#10.9.15

[omnisoundmag-blog]

ben howard | greek theatre | berkeley | 10.9.15        

[siamesedre4m]

i just finished taking a math exam and i hear like six boys outside whistling the john cena song +++my dads a fucking asshole for taking away my headphones

[omnisoundmag-blog]

daughter | greek theatre | berkeley | 10.9.15

[jennitaals]

Friday, October 9, 2015

Words honestly, seriously, cannot describe how much I miss him and love him. I need him sooooooooooo very, very, very, much. I just wish he needed me, too. I know he doesn’t anymore. For a long time now, actually. I haven’t given up on us and I seriously, never, ever, will. Even if he has. Either way, I just hope he’s happy and smiling; staying careful and hydrated. I just wish I could be with my Best Friend again... Oh how I miss him and love him sooooooooo, very, very, very, dearly...

[forgetyoursingalongsandlullabies]

5 positive things

woke up early and cooked myself a bacon mushroom cheddar omelette and orange juice

Started the new seasons of Arrow and The Flash

My cat Zatanna isn’t mad at me for bringing the other cat, George, into her home anymore and lays across my shoulders like a scarf again.

Rehearsal was interesting to say the least

Drove a little longer than I should have a little faster than I should have and after all this time found a Queen song that can speak to me for the first time in a way it never had before

[hapoetryblog]

[angelishere407]

I have to do better with my eating habits of late. I can feel my ass jingling when I walk. ‪#BackToTheGym‬

‪#‎ITSJINGLINGBABY‬

[detonating-doll]

I don’t know why, but I have a hard time at keeping most things private

This book is making me feel like the maudlin, sad girl sitting in the middle of the library, eating an apple. I wonder what it’s like to not be the maudlin, sad girl sitting in the middle of the library, eating an apple. And all of these songs I’m listening to; they’re the exact same as when I first heard them, but for some reason, I’m not.

And I get to see my family next week, and I’m sure they’ll look older, even though it’s only been two months. But my dad’s getting grayer and my mom is starting to worry more, but at least my brothers are seeing a little more life now. I hope they’re seeing through the dark still. I bet my house will smell brand new because it is, and it scares me that I don’t dream of it. Last night, the old house was in my dream and it was my home. And I woke up at six to a tapping noise that sounded so much like those old, while hallway floors, but I didn’t open my eyes. For about ten seconds, I didn’t know where I would be when I did. My brain told me I would be at home, but not really my home because I spent 16 years somewhere else.

When will I learn to love somewhere else.

Tonight, I might make some mistakes and burn my throat with my words more than the alcohol that I’ll feel inclined to take just because I think I deserve it. And right now, as everyone is moving and buzzing around me, I’m just here with a very sad book written by a very dead girl, who makes me jealous – both because she was so much better than me and because she’s dead. But not everyone can have it all.

And I hadn’t spoken an entire word out loud today, until that boy asked me if he could take this chair. I just said “yes go ahead”. But some days I don’t even notice that I don’t speak. Things are so loud in my head, like being thrown into a hornet’s nest.

But do you remember those times that you would open the windows in the middle of winter and sing whatever song was in your head. Or how you created that sleeping schedule for all of your stuffed animals because you didn’t want any of them to feel less loved? That all doesn’t seem too long ago, but it’s been a whole ten years.

And, at this point, I don’t really think of myself as a person. I don’t know what I am because there are all these people around me who seem to have better skin and better friends. So what am I? Because being that sad girl in the library won’t cut it forever, and this book is going to end at some point.

//Angelia//

10.9.15

[kimishidai-ressha]

Happy ONE OK ROCK day!!! 10.9.15.