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#AGAIN. NOT A SHIP . DONT FUCKING TAG IT AS THAT OR ILL BLOW THIS ENTIRE BUILDING UP
elriell · 4 years
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Do you ship SQ now?
I am so sorry I have no clue when this was sent as my ask box is awful at notifying me but I think I checked about… idk a week ago? So hopefully you haven’t been waiting too long. 
There is a long and a short answer, short is yes. and i have been a multi shipper for a few years now (even tho i haven’t been on tumblr in ages prior) I even made a post about it WAY back when which you may have missed, So I will copy and paste it below (bare in mind this was written years ago when I first sort of began multi-shipping) but it still relates to this day for those who might be confused as I was a 100% CS shipper back in the day, they are still my OTP for the record! 
I just started enjoying other areas of the fandom too. If you dont care for the long answer no worries I’ll leave it under the (read more) bar and just ignore it, but if you do want to know a little about my experience and feeling with all the toxicity within the f OUAT fandom back then, then go ahead and give it whirl and come back and we can chat
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Hellooooo. *blows out breath* Where to begin…
I made a post months ago about fandom negativity and how over time it got to me, I’m going to copy parts of it over here and add some more, newer thoughts since that post…And hopefully if you have the patience to sit through it you’ll understand a little better by the end.
*
I am a Captain Swan shipper (along with many other ships), I have been a member of the CS family for years and have loved it, I have made so many lifelong friends that I talk to outside of tumblr daily, however, there is something I have been…struggling, for lack of a better word, with for a little while.
Negativity. Fandom negativity to be specific.
(I also want to preface this by saying I am not calling anyone out at all, people who are discussing and standing up for their characters and/or actors. People who are having debates, wording discussions in way I never could articulate so beautifully, are awesome. I enjoy these posts and reblog them often. This is not directed anyone in the slightest.)
But there has been a lot of negativity surrounding certain areas of the fandom, there is no reason to beat around the bush, I am talking about anti-sq/anti-regina stuff. I see it on my dash from a few shippers, I see it in the “OUAT Spoilers” tag and on twitter and everywhere. There is literally this dark energy everywhere. This hostile feeling, and maybe I am the only who feels it but I am just going to honest and straight up say, it got to me.
It crept up in a way I can’t even explain…
I am the biggest believer in ship and let ship, shipping is supposed to be fun! It shouldn’t matter what is canon and what’s not, it’s about enjoying characters that you think have potential. It’s about discussing it with your friends and making fanart, and just enjoying. And yet at some point during my time in the fandom something in me changed.
I let the bad apples get to me, I let the hateful people get to me and twist my views on an entire fandom. When I thought of the Swan Queen fandom all I saw was the bad, and became so bad that I’d see a gifset or anything in relation to them and feel physically ill. Like a pit in my stomach, like a uncomfortable twist every time they came up.
I realise this sounds melodramatic, I mean how can seeing a gifset actually cause such a strong reaction? Such strong negative emotions… I suppose it was the accumulation of so much anger and bitterness towards the bad apples  (and also seeing my dash constantly with negativity, it is like being in a bubble) that I forgot that they aren’t a entire fandom, that I became hyper sensitive to everything surrounding SQ. It was confusing, I absolutely love ships between women, if anything 8/10 i prefer them, being a bisexual women i’ve learned take/appreciate representation where we can get it or possibly get it. [sidenote: it f* sucks that there isn’t more out there and i could rant about that for daaays] but anyways in this one show something just didn’t click originally.
I get so upset when I see posts about how the CS fandom is the most hateful fandom because there are so many amazing people who have become my family and who literally are like literal sunshine and I think to myself “How can you (sq’rs) judge a entire fandom by a handful of bad?”
But then I know what you’re now thinking… Isn’t that what you’ve been doing, Morgan? Yes, yes it is.
I don’t want to argue about which fandom has done the most wrong, or which is more guilty of hate, I just want to move forward. I want to watch the show again and have fun doing so. I want to watch OUAT and not feel annoyed every time Regina is on screen with Emma (because there is no reason for it). I want to watch OUAT with a lighter heart, like I use too back in season 3.
“I don’t know how, but I’ve simply decided to let go of all my hostile emotions, lets call it my new years resolution. At the very least I am trying to and you know what, I think I am getting somewhere good, I felt a lot better lately, my mood is up. You might have noticed a slight increase of Regina on my blog, I saw a gif of Regina looking at Emma (from 4x12) and thought “oh, you know I can see what you mean about the way she looks at her sometimes…” (tbh she looks at a lot of folks that way), it’s simply Lana’s acting.  But my point is, that physical negative reaction is gone.
And I am so fucking happy about that.”
-A quote from my months old post
That feeling has only gotten better and stronger in the months ahead, I have followed a few multi shippers and begun to interact outside of my usual circles, and its going good. There are always days were anti’s irritate me but I think that is normal, overall I am happier.
I am so sorry if this feels fake to some of my friends on tumblr, who I have openly talked negatively about characters/ships with, I don’t take back my beliefs on  some of their actions or our discussions, I’ve simply chosen to try and move past it. And look at it from a wider lens…
I don’t know if I have properly articulated myself during this post but I really just wanted to get this out in the open because I love and adore the CS fandom but I also want to open up a little more, I know that although I few of my friends on here wont agree with my opinions on trying to be more regina/sq friendly I am sure you’ll support me because you always have, and thats what friendship is.
HOWEVER, back to the main purpose of this swan-queeen side-blog I understand and acknowledge that this is my change, and my choice. A lot of people don’t have to follow me in it and don’t want it on their dash, I have a little under 5k on my main and I know that they followed for a specific set of content. With that in mind I am putting this kind of content on a separate platform, if you want to join me I’d love that, if not I understand everyone has a right to their feelings/opinions.
Anyways I have so much more to say but I’ll stop here or you will be falling asleep, I am always here to chat and discuss things so feel free to hit up my ask/messenger/etc…
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