#Also if even a single person asks me about the route we went on I will indulge

[mightybeaujester]

I'm visiting London and went on a lil "locations from the Magnus Archives" tour and not only found this bench for all your "having a mental breakdown and smoking while your boss is murdering the guy that's kind of responsible for your childhood trauma w a steel pipe"-needs, but also this door leading somewhere basement-y (like an archive?) that is apparently alarmed, and is completely obstructed by a huge spider web including spider. Absolute perfection.

[darkstarofchaos]

Hello! Another person who is incredibly frustrated with redeemed Megatron.

Me and my friends have all voiced the exact same problems and that main being that we don't ever get the before him like at all. Hints here and there but for the most part NO ONE outside of the bad guys has any bad blood towards him.

I understand not every kid show needs to be these deep emotional epics but at the same time it's still weird to me that the Autobots, who have lost countless family and friends thanks specifically to the actions of Megatron and his followers, show no sort of lingering resentment. After all, the amount of time between the war ended and the beginning of the show would be like a few hours for beings that live for millions of years.

Having the Terrans would be a great excuse to have the devil's advocate angle when other Autobots still don't feel comfortable around him. I said the same thing in my own Starscream post too about how sometimes people can't change because those around them refuse to let them.

Megatron should've felt alienated from both sides and by him not falling back into old habits and committing to staying good would've actually proved that his redemption was warranted.

I'm not asking for it to take over the show, but these little background moments. Hell, Bumblebee's attitude would've been a little bit more tolerable if you were it was coming from a place of feeling slighted pissed that the cybertronian who more or less ruined his "childhood" (I've accepted that headcanon that any given Bumblebee is basically a former child soldier) is just walking free side to side with his mentor.

The sad thing is that the first couple episodes kinda show some hints of that? Like when Optimus gives his "Roll out" bit and Megatron tells Dot he's never sure if he means him, or Bumblebee being kinda wary when he tries to call Optimus and gets Megatron (also, Megatron's matter-of-fact recounting of how he kept his soldiers in line). It wasn't enough on its own, but they could have continued the trend to show most bots are wary of him at best, or even implied that the reason some Autobots don't show up much is because they don't want to be around him. It wouldn't have taken many changes to show Megatron as fairly isolated, with maybe one or two relationships that kept him from backsliding into his old ways (his friendship with Dot works better for me because 15 years is a long time for a human, and we know he saved her life at least once).

Honestly, I was ambivalent about his "redemption" in season 1? After Jawbreaker asked him about his altmode and it turned out all he had to do to get Optimus' trust was scan an Earth alt, I pretty much gave up on getting any meaningful backstory for him, so I was resigned to him just being Generic Ex-Decepticon (and then What Dwells Within happened and he finally felt like a Megatron trying to do better to me. Not just in his interactions with Starscream, but when he interacted with Optimus and Croft too: angry, wanting to do things his way, trying to do better but slipping into old habits. If he'd been more like that throughout the show, paired with the Autobots responding appropriately to him, I would have enjoyed his character a lot more).

And then Season 2 happened. And we went the "Starscream is worse than his abuser, actually" route. And now I'm like... This is everything I do not want from a Megatron redemption. The only thing I want from a Megatron redemption is for him to face what he did to the people closest to him. Every single Megatron redemption sees him running off somewhere and leaving the Decepticons to deal with the fallout of his war, and he never has to face the people he personally hurt. And when it comes to Starscream, it's almost treated like a good thing that he hurt him, because when Megatron isn't there to "keep him in check", he's worse than Megatron ever was. And then people roll their eyes and say "Starscream is always power hungry and evil, what do you expect?" while Armada Starscream is right there, and EarthSpark Starscream in Season 1 was a hell of a lot closer to Armada than to Cyberverse.

On his own, EarthSpark Megatron was boring and a waste of potential, but not especially offensive. Paired with Starscream, and specifically Starscream as he appeared in the final episode of the latest batch, he is possibly my least favorite part of EarthSpark right now. Not as a character, but as a concept. I like Megatron, but I have no use for a redeemed Megatron who still has to believe that he's better than Starscream, and be supported in that belief by the narrative. The early scene in S2 when Megatron tells Starscream to let the war end could have been a really good character moment, because we would see that there are still things he doesn't regret, and that he truly sees himself as better than Starscream (who isn't even the one to blame for the war's continuation - I firmly believe that, since the Decepticons were the ones being hunted and locked up, it falls to Megatron and the Autobots to prove that things can be different now. And if the war is continuing, it's almost certainly because Megatron and/or the Autobots fucked up).

But instead we get, "Yeah, Megatron thinks he's a better person than Starscream. And you know what? He's right." I am so done with the abuse apologetics.

[girlstuffnorp]

Julie and the Phantoms Song Recs: McFly Songs that are Sunset Curve/JATP Coded

So, McFly are a big British pop/rock band that have been around since 2003, and are still releasing music and touring at the time of writing in 2024. I saw them perform live in 2023, and loved it. 💖 That tour was to celebrate the release of the most recent album (at the time of writing) - Power To Play - and listening to that album immediately gave me Sunset Curve vibes, and then I subsequently realised that they had been making Sunset Curve/JATP-coded songs throughout their whole career. 🥺💖

Edit: So, McFly are really popular in Brazil, and they released a song with popular Brazilian band Fresno in 2023 as part of the Power To Play album - Broken By You... and I've just discovered that Fresno actually had a cameo in Julie e os Fantasmas (the original Brazilian show that Julie and the Phantoms was adapted from) in episode 3, so this whole post has gained a lot more validity in a '6 degrees of separation' kind of way 😍👏

I wanted to make a list of songs that I could see Sunset Curve/JATP performing/recording for their potential albums, some that just remind me of the boys, and some fun gems in between - these are all my personal preferences/opinions, so you may think differently, but here is the current tracklist in no particular order. (All with YouTube links of varying quality since a lot of the music videos/live performances give Sunset Curve/JATP vibes too IMO. All [except one] of these songs are also on Spotify etc.):

🎶 God of Rock & Roll (link here) (Screams Sunset Curve for me)

🎶 Where Did All The Guitars Go? (link here) (Also screams Sunset Curve for me)

🎶 Air Guitar (as McBusted with Busted) (link here) (Always reminded me of when the boys realised that people could see them play with Julie)

🎶 Ghostbusters (Live cover of song by Ray Parker Jr.) (link here) (On Youtube, but sadly not on streaming) (Maybe a bonus/hidden track on the album or they would exclusively play live at the gigs - I couldn't not share it because it's awesome from start to finish, and the boys would totally cover it as a joke 👻Also, imagine the boys getting the crowd to do call-and-response with them - iconic 😍)

🎶 I'll Be Ok (link here) (Gives me vibes of the boys helping each other through their crappy family lives in the 90s 🥺)

🎶 Five Colours In Her Hair (link here) (The song written during a jam session - the boys just having a laugh)

🎶 Make It Out Alive (link here) (As soon as I first heard this, the angst and melodrama of the song gave me vibes of the boys being cursed and under Caleb's control at the HGC 🥺)

🎶 Route 55 (link here) (A song all about friends having a great time together during an endless summer)

🎶 Don't Stop Me Now (Charity single cover of Queen) (link here) (They would have totally covered Queen during their jam sessions - respecting some of the best but putting their own fun spin on things 😂)

🎶 Transylvania (link here) (This song always gives me HGC vibes - so gothic and melodramatic, and Dougie's vocals in the chorus?? 😍)

🎶 Party Girl (link here) (Such a guilty pleasure song of mine~ This music video is slightly NSFW since it contains clips of the band's infamous vampire-themed short film that they all starred in 2010 to promote their album at the time [which even the band realise was a bad idea in hindsight, since it was clearly riding the Twilight wave]... but! Listening to this song also gives me ideas for a possible evil Julie possessed/controlled by Caleb - maybe sometime I will write them down~ 👀)

🎶Tonight Is The Night (link here) (A spiritual sequel to I'll Be Ok in my mind - when the boys realise that they're not really okay and need to ask for help to process all the shit that has happened to them - think what Luke went through in Unsaid Emily [and what we presume Alex and Reggie would go through in subsequent seasons] and the boys helping each other through it 🥺)

🎶 Too Close For Comfort (link here) (The obligatory break-up song on an album, and this performed live is everything - just heartbreaking 🥺)

🎶 Umbrella (Live cover of song by Rihanna) (link here) (Julie gives the boys a lesson in popular music during the 25 years that they've been dead, and they decide to surprise her with a fun rock cover of Umbrella to cheer her up one day)

🎶 The Heart Never Lies (link here) (The dramatic love song on an album that is really about the band's bond and sticking together through thick and thin)

🎶 Falling In Love (link here) (The love song that has a music video full of tour footage, which always make me think of the boys in Sunset Curve absolutely loving playing for a crowd, and the bridge/quiet part of the song giving the vibe of Julie, Luke, Alex and Reggie cherishing the moment at the end of Stand Tall before the boys cross over 🥺)

🎶 One For The Radio (link here) (The defiant song for everyone who dismissed Sunset Curve and JATP - I could imagine this as a song written in response to either record companies who wouldn't sign Sunset Curve/JATP, Bobby/Trevor or Caleb. It also gives me vibes of the boys appearing back onto the stage of the Orpheum to perform Stand Tall with Julie - defiant celebration)

🎶 Lies (link here) (The break-up song that gives me vibes of the boys standing up to Caleb. Also is it just me, or does Tom [you can see him at around 0:43 in the video] give Luke vibes in his styling? 😍)

🎶 Forever's Not Enough (link here) (The true love song that Luke writes for Julie, but will never admit that it's for her because he makes the lyrics vague enough 💖)

Tagging @ri-jane @phantomwriter95 @hemeraomara @1mnobodywhoareyou @legolasghosty

@floating-in-the-blue @60sec400

[makeste]

So before the next chapter translation/recap drops, I wanted to ask what you think of Bakugo very likely being AFO's final opponent? I didn't really see that coming. The rival is always there, but they usually team up with the MC for the final fight or aren't part of it (Vegeta during all the DBZ saga final villains, Sasuke at the end of Shipuuden). AFO isn't even Bakugo's personal villain, like Dabi is Todoroki's and Himiko is Uraraka's. I'm trying to wrap my head around it so it's more satisfying, but while it's REALLY AWESOME, I'm not feeling the *personal* stakes and ngl I spent half the time wondering if Deku would swoop in. I'm guessing he won't, final battle Shigaraki vs Deku, but yeah.

I think it's an interesting subversion of the usual final boss tropes. it's true that AFO and Bakugou don't have much in the way of personal history. they lack the tragic family ties of Dabi and Shouto, or the frequent homoerotic encounters of Toga and Ochako. Horikoshi clearly went a different route here.

that being said, there are a few things I do like about the setup. first, I really like that Bakugou chose Kid For One to be his final villain (and then inverted things on top of that -- you're not my final boss, I'm your final boss, lol). it's very much in line with his usual stubbornness and singlemindedness. everyone else -- Izuku, Shouto, and Ochako -- were sort of unwillingly dragged into their conflicts by fate. but Bakugou wanted a final boss so much that when life didn't conveniently hand him one, he went out and DEMANDED one. literally DIYed his own. that's the most Bakugou thing ever tbh.

second, I like the recurring theme of AFO creating his own demons. he's so powerful that the only thing that can bring him down is his own hubris. he accidentally created OFA by trying to dominate his baby brother. he tormented the OFA users for centuries only to be mutilated by a royally pissed-off All Might. and he has been snidely dismissive of Bakugou on multiple occasions throughout the manga, which is certainly looking like one hell of a mistake right now. not just because he missed the opportunity to kill him off on earlier occasions, but also because we all know that the more you ignore Kacchan, the more determined he is to prove you wrong.

third, I like that AFO is the one who apparently has personal trauma and not the other way around. even if the extent of his trauma is just, "you look like the guy I really hate!!", lol. it's unexpected and mildly amusing and I enjoy it.

and lastly, while I'm probably not super qualified to weigh in on this (seeing as there's a big chunk of the Deku vs. Tomura/AFO fight which I still haven't read yet, so I don't know how much ground has been covered already), I'm not so sure that this is the actual final battle. as you mentioned, those usually involve the rival teaming up with the MC against a single final villain. and neither Tomura nor Kid For One is giving me genuine final boss vibes tbh. I think AFO, and not Tomura, will be the final "final boss", but I'm guessing it will be a different version of AFO. either the AFO currently taking up residence in Tomura's head, or, potentially, the one possibly hanging out in Deku's.

either way though, that also means the final phase of this battle will likely take place not in the real world, but inside the OFA/AFO Mojo Dojo Casa Realm. and I think it will be Deku, Katsuki (since I'm convinced he also has OFA), and Tomura (plot twist) united against AFO. which I think would make for a much stronger final battle than the current setup. we were promised an ending which would surpass Heroes Rising in epicness, after all. a simple Deku vs. Tomura would hardly cut it, especially with Deku having already pushed himself to his limits and revealed all of his current OFA tricks that we know about. gotta be more to it.

so yeah, those are my thoughts. I'm enjoying the current antics, but I do think they are miniboss antics and not final boss ones. any finale that doesn't involve multiple OFA users teaming up against a single AFO wielder is going to feel a bit like it missed the point. it's literally in the name, lol. we need the "all" versus the "one", or else all that foreshadowing goes to waste. that's my hope at any rate.

[cherr-22]

TNGDH 23

The day was warm and clear.

I stood before Belial, Sen, and the carriage at the castle entrance. Sen, who was gazing up at the castle, wore a thick velvet cloak and had her hair lightly tied up.

As if to prove the description within <Winter’s Heart> was not an exaggeration, she who stood before the Northern sun was more beautiful than ever.

Even a proud prince would fall in love with her. In fact, even the prince may not be worthy of Sen.

“Thank you very much, Your Highness the Grand Duke. ……I apologize for leaving so suddenly.”

Kyle looked down at Sen with his signature reticent expression.

Despite receiving no response back, Sen smiled. Perhaps because it looked as if Kyle was supporting her in silence.

Kyle Blake was that kind of person. Contrary to his cold and blunt attitude, he was someone who truly worried and cared for his people.

Sen smiled brightly.

“I will do well no matter where I am. I will never forget the favor you have given me.”

“Good.”

Kyle replied blandly, but the short response and his gaze conveyed the feelings he had for the one who had been one of his people until now.

I did not talk with Sen. After all, we have already said what was needed to be said and heard out one another. So all we did was exchange a reassuring glance with each other one last time.

Belial stood quietly. He briefly came over to thank me for saving him during the chandelier incident, and then gave Kyle a smug look while exchanging a few words in an arrogant tone. Despite this, the atmosphere between the two was not as heavy as it had been in the study.

Kyle also didn’t seem to want to create any trouble so he held out his hand as a goodbye to Belial.

Yeah, yeah. You must be happy to take Sen with you. Don’t regret it and come crying later and live well. Don’t act rash even if you are going to take revenge, and don’t bother Kyle anymore.

I glared at Belial for him to hurry up and leave. Thankfully, he quickly left as I had hoped. Seeing the carriage move far into the distance gave me a sense of relief.

“I thought something would happen.”

“My words exactly. It’s as if I grew 10 years older…….”

“I still dream about the chandelier. Damn it…….”

Hearing that, I felt Kyle staring at me. I was glad that my back was turned towards him to not be burdened with that gaze.

However, my eyes were still fixed on the carriage. It felt strange to see the carriage move further and further away, slowly turning into a black dot. Why did it look as if it were being swallowed by the fog.

‘……Whatever. I’m just having useless worries.’

The biggest problem is me, who had to live most of the day as a hamster after all.

“You asked me to follow you to the study for a moment to check on the demonic beast, right?”

Kyle caught on my signal that I wanted us to quickly leave. I only had two hours a day. Time is gold so let’s go, Your Highness the Grand Duke.

If it was the inside of the castle, I now knew all the routes like the back of my hand. It was all thanks to my previous life’s ability to find the cafeteria no matter where I was in the company. Office workers who lack energy always do their best to walk even a single step less.

“Let’s see. This way should be the fastest?”

I walked ahead with long strides. Of course, to Kyle, this would be like a duck showing off in front of a swan, but he decided to follow me from behind.

Soon we went up the stairs to the study. Climbing up the spiral staircase, climbing up more, climbing……

……My steps began to slow down. To be more accurate, I began to slow down from the fifteenth step. It seemed even my office worker’s stamina was brought over with the ‘Summon’ skill……

“Shit. What kind of place doesn’t have an escalator…….”

“Hm?”

Kyle came close. I grumbled back.

“Well, it’s nothing special.”

You don’t even know what an escalator is. Sigh, tsk. As expected of a countryside Northern hillbilly. 

“The stairs move on its own, carrying people all the way up to the top without needing them to climb.”

“…….”

Kyle looked at me as if he had just heard the biggest joke of the century, and then picked me up.

“The stairs won’t move as they are stuck to the wall, but I understand that you are feeling tired.”

“No wait, excuse me…….”

He just picked me up like some luggage.

I glanced at Kyle once and then at the top of the stairs in the distance once, and quickly put aside my resistance. Well, we’re only going to the study so what’s the issue anyway.

While he steadily climbed the stairs, I opened the store.

[Love Love Corner~❤]

……I will never get used to this.

[Current Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×323]

[Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness (Duration : 30 minutes) ｜ ❤×100]

Hold on, the last time I saw it was 320 hearts. Where did the other three hearts come from? Does it increase on its own too?

No matter how much it increased, it was still barely 300 hearts. To need 100 for a single replica hamster…… this would mean it would take a third of what I have now.

How expensive, really expensive.

I glared into a random space in the air.

Do something about the price.

[(〃｀ 3′〃)]

Why. Let’s be honest here, this isn’t cheap at all. And the fact that it’s specifically the replica hamster that I need right now to be so expensive.

……Huh? Wait a second.

[（*゜ー゜*）]

Don’t avoid my eyes.

I narrowed my eyes at the system and hesitantly purchased the replica hamster. Then, a system window decorated with pink hearts popped up.

[‘Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness’ has been stored into the inventory!]

‘No. That’s not it!’

You’ve got to put it in the cage, not the inventory! If I pretended to take my hand out of the pocket and say, ‘Ta-da, your hamster is here~’…… the moment I say ‘ta-da’ would be the moment when my head flies off. Do you not know of Kyle’s personality!?

[‘Replica hamster to sooth the loneliness’ has been stored into the inventory!]

How shameless.

“Haaa…….”

Kyle’s arm slightly shook as he heard my sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“It sure is hard to make a living.”

“Do you lack in money?”

“I wouldn’t say I have a lot for sure. So, in return for taking care of the demonic beast, please pay me plenty.”

As I said that, Kyle opened the door to the study with the other arm that wasn’t holding me.

“I asked for your help first, so I have no intention of providing just a small compensation for your work.”

Good. I couldn’t use my first payment since I have transmigrated, earning Miracle Points was painfully difficult, and the Love Love whatever spent one point every three minutes. I hope to earn a lot of money from now on.

“I will look forward to it.”

We stood in front of the hamster house. Naturally, he began to look for Cashew by lifting up the nest and other items in the house.

“Where did it go?”

It’s obviously not there, you dunce. Because I’m over here.

I imagined pounding myself in the heart with my fist in frustration. I can’t even tell you that I’m your pet hamster. I’d love to tell you but I can’t!

Anyway, move out of the way.

“If you search so abruptly, wouldn’t the beast be surprised and scared.”

Kyle’s hand paused in place. He then nodded in agreement.

“……That makes sense. I’m sorry.”

The apology was most likely towards Cashew. Well, Cashew was also me though.

I nudged him out of the way and carefully patted around the sawdust. How to take out the replica as discreetly as possible……

“You can just touch it. It's clean.”

He said with pride in his voice.

“Cashew potty-trained itself. Isn’t it a genius?”

……Are you crazy? If I went to the bathroom anywhere I wanted, I’d be a beast not a human…… you might be right, in your eyes I must look like a genius.

I looked at him with conflicting emotions in my heart. Kyle truly seemed happy.

“Sooner or later, it’ll start talking too. How cute and clever it is.”

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×224]

Wouldn’t it be strange if it started talking? No way would a demonic beast would speak like a human. My baby has already called me ‘dad’! Is this what you wanted to happen?

You must be plenty happy just thinking about it……

“You look like you’d cry in happiness if your demonic beast really started talking.”

Kyle quieted down for a moment. It seemed he was really imagining what it would be like if Cashew started talking. What was there to imagine though. Can’t you see me chattering away.

While he was occupied, I quickly took out the replica hamster.

“Ah, here it is.”

Act natural. Act natural.

I’m a magician. I was a magician in my past life. I was a magician that shocked the whole nation with a single dove, a piece of cloth, and a hat. I could definitely fool at least one Northern Grand Duke as easy as blowing my own nose.

I pretended to carefully look over the replica hamster in my hands.

‘Hmm.’

This was rather detailed. It breathed, blinked, and moved around like an actual hamster.

When I flipped the replica over to pretend to examine its stomach, Kyle muttered something strange.

“Something’s a little different…….”

I flinched for a moment. ……He knew the difference? What was different? The appearance? Or its behavior?

The replica hamster cried out a squeak. See, the replica could also squeak. Even the voice sounded the same.

However, Kyle frowned even more after hearing it.

“I wonder if it’s hurting anywhere? It’s usually not this quiet.”

“How do you know?”

The system could take note of the difference. Now, give me a thorough feedback.

Kyle’s response was unexpected.

“I know it through love.”

“Love…….”

He was completely charmed. ……I will never get used to this.

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×225]

Different from the Miracle Points, Hearts could increase without doing anything. Right, let’s cheer up. Who knows when another expensive item will appear.

I glanced at Kyle, turned my back slightly, and moved the replica hamster around to pretend to check on it.

“Let’s see, our cute demonic beast.”

Kyle spoke softly behind me.

“My demonic beast.”

Whatever. Stop being possessive and giving me envious looks.

“There are no problems and it is very healthy. However, its weight is a little…….”

Did I really eat that much? I’m starting to feel guilty now that I’m saying it out loud.

“He’s a bit chubby, but there shouldn’t be any problems. You can just leave it alone for now. Since it is in its growth stage, don’t feed it only vegetables. Raw food can also ruin its stomach. Surely you’re not giving it any mealworms or other live food, right? ”

Kyle flinched.

“……I heard rodents like those kinds of stuff. It can learn to hunt too.”

“How savage. Are you planning to raise and release it in the North in the future?”

I spoke harshly on purpose as I carefully placed the replica hamster back into its house.

“Don’t give it anything weird and feed it what humans would eat. Cooked beef, chicken, or something. Demonic beasts can eat oily food quite well so there is no need to feed it only boiled food. ”

That’s right. Boiled food tastes bad. Would telling him to season it be taking things too far?

“Give it some fruits too.”

Kyle listened and nodded seriously.

“Yes, then I’ll do that. But since Sen is no longer here, it would be difficult to procure all those things…….”

He glanced at me as if asking me to take care of it myself. It’s important to meet Kyle in person like this often anyways, and two hours would be more than enough each day.

I nodded with an earnest expression on my face. All for the sake of a quality life of a pet hamster.

“Thank you.”

Kyle said honestly.

“How should I say this…… Right, thanks to you, I can let go one of my worries. In return for caring for Cashew, is there anything you want?”

What is there to think about.

The price of all hard work is, of course,

“Money.”

I flipped my hand and formed a circle using my thumb and index finger as I said that.

“Money is good enough.”

“…….”

“If possible, a lot.”

Now, let’s start shaking the duke’s wallet upside down. If you want to keep a pet hamster, you have to have a lot of money, alright?

--------------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[luckyqueenreign]

Hello o/ I've recently started playing litg again, I left after 4th mid-season after lame-ass Will coupled with Thabi, I haven't played the 5th season bc I've heard that it's hot garbage, could you please tell me why? I don't mind spoilers, but I haven't found any answers other than that. Thank you a lot!

Ohhhh babe settle in while I relive that dumpster fire, this is going to be a long one…

Anyone who’s played s5 will back me on this, If you were annoyed with Will leaving us for Thabi, I STRONGLY advise you to not even *think* about playing s5.

First let’s start off with MC…she was… not cute. For reference:

And I know that after a few weeks fb gave us more options and all of our MCs either became cuter in our eyes or maybe we all just felt extremely sorry for her because of the horrible experience she was having. Let’s get into that next…

Your MC walks into the villa and immediately is greeted by none other than her super hot, narcissistic, cheating ex, Suresh. Normally I would have to tell you oh I did X route so some of my choices will defer from yours if you pick another choice, but NOPE not in s5! Because we had ZERO choice. For first recoupling whether you want to or not, you are coupled with your ex, Suresh. Then he is fawning over you IMMEDIATELY, he’s jealous, running around after you, trying everything to win you back. And you can choose every single positive interaction saying you want him back too and the game doesn’t care. It literally won’t let you get back with him until the very end. But on the other spectrum, if you don’t want to be with him, he will not leave you alone no matter how much you beg.

As for LI choices, at the start you are given TWO. (I say at the start, but to be honest you’re really only give 2 for the majority of the season) One being Alfie and the other being Dana. Now every season before this and every season after, one of the girls always asks if you are into girls and this determines whether they will have girls grafting you or not. Well your answer doesn’t matter here. You could have said I’m the straightest person on earth and Dana would still hit on you everyday and get sad whenever anyone else showed interest in you. Oh and because there were only two other girls in the villa and one being your bully, dana was also meant to be your best friend and CONSTANTLY let you know that she was. By interrupting any and all conversations you were having, even good ones! You’re about to kiss your LI? Here comes Dana! There’s a lot more to unpack on Dana but I’ll get back to her later, just remember she’s your “best friend” in the villa.

As for the bully I mentioned, every season prior to this it’s been clear that whenever someone was coming after us, it’s because they were jealous that MC was “that girl”, s5 blurred those lines and became full on bullying. First with Kat, who went into full attack mode when MC even breathed in the direction of the two boys she was after. Her first and very brief LI was Alfie, who if MC just hugs garners a feral reaction from Kat screeching at her to leave him alone. And then her second LI, Finn who comes in as the first bombshell and Kat drops everything to be with him. Throughout the season anytime she feels any sort of jealousy she takes it out on MC and MC NEVER fires back!

Then we get two new bullies bombshells, Meera and Arlo. Suresh starts heavily flirting with Arlo, which I’m sorry but wasn’t he just up our asses literally yesterday?? And legit, who wrote this season and thought this was ok?? bc even if I hated my ex it wouldn’t be nice to see him flirting with someone else. Meera comes across like a super nice girl while Arlo becomes our second bully! Yay! Again even if you don’t want to be with Suresh, Arlo acts as if you do. And after a prolonged recoupling Suresh chooses Arlo, Alfie chooses MC and Meera is sent home (more on her later) Now if you wanted to be with him you’re probably thinking wtf Suresh?? And if you don’t you’re probably thinking, finally I’m free!! But NOPE when he couples up with Arlo that’s when he decides he’s going super full on and starts going after MC even harder. He wears the shirt she bought him for an anniversary on a date, he tries/kisses MC in the bedroom (depends on your choice) and just overall is doing everything to win MC back except for being honest and dumping Arlo to be with MC. Well Kat sees the kiss/hug/rejection and still tells the entire villa that you and Suresh were kissing in bed. The whole villa erupts, Alfie/Dana rush off and are super pissed at you, they won’t even let you explain yourself. So then you try to go find Alfie/Dana and you go to the roof terrace only to find Alfie kissing Kat or Dana kissing Eddie (if you’re on her route he’s coupled with Dana but she doesn’t really like him) OH and just a reminder, you have past trauma from when your long term ex CHEATED ON YOU. Alfie/Dana knew about this the whole time and yet STILL kissed someone else. Then Suresh takes this opportunity where you’re at your lowest again to apologize for cheating and tells you have until tonight to decide if you want to be with him or not. The girls also ask that night who you want to be with and your given the choice of Alfie/Suresh and when you go to tell one of them who you want to be with….they’re gone! YUP! They’re off to casa!!

And you might be thinking, after all that drama casa might be a nice break! A few days of freedom from the mess that’s gone down. THINK AGAIN BESTIE! While you’re at casa you get a major surprise! Remember that girl Suresh cheated on you with??? Oh yea the producers decide to drop her into YOUR casa villa. So you have to come face to face with Gabby, the girl that your ex cheated with. Now this was obviously a massive departure from the irl show because they’ve never thrown a girl into the girls villa at casa amor before. And remember your bestie Dana?? Oh yea she gets SUPER hot and bothered by Gabby and decides she wants to bring her back into the villa.. now I know you’re probably thinking wait but what if your on Dana’s route?? Obviously she wouldn’t cheat on MC with Eddie and then bring back the girl that Suresh cheated with!! WELL SHE DID BB!!!

Throughout the season we’ve been given very little detail about Suresh and MCs relationship. We know he cheated, he said it was a one time thing, MC found out about it from a picture on his phone. OH how could I forget!! We also find out that MC was going to propose to Suresh!! The day before he cheated she bought a ring! Well that’s all we knew until gabby says nah we were more than just a one time thing, he had a tooth brush at my place! We dated for months!

So now casa is over and we’re going back, the game doesn’t let us go back single and we have to pick either Nicholas or Johnny to bring back to the villa. Doesn’t matter who you choose they go nuts regardless. So now Gabby is back in the main villa thanks to your “bestie” and Suresh is STRESSING. Because obviously he left out some crucial details! And you would think ok we’re immediately going to talk to him? NOPE we need a fucking girls chat with the new casa girls. Lulu, Suresh’s new girl…Meera is back with alfie and remember that nice girl? Well she’s gone and we now have a full on bitch in her place aka Bully #3. Eddie is sent packing and tells us that whichever guy you like / Dana still really likes you and thought about you the whole time during casa. Cool cool cool but will any of them tell you this?? Nah lol! So you get pulled in the middle of your slumber for a chat with Gabby and Suresh. He tells you in front of Gabby he cheated once but then mc broke up with him and he went to gabby and they dated for 5 months. Full on rebound relationship. He tells them both that he never loved Gabby and that MC is the only one he’s ever loved. Well she’s not having that! Gabby goes full on delulu and basically doesn’t accept what he’s said. Now at the time there was major upset online about Gabby not being romance-able bc in all fairness she was extremely hot. So the game now allows you to romance Gabby and you’d think they’d change SOME of the interactions but NOPE they didn’t. So basically the entire time she’s running after Suresh trying to win him back. So much so that she explodes one day and reveals to everyone that he was going to propose!! Shock and awe all around the villa while everyone looks pitifully at MC.. at this point in the gameplay I think we were all so tired at the sheer embarrassment we were enduring weekly. And then Suresh announces hey that wasn’t for you dummy it was for MC!! Buttttt remember when he found out weeks ago that MC was going to propose??? Why tf didn’t he say anything then?? BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE. Oh and speaking of making sense… if you’re on Suresh’s route and you somehow survive the weekly torture, I kind of blacked out at the end, but he proposes and MC obviously wins because she should.

I know I left out so much bullying (Nicolas and Eddie) and so much other shit that goes down, but this was getting too long. Bestie if you’re still here, all in all just don’t play it. You’ll have severe ptsd from it. You’re better off reading all of the fanfics the amazing fandom created.

[pardonmydelays]

There hasn't been much news about him [LMM] lately for a while now until this month, so it's understandable to lose interest (I guess is the right term) in him and his projects. Warriors is definitely a huge step back for him! If he really is collaborating with Taylor Swift on this like we all began to speculate in April, then I would have rather it been some extended version of her song from TTPD featuring him. He is extremely capable of writing songs and creating characters for original musicals (even if they are based on a film or novel), and it just disappoints me that he went this route instead of spend his time and energy on a new original musical. Give me a reason to go to New York! I'm still going to to try and go next year anyway because there's a musical I really want to see (and because I am in dire need of going back), but I'm trying to get into musicals more and Lin just kinda ✨ threw away his shot ✨ with this one. As for Disney, yeah, I'm not entirely excited about that too, especially seeing that he probably chose Mufasa: The Lion King over Moana 2. I love "We Know the Way" and "An Innocent Warrior" the most! And "You're Welcome" and "How Far I'll Go". Bro really could've given us more songs like those in Moana 2... I'm sure the music will be good regardless, but it just lowkey sucks that he didn't write any of them.

I hope he has more, EXCITING projects coming up that he's been keeping a secret...

literally all of this - i agree with every single one of your words and i'm glad someone who's also a fan of his work has pretty much the same opinion about all of this (the warriors, collab with taylor, moana 2). there's really nothing more to say about this. we just have to wait and see what happens.

i don't think losing interest would be the right term in my case tho... it's actually more than that and i don't even know if i want to talk about it, but maybe i should. this fandom fucking destroyed my mental health to the point i don't want to be a member of this community anymore. i'm still a fan. i still follow him and i still love his work. i'm trying to keep up with all the updates. i know everyone here probably thinks i just found myself a new obsession and this is the reason i don't talk about lin anymore. trust me, i listened to in the heights the other day and i started sobbing like a goddamn clown. i still love him and i always will. i think it all went down when i created my musical theatre instagram account and started being more active in the fandom... the energy there is slightly different than here. people are actually fighting for his attention. his birthday was like a fucking shit show of who would do more just to be noticed by him. i kinda started feeling like maybe i am worth nothing because i've never met him, never been to new york (simply because i cannot afford it at the moment) or never been noticed, or maybe i haven't been here long enough, well, i also don't have a motherfucking role in this fandom - i'm not a writer, i don't make art, no talents at all, i'm just here to admire and enjoy his work. it all went too far and i was even too fucking tired to keep answering all the asks i was getting about him (and there was a lot of them at some point, probably because i was the most active member of this community on tumblr and someone who was always defending him and people started treating me like a person who knows fucking everything about him and that's just not true). i enjoyed it for a while. then i stopped. who the fuck even am i to be treated like a goddamn leader of the fandom or whatever the case was. i don't know. all i know is that it was just too much. i appreciate the fact that i was getting so many nice messages from all those people but ugh... i was once asked about discord server for his fans and i decided to create one with a huge help of my mutuals. then i fucking left. my own discord server. i don't even think anyone noticed. lmao. nobody actually asked me why, so that's what i assume. i was exhausted and drained. i just think people are taking all of it too seriously??? it was actually my mistake that i ever let myself think i was worth less than others because of all those stupid things. anyway. i don't want any of this. i hope no one in this fandom even remembers me now, maybe except those people i still talk to. the rest is history.

you may think i am making the same mistake now, but no. it's different. i am just here to have a good time, reblog silly pictures with my silly little tags and maybe make some of my mutuals laugh. i also want the new members of the fandom to feel loved and safe and to know that they are all equally important, doesn't matter if they were here years ago or joined last week. it's all just so fucking stupid. i don't have a role and i don't want one. i'm just here to enjoy it, it's way more fun this way - tumblr is actually great for me again.

i have no idea why i decided to use your ask as an opportunity to tell all of this. i don't know. i'm sorry. it just had to be said i fear.

one last thing, if you really want to get into musicals more, i can recommend you some of my favourites. i have a good taste actually!

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch. 2

Chapter two of Feyre's diary! I hope you enjoy,! Things might pick up in the next chapter

Words: 1.4k

February 7th

Dear Diary,

I feel like death on two legs. These past fews were SO hectic.

I've got the job I applied for and they agreed fairly quick for me to work the night shifts, and now I know WHY! Who would have thought so many people went to a seedy diner at the outside of town in the middle of the night? It's weird and I also need to act like nothing is different because mom knows nothing! She doesn't suspect a single thing! I guess being ignored by her has its perks?

Anyway, I'm not going down that route. Point is, I'm trying to juggle work and school and somehow get sleep at some point of the day, which worked until today when I fell asleep in Mr. Suriel’s class. And guess who woke me up? Rhysand!! He was very sweet about it but I felt so embarrassed, I basically bolted away from him and almost walked into a door. Yeah, I can't look at him anytime soon.

Also, dad is acting very weird lately. He's always in his office and barely talks to any of us if he bothers to show up for dinner, even mom and Elain.

Okay, that's it I think.

Byee

February 15th

Dear Diary,

The moon is so pretty. It's like 11pm right now and I'm not at work, I got this Saturday off to work on Sunday which even gives me a little Sunday bonus! Amazing, isn't it?

Back to the moon, it's beautiful! I've never paid much attention to it but now that I did, I never want to look at anything else again. Sitting in the moonlight and writing in my diary? That's so aesthetically pleasing, Pinterest would eat this up!

I'm also not the only one still awake, I can hear dad’s TV, he's watching the news again, as every evening although he's working much later than usual, mom is super grumpy about this. I think they even argued yesterday, I heard weird noises coming from their room.

I also have good news! Rhysand and I have to make a project together for history!! ME and RHYSAND. It's going to be so fun, as long as I keep him far away from my house. He already asked if we wanted to start the project at his house or mine, of course I said his even though I'm super nervous! We're meeting tomorrow. Should I wear the blue sweater? Maybe I can steal some of Elain’s mascara. Or I could ask her. We'll see, I guess.

I also don't know if I should leave my notebook at home. It's full of scribbles of Rhys's eyes. That's very specific but I just can't get them right! How can a person have such unique eyes? If anyone comes close to having literal starry eyes, it's him. So, what would be more embarrassing, if mom found the notebook or Rhys??

I think I'll leave it here, hide it in my closet. If mom still finds it I can lie and say it's just practice! Hopefully she won't find the R+F scribbled in the back.

I'm getting sleepy now, big day tomorrow.

Bye!

March 9th

Dear Diary,

Rhys and I got an A on our project! It was so easy working with him, it didn't even feel like working. He's not just the most beautiful guy I have ever seen, he's also so nice and incredibly smart! I think he also plays sports, what can't he do? Like, leave some talent for us!

I also got into an argument with Nesta if it's acceptable to use sus as a word. It's way too hard and time consuming to always fully spell suspiceus ous, same with saying it. Shortening it saves lots of time! She says it's stupid and to not use it in front of her friends because it's humiliating. To quote her, verbatim, “Stop trying to make sus happen, Feyre! It's not going to happen!” Rude. It's totally going to happen someday and I'm going to tell her “I told you so.” (She hates that)

Also, after weeks of acting sus, dad finally joined us at dinner and actually talked. Mostly to mom and the topic was the airplane that had just disappeared but nonetheless, he talked and his mood seemed better! He also doesn't look like a caveman anymore for the first time since he locked himself in the office, so that's good.

Mom also almost caught me eating chocolate, which would have been a total disaster. She's always making sure that we, mostly Elain and Nesta, aren't overweight. She's weighing them weekly! It's so insane. Sometimes I bring back some leftovers after my shift and sneak them to Elain and Nesta's room. They accept them and mom hasn't kicked me out of the house yet, so I assume they haven't told her. They also don't ask question when I bring the snacks, they just accept it. Good, that means they don't have to lie for me. Or I don't have to lie to them.

Okay, I guess that's it for the day.

PS: is it normal to constantly have a feeling of impending doom? Is it just PMS?

April 29th

Dear Diary,

Since Rhys and I did our project we've spent much more time together! He's so funny, he always makes me laugh. I think we've even become friends. We shared our lunch today, he got a half of my sandwich and I got a half of his! He even gave me his coke zero because he was shocked when I told him I never had any. It was amazing. (the coke, the company and the lunch)

Rhys told me he's super into astronomy, he's a nerd about it and it's so cute. I never saw him so animated about a topic! I mean, when he talks about himself. For some reason he also looks super interested when I talk about painting, he must be a good actor because I can't imagine him really being interested in art but I appreciate it anyway! No one ever really tried to listen to me about my hobbies.

I think I'm talking nonsense again, I don't know why that always happens. Sometimes my thoughts feel like a big heap of muddled words and everything is going on at once.

Oh, right, I almost forgot the most important thing! Rhys and I planned a sleepover during the summer holidays! I told him that I'd like to have a WiiU someday and he suggested a game night, because he has a WiiU, I'm so excited! I hope the time goes by fast, I can't wait. I need a break, my schedule is so tight these days, it's almost suffocating but I can't tell anyone.

It's going to be worth it, though. I'm saving my money, for what, I don't know yet. Maybe my driver's license? I have time to figure it out.

Mom is out for tea with her friends right now, so I'm using the time to listen to Taylor Swift without headphones!

May 31st

Dear Diary,

I could cut the tension here with a knife but either no one tells me what's up or they don't know. I tried to get some infos from our cook, Alis. She's always nice and she gets wind of all the gossip but she couldn't tell me what's going on.

Something isn't right and I need to know what it is, although something tells me I shouldn't. But can I just leave this mystery unsolved? Of course I can't!

It might be quiet right now, mom amd dad are in dad’s office upstairs, Elain and Nesta are in the garden and all the house staff seem to be huddled somewhere around the kitchen, whispering among themselves. Maybe I could eavesdrop? But there isn't really a way to hide without them seeing me. We definitely need more secret nooks in this house, I can't get information like this.

Nesta always says I'm nosy but that's such a negative way to look at it, I'm just curious. How is she not? How is Elain not? Is it wrong to be curious?

Especially if your parents are super jumpy for, like, the whole last week! It's super sus. Last night I knocked over the salt shaker and they flinched! Mom didn't even shout or reprimand me, she just glowered and went back to her dinner, it was sca–

Oh, hold on, the doorbell just rang, be back in a sec.

Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[flamboyantly-incompetent]

OoTP, Chapter 5 - Something Rotten

Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader

Warnings: hints of child abuse, death mentions

Masterlist

Word Count: ~5,800

Note: Cedric's death should have affected more people imo. I also had a couple blogs in my taglist that no longer route to anything, so if you've recently changed your blog name and still would like to be tagged let me know!

Halloween went by with the usual fanfare: Jack-O-Lanterns lined the walls of the Great Hall and bobbed lazily under the levitation spell, the ghosts even seemed more chipper and some made a habit of spooking unsuspecting first years. Peeves was especially insufferable this time of year, though you somehow managed to scrape by with only one encounter, during which he'd juggled far too many burning Jack-O-Lanterns above your head as you sprinted for the safety of the common room.

October bled into November, which lasted a single day before it was renamed 'Quidditch Season.' The first game was, as usual, Gryffindor versus Slytherin. You didn't go, but you heard from Herbert that Gryffindor won, and Slytherin (meaning Malfoy) were still dirty players and sore losers. That next week especially you avoided contact with the whole Slytherin house. They were in poor spirits and had a tendency to lash out at the nearest person with a cursable face, though by Saturday your lessons with Draco went smoothly enough.

Monday morning found the Great Hall abuzz with excitement. You sat down to breakfast across from Donna, who turned immediately to Hannah Abbott, and said, "What's everybody talking about?"

Hannah grinned. "Hagrid's back! People are taking bets on how soon Grubbly-Plank goes back into retirement.

The doors to the courtyard flew open with a bang to reveal a snow coated Hagrid. His reception was mixed. Several Gryffindor students leapt from their seats to greet him, but others seemed to turn one or several shades of green. You yourself smiled happily, ready for more interesting Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Then you remembered Umbridge, and your smile faded into a grimace.

Yvette met your eye from across the table. Apparently the same thought had crossed her mind.

"I wonder," you began slowly.

She finished, "What he has planned? Me too.

Donna gulped down some pumpkin juice and got up. "Let's go ask him." You followed Yvette and Donna, cutting him off before he could reach the teacher's table.

His eyes lit up from under bushy eyebrows when he saw the three of you, his cheeks already ruddy from the heat of the Great Hall's gargantuan fireplaces. "Well, if t'isn't me favorite fourth years!" He put his giant hands on his hips. "Where's Herb?"

Donna answered, "Hospital wing. Said Peeves dropped something on his head." You shared a look with Yvette, knowing for a fact he was just trying to get out of a History of Magic exam and had dropped a pumpkin on his own head with the levitation charm.

Hagrid chortled. "Madame Pomfrey will have him righ' as rain for the afternoon then. No doubt about that. How've you all been holding up?"

"Good," Yvette said, "but we're happy to have you back, Professor." Hagrid beamed.

You interjected, "We were also wondering when you'd be back to teaching, and what you have planned. Whether it's something..."

"Dangerous," Donna finished.

Hagrid laughed and patted your shoulder, you swayed under the weight.  “Don’t you worry, I've got somethin great lined up for this afternoon, you'll love it.  In fact, you should come down a little early, if you’ve got the time.  I’ve got a surprise.”  He said nothing else, and moved past you to take his place at the teacher’s table. 

That had not, at all, answered your question and had only led to more.  Which was unsurprising.  The three of you shrugged at each other and went back to the Hufflepuff table to eat and cram from A History of Magic before slumping off to Binn’s classroom.

When you got there, Herbert was already sitting at his desk, a bump the size of a snitch on his forehead, grumpily flipping through his textbook.

After slogging through a dozen and a half questions about goblins and goblin rebellions, you pulled Herbert along to the Great Hall, filling him in.  He was, unsurprisingly, less than thrilled at the news that your favorite professor (perhaps a close second to Professor Sprout) had returned and would be resuming his curriculum immediately.

He groaned, stuffing sausage rolls into a pocket in his robes.  “We have to go now?”

“Yes, Herbert,” Donna implored, doing the same, “we can eat later - let’s go!”  She grabbed him by the wrist and began pulling.

“Alright, alright.”  He pulled himself from her grasp and walked along with the group willingly.  “I just hope this surprise of his doesn’t singe my school robes again.”

You laughed, “Oh, come on.  With any luck it’s either something cute or something deadly.”

The four of you hurried down the snowy path, clinging to each other in random intervals to keep from sliding and giggling wildly all the way, to Hagrid’s hut.  It was good to see smoke rising from the chimney again.  The door was open, Fang lay asleep on the threshold, so still if you didn’t know better you’d guess he was dead.  He snored loudly as you stepped over him first.

“Hagrid?” you called quietly.  He looked up from his woodstove, a tea kettle sat over the fire.  In this lighting, you noticed he looked a little worse for wear.  His face was puffy in places, and discolored, but when he saw the four of you he beamed.  Same old Hagrid.

“Come in, come in.  Oh don’t mind the old lug, he’s been asleep for hours.”  He gestured at the chairs crowding a tiny dining table.  “Want a cuppa?”

“Where have you been?” Yvette asked before settling herself into a chair and crossing her arms.  “We’ve missed your lessons.”  Herbert made a noise; Donna stamped his foot under the table.

Hagrid chuckled and set tea cups down in front of each of you.  In his giant hands they looked minuscule.  “I’ll have ye know it’s none of your business, but I was in France.  Visiting a friend.”  You shared a look with Yvette.  “And you’ll all like what I have planned for today.  It’s perfect timing.”  He didn’t elaborate, but the tea kettle began to whistle.  “Just a mo’.”

Herbert cleared his throat.  “So, Hagrid.  About that surprise?”

“Right, right, o’ course.”  He turned back around and put the kettle back on the stove, which started whistling again immediately.  He picked it back up and poured the steaming water into the cups before opening various cabinets.  “Now, where did I… ha!  The ministry had these enchanted for the tournament last year, and Dumbledore convinced them to leave em with me.”  He sat down between Yvette and Donna, a velvet pouch in his hand.  It was squirming.  “You’ll like this especially, Y/N.”

You gasped.  From the bag emerged four tiny but incredibly lifelike dragons.  Dragons.  The green one took to the air at once, flitting around the hut above your heads, while the one you recognized as the Hungarian Horntail let out a wildly adorable roar and a tiny jet of flame.

“I figured these’d be close enough to the real thing, for Advanced Care of Magical Creatures.”  He looked at you pointedly.  

The Welsh Green had settled in a hanging pot of basil, observing from above, while the Swedish Short-Snout lumbered towards your hand and tried to take a chunk out of your thumb.  It pinched a little, but the tiny dragon did not let go.  You laughed weakly, in shock, as you held the thing in your hand.  “Count me in,” you said.  

The Chinese Fireball had snuck up on the Horntail and tackled it, but was no match for the other dragon’s strength and tenacity.  Hagrid pulled them apart before permanent damage could be done.

Herbert whistled.  “This is cool, Hagrid.”

“Well don’ sound so surprised!”

He stuttered, “It’s just that, well you know, I just hoped, oh nevermind it.”

Hagrid herded the three dragons on the table back into the bag, you had to coax the Short-Snout to release your hand, and then stood up to be eye level with the Welsh Green.  He held the bag open, close to it, and pointed.  The tiny dragon leapt up into the air, tucked its wings, and dove into the bag.

“There,” he said, smiling contentedly, “I thought you bunch would get a kick out of that.”

Yvette, who had also not stopped smiling, said, “Thanks, Hagrid.  It is good to have you back.”

“Yeah, but we’d better go,” Donna said, peering out the window.  “There’s already a crowd by the forest.”

Hagrid picked Fang up and put him by the fire, the dog did not wake up but began to snore louder, and led the four of you out of his hut and out into the cold, carrying a bucket full of something absolutely putrid.  He waited until all the other students had arrived, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw shared this class and chatted among themselves to speculate what was to come, and then asked the class to follow him.  He did not take a turn into the forest as you expected, but continued along its edge for several minutes, and only stopped at the shore of the Black Lake.

You exchanged confused looks with several classmates.  Hagrid looked entirely too pleased with himself.

“Now, how many of you’ve heard of the giant squid?” he began.  Most students raised their hands.  “And how many of you think it’s a prank pulled by older students?”  You raised your hand sheepishly, along with a handful of others.  “Not surprising, he’s a reclusive creature, but this time o’ year, if you offer him something yummy he usually shows himself.”  Your jaw hung open.  Hagrid waved again, and led the class to the pier.  He had everyone stand in a line at the edge, held the bucket above his head, and shouted out across the waves, “C’mere Squish!  I’ve something for ya!”

“He named the squid Squish?” Donna muttered.

“Are you surprised?” you muttered back.

For several minutes, nothing happened.  Hagrid pulled an oily fish out of the bucked and dipped it in the black water.  Still nothing.  The students around you began to murmer again.  Then, there was a ripple.

You elbowed Donna.  “Look,” you said, pointing out at the line being drawn in the waves.  Something big was moving under the water.  “Uh, Professor?” you called.

He waved you off.  “Here he comes!  Get ready!”  The line drew closer and closer until it was almost to the pier, and then.  It was gone.  Hagrid deflated just a bit and reached again for the bucket.  Before he could touch it though, two huge, jet black tentacles erupted from the surface, spraying everyone with frigid water, and grabbed the whole bucket and disappeared back under the water.

Donna looked at you, mouth agape, then turned to Herbert.  “Do you still have those sausage rolls?”

“Yeah, but I was gonna-”

“Can I have one?”

“But-”

“Oh, come on.  I’ll proofread your Divination assignment?”

Herbert sighed heavily, and reached into his pocket.  Donna beamed.  You, Yvette, and Herbert followed her as she elbowed her way to the end of the pier next to Hagrid.  She held the roll above her head and called, “Uh, Squish?  I’ve got somethin else for ya!”  The Ravenclaw next to you looked at Donna in horror.  Hagrid only egged her on.

You watched, enthralled, as a gigantic, black shape glided out from under the pier.  The Black Lake, murky as it was, left much to the imagination, but if you had to guess you’d say that Squish was at least ten meters long.  Donna held the sausage roll out like you would feed a horse a carrot - on the palm of her hand, fingers well out of the way.  A smaller tentacle reached out slowly, much gentler this time, and plucked the roll out of her palm.

The class was speechless.  If there hadn’t been the constant thrum of water against shore, you could’ve heard a pin drop.

Hagrid clapped again, grinning ear to ear, and said, “He’ll be happy now, he’s had dinner and desert.”  He clapped Donna on the shoulder.  “Right, let’s move back onto shore and we can finish up the lesson.”  

The class gathered around Hagrid on the stony shore in stunned silence.  Clearly, even if they believed the rumor, no one expected the creature to be so big, or get so close.  A majestic creature, sure, but what was it doing in a freshwater lake?

Hagrid seemed ready to answer your question, as he began, “Who can tell me the typical stomping grounds of a giant squid?”

A Ravenclaw, a muggleborn you’d met through the DA, raised his hand.  “They’re deep sea dwellers.  So what’s this-”

“One doing here?  An excellent question Mr. Goldstein.  A normal giant squid is only expected to live five years or so, but this one’s been living in our very own lake for at least a century.  So, what’s special about this one?  Ordinary creatures, when they interact with existing magical traces in unexpected ways, can turn magical.”

A thought occurred to you; you raised your hand.  “Like the magical barrier surrounding Hogwarts?”

“Exactly!  That is my own theory, Dumbledore agrees it’s likely.  And ever since then, his lifespan has increased, and he’s far more intelligent than a typical giant squid.”

The Ravenclaw spoke up again, “But what about the other things in the lake?  Don’t they get territorial?”

“Another excellent question - five points.  Now the funny thing about that, we learned from the merfolk last year.  Apparently, they’re able to share because they’ve established hunting grounds, and Squish hunts a number of nasties the merfolk don’t like, like Grindylows, which he’s only able to do because he’s been changed by magic somehow.”

The class continued to pepper Hagrid with questions, apparently the idea of a magically mutated animal fascinated most of the Ravenclaw students, right up to the chime of the bell echoing from far away.  The castle was a long walk away and by the time you got back inside, in front of a fireplace, you excused yourself to skip a trip to the library and went to go lie down for the hour before dinner.  About five minutes in, Wilbur found you and began kneading into your chest.

The week trudged on, Donna proofread an assignment for Herbert as promised - an essay comparing Herbert’s astrological sign to his older brothers’ - and on Saturday morning, instead of going straight to the Quidditch pitch, you actually joined your friends for breakfast.  It was the last Quidditch match before the holiday break - Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw.  Yvette had been a vibrant cluster of nerves and excitement all week and by the time she sat down in the Great Hall she was practically bouncing off the walls.  Luna Lovegood was wearing a cloak that looked like raven’s wings, along with a large hat with a protruding beak.  When you asked her about it, she opened the beak, which promply played the Hogwarts’ anthem in a series of caws.

The match did not go well.  Wanda Clemm had apparently just been dumped by her girlfriend, and was even more inconsolable after what she called the worst performance of her life.

Your tutoring sessions with Draco Malfoy continued in relative civility into December - Professor Sprout had the class preparing the fire-breathing snap dragons for hibernation over Christmas break - and you were loathe to admit it but you’d grown rather comfortable with the arrangement.  The Dumbledore’s Army meetings continued as well, and before break, you planned to ask Harry Potter about your friends possibly joining.  The more you learned from him, the more you believed the urgency of the threat.  

The last week of term, you sat at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, surrounded by sparkling evergreen trees topped with stars that twinkled and sent out tiny flying reindeer at odd intervals.  Donna and Herbert were discussing their holiday plans next to you; Yvette had been in a perpetually sour mood since losing to Ravenclaw and was angrily flipping pages through Intermediate Transfiguration pretending to study.

A gentle thrum signaled the arrival of at least a hundred owls prepared to drop off mail.  The first few dropped in to circle the tables, and as more and more joined them you spotted your mother’s owl - Bertha.  She settled on the table and held out her leg casually while she began preening.

Dear Y/N, I hope your year is going well, we all of course miss you at home and are excited to see you for Christmas!  The shop is doing well, we may have to expand next year but that’s so long as the prices at Apothecary in Diagon Alley stay so inflated.  It’s been a boon to have so much of their business transfer here.  Your Screechsnap misses you, so does Buttercup, and so do we!  We’ll pick you up at Kings Cross at noon? Love you, Mum & Julien

You smiled to yourself; you missed the family’s King Charles Spaniel called Buttercup too, and you could already smell your step-father’s homemade cauldron cakes.

Ezra Roberts sat down next to your group.  “Hey, Yvette.”

She looked up, surprised.  “Hey.”

“I’m writing a Christmas card for Mr. Diggory; I wondered if you wanted to write one too.  Any of you.  I’m asking most of the house.  Nothing too fancy, just… you know.”  You nodded without thinking.  Before you could take it back, Ezra clapped you and Yvette on the shoulders and grinned.  “Great - I’ll need them before term ends.  I really think he’ll like hearing from people.  See ya later!”

What had you just agreed to, exactly?  Yvette saw the look on your face and burst out laughing.

“What do I even say?” you asked, incredulous.  “I barely knew Cedric.  Oh stop laughing at me, you’re on the Quidditch team at least, you can talk about that.  I’ve got nothing.”  You groaned and put your face in your hands.

Yvette patted you on the head.  “There, there, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”  You shot her a look.  “Yeesh, fine, just write about what you do know and wish him a Happy Christmas.  You don’t have to pour your heart and soul out for every single person on the planet.”

“But if she didn’t she wouldn’t be the Hufflepuff we all know and love,” Herbert snarked through buttered toast.

There was a sudden hush as across the room a bench screeched against the stone floor.  Draco Malfoy stormed out of the hall, shoulders slumped, not at all his usual haughty gait.  During your tutoring session two days ago, he’d sounded perfectly normal.  As normal as ever, anyway.  The silence broke in a growing thrum of whispers.  Ernie and Hannah sat down, gossiping quietly; you leaned over to ask, “What’s going on?”

Hannah laughed, embarrassed.  “It’s really not funny, I almost feel bad for laughing.”

“Oh, come on,” Ernie interrupted.  “It’s kind of nice to see him knocked down a peg.  I heard that his parents don’t want him home for the holidays.”

“What?  Why?” you asked.

Ernie thought for a moment.  “I’m not sure, I think they had some kind of row or something.”

“Huh?”

“Malfoy and his dad,” Hannah said.  “I heard from Justin, who heard from Padma Patil, that Dean Thomas overheard him complaining to those thugs who follow him everywhere that they had a spat about the family’s ‘rightful status.’”

You grimaced, wondering if they were arguing about Draco working for the Ministry.  

Donna weighed in, “Yikes.”

“Oh yeah,” Ernie said, spewing toast crumbs across the table, “a gem.”

You excused yourself to hurry after him, spurred on by some unidentified sense of duty, and caught him on the dark stone stairs to the dungeons.  “Hey, wait!”

He turned and looked at you coldly.  His face seemed paler than usual.  “What is it?”

“Are you really staying here for Christmas?”

He scowled and crossed his arms.  “How did you know about that?”

“Everyone is kinda talking about it.  How come?”

“Because you gave me the bright idea to disobey my father.”  He jabbed a finger at you as he said it, and his sleeve pulled back just enough to show a hint of discoloration.  Your heart sunk to your feet.  “And then he asked where I got such an idea, and then-”

“He found out about-”

“Me being tutored by a Hufflepuff, my undignified career goals.”  He crossed his arms again.  “So I’ve been banished.  So if you’ll excuse me, I need to unpack.”  He turned on his heels and disappeared down the stairs.

After forcing yourself to listen to Professor Binns all morning, you spent the break before lunch in the library, either staring blankly at a card with a glittering poinsettia on the front, or starting blankly at the shelves hoping you’d happen across one called An Idiot’s Guide to Greeting Cards.  You had no such luck.  Draco never showed up to lunch.  Hagrid had the afternoon Care of Magical Creatures class pick strips of paper out of a bucket, yours said “Flobberworm,” and when you learned the purpose of them you were wildly jealous of Anthony Goldstein who had picked the strip labeled “Unicorn.”  Hagrid handed everyone their own buckets, and said that whoever created the best treat basket for their given creature would win ten points.  It was not his best lesson, but it seemed like everyone understood that after Umbridge’s visit to the fifth years’ lesson, it was better for everyone to play it safe.

You’d planned on trying again to write Mr. Diggory after dinner, but the common room had been decorated with garlands and the fireplace had been enchanted to burn red and green and gold, and through the enchanted windows blew sparkling snow and the scent of hot cocoa, and you immediately forgot all about  writing a Christmas card in the revelry.

The next morning, though, you remembered.

Draco wasn’t in Herbology, either, though Crabbe, Goyle, and that sycophantic Slytherin girl had shown up to class.  The three of them seemed to be having enough trouble handling their snapdragons on their own, so you waited until everyone else was done, and quickly tended to Draco’s.  Just to keep it alive over break.  After potions, Donna, Yvette, Herbert and yourself all ate a hurried dinner and went straight to the library to get some last minute work done.  You scribbled away at a chart for Astronomy, which was due in an hour, until Yvette brought up what she’d put in her Christmas card to Mr. Diggory.

“I thought he’d like to know that the whole house came out for Quidditch tryouts.  Left out how badly we were demolished by Ravenclaw of course,” she said nonchalantly.  She was only trying to be helpful, but it still felt like nagging.  “I really think once you get started-”

“Look, right now, the only thing I wanna think about is where Ursa Major is relative to Cassiopeia on my birthday.”

“Fine,” she said coldly.  “I’ll see you in Astronomy.”  She swiped her books into her bags and flounced out of the library.

Herbert and Donna were staring at you.  “What was that about?” you asked.

“Well,” Donna started slowly, “it’s just that you’ve been so… absent, lately.  I think she, I mean, we all just kind of… miss you?”

“What?” you asked, incredulous.

Herbert rolled his eyes.  “Come on, you’re all over the place these days.  Most evenings we don’t even see you.  You never come to breakfast on the weekends, and you’re behind in every class.”

“Am not!”

“Name one.”

You smirked.  “Herbology.”

“That one doesn’t count and you know it.”  You huffed and crossed your arms.  “You’re hiding something, Y/N.”

“Guys,” Donna interrupted, bent over her own assignment, “can we talk about this later?  This is due for Ancient Runes tomorrow morning.”

“Am I the only one in this friend group capable of finishing work on time?”

“It will be on time so long as I finish it before Astronomy.”

“You know what?”  Herbert picked up his own stack of books.  “I’ll see you in Astronomy as well.”  

You watched him leave, shocked.  “What is going on?”

Donna did not look up, “You have been a little distant lately.  Otherwise you’d know that Yvette’s granddad was killed in a freak accident last week.  It was all over the muggle newspapers, her mum sent a letter.  Dangerous things have been happening in the muggle world, lately.  Not that you’d have any reason to know about them.  But with how Defense Against the Dark Arts has been going, it would be nice if we could all talk to each other for more than ten minutes at a time.”

The tension in your shoulders deflated.  Maybe you had been less than attentive to your friends.  How were you supposed to know about any of this if she didn’t tell you?  It wasn’t like you didn’t see them everyday.  But then again, you wouldn’t want to talk to someone you felt pulling away.  “And Herbert?”

“Herbert’s been into Yvette since last term.”

“What?”

She smiled into her parchment.  “He never would’ve tried out for Quidditch if he wasn’t.”

“Does she know?”

“Ha, nope.”

“Does he know you know?”

“Nope.”

“Well how do you know then?”

She set her quill down and looked at you knowingly.  “Because I pay attention.”

“Oof, ok.  Point taken.”

You finished the chart with ten minutes to spare, which was just enough time for you to follow Donna to the Astronomy tower; you thanked her three times on the way for sticking around for you.  Yvette didn’t speak to you, and she and Herbert left you and Donna behind on the way back to the common room after class.

Just as you followed Donna through the round painted door, Yvette nowhere in sight, the Galleon in your pocket began to heat up.  Tomorrow night, two hours before curfew.  You bid Donna goodnight and sat down in an armchair before the fireplace with the pretense of finally writing that Christmas card.  Instead, you wrote a quick note to Harry Potter, figuring you could send it discreetly by owl in the morning.

To do so, though, you had to wake up at the crack of dawn.  Across from you, Donna still slept soundly, and with the curtains pulled tightly shut on Yvette’s bed you weren’t even sure if she was there or not.  You left some treats on your pillow for Wilbur and snuck out through the common room to the Owlery.  Donna and Herbert joined you for breakfast; Yvette sat at the other end of the table.  You watched for the owls, when one swooped down next to Harry Potter with your note, you saw him read it, and immediately show it to Hermione Granger, who in turn looked up to make eye contact with you from across the Hall.  Transfiguration was your only class of the day, after lunch, so when your friends excused themselves to get to their own electives, you met her, Harry, and Ginny’s brother in the courtyard under the clock tower.

“You know Ginny, right?” Ginny’s brother, Ron, asked.

You nodded.  “And Luna.  But Ginny’s the one who told me about the, uh, study group.”

“And you want to invite some people?  For tonight?” asked Harry.

“Yeah, if I can.  They’re just friends from my house.  Two of them are muggleborns, and they’re going home for Christmas, and even their families can tell something’s off.”

Hermione nodded.  “They’ll have to sign up, but the room shouldn’t have any problem scaling for a few extra.”  She and Ron both looked to Harry to confirm, who nodded.  “We’ll be by at dinner.  It’s still a secret until then.”

“Thank you.”  A weight lifted from your shoulders.  “See you then!”

You hung out in the library until lunch, nestled in between two bookcases in front of a window, trying once again to write a Christmas card.  Snow was falling gracefully outside, and you were content to watch it idly until something black, moving fast, caught your eye.  Someone on a broom, high above the Quidditch pitch.  You wondered for a moment if it was Yvette, if she’d skipped Divination for an end of term practice, but the glint of silver on the figure’s head disproved that theory.  Even from a distance, the black blur of Malfoy as he buzzed around the pitch, when he stopped and just hung in the air, seemed a bit lost.

You cursed under your breath and put a piece of parchment over the blank card.

Hi Mum!  And Julien! Do you think I could stay at Hogwarts for break?  I think I may have given a friend some bad advice, and I don’t want to leave them alone on Christmas.  Give my love and apologies to Buttercup, please. Happy Christmas, Y/N

You read back through the letter once, shocked you’d called Draco a friend without a second thought, but you could deal with that later, and headed for the owlery for the second time.

Yvette broke her silence at lunch, asking about an essay on the Shrivelfig due for the fourth year Herbology class the next day, so you took the opportunity.

“So, Herbert said I’ve been hiding something,” you started.  Donna, Herbert and Yvette leaned in, listening, so you could speak quietly.  “He was right.  I’m sorry, I realize this isn’t amazing timing, but if none of you have plans after dinner, I can show you what I’ve been doing.”  They all wore the same dumbfounded expression.  “It’s kind of a secret, so that’s all I can say until then.  Just, come to dinner and then if you want you can go back to not speaking to me.”

Yvette leaned back, her arms crossed.  “Have you written that Christmas card yet?”

“Not yet, but I will,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Well then I guess we’ll have to see.”

Transfiguration went better than you’d ever dared to hope - you successfully transformed your cat Wilbur into a white marble drinking goblet and back again.  Your friends joined you for dinner, and, as promised, Hermione came over after most other students left to pack for the holiday.

She sat down across from Herbert and placed the DA member list on the table, glancing around for teachers, particularly Umbridge.  “We’ve been meeting sporadically, training in defensive magic.  Y/N’s vouched for you if you want to join.”

“Who’s been teaching?” Donna asked, “You?”

Hermione shook her head and said quietly, “Harry’s the only one with the qualifications-”

“Harry Potter?” asked Yvette.

“Well, yes, he’s the only one who’s fought with You-Know-Who and lived, so-”

“Last year, you mean?” asked Herbert, who was side-eying you.

She huffed at the second interruption.  “Last year, and two years before that, and a year before that!  Do you think he’s unqualified?”  Herbert shrugged and looked at his shoes.  “Anyway, we’re meeting tonight.  Y/N can take you, but you have to sign this first.”  Yvette signed without hesitation, which meant Herbert signed next.  

You looked at Donna.  Donna looked back.  “You’ve been learning from Harry Potter, and you didn’t think to tell us?”

You smiled sheepishly, “It was a secret!  And, up until just now, kind of… invite only?”

She rolled her eyes at you and signed the parchment.  Hermione, seemingly satisfied, rolled it up and slipped it back into her robes before departing.  None of your friends had heard of the Room of Requirement before, and when they walked in to see their prefects, among several other Hufflepuff students, surrounded by touching but gaudy Christmas decor, their jaws dropped open.

Harry was chatting with some of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but waved politely at his new pupils when he saw you.  He addressed the room, “Okay!  I think this evening we should just go over the things we’ve done so far, we’ve a couple new people and since this is the last meeting before term, we may as well just get them acquainted-”

Zacharias immediately began complaining, “If I’d known that I wouldn’t have come…” until Yvette shot him a withering look.

Everyone divided into pairs; yourself with Yvette, Ernie with Donna, and Hannah with Herbert.  Starting with the Impediment Jinx, Yvette was a quick study; even with your experience with the DA she managed to hit you more than you could manage to stun her.  Then, the group got out the cushions to practice Stunning, and you watched as your friends held their own, though with varying degrees of success, against some older students.   After a while, Harry called a halt.  He seemed impressed with the progress everyone had made, and mentioned trying the Patronus Charm after break, earning a ripple of excited whispers from everyone.

Grinning and out of breath, Yvette clapped you on the shoulder.  “This is great!  I think I learned more this past hour than a whole semester with Umbridge.”

“Yeah,” Donna said, looking markedly less pleased.  “It’s a wonder it took you so long to invite us.”

You sputtered, “Well I just, like I said it was all very secret, and it is technically against the rules according to Educational Decree something or other.”

Donna waved a hand dismissively.  “Who cares about that old toad?”

“My mum, for one,” said Herbert, grinning, “she’d be livid if she knew I was disobeying someone from the Ministry.”

All around you, people were filing out in twos and threes.  Hannah turned to wish Harry a Happy Christmas, but before she could say anything, her face fell and she tapped Ernie on the shoulder.  The four of you turned around as well; it was Cho.  Standing in front of Cedric’s picture that had been taped under some clippings from the Daily Prophet on the mirrored wall.  You all tapped the other Hufflepuffs as they passed you, and they all stopped, except for Zacharias Smith, who simply rolled his eyes and left.

Her shoulders shook; Hannah flinched.

“Cho?” she said, tentatively, the rest of you moving up carefully behind her.

Cho startled, and turned around, sniffling.  “Oh, Hannah.”  She hastily wiped her eyes.  “I thought you’d already-”

“We just, sorry, we just wanted to tell you that, um,” Hannah looked around at the rest of you, “we’re with you.  We miss him too.”  A few students around you affirmed this quietly.

“Thanks,” she said quietly, still patting her puffy cheeks.

“He was a good person,” Ernie said.

She nodded.  

Yvette added, “Who deserved better.”

Cho let out a choked sob.  You, eyes burning, reached a hand out and patted her lightly on the shoulder, which only made her cry harder.  “Sorry,” you said, embarrassed.  Cho’s friend sidled up to her, looking at all of you suspiciously.

“Have a Happy Christmas, Cho,” Hannah said quietly, before herding the rest of your house back to the common room.

Later, you sat before the fireplace in the common room once again, knit woolen blanket draped over your legs, quill in hand, looking at a blank Christmas card.  Then, you started to write.

~~~ Taglist ~~~

@jemomgershippingco

@snickersmee

@lafrone

@cillshot

[rawliverandgoronspice]

New anon. I've been a few reading your thoughts and general posts, and I really agree so strongly to many of them. Some of my biggest pet peeves in the story were really how weirdly disjointed it felt, with missing reasoning and foundation? If I may share my thoughts? I wish they had genuinely focused more on characters besides Zelda, because by the end of the storyline, and having watched all the tears, I was left more confused and empty, and not satisfied at all. Not to be rude to Zelda, but I really stopped caring about her because I was so hyperfocused on wanting to know more about the Zonai, Sonia, the Sages, and Ganondorf... and then nothing, well except two tears, and they gave almost no plot relevance? It was such a pity. The sages? Who? Why? How? Every sage showing the exact same memory with only a tiny bit of their personality sprinkled, but nothing about them as sages made me miffed. Ganondorf felt really like a missed opportunity, I think you, other anon's and everyone has already said it. In my words: Lost potential. I don't even need a big sobstory or anything, a monologue like in WW? Yeah he's angry that the Zonai are wasting their "god like powers" but WHY is he so angry about it? How are the lives of the Gerudo? Why are they split? Even if he was raised to crave power, just getting more of a look at why would have been nice. The Gerudo sage would have been a perfect candidate to get some explanation. (I'd have much preferred that over some of the more slice-of-life Zelda tears tbh.) I know it's called "The legend of ZELDA!" But I always took that to be more along the lines of "This is the legend of Zelda, but we (the player) see the legend from behind the scenes." Zelda being a major player and royalty would obviously be more interesting to in-universe historians, and easier to write down, with Link always just being "The hero clad in green!" But us, as the player, we see what really occurred, how the hero came to be, and that he's not "just a hero" but he's actually just a guy, who then takes up the mantle of hero. I just wasn't too invested in Zelda's story, especially since she's just background noise for a lot of the story. (Idk how to best word it, pardon me.)

Hello, thank you for the ask and sorry for taking so long to reply!!

Yeah, I mean I don't even think that Zelda got much opportunity to be a character either, despite her being the throughline for most of it. I don't feel like I learned anything new about her character that I didn't know from BotW, and some aspects developed in that game were gone entirely. As you said, she does feel like background noise, a witness to other people's story. Her nerdiness is set-up and then never really paid off (despite her and Mineru interacting), she gets no personal interaction with Ganondorf... I actually don't think they ever speak to one another directly, for the whole game????

Just went out to check that out and... Ganondorf says Zelda's name to her once, then Zelda asks him how he knows their name. That's it. That's the entire sum of their conversation in the entire game, and it happens in the first 5 opening minutes. Unless you count fake Zelda, but even then that would only be a single sentence, and honestly I don't think it counts?

The more I dig around and the more I'm truly baffled by some of the narrative choices made in this game. Like I want to be Normal about it again (and managing, slowly, just getting through the last asks) but.... honestly I don't understand what happened. The straight up refusal to build up any kind of actual dramatic tension between the leading trio is so baffling to me. Like, not to dip back into the TotK Rewrite Well, but: why didn't they fully commit to the OoT route, since they were already so far down, where Zelda is the only one to suss out Ganondorf is out to get them, and so the tension is concentrated between the two of them, where she tries to save Rauru and Sonia from his scheme but can't (which would also give weight to her sacrifice as she turns into a dragon)? Then you'd have an actual reason to feel invested in the plot and want to avenge her and those she cared about! Why are the stakes so split out between Rauru, Zelda and Mineru, to the point where nothing has any oomph and you, as Link, feel pretty much uninvolved in the entire situation?

Like, sure the buildup to the final fight was amazing, the soundtrack is sooooo sososo good, the mood and ambiance is probably at its best, the fight itself is a little treat, but. I really felt like I was a Hyrule appointed cop having to walk into the freaky abandoned basement and yelling "sir I've been mandated by the royal family to formally ask you to stop dumping experimental chemicals into the sewers of the kingdom" to the local weirdo squatter in his broken hot tub, and then fighting about it.

But personal investment and stakes really didn't land for me. I was glad to see Ganondorf, tho I would have prefered him telling me anything other than generic anime villain stuff before repeatedly punting my face into the floor. But yeah. The story was disjointed, and it kept me from enjoying the extremely carefully crafted mechanics to their fullest capacity. :(

[0shewrites0]

Hi! So I recently replayed both Lucas and Henrik routes in a really long time and there's something that makes me think.

We all know it goes Henrik wanted to pick Priya at the Disaster Recouping and Lucas was Hope. But, Henrik also likes Lottie, somehow he doesn't even glance at her? And you have Lucas suddenly worried about Priya who barely showed interest in. What happened there?

Now the guy who returns saying they would have chosen MC if they had the chance is a whole other thing. But the part that gets to me is the fact they'd make Lucas emphasize more than once that it's MC he was after. Yet, for some reason seemed to put more effort into how "disappointed" he was and how he doesn't like MC much, to the point he comes off as fake and Henrik comes off as more genuine. Does that make sense?

Like what is "You read things wrong" supposed to mean and why are you talking about a "spark" when you were dissing me five seconds ago?

I do think it had more to do with FB's cluelessness and laziness that seemed like an extra effort to emphasize no one is supposed to be happy they don't get who they want, but then go and insert "I knew you were the one I wanted" into his dialogue.

Like not to be biased, but you're making the man say it more than once and if that was his supposed "initial choice" then I don't see why the "no one is happy" was forced onto him as well, especially if you've been nothing but nice. He just ends up looking like he has a split personality.

Hey there!

So I just replayed s2 and I made Lucas get dumped before Casa Amor. I told him on the night it was announced that he was up for dumping along with Rahim and Rocco that I would’ve wanted him to stay. Then when he got dumped a day later I stayed with him (I took the gem choice) and made it clear that I would’ve coupled up with him if I’d had the chance. But I didn’t kiss him or did anything else that would be considered cheating.

I came back single from Casa Amor while Henrik had obvs switched to Blake, then saved Elijah for Chelsea and Henrik and Blake got dumped.

I’m currently coupled up with Bobby so when Lucas re-enters the villa on day 24 I’m acting really happy to see him again. He kissed me on the cheek and made it very clear that he would’ve chosen me to couple up with if he had stayed in the villa. Then he asked me how it’s going with Bobby and I answered that I was still waiting to be swept off my feet. When the date ended, I pecked him on the cheek and he did too and then we went back.

I did take the roof terrace gem choice later on but - again - didn’t cheat on him and later at night during the party I met him up there as well. He told me he really wanted me but didn’t want to put me on the spot and because I STILL didn’t want to cheat I told him I just wanted to chill, so that’s what we did.

Honestly, I really don’t know where he says stuff like “You read things wrong” or tells MC that he’s disappointed/that he doesn’t like her that much. Maybe you can clarify that? Because it never happened on my route.

Now, here are my thoughts/opinions on everything else. I said it in another post but I’ll repeat it here:

We were always supposed to participate in Operation Nope and kiss Noah so that he’d couple up with us during the disaster recoupling

IF it’s Lucas who’s still in the villa while Henrik’s gone, it really makes a lot of sense for Lucas to pick Priya because Hope is coupled up with Jakub and MC is coupled up with Noah by then. Marisol never interested him and don’t even start with Lottie

BUT I honestly think Lucas’s route wasn’t supposed to go like this in the first place. He was supposed to be “the one that got away” and that’s why they make him emphasise multiple times how he’s come back for MC and for MC alone and that he remembers what she told him the night he was voted to get dumped and whatnot

People are always complaining how it doesn’t make sense for Lucas to be so “pushy” about being intimate with MC when they’re forgetting that 1) he’s not pushy because he accepts your “no” without being pissy or sarcastic about it and without trying to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do and 2) he’s watched the woman of his desire crack on with the boys in the villa for two weeks while he was stuck at home having to WATCH her without being able to do anything more. He’s ACHING to kiss her and act out all his fantasies. And that’s so fucking hot, please.

Remember how he tells Gary on day 5 that he “doesn’t bed everything that walks”? And that still stands true. EVEN at this point. That’s exactly why he later on breaks up with MC, too, if she decides to cheat with him. Because MC knew that and she still let him get his way EVEN THOUGH she was coupled up with someone else at that point. Cheating is such a huge red flag in his eyes. And yes, maybe he’s testing MC here who knows? Maybe it’s bad writing or maybe it’s a mix of all three, i don’t know

Now with Henrik, it’s different. Because Lucas - unlike Henrik - will almost always say that MC is his type while you have to put in effort to get Henrik to say your name. You basically have to reject Lucas all the time. That tells me that Henrik wasn’t supposed to re-enter the villa on day 24. Henrik’s route was meant to be more of a slow burn I reckon. But maybe that’s just my opinion.

Also, why is he picking Priya without so much as a glance at Lottie? Well, that’s crystal clear. HE is actually the one to ask Lottie “trouble in paradise?” the day the dumping on day 7 happens. Lucas, Henrik, MC and Lottie are chilling on the lawn when Gary joins them and Lottie asks him to get her and MC the cuppas he had promised, then proceeds to say “I can’t put my finger on him”. Henrik is highly empathetic and he knows there’s unfinished business between her and Gary; and not just from watching the show (he saw their kiss the night Hannah was dumped, don’t forget that!) He probably also realised that Lottie wasn’t an option BECAUSE she was so hung up on Gary. So why would he force someone into a couple who doesn’t want to be there? Henrik is the opposite of selfish so that would be highly ooc for him. That’s why he then chooses Priya if we’re already in a couple with Noah.

Does that make sense for you? If not, my inbox is always open! It might take me a while to respond to your ask tho <3

[actualbird]

Hey Zak!

I just read your analysis on marius and emotional distancing and I agree! I think on top of that, he's also the type to bottle it up, if that's the right term for it.

There's one Marius scene that really stuck with me, above all the romantic stuff. (i don't remember which story it's from, i just remember what he did). Marius was talking about something traumatizing, then in the blink of an eye, he was smirking at us, all smug and asking us if we really fell for it.

Once I noticed that, I start noticing it in all Marius angst stories. Every time he talks about something traumatizing, he typically changes the topic in the middle. Which is to be expected when it's something that traumatizes him, but the thing is, the trauma gets mentioned, and we see him being vulnerable. Then, it's like a switch flicks in his head. Like "Oh wait, I'm talking to jiejie", and he immediately clams up and starts teasing us, going back to the flirty brat we met at the start.

I can't think of a single time when he mentions something traumatizing, and we actually get him being completely vulnerable as he tells us about it all, not just part of it before he swaps to flirty and confident mode.

I was kidding when I told some of my friends that "marius is the type to be having an emotional breakdown and saying 'i'm fine, it's fine, why do you think i need help'", but now I think it could actually happen.

irt analysis on marius and emotional distancing

hi roshie-writes!! first off, im v sorry im getting to this ask very late OTL but im happy to hear u agree with that analysis :D

additionally, this ask is rlly interesting cuz yEPPPPPP, I AGREE ON ALL THIS TOO

that whole thing of Drops Vulnerability And Then Shifts To Playful Aloofness is SO VERY common in marius stories, and i personally first clocked it in the Lost Gold event. in like, the very first scene of his LG route, marius tells mc that she must think him naive for wanting to trust bryce and in general just confesses some insecurities hes got. and then the moment mc shows him sincerity, concern, and worry, he immediately shifts and is like "AWWWW UR WORRIED ABOUT ME >:3c" which makes me (and mc) wanna affectionately strangle him.

another more recent instance of this tendency happens in his blossom chapter personal story 4, right when he actually tells the full story of the Basement Incident. and then not like 5 lines after that, he gets flirty, glosses OVER ALL OF THAT WORRYING INFORMATION, and then says "Yeah, that's my good girl" to mc with a smirk on his face.

this personal story 4 instance stands out to me for three reasons:

1) simply cuz the Basement Incident full story lives in my mind rent free and

2) the "Yeah, that's my good girl" is notorious cuz i regularly see screencaps of that line do rounds on twt with ppl simping over it, me included, cuz my god marius KNOWS how to be flirty, like, lemme just drop the screencap cuz Im Not Immune To Marius von Hagen

and 3) the fact that this above screencap regularly makes rounds w ppl going crazy over how hes a flirty bastard (affectionate) really makes me go nuts cuz.....aGAIN. HE DID THIS LIKE 2 SECONDS AFTER CONFESSING HE NEARLY DIED AS A CHILD. LIKE...to an extent, his deflection here worked even outside of the realm of the in-game story itself, it's working on the players too cuz we're busy going MARIUS! VON! HAGEN! over the flirting that, again, attention is taken away from the thing he doesnt want anybody to pay attention to

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS........

i talk a little bit abt this bait-n-switch tendency of his in an old analysis i wrote, marius von hagen, facade vs. sincerity, harsh truths vs. persisting hope, and my thought abt this tendency hasnt changed from the insight i gathered back then, which went:

marius casually has the tendency to “act” a certain way to get things like praise and reassurance, which could arguably interpreted as him using facades (which in this situation i think is actually him just saying theyre facades, theyre actually sincere, but he hides that, says it’s just an act) to acquire the deep seated sincerity he wishes. here, facade is a medium by which to acquire sincerity from others. 

this is partly because of what you say which i agree with. he still wants people to care about him (because thats an innately human desire we All want) but at some point, he realizes hes talking to mc and hes gotta dial it back. and why does he dial it back? because he doesnt want her to worry. she matters to him, and he doesnt want her to be upset over him, so shifting the conversation into something playful can effectively stop worry in its tracks or, at the very least, delay it.

but i also think this is because revealing these gutpunch things like trauma or insecurities is, at the end of the day, a vulnerability

and marius is in a position where he cannot be vulnerable. vulnerability can put him (and maybe even people who matter to him too) in danger.

as much as his deflection, disconnection, and repression is a method for him to deal with his own things himself, these methods are also a way for him to protect against others. he needs to act like these vulnerabilities dont matter to him at all, because then theyre less likely to become weakpoints for an enemy to exploit.

and marius is also in a position where hes got a Lot of enemies. so many people would quite like it if they had something to hold over the head of Pax, mr interim-CEO himself

it's at times like these i really appreciate that marius' nxx codename is King, because it is sosososoososoo fitting for him, specifically due to the chess definition of the term.

the king is simultaneously the most important piece (which garners many enemies and ensures everybody wants to be able to put the king in check or checkmate), AND arguably the weakest piece too (full of vulnerabilities and weakpoints that need to be Constantly guarded against). the king is literally a piece thats meant to be hunted and protected, because thats the entire point of the game, and thats a lot of what marius has to deal with too. marius, to me, feels like hes constantly playing 4D chess in an effort to protect himself and make it look like hes protecting no weakpoints at all, weakpoints Dont Exist, if u saw them, no u didnt, because he needs to appear invincible

all eyes are always on him, for better or for worse. and when everybody is watching, allies and enemies alike, it seems way smarter to just hide and minimize vulnerability completely than to risk getting stabbed in the back for it.

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Mag 33

*Waves excitedly* Hi Tim!! It's so nice to meet you in person! <3 I'm glad you've arrived to point out problems and try and make Jon do his job properly.

Grumpy >:(

Thank you Tim for the canonical confirmation that normal people do listen to these tapes as part of standard research and study. This is absolutely essential to the inherent comedy of Season 1 and you are an angel for bringing this to our attention.

Fuck me this is so clever. Pointing out that the dates around Hill Top Road are canonically inconsistent during an in-universe moment where the characters are clarifying non-canonical inconsistencies with their own narration of events, thus disguising the fact that time, space and reality actually are inconsistent around Hill Top Road in-universe. This is so clever!!

Imagine doing a PhD in manifestations. What does that even mean.

Also Jon is being Very Grumpy >:( If you don't care about the answer, don't ask the question Archivist. Tim's trying really hard to be chipper and you're not helping.

God it's so good getting these parantheticals describing their tones. I'm really happy that I'm actually reading the transcripts, this is great.

Tim. Tim. Tim. Look at me. Are you saying you've been working in the Archives for months with no idea what the statement IDs meant and you're only admitting it now? Did you not realise the numbers correlated to anything before this moment? If so, you're the most valid motherfucker in this entire Institute and you deserve a raise.

In all seriousness though, this is incredibly understandable. I have actually done it twice! In a previous job at a hospital I worked in Medical Records (which was very similar to an archive) and I was there for months before I figured out that there was a logical sequence to the MRNs (Medical Record Numbers). I thought they were just long strings of unique numbers. And in my current job I work with educational course codes (processing multiple different subject and qualification level codes each day, sometimes working with the same ones for months) and I literally had this job for years before I was told the system behind the codes and learned to actually start using them properly. Before this I relied on route memorisation, and if I forgot a code I was just fucked because I didn't know it was possible to figure them out from context.

In conclusion, Tim is definitely great at his job and deserves a kiss on the lips from me as a reward.

There's so much great stuff here. What happens if there's two statements on the same day? That just never happens? Like, in the entire history of the Institute? How? Why not? Is the Eye on a diet or something? There's definitely instances later in the series where Jon takes more than one live statement in a single day. Does he not allocate them numbers?

This would also imply that the Research department takes, at most, seven new statements a week (both real and fake). That's ridiculous. Although it might explain why there seems to be an inconsistent amount of follow-up for each statement before it arrives at the Archives. If there are so few coming through, looking into them is probably not the main focus of the department. It might even be an afterthought, 'If we have spare time, we might spend Friday looking into a few statements' kind of a job, not something that is prioritised.

Did Gertrude come up with this system? She could have inherited it from the previous Archivist, but it does line up with her policy of making the Archives deliberately disorganised and difficult to extract information from. If she did implement this date system, then that means at some point she went back through every single statement in the Archives (all of them, not just the real ones) and re-numbered them all. Fuck off.

I can see why Jon is not keen to fix her batshit system and implement a new one. Although obviously that's what he should be doing (you could start by using a more efficient date system on new statements and temporarily running both systems at once until you've updated the historical statements) but it would be a massive undertaking and I do not blame Jon at all for not prioritising it given the state of the Archive and also the fact that monsters are real and after him, specifically.

First 'good lord' of the series?? This epsiode is giving us so much.

Also... *raises hand sheepishly* it was me. I complained about that one. I'm sorry Jon.

Uh oh, Tim's cheery demeanor is wearing thin and Jon is boiling over!

It's good to get a reminder that the statements we are hearing are only a small number of the total 'mountain' that the team are working on, and that they are distinct because they can only be recorded to tape. Also seeing how Jon's attitude towards that has changed since Mag 1 is great. He was so composed and in control back then! Now just the reminder that he needs to read the bad statments is enough to have him freaking out.

Tim calming the Archivist down like he's a spooked horse is great, the fact that it works is even better.

And thank you Jon for confirming what was obvious but unspoken last time. Reading the statements isn't just an opportunity for him to practice his theatrics, they take an actual toll on him and are exhausting and stressful to deal with, to the point at which he refuses to return to them even for minor corrections.

And Elias is supplying the Archives with extra entinguishers, literally the least he could possibly do. From memory Jon even had to ask for them after Sasha's statement, Elias didn't do this on his own initiative. Still, it does imply that he wants the Archival staff to have at least a chance of surviving? Probably because it would be boring and annoying to watch them all just die immediately and have to start over with a new team, but I guess it's better than nothing?

Fucking hell, I will never be able to hear that line again without imagining Tim getting horny over Martin sticking his tongue out for him. This fandom ruins everything (affectionate).

I definitely think that even with his understandable aversion to returning to the bad statements, Jon is being influenced by the Eye here. It doesn't want to be fed the same stale statements that the Archivist already gave it!

But, attitude aside, Jon's not wrong. Re-recording would be a waste of time, and a note in the file outlining the disrepency between the 'digital' and hardcopy versions should be adequate.

There, I defended him once, that makes up for dragging him for the Carla/Clara issue. Now we're square again.

[celestie0]

🪷 ALSOALSO just as I hit the ask button I just..thought about how utterly tragic gojo's life was when he was alive. Nothing but a vessel to hold power, a vessel used by clan structures to maintain the rotting society, a weapon that was seen as a threat or hope but never as a human with his own emotions or feelings behind. None of that was reserved for him.

I know people think Gege is losing his mind but honestly I'm not surprised they went down this route. It's cruel and absolutely fucking brutal but I feel like that's the whole point. To not be freed from the label of "the strongest" even in your death, to the extent that your corpse has to be used to win a fight or get an edge against the villian is a brilliant and cruel way to show the burden of the duty that fell on his shoulders.

If it's any consolation atleast he's with his most cherished people now. I did kind of tear up at the chapter because holy hell. His arc and entire character is genuinely tragic. Everything that has happened so far somehow showed why gojo was so deeply attached to geto and those three years despite everything that went wrong between the two of them. He had someone who saw him as Satoru first and not the six eyes user, who shared his burden and thanked him for his efforts instead of just treating it as something he's supposed to do anyway. It's not in the least bit surprising that gojo still considered him his one and only best friend, regardless of the differences that ultimately separated them.

At the very least his death was kind. To go back to the time you cherished so dearly, surrounded by people you care for, being able to be vulnerable and to finally be able to let go of that burden on you as the strongest. Enjoy your time now, you did everything and so much more to have deserved this freedom.

Man it just hurts ☹️ sorry for rambling but you know I never quit with my yapping

aaa do you mean you sent another ask too bb? i don't think i received it if you did :(

i know. i am so devastated by latest jjk. you're so right, he never had a chance to just be a human. always bottling up his emotions because he felt they didn't matter, he always upheld the burden of being the strongest for the sake of others. even in death, he cannot rest peacefully. i saw a really sad tiktok edit to phoebe bridgers song lyric "always an angel, never enough", and that RUINED me. he was always a weapon, and never a person.

"To not be freed from the label of "the strongest" even in your death, to the extent that your corpse has to be used to win a fight or get an edge against the villian is a brilliant and cruel way to show the burden of the duty that fell on his shoulders."

i agree. it's so wildly dehumanizing and i despise gege for going in this direction, but there is also a part of me that thinks it's an interesting direction to take gojo's character. the problem is, there is no window of light through the story he is telling, and it's starting to become too much. it's different if there was a balance of angst and relief, but to do such a thing to such a beloved character when we haven't known a single chapter of peace in so long is just too much. i personally cannot handle it, but even through my sadness i can kinda see the vision.

"Everything that has happened so far somehow showed why gojo was so deeply attached to geto and those three years despite everything that went wrong between the two of them. He had someone who saw him as Satoru first and not the six eyes user, who shared his burden and thanked him for his efforts instead of just treating it as something he's supposed to do anyway."

agreed, it's so tragic how things ended up for him and geto but i always loved the detail that he never truly hated him, he just hated the things that he did. it's so hard to let go of a connection w someone like that, after all geto was the only one to truly see him as a person. also this is random but people feeling bad for shoko when gojo said geto was the only person he truly called his friend sfkshdfkjsd after latest chap it's so obvious why he didn't really think of her as a friend AHHAH

it's so tough. even in death he simply cannot be put to rest. UGHHH why can't we just have happy things gege. i will go read my hurt comfort fics n cope

-ellie (insert frog emoji here sorry im on pc rn)

[itlivesproject]

i feel like harper's writing is not talked about as much as it should be and i just wanna say that ilw has given me a newfound love for them that ilb hadnt quite managed to do!

also i dont mean this to come across as demanding and greedy but a horny bitch gotta ask: had you ever considered doing a harper pov for ch23 for some sexy times👀 or had that never been in the plans? im aware, and thankful, of how much work it was to do all the devon routes (and ig all those sex scenes were much more, as weird as it sounds, anticipated than the ilb routes bc ilb already had sex but the cast were minors in ilitw. though i wonder if theres a 'diamond' option for devon to just hang out w their friends if they have no li or do they just go to bed?) i cant help but feel like ilb kinda got the short end of the stick somehow, compared to the ilitw cast who were more present in ilw even though its not their story anymore, but ig theyre more connected to the ilw storyline than the ilb cast bc they are from westchester while ilb not.

i still love the story a lot, its quickly become one of my fav 'playchoices' (heh) stories, i just kinda want to start a conversation more than criticise, if that makes sense.

thank you <3 i personally really love harper and i LOVED writing them so much. the ilb scenes were some of my favorite to work on.

to answer your question, let me first say that i am one of the few probably who actually prefer ilb to ilitw. so i went into ilw wanting ilb rights 😂 secondly, i will say that the crux of the answer comes down to technicalities behind writing variants.

interestingly, we actually were considering the idea of Elliot being part of the ilw crew when we first started and having a nerve score! the idea was that a) he's a guaranteed survivor so we wouldn't have to write variants around it and b) he had gone to connor when harper vanished and they were working together more actively in looking for harper. we ended up scrapping the idea however, because he didn't feel necessary. him in that role really felt like extra baggage, and there wasn't really room for a character arc for him. so we changed it to how it ended up being. we also were considering having one ilb crew member being part of the ilw crew as well, since at least two of them are guaranteed to not die and not leave, but that idea quickly got tossed because it was simply too many variants.

when it comes to ilitw, every single character has the possibility of being dead, so one of the earliest things we did was come up with a "contribution" for each character. we didn't want it to be like in ilb, when you just have this awkward one-off conversation with each one and they're all in the same room but not talking to each other for some reason?? so we decided to separate them out from each other more and make their contributions independent of each other. we also had to figure out what happens if they are dead and unable to provide their contribution.

Ava - obviously her contribution was coven leader. If she's dead, Sunny is the leader.

Stacy - she attends the dinner party with rowan and connor and allows you to bring your LI along with you.

Lucas - he helps work on the cure, and his survival is necessary to being able to fully cure the horrors at the end of the game.

Andy - he helps revived devon/noah in the physical therapy scene

Dan - he provides therapy to rowan which comes with some nerve gain

Once we had all these contributions, we had a really hard time thinking about what ILB crews "contributions" would be. And because they weren't from Westchester, it didn't make as much sense for them to be involved. Secondly, because someone's always guaranteed to be alive, the scenes of all of them together are actually a lot easier and possible to write, where ILITW's scenes like that are insanely difficult. so instead of having their "contributions," ilb crew's involvement was mostly considered by us as a group thing, and it was focused around harper's disappearance arc. We had discussed ways to make them more involved, but it didn't really fit and we felt like it distracted from the main story we were trying to tell. It was a tough balance to figure out how to make previous books matter and bring back old characters while giving the new characters the screen time and focus that they needed. I hope this makes sense!

I know a few people were disappointed that Harper didn't do much in chapters 21-23 but you have to understand that Harper could never be instrumental in their success, because they can be dead, and we didn't want to lock mc succeeding behind harper being alive or not. secondly, that ending scene had an insane amount of variants, from rowan secretly being a traitor, to devon/noah who was human and who was the ghost, to LIs dying and/or leaving, and throwing harper into the mix would have been extremely complicated for a character whose involvement wouldn't be able to fundamentally change anything, for the reasons i explained above.

Now, moving onto the horny scenes, we actually were planning on having ilb sex scenes when we first started, but when we realized how many sex scenes we were going to write (it ended up being a grand total of 21 lol) we were like. never mind 😂 the spot it was going to go was actually after harper was saved from the breach and you play as them. originally their leg wasn't broken and they weren't in the hospital, so that's where it was going to go. but as the scenes changed and we got burnt out from writing sex scenes, we decided not to include it, our rationale being a) they're in the hospital and b) they got two sex scenes in ilb whereas ilitw lis haven't ever gotten one. it definitely would not have worked for the epilogue, because I think it would have really thrown off the pacing to just take turns playing as each mc getting it on with their LI lol. but everyone is free to hc what harper and their LI did after that bbq heehee

[amysubmits]

Hello! ^^

I've been quietly following your page for awhile and I love your content, i was wondering if i could ask some advice...

I had to break up with my very first (now ex) daddy today, just a couple hours ago, and to say my heart is absolutely shattered is an understatement.

I didn't want to... i desperately wanted to keep things going because he was so wonderful and kind and caring, but my needs were different from his and he admitted he couldn't provide what i needed and it was better if we went our separate ways.

How does a sub get over this kind of thing? I feel so lost.

Hello :)

I am sorry that your heart is shattered. That sounds so difficult. I hope you're able to recognize how powerful it is that you've stepped away from a relationship that wasn't meeting your needs even though a big part of you didn't want to leave. It's such an incredibly healthy thing to do that to take care of yourself even though it's so hard. So many people try to cling to relationships that don't meet their needs and that just isn't very healthy to do longterm. So I hope you're proud of yourself for taking good care of yourself. <3

The main resource that I know to suggest is linked below. I share this one because in the past I've seen multiple subs say this resource was really helpful to them.

I think heartache usually takes time as much as anything else, and focusing on taking care of yourself and finding ways to bring happiness in your life through friends, hobbies, or other ways of 'finding purpose' seem like a good route to take.

I've seen some subs say that when single, they like thinking about self-care as something they're doing in honor of a future dom, and they find some meaning in self-care feeling submissive while single as a result. If that idea appeals to you, you might try on that perspective. I've seen other subs say that perspective just really doesn't work for them, and when they aren't with someone, they just have to see themselves as unable to submit for a time. And that's valid too. I assume it may just be a matter of figuring out what works best for you, personally. And that might take some trial and error.

I saw that @cherishedproperty answered an ask on this topic this morning, and so my first guess would be that was you, and you already will be checking out her answer. But on the off chance that it wasn't you and her ask was just a coincidence, I'd suggest that you go to her blog to find that ask because she has experience with D/s breakups and being a single sub, and gave a better answer than I can, not having been in that situation. She also pointed to some resources that you should find helpful.

Best of luck to you! And again, great job of taking care of yourself. Seriously such a good thing. <3