#And things just feel a little bit more lonely and my heart feels. Idk off? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-girl69 · 3 months

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After Midnight

Caroline (KK) Harvey x Fem!Reader

—-

synopsis: flirting with the star hockey player at the frat party isn’t what you would normally do, but it’s after midnight and something about the lights is making everything a little hazy.

feel free to send requests!!! 🫶🫶

a/n: GUYS PLEASE. PLEASE IGNORE THIS. i’m sorry i’ve betrayed all my morals… but i cant sit idly by while my fellow kk lovers suffer… i hope you all enjoy!!

After Midnight - Chappell Roan

warnings: not proofread!!!, ALCOHOL!!! we are in a FRAT people!!, some swearing ofc, super brief barely there mentions of violence and such, kk is taller than reader by like an inch suck it idc i do what i want, super brief mention of y/n having hair (length unspecified), idk like a bit of kissing and some somewhat suggestive thoughts… y/n is a freak 💔, i’ve never flirted with anyone before how do you do this, so probs inaccurate, i don’t know anything about hockey just prefacing this, i also don’t know how college works rip, as chappell roan said: “i love a little drama, let’s start a bar fight, cause everything good happens after midnight”

—-

“Shit, babe, you look fuckin’ hot.”

This entire night is almost painful for you. Stepping out of your comfort zone on any level is always an adjustment, but trading your early nights in with homework and Netflix for a sexy dress showing everything in all the right and wrong places- is especially hard.

You almost cringe touching the velvet fabric of your revealing dark red shirt, staring at someone in the mirror you don’t even recognize.

“Jackie,” you mumble to your best friend and roommate, “I think it’s.. too much.”

Jackie tilts her head to the side, short dirty blonde hair swaying with the movement. She’s only humoring you, you can tell. “Nope. Perfect.”

You look at the pictures stuck in the slats of the mirror. Pictures of you, Jackie, and the other girl in your trio, Tyla, faces pressed together in bright smiles from various adventures from your freshman year at college.

It was such a relief when Jackie was the sweetest girl and an amazing person to share a dorm with, but when she brought along her best friend Tyla from a few doors down- the three of you fell into a quick and beautiful friendship, like the ones in the movies.

Jackie and Tyla were definitely more on the party girl side than the study girl side, but that was what was so great about your friendship. You reminded them that they did in fact have homework, and they pushed you to do things like this every once in a while.

This was the first time you had ever suggested it. Midterms were over- it would be wrong to not celebrate. To breathe in the few seconds you had left as a freshman, before it all got turned up again for sophomore year.

“Okay,” Jackie breathes, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “Take a deep breath, babe. The fit is a lot, yes, but it’s gorgeous. I mean, damn, where have you been hiding that ass?”

You bite your lip, eyes tearing away from the pictures, meeting Jackie’s eyes in the reflection.

“My ass does look really good,” you concede.

“Hell yeah it does!” Jackie shouts, smiling brightly. “Don’t be nervous, okay? It’s just some random frat party. We can go sit outside if it gets too much.”

It’s break. It’s Friday night. You look good, however uncomfortable you are.

“Fuck,” you mumble. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

“You’re good?”

“I’m just gonna do a few shots when we get there.”

“That’s my girl.”

Jackie thinks for a moment. “Besides, I think it’s a party to celebrate the girls hockey team winning a game, or something like that. The attention is gonna be far away from you. But…”

She trails off, picking at a piece of thread hanging from her comforter.

“What?” You ask, heart jumping to your throat in fear.

“Dylan might be there,” she shrugs.

Ugh.

Dylan.

Dylan wasn’t even that big of a problem, just a boy you had overzealously dated right when you got to college, when you were adjusting and still kind of lonely, only to find out his obsessive, stalker-ish personality was literal hell to be in a relationship with.

After maybe a week of constant love-bombing and clinginess, you broke up with him- and he tried for literal months to get your attention before he finally seemed to give up.

Once in a while, you’d see him at these parties, and he’d stare at you in a way that was probably supposed to be sexy, but was only weird and uncomfortable.

“Who gives a fuck about him?” You ask, your own surprise reflected in Jackie’s face.

“Damn, girl. Yeah, you’re fuckin’ right. Who gives a fuck about his sad ass?”

“I don’t,” you scoff, refusing to let him ruin your night.

The bathroom door slams open suddenly, revealing Tyla in an even more revealing black dress. Skin tight with cut outs showing her dark skin.

“Jesus Christ, I pity the other girls at that bar.” Tyla runs her hands down her sides, smiling brightly in a way that can only be joking.

And you laugh, and you laugh when she softly bumps you away from the mirror and admires herself even more.

—-

Because of this rash decision to go out, Tyla hadn’t done her usual shopping for the pregame so you were forced to go to the party early- which Tyla actually groaned at and complained about how “embarrassing” it was. But after a few shots, that embarrassment fell away and she was back to being the funny, confident girl you knew her as.

You talked amongst the three of you, and with the two boys who were acting as bartenders, until more and more people slowly started filing in and the sky got dark. It was probably close to 10pm by the time the party really got busy, and those first two hours faded into a montage of alcohol stinging your throat and the sounds of your best friends laughing.

When the hockey team finally arrived, you were sitting on a couch with your girls, Tyla talking in this played-up sensual voice to a random boy who had taken an interest in her, while you and Jackie were busy scouting out the new arrivals and the different kinds of alcohol they placed on the table.

Even if Jackie hadn’t off-handedly mentioned it earlier, you quickly would have found out who this party was for. A large group of girls walked into the party, immediately met with cheers and shots, swarmed with alcohol and congratulations.

Some guy, probably one who actually lived in this house, whipped out a shitty megaphone and shouted their arrival, but it wasn’t even that loud.

Even you, however studious you were, knew about the girl’s hockey team. A bunch of them had played on the Olympic team a few years ago, and all the students of this D1 school were generally pretty proud that the Wisconsin team had won the most national championships.

Most of them were wearing their jerseys, but a few had dressed up. The girl’s hockey team was probably the hottest, most talented group of girls to ever be within 100 feet of you.

It was almost unfair how all of them were so beautiful and so talented, but you suppose that the rigorous workout schedules of Olympic and national athletes didn’t leave a lot of room for anything other than a fuck ton of muscles.

God, half of them towered over you and all of them could probably break your wrist with just a flick.

It was impressive.

What was most impressive, though, is the way the infamous Caroline Harvey walked in carrying about 27 cases of beer, which must have weighed as much as this fucking house, and effortlessly set it all on the ground beside the table full of red solo cups, chasers, and bottles of vodka.

Cheers rang out and people scrambled towards it, ripping the cardboard boxes open greedily and opening them just as fast.

You watched, hiding your parted mouth with your hand, as Caroline accepted an open beer from someone, cheers with a few of her teammates and drank a long sip. When she was done, she laughed and lifted her shirt to her mouth to wipe off some stray liquid, a movement that let just a sliver of her toned abs peek through.

“Holy fuck,” you whispered, quickly looking to the floor and deciding hockey was your new favorite sport.

You knew her from around campus, you both liked to study in the library at the same time- around 3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it became kind of tradition to just stare at her for a few minutes in between sections of your work. Almost like some weird little reward. You did feel kind of bad about it, but fuck, there was no way you could stop.

Besides, it’s not like she noticed.

You always sat on opposite sides of the library, and she never once even looked in your direction. What Caroline didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and you never see her unless it’s at the library or in passing at parties. But, God, doesn’t it feel good to just relish in how beautiful she is and stare for just a bit.

“Y/N, babe.”

Jackie knocked herself into you, her knees tucked up to her chest, some sort of a smile on her face.

“What’cha doin’?” She asks, smiling in a way that can only be described as evil. “Starin’? Hockey player pique your interest, huh?”

“No,” you say, forcing a laugh into your voice and rolling your eyes. “Just lookin’ at all the commotion.”

You’re trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but now that Jackie’s mentioned it- those abs did pique your interest. And now they came flashing behind your eyes every time you blink.

“Oh, my God, I think I’m in heat,” you mumble, slightly to yourself and slightly to Jackie.

She wraps a lazy arm around your shoulder, letting out a sigh. “Oh, sweet girl, don’t worry. I’ve got you. Which one is it?”

“Caroline,” you mumble, so quiet and so sudden before you can really think about it.

Jackie hums, tilting her head to the side. “Don’t know a whole lot about her, but I heard she had a girlfriend freshman year, so definitely into girls. Not dating anyone right now, though. Olympian, hockey player, all that sexy stuff.”

“Mhmmmmm,” you mumble, sneaking a quick glance and then looking away immediately when she takes another sip of her drink, not wanting to know what would happen if you caught another glimpse of those god-sent abs.

“You gonna do somethin’ about it?” Jackie asks, nudging your head with hers.

“No, no,” you dismiss. “Just… being a freak. Admiring. God, I’m pathetic.”

Jackie laughs, abruptly standing and pulling you to your feet too. “Come on, babe, time for more drinks, let’s get your mind off of this if you’re not gonna make a move.”

You roll your eyes but follow her to the table of drinks farthest away from Caroline and the other hockey players. You’re not going to do anything, it’s not like you have a chance, and you’re just bored without schoolwork to occupy your every thought.

You take a deep breath, standing next to Jackie and surveying your options. Jackie choses for the both of you, definitely the more experienced party girl, mixing a drink that is majority vodka, making you groan slightly just at the thought of it.

“Here you go!” Jackie smiles, placing the red solo cup into your hand, smiling like she’s not trying to give you alcohol poisoning. Her gaze fixes on something behind you, and you faintly register the way her eyes light up- already a little tipsy from the few shots you’ve done- but you can’t even be bothered to question why.

You eye your drink suspiciously, mentally preparing yourself for the taste.

“Whoops,” Jackie mutters, and you look up at her only to feel her push you back.

“Jackie-” you start, angry, and she quickly scurries away from you. You want to kill her a little bit, at least question her- but you don’t get the chance to.

You gasp as you slam into someone behind you, drink splashing all over your front, alcohol mixing with the rich velvet texture of your shirt in a way that might very well ruin it. You bite your lip, glancing around the room, grateful that the room is so crowded and busy that no one noticed.

“Damn Harvey, knockin’ girls over on and off the ice,” someone laughs. You think you hear the sound of someone lightly hitting another person, followed by a small “ow.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

You turn around, Jackie nowhere to be found, and completely freeze when you realize not only did the person you slammed into have enough decency to ask if you were okay, but that person was fucking Caroline Harvey.

You would have laughed at how cliche it was if you weren’t so secretly exhilarated. The only reason you even had this drink was to stop shamefully staring at her.

But she’s right in front of you… and she looks even better like this, cheeks slightly flushed already from the alcohol, a glint in her eyes.

Her eyes meet yours, staring at you in obvious confusion and concern- “Hey? You okay?”

She places her hand on your waist and you suddenly return back into your body, looking anywhere but her eyes that were literally fucking drowning you.

“I’m sorry,” you gasp. “I-I’m fine. I’m just, like, really drunk.” You laugh, awkwardly, trying to pretend that you’re talking to just anyone. Trying to pretend like her hand on your waist wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.

She smiles, Jesus Christ that fucking smile, your knees go a little weak.

“Oh, good. Would be a shame if that pretty head got a concussion.”

You laugh, staring at her smile. Intoxicating. It’s the only word that comes to mind- maybe enchanted. She’s like some drug, and, God, it’s so stupid but you think you might be addicted after hearing her voice just once.

And, the suddenly, so vividly you almost fall over again, you realize what she said to you.

“Here, let me help you,” she says, effortlessly taking the now pretty much empty red solo cup from you and placing it on the table behind you, wrapping her arm around your waist and leading you to what you assume is a bathroom, probably where she was originally going. “I’m Caroline, but you can call me KK.”

Your mouth is slightly agape as she leads you through the crowd, and you suddenly pass by Jackie who gives you a big smile and a thumbs up- disappearing into the crowd before you can curse her name.

Fuck it. She’s right in front of you. The alcohol is getting to your head, the dim lighting is making everything hazy- everything except her pretty blue eyes and her intoxicating smile.

“KK,” you say, testing the nickname. “That’s cute. I’m Y/N.”

“That’s cute,” she echoes, and the way you can hear the smile on her voice seriously makes you almost fall over.

Thankfully, the bathroom she leads you to is kind of out of the way, it’s completely empty and the door clicks behind the two of you.

Your mood immediately deflates when you see yourself in the mirror, your top noticeably darker where sticky alcohol has sunk into the fabric.

“Fuck,” you mumble, peeling the sticky fabric from your skin.

Before you can even think to do anything, Caroline- KK- is running a random hand towel under the sink and gesturing to you. You expect her to hand it to you- but she doesn’t.

“Okay if I touch you?”

God in Heaven.

“Y-yeah,” you choke out, feeling your world literally recalibrate when she puts her hand on your shoulder- so fucking close to your neck- to keep you steady. You always thought it was the stereotype that basketball players have big hands, but apparently hockey players do too.

Her hand is really warm. This bathroom is suddenly really warm. Your cheeks are heating up, and as much as you try to tell yourself it’s from the alcohol- you know it’s not.

“Sorry,” she mumbles after a few more seconds. “I don’t think this is gonna do much. Maybe try putting it in the wash, though.”

You sigh, now turned sideways, hip to the bathroom sink, looking at yourself out of the corner of your eye.

“It’s fine, my friend… bumped into me, and then I backed up straight into you. Not your fault.”

You look up at her, realizing at this close proximity that she’s taller than you, maybe only an inch.

“I might just go home,” you sigh, feeling kind of disgusting in this nasty shirt.

A frown immediately forms on her face.

“Party’s just started, though. Can’t go home yet, baby.”

She wants you to die. She literally wants you to die. She’s secretly an assassin, and you’ve blocked out the memory of some horrible crime you’ve committed, and now she’s here to kill you by calling you baby and having the sexiest abs you’ve ever seen.

Not a bad way to go, though.

“Here,” she says, reaching up and tugging her jersey over her head, again revealing those fucking abs, and she’s left in a black tank top you didn’t even notice the first time you were staring at her abs. “Take my jersey.”

“Oh, no. I can’t, KK. I mean…”

“I was getting hot anyways, it’s good. Take it.”

It’s nicer quality than any other jersey you’ve ever touched before- nicer than the obligatory Wisconsin sweatshirt you bought at the school store.

You cough, taking it with a hand that shakes slightly, not able to look at her.

“…Thank you,” you say after a moment.

She smiles, big and goofy. “It’s no problem. Maybe you can repay me by having a drink with me, though?”

You pretend to think about it, but really you have to knock your knees together so you don’t fall to the floor in excitement.

“That’s a pretty good price.”

You finally meet her eyes, holding your breath as she stares into your eyes like they’re a lifeline.

“Yeah, a drink with my sexy self- pretty good fuckin’ deal.”

You laugh, and she takes a step back, looking you up and down in a way that literally gives you butterflies-

“I’ll let you change,” she says. “Come find me when you’re done, yeah, baby?”

“I’ll find you,” you breathe, turning around to start slipping off your shirt so she doesn’t see the way you literally bite your lip.

The jersey is huge, since they have to be to cover all the padding and gear hockey players wear, and you’re almost worried that you’d look really stupid in it- but your jean bottoms pull it together, somehow.

It smells good. It smells dark, like a forest, still with a hint of something fresh and light. Is this her perfume? You might want to bathe in it.

You still look pretty good, and your mind races, wondering if KK would compliment you in it- but someone bangs on the bathroom door.

“Y/N?!” Jackie. “Y/N? Holy fucking shit- did I just see what I think I saw?!”

Tyla quickly shouts too. “I got dragged away from a really hot guy for this!! Please tell me it’s true!!!”

You open the door wordlessly, holding your hands out wide so Jackie and Tyla can see the the jersey, the Badgers emblem.

“Ladies, hold your applause.”

“What the fuck!” Tyla screams, forcing you to turn around, then tracing a finger along your back, no doubt where Caroline’s last name is printed on. “Harvey. Fucking Caroline Harvey.”

“God, she’s so hot,” Jackie groans, and you whip around to shoot her a glare. “Calm down, jealous bitch, I mean this is hot. Fuck, does she have any friends? This red is a good color on me…”

“Well,” you smile, mirroring Jackie’s own “evil” smile from earlier, “She said to come find her and get a drink. With her.”

“A drink…” Tyla breathes. “With… fucking Caroline Harvey?”

“Fucking Caroline Harvey.”

“I think I might faint from, like, secondhand hotness.”

“Well,” Jackie starts, looking away from the jersey in awe and back at your face, “You look hot. Go over there right now, get that girl, and make out. Just- right on the couch. Fuck right on the couch.”

“I second that,” Tyla smiles, adjusting the jersey slightly. “Fuck her.”

“Okay, shut up, thanks. We’ll see where the night goes.”

“Oh, my God, I can’t even believe you’re doing this. What happened to my little studious best friend?”

“Alcohol,” you shrug, momentarily wondering if you would regret all of this the next morning- but everything is just so goddamn hazy in this frat house, and you can’t think straight, can’t think about anything other than her.

“Okay, okay,” Tyla says, grabbing your shoulders and staring into your eyes like she’s about to gift you with the greatest wisdom. “You want her to come back?”

You inhale sharply. “Maybe.”

“Okay, well, if this goes good- you gotta leave her before midnight.” She glances at her watch, “It’s 11:06 right now, flirt her and romance her, all that, but leave before midnight, got it?”

“Um… why, though?”

“To keep her guessing, to keep her thinking about you, obviously,” Tyla rolls her eyes. “Trust me girl. We’ll meet you outside at 12 and then take an Uber back, right?”

“Right,” you and Jackie both repeat.

“If you really want her, before midnight, okay?”

“Okay, okay, Tyla. I’ll meet you guys then?”

Jackie pretends to wipe a few tears away. “My girl’s all grown up.”

“Shut up,” you laugh, hugging both of them quickly before disappearing into the crowd of people.

—-

You make your way towards a big couch, some armchairs, and a coffee table filled with liquor.

KK’s eyes light up when she sees you, and you notice there’s a conveniently placed empty seat right next to her, and two cups in her hands.

You don’t think anyone has noticed you wearing her jersey yet, and if someone has commented on KK’s lack of jersey, you can’t tell. You smooth it down, take a deep breath and plaster a smile on your face.

A seductive one, you hope, one like Tyla would do. And with the way she mirrors your smile with her own- except this one is just as big and goofy- you think it’s working.

“Y/N?”

Someone walks past you, then immediately stops and steps back, looking right at you.

“Yeah-?”

Oh.

“Hi, Dylan,” you mutter, smile falling from your face immediately.

“Y/N. I haven’t seen you in… forever, it feels like. How’ya been?”

“I’m fine, Dylan. I’m sorry, I’m meeting somebody, okay?” His face falls, and you feel sort of bad, so you add on “Talk soon,” to make yourself feel better.

“Wait,” he says, grabbing your arm, eyes moving from yours down to your outfit. “The fuck are you wearing? A jersey?”

“…Yes,” you say after a moment, genuinely confused until you remember how much Dylan despises sports, thinks they’re all just some popularity contest. “Okay, I’m meeting someone. Bye, Dylan.”

“Hi,” a new voice says, and you smile just a bit when you realize it’s Caroline. “I’m Caroline,” she says, ever-so politely, and it kinda makes your stomach twist. “Are you a friend of Y/N’s?”

Dylan’s eyes narrow at her. “No, I’m her ex.”

“Oh, my God,” you mumble to yourself, stepping close to Caroline. “Shut up.”

KK shoots you a look, and you can’t help but avoid your eyes. You tug your arm away from Dylan, but he doesn’t budge.

“Dylan, please,” you sigh. “I have to go, okay? Let go.”

“No, Y/N, come on-”

“Uh, I think she said let go, buddy.” She still has that same smile on her face, but your eyes flick to her exposed arms, now noticing just how much muscle is there too. There’s this glint to her smile, this edge to her voice, and you would genuinely be kinda scared if it was directed at you.

“This doesn’t involve you,” Dylan huffs. “Y/N and I need to talk- why the fuck are you going around trying to purposefully piss me off? You know I hate sports.”

“Dylan,” you start, genuinely having to take a deep breath. “We dated for a week in freshman year. Let go of me, stop embarrassing yourself, and stop talking to us.”

He stares at you, before scoffing and letting your arm drop. “You’re such a fucking bitch.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “Thank you, Dylan, goodbye.” You turn around, wondering if KK is even going to be there anymore. “I’m sorry-”

“What the fuck is his problem?” She says, and you genuinely smile at the pure disgust on her face. “Seriously- what?”

“I’m sorry,” you giggle. “It’s just… you’re so, disgusted by him.”

“You aren’t?”

“Well, yeah. But I know him.”

“And I’m sorry for that. I met him once and I never want to meet him again. Weird fucking bitch.”

You laugh again, linking your arm through hers without thinking. “Thanks for trying to defend me, though. I’m sorry- he’s just… an annoying bug that won’t go away, normally he doesn’t talk to me- but I guess he was bored tonight.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry, I think we lost the seats I saved.”

You look towards the couch, now completely filled with hockey players. “It’s okay,” you hum. “We can find somewhere else. Wanna go outside?”

—-

With the hum of the party behind you, and the stream of people walking out and walking in, the little bench on the corner of the porch was shrouded in darkness, and you felt like you were just in your own little corner with KK.

You sipped on the drink she had gotten you, exchanging basic information like what majors you were taking, how many siblings you had, and al that boring stuff before she finally stopped talking and just looked at you for a moment.

“What?” you asked, wiping some of your sip from around your lips.

She smiles. “Nothing. My jersey just looks nice on you.”

“Oh,” you say, stupidly. “Really? I was worried it didn’t get the same vibe as my original fit.”

“No, I would say you look even better.”

You smile, taking another sip for confidence before you place your hand on her arm. “So, tell me about hockey. Maybe workout routines?”

She laughs. “Workout routines?”

You softly squeeze her bicep. “Well, you don’t get these by just sitting around, do you?”

She takes a sip of her drink, trying to slyly cover her face, and you smile even wider.

“No, you don’t.” When she looks back at you, there’s the faintest hint of something on her cheeks, you don’t move your hand, sinking back into that addiction of making her blush. “Mostly lifting weights, cardio, boring things.”

“M’kay, what about actual hockey? I heard you were an Olympian, right?”

She flexes her other arm, and you can see a tattoo made up of the Olympics logo, intertwining rings, on her inner bicep.

“I’m defense, number 4, and I’m basically the star of the team.”

“Really?” You laugh, pressing your thigh against hers. “Would your other teammates agree with that?”

“Ehhh, maybe don’t ask them so you stay all impressed.”

You smile, and suddenly you realize you’ve been smiling all night ever since you started talking to her. And it feels so good to smile with her, it feels so good to be all giddy, and even when Dylan was bothering you it felt good knowing she was right behind you. And it felt even better when you turned around and she was still behind you.

“Can I have your number?” You blurt out.

“Course, baby.”

You hand her your phone, feeling like a damn middle schooler with a raging crush, and she hands you hers.

You make your contact name Jersey Stealer and she laughs when she sees it, and that sound might be your favorite thing about her- second only to her abs.

You can feel the night coming to the end, but it’s a good end, a comfortable one, and there’s definitely doors unopened and words unsaid. It feels like a really sweet beginning to something really beautiful.

You check your phone, smiling at the contact name of Hockey Star and seeing the time is 11:58.

“My friends are waiting for me,” you say, almost with a grimace. The night is coming to an end but you still don’t want it to end. And like clockwork, you watch as Jackie and Tyla walk out of the party arm in arm- sneaking subtle glances all the way to the end of the driveway, eventually disappearing out of sight behind a tree.

“Oh,” she says. “No problem.”

She sounds disappointed. It makes your stomach twist yet again, to know she doesn’t want this to end as much as you do.

You both stand up and walk to the edge of the porch, down the steps and onto the concrete walkway to the driveway. Somewhere along the way, your hand had slipped into yours.

You stop where concrete meets driveway, turning around to face her. She tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to the feeling of her skin on yours. It feels like an electric rush, like an addictive high.

“I’m really glad I give you a concussion.”

You laugh. “I’m glad you didn’t either.”

She looks from your lips back to your eyes, and you’re suddenly reminded that, yes, kissing exists- and you suddenly want to kiss her. Badly.

Fuck.

“Okay, well, I’ll let you go.”

You softly place your hand on her face. You lean forward, placing your lips in a grey area between her cheek and her lips.

“Goodnight, Caroline,” you whisper, an inch away from her skin.

Suddenly she surges forward, lips fully pressing against yours, hand on your waist, and God does the feeling of her lips on yours feel so good, so right.

Oh, God. She’s succeeded in killing you, you think to yourself- everything fading out for a moment before it all comes rushing back in. The sounds of the party, the chill of the nighttime air, and the sweet sweet feeling of Caroline’s lips on yours.

You don’t think your lips will ever recover from this feeling, from the weight of her lips on yours- you’ll always be chasing this feeling, this moment.

Tyla’s words flash in your mind. You revel in this moment for a heartbeat longer until, just as quick as she kissed you, you pull back.

“Didn’t know you were the type to kiss girls on the first date, Harvey. How scandalous.”

She seems disappointed you pulled away. You can see it in her pretty blue eyes- it makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.

“Are you really just any girl?”

“Nope,” you smile, silently thanking Tyla and every star in the sky- you can see it in her eyes, the way she wants to kiss you senseless, and if the game didn’t feel so good you would have let her.

And the way she’s looking at you, slightly blown away, completely in awe, lips parted but curling into a smile- it gives you an addictive rush.

“Text me when you want your jersey back.”

You take a step back, softly prying her hand off of your waist, but holding onto it for a moment.

“Oh, no, you can wear that to my next game.”

“Really?” You smile, fingertips grazing the back of her knuckles as she tries to hold onto you, but you eventually let go. “You’ll save me a good seat?”

“The best seat,” she corrects. “For the best girl.”

This time, you don’t bother to try and hide the way she makes you feel. You clench your thighs together and let your tongue dart out to slightly lick your lips.

“I’ll be there. You better win, though.” You turn around, then look over your shoulder to see her eyes fall down to your ass.

“With a pretty good luck charm like you? I’ll probably score the winning goal.”

“Bye, Caroline,” you say over your shoulder, smiling so brightly you’re sure you look all lovesick. You can’t care, it’s just how you feel for her. Maybe you should be embarrassed, the way she makes you feel kinda like silly putty in her hands, but it feels so good. So right.

“Bye, Y/N.” Her voice is breathy.

And when you check your phone, you see it’s after midnight. So much for Tyla’s advice.

But, you think to yourself, shoes clicking on concrete and KK’s gaze on your back, you kissed her after midnight- maybe all the good things just happen after midnight.

—-

laila when kk hit her for saying the taking girls down on and off the ice thing: 😞😞😞💔💔💔💔💔

y/n also being happy that she left kk AFTER midnight bc she doesn’t just want her she actually likes her

jackie and tyla wingwoman supremes i love them sm

dylan you are annoying i wish you suffering

#caroline harvey #caroline harvey x reader #kk harvey #kk harvey x reader #ncaa hockey x reader

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 2 years

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Tangerine headcanons/ imagines

tangerine x female reader

tw: none! just cute stuff that makes us sad

okay so I love analysing people and ive been in love with him since march/april, so this was a piece of cake- also im obsessive and lonely so was super easy lmfao

these are just things that I think (kinda self indulgent) but if you disagree that’s fine too

princess treatment- he’d treat you like royalty

huge softie at heart

love language wise:

physical touch- I feel like he’s quite handsy, he always has to be touching some part of you

acts of service- he’d always be willing to help you, does things for you. makes you snacks and drinks throughout the day- like if you’re busy, he’d pop in and give you a tray of stuff you may need

quality time- he’d value the time you spent together, even if you weren’t doing an activity together (both in the same space, doing your own things) he’d designate certain days for just you

gift giving- he’d spoil you like crazy, he’d remember certain little things about you and get you a thoughtful gift based off that (like if you mentioned something you wanted to try for just one second midway in a conversation you had months ago, he’d remember it)

words of affirmation- he’d call you tonnes of pet names, I feel like he’d say ‘my’ in front of it to make it more special. he’d tell you he loves you, how special you are and how much he adores you etc

----

hates everyone but you vibes- he’s standoffish to everyone, but when it comes to you he’s the complete opposite; he speaks very soft and kind towards you

he treats you like the most valuable thing on earth

very patient with you

protector x protected energy- he just always wants you safe

nose and forehead kisses

lots of thumb stroking on your cheeks

lots of intense eye contact- he admires your eyes

feel like he’s a hip and thigh kinda man

I feel like you’d be very close to Lemon, and sometimes it’ll wind him up. Lemon would tell you embarrassing stories about Tan- you’d love it while he’d hate it

I get ride or die vibes- kinda like romeo and juliet, just minus all the death

he secretly loves your chick flicks, he pretends he hates them but watches them with you every time

he also pretends he hates when you call him sweet things but he definitely looks away to smile

he’s very slow to warm up, takes a bit of time to crack him open. on the outside he’s a doberman but on inside he’s like a ragdoll

gets a bit possessive, not in a scary way- but I do think that sometimes it could be

feel like he’s the kind that will literally worship you

you clean his cuts and wounds after missions

he runs warm but you run quite cold, so he’s always trying to warm you up

I feel like you’re the first person he’s actually loved romantically

drinks black coffee and ofc tea

definitely a whisky drinker, he loves a good whisky by the fire

I feel like he’s very clean, likes to keep everything organised. maybe a bit of a perfectionist

always smells good

very romantic and extremely charismatic- a natural charmer. funny and lots of inside jokes

he’s a great caretaker- looks after you really well. if you’re ill he’d be with you at all times, not caring if he got sick too. and when it’s your time of the month he’d get you hot water bottles and you’d get lots of back rubs etc

he loves it when you use your fingers to trace over his tattoos, same goes for his chest hair too

also loves when your stroke through his hair

he gets really irritated in hot temperatures- and starts swearing a lot more

I feel like he’s kind of set in his ways about things/ he knows what he likes, and that you help open his mind about trying and doing new things. you help keep things fresh and exciting

some reason I feel like you’d have daddy issues idk why, (sorry if you do, also sorry if you don’t lmao)

he might follow you like a lost puppy, he’d literally do anything you say

you’d be best friends as well as a couple

he’s very reliable and would drop anything for you

if you needed to rant or vent, he’d be there lending you his ear. he’d be an incredible listener

very attentive

feel like he’s a fast driver, but never when you’re in the car

if someone flirts with you or someone was mean to you at work he’d say “where are they? I will fuckin kill em”

private but not secret relationship

definitely a homebody

whenever he goes past the florists or to the shop, he’d always bring some flowers back for you (more often than not- it’ll your favourite type of flower)

leaves you sweet notes around the house

that’s it for now, hope you liked

#bullet train #tangerine #tangerine bullet train #bullet train fanfic #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine fanfiction #aaron taylor johnson #imagines #tangerine headcanon #tangerine imagine

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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months

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your snipers are GOOD STUFF and i’m just here for how he would work (nsfw wise) with a s/o who is INCREDIBLY down to be bullied and hunted for sport and will frolic around like a deer giggling the whole time like he’s a fairy tale prince and not a gangly string bean who is filled with nothing but spite and predatory lust

I had contemplated my regular format but I think straight up fanfiction better fits this.

Sniper X Prey Reader: Primitive Instinct (NSFW)

Warning: Prey/predator shit idk what the kink is called, breeding kink

Mr. Mundy hated the feeling of primal lust when other things mattered more. He often felt broken, and inherently wrong to desire the warmth of his body intertwined with someone else’s when he should have been focusing on something else. By nature he was a hunter. Focus and mental clarity even in the darkest of hours was most important when that rifle was up to his face. He could be sad and lonely for only just a moment. Just a second in eternity. But never more than that.

For if he delayed more, he wouldn’t be focusing hard enough. All of his senses alert to every single thing imaginable. An assassin could not afford one little slip up. Less the outcome would be self explanatory.

Still, he found himself constantly distracted tonight. In the highest point of Tuefort he stood atop a water tower’s catwalks in pitch black darkness. In front of him was the distant, dim lights of the enemy BLU base. A set of ugly buildings that looked more like a factory than anything else. His night vision scope was a smuggled artifact from his hometown. It worked flawlessly despite the long trip to join Team Fortress several years ago. The cold air bit at his skin but he remained stiffly in place like an unmoving stone. Boldly standing out in the open with no regard for his own safety. He knew the difficult position he was in would make it nearly impossible to get a clear shot at him. With multiple cardboard boxes off to both his sides, it obstructed angles.

Sniper shut his eyes. His lungs took in maximum air and exhaled carbon dioxide. He counted each second, carefully controlling his own breath.

One, two, three, four…

The old assassin heard a sound off in the distance just to the right of him. As he suspected, his theory about using this BLU water tower as a nest was validated. He turned the rifle towards the source and sure enough he caught the silhouette of an intruder rummaging through the bushes.

One, two, three, four…

His previous thoughts were proven to be more of an intruder than the unlucky person he was scoping at. For a second, Sniper unwillingly diverted his attention as those lustful desires crossed his thoughts again. He swore he saw the image of a beautiful, smooth, naked body of a woman flash in his mind as quickly as the blinking of an eye. His breathing immediately became muddled again. He could even hear his own heart rate skyrocket. All it took was one little slip up. An annoying intrusive thought.

Sniper had lost location of the person’s head through the dense foliage. They disappeared behind the bramble, and Sniper had to suppress the sudden unyielding rage shoot through his bloodstream. Every bone in his body wanted to throw his damn sniper rifle across the desert and see it break into multiple pieces below.

“Bugger me!” He cursed quietly. Slamming his fist on the box he was resting his rifle on. Somehow, he didn’t even care if an apposing sniper heard him. The faster he died, the better.

Sniper held his fist, which was now wracked with pieces of wood. He was lucky to be wearing gloves. The wood didn’t pierce his skin at all. Still, now he had to growl and grumble while he pathetically pulled the shards of dangerous chips out of his left hand. If the others saw him — especially scout — they’d undoubtedly tear him a new one that he’d forever internalize until his dying days.

An assassin can’t fucking afford to miss.

His moment of self loathing was interrupted by the creak of the ladder below the catwalks. It was subtle, and barely audible. Like a wild cat’s tiptoeing through the forest. Sniper stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes slowly rolled to the source. Fearlessly, he put his hands back on his gun and waited. If he made any sudden movements toward his SMG on the floor next to him then he’d surely alert the stranger. The catwalks were sensitive with age in certain places and disregarded stealth.

The person on the ladder paused when Sniper halted his complaining. Which showed him that they were listening to him too. It didn’t quite strike him as odd, but what did indeed baffle him was then the sudden sprint up the ladder. As if the person wanted to be heard.

The scruffy man gritted his teeth. A little bit offended that somebody — even if it was a teammate — which let’s be honest that’s the only reasonable explanation for it — would approach him so casually like he wasn’t a huge threat. It messed with his ego and made him want to shoot the person regardless of who they were.

“Sniper?” A voice asked quietly. It was you, of course. The new mercenary. The youngest out of all of them. A thorn in everybody’s side with your naive youth. Who the hell in their right mind would hire such a young adult for this profession?

The older man tried shutting his eyes and focusing his breathing again. Blocking out any other annoying stimulus that distracted him. (You were the annoying stimulus.) He figured you were just up here thinking he’d be a willing ear and whatnot. As if he’d ever do something like that.

“Sniper!” You whispered a bit louder.

Sniper nearly found it within himself to haul his gun as promised earlier. He gripped his rifle like he was choking somebody. “God! What?!” He asked louder than he wanted to.

You glared at him. The lack of amusement in your eyes was noted and rudely ignored. Sniper shrugged his shoulders in a very, very pressuring gesture to get on with it. You didn’t even know how he had the patience for hunting animals.

“The others wanna know if you want some coffee.” You say. Your mouth curling into what would be a snarl if you hadn’t somewhat mastered the art of controlling yourself near these mercs.

“Who the bloody hell asks their colleague if they want coffee at three in the fuckin’ morning?!” Sniper’s voice pitched high in genuine concern. Like he had somehow realized he was answering to the most stupidest person imaginable.

Sniper’s condescending words didn’t sway you. You were too tired to react anyway. “By the way, was that you pointing your gun at me?” You asked curiously.

He paused, and that’s how you knew you struck a cord. The revelation couldn’t help but peak your interest. The way he tensed up and threatened to grip the edges of the box to the point of breaking the entire thing. He was SURE he was incapable of being seen. Your words had completely shattered what was left of his fragile self esteem. If anything there at all at this point. It was entertaining to see this supposedly self proclaimed unemotional assassin break like a twig. You titled your head and the side of your lip almost twitched into a smile.

“You think this is funny, don’t you?” He asked bitterly. Without any second hesitation or regard, he whipped out his kukri from underneath the boxes and started marching toward you. To say you were a bit stressed was an understatement.

Sniper shoved you backwards into the wall and dug the blade into the planks near your face. It hit the wood with an unpleasant noise that sounded like it had cut through flesh. It made a chill go up your spine. Nonetheless, you braved the sudden aggression. These types of crazy reactions were just common day-to-day events. You turnt your nose away from him as he got close to your face and breathed down your neck. It was heavy and quick. Like he was inches away from eating you. His chest pressed up against yours. You couldn’t tell if this was meant to be personal or not. But it felt… disgustingly delightful. Like you were eating candy.

It felt like you were being eyed by a hungry bear that wanted to tear into you and leave nothing behind. To drop the blade and ravish your delicious body. Sniper all the meanwhile could not even identify his own body’s mistake for adrenaline being arousal. A large, blunt object pressed against your inner thigh when he pressed down harder. His veins visible from the grip on his blade. You realized all the blood flowed to his companion. A thick, wet member prodding at you and quietly pleading for relief.

“What did I tell you? I’m a hired gunman. I’m not some friend of yours, and i’m not somebody who’s gonna joke with you. Gotcha?” You could hear him bombarding you but the butterflies in your stomach spoke of delightful things.

You wanted to mate with this hungry animal, until his balls were completely empty and his insatiable appetite was temporarily satisfied. You slipped under him and tore away easier than expected. Dodging an attempt on your head, you hopped up onto the boxes and shuffled as he tried slashing at your ankles. A sickly mischievous smile crossed your face, as for what seemed like forever, you dodged his countless attempts on your life. Jumping on and off the box, and causing him to run in circles around the tower. Sniper was beginning to feel like he was on some sort of babysitting duty. He was also getting angrier.

As fast as you came in, you booked it down to the ladder and slid down it. Sniper being less athletic however, had to hurry down the steps one by one. All the meanwhile complaining “Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!”

His anger was comedic in every way possible. You ducked underneath the brambles and patiently awaited the handsome man’s arrival. You decided to not let yourself suffer any longer. Maybe him by extension as well. Those primitive urges were something that your ancestors developed as a beautiful way to bond. In what world would you simply throw away the opportunity? As Sniper reached the bottom of the water tower, you half-assed an escape attempt but as expected he jumped on you before you could even crawl through the other side of the bush. You had no idea that toothpick of a man would hurt so much. Dead god.

“Gotcha!” He proclaimed. pinning you on your belly with his entire weight. He sat on your legs. Like a cat whose paw was on a mouse’s tail. You wondered if it was possible he’d break said legs.

He was proud of his catch, but you had no heart to tell him you gave yourself deliberately. That penetrating blunt organ was all you fixated on right now. It was all you wanted. The idea of that divine organ crushing your insides sounded like heaven. The gentle breeze of his warm breath met your ears and neck again. You couldn’t help but lift your face up to meet it. Sniper found himself meeting his lips to your neck too.

The tension broke. The two of you had clearly felt the same way. Although Sniper tried his hardest to hide his beastly instincts, nature always won in the end. The moment his lips nibbled your neck is the moment that you both individually consented. A grumble escaped your throat and it sounded like you were pleased. Which in turn pleased Sniper.

Lust is such a complicated thing. Anger and annoyance can lead to it if you go down the right path. The older man began to court you. Prodding his member against your flank to offer you a good time. He shifted your legs up and got you into a mating press. Underneath those layers you could feel him dripping with anticipation.

To test the waters he forwardly thrusted up against your clothed body. Earning another blissful sound from you. Though sniper was dead silent, his rugged breathing spoke volumes. He aimlessly humped you like a horny dog and forgot his own self control. Wildly slapping his concealed dick against your pants.

“Sniper—“ You tried to get his attention. Realizing this was counterproductive without bare skin visible.

He continued slapping against you recklessly. He couldn’t hear you, and frankly you couldn’t blame him. Sniper was determined to breed you. He was surging with hormones and ready to pump you full of his children no matter the cost. He sounded like a growling werewolf the way he began expressing his pleasure. His silence leaving him. The scruffy haired man bit down hard on the back of your neck to hold you in place. The extra skin there made it so that you weren’t hurt. Just scruffed like a cat.

You were stuck there for hours. A large man using you as his sextoy. Not even once did he slow his pace. Not even after multiple times cumming. It was only when the sun came up did he even consider.

What a wonderful thing that the gift of procreation is.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #medic x reader #spy x reader #demoman x reader #tf2 x reader #heavy x reader #sniper x reader #tf2 x you #it’s fucking 4 AM and i need to sleep

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izuhan · 2 years

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coming home exhausted︱stray kids (maknae line)

pairing: boyfried!skz x gn!reader ︱ genre: fluff, comfort slight hurt ︱warning: a little suggestive, grammar mistakes, not proofread, FELIXDFJIGEFJKDGFJKG

a/n: idk if i made these long or what but it might not be like the hyung line part but i hope you still enjoy this! i might have not been possessed by whatever that was at that time, I tried my best hhehe

⸝⸝han♡ᵎ

— no matter what anyone says about it, (affectionately) annoying you with pictures of him whining with text below, middle, or above will be a sure tactic to put you off work and head home early.

— with the immense amount of “I'M LONELY COME HOME” texts, voice messages, and annoyingly adorable photos do concern others, hell, even him. after sending them with a huff, cheeks puffing cutely in his hoodie—different scenarios come and bother his mind.

— whether that might be you scolding him to prohibiting stuff to happen he will space out with a blush-- not hearing the door clicking open, bags on the floor making a thud, keys clashing against one another, and a han spacing out, and you, slumping against him.

— he has this adorable habit of spacing out and blocking the world but himself. you love it because you could do almost everything as you let him stare at the ceiling or you, we are talking about wide-eyed han, face blank and almost like a cat preparing for an attack and han? he just jolts, the first resort either to hug you and tell you about his wild thoughts, or run to you and hug you while he tells you about his wild thoughts. (mostly animal wild thoughts, yes, of course.)

— however, without a glimpse of his thoughts being of you, you sneak and flopped atop of him. you melt, he's warm, you’re home, you think to yourself. you smile and softly sigh, no energy to say anything other than a sweet “hi ji,”

— seungmin once said “y/n’s voice he can hear, ours vanish.” it’s true. your voice will break through the trains of his thoughts. he practiced not to react violently, and he’s glad he did.

— his heart would leap a mile, his brain processing the sight of your eyes gently shut, your arms lying beside him, and your body close to his. every beat of his heart tells him to haul closer, or at least press a little harder by embracing you gently, eyes closing shut with the biggest smile he’d ever made today.

— han would feel his heart ache when he pulled your face even closer to his as you do the same, smile crumbling away as tears race down your cheeks. his own producing tears at the corner of his eyes, he sat up suddenly, the couch didn’t have enough space for the both of you and the last thing han wanted at this moment was to hurt you even one bit.

— so he would carry you again, wrap your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist. you would repeatedly slur “i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you,” on the way, he would burst into a fit of beautiful laughter, carefully taking care of your clothes, kissing your temple and your hair, arms up, the shirt he's wearing slipping off his body.

— “it got warm with my temperature, that would calm you right?” another kiss on your arm, raising up and down as the shirt settles, “i love you,”

“not the right answer, baby. geez, they did a number on you huh?” and another set of kissing on your tears-stained cheeks, and eyes. “i'm not liking how they're treating you there,”

“i can manage, there's still a little left to work on, but i can manage,”

“can't convince me, you sound like a broken record. i hate it.”

— han would shut you up with more kisses and would let you do anything to him in that state of yours. let you pinch and play with his cheeks until it feels numb, play with his hair until sleep hits you while he hums to the tracks he’s working on, hitting two birds with one stone. you lay flat on his chest or he lay flat on your chest, or on your side, watching over his baby either falling asleep or enjoying his presence. after all, you deserve it-- everything nice and lovely.

⸝⸝felix♡ᵎ

— you know he plays games right after he’s done with work and you’re still not home, though you know he times his games to be sure he’s done by the time you arrive to enjoy the luxury of the night. and so, he wouldn’t notice your late text of overtime and coming home late, right? No.

— he loves you, he has said that multiple times you need an earful of his love confession, and you two would cry over it after one is uncertain of another’s love and affection.

— but today, you wish he wouldn’t love you as much because knowing your lover and how he could be upset with a slight change of plans you two agreed upon--coming home late, expecting him to be in his room playing computer games could be a relief.

— but there he was, arms crossed, a look which translates to trouble. “i saw your messages. you took another co-worker’s shift, and the reason was that you’re free and reliable?” he’s sitting on the sofa, the frown on his face could never be good to be something different.

— neither of you is fond of fighting, either resolve it as quickly as you could or sleep next to each other with a heart shattered and hollow. “you’ve been doing too much already, haven't you noticed? you don't talk to anyone anymore.”

— felix would never be afraid of talking ill to the world you both live in if it were to be treating you like shit for these past few weeks. “even i don’t get to hear your voice often, all you do is work,” uncontrollably, he puffs his cheeks a bit, a childish act he and han shares.

— and you laugh, raw and hot tears as your breath hitch for a moment and fall on your knees. you feel sorry for him, and for yourself. you don’t even have anything to prove yet here you are, so miserable and pathetic and so exhausted troubling your only escape from reality. you simply couldn’t notice felix holding you as you fell.

— “s-sorry lix, forgive me—” but because he is your escape and he’s much more aware of it than you are, he cries with you. truly, what you’ve heard about humans crying easily being disguised as angels can apply to him; how can he be so precious?

— and despite his being upset he carries you to bed with him, hovering on your body seeking his warmth and weight which he doesn’t give yet. what he gives is a sight of his many ways of conveying his love, “drink up first bub, then let's cuddle.”

— you want to break into tears again, waste the water he put in the effort to deliver to you just so your waterworks breaks down because you love him too much and he loves you too. “such a crybaby, I'll lock you up with me for a while yeah? i can’t let you beat yourself up like this, bub.” you gulped everything, smiling and bopping his nose. “sounds scary, lixie.” he pouts, kissing your lips and guiding your head back to the pillows, caressing your head as he smiles between the kiss.

— “maybe it is, but i want you to be healthy and happy, if you're unable to do so by yourself, let me have this opportunity and make you achieve those in my ways.” he kisses you again, pressing his weight against yours, studying your many expressions before settling down beside you, holding you dearly.

— and of course, you would let him, why wouldn’t you?

⸝⸝seungmin♡ᵎ

— coming home for seungmin is a reward and an end-of-the-day kind of thing where nights or midnights could be in between memorable and barely memorable, or a blur. he does his usual routine while you do yours. no one interrupts anyone, all could be heard were the sounds of the water running, bottles opening, grunts, groans, and subtle satisfied moans after a long day-- before a silence would ensue once both are done and gazes would meet, twin hearts calm before starting beating rapidly.

— you could say he prefers silent nights, away from the noise of the world, and create one with you.

— as much as he likes silence when the home is without you, he can't meet your gaze and race to the bed, or lovingly smile and hold your hand.

— and on those nights he felt alone, he dwells on things he should do before bed while you expect him to sleep before you. how dare you think of that?

— but of course, that was only his mind speaking to him before he would grab his journal, writing ‘again, my love is late. i await for y/n’s gaze and presence yet again. i feel greedy. this is the worst.’

— and his manifestation of your arrival would soon come through when you're summoned right in front of him.

— his hands tremble at the sight of his lover, who always greets him with a smile, reaching for his hand—you look awful as ever. swollen eyes accompanied by darkened eye bags, lips trembling, and nose runny and red. “y/n—”

— it will always be a shock to see you in such an exhausted state and it drives him crazy to think you’ll let yourself descend like this. it’s immoderate, but he did stay calm and collected to avoid panicking you furthermore.

— seungmin would ease you down with his voice and his embrace, purposely making you fall in his arms and kissing your forehead gently. he would carry you to the bedroom now that your gazes have met, and rather than hearing your apology, he focuses on how you’re breathing.

— “you can’t go anywhere tomorrow, you need to stay here and rest,” and you wouldn’t protest his idea because you know better than do that since he will give you a reason to stay and unable to go anywhere other than stay in his arms.

— you would lace your fingers together, taking your time drinking in yourself some of seungmin’s cute expressions because he’s remaining still, not wanting to disturb what you’re doing as he flutters himself. it tugs at his heart violently, hopeless at how lovely you look whilst exhausted, “thank you for taking care of me, i love you,” weakly, you would catch his lips on yours, and almost immediately, though still reminding himself you’re exhausted, he would give in, taking the lead as he puts you on his clothes.

— you love to giggle after kisses, and he loves every second of it he does it himself as well. “i love you too,” and a kiss would end your night, recharged by seungmin’s everlasting love.

⸝⸝i.n♡ᵎ

— i.n’s youth-ness comes out when it comes to you. his friends tease him about wanting to go home with you when there’s always a chance to like some high school romance. nevertheless, he doesn’t care.

— he loves waiting for you because he knows you’ll hurry up and meet him where you agreed upon. above all else, your figure getting closer to him while you wave and call for him was always adorable it makes his heart warmer than on summer nights.

— there is an ulterior motive for sometimes spotting a hotel or a spontaneous trip to a hot spring or a shopping spree or simply stopping at some shop to buy anything. always and always, when you’re done with your work and stick to his side to go home, he would always and always, wants to spend those moments filled with nothing but the loveliness of your relationship, if that makes sense. he wants to be able to see sides of you he hasn’t seen before and show you the sides of him he’s ready to show. he wants to be able to hold hands freely, steal kisses till you’re flustered and red, until you’ve reach home.

— there are times you were late, but no worries, you still arrive though slightly more tired and his plan to walk around a park and swing would vanish for another night.

— tonight was quite the same, though a bit different-- you arrived 4 hours late.

— obviously, he was a bit upset but worry overshadowed everything once he has you in his arms then to a cab, then to your shared apartment.

— all happened too fast because he saw your face fighting the urge to cry.

— and he was right... and still upset.

— you would not cry to him. you ate and left to shower. and he hates it. how you’re avoiding him just because you could lash out and say things you don’t mean.

— “y/n, let’s take a bath together.” he doesn’t mind whether your face twists in confusion or how your exhausted face heats up to a beet-red color, he didn’t mind your protest when he carried you, pressing your head close to his heart. “let me take care of you, okay?” you wouldn’t have the heart to counter him, just no.

— the bath would be prepared at the right temperature in silence and a bit of conversation to conversation only to fall in silence once more. he would attempt another conversation but stopped midway to splash water on your face.

— “now you can disguise your tears,”

— he would distance himself, creating room for your legs and... for you to come to him. it seems unfair on both ends. you need comfort, yet here he is acting horribly. “i’m not one of them to have you lie to me and pretend you’re alright.”

— yet his plan to have you come to him soon shatters as your tears began to betray you, your eyes set and seeking for him. your hands looking for his in panic. plan butchered, i.n would immediately embrace you in the bathtub, paying no mind to the water out on the floor. “so—sorry...”

— his heart aches, seeing you like this but would make up for it with his body pressing against yours, holding you so dear and close. as you cry nonstop, he would too. apologizing and promising to take care of you and react appropriately next time.

— your heart would soon warm-up against the cold water, and you could sleep in this position you’re in. though you wouldn’t want to, though i.n’s grip on your waist were gentle and loose, you would want to stay awake.

— “is it alright to tell me what happened?” he would ask, feather-light kisses on your shoulders. it continues until almost every part of your body would be covered in his traces, and would still go on in bed, where, again, he wishes for you to stay with him the next day to which, obviously, you agree. you can never say no to him.

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nananarc · 3 months

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Gonna disclose my income as a freelance artist because I feel like it might give some perspective. And mostly bc I'm feeling a bit burnout and I want pity points ok? Lol.

Context 1: For sake of simplicity, all figures are net income (minused all fees, charges, insurance, benefits, etc)

Context 2: I live in a big city in Việt Nam and the cost of living is relatively low. A salary of 1000$/month is considered really good for someone living alone with one pet, no family or children, no debt or other liabilities. Entry level jobs usually start at around 200-300$/month.

Let's start in 2021 because that's when it can be considered when I started doing art professionally.

In 2021 and 2022, I was juggling between art school, a part-time online side gig, building social media for my art, and of course try to get commissions. But coms were few and far between, mainly because I didn't have an online present before and I only hang in relatively small fandoms. So all I earn through side gig and art were only some change, in total avarage to about 40$/ month. Some months made up for no income months.

In 2023, things starts to be a bit better as I get more confident in my skill, but coms are still few and far between and months with no income is still common. Side gig was few and far between too and pay less. Overall I'd say it goes up to about 80$/month.

This year 2024, art school is done, I can finally do art full time. But I was severely burnout because all the accumulated stress since waaaaay before catch up with me and i couldn't cope anymore. I have to spend a lot of time resting instead. Fortunately, I received a decent amount of coms each month, and the new patreon surprisingly got a few supporters (I fully realistically expected it to sit at 0 for at least a year). Overall, I have an 8 hours 4 days work week: 4 hours a day on com and managing social media and other stuff that actually makes money; 4 hours a day on my own projects and personal indulgence that doesn't directly make money. As of now, my income is about 180$/month.

You are probably wondering how the fuck do one live like this in this economy.

It's because my family is middle class and can afford a freeloader like me in their house, receive their pocket money and tuition fee. I'm privileged.

But of course my family isn't rich and if just one catastrophic event happens to us, we'd be in bad shit. I'm constantly in anxiety of money, work, and the future. It doesn't help that I'm late 20s and many people around keep reminding of how I'm not making money yet still leeching off parents. It doesn't help that, for years all i hear about art is it will just lead to failure and no money.

But still, I am thankful of my family for letting me stay here. And all my friends and supporters for giving me money oc lol, but more importantly, believing in me more than I ever do in myself. I read all of your little tags, your keysmash and compliments, and I keep them all dear to my heart, and I went back to them everytime I need motivation. I can't see where my future as an artist will be, but I cling to your support and love as the will to keep going. Thank you all so, so fucking much. I'd have been literally dead in a ditch somewhere without you guys.

Anyway, idk, I've always been adamant about wage transparency (especially in a corporate setting) but I rarely see this in freelance artists. except to flex, to promote the hustle culture, or to sell some courses they made. Most of us don't want/can't subscribe to the grind and have nothing to flex either. All we have is this shit economy. I'd wish we could have been more open about this and many of us wouldn't have to feel so lonely and despair all the time.

#my income isnt exactly secret tho you can see my price list #and my waitlist with com infos #and my patreon income is public #so this is just a confirmation ig lol #also of course #rant #lol #cryptic na posting

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cursedvibes · 10 months

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Idk if I’m the only one who feels a bit sentimental about ch240-243. It’s just got me thinking about how there’s actually someone for everyone. Like you know how people might think they’re weird or they’re being perceived as strange and off-putting by those around them but, in fact, there will ALWAYS be someone who matches your vibe and celebrates your individuality. What a beautiful thing connection is.

I’m not even sure if it’s intended by Gege but the last 7? chapters have been greatly influenced by themes of loneliness and connection and (in my opinion) Takaba and Kenjaku are no exception. Both somewhat lonely in what they do, in what they’re passionate about, both are misunderstood and perceived as “weirdos” by those around them, finding each other and being able to connect through comedy, giving each other what they longed for (Kenny’s “it’s been centuries since my heart danced like this” and Takaba’s “my dream stage… I don’t want this to end”). It’s just… wow?

Also I saw a little analysis about how there are two roles in Japanese comedy-duos, basically one person is telling the jokes and acting weird and the other is acting more serious by fending off the partner’s jokes, so in ch.243 it was Kenny and Takaba, respectively. Takaba’s talent as a comedian shone through as he’s generally more serious and his previous attempts to act as the one who cracks the jokes all the time led him to failure (ch241). But now, thanks to Kenny taking up the “unserious” role he was finally able to finesse his performance. This is such a unique battle out of everything we previously had… “I don’t want this to end” me too Takaba… me too…

P.S. im kinda manifesting that one day you’ll write a fic about these two 🥲 I absolutely adore your works

There's always someone out there who matches you perfectly and it might be the person you least expect, like Japan's worst terrorist or a depressed comedian. Sometimes it also might take you a millennia to find that person, but that makes it all the more worth it when you do.

No but seriously, I totally understand you. It's amazing how Gege managed to build up such a deep connection between Kenjaku and Takaba and thereby not only gave us some much needed further characterization for one of our main villains, but also fleshed out someone who used to be only a comedic side character. Although the fact that Takaba would have more depth was already foreshadowed in his introduction. If anything, him becoming a comedic sidekick was more surprising.

The focus on loneliness, love and being able to connect with other people in the last chapters was very intentional I think and I honestly like how much the approach to these themes differs between Kenjaku and Sukuna. Besides my problems with the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, those topics were brushed on there, but not really explored in depth. Until we got Takaba vs Kenjaku. The main difference here and what allowed us to get a deeper understanding of the themes and how they relates to these two characters is that contrary to Sukuna's fights, Takaba and Kenjaku's fight was more a dialogue where they both discussed their feelings on building connections and became a better person through it. Both of them learned something new (also about themselves) and came out of it as changed people. It's not just one person barraging the other with their issues or slapping their egos around.

Yorozu vs Sukuna is very self-serving. Yorozu is lonely and she thinks having Sukuna by her side will help her, but she is ultimately not interested in really connecting to him, she just projects her own issues onto him. She says herself that having his corpse would be enough. She wants to own him, her attraction to him is because she sees herself in him and her love is a love of herself, there isn't really anything romantic or sexual to it. Similarly, Sukuna has no interest in her either. The fight is only there so he can try out the new CT he just got. Both are essentially in their own world and while it is nice that Yorozu makes a weapon for him, they don't actually connect. Yorozu wants to teach Sukuna her understanding of love, but he already has his own and neither of them budge on their positions or make concessions.

Gojo vs Sukuna is a bit difficult to summarize because it's kinda all over the place and we don't get much from either of them in terms of character development or thoughts in general until the last chapter. Still, it's again someone trying to build a one-sided connection to Sukuna, wanting to teach him love and failing. I would say Gojo is a little more successful than Yorozu because at least Sukuna acknowledges him and says he will remember him. Gojo says he didn't manage to reach Sukuna and teach him "love", but he left an emotional impact. Sukuna changed Gojo to a degree, but only so much as in he killed him and thereby shoved him off the pedestal he put himself on and what kept him from having equal relationships with people. Bit late for that and it won't actually have any long-lasting consequences for Gojo because well he's dead, but it's something. Ultimately, there is no change in Sukuna's character however. There is a physical impact on him from the fight, but not much in terms of emotions. He isn't forced to reconsider any of his positions, he isn't challenged in his character. If anything it only got reinforced because he's confirmed to be "the strongest".

Kashimo vs Sukuna is another instance of someone coming with their issues to Sukuna and pressuring him to fix them. Kashimo wants to build a connection to Sukuna and I think they are actually more genuine with their intentions than Yorozu, but there is still a one-sided connection. Their relationship isn't balanced. Sukuna is supposed to give out wisdom, but Kashimo has nothing to offer him and while it is nice that we got a deeper look into his philosophy, there is nothing he really gained from his interaction with Kashimo. We are learning new things about Sukuna, but he doesn't. I think this will only happen when we get to Yuuji vs Sukuna because Yuuji affects Sukuna on a deeper level than any of the other three. He's the only one that can meaningfully challenge Sukuna because they would finally leave the premise of Sukuna's whole worldview (strength) behind. But we'll see.

Takaba vs Kenjaku is very different. If we were to compare it to the formula of the previous fights, Takaba comes up saying "Let me teach you about love (comedy/fun)" and Kenjaku's response is "Oh I've actually been dying to hear about this. Give me your best shot." Since the start of the Yuki fight Gege has put more emphasis on showing us that Kenjaku is essentially just bored and lonely. They want to connect to people, that is the easiest way to entertain them as well and they don't actually enjoy entertainment without having anyone to share it with, but they and their longstanding goals are what's hindering them. Their plan distanced them from their closest friend and left them quite desperately searching for new companions. Their plan also motivates them to kill Culling Game players, despite them seeing it actually as a waste of potential. That's how they entered the fight. They want to be entertained and they want a new friend. Takaba offers that to them.

I think initially Takaba's offer wasn't entirely sincere, just a ploy to distract them. He might've been already interested in Kenjaku's motivations for causing all this suffering, but he didn't actually expect them to connect so well and so quickly over their shared interest in comedy. First, Takaba gets challenged however. We learn he wants a partner just as much as Kenjaku. He can't enjoy comedy anymore because he needs a partner to succeed in his performance and deep down he is actually just searching for someone who understands him. Due to getting so fixated on performing successfully and pushing himself to lean into types of performances he doesn't actually like that much (playing the funny man), just for the approval of others, he also ended up pushing the people he did perform with away. He couldn't take any criticism and only continued further down the wrong path, leaving him depressed. A less extreme version of how Kenjaku tended to isolate themselves and subconsciously worked against their own interests.

Kenjaku makes him realize what he actually wants, that he has to change himself, his approach to comedy and that he needs to actually try to connect to people and not shy away from it in fear of criticism. This is already different from the previous fights. They both have an investment in the other and want more than simply beating the other person into following their worldview.

Then we get Takaba forcing Kenjaku to reflect on themselves and what they actually want. Despite how persuasive his CT is, Kenjaku's realization that they are having fun in playing around with these silly scenarios and that they for once are actually enjoying the Culling Game for what it is (a chance to meet interesting players, not just a stepping stone for something greater) doesn't seem to be fake. The nature of his CT also makes them realize that if they want to survive they have no choice, but to open themselves up a little bit and cooperate with each other. That's when both of them finally reach their true goal.

They have to work together because that's the only way Takaba can fulfil his wish to perform comedy with a partner, someone he actually connects with and who understands him. It also provides Kenjaku with the friend they have been looking for. Someone equal (as a comedy partner would be, Takaba is able to keep up with their imagination, just how they countered his made-up scenarios earlier), who won't bore them. As Kenjaku said afterwards, they actually had fun, despite the quite mundane scenario. There was cursed energy involved, but what made them actually enjoy the show was the trading of jokes and improvisations they both had to keep up with. It doesn't need some world-shattering CT to entertain Kenjaku, they just previously lacked that connection that would make them appreciate the entertainment they are getting more.

As you said, the positions they take during the show is important here too. They started out with Kenjaku as the straight man and critic and Takaba doing goofy antics as the funny man. Both roles that don't really suit either of them, which is also part of why Takaba never managed to be funny in the past. During the show Takaba is finally able to make his true personality shine and have people understand and like him, despite how he can come off as quite serious. Kenjaku on the other hand was able to be as silly as they want to be. They kept that part of their personality down previously because it would only distract them from their goal and fulfilling their carefully curated plan. We see the evidence at the end of the chapter. As soon as Kenjaku gives into that part of their personality and gets lost in their performance with Takaba, they get taken out and their merger plan is compromised. By indulging in what they actually want, they lost control over their proclaimed long-standing goals (probably, we will see how things develop).

I've seen Kenjaku's "you were super funny" compared to Sukuna's "stand proud", but that doesn't quite work, I think. Sukuna is comparing Jogo to himself and complementing him for how much he managed to measure up, while Kenjaku is commenting on how they enjoyed their fight together or more specifically the comedy show. They reassured Takaba that he is funny, but they don't view it as him having measured up to some standard they set. That is primarily because they could only achieve that goal together. Their comedy relied on a partner and they both only had fun because they had each other. Alone it would be meaningless. The entire point of their stand-up show was that the "fight" wasn't a competition anymore.

Takaba and Kenjaku were able to become partners and form a connection because they were actually able to open up to each other and take the other's personality and character into consideration. That's what differentiates them from the previous three fights and is also why they were successful where Yorozu, Gojo and Kashimo failed.

Kenjaku is open to change and new experiences and after some convincing embraces the connection they are being offered, while Sukuna stays almost completely closed off to others (with the exception of Uraume it seems).

It really was a great fight and it's very unfortunate that it is over and ended the way it did. We'll see how things develop. I would be really interested in seeing if and how Kenjaku's connection to Takaba might influence them in the future and how they will approach their merger plan. Currently it seems like Yuuta kind of ruined all the progress in terms of character development they made thanks to Takaba, but who knows...

If you're interested, I did write a fanfic about the two, where I also vented my feelings about their relationship a bit :)

#ask me about Pinchan and you will get an essay lol #I want to make a post at some point where I go a bit more in depth on similarities between Takaba and Kenjaku #their goals how they try to build connections and how their previous treatment of others prevented them from reaching them #asks #jjk spoilers #kenjaku #takaba fumihiko

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liauditore · 1 year

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For the ship bingo, perhaps ethubs or boatboys?

sorry it took so long to get to this i got so excited someone asked me to talk abt ethubs i went into a coma 😭😭

Ethubs

um uhh umerm ethubs yeah etho and bdubs and last life and mindcrack UHCs and eyah yknow um yeah

you know that one post that's like "inside my head is a five page essay with footnotes and when i speak it's just ouhghh blorbo he is so shaped". that's me with ethubs. not even kidding ethubs is the ship that made me finally "get" shipping in general, mcyt or not. i. words. i care them.

and uh there's. not rlly anything i can say i think that my ethubs moots haven't already said? They've been friends forever, they play off eachother super well, "he loves me", they're both so obsessed and in need of eachother but at the same time would rather eat raw, unpicked cactus than admit that, etc etc they're so unwell

im just gonna skip on over to the song lyrics bit cus i. they make my brain short circuit i cant even sentences.

The scarlet summer is gone and peaceful gray is draping the city Alone, I reach out for you to hold me tight, shivering Always the days spent with you warmed my heart and kept me from freezing Although I knew they were gone forever But in my pain, to me you came like the warmest breeze "On nights so cold I know you need some company."

Though only in lonely and freezing times, we held each other close to keep from feeling hopeless nothings And now again I can see summer fast approaching like a storm that there's no stopping Repeating in a cycle Like our mistakes

My love for you is endless, just like the deepest sea And like the ocean blue your complications speak to me I've come to understand you, your parts and inner workings My sun only in winter Only when I need you or else you won't need me

Leave you in Summer, Yet You're In My Fluffthoughts (Ashe translyrics) (sidenote this might be one of my favourite music videos of all time)

Falling so deeply while clinging to love But even so, I feel my heart and it’s floating up above Your true face, such a passionate one, shows your beauty, coming in a flood True, all of our short-lived youth will someday come to end Ah, even so, in my view, it starts right now, yet again

And every day, I found I prayed for you to be always full of happiness that remains Ah, just like this, please wait right by my side, please stay

Tablet (Will Stetson / sayriris translyrics) (after watching LL the first thing i did was make a MV to this song with LL Bdubs and it was still the most insane thing ive ever done fuelled by pure gargoyle inspiration juice)

I wouldn't say they're ~~Divorced~~ quite yet cus Idk if they were ever really married as much as just plain endlessly obsessed with eachother, which they still are. But they definitely broke up lmao

but yeah uh their chemistry is great. bdubs said it best. they've been thru the trenches together.

Boat Boys

Thankfully much less thoughts about these two or else this post would get way too long lmao. I like them but I'm not too insane about them I guess? Etho's very awkward near people he isn't used to which was fun to watch but made their interactions kind of limited for a lot of DL I feel.

Joel's obsession with Etho is hilarious and seeing Bdubs get jealous of his #1 ethogirl status getting challenged is great fun. He's definitely gone through a bit of an arc from "I KILLED ETHO! I KILLED ETHO!!" in Last Life to "Eefo D:< You're making me nervous, eefo D:<" in Double Life to whatever the cow divorce situation was in Limlife. It seems like Etho's otherworldly status has been nerfed in his head and he's much less intimidated by him, while still admiring him in that 'childhood hero' sorta way.

I think because of that I've always seen them a little bit as more of a mentor/prodigy relationship than anything else? Specifically one that Etho is not even aware he's in. Eitherway, I don't really ship them in the romantic sense 🤷‍♂️ etho's just way too aloof and joel's got too much fangirl energy for it to be anything intimate lol

#asks #ask games #trafficshipping #ethubs #smalletho #i love joel smallishbeans have i mentioned i love joel smallishbeans #but yeah i would have so much more ethubs art if i wasn't such a perfectionist abt them </3 #they drive me insane

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melon-colli · 4 months

Text

Yapping about Inscryption

Just 'finished' (that's in quotes cause I'm not convinced that the games not DONE done) Inscryption and overall I really enjoyed it! I stopped live blogging after a certain point so heres a post to get those out.

!Spoilers for the whole game under the cut!

>I wasn't too sure about the art style change in Act 2 at first, and the fact that I was dog water at the new card mechanics didn't help, but it really grew on me and so did the new gameplay!

>The other scrybes were really interesting, there wasn't a single one I found boring. If I had to rank them I'd go Leshy<Grimora/P03<Magnificus. Grim and P03 only occupy the same space because I love them both equally.

LUKE CARDER INTERLUDE

>He's so quirky! Love him! Seriously though he was an endearing main character, truly creepypasta protag material. Seeing him get shot in the end really caught me off guard, and honestly shook me a little. Idk but why I didn't expect him to die, especially like that. Expected like a computer monster birthed from the old disk to get him, not for the GameFuna rep to cap him in the face. Had my chest tight for a second. Anyways rip bro, raising my mantis god to the sky.

>As for Act 3, I liked it! P03 is such a delightful dickhead, who I just know would be so annoying about Pokemon natures. Botopia was less immersive than Leshy's campaign, and I like what that says about P03's character, who cares way more about gameplay. This chapter's talking cards have my heart. Lonely Wizard specifically, but Angler was nice for the 5 minutes I knew him. (I traded him for another card specifically because he said 'choose me'. Sorry man I thought you had a plan)

>Obligatory Goobert Mention. Great guy, glad his pain was lessened by the tubes. Idk why you still want to go back to Magnificus, but I wont tell you what to do.

>The Uber bot bosses were still pretty interesting for a bot who supposedly doesn't care much abt crafting characters. I made my own special hell for the Make-your-own boss. Where for every dead card, another is drawn. P03 tried to stop me multiple times, but I was determined. For phase two I just chose leap bots for every dead card. Silly boss. Golly was also a sweetheart, loved the mole. As for the scribe Uberbot, the file deletion threat didn't get me nearly as bad since I came off of Kinitopet and knew the game couldn't actually do something like that and be on steam, but it still had me a little nervous lol (cause like what if it did?).

I got weirdly giddy at the prospect of finding the pelt man again. Idk why because I despised him in Act 1, Got a few pelts but never actually found him. Got scammed at the mart cause I thought buying the pelt would make him show up lol.

>Falling into the factory and seeing the 3 scribes just standing there scared me a little, thought they were gonna jump me.

>After that part, going back to P03 knowing what's going to happen, I felt a bit bad. At first. Sure P03's a smug jerk, but it just wanted to be free right? The walk back when it's reminiscing about the game amped this feeling up, but I love that the game yanked the rug from under me and went 'yeah no this puter just sucks' once it starts gloating. Lol. lmao. Also I didn't expect Leshy to just rip its head off wtf bro.

>Saying goodbye to everyone at the end was sad. Having one last game with the Scrybes was so bittersweet. Grimora's game was interesting, and its a crime we didn't have time for a boss battle. Leshy. Leshy I love you so much. I like that Magnificus wasn't going gentle into that good night at first, but his insistence to keep going lost him the chance to shake our hand. I was never super into his play style, but his game was really cool looking, even if im not super into that stuff. (I know the arm thing had something to do with Yugi-oh but I know nothing abt it sorry).

>The lead up to unzipping the Old Code was done so well. Grimora may have nuked the game to get rid of it, but Luke's curiosity still doomed him in the end. The totem lady's last words before we found it were quite unsettling. I don't know what was on that zip, but whatever it was clearly messed Luke up.

>I loved the ending of the game. Already talked about it in the Luke section, but it was so abrupt and final. Idk what I expected but I knew it was over when Luke opened the door for the Funa rep. Rip.

Overall, 10/10 game. There's still something called Kaycees mod for me to do, but all in all I really enjoyed it!

#yapping abt thing #inscryption

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cannibalisticskittles · 8 months

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While I could work with the mission triggering at one heart (painful but narratively good in a way I guess? English is not my first language) I feel like the mission masterclass should start at 4 hearts at least.

That is when his daily dialogue can be "you've proven to me your diligence and worth, and so I have decided to teach you my ability to punch people into space. Yes… just keep being a good friend to me, and soon, very, very soon, I will teach you the space punch!"

Why is he trying to teach you that at one heart?

no, yeah, i totally get what you’re saying. if he starts making comments about wanting to teach you to space punch at 4 hearts, then the mission where he tries to teach you to space punch shouldn’t happen before that point.

given the option between having the mission where he tells you you're his only friend trigger at one heart (i weep), and having it trigger at, y’know, a time that makes sense with his other quest + with his dialogue (because seriously, the fact that he seemingly references the mirror quest in masterclass even though i got masterclass like four weeks before the mirror quest is ridiculous. it definitely feels like the quests were designed to unlock in the opposite order)... i would choose the latter. heartbreaking as it is (tho also satisfying, as you've said) to have him consider you a friend so easily, it just… clashes right now.

i wonder if it’d be better if he’d had a second quest. like, maybe if masterclass was split up – the ‘first friend’ bit and the ‘space punch training’ bit happening in different quests. have a short little quest trigger at one heart where he muses that you're doing a lot of Friend Stuff so… maybe you're friends? and he should return the favor? and he, idk, drags you with him to go fight monsters. or makes you fight them so he can critique your form (and then finish them off w/ a single punch, naturally). maybe it unlocks the ability to have play dates with him at that point, earlier than any other character, because he's decided that you're friends now. so, naturally, he will allow you to bask in his presence more easily. or, maybe he doesn't make a decision abt whether you're friends and it's framed more like a quid pro quo; you've done things for him, so he'll help you out by showing you how to be a little less useless in a fight, lmao. and then the space punch stuff happens after the mirror quest, after reaching at least four hearts, bc now he knows you're friends and will bestow upon you the honor of the space punch.

idk! just… something to balance out the fact that This Man Is Lonely And Friendless As Hell while also not conflicting w/ his dialogue and other quest. splitting up quests like that might not be as narratively satisfying (having him super casually tell you you're his first friend and not getting time to process that because he's more excited about teaching you to space punch was a bit of a gut-punch lmao) but i’m not a dev, that's something they should've sorted out in a satisfying way, but. didn't.

point is: u right.

#mtas pen #mtas #anon #for my fic i'm referencing the events of masterclass as though they happened AFTER the mirror quest and AFTER the builder bonds w/ pen more #bc it Just Makes More Sense that way.

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faebriel · 1 year

Note

howl’s moving castle but rainduo (platonic ofc)

CRACKS MY KNUCKLES. hmc is such a Classic nonnie so i had to do a bit of thinking to get it right (well.... to get it right in my head. but i feel everyone here is familiar enough with my particular kind of rainduoisms by now) but i think the outcome is a fun one :] i'm just gonna put my thoughts into bullet points

now originally i wasn't sure who should be who (oh my little bottle blonde anarchist......) but i did decide to put wil in a howl ish role and niki in a sophie ish role on the basis of how hard howl weaves narratives around himself and how hard sophie does not GAF. that element of them stood out so much that i was like okay cool that's how we'll do it

so niki is doing something semi unfortunate with her life. NOT baking that's for sure. holding onto an empty shop for a long-gone (not that she admits that bit to herself) old friend, and she's quite lonely. and then after crossing paths briefly with the local dipshit wizard she gets cursed by a snooty ass witch of the waste (idk who this would be.... open to suggestions i suppose)

and wilbur is the least competent wizard ever :] why bother to stay in wizard school when you could mix your own potions and refuse any and all help out of pride and trade your heart away to a fire demon for some companionship?

(i'm taking this as another opportunity to spruik albatross wilbur btw i know the wings aren't as striking as sleek crow-black but - )

the fire demon in question is fundy, who sort of came into existence as a being with a personality and such after falling from the sky and receiving wilbur's heart. wilbur smothers him too much. there's not many other people he keeps around to smother. fundy wants out honestly

(oh and it's not super relevant but i think tommy is markl hehe)

so niki marches off to track down the wizard who she overheard the witch mentioned and... starts baking in his kitchen. okay a rainduo thing is being almost too familiar with each other let's be honest. but yes i think they latch onto each other quite quickly. niki is at first just looking to have her curse cured but being old and hanging out in the house with people who actually seem to give a shit about her is freeing in a way, no more getting tangled up in the politics of her small town as it lunges towards involvement in the war, etc. wilbur thinks she's fascinating.

as for the broader "what's happening in the world" perspective i was thinking it was something along the lines of the antarctic empire being at war with another power, drawing all of these small towns and microcountries along with it.... wilbur is supposed to go home to his family but he doesn't want to because he's afraid of facing the trail of small, easily destroyed countries left in his wake, he doesn't want to deal with phil's questions or the scrutiny that he expects from phil. instead, he tries to sabotage the war effort on his own from the frontline

so he keeps receiving letters from phil, but he can't bear to face him. solution? uh.... get niki to go lol. it's even on the grounds of a small country wilbur once ruled (niki had to squeeze this information out of him like a sponge, and she only heard an inkling of it thanks to fundy), now called manberg, which ceded to the empire in the war.............

surprise! it was actually schlatt trying to pull Some Bullshit as a revenge trick. he roasts the other witch and then almost sinks wilbur and niki into the Void but despite his tendency towards problem avoidance, wilbur steps in to defend niki and they just barely make it away. that being said, niki has learned a lot about her new friend through this adventure that he has not been willing to divulge himself, and it stings. why does he shut her out?

also notable: wilbur gives niki a ring inset with three diamonds to help her find her way home

the atmosphere in the castle is not fantastic after that, all their fun little memories bitter now. wilbur swings between talking freely about ripping the armies apart with his bare hands (claws? talons? that secret is out and he keeps evading all of niki's questions with nervous laughter and quips about monsters) and saying absolutely nothing at all. his suicidal tendencies are the elephant in the room that basically everyone else refuses to talk about, except his own too-grandiose and vague comments on the subject.

niki tries not to stew over feeling excluded. the lonelier she feels, the worse her curse gets.

wilbur takes her to a flower field, blooms rolling long into the horizon, and for a moment she thinks they might be fixing things. (she's so wrong)

through a series of mishaps (perhaps a visit from one of niki's friends..... i feel bad doing eret dirty like that though lmfao) henchmen start breaking into the house just as bombs fall upon the city. niki is put into overdrive to keep the castle from falling apart as the city burns around them. wilbur, who is already doing extremely too much flying around and causing problems in the midst of bombs dropping decides to go exacerbate the issue in an attempt to go out in a blaze of glory. unfortunately for him niki, fundy and tommy are all stubborn sons of bitches who will be extremely pissed if he fucking dies, so we pick up the castle and start moving

okay yeah i kind of think the rest of the story plays out not too differently from the movie? niki gets split up from her friends when the castle breaks down and attempts to kick a dent into a mountain when she realises she's alone again. unable to find wilbur himself, with the last bit of power from the diamonds he gave her she finds the doorway into his memories and sees the moment he and fundy met..... they were both very lonely. very sad. she shrieks out to both of them to look for her in the future

she stumbles out of the memory and finds a pile of feathers wilbur and woooo forehead kisses and wooooooo niki finds fundy again and puts wilbur's heart back even if it means they both might leave her again. BUT THEY DON'T even if they're not all in the castle 24/7 niki now has a few nice friends and is so submerged in that feeling that she doesn't even notice the curse breaking.

and the war ends!! and maybe they even talk about their hurts!! the hurts they carry and how they hurt each other!! and they keep on living!! and they all live best friendily ever after <3

#im sorry it took so long to get to your ask anon!! usually i like to wait until the hubbub around one au has died down before i answer more #to make sure each one gets its day in the sun yk #but apparently hunger games au is sticking around!#also i almost went on a Litany discussing like. fix its in relation to this kind of au for rainduo but its late so i refrained. but i think #its really sweet that you were thinking of this story and it made you think of rainduo nonnie hehe #anyway thank you very much for your ask!! <3 #asks #rainduo #aunonnies

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shinygoku · 2 months

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Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

This album has been discussed 'till the cows come home, and I won't have anything that new or insightful to say about it. Every Beatleologist has been there, done that and often got the T-Shirt. Still, I have one thing that is entirely my own; my Takes!

So, after an uncharacteristically long delay, with "only" the incredible Double-A Side Penny Lane/Strawberry Fields Forever to tide people over, there were apparently rumours circulating about The Beatles having run out of steam. This sets up the hilarious reveal, but there was truth to it, the Bugs needed the break and it's during such a Vaycay that Paul came up with the novel idea of this Alias Group, where they could step away from the expectations of The Beatles and instead become an Edwardian Military Style Band. Did this foray into old fashioned whimsy pay off? Did what they make count as a Concept Album? Does it indeed contain their singular Best song? And who is the much mentioned Billy Shears, really?

Much ink, on pages and digital, has been spilled about this picture, so I'll keep my words here brief. I looooove their extremely bright uniforms, and the subtle differences each has. Though I can also see how there's confusion about John and George's colours, as in other pictures John is more clearly Lime Green and George is somewhere between orange, tangerine and scarlet. Also, it has Karl Marx in it, so it's easily the most Based album art ever.

SIDE ONE

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: Starting with the sound of instruments tuning before kicking off before the cheering crowd, we already have a fabulous image of a live concert! Paul's vocals sound a bit hoarse but that isn't a bad thing, though I feel like it's the Harmonised parts that stand out most. This is also one'a the songs most attached to the following one which has me constantly listening to an upload on youtube that keeps the smooth transition, rather than the CD or other individual song uploads on the official channel lol

With A Little Help From My Friends: It's not just my Ringo Bias, I swear, but I do consider this one'a the stronger songs on the album despite the stiff competition. It's just a nice, straightforward song, which enough interesting instrument flourishes and the backing vocals making a conversation that make it rather endearing. I may not understand every lyric (what DO you see when you turn out the light?! Are you boys being cheeky here? XD;;) but it's main message is truthful and timeless~

Oh, by the way... BILLY SHEARS IS RINGO!! RINGO!!!! He's literally introduced as being the Singer, Billy Shears, and then his song follows seamlessly. Plus, Ringo had mentioned in interviews prior that he liked the idea of opening hairdressing salons... hence the Shears! Case Closed. (I have more thoughts about the PID stuff, mostly negative, but I don't want to derail this too much!)

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds: The song that is Not about LSD - if ya need one'a them Revolver has plenty! No, what this song does is far more Lewis Carroll and visual amongst the strange twanging instrument, deep bass plunking, flair of electric guitar and dramatic percussion. This is another song I find hard to detach from the Yellow Submarine video for it, even though that's far more focused on a mystery Girl rather than trying to depict the strange world John describes. A bit of a missed chance for the Train in a Station with Plasticine Porters with Looking-Glass ties, but oh well! A fun song based on a drawing which I'm unsure has ever been shown to the public lol

Getting Better: This song is fine but I feel it could have been a bit more improved, admittedly idk how. That's their forte, not mine! Again, the main feature of this one is a conversation and the contrast of the Paul lines and the harmonised counters. The tale told is of someone who is turning their life around and admitting their faults, though the sotto voice is saying the only way is up, as it "can't get no worse", making this jaunty song somewhat pessimistic ^^;;

Fixing A Hole: This one is also ...fine. Honestly I like to quote parts of it but I sure don't go to listen to it often. It's esoteric and some of the lyrics seem profound, but it's also a muddle that I find difficult to parse. The instrumentation is very good (shocking, I know !) but it doesn't mesh that well with Paul's irregular candance to me. There's some kind of Fairground esque sound that I can't identify, but it adds to the Album's collective vibe even though I don't really dig the song.

She's Leaving Home: In what feels to be a spiritual spin off from Eleanor Rigby, Paul weaves a narrative based on a real occurrence that was in the newspaper (put a pin in that notion), but also countless other incidents along the same lines would have the vibes reflected in this song. A girl runs away from her parents, not for any major transgression but instead feeling trapped by a mundane, unexciting middle class existence.

I think it's worth noting that a lot of the Older Audience are approving, of percieved Side Taking - they remark on how the parents are sympathised with. And that's true, but the song isn't a Young vs Old or black and white conflict. The girl is sad about her choice and dissatisfied with her own ability to put it into words, but the need to go out and enjoy herself was stronger. The parents are described as being devastated by the cold treatment and maybe the sheer anxiety of their offspring out in the world, but the John Vocals saying "we gave her most of our lives", "how could she do this to me" and "we never thought of ourselves" indicates to me that they were, in fact, thinking of themselves and were perhaps too wrapped up in these notions and working for the living to have been able to accommodate their daughter's need for excitement, their later introspection being bewilderment that "we didn't know it was wrong" ...to have been blind to the daughter's real needs. After all, she's clearly housed by her parents her whole life, but for that time she was living alone.

Again, it's the blunt banality that drives it home. Nothing that horrendous has occurred, yet we feel profound sadness. Though there's arguably a silver lining in the Girl's catharsis, her successful bid for freedom and fun, the almost nonchalant "Bye bye" John vocal that closes the song, as well as bookending it back with the dreamscape-y harps. More a story than a song but the music is excellent.

Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!: The lyrics to this are famously John reading an antique poster, a move he would later disparage. And yeah, it's one of their less inspired or memorable songs, heaping in the Carnival and, to be blunt, scary energy. It's a neat little experiment but very much an odd one out and I can't rate it highly or remark on much.

SIDE TWO

Within You Without You: I feel guilty whenever I say that one of George's songs doesn't do anything for me, all the moreso when it's Sitar based cause then I feel uncultured. But it's my thoughts and I never stated myself to have objective and correct views! It's nicer than some of his Revolver outings, this could be an improved Love You To. The message is better here but it's not one I wanna listen to much, the laughter at the end also not gelling with the song as a whole.

When I'm Sixty-Four: I looooove this one though ^^;; What can I say, it's whimsical! I've seen a claim that it's Paul's parody of expectations that older folk have, but when I asked for a source they were unable to provide one :/ (given that this was in a vid on the terrible 70's movie where this song is used for a dirty old man, the claim the song is a parody is like excusing its use in a rancid predatory scene which is already pretty disagreeable, and I disagree with much harder given I'm not at all convinced!! But I digress...). I do know Paul wrote it when he was a teenager, so the previous generation influence feels strong in that way.

In Yellow Submarine the sequence with the moving numbers is another high point~ Even without that, it's just fun to listen to and it incorporates interesting sounds, like what sounds like a clock chiming and the steady, rhythmic brass. Little parts of it like the "Oooooo" harmonising, the way Paul adds a meek little "if it's not too dear" qualifier to the Isle of Wight plans, and also the cadence of "Veeeera, Chuck! and Dave!", it's a jolly romp, even if it's unclear exactly what vibe Paul was going for lol

Lovely Rita: Allegedly loosely based on Paul getting a parking ticket from a female parking warden! I'm keen on this song, it's bright and sweet, with witty lyrics and a cute scenario. I find it interesting how Paul likes the girl who looked "a little like a military man" and I like how he pronounces Book as Boouk. There's fun sound effects like a clanking and a kazoo, and then the end of the song takes a bit of a turn for the steamy... the Super Deluxe mix leaves less to the imagination there, though it's my least favourite part of the shebang lmao

Good Morning Good Morning: I'm sorry, but this isn't one I enjoy. It's too much noise when it's noisy and the lyrics are just a bit of a slog. The animal sounds are novel but I feel this needed more time in the oven. However the Cat meow is Very, very good and they shoulda capitalised on that notion more!

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise): Off to another gradual build up, a more rocking version of the opener with very prominent drums and a crowd eagerly clapping with suitably adjusted lyrics. I like this version more than the opening, and it makes an interesting little fake-out given the song that Really closes the album...

A Day In The Life: When I heard this was commonly agreed to be The Very Best Beatles Song, on kneejerk I disagreed... but then couldn't think of any single song that does quite measure up. It's still not my favourite, and other songs have more Meaning to them, but yeah, this really is Peak LennonMcCartney. The way their parts do NOT melt into each other, they remain very obvious and distinct, somehow makes the song as a whole much stronger. It's like it's telling the same man's POV but forward and backward in time.

This is famously partly inspired by John reading the newspaper (hey, it's that Pin from before!) as well as personal experiences - his role in the film How I Won The War [I tried to watch it but even though it's satire I just couldn't get into it. I just whizzed through to see John's acting in the end lmao], and the man alluded to who had a car crash was an associate of the band. The other neat little real life bleed being the alarm clock that was used for timing perfectly dovetailing into Pauls "Woke up..." part!

I really must draw more attention to the thunderous drums and complex fills here, too! It's a strong showcase of some of Ringo's skills on top of everything else...! I will say though, that the mounting crescendo, darker elements to the narrative and that climatic chord also make this one of the more Scary songs, so I prefer to listen to it when there's daylight XD;;;

I can hear the high pitched whine put in to rouse dogs lol, and then there’s that gibberish that sounds like “never was any other way” or, when played backwards “I’ll fuck you like Superman” …one of the most beloved albums, everybody!!

CONCLUSION

Best 3: With A Little Help From My Friends, She's Leaving Home, A Day In The Life

Blurst 3: Fixing A Hole, Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite!, Good Morning Good Morning

I can't claim credit for the notion, I believe it was from a show that aired on BBC4, but someone suggested that the Thematic Thread that runs though this album isn't the Edwardian Band, but instead, Liverpool. This is much stronger if one includes Strawberry Fields Forever and Penny Lane... but I'll cover them where they wound up, even if they were intended for this one.

There's also a CRAPload of Counterpart Vocals, the boys were big on harmonising but half of these songs are conversations or Greek Choruses! I notice I've quoted waaay more than normal here, and I think that too is a hallmark of this album, it's Intelligent and has themes and distinct plays on words, more than even the last two absolute banger albums. Does that mean it's inherently better? Not really, but it's interesting all the same.

Is this a Concept Album? Not as much as Dark Side of the Moon is, no, but it's a very solid prototype in my opinion. It's about Liverpool, and what the band have been witness to, and ordinary days and the slight fairground vibe from their colourful uniforms and musical organs. It's expressing thoughts and conversing. It's personal to them. ...Hmm wait, maybe it is a Concept Album after all, if not planned as such by the band?!

Part of me wants to keep talking about tangents, like the shitty fucking 70's movie that sucked ass and sucks out everything cool and unique about this Lower-Middle Class Liverpool experience into grey American slop, or me wondering if calling it the transcripted サージェント・ペパーズ・ロンリー・ハーツ・クラブ・バンド is better than the translation of ペパー軍曹の独り者楽団 (the latter I got from Japanese cover versions on YT! Some are very, very good adaptations!), or my distaste for the PID theory which, while seldom taken seriously, has still rather invaded Beatle Spaces to my chagrin. But this already got longer than I planned so I'll leave this notions here. For now.

So yeah, my summary of Sgt Pepper's is already bolded but may be hard to see in the sea of text, so here it is again: Intelligent, with a heavy dash of Whimsy. You can tell it's Paul's baby at a mere glance!

🪲🪲🪲🪲

Next month I shall be deviating from my UK Canon Only trend for the Magical Mystery Tour US release! The buzz around it seems positive, indeed several orders of magnitude stronger than the odd TV Special they had bearing the same name, but how much of that is the stolen valour of SFF and PL?

#The Beatles #Sgt Pepper #Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band #Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band #Sgt Pepper's 1967 #Sargeant Pepper #oh god how many variantions am I gonna need to tag??#CutCat listens to Bug Music #Music Review

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affinitystoryblog · 28 days

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so these questions were initially an ask but i accidentally published the ask before i was done answering. luckily i had copied what i had written before i deleted the incomplete answer, but here is the answers! i do not remember what the last one was, so unfortunately i can only give u these ones.

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break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Sinie

SO ACTUALLY there is a major story event that takes place late book 1 that changes sinie's character for a while. book 2 sinie is not going to be the same as book 1 sinie....i cant say what the event is because i think its too much of a spoiler. but sinie fuckin loses it. goes dark. corrupted by her own emotions. itll be the lowest anyone has ever seen sinie. the event, and her actions resulting from how it affects her, will change her forever.

Csilla

this one is a little harder for me to answer, because i havent thought of something like this for csilla like i have for sinie. csilla is...a little stronger than sinie tbh. she can handle darker emotions easier, given that she's been an outcast and lonely most of her life. she isnt sheltered necessarily, just kept on a tight leash. she feels her mother doesn't love her, she adores her father but he's often times too busy to make any actual time for her so he overcompensates by spoiling her in any way he can, and her and her brother have an estranged resentment for each other.

the one that really brings out the best in her is everett. sure, everett is kinda just doing as programmed and trying to woo csilla, but damn does she fall for it. she's a hopeless romantic, and everett is everything she could've ever wanted in someone. he makes her laugh, hes attractive, he gives her attention, comforts her, they have a lot of similar interests, he is always taking her out to do new things she never dreamed of doing trapped by the shackles of her parents expectations. he makes her feel free. so tbh, i actually think a perfect scenario for this would be everett's betrayal. (idc about spoiling this since i mean itll be obvious its gonna come out once i start the arc) i mean, idk if i would rly call it much of a betrayal, more of a reveal that he was a spy but lbr, he's gonna continue doing what mommy (agitha) says until his heart finally tells him to do whats right. (i have a feeling that everett will be on their side before agitha, but i havent fully figured it out yet...) so there'd be a bit of time where everett's heart is in limbo and csilla would be sitting in her room rotting away bella twilight style until it was all resolved.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Sinie

again, the big story event that sinie goes through at the end of book 1 will cover all of this. she's definitely gonna marinate in her negative emotions for a while, coping very very badly. she cuts her hair off. not a spoiler u guys have seen short haired sinie tons of times if ur familiar with this blog. i just decided tho...i think i want her to go full throttle and shave it all off. i think she'd eat.

Csilla

see, i love asks like this because i dont normally think of stuff like this for csilla like i do sinie because im used to sinie being the protagonist like she was in beta affinity, but i need to treat csilla with that same respect cause she's equally the protagonist. theyre both the main character because u cant have this story without one or the other. and this stuff makes me think for csilla.

so anyway, i dont know how to answer this question off the top of my head, SO lets psychoanalyze csilla!

she's shy and introverted, but she's also still a nerd; she likes art and music, dance, videogames even though she doesnt play much herself, anime and cartoons (sinie does end up getting her into "kiri kyu-kyu-cute!!") but she also kind of doesnt know how to have friends. she was outcasted for being the weird witchy kid growing up in a bougie all girls private school, and we ALL know how hardcore middle school girls bully. i havent fully thought of how all of csilla's history with bullying went, but it definitely affected her to grow up alone and isolated.

she probably would feel guilty for liking witchcraft and being interested in magic, it being ingrained in her head that its weird and creepy and dangerous. and running with that, she would probably feel like an absolute freak for being a magical girl. ive kind of already depicted csilla calling magic freaky and she is shown to be scared of it.

(shown in chapter 1)

(and then a couple times in chapter 2)

csilla is the one who insists they keep their magical identities a secret, partly because i personally dont want too much of the world suddenly being exposed to magic rn, (hence miko, who takes them to a place they can be destructive) but also because csilla is embarrassed. notice how she calls it "wacky". she does admit it was awesome, but thats really mostly sinie's influence. csilla does still love wacky things, she was just abused into feeling guilt about liking these things. she can be more free with sinie who is OPENLY expressive about her love for magic and their newfound powers.

so i definitely think csilla should go through an identity crisis of some sort, battling her feelings of feeling like a total freak and then feeling like she has a purpose. csilla is a little more logical when it comes to magic, its not supposed to be real. no one would believe them anyway and she's terrified of being considered the freak in a place where she can start over.

i think playing with this idea early on is better, so ill go through and edit some chapters and then keep the theme in mind for future chapters for consistency :)

oc ask meme

#affinity talk #sinie castellano #csilla beauchene

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wikaliyag · 1 year

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hi, so i've become a tomgreg enthusiast just before the fourth season aired (i basically devoured the whole three seasons of succ in four days lmao). i don't really engage in social media and fandoms anymore but i would like to share my thoughts on the tomgreg relationship and the final season itself.

i would like to start with the fact that i was actually really surprised how explicit their relationship was in the first three seasons (in a way it still really is, but we'll get to that), since from what i knew about the show it was supposed to be something perfect for your 'normal' media consumer out there, just some business stuff, so with that logic i assumed it will be as heterosexual as it can get to not offend anyone (i mean homophobes). but the second tom and greg were together on the screen my brain materialised the 'i know what you are' dog meme and i loved it. it didn't feel superficial, it was something different, fresh and ugly and toxic and just real. seeing these two just be horrible to everyone (including each other) made sense and then seeing them finally lower their gourds down and care for only each other also made sense. so my main point is that it made a lot of sense for them to go with the dynamic and to just make it the way it is. i believe wholeheartedly that it is a genuine representation that i so desperately wanted, since i'm so done with all that 'gay ppl can't be horrible pieces of shit and have to be unnaturally perfect and good'.

it isn’t as explicit as other queer relationships in media but that’s kinda what makes them so unique and fun to watch. they don’t have to kiss or to say ‘i love you’, cause we already have that confirmation through how they act towards each other. from ‘would you kiss me?’ first interaction to the ‘i will take care of you’ declaration, like he really didn’t have to do it, i believe he might have just been lonely in the roy kingdom and greg was the same, not in the inner circle but still a part of the family. that was the reason why he was so attracted to greg from the beginning. the nero and sporus speech, when tom decides to pour his whole heart into that speech and greg just responds with nothing, so tom awkwardly drops his smile, cause he thinks that he might be the only one that feels that way. (it was so fun to me cause for some reason i love to see tom suffer, idk why don’t ask me). but then greg immediately asks if tom is okay, cause he does care about tom and maybe he is just super oblivious to tom’s feelings at that point. in the fourth season greg allows tom to throw him under the bus during social interactions just for him to look better. he also is okay with tom treating him like shit throughout the whole show, even though he could have just leave him and try to suck up to his family more (as we can see in this season it is actually possible for greg to somehow have a working relationship with his cousins). i could give you so many more examples but we all get the point. it is not sexually explicit and it doesn’t have to, queer relationships are not only about sex or physical intimacy in general (though we still get all that patting on the back, stomach, shoulders ect., even all that whatever it was in the first ep from greg), it’s the emotional connection too. and we did get that.

if it comes to the fourth season, i must admit that i agree with a lot of criticism. the characters feel really off to me. and i will focus on greg for a bit. this season he is suddenly gross and says stupid things, like he is a total imbecile that can’t think for himself (like i get it, he was always a little dumb dumb and ofc he can say gross things, it’s just that these are his only character trades right now, that’s the problem). he is definitely not qualified enough to be in a position that he is now but the greg from the second or third season would at least try to pinch some of his own ideas (even tho they are shitty) or maybe try to give his honest opinion on something, now he just goes ‘yeah it’s dope man’ and moves on. if it comes to tom i would say he is handled quite well, it might be because macfadyen is an absolute acting genius, but him being a total flop and trying so desperately to be on a good page with all the people that he betrayed makes sense. he is scared he is soon going to lose everything and it makes him do everything in his power to not let that happen, he is a total mess emotionally (and we love to see it). that includes coming back to shiv. even though he stood up for himself and i really wish he could just leave her and finally be happy alone, he has to be the a good and obedient husband once again, that’s his only way of saving himself. he says that he loves shiv for the money but i think there is also an actual unconditional love there, it’s just not a thing that she will understand, so he must speak in another language - a love for money and power. she then gets it and lets him in. but then you can see in a way that tom looks at her, that there is something more to it than the prestige of being married to a roy.

and now the tomgreg relationship. we don’t see many scenes of them and yes it hurts a bit, since you wait a whole ass week for an episode and you don’t get much of their interactions but i saw someone saying that ‘they don’t need to show us tom and greg plotting together, cause we already know that. they focus on the dynamics of the relationships that are currently changing and tomgreg is as solid as a rock’ (obviously paraphrasing that one). i so agree with that, we don’t have to see them to know, it would be amazing to get more confirmation and just to see them both be all giggly middle aged men together but we already know where we stand. they have the deal, they work together behind the scenes, i bet that is exactly why in the sixth episode they went to an empty room, so that they can update each other on their secrety and confidential stuff. and why is greg gregging for ken and tom is suffocating himself in a toxic relationship with shiv? it’s simple, because it’s their plan to do so. they hope that at least one of the relationships will stick and save them from their doom. they will jump ships to whoever will be willing to not throw them away. this way it makes sense for us not to see them all that often together because we see them executing their plan, separately on camera but actually together. i hope that this will be addressed in the last four eps, it would be actually kinda fun to see maybe one of them or even both of them betray each other for their new friends/lovers to just be betrayed themselves and end up together anyway. it's what they deserve.

#tomgreg #just some thoughts #succession #i still love the show and i will watch it till the end

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snurtle · 2 years

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idk if you're still doing these but i'd love if you do a character opinion bingo on orihime and/or renji. i saw your bleach red au art a few months ago when i was reading ahead before the anime premiere and i've been Rotating It In My Mind ever since, i just love your take on both characters

First off, this is just such a nice comment! :D So nice, in fact, that I drew a doodle for it. I'm always surprised when other people engage with my silly AUs. Rotate away! Let's play in this space together! I've actually got a couple of short scene comics in the works for RED that will probably be done around January if I'm being honest with myself. (I’m busy, I’m slow, and comics take a long time!)

Originally, I wasn’t going to do the rest of the bingo memes that I still have asks for- (sorry!!!) it’s been a while and it felt like the general Vibe of things had moved on, but you’ve shot a friendly arrow into my ass about it so PERHAPS I will!

I’m choosing to just do Orihime for this, because I ended up writing an Essay and Renji... I don’t know if I’m coherent enough about Renji to do a bingo on him without breaking down into garbled eldritch signs and scratched pictograms on cave walls. Orihime is the safer choice. Less of a cognito hazard. More legible. So under the cut she goes! I hope this suffices for you anon.

[Edit: 5/6/2023 cut removed by request for record keeping! <3 ]

LADIES AND GENTLESNAILS WE HAVE OUR FIRST BINGO!

I’d like to preface this by saying Orihime was not one of my favorite characters the first time I read Bleach. What can I say? We are all a series of nesting dolls, and the things we relate to change as we add layers to our hearts. With age, experience, and another read, she is ABSOLUTELY one of my favorite characters in anything period. I have a lot of feelings about her, and a lot of them are “oh god why did you get married so young” and “while I understand where this narrative train is heading I want to get off!!!” So like any good AU fantasizer... complicated! :D

So let’s just take the bullets in order, shall we?

they are soooooo cool looking:

Orihime (circa Soul Society Arc to a vague point somewhere in the Arrancar Arc) has a very unique facial structure! She’s got a large forehead and downturned eyes that make her seem a little mournful even when she’s smiling brightly. Honestly, it’s a VERY neat bit of character storytelling through design, and while I could never beef with an artist for style creep, I’m sad that her unique features seemed to even out and become more standardized as the manga grew loooooooonger and Kubo aged everyone up.

Beyond that, my girl is ADORABLE and I like her slightly off kilter fashion choices; they really speak to someone who both

- had few/strange/ill-equipped adult influences in her life to guide her early clothing choices

- has to tailor her own clothes to fit a body out of place.

It’s just.. I could just go on forever about this! Orihime’s design isn’t complicated, but it’s informative, and that’s not something I can take for granted in a visual medium. The choices Kubo made in those areas of her design give us a window into her personality.. Which is to say, a lonely, grieving teenager who’s had to teach herself to Person while hanging onto the razor wire of societal expectation and threat. (not unlike our other protagonists, no? Ha. Our poor Karakura kids.) You can tell something is a little off about her. Her hair is wrong, her face is wrong, her clothes are...wrong. Ish, if not skillfully amended. Like she’s not doing great at camouflaging, but she’s existing in the shadow of the benefit of the doubt and that will just have to do before her star really starts to shine.

wasted potential:

“I reject your version of reality and substitute my own!” -Orihime at some point, probably.

That’s insane. That’s mindbreakingly, hand-twirlingly eye poppingly FUN. In a world full of near misses, sword skill expositions, and by-the-skin-of-your-teeth victories and losses, ONE imaginative girl can just go. “Uh. Y’know, I don’t like this very much. Nope. Nope nope nope.” And the world reorganizes itself to fit the shape of that NOPE. Her ability to reject the consequences of actions and events she wasn’t even there to witness is just.. Game breaking. But ultimately, those powers are the expression of a personality, and the personality belongs to a person who... really doesn’t care much about power at all- at least, not for its own sake. Orihime is a healer, a time bender, a bastion, a judge who can interact with the binary of the universe at large-- aaand that’s never really expanded on.

Everyone who sees her Do Her Thing universally goes “what in the bugfuck is this” because it Just Does Not Compute. It’s not supposed to be possible! And conveniently, no one ever has to dig into that because Orihime does less on-screen exploration of her abilities and more just... Yaknow. Standard heal-y forcefield-y stuff. Occasionally, resurrect-y stuff. Which is fine I guess because it serves the story’s focus, but for a person who is name twinsies with [VEGA]:

> Vega has been extensively studied by astronomers, leading it to be termed "arguably the next most important star in the sky after the Sun"

HMMMMMMM. The sun, you say? The sun, which serves an important symbolic role in Bleach, The Sun, and The Moon, and -The next most important STAR in the sky- HUH?? HUH???? YOU’RE TELLING ME THESE CELESTIAL SYMBOLS CAN TRIO? IN THIS ECONOMY?

and the mythological figure of “the daughter of the king of heaven”

Orihime (織姫, "Weaving Princess"), daughter of the Tentei (天帝, "Sky King", or the universe itself) [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanabata]

🤔🤔🤔🤔

I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS MERITS. YOU KNOW. SOME EXPLORATION. BECAUSE THAT’S NOT NORMAL. THAT KIND OF THEMATIC WEIGHT ISN’T NORMAL TO JUST DROP ON A CHARACTER THAT ISN’T GOING TO EXAMINE THE GUN CHEKOV GAVE THEM. AND IT’S JUST A LITANY OF “HUH. SOMETHIN AIN’T RIGHT WITH THAT GIRL.” AND THEN THE SERIES ENDS??? WHAT’S UP WITH THAT

they’re deeper than they seem:

Okay look this is a pet headcanon of mine, but I think Orihime isn’t actually a Fullbringer in the normal sense. Rather, I think she classes closer to Ywhach, Gerard Valkyrie, Ukitake, and Aura as in “bearer of [a] legacy of the Soul King.” As in a significant chunk to full-organ, or some kind of convoluted lineage/heir thing. It’s the only thing I can think of that makes Her THING make sense to me, unless her personality, her attachments, and the influence of Whatever Hollow Nyoomed by her in utero just... lined up perfectly to create a cosmic loophole big enough to string the Milky Way through. Which would also be cool! I love dark horses yanking the rug out from underneath “places where the cool powers are SUPPOSED to come from.” And we see that Nel, the Hollow most closely associated with Orihime, has healing powers via her ... uh. vomit, so it’s not as if there isn’t precedent for a healing-ish factor to come out of Hollow power, but STILL.

(I’m also not touching the whole ‘The Hyogoku and/or Ichigo gave them powers part of canon. I recognize it. I also think it’s intentional obfuscation of where her powers ACTUALLY come from because Bleach isn’t afraid to give characters conflicting sources of information.)

And also, Uh. I feel like this bingo square may have been referring to personality, perhaps, in which case I suppose I could have been talking about Orihime’s rampant trust issues. She feels so intensely the weight of mutual burden that the moments where she’s open about her problems are vanishingly rare, and then covered up by jokes, minimized. Sometimes- sometimes often- she performs cheerfulness like a thank-you card in exchange for that burden of care. (It’s expected. It’s all she can do. Isn’t it?) IIiii COULD talk about guilt, and envy simmering below the surface, or an aversion to conflict that is 75% moral pacifism, 25% fear (sometimes. percentages are as wiggly as hearts.). And all of that being under the hood of someone who looks like she’s daydreaming mid conversation, when she’s actually clocking 95mph on the Advanced Interpersonal Risk Calculus Highway.

Or I could keep yelling about cool powers, because I think I’ve said this all before?

Unfortunately, Orihime’s proximity to Ichigo’s sun (especially in a romantic context) means that her fine details are sometimes blown out or overlooked in favor of making sure everyone knows that here’s a SEXY FEMALE TITS BIG ONES (urahara), but she’s also classical, she’s a moral center, she’s so powerful and tragic and accepts so much sacrifice so gracefully as is her duty and speaking of duty she gets married right out of highschool and has a kid almost immediately ayoo--

And yk. Some of those things are endemic to shounen manga, or are just kind of common in portrayals of Women Who Elevate Those Around Them (much like Masaki, or Kanae). It’s not like those things are inherently bad. But I don’t have to like them either. Weird Girls becoming Mature Women(tm) is something that will never interest me and actively repels me on most days because of the rote, tired way I’ve seen it written. I like messy women and disaster people and complicated, unusual lives. You can be happy without even the semblance of Destined Nuclear Family normalcy and frankly, I’m less interested in Punks And Weirdos becoming well-adjusted and accepted than I am in Punks and Weirdos clawing out a space for themselves and everyone being very uncomfortable but unable to coerce them otherwise. (This is a power fantasy.)

So while I’m (shrugs) on Orihime’s fairytale ending in canon, it’s not my bag, it gives me the heeby jeebies, and I don’t really want to work within the framework of that ending for my fan stuff!

I like them enough to project my own issues onto them:

Ah, to fear and envy those who can excel in the system designed around you all as if it’s as natural to them as breathing. Ahhh, to feel like the one bright blue piece in the milk puzzle. (Also, if anyone was going to get some of that good ol’ fashioned MORAL SCRUPULOSITY PANIC, it’s going to be Orihime. It has to be her.)

they got done DIRTY by fans:

Must I recite the old magic once again? The ancient curses? The shipping wars of yore? Those ancient battlegrounds of “girl-ed power” and “to be feminine is to err?” Nay, I wish it not upon anyone. The only dirt upon Orihime’s name was that of conflict between humans, for how could anyone say that another person’s work made in joy was wrong? I refuse to deride the work of my fellow fans... u_u ✨ ✨

(Which is to say in normal talk, what I hate most about Orihime Fan Zones isn’t any of the art or fic or headcanons people have of her! How could I possibly hate that? It’s just how much damn controversy she stirred up by existing in perceived conflict to Rukia. Waugh!)

i’m mentally ill about them:

And I’m not even done yet!! If you’re still reading this, brava!

they work better as part of a dynamic:

This is a funny one. Orihime is actually one of a few characters that I think would stand perfectly well on her own- she’s not a bit character, she doesn’t really rely on any gimmicks for her place in the story- her personality is well-faceted and we’ve seen plenty of her internal workings. But the thing is, Orihime’s weirdness is more vibrant when she has someone next to her who has a more rigid sense of propriety. The same is true in the opposite scenario, in which, instead of a straight man to her comedy routine, she has a co conspirator to hype up her shenanigans.

they’ve never done anything wrong in their life <33:

This is derogatory.

I want to see Orihime fuck up, BAD. The bad things around her happen TO her, pretty much universally. Even her social flaws are both relatable and normal and don’t really cause any conflict that isn’t internal and localized to herself. If someone rallies her or rags ON her in a way she can’t relate to, she flinches or stonewalls. She’s harmless. I would like to see her bite. Or . Step on a bug. Or snap at someone. I’d like to see that fear response cause something to break, irreparably. SOMETHING. PLEASE!!! PLEASE.... But no one really blames her for anything, even avoidance. No one really beefs with her on anything besides propriety, that I remember. Her fighting is a silent resistance. Unfortunately I think this response puts me on a psychic wavelength with Ulquiorra, and now I’m going to go wander the desert about this while I try to recover. (Wait, was that slap she gave him the only time we see her snap?)

Which is mostly just to say, she’s a perfectly nice normal girl, and she’s lovely, but anything I write with her is probably going to explore the consequences of severe avoidance and silence, rather than the virtues of them. Because in a story about ghosts and supernatural powers, I don’t really need my gals to be blameless, and I like to think about how people deal with guilt when it’s actually warranted, rather than self inflicted. Ideally, I’d also like it to be more severe than a slap, but you know.

And that’s a bingo!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for coming to my mental illness ted talk about my 1# ANGEL ORIHIME INOUE, MS. STAR ABOVE THE WELL OF TRUTH, BEST GIRL 10,000 HOURS PLAYED!

Please remember that I treat all my favorite characters like chew toys, I enjoy shredding them, and don’t forget to grab your belongings on the way out! Thank you again for the nice comment and bout of motivation anon~

#The final word count on this is close to 2000 #EEP...#character opinion bingo #bleach #long post #orihime inoue #Renji is just going to have to get his own post if I do one for him at all #im so sorry but also i'm not and also i'm SO flattered if you read this whole damn thing #woo!#bleach red au #im tagging it under the au because of reasons (i will not elaborate)

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