#And I will most certainly lose it if you say “oh you have this probably” and then when I ask why say absolutely jack fucking shit

[insaneillusionist]

I love searching for mental illness tags I can pin on myself so I can fix what's wrong with me like a little checklist.

Anyway if anyone tries to suggest I might have a specific mental illness unless I ask for you to tell me, I will most likely block you or ignore that. This is one of the few boundaries I am forming, and it is a hard one.

[walpu]

pre-relationship stage with them

characters - Gepard, Aventurine notes- gn!reader, pining, light angst but mostly fluffy, a bit of hurt/comfort. I love blonde preservation men okay. no beta we die like the economy in my country

Gepard

Poor poor Geppie.

He pines so much. Treats his love for you like a tender flower. Even his feelings for you is something so precious to him, he's happy to simply be in love with a person like yourself.

I feel like this poor man willd try so much to do everything for you without giving away how deeply he cares and how intense his feelings are.

"Aw, lil' Geppie, you care about y/n so much!"

"I- I do not. I mean, of course I do! But- There's nothing surprising about it. After all, it's my duty as a Captain to care about every citizen. And, of course, it's my duty as a friend to care about y/n.

Sure, Gepard. Sure.

He would never say something like this to your face though. After all, he simply can't lie to you.

Oh but how he adores you. His face literally lights up when he sees you, the most gentle smile blooms on his face when he watches you doing even the most trivial task.

Tries to act like his usual self around you but it's pretty evident to everyone that you're his weak spot.

Would gently scold you if you would ever put yourself in danger or break any rules.

If you would get seriously hurt would actually lose his mind. Would blame himself even if the situation has nothing to do with him. Beats himself up, asks for your forgiveness and does his best to help you.

Despite the popular belief that he would prioritize his work over his beloved, I don't think it's true. Sure, he takes his duties seriously, but he would always find time for you. Would make sure to see you at least two times a weak, would answer your texts and calls. If you need him, would certainly be right by your side. Even if it means he would have to work overtime later.

Tease him a bit and he's all red. Doesn't try to stop you though, secretly adores your attention.

Would be oblivious to the fact that you like him back. Like. Really dense about it.

He's just so used to giving, to protecting, he simply doesn't expect anything in return. He has silently accepted the fact that you may never love him back, but he will be there for you regardless of it, no matter what.

Plus, he feels like he may not be the one for you. Like you need someone who doesn't have to constantly put their life in danger, who can always be by your side, who won't break your heart. Because he's painfully aware that each fight may actually be his last. That he may not come back to you.

Speaking of that. He would make sure to say a proper goodbye to you before every battle or expedition. Nothing too sappy or depressing, he doesn't want to make you worry, after all. Would probably tell you to take care of yourself, to sleep well and to eat healthy food lol. He really just wants to make sure that he got to see you before heading straight into the battle.

If you're a Silvermane guard as well, would restrict himself even more, not wanting to use his position or to be pushy. However, would still be worried sick, even more so. Would still talk to you before every battle, asking almost begging you to be careful.

Loves giving you head pats.

Generally the goodest boy. Just make sure to make the first move because otherwise he would be satisfied with just being your loyal puppy.

Aventurine

Good lord.

This man is such a mess.

Be ready for a mindfuck but not because he's manipulative towards you or something like that but because there's so many layers of trauma in him.

You have to be patient with him okay.

I feel like pre-relationship stage would be so confusing to him. He had flings in the past, okay? Short ones, meaningless. Something to distress, to feel another person's touch, to feel some sort of connection, no matter how shallow it is. He knew he uses those people and that those people use him in return. Not once he asked them to be gentle or caring.

But with you it's so different. Doesn't matter if your relationship started sexually and developed into something more or if it was mostly platonic/slow since the beginning. He still feels something. And he's not sure if he likes it.

Sometimes it feels so good to be seen, to be addressed as a person, not just as a tool. But sometimes it scares him. After all, this man hasn't been vulnerable with anyone for a long, long time.

I'm sorry but I feel like he would try to pull away from you a bit after realizing how much you actually mean to him.

Oh but he will crumble if you reach out to him, okay? He simply can't ditch you like that, not when you see him for him and want him for him.

Even if it's scary.

Would slowly relax around you. Don't expect him to open up easily but still, the more time you spend together, the more his cocky mask will slip away.

Will randomly and out of the blue tell you small details about his past. You two may walk down the street together and he will see something that reminds him of Sigonia so he will share this memory with you.

It may be the smallest thing but it means a lot to him that you listen. Even this tiny moments of vulnerability are hard for him.

On the more positive note, he's so fun to be around. Would tease you and cling to you all of the time. If you tease him back, he would pretend to be offended but would actually enjoy the playful banter a lot.

Just don't tease him too much about him becoming more and more clingy with each passing day.

Spoils you rotten. New clothes, jewelry, watches, shoes, anything you may want or need. He still can't quite get rid of this idea that you have to be convenient for someone to be valuable. It's not like he's trying to buy your love but... Maybe subconsciously he does. Once again, be patient. This man is so used to the fact that all of his alliances are build on mutual benefit that it's still hard to accept that you're really here for him.

Spoiler even when he will feel more stable in your relationship and his mindset will turn more healthy, gift giving will still remain one of his love languages.

Just like Gepard, would care greatly about your safety. He may be careless about his own life but never with yours.

Loves, loves, loves physical contact. As I said before, gets very clingy, putting his arm over your shoulder or tugging on your sleeve. If he's feeling down, would crawl to you side and subtly brush his shoulder against yours or lean to your side. He may still have his confident smile but those small gestures show that he wants you to be the one holding him this time.

Invades your personal space a lot actually. Texts you constantly too lmao.

LOVES SILLY NICKNAMES. Would call you his dearest darling in the sweetest voice during the most inappropriate time and then laugh at your reaction. Would settle for something more casual like "baby" when he's not trying to be a pain in the ass. Still tries to play it off as something teasing. Deep down yearns to call you this without having to pretend that this is just a playful banter between two friends.

Oh and he would dance around the topic of dating, throwing hints but never having the courage to ask openly. So good luck with him.

[leah-lover]

Perfect Olympics.Alexia putellas x Olympian! Reader.

“ Amor, please text me when you get the chance.” you texted the love of your life.

Today was the bronze medal match which Spain heartbreakingly lost. You will never forget the look on your girlfriend’s face or the way she spoke to the interviewers or her overall mannerisms after the loss. She looked completely and utterly broken.

You feared this would happen because of the pressure he has been talking to you about the whole tournament but you know your girlfriend was the best leader you have ever seen. She was strong, and capable of overcoming most things. However, you didn't recognize the girl you saw on the tv after the loss, this was a side of her you have never seen before and that scared you. She scared you.

You got back to training after you sent that message since tomorrow is your big day. Tomorrow will be your gold medal track competition and you shouldn't lose focus.

Alexia didn't answer your text or the next 6 texts that said something along the lines of how worried you were for Alexia and that you just needed to hear her voice.

After you were done training, you stayed in the ice bath wrestling with worry and anxiety for your girlfriend.

You knew she was stubborn and she would probably blame herself for it so you wanted to ease her pain however you could. You also selfishly wanted her to talk to you about your big day tomorrow.

You helplessly called the only person you know would get her to talk to you Irene. After only 2 rings she picked up.

“ How is she?” You asked as soon as she answered.

“ She is fine, don't worry. Focus on tomorrow.” Said the Spanish captain.

“ No Irene, I need to talk to her please.” You pleaded.

“ She is not in the mood, she is lost in her thoughts, just let her collect herself and I will force her to call you.” said Irene , her tone leaving nothing for discussion.

You did as the captain said and you went to your hotel. You showered, got dressed and decided to do the opposite of what Irene told you. You stole the car keys of one of your staffers, got in the car and drove to their hotel.

You knew that they won't let you get inside so you enlisted the help of Jenni.

“ Oh Jenni, I am so sorry about what happened.” You said as soon as you saw her. You pulled her in for the tightest hug you could and held her for a few seconds.

“ Yeah ummm. Alexia is in her room. I will take you to her but she isn't herself right now. Whatever she says, don't take it to heart. “ Warned Jenni before she got you to her room.

You paused for a minute In Front of her door before you pushed the keycard in.

You found her sitting on the edge of her bed wearing one of the tracksuits provided by Spain. Her hair was still in a ponytail and her head was in her hands.

You approached her slowly but you could stop yourself from talking.

“ Oh Alexia!” You said worriedly. Upon hearing your voice she quickly wiped the tears from her face.

“ What are you doing here?” She asked sternly.

“ I came here to check on you. since you didn't answer my texts and Irene didn't let me talk to you.”

“ That was the best idea, you shouldn't have come here.”

“ Ale” you say, trying to grab her face but she pushes you away.

“ Ale” you say again.

“ Just get out. I don't want to talk to anyone.” She says, turning her back to you. You go to her and turn her back so that your face is facing hers.

“ No. NO. you don't get to push me out. I am your girlfriend, I am your love, you don't push me away. You talk to me, complain to me, let me share everything, not just wins and glory. You let me help you and support you. You let me love you damnit.” The way you talked was a strange way to you. You don't yell and certainly not to Alexia which disarmed and stopped her from whatever snarky comment she was going to make.

Tears Bubbled in her eyes so you just took her on for a hug and let her calm down.

“ You are strong ale you will get through this, the whole team will. This wasn't about this game, this loss happened a long time ago, it happened in the game between Colombia. You lost your way because of your coach baby. But either way you lost and it hurts I know. You want to get out of your skin. You want to stop time. You want to go back but you can't. You have to use this to power you. You are good, you are the best, you know you are.” You took her face in your hands. “ You are La Reina, you are the love of my life, and you are the girl I am most proud of in the whole world”. You kiss her lips through the tears and just hold her. She doesn't say anything but you know she is processing everything in her mind.

She fell asleep nuzzled in your neck for about 2 hours, you continued to tub her back and run your hand through her hair while she was asleep. If it wasn't for her apple watch buzzing she would have stayed asleep for longer.

“ How long have I slept?” She whispered half asleep.

“ About 2 hours.” You responded, still running your fingers through her hair.

“ They are asking for me at the dinner hall.”

“I have to go to bed too.”

“ Oh I am so sorry I forgot about your competition tomorrow. How is everything? Are you okay? Are you ready?” She panicked.

“ It's okay, my love. Yes I am okay. Yes I am ready. “ You responded with a smile.

“ Just take care of yourself. Sleep tomorrow and just rest. If you can't for yourself, do it for me.”

She took your lips for a passionate deep kiss and held your hand all the way to the elevator. She gave you one last kiss before the door closed.

When you got to the hotel, you sneaked back into your room and got ready for bed.

“ I don't know how I could ever thank you. You saved me from myself. I love you more than you mi vida. Good luck for tomorrow” Texted Alexia.

“ I love you too.” You responded before you fell asleep.

The next morning was hectic, you got ready for your 400-meter hurdles, did some press, wore your uniform and tried to calm yourself to the best of your ability.

After your introduction, you headed towards your spot and looked for your coach in the stands. That's when your jaw dropped on surprise. Alexia was standing there beside him . You didn't expect her to come to Paris since she didn't have the final and you thought it would be too hard for her. And since you didn't talk to her the whole day you had no idea she was going to come.

You smiled at her as you took your position and gave it your all which let you win gold. Your dream came true, you won gold at the Olympics, you brought gold to Spain, and your girlfriend was in the stands supporting you even after all she has been through.

You ran towards her as soon as it was confirmed you had won gold. You kissed in front of the whole world to see.

“ Oh my god thank you thank you for coming. I know this is hard.” You whispered in her ear.

“ I love you and I am proud of you. I want the whole world to know that the woman I love just won gold. This is my perfect Olympics. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. ” She said before she kissed you again.

Even though her Olympics was a disaster, she insisted on celebrating your Olympic success.

[f1goat]

more than friends + lando norris x part one

In which your best friend wants to help you so you get more sexual experience, but he discovers quickly that he never wants to share you and your new sexual experience with others.

masterlist - playlist

warnings: smut with a plot or a plot with smut? :) sexual content starting next chapter. minors dni! i never proofread so probably grammar or spelling errors

requested: yes, based on: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things (ofc pretending for it to bot mean anything), while he’s actually in love with her

Lando is holding you tightly when he helps you to get into your car. The two of you did talk about him picking you up tonight, but it’s not even near to the time you agreed on. It were your friends who texted him to come pick you up, since you’re drunk. When he arrived he was quick to find out how drunk you are. Lando lets you lose when you’re seated in his car, he puts the seatbelt around you and walks towards his own side. He’s quick to take his seat next to you and to start the car.

“Oh my god,” you slur, “did you already turn on the seat warming for me?”

Lando laughs about your enthusiasm. “Yeah I did,” he tells you.

“You’re the best friend ever,” you continue to slur drunkly. You make yourself comfortable on the car seat. Lando drives away. He can’t help himself and looks at you whenever he has the chance. He wonders why you’re this drunk. 

“Why did you drink so much?” He asks you after a bit of wondering. He can’t think about any reason himself. Normally you don’t like to drink too much. 

“They kept talking about their boyfriends,” you confess without even thinking about it. The alcohol has made your mind hazy. You don’t think things through right now. “And I felt single,” you continue to tell Lando, “and then I realized I’ll probably stay single forever.”

“Don’t say that,” Lando quickly states, “You’re a catch for every boy.”

“And if I ever find a boy who likes me,” you slur further, “he’ll probably lose all interest when he figures out that I have no sexual experience and don’t know what to do.”

Lando hits the brakes as hard as he can. Your confession made him almost ran through a red traffic light. He looks at you with a confused gaze. Of course he has been your friend forever but the two of you never talk about things like this. He knows you aren’t dating a lot and you’re certainly not sleeping around. But he did think you had lost your virginity once. Now that he thinks about it, he has no idea with who he thought that should be. 

And the most fucked up part is that it kinda turns him on to know that you’re a virgin. It makes him think about everything he could teach you and do with you if you were his. The thought of having you while no one else ever did makes him lose all his sane thoughts.

“See even you think it’s weird,” you exclaim annoyed, “just say so Lan. You’re my best friend, you can tell me that it’s weird. The girls also told me.”

“It’s not weird,” Lando is quick to say, “and if anything, I would say a lot of guys would like it.”

You let out a weird fake laugh. “Nice try Lando,” you say annoyed, “I should just find some random guy to take my virginity and teach me some things.”

“No!” Lando says quickly, “Don’t do that. Not with some random guy.”

“With who then Lan? Maybe I should text all my guy friends and ask them, that seems like a great idea,” you continue with the same annoyed tone.

“Just text me,” Lando says so soft he almost whispers it to you. 

You barely hear him. At first you thought your drunk mind made it up that he said that. But when you notice the way he looks at you, you start to believe that he actually said it.

“You would want that?” You ask him.

“Yes,” he confesses, “I can teach you a few things. If you want to.”

“Deal,” you quickly say.

“You can tell me if it’s a deal tomorrow, when you’re not drunk anymore babygirl.”

Babygirl. That’s new.

+++

The following day you wake up with a massive headache. Lando is still sleeping next to you. You wonder why you ended up in his bed instead of in the bed in the guest room where you normally sleep. Weird. You have almost no memories left from last night. When you turn around you notice that Lando is following your moves in his sleep. He presses himself against your body. Weird. You unlock your phone and read some of the messages from last night. Your friends send a couple messages last night in the group text.

Friend 1: did you get home?

Friend 2: ??? Answer y/n

Friend 1: nvm we texted Lando and he told us you got home safe with him

You let out a sigh and start to type a message.

Y/N: oops sorry girls, I’m with Lando & having a massive headache  rn :(

You open your socials and scroll for a bit while waiting until Lando wakes up. It doesn’t take long before he wakes up. You feel him moving next to you in the bed. Carefully you turn around to look if he’s really awake. You’re quickly greeted by his open eyes.

“Morning babygirl,” Lando says with a raspy morning voice. 

“Hi Lan,” you reply softly.

Since when does he call you babygirl? Your mind switches back to yesterday night and you remember him calling you that as well last night. Weird. You remember him something saying that you would have to agree as well when you’re not drunk anymore. About what was that? You try to remember, but your mind leaves you hanging. 

“How are you feeling?” Lando asks you.

“Terrible,” you sigh, “I barely remember anything and I have a massive headache.”

Lando lets out a frustrated sigh, he hoped that you’d remember the conversation from you two from last night. He wonders if he needs to start about the subject or let it be. 

“You drank a lot,” he says eventually, “Why did you even do that?” Of course he already knows the reason, but he wants to hear it again from you. He needs to know for sure that last night wasn’t a drunk lie from you. 

You think about the reasons why you drank that much. Slowly you feel your memories coming back to you. You remember feeling frustrated when you realized how single - and inexperienced - you’re in comparison with your friends. They talked about their boyfriends and their sex lives a lot, both subjects you couldn’t say anything. You remember drinking too much because you wanted to forget about your awful love life. Then you start to remember the car ride back with Lando.

“Fuck,” you mutter, “I already told you, didn’t I?”

Lando nods to confirm your thoughts. He waits for you to continue. You should remember the rest by now as well, right?

“Oh my god,” you suddenly exclaim, “did I really ask you to teach me those things? Fuck I’m sorry Lan, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Lando realizes that you don’t remember everything correctly. It went different. You were talking about different boys who could teach you those things, random guys even. He was the one who offered to do it himself. 

“It didn’t go like that babygirl,” he says slowly, “I offered.”

You start to remember the conversation in more details now. Lando is right. He did offer. You feel a blush creeping up on your cheeks. What do you need to tell him now? You think about everything that can go wrong when you’re getting involved with him like that. But you also can’t shake off the thoughts about doing those things with Lando. You have had a crush on him for a while, you can probably say that you’re in love with him. In love with your best friend like a real idiot. It wouldn’t be bad to explore everything with him, he’s the guy you trust most. But what if you can’t keep it casual like that? You already know you want more.

“I remember now,” you confess.

“And I’m still offering,” Lando continues, “I don’t even want to think about you doing those kind of things with a random guy.”

“But you do want to do those, uh those things with me?” You ask awkwardly.

“Yes,” Lando is quick to confirm, “It’s not like I’m the most experienced guy around, but I can teach you some things.”

“But what if that ruins our friendship?” You ask him afraid.

“It won’t,” Lando quickly states, “We have to set some boundaries. Like having a safe word for if you’re not comfortable with what I’m doing and about how we will keep it from ruining our friendship.”

The following conversation is a bit awkward, but it’s a good one. Lando tells you about his boundaries, he doesn’t want you to have sex with someone else in the mean time - but he does want to teach you everything he knows. Teach. It even sounds ridiculous when you think about it. But you can’t deny that you want it. Fuck, there’s nothing you want more on this moment.

“So what safe word will you chose?” Lando asks you. 

“How do you see this going?” You ask back, “Do I need to make you a list or something with everything I want? Do we need to plan this like teaching sessions?”

Lando softly laughs. He pulls your body closer towards himself. In only milliseconds he’s pressed up against you. You squirm under his touch. Lando lets out a groan. It’s insane what you’re already doing to him. Your innocence is turning him on so much. 

“If you want you can make a list,” he tells you with a smile, “and if you want we can plan your so called teaching sessions. Although, I suggest to let things happen a bit more naturally.”

“Naturally?” You ask him confused.

“Yes babygirl,” Lando replies, “Can you turn around and face me?”

You do what he asks you. You turn yourself around. Lando his face is only a couple inches away from you now. It takes you everything to stop yourself from going closer. He stares at you and you can’t stop staring back. Of course you already knew he’s beautiful, but now you’re seeing it from even closer.

“Can I touch you?” Lando asks you while he maintains eye contact with you. You can’t find the words to answer his question, even when you only want to say yes. So you show him a simple nod. 

“I need words baby,” he says, “I’ll only do things to you if I’m sure that it’s what you want.”

“Touch me,” you say with a soft voice. When Lando takes a couple more seconds you even add another word. “Please.” 

Fuck if he wasn’t turned on already this would be the moment for it. Lando can’t stop imagining you begging for him - for his touch, his cock and more. He shakes the thoughts off, maybe that’s something for later. If he’s lucky. 

He softly puts his hand on your cheek and brings your face even closer to his. Without giving it a second thought he presses his lips against yours. Softly he presses multiple kisses against your lips. You are quick to open your mouth a bit, hoping that he wants more. Just like you do at this moment. Lando grants your wish. He lets his tongue enter your mouth and starts to explore your mouth with his own. You feel your stomach tighten a bit. 

Why does it feel so good to kiss with your best friend?

Lando moves his hand to your body. He pulls you even closer towards himself. Then he starts to draw figures on your lower back with his fingers. You let your hands wander around his body as well. At first you’re focused on his hair, softly tugging on some of his curls. You love his curls. Lando moves his face back a bit, you directly miss the feeling of his lips on yours. 

“How does that feel?” He asks you. His hand is still placed on your lower back. You want it even lower. How would if feel if he would grab your ass? 

“Good,” you confess, “really good.”

Lando is hand is still on the same place. You almost feel yourself aching for more of his touch. Do you need to tell him? He is watching you in silence. It surprises you that you feel quite comfortable with him watching you like this. 

“You should take a shower,” Lando says eventually, “We’re going out for lunch with Max.”

You send him a surprised look. That was it? 

Lando laughs softly, “Patience babygirl, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

You almost tell Lando that you feel turned on, almost. This will be a long day. With a soft huff you get out of the bed and walk towards the bathroom. The cold air distracts you from your feelings, for a few seconds you forget about how turned on you are right now.

“Maybe you can add that to you list,” Lando jokes, “Shower sex. I have never done that either.”

Great. Now you can’t even shower anymore without thinking about Lando taking you underneath the water. This will ruin a lot of things, but strangely you aren’t that afraid for it to ruin things between Lando and you. 

“I thought I didn’t need to make a list,” you tell him.

“Maybe you should,” Lando replies, “I think I’d like a list after all. What if I forget something eh?”

You show him a small smile before disappearing in the bathroom. Lando sighs when you close the door. It took him a lot of good will to stop things instead of going further with you. It has been a while since he has been this hard. He can’t even remember the last time he was this turned on now that he thinks of it. It probably was last summer when you wore that tight bikini.

part two

[booksandchainmail]

continuing my read of Anne Lister's diaries, now up to 1820 (part 1 here).

It has to be incredibly awkward at these houseparties where Anne has had liaisons with multiple women there, but I'm given to understand this is also how modern lesbian socializing works

It gets brought up that the only thing preventing Anne and Mariana from living together (at least in retrospect) was money, with Anne needing to be able to provide ~30 pounds a year for Mariana, which sheds a new light on how focused Anne is on her financials and potential inheritance

Class keeps coming up! Mariana would be okayish with Anne having a lowerclass girl on the side, but not someone in their social circles

Notably Anne did not encode this passage: "Sat up lovemaking, she conjuring me to be faithful, to consider myself as married, & always to act to other women as if I was M---'s husband." And from then on she does! They talk it over a bit more through the next few days, and from then Anne focuses on how in time they may live together, and refers to Mariana as her wife

Mariana's later letters also reflect this: "I shall not lose you, my husband, shall I? Oh, no, no. You will not, cannot, forget I am your constant, faithful, your affectionate wife."

It is noted again that Anne has a gentleman's manners towards other women, and there's a bit where a woman stops to visit Mariana and says that other girls are scared of Anne, particularly citing her "deep-toned voice as very singular"

"Yet my manners are certainly peculiar, not at all masculine but rather softly gentleman-like. I know how to please girls." No one every accused Anne Lister of lacking self-confidence! Also, interesting to see the Takarazuka-style butch ethos of "woman who is better at being a man then men are" already present here.

"Musing on the subject of being my own master. Of going to Buxton in my own carriage with a man & a maidservant. Meeting with a elegant girl of family & fortune; paying her attention;taking her to see Castleton; staying all night; having a double bedroom; gaining her affections, etc. Mused on all this but did not let it lead to anything worse."

one of Anne's acquaintances mentions a local cook/housekeeper, Mrs Ruspin, who after several years "turn[ed] out to be a man", and then eloped to London with the housemaid and opened a shop

The most common word in this book is probably vulgar. Anne thinks everyone is vulgar: her neighbors, her family, random townsfolk, girls she's flirting with...

We now come to the house party from sitcom-hell: present are Anne Lister, Isabella (her longterm ex who she's trying to extricate herself from), Isabella's sister Charlotte, Nantz (the sister of Anne's wife, who Anne had a brief fling with), Nantz's sister Harriet, and Miss Vallance (new and pretty).

I truly cannot summarize the amount of fuckery going on in this section. Anne spends every evening hanging out for a bit in someone's bedroom, then she'll switch rooms and whoever the new room belongs too will pout about her having been somewhere else beforehand. Anne is paying a lot of attention to Miss Vallance, Isabella and Nantz are jealous, Anne is trying to console Isabella without changing any of her behavior, Charlotte is indignant on Isabella's behalf, Anne is half-heartedly and smugly sleeping with Nantz, etc

And of course Anne caps this off by starting to flirt with Harriet, meaning that she has now hit on all four of her wife's sisters

[doukeshi-kun]

Ahem…Keshi…any thoughts about pornstar!nikolai? 🎤

I just think he’d be perfect for that job. He has a nice physique, a huge cock, he’s got the stamina, the enthusiasm— he’d be having so much fun. Just imagine something similar to the director!nikolai x reader AU, but here, Nikolai would be a well-known and pretty successful porn actor already, and the reader is a newbie and she gets to be Kolya‘s co-star!! Totally not losing my mind about this :>

𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙗𝙞𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧

replies ✥ i couldn't articulate my thoughts well but here's a drabble because i definitely agree with you hio. i agree with you a HUNDRED percent. will i probably make this another au/series? most likely ayeee

contents ✥ n.sfw 18+, fem!reader, petnames

“Nice to meet you, sugar.”

You shyly accept Nikolai's hand, shaking it. Your heart is beating fast as he sits right next to you with a few papers in hand. You know what are those—they are contracts and briefings for a short porn movie you are about to film with this hot star right next to you.

You have known Nikolai since a few years ago when you first stumbled upon his video on a website while you were trying to satisfy yourself from your own sexual frustration. Safe to say, most, if not all, of his videos, certainly did help you get off. You have heard from some of your lucky pornstar friends that has worked with him of how good he is in bed.

Not to mention, his physique is enough to make your imagination run wild.

You started as a camgirl, before a few producers reached you out, offering roles. You declined them though, as you are anxious to venture deeper into the industry. However, you did accept this particular offer a little too quickly. An offer to film a porn video with Nikolai—who doesn't want that?

“Are you nervous?” He asks. His voice is sultry and gentle, though his grin is naughty and playful. You nod slowly. Your eyes can't help but trail from his body to his crotch. He is wearing a compressed black shirt and grey joggers. He is sitting with his legs spread as he skims the pages of the contract. It is just the two of you in the small prep room, as the staff are probably out there preparing the scene—you don't care. It is hard to think when Nikolai is beside you.

“My eyes are up here, sugar.” He says in a teasing voice and you look up immediately with a flustered face. Nikolai cackles—his voice is so nice. “You’re so cute. Don't be sorry, I'm used to it.” He winks.

You smile sheepishly, fiddling with your fingers. This prep room is hot—too fucking hot, even with the AC on. The very cock you watched almost every night is just within your reach. Your mouth waters, so you reach your cup of water to quench your non-existent thirst.

“I actually haven't seen you before... in videos.” Nikolai suddenly says as he puts down the papers on his thigh.

“Oh, right. I'm— This is my first recording for this kind of stuff.” You reply. Nikolai tilts his head, confused.

“Wait, so... Wait, do you even know what are we about to do right now?”

“I-I do! I mean, this is my first recording as a p-pornstar, you know. I am actually a camgirl... before I got offered to this.”

“May I see?”

You want to die—Nikolai wants to watch your videos? You are not even that popular but you do have a following. He gives you his phone, for you to search yourself. “Well, I guess.” You say as you search your own site for him to see. He grins, taking the phone once you find it.

He scrolls through your page, humming and chuckling at something you wish to not know. He looks at you, eyes studying you up and down and then to the screen. “You’re a faceless camgirl. No wonder I haven't seen you before.”

“Y-Yeah...”

“Hm?”

Nikolai clicks on one of your videos and you squeal in embarrassment when you realize that video was recorded when you were wearing a very sexy harlequin costume. You remember the whole time you were pleasing yourself to the camera, your mind kept replaying a certain porn video that was starred by Nikolai. It is impressive how you did not scream out his name when you squirted right onto the camera.

“You look sexy in that, sugar. So gorgeous!” He praises and your cunt clenches when you hear it. “I happen to love this sort of costume myself.” He adds and you swear your stomach feels funny at this point.

“I'll dress up like that more for you.”

“Oh?”

You bite your lips, realizing you just said it. But you know you cannot be timid, especially as a pornstar. So you give him a little sly smile, bringing your face closer to him. “What if I say that I dress like that because of you?”

Nikolai snorts, nudging your chin teasingly. “Confidence, I see. I like that too.” He says before he clicks on the 'Follow' button. “How about this, sugar? If you do well for today's filming, I'll bring you to my place.”

Your eyes widen. You want to nod eagerly, you do. But suddenly, the door to the prep room is opened from the outside. A staff calls for Nikolai to get him ready. He gets up and fixes his joggers. Your eyes catch the sight of the lines of his cock—it's big—through the fabric and you find yourself swallowing your saliva at the excitement brewing in your heart. Nikolai smirks, knowing well that he just got himself a jackpot.

“Look forward to it, sugar. You're gonna have fun, I promise ya'.”

©doukeshi-kun 2024 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

[mirohlayo]

FRENCH LOVE

( French is romantic, at least when you understand it. )

warning : fluff

note : I had to write in my native language at least once

word count : 683

Charles came to take a seat next to you, on the empty spot on the sofa. His eyes admired you with such a special and indescribable depth, that you couldn't describe what feeling he felt deep inside when he laid his eyes on you. “Have you finished your report?” His arm naturally came to rest on the edge of the sofa, moving closer to you, his fingers brushing the tip of your shoulder. “Yes, for today.” You try as best you can to hide your embarrassment by turning off your laptop.

“Viens ici, mon coeur” (come here, sweetheart) You didn't understand these words, only you quickly understood their meaning when Charles opened his arms wide so that you could snuggle into them. So with a light and beating heart, you settled comfortably into his comforting embrace. “Tu es tellement belle et ravissante comme ça” (you look so beautiful and lovely like that)

You didn't know what he was talking about, what words he was careful to use. After all, you don't understand the French language. But his perfect smile and bright eyes made you understand that it was probably something positive. So, you smiled at him in turn, although you didn't know the meaning of his sentence.

Several minutes, warm and peaceful, passed like this. His hand wandered quietly through your hair, plunging you a little deeper into a well deserved sleep. "J'aurai aimé prendre soin de toi ainsi... mais pas juste en tant que meilleur ami. En tant que copain" (I wish I could take care of you like that...but not just as your best friend. But as your boyfriend). His voice drummed strangely loud in your ears.

You sat up slightly so you could look at him, a questioning look fixed on your face. Your expression made him chuckle softly, and his fingers came up to sweep away a strand of hair. "Heureusement que tu ne comprends pas ce que je dis" (Luckily you don’t understand what I’m saying.). Your eyebrows suddenly furrowed, perplexed by how he always spoke in French when he was around you.

"What did you say ?". You could only blurt out these few words, a sign of your incomprehension of the language he used. A glint of sadness moved discreetly behind his pupils, before he drifted his gaze behind you. “I said… fortunately you don’t understand what I say when I speak French.”

You tilted your head slightly, confused. "Why ?". Your eyes begged him to answer you without you even realizing it. He looked away again, feeling insecure. “You will certainly never see me the same way again…” His sentence is only a slight sigh, which nevertheless managed to reach your ears.

Your hands were now intertwined with his, while he showed a saddened expression. “You will always be the most important person in my life, Charles.” His eyes searched yours, perhaps to find hope and courage there. "Even though I love you? Not like your best friend. I love you, I'm in love with you. So much in love that I'm losing my mind."

He pauses for a moment before continuing slowly. “I was trying to be obvious because French is a romantic language, but I think it failed.” He scratches the back of his neck embarrassed. “Completely failed, I was wondering when you were finally going to explain to me what those sentences meant.” A laugh escapes your throat as he looks at you tenderly, a smile on his lips.

“So, can you translate the sentences you said to me?” Your eyebrows raised curiously, while Charles' cheeks turned a pretty pink. He clears his throat loudly. "Oh uh.. I was just saying that you are incredibly beautiful, lovely, very intelligent and just... adorable." You couldn’t help but kiss the corner of his lips softly, your heart racing.

“So if you were to say that, I think I could get used to listening to you speak French.” Charles laughed softly, cupping your face, placing his sweetest kiss on your lips. "Je t'aime". These words now sounded obvious to you. “I love you too, Charles.”

[kingofpopmj]

Can’t Go On Without You By My Side

Summary: You visit your boyfriend of two years on his BAD world tour. The excitement of witnessing him perform live is quickly tainted the moment she walks in.

Pairing: Michael Jackson x Reader

Warnings: SMUT

Requested: no

*Y/N's POV*

Michael and I were finally able to plan for me to visit him on tour. I was lucky enough to get a week and a half off of work and we were determined to make the most of it. Michael had insisted on picking me up from the airport even though he was technically supposed to be at the venue. We arrived about ten minutes after the show was scheduled to begin, but thankfully, no one called us out on it.

I stood off to the side, watching Michael completely own the stage. The way he mastered his onstage persona was breathtaking. His smile was so bright. I took a moment to discreetly admire his outfit, clinging to his body tighter with each passing song.

“He’s sexy, isn’t he?” A breathy voice sounded from beside me, interrupting my silent gawking. I guess I wasn't being as discreet as I thought.

“Um—” I looked to my left, making eye contact with a very tall woman. She was beautiful. A tight black dress clung to her body so tight it almost looked painted on. I know exactly who this is.

“The correct answer is yes. He can do it all, if you know what I mean.” My hands clenched into fists with such force I could feel my rings digging into my skin. “He’s absolutely the sexiest man alive. I’m so exhausted, he kept me up all night this past week. That's not a complaint by the way. He is so worth it.”

I couldn’t put together enough words to form a complete sentence. Quite frankly, all my focus was on holding myself back. I couldn’t catch a case right now. Michael might be cheating on me and this woman is certainly a whore. That was that. I couldn’t change fact. If I went off and beat the living shit out of some groupie it would ruin the rest of my life. I couldn’t let the anger control my behavior. He betrayed me, but I refuse to let him see how much it really broke me.

“I’m so sorry, I get all misty watching him. Don’t we all?” She laughed, squeezing my shoulder, little did she know she was dangerously close to losing those boney little fingers. “My name is Tatiana, and you are?” She held out her hand, batting her eyelashes so hard I thought she’d fly away. At least I hoped she would. Maybe over a large body of water, perhaps shark infested waters.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” She let out an exaggerated gasp, slapping her palm against her mouth.

“You’re the girlfriend! Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” She quickly ran off leaving me standing there alone with this feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t describe.

I glanced around the immediate area, seeing no one else near me felt worse somehow. I don't know many people here other than Michael. I became distracted as he sang Rock With You, little did he know he was moments away from getting rocked. Y/N, no, stop. I release the tension in my hands, shaking it off, trying to let go of the violent thoughts swirling in my mind. Besides how therapeutic it was right now, it wasn’t productive. I need some air, a drink, a hitman? No. Air, I need air.

The clicks of my heels echoed through the halls as I headed towards an unknown destination. I'm probably lost, but that’s a problem for future Y/N.

*Michael's POV*

As Rock With You came to an end, I noticed Y/N disappear behind the curtain. Exactly, two songs have gone by since then and still no sign of her. During the brief outfit change after Thriller, before intermission, I notice Greg, my music director mouthing something to me.

"What?" I mouthed back, scratching my forehead. He's terrible at this.

"Your girl." Okay, I got that. I nodded, shrugging slightly as if to say and what about her.

"Mad."

I couldn’t play charades any longer, as the lights dimmed and the band took over the stage I snuck behind the large equipment to get closer to him.

"What happened?"

"I saw Tatiana talking to her. She did not look too happy after that brother."

I nodded slowly, processing his words before walking off. I should be taking advantage of my break, but I couldn’t relax not knowing where my girlfriend was.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. What are you doing all the way back here?”

"Nothing I just needed some air." She said lowly, avoiding my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I moved towards her, cupping her face in my hands. The look in her eyes answering my question, but I wanted to hear it from her.

"Yeah, well, no, but it can wait until after the show."

"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded in response. "Now, can you please come back with me? I perform better knowing my beautiful woman is watching me."

She accompanied me as I changed into my next outfit. She helped me slip into my coat, but my excitement was short lived, because I could sense her sadness. What is going on?

"I love you, baby." I watched closely as she struggled with her response, she began biting on her bottom lip, her eyes growing glossy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Her voice cracked and she quickly turned away from me.

"I know you Y/N. You're hurting and I'd like to know what's going on so I can help."

"S—She—" Y/N broke down right, her body was shivering as she tried to compose herself. I felt less than helpless.

"Who?" I tried comforting her, but she brushed me off, moving away from me all together.

A quick knock on the door, signaling that intermission was coming to a close and I needed to get back out there.

"I'll let them know I need more time. I'll be right back."

"No!"

"You're crying. Y/N, baby, I'm not leaving you."

"I'm alright. Please, can we just talk about this later?"

I didn't want to agree, but she wasn't asking, she was practically begging. I intertwined our fingers, keeping her close as I weaved my way through the backstage area.

"Please, stand here and watch the rest of the show. It would mean the world to me." I smiled at her and kissed her temple as I hugged her.

"I'll be right here." She reaffirmed my confidence. Then, she grabbed my collar, pulling me into her lips. Her tongue was pure magic. Normally, I'd be embarrassed about public affection, but with the way I'm feeling, I'd love to feel every inch of her right here, right now. I didn't care who was watching.

She pulled away and I desperately chased her lips as she giggled at my neediness.

"You have to go."

"There is no way I'm leaving your side after that."

"You don't have a choice."

"I will be back. Very, very soon."

*Y/N's POV*

I watched the second half of Michael's concert the way I should've watched the first half. I enjoyed myself dancing and singing along to my man's voice. What Tatiana said hurt me, but I felt so foolish when I thought logically again. Michael isn't that type of person. I didn't need to talk to him about this, because once the anger and hurt wore off I was able to come to a conclusion on my own. She's lying. She has to be.

"You're still here?" This damn witch. "I'd be halfway home by now if I found out my boyfriend stepped out on me."

There was so much I wanted to say, but I chose to let her words go in one ear and out the other. The last thing I want to do is let her know she ever got to me.

"Well, that's my cue. Enjoy the show." She winked, walking pass me and flipping her hair.

I was forced to watch as Tatiana strutted across the stage with my boyfriend chasing after her. This was one of my favorite songs and now I couldn’t even enjoy it. I felt my blood begin to boil as she shamelessly flirted with him in front of the crowd of thousands.

She was getting closer and closer to him. She was doing this on purpose and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Why is this song so long all of the sudden?

"What the hell is she doing?" I heard Frank DiLeo grumble from behind me. I jumped a bit at his tone, but tried to play it off.

"Everything okay?" I asked softy.

"Hey darling, yeah she was supposed— what the hell! Get her off the damn stage! Now!"

I turned my attention back to the stage and I wished more than anything I wouldn’t have done that. I tried to blink as if that would change the view, but it didn’t.

I was stuck in that horrible moment as the worst thing I could imagine was confirmed. I had a front row seat to my own humiliation and I had no idea how to escape.

Before I knew it, she was walking towards me. "So happy you could be here to see what a real power couple looks like." She stopped in front of me, crossing her arms. "Sorry honey, he's moved on to bigger and better things."

I felt my cheeks heat up as I became uncomfortably aware of how many eyes were on us.

"Tatiana, that's enough. Get away from her." Frank shouted, shooing her away like a toddler.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

We stood in silence as Man in the Mirror blasted through the speakers. It wasn't until Michael's long passionate goodbye to his fans, wrapping up the concert that Frank slung his arm around my shoulder.

"Darling, you know she's full of it right?"

"I'm not sure."

"Michael and I have to take care of some business. I won't keep him too long and I'll send him your way after."

I knew that was his way of telling me it was private business that I couldn’t be around for. I hugged him before heading off, I wasn't really sure where I was going, but walking felt better than sitting with my thoughts.

"Baby! I'm so sorry. Frank told me what happened after—"

“I need to get out of here before I do something I regret.” Michael reached out, taking a firm hold of my hand, he pulled me down a short hallway and into his dressing room.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He finally spoke, shutting the door behind him.

“You’re sorry I had to see it?”

“Yes.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Y/N—”

“Does that mean you do it often?”

“No, that’s not—”

“You go around kissing other people when I’m not around?”

“Y/N, I’ve never—”

“I know they’re everywhere, throwing themselves at you, but I never thought you let them get to you.”

“Stop!”

“What!”

“I’ve never cheated on you!” He shouted in a tone I had never heard before, the look of pain present in his eyes. Shit.

“That’s not what people are saying.” I muttered, suddenly I felt so guilty.

“People? What people?”

“Who do you think! She said you two—”

“That’s a lie! I only see her during performances. That’s it. Y/N, I would never do that to you.”

“How am I supposed to believe you after that? She kissed you and you let her.”

“No, no, no! I didn’t let her! I wasn’t even paying attention to her. When I’m on stage, I’m there to perform. Why would I spend weeks planning for your visit just to betray you?”

“She was so awful to me, the things she said, then, she went out there and—”

“Got herself fired.”

“Michael, I’m pissed, but I’ll get over it. I don’t want this to affect business. You don’t have to fire her.”

“I already did.”

“Michael—”

“I only want to work with people who respect me and my loved ones. She won’t be missed. I don’t care to have people around me that I can’t trust.”

“I’m sorry I yelled. I’m so sorry I accused you of—” Michael shut me up, gripping my hips, pressing my body against his and kissing me sloppily. His hand claiming a possessive hold of the back of my neck, deepening his touch.

"I love you." he spoke into my mouth, his hot breath sent shivers down my spine. I felt myself tremble as his fingers explored my inner thigh, pushing up my skirt to give himself more access.

"I love you." I said, slipping my fingers around his belt buckle. He smiled knowingly, pushing me back, my ass collided with the counter and I felt myself crumble at his roughness. The cold countertop causing me to let out a moan. He pulled away for a moment, reaching behind me and clearing off the counter in one swift movement. "Such a gentleman." I purred in his ear as he picked me up.

"Only for you." A smirk on his face as the sound of nylon tearing filled my ears. "I love how sexy these look on you. I'll have to replace them." His long fingers slipping pass the freshly shredded fabric of my panties and teasing me one finger at a time. He watched as my head leaned back onto the mirrored wall, he chuckled as I struggled to find something to grab onto.

"Michael!" I was fighting to breath feeling him knuckle deep inside of me, hitting the right spot. "Fuck! Deeper!" I begged for more. Contrary to my needy cries, he pulled back, leaving me feeling empty as he unbuckled his belt, letting his pants fall to the ground. I took this opportunity to tear his shirt off, throwing it across the room.

Michael pushed my legs apart, admiring how much I yearned for him, he slowly pulled me towards him with a strong grip on my legs. My bare ass slide across the counter painfully slow until I finally felt his hard tip press against my entrance.

"Always so wet and ready for me." He slammed into me, giving me no time to adjust which threw me further over the edge.

"Harder!" I yelled as he pounded into me with such intensity I swear I could feel him rearranging my guts.

"Baby, I want to cum inside of you." His voice smooth, making me even more wet.

"Please!" The walls were shaking as we continued to devour one another.

"You're fucking perfect." He whispered against the bare skin of my chest, I felt him everywhere. My eyes rolled back as his dick massaged all the right places.

Suddenly, the door swung open violently, causing me to panic and try to cover my exposed chest, but Michael stopped me. He grabbed my wrists trapping them behind my back in on of his hands as he increased his speed again. My moans escaped my throat against my will as tears of pleasure rolled down my cheeks. At this point, my entire body was shaking, Michael's tongue rolling against mine elongating my high further.

"What the fuck are you doing!" A voice shouted, causing my head to snap in the direction of its origin. Tatiana.

"You feel so good wrapped around my dick." He declared as he sucked on my neck. It was impossible to concentrate on anything else but his lips. "I'll never get tired of fucking this perfect pussy." Michael didn’t stop. He spoke clearly and confidently as he fucked me with purpose.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Tatiana yelled.

"Y/N!" Michael whimpered, his seed spreading within me, causing my legs to tingle. He gazed deep into my eyes, beads of sweat trailing down his face. "I fucking love you." His hand gently curled around the side of my neck, pulling me back into his sweet mouth.

"What the fuck!" Another shout from the demon herself. I paid it no mind. Looking back at Michael, his long dick still twitching inside of me.

"I love you baby." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, leaning into his neck to leave my mark. Tatiana stood there staring at us in shock, so naturally I challenged her stare. I waited to see if Michael would break focus, but he didn’t.

“We are busy in here. Close the door on your way out.” Michael said sternly between breaths, not even sparing her a glance.

The door slammed shut seconds later and it was only then that I took the time to look around the dimly lit room. Make-up and personal belongings littered the floor. Various unfamiliar items surrounded us, leading me to believe that I was made apart of one very well thought out, very devious plan and it turned me on.

"Michael?"

"Yes, my love?"

“This isn’t your dressing room, is it?”

“Nope.” He smiled triumphantly, planting tender kisses all over my face.

“You’re so sneaky.”

“You’re my girl. That’s never changing.”

“You quite literally marked your territory.” I giggled as he caressed my collarbone, watching as goosebumps formed.

“Oh, Y/N, baby, I’m just getting started. We’re gonna be here all night.”

“Let’s see what you got rockstar.”

“Baby, don’t make me carry you out on that stage and give those lovely people an encore they’ll never forget.”

“A girl can dream can’t she?”

I winked teasingly as I positioned myself onto my knees, looking up at the man I love, confident I was about to give him the best head of his life.

[ctheathy]

Hello, I hope you have a nice day! , I would like to request a headcanons of yandere nine x reader being kidnapped by doctor eggman

Yandere Nine w/ Darling who got kidnapped by Robotnik

Nine x Reader

Yandere Headcanons

Short Concept

Author's note: You, my dear reader, are all out for the drama and I'm here for it~!

Nine/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Possessiveness • Nine is so traumatized omfg- • Eventual PTSD • Age regression • Overprotective behaviour • Poor mental state • Paranoia • Emotional dependency • Trust Issues • Insomnia • Violence

Pfft. If Nine wasn't already considered severely unhinged before, he most certainly will be right now. Oh how much terror the fox would feel in the pits of his stomach, the horror in his eyes, the helplessness in his heart. He most certainly would have never allowed this to even remotely come forward if he were the one to be in your presence. But... he wasn't. The whole team would have felt this immense sense of hesitance and dread to even tell him about it, having noticed his attachment and emotional bond towards you... and when the words slip from Sonic's mouth, not ready to test the nine-tailed foxes’ impatience, he cracks. And not just any regular burst of anger, he has a complete mental breakdown.

Nine will be nothing less than a ball of angst and fright at this point, something which he desperately tried to cover up with an infuriated facade, despite his evident worries from your abduction. But none of that would matter in the end, because he'd behave completely berserk one way or another. He doesn't dare rest or waste time for that matter until he can hold you in his arms again. Likely as soon as they reach The Chaos Council to try and bring you back... Nine would not hold himself back, still taken over by his violent meltdown. Instead of trying to avoid the Council's eyes and enemies that are in the way, maintaining a low profile as he'd say, he releases all of that pent up malice.

Though he'd leave many of the his robotic opponents onto the grounds ...torn to scraps by the fierce abilities of his mechanical tails, Nine would be surprisingly merciful to any living mobian for the sake of getting answers on where you're being held hostage. Because remember; although venting out some of his frustrations during the fight was equal to his hostility towards those who just so happened to be in his way, this mission is not and never will be about assassinating every enemy he comes across for the sake of just hurting them. It's all just to release you from The Chaos Council's grasp, take you back to his workshop where you rightfully belong ...bring you back to him. An objective and promise he will never allow himself to forget ever again after seeing your frightened face and body.

Even after he does get you back to the team, and he will no matter the costs or sacrifices he has to offer. But although you're back home, safe.... His paranoia will continue to linger and remain at its highest. Though the wounds you obtained through your abduction will eventually heal, his trauma of your kidnapping won't for a very long time. The side affects seemingly starts off small through your perspective, and you probably wouldn't even know how much it deep down affected him. Especially as the amber fox just seems to want to stick closeby you, seeking for comforting reassurance and some guidance to get himself back on the right track, which you more than understand and accept with open arms.

But what if I told you that he just got much, ...much more insane and delusional than you may think after you got taken away like that. It was like a newborn kitten being taken away from its mother right after birth, one whom he'd desperately cry out to and crawl after. To Nine, it wasn't just the idea of losing that happiness of having somebody to care about, but this also re-activated his defense mechanism to his past trauma.

Kill or be killed.

Nine's whole mentality practically returns to that of his younger self, almost similar to an age regression... You'd probably also notice the changes in demeanor, how he's practically almost behaving like a juvenile again. Decisions are made more so out of instinct rather than rational, logical thoughts. Which, to you, is something completely foreign and out of character for Nine.

His overprotective impulses would kick in at full force and he'd be quicker to lash out, along with his pessimistic mentality and stress being multiplied in the process, which is something his already poor mental state is absolutely not emotionally capable of handling. Even with you just not being in his eyesight can leave Nine with severe anxiety. His emotions are quicker to flow over, resulting in either anger outbursts or crying... And he practically treats you as if you were actively dying from a disease, constantly thinking of and mentioning the “what ifs”.

There would be many restless nights where he wakes up in the middle of the night, teary-eyed after a dream vision or isn't even capable of drifting off into a slumber at all. The simple thought of you ending up hurt and scarred while he wasn't there to protect you keeps his nerves excessive and senses on constant high alert. Even just the consideration in itself can leave him in a condition of hysteria for the next half hour, unable to calm himself down. These sudden exchanges of panic making you realise just how inconsistent it is, as Nine was usually known as collected, self-assured... in control of the situation. Something you'd consider the other side of the coin of how he was operating at this very moment. A complete and sudden reverse swap in his very identity.

Making you pray... that this was a crutch you could hopefully help him grow out of

[iznyangwoni]

STRINGS OF FATE, chapter four

You’ve been to parties. Lots of parties. Well, formal ones for the most part. Its not like you haven’t been to other parties, you do remember going to a couple back in high school, but then again, it was high school and you were too much of a good girl back then to drink underage or anything else.

But this is completely different. The music is so loud its making your head hurt, everyone seems so drunk already and the smell of sweat and smoke is getting in your throat, if thats even possible.

There’s one good thing here though. Heeseung is there, looking at you with a little smirk on his face as he tells you to come closer to him with his hands. You smile at him, and say bye to Minjeong and Minju, not even waiting for them to answer before you walk towards him.

“hey.” Oh. He’s hot, he’s very very hot, and you’re very very weak. He offers you his drink, you have no clue what’s in it, but after all you already pregamed this a bit, and you certainly dont want to look like a loser in front of him, right? “You look pretty.”

You smile at that, your ears already getting red as you drink whatever he gave you. You do a twirl in your little white dress and he looks very much amused by that. “Well, thank you. This party is uh.. peculiar.” “Never been to a prince party before?” You just shake your head to say no, nothing to hide here, its obvious that you and Heeseung have two different interests when it comes to go out.

“Are your friends here too?” “Jimin and Chaewon are. Jungwon doesnt really like parties.” Well, that’s something you and Jungwon have in common. If it weren’t for Heeseung inviting you, you would’ve probably stayed home reading or swimming in the lake, but your here and as alluring the thought of getting inside the water is, you can’t really just run away.

Heeseung and you chat for a little bit longer, you already know that you guys dont really have much in common, you realized during those walks towards your classes when you ‘accidentally’ bumped onto him every morning, but its nothing that a couple of drinks cant help with. So you do that, its starts with the drink he gave you, then another one, and another one until you lose count and his blabbering about parties and castles and stuff is nothing but a distant sound.

You find yourself dancing with him, his hands on your hips, yours behind his neck. He’s still whispering things to you but you’re way too distracted to hear him. You wonder about a lot of things, where your friends are, if they’re having fun, you even wonder what Jungwon would do alone in his room when none of his friends were available, you really think you should be his friend. And god, you want to swim, so damn bad.

Heeseung’s hand under your chin wakes you up, you look at him in the eyes, you know he’s hot for a fact, but you can barely make his face out. “You look cute. Can i kiss you?” That takes you by surprise, kiss you? Isnt that going a bit too far? But then again, you’re drunk, and if a hot guy wants to kiss you why shouldn’t you agree.

You nod and he doesn’t think twice before going in. You’ve kissed only a couple of guys in your life, and with this third one coming in, you could make a list from bad to worst. It doesn’t feel natural, nor does it feel as magical as people like to describe it here. It just feels wet and confusing. You pull out after a minute, not really wanting to continue. “Should we go find a room?”

Oh. Of course thats what he wanted. You should’ve been smarter about this, you’re way too drunk to reject that offer in a normal way. “Uh.. I.. I don’t think..” Your head hurts by now, you can only think about going for a swim, you want to touch the water and see the lake, you dont really want to keep this up. But your words come before your thoughts. “Sure, let me go to the bathroom first.”

He smiles at you and lets you go, but what he doesnt know is that you’re far from searching for a bathroom, you just need to go to the lake right now, so that’s where you’re headed.

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[ivfrankenstein]

DEATH CHERISHES YOU | nuada silverlance x fem!reader;

the bloodstains on the stairs that had brought him here could be compared to breadcrumbs. step by step he was moving away from the original destination, consciously choosing to approach a new one. this one may not have been such an urgent matter for the prince, but another opportunity might not present itself for a long time to come.

farther on, the traces went away from the stairs and into the depths of the hall, from where a familiar dripping sound reached his ears. even at a distance it was effortless for nuada to hear all the breaths in and out of the person in there, so anyway, by the time his presence was noticed and all sounds suddenly stopped, it was definitely too late.

“you are easy to find, even when you're hiding.” he spoke first and purposely omitted the greeting, “shouldn't someone be watching you?”

“do they have to?” the voice from the darkness answered him with a question, “all my caretakers are busy at the moment. why don't you come visit me later?”

he stepped unobstructed around one of the columns on his right side and could now see the one talking to him from the back. it would be a pretty vulnerable position for another even without a bleeding wound on her arm. but he had more than once been able to see that she was not much bothered by this dangerous proximity. y/n was judged to be reckless and at times just a less skilled member of the team, which, nuada could tell, was hardly the truth.

“with seven nannies the child still loses an eye. are you familiar with that saying?”

“i am.”

it was very polite of her to answer him first, and only then to immediately clamp the end of the cloth with her teeth to tear it in two. the injury was deep enough that blood trickled from her hand to the floor, but y/n handled it with a dexterity that a less skilled member of the team could only envy.

“it's all a total waste of your blood.” he remarked, watching the small puddle below where she was sitting. there was all sorts of junk scattered everywhere. and the smell… it alone could suffocate a human victim.

“that troll has eaten over a dozen teenagers, in case you're wondering.” she forced herself to turn around and look at the expression on his face only to see nothing but a slightly raised eyebrow.

“one more ogre, one less.” he also gave her a nonchalant shrug, “there's not enough of you to catch them all anyway.”

“i’m not surprised you're more than okay with that information.” she said to his face before turning away again, continued to bandaging her arm and willfully badly playing the part where she wasn't dying to know what he was up to, “it just proves that an ogre as the only reason would hardly have caught your attention. so in that case, what brought the prince here?”

“the same as you.” it didn't cost him anything to tell her the truth, knowing there was probably nothing she could do about it, “it took me a lot of time and resources to find anything about this place myself.” except that what she wanted to get from him was different from what he'd come to share, “you did a great job, honestly. but it's for sure not the one that impresses me the most.”

it lasted less than a couple seconds, the way she stopped moving altogether, as if one single hint from him had paralyzed her to the bone. it was clear that the slightest interest shown in her ability would be met with the utmost wariness, which proved she was many things, but certainly not reckless.

“do me a favour, given my situation, and instead tell me if i should start worrying or not? it'll take me a while to remember where i left the gun.”

“oh, a gun, how uncivilised,” he said in a bored tone, “you have more delicate weapons with you. but i doubt you'll resort to any of them.”

“and why is that?” she asked, trying to stay focused, “i kept you from dying once because it was fair to your people. but for the second time, i hope your sister will forgive me for my non-interference.” her last words came out floating in a trembling voice. she was for now done with the bandage and turned to his side, with her hand clasped to her chest.

she seemed kind of particularly susceptible right now, and his years of being a corruptor suggested this might be a good moment to get close to her. but nuada's choice was to stay where he stood. from the beginning he was carrying this belief that y/n would want to know more without him seducing her into it. that's why he came. so he could see it for himself.

“by letting me live, you risked the fate of mankind by putting the interests of our race first. it's only fair for me not to fight you.”

“what a noble act. i know a few people for whom to take that chance would be enough to keep them happy for the rest of their lives.”

it might have seemed like an unnecessarily rude response, but it was clear to both of them that she was simply using the language of facts.

“and i will put my sister's name on that list with my own hand.” he confirmed it, “but as we've seen, that's not an acceptable outcome for you.” he paused to allow her to dispute it, but y/n only raised an eyebrow at him skeptically, willing to hear his explanation, “i'm going to guess that you've thought about the possible consequences of this decision of yours so often that you're now equally afraid of it and eager to discover it. you,” he pointed at her with an open palm, “already have so much of me in your thoughts that it's easier to let me go just to finally see.”

for a few seconds they looked silently into each other's eyes, almost like examining that gaze for recognition.

“if so,” then, as nuada assumed she would, y/n found an answer way too quick for someone for whom what she'd heard would be new, “i think it won't sound too presumptuous that to come to those conclusions you must have thought a lot of me yourself.”

the next thing the prince heard was his own laughter. how she succeeded in making a fool of him so easily by saying it caused him to laugh about it absolutely sincerely. it was so human, he couldn't even be prepared for it.

“that was a dirty trick.” she admitted before he could, “in my defense, it's getting hard to keep my attention, so..” she reached for the walkie-talkie fixed to her belt, but before she pressed it, she looked at the prince once more, “if you'll excuse me.”

“please.” nuada only said.

“death jr. to red.” y/n switched, bringing the radio to her lips, “death jr. to red. we have a royal guest in the neighborhood. over.”

he smirked and nodded in understanding, “as a good team member should.”

y/n said nothing more and just watched him escaping casually into the darkness again. from there he added, “i hope by the next time when we get a chance to finish our conversation, you don't have so much blood on you, my dear. although i must say that red suits you well.”

—gif: @amatesura 📿 also, english not my first language. so, i beg you pardon.

[furinana]

The undertones behind Walter and Jonathan's relationship that you might not know about

I'll be calling attention to traits present in their dynamic that are unknown to most players in the West due to incomplete localization.

Now... where do we begin? Oh, right. In the part after you're done with Naraku and get to spend the holiday with the other two.

This scene is presented in almost the same way in both languages but Jonathan's reaction seems emphasized on a specific word in the Japanese script.

"T...t-t... that's crude, Walter. I would never... such a thing like that to women..."

In either case, if this ended at Jonathan's response, it would be mostly nothing worth commenting on. Jonathan is the Law representative raised by a family that worked in the Monastery so naturally he's gonna behave in a more chaste way, correct?

But then you have Walter's posture becoming uncomfortable followed by immediately changing subjects as if he's already in the know of what Jonathan was anxious about compared to the player (thus Flynn) being rather out of loop about what was going on.

The thing is... the meaning was actually already available for the players, even prior to SMTIV's release! That is, if you accessed the official website and clicked on the interviews with the Japanese voice actors (which included in-character voice clips). All of the translations presented in this post were done by takujilvr

"I'll only tell you this because it's you, all right? Only because it's you! I'm afraid I can't bring myself to like women very much. Being raised in a household with two elder sisters and one younger made me lose any illusions about them I might've had. You're a man, so I feel much more at ease with you."

Certainly, he doesn't seem to specifically refer to anyone in this clip. It could be Flynn or probably anyone else as long as they're a male.

But there are other voice clips aside this one that point towards a more definitive interpretation.

"Enough of that "Ooh, you'll catch cold!" drivel, Jonathan, you sound like a naggy old wife. I can't abide being constricted, this chest must stay bared!"

"S-Stop pulling my hair, Walter! It won't straighten out, I got it from my mother!"

They don't have voice clips directly acknowledging anyone else, leading to the impression that Walter and Jonathan were being more marketed as a duo over their dynamic with the main character.

But the shocking reveal comes with this one:

"I'll only say this if you promise not to tell anyone! Cats, I just love 'em. When I see one outside, I can't help but crouch down and give it some pets! Wait, no. I mean, listen, I can't stand fish. And they can take it off my hands, can't they? That's why I love cats. Right."

A player that reached the part where the party gets hit by Yaso Magatsuhi's scent in Roppongi will thus connect the dots:

How one interprets the twist of this scene might change entirely with the voice clip in mind. It opens the possibility that, differently from many players' assumptions, Jonathan was acting like a feline not because he's secretly a cat lover. But, most likely, due to WALTER liking them. And he would have no way of knowing that unless Walter told him off-screen.

To summarize...

Jonathan is unable to feel attraction for girls and feels more comfortable with guys which would be inevitably an obstacle for his future considering his conservative background

Walter has phobia of fish despite what his family does for trade and has a soft spot for cats specifically because they eat them for him which would be defined as a 'weakness' to his self-reliant image

1 and 2 are each most's intimate secret and they revealed them for each other

"But how much does this add to the main plot?" Even when pushing aside subtleties from this extra material, attentive Megaten veterans would notice that the Law & Chaos representatives from SMTIV have an explicitly close bond compared to most characters of opposing sides in other titles of the mainline series.

[Jonathan was the most visibly affected by their breakup]

This extra material essentially adds more to the range of interpretation regarding their intimacy while also making them more relatable beyond their surface of Law & Chaos pieces.

On this note, moments where they "crack" their own alignments also happen briefly in-game.

They were two boys of the same age that became instant close friends however became unable to conciliate the differences emphasized by their caste system and reach the understanding of what would be the best for everyone.

All of this leads to the player's realization that Jonathan and Walter ultimately didn't perfectly antagonize each other as humans but were "pushed" towards their extreme roles by ulterior forces that would subsequently be further exposed in the sequel.

[bookmaker-untaken]

you're ugly, you're disgusting - give me 200 horses

Suo Hayato x Reader // Mythology AU

Summary: To marry you, a suitor must beat you in hand-to-hand combat. Or do whatever the fuck Suo did instead.

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, OOC!Suo, Probably (Look, I Tried), Misogyny

Word Count: 1, 953

i. 

Contrary to popular belief whispered throughout the steppe, you do not hate men.

But, by god, are they a stupid bunch.

There is this story your Father liked to tell after a few drinks, of you, as a toddler, gripping a snake by the throat and happily slamming him into the ground, repeatedly.

So why are men always surprised when they end up in the same spot?

Your most recent challenger groans from the ground, dust settling around him. 

"Three...two...one!"

The fight master holds up your hand once more and you grin. 

Behind you, there is familiar laughter and clapping, your Father waving you back to the cushioned seat near him. 

"That's my daughter! A force to be reckoned with!" 

He claps a hand on your back and shakes you a little and you smirk.

The man with the eyepatch and expensive clothes lowers his cup of honey wine, a tranquil smile adoring his features. "Your fighting technique is quite impressive."

You look over at him, up then down. His robes make it hard to tell what kind of stature he has, hard to tell what kind of fighter he might be. 

"Most men still challenge me afterwards. I hardly receive compliments."

"Fight you?" He laughs, and the small jewel attached to the eyepatch quivers. "I would most certainly lose."

You give him a look out of the side of your face. Somehow, you know he's bluffing. He might put up a good fight at the very least, and that in itself would be a miracle. 

"You are wise, Suo! My daughter is well versed in combat!" 

You watch this Suo for his reaction. He shows you nothing, taking another sip of wine.

"You see, my daughter has one rule for suitors! They must beat her in hand-to-hand combat!"

"Oh?" He says, sounding genuinely interested. This, too, is rare.  "And what happens when they lose, as that man did?"

"They owe me a horse." You say, chin raised, daring him to speak ill of your methods as many often do.

"Huh." He says. "How many horses do you have?" 

"1,000." You say, smirk curving on the corner of your lips.

"Wow," He says, sounding genuinely impressed. "That is quite amazing!" 

"And a hassle! We hardly have room for them all," Your Father laughs.

 

ii.

The arrow sings through the breeze, hitting its perfect mark.

You're almost boring to watch with your accuracy and skill. 

The Merchant speaks to your Father under a richly colored tarp.

"You must forgive my daughter," You hear when you go to pick up more arrows. "She worries for me." 

"It's cute," Suo replies. 

Your face wrinkles in confusion and he laughs. 

"Don't let my daughter hear you say that," Your Father leans over, whispering conspiratorially. "She might bite your head off." 

"Right," You say loudly, another arrow piercing the bullseye. "Like that would be the optimal way of killing someone."

The smile on Suo's face remains, despite your dark joke.

iii.

The other girl scoffs and storms away, leaving your handmaiden and best friend Líu.

"What happened?"

Liú gives you a one armed shrug, putting another cloth into the basket at her hip. "Well, I told her I had my first time with my husband the other day,"

Your eyes widen. “How … how was it?”

“Somewhat underwhelming,”  Líu admits. “I think she was expecting more of a story?"                                                                                                              

You had the heard stories girls gossiped in the night. Sometimes horrifying, sometimes filthy, seldom in between.You supposed you had been wondering, even if you never asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I love my husband but ... it was just fine."

"'Just fine', huh.” You laugh, eyes crinkling. “So I suppose there really is no reason to stop throwing them into the dirt, then?”

Liú laughs. "I suppose not. But getting married wouldn't be the end of the world, either. Whichever you choose, I know it'll be true to you.”

"You have a lot of faith in me.” You say, puffing your chest.

“Of course!” 

iv.

Another day, another victory. 

The man hits the dust and you're already turning around to walk away, not seeing him scramble to grab a saucer from a plate and fling it at you.

But you do see the hand cast out before you, blocking your vision.

"Come now," Says Suo, smile taking an odd sort of edge. "There's no need to be a sore loser!" 

"You have good reflexes, Merchant," You say.

"Thank you!" Suo drops the saucer into your outstretched hand. 

"Though, you absolutely stole my thunder." 

"Sorry," He says, scratching his cheek. "My hand moved on my own."

"You're going to have to make it up to me," You say, still smirking. "Tomorrow. Archery grounds." 

v.

Suo is just as much of a challenge as you had predicted. 

You often tie. 

You await his return to visit your Father and give him a new challenge each time.

He's fantastic with a polearm, but often lets go of the arrow too early.

Your horses adore him, even the most stubborn old girls allowing him to feed them carrots. 

He tells you stories of his travels, and in exchange you regale him with your exploits.

vi.

"Your next challenger..." Your Mother says. "He's a good man."

"They often are?" You say with a quirk of the brow. You feel the trap closing in on you, even if you do not know what it is for. 

She sighs, seeing that such a method would not work on you. "I want you to throw the match."

"What?!"

You look to your Father, who says nothing. 

Your Mother continues. "He comes from a good family and - "

"What of our honor!" 

"This is honorable!"

You look again to your Father, who simply shrugs. "It is your decision in the end. I trust our judgment." 

You stand in front of the man considering the conversation from earlier.

“100 Horses.” He is saying. “I bet I could beat you.”

“The men before you said the same.”

He spits. “The men before me were nothing.”

You do not throw the match. 

vii.

On a later visit, you and Suo are returning from a hunt, when you tell that story.

You wait for his reply.

"Hm. Good."

You're surprised. 

"Hmm?”

"I just thought you would have taken more of a ... business minded approach?" 

"I think it was merciful," He said. "Any fighter worth their salt would have been able to tell if you threw a fight."

"Have you ever thrown a fight?" You ask. "Is that how you lost your eye?"

"Nothing nearly as interesting as that," He says smoothly. 

"Aww," You smirk.

"Is there an interesting reason you started fighting your suitors?"

"Because I have to," You say automatically, then seal your lips. It dawns on you that nobody has asked you that question before. "Well..."

You look up into the sky as you think. He doesn't need an answer, you know. And he doesn't deserve an explanation. But you've already started thinking. On one hand, it's instinctual - you cannot help but not go down easily. 

"My grandmother ... was taken from her home by a foreign prince, my grandfather. And on her deathbed, she longed for it."

Suo is silent, waiting. He watches you intently. 

"She made me promise as a little girl for that never to be my fate. To never let any man possess me. "

Suo looks at you for a long time. "I cannot claim to completely understand, but I do empathize." 

You make a sound in response.

“Though. It is a lot of weight to put on a child.” 

viii.

"So," Liú says. "Is there something going on with you and that Merchant?" 

You stop cleaning your sword for a second to look up at her, "You mean something other than friendly competition?"

"There are rumors,"

"You know how I feel about rumors." 

"I do!” She say, plopping down next to you. “Which is why I came to you instead,"

"Suo is great competition. More than the likes I've ever seen before."

"And that's it?" 

You pause. "Should there be more?"

"No," Liu says with a loose shrug. "There doesn't have to be." 

ix.

It's a sharp second, like a pinprick - attacks you suddenly like a bird of prey..

The sunlight hits Suo's hair just right and it's like it glows. 

A terror grips you by the back of the neck. 

You shove the feeling away and decide to deal with it another time. 

x.

And then the rumors start. 

The rumors that the reason your so object to marriage is that you are in a secret relationship with your Father.

You balk. It's ridiculous! Why would anybody believe such a thing! 

Your surprised when your Father calls you to his tent, full of onlookers.

"You must get married." 

You laugh. "You're going to let some silly rumor decide for you!? You might as well let it run your court as well!"

"No," He says. "I've let this charade go on for far too long. It's not fit for a young woman to remain unmarried like this."

"You're joking."

His face is unmoving. You realize he is not relenting. 

"Father. Father! You can't just offer my hand to some stranger! ... Please!"

He closes his eyes. "One year. You have one year to choose."

xi.

When Suo returns, he cannot find you. 

"She rides every day," Your Father tells him. "From dawn till dusk." 

When you return, you give him a smirk that doesn't meet your eyes. 

"What happened?"

You start to tell him, the emotions swimming in your eyes, but instead say, "Ride with me."

The moon illuminates your shadows.

You approach a shimmering lake, looking at its surface. "My father wishes for me to get married."

"Ah." 

"I -" You are crying. The tears that squeeze out of your eyes are of desperation. "I know of none who would wish to marry me of their own accord, so I am to be promised to a stranger."

Suo is silent.

"I have fought my whole life for my freedom and now I will be remembered for my failure!"

"You didn't fail." 

You look at him, crystalline tears still falling.

"You never lost." 

"But I did!" You say. "Because I fell for somebody!"

"Falling in love is not losing," He says. "And knowing you, knowing the decisions you make - the person you fell for would probably never have you give up on yourself. If they do, it isn't love."

"You don't understand!” You snap, fists forming at your side.”I do not know if I'll ever be able to love them like anyone else! I respect them! But what if it is not love? What if it is all I am capable of? You do not wish a life with me!"

"That is not for you to decide," Suo says, then after a moment, “Fight me.”

“What?”

“A King once told me that fighting is a conversation of one’s souls. You have something to tell me, don’t you? Fight me.”

You begin to walk from behind your horse. “You have to be serious.”

He nods. “I will.”

“Even if you think you can’t win.”

He begins to stand in a fighting position. “I’ll try.” 

You shift into your fighting position. "Then come!" 

The two of you lunge at each other. He’s faster than you are, and reflects most of your attacks, but when you finally manage to grapple him he hits the ground hard. The two of you dance along the moonlit shore to a rhythm nobody else will ever hear.

The two of you fall to the ground at the same time, panting and sweating. 

You laugh.

[twosdays-trash]

I have beef with the FIA and the lack of safety they promote within F1.

While Formula 1 is considered the safest its been ever with its current safety measures put in place for drivers, i feel its also one of the most toxic environments for drivers at the same time

Motorsports are a feeding ground for people who are willing to do whatever they can to race and win, f1 isnt the exclusive with this "i will race regardless" mentality (looking at you motoGP), and they certainly wont be the last. But i feel that due to the large amount of fans and media that comes with f1 it is very important to be more open and push for driver safety in both physical and mental aspects.

----

I mostly wanna focus on three different things in this: the medical/safety procedures in the case of an accident, the physical health of the drivers, and mental health of the drivers.

This is not an attack on the medical/safety staff that are taking care of the drivers, they are doing wonders and are amazing. I'm criticizing the FIA for the procedures that should be updated or changed in order to ensure greater safety on and off the track.

----

1 - the medical/safety procedures in the case of an accident

In the case of an accident in f1 i have noticed that it takes medical and safety Marshalls a long time to get to the scene of the accident due to the location of the safety cars. With the medical cars being exclusively located in the pitlane it takes the cars around 5 minutes, give or take, depending on length of track, location of the crash, and if its the 1st lap, to get to the accident.

In these high speed situations, especially in f1 where they dont have spotters, its incredibly dangerous to let drivers continue to drive full speed for long after a crash. Due to these long periods of time between when a flag is waved and when medical personnel can get to the scene of an accident it is also incredibly dangerous. In many situations that amount of time can greatly increase the chance of injury and heighten the probability of injuries becoming worse like physical wounds, bad concussions, and other cars hitting the already crashed out driver(s).

At one of the practice sessions durring the Indy500 in 2015 James Hinchcliffe crashed into the barrier and was pierced by the car through his leg to his abdomen and was losing a lot of blood. Due to the ability of the safety team to get there in 30 seconds, cut him out, and get him to the hospital so quickly absolutely saved his life.

Compared to an accident that occurs on the opening lap, with the safety car on track, and Marshalls around the track, it still took 2 (two) minutes for anyone to get to max after his massive crash at Silverstone 2021. That is far too long, especially with the caliber and how much speed and G force he encountered during the crash it should have been far more urgent.

Now you might say, "oh but thats only one example in indycar!" Well, Typically the time between the safety car coming to a halt in the crash and the marshals getting to the car it takes between 15-30 seconds regardless on whether its a race or practice/qualifying. 15 TO 30 SECONDS. This speed of arrival also happens regardless of the severity of a crash, seeing as a crash is a crash and is handled as such. This video details how many marshalls are in each car, what they do, and also shows how quickly they arrive at the scene of a crash.

When comparing crashes in terms similarity of the accident in f1 and indy i typically turn to the Fernando Alonso's and Simon Pagenaud's crashes where they flipped over. I find that for as similar as they are the difference in immediate medical attention is wildly different.

Both crashes are incredibly similar seeing as they both hit gravel and did multiple barrel roles the aid afterwards was very different. While Pagenaud needed assistance to be released from his car and Alonso, they both landed against the wall along with landing in similar spots on the track despite the two different locations (and years [Australia 2016 VS Mid Ohio 2023]). Yet it took medical staff half the time to reach Pagenaud compared to Alonso.

When watching these clips I've also noticed the amount of time/what flags are waved in the occurrence of these accidents. With Pagenaud it was an immediate red flag within seconds, where as Alonso was a had a yellow flag that was announced ~40 seconds after and at the same time the marshalls got to him.

------

2 - physical health of the Drivers

both sports have incredible care of their drivers and make sure to care for their drivers in the case of an accident, i feel that the mentality and enforcement of post-crash or post-injury care is far too lax in F1.

In f1 i find that the mentality is that of a toxic marriage. Sort of.

They take the "in sickness and in health" very seriously and will drive regardless of the state of their own body. And while its a good mentality to be willing to do as much as you possibly can, there is a limit to what they can and should be doing.

Starting with the OGs, Niki Lauda racing with literal fresh burn wounds and (a separate time) with broken ribs. Mark Webber racing with pins in his broken shin. Lance driving with his broken wrists and toes. Max driving with his concussion (2021). Alex driving 2 days after coming out of a coma from appendicitis. Carlos driving days after the surgery of his appendicitis. QATAR 2023 AS A WHOLE. I can go on and on about different times and instances where drivers are not healed or well enough to drive, yet no one thinks to stop them???

Yes they are adults and they can do what they want as long as their doctors clear them, but there should be a limit, right?

f1 is all about pushing the limit, but should that limit be the physical health and well being of the people driving the cars?

how many possible concussions and injuries get ignored simply because a crash was "small" and didn't set of the G-Force monitor?

And i dont know if its the difference in American VS European culture that allows the drivers in Indycar to seek out help and understand their limits, but its truly amazing seeing how well drivers take care of themselves in Indycar compared to f1.

Not to say f1 drivers dont take care of themselves, they just dont allow themselves to be injured/ill even if they are.

------

3 - driver mental health

The stress of the drivers in both series are intense, but wildly different.

Ive found that diet culture is very different in f1 and indycar. Again maybe its the difference of USA vs Europe but i think the main thing is how important weight is in f1 compared to indycar.

Every gram, ounce, and pound is critical in an f1 car and by extension: the driver. Thats why the drivers are always so thin, have lean muscles and are on super strict diets.

Ive brought this up with my family, but when looking at drivers in f1, especially the taller ones like Ocon, its incredibly disconcerting and scary to see men who should be at least 200 pounds being 140. It's even more scary when you hear George Russell talking about how he needs to lose weight in order to get faster.

Its horrifying listening to interviews where drivers talk about weight or food in terms with getting faster. The interview that makes me just absolutely distraught is the one of Nico Rosberg talking about how he "won the championship" becusse he lost weight to gain seconds. He stopped doing things he loved (biking) because he needed to lose muscle weight. He took as much weight as he could off his helmet to get lighter.

Then there is Alex Albon talking about the goal is to lose the most amount of weight possible while still being functional enough to do the race. While he isnt saying it as something bad, comparing it to a boxer losing weight before match, its still insane that they cannot eat/drink as much as they want without "costing" the team time and money.

Its almost on par with models and their diets.

Where as in Indycar many of the drivers talk about going to get burgers, getting beer, eating hearty foods and just gaining muscle without fear or worry is amazing. Not to mention it also seems more normalized for the drivers to talk out and be more open on if they are struggling or generally not having a good time.

Maybe indycar just have more available drivers at hand that they can sub in if needed, but they are also racers and want to drive as soon and as much as possible. Yet in indy they lack that mindset of complete disregard of ones self, for some reason.

------

This probably isnt gonna be the last you hear of me on this topic, but i just wanted to put this out there. If theres anything ive missed or didnt cover well enough/incorrectly lmk and ill edit it or make a new post ^^

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 1 – Egg, Cracked

So you want to be a shifter? You’ve read about humanity replacement therapy, or species HRT, but can’t find anything about the shifter version? You’re scared, you’re worried this isn’t the path for you, but part of you wants it more than anything?

You’re not alone. I’ve been there. I’m still there. And I’ve taken the first steps. Tomorrow I have my first appointment, though not with a doctor, and if all goes well, by this time tomorrow, I’ll have taken my first dose.

I’m writing this so you’ll have it easier than I did. Also, I want there to be a record, in case something happens to me. I’m not exactly doing this the traditional way.

* * *

I’ve known what I wanted to be since I knew shifters existed. Everything I heard about them – being fluid, shapeshifting – felt right. I started imagining myself as one. If you’re reading this, you probably know how that feels.

I hid it. Even as a kid, I knew people wouldn’t react well to what went on in my head. You’re not supposed to relate to monsters.

Then things got complicated when I realised I was trans. I told myself that wanting to be a shifter was all about wanting to fix my body, since being able to shapeshift would make that easy. I certainly did want that – but I’d imagined myself as a shifter since long before then. I’d imagined being able to change myself in many other ways, before transition became the most important thing. And after transition, so much was better, but that longing didn’t go away.

This isn’t a contradiction. Fixing one thing, even the most urgent thing, like I did, doesn’t automatically fix everything. But I was in denial. I’d transitioned (once); everything was supposed to be fine, now. I told myself the rest was a fantasy.

Then I heard about species HRT. I read about someone becoming a slime – and that did something to me. Slimes are fluid, and so are shifters. Shifters are slime-adjacent, for sure. Maybe this wasn’t just a fantasy. Maybe it could be real.

I’m not in denial anymore. Egg cracked. Time to transition again.

* * *

Were there signs? Oh yes, there were signs.

Nimona. Mystique. Slime girls. The Changelings. And when a character says no solid could ever understand, feeling it like a punch to the gut. Wanting to understand.

Wanting to fly, wanting to swim. Wondering what it’s like to be huge, or tiny, or a tree, or a rock. Wanting to be everything. Fluidity. Freedom. Flowing and pooling, wanting to be a blob of goo with no form at all.

Learning to phantom-sense extra limbs. Being a shifter in daydreams. Learning to lucid dream so I could learn to shapeshift in there. Still being sad because it could only ever be an approximation.

Sitting by the lake, longing to merge with the water and lose myself for a while. Wishing it wasn’t water, but other shifters, welcoming.

Sometimes want isn’t the word at all, but need.

And there are people who can actually do these things, and I can’t? How is that fair? What sort of world has shifters in it and I’m not one?

Sound familiar?

I read everything I can find about them. Not stories written by humans – those aren’t accurate. Most are just sex, or all about fear and hunger and absorption. Shifters don’t absorb people! – it’s their biggest taboo. I read stories shifters write for themselves – and I can’t get enough. Just don’t look in the comments: you’ve got humans calling them monsters, telling them what they should go do to themselves – and a few brave shifters saying how much the stories mean to them. Sometimes the stories disappear, but they always come back.

‘Fluid as the ocean, wild as the wind, and cannot be contained.’ That’s a thing they say about themselves. That should be me.

I don’t comment, don’t interact – hiding, remember? But the stories mean so much to me, too. They’re a window onto how my life could be. I tried to tell myself this was just a sex thing for a while – more denial. There are plenty other stories I could read, if that was all I wanted. But that isn’t what I imagine when I imagine shifters, or even shifter sex. I imagine being one.

Haters would call me a traitor to my own species. They’d call me sick, mentally ill, monsterfucker, monster. Like I haven’t heard all that before for being trans. I want to tell them I’m nothing like them, that they can keep their precious humanity if this is what it looks like – but I don’t dare. I’m too afraid: what if they’re right? I know what I want to be, I know what I should be, but I look at my body and think: this is what I am, fixed, solid, human. I can’t do anything about it, no matter what I am on the inside, no matter how much I hate it. And this is familiar, too – I felt the same way before my first transition. Trapped as something I hated being. Powerless.

* * *

Except, now, there is something I can do about it.

No doctors prescribe shifter HRT – unlike for other species. The only source is the few shifters who figured out how to make it. They keep it tightly controlled, so they can control who gets it. They want to make sure we meet their standards – that we’re shifter enough. I don’t like that. But other people, who want to make it freely available, haven’t figured out how to make it yet.

I’m not waiting for them, not now that I’ve decided. I couldn’t. I could die – accidents happen, after all. How would I feel, knowing I was dying human, still wondering what it would have been like? Never really having been me? No. I’m not waiting.

So I got in touch, and I spoke to one of them online. She arranged the appointment, and now she’s flying in – and I’m pretty sure that means as a bird, not on a plane. All I have to do is convince her. Tomorrow determines everything. If it goes well, I’ll be starting right away.

I still can’t quite believe it. It feels too good to be true. But it is. It really is. It was the same before – I couldn’t believe anything would change till I took my first dose of estrogen. Sometimes reason isn’t enough, planning isn’t enough, sometimes it takes direct contradiction to break the hold a belief like that can have on me. I’ll never take hormones, meet I am now taking hormones. Suddenly I see I was wrong, and there is hope again.

And tomorrow it’s going to happen again. Hopefully. Finally.

And then I really won’t be human.

Next

I'm doing one of these now too! Inspired by the many other animal HRT stories, especially the two slime HRT series by @sandyca5tle and @scrubbinn. In the beginning it's drawing a lot on my own transition, but will be going very different places.

If you want to read more without waiting for the rest of the series, take a look at my other stories – shifters turn up in lots of them.

Oh and that list of signs? They're all real :)

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@leahnardo-da-veggie @sandyca5tle @scrubbinn

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 18 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Things at the meeting get out of hand and Alcina loses control.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI. Canon violence, blood

Tags: angst, hurt, some comfort, the tiniest dash of fluff

Notes: Part 18! Shit gets real!

Click here for the rest of the series

Gif source

A soft click echoes through the dilapidated chapel when the door closes behind you. Alcina strides forward into the center of the room and you follow behind her right hand side.

"Donna, how have you been?" Alcina asks Donna who is sitting in a chair to the left of the small stage in the back of the room.

"Very well, and yourself, Lady Dimitrescu?"

"Excellent. I've been well. You remember my new handmaiden, yes?"

"Of course. Good morning." Angie's mouth moves but Donna's voice is what comes through.

"Good morning Lady Beneviento." You say with a bow.

"Hey! What about me?!" Angie says in her own voice.

Alcina rolls her eyes at the doll and waves her off.

"Yes, good morning to you too Angie." Alcina mumbles.

"That's what I like to hear! Your new bloodbag is cute, wonder how long she'll last!" Angie says before cackling loudly.

The doll hops off of Donna's lap and walks right up to you and looks up as she circles you.

"Hm, I guess she's okay. Probably won't last too long." She says before shooting you a wink and climbing back into Donna's lap.

"Good morning Miss Angie." You say with a bow.

"And she has manners! Who would've thought?!"

Alcina rolls her eyes again and turns towards the other side of the church. As you look around you notice that the chapel is in worse shape than the hallway that led the two of you here. The back of the room is being help up by what looks like makeshift scaffolding and there's a gaping hole in the ceiling.

"Ah, Salvatore, good morning." Alcina says.

As you look up you see a hunched over man with a rather large hump on his back. He's wearing a black leather jacket that looks more like a cloak draped over him with a crown of, are those bones? Fastened to the hood. Strands of black scraggily hair dangle just below the multiple tumor-like lumps on his neck and face.

Moreau looks up at Alcina and waves with a purple-grey webbed hand.

"Good morning Lady." He gurgles.

"Salvatore, I would like you to meet my new handmaiden." Alcina says, gesturing to you.

"Good morning Lord Moreau." You say with a bow.

The man lets out a noise that almost sounds like a sob. When you look up you see a mouth full of rotted and crooked teeth, most of which are nearly pointing outwards towards you. It's then you realize that he's laughing. A feeling of uneasiness washes over you and you look up at Alcina to find her narrowing her eyes at the man.

"Oh this must be the one mother was speaking of!" He says as he excitedly claps his hands together. "Mother said she has many fun things planned for you!"

"Has she now?" Alcina says as her stare intensifies.

Moreau looks up at Alcina and the glee in his eyes quickly fades. He begins to stutter and she cuts him off.

"Well I certainly hope mothers plans on playing nice. We all know that I take pride in keeping what is mine in pristine condition and that I don't like when my property is damaged." She says through her teeth.

You watch as the ice laced in her voice causes Salvatore to shrink back into himself. He begins to tremble under her stare and just when you think the man before you is going to fall down to his knees and beg for her forgiveness, the back doors swing open with a loud "BANG."

Everyone turns and looks towards the direction the noise came from to find Heisenberg strutting through the doors with his hammer slung over his shoulder.

"Heisenberg. Do you have any manners?" Alcina hisses as she walks towards him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's not like this dump could get any worse."

"You're late."

"So is the bird bitch but I bet I won't see you saying shit to her about it." Alcina glares at him and his gaze shifts to you. "Hey kid, gotcha something."

He tosses something at you and you're able to catch it even though you were caught off guard. Alcina eyes what's in your hand as you unravel it and you realize it's a dagger in a leg holster. You slide the dagger out of its holster to take a look at it. Right away you notice the Dimitrescu coat of arms engraved into both sides of the hilt. The dagger is lightweight but razor-sharp, it's beautiful.

"Thank you very much, Lord Heisenberg. It's wonderful, your craftsmanship is excellent." You say with a bow.

"Don't thank me yet. You can thank me when you know it works." He shoots you a wink and Alcina's glare towards him intensifies. "Go ahead, slap that baby on!"

You look up at Alcina to see that her eyes are still aimed at Karl. Her gazes drops down to you and she sighs and gives you a nod. Stepping aside, you turn away from everyone and strap the dagger to your thigh so you can easily grab it with your dominant hand. After making sure it's secure and easily accessible, you smooth out your dress over it and turn back to the two of them and give them a nod.

Karl gives you a nod and Alcina places her hand on your back and begins to guide you towards her large chair. Karl sits in the pew opposite of her and you stand to her right just a touch behind her.

"Sal, Donna, china doll." Karl says, nodding to each person.

"HEY! I'm not china doll!" Angie screeches.

"Might as well be, Frankenstein." He drawls.

"Listen you! Keep it up and you're gonna regret it!"

"What are you gonna do? Give me a splinter?"

Donna has to restrain Angie in her lap so she doesn't jump out and run over to Karl.

"I'll show you what I can do!"

Alcina pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to keep her temper from getting away from her.

Just as Karl is about to retort and Alcina's patience nearly runs out there's a burst of black feathers in the center of the stage. Mother Miranda steps out from the black cloud in her usual garb. Alcina releases the breath she was holding and Angie and Karl's bickering immediately stops.

"My children, good morning."

"Good morning Mother Miranda." You all say in unison.

"I hope this morning finds you all well." She says, looking at each person in the chapel. Her eyes wander from Karl, to Sal, to Donna and Angie, to Alcina and finally land on you. You watched as each person, Angie included, met her gaze and bowed their head so you do the same when she catches your eyes. "Ah, y/n. So wonderful to have you with us today."

"The pleasure is all mine, Mother Miranda." You say.

"You will be taking today's notes, is that correct?"

"Yes Mother Miranda."

"Excellent." She walks over to you and places a book and a pen into your hands. "I look forward to reading your recordings. Please, pull up a chair." She says, gesturing to a knocked over chair behind you.

Looking at Alcina, she gives you a nod and you move to pick up the chair, placing it in the exact spot you were standing; on Alcina's right side just a little behind her. Mother Miranda watches your every move until you're seated and have the book open in your lap. After looking you over once more she makes her way back to the center of the stage.

"It has come to my attention that there have been hunters in the vicinity of the castle, is that correct Heisenberg?"

"Yes, my lycans have encountered nearly 20 of them in the span of just a few days. They seem organized and heavily armored. Two were also spotted a few miles south of Potter's Field as well as two more south of the reservoir. My lycans went out to find more and to follow them back to their base but they haven't seen any more since the last encounter."

"And did you meet with Alcina like I had asked of you?"

"Yes, we met the other day to discuss a plan. I am increasing the amount of lycans I have patrolling the castle grounds. I am also sending out extra lycans to both Potter's Field and the reservoir to patrol."

"And I plan on patrolling the castle grounds myself this week to see what I can find." Alcina adds.

"Excellent. Were there any prisoners taken?" Miranda asks.

"My lycans were able to get one after the last fight, but the prisoner put a bullet in his own head before they were able to get anything useful out of him."

"Well, that's certainly interesting, isn't it?"

"Can't say it's happened before."

"And when the base is located, what is the plan?"

"We plan on taking some time to quietly scout it out. Get a rough layout, a headcount of the amount of hunters that are there, what kind of weapons they have and if we can get wind of their plans. Once the information is gathered we will act accordingly."

Mother Miranda, Karl and Alcina discuss the hunters more as you continue to take as detailed notes as possible. Donna and Salvatore chime in every so often with questions and suggestions. Donna said that if the hunters do end up entering the field she will use her cadou powers to get rid of them. Moreau seemed more worried and mentioned that he doesn't have as much control over his mutations as his siblings, leaving him more vulnerable. Karl and Alcina reassured him that they will take extra precautions to ensure his safety.

"Does anyone have any more questions or concerns?" Mother Miranda asks. When no one says anything, her eyes shift over to you. "Well then, it seems as though this portion of the meeting is finished. Y/n, if you could be so kind, could you please bring me your notes?"

You feel your body tense and your eyes shift towards Alcina. Alcina's eyes are narrowed towards Mother Miranda. Miranda returns Alcina's look and Alcina turns her head towards you and gives you a nod. There's a worry in her eyes you can tell she's trying to hide. Maybe no one else can see it, but you can. Perhaps because you're trying to hide the same look from your eyes.

"Well, well, Alcina. Do you have this one well trained." Miranda says as she watches you move towards her.

The short walk towards Miranda felt like it was a mile long. As hard as you tried to keep your nerves at bay you could feel your heartbeat increase with each step towards her. You truly felt like you were walking into the lions den. Miranda extends her hand and you give her the book. She flips through it, skimming through the notes you've taken. After a minute she closes the book and holds it down. Angie jumps out of Donna's lap and grabs the book from Miranda and returns to Donna. Miranda takes a step towards you and you feel your breath freeze in your lungs. You do your best to keep your face neutral but your heartbeat is so loud it's drowning out the sound of everything else around you.

"Excellent job. Your penmanship is quite exquisite."

"Thank you, Mother Miranda." You say as you bow your head.

Just before you're about to pick your head back up you feel cold metal against your skin. Opening your eyes you realize Miranda has placed one of her talon-clad knuckles under your chin and lifts your gaze up to meet hers.

"So, you are Alcina's new handmaiden?"

"Yes Mother Miranda."

"What else?"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand?"

"What else do you do for her?" She hisses.

"I do anything my Mistress asks of me, Mother Miranda." You say, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

"Anything, you say?"

"Yes Mother Miranda." You say before you swallow hard.

"What about you is so special? Why would she chose you, purchase you, a poor orphan? A useless wretch?"

You can hear Alcina shift uncomfortably in her chair and Miranda's eyes snap towards her. They slide back to you and an evil grin creeps across her lips.

Before you know it, the finger that was under your chin snaps down and she grabs you by the neck and lifts you up.

Instinctively, your hands grab at her wrist and your feet dangle just above the ground. Mother Miranda slowly presses the base of her palm against the front of your throat and she begins choking you. You start to sputter and your feet start to flail.

"Mother Miranda that is enough!" Alcina roars as she stands to her full height.

Miranda holds out a finger towards Alcina, signaling for her to wait.

"What is it about her that makes you want to protect her so, my daughter?" She asks while she examines you. "What about her is so special? So special in fact that you are unwilling to allow me to use her in my experiments?"

"Mother Miranda let her go!"

Miranda's grasp around your neck only tightens as she cuts off the rest of your airflow. Her sharp talons dig into your skin and you feel blood begin to trickle down your neck.

"Just how much are you willing to sacrifice, Alcina? I had to teach Karl a similar lesson all those years ago. I never thought you would be in need of one as well but perhaps I was wrong about you all along."

"Mother Miranda, please! She is not a distraction, I am still working diligently towards your goal, please just let her go!"

As you're struggling in her grasp you see Donna and Angie in your peripheral vision as your eyes dart around the room. Donna is as stiff as a mannequin but Angie has a look of horror on her face. You hear movement to your right and you look over to see Moreau staring at Miranda with a look of excitement on his face and Karl next to him with his hammer in his hand. You feel something move on your leg and you realize it's Karl wiggling the dagger, reminding you it's there. Your vision begins to blur as you gasp and the world around you begins to spin.

"Are you sure I don't need to teach you a lesson Alcina?"

"Yes Mother, please!"

An evil chuckle emerges from her lips. With her free hand, Mother Miranda digs her talon into your clavicle and pulls down as blood begins to pour down your chest. Her talon in your skin feels like a hot knife and you can't do anything but scream out in pain before she throws you to the ground.

You feel the impact of the hard stone but it doesn't register right away. The first thing you do is gasp for air as your hands go to your neck and chest.

Alcina begins to step towards you and you hear Miranda tsk at her.

"My, my, Alcina. I've never seen you care for such a disposable maiden before. Maybe you do need to learn a lesson after all."

"Mother no!" You hear Alcina shout before the ground next to you splits in two and a black vine shoots up towards the sky. Pieces of stone are sent flying across the room and the vine dives down towards you.

Mother Miranda cackles as the vine wraps around your neck again and lifts you into the air. You hear Alcina scream and when you look over towards her, her legs and arms are being bound by more vines.

The vines begin to choke you as they dangle you in front of Alcina, just outside of her reach. There is fear in her eyes, you can see the terror as she watches the vine around your neck tighten its grip. Alcina roars and rips her arm out of one of the vines when you reach out towards her. The vine holding you pulls you further away. A new vine tries to grab Alcina's free hand but her claws come out and she shreds it when it tries to grapple her.

Remembering the dagger strapped to your leg, you reach down and grab it. Even something as simple as grabbing the dagger that's strapped to you is harder than it should be. Your vision starts to get spotty and you put all of your focus into reaching for the blade. Your bloodied fingers are able to find the grooved hilt, they graze over the coat of arms engraving and you're able to grab it. With one quick swipe you manage to cut through the vine. When you're released from it's grasp you plummet to the floor and hit the ground. The noise of metal against stone rings in your ears as the dagger bounces away. Air once again floods your lungs and after a moment you're able to breathe.

Before you can catch your breath, another vine lunges towards you and you dodge it. The dagger isn't far from your grasp so you crawl across the dirt coated stone floor and grab it. Another vine comes at you and you roll away. When you're finally able to get back to your feet another, thicker vine shoots towards you and you parry it, slicing it with the sharp blade. More vines come at you and you're able to evade most of the attacks. Each time one wraps around one of your limbs you're able to cut it off and escape. Looking over at Alcina, thicker, stronger vines try to hold her back but her focus stays on you. She has both fear and rage in her eyes. You notice them widen when you make eye contact with her and she yells out "draga!"

By the time you see the vine coming towards you it's too late. It wraps itself around the hand your dagger is in and crawls up your forearm. In one hark flick the vine throws you across the room, the dagger flying out of your grasp.

You're thrown into debris and broken pews and Alcina screams. When you open your eyes everything is blurry and spinning. As your vision stabilizes and clears you see her shred through the vines holding her in place. She claws at every vine that comes her way as she runs towards you before she falls to her knees and scoops you into her arms.

Everything around you spins again and all you see are more vines coming towards you. Instinctively, you close your eyes and wait for the vines to wrap around you once more. Alcina's body violently twitches and she lets out a pained cry. A horrific tearing sound and the cracking of bones fill your ears as she cries out and holds you tighter. With one last twitch Alcina's shoulders slump forward, all of the noise fades and you notice that the light has dimmed through your closed eyelids. When you open them up again, you're met with Alcina's golden eyes. Looking around you see massive white, veiny wings surrounding you both. Alcina brushes the hair out of your face and you meet her gaze once more.

"I have you, draga mea. I have you." She whispers with a trembling voice.

You bring your hand to her face and stroke her cheek with your thumb. Alcina closes her eyes and leans into your touch. A slow clap pulls the two of you away from your moment and Alcina pulls her wings back allowing the light in. She turns with you in her arms and Mother Miranda is standing at the edge of the stage slowly clapping her hands.

"Well, well. That was quite a show. Your little handmaid is more dexterous than I would have thought. And you, Alcina, care more deeply for her than I ever would have imagined. You defy me, for her?" She says, her voice growing cold.

You can feel the rapid rise and fall of Alcina's chest against your body, you can practically feel the anger radiating off of her.

"I have told you before, Mother, she is mine. She is my property. You said you understood and that you would leave her be."

"You care for her?"

"Yes."

"You need her?"

"Yes."

"Then prove it."

Alcina's grip around you tightens and you look up at her and back to Mother Miranda. Miranda has a sinister smirk on her face and it's worse than unsettling. It's downright terrifying.

"Prove it, Alcina. Prove to me that you care for her, that you need her. Feed from her."

Terror flashes before Alcina's eyes and by the time you blink it's gone. She's nearly trembling as she stares at Miranda. It's mostly out of anger but there's something about her that makes you feel her fear. Whether or not Miranda can feel it too is something you're unsure of. For whatever reason, Alcina is worried about feeding from you and you don't know why. She's done it plenty of times before and there's never been any issues. There's something about this that's different, but you don't know what.

"If you do, I give you my word, I will leave her alone. For good." She says, her sinister smile curling upwards even more.

Alcina's wings flare at Miranda's statement and she looks down at you. Looking up to meet her gaze, you see how scared she is, but you also see something else, something you've never seen before. It's almost animalistic, feral even. The both of you know this is your only chance, but deep down you know that if Mother Miranda knew this would be easy she never would have suggested it. It worries you but you're much more afraid of Miranda than you are of Alcina, even if the look in her eyes is completely feral. This was your one shot, you had to take it.

You raise your hand to Alcina's cheek and stroke it with your thumb.

"It's okay, I trust you." You whisper.

Miranda chuckles and Alcina looks up and glares at her. She looks back down at you and you smile at her, nodding your head. Her grip on you relaxes and when it does you notice her golden eyes begin to cloud with white. Alcina lifts you towards her mouth and she leans down.

She inhales deeply through her nose into your neck and you can feel and hear a deep growl come from inside her chest. You've heard her growl before but this was stronger, more primal than you've ever heard before. Alcina begins to suck and lick the perfect spot on your neck. Each movement becoming more frenzied than the last. Whenever Alcina fed from you previously she was always gentle, she made sure it was as painless as possible every time. This time you can feel her control slipping and a bolt of fear shoots through you.

The moment you felt that fear it was like Alcina was able to smell it. Because the moment after it hit you she bit down into your neck harder than she ever has before. You clench your jaw to keep the yelp in but you still grunt in pain. After biting through your flesh Alcina takes deep gulps from your neck, her grip on you tightening once more.

This is the worst pain you've ever felt in your life and she isn't making it any better. Previously, Alcina would barely move as she fed from you, but today her head and neck are bobbing with each gulp. Every time she sucks down more blood you can feel her teeth sinking further and further into your body. You can hear them tearing through muscles and tendons, the noises make your stomach churn. Every time she bites through something else inside of you you can feel every inch of her teeth against parts of you body that should never be exposed.

Alcina has never taken this much blood from you and you realize that she's completely out of control. She doesn't realize how much she's hurting you, and right now, she doesn't care. This is why Miranda wanted her to do this. She knew she wouldn't be in control of herself. Miranda wanted Alcina to be the one that kills you.

Another bolt of fear shoots through you and Alcina becomes more ravenous.

"Alcina!" You say, trying to push her off of you. "Alcina! Stop!"

She grabs your wrist and pulls it away from her face, as if you're getting in her way. You start to thrash in her grasp as panic sets in. She's going to kill you. The harder you fight the tighter her grip on you becomes and the more she drinks.

"Alcina please! Stop! You're hurting me!" You cry.

You were trying to keep your tears from falling but now you've lost all control of them. As you continue to try, and fail, to fight her off you start to feel weak. Soon you physically can't fight back anymore. Tears stream down your face and you cry out to her.

"Alcina, please! Please stop! That's enough, please!"

Your begs fall on deaf ears. This isn't Alcina, you don't know who - or what - has possessed her but this isn't the woman you love right now. That woman is far gone and has been replaced with a bloodthirsty creature you've never seen before. The more she drinks, the more lightheaded you feel. You can feel her teeth scraping against the artery in your neck and the fear gets stronger. If she punctures it, that's it. You'll be dead in minutes. There has to be something you can do to save yourself, isn't there? You don't want to die, not like this.

Alcina, the woman you love, is going to be the death of you. She's going to be the one who kills you. It breaks your heart knowing how devastated she's going to be when she realizes what she's done. If you were going to die, you're glad it would be by her hand at least. You would chose being killed by Alcina as opposed to Mother Miranda any day of the week, but still, you don't want to die.

The world around you begins to blur and you think back to your training with Cassandra, desperately trying to remember if you learned anything that could help you right now. The entire time you were training was to help you defend yourself against Miranda, you never thought you would have to defend yourself against Alcina.

As the thoughts flood your mind you remember something Cassandra had said at dinner after your first day of training. You were too exhausted to really participate in the conversation but you remember she said something about how prey tastes better when it's afraid. The fear sweetens the blood.

A lightbulb goes off in your head. The room begins to spin faster and your vision gets blurrier but you do your best to completely relax in her arms. You stop fighting against the hand she has around your wrist and after a few moments she loosens her grip enough for you to slide out of it. Bringing it to her face, you begin to caress her cheek and whisper to her.

"Alcina, my love, please. That's enough. That's enough."

You know you can't handle much more, if she doesn't stop, that's it. As you continue to caress her cheek with the little strength you have left you realize there's a very good chance you won't be able to stop her. One nick to that artery and you're done. More tears fall down your cheeks as you make peace with the fact that this is how you're going to die.

"I love you, Alcina. I love you. Let me go, that's enough."

Just as you feel like you're about to lose consciousness, just as you feel her starting to bite down harder into that artery, she eases up. Mustering up the tiny amount of energy and lifeforce you have left, you continue to caress her cheek and whisper to her.

"That's enough my love, that's enough."

Alcina pulls away from your neck and you feel the blood pour down your shoulder and back. It takes a lot of energy but you manage to open your eyes. When you look up you expect to be met with Alcina's golden irises but instead you're met with completely white eyes. As if the gold was never there to begin with. Her impassive eyes stare down at you as you bleed in her arms from your neck and chest wounds. Alcina's face is covered in your blood, coating her chin down to her neck and chest. She looks like a predator that just had its way with its prey.

Her grip around you tightens and her breathing starts to increase and her eyes widen as if she's afraid.

"Shh, I'm okay." You whisper as you stroke her face again. "I'm okay."

She leans down and you close your eyes. You feel her nose against your cheek as she gently nudges you, like a mother animal nuzzling her baby. A whimper escapes from her and you open your eyes once more.

"I'm okay," you say as you struggle to stay conscious. "I'm okay."

Alcina's eyes dart up as Mother Miranda takes a step forward. A deep warning growl rumbles in her chest towards Miranda. Miranda takes another step forward and Alcina takes one large step backwards, baring her teeth and snarling at her, holding you in a protective position in her arms. Mother Miranda doesn't take another step forward and Alcina takes one more step backwards before kneeling to the ground and covering the both of you with her wings again. Your eyes open when you feel her nudge you again with her nose and after you make eye contact with her she nuzzles you.

Alcina leans in towards the wound and you try to lift your hand but you're too weak.

"No more Alcina, please."

She pulls back and nudges you again. A loud purr erupts from her chest and you can feel the vibration throughout your body. She leans in towards the wound again. You realize that she isn't going to feed anymore so you don't stop her. Alcina licks over the open wound, cleaning away the blood. It's still bleeding profusely but the more Alcina tends to it, the less it bleeds. The purring in her chest echoes throughout the chapel as she continues to clean you. When she's finished she places a soft kiss to the wound and pulls away, you open your eyes to see the white in her eyes slowly fading back into gold.

Alcina blinks a few times and a few tears roll down her cheeks. She puts her forehead to yours and holds you tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry draga." She whispers.

Her arms begin to tremble and she pulls away, wiping the tears from her eyes. Standing back up, her wings fold against her back, opening you up to the rest of the chapel once more.

Glaring at Mother Miranda, Alcina doesn't wait for her to speak.

"Are we finished here?" She says through bloody, gritted teeth.

Mother Miranda tilts her head as she observes the two of you for a moment.

"Very well. I suppose so. Meeting adjourned."

In a burst of black feathers, Miranda is gone. Alcina wastes no time opening up her wings and begins to beat them. After a few seconds her feet are off the ground and she's flying through the air and out of the hole in the chapels ceiling with you in her arms.

If you were more conscious you would be either terrified or amazed as she flies you over the castle grounds. Since you can barely keep your eyes open you focus on the feeling of the wind in your face and try to stay awake.

Alcina lands on the balcony of her chambers. The blood she took from you is starting to take its effect and she can finally let her wings disintegrate. It's uncomfortable but not nearly as painful as it is when they rip themselves out of her back when they form. She dusts off her dress and ducks into the room.

She lays you on the bed and cuts your uniform off of you and removes the now empty leg holster. After taking off her gloves - her hat had fallen off and was forgotten about during the fight - she grabs medical supplies from the bathroom and returns to your bedside.

Truthfully, you feel half dead, you probably looked it too. The blood loss you've suffered is making you a little delusional. You think you're in Alcina's room but you're not quite sure since the room is spinning and your vision is blurry and black spots are fading in and out of it.

The wound on your neck opened up again and continues to bleed. Luckily she never hit your artery but you're still bleeding too much. Alcina takes out gauze and places it over the bite mark, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. The feeling of pressure on your wound sends a lightening rod of pain through your body and you cry out as you try and move out of her grasp.

"Shh, I know it hurts draga, I know. I have to apply pressure to it, we have to get the bleeding under control." She pleads with you as you start to thrash under her grip. "Draga please!"

The more she tries to restrain you the more you scream and cry. You don't understand that she's trying to help, all you know is that you're in pain and you need it to stop.

The door to Alcina's room swings open and the three girls swarm inside.

"What's going on?!" Bela asks.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Daniela screams when she sees you, a bloodied mess, on her mothers bed.

"Hold her down!" Alcina yells at the girls. The three of them remain frozen in place. "Now, damnit!"

Bela flies to the other side of the bed and holds your arms down, Daniela and Cassandra each hold down one of your legs. Alcina continues to apply pressure to the wound and you shake your head back and fourth trying to get her off. A large hand cups your face and holds you still. Opening your eyes you see Alcina's golden eyes filled with tears.

"I know it hurts draga, I know. I have to stop the bleeding. Please, please relax."

Your body is still in fight or flight mode but your brain begins to register that she's trying to help. Staring into her eyes, you stop flailing and start to cry.

"It hurts." You say through tears.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry, just hold still, it'll all be over soon. I promise."

"Mama, was this you?" Daniela asks as her wide eyes stare at the blood soaked gauze at your neck.

Alcina can't bear to look her daughter in the eye. She turns her head as the tears she's desperately holding back threaten to fall.

"What happened?" Cassandra says through her teeth. Alcina keeps her head turned and Cassandras tone becomes ice cold. "Mother, what did you do?"

Looking down at Cassandra, you feel her grip on your calf tighten and you see the anger in her eyes directed towards her mother. As the panic in you fades, you realize just how angry she is at Alcina. For all she knows Alcina lost control and almost killed you on her own.

"Cassandra, please." Alcina whispers.

"You almost killed her!" She yells.

"It's not her fault." You say with a rasped whisper.

From Mother Miranda's hand and vines around your neck, your throat is in pain and you can barely speak. Cassandra's gaze shifts from her mother to you. Her eyes are just as intense but have less rage directed your way.

"It was Miranda's fault. She made her."

Speaking just that much was enough to properly exhaust you. You close your eyes and Cassandra looks back at her mother.

"Cassandra I didn't have a choice-"

"I told you she was evil!" Cassandra yells. "We've been telling you for years that Mother Miranda is horrible and you wouldn't listen to us! Now look what happened! You almost killed her! This never would have happened if you told that bitch to fuck off!"

"Cassandra Dimitrescu-"

"No! I don't care! I don't care if Miranda made you, this is your fault! Look at what you've done to her!" She yells, gesturing to your bloodied and bruised body. "Look at what you did!"

Alcina stares at Cassandra with her mouth open in shock. Out of the three girls Cassandra was always the one that talked back the most but she's never screamed at Alcina like this before. The room is so silent you can hear a pin drop. Looking at her daughter, Alcina reaches out to put her hand on her arm.

"Cassandra,"

Cassandra's arm turns to flies and Alcina's hand goes straight through it.

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't care. I'm so sick of this bullshit!" She shouts before swarming out of the room.

Alcina's hand covers her mouth as she sits there in shock. She begins to tremble as she tries with all of her strength to keep herself from breaking down in front of you and her daughters. No matter how hard she squeezes her eyes shut the tears begin to pour down her cheeks.

Bela and Daniela sit on the bed frozen. Cassandra was always the most like Alcina, their tempers practically mirroring one another, but this was the only time they've ever seen her scream at someone like that that wasn't a maid. They never thought they would ever see her flip out on either one of them like that, no less their mother.

Shaking her head trying to rid herself of the tears, Alcina grabs more gauze from the medical kit and replaces it with the blood-soaked gauze on your neck. She's trying to busy herself so she doesn't break down but her hands are trembling with every movement and her eyebrows are knit so closely they've practically become one.

"Bela," Alcina says with a shaking voice. "Do you think her chest wound will require stitches?"

Bela looks at her mother with confusion and worry for a moment before examining the cut Miranda gave you.

"No, I don't think so. It doesn't look deep. If it's taken care of properly it shouldn't scar too badly."

"Good. Bandage it up please."

"Mother,"

"Bela, please. Do it now." Alcina says as she barely holds on to her composure.

Bela makes quick work of the cut, applying an ointment to prevent infection - that stung like a bitch - and bandaging it up. As she tends to your wound Alcina is focused on your neck. She continues to check to see if the bleeding has stopped and it hasn't, although it has slowed. The longer Alcina looks at the wound she gave you, the harder it is for her to hold back.

"Okay, it's done."

"Thank you. That is all girls," she says as her voice shakes. "you may go."

Tears begin to roll down her cheeks and her breath trembles as she inhales.

"But mom-" Daniela says.

"No, go." The girls say nothing but don't move. The thin rope Alcina was clinging to snaps and a sob breaks out. "Just go!" She shouts as she waves them off.

With one hand still applying pressure to your neck, her other hand rests on your chest. Alcina folds forward, her head laying on top of her hand and the dam breaks. Her shoulders shake as she cries into you, Bela and Daniela exchange looks and they both move off of the bed. Both of them give their mothers arm a loving squeeze before they leave the room, shutting the door behind them.

Your hand finds the back of Alcina's head and you run your fingers through her hair as you try and comfort her.

"It's not your fault Alci, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I'm a monster."