#2 i like the idea that he was already greek and roman and that he was embracing it more than deciding it.

[poppitron360]

I’d like to dive deeper into my thoughts on Caleo, bc they have been taking up most of my brainpower rn:

I get where Rick was going with it. I really do. They started off hating each other, Calypso thinking Leo was really annoying and just generally being like “why is this tiny human talking to me?”, but then they grew closer, realised they misunderstood each other, and bonded over common ground. It’s sweet. But the thing is, Rick? You’ve already got a character that did all that with Leo in the previous book!

And his name is Frank.

1. You’ve already set up that dynamic! Why not spend more time focusing on fleshing out that existing arc instead of creating a new one?

2. There’s SO MUCH more potential with angst- Frank being afraid of Leo bc of his fire, Leo being afraid of Frank because he’s twice his size and could easily crush his tiny body under his foot. Leo’s had to learn to survive on his brains and quick-wits in order to protect himself from bullies, and instantly gets defensive when he sees Frank. Frank is very insecure and sensitive, so immediately falls victim to Leo’s jokes. It takes a while for both of them to take those walls down, put aside their differences, and learn to trust each other.

3. It’s just hilarious how got-off-on-the-wrong-foot they were. A reminder that when Frank first met Leo, Leo had just destroyed half of New Rome. They both immediately judged each other completely based on looks- like it’s seriously funny how much you could compare these two to “Pride and Prejudice”. Also, the awkward misunderstanding that was the whole Sammy thing-

4. But they also have a lot more in common that Leo and Calypso ever did- similar trauma with losing their moms, and actually Leo is just as afraid of fire as Frank is. Both are incredibly insecure, and they both feel like they don’t belong among the other Seven.

5. You’ve also got that fun opposites-attract thing- Frank is big and muscular, Leo is built like a twig. Frank is big soft pookie bear, Leo is an absolute menace to society. Frank can turn into animals, Leo is a machines guy. Frank is Roman, Leo is Greek. You get the idea. They were written to juxtapose each other beautifully. They are the Yin to each other’s Yang.

6. They get so much more time together to establish a meaningful relationship. Their arc carries over three books, and we get to form connections as a reader to BOTH Leo AND Frank separately beforehand, so the payoff is a lot more satisfying. It takes time for them to open up to each other, and when they do it feels like they earned it. Calypso and Leo got a couple of chapters, that’s it.

It doesn’t have to be romantic! Leo can heal his trauma with friends and found family, learning to love and accept himself, learning that he doesn’t actually need the attention of a hot girl to be valid. He can find his place among his brethren with the help of all his friends, even Frank- the most unlikely of friends.

I wish Rick had put more effort into fleshing out the platonic relationships instead of just conforming to romance-centric ideals of “love fixes everything!” It’s lazy, and boring, and has been done to death. Platonic friendships make up 95% of our relationships, yet they are SERIOUSLY underrepresented in media. I’m calling for more interesting platonic dynamics. Leo and Frank could’ve been so much more, if Rick had actually taken the time to build on their relationship, and focused less on “Leo Needs a Girlfriend”!

So, when I say “Everything Caleo did, Valzhang could do better”- THAT is what I meant.

Also, Jason is so much better for Leo than Calypso, but that’s a whole other post.

[Edit: And I have made that post! You can find it here]

[zenosanalytic]

I've been thinking about how to articulate a thought I had about a possible Doylist/non-diegetic reading(EDIT: I originally wrote "Watsonian" here, which is the opposite of what I meant X| X| Brain, you Tricksome Jester *shakes entirely metaphorical fist*) of Eridan's Trollian handle, caligulasAquarium, in response to a post of @mmmmalo's, and I think I've got it.

Ok So: the popular perception of Caligula is as a "Mad Emperor". One of the points used in this depiction is his "War on the Sea", which is taken as obvsl absurd and empty and irrational(and possibly hubristic). Eridan chooses to call himself "caligulasAquarium" and he lives in a wrecked ship(a feature commonly put in aquariums)... on the surface.

So like: maybe the title is meant to be taken by the audience as ironic. Eridan's claim to an "Aquarium" is as absurd and empty and irrational as Caligula's claim to have warred upon the sea(in the common understanding of those events; as a matter of history this seems to be a Telephone distortion, from the sources I can find).

A few more points that have occurred to me since I started writing this:

Caligula "Made War on the Sea"; Eridan wants to "Make War on the Surface" by Killing All Landwellers, carrying forward the themes of inversion btwn Alternia and Earth.

Also: "Kill All Landwellers", "Kill All Humans": he's lampshading common evil-alien-overlord tropes

...Which in itself is sort of dunking on HIM, since Eridan is nobody's overlord he's just some GUY. Like: Yes, he's "Nobility" due to blood-caste, but he has no influence, no power, no RESPECT from anyone we meet, no friendships let alone alliances with other socially powerful individuals(other than Feferi, who seems to have foresworn all that to monastically care for G'lybgolyb) that he could USE to have influence; he's just a loner with his grand-dad's gun and allot of pretension.

...which you could argue furthers his parody of USian internet white-supremacists? Like: He is THEM: a gun-humping loner who only feels comfortable talking to the people he claims to hate, with no idea how unpleasant he makes himself to interact with, and even less interest in introspection or self-awareness, fetishizing past genocides as a way to claim for himself a "Glorious Past" he had nothing to do with.

As Feferi(and possibly other characters I'm forgetting) point out, Eridan's ambition to Kill All Landwellers is more than a little absurd. He's never really DONE anything to plan or prepare for it, and aside from Fef he exclusively hangs out with and befriends Landwellers, as well as LIVING ON LAND(well: a sandbar or reef). This could be taken as furthering the Caligula "War on the Sea" parallel.

Expanding on the last: Caligula, THE EMPEROR OF ROME and Grandest of Nepo-babies, was rather notably disdainful of and hostile towards the Roman nobility and inherited wealth/rank. This connects to Eridan in two ways I can think of: 1) his avoidance of other seadwellers, and 2) his philosophical hostility to landdwellers while Being, in practice, A Landweller. Basically: both Hate things about themselves shared by others.

Reinforcing #3: the choice of Caligula, a Troll-Emperor. Again: Eridan is Just Some Guy; he does not command armies, he does not command society, he can't even command Equius, who GETS OFF ON being ordered around. This is Pretension.

...which, I guess, you could connect AGAIN back to Caligula via the popular memory of him wanting to be treated "As A God", but it should be noted that 1)everyone who wrote anything about him hated the guy and was explicitly dunking on him, so we don't know how accurate these charges are, and 2)in the Roman context, while legal apotheosis was reserved for after death, imperial Divinity was already de facto given that sacrifices and prayers to the Emperor's health and success were legally mandated civic religious duties, AND 3)that classical Greeks and Romans, contra the Abrahimic societies which would later create this popular memory, considered apotheosis a real possibility for notable individuals.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I'm not sure if you've already said this but I'm asking anyway. Since you're the local Flashfam expert and also a PJO lover (you have no idea how happy I am that we like the same things), what godly parents would the Flashfam have? Like, all of the fam. Counting characters like Linda and Iris

And it'd also be cool if you assigned a cabin for the Titans and/or the Young Justice too-

I mean it has to be Hermes. It literally has to be Hermes for the speedsters. Like, maybe we throw in a Roman twist and say Mercury every once in a while, but that's just gotta be the answer.

Jay literally wears Hermes' helmet. Max named himself after Mercury. Barry wears Hermes' winged shoes and has wings on his head. Same with Wally. Jay is also literally given Hermes'/Mercury's powers on Earth-2.

And it makes sense, it really does. God of travellers? Check. The winged aesthetic? Check. God of messengers? Check! God of tricksters, liars and thieves? Look, the speedsters are all of the above just in a VERY chaotic good way. They don't rob people but also when Wally found out that the museum had the bones of a fallen soldier from another country without said countries permission or consent? HE STOLE THEM BACK. Bart has absolutely no qualms taking things, Max has been a thief in the past, Jay and Barry work by pirate rules aka 'if I defeat you, I get your stuff', ect. They don't do armed robbery and they don't like stealing from random citizens, but bad guys are free game.

Iris I have to go on the nose and say Iris because Iris is the goddess of messengers and rainbows, and Iris is literally a reporter? So her whole thing is spreading information? While looking stunning.

Linda is an Athena kid 125%. Linda writes books, she was a kickass investigative reporter, she went to med school, she knows more about speedster biology and how it works than literally anyone else in her home dimension, she regularly fights aliens with no powers and just whatever weapons she finds laying around. Linda is intelligent, she's cunning and witty and she will cut a bitch.

Joan is a Hestia kid. Just... family, love, warmth. Need I say more?

As for the Titans... well, Donna is already taken care of. Garth... is technically also taken care of I think?? Atlanteans exist in Greek mythology so Garth is just the same I think. Roy... fuck it, Ares. I said what I said come at me bro. For Dick I would want to go with a minor god or goddess, I like the idea of him being a child of Psyche (Goddess of the human soul) because he is very human and he understands people on a level that might be considered supernatural. Lilith would be the oracle. Karen would be a child of Hephaestus and Mal would 100% just be a guy who can see through the mist and has a shield.

Gar is the last son of Pan because that's cool AF. Raven would be the daughter of Tartarus I think. Vic would be a son of Apollo. I know it's really easy to go for Hephaestus for Vic but honestly, the key part of Vic's story to me isn't that he's a cyborg, it's that he's human. He's a survivor, who, against all odds, received bat shit crazy medical treatment from his father and survived a fatal accident. I like the idea that Apollo saw a guy doing crazy stuff to advance medical science and was like 'Hey there 😉😉😉😉'. Also pre accident Vic was a football player which has a lot to do with aim, so idk, I just like it. Starfire would be a demigod child of the sun deity on her home planet.

For Young Justice, Cassie and Bart are already covered. Kon would be a legacy of Nemesis (Lex) and a legacy of a deity from Krypton. Cissie would be a daughter of Ares and a legacy of Apollo. Greta would be a child of Morpheus. Tim would be the son of Lachesis. Slobo is Slobo. Anita.... Tbh I want to say she's a legacy of Aphrodite? Love is a huge part of her backstory and I dislike giving the non powered characters godly parentage that explains away their abilities. They worked hard for those skills!

[thatcrazypercyjacksonfan]

Now, I’m not sure if anyone in the TOA fandom has ever mentioned “Tongs A Lot, Dad”, a short story found in Camp Half-Blood confidential, but I strongly believe it adds (or perhaps reinforces) a lot when looked at with the additional context and characterisation the Trials of Apollo provides. 

An almost diary entry like addition in the short book, the story is told by Connor Stoll, following him and his brother as they poke around the old attic where the Oracle of Delphi remained for decades in the interest of scoring loot. At this they are semi successful, as they are made almost ridiculously vital to the canon plot of HoO with the find of celestial bronze tongs, which are inscribed with the instructions “for plucking the Tartarus Napkin from fire”. And if you are reading this post, you probably have a pretty good idea of why that’s important.

Now, what does this have to do with Apollo? Well, I find it highly probable that this was Apollo’s doing, for multiple reasons. 

1. The tongs were found in the oracle of Delphi's old abode, which is obviously Apollo’s domain, a place you would think he’d be very familiar with- the original place of the Oracle of Delphi was sacred ground, in fact, and even if that doesn’t quite translate to modern day... there is that theory about him being Camp Half Bloods Patron, pioneered by @tsarisfanfiction, I believe. Whatever hold the ancient laws have on the gods, I think we can somewhat assume that places such as these allow more wriggle room. 

 2. This notably happened basically simultaneously with Rachel becoming the Oracle, as seen here, “While everyone else was waiting to see if Rachel, the new Oracle, would survive....we made our move around to the back door of the Big House.” At this point, we’ve just wrapped up PJO. How would Apollo of known to set this up now? Well, we already know from Octavian in SoN that Apollo talked to him personally, and that their talk must of happened before Olympus closed, because he was stuck on Delos after. So if Apollo can put that into play, why not set up this? After all, Apollo is the god of prophecy - he could of understood it was needed. He obviously knew there was a threat. 

3. In the books (before ToA) we only see Apollo in Camp Half Blood twice- once to take Percy’s group and the hunters there in TTC, and once at the end of PJO to, as Conner so delightfully puts it, wait to see if Rachel would survive the Oracle. He was right there. And if that’s not enough for you, the reason Conner picks out the bag with the tongs? A “beam of golden light, shot upward from the floor” startles him. We find out later in another story that Apollo is directly confirmed to have been the one to do this- gifting Rachel the famous tripod stool of the Oracle. It fits almost to well.

“But!” You might say, protesting, “The title confirms who did it! I mean, it’s not like Apollo is Connor Stoll’s dad!” And to that I say- although the title does suggest that Hermes is responsible, it’s never confirmed, and more importantly- it’s in Connor’s POV. Why shouldn’t he assume it’s his dad? And why would he know otherwise? Perhaps you could make another connection with Hermes due to his shrine in Tartarus and point at that as his involvement, but wouldn’t it make more sense if Apollo knew it was a Child of Hermes who had to have the tongs, and acted accordingly? Afterall, last we saw Hermes he had a significant grudge against Annabeth, and more importantly has done nothing to suggest he’s capable of such foresight, especially at this point.

Now that I have (hopefully) convinced you of Apollo’s involvement, another titular question must be answered- why does it matter? What’s the ramifications of this? Well, considering that this napkin basically ends the civil war between the Greeks and the Romans... a lot, actually. Specifically, it allows Annabeth to communicate that reconciliation can be reached if Reyna, a Roman, returns the Athena Parthenos, an important Greek statue to the Greeks. (Also interesting to note she addresses this to Rachel, Apollo’s Oracle... another subtle connection). 

In ToA, Zeus punishes Apollo mainly for two stated reasons: Revealing the Prophecy to soon, which becomes pretty clear is not how prophecy works. And encouraging Octavian to declare war on the Greeks. But wait? If the Napkin succeeds due to Apollo, that means that he is trying to stop the war, which in my opinion follows more along with his characterisation in ToA. So what happened with Octavian? The fact of the matter is, people more clever then me have attempted to solve this question, such as @zazzander and @fearlessinger (Highly recommend this post if you are interested in the topic!) 

The tongs (and thus the potential for the Napkin) was put into place months before any true threat would be realised by most characters. So it wasn’t a frantic backpedal of trying to fix his mistakes to avoid punishment by Apollo. It was deliberate. Premeditated. Now, it could be that Apollo just knew the tongs would be needed, but not what for. Unfortunately, we don’t know how his powers work. But that’s boring. However, if you take the view that Apollo’s communication with Octavian was part of a larger strategy to reunite the camps... (again, see the linked post). Well. Funny thing, because that’s exactly what the Napkin facilitates. The two camps stop fighting because of this one, simple message, and the effect it had. They focus on the true enemy. Gaia.

What does this tell us then about Apollo, then?

Well...not much new, surprisingly. ToA does it’s job well. We know Apollo cares, deeply, about his kids and demigods as a whole. We know he often acts subtly, through quiet actions that he’ll never admit to. It’s maybe the final piece of evidence you could point to and say definitively that Zeus’s punishment was unjust, but we already knew that (although funnily enough, Zeus doesn’t- and even if he did, he’d probably just point to the violation of the interference laws and punish Apollo anyway.) What it does is add on to a very firm characterisation that ToA finalises, and showcases how once again Apollo is so much more then he first appears. 

[winterisol]

Motogp riders as greek/roman gods pt.1

so like this idea has been sitting in my head for roughly a week, what greek/roman gods would my favorite motorsport athletes would be. So for now I compiled the aliens and VR46 Academy riders for motogp. (Sorry for any mistakes this was typed at like 2 AM after finals)

Marc Marquez: Ares

This just makes so much sense to me, because if you watch any instance of Marc racing he is literally the definition of "war-mode." He is extremely aggressive, ballsy, and sometimes (most of the time) crosses the line. In this way he embodies the well known image of Ares, a god known for his impulsive actions, rage and well the "dirty" parts of war. However, the reason why I chose Ares for Marc is actually the fact that Ares is extremely loyal, loving and honestly more wholesome than popular media gives him credit. Like his loyalty and love for those he cares about extends deep with one of my favorite myths being the time Ares killed a son of Posidieon for violating his daughter. I feel like this loyalty and love is a key part of Marc, the man who insists on living with his younger brother at the ripe age of 31. Anyway yeah, for Marc its kinda the negative social conditions associated with him, and his division between his competitive racing side and his personal side which made Ares so compelling.

Valentino Rossi: Apollo

This was actually one I debated about for a while, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. I think the most obvious reason for Vale to be Apollo is his presence, like even through the camera there is something about Vale that just draws people in. He literally feels like he has the gravitational force of the Sun. I also think this is a good match because, kinda like marc with Ares, Vale is like Apollo in that no matter what he is like the cool popular guy. When reading old Greek myths, Apollo is always portrayed as this good, strong, cool guy, even though his actions are often the opposite. Like Apollo commits so many atrocities and in some ways is worse then Ares, yet he is constantly absolved of these wrongdoings. The Illiad is a great example, where while Ares is bashed for his wrongdoings, Apollo literally kills Patroclus with little to no consequences other than Achilles bitching about him. In this way Vale also fits, because lets be honest, even as a big fan of Vale, he in many instances was not much better than marc. Especially young Vale, who kinda like marc made risky moves because for him it was always a win or nothing. I also like this pairing cause, like Vale, Apollo can hold grudges and make people's lives living hell.

Pecco Bagnaia: Hephaestus

This is another one that took a bit of thinking, but yeah other than his pretty boy image, I think this one is spot on. So the first obvious reason is that if Marc is Ares, the heir apparent to Olympus, Pecco is definitely Hephaestus, the scorned younger brother who is never seen as good enough, despite being chosen by his parents (in this case Vale). Like, Pecco is the chosen one for Vale, but to the media and basically everyone else who isn't VR46 academy, Marc is seen as the rightful successor to Vale's legacy. I think this also plays in nicely with how Pecco is often regarded, underrated, unmentioned and sometimes not given the respect he deserves as a two-time motogp champion already. Like, Pecco has so much talent that often sits ignored in favor of his more flashy senior, just like how Hephaestus is in Olympus. I think his low-key personality, but sometimes explosive anger which can manifest in irritational actions or cunning traps also matches Hephaestus well. Like Jorge Martins, literally said that Pecco is most likely to play mindgames, instead of the obvious Marc. Pecco has also seen to sometimes overreact, like that one time in qualifying with Marc (also ironically fits into the Ares V. Hephaestus narrative as well).

I have more but like I'm losing motivation to explain it so maybe I'll make a part two tomorrow or something

[ihavedonenothingright]

Captive Prince: Historical References and Naming Conventions

Hi all! I've had this idea in my head for a while now, and I finally had some time (and an Ancient Greek dictionary), so I figured I'd give it a shot. I've always been fascinated by Pacat's worldbuilding, particularly the naming conventions, and as a classicist myself, I wanted to dissect them. So that's what this is. My focus is mainly going to be on Akielos since I don't have as in-depth a knowledge of French, but I'll go through some Veretian names too (je n'ai pas étudié le français depuis deux années, mais Arles… je voudrais parler d'Arles…)

I'm not approaching this with any kind of formal, academic structure, so if something wonky gets through, please let me know! And lastly, I have no idea how many of these are intentional on Pacat's part. This analysis is less about authorial intent and more about how the associations inherent in these names can lend to our interpretation of the work. I'll also be doing this analysis over a few different posts since there is a lot I want to cover. For post #1:

Country Names

This post will solely feature Vere and Akielos since that's already a lot, but I will tackle Patras et. al. later on. There's some very interesting stuff there that I would be remiss not to look at. Of our subjects for today, Vere is the simpler, and the one I am absolutely certain Pacat intended, so I'll start with it.

Vere

Disclaimer: I am in love with this choice. The word itself is actually a Classical Latin adverb derived from the adjective "vērus," meaning "true," and in Latin it's spelled "vērē" (though you will not see those macrons in extant texts, those are a modern pronunciation and differentiation aid). Vērē can be translated a handful of ways; often it's used for emphasis, and in that case it's usually translated as "indeed," but "truly," "rightly," "exactly," and "truthfully" all work in different contexts. Extrapolate vērus and its derivatives for around a thousand years and you get the Old French word "verai" (ouah c'est vrai !) which means, well, "true."

It's also close in spelling and pronunciation to the modern French "verre," which means "glass," which isn't entirely relevant, but is cool. It makes me think of shiny, fragile displays of opulence like the Galerie des Glaces in Versailles. 

The first reason I really like this name is that it calls back to Artes, the Roman-inspired kingdom that we're told once encompassed all of Vere and Akielos, while still fitting current Veretian (aka half-old-half-modern French) grammar and pronunciation. The second is, naturally, that it fits so well into the series' themes of truth, deception, and verisimilitude. The second we're introduced to Vere, and by extension Laurent, there's a subtle hint there that both he and his country are, at their core, more real, genuine, and truthful than Damen and Akielos. We're already building towards Damen's Kings Rising line, "I have never known a truer man." Even if you don't recognize the Latin, your brain will make the connection between Vere and verisimilitude later. It's perfect, 10/10 Pacat, could not have done it better.

And just for fun: a Latin example!

Commentarii de Bello Civili, 2:27. Latin and English available here. 

Hi, sive vere quam habuerant opinionem ad eum perferunt, sive etiam auribus Vari serviunt…

Loeb Translation: "Whether they convey to him the opinion that they really held, or whether they only flatter his ears…" (165)

Slightly more literal translation (by me): "Whether these ones truly convey to him the opinion as they held it, or rather are subservient to Varius' ears…"

Akielos

The name "Akielos" is a lot more… nebulous. I don't know if there is a Greek print of Captive Prince, but my guess is it would be spelled Άκιελος (modern Greek speakers please weigh in, I'm only a year or so into Ancient Greek so I haven't really touched accent marks). That doesn't map neatly to any modern or ancient greek word—at least that I know of. What is does remind me of is Ἀχιλῆος (Achileos) from Ἀχιλλεύς (Achilleus), aka, Achilles. They're so close that I actually realized lately I had unconsciously been pronouncing Akielos as "Akileos" for a while; and in fact, this makes the Veretian spelling "Achelos" make a bit more sense. English and French both use a hard "ch" to represent χ in Greek words; so I imagine, in universe, that the word might actually be spelled Άχιελος. It wouldn't even surprise me if this was the way Pacat originally wanted to spell it, but had to change it for ease of comprehension.

I did have some other interpretations of the name, but I think this is the strongest. Because in addition to the obvious association, the name Ἀχιλλεύς is thought to be derived from the words ἄχος, "distress/grief" and λαός, "people," making it either "the grief" or "grief of/to the people" depending on who you ask (you rely on cases for that sort of distinction in Greek and they're not exactly present here. iykyk).

I really like the idea of Akielos being associated with grief; we're first introduced to it as a country in mourning, and then later on, as the cause of grief in Delfeur. And then you have the association with Achilles, himself a prolific brother killer, who Pacat references later in 'The Fall of Inachtos,' our in-universe Iliad. Insane levels of grief on grief on grief. Plus, because it looks closer to the genitive form, I automatically associate it with the opening line of the Iliad:

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος

menin aeide thea Peleiadeo Achileos

Sing, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son

So we can throw a little rage into the equation. As a treat. 

Also important to note that the -os there is a masculine ending. It doesn't have the most bearing, but it does mean that if we want to be strictly accurate to Ancient (and modern!) Greek grammar, I have to throw a quick article in front of it, making our final "how do the Akielons spell Akielos?" answer: ὁ Άχιελος ("ho Achielos"). The ὁ here is equivalent to le in French, with the major distinction being that in French, you don't typically need an article in front of a proper noun, whereas you do in Greek.

That's it for today's analysis! See you guys next time around for Patras, Artes, and (maybe) Arles, Ios, and Delfeur/Delpha.

Part 2 >>

[queerprayers]

heya! can u tell me more about liturgy? i want to participate im a nondenominational catholic but i want to be more active in my faith! is it too late to start?

Welcome, beloved!

"Liturgy" comes from Greek and means "public service," and Christians use it generally to mean the order of events/ritual in communal worship, although it can sometimes refer to personal worship, like the liturgy of the hours.. Different denominations range in their formality and structure, but there is a pretty standard order in at least Western churches with traditional liturgies and from what I can tell, Eastern rites have very similar ideas/sections. Encyclopedia Britannica has a pretty good basic history of Christian liturgy, and the Wikipedia page has some good sections/links.

There are liturgies for different times of day and events, but the most common/important Christian one is the service of Holy Communion, practiced every Sunday. This comes from two places I can think of. First, Judaism has the practice of keeping the Sabbath, and the first Christians, being from Jewish communities, already had the ritual of weekly worship, but, partially to differentiate themselves from Jewish law but also as an acknowledgement of the most important event in the Christian faith, the Resurrection, began to meet on Sundays. Second, Jesus at the Last Supper commanded us to "do this in remembrance of me," and Paul tells us that "whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes." We eat and drink as Jesus taught us, and can see that even in the first generation of Christianity, the holy meal was central. 

We worship together because religion is interpersonal, and Jesus did not come simply for us personally, but for us all communally. My response to the missionary's question of "Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?" would be "No, I have an interpersonal one." (Unlikely my father, who said, "Yes, I eat him.") Obviously there is great diversity of situation/location, and joining a church is not in the cards for every person. But, nonetheless, we must live out our faith with others, whether that's church, family/friend gatherings, interfaith worship, or any kind of community gathering/serving. And I'll say it more later, but no, it's not too late to begin this or move in a new way.

Here is, very generally, the order/content of the liturgy of Holy Communion I know, which I think is almost identical to the Roman Rite:

Confession/absolution: We a general confession of sin, ask God to help us, and the pastor announces God's forgiveness. Private confession is not the norm in Protestant churches, so this where we bring our confessions to mind before God.

Procession/hymn: In my church, the pastor does the confession from the back of the room, and processes, with the assisting minister, acolyte(s), and crucifer, to the altar, while we sing an entrance song.

Kyrie/litany/hymn of praise: We sing petition and praise—the songs/chants change depending on the season.

Prayer of the day/collect: This prayer changes every week and gives the context for our gathering. It references whatever season we're celebrating and sometimes the Bible readings we'll hear.

Scripture readings/lessons: This is generally one reading from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament non-gospel books (Acts/letters/Revelation). The cycle of readings throughout the year follows the seasons and tells overarching stories/themes.

Psalm: The one book we read (or, sing) from every single week is the book of Psalms. In our church, we perform a call and response chant for that week's psalm in between the OT/NT readings.

Gospel verse/acclamation: As the Bible is being brought to the pastor, we usually sing "Alleluia, Lord, to whom shall we go?" including John 6:68-69, but during Lent we sing "Return to the Lord your God" from Joel 2:13. 

Gospel: A reading from Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John relating to the season/other readings.

Sermon/homily: The pastor preaches on the readings or season, usually providing further information about them and giving us a lesson to take with us for the week. 

Hymn of the day: We sing our second hymn here. This is usually the one most thematically relevant. 

Creed: Either the Apostles' or Nicene Creed is recited. This is a weekly affirmation of our shared beliefs, uniting us with every Christian across time and denomination who has said these words.

Prayers of the church: Multiple intercessory prayers are read relating to the season, current events, members of the church, etc. These conclude with a remembrance of the dead, naming those who have recently died and making space for people to call out their own loved ones.

The Peace: Historically, this ritual greeting was the "kiss of peace," but all churches that I've been to have gone for handshakes or hugs instead. I think Catholics do the Peace after Communion, which honestly makes more sense, but this is where it is for us. I have appreciated it recently, as I'm often crying after the remembrance of the dead. 

The Offering: The offering plate is passed around while singing, and people are welcome to make donations. These funds go toward paying the pastor and organist, worship supplies, upkeep of the church building/grounds, members in need of support, and donations to charity. After collection, we pray that we will use the money in service of God and our neighbor. 

Preface/Eucharistic prayer/Great Thanksgiving: The pastor begins holy communion with a recitation of Jesus's words at the Last Supper, and calls the Spirit to be present in our meal. 

The Lord's Prayer: The prayer Jesus himself gave us to pray! Everything we need to say, right there. Maybe we should save time and just do this?

The Communion/Eucharist: We all come forward and receive communion. Churches have varying levels of real bread and wine—we get real wine but little wafers, some places go for grape juice. This is the central act of gathering—we can read the Bible on our own, we can pray on our own, but we cannot share a meal by ourselves. Breaking bread together is the fundamental Christian ritual, however that materially/theologically shows up in our communities. 

Songs of thanksgiving/prayers: We give thanks for the meal, and pray that it will sustain us. 

Closing hymn: Catholics don't stay for all the verses of this, it seems. I've been the last one singing before—as a visitor. This is my main (loving) critique of y'all's liturgy. 

Benediction: (See, we're not allowed to leave because we have to wait for the blessing, however many verses of the hymn there are.) The pastor recites the priestly blessing from Numbers: "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord look upon you with favor and give you peace." The assisting minister then sends us with these words: "Go in peace, serve the Lord. Thanks be to God."

I find liturgy really valuable for lots of reasons. Just on a base level, I crave rhythm and ritual. I've said the words my whole life, which means I don't have to know what to say or do, I don't have to get anything right or perform. I meet every week with a group of people who want to say the same words while coming from so many different kinds of lives. We want to tell stories and sing songs together, the same as Christians have since the very beginning, the same as humans have since creation. Every week, I am reminded of what this is all for. It's a kind of reset, and I keep needing it. 

It's also a foundation for our community--the church is our gathering space, where we share meals, where we mourn our dead, where we organize, where our children play. The liturgy grounds us in common stories/music, and we take this with us to everything else. Many people who have left the church have said that there's not really an societal equivalent, and I mourn the fact that the church has not been a space for everyone, and that there aren't similar secular spaces. Especially in the sharing of money and time, I've learned really valuable lessons about community from the church.

It is never too late to need this, to join in, to attend a church, to start praying, to get baptized—these things are not age-dependent, and they come to us all differently. The disciples were old and young, the saints have come to God at all different times, and our lives do not all follow the same pattern. There's that joke about how Jesus didn't start his ministry till age 30—but even if you're way past 30, you only need a day in which to live seeking God, and God willing you have many days ahead of you. 

Maybe this has been on your mind for a while, and it feels like you've missed your chance—you haven't. Each day we recommit ourselves to life, which means each day we have the opportunity to change it. I have never been to a church that would look down on someone beginning their church participation at any age—even the most annoying conservative churches I can think of love when people start coming. 

I don't know what the church options are where you live, but I'd encourage you to visit some! Attending is not a promise to join or keep attending, just a participation in a liturgy. There may be restrictions for taking communion depending on your baptism/membership, but there are no restrictions on coming and listening and singing. And even if just once, you'll have participated in the unfolding story of Christian communal worship, and made it better by being yourself and coming with love.

There are churches who have completely different liturgies/practices—Quaker meetings are a great example. As I mentioned, there are personal liturgies that, while not a replacement for community, can introduce ritual into our homes and keep us faithful us as we seek community (I'm currently practicing Phyllis Trible's Divine Hours). Tradition sustains us, and is continuously being created. Wherever you find your home, whatever songs you sing, may God go with you, and may you never feel it is too late to start absolutely anything.

<3 Johanna

[minamartin]

Whispers of Violence - Chapter 2 : Quite The Spin You Had!

Sorry for the delay. I meant to post it on Sunday evening but i have been ill with a stomach bug. I deeply appreciate every like, reblog and comment. Im glad you guys are interested. :)

Rating : Mature, NSFW

Warnings : Mentions of physical abuse, Mentions of psychological trauma.

Stella was pushing her foot on the gas hard. She had no idea where she was rushing. The last thing she wanted, is to get to town earlier than needed. Fuck, she fully expected herself to procrastinate, reschedule or ask her sister to take care of this instead of her. Stella didn't wanted to complicate this by mentioning it to Carly, so she decided to not tell her about it at all. Somehow her miserable thoughts and feelings agreed, that this needs to be dealt with and the sooner it is, the sooner the discomfort and the stress goes away.

She haven't seen the farm or the house, since that night. Carly packed her stuff and moved into a storage unit near her house, so when she was feeling well enough to sort through her stuff, she could have the opportunity to do so if she wanted. She haven't had the faintest of idea what state the house and the farm was in. It was put up for sale two years ago, because until then she still could not decide what to do with it. Her mother loved that place. But as soon as she died, both Stella and her sister started to loath it. There was no way they will live in it ever again, so the only thing left to do is sell it if they can.

She glanced down to her Porsche's clock on the dash. She only lived an hour away from the town, and she still had half an hour to go. She eased her foot off of the gas and started driving at a more calmer pace. She turned on the music in the hope of it rerouting her thoughts that were running wild. Anxiety already rode up on her spine and infected her stomach. She could only find comfort in the thought, that in broad daylight, surely nothing catastrophic will happen. Even in a town where the Vandals roamed free.

Vandals. What a stupid fucking name to begin with. For understandable reasons, no one pitied the Roman Empire, when it was ransacked by Vandals. It was a horrible state that preyed on the weak, stole everything that they could get their hands on and destroyed most of the ancient greek civilisation. On the other hand, one would wonder what horrible crimes this little town ever committed, to be damned with a bunch of bikers full of anger, hatred, violence and passion for freedom and rebellion.

Their leader, Johnny certainly was an avid reader of history. Stella took care to listen to him very carefully on the rare occasions that he talked. Everyone around him, all the time seemed so hung up on his words, but Stella listened him for different reasons. The first time she had seen him up close, watched his mannerism, the way he moved, she knew it instinctually that this man is the most dangerous one in any room he walks in. He wasn't a man of many words, granted, so it was hard for her to get a better read on him, but she gathered enough to learn to keep her distance from him, especially if Benny wasn't around. Those occasions were almost nonexistent on their own, which Stella always felt really grateful for.

The blasting music had no effect whatsoever, except for keeping her fully awake. She hasn't slept all night. She watched wide awake as the sun rose up from under the horizon. All she could think about, was all the possible situations, that she might possible fall into around town. Will i run into a few Vandals again by accident? What will i do in this case? What do i do if i run into Him? What do i do if i learn the news of Him being dead? What if, what if, what if...

What if, you just stop asking questions?!

She glanced at the dash.

Soon she will need to stop for gas.

She turned off the music and stopped at the gas station at the edge of town. This was the first place she saw after all these years, and it looked all the same as it did some years ago. Chipped paint, rusting corners and discolored spots due to water damage. After she put the filling pistol in her car, she silently studied the place further from behind her sunglasses.

Her stomach shrank when she saw one big old Harley by the pillar, at the left side of the gas station. She quickly recognized the grey haired, tall man who always smoked cigars and usually never left Johnny's side. He lived in her memories as a truly unpleasant man. And she saw quite some of those amongst the Vandals. None of them intimidated her as much as this man. Even his smiles were vile and full of threats.

She quickly turned her head back to the direction of her car. She hoped that her sunglasses and little bit of changed appearance will be enough to deceive most of the eyes. If she was nervous before, her anxiety was a burning oil tanker on the open sea when Johnny himself stepped out of the shop.

She only dared to glance by her peripheral vision and it took everything she had in her to not to turn her head towards the danger. She gripped the filling pistol and hoped that it will not click just yet and she doesn't have to walk in the shop to pay. She turned her back in a nonchalant manner towards the man who was still standing by the shops entrance, and lighting a cigarette – by the looks of it from the mirror that Stella stared into. Yeah...what place is better to have a smoke, than a fucking gas station?!

She saw the man stiffen in his posture and small movements. She instinctively knew just from that – he recognised her, even with her back turned to him in the distance. She felt sick to her stomach and all of her muscles tensed up when he started slowly walking towards her. She instinctively wanted to run, but her rational mind was able to triumph over her anxiety. She steadied herself, like a young tree in a storm, and hoped for the best.

Johnny never liked the idea of her being around Benny. Not even for that short time that they spent together. Even though he disagreed, he never threatened Stella or mistreated her. But he made it clear through his vague hints, that he would prefer her to keep her distance from his club and Benny, because it is not her world, and nor her world is Benny's.

"That's a really, really nice car." Stella forgot how harsh, raspy and unpleasant the man's voice is. It's like a bonesaw, cutting through everything, even in a normal, easygoing tone.

She remained silent.

Not sure if out of spite or fear.

"Nice to see you doing so well, Stella!" He added slowly stepping even closer.

Fuck!

Stella turned around with a posture that showed resilience and carelessness at the same time. She became the biggest fan of the fake it till' you make it method towards a lot of things in her life in the past five years. She was proud of that, out of all the occasions, now more than ever, because she was terrified, but showed no sign of it.

She felt as a billiard ball had stuck in her throat.

She knew it was fear that kept her mute, not spite.

Stella froze up in her entire existence when the man without an ounce of consideration of personal space towards another human being stepped right in front of her, as she were an old lover of him, and with a careful and unusually gentle manner took off her sunglasses. Stella studied him, while he did the same.

He was older. At least looked much older than she remembered. His face was still somewhat handsome, but it had worn out so obviously, even to her it was apparent, that something went downhill in his soul really fast. Only people with and through psychological and emotional stress aged up so fast. Stella was sure he had a lot of that, but she still found it hard to believe that a man like him, would even have a soul and a conscience.

Johnny couldn't believe what she saw in front of his own eyes. She was more beautiful than he remembered. She became more beatiful than she ever was before. A little bud of a flower became a fully blossomed out one. He was an old men and she was a young woman that would never be hers, still he wasn't unaware nor unaffected by the sight nor the scent of her. She resembled too much to an old ghost that still haunted him to this day.

"Hmmm." Johnny hummed and looked away from her face, glancing down at her sunglasses that he kept holding between his calloused fingers. Even back then he understood how this little girl had Benny in a death grip. He wasn't lacking in imagination, but he could not even dare to guess the effect of the women who stood before him now on Benny.

The deafening silence that engulfed them was disrupted by the clicking of the filling pistol. Her Porsche had it's fill of fuel, yet she refused to move. She stood her ground unbothered by outside circumstances.

"It is really, really a nice machine!" Johnny glanced aside to the bronzeish-brownish colored car. "Altough i favour older machines. They are already stood the test of times and still have that brute strength. But the new ones...those always look the best. I never had a care how things look though." He cradled the sunglasses between his fingers. "I'd imagine with the farm being sold, you will be able to afford just about anything. But i can't help but wonder...what would your mother say about selling it?!"

Stella took a long, hard look at the man. Confusion would not even begin to describe what she felt. What basis on he is dragging her mother into something that he has no business digging in at all?! Stella felt a strong case of curiousity, but held her tongue and all she managed to say...

"Can i have that back?" She nodded towards the five hundred dollar sunglasses of hers.

Johnny's mouth formed into a playful smile, but his hand did not move.

Stella learned a little about the pressure-release method from her mother who sometimes used it on horses, and later on people often forced this on her as well. But she was no fucking horse! She learned how to spot when someone is trying to put pressure on her with no sureness of releasing it. And she also learned how to release herself.

"Keep it." She smiled politely and with ease got rid of the filling pistol, put it onto it's place and simply walked by the man into the shop. She felt energized and confident, but she knew all too well, that this feeling is not gonna last. As soon as she paid and walked out of the shop, she already started to get anxious to walk by the man again. But she could not give into her anxiety. She remained calm and collected, even when her arm ever so slightly brushed beside his leather jacket. She opened the door and sat in the driver's seat and slowly drove out from the gas station.

As she took the corner she glanced out the window. Her hands slightly trembled on the steering wheel. She couldn't make sense of how and from where she gained this much bravery and confidence all of the sudden. Perhaps she changed that much. Perhaps she underestimated herself all along.

She drove to the realtor's office and for the first time ever, met her. The whole sellig ordeal was mostly done through the internet and Carly met her once when she traveled here with Marcus. The chatty realtor was carrying on a conversation almost entirely by herself, while Stella listened staring out of the window. But something got stuck on the gears of her hearing.

"And they wanted to meet you so they will be here in an hour."

Stella froze up and furrowed her brows at the woman. "What?"

And this is how she ended up sitting almost two hours in the realtor's office, waiting for the buyers. She forced her smiles and kind words and compliments. She even had gone along with their idea and drove out to the farm with them. They were full of questions and compliments. She recited her usual niceties and lies. If they wanted to hear a fairytale for the two million dollar they had spent for this place, she will tell whatever story they wanted to hear.

Being in the empty house for the first time was an entirely new experience for her. Carly really did got rid of everything. Everything was bared down, thoroughly cleaned and as far as she could see the walls were painted recently. Even the curtains were removed from every window. The entire house was illuminated by the afternoon's sunlight. It looked really nice for the fresh pair of eyes of an outsider. It looked the same for her as it ever did. Only not just metaphorically empty, but physically too.

*

Work burned under Benny's hands that were covered in oil, dust and grime that was coming from the SUV that he was working on. Other than him only Greg was working in the mechanic shop. Benny never met him before, but he arrived here in the morning as Vince asked, and after a fast handshake and introduction, he never received any comments or side eyes from him, which was a good sign.

He seemed like a dude who minded his own business. He liked that type. They were easy to work with, and he needed money. There wasn't many job opportunities around town he could do. He was a good mechanic but the other car repair shop in town would never hire him. Vince's worn down mechanic shop had seen better days, but it was still running due to decently priced repair services.

Benny had no idea how Vince is gonna pay both him and Greg, while also managing to keep the shop open, and still bring some money home for himself at the end of the day, but at this point even if he took home half of what they did, he would be grateful. No one else would hire a recently released con.

Even through the noise of their tools, the sound of Vince's coughing from the office was apparent. Benny stared towards the office while trying to rub off the grime off his hands with an already dirty piece of cloth. He was driven by concern as he slowly walked back to the office. The coughing had died down a little, but haven't disappeared. He leaned onto the doorway and studied Vince who was sitting in his chair with his back turned towards the door.

As he would have sensed him, he turned the chair around.

"What's up kid?" Vince furrowed his brows.

"Nothin'." Benny said with a quiet mumble, studying Vince's face. As his gaze traveled down towards the desk, he spotted the bloody spots on the handkierchief that Vince was clutching in his hand. "What's up with this cough?" Benny asked glancing down at his own shoes.

Vince's chair creaked under him as he adjusted himself in it.

"Lung cancer." He said with a peaceful tone. "I was diagnosed two years ago, did some chemo...wasn't really for me, so i made them stop. They gave me some pill that i have to take...but something tells me it's just delaying the inevitable."

Benny felt like his throat was in a chokehold.

He wanted to say something, but haven't had the strength nor the ability.

"But...aren't there...surgery or some shit?" Benny asked insecure.

"Not when all of it is fucked kid." Vinced shook his head. "The docs did the best they could. They pumped me full of something that made me puke my guts out. I blacked out several times. Everything i tried to eat tasted like metal. The things i loved eating made my stomach turn. Even tried to drink water, and that too tasted like something out of a nuclear plant. So i made them stop it..." Vince stopped for another short cough. "I decided my fate with all the shit i smoked a long time ago. If i only have a year or two, im not gonna change the way i used to live. It's way too late for making any difference."

Benny heard the defeat in his voice and it made him realize how bad it must be.

Vince saw the despair behind Benny's continous silence and the sadness in his gaze. He stood up from his chair. He crumbled the handkierchief into his pocket and stepped to the boy he watched and helped become a man. "Don't make a drama out of this kid! It's ain't nothing like im gonna kick the bucket tomorrow!" Vince grabbed his shoulder. It was much thicker than he remembered.

"But you gonna go." Benny said with a sad glint in his eyes.

"We all gonna go eventually kid! Most of us will get what we deserve! So you just worry about you and how you live! So...you know...quit the booze and cigarettes and eat your fucking veggies and all!"

Benny didn't felt the smile in his heart but his mouth curled up a bit.

"C'mon. Until the Big Reaper comes...there is work to do!"

*

Stella was held up at a red light in town. She gazed through the windshield but her eyes were hurting. She really did miss those sunglasses. Johnny probably had no idea he held the price of a good night of drinking in his hands. Technically she bought every Vandal at least one round.

She startled in her seat when a fast knock reverberated on the passenger seat window. She barely but still recognized the face of Julia. The corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile as she made the window go down.

"Hi there! I couldn't believe my own eyes." Julia said with a honest laugh.

Stella smiled up at the stop light. "Hop in, i'll take you!"

Julia carefully opened and closed the door of the car and gave her a hug as big as she could in the tight space. "Ahhh it is so nice to see you again! I can't believe it!" She laughed wholeheartedly. "Oh my God, how beautiful you became! I mean...you were always the prettiest girl in town but you know...you became a grown women, truly!"

Stella took the kind compliment with a tight lipped smile.

"How are you? I see you still work at the hospital." Stella glanced at the nurse uniform on the women who had quite a few grey hairs in her hair, but most of it was still as blonde as ever.

"Yes, i do. But im not doing night shifts anymore, thankfully." She said.

Stella stepped on the gas when the lights became green.

She still knew all too well where she was and where Julia wanted to go.

"That's good. All the horrible things happen at night." Stella said.

"Yes they do. I loved doing it you know, but i become more tired and tired, and there is also less and less people in town from year to year, so i leave the raging, wild nights to the younger ones."

Stella's shy smile had honest kindness behind it.

"But what about you? How you doing in the city? I heard something about you or your sister selling the farm or something?!" Julia furrowed her brows with confusion and curiosity.

"Yes. Im selling it. There's not a lot i can do with it. I ain't coming back." Stella said quietly.

"That's good. Don't! There is nothing here. The people who stay here are either getting older and older, die or not yet figured out a way to get out." Julia said with a sigh as Stella turned the corner and slowed down in front of the building where she lived, above her husband's bar.

"How is Lizzie?" Stella did not forgot about their only daughter who went to school two years above her.

"She is good. She is working in the city too. She working as a receptionist i think at a dental office. She changes places way too often for me to follow." Julia sighed tiredly. "Hey, come in! It is warm as hell out here, have a soda!" Julia said with an upbeat, encouraging voice. "Rob would be happy to see you again!"

Doubts and anxiety ran circles around on Stella. She wanted to say no. She wanted to get out of this town before sundown and leave it far behind. But she felt way more guilt about saying no, than urgency to leave. Julia kept her alive so many times at her own detriment and risk of her own job.

"Sure." Stella said with a kind smile, but her jaws and posture were tense.

As she walked in the bar she glanced at the horizon. The sun is gonna be down within half an hour. That's how much time she gave herself to run her polite courtesies to Julia and Robert.

Stella saw Robert behind the bar having a talk with an older gentleman who was sitting there. She counted only five people between the scattered tables. Most of the costumers probably gonna arrive after she left. Older and more sophisticated people had the impulse control and decency, to not to start drinking before the sun went down.

"Huh!" That was all Robert was able to say.

"Right? What a rare bird flew into town?! I convinced her to have a soda and say hi to you." Julia said proudly and walked behind the bar.

"Be my guest princess! What can i get you?" Robert asked smiling.

"A cold soda is fine." Stella said sitting up at a stool.

She listened to what they had to say, she answered their questions but kept the details to herself. She watched the last rays of the sun sneaking through the windows and as the sun's light faded and thinned out, she felt an overwhelming dread creeping up on her spine.

"Im gonna go up and change quickly. Don't disappear on me!" Julia said looking at Stella who followed the waterdrops rolling down on the side of her glass with her black painted nails.

She spent the entire day in her black skinny jeans, a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and black lining. Altough the heat started to die down, she still felt herself sweaty, sleepy and worn down. Her firm and high ponytail probably could've used a good brushing. She no longer could smell the perfume she applied on herself, her feet was sore in her black, studded ankle boots. Her breasts were begging for a release from her bra. She just wanted a shower, a plate of food and some peace and quiet after this day.

She glanced up as Robert walked towards her and stood right in front of her.

"I didn't wanted to tell you this in front of the missus..." Robert stopped and glanced behind above his shoulder. "But Benny Cross was here yesterday, asking about you!"

She felt as her blood got cold in her veins.

"Wha...what do you mean looking for me?" Stella stuttered.

"He came in without his vest. It was a strange sight for sure!" Robert's facial muscles twitched. "He wanted to know if you're alive. He looked...different than i remembered. But again five years is...a lot." Robert said rather to himself than to her.

Stella could not make sense of what he was saying. She knew that Robert's bar wasn't the first and never would be even the last choice for any Vandal to have a drink, but they lived in the same town. Surely Robert would have seen Benny a few times around town.

"What do you mean five years?" Stella furrowed her brows curiously. "You two haven't even seen each other passing around town?"

Robert looked back at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Stella, the guy was in jail in the last five years! He got released yesterday."

Stella felt something heavy falling on her inside.

"Benny was in your house that night. The cops find him there with your father beaten bloody." Robert said with a gentle tone and leaned closer to her. "The kid probably killed him after he saw what he had done to you!" He said with an empathetic tone and gaze.

Stella felt like a tornado grabbed her and flunged her up. Her brain overflooded with confusing thoughts that couldn't make sense of each other. Her breathing hitched and started going awry. Her vocal cords failed to function. She couldn't even swallow from the rock inside her throat.

In the clumsy attempt to stand up from the bar stool, she knocked it over and behind her. The loud thump cut into the laid back silence of the bar. Her legs faltered but she remained standing up and with trembling hands she got a hold of the stool and raised it up into it's place. "Im sorry." She said in a weak voice, barely able to breathe and a weakness was fastly taking over her body. "I...i got...i gotta go." Her voice trembled and she walked to the door with weak legs and walked out to the dark street.

She couldn't open her car door right away.

It took three attempts to get the key into the ignition.

She fought to breathe in the solitude of her car as she droved it through the streets, towards out of town. Everything she knew about the aftermath of that night was what her sister told her. The first time she became conscious in the hospital, Carly was the only person beside her bed. She never even mentioned their father. Nor Benny. Not once. Stella just assumed Benny was already done and through with her, and her father the same. She assumed, he gave her all the beating she could take and was done with her and it all!

She remembered some of that night all too clearly. She went to visit Benny for the last time before she would go back to college. They had a little bit of fight a few nights ago and she wanted to give him and herself time to cool down. She wasn't expecting a plus one at Benny's house. A fully naked blonde girl with messed up hair in his kitchen, holding two beer bottles and turning towards her with a shameless but surprised face when she stepped in the door without a knock. Benny walked forward, without shamed and fully naked as well.

Stella back then settled and ended every single situation that humiliated her with one simple word – Nice! She nodded, turned around and walked out with that, and the bitter taste of shame, disappointment, sadness and anger.

She went through a short but heavy phased of crying on the road towards home. But she quickly put that ghost back into the bottle and put the lid on it. By the look of all the lights out upstairs and all the lights on downstairs she still had to go through one round with her father.

She didn't even properly stepped into the house and closed the door, when the first hit took her straight off her feet. Her father got wind of her having an affair with a Vandal. And he definitely not liked it! He unloaded all his anger on her. And he had a lot of it! She was too weak in every sense of the word to defend herself or to run away. She still haven't woken up from what she saw at Benny's house and her father already started to beat her into oblivion.

To this day she still remembers the hit that apparently, according to the doctors broke her ribs. It was probably more of a kick than a hit. That was the last time she heard her own scream that night. After it shortly came another hit that made her feel like she inhaled water up to her nose. It was probably dealt on her head, because after that she felt the lights go out in her head and she could not remember anything from that night for almost a month. Even when she was awake and off the heavier painkillers, she still had trouble remembering things for a while.

She occupied her then pregnant sisters guest room for more than three months until she was fully recovered from the physical injuries. Still, her sister never even mentioned their father, Benny or what is with them. Not even mentioning if Benny came to see her at the hospital. Even if just to see if she's alive. She forbaded Stella to ever go back to that town and refused to talk or answer questions about anything that had to do with it.

Almost half a year went by since that night when Carly came to the apartment she was renting and sat down to talk about their father's passing away. She stated she wants to cremate him and dump his ashes somewhere it deserves to be dumped. Her suggestion was a junkyard. Stella still didn't know what to do or say, how to react so she nodded and went along with her sister's wishes and kept focusing finishing her time in college.

She had no intentions of mourning her father or even go to a funeral. When Carly a few weeks later came back, saying it is over and done with. No burial plot for him. Only the farm was left behind to be dealt with, but according to the lawyers, it was left to Stella, along with their father's collected wealth. Stella sent half of their father's money to her sisters bank account, even though she wanted none of it, she now had a child to care for.

Stella went to therapy, worked part time jobs alongside college to reintegrate herself socially but she remained focused on her mental health. She met Lydia at her therapists office where she had gone to therapy. They became friends and later they became partners and opened the store.

She never thought of going back to the town. She had no reason left. As far as she was concerned, the last time she saw him, he made it very clear that he will live his life just the same after she goes back to college, than before she came to town. She had nothing to do with him anymore and he certainly didn't wanted to do anything with her anymore.

Carly made quite a big tower out of lies and misinformation. Making her believe that their father was still alive after that night. Leaving her in the false conviction that Benny remained in his house that night and never tried to reach out to her again. And she was stupid, naive and content to never question anything that her sister said. All the while Benny rotted in jail and she didn't even suspected it, because she had no reason to.

A sob escaped Stella's mouth and echoed in the silent car.

A loud popping sound broke through the silence and the steering wheel jumped and rattled hard within her fingers. She instinctively grabbed it as hard as she could, yet the steering fought her hard. She took her foot off the gas instantly and her heart almost thumped out of her chest as the car started to spin lightly but definitely. She was holding onto the wheel, try to regain some control.

Then the car stopped and the few seconds that felt like forever, ended.

She glanced out through the window.

She was at the edge of the town, with forested area on both sides.

It could have been worse. At least the car remained standing and not on it's sides. She wasn't an expert of machines, but she was sure a flat caused this. She opened the door and walked around the car to look at the tires. Sure it was a flat. On the front left tire. She never learned to change tires or even windshield cleaning fluid. But she sure learned how to call and pay triple A.

She put out the warning lights and grabbed her backpack out of the car. A quick phone call with a complete and total stranger was able to calm her down a little. The guy on the other end of the line said it will take almost an hour to get there. She reassured him that she will not be going anywhere.

"Out of all the nights..."

Stella turned her face towards the sky. The crickets and toads were the only noise in the darkness. She glanced down at the dark road. Every few feet a lamp post was lighting patches onto the concrete. She felt the early summer night's cool air on her naked forearms. She found a minute of peacefulness in this unusual situation, but her emotions broke through it, heavy and fast.

She wanted to call her sister. Right now. Yell at her. Curse at her. Humiliate and make a fool of her, as she did one out of her. She knew it wouldn't be the right time and the right way to go about it. And she knew she would say things that she later would regret but would not be able to take back and act like it never happened. That was her sister's way of doing things.

She let her hair down from the firm ponytail that had became painful, and steadied herself to remain awake and sane on her feet. She had no idea how long she scrolled her phone meaninglessly, when she spotted a single spotlight taking the corner in the distance. Blood ran cold in her veins when she actually realised - it is a bike. She anxiously walked to the opposite side of her car, hoping to put something between herself and the biker passing by.

She felt as one billiard ball settled into her stomach and one in her throat, when the bike started to slow down, getting closer and so louder. The light was too blinding for her to catch a glimpse of who was sitting on it. She felt her nails cutting into the palm of her hand, as she made a closed fist out of her fingers beside herself. Her left hand was clutching onto the strap of her backpack. Her heart fluttered and every ounce of aír got stuck in her lungs, when the bike stoppe and she recognized the rider.

It was Benny.

She couldn't breathe when they find each other's eyes for the first time after five years. And then she looked away nervously. She couldn't do this! She wasn't able to! She didn't have the strength! She was not sure if she ever will have it. Robert's words still played on repeat in her mind – killed him, jail, five years, released yesterday.

Stella heard the engine of the bike rattle a bit, then the engine and light was shut off. The metallic rattling let her know that the kickstand took the bike's massive weight. From the corner of her eye, she saw Benny dismount off the bike.

She felt overwhelmed. She had to force herself to take a slow and deep breath through her nose. She pushed her black painted nails further into her palm so far it was painful. The pain reminded her – fake it till' you make it. It didn't mattered if she didn't felt brave, if she didn't felt confident. It wasn't written on her forehead! She had to act the part to sell it. She felt the need to save face! Because she felt like a massive idiot and she was a massive idiot, who believed the things her sister told her, instead of looking for answers herself.

Benny couldn't believe his chances. He stood up from the bike and walked on the opposite side of the car from her. He felt cheated by his own memories. Betrayed by his own mind. She was much more beautiful than he remembered. Her face was just...mesmerizing. But he couldn't overlook her obviously disturbed emotions which all sat on her tensed up face.

"Hi, Stella."

She felt like his voice alone was threatening to collapse her false confidence, like a violent earthquake testing a flimsy little building. He only said two words, but she already recognized the difference - his voice was deeper than it used to be. After all these years, after everything, she was still completely attuned to him.

"Hi." She forced it through her teeth. "Th-thanks for stopping but i already called triple A so..." Stella wanted back the real confidence she had dealing with Johnny earlier today. That's what she wanted as her armour and shield! Standing unbothered in front of a man who would kill her just for shits and giggles. And now she stands on weak legs, insecure, vulnerable and scared. In front of Benny, who she used to run to for safety.

"You're all right though?!" He asked with a concerned look and glanced down at the flat tire. She must have been driving at quite the speed for it to be in this condition. Benny studied the road towards the direction he was coming from and the headlights of the Porsche showed the braking marks on the concrete. "Quite the spin you had!" Benny said with peaceful patience and lifted his arms onto the roof of the car, crossing his fingers. As he studied her face, he realized that her hair is way longer than it used to be. A few more inches and it would have reached her hips. He cracked his fingers as he wrestled with the want of running them through her hair.

Stella felt like a mute. She just shrugged her shoulders. She was not all right! At all. She wanted him to disappear! To go on where he was heading to and leave her here with all of her misery. She wanted a release from under his influence. He didn't even had to be close to her or do anything, she felt overwhelmed by his sheer presence alone. Even after all these years, even after how things have ended between them, he still had too strong of a grip on her.

He studied her clothes. What he could see from this angle. She used to wear a lot of dresses with all sorts of prints, pleated skirts with printed shirts. He remembered all of the collared sweaters and cardigans she wore during the summer. It often made him question her sanity in the first few days of knowing her. Wearing warm clothes and black thights under her skirts and dresses in the scolding summer heat of California. It made sense after he noticed her bruises. She hid them with pretty, layered clothing. She used to wear ballerinas and oxford shoes. After she became a regular on his bike, started to wear jeans and shorts with sneakers and ankle boots.

Now she wore a pair of tight black jeans and a white shirt with rolled up sleeves. He glanced at her hand that kept a tight grip on her backpack straps. Her nails looked long and black. She wore some rings as well. Benny watched her face with more focus. She was purposefully looking anywhere but him. When he arrived she walked to the other side of the car. She used to do this when she felt afraid or insecure. Putting distance and obstacles between herself and people. But she never used to do this with him. Benny swallowed hard. Maybe she is afraid of him?!

"I heard someone bought the farm." Benny remained polite and patient while feeling a desperate need to get her talking, to hear her voice, to get her to look at him, to get her to react to him in any other way than distant. He wanted to see her eyes that he was always able to read so well. He searched for an ounce of warmth still left in her to give him. He felt like a man freezing to death hoping for a spark to make a fire.

"Yeah." Stella said firm and tight. She thought she will never see him again, but she never would have expected her own reaction being this. She was frustrated in a completely different way than she used to be around him. Back then she was frustrated all kinds of sexual ways. Now she feels this insoluble stress out of anger, disappointment, guilt and sadness. And she doesn't know how to deal with it, let alone how to mask it in the presence of him.

Benny wasn't surprised she doesn't want to talk about that and he should have known better to try to get her to talk to him opening with that. But he didn't know what he's supposed to say. So many things have changed. He changed. Maybe she changed too. But he still felt an overwhelming care, love and desire towards her. He continously cracked his fingers on the top of the car out of frustration. He still not dared to move, because he didn't wanted to stress her even further than she already seemed to be.

They both felt the stalemate they were standing in. Neither of them knew, who they would be talking to if they started. They only knew each other in the past. And that is gone.

Between Stella's overwhelming emotions, one was louder than the rest. It was confusion. That was what fueled all of it – the anger, the sadness, the guilt. Confusion birthed it all and it would not let her ignore it! She didn't wanted to feel like this.

Like a river flowed in it's natural direction and couldn't do otherwise even if it tried, she couldn't remain disinterested, cold and distant towards Benny. She could do it to anyone and everyone! But not to him.

She swallowed hard. Her fingers opened up from her closed fist. The blood started to rush back at her fingers with a tingling sensation. "I ha-have talked to Robert and he said something i...i don't understand." At first she had trouble finding her own voice and words.

"Hmmm." Benny hummed quietly but audibly. His full attention was on her.

"He said...you were at my house that...the night my father died." Stella still stuttered lightly.

"I was." Benny said with a calm but firm tone.

Stella's instincts were blazing red and blasting loud to push this matter until she gets to the truth. She wasn't sure that's what she wanted, but she was absolutely sure that was what she needed to hear to be able to breathe again. And the only person left for her to be able to trust, was Benny.

"Did you kill him?" Stella's voice was barely audible, but Benny had no problem hearing it clearly. All of his senses were sharpened to receive anything that came from her direction. He was aware of the fact that ever since he arrived, she barely was able to breathe. He knew that feeling well. That is how he felt ever since that night that the cops took him, without telling him if she was still alive or not.

"I did."

Stella's throat dried into a desert. A bitter taste appeared in her mouth. But she was able to breathe again. Oxygen rushed to her brain that was starving of it becaused of her so far laboured breathing. She didn't felt like crying at all. She felt liberated. But not for long. She still felt angry. She still felt guilty. She took a step back from her car, towards the dark trees beside the road. She couldn't face Benny.

Benny felt as his own heart has been stepped on. He lightly pushed himself away from the car while Stella's back was still turned towards him. He didn't wanted to startle her, so he stopped with his back leaning against Stella's side of the car.

Stella sensed the fact that he moved somewhat closer to her. He took her previously occupied place on this side of the car. He felt clueless about what to do or say. He kept cracking his knucles and nervously looking left and right. Stella just now noticed a little detail about his appearance – he wasn't wearing his club's vest and patches.

"Im sorry!" These were the words that came to Stella first.

Benny glanced at her curiously. "About what?"

"All...all of it." She said shrugging her shoulders and lifting her arms a little out of confusion. "For that night...for..." Stella couldn't even finish because she didn't know what to say. "But you know that i never asked such things...of you and i would...i would never ask you to..."

"I know." Benny nodded. "And you'd never have to!" He added quietly.

"I've never wanted this to happen. Any of it...what happened to you!"

A big and heavy sigh erupted from her as she tried to chase away the need to cry. Benny stepped away from the car, but he only took one big step. His hands instantly found their place on Stella's waist and then on her back, pulling her body onto his. And she could not resist. Her head found it's place between his chest and shoulder. She smelled engine oil, dust, sweat, cigarettes and something that resembled body wash or deodorant in a much earlier hour of the day. But most of all, she smelled something unexplainable, but only clearly and instinctively identifiable to her as Benny. Safety and comfort instantly took over and put he rinto a weakened state. Her hands found their way onto the back of Benny's t-shirt and clutched it hard.

A pair of lights illuminated them as a car was approaching on the road.

Stella felt like the real world hit her right out of the pleasant memories of the past. She retreated her hands off of Benny's back and took two steps backwards, and turned towards her car.

The man looked at her behind the truck's rolled down window.

"Are you Stella?" He asked with a tired frown.

"Yes. I called." Stella nodded.

"Okay. You said you've got a spare?!"

"Yes. As much as im aware. I never had to use it." Stella said insecure.

She nervously glanced between the man and Benny who had absolutely no intentions of changing Stella's tires. The sooner she has the new on, the sooner she will disappear from his sight, again. Benny softly grabbed Stellas upper arm, to lead her away from the ears of the working man.

"What do you mean by talking to Robert?" Benny asked with fiery eyes but on a calm and composed tone.

"That i talked with Robert." Stella said plainly.

"No, not that...i mean...you said it like you had no idea that i was in your house that night!" Benny said, just as confused as Stella was a few minutes ago.

"Because i didn't know!"

"No one told you what went down that night? I mean...your sister?!"

Stella swallowed hard.

"No. She didn't say anything about it." She said quietly with remorse.

Benny glanced at the guy who was almost ready with Stella's tires.

"They didn't even tell me if you were all right or not! Benny said defeated.

Stella scoffed.

She couldn't deal with it all right now.

"I...i need to go!" She said confused and directionless, but only when she wanted to move, she realized that he is still holding onto her arm.

"Please don't go!" Benny asked with a broken and defeated tone.

"Please just...let go, i need to go!" Stella desperately clawed his off of her arm and walked towards her finished car. It hurt her so much. Everything hurt so much. To see him, to hear his voice, to have his hand on her again. To be here with him, to not to stay with him. She signed the paper for the man, paid him, hopped into the car and just drove. She hoped the pain will disappear by the time she arrived back at the apartment.

[beauty-and-passion]

Headcanon: the doomed future of Father Cronus

I thought my next headcanon post would come after the introduction of the Orange Side. But then I had a great brainstorming session with my dear friend @dorriostareyes about this part of my headcanon and it was so fun, I had to further develop it in a full post.

(Of course, if you, my dear - or anyone else - want to add more, feel free to do it! I would’ve never written this post without your contribution after all :D)

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An obligatory premise

In order to understand where this headcanon comes from, there are a couple things you have to know first. If you read any of my fanfictions, maybe you already know them. But in case you haven’t or you forgot, here they are:

1) There’s a reason why Janus has this name and the reason is that, just like the god whose name he bears, he can see the past and the future. His vision of the future, however, is not 100% perfect or accurate: he can see possible futures, doomed futures, or parts of the actual future. He can only interpret and decide which one to follow - or wait for the future to just happen.

2) Every time Janus meets a new Side, the mind gives him an introduction about who this Side is/will be and it shows him the possible futures of this Side. For Logan, it showed him how he could thrive or wither. For Roman and Remus, the mind showed him a future in which Thomas used them both.

And for Patton, the mind showed him two possible futures: in the first one, Patton is a caring, father figure, the Sides are all together and Janus can trust him. In the second one, Patton is a tyrant who takes control over the mind and his figure is associated with the god Cronus.

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Who is Cronus?

Cronus is the ancient god of time from Greek mythology. He is famous because he overthrew his father Uranus (the primordial ruler of the universe) and became the new ruler by taking his throne.

However, soon Cronus learned from his mother Gaia (the primordial mother earth) that he was destined to be overthrown by his own children, just as he has overthrown his father. To avoid that, he devoured all of his children, as soon as they were born. Only the last son, Zeus, escaped his fury, thanks to his mother who devised a plan to save him. This plan will then lead to Zeus successfully overthrowing his father and becoming the new ruler of the universe, thus fulfilling the prophecy. But that’s another story.

So, as you can see, Cronus isn’t exactly a nice figure. He is an incredibly powerful force of chaos and disorder: he is not just a god, but a Titan i.e. a primordial force of the universe. And he defeated the first ruler of the universe. According to the myth, the Titans were ALL scared of Uranus: only Cronus was bold enough to take the lead and defeat him.

But Cronus is also a being who was so afraid to lose his power, to do the most terrible thing a father could ever do: devour his own children. If you’ve ever seen Saturn Devouring His Son from Goya you might have an idea of what I’m talking about.

And this was also the starting point for my headcanon.

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The association with Patton

Patton is and will always be a very powerful Side. He is the center of Thomas’ emotions and his own heart. Patton is a force impossible to ignore: whether Thomas wants it or not, in the end, he will always have to deal with Patton.

Patton never used his power with malice: he did wrong, sure, but never to hurt. His one and only goal was always to guide and help Thomas.

Patton is a great liar and manipulator but, again, he never does it because he wants to hurt others. He never forces the other Sides to agree with him. All he wants is to work together.

This is the Patton we all know, the one that has always talked about cooperation and compromise, the one who does wrong and apologizes, the one with no bad intentions behind his actions.

But how would Patton be if, instead of pursuing compromise, he focused on his goals only? How would he be, if he decided that he was right and everyone else was wrong? How would he be, if he used his influence and power with malice?

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The one and only ruler

This Patton is a tyrant. He is the only guide Thomas ever needs, the only Core Side, the main one. Thomas must follow him and listen to his advice only, because Patton knows best: he knows what’s good and what’s bad, so if Thomas has any doubts, he should ask him. Patton will always guide him on the right path.

Of course, this Patton didn’t get so much influence in a day: he gained it slowly, day by day, by being on Thomas’ side for every little thing. Oh, a friend is asking for your help, Thomas, wouldn’t it be nice to help? It would and you would be very happy! See? Aren’t you happy, now that your friend is happy too? Good kids are happy when their friends are happy and you are a good kid, so of course you’re happy!

Look, Thomas, that poor child doesn’t have anything while you already have so much. Wouldn’t it be nice to give your toy to them? Aren’t you good? You are and good kids like you always do good things.

Mom and Dad are so proud of you, Thomas, when you do good things! You should always be good, so they will be happy too. And others will be happy too. Wouldn’t it be nice to be good for the rest of your life and always take care of others?

And Thomas would listen. Why should he question Patton, after all? He’s his guide, he always points him on the right track. If Patton says something is good, then he can be sure that thing is good. And if he says something (or someone) is bad, then Thomas should stay away from it as much as possible and everything will be okay.

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“Devouring his sons”

This Patton is a tyrant, but he’s also a father. He has a family, of course. And he is more than happy to introduce his kids to Thomas.

The first Side he introduces is Logan: he’s Thomas’ logic, so he is immensely helpful! He will help Thomas through knowledge, he will show him proofs of goodness and, when Thomas doubts Patton, Logan will provide evidence to support Patton’s point. After all, Patton is always right so it’s natural that logic would be on his side.

The second Side Patton introduces is Roman: he’s Thomas’ creativity, so he is even more helpful! Thanks to him, Thomas will find a lot of ways to help others. Roman is full of wonderful, family-friendly ideas that will always do good and be good, so Thomas knows he can do them and be even better than he already is.

And then, Patton introduces another, random Side. And this one is his kid too, of course: everyone is his kid and he’s a father of a very big, happy family!

But Thomas should be careful because this kid is problematic. This kid doesn’t behave too well. This kid can be dangerous for Thomas. And yes, sure, Patton talks to him and does his best to make him good, but this kid is still very bad. He just refuses to be good. Thomas can’t be good with such a bad Side around. What if he does something terrible because of this Side? What if he hurts someone, because of this Side?

Thomas can’t hurt anyone. He should - no, he must be good. And the bad Side refuses to change. Can Thomas do anything? No, of course not, only Patton can do something but, oh no, nothing works. Maybe they can ignore this Side? No, they can’t either, because this bad Side will always push Thomas to do bad things. And Thomas doesn’t want to be bad, right?

There is only one thing they can do to solve the problem and, as always, Patton has the right answer.

As I said in my headcanon about the life of a Side, Sides cannot kill nor be killed. The only one who can hurt them is Thomas. So, what would happen, if Thomas gets forced to choose between “a very dangerous” Side and his one and only guide, who has always shown him the right thing to do?

Just like Cronus devoured his sons, this Patton would (metaphorically) do the same. He would be the tyrant, who rules the mind over mountains of bodies: the bodies of all the Sides he made Thomas kill, to keep his power intact.

Because he’s the only one who is good.

Because he is the only one who is right.

And Thomas should be as good and righteous as Patton wants him to be.

And so, every time a new Side appears to challenge him or even just to change Thomas’ perspective, Patton welcomes said Side with open arms and sugary smiles, introduces him to Thomas, shows Thomas how terrible and bad this Side is and how impossible it is to change himm, then he convinces Thomas to destroy that Side.

Of course he won’t talk about “killing”, nor “destroying”: he would just tell Thomas he has to “get rid of” that Side. Because that’s what Patton is doing: he’s getting rid of all the bad things that might push Thomas to be bad.

All he’s doing all of this for Thomas’ sake.

Only after some time, Thomas will finally realize what he’s actually doing when he “gets rid” of a Side. But he doesn’t have to worry: Patton is here to reassure him that was absolutely the right thing to do. Patton knows Thomas better than the mind. And it doesn’t matter if the mind keeps creating “bad” Sides: Patton is there, to help Thomas recognize between good and bad.

Because only the good Sides will survive.

Because only the Sides who work with him can survive.

Because if you are against him, you will be destroyed.

Would Thomas have any doubts about this whole thing? Sure, of course. But Patton is his good, trustworthy guide. He would never give him bad advice.

And so the cycle goes: new Sides are born and try to oppose Patton, only to get destroyed. Because either you are with him or you are against him.

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Logan: neutral yet cold

This Thomas won’t be an actor. He must help others, so he must do a job centered on this.

Like being a doctor. A doctor can help a lot more people than an actor and bring a lot more good into the world. It’s the perfect job and Thomas must do his best, to be as morally righteous as Patton wants him to be.

This job is the gift Patton gave to Logan, to get him on his side. Patton always knew logic is very powerful and that having logic against him would be a HUGE thorn in his side. How can he justify his morals to Thomas, if logic itself is against him? How can he make his power more stable, if one of the strongest destabilizers works against him?

And so, he tries to lull him with his usual weapons: sugary words, cuteness, an overly innocent behavior.

Nothing works, because Logan does not care. He does not care about morals and emotions because those are not his area of expertise. His only goal is to gather more knowledge.

So Patton makes him an offer instead: work with me and I will let you be closer to Thomas than any other Side. Work with me and I will grant you access to all the knowledge you want.

This works: Logan is interested. He agrees and Patton convinces Thomas that being a doctor is what he has always wanted.

This puts Logan in the best possible position: like every Side, he wants to be close to Thomas and this job allows him to be close to Thomas almost all day. He can also constantly expand his mind because doctors never stop studying and learning. He has everything he wants.

In exchange, all he has to do is support Patton’s ideas when necessary. He just has to pick all the evidence supporting him and ignore the ones against him. That’s all. And, again, not that Logan cares: all he cares about are knowledge and being close to Thomas. Feelings are not involved.

So, well, the good thing about this possible future is that this Logan is the fully neutral logic he is supposed to be. However, this Logan never deals with his emotions - on the contrary, he completely ignores them. He doesn’t care about Pattor or the other Sides, he doesn’t care about the constant battle of the mind against the tyrant. He just took advantage of the situation: Patton is the one in charge, no one can overthrow him, so he sides with him to get what he wants. Simple as that.

However, since this cooperation is not made out of love but of convenience, if Logan is sure Patton is going to lose, he won’t have any problem changing sides. Still, even if he does that, he won’t openly oppose Patton: he would still pretend to be on his side while working on the sidelines for the resistance. He would be a major player in the exchange of information, a great help in letting more Sides talk to Thomas and his knowledge would be incredibly useful in general.

Still, he won’t do any of that, until he is absolutely sure of Patton’s defeat. He won’t lose everything he gained, for “morals”, “good causes” or “wellbeings”. Those are all concepts he doesn’t understand or care about. All he wants is knowledge and if someone can grant him that, he will work with them.

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Roman: Prince without kingdom

If Roman is angsty in canon, in this possible future Roman is very, very miserable.

He is the Side most influenced by Patton, who molded him into the perfect, obedient son. He’s still allowed to make Thomas creative, but his creativity should always be good and righteous and serve others, not the ego.

That would tear Roman inside because he is not just Creativity, but Ego too. And, according to these morals, he should basically deny half of his role, while constantly stifling the other half to meet impossibly high morals.

As a result, his ego is devastated and Roman clings to every second of creativity Patton grants him, no matter how much he should twist and turn his works to meet Patton's standards.

And these seconds won’t even be enough: Thomas is a doctor, so there’s not too much room for Creativity. Roman’s time with Thomas would be short and even shorter will be the times when he can use his abilities.

Still, would he complain about that? Oh no, he can’t. He should be the perfect son of Patton’s perfect happy family: he can’t complain, nor criticize his father.

But he can try asking for a little more. A little more creative freedom, a little more time with Thomas, a little more in general. Patton can grant him this, right?

Sure, Patton would say with a kind smile and soft words. He can give Roman everything he needs. He’s already giving him everything he needs! He has plenty of space to be creative: he has a whole room to do beautiful, good things. And he has Thomas too! Thomas is aware of his existence, so he can ask for Roman every time he needs him. Isn’t that perfect? Isn’t that what Roman wants too? To be useful for Thomas? He always says he wants to work for him: isn’t he happy to do that? Sure he is. Then all he has to do is keep doing his great job. He’s a beautiful, good, righteous prince. He knows what is good and what is bad. And if he has any questions, he can always ask for his dad and Patton will help him immediately!

And so Roman trusts Patton and keeps going with his job. He is a righteous prince. He should be the one Patton wants him to be.

However, he would still be consumed inside by jealousy. Logan spent 30 minutes talking to Thomas? He’s jealous. Logan can expand his knowledge as much as he wants? He’s jealous. A new Side is introduced to Thomas and spends some hours with him? He’s jealous.

And of course he is, he’s the embodiment of ego. He wants things for himself. But, again, Patton taught him to not be selfish so Roman can’t be selfish.

That leads to him constantly denying his own nature, keeping his thoughts inside and venting only in the depths of his room, deeply hidden from Patton’s sight.

This Roman won’t care about the Others. He would barely see them - except for the occasional Side that is introduced to Thomas and then destroyed. For Roman, they are just a bunch of terrible Sides, who constantly try to oppose Patton and their happy family.

Does that mean he would be able to physically hurt one of the Others? I don’t think so. It would be too much for him. And if he does it even by mistake, he would be obsessed and consumed inside. No matter if Patton comforts him and says it's okay and he did well: slaying fake monsters is a thing, slaying a Side is haunting. It’s a being like him. And hurting others should be wrong, right? Hurting is bad, right? And he’s not bad. He’s good. He must be good.

What would Roman think about his brother, Remus? Well, that’s more complicated. Roman should care about his brother because he’s his brother and family is important and caring for family is good. But Remus is full of weird, awful, bad ideas. And Roman can’t have bad ideas. He can’t be bad. He’s good. He’s a good prince.

As I said in my previous headcanon posts, Remus’ ideas can rise from his room up to Roman’s. If under normal circumstances Roman would just let them be and modify an occasional good idea when necessary, in this timeline he would be so obsessed with the idea of being good and righteous at all costs, to not let them emerge as much as they should. He would voluntarily block most of them and the few that can go past his control would be hidden deep down, away from Patton’s sight.

The final result is a very tamed creativity, even more tamed by Roman himself, in a desperate attempt to make his creations acceptable to his father figure. Maybe, if Patton likes them, he will give him more freedom. Maybe, if Patton likes them, he will grant him more time with Thomas.

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Remus: the most hated Side

Remus is everything Patton’s morals are not and this makes him the most hated Side of the entire mind. Every time Remus sets foot in the Subconscious, Patton is already there, ready to stop him. They would look at each other and Patton, with his sweetest tone and honeyed words, would ask him to come back into his stinking place, where his hideous influence won’t touch Thomas or his brother.

Or, if he wants, he can take another step. And suffer the consequences.

Remus won’t give a shit about Patton’s insults or his subtle threats. He doesn’t care about his morals. He doesn’t care to be nice or diplomatic: he sees past Patton's shit and openly tells him he is the worst. He does not move an inch and just tells him how disgusting he is.

It’s fun to tell Patton what he thinks, but Remus is still pissed. Patton is still succeeding in pushing him back. Remus still can’t find a way to get past his control.

But we all know Remus has a sharp mind: if Patton stops him, it’s because Remus hasn’t found the right way to sneak past him yet. He has to be more clever, more subtle, more creative. And so he keeps trying: he tries to sneak into the Subconscious, he tries to sneak his ideas into his brother’s room. He doesn’t always succeed, but when he does, it’s a small victory and it pushes him to try harder, to be even more creative.

Because that’s all it is about: being creative. He wants to free his creativity - and to free his brother’s creativity too. He’s Creativity just like him, so he deserves to create whatever he wants, no matter if Roman doesn’t think so. He’s his stupid himbo bro, after all, and Remus just wants to have fun by annoying him as all brothers do.

And he can't do it if Patton stays in the way.

Remus would be an absolute bitch. If the Others are the only force strong enough to oppose Patton, Remus is the one who tries the most. He has reckless plans and risks his life more than any other Side: but he’s clever, he always finds a way. And when he gets into trouble, Janus saves him before Patton can land a finger on him.

The result is that Remus keeps annoying the shit out of Patton and Patton can’t manage to get him long enough to destroy him.

At the same time, Patton isn’t sure he really wants to destroy Remus. First of all, he’s Roman’s brother and he’s not sure he will keep Roman’s blind trust intact if he kills his brother. Secondly, Remus is a rather huge part of Thomas’ Creativity (even if Patton doesn’t like the idea in the slightest) and the consequences of destroying him might be very dangerous for Thomas’ life. Too dangerous to even try.

_______________________________

Virgil: a son and a spy

If in canon Patton and Virgil are a very powerful team, here they would be a terrifying good team. If Logan is the justification Patton needs to keep his power intact, Virgil is the force that scares everyone into submission, Thomas first. A grim reminder of how good and righteous he should always be: this is exactly what Patton wants.

So, just like he did with Logan, Patton tries to pull Virgil to his side. Virgil is a good guy, after all, he just wants to protect Thomas. And Patton can explain it to Thomas. He can convince Thomas to see Virgil in a better light and accept him. Doesn’t Virgil want to talk to Thomas? Doesn't he want to protect him? Doesn't he want to be accepted? If he works with Patton, he will be accepted. He saw what happened, to all the bad Sides who didn't work with Patton: they are all destroyed now. But he can avoid this terrible fate, work with Patton and be part of his perfect happy family, in which everyone does what Patton wants. Wouldn't that be great?

Virgil would be very, VERY conflicted about this offer. He knows Patton is too powerful and must be stopped: he actively works with Janus and the Others to do exactly that. He constantly tries to get to Thomas, for the sole purpose of reducing Patton’s influence on him.

At the same time, Virgil is a Side and all Sides want is to get closer to their person. In Virgil’s case, this need overlaps with another need: he wants to fulfill his role as Thomas’ protector. And, to do that, he can’t leave Thomas with Patton, the last Side who will be able to protect him.

But working with Patton makes him even more anxious. Virgil knows what happened to all of his dead brothers and he knows that, by working so close to Patton, he has to watch his every move, if he wants to survive. He has to keep calm and collected. He has to lie and hide his real thoughts. And he has to do all of this while being in the enemy’s territory 24/7, with zero contacts with the Others and zero ways to get in touch with them - because if Patton ever finds out, he won’t live long enough to regret it.

Virgil would be torn inside between two equally powerful forces: his fears and his need to protect. What should he do? What is the right choice?

He would talk with Janus about that. He would discuss Patton’s offer with him and Remus. And, in the end, it would be Janus himself to tell him to accept, for three reasons:

Virgil would fulfill his primary role as a Side (i.e. to be closer to Thomas)

Thomas’ protection is more important than anything else. If Virgil joins Patton, he will be constantly controlled, sure, but if he behaves, he would be allowed to talk to Thomas and protect him. And Thomas needs a protector as close to him as possible.

Virgil would be Janus' eyes in enemy territory and see if the Core Sides are willing to help overthrow Patton. He should be a spy, for the others and Thomas’s sake.

And, so Virgil becomes Janus’ spy. He goes to Patton, with an already planned lie: he left the Others because he and Janus had a fight. Because Janus insists they have to oppose Patton, but Virgil thinks maybe Patton is right, since he is so good at guiding Thomas. Maybe they should just follow Patton. But Janus refuses to understand, so Virgil left to prove him wrong.

The lie is plausible, enough for Patton to allow Virgil in. Still, he keeps a close eye on everything he does. But Virgil behaves: he doesn’t do anything weird, zero contact with the Others, Janus himself says he doesn’t want to hear from him.

Little does Patton know they don’t have to meet in person, to communicate. A slight change in Thomas’ behavior, a tiny act of selfishness, anything is good enough to prove to Janus that Virgil is okay and he’s protecting Thomas. His son is doing his job.

Virgil’s life as part of Patton’s perfect happy family won’t be easy. In the beginning, he would be very discreet with the other Core Sides. He would keep to himself and spend most of his time looking at how they talk, react and think. He learns about their jobs and thoughts. On the surface, he does it because he wants to better know them. Deep down, he’s searching for any chance of possible cooperation.

Logan would be tricky for Virgil, because of his lack of emotions. He would have a hard time, trying to figure him out. Until it would be Logan himself, with his clever brain, to realize Virgil is still on Janus’ side.

And so, he hints he knows and Virgil asks him to not tell anything. Logan would comply: after all, Patton never asked him to check if Virgil was on his side or not. Their deal is only about Logan’s cooperation with Patton... and if he made a deal with Patton, he can make deals with anyone else.

That’s what Virgil needed: now he knows that, if necessary, Logan would side with him and the Others.

Virgil’s relationship with Roman, on the other hand, would be very different - and yet, somehow similar to canon. At first, Roman won’t like Virgil because “urgh, he’s just another awful Side that steps into our perfect family” and Virgil won’t like Roman, because “urgh, he’s just a stupid, brainwashed Side”.

But the more time he will spend with him, the more he will start to feel sorry for him. This Virgil is used to Remus’ bright creative outbursts, so it’s very sad to see Remus’ brother, another Creativity, be so stifled. Virgil would spend time with him, give him appreciation, talk about trivial stuff. It would be an extremely slow plan to erode all the strict morals Patton instilled inside him - but he should still be extra careful because Patton is always watching.

Initially, Roman would be annoyed, but then he would slowly open up to Virgil. Before him, all he had were Patton and Thomas. Now he has someone to talk to, to laugh with, to show his works to. Someone he can, maybe, even call... friend.

This is Virgil’s new life. A life constantly on the line, with a terrifying tyrant watching upon him, while slowly gaining the other Side’s trust. Only at night, hidden in the room Patton accommodated for him to keep him away from the Others, he would let his thoughts roam freely and miss his family. He would miss Remus doing his crazy shit, his dead brothers and the ones still alive. And he would miss Janus, the father who gave him such a difficult mission, because they both knew how important it was to protect Thomas.

_______________________________

Janus: the leader of the opposition

There is no doubt that, due to the knowledge he gained long ago from his vision of the future, Janus would be the first one to oppose Patton. He would oppose him by all means: by openly telling him what he thinks of his morals, by openly admitting he will never side with him, by constantly finding new ways to get past his control, so that his Sides can get closer to Thomas.

While in canon Janus takes care of three Sides, in this universe he would take care of a lot more Sides. He would have a lot of sons, all born from the mind in a desperate attempt of the mind itself to contrast Patton’s oppressive morals.

Janus would love each and every son. He would take care of them and give them the family they deserve. They would trust each other and make plans together, trying to find a way to get them as close to Thomas as possible. Janus would send them in the Conscious with a blessing.

And he would see each of his beloved sons being destroyed.

That would make him even more melancholic and cynical, compared to canon. He would live in constant pain for all of his losses. It’s hard for a father to lose one son, just imagine how devastating it would be to lose sons all the time.

At the same time, these losses would make him even more motivated in his battle against Patton. He wants to stop him and he will do it. Patton might be the one in charge, but things always change. And even though Janus still doesn't have a vision of the future in which things changed, they will anyway. He believes it. He has to believe it, because he refuses to think his kids will live in an oppressive tyranny forever.

Remus and Virgil would be the closest sons to him: Remus is wild, unpredictable, clever and an amazing ally. Also, he’s a creative force. And there’s another creativity he wants to get back, a force closer to Thomas: his brother, who is unable to express his creativity in full like him.

And, as the mind suggested to him long ago, Janus knows Thomas needs both of these aspects of creativity to work well.

Virgil is the son closest to Janus, the most similar to him: they are both protectors, they have the same visions of the world, they both understand the importance of taking care of Thomas.

And so, when he becomes a spy for Janus and the Others, Janus completely trusts him. He knows Virgil can do it. He knows he can survive. He’s clever, he’s strong, he’s good. He can do it. They plan everything together, down to the details. They are ready.

And then, that same evening, Janus finally realizes he is sending his most beloved child into the enemy’s territory. He won't be there to support or save him if things go bad. He won't be able to talk with him for a very long time. Maybe, if things go wrong, he won’t see him anymore.

That’s the only time Janus would break down completely and allow himself to be weak and desperate, to cry all of his tears and fear for the future.

But then, the day after, he would get back on his feet. Surrender is never an option. He will keep opposing the tyrant forever. Even if Patton destroys everyone else, even if only the two of them remain, he would still oppose him.

Their battle would mostly be made of conversations and subterfuges. Patton refuses to listen to anyone who goes against him - except for Janus. Janus is the only one who can talk to Patton, tell him he’s wrong, ask for a truce and get it.

However, those truces won’t live long: Patton might calm down for a week and give Thomas some peace of mind. But then he would suddenly destroy something or someone, claiming that Thomas wasn’t "as morally righteous as he was two days ago" and that he had to intervene.

In response, Janus would make more plans to get his Sides closer to Thomas. They might appear in the Subconscious, in Thomas’ dreams or whisper things to him while Patton is busy. Patton finds out about these rebellions, maybe even tries to get the trespassers, but fails. When he and Janus meet again, Janus would deny everything, while still confirming he won’t let Patton do whatever he wants.

Despite that - and despite knowing full well Janus is behind all of this - Patton never tries to destroy him.

Why? Essentially for two big reasons:

1) To make Thomas destroy Janus, Patton should first introduce him to Thomas, then convince Thomas he doesn’t need Janus.

But if he introduces Janus to Thomas, Patton would automatically lose this battle. Being introduced to Thomas is exactly what Janus wants: if he can talk to Thomas, he will tell him the truth, unlock all secrets and make him aware of what’s happening in his mind.

In addition to that, Patton will never be able to convince Thomas that Janus isn’t useful. He is Thomas’ self-preservation: no excuse is good enough to justify getting rid of him. Even if he says Janus is Thomas’ deceitful side. That won’t work either, because that’s not all Janus is and Patton knows very well.

Janus’ role is too deeply rooted in Thomas' existence. He can’t die and Patton can’t let it happen. Because destroying him would mean killing Thomas and everyone else.

2) Even if Janus wasn’t such a fundamental part of Thomas’ existence, Patton would still refuse to destroy him. And the reason is that, deep down, below all layers of self-righteousness, he still cares. He still sees Janus as Safe, his first friend. And he still wants his friend by his side.

Just imagine how powerful would he be, with the power of Thomas' own self-preservation supporting him. No one would oppose him ever again. He would be unstoppable, the one and only true ruler of the mind.

And so, he would offer Janus to be on his side. He would try to convince him with everything he has: threats, sugary words, memories of their childhood, deals. He would offer him power and control over everything. And he would see his offer being rejected every. Single. Time.

That would make him very, VERY mad. Why can’t Janus understand that Patton is right about everything? Why is he still so stubborn? He hates him. And yet, he still asks him again and again and again. And he still cares.

And Janus would use this attachment as leverage - because he also, deep down, still cares about his old friend. Otherwise, why would he waste so much time talking to him? Because he wants his friend back. Because saw two possible futures, when he was young: he saw the tyrant, but he saw a father too. A kind, gentle figure who worked with him and with all the Sides, who didn’t want to be a tyrant, but just a father.

Janus wants that future. And he will do anything in his power to get it.

_______________________________

The mind: loss of balance

Aside from Janus who would spend years suffering for the whole situation, the mind would be the most compromised by Patton’s tyrannical rule. All the mind wants is to reach a balance and one Side ruling over everything and everyone isn’t balanced at all.

So the mind keeps making new Sides. They are all born from the Unconscious and slowly, under the guidance of self-preservation, they find a way to get past the Subconscious and reach the Conscious, up to Thomas. And then, they get destroyed by the tyrant.

The mind gets divided into two huge domains: Conscious and Subconscious under the tyrant’s rule, Unconscious under Janus’ control. Despite wanting full control over the mind, Patton won’t try to venture into the dark domain of the Unconscious: too dangerous, too wild, too many enemies and not “good” enough. He fears it and keeps it away from his reign. He would meet Janus on the border between Subconscious and Unconscious, not one step further.

However, even though Patton doesn’t want to venture into the Unconscious, his actions would still affect it, as well as the whole mind. Thomas’ mental health oscillates between moments of pure concentration while working, to brief moments of self-fulfillment while doing something good for others, to feeling utterly miserable for hours because he neglects himself too much.

That’s a difficult balance to maintain forever. Patton can do his best to keep everything in balance, but all he needs is one mistake to lose everything. And the more he goes on, the more difficult it is.

In the worst-case scenario, Patton can do it. He can keep Thomas under his thumb until he dies - maybe while doing something to save others. And if Patton would tell him it’s good to die like this,  all Thomas would feel in his last moments is relief: he doesn’t have to think about others now. He doesn’t have to do it anymore. He can finally rest.

In the most plausible case, Patton makes one mistake. Maybe he asked Thomas a little too much at the wrong moment. Maybe he pushed Thomas once too often. Maybe Thomas just reaches his limit.

And that would cause the uprising of the Faint Ones.

_______________________________

A possible overthrown

As I said in my first headcanon post, the Faint Ones are an agglomeration of concepts and ideas hidden in the depths of the mind, which represent the darkest, most inhuman part of ourselves, way more inhuman than intrusive thoughts and with no real purpose rather than destruction.

All these forces want is to rise and take control but, when the mind is perfectly balanced, they are kept deep down by self-preservation and never find a way to get out.

However, when there is a huge mental problem or a big toll has been taken from the mind (i.e. after a murder), the Faint Ones can grow stronger. And the worse the situation is, the stronger they become.

In this case, the Faint Ones are already a lot stronger than they are in the "canon universe”. Janus pushes them down basically every day and still, they manage to gain more ground. It’s a constant struggle to not lose more planes to them.

Until the day Thomas reaches his limit and has a full breakdown.

As soon as the mind loses its balance and its power gets weaker, the Faint Ones grow stronger, break free and climb the Unconscious at full speed, by destroying thousands of planes in their wake.

The huge trespassing and the damage caused by them, instantly activate the mind’s defense mechanism, which consists of essentially two things happening at the same time:

All Sides automatically lose their power, get locked into their rooms by the mind, and fall into a deep sleep

Janus takes full control of the mind and pushes the Faint Ones down by force

This won’t be fast, but it will take at least a couple of days. And while self-preservation pushes these forces down again, it also starts rebuilding the damaged planes. It’s not a perfect rebuild, but it doesn’t matter: it should be strong enough to give Thomas’ mind something to keep the balance between Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious. Then it will be the mind itself to properly rebuild every plane. What matters now is that these forces are locked in the depths again and the mind is stable enough to not crumble.

The obvious consequence of all of this is that Patton will lose his power and Thomas will find out about Janus’ existence.

And the moment he finally meets him, he also realizes something very, very important: he needs help.

After his breakdown, this Thomas would do A LOT of therapy. He would need a very long time to reevaluate things in life and understand how wrong his mentality was. During this period, the mind would slowly start the rebuilding process, aiming for the balance it missed for a very long time.

However, the alarms won’t be turned off right away and Janus will still have full control for a very long time, to avoid any possible resurgences. Even after the alarms are off, he would still be unofficially in charge for some time, before the Sides can reach a full balance. And yes, scars would still be there, both in the planes and in the Sides’ minds. Time will help, but things just won’t be fully healed with a snap of the fingers.

Roman would take a very long time to heal, but the fact he is a creative force will surely help. Remus would help him explore more of his own creativity, Virgil would give him the appreciation he missed. Still, he would be deeply insecure and fear every moment he thinks about something selfish.

Logan would adapt quite soon, but his real change would take place in the far future, when he will finally confront his own feelings. And yes, he will also acknowledge that Patton’s rule was bad and that he is relieved to live in a better, more balanced mind.

While speaking of Patton… well, I like to think he would improve too, one day. Maybe he won’t completely switch from a tyrant to a father but he would mellow a lot.

Sure, he would still think he’s right and that he has always worked for Thomas’ wellbeing. However, he won’t be in charge anymore. He would offer his contributions only when allowed and they would be just a contribution out of many others. Thomas would be free to finally choose whatever he wants, without worrying about how selfish or not his choice is.

And Janus would keep Patton a on tight leash forever - something he would jokingly refer to as his reward and his punishment. He has his friend again, but he won’t be the same friend he had in his childhood. Things are different now. They are different and the mind is different too. But, this time, they can work together and compromise. And maybe, even if Patton will never say it, he likes this present too, when he can work with his friend and not constantly oppose him.

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_______________________________

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[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

@kamari2038 thank you so much for asking! here's a rudimentary breakdown, partly because i have projects in mind i don't want to spoil and partly cause i haven't worked out all the details yet

disclaimer : i was not a percy jackson kid, nor a greek mythology kid. so there are a lot of inaccuracies

i first thought of this idea back in 2020-2021. there was some kind of debate team event i saw i saw in high school and the topic of birds came up, and i thought of :

you can ignore the text, it's no longer really relevant to the story nowadays. i was just brainstorming.

a few days later i see a picture of tom hiddleston with blonde hair

and then i abandon the idea for 2 straight years.

2 years later :

(i made a collage for an art swap, also strategically cutting out lore 👀)

in my head this was a story about "cupid" (eros, but he likes this new name) , god of love, and son of aphrodite and ares. he had many siblings ofc, the erotes etc.

i know that the gods are immortal and eternal, but in my story, aphrodite argues with the rest of the gods and she decides she can't be goddess of love anymore. she'll focus on other aspects of her godliness i guess, like beauty, lust, procreation, etc.

but SOMEONE needs to take on the role. Aphrodite accepts to keep her duties until her son is ready to do it by himself. Cupid is doing an internship i guess, or a test run, or is going through a trial period -- however you want to put it. He is trained, being put in charge of a palace and works with his brothers and sisters, in charge of innocent crushes, lust, heartbreak, jealousy, etc.

(important detail, this is probably accurate to actual greek mythology, but the main 12's kids are the first to be born BABIES. they were born adults. so this is their first time seeing and raising children! keep that in mind.)

During this trial run, Cupid makes an enormous mistake. an unforgivable one. he faces the trial of gods and should be sentenced to "death", but aphrodite defends him and his sentence is reduced to "temporary banishment until he learns his lesson". He's on close watch. If he does anything too out of line during banishment, it's over for him. They also rip his heart out for secret reasons.

He's banished to an island, completely on his own, and is tested regularly to see his..."progress"..? This island is floating in the heavens, so imagine the visuals cause i'm bad with environments and can't provide any right now 👁👁

this island is literally all nature/jungle, except for a house/mansion he lives in. and he's sometimes visited by siblings-- which are basically his only social interactions. in his very free time, he designs animals and birds to inhabit his island and keep him company - so the cupid swan and sunset sparrow are his designs! and there are many more animals he wanted to make. he is also very inspired by earth animals, obviously.

also, detail, one of his siblings brought him this broadcast tv kind of thing, so he gets to watch human tv! and even later real human interactions broadcasts!

throughout his story, cupid needs to find a way to get out of his banishment, get his heart back and save humans from his sibling's incompetence, and one particular sister's plans. 👀

i don't draw him, or any characters from his story, as much nowadays, although i know i should -- lately i've been having some doubts about the whole greek/roman mythology thing because it feels overdone with percy jackson, lore olympus, etc. I have ideas about how i'd represent many other characters from greek mythology in cool ways, and i like this story overall, but i'm thinking of making my own mythology/lore system to avoid regurgitating the same clichés over and over again. but i can't even get started with that because everything's already been done !

this is all i have so far, let me know if there's anything else about this story you'd like to know, or your opinions, or if you can help me create some new god mythology god lore 🙏🙏🙏

and let me know if you'd like other posts like this about my other ocs! i have a bunch

thank you again @kamari2038 for giving me the opportunity to spill about this! i've always wanted to share oc content but every time i posted anything on them or about them nobody would even see it. you don't know how happy i was to see your reply.

i'll reblog this post with miis of the cast, that i made on miitomo this past summer :)

[p0ssumkingdom]

ok i dont see anyone else talking about the three throwaway classpects mentioned in kgtac so ill talk about it

PART 1: The System of KGTAC

when the john cosplayer asks about god tiers, dave firstly says that everyone and everything is made of aspects. what this implies about sburb itself, i still dont exactly understand. do certain concepts just happen to have a high composition of an aspect than others? like, would the idea of religion/zeal be made of hope? does the wind blow because the little breathlets in it like to do as they please? its surely an interesting idea cole thought to chew on. maybe john can become a zephyr since his god tier allows him to transform into the breath aspect itself, not as in "doing this would make him free from consquence" but more "this guy is now 99% concentrate breath aspect". the kgtac god tier system contrasts homestuck's god tier system, probably because homestuck is meta in a much different way to how kgtac is. ill just refer to them as h!godtiers and kc!godtiers to avoid confusion. Anyways as i was saying, h!godtiers are "assigned" to a person, whereas kc!godtiers ARE the person. i.e, an individual defines their mythological title in homestuck, and an individual is defined by their mythological title in kgtac. especially considering that there are millions of bajillions of class/aspect combos present in kc!dave and kc!karkat's multiverse, it would be entirely possible for that to be the case.

PART 2: The Mu of Pane

now that ive established my perspective on how kc!godtiers work, lets actually dissect some of them. we'll go in the order of kc!dave mentioning them. the mu of pane is only described as "an extremely powerful god tier", but that isnt much to go off of. instead i'll be using some research to perhaps mold it into thw shape of dave's description. "mu", or μ, is the twelfth letter of the greek alphabet, romanized as the letter m. it derives from the egyptian hieroglyph for water, which were modified by the phoenicians and named after their word for water, mem. in academics it can mean a LOT of things, so to save myself a headache ill use it to represent extremely small units, minimization operators, and the cleanliness of an orbital zone. this helps us narrow it down to two things, flow and reduction. "one who allows for flow" or "one who creates flow" is pretty boring, to me at least. sylph and page are already the "creation" classes, so maybe it could be "one who allows flow of aspect from one place to another". if we take the reduction route, "one who minimizes aspect" or "one who reduces aspect". personally, im going to go with the latter. when i think of "mu", i think about microns and shit. if you want to theorize about the guy who lets pane flow, i implore you to. speaking of pane, what is pane? dave says "pane as in window pane" which helps a lot actually. what is the one thing that windows do? they allow for the passage of light, knowledge. pane as an aspect relates to open-mindedness, focus, and transparency the most. on the other hand, pane could be corrupted into blind belief, fragility, and inflexibility. yknow, cus glass. pane is closely connected to light, mind, hope, and rage. pane players can encompass any of these traits to any degree! my first thought is kankri. kankri possesses mostly negative traits of pane, but hes very clearly focused and inflexible in what he believes in, whether it be for the best or worst. theres also probably a pun to be made for him being a pain. the Mu of Pane would not at all be like kankri though. a Mu of Pane, or one who restricts, reduces, and overall diminishes Pane, is an underminer. at their full potential, the Mu of Pane can blur the line between reality and surreality to the point where one cannot tell the difference. they can create distrust, doubt, and infighting among their enemies, and be hiding in plain sight. this is why the Mu of Pane is such a powerful god tier. despite their disruptive abilities, they can still be a positive asset to a team. simply being around a Mu of Pane will make you constitute. mind reading and control is near useless, as if the mu's skull was made of lead. perhaps an archetype for this god tier are tinfoil conspiracists! distrusting of authority and willing to convert anyone by any means.

PART 3: The Tide of Yon

the next two god tiers are tricky, as dave spends little time on them. my first thought when i hear "tide" is a bringer of something, like how the tide brings water to higher onto the beach. the definition of tide specifies the rising and falling of the sea levels. theres also a verb; to tide is to drift and fluctuate with something or someone. the tide would be "one who fluctuates aspect", or "one who drifts with aspect", which are pretty vague roles? im sure it will work out though. a Tide of Blood could be the one who brings a team together, but as their title suggests, it wont last long. an archaic definition for tide is "a space of time" which i found to be kinda funny, both because that would be a valid mythological title and how it segues into the yon aspect. yon literally means "that over there", which i interperet to be something upcoming. yon can be the speculation of the future, or the dread of an unstoppable force. yon would associate with the passage of time, movement across space, dread, sight, and patience. this makes yon closely connected to the cardinal aspects, not unlike life and doom. the Tide of Yon fluctuates and fluctuates with Yon. this means that the Tide's action are influence by the future, and the future is influenced by the Tide's actions, creating a loop. it could also be interpereted as the Tide fluctuating between different facets of Yon, such as the hope or dread that comes from it. perhaps the Tide creates conflicting predictions or even truths about what is on the horizon. im not able to pinpoint any specific abilities relating to this title, but i think thats reflective of the Tide's passive nature. their influence IS the power.

PART 4: The Fling of Rime

for this one, i'll start with the aspect rather than the class. theres much more i can draw from rime than i can with fling so. yeah. rime by definition is the frost that forms on things when water vapor or fog crystallizes. its like dew but frozen. to rime means to cover things in said frost. rime then could be the "ice aspect", in a similar way to how breath is the wind aspect or how life is the plant aspect. rime is all about lethargy, abandonment, and the weight of your actions, not unlike the weight of rime on the branches of winter trees. while these sound pretty bad, they're important themes in the context of sburb! a Sylph of Rime could be a teacher, while a Rogue of Rime can be a deadweight. in this sense, rime is a close relative of doom. the fling class on the other hand couldnt be more different. a fling is a short period of enjoyment or wild behavior, and to fling is to throw or hurl forcefully, typically without care. using this, the fling would be described as "one who discards aspect" or "one who is frivolous with aspect". the best way i can describe this would be someone who doesnt really understand their aspect, and therefore either wastes their potential or ends up being a liability to everyone around them. a fling could be an inversion of the mage class then; mages understand aspect, whereas flings misunderstand aspect. the Fling of Rime is "one who is frivolous with Rime", they dont know the weight of their own actions. this person may live in their own world, not paying attention to the events surrounding them. they may also have poor judgement, not knowing to look before they leap. there isnt much to salvage from this title, honestly. they could get cool ice powers? i guess? but theyre bound by fate for their fall to be by the Fling's own hands.

PART 5: The End of Post

hopefully ypu enjoyed this god tier analysis! ill definitely do more of these if i get requested to, cus its a lot of fun speculating. it did take me a while to write this all out, but thats cus i was basing this post off of three pages from an mspfa. like i said though, feel free to add anything youd like to this, whether you agree or disagree!

[shi-daisy]

Chapter 13 and 14 have me reeling omg ma'am! 😭 The fluff 💗 the twists😱 the smut 🥵 We been blessed! I love how Tamlin is finally getting his healing arc/found family/Lucien romance because the way you write our boy is so cuteeeee!!! The flashbacks were adorable, Lucien is so handsome and adorable and I need both of them to be happy and cherished forever. Goodbye SJM canon this is what's canon for me now!

Few questions tho, given that you've named all the other 'nameless' characters like the Vanserra family, Tamlin's family, and other secondary characters is there are a reason why you haven't named Rhysand's family? Like is it because you're looking for a fitting name or a story reason?

Also, given that the new Dusk Court is seemingly a mix of Greece and Japan do you have headcannons for the other courts? What would Spring, Autumn or Winter be?

Finally I can't wait to see more of the Njght Court rebellion. After the whole Dusk reveal I'm excited to see their reactions and maybe backstory, and them with the Valkyries because Gwyn and Lunara would be such a cute friendship. Also Grim is best boy I love this man he's had one scene and now I need a prequel we stan himbo dad warrior in this house! He's what Cassian should've been!

Speaking of, Nesta needs to come back and read everyone for filth! Book 2 might be all about her but she so fun to read here too, especially as Tam's sister (they'd be cute as a ship too but platonic siblings Nestlin is life)

Anyway so sorry for the long message, I love your fic and I'm cheering you on! 💗

Aaaaaaaaa!!!! Anon c'mere and let me hug you! You're so sweet! Thank you so much!!! 🥰🥰🥰 it's been a joy to write this fic and while I already loved Tamlin and Lucien both as individuals and as a ship before, thanks to the fic they've gone up to otp status in my heart. I'm so excited to keep bringing you my boys and their adventures be it sweet and fluffy or high stakes.

Okay so to answer your questions, the reason I haven't named Rhysand's family (or the other bat boys family) is less interesting that twist a or story and has more to do with spite. I am spiteful AF when it comes to the page hogging bats and I refuse to give them any once of development or thought other than antagosnist. So I have zero intention of naming any of those characters because I know SJM would grant them names before the Acheron parents or the Vanserras or any other more important character. So no, I'm just a petty spiteful slug in that case. Sorry to disappoint.

Glad to hear you cought the Greece/Japan mix invented for Dusk. Given that Night seems to be based on Greece along with Middle East at least from what little world building we were shown I thought it would be cool to have them have Greek influence due to Night's colonization but also retain the Japanese inspired culture and aesthetic that was theirs before their fall. I have some ideas for the other courts but these are just headcanons.

Spring- Scottland, France

Summer- Kingdom of Hawaii, Polynesian, Caribbean

Autumn- Spain, Ireland

Winter- Russia, Norway, Korea

Day- Madagascar, Kenya, Roman Empire

Dawn- India, China, Vietnam

Dusk- Japan, Greece, England (Gothic period)

Night- Greece, Middle East

You shall get more Night Court rebellion content soon, I love this group and trust me you haven't met them all yet, lots of peeps want Rhys gone. Gwyn and Lunara will be good pals don't you worry, priestess stick together and I really want more Gwyn she is a delight. Seriously considering a prequel with them at some point.

Funny you mention Grim, he's the favorite so far out of the Rebellion oc's and while I love this precious edgy himbo he is not of my creation @maplesamurai made him as an NPC for one of our D&D campaigns and I've been obsessed with him since then (that version of him and of D&D Lunara are also a couple, mates in every universe baby!) So thank him for the best boy and best himbo. Cassian's got nothing on the best dilf!

Nesta too will get more page time, I'm just keeping from adding too much before her own book, while her healing is mostly happening offscreen and she will be stable by the time of book 2 girlie will have stuff to deal with later that I need to put off for now, but do expect her to get a good moment along with the rest of the squad. Also yes platonic Nestlin for life! They'd be an awesome ship, but as siblings they're a winning combo. Eris look out Nesta now has an older brother to keep an eye on ya once you're official!

Don't ever worry about long questions anon, I live for comments and asks and any attention so I'm absolutely delighted that you sent me this and so grateful you love my silly fix it fic! Thanks so much and I hope I've answered your question! 💙

[iworshipsappho]

I don't know about your OC but I want to know so for the OC's pride asks, 21. Free ramble card wee

HEY ABHIIIII I LOVE YOU FOR DOING THIS HELL FUCKING YEAHHHH

ok so uhm ceres first i suppose. i talk about her a lot bc im quite honestly obsessed with her and have been for a while, as is my right. anyways so uhm i started like thinking about ceres when i started getting into dnd so shes very dnd based even tho i havent really played any ttrpg. they are an earth genasi that loves woodwrking and foxes. moss used to be an ex-royal but got cast out/left for reasons i am yet to know of. so he lives in solitude bc they dont really do people (she's aroace and genderfluid btw!!) so uhm like ive said, they love woodworking, stone carving like in pebbles and shit. AND OH THE NAME!!!!! I love talking about ceres's nameeee ehhehehehe so like greek mythology and space are 2 of my biggest interests ever right. so ceres is the roman name of demeter bc i always knew i wanted ceres to have smth to do with nature and ceres is also the closest dwarf planet to our sun!!!! its in the asterid belt between mars and jupiter!!!! heheh SO YEAH THATS THE ORIGIN OF THEIR NAME AND I LOVEEE ITTT

moving on to yazhini!!!! so yazhini is basically a borderline self insert into a rwrb au that ive created primarily in my head. i havent written out much but i love her so much already!!!! so she grew up in south india, chennai to be more specific. moved to new york for college met alex yada yada. shes a lesbian btw. WOOOO LESBIANS!!!! she has wavy-curly hair and being in a place away from home made her love the indian part of her way more than she did before!! they love the colour green and try to incorporate it into every outfit. so basically the idea of this au is uhm yazh and alex go to india to attend a wedding of yazhini's cousin. and they meet henry there bc he's accompanying shaan bc the groom is shaan's relative or whatever. no royals, no one is famous i just need my boys in TN and also i love yazhini and i think its really healthy that i make an oc to let myself love my culture ykn

so yeag!!!! :33

💜

[moonsfireflies1993]

A Holy Land

3 weeks ago I wrote an essay about the Palestinian and Israeli conflict for a personal blog I write stuff. It was not until now that I forgot to add a lil paragraph to the original post on that IG account and because it will move and erase some of the text on IG I can't fix it 🤡 Jokes on me lol.

So I decided to post it here just for the share.

It's been a ton of time since I wrote anything in this diary but I decided to come back this time with a strong feeling in my stomach after seeing the atrocities occurring both in Israel and Palestine. 

My interest in this conflict has grown immensely over the years. From dating someone from a Jewish school back when I was a teen to being friends with a Palestinian girl who taught me so much about her heritage, and her family's struggle with land. For a time I was really into learning Hebrew since is one of the most ancient languages to date and now the same with Arabic. I remember asking that boyfriend at the time when he had to visit Israel for his school trip if he could please bring me some handicrafts from there. He instead bought me an IDF shirt. 

The Israel and Palestinian conflict is way more complicated than pointing fingers at which one is the most evil and who is the saint while so many people die at the cost of it. It is way more than pointing out antisemitism. It's a historical and territorial issue that has nothing to do with religion. 

Let's go back to centuries ago, before Israel, before Palestine when they were just Jews, Philistines and Canaanites; when it was called Judea. This for some reason, was always a land with struggle of occupation. By the Babylonians, the Greeks with Alexander the Great, The Roman Empire, The Byzantine Empire, then the Crusades, the Ottoman Empire, The British monarchy, to now the country we know as Israel. 

It was never a no lands land. Now going to the main thing. Why after so many years there's still bloodshed for claiming that land as theirs? 

Both cultures lived there always.

With the centuries antisemitism was always a sort of problem for the Jews for this reason they used to have a nomadic life, but during the rise of nazism during the 30s many people started to go back to Israel seeking refuge and also since they considered that land as part of where they come from according to biblical texts. During this time is when there were nationalistic movements (Zionism) putting pressure on the Brits to give them that land as theirs; of course, this created more tensions between both cultures as "who has the right of the land".

We all know that massive immigration creates tension, it's not like the Jews weren't there, but they migrated in massive quantities. They all knew this was strategically a bad idea considering the geographical position Palestine is located in. Completely surrounded by arab countries with the threat of constant attacks and segregation of the people who already live there. 

And that's how the Nabka started, a term used to describe the events in 1948 that created the segregation of the Palestinian population. On the side of the Jewish Israelis, they refer to this date as the birth of the state of Israel creating an end to the diaspora. Then the ONU divided the territories into 2 states. Sound like an agreement huh? Well.. as you can expect no one was satisfied. Arabs kept fighting and the IDF started to take more land than the ones that were established.

Jews from the Palestinian side were expelled by the Arabs and the same happened with the Arabs who lived on the Jewish side.  

Another lil story is the mess that happened with the Swiss Canal. In 1956 Egipt nationalized the canal and blocked the straits of Tiran which was the main way to the Israeli port, of course, you can imagine what happened afterwards.. Yep, another fight but this time the IDF had the help of the Brits and the French. Then for once the ONU came and demanded the Israelis to back off and in return to create a non-militarized zone. 

Fast forward to 1967, the straits of Tiran had no ONU soldiers around and the straits were blocked again. All the Arabs were preparing their military and Israel made another attack close to Egypt escalating another fight. Israel won and took power over the Sinai Peninsula and the strip of Tiran. 

During the 70s there were more tensions and for the first time started negotiations on giving back the Sinai Peninsula to the Egyptians in exchange for recognizing Israel as a true state. Making Egypt the first country to be accepted. 

And what happened to Palestine? In the 80s in the north, Israel invaded the north of Libanon so they could stop the Palestinian guerillas in Israeli land. Then in 1987 the first intifada, A Palestinian revolt after an Israeli tank crashed into a Palestinian refugee camp killing 4 Palestinian civilians. After this event, Hamas was born. A military organization with religious inclinations. It continued with the second intifada during the early 2000s to 2005 that has radicalized the conflict 

 Now in the xx and xxi century Israel as a nation had help from many European nations and the US both in negotiations and economically for their armada. Did you know that from the American taxes the US finances most of the Israeli armada? yep fuck public healthcare and education let's finance another country .. 

Over the years Israel has tried to make the life of Palestinians a living hell so they could decrease their population on the Israeli land as fast as they can, examples: 

Movement restrictions 

Water control and contamination 

repression through illegal walls 

colonizing Palestinian territory with Israeli settlements 

destroying Palestinian cemeteries for Israeli spaces 

destroying Palestinian olive trees that are connected with the food resources of families.

And all of this is illegal. 

Personally, both sides have done so much damage that is absurd that only one would back down their aspirations. The best approach in my opinion is to restablish the territories as they were in 1948 when the ONU divided it. Israel should seize their control by invading the mosques with soldiers and leaving the Israeli settlements of Palestinian territory. And Palestine should eliminate its military associations with Hamas and Hezbollah so they can start international associations to establish themselves as a nation. This is the ideal approach that I doubt would happen with the ongoing chaos. 

Until people keep thinking that this is just antisemitism, that the Arabs and the Palestinian population are being violent for religious reasons without looking deep into the historical repercussions of the damage, justifying killing Israeli and Palestinian children in the name of a nation because on both sides people are dying, but ignoring the bloodshed that the Palestinians had lived for 80 years and giving the side eye to it is hypocrisy. Greed, power into a land that we look at as historical, sacred when is a grave. Holy or cursed, what is so important on a land that doesn't have any source of resources, one that doesn't even have gold or oil? I guess is more of what we see as tangible, it goes with the yearning of what was a land with your key that has lost its door.  

I leave this long post with the words of the Palestinian poet Mohammed al Kurd 

“Sing me a song of home

break a dish or two throw a stone or two

because the screams make me nostalgic:

I almost don't fear the sirens.”

― Mohammed El-Kurd, Rifqa

[stygianheart]

I was tagged by @mahapdi to share 5 WIPs and sheesh, I had no idea I had so many—anyway, these are the top 5 that are most developed and some even started. So here ya go, yo. (If you like any of these, feel free to say something or I dunno.)

1. One Last Time: it’s a JeanMarco fic (7 chapters) where Jean makes a terrible choice 20 years after the battle of Trost (aka Marco’s death) and is thrusted back in time to a few months before doomsday. He’s given one chance (and two rules) to have a restart. Already have the plan for this one, a prologue, and a Chapter 1. I hold JeanMarco very close to my heart. Highly debating whether I’ll post it to ao3 or not, because unlike my other fics, updates won’t be regular and would probably come every blue moon because writing about them makes me break down in tears.

2. Ship In A Bottle: this is an ASL (mostly Sabo and Luffy because, y’know, Ace is dead) short story (5 chapters) going over the two brothers and how the handle the loss and grief of Ace (both separately and together) as they plan a day to visit Ace’s grave together. (Yes the title is based off of the song by fin, I really recommend listening to it.)

3. You’re In The Stars: not a fanfic but just a full on Stygian/Kel’s original idea. It’s about this girl named Elizabeth Nelson (Liz) who gets an internship as NASA and falls in love with the human personification of a dying star named Danika. It’s planned to be a whopping 15 chapters and only 2 are written but the whole plot is planned out. (Based off of the song In The Stars by Benson Boone.)

4. Gods Of The Wild: also not a fanfic but kinda? I mean, it’s Greek/Roman and Celtic mythology. It follows the reincarnation of Paris of Troy and the Celtic God of the Wild, Cernunnos, and an ongoing war between the Celts and Greek/Romans. Only have 3 chapters written, but whole plot planned out. (I wanted to major in mythology studies for the longest time yet could never find a good college that had that as a major so…heh, creative writing it is.)

5. ILY: A Roronoa Zoro fanfic/short story (1 chapter) about Zoro breaking out of his comfort zone and telling the Straw-Hat pirates he loves them, one by one. Just fluff. Pure fluff (with some subtle angst added in there but c’mon, I can’t just NOT have some angst.) (also subtle ZoLu.)

Aight, imma tag some of my writer friends here, and no pressure, you legit don’t have to do this :) @xzcopycat @tragic-lauren-098 @aroacejay @mugiwat

[thepringlesofblood]

Casting My Opinions Into The Void: d20′s Neverafter ep 1+2

this is the first d20 campaign im going to be following live and i am excited enough to do a lil post each week or so about it. mostly bc recycling and adapting and retelling and retranslating old stories that “everyone knows” is my whole shit. like i got a degree in the study of ancient greek and roman civilization (classics). my whole thing is reading old myths and plays that “everyone knows” how they go and seeing what each author/translator brings to the table.

anyway i watched episodes 1 n 2 and i am excited and my observations are below

(like if you were really into the Sisters Grimm series as a kid and are similarly excited for this lol the modernized fairytale characters in that series are literally called “Everafters” and its because it’s really good shorthand for the audience. i see you brennan i see you)

normally ppl who do the whole ‘dark/horror/thriller fairytale’ thing fuck it up bc they think it’s about the shock value, or about seeing how nasty you can get with it, so I usually avoid them, but after bingewatching a kadrillion d20 campaigns, I trust brennan to do it right. you have to find the core value/crux of what is horrifying about the story and tease it out, and play with the symbolism and icons of the original story to reflect that. and brennan fuckin delivered.

ep 1

folks, give a hand to the people who put detailed yet non-spoilery content warnings in the description. tbh dropout shows are setting the standard for sensitivity and inclusion in media. it’s so lovely to see a show w content warnings or pronouns put up onscreen and it just not be addressed. i am forever spoiled for any other kind of media tbh

at some point in the past, brennan found out he could make a really good realistic choking/gagging noise, and he has used it in every campaign since.

i appreciate the ‘scare off the meek early’ approach of it all.

th. the briars. the concept. the dead princes - UGH good backstory yall

i very much like the idea of becoming a ranger out of necessity, and because plants obey you on account of that whole feeding-on-your-blood thing

puss in boots using ‘pib’ as a nickname instead. of ‘puss’ or ‘boots’ - inspired

also zac is using his ‘smart little shit’ voice like he did w lapin and i am v excited.

look ill say it - the little red hen did nothing wrong and thats on that. i read that one when i was very little, it was on electric company or sesame st or between the lions, and i’ve always liked it.

so......anyone see how mother goose’s husband has the last name hubbard? like old mother hubbard lol

also there really is a Jack in so many stories, i’m glad we’re addressing this. little shit gets up to so much trouble

it feels like I have seen so many tired rewritings of little red riding hood, even though I can’t think of any off the top of my head. it’s usually a sort of surface-deep ‘girl power!’ situation. i’ve never seen one like this. i LOVE it. it was terrifying. the fact that we all just sort of accept ‘barbarian’ as a normal dnd class is kind of wild tbh, i like exploring that rage and its source.

Ep 2

saying the actual nursery rhyme in the context of being the nursery rhyme is so powerful. i fully didn’t understand what was happening to nat king cole (v powerful) until he was gone.

also, herr drosselmeyer - fantastic get. you have to talk about the sugar plum fairy at some point and they already went in hard on her in acoc so i love that they were like you know what, it’s weird uncle time.

(context: herr drosselmeyer is clara’s eccentric uncle with a bunch of automatons and he gives her the nutcracker)

also every production ive seen has his drip immaculate. 

my gender is this man’s cloak

Murph is the fucking ball again

“Please tell me how you’re a monster too so I don’t feel so alone” - Jesus Christ Emily Axford

Almost getting distracted by a bird instead of picking up v obvious plot hooks: pt 2

cinderella.......dude

Brennan really looked at K’s finale scene from mismag and went “how DID the mice get lithium?”

The POV of the mice - simplifying it makes it sound ridiculous, but if you really dig into the idea of the mice as sentient beings it’s horrifying.

Dude the symbolism…stepmother eating her kids bc they were always either a tool or an obstacle to her, of course they would be a sacrifice to her hunger for power.

i’ve always liked endings that have the stepsisters reconciling w cinderella bc in the end they were also victims of abuse and it wasn’t the same or the same degree of abuse as cinderella but they were still constantly on thin ice

can you tell that i rewatched d20 live recently and sobbed at adaine and aelwyn’s ending?

Cinderella stabbing the fairy godmother with the broken heel of the shoe that symbolizes both the ending she was meant for and the life that she was forced into. Turning that into glass armor. dude.

The pumpkin carriage rotting bc the fairy godmother is trying to make the happily ever after stay exactly how it is forever but nature decays and time passes and she can’t acknowledge that without realizing both that her role is in the story is over and not only does cinderella not need her anymore, cinderella doesn’t want her anymore, and maybe never wanted her in the first place. 

When puss in boots was asked what he wanted in life and he just said ‘to be comfortable’ #relatable like I know all this is gonna end with him realizing the value of love and friendship over material goods and I 100% agree with that but i feel like this goal or some variation of it are v common today and not often addressed in stories like this

Pinocchio swearing - 10/10. Also how the fuck is Lou doing a Pinocchio voice that perfectly straddles the line between hilarious and annoying. It’s ridiculous enough to always be funny, but sustainable and varied enough that it doesn’t grate on you.

i think we’re getting into “all the princesses in all the stories are all sisters” territory and i for one am THRILLED

"mirror, mirror.......leaned up against the wall”

we learn in this adventuring party that the OG concept for lou’s pinocchio is that he snapped off his nose so he would be able to lie, which is AMAZING. i fully did not put that together.

i am v excited for this battle, and v terrified.