#100moviesin92days

[falsebooles123]

Diary of a Horror Buff 8/4/22

So today was a kinda annoying day at work. There going to the coast for an event and for reasons that I don’t really want to get on here I’m staying home. I Basically worked a 6 hour that could have been a lot shorter if there was more planning. Through that being said I need the money so whatevs. 

I made plans to drop off the SUV at the mechanics since I have this thing called a misfiring cylinder I’m just glad to not be driving all the way out in the valley for work rn. 

anyway like I said technically short films are NOT ALLOWED. But fuck the rules I do what I want. Now I don’t know how many Crypt TV Shorts are on Letterboxd but I found a list with fifty of them so thats at least a good place to start. Maybe sometime I will create a list that lists all of them but I still haven’t finished my big joel list so fuck it. 

and before you ask there is a surprising amount of gifs that very inappropriate when I typed in “fuck it”. Whores(affectionate)

ok lets get into it. 

7 Rules CRYPT TV dir. Mike Castro

Ok so rather aprepo I’m breaking a rule by having this on here. another one of the rules is you can’t have any rewatches and I have seen this before BUT.

<Valley Girl Voice>It was like before I even had a Letterboxd account so I never recorded it so it like doesn’t even count.

This was the only thing that popped up when I searched “Thats on Periodt”

OK so if you are like me and have read creepy pastas, (and before you ask no I have never had a Creepy OC because I am perfect, and wholesome, and ABOVE CRINGE.) you might be formaler with a Format? Trope? Genre? of story that is essential a list of rules. Its basically a natural progression of the Ritual Creepy Pasta but with some FNAF flavor. Random Person takes a job to be a security guard, graveyard shift, hospice nurse, Etc. and they get a note that says heres the list of rules that you have to follow to the letter.....

and most of these stories are a bit much. theres too many there hyper specific, and theres no way any normal person would be able to do have of the things that are asked of them. That being said its kinda missing the point. the really good ones, (take that with a grain of salt), lead the story through implication, they tell the story through the hidden details in the story. Like all good horror its not about waving the flashlight around the basement. Its the feeling that theres something just outside the safety of the beam. You want to see nothing but you feel that you won’t be safe till you see something. 

Basically 7 rules is a more realistic version of that. a woman is house sitting for the weekend and gets a note with 7 RULES OMG JUST LIKE THE TITLE>. she does not follow them bad things happen. I actually really liked it. It was fun, it had this really great sense of humor to it, and I also like the fact that it had this very Internet horror root or at least something I recognise as coming from that branch of horror fiction. Overall worth a watch. 

Antoni Psycho (2018) CRYPT TV dir. Antoni Porowski????

OK so as far as I can tell this is a 2 minute short in which Antoni Porowski, who is in some show called queer eye for the straight guy, parodies the opening scene from American Psycho which is another film I have not watched. 

Honestly this doesn’t do it for me. mostly cause I’ve never really cared about the subject matter and also I don’t really like Queer Eye? Like happy it exists and people enjoy it but for the whole idea of fabulous queens helping some poor smuck become a metrosexual just feels really regressive. It creates this false dicotomy that the culteral performance of queerness and straighness are strictly defined. Straight men are gross slobs who are too stupid and toxic to use conditioner and gay men are hyper feminine metrosexuals who are always FABULOUS.

and as a queer man I don’t identity with either of those notions. As a man who has been stigmatized for my self-expression it took me years to unlearn all the toxic ideas I had about my own body and clothing choices. Now I can enjoy things like wearing makeup and thigh highs BUT I also don’t feel the pressure to NOT present traditional masculine. I honestly really enjoy a hoodie and joggers sometimes even if it feels like camp straightness. 

the whole premise of the show implies these notions that there is a certain presentation of queerness or straightness that is normitive and I think its really belittling to accept that. I think its wrong to tell straight men that there gross slobs and I dislike the overrepresentation of the Nance charater because it tells me as a queer person that I have to perform this level of expression. 

Much in the same way that Patrick Batemen feels that he has to want and perform the social functions that society dictates.  Boom got it. 

Bath Bomb CRYPT TV dir. Matt McWilliams. 

Ok I honestly don’t have much to say about this. Essentially a short were a women takes a bath and uh no body horror. I enjoyed the atmosphere the shots and as a short film this type of taster is just lovely. Its the flash fiction of cinema. 

Be Mine CRYPT TV dir. Joe Russo

This one is just a short fun valentines day themed horror flick. Don’t know what else to tell you. 

Anyway peeps that was my daily post for short horror films. Not sure if I’m gonna watch a movie tonight but if I do I’ll keep you posted.