#And I made myself a funky deer thing

[xx-sketchy-xx]

Me and the bros

[unhingedlesbear]

The furry au is changing!!!! Ok guys… this is very controversial in relation to myself and my art. But I have a confession to make. When I originally assigned the species for the TDIM furry au, it was back when I didn’t think the game would have such a chokehold on me so I didn’t put all that much thought into the species. Then it got to a point where I’d made so many redraws that I wondered if I could even change it at this point. But still, I’m trying it out with my most recent redraws.

Explanations below

Mark and Kate remain the same but everyone else has changed. Jamie was a deer but she’s now a Fossa, Erin was a wallaby but she’s now a bat, and Charlie was an owl but he’s now a deer

(I did also consider making Mark a bear several times but idk)

My reasons for these are basically because like

Jamie is WAY too confident and hard headed to be a deer IMO. A medium carnivore like a Fossa kinda fits her better. As for Erin, the whole vampire au kinda pushed me in this direction but like it’s also the fact that she’s a sound tech and bats are known for their funky hearing. Also they’re like shy and all that. Charlie’s a deer because he seems pretty proud but also is a bit of a pussy and like. Yeah that’s just deer isn’t it.

Anyway yeah so that’s how things are going but also idk if I’m gonna stick with these changes. These are just slightly more thought out species choices but ik we’re used to my older ones. LMK y’all if you like these changes or want me to go back to the old one bc I’d be fine with either tbh.

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Wild Horse’s newest single ‘COUGAR’ shows off impressive indie groove amidst multifaceted lyrical storytelling

After a fantastic succession of releases in 2022, the funky indie-funk group Wild Horse dive into 2023 with their highly anticipated new single ‘COUGAR.’ Formed by brothers Jack and Henry Baldwin and best friend from primary school Ed Barnes in Sussex, Southern England, Wild Horse have not only a flawlessly perfected sound but also a mass of gigging experience to really excel in their performances. Still only just into their 20s, the group have amassed support from BBC Intros, BBC local shows, BBC Intro Live lounge, RadioX, Caroline, Amazing and many other critics, broadcasters, radio, streams, and press.

Aiming to connect with the exuberant energy of those who grew up listening to hip-hop beats and classic 60s and 70s Brit Rock vinyls, Wild Horse continue their staple indie-funk sound all throughout ‘COUGAR’ and it never for a second stops shining as brightly as when you first discovered their colourful flair. Leading in with distorted electric guitar twangs and a slow drum pacing, there’s an undeniable groove to be loved right from the get-go and it’s made all the more appealing through the first verses development. Incorporating a deep bassline, a bright guitar riff that fades in mid-way and the continual thudding drums tying it all together, there’s not a moment you won’t be swaying along completely mesmerised by every instrumental chime and easy-going beat. Serenaded through it all by their vocalists buttery smooth performance seeping with alluring charm that’s perfect for leading into every charismatic hook, Wild Horse have nailed a modern interpretation of groovy older releases. The chorus interweaves everything into one nice little package, with soaring backing vocals and a rise in the instrumentals hitting at a pulsating high that soothes the ears whilst also encouraging you get on your feet and dance. Lead out by the soulful gospel vocals of Jalissa Livermore, ‘COUGAR’ is sure to get under your skin and tell a story in every shimmering tone that you can’t help but feel completely addicted to hearing just one more time.

Lyrically abstract and showing off a story that’s a little different to anything you may expect to hear, ‘COUGAR’ tells the fictional tale of a lonely housewife who starts using psychedelics and visiting younger men to escape the pain of real life and her failing marriage. Told from the perspective of one of her bittersweet flings, ‘COUGAR’ blends romance with lust, bearing lines like ‘you tell me that you want me… don’t think about your husband’ that ooze with an unfiltered passion and a yearning aching heart for something more. Circling around the notion of chasing a high, whether it be the woman finding a rush in drugs and quick flings or her conquests finding it in her, ‘COUGAR’ whilst teetering around being seductive seems to under the surface pack more of a punch: ‘like a deer under the headlights, I find myself drawn into your life.’ Knowing things can’t end well but unable to turn back, ‘COUGAR’ perhaps even errs on the edge of addiction, hooked on the momentary pleasure and filled with lyricism that can’t help but dip into secret desires, bitter regrets and sweet oblivion. Whether you take ‘COUGAR’ on the surface level of simply being a saddening story of a woman falling apart, or some more profound commentary on avoiding a life filled with regret or chasing fleeting desire, one thing is for sure: ‘COUGAR’ is a song you’ll have looped in your mind for days.

Check out ‘COUGAR’ for yourself here to enjoy the multifaceted edges of Wild Horse’s lyricism and absolutely addictive soundscape!

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Andrew Porter

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[lightthewaybackhome]

Sorry this is so long. Probably should have done a 2 parter.

"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!" - Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be artistic. I’ve wanted to create. I love beauty. I love artistry. I love creation. I love the artsy look: jewelry, tattoos, flowing clothing, and funky hair. It is a personal aesthetic I keep returning to, especially as I get older. As a child, I tried so many different forms of art—painting, photography, drawing— but none of them seemed quite right. None of them got what was in my head out. All of them fell short until I started writing. Writing was a flame, a fire, a drug. Writing allowed me to express what was in my imagination. This is the first thing to understand.

Everyone is artistic and art is everywhere. I’ve believed this as long as I can remember. There are amazing artistic feats in our world: books, movies, video games, paintings, sculptures, and magnificent pieces of music. Yes, art can be very high and very special. But, art can also be found in charcuterie boards, homemade quilts, sourdough bread, cocktails, soup, and all ordinary things if we but look and see. Art can be high magic and art can be ordinary. This is the second thing to understand.

As I’ve embraced being a homemaker, a HearthKeeper, a woman where she’s meant to be, I came across the term domestic artist. As much as I didn’t like the book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle, it gave me this. It gave me the term domestic artist. That stuck with me. It spoke to me because it captured both the first and the second thing. It captured the never-ceasing call to create which haunts me at all times, and it elevated and honored the ordinary in a sprinkling of fairy dust. It said, “Yes, you have to cook today. Three meals plus snacks and drinks. It’s your job, but, but, what if, what if instead of looking at it as some drudgery, some Cinderella enslavement, what if you looked at it as an opportunity to create beauty?”

Not every meal, every outfit, every moment of your day can be a work of art. Some days you just have to do what you have to do. Some days get upended in the opening credits with a broken washer or a sleepless child. Some days plans change. Life changes. One minute life looks like this, and then the next it’s on to something completely different. But, the beauty of being a domestic artist is that you can create art in any of these moments and in any setting. You can find art in any moment and in any setting.

See, the world tells us that homemaking, HearthKeeping, is boring. It tells us it’s pointless. A waste. You could be changing the world. Only dumb useless women keep their homes. And that’s because they’re either tied down by a dictator of a husband or the demands of children or the cultural trappings of their religion. Courage, dear heart. Courage! Homemaking is magic. Homemaking is flexible. Homemaking changes with the seasons and the woman. I, I am a bit bohemian, a bit rustic, a mixture of rugged and romantic. I grew up a tomboy, but have embraced being a woman in her home since I was a child. I love leather and lace. I love cottage-witch aesthetics. I love boots and long flowing things. I like deer heads, linen, skulls, and ruffles. I like feathers and dreamcatchers, but I also love to decorate with open space. I love pies and feeding my husband. But, look at this, one of my best friends is a classic. She loves clean lines, traditional and timeless pieces. She loves modern accents. She loves beachy highlights and hammocks. She’s not into farmhouse, rustic modern, or raw-edged wood. On any given Sunday, she’s in a pencil skirt, simple top, simple heels with her three daughters in matching dresses while I’m in distressed boyfriend jeans, a mullet-tucked top, and wearing my crow skull. We’re very different, but we’re both homemakers who love making our homes.

I have a woman in my life who quilts and that flows out into their decorating. So many of her things are beautifully hand sewn. If she wants it, she makes it. Another friend grew up in Africa and her home is filled with her love of that culture. One dear friend loves plants and grows amazing flowers that she uses to create Instagram-worth bouquets. Another woman isn’t super fluffy-feminine but she has an eye for remodeling and so is constantly making improvements on her home: flooring, painting, and more. My sisters, like me, both enjoy a minimalist approach to decorating and all three of us have a special place for coffee. Both my sisters’ homes are welcoming and peaceful even with kids running around like crazy.

That’s the point, the world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility. For over five years, I’ve struggled with chronic health issues. Homemaking lets me decide each day what I can do and how I’m going to do it. Homemaking lets you change what you do for each season of life. Lots of littles? Keep it simple. Empty nest? Explore. Somewhere in between? Keep growing. Lots of energy? So many things you can expand into if you just refuse to believe the lie that homemaking is beneath you. Don’t be normal. Don’t believe that homemaking is a waste of time. Don’t buy into the lie that you are somehow being less than everyone else when you raise your children, love your husband, and create beauty. Have the courage to be strange. We were made for this! It suits us. This is an environment women thrive in.

When I got over my grammar inhibitions and started writing, I felt like my soul came alive. I felt like I’d finally found what I’d been searching for since I came into this world. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing an epic story or writing about HearthKeeping or just word doodling, writing, words, stories just flow from me. Wonderfully, homemaking is like that for me, too. I want to read books, I want to learn, I want to talk about it, I want to do it. It’s not perfect. I don’t always feel glorious, but I do feel ‘right’ when I’m doing this. I feel like I’m where I belong. I feel like this is a place I can both rest in and grow in. I feel safe when I’m having a fatigue flare up and I feel excited when I think about all that I can do.

A real-life example: Sundays are long hard days. They’re days that generally spike my fatigue and my husband is worn out. They’re both the best and hardest day of the week. When we get home I make a cocktail and we crash. Inevitably, the minute I sit down my man asks for a snack and what we’re having for dinner. For several years, this drove me up a wall. It is Sunday. The day of REST, why is it my responsibility to always make food? Epic sigh. Epic whiny sigh. I would meal plan for the whole week and then wing it on Sunday and Monday, always with poor results and grumpiness on my part. Then, one week as I meal-planned, I realized that I could also prepare for the weekend. Lightbulb. Facepalm. Really? Why had it taken me into my 40th year of life to realize that if I want a quiet, restful, happy weekend, I should just plan snacks, drinks, and meals ahead of time? I’m going to blame it on my chronic health, brain fog addled mind. I’m going to blame it on laziness. I’m going to blame it on being a young homemaker. Some are understandable, some are inexcusable.

Sundays now involve way less stress because I can immediately prepare snacks and know what we’re eating the minute we get home. No more attitude issue. No more stress. Easy and nice.

Did this change the world? Does this matter to anyone but myself? Did my husband even notice? Maybe not, but this is homemaking. This is HearthKeeping. It is my job and my calling. Even without notice or world-shattering consequences, I’m pleased with the outcome. More than pleased, I’m really happy about it. It brings me joy and delight to find a better way to take care of my family. It allows me to sprinkle my Sunday afternoon with just a little bit of artistry. I make drinks, snacks, dinner. I feed my family.

See, one of the lies that the feminists preach is that we’re wasted in our homes. And yet, the majority of the women I know who work outside the home aren’t doing glamorous jobs. They’re not travel bloggers or world-renowned chiefs or CEOs. They’re cosmetologists, retail workers, bank tellers, nurses, teachers, and such. Now, none of those are bad. Working outside the home isn’t bad. (I think each family has to decide what family looks like to them.) Please, please, don’t read that as degrading. I worked retail and I think retail is important. These are all God-honoring employment in which you can strive and serve. I’m not bashing any of those jobs. I have many many dear friends who work outside the home. What I am saying is that I think we as women need to ask ourselves if leaving our homes en masse was worth it. Has it given us all the joy, delight, and fulfillment the feminists promised us?

I’ve done both. I’ve been a co-owner of a business that I helped grow from nothing to something amazing. I’ve worked as an everyday retail worker. I write and am the main editor for a small neighborhood magazine. And I’m a HearthKeeper. I will tell you right now, no qualifications, that HearthKeeping is the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. It not only challenges me every day but it also works with me. The boundaries are what I set in place and so I grow as I can. The work never ends, yes, but it also never ends. There is always something else to explore.

I think being a homemaker is largely attitude. You can buck against what you do, and most women do. Just spend two minutes on Pinterest looking at doing laundry or dishes and the bitter hatred comes pouring out. Look at the complaints women make against their churches: we’re relegated to doing nursery work and kitchen duty. What if, just for a moment, we decided to be Domestic Artists? What if, for just a moment, we tried loving our jobs instead of complaining? What if we thought that dishes meant food and good times and healing of the souls around us? What if we saw laundry as a way to keep beauty and cleanliness around us? What if we saw it as our privilege and delight to take care of the food, children, clothing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, growing of the next generation, and the men of the world? What if we embraced the domestic arts and saw them as truly magnificent, glorious, unique arts? How many of us would be able to say with a straight face that working retail is more fulfilling than managing a small world? Is it more fulfilling to go work in an office than it is to orchestrate a place of welcome, rest, and renewal for your husband and yourself? It might be more visible, but is it truly more long-lasting?

I can say that it isn’t. I can say that I think being a homemaker is uniquely suited for women and that we should have the courage to go against the grain of our world and say no. No, I’m not going to give all of myself to work outside the home when the home is far more challenging and interesting. No, I’m not going to believe the lie that homemaking is oppression and boredom. I will find beauty in the ordinary and I will embrace art in the everyday. This is one of those amazing jobs where it is what you make it. It is what you pour into it. If you think it’s boring or demeaning you won’t get anything out of it. If you think it is challenging and rewarding, you will get the world out of it. You will grow yourself and those around you. Think about what a wonderful thing it would be if we made our homes our careers! If we women really took on the label Domestic Artist in our own individual ways.

[thepandalion]

ForgetMeNotsOnline is live! (ft. Cam, who belongs to my best mate and sibling @drorey)

(Usual rant ahead, yall are warned)

AAAAA!!!

Everyone, Meet Olive Fern Cross and their lovely boyfriend Cameron (I forgot his last name but he does have one)

They’ve both been around for years, like, they legit have a whole story. It’s plenty cringe so I’ll spare details, but the lil deer plush on the shelf in the drawing is a real plush dro gifted me a few years back, and since we both have a tendency to name every plush we own, and they took a bit of time to get it to me, they named the plush Olive - and of course immediately after we both needed to make ocs for a roleplay we signed up for online the same day - and I went “oh, yknow, it’d be cool if I made mine based off of the plush you got me”, and one thing lead to another... here they are. Heck, the Olive plush is near me all the time - I’m an adult with a plush animal and I don’t care because this one fluffy deer is one of my most prized possessions.

Anyways, so the oc Olive started off about as terrible as you’d expect from an angst-driven 14 year old. so, vaguely recently (like, maybe half a year ago?) dro and I got to talking about these two again... and I got to revamp my “lost child with a broken family” into a funky lil streamer who probably does way too much lore on their minecraft smp (and, yes, we built a fictional smp because I’m a details-oriented person, Locked Gates SMP is wonderful and honestly seems way too similar to Empires for comfort)

So, I had this mental image of a twitch screenshot of them going live for a while now - and I finally got to it. Their channel name is, again, based on the beta character they used to be (memory problems my beloved-)

Cam is always in the background when they stream, he became somewhat of a cryptid for the fandom, and we love him. props to my mate for the design, absolutely love him :3

Yeah, I think this is enough storytelling, time to go rant about the details again :D

So, the shirt Olive is wearing is one I’ve already drawn them in once- it started as just “generic gamer shirt”, but idk it’s probably merch now?

Speaking of merch, the hat on the shelf has a forget-me-not on it, so it’s also merch.

already talked about the plushie, which I just had to put there, and yes, they have a gold play button (and a silver one, but yknow, priorities).

the other two things on the shelf are a snowglobe, because I have a shelf full of snowglobes (been collecting since I was 5, I have more than 50 of them), and I was stuck on what to put on, so, I put a bit of myself into their room- its a deer inside the globe, btw.

Last thing on the shelf is a deer-patterned heart shaped plush they probably got from a fan. Idk filling shelves is hard, I only have shelves in my room because I ran out of space for all my figurines, sculptures, globes, collectibles, books and plushies (I. have a lot of stuff. technically I could put it in storage but yknow emotional value of having a room full of stuff that gathers dust despite being allergic-)

tldr; Im emotional over a plushie <3

[iscariotsdeputy]

Staci Pratt’s Lines From The FC5 Script

THE SCRIPT IS FOUND HERE ON THIS POST GIVE THAT POST THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES

now to our regular scheduled staci content under the read more!

[Surprise reactions, yes I’m naming these]

Good Lord! 

What the- 

Jesus! 

God almighty! 

Christ almighty! 

Whoa!

What was that? 

I heard something. 

You hear that? 

What? 

What's that?

[FUN BATTLE CRIES]

Enough! 

No more! 

I'm done with this!

Goin' in! 

Cover me! 

You're dead! 

You're mine! 

Kill them! Let them die for the Father!   (ZOINKS)

Kill them all! They don't deserve to live! 

The weak must be culled! 

We've got this! 

Mercy is for the weak! 

Show them no weakness! 

Cull the herd! 

You don't deserve to live! 

You'll pay! You're all gonna pay! 

You're all gonna die! 

You don't deserve to live!

Is that it? 

You started it! 

I didn't want this! 

We don't forgive unbelievers! 

This didn't have to happen! 

[That feel when the grenades hit]

Move, move, move! 

Move, go! 

Grenade! 

Grenade, move! 

[This boy is on fire!]

Oh God, the fire's gettin' bigger! 

Fire's growing! 

The fire! It's out of control!  

Good Lord that fire's getting big! 

The fire's spreading!

[Lad on the run]

Moving, cover me! 

Runnin' for it! 

Hey, cover me! 

Movin' positions! 

Gonna try to get higher up. 

Gonna climb higher. 

Cover me, I'm heading down. 

Moving down, cover me! 

For sure! 

Better go fast! 

Got it! 

Okay! 

Got ya!

[When he wants to run but he’s like me trying not to infodump: suppressed]

I can't move! 

They've got me pinned! 

I'm pinned down! 

I'm taking fire over here! 

They've got me pinned down! 

[Staci hearing threats]

Jesus! Where was that?! Damn!

Lord! Jesus, what was that? What the hell! 

[Staci underfire]

Damn! 

Dammit, dammit! 

Lord Jesus Christ! 

This is bad!

God, no!

Ah shit! 

[Staci when he sees them enemies]

Look, over there! 

Over there! 

There they are! 

There! I see them! 

Gonna do some Cullin'...      (staci excuse me?)

Don't move! 

Dammit, watch out! 

Hey, watch out! 

[Wounded Staci]

Ah. 

Ow. 

Ah! 

God! 

Jesus! 

I'm hit! 

They shot me! 

They got me!

[HE’S RELOADIN’]

Reloading! 

I'm reloading! 

Reloading! Cover me! 

Gotta reload!

[SALUTATIONS FELLOW NORMAL NOT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE]

Hey. 

Hi there.

What's up. 

Hey, man. 

Hey sister. 

Hey there.

Hey!

Hey Brother.

Brother, how are you?

Miss. Nice to see you. 

Hey there Miss. 

[Sights on Staci, a sniper with the same values as me]

Sniper! 

Sniper's got me in his sights! 

Got a sniper on me! 

[Funky Fresh Idle Filler]

Gotta look after your gear, keep it clean. Out here your weapon is your life. 

The Father keeps all the best stuff for his Chosen. Leaves us the scraps. 

No one is going to take anything from me again. Ever.

The night hides many sins. 

It gets cold at night. 

Even in the dark, they can see ya. 

[Sneeze] [Clear Throat] [Sigh]

[Happy sigh. Like the Blue Jays won another world series recently.] (I shit you not this is how it’s in the script)

I'm not weak. I'm not weak. 

They're gonna pay. 

No mercy. Show no mercy. 

Some say the sun is life. In the cages it brings only death. 

I wasn't sure I'd ever see the sun again. 

[Deep breath] Just smell that fresh air. 

Jacob took me on one of his hunts, only we weren't huntin' any animals. A couple of prisoners had escaped... they didn't get far. I had to help round up the wolves.. you know... to be made into Judges. They were so scared... so scared. I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin them. As I was cutting them open they changed... it wasn't deer. I... I don't think it was a dream.

Good idea to be ready for anythin'. From what I saw Eden's Gate isn't foolin' around.

I was locked down in Jacob's Gate for days. I can't imagine living down there for years. 

Jacob had one thing right. Things are only goin' to get worse and you gotta be ready for it.

[Friendly Fire]

Watch it!

We're on the same side! 

Watch where you point that! 

Do you mind? 

Don't test me!

You trying to kill me?! 

You tryin' to make me angry? 

I wouldn't do that, if I were you.

You doing that on purpose? 

Trying to get me killed?! 

Watch it! 

Be more careful! 

Careful! 

Hey! Watch it!

[DON’T LET HIM USE THE MOUNTED GUN]

Goin' for the machine gun! 

Gonna take the machine gun! 

Cover me I'm going for the machine gun! 

I'm taking the machine gun, cover me! 

Leave the machine gun to me!

[If a friend is down I think, or maybe you, who knows?]

Good lord! 

Jesus! 

God, no! 

Father save us! 

[SO IF STACI KILLS YOU???]

Now who's weak? 

I'm sorry. I really am. 

[Staci death pleas]

Father! Forgive me! 

Oh God oh God! 

[Filler after Staci kills someone AKA post-combat]

Culling the herd. It's just culling the herd. 

Did you see that Jacob? Who's weak now? 

For sure. 

You okay over there? 

You can't let it get to you. 

It.. It'll be okay.  (i love him,,,,,,,,,,)

[Battle Filler!]

They deserve what they get! 

Show no weakness! 

Kill them all! 

Death is too good for them! 

[Reviving]

Going to help! I got 'em! I'll get 'em! I got this! 

Hold on, I got you! Be right there! Don't die on me! 

[You Revive Him! Gold Star!]

It just wasn't my time. Thanks, friend. 

You are a God-send. Thank you. 

You're like my guardian angel. 

[Battle Taunts]

Whatta you gonna do? What, having trouble standing? What's wrong? How do you like it? 

[Staci asking for help]

Oh God! Save me, please!

Oh god, it hurts! Make it stop!

Please, Father. No more!

[If you aim your gun at Stace oh n o]

You don't want to test me.

That's enough.

You wanna see what happens? 

You're not gonna like what comes next... 

You think that scares me after what I've been through? 

Don't be testin' me, Brother. 

Don't push me. Not now. 

I'm warning you. 

I'm not goin' to put up with this, Miss. 

[Staci and Boomer]

You got that dog under control, right? 

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm good with dogs. 

Dogs remind me too much of those damned Judge wolves. 

I don't like the way that dog is looking at me. 

Just keep that dog away from me. 

[Staci and Cheeseburger]

I don't trust bears. 

Keep that thing away from me. 

Bears are dangerous. 

Bears should be in the wild. 

Bears are killers.

[Staci and Peaches]

Now that's a cat.

Big cat.

Big claws on that sucker. 

Nice kitty. 

Beauty coat on that cougar. 

[More Filler, But Longer And Contextual!]

Sometimes it's all just too much...then I remember my purpose. Our purpose. 

Jacob, he's knows everything that I'm thinking. He's got the key to my mind and he twists... and twists... and twists. 

Jacob... he's in control. He controls everything. 

I don't know how much more of this I can take. 

I would've rotted in Jacob's Gate if it wasn't for you. 

Good to see things gettin' back to normal. 

Jacob has got eyes everywhere. He knows your thoughts, before you think 'em. He's inside your head right now. 

Jacob's plan worked. I tried to warn them. I told them not to go back. 

I don't know how much more I can take of this. 

If Jacob gets his way, we're all dead. 

I... I don't know what to think anymore. It's.. it's so hard to keep it straight. 

That goddamn cage, it's like my wires are crossed. 

I can't believe he's really dead. 

No more sacrifices. No more. 

No one can take Jacob on. It's just not possible. 

Jacob's going to win. He always wins. 

Whitetails are honest, decent people. They're fightin' the good fight, and they deserve any success that comes their way. No place is safe, but the Wolf's Den gives you a good chance at livin'. 

Empires fall. The weak.. the world is full of them. They're going to to cull the weak.

I... maybe we shouldn't waste time talking right now.

There's no time. No time!

Jacob... his experiments... he takes us... owns us, speaks to us. He hears us.

They'll find us. They always find people. We gotta leave... before they find us! Before they punish us!

No... keep goin! We move or we die!

Jacob knows. He knows!

You're strong. You're not weak. That's good... good.

I'm alive but I'm weak.. weak. Need to be strong. We are meat. We are all meat.

We could have died. And maybe... maybe I deserved... no, stop, stop! The weak... must be culled!

I... I don't know what we're supposed to do now. Protect and serve? Out here? There's no law anymore, Rook. Look around. Someone should have been here by now. Nobody gives a shit about what's happening here. We're on our own. Survival of the fittest. The weak and strong...

Maybe we didn't survive that crash. Maybe all this is purgatory. We have to atone for all the shit we've done before we can leave this place... we have to suffer before God will grant us salvation.

The whole time I was locked in that room I just kept thinking about how I got here. You know why I became a cop? To get laid. That was it. It was a whim. And then... after awhile, I tried to convince myself that I did it for the greater good. To help people. But I can't. I know that now. Jacob taught me that... I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore... I don't even know who I am.

[STACI DIALOGUE WITH PHIL, THE PEGGIE, IDK]

Stace: I.. I was told to feed the Judges but I didn't know where their food was.

Phil: Jesus, Pratt. Does nothing stick in that brain of yours? Over there, where it's always kept.

Stace: Right! Th..thanks Phil! It won't happen again!

Phil: It better not.

[Also there’s no confirmation this is Staci, but it was right under the above dialogue]

Stace: Hey... I need to get in.

Peggie: Seriously? Didn't I just let you out?

Stace: There's a new prisoner. I got to go get him. For Jacob.

Peggie: Fine. Get goin'. Just leave me the fuck alone.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[stringsofstarlight]

Happy Autumnal Equinox

     Years ago I found McKenna, his ideas and downloads are superbly entertaining, often his talks are a little too much for me.    The idea of the “Archaic Revival” has resonated with me for a considerable part of my life.   I included the quote below to give some insight upon parts of information he brought to share from those visionary states.   He was an advocate of “Heroic” doses of psychedelic substances, these are the places where his path and mine diverge.   My spirit comes from the school of Maria Sabina, the medicine as a healing modality and personal realignment tool.   In finding his work 23 years ago, the neural pathways had something to visualize in the mind’s eye, a greater underlying structure that I had experienced the few times as a youth when friends came back from Grateful Dead Tour.    I was only able to hear Jerry once with Sting, baseball was my thing back then, the season and weeks of pre practice always coincided the big camp outs that happened at Deer Creek, Buckeye Lake, and Alpine in Wisconsin, plus I was a little too young and much too straight at the time.  I had 5 brothers and sisters to attend to and manage because my mom was already fairly unstable by that time.  

      Yesterday, there were a couple of posts that I realize now had a much deeper meaning about cannabis.   Points have been taken to heart and changes are clear now. 

       Starting right after I hit post on this message, I am taking a break from my go to visionary tool.    It is becoming obvious that if I open so many doors all of the time, I am missing the one door that really counts.    I need to be able to manage my emotions in a different fashion and let the person inside really bloom.    Thank you for giving me the space to learn to love myself, and to take the step forward to become the best version of myself possible.

      Which, by the way, they make lovely vegan charterie-like goods, I usually eat all of the fun things that go with it.   These things seem really small, I just want you to know that I am mellow about food things and would love to explore some new boundaries.  Part of me has considered fish for bit, I just... going to take one thing a time.     

       This is all to get your mind off of the funkiness and sadness of the weekend.   It is true I need to make a change.     Last post for awhile that is about me, myself, and I.    Going back to the good old poetry for a bit. 

“And at the centre of that impulse is the shaman: stoned, intoxicated on plants, speaking with the spirit helpers, dancing in the moonlight, and vivifying and invoking a world of conscious, living mystery. That's what the world is. The world is not an unsolved problem for scientists or sociologists. The world is a living mystery: our birth, our death, our being in the moment -- these are mysteries. They are doorways opening on to unimaginable vistas of self-exploration, empowerment and hope for the human enterprise. And our culture has killed that, taken it away from us, made us consumers of shoddy products and shoddier ideals. We have to get away from that; and the way to get away from it is by a return to the authentic experience of the body -- and that means sexually empowering ourselves, and it means getting loaded, exploring the mind as a tool for personal and social transformation.”    -- T. McKenna

love,

james    11:11

[foxtophat]

HEY I’M REALLY GOING TO TRY AND GET THIS POSTED IN ITS ENTIRETY BY SOMETIME THIS YEAR. SO here’s the beginning, where Nick is Kanye and John is that water bottle he’s now responsible for.  no ships, no violence, just good old fashioned self-indulgent fix-it fic.

i love writing fix it fic, and i love the idea of john sitting in time out for 8 years, only to show back up in Nick and Kim’s life like a mangy street cat that just will not die. i wrote a lot of this from john’s pov, before i scrapped all of that and reworked it into this.

below the cut is the full text of the chapter, in case you don’t feel like going off-site. reblogs and likes mean the world to me!

2026

Nick isn't sure what to expect as he picks the trail out of the brush. That's sort of been the big theme of the apocalypse as he knows it. Between the super-bloom, the funky looking deer and the total decimation of everything he's ever known, Nick has been operating pretty exclusively on the fly. After eight years of monotony underground, the adventure is almost worth it, although he could do with some basic infrastructure like, you know, roads, gas, electricity, maybe a school so he and Kim don't have to be the ones to teach Carmina math and critical thinking and shit.

Either way, finding strange footprints in the woods is a pretty standard mystery, and Nick doesn't see why he shouldn't follow them. He doesn't even think to leave it alone — how could he? If there's somebody roughing it this close to home, Nick figures he might as well extend a friendly hand. Or at least make sure a crazy murder-hobo hasn't started lurking around the woods his daughter plays in. That's pretty unlikely , given the state of things, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

From all the games and movies Nick had digested growing up, he'd always figured that the nuclear wasteland would be either entirely uninhabited or infested with a population of power-hungry raiders looking to destroy everything in their wake. So far, though, most of the people he's come across have been pretty friendly. Wary as fuck, not really willing to share and definitely not interested in sticking around for long, but nobody's pulled a gun on the Ryes and their hospitality. As bad as Nick had thought living in the bunker had been, it's clear that surviving above ground had been much, much worse, and those who made it this far aren't in the habit of shooting generosity outright.

That's mostly what he's expecting as he follows the bootprints dug into the dirt. Strangers trying to get by in the lushness of Hope County, maybe people whose names he knows. Maybe even old friends who haven't reappeared yet. He expects a small camp, expects maybe he's going to have to negotiate with some new neighbors to keep the peace. There's plenty of land here for everyone, after all, and Nick isn't opposed to some friendly faces to rely on in hard times.

But Nick's luck has never worked out the way he expects it to. Instead of another family, a possible friend or even just a days-old campsite from some wanderer, Nick almost walks himself into an open bunker. He catches himself at the edge of the hatch, staring down into the darkness at the bottom of the ladder. It smells fucking terrible, like something up and shit itself to death down there, and now Nick is pretty sure he's going to find yet another goddamn corpse.

"Uh, hello?" Nick calls, unable to help himself. "Anybody... down there?"

There's no response.

Nick looks around, but the overgrowth is too thick here for him to keep following the tracks. Goddamn — falling to your death after surviving the nuclear holocaust? What a way to go.

It's only on his second look around that Nick catches sight of a scrap of yellow between the trees further ahead. It looks like fabric that's been stretched out over a branch, and as Nick approaches he starts to recognize it as nylon. Like a parachute, maybe? Shit, even if nobody's here, they could use that kind of sturdy fabric.

The parachute's in tatters, dragged through sharp tree-branches and the apocalypse alike. It's sort of like a... lean-to, maybe? Nick's not sure; whoever threw together this campsite was relying on instinct to build a decent shelter, not skill. There's a fire-pit in front of him that looks like it hasn't been burning for days now, and a crate of miscellaneous components, likely scavenged from wherever this parachute came from.

Nick goes to take the fabric down — one man's trash, right? — but he finds himself stopping cold as he catches sight of a corpse huddled under the lean-to. Jesus Christ , and here he was about to scrap the whole place! Talk about disrespectful! From the look of it, the guy who had camped out here must've starved to death — curled nearly fetal, visibly malnourished even fully clothed. Between the thick beard and the wild mane of brown hair, Nick can't see the body's face; all he can make out is a heavily scarred mess near where the guy's ear should be. It looks like it got melted off. Or maybe blasted off.

The body moves . The noise that accompanies it is something like a hiss, air wheezing sharply through tightly clenched teeth.

"Holy shit ," Nick gasps, dancing backwards in momentary terror before getting a fucking grip on himself. "Holy shit, buddy, you're alive ?"

In response, the corpse shudders like it's trying to rise, managing to twist enough in its spot that Nick can now make out a face to go with the rest of the body. There's something strikingly familiar about the bloodshot, glassy blue eyes, the thick beard, the tangled mass of brown hair...

The arm that had been hidden under the body has the sleeve rolled up to the elbow, and Nick can clearly make out ritualistic scars cross-hatched over tattoos that have faded after so long without any touch-ups. Nick stares uncomprehendingly at the damage, unable to think of a single person capable of so much torturous work. The hand curled in the dirt underneath has shiny scars over one of the knuckles, but Nick still recognizes the word EDEN even missing most of the N .

Nick's whole body jolts with a white-hot rush of terror. " Jesus, Christ! " he shouts, jerking away as if expecting a real bomb to drop on him.

It's John goddamn fucking Seed !

Nick raises his rifle before he's processed the situation, finger on the trigger and barrel pointed down at the body slumped in front of him. He almost pulls the trigger, too, wants to pull the trigger, but John is just lying there. He isn't moving, he's barely breathing, and Nick... he can't do it. God, he knows he should — but it's been eight years since he's had to shoot another human being. He doesn't want to break that streak, not even if John barely counts as human.

John smells like shit and looks like a goddamn murder-hobo. Coming close again, Nick can hear his breath rattling in his lungs. It isn't until Nick has the barrel of his rifle almost touching John's chest that the man's eyes drift towards the gun; even then, it doesn't look like he recognizes the danger he's in.

"Holy goddamn," Nick says, unable to help himself, "You look like shit ."

The noise John makes in return could be called a laugh, if Nick were feeling particularly charitable, but it's closer to a tired hiss. It flips his stomach, instincts deeper than reason keeping him glued to the spot while he slowly lowers his gun.

Shit. Shit! He would be doing the world a favor, eradicating this goddamn beast. This is the fucking monster who'd terrorized his family, tried to force him from his home, tortured him — he still carries the dark, thick band of a scar from where John literally fucking flayed him! This county spent years being subtly and then overtly terrorized by this shit and his family, and a quick execution is more than he deserves!

John is barely more than a corpse as it is. He was never meant to make it this long, and his survival is a testament to how little God cares about this miserable planet. Nick would be doing everyone a favor.

Nick listens to him wheeze, something rattling deep in his chest, and finds himself lowering the barrel, finger reluctantly pulling away from the trigger.

He calls himself all sorts of names as he moves into the shelter. Mostly, "Fuckin' idiot, goddamn fool," which doesn't stop him from acting like one at all but at least it makes him feel better.

John doesn't react as Nick crouches beside him; the most he does is close his eyes and try not to throw up as Nick struggles to prop him up. He struggles to swallow, gulping thickly against his dry throat. Nick pulls his canteen off of his belt and pushes it into John's shaking hands, but it's only when he helps bring it to his mouth that John actually drinks any water. He clutches at the metal and drinks desperately, greedily, and it makes Nick so fucking angry to see his relief that he rips the canteen away before John can get his fill. The guilt he feels immediately after is worse than the anger by leagues, but he's got no way to process that shit right now, so he'll stick with the more understandable outrage.

"I've got every right to leave you for the fuckin' wolves," he grunts, shoving the canteen back into John's hands. "I'd be doing the world a favor if I shot you right here myself."

Nick doesn't expect John's delirious nod in response. He doesn't know what to do with it. John Seed has too much goddamn pride to accept a miserable end like this. He's a self-centered narcissist who probably expected the whole cult thing to blow over in court — how can he lie here like a skeleton and let Nick talk about putting him down like a dog?

"Every fucking right," Nick repeats helplessly as the choice vanishes in front of him. John gasps as he pulls away from the canteen, swallowing thickly several times. He looks like he wants to speak, but he can't find the words. Well, good . At least something's going right in this post-apocalyptic nightmare.

Nick can't leave him here to die. He wants to, but the idea makes him sick to his stomach. The only person he can think of that might be able to stand dealing with this better than him is Kim, but... God, what's she gonna do to him if he shows up dragging this sack of shit with him? He's pretty sure divorce in the wasteland involves buckshot and an unmarked grave.

"Okay," Nick sighs at last, "On your feet."

Ordering him doesn't do much, considering John doesn't seem fully aware of his surroundings, but it makes Nick feel better that he tried before resorting to helping him.

John can barely hold himself up. He keeps his legs under him, but even while he's leaning heavily on Nick, his gait is toddler-wobbly and his knees keep buckling. He breathes hard through his nose and gets pretty green around the gills as they march on, but he doesn't complain. Honestly, the most unnerving thing about the situation is how John says nothing . Nick remembers listening to the guy ramble for hours over the deputy's radio, just wishing he would shut up. Now, Nick finds himself trying to fill that same silence while wishing John would just contribute to the conversation.

"This - none of this means I'm helping you ," Nick explains to the silence in frustration. "I just - don't think you're worth wasting bullets over. That's all." It's definitely not a good explanation, but John probably isn't coherent enough to notice. Thankfully, that means he won't notice as Nick works out the problem aloud. Nick's always preferred talking his thoughts out - it's easier than trying to listen to them being just thought . "And anyway... I can't risk you gettin' better out there by yourself and... running around, meeting back up with your whackjob followers, any of that! So I couldn't leave you there, either. Can't have... fuckin' cult shit in the apocalypse... Not gonna happen, not on my watch."

John grunts, but Nick isn't sure if it's in response or just because he tripped over a rock.

"So... Yeah, sure, I'm takin' you home, but it's only because somebody needed to keep an eye on you," Nick finishes. The excuse does... well, it doesn't do much to paper over the guilty empathy Nick had felt finding John in such a way, but it'll at least get Kim off his back for a couple of minutes until he can come up with something more convincing.

"Damn it, Kim is gonna murder me," Nick realizes aloud as he finally catches sight of the house through the trees. John grunts again, this time definitely in response, and Nick imagines a normal, healthy John Seed would be throwing a sarcastic quip in his face. Probably something kind of lewd and predatory about the state of their marriage. The image manages to make John's silence more palatable, anyway.

Father of the year that he is, Nick only pauses to consider Carmina when he's nearly at the door. She's only eight years old, and she doesn't know anything about the cult. If he isn't careful, this whole thing could blow up in his face. He could wind up getting his own daughter indoctrinated in an old-timey psycho cult! All because he couldn't stomach killing this jackass? Is that really what he wants?

Well, he has some time before Grace comes back with her — hopefully Kim will have shot John before then. ...Shit, hopefully she shoots John, and not him, too .

He's gotta bite the bullet one way or another, and so he drags John in through the front door. It's like a bandaid; you just gotta rip it off and deal with the consequences.

"Oh my God," Kim says as he stops by the door, eager to not be touching John any longer than necessary. "What happened?" Nick turns to prop John up against the doorframe, reluctant to meet Kim's face. She must see something that gives John away — maybe his tattoos, or his eyes — because she stops halfway across the dirt-encrusted floorboards and sucks in a horrified breath. "Is that John Seed ?" Kim shouts, "Nick, what are you doing ?!"

Panic flashes across John's face as he half-slips out of Nick's grasp, but he's got the wall right behind him. "Easy," Nick mutters, bracing John's shoulder until he recognizes the support at his back. The relief on his face is hard to look at, but Nick's not sure Kim is gonna be much better.

" No ," Kim shouts. "Nick, are you crazy ?!"

"Kim, c'mon," Nick replies, turning at last, "Hear me out."

"I'm not hearing you out ," Kim hisses. "The fact that you brought him here instead of putting a bullet-! "

She cuts herself off, stalking back into the kitchen. Now Nick is desperate to watch her face, but of course she keeps her back turned to him, even as he chases after her. He gets close enough to rest his hands on her hips, which he does almost out of instinct — she tenses, but at least she lets him keep his hands.

He opens his mouth to repeat all the excuses he'd come up with, about not wanting to waste bullets and not wanting to risk another cult uprising, but to his horror, the only thing that comes out of him is the simple, guilty truth. "I couldn't do it," he whispers miserably. "I couldn't - Kim, I fuckin' hate the guy. If he could hold a gun, if he weren't - he wouldn't be here. I would have shot him dead. No regrets."

"That's what he deserves," Kim mutters. She drops one hand from the counter, resting it on top of Nick's, fingers wrapping around his palm.

"It is," Nick agrees, and he means it with all his heart. It's just... his heart is kind of soft, and it's put him in a sticky situation here. He admits with a tight, rasping voice, "I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. And I couldn't leave him there. I mean... what if the cult found him?"

Kim sees through the excuse immediately, turning in his arms to stare him down with that skeptical squint of hers. At last, though, she sighs, taking both of his hands up in her own. "You're too soft," she tells him fondly. She's right, though. One of these days, his tenderhearted mercies are going to get them in a whole load of trouble. With John Seed slumped in his doorway, that trouble might have already come.

"I don't know what to do," Nick tells her, knowing he can rely on her to help him find direction again.

Focusing her attention on the figure slumped in the doorway, Kim eventually shakes her head. "It might be what he deserves, but we don't deserve it," she says at last. Nick can't help but feel relieved, even if it's a guilty kind of relief. "We'll have to find somewhere to put him. Somewhere Carmina can't find, or won't go."

There aren't a lot of places around the homestead that fit that description, but Nick agrees that keeping Carmina away is key. "I dunno, we could... put him in the bunker, maybe? Carmina hates it down there. She'd never bother looking..."

Behind him, John's breath hitches, and at last he finds his voice. "No," he rasps with a shredded voice, "Not that."

"You're not in a position to argue," Nick snaps over his shoulder.

Kim fixes her eyes on John, but Nick can't tell what she's thinking. He expects her to tell John to get fucked, even half-expects her to throw him in the hole herself. It's the least John deserves. But her stony frown cracks just a little, and Nick recognizes the same pity that started this whole mess.

"The..." She clears her throat and begins again, "The spare room has a lock on the door. It'll do for now."

Nick nods. "Okay," he says. "I'll... I'll dump him up there, and then..."

"And then we'll talk about how we're going to deal with him," she says.

It's going to be one hell of a conversation, but Nick is willing to lie in the bed he's made. He gives her hands a gentle squeeze before he pulls away, turning to regard John's collapsed form in the doorway.

"Okay, asshole," he grunts, although it doesn't seem like John catches the insult. When Nick picks him back up, he settles even more heavily on Nick's shoulders. Nick barely manages to make it up the stairs without dropping the dead weight hanging on to him.

There's not much in the spare room, aside from some boxes of sentimental trash and a rat-nest pile of potentially useful garbage. The room itself was going to be Carmina's nursery — it's pale yellow and blue colors have faded and cracked, and of course Carmina doesn't like any of it, anyway. She's more interested in learning how to shoot and sharing a room with her parents in case a pack of wild dogs comes through the area.

Nick puts John down on a folded tarp he's been meaning to use to rain-proof the roof. He looks just as corpse-like lying here as he did in the woods, but at least now Nick can pretend like he has control of the situation. He's gonna have to burn the clothes John's wearing, and probably give him a bucket to clean himself up with... Ugh. The logistics of keeping John hostage in the room don't make too much sense. It would be smarter to throw him in the bunker, where he would at least have his own bathroom. It would be even smarter to put him back in the woods where he found him.

"It'd be better for me if you croaked while I'm gone," Nick tells John. Still, he leaves his canteen with him before he goes; he's pretty sure he knows where the key is for the lock, but for now it's safe to say John isn't going to be staging a breakout any time soon.

[bunniebaby]

Last Night’s Dream

It was Christmas and we were unwrapping gifts (one of the gifts I got was a toy plane but I kept eating the parts due to strange lack of self control) and Martin (my brother) mentioned an episode of Smiling friends where Charlie shows Pim how to make a snowball (this episode doesn’t exist) and I remarked about how I never watched that episode and how I probably should later.

In the episode, they put a cabbage in the snow and rolled it up into a snowball, but kept rolling it which would’ve made a better snowman bottom than a snowball but whatever.

I put a cabbage in the ground and rolled along the snowy pavement as we made our way to a house, when we arrived I realized the others came on a sled (a pretty rusty one I gotta say) and we came inside. There was a girl (who looked like a young adult, but could’ve been a teen because in this dream I was apparently 6 years old.) who was related in some strange way, but it was hard to get a straight answer from my dad. I tried talking to her but she muted the role I was in (because this place has the physical rules of discord?????) and kept talking. Soon enough, the whole room went dark and there were 2 spotlights, one on a crowd and the other on some guy, the guy was singing or playing music while 2 teens from the crowd were trying to put something on the other but failing and when everybody started clapping, they thought they were clapping for them.

When the lights turned back on, this fucking deer thing skinny creature made entirely out of bananas came crashing through the window and this didn’t bother us???? At all???? And I was like hmm maybe a tally hall reference would get her (the teenager from the beginning) attention, so I started clapping to the tune of Banana man (this did not get her attention) and I left to the other room and realized I could’ve just sang it or played the song on my phone, so I went to go ask where my phone was. I was going outside but mom told me that our big sister lost it in the snow, so I went outside to confront her, when all of a sudden Vinny (my brother) showed me a new natural rollercoaster (a tree that’s frosted over and is in a formation where you can slide in a loop) he found (he apparently does this regularly) and I decided to give it a try. He said that it’s easy to stop when you want to because of the formation of the tree. I gave it a swing and I ended up enjoying it.

The phone wasn’t found anywhere, (except for one that was someone else’s, I found that very frustrating) so I made my way back into the house, when I was hit by A FUCKING VISION FROM THE GOD SAD-IST THEMSELF. (It was a “dream” in the form of a Sad-ist animation) it described how “the raccoon girl tricked your sister into throwing it (the phone) out the window” and I was outraged and confused, so I located this “raccoon girl” (a teenager with bleached hair and white cat ears) and asked her if she told her to throw my phone out the window, to which she said know and I had to awkwardly explain that I got it from a dream. 

Soon enough, me and Vinny decided to go upstairs to a party room where there was a stand selling dog bead sticker things (they were kinda like those things where you iron a bunch of beads and they turn into pixel art but there were no beads) and there were 3 options for dogs, one that was white brown and black, another that was tan and white, and another that was brown and white. if we typed in something other than these dogs an image other than them would show (typing in “dog” made a tacky gag art for a dog with sunglasses with its paws on the word dog) so we picked which dog we wanted and headed into the line to collect them. There I met a girl who decided we should have an undertale fight. It was fun! She made funky moves and attacks that I dodge and keep myself mute because frisk doesn’t speak. Soon enough, it turned into an actual undertale fight and she changed the background to the sky from The Black Cat from vrchat because she “likes the stars” and she became a drawing and floated up to the top right corner of it.

[hpoutdoors]

Why Woodie-n’t You?

How hunting woodcock can increase your dog’s success with waterfowl.

By: Chad Fix

Most of us hunting dog owners think our dogs are the greatest things since sliced bread. We’re the soccer moms of the hunting community. The truth of the matter is 90% of hunting dogs are decent, at best; this is especially true in the duck hunting. It’s not the dog’s fault either – it’s us, the handlers.

We don’t look from an outside lens. The standard colloquialism in the duck hunting tribe: “I’ve got a great a duck dog. He’s pretty good with pheasants too when we’ve gone to the Dakotas.” Upon hearing this, I just think to myself: so he’s pretty good with pheasants in the thick stuff (cattails, hedgerows, etc.), but why is he good for nothing at finding crippled ducks that bury themselves in the exact, same cover?

I imagine if I actually asked this out loud, the conversation would go South as quick as a blue-winged teal even feels a semblance of an autumn chill. My hope would be that the conversation would be like the following conversation (or better!):

“Oh what are you talking about? He’s found some this past season. And it’s a cripple, we’re talking about here…those things are long gone…besides, they’re food for the foxes and eagles.”

(what a note of consolation at the end…anyway, back to the convo)

So if foxes and eagles can find them, why can’t your dog?

“Look, just the other day my dog made a 200 yard retrieve on the water.”

That’s, great! You should be proud of your dog, BUT what about all those cripples? It doesn’t make sense; your dog shouldn’t have a problem finding them in similar cover he finds pheasants. Am I wrong?

Please hear me out.

First off, we, as hunters, have a moral obligation to give fair chase to every animal we down. Why then is it okay to easily shrug off cripples that go into thick cover? We owe it them.

Further, you owe it to your dog. They’ll get the same praise from you – just like the time when they made that 200 yard retrieve on the water. Which only encourages them even more to hit the thick stuff even harder the next time – there’s a reward!

                                                         GIve your dog more credit in this.

Call it hypothesizing, but there’s a truth to be heard: when a dog is exposed to a certain type of cover they may familiarize the scent of it with the game they’re scenting out; if a dog has been exposed to pheasants in cattails, it may have learned that a “Good boy” is when they sniff out and retrieve a pheasant – meanwhile, not giving two sniffs to a duck because a “Good boy” for a duck is when it’s retrieved on the water or cut corn field. Essentially there could be a disconnect.

The connection can be made through exposure.

If it’s hunting season for you, the best form of exposure you can provide for your dog is through pass shooting on land. Look to add a couple of these hunts to your schedule for some needed change. My old man and I have been fortunate to pass shoot a wood duck roost for the past few years with our dogs. It has made a world of difference because it has a perfect diversity of thick cover: we hunker down in tall grass with the dogs, behind us are woods, and in front of us are cattails.

As the birds pass, they’ll fall in each type of cover – given their flight path, how fast they’re going and how long it takes / how many shots fired before a bird is dropped. Thereby giving opportunity for the pups to associate birds in all three types of cover.

After one or two hunts, your four-legged companion will get their reps in – pending you being able to drop some. If you do, be sure to put a good mark on the bird(s) that fall before pulling up on more flying overhead. Birds don’t stray too far from where they land if there is cover for them to hide in.

You want to set your dog up for success, so putting them on the exact area it falls is the best option to do such. When you bring your dog over to the marked fall, position your dog downwind of the bird, if possible. It’s a cardinal sin not to and I can’t count how many hunters just go in with their dogs without thinking that through. It’s those same hunters that were the big pheasant hunters mentioned before and the ones I wonder if they even know how critical wind plays into hunting pheasants: hunt into the wind for the dog’s sake and, secondly, because pheasants generally fly with the wind. Just my two cents, but now I’m digressing…

So what if you don’t have that ideal pass shooting spot? No problem! If you’re in the Mississippi or Atlantic Flyway, you’re in luck. There’s another migratory “woodie” you can hunt: the American Woodcock. Before snarling your nose at me, hear me out.

They are an absolute hoot to hunt. They’re the reason why my girl, after a catastrophic encounter when she was a pup, has turned the corner on becoming a solid duck dog too. “Yeah, but woodcock eat worms. That’s gross!”

Know what else eats worms? All those bluegill you caught this past spring on their spawning beds. I didn’t see you complaining after your fourth plate of filleted, fried gluttony. While I’m at it, those jumbos (perch) and crapps (crappies) eat maggots! Walleyes eat leeches for Pete’s sake. Turn your eyes to birds of a feather. The most highly coveted upland game for the table, the ruffed grouse, is found in the same cover. The first one I ever shot in my life had a garter snake it its crop! It was the best tasting bird I’ve ever had.

Pluck a woodcock and put it against your favorite duck species on the spit and see which one tastes better. I’ll put $100 down that the woodcock will taste better.

                                               Laugh all you want at their prominent beaks.                                                        There's more than meets the eye.

That’s what I told my “duck-hunting-or-nothing” buddy during the annual “Waterfowl Weekend” that he hosts for a handful of his friends and family. In years past, we hunted all day for 3-4 days straight. Normally the birds are flying in the mornings and loaf the rest of the day. I believe we’ve only shot one bird out of the 5 Waterfowl Weekends I’ve attended over the years during the afternoon hunts, and that was during the middle of a migration – sadly, we just were in a bad location.

Getting to bad, last year’s Waterfowl Weekend was atrocious. We were in between migrations. The dogs were getting restless. We were too; after the second, full day of hunting without seeing a single bird in the two different counties we hunted, I asked my buddy if we could change up our afternoon activity for the third day.

Instead of hitting the water, I suggested hitting the woods. It’ll give opportunity for all of us (dogs included) to at least get a change of scenery, do a little walking where the leaves were dropping, and maybe put some meat on the table.

My “duck-hunting-or-nothing” buddy graciously relented. When the time came, we limited out in twenty minutes. His grin said it all when we rallied up before walking back to the truck.

“I don’t know why I haven’t done that before, but you got me hooked for life. It took a couple birds to get used to shooting in thick cover, but I think it helped me to key in on the bird and not worry about the cover around me…It’s good for Leo (his 2 year old chessie) too – bird diversity in different cover only helps!”

So it not only helped him change perspectives on shooting better through cover (as this sometimes can be the case when hunting out of a duck blind), but it also benefitted his dog. Win, win!

                                                  The next day he also got his first grouse

They also have a little oily, funky taste – just like our beloved waterfowl. And, their breasts are red meat – surprisingly enough – something I’d bet our pups may be able scent as well. I could be stretching it on that, but who knows (considering their olfactory acumen). The similarities can help your dog associate that oily, funky smell to woods, bogs, tall grass, creek beds, and edges of cattails – where woodcock tend to reside. This, in turn, can help to turn on the proverbial light bulb upstairs in their noggins. They’ll be versed to associate that smell to various cover.

What if you don’t have woodcock in your area? Try to walk for snipe after a duck hunt, or if your state permits it, have a blind mate paddle around close to shore with your boat and see if you can jump any.

Another great option is getting into some dove shoots, if your state allows it. Typically you’ll be setting up on tree lines, so you’ll probably be getting some thick cover for your dog to work in. Dove shoots provide the bonus for reinforcing steadiness prior to the season.

And if you’re reading this in the offseason, then you’re in luck! You’ll have the opportunity to get in some offseason reps, then some dove hunting, and then on to the real show when the waterfowl season begins. But, first, let’s get into training.

Hopefully you have saved a duck wing or, better yet, freeze a small to medium sized duck, such as a teal, bufflehead or wood duck. If not, contact a local retriever club – they should have someone that could provide you one.

Start first with your mindset. Always put your dog in situations to succeed, especially when they’re learning something new. Challenging a dog has its time and place, but not at this point.

First, place the wing or bird on the edge of the cattails or tall, thick grass and have your dog retrieve it. Then slowly progress further into the cattails/thick grass by 3 foot intervals on a straight line. This helps keep the scent localized so the dog can find it easier. Think of it like a blood trail with deer; each spot you drop it will retain its indication that a bird was there. Your dog will then be encouraged to go deeper into the cover.

Remember to never just throw it in the cover as we’re not training the dog to mark the bird, but to scent the bird. In addition, it’ll give you the chance to bury the bird under cover, once your dog progresses successfully along.

That’s what it’s all about. Success is the greatest tool in the dog trainer’s tool box. Exposing your dog to success in various cover only makes them better.

I’ll be the first to say that my dog does not have the best nose. In fact, I be willing to say that your dog probably has a better one than hers. Remember earlier where the conversation was about finding cripples?

Well, my pup had a 95% success rate last season at finding crippled waterfowl. Since your dog has a better nose than mine, this translates to you and your pooch having an even higher percentage of success! In turn, you’ll have more meat in the freezer. Plus, who wouldn’t want to add more fond memories with our best friend? There’s something to be said about seeing your dog come out of the gnarly stuff with a bird you downed; if you have even the faintest of pulse, it’ll give you goosebumps.

Versatility is the name of the game. Think outside the box for a change. Quit being a soccer mom!

                                                         This won't be a sight you loathe

[leafie-draws]

I can’t believe I’ve actually been feeling kinda homesick lately, I especially miss the snow (of all things lol) I miss how how sharp and bitter cold the winters were back home, and how the sky would have that funky orange hue and how deep and crunchy the snow was and how I’d have to bundle up to keep warm.  I mean it makes sense for me to feel this way; I’ve never been away from my family before, and they don’t even call or visit me so I feel completely isolated from them and it’s weird.  And I think it’s weird how much I miss my hometown more than anything, even though I actually despised living there before.  It was such a small, shabby place but it reminds me of simpler times.  I especially miss going for walks late at night: walking to the diner and getting a coffee at 2am, hearing the frogs and crickets chirping, walking through empty streets for hours without seeing a single car or person, feeling the dampness in the air and seeing the streetlight’s glow on the wet streets, and watching the sun come up at the beach. Even walking through the tall grassy fields and hanging out with deer feels like a distant, bittersweet memory to me and a part of me wants to go home for a week just to walk around and take pictures because I definitely regret not taking pics and spending my time there better before moving here. I mean I was wrapped up in a lot of things during that time; taking care of my grandparents before their passing, helping with the funeral arrangements and helping my family cope with that. I was overwhelmed with such a sense of duty and I could only focus on what I NEEDED to do rather than focus on the things I wanted to do and now 9 months later I wish that I had just made time for those things. Like why, why didn’t I spend more time with my friends or make more of an effort to connect with my family? There’s so few members of my family alive today and they all came for my grandparents’ funeral, there were family members that I haven’t even met before but I was so focused on repressing my emotions and trying to be there for my dad and my aunt that I didn’t even care at the time. In fact I was actually bitter about seeing my relatives, “like how dare they come now when my grandparents are gone, most of these people have been absent throughout most of my life and they choose now of all times to be interested!?”  Looking back on it now I can see how childish I was, even though I was trying to be a big mature and responsible adult™ I still didn’t know what to do. In fact I don’t think anyone really knows tbh, you just kinda do your best and hope for the best. And I guess because of that I shouldn’t have these regrets and beat myself up over it. Because I did try my best and I made the best choices that I thought I could make at that time and that’s how you learn and grow as a person and I can’t punish myself for trying my best, especially during one of the most emotional times of my life. Idk I’ve been dwelling on this for a while now and I just had to get this off my chest I guess lol

[spajonas]

A Look Back At 2017

Hoo boy. Looking back at this year, I’m surprised I survived. The dumpster fire that is our country tried really hard to suck me in and distract me. There were many days when I spent hours on Facebook, scrolling and hoping for good news, and then the day was over and I had done nothing. John Scalzi wrote a great post about how hard it is to stay creative in desperate times (and here at the LA Times) and it really resonated with me this year. It was hard to stay focused, and oftentimes, I could not.

Still, it was a fun and fruitful year, and lots of my goals became clarified by September. I started out the year strong with lots of walking and writing. We went to Disneyworld as a family in the summer and had the best time. And I enjoyed the fall in my wonderful park. I made a lot of decisions about the course of my career to come and kept the boat afloat through some hard times. All in all, I think I did rather well!

Let’s take a look at what I managed to do…

2015 was “The Year I Say No,” 2016 was “The Year I Give No Fucks,” and 2017 was supposed to be “The Year I Have Fun.”

Did I have fun this year with my career? No. Not always. I struggled a lot with my path on this author journey. I listened to too many people who gave me the wrong advice. I let other people tell me that my advice was worthless because I wasn’t successful. I had doubts. A lot of them. It wasn’t fun at all. I remember walking home one day from dropping the kids at school and thinking, “This is not ‘having fun,’ is it, Stephanie?”

It was then that I decided to do something about it. I left the majority of the Facebook author groups I belonged to, places that didn’t add anything positive to my life. I actually started my own author group on FB and filled it with people I love, which helped me have more fun. It wasn’t much longer before many of the author groups on FB either imploded or folded, so I feel like I did the right thing there.

I decided to get rid of things that did me no good, like my traditional newsletter. Now, I blog and my subscribers get all my posts instead, which is a much happier place for me. I got rid of paying for newsletter subscribers or paying for constant advertising that wasn’t working. It was really freeing! And I finally feel like my money is going towards things that make a difference.

Looking back at 2016 and the “Year I Give No Fucks” I’m really glad I had that base to work on for 2017. I continued to not care about stuff like making a best seller list or getting involved in a high-stakes box set or doing newsletter swaps with everyone. I told my awesome crit partner, Tracy, at some point that “I just pretend like I’m the only person on the planet publishing. I’m the only one who matters.” No competing. No comparisons. It’s just me and my books and whatever *I* want to do. That mindset has done me a lot of good in 2017.

All in all, I did well this year. I think my net income did grow because, even though I did spend a lot of money on ads, my gross income is much more than it was the previous year. I’ll have to do the books and find out, but I’m pretty sure I made *some* money. Hey, it’s better than nothing!

Books and Writing Goals Accomplished?

(All last year’s goals are in bold, and my notes on what happened with each come after)

I WILL PUBLISH FOUR BOOKS THIS YEAR. This is a tricky one because I technically published only 3 novels this year but then I also published a few other things. Here’s what came out:

THE DAYDREAMER DETECTIVE OPENS A TEA SHOP Feb 27, 2017 CRASH LAND ON KURAI Jul 18, 2017 SUMMER HAIKUS Oct 1, 2017 (Re-release) CHAOS IN KADOMA WARD Nov 15, 2017 OZONI AND ONSENS: A DAYDREAMER DETECTIVE NOVELLA Dec 7, 2017 (Previously only for newsletter subscribers)

I WILL WRITE ALL YEAR LONG. Nope, I didn’t do this. I even took time off! Why? Because this was the year I had fun, and there’s nothing that kills fun like working every damned day. I did find myself always in the midst of a first draft or revisions on something though. It was nice not to have a dry spell.

I WILL START UP A PEN NAME BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR. Nope, and I’m not sure I want a pen name now. I’m pretty sure I can do everything I want to do in publishing under this name. I don’t feel like starting over. That’s no fun.

I WILL MAKE SOME BOX SETS THIS YEAR. I did make a boxed set of the Nogiku Series and put it everywhere it needs to be. I also have a pre-order up for the Kami No Sekai Short Story Series that publishes in February. I’m not ready to box up The Daydreamer books yet. Maybe next year.

Marketing, Promotions, Advertising, and Social Media Goals Accomplished?

I WILL SPEND MONEY THIS YEAR. I did spend money this year on advertising. I bought Mark Dawson’s Ads for Authors course and I used it to make effective FB ads which I will continue to do more of in 2018. I continually spend money on Amazon ads every day. I did spend some money on growing my mailing list, which I won’t be doing anymore.

I WILL INCREASE MY MAILING LIST TO 10,000 SUBSCRIBERS. If anything, I went backwards on this goal. I realized that growing my mailing list was only costing me money and not gaining me the fans I was hoping for. My open rates plummeted and only a few people bought books when I had new launches. So now I’m not even using MailChimp anymore and I’m just using my blog, something I wanted to do from the beginning but many people told me that was a mistake. I’m not listening to those people anymore.

MY SOCIAL MEDIA WILL NOT CHANGE. This is the one goal I stuck to like glue. I said, “My Facebook personal profile is a place for me to be personal. I will continue to talk to people via my Facebook Page. Twitter is where I put stuff I’m interested in. Other than that, I will share my work to Google Plus and LinkedIn. My Tumblr is still doing well, and I will continue to post to Instagram every day.” And yeah, I did all of that, and that’s what I plan on doing next year too. Next year, though, I will spend less time on Facebook, more time reading.

Personal Goals Accomplished?

I WILL WALK 1000 MILES THIS YEAR. Yay!! I accomplished my goal in early December and I loved having that goal to work towards all year round. It kept me sane and centered. I can’t wait to get back to it in January. I’ll be doing it again.

I WILL PARTICIPATE IN THE AUDIOBOOK CHALLENGE. I did this and posted about it to the blog yesterday. Check out the post here.

I WILL KNIT MORE. My yearly goal actually panned out this year! I finished off the shawl I had been working on for years and started a new shawl, which I’m almost done with!

I WILL USE MY INSTAPOT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. This definitely happened and I’m still very happy with it.

What else happened in 2017?

We did a fair amount of traveling in 2017 including visiting my family in Charleston, we went to the indoor waterpark, Kalahari, in Eastern Pennsylvania, and then our big DisneyWorld trip in June, which was my favorite family vacation of all time.

I redesigned the blog this past summer. I was ready for a change and wanted something more flexible and easier to keep up to date. I also redesigned my header images and the images that share to FB for all posts going forward. I’m happy with the design and I plan to keep this design for three or more years.

We had that cool eclipse! The solar eclipse was so much fun. We made our viewing boxes and talked a lot about the science behind the eclipse. I really enjoyed it.

After kicking butt on my walking goal all year and then crossing the finish line, I got really sick in December. The head cold finally morphed to an upper respiratory infection and sinus infection and I needed antibiotics for the first time in over two years.

I saw lots of wildlife in the park! Deer, ducks, geese, herons, kingfishers, and a fox are at the top of the list for my favorite encounters.

I started doing monthly videos during the summer, and I love them. It was hard to remember to always take video every day, but after a month, it became habit. Some days I take extra videos so that I have some back-ups in case I forget one day. No big deal. I cheat a little. Lol. Haven’t seen my monthly videos? They’re on YouTube, and I post them every month in my goals posts.

I gave up going to the gym. At some point during the summer, I got so tired of waiting for the men in the gym to share the weight machines that I gave up and stopped going. There was one day when one asshole was using two machines at once, and he got mad at me when I sat at one of the machines. Of course, all of these guys are huge and intimidating, and I just didn’t want to go through the trouble of giving them a piece of my mind. I plan to do more weight lifting at home in 2018.

I stopped dyeing my hair. Yep. I decided to go gray and stop dyeing my hair. I may do some funky colors again like I did in 2012 and 2013, but otherwise I just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of it anymore.

I bought a PC. This is a true shocker. I basically bought a PC to be my dictation machine. So far, so good. I don’t hate it, but I only use it when I’m writing a first draft. Otherwise, I use my Mac all the time.

And finally, I switched over to Vellum for all of my ebooks and print books. I’m very happy with the convenience of Vellum and I love the design of all of my books now. This is one of my favorite purchases of 2017!

My Favorite Blog Posts

These are my favorite blog posts of 2017!

Patience Is A Virtue – Good things come to those who wait… Yes, it’s true.

On The Merits Of Author Dreams – An essay in which I talk about dreams, success, and keeping going.

Losing (And Finding) My Way – I changed how I wrote and lost my way. Now I’m back to where I started.

The Results Of My Reader Survey – Here are the results of my reader survey! (Video)

Neon Beast – I finished this knitting project I had been working on for almost three years! Meet Neon Beast!!

Happy 4th Anniversary In Publishing! – It’s my fourth anniversary of being a publishing author! Here are all my positive and negative takeaways from this year and what to expect in Year Five and beyond…

Why I’m No Longer Using A Mailing List – I’m making the transition to using my blog with a notification system to reach my readers and here’s why.

Let’s Make Salmon Hot Pot! – Recipe – This is my favorite thing about winter! Enjoy this hot pot treat and fill up your belly with salmon soup and lots of veggies. You’ll love it.

Japan Tea Shop Inspiration – Tea is an important part of Japan and my books! Let’s look at some inspirational photos for Mei’s tea shop from THE DAYDREAMER DETECTIVE OPENS A TEA SHOP.

And That’s It!

Come back on January 1st to hear about my goals and aspirations for 2018!

A Look Back At 2017 was originally published on S. J. Pajonas