#1: we are at the bottom of a hill 2: the complex is coming off of a super busy main road

[mothmans-legs]

Ohmy fuck I feel so bad I walked past this construction guy on the way home and he actually seemed rlly nice and he said hi very cheerfully but since all the construction nearby my house started (the whole area is basically a swamp, there were like little ponds and streams with frogs in 'm and everything) that whole areas been bulldozed I didn't process the vibes fast enough and I had the Wrong expression on my face (annoyed) and I feel rlly bad, like he doesn't have a choice in this matter really like we're all stuck in an eternal loop of capitalist hell and the jobs pay well enough here that people do them a lot and ugh I really hope that didn't make him feel bad if I see him again I think I'll apologize augh

[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 9)

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4) (chapter 5) (chapter 6) (chapter 7) (chapter 8)

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: smut (semi-public fingering, specifically), angst... I think that's it

After your impromptu motorcycle drive you stayed out all night; exploring the empty city, ducking into dive bars if they were still open, dancing in the streets to music only the two of you could hear.

The city was so eerily empty at night, nothing like a metropolitan complex like London. But it was less creepy and more peaceful, especially when you were walking with Sebastian hand-in-hand along the cobblestone path. He started to swing your hand as you walked and it made you laugh.

“Teach me more Romanian words, please,” you requested, looking at him and struggling to fight your smile. “Română?”

“Eu voi,” he nodded, looking around and pointing to the ground. “Stradă.”

“Stradă... we call it the street,” you answered. “Or road. Road?” you prompted.

“Road,” he repeated.

“Good! Your pronunciation isn’t too bad either,” you grinned.

“Copac,” he announced as he pointed to a tree.

“Copac,” you repeated. “In English, it’s tree.”

“Tree,” he smiled. “Engleza este o prostie.”

He suddenly pulled you into him and spun you around in a twirl, making you laugh. “Dans,” he said as he stepped his feet in time with yours. “A dansa.”

“Yeah, dancing,” you smiled. “I haven’t danced in years, you know, except for tonight.”

He surprised you with a sudden kiss that was unexpectedly chaste, just a press of his lips on yours that either lasted longer than it normally would or just slowed time for a moment. “Sărut,” he whispered when he pulled back.

”Sărut,” you repeated.

“Aș putea să te sărut ore în șir. Ai cele mai perfecte buze,” he breathed, running his thumb over your bottom lip which had gone slack just from listening to him talk.

Your fingers trailed down over the portion of his chest exposed by his unbuttoned collar. “I didn’t know I could feel this way about somebody,” you admitted aloud to yourself. “I wish I could stay…”

His hands lifted your face to look up at him. “Nu face asta. Nu te mai ascunde în gândurile tale. Fi cu mine.”

“Sărut?” you requested, making him grin.

“Da, iubirea mea,” he cooed as he leaned in and kissed you again, smiling into it.

You really hadn't even liked kissing all that much before you met him… you just hadn't seen the appeal beyond warming up to more exciting activities, but now? This was all the excitement you needed; you could kiss him for hours and never get bored.

That said, apparently Sebastian had exciting plans of his own, because you found yourself being backed up against a brick wall, his hands exploring your body— subtle at first, just rubbing your arms and gripping your waist, but then it got less ambiguous as you felt his fingers toying with the hem of your shirt, just barely grazing over your stomach.

His touch trailed higher, nearly reaching your breast but stopping just before: you didn't mean to whine impatiently, but you heard it muffled against his lips and felt him chuckle lightly, breaking the kiss and leaning in to whisper in your ear.

"Atât de nevoiași," he hummed, nibbling on your earlobe as your thighs clenched together much too strongly when he'd barely touched you.

You clutched at his shirt, watching as his hand moved down to the top of your pants, the tips of his fingers just barely breaching past the fabric and starting to slide down.

"Here?" you gasped, finally remembering you were in public though you hadn't seen another person out here since you left the bar.

His hand moved lower down and your stomach fluttered with the forbidden nature of it all, feeling like a rebellious high schooler fooling around behind the movie theater when you both had curfew in ten minutes. But then he found your clit right away and it was nothing like high school.

"Oh fuck," you whimpered, shuddering and pushing your hips up to silently beg for more. He rubbed circles over your bud and smiled against your neck, already making it a struggle for you to stay quiet.

“Un alt cuvânt pe care ar trebui să-l știi,” he whispered, the pitch of his voice making it clear he was saying something beautifully filthy, “este dracu. Vreau să te dracu.”

“Seba, please,” you sighed.

"Dar nu cred că o pot face aici," he added with a soft laugh.

Two fingers suddenly pushed into you and didn't seem to struggle with it at all since he already had you soaked, curling into a tender spot inside you right away.

“Yes,” you whined.

“Yes?” he repeated with a smirk.

“Yes,” you said it again, “fuck yes.”

“Fuck,” he laughed, the word that was so familiar to you almost sounding foreign when he said it. “Spui asta mult. Cred că asta înseamnă că vei veni.”

“Your fingers feel so good,” you moaned, barely enough air in your lungs to get the words out. "Please… please don't stop…"

He kissed you again, open-mouthed and desperate as you both breathed heavily, his tongue sliding against yours as if to taste your moans. Hoping to stay upright now that your knees felt a little wobbly, you slipped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. That, in turn, led to you feeling the hard outline of his cock pressing against your thigh and you nearly melted right there, wishing you could feel him inside you now but figuring it probably wasn't worth the risk of being arrested for indecent exposure.

By now he knew you like the back of his hand, it seemed, because you were already throttling full speed ahead toward the edge, shocks of heat jumping up your spine each time he curled his fingers inside you.

"I— I'm gonna—" you stammered through your warning. He nodded, moving his fingers faster as you bit your lip a little too hard.

Just when you thought you couldn't help but cry out he kissed you one more time, rough and hungry, and muffled the sounds of you reaching your peak literally by his hand.

Everything that had twisted and snapped all at once began to soothe as you sighed and pushed his hand away slowly, feeling your walls spasm one more time when he slipped his fingers out and slid them right over your clit.

He pulled his hand out of your pants and brought his fingers to your lips; you dutifully cleaned them off for him, watching his lips twitch into a brief snarl when you took his fingers down your throat.

"Vom termina asta mai târziu," he promised darkly as he pulled you off of the wall and spun you around, and you wanted to return the favor but he stopped your hand from sliding up his thigh. "Mai târziu," he insisted, instead guiding you around the block and back to where his bike was parked.

Hopping on the back again as he started it up, you relished the change to cling onto his back tightly. He drove you through the empty streets, over sprawling hills and through stone archways, but just as you noticed this wasn’t the way to get back to the farmhouse, he slowed down and turned into a place to park.

“Why are you pulling over?” you asked, furrowing your brow as he parked the bike and motioned for you to get off with him. “Where are we going?”

“Ai incredere in mine,” he smiled as he took your helmet off for you and kissed you again, quickly, taking your hand and guiding you down a secluded path. You followed him down a few strange alleys, under clotheslines and sconces that started to dim with the oncoming morning light. Finally, he navigated you around a turn, through a tight gap, and out of nowhere you were on an overlook; one that gave you the perfect view of the sun beginning to rise over the city. “Wow,” you whispered, watching enraptured as soft yellow light overtook everything, the village and the woods in the distance beginning to come to life.

“Vremuri de genul ăsta mă fac să-mi fie dor de casă,” he sighed, before looking at you again from where he leaned on his elbows over the stone railing. “Îți faci mai ușor. Nu mai sunt singur.”

“This place is so beautiful, I’ve never lived anywhere like this before,” you admitted. “Maybe it’s just that it’s different that makes me like it so much… I guess I could say the same about you.”

Your eyes met his again, and the way he looked at you… it was like he saw right through you. Honestly, it was a bit terrifying. You'd never been so vulnerable to someone. You liked it more than you expected.

But it still scared you.

"Haide, hai să mergem acasă," he smiled as he stood upright again and took your hand.

"Let's get back to the house," you decided, but he was already leading you back to the bike where you rode through the countryside one more time, doing your best to memorize it all while you still had the chance.

You found tears in your eyes, though you didn’t remember crying, as you typed the final page of your manuscript.

It was a first draft, nothing close to a completed novel, but you were on your way to jumpstarting your career again. The only problem? You couldn’t have a career here. You couldn’t be published while living here, you couldn’t even edit this thing properly without a computer and you didn’t even have one here.

You needed to go home.

It killed you to realize that this was not a sustainable system: you living here— Hungary or Mrs. Alberti’s lakehouse— and falling in love with a near-stranger.

Sure, it was good for what it needed to be; he reminded you what it was like to be cherished and cared for, maybe you helped him break some dry spell (although you couldn’t imagine that this guy was anything but drowning in pussy all the time, but whatever). Regardless, it couldn’t last. It wasn’t meant to be anything other than… whatever it was meant to be.

You flipped through the pages of what you’d written already, admiring the journey that you saw on the paper— not just that of the characters, but your own as well. You could feel the weakness in your own voice in that first chapter, as if your hurt was right there painted on the page with the ink-pressed letters. You could remember shakily typing these words, hoping they would distract you from the fears and memories that plagued your mind.

A few chapters in, you could see the hope and optimism that built with the action of the story. You could feel your own love mirrored in the way you wrote your story, it was painfully powerful.

It brought a sense of closure, in a way; it gave you a chance to appreciate everything you’d learned from this, even if you knew you couldn’t take it with you into the next chapter. But this love didn’t feel like a subplot, it didn’t feel like a stepping stone onto the next adventure— it felt like what you’d been looking for your whole life. Maybe that’s just how it feels to be in the ‘honeymoon phase’ or whatever it’s called; maybe it’ll fade soon, with time and distance.

That was what you silently prayed for as you packed everything, folded your clothes, checked the nightstand drawers for those random trinkets they seemed to accrue. Funny how packing to leave this place took you longer than it did to throw your stuff together when you left Michael, and you’d been living there for years.

Then again, you'd known Michael so much longer than you'd known Sebastian, and yet it was Seba that meant so much to you now.

You weren’t sure what would be more difficult: leaving him, or knowing that you could never hope to explain everything in a way he would understand. You considered writing a letter and hoping that he would come upon a Romanian to English dictionary— but with everything you wanted to say, that would take him hours. After all that, would he find your words worth it? Or would he see it all as one last chore from a peculiar fling?

You were pretty sure he didn’t see it as a fling. But maybe he would understand that it was best left as a very unique rebound.

You left your room just to go get some coffee (or maybe something a little stronger, if it was available) and jumped when you saw Sebastian in the hall, causing you to quickly close the door behind you. “I didn’t expect to see you upstairs,” you greeted.

“Obținerea cearșafurilor curate,” he explained as he opened the door to the linen closet and pulled out some bedsheets.

“Oh, yeah, those could probably use a change,” you mumbled as you realized he may not have washed them since the last time you stayed in his bed.

“Vrei și tu câteva?” he asked, pointing towards your door and holding up the sheets.

“Oh, uh, I don’t need any more sheets,” you shook your head, “but thank you…”

His face curled into a mischievous grin. “Poate că trebuie să murdărim acele foi,” he purred as he set the linens down and stepped closer to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“Seba,” you mumbled, but he must not have heard the hesitance in your voice as he leaned in and kissed your neck, making you sigh a little. He hummed contentedly and lightly bit your ear, and you were almost ready to just let him do it and procrastinate this conversation a little longer, but you had to sigh and push him back.

“Esti bine?” he asked, voice heavy with concern, as he straightened up and examined your face.

“Sebastian…” you started with a sigh, the words you’d been anxiously mulling over all night suddenly abandoning you. “What happened between us meant so much to me,” you continued slowly, “but the fact of the matter is, my first marriage isn’t even over yet. I mean, it’s over, but… I’m not really in a place where I can… start a new relationship…”

He looked back at you, that same blankness of incomprehension you were so used to painting his expression, and yet it was somber; he seemed to sense the tone, even if he was losing out on the specific ideas.

“It’s not fair to either of us, really,” you sighed. “I’m still mourning my marriage— and you were a really important part of that for me. So, thank you.”

You realized you needed to express your gratitude more thoroughly. Thinking quickly, you reached for his hand and opened it, placing his palm to your chest. He looked at you, a little confused.

“Thank you,” you repeated, looking him right in the eye.

He nodded slightly.

“Someday, somebody is gonna love you the way you need— the way you deserve,” you told him, stopping briefly to bite your lip in hopes it would stop quivering. “God, I wish it could be me. But it can’t.”

He held your face and kissed you, and much to your dismay it didn’t feel like a goodbye kiss. It didn’t feel like he knew this was the end. “Nu plânge,” he whispered. “Te iubesc.”

He kissed you again and you let yourself get lost in it like a complete fucking idiot, melting into his arms as he opened your bedroom door and pulled you inside with him. For a moment, it was like any other time, like any other perfect kiss with him, but then he pulled back and looked around and you had to watch his eyes as he realized. You had to watch his face as his smile fell away and his hope turned to despondence.

The whole room was packed. Heavy trunks on the bed, the sheets already stripped so Mrs. Alberti could wash them. Everything that made it feel like your room was gone, and it was just a guest room again, feeling bigger and emptier than ever.

All that was left was the typewriter on the table, because you still couldn't lift it.

“O să pleci,” he gasped, stepping back and releasing you from his embrace. “Chiar mă părăsești.”

You knew that look he was wearing on his face; beyond heartbreak— betrayal. You were all too familiar with it. “I’m so sorry,” you whimpered, “I would stay if I could, but I can’t, can I?”

A car horn honked outside, making you wince.

“That’s my ride,” you mumbled. “I have to go…”

You started to reach for your trunks and for a moment you thought that was really it. “Nu te duce,” he interjected suddenly, grabbing at your wrist and turning you to face him.

“I’m sorry— I have to leave—” you rushed, trying to grab your bags again.

“Nu te duce,” he repeated again desperately, pulling you close, cradling your face in his hands.

“Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” you pleaded as your eyes began to water.

“Stay,” he begged, and you didn’t know that he knew that word. A tear fell; you wished he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, “I can’t.”

You stood up on your tiptoes to try to kiss him one last time, but he grimaced and pushed you away.

“Să trăieşti,” he said quickly, bitterly, as he stormed out of the room.

“Sebastian, wait—!”

But he was already running down the stairs; you heard the sound of the back door slamming a moment after he was out of sight, and another honk of the horn outside reminded you that you didn’t have time to chase after him. This wasn’t how you wanted it to end— really, you didn’t want it to end at all, and maybe if it had to (which it did) then this was as good a way as any. But you hated to leave like this when the last thing you wanted was to hurt him.

Defiantly wiping the tears from your face, you lifted the first of your trunks and made your way down the stairs, bringing them to the front door where the driver of the cab was waiting to carry them the rest of the way for you.

“Could you go upstairs and get my typewriter for me?” you asked him. “I can’t carry it well myself.”

He nodded and did as he was told, another small but painful reminder of your first day here. Mrs. Alberti came around the bend wearing a knitted shawl and a bittersweet smile.

“I hope you didn’t plan to go without saying goodbye,” she teased you.

“Of course not,” you smiled, “goodbye Mrs. Alberti.”

“I didn’t mean to me, dear,” she explained, making your heart twist.

“I don’t think he wants to hear it from me,” you admitted awkwardly. “I don’t think he can, literally.”

She just sighed and looked away, just as the driver loaded the last of your things into the trunk.

“So, this is it then,” you shrugged as you turned to face her.

“I doubt that,” she smiled. “It’s not a goodbye, sweetheart, just a ‘see you later.’”

“Sure,” you agreed, knowing she was wrong. You couldn’t come back here; you couldn’t leave him twice.

The driver shut the trunk and got back into the driver’s seat, leaving you to stare up at the house and take one last moment to soak it all in.

“You be sure to call me when your book is a big hit!” Mrs. Alberti instructed with a grin.

You were too choked up to say anything back, so you just waved and nodded as you got in the car and took a deep breath. “To the train station, please,” you mumbled to the driver, covering your eyes with your hand as you felt the car reverse and turn onto the road. You couldn't open them, or you’d look back, and you couldn’t look back.

Since your eyes were closed, you had no way to know that Sebastian chased after the car for nearly a block, giving up at the turn of the road, falling into the gravel and laying there for a while, repeating that one English word he couldn’t get out of his head: stay.

[flightofaqrow]

YOUR CHARACTER IN FIVE QUOTES!

( repost, do not reblog. ) Tell us your favorite quotes from your character. Give us an idea of who they are by five things they’ve said.

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Alright, buckle up, I’m stealing this meme and repurposing it for my own use. Probably more than five, and including some quotes from others about him, though I’m going to try to keep it in groupings, and also not meant to be exhaustive of qrow’s character, but rather, to point out some very poignant lines that have effected my portrayal and... some possibly in an unpopular way compared to what I’ve seen in the fandom? I think Qrow Branwen is more complex than fitting the broody broken boi trope would give credit for (though he at least fits it as an overall stereotype).

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1) I’m absolutely sure Qrow had a rough start and transition from the tribe to ‘civilized society’, coupled with typical teenage hormones and mood swings, but generally, Beacon was a good time, and he sees himself as a good huntsman, and (though we may joke about it sometimes) he absolutely does not have an active nor passive death wish.

Yeah, yeah, I know he has a song all about how he self depreciates and carries shame, but that’s a theme of his attitude, not backed up to be every single aspect of his life by actual canon. Quite the contrary. 

I don’t know where fndm gets the idea that he constantly lost his battles (especially to Raven) or was perpetually looked down on or stayed an angsty, broody teenager (who could never possibly have ever even breathed a single happy breath on his own without Summer??) all four years. As if school was hell and he never came into his own until STRQ was a graduated unit or something? If ever?

Leo tells Raven she and her brother are evenly matched. Raven herself - who takes pride in being stronger and more clever than others - describes them as a pair: “we were good.”

“you're talking to a member of the coolest team that graduated Beacon! ...we were pretty well known back in the day. ...hey, we looked good! and I have a number of inappropriate stories to back that up!”

“let me tell ya, these kids are way better than we were at their age. ...well, not better than me, specifically...”

“a professional huntsman like myself is expected to get results as soon as possible.”

The way Qrow talks about his past, as well as carrying a memento of team STRQ around with him, it’s very nostalgic for better times. The way he talks about his work, if not himself, can actually be to the point of being self-aggrandizing, instead of depreciating. He’s even able to admit that his dreaded semblance, Misfortune, “comes in handy in a fight.”

“lots of us thought you were just layin' low. eventually, we just came to accept that you were probably dead. but the stories about you, i based my weapon off of yours. i wanted to be as good as the Grimm Reaper.”

Qrow talks about himself as striving to be better. It seems he never really sees himself as reaching that standard, but it certainly implies he knows he’s not at the bottom - he had an ideal he wanted to reach and likely worked towards. Notice the use of “us” and “we” as well - he talks about himself as part of a group of larger huntsfolk circles. Who knows if this refers to students or licensed professionals or both, but this heavily, heavily implies that he was more than just a sad, outside loner, at least for a time; he chatted with others and traded stories about goings-on and missions and idols.

Somewhat related and leading into...

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2)  At least around this blog, Qrow does not have an inferiority complex because of Raven.

Does he have some internalized shame about being soft that he can’t quite shake? A few insecurities about being unwanted compared to her natural leadership and competence? Yes. Does he consciously view himself as lesser than her? No. 

Also... he’s not co-dependent on her. To a degree, for while? Yeah, there was probably an unhealthy reliance going on there. But Qrow and Raven establish themselves with their own identities at some point, they’d have to, to chose different paths so stubbornly. There’s a rift there, eventually, if not always having been at odds in some ways and comfort in others.

“Raven's got an interesting way of looking at the world that I don't particularly agree with. [The weak die, the strong live. Those are the rules.]”

“...they were killers and thieves.”

We are shown that the twins were raised with this weak/strong dichotomy. Raven bought into it, but Qrow explicitly separates himself from that belief. Shown again when he mocks Raven with, “because that was your rule, right?”

He believes in true family, he believes in protecting the weak, he believes in doing good, he believes in standing up for what’s right. He may not like being emotionally vulnerable, but he shows softness and kindness to others, and for as much as he likes his flourish when fighting, he also isn’t afraid to look an absolute fool either.

He is shown de-escalating conflict time and again, even if he also falls back into violent, defensive patterns at times, too. He resents Raven for the choices she made, and as far as I interpret, thinks she’s the lesser one for running away and abandoning her family and her mission. (Meanwhile, she thinks the same of him for turning his back on the tribe.)

He all but spits on the tribe’s way of life, is willing to attack them outright to get the Spring Maiden. Why would he judge himself by those standards any longer? No, he lives by his own code, a huntsman’s code, and even has some pride in that. It’s why he can call Clover out on it. It’s why he folds when Robyn holds him to it.

It’s why it hurts when he finds out what gave him more meaning, aligned more with his own heart, than the tribe’s dogma may not actually have any purpose at all...

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3) There’s so much to unpack here:

“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good... Meeting you... was the worst luck of my life...”

No one wanted him? I believe this means the tribe, maybe even Raven, maybe trying to make friends, but no one until Oz? Does this include STRQ? I have trouble reconciling that one with everything else we’re shown. I still maintain he was part of bigger circles, but we get confirmation that these were probably fleeting or superficial. He knew people and was known, but no one stuck around.  Also more confirmation of his values. Gave me a place sounds like so much more than refocusing to me. It’s not gave me a direction, not told me what to do, it’s took who i am and gave that person a place to thrive - despite the bad that comes with - to work towards something better. Just like he always wanted.

But then he backtracks. What is it he regrets?  We do know how he likes to go into dramatic hyperbole about these things when he’s upset. [eg. “we’re not family anymore.” “i shouldn’t have come. i shouldn’t have let any of you come.” “we can kill the man who put us here.” “gone. like everybody else.”] (I love that crwby lets their characters do it. we all say things we don’t mean in the moment, give voice to those intrusive thoughts.)

I’ve talked before about how I picture him having flashes of all the lives he could have had instead. Would he have gone back with Raven and at least still had her? Would he just have been a normal huntsman defending people from Grimm without the crushing extra knowledge? Might he have been able to have a relationship or family of his own had he not signed up for the vagabond spy life? Does he just resent losing Summer and Raven because of how things went down? We don’t know, and I think the point is that he probably doesn’t either, but the weight of sacrificing all those alternatives and putting so much faith in Ozpin, stacking so much of his life’s work and identity on being part of the inner circle, comes crashing down on him all at once. 

also quite fitting...

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4) "Nice place to raise a family. ...If you're ...into that sort of thing."

This is from his World of Remnant narration, talking about Patch, but it hits so damn hard. The softness and warmth in the first half of the statement, followed by the harsh need to qualify it in regards to his own outlook... We learn all we need to know about his opinion of the subject. 

We see the conflict right there - the possibility of such a thing brings a wholesome lilt to his voice, yet he implies that it’s not something he personally intends to pursue. Is that because he doesn’t want it or because he thinks he can’t or shouldn’t have it? I don’t think that’s clear, and he may not know either. 

At the very least, I fall into the camp of him believing he doesn’t want it. Combine that with the fact that he does pick up that spy life, which makes keeping his distance a necessity, and makes settling down near impossible, and then he definitely knows it’s not in the cards for him. 

So I think it ultimately falls somewhere between. Why would he make the commitment to being a lone spy if he had dreams of love and a family? ...But then why would he resent making the sacrifice of that possibility later if he didn’t? 

Having his nieces around probably softened him up to the idea, but he’d already made his decision by that point. He’s also solid and generally happy with his choices at the point it would most matter. He’s married to his job. He’s fulfilling his missions well, in well-suited ways for his strengths and flaws. He has his nieces around as a balm on any sort of biological clock. He has his purpose with Oz.  Until he doesn’t.

This is an incredibly long-winded way of restating that one of the headcanon hills I do stand to die on is: Gray-romantic Qrow.

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5) “some people are just born unlucky... my semblance isn't like most - it's not exactly something i... do.”

I am constantly confused by the amount of people trying to do character analysis around Misfortune and Qrow based on standard semblance lore, when he has yet again stated explicitly to the contrary. We all have carte blanche ya’ll. We can do whatever we want with this, because he’s already told us his semblance breaks the rules. 

My full headcanon for it is here and my opinion about the direction I hope it takes is here but tl;dr

Unless we learn otherwise, there are very, very few ways I believe Misfortune is a reflection of Qrow’s soul, if at all. This is from the first headcanon, but it’s worth restating, because it’s important to me, aaand fits the theme of pulling in some quotes from other characters:

Everyone likes to quote Ren and his description of someone’s personality being incorporated into a semblance. I don’t buy it for qrow. Here’s the FULL quote: “A common philosophy is that a warrior’s Semblance is a part of who they are. Some say your personality and character can define your Semblance while some claim that it is the other way around. Of course, there are still many who don’t see a connection at all.”

So unless we find out otherwise I will also die on the hill that qrow is an example of the middle part. Qrow’s personality/soul has nothing to do with why his semblance is what it is, but being forced to grow up and live with Misfortune has defined him tremendously.

OKAY, there are some smaller quick ones, but I’ll stick to my five points like I promised at least, and maybe do a lesser version some other time. :]

[vrednic]

COLLATERAL DAMAGE (PT. 2)

Teen Wolf x Vampire Diaries AU

Prompt: Teen Wolf, but with a twist. Scott McCall has a twin sister… and she falls in love with Derek Hale.

Summary: After Scott refuses to join his pack, Peter Hale turns Serena McCall into a werewolf. Will her transformation be for better… or for worse?

Word Count: 3,285

Author’s Note: This series will skim the events of seasons 1-3. I have a lot of content planned, so there will be some skipping around at certain points, but it will all work in unison, I promise! I hope you all enjoy part 2! Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading :)

*PART ONE IS HERE. *

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Werewolves.

The topic of lycanthropy was one I hadn’t visited since freshman year english. I thought back to the unit of Greek mythology, and how we had been assigned research projects on famous Greek myths. My english teacher gave us the liberty to choose our own myths, and I had naively chosen Lycaon of Arcadia. Lycaon, the king of Arcadia, attempted to trick Zeus into eating human flesh, testing to see if he was truly all-knowing. Angered by Lycaon’s blasphemous actions, Zeus punished Lycaon by turning him into a wolf.

Oh, the irony of it all.

For the past three weeks, I have been given gradual insight into the world of the supernatural. The full moon was fast-approaching, and I needed to learn everything I could as quickly as possible. I wasn’t yet sure how I felt about my transformation. I was amazed at how quickly I began noticing changes. Overnight, it seemed, my senses had been dialed up to a thousand. I was stronger, faster, and more confident. I could smell, hear, and sense things other people couldn’t. One of the most fascinating things about my newfound abilities was that my body’s healing process was nearly instantaneous. The only downside of it was that I had yet to experience the brutality of the full moon. I was afraid that I would see things differently after, that I’d realize that I’d never be able to control it. Would my supernatural powers really be worth being enslaved to an insatiable bloodlust every month? Would it be worth putting my friends and loved ones at risk, especially when one slip-up could mean death for any and all of them?

I had been training tirelessly with Scott every day since I was bitten. Before school, after school, and during free periods. He had effectively taught me how to make my claws appear and disappear at will, how to partially shift into my werewolf form, how to follow scents, how to decipher chemo-signals, and how to trigger the healing process of an injury using pain. I was impressed with my progress, but I knew that I had only been exposed to bits and pieces of the extensive supernatural spectrum that I was now a part of. I had always been good at the technical side of things, so I knew that learning the basics of lycanthropy wasn’t going to be an issue. I considered myself to be on the smart side-- I had no problem displaying resourcefulness or creativity or administering critical thinking in complex situations. One thing I wasn’t very good at, however, was regulating my emotions.

When our parents got divorced, Scott and I handled things very differently. He was always a mama’s boy, and I was a daddy’s girl. Our father was an alcoholic and a cheater; something I knew all too well, but was also something I wanted to remain oblivious to. I’m assuming this realization is what made it easier for Scott to hate him, to be okay with moving on without him. It was harder for me to cope with his absence because our dad had always been my rock -- my hero --  and I couldn’t picture him ever hurting anyone. Especially me.

The night my mom kicked my dad out of the house for good, he had come home drunk. He instigated an argument with her over something, as usual. But with them it was never just an argument; it always ended up with them screaming at each other. Scott and I shared a room back then, and it was located right by the staircase, which was where they happened to be arguing that night. Not surprisingly, their heated voices turned into shouts, and we were both awoken. We peered through a crack in the door as our parents fought. My dad could barely keep his balance; his cheeks were flushed, his eyes crazy, violent words spewing from his mouth fueled by intoxication. I remembered vividly how he had lost his composure and grabbed my mother by the neck, slamming her against the wall. I let out an audible gasp and stood frozen in horror. Scott flung the door open and rushed into the hall, immediately wedging himself between our mother and father. My dad grabbed Scott’s arm, attempting to pull him out of the way, but yanked my brother with too much force. He was flung against the railing of the staircase, and he tumbled down the stairs. He was unconscious at the bottom of the stairs for maybe 30 seconds, and when he came to, he didn’t remember a thing. My mother ushered us back into our room and put us into bed. I fell asleep crying that night, but I didn’t know exactly for whom I was crying. Had it been for my brother? Had it been for my mother? For the loss of my dad? Or was it for me?

I hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye to him. I woke up the following morning, expecting him to be there, bags in tow, waiting to talk to us one last time. But he was already gone. I knew he didn’t deserve it, but I couldn’t help but miss him. When the plea for divorce was initiated, there was never a discussion about shared custody or visitations. Once the divorce was finalized, I knew that he was never coming back. It was because of his betrayal and abandonment that I grew up with issues when it came to trusting people. I was filled with this deep, aching feeling of isolation, and it made me angry. Very. As I grew older, I got better at suppressing it, but I knew that somewhere deep down, it was still there. With the full moon prodding and poking at my resolve and self control, I knew it was only a matter of time before those feelings resurfaced.

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The day of my first full moon, I felt the effects as soon as I got out of bed in the morning. I felt my heartbeat rising with every breath that I took. When I got to school, my senses immediately began to feel overstimulated. Everything was brighter, louder, and more jarring. The sound of the bell ringing made me feel like someone was hammering nails into my skull. The people I passed in the hallway blurred together, all of their emotions and scents hitting me like a door to  the face. At lunch, the sound of people’s voices and laughter made me want to tear their heads off. I looked around the cafeteria, feeling myself grow angrier and angrier, for seemingly no reason at all. Rationally, I knew that these people had done nothing wrong. Emotionally, they were the piece of gum stuck under my shoe. My gaze locked on Jackson Whittemore, and I fantasized about how good it would feel to tear his tongue right out of his head. He had always been an asshole to my brother, so why shouldn’t I kill him? It would be extremely satisfying to watch the smug look on his face disappear as I stood over him, my hands drenched in his blood, as I began to tear him limb from limb…

“Uh, Serena? Are you okay?”

Scott’s voice brought me back to reality. I was suddenly overcome with anxiety as I realized the vile intrusive thoughts that I was just experiencing. What was the matter with me? This wasn’t me. I wasn’t a killer. Only, maybe that wasn’t exactly true anymore.

I nodded, fabricating a smile. “Yeah, no, everything’s great. I was just thinking about my research paper for… biology. It’s due tomorrow and I have no clue where to start.”

“That’s fair,” he said. “But remember that it’s perfectly okay for you to be feeling on edge today. It’s your first full moon and I promise nobody will blame you for not feeling or acting like yourself.”

I felt the tension in my shoulders ease ever-so-slightly. I nodded once more, reassuring him that I was in fact okay. I felt better knowing that out of all of the things that had changed, our sibling bond hadn’t. He’d be there with me to make me feel safe and to teach me control. Before long, I would be able to be just like him. I trusted him, and I knew he had faith in me. That meant only one thing: I had to have faith in me too.

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Later in the evening, as the sun was setting, I began feeling the effects of the full moon amplifying. My heartbeat was nearly erratic and Scott was nowhere to be found. I was in the bathroom, standing over the sink and looking at myself in the mirror. There was a flicker of golden yellow in my eyes, and I nearly sobbed out of pure anxiety alone. I balled my hands into fists, trying to focus on anything other than the impending sense of dread that I was experiencing. I felt a warm, slippery substance course down my wrist. Blood.

I opened my fist up, revealing four deep punctures on both of my palms, where my claws had dug into. The temporary flicker of pain was small, but enough to bring me out of the frenzy. I took this opportunity to set out to find Scott.

I didn’t remember the way to the Hale house all too well, but what I did remember was its scent. The smell of charred wood and smoke would be very hard to miss. I maneuvered my way through the darkness, making sure every step I took was careful and calculated. Scott had mentioned that Beacon Hills Preserve was littered with traps set by hunters. It was also a full moon, so I knew there would not be any shortage of hunters roaming around town tonight, hoping to catch and kill their next supernatural victim.

As if on cue, I heard voices from a distance. By the sound of it, there were maybe four or five of them, all men. I swallowed, trying to think of an escape plan. I couldn’t run. It was fall, and the weight of my body against the leaves on the ground would give my location away immediately. I could have hidden, but I knew that they probably had some sort of a thermographic camera. If they happened to get me in one of the shots, I would have considered myself dead.

I tried to weigh any and all other options, but I had none. The best chance at escape that I had right now was simply to run. They sounded far away enough so that even if they did hear me, my superhuman speed would give me an advantage. I decided that now was as good a time as any, and began moving. I tried to keep to the shadows, not daring to make any unnecessary sounds. I noticed too late that I had no idea where I was going. I looked around me, but I couldn’t pinpoint any familiar landmarks. I could have sworn that I was heading back in the direction I came, but judging by my surroundings, that wasn’t the case. I stopped for a moment, attempting to gather my thoughts.

“Come on, Serena,” I whispered to myself. “Think.”  

I was jolted away from my thoughts when I saw a red light from my peripheral vision. I was frozen, completely unsure what to do. More red lights emerged from the darkness, pointing straight at me. Lasers. It was then that instinct spoke to me, telling me to run. And that’s exactly what I did.

I turned on my heel and bolted away from where the hunters had been. I didn’t take the time to care about the tracks or the noise I left in my wake. I had the advantage of speed, but they had the advantage of knowledge and experience. These were professional killers. I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew what move I’d make next even before I did. Through the commotion, I almost forgot why I had been in the woods in the first place. The fury of the full moon hit me, unforgiving. It was as if she allowed me only a few moments of peace before the storm. I looked up at the sky and the moon glimmered at its peak. Almost instantaneously I was overcome with an animalistic urge to go back and rip the head off of every single hunter that was on my trail.

My claws and fangs appeared as if by magic, and my eyes were aglow. I felt angry-- so angry. But it was that anger that gave me power. I felt strong… unstoppable. Against all rational thought, I turned back around, using my infrared eyes to see through the darkness. A few rows of trees ahead was where I spotted them. Two of them were kneeled down, examining the tracks that I had left behind, judging the direction I must have taken. The other three were behind them, standing guard. They looked around, weapons drawn, ready to fire at any given moment.

I growled. It was a sound that conveyed equal parts rage and purpose. I was hiding behind a tree, looking for the perfect moment to attack. Just as I was about to launch myself in their direction, a pair of hands snagged me from behind with tremendous force. Before I could growl or scream, the person used one hand to cover my mouth and tucked me against his chest, making sure our bodies were still shielded by the tree. I tipped my head back to see who it was, and was met with the fiery gaze of Derek Hale.

He broke eye contact first and peered over my head, trying to come up with an escape tactic. His stone cold composure made it clear that it wasn’t his first time evading death by the hands of werewolf hunters. I, on the other hand, was terrified. I felt an equal amount of shame and embarrassment once I realized how foolish I had been. It was a night of the full moon and I wasn’t in control, for one. I also felt extremely stupid for walking into woods that were infested with hunters; ones that wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between my eyes. Another shame-inducing component was the fact that Derek just had to be the one to find me. I had gotten a brief description of him from Scott, so I knew that he was hardcore. He also hated liabilities, and at the moment, that’s exactly what I was.

“Now’s not the time to wallow in shame,” he whispered to me, his voice gruff. “If you hadn’t noticed, they’ve got us completely surrounded. It’s a miracle they haven’t seen us yet.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. “Don’t bother denying it. The smell of embarrassment is rolling off of you like a stench.”

Your commentary isn’t exactly helping, I wanted to say to him. But I knew better than to push his buttons, especially when we were on the brink of being discovered. I kept my back against the tree, waiting for further instructions. After a few minutes, Derek finally spoke again.

He lowered his mouth next to my ear, his warm breath sending a tingling sensation onto my neck and down my back. “On my signal, you run. I’ll stay behind and cause a distraction so you can get away.” He pointed behind him to another row of trees. “Run that way. Get out of the woods as fast as you can.”

Before I could get a word out, he was gone. He roared loudly, capturing the attention of the hunters that resided a few yards away. As they ran to him, he turned back to look at me, flashing his icy blue eyes. That was my cue. I took off running in the direction he had said. I heard the commotion of the fight almost the entire way. Growls and roars from Derek’s end were met with the sound of guns firing. I found myself secretly hoping that he would be okay, although in the back of my mind I knew he would be. He was Derek Hale, after all.

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I made it out of the preserve after only a handful of minutes of running. At the end of the treeline, right where the road started, a vehicle’s headlights cut through the darkness. The closer I got, the more details I could make out. It was a blue 1980 Jeep CJ5. Standing beside it were two silhouettes, both male. I let out a sigh of relief.

I jogged the rest of the way and launched myself into Scott’s arms. He squeezed me tightly and ushered me into the Jeep. Stiles drove onto the road, taking the route that led back to my house. Scott turned to look at me from the passenger’s seat.

“Why the hell were you in the woods?” He asked. His tone was firm but still held a touch of delicacy. We both knew it was more for my sake than his. “Didn’t I tell you about the hunters? The preserve is not a safe place for a werewolf on a night of a full moon. Argent and his hunters have memorized every square inch of those woods. You’re lucky Derek found you when he did. If he hadn’t, I’m sure Gerard would’ve turned you into a human kebab by now.”

I felt my throat tighten in frustration. “The imagery really isn’t necessary. I know what I did was stupid, and I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt like I was losing control and you weren’t there, Scott!” My voice caught on his name, and I had to take a few moments to collect myself. “You weren’t there and, quite frankly, I have no one else to turn to on this. I don’t have a best friend like yours. I don’t have one that’ll pick up my call in the middle of the night and be willing to be a part of the world of the supernatural. I don’t have a best friend who’ll chain me up on a full moon and help me find restraint. I was all alone in my home, which I could have easily torn apart if I had lost control of myself tonight. I was counting on you to help me, and you weren’t there.”

The air was thick with tension. I could sense the sadness emanating from both Scott and Stiles. I felt guilty for taking all of my frustration out on my brother, but everything I said was true, and I wasn’t going to apologize for how I felt. Scott was a natural leader, and I admired that about him. Being a leader meant taking on responsibilities, and I understood that he wouldn’t be around all the time. Over the weeks following my transformation, I got a chance to see just how much people needed him.  Peter wanted him in his pack. Derek wanted him as an ally. Stiles wanted him as a best friend. Hell, even the lacrosse team needed him as team captain. But tonight was the one night that I needed him. I needed my brother, and he wasn’t there.

“I’m so sorry, Serena. I can do better, I promise. If you’ll just let me--” he began.  

“No,” I said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk. Just take me home.”

With that, I turned to face the window, looking at the blur of lights, cars, houses, and dark, desolate streets passing me by. Scott sighed, but he didn’t protest.

We rode in silence the entire way back.

TAGS

@broco8

[i-write-about-anything]

Two Betas and the Beneficial Friendships Part 3

Prompt: The reader is in not only one screwing one beta but two. Neither of the boys know, but a recent threat exposes her, what will the boys do? (WOW) (it gets juicier guys)

Pairings: Theo Raeken x Reader, Isaac Lahey x Reader  

Part 1 - Part 2

Third Person POV

She gulped, her eyes closing as she saw Isaac being thrown across the concrete. She couldn’t do anything, the werewolf’s claws already piercing the skin on her neck. Her eyes moved everywhere, she had to have something, anything to help. She’d find herself in this position one too many times, she hated feeling useless, she was the only human in the pack after all. Granted Stiles was human too but he changed after the Nogitsune, he was stronger now, not weak like her. She soon found herself on the floor, the werewolf who had been holding her now lying next to her. “Big mistake.” She knew that voice, Theo. He dug his claws into the werewolf who had made her neck bleed, then, they started brawling. “Go (y/n).” Theo rushed out as he struggled to fight back. “Go!” He yelled causing her to scramble up to her feet, her eyes flicking to Isaac who’d already been fighting the green eyes creature. She couldn’t leave them here, she wouldn’t, she loved them too much to leave again. She gulped before her eyes scrambled to find anything she could use as a weapon. It took her ten seconds to find a metal rod and five seconds to scoop it up into her hands. She moved to the wolf who had dug his claws into her neck, screaming she swung the rod to his head, blood splattering all over Theo’s face who had been under him. The werewolf fell to the side as Theo stood abruptly, his arms going around (y/n) and pushing her behind him as another wolf came to attack. Her eyes landed on Isaac who struggled to stand and that’s when she saw the grin of the green-eyed werewolf as he lifted his claws ready to end Isaac, her Isaac. She saw red, clenching her jaw she moved towards him, Theo not being able to stop her. She swung the rod hitting the werewolf in the head making him stumble enough for her to swing once more. She screamed as she continued her assault, swinging five more times before the rod was stopped by the werewolf's hand, his grin scaring the shit out of her. She was pulled back by an arm around her waist, no doubt it was Isaac. He pushed her behind him and almost instantly Theo pressed his back against hers. She didn’t get to think too much into the fact that she was in a Theo-Isaac sandwich before she heard a dark laugh.

“I wasn’t planning on killing you so early.” His green eyes had shifted to their normal brown ones just for a moment before they retreated making her clutch her hand on Isaac’s shirt. “But now, I think I'll have a little bit of fun before Scott gets here.” His claws extended, a tail growing from the bottom of his back, she gasped as he transformed into something she’d never seen before. 

“If you think we’re going to let you touch her you’ve clearly lost your mind.” Theo spat, blood dripping from his nose, he’d heal, he wasn’t worried about that. 

“Oh, the contrary. I knew you two would show up, well before Scott.” His voice laced in venom. “Can’t let the girl you love suffer even if you’re raging after finding out she was whoring herself around to the two of you.” Isaac growled causing her to shove her face into his back. “That’s why I called back up.” His grin made Theo’s skin crawl as he made a sound, dozens of werewolves stepping in from the darkness of the woods. Theo’s hand reached behind him and (y/n) knew exactly what he wanted. She took his hand, sometimes Theo had to be reminded that even before he was evil, he was also human and her touch alone would bring him to his knees at her mercy if she’d ask him. Isaac did the same, latching onto her other hand. 

“We’re not going to let them get you.” Theo spoke as his back pressed just a little tighter against hers. Her chest now pressed fully onto Isaac who nodded in agreement. Theo cleared his throat and looked straight to the creature, his claws extending and his fangs reappearing as his eyes shined yellow. “And that’s why I did too.” Theo growled and in seconds Scott appeared followed by Stiles, Malia, Liam and Lydia. The creature laughed. 

“As if you seven can take all of us.” His laughing eased, there was a moment of silence before Isaac’s laugh erupted. 

“Oh, we’re not alone.” He growled out and only then did (y/n) look towards Scott. Derek emerged, Jackson in tow giving her a slight wink. Chris and Noah stood beside Stiles, guns raised and ready to fire. Dozens of other werewolves stepping beside and behind the pack, her pack, even Peter had shown up. “Don’t look so confident now do you.” Isaac smiled, his grip on (y/n)’s hand not letting up. 

“Despite your beliefs. We knew you’d have some kind of army and the moment we knew you’d taken her we knew we had to do the same.” Theo smiled and almost in sync he and Isaac moved (y/n) backwards towards the pack. 

“Get out of beacon hills and never come back, we don’t take second chances very well.” Scott growled out. The creature hesitated, but he knew he’d never get what he wanted, not like this. He disappeared, his pack of wolfs along with him. “Are you okay?” Scott’s eyes shifted towards her neck that dipped small drops of blood from the wolf claws that were not indented into her skin. 

“I’m okay.” (Y/N) nodded, her eyes shifting down to her feet. She wasn’t though, despite that she was able to get out of that with just four small holes in her neck, she was weak in mind, she knows she’d have sleepless nights after this. Then there was the other issue that included the two boys she was currently holding hands with. 

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Theo’s voice spoke when Scott looked at both of the betas hands in (y/n)’s. 

“How about we go back to my place, we have somethings we need to talk about, we’ll get Lydia and Stiles to say with you tonight.” Scott sighed and looked at Isaac who shook his head. 

“No offense but this doesn’t concern you, we’re taking her home and we’re talking about this.” Isaac’s fingers moved from Theo to (y/n) to himself. “This isn’t a pack matter, not anymore, regardless the last thing she needs is to talk, not that you’ve noticed but she’s not exactly okay with being kidnapped and being held captive. She’s not one of us Scott, she’s human and she had a disadvantage today.” (Y/N) closed her eyes reminded herself to take deep breaths, despite wanting Isaac to be a fuck buddy he had gotten to know her well, too well that her heart danced when he noticed she wasn’t fine. No doubt Theo already knew as his thumb stroked her knuckles. They knew her better than she thought which was only going to make breaking their hearts even harder, she didn’t want to choose between the two, she couldn’t. They both had a piece of her that was missing and even now standing in front of the pack she’d thought was her saving grace, her heart ached for the two betas. 

“Come on princess.” Theo’s voice was the only thing she needed to hear before she felt him walk away. She moved with him as Isaac moved behind her, her hands still in each of the boys. The walk was long, too long as they managed to walk back to Scott’s house, Theo’s blue truck on the driveway. Theo opened the back-door motioning for her to get in which she did, Isaac climbing in next to her as Theo slipped into the driver’s seat. He took off towards her apartment, silence filled the truck, not even the radio was on. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her body into Isaac’s chest. He engulfed her into his arms before he placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. Theo looked at her through the rear-view mirror, he’d do anything for her, there was no doubt about it, he had fallen deeply for her without even noticing. He pulled up to her apartment complex before they all exited his truck, (y/n) was thankful she lived in the first floor, climbing steps right now wouldn’t be ideal for her. Theo had grabbed her keys from Scott’s table well before the encounter so he was the one who unlocked her door before he walked in, (y/n) and Isaac following him in. 

“I’ll make you some tea.” Isaac whispered before he moved to the small kitchen, the feeling of his body away made her frown but it was quickly gone when Theo’s hand grabbed hers. 

“Come on, let’s get you to shower before we patch you up, yeah?” (Y/N) looked at Theo, his outer shell had finally fallen, he was no longer the cocky asshole she first met, no, this Theo was reserved for her and only her, he was real with her, he was vulnerable with her. Theo turned on the shower, making sure it was at the least scolding hot, they’d shared their fair share of showers for him to know her desired temperature, it eased her muscles, he knew that. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything, okay?” His eyes met hers before she nodded and before he could leave, she grabbed his wrist. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered and he shook his head giving her a small smile, it was a sad one, of course it was. 

“Don’t apologize, shower princess, we’ll talk about this when the time is right.” With that he left her to shower, only she didn’t just shower, she cried, even though she knew they’d hear her, she was tired of it all. The fighting, the hiding. She didn’t know how long she was in the shower, but it was long enough that the water was now freezing cold. She shivered and quickly got out, a towel and her pajamas on the countertop, no doubt Theo had placed them there. She dressed quickly before moving into the living room where she found Theo and Isaac laughing at a conversation they had managed to keep, it seemed surreal to see them talking to each other, let alone laughing with one another. She let out a small sigh when she realized this was not going to last long, they were both the same type of person, jealous and possessive. Their eyes snapped to her and Isaac extended his hand.

“Come here sweetheart.” He smiled at her; she’d only seen him smile like that when they were alone. She moved towards Isaac, sitting next to him on her couch. He handed her a cup of tea that she gladly accepted before she took a sip of it, instantly relaxing. 

“Now let’s see how bad those claw marks are, yeah?” Theo spoke as he moved to sit on the other side of her. His hands were on her neck instantly and she tilted her head for him. “Should have killed the fucker when I had the chance.” Theo growled as his fingers brushed the small holes. 

“Yeah, we should’ve killed the freak too but you know Scott.” Isaac sipped on his own cup of tea before looking down at (y/n)’s neck. “They’re not too bad.” Isaac patted her back lightly. “You’ll live sweetheart.” Isaac gave her a smile before his hand rested on her knee. “She totally saved your ass back there by the way,” He looked at Theo who chuckled and shook his head. 

“You’re one to talk, she saved your ass too.” Theo sighed and placed his hand on hers. “Which was by far the stupidest shit you’ve ever done by the way; a metal rod isn’t going to stop a werewolf.” His voice was stern but only because he was scared, he’d lose her there.

“Well it stopped them enough.” She backfired before sipping her tea again. “Plus, you guys needed help, I helped, a simple thank you would be nice.” Truth was, she was terrified, she’d never acted on impulse like that, she’d always have a plan. 

“My apologies princess.” Theo smiled before kissing her forehead. “Thank you, for saving my ass.” She giggled and shook her head, despite the shit they’d just gone through, what they still needed to sort out, he was still making her smile, it been hell for both of them apart from each other. “I missed that.” Theo whispered engulfing her into his arms and placing her onto his lap. 

“Yeah, no, hands off lover boy.” Isaac growled and Theo rolled his eyes not complying with his wishes. 

“I didn’t say shit to you when you were all over her in the backseat of my truck, chill the fuck out dude.” Isaac flashed his yellow eyes at Theo. 

“That was out of comfort, asshole.” Isaac hissed out.

“Enough, please.” (y/n) sighed, her hand cupped Isaac’s face and his eyes met hers. “Relax.” Which he did, his eyes fading into his original crystal blue. “Are we going to talk about it?” She spoke as she pushed off of Theo’s lap standing in between them. 

“What’s there to talk about? You were fucking the both of us and now you have to choose right?” Isaac spoke a bit harsh but that’s what Isaac does when he’s mad, he lashes out. 

“I can’t choose, I won’t.” She took a step back and her eyes switched from Isaac to Theo. “I understand that it might sound completely stupid but I love you both and I completely understand that I have to leave you both alone after this. I’d rather be alone then not have one of you, and call me selfish but that’s how I’m handling this.” She turned her back on them before they looked at each other. 

“Do we not get a say in what we want?” Theo spoke as he stood from the couch. “Look I just think we should call it a night, we’ll discuss this another time, preferably when we haven’t just got out of something serious.” 

“If not now then when Theo? The faster we all come to terms with my decision the faster we all get to heal. Isn’t that what you guys want?” She turned to face them, Isaac stood next to Theo who was slightly shorter than Isaac.

“What we want is you, and with your proclaimed love for the both of us you’ll be surprised to find out we both feel the same about you. I mean haven’t you noticed we’d walk through hell and back for you sweetheart.” Issac Lahey never was a person that was good with words, but he was never a good with his emotions either. 

“That doesn’t answer my question, it’s not like we can all three ride into the sunset.” She scoffed and they chuckled.  

“And why can’t we?” Theo crossed his arms over his chest. 

“You’re not serious are you?” They both stood in front of her, silent for her to continue. “Fine, fuck. For starters you two hate the living shit out of each other.” They could never last more than a couple minutes together.

“I don’t know about that, I think we’re doing pretty good, aren’t we?” Isaac looked over at Theo who nodded.

“Oh for sure, I mean we haven’t killed each other.” Theo smirked as his eyes landed on hers. 

“What exactly are you guys implying?” Her head was scrambling, she was tired, maybe Theo was right, this conversation should have waited for another time.

 “Oh you know what we’re implying sweetheart, I’d hate for you to slip out of my hands before I could show you how truly happy you’ve made me these couple of months.” He took a step forward and she didn’t move. Her feet were frozen in place. 

“When the hell did you two even talk about this? This is ridiculous.” She scoffed once more.

“Trust me we had our fight as soon as we left that hospital.” Theo took the same step forward. “But we also talked.” She snapped her eyes between the two. “Crazy I know, we find out the girl we’ve been sleeping with has been sleeping with another guy and the second thing we do is tell each other how we’re not letting you go.” His hand touched her right arm pulling her closer to the both betas.  

“You get that right?” Isaac mirrored Theo’s hand on her left arm. “We’re not letting you go.” She inhaled a deep breath, her eyes looking at the two, their eyes held possession. 

“You get us both if you’ll still have us princess.” Theo’s voice was low but it was enough for her to release the breath she has been holding.  

[antazya]

Sci-Tech NEWS of the Day - 31 JULY 2021, 2142 Hours IST

1) 📷📷 HALO Infinite campaign spoilers have leaked. Spoilers for Halo Infinte’s main campaign are leaking online following the launch of the game’s first technical preview. 343 Industries' Joseph Staten flagged the leak on Twitter, confirming that the team “unintentionally included a small number of Halo Infinite campaign files in the tech preview build” and that “unfortunately, these files contain spoilers.” 2) 📷📷 Samsung Galaxy Watch 4 classic live photos surface ahead of launch. Samsung is largely anticipated to launch new foldable phones and new wearables at its upcoming Galaxy Unpacked event on August 11. 91Mobiles, citing an anonymous source, shared live photos of the upcoming Samsung Galaxy Watch 4 Classic. The wearable has a round dial and is seen to have a Black and Silver finish. Samsung Galaxy Watch 4 Classic is likely to feature a physical bezel and two buttons on the right edge for navigation and power on/off. I am waiting so eagerly as if I can afford this.😜 3) 📷📷 Google launches new Google meet Web app. Google has launched a new standalone web application for Google Meet. The web app also known as the Progressive web app has all the features of the Google Meet app, but this is strictly for the web. You no longer have to type the URL or go to Gmail to start a meeting on Google Meet, you can simply download the application on your laptop, computer, or MacBook and use it. Finally!!!! 4) 📷📷 ZTE Axon 30 5G with an under-display camera set to launch globally in September. ZTE has launched its Axon 30 5G smartphone in China, which sports a new generation of under-display cameras. According to ZTE, the new generation technology ensures better synchronization between the front camera and the conventional display area, and a more natural transition between them, which is important if someone wants to get the best selfies. I guess we are going to see a hell lot of innovation this time. 5) 📷📷 World's first commercial re-programmable satellite blast into space. The world's first commercial fully re-programmable satellite lifted off from the Kourou space center in French Guiana on Friday on board an Ariane 5 rocket, ushering in a new era of more flexible communications. 6) 📷📷 Apple iPhone 14 Pro could sport a titanium body. According to Mashable, a report by JP Morgan Chase suggests that Apple plans to equip the Pro models in its iPhone 14 line-up, likely coming next year, with a titanium alloy chassis. This would be a first for the iPhone since previously Apple used aluminum and stainless steel for their devices. Titanium is harder and more resistant to scratches, more resistant to corrosion, and lighter than stainless steel. Meanwhile, the prices are gonna go skyrocketing. Shuuuuuuuuuu 7) 📷📷 Twitter announces a bug-bounty program to find biases in AI algorithms. Microblogging giant Twitter has announced a bug bounty program meant to find algorithmic bias in its artificial intelligence (AI) algorithms. The company is offering rewards worth up to $3,500 for identifying biases in its image cropping algorithm, an effort that Twitter had announced back in May. 8) 📷📷 International Space Station thrown out of control by a misfire of Russian module: NASA The International Space Station (ISS) was thrown briefly out of control on Thursday when jet thrusters of a newly arrived Russian research module inadvertently fired a few hours after it was docked to the orbiting outpost, NASA officials said. 9) 📷📷 Scientists discover 'Sea of fossils' buried under alive 200 Million years ago, located in Pompeii. Scientists have discovered thousands of fossils buried alive in the ocean almost 200 million years ago. Neville Hollingworth described the site located at the bottom of a quarry in England’s Cotswold Hills as a ‘Jurassic Pompeii’, which was destroyed due to Mount Vesuvius's volcanic eruption in 79 AD. OOH LA LA!! 10) 📷📷 The University of Texas at Austin: Bird brains left other dinosaurs behind. Research on a newly

discovered bird fossil led by The University of Texas at Austin found that a unique brain shape may be why the ancestors of living birds survived the mass extinction that claimed all other known dinosaurs. A fossil skull of Ichthyornis, a bird that lived 70 million years ago during the Late Cretaceous Period. Credit: Christopher Torres / The University of Texas at Austin “Living birds have brains more complex than any known animals except mammals,” said lead investigator Christopher Torres.

[mego42]

1x09 discussion questions

a truly shocking number of y’all do not seem to appreciate how flawless this ep is and that’s cool, it’s your right to be wrong, I'm sad for you, but it doesn’t put a dent in my enjoyment. as always, ty ty ty to @pynkhues​ for putting these together!!

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

ALL OF THEM!!!!!!! EVERY!!!! SINGLE!!!!!! ONE!!!!!!!!!! The break up, the Hills getting high, and of course the ABSOLUTELY ICONIC BLANKET ME MONTAGE THAT I LOVE SO MUCH IT PHYSICALLY HURTS ME being tied for stand out top three.

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

I am going to personally fight anyone who has an answer to this question because they are wrong.

3. Do you think the girls should have told Rio about Eddie? How do you think things would’ve gone if they had?

Considering we have three seasons of documentation on how well not communicating works out for them, it would’ve def at lest been a refreshing change to try something new.

4. Sara moves up the transplant list this ep in two pretty delightful scenes! Still - the episode makes it clear Stan and Ruby can’t afford the surgery. Before Ruby got into crime, what do you think her and Stan’s plan was regarding finding the money when they got the call about the transplant? What do you think they would’ve (or could’ve) done if crime wasn’t an option?  

I get the impression their entire back up plan was lie their asses off and then be like whatcha gonna do take the kidney back????

5. This episode makes it clear that Annie’s been staying with Beth since everything went down with Greg and Nancy in the last episode. Do you think this is something Annie’s done before? And what do you think this - and the subsequent scene with Annie calling Beth on Dean’s behaviour - tells us about the relationship between Annie, Beth and Dean over the years?

that I deserve a web series prequel entirely centered around this dynamic

6. Ruby and Stan have leftover weed from the Nelly concert in 2003! Lidya Jewett was born in 2006, so I think we can safely assume this is a pre-kids Ruby and Stan, haha. What do you think their dates / relationship life was like before the kids?

i’m more concerned with how dried out that pot is they might as well have been smoking potpourri i don’t understand why ruby didn’t hit annie up

7. What do you think of the truck job in this episode and how the girls handle it? Do you think Rio thought it would get this sort of reaction out of Beth?

I love it. as a scheme it’s somewhat contrived and I dislike the beth gets pulled over coincidence BUT it sets up two of my all time favorite scenes and the emotional journey of the cop following beth and beth desperately instructing ruby and annie how to take care of her kids (and dean) is so gut-wrenching and powerful for me i don’t care even a little bit. as a general rule, I will forgive SO MUCH if I’m emotionally hooked.

8. The first Beth x Rio break-up!!!!!!!!!! I have no question here, haha, just talk to me about it. I want to know all your thoughts! *chin hands*

bold of you to assume I am capable of coherent thoughts after the first introduction of E L I Z A B E T H

9. That said, do you think Beth really believed Rio was going to kill her?

I do. He’s held a gun to her head either directly or by proxy multiple times in her recent history, has been yammering her nonstop about murder as a preferred method of problem solving, and was being all cutesy about answering a direct question. not to mention she just spent a harrowing afternoon reckoning with the idea of what her children’s lives would be like without her. she wasn’t messing around. honestly, all things considered, a better question is why didn’t rio see that coming?

10. This episode also starts a pretty pivotal plotline for not just the remainder of this season, but s2 too in Boomer infiltrating Mary Pat’s life. What do you think of the dynamic that’s teased out between them in this episode? And do you think there was any way their relationship could’ve gone differently to the way that it did? Better? Worse?

honestly it breaks my heart knowing where it goes. I feel like boomer’s treatment of mary pat tends to get forgotten (which like, fair! boomer does so! many! awful! things!) but she like, genuinely liked him (which is another thing that breaks my heart because honey, no) and allison tolman plays it with the pitch perfect amount of cautiously hopeful that hey, sure okay, the last few months have been rock bottom but maybe things are looking up! and even without hindsight, just know how boomer is, you know it’s all going to come crashing down on her in the worst way. 

11. This episode also ends with each of the girls getting an emotional speech. Annie tries to leave a message for Ben, but ends up in a complex, biting, grief-struck conversation with Greg instead. Ruby tries to tell Stan about what’s happening with crime and Rio, but they’re interrupted by the phone call for Sara’s transplant. Beth gives her angry, self-righteous speech to Ruby and Annie about fairytales and goodness, which sets them on the scheme for the next episode. What do you think these scenes tell us about each of the girls’ arcs this season? And how do you think it sets us up for their final notes in the s1 finale?

watching beth’s journey of inventing the concept of women’s lib while ruby and any look on like what????? is she on about??????? is hilarious. i honestly can’t tell how sincerely that speech is supposed to come across (on the one hand, the performance, the editing, the placement in the ep. on the other, the sheer breath taking hypocrisy) and how much the utter lack of self perception is intentional, but it still entertains the hell out of me.

the annie and ruby stuff is great for all the right reasons, though. I love how eaten up ruby is over not telling stan, I love how that comes back throughout the show. there love is pure and true and something us mere mortals can only aspire to. i still think annie’s stuff with greg is some of the best, most complicated material the show’s written for her character and the best parts of their relationship shine in this ep (she loves his old man pajamas and he loves her eyebrows how am I not supposed to ship that????? how?????????)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30/01/2021 (Wellerman, Fredo, Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish & ROSALÍA)

I’ve never been more thankful for a song being this big – “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo spends a third week at #1, blocking “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #2. Thank God. Anyway, we’ve got 10 new arrivals so let’s cut the chit-chat and start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Of course, after this brief rundown we always do. Thankfully, the site actually updated last week, so I can go through this as routinely as possible. For drop-outs, it’s a lot of recent new arrivals falling out either off the debut or a few weeks after – most of them being pretty crap – but we do have some notable drop-outs, like “Forever Young” by Becky Hill, “Plugged In Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, “pov” by Ariana Grande, “Love is a Compass” by Griff, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit and Mabel featuring 24kGoldn, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, and finally, “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. Now to move onto the chart proper, we do have some movement to discuss. Firstly, we have some fallers, those being “Dynamite” by BTS at #32, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #39, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #41, “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo at #43 off of the return, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #46, “Best Friend” by Saweetie featuring Doja Cat at #47, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #51, “Wellerman” by the Longest Johns practically being replaced at #52 (We’ll discuss this more later), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #53, “Notorious” by Bugzy Malone and Chip at #55, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #60, “Bad Boy” by the late Juice WRLD and Young Thug unfortunately purging to #62, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #67, “Pinging (6 Figures)” by Central Cee crashing off of the debut to #72 and “Diamonds” by Sam Smith at #74, joining our two returning entries – which are just older songs getting another brief pick-up at the bottom of the charts. Those are “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong and “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper at #75 and #73 respectively, by the way. Oh, and we also have “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #65, but I honestly can’t see that song going anywhere – and I really like it. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have any gains, however, as finally, we can see some rising hits trying to fill in the cracks, like both of Rudimental’s debuts from last week: “Be the One” with MORGAN, TIKE and Digga D is up to #58, whilst the incredibly worse single “Regardless” with RAYE is cracking into the top 40 at #40. Sigh, well, we do have some more promising gains, like... “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #38? “Friday” by Riton, Nightcrawlers and Musafa & Hypeman at #37 off of the debut? Okay, 2021 might end up being pretty rough, huh? Thankfully, we have a plentiful amount of new arrivals to waive any of my fears, so let’s just start with those.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “Overpriced” – M Huncho

Produced by Quincy Tellem

Oh, come on! Okay, so this is M Huncho, UK trao’s answer to the late MF DOOM, except without any of the lyrical complexity, storytelling abilities, genuine wit, charming sampling and production techniques, brilliant discography... he’s pretty much just a guy whose main gimmick is the mask, and it’s on this single cover too, seemingly in a museum. This song in particular is just one of these melodic trap cuts with wavy acoustic guitars blended with synths beyond recognition, topped off with odd bass mastering and a checked-out performance from M Huncho, who spends way too much time on his verses going “doo-doo-doo-doo-doo”, before the beat switches for a verse that fades out after like 20 seconds. What’s the point of any of this, honestly? It’s not awful – the bass does kind of knock – but I really don’t understand why this is here, or why M Huncho is a big name. It’s not even as good as AJ Tracey’s trap bangers and it’s not even as funny as D-Block Europe, which I’m surprised by, considering that he had his own stupid hit with “Pee Pee” around this time last year, and that song was actually good. Also, M Huncho, what do you think your fans get from you dissing them? If you’re going to brag about your “house by the lake” and then rap about how some unnamed individual “still lives at their mum’s in a council estate”, consider that a lot of your audience will still live with their parents in council housing or be surrounded by people who do. Someone who really came from poverty should know that this is classist and disrespectful to your own demographic. Yeah, this is worthless. Why’s this guy still charting? At least Young Adz knows how to write a hook.

#65 – “New Love” – Silk City and Ellie Goulding

Produced by Silk City and Picard Brothers

Okay, so we do have some energy on the chart – or at least half of the credited acts have. Silk City is a duo of producers, those being Diplo, a true weirdo in mainstream EDM who’s honestly kind of fascinating and oftentimes a fluke genius (especially in its work in Major Lazer and Jack U with Skrillex), and Mark Ronson, one of the greatest producers of the 21st century so far, probably most known for “Uptown Funk!”. These guys did have a hit together with Dua Lipa in 2018 in the form of “Electricity”, but it’s been a while and I’m interested to see how they work with the complete non-presence that is Ellie Goulding. It’s with some level of disappointment that I say that she’s not a non-presence here, as this is otherwise a pretty neat house tune with some excellent 90s keys and a deep-house groove I think is pretty fun. The strings in the pre-chorus are great and build-up to a fantastic chorus... or at least the instrumental is fantastic, because Goulding is a waste here, mixed way too high and honestly just faltering her vocals here. She sounds awkward through multi-tracking and even worse without it, as she clearly goes for a rough swagger that cannot work with her light, almost fairy-like voice she’s relied on much of her career. The intricacies of this production are really admirable, but Goulding was clearly an afterthought. With a real diva on vocals, or honestly just a sample of a soul or diva house track, this could be excellent. As it is, I’m bored. Next.

#63 – “Typhoons” – Royal Blood

Produced by Royal Blood

Oh, okay. Well, this is a pleasant surprise. Royal Blood are an English garage rock duo that rock pretty hard, and don’t go for anything else beyond that, which to me is a breath of fresh air, and, yeah, this is good. Is it as good as their debut? Of course not, their biggest hit “Figure it Out” is still incredible, and this one goes for a more synthesized 70s feel, even accentuated by disco keys in the pre-chorus. The riffs are still here though, as that main guitar line is pretty awesome. I see this as a mix of garage rock revival bands from the 2000s like the White Stripes, as well as some stoner-adjacent bands like Queens of the Stone Age, with a more classic hard-rock groove and Mike Kerr’s signature yelp, and it works for what it is, so I’m excited for that upcoming single. Nothing’s particularly impressive here, but I’ll definitely go for this over the rest of what we have charting, so I’m not complaining. This is good, you should check these guys out, even if they tend to be a bit derivative. That tense bridge with the looming background vocals and intensifying riff is genuinely epic, by the way, even if there isn’t much more of a pay-off behind just... the chorus again, which ends up rendering as flat as a result. Regardless, it’s a good break from the norm – which for a chart week like this, I’m especially glad is here.

#61 – “Your Love (9PM)” – ATB, Topic and A75

Produced by ATB, Topic and Rudi Dittmann

German DJ ATB was showing his girlfriend his new recording studio when he got carried away with a single guitar sound and made a song out of it, “9PM (Till I Come)”, named after the time the track was finished. Later on, he took the track and added some whispered vocals from Spanish model Yolanda Riviera. This happened in 1999, by the way, when this song was released to great success in Europe, leading to a hilariously dated album cover but still a UK #1. The song is honestly kind of bad, relying on a pretty typical house groove, ugly MIDI guitars and that seductive vocal loop. Regardless, since 90s nostalgia has come way too fast, Topic has remixed the track with A75, a collaboration we’ve seen before on “Breaking Me” from last year, which sucked. To be fair, the original song is pretty empty, so I’m interested to hear A75 add some vocals... and he just sounds pained over a deep-house rip of the original. The ugly MIDI melody stays, just now it’s drowned out and even more synthesized – this is the guitar sound you liked so much? I hope she left you. Let’s move on.

#59 – “My Head & My Heart” – Ava Max

Produced by Jonas Blue, Earwulf and Cirkut

Speaking of being bored, here’s pop singer Ava Max, with a new lead single from the deluxe edition of her debut studio album, Heaven & Hell. This one’s produced by Jonas Blue, which, alongside a redundant “Jonas Blue remix”, is probably why it’s charting. What’s sad is it’s not really very good, as the vocals are over-processed over fake hand-claps and clipping mixes that make those plastic synths sound even worse. Admittedly, I like the rubbery future bass-esque bass line here, but that’s really as far as my appreciation for this goes, as the writing is non-existent, and Ava Max is barely here. It’s honestly really similar to “New Love”, except this one’s not even as interesting as that track, going for an exhaustingly tired house-pop style that while she is a natural fit for, it does make the 2000s synth-pop she started with sound inspired in comparison. Oh, and the “Jonas Blue remix” is practically a glorified bass-boost that makes this sound even uglier, so, yeah, skip this.

#42 – “Apricots” – Bicep

Produced by Bicep

Bicep is a Northern Irish electronic duo from Belfast, and this is an instrumental from their most recent album, Isles, which clearly must have stood out enough for it to debut at #42. I can understand why too, as that sample from Hugh Tracey’s African music recordings, particularly the vocal sample used, is really infectious and interesting. I don’t think everything surrounding it is enough to really make it less annoying, as it running through nearly the entirety of a four-minute track makes this sample lose its lustre too quickly. It runs its course far before the song has the chance to build up into a house track, with that sample crushing everything that isn’t the percussion in the mix anyway. The keys are really cool, and I can’t fault the strings and ambiance that keeps the song building up for as long as it does. It also takes a sample from a Bulgarian folk choir, which they paralleled to the Celtic folk they grew up hearing, and honestly, this is just a cool blending of global music rather than an actually good song, ending with me respecting this more than actually enjoying it. The synths by the end sound fantastic as does the Bulgarian chanting, but it doesn’t really have a great climax or drop to make the build-up worth it, defaulting to a generic house groove by the end that fades out before it can have any real impact. So, yeah, this isn’t bad, but feels like a waste of some really great ideas. I guess I can say that “Northern Irish remix of an English ethnomusicologist’s recordings of African music that also samples a Bulgarian folk tune” isn’t quite as much of a developed idea as “Kazakh remix of an American rapper of Guyanese descent’s trap song in a Brazilian house style released on a Russian record label”.

#35 – “Lo Vas A Olvidar” – Billie Eilish and ROSALÍA

Produced by FINNEAS

It’s not often that songs in non-English languages chart in the UK. Whilst in the US, Latin music is such a force that it’ll launch hits for many Spanish-speaking artists, this isn’t the case in decidedly smaller Britain, where a still multicultural society tends to produce art that is always in English. To be fair, we don’t have a place like Puerto Rico, and the few songs I’ve talked about this year that have been in a different language... well, basically the one song I can remember off the top of my head, was in a Nigerian Creole language. So, why’s a Spanish song by Spanish artist ROSALÍA charting so high? Well, it’s also a Billie Eilish song, and it’s also from the HBO teen drama Euphoria. Yeah, a teen drama makes a lot of sense for Eilish to soundtrack. This has been teased since 2019, and is actually ROSALÍA’s first song to chart here in the UK, so is it any good? Well, yeah, actually, it is. Both Eilish and ROSALÍA have excellent whispery tones that complement FINNEAS’ muted, ambient production perfectly, and their harmonisation sounds great, with both singing in Spanish here for the most part. That chorus is pretty janky, though, and I don’t really see the point in the Auto-Tuned interludes, even if they both sound great playing off of each other with a lot of tuning in the outro. This is pretty minimal and dare I say awkward, kind of eerie, so I don’t see it sticking around, but as a longing break-up track, they both sell it well. Next.

#28 – “Skin” – Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by Ryan McMahon

Joshua Bassett’s response flopped immensely, meaning that now it’s Sabrina Carpenter’s time to shine, because if it’s anything she gets out of this Disney love triangle, it’s a hit song, and people clearly want to hear more from the women than they do from Josh. Telling. Now I’m not one to follow Disney teen drama because this is all a marketing gimmick. I mean, the songs dropped every Friday so anyone who can’t see through this is either blind or... a child, and considering the audience, that second one is more likely, which is fine. Popular music is, ultimately, in the hands of teenagers and record executives, and all of these break-up response diss track... things, tend to feed into both hands, whilst also giving these talented young actors a bigger break. This is Carpenter’s first charting hit in the UK, after all. The song is decidedly worse than “drivers license” though, and by a lot, as the mixing here isn’t even competent, as Carpenter’s voice clips through these ugly pianos, worsened by how her voice does not sound great here at all, as she struggles through that terrible chorus. She may say that this isn’t a response to Rodrigo, but given the lyrics and how quickly this rushed release was put out, are we really supposed to believe that? The percussion here is gross as well, drowned in bad reverb that makes this just sound grey and dull. The strings building up to a climax are barely there, and when they are, they sound like they’re elevating a really garbage performance from Carpenter, who can barely keep up. This is supposed to be a ballad yet it sounds so stiff and controlled, meaning that Carpenter trying to let loose on the vocals makes this awkward and painful. I’m sorry, but this is really bad, and I hope it doesn’t stick around. Thankfully, I don’t see that happening.

#20 – “Back to Basics” – Fredo

Produced by Dave

Lil Chocolate Frog’s got a new record out this week that I’ve yet to hear, and this is the lead single, produced by his long-time friend and collaborator, Dave – who’s awesome. I’ve typically been less kind to his mate Fredo but honestly, his ever so slightly off-kilter style has grown on me too, and this song is a pretty good introduction to that. It’s one verse over rattling trap hi-hats and a really eerie vocal sample, and Fredo flows casually and smoothly over the beat, in his typical careless, just barely there style, which works well over a pretty subtle beat like this. Fredo’s lyrics are pretty interesting here too, as amidst flexing and gun-play, he has some pretty funny lines, although far from Dave’s wordplay, rather relying on fun one-liners where he says he’s “kind of Christian”, doing revision on drug trafficking, will run for mayor, and because of how much of the gang violence is sadly amongst ethnic minorities, he himself is racially profiling his “opps”. One line near the end of the track actually made me laugh, when he says he counts up twenties while eating porridge. It’s not funny on paper, sure, but the delivery is gold. He shows more character here than he has since “Funky Friday”, also with Dave, so I’m pretty excited to hear this record, which Dave actually executively produced. It’s also got the late Pop Smoke on a track with Young Adz, so at least I’ll let out more of those laughs. This lead single is pretty good though, and I can see it going top 10 next week with the album boost.

#3 – “Wellerman – Sea Shanty” (220 KID x Billen Ted Remix) – Nathan Evans

Produced by Saltwaves, Billen Ted and 220 KID

Last week, the sea shanty “Wellerman” charted as a cover by the Longest Johns. It’s a fine acapella cover, and this version, by Nathan Evans, was originally similarly acapella, except for the tap of a table as percussion to keep time. This version got even more viral on British TikTok, and if I recall correctly, he quit his job to be signed by Polydor, which is pretty scummy on Polydor’s part. I mean, you know this guy won’t have any more hits. Regardless, this version debuted at #3 thanks to a remix by DJs 220 KID and Billen Ted, three English producers. According to their Spotify duo, Billen Ted used to be a death metal band of all things but then transitioned into writing for dance-pop tunes, and have worked with 220 KID, even if this is technically only their second single. This remix is actually pretty cool to be honest, as it takes the original track and adds some needed energy, mostly through this generic 90s house beat and some admittedly really nice pianos. It’s nothing special, and I would usually criticise something this generic, but the song’s not even two minutes and it’s a pretty inoffensive remix that genuinely adds to the original song through that brilliant flip of the original hook melody in the drop, so I can’t complain. This won’t last, but I’m not mad that it’s here.

Conclusion

I’m actually somewhat pleased with this chart week, which I wasn’t expecting initially, as you can probably tell from my above cynicism. Regardless, we’ve got some variety here (though I don’t see much of it sticking) and I’ll give Best of the Week to Royal Blood for “Typhoons”, with a tied Honourable Mention for “Back to Basics” by Fredo, and, God damn it, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted. Shut up, it’s fun! Worst of the Week will probably go to Sabrina Carpenter’s “Skin”, with a Dishonourable Mention for the complete lack of effort that is M Huncho’s “Overpriced”, just being mildly offensive if anything. Here’s our top 10:

For next week, I mean, a girl can hope for some Weezer, but it’s more likely that we’ll be met with a Fredo album bomb and some scattered efforts from that middling Lil Durk deluxe edition. For now though, you can follow me @cactusinthebank for more ramblings and thanks for reading. I’ll see you next week.

[randomguywithwords]

Thanks For The Assist: Chapter 3 (Itsuka X Neito Story)

AO3 Link: Here

Chapters: 1, 2 

Chapter 3: First Meetings

–––––––––

A fresh start. 

A lot of people like to say that, do they not, usually on their first day at a new school, a new job, whatever. These new people didn’t know who you were, after all. It bestowed a rare opportunity to change yourself in a way that people who did know you would find strange. 

In other words, taking off one mask and donning another. 

How many masks had he worn in middle school alone? One for his teachers, one for his classmates, one for friends he didn’t consider friends. He was sure the feeling was mutual. Perhaps the shape of the masks were different for each one to cater to what they wanted to see, but they shared the same colour – the colour of the background. Like a chameleon, he fit in. For four years, all he did was fit in. 

He hated nearly everything about that life he had lived in supplication. He had donated his old uniforms to his school in the same week he had graduated. It had no place in his wardrobe. 

The new uniform was unexpectedly comfortable despite the formality and prestige of it all. It was cliche, but he felt a tad prideful by simply wearing it. Everyone who saw it knew he was: a student of U.A, the grandest hero school in Japan boasting standards as high as the hill on which it was built. 

Was this uniform going to be donated as well when the three years were up? Another three years spent in silence, in the background, while the main characters paraded themselves onstage?

He didn’t want history to repeat. It could not repeat. 

He looked at himself a last time in the mirror, before he left his room. Try not to think about it.

————

He slid open the classroom door to see two students standing up, mid-conversation. One of them was sporting a recognisable orange ponytail. His lips formed a tiny smile. Guess I won that toss. 

She turned around to see who had entered, and her face lit up as well. She smiled and waved, while the green-haired girl that she was talking to looked to see who he was. 

He plopped his bag on a random desk and walked up to them with a curt greeting. She stuck her hand out for a high five, which he took. 

“Nice, guess we are classmates.” Kendo said. 

“You guys know each other?” The other girl’s eyes flickered between the two.  

“Ah, sorry. Tokage, Monoma. Monoma, Tokage. We met during the entrance exam.” 

“Pleased to meet you.” Monoma offered his hand. 

Tokage didn’t seem to move an inch, and he was about to be act affronted when he saw Tokage’s hand detach from her arm and shake his. He took a step back as the girl giggled. 

“Setsuna Tokage. Sorry, just a habit of mine when meeting new people.” Her hand floated in the air, waving, before flying back to reattach itself to her. 

Kendo was grinning as she glanced at Neito with a knowing look. 

“I see.” Monoma gave a grin of his own as the familiarity of his quirk registering hers flowed through his hands. He felt a strange airy sensation as his left hand popped off his body and gave a wave back. 

“What the hell?” Setsuna scrambled back, pressing up against the wall. Itsuka barked out a laugh. “You have a similar quirk?” 

Monoma reattached his limb, which took more effort than he thought it would. “Nah, my quirk copies others.”

“It got me the first time too,” Kendo said. 

“That’s sick,” Setsuna gaped. 

The door slid open again, and the three turned to see an imposing figure in the doorway wearing a crimson suit. 

“Only three of you?” He counted the number of people in the room. “That’s disappointing.” He strode to the centre of the room while the trio looked at each other with wide eyes, none of them willing to speak to the stranger. Luckily, as though he had read their minds, the man introduced himself. 

“I’m Vlad King, your homeroom teacher. What are your names?” 

Itsuka spoke up first. “I’m Itsuka Kendo, sensei.”

“Setsuna Tokage.” 

Vlad King appraised her with a look as he heard her name. “Recommendations student, huh? I look forward to seeing what you’ll do later.”

Itsuka and Neito looked at her incredulously, but Setsuna only returned a sheepish grin. “Wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

“And you, young man?”

“Neito Monoma, sir.” 

Vlad King gave a gruff nod. “Take your seats first. I don’t mind you guys talking. We’ll start when everyone is here.”

As Monoma took his place, a thought crossed his mind about the exchange between Tokage and the teacher. What did he mean, later?

––––––

Later turned out to be a test, on the very first day of school. Brilliant.

At least Vlad King was nice enough to allow them to attend the opening ceremony, which according to Tokage, the other hero class skipped because their homeroom teacher didn’t think it was “rational”. 

The ceremony was nice. Principal Nezu had given a speech to welcome the newcomers as well as the returning seniors. He introduced the teachers for the various subjects aside from heroics, aside from Aizawa-sensei whom Monoma presumed was Class 1A’s homeroom teacher. But the main event was heralded with a familiar booming laugh that sent the school into a craze, as All Might himself was announced to be joining the school as a heroics teacher. 

Monoma should have felt more enthusiasm or described it as such, but he somewhat expected it, given how Kendo told him All Might had sent the welcome letter. Furthermore, he had no wish to be a part of the group of people acting like monkeys. It seemed that U.A was just like any other school when it came to the maturity of its students. So much for prestige. 

Another reason he was narrating this with less energy than he should have, when the number one hero was teaching him, was what came after the welcome ceremony. The Quirk Apprehension Test. 

In short, Monoma performed like a fish flopping on land. Not that he wasn’t trying. Itsuka gladly let him borrow her quirk for the Softball Throw and Grip Strength stations, which he appreciated, but a lot of his classmates’ quirks just didn’t seem appropriate for the other six, or they were quirks he couldn’t use, or too complex to use, like Tokage’s. 

As he watched her split herself up and fly across the gym – a swarm of green, disproportionately sized bees – he knew he had no chance to replicate that much skill with her quirk. Detaching his hand earlier was a party trick that demanded enough concentration. It was no wonder she was admitted on recommendations.

Hence, he found himself at the mercy of his frail, untrained body, which was partially his fault anyway. He was heaving for air by the time the last station – the Long Distance Run, concluded. Meanwhile, he saw how a lot of his classmates seemed somewhat unfazed. They looked tired, but not as much as him. Seeing this, he struggled to maintain his composure so as to not have himself pegged as the weak, scrawny kid on the very first day. 

Even though Vlad King concealed the results of the test, Neito could tell he was at the bottom for most of them. His classmates probably came to the same conclusion too. Great start. Thankfully, the first day of school was finished with that test, aside from a last piece of instruction to pick up their curriculum. 

But it wasn’t over for Neito, even as the school day ended with the students packing their bags in class before leaving. He was packing his when he looked up to see Itsuka. 

“Hey Monoma, you wanna come with us? We’re heading to the station.” Itsuka gestured to a group of classmates. How had she made so many friends? Neito had only talked to a couple throughout the day, and they were still basically acquaintances.

“Uh, you guys go ahead, I have somewhere to be, sorry.” Neito rubbed his hair, evading eye contact with Kendo. 

She seemed to take it well, or so it looked. He couldn’t decipher if she was disappointed, or indifferent, or actually amiable about it. Why would she be disappointed, she’s made other friends. You’re not that important.

“No problem, see you tomorrow!” She smiled gave a wave which Neito returned, and the group departed, leaving him with a bitterness inside. He wished he didn’t have to meet Nezu. 

Alone in the classroom, he turned off the lights and closed the door behind him. To Nezu’s we go.

––––––

“Ah, Mr Monoma, come in. Take a seat.” Nezu sipped on another cup of tea. Neito made himself comfortable on the leather seat in front of his desk. 

“I don’t want to hold you back. This meeting should take roughly ten minutes. Let’s start immediately.”

With Neito’s nod, Nezu began, “If I might inquire, what are your motivations in aspiring to be a hero?” 

“Um...same as everyone else. Helping others, keeping the peace, stuff like that.”

Nezu’s eye contact did not waver throughout Monoma’s answer. He wondered what the principal was thinking. He soon found out.

With the bluntness and force of a hammer, Nezu replied, “I see. I understand that this is our first time meeting in person, so it’s only natural that the lack of built rapport would affect your answer. If you would wish to tell me your full answer in the future, I would be very grateful. Thank you, nonetheless.”

Monoma shuddered in his seat, his ears heating up. Though Nezu didn’t seem like he meant to shame him. 

“Moving on, I trust that you are a mature young man, able to take my following comment with the apt amount of gracefulness.”

In a chirpy voice, Nezu delivered a sentence that rung like a death knell. “You did not, initially, pass our entrance exam.”

Two seconds passed, and in those two seconds a tidal wave of emotions and thoughts tore through Neito’s mind. Was he going to be expelled, and all of this was some sick joke? That wasn’t possible, right? It was illogical. What merit was there in humiliating him? 

“I – I see.” A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. Then he continued, when Nezu seemed to look at him with some expectancy. Was this a test? An interview to judge his worth as a U.A student? “But I’m here, so I – I assume you have a reason for that?” 

Nezu hummed, and Monoma wondered whether there was a scratch of approval in his voice. “Officially, and practically, students are given a score on their combat and rescue ability. Defeating the machines nets you points, but so does helping your opponents, like your peer Ms Kendo demonstrated in the fight.”

“That’s all well and good, but I suspect that you have criticised this grading system, in your mind at least, for its shallow and superficial awarding of points. And you would be correct. What’s to stop a candidate from stealing points from other candidates, or even intentionally harming others?” 

Monoma thought that was a rhetorical question, until a few seconds passed in silence that he realised Nezu was waiting for an answer. “Um, that would be a hero-like behaviour expected from all of us.”

With a nod, the principal continued, “Exactly. And that is the main criteria. Every action performed by each candidate has to be asked, ‘Was that what a hero would do?’ So now I turn to you to ask, Mr Monoma, were yours?” 

Heat rose to Monoma’s ears, a concoction of embarrassment and anger. So this is a discipline session now? 

No, he wants something else. He wants me to fight for my spot. 

“No, maybe not, but it’s as you said,” Neito said, straightening up in his chair. There was a glimmer in Nezu’s beady eyes as he did so, “My quirk’s unorthodox, so I have to do what I can. And perhaps it isn’t fitting to take my peers’ points, but if you were watching us all, through surveillance I assume, then wouldn’t you have spotted instances where I stole points? That means you could have simply denied me the points and awarded them to the other candidates anyway.”

Nezu grinned. “That is correct.”

“But I didn’t make the cut, with or without the stolen points, because you saw something else in me. If I didn’t pass the entrance exam, I passed your own examination to get in.”

“Hmm, a bold statement, Mr Monoma,” Nezu said, causing Neito to falter, “But I admire your audacity. You are partially correct. I’ve said in your letter that I saw an intelligence inside you that I felt had potential to be furthered in this school. You might not be at the standard now, but with my tutelage, you will reach it one day.”

“I’m sorry, your tutelage?”

“That’s correct.” Nezu passed him a piece of paper. “Just because I’m a principal doesn’t mean I’m not a teacher. I was just discouraged from doing so because students were...intimidated by my style. I hope you will think differently.”

“Of course.” Monoma did a quick scan of the contents before looking back up.

“It’s a new schedule, and an additional curriculum of my choosing. Think of it as supplementary lessons to make up for the gap between you and your peers, who have all passed the entrance exam. You’ve a lot to learn, Mr Monoma.” Nezu finished his tea and stared at him, eyes flashing. 

Neito swallowed. “I’ll do my best, sir.” 

“Oh, call me sensei from now on. That will be all, Mr Monoma, you may leave.”

Neito stood up and bowed. As he walked away, a question came to him. He turned back. 

“Sensei, am I allowed to disclose this to my classmates?”

“That will be at your discretion, I would not be affected by either outcome.”

Monoma nodded and left. 

–––––––

I am way too braindead to write a note or anything here. My A/N is on AO3. Hope you liked this chapter. I’m heading back to work zzz

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - BANANA FISH REVIEW: VOL 1, PART 3 - MY FAVORITE SCENE in Vol. 1 ?

Welcome back to in-dept gushing about all the greatness of Banana Fish!

Whew, this took forever. Ah, but I love it so much! I hope you do too!

Today is extra lovely, because today we meet our main monstrous villain, Dino Golzine! 

He is a glorious villain, just you wait. Oh, how I hate this man. 

Yes I’m aware he’s a fictional character, but I can’t help but remember there are too many actual people like him in real life. No seriously. There are too many. I try not to think about this fact too much, & you shouldn’t either. Ah, but remember!

There’s hundreds, no thousands, billions more good people.

(here’s a few)

Or at least, people trying to be good. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes they don’t.

People who are fighting people like Dino Golzine.

You can join them. And they’re the ones who’re going to win in the end & have the last laugh & final joy.

Not people like Dino Golzine.

*Speaking of Dino Golzine, there are not a lot of useful gifs of him. Why?

I need them to make fascinating blog posts for you. Someone with the skills snap to it, thanks.

Before we begin, please note, if you haven’t read this scene yet, or the back summary of Volume 1, please do that 1st. Otherwise you’ll be spoiled.

Summary: So. Ash, a clever & skillful gang leader in New York City in the 1980′s, has arrived at Dino’s mansion, demanding answers for why 2 of his gang members were out murdering a dude on Dino’s orders. Marvin, of all people, delivers a deliciously chilling line I gushed about last time:

“I’ve never seen you in the sunshine before.”

And finally Ash is let inside the mansion.

It occurs to me I’m not exactly sure where Dino Golzine’s mansion is. Except it’s outside of New York - there’s trees & grass - & Ash mentions it’s a long way for him to come out for a talk. A suburb place?

Not sure why I’m musing about this. Let’s continue.

Wait! Is this also the same mansion where we have the infamous dinner & the grenade launcher line? Or does Dino have more than 1 mansion? (He probably has more than one.) But I’m going to guess they’re the same. Moving on.

So, starting pg. 36, Dino’s bodyguards have the best mustaches.

(Not as epic as Hercule Poirot. But up there in epicness.)

Also 1 of the fabulously  mustached bodyguards is named Angie. Angie. No, I am not making this up (read pg. 40.) This is priceless. Also very 80’s. Stay classy, Banana Fish. (Which was written in the 80’s, remember.)

*I can’t spelled mustache, much less mustached, by the way.

Oh, & I try to keep my blog clean (if sometimes grim, bloody, & funny) but I must point out the joke Ash makes to the bodyguards in the top panel of page 36. “Groupies” is a special word for me, because it was lovingly explained to me by a friend in high school. By which I mean I was laughing so hard it hurt, & couldn’t stop for several minutes. Great memories!

Ah, & I’m intrigued by Ash’s words to the fabulously mustached bodyguards, 

“Relax . . . I just came to talk. Not pick a fight.” 

(Can’t you just tell Ash’s a teenager, ragging on grown-ups every chance he gets? And they all deserve it, by the way.)

But anyway, I’m so intrigued! Has Ash come in before wanting to pick a fight, or caused a fight, and over what? Also, Ash likes to tease the bodyguards about being overprotective. And it’s funny & I understand why he does it (trying to pretend he doesn’t care & isn’t bothered by them & hey, maybe he isn’t). But I will point out, being “over protective” is how bodyguards should be. It’s their job. Because you never know.

Anyway, 1 of the guards, who I’m going to call Angie because I’m not sure who’s who, discreetly knocks, in the middle panel pg. 36, to the door of Dino’s - Dining room? Breakfast room? (Dino’s rich enough to have both). Anyway, Dino is eating breakfast. This is important & I’ll explain why in a moment. 1st, I do want to critique this panel, because I think the star shape indicating the knock should’ve been bigger & higher up - it gets dominated by the speech bubble. Then again, it is a discreet knock. Dino says “come in” in classic bad guy fashion, and before he lets Ash in, Angie gives him such a look. (I can’t describe it, it’s great.)

This is roughly my response.

Finally we get to see Dino Golzine!

I hate this man, so much.

Note how the first panel of him, bottom of pg. 36 is disturbing - because we actually don’t see his face until the next page. Naturally, since he’s the main bad, we should be disturbed. Also note how he’s surrounded by signs of wealth - a butler / footman, fine dining, French windows open to green countryside, potted plants and soft rugs, and a pair of lovely double doors.

Otaku, She Wrote has a great analysis of this in the anime: 

https://otakushewrote.wordpress.com/2018/07/07/banana-fish-1-a-perfect-day-for-bananafish/

I love double doors. You go through them & always feel grand. Oh yes, and Dino Golzine is dressed in a classic fancy robe / dressing gown. Typical mob boss. Now, although we don’t see his face yet, Dino does speak. Right away, it’s a power play. Dino makes it clear he knows Ash & is familiar with him, can guess his actions: “I thought you might come.” This is a statement reminding Ash Dino has power over him. Yes, he concedes Ash came earlier than expected. But he was still expecting him.

*Please note Angie’s fabulous mustache on the top of panel of pg. 37.

Ash doesn’t reply, so Dino offers breakfast (another sign of how early it is.)

There actually weren’t any pancakes (that I saw), but I included this because it looked fancy (and delicious.) There was actually an egg, & either bacon or sausage. So it was actually like this:

But fancy. That’s from Howl’s Moving Castle, by the way.

Back to Banana Fish.

I’m guessing Ash got maybe 6-7 hours of sleep. No wonder he takes a nap later. (It was almost 1 in the morning when he finds the poor dead guy, as a time stamp helpfully tells us.)

(Another Howl’s Moving Castle gif. I’m distracted.)

Back to Banana Fish.

Ash refuses the offer of breakfast (I wouldn’t accept it either.) Not that I think the food is drugged or something (though I wouldn’t be surprised OR if Dino had done such a thing before). (Shudders) But it’s the principle of the thing. Don’t accept food / eat at a table with monsters. By which I mean people who are terrible & evil & have no remorse for all the pain they inflict on others.

Food & eating together is a sign of community practically everywhere in the world. (I assume?)

And Dino Golzine is most definitely Ash’s enemy. Despite them currently having an agreement.

So of course, Ash refuses the offer of food. Just wait until their fight starts. It’s beautiful. There are conversations that are basically exchanges of epic threats & insults. I love it.

And now I’m wondering what Ash ate for breakfast. Probably not much? Food is important, especially breakfast! It’s basically the fuel you start the day with. (says the person who usually dashes off with toast & a granola bar & coffee.) What do you usually eat in the morning? I’m always curious.

OR What is your favorite breakfast?

(I’m going to fall on the Breakfast Hill, but I love the inclusion of sign language here in The Dragon Prince.)

Anyway, back to Banana Fish. Dino brags about how his food comes from a farm in Surry, wherever that is. 

I want to say Surry, England for some reason (probably because it sounds posh) but that can’t be right. Can it? So, after bragging, Dino asks if Ash is sure he doesn’t want to eat. Ash responds, “I didn’t come all the way out here to eat.”

And the bodyguard I’ll name Toussaint (what a name, I like it but it’s strange) Toussaint gives Angie such a look behind Ash’s back. You can practically hear the mental sigh, followed by “kids.” Or maybe “teenagers.” (sigh)

The poor bodyguards. Also, for shame, Dino does not finish his breakfast. He wastes food! After bragging about it and everything! There was still a whole egg on it! And bacon! (I think). Wasteful. (Eggs are really good for you & easy to make!) This man . . . Even in the small things, I can’t stand him . . .

Of course, I will admit it is uncomfortable eating when no one else is and they’re standing right there waiting for you to finish. Dino would lose power in that exchange. So that’s probably why he didn’t finish. But still. Oh yes, and please note, Dino is sitting at a table (whose legs I don’t trust, they look so delicate) while Ash is standing. This changes, and that’s important. Note their positions before Ash leaves at the end of their conversation. This whole scene, in fact, is fascinating. Especially when you compare it to other conversations Ash & Dino have later. Here, as you’ll soon realize, Dino is the one with the power. Ash goes to him demanding answers. Meaning, Dino is the one with knowledge & the power to give it or refuse. Yes, Ash quips and mouths off, but it’s clear he’s the one on defense.

Of course, given Ash’s smarts, one could argue his “powerlessness” here is at least partly an act & also how Ash survives. But not, I’d argue, entirely. Dino Golzine does hold a tremendous amount of power over Ash. Like it or not, it’s simply a fact.

Also of note is the parent-teenager vibes in the conversation. Which makes partial sense, as Ash is, or was (?) Dino’s heir (remember the synopsis on the back of the volume). Except remember, it also mentions Ash was Dino’s “sex toy.” (shudders)

Their relationship is all amounts of complex, confusing, & disturbing, is what I’m saying. (I’m so confused & disturbed). Now on to the actual conversation! (the dialog is great, by the way.)

At the bottom of pg.37 we finally see Dino’s face / ugly mug, & he makes a very resigned parent comment & expression, “I’ve told you before. Keep your hands out of your pockets when you talk to me.” Ash responds with classic teenage mulish silence, complete with glaring.

Dino orders his bodyguards to take it off him, but Ash is like fine, & gives this challenging statement (particularly bold given their history) “You can’t relax until you’ve completely stripped me.” (This is such a Femme Fatale statement.)

(I have yet to watch Double Indemnity yet, but oh, I really want to.)

Back to Banana Fish. Dino just laughs Ash’s comment off however, and moves the conversation to the den (another power play.)

Laughing at a challenging statement & ignoring it also demeans it.

(Both Hiei & Kurama are laughing at something Yusuke said in YuYuHakusho, which if you haven’t watched / read, please do. It’s hillarious & has a lot of heart.)

A lot like Banana Fish.

*Note: This is why, if someone kidnaps you, fight for your life if they try to take you to a different location. Because 9 times out of 10, it will not end well for you.

Also, as shown above, it’s actually extremely hard to shove somebody into a car / trunk, so you can sleep well tonight.

There’s 2 grown dudes trying to shove a teenager (probably underfed) into a car & they are having difficulties. I’m just waiting for red haired dude to get his eyes jabbed, & dark haired dude is going to get bit or a head butt in the face. ( I haven’t gotten to a part where anyone is trying to kidnap Ash yet, so you’re as spoiled &, I hope, intrigued as I am.)

But back to Volume 1.

In the den, Dino offers Ash a drink (another sign of friendship, like food, especially since it’s a alcoholic drink).

*It makes sense. After all, being drunk, or even tipsy is to also be vulnerable. Thus, if you’re wise, only drink with friends & family, or at least people who you trust.

Or drink alone. Nothing wrong with that either.

Ash refuses the offer, (as any decent person would) and mocks it, calling it “booze” (scoring a point in the power play) but Dino hands him the drink anyway. 

Dino also brags about, “my newest concoction.” Otaku, She Wrote mocks this in her review of the same scene in the anime, it’s great. (Dino deserves to be mocked. He deserves everything shameful & terrible. I really do despise him.)

(Not quite enough glare & disgust, but it’s the best gif I could find.)

Note how often even in this single scene Dino continually ignores or overrides Ash’s refusals or flat out “no’s”. It’s a clear sign of just how little respect he has for Ash (also creepy). An excellent touch done by the mangaka, Akimi Yoshida.

Note: fancy drinks will come up again in another conversation between them, in which Dino asks if Ash remembers training that Dino gave him. This man never stops with the reminders of power. Then again, he is a mob boss.

(I’m sure Dino would respond “yes” to this offer. Dino even pets a cat later too! I just wanted to point that out.) I’m sure his history is fascinating (and bloody).

Ash ignores the drink & gets down to business, demanding to know why Dino sent his / Ash’s gang members to kill the mysterious banana fish dude.

To be clear: A grown man sent teenagers to kill a man. For money.

Dino reminds Ash he calls the shots (literally, in this case): “. . . Any why I didn’t tell you? I wouldn’t think it necessary to trouble you with a matter so trivial.” This is a very condescending statement. Again, Dino speaks like a parent to a child. Or a man to a lady, “Don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

Except this “trivial” matter Dino speaks of is murdering a dude.

(Yes, he deserves a burned hand, & a lot more.) Ash calls him out on this & is upset, as any decent person would. He smacks the table (top of pg. 40). Great emphasis on the line work, except the drink sorta appears to merge with Ash’s hand. (Whoops.)

 Dino’s bodyguards burst in, as good bodyguards would, concerned by the shattering glass.

In yet another power display, Dino dismisses them, claiming it’s nothing and cooly tells Ash to calm down.

(Not exactly like this, but you get the gist. Also, I need to watch Koroko no Basket.) (Adds to never-ending list of anime & manga)

Dino does make a quick apology for upsetting Ash, but one without weight, saying he doesn’t take Ash’s position as a gang leader “lightly.” This sounds respectful, but I think it’s actually a subtle reminder Ash is where he is because of Dino. Ash’s reaction (top of pg.41) highlights this. He slumps back on the couch. 

(just look at Ash’s defeated pose. And Dino hasn’t done anything but talk.

He’s like the bad guy in the 1st book of the Sharing Knife series by Lois Bujold, which you should seriously check out, it’s great.)

Anyway, Ash sags at Dino’s words, because the point worked: he remembers how much power Dino has over him. 

He stops arguing, though still upset. Oh yeah, he keeps talking, fiercely, but you can hear the uselessness in his voice (or imagine it, if you’re reading the manga), “We had an agreement. You promised not to use my boys to kill!” On my re-read of this I was like, “Oh sweetie, you’re talking to a mob boss. What were you expecting?”

(the tea, or in this case, coffee, is always poisoned, by the way. Or drugged. And probably tastes bad too, because bad people have no taste. Or skill. Unless they’re the lead villain. In which case, at least you can enjoy your cup of poisoned tea or coffee before you die or are otherwise horribly inconvenienced.)

But, Ash does not accept the wine glass in this case, which has already been spilled & smashed, so lets continue.

“You promised not to use my boys to kill!” Ash to Dino This almost sounds remarkably naive compared to the smart, street-wise Ash later on. Except it also reflects comments later on in this volume, how the teenage gangs have an honor system (and consider themselves morally superior to the grown-ups. Ah, I love it.)

(this is so me. Also, Kuwabara’s cat is the cutest anime cat I can think of in a quick 5 seconds.)

*YuYu Hakusho is also a show where the heroes have to fight unfair, powerful, & dishonerable grown-ups. It’s also rip roaring funny. Yusuke & Ash would probably get along, while Eiji & Kurama would definitely be friends. Ash would be friends with Kurama too. I’m not sure how he’d respond to Hiei or Kuwabara though . . . I love both shows so much.

*Random Note: For some reason I’m reminded of deal Lando makes with Darth Vader in the Empire Strikes Back. There, it’s also clear that Vader has all the power. “Pray I do not alter it any further.”

Dino usurps Ash’s power again, negating the agreement by insisting “the circumstances were extraordinary” & the man “wasn’t a member of the syndicate” which I assume is part of their agreement, a.k.a., no asking members of Ash’s gang to take out people in the mob. I am now highly curious as to when they came to this agreement, & when & how, but alas, no details yet. Again, Dino trivializes the assignment, calling murdering a person:

“a very tiny mouse that wanted stepping.” Brrr.

*This is from Mrs. Frisby & the Rats of Nimh, which is also based on a great book. I always think fondly of mice because of this. Also due to Redwall.

Here, Dino is clearly trying to play it off as nothing (which to him it partly is, he has no qualms about murdering people) but also because he wants Ash to leave the matter alone. So he also expresses surprise Ash even bothered to learn about it. Note at this point Ash is sitting on a couch & Dino is pacing or standing near him. Like this: 

*I know I used this gif before, but like I said, the gifs are few.

The power dynamic is obvious. Again, props to the mangaka. It would’ve been easy to have them both sitting or standing, but here the power Dino has is obvious in their mere positions. After Ash mentions he noticed the 2 gang members were acting suspicious, Dino praises him for being smart. Again, like a parent praising a child. Dino continues, saying Ash is too smart to be a mere gang leader and makes this statement, while placing his hand on Ash’s shoulder, “I do wish you’d put that right hand of yours to work for me.”

The reader already knows Ash is dangerous with a gun (recall the scene with his 2 gang members earlier) & this echos that. 

Still, the double meaning of the statement is obvious, especially when you remember the synopsis on the back of the volume.

And if you don’t know what it means, I say it’s not important & disgusting. More power to you for not knowing.

I am curious as to how Ash escaped that & got free to have the more respectful role of gang leader. Note, it’s also clear from their talk Dino & Ash have had some falling out, or at least distancing (since Ash became a gang leader, maybe? I really want to know!)

Also, based on the rest of the conversation, you can tell Ash isn’t just one of the no doubt numerous gang leaders Dino knows, uses, & supports.

The synopsis on the back cover says Ash was brought up as “Dino’s heir” but it’s clear he rejected that path.I really want to know why & what caused him to change. And what happened. How did Dino notice him the first place? Was it pure chance, or did Ash do it on purpose, to survive?

Anyway, Dino asks if Ash “would put that right hand to work for him”.

Ash responds to Dino’s disgusting offer with a great quip, “Is that a joke, or have you actually gone senile?”

Reminding Dino of his age (who’s like 50? even Google isn’t sure) complete with a mocking grin too.

Score for Ash!

Except not when you remember Dino’s creepy vibes / words all through this conversation, especially at the end.

And I must remind you, dear reader, Ash is 17/18. Meaning, there’s at least a

30 year gap between their ages.

And there’s nothing wrong with age gaps in relationships, romantic or not.

I like the Sharing Knife series, for example. Sailor Moon & Tuxedo Mask, 

Tohru’s parents in Fruits Basket, etc. Those have age gaps, but they’re good.

What’s wrong here is Ash & Dino’s relationship is abuse, no matter how you slice it. Their’s is in no way, shape, or form one of mutual respect, care, or even basic agreement or attraction by both.

Ash & Dino’s relationship never was & never will be healthy or good for either one of them (unless something stunning happens that I haven’t gotten to yet. I mean, people do change, even monstrous ones.)

Still, even in this 1st scene, it’s clear their relationship is bad. Dino holds all the power & is determined to keep it. There‘s no mutual respect or care between them, no matter how Dino tries to convince himself otherwise. Only dominance, fighting quips, & words wielded like weapons. Dino doesn’t care about what Ash wants - Dino just wants to use him.

Ash, in turn, has only used what Dino has given & taught him in order to survive. He never wants or cares about Dino’s attention, & makes this very clear even in his littlest actions.

Remember. He didn’t come to Dino’s mansion because he wanted to. It was for information only, and quick as he can, he leaves.

Now, back to the conversation. Dino responds to the age zinger by reminding Ash he watched Ash grow up & helped train him, taught him all he knows, (I’m smarter & older than you).

He also reminds Ash of previous weakness, “You used to cry over every assignment I gave you.”

(I told you Dino’s play for power never stops.)

The reader can assume those assignments were also murdering people, just as Dino casually ordered Ash’s 2 gang members to do. Brrr. It also reminds Ash of the power Dino has over him, training him.

*Which means, since Ash is a badass fighter, Dino is too. I mean, he is a mob boss after all. And he’s not so old he can’t still be in good shape.

I bet you Dino’s good with a gun. Ash quips it off, “I’ve got a bad memory” but it’s a feeble jab & Dino doesn’t relent, “There’s something you must never forget . . . It was I who took you in.” Dino has the power here & he’s determined to make Ash remember it again. I took you in. Raised you. Trained you. Made you everything you are today. I own you. I know you. Brrr. It’s so creepy & controlling.

And it’s all done with words. Dino actually hasn’t done anything yet (apart from hinted history. Just you wait.) Poor Ash. Even without knowing the specifics of Ash’s & Dino’s relationship, it’s clear Dino has some twisted hold over Ash. Whew. I’m exhausted just reviewing this scene. And we’re not done yet. Dino is just so - overwhelming. As a good villain should be. Banana Fish. I love it.

So. After that chilling reminder of how much power he has over Ash, Dino lightens the mood a bit - note how often he directs the conversation.

He asks, jokingly, if Ash has a girlfriend - while also pointing out he keeps tabs on Ash’s spending & has noticed he’s been spending more lately. Yet another sign of his power (over Ash.) This man never stops, not even with jokes (no wonder he’s a mob boss.) Fight him, Ash!

And Ash does. He snaps, “None of your business!” I must note, I cannot lie, Ash looks cute & angry in this panel (middle of pg. 43.) Also Dino’s knowing look in the panel next to it is all sorts of creepy. Have I mentioned art in Banana Fish is good? Because it is. Dino puts his hand around Ash’s throat in a very intimate manner (your throat is very vulnerable, as I’m sure you’re all aware). I will note the art here makes the gesture look very odd. It looks less a tender gesture & more like also a choke, or the threat of one. But maybe that’s the point? Dino’s also standing while Ash is still sitting on the couch, by the way. Dino says, I imagine quite softly, “Don’t forget me. You know I love you, sweetheart.”

Now, taken out of context, this sounds like a line said to a lover. Or even a parent to a child. But it’s clearly not. First, Ash’s expression in the bottom panel has none of the delight or relaxation such a line should make. He looks - resigned? Uneasy? Distant?

This is why I (truly) love manga. Because expressions can be read in so many ways. Regardless, it’s clear Ash is not happy or pleased by this (supposedly) endearing statement. He looks like he’s remembering things he’d rather forget, and resigned to Dino touching him. Resigned, as in, I have no choice, I can’t brush him off. All the red flags & sirens should be wailing & waving in your mind.

They’re wailing in mine. Even if Dino meant that as a parent / mentor (mentor hah! I mean, teacher), it’s still messed up.

Because, as I hope I’ve made it clear while analyzing their conversation so far, it’s clear even if Dino himself believes these words (which he very well could) and yes, even if Ash believes Dino cares about him - It’s clearly not true. Dino’s actions make it obvious - he doesn’t respect Ash (much). He clearly, without doubt, doesn’t view Ash as an equal. Only someone to use, & discard at his leisure. And it’s hard, if not impossible to my mind, to care about or love someone who you don’t respect. Note: I don’t think Ash believes Dino’s words. And finally, the conversation is over. Whew, I need a cup of hot tea & some sunshine, that was awful & tiring. No wonder Ash takes a nap after this. The conversation is done, Ash is out, vest & all. He’s his mouthy teenage self again, quipping at the poor bodyguards, pg. 44, top panel.   “Thank you so much for your concern.” Ah, I love it. Most people would leave it there & move on, but I’m a suspicious individual with a dark imagination. Did the convo really end with Dino’s creepy “I love you, sweetheart” & Ash got up & left. OR was there more? After all, when Ash steps out, he’s wearing his vest again. Hands in his pockets, of course. A small defiance, but one nonetheless. Of course, he just grabbed it on his way out from the den to the - what do you call it? The breakfast room, let’s just call it that. The room where Dino wasted perfectly good food.

  I am not going to forget. Anyway, ignore my dark suspicions (I’m just concerned by Ash’s silence & his unease in that last panel.) Because Shorter is here!!! (pg.44)

*Shorter usually has purple hair, but I like this gif a lot. It’s shows how Shorter is great at talking over information with Ash.

His coat looks so comfy in the manga. Also I love the tiny heart next to his eye. Shorter is important - not the least because he shares one of the funniest scenes in Banana Fish with Ash later. I am so excited!

Also because next time will be some great stuff about teenage gangs (and how they’re better than the grown-ups) & we meet Skip!!! & Eiji!!! & Ibe!!!! Unless I gush too much 1st. Then it might the post after. There will be mystery, snark, & danger.

Until next time!

[theoscout]

Part 1 of 2

@bornoffireandwisdom

He kicked it again. It merely slumped to its side. The bitter cold had dampened his smell, but the stench of blood hung in his supersensitive nasals and throat like drenched wool. His grief having subsided, he began to work his fingers into its skull. He did not know why he did this. But the food always came easier when there was already a mark to pry open. Red ooze and pale, slushier parts caked his fingernails and sank their way into the crevices of wrinkles on his hands, highlighting them. He finally abandoned the idea of saving the cleanliness of at least one hand, lest the inexplicably precious trinket lost to him should appear again as miraculously as his food. His teeth stripping at the corpse's skin, the memory soon passed from his head.

*** The blizzard had calmed a while ago, but that did little to raise the temperature around them. Like the windscreen of a car on a cold day, Bertrum's line of sight was obscured behind the clouds of breath condensing every time he paused his unsteady march to regain his energy. "How far away till the next house?" "Not long now, it's up on that hill ahead." Lacie stopped beside him to lend him a hand. While they no longer faced the threat of screaming gales and biting frost, the snowstorm had brought with it another layer to the already deep drifts of snow, both on and off path. The city, before the fall, had always irritated him with its ceaseless barrage of lights and sound. Now there was nothing he wished for more than a brick path which had been swept clean of the smothering snow gathering there. "If he's not in this house either, I guess we can always check for supplies," Lacie offered hopefully. Too out of breath to seriously consider a reply, Bertrum nodded silently, then bent to brush away the particles crusting the fringes of his pants. Even if the walk wasn't an easy one, they could be grateful for being well protected.

Though kilometers of travel had proven unyielding of outcome, they pressed on. Searching the houses by now had become a routine, although finding one suitable for shelter was proving to be a different matter. As per basic outbreak survival protocols, most houses they found were locked and barred securely from the inside, their original occupants likely having fled, or worse. None of which were percieved to house any living creatures, aside from the occasional scuffle of sheltering rats and other scavengers fleeing from their attacks on the front door. If Grant isn't in this one, Bertrum thought with increasing cynicism, we're going home and waiting to find him instead. Still, there were still flickering dots of hope relighting with each house they visited. After all, how far could a young wounded zombie travel, especially in such weather conditions.

"Think it could be this one?" Bertrum raised his head from when he had been bending over wheezing, and made an attempt to straighten his posture. "Jesus christ, look at that door..." Something had torn the hinges off this one. From what details he could make out from afar, behind the snow caking its roof and piling against the walls it appeared to have withstood some severe neglect. Cavities in the snow drift indicated a smashed window, and long dead creeper vines were in the process of curling their way up the brick walls with faded grafetti. The damage could have been done before the apocalypse, yet even from a distance the lack of snow beyond the threshold compared to the drifts by the door gave away at its recentness. "I dunno Lacie," he began. "I can't tell if the door was locked or not, otherwise he wouldn't have found this way in. And he's not strong enough to break down a door that's been barred." At least he hoped* Grant wasn't strong enough. Lacie nodded in rejection of the alternative implication. The door was within distance for a more detailed examination. Bertrum ignored the ache in his legs and waded forward until he was able to lean one hand against the flaking, frosted over wall. Finally able to take at least some* pressure off his legs, he peered closely at this mess. "On second thoughts, this doesn't look like him. That's some pretty jagged edge in the piece we got here-" Lacie huffed as she pried a piece of the door from where snow had begun to bury it, "Sharp stuff is what makes the edge. Not hands." " Then I assume this was done by a roving survivor." Bertrum hid his breathless exhaustion with some difficulty. "Some angry nut this guy musta been. Put a bunch of holes in the centre for no reason, ice pick probably. Reckon it musta been loud enough to wake the dead, eh?" She chuckled sadly at her little quip, but abruptly Bertrum's gaze was fixed on something she could not see. Narrowing his eyes, he swiftly and firmly brought his finger to his lips and mouthed for silence. "What?" Lacie whispered. She raised her head, following his stare, backing out of the doorway for more accuracy in angle.

All but one of the windows were shattered, some with fractures looking as though they had been made by the rocks of many a roving vandal, others by the unfavorable weather and the constant change of the decaying house. But where glass remained, a creature would be likelier to seek shelter against the chill winds. She saw the results plastered against what was left intact.

Blood. Against the glass, almost floating in midair. Tiny flecks of blood crusted the bottom right corner of one upstairs window.

"Oh... oh no..."

Very slowly and deliberately, Bertrum laid a frail hand on the what remained of the door and pushed. It slid inwards without a creak, almost as if by miracle something had silenced its rusty hinges. He turned grimly back to Lacie, and they shared a nod. Carefully lifting their feet out of the snow, over the threshold as slowly as time could allow them, they pulled out their torches and turned them on. The only noise being the sigh of the dusk breeze and the near inaudible ruffle of their own clothes per movement. And upstairs, there came the faintest of rustling. Time seemed to hang suspended in the still air, no longer as musty or stale as an enclosed house would bring.

And as their eyes scanned the floor for disturbances to their stealthy entrance, they saw a strange pattern formed in the dust on the tiles. It appeared that once, a large amount of liquid had been spilled there. Although on closer inspection it certainly was not water. It had pushed aside a lot of dust, the leftover ripples forming dark marks where they did not tread. Splattermarks, and the remnants prints of snow boots they did not recognise. Puddles had once pooled here, flecks of liquid having hit the walls in their force. But the absence of any stain was not the strangest part. There was a spot on the ground where the dust appeared to have coalesced, forming an almost torso-like imprint surrounded by thousands of thin threads of gossamer. The lines appeared to transcend the laws of physics, flowing along the ground to this point. Ignoring various indentations and surfaces in a tiled surface beginning to buckle, perfectly straight lines which at some point became far too complex and needless to be done by hand. Yet.. if not by hand, then left by what?

A creak in the floorboards above, undoubtedly spurred by motion, and Bertrum flicked his torch up just in time to catch a puff of plaster dust rolling from some unseen crack. Pound pound pound, they heard it begin to run. "Oh god-"

Disregarding the floor patterns, the two leapt out from the doorway and back outside.

Her hand against the doorknob before she even realised. It was just as well they had moved out the way, as from above there came a dreadful* howl. Lacie readied herself against the door as the scuffling, growling *thing* flung itself down the stairs and galloped at them on all fours. They watched its silhouette blunder across the room, and for a precious moment the light of an adjacent window, if only for an instance, the face it belonged to. Lacie threw herself against the door and Bertrum did the same, shutting it so explosively the foundations of the house seemed to resonate with the bang. Behind the wooden frame, the thing screamed and clawed in futility. But there were no more strange sounds, no more hidden menaces. If this one had company, they would have attacked together. They were in another room, and thankfully one with a window. There was no furniture to block the door with, but seeing a section of the doorframe splintering aaway gave Lacie an idea. Still leaning as much as she could against the door, she took off her scarf, wrapped it around the doorknob and then jammed the other loop under the lifting piece of wood. Fastening the knot as tightly as she could, she silently motioned for Bertrum to back away. The door hold shuddered but held firm. They edged their way accross the room and carefully scaled through the empty window, keeping an eye on the woods for any lurking silhouettes. "What do we do?" whispered Lacie, in a volume only slightly above the desolate wind. "I wouldn't know yet, dear. Did you see his face?" "It was Grant, I'm almost certain. Jeepers creepers, look at how aggressive he's gotten! Downright possessed if you'd ask me! The hells gotten into him?" "I may need to ponder this for a moment..." Bertrum turned away and kept an eye on the woods. "Oh come on," interrupted Lacie, "If we don't hurry he's bound to get away or somethin. The door's wide open and what if he realises we're not behind the door anymore?" Instinctively they both moved out of sight from the entrance, just in case. "Well I certainly wouldn't like placing you in such dire threats again," Bertrum mused. "But certainly there exists a method which defers from the questionable safety you seem keen on?" "You do you, but II'm not letting him escape again! Not on my watch. I see your armor still works-" Without waiting for a reaction, she jogged the perimeter of the house. "Hey!" Bertrum called, but she had already gone. He shook his head and ran after her.

[thesmalltowngal]

Snowbaz #21- The Stars Taunt Us; Ch. 2

The Stars Taunt Us (Ch. 2)

Link to The Stars Taunt Us (Ch. 1)

*Baz’s POV*

I left Simon alone on the hill hours ago. I just had to get away from him and his blue eyes and his bronze curls and just his overall Simon Snow-ness. I let him lay on the hill with me because I thought that for once in his fucking life, he’d stay quiet and let me think. Merlin, was I wrong. 

It hadn’t even been ten minutes before Simon started talking again. “Baz, I know that I hurt you, but-”

“Snow. Enough.” He looked over at me as though he physically couldn’t stop the words from tumbling from his mouth. (I was foolish to believe I could get even a moment of silence when I’m near him.) He stayed quiet for only a minute before he spoke again. 

“Listen, I know that I broke your heart, and that wasn’t okay. But I… well, I thought you’d come right back, now didn’t I? And I-”

“Snow, just fucking stop! I can’t… I need some space. Just text me, for Crowley’s sake!” I stormed off in a huff, leaving my Snow (I suppose he’s not my Snow anymore) all alone on the hill, leaving me to look up at the stars in jealousy.

I can’t even bloody think when I’m around Simon. An hour or so after I left, I got a text from him. 

We should talk, Baz. He texted an hour ago.

Just meet me at the cafe tomorrow @ 12. I’ll be waiting. He texted half an hour ago. I didn’t respond. 

Of course I know exactly what fucking cafe he’s talking about. The quaint little one on the corner of Piccadilly Circus and Coventry Street. We went there once in the pouring rain. I was ravenous; I didn't even bother covering my mouth when I ate. Snow loved it so much (he said he loved me so much that very same day) that we started going there at least once a week. It became our ‘spot’, so to speak. Our safe place. 

I don’t have a safe place anymore. My safe place used to be my room at Watford. Shortly after it had been anywhere Simon had been. Simon Snow was my safe place. Now… I don’t know. Maybe my safe place is just sitting on a hill, talking to the stars. I don’t know yet if I’ll meet him at the cafe (might be too many memories- I shouldn’t be influenced), but if I know Simon Snow (and I do… in a way I thought he’d never let me), I know that he’ll never leave me alone (Crowley, I still don’t know if I want him to leave me alone) unless I meet him. So I suppose I should. 

I’m on the roof of my flat complex now, in my new safe place. I sit on the roof, my back against a wall, staring at the stars. Wishing that I could stop loving Simon Snow. 

*Simon’s POV*

I’m at the cafe now. When Baz left me on the hill last night, I just laid there for a very long while, thinking. Thinking about us. Thinking about the stars. I am going to fight for him- I just have to. I can’t let us die again. I know that he thinks I broke his heart (okay, technically I did, but that’s beside the point) but maybe I just cracked it. Fractured it ever so slightly. One time I fractured my ankle. (Thanks to Baz.) But because of that, I know that with time, fractures can be healed. We can be healed. His heart can be healed. 

I know that he’ll know which cafe I told him to meet me at. It’s our cafe- our safe place. It’s the place that I knew I fell in love with him. (Not the place that I did fall in love with him; that took time, denial, a few hits to the head and one kiss in a burning forest.) If I just give him a (slightly) reasonable amount of space and I play my cards right, I know I can get him back. For Merlin’s sake, not to sound cocky, but Baz has told me that he fell in love with me years ago. Madly in love. And a love like that doesn’t very well just go away over the course of a year.

I’m seated at a small table (our table- we carved our names into the bottom) tucked away in a corner with a hot chocolate and Baz’s coffee when he walks in. His hair is all down now, falling in lazy waves all around his face. (He might’ve done it on purpose- he knows it’s my favorite way that he wears his hair.) His shirt is unbuttoned part-way and he’s wearing the jeans that fit him so nicely. (Fucking space, Simon. Space.) He doesn’t even look around for me. He just walks straight towards our table, seeming to already know that I’ve got him his drink. He walks with an air of confidence he’s always had, but I know him well enough to know that he’s a bit nervous. (He’s running his tongue over his canines- a nervous habit.) When he sits down, he grabs his drink from me and looks me in the eyes, taking in a deep breath. 

“You have ten minutes, Snow. Why am I here?” I’m not at all surprised by his assertiveness and get-to-the-point attitude. He’s not one to make small talk. (After years with the bastard, he hardly ever surprises me with that anymore.)

“Okay, well, erm…” I had a whole speech planned out, but I’ve never been good with words. Thankfully, Baz knows that and stays quiet, waiting for me to get a grip. “Baz, I know that the way things ended between us was bad,” He scoffs and rolls his eyes. I resist the age-old urge to growl at him. “But I was stupid then. I was in a bad place, and I just wanted you to be happy… I thought I was just holding you back. I didn’t know that I was making you happy, and that just killed me. But Baz, I was wrong. We’re like…” I search for the words. “We’re like stars.”

He mutters something along the lines of, “You can say that again…” But he doesn’t continue the thought as he lets me finish. 

“They can be separate for Merlin knows how long, but they always find their way to each other eventually. That’s us, Baz. We spent so much of our childhood separate, in a way, and we weren’t together for too long before the world decided to fuck it up again. And then, even when we found our way back again, we were separated because I’m a fuckup… again. But I think we can get it right this time. We can find our way back to each other for good. Just… just let me prove it to you. We can take it slow. As slow as you want. But,” I take his hands in mine and I look into his eyes that are two deep pools of grey. “I don’t want to lose you again…” I wait for him to say something, but he stays quiet. “Well?” I want to know what he’s thinking.

*Baz’s POV*

I don’t know what I’m thinking. All of these pretty words dance off of his tongue, but I just can’t feel it anymore. I don’t feel the fire that was once there, and I don’t feel the trust and safety that came after and with the fire. I just… I feel tired. Tired of the back and forth. I just want to want and be wanted. But not just when it’s convenient- I want it to be a constant. But then again… maybe it will come back with time? And here he is, looking at me with all of this hope in his eyes, and he’s talking about the stars…

“Sure, Snow. I guess… I guess we can give it a bloody try,” I let out a sigh as though it’s work to be doing this (it really is, I suppose), but I can’t keep the small smile off of my face as his whole face spreads into a shit-eating grin. Crowley, he may make me want to fold in on myself and implode, but fuck if he doesn’t have a lovely smile. 

“Good- uh, perfect. Well then,” He gives my hand a squeeze as he stumbles over his words. (I used to find it endearing- it’s starting to get annoying now, to be quite honest.) “Can I take you out this evening?” I nod my head and sigh again like I can’t help it. (I feel as though it may be a real sigh this time- I don’t quite feel like swooning much anymore.)

…

We’re out to the cinema and watching a truly treacherous movie called ‘Twilight’. (It was Simon’s idea- I wasn’t surprised.) Maybe a year ago, I would’ve found it humorous that this was the movie he picked for us to go see. But after having taken a step back from our relationship, it feels… a bit insensitive of him. Thoughtless, perhaps. Although I try not to complain too much because he’s been holding my hand the whole time, and it feels like it had felt all those years ago when he could touch me without running. It doesn’t feel like electricity or fire, or even like anything remotely passionate (even as he leans in to place a kiss on my neck and rest his head on my shoulder). It doesn’t feel bad, I mean… nice. It feels nice. But every time he laughs in my ear or leans in to kiss me softly, I feel a dull ache in my chest; perhaps where my heart used to be before he stole the broken pieces for himself. 

By the end of the movie, I am thoroughly offended at the vampire cliches, but Simon (of course) loved every second of it. (Is it cute or sweet that he’s taken such an interest in vampire cliches? It feels weird when he could just ask a real one about the real things surrounding vampire lore.) We stay hand in hand (I remember what it felt like when I loved it; it felt like fireworks in my chest) all the way until he walks me up to right outside my flat. It feels like how it looks in the romcom movies (Simon used to make me watch them)- it’s awkward, and we don’t know what to do. Crowley, it might be even more awkward since we used to date. 

“Well, Snow, thanks for… the movie.” (I can barely even call that garbage film a movie- it feels like disrespect to cinematography.) Before I can turn to walk up to my flat, Simon grabs me by my collar and pulls me down, crashing our lips together. He’s eager, like a puppy lapping up food, and since I don’t know what else to do, I kiss him like I did the night of the forest fire. I remember what that passion felt like… like being set aflame from the inside out. 

This feels like kissing a stranger. 

…

Simon and I have been dating for three weeks. In some ways, it’s gone back to how it was before he broke it off. There are soft touches and more jokes. I’m more comfortable around him now. We still have our own flats, and we haven’t slept together. (Simon still has intimacy issues and I just.... well I don’t mind, to say the least.) Although things have been good, and I can see going on like this for years, I still don’t feel how I did a year ago. 

Sometimes, when we’re just sitting close together and watching a movie, it almost feels  normal. Like we’re back to our old lives. (Sidenote: I hang out more with Penny again. Aleister Crowley, I missed that little witch.) But we were separated for a year. And under the worst conditions possible. I had been so in love with him, and every single day I had waited for him to change his mind about me- about us. When he finally did, I felt as though what little soul I might have had left my body in search of a warmer home. My heart was, to put it simply, ripped from my chest and stomped on. That soul and that heart… they loved Simon Snow with every fibre of their beings. But whatever was left in their wake just hurts. Of course I still love him (so much); a love like that doesn’t just go away. But the longer it sits unreciprocated, the more it tears you limb from limb, leaving nothing but a numb shell behind. 

But I don’t know. Maybe those feelings will… come back one day? I suppose I’ll just fake it until then. (I wonder if the stars ever fake their magnetism because it felt like the thing to do… I’ve been spending a lot of time in my safe place lately.)

*Simon’s POV*

Baz and I have been dating for two months, and it feels as though we’re right back where we were before we broke up… but it’s so much better this time. Every touch, every kiss, every look is magic. It’s passion, it’s fire, it’s… it’s fireworks. No one knows better than I do that you have limited time on this Earth. And because of that, I know that whatever I want to do while I’m in the world, I should get the fuck going. And number one on my list is spending the rest of my life with Baz. (Do stars spend the entirety of their lives together, or do they one day meet and fall in love?) 

Right now we’re in our safe place. Our cozy little table in the cafe that never seems to fail in being downright lovely. I can think of no better place to ask Baz what I want to ask him next. Right now he’s just sipping his latte and staring off into space. “Hey Baz?” He looks at me, eyes still partially glazed over like he had been deep in thought. 

“Yes, Snow?” I take a deep breath as I start talking. 

“So, as you know, I love you with every fibre of my being. I love you more than life and Sour Cherry Scones. More than Romeo loved Juliet and more than the stars seem to love each other,” (We talk about stars a lot.) “I know we’re young. I also know that this life is short, and we’ve already been through so much together and apart. I think we work better as team- we face challenges and other people better together. You are my partner in crime. I know that we’ve had a bloody rocky past, and we may not have the easiest present, either.” I get down on one knee, bringing up the ring box to be held in front of his face. He looks like he’s in shock, but I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. “But I think that we can make damn well sure that we have the best future ahead of us as possible. And the only way I can see my future is if you’re in it, right there beside me. So… will you be my terrible, terrible husband?” I look up at him, hope in my heart as he takes the ring in his fingers, studying the band. 

“‘He told me we were stars…’” He whispers the engravement on the inside of the wedding band. He stands up with the ring, looking down at me, a set look on his face. (I don’t know what it means.) His eyes hold the stars.

______________________________

Do we like? Do we hate? Do we want a third chapter? Do we want to leave it be? Feedback please

[rsfannan]

Day Five: Roman Times

Off to a day trip to Bath, UK. Bath Is the largest city in the county of Somerset known for its Roman-built baths. The Romans built a temple here in 60-70 C.E. And over the next 300 years, the bathing complex was constructed.

There is, however, a legend that Bath was actually founded in 860 B.C.E. when Prince Bladud, father of King Lear, caught leprosy. He was banned from the court and forced to look after pigs. The pigs, as the story goes, also had a skin disease but after wallowing around in the hot mud of the area, were miraculously cured. The Prince followed their example and was also cured. He later became King and founded the city of Bath. Great story, doncha think?

In any event, this hot spring, abundant in minerals, continued to attract locals during Roman times and visitors from all over, enjoying the curative waters long after the Romans left England in 407 C.E. It became super popular in the Georgian Era, and most of the city’s famous buildings come from this time, especially when Beau Nash presided over the social life, from 1705 until his death in 1761. The city continued to be quite fashionable for the well-to-do on into the 19th when Jane Austen made here home there.

Despite the rainy day, we started off with a double-decker bus tour of the city, stopping at #1 Royal Crescent for a walk through a Georgian home. Quite interesting. Diane and Jeannie went to the Fashion Museum while I treated myself to a pint in the museum cafe. They liked their adventure and I enjoyed mine.

Then, it was off to the Roman Baths. These ancient baths are formed by rain entering the earth from the surrounding hills percolates through aquifers to a depth of 2-3 miles and then rises as geothermal energy raises the temperature of the water to between 150 and 200 degrees F. Hot water rises through a geological fault to a pretty constant temperature of 115 degrees F in quantities plenty enough for the baths to accommodate hundreds and hundreds of bathers throughout Roman times. It was not until several hundred years after the Romans left that the baths fell into disrepair, and were eventually destroyed at the end of the 6th century. There were attempts to resurrect the baths many times over the centuries, but the modern version was started in 1894 and completed three years later. There are far too many interesting things that we learned during our visit, but I will tell you about my personal favorite.

Archaeologists have discovered what are known as Bath curse tablets at the bottom of many of the baths. These are small metal sheets upon which are inscribed curses against specific people asking the gods to inflict justice, usually in the form of physical injury (including death) upon those that have stolen property from the writer of the curse. A particularly good example follows

“...so long as someone, whether slave or free, keeps silent or knows anything about

it, he may be accursed in his blood, and eyes and every limb and even have his

intestines quite eaten away if he has stolen the ring or been privy to the theft.”

This was asked of the goddess Sulis Minerva. Pretty serious business.

Some tourist attractions are just that. This one certainly delivers. Bath is a beautiful town that we shall have to return to for a longer visit someday.

[chrysaliseuro2019]

Bizarre Vrsar

Not only did Hotel Marija have a very comfy room its breakfast was vast with many little tempting morsels.

Having spent 2 nights at Novigrad and finding it charming we thought it would be good to see whatever else Istria might offer. The big risk is this might be the benchmark and nothing else will come up to scratch but time to find out.

Randomly picked an inland town off the map about 20 minutes drive. The soil was rich so grapevines and olive trees were aplenty. Arrived at Visnjan as the 1617 clock tower was striking midday. It turned out to be a pretty little town with the bell tower through an arch in a square at the top and a narrow paved street down to the 3 cafes all within thirty metres of each other. The narrow street was lined with old double storey houses two of which had nonnas sitting on the balcony amongst their many pot plants eating lunch. One yelled out ‘Morgen’ clearly not having registered the chiming of 12 o’clock. Perhaps she was excited to see some new faces in town because I reckon this charming little village would not be on the regular tourist circuit.

Also a sturdy but a little neglected church at the end of the narrow street before the cafes. We guessed it was probably built at the same time as the arch and bell tower. The door was closed but the window shutters were open so we could see the paintings on the ceiling and walls which were in surprisingly good condition.

Because we had driven inland we had bypassed Poreč on the coast so we backtracked to it, found a big carpark not far from the centre which took the pain out of trying to interpret the indecipherable restrictions and limitations of European parking metres. Even lucky enough to get one in the shade which was a blessing as the little Fiat’s air conditioning is more a pffff than a blow.

Poreč is a much larger seaside town than Novigrad and plenty of tourists have found it. While the old town hasn’t been ruined by development there are several large complexes on its edge and the beaches teeming with umbrellas and lounges. Historically the Romans were there (of course) then the Venetians took over which was very evident in the buildings which were lovely. There were architectural clues the Venetians had been in Novigrad too.

Poreč’s main attraction the Christian cathedral complex considered the best preserved of its kind. Christians came to Poreč in the first centuries after Christ but Christianity was forbidden. So the priest held holy mass in his home but was later tortured and killed. In 313 Christians were given permission to worship so the first church on the site was built. It was replaced by a church now the Euphrasius Basilica in the 6th century. Also built at that time and still part of the complex were the atrium, bishop’s Palace and the baptistry.

We duly bought our tickets and did the tour of 10 points of interest. The first of which was the bell tower. While only 120 stairs it was stinking hot so we lumbered up. View of Poreč and it’s surrounds was good. Then through the rest of the complex and the museum. It was good without being amazing. Lots of building fragments, artefacts and some bits and pieces of mosaics.

Quick refreshments on the run from the bakery and time to head to the night’s destination. Had booked a place in Vrsar another fishing town, smaller than Poreč but bigger than Novigrad. Found our Air BnB apartment easily enough and we were supposed to be able to park out the front for 15 minutes. So I got out to see if I could move the little locked barrier to be told by the cafe owner that we couldn’t park there. Back in the car to get out of the way of a couple of cars behind us who we’d been holding up for a minute or two by now. Rang the owner who apologised, reset Narelle and once around the block saw us back there with the barrier removed. Apartment on street level up a laneway - always so pleasing not to have to lug cases up stairs. You’ve got to hand it to photographers who can so skilfully make a room barely 4 metres square look roomy on the internet pictures. Still it’s recently renovated and the bathroom excellent.

Parked the car a bit further away down by the water and headed looking for somewhere to settle in for a few hours for a swim and relax. It got me thinking why Europeans get so excited about beaches like Bondi and to a lesser extent StKilda. It’s because there actually is a beach. Here at Vrsar the holiday makers are using up every square metre of small pebbly areas no bigger than our current digs. We along with plenty of others settled for an area under some trees back a little way from the water’s edge. Some housekeeping was required; first scan for dog turds then clear out any pebbles and or pine cones before laying down beach towel. I read and snoozed. Chris blogged.

Tidied up and out for dinner. First of all we passed several 20-something girls sitting at little wooden tables in the street outside our apartment. Equipped with a computer each they were talking on their phones and writing information on lists. I asked the the owner of our apartment the following morning when we went past them again what they were doing. He didn’t know but said a Russian owned the building and the girls only speak Russian. We wondered if they were an example of pesky callers that call from foreign climes trying to scam. Who knows.

Descended a steep hill with what seem liked endless sets of slippery flagstones. We passed a number of red faced puffing people struggling as they heaved themselves up while we gave 100% concentration on not slipping over on the way down. When it was time to go home later we chose an alternative route of a longer footpath without any stairs.

On the way down we passed a couple of young blokes in old fashioned formal clothing and then at the bottom of the hill was another. There was a crowd gathering but we weren’t sure if it was an organised event or a busker. We joined in anyway. Turned out Casanova had been through town and declared it was “A town of fine wine and beautiful women” so it seems these young men do Casanova shows. The young Casanova was very amusing advising the women to leave their husbands home next time, flirting with some of the women saying he had a number of tricks up his sleeve in a very provocative and suggestive way. It was all very light hearted and fun but sadly I wasn’t on the trend of such flirtations as I may have been many years ago. Clearly Casanova thought I was well past my use-by date. After his warm up he started to take his show and followers back towards the hill we had just come down. The choice came down to going back up that hill with Casanova or heading to the wharf for a drink. We chose the latter.

Found a bar where Chris (aka The supercilious Bastard) chose a craft beer The Arrogant Bastard - seemed fitting. Enjoyed watching the throng and while Novigrad was more your Blairgowrie set, Vrsar felt far more like Rosebud.

There was plenty to keep us entertained. A pirate-type boat docked and what seemed liked a surprisingly large number of happy punters for the size of the vessel disgorged to the strangely inappropriate strains of Jose Feliciano’s Feliz Navidad (I want to wish you a Merry Christmas). Still they looked like it they’d had a rollicking good time, Christmas or not.

Another boat caught Chris’ eye. It was the Glassboat but with appropriate movement the GL were hidden by a furled umbrella. We felt due to lack of having one he didn’t qualify going on the Assboat whereas I’m over qualified.

Time for dinner. Initially chose a taverna on the waterfront but after sitting there for 5 minutes and being seemingly invisible we felt it didn’t bode well. So headed a little way back up the hill to a restaurant we’d spotted earlier. Mussels and fish - both ok but Croatian food not a patch on Greek food.

Headed back to our apartment but saw there a music act was on at the cafe just at the front of it. Act was on a break but had a set of 45 minutes to play. So we sat to watch full of anticipation after the 2 nights of very good and excellent music we’d seen in Novigrad. But in hindsight we shouldn’t have had our hopes too high. The only instrument on display was a Hammond-style organ and the banner hanging from the organ said ‘Fantasy Duo’. More nightmare than fantasy. They were a 50 year old husband and wife team, her in a polka dot dress and him in beige Fletcher Jones slacks and a neat shirt. She played the tambourine and swayed. He played the organ and swayed. Unfortunately they both sang. Amongst their repertoire was Strangers In The Night, Una Paloma Blanca, I Just Called To Say I Love You, To Love Somebody and Que Sera Sera plus some Croatian dirges. Chris was willing them to play to the audience, which mainly comprised of Germans, by belting an oompah song. But it wasn’t to be. Just more mundane muzak. I felt like I was listening to an LP from the Brashes $1 Clearance Bin circa 1970. One couple made the best of it and danced. Everyone else talked as if they weren’t there but politely yet briefly clapped at the end of each song. Chris and I found the whole scenario entertaining but probably not in the way the Fantasy Duo hoped. We possibly didn’t conceal our amusement very well because the young hipster waitress (with a very deep voice) came over out of the blue rolling her eyes saying she was sorry we were there for such sad music. She qualified the ‘sad’ as meaning appalling not tear jerking. She made it quite apparent that she wasn’t a fan and said she thought people came along because they thought it was funny. Good to know it wasn’t just us then. It made for a memorable evening.

[ryanmeft]

Ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Part 1

The culmination of the superhero ride that started with Iron Man back in 2008 is almost here. Avengers: Endgame tickets are selling out fast even though the movie is nearly three weeks away, and speculation as to how this stage of Marvel’s box office juggernaut will all end is at a fever pitch. What better time to rank the movies that have brought us here? Now, no one with even a tiny bit of objectivity sincerely believes Marvel had a ten year plan and executed it precisely according to a grand vision. Looking back through these movies makes it clearer than ever that, more often than not, they made it up as they went along. In fact, considering all the retcons, changed minds, dropped plot threads and unexpected surprises, it’s amazing the continuity holds together at all. It mostly does...but the bottom part of this list contains the few movies even Marvel’s PR team probably wishes they could have a mulligan on, as well as some good-but-not-quite-lighting-the-world-on-fire fare. Let’s get to it. Warning: this article contains spoilers for nearly every movie in the MCU.

21. Iron Man 2

The red-headed stepchild of the MCU. After the surprise success of the original Iron Man, Marvel Studios apparently forgot that the strength of that film was allowing Jon Favreau and the writing team to put heart before brand synergy, and decided to make a movie that was half marketing for their planned Avengers crossover. Dropping Black Widow in here felt completely jarring, and it didn’t help that her role just added to the jumble of plot threads that didn’t seem to add up to anything; at the time, many saw it as proof that Marvel was putting a little too much faith in their ability to pull off this whole crossover thing. That’s only part of the sordid story, though, because the movie is also a mess in nearly every other way. Rather than the tight plotting of the original, this one sees Tony, Rhodey, Pepper and the rest speeding from random situation to random situation---a car race, an unhinged party, a spy caper---with only the barest of plot threads holding it all together. The movie’s only saving graces are the villains played by Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke. Each of them deliciously devours every scene they are in, providing the film’s lone moments of enjoyment, but they’re also squandered on what feels like an extremely low stakes plan. Iron Man so well proved that superhero movies can have a soul that it even managed to make some critical best-of lists for 2008. The sequel made us wonder if that might have been a tad premature.

20. The Incredible Hulk

There are some genuinely creative moments in this action-oriented “apology” for the in-reality-pretty-good Ang Lee Hulk movie. The opening sequence showing how Hulk’s blood travels, a chase through a Brazilian favela, tossing Bruce out of a helicopter to incite his other half, and the almost-love scene aborted by the alter ego were signs of how clever the movie could have been if it were not focused on cramming in as much smashing as possible. Nick Nolte’s complex antagonist is replaced with William Hurt chewing a little too much scenery, the new super-villain played by Tim Roth is a dull waste of the actor’s talent, the finale is listless, and the entire movie is just one long excuse to show Hulk ‘roiding out as much as possible. The camera work of skilled action veteran Peter Menzies Jr. and some excellent CG on the title character make it more fun to look at than many of the tights flicks of the time, which is something. As a general rule, things that are made to chase fleeting audience sentiments don’t stand the test of time, and there’s been a quiet reversal since 2008 in which Lee’s more original and creative vision for the character has come to be re-evaluated, while this one has been almost forgotten and relegated to endless TNT re-runs. Maybe with Mark Ruffalo having one more movie on his contract, he’ll get a crack at doing it right post-Endgame.

19. Thor: The Dark World At the time, this movie served as iron-clad proof that the only reason the Thor character worked at all was Loki. The god of mischief is at his delicious then-best here, conniving from a prison cell, partnering with his brother out of genuine concern, and eventually managing to actually take the throne. Sure, that latter development was quickly undone in the next film, but what a parting shot. He’s the only aspect of the movie that fully works, and if you pop it in today you sit patiently waiting for his scenes and snoring through the second, Loki-free half of the movie. Thor himself is lifeless when Loki’s not on screen. The Warriors Three are still nowhere near the right balance of humor and bravery. Natalie Portman remains wasted on a supposedly genius scientist who can nevertheless be stunned into immediate silence by Thor’s golden locks, while Sif is still 100% unnecessary in every way. Perhaps worst of all, the underrated Christopher Eccleston is miscast as a villain who always seems to be doing bad Shakespeare. We all tried hard to forgive it at the time (and director Alan Taylor claims it was made “a different movie” in the editing room, not at all implausible) but thankfully we’ve since admitted this is mostly a misfire.

18. Ant-Man

If you were to judge Ant-Man entirely by the size-changing shenanigans, it would be one of the best Marvel movies. Peyton Reed, building off a script by departing director Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish (and tidied up by Rudd and Adam McKay) gets a ton of mileage out of the novelty of being the size of an insect, from outrunning a flood in a bathtub to that rather brilliant final confrontation in a child’s playroom, using toys as ammo. Further, Paul “I Am Immortal” Rudd is pitch-perfect in the title role, while Michael Douglas and Evangeline Lilly bring a lot to the picture. It’s in the details where Ant-Man falls a bit short (pun intended). To start, we have a single major Hispanic character in the MCU, played by the frankly more-legendary-than-you-think Michael Pena, and he’s reduced to a fast-talking stereotype. Judy Greer and Bobby Cannavale are also worlds better than their roles, which are, respectively, a cliche shrewish ex-wife and a cliche over-suspicious cop. What really drags things down, though, is the lackluster villain, who may be the most inert black hole in the MCU’s rogues gallery. He is neither good enough to engage us, nor bad enough to hate. He could have been played by a grip, for all the personality he’s allowed. The core of the film is delightful. The hill around it is crumbly.

17. Captain Marvel

Marvel’s first female-led flick is understandably a phenomenon, pulling down the sixth-largest opening weekend of all time and serving as inspiration to young girls and target to the kind of people who don’t want women in their clubhouse. So what about the movie that’s causing all this hullabaloo? It’s pretty decent. The movie can be summed up very succinctly as “safe”. It takes few chances and is more like one small step than one giant leap for womankind. Had it been released during the early superhero boom, it would still be fondly remembered as a major link in the genre’s evolution. As it is, it borrows from the buddy-cop subgenre to create what is essentially an adventure/sci-fi movie between Carol Danvers and Nick Fury. It stands out more as a callback to the kind of action pics made in the 90’s (when it is set) than the heavily marketed shared universe of the MCU, and includes standout performances from Annette Bening, Jude Law and Ben Mendelsohn. It meets expectations; it does not exceed them, and if you are a fan of the distinctive style practiced by directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, you won’t find it here. It’s only a month old, and it may be too soon to definitely say how it will be seen as time goes on. Right now, it feels more like a solid first step for the character than a fully realized final destination.

16. Thor

The original Thor has some completely solid, indisputable charms. Chris Hemsworth does physical comedy much more skillfully than he is ever given credit for, it is the debut of Tom Hiddleston as Loki, the third act is a rare-at-the-time case of inventiveness in an MCU finale, and it’s always great to see Stellan Skarsgard in literally anything. I would watch two hours of Stellan Skarsgard eating lunch, with a clone of Stellan Skarsgard. His drinking scene with Thor is a seriously underrated bit of awesome. It helps make up for the fact that the movie has no idea what to do with most of the supporting cast, including in part Loki, who at this stage seems to flail around between personalities, having crazy forced on him in time for the final duel despite it not even being hinted at earlier. It’s as if director Kenneth Branagh just let him do his own thing, and Hiddleston’s not 100% sure what that should be yet. The mirror scene is objectively amazing, but he won’t really come into his own until Avengers. The Warriors Three are utterly wasted; Branaugh and the writers just never nail the right combo of comedy and camaraderie needed to pull them off. Sif is superfluous. Natalie Portman is one of the finest actors of our generation, here reduced to goggling over Thor’s pecs. It’s not bad, especially compared to some of the dreck that gets pumped out of the blockbuster machine. It’s just rather inert.

That’s it for part 1. I’m  going to be doing some Marvel/Superhero/General Nerd content leading up to Endgame’s release. Check back next Friday for part 2 of this list, and pop by Monday for part 1 of my predictions on the fate of each character in Endgame. Part 2: https://ryanmeft.tumblr.com/post/184208179827/ranking-the-marvel-cinematic-universe-part-2 Part 3: https://ryanmeft.tumblr.com/post/184372777282/ranking-the-marvel-cinematic-universe-part-3

[rabidsquabbiteldewrito]

ElDewrito Dev Update (Mar 04, 2018) Part 1

It’s been about a month since our last post, and we apologize for the lack of dev blog updates. Many of our team members have been busy/away during parts of the last month (I just got back from a much-needed week long vacation, snowboarding in the Rockies). While we would have liked to have 0.6 released by now, please remember that we’re all doing this in our spare time for free, and sometimes we burn out, or simply aren’t able to work on it as much as we’d like.

That being said, we’re back at full force with refreshed minds and ready to hammer this thing out.

I’ve read many comments from many people, whether it be on reddit or discord or PMs, saying that our communication is too infrequent and needs to be improved. While I do not need to apologize for taking a vacation, I take these comments to heart. It was only a year and a half ago when I was in the same position you are in, on the outside looking in, asking the same thing from the devs. It’s why I made that first 0.6 update post and it’s why I have been writing these blog posts. I’ll honor your guys’ request and go into as much detail as possible.

I’ll discuss the progress we’ve made since our last post, what’s remaining to do, and also showcase some cool new stuff we’ve added. And as always, we’ll show you some new gameplay using the new features or new forge maps.

This blog post is two parts. If you don’t care about the technical jargon and just want to see cool stuff, skip to the bottom - there’s some cool new features to see. For the rest of you, sit down. This one’s a long read; you asked for it.

The ‘Dedi Connection Bug’

In our last blog post, I went into detail about the ‘dedi connection bug’. As you recall, this bug has two manifestations:

Player A can’t join a server because it conflicts with player B already in the server. The join request is actually rejected.

A player attempts to join a server, but the establishment process never completes, yet the player is able to join the voip server and can hear players in the server. This manifestation has multiple root causes.

One of our team members, unk_1, wrote a log parser to detect occurrences of the dedi bug. We turned on network logging on a few of the 0511 dedicated servers and left them running for a week at a time. After analyzing the logs, we’ve found that manifestation #1 accounts for about ¾ of the connection issues. As I mentioned last post, #1 has been completely fixed already.

A lot of work has gone into trying to fix number 2, and while some occurrences might be out of control for the time being (restricted NAT type for example: remember Xbox 360 NAT type issues?), we have made great progress and have fixed one of its causes. I’ll go into a bit of detail about that here.

MTU and Packet Fragmentation

The MTU (maximum transmission unit) is the size of the largest amount of data that can be sent in a single network transaction. If a packet is too big (larger than MTU), routers will fragment this packet into smaller ones and then the data gets reassembled. This fragmentation can lead to a much higher chance of packet loss. In addition, not all routers behave the same in regards to packet fragmentation, and many do not obey the ‘Don’t Fragment’ flag in the IP protocol header.

Why is this relevant? After lots of digging and research, we found that some of the packets that are exchanged during the establishment process were bigger than the MTU size. The solution? Shrink them down to a valid size so that they don’t get fragmented. After testing this in 0511, we saw the number of manifestation #2 occurrences decrease.

While this is great news, many #2 occurrences still were still present in the logs, and we believe many of them are related to NAT. We will provide a how-to doc when 0.6 releases on how to check/open your NAT type, as well as other useful info to ensure that other players can connect to your server without issue. As for the other #2 connection issues that may (we aren’t even sure if any remain) still exist that are within our control, we’re going to leave them to be fixed them in a later update. Debugging these issues are a slow, tedious, painful process. We can’t have this issue delay us any further, so we’re calling it a day. Note: So far, with the #1 and #2 fixes in, we haven’t had a single dedi bug re-occurrence in our testing sessions, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there aren’t rare connection issues hiding somewhere that we haven’t been able to replicate.

The Updater

The usual question. We’ve made great progress on the updater, and it is pretty much finished. The updater will be a lightweight standalone exe that will allow you to update to the latest version, and even downgrade to previous versions. The updater will not need to be ran to start the game, nor will it act as a launcher like the 0511 updater does. It’s simply an updater. When a future update comes out, for example 0.7, a message will be displayed on the title screen when you boot up the game, telling you that you need to close the game and update. Open the updater -> click update -> done. There are a couple of very small bugs we’ve found during the testing of it, and those are being fixed.

Enough about the boring stuff, on to the fun stuff.

Misc/Small Bug Fixes since last post:

Settings - Fix for Alt binds

Added forge binding to deselect everything

Allow held forge object to be extended unconstrained

Fix transparent materials for reforge

Fix ‘default’ weapon offset preset doesn’t work in the in-game menu

Fix atmosphere toggle on map modifier

Fix weather effects not working on certain maps

Fix issues with custom fog not working well on certain maps

Discord UI - Fix the Ui showing breifly upon starting the game

Chat UI - Add warning alert for opening links that may be unsafe

Fix crash related to forge kill volumes

Fixed exe remaining running in background due to Discord rpc not shutting down

Fix duplicate requests for player info (rank, emblem, ect)

Jaron’s emblem editor that we showed a preview of in the last post has been added and touched up. 

Q: Has anything you’ve previously shown us not going to make it into 0.6?

A: Yes, unfortunately the doors and fans we showcased in the last blog post have too many issues and are not ready for prime time. We want them to be polished before adding it, and doing so right now would be time consuming and would delay release. Keeping the doors and fans as-is in 0.6 would break any maps using them we were to fix/polish them in a later update. For these reasons, we’ve decided to exclude these from 0.6 and add the doors/fans to a future update instead.

Q: Have any new cool features been added since the last post?

A: Absolutely. 

But before I go into detail on these, I want to make an important distinction about why things are still able to be added while we haven’t released yet. We often see comments like “Why are you still adding features when you could have released?”, or “just release the game and add stuff to it later”.

That’s not really how development for this game works. This team has quite a few active developers. If two people are working on a must-fix bug, say ‘the dedi-bug’ for example, there are other members of the team who are still available to work on other things. If devs A and B are developing the new updater, that doesn’t mean that devs C-G need to sit and twiddle their thumbs until the updater is finished. Some bugs are very complex, and only certain members of the team have the expertise to fix them. This produces opportunities for us to sneak in extra features without slowing down our 0.6 progress whatsoever. So to be clear, extra features that we’ve been showing off in the last few blog posts have not in any way slowed down or delayed the release of 0.6.

That being said, buckle up, because we’ve got some cool new shit for you.

Glass and Emissive Glass have been added as forge materials. Any reforge object can be given a glass or emissive glass material, and can have customized opacity and color. 

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40 New Materials have been added for forge objects. In addition, Forge Material textures can now be scaled, and the x and y offsets   can be adjusted.

Here is a video showing some of these new materials being used in forge, as well as how to adjust the scale and offsets.

Fog has been drastically improved to look more realistic. Here are a couple of examples:

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Directional lights have been added.  You can control the direction, intensity, fov radius, color, and near width of any light. Here is an example picture:

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Directional lights are great because you get much more control with bleeding (the light doesn’t go through the objects). you can set the FOV to something high like 180 and it’s like a point light but it won’t bleed above it through objects. In this example - here’s where the light is:

With a point light instead of directional light, it would be super bright up here:

Pulse and Flicker functions can also be applied and customized to any light source. You can control the minimum intensity, maximum intensity, as well as the frequency of the pulse or flicker. Here’s a video showing some of these lights being created/altered in forge.

Player size is now a gametype option/trait. Players can be scaled to be tiny, huge, or anywhere in-between. For example, you can create gametypes where the players become huge while in the hill or in the lead, or tiny while holding the ball or flag. A small map like the pit can suddenly turn into a BTB map. The sky is the limit. Players also animate between the two sizes, so they don’t just instantly magically appear large or small when transitioning from one size to another.

A full gameplay video where players are tiny, but become big and slow while inside the hill in a game of KOTH is posted in part 2 of this blog post, but here are a couple of pictures.

A huge spartan driving a Warthog:

Large Spartans as a hill trait:

Skyboxes can be swapped to/from any map. Yep, you can now choose any skybox you want when creating a forge map. There are options for inheriting the fog that comes with the skybox, or you can override it with your own custom fog.

These skyboxes open an whole new realm of creativity. Take a look at some simple examples of skyboxes being used on different maps.

Guardian Skybox on Narrows

Valhalla skybox on Sandtrap:

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Here is a video showing how to change/alter skyboxes: 

Here is a small album of 4k images. I will add additional images to this album throughout the day. 

Additional Weather Effects have been added. Heavy Snow, Rain, Falling Ash, Slipspace Fallout, and Flood Pollen can now be used as weather effects. While the rain effect is a little underwhelming and needs some work (it doesn’t look very realistic yet), some of the other effects are quite cool. Here’s a gif of the “Slipspace Fallout” effect.

Don’t forget to check out part 2 for some gameplay videos, but for now, let’s get back to business. 

Q: Now What?

A: We are at a state where we now consider the game to be ‘Feature Complete’. All of the major bugs that we’ve committed to fixing have been fixed. All of the features that we committed to adding, have been added. No more features will be added. We are going to enter a short, exhaustive, ‘Regression Testing’ cycle where we test every feature that we have added over the past two years. The only commits that will occur between now and release will be fixes for bugs found during the regression testing cycle. The reason this is necessary is because over time, parts of the code have changed, been refactored, moved, ect. We need to ensure that we haven’t broken anything along the way. One of our main devs, unk_1, once said “I can't overstate how much i just molested the engine over the last 2 weeks. It needs to be tested like a lot.” And that’s what we’ll be doing. 

When we’re finished, you’ll know. 

Until next time (or until we’re playing right along side you); Sincerely, 

RabidSquabbit