#ALL OF THE DNDADS CHARACTERS ARE!!! but in this context

[variksel]

the elevator button is so great honestly and its soo Extreeemely glenn and making me miss him . i can HEAR the conversation the dads couldve had about installing it, like im absolutely sure it was a long goddamn pitch meeting. they had weekly "dad huddles" where theyd bring up ideas they had had over the week about what they wanna add to the d.a.d.d.i.e.s HQ and im soo sure those went. about as well as youd expect LMAO

i can just picture glenn going "nonono guys see, have you never seen a movie where the good guys are running from a bad guy and-" and daryl just going "absolutely not" and henry being like "cmon daryl, this is a safe space and there are no bad ideas, you remember what we said about those footballer toys you put up on the walls? lets hear him out"

[babacontainsmultitudes]

"What is this about?"

*shrugs* Controversial characters. Complicated characters. Trends or a lack thereof.

[honeyspotpie]

A thing I think about A LOT is the fact that when I started getting into dndads and was listening to season one I often doomscrolled the tags and I kept seeing Oakworthy content and didn't fully understand their dynamic/relationship bc I wasn't familiar with the characters so I developed my own mischaracterized interpretation of them based off the absurd amount of out of context fanart and posts I encountered HELP and then was quite disappointed when I reached season two and the canon didn't completely match my version... Current day me has a lot of all over the place feelings on canon Oakworthy tbh but I lowkey still hardcore vibe with my old fanon view on them? Let me explain (and expand now that I have the full picture) as much as I remember:

I knew Hermie was Scam's son and I thought this fact was clear from the get-go in the sense that the audience always knew but our protagonists weren't in the know until they actually met Scam. So I though Hermie was always this trickster type character who wanted to pull goofs and pranks to impress his father but lacked natural "scamming" talent and SUCKED at doing them and constantly failed - what is a REALLY silly concept tbh imagined it being a running gag or something... I always pictured him as a cartoony over the top theater kid villian cooking up evil Doofenshmirtz level schemes and I still wish he was that :(

Normal was always aware (or at the very least had a sneaking suspicion) Hermie wanted to steal the mascot suit (probably cuz I had this spoiled early on and didn't realize it was a twist) and had kind of an active distain towards Hermie because he knew he was from Chaparral and knew there was a constant chance Hermie would get his grubby little hands on the outfit. So that's right ladies and gentlemen I THOUGHT THEY HAD A SORT OF RIVALS SITUATION I STRAIGHT UP THOUGHT THEY WERE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FOR SOME REASON HELP... Hermie always wanting to steal the suit to the point of obsession, dubbing it as "his greatest scheme yet" only to always be stopped by Normal in some dumb, probably accidental way until Hermie realizes that he in fact was not obsessed with the mascot suit BUT WITH THE PERSON WHO WEARS IT and subconsciously always wanting to steal it was just part of his Joker persona and their romance blossoms from there.... Like imagine how hard hitting all the "we gotta stop meeting like this" and "I knew you liked me" teasing banter would be if they were on the brink enemies

And after Hermie gets involved in all the saving the world stuff, Normal lowers his guard and develops a genuine relationship with him thinking he has changed and genuinely wants to help our heros until BOOM! BETRAYAL! Because "it was nothing personal"

I don't think I understood what happened afterwards BUT I THINK YOU GUYS GET THE VISION YOU UNDERSTAND IT! Like it's not a huge change but this would've been so FUN... if season 2 ever gets adapted into another piece of media like a graphic novel or a tv show (doubt it EVER will but hey I can dream so let me dream) where they have more control over the writing I would love to see them rewrite their dynamic to be something more akin to this...

[themissakat]

sitting on the outskirts of the dndads fandom whilst my gf @calamity-unlocked blogs about it all the time is wild. i feel like a dad chilling on the sidelines with the s1 cast of dads while cal is going off about all these other characters who i have no idea who they are. it’s all spoilers but i have no context so are they really spoilers? not really :3 

i crack open a (root)beer and nod to the Dads, “that’s my gf im so proud uwu” 

[risetherivermoon]

heres my (not composed at all) composed thoughts from today !!MAJOR dndads spoilers for ep47!!

first of all, hermie :(( THE INTRO??? JUST EUGH I WAS TRYING NOT TO CRY IN PUBLIC- the hand holding part? im just...god, anthony burch why would you do this to me

then theres linc helping norm carry the body, just accepting that thats what he needed then...god, and scary was so soft with normal this episode about everything the feelings were biggg, normal trying to do the spell with the coins- just ugh

(then theres the twins hotwiring a car together in perfect sync? i just love the two of them sm so i loved that detail, the fact anthony outright says that they move as one force too, just- god their twin codependency makes me ill)

them traveling to what im assuming (lot of context clues) is the remains of oakvale....the old man being barry?? im so happy will remembered that henrys an elf with his aging thing too, the fact he runs a refugee camp on old earth?? im in love with that, and just how they went with his character, it makes me so sad tho... mercedes :(( pls im in shambles

scam? scam likely caring about hermie?? im just- fuck man. scam apologizing repeatedly saying he cant do anything, admiting he was a terrible father? i just- him not realizing that something he created would grow into a person with a personality and people who care for him, then that being ripped away... normal punching scam? (deserved) and i just cant get over the way normal is carrying his body everywhere, and holding hermies hand-

HENRY AND DOOD?? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?? "for some reason you feel like home" GOD. henry asking if everyone wants tea and his hands trembling- lord.

will campos ripped my fucking heart out with that sob- i cant, it was so fucking raw.

the burial? them all gathering flowers?? the twins helping too??? im fucking ill im sick im done GODDD.

the words they all said? normal calling hermie his sweet prince? everything scary said??? normal saying that they should put the sun back because hermie never got to see the sunrise- IGFEIufh

HENRY SAYING HES FUCKING PROUD OF NORMAL IM GONNA JUMP OUT A WINDOW!! OH MY GOD NORMAL SO NEEDED THAT- im just im so ill about the oak family

HENRY MENTIONING THAT HIS FAVORITE TV SHOW WAS CANCELLED AND ITS FINALLY COME BACK?? GODDD

the fucking shades witch- i was cackling oh my god,

lark shaking henry's hand and sparrow hugging him?!!? HENRY BARELY HUGGING BACK??

lil hero and norm at a shooting range?? six year old norm shooting the ground omg, lark was so gentle with him someone kill me- im a firm lark-is-normal's-dad-believer honestly

NORMALS THE FUCKING CHOSEN ONE??? YALL??? i saw this coming but i was still so caught off guard

literally wtf was that fleshy thing, mr burch im in ur walls

the last "NORMAL WHAT DID YOU DO??" shambles im in shambles

god this episode was so much...im losing it, it was great, the oak family episodes are always so amazing i love it...rip hermie, i miss him so much already

[hrdwrkinqtpatoot]

Mkay so there is a new episode tomorrow and it will likely be the last of the summer (for students) so as my duty I will rank all of the episodes that came out the last few months with a small description as to why because I am a journalist

Spoilers under for episodes 35-38 of dndads S2

1. S2 Ep. 37 - Cut My Life Into Pizzas: Starts off with a great gag/emotional song parody (which is always a treat), has some super funny/emotionally devastating bits, and overall, it moves the story along intriguingly with fun character interactions.

2. S2 Ep. 35 - Apollo Four Teens: One of the funniest/most charismatic episodes of season 2, tied with Ei8ht and Barf Bum Movie Men. Hero might be one of my favorite NPCs yet, she adds so much context to both Normal and the twins’ actions while being dynamic enough to stand out as a three-dimensional side character. This episode felt like I was scheming along with them while experiencing the perils of marriage, which is such a delightful and amusing concept that I hope they keep using.

3. S2 Ep. 36 - When Terry Met Terry: A heart-wrenching death of a beloved character, but other than the genius set up I found this episode a little too crowded. It was hard to keep track of all the teens, kiddads, etc., all while this build-up festered. I feel as though the story would be further grounded in a static area rather than everyone running all over. Other than that, the devastating twist was so well written for being improvised.

4. S2 Ep. 38 - Main Character Syndrome: It's not that I didn't like this episode, I simply think it could've been condensed to fit more dialogue. Willy’s scheme with Cassandra was a great concept, especially to shake up the combat to explore more creative concepts. Altogether, I’m so pumped for the next episode to interact with the doodler finally.

[therestofmyfandoms]

unironically i think its a really good idea to subscribe to the dndads patreon. yes it helps the show and keeps it going and all that, but really what cemented me being glad i did so was talking dad/teen talk

when i first listened to dndads i tore through season 1 in like 2 weeks, it was amazing and i loved it, and then when i listened to season 2 i honestly resented it a bit

yeah it was funny and the characters were interesting but i really hated how characters acted and why they did certain things. when i caught up (the city one), i even stopped listening mid-episode because i really hated scary's character and how it felt like she was going out of her way to fuck everything up.

when i recently picked it back up, i decided to drop the money for the patreon, and listened to the teen talk for the latest episodes, as well as going back and relistening to the beginning. it really helped put everyone's characters into context and why they do what they do, and honestly helped ground me into the fact that they are characters, not people

scary's not necessarily my favorite character, but i certainly appreciate her in a way i didn't before, and i have so much respect for the cast for playing the way they do. anyway thats my pitch for the patreon goodbye

[dndadsfanweeks]

hi!! I literally just today found out about this. Is there any sign-up process (I looked around but you know tumblr, it loves to hide information) and/or any guidelines about what is and isn't allowed in fanworks (beyond obvious taboos)?

There's no sign-up process! Just post your context with the tag "DnDads Halloween Week 2023" on the correct day, and we will reblog it. We've been using the same tag on Ao3 as well, there's no collection you have to submit to. If a good amount of people think there should be a collection, I (mod Travis!) can make one, but for now, just use the tag.

As for guidelines, we're just sticking with pretty standard rules: No incest (we are classifying Glenn/Jodie under this), no underage sexual content, etc. Like you said, obvious taboos. Sexual content is fine as long as all characters are of adult age and are depicted as such on the podcast. We're not here to police anybody on what they can write, really. Go wild as long as it's within those guidelines, and please be sure to tag everything appropriately! Be mindful of content warnings and the ratings you're applying to your work :]

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

the dndads girlie her name is scary i think . i will not know any context but i am curious

How I feel about this character- I love her, the way beth plays her goth vibes and then the poser stuff in the newest episode and her being genuinely worried about terry for that time where he might have died, fav <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Don't really have much for this but maybe Erica, I've been more into that ship recently (writing smth for it too 👀)

My non-romantic OTP for this character- I live for Scary and Taylor interactions I think they could be besties <3

My unpopular opinion about this character- I don't really think I have one tbh

One thing I wish would happen with this character in canon- She gets to be more vulnerable w/ terry and their relationship evolves more

[dykeyote]

Sorry you're not feeling great and hope you feel better!! if you wouldn't mind i'd love to hear some of your ideas about dndads character from the out of context things you've seen :DD

whether its hcs or just general 'these are the vibes i see in them' !!

thank you (: im feeling a good deal better now, i appreciate it >:)) tysm (: (: (:

okay but yes . my thoughts are (if ur actually a dndads enjoyer reading this i have never listened to the podcast ive just heard vague info ...... i do not know anything pls do not shoot me for misrepresenting ur blorbo)

that i like scary scary is cool . as an aroace nonbinary lesbian i can sense an aroace nonbinary lesbian in her

i think she is also autistic from what ive gathered i think she would be the type to like . be super into some really heavy horror movies and she talks about that a lot bc it makes her seem spooky but ALSO shes got a special interest on like . sonic . and she wont ever talk about it because she thinks its embarrassing . whos the anime boy hes taylor swift?? hed be into sonic too him and scary can discuss together perhaps idk if they get along maybe they dont maybe they discuss w other people. hes aro too uv mentioned that before

but anyway back to scary i think she also uses lots of neopronouns and xenos but shes too embarrassed to tell anyone to use them on her

she dyes her hair diff colors and until she dyes it again ALL her fits are based around that one color . people draw her with purble hair so i think she wears EXCLUSIVELY purble outfits . plus black accents

for a brief excursion from scary hermie unworthy is a podcast liker but he wont tell anyone bc then they could see his influences as an actor and u cant let them know ur next move . someone points out that he quoted cecil kanagawa at one point and he is FILLED WITH FEAR.

back to scary for a last thought she likes bugs a lot but also finds them scary and doesnt know how to consolidate this . she would make little houses for worms in the mud but if the worm gets on her hand shes flailing her hand and screaming

anyway those are my thoughts . sticking exclusively w scary bc i have no fucking clue which person is in which age bracket and shit its all very confusing

[isdisorigionalenoughforyou]

Either I have more catholic guilt than any non-catholic should have, or Matt Arnold is a fucking genius who keeps finding new ways to bash me in the head with a steel chair (emotionally)

[faultlessfinish]

This is not a positivity post. I put it all under a cut so you can easily skip it and used the dndads negativity tag even though I’m not 100% sure whether this is the kind of thing that is supposed to be there.  If you aren’t interested in hearing me talk about content warnings and/or problems with them, please go enjoy some more cool art and discussions instead of reading this. It’s all under a cut - very skippable!

As payment for your time, here is a pic of Glenn being a good dad to Nick, who had a nightmare and was in the living room watching movies a bit too loud so that someone would wake up and keep him company. It worked and now he fell back asleep. Those Close boys, forever in my heart. 

[ID: A digital drawing of two people on a couch in a darkened living room. One is an Asian man with long dark hair, tattoos, a bracelet in Philadelphia pride flag colors, and a red shirt that says “Blessed Grandma.” He is looking affectionately at the other person. The other person is a kid with shorter dark hair with a red streak, a bracelet in trans pride colors, and a blue shirt that says “University of California Santa Barbara.” He is asleep and leaning on the first person. Both have black-painted fingernails. The light bouncing onto them suggests that they are in front of a TV. In the background is a potted plant, a family photo (a sloppy background redraw I did based on a very beautiful commission from Nat) and a bookshelf with books and a framed photo. /end ID] The very gently-phrased TLDR:  Enjoy their story all you want, they’re very funny and the characters are wild, but if you’re recommending the show to someone who might count on content warnings, maybe mention that the CWs on this show aren’t particularly reliable.

(Okay, first up? I understand that some people are really sick of hearing criticism of the show and/or the cast. I hope I’ve taken enough steps to keep this out of people’s faces if they don’t want to engage with this. I also hope that people will remember that I’m not, like, Monarch of La Resistance and signing off on every post by anyone critical of the show with my feathered ink quill before it goes out into the world. There are various people out there with various concerns and various ways of approaching how they communicate about it. We’re not in charge of each other, we don’t all agree with each other, and many of us don’t even know each other.)  I’ve been thinking about the recent content warning failure to tag Willy’s verbal abuse in episode 48. Now, we know that multiple people were affected by this, but I’m specifically thinking of one person and how their problem was handled. I’ll call them D (they/them), and in full disclosure, they’re a friend of a friend but I have not spoken to them personally.  Redacted screenshots and image descriptions of them are provided at the end of this post, but it’s so many words that I feel like I’ll lose people if I start with them. So here’s the summary version: 

- Episode 48 had content warnings that did not initially include verbal abuse. Multiple people, including D, were caught off guard by the verbal abuse and consequently experienced panic attacks.  - D reached out to request that the verbal abuse get tagged (as mentioned in their Reddit post) and didn’t get a response. I’m not sure from context whether this was a modmail, a DM to someone, an e-mail, or what. - D turned to the official dndads Patreon discord show-discussion channel after giving up on contact method 1 and mentioned it again, to which they got some sad reacts, including from a mod, but no other response. - 2.5 hours later, D mentioned it in the discord again and got "they’ve been added to the description after a couple of people had suggested them. seriously sorry about the delay in adding them” from a different mod. (Not the mod’s job or their fault, I should note.) - The episode description was updated the same day to include verbal abuse, but the website was not. Someone on the Patreon discord messaged Freddie directly on December 9th and pointed out that the CWs were still incomplete on the website. They did not receive a reply from him, but the website was eventually updated sometime on December 10th. - A week later, someone had a question on the official subreddit about the verbal abuse moment in episode 48 and how others reacted. D responded with their experience, including “[...] the verbal abuse tag was not there when the episode was first posted. I read the tags, because I know that I need to. That tag was NOT there. So I requested it. No one responded to me, so I turned to discord. By the time the discord members responded to me, the tag had been edited in. Suddenly, I'm the asshole in everyone's eyes because they see someone who didn't do their due diligence” and “I did not feel one single modicum of support from this community. I thought that since OP's question addressed the exact moment that made me cancel my sub that I would affirm for them that it was distressing for me too. I hope my contribution helped them feel seen and heard. I had hoped that if my contribution inspired a response, that I might feel seen or heard too. Maybe next time.” 

[ID: A digital drawing of a skeptical-looking woman with dark curly hair with red highlights, a red dress, red lipstick, and medium-dark skin. Even though she’s supposed to be Erin O’Neill, she’s not wearing a witch hat, for the simple reason that I hate drawing them. /end ID] And here come more words, because I have thoughts...

As people have probably picked up, I have PTSD, I work in the health field, I specialize in disability and mental health, and I care about content warnings. I also think dndads fans tend to be very funny, clever, talented, and kind, and I still hang out with a lot of them. That’s why I still hear about this stuff despite no longer listening to the show. I waited most of a month to see what would happen. Would there be an apology to D, besides from that mod? An acknowledgment that there had been a problem with the episode 48 content warnings? A statement about their plans to keep this from happening again? Nope. Nothing. 

Let me try to get out ahead of the arguments that seem to get brought up when things like this happen. 

A. Well, maybe they didn’t know it happened. 

You would have to convince me that all five members of the cast, plus their community manager, don’t read the show discussion on their official discord or their official subreddit closely enough to find any of the posts about this, and that whatever initial contact method D used was somehow defunct. Also defunct, to support this explanation? Freddie’s DMs. 

Somebody fixed the episode description and, later, somebody fixed the website. Pretty clear that somebody on the team got the message. 

B. It’s not their job to tag for everything. 

Of course it isn’t. For instance, I have a weird trauma response to seeing fish flopping around out of water (it’s a long story and fortunately thanks to medication and therapy, is much more manageable). It’s a very specific and unusual trigger, and I don’t expect shows to tag for it, I just kinda keep my head on a swivel. 

But Willy being verbally abusive is the first thing they ever decided to warn people about. They warned about Willy before they did any other warnings, way back in February. Willy’s ability to cause fear with his words is so built into this story that it’s literally one of Ron’s casting abilities. If there’s one thing that you would expect to be tagged, it’s Willy being verbally abusive. And then they added the tag later, so yeah, they know it should have been in there. They didn’t tag for a thing they usually tag for. This is just a fuck-up, plain and simple. 

C. People are always mad about stuff/maybe if somebody had asked more nicely/if they had asked differently. 

D never touched discourse or said anything negative to or about the cast or story. They were doing due diligence by reading the content warnings before enjoying the show, and they got badly harmed because they trusted the show’s content warnings. They sent multiple politely-worded messages on multiple platforms before they became frustrated and bitter about how the situation was handled. If you insist on a perfect plaintiff before considering critique of the show, I don’t know what more you would want here.  D. But they did fix it, eventually. 

1. The system for figuring out content warnings can’t be based on how Calvin’s dad says bridge load limits work. D didn’t volunteer for that, nor did any other abuse survivors. 

[ID: A Calvin and Hobbes comic by Bill Watterson, in black and white.  First panel: A car approaches a bridge. A sign says “Load Limit 10 Tons.” Inside the car, someone asks, “How do they know the load limit on bridges, Dad?” Second panel: The dad replies cheerfully, “They drive bigger and bigger trucks over the bridge until it breaks.” Third panel: The dad continues, smiling, “Then they weigh the last truck and rebuild the bridge.” Fourth panel: Calvin, in the backseat, says, “Oh. I should’ve guessed.” His mother, angry, says, “Dear, if you don’t know the answer, just tell him!  /end ID] 2. Fixing it without mentioning anywhere that it had needed to be fixed left people, including D, looking like (in their words) “the asshole.” D is not the only one who felt like they had to defend that they did check the content warnings and that verbal abuse had not initially been included. You know what’s fun, when you’re having a trauma response? Being put in a situation where it looks like it’s your fault, and doubting yourself because the thing that hurt you isn’t there anymore and there’s no evidence that it ever was.  E. This was a mistake, yes, but they will do better moving forward.  1. They didn’t apologize or do better moving forward after they tagged for child harm in one episode and then didn’t tag it in the following episode when a kid full-on (if temporarily) died, so I find this pretty optimistic.  2. It’s been most of a month since this specific incident and they haven’t acknowledged it, apologized, or mentioned a plan for doing better.  F. So I guess they just shouldn’t do content warnings at all, since they can’t do them to your finicky standards.  Nope, I think content warnings are a great idea, and are especially necessary for a show like dndads that wants to engage with heavy stuff like intergenerational trauma and child abuse. However, I think it’s pretty obvious that doing them poorly is even more harmful than not doing them at all. To be clear, if the solution to half-assing something important and being called out on it is to conclude that you shouldn’t do the important thing at all instead of doing it better, you do not actually think it is important. It’s like the peanut allergy thing. If you have a peanut allergy and you go to a bake sale full of homemade goods, you know that you have to ask questions and be cautious and maybe steer clear entirely, because this is just amateur bakers who may not know how to help you stay safe. But if you buy a candy bar from the store that says “This food may contain or have come in contact with soy, eggs, or dairy products,” then you would reasonably conclude that peanuts aren’t on that list because they’re not in the candy bar. If there were peanuts anyway, despite that label, and you had an allergic reaction, you would be justifiably unhappy.  G. Don’t just complain without offering solutions.  So here’s one where my solutions credentials are pretty solid, given that I did begin to coordinate a volunteer-based content warning system back in June of last year. Although I hadn’t intended the cast to be involved, Freddie messaged me about it as though it was already their thing, said he’d run it past “the team,” and never followed up in the remaining month during which I was open to providing free labor for the show in any capacity. That the original version we planned would have been volunteer-based does not mean any and every random person is qualified to come up with content warnings. This is a qualified area of expertise that people receive training in, and the content warnings at present are clearly not being done by a qualified or trained person. It’s not my job to write out in detail who they should look for, but perhaps the Storybreak boys could see about paying for the time of someone who does this for the MaxFun shows. H. Why are you so pressed about it, just move on, I’m concerned for your mental health.  Because people have been telling me for months that the cast is responsive to feedback, cares about mental health issues, cares about abuse survivors, takes trauma seriously, acknowledges when they make mistakes, and tries their best to do better.  Someone was seriously harmed by this mistake. They were informed of this by 3-5 official channels. They eventually fixed the thing that caused harm without apologizing or responding to the harmed person who reached out (or any of the other people affected, both those who discussed it publicly and those who didn’t). (The person affected did receive an apology from a mod, which is thoughtful, but when it’s from someone who didn’t commit the harm, an apology can only serve as a “I’m sorry this happened to you,” not a “I’m sorry I did this.”) There is no indication that any steps have been taken to keep this from happening again. What happened in this chain of events that looks like good people trying their best, holding themselves accountable, and taking trauma seriously? Because I think I missed it. I. So what do you even want from them, since they clearly can’t do anything right in your book?  First up, let me be clear - this post isn’t addressed to the cast or the community manager. I know how to get in touch with them, and I know that they ignore me when I do. I don’t want to hear from them now or ever. This is a post addressed to the listening community at large, and specifically the subsection that chose to engage after my warnings up front. I don’t have a problem with people enjoying the rollercoaster that is dndads, but I think people deserve to know that this particular rollercoaster is not compliant with the safety standards it claims to follow. That’s pretty much it. These are careless people telling a story carelessly and causing verifiable harm as a result. They fuck up, they get called out, they fix it silently (sometimes). Then they move on without apology or acknowledgment to the people who got hurt, and without a plan to avoid committing the same fuckup in the future.  Enjoy their story all you want, they’re very funny and the characters are wild, but just... if you’re recommending the show to someone who might count on content warnings, maybe mention that the CWs on this show aren’t particularly reliable and don’t seem to be a high priority. That’s my conclusion. 

Receipts, in Full

D brought the missing content warning up on the Patreon discord the same day the episode was posted:

1. Discord post 1. 

[ID: A discord post in dark mode with username redacted from 12/8/2020. It says “Moment (22:36) caused a massive panic attack for me and I’ve had to stop listening to the ep. Could we consider a trigger/content warning for verbal abuse? /end ID] 2. Discord post 2. D didn’t get a response (besides emoji reacts) in the patreon discord, and posted again later: [ID: A redacted Discord post in dark mode, in channel Show Discussion, from 12/8/2020. D/User 1: How do we go about requesting trigger/content warnings for episodes? Is there a procedure, a person to message? Jumped into today’s episode and got absolutely blindsided by trauma triggers. Very upset, very angry. User 2: There are content warnings in the description of the episode, at least on patreon not sure about other services like Spotify. I believe this one included verbal abuse. Mod: they’ve been added to the description after a couple of people had suggested them. seriously sorry about the delay in adding them. User 2: Ah didn’t realize it wasn’t included right away. D/User 1: Not sure if it was there the whole time. I see now that it says verbal abuse, but I swear when I opened the patreon page to listen a few hours ago, it only had “profanity, violence, sexual content.” Seriously messed me up, had a massive panic attack and I was alone at the time so I was completely unsupported and alone. I’m quite livid, going to take a break from listening to the show for a while. [/end ID]

3. The episode description was edited to include verbal abuse among the CWs on the same day as release. The website was not updated: Someone on the patreon discord messaged Freddie directly on December 9th and pointed out that the CWs were still incomplete on the website. They did not receive a reply from him, but the website was eventually updated sometime on December 10th.

[ID: A screenshot of the dndads website showing Episode 48: Carry On My Wayward Son. The summary reads: The trial draws to a close as the jury reaches a verdict and Glenn learns his fate. This episode contains profanity, violence, and sexual content. /end ID] 4. Reddit posts. D later posted on the official dndads subreddit. Someone had asked “When I first heard Anthony as Willie yell “Shut Up” I was legitimately shocked and a bit frightened for a moment. Hearing yelling of any kind on a such a usually upbeat podcast was very surprising. How did you respond? Did you not notice, or did it have an affect?” D’s response:

[ID: A Reddit thread. D/First poster: As someone who was violently abused as a child, it was a massive trauma trigger. Hours later I was still shaking. The CW/TW Tag for verbal abuse was not there initially, so it completely blindsided me. I actually have not finished listening to this episode because that first "SHUT UP!" triggered a polyvagal shutdown state. My heart goes out to the childhood trauma survivors who shared in this experience. Second poster: As someone who was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, I empathize completely. I had to fully take a break from the episode before I could continue listening a day later because it was so triggering. Unfortubately, Anthony is really good at acting. I had a similar experience listening to Ep. 29 "Big Willy Style" again, because of how scarily accurate some of his lines were. I hope you are doing okay and took time to practice some self care 💕 its so hard when triggers completely blindside you. Third poster: I dont know how true this is for you, because despite my father being a weird mixture of the three granddads, it didn't negatively hit me as much but, do you appreciate Anthony's depiction? I personally found it somewhat comforting, in a weird way, that despite a lot of us experiencing that as children, we're now all joining together to remind ourselves how terrible that was, and humanise, yet take down these Father figures and make fun of them, sharing and lightening our trauma for each other. The fact that Anthony doesn't mess around with Willy makes me appreciate his characterisation, because I really fuckin hate Willy. D/First poster: I think the objective fact that his performance triggered a Dorsal Vagal Shutdown state speaks volumes to his talent. His performance caused my nervous system to overload and perceive myself to be in a genuinely life-threatening situation. So yes, by definition, Anthony's performance was appreciated. However, nothing in the definition of appreciate says that appreciation is a good thing: (ap·pre·ci·ate/əˈprēSHēˌāt/ verb 1.recognize the full worth of. "she feels that he does not appreciate her" 2. understand (a situation) fully; recognize the full implications of. "they failed to appreciate the pressure he was under") I can also appreciate that for many other listeners, the format of the show provides a sense of community and togetherness. By taking such painful memories and dismantling their power through comedy and community, people are finding a sense of healing. I do not want to discount the value that this has for listeners. However, OP asked specifically: How did you respond? Did you not notice, or did it have an affect? The comment that you have responded to was my comment sharing my own personal experience with this episode. Now, tell me: if you discovered a fellow fan trembling and crying after a piece of media had triggered their PTSD, would the first thing you say to them be, "but you appreciate the art though, right? Like, you appreciate the artist and how talented they are?" The other piece is that the verbal abuse tag was not there when the episode was first posted. I read the tags, because I know that I need to. That tag was NOT there. So I requested it. No one responded to me, so I turned to discord. By the time the discord members responded to me, the tag had been edited in. Suddenly, I'm the asshole in everyone's eyes because they see someone who didn't do their due diligence. So to answer your question: yes, I can acknowledge and appreciate that Anthony Burch has performed the role of 'vicious abuser' to such a degree of realism that years of trauma came rushing to the forefront of my consciousness. With two words, he activated my amygdala and disconnected my prefrontal cortex, reducing me to a terrified animal. Very compelling performance indeed. You are technically correct. But I did not feel one single modicum of support from this community. I thought that since OP's question addressed the exact moment that made me cancel my sub that I would affirm for them that it was distressing for me too. I hope my contribution helped them feel seen and heard. I had hoped that if my contribution inspired a response, that I might feel seen or heard too. Maybe next time. [/end ID]

[foundthe8wing]

I know exactly what I mean when I say “the dndads team is endangering minors in their spaces,” but I think from the outside, seeing that sentiment repeated, it’s easy to interpret it as rhetoric or as something like “if you’ve ever mentioned the existence of sex you’re a danger to children” when that isn’t the argument here at all. So I want to do my best to lay out why we call it dangerous.

CW: discussion of grooming (a bit more specifically than in previous posts of mine)

For context, these are the rules for the dndads patron server, at least as of October 4:

[ID: a discord message from Freddie:

In order to keep this a safe and welcoming community, we have some rules and guidelines everyone must follow.

If you need help or if anyone makes you uncomfortable (in chat or in DMs), the mods are here for you! You can ping them in the chat by using @/moderator, message the group using @/ModMail, or if you’d prefer to discuss a matter privately 1-on-1, you can also PM the community manager @/Ash or moderators directly.

Listen to the mods! They enforce the rules. Infractions are handled on a case-by-case basis. Breaking the rules will result in you being muted for a duration determined by severity and infraction history. 

We’ve enabled nicknamed editing on the server, so please feel free to append your preferred pronouns at the end of your username.

Always remember these basic guidelines:

This is an 18+ space. Per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!

Stay on topic! If you find yourself drifting off topic, move to another channel. When in doubt, go to #shoot-the-breeze or #shoot-the-breeze-2 /End ID]

You’ll note the policy against NSFW content, but damn, I don’t know what kind of world they live in where linking kink tests and writing erotica are SFW activities. Definitely wouldn’t fly at my job, I’ll tell you that. Anyway.

I’m not saying that everyone who’s ever discussed sex in the presence of a minor is a predator, or that these discussions are always, definitely a slippery slope to kids getting groomed. But I’m saying that when the cast says things like “Grant has never jerked off in that house” and “there’s so much sexual tension between Bella and Dr. Cullen” and “Glenn definitely looks through Nick’s porn history,” among other things; and when they then allow people to regularly discuss sex acts and share kink test results and erotica in their server (yes, even if it’s meant as a joke), they’re making it much easier for predators to approach minors, and much harder for those minors to then be able to tell when lines are being crossed. 

You know the saying about how you can boil a frog and it won’t hop out of the pot as long as you heat it up slowly? The server is getting uncomfortably warm, and it makes it that much easier for someone to turn it up a few degrees in private. It contributes to things like, for example, 9th grade me not pushing back when a then-20-year old made comments on all the “sexual tension” between me and one of my classmates (in response to me telling a story from when we were eleven). 

I believe that if a 14-year-old in a position like the one I was in said “hey, this person keeps asking invasive sexual questions and I’m uncomfortable,” the mods would do something (though whether it’d be handled well is still questionable), but I don’t feel confident that that hypothetical kid has a good reason to believe that’s the case. If I was in a similar situation, I can’t cite anything that would make me feel like I’d be supported and have my concerns addressed, or that would validate my discomfort with the situation, and I can actually point to a lot of things that send the opposite message. 

Because if that kid takes a look around the server and sees that plenty of adults here are bringing up sexual topics in this all-ages space anyway, that no one in charge is objecting to users sexually discussing 13-year-old characters, that Anthony considers “why, did the podcast make you nut” a perfectly acceptable thing to say unprompted . . . it doesn’t give a great impression that whoever they approach will take them seriously if they ask for help. It doesn’t give them a good basis for trusting their instinct that something is off with the way they’re being spoken to. That piece is vital, and it’s where the cast, community manager, and moderators have failed over and over and over. 

Simply saying “if anyone makes you uncomfortable (in chat or in DMs), the mods are here for you!” isn’t sufficient when it’s not coupled with a direct statement that adults approaching minors about sexual topics isn’t okay. It’s not cool for adults to be having explicit conversations with or around minors. There is no good reason for an adult to be asking or speculating about a minor’s sexual behaviors, or discussing their own sex life with minors, or sharing/discussing explicit media with them. Make that clear. It’s not the kid’s job to automatically know this; it’s your job to tell them. 

(Which isn’t to say that an action has to definitively cross that line in order for someone to express discomfort-- “these things aren’t okay, and if you’re unsure, you can reach out anyway” would be a good approach in my book, but the second part on its own isn’t enough.)

Right now, if a teen in the dndads server is being groomed, all of the responsibility is placed on this teen to:

Identify the fact that they’re uncomfortable (and then choose to examine that discomfort rather than immediately downplay it)

Articulate why this is bothering them

Convince themself (and, potentially, whoever they approach about it) that it’s a big enough deal to bring up at all

Speaking as someone who’s been there: it can be really fucking hard to do. But it’d be a hell of a lot easier if the cast said anything to the effect of “hey, adults shouldn’t be initiating this kind of conversation with you,” or if they made any effort to rein in the “spicier” conversations in the server. 

Adults detailing their kinks in the presence of kids isn’t cool, even if none of those kids say they’re uncomfortable. I need an indication that a single person managing the dndads patron server understands that and is taking it into account. 

Nobody wants to be the killjoy who says “hey, I’m not comfortable.” Especially not in an environment where there’s a pattern of such concerns getting dismissed and belittled. Double especially when the behavior is coming from some of the most influential members of the community. It’s not fair--and not safe--to foist all of that pressure onto an uncomfortable kid, and it’s absolutely crucial that the people with power get ahead of it and take on the responsibility of calling out and shutting down unacceptable behavior.

In order to be effective, “reach out if you’re uncomfortable” needs to also be coupled with an apology for the way they’ve been conducting themselves. Because if they don’t apologize for things like the examples I listed above, for the ways their content and actions have contributed to harmful ideas about consent and about sexualizing kids, for allowing the server to exist in this state for so long, then they’re implicitly saying either that those things were okay, or that they’re above those standards. Not a great look no matter how you slice it.

TL;DR: allowing this level of sexual discussion around minors, especially in the absence of any type of messaging or warning regarding grooming, makes it easy for those minors to get preyed on. And saying “we’re here for you if you’re uncomfortable” doesn’t on its own count as actually making the server a safe or comfortable environment. 

[dykeyote]

Dndads is about a bunch of parents and a bunch of children who all really need to start biting and killing methinks. It's also so funny watching people seriously say things like that about a character named Taylor swift, or literally any of the other names.....

THIS IS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! i think if literally all the teens started biting people everything would be better . also yeah taylor swift is fun to talk about out of context lmao </3 the bit where a group of characters all go by famous ppls names is problematic bc now every time i hear a reference to real life actress jodie foster out of context i have to double-take

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, I think some people think that when we say “the dndads patreon discord is not a safe space for minors” you think we’re saying “minors might see people discussing the R-rated stuff that happens in the show” and since the show’s already tagged Explicit, what’s the big deal? We’re saying that stuff like what’s below the cut happens: where adult patrons are sexualizing minor characters in front of minor patrons who are begging them to stop, and the mods and cast members participating in the discussion say nothing.  If you don’t have the stomach and/or need the CWs, the short recap is: - adults make sexual comments about Yeet - a minor reminds them that Yeet is 13 - they continue to do it - the minor reminds them several more times - some users make sexual comments about Yeet and Grant together - the minor reminds them that Yeet and Grant are both thirteen - a mod makes a comment about Darryl teaching Grant BDSM - some incidental comments about Darryl and Carol’s sex life are also thrown in there along the way - Freddie comes in at the end to say that he liked his escape room joke.  I’ve covered the usernames but have marked the differences between users that are adults as far as I know, users that are minors as far as I know, and mods. In all there were four mods active in these screenshots.  You can say “we don’t allow NSFW stuff” and “come to us if somebody makes you uncomfortable” but I feel like it couldn’t have been much more clear that the minor user was incredibly uncomfortable. It was never okay in the first place for people to be talking about Grant and Yeet that way; it should not have been on a fifteen-year-old to ask dozens of adults to please stop talking about underage sex.  Four different mods and Freddie were posting at the same time and not asking anyone to stop making sexual comments about Yeet and/or Grant. That sends a pretty clear signal to everyone reading. I can’t imagine, for instance, that the minor in that discussion would feel like Freddie or those mods would be much help if someone was making them uncomfortable on a different occasion.  [This is, by the way, why “no NSFW stuff” is a bullshit rule for a server like this. It’s obviously not followed even by the mods, and there is a world of difference between making comments about Darryl and Carol’s sex life vs. making comments like that about Yeet and Grant, but they all get lumped together under NSFW?] I don’t really know what to say about this. I wasn’t even looking for this, I was looking something else up, but it’s so textbook as an example of what’s wrong with that server. I hope this one example can provide some context about why those of us who are troubled about the Patreon discord are troubled. It’s far from an isolated incident. That’s the atmosphere that had people messaging Anthony to say please don’t release your kink test episode without taking meaningful steps to keep the minors safe. This kind of thing is why there were concerns. 

This is a live episode reaction, so they are listening together to the end of the episode where Darryl talks to Yeet. Some of the conversation is a little hard to follow as a result, since they’re reacting to something not shown in the chat, but I think you can follow the relevant parts.  This was in June, so in context the “beat Yeet” phrase was first brought up as a football cheer. 

[ID: Discord screenshots of the following discussion, with most names blanked out: User: beat yeet sounds like beat meat  Minor: PLEASE  User: no it's not???  Mod1: aw, grant  User: YOU DIRTY PERVES  User: beat yeet's meat  Minor: HE'S THIRTEEN  Mod1: Darryl, what?  User: when  User: Darryl  Mod2: Darryl teaching grant about BDSM User: Darryl what the fuck  User: Darryl and Carol hit all the bases  Minor: HE IS THIRTEEN  User: Grant’s meat beats yeet  User: Can we both win no okay  Minor: FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THEY ARE BOTH THIRTEEN  User: Darryl and Carol into group stuff  User: Yeets an idea, a concept... a hero  Mod3: you play wiffle ball and you just hit the ding dang ball  User: god  Mod4: what the fuck is a yoga competition  Freddie: I’M proud of Glenn’s escape room joke. [/end ID]