#AND IT WAS PARTICULARLY BAD THIS TIME. LIKE I SWEAR IT GETS WORSE EVERYTIME IT HAPPENS

[mbat]

ohhh bread. i could write poem about bread

[dull-bun]

Them with an S/O that listens to music when they’re sad

BNHA boys when their S/O listens to specific music/genres/bands/artists when they’re sad

I decided to make this because I listen to cavetown (and basically only cavetown) when I’m really down (i also made this because I was crying to AJR in the shower 😔✌️)

Warnings/TW: Swearing, being sad, OOC baku deku and shoto Gender neutral Key: (S/m)-Specific music (I didn’t wanna put artist because maybe you listen to a band- y’know)

💥BAKUGOU KATSUKI💥

He catched on pretty quickly

He thought you just really liked (S/m)

But you were just really sad all the time :(

You usually didn’t cry and only stared at the ceiling while humming the music

But you had a particularly shitty day today

So you started crying, the music making you feel both worse and better at the same time

You didn’t hear your dorm room open (somehow)

Bakugou came in, originally to cuddle or watch a cheesy romcom that he’ll never admit he kinda likes, but once he saw you crying he was ready to beat anyone up

Then it continued, whenever Katsuki heard you listening to (S/m), you were always sad in some way

He eventually figured out that you didn’t like the silence or listening to yourself cry so you put on music

It made him sad when he realized :((

So whenever he heard you listening to (S/m) he would come in with your favorite snack and cuddle you (though, being the tsundere he was, he would grumble and say how annoying it was)

He would say something like ‘stop being sad idiot >:(’

If he finds out someone made you sad, he would be throwin’ hands 👁️👁️

He’ll listen to (S/m) with you if you just want to do that, maybe he’ll put on his own liked music if he notices you getting more sad

Big tsundere man just loves you okay 🥺🥺

💚MIDORIYA IZUKU🌿

AHVDHEH HE’S SO CUTE-

u m anyw ay -

lil deku was so clueless 🥺

You always listened to music, especially (S/m)

He also thought you just really liked that music

poor boy didn’t know that you were sobbing :((

You were almost just as emotional as him, almost

But you knew how to control your tears AHBJEBFJ

So everytime you would cry, you would loudly play (S/m)

Not loud enough to annoy anyone but enough to get Deku to notice (and enough to hide your loud sobbing but-)

One day he heard you playing (S/m) and was like ‘I wanna cuddle and hear music with them :D’

But then he also heard your soft sobs :((

He entered really slowly and hugged you

After that day, when he heard you playing (S/m) he would get worried :(

He’s an overthinker so he always thinks you’re sad when you play (S/m) (and you are)

He sometimes cries with you AHABEWJHBFERNFKJ

If and when he cries with you, it ends up with the both of you cuddling and taking a nap with your music in the background

He’s just so sweet 🥺🥺

Would try to distract you in anyway that he can

He’ll take you to the park and get ice cream with you

If it’s late in the night, he’ll watch videos or movies with you, even if it eventually leads to both of you sleeping on the floor with a bunch of pillows and blankets around you 🥺

‎️‍🔥TODOROKI SHOTO🧊

Mans is pretty observant

Your dorm was next to his (let’s pretend Sato’s is next to Asui’s???)

So he heard you listening to (S/m) pretty often

He noticed that, when you listened to (S/m), you never really came out of your room (Unless you had to)

When it was one of those days, you didn’t even come down to eat

Which made him worry

a lot-

So he brought food up to you

He knew from the start that you were sad when you listened to (S/m)

He knew it was your way of kinda coping

He was glad that you weren’t using other unhealthy coping mechanisms, but sad that he heard you listening to (S/m) often

So when you start playing (S/m), he walks into your dorm (with your permission) and cuddles you 

He wouldn’t really cuddle you at the start of the relationship, maybe just hold your hand

But when he realized how much his cuddles helped you, he got more comfortable 

He whispered small reassurances, saying how it would get better and how he would be there for you 🥺🥺🥺

He would giVE YOU FOREHEAD KISSES 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

PLEASEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMM

Would run his hands through your hair (if he could)

He would turn down your music slightly and cradle you in his arms until you fall asleep or feel better 🥺

oKAYYYYYYY

I felt bad for not writing today so I decided to post something small :) Sorry it’s so short, I was also doing my hw during the writing of this 

I’m once again very sorry for OOC characters! Have a nice day :)

[bbystark]

Koneko

Light Yagami x Reader 

Request: “Death note light yagami x reader. Pre kira au. Romantic. Light likes to punish reader for being disobedient and teases her.” by anon 

Warnings: steamy fluff, swearing Light being kind of a dick™, dominant/submissive behavior

A/N: I hope I did the request justice (this took a little while longer than expected), I tried to make Light canon while also letting there be room for affection. Enjoy anon :3 

Word Count: 1103

Feedback | Requests 

Light wasn’t a public person. He had a perfect reputation to uphold in front of his peers and teachers, and he wouldn’t let anyone ruin that. 

Not even you. 

You had met Light at school, being one of the few students that could keep up with him in class. You weren’t particularly outgoing or flashy, you liked staying in your own shell, only occasionally breaking out to prove a point in class or end a debate with some cocky asshole. Light never really paid attention to you, save for the side glances and polite smiles when you backed him up in class when the teacher was wrong. 

But then there was that classic cliche where you get paired up with your crush for a project and all the sudden the two of you are in love. Except you neither of you really had any romantic attraction to each other at first, just a respect for having mutual values of education. No doubt you found Light attractive- the confidence and intelligence were enough to make you look at him a little longer than necessary. His famously good looks didn’t help. But you didn’t hold your breath in thinking you and him would ever be a thing. 

He was pleasant enough to be around, and sometimes you had the privilege of seeing through the perfect student persona he had created. 

Then Light realized you wouldn’t be a bad accessory to hang off his arm. You were one of the smartest girls in school and had never thrown yourself at his feet and embarrassed yourself “Just for a chance Light-Kun!”. 

Not to mention that he actually enjoyed your presence. He almost never said it aloud, but you know. He loves your submissive tendencies and willingness to challenge him. It’s infuriating to him, igniting a flame that only you can quench. He’d like to think he has total control over you, but sometimes, he questions the amount of power you have over him. 

You, of course, are unaware of any power you have, other than maybe getting him to open  up in the late hours of the night and tell you he loves you. Aside from that, he’s completely in control of you. You are not exempt from the dominance that is shown in the very way he holds himself. In fact, now that you know him more intimately, the effect he has on you is worse. 

Today is not one of those days, however. 

“I told you Light, I have to go home. My parents are expecting me.” You grab your notebook, placing it in your backpack and reaching for your pens. 

“And I told you, y/n, You’re staying here. It’s raining and it’s dark out. Don’t be an idiot.” He snatched the pen from your fingertips and went back to his notes, as if you weren’t there. 

“Light-,” you grab for your pen, “Light!” He doesn’t let up, easily moving it away from your hands everytime you come too close to grabbing it. You give up, crossing your arms and throwing yourself on his bed. Your skirt settles on your thighs, almost looking as exasperated as you. 

Light glances at your legs, then turns his attention to his notes once again. 

“What am  I supposed to tell my parents?” 

He scoffs. 

“You’re smart, aren’t you? Tell them you went to a friends house and you can’t get home.” He smirks when he hears your sigh. 

He’s just about broke you. 

Or, at least, that’s what he thought. 

“No, Light.” You see him still, and take the chance to grab your pen. “I have to go home.” 

This time, you turn your back on him.

He looks at you for a split second, and then takes two strides to stand behind you. He grabs both your wrists, your arms bending at your sides. His slender fingers envelop your wrists almost painfully tight. He pulls you against him, your back to his front. You feel his muscles tighten behind you. 

“What did you just say?” He bends his neck to your ear, whispering lightly. When you don’t answer, he pulls you closer and runs his nose along your jugular. His grasp tightens. 

“Answer me, koneko.” 

“I said no.” 

He grip loosens, but only to use his fingertips to dance up your wrist. 

“What kind of boyfriend would I be, letting you walk home alone in the dark and rain, hm? What would people think? Besides, I don’t want you catching a cold and whining about it for the next two weeks.” 

You almost want to roll your eyes, but before you can, he’s pushed you on the bed and carefully placed himself above you. One of his hands hold both your wrists in place. His knee pressing between your thighs. When you realize the position you’re in, heat rises to your face. 

“Oh, look at you. So willing to disobey and then cowering when you’re being punished. Such a pathetic little brat.” His free hand strokes your hot cheek, making you squirm. He pushes his knee closer in retaliation. 

“Stay still, this is what you get.” You stop moving, your eyes trained on his. “Good girl. Now, you’re staying here. With me. For the night. I’ll walk you home in the morning.” 

He presses a gentle kiss on your forehead, followed by a demeaning pat on the head. 

“Ok Light. I’ll stay.” 

He laughs, then lays on his back, pulling you to lay on his chest. He lays a hand on your hair, stroking it occasionally. 

“You bend to my will so easily. You’d think you’d fight back more, for such a stubborn little thing.” 

“That was me being stubborn.” You pout, irritated that he was right. 

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth, y/n.” 

You’re about to say something but are cut off with Light’s fingers gripping your chin and pulling your mouth to meet his. His kiss is firm, and he momentarily darts his tongue out to tease your lips. He pulls away and you’re left with no words in your throat. He’s taken them with his display of affection. 

He seems to know this, and mockingly smirks at you before pulling away completely and returning to his desk. 

“I have more reading to do. Lie down and get some rest, and try not to bother me.” 

You almost argue, but decide against it. Instead you slip off your shoes and nestle your way under the covers. Your eyes get heavy, surrounded by Light’s scent and soft blankets. Right before you drift off, Light pauses from his textbook to look at you. 

“Goodnight, koneko.” 

-

Thank you for reading! 

Feedback | Requests 

[going-fancognito]

Hi! I love ur work ! How about a head canon of Revali, Sidon and Link were they make they s/o cry. Like they were fighting or they said something that hurt their feelings.

*I spy with my little eye, one of my guilty pleasure tropes*

Everytime someone says they like my writing I go through two stages; 1. Shocked disbelief 2. Going into a fit of happy child giggling.

Seriously, to everyone who takes the time to read my stuff; TYSM!!

Okay enough gushing, ya’ll came for a head canons!

Characters are ordered from most to least likely to make you cry.

Revali:

I think we all saw this coming.

Best Rito isn’t known as an asshole for nothing, so obviously he topped this list. 

(Hey, first time he ever beat Link at something)

It’s normal for you two to bicker

But there’s one time where it got way out of hand

Now when Revali’s angry, he shoots words out like a machine gun: they’re quick, painful and accurate

(Good luck getting a word in edgewise)

His comments eventually drive you to tears

UNFORTUNATELY, Featherhead here is a hothead

Will be too caught up in the moment

“Oh there’s no need to act childish Y/N,” There’s a mocking bite in his tone “enough with the crocodile tears.”

When you continue sobbing, his anger starts melting away to guilt

Suddenly he’s very aware of what he’s said

He done fucked up

He’s at a loss for what to do

Will mumble something about training and take off, leaving you alone for the rest of the day

(It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just worried that he’ll make things worse right now)

Eventually you cry yourself to sleep in the same spot from that afternoon

You wake up the next morning wrapped in a bundle of blankets inside your hammock

Once you’ve managed to untangled yourself, you spot Revali nearby preparing breakfast

He glances up when he hears you approach

Nervously, he slides some fresh cooked omelettes onto a plate and hands it to you without a word

His face looked like he was worried you’d to eat him instead

(And not in the good way)

You both spend a good minute staring at each other, trying to figure out what to say

Revali decides to break the silence first

“I took some time to to reflect on last night’s events. I realize that I......may have gone too far.”

“No shit.” Sadness had morphed into anger overnight. If he wanted your forgiveness, he’ll need to say a lot more than that

Instead of the usual snippy retort, Revali nods “I suppose I earned that”

...Well that’s not the response you were expecting

Apparently he paid a visit to Zelda last night to discuss her recent friendship with Link. 

He wanted to know how she managed to resolve things between them.

Throughout his explanation, his gaze remained trained on the wooden floor 

His feathers begin to fluff up when you don’t respond right away

“I have many talents y/n, but this isn’t one of them. I have little experience in romantic relationships, along with the difficulties that come with it”

“However,” He finally meets your gaze. “I wish to learn. If you are willing to give me a chance, I promise to do my upmost to work on...this.” He gestures between you and him with his wing “What happened last night... I swear that it will never reach that point again.”

And if you allow him to, Revali will make good on his word

Link:

This guy’s mastered the silent treatment

Link’s a quiet guy so he tends to become distanced when he’s angry, rather then yell it all out

You learn this the hard way after a particularly bad argument with him

 Suddenly, he’s acting colder than an ice talus 

No matter what you say, the only response you’ll get is a dismissive grunt 

This goes on for days

The dude is surprisingly good at holding a grudge

However, one night he returns home late and hears faint weeping

He sneaks upstairs and finds you with your back turned to him while you quietly cry yourself to sleep

His heart nearly cracks in two once he catches a glimpse of your tear-stained face

Will quickly leave before he can get caught

Conversations aren’t his thing, and the situation required more than a simple apology

One thing is clear though; he needed to make amends.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a note on your pillow the next morning

Inside it is your boyfriends handwriting, apologizing for his behaviour

Will proceed to list everything he loves about you, from the general things to your little quirks; everything he never says out loud

You did’t even realize you did half of these things 

But Link did

And he loves all of it

At the bottom, he makes you a promise to make up for the last few days

Downstairs, Link’s prepared your favourite dishes

Any of his recent cold behaviour is nowhere to be found

During breakfast, he lets you know that he’s taken the weekend off to spend time with you

That weekend feels like heaven

What Link lacks in words, he makes up for action

Will insist on doing your share of chores, takes you horseback riding for a picnic, he even shows you his secret spot for stargazing

You both take the time to enjoy each others company

 By the end of it, the argument is nothing more than a distant memory

Sidon:

It-it honestly hurts my brain to imagine this soft boi being angry

Like, no.

He baby.

It will take a LOT to make Sidon lose his temper

Even then, it’s probably over something like your safety

For example, if you have a habit of recklessly running into danger with no regard for your own safety like a certain Hylian

Sidon will try to bring up his concerns with you. Multiple times.

You just wave it off every time

The constant dismissing eventually causes him to snap

He won’t do anything big, maybe just raise his voice or shout in frustration

“Would you please LISTEN TO ME!?” 

(Bruh, even when he’s angry he’s polite)

Unfortunately, Sidon is also an 8ft. shark with a booming voice

You know he’d never actually lay a claw on you. He was a gentle lover (No, not like that you naughty sinners)

However; when you hear the natural growl in his voice, and baring his fangs in irritation-

In that that moment, you’re terrified to the point that tears start sliding down your cheeks. You don’t even notice them as they fall

But Sidon does

Poor baby is crushed

Will immediately crouch down and gently gather you up in his arms

He tries to make his voice as soft as possible, cooing words into your ear in an effort to put at ease

“Shh, shh - please don’t cry darling. I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He rubs small circles on your back to help calm you down. “I swear that won’t happen again.”

Great, now he’s crying too.

(You might actually need to comfort him now too)

Once you’ve both calmed down, you try talking things out again.

This time, you take his worries about you more seriously

(Seriously, where’s Sidons’ official Disney prince title?)

(Get on that Disney)

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: If it's not too much to ask, can I have headcanons for omega Shouto with an alpha s/o? Nsfw or sfw is up to you! Love your writing, love! 💞💞💞

I've been waiting for this moment for fucking W E E K S

Thank you 😌

And this is gonna be HELLA long :)

SFW-

• Sof boy

• He's quiet and can have an intimidating demeanor but he's a baby and he WEAK for you

• I mean the first day he saw you, he felt something

• At first he thought you were another omega

• You were shorter than him and the smile you sported the first day had him fooled

• It wasn't long before he realized you were an Alpha

• You and a few of the other Alpha females of the class were particularly protective of the omega females

• specifically you and Mina

• It came as no surprise that you ended up in the Bakusquad later on

• You didnt exclude the few omega males either

• When he first meets you, like actually meets you, is when he realizes you're an Alpha, based on smell alone

• You smell like Sandlewood and Chai and he LOVES it

• It makes his knees weak

• and you're just so soft?

• Like you have that calm that good Alphas posses and you use it often

• And when you use it for him one day, because he was freaking out, he thinks he's gonna pass out

• It took him WEEKS to realize the pangs in his chest werent physical

• He liked you

• and he doesn't feel like waiting around so he courts you instead and when you look surprised he isnt sure what to feel

• And then regret and dread fill him and he wishes he could just be normal with social cues and interactions

• And you realize he's zoned out a little, shaking and it looks like he's going to cry and you use that stupid Alpha thing on him

• You coo softly and pull him into your chest, telling him it was okay

• And he feels like he's gonna die again but he loves it so much and he's SO relieved when you accept his courting

• When you hugged him he realizes just how touch starved he is

• Anyway that's hour the powercouple of 1-A began

• He's not a big fan of PDA but he's not opposed to holding your hand

• Or sometimes he's had a bad day or he's not feeling the best mentally and he won't care he just wants to be with you

• Will 100% walk into bakusquad hang out in the common room just to hide his face in your shoulder

• Or sit next to you quietly

• You'll wrap an arm around him and press a kiss to his temple while you continue your conversation with Sero and Denki

• Listen they think it's the CUTEST fucking thing

• Because it is. It really is.

• Bakugou pretends it grosses him out but it really doesnt

• He honestly thinks it's a lil cute too and mentally swears that if his BF dont treat him the way you treat yours he dont want him

• Yall will help eachother study

• Because he's good at math but you're good at english

• So it balances out

• And training. Lots of sparring.

• You're also the one to calm him down

• Todoroki tends to beat himself up a lot over his 'daftness'

• He doesn't always pick up on social cues or know how to keep a conversation

• And he hates that because he feels that sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable and they're his friends and he doesnt want that

• So it'll get to him and sometimes if he over thinks it too much he'll start to panic

• You told him that whenever he felt like that, he came to see your it he called you

• He feels like it's a burden but when he see's the look of love in your eyes and the way you hold him and kiss his cheeks, he doesnt feel like that anymore

• He's so happy with you???

• and he loves you so much

• Y'all are just so disgusting

• Sappy as fuck but also the right level of completely roasting eachother

• It's nice:)

• He cooks for you no doubt

• You make him Soba when he's sad

• When you're sad he'll hold you against his chest and whisper in your ear to counter whatever you had just said

• If you ever feel mediocre it less than him he'll tell you why you're absolutely not less than him

• Ys fights aren't really super serious but it can still get a little heated, it never ends it break ups though

• It usually ends in taking a few hours to calm down (Todoroki refuses to let either of yall go to sleep angry with a problem unresolved) then talking it out and at least TRYING to come to a compromise

• Usually it's about wellbeing matters (overworking and being reckless and what not)

• Going full Alpha if someone fucks with him in battle 🤪

• Going full Alpha if you see him hurt on the field 🤪

• Snapping at Endeavor that one time 🤪

• Him going feral that one time you and Bakugou got SNATCHED 🤪

• Oops 🤪

• LISTEN

• You show him memes and Vines and junk and you teach him about them and one day he just makes a reference but he's completely deadpan about it and you're laughing so hard you fall out of your chair because HOLY SHIT

• He grins a lil

• His alpha laughed at his joke🥺

• S c e n t i n g

• Todoroki loves smelling like you

• He'll steal your hoodies (the oversized ones you have anyway)

• OR he'll have you scent some of his things because he's gonna smell like you dammit

• also gives you a box of your things that he's scented and you dont even mind because Todo smells so good and it's gonna make him happy so hell yeah

• For him Scenting can either be really calming or erotic

• To wind down he'll sit on your bed and you'll be on his lap, scenting him and it just makes him feel so calm

• Will fall asleep

• When he gets really comfortable with kissing he'll be constantly pecking your lips and kissing the nape of your neck when no ones is paying attention

• Once while you were on the couch with Bakusquad, he was walking by with dekusquad to go out and do whatever nerd shit they do

• And he stopped where you were, moved your hair to the side and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck and then just. Walked away.

• needless to say you short circuited

• and he does that often

NSFW-

• I once read about Sub/Bottom Todoroki and

• I can't stop thinking about it bc it lowkey works so well

• I feel like he'd be a switch though

• Like somedays he want to be wrecked by his Alpha

• But sometimes he wants to see you squirming and breathless underneath him

• He'd probably prefer to sub/bottom tho

• As I said before scenting can either be really calm for him or it can be erotic and like an immediate turn on for him

• So when it is like sexy time, and you're scenting, this man doesnt stand a chance

• He's whimpering and he's so hard it hurts

• He's got his neck bared for you and his face is read

• It smells like pure sex in the room, its really strong and you both LOVE it

• One time he gets hit by a heat inducing quirk

• And you help him with that because it so much worse than regular heat and you can tell its hurting him

• And he smells so fucking good

• Before he really lost all sense he managed to put a collar on you you couldn't mark him, your Alpha wasn't pleased with that

• Anyway Todoroki gets fucked into the mattress repeatedly, mewling and crying out and he's so fucking pleased with your hips rutting into his

• he feels so full and his omega is fucking KEENING because if the attention he's getting

• You're either leaning over him or you've got your hands on his waist

• He's never been more thankful for the stretching you've made him do so he wouldn't pull muscles

• After a week of the two of you going MIA, the two of you timidly return to 1A

• At some point the teachers (and endeavor) had found out.

• But what were they going to do? You two weren't on school grounds, you weren't breaking any rules

• Endeavor sure as hell isn't going to interfere

• I feel like even Endeavor would understand the gravity of the situation and that the only way to help his son was let him and his Alpha take care of it

• and as long as he's not officially marked by the end of it, he doesn't care

• Shouto does, however, have a shit ton of hickies and scratches and bruises. Everytime he looks at them his omega keens again and he loves it

• Like, Hickies on his jawline. Hickies on his arm and the back of his neck, on his thighs and stomach

• Bruises on his wrists and hips and thighs

• Like all this shit is visible

• He reassured you after you apologized profusely for like 2 hours that it was FINE and he LIKED it

• His class had a fuckin stroke

• especially Deku

• Bakusquad is lowkey impressed bc holy fuck YOU did that???

• 'You seemed so Vanilla'

• Lmao sikeee

• Todoroki learned a lot about what he liked during that

• He likes having his hair pulled

• He likes being praised and told how good he is

• He likes being DENIED what he wants until he's BEGGING for it in short and broken gasps, moans, and sobs.

• He likes Sharp and rough sex followed by something sweet and slow

• He probably wouldnt be on board with being degraded really, which is fine bc I cant imagine anyone who would want to degrade this boy

• From then on you do tend to help him with heats they just dont last as long

• He really likes grinding

• Just like all forms of it

• Making out? He's going to have you grinding on him while you're sitting on his lap

• He's horny and you're busy? He'll ride your thigh while you're doing work on the computer

• He felt like Domming today? He's going to grind himself on you while he's still got pants on.

• Laying in bed? He'll hump and grind against your thigh while you smile and kiss him.

• He just really loves it

• /Thourougly/ enjoys foreplay

• one of his favorite parts about sex

• When he doms- he starts out a little nervous unless he's in a mood but he'll quickly fall into it

• His voice is just so suited for being a Dom like wtf

• He'll lean down and whisper in your ear

• 10/10 dirty talk

• Uses his body as sex appeal to make you squirm

• will cuff you

• Will tie you up

• He'll not let you touch until your like really close

• He likes to see you come undone underneath him

• He thinks you're so pretty when you've got drool dribbling down your chin with your eyes lidded and face red

• He thinks your moans are the best

• I don't see him as being particularly loud in bed until he's actually a mess

• so it starts off as quiet groans and silent moans but as it goes on he'll get louder

• in heat though he's VERY loud

• Let's say you're in the middle, it depends on what's happening

• Y'all have the perfect balance of absolute filth and it's never boring :)

[bbyx]

ripple effect - part nine

Summary: During her fourth year at Hogwarts, (y/n) Deauxville falls for none other than Cedric Diggory. But it's not easy when you have to deal with protecting your family's fortune, keeping your father's illness a secret and having two of your closest friends catch feelings for you.

Pairings : reader x cedric, reader x draco, reader x harry (y/n) walks to care of magical creatures, worried lines creasing her face. 

You were planning on seeing Harry first thing this morning so he could explain how the fuck his name ended up in the Goblet. But Harry hadn’t shown his face at breakfast. You were a little disappointed, knowing the shoe prank would have cheered him up a slightly.

 (y/n) had started getting very worried when Ron said he “didn’t give a rat's ass about where Harry was.” Hermione was nowhere to be found and all your other friends were too hungover to be of any help. You regretted never going to sleep, you and Draco had stolen some Wideye potion from Snape’s cabinet, but the potion made your mind feel foggy. On second thought, maybe that was just the hangover. 

The fresh air doesn’t help much at all, the wind makes you dizzy and your eyes can’t seem to focus with all the light sweeping through your sunglasses. If it weren’t for Harry, you would have done the same as Cedric and Nick, who both didn’t bother to go to class today. 

“Harry!” You croak, wincing at the pain growing in your head.

“(y/n)! Uh what’s with the sunglasses?” Harry says, glancing up quickly at the cloudy sky.

“I think it’s pretty self explanatory.” You say, inching the glasses down to show him your bloodshot eyes. 

“Harry, what happened with the Goblet.” You say, your tone becoming more serious.

“ I’m not sure, somebody must have put my name in somehow. Moody thinks somebody’s trying to kill me again.” Harry sighs running his hand through his hair. “ And Ron's jealous, and half the bloody school hates me.” He looks so exasperated, you wish you could just take all his worries off his shoulders. You missed the happy boyish glint in his eyes.You grab his face in your hands. 

“Hey, I don’t hate you.” You say softly, which finally brings a small smile to his lips.

Draco’s blood boils as he walks the grounds to Hagrid’s hut, seing (y/n) and Potter’s silhouettes. She’s resting her head on Harry’s shoulder and laughing at his stupid jokes. Draco knew that should be his shoulder. And to make matters worse she seems to only have eyes for that big Hufflepuff oaf. Finally (y/n) breaks free from Harry and joins the rest of the Slytherins. Draco motions for Crabbe and Goyle to shut up as he nears Potter.

“Ah, look, boys, it’s the champion, got your autograph books? Better get a signature now, because I doubt he’s going to be around much longer. . . . Half the Triwizard champions have died . . . how long d’you reckon you’re going to last, Potter? Ten minutes into the first task’s my bet.”  

Before Draco could pull anymore insults from his brilliant mind, Hagrid arrived carrying huge crates filled with those disgusting skrewts. The giant man explains that students will be paired up to take the skrewts on a walk. Draco takes a leash attached to the grey slug like thing and joins (y/n)’s side.

“Be my partner?” A voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

“Of course.” You answer, sounding even raspier than before. 

“Bad hangover huh?” Draco says as the creature starts venturing off.

“Hmm” Is all you managed to say back, your head hurting from all the thinking you’ve been doing about the Goblet mystery.

Walking the skrewts was a disaster, everytime one of their ends exploded it would send the skrewt, and the poor student walking it, flying forward a couple feets. Lavender Brown was constantly screeching because apparently her skrewt was “trying to kill” her.

Yeah I'm rooting for its success.

Draco wouldn’t even let you near the skrewt, holding it out as far away from you as he could. 

“Why can’t I walk it? It’s just like a dog.”

“Dog?! Have you seen this thing? No, I'm not letting you near this death machine. It’s already burned you once...”

“You’re so annoying Dray.” You say playfully shoving his shoulder.

“(y/n) you can’t even walk straight yet.”

Just at the right moment his skrewt’s end blasted and sent him flying in the mud. You laugh so hard falling to the floor, bracing yourself for the next wave of pain. 

“I’m dropping this class next year, I swear.” He grumbles, getting up and glaring at the creature.

You were mad, furious even at Draco for making those stupid Potter stinks badges. Draco was furious at you for jinxing most of them to say Malfoy stinks instead. The two of you weren’t speaking anymore, making the atmosphere with your Slytherin friends very awkward. You took some consolation in knowing that Millicent and Daphne had refused to wear the badges, but for the past week you had been spending most of your time with your brother’s friends or Harry and Hermione. To add fuel to the fire, Draco has gotten into a fight with Harry and jinxed Hermione’s teeth. It also  didn’t help that Cedric was now followed by a group of girls everywhere he went, preventing the two of you from having a private conversation.

On your way to charms, Jeremy appears next to you, fixing his yellow tie. 

“What do you want?” You say slightly angrier than you had meant to.

“Nothing. Um Cedric wanted me to give this to you.” Jeremy says, pulling out a small envelope from his robes.

“Oh thanks.” You say but he’s already ducked inside a classroom.

You rip open the envelope. It reads:

Picnic tomorrow?

Miss you, 

Cedric.

P.S: there will be chocolate frogs.

(y/n)’s bad day had just gotten a great deal better.

You were waiting by the Black lake for Cedric, while everyone else had gone to Hogsmeade. It was a surprisingly nice day for early november, you weren’t cold in your hoodie but you weren't warm either. You spot, from across the grounds, Cedric clumsily balancing a huge basket in one hand and levitating a couple other objects with his wand. You can’t help but notice how dashing he makes the Hufflepuff uniform look. He sets down a checkered blanket on the ground and throws a couple pillows on top.

“Ta-da!” He says opening the basket, filled with warm butterbeers, little pastries and fruits.

“Ced, you’re too nice.” You say giving him a long hug.

“Wait, I'm not done,” He says reaching into his pocket and pulling out a chocolate frog. “As promised.”

“I brought you something too.” You say, ruffling through your bag and handing him a small pin with a gold butterfly. “In French culture, butterflies are supposed to bring good luck, and since the first task is coming up and-”

Cedric’s lips crash into yours. Warm. He tastes warm.He tastes like cinnamon, honey and ginger. He slides one hand in your hair and holds your waist firmly with the other. Finally, you break apart for air. 

“I love it.” He whispers in your ear, grabbing the pin from your hand and securing it to his sweater. He’s wearing his usual lopsided grin.

“I’m glad.” You say, a huge smile spreading on your face.

The rest of the afternoon was one of the nicest you could remember. Cedric had brought bread for the ducks and you laying on his chest, finding shapes in the clouds while he played with a baby duckling. Suddenly he stops humming, waking you up from your dazed state. Cedric shifts, sitting up slightly.

“(y/n) what’s your wand core?”

“Veela hair, my grandmother’s. Why?”

“Just wondering if you had the same as Fleur. She mentioned it  at the weighing of the wands.”

“What’s yours?” You say not wanting to stay on the subject of your breathtaking cousin much longer.

“Unicorn hair.” He says twirling his wand around. He stops. “So if I put your hair inside a wand it would work?” He wraps a strand of your hair around his wand. You ponder his question for a couple seconds.

“Probably, but it would be a weak wand. I don’t think I have a lot of Veela genes.” You say smiling as Cedric plays with your hair.

“You’re always underselling yourself, you know.” He chuckles before planting another kiss on your lips. Then an idea pops up in your head. Cedric looks confused when you suddenly get up. He catches your wrist.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Calm down Romeo, i’m getting flowers for your flower crown.”

“My flower crown?”

(y/n) comes back a little while later, holding dozens of brightly colored flowers. You sit down crossed legged and start knotting the stems together. Cedric puts his head in your lap.

“Are you nervous about the first task? It’s only a week away.” You say looking down at him.

“A little, but i’ve got this now.” He runs his fingers over the golden butterfly. You smile softly. After that, you and Cedric debate about Quidditch as he feeds you sweets because your hands are busy braiding the flowers together.

“Ta-daa!” You say holding up the finished product. The crown was full of daisies, daffodils and carnations.

“Can I put it on?” He says excitedly.

“Of course, I made it for you.” You answer, placing it on his head. He darts like a little kid towards the lake to gaze at his reflection.

“I’m never taking it off.” Cedric says quietly as you walk towards him. He turns and hugs you tightly. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

“We should head back.” You say motioning to the group of girls, back from Hogsmeade, giggling behind a tree.

“Well shit.”

Cedric pulls his wand out of his pocket, mumbles a spell and the blankets that tidied up the blankets and basket. Wingardium leviosa he whispers, making the objects levitate. Then he flings you over his shoulder and makes a mad dash towards the castle.

“Ced! Aah put me down! I swear Cedric! CEDRIC AMOS DIGGORY put me down!” (y/n) says laughing wildly.

Draco was in a particularly bad mood at dinner. All anyone would talk about was stupid Diggory and his stupid flower crown. A number of girls had tried to replicate their own flower crowns but Draco knew exactly where the one on Diggory’s auburn head was from. He had worn multiple of those as a child and was always amazed at the skill of her nimble fingers.

Yeah, keep grinning you big oaf. Little do you know she’s made a dozen of those for me.

“Dragons?”

“Yes (y/n), try to keep up please.” Hermione says quickly, walking to her next class. “He says he saw dragons in the Forbidden forest. And Karkaroff used to be a death eater.”

“Oh. my. god.” You say, your brain piecing everything together.

“What?” Hermione says, glancing at her watch. “What? Please I haven’t got all day.”

“Hermione, remember at the World cup, when I rented that property to the ministry? Remember? Dragons! That’s what they’re using it for.”

You can practically see the wheels turning in her mind. “That makes perfect sense. How did we not figure that out.” She says shaking her head wistfully.

“Nevermind that, how is Harry going to fight a fucking dragon.” You say, racking your brain for spells. Another worry hits you. ”I have to warn Cedric.”

“That’s what Harry’s doing right now.”

“Cedric, do you have a plan? For the dragon, I mean.”

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it, but i’ve thought about this more.” Cedric says, kissing your neck softly. A smile tugs as your lips as you mumble “You’re so cheesy Ced.”

You and Cedric were in a small alcove near the potion classrooms. His warm tongue grazes your lower lip, making you unable to focus 

“I’m serious, I can help you if you want.” He pulls you into a hug, resting his head on top of your hair.

“There is one way you can help.”

“How?”

“What’s your favourite type of dog?” 

“What?” You say, incredulously.

“Just answer.”

“Labrador.”  

“Concentrate, Harry, concentrate” Hermione says.

“What d’you think I’m trying to do?” says Harry angrily. “A great big dragon keeps popping up in my head for some reason. . . . Okay, try again. . . .” 

(y/n) and Hermione were in an empty classroom, trying to teach Harry a summoning spell.

“You need to flick your wrist more.” You say, your nose buried in Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed. 

After what seemed like hours, Harry finally got the hang of the Summoning spell.

“That’s better, Harry, yeah that’s loads better,” Hermione said, looking exhausted but very pleased. 

“Well, now we know what to do next time I can’t manage a spell,” Harry said, throwing a rune dictionary back to Hermione, so he could try again, “threaten me with a dragon. Right . . .” 

He raises his wand once more. “Accio Dictionary!” 

The heavy book soared out of Hermione’s hand, flew across the room, and Harry caught it. “Harry, I really think you’ve got it!” you say clapping. He blushes a little. 

 “Just as long as it works tomorrow,” Harry says. “The Firebolt is going to be much farther away than the stuff in here, it’s going to be in the castle, and I’m going to be out there on the grounds.”

 “That doesn’t matter,” said Hermione firmly “Just as long as you’re concentrating really, really hard on it, it’ll come.”

 “Harry, you’d better get some sleep . . . you’re gonna need it.” You say motioning at the window, where the sky was a moonless pitch black.

The next morning, you woke up in blind panic. Dragons. It seemed so much more daunting than it had yesterday. The sick feeling in your stomach only got worse when the champions were escorted out at breakfast. Everything seemed to be going so fast. Next thing you knew, you and Draco were walking towards the forbidden forest. (y/n) and Draco were on speaking term again because he had agreed to do her potions homework for the month.

“Go get a good spot Dee, i’ll join you soon.” You say before running forward to the champion’s tent.

When you enter, you see Krum looking sulkier than usual on a stool and Fleur  fiddling with her hair nervously. You almost felt bad for her before she rolled her ice blue eyes at you. Harry was talking to Hermione and Cedric was pacing back and forth, his skin greener than usual.

“Hey,” You say touching his shoulder. He jumps slightly at your touch. “ Are you okay?”

“Of course!.” He says, but his voice wavers a little. “ What are you doing here?”

“Came to wish you good luck” You say tapping the little golden butterfly gleaming on his chest. “And give you this.” You say standing on your tiptoes and pressing a lingering kiss on his lips. He grabs your waist tightly, not wanting to let you go.

The sight of you and Cedric kissing makes Krum even surlier than before and Harry is now the one who looks green. At the same time, Ludo Bagman walks in.

“ Ah, young love.” He says, which makes you both pull away breathless. “I’m sorry to break this up but i’m going to have to ask you girls to please step out.” Ludo Bagman says to Hermione and (y/n), who was blushing furiously.

“Good luck Harry.” You say, squeezing his hand right before exiting the tent.

A/N: I’m gonna make a taglist for ripple effect so send me an ask to be added xx. ALSO this is my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE gif he’s just so cute.

[ijustwant2write]

Far Away-Finn Shelby x Reader

Requested by anonymous: 'Hii i love your imagines and i wanted to request one in which the reader is has a crush on finn but she feels useless because she is a foreigner from spain and doesn't have any talent or family so she kind of runs away and tommy comforts her♡'

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, Thomas Shelby x Reader (platonic), Arthur Shelby x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Racism, self doubt, swearing ,fluff

(A/N: I am White British, so I'm sorry if it isn't as detailed as you wanted it to be. I didn't want to write the wrong thing and/or offend anyone, but I hope it's still what you want)

Tags: @jenepleurepasbaby @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're late (Y/N)." Mrs Laine tutted as I ran up to the stall, seeing that it was somewhat already set up.

I failed to catch me breath."I'm so sorry Mrs Laine! My mother-"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Make sure the stall is in place, you know my back doesn't do so well under any weight."

I nodded, doing as she said straight away. Once I thought the stall was sturdy, I helped her arrange the flowers, noticing how my hands were shaking from the cold. The gloves I had on weren't thick enough, and my clothes were worn down. My parents would talk about the heat of Spain, how much colour there was everywhere; Birmingham seemed to be the exact opposite. As foreigners, my parents had found it hard to get jobs, even though England was supposed to promise them good employment. We were on the bare minimum, only just getting by, and my job on the florist stand didn't help much. But Mrs Laine was the only one who would take me on, and although she showed sympathy, she could be a scary woman.

"Heads up, your Peaky boy is headed this way." she said, turning back to the flowers.

Whipping around, I made sure my hair was neat, wrapping the coat together around me to hide the plain dress I had on. My hands weren't only shaking from the weather now.

"Fuck (Y/N), you look freezing." Finn exclaimed as he approached me.

"N-no, I'm fine, just a bit chilly." I replied, hiding my shivering.

"Thought I told you to get yourself a new coat last week?"

Although I was always extremely reluctant to take it from him, Finn always gave me a wad of cash, to help me and my family. I didn't know if his brothers were aware of this, and I was scared of what they would think. I didn't want to use Finn, I had no interest in his money, but after he insisted, and once that first bill was paid, I knew I couldn't refuse, for the sake of my family.

I cast my eyes down."Uh, we...we were behind on some payments."

He gave me a sympathetic smile, though it wasn't pitying me."Right," he dug into his pocket, taking out another roll of cash and putting it in my hand,"that's for your family again. And when you get off your lunch break, I'm taking you shopping."

"Finn, I can't let you do that."

"You've got no choice." he smirked, leaning in closer."By order of the Peaky fukcin' Blinders."

I felt stupid as I giggled. Finn just smiled, keeping eye contact with me as he left until he fully turned around, glancing over his shoulder one last time. Mrs Laine disrupted the flutters in my stomach.

"Be careful girl. He is a Shelby after all."

"Well, he's not bad to me."

"No, but he's done bad things."

I rolled my eyes as she turned away from me. If I had a pound for everytime someone said that to me, I would be the one giving Finn money.

Mrs Laine had almost fired me on the spot when Finn had shown up once. We had met before I got the job, I had only been in Small Heath for a week, having moved here from the rough housing we were in before. Finn was by himself, spotting me struggle to find my way to the market. No one would even look at me as I politely asked for help. People were horrible, judging who I was based on my looks. That's all we got as I grew up, and my parents reminiscing about beautiful Spain and the people didn't help. Why couldn't we have just stayed? Why did I have to be born in miserable England?

Finn wasn't afraid to come up to me, the cheeky grin appearing as he escorted me to the market, staying by my side and helping me barter with the sellers. I didn't miss the blatant flirting, and shamefully I flirted back. If my mother had seen me, I wouldn't be allowed out of the house for a week! We had seen each other a few times after that, but once I got my job, he would always walk to the betting shop through the market to see me.

"Am I alright to go for my break Mrs Laine?" I asked, smiling sweetly at her.

She stared at me for a few seconds, loudly sighing before waving her hand at me."Go on then. But (Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be getting pregnant anytime soon. Got a lot of customers that come here just to see you."

"To see me?"

"Well, do you see any other Spanish beauties around here? It's not just the flowers that are exotic."

"Oh..."

"Well what did you think I was going to say?"

"I don't know...something about me being charming, or just plain friendly."

"I don't mean no harm by it (Y/N). But surely you knew? Plus, Small Heath is a harsh place, might as well have the harsh truth, eh? Especially by someone you know and trust, and not someone off the street."

I was too shocked to retaliate, upset by her true thoughts about me. I thought she had taken a liking to me, even if it was out of pity, and wanted to do an act of good deed. But she was using me, attracting more customers and making me sweet talk them into buying fucking flowers.

"(Y/N), you ready to go?" Finn called as he walked towards me, though I was already rushing to him.

"Yeah."

"Woah, what's wrong?" he asked, stopping me in my tracks.

"Nothing, just some rude customers today."

Finn led me to his car, a brand new one he had just got, now that he was proving himself to his brothers in the betting shop (amongst the Peaky business). I said nothing, only nodding along to what Finn was saying, still focused on Mrs Laine's words as we climbed into the car.

"Hey," Finn snapped me out of my thoughts,"you sure you're alright?"

I hastily nodded my head."Yeah, you know what people are like. Some comments were particularly harsh today."

"Do you know who those people were? Do they need straightening out?"

"No! No, it's fine. I can deal with it."

His hand reached over to mine, squeezing if gently."I'm here if you need me, for anything."

I glanced down at his hand holding mine, those damn butterflies going crazy in my stomach. I felt like an idiot just nodding my head, almost whining when he removed his hand to start driving. The car ride had small talk here and there, but I couldn't help watch the people we passed. All those girls in their pretty dresses, the expensive fabric against their porcelain skin; blonde or brown hair in neat curls, bouncing on their rosy cheeks. And everytime I spotted girls like that, there was always a man or a group of them gawking, as if they were the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. If I were to walk down those streets, it would be an entirely different story; racist remarks, or slimy, low life men who wanted a piece of everything.

The people's clothes looked expensive, some carrying around multiple bags from various shops, the streets were cleaner, the buildings were bigger, and there were more cars. We were definitely out of Small Heath and in the rich part of town. Suddenly I began to feel nervous, knowing I would stand out in the crowd more than usual.

"You'll be fine (Y/N), I promise. If anyone stares at you for two long, they'll be dealing with me." Finn reasurred me as he found a place to park.

"I don't know Finn, there's a lot of...I just wished I had something nice to wear."

"That's why we're here. Come on, I'll even let you hold my hand the whole time."

As soon as we were out of the car, I gripped onto his hand, not missing the quiet chuckle from Finn. He guided us to the main square of shops, and I was in awe. The windows displayed delicate jewellery, the lights making them shine even brighter, and the clothing was elegantly sprawled on mannequins. I had never been to a place like this, and I had never even dreamt that I would.

Finn dragged me into mutliple shops, suggesting things that I would like and getting the shop assistants to help. For a while, I started to enjoy myself, shocked by how many things I looked good in. Finn was grinning the whole time, complimenting me every time I came out in a new dress. However, I didn't miss the looks I got from the women inside the shop, looking me up and down, not wanting me near any of the clothes or accessories.

As Finn spoke with a shop assistant about the sort of coat I was after, I idly walked around, admiring everything. I went to pick up a pair of red gloves, when someone else snatched them away. Looking up, a girl my age had them grasped in her hands, glaring at me. My eyebrows furrowed, confused at her behaviour.

"Excuse me," a worker said behind me,"we don't let shoppers touch the items."

"But that woman just took those gloves." I gestured to the woman who was now on the other side of the shop.

"I'm just informing you."

"Will you inform her?"

"Miss, please do not shout at me."

"I didn't. My voice is at the same level as yours."

"Is she harassing you?" the glove thief intervened, clearly still holding onto them.

"I'm not doing anything wrong." I tried to keep my voice down, I didn't want to give them an excuse to kick me out.

"She would have stolen those gloves if I hadn't got there in time!"

I glanced over to Finn, seeing that he was looking through the coats, not noticing the conflict going on. I could have screamed at those women, accusing them for discrimination against me, but I knew that would paint an even worse picture. Instead, I stormed out of the shop, running as soon as I got outside. I was crying as I ran, making it hard for me to breathe, but I kept going. However, a poor woman like me running through a wealthy neighbourhood was suspicious, and I soon had a policeman coming after me.

"Stop! What have you stolen?!" he shouted at me.

Why did these people think I was a criminal?! I had never done a bad thing in my life! Part of me thought to stop and explain myself, but I knew what would happen; he wouldn't believe me, and I would be taken away kicking and screaming. My legs were burning, lungs trying to gather every last bit of breath, until I crashed into someone, toppling onto the ground with them. I tried to scramble to my feet, but we were tangled, weighing each other down.

"Sorry gentlemen," the policeman said, hauling me onto my feet,"I'll get this scruff out of your way."

"Oi, I didn't ask you to do that."

I recognised the voice. As I came to my senses, I looked at the owner of the voice.

Thomas. Fucking. Shelby.

"You what?"

"She's with me." he blandly said, his brother Arthur looking confused beside him.

"She was running away-"

"Do you know who I am?"

The policeman huffed, shoving me towards Thomas. I stumbled, managing to not fall onto the leader of the Peaky Blinders. We watched as the policeman left, and now I didn't know what to do.

"Th-thank you Mr Shelby. Why did you do that?" my voice was quiet, as I was terrified of this man.

"Yeah Tom, why did you do that?" Arthur said pointedly.

"You're the girl I've seen Finn hanging round." Thomas said.

"Yes."

"I'm assuming he's the one that brought you here?"

"Yes."

"Can you say something other than the word yes?"

"Yes. I mean, sorry, yes, I can."

"Why were you running? And where is my little brother?"

"He's in one of the shops I ran out of. There were just these...these horrible women in there." I hung my head, now getting embarrassed.

"Let me guess, they were being racist towards ya'?" Arthur blatantly.

Thomas sighed at his brother."My brother was wrong for bringing you here. Not because you shouldn't be here, but he should have just fucking surprised you with some clothes. For some reason he loves to show off nowadays."

I didn't say anything back.

"And I know he's been giving you money."

My head snapped up, eyes wide."I swear I didn't ask for it! He always insists, and even when I don't take it, he sends it straight to my house-"

Thomas held up a hand, looking done with the conversation."I'm not angry about the money. It's been coming out of his own wages."

"He's been giving his money to me?"

"My little brother has fucked whores, used girls, he used to be obsessed with screwing around. But for some reason, you're different to him. Has he even kissed you yet?"

I shook my head.

"Then I'm glad he's spending money on the right person."

God, did this man ever smile?

"Thank you Mr Shelby."

"(Y/N)!" Finn's voice yelled out before he rounded a corner, spotting us. He looked relived when he spotted us, continuing to run.

"Finn, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Thomas said, lighting a cigarette.

"Why did you run off?" Finn ignored him, directing his focus to me.

"The women, they were being awful to me. Accusing me of things I hadn't done." I explained.

"Oi!" Thomas grabbed Finn's face, making him look away from me, and at him."You, sort this out and leave. Don't cause her any further embarrassment, alright?"

He let go of Finn, nodding to me before walking away. Arthur pinched his cheeks in his hands, slapping them before following Thomas. Finn shoved him away, but instantly putting his attention back on me.

"You should have told me, I would have sorted it."

"I couldn't. They were ganging up on me, they were driving me out of the shop. I didn't want to embarrass you, you've got such a big name. And they were all probably thinking you had gone crazy for bringing me here in the first place."

"I don't give a fuck what they think. If I had noticed sooner, I would have threatened to fucking cut them."

"Oh, because that would have made the situation better."

"You know what I mean. I just can't stand when people are like that towards you. It doesn't make sense to me."

"I'm different Finn, I'm totally different from everyone around me. I look different, my accent is different, my parents struggle to speak the language...and nobody wants to accept that."

"I do. You're just (Y/N) to me. One of the most stunning, interesting and caring person I have ever met. You've never wanted to use me, when I give you money, there is genuine resilience in your eyes, but I know you take it to help your family instead of yourself. That's why I thought today would be nice. I could finally treat you to some nice things. Make you look even more beautiful."

"For fucks sake Finn, you're going to make me cry again."

"Those clothes you wanted are still in all the shops. Think it's time I paid for them."

"Thank you Finn." I leaned up, kissing his cheek, enjoying watching the blush on his cheeks.

I grabbed Finn's hand, rubbing my eyes before smiling at him. We started walking back towards the shops, and I felt more confident, though not because Finn was beside me; but because someone understood me. Even his brothers were nice to me, and that was the first time I met them. I didn't need a man to make me empowered or keep me safe, but the puppy love that was blossoming into something more serious gave me confidence, to really show others that I was worth something. They were all wrong about me, and I wasn't going to be quiet about it anymore.

[miioouu]

Headcanons (for Deku, Bakugou and Kirishima) where theyre pretty close to their crush who started noticeably hiding a secret, suddenly hanging out with someone else. Turns out they wanted to learn a new skill to impress them. Something small but doable (like learning the ukulele or some other thing)

We want to impress the bois👏👏 Thank you for requesting!! ❤️💜❤️

Midoriya Izuku 💚

- You two were close friends since the beginning of the year.

- You were best friends, never hiding anything from the other, even your most embarrassing stories!

- But lately, you began to feel something for the green haired boy.

- Your heart seemed to beat faster around him, you'd often get jealous, something you never felt before for him, whenever he'd pay more attention to someone else other than you.

- Secretly, he was feeling the same, but he thought he'd never get a chance with you, so he buried his feelings deep inside, ignoring them.

- But you weren't like him, you wanted to impress him.

- Knowing him for as long as you had, you realized Deku's amazing drawing skills! So you decided, that maybe if you got better at this creative hobby, it would earn his attention.

- So now you started hanging out with one of you artist friends from the Support Department, thus making deku feel a bit left out.

- And everytime he'd ask you about it, you just ignore him changing the subject, or straight out lie.

- Even though he was pretty hurt that you were keeping something from him, he never pushed you to tell him, knowing it was something you wanted to keep private and he respected that.

- One day, after having ignoring him a whole week, you ran up to him, giving him a hug.

- He was surprised, what has gotten into you y/n? One day you never talk to him, the other you show him so much attentin.

-"Dekuuu, I know I've been treating you badly lately, but it's for a good reason! I swear!"

- You'd reach into you backpack, pulling out a piece of paper. After asking him multiple times if he was prepared to see what you've been so busy doing and teasing him about it, you finally gave him the paper.

- Smile stretching on his face, eyes lit up and red cheeks, hw couldn't believe what was before him. It was a magnificent painting of the both you.

- After you've explained to him that you've been working on it with the help of your friend, everything clicked, why you were always so tired, why you'd ignored him so often.

-"I just wanted to impress you Deku!"

-And you did, he now has the painting framed in his bedroom, always looking at it when he felt down. One day, soon, his bedroom would be filled with pictures and paintings from you. But first he needs to confess.

Bakugou Katsuki 🧡

-Were you two friends? No? Best friends? Meh, that's closer. You two were best friends for ever and ever and ever and....

-Well that's what you told people. It wasn't a lie, but maybe you were exaggerating a bit.

- And maybe, everytime you'd mention it, it would truly pull at our angry boy's heart.

- Was he being friendzoned? Why does he care anyway, you were just a random person, nothing special about you.

- Well, except your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your sweet voice....

-Fine ok, you are special and he is in love with you! But he will never, ever admit it.

-But you didn't know that, and you really didn't know that Bakugou was that simple of a man.

-Thinking you needed to impress him to catch his heart, you always spent days daydreaming about how you'll do it.

- Finally in class, while everyone was talking about some concert or something. It hit you!

-Bakugo was really into music. Everyday he'd come to class with his earphones on, and when he's in a good mood he'd quietly hum his favorite song. (ok but emo music was so junior high bakugo, now he's into jazz, disco, electro type of music I will NOT accept any criticism thank you)

-So maybe a way to get his attention, was to impress him with something he is passionate about, music!

- So why not ask Pikapika to help you learn the guitar? Nothing bad can happen, right?

-Oh but were you so wrong, so so wrong.

-Learning a new instrument took way too much of your time, and wanting to be decent at it, you'd practice extra time, which meant spending more time with Kaminari.

-Now you saw nothing wrong with that, enjoying his company, and the way he hypes you up to make the explosive boy head over heels for you.

-But Bakugou did. What are you always doing with Denki? And why aren't you telling him? Were you keeping secrets from him? HOW DARE YOU?

-Well he let it slide, but not without shading you every once in a while. But he had enough of your little secret when he saw you walking out of Kaminari's room late one night.

-He wanted to kill him, murder him with his own two hands. And you? Why didn't you tell him damn it?!

- He returned to his room for he wanted to be alone with his thoughts after being betrayed by his owns friends.

-But he didn't get the chance as you came barging into his bedroom.

-"Katsukiiiii wanna hear what i learned on the guitar? Of course you do silly why am i even asking?!"

- You didn't even give him time to yell at you for coming to his room that late, to kick you out and tell you to go back to your secret boyfriend, as you excitedly began playing his favorite song.

-It wasn't perfect, but he couldn't help but find it so cute when your brows frowned in concentration, and thr way your little tongue sticked out on a particularly hard note.

- As you finnished, you looked up to him, trying to detect a reaction from him. As much as he wanted to praise you, he couldn't get pass the fact that there's something between you and Kaminari.

- When you asked him about it, and he shouted at you that he couldn't believe that you kept your relationship a secret from him, you put the guitar down, and explained to him that no, you're not in a relationship with electric boy, and you were just learning guitar from him so you can catch his attention, he never felt so stupid.

-"You don't need to learn any new skill to make me fall for you y/n. I already have..."

Kirishima Eijiro ❤️

- Kirishima was everyone's friends, but it took someone special to be his best friend.

- And luckly for you, you had that unique something that made you, not only his best friend, but the redhead slowly starting to develop feelings for you.

-He found you perfect, but he was still too insecure to actually tell you that.

- On the other hand, you were also head over heels for the boy, but how could you not?

- His angelic laugh, his sweet smile and his soft eyes everytime you looked at each didn't help with trying to get rid of those feelings.

- After the realization of being in love with your best friend finally came slow and clear, you decided to act up on your crush.

- You had no idea how Kirishima felt about you, you were just his friend nothing more.

- But you wanted to impress him, maybe he'll start seeing you in diffrent way.

- What's something that could impress him though?

- Manly stuff, manly stuff, manly stuff... What does even mean Kiri?!

-How were you to catch his attention if you didn't know "manly" activities.

- It was untill the both of you were training that you figured it out! He'd be so so shocked if he see you wight lifting.

- But ugh what a paiiin, it was really difficult and you don't think you're able to do that without someone yelling your head off to keep going.

- Oh well that's easy to find, smirking, you approached Bakugo whonwas looking at you suspiciously.

- You explained to him how important it is for him to help you, and you may or may not have accused him and blamed him "you don't want to see me happy? You want me to die alone I knew it!"

- Oh my god you're so dramatic, he had enough with your cries so he finally gave in and accepted to help you.

- But with that, it meant spending less time with Ei, which confused him.

-Are you mad at him? Did you decide that he wasn't good enough to be your friend? Have you realized how much of a loser he is and his friend is much better?

- You did see how down Kirishima looked lately, thus deciding to train harder and finally show him your impressive new skill.

- But it actually made things worse, he's been seeing you with Katsuki almost everyday, ditching him to go to the gym with the blond instead him.... Are you... Are you in love with Bakugou?

-How did that happen? And why was Katsuki betraying him? Should he let it slide or have a talk with you?

- The day he decided to face you, you planed to show him, insisting that he'd come to the gym with you.

-"Look what Baku has been teaching me!"

- You'd pick up one of the heaviest weight, eyes never leaving his form to see his reaction.

-To say he was impressed was ana understatement.

-"So that's what you were doing with Katsuki? I thought.... I thought you were ditching me for him..."

-His words stung, is this what you made him feel like? Is this why he was so sad recently?

- After reassuring him, that you would never, ever ditch him for anyone and that you were doing all of this to surprise him and maybe see you as more than a friend. He couldn't believe his ears, running up to you giving you the biggest hug.

-"y/n you know how much i like you! You didn't have to try!"

[kodzumie-archived]

Y’all make me so h word with these asks bro please.. the talent yall mfs have is absolutely immaculate. I love it here, I love all y’all I swear

Anyway, a thought for the masses-

Bully!y/n with Nagito who goes insane and wants revenge 🤠 this is a long one so be prepared and forgive any grammar mistakes I started writing and then didn’t stop LMAO

you spent years tormenting him. Like in the worst ways possible. When you were younger you Pulled his hair, stole his lunches, pushed him around, even cut his hair at some point. As you guys got older your torment got worse. And Nagito being the guy he is always took everything you did in stride, a sweet boy. Everytime you yelled he’d always apologize for being in your way. Acknowledging that he was beneath you in every way and didn’t deserve to breathe your air.

Years pass and you guys have graduated and gone your separate ways, you’ve become very successful in your job. So successful everyone suspects you’ll be living in comfort for the rest of your life. However, though Nagito had never said anything out loud, but he’s always wanted to return the torment you gave him, maybe not in the exact way but ya know. His need for revenge turns into an obsession, his hatred for what you did to him fades into a psychotic love for it. Your harsh words were his, your icy glares were his, your disgust was his, so.. that means the rest of you is his too, right?

And just his luck! You’re adults now, running into each other at a bar (which actually wasn’t a coincidence, he did some stalking to find out where you usually were on days off.) he walks up, striking a conversation, you’re clearly not in a good mood based off how many glasses are in front of you. You catch up with each other, and surprise surprise, you’ve been fired from your job, something about you stealing work from another colleague, which you were framed for! But no one believed you? what a tragedy, (of course.. he already knew though.. ) and Nagito being the gracious former classmate he is offers to let you room with him until you’re back on your feet! What an amazing man he is, right?

Fast forward and you’ve been living with him for a few months now, the once loud you that was there is now a shell. Every job interview you had has never worked, multiple nasty rumors about you going around making socializing and just leaving the house in general hard (wonder who started them.. ) you’ve become a hermit, completely depending on Nagito to survive. And of course because of your sense of pride and repayment, anything he asks of you, you do! Because how could you not? After all that time tormenting, he’s still so nice to you, so you have to pay him back right? Of course that way of thinking only became so after thorough manipulation and guilt tripping on Nagito’s part. But it was worth it. When you cry to him about being helpless, he comforts you in his arms, calling you beautiful and amazing. When you’ve been particularly good by his standards, he spoils you with things his knows you like. And he can tell by the look in your eyes that his plan has worked perfectly. Not only did you need him, you now loved him too. Your life has completely fallen apart in his hands, your every move is now in his possession and he can dictate you as he pleases. everyday he comes home to see his pet ready and willing to serve him in any way he desires. Perfect execution.

As always—and I mean always—this is perfection.

AAAAHH LEMME SCREAM ABOUT HOW THE READER WAS JUST—!! THE BIG BAD BULLY THAT MADE HIM RUE HIS CHILDHOOD IS NOW RELYING SOLELY ON HIM

SHEHUD YES YES YES!!! HIM GETTING HIS REVENGE IS SUCH A GOOD TWIST AND IDEA FUUUUUCK YES!!! NAGITO IS NOT A PUSHOVER!!! MF WILL FUCK UP ANYONE WITH THE POWER OF HIS LUCK AAAAAAA

THE GRADUAL MANIPULATION AND THE FATEFUL ENCOUNTER AT THE BAR IS WHAT LED TO IT ALL AAAAA!!

OH OH OH OH AND ALSO—!! PLEASE ALLOW ME TO APPLAUD YOU FOR THE SET-UP OF THE READER’S PROBLEMS!!

Rumors are seriously so damaging to one’s reputation and the opportunities they’re provided depending on the severity of those rumors; even if they weren’t confirmed! Which I adore that being a major point in why the reader can’t get back on their feet without Nagito to aid them.

aND THE WAY THIS IS INCORPORATED WITH NAGITO’S CHARACTER AS A WHOLE AND IN SUCH CONTRAST TO HIS USUAL SUBMISSIVE SELF AND THIS TIME, HE’S THE ONE BEING HAILED!! HE’S THE ONE ABOVE THEM!!

Gahh..!! I can’t explain how much I love the dynamic in which Nagito’s not the worshipper of someone. It’s a fresh contrast for him to have reign over another! And especially with the way you potrayed it! You remained in the realms of his character yet you delved to the idea of him being in control; him taking over.

AAAHH I LOVE THAT SO MUCH, I CAN’T EVEN PROPERLY EXPRESS HOW BEAUTIFULLY YOU’VE CONVEYED IT ALL!!!! BULLY READER + MANIPULATIVE! VENGEFUL! NAGITO IS AN INCREDIBLE CONCEPT

VEGA, BABE, YOU’RE LITERALLY A GENIUS!!!!

[authorwiththedragontattoo]

The Snitch Seeker Chapter 4

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3  

When he had first heard about Hogwarts eighth year, the thought of attending didn’t even cross Draco’s mind. He had run away from the dark lord, barely evaded Azkaban and spent the last four months living in a house that was being monitored 24/7 by the ministry. They knew every move they made, if Draco decided to put an extra sugar in his coffee one morning, the Ministry knew about it.

So, when Narcissa Malfoy came into his room one day holding a letter from Minerva McGonagall requesting his return to Hogwarts in September, he was shocked to say the least. —– or yet another hogwarts eighth year in which draco redeems himself fic

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Draco startled awake as the dipping of his mattress jostled his sleeping form. His eyes blinked open and he looked to the window, groaning at the stars still twinkling bright and no sunlight in sight. 

“I’m sorry dear, I didn’t mean to wake you.” The low voice of his mother whispering into the darkness eased Draco’s confusion. 

Suddenly a warmth was at his back as he felt Narcissa shuffle closer to him until her arm was draped around his waist and her forehead was pressed between his shoulder blades. Draco sighed sleepily and reached up to hold her hand.

“It’s okay, I was having a nightmare anyway.” 

Draco let his eyes slip shut again, ready to let himself slip back into his slumber, this time with his mother’s presence to make the night a little less frightening when he heard a small whimper from behind him. His eyes shot open again, listening hard to see if he had imagined the noise, but another weak whine confirmed he hadn’t.

“Mother?” He asked, the question met with a sniffle and the grip around his waist tightening.

“I’m okay, my love. Go back to sleep.” Narcissa’s voice wavered and cracked.

Ignoring his mother’s request, Draco gently span himself around in her arms to finally look at her face to face. The moonlight only dimly lit the room but it was enough to see the glow of tears running down Narcissa’s cheeks and to see her crumpled expression. 

“What’s wrong?” Draco brought a hand up to wipe away the tears with his sleeve. 

Narcissa leaned into his touch, and a pained sob left her chest despite her best efforts to hold it back. This seemed to be what broke the dam as many more sobs quickly followed suit.

“I’m so- I’m so sorry…” She tried to speak through the outburst but it only caused her breathing to become more laboured, leaving her gasping for air. 

Draco pulled himself as close to her as he could, tucking his head into her neck and hugging her waist. He shushed her gently, trying to calm her by slowly rubbing circles into her back. 

“My precious boy, I’m so sorry…” She continued to mutter apologies through her crying until eventually she got her breathing under control and her tears ceased. 

She didn’t have to explain what she was sorry about, she didn’t need to tell Draco the reason she climbed into his bed in the middle of the night. He knew. They both did. So he didn’t try to ease her guilt, he didn’t try to tell her that nothing was her fault or that she was completely innocent - he knew as well as anyone that guilt was not that easy to overcome. So instead he whispered, “I love you, more than anything.” into her neck before they were both eventually consumed by sleep once again. 

A bang jolted Draco from his sleep. 

He jumped up into a seated position as his brain quickly tried to catch up with his eyes. He wasn’t in the dormitory, he observed, glancing around the room in confusion. He eventually recognised the large fireplace, concluding he had fallen asleep in the common room. Again. 

He groaned as he felt the ball of pain at the base of his neck that always came from sleeping on the sofa - his body too long to fit on the damned thing. As he blinked back the blurriness of his vision Draco startled to see what he assumed to be the cause of his abrupt awakening. Harry Potter was knelt on the floor frantically trying to pick up what appeared to be pieces of a broken mug. 

Draco froze, unsure of what to say as his eyes found Potter’s. It had been three months since they arrived at Hogwarts and Draco could probably count the number of times he’d seen him outside of lessons on one hand, despite their beds being right beside each other. At first Draco assumed he just didn’t sleep in the dorms at all, but on one bad night in which he couldn’t get a wink of sleep he discovered that Harry usually came in after everyone had fallen asleep and left before anyone woke up. Draco never really slept well, and his light slumber was often disturbed by the rustling of bedsheets in the early morning. 

 It was as if he was actively trying to avoid Draco. Which he probably was. Draco was definitely actively trying to avoid him. 

He could deal with the loneliness, he could deal with constant looks of disgust and disapproval. Merlin knows he’s used to them anyway; but there was something about Harry Potter. Something that had shame burn a hole through his chest and leave his lungs spilling with acid. When he was looking at him Draco suddenly felt like he was taking up too much room, like he wanted to shrink until there was nothing left of him. It wasn’t like Harry looked at him with hatred or disappointment, in fact he didn’t really look at him with anything. Everytime it had been a blank stare, like he didn’t quite know how to react. It was a change from the years of scowls he used to receive from him, although this is somehow worse. 

Although this time, there was a flicker of something; Draco couldn’t place it, he had an almost incredulous look to him as they made eye contact. And his cheeks had dusted slightly pink, probably due to causing such a disturbance. 

“Sorry,” 

There it was, the first words he had heard from Harry Potter in seven months. Draco tried not to dwell too hard on the irony of it. 

“I was trying to make a cup of tea, I didn’t want to disturb you but I… I dropped it.” 

Draco’s eyes gave Harry a quick once over, taking in his mussed up bed hair, the stubble on his chin, the almost childish plaid pajamas. Although Draco couldn’t judge, after all he had unfortunately slept in his robe. He looked back to Harry’s face, which was still looking at him with an odd expression. 

“It’s uh… it’s ok.” Draco stuttered, cursing the roughness of his sleep-heavy voice. 

Harry nodded and offered him what seemed to be a half smile; although it could have easily been mistaken for a grimace, before turning and awkwardly shuffling from the room. 

The tension finally seeped from his muscles as the awkward situation dissipated and Draco felt his breath return to him. He glanced to the grandfather clock beside the fireplace and tried to ignore the fact that it was 5:15am. 

He brought a hand up to rub his tired eyes but froze when he felt a wetness on his cheek. Tears. 

He had been crying in his sleep, and Harry Potter had seen it. Bollocks. 

He frantically wiped the remaining tears from his face, cheeks burning with embarrassment. God he must have looked pathetic. No wonder Potter was looking at him like he had grown another head. 

The memory that came to him in his sleep had left him feeling vulnerable, reminding him how terribly he missed his mother - he missed both his parents, really. But he felt a fierce need to protect his mother, he hated being away from her for so long. She could take care of herself, of course - but something about remembering the night she had sobbed in his arms left Draco wondering if he should just go home for Christmas and stay home, and never return to this godforsaken place. 

After deciding some tea ought to calm him down he moved to stand when he was reminded of the exact reason he had fallen asleep in the common room in the first place. His (still unfinished) potions homework lay crumpled on the sofa where his body had just been. 

-----------------------

Draco could swear steam would start rising from his quill any second.

Potions had once come so easy to Draco. He was easily in the top three in his class for most of his time at Hogwarts, he was gifted in it and he really did enjoy it thoroughly. He had often pondered the idea of taking up a career in it, maybe a potioneer or possibly even a Healer. 

Of course, he had to let that dream die when his sixth and seventh academic years were spent practicing the Cruciatus curse instead of doing his potions homework. The result was he was almost a year behind everyone else in terms of knowledge - and he was struggling to keep up. 

“Mr Malfoy?” 

Draco’s eyes darted from his parchment and resisted groaning out loud as he saw Professor Slughorn looking at him, ready to ask him a question no doubt. 

“Professor?” 

“A fire protection potion turns a total of three different colours while brewing. What colour should it be when it is ready?”

Fuck. He hadn’t gotten to the fire protection part of the homework. He had fallen asleep while doing the Veritaserum section. 

“Um… blue, sir?” 

“Afraid not,” Slughorn shook his head, “It should turn red. Blue, green and then red.”

Draco frowned and brought his pen back to scrawl down more notes. 

Brewing the potion was even harder. It wasn’t exactly a particularly difficult potion, but it was sensitive to how you sir it - and if you stirred it the wrong was then the consistency wasn’t correct. Draco was on his second attempt and the room had dwindled down to only a few people who were still left brewing - most people having been successful quickly. And it wasn’t exactly like people were rushing to be his partner, so there wasn’t anyone he could ask for help. He’s not exactly sure his ego would allow him to do that anyway. 

He looked at the crushed Wartcap powder in his mortar, and figured it was ground enough, so he went to add it to the cauldron when a voice came from beside him.

“It needs to be finer than that.” 

He turned to see Hermione Granger looking at him. Draco didn’t like looking at Hermione, it made him feel ill to his stomach. Not because she’s bad to look at; she’s rather beautiful actually. But because every time he saw her face, he can still hear her screams echoing throughout his home. 

But it seems he was doing a lot of things he didn’t like lately, so he looked at her anyway. 

“The Wartcap powder.” she confirmed, evading her gaze from him to the mortar, “you haven’t ground it enough.” 

He continued to look at her in confusion, making no move to alter his mistake. He was in enough shock that the girl had even approached him, never mind offered him advice on how to pass the class. She could have gone the rest of her life never saying a word to Draco, never even looking in his direction and Draco wouldn’t have blamed her one bit. He would have encouraged it! Hell, she could even jinx the back of his knees every time they were in the same room and he would have written her a ‘thank you’ note. 

Yet here she was, offering her help. 

She seemed to become visibly uncomfortable at Draco’s continued lack of reaction, so she reached for the textbook that Draco had failed to actually look at, “you need to read the instructions carefully. it says it needs to be ground until it resembles sand, yours looks more like breadcrumbs.” 

Draco still remained confused and greatly uncomfortable with the situation, but he concluded he wasn’t quite ready for his mother to receive a letter home saying he was failing, so he looked to his mortar. It did kinda look like breadcrumbs. 

He hesitantly brought the pestle back to the powder and began to grind again, after a few long, awkward minutes, it reached a finer consistency. 

“There, now add it to the cauldron and stir clockwise.”

“Look I can read a textbook, you don’t have to be such a know-it-all.” Draco spat, feeling increasingly embarrassed about the situation. 

Hermione blinked at him and stepped back, looking frustrated, “Fine, you can complete it yourself.”

She turned to leave when Draco’s arm reached out to grab hers. He immediately let go when he noticed he had grabbed her left forearm, much like him she kept it constantly covered up. 

“No, sorry. Please help me with the incantation.” He muttered quietly. 

Hermione looked briefly to the arm that Draco had grabbed, before nodding her head and turning back, “Stir it in then.”

This time without argument, Draco stirred the potion until it finally turned the deep red colour he had been hoping for. He felt his lips tilt up into a small, timid smile. 

“Now, flick your wand like this,” she motioned her wand in a psi shape, “and say the incantation frigore flamma”

Draco complied, and the skin of the potion set alight with flame, the flames then turned blue before disappearing, leaving a perfect Fire Protection Potion. 

Draco sighed in relief, “It finally worked.” 

“Well done.” Hermione smiled. 

Draco looked to her, and remembered all the times he had envied her for her potion making skills. Potions was supposed to be his thing. Something he excelled at. Something that had made his parents proud. And then a muggleborn came along and was suddenly always above him. It had infuriated him, and yet he never once thought that perhaps he could learn from her. A chuckle slipped past his lips.

“What?” She asked him.

“All that time I spent trying to beat you. I should have just asked you for help.” 

A funny look graced her features, it almost looked like… shock, but also, pride? Like she had wanted Draco to say something of the sort but like she never expected it to happen. 

“Well done Draco! A fine example of a Fire Protection potion!” Professor Slughorn interjected as he looked into Draco’s cauldron, “You ought to take a vile with you, it can be a very useful potion.” 

Draco did, and he looked at the potion in pride as he left the room before slipping it into his pocket. He hadn’t made a successful potion in months, and now that he had he finally started to feel like perhaps he could complete the year with good grades and maybe even think about having a life in the future. 

“You’re about seven months too late, Malfoy.” Seamus Finnigan approached him. Draco felt his heart sink, he had been trying his hardest to avoid him. 

He didn’t necessarily blame Seamus for not wanting him around, but he didn’t appreciate how he actively seeked him out to remind him what a vile human being he was. Draco wasn’t blind to the irony of it. 

“What?” 

Seamus gestured to his pocket, “That potion. I think Goyle could have used it seven months ago, but I doubt it’ll be much use to him now.” 

The people that had heard what he said went silent, and stopped to look at Draco. People around them audibly gasped. And for good reason. Draco felt a raging fire burn through his veins. Finnigan was always vocal and was never one to wait to voice his displeasure. He could be a little mean now and then, but he was never cruel.

And using Draco’s dead friend against him was cruel. 

“That’s not fair, Seamus.” Draco heard the voice of Ron Weasley behind him but he made no move to look, he was too busy trying to burn holes into Finnigan with his glare. 

He itched to reach for his wand, his hand twitching towards where it was concealed in his cloak. The action made Finnigan arch a brow, challenging him. He knew what he was doing. He wanted Draco to hurt him, or at least attempt to. Because he knew if he did he would be sent home and his second chance would be blown, he would just forever be known as the irredeemable Death Eater and eventually people would forget about him. He almost considered taking the bait, this whole ‘second chance’ thing was becoming tiring, he missed his mum, had no friends and he wasn’t even doing well in his classes.

But as always, the image of his mother stopped him in his tracks. Her getting kicked out of their house with no money to fall back on, having to take care of his father while trying to house, clothe and feed them. Draco being unable to get a decent job due to having no N.E.W.Ts. He lowered his hand, not taking his wand. 

“I don’t need this.” He muttered, before storming past. 

He avoided looking at the portrait of Goyle on the wall as he carried on walking until he was out of the castle doors. 

People who asked to be tagged:

@fantasticreads0402

@idk-i-draw

@laviepotato

[themadlostgirl]

A Request

*I completely forgot I had this in my requests. Better late than never.*

Prompt: Peter blackmails Reader. (It was vague so I took liberties)

Requested by: Anon

Warnings: language

“That is the last time I arm wrestle Felix,” I groaned as I rolled my shoulder. I beat a few of the other Lost Boys and then Felix came in and popped my shoulder out of place! Asshole.

I crawled into my tent and reached under my cot for my diary. Being on this island and dealing with all these boys took a lot of emotional energy. I wasn’t particularly close to any of the boys either so I did all my venting in this journal. It also helped with figuring out how I felt about the others. Especially Pan.

It is fair to say that half of this journal was me trying to put into words the weird amalgamation of irritation, respect, fear and attraction I had for Peter Pan. He’s a bag of dicks most of the time but also fun and funny and willing to work with you if you too are willing to take criticism. As the only girl on the island (outside of Tink) I did not want to go around talking to anyone about a crush I may have had on the leader. I certainly didn’t want anyone to know about the couple sordid dreams I may have had of said person. The torment I am sure would cause me to die of embarrassment or even worse Pan would kick me off the island because he’s disgusted by my feelings.

I reached under my cot and my body broke out in a cold sweat. Where is it? Where’s my diary? I flipped the entire cot over but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t anywhere in my tent! Oh god...this isn’t happening! I did another sweep of my tent and the surrounding area but it was gone.

Trying to search the camp discreetly was not an easy task. I need to keep calm. It’s not like my name is in it...but it is my handwriting and I lament about being the only girl and I am completely and utterly screwed, aren’t I?

“Looking for something, Lost Girl?” A voice behind me made me freeze.

“No, not at all,” I turned around to face Pan.

“Really? Certainly looks like you’re trying to recover something you lost.” he held up my diary.

“Damn.”

“It’s a real page turner.” he flipped through a couple of the pages. I reached for it but he held it out of reach. “I’ve seen you doodling in this a thousand times and I have to say my curiosity got the better of me.”

“It’s all nonsense. I don’t know why you’d think--”

“I am much more interested in what you think, dear Y/N.” he tapped my forehead with the journal. “The fact that you think I have flecks of gold in my grassy green eyes. That’s nonsense?”

“Obviously.”

“Or how about how you wished you could have concluded a rather saucy dream you had been having--”

“Stop!” I wrestled the diary away from him. My face was burning. “I hate you.”

I stormed off trying to pull together some remaining shred of dignity.

“Hate me or not,” he teleported in front of me using my moment of shock to pluck the journal out of my hands. “I think we are in a most interesting situation.”

“What do you want?”

“If you do not want the contents of this diary released to the rest of the camp then you’ll do as I say.”

“Pan…” My stomach started to twist. “If you think you can blackmail me into doing--doing--”

“Nothing like that. I’m ‘an arrogant codfish’” he quoted with a smirk, “But I’m not inhumane.”

“So what do you want?” I breathed easier but by no means was I relaxed.

“Be my personal servant for a week.”

“What?”

“Follow me around, do whatever I say, wait on me hand and foot. That sort of deal.”

“I think you’re taking this King of Neverland thing a bit too far.”

“Only when I get a crown will it have been too far.” He held out my diary for me.

“And you promise that if I do this you won’t tell the others?”

“You have my word.”

I took the diary back and held it close to my chest. “Fine. I want you to know that I think you’re an asshole though. Taking the diary in the first place was one thing but blackmailing me isn’t helping my opinion of you.”

“I know what your opinion of me is, Lost Girl. Theft and blackmail isn’t going to hurt it too bad I wager.” He winked and stalked off.

I swear to god I am going to end that boy.

“Hey, servant!” Pan shouted across the camp, “Shouldn’t you be following your master?”

And so my own hell begins.

~~~

A week of being Pan’s servant was horrific. I had to do dumb mundane things that I know he could accomplish himself with just a flick of his wrist. One day he had me stand in for target practice. Nothing hit me but I tensed up everytime an arrow flew at my head. I made a comment about how dumb this servant thing was and he made me scatter flower petals in front of him wherever he walked. Then because I would run out I had to go back and collect all the stepped on petals I had just dropped.

What was strange was that about halfway through the requests became different. No more target practice and mundane tasks like filling up his canteen. Like the one evening he complained that he was cold and instead of doing something rational like get me to start a fire or fetch a cloak he made me lay down with him on the hammock. It was awkward and the looks from the boys that passed were terrible blows to my dignity.

It wasn’t entirely horrible though. Aside from the sniggering Lost Boys it had been a pretty nice time on the hammock. Then another day he asked me to taste tests some food he had stolen from the pirates for poison. It didn’t occur to me until after that there was no way the pirates could have had freshly baked cake or perfectly roasted pheasant on the ship. Peter must have conjured it. But why make me eat it with him then?

By the last day he wasn’t even requesting anything from me outside of following him around and occasionally grabbing something for him.

“Well, Peter,” I skipped next to him, “Tonight marks the last day you have your servant.”

“I’m aware.” he sighed, “It’s been fun.”

“For you.”

“You haven’t had fun?”

“You used me for target practice!”

“I used the apple for target practice. You were merely the stool it sat upon.”

“I’m just glad this whole ordeal will finally be over.” I went on ahead of him.

Later that night I sat by the fire at peace that the blackmailing could finally come to an end. Peter sat down next to me. I could tell something was on his mind but for whatever reason he wasn’t saying anything.

“Got another request?” I joked, “I know that technically I stopped being your servant an hour ago but you’ve kept your promise so far so I’ll grant you one more request with no argument.”

“One more request, huh?” he stared at me for a long time before that dumb smirk creased his face. He stood up and held out hand to me. “Dance with me.”

“What?”

“You said no arguments.” he reminded me, “Come on. I promise I won’t step on your toes.”

“If that’s what you want to waste it on then by all means. Let’s have a dance.” I rolled my eyes but inside my heart was doing somersaults. Why out of all he could have made me do, was he asking me for a dance? There had to be some kind of motive. Some embarrassing play to be had.

He pulled me off the ground and he lead me around the bonfire. Slowly at first but the pace of the dance quickened with the song. I let myself stop worrying about what may happen and let myself enjoy the experience. There was a reason for my feelings for Peter. In a moment like this it only reminded me of why I needed the diary in the first place. What I felt was too strong to keep to myself. I needed to express it someway.

My eyes were locked with Peter’s as we twirled around and around. It took me a moment to realize that my feet were no longer skipping across the dirt. We had ascended into the air. Far above the camp and the trees so we were surrounded by starshine and moonlight.

“Peter?” I clung onto him more firmly as I started to wobble.

“Don’t worry. I got you.” He smiled at me. “I just thought it would be better up here.”

The buzz of magic around us made it hard to think straight or maybe it was his eyes staring at me in that soft manner. We were pressed so close that I could feel the warmth radiating off him. “Better for what?” I heard myself asking.

“A final request.”

“You used your last request.”

“I know. I don’t ask it expecting you to obey because I can blackmail you. I want your honest response.”

“To what?”

His eyes darted to my lips before meeting my eyes again. I would almost say the apprehension could be described as coy in this instance. He leaned in close so that his nose brushed against mine. “Kiss me?” he whispered.

I had to bite my lip to keep from breaking into a huge guilty smile. “I think I can do that.”

[jiwonsssi]

- differences, pt. 2

I hate descriptions. Just read.

characters: Eun Jiwon/'you'

warnings: swearing

A/U: i tried into drama making but since i hate drama it turned out kinda cringey so yeah enjoy and OH its long

And the next week was pretty much normal. Practices, meet ups with friends, helping your mother on her work and other typical stuff for you. You even managed to forget what happened with Jiwon earlier, because there were no time to think about it; too much is happening, and, as always, it does make you feel overwhelmed. And of course there was someone who was fascinated with the idea on how to make you life worse. Sungha didn't even try, you don't know if it was his intention; but God was he successful.

He got suddenly fucking annoying; to the point you didn't even want to see him. He asked annoying question, joked annoying jokes, touched you so annoyingly that you flinched from him everytime. Perhaps, he didn't do anything wrong (as he, himself, claims) and to be honest you are not that angry with his actions on that damned night, but.. something is wrong. You can only feel it, it's impossible to describe it or put it in words; and that's, actually, one of the main problems - you have no idea what to tell him.

And he continues to ask. Annoyingly.

You read and heard somewhere that a simple gesture of a person could easily turn you away from her or him. Apparently, that happened.

And Jiwon. Somehow you see him tragically different now. This week made you analyze so many things about him; you spent hella time together, it wasn't that hard anyway. It's not like you are ready to jump on him screaming 'oppa take me' or something. Absolutely fucking not. Yet.

Anyway, among everything, you drastically wanted to be closer to him. Friendship seems like out of this world idea, but just talking to him feels better than with anyone else. Except, maybe, your mother. But perhaps it's because they are around the same age? We (you and your common sense) choose to ignore that fact.

The other thing you want to ignore is that you are very much disappointed in the fact that he stopped being late. Just a tiny part of you were hoping for another 15 minutes spent together in total comfort of the night drive.

And today was not different; Eun Jiwon was tolerably late and all the dancers waited for him patiently.

- We need to talk, - Sungha sits down beside you and you fight an urge to roll your eyes.

- Right now? - you are annoyed without any apparent reason. It's not right. You really want to talk; you know it's a need. But at the same time it feels so impossible; you know that there would be a fight. You just want to postpone it for as long as possible.

- Yes, because any other time you run from me like crazy, - he has a point.

- I'm not, - we will not accept it anyway.

- You are! But.. not a point. What the fuck is happening? Are you still mad at me? For just one shitty night? You made it safe! - he's not screaming, more like loudly whispering but you still see people watching you. So you stand up, taking his hand and shove him out of the room, standing in front of him with your arms crossed on your chest.

Rage starts to build up unexpectedly fast and you have no idea how to stop it. You don't want to, to be honest.

- Yeah, I hope you had great time as well.

- I promised them! What could I say? 'Sorry, I need to abandon something that has been planned weeks ago'? - he has a point, he really does. Everytime. But.. you just can't think straight. Whatever he says, you would probably still blame him.

- It would have literally took you about 20 minutes. But no, you didn't even think about it; the idea that your friends can spend 30 minutes without you didn't cross your mind. But the idea of abandoning me in the middle of night - on top of all, - you articulate dramatically at this point, but who cares anyway.

- Oh, now we are playing that 'could have been done' game? C'mon, quit it, I care about you and you know it, - did it make you more angry? Because it did.

- You? Care? My ass, how many times you dropped me over some shit? Buying me stuff to make it seems like an apology is not caring about me, it's bullshit, - you put his hands that he already had on your waist down, stepping back a little.

- Uhm, it's not like I'm the one who accepts them, - it's a war declaration.

You know he is right. You know. But at the same time, who said you should always think with you brain, not, for example, with ass? It will sound stupid, but your heart already gave up on him (if it even was considering him in the first place), your head's ideas don't really suit you and other parts of you just really want to punch him.

- Oh you know what? It's better to receive at least something from you, because otherwise I might stuck with only "amazing" conversations and even worse sex. I'm not your parent to teach you how to behave when you are guilty and if you want to shower me with gifts when you can simply apologize, I'm not here to complain, - aww, who's that angry little boy? He furrows his brows, breathing heavily and you shrug your shoulders, smiling the most annoying smile you can manage.

Everyone think that you are with him because of money, so why not play along?

- Fuck that, - Sungha goes straight back to the practice room again and you feel air in your lungs hurting. If that's even possible. You have chosen him for a reason and the reason is absolutely not wealth. And now.. it's kinda weird to be sad over something that you, yourself, ruined. You did ruin it, right? And over some, indeed, tiny fucking mistake.

You will not blame yourself for this, but maybe you are allowed to be a little upset. Break ups happen and.. it's upsetting. And when the adrenaline in your veins finally calms down, you inhale deeply, trying to calm that tiny crybaby in you down.

The thing is, you absolutely can't handle it right now. Just not in the middle of this mess with everyday practices and hella tone of work in general. You want peace and comfort, not all those nerves.

It's absolutely time to get wasted. And you're have absolutely no time for that.

Coming back in, you feel particularly everyone in this room watching you and it's so fucking annoying again. Why can't they just mind their own business? Is it that hard?

But most probably the biggest problem is that right after you, a mere seconds later, Jiwon comes in and you can swear he heard everything. Everything. You groan and stomp your feet, screaming at how life hates you. Internally.

You meet his eyes once, when Jiwon greets everyone and he just smiles, nodding his head a little. Maybe he will not think of you as someone who sleeps with men for money.

Just a tiny, tiny, tiny possibility. A girl can dream, right?

Hope dies last. All that shit.

It's hard to concentrate when all you can think about is your now totally fucked up relationships; it's impossible to pretend that you don't care. You do. And not because you are scared of losing him (somehow that is the last thing you afraid of), but to break up on this conditions. You truly believe that everything can be solved through conversation (even though you are the one who became angry but does it really matter?); you won't beg him to start over, because you simply don't want to. But breaking up without hating each other sounds better than what you have now.

The practice starts and you do everything automatically. Absolutely on autopilot.

- Hey, are you with us? I'm talking to you, - of course it's time to miss main choreographer speaking directly to you, right in front of your face. What a perfect day!

- Sorry, I.. sorry, - the music is already silent and everyone are out. For a break, probably. You feel like you are on crack or something, because you totally forgot what was happening around. And how much time passed by.

- Nevermind. What I wanted to say is that you are to dance with Eun Jiwon. I hope you remember choreography for 'Tipsy', aren't you? - you badly want to close your eyes, breath and whisper 'what the fuck' but you just nod silently, then shake your head.

- But I was dancing with Sungha as backdancer, so I..

- Not anymore. I don't know what is happening between you two but this is the last time I agree on changing partners in the last moment. Understood? - again, the exact same wish. What the fuck is going on? It feels like you fell asleep in one reality and woke in another.

- Yeah. But I..

- That's it, go and grab some coffee, I don't know, you lookin awful, - she smiles in the end so you don't feel offended, but she's totally right. Nodding, you turn around to leave. Coffee. Great idea. Would be even better with whiskey.

Unsuccessfuly trying to persuade coffee machine to not to add 5 portions of sugar, you also trying your very best to persuade yourself to stop fucking whining.

- Yes, bad terms. Yes, I look like a bitch now. Yes, he's going to shit on me everywhere. Yes, probably I will lose some people. Yes, I said awful things, - talking to yourself in public place is not a great idea but who cares, - But do I need those people? And sex was really not that great.. Fuck you!

You tap with a loud sound on a coffee machine who proudly presents you extra sweet coffee. Feeling your lower lip tremble out of pure rage, you shove coffee in sink and sigh slowly.

- Please, just once, sweetie, let's do it, huh? Just for me, c'mon, - now you try to persuade the machine nicely. It works with you laptop every time, so why not?

But yeah, life is a shit and that's exactly why you hear a loud giggle from behind and.. we're not in fanfiction. It can't be him. Right?

- After talking to yourself you started to chat with coffee machine. I genuinely want to know, are you okay? - it's absolutely not the right time for Jiwon to show up out of nowhere. The awful timing. Closing your eyes, you force yourself to smile and turn around, facing him.

- Yeah, just.. it's always nice to chat with someone smart, - he smiles again, nodding and comes closer.

- That's why you were talking to coffee machine? - you look at him, standing right beside you with his kind mocking face and he smirks, celebrating his win. Hell no.

- That's why I will not talk to you, - his face changes in seconds and he's now cutely mad. You could never count him as scary old sunbae, because it's so light around him. You can't be this free with the most of the men around there because every one of them don't know how to handle pure jokes. Jiwon does everything perfectly.

- Okay then. I'll drink that tasty fresh black strong coffee with no sugar from cafe nearby all by myself, - you don't realize that he's holding two cups and you honestly forgot how to say 'thank you'. He turns around very slowly, looking you in the eyes all the way and you put on your most exaggerated charming smile.

- Oh my God, I'm so sorry, oppa, you are the smartest that I have ever met! - you would hang on his arm or something but apart him being very open and comfortable with you, it's still obvious that he's much older. Literally twice your age. That would be crossing the lines.

Jiwon pretends to think for a moment and you smile as innocent as possible and he suddenly nods, with the same exaggerated satisfaction, passing you the hot cup.

- I saw you spacing out, thought coffee will help. Must be difficult these days for you? - he just stands here, leaning with one hand on a table and he looks.. stunning. His style is perfect without trying and you can swear the color black belongs to him. And you just broke up with the boyfriend. Stop. But maybe it's his care that looks stunning, huh. Sounds lame, but.. unless?

- Yeah, I just.. - actually you have zero fucking idea on how to answer his question. He wouldn't be asking if he wasn't interested in what you are going to say. Yet you also had no intentions on showering him with your problems so you look at him, trying not to look desperate and shake your shoulders, - You heard everything, right?

He nods and you sip coffee, trying to not to burn your lips.

- I did, sorry, - he places his cup onto the table, putting both of hands in the pockets of his joggers, - You broke his self esteem, not his heart. So don't worry about sounding like a bitch.

He's actually very right. But there is something that will eat you anyway. Nice, though, that he's trying to help you. Hella weird.

- But it will eat me a couple of months anyway, - you continue to drink your coffee, staring at the material of his black tshirt, not seeing anything anyway when he speaks again.

- Your words about sex will eat him at least a couple of years. So don't worry, you won this one, - and you choke on your coffee, spitting it everywhere, trying to laugh and feel ashamed at the same time. Jiwon wipes brown drops from his upper arm that happened to be on the way of your hysteria, laughing not so loud but any way very pleasing. No need to be ashamed, apparently.

It wasn't funny. It was just so weird to hear it from him.

- I won't ever again buy you drinks, - he's laughing, hanging you tissues and taking the cup out of your hands, throwing it into the trash, - C'mon. Break must be over by now.

And he's so light, just like that. Jiwon doesn't make you talk about it further, doesn't try to get into your head with advices; he said what he wanted to say and listened to you for as much as you needed.

Does being intelligent comes with age?

You wipe your mouth, making your way after him when you get this feeling again; why does your whole life feels like a fanfiction? Of course Sungha needs to stand in the dark corner near vending machine like a fucking anime antihero.

You couldn't see him earlier, but.. Jiwon did. You look at his back, being not just surprised, but absolutely fucking stumbled. Why? He didn't do anything extra, but he could have been silent about such an intimate detail, as sex. But he wasn't. He deadass joked about it. And it led you to one thought: was he angry at him?

No way. Probably.

After looking at him for a moment, it feels like all that joy and relaxation you got from talking to Jiwon disappears in mere seconds. You feel so pressured again. You fucked it up. Again.

Sungha follows you and you feel his eyes imprinting 'you will regret this' on the back of your neck; you literally can feel it. It's funny how you have been knowing every bad thing about him and his friends and still decided to say 'yes' to this relationships. It started as a mess, and it will end the same.

Position "I will make him better" was never intended to work anyway.

Jiwon holds a door for you and you enter practice room, slightly nodding to him as 'thank you'. Even though you are going to dance so close to him; so close to the point you never knew you wanted to, you had no intention to continue this rehearsal. Not even the slightest.

And when the choreographer was talking to Jiwon about changing partners and he was actually very surprised or even when the music started to play, you had absolutely no emotions on your face. And so the troubles begin.

Of course, that made choreographer perofm a very nice thing called 'I will fucking end you if you continue to ruin my pattern' and it made you even more irritated and you forgot how many times you clumsy bumped into Eun Jiwon's limbs with yours. He helped you. A lot. Messing it up himself, sometimes. Sometimes receiving your palm slapping his chest. You didn't see even a tiny muscle changing on his face to form an angry emotion. And it's all extremely touching and his patience is made of steel when he wants it to be like that, but.. you still can't concentrate.

- You know what? I'm tired, - you hear Jiwon nag loudly, after you stepped on his foot for the third time and music stops the moment after his words, - I can't work like that.

Was you ready to cry? Because you even feel your eyes watering. You never expected him to care about you more than he already did, but he clearly saw what was happening.

Though it's only your fault. You move away from him a little, brushing your hair back and close your eyes. There are three more candidates who can do that. Not a big problem for him to change.

Jiwon moves in the direction of the woman who's now particularly burns with flames of rage and you know that you are the one they are discussing and feels so pitiful. You really wish it didn't ruin your pride.

And it's not how they talk while looking around on dancers that made you feel like shit. It's how everyone know that you were declined and that it's absolutely your fault; and they feel like it's prior duty to stare at you so.. contemptuously. Everyone have their bad days. Yours just happen to be today. It doesn't make you worse or better, but it's hard to persuade yourself to think like that because you are already digging yourself in.

And his rejection is actually making it hundred times worse.

- So, I wanted to say that I'm extremely tired and that's it for today, - Jiwon stands in the centre of the room, looking at you all with such a sincere sorrow. You title your head, frowning. What the fuck? - I know that it's still a long way to go, but let's have an evening off today. We all are doing great and I am very thankful for all the hard work you do for me, - he speaks so.. slowly and thoughtfully. Like he really means it. It's nice, - And besides, I'm not getting younger so I need to rest. Let's pretend it's not the main reason, - you catch your 'what the fuck' expression in the mirror and he laughs, continue to talk like only he can. You have no idea how to explain that. It just hits differently, - So let's go, run faster until our very scary choreographer didn't change her mind. Go!

He claps his hands, bowing a little and continue to stand where he is, scrolling through his phone after politely saying bye to everyone who was addressing him. You don't move even a bit because now you feel like it's your prior duty to hail him. Of course people will know the truth, but he at least made an attempt to make it seems like it wasn't your fault.

You don't know how to feel about that. You really don't.

He stares at his phone and you wait until all the people are gone, clearing your throat to make him notice you.

- Shit, you scared me. I was ready to call you, - you title your head again, because what is wrong with him. He walks to the door, opening it for you again. What the..

- I am confused, but I still will say what I wanted to, - you come closer, letting the door shut and now it's his turn to be surprised because you just realized that you have a face that says 'I'm about to beat you up'. And you are not, - I wanted to say sorry for my work. I did a lot of mistakes. And I will understand if you are going to change me for someone else. I am truly sorry. And also I want to say thank you for what you did. It was.. great. Thank you.

Lowering you head, you look at his sneakers and sigh loudly.

- Look, I understand everything. I know what you are capable of and I will not judge you now, - he does it again. Sounds so mature. Reassuring. Calming. His voice is low and manly suddenly and you feel goosebumps running wild on your skin and you finally look at him, smiling, - But if you hit me one more time..

He pokes a finger at you and you laugh, murmuring short 'sorry' again, hearing how he chuckles softly. He's not mad. At all. You are so used to bullshit out of everything that when people actually treat each other like human beings it makes you lost.

- Okay. Remember when I told you I am not going to buy you drinks? - he looks at you mischievously and you nod slowly, making that "the fuck" face, - Lies. I will.

Now it's time to make that 'so...?' face and you do exactly it.

- Do you.. drink? - is he trying to ask you.. out? Like, is it.. no, it can't be real. It's ridiculous. No. Unless?

- I.. do, - the whole conversation sounds like two very slow idiots are trying to decide on something.

- So.. Me too, - you can't help but laugh shortly looking at his expression and then come back to the 'idiots' performance.

- That's... Nice. That we two drink, - you nod, trying your best to not to laugh again and he does exactly same. Hilarious to watch.

- So shall we.. do it together? - he stumbles for a moment then rolls his eyes and then smile, waving his hand in the air, - What I wanted to say is that I want you to relax and I don't know a better way than to drink. So let's go.

You know one that's better than drinking. But let's say he won't understand if you say it out loud.

Finally you just nod, exiting the room first.

This day is a fucking roller coaster.

[radamazard]

But I’m Weak

What was so wrong with being weak? Not everyone could be ridiculously strong after all.

Nino had always struggled with the extremes of being okay with who he was and what he felt the world wanted him to be. But he never thought that he’d have to feel that way with Alya…

————————————————————————

Nino bit back a sigh, arms crossed over his chest as he listened to Alya drone on and on like a CD that had gotten scratched and played a single sound on repeat for eternity. It wasn’t that he particularly hated listening to her rant. Heck, it was normally pretty inspiring. His girlfriend had passions that burned brighter than Paris itself and he greatly admired that.

But he wasn’t exactly a fan of some of her opinions when it came to… certain topics.

“It’s just- he’s so WEAK, Nino! Like, you’re facing LITERAL Satan here. I don’t think a friendship speech is gonna bring this bitch down. Sometimes you just have to let your fists do the talking, you can’t just…”

Weak. There was such a negative view on that word. To be weak was somehow seen as lesser, as though being unable to fight back was a particularly bad thing. Strength was so ridiculously glorified that it was honestly exhausting to constantly hear about it.

Sure, it was good to be able to defend yourself and fight back if shit went south, there was no arguing that. But what was wrong with wanting to be peaceful? With not wanting to be the one to deliver that first blow?

Nino himself had never been much of a fighter, and he knew he probably never would be. Outside of defending those he loved and cared about, being skilled at knocking someone’s block off just wasn’t his thing. Nor did he really want it to be. That’s what they had the rest of the heroes for, right?

Though he had decked Hawkmoth with his shield that one time….

To be fair, the man had DEFINITELY deserved it.

“- don’t even get me started on his moral fibre. This bitch has the backbone of a liquified jellyfish. ‘Oh, you’re sad about your mean step dad? Sure, we’ll go take him out for ya, it’s not like you spent THREE seasons trying to murder our asses and slaughtering LITERAL CHILDREN. We totally forgive you!’ Like, miss me with that garbage, you just have a weak ass moral code!”

Maybe Alya’s example there wasn’t all that great. But what was wrong with offering people second chances? Not everyone managed to start off as a good person. Not everyone could say their past was clean and that they’d always done their best to be the kindest or best versions of themselves.

Perhaps that one hit hard because Nino knew he hadn’t always been the person he was now.

Once he’d been bitter, been a quiet loner who kept to himself and didn’t bother to help those around him.

Once he hadn’t tried to see the good in others, hadn’t been a person much worthy of friendship.

Once he’d ignored bullies so he’d be left alone, had ignored when people were sad and had brushed off any attempts at friendship people had made.

It wasn’t easy, thinking back to the person he’d once been, who’d been so disillusioned with the world that he’d chose to use music to block it all out, to block everyone out. Of course that had changed when he had met Adrien. The guy was loyal and kind and had clearly been rather lonely, stuck with only Chloé as a friend and alienated by the rest of the class. Perhaps Nino had seen a little of himself in him? Being alone and not knowing how to really make connections. So he’d made an effort, and Adrien and him had been inseparable since.

Not only that, but those that had known him before, that he’d shrugged off or coldly ignored, had welcomed him with open arms. There had been no judgements for his past self, no need to prove himself. They’d simply accepted him with kindness.

How could that kind of forgiveness and empathy be so bad? Why was a weakness in holding a grudge seen as something negative?

“... and you know what? Here’s what frustrates me the most. I know it’s stupid, okay? But just let me rant here,” Alya continued on and Nino barely held back a snort.

“I can take him being a friendship babbler who always tries to talk down the villains. It’s corny, but whatever, it’s anime. I can take him inviting the baddie into the team. It’s a popular trope, I know, and people LOVE seeing the asshole redeemed. But you know what I CAN’T take?” she asked, her lips pursed in a tight and her brows knitted tighter still that he almost feared she’d bust a vein.

“Nope. Gonna have to enlighten me here, babe.”

There was beat of silence, done obviously for dramatic effect that had Nino rolling his eyes in an annoyance that had been slowly building since the beginning of this whole rant.

“The romance. It’s HORRIBLE. There’s nothing worse in a romance story than an unlikable romance,” Alya stated. “He’s so ridiculously weak when it comes to her! It’s pathetic and really, really painful to watch. How that’s anyone’s OTP I’ll never understand. It’s not sweet. It’s not cute. It’s just… sad.”

Ah. There it was. The part he’d been waiting for and dreaded hearing the most.

Because he could understand being frustrated with a pacifist. In a life or death situation you often had to act and act fast. Failing to do so meant the loss of life, and no one could root for that.

He could get why wanting the asshole to have a happy ending was annoying. Not everyone was redeemable and some assholes really didn’t deserve that kindness. Assholes like Hawkmoth, for instance.

But to rant with a flaring passion about how pathetic being weak when in love was? That really stung. It stung because he knew, without a doubt, that he was EXACTLY like that. Nino knew that love made him weak, in so many senses of the word.

It made him weak in the knees everytime Alya smiled at him, like somehow he was all she needed to brighten her day.

His breath weakened whenever she kissed him, her lips sweeter than any confection he had ever tasted.

When those pretty pools of toupe drifted over to him, and Nino could swear in those moments that he was witnessing the sun itself rising in those eyes that hypnotised him with such ease… his heart would skip a beat so dramatically he feared it would become weakened the process.

Not to mention how completely and utterly weak he was to her in general. How Alya’s laugh had him melting, how every little ‘I love you’ had Nino drifting off to his own personal heaven. How he couldn’t hope to say no to her when she came to him with excitement glowing, shimmering from each and every pore.

He adored her to the point of ridiculousness. To the point of weakness.

Was that so wrong? To love someone so dearly that it made you feel weak and defenseless, yet in all the right ways? As though you could afford to be that way, to push away the fears and insecurities to love wholeheartedly.

Why was that a bad thing?

Minutes passed as he dwelt on this, and Nino didn’t even notice how deep in thought he’d been until he felt his girlfriend poking his nose.

“Earth to Nino. You alright there, babe? You’re frowning hard. I mean really hard. Harder than when we saw that sci-fi flick last week,” Alya attempted to joke, although the concern was etched clearly into her features.

“The ending totally ruined the whole dystopian aesthetic they were goin’ for and was a lazy ass ass pull…” Nino muttered, his gaze dropping down to his lap. Yet even with his eyes off her, he could still feel her concern for him, could still feel her eyes on him, worried.

“But that’s not what’s bothering you now, right?”

His head shook and Alya shuffled closer, laying a hand over his clenched fists. Funny, how hadn’t he noticed he was doing that until now?

“... No.”

“Do you wanna talk about it? I think I used up more than my allotted chunk of words for the week, so I’m all ears,” Alya ushered, her voice so gentle and warm that Nino almost felt guilty for his own shit storm of feelings. Here he was, making her worry over a god damned anime rant. What kind of boyfriend was he?

“It’s… It’s dumb.”

“If it’s upsetting you then it isn’t dumb. I cried over burnt fries last week, remember? And you promised that shit wasn’t dumb.”

A weak chuckle escaped Nino’s lips, despite the swirl of negativity that still twisted harshly from deep within him.

“True, but I don’t have the excuse of my body throwin’ a fit over not having kids once a month and messin’ with my emotions,” Nino retorted, to which he earned himself a soft flick to the back of his hand.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to get upset over that kind of stuff too. You wouldn’t let Adrien call his emotions dumb, would you?” A slow shake of her boyfriend’s head told her she’d won, and Alya had to really fight to keep the smug smile from her face. No, that would only make things worse right now.

“Nah. Of course I wouldn’t…” Nino muttered. “So I guess you’re gonna keep this up until I spill, huh?”

“Yep. So you better hurry up and talk, babe. Because I’ve got aaaaall day and nothing more important to do than listen to you.”

Ah, there she went, saying stuff like that so casually that it made him feel absolutely cruddy about making her worry in the first place. But Nino knew his girlfriend well, and Alya was a woman of staggering determination. If she wanted an answer, she nearly always get it.

So it was with a sigh that Nino finally gave in.

“... I’m weak, Als,” he admitted, in a voice so quiet and small that Alya had to lean in to properly hear it. “I’m not a fighter or strong. I believe in givin’ assholes second chances. Heck, I was one of them! And I…”

There was beat of silence, as Nino lifted his gaze and distressed gold fell upon Alya’s face.

“I’m weak to YOU. You make me weak each an’ every time we’re together, babe. I’m pretty much a living, breathing example of all that crap you hate. I- It makes me…” Nino trailed off, as the realisation of just why he’d been so hurt by her words dawned upon him.

“... It makes me wonder if you hate all that in me. If you hate those parts of me. That you…” That she no longer loved him. That was what he truly feared. Because if she hated those parts that he resounded so strongly with, didn’t it also make sense that she’d fallen out of love with him?

That maybe Alya had just stayed out of pity? Or because she was too nice and didn’t want to break his heart, even if she longed for someone far better than him, someone far stronger?

“... You might not love me anymore?” Nino finished in a broken whisper.

He hadn’t even realised he was crying until he felt Alya’s hand upon his cheek, tenderly brushing his tears away with the pad of her thumb.

“Nino…” she whispered, with such a guilt ridden sadness that only made him cry more. “Is that what you really think? That I secretly hate you? You, my wonderful, gorgeous, kind, loyal, selfless, adorable, brilliant, dorkishly amazing boyfriend?”

There was no judgement in her voice, no teasing or sarcasm or snark. Only a lulling sincerity as she pulled Nino into her arms and held him tight as his silent sobs soaked her shoulder.

“I could never hate you. I don’t need you to be some amazingly kick ass hero with muscles like Chat Noir or a killer left hook like Ladybug. You’re already amazingly brave and courageous… Not everyone needs to be a fighter and you’re the protector this city needs. That I love,” Alya said, her voice gently firm and flooded with a love so warm that it only served to make Nino cry harder.

“I never knew you back when you were an ‘asshole’. I only got to meet you when Adrien did, and the Nino I’ve always known has been the warmest person that I’ve ever been lucky enough to meet. But even if you were an asshole before, that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of friends. I… sorry if I gave you the impression that I thought that about everyone. You know I hold grudges and that’s a me thing I have to work on, not a you thing, okay?” She felt Nino nod weakly in her arms, and in turn Alya pressed a feather light kiss to the crown of his head.

“... And I- … I wasn’t talking about weakness like that. Nibuimaru lets Sonshōko beat the living shit out of him without a single complaint! He doesn’t even seem upset by it. It’s like for him, that’s how chicks are. And it’s played for laughs that’s it’s all cute and that kind of stupid shit, like ‘aww, look how weak she makes him!’. That’s not cute. That’s a weak ass relationship based on abuse,” Alya stated, only pausing to hold Nino just that bit tighter or as she felt the shakes of his sobs rock her. It was honestly heart breaking, to know that her ridiculous rant about some shitty anime Adrien had recommended had caused him so much pain and doubt.

“I’m just as weak for you as you are for me. You know that, right? And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s real cute how smitten you are with me, and those stupidly love sick puppy looks you send my way… They make my heart flutter and my stomach does flips like Ladybug on a sugar high… I could never hate that. I could never hate you, Nino,” she whispered, and her aching heart clenched as Nino finally looked up at her, glasses smudged from all the crying, cheeks tears and eyes all red and puffy. What was worse was that desperately hopeful look in his eyes, as though he had truly feared that she no longer loved him and he was clinging to her every word.

…. For how long had these thoughts been kicking around in the back of his mind? Alya didn’t know, nor did she care. Because from this moment on she swore she’d make Nino feel every bit as loved as he had for her, as he continued to do each and every day, even when he was feeling cruddy.

Never again would he have to doubt that really loved him.

“I love you. I love you so GOD DAMNED much, okay? I’m sorry I had you doubting that…” Alya finished, and before she could even hope to verbalise her promise Nino’s lips were against hers in a wet and desperate kiss. It was one she returned full heartedly, pouring every ounce of love and affection she held for the guy in her arms into it, just hoping it would reach him and somehow ease his fears and pains if her words had failed to.

It was minutes later when Nino broke away, a damp yet genuine smile now pulling at his lips, that Alya finally felt that things might be alright between them once more.

“I love ya too, Alya. So freakin’ much,” Nino rasped on out, as Alya pulled him back on into her all encompassing embrace. “You… You really meant all that?”

“Every word of it. So you’re weak. Who cares? I don’t need some macho, masculinely fragile, eternally perfect meathead. You’re everything I want and need, babe. I promise that.”

His heart fluttered with joy and he practically melted into Alya’s arms. In that moment, even if it would take a while to fully squash his doubts, he felt safe.

He was weak. What was wrong with that?

Nothing, Nino thought. Nothing at all.

[douxreviews]

Outlander - ‘Man of Worth’ Review

"You dinna ken how worthy you are."

If I'm very very quiet, I swear I can hear the collective Outlander fandom starting to panic as droughtlander sets in.

I'm not mad at this finale. Not one bit. It may not have been as epic in scale as some others but it tied some things up and set some things up and delivered some exceptionally beautiful moments. I cant really imagine a better end for the season we got. Plus I now know exactly how I feel about Roger. Wins all around.

I haven't gone into it yet because I'm not sure how historically accurate it is but who ever was in charge of set design for the Mohawk village should get a raise just based on how beautiful it is. Everytime we're there I am taken aback by both the details and scale. Too bad we probably won't be seeing it for a while, if ever again.

How sad for Otter Tooth that he traveled all the way back in time to deliever a warning that he thought would save a people and a culture and they didn't even believe him. I mean, I'm not saying that running around inciting war dances and shoving scalps in peoples faces was the tact he should have taken but man. He and Geillis should start a a club in the afterlife. Maybe they already have.

The raid was an outright disaster and from what we know of people shunned by their tribes, the Native American woman that helped them isn't going to have a very happy life. I felt like Claire and Jamie should've offered for her to come back to the ridge. Or at least let her have the stone she was so desperate for. But hey, maybe they looked for her off camera and she was too good at hide and seek to be found.

The fight to get back to the river was exciting. It had me on the edge of my seat while Jamie's skill as a warrior and fighter kicked in Claire took down whoever got in her path (all while practically carrying Roger's useless body, but whatever). But it was for naught. They were severely outnumbered and surrounded and out of options. I find it hard to swallow that the Mohawk would hold on to Roger so stubbornly since he spent so much time disappointing them but can we give that Chief some kind of award for the amazing deal he struck for himself. He traded an injured fourth string nobody for an all-star that got through the spirit tunnel on his first try. Wow. Bargain master of the year.

I've stayed pretty on the fence with Ian. I liked him, I laughed at how naive and adorable he was. I even like his dog. But he was expendable as far as I was concerned. Then he traded himself to save Roger so that his uncle wouldn't have to. He even refused to run away and begged Jamie not to make him a liar. He stayed determined to honor his word and got himself expended and suddenly I miss him. Jamie is right. He really is a man worth very much. I suppose it would be silly to expect anything less. Ian has spent most of his life looking up to and emulating one of the most honorable people to exist. Of course he would have it coming out of his ears and his admiration for Native Americans has been set up from the jump. Out of everyone he could make a place for himself here. He found his clan. The whole goodbye amalgation ripped my guts out, Claire. Ian and Claire, Ian and Jamie. Even the fakeout Claire and Jamie goodbye was well done even though I was pretty sure what Ian was going to do from the second he decided it. You could feel that patented Jamie and Claire fire between them. It was beautiful and romantic and full of anguish and thankfully short lived. The emotional strikes just kept coming. Very well done all around. But that look of elation when Ian was accepted as a mohawk was worth the price of admission. He was so so happy. So I'm happy for him. It's as close to a happy ending as any other character has gotten.

Bye, Ian. I'll miss you more than I thought. Come visit soon.

And the there's Roger. I'm happy for Bree and all but I feel like she could do better. Way better. It's like when your friend gets together with their ex for the 300th time... Fine, I accept this. I knew it was coming but it's still very dumb. It's not that he's a bad person or that he hasn't been through a terrible ordeal. And hey, he did show up fir her at that the end. He's just such a whiner. He didn't even seem particularly grateful to be saved. Just slumped over and rolling his eyes and helping not at all during the attempted escape to the river but then had buckets of energy to throw into his fists at Jamie. And during his tantrum, he took no responsibility for leaving Bree alone in the freaking 18th century and only seemed to show emotion about it when he realized he couldn't cart her back through the stones to yell at her some more. Give it a rest, Rog everyone has been through terrible things. Hell, as far as Roger knows Ian just put his life in the hands of men that will be kicking the crap out of him for no reason for the rest of his life. He couldn't even mutter a 'thanks, bro'??

Bree was attacked by Bonnet? OMG, he totally forced me to sail up the coast with him. Guys a monster!!

I did very much like all the character beats sprinkled throughout that confrontation in the woods. Jamie took everything that Roger dished out because he was wrong for beating him in the first place but he wasn't so sorry that he could hide his anger that Roger didn't stick around to protect his daughter from Bonnet. It was written all over Claire's face that she was desperate for him to be the kind of husband for her daughter that Jamie is but was trying very hard to be understanding and calm.

While Ian was busy becoming a man and Roger was busy deciding what kind of man he wants to be, Murtagh and Jocasta had a slumber party. Possibly manh. The writers have been pandering to an eventual coupling since these two got on screen together and I am here for it. They did the whole thing so well, too. Even though I been waiting for them to get together i was still somehow taken by surprise when it happened. I love love love them together so much. Both opinionated and stubborn and crotchety and passionate. I loved every second of it. I loved that neither one would back down even though their words were obviously hitting nerves left and right. And the whole thing was bookended by food. At the start, they were sharing dinner and the next thing I know, hes asking her to skip breakfast. It felt like a glimpse of a domesticated life that Murtagh could've had. Or maybe symbolic of the life that Jocasta is putting in jeopardy. Or maybe they were just meals and I am seriously over reaching. It wouldn't be a finale review if I didn't make at least one mountain out of a molehill.

As Outlander finales go, this was tame as a kitten. Sure Jamie's been put in charge of getting rid of his godfather but investing in even the idea that anything could ever truly come between them is laughable. Their loyalty has been tested worse than this. It just wouldn't be believable to me for that bond to fall apart now. And now that Aunt Jocasta is on board (I think?) the rest should be cake.

It hit the beats I needed it to. There have been stronger finales to be sure but I don't how this particular season could've been tied up better. 

3.5 out of 4 ominous stone necklaces.

Bits and pieces

Jamie's instincts are still so keen that he can feel the presence of other people in the woods. Once an outlaw...

Do we understand why Otter Tooth helped Claire find Jamie after that storm earlier in the season? Are they cosmically connected?

I felt a pang of sadness for the time. Ian keeps racking up people that he will probably never see again or ever get to say goodbye to. His parents, siblings, Fergus, Murtagh, Bree. It's practically never ending. He did get to say goodbye to Jamie and Claire though.

Where did Ian get the Mohawk version of Rosetta Stone??

I wonder if I will view Ian differently when I inevitable rewatch these past seasons he was in given my new found respect and love for the character.

I wonder if Father Alexander participated in the spirit tunnel??

All Roger and Bree do is flirt and argue and somehow I hate them for it. So far Murtagh and Jocasta have followed their example but somehow I'm fully on board. What gives??

Oh, and Bree had her baby. I wonder who his godfather will be. Who is Germain's for that matter??

Murtagh certainly has a type. As far as we know hes only been serious about two people in his life. Sisters that heavily favor each other. Interesting.

I was bumming a little that we didn't get to see Jamie's relief and reaction to the knowledge that Bree forgave him. But it kind of all read in the reunion. There was an ease to the family dynamic even though crap news was getting delivered.

No Fergus. No Marsali. Did they make it to the ridge? Is the pig still alive? Is Fergus a wanted man?

Murtagh: "Thank you for the roast. It's been a long time since I had a meal this fine. " Jocasta: "I imagine it's better than whatever they were serving in the jail at Wilmington." Murtagh: "News travels fast." HA.

Jamie: "I will come back to you Sassenach."

Ian: "You once said you wished me to become a man of worth." Jamie: "You dinna ken how worthy you are." I'm not crying, you're crying.

Jocasta: "How does it taste?" Murtagh: "Like home." Jocasta: "Whiskeys hard to come by in the new world." Murtagh: "Aye and I canna drink that horse phish they call rum." Hahahaha.

Jocasta: "I'm an old woman now, my wars are behind me and you should put yours behind you as well."

Roger: "Having me beaten almost to death and sold into slavery seemed a trifle extreme even for a woman with her temper."

Jamie: "You cost me a lad that I love and my daughter doesn't need a coward. I'd rather her hate me than for you to break her heart again. So make up your mind." Roger: "I need some time." Claire: "If you need time you should take it because this is our daughter so you better be sure." Would you rather face Jamie and Claire or a tribe of angry Mohawk Native Americans???

Laure Mack

[yuhenglesbian]

Sky Full of Stars

Pairing: Fan Chengcheng x Reader

Requested by: None, I’m just a sucker for this boy

Genre: Fluff (? I think?) + a little Angst

Word Count: 1,646

A/N: I’ve been thinking of this for the longest time– like for about two weeks. I’m a shameless lover of Chengcheng’s beauty spots and how they are literally everywhere and I honestly want to fight him because he hides ALL T H I R T E E N of them. And I’m sure he hides more but can’t see inside his clothes so I can’t tell. Which is why we have this fic even though ideally I should work on the requests I’ve received (and I am, I swear I’ll post those after 1st May because my exams end that day yay)

Also idk if these fit but Trigger Warnings for hinted body and self esteem issues. 

Chengcheng hated his moles. He hated how they were almost all over his face and his neck– like specks of paint on a plain T-shirt. He hated it. Ever since he was a child, he couldn’t help but compare his mole studded skin to his older sister’s almost clear skin.

It got worse once he started as a trainee under Yuehua Entertainment and met other trainees. Everyone was so beautiful to him, like sunshine from sheer curtains and like the mornings after it had rained and sunrises. Beautiful in ways, he couldn’t ever see himself fitting into despite what his mother and sister constantly told him.

He couldn’t see himself as beautiful. Especially not with all those moles. So he hid them every time he had to train; very few people apart from his mother and sister knew he even had more than the moles on the base of his neck. Justin knew because they were roommates. Zhengting had found out when he walked in on Chengcheng going through the mechanisms of covering them. Wenjun, Zeren, Quanzhe and Xinchun had found out on a particularly hot day when he’d decided it was too hot for concealer and for a shirt while they were practicing.

You knew because he’d told you. You’d been the only person he’d voluntarily told about the moles. When you’d seen them for the first time, you’d touched each of them gently with your fingers as if connecting lines and he’d looked at you confused and afraid; waiting for you to confirm his worst feelings and tell him you thought they were ugly.

“They’re not moles, Fu Xixi,” you’d said instead, “they’re beauty marks. They just prove how beautiful you are because you have so many.”

While he didn’t fully truly believe that, he knew he hadn’t loved anyone– even you– as much as he loved you at that moment. He doubted if he would ever love someone as much as he loved you then.

“Thank you,” he’d responded, voice so low you wouldn’t have heard him if you had been even a breath farther. “Thank you for loving me.”

You’d smiled then, your heart aching because you could feel how much he was afraid even until this moment. You didn’t have words for him; you’d simply stood on your tiptoes and kissed his jaw right where his beauty mark was. “Thank you for letting me love you,” you whispered into his ear.

***

One of your favourite things to do was to trace your fingers along Chengcheng’s skin, connecting all the beauty marks that studded his skin, creating invisible, unnamed constellations on his skin. Sometimes, on mornings when you woke up before him– which was rare because he had practice– you’d lie quietly next to him doing nothing but trailing your finger across his skin as he slept.

You had been mildly surprised to find out that the beauty marks didn’t stop at the base of his neck where the twin marks were the most prominent. His entire body was full of them and you loved it– loved how almost every inch of his skin was covered with them almost as much as he seemed to hate them in spite of how many times you’d told him.

“They’re not beautiful,” he’d say on some of his worst days. “I’m not beautiful. You’re probably the only person who thinks I’m beautiful without all this makeup. I’d probably be the ugliest trainee on Idol Producer if the fans found out– that’s how ugly I am.”

You’d have to wait for the worst of storm to pass before you could move closer and hold him close to you while he let out all the pent up frustration and self-hatred. It would seem worse every time he came back home to his family when he got breaks in between the shooting for Idol Producer. You kept up with the show and you could see how he hid even the ones on the base of his neck– making it a point to wear only high-necked shirts and turtlenecks whenever he could.

So you couldn’t help but be relieved once he had returned home– regardless of how short his time back home was. You’d stay over at his house for as long as he stayed; the Fan household was always glad to have you staying with them– especially his mother who often joked that you were the only one who could convince him about something when he was going through one of his bad days.

You’d spend the nights in Chengcheng’s room, most of the time neither of you did anything. He’d be too tired to even talk on the nights he came back from the shootings– he’d fall asleep the minute he had gotten comfortable enough. Sometimes, you’d lie next to him and fill him on what he’d missed while he was gone while he slowly but surely, fell asleep. You couldn’t help but smile whenever you noticed how he fell asleep– an arm almost always around you, his bare chest against your shoulder, no makeup hiding his marks. Occasionally, when his face was close enough, you’d kiss that one small beauty mark near his left eye which especially didn’t get to make even accidental appearances when he was on camera– except for that one time it had and had gone virtually unnoticed by everyone.

It would always be too easy to fall asleep when he was sleeping peacefully next to you. Almost too easy especially when you wanted only to stay awake a little longer and run your fingers on his skin, feeling the almost imperceptible bumps the beauty marks created, making them easy to find even in the darkness of the room. But you’d never manage more than once– if at all– before you fell asleep to the comfort of how close he was and to how gentle and rhythmic his breathing was.

***

It was one of those nights when neither of you could fall asleep that found your fingers touching Chengcheng’s skin, counting all the beauty marks he had while he closed his eyes distracting himself from everything but the sound of your voice as you whispered all the counting.

It was moments until he finally spoke. “Y/N.”

“Hmm?” you whispered, your fingers on his jaw, tracing along the skin to the two beauty marks on his ear to the many on the side of his neck which was exposed as he faced you in the dark and tracing back to the on single one on the side of his jaw.

He raised his hand to cup yours, stopping the rhythmic movement of your fingers. “Why do you even love me?” he asked and the quiver in his voice wasn’t something you could miss especially at the closeness– it was almost tangible in the darkness of the room.

So tangible you have to get up a little so to look at him in the eye. “What?”

He looks up at you and you can tell he’s having one of those nights where he questions everything he’s ever done and everything that anyone’s ever said to him. “What sort of question is that, Fan Chengcheng?” you ask him quietly. “Is everything okay?”

And he shakes his head but he answers yes. “It’s just,” he sighs as you lay down next to him again, hand on his cheeks cupping his face, “you knew all of us– like all of us who’re on the show– but when I asked you out you agreed.”

“Because I liked you.”

“Why would you?” he asks. “I’m not Zhengting or Xinchun or Wenjun or–”

“You’re not,” you agree. “You’re not the same as them, you’re not like them.”

He looks at you confused. “Then why? If you agree, then you know how amazing they are– they’re like the sun and then there’s me. How can you like me?”

“Because you’re like stars, Chengcheng,” you tell him. “You aren’t the sun. You’re too mellowed for that– you don’t shine to daze everyone. You’re not beautiful like them.”

He’s quiet for a long time before you speak again. “You’re beautiful in your own way, Chengcheng– like how the night sky is beautiful. You’re the night sky and I love you.” “I’m… the night sky?”

You nod and run your fingers along his skin, connecting each of his beauty marks with invisible lines without looking away from his face. It’s moments until your fingers reach his face to the mole under his left eye and his gaze flickers from your face to the finger touching that mark before he looks at you again, his eyes questioning.

“Everytime I see you, I have to stop to remind myself to breathe because when I look at you– with all the beauty marks that you hide away all the time–it’s like looking at a sky filled with galaxies and constellations. Except I can touch these stars. I can hold the galaxies close and trace the constellations along their paths. I can kiss these stars.”

You move closer and kiss the beauty mark under his eye and you can feel his eyelashes flutter shut against your skin. “And that’s why, to me, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met or will ever meet.”

You move away only for him to move closer and bury his face in the crook of your neck and plant kisses. “I love you so much, Y/N,” he whispers over and over between kisses. “I love you.” You wrap your arms around him and bury your fingers in his hair, holding him against you. “I love you too,” you tell him.

It’s not long until he falls asleep, face still buried in your neck, holding you in a hug. You smile once you can hear his breathing turn rhythmic. You close your eyes listening for a while until sleep overcomes you as well.

Link to part 2 (of sorts)

[nocteverbascio]

that one high school au - alex/lucy (rated t)

Pairing: Alex Danvers/Lucy Lane Summary: Alex is terrible at emotions and this thing with Lucy Lane has been going on way too long - a story about enemies to friends to lovers A/N: a mini series of random ships in a high school au - all the girls are queer on different levels

ao3 link

Alex isn’t good at emotions. She’s never been good at them. Sure she liked the attention from boys and such because she thought that’s how it was supposed to go. She thought she’d find the cutest guy and be his girlfriend, but honestly the three guys that she’s been with were just missing something.

Funny enough drinking shitty Coors Light in the back of Sara’s dad’s pick up truck made her realize that those lingering stares at girls who raised their hands in class or girls walking down the halls were more than just stares. Sara climbing on her lap, playing with her hair, and kissing her confirmed it.

It scared the crap out of her.

They almost weren’t best friends anymore because not only was Sara in a relationship with Ollie at the time, but because Alex really liked kissing Sara, but she didn’t like Sara like that. Which was all the more confusing.

Then at the beginning of the school year, Alex comes home pissed with a black eye and two sprained fingers.

“Alex, calm down!” Kara rushes after her through the door.

“No, I fucking won’t!” Alex cries out as she stomps through the house. She rips her backpack off her and throws it at the corner of the couch that it knocks down the photo frame sitting at the end table with a crash.

“Alex, I don’t get why you’re so mad!” Kara says shutting the door after her. “She’s not all that bad.”

Of course, it’s also the one day that Eliza is actually home from the lab. They run into her as they pass the dining room.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Kara?” Alex yells angrily. She tries to ball her fists but her right hand hurts from where her ring and pinky finger are sprained. “I have a black eye because of her!”

“Hey! What’s going on?” Eliza steps in between the two girls. “Alex, what happened?” She goes to Alex and cups her face to look at the nasty bruise on her right eye. “Who did this to you?”

Alex goes quiet at this. Her face is still red and she’s shaking with anger and frustration. She feels ridiculously hurt and she doesn’t even know why. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she grumbles angrily.

“One of the girls spiked the ball into her face during gym class,” Kara answers for Alex.

Alex looks over Eliza’s shoulder to shoot a glare at Kara.

“Was it on purpose?” Eliza asks with concerned, looking at Kara for an honest answer if Alex wasn’t going to talk.

“No!” Kara defends. “Of course it wasn’t.”

“Of course it was!” Alex argues, this time her voice cracks. “You saw all of them, you can’t say that wasn’t a fucking set up!”

Eliza shoots a confused look at her daughter. “Alex, you need to calm down.”

Alex opens her mouth to yell some more but her bottom lip quivers and she shuts her mouth. The emotions that have been stirring have been affecting her for awhile now and she can start to feel the tears stinging her eyes.

“They laughed at her,” Kara says with disappointment. Eliza wraps her arm defensively around Alex’s shoulder before staring at Kara to continue. “The girls on the cheerleading squad were on the other team and after the ball hit Alex’s face they all laughed at her. Some of them said she had it coming.”

Alex clenches her jaw.

Eliza looks at her daughter, but Alex just looks away. “Did they say anything else?”

“No! Lucy told them to stop laughing at her,” Kara defends, “which is what I was trying to tell you, Alex! She didn’t mean to hit you in the face.”

Alex doesn’t have any of it. She doesn’t want to hear it anymore. She can feel her throat close up from wanting to cry and she steps out of her mother’s grasp to run upstairs. When she gets in her room, she can’t help feeling the overwhelming emotion and slams her door shut behind her. She wants to scream and throw more things, but she’s too rational to do so and instead she climbs into her bed, grabbing her panda pillow pet to hug as she sits on her bed willing herself not to cry.

All she can think about is that stupid cocky smile on Lucy Lane’s face whenever they pass each other in the hallways or when she answers a question over Alex or corrects Alex in front of everyone. It makes Alex shake inside whenever she sees Lucy and her perfectly fit body and beautifully tan faced and gorgeously wavy short hair. Everyone loves Lucy and it pisses Alex off because she’s so annoyed by her. Lucy has everything, why does she feel the need to compete with her so goddamn much?

The tears welling in her eyes start to burn and they fall when she can’t bear to keep her eyes open any longer. But she quickly wipes them away, bringing her knees to her chest to pin the panda against her chest.

There’s a soft knock on her door and Alex wipes her eyes faster in case it’s Kara. The door opens slowly and her mother peers into the room.

Alex isn’t sure she wants to talk if she’s just going to get yelled at.

Eliza comes in with a glass of water in her hand, slowly shutting the door behind her. She approaches Alex carefully and takes a seat on the bed beside her. She doesn’t say anything as she hands her the water.

Alex swallows, feeling her throat scratchy and takes the glass thankfully. She’s still curled up as her mom sits next to her. “Are you going to yell at me?”

Eliza looks at her daughter sadly. There’s an indiscernible look on her face. “I’m not going to yell at you,” she says wrapping her arm around Alex’s shoulder to comfort her. “Although, you have to apologize for swearing at Kara. You know, she’s sensitive to that.”

Alex leans in, letting herself get comfortable. It’s been a long time since she’s felt like she’s needed her mother since her father died. They grew apart...but she wants her mom for once. She doesn’t say anything though.

It takes a moment, but Eliza finally speaks again, “Do you want to tell me about this Lucy?”

Alex shuts her eyes at the mention of Lucy and she drops her head onto her mother’s shoulder tiredly. “I don’t wanna.”

Eliza hums quietly and rubs Alex’s shoulder.

Alex lets out a shuddering breath though. “She’s just this girl in school that’s been competing with me since freshman year. She’s on the cheerleading squad, but she’s surprisingly ridiculously smart. You think I’m smart, but she can keep up, so she’s in almost all of my classes. She’s annoyingly good at everything and likes to get in my way to prove it.”

Eliza hums again, this time lighter. “How come I’m only hearing about this now?” There’s a smile in her voice that catches Alex’s attention.

Alex picks up her head and takes another drink of water, trying to get some distance, suddenly feeling self conscious. She uses that moment to collect herself. “It’s just gotten worse this year. We are both in the running for valedictorian, prepping for PSATs, and choosing colleges.” She picks at the little hairs of her pillow. “I don’t know, she’s just--I feel like I see her all the time and everytime I see her I get so mad.”

“Is she picking on you?”

Alex shakes her head. “No, she’s--she just makes all these stupid comments about who is going to curve the test or who is going to mess up in lab first. And she asks me if I need help in lab all the freaking time! Like does it look like I need help?”

Eliza stares at her with an amused smiles that makes her even more self conscious.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Alex snaps, curling away from her.

“I’m just--I’ve never seen you like this,” Eliza points out, still smiling.

“Like what?”

“I know that you and I haven’t been particularly close and there’s a lot of things that you like to keep to yourself. But I just want to make sure---Alex, do you have a crush on Lucy?”

Alex feels her whole body warm, her neck and ears especially as she pushes off the bed uncomfortably. “What? A crush? Mom, I’m not--” she starts defensively. Her heart pounds in her chest because she can’t tell what her mom is getting at. She can’t know. She doesn’t know about Alex liking girls.

“Alex,” Eliza directs firmly. “Calm down. I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I just want to know where you’re at.” She pats the space beside her for Alex to sit down. “No one has ever made you lash out like this before and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me.”

Alex stares at her mom carefully. She sees the softness in her eyes and slowly sits back down on her bed. She bites the inside of her lip as she plays with the glass in her hand, thumb pressing against the glass thoughtfully. Her heart continues to pound inside of her and the trepidation inside of her grows. She opens her mouth to speak but she doesn’t know where to start.

The emotions overwhelm her and she feels it ball up in her throat. She shudders out another sigh and crawls on her bed, carefully not tilting the glass, until she can lie her head on Eliza’s lap.

“Mom…please be okay with this,” Alex begs as she curls up. She can’t bear to look at her mom as she says, “I like girls.” Alex shuts her eyes and lets a moment pass before she feels Eliza’s soft hands brush her hair.

“Hmm,” she sounds softly with acceptance. “It’s okay.”

Alex peers up to her mom. “You sure?”

Eliza smiles down at her and nods. “You’re my daughter. I’m sure.” She lets out a breath, relaxing further into the bed as she brushes Alex’s hair. “So Lucy?”

Alex blushes this time and shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she admits. “I’ve barely figured this whole lesbian thing and it’s just been making my head a mess every time Lucy’s around. I don’t know. I’m just scared.” She quietly rubs her sprained fingers to ease the pain.

“From what Kara says, Lucy is a pretty nice girl.” Alex grunts in response that makes Eliza smile. “Have you talked to Lucy? Actually had a conversation with her?”

Alex frowns. “No? We just bicker and fight.” She sighs. “I just--she just makes me--I-is this how it’s supposed to feel?”

“What?”

“A crush. When I see her I just get so off balance and out of control like I want to run away and keep running but I keep thinking about her and all the stupid things about her that bother me. And everyone keeps telling me she’s actually nice and she’s not a brat but every time she’s around something inside me just freaks out and it makes me not like her.”

Eliza lets out a little laugh that makes Alex roll onto her back to look at her mom.

“What?” Alex narrows her eyes.

“Sounds to me like you’ve liked her for awhile but you just never knew what to do with those feelings,” Eliza points out. “You know what they say, the more you hate someone, the more you like them.”

Alex scoffs. “No one says that, mom.”

Eliza hums. “You say that, but here you are, unreasonably mad at a girl that you’ve barely gotten to know over the last three years.”

“Ugh,” Alex groans looking up at the ceiling. She lets out a big sigh, feeling the weigh in her chest slowly ebb away. “I feel hurt mom. It really hurt me when that ball hit my face and not because of the ball, but I felt humiliated when those girls started laughing. I just felt like--I don’t know…”

“You thought Lucy wanted to hurt you?” Eliza prods gently.

Alex shuts her eyes and nods. “She just stood there and stared at me while all the other girls laughed. And usually, I don’t care because it’s their opinion but---I didn’t know what to do so I ran.” She sighs again.

Eliza quietly sits there, running her fingers through Alex’s hair soothingly. Eliza lets her know that they can talk about it more when Alex figures everything out and starts dinner for them.  

Alex eventually finds her center, trying to focus on what she can do to not waste anymore of her time. She, of course, ignores her feelings for the time being, opting to do more homework hidden away in her room. She doesn’t find Kara downstairs, but she does see the photo frame of their family photo picked up with a single crack across it that makes her feel guilty.

The doorbell rings.

Alex looks confused as she goes to answer the door.

The last person she expects to see stands before her.

Lucy Lane.

Lucy stands there a pair of sweatpants and her school track jacket over a simple white t-shirt. She smiles with uncertainty as she stands there clasping something in her hand.

“Hey, Danvers,” Lucy greets in her sweet voice.

Alex feels the heat rise to her face, her eyes widen, her heart pound in her chest, and her body shake. Without a second thought, she slams the door shut.

“Alex!”

There are two admonishing voices that makes Alex turn around. Kara and Eliza stand there both mortified that Alex just slammed the door on Lucy.

“What’s she doing here?!” Alex hisses, glancing back at the door as if Lucy can see her.

“We don’t know now,” Kara sasses, gesturing towards the door. “Don’t be rude!”

Alex can feel her heart practically beat out of her chest. “No!” is her knee jerk response. Her palms start to sweat because Lucy Lane is at her house. “Why is she here?!”

Eliza’s lips thin at her daughter and she makes her way past Alex to open the door. Alex hides on the other side much to Kara’s surprise.

Luckily, Lucy is still standing there, albeit stunned at the door suddenly being slammed on her.

“Hi, can I help you?” Eliza asks.

Alex glances through the crack of the doorway to see Lucy’s expression. Lucy pushes her hair back nervously before reaching out her hand.

“My name is Lucy Lane, ma’am, I’m here to speak to your daughter, Alex, if that’s okay?” Lucy informs succinctly and precisely.

It’s strange for Alex to hear Lucy speak so properly. She’s too used to Lucy’s annoyingly cheerful and carefree voice. She can tell her mother is also surprised as well.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lucy, I’ve heard about you,” Eliza returns simply as she takes Lucy’s hand. It’s a power move to make Lucy uncomfortable.

Lucy doesn’t respond just yet, which means there’s an exchange of looks Alex can’t spy from behind the door. Then Lucy calmly says, “Of course. I apologize for giving Alex a black eye, but I hope I can talk to her. If it’s okay with you and if she wants to.”

Alex can’t contain her curiosity as much as she cowers behind the door. She steps behind her mother, peering around her shoulder slowly. “What do we have to talk about?” she shoots out.

Lucy doesn’t look surprised at Alex’s sudden appearance. She does look at Eliza for permission before looking at Alex. She doesn’t get to answer.

“Alex,” Eliza interrupts. “Why don’t you take Lucy to the back porch?” Alex looks like she’s about to protest but she adds, “Let’s not be rude now, she’s come all this way.” She opens the door further for Lucy to enter their home.

Lucy politely accepts the invitation much to Alex’s dismay. She greets Kara, who welcomes her with open arms and whispers something in her ear that Alex can’t quite catch. Lucy doesn’t seemed bothered as she pats Kara’s arms.

Alex stiffly stands there, back as straight at Lucy’s before she jerks her hand in the general vicinity of where she’s leading Lucy. There’s a sense of dread that fills Alex as she leads Lucy outside. It’s one thing to see Lucy at school, but it’s completely different to see her elsewhere, let alone her own home. It’s a sacred space. Her sacred space.

They get outside and Alex takes a deep breath of fresh air to prepare herself. She looks out from the vantage point they are at and sees the docks in the distance.

“I’ve never seen Star City quite like this,” Lucy says as she stands beside Alex near the railing.

Alex crosses her arms, her pinky and ring fingers carefully grasp her arm. She’s been meaning to wrap that since she’s gotten back. “What did you come here for?” Alex asks without exactly looking at Lucy.

Lucy turns to look at Alex fully, for a brief moment she bows her head demurely as she looks at her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she answers, picking her words carefully.

Alex lets out a scoff. “Why--why would you care?”

Lucy takes a deep breath and her hand reaches out to touch Alex, but she thinks twice when Alex notices how close she is. “Because I care about what you think,” she admits. Alex stares dubiously. “About me.”

Alex furrows her brows. “What’re you talking about?”

“Do you remember chem class with Dr. Wells?” Lucy asks.

Alex nods, remembering it clearly. “You came in late and turns out you and I were the only freshmen in the class.”

Lucy smiles. “So he paired us up and I went over to your bench and tried to help.” Alex narrows her eyes. “I was so nervous being new and I poured in the sodium hydroxide instead of the sulfuric acid into the copper solution. You were so mad.” She scratches the back of her neck nervously.  “I tried so hard to talk to you after that, you know, to make it up?”

“You did not,” Alex scoffs.

“I definitely did,” Lucy argues. “I tried giving you a pastry but we were in lab and you were all ‘we can’t have food in lab, you should put that away.’” Alex nods in agreement and Lucy lets out a small laugh. “I ate an unnecessary amount of chocolate croissants for a week because you didn’t realize I was trying to give you it.” There’s a small blush on Lucy’s cheeks as she briefly looks to her feet. “I wanted you to like me.”

Alex feels her cheeks warm. “Why are you telling me this now?” She curls up into herself just a bit more, hoping that Lucy doesn’t notice.

“Because I just don’t know what I’ve done to make you hate me so much,” Lucy looks upset as she stares directly at Alex’s black eye, “but if you do it’s okay.” Her fingers come up gently under her sprained ones and Alex feels a shock from the touch. “I just want you to know that I would never hurt you.”

Alex shies away from Lucy’s electrifying touch, feeling her cheeks warm instantly. There’s a hurt look on Lucy’s face and she takes a step back to give them a modest space. Alex feels her heart jump. “I don’t!” She blurts out. “I me-mean, I-I-I don’t hate you.”

Lucy’s eyes widen and slowly asks, “You don’t?”

Alex bites her lip and shakes her head. “It’s complicated.” Lucy stares at Alex in confusion and Alex reddens. She has feelings for Lucy, sure, but she doesn’t know what that means. What does she do with them? “I-just, I don’t hate you. Like I want to hate you because of your annoyingly smart ass answers in class and ridiculously perfect hair and stupidly pretty face, but you’re not like evil. You just--every time you get near me I get so crazy--I don’t know.” Alex feels like she’s run a marathon after her rambling. And honestly, she doesn’t know what she was trying to achieve.

There’s a brief moment of silence as Lucy studies her. There’s an adorable tilt of her head as she asks, “You think I’m pretty?”

Alex blushes hard. “That wasn’t the point,” Alex sasses quickly, looking anywhere that isn’t Lucy. “People always talk about you. Lots of people say you’re pretty. I’m just--I just--I’m not going to disagree. It’s hard not to notice you when we have class together like all the time.”

As Alex continues to ramble, Lucy just stares at her with an annoying half smile at the corner of her lips. She looks like she’s trying to figure something out and she does with loud and wide eye, “Oh!”

Alex’s eyes widen. “It’s not a big deal--you’re not unnoticeable and I just happen to notice. I’m not--”

Before Alex get another word out Lucy lunges forward and presses her lips against Alex’s. Alex’s eyes widen because Lucy is kissing her and it’s all awkward and strange because she wasn’t expecting it and her mouth is weirdly open because she’s in the middle of her words. But Lucy’s lips are so soft and smooth and then they move--Alex gasps softly that allows Lucy’s lips to slot between hers, kissing her bottom lip gently. Alex slowly kisses Lucy back because it feels nice.

It feels right.

Kissing Sara was completely different, they were drunk so it was sloppy and hot. Sara pushed down on her just right to make her heart pound and kissed her roughly.

Lucy on the other hand takes her time. She kisses Alex so sweetly like she’s savoring the moment.

Alex savors it too. Those times in class when she sees Lucy speak so much, only to spend the rest of the day fixated on Lucy’s lips. She’s pushed the thoughts of how Lucy’s lips have felt against her to the dark corners of her mind because she never thought this day would ever come. She thought she was a freak for even letting a blip of imagination through. Now Lucy’s here kissing her.

Reality comes crashing back and Alex quickly puts her hands on Lucy’s shoulders to push her back.

“Wait, wait-what’re you doing?” Alex lets out quickly, her heart frantically beating inside her. She unconsciously looks around thinking she’s in school and the cheerleading squad is going to pop out and laugh at her.

“I’m so sorry!” Lucy immediately apologizes from the look on Alex’s face. “I just got a bit excited--you were saying--and I thought--you like girls right? I didn’t just misinterpret this whole ‘repressed gay trope’ thing right?”

“Repressed gay trope?” Alex lets out, sounding more offended than she wants to.

Lucy misinterprets this and quickly steps back. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I clearly misinterpreted this. I thought you were telling me that the reason why it seemed like you hated me so much was because you actually liked me. And I got really excited because you liked me, but probably not like like me.” Lucy rubs her temples, horrified at herself. “I’m such a mess. I’m so sorry if that was way out of line and I made you uncomfortable. Everything just made sense like I like you and you like me back but now you probably actually do hate me.” She wrings her fingers in her hands, sleeves coming down just enough to barely show them. “I should probably go. I’m pretty sure I’ve done enough.”

Alex takes a second to soak in what Lucy’s said. It’s different on the receiving end of a ramble and there’s only one thing that sticks out. “You like me?” Lucy stops walking away from Alex to look back at her. “You like like me?”

Lucy takes a deep breath and squares herself before turning to Alex. She stands bravely before Alex and nods confidently. “Yes. I like like you. I’ve had a crush on you since day one.”

Alex dumbly says, “Oh.” The certainty in Lucy’s voice makes Alex feel inadequate. “Are you...gay?”

Lucy shakes her head. “I’m bisexual. I don’t advertise it but my family knows and the girls on the squad know for the most part.”

“And they don’t care?”

Lucy’s lip tighten because she’s trying to smile, but there’s a bit of sadness in her eyes. “My dad isn’t entirely okay with it, but the girls don’t really care.”

“Are you sure?” Alex asks wearily.

Lucy nods. “They just do that stupid whisper thing in the halls when they see you and say stupid stuff because they know I have a crush on you.” Alex’s eyes widen at Lucy’s admission. “Don’t worry, it’s--they don’t think you’re a lesbian. They think you just hate me. And they automatically take my side because I’m on the squad.”

Alex nods, trying to make sense of everything. She just doesn’t even know where to begin. She’s still trying to process her own feelings and while it helps to get a better understanding of Lucy, she just doesn’t know what to do.

“Look, Alex, I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable or confused,” Lucy begins sadly, “but if you want, we can forget about this and move on. Whatever you want to do.” She still stands tall but Alex notices the shimmer in her green eyes.

“How I feel about you is very...complicated,” Alex begins softly, trying to gain the courage Lucy’s had this entire time. “I like you but I’ve tried so hard to not like you that everything is confusing. I have a million thoughts running through my head and I’m still processing them.”

Lucy nods, standing there patiently for Alex to continue.

“I liked kissing you,” Alex blurts out for one thing that she’s sure of. “You’re really good at that.” She lets out nervously with a shy smile. “But we just--we’re not friends and we don’t know much about each other.”

“Do you want to try getting to know each other?” Lucy’s eyes brighten eagerly.

Alex shyly tucks her hair behind her ear. “As in--”

“Friends?” Lucy offers. “To start? I mean, no pressure obviously. If you want to your own thing, I support that.”

Lucy just stares up at Alex with bright hopeful eyes and her chest tightens because it’s beautiful. Her first instinct is to look away but Lucy’s presence is so warm and inviting, she can’t. So she fights that urge to run because it’s clear that Lucy has been trying and still wants to try. Alex takes a breath and nods. “Okay. I think that might help. Friends.”

Lucy smiled brightly at her that day, gingerly taking Alex’s hand. Her first act as her friend was to help splint her sprained fingers with the Icy Hot she had been fiddling with in her pocket. While Alex blushed profusely at how gentle Lucy was being, they had their first real conversation.

Four months later and Alex finds herself dragging her feet because she knows she’s in deep shit. She has feelings for Lucy. Real legitimate feelings.

Those feelings are getting harder and harder to ignore the more time they spend together.

It’s kind of crazy how much they have in common (from little things like their favorite movies and ice cream to big things like their convictions to right wrongs and defend the little guy). More importantly, they complement each other so well. Lucy is easy to get along with Alex finds out, when she pushes her sharp tongue and wit to the back of her mind to actually listen to Lucy. Lucy is genuinely kind and thoughtful; the reason she seems like she knows everything all the time is because she actually does. She pays attention to her friends and family as well as Alex does, observing little nuance behaviors and habits, but she’s much better at sympathizing than Alex is, reaching out when she cares and helping from the beginning to end.

It’s so frustrating for Alex because she’s painted a vastly different picture of Lucy and now that she’s looking at it again, it’s completely different. She doesn’t feel annoyed and jealous of Lucy, she actually admires Lucy. And she likes her. All of the things she held in contempt before are things that have grown to be endearing to Alex. She can’t imagine Lucy any other way.

The only problem is telling Lucy how she feels. It’s been four months of “being friends.” It was stupidly open ended for Alex to say they could be friends because now she feels like that’s all they are. It was really Alex’s fault; she knows it. Not only was Alex not good at dealing with emotions, but she was even worse at showing physical affection. She is careful and choosy about who she hugs and who she lets touch her. Lucy unconsciously broke through all those barriers because she’s an affectionate person. She’s just as affectionate as Kara is, which is why they’re such good friends. But just as Alex is getting used to Lucy, she feels like Lucy’s starting to pull away.

And Alex doesn't know why.

Lucy doesn’t let her stares linger too long, doesn’t stand too close to Alex, and doesn’t let her hand linger on Alex’s. It bothers Alex and she doesn’t know what to do. All she knows is that she wants Lucy in more ways than one. It scares her how much she wants Lucy.

Lucy is always sure. It’s one of the many things she’s learned from Lois. If there were things that she wanted in life, she had to be sure of it. It’s what drives her to take action because if you didn’t then what was the point? What was the point of life if you didn’t take action to do what was good and right and just?

It doesn’t mean that she isn’t scared. At some points, she’s completely mortified. That’s how she knows she wants something, when she’s so scared it keeps her up at night. By morning, she would’ve resolved to do something about it.

It started as a crush when she was a freshman. Just seeing a pretty girl like Alex that intimidated her right to the core. Then it changed into a bit of infatuation. Lucy played with Alex, teasing her, poking fun, just to get her attention because Alex didn’t want her and would never want her. Now, she was as sure as a heart attack that she liked Alex. All because just four months ago, the truth came out. Alex came out to her. She came out to Alex. Then they were trying to be friends.

Friends.

Being just friends with Alex kind of sucks because Alex is the only one she wants.

People always think it’s easy for her to make friends. It doesn’t take much to be kind and genuine with people. But to be intimate with someone? To feel as close as she does with Alex?

Alex is probably the only one she’s ever talked to about her relationship with Lois and how ever since she’s come out to her family, that everything is a bit shittier than it seems because her father can’t seem to accept all of her. Lucy shrugs it off, but Alex is the one that gingerly places an arm around Lucy’s shoulder to pull her into a half hug before letting Lucy rest her head on her shoulder.

It isn’t fair that the one person she is close to, that she cares to be close to, probably doesn’t like her back at this point. And as much as Lucy wants to push it, she won’t. She wants to be respectful of Alex and their friendship. At first it was so amusing to watch Alex squirm in her proximity and tease her whenever possible. Now, she’s worried that she won’t just be teasing or joking with Alex anymore. There are moments where she looks at Alex and all she wants to do is kiss her soft lips until she runs out of breath.

Lucy hates feeling unsure of what to do. Does she keep waiting for Alex to maybe change her mind about being friends? Or should she just give up?

The dining room is quiet and tense.

They’re together. Alone. At Alex’s house. Doing homework.

They’re sitting across from each other with all of their books spread out between them with their laptops open like barriers.

The only sound that fills the room is the tapping of Lucy’s fingers against the keyboard and Alex’s mouse clicking, Lucy has diligently started their research paper, while Alex works on the graphics for their poster.

To say that Lucy is strictly focused on the paper would be untrue. She can’t help but look up at her partner at some points to catch Alex push her hair behind her ears or bite her lip in deep concentration. Just for a second.

They haven’t been alone in awhile. Lately, there have been buffers to help Lucy distract herself from Alex. Usually, Kara is there but today she’s staying late at Thea’s. And Alex’s mom is out of town for a conference.

Through the quiet, there’s a low grumble and Lucy looks up to see Alex blushing.

“Sorry, I’m getting hungry,” Alex murmurs as she sits back in her chair.

Lucy glances at the clock and realizes it’s close to dinner time. “Right, maybe we should call it a day?” she offers.

Alex seems a little bit tense but she nods. “I can look over the essay?”

“It’s on the Google Drive,” Lucy reminds as she closes her laptop and starts shutting her books.

“Oh, right. Uh...do you want to take a look at the poster so far?” Alex asks.

Lucy stops gathering her books and nods. “Sure, I mean I’m sure it looks fine since the last time we looked it over.” She gets out of her seat and walks over to Alex. She pauses to see if Alex is going to move her laptop towards her, but she doesn’t. Instead, Alex just sits back in her chair and lets Lucy take a look. Lucy takes a deep breath before leaning over to get a better look.

Their research paper is on ovarian cancer in pregnant women. It surprisingly didn’t take them long to choose a topic to research together. Lucy told Alex about her mother’s battle with cancer when she was pregnant with Lucy. Instead of expressing her condolences like many people have done when Lucy says her mother died (which is why she doesn’t talk about her mom since moving to Star City), Alex put two and two together and quietly admitted that she wants to become a doctor one day so it’d be good to know for the future.

Alex radiates heat as she leans over. It’s a joke that she liked making whenever they hung out to watch movies or play video games. It’s a comforting warmth that Lucy likes being around; it’s especially pleasing when she lets herself cuddle against Alex’s side because Alex would quietly grumble or tense but let Lucy do it anyway. Eventually, Alex would give in and let her, even casually throwing an arm around her.

“The poster looks good,” Lucy says after a brief moment. Suddenly, she feels too close and stands back up quickly, barely glancing at the poster. “We will just need some graphics.”

“Right, were you able to find some?”

“Yep, they’re in the paper. You can use the data figures I highlighted.” Lucy makes her way back around the table to pack her backpack.

Alex makes a small sound of realization. “Are you leaving?”

Lucy nods. “Yeah, it’s getting close to dinner time.” She doesn’t really want to go home, since no one is there, but staying with Alex alone in her home is a recipe for disaster.

“Y-you can stay?” Alex offers politely. “I was just going to make something to eat and I always have extra.”

Lucy just looks at Alex. Alex is always polite when they’re at her house, the ever so nice hostess. As much as she wants to say yes, she can see how nervous and skittish Alex is. There’s a look in her eyes that Lucy reads as ‘please say no.’ She focuses harder on packing up her things and lets the lame excuses out. “It’s alright, I really appreciate it. I should probably go home for dinner.”

“Is everything okay?” Alex suddenly asks.

Lucy tenses. “Yeah,” she lies easily. “Why wouldn’t everything be okay?”

“I just--you told me your dad was going to be out of town this week, so I thought--you usually like to stay here.”

Lucy feels her right eye twitch unconsciously when she’s being read. Alex knows her all too well; on days her father isn’t home, she usually works late at Alex’s place and Eliza or Kara suggests she just spends the night so she’s not alone. She’s gotten quite used to the comfort of the guest bedroom next to Alex’s room.

It makes it hard for her to say no, but she has to. She can’t keep intruding on Alex like this. “It’s alright,” she resolves. “I should go.” She practically throws the rest of her backpack.

“Lucy, what’s going on?” Alex asks, voice trembling.

Lucy looks up and notices Alex moving to stand beside her. Before she can even react, Alex grabs her hand to stop her from zipping her backpack. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just should go.”

“Wait, are you sure? Are-are you okay?” Alex’s eyes briefly search hers but they both avert their gazes. She looks at Alex’s hand on her because it feels like fire and she looks back up at her, gently pulling away. Alex visibly stiffens.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lucy says as she steps back to finish zipping her backpack. She can tell how increasingly uncomfortable Alex is. It’s like she’s trying hard to care about Lucy. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“Intrude?” Alex repeats in confusion. “How would you be intruding? You’re always here anyway.”

“Don’t sound so enthused by that,” Lucy unconsciously mumbles throwing her backpack over her shoulder.

Alex reels back. “I’m sorry what?”

Lucy shakes her head. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m gonna go.”

“Wait, Lucy, I’m serious. What’s going on with you? Are you mad at me?” There’s genuine confusion and concern written all over Alex’s face that makes Lucy feel guilty. Her feelings about this whole situation is her own fault. She’s just trying to remove herself from the situation before she does something stupid.

Lucy sighs. “No, I’m not mad at you.” She rubs her forehead. “I’m just tired that’s all.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying.”

Alex crosses her arms. “You are,” Alex declares, knowing full well that Lucy hates when someone tells her how she feels. “You’re mad at me and you’re lying about it.”

“I’m not,” Lucy grits, clenching her backpack straps.

“You totally are,” Alex points out with a knowing smile. She’s doing it on purpose. She’s trying to make Lucy mad.

“I know what you’re doing,” Lucy throws back. “You’re trying to make me mad enough so that I can just blow up and tell you what’s wrong.”

Alex narrows her eyes. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“No!”

“So there is something wrong!”

Lucy throws her hand up in frustration before turning to walk out of the dining room.

“Lucy!” Alex chases after her. “Come on. What is going on? Why are you being like this?”

“I’m not being anything.”

“It sure seems like you are. I thought we were friends.”

Lucy bites the urge to groan at friends. She holds her head up high and turns around to Alex. “We are,” she declares, sounding harsher than she intends to.

Alex notices this and pauses midstep with a shocked look on her face. It takes a moment for the look to change and Lucy can see the hurt in Alex’s face. After a breath, Alex quietly asks, “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

Lucy feels guilty because this is Alex letting her guard down. She can see it all over Alex’s face. She does care about Lucy and as much as it warms her heart to know that Alex cares, it feels so insignificant to what Lucy wants. In that moment, she wants Alex way too much.

There are plenty of things she wants to say to Alex. All of the feelings she’s been suppressing for the sake of their friendship threatens to spill out before them in that moment. It just feels unfair because Lucy knows that Alex doesn’t feel the same way.

“Something is clearly bothering you,” Alex points out again, carefully, with concern in her voice. “Is it something at home? Is it school? Is it actually me?” As she says it, Lucy can see the hurt in Alex’s face.

The first time she saw that was four months ago on the volleyball court. She’d been so focused on the game, she forgot that the girls on the squad were saying things to Alex, trying to put her in her place for the sake of Lucy. She’d told the girls time and time again to just lay off, especially when she’s around.

The set up for the spike was perfect and she hadn’t realized Alex would be there until she saw her tripping into view. Before Alex could right herself to make the save, the ball hit her right in the face. Everyone had laughed - stupid first instinct - but Lucy tried to rush over except Alex was too quick, rushing off before she could get to her.

The look on Alex’s face was something she couldn’t forget. It had morphed from shock to hurt in just seconds. That time it was because of Lucy.

This time it is because of Lucy.

She can’t stand seeing Alex look hurt because of how she feels. It’s not right.

“No, it’s not you,” Lucy says softly, biting the urge to touch Alex. “It’s me.”

Alex doesn’t stop staring at Lucy with a sullen look. “Why does this vaguely sound like the beginning of a break up?”

Lucy sighs at the ill timed joke. “Alex…,” Lucy gently cautions. They’d have to be dating for them to break up.

“Okay, okay,” Alex tries not to joke. She searches Lucy’s eyes. She bites her lip nervously. “Why--don’t you just s-stay?”

“It’s fine, really. I don’t mind going.” Lucy tries to steel herself. She doesn’t want to misinterpret Alex.

Alex reaches out to grasp Lucy’s wrist gently. “I know you don’t like being home alone, what if I want you to stay with me? Will that make you feel better?”

Lucy internally groans. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Like what?” Alex cluelessly asks. “Like I care?”

“Yes exactly that,” Lucy grumbles. She can’t take it anymore. It’s too much when Alex doesn’t realize how the little things matter to Lucy. She takes a deep breath and prepares herself. “God, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Luce…”

“No, just give me a second to say this.” Alex nods slowly and the look on her face makes Lucy feel worse. “It’s been great being your friend because I love hanging out with you and talking to you and getting to know you. You’re like my best friend. And I know that we said we’d be friends, but I don’t want to be just friends. I still like you, like really like you as more than a friend.” Alex’s eyes widen in shock. “And I know you probably don’t feel the same but I just--”

Her words are cut off as Alex’s hands cup her cheeks and their lips are pressed together. Her eyes widen as Alex kisses her soundly that she forgets to kiss back. But Alex’s eyes are closed, brows furrowed with concentration, as she kisses her. Just as Lucy thinks to kiss back, Alex pulls away.

Alex’s cheeks are pink and she bites her lips with uncertainty. “I’m sorry,” she says softly, not letting go of Lucy’s cheeks.

“I’m so confused right now,” Lucy says despite the smile on her lips. Alex kissed her! Her heart is pounding inside of her.

“I like you too,” Alex admits, biting the inside of her cheek. “I really like you as more than a friend. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was scared that maybe you only saw me as a friend that’s why you were pulling away.”

“I wanted to give us some space so I wouldn’t do something like--”

“Accidentally kiss me?” This time Lucy blushes and Alex just smiles.

Lucy tilts her head up and Alex meets her halfway to kiss her again. She slowly wraps her arms around Alex’s shoulders. Alex’s hands come down to her waist, just underneath her backpack. It feels like a dream kissing Alex. It’s just like their first time, paced and unrushed, like they’ve been dying to do that forever. Lucy can imagine kissing Alex forever because she loves the way Alex quietly sighs into her and holds onto her; it makes her melt against Alex.

When they pull away to breathe, both of them try to catch their breath with a blush.

“Alex,” Lucy huskily starts, “do you wanna go steady with me?”

Alex suppresses a laugh. “Why do you always sound so proper?”

“It’s called having manners,” Lucy sasses playfully. Alex giggles as she pulls Lucy in. “So?”

Alex nods. “I’m so glad you asked because I would never have the guts to.”

Lucy laughs as they hug tightly. “I’m so happy right now.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Alex admits as she nuzzles the top of Lucy’s hair a bit. “You’re my girlfriend.” Lucy hugs Alex even tighter in affirmation.  

The door suddenly opens and Alex and Lucy unconsciously jump from each other because Kara comes in a flurry. She pauses at the doors, eyes wide open, shirt and jacket unkempt as she balances her backpack on her shoulder. Lucy’s eyes widen at the sight of Kara’s neck.

“Hey, guys! What’s up? Nothing’s up with me.” Kara lets out a goofy giggle. “I’m just getting back from Thea’s and I’m just going to put my stuff upstairs. Are we having dinner? I’m starving. I’ll be right back!”

Before Alex can even respond, Kara rushes up for the stairs behind them and disappears. She looks back at Lucy in complete confusion.

“What was that?” Alex asks. “Should I be worried?”

Lucy snickers. “She’s going to try to hide that hickey on her neck.”

“The what?!” Alex yells in shock as she takes off after Kara. “Kara! You have a hickey?!”

Lucy laughs to herself as she takes off her backpack. “Alex, wait!” She yells as she chases her girlfriend up the stairs.