibility over the wellness of all these people.

+ Everyone else who are part of the Great Houses however are merely judged as per how they perform towards the wellness of their own Houses, because that's all they aim to perform for.

One girl dies in an act Dany is not directly involved in, particularly in intention, and the discussions are endless as per the repercussions and outrage of the occurrence. Because Daenerys took it upon herself to defend all these people, and this seems like a failure, particularlyin her POV: one girl with no other importance in the story and a few lines, among maybe millions. One girl. Hazea.

Robb Stark and his men, on the other hand, will kill, maim and rape thousands, or even tens of unnamed thousands, and there is no outrage; rarely discussed repercussions. Because Robb's political arc is not about protecting nameless people. Not about caring for the fate of one-liner non-noble characters. His arc is about the grievances of House Stark. About Ned. Readers judge him upon how close he gets to getting revenge on Tywin and Jofrrey, about how well/or bad he leads wars, not about what kind of leader he is to people, what kind of 'monster' he is to enemy commonfolk. The relevance of his eventual loss is not about the fate of his people, or enemy people, either. It's about his personal tragedy. It's about the tragedy of the remaining Starks.

There is outrage for Daenerys even killing her (leader) enemies. For everyone else, it's an undisputed aim.

Daenerys is even already judged for the possibility of a future where she will anything that concerns her actually being Daenerys of House Targaryen in Westeros. The possibility that any Westerosi people might die, while hundreds of thousands may have been dying so far at the hands of other Great Houses (directly and indirectly), and it's mostly irrelevant for them. But for Daenerys that judgement is everything. She is looked through the lense of "if she's a Queen she's meant to protect them, not kill them" tho she has not yet been granted that status, while those who have had the status of Kings, Queens and Lords of Westeros in the meantime have been responsible for the deaths of their own people all of this time.

No noble Northener really cares for a Jeyne Poole, least of all for a Hazea.

Daenerys alone is (harshly) judged as a leader of people, because that's her current actual arc. She is not Daenerys of House Targaryen currently, in a real sense, not really. Her family and House don't really matter where she is now, and to what she is doing.

Almost every other noble character (and I only say almost to partly exclude those not taking particular part in politics) is given the leniency of the tragic MC in a tragic family drama biopic. ALL THEY ARE IS X PERSON OF HOUSE Y. And in most cases nothing else matter. - end post

Well, obviously no hate to this person whoever they are and I don't necessarily think it's a bad take just because I disagree with it. I particularly DO agree on things like Jeyne Poole, and I think that is GRRM very intentionally trying to point out some huge hypocrisies with everyone in the story, even the "good guys", because it is incredibly unfair that no one will come to save Jeyne Poole while a fuckton of people will come to save "Arya Stark" just because they cared about Ned.

But where I don't agree is on that aspect in particular. Because it's not about winning or airing grievances for these great houses, a lot of their actions are largely driven by the fact that they simply care deeply about the other people who are involved in the war now or who have been hurt or killed in the past wars, and that is largely what is motivating many of them to do what they do. And in even more intense cases, they're going to war because they are in extremely immediate danger.

This is true for both villains and heroes, I mean Robb and Cat go to war against the Lannisters because there is an immediately mortal threat to their entire family, and even though Cersei and the rest of the Lannisters are clearly villains, their actions are also driven by an immediate mortal danger that their family is facing. And it's safe to say, a huge portion of what happened in the WOT5K would never have even occurred if a lot of these people weren't put in a position of "HOLY SHIT me or someone I love is about to die RIGHT NOW if I don't do something so I better fucking do something".

I feel like the story makes it clear that the wars that they are fighting are very pointless and brutal anyway. I mean FFS, GRRM does not accidentally traumatize the shit out of Arya by putting her in a commoner's position in a war that is supposedly being fought in her name. So I actually agree with the writer in the sense that there is a double standard when it comes to Dany vs. everyone else, but I feel like the double standard is valid because all of these characters for better or worse have a dog in this fight. Whatever they've done is incredibly personal and therefore pretty irrational for them.

And the fact that the men are rallying to save Arya Stark when they wouldn't rally to save a thousand Jeyne Pooles is very telling and demonstrates that they are extremely hypocritical, but it's also telling because they're not fighting for the "heir to House Stark". They repeatedly talk about how they're fighting for Ned's girl. It has very little to do with her nobility and power and a great deal to do with how these people feel about Ned not as a Stark, but just as a person that they knew and cared for who was horribly wronged.

So while I agree and recognize that a ton of the main characters have done the wrong things, often for the wrong reasons, it's personal, it's emotional, and it's irrational. And in a lot of cases it is driven by something as simple and pure as "I am about to die if I don't do something so I'm doing the first thing I fucking think of to get out of it". Even for the houses who initially got involved as a power play, it has become very much about the people that they care about and their own feelings rather than strategy and house advancement.

That doesn't magically make it moral, but it does make it hugely distinct from what Daenerys is doing. Because Daenerys doesn't have a dog in this fight at all. She has absolutely no personal ties to Westeros or anyone in it, and she is not in any danger from anyone in Westeros. Literally the only Westerosi person who has ever even really tried to kill her is a man she doesn't know and is already dead, and the only Targaryen she ever knew who even had a connection to Westeros was someone she hated who abused her horrifically and who is also already dead.

Ergo, Dany is a villain because she literally has no personal or political justification for the massive war that she's going to bring to Westeros. She is going to leave the place she's in that is a complete mess and desperately needs help even more than it did after her intervention, and she's going to invade a place that she doesn't care about beyond some imaginary concept she has about it in her head, has no connection to, has no need for her, and poses no threat to her.

She's not fighting for anything besides herself and her own sense of entitlement over Westeros. She's more harshly judged for her actions because they are completely driven by her own whims and desires and nothing more. She has the opportunity to think things through and plan and get advice and actually figure out the best way to do things, whereas every character in Westeros is reacting to something very immediate that they don't have a lot of time to consider and that is deeply emotional for them. But still, she doesn't even do that.

She's judged for all of the mistakes she makes because they're unnecessary and foreseeable mistakes. And, if she actually just waited and tried to figure out what to do instead of basically throwing herself into situations where she's suddenly overthrowing governments and ruling hundreds of thousands of people without a plan or any governing experience, then a lot of the bad things that have happened as a result of her campaign wouldn't have happened.

And obviously, I think this is a very intentional move on GRRM's part. I think he establishes that war is pointless and often outrageously hypocritical with the WOT5K, but there's a reason he gave Dany no one she loves and no one who needs her help and no one who poses a threat to her in Westeros. She's going to bring war to an already war-ravaged continent simply because she feels like it should belong to her.

That is drastically different than Robb going to war because his father has been falsely charged with treason or Cersei murdering Robert because he will try to murder her children if he finds out they're not his. And while all of the wars in ASOIAF are terrible and purposeless in the end, GRRM is going very far out of his way to demonstrate that Dany has literally zero justification or even explanation for why she acts the way she does beyond her belief in her own super-special entitlement.

[itsclydebitches]

The thing that feels disingenuous about Miles answer about Ironwood is that he was part of the writing staff that framed the general as a cool character to start with. I do think that the signs about Ironwood's evil were clear since V2 and in V7 he was an outright dictator from episode 1. Nonetheless, he was still consistently framed as a cool character, someone you can trust and rely. You don't get to blame the fans for liking a genocide if you was the one framed him as cool in the first place.

I actually don’t think being cool is the problem. If we’re satirizing and/or making a  statement about the toxic masculinity that leads to something like a dictatorship, then being “cool” is a crucial part of that. People don’t leverage the power they have by looking lame, they do so by appearing desirable, enviable, awesome. Being in the military is supposedly “cool.” Being a white guy with a giant gun is supposedly “cool.” Having power over an entire nation is supposedly “cool,” etc. If you only make such characters look revolting  — even when they are  — then you miss one of the main recruitment tools for this kind of rhetoric. Any version of Ironwood that’s meant to make a point about the dangers of following someone like him needs to make him look “cool” and then deconstruct that, pointing out the ways in which this cool veneer is a lie meant to pull you in. To do otherwise is to claim that evil people are always easy to spot. Making your villains “uncool” implies that the people who do appear cool in real life must be fine then. That good looking, charismatic leader is great. Why would I look critically at his actions? He’s too cool to be evil. 

My personal problem is not that “They made the dictator look cool and we can’t possibly expect the audience to tell the difference between someone who is truly good and someone who is just using various Cool Points to skate by” because that would be the point of such a character  — the work the show needs to do. My problem is that RWBY didn’t do that work. At least, not to the extent they needed to. Rather than making Ironwood a truly heinous character (prior to Volume 7 ‘s shooting, I mean) and allowing the audience to learn how appearing cool can’t hide that, they just made him good person. Straight up. Flawed, absolutely, but no worse than any of the other character on screen, particularly post Volume 6 when our heroes are frequently putting people in danger, seizing power, telling lies, keeping secrets, and generally acting in the ways we’re supposedly meant to condemn Ironwood for. Since talk of Miles’ vid last night I’ve seen three separate “Ironwood was always bad, idk how people can miss the signs” posts and those people are half right. There 100% were signs we were meant to pick up on. The problem is RWBY then went and deconstructed those signs. Ironwood didn’t just bring an army to a peace festival, he brought an army to an event he had good reason to believe wasn’t peaceful  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t wrest control from Ozpin (using a series of checks and balances that exist for this very purpose...) because he has an obsession with being in control, he did so because he honestly believed Ozpin was putting people in danger  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t step up post-Fall because he arrogantly believes he’s the only one capable of saving Remnant, he did so because he’s actually the most qualified: a fully trained huntsmen leading an Academy (like Ozpin) with an army and knowledge of this secret war. What, was Ironwood supposed to read the script and wait for the group of dropout teenagers to arrive and save the world instead? To say nothing of how his power and responsibility are framed as sacrifices, not something he sought out. Ironwood doesn’t want to be the sole ruler here. His desperate relief at having allies again proves it. Good setup for the rise of a dictator would have been Ironwood being cagey with his information and exerting control over the group... not telling them everything, not giving them more power, not letting them keep the Lamp, not taking arrest off the table so as to keep them in line, and generally doing the opposite of everything he did do to share that responsibility and power. RWBY got very good at giving us the first half of these red flags  — he has an army, he’s stubborn, he’s hurting Mantle, etc.  — but then time and time again introduced a context that changed that flag dramatically: they are fighting literal monsters, he’s no more stubborn than our title character, hurting Mantle is a consequence of a plan he thinks will help the whole world and our heroes back this. Those who insist that Ironwood was 100% a villain in the making (or a villain already) prior to shooting Oscar are working from their assumption of what his archetype represents, not what RT actually put on screen. Because RT is just really bad at writing a dictator character. They didn’t have the skill to manage someone who only appeared good on the surface, let alone a character with the complex nuance of wielding “coolness” to their advantage, which is why in Volume 8 they had to resort to cartoon villainy with literal, evil spotlights. It’s not that the audience is too dumb to pick up on those red flags, it’s that RT couldn’t manage to plant them without continually introducing valid justifications. You can’t say, “Bringing an army is a bad thing. Look at this dictator coding!” without me going, “Yeah, except in the fictional world you created an army does not represent the problems it does in our real life societies. This isn’t a guy amassing soldiers to go after oil, he’s trying to protect people from monsters. Not even metaphoric monsters acting as stand-ins for a minority group. Literal, evil monsters!” RWBY ignores its own context and a good chunk of the fandom ignored it too. 

The problem with that (besides the general frustration of someone ignoring parts of canon to forward a particular reading) is that the fandom’s go-to claim is that everything is meaningful  — and it’s a reading the writers very much support. Fans do not, as the above attests, push for a simple reading of, “Don’t think too hard about it. Just take the surface reading and run with it” which, while still frustrating, would have at least been a valid stance. Rather, they insist very strongly that nuance and depth are what drive the show. From the song lyrics to a tiny detail in the opening, everything is important and if you don’t accept that then you can’t appreciate RWBY’s complexity. 

“Okay,” I said. “Then in that case Ironwood coming around to Ozpin’s position is meaningful too? Glynda  — one of our best and most faultless characters  — supporting him is meaningful? Flipping his gun, defending Weiss, Qrow writing to him, the group working with him for months on end... all of it is meaningful to his characterization? You said so yourself.” 

“No, no, no,” comes the reply. “He’s just bad. But he’s also nuanced. He’s tricked you into thinking he’s a good person by acting kind sometimes, by getting support sometimes, but none of that is true. His actions are what matter and his actions are simplistically bad.” 

“Ohhhh. So then does that mean this story is really about the creation of a villain?” 

“Huh?” 

“Well, Ruby. She’s ‘nuanced’ in the same way. She acts kind sometimes and gets support, but her actions are terrible. She endangered an entire city because she couldn’t wait to see if Ironwood got his letter. She condemned Ozpin for keeping secrets about Salem and then kept those same secrets just two days later. When the kingdom was under attack she sat around drinking tea, crying on a staircase, just hoping someone would come fix things for her  — all while actively sabotaging the one person who was trying to save people, even if that action seems silly to us (let’s fly really high). So if we’re looking at the impact of someone’s actions outside of their intent, as we just did with Ironwood, then she’s a bad guy too, yeah?” 

“No! She’s the hero!” 

“... these characters don’t know she’s the hero from a meta perspective. If we’re supposed to judge the meaning of RWBY based on these details — ” 

“But it’s not just the details. It’s also the allusions. Everyone in RWBY is based on another person or character. It’s very complex and that inspiration drives their story, so if you don’t have that information it’s no surprise you’re confused. For example, this is why Penny had to get a human body. That’s what happened to Pinocchio!” 

“Oh! So then Ironwood is destined to be a good guy!” 

“What?” 

“Well, you just said the allusions drive their stories, right? The whole point of the Tin Man is that he always had a heart and just needed to realize that. So clearly — “ 

“No! He’s supposed to be a classic dictator, he’s only bad!” 

And ‘round and ‘round we go. RWBY’s writing is atrocious yet the fandom pushes this narrative that it’s all a complex, multi-layered story that requires taking every part into account to understand the “real” message... but when you try to do that with certain characters like Ozpin and Ironwood it’s, “No, actually, they’re just simple archetypes of Bad Men.” Nuance exists for the bees, but not other ships. It exists for the characters fans like, but not the ones they don’t. And RWBY’s inspirations have to predict the ending for this character... but not that other character. It’s a nonsense grab bag! 

Fans are right that Ironwood had a lot of red flags to set up this downfall. Fans are also right that those red flags were severely undercut, thus reversing their impact. Fans are right that Ironwood becomes a 100% bad guy who kills because he can and threatens to bomb a city. Fans are also right that this characterization feels absurd for Ironwood, both in terms of his morality and his intelligence (how does bombing Mantle help you now??) Ironwood is badly written. He was badly written in 7 and 8, if he was always meant to be a dictator in the making then he was badly written in 2-6, and he’s conclusively badly written when it comes to lacking a backstory and a canonical semblance  — two things are are supposedly driving all of this characterization. That’s the answer: not that he’s good, or bad, but that RWBY can’t write a consistent character, let alone a nuanced one, so it’s no surprise the fandom can’t decide on anything. What’s there to decide on? It’s that nonsense grab bag. In a different show I think making the dictator appear cool would be a crucial bit of commentary, but RWBY doesn’t have the skill to pull that off. 

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Coffee - T. Holland

Okay, I know I have requests but this song came on at work the other day and I felt super emotional and I had to write. The use of Tom was very last minute because I had no actual person in mind for the fic, and there are very little actual defining characteristics so you can imagine it to be absolutely anybody you want!

This has broken me, so I apologize in case it has the same affect.

TW: This story contains mentions of cancer, allusions to death, mentions of death, sadness, angst, allusion to suicide, a character with cancer, and all round sadness about death.

If this content may trigger you in any way possible, please do not engage with this fic. Your personal safety and wellness is important so please take care of yourself, my lovies.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17. Please do not copy, translate or share outside of the boundaries of tumblr without my permission. Please do not steal my work and market it as your own. Basically, don’t be a dick. Also, the above gif does not belong to me. Credit to @thollandgifs

Also, sorry the format is shit. I write on my phone so it’s hella bad.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed.

While his life stood still, hers moved. Most days he could barely move without the nausea taking over. His head pounding, body exhausted and weak beyond recognition. She had established a routine the minute she could. She made sure he had his morning coffee everyday. Whenever his eyes opened, she would be right by his side with his favourite beverage, bringing him breakfast and a warm, loving smile to entice him to get out of bed. She understood on days that his body fought him more than it already was - she was compassionate and considerate. On those days she would help him prop himself in a comfortable position, switch on whatever show they were watching at the time and curl up next to him with her work beside her.

His heart was often overwhelmed with the care she provided him. They were well into the fourth year of their life together, and he had no doubt in his mind that he would love her until his last days. He often solemnly thought of the ring he still had hidden in his drawer of their shared cabinet. He had made a vow to pop the question if he ever recovered, but the thought of that day never coming simply tore another piece from his already dwindling soul.

He would often sit in his chair, or on the bed in their small, studio apartment, watching her flutter around the house in a graceful way only she could. He had memorized her every move when she conducted the most mundane activity. The way she poured a glass of water, the way she tapped her fingers against her thigh to the tune of a theme song, the way she always made his coffee to pure perfection - in a way that nobody else had been able to do.

He had so much love for her, that he was terrified of it slipping away at any moment.

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

He was 24, and she was 25. They had already planned a life together. They had steady jobs, an intense and passionate love, names picked out for future children, dinner at his parents house every Sunday, lunch with her parents every Wednesday.

He just knew that he had done something to deserve such a fate. At first he was angry, terrified of the possibility of his soul leaving this earth, but as time went on, his self-deprivation grew. Apparently it was common for people in his situation. The fear of dying was clouded by a justification that this was meant to be. He had done something terrible in a past life, and karma was giving him the painful ending he deserved... but he despised the thought, because Y/N didn’t deserve to watch her boyfriend meet his end in this way.

He had thought of near every scenario in his life in which he hurt somebody - cheating on his girlfriend in his first year of college, letting Y/N down time after time, only for her to forgive him. The hurt he caused his parents when he was a teenager and full of such hate for the world. But now, all he could do was pray for forgiveness. He had hope that there was some way he could make it out of this, but he was losing hope rapidly.

Even as he sat with his love on their bed, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

“When I’m gone,” his voice was croaky, his throat dry and scratchy. “Please tell me you will find somebody else.” He fumbled around to grab her hand, winching as he caught her head snapping towards his in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t turn to see the expression on her face. “You’re so young, so full of life. Your life is going to be so beautiful.”

Her hand was pulled from his, and he steeled what was left of his nerves to get ready for whatever tongue lashing she had planned, but instead he felt the bed dip further beside him, her hands framing his sullen face on each side and softly turning his gaze to meet her own.

“Don’t you say things like that, Tom.” He forced his eyes to stare into her own. His eyes seemed as if they were always ready to release tears, and the intensity of the hurt in her own made his pool unconsciously. “There is no somebody else when the other half of my soul is already with me. I don’t need anybody else because you’re not going anywhere.”

Her thumb brushed away the tear that slipped from his chocolate orbs, ignoring the dark circles underneath that made his face seem further sunken than it was.

“You don’t know that,” he sniffed heavily, dropping his eyes down to his lap. His fingers unconsciously toyed with the bracelet she had given him years ago. A soft, black, faux-leather band. An unfit symbol charm dangled close to the strap, reminding him of her favourite line from her favourite book/movie - the perks of being a wallflower. He had gone wuth her when she got the titular floral piece tattooed on her forearm. She was so happy that day. “One day you’re gonna be in a nice house, a ring on your finger, watching your husband dote over your little baby and you will be at peace in the way I know you crave. I just... I know that will never be me, who slips a ring onto your hand, or waits for you at the end of the aisle. I won’t be the one who holds your hand when you meet your baby, or the one who can give you the life you deserve - the one you want.”

His eyes snapped up to meet her own when he heard her breath grow shaky, but the action caused his brain to lose its equilibrium and he had to close his eyes for a moment. He hated doing so. Every time his eyes were shut, it was a moment that he lost of memorizing every line, curve, angle of her body. He opened his eyes again when able, and he was met with her own eyes as red rimmed as his, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“Don’t you every talk like that, Thomas Stanley. You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be the one to do all of those things because you’re going to make it and we are going to love each other until the end of our time, together. I’ll fucking Romeo and Juliet this shit if I have to,” her dark joke was met with a wet laugh from them both, before her face melted back into seriousness. “I’m never gonna need another person, Tommy. I have you, and I will have you forever.”

“You make every day a blessing, my love.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over hers as he gathered the strength in his lead arms to pull her into a hug. “You make hell feel like a summers day, and I cherish every moment I have left with you.”

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

Their days continued on for another three weeks, the same routine of morning coffee and testing the boundaries of his own fatigue. Three weeks without the dreaded conversation arising again, until she woke to find him staring into the ceiling with such an intense and thoughtful gaze. She knew instantly what was on his mind, and she could feel her heart breaking into more little pieces.

“Tommy?” Her melodic tone was soft, snapping him from his nightmarish reprieve. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey. Thinking about us... when we were young and full of life,” he snorted into the dark room, Y/N’s soft laugh pushed through her nose and he felt her smile against his neck. “Just, thinking about how sorry I am for all of this. I’m sorry that I’ve turned your life upside down, that we have changed so much.”

He felt weaker. His body was fighting to hold on, and he felt that they both knew that. He was being eaten up from the inside out, but he couldn’t bear to leave. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t leave her alone. He needed her, he loved her. He wanted to be her husband and give her everything she wanted in life. He wanted to live, for her.

“I would change everything if it meant I could be here with you,” her voice was heavy, riddled with sleep. Neither of them get much rest anymore. He is always up and down, and she frets too much to sleep through his late night jolts and retches. “You’re worth every minute of every day, Tom. You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you chose to have Can-“

“Don’t say it, baby, please?” He pled, silencing her before she could say the word. He hadn’t once uttered it since the day he found out. She had relayed the information to their families, holding his hand the entire time as he sat motionless. “Makes it more real than my emo ramblings.” His laugh was humorless, but he didn’t intend it to be so.

She apologised softly, snuggling closer to him. She knew how much he loved the feel of her body on his, how the intimacy of the comfort made him feel warm. Back when he could handle the weight, she would sometimes wake up curled on top of his chest because he had sought her out in his sleep.

“I would do anything for you, Tommy. I would give up everything I have just to see you smile. You’re the other half of my soul, my infinity.”

He felt a tear slip down his cheek. Her words always had that affect on him, but he loved the way she could send his heart beating with no effort. He loved her. So intensely.

“Sing to me, please?” A request he had let loose so many times before. He adored her voice, and the soft melodies that fell from her lips and lulled him to sleep.

She obliged with a smile on her face, and let the words tumble into his pale skin.

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do...”

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

Two more months passed. His doctors were satisfied, stating that he was slowly improving. His body was beginning to regain strength. He had begun to grow more hopeful, slowly but surely.

Until there was no chance for hope left.

Y/N made his morning coffee, but when she went to rest it on his bedside, he could barely breathe.

Her fingers dialed emergency services faster than she thought possible, her voice cracking as she sung to him over and over, hands cradling his head in her lap as he whispered his love for her.

The coffee went cold as the red and blue lights approached.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed

Tag list: @starshonerose @snookiebrookie @another-lonely-heart @mantlereid

If you would like to be added to my tag list, comment here!

[extasiswings]

Do you think that Ana would have stayed for so long if Eddie hadn't been shot?

Like a part of her felt that she morally couldn't dump a man that had been shot.

And not "just a man", he's a single dad fire fighter hit by a sniper while saving a child from his abusive mother. I don't know that I could do it and not feel like I was an absolute piece of shit.

I remember when Allie left Buck in his hospital bed and fans were pissed off at her for abandoning him in his time of need.

Or maybe she thought it was a hurdle that she just needed to get through, a stand by your man situation. Like of course he's acting weird he got shot by a sniper, I like him and things will eventually go back to normal, just wait it out.

And in that case do you think that "wait it out" could turn into a bitter "if you want me gone you're going to have to man up and tell me yourself" nonsense (unlikely), or even a "I might be lonely but at least I'm not actually alone"

I feel like there are so many justifications you can make for yourself for staying in a relationship like this and yet people seem to be taking a more smug approach to it of " if I was in a relationship like this I would simply leave, rip to Ana but I'm different." Like I'm loving the self worth and confidence you have people but uh, not everyone has that.

And this isn't even touching on maybe she didn't want to abandon Christopher.She said in jinx that she misses the kids she taught, we know she likes Christopher.

Is it so crazy to think that her rational was the same as Eddie's? To make it work for Chris???

I know we'll probably never see her again, let alone get her side of the story, but there had to have been a reason she stayed.

I'll be totally honest here and say I don't really spend that much time thinking about Ana because she was a cardboard cutout right up until they finally gave her half a personality this season (and even then mostly only during the breakup scene). But the red flags were there even before the shooting, when they were maybe five ish months in and it was the first time he introduced her to anyone else besides Christopher in his life (and even then wasn't really "introducing" her because she and Carla already knew each other) and she was clearly uncomfortable/felt like an outsider with him/in their relationship and he wouldn't touch her and he didn't trust her. I don't think the shooting mattered. Especially because I would eat my hat if he let her play any significant role in his recovery whatsoever (since that would have required actually being vulnerable with her). But it's entirely possible that she thought him being shot might be an opportunity for things to change between them and then stuck it out for another four months while they just...didn't. Of course there was a reason she stayed, but it doesn't really matter what it was and it doesn't change my opinion. If nothing else, we know damn well that she's not some victim who was coerced into staying in this relationship, the choices that she made were her own, freely made with full agency of choice, and therefore I personally am not sympathetic to the perspective of "all of this is Eddie's fault for not breaking up with her sooner."

I do think it's unreasonable to assume her logic was the same as Eddie's though. She was not doing this for Christopher (lest we forget, she did not originally want to meet Christopher again as Eddie's girlfriend). She wanted Eddie. She wanted him to feel the same way that she did. And she was hurt and upset that he didn't and she threw it in his face during their breakup (which, again, is a perfectly realistic emotional reaction given the circumstances, but as an audience member just doesn't land for me). That was pretty clear to me. Not only from what was said during the breakup scene but from all the ways she has been trying to manufacture intimacy with him specifically and had it just fall totally flat (not the least of which being the Bad Touch at the end of the breakup scene).

[writingsfromstarfleet]

Tom Paris - Not The Worst

♫ - This Heart I Know - Westward The Tide

For a lovely Anon, I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for reading! Hugs! ♡

The crew of Voyager was lovely. Every single crew member was a delight, and you had no problem getting on with any of them. Well, all except one, that is.

For whatever reason, that you failed to be able to put down in the beginning, you never truly could get on with Tom Paris. He was cocky, confident and overzealous, always having a certain charm about him, particularly when it came to women. That made your eyes roll. His attitude and overall aura made you cringe, and your brain told you that he needed knocking down a peg or two.

It wasn't for Tom trying, though. He did make attempts to talk to you, but he was talking to a very stubborn Starfleet officer indeed. You were adamant in your distaste of him, often choosing to leave and work when he would join you and Harry in the mess hall. Or if he entered a room you were in, you would slowly sneak out or dismiss yourself. Tom was not blind to such acts from you, and often he sat wondering just what he'd done wrong. He wanted nothing more than to see you smile at him, to greet him with a friendly hello, to actually stick around when he was there. Often he was at a loss as to how to approach you on such matters.

The captain was not blind to this, either; she was perceptive enough to see the tension between you both when you were in the same room. Janeway caught the narrow-eyed glances, she caught the biting remarks, and she smiled every single time. Your crewmates saw the tension between you, they saw every argument in the mess hall and every disagreement on shift. Your captain, however, saw through that. Janeway saw the opposite.

"Lieutenant Y/N, please report to my ready room."

Sighing, you acknowledged the voice of your captain, placing your current timewasting project down and dusting yourself off, standing and heading out the door of engineering. You were tired, all you wanted to do was sleep. You couldn't disobey your captain, though. Duties came first. As you walked, you wondered what she could want, certain you were not in trouble given you only ever went about your day and back to your quarters.

Reaching the captain's door, you took a breath in, suddenly nervous for what awaited you. As you stepped inside, your captain was indeed sat there, along with your personal nightmare incarnate.

"Hello, Y/N, please, have a seat." Janeway spoke, her usual soft smile present on her face as she gestured to the seat beside Tom.

"With all due respect, Captain, I'll stand." Your voice was taught, and you didn't catch Tom's eyebrow raise, shocked at your hostility. Saying nothing, he just sat there.

"Very well."

The meeting was in session for all of two minutes before you had left, information dealt to you that you could have lived without. Quite happily, for that matter. The absolute last thing you could imagine wanting to do was spend an away mission with Tom. Still, your captain called for it, so there was no room for argument; you held far too much respect for Janeway to argue such a decision. As you left her ready room, you were furiously walking to prepare yourself, ignoring the calls of concern from Harry, inquiring if you were alright.

Walking for what felt like hours, you arrived eventually at the doors of the shuttle bay. Sighing, you shook off your bad mood as the doors opened, revealing just one ensign tending to the electrics in the room. With a curt not, you acknowledged her and continued psyching yourself up almost for what was to come. Your wait for Tom to arrive had you thinking things over.

Why did you hate him so? Was he really as bad as you had convinced yourself he was? Sure, you didn't like his attitude towards women, nor did you like his overt cockiness when it came to certain things, but was this really justification for your behaviour?

Before you had a chance to think more into those matters, the noise of the doors opening pulled you from your thoughts. Tom swaggered in, a little less confidently than usual, and he almost looked nervous. Despite his sheepishness, you locked eyes with him and he gave you a small smile. A one-sided one off you made itself known, and no words were exchanged.

The ride down to the planets surface was a quiet one, a tense one, and it left a lingering feeling in the air that could only be described as awkward. There was nobody to distract either of yourselves with, nobody to change subjects, nothing else to keep your attentions away from each other. In this moment, neither of you knew what to do.

Things took their turn when the shuttle began to malfunction, communication to Voyager completely shut off. Panic arose in you, and in Tom, but your Starfleet training helped you both keep a cool head. Tom had tried his best to fix the issue, but having not known what said issue actually was, he was at a disadvantage. The shuttle eventually landed, albeit not as gracefully as one would expect from a pilot, but he had done his best and you were safe.

"We should find somewhere warm, this shuttle'll be far from that once the light dies down." Tom spoke, the first words shared since you had left the ship. You knew he was right, the metal of the shuttle, given the regulators weren't working, would only make for a very uncomfortable and cold night's sleep if you were stranded here for that long. Nodding, you followed him as he began to search for somewhere nearby to camp out. He reached a small cave under a rock face, and you dropped the bag down with supplies in it and crashed down against the wall.

"Tired?" he mused, attempting somewhat of a personable conversation with you. You chuckled, though offered no response vocally. "Why do you hate me, Y/N?"

At this, your head shot up at him, curious as to his blunt words.

"I mean," he started, taking a seat next to you. "Every time I try to talk to you, or hang out with you, you find an excuse not to be around me. I don't know what I did, but I apologise."

His voice sounded hurt almost, and you looked at him up close for the first time. He had the prettiest eyes, all different shades of blue quite like an ocean. You had always accepted the fact that Tom was a very good looking person, but seeing him this close only amplified such thoughts. You cast your eyes down to your hands, currently resting atop your lap, and shrugged.

"It's your attitude, Tom. I don't like how cocky you are, I don't like your overconfident act. I especially don't like the way you are with women, how you treat them."

Tom raised his eyebrows, though you hadn't seen, and thought sullenly on your words. They were harsh, but something he thought perhaps he needed to hear. He sat pensive for a few moments, and you had worried you may have offended him. His hands came to take yours, and his thumb brushed across the back of your hand.

"Then I could show you who I really am, because that's not me. Y/N, I know you've seen the worst half of me, but if you'd give me a chance, I have a better side, too."

Looking at him once more, his face was graced by a genuine smile, one that made you smile back. Never had that happened before.

"Is this another one of your tricks, Paris?" Your voice carrying a tone of mischief, he was shocked to find you toying with him. Tom laughed.

"Me? Tricking you? Never. Genuine honesty here on out, I swear."

Moments passed again, this time a more neutral feeling surrounding you. He spoke up, voice drifting through the silence quietly.

"Still hate me?"

"I suppose you're not the worst." You glared at him playfully and shrugged, to which the both of you erupted into giggles. The last place you expected to be was the position you were in right there, but you shocked yourself when you realised your brain had no complaint.

You scooted closer to him, blaming the cold when he had asked, and he leant his head on yours that had come to reside on his shoulder. Tom's hands had never once left your own. You stayed that way until help had arrived, and you knew from there on out that you were going to turn a spark into a flame.

[stardustizuku]

What is it that you hate about ladybug? I also don't like it very much

(This is a bit long and written on my phone. Sorry for the weird format!) but

1.- The Romance

I have time and time again praised ML for having an interesting twist on the Magical Girl Romance. In cases where a girl would be crushing on a guy who is crushing on her alter ego…they added the love triangle of the bad boy/good boy. Which is interesting when handled correctly

But I don’t think they’re handling it the best way possible.

The thing is…there’s a fine line between Slow Burn and plain reluctance to actually get to your end goal.

They make it clear they’re gonna end up together but they don’t really give us that much interaction…Especially considering the amount of time we’ve been in the series. I personally prefer the fanon versions because they seem more nuanced and with a quicker pace.

Because to make a slow burn work, you have to make them really likable on their own, or give a subplot that that drives the viewer away from the fact you’re still teasing the couple.

Sakura Card Captor does a magnificent job in my opinion, by making the B plot the cards and making friends. So, Despite everything, the plot is always moving forward.

Miraculous Lacks a concrete end goal aside from defeating Hawkmoth. Which causes the slow burn to be a bit tedious.

Compare it to Sailor Moon or Tokyo Mew Mew, where they had also very vague missions and chapters that didn’t move the plot forward. To make up for that, they had a relatively fast paced romance.

ML is stuck in the middle not really advancing the plot not the romance and you’re just left unpleasantly unsatisfied by both.

But it’s really the least of my problems with the show that’s why it’s on the top of the list.

2.-Aesthetics

I cannot emphasize how much I loathe ML’s designs. They’re ugly, 3D models feel cheap, everything is grey and colorless, or just way too saturated with primary colors. It’s plain ugly. It has very little artistic direction, I wouldn’t DARE put a single pic of the background as wallpaper, the aesthetics in general feel like New York not PARIS

As Magical Girl Enthusiast, aesthetics play a BIG part of the genre. Transformation sequences are polished to a T for this very reason.

The sparkles matter, the colors matter, the feeling matters.

It simply does not feel magical enough. And it frustrates me to no end. I would be passing so much shit if it weren’t for the art.

Because it seriously feels so low quality..,especially for the time it takes for a single episode to air…

WHICH LEADS ME TO

3.- the pacing

I’m actually trying to remember a single series with as much of a horrible problem of pacing as ML has.

45 EPISODES IN and nothing is substance has actually happened. Well yeah we got Ayla transforming into Rena Rouge

But by this point every single magical girl EVER was nearing its season 1 finale with most of the gang long since together.

ML Is waisting a lot of time with shit we don’t need.

We really didn’t need a whole season of the entire school being akumatized. And we didn’t need to wait a season to get our first partner (AKA Rena)

The series is all over the place. It takes FOREVER to update and they update one episode at a time, that gives little to no context on whatever the fuck is happening.

And then when they finally started showing us the Chat and Lady’s team members….it’s super rushed, they’re barely given time to breathe, or shine. They’re being given the miraculous with no real thought, or justification (just because Marinette wants) and they don’t even get to keep it! I know it’s something about keeping the secret but it’s seriously feels so fake that they have to turn their miraculous in every time she needs help.

It seems like a waste of time in universe and outside.

It overall feels…rushed. Not really well thought and even cheap to a degree.

It frustrates me to no end because I know it could be great.

And this is coming from someone who loves JEWEL PET. This is not a matter of “oh oh you’re just an adult asking for too much from a kids cartoon!”

I adore dumb mindless magical girls. I was a fan of the first season of SVTFOE and ML. If it sparkles I’m gonna watch it and I’m gonna like it.But ML doesn’t sparkle. Doesn’t have that great of a romance…and the pacing is worst that sailor moon.

Is this down in the bottom with KamichamaKarin? God no!

It does a better job that SVTFOE in regards of romance and has adhered to the themes more. It’s more along the lines of Jewel Pet, Fushigi Boshigi no Futago Hime and probably Princess Yucie.

Good but not that good. Passable but not memorable.

[tellywoodtrash]

Damn y'all here making me feel uncomfortable for actually liking Shivaay 🙈 Don't get me wrong I know his faults but I'm kinda sorta understanding why he is the way he is? Being raised by a greedy mom and dysfunctional fam will do that to you; And I only started liking him when he changed from SSO to annika's shivaay. I'm also on shivaay's side with the last separation because he MADE an effort to understand her on that day and recently. His rxn is justified. Plus I have a feeling he is now 1/2

Playing a game because when annika was crying after his disappearence, he was unfazed. This is the guy that still wanted to protect annika after everything she’s done when she came back to OM, either nakuul was having an off day or script called for his lack of reaction. Also we know to him his family is everything, so in the heat of the moment when annika reacted like that he did what he did out of anger and I don’t doubt that he probably wanted to find her but how she spoke to his fam ruinedit

Hey anon! 

I’m not gonna go tooooo deep into the whole “who is right - Shivaay or Anika” thing, coz it’s been done ad nauseum. They’re BOTH fucking idiots. (I gotta say though; of the two, I still think Shivaay is MORE wrong.)

Shivaay does NOT get to play the “minuuuutely inconvenient childhood” card to justify being a jerk. You know who had a worse childhood, in this very family?

Om.

He had an emotionally negligent father who was either always off working or philandering, and an absent mother who was lost to her alcoholism. He still turned out to be a decent human being, as did Rudra. Shivaay’s the golden boy of the house, the only child of his parents, who was brought up completely doted on by at least one of them, if not both. “My parents have too many expectations of me!!!!” isn’t really a justification to growing up to be a complete hellion - it’s just part of life when you have desi parents, lol. He didn’t even have to struggle through life to build this empire from scratch (like say, Arnav from IPKKND, or Asad from QH, who were abandoned as kids with nothing); it was handed to him on a platter, waiting for him when he stepped out of college. Of all the 4 Lions men, Shivaay has the least justification to be the asshole he is.

Also, in my opinion, SSO can’t be separated from “Anika’s Shivaay” either because… Anika’s Shivaay doesn’t exist in a vacuum. SSO has always existed WITH him, and more importantly, WON over him when it really mattered. There’s no point of him spouting pretty and romantic words about NKK not mattering to him to appease/woo her in private, when in the end, those were the very words and reasons he used for throwing her out of his life. In the end, the SSO of yore who mistrusted Anika and her intentions at everyyyy turn won, even after everything she’s done for him over the last year. Even now, SSO - who is guided purely by his ego and his need to break her completely, is the one in control. Only when Anika’s Shivaay, who implicitly trusts her (the way she trusts him to fix every problem that comes their way), and is willing to accept her with her ego and tadi (as she has accepted him with his) wins over SSO once and for all, can we say that he matters at all. Otherwise, he’s just a flickering hologram who is nice to see, but essentially worthless.

But honestly dude, you can like whoever you wanna like. The thing about fiction is that it’s often the negative characters, or characters with shades of grey, that are infinitely more interesting than the garden-variety good person. Example: Arnav compared to Akash, Shivaay compared to pretty much any other male in this show, Svetlana compared to… say, Prinku, Moriarty in whichever Sherlock Holmes variation you prefer, Kilgrave in Jessica Jones… The list goes on. These are the characters worth watching in their shows, because they’re the ones that create the drama and conflict and thus, propel the story forward with their (questionable) choices. But just coz a character is entertaining to watch shouldn’t make us forget, or worse, DEFENSIVE re: their faults. It’s completely fine to love them for being compelling characters, but to lose sight of the fact that they’re objectively awful people is kinda dangerous, and how such characters end up romanticized and influencing REAL LIFE behaviors in the first place.

Point is I’m not here to guilt you into hating him or anything. I’m just one of the million other faceless voices on the internet, who even am I to tell you to like/not like someone? Plus, like I’ve said before, I love the asshole too. I don’t want to, but he *is* my current trash son of choice. But I recognize that it’s a a purely subjective decision; not at all objective; and I encourage everyone else watching this show (and writing it! And acting in it!!!!) to recognize that too.

[kane-and-griffin]

I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.

Oh, my precious Kabby babies.  Circle up, it’s time for some firm butgentle life advice from Mom. 

First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (whichI’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sensethe short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer thisquestion.  You’re asking me to tell youwhy a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and forwhich there could be a thousand reasons. So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.

However.

(You knew there was going to be a however.)

Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also aworld where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we havethe full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it tobe.  The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is  why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t followback; it feels on some level like a personalrejection.  But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you.  You have the rightto post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to seeit.  Both of those rights are equal, eventhough you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s insome way “wrong.”  

I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship withthese people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and theyblocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with themdirectly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that theremay be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario.  It’s fully possible forboth of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:

1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that astranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your socialmedia sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,

and

2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makesme feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it isexactly what I want and need it to be.” 

They don’t need to have a reason.  That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality.  One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have toface - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel reallyicky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain  - is this:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incrediblyimportant, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, thisgets through:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention foranything you do or say.

The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, justbecause you want one.  The people you tag in meta don’t owe you rebloggingit to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you wantto prove you’re right.  The fans of the fic you write for your mostpopular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on yourrare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it.  Nobody owes you a certainnumber of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them,nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it whenthey feel like reading it.  We owe each other one thing and one thingonly: basic human decency.  That’s it.  Everything else is freelyoffered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it.  It’snot a transactional exchange.  If you make art or write fic and you put itout there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets tenhits or thousands it was still worth doing.  There will be people whoaren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it willparalyze you.

Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable.  It’s an extension of ourselves.  When someone is cruel to you or to one ofyour friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feelsshitty.  When you express an opinionabout something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YESTHISSSSS”, it feels great.  We all experiencethat in different ways.  Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women tolive up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by thecool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “didyou get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”.  So ona primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep coreplace as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party.  That feeling is super real!  It brings upalllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re aboveexperiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that justneed the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.  

I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she wasgiving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which likethe majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negativeones like memorized.  And she was like “CLAIRE.  WHAT THE HELL.  WHY DO YOU DO THIS?  58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLEONE.  TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEMVERBATIM.  THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.”  And I was like “… . okay fine when youput it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.”  So like my advice to you – advice which I havejust proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have justeroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probablyhave a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a badcollective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested inwhat you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people andit’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.

My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having thesetwo people block you on social media? Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “Ifeel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life?  You might be surprised.  It might be zero.  In which case, let yourself feel thosefeelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move onand keep on doin’ you. 

I’m pushing backon you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, likeyou’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person whoblocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made wasabout you and not about them.  That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated.  Be really, really, really carefulabout deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s abitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling atthe thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’tcome to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her toleave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazyand too much for her brain to handle right now. Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists.  The internet makes this so easy, the internetconditions us for this, and itconditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like,make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them andthey’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turnsthis into a situation that really doeshave a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to makeyou feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their listdown for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalateyou can’t put the horse back in the barn. It’s too late.  Now it’s A Thing,when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing.  And in almost all situations for almost allpeople in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please thinkcarefully before you make this A Thing.”

This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about theconversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social mediapermeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize formy verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in KabbyMom’s Advice Corner.  But I will sum upin bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up tospeed:

Everyone has the right to curate their own social media spacehowever they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.

They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want themto.

None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a signthat you should stop being you on the internet.

Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feelthem, as long as

You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyzeyou, and finally

You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as ajustification for treating them like crap.

Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends,creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic,opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social mediaworld will be a better place.

In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people thinkof me is none of my business.”