#1am time for bath and sleep-

[brainworms-all-night-long]

What if I only listened to the little snail in my head telling me to draw Nine over and over again despite having numerous other w.i.p.'s

[wormsdyke]

fucked up that it’s dangerous to sleep in the bath bc it’s one of my favorite nap places. i love being submerged in nearly boiling water it’s so cozy and every time i’ve slept in the bath it’s been amazing. and i only choked on water once

[patron-saint-of-emesis]

oh to wake up without agony

[nia-writes]

How they wake you up in the mornings~

A/N: this is based on them being off duty~~

Warnings: Slight NSFW in Prices, mentions of reader panicking.

Ghosty~

Normally: This man is up at 5am every morning, even off duty. Doesn't matter what time he slept the night before, 1am, 3am, 4am, he's still up. That being said, he won't wake you until later. Wake me up at 5am and I will fight. Unless you asked for him to wake you, he won't. But, if you did, he'd be gentle. Shaking you very lightly, and when your eyes open and focus on him, he's got a soft smile specially for you. He’s so whipped for you.

To be sweet: Simon can be very sweet~ especially once you've broken down his many, hard walls. At first, he would be unsure how to show you he loves you, so he makes you breakfast. I believe he would be a decent cook, and he would try his very best to make your favorite dishes. He would set the tray of food down on the nightstand, with tea of course, and gently start to kiss you awake. He will tickle if you refuse to wake up.

In a emergency: He's already thrown you over his shoulder and out the door before you even woken up- Doesn't matter what the emergency is, you are always his first priority.

To be a pain: Please tell me why I believe this man would just... *flip* the mattress over. Like, he'd place something on the floor so you don't get hurt, but test his patience and well.. you'll end up on the floor. He would make sure you're ok though, he's not that mean.

FOAP~~

Normally: He would always wake you up in a chaotic way. Tickling, dragging you out of bed, wrapping you up in the blanket like a burrito and throwing you over this shoulder, he does it all. He's always very gentle with you, before he attacks you in affection.

To be sweet: Johnny would be the the sweetest. He'd first start off by kissing and cuddling you, then depending on your mood, would order food or cook for you. Mornings like these are his favorite, he's a huge ball of affection and will suffocate you with it. RIP in peace

In an emergency: Oh gosh.. if you have anxiety, good luck. same bestie. He doesn't mean to overreact, but in a situation where your safety is in danger, his brain is empty as he picks you up and runs. He is very apologetic after, and will crush you with his love.

To be a pain: *Scottish music intensifies* For real, if you've still haven't woken up yet and he's having withdrawal symptoms from your smile- he will be the biggest pain. Along with the blaring music, he can, and will, starting singing loudly. He would also open the curtains and hold your hand above your head so you can't block your eyes. Good luck to you, just wake up.

John Price~

Normally: Price is a very busy man. On days when he's in a rush, he'll place a sweet kiss, rubbing your arms affectionately. But if he's home, he'll take his time. Holding you close to him, kissing your face, neck and shoulders.

To be sweet: He's extra needy in the mornings. Wakes you by caressing your body, nipping your ear. Saying soft praises while he thrusts gently into you. Afterwards, he would be super doting. Cooking, running a bath, whatever you need he will get it.

In an emergency: Very calm. It's almost creepy how calm he can be, as he uses his military voice to wake you. You know something has happened at his tone, knowing he rarely uses it with you. He's comforting still, if you're still sleepy, he will pick you up.

To be a pain: *Sighs* you won't need a shower because he's already given you one. If you ignore his warnings to wake up, he'll get a bucket, fill it to the very brim, and dump it on you. Yes, its cold water, yes, he is smiling so smug. Don't even dare to be mad with him, he warned you.

Kyle Gaz Garrick~

Normally: He would be lazy in the mornings, when he's on a mission, he doesn't get the chance to sleep or rest. He always wakes up first, smiling as he cuddles you tight. He kisses you gently until you wake up, whispering in your ear: "Mornin', love." Definitely stays in bed for hours.

To be sweet: Ah hes such a caring boyfriend~ He'd gently kiss you awake, once you've had a little soft make out session, Kyle would grab you like a princess and place you on the couch. He'd make you breakfast while cracking jokes with you. Always compliments you each morning, he finds you heavenly.

In an emergency: Very protective. He would still let you stay asleep as he picks you up and gets you to safety.

To be a pain: Bangs pots and pans together. May or may not eat your favorite food in front of you if you refuse to get out of bed, and when you do leave, he doesn't give you any. (unless you threaten to not kiss him) Or if you're a gamer, he'd tease you by saying: "Love, I'm about to play!" that would get me up so quick-

Alejandro~

Normally: This romantic, smooth man god i want him so bad. He's sweet every morning, bet he would leave the house early to grab you fresh flowers each day. He's just so in love with you. Always has to wake you with kisses, he's holding you so close to his chest. Your bodies are intertwined as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear~

To be sweet: Ugh. He's always sweet, especially in the mornings. But when he's feeling extra affectionate he writes you a love letter. You have a box fulled of them. He has so much love for you that it overflows so he has to write it down. Ale would run a bath for you, lighting candles and adding in your favorite scent. He will join you if you let him. Also needy in the mornings, but now as sweet as Price. who needs legs?

In an emergency: He is so calm when he wakes you, you'd have no idea that something happened. He doesn't want to scare or cause you to panic you so he, gently but quickly, grabs you and leaves. If you do panic, he is quick to calm you, calmly smoothing your back while whispering reassuring words.

To be a pain: I can never see him being a pain. Except for when he hasn't had your affection for a long time and you refuse to wake up. He'd lightly grab your ankle and drag you from the bed. Good luck if you're ticklish, he won't spare you. i can take him-

König~

Normally: At first, he would be hesitant to wake you. Even if you had asked him to, he would still be very anxious. He would also be scared to hurt you, he's a big tall delicious man, in his eyes you are precious. He would start by gently caressing your leg, whispering your name. And when you wake up and smile at him, he swears his heart stops.

To be sweet: He would leave early morning to get your favorite breakfast and snacks. Since he's home, he wants to spend the whole day with you, watching movies and not leaving your side. When he's back, he smiles as he caresses your cheek, his face turning red as he watches you slowly wake up.

In an emergency: Panics. He quickly calms himself and lifts you up with such ease, gently holding you as he runs. He reassures you everything is fine, not wanting to panic you, but he deals with the situation swiftly. There’s not many moments where he can spend with you, and he won’t let anything get in the way.

To be a pain: Never. He's the most sweetest amongst the men here, I can see him never being a pain to you, even if you absolutely refuse to wake up in the mornings.

[controversialcoven]

Outsiders gang headcanons

(That really aren’t headcanons because im a ponyboy fictive and just sharing random memories)

Johnny didn’t talk much, but if you got him talking about cats it would never stop, real lot of fun facts saved in his brain

Especially calico cats? He really liked calico cats, like the pattern or something

Ponyboy hated the blonde cut hair, but always left it alone since he felt like that was the last thing he’d ever have of Johnny

The Shepard gang did not like chocolate (I don’t know how)

Dally had this secret rivalry with everyone that only he knew about, where he made everything into a competition he would win

Darry is the only person to say “I wouldn’t get addicted to (insert thing), id just stop” and be right about it

Ponyboy didn’t like alcohol because it was beer, hand him a fruity drink like a strawberry daiquiri and he’ll be all over it

He still wouldn’t drink it regularly though, insert “that’s a girls drink” and he has enough addictions under his belt already

All of the Curtis siblings have chronic migraines but deny it

Soda once made himself cry in a movie by going “I will cry if this happens in the movie”

He wasn’t even sad he was borderline laughing

Pony and curly both have various scars on each other from doing extremely dumb things

Pony would say it’s stupid, but curly would call him chicken so then he’d do it anyways

Johnnys favorite place to sleep if it was late and he needed to get out was under a huge oak tree not to far from the house (if he didn’t crash at the Curtis house of course)

Speaking of the Curtis house, it was a one floor ranch house with very little rooms. It was a 4 bed 1 bath, but one of the rooms got turned into Darry’s work room

If any of the boys got asked the “bring only one thing to a deserted island” question, they’d all say hair oil with no hesitation

Half of the dirty things dally said he didn’t know what he was talking about and picked it up from a movie

If Johnny were alive today he’d have one of those raccoon tail hair styles (probably blue)

Darry would listen to Taylor swift

Pony started a running joke of saying “don’t tell darry” over everything (ex. He pours himself a soda in front of Darry and says “don’t tell Darry” as loudly has he possibly can) ((he gets jokingly shoved for this every time))

Pony is not the type to remind the teacher of homework, more like confusedly bring his homework to the teacher after class is done and walk away

Almost everyone had a specialized nickname for eachother, some that only a specific person could call them and if someone else tried they’d get the tar beaten out of them

In pony and sodas room the closet was full to the brim of snacks in emergencies

It also had an ash tray only pony knew about in case he wanted a smoke

This post is gonna be a mile long if I continue but I might do a part 2 some day

Edited a few things because I wrote it at 1am and it had issues

[huckleberrykai]

mmmm more dom kai thought bcs it's 1am and i can't sleep~

BIG BOY absolutely manhandles the fuck out of you just bcs he can. idc how tall you are this man is just Big and Strong okay

kai who's so stressed from work :( he won't ask you for anything, so when you put on that lingere that he likes and hand him the fluffy handcuffs he loves to use with you.. you're in for a long rough night >.<

he will go as hard and as long as you let him. hours of hair pulling and pushing you into different positions - always giving you little kisses and asking if you're okay after every round, running his fingers against your scalp in case he pulled a little too tight

dom kai is also Definitely possesive. he's such a cutie normally and especially in front of other people, so when they see the fingerprint bruises and splotchy red and purple hickies on your neck they almost can't believe it.. but mean horny hyuka is a sight only you are lucky enough to witness <3

we know I can't leave out how much this man loves your tummy, and best believe in the whole time you've been together you have never gone a day without at least one mark on your stomach. usually plenty littered around from him grabbing you so tight while fucking you from behind, feeling his bulge inside you and absolutely wrecking you just how you liked. also covered in hickies from the times he just can't get enough of you, teasing before he eats you out like a man starved just to over stimulate you.

he's actually the softest boyfriend in the world. bringing you flowers and plushies and your favorite snacks 24/7, cuddling with you always, and being so cute it makes his members sick ~ if you hadnt discovered it yourself you'd never guess he was the kind of guy who'd edge you to the point of tears and spit in your mouth to remind you who you belong to hehe

but that's just the way you like him !! and he'll always be your big sweet bf who takes a bath with you and feeds you animal crackers after rearranging your guts <3

[multific]

When He Comes Home Late for Date Night - Modern Warfare Men Preferences

Modern Warfare Men x Fem!Reader

John Price

John looked at his watch before letting out a sigh.

He was late. Terribly late, and yet he was still determined.

He arrived at his home, opening and closing the door before walking straight into the living room.

There, he found you sitting on the couch eating some snacks as you watched a movie.

"John! Welcome home!" you said before turning back to the movie on TV.

John stood there, stunned.

Tonight was supposed to be date night, and he was late, he was expecting to find you fuming, but you looked calm.

Unless this was a new technique.

"Hi, Darling."

"How was work?" you asked, not looking at him.

"The usual."

"I put your food in the fridge." John walked to the kitchen opening the fridge slowly, as if expecting it to explode, but nothing happened.

He pulled out the plate and re-heat the food. Smelling it.

Could it be poisoned? No, you wouldn't go that far... or would you? 

But John found the food to be delicious. He sat at the table when you joined him, opening a beer for him as you drank some water.

"Did something happen?" you asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You are usually late when something happened...another bad guy?" John let out a sigh.

"Guess you can say that. I kind of expected for you to..."

"Flip out?" you laughed as he nodded. "Well, no point in doing that, I know you couldn't do anything about it, if you are busy, it is what it is unfortunately. We will have a date when the time is right."

"You are an angel." he smiled as he finished his plate.

Even when you met, John knew he won the lottery with you. 

Simon Riley

Simon opened the door fearfully, he feared no man, but the anger of his wife was greater than any terrorist he could ever face.

After about five more minutes he opened the door only to find the house completely silent.

Your dog rushed to him, excited to see his other owner home but other than that, nothing.

"Where's your mother?" Simon asked the German Shepperd who excitedly ran off into the house. Simon headed to the kitchen for a drink and found a note on the fridge.

'Simon,

I had a feeling you would be late, I bet you were scared shitless that I would be angry. These things happen, please don't worry. 

I made you food, it's in the fridge if you want it.

I'm off to sleep now, because I am a grandma and I need my beauty sleep.

Love ya,

Your Wifey'

Simon smiled at the note before heading into the bedroom, he found you there on the bed, sleeping soundly.

He placed a kiss to your temple before he headed for a quick shower.

Johnny MacTavish

Johnny knew this wasn't good. He was supposed to be home, hours ago! He jumped out of his car and rushed into the house.

He could hear music playing somewhere in the house.

"Bonnie?"

"Bath." came a simple reply.

Johnny almost doubled over when he arrived in the bathroom. Scented candles were lit, the tub filled with water which he can only assume you put at least two bathbombs, your hair was pulled back in a bun, in one hand a glass of wine in the other your favourite book.

"Good to see you Johnny." you said sipping your wine. "I decided since you were late to turn date-night into me-night." you said before you turned back to your book.

"Bonnie, it's almost 1am."

"And? I don't have work tomorrow or should I say, today?"

"Are you not... angry?"

"Why would I be? I know your line of work, when you were an hour late, I ordered some pizza and done some skin care. It's not your fault that Captain Price likes to talk about every little detail months before a mission. Be a darling and pour me some more wine please?" 

Johnny was truly stunned. He grabbed the bottle, noting how it was half empty before he poured you some. 

"Did you say pizza? Do we have some left?"

"On the counter. Be quick because I'm almost done here, I believe you have some apologizing to do."

"Apologize? You said you are not angry."

"I'm not, but I thought it would be the perfect ending for my perfect night."

"Alright, Bonnie." he quickly kissed your cheek before he disappeared down the hallway. 

Kyle Garrick

Kyle was sure he was a dead man.

No way he is going to survive this. He was ready to lose everything.

The last time he arrived home late, he barely made it out alive with you being pregnant at the time, your hormones were crazy.

So, again, he prepared for the worst.

With your daughter seven months old, she slept through the nights. You and Kyle decided to have a quiet night and once she was asleep, you would have a nice date in the kitchen.

But of course, his job had other ideas.

Kyle entered his home quietly but it was anything but quiet inside.

He could hear the cries coming from upstairs.

He rushed up the stairs and soon found you in the hallway, pacing, trying to calm your little one.

"She just has been crying for hours now, I don't know what to do." you said as Kyle got her from your hands and placed her on his chest, slowly bouncing her.

She almost immediately calmed down and fell asleep.

"Thank you. She must have been missing you." you said as you let out a sigh, blessed silence. 

"You said she cried for hours?"

"I assume hours, I am partially deaf to my left ear now." you giggled as Kyle smiled.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"Oh, I didn't even notice the time!" you looked at the clock on the wall. "I didn't even cook, all we have are leftovers."

"Leftovers will be perfect, let me put the little Princess down." Kyle gave you a quick kiss before he went to the nursery and put his daughter to sleep. With one last kiss to her forehead, Kyle turned her night lamp on before leaving the room. 

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro hated to be late.

He was always a very punctual person.

But these things can unfortunately happen.

But he still hated it.

He wanted to go home early and spend the night with you since his mother had your children for the weekend.

Alejandro just didn't expect to get called in on a Saturday.

He was rather angry with himself but when he found you on the couch, surrounded by pizza boxes and soft drinks, his anger turned to confusion.

"Mi Amor?"

"Welcome home! I was a bit... hungry."

"I can see. Five pizza?"

"I also have ice cream and...brownies."

"The last time you ate this much was when you were pregnant." Alejandro giggled but you stayed too quiet so he also froze in his place. "Are-Are you?"

"Surprise?"

"DIOS MIO!"

"I wanted to tell you during dinner but then you were late and I got hungry! Sorry. I had it all planned too!"

"My Goddess! Three?! Are we about to have three children? I am going to be a dad again?!"

Alejandro watched you pull out an envelope and you handed it to him.

He opened and it is a paper he had seen in his life before, twice.

"You are pregnant... six weeks." he looked up at you.

"Yes. And I craved pizza, I saw they had one with fish then I saw the pepperoni and the corn and by the time I knew I had ordered five... I ordered so much they gave me free drinks and ice cream. Are you happy?"

"About the baby or the pizza?"

"...both?" He rushed to give you a hug.

"I am thrilled! I thought you would skin me for being late and here you are, My Angel, perfect, with pizza and pregnant! I couldn't ask for more." you smiled at him as he pulled you in for a kiss.

Soon, you both sat down as you ate all five of the pizza and watched movies.

Maybe being late wasn't such a bad thing.

König

König was ready for the worst.

He didn’t meant for his training to go on for so long. He lost track of time once he was practicing his shooting.

With a rose bouquet in his hand he entered the house, scared of what he might find inside.

He was prepared for you being angry, he was prepared for you punching him.

What he wasn’t prepared for is you sleeping soundly with your cat cuddled up to your side. 

He took a step forward only to check on you and the floor made a noise under his weight.

It woke you up a little.

“Liebling, it’s only me.”

“Ah, okay, baby. Long day?” you asked, not even opening your eyes.

“Yes.”

“Alright, shower and cuddle.” you said before you turned back, ready to sleep once more.

König did exactly as you said, he showered and soon joined you. 

“Are you not angry with me?” he asked as you moved to sleep on his chest.

“No. I kinda forgot that today was supposed to be date night. I went shopping and came home late.”

He only nodded. At least you weren’t waiting for him.

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~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||When You Are Under the Weather||Sickness Comfort

It's a pure torture to be unable to do your usual chores or take care of yourself the tiredness is overwhelming. So, take it Easy. Though, I know the illness would recover if Alastor was there in your room.

You didn't ever feel the need to be worried about your body needing extra sleep, because the tiredness was overwhelming, or your body failed to perform the chores it usually did.

The Early October season, your father would run to the supermarket, to pick out medicine, and get fresh herbs to feed you green tea every evening, or if it got too bad you would drink them two times a day.

It was like he expected you to catch the virus. Well, that much hasn't changed, how nostalgic. But you really wished after in hell, your body would develop the immunity after being in a place that is clearly not for comfort.

You had gotten really lucky on that note also, really grateful for that. Alastor, ever the charmer.

He took really good care of you, it would sometimes strike worry that he is a sinner demon those red eyes, his sclera, irises are a proof of how many souls work under him.

But you had never found such a safe place than in his arms, although he isn't always for physical assurance.

"No, I'm not going anywhere today My dear, my schedule is all cleared up, maybe later in the evening to treat the sinners to a broadcast, but other than that I'm all yours." Alastor, changed the cloth on your forehead, "It's such a lovely thing the age-old napkin dipped in cold water to ease the heat!" He commented,

"Alastor?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I'm a little hungry..."

"Say no more My dear, although you did worry me when you refused to eat my well-cooked dish this morning."

You heaved a sigh of relief, he was astonishingly patient, it made your heart feel like a swarm of butterflies danced there, it also made your stomach sink a little when you felt like you were bothering him too much."

"My dear, sit up now." He instructed,

You pushed yourself, still feeling your head pound bullets, you received the cream soup with a grateful smile which made Alastor push your hair behind your ear,

"I'm really sorry for bother--"

"Nonsense my dear, it doesn't feel too good seeing you in such a weak state." He honestly replied.

The day passed, by watching some movies despite, Alastor's Proclaims of not wanting to indulge, "In Noisy picture box activities." He did, for you, I told you he was a total sweetheart.

He prepared a bath for you, and changed the sheets so you could sleep better.

The entire gesture made your eyes well up in tears, only for Alastor to shush, and as the last step brought you a little closer to him, yes, you were ridiculously short.

"No one had ever taken care of me, like this... except at.. m-my home... It's so... I miss this, so much" You sobbed,

"Come now my dear, I'll take care of you as long as you need. I'll cancel my broadcast if that's what you need."

"But I want another audio."

"Shall it be a little different?" Alastor asked, brushing your hair, to distract you for a while.

"Different?"

"Since, you like my voice which is very flattering I think you can add this to your again very flattering collection."

The movie finished at 1am, before you fell asleep, and a few minutes later Alastor just lightly opened the door to check on you, filled your water bottle before closing the door.

[concentrateandpush]

Request/idea fiction: an intimate scene of only the couple homebirth, where pushing is long? Thanks

We met around a year and a half ago and as a lesbian couple, nobody expected us to announce our pregnancy at our wedding which happened a year after we met. I guess we just both knew what we wanted and figured waiting would be pointless.

My wife is carrying, I’m desperate to carry too, but she’s slightly older and so, we compromised. What we didn’t compromise on was the delivery. Blair wanted a very intimate delivery, just her and I. I’ve given birth before, a long time ago, back when I was young and stupid but rest assured, my son went to a perfect home.

It’s 1am and we’ve just eaten our weight in pizza and spicy noodles, we’re watching TikTok in bed and Blair turns to me with a look of concern. “Lena, how much pain is too much pain for just a twinge?” she asks and I look back with curiosity. “I guess.. I mean-“ I stop and laugh “Baby, has it started?” I ask. “I think.. I think I’m having labour pains” she says nervously.

We didn’t want anything fancy, just the bath for water, the bed with a towel and the coziness of our cottage.

“Okay, you’re okay” I nod “let me get you a hot water bottle and I’ll get you comfortable” I smile reassuringly. “Don’t you dare leave me” she says stubbornly and I roll my eyes “come here” I whisper as she rests her head on my chest, whimpering quietly. “Shh, shh, shh” I whisper “you’re okay, everything is going smoothly” I add.

The contractions are dull and achy but I see the struggle she’s having, so at around 4am, I suggest us both sleeping, which at first, she absolutely refuses to try, but after a few back and foot rubbies, she agrees.

It’s not until 10.30am that I wake to her rubbing her belly in her sleep, moaning relatively loudly, but not even waking herself up. “Okay, okay sweetheart..” I nod and take over the rubbing as she opens her eyes slowly. “You’re doing great mamma” I smile reassuringly. “Mmm, baby” she moans “it hurts, it’s hurting me” she grumbles as she reaches down to touch herself. “I’m not wet, so my waters are still intact” she says almost trying to convince herself she’s got ages to go.

I sit up slowly and kiss her forehead before throwing my hair up and I climb between her legs, resting my head on her thigh. “You look sore” I sigh, looking at her tummy. She just nods before reaching for my hand “it’s coming” she whispers and I nod, stroking her thigh gently. She paces her breaths perfectly as she takes the contraction in her stride. “That’s right, in and out, slowly and gently” I nod. I can tell it’s intensifying because she’s moaning with out even realising on an out breath.

“Baby I need..” she mutters “I need to get in water” she says quickly and I nod reassuringly before heading out to run a bath. I know it won’t be long now, I can just feel her getting closer.

As the bath finishes filling, I go in and take both of her hands, steadying her before guiding her into the bathroom and lowering her into the bath. I take a cup and pour it on her bump, taking it all in because it’ll be the last time. “I want him out so badly, but I’ll miss this” she sighs and I laugh “you’ll miss the sickness? And the heartburn? And the fact I’ve not been able to touch your boobs for 9 months?!”. “Oh baby, you know what I mean” she laughs, knowing I’m teasing.

“Mmmm” she moans, going ridged “I..” she starts before humming a low pitched tone, cradling her perfect bump. “Let it out, good job” I whisper. “Ba-baby!” She screams as I see the water turn cloudy. “Was that-“ she starts and I nod “yep”. “So, my waters have gone?” She asks to clarify and I rub her leg, excitedly “mhm, baby’s coming”.

I find my hand between her legs and resting on her opening before sliding a finger in and grinning “sweetheart, you’re almost ready to push” I say, surprised. “N-no” she shakes her head but I chuckle “I’m here, I won’t leave your side” I say calmly. “You’re doing it, you’re bringing him into the world” I smile.

As she feels a contraction, I see her grip the handles of the bath ready to push and I rub her back gently. “You ready?” I ask and she nods before taking a deep breath and pushing her chin to her chest. She’s silent, completely silent, but focused and with every second that goes by, her face gets redder. I can tell she’s stopped pushing because she lets out an exhausted release of her breath. “Ngah.. I.. I can’t” she shakes her head and I reassure her “you can, you’re doing it”.

“N-no water” she shakes her head and I get up, slowly helping her out of the bath and back to the bedroom. Every step gets harder and as we get to the foot of the bed she stops “again” she mutters and I get down, letting her lean on my shoulders. Her legs shake as she gives a big, long push, letting her inhibitions go as she squeals at the end. “Good job baby, let’s get you comfortable” I say calmly as I lay her down.

“Okay, you’re doing well, we’re going to stay here and just work baby out together okay” I say softly as she opens her legs and I sit cross legged between them. “What if I can’t?” She asks and I give her a cheeky wink “if anyone can, it’s you”.

A few minutes go by and she looks up, her eyes begging for me to help as she grips the back of one leg. “Pull this back and push down for me” I say softly as I watch her begin to birth. She nods and grits her teeth as she bears down, her stomach tightening and her legs spreading further. “That’s it” I smile as the head slowly peaks, until she stops, spluttering and trying to get herself together.

I think it hits her here, because she starts to pant and breathe faster, trying to get rid of the pain. It doesn’t take long until she’s hard at work again, pulling both legs this time and scrunching her face up as she gets frustrated, pushing with all her might. “Why isn’t he coming?!” She cries out. “He’s coming, it’s just the staying that’s hard” I explain.

“Pillows” she says bluntly and I prop her up so that she’s almost sat with her legs opened up in front of her. She’s beautiful. She takes sips of water as she rubs her bump gently. “Ready to go again?” I ask and she nods, taking my hands and pulling as leverage. “Gaaah” she grunts before panting and going straight in again, trying everything she can to get the strength to push. “C-come out” she grunts through gritted teeth, pushing and pushing the hardest she can muster.

“Okay, we’ve got a bit of head” I smile “but I think we need to get some rope, you can pull on that” I say before getting a dressing gown tie and looping it around the headboard. “Here we go, pull, as hard as you need as you push” I say with a reassuring smile.

She holds on and waits until the next contraction before taking a deep breath and this time, letting it all out. It’s almost a growl more than a grunt, there are fluids pouring around the head as she edges our baby closer and closer, her lips going white with the stretching. “Keep that coming mamma” I coach. She takes a deep breath and screams as she pushes again, this time bringing herself to a full crown.

“Baby you’re doing it” I cry “you’re crowning” I mutter. She’s panting, wriggling in pain as she holds this giant head between her legs. “You see him?” She checks and I nod, bringing her hand down, letting her feel him as he enters the world.

She starts to get up and I know by her movements she’s getting on her hands and knees. “Easy” I remind her before she gets into position.

“Get ready” she mumbles into the pillow as I see her hand reaching up between her legs to keep contact with baby. The scream she lets into the pillow is so loud and I can feel the strength she’s pouring in but the head doesn’t budge. “Harder baby” I tell her and she cries “I can’t” she whispers. “Of course you can, try for me” I say with a little reassuring stroke of the leg.

She lets out a low, grunt that last forever and during that forever, the head pops out with what seems like litres of water. The panic and change in Blair’s breathing shows the effort she made and I just climb up to hold her into me. “You’ve done the hardest, baby, you’ve done the hardest bit” I say with excitement but equal amounts of compassion.

“Ready to meet him?” She asks me and I nod, watching her reach behind her legs and pull them back with a grunt like moan. “Work with mama” she mutters as she pushes. “Come on, puush baby” I whisper as I see movement. “Gaahhhh!” She cries out. “Baby, you.. you did it” I sob as I pick up our newborn, bringing him straight to her chest.

“You did it” I cry, just taking it all in as I nuzzle into them both. “I did.. but you’re doing it next time” she says with a laugh

[vaggietheangel]

Hi could you do headcanons on what the residents do before bed? Also do you think when curfew hits alastor shuts down everything until morning

Hey there hun! 🩷

Curfew is 12am. Charlie wants all of the hotel patrons to be home and checked in early. Hell is basically the purge 24/7 but it gets worse at night. It's mainly for their protection but also to make sure they aren't the ones causing trouble.

Angel usually gets home at 4am despite the curfew. Charlie knows he has a busy rough job that leads to late hours. So she doesn't punish him, she just worries.

Angel usually has a whisky with Husk, and then a cigarette do he can wind down and relax after a busy day.

Angel takes a long bath to clean up and relax after work. Husk keeps an eye on him to make sure he doesn't fall asleep in the bath. Then they cuddel.

Husk is usually always in the hotel. But he goes to sleep really late and them wakes up at 1pm. Most of the time he sleeps on the bar.

Niffty goes to bed early. She works a lot and requires a lot or energy for her job. She gives a few bedrooms a light clean before heading to bed around 10pm.

Sir Pentious works late into the night on his invitations. He has the safety of the hotel from other sinners, but risks blowing his face up with his machines. He events heads back to his room around 1am.

Vaggie brushes her hair 100 times before going to bed. She wears a silk night dress and listens to true crime podcasts to help her unwind.

Charlie tries to get as much work done as she can before she goes to sleep. Charlie sleeps in Spongebob pyjamas and watches cartoons before bed.

Alastor dosent sleep. He finds a dark corner of the room and then stands there for hours. Waiting for someone to wake up so he can talk to them.

[megmischief]

Elliott x FemReader fluff - Finding out you're pregnant

T RATED

TW: Throwing up.

It had been a long night. You had been tossing and turning since 1am. You couldn't sleep. Nausea was getting the better of you, and you weren't sure why.

"Are you alright, my love?" Elliott rolled over, pulling the bed sheets over you once more. He appeared concerned.

You looked up at him and nuzzled in closer. His scent brought you comfort despite your distress. "Yeah...I'm good. I just haven't been able to sleep all night and I'm just...not feeling right. I've also been peeing all night and I can't get warm..."

Elliott moved down to peck the top of your head. He pulled you into a gentle embrace. "I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Is there anything I can do to help?" Elliott places his forehead on yours to check your temperature. You can't help but feel yourself get hotter as a faint blush appears across your cheeks.

"Um... a bath would be really nice, please. It might help me feel comfortable enough to sleep again." You sat up, putting on your slippers and stretching with your arms up in the air. As you do that, Elliott reaches over to tickle your sides. Elliott knew what he was doing. He knew your sides were ticklish and was trying to bring a smile back to your face.

As you begin to laugh, you feel another wave of nausea approach. You abruptly rip the remaining bed sheets off and run to the toilet.

"Oh my god! Is everything okay?!" Elliott panics, being the drama queen he is.

"Yeah...I'm fine..." You groan as you begin to throw up into the toilet.

Elliott grabs your hair to hold it for you while he rubs your back. "Hey... you have no fever, and you've been peeing a lot. You're complaining of nausea, too..."

You peer up from the toilet bowl; your eyes glassy from throwing up. "Hmm...yeah?"

"My dear, how long has it been since your last period...?" Elliott, as dramatic as he was, he was always observant. That was one of the many things you loved about him. It was this that proved to you he cared about you. He always picked up on things no matter how small.

You shrugged. "I dunno...I think I'm about three weeks late." You replied with a blank, clueless look upon your face.

Elliott laughed at your cluelessness. He always thought that was adorable. "Well, well, well." He continued to rub your back as you began dry heaving once more. "I'm just going to pop to Dr. Harvey's to grab some bits for your nausea. I'll grab some meds to help you sleep, too. Are there any special requests for snacks and drinks?" Elliott stood up and walked to the bathroom door with a small smirk on his face.

You still appeared clueless as to his intentions. Therefore, shook your head. "No, thank you...and you don't need to do that, Smelliott..." 'Smelliott' was a nickname you had been calling him since your second date. He had just arrived back to his beach hut after helping Willy sort out his stock of fish for the shop. Hence, the nickname.

He giggled and walked back over to give you a peck on the cheek. "I inist. I will be back in half an hour or so. I'll run you a bath in the meantime." Elliott began to run you a nice warm bath using your favourite bath bomb for good measure. After he had finished, he helped you in and grabbed you a glass of water. "Right, I'll be back soon."

You grumbled in protest and sunk your face into the bubbles. "Mmm'kay...I love you."

"I love you too." A brief, gentle smile appeared to across his lips as he walked out.

___________________________________________

"I'm back, my dear!" Elliott called as he walked back into your tiny farm cottage.

You were curled up on the sofa trying to get warm. The bath had helped to soothe your nausea. However, you were still tired and uncomfortable. "Hey..." You replied, softly.

Elliott walked over and sat on the floor beside you. He began stroking your hair out of your face. He loved to see you relax as he did this. "So...I've spoken with Dr. Harvey about your symptoms..." Elliott paused, taking time to think about how to form his next sentence. "Harvey sent me back with these." He looks up at you with a somewhat scared and excited expression.

Your eyes widen as you realise what he's holding. "You can't be serious." You were dumbfounded.

"Darling, you are late for your period. You have morning sickness. All signs pointed to this." Elliott places the pregnancy tests in front of you. "Harvey said to do these and let him know the results. Once we know whether or not it's positive, we can go from there." Placing a kiss on your cheek, he helps you to open up the box. He reads through exactly what to do and reads it back to you.

"Hmm...okay...I think I got this..." You were terrified. You never expected yourself to be in this situation. You loved Elliott, but you were never sure about having kids. A sense of panic washes over you as you make your way over to the bathroom. You follow the exact instructions and then place the tests in the sink.

As you emerge from the bathroom, Elliott looks up at you. "You done, my dear?"

"Mhmm..." You knod.

Elliott makes his way over to you, and you both make your way back into the bathroom to wait. Elliott appears uneasy as he sits on the edge of the bath tapping his feet. "This is the longest two minutes of my life." He nervously giggles.

You were pacing around the bathroom. Thoughts were rushing through your head. How would you look after the farm if you were pregnant?

Elliott hops up. "That should be about time. Shall we look?"

You both walk back over to the sink and peer over at the tests. Two positives.

Elliott just stands there stunned. Words usually came easily to him. However, he could no longer find them. You look up at him with a mix of panic and happiness, and Elliott looks back.

"My dear, you have just made me the happiest man alive for the second time!" As he says this, a look of sheer glee spreads across his face as he grabs you into a tight embrace. "Thank you...thank you so much..." He nuzzles into your neck as he begins to cry tears of joy.

"Thank you too...Smelliott..."

[fishedeyelenz]

Billy Lenz headcanons

Fuck it, it's 1AM, I don't want to go to sleep, let's overthink this dumb attic man. Most of these are from the vault I use for reference when writting for him

Generally has a very musky, dusty scent to him. He likes feeling clean, though he has trouble keeping up with his hygiene. He bathes when he can/remembers, but most of the time he will be smelling of sweat, dust, mildew and sometimes cat food. So best case scenario -he smells like an old man. Worst case scenario -he smells like something died in a bowl of cat kibble.

Has very chapped lips, chews on them out of nervous habbit. I'd a bit better with keeping up with his dental hygiene, but it can happen that he forgets to brush his teeth for a day or two. His teeth are naturally kinda yellowish though. Has a gap between his two front teeth.

Has a staring problem (no shocker there) he has very wide hazel eyes which have an ability creep people out even in normal circumstances.

Likes to keep his hair relatively longer, going under his chin to shoulder length. Likes playing with his hair, twirling it and scratching his scalp to calm himself down. Doesn't like it too long though, it irritates him when he has hair brushing over his back. Has soft curly hair, thick but most of the time it's greasy and tangled and matted up like a rats nest. Can clean up nicely though.

Has a decent amount of body hair, and has a very patchy stubble. He shaves with stolen razors, so he probably doesn't have the sharpest materials to work with. He does have sideburns though, which he likes to take care of

His green sweater is his comfort item, and he has a very hard time parting with it, even when it reeks like something died in it. Probably buys multiple pairs of the greens sweater if/when he has the means for it.

Near constantly has a cold, doesn't layer up at all when the weather gets cooler. His hands are cold and dry. If he's lucky he has an absolutely damp and snot-filled handkerchief in his pocket, but he usually wipes his nose into his sleeves. He's fucking gross like that.

Drools a lot, spits while he talks, most likely has some disorder that makes him salivate in large quantities, but he isn’t gonna get it checked out.

Is afraid of needles, doctors and dentists. just being in a hospital-like environment makes him anxious, it reminds him too much about his stints in psych wards and asylums. Doesn't like receiving any sort of injections. Dislikes taking pills as well, but he can put up with that at least.

Very messy eater, not only chewing really loudly, he also manages to spill just about everything over himself. Can cook simple meals, and can help assist in making more complicated meals, but the process will be messy. Most of the time he is not capable of cooking, and so he steals food from the residence he is squatting in. Doesn’t eat a lot when in survival mode, but if he's in an environment he is comfortable with/is being taken care of, he will eat ravenously and a lot too. Has a fast metabolism when he's young, so he doesn’t put on that much weight, but when he starts approaching middle age it will slow down. In his forties he will develop a dad bod if his circumstances allow (DILF Billy supremacy).

Sensitive to light, prefers being in the dark. The darkness is safer and familiar to him, he feels very exposed in light and open spaces. Also prefers stuffier and more claustrophobic environments, and he most likely has mild agoraphobia. Lights also sometimes hurt his eyes as well.

Sensitive to loud noises, ironically enough. Is easily overwhelmed in noisy environments. Likes to repeat things he hears, very good at voice mimicry, likes words with pronounced "t" sounds in them. Has echolocalia.

If he weren’t an unstable murderer I could see him becoming an actor or a voice actor. Depends if he wants to be seen or not, because I think he would gladly take on roles on TV if they wouldn’t credit him. This man craves attention but is at the same time afraid of receiving it lol. Attention can overwhelm him easily. Could see him becoming a theater actor as well.

Has a big oral fixation problem. Chews on zippers of his jackets, pencil tips and just about anything he could stick in his mouth. Chews on his nails and bites down on his fingers when he's nervous/thinking.

Also stims with his hands, claps when he's excited. Imitates playing a piano when listening to music. Twirls his hair, fidgets with loose threads of his sweater. Sadly when he's overwhelmed/having a meltdown he grips and pulls on his hair, sometimes punching the sides of his head. Likes to rock himself as well.

Near sighted and in desperate need of glasses, but he doesn’t particularly like wearing them and continuously loses them. Needs them only for reading, but as he grows older his vision will get worse and he will have to get a standard pair. He thinks he looks like a nerd when he wears them-he is right (🤓<-Billy)

Loves movies, loves Kubric especially, but watching a film with him can be a grueling experience if you don’t enjoy somebody talking over and narrating the whole film. Especially if there's food like popcorn involved, he will talk with his mouth full, chewing loudly.

Has a sweet tooth. Will eat just about any cakes, candies, treats and fruits. Loves strawberries in particular.

Can't stand cigarette smoke and alcohol. Is very judgmental of people who partake in them. Is kinda a judgmental and mean person in general lol.

I’m sorry folks but this man does not like Christmas lol. Probably has some very bad memories related to the holiday that cause him to burst mentally during that time. Doesn’t care for other Holidays either, except for maybe Valentine's day if he happens to have an object of affection at the moment.

Has eaten cat food

Raised rats as pets before he stole Claude for himself, who proceeded to eat all of them.

[littlemelaninfics]

I love 9-1-1! So could you write an incest smut where Reader Diaz is Eddie's little sister, who lived with her brother to take care of Christopher. While Christopher and Eddie, reader is a secret cam girl. Eddie didn't know until he took a day off and found out about his sister's secret

(repost bc of the community tag)

This one got me h-word on isle 14

part ii

tw: incest, voyeurism

•Eddie loved his home unit. It consisted of the two people he loved the most and it was actually working and functional

•Christopher loved having his aunt around because you took some of the tension away from him and his dad when it got too bad

•Speaking of which, Chris is grounded for three weeks from his game console and you’ve been racking your brain all day trying to keep him entertained

•It was just you two for the most part because Eddie had some insane hours at the firehouse, but he never missed the important stuff and that’s what mattered most

•It was 1am when you got a message from one of your regular viewers. He was offering $300 for pics of you cosplaying as a gamer girl, so you did

•You did your hair and makeup before changing into your metallic bathing suit and grabbing your headset

•Eddie had gotten you your own so you could properly play with Chris. You did however need his chair and set up

•Since it was displayed in the living room, you had to be careful of the time so your brother wouldn’t walk in and listen for the sleeping child in the next room

•You sauntered out there and turned on his console. You realized you can get to the internet on here and if you clear the history and delete the pictures, no one would be the wiser

•You set up your phone and started taking sexy pictures and videos of you fingering yourself in the chair

•Once satisfied, you uploaded them to the console and logged into your cam account. You went live for about an hour and a half before calling it a night

•You said your goodbyes and logged off. But before you could even properly stand, you heard the keys in the lock

•You jumped up, turned off the console and the light and made the fastest beeline to your room possible

•Right when you closed your door is when you heard the front one open and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief

•You took off the look for that night and went to sleep

•The next day you hear Eddie yelling and you jump out of bed to see what’s going on

• “Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on?”

•Eddie stood there with arms crossed, “You wanna tell her or should I?”

•Christopher just sighed and rolled his eyes, “I was trying to show dad a cool video and it said I was logged on last night, but I wasn’t! Dad I swear.”

• “I don’t want to hear it. Go get ready to go to Tony’s. Which you’re lucky enough to still get to do.”

•He got off the couch and went to put his shoes on and went to meet his friend downstairs

• “Can you believe that kid? All the lying and secrets,” he said turning off the console.

• “He’s 13, Edmundo. He’ll grow out of it.”

•You felt bad for letting your little nephew take the rap, but it was better him than you. Plus he didn’t get in anymore trouble, so what’s the real harm?

•Your phone buzzed and it was another subscriber asking for fresh shower pics. You didn’t have any in your folder, so you’ll actually have to take a shower

•You got off the couch and made your way to the bathroom, leaving Eddie to his own devices

•Eddie sighed and looked around at what to do when his eyes landed back on the console. He was curious to see what Christopher was viewing so late in the night

•He turned it back on and logged in. He went to the history and his face immediately got red with anger

•Not only was his son lying to him, but now he was watching porn? LIVE porn at that

•He clicked the link and it took him to a different screen…a screen that showed your profile

•He sat up in his seat, not sure what exactly he was looking at. He clicked the latest thumbnail and saw his little sister, spread eagle in their living room, getting herself off for strangers

•He watches a couple minutes of it before you moaned and he felt his cock twitch. He was taken off guard by his body’s response to his little sister, but goddamn it he was only human

•He began palming his hardening cock through his sweatpants when he heard the shower turn off

•Eddie quickly signed off and acted like nothing happened. He got off the couch and began roaming around aimlessly until he saw your bedroom door cracked

•He snuck over and placed his eye right in the crack, watching you lotion your still soaking body and change

•He never knew you looked so beautiful doing the simplest things like clasping your bra. He suddenly grew envious of the men that get to watch you and have you all to themselves

•He knew it could never be him, but that was honestly part of the fun

I’m definitely going to do a part two to this!

[yippeecahier]

AITA for insisting on my husband moving his stuff?

This is the kind of thing I'd put on Reddit but with all thats going on, I'm sticking to Tumblr. So I (25 NB) got married to my husband (25 M) on June 24th this year and havent even been married a whole month. We'd talked about boundaries and communication and have had multiple sessions with a premarital and now marital counselor since we got engaged in March. Before that, we dated for 2 years and have known each other and been friends off and on since the 6th grade.

When it comes to boundaries, we have two that are pretty much unshakeable: I need consistent 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the dark (with either white noise or relative silence) and going to bed before midnight, and my husband needs alone time to play games for a few hours a day where no one will walk in (he has scopophobia from childhood trauma where his parents and siblings would barge in and even remove the door and fistfight him so now he interprets pairs of eyes as threats and wont use the university library for this reason; I wish I was joking, but I'm not, and my MIL confirmed this is true because she had my husband as an unstable teen and did, in fact, fist fight him in her 20s). I always thought these were both reasonable boundaries and could be worked with given compromise, but this is somehow more contentious than I thought.

I'm currently living in his 1 bed, 1 bath apartment. I was living out of my suitcase up to and a week after our wedding until our counselor told him he had to make space for me; much to his chagrin, I invited my mom over to help me because I was so overwhelmed by all the boxes from wedding gifts and overwhelmed from the wedding (which is why we didn't leave on a honeymoon right away). Our counselor, and now my parents (who are medical professionals), and two of our friends, say he needs to move his computer out of the bedroom.

I have autism, IBS, and a history of mental illnesses. He will lock the door to the bedroom that contains the only bathroom for hours at a time and take a long time to respond to texts. I will not be able to sleep in the bedroom or use the toilet for long periods of time. I'm exhausted and overwhelming from having to walk to the local stores to use the bathroom, and none of them are 24 hours so after 11pm I'm exhausted and having a really bad time. I live in the downtown area of a big city with him, so I cannot simply find a bush to pee/poo in. On one very humiliating occasion I used an empty food container to eliminate, and threw my waste in the trash because he wouldn't respond to his phone or unlock the door despite my panicked banging.

The stress of it, and being deprived of sleep past 1am every night only to be woken up by our neighbors at 9am is making my IBS worse and has triggered multiple meltdowns and psych episodes the likes of which I haven't seen for >2 years (including trying to walk to the train tracks to kms to escape the hell my brain was putting me through because I wasnt giving it the sleep it needs).

On one particularly bad incident, I was tired and took a nap in the morning after having a meltdown over seeing a dead cockroach in the kitchen during breakfast when my husband set multiple blaring alarms at 5am because he is a deep sleeper even though we went to bed at 2am (I did blow the situation out of proportion, but I was also sleep deprived and actively psychotic as a result). When my husband came back, he came in guns blazing and pulled me out of bed demanding to see the roaches, and expressed frustration that I went back to bed when I was freaking out about the roach over the phone some 15 minutes prior. We got in an argument about if we need to put in a request for pest control, and at one point, I yelled, "FINE, YOU’RE RIGHT AND I'M WRONG," and put my hands on his throat because I got triggered into an episode. I was shaking and asked to leave the conversation multiple times before it got to that point, but he wouldn't let me leave the kitchen - and pulled me back by my arm - until I'd heard a piece of his mind; that combined with waking up suddenly in the middle of my nap to an angry spouse after another successive night of sleep deprivation caused me to become violent whereas I'd never been violent to others in any episode before.

I regret it and apologized fervently and am trying everything I can to prevent that from happening again. I am not a typically violent person, and previous psychotic episodes only resulted in self-harm, not putting my hands on others. However, him not getting with the program I need to stay sane isn't helping. I started screaming and hitting myself during this last meltdown today over coming to a locked bathroom/bedroom door for the 3rd time after being out of the house for him to play games for 6 hours despite having another stress induced IBS episode, and immediately got back in my car to drive to my parent's house without any of my stuff.

I was deprived of sleep for the 3rd night in a row because I'm doing all the housework so he can have his games alone. His gaming computer is in the bedroom, which is locked, and he refuses to listen to requests to move the computer out of the bedroom or unlock the door because of his scopophobia. I can technically sleep on the futon, but I cannot brush my teeth or go to the bathroom because the bathroom is in the bedroom, and sleeping on the futon is interrupted because he refuses to sleep alone and will come out of the bedroom, wake me, and take me to bed with him at 3am.

Yesterday he got crabby because he "didn't get a break," and I told him I felt "hurt because it sounds to me like [he was] not grateful for the two hours I spent cleaning the apartment and dishes" the latter of which is his job, "to give [him] 2 hours to play games," to which he responded that he needs "at least 4 hours," "with the door closed and locked," and "complete silence," and my housework is "too noisy." This does not make sense to me because he cannot hear his phone notifications when I call or text to use the bathroom, and he is playing music. Moreover, knowing that the vacuum cleaner sets us both off, my parents gifted me a Roomba for cleaning that is much quieter, but he won't help to set it up.

He keeps suggesting compromises with my mom, our friends, and our marital counselor. None of them have worked, and none of them he has kept up.

1) My mom offered to buy him an L-shaped desk for him when she comes over next, but now he refuses to have her come over and doesn't want to spend money on an L-shaped desk. He also wants to use the L-shaped desk for everything BUT the tower.

2) We bought an IKEA desk for $10 at Goodwill and got cables for him to move his keyboard, screen, and mouse out of the room, but he refuses to move the tower (which has RGB that won't turn off while he's using it) out of the bedroom. Then, the door will not completely close because of all the cables running through it and I hear his music, games, and keyboard. His reason for not moving the tower? His dad (my FIL) cut the ethernet cable to the exact length for it to be in the bedroom and my husband wants to be able to lock the door to the bedroom and bathroom during the day (which he can stay there and play games all day, but don't lock the door to the only bathroom, I have literal IBS that will NOT wait. I already soiled a pair of shorts.)

3. My friend stayed with us for a bit while in transitory housing, which is how he justified locking the door (to masturbate without being walked in on). But even after our friend showed him how to turn on notifications from favorite contacts when he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb, he still silences his phone and locks the door.

4. We negotiated together with the marital counselor a possible compromise where I "own" the bedroom for 12 hours at night and he "owns" the bedroom for 12 hours during the day so that he can play games during the day at noon instead of at, say, 2am. He suggested implementing this the week after our wedding. It didn't happen, I brought it up with the counselor. He says it's because he's "on vacation" but we'll implement come July. It's a week into July and it still hasn't happened. I told him I need a functioning sleep schedule for my job two weeks BEFORE I start or I'll have a psych episode at work and get fired, and he agreed, and I still came home to a locked bedroom/bathroom door TODAY.

5) We talked about getting a two bedroom condo that's a walking distance from his university. His assets plus my salary (I'm the breadwinner right now while he's in college but he was in the military and has $40k in savings and $50k in stocks), and we qualify for up to $400k on our mortgage. He refuses to close on the 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo I requested that's a 5 minute walk from his classes because it's "too expensive" at $375k, and he insists on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom place for $315k that's a 15 minute walk from his campus. Even though I told him my IBS requires I have access to a bathroom at all times, he still will spend over an hour on the toilet watching YouTube even if he's not "sequestering" to play games. I won't hear a peep from him about sharing a bathroom to save $60k unless he changes his behavior. This also is the driving force behind why I want to try to move into a two bedroom condo ASAP, even though our lease ends in mid-November. He refuses because he doesn't want to pay rent for the apartment while we have a mortgage OR sublease/AirBnB it OR break the lease. I have argued with support from our realtor, mortgage broker, and my parents, that now is the time to find and close on a home because it's a several months long process, especially since we're using VA loans.

Moreover, his ass has the audacity to repeatedly twist my arm about having a baby. When we first got married, I said, "Sure, we can have kids; but first I have to find a way to be mentally stable without medications for a year straight while living with you before I can carry a viable pregnancy. I've been stable and unmedicated before, but that stability requires consistent sleep, a regular and highly regimented schedule, and consistent vigorous exercise to work." We're nowhere near that, (I fucking put my hands on him during an episode and even my OBGYN said given my medical history its not a question of if I'll get postpartum depression but when,) and he keeps asking me to schedule an appointment to change my birth control to something other than an IUD.

I'm an adult, I can leave my husband alone for 4 hours in complete silence with some effort and some frustration, but A BABY fucking won't, because it can't. It needs your attention every 2 hours to eat or poop or what have you. His kid cannot find something else to do like I can to leave him in silence most of the day unless they're in school (by age 5 and only during the schoolyear) or can drive (by age 16), but definitely not all night at any point between their birth and them moving out (given current economic trends, this wont be economically feasible until our kid is 30). Plus, the kid would occupy our 2nd bedroom in the condo and then I'd have to figure out how to get sleep in my husband's room and (share a bathroom if we go with his insisitence on a 1 bathroom cheaper condo) despite my IBS with TWO human beings, when sharing with one is hard enough.

We agreed to getting me a service animal from a program in Canada I'd been on the waiting list for since 2019, and the animal is available for me to take home this summer. I am going to Canada by myself because my husband doesn't have a passport, but we're meeting in New York to drive home together in a rental car with the animal. My parents understandably think this is an additional stressor since now I'm taking care of not only me and my husband, but also an animal. But I need something to step in and perform tasks to mitigate/alert to psych episodes.

Today he hugged me and told me he loved me and was so glad he "married [me]" because I "enhance [his] life every moment," but it feels like lip service when he won't move the computer or implement any of the possible solutions we came up with above. I wish I could say the same. I feel like my life is actually worse since I moved in. I'm contemplating quitting the new job, going back to my old one, and living with my parents until he can get his shit together enough that I can actually sleep and use the bathroom like a normal person.

I can't live with him like this, or one of us will get very badly hurt. I start work in two weeks, and need to be at work by 7am every day, so I cannot be stable enoigh to keep a job if I'm having psych episodes because I'm going to bed after midnight whenever he's feeling kind enough to remember me and unlock the bedroom door. I need two weeks to reset my sleep schedule. He says he understands after I scared him when I put my hands on him, and after each and every sleep-deprivation induced meltdown, but I feel like he really doesn't because none of his behavior has changed.

You are welcome to reblog to give an in-depth response if it doesn't fit in replies or DM me if you want it to be private. I'm desperate for help. He's not a bad guy. Everyone says that it's very apparent he loves me. He's my best friend, and I love him, but my health, sanity, and, in turn, our marriage are at stake if this doesn't get solved and soon.

[elizabethplaid]

early start to notes - june 5, 2024

My throat has felt a little sore on-and-off the past few days. I thought it was from not drinking enough liquids, as I lounged in bed. The side that hurts is opposite to what side I lay on, so my sinuses drain away from that. (IE there's not enough snot on the inside to keep it happy, so it's drying up and getting sore.)

Thinking I should dig out a small cooler, so I can put cold drinks in it and keep it by my bedside.

I've only been up since 1am; pretty tired when I went to bed at 11:30. I mainly dragged myself out of bed so I could drink something. Not quite 4am, and the sun is starting to rise. Will take meds and go back to bed. Still not feeling hydrated enough to counter the throat pain. Don't want to take a cough drop, if I'm going back to bed, though.

I keep daydreaming about taking a long bath in a big tub. Maybe part of me misses swimming - floating in the pool, having my ears below the water. Showers feel like there's a time limit, so you're not wasting water. Even if a bath got rid of the pressure of a time limit, there's plenty of other things that weigh anxious on my mind.

I know it's nit-picking anxiety, so I'll feel unsettled regardless of what actions I do or don't take. Not worried about it. Just making notes, so I have something to reference later.

I feel a slight effort as I expand my lungs to take in breaths. It's like when you're waking up and your body isn't used to breathing so deeply after sleeping all night. So you yawn and stretch, waking up the muscles and shapes and forms of your body. It's the weight of fatigue pressing on me, saying my body needs to rest and not move. ==========

Remember how we got everything settled for the new car on Monday? Yesterday (Tuesday), we managed to find a buyer for the Honda: one of the firefighters that dad works with. The money from the Honda's sales is almost the same as the sales-tax for the new car, oddly enough.

[unabridged-melancholies]

i am going to be twenty-four. the first boy i slept with, tasted bitter in my mouth. i was an avalanche of sorry’s as i did my best to remember the performances i searched by keywords. the first boy i slept with, i had to keep my eyes closed. the second boy i slept with was messier; we are not sober, i cut noose from round my own neck, and let him replace it with his hands. i dug into his wrists so hard that he looked angry. 𝘪 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. the third boy i sleep with is the one i remember being blue. i don’t even remember wanting to sleep with him, i remember wanting to feel something else. i didn’t like the way he kissed me at all; 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴. number four, we fucked often. i tried something that made me coil, even though he told me i had the right to say no, i am reminded of the dangers of the pleasing martyr. the pleasing martyr is convient, we happily step on the blocks, we offer a smile for our dismemberment; 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘵���𝘱𝘦, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧. ‘𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 [𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦]. five is painful, five is when you are willing to slice off your skin, lay it down at his feet, five is violent and unforgiving, five is uncompromising in your inability to cross over. in the morning there are bruises in between your thighs, and it is like you are branded. five is not what you think, in the way that men can be spoiled children, smashing the toys that cannot do the trick they wanted. five is harsh, but five is shameful. five is the shame that you carry with you in your back pocket.six is them. six is falling in love when you domesticate the house that makes you the saddest. six is hands on your shoulders and fingers in your hair, six is unprompted. six is 𝘪 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘵. six is shushing the objects in your house, six is sober. six is i want to be sober, six is you are in the bed that i want you to devour me in. six is it is 1am, we are bathed in blue, i stand before them and looking down. six is we are at the dinner table and a woman we have met mere hours before is crying, he hugs them. six is i am learning to let myself fumble. i take off my shirt, i undress myself, i let him see the steps that i wish were easier. six is we are sober and his hands are on me, six is we are sober and i am begging him silently, six is he remembers sunlight. six is when i let him fuck me, i will let him start with the basics, six is i do not cry topless. they said that it was the first time they have been touched by someone and enjoyed it, six is i said i would try my best to write about it. six is, six is the basics. with trembling hands, and confirmations. 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘪 𝘢𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘤𝘶𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮; it is the basics.

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙨. 3. 20. 22