#49 never really felt like the real kdj to me either. 51 did though.

[melonnade]

Kim Dokja & You, The Reader: A 51% Kim Dokja Character Analysis

Disclaimer: this is mainly an analysis of my own personal feelings while reading the epilogue, although I’m sure this is also applicable for other ORV fans too.

51% KDJ is our narrator. It’s the part of KDJ that loves Ways of Survival, and KDJ first and foremost is a reader to us; that’s how he introduces himself, after all, in the very beginning of ORV. That’s the whole premise, even. One man manages to successfully navigate the apocalypse all because he’s read a book about it. 51 feels genuine and authentic to us in a way that the third-person narrator 49% KDJ, who has lost all interest in TWSA, doesn’t. 49, in comparison, feels like a pale facsimile. 49 can’t be the actual Kim Dokja, because the Kim Dokja we know is on the subway narrating the book to us.

And so as the reader, when 51 is stuck on the subway, it feels like the real KDJ has been left behind. 49 is just an avatar, after all. The actual KDJ isn’t there to experience life after the scenarios with his companions, and that’s why it’s so heartbreaking. Surely, after everything he’s gone through, doesn’t KDJ deserve to be happy?

Here’s the thing: even before falling into the coma, 49 being able to spend time with KimCom still doesn’t feel like a happy ending. There’s a falseness to it; it doesn’t sit right. During the picnic, Yoo Sangah has a conversation with Han Sooyoung; she asks HSY if she really thinks that the other companions haven’t noticed that something is off about Dokja. But then she continues:

“That person is also Dokja-ssi. Doesn’t matter how much percentage he is made out of, there’s no doubt that he is Dokja-ssi. Dokja-ssi who journeyed together with us.”

Yoo Sangah asked her. “Is there any meaning in deciphering which one is really him?”

(Chapter 521)

This raises the following question: who really is Kim Dokja? YSA makes a good point here; 49 has all the important memories that KDJ shared with them, and it’s impossible to truly know 100% of a person, so isn’t it enough that they still have the 49% that matters?

But as a reader, you’re left feeling unsatisfied like HSY because you know that the 49% avatar isn’t really him. Of course it isn’t enough. The 49% of him that’s there isn’t the same KDJ that we know; that one is stuck on the subway.

But that’s not quite right either. Because the KDJ on the subway, as genuine as he feels, is still only 51% of him. We as the readers are like YSA in that respect; we can’t truly know all of KDJ either. KDJ the first-person narrator is different from KDJ the companion, and as the reader, there’s this fundamental distance between our world and his that we’ll never be able to comprehend.

So you’re left looking at 51 thinking, “This is the one that matters! Come get him off the subway!” If you’re me, you might even be looking at YSA thinking, “How can you be happy like this?! This isn’t a happy ending!”

But in reality, you’ve fallen into the same trap. The only part of KDJ’s story you can really know is the parts that he tells you, and as an unreliable narrator, you know he’s leaving things out. Sure, you also know his backstory and his internal monologue. You might even think you can comprehend him the best as his reader, but really, there’s this line between character and companion that we can never fully understand. This line mirrors his own initial experiences with Yoo Joonghyuk; at the start, YJH is only ever a character to him until he learns to see him as a person.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that we don’t know 100% of Kim Dokja either. In the epilogue, Kim Dokja is split into two parts: 49, the part that his companions know, and 51, the part that we know. The part that’s been telling the story. ORV is so brilliant because it engages with us, the reader, as part of the story too. We further its thematic arcs through engaging with it; KDJ is to us as YJH is to KDJ, and that line between character and personhood is further exemplified through this. There’s a sort of hypocrisy there, in criticizing YSA, if, like me, you really only wanted 51 to be happy again.

HSY and YJH’s character arcs make me go wild because they recognize that nobody can ever truly know 100% of a person. They don’t care; they want all of him back anyway. This is all just to say ORV truly is the greatest found family love story ever written.