#AND ELENA MAY OR MAY NOT FUCK IT UP

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

So, I've heard some voices here and there lamenting how little Gabe content - especially new Gabe content - there was and you know what? I completely agree, so I thought why not, I can try to add my little droplet into this tiny sea of Gabe appreciation we have here on tumblr.

Summary: Elena visits Gabe in his house for the first time and learns something new about his past.

Word count: 1937

AN: just some friendly fluff really, headcanon heavy, from Elena's POV but Gabe centric

"Oh, watch out, the first step is-" Gabe turned around just in time to catch Elena when she started to fall backwards. "-loose."

"Thanks for the warning." Elena shot him a glare when she regained her balance. In response Gabe only sent her an unapologetic grin and pulled her up on the next step.

"Everyone's so used to it by now that we keep forgetting to fix it with my dad," he explained as they finally reached the first floor.

The stairs led to a narrow corridor, with the same room placement as the bakery beneath it. Two doors on the right, one on the left and a wide opening to the living room at the end. In a few brisk steps Gabe opened the door on the left and invited Elena in with a courteous gesture.

"Welcome to my humble abode, your highness."

Her highness graced him with a nod and slipped by him, into the small room. Elena gave it a quick one over. It was indeed small - in fact, there probably wasn't much more space than what each guard got at the barracks - and the decor wasn't much fancier either. Cream colored walls, a thin bed by the window, a wardrobe opposite of it, one wall taken up by a bookshelf and a small cabinet by another made up basically all the furnishing of the room.

"Humble is a good word." She nodded solemnly, earning herself an eye roll from her friend. They both chuckled.

"Hey, it's your room that's out of the norm, you know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Elena retorted, thinking about how three or even four such rooms would fit into hers. She walked over to the cabinet and picked up some trinket. "But it's nice to finally see where you grew up."

Gabe couldn't stop a fond smile sneaking onto his lips when he noticed the badge she was examining.

"Yeah and I didn't really get to change much here in the past five years. For example this thing I got back when-"

"Gabriel!" He was interrupted by his mother's voice from the bakery.

"I'll tell you in a moment," he sighed. "Make yourself at home!" He added from the doors and quickly ran downstairs to his parents.

Elena took another look around the room. It wasn't entirely empty, she had to admit that, and the poster of Antonio Agama on the inner side of the door confirmed that Gabe didn't change the decor much since he moved out.

She moved to the bookshelf and moved her hand across the titles - though there weren't that many of them to count. The lower shelves were taken up by some boxes and bags and what could've been a neatly packaged tent. Then finally a whole shelf dedicated to the whole collection of Antonio Agama's books. Elena chuckled to herself when she read some of the more dramatic titles and noticed even one that wasn't in Avaloran. On the next shelf, between other various travel books and biographies, was only one book by señor Agama, titled simply 'The Gecko's Tale'. Driven by a hunch she took it out and couldn't help but laugh when she read the blurb on the back. Although that explained how the whole kingdom found out that she's a bit adventurous too.

Finally her gaze got to the plant on top of the mantle. Hidden so deep in the room, it extended its ivy like stalks towards the sun, climbing a string helpfully hung between the bookshelf and the window.

Down on the windowsill two other plants looked out on the little cobbled square behind the house. Elena leaned in to smell the orchid and noticed something half hidden behind the pot. Slowly, so as not to accidentally damage the plant, she reached for trinket and retrieved it into the light. It turned out to be a wooden doll, painted to resemble a familiar navy and maroon uniform...

"Is this you?" She turned to Gabe as soon as he entered the room and showed him the figurine with a wide smile.

Gabe stopped for a moment. Furrowed his brows as he tried to see what Elena was even holding, and then furrowed his brows even more when he recognised it.

"Of course not," he grumbled, closing the small distance between them. "It's just an old thing anyway."

"It does look a bit like you though." She jumped away from him at the last moment.

Gabe gasped. Elen giggled and moved her hand away when he tried to reach her.

"Why would I even have a figurine of myself?"

For a moment they circled each other, like two lions judging if it's worthy to fight the opponent for a steak, except the steak was now wooden and 15 centimetres high. They both hunched subconsciously and made their steps in the fencing manner.

"I don't know, why does Esteban have a whole wall of his own portraits?" A sly grin slid on her face. "But I see you've decided to match his collection."

"Oh now you've done it." Gabe shook his head to hide his smile and in the split of a second was right by her. Feigning to go right for the prize, he swiped her legs out from under her.

Elena waved her hands in the air giving Gabe just the opportunity he was waiting for. He swiftly yanked the figurine from her hands, giving her the last push to fall backwards completely. He turned his head with a victorious grin, just in time to see her legs rising at the height of his knees. And suddenly the ground was much closer than before.

He folded his arms to his chest, protecting the figurine with his body and rolled on the floor. Though he didn't have to roll far, of which he was promptly reminded by his head crushing into the cupboard.

He groaned loudly and let his body fall limply to the floor.

His pained complaint was answered by Elena's laughter from the bed.

"I'm getting too old for this," he mumbled and Elena's laughter only got louder.

Finally he sat up and lifted the figurine to his face. He carefully examined it for any cracks or splinters, checked if the joints in the limbs didn't fall out and most importantly if the head was still on firm. Finally when he made sure the trinket didn't get damaged, he let out a relieved sigh.

"You're lucky it's still whole," he grumbled, rising to his feet.

"Hey, I was being careful." Elena now sat up too and sent him a playful smirk. "All the way until you decided to trip me like that."

Gabe rolled his eyes again and huffed in pretended annoyance.

"So if it's not a limited edition General Nuñez action figure," Elena continued. "What is it?"

Gabe sat down next to her and thought of an answer for a moment. He changed the position of the little soldier's arms and reached for a pin to put into his hand as a sword.

"It's really just an old toy," he said finally. "But you know, it has sentimental value."

He finally passed Elena the figurine, so she could take a look at it herself. It wasn't as old as she thought at first. The paint was faded, but still held onto the uneven surface of the wood and as she moved her fingers across it, she realized that it must've been all whittled by hand, by someone who put great care in it, but wasn't a professional.

Still the amount of details was impressive, especially in the construction of the thing. She moved the tiny soldier into the proper fencing position and to her delight found out that it fits flawlessly, the wire on the joints creaked quietly, as if it had been waiting for an opportunity to shine for ages.

She glanced between the figurine and Gabe on her left for comparison. The uniform, despite the familiar colours, was a tad different, it resembles more what she remembered from her childhood, than the uniform Gabe was wearing at the moment.

"I got it from my first fencing teacher," he continued.

"The same one who threw coconuts at you driving training?" Elena raised a brow, earning herself a chuckle.

"Yeah, the same one." A sad smile reached the corners of his eyes as old memories resurfaced in his memory. "He was a tough man and always talked about how big an annoyance I am, but -" he gestured to the figurine and shrugged.

"Well, that explains why it looks like you," Elena bumped him with her shoulder. "I'm sure he could've already seen that you'll be a great guard."

"Oh, I don't think he even wanted me to be a guard," Gabe laughed again. "But you know, the situation was a bit different." He pondered something for a moment before continuing. "And to be fair, I didn't even realize that it was supposed to be a guard at the time, I was pretty sure he just came up with the design by himself. I only really connected the dots a few years ago, when I found this old thing again."

Elena nodded silently and put a comforting hand on his arm. She could see that this topic wasn't easy for him.

"Though maybe what you said was the point." He straightened suddenly and his gaze went back to the figurine. "Maybe he wasn't completely against me joining the guard, just... joining the right one."

His smile became wider and it was like his whole face lit up. Elena raised the little soldier's arms to make it cheer. They both laughed at how expressive this piece of wood was.

"So where is your coach now?" Elena asked, caressing the wooden toy one more time.

He only sighed at first and for a moment his gaze became clouded again, before he shook his head to cast the memories away.

"I wish I knew," he sent her a sad smile. "One day he just... disappeared. A few trinkets and one letter is all the proof I have that he wasn't just my hallucination."

Elena's lips twitched in a matching sad smile, but before she could say anything, they both heard a voice from downstairs, calling the unmistakable word 'dinner!'

Gabe clapped his hands on his knees and sprung up to his feet.

"Ah, just in time", he extended his hand to Elena. "I think eating is a much more fun topic than discussing the weird things I did in my childhood."

Elena examined his face for a moment more, but gave up on asking all the questions that pushed to the tip of her tongue. She sent him a smile instead and accepted his hand.

"Oh, you mean you did more weird things?" She made the little figurine gasp.

"I feel like I shouldn't have started this topic," Gabe laughed.

"Oh no, you won't escape now." She poked him in the chest and put the little soldier in his hand. "I gotta know all the crazy stories."

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you something," Gabe raised his hands in defeat. "But you can't mention it to my parents, please, they'll never stop until they tell you my whole life story."

Elena made a theatrical gesture of tapping her lips in thought as she backed out of the room.

"I'll consider it," she sent him a wide grin and in a second turned and ran towards the stairs.

"Hey- wait!" Gabe called out, running right after her to save what was left of his reputation.

[maimaimelle]

okay ykw. credit to my boyfriend for making these absolute atrocities to mankind.

[randombush3]

THE SECOND PART

(to get back to the main post)

carry on reading!!!

[...]

Bali is hot. Or at least, by your English standards, it is. 

The children enjoy the villa at the Ritz, less so the yoga you partake in when your best friends find out that it can mend broken hearts, and there are big TVs in the living rooms that the World Cup matches are broadcasted on. 

Your fingers remain bare, but no one knows about the ring in your suitcase anyway, so no one questions the absence of jewellery that used to adorn your hands. Or, at least, no one whose opinion you actually care about. 

Nico and Elena are happy to play and play and play, barely granting you their attention when you disrupt their endless hours in the pool or exploring the beautiful grounds of the hotel with the 24-hour childcare service. You had been reluctant to accept the help, but Gio was fine with her own daughter being stolen away, and they both called you ‘uptight and preoccupied, a sad, faded picture of how fun you used to be’ until you gave in. 

You let Alexia wonder about how her children are, attributing her lack of phone calls to her focus on chasing World Cup glory, blissfully ignorant to the fact that your friends have been micro-managing your interactions ever since they agreed they aren’t sure about letting you forgive the blonde just yet. That is not to say she doesn’t ever speak to them – Nico was gifted an iPad for Easter (a shoddy, shoddy excuse of an occasion to be given it, but you barely batted an eye as he tore open the packaging and thanked Auntie Anya profusely). He sort of understands how to FaceTime Alexia. They often happen when he is with what Alexia calls ‘the can’t-mother-too-busy-doing-drugs nanny’. 

You are lounging on the sunbeds, sweat pooling on your navel, music playing softly through the speaker Elena had begged you to bring. Though Moana pales in comparison to the days you’d attend concerts that weren’t your own, you are quite content to relax and zone out the lively songs and stare up at the brilliant, blue sky. 

Today is a bit different. You are two weeks into your holiday, with one remaining, and, today is the day you are finally going to open Alexia’s gift. 

You worked out what it was the moment she had given it, but, since you know that curiosity kills the cat, you have stopped yourself from opening it, not sure if you will cope with seeing a ring. What would this ring even be? A ‘sorry I fucked my best friend’? 

Elena hasn’t been included in the children’s entertainment plans for the morning; they have gone for a visit to a coral reef, accompanied by their babysitter and Anya (who you are beginning to think is enjoying their activities more than they are). Despite being relatively advanced for her age, some things fall short, such as her attention span. It doesn’t help that the sleeping issues Alexia had noticed are leaking into her time spent with you, too. 

“Mama,” comes a small whine, followed by a sniffle. Elena has been trying her best to copy you, lying underneath a towel for shade. You had hoped she’d finally fallen asleep, seeing as that didn’t happen last night. With her evidently still awake, you sit up, reaching out to run your hand through her damp hair, not quite dry from when she had enough energy to splash around in the pool. 

“Mama, tired.” 

“I’m not surprised. That’s what happens if you don’t sleep.” 

“Mama.” The petulance is a little glimpse into her teenage years, but then she begins to cry and your imagination falters at the sound. 

Elena, as far as toddlers go, is not the most emotional. She is generally well-behaved, if a little unresponsive at times, but she is quiet and introverted and happy to follow the leader, whoever that may be. She is a complete contrast to her brother, who basks in the attention he demands from those around him, loud about what he loves and hates, yearning to make friends with everything he sees. Elena, Elisabet Segura has told you, is just like Alexia, when she was that age. Controlled, reserved. (And your parents were quick to draw the similarities between you and your son.) 

Just like her mother, Elena is drawn to you. Just like his mother, Nico is drawn to Alexia. Opposites attract. 

It’s hard to ignore if you notice it. 

So, when Elena begins to cry, you are alarmed to see, in her eyes, the same fear that clouds hazel irises you know far too well. The tears glide down her cheeks in inherited patterns, and you try not to panic at how much she looks like Alexia – even if they do not share the same DNA. 

Part of you, the same part that suffered from postpartum depression and dulled your motherly instincts, wants nothing more than to run away from the crying toddler, horrified at the sight as you spiral and begin to imagine Alexia in her place, just as distraught as your daughter seems to be. And it’s weird and unsettling and you are so confused because Elena hasn’t cried like this since you told Alexia to leave. She continues, and even that night starts to seem minor in comparison to her meltdown right now. 

Elena does not sob, she does not scream, she does not shout and go bright red in the face earnestly. A developmental tantrum, sure, but never, ever like this. 

You have never seen this before, and you are at a loss for how to respond. Naturally, you draw her into your arms, holding her close and rocking her gently as she continues to wail. 

“Oh, my darling,” you stagger out, trying to forget your desire to join her, to break down with her. “Mama’s here, Lela. It’s okay.” The words feel inadequate and do nothing to soothe her, though your hands stroke her back as if to rub the comfort in, to absorb her anguish and bleed it out. You would do it, if you could. You’d take all of her pain away in an instant. 

In your mind, a whirlwind of thoughts swells up and disgorges bubbling, burning ideas into the pit of your stomach, none of them quite fitting as an explanation for her distress. Is she hurt? Is she missing Alexia? Or is it something deeper, something you’d overlooked? 

You can be selfish, you know that. Perhaps you have been too focused on getting over the destruction of your family that you have forgotten said family in the process?

Perhaps this has happened before! You were touring for a while.

As you hold her, helplessness washes over you, as though the pool you are right next to has grown thrice the size and is trying to drown you both. You wish Alexia were here all of a sudden. Alexia, gifted at soothing crying children and being a mother and managing a career and parenthood in a way that you have never quite managed. 

Alexia, who gave into your request for children and ended up besting you at it. 

Alexia, whom you still love and miss and hope, sometimes, will wake up beside you even if you know that it is wrong and pathetic and… God, do you really lack such self-respect that you’d take her back? Are you this useless that the crying child in your arms should be passed off to someone else because you can’t cope and you never will and you still smoke because you’re stressed and the last time you took drugs was far too recent to be called a good mother and Elena cries and cries and cries and…

You take a deep breath. 

“It’s okay,” you repeat, hating that you are lying to her. It’s not okay! None of it is okay. “Mama’s here, Lela, Mama’s here. You’re safe.” 

Your voice trembles, and she hears the weakness of your tone, unconvinced and uncomforted, failed by the woman who is supposed to guide her through all of her storms as steady as the sun’s movement each passing hour. Elena’s cries continue unabated, her small frame wracked with sobs as she clings to you, squeezing your skin tightly in a way that tells you that you are not enough. 

You, alone, are not enough for her. 

You can’t do this. 

With your arms holding her securely in place, you dip down slightly, grasping your phone from the tote bag it’s shaded in. It has been warmed by the sun anyway, but the heat of the screen as you press it to your ear is nothing in comparison to the burning in your chest, the fire her cries have ignited in a way that destroys everything in you. 

She continues to scream into your body as the dial tone buzzes and beeps three times, picked up on the fourth as if she has been counting the rings.

“Dime,” Alexia’s gruff voice huffs out, unimpressed that you have called her after refusing for the past month, seemingly always busy. Anya and Gio had given her excuses; you were busy talking to Leah, you were in a meeting, you didn’t want to speak to her. “Now is not a good time.” 

You only manage to breath out her name before she understands that something is seriously wrong. 

“Alexia, it’s Elena… she’s… she’s crying, she hasn’t stopped. Alexia, I-I don’t know what to do,” you admit, voice breaking. You know she will be able to hear the sobs coming from the toddler, her voice mighty and fierce despite how small she seems. “She hasn’t slept at all, and it just… happened. I can’t calm her down.” 

“Is she hurt?” 

“No, no,” you stutter, words tumbling out in a rush, “I don’t think so.” 

“What do you mean ‘hasn’t slept’? Not even a nap?” 

You shake your head, panicked. At Alexia’s lack of response, you remember that she is not here with you. You swallow your own sobs. “She’s been sharing a room with Nico and everything’s been fine, except, last night, she wouldn’t sleep. It was like she was terrified of it. She begged me to let her sleep with me, so I brought her into my bed and, I don’t know, it didn’t help. I tried to tire her out, read to her, sang to her, told her off, comforted her, but she wouldn’t and so I drifted off and she didn’t and we were relaxing today – it’s just us, today – and she started crying half an hour ago and hasn’t stopped.” 

As if on cue, Elena’s sobs grow louder, piercing through the phone line in a way that makes both you and Alexia feel sick. But Alexia has heard these before, and has kept them from you for a very good reason.

“She’s exhausted,” Alexia decides calmly. “She’ll cry herself to sleep.” 

“She doesn’t want to sleep!” you snap, frustrated. 

“She’s scared you are going to leave her. She usually… she usually cries for you, when she’s with me. I guess not seeing me has flipped it.” 

“Usually?” 

You pale. 

“Usually, Alexia?” 

You hear a sigh. “Do you want me to talk to her?” she asks, ignoring your horrified question. “Rub her back and keep touching her, so that she knows you’re there. I’ll… I’ll see if I can get her to calm down a bit so that you can – you need a breather, don’t you?” 

“My daughter is crying as though the world is about to end.” 

“Well, for her, it feels like it is. Put me on speaker.” 

You obey her instruction, reclining on the lounger so that Elena is now curled on top of you, wetting your chest with her tears. You place the phone near her head, both hands trying desperately to remind her that she is not alone. 

“Lela, petita, no estàs sola. Estoy aquí, y Mama también. Mai et deixarem.” 

Elena sniffles, surprised by the sound of Alexia’s voice. 

“That’s it, darling,” you encourage as the sobs are quickly replaced by resigned whimpering. Alexia continues to talk, hardly understandable as you let yourself succumb to your own emotions, your tears running down the sides of your face, hands still drawing circles on your daughter’s back. “That’s it,” you whisper. 

Alexia hangs up when she hears both of you breathing deeply, slowly, softly; fast asleep. 

…

She wipes the sweat from her brow, more exhausted from this than the gym session she had stepped out of. 

“What was that about?” Codi asks her curiously, taken in the blush in her captain’s cheeks, the slight dent in her lips from where she has bitten them. “Rather inappropriate to pick up a booty call when we’re this close,” she pinches her fingers together, “to the semis, no?” 

“Elena won’t sleep with her either,” Alexia says, if not because she needs to tell someone then because she relishes in the embarrassment that clouds Laia’s face as she hurries to take her comment back. 

“I thought you’d overcome it,” Laia replies sadly. “She was sleeping the whole night in her own bed, wasn’t she? That was only two months ago.” 

“She can’t deal with it, Codi.” Her sigh is a little more heartbroken than what is fitting for such a communal area, but Alexia does not care that her hunched shoulders have caught Irene’s attention, the defender well-acquainted with the signs of family issues. “She can’t deal with the back-and-forth. She is only three.”

“It has been a year,” comforts her friend. “Maybe she needs more time to adjust.” 

“Laia, you did not hear her. She cried like she was going to die, and I felt like I was going to die with her. You know how Y/n is with… You remember what it was like when Nico was a baby, when he wouldn’t stop crying. We were lucky that Elena didn’t have that, or that the doctors were more vigilant or whatever, but… I was keeping this from her for a reason.” 

Alexia doesn’t want to guilt you back to her. There is the slightest possibility that, if you were to know just how much Elena has been struggling while away from you, you would suffer through your heartbreak and pretend everything was fine, just to make her happy. Just to make their lives easier. 

But Alexia knows. Alexia knows you wake up every day and relive it again and again. She sees the repulsion in your eyes when you look at her – she saw it through the wine and the pleasure. 

She knows you smoke, she knows the rumours about the parties you go to are mostly true. She knows that the album is about her, and that the success didn’t taste sweet because it exploited your heartbreak. 

She knows that you don’t feel anything towards Leah Williamson, that you’re only trying to get her attention or fill her place. 

Alexia knows all of this, because you are a part of her. She knows how you feel like she knows where her right hand is, and, the worst part about that, is that she knows it is all entirely her fault. 

“Irene, where is Mateo?! Alexia needs her little person hugs!” shouts Laia, sympathy hidden by her teasing tone, which Alexia is very grateful for. “Get the nen, and get him now!” 

…

The unopened ring box travels with you to Australia. 

Spain’s failure to lose has led them to the World Cup Final, and while you are going to support your own country, Elena and Nico are dressed in ALEXIA jerseys, yellow and red stripes painted onto their chubby cheeks. 

You had found out, after the Elena incident, that your friends had been lying to Alexia for your peace of mind, or so they claimed. 

You don’t know how to tell Alexia that you called Leah before you left for Bali and told her that you couldn’t be with her. Or that Gio and Anya had been meddling, going as far as to calculatedly gift Nico an iPad in preparation for a summer of trying to save you from a broken heart. 

So… you send her a heads-up that you’ll be attending the final, wish her luck (but not too much, for the sake of the Lionesses), and ensure the children are down for naps so that they have energy to party late into the night regardless of the outcome. 

As a desperate, short-term solution while separate from Alexia, you had your manager seek out the best paediatrician in Bali and get a reasonable prescription for melatonin, just so that Elena can sleep. You plan to let Alexia focus on her tournament and bring up the issue when preseason starts, aware that drugging the child to sleep is definitely not the best option. 

With another hour of sleep in their systems, you have time to re-pack your suitcases, ready to leave the next day. 

And you are reminded of your unopened gift. 

Alexia had said to open it when you were home, but you reason that home is with your children, and home, due to your career, is often also in the hotel suites in foreign countries. 

You root through the piles of neatly-folded clothes, searching for the box you had buried at the bottom. Its velvet edges are soft under the wrapping paper and the box is sitting in the palm of your hand, naked now, before you realise what you are doing. 

The lid flicks open, and you prepare yourself to see something shiny, some insanely expensive diamond that certainly won’t fix all that she has done. 

But you brace for nothing, for inside the box lies only a slip of paper. 

A boarding pass from London Stansted to Barcelona-El Prat Airport, decorated in aged, black ink.

Scrawled on top of the flight details is something much more valuable than the entrance into First Class the paper allows. 

Eleven digits. 

Your old phone number. 

You remember this. 

It was the night you first kissed Alexia, or, rather, she kissed you. You’d been at some FC Barcelona event, and you’d gone outside because you had realised it might not have been acceptable for Alexia to hit on you in front of all those people, no matter how much she had wanted to. 

You’d smoked to get her attention, to get her to tell you off. To start a conversation. And you had loved her from the minute she kissed you, so tentative, so unsure. 

The boarding pass is sentimental, and you are amazed at the condition it is in, or even the fact that she still has it. 

You drop the box, plucking the paper from the slit it had been situated in, unfolding it, examining it with tears in your eyes. 

You turn it over in your palm, re-acquainting yourself with your memories from that evening. 

And you notice fresh, blue ink written on the back of the boarding pass. 

It’s Alexia’s handwriting, this time, though neater than usual, having clearly taken care to form her letters correctly. 

Can we start again? it says.

There is a drawing of three stick women, short dresses, high ponytails, too. One is circled, an arrow leaping out of the wobbly shape. That one is labelled with your name, and, underneath, ‘esta es mi favorita y me casaré con ella algún día’. 

Marta once told you, at the expense of her club captain, that that had been Alexia’s only comment about you back when they were all obsessed with your break-out girl group and could never talk about anything else. 

Twenty-nine-year-old Alexia Putellas knows that her mistakes have lost her many battles, but twenty-nine-year-old Alexia Putellas also knows that her love will win her the war. Because there you are, and nothing is worth fighting for more than you. 

(to get back to the main post)

[so-long-soldier-writes]

He’s Like A Puppy

kai parker x reader

summary: an argument starts up when damon and bonnie return to the boarding house to find you and kai spending time together. it goes south when you start to defend kai against your friends' remarks.

≪ originally publishes on ao3: 2/24/23 ≫

tags: discussion of murder, cupcakes, small biblical references, fluff

word count: 967

“Don’t you see that he’s dangerous? You’re insane to think otherwise,” Bonnie scolds you, pointing at Kai in the corner.

Kai, who, at this very moment, is sitting on a stool with a cupcake, a bit of the frosting on his nose.

“Very dangerous,” you comment, holding back a chuckle. 

She rolls her eyes, “you didn’t see him in the prison world. You don’t know what he’s done.”

“Killed some people? Doesn’t everyone do that around here?”

“So you think it’s okay?”

“I mean, no, it’s not okay, but if we’re gonna declare Kai evil because he killed a couple folks, then everyone else here is, too. I mean, hell. Stefan’s been a ripper, Damon’s… Damon, Elena’s famous for turning off her humanity, Caroline’s temperamental.”

“Y/N, he massacred his family, there’s a difference.”

“Is there? Killing your family, or killing strangers who had lives and families that you know nothing about? And for all we know, maybe it was a Menedez’ brothers situation.”

“Okay, yes, I see your point about the strangers. But are you implying it’s okay to kill your family if they hurt you a teensy bit?”

“May I just say it was more than a teensy bit?” Kai interrupts.

“Shut up-”

“You shut up, Damon, I’m trying to hear all sides of this story.”

“Y/N, you’re talking crazy right now! He’s a liar. A manipulative, sociopathic liar. Besides, his name’s Malachai, for heaven’s sake! He said it himself, ‘it’s like his parents expected him to be evil’.”

You chuckle.

“What’s so funny about that?” Damon’s eyes narrow. 

“You do know that ‘Malachai’ literally means ‘angel’, right? In fact, it’s a Biblical name. Malachai was a prophet of… y’know that actually doesn’t matter. Regardless, you can’t tell that someone’s evil based on their name. Unless that name is literally, like, Lilith. Or Lucifer.”

“Whatever. You can’t trust someone based on their name, either,” she counters.

“Didn’t say I trust him off his name. Just said we should treat him as we do everyone else in this massive fucking house that’s killed a bunch of people. And how do we treat them? Oh yeah - with understanding, and reason.”

“He stabbed me in the gut, Y/N.”

“So has Damon.”

“Yeah, but I have the right to kill her because we’re friends.”

“Do you even hear yourself when you speak, or is it white noise in your head while a little mouse plays scrabble with sentences?”

“Uncalled for.”

“Was it?”

They’re left at a standstill. No one is sure what to say next. 

“Okay,” you carefully start, “whether or not you trust Kai, he’s here. And, for reasons I don’t know but I also don’t care, he’s been staying here, at the boarding house. Now, since I’m your out-of-town friend, I am also staying here, at the boarding house. So what’s wrong with us hanging out since we’re quite often, literally the only two people here?”

They, again, see the point in your statement, but continue to bicker about it anyway.

“He could hurt you.”

“Could, yeah. But we were chilling for two hours before you guys came back. Nothing happened.”

“Except he’s eating the cupcakes that Elena specifically made for the party tonight.”

“Maybe you shoulda labeled them ‘no touching’ or something.”

“Are you defending him over this now?”

“Well now I’m just pointing out the obvious.”

“I just… Elena’s going to be pissed when she finds her cupcakes gone.”

“Only one’s gone, she’ll barely notice.”

“I’ll tell her he stole it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, what’s she gonna do? Make him throw it back up?”

“One, gross. Two… maybe I’ll just let her finally kill him. That would solve a lot of our problems.”

You can’t help but smirk, “and we’ve come full circle. House of killers.”

Damon’s eyes widen as he realizes, “wait. No, wait. But it’s, ack, you suck. Fine. She won’t kill him. Just get him out of the kitchen.”

You shrug and make your way over to Kai, who’s now licking icing off his fingers. “Wanna go watch a movie?”

“Sure.” The answer is hesitant, but his excitement is given away with a sparkle in his eyes. 

“What? This was the original problem, Damon! They can’t be alone together! What if he snaps again?”

“Bonnie,” you take a deep breath, “he’s not going to hurt me.”

“How do you know that?”

“Look at him - he’s like a puppy. Just needs a friend and he’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. We’re gonna go get out of your hair, get out of your cupcakes, and watch a movie.” You state, taking his hand. 

“Call if you need anything,” Bonnie just rolls her eyes.

“Might need a grocery store run, but I won’t need help.”

“Whatever.”

◇◇◇◇

Halfway up the stairs, Kai looks behind him to face you, “why’d you call me a puppy?”

“Because you are one. Y’know, I mean what I said. I trust you, and you’re safe with me. You just need some company, Kai. It couldn’t have been easy being isolated for eighteen years.”

“So… you’re gonna be my company?”

“Is that okay?”

He smiles, his dimples showing on the sides of his face, “mhm.”

“Good. But two things… one, if you’re ever feeling angry or uneasy, come to me first, okay? I don’t want them to hurt you, so give me a chance to help you through it.”

“Okay.”

“And two, let’s not eat any more of Elena’s cupcakes. I know, pissing her off is fun sometimes, and they’re really good cupcakes. But we can make our own so Damon doesn’t kill us.”

“Fine, I won’t eat hers.”

“Sounds good. Thank you, Kai.”

“Thank you, actually. Um, for defending me earlier, and being a friend.”

“Of course. Now, let’s go watch a movie. I have Oreos in my room.”

[fandoms--fluff]

you can make headcanons about dating klaus mikaelson

Dating Klaus Mikaelson Headcannons

He'd protect you from any threat coming his way and pit you above anyone else

Having to talk him out of daggering his siblings way too many times

He whines if you don't give him cuddles in bed

Waking up with his arms wrapped around you in the morning

Would buy you things you'd want and leave them out on your guys' bed for you to find them during the day

^and maybe sometimes pieces that would just end up on the ground later anyways😏

Making him watch Disney movies and he secretly loves them, but doesn't want to ruin his 'image'

You becoming friends with Rebekah and going on long shopping trips together that sometimes make the others wonder if you both got kidnapped with how long your gone

And speaking of, if anyone even thought of taking you to use as a hostage, their heart would be in front of them in no time thanks to your overprotective, hybrid boyfriend

A bunch of people wondering why you'd ever want to be with him

^to which you give them a whole ass lecture with the 'don't judge a book by it's cover' but instead it's Klaus. Or you can be as scary as Klaus sometimes if you wanted to, and that shuts up people real fast

Kol seeing how close to you he could get without Klaus throwing him out of the room (literally)

But he doesn't listen anyways so...

Kol would lay his head on your lap and sometimes fall asleep (which is a miracle by itself that the youngest brother can actually sleep in peace).

^you'd have to explain to Klaus multiple times that Kol hasn't tried anything other than harmlessly napping on you

Secretly though, you can tell that whenever Klaus sees his younger sibling like that, he has a small smile and thinks it's cute

Hearing his multiple detailed rants of why he had to kill someone(s)

The first time the mystic falls group met you, they thought you were being held hostage and were in danger. But they couldn't be more wrong when you started to explain your love for Klaus and how long you've been together, and by the end scaring them shitless

Having to tell off Damon for getting too close and when he didn't listen before you could do anything, Klaus had threatened and beaten him but good

Klaus having to hear yours and Kol's multiple theories on how Elijah and Elena are secretly dating or are at least fuck buddies

^that just creates a bunch of sighs from the hybrid but he leaves you both to your thoughts, not having enough energy to fight with the both of you. And he may have the same thought cross his mind, but some things are better left unsaid

The first time you played with his hair when you cuddled, he was all 'this is stupid' but at the same time 'don't stop'

Moving to New Orleans with him and his family

Being the only one he listens to and hears out

He always tells you how much he loves you and how much you've changed his life every night.

[zoejanee09]

Here With Me F.O

as long as im with you i got a smile on myy face.

super short!

finnick x reader!

Summary:You and finnick just had a baby a few weeks ago and it grew you two even closer then before.

you slowly start waking up to hear the baby crying. "shit." you say softly under your breath as you get up to take care of the baby. you rocking her a bit as you breastfeed trying to calm her down and get her back to sleep. you feel a pair of hands on your waist and you know immediately who it is. "did she wake you up baby?" you look up at him as your rocking her. "No ive been awake." he says kissing your head. you both walk over to the couch as you lay your head on his chest. "we still havent thought of a name you know." you say looking down at her. "i like elena may." he says looking down on her smiling. "Elena May Odair." you say smiling up at him. "i think thats gorgeous." he says kissing elena's forehead. after a while elena finally fell asleep so you put her in her crib and kiss her forehead.

"What do you wanna do baby?" you ask looking up at him "you wanna go in the ocean?" he asks pulling you a close to him "ill race you." you say smirking. "oh your on." he says as he starts running to open the door to go to the beach. "shit!" you say running trying to get past him. You eventually pass him and you both go running into the ocean laughing your asses off. "You know i'm fast." you say laughing loudly. "i guess i forgot." he says splashing you in the face. "You wanna play that game?" you say smirking as you splash him with water. You two go back and forth splashing each other until he picks up. "finny put me downn!" laughs softly. he puts you down but pulls you close to him. "i love you so fucking much." he says softly but able to hear to over the waves. "i love u too finny." you say kissing him deeply as you wrap your arms around his neck.

A/N: sorry this is super short been struggling to think of anything!

[rottenpumpkin13]

What if Tseng and Angeal switched problems for a day. Like you leave Tseng with Sephiroth, Genesis, and Zack and Angeal with Reno, Rude, and Cissnei

14:43 Hours on the SOLDIER floor

[Director Lazard walks past Sephiroth's office and sees a curious scene, so he decides to go inside]

Lazard: Tseng! I must applaud you. I've never seen these two so quiet and hard at work.

[The two in question refers to Sephiroth and Genesis, who are both trembling in fear. Sephiroth was made to tie his hair up. Genesis was forced to move his desk into the office and place it directly in front of Sephiroth's. Tseng is sitting on a tall chair between the two desks watching them like a hawk]

Tseng: Ah, it's not a hard task. I just implemented the use of my own method.

Lazard: Oh, and what's that?

[Tseng pulls out a giant electrical rod]

Tseng: Any time they deviate from their SOLDIER duties, I sick them with this.

[Genesis kicks Sephiroth under the desk. Sephiroth returns the favor and the two start a kicking fight]

[Tseng flares up the rod. It crackles and buzzes with sparks. Sephiroth and Genesis gasp, then immediately put their heads down and return to work]

Lazard: And how did you get Genesis to stop quoting LOVELESS?

Tseng: I made him eat his book.

Meanwhile on the Turk Floor

[Angeal plays therapist and consoles Rufus on the couch in his office. He offers Rufus homemade cookies and tissues while he sobs]

Rufus: And I feel that I try so hard, and yet he never appreciates what I do! It's as if I don't even have a father, I have a higher-up that I can never please! *continues to cry*

Angeal, rubbing his back: I understand, I understand.

Rufus: Sometimes I think that the only way for me to finally find peace is if he were dead!

Angeal: I understand. Your feelings are valid.

Rufus: I've even crafted multiple plans to assassinate him!

Angeal: I understan—WAIT, WHAT!?

[At that moment, Reno and Rude fly past the office door. Reno is holding a flamethrower and positioned on shopping cart as if it were a pirate ship. Rude is pushing him while Reno shouts "HEAVE, HEAVE, HEAVE"]

[Then Cissnei and Elena walk by casually carrying a crate that reads EXPLOSIVES]

Cissnei: Let's wrap it like a present and place it in the labs!

Elena: I love it when Tseng's not here!

Angeal: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Somewhere Else (A dog cage in Angeal's office on the SOLDIER floor that may or may not have been placed there by Tseng)

[Zack and Darkstar are playing with a deck of cards]

Zack: You got any two's?

Darkstar: Woof!

Zack: Dang it! How are you so good at this?

[sephirthoughts]

New Tseng Headcanons!!

Tseng being a smug villain about blowing up the Sector 7 support pillar and dooming thousands to death, but also holding on to Aerith's letters for Zack because he can't bear to throw them away, which would be tantamount to admitting Zack is really gone. He's complicated.

Tseng can see the Whispers but is gaslighting Rufus about it to amuse himself

this is because Tseng is all ice-cold badass on the surface (like it's a matter of legend that he may have ever smiled once) but he's an absolute menace and he's secretly clowning everyone

it was him who stuck gum on the bottom of all of Reno's shoes

it was him who replaced Elena's bullets with blanks that one time so she thought she was a terrible shot for a whole day

it was him who anonymously circulated those embarrassing photos of Rude when he had his MC Hammer phase as a teen (Rude was not embarrassed in the least and maintains that he looked cool in parachute pants, with a flat-top fade)

it was him who threw a red scarf in with Rufus' laundry when they were in Junon and it was the only suit he brought, so he had to do a press conference in bright pink

it was him who taught Darkstar to bark wildly whenever Scarlet says the word "boring" or Hojo says the word "fascinating"

Tseng actually laughs really easily and has a very childish sense of humor. a lot of the times that he's being all silent and stoic and mysterious, it's because he literally has to bite his tongue to stop himself laughing at some stupid shit, and he can't talk while he's doing that

no one but Tseng's mother has ever actually heard him laugh (like really laugh not the villain laugh he does when he's making a theatrical scene about some evil shit he's up to)

Tseng smokes when he's stressed. no one in the fucking world knows about it and they never will. there is never even a molecule of lingering scent on him ever. the lengths he has to go to in order to accomplish this are….excessive, since no one would give a shit if they knew he smoked. he just doesn't like anyone knowing anything about him

on that note, no one knows where he actually lives. he keeps multiple dummy addresses on file with Shinra to throw the HR people off. the other Turks can't even figure it out because he always spots them when they try to tail him. like from 200 yards that asshole is supernatural or something

he considered Zack his best friend because they had several missions together and exchanged multiple sentences outside of work, due to their both caring for Aerith. it destroyed him that he failed to save Zack and he became even more cold, detached, and emotionally unavailable because of it. no one ever noticed any of this because he's a goddamn pro

he still has the letters

he's a huge dorky ridiculous Vincent Valentine fangirl and the secret president of the (admittedly very small) fan club

the fan club is called the TV Club, as in Turk Valentine, because that makes it sound like boring nerd shit that no one would be curious about if it happened to come up somehow

most of the TV Club members are retired Shinra employees who had crushes on Vincent back in the day, before he disappeared. the conspiracy theories regarding him being alive rival those of the famous Elvis truthers, and some of them get weirdly close to the real facts (those ones ironically are the most laughed at and least believed theories)

there is some very well written but anonymous reader-insert Rookie Turk x Agent Valentine fanfic on their message board, but no one can prove who wrote it

Veld is also in the fan club

so is Sephiroth for reasons currently unknown

people say Tseng's Turk Valentine cosplay is absolutely stunning (mostly because he's also beautiful, black-haired, and Wutaian) but they have no idea how how very much painstakingly historically accurate detail is in it. he had the suit custom tailored from a vintage midnight-blue worsted wool fabric that he had to hunt down because it's not in production anymore

he actually checked Vincent's old service sidearm out of the Shinra armory on supposed official Turk business to go with the costume even though everyone thought it was a replica, because real weapons are not allowed at the convention center. he knew. that was enough.

he wore the costume for the office halloween party, one year, but everyone at work just thought he got a new suit. Reno almost had a brain aneurysm over even that much, though, so it's probably for the best that they didn't notice.

however, the fact that they didn't notice the very obvious blood-red contact lenses made him deeply worried for the future of the Turks. everyone was required to attend remedial espionage training the next week, much to their bitching and moaning

@soundcrusher tagging you cause you said that you wanted to see this silliness. you brought it upon yourself! 🖤

[thepromisethatlovecouldbeeternal]

tvd adjacent so I wanna see if anyone else agrees

If you've read ACOTAR and are active in the fandom, I swear the ship war is veeery familiar to TVD 😂

You've got the "destined" pairing where people want them together because they're fated to be = Stelena / Elucien (of course, Elena actually liked Stefan whereas Elain does NOT like Lucien. AT ALL.)

The one where it doesn't even make sense but people ship it because they read waaaay too much into interactions that aren't even romantic, and somehow keeps coming up with headcanons that are already canon scenes for another ship? = Bamon / Gwynriel

The one that clearly has insane chemistry, and is all "fuck destiny", has many romantic and friendship moments, everyone around them can clearly see SOMETHING between them, to the point that even Stefan/Lucien can tell and it makes them uncomfy because they have to acknowledge that there is something there, they're touch her/him and you die/saved each other, hands them something they wouldn't trust with anyone else, spouts goddamn poetry to the other, etc. etc. = Delena / Elriel

And guess which TVD couple was endgame? 🤭

You have fans who also can't spell Gwyn's name, just like TVD fans.

Stefan = Stephan/Steven

Damon = Demon 💀 (this could be intentional but considering they can't spell Stefan or Elena's names either, I'm not sure.)

Elena = Elaine/Elain

People claiming if you don't like Gwyn it's because you're a victim blamer/haven't been SA'd (WHAT THE FUCK BTW) 😐/people claiming if you don't like Bonnie, you're racist.

Sadly, there may be a few that are, but to blanket statement a whole group of people of something horrible/disgusting because they simply don't like a character is wild.

The fandom bullshit will always happen. Sad.

That being said, the only difference for me personally, is that I actually don't care for Gwyn at all, Bonnie was great. Was she my fave? No. Did I dislike her? No. I wanted her to get her happy ending too.

Gwyn? I forgot she existed after I read ACOSF, if she never appeared again, I would not care.

Anyways, rant done.

[chubs-deuce]

Hi! Sometimes I'm shy about commenting, but I saw your post about the Google Docs thing and I wanted to warn you in case you didn't know that they're unclear/shady in regards to their stances on AI usage and scraping in regards to everything in Docs and Drive.!

"Google claims your documents and data are secure when using its AI features, stating that it doesn’t share any part of your document externally. While Google has security protocols in place, including encryption at rest and in transit, it doesn’t support end-to-end encryption, so Google itself has access to your data. Gemini and Google Docs are not open source, so there’s no way to verify the code does what Google claims, which means you’re left with no choice than trusting them to protect your privacy. Additionally, Google Docs allows third-party extensions, which have their own privacy policies and may scrape or share your data. Be sure to check their permissions and privacy policies before granting any outside developers access to your documents. If you want to be completely sure your data is private, the only sure solution is to stop using Google services." - Article by Elena Constantinescu

I switched over to Milanote a while back bc it has document features similar to word (that you can export out!) for mobile and PC but also like a billion other things! And you can still share it with others as well, though I don't think there's a comment/suggestion thing for people it's shared with like Docs (but I haven't used the sharing feature, so don't quote me XD)

I don't know if that's something you knew already, or if that bothers you, but I wanted to warn you just in case! I'm really twitchy about this kind of stuff with my personal work, so I always like to share information and alternative resources when I can, especially with other creative people.

Sorry about the frustration with the application regardless, that sounds like a really stupid problem for it to have considering Google is one of the biggest corporations in the world lmao. You'd think they could at least fix that quickly :P

I appreciate it!

Also I am unfortunately hyper aware of the AI shadiness of it but I have yet to find another app/program that wouldn't require me to manually move files between devices or to some kind of third party or paid cloud service, and the two times I've asked around people kept only having program recommendations that forced manual extra steps that don't work for me

The ease of switching between devices at will and have all changes to the doc saved immediately so I can just keep writing spontaneously while I'm not home or just need to get out of my pc chair for a bit but can continue writing my thing + the suggested edit/commenting features are really important to me and it really fucking sucks that I've yet to find an alternative that works with my adhd this well :(

Please, if anyone has a writing app that has

1. android support

2. syncs between devices in a way that doesn't require down- and re-uploading files manually

3. the option for multiple people to work on the same doc, ideally with edit restrictions or at least color formatting, maybe even without them needing the same program (like a web app)

HIT ME THE FUCK UP ;W;

[valya-kingoftherats]

May be stupid

You may be stupid.

Or just stunned. That's entirely a possibility.

You have found yourself lying on your back. In the middle of tía Elena's driveway. Crutches knocked away just out of your available reach.

Fuck.

Your head hurts. More than normal. It's a stabbing, splitting pinpoint pain along your left temple. You probably hit a rock or something.

You fell. You aren't entirely sure how. Just that one minute, you had successfully made it down the ranchhouse stairs and were headed out to see Julia is the pasture. And then there's a gap. And then you were on your back staring up at the sky. Head screaming. Body protesting equally as violently.

Between your head and your knee, it's all you can do to keep the tears from pooling in the corners of your eyes.

You probably should have listened to Julia. Shouldn't have tried venturing out without her or tía to help you. But you thought you could do it. Should be able to do it.

She can't know.

With any luck, your body will calm down just enough for you to be able to more accurately roll yourself over to get your crutches. And haul yourself back up onto your feet, up the stairs, and into the kitchen where she left you.

But right now, it hurts to breathe, so that's out of the question. Just need to hope that she has a nice long visit with the horses. Very long.

"¡Mierda! ¡Valya!" Well fuck.

There's just no winning. Is there?

"Hey," you raise a hand to give her a little half wave. Hopefully, it's steadier than it looks to you. "Care to join? The view is great."

She's above you now. Broke into a sprint as soon as she realized you were flat on your back, no doubt.

"What happened? Are you alright? Can you get up?" Five hundred questions at once. Not helping your pulsating head.

'Can you get up?' Forget you. It's her that's stupid. What kind of question is that? If you could, you would have already.

But if she thinks you're down here by choice....

"Just enjoying the afternoon," you try not to wince at how rough your voice sounds. Wheezy. Strained. "The sun feels nice."

She crouches down beside you, one hand coming up to block the sun from her eyes. "Suure," she hums, "then let's see you get back u-"

You grunt as your head is harshly grabbed. Pain shooting across your face, right behind your eyes. Doesn't she know how to treat the injured?

"Dios mío, Valya, you're bleeding!" She's loud. Right in your ear, and she's yelling. That isn't good, though. For several reasons.

"It's not. Not. Don't worry, I'm fine." Fuck. You need something here. Anything. Your mind isn't exactly in top condition right now. Wandering and latching onto tía. She's in the kitchen now, putting away the drink pitcher. Gently scolding your for not doing it when you had it out. "I'm fine. That's not blood, that's....Kool-Aid. Yep."

Never mind. It's definitely you that's stupid.

Hopefully, she's more of an idiot than you.

"Kool-Aid? The drink." She does not sound impressed. Or like she believes you. At least she's mercifully released your poor skull.

"Uh-huh. Drinking laying down is hard. I spilt it." If this works, you'll need to find a way to thank tía. You have no idea what the fuck 'sharkleberry' is, but it's the right colour and that's all you care right now.

"Right. So where's the cup?"

"Huh...?"

"Your cup, Val. If you were trying to drink, while laying in the middle of the driveway, you had a cup, didn't you?" Fuck you aren't awake enough for this. She's teasing now, you're sure. Towering above you. Smug grin plastered all over her face.

At least she's blocking the sun.

"Oh yeah. It's. Gone." Today is not your day. You're supposed to be good at this. "I dropped it. Obviously. And one of the dogs picked it up and ran off. Must've been thristy." You force out a laugh. It hurts. Real fucking bad. But hopefully, it sells the definitely humorous situation you're in a bit better.

"So you brought a drink outside. So you could enjoy the outdoors," the emphasis on 'you' feels unnecessary. You've become more acclimated to outside since you first meant. Harsh judgment. "And you spilt your drink, and the dogs made off with the cup." You do your best to nod. "And the crutches?"

"What about them?" That seems irrelevant in all this. Stupid detail for her to get stuck on. One you didn't think she'd notice.

"All the way over here. Behind you and out of reach." Fuck she's perceptive when she wants to be. When it's inconvenient for you.

"Working on being less dependent on them?" You offer weakly. That's a lie even the biggest idiot could figure out. They've been glued to you since you got them, and you're loathe to go anywhere without. Rehab be dammed. They make things nicer.

"Okay." Julia huffs. Poorly attempting to hide her laughter. You don't need this. To be patronized. The lecture about not pushing yourself in the wrong directions might even be better. "Let's get you back inside then, so you can wash all that dirt and juice off yourself."

She bends back down, and the look on her face is pure jubilation. Fuck. It's cute. You brace yourself for her to prop you back upright. Back on your unsteady feet.

You do not expect her to scoop you up like one of the barn cats.

She's got you cradled in her arms. One of them under your shoulders, the other behind your knees. Your own wrap around her on their own accord. You'd rather not fall again.

"I'll get your crutches after you're back in bed." You hate when she's playing the mind reader. She plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, "Val, try not to spill the next cup of juice." Fuck. She's definitely not letting you live this one down.

[isa-ghost]

Hi I saw earlier you were asking for more qphil headcanons? How about phil and federation workers? Like Walter bob or ollie or obviously cucurucho?

Oooo this is a good one >:D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

It's on sight for just about every single one of them. Ollie's safe. Most workers? Neutral. The rabbits? A bit shady and strange, but not quite on sight. Everyone else, more or less? Catch these crow hands motherfuckers.

He has no emotional investment in any of them, even the ones that he's not bothered by. They're part of the Federation, Federation bad. End of story

He's still not entirely sure who the fuck Elena is and at this point he's too afraid to ask.

Tbh I think Walter Bob is the only one he actually genuinely liked, even if just only a little bit. Dude seemed like he was going thru it, Phil felt kinda bad for him

Personally he doesn't count the cappys as Federation aligned. Those are just some random chaotic little guys. Just some funky little tricksters. Maybe even weird Quesadeities. He has a headcanon that they just showed up one day and involved themselves in the events that the Feds put on for the islanders and the Feds just kinda accepted it. And had no choice but to do so anyway.

Nothing makes Phil saltier than trying to fuck up Fed buildings out of spite and anarchist displeasure only to be cockblocked by magic or the convenient arrival of a Fed worker to scold him.

He 100% thinks the tiny Purgatory guys like Luffy are infinitely cooler than any of the Quesadilla workers. They're the only good thing Egg Island had to offer.

He may hate the Feds but you bet your fucking ass he's a little gossip whore. If he heard there was drama and whatnot within the Federation he'd be like ☕️☕️☕️ Oh? WB07 and WB28 are getting a divorce? Interestinggggg,,,

He has very complicated feelings about Fred. On one hand, he appreciated that they made Tubbo happy. On the other, they're still a Fed. That was going to be a doomed relationship from the start one way or another. Did they deserve whatever apparent death happened? Hell no. But a Fed is a Fed and no matter how chill they seem, he's of the opinion that every single one of them should indiscriminately be held at arm's length or further away. For personal safety.

Given the last part of the above, he stares at Foolish like What The Fuck. He's convinced if things go tits up ever, Foolish has put himself in the position with the most metaphorical TNT. He's in waaay too deep.

DON'T GET HIM STARTED ON CUCURUCHO. HE HAS SO MANY RANTS. He wants that bitch in the ground SO BAD. What he wouldn't give to knock them down a peg or 7. Shady ass two-faced ass smug ass how do you do fellow kids islanders ass motherfucker!!!

Man he's in for a rude awakening when the islanders figure out the eggs are technically Feds, by the looks of things. How's THAT for no emotional investment, motherfucker. (He's gonna be a wreck :D)

GOD HE HATES AGENT 18. If he could kill any Fed besides Cucurucho, it'd be that motherfucker. Never has a single not condescending thing to say about him or his eggs, FUCK THAT GUY. He'd kick 18's ass in a heartbeat.

He's still wondering who the fuck was experimenting on Luffy. He wants to... talk 🗡 to them too.

I'm not counting Cellbit's Bolas Day 1 confession as canon so the day Phil finds out he slaughtered a bunch of workers is the day Phil throws Cellbit a massive party. Or at least gifts him a huge backpack of cool shit.

[maxwell-grant]

SF6 announced it's second slate of DLC and there's precisely 1 non-controversial character in it

Yeah and precisely 1 character in there I give a shit about lmao

Yeah, sure, I mean come on they were always going to bring Bison back, he was like the number two most requested in a recent poll and they've been prepping the groundwork for a while. I'm not gonna say I wanted Bison back, but he's the most iconic fighting game villain, we all saw it coming. Either way, everybody who's come back for Street Fighter 6 has come back as the coolest and greatest they've ever been, and I already like Bison a lot so, I'm sure they'll make it worthwhile. I definitely think he looks very interesting at least, really want to know what's up with his new design.

I'm not a fan of two slots going to guest characters? Feels like way too much, I didn't even want guest characters to begin with, but okay. See, there are very few returning SF characters I would trade over a brand new SF6 character, the batting average for the newcomers has been the best it's ever been, but if they are deciding to pull back on adding new characters, and instead rework existing characters or add inconsequential guest crowd-pleasers, okay. I'd rather them not add a new character unless they're putting something really good forwards.

Terry, yeah, Terry's great! You guys know I love him. Of course he gets the honor of being the first non-Capcom guest character in Street Fighter, they have a whole connection. I'd be more impressed if Terry didn't also show up in Smash and Fighting Layer and those mobile collabs and everything, but yeah, Terry!

Really couldn't give less of a fuck about Mai though. Yeah yeah, she's popular, if you get to add SNK guys of course you go with her, Capcom knows what the audience wants, whatever, mostly I find it ridiculous that people treat her like she's some kind of peer to Chun-Li. But like I said, I'd rather have a guest character that doesn't mean anything, than a half-baked new character.

See for a while there I was actually scared that Capcom would stop putting Elena in stuff, considering the HUGE backlash to her USFIV self and how that led to a lot of people vocally disliking the character. I'm glad they aren't cowards because OH MY GOD SHE LOOKS AMAZING

I was dead sure they were going to add Ibuki or Makoto before her, and hell I'm still holding out for Makoto! Out of all the SF3 characters I expected them to add, Elena was very far from the top and I'm very glad to be proven wrong.

They're finally giving her clothes! I don't know who at Capcom keeps pushing them to finally put pants on the women and I hope they never stop. Already the best she's ever looked.

I'm not one of those people that only likes Elena because she has a funny interaction with Akuma in her ending, she was actually always one of my favorites, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not curious how and if they're gonna pick on that thread given the wonderful job they've done characterizing Akuma.

And oh my god how are they gonna animate her, she was always such a distinct character in the way she moves compared to everyone else. How are they gonna update her to the current standards, or make sure she still stands out? They've done such mind-blowing stuff with Rashid, god I can't wait.

[klonnieshippersclub]

Hi Rikki. If Bonnie doesn't like vampires and Klaus doesn't like witches in canon, how do they make sense as a couple?

Long post warning: I think it's important to note that Bonnie doesn't hate vampires and never has. She hates the bloodshed and violation of humanity that comes with vampires. If anything, Bonnie does hate killers. When she meets Kai and finds out he murdered his family, she immediately has a problem with him.

Bonnie’s entire arc was not about hating vampires. Now why is this change ignored by the fandom? Well, who knows. Bonnie has never outright attacked any vampire simply for being one. Just those who were causing harm to her friends or have hurt her directly. Fans don’t try to acknowledge Bonnie and write her off as a vampire hater for 8 seasons. When Bonnie accepted vampirism from ALL her friends. She places their own emotional-needs and wellbeing before her own but that isn’t enough for fans. Bonnie’s emotions are defined as irritating and judgmental when the entire show is about humanizing vampires.

Bonnie doesn't have the luxury like Caroline and Elena to flirt with murderous vampires. Until the very end of the show in season 7 with Enzo at that time Bonnie she claims Damon is her bestfriend. That’s before Elena and Caroline. There’s issues there as well but I won’t get into that. Yet even with the hypothetical thought of Bamon there’s still this continuous negativity directed on Bonnie’s end. Julie insulted Elena just to prove a point. The Bamon Ban existed and it was real. It may have applied to Bamon but with the writer being so vocal about their dislike for Bonnie it meshed with all Bonnie ships.

Klaus hated what his mother did to him and his siblings. He hated his mother for binding his wolf side. The blame for those actions has been to his parents only. There was a never a moment in canon where Klaus blamed anyone else but his parents for what happened to him and his siblings. Bonnie is a witch just like Esther, but why would Klaus hold her accountable for something she did not do. Bonnie wasn’t even alive when Esther did that! It’s ridiculous take to think Klaus would blame Bonnie for his trauma and would not like her because she’s a witch like his mother. Bonnie is NOT Klaus mother and has never been in a maternal position to Klaus. Notice this claim and outright refusal doesn’t exist when people discuss Stefan and Klaus friendship. Stefan wanted revenge for what Klaus had done and they’re still well liked. Caroline can celebrate Klaus death in season 3 and fuck him in season 5 they’re one of the most popular ships. No questions on either of these but it’s Bonnie that people have such a huge issue getting over when it comes to Klonnie shipping. For a ship that is so small and limited in canon there’s always a fan commenting on how “disgusting” and “illogical” the ship is.

Klaus had allies in witches like Gloria, Greta, Genevieve and Maddox. He’s had sex with both Greta and Genevieve who are witches like his mother. Freya is a witch, Hope is a witch. Klaus did not wake up everyday blaming and hating these other women for the actions of his parents. So I must ask again, why would he turn to Bonnie and hate her simply for being a witch? Doesn’t make sense to me. In 2x17 Isobel and Katherine discuss Klaus and witches. Klaus was abandoned by Ansel he still slept with werewolves like Hayley or Lana.

The fandom places rules and regulations on Bonnie because the writers did. I’ve given enough evidence to prove that Klaus would be willing to date anyone despite his parental trauma, as would Bonnie if she is given the affection and chance too. The problem will forever rely in the writers and the fans who continue to push these narratives. A ship so little like Klonnie shouldn’t have many fans arguing about how disgusting and gross it is. Why is shipping Bonnie with Klaus (or any non-canon character) disgusting but none of the canon white centered relationships get this type of reaction. Finally, if the series kept up with Klaus taste in witches the only woman who matches the woman Klaus was intimate with at that time would be Bonnie.

[pascaloverx]

Hit The Road

Chapter Fourteen (FINAL)

previous chapter epilogue (+18)

Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story. Also some information here is not in the order of the series or the same way it happened in the tv series.

Your plan didn't work out. Damn it! Stefan broke down the door amid your screams of pain and grabbed you, throwing you to the ground. Strangely, him throwing you to the ground might have hurt more than being burned in the sun. You don't remember much after that. You can imagine the Salvatores being furious because you tried to end your vampire life. You're almost certain that you're tied to a chair. You try to move your hands and feet but can't. Your eyes slowly open, revealing Damon's room, and then you realize that you are indeed trapped. Damon comes out of the bathroom half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet. You look at him, furious. But you notice that even though you're angry, you don't want to kill him.

"What did you do to me, Salvatore?" You almost shout as you watch him dry his hair with another towel. He's ignoring you, undoubtedly. He takes off the towel from his waist, revealing his naked body, and then slowly starts to put on some clothes.

"You know, you've always been one of the smartest people I know. But trying to kill yourself while a group of people who care about you is trying to find a solution to your problem was the stupidest thing I've ever seen." Damon's tone of voice is sharp; he seems genuinely bothered by the direction this story would have taken if Stefan hadn't stopped you.

"Fuck off, darling, I wanted to die. Not because the idea of a slow and painful death makes me happy, but because dying would prevent me from hurting you." You respond rudely, still trying to get out of the chair where you're tied up. Damon smiles, watching you struggle to untie yourself.

"You won't get out of there without my help, my love. That's because humans hardly ever manage to get out of places on their own. And yes, I called you human. In fact, while you were trying to kill yourself, I was able to track down your ex-best friend Dimitri. He had a cure for vampirism with him. And let's say he was happy to hand it over to save you." Damon's tone becomes almost too dark as he speaks the last part. He definitely killed Dimitri. I can't say it terrifies me, but I think Dimitri sought Damon's wrath.

"You turned me human and killed Dimitri? Wow, it's shocking the amount of things you can do." You speak, facing Damon, almost as a challenge, even though you know you should be grateful for him stopping you from dying or killing other vampires.

"I wouldn't have killed your hunter friend if he hadn't refused to free you from that damn spell. One thing led to another. But at the end of the day, everyone got what they deserved." Damon speaks as he approaches you. He crouches down on the floor, facing you. His blue eyes seem darker, and his expression looks tired.

"We're back to square one, aren't we? You're a cruel vampire, and I'm a human. What now? I age while you remain immortal, watching me slowly die in front of you? Then when all this is over, you go back to Elena and live a vampire life with her?" As you speak, you feel like you're venting to Damon but at the same time complaining.

"We both have at least a few more years before you start worrying about age and dying. I gave you back your human life so you could enjoy it a little longer. But when you want immortality back, just like your vampire boyfriends." Damon unties you, touching your hand lightly to your cheek, wiping away the tears you were shedding without even noticing.

"Did you hear about my idea for everyone to date each other at the same time? Seems like almost dying left my mind clear." You speak, smiling softly, trying not to appear confused by the changes in your life.

"I want you to know that I made a choice too. I chose to stand by the idiotic woman who married me in a cabin because neither of us knew what we wanted." Damon kissed both of your hands gently, then gave you a peck on the lips.

"What a lovely way to make me feel bad. But I won't backtrack, I love you and your brother. Individually but significantly." You pull Damon's face closer to yours, giving him a longer kiss.

"I have to go get more blood bags from the hospital. I think you have a visitor speaking of that, see you later." Damon kisses your cheek and leaves the room almost immediately. You get up from the chair and glance around Damon's room.

"Stefan, I'm no longer a vampire, but I know you're there." You say as you lean against Damon's bed, relaxing your sore back. Being human is too painful.

"I thought it would be weird to come here, to my brother's room, to see you." Stefan says, entering the room with a smile on his face. 

"It's not strange. I guess now we all agree that we're okay with the fact that I..." You almost finish the sentence but are interrupted by a strong and sincere hug from Stefan, who crouched down in front of you.

"I hate you, you know?" Stefan says, kissing your cheek, as if he wanted to savor every detail of you. You then give him a gentle kiss on the forehead and sigh.

"Thank you for saving my life. But next time you knock me down, I'm gonna punch you." You say as you hug him gently, running your fingers through his hair. And so your life as a vampire took a pause so that your life as a human could return, alongside the Salvatore brothers. Damon made a deal with you that when you're ready to be a vampire again, he'll turn you. Obviously, Stefan thinks you're better off as a human. For now, you continue in this romantic confusion where you date Damon sometimes, Stefan other times, taking life one day at a time.

The End...

[mushroomsie224]

Hey hi hello this is me drawing comparisons between Sofia the First and Percy Jackson because I need to let it out.

Listen. Sofia reminds me of Percy so much. She's a kid who's had to take on too much responsibility at a young age to save the world, fighting villains and whatnot. I feel sorry for them both. Sofia especially, since she doesn't even realise how fucked up it is that she has to do all this! She definitely had more choice in the matter than Percy, but still!

They both have magical abilities. Sofia's is mostly thanks to her amulet, Percy's is due to his parentage. They both can talk to animals, though Percy's ability is limited to horses (adding to that, they both have flying horses), horse-like animals such as zebras, and fish. Percy's abilities are mostly water-related (can control water, can breathe underwater, etc.) while Sofia has a wider range of them. She does have one water-related ability where she can turn into a mermaid, but I can't think of more similarities in their powers.

They both have amazing mothers (Sally Jackson I love you). Both of them grew up mostly without their biological fathers, both fathers also coincidentally being linked to the sea. Both fathers were said to have been lost at sea as well, also in Percy's case this was not true.

Okay, now let's come to their stories. Percy Jackson is part of the Great Prophecy, one that came before his birth. On the other hand, Sofia's fate is also in a way predetermined. Roland mentions that he thinks the amulet chose her. Her whole journey throughout the first three seasons, Elena was testing her to see if she would be the right person to save her, amd when she decided she was ready, she sent her a sort of vision. Sofia also has her own story in the Secret Library that she has to finish.

At the end of their respective series, both have to battle a serious threat in order to save the world. Both times, the threat is a great evil that is possessing a previously-established villain that also happened to betray the protagonist (Luke betrayed Percy at the end of The Lightning Thief; Prisma betrayed Sofia in The Mystic Isles). Sofia has to battle Vor (who's taken over Prisma's form); Percy has to battle Kronos (who's taken over Luke's form). At the very end, both Luke and Prisma, now themselves again, are remorseful for what they did.

Of course, one thing I'll add though is that both Luke and Kronos were far better villains. Yeah that's it. Anyways...yeah. That's the post. I have yet to think about the other characters in both series' and how they compare (apart from their parents which I have already mentioned), that may be in another post if I do find anything significant.

Of course, these are two different pieces of media with two different themes and tones, with protagonists who have very different personalities, but I like finding similarities in things I like.