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#...this took a whole month to finish lmfao
roderickstrongs · 1 year
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Ronen Rubinstein as TK “Flabbergasted” Strand in 9-1-1: Lone Star (2020—)
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1K notes · View notes
jjkeverlast · 1 year
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accidental roommates | jjk (m)
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✦ pairing dilf!jk x fem!reader
✦ genre/au's dilf!au, roommate!au, roommates to lovers, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, crack & teeny tiny sentimental angst
✦ summary moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace.
yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate.
✦ word count 14.7k 🌚
✦ warnings second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook
✦ sexual warnings fingering | oral (f. receiving) | semi-hand job? | grinding | riding | biting (like once) | teasing | protected sex!
✦ author's note oh my god.... can you believe i actually finished this shit? lmao no me neither. i have to thank my amazing co-writer's for this collab @kooktrash & @jeonjcngkook for being extremely helpful when i've been stuck with some scenes! along with my favorite person and hyung @gimmethatagustd who was there whenever i needed to plan some scenes and for reading out my entire outline. also, big thanks to my beta @pjiminbloomx who took her time in listening me rant about this for over a month. i love you jyad. <3333 and just overall every single one of you who have encouraged me about this. i can't believe it got this long BUT hey! it didn't get above 15k which was my maximum for this fic. enjoy this super cracky and long stupid fic with these two idiots. <3
this fic is a part of illicit desires collab! go read the other stories if you're hungry for more dilf jungkook ;)
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For the first time since a week ago, you’re finally able to breathe for once. The sigh you let out is comforting and freeing. The awful ruckus of moving has caused you to roam on the streets with a lack of sleep, eye bags that can be caught from miles away and a groggy voice not daring to disappear from your vocals. A mess really. You know it, your ex-roommate Ash knows it too and even though she and her partner are at fault here, it was bound to happen. 
You see, Ash had met Lucca through a mutual friend, the mutual friend being you and you were surprised at how well they complimented each other. The night they met was filled with nervous glances and flushed red cheeks due to the excitement. They both deserved each other. So, when they finally announced their relationship with you, you were more than thrilled. Although, after a year of them dating they had come to the conclusion of moving in together, which was a big step for their relationship and a step back for you, due to you ending back to square one and having to find an apartment yourself.  
The image of Ash’s expression when she kindly asked you to move within the next month was imprinted in your mind. She didn’t want to kick you out this way, but it was an important and big step into her relationship with Lucca, and the decision needed to be made regardless. You didn’t really have a say in this. Firstly, the apartment was Ash’s and in the end, it is her decision on whom she wants to share it with. 
It took you a week. A whole week to find the perfect place for you. The pictures sold the place nicely, the living room looking spacious and decorated firmly with stable furniture and you being desperate to find anything you called the owner. The conversation went great. He was very quick on letting you get the apartment, sending you a confirmation email the day after you had agreed to the deposit. You were doing it, and it felt great. 
Although, your lack of sleep had been caused by the last-minute packing, having to clear out your room as quickly as possible. It was mostly because of Lucca themselves, having to move out of their sister’s loft, so the timing was indeed tight. But hey, everything turned out well even though you look like a Yeti who hasn’t been able to find a place to rest. It’s fine really, now you’ll be able to at least lie down before unpacking everything. 
With a trembling hand, you manage to push the code in, the door opens and you’re just about to step in when you look up and find a shirtless man in your apartment. You don’t say anything, the both of you staring each other down for a quick second before you manage to close the door, convincing yourself you’re hallucinating. 
It’s a thing, Ash told you countless times whenever you managed to withhold an all-nighter in your shared place. First, there’s being overtired where every ounce of energy left bounces like a little child on a trampoline, then there’s the lack of sleep eating you alive although your eyes fail you to shut, being used to staying open, which creates the last step: hallucinations. 
Maybe it’s the lack of sex which made you paint a beautifully sculpted man with tattoos only in a towel in front of you. You’re praising your brain for creating such a lively picture that causes you to grin and shake your head before you decide to re-enter. 
He’s there again. Your horny hallucination. 
The hallucination takes a turn when he screams into your face. ‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ It’s then that you snap yourself back to reality, realizing this indeed is a real person and you’ve managed to scare the shit out of them. The only thing you find yourself doing is screaming back, which turns into violent screaming in unison and by now half of the neighborhood is probably writing a complaint to this very apartment. 
‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ You find the courage to finally scream back and the man in front of your eyes squints in discomfort, shaking his head as he swallows your words. 
‘’Y-your apartment?’’ 
You fold your arms, scoffing as your head turns towards the open kitchen. ‘’Yes. Mine.’’ 
He begins to laugh, his abs tensing along with the rhythm and you hate yourself for growing hot over his upper body. 
‘’You’re funny.’’ He points at you and to prove yourself to him, you look for the confirmation email that proves you have the right to own this place. 
‘’Here.’’ He steps closer, the scent of his shampoo infiltrating your nostrils and you notice a form of sweet yet musky scent. While you’re too busy trying to ignore the scent, the man in front of you has his full attention on your screen. He smacks his lips, his composure straightening along. ‘’There has to be some sort of mistake.’’ 
You hum in agreement. How wrong could this possibly go? The only solution that comes to mind like a wave, is to call the owner. You hold a finger up, pausing for whatever word is about to come out from the stranger in front of you while it starts to dial. It quickly gets interrupted, by a voice telling you the number doesn’t exist. You refuse to believe it, so you continue to call three to four times while the man crosses his arms, sighing out loud. It’s at that moment you notice the detailed and colored tattoos covering his arm in a sleeve. 
“He’s… he’s not picking up.” The defeat drags itself at your feet. The proof you once had to own this apartment is gone, except the confirmation email but then again there must’ve been some mistake — a big one to say the least. 
“Do you honestly believe that?” His tone indicates he’s irritated and the water droplets on his skin have almost dried out — the fact that you notice scares you more than the situation you’re currently met with. 
“I mean, clearly, you’ve been scammed.” The words swallow you whole, your composure losing against you and your head drops with your heart. Of course, it was too good to be true, because again since when have you ever been lucky when you’re on your own? 
“Fuck.” 
It seems as if you’ve lost, but you’re not willing to give up just yet. You spent all of your savings on the deposit and the last thing you’ll do is ask your strict parents for money, which isn’t only super hard but exasperating as well. 
‘’Well now that this whole problem is settled, get out.’’ The tone is harsh and you flinch, tears threatening to spill as you slowly walk to the entrance. 
‘’Wait—’’ You hold your hands up, your feet freezing down on the tiled floor and the stranger’s expression turns into pure disgust yet confusion. You aren’t really sure, your mind is basically clouded reasons being your lack of sleep. Which currently isn’t helping the situation you’re currently standing in. If only you could snatch it like Margot Robbie snatches bags and watches in ‘Focus’. This reminds you, you should probably watch it again, it was really good and—
‘’Hello?!’’ The sound catches you off guard, your eyes roaming back onto the half-naked stranger whose name still stays unknown. 
‘’Just. Please.’’ You’re fucking tired and this was the last thing that needed to be added onto your plate yet you’re still standing, except you’re hopeless and homeless. 
‘’Please?! Get. Out.’’ 
You drop down to your knees, your tears falling freely and you plead. 
‘’I have nowhere to go. My old roommate is finally starting a new life with her partner, my parents are fucking strict and are the last I’m calling for help. I’m basically fucking homeless and I just wanted to lay down in my apartment after moving out last minute and sleep.’’ You’re rambling all kinds of nonsense, throwing a whole scene in front of a guy who’s stepped out of the shower. You feel bad but you’re lost. You have nowhere to go. 
‘’Seriously, I’m fucked. Help me out, just— just for six months and I’ll be out of your sight.’’ Your voice cracks, every limb that has managed to withhold your posture, collapsing all together into one. You’re done. 
A deep sigh catches your attention, your glossy eyes looking up to see a semi-smile resting on the guy’s face. ‘’Six months.’’ He repeats as he traces his fingers on the patterned ink, decorating his arm. 
‘’Fine. Just don’t make me regret this. I’m Jungkook by the way.’’ Finally, you discover the name of the pretty stranger. 
‘’Thank you. Thank you so much.’’ You’re holding yourself back from hugging him, mostly because of his naked chest and the last thing you need is to feel warm skin on your own. Instead, you introduce yourself and he smiles awkwardly making you reconsider your awful ruckus from before. You basically admitted how fucked your life is at the moment, bringing along the strict parents into the mix and we all know, this won’t end well. 
A sudden cry snatches every ounce of your attention, coming from one of the rooms. Has someone been here all this time? 
‘’Shit. I think we might’ve woken her up.’’ Her. Great, you’re gonna live with a clingy couple, after having no mercy in showing you were checking him out — multiple times. This is going to be absolute hell. 
All while you’re imagining the messy and mostly awkward encounters you’re going to face while living with a couple, you don’t notice Jungkook walking back out accompanied by a certain someone. 
‘’A baby?!’’ Great. Not only are you going to live with a couple, but their newborn baby too. 
‘’You sound… surprised.’’ He decides to sit down, the baby’s head resting on his bare and tatted shoulder, doe-eyed and mouth agape. 
‘’Where’s… where’s your girlfriend?’’ Shit. Are you even listening to yourself? You met this guy not even an hour ago and you’re already invading his private life with intense questions. 
‘’Don’t have one. It’s just me and So-ah here.’’ He taps her back, a few burps escaping her as you stay quiet. 
The scenery in front of you causes a faint smile to appear on the brim of your lips. If you weren’t determined to own the apartment yourself, you’d let every ounce of you swoon over how careful Jungkook is with his daughter. 
Jungkook takes a hold of her, changing positions as she faces him, her eyes as big as his. It’s crazy how alike they look. 
Your heart melts into a thick puddle when Jungkook rubs his nose against So-ah’s, a soft giggle sounding like a lullaby escaping her right after. 
‘’Oh my god.’’ Jungkook’s mouth drops and before confusion seeps through you he continues. ‘’So-ah you just laughed for the first time.’’ Fuck. You’re so screwed. 
‘’She’s adorable.’’ You smile fondly, Jungkook breaking eye contact with his daughter at your comment. 
His eyebrows frown, clearing his throat as he shifts in his seat. ‘’Thanks.’’ 
Okay, there were exactly two things that fumed you over his flat-toned answer. One was that he was still a complete stranger and you’ve always felt somewhat threatened and uncomfortable when people you didn’t know made or said anything that clicked an icky feeling at the pit of your stomach, which quickly turns to irritation. Because here you are being fucking nice and you get this in return? What a fucking asshole. Second, it’s probably an ego thing, thinking he’s hot enough to get away with being quite literally rude. If it weren’t for his sudden act of rudeness towards your very tired Yeti-looking state you might actually grow fond of him, but that is all forgotten now. 
You’re getting that fucking apartment. 
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Working as a kindergarten teacher meant a lot of things. Patience, energy, and consistency. For you to reach there before showing up at work, you’ll need to fuel your body with a smoothie. 
The clock hasn’t even turned six when you push the mixer’s button, a loud noise erupts in the quiet apartment. Did you do this on purpose knowing Jungkook isn’t starting work yet? Maybe. Did he notice, is fucking angry and walking up to you at this moment? Very much so. 
‘’Seriously? What the fuck?!’’ The shouting from your roommate pleases your early morning state and you force an annoying smile as you greet him with a cheerful good morning.  
‘’It’s for work!’’ You push the button for a little longer, his eyes rolling back when So-ah starts crying in the room next to you. The daughter does make you feel an ounce of regret but that’s mostly because you love babies and she’s made a good impression on you already. 
Jungkook groans in frustration, his grumpy state returning back to his daughter to soothe her while you hurriedly get to work. Your colleague is probably already there, having a different schedule than you. 
Traffic isn’t terrible and you’ve caught onto the lost sleep that vanished during your moving week. As you reach work, Taehyung waves excitedly to you from the entrance, while holding a cup of coffee. 
‘’You look awfully happy.’’ Taehyung remarks when you walk past him and inside, re-adjusting a few things before parents begin to arrive with their sunshine of kids. 
‘’I am.’’ Your mood definitely has something to do with nailing to piss Jungkook off early in the morning. That’s what he gets for being a complete ass after you’ve embarrassed yourself multiple times and just trying to be kind. 
‘’Care to tell me?’’ Taehyung moves his eyebrows, suggesting you got lucky and you quickly shut down the idea, shaking your head no along with you explaining it was an early win for you. 
‘’I basically pissed off my roommate this morning. He’s an asshole so he deserved it.’’ You shrug your shoulders, Taehyung following behind you as you both make the place ready, the clock ticking loudly behind you. 
‘’Roommate? I thought you had the place all to yourself?’’ Taehyung hadn’t gotten any updates from you since your stressful week, so it made sense for him to be completely lost when you mention Jungkook in the context of your cheerful mood this morning. 
‘’I got scammed. But I’m not surprised. I’ve carried bad luck all my life and I blame it on my strict parents.’’ You joke, Taehyung chuckling nervously unsure rather you’re completely kidding or deadly serious. It’s hard to tell.  
‘’Scammed, meaning the apartment you thought you had was already occupied?’’ Taehyung has lived in the city all his life, and he has been familiar with the scammers roaming in between others, and cheating the system who carries a blind eye. 
‘’Exactly, and here I was thinking shit like that only happens in the movies.’’ You scoff at the ridiculousness of the overall situation. How come you ended here? Not only with a scam, but a buff tatted guy and his baby daughter? Truly fucking wild. 
‘’Oh babe, you’d be surprised. So who’s the roommate? An old lady?’’ Taehyung jokes once again, the sounds of chairs clinging against each other roaming in the air, the both of you settling in the common room ready for the children. 
‘’I wouldn’t exactly say an old lady…’’ Taehyung’s interest quirks an ounce higher, his movements stopping to a halt, waiting for you to spill. 
‘’His name is Jungkook and he has a baby daughter named So-ah.’’ Taehyung’s face drops, eyes wide as his mouth hangs wide because clearly, no old lady is named Jungkook. 
‘’If you tell me right now he’s hot, I’m gonna think you’re living out everyone’s fantasy.’’ Taehyung holds up his pointy finger, eyebrow intact with his overall movement and you cringe because you really don’t want to admit Jungkook is hot — even though you ogled his abs for a good 20 minutes the first time you met him. 
‘’He’s—’’ You try to form words, your mind flashing images of Jungkook with wet hair, droplets of water covering his abs that tensed whenever he chuckled at your ridiculousness the day you got scammed. 
‘’Oh my god… You’re living with a DILF.’’ The term Taehyung uses makes you wheeze, losing composure as you move your body along with the laughter that escapes you. 
Taehyung doesn’t get more of a word before the first pair of parents walk in, hand in hand with their child. The day has just begun. 
Meanwhile, Jungkook is currently taking care of So-ah. She hasn’t stopped crying since you decided to be annoying and flush down the good morning that Jungkook had anticipated. Maybe he should kick you out because right now his left ear hasn’t stopped ringing while his daughter’s face is almost pure red due to her countless cries. 
‘’So-ah, please.’’ Jungkook places her down on his chest, her face rubbing on it, wetting it along, the discomforting sound continuing. Jungkook feels lost and he wants to revenge himself on you because you’re probably dancing at work while he’s here, with dark eye bags and a crying baby under his arm. 
Sometimes it makes him wonder if it would be different if So-ah’s mother were still around. Maybe she wouldn’t cry as much. A mother’s touch is important for babies at her age and Jungkook feels guilty. In reality, he just wants So-ah to be okay, to feel understood, and frankly, at the moment understanding her is difficult. He continues to pat her back, rocking her back and forth in his gaming chair, set up by the computer that has an awaiting meeting for him in two hours. He can do this, he’ll just freshen up as soon as she goes back to sleep. 
The day spins around faster than possible, the sun already setting behind the building in an orange glow and Taehyung is currently wiping down the mess that was left on the tables since lunch. 
‘’So, regarding your dilf, is he single?’’ You’re close to spilling the scene where you asked Jungkook where his partner was only to get a no, which only made you more curious than before. It isn’t likely for you in the span of living to have met a single father. In most cases it’s single mothers, so to say you were surprised was an understatement. 
‘’He— Yes, apparently he is.’’ You’re uncertain and Taehyung casually nods at the response, making you reconsider if you’re even allowed to be curious regarding Jungkook’s living situation. 
‘’Well, this is the start of a beautiful love story.’’ You stick your tongue out in offense to Taehyung’s joke, while he cracks himself up, his boxy smile on display as well. 
‘’You’re the worst.’’ He trails right behind you, as you close down the place and leave it behind for tomorrow. 
‘’Right, but if anyone were to ask you’d still point at me for being the best colleague you’ve had.’’ He’s not entirely wrong and you get to prove it to him by remaining silent. 
After you and Taehyung part ways, you hurry home in desperation to see if the grumpy expression is still remaining on Jungkook’s face from this morning. To your surprise, it isn’t. You find Jungkook sprawled on the couch, his chest exposed and his baby daughter laying on top of him, both of them breathing in sync. 
If Jeon Jungkook didn’t open his mouth from time to time you’d start to like him, because seeing him sleep in complete silence makes him seem… not so bad as you had thought. But then again he was rude even though he certainly helped you out after your scam episode. 
You decide to make dinner, leaving the both of them to rest while listening to soothing jazz music. Somehow with time passing by and the smell filtering through the apartment as it cooks, Jungkook stirs awake, So-ah along with him. He manages to push himself upwards, holding onto So-ah and finds you swaying as you cook in the open kitchen. 
Memories cloud Jungkook’s mind back when he was still with— 
‘’Oh! You’re awake.’’ You had felt a pair of eyes boring at your back, so when you turn to see Jungkook spacing out you make yourself noticeable. 
‘’Yeah, smells great by the way.’’ It’s then Jungkook realizes he’s yet to wear a shirt and it’s become an accidental habit of being shirtless in front of you. The last thing he wants is for you to get the wrong signal. 
‘’Thank you.’’ You take the compliment lightly, letting it pass by your head so your focus remains on the main goal; having Jungkook willingly move out. 
Jungkook is completely oblivious to your plan, although it would make sense if he slowly started to catch on to your smoothie early morning surprise. But for now, you’re hungry and there’s still a good five months left before you leave each other’s sight. 
The dinner turns out successful, So-ah doesn’t cry once and both you and Jungkook groan afterward, bloated from overeating. He thanks you before returning back to his room, leaving you to do all the dishes. 
Great. 
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Living with Jungkook had run smoothly, your hopes in gaining the apartment fading the more time went by with him being extremely kind. It hadn’t offended you but you were certain he was rude and didn’t like you. But an early Monday morning, Jungkook proved to you exactly how much that apartment means to you. 
You hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that night, the walls a lot thinner than you had anticipated and So-ah had cried most of the night, not only waking her dad but you as well. Babies are wonderful creatures, but at night it surely paints a different motive than the one you’re being met with during the day. 
Blaming Jungkook for your lack of sleep would be rude on your part, so you accept it by making a cup of coffee early morning. It was the next best solution and as you’re sitting on the counter, waiting for the water to boil, Jungkook walks in dressed in black joggers and a white t-shirt. 
‘’Morning.’’ You’re holding back from laughing at how alike the both of you look. So-ah really destroyed you for the better. Jungkook joins in on the coffee solution, making his mug ready right next to you in silence. 
When the water is ready, you jump down, pouring the warm water after adding a few teaspoons of instant coffee. Jungkook follows you right after, stirring it with his spoon. As you walk towards the refrigerator, Jungkook is quicker than you, pulling the milk out and pouring it into his mug. 
‘’Could you pass me the milk?’’ Jungkook grins at your question and it’s then you notice he’s poured the remaining drops, leaving no milk for you. Fucking marvelous. 
‘’Better luck next time.’’ He winks at you, slowly walking back to his room as you flick him off without him noticing. 
Yeah, you definitely spoke too soon when you even let yourself think Jungkook might be a nice guy. He’s not and he just started a war. 
Taehyung notices how different your state is today, the flatlined smile throwing him off guard. Being the good colleague that he is, he makes you sit down as he prepares everything. 
‘’I’m not doing this for free, spill.’’ You groan out of tiredness and anger, holding your face that can barely keep up with everything around you. 
‘’Fucking… Jungkook.’’ You squint your eyes, already plotting how you’ll manage to rip every part of him apart. Taehyung would lie if he admitted that you in your current state isn’t scaring the shit out of him. 
‘’I was beginning to think he was remotely nice, until this morning.’’ Taehyung hums along, uncertain where exactly you’re heading with this conversation. It’s something Taehyung has learned about you in the past years you’ve worked alongside, your conversations always turn in a different direction no matter how precisely you start them.  
‘’Taehyung, would you get pissed if someone took the rest of the milk when you’ve already prepared a cup of coffee?’’ 
‘’He didn’t—’’ 
Everything makes sense for Taehyung. Jungkook has practically started a war with you because one thing everyone should know when it comes to you is to never mess with your morning coffee. Specifically when you desperately need one. 
‘’He surely fucking did.’’ You scoff out of disbelief. ‘’He even laughed when he emptied it.’’ The images flash through your brain once more, a betrayal that has caused a lot of damage to your already ruined morning state due to So-ah. 
‘’Go make yourself some coffee, don’t let him get to your head for now. It’s not worth it.’’ Taehyung was right, it would stupid to hold milk accountable for Jungkook and your reasons for despising him. Hopefully, it was a mistake and you’ll return home with a better state of mind, Jungkook leaving you rather at peace.
You follow Taehyung’s instructions, walking inside the semi-small kitchen for staff, and begin making your fuel for the day. 
Work turns out easier after you get coffee in your system, Taehyung takes most of the tasks throughout the day to ease down any forms of headaches that might come along due to your lack of sleep. Small moments and gestures like these, remind you how truly lucky you are to have a colleague like Taehyung. He has never made things more difficult, always managing to make everything easy and simple. 
As soon as the clock strikes, parents fill up the entrance awaiting their children who are too busy playing outside, enjoying their free time. The sun has already moved down further, creating a beautiful sunset, whose golden rays move along the filled playground that’s messy due to every toy in sight being used throughout the day. The parents were kind enough to teach their kids to always clean up after themselves, leaving the entrance the remaining spot to clean. When you’re about to reach for a broom, Taehyung catches it before you. 
‘’Go home. I got this.’’ His voice is stern as if he already knows you’re about to plead to do it yourself. 
You let out a sigh, thanking him as many times as you can in the span of you dressing yourself up to go outside. Taehyung brushes you off, a semi-smile resting nicely on his framed face. 
The apartment is empty, silent, and dark when you enter. You wonder where Jungkook must’ve gone, the sky from outside already an ounce darker than when you stepped out from work. You’re not too worried, your petty self still being remotely annoyed with the morning incident. 
When you walk past the living room, you feel yourself crash down and watching a movie. It’s much needed after today and maybe it’ll slowly lull you to sleep. Since you were little, sleeping at night had always been a difficulty so a distraction in the background could likely push you towards the sleep you’ve been craving. 
You settle on watching a crime film that piques your interest on Netflix. You’ve managed to add a bit more lighting inside the apartment, a few lamps surrounding the couch.
The plot starts to reveal itself, leaving you speechless as you bite down on the blanket, eyes fully open, trailing along whenever someone moves on screen. You’re just about to catch a big lead to why the certain murder occurred when Jungkook walks in with So-ah drinking from a bottle.  
‘’Oh, hey.’’ You quickly say before averting your attention back on the screen. Jungkook squints his eyes, having trouble seeing the big screen but as soon as he catches on, he tsks. 
‘’Wait— Isn’t that the film where the protagonist is actually the killer?’’ The moment Jungkook speaks, a clue leads to having the protagonist on the list of who might’ve done it and now Jeon Jungkook just asked for a ticket to hell. 
‘’Are you fucking kidding me?!’’ You exclaim loudly, throwing both hands and arms in the air, frustration seeping through every vein coursing through your body. You’re seeing absolute red. 
‘’Oh shit, my bad.’’ You aren’t even glancing towards him, but you can hear the shit eating grin he’s trying to suppress. You close your eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, remembering Taehyung’s words from earlier. It’s not worth it. He’s right, it truly isn’t and you’re being weak by letting small annoying things set you off like a grenade. 
You’re not letting him win. Things have only just begun. 
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Returning the favor with annoying gestures had only turned the next two months into a living hell. The apartment went from walking on a dream to walking on eggshells. It had started with a minor mistake in the early morning with the dreadful lack of sleep and constant bickering. Your dreams of owning the apartment slowly crashing as you’ve been looking for new apartments, wanting to get furthest away from Jeon Jungkook and his annoying behavior. 
If it weren’t for Taehyung you would’ve handled the situation differently, but Taehyung has always assured you to stand your ground and not let him get to you. Jungkook has already been kind enough for you to stay, so to make it easier, it’d be best not to mess it up by revenging yourself. But you badly wanted to. Just once. To see Jungkook’s face twist to annoyance in a mere second, while you try your best not to sing happily right after. 
Although, the only thing keeping both you and Jungkook on the ground from ripping one's hair out, was So-ah. Her magical baby powers overrule the both of you, and her eyes are wide and full of hope for what’s to come. 
When you had first moved in, Jungkook wasn’t exactly fond of you being near his daughter but with time and his suddenly busy schedule, he had you keep an eye out for So-ah who was distracting him too much with her cuteness. So-ah quickly loved your company, your small jokes, and countless attempts in making her giggle. Jungkook couldn’t keep you two away from one another, so he accepted it. 
The weekend had finally rolled around and after a week of none other than small bickering and disagreements between you and Jungkook, you were finally at ease in your bedroom. The discussions between you were ridiculous — Taehyung’s words not yours. It could go from a minor detail, like the temperature in the apartment to a full-on debate on whether the film he wants to watch is better than your own choice. 
As you’re laying in your bed, you look up at the painted dark blue ceiling, your curtains open, accepting the outside light to shine in. You’ve always loved the natural darkness and how it covers every room differently than if everything is covered, turning to full darkness. You turn constantly, your mind being more awake than you had anticipated. It humors you that you always feel exhausted after speaking with Jungkook, yet here you are alone full of energy. 
Tossing and turning continue for what feels like an hour and you decide to give up. Rather than reading a book, you walk out to grab a glass of water, your throat feeling a bit dry. You figure Jungkook isn’t awake at three in the morning, which explains why you don’t put on pants, walking out in nothing but a satin white t-shirt, with black lace underwear. 
Even though you don’t like Jungkook, you still show respect to him and his daughter by carefully walking to the kitchen to not make any sounds. The living room has the same light as your bedroom and as you’re about to turn, you bump into Jungkook. His skin feels warm, but you quickly pull away and Jungkook blinks at you with tired eyes. 
‘’M’ sorry.’’ His voice is deep, groggy even and you collect the dots that Jeon Jungkook just woke up. 
‘’All good.’’ 
Thankfully, Jungkook is too busy going to the bathroom to notice your sleeping attire that exposes half of your body. You sigh in relief, accidentally catching a glimpse of Jungkook’s ass, being hugged by his boxers as he walks further away from you. 
You shake your head, ignoring what your eyes caught onto, focusing solemnly on getting water as planned. 
You’re about to drink your last cup when Jungkook walks past you once again. You’re not in the mood to talk to him, so you chug your water wanting to leave the kitchen as quickly as possible. It doesn’t exactly go as planned, the water trickling by the corners of your lips, further down your shirt. 
‘’Fuck.’’ You groan, realizing how much you’ve accidentally spilled. The fabric clings onto your breasts and as you’re about to pull on it, you catch Jungkook turning his head quickly from your direction. The action doesn’t throw itself in your head, instead, you become annoyed. 
‘’What?’’ Why is he still standing here? Shouldn’t he already be back in his room by now? 
‘’J-just grabbing some water.’’ Jungkook mumbles, his voice becoming an ounce lower and somehow it catches your attention that he sounds nervous? 
‘’Be my guest.’’ You move further away, trying to cover your lower half who’s exposing too much to your roommate who has managed to piss you off for two months straight with absolutely no reason. 
Jungkook keeps his eyes on the sink, although you throw a glance at him and you really wish you hadn’t. His arms are flexing as they hold onto the counter, and the prominent veins and lines of his definite muscles are showcased. You begin to notice each small detail of his tattoos that have managed to flow into one big art piece on his arm. 
You’ve been too annoyed with Jungkook to notice the minor details of him. His Adam's apple bops in the rhythm of the gulps he takes, almost inhaling the water quickly. Somehow your body reacts quicker than your mind, shivers coursing through your body the longer you stand and watch Jungkook. The staring gets cut off when Jungkook places the empty cup down on the counter. 
He throws a glance your way, your skin already feeling hot by the close space. ‘’Well, goodnight.’’ Jungkook walks past you, your faces inches apart for a split second before he’s gone from your sight. 
When you lay back down in your bed, your heart is beating incredibly fast and your body doesn’t stop growing hotter. What is wrong with you? This is Jungkook. As in your roommate, who’s made it his life’s mission in pissing you off and almost made you explode like a grenade for the whole world to see and the neighborhood to hear. 
All while you’re wondering why exactly your brain feels fuzzy, Jungkook is freaking out in his room. His dick has managed to betray him. He blames it on his lack of hookups, but deep down he knows it was because of you. His mind had fogged for a minute when he caught a glimpse of what was hiding underneath your t-shirt, but as soon as the water dripped down he didn’t even have to try and guess. He’s angry and frustrated at himself and if it were possible to have a one-on-one fight with his dick, he would’ve. His body had only betrayed him and that made him certain that he had to stay far away from you. 
Although, whenever Jungkook closed his eyes he could see your naked thighs, and the black lace seeping through the material of your shirt. He could see the water dripping down your neck, rolling further down your chest and creating a wet patch on your— 
This has to stop. Jungkook begins to think of everything that turns him off until his state finally gives in, letting him sleep. 
It takes longer for you. Your mind has always loved to play tricks, letting you imagine the what if’s of every situation you’re met with. They’re simple at first, only showcasing what you had seen earlier when your eyes didn’t stop studying every minor detail on Jungkook. But then they turn an ounce wilder. You’re tracing your fingers on the ink, while his arm is holding onto your waist, keeping you close and letting you feel his warm breath against your cheek. 
Fuck. 
Do you… do you want Jungkook? 
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Taehyung notices it the moment you step into work, how quiet you are, not daring to meet his eyes when he cheerfully greets you. Something happened and you’re not exactly proud of it. 
‘’So, am I gonna have to ask or are you going to tell me what happened?’’ Your eyes pop open, gulping down as you mumble out a weak ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ and quickly move on with your tasks for the day. 
Taehyung isn't letting that slide so easily and sooner or later he’ll either find out for himself or you’ll tell him out of panic. 
It takes Kim Taehyung exactly four hours to know exactly what has been bothering you and just as you’re about to leave the kindergarten, he decides to bring it up. 
‘’You want to fuck him.’’ You stop in your tracks. 
Okay, now is the time to use your fifth grade theater skills and act as if Taehyung didn’t speak your thoughts out in the open. 
‘’Fuck Jungkook? As in Jeon Jungkook, my annoying roommate who’s made my living situation a living hell the last two months? Oh please.’’ 
‘’Y/N, you know that doesn’t work on me.’’ You sigh loudly, rolling your eyes. 
‘’Fine, fine!’’ You throw your hands in the air, giving up and Taehyung just shakes his head over your dramatic antics. 
‘’I thought you, ‘hated his guts’.’’ Taehyung quotes you from the past hundred conversations you’ve had regarding your roommate and the new banter you’ve yet shared before you left for work. 
‘’I still do! This will fade, do not worry.’’ Not only are you trying to convince Taehyung, but yourself as well. 
Taehyung doesn’t argue with you. You have enough on your plate already and he knows you’re very much conscious of the mess you’ve brought upon yourself. 
When you leave work and Taehyung, your phone starts to ring in your pocket and you’re thrilled to see Ash’s name displayed. 
‘’Hi!’’ Your friend cheerfully greets you and the conversations immediately flows. She tells you how amazing it’s been living with Lucca and how they’re currently making her favorite dish. 
‘’That’s great babe.’’ When she’s about to ask you how your new apartment is, Lucca cuts her off, talking on the phone instead. 
‘’Y/N, come over! We have your favorite wine.’’ The offer tempts and you agree, taking transportation towards your old apartment. It doesn’t even faze you to text Jungkook that you’ll come home a bit later, too excited to see your friends again after so long. 
Jungkook has just finished changing So-ah’s diaper, when he realizes it’s dark outside and you haven’t come home yet. Just as he begins to worry, he scolds himself internally for worrying about you as if he even cares about you in the first place. You’re doing fine without him. Right? 
So-ah grabs Jungkook’s attention when she manages to roll over for the first time and Jungkook cheers her on, grabbing her face to give her kisses everywhere, her small arms flapping excitedly. 
‘’Wait, you have a roommate?’’ Lucca asks, as they pour a glass of wine in your almost empty glass. You find yourself sighing whenever Jungkook is mentioned and you quickly see the images of his body against the natural darkness in the kitchen. 
‘’Yes, two actually.’’ 
You spend the following thirty minutes explaining your scam situation, Jungkook and his baby daughter now being your roommates for the next six months. You mention your irritation towards Jungkook due to his annoying antics, and the kitchen encounter. 
‘’Woah.’’ Ash’s mouth has gone dry from keeping it open for a while, and Lucca doesn’t hesitate to drink up the rest of the wine in their glass. 
The situation is indeed complicated and overwhelming and you chug along with Lucca on the wine while Ash starts coughing. 
‘’But listen, just because I’ve thought about it doesn’t mean I would.’’ Excuses, that’s all you can bring to the table and Ash rolls her eyes at your ridiculousness. 
‘’Are you fucking kidding me? You haven’t had sex for almost a year. Babe, sorry but you’re gonna cave.’’ 
Your mouth drops in offense and you turn to get Lucca on your side, but they stay quiet which indicates they agree with every word. 
‘’S-seriously? You’re gonna pick Ash’s side over mine?’’ You point at your ex-roommate who smirks, knowing she’s won. 
‘’Y/N, you need a distraction.’’ Ash speaks first, holding onto both of your hands for comfort because she’s worried, you can see it in her eyes that slightly crinkle when she speaks. 
‘’A distraction?’’ 
‘’Yes, someone who isn’t Jungkook.’’ Lucca winces at the idea, watching Ash explain an idea that’s nothing but awful and stupid. 
‘’Um, maybe this isn’t—’’ Lucca tries to butt in, but Ash is stubborn. 
‘’Nonsense. Isn’t your friend Han-bin still single?’’ 
‘’Well, yes but—’’ 
‘’Perfect. Y/N, you should go on a date with Han-bin. Not only is he a very sweet guy, but he’s an excellent cook.’’ Ash tries her best to sell Han-bin as best as possible for you, and at this point you’re desperate to try anything. Anything to get Jungkook and his beautiful body out of your mind. 
‘’Okay, you can give him my number.’’ Lucca is about to throw a fight with Ash, but you’ve already agreed so there’s no point. 
‘’You’re not going to regret this babe.’’ Ash convinces you but deep down your gut feeling shifts uncomfortably at the idea. 
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Two and a half weeks. That’s how long it takes for you and Han-bin to find some time for the date that he’s planning. The pictures frame him nicely and it’s no lie that the guy is attractive, although your mood is dreading a weird feeling that you can’t exactly pinpoint. 
As you walk towards the exit, Jungkook notices how nicely dressed you are. Normally you don’t bother adding a formality to your outfits, but this… this is too classy, just not you. 
‘’Going somewhere?’’ You turn your head, Jungkook watching you from the couch as So-ah is laying on his legs, holding onto her dad’s pinky. 
‘’Actually, yes I am.’’ You answer confidently, holding tightly onto the strap of your bag. The bag whom your mom gifted you for your eighteenth birthday, when in reality you just wished for Jackson Wang merch. The bag is more expensive than your rent, and you feel weird using it today. Somehow you aren’t that comfortable being yourself yet, also the restaurant Han-bin has picked out is way too expensive for you to just wear your casual attire. 
‘’But, I’m gonna be late for my date so I’ll see you later yeah?’’ Jungkook tries not to react to the word date, but his jaw clenched as he tries to force out a fake smile. 
‘’Good for you.’’ Jungkook expects you to leave right away, but you catch him by surprise, walking towards him and So-ah. 
‘’Bye, pretty.’’ You squish her cheeks softly, as she coos excitedly and Jungkook’s heart skips a beat at the love seeping through the room. His daughter watches you with careful eyes as you remove yourself from the frame, walking towards the front door and Jungkook’s heart doesn’t stop pounding, he thinks he might faint. 
You’ve only been gone for an hour and Jungkook can’t stop thinking about you. His mind constantly brings back the small kitchen encounter and how both your faces were inches apart for a split second before he continued to walk towards his room. 
He needs to make this stop. He’s here at home groaning and frustrated over you, you who’s currently on a date and having a wonderful time. 
‘’So, then my roommate proceeded to drink the same water!’’ Han-bin explains jokingly and you’ve lost track of the many gross experiences he’s had with his four roommates. You’ve lost your appetite halfway through, the gross details clouding your mind, but thankfully it’s that and not Jungkook. 
Before you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, Han-bin compliments your hair and you smile at the sincerity of his comment. It makes you realize that Jungkook has never once pointed out something great about you. Wait, why are you even thinking about Jungkook? 
There’s only one solution for Jungkook to get you out of his mind. He’s collected the dots and it’s because he hasn’t sex for a year that he’s acting this way. You just managed to set him off. It’s nothing more personal than that. 
So, easily he’ll just need to get out there, maybe Jimin would be down to go clubbing tonight, and hopefully Jungkook gets to take someone home. Which explains why he’s now talking to his sister, arranging for her to have So-ah for the weekend. She gladly accepts, her husband shouting nonsense in the background which causes Jungkook to laugh before his sister has to hang up, because her husband is messing up everything in the kitchen. 
The date for you might’ve started out a bit weird, but slowly you realize Han-bin is a really nice guy and you enjoy talking to him. The conversation has a good balance, both of you speaking equally about interests, experiences… 
‘’Want me to walk you home?’’ Han-bin suggests. 
You have a lot on your mind, even though you managed to have a nice evening it doesn’t stop the nonsense that you’ve created for yourself regarding your roommate who you have the hots for. 
‘’I’m okay, thank you for tonight Han-bin.’’ 
It’s a little over midnight when you arrive home. The apartment is dark which is code for bedtime for the whole house. So, you play quietly, tiptoeing to your room and trying your best to not make a sound. 
You hear a sudden whine echoing in the apartment, and before you can ask any questions, Jungkook’s name is being moaned loudly and your body freezes in place. You’re stuck. Although, the moans don’t slow down, only increasing — the thin walls doing no favor for you. 
Emotions are all over the place. You don’t know if you’re angry, irritated, sad, happy, uncomfortable… you’re just stuck with no words. 
As you finally lay down, you squish your third pillow over your head, blocking out the skin slapping sounds and somehow — weirdly — the situation motivates you to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head. 
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Step one to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a clubbing partner. 
‘’Taehyung, shut up you haven’t done anything else than complain about the lack of sex you’ve been experiencing lately.’’ You reason, as you look through your closet for eye-catching clothes that surely will get you laid. 
‘’Fuck you, you always know what to say to get me to agree.’’ With a groan Taehyung finally says the magic word, telling you he’ll see you later. This was easier than you had expected. 
Step two to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a club loaded with hot people. 
Thankfully, Taehyung knows his way around town and the club he’s picked out is perfect. As soon as you both step in, the neon lights catch you off guard along with the hard base and the moving dance floor. 
Going out with Taehyung is fun, until he’s shoving his tongue down a guy’s throat. Apparently they met by the bar, and Taehyung being the flirt, persuaded the stranger easily. 
Sipping on your straw, you keep your eyes on a lookout for a potential hookup. Most are occupied, either sexting someone or having someone close by. The bartender in front of you notices the wearing frown that covers your beautiful face. 
‘’You okay?’’ The unrecognizable voice catches you off guard and when you set eye on the bartender, your mouth tries not to drop. 
The bartender is wearing a tight black t-shirt, showcasing his pecs and built shoulders. His hair is long, pulled behind a snapback. He looks at you with a worried expression, holding onto the counter. 
‘’I’m okay.’’ You force a smile. 
‘’Come on, I can tell something is bothering you. I’m all ears.’’ 
The offer is kind and just as you’re about to say no, the bartender continues. 
‘’Listen, I couldn’t help but notice your friend making out with that guy for the past thirty minutes.’’ You turn around, Taehyung is still going at it and you roll your eyes over your colleague being better than you at getting some. 
‘’Yeah, he’s got more luck than myself.’’ You sigh, folding your arms over the counter and the bartender cracks a laugh. 
‘’Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get lucky.’’ He winks and your body grows hot. 
‘’I’m giving it an hour, or else I’m leaving.’’ You crack, and the bartender raises his eyebrows. 
You watch as the bartender walks to the far side of the bar and comes out front to stand right in front of you. He towers over you and you have to lift your head to look into his eyes, watching as they darken. One of his hands snakes around to the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. Your chest is flushed against his own and now you can really feel the hardness of his pecs and your mouth waters. He places his other hand around to the side of your neck, lowering himself closer to your face. His lips ghost your ear, the skin making the slightest contact as he speaks.
"You don't need an hour."
A shiver rakes through your body at the proposition.
"I don't even know your name," you say with a hint of a giggle laced in your tone.
"The name's Namjoon.’’ You nod, tracing your finger on his broad shoulder while his eyes continue to explore every inch of you. 
‘’Y/N.’’ 
His grip tightens on you, and before you get a chance to speak Namjoon beats you to it. 
‘’Wanna get out of here?’’ 
It takes nothing more than for you to drag Namjoon home with you, leaving Taehyung and his hookup behind. 
Namjoon is bold that you’re completely blown away by his confidence. He’s managed to make you wet before even reaching your apartment. His words only build up the intensity of the situation and when you finally reach the front door, you look back, Namjoon biting on his lip as he patiently waits. 
When the code is pushed in, you grab Namjoon by the collar of his bomber jacket, until you reach your room. 
Namjoon doesn’t waste another minute, grabbing you once again by the waist to connect your lips in a needy and passionate kiss. It’s full of tongue, along with lip bites. You whine against them when the tip of his tongue coats your bottom lip as he mischievously smirks. 
Your hands tug on his neck, pulling him as close as you can, all while his hands slip under your shirt and roam on your naked back. His hands are slightly cold, sending a shiver. With enough pulling on each other’s clothes in desperation, Namjoon is the first to pull away trying to catch his breath. 
‘’Take off your shirt.’’ You don’t hesitate to obey, tugging on your top in a hurry before it lands on your bedroom floor. 
Jungkook had just finished a last minute task at work, realizing he had enough time for a game of Overwatch. He’s focused on aiming, the mouse moving at a speed, along with the clicks on his keyboard. Just as he’s about to reach a win, he hears the front door lock. 
He removes his headset, in doubt if he should walk out and greet you, ask you about your night with Taehyung or stay and play stubborn. The decision gets made for him, when he hears an unfamiliar voice coming from your room. 
Wait. 
Namjoon hovers over you, his hands wandering over your upper body, not missing one inch. His warm breath almost swallows you whole as you slowly spread your legs further beneath him. 
He catches the signal quickly, moving more downwards, letting his mouth trail wildly on your naked skin. He nips at it softly, before replacing it with a wet kiss. 
As he’s reached further down, Namjoon locks eyes with you, supporting both hands on your waist. 
‘’Can I eat you out?’’ 
When Jungkook hears the first moan from your room, he feels instant irritation. In reality, it’s not anything he can actually get mad about, when not even twenty four hours ago, he was knees deep in a stranger. But something ticks in Jungkook when he hears how someone else is making you moan like that. 
‘’Ah— Fuck!’’ Your grip tightens on Namjoon’s long dark hair, his tongue rolling over your clit in circles. 
Namjoon is making sure you feel every inch of pleasure, taking his time with his mouth and fingers. You’ve forgotten how great it feels, and Namjoon was definitely the right guy to bring home.
His mouth pushes further against your core, lapping his tongue wherever it can reach and your legs begin to shake under his touch. It’s been a while for you, so your body doesn’t hold you back any further from the reaching orgasm, coming from beneath you. 
Jungkook has blocked out the sounds from your room with his headphones. The sounds from Overwatch are helping him hear only the gunshots and effects the game carries, yet the sounds don’t stop him from feeling a tinge of jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit it, too stubborn to do so. But the thought of someone making you come this second, settles itself as an uncomfortable pit in his stomach and he grabs his mouse more aggressively, frustration coursing through his veins. 
What are you doing to him?  
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Time passes quickly, both you and Jungkook distancing each other from one another. You barely throw a glance at one another. For example, yesterday when Jungkook passed by the living room, you were sitting in silence as New Girl rolled in the background. He knows you could hear him passing, but you didn’t even bother to acknowledge him. Jungkook wishes deep down that the action didn’t hurt him, but somehow it did and now he can’t be around you for his own well being. 
Which results in one month of barely any contact. 
Although, it changes the day Jungkook has to go to a meeting. His boss was okay with him bringing So-ah, as Ji-eun didn’t have time to pick her up for a few hours — and he surely didn’t want to ask you. 
So-ah behaves, zero disturbance caused to the meeting and Jungkook lets her hold his pinky while his boss throws in the plan for the upcoming year. 
When the meeting ends, Jungkook gets a lot of praise from his boss which flusters him as he leaves the building. 
‘’Ready to go home So-ah?’’ She responds with her mouth doing all kinds of noises. She’s slowly growing more, and Jungkook is touched of how beautiful his daughter is becoming with each passing day. 
Going home doesn’t go as planned. You see, Jungkook had always worked from home, due to his job consisting of mostly online work. So he barely leaves the apartment except for grocery shopping or to meet Jimin. Which is the reason behind his big mistake; forgetting his keys. 
It was a new system. The code for opening doors had been dropped after scam episodes had increased. Last month the whole residency got new locks along with a pair of keys. 
Jungkook hates himself, because now there’s only one solution and he really doesn’t want to go there. 
When he pulls up by the kindergarten, Jungkook mentally prays the interaction won’t be awkward. Not that it hasn’t been awkward the last month, but this is different. He’s about to enter your workplace for a goddamn key, because his ass rushed out the apartment instead of being smart and double checking that he had everything before leaving in a hurry. 
You’re gonna hate him for this. He can already imagine the slight frown you’ll have, trying your best not to scold him harshly. 
It’s empty when Jungkook walks in, So-ah sitting comfortably in the infant car seat, which Jungkook holds onto tightly. 
‘’Hello?’’ He calls out, the hallway completely deserted. That’s until a man peaks his head out, raising both brows. 
‘’Hi, can I help you?’’ He walks towards him, drying his hands in what seems to be a cloth. 
‘’Hi, yes. I’m looking for Y/N.’’ 
The man in front of him drops his mouth before it turns to a boxy grin. 
‘’Oh my god. Are you Jungkook?’’ The face Jungkook makes, proves the man’s assumption. 
‘’Taehyung? Could you help me with— Jungkook?’’ He turns to see you, your brows in a frown as he suspected. 
‘’Oh, you’re Taehyung?’’ Jungkook completely ignores your confused state, too excited to meet the Kim Taehyung that his roommate is very fond of. 
‘’An honor.’’ Taehyung bows comically, and Jungkook cracks a laugh from the action. Just as Taehyung is about to crouch down to greet So-ah, you step further, meeting Jungkook eye to eye. 
‘’Jungkook? What are you doing here?’’ You ask. 
Taehyung ignores your question, greeting So-ah gently as Jungkook explains to you the situation. He tries to make himself sound less stupid than he was in the situation, but you don’t seem to buy it. 
You sigh, crossing your arms. ‘’How do you even forget a key?’’ Great, you’re starting a fight. 
‘’It just happened, now can I borrow yours so I can get home?’’ Jungkook’s tone is a bit snappy, and you notice, quickly fuming on the inside. 
Taehyung notices the tension, sending a glance to So-ah that screams ‘am I seeing this too?’ So-ah starts laughing and Taehyung knows internally that she agrees with him. He loves her already. 
‘’Fine, just— Don’t let this happen again.’’ You say sternly, before walking away to grab your keys. 
‘’Trust me, it won’t.’’ Jungkook rolls his eyes when your back turns. 
You aggressively shove the keys in Jungkook’s hand, Taehyung still having a conversation with So-ah throwing funny glances, but neither you nor Jungkook notice, too busy staring each other down. 
‘’Great.’’ 
‘’Great!’’ Jungkook responds more aggressively, saying a calm goodbye to Taehyung who excitedly waves to So-ah. And then he’s out of there faster than lighting. 
‘’Jesus, what crawled up your asses?’’ Taehyung asks, scoffing in disbelief. 
‘’Nothing. Now come help me with the outdoor tables.’’ 
He doesn’t ask any further, seeing you really don’t want to talk about it this moment. 
Jungkook has already started to cook when you ring the doorbell. He opens, greeting you with the expression he left you with at work. 
You return the same energy, not speaking to him as you remove your coat. 
You’re about to walk into your bedroom, to avoid Jungkook when So-ah catches your attention in the living room, rolling around on her own and chewing on a toy. She’s too cute to ignore, so you decide to join her, sitting beside her as you squish her cheeks in a playful manner. 
‘’Look at you, you’ve grown so much.’’ You can’t believe you’ve been a witness to So-ah’s growth. She’s already able to grab onto things, rolling around and rocking back and forth which is a sign she’ll be able to crawl soon. 
As you continue to play with her, letting her explore and sing as she babbles all kinds of nonsense, Jungkook turns to watch the scene. 
You’ve always been careful with So-ah, grasping her as your own and caring a lot for her. He’s noticed how So-ah barely cries anymore, being more calm in your presence. He can get used to this, watching you play with his daughter as he cooks for all three of you. He’s at peace, comfortable with everything in front of him and—
The realization hits Jungkook. 
He doesn’t hate you. 
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You don’t know exactly the moment you realized you didn’t hate Jungkook. It just happened. One day you were in the kitchen and he walked past you, minding his own business and you didn’t have any urge to throw a remark. No, you felt at ease, letting your eyes admire him rather than watch him out of spite. 
Panic seeped through you when you looked at the overall situation. You don’t hate Jungkook, you’ve thought about fuc— Shit. What does this mean? Do you… do you like him? 
That’s crazy, there’s no way you’re possibly liking Jungkook or even starting too. Which is why you agree to go on yet another date with Han-bin. Last time hadn’t turned out that bad. The company was nice, you felt comfortable and yet something just didn’t feel right. Maybe it was the gross experiences Han-bin wasn’t so afraid to share with you, or maybe… because he isn’t a certain someone. 
No. 
You’re going on that date. 
The moment you leave the apartment, Jungkook is taking his afternoon nap with So-ah so you don’t bother notifying him where you’re going. There’s a certain ache in your heart the closer you are to the location picked out by Han-bin. 
Once again, it’s too fancy for your liking but Han-bin makes the environment comfortable with the company of his wild stories. They’re less gross this time and you find yourself laughing at a few of them. 
Time flies rather quickly with Han-bin’s company. If this weren’t a date, you’d be more at ease because Han-bin is a kind person. But dating him might be a stretch for yourself, seeing your mind keeps tracing back to your roommate who probably still hates your guts. 
‘’Hey, can I be honest with you?’’ Han-bin throws you off guard with his question, but you nod regardless. 
‘’I’ve had a great time hanging out with you but,’’ Han-bin looks at you with a genuine and soft smile, ‘’I don’t really think there’s that spark you know?’’ 
‘’Spark?’’ Sure, you’ve dated a few people in the past but no one threw the word spark in the conversation. You think it’s cliché, like every romantic comedy who makes the spark obvious from the beginning. The spark that messes with the main character and their love interest, them tumbling against it until they get in a fight or have to share the same bed, which results in them sharing a passionate kiss and one of them magically proclaims the love they’ve always had for that person. 
That surely doesn’t exist in real life. 
‘’You know, the spark where you know that this person is much more to you. Someone who isn’t just a friend.’’ Han-bin says, his tone laced with hopefulness. It’s then you realize that Han-bin is a romantic, a person who believes in having a special someone for the rest of their life. 
‘’Yeah. I’m sure you’ll find that Han-bin. You’re a great guy.’’ 
‘’Wait, you’re not angry?’’ It’s cute how scared he is to offend you. 
‘’No, no of course not. I see where you’re coming from.’’ Han-bin’s shoulders loosen at your words, feeling more at ease since he’s decided to throw it in the conversation. 
Before you depart your ways, you both come to an agreement of keeping in touch as friends.
Arriving late at the apartment, you move quietly by the entrance. As you’re reaching your bedroom, Jungkook catches you off guard. 
‘’Sorry, did I wake you?’’ 
Jungkook shakes his head, ‘’you’re all good.’’ He doesn’t deny it and you feel a tinge of guilt, seeing the time is past midnight once again. 
You’re about to enter your bedroom door with a simple goodnight, when Jungkook catches you off guard with a question. 
‘’Hey, where were you?’’ Jungkook is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed which only showcase more of his prominent chest and his sleeve sneaking out of his loose t-shirt. 
‘’On a date.’’ You respond coldly, letting go of the handle. 
Jungkook hums, mumbling something along the lines of, ‘’I figured.’’ It throws you off, in a not so cute way. 
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ It’s almost as if he spoke in a tone for you to hear on purpose, and you’re falling into his trap. 
He shrugs lightly. ‘’Nothing.’’ He’s about to turn around, wearing a smug smile when you continue, setting yourself up for whatever he’s trying to do. 
‘’Clearly it was something.’’ 
‘’Not really.’’ His unbothered attitude sets you off like a grenade, and you’ve finally lost your cool with Jeon Jungkook. 
‘’You know what? You drive me fucking nuts!’’ You aren’t bothered to care how much you’ve raised your voice. 
‘’You’re always pissing me off! For no fucking reason!?’’ Your face feels hot, the anger spilling out of you. 
Jungkook scoffs, unfolding his arms and moving closer to you. 
‘’I pissed you off because you started this! With your fucking morning smoothie.’’ He isn’t helping with the noise, raising his voice as much as you. 
‘’That was one time. Do you need me to quote every time you’ve managed to throw me off?!’’ Your veins are straining against your neck, giving everything you have into your shouting. 
‘’Go ahead!’’ 
‘’You took the rest of the milk. You spoiled the movie I was currently watching. You threw remarks whenever I did the slightest thing, and now? Now you’re commenting on my date!’’ 
Jungkook rolls his eyes at your comment, not bothering to answer you. Yet you continue, because you’re fueling on the inside. 
‘’You have no rights, when you were fucking someone else!’’ You’ve given the signal that you were somehow affected by it, and Jungkook quickly catches it. 
‘’You sound jealous.’’ 
‘’I’m not.’’ You cross your arms, determined to not let him think otherwise. 
‘’Just admit it!’’ 
Your faces are mere inches apart, both panting at a rapid pace. The whole room is heated and you feel yourself sweat underneath your shirt from all the shouting. 
‘’Fuck you.’’ It’s barely a whisper. 
Neither of you move. Eyes are wandering on each other’s faces and that’s when you notice Jungkook’s gaze dropping down to your lips. 
You’re seeing red, although your body feels heated as you move closer, Jungkook’s breath melting into yours. 
Jungkook studies your gaze, before he moves closer, his lips about to brush against yours. 
Just as you’re about to lean in yourself, So-ah starts crying next door, snapping the both of you out of your trance. 
‘’I– I better…’’ Jungkook starts. 
‘’Y-yeah, go ahead.’’ You stutter, moving further away and when Jungkook leaves the hallway, you breathe out. 
What the actual fuck. 
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The following days you avoid Jungkook like the plague. You’ve never been more confused and irritated before. And yet, you can’t stop thinking about it. How close his face was, how his lips were about to seek yours until So-ah started to cry. 
Decisions need to be made. You can’t continue on like this. You need to talk to Jungkook, without screaming at him and wanting to rip his face off. 
As you’re laying under the covers, your thoughts are spiraling around you. You’re contemplating if you should ask him to talk now, because your mind won’t let you rest if you don’t. 
Fuck it. 
You get up in a hurry, walking in a straight line directly to Jungkook’s room. After a few minutes of just staring Jungkook’s door down, your body gives in, knocking on his door calmly. 
When he opens the door, he’s surprised to see you. 
‘’Hey.’’ 
‘’Hi, can we talk? No fighting, just talk.’’ Jungkook nods, grabbing a hoodie by his desk. 
Jungkook doesn’t want to wake up So-ah, so you sit outside, with a cup of tea. It was your idea. Somehow tea always managed to calm down your nerves, and if you wanted to withhold your promise to not fight, you needed to drink some tea along the way. 
‘’What did you want to talk about?’’ He sounds nervous, and your mind re-directs you back to when the both of you were about to kiss in the heat of the moment. 
Instead of bringing that onto the table, you want to ask Jungkook some things that have never left your mind since you moved in. 
‘’It’s more a question.’’ You make it clear and Jungkook turns his head, nodding for you to continue. 
‘’What happened? Why is it only you and So-ah?’’ 
Jungkook lets your question sink in. He’s uncertain if he wants to talk about it, or rather with you. It has somehow been easier for him to distance himself, push you away as much as he could, but that isn’t enough. 
You’re still here, sitting next to him as you admire the stars while awaiting his answer. 
The silence overflows, the wind curving itself as a comfort blanket around you both as you admire the small lights peaking out in the city. 
Jungkook has always been scared of your curious gaze, yet now, it makes sense for him to tell you everything, let his shield down and give you everything that’s needed for you to understand him completely. 
It’s what is needed for you to stop fighting and stepping on each other for no reason. 
‘’Her name was Seul-ki.’’ You turn, surprised he’s answering your question and you stay quiet, letting Jungkook speak. 
‘’She was always selfish. I should’ve known better.’’ Jungkook trails his finger against the mug, images of Seul-ki flooding his mind. 
He looks up, meeting your eyes and you smile softly at him. The smile brings an unwanted comfort, but it helps Jungkook to go through with answering your question fully, 
‘’So-ah was around one month when Seul-ki got a huge opportunity for her career. She didn’t hesitate to take the chance. But with So-ah, it made it difficult for her to go through with it, so she wanted to give So-ah up for adoption and I just—’’ Jungkook takes a deep breath, slightly beginning to tremble. 
‘’I couldn’t. I couldn’t let her do it.’’ Jungkook’s hand trembles against the mug, keeping his emotions locked in, even though they’re close to breaking out. 
‘’So, she left us.’’ 
‘’That must’ve been really hard for you.’’ You’re trying your best not to hold him for comfort, knowing he isn’t exactly fond of you. But something aches in you when you see the tremble he’s currently carrying and how his voice has turned broken. 
‘’Yeah.’’ He’s in doubt of what to say. But something in him continues, letting his inner thoughts win him over. Every frustration, pain and heartbreaking moments he’s felt since Seul-ki left. 
‘’Sometimes I wonder if I have made the right choice. In the beginning So-ah would cry constantly, she’d be distressed and I couldn’t help because I’m not her mother. Sometimes you just need both of your parents and she— she hasn’t…’’ 
‘’Jungkook.’’ Your warm hand lands on his, catching him off guard. 
‘’You’re an amazing dad. So-ah doesn’t need anyone else. You’re all she needs.’’ Your voice is soothing, melting him softly. He believes every word, trusting you much more than he had anticipated and with the hopeful eyes you’re giving him, he knows he’ll be okay. So-ah and him will be okay, without Seul-ki. 
‘’Thank you.’’ Jungkook smiles, the first genuine smile he’s given you since you moved in. 
You stay in place, letting the silence sink in between you as the cold wind flows. 
The starry night is beautiful, alive even. Sparkling and twinkling above you, reminding you of the beauty behind this earth. As you admire the details, Jungkook looks at you, his heart healing the longer he does and he never wants to let go of this moment. 
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Everything becomes easier. You and Jungkook don’t fight anymore, instead you talk and grow closer as time passes. 
You’re still looking for a new apartment, even though the tension has eased down. A plan is a plan. 
Whenever you bring up the apartment search into a conversation between Jungkook and you, his demeanor changes quickly and he immediately shuts himself off. Here you were, thinking he’d be happy that you’re withholding your deal, not irritated. 
Instead of letting it get to you, you continue to hang out with Ash and Lucca. 
“So, Han-bin was a bad idea.” Ash repeats as you’ve told her how the two dates went. 
‘’I already called it the moment you recommended that idea. Like it was the best plan you’ve ever had.’’ Lucca intervenes, crossing their arms. Ash rolls her eyes at her partner, too embarrassed that they might’ve been right. 
‘’But, Ash was right. Han-bin is a sweet guy.’’ You say to hopefully cheer up your friend who’s about to mop in a corner. ‘’We even decided to stay friends.’’ With that, Ash excitedly cheers, and it’s probably because she’s a firm believer in friends to lovers and that it’s the most realistic trope there is out there, meaning she thinks in two three months you’ll finally have a spark with Hanbin. 
‘’How’s the apartment search going?’’ Lucca directs the conversation somewhere else, mostly to cool down Ash who’s probably planning a pinterest wedding board for you and Hanbin in the future. 
‘’It’s going, I think I found a place.’’ 
The supermarket isn’t as crowded as Jungkook anticipated when he came to the conclusion at the last minute that groceries were needed.  
So-ah is clutched tightly onto him, due to the baby sling that Jungkook had mastered the older So-ah got. With her head squished under his chin, Jungkook walks freely, collecting the products at a slow pace. 
‘’Jungkook?’’ His eyes avert to the sound, catching Taehyung waving at him. 
As Taehyung moves closer, Jungkook places down the item to greet him properly. 
‘’Hi So-ah.’’ Jungkook turns so Taehyung can get a better look at her, her eyes turning wide when she sees Taehyung. 
‘’She likes you.’’ Jungkook notices and Taehyung squishes her cheek carefully. 
‘’The feeling is mutual.’’ He cracks a smile. ‘’How’ve you been? Last time I saw you, you and Y/N were about to bite each other’s faces off.’’  The tone indicates he’s joking, although still curious as to how the relationship stands between the two. 
‘’It’s… It’s better.’’ It actually is, and Jungkook’s lips curl into a smile with the memory of your conversation. 
‘’That’s great to hear. She’s been super stressed with finding an apartment.’’ The information throws Jungkook off guard. Are you that desperate to leave? Right after he opened up to you? 
Taehyung quickly catches how Jungkook’s eyes turn downward, his jaw clenching. He’s uncertain if he should point it out, or leave it as it is. 
Thankfully, he gets saved by a call. 
‘’Hey, sorry my brother’s calling me. I’ll see you around?’’ Jungkook nods, and Taehyung softly says goodbye to So-ah before leaving with his phone by the ear. 
The uncomfortable pit never leaves Jungkook’s stomach after his run-in with Taehyung. He knows that there isn’t much time left, and you had made him the promise to leave the moment it hits six months but now? Now Jungkook isn’t so sure if he even wants you to leave. 
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The last few weeks are spent on apartment hunting. You’re barely home, too busy being to open houses after work and on the weekends. It’s an easy distraction from your repressed feelings towards Jungkook and it’s exactly what you need. Sooner or later you’ll leave your roommates and start over on your own. 
Jungkook has an urge to tell you how he feels, how angry he is that you’re leaving but you keep missing each other. Whenever he passes by your room, he’s close to doing it but then you’re in a hurry to reach the next open house. 
If he hadn’t felt anything for you, he’d be extremely grateful that you’re doing all of this. You actually kept your promise and made yourself trustworthy. 
But, time is ticking and Jungkook is running out of time. He needs to do something, fast.  
The weekend rolls around, and Jimin comes to pick up So-ah for the night. 
‘’I owe you big time. Thank you.’’ He hands Jimin an overnight bag, with everything he needs to take care of So-ah. 
‘’Don’t mess this up Jungkook.’’ He gives a warning and Jungkook’s palms start to sweat. 
‘’I won’t.’’ Jimin leaves quickly after, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts. 
Work runs smoothly for you, Taehyung and you, having fun with the children throughout the day but as soon as the golden sunset comes to view, you’re excited to come home. 
Home. Soon that home will turn into a different place and it makes your heart drop by the thought. You’ll miss Jungkook, with his crazy and annoying remarks. You’ll miss So-ah, her galaxy eyes and her curiosity. 
But nothing lasts forever. 
The apartment feels empty when you walk in. You don’t hear So-ah or Jungkook’s Overwatch that he always forgets to turn off. 
When you move to the living room, Jungkook is sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing at a quick pace. 
‘’Jungkook?’’ His head snaps up. 
‘’Y/N, hi.’’ He gets up, moving closer to you. 
‘’Are you okay?’’ He hasn’t stopped rubbing his palm on his neck, a nervous habit you’ve quickly caught onto while living with Jungkook. 
‘’I’m fine. I need to say something.’’ His voice is stern and you quickly step back, nodding. 
‘’Okay.’’ 
‘’I don’t want you to leave.’’ Your heart stops at his words. 
‘’What? Why?’’ 
Jungkook steps closer, his breathing uneven as he studies your face. ‘’B-because…’’ The nervous stuttering doesn’t stop and Jungkook closes his eyes for a moment. 
‘’Because I–’’ 
Jungkook doesn’t continue his sentence, pulling you closer by the waist before he lets his lips glide above yours. His lips feel soft, and your breath hitches subtly right as he presses them down to yours. 
The kiss is short, Jungkook pulling away just before you have a chance to act upon it yourself. 
‘’That’s why.’’ Jungkook doesn’t let his arm fall from your waist, still holding onto you tight. 
You don’t respond, instead your hand moves upwards, resting it by his cheek. Jungkook gulps by your action, leaning into your hand for more comfort and you smile softly at him. 
‘’I won’t leave.’’ You confirm and Jungkook’s body loosens, melting against yours as he reconnects your lips in yet another kiss. 
You clutch yourself to him, as your lips move in sync, giving each other every comfort needed. 
Neither of you move away, letting the kiss grow heated. When Jungkook slips his tongue past your lips, you’re almost drowning in his touch. He’s careful, teasing you along the way while giving you a taste of himself. You’re just about to pull him further in when he stops, leaning his forehead against yours. 
‘’Do you want to—’’ 
‘’Stop? No.’’ You hover your lips above his, before you whisper. ‘’Please, don’t stop.’’ 
You’ve waited too long for this, and now that you finally have Jungkook you don’t ever want this moment to stop. 
Jungkook’s demeanor changes completely, his softness somehow disappearing and an ache begins to grow between your legs on what’s to come. 
He turns you both around, pushing you down on the sofa. Jungkook continues to kiss you, his hand wandering on your breasts, before it drags further down, grabbing your thigh softly. 
You offer to touch him everywhere, starting by his back. Your hands slip through his t-shirt to roam on the naked skin. It feels delicate against your palm the further you drag it upwards to his nape. 
Jungkook’s breathing changes due to your touch, his lips moving further down, reaching your neck. His tongue traces patterns, letting you feel the wet sensation while your hold on Jungkook tightens. 
It doesn’t exactly click for you that Jungkook is hovering above you, giving you his time with his tongue on your neck. And it only excites you more that it’s finally happening. 
‘’Jungkook.’’ You murmur under your breath, bucking your hips forward in hopes of grazing yourself against his bulge. 
He groans against your neck at your neediness, giving you a small bite which makes you gasp. 
‘’You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting this.’’ He says softly, his words trail gently on your skin, and you smile from the confirmation he just gave you. 
When he reaches your waistband, you grab ahold of his cheek. 
‘’What are you doing?’’ It’s not that you don’t want to, of course you do. You haven’t thought about anything else for the past three months of living with Jungkook but you’re nervous. 
‘’Let me make you feel good. Can I?’’ You gulp, nodding nervously, letting him have his way with you. 
Jungkook doesn’t even struggle when he takes off your pants, removing them perfectly and it almost makes you crack up at how ideal it was. 
Your grin is exchanged with a frown of pleasure when Jungkook traces his fingers on the fabric of your thong. He’s making you work for it and frankly, you don’t mind. 
The pad of his fingers press down on your clit, making your breath hitch by the sensation. You feel everything yet nothing and it makes your body buck into his hand. Jungkook smirks by the sudden action, continuing to tease you with his fingers until you’ll plead. 
The touching continues, a few presses once in a while making you hiss. He hasn’t dared to move beneath the fabric and your patience is running on a thin thread. 
Without thinking further, you grab ahold of his wrist. You’re done with his teasing. It’s unfair that he’s here, taking his time with you when you’ve both been longing for this exact moment. 
‘’Jeon Jungkook.’’ He grins at the use of his full name and you want to throw a fit. 
‘’I’ll stop, I promise.’’ He pecks your lips, and considering you trust him, you let go of his wrist. 
Some things truly never change. 
He keeps his word, removing the fabric instead of teasing you further. The cool air hits your core, making you shudder before Jungkook can continue. His palm keeps itself rested on your thigh, while his tattooed hand comes in contact with your slit. 
The first few strokes are slow, collecting some of your arousal and spreading it all over. Jungkook’s mouth is agape, eyes heavy as he watches your exposed heat and his fingers decorating it with slow movements. 
‘’Fuck, baby.’’ Jungkook breathes out, stunned to have you like this. 
The nickname causes your cheeks to heat up, flustered by such. 
No warnings, and Jungkook inserts both fingers slowly, stretching you with ease. The feeling causes you to moan, as you’re too entranced by the pleasure. 
There’s something about the way Jungkook works with his fingers that almost sends you into orbit. The way he gently curls them, making them pet on your g-spot whenever he manages to get his fingers all the way inside. The way his thumb traces circles on your clit, increasing the feelings evoking. 
When you begin to feel overwhelmed, you grab onto Jungkook’s forearm, pressing down. Jungkook is even more determined to make you come, maintaining the same pace. 
You feel the familiar pit in your stomach, forming as time passes. Although, Jungkook has a lot more on his sleeve than just touching you. 
Being too focused on the thrill of the situation, you don’t notice Jungkook crouching down. It’s first when he replaces his thumb with his tongue that you’re aware of the what he’s doing. Your legs are shaking beside him, feeling yourself get much closer and Jungkook wants nothing more than to taste you. 
To his luck, your body shudders followed by a high pitched moan as you finish. Jungkook pecks your clit, before moving upwards to face you. Your breathing is uneven, your whole body warm and you’re smiling softly at him.  
When Jungkook pecks your lips, you take him by surprise, grabbing onto his cock through the material. He groans against your lips, astonished by your bold move. You don’t stop, pumping him while your tongues consume one another. 
Jungkook is already hard. He’s been ever since you laid beneath him, spreading your legs out for him. Even though Jungkook is enjoying your touch, he’s impatient. 
‘’Stay here.’’ Before you can even question anything, Jungkook runs out directly to his room. He quickly returns, with a condom in hand. When he’s about to lay down, you push both of his shoulders, making him land in an upright position. 
You straddle him, wrapping both arms around his neck. ‘’Come on big boy, show me what you got.’’ Maybe you’re saying this because you know Jungkook will absolutely fall into your trap and amaze you. 
‘’I’ll show you.’’ His gaze is intense, yet he’s already fiddling with his pants, desperate to get them off. You aren’t exactly helping, grinding down on the material of his pants, which gets him distracted. 
‘’Y/N, please.’’ You’re suppressing a smile, commanding either way and lifting your hips to help him get his pants off quicker. You aren’t exactly better yourself, wanting nothing more than for Jungkook to fuck you. 
Jungkook is quick on his feet, rolling the condom with ease before gently pressing into you. Your knees sink further down, inviting more of him in and the unfamiliar stretch feels pleasant. When your knees have sunk fully down, you take a moment to adapt. 
‘’Shit.’’ Jungkook moans, mind spinning at how nicely you wrap around him. 
You start bucking your hips, a hiss leaving your mouth as you ride him tenderly. 
‘’Fucking hell,’’ Jungkook curses, his eyes now roaming your body and how smoothly you move above him. He takes the chance of grabbing your ass tightly, making you jerk your hips out of the sudden control Jungkook is regaining. 
His eyes avert downwards, watching how your bodies dissolve and how he disappears inside of you. 
The movement of your hips slow down, your body still processing your orgasm from earlier which had somewhat made you exhausted. 
Jungkook helps you, grabbing onto your hips, leaving you to sit still while he bucks his hips at a much faster pace. Your moans are clogged, too stunned to process the feeling of his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly. 
‘’Fuck—’’ You breathe out, clutching yourself onto Jungkook who isn’t slowing down. He’s surely showing you everything he’s got and you’re already close. 
With no warning, you tense above him, your orgasm washing over you, filling your body with warmth. Jungkook follows soon after, giving one last thrust as he moans against your neck. 
The both of you stay put, trying to regulate your breathing. 
‘’Was that good enough for you?’’ Jungkook asks between pants and you slap him lightly on the shoulder, because he knows it was better than good enough. 
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‘’Oh my god! Jungkook hurry!’’ You scream excitedly, still holding onto So-ah who’s standing on two feet, ready to take her first step. 
‘’Don’t let her walk!’’ Jungkook screams from the bathroom, finishing up his shower after his workout from earlier. You roll your eyes, holding tightly onto So-ah who’s trying to move out of your grasp to walk. 
Jungkook runs out quickly not long after, in only a towel because moments like these are rare and there’s no way he’s about to miss out on his daughter walking for the first time. 
‘’Okay, come here So-ah.’’ Jungkook kneels, spreading his arms open for his daughter and she screams softly, wobbling towards her dad but managing two steps in before Jungkook has to sweep her in. 
You clap excitedly at So-ah having taken her first step and you catch Jungkook’s eyes watering. 
‘’So-ah, you did it.’’ Jungkook kisses her on the cheek. 
Moments like these are only the beginning for the three of you, and you’re thrilled. 
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© jjkeverlast 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost any of my works]
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3K notes · View notes
moodreaderlesbian · 8 months
Note
hello! I really liked what you did with right where you left me … could we have a different breakup story - maybe Larissa initiated it but really she was trying to protect the reader/age gap insecurity but got really jealous and heavily regrets it afterwards? They don’t end up back together though I love HEAVY ANGST LMFAO thank u
this may or may not be a request from the only month of the year which starts with an f (I'm too ashamed to say it), but here we are. I started working on this not long after the request came in and finished writing it at like 4 am, on a random day in august. dearest requesters if you see this, I hope this is similar to what you had in mind
You Will Thank Me
Larissa Weems x reader
request criteria ૢ masterlist
summary: see ask
word count: 2.5k
warnings: hurt/no comfort, break-up, legal age gap, physical symptoms of stress/anxiety, vomiting, mommy issues (not in a sexy way) if you squint, mentions of past childhood trauma & abuse and self-harm
a/n: the biggest thank you to my babyfriend @fortheloveofaphroditesblessings for beta-reading this and helping me
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It had to be done. She knew she shouldn’t have even asked you out initially, but there was something about you, and she fell for you quicker and easier than she ever thought she could. Even your mere presence was intoxicating to her. Being with you brought her comfort she hadn’t felt before. But how could it not? You were charming, an absolute pleasure to be around and the most gorgeous person in the world. When you were in a meeting together, she could hardly ever take her eyes off you – that’s how her colleagues found out. It was her fault, really. She shouldn’t have been so obvious about her adoration for you.
They disapproved. Of course they did. She tried fighting them, telling them all about the ways in which you have made her a better person. She changed for the better, she was much better at handling stressful situations, she learned how to deal with students in crisis, and she became much more caring and loving, all because of you. You were the reason she wanted to be gentle and affectionate. You were her reason for everything.
But you were young. Too young. She knew that. And she’s been reminded of the fact almost daily since others on staff found out about your relationship. She’s seen your CV when you applied for the position of assistant librarian. You were just about older than her oldest students, which really should have put things in perspective for her. Yet, she couldn’t deny the fondness in her heart when she’d first heard that the board had hired you. Permanently, nevertheless.
Your relationship developed too fast, she was in love with the idea of getting to love you. You deserved all the love in the world. More than she was able to give, but she was willing to try. Loving you and being loved by you was no challenge, it took her by surprise how easily she found herself falling in love with you. It really was her fault that she had let this go on for so long. She was grooming you, it was clear to everyone, but her and her defensiveness whenever she was confronted about it only showed that she’d been living in denial. You deserved to be with someone better. Someone your age. Someone who didn’t corrupt you.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
“Rissa..” You look at her through your lashes as the two of you lie in your bed. She prefers not to spend the night. She says it’s because she likes the comfort of her own quarters, but you know she doesn’t want your colleagues seeing her leave in the morning.
“Yes, darling?” Her heart aches just looking at you. Your soft fingers resting on her bare torso as you lie on your stomach are like a punch in the gut. She has to end this. It can not go on any longer.
“Are you okay?” You ask, carefully dragging your finger along her ribs. She’s been unusually quiet the whole night, and she didn’t say a single word or look into your eyes, even as her slender fingers curled inside you. Larissa Weems is a talker during sex, whispering sweet nothings and praising you for taking her so well, attempting but failing to hold back profanities as she came herself. But today, she was silent, like you were just another task to get done, not her girlfriend. “You’ve barely said a word all night.”
“Of course, I’m okay. I just have a lot on my mind.” She says as a reassurance. She does have a lot on her mind. Mainly that this was the perfect opportunity for her to say what needed to be said but she couldn’t do it, which meant she’d have to keep you in the dark for longer and hurt you more when she finally had the guts to end things. You didn’t deserve what was coming, she wished there was another way but she’d thought of everything and she always realised that this was predatory behaviour too. Her colleagues were right, she was using you, and you didn’t even understand. You were too young and naive to see. Her stomach was in knots, but she deserved it. She already hated herself, more than you could ever hate her. “How was your day?”
“You don’t care.” You whisper quietly, and you know you sound hurt. Your eyes fall from her face to the sheets under you, you don’t need to see her face. If you’ve heard it, you’re sure she has too. You didn’t mean to sound hurt, you just wanted her to feel that you don’t believe her.
She hurt you. She hasn’t even said anything yet, and you’re already on edge. She needs to make it right. Or end it right now because she can’t keep watching you as she keeps twisting the knife inside you. “Y/n, I..” She’s going to have to go through with it now. She’s finally saying it. “I..”
But you cut her off. “I’m sorry. I was rude. I’m sorry. I just worry. You haven’t been acting like yourself.” You’re blabbering, burying your head in your hands to stop the flowing of the words. You can be quick tempered, it’s something you have always been aware of, but you had no way of controlling it. Growing up an outcast in a normie household never really allowed you to learn how to manage your feelings, everything was your fault all the time anyway. “I feel like you’re mad at me.” You speak into the sheets, your muffled voice barely reaching far enough for the older woman to hear. As you try to calm yourself, Larissa’s hand creeps onto your back, gently stroking your bare skin. Her hand is cold.
“I’m not mad at you, darling.” She mutters, running her hand up and down your back. “Deep breaths. We’ve talked about this. Deep deep breaths always do the work.” She knows you struggle with emotions, so comforting you is an instinct she couldn’t fight if she tried, even if it will make breaking up with you harder than she ever thought it would be. It took you a while to open up to her about your upbringing, afraid she would tell you to be thankful for everything your parents did for you, but she never took their side. She was the first person to tell you they should’ve done better. “Come here.” She says, opening her arms for you, with a soft half-smile. You pull yourself up to Larissa’s chest, resting your head on her. “Breathe with me. Just follow along.” She makes sure to steady her inhales and exhales, hoping you won’t notice how fast her heart is beating. You breathe in unity for a good while. Her mind is racing, she needs to find a way out. She needs to end this today. She can’t leave your quarters until you’re practically throwing her out, you need to want this too. If you’d only let her explain, you would want her out of your rooms and your life, too.
You’re too concerned with your own emotions to notice the strange stiffness of Larissa’s body as you hold her as close as humanly possible. However, the air around you feels heavy as you whisper into the quiet of the night. “If you’re not mad at me, why have you been so quiet?” The heaviness doesn’t go away when you speak, it instead puts even more pressure on you. Being around Larissa has never made you uncomfortable before. But today something feels off, it’s like your senses don’t work like they should, and if you know one thing, it is that you need to listen to gut feelings like this. Gut feelings saved you from a lot of things growing up, like hands meant to slap you across the face. “I feel like there’s something I don’t know. And I hate it.”
Your whole body starts anxiously twitching as you sit up straight, wanting to look Larissa in the eye, no matter what she will say. It stars with the shaking of your legs, but your fingers quickly follow. Your knuckles bend into a claw and then let go, only to repeat the movement until you’re in physical pain because of the tension in your hands.
Larissa brings her own hands to the nape of her neck, the pressure she applies to her skin leaving a red mark for hours as a reminder of everything that is to come. You look vulnerable, sitting in front of her completely uncovered, jaw clenched, eyes relentlessly jumping from one place to another every second.
“We need to end this.” She says as emotionlessly as she can, refusing to meet your eyes, unable to even look your way. She said it. It’s out there now, and she can’t take it back. She saved you from herself. You’re finally free, even though she felt herself losing everything that ever mattered as she spoke. What she wants is not important. What’s important is that you’ll finally be safe.
You can feel yourself getting nauseated. Your stress has always been accompanied by a strong physical reaction. Sometimes, you fainted. Other times, you got the worst migraines imaginable, but nausea was the worst out of all of them. “What- What are you talking about? End what? I don’t understand..” Your stomach turns as you try getting a few coherent words out. She can’t mean what you think she does. You’ve done nothing wrong, you are always perfect around her, whatever it takes. She can’t not want you. You’ve been not wanted before. But Larissa always told you that your parents never deserved you if they couldn’t love you as you were. Larissa wanted you. She told you herself.
She sighs deeply. “We need to break up. It’s for your own good, Y/n. I’m not good for you. You need to be with someone your age, not someone who is old enough to be your mother.” Lifting her head to glance your way as she hears your breathing become more erratic than it was just minutes ago, tears start pooling in the corners of her eyes. “I know you might not see it right now, but our relationship is not healthy. I was blind, I was so taken with what I thought was love that I never noticed I was crossing a boundary I should’ve seen from miles away. You’re too young to understand this, but you will thank me when you grow up.”
Your hands are in fists, pressing harshly into the bare skin on your thighs. You’re holding your bottom lip in between your teeth tightly enough to draw blood. You have never told her about your history with self-harm, but she figured it out very quickly after you’ve started seeing each other regularly. To her greatest sadness, she’s seen way too many of her students struggle with similar issues, not to notice the signs.
Your head is dizzy. You can’t think straight. This must be a nightmare. But the pain reminds you it’s not. Your body naturally wakes when you’re in pain in your dreams, but the pressure on your thighs and all across your lip does not subside. At all.
“But wh..?” You have so many questions. You need answers. But suddenly, you can feel the nausea again, and before you know it you’re desperately climbing to the edge of the bed and getting off it, just about reaching the bathroom before you throw up. You’re holding onto the seat of the toilet with one of your hands while you take a piece of paper with the other to wipe your mouth.
Larissa follows closely behind you, stopping in the doorway to your bathroom to take your robe off the hook on the door. You’re terrifyingly paler than ever before as she steps closer to you, covering your back with the robe.
“Don’t touch me.” You growl, flinging an arm in her direction to keep her away. She takes a step back, she needs to respect your wishes even if it means letting you shiver as you kneel – naked – on the cold tiles. “I want you to leave.” You state. You need her to leave you alone. The whys don’t matter anymore, you just need her out of your space.
“I won’t leave you like this. You know that Y/n.” She pushes back. She can’t have this on her conscience. “I’ll leave once I see you safely back in your bedroom. I promise.” You look absolutely miserable, and she’s the reason. You can barely support your own weight as you try to prop yourself up on your elbows on the toilet seat, and she’s can’t help.
“Stop pretending you care. And don’t you dare promise anything!” You want to cry, but she can’t see, she needs to leave. “It’s not like you keep your promises.” Legs wobbly, you slowly rise from the floor, and with the most careful but also the fastest steps you’ve ever taken, you walk back to your bedroom. “Here I am. Okay? You can leave now.” You say, grabbing your blanket to cover naked body and crossing your arms as you sit back down on the bed.
“I’m sorry darling, I wish you understood.” She wishes she never made promises she couldn’t keep. She wishes she wouldn’t have to hurt you. She wishes this could work. And she wishes – she so desperately wishes – she never would have taken advantage of you like she did. “I wish I had ended this earlier.” Her words mean nothing, and you let her know alright, rolling your eyes at her and giving her your best poker face.
“Make sure nobody sees you leave.” You scoff, making sure to hit where it hurts.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
She doesn't sleep that night.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
Your letter of resignation awaits her first thing in the morning when she arrives in her office, both in her inbox and on her desk – you made sure she sees. She’s not surprised, but it still hits her like a truck.
The rest of the day goes painfully slowly. Colleagues ask if she knows where you are. Her assistant enquiries if they should look for someone to fill your place in the library. She wishes she could just scream at them and tell everyone that she genuinely does not care, but that’s not something she can do so she answers all the questions – “No” – and goes about her day, checking her phone every 10 minutes even though she knows it’s no use.
She wants to call you, just once to know that you’re okay but she doesn’t.
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
In a few days, she accidentally passed your old quarters. The door is wide open, and the room looks like it’s never been lived it, like it forgot you ever existed. Her heart breaks a little.
In about a week, she needs to go to the library. She can’t avoid it any longer. She chats with the librarian, a vampire who’s been at Nevermore since before Larissa was a student there. The library feels empty, like it forgot you ever existed. Her heart breaks a little.
There’s not a single place on campus that doesn’t remind her of you. The first place she saw you. The place where she first invited you out for a coffee. The place where you shared your first kiss. The place where you shared your second kiss. And so on. Eventually, every place starts feeling like it forgot you ever existed. Her heart breaks a little.
Every day.
Because she still remembers.
taglist: @giogwensversion @brienneswife @renravens @fictionalized-lesbian ※。.:*:・'°☆
comments and reblogs are highly appreciated because ya girl (genderless) hasn't posted a fic in almost 3 months and they are Nervous about this one
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tutuandscoot · 5 months
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Ice Dance Falls, Fails and Flubs
Part 1
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1. “Stationary Lift BASE?! “😱🫠
Classic HD fuck up 1.0
By now y’all know my distain for HD, not that I have any love lost for Bock either.. or WeaPo.. or gilorier.. so basically this is me missing VM at 4CC and HOLLERING at the cocky ness HD display for a rushed, messy, careless program with a travelling stationary lift guys come on what are you doing sitting there pep-rallying for +5’s.. you look like idiots. Btw. who tf is this lady on the right ↗️??
Also feat. Evan ‘employee of the month at Taco Bell’ Bates
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2. Belbin/Agosto blow it in the Compulsory Dance
They came to these world champs in 2008 expected to win, with the Russians D/S out with injury. But down Tanith goes on a twizzle in the CD.. the point of CD’s is that you are in hold basically the whole time therefore it’s extremely unlikely to fall bc your partner holds you. This put them 6th after the CD, 5th in the OD, rising to 4th after the FD.. they would never win a worlds or Olympics despite being an incredible team* (for the time.. )
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3. FP/M- Torino addition
Maybe the funniest thing ever in Ice dance. This happened after at least 3 teams had already had serious falls (including Marie and Patch which I won’t be talking about bc of the seriousness of it- that was not funny) this on the other hand is HILARIOUS. Firstly: the costumes. WHAT? WHY? Maritzio looking like a pimp. Even before the fall this performance reminds me of your cringe aunt and uncle getting up to dance at a wedding. They had not competed since SLC 2002.. we won’t discuss that bc How and WHY- what sport was ID in 2002 where this team wins a medal over Bourne & Kraatz?????
Then.. the fall.. yes BESP uncles.. it was the too much outside edge that did it, that’s where the problems started, never mind mags’ shithouse skating skills.
My favourite part is when she just *reverse Homer Simpson’s out of a hedge* towards him and he does that *nod* as if to say “hey that was pretty damn good” seriously, what a flop, even in the K&c it continues to be hilarious him just man spreading looking at the scores while she looks like she’s gonna kill herself (and him), he’s looking as if ‘yeah that’s not bad’ well you wouldn’t know bro there’s been a new system introduced since you seemingly last stepped on an ice rink.
Just omg.. iconic. all I can think about is god forbid this ever happened to vm and the polar opposite their reaction would be (except S never dropped T and S actually had skating skills)
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4. The piece of shit that is Didier Gailhauget
(Thankyou to @iluvausten for finding this for me)
I don’t need to translate this right y’all get it..
This tweet and subsequent result is the reason the acronym LMFAO was invented. Guess the Russian mob didn’t feel like helping out on this one sorry boo 🥲
(And/Or the bby angels were just too damn good)
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5. Bourne/Kraatz 2002
This is kinda a sad one..
But what I love is the contrast between B/K reaction and FP/M..
No blame, no hate, no making a scene.
They were in 4th place going into the FD with a good chance of capturing bronze, but fell in the last 5 seconds.
It was so unfortunate but you know what: you skate to MJ you should expect karma..
They finished 4th- same as they had in 1998- a fixed event
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6. Classic HD fuck up 2.0, Worlds 2017
I don’t want to talk about this to point where I’m gonna get hate for it and I also don’t want to be that person who says ‘I don’t talk bout what I don’t know’ and then talk about what I don’t know but since this post has a bit of a ‘blunt and direct humour about it’, why do I get the feeling that the whole ‘we don’t have faith in ourselves’ thing was a bit of an act with these two and training with the goats gave them this false sense that they were better than they were and took that cocky confidence too far to the point where (he especially) couldn’t stay on his damn feet?? The whole ‘Gabrois podium sweep’ thing they were going for at these worlds and olys gives me side eye..
Ok. That’s part 1, part 2 coming soon
Reminder this is all in good humour, every team that competes at this level is highly skilled in some respect and then others are just a$$holes🥰
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deadpige0n · 2 years
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Pinkie Promise
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summary- hot cocoa and heavy hearts cry for one another's pain
warnings: deep convos, peter crying, rain, hot cocoa, bruises, crisis, gwen 💀, sad, unbetaed and read twice sorry 😔✋
word count: 0.6k ♡
Masterlist
an: idek what came over me my dudes. one moment i was listening to One For The Road by Arctic Monkeys and the next minute i had this in my notes 😵‍💫😵‍💫. welp i hope u besties enjoy <3 in my tasm!peter era 🤩 this is a repost from my main @writingquillsandpainpills bc i feel like that accounts shadowbanned lmfao
the rain hit the windows harshly, loud and angry and quick like an erratic heartbeat. I was lying down on peters floor, feeling the cold marble on my back through the fabric of my loose tee.
"do you ever feel like..." peter started as he sat down, two mugs of hot cocoa in his hands. I sit up and cross my legs as he hands me my mug, eyeing his bruised knuckles, where yellow and purple speckled his skin.
I hummed in response, intrigued by his question and wanting him to go on. his eyebrows raised lightly as I sipped the cocoa, as if asking is it good? I nodded in his direction lightly and waited for him to finish his sip so he'd speak.
"like the worlds moving so fast and i-its like you don't have any way of catching up?" he continued, eyes dazed and far away. I stared, worried.
"I didn't know you felt like that, pete. yea sometimes....sometimes it feels like i'm losing track of everything, but i don't worry much about it.'' I reply, fiddling with the hem of my jeans. his eyes focused on me again and he opened his mouth as if to say something. he hesitated for a beat and then took a sip.
"i jus-i feel like with the whole spiderman thing, i jus don't have enough time to live my own life. after everything with gwen-'' he gulped, choking back tears, "i'm just so scared that-that it'll happen again to you..or-or may and i just can't have that happen to either of you, y'know." he finished, fat tears falling down the his cheeks.
I stared at him, his brown eyes squinty and drowning in tears, his hair mussed and falling everywhere in spikes, his stubble starting to come through. he looked so tired.
I scooted closer, putting my mug down and gently prying his from his hands and putting his mug down next to mine. I tugged him towards me and he fell into me, his forehead on my shoulder and his tears dropping down on my ankles.
"how long have you felt like this?" I whispered, tears of my own flooding my eyes making me blink them back.
"jus a few months or so" he whispered back, sniffling slightly. he wrapped his arms around my back as he pulled me closer towards him, till I was nestled in his chest.
"I wanted to tell you, but I jus...couldn't. i'm sorry." he apologised, his chin resting on my head.
I pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes, looking at the thinly veiled regret and sadness he was fighting back.
"pete, you don't ever have to apologize, okay? jus tell me when you feel ready. don't force yourself to do anything before you're ready, okay?" I said softly. he nodded and brought up a hand, his fist closed tightly, his veins bulging and his pinkie pointing towards me.
"pinkie promise?" he said, a sad, sideways smile tugging his lips and making his left eye squint slightly.
i chuckled at the sweet, adolescent gesture, nostalgia flooding in my heart as I brought my pinkie up to interlock mine with his.
"pinkie promise." I returned, with a similar smile.
he kissed my forehead, a light peck so gentle i barely felt it. I leaned into him further, my ear on his heart, our pinkies still interlocked.
the rain continued to thrash against his windows outside, still loud, still angry, still quickly and still like an erratic heartbeat. but inside his apartment, in his arms i heard his heartbeat, slow and steady and calm. we sat like that till our hot cocoa got cold and our eyes became drowsy.
"what kind of name is peter?"
"oh, shut up"
tags!: @gay-prentiss @sadgirlml @will-on-the-internet @lil-stark @gold-onthe-inside @fightingdragonswithreid @ssabelova @broken-stardust ik ive alr tagged you but 🧍🏻‍♀️i had to repost ♡
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recent uni books that i've finished
— interview with the vampire ; ☆☆☆☆
almost gave this 5 stars, there were just a few uncomfortable/outdated sections. the writing is absolutely beautiful though, and if you're looking for a book with gay vampires, this is ur shit
— paradise lost ; ☆☆☆
this took me 3 whole months to finish. i enjoyed it as much as you can enjoy an epic biblical retelling 🥴 though, i do find milton's views on freedom and liberation quite interesting (400 years later and the English are still tryna get rid of the monarchy lmfao milton is ROLLING in his grave)
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esculentevil · 8 months
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Pan Flag Flower Crown! Because Evil’s Always Late to Celebrate x’D
☆゚.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚☆💎Pillowfort🌲☆゚.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚☆
Seriously, tho: Happy Late Pride and First Harvest/August Eve, All! =D
As some of you know: I crochet in between writing fanfics and my original story; and I’m in and on-and-off-again relationship with cosplaying xD;;; where, currently, I’m thinking about dressing as Thranduil. I wanna crochet his crown (and his “dress” which, despite the insane amount of yarn it’s going to require, will probably be easier to figure out than his twisting crown of twigs... OTL) but...
Well, I thought why not try something a bit easier that’s in the same vein?
On the same vine? Sorry, I live on terrible puns.
Anyway.
Thus: Flower Crown! Admittedly (I think, at least), a perfectly acceptable crown for a Woodland King--perhaps, even, especially for these warmer months.
Anyway: I wanted to test out different yarns (acrylic v wool; I’ll try cotton later) with the flowers to see which came out better, which was easier to use, etc.
I think they all worked well (all because I actually used two different wools: worsted [pink] and roving [blue], if any of you are curious); tho, the wool--especially the roving one--got particularly heavy after washing (cold water and soap, of course) and took a while to dry out which had me worried for a bit because the whole thing kept sagging as I tried to wear it in between finishing and when I thought I was done with it (because I didn’t realize it/the band would S T R E T C H so much x.x with the waterlogged flowers; I panicked a bit there)
I learned a lot tho and I think I’ll be able to do Thranduil’s crown--eventually.
For now, tho, I do think this is something he’d also wear. Especially in summer--or his time of spring! Which, of course/again, I’m totally late for lmfao
Anyway; I’m curious: What do you All think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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dlnj · 5 months
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So after waking up at the end of wetting my diaper (which would have been my bed , he he ) it was already time for me to just about be getting up to go to work 3:30 am wake up to start at 5:30 kind of a bummer but it’s all good, anyway after I was finished wetting my diaper I took it off cause it was soaked and it was get out of bed time, I was just chilling sitting in bed trying to shake the sleep off and a few minutes later I notice I’m leaking on myself and then a few minutes after that again and I could feel that this was going to be one of those days that I’m either going to wear a diaper and assume no one is going to notice (which folks never really notice anything like that , I wear diapers and am part of the ABDL community so I’ve always wondered who around me might be wearing a diaper for what ever reason and I’ve never noticed anyone ever wearing a diaper and I’m sure I’ve had to have been talking to or right near someone who needed to or just liked wearing diapers and I’ve never noticed so most likely no one will notice me wearing my “proper attire” anyway . I’ve been nervous about wearing diapers to work though , since I got my diagnosis and being diaper dependent medically I have made sure to stay diapers ALWAYS at night and then any time I’m not working I’m in diaper . Today I figured it was either wear a diaper and know no one is going to notice or a slight chance someone might or I can leak on my self all day and most likely have a huge accident where everyone around me will notice my pants get all wet in the front then down my leg and forming a puddle in the floor , (it’s happened before, actually a bunch of times ) for all to see , I feel like today was the right day to start wearing diapers 24/7 and accepting that I have pretty much every form of incontinence across the board getting worse as time goes by (yay!! Diapers for me always). I wasn’t quite brave enough to wear my regular everyday diaper but I am wearing a pull up which I hate but if you need diapers and want to be as discreet as possible and aren’t going to wet heavy then a pull-up will work for now, til I’m brave enough to just wear a diaper , not much of a difference if someone notices anyway, no one is going to say “oh that’s not a diaper , it’s a pull-up lol it’ll be the same thing to them lmfao) and I hope I don’t do anything more than just leak cause if I have s full on accident I’ll probably still end up wetting my pants , just probably wouldn’t be as horrible but still embarrassing, wet pants and wet pull-up yup sound like a fun day. Maybe if that happens it’ll be so embarrassing I’ll never want to take the chance of that ever again and then that’s it , 100% total urinary incontinence 100% completely diaper dependency . Either way I’m headed towards being completely diaper dependent, 2.5 more weeks til I see my doctor again and when I do I’m going to have her alter my diagnosis to include complete permanent day time incontinence along with the bedwetting and she already knew some days I need diapers during the day and some days I didn’t so it’s not going to be much of a jump for her to rewrite my diaper order to include a whole bunch more diapers in the mail covered by insurance which I’m still yet to receive but that’s because I have to fix the insurance . I’m hoping to go from potentially getting the hundred plus DIAPERS every month to maxing me out at I think 254 diapers delivered to my door every month in the same day. I think that should be enough diapers every month to wear diapers full time for the rest of my life. Anyway wish me luck everyone . Hopefully no one notices then maybe I’ll be brave enough to change into a diaper instead of the pull up at 9:00 break or maybe at the very least come in tomorrow in a diaper like I should be wearing right now. Really was one of the best thing I could have done for myself was get my incontinence “problem” (I don’t look at it as a problem , I look at it as about damn time I loose control lmfao) diagnosed and having her declare me diaper dependent. Anyway update to come……..
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ocelaw · 2 months
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good morning!!
d&d was fun last night :3 we didn't have a ton of time, but we dud some combat against a monster I homebrewed. I'm really fond of them actually, I think they're fun monsters. they're like a cross between greyhounds and racehorses, with wolf's teeth and manes, and sharp hooves that they trample people with ✨️✨️ their whole thing is that they never stop running, so glancing attacks are their signature. it was a pretty fun combat, even tho I forgot that invisibility didn't work in that area, so I could have been attacking the one who went invisible 😭😭 ah well
I think I have an afternoon to do chores today, which is GREAT. cuz I really need to. lmfao
I'm celebrating lunar new year with my partner and her family this Friday, super excited!! and then hanging out with her for the weekend :3333333333
I love how you mentioned that spring is for protests. I wish we did that lol. hey regional representative #648, hope you're doing what the people want you to or else you're gonna have a hard time leaving your house to get groceries through 50% of the population you're supposed to be helping 👍👍 this is why yall have paid menstrual leave 😭😭
(to be clear I'm very happy for yall and also incredibly jealous lmfao)
the work kitchen remodel is happening! I'm kinda sad that they blocked off the area, I wanted to watch LMFAO
mostly just trying to keep busy rn! I gotta work on figuring out my plans to move, but some of that is a collaborative effort so there's not much I can do on my own
hope you have a lovely evening, friend!!
Good evening ! Just finished taking my shower for this week ! (I don't think I'll have enough spoons for Thursday, so I took it earlier)
Yeah, I did say that. And wanna know smth fun ? Not long ago, we got the farmers and a good part of the education system going into protests and strikes, and the RATP (one of the companies in charge of the transit in the area of Paris) putting in place a prior notice from yesterday (5th February) to 9th September. The Olympic Meme Arc (we got meme arcs in France, and it's quite the thing !) is gonna be F A B U L O U S I'm so excited for the coming months just for that lamo x)
(The RATP is a big joke in Paris, always protesting, always on strike, always late, never there. We don't even understand why they put the prior notice this time, but strikes without them aren't very normal tbf, but since I'm not living in that shitty city, I don't give a fuck x) )
That DND monsters of yours seem so cool ! Would hate to play against them tho :')
I ate today, gotta love having my brother paying for my food, and I had a nap, so pretty nice. But I'm still digesting, been 5 hours lol. Not sure if I'm gonna eat anything else than a snack or two tomorrow tho
Have a wonderful morning my friend !
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Hello!
I've risen from the dead lmfao Life was extremely hectic lately but I'm back!
How have you been? I'll send later my replies to the last replies 💕
In the meantime I would love to hear all of your stories to be honest but to start maybe the story of how you almost lost your virginity twice?
Also option a and b made my blood boil to the max 🙃
-🐇
Baby!! You're back! I'm glad you're doing so well! I hope you're happy and healthy!
I'm doing okay, I finished my last class ever and I graduate from uni in March so I'm just focused on working, resting and getting my health back together.
I wish I could say option a & b happened only that time but they haven't, it's happened more times after haha.
Okay! Story time.
The first time happened when I was 17 and it was with one of my close guy friends at the time.
I was having a sleepover at his house and we were sleeping in the same bed (as we had numerous times before).
He was really upset the day because he had just found out that his girlfriend had been cheating on him and he broke up with her.
While we were in bed, he asked if he could hold me because he just wanted to feel better to which I said yeah, of course.
He started rubbing my back and hips and I turned around and said 'do you want too?' and I told him I was a virgin and he was like 'are you sure you want to do this?' and I trusted him at the time, we were really close and I felt really safe around him because we had been friends for years.
His mum was asleep in the other room so we had to be really quiet and I remember we quickly got our clothes off.
I remember him being really gentle and he was softly kissing my neck and chest and as things were about to move forward.
He couldn't get it up, he just couldn't get hard and I tried to help him and nothing worked because he just was too upset and sad over the break-up.
So I said well let's stop and we got our clothes back on and then we just fell asleep.
I woke up to find that half-way, he had woken up and gone to sleep out on the couch for the rest of the night.
And I remember waking up in the empty bed and thinking:
'This must be what one-night-stands feel like'.
And that was the moment I realised I could never do one-night-stands.
He stopped speaking to me after that and at the time, I thought it was because I wasn't physically attractive enough for him but now that I'm older, I could see he was probably embarrassed.
The Second Time:
The second time happened when I was 21 with a guy I met from uni, we were friends for a couple of months before he asked me out on a date and I said yes.
I remember he took me out to Mexican and we went out for a festival in the city, I'm 24 and I haven't been on an official date since with him.
Anyway, about a month in to us dating, I went over to his house.
I travelled 3 hours to meet him at his house and I remember I dressed up all pretty for him, I wore a navy blue babydoll dress with frangipani flowers on it.
When I went to his house, he had made me a batch of brownies which I thought (and still think) was really cute.
We had the whole entire house to ourselves and we started making out and he took me to his bedroom and we were both virgins at the time, I still am but idk if he is.
This was our 4th date together and at the time, I felt safe with him and I just really wanted to experience what sex was like and I did feel emotionally connected to him and I trusted him in the moment.
And things started to get heated and we were both undressed and as we were about to do the devil's tango.
He couldn't get it up, he was too nervous and again, I tried to help him but nothing was happening.
He kept trying to reassure me that it wasn't me, that he was too nervous, he didn't know why nothing was happening and again, I said it was all fine and we stopped.
I have to say though, he was really giving and gentle with his touches and words (both times were like that) and I think if everything went well, I wouldn't have regretted it both times.
He stopped talking to me after and 7 days later, he ended it.
He had some shitty excuse about how he thought we weren't emotionally compatible and that we could still be friends 🙄.
Now that I have a better perspective, he was also too embarrassed that he couldn't perform and he just found it too awkward to speak for me again.
I haven't spoken to him since and that was 3 years ago.
And that was the last romantic encounter I've had thus far, I haven't kissed anyone else since that moment.
I just hope my technique works and I won't be an awful kisser for the next person, it's been awhile 🤣🤣.
I have asked out guys since that encounter but all have rejected my offer, the last guy I asked out was in January and since then I've completely stopped.
I haven't even developed a crush or an infatuation with anyone since January.
Oh fuck, it was so awkward.
The last time I asked a dude out and got rejected:
He was also a friend I had known for about 3 years and we had a few classes together at uni.
We reunited at a bar with other people in December of last year and we had great banter and a connection and at the end of the night, he hugged me and said that he found me interesting.
So me thinking, okay there's something here, the week after I was like 'Hey, do you want to meet up for lunch, just one on one?' to which he said yes.
So, the day off. I also got dressed up for him, I wore a dress with stockings and boots and wore my expensive perfume.
We had lunch and again, the connection was great.
So, at the end of the lunch, I said 'Oh, do you mind if I grab your number and we could talk more?'
To which he said, 'Ahh. To be honest Ruby, I just don't find you attractive in 'that way'.
And I responded 'Oh, in what way?'
And then he said 'Oh, I think you're pretty, I just don't find you attractive like how partners would feel towards each other'.
To which then I figured out that he was saying he wasn't sexually attracted toward me without saying he was sexually attracted towards me.
And then a month later, I was invited to a party and he was there.
And he was just flirting all over this girl and hugging her and dancing with her.
Which I mean, yeah it kinda hurt but I was talking to other people and having fun.
And I didn't get drunk but this girl got absolutely smashed, like she was slurring her speech and ended up throwing up over the balcony.
And after this happened, I was smoking a cigarette and he walked over to me and I was like 'Oh, how come you're here?' to which he responded,
'Oh the other girl I was talking too got really drunk and I can't speak to her properly and you're not drunk so I thought maybe I just start talking to you.'
And that immediately turned me off him because I just felt like I was a back-up and second-best.
And then a month after that, they started dating.
Idk if they're still dating now, I haven't spoken to him since then. (Bro, I'm watching Bang Chan's live and I'm pretty sure he pretended to kiss our forehead.)
I feel that last encounter just really did it for me, there's only so many rejections that you take before you just give up.
And it's hard because I just don't know why opportunities for romantic relationships haven't entered my life.
Like, men just haven't wanted to be in a relationship with me and you can't even say 'oh, you just need to put yourself out there' because clearly I have.
And I mean, it's been 3 years since that last encounter and I haven't kissed anyone, I haven't received any offers that I've rejected and no one has shown any romantic interest in me.
And I just wish I knew what it is I'm lacking so I can improve myself and grow as a person in that area.
@muselin @cherry-0420 what do you think about this?
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isadora-greenhall · 10 months
Text
Dndads s2 e35 thoughts
SCREAMING GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM
Man and wife and manandmanandman 🤣😭
Nick took Cassandra's name lmfao (my hc is when they met she introduced herself and he was so blown away by how awesome and hot she is he forgot his own name and said "I'm Nicky...Swift" 😭)
I respect Matt keeping the sim life private but I HATE IT AHAHA
ANTHONY TAKE CAROL'S NAME OUR OF YOUR MOUTH AHAHA
AYYYYYYYY Will did the whole name hell yeaaaaahh
Lmao the scary intro was good ahaha
6th edition D&D galaxy brain shit lmfao
Nick's limbs are back good to know 😂 wait...all of them? 🤔
Linc you fucking idiot ahahahaaaaaa
Hero ahahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaaahababahahahahahahahaha
Haaaaaaaa
Hero and Terry bffs
(Also lmao I couldn't tell if it was Walter or Paeden at first, and then it was HERO ahaha)
Terranaut?
The Terry voice keeps getting me lmao
HONEY AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hero just not giving a shit about being the chosen one is so funny
Watched walk the line so the burning ring of fire reference 👌🏼
Hero being into Sailor Moon and working for like NASA or whatever this place is is great lol
Fuckin Matt Arnold 🤣
THE WHOLE TRYING TO GET TAYLOR TO GO ON A DATE WITH HERO BIT AHAHA
Ooh I'm gonna be thinking about that Terry line about marriage being about picking up the slack 👀
Scary finally talking to her mum again
"I'm sorry did I hear an S??" 😭
HERO INTO LINC AHAHA
Losing it completely over hero just completely being like fuck Taylor
"Honey" "sweetie" LINC STOP 😂
TACKLE LINC, SOMEONE!!!!!
All the emotions talk while they should be finding ways to survive space is so fucking funny
TERRY NOOOOO
SWEETUMS
"Hermie's been working" asdfghjkl
Hermie's crush on scary being back ahahahahaha
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This episode is so fucking funny 😂🤣
Oooh the polyamory slight during PRIDE MONTH Anthony Burch you're in so much trouble lmao
I really love that they got rid of all the scientists and there's just a bunch of teenagers dealing with this situation lmfao
Thank you Matt for then going and actually getting scientists to do it ahaha
Before he'd even finished describing that dr's office toy I knew what Anthony was talking about lmao
Hell yeah Hero be your own woman!
Matt refusing to say the whole surname ahah
THE LAST THING THAT CASSANDRA KNEW IS THAT HER SON WAS IN A FLAMING HOUSE SHE WAS GOING TO GO FIND HIM AND NOW SHES JUST TWEETING REDBULL FOR HIM ASDFGHJKL
AND as far as we know she's still with Willy asdfghjkl
I keep forgetting the ringtone is fucking Tony pepperoni ahahah
The spooky music whenever someone returns to space is great lol
Oh FUCK Terry wants her dad home 😭
Fucking hell what did they put poor hero through Jesus Christ
Fuck I'm tearing up over Hero 😭 eldest daughter feels 👌🏼
This is the wildest fucking episode. Like. I know what going on but. What the fuck is going on 😂
...okay but IS Scary's dad gonna show up courtesy of redbull? 👀
FUCK Terry Jr's about to die
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
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nirikeehan · 1 year
Note
happy friday / dadwc!! for your Thalia Trevelyan & Vivienne, may I prompt: "Pouring unfamiliar potions into bottles of fogged glass"?
Yes, you may!! What a thought-provoking prompt. I went pretty deep researching alchemy for this one, and I rather like how that part came out.
This probably will feature in the next chapter of nightmare au/Through a Glass, Darkly. I keep saying that but this time it's true I think, lmfao. For some context, "the rot" is the colloquial term for accelerated red lyrium corruption, and Cullen has been missing for a few days, making Thalia increasingly worried about him.
For @dadrunkwriting
WC: 624
---
Thalia’s boots echoed on the stone floors of the Chantry chambers, falling in time to the clicking of Vivienne’s heels. Down a dark hallway, Vivienne paused outside a heavy wooden door, fishing out a key from a chain that plunged deep into her neckline.��
Once the lock clicked, Vivienne pushed open the door and beckoned Thalia to the room beyond. Whatever its previous function, it had been converted to an alchemist’s station, laden with tools of the trade. A liquid so purple it was nearly black bubbled in a giant alembic. The iridescent cerulean of distilled lyrium glowed in another bulbous flask, accompanied by beakers, bottles, and crucibles of unidentified substances. Hanging from the walls were several varieties of dried herbs. Thalia recognized elfroot, vandal aria, and rashvine at a glance. A mortar and pestle sat on one table, its contents half-ground, as if someone had put it down only moments ago. 
“Vivienne,” Thalia breathed in awe, “what is all this?” 
Vivienne clucked her tongue, gliding over to the alembic dripping the violet-black liquid into a container of spherical glass fitted with a spigot. “I take it you never reached Advanced Alchemy in your Circle studies, my dear?” 
Thalia bristled at the insult’s subtlety. “I opted for the Herbalism track in the Natural Sciences discipline.”
“Ah. A practical move,” Vivienne cast a surreptitious glance over her shoulder, “for someone of your skill level.”
“Was there anything you’d like to accomplish here, Vivienne, aside from asserting your superior intellect?” Thalia asked tartly.
She paused, waiting for a scornful remark about falling short of her full potential due to the abolition of the Circles. Thankfully, Vivienne seemed to know how to pick her battles. Without another word, she placed a small bottle of fogged glass under the spigot. Using a set of metal tongs, she opened it. The steaming liquid oozed into the bottle. 
Thalia stood by, anxious. “What exactly are you—?”
“Shh, my dear. You wouldn’t want me to spill any.” 
When she finished, Vivienne turned off the spigot and turned to her, holding out the bottle. “Drink.” 
Thalia hesitated. “What is it?”
“You said you wished to leave the village to search for the Commander. This is a preventative measure. To protect you from the rot.” 
Thalia took the bottle lightly. It was warm to the touch, though not scalding as she’d been expecting. “I thought you said something about — mages having a natural immunity?” 
“A natural resistance, we think,” Vivienne corrected gently. “That is by no means a guarantee.”
 She watched Thalia expectantly. 
“Who is ‘we’?” Thalia asked.
“Myself, a few local Chantry scholars, and my trusted guard. The formula has been tested over many months on myself first and them second. Then, we introduced it to the general townsfolk. It seems to have a deterrent effect, yes.” 
“Local Chantry scholars?” This was the first Thalia had heard of them. “Where are they now?”
“They did not survive the last bandit raid, I’m sad to report.”
“If you’ve had this potion this whole time, why didn’t you give some to Cullen when you saw him at the gate?” Thalia asked archly. 
“‘Preventative’ does not mean ‘curative,’ darling. Surely you learned that in your Herbalism lessons?”
Thalia sighed. She stared at the bottle, smoking ominously. 
Vivienne pressed her lips together. “Of course, given your time in close proximity to the Commander, one cannot be sure whether this remedy is entirely—”
Thalia put her mouth to the bottle’s rim and downed the concoction in one go. It burned thick and slow along throat; she fell into a coughing fit. When she straightened and wiped the moisture from her eyes, Vivienne stood with a look akin to admiration. “Well, you never did lack for courage, Inquisitor.”
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nateslehky · 1 year
Note
1-8 for the deep fic writers ask >:)
yue 😭😭😭 <3
1. what's the fic you're most proud of?
my maroon fic, probably. i worked really hard on that one and it was a little out of my comfort zone. i read it (or at least what i had written for it) before bed basically every night for a month before i published it (but haven't read it since 😅).
2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?
tbh i haven't really explored any darker themes. the 'angstiest' thing i've written is the maroon fic and even that i don't think is really that angsty. i really admire writers that can effectively craft works with darker themes in a compelling and nuanced way because it's definitely something i'm not naturally inclined to write. maybe one day.
3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?
....all of them? lol. maroon fic for sure. my longer natelehky wip too because it was my first real foray into hrpf. it still holds a really special place in my heart, which is part of why i haven't finished it. i'm scared i won't be able to do it justice, i think.
4. what fic of your own do you read for comfort?
for a while it was my cribbage fic! i really liked writing cale's pov for that and i think the story came across the way i wanted, if that makes sense? rn though any of my little established relationship one shots! they're relatively quick and easy for me to write and meant to be quick and easy to read :)
5. what fic of your own won't you read?
my maroon fic 😭😭😭. i think i put so much work into it and had so many expectations for myself for it that i'm afraid if i'll read it again that i won't think it's good or something?? idk it's silly and stupid and i've gotta get over it but yeah.
6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?
long answer here. short answer: endings.
7. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?
long answer here. short answer: it can put me in a funk sometimes but for the most part i'm grateful for every interaction ever <3
8. does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?
depends on how i define 'personal' i guess. i have a lot of online-friends-turned-real friends from twitter, most of whom know i write fic. then my best friend irl also knows. my family does not and i will not be telling them (i probably would if i wasn't writing rpf but having the whole rpf discussion with my fam sounds horrendous lmfao).
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hellavile · 1 year
Note
ugh i just got finished reading your fic sketch and boy (or girl in this matter) was it good. there are no words to describe how good it was oh my lordt. your fic is the first one i’ve ever read on this app & you have exceeded my expectations (this is coming from someone who has read wattpad fics while growing up, embarrassing ik lol) i have never read anything like it. to start it off, ive never read a fic where one of the main characters has ocd or anything related in that nature so it instantly had me curious as to where this fic was going. i like that we go to know both eren’s & the fl thoughts a little bit throughout the fic, it added a little pizazz (at least to me). like everything in this story flowed perfectly. them meeting at the museum/gallery & becoming interested in each other, them exchanging information so they could kick it later on, the fl not being happy in her relationship, eren & the female lead thinking of each other, & the fl actually coming over. the way you described eren’s place i could imagine it & mind you it’s literally so hard for me to imagine settings in stories when author’s describe the scene but you did it so perfectly i could literally imagine myself floating in 3rd person & seeing every lol. whew & don’t get me started on the build up to the smut- lawd. the cake part where eren was getting some & literally puts it in her mouth! i didn’t know if i wanted to be the fl or eren like- gawd i never wanted to be a character so bad in my life. & then when it finally started to go down i was blushing so hard because it was so hot. ugh i wish i wasn’t such a pussy so i could show you the ss of the parts that i was literally getting 💢⭕️💢⭕️ but i’ll just say it lol. ik exactly what position you were talking about when you said he but his arm around her collarbone & his whole weight was on her 👀 (even tho i’m literally a virgin but we’re just gonna skip over that lmfao). & when he pressed on that spot & was talking to her while doing it, the butterflies i got mann. WHEN HE TOLD HER TO SINK ON IT LAWD. IT WAS SO FUCKING HOT like the switch from eren being the dom to sub my heart almost couldn’t take it. i’m literally a sucker for sub men & the dialogue during that part WHEW. & even the little time skips around afterwards when they were chilling trying to make pancakes/waffles then it lead to the female lead getting ate out, the bathtub scene, & finally them in the bed together as the fl fell asleep while eren was reading warmed my heart fr fr. BUT THE ENDING?!?! the way i didn’t see that coming from a mile away like whaaaaat?! the worst (not like worst worst but in like worst that got me sad fr but best) one night stand i’ve ever read. the very end i was confused on. what did you mean that he was finally free & that the fl wouldn’t find him if she looked? free as in left the earth? 😭 or free as in he dipped & is just never coming back?
moral of this all is, the way of words you have & your attention to describing detail is so fucking good omg! i hope you take writing seriously because the gift that you have ma’am?! 👩🏽‍⚖️💥💥you have a real gift/talent & i can’t wait to read the rest of your fics because this one was straight up heat istg. ugh i wish i didn’t say this anonymously but i’m literally nervous interacting with people so i do it anonymously but still! supporting you from behind the mask ✊🏽 have a lovely day <3
JAJSJSJDD AHHHHH OMGGGG THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING REVIEW FOR SKETCH EVERRRRRRR. thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly. that’s one of my favorite fics i’ve written and, known fact, took me like two months to finish lol. i wanted it to be PERFECT. i’m really really really glad you took your time to read it, analyze, and enjoy it as well as sending me this review. this means EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG to me. i put my foot in that fic so im very grateful. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH. and i completely understand about being on anon and not feeling to comfortable sharing screenshots. your comments were enough fr. thank you. <3
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comfiedev · 1 year
Text
my 5 year indie developer journey
Hey, I'm Samuli, also known as Comfie and I make indie games here in the mythical land of Finland. Uhhhh, indie games are cool, yeah, hot take.
I've made a lot of games over the years and, well, as you can imagine most of them are bad, lol, which is why most of them are not available for y'all to play. Still, on my Itch.IO page you can play all of the games that are there! Some are decent, at best, but some are actually quite fun.
I started my dev journey in 2017-2018 I believe, and it took me a while to get adjusted to the tools. I didn't have a lot of prior knowledge with computers so using these grand development tools seemed impossible, but I still managed to push through that and started to development my skills.
For the first few years I had no design knowledge or anything, all I knew was how to use the engine and how to scribble on my sprite editor, which meant that I developed my interest and passion for design later in my journey.
I tried really hard to find myself as a developer, especially at first, but at some point I just stopped caring, which actually helped me understand what I enjoy about creating games, which is kinda ironical and fun. Dunno, maybe the less you care the more you develop or something, please take that with a grain of salt lmfao.
In 2020 I started to hang out in online forums and chatrooms which changed my whole view on making games, prior to that I had no connections with anyone and did everything alone. I met a lot of cool people that helped me figure out development and shit, it was very cool, I really appreciate that, thank you, you know who you are. At the same time I was introduced to twitter which showed me a whole new side of indie development, for the first time I really felt like I wasn't alone doing this.
Slowly I started to build a small following or something, a friendgroup of other devs that supported me and my work, which I love and appreciate from the bottom of my heart. From those chatrooms I met Temul, who was the first dev that I collaborated with. Our friendship was kinda odd because I had this whack-ass persona that I portrayed on those chatrooms which made for some hilarious interactions. We worked on a few projects, I still look at these times very fondly. We worked on a mini-game collection called the juicebox. Sadly most of our projects never got finished but I at least had a fun time, hope Temul feels the same way haha.
At around october of 2021 I participated in Ludum Dare 49, and made a game called Unsteady Bounce. The game feels like a monumental milestone on my journey, because it was the first game I made that used something else than janky pixelart as visuals. The game had this charcoal hand-drawn aesthetic and managed to score the 30th place in the graphics category!
After that I continued with the same aesthetic and took part in the Ludwig gamejam where I made Back to the Nest. Back to the Nest was a life changing experience because I met so many cool people through it and gained a lot of friends and peers. I honestly miss that time a lot, everyone was hanging out in this groupchat and supporting eachothers projects, it was great. I was also chosen as one of the winners of the jam, which led my game to be shown at Ludwig's stream, which was a big visibility boost. Back to the Nest remains as my most played game on Itch.IO with about 10,000 plays, which is mindblowing to me.
After these two projects I started working on my largest project to-date. Moonstuck, is a colorful precision flying game, with a lot of charm and really fucking steep difficulty curve, lol. I spent 6 months on this project and well, I'm slowly becoming more accepting of the project. When I finished it and was working on it I hated it. The game had a lot of flaws in design and in development. For example I handplaced 4000- outline objects which took me 2- months of work, it was not very pleasant nor fun. Still, I appreciate the project. I got to work with a cool composer, Jaden, thanks Jaden I really appreciate you! My good friend Z from one of the early chatrooms I was in also put the game on Steam for me, for free, I know, crazy. I owe Z a lot. With all of this Moonstuck has around 30 000-40 000 plays on Steam, which still blows my mind. Moonstuck was released in the summer of 2022.
After Moonstuck I worked on multiple smaller projects. I made 3 games with my close friend Sai. Those projects had their ups and downs but working with Sai has been a blast. I also worked with a few other friends HIS, Milkman and Frog, and we made this pretty cool Tron inspired game, tho I didn't amount a lot to this game. Still was fun! Maybe I'll be able to work with them again in the future.
At some point I was introduced to Paradise and met some pretty cool peers through it. I've gotten a lot of opportunities through it and I am forever grateful for the people that wanted to invite me there. I met a very quirky and cool friendo Plant through Paradise. Me and Plant have been working on a cyclical dynamic multi-layered shmup a of late. It should be out in december of 2022 or early next year. Also been finally working on a game with my friend Jasper, who does some crazy art n stuff, we've been talking for like a year about making a game together and it feels like it's finally actually happening! I also went to my first indie dev meetup event thing in November of this year, where I met cool peeps and I'm really grateful for that. I met Perttu, Pavla and Kai there, which was really cool, we are making a nuclear winter inspired topdown exploration game together, it's going to be a blast.
As you can probably read I've been collaborating with a lot of people lately, it has been so much fun but also draining for my social battery and things, so I've decided to tackle a few games alone after this. I enjoy working with people but also solo dev has its own quirks too.
That's pretty much everything for now. Today is 21/11/2022 and uh, I just condenced my whole dev journey into this small text, kinda crazy. Ok, that's all, thanks for reading, uhh bye.
Samuli
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emeralddoeadeer · 2 years
Note
Hi!
So I’ve been reading evermore for the last few months (it’s been my commute read since the end of Feb but I binge read it yesterday and today and finished it haha)
I actually don’t have the words to describe how much I’m in love with it. You had me hooked and I (with a lot of difficulty) managed to restrain myself to just reading it on the tube and it meant that u was actually looking forward to going to and from uni each day 🤣🤣
They’re 3/4 of my fav Harry Potter ships and it’s just pure perfection. Blackinnon is SO underrated.
I love everything about how you characterised them.
I related to lily so much when she was breaking up with that wanker (I had just broken up with someone that morning lmfao) and I’m not ashamed to say It’s lucky I was wearing a mask on the tube so the whole world didn’t see my emotions lol, and the little mermaid thing was amazing. How you included Strava is so cool and I just love the settings, the little snapshots into life in London. Lily as a character is literally amazing she’s so fucking strong I’m in awe. Marlene is the BEST friend anyone could ever have, Sirius and Remus are the best brothers and jily are soulmates. Obviously.
Literally everything about this is PERFECT and I could go on about it forever.
Thank you for giving us this story, and I can’t wait for the final chapter.
Much love!!! Xx
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Thank you @funbunnypotter26 💖
So pleased you've enjoyed Everlong, good work on restraining your reading, glad to have made your commute more bearable!
I've really enjoyed the fic, it took on a life of its own for sure, but I'll miss these guys, hard to believe we're nearly at the end!
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