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orphicdreamers-wp · 4 months

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Happiness— Jack Hughes

Summary: In which Jack and your marriage has run its course.

Content Warning; Angst without a happy ending, divorce, emotional distress, etc

Pairings: Fem Reader x Jack Hughes, Fem Reader x Nico Hischier

Inspired by ‘Happiness’ By Taylor Swift

All the years I’ve given is just shit we’re dividing up

You stared at Jack hopelessly. You and him had been together since you were 15 years old. Now you sat oceans away from each other. The lawyer cleared her throat, “So all we’re doing here today is dividing assets before we get further into the divorce.” There was less than ten feet separating you and your husband of 4 years. However you felt like you were standing on separate continents. Danielle, the lawyer continued, “Neither of you brought dependents into the marriage is that correct?” You cleared your throat, “Yes, neither of us has children.”

Danielle nodded, “So it seems all we really need to cover is the properties. There’s the skyrise apartment in New Jersey, the high rise loft in NYC, the condo in Tampa and the apartment in Toronto.” Jack spoke up, “I only want the apartment in Jersey and Toronto.” Danielle turned to you with an expecting look on her face. You looked at Jack and let out a defeated sigh, “That’s fine. I didn’t come here to fight.” Jack shook his head slightly and faced Danielle who went on to explain the regulations on divorce and ownership of properties.

I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes me spot next to you.

This week had been really rough for you. You and Jack’s fifth anniversary would have been this week, and working so closely with Jack wasn’t helping. You had been cleaning your lens to your camera you’d used for tonight’s game when the players filed off the ice. Jack ending the line of players, and scoffing to himself as you smiled at him kindly. He walked past you and stopped when he he heard a feminine voice call out to him.

Out of habit you looked up to watch the scene unfold. A beautiful woman dressed in a long bright red furry coat and black leather pants with perfectly blown out black curls and bright red lipstick approached him and enveloped him into her embrace. You couldn’t make out the words that were being shared but the encounter ended with the woman kissing Jack warmly. You felt your heart drop into your stomach and you shoved your stuff into your bag and hurried to your office to upload the photos to your computer and hard drive.

No one teaches you what to do, when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too.

The holiday season crept up on you this year. You’d been too wrapped up in rebuilding your life and relationship with yourself am your divorce. You had been roped into doing a Secret Santa with the players and the other social media administrators. You were somewhat disappointed in the fact you pulled Jack’s name. The holidays had always been the best time of year for you two. This would be the first year you weren’t together.

Jack was officially cursed, his girlfriend, Tessa had just found out that she was pregnant and then he was roped into doing Secret Santa. And with his luck this year he drew your name. He hadn’t spoken to you in a higher capacity then, “Are we done here?” Or “Where should I stand?” since the divorce was made final. He’d always sneered in your direction whenever he noticed you lingering or trying to be friendly with him. He just wasn’t ready for it to be amicable yet. He figured he’d probably just get you a candle or a gift card or something. If you’d gotten him you’d do the same thing.

You’d known Jack had grown to dislike the holidays since he and his siblings were all split up for Christmas due to their hockey schedules. You also knew that the Devils didn’t play again until the weekend after New Year’s. So you decided to buy two first class tickets to Vancouver for Jack and Luke, admittedly you went over the budget but you had saved the money all year for you and Jack to go for Christmas anyways. So you put those in a cute envelope and wrote a small note and slipped it in the envelope before sealing it and writing Jack’s name in beautiful calligraphy.

You slipped it onto the table of gifts on your way to your office the morning of the exchange. You went to your office and got to work updating Instagram and Twitter accounts. Eventually you ventured out to go get a cup of coffee, you had to walk past the table of gifts so you figured you would check to see if your gift was there and it wasn’t so you assumed it may have been in the possession of your secret Santa still. You went to get your coffee and drank it before rinsing your mug and putting it in the dish drainer after. You returned to your office and got out your camera and went to get some practice shots.

Hours later after practice everyone was ready to do the gift exchange so you all filed into the conference room. The gifts were passed out and you watched quietly as Jack picked up his envelope and Nico commented on the pretty handwriting. Luke glanced over at you, recognizing the handwriting from a birthday card he’d received from you and Jack a few years earlier. Jack opened the envelope and immediately broke out into a huge grin, “Because I know you miss them. Go home(Take Luke too.) It’s two first class tickets to Vancouver.” Luke looked at you as Jack looked around the room, “Who got these?” Everyone stayed quiet and Tyler, a right winger ended the silence by opening his gift which turned out to be a pair of arthritis socks given to him by Ethan.

You went to open yours, hopeful since it was a decent sized box. Your smile flattened as you lifted the top of the box. Inside were a box of tissues, a bottle of 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner conditioner, eye masks, concealer, some breath mints and some baby wipes. Tyler’s shit eating grin he’d been sporting the entire ordeal dropped as he caught a glimpse of the contents of the gift. He looked up, “You better be fucking around Hughes. You didn’t give her just that right? I mean how big of a douche can you be?” You waved it off, “It’s fine Ty. I don’t mind. There’s always a bad gift right?”

Nico shook his head spoke up, “No way sugar, there’s bad gifts like what I got and there’s unacceptable gifts.” Jack looked down at his feet, feeling internally bad upon seeing tears forming in your eyes as you defended probably the worst gift in the history of Secret Santa. Luke turned to his brother and spoke in a low tone, “You know she got you right? I mean you were her husband for 4 years you have to recognize her handwriting.” Jack froze as he looked at his brother who’d found a picture of a birthday card he’d received that had Jack’s name in the identical handwriting. He looked up to find you had left the room, leaving your gift on the table.

There’ll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you

It was the end of the season Devil’s banquet and you still had to shoot photos. You were sitting on the edge of the stage in a silk pale blue shimmery gown with a slit up the side and your hair pulled back and light lipstick adorning your otherwise makeup free face. You had your eye pressed against the viewfinder as you took pictures of the team and their significance others. Your eyes admittedly landing on Jack and his girlfriend more than they should. You were slightly startled when Nico sat down beside you, “So how’s my best girl doing tonight?”

You laughed, “Nico just because I’m your girlfriend doesn’t mean I have to be your best girl.” Nico smiled, “I know, but you’re still my best girl.” You smiled, “I’m alright Honey. You look nice.” Nico pressed a kiss against your cheek, “You look like Cinderella.” You giggled, “Does that make you Prince Charming?” Nico grinned, “Darling, I’d be Shrek if it made you happy.”

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness. You haven’t met the new me yet, and I think she’ll give you that.

You were straightening your office up before heading out for the weekend. You were logging out of your desktop when a knock on your door startled you. Jack smiled softly and held his hands up in surrender, “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you. I’m sorry.” You smiled as you scrawled a note for yourself to change your water filter next week, “You’re good Jack, what’s up? I’m on my way out now.” Jack rubbed his hands against his jeans, “I just want to apologize for everything, the divorce and all.”

You smiled, “Don’t worry about it Jack.” Jack shook his head in disagreement, “No way, I was royally shitty to you before, during and after the divorce was finalized. I’m sorry I treated you like that. I just guess I didn’t realize that my best friend was going through a divorce too not just me.” You smiled softly, “It’s okay Jack. It was your first time going through a divorce too. We just weren’t meant to be married anymore. I mean we got married like 5 seconds after we graduated high school. It wasn’t realistically going to work.” Jack laughed softly, “Are you sure we’re all good?”

You grinned as you crossed the room and engulfed him into a warm hug, “I’m going home to my boyfriend and your girlfriend is having a baby Hughie. We’re all good.” Jack smiled, “Thanks Y/n, I’ve missed being friends.” You smiled as you and him exited your office, “Me too. Drive safe Hughes, tell the boys I said hello and give your mom my love.” You walked away from Jack finally finding your inner happiness.

#fanfic #hockey #hockey player x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl #jack hughes x reader #jack x reader #jack hughes #new jersey devils #nj devils #divorce

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ifimdreaming · 1 year

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Meeting your family

Luke Hughes x reader || fluff, very soft

author’s note: this is very all over the place and not at all edited - im just trying to put all of my writings in one place so pls bare with me. ok love you bye.

word count: 2.0k

It was Easter weekend and you were finally able to bring Luke to a family gathering.

You and your family were all getting together at your dads house in Toronto for the weekend, which is the perfect opportunity for them to meet your boyfriend Luke.

When your dad had asked if Luke would be coming with you this weekend, you had asked Luke if he was comfortable being away from his family for the whole weekend considering it was Easter.

But because both Jack and Quinn would be busy with games, the Hughes family planned to have a dinner the week after.

A dinner in which Luke did not hesitant to invite you to and kept reminding you, you said you were definitely going to be there when his parents asked if you’d be joining them.

Which definitely wasn’t a problem, although it was a little bit nerve racking to think you would finally be meeting his parents in person and not just over the phone or on facetime calls.

You had spent all morning cleaning your apartment after you and Luke had friends over last night and completely forgot to pack until you almost had to be out the door.

“Hey, if we’re gonna make it there before 8pm like your dad said, then we have to leave now!” Luke called out from the living room of your apartment as you were in your bedroom finishing up putting your clothes in your overnight bag.

Luke never failed to be ready before you were and usually didn’t mind waiting for you even if it caused you to be a little bit late.

but you live almost two hours from your dad and Luke wanted to make a good impression since he would be meeting most of your family for the first time.

So he really didn’t want to be late.

“Luke it really doesn’t matter if we’re a few minutes late, my dad will not think it's your fault…trust me.”

“I’m the one driving so technically it would be my fault for not getting you out the door fast enough.”

“Plus i’m guessing you’ll want to stop at tims or starbucks on the way there? so that will slow us down even more.” He replies while walking towards your room, you make eye contact as he stops at your door frame, staring at you with an annoyed glare.

You ignore his previous assumptive statement and continue packing before you go to stand up, “Could you please bring this down to the car?” You say with a smile as you zip up your bag and walk towards him hoping he will take it from you.

You place a peck on Luke's cheek and he sighs, “Pleaseee?” You drag out and grab his hand, looking up at him pleadingly, hoping he will get over his attitude and give in to your advances.

You slowly lean forward and press a kiss on his lips and he deepens it, placing one hand on the back of your neck, bracing his other hand on the doorframe.

You part your lips slightly, wanting more of him and he pushes his tongue into your mouth, dancing it around a little before you take a step forward, bumping into him with your chin.

You’re wishing you could get closer to him but your bag rests right between your bodies and is keeping you just far enough apart, serving as a reminder that you really should be out the door by now.

Luke mumbles against your mouth, “mm Ok...”, You softly moan against his mouth after hearing him speak.

“We h-have to go.” He says, and reluctantly breaks the kiss, taking your bag from your hands as he heads towards the door and you walk down to the car together.

Arriving at your dads house a little after 8:30, You and Luke sat in the car for a second just taking a moment together before going inside.

Luke turns off the car and you look towards him waiting for a kiss before you head inside.

He looks over at you with a smile and leans over but just hovers over your face for a moment.

“I’ll give you a kiss but this will be the last one until we’re alone again so you better enjoy it…” He says before leaning down and kissing your lips softly and firmly.

You try to prolong the contact by following his lips as he starts to back away, but Luke places his hand on your jaw and softly pushes his thumb against your chin to break the kiss.

You lean forward again and Luke just holds your face and smiles back at you, softly laughing at your determination.

Luke had arrived at your apartment last night after a long flight and you immediately had people over, which means you haven’t really had that much time just to yourselves.

You really miss your quiet moments together, just being able to enjoy each other while you're together since that isn’t very often.

But Luke hates PDA in general, so you wouldn’t expect him to be any different around your family - especially around your dad who he hasn’t even met yet.

You go inside and are met with the sound of the two little dogs barking as they run up to your feet and greet you both at the door. Luke bends down to give them a quick pet and you shout a ‘Hello’ into the house and hear the sounds of your family loudly greeting you, happy to hear you two finally arrive. “Oh they FINALLY showed up!” Your youngest sister calls out from the living room, clearly teasing you for being over half an hour late.

Your dad and stepmom walk over to you first and your dad pulls you into a tight hug and then steps back, allowing your step mom to give you a hug as well.

Your dad watches you for a moment and then is standing awkwardly as he’s faced with Luke. “Hi, sorry we’re late, it was this one's fault..” Luke shyly says as he points over to you, waiting for you to refute him, but you just laugh and roll your eyes, knowing he is right.

“Well, this is Luke obviously.’ You say with a laugh and your dad reaches out a hand to Luke, which he promptly accepts to shake. “Nice to meet you!” they say in harmony and awkward laughs ensue as they let go of the handshake and stand there, not saying anything more.

Earlier this week over the phone, your dad would not stop telling you how excited he was to meet Luke, knowing that he is a Hughes and is supposedly ‘bound for great success’ and ‘going to change the game’, - which you purposefully left out of the conversation you told Luke you had with him, because you would quite literally never hear the end of how much your dad loves him - so you assumed this meeting would go a little differently, but you guess your dad was just anxious to meet him, which in turn made everything a smidge more awkward.

You slightly side step from the doorway, attempting to make the introduction maybe a little less agonizingly embarrassing by, oh I don't know, leaving the situation.

Luke follows shortly behind you, grabbing on to your fingers as you lead him into the living room where everyone is sitting, “This is Luke everybody!” You say quickly, getting it out of the way.

Your sister’s have heard a lot about Luke and had known you two were dating long before your parents did, so you weren't worried at all about what they would think of him. “Nice to finally meet you!” Your oldest sister says.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you!” Your middle sister says with a smile.

Luke stands and smiles at the three of them sitting on the couch together as they greet him, he waits before returning pleasantries, seemingly learning his lesson from before.

After being greeted, You and Luke make your way to the love seat across from the couch and take a seat as your dad hands you a bowl of popcorn before he sits down, which you graciously accept, being too busy to remember to have had dinner that day.

Luke looks over to you as you adjust yourself closer to him on the couch and happily smile up at him trying to ease his mind, knowing he is much more comfortable in new situations when he knows that you are comfortable.

“So Luke, you play hockey at the University of Michigan?” Your dad asks an obvious question and points to Luke’s Umich hockey hat that he constantly wears around you because he left it at your apartment when he visited a few months ago and says he will remember to take home with him if he wears it, but never does.

“Yeah I do, I've had a really great couple of years actually, I’ve learned a lot. it’s been really fun.”

Your dad nods his head smiling, getting ready to ask a million more questions about hockey, school, Luke’s family, etc. You can tell he is just getting started.

Thankfully he is cut off by your youngest sister, “I have a question Luke, did you get her into liking hockey? Cuz’ she never used to like it until you two started dating but she’ll probably deny that…” she says with a smirk on her face, knowing that you started enjoying hockey long before you and Luke started dating and just wants to annoy you with the question.

“You know what, now that you mention it, I think I did get her into it, we do go to a lot of games together now but I don’t think she’d ever been before I took her.” He replies, laughing and nudging your arm a little as you squint your eyes at him but have a mouth full of popcorn and are unable to reply to his quip.

“Anyway, what movie are we watching tonight?” You ask once you’ve fully swallowed your food, knowing that your family usually watch a movie if you’re all together on a friday night.

“I was thinking we could watch the new Batman, have you seen that one Luke?” Your dad asks him, completely ignoring the fact that you were the one that asked about the movie in the first place.

“Yeah I have! I really liked it so I’d watch it again if that’s what we decide on.” Luke says enthusiastically, evidently being more agreeable than usual, just slightly sucking up to your dad.

You look over at Luke with a smirk as he avoids your eye contact, knowing that you are onto him.

“Then that’s what we’ll watch!” Your dad says as he swiftly grabs the remote, turning on the movie and goes to settle into his spot on the couch beside your stepmom.

“You’re lucky we all like this movie…” Your middle sister says as she looks over at the two of you shaking her head jokingly.

Your sisters are teasing both you and Luke, knowing your dad is pandering to your interests because he is a fan of Luke and wants him to enjoy his time here.

Luke just laughs at her remark and looks at me with a warm smile.

“I am lucky ya know..” Luke whispers in your ear as the movie starts and the attention is finally off of the two of you.

“Me too.” You say back to him quietly as you squeeze his hand in yours, bringing it up to your lips to place a soft kiss.

You already know that Luke would promptly reject a kiss on the lips at this moment, because of how aware he is of your family sitting on the other side of the room.

“My dad loves you” You whisper sincerely into his ear with a giggle, teasing him.

“What? Really? …Does he?” Luke asks in a low voice and you just look at him, giggling softly, and give him a hard time by not answering his questions.

“Does he really like me?” he questions again quietly after you still don’t answer him, letting his curiosity get the best of him.

Not being able to take him seriously, you burst into a fit of laughter at how curious and eager he is to know what your dad thinks of him.

“Can you two please be quiet over there? We’re watching this movie because of you, so you better pay attention.” Your youngest sister says sassily.

Luke hastily apologizes as he covers your mouth and you continue laughing into his hand.

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mae-gi-writes · 11 months

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01. the note under your desk | minho (xo kitty)

”it all started with a note under her desk.”

genre: mentions of suicide, professional swimmer athlete! Minho x marine biology student! Reader (Nina Shim)

Thanks for reading <3 @myahwritesss @sparkysparking101 @suzzie63 @upsidedownjill @lovely-hao @lupinette @seoli-16 @rory-cakes

——— masterlist | 01. DEAR K. | NEXT ———

Everything sucks.

From the university, to the students that inhabit its walls, to the dining hall food that has nothing but salt to make up for its lack of taste, to the annoying jocks that keep partying every night, to the girls who can’t stop gossiping about who got laid first—

Yes. Nina Shim is convinced that everything sucks indeed.

Opening her door to her shared apartment dormitory, she catches sight of the stale pan that has been sitting over the stove for over two weeks, despite her reminder to her roommate this morning that this should be gone by the time she gets back. Nina sighs, pushing off her boots in one swift, clumsy motion before staggering over to the small kitchen island that makes up most of the kitchen space, grocery bags in hand her backpack still slung over her one shoulder.

October is almost over in Toronto and people have been hyping up the idea of Halloween since last week. As Nina puts away her stuff in the fridge, she takes note of the scattered pumpkin-coloured paper streamed across the couch, the paper-mache ghosts in a stack on the coffee table. Her roommate, as depressed as she states she is, is gearing up quite nicely for Halloween. Too bad she can’t be as excited to clean up her own flat space. Nina has been granted all of that in her stead.

And it isn’t that Nina wants to complain. She’s not one to, has a pretty high tolerance level if she says so herself. But the thing is, it’s starting to get on her nerves. She might not be as outgoing, as carefree, as Hanni is, but that doesn’t mean that she needs to clean up after the latter like a mother would do for her children.

She has a life, even if that extends to merely hanging out in the University Aquarium lab and checking in on the goldfish every now and then.

Her phone rings in the silent stillness of her flat. Nina quickly fishes it out from her back pocket, pressing the green call button before placing it at her ear, “hello?”

“Nina!” Her mother’s voice is so warm on the other end of the line. So warm that it makes Nina’s eyes sting with tears, “how are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” she forces the words, glad that her mother can’t see her face, for she would’ve read right through her like an open book. Instead, she puts away the remaining biscuits in the cupboard above her head, “and you? How’s dad? He’s feeling better?”

“Oh you know how he is, always so stubborn,” her mother sighs, “he doesn’t want to take his medicine! And then when he falls even sicker he complains like a baby! Aiya, sometimes I wish he would just stop making my life so difficult—“

On and on she goes and that causes Nina’s mouth to twitch upwards into a smile. She misses her mother dearly, more than she will ever admit, and hearing everything that’s been happening back home makes her feel a little better about being far away despite it all.

“—but Nina, tell me, how has your roommate been? Still as dirty as always?” Her mother’s question brings her back to attention.

The girl leans against the kitchen counter, “she’s alright…just, yeah—not clean. But what else is new?”

“You should report her, you know. It’s a violation of your space and if you can't cope then--"

"Ma it's fine. Just--leave it."

"I'm just saying it would help."

"Anyway, how's dad doing?"

"Dad's been...he's been good."

"Going to his appointments I hope?" Nina asks while pulling out a glass from the drying rack.

"Yeah, it's tough for him. You know how much he hates it."

"Yeah I know."

"And you? We never get news, Nina. How's school? Do you go out with friends? You should--" she's grateful when she hears someone call her mother from the other end of the line and quickly fishes for an excuse, "oh it's okay mom, you can go. I'll catch up on homework anyway."

Her mother leaves the call with another apology, and when Nina cuts off the call and tosses her phone back onto the table, she lets out a prominent sigh. Looking up at the ceiling, she forces her eyes to stay dry, to not cry. Because crying means that she’s giving up.

She’s never felt so alone.

———

“I can’t fail.”

Minho’s seatmate and good friend going by the name of Q, just chuckles before looking down at his friend’s paper, “uh sorry bud, but I think you already did.”

“What happened to you?” His other friend Dae asks with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don’t know, man,” Minho musses up his hair and moans as if the world is about to end. Well, to him it is.

“Maybe you need a tutor,” Q suggests as the class slowly starts to file out of class.

“Or maybe Mrs. Chung hates me,” Minho says snarkily.

“Or maybe,” Dae’s hand falls onto his shoulder, “you need to get your head back in the game. You haven’t really been focused lately.”

“Yeah he’s got a point,” Q says, “anything you’d like to get off your chest?”

“Girl problems?”

“Family problems?”

“Love problems?”

“Oh shut up,” Minho rolls his eyes, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as the trio exit the lecture hall and file out into the main corridor where lingering students are waiting for the next class to begin.

“You know what’s your problem?” Dae suddenly says.

Minho looks at him with a raised brow.

“You’re skipping too many lectures.”

“Aha,” Q snaps his fingers, “now that, my friend, makes a lot of sense.”

“In my defense I have to—“

“Yes yes, we know, you have a rigorous swimming schedule,” Dae rolls his eyes, “but I think maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to Coach Choi about it. He might understand.”

“You mean, he’ll kill me,” mutters Minho sourly.

“Or maybe you need help from someone smart,” Q reasons, “why don’t you ask uhm—what’s her name again? The girl who’s always sitting in the front row by the right corner?”

“Ah Kimberley Chen? Yeah she’s hella smart. I’m sure she can help you,” Dae says.

While it sounds like a good idea, Minho’s pride cannot take it. Him? Asking for anything from anyone? He’d rather eat chicken feet, and god knows he hates that stuff.

Though…that doesn’t mean he can’t ask her in secret.

So that’s what he decides to do a few days after their small discussion. He stalks her social media accounts with no success. Apparently, this Kimberley Chen character doesn’t want any distractions from the digital world, hence her lack of presence on Facebook or Instagram.

Minho had no other choice than to stalk her in-between classes. Finding out where this famous Kimberley Chen sits is an easy feat considering that she’s a creature of habit. Having gathered some information on her beforehand, Minho had found out that she’s actually in the block right after his lectures, meaning that he has full chance of getting his personalized note to her.

He waits for the right moment. As soon as the bell rings to dismiss class, Minho quietly sneaks between the rows of desks before smoothly slipping in the note in the shelf right underneath. Then, assuring that no one has spotted him doing such a thing, quickly walks out with his head held high.

He should probably mentally remind himself to check that said desk during their next lecture.

———

“There’s a study group happening in the library. You coming?”

Nina shrugs at her seatmate, knowing full well that it doesn’t matter whether she comes or not. The girl had just been asking out of politeness.

Honestly, her days at university had proven to her that it was almost impossible to make friends on her own. That, or maybe she had just been destined to be alone.

It hadn’t been the case in high school. Nina remembered the happiness, the excitement about attending events with her friends.

Now, she barely had any energy to get out of her house.

“Okay well, if you wanna come, it’s at three thirty,” the girl whose name she doesn’t remember gives her a quick wave of her glossy nail-polished fingers, “bye!”

“Bye,” Nina mumbles to no one in particular. She lets out a soft breath, waiting for the rest of the seats to empty out, before quickly gathering her stuff from her shelf underneath.

It’s as she’s packing up her books that a note falls from her stack. Curious, Nina reaches down to pick it up, turning the plain white letter over. No name. Weird.

Was it money?

Would it be rude of her to check?

It isn’t addressed to anyone, meaning that Nina isn’t practically breaking any boundaries by doing so.

Maybe it belongs to someone. Someone important.

She lets her curiosity get the better of her, breaking off the sealed tip and opening up the page as her eyes scan the contents:

Dear K,

My name is Minho. You’ve probably heard of me. After all, I’m on the professional athletics team. I’m writing you this to ask you for your services. I heard that you’re the top student in class. Well, since I am failing Mrs. Chung’s class, I would really like some help with some additional notes or some studying sessions. You will be rewarded for this.

Let me know if you’re down for it. Cheers.

Minho

Whoever this Minho guy is sure has some great nerve. Nina wonders who in the world would have such a big ego to write such a thing. It sounds almost too absurd to be true.

Wait…Minho. The name somehow sounds familiar…

Or not.

She crumples it up in growing annoyance and is about to throw it away, when she thinks better of it and slowly un-crumples the note.

Maybe she should answer back. Teach him a lesson. And what is this about “You will be rewarded for this”?

Uncapping a pen and flipping the paper over, Nina bends over the table and starts scribbling down her response. Satisfied, she then folds it back into its letter and places it under the desk.

Reward, my ass.

———

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toasttt11 · 2 months

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your simon

March 25, 2024

Octavia woke up to the sound of familiar sound of rain, she shifted slightly feeling Louie in a little ball laying againt Octavia’s side. Octavia fondly smiled having less alone with having her Louie with her everyday.

Octavia checked her phone seeing it was already past 10:00 am as she didn’t have a morning practice today and her team was given an rest day before the Devils game tomorrow, she knew she did have to get up and start her day as she can finally see her twin after two months and Jack as she’s picking them up after their practice to spend the day and night with them.

Octavia started sitting up and felt her puppy stir slightly, Octavia got up and headed to the bathroom doing her morning routine before heading back into her bedroom and slipping on her slippers and Quinn’s hoodie, she could she Louie wide awake starting towards her as she came out to the bathroom.

“Hi Lou.” Octavia cooed softly giving her child lots of pets and straches, “Do you need to go outside?” Louie barked once making Octavia laugh as she picked him up.

Octavia walked out of her bedroom and down the hallway to her art room. The Art room has a covered balcony and Octavia turned it into a little run for Louie as most mornings in Toronto is raining or snowing and Louie gets cold to fast to try and make him go to the bathroom in the snow.

Octavia set him down on the fake grass, and let him do his business as she stepped inside the art room leaving the door open until Louie was done. She heard a small little bark and looked over seeing Louie patiently sitting at the door waiting to come, “Come in love.” Louie quickly trotted over to her nudging his head at her legs making her smile and pick him up.

They headed down to the hall into the kitchen, she turned her coffee machine on and started brewing her coffee. Octavia scooped dog food setting it into Louie’s bowl making sure the other was filled with water, she set him down letting him have breakfast.

Octavia happily took her first sip of her coffee before dreading to make breakfast but knew she couldn’t just have coffee for breakfast, she quickly make a simple piece of toast and sat on her couch enjoying her piece of toast and coffee before feeling little paws and looked down seeing Louie done with his breakfast and waiting to be picked up, Octavia picked him up and could tell he was cold, Louie quickly dove into the front pocket of her hoodie his whole body easily fitting in the pocket and warming up quickly.

Octavia scrolled her phone drinking her coffee for a while as Louie contently warmed up in her pocket.

Octavia may of ended up sitting there for an hour before reluctantly getting up, Louie still laying in her pocket. She set her mug in the sink before heading back into her bedroom, she quickly changed into grey sweatpants, a white hoodie, and slipped on her black high top converses

She picked Louie up and brought him to her bed laying him down and covering him up completely with the comforter, “I’ll be back soon.” She pressed a kiss to his fluffy head and walked out of her room grabbing her keys and wallet putting it into her pocket, she grabbed her leather jacket that was hanging on the hook by the door putting it on before locking her apartment door and heading out of the building into the parking garage and getting into the car.

She drove the short distance to the Maple Leafs Arena and parking in the garage, she got out of her car and walked through the halls saying her hellos to a lot of the staff as she walked in. Octavia saw the Devils weren’t on the ice meaning they were done with practice and getting cleaned up in the lcoker room.

Octavia only waited a few minutes before Nico and Jack walked out, Jack smiled at this sister walking over to her pulling her into a hug, “Hi Moony.” Jack smiled pulling back from his sister.

“Hi Rowdy.” Octavia smiled slightly nodding at brother, looking at Nico and giving him a fist bump, a lot of the Devils players were alreadly walking out by the time Luke came out.

Luke smiled wildly at the sight is his twin sister, they quickly hugged each other tightly, both relaxing into the hug, “Hey Win.” Luke pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“Hi Lucky.” Octavia smiled in the hug holding her twin tightly. They pulled away from the hug reluctantly, and turned to Jack ready to start leaving when a voice called Octavia’s name.

“Octavia?” Simon accent rang out in the hallway when he called out her name, knowing that shade of blonde hair anyway, especially because he knows she’s part of the Maple Leafs.

Octavia quickly turned around at the sound of the accent, “Simon.” Octavia breathed out with a smile forming on her face, she quickly walked over to him as he gently pulled her into a hug, “Hi.” Octavia whispered having knowing she would see him this weekend but didn’t know when.

“Hi.” Simon smiled back as they pulled out of the hug, “It’s been a while.” Simon crookedly grin at the girl he’s had a crush on for years now.

“It has.” Octavia smiled softly, something that she doesn’t do often.

Luke raised an eyebrow at his twin and his teammate trying to figure out how they know evan other, “How do you know each other?” Luke questioned.

Octavia turned her head looking at her twin like he is stupid, “Really?” She gave him a certain a look making his eyes widen looking towards Simon.

“Wait my teammate Simon, is that Simon!” Luke realized looking at his sister.

“He was my friend first.” Octavia sassed back to her twin. Jack and Nico shared a look, having an idea something is between Simon and Octavia.

“That Simon?” Simon mischievously smiled at her, Octavia fondly rolled her eyes feeling her cheeks warm, she pushed him gently with her arm, “Shush you.” Luke smiled at his sister seeing her with the person she hasn’t stop talking about the last four years.

“Wait how do you meet each other?” Jack crossed his arms playing his protective big brother making Octavia roll her eyes at him.

“We played against each other a few years ago in WJC.” Simon explained not telling them how he truthfully met Octavia, Octavia smiled slighty enjoying he kept it to them.

“Alright Louie is waiting for us.” Octavia reminded her brothers, ignoring the red on her cheeks and the pounding of her heat as she stood next to Simon.

“Lou Dog! What are we waiting for.” Jack cheered excitedly always loving that little sausage dog.

“See you on the ice tomorrow?” Simon softly asked her, Octavia nodded with a little smile before starting walking away with her brothers.

“Do not say a word.” Octavia hissed at her two brothers as they started walking away.

“Wait but how didn’t i know that your Simon is my teammate!” Luke whispered over to his twin, trying to figure out how he never knew.

“I thought you knew!” Octavia exclaimed back, “I didn’t know that you didn’t.”

“That’s explains a lot.” Luke slowly nodded thinking about when Simon asked about Octavia and he was confused how Simon knew her.

“Your Simon?” Jack teasingly smirked at his baby sister enjoying all of this.

“No.” Octavia blunted replied rolling her eyes at Jack.

Jack just smirked seeing the slight red on her cheeks and was enjoying his sister actually having something that he could tease her about.

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janicho88 · 10 months

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When It All Falls Apart -Chapter 6

Pairing- Jensen x ex!Padalecki Reader

Word count- 2,454

Warnings- Some language. Drinking, dealing with a breakup. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-Sorry for the last chapter, but you all had to know it was coming. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural. Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns. Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right? While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere. Distance is only the start of your troubles.

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Walking out of Jensen’s apartment building you hail a cab to take you to an airport hotel. You manage to keep yourself together until you check in and close the hotel room door behind you. This weekend really couldn’t not have gone much worse. You don’t bother changing out of your clothes before you collapse down on the bed in tears.

Back in his apartment, Jensen is pacing the floor and keeps looking at the door. ‘What the hell just happened,’ he thinks to himself, ‘there is no way things have really been as bad as she thinks.’ Grabbing the half full bottle of whiskey off the counter he takes it to the couch where he drops down in the corner spot. By the time he passes out, the alcohol is much closer to the bottom of the bottle.

You aren’t able to get much sleep Sunday night and you get yourself over to the airport before 5 am. Just in time to find out your flight has been delayed because of the incoming storms. Sitting down in an empty area near the terminal, you pull your hat down further to help hide your face. The black clouds and claps of thunder are very fitting of the current turbulence you feel in your heart.

It is a few hours late, but the plane is finally ready to board. With the layover in Atlanta, you should be arriving back in Texas around 3pm instead of 11:30am. Maybe no one will notice you’re coming home too early then. You aren’t really up to rehashing everything with Gen and Jared when you get back. You didn’t think you would be able to, but you manage to sleep most of the way to Atlanta, making that flight feel much shorter.

Your family isn’t expecting you for a few more hours, so you take a cab back home instead of calling one of them to pick you up. Thankfully, no one is home when you arrive. A half an hour before your flight is supposed to land, you text Jared that you are back early, and have a ride home. You’ve had a little bit of time now to try and make yourself presentable enough to face them, without giving anything away.

Jared and crew arrive home a short time later with some pizza, and you join them in the dining room.

“How was the trip?” your brother asks, around a mouthful of food.

“Okay. Toronto’s a nice city. Saw the aquarium, CN Tower, and did some shopping.”

“How’s Ackles? Is he ready to come home?”

“He’s okay, really busy. I don’t know. He seems to be having a good ole time up there,” you don’t notice the bitterness in your answer, but Jared and Gen do.

“Tom,” Gen turns to her son, “why don’t you go play in the living room?”

“Okay,” the little guy doesn’t take much persuading.

“How are you and Jensen?” she asks once Tom is gone.

“We’ve been better,” you answer vaguely.

“Did this trip help at all?”

“It’s made where we stand pretty clear.”

“That’s good right?” you brother questions.

“Where is that?” Comes from Gen.

You clean up your spot and set your plate in the dishwasher, on your way out of the kitchen you pause and turn to face them briefly. “We broke up,” you announce before disappearing upstairs. Before you shut the bedroom door you hear Gen yelling.

“Jared Tristen Padalecki put that phone down now!”

“I’m going to…”

“Do nothing to interfere in this.”

You aren’t surprised when there is a brief knock right before Jared enters the room. He walks around the room for a moment before sitting down across from you on the bed. “So what happened?”

“I was right, our relationship has run its course.”

“What did he do?”

“Jared, you know I love you, but I’m not letting you put yourself in the middle of this. Some relationships just don’t work out. Jensen’s life and mine just don’t fit together anymore. He has a lot going on, and I just don’t have a place in his life.”

You see your brother clenching his jaw working over what you said, you continue before he can say anything. “The two of you are best friends, what happened between him and I shouldn’t change that. Please don’t let it.”

“I told him if he ever hurt you, I would kick his ass.”

“I believe that, but I’m asking you not to. You also told a few of my exes that, and never followed up, don’t start now.”

“First time for everything,” he mumbles.

“I wish things didn’t turn out the way they did, I really do Jare. I guess it’s better to realize it’s not going to work out now then before things go any further.”

“I don’t understand how this happened, I know Ackles was crazy about you.”

“Was, " is the keyword in that sentence. Can you please just drop it?”

He comes over to give you a hug before leaving the room. When he opens the door, Gen is standing on the other side.

“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have to stop Jared from doing anything crazy,” she says as she walks in.

Jared gives her a kiss before he leaves and she joins you on the bed. “Seriously, are you okay? I know you won’t bring Jared in the middle of this.”

“No, this fucking sucks,” you tell her as you start to cry again. She moves next to you and wraps you in a big hug.

“I’m so sorry sweetie. I’m here for whatever you need, let it all out.”

“I really thought he was my forever, ya know.”

“What happened this weekend?”

You go on to tell her all about your time in Toronto, ending with the breakup. “I think a part of me is always going to be in love with him. Right now, I can’t even think of seeing him again just knowing how hard it’s going to be.”

“It’s going to sting for a while, but you’re going to get through it. You have friends and family that are going to be there for you to lean on. You said it yourself, the way things have been lately, you didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.”

The two of you sit together a little bit longer before she has to go deal with a shouting Tom. You turn the television on to try and distract yourself before going to sleep. Maybe Bones will help with that.

Up in Toronto, Jensen’s day hasn’t gone off much better. He is awoken by the ringing of his phone. Leaning up from the couch he makes the mistake of opening his eyes and the bright sunlight is not welcomed by his hangover. Closing his eyes he tries reaching around for his phone before finally locating it.

“‘Lo,” he answers.

“Bloody hell, are you still in bed mate?” Karl asks on the other end.

“Never made it there, what’s up?”

“We were supposed to meet for breakfast ten minutes ago before going to work on this scene. Jack, Anthony and Erin are already here. I take it you aren’t going to make it.”

“Fuck.”

“Think you might have already done that last night with your girl.”

Jensen lets out a dry laugh while holding his head. “I’ll meet you at the studio.”

Forcing himself from the couch, he makes his way to the kitchen for some water and pain pills. Drowning those he attempts to get himself ready for the day. Grabbing sunglasses and a hat before leaving the apartment he stops for a greasy fast food breakfast on his way to set.

He is the last one to arrive, everyone else is standing at the back of the room waiting for the choreographer in charge of this fight scene to finish getting ready. Eric is off to the side going through notes with the director.

“Where’s your better half? She comin around for a tour today?” Karl asks, looking around.

“She’s gone,” Jensen says lowly before taking a drink of his coffee.

“I thought she said her flight was this afternoon?”

Jensen just shrugs.

Karl takes a minute and studies the man who has become a friend to him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Jensen walks over to a chair and sits down by himself waiting for things to start.

They have been given instructions for this scene yesterday and today, some of it has even been demonstrated. They go through the first rehearsal, and there are some mistakes all around. By the fourth time, it seems to be mostly Jensen who is struggling with it. They call for a break and Karl takes him off to the side.

“I’m going to ask this one more time. What is going on?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s a load of shit. You’re fucking awful out there, and you smell like a damn brewery.”

Jensen sighs and turns away running a hand down his face before looking back to his friend. “Y/N left me last night.”

“To go back home? We’ve got less than a month left of filming now, before long you’ll be back home with her. Or hop a plane to go see her this weekend. Pull it together, mate.”

Karl starts to turn back around, but the next sentence from Jensen stops him. “No, she left me. Said I was an asshole and she couldn’t take things anymore. Or something like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jensen just nods, “let’s try this again.”

It takes a few more tries, but they all finally get it down the way Kripke and the director want it. As they are all grabbing their things, Karl goes over to talk to Jensen, but Eric beats him to it.

“I heard what you said to Karl. I think you and I need to talk.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything as he follows his boss and long time friend out of the room and to his own trailer. Eric waits for him to open it up before following inside.

“What’s going on?”

“I thought you said you heard what I said to Karl?” Jensen retorts as he grabs two waters out of his fridge.

“I did, and I also talked to a very upset Y/N last night at the restaurant.”

“I’m sorry she bugged you to bring her along.”

“She didn’t, I ran into her in the elevator. Why didn’t you bring her, or invite her along?”

“She isn't part of the cast.”

“I know this group and they include friends and significant others when they go out if someone is in town. Have things really gotten that bad between the two of you?”

“That’s what she seems to believe. I thought we were fine. Things have been busy, I don’t see her much, but I didn’t think it was anywhere near as bad as she seems to.”

“You were putty in that girl's hands the first time you met. Took you long enough to act on those feelings. Watching you last night, today even. I don’t think she is too far off from her claim. Maybe this role is getting in your head a little bit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jensen questions him with a glare.

“Think about it. You were actually so pissed off that I brought her along last night, you made her leave. The guy she used to date, would have gotten up the moment he saw her, had his arm around her the whole night showing her off to his friends. I’ve never known you to be upset at seeing her.”

Jensen doesn’t respond to that.

“I remember walking by you facetiming each other in between scenes if one of you wasn’t on set, even before you started dating. I barely hear you talk about her now, let alone talking to her.”

“No phones on set policy here, remember.”

It’s Eric’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’ve been a friend a long time, and I would hate to see you lose probably the best thing that has ever happened to you, because you are being an idiot.”

“She left me.”

“When you go home after filming wraps, and you have a chance to get your head out of your ass, you might want to buy some knee pads.”

“What for?”

“You’re going to have a lot of groveling to do. Before she left, she asked me to keep an eye on you, she still cares about you.” Having said his peace Eric walks out of the trailer.

The door doesn’t stay shut for long, Karl is coming in next. “So what happened?”

“Eric talked to Y/N last night, apparently he seems to see her side.”

Karl stares at Jensen before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “I mean what happened with you and your girl? I was a little surprised she left the restaurant.”

“I told her she shouldn’t have made Eric bring her.”

“So you were just going to leave her home alone?”

“Why is everyone so caught up on that? It was a cast get together.”

Karl holds up his hands. “So she left because you made her go home?”

Jensen starts pacing his trailer. “Why is that everyone’s hangup here? Everything I do is for us, yet she can’t see that. I work hard so that we can have a good life. She says we never talk, that’s not true. Then she tells me she doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I don’t know what more she wants from me. All I do is for her.”

Karl is quiet for a minute, “this about forgetting her birthday?”

“I didn’t forget, I just didn't realize it was June already. Besides, I made that up to her already.”

“I see, she seemed like a great girl. Sorry, things didn’t work out for you two. Do us all a favor tonight, we got some big scenes to film tomorrow, try and keep it sober.” With that Karl makes his exit also.

Jensen throws his bottle of water across the trailer in frustration. Grabbing his bag he heads out to the car to get out of here and back to the apartment where no one will give him any more shit tonight.

Despite Karl’s earlier remark, he pulls a beer out of the fridge as soon as he’s out of the shower, he finds himself in the bedroom staring at the picture of the two of you on his nightstand. ‘How the hell did we get to this point?’ he thinks to himself as he drowns the bottle and tips the picture down. The sight of your smiling face hurts too much to see.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 7

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#supernatural #jensen ackles rpf #jensen x female!reader #jensen ackles x reader #When It All Falls Apart

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perfectlyripeclementine · 5 months

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queer novel masterlist

cleaning up that post i've got running with books that touch on queerness. these are not organized in any particular fashion, or gathered along any particular theme. these are just gay novels i've either read and enjoyed or would like to read. blurbs are the books' own descriptions of themselves. not all these blurbs mention the queer stuff, but trust, if it's on this list it's in there. last updated 9 dec 23.

lists: sapphic books by Palestinian authors; butch memoirs; another list of masc, butch and stud books; a digital library of trans-related content; free access to the works of Leslie Feinberg.

After Sappho, Selby Wynn Schwartz. "“The first thing we did was change our names. We were going to be Sappho,” so begins this intrepid debut novel, centuries after the Greek poet penned her lyric verse. Ignited by the same muse, a myriad of women break from their small, predetermined lives for seemingly disparate paths: in 1892, Rina Faccio trades her needlepoint for a pen; in 1902, Romaine Brooks sails for Capri with nothing but her clotted paintbrushes; and in 1923, Virginia Woolf writes: “I want to make life fuller and fuller.” Writing in cascading vignettes, Selby Wynn Schwartz spins an invigorating tale of women whose narratives converge and splinter as they forge queer identities and claim the right to their own lives. A luminous meditation on creativity, education, and identity, After Sappho announces a writer as ingenious as the trailblazers of our past."

All Boys Aren't Blue, George M. Johnson In a series of personal essays, prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist George M. Johnson's All Boys Aren't Blue explores his childhood, adolescence, and college years in New Jersey and Virginia.

The works of Dionne Brand: In Another Place, Not Here. Beautiful and meticulously wrought, set in both Toronto and the Caribbean, this astonishing novel gives voice to the power of love and belonging in a story of two women, profoundly different, each in her own spiritual exile.

Love Enough. In Love Enough, the sharp beauty of Brand's writing draws us effortlessly into the intersecting stories of her characters caught in the middle of choices, apprehensions, fears. Each of the tales here—June's, Bedri's, Da'uud's, Lia's opens a different window on the city they all live in, mostly in parallel, but occasionally, delicately, touching and crossing one another. Each story radiates other stories. In these pages, the urban landscape cannot be untangled from the emotional one; they mingle, shift and cleave to one another.

The young man Bedri experiences the terrible isolation brought about by an act of violence, while his father, Da'uud, casualty of a geopolitical conflict, driving a taxi, is witness to curious gestures of love and anger; Lia faces the sometimes unbridgeable chasms of family; and fierce June, ambivalent and passionate with her string of lovers, now in middle age discovers: "There is nothing universal or timeless about this love business. It is hard if you really want to do it right." Brand is our greatest observer—of actions, of emotions, of the little things that often go unnoticed but can mean the turn of a day. At once lucid and dream-like, Love Enough is a profoundly modern work that speaks to the most fundamental questions of how we live now.

What We All Long For. Tuyen is an aspiring artist and the daughter of Vietnamese parents who've never recovered from losing one of their children while in the rush to flee Vietnam in the 1970s. She rejects her immigrant family's hard-won lifestyle, and instead lives in a rundown apartment with friends—each of whom is grappling with their own familial complexities and heartache.

By turns thrilling and heartbreaking, Tuyen's lost brother—who has since become a criminal in the Thai underworld—journeys to Toronto to find his long-lost family. As Quy's arrival nears, tensions build, friendships are tested, and an unexpected encounter will forever alter the lives of Tuyen and her friends. Gripping at times, heartrending at others, What We All Long For is an ode to a generation of longing and identity, and to the rhythms and pulses of a city and its burgeoning, questioning youth.

The Human Origins of Beatrice Porter and Other Essential Ghosts, Soraya Palmer. Sisters Zora and Sasha Porter are drifting apart. Bearing witness to their father’s violence and their mother’s worsening illness, an unsettled Zora escapes into her journal, dreaming of being a writer, while Sasha discovers sex and chest binding, spending more time with her new girlfriend than at home.

But the sisters, like their parents, must come together to answer to something more ancient and powerful than they know—and reckon with a family secret buried in the past. A tale told from the perspective of a mischievous narrator, featuring the Rolling Calf who haunts butchers, Mama Dglo who lives in the ocean, a vain tiger, and an outsmarted snake, The Human Origins of Beatrice Porter and Other Essential Ghosts is set in a world as alive and unpredictable as Helen Oyeyemi’s.

Telling of the love between sisters who don’t always see eye to eye, this extraordinary debut novel is a celebration of the power of stories, asking, What happens to us when our stories are erased? Do we disappear? Or do we come back haunting?

Before We Were Trans, Kit Heyam. Today’s narratives about trans people tend to feature individuals with stable gender identities that fit neatly into the categories of male or female. Those stories, while important, fail to account for the complex realities of many trans people’s lives. Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Before We Were Trans transports us from Renaissance Venice to seventeenth-century Angola, from Edo Japan to early America, and looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures. 

Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers, Lillian Faderman. As Lillian Faderman writes, there are "no constants with regard to lesbianism," except that lesbians prefer women. In this groundbreaking book, she reclaims the history of lesbian life in twentieth-century America, tracing the evolution of lesbian identity and subcultures from early networks to more recent diverse lifestyles. She draws from journals, unpublished manuscripts, songs, media accounts, novels, medical literature, pop culture artifacts, and oral histories by lesbians of all ages and backgrounds, uncovering a narrative of uncommon depth and originality.

note from roo: essay in this about how queer white women engaged with Harlem should be essential reading for white queers who enter spaces (like drag spaces, ballroom spaces etc) that are informed by Black culture.

Land of Milk and Honey, C Pam Zhang. A smog has spread. Food crops are rapidly disappearing. A chef escapes her dying career in a dreary city to take a job at a decadent mountaintop colony seemingly free of the world's troubles.

There, the sky is clear again. Rare ingredients abound. Her enigmatic employer and his visionary daughter have built a lush new life for the global elite, one that reawakens the chef to the pleasures of taste, touch, and her own body.In this atmosphere of hidden wonders and cool, seductive violence, the chef's boundaries undergo a thrilling erosion. Soon she is pushed to the center of a startling attempt to reshape the world far beyond the plate.

Sensuous and surprising, joyous and bitingly sharp, told in language as alluring as it is original, Land of Milk and Honey lays provocatively bare the ethics of seeking pleasure in a dying world. It is a daringly imaginative exploration of desire and deception, privilege and faith, and the roles we play to survive. Most of all, it is a love letter to food, to wild delight, and to the transformative power of a woman embracing her own appetite.

Grievers and Maroons by adrienne maree brown. Grievers is the story of a city so plagued by grief that it can no longer function. Dune’s mother is patient zero of a mysterious illness that stops people in their tracks—in mid-sentence, mid-action, mid-life—casting them into a nonresponsive state from which no one recovers. Dune must navigate poverty and the loss of her mother as Detroit’s hospitals, morgues, and graveyards begin to overflow. As the quarantined city slowly empties of life, she investigates what caused the plague, and what might end it. In anguish, she follows in the footsteps of her late researcher father, who has a physical model of Detroit’s history and losses set up in their basement. She dusts the model off and begins tracking the sick and dying, discovering patterns, finding comrades in curiosity, conspiracies for the fertile ground of the city, and the unexpected magic that emerges when the debt of grief is cleared.

In the second installment of the Grievers trilogy, adrienne maree brown brings to bear her background as an activist rooted in Detroit. The pandemic of Syndrome H-8 continues to ravage the city of Detroit and everyone in Dune's life. In Maroons, she must learn what community and connection mean in the lonely wake of a fatal virus. Emerging from grief to follow a subtle path of small pleasures through an abandoned urban landscape, she begins finding other unlikely survivors with little in common but the will to live. Together they begin to piece together the puzzle of their survival, and that of the city itself.

Elastoe, Darcie Little Badger. "Elatsoe—Ellie for short—lives in an alternate contemporary America shaped by the ancestral magics and knowledge of its Indigenous and immigrant groups. She can raise the spirits of dead animals—most importantly, her ghost dog Kirby. When her beloved cousin dies, all signs point to a car crash, but his ghost tells her otherwise: He was murdered. Who killed him and how did he die? With the help of her family, her best friend Jay, and the memory great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother, Elatsoe, must track down the killer and unravel the mystery of this creepy town and it’s dark past. But will the nefarious townsfolk and a mysterious Doctor stop her before she gets started? A breathtaking debut novel featuring an asexual, Apache teen protagonist, Elatsoe combines mystery, horror, noir, ancestral knowledge, haunting illustrations, fantasy elements, and is one of the most-talked about debuts of the year."

Sordidez, by E.G. Condé "In the ruin created by climate disaster and a devastating civil war, survivors in Puerto Rico and the Yucatán peninsula struggle to rebuild their communities and heal their lands, but powerful forces from abroad plot against them. Desperate for answers, Puerto Rican journalist Vero Diaz seeks the counsel of the Maya revolutionary known as the Loba Roja, triggering a chain of events that will forever reshape his destiny and the fate of the Caribbean world."

When They Tell You To Be Good, by Prince Shakur "When They Tell You to Be Good charts Shakur’s political coming of age from closeted queer kid in a Jamaican family to radicalized adult traveler, writer, and anarchist in Obama and Trump’s America. Shakur journeys from France to the Philippines, South Korea, and elsewhere to discover the depths of the Black experience, and engages in deep political questions while participating in movements like Black Lives Matter and Standing Rock. By the end, Shakur reckons with his identity, his family’s immigration, and the intergenerational impacts of patriarchal and colonial violence."

My Government Means to Kill Me, Rasheed Newson "Earl "Trey" Singleton III arrives in New York City with only a few dollars in his pocket. Born into a wealthy Black Indianapolis family, at 17, he is ready to leave his overbearing parents and their expectations behind.

In the city, Trey meets up with a cast of characters that changes his life forever. He volunteers at a renegade home hospice for AIDS patients, and after being put to the test by gay rights activists, becomes a member of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP). Along the way Trey attempts to navigate past traumas and searches for ways to maintain familial relationships—all while seeking the meaning of life amid so much death.

Vibrant, humorous, and fraught with entanglements, Rasheed Newson’s My Government Means to Kill Me is an exhilarating, fast-paced coming-of-age story that lends itself to a larger discussion about what it means for a young gay Black man in the mid-1980s to come to terms with his role in the midst of a political and social reckoning."

Where There Was Fire, John Manuel Arias Costa Rica, 1968. When a lethal fire erupts at the American Fruit Company’s most lucrative banana plantation burning all evidence of a massive cover-up, and her husband disappears, the future of Teresa’s family is changed forever.

Now, twenty-seven years later, Teresa and her daughter Lyra are picking up the pieces. Lyra wants nothing to do with Teresa, but is desperate to find out what happened to her family that fateful night. Teresa, haunted by a missing husband and the bitter ghost of her mother, Amarga, is unable to reconcile the past. What unfolds is a story of a mother and daughter trying to forgive what they do not yet understand, and the mystery at the heart of one family’s rupture.

Brimming with ancestral spirits, omens, and the anthropomorphic forces of nature, John Manuel Arias weaves a brilliant tapestry of love, loss, secrets, and redemption in Where There Was Fire.

#queer lit #qlit #queer fiction #queer memoirs #queer history #lgbt history #lgbt writers #lgbtq writers #lgbt novels #lgbtq novels #queer novels #tbr #to be read #reading list #queer reading list

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tell me who i run to (if not you) | anthony beauvillier | Ep 3. Pal-entine's Day

This is a completed series! Read Full Fic | 🧸 Series Cover Page/Masterlist 🧁 | 🎵 Playlist 🎶 << Previous Episode || Ep 3 || Next Epissode>>

Episode synopsis:Tito returns her kindness by being a shoulder Evie can lean on when she is having a hard time after all-star break. She tells him it’s anxiety about work. He brings her a box of pastries and they cuddle on the couch all day; he doesn’t realize it’s Valentine’s Day. Later, a hook-up goes very wrong.

A/N: You can refer to cover page for the series summary, author's notes, tropes, general warnings and other fun tidbits. This series contains mature themes. Minors DNI. Warnings: This episode contains mentions of a past toxic relationship and sex that occurs off screen. Disclaimer: This series is set in Chicago but does not mention the name of the team.

Word count: 4.8k // 44.5k

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Pal-entine’s Day

Evie — February 10

It’s late when Evie finishes work for the day. She rubs her eyes and finishes her cup of tea, which is now less than lukewarm. She sighs. This was kind of her own doing. She didn’t work as much as she should’ve in January, especially in the week that Tito stayed over, which means she’s feeling more behind than she would like them to be. Not to mention, this latest work she was editing was full of so many glaring issues that the document has more comments than text at this point.

She puts her phone down and rests her head on the table.

She doesn’t regret it. Tito had been clearly so down in the dumps after his wrist injury. She had taken him to the different museums, touristy sights, and fun restaurants around town that she had been meaning to get to; she had thought that she would catch up on her work when he was in Florida with his brother’s family during Bye Week.

She doesn’t regret it because their adventures brightened his mood every time, his glowing smile seared on the inside of her eyelids. She thinks about the time she had taken him to the Skating Ribbon in Maggie Daley Park on a particularly bad day.

He had come back from the rink dejected after being told he couldn’t join no-contact practice yet. He had been cleared to skate, though. So, the joy on his face when he stepped onto the ice again, even if it was a park and not an NHL arena, made them both feel a hundred pounds lighter.

She doesn’t regret it. It’s just that— Unfortunately, her plan to catch up on work during Bye Week didn't happen. The day after Tito left for Florida, her apartment felt startlingly empty.

It reminded her of when she had first moved to Chicago. She had just a couple of boxes and suitcases. She left behind all the remnants of her life with Pierre. Those plates, pillows, and knickknacks didn’t feel like they belonged in her life anymore. That’s why she moved, right? To get a clean start at age 28.

It wasn’t just stuff she had left behind. It was her whole life, a life that had looked increasingly foreign in those final months anyway. All of their friends, all of their stuff, all of their memories. He could keep them. She just wanted out.

Those first months in Chicago had felt so lonely, living without anyone else for the first time ever. It was hard to make friends in a new city, so she spent a lot of time just in her apartment. The thought kept creeping into her head that she would probably be alone forever and regret leaving her seemingly perfect relationship behind in Toronto.

She downloaded and deleted Bumble probably ten times in the first few months.

Eventually, she met Kelsey, Leanne, and the others at a work-sponsored holiday party. They were unhappy that she hadn’t reached out sooner. So, with them dragging her out of her house a few times a week to whatever restaurant, bar, or event, she eventually settled into life in Chicago. Looking back, she’s not quite sure when her one-bedroom apartment started to feel like home.

That's why she’s so shocked to find herself once again feeling unsettled. Her sleep hasn’t been great either, making her sluggish and heavy. In the week or so since Tito left for Florida, she has only left her house twice. Both of them were to see him play when he returned to the lineup after the All-Star break.

When she looks around her apartment, she can see the small pile of his clothes that sits at the far end of the couch. She had washed them while he was away and folded them so they would be clean when he came back.

That was a week ago.

She’s happy that he’s back at training and back in the line-up. She appreciates the rigorous schedule that he's sticking to to get back to the top of his game.

She understands that means she takes a back seat. It’s just that she wishes a little part of her didn’t resent it or herself for missing his company that she didn’t know she had gotten so used to.

She doesn’t pester him, though, not when he was on vacation and not now that he’s been back training. He still texts her every day, and she tries not to get too excited when he does, being mindful to not be too suffocating and demanding of his time and attention.

She figures it’s probably not a bad idea to realign her priorities: to focus on her work and on the book that she wants to finally finish soon.

Tito — February 14

Tito watches as the sky begins to lighten and decides to just give up on going back to sleep. He reaches over and checks his phone.

5:48 am.

Great.

He unlocks his phone, which opens to the text thread with Evie he had been staring at after the game last night.

Monday, 4:46 pm evie 🧁: sorry, i don’t think i’ll be coming to the game tomorrow. i’m just totally under water with work right now. To evie 🧁: damn, that sucks. i’m sorry. do you want me to come over with some dinner tonight? To evie 🧁: or after the game tomorrow?

He didn’t receive a reply until past midnight that night.

Yesterday, 1:18 am evie 🧁: nah, it’s okay To evie 🧁: good morning to you too. how're you doing? work hasn’t killed you right? i can bring over some lunch. i bet you havent been eating much. Read

He quickly swipes out of his messages and locks his phone again.

He stares out the window. They have only known each other for less than two months, but not hearing from Evie for so long throws him off-kilter.

This is so unusual, given their typical rhythm, that even if work has been busy, he’s worried, and underneath the worry, he’s confused. It seemed unlike Evie to not be open with him about whatever was bothering her— at least, he thought she was.

A little while later, he finds himself sitting in front of her favorite bakery on his way to her apartment. He waits for the clock to hit 9 a.m. before he heads in and picks up breakfast for them both: a selection of pastries and two coffees. It’s busier than he expects, but there are still plenty of their favorites left.

He’s been to Evie’s building enough times now that the doorman recognizes him and buzzes him up the elevator straight away with a nod. It’s only when he's standing outside her door that he realizes he should've probably texted beforehand to make sure she was free.

Too late now. Tito rings her doorbell, his heart in his throat as he listens for any sound inside.

Somewhere between 30 seconds and 10 minutes later, he hears some shuffling, and the door opens slowly. Standing in the entryway is Evie rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of his Canucks hoodie, sleep shorts barely peaking out under the hem. He rips his eyes away from the soft skin of her legs.

She startles when she sees him, her eyes wide. Her messy hair and fuzzy slippers only intensify the warm fondness buzzing in his chest.

“Um, hi,” she says, stepping aside to wave him in. “What’s all this?”

“Nice hoodie,” he beams at her, a crooked smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“What?” She looks down and immediately covers her face with her hands. “Oh shit, this is yours. I was just grabbing the first hoodie I saw, and it was sitting on my— I’m sorry, do you want it back? I can go change.”

“Hey,” he says gently, setting the food down on the kitchen counter. “No, keep it on. I can’t really wear it out anymore, and it looks good on you.”

She cracks a smile for the first time this morning.

“Here, I brought you some breakfast and coffee— peppermint mocha, half sweet, with oat milk. I figured you might need something stronger with all the late nights you’ve been working.”

She stares at him silently for a long time before reaching for the coffee and whispering a quiet, “Thanks.”

He smiles at her and pulls her in for a quick hug, feeling some of the tightness in his chest melt away as he breathes in her scent. As he pulls back, he waves her to the couch.

“Go, sit.” He pushes her gently. “I’ll bring over the food.”

As if on cue, her stomach grumbles. “What did you get? Oh! Oooh! Good Ambler. My favorite,” she says excitedly, finally looking more like herself.

He smiles to himself as he puts the food down on the coffee table. “Yeah, I know! I got us the quiche and a bunch of their pastries.” He opens the box and watches as her eyes light up.

She laughs, “Wow, you really went all out.”

“I guess I did,” he shrugs.

They eat in a comfortable silence for a while, both deep in thought. It’s been a few days since Tito has set foot in her apartment. He feels more at home here than in his own place. There are touches of Evie everywhere.

She has shelves next to the TV console that are covered in books. There are at least five more books spread around the room. Her fuzzy blanket is draped across the back of the couch. There are candles on her coffee table, sitting next to colorful coasters with bad book puns on them. Unhung art and posters are leaning against the bottom of the walls. The space is so clearly lived in and loved.

Although, as he looks around, he can see the signs that things might be a bit off. There are dirty dishes piled up in the sink when there usually wouldn’t be any. There are stacks of papers spread across various surfaces. A box next to the bin for the overflowing trash. He counts at least seven mugs of mostly drunk tea around the space.

He frowns.

“So,” he starts cautiously, “how've you been?” He winces at how awkward that sounds.

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Busy? I guess mainly.” She stares at the muffin in her hands, pointedly avoiding his skeptical expression.

He sighs and reaches over, his broad hand lightly covering her wrist. “Hey, I feel like something has been off recently, and I want to know what’s going on. Is it just work that’s been crazy? Or is there something else?”

Evie looks up at him finally; their eyes meet, both assessing the other. He can see the dark circles that dull her tired eyes, her expression pained.

“Yeah, I’ve just been having trouble getting stuff done. But it’s not a big deal. It’s fine, though. I can handle it.” She frowns and picks at the remaining half of the muffin.

“Hey,” Tito says gently. He reaches out, takes the muffin, and puts it down before taking her hands in his. The movement makes them turn to each other. “It’s okay if you’re struggling. Just tell me how I can help. I won’t judge you, okay?”

She shakes her head, tugging her hands back and hugging them to her body. “Yeah, I know, but I’m okay. I don’t want to be a pain—”

“Evie,” he says gently, “Asking for help doesn’t make you a pain. Look, we’re friends, right? You were there for me last month when I was having a really bad time. And now I want to be here for you. You should let me help where I can. Or at least tell me what’s wrong. I can’t guarantee I’ll always say or do the right thing, but I’ll listen, and I’ll try to help where I can, okay?”

She looks at him, searching his face for a lie and not finding one in his open and caring expression. “Okay,” she whispers with a small smile.

“Okay.”

He hands her back her muffin, and they finish up their breakfast. He takes their trash to the kitchen, and despite her complaints, he does the dishes as he makes them both a cup of tea.

When he sits back down on the couch, he finally speaks again, “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Or at least, if there’s anything I can do to help?”

She heaves a big sigh but does smile at him warmly before settling into the couch. “I guess I just had a kinda bad week last week? I'm kinda behind on stuff, and I got really in my head about it. Remember how I told you I moved here after a bad breakup? Well…” She shrugs.

“You don’t need to explain if you don’t want to. I know it sucks. I mean, I haven’t dated anyone seriously since before the pandemic. But we actually broke up like January 2020, so those first few months in lockdown were really rough. Just bad feelings and a whole lot of time.”

She looks up at him, “Oh. I had no idea.”

“It’s not a big deal. That was quite a few years ago at this point, anyway. I’m over it now, but— I’m just saying that I know it can be hard.”

“Yeah,” she nods, fiddling with her mug before finally saying, “Honestly, I’m not that bummed about the breakup. It wasn’t bad or anything. Or at least nothing bad happened. Things just sort of just… I don’t know. I was just feeling like shit all the time.

“By the time I left, I had already been mentally checked out for a while, so I wasn’t really sad at all anymore. It was mainly hard because our lives were so entwined.

“We had gone to grad school together, and we were working at the same company. We had all the same friends, and everyone loved him, you know? So, it was hard to leave that behind.”

He reaches out and squeezes her knee, encouraging her to keep talking.

“It’s just… I hate it, feeling like I’m falling behind.”

“Like on work?”

She nods weakly.

“Well, if it’s anything I’ve had to learn in my career, you’re more than your productivity. You don’t need to be perfectly productive all the time to be contributing something.”

“Yeah… it’s just that—” Evie sighs.

“What?”

She swallows heavily and looks out the window. “It’s just that… I hate feeling behind at work because it makes me feel like I’m behind on my career. And that’s really all I have right now. After— Like, I’m 28 years old, and what do I have to show for it.”

He studies her face and squeezes her knee again, drawing her gaze back to him. “Who told you that?”

“What?”

“Who told you that you’re behind on life?”

“Well… Pierre? I guess. My ex. He used to talk about success milestones—”

“Success what?” he interrupts.

She powers on. “Just, like, things I should accomplish by a certain age. And when I left, you know? I set back my life? Single again. Starting over. And when I left, Pierre kinda pointed that out. And all I have left is my career— a struggling career.”

“Okay, honestly?” He says, fuming, “Fuck Pierre. Like, what the fuck is that?”

“No,” she shakes her head, chewing on her bottom lip, “No. I don’t— He’s right.”

“He isn't right.” He's sitting up now, fully facing her. “He's not— Firstly, your career isn't struggling. You have a job you enjoy, and from everything I’ve heard from Kelsey and Leanne, you’re fucking good at it. You’re making progress with finishing your book every week, which is awesome. I see you working your ass off all the time. And on top of all that, you're a great fucking friend. And a great fucking person.”

He shakes his head and sighs loudly. “Evie, you don’t have to complete some stupid made-up checklist to be successful. Only you get to decide what counts as success in your life. That's the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Honestly, Evie, I'm saying this as your friend, fuck Pierre for making you feel lesser and smaller with this bullshit.”

She looks at him, her face betraying her surprise at his outburst. His cheeks are warm and probably a little flushed, but he doesn’t care. He can feel the anger in his veins, opening and closing his fists to dispel some of the energy.

“I guess?” she says finally. “Pierre’s really not a bad guy. He’s a good person. We just— He just wasn’t a good fit for me.”

“Okay,” he concedes, silently disagreeing with her assessment.

“Thanks, though. For saying that. It means a lot.” She reaches out and squeezes his clenched fists. “Thank you. I'm okay, really. Overall, in the grand scheme of things, anyway. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your game yesterday.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to come to every game. It’s just an offer.” He smiles softly. “I mean, I’d love to have you there, obviously, but I’ll understand if you don't.”

“Okay,” she smiles back.

“So, do you think you can take today off? I think you might be a little burnt out.”

She sighs and looks at her phone, the emails trickling in. She knows she has the time; she always makes herself finish far earlier than whatever deadline her director gives her. She fires off a quick message to the group, telling them she’s taking a mental health day, before putting her phone face down on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” she smiles, “I can take today off.”

“Good,” he beams. He puts his arm around Evie’s waist and pulls her into his side. He reaches for the remote. “That’s good because I haven’t seen any Brooklyn Nine-Nine in like two weeks, and I know the next episode is a Halloween heist episode, and it’s been killing me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, dummy. That’s our show. I can’t watch it without you.”

She laughs, “Okay.”

He puts on the show, smiling as it plays the cold open. He turns to her and tugs her in closer.

“Hey, Evie?”

“Yeah?”

“Please just tell me what’s bothering you next time, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I will. I promise.” She smiles up at him from his side, and he feels his chest tighten.

A few episodes later, they've slid down on the couch so that she’s almost lying on top of him. He looks down at her head on his chest to see her sound asleep. He pauses the show and pulls out his phone.

To jason dickinson: yo, do you have any more restaurant recs? evie’s been having a rough week, i’m thinking maybe taking her out for dinner today might cheer her up jason dickinson: eyyyyyyy get it!!!!!! To jason dickinson: ????? get what??? jason dickinson: uh? is this a trick question? To jason dickinson: no? jason dickinson: a date? laid? idk To jason dickinson: WHAT?!!!! jason dickinson: you’re asking for a date spot right? To jason dickinson: wtf jason, no. we’ve been through this. we’re just friends. jason dickinson: riiiiiiight. just friends who ask for a date spot on valentine’s day

Tito’s eyes widen as he glances at the calendar app on his phone.

February 14.

Valentine’s Day.

Fuck.

Next to him, Evie stirs, yawning.

“Hey,” she says, her voice muffled, “You paused the show?”

“Yeah, you fell asleep.”

She chuckles. “I guess I did.” She looks up at him and frowns. “What’s up, Tito? You got a weird look on your face.”

“Oh, um. I just realized what day it was.”

“What day is it?” she looks at her phone.

“Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh!” she laughs, shaking her head. She pulls away, sitting up, and runs her fingers through her hair. “Okay? Did you have plans? I’m good here if you want to go.”

“What? No? What plans would I have?”

“I don’t know, Anthony. Maybe you’re an international man of mystery,” she laughs, lightly shoving his knee.

“Sure I am,” he says, rolling his eyes, “That’s not what I meant, though.”

“What did you mean then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you have plans.” She gives him an unimpressed look. “Okay, well, maybe you don’t have plans. But I didn’t get you anything.”

“Do friends get friends Valentine’s Day gifts?”

He sucks in a breath. “I mean, no? I don’t know.”

“You did get me a whole box of pastries. I feel like that’s pretty good. I mean it’s not like I’ve ever celebrated Valentine’s Day before.”

He freezes, brows furrowed.

“What? You never celebrated with Pierre?”

“Nope,” she shakes her head.

“Weren’t you together for like five years?”

“Yep!” she shrugs. “He just wasn’t into that sort of stuff. He thought it was stupid and a waste of money.”

“Come on, what the fuck?” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, we never did anniversaries either. It’s not a big deal.”

“Please tell me he at least did birthdays.”

“I guess. I mean, he always got me birthday and Christmas presents, but usually nothing major. I always planned a dinner and stuff with our group of friends for my birthday.”

He studies her face, his brows furrowed.

She sits up. “What?”

“Seriously?”

She nods.

“I bet he always got you to plan his birthday parties too.” He rolls his eyes and sighs. “I don’t mean to be rude, but like. Fuck Pierre, man.”

She’s quiet for a second before saying softly, “It’s really not a big deal.”

He shakes his head. “I mean, sure, Valentine’s Day is kinda stupid and cheesy. But that’s the point. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use it as an excuse to show someone you love them.”

“Wow, Anthony. I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” she grins, bumping his shoulder.

“I’m not. He just sounds like he was being lazy and didn’t really care to try.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal, Tito. Guys're just like that.”

His eyes follow the sad smile she gives him, and he pauses. Her eyes are a little glassy, and her cheeks redder. He knows when to leave something be.

“Guys are absolutely not ‘just like that,’” he says, making air quotes. “But I’ll drop it.”

He lays back down, tugging on her arm. He mutters, “I just think that he should've cared enough to try, like, even a little bit.”

“God, you're such a sap. Imagine your teammates hearing about this.”

“I wouldn't be embarrassed, Evie. Like, at all,” he looks at her flatly.

She rolls her eyes and lays back down against him.

A few minutes later, she speaks up again. “So, you want to hit up some clubs tonight? Things always get hot and heavy on Valentine’s Day. Good night to pick-up.”

“It’s Wednesday, and I’ve got a game tomorrow,” he says, his voice hollow as he forces his eyes to stay on the screen.

“Lame,” she says, a relieved smile on her lips that he doesn't see.

Evie — March 2

When Evie comes to, she’s lying on her bed with her arm covering her eyes, panting. Her body still feels tingly, in the way it does after good, wild sex. It always leaves her a little dizzy and disoriented. She can hear the sound of heavy breathing next to her. She hums, pleased.

Her other outstretched hand is buried in soft hair. She tugs on a curl and smiles. She loves his curly hair. Evie has always had thick, straight hair, a blessing and a curse; it has never felt as soft as curly hair does. Her fingers twirl around the curl, playing with the springy coil.

She thinks maybe Tito will let his hair grow even longer. He looks so good with longer hair that forms actual curls. The way it falls in front of his eyes a bit makes him look so soft. She thinks about how he lays on the couch lazily, his hair splayed out on the cushion, and how his shirt rides up to show the sliver of skin above his low-slung sweats when he gets comfortable.

The urge to ask him if he’s going to cut his hair soon overtakes her exhaustion, and she moves her arm to look over.

“So—” Evie starts before she furrows her brows.

At that moment, she notices that instead of Tito’s baby blues, she's met with a pair of wide-eyed browns. Her entire body freezes as the night slams back into her consciousness.

The dancing, the flirting, the meaningful looks, the cab ride home, the sex. God, the sex was fucking good. Her limbs hum in agreement as her chest tightens.

Well, these eyes gaze at her lazily, warm and soft. Evie’s hand is still in her curly mess of hair. The first thing she thinks is that it's actually longer than Tito’s hair is now before she immediately banishes his name from her mind completely.

Evie can’t seem to relax her body enough to free her voice, which is caught in her throat.

Shit, what is her name?

Natalie? Natalia? Natasha? Nat for sure—

“Don’t worry,” Nat states, smirking, “I’m not staying. Just trying to catch my breath before leaving.”

Evie can’t help but feel unsettled and disoriented, but she forces her mind to quieten. Nat is really hot, and they did have a really good night. Slowly, Evie puts a coy smile back on her face and blinks slowly at her.

“You don’t have to leave? If you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to kick you out.”

Evie has absolutely no idea why she just said that. She has never asked a hook-up if they want to stay. It must show on her face because Nat laughs. She shakes her head and presses another heated kiss to Evie’s lips, reminding her why she feels like she’s still floating outside of her body.

“I’ll get going.” Nat shakes her head and stands up, looking for her clothes in the mess on the floor. Evie probably should've cleaned up a little before going out.

She leans up on her elbows and lets her eyes trail down Nat’s body. Her mind finally focuses, and she whistles. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

Nat laughs.

“Yes, baby girl. I’ve got to go to work tomorrow. This was very good, though,” Nat says while putting on her clothes. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask for your number or when we’ll see each other again. So you don’t need to give me the spiel. I knew— know what this was.”

Evie laughs at the exaggerated wink Nat gives her. She feels a little lighter with relief at that.

“Can I use your bathroom, though? Before I go.”

“Yeah, it’s right through there.”

“Thanks.” Nat sends her a warm smile before slipping into the bathroom.

Evie lays back down and rubs her eyes. That was fucking weird, what the—

Her bathroom door flies open.

“What the fuck?” Natalie says, holding up Tito’s bread trimmer.

“What?”

“Do you have a boyfriend or something? Did you just fucking use me to cheat on someone?”

“No?” Evie sits up, confused.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. I was willing to overlook the men’s shoes and coat in your entryway; maybe they’re a friend’s. I was willing to overlook the sweatshirts and sweatpants strewn around your room. I figured maybe you just like being comfortable.”

“What?” she squeaks through the lump in her throat.

Nat powers through her interruption. “But there’s a fucking beard trimmer in there. Two toothbrushes. Two towels. A curly-defining gel that you definitely don’t use. And the—”

“No, you’re—”

“Are you honestly going to tell me you live here alone? What stupid fucking excuse are you going to give me, huh? This is a one-bedroom apartment, dude. Whoever’s shit this is, he's definitely not your roommate.”

Evie stares at her, stunned, mouth opening and closing.

“God, you know what. Save it. I don’t want to fucking know,” she says before storming out of the bedroom.

Evie hugs her knees in stunned silence, watching from her bed as Nat grabs her coat and shoes. She pleads with her brain for something to say and comes up empty.

Nat throws her one last dirty look, her face twisting in a scowl at her continued silence. “Seriously, fuck you, Gigi.”

The sound of the front door slamming makes Evie jump. She just sits there, staring into empty space for so long that she feels her butt go numb.

She flops back onto her bed, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes.

“What the fuck just happened?” she says to her empty room.

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aroihkin · 6 days

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@msbarrows replied to your post “I thought the huge claw foot bathtub in the main...”:

I had a hellish apartment when I first moved to Toronto back in the early 90s, but the one thing I STILL miss from that place was the big claw foot cast iron tub. They're awesome. Also, if your tub doesn't have one, it IS possible to get a shower fitting and curtain ring for them so that you can rinse off before filling (mine had that).

Yeah, IDK if I want to do that though. Mine has a little hand shower thing if I wanted to use it (it's useful for cleaning the tub at least). Or if I wanted to extend it up to an actual shower head, I could do that later. Right now I like that it's not boxed in at all, even by something gathered into the corner.

It's really neat IMO. The lady who sold this place renovated this bathroom before selling, and put in all new appliances throughout the house. I lucked out big time.

#mah replies #mah house tag #msbarrows

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sharkfish · 2 years

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this horse has been salted and burned a million times, but why. why six episodes to eleven seasons. why the original female angel love interest plot given to cas. why dead and dead and dead for each other and then alive and alive and alive because of each other. why i love you written in the crypt scene and why i need you didn't make it any less damning. why so many confessions after that. why acting choices. why where's the angel?! why no more one night stands. why endverse. why the change from truth to despair. why the trenchcoat in the trunk. why the divorce and the widower and the jealous lover. why so close. why so close. why so close. why look at his mouth again and why that reaction to him safe and clean and there in a little slice of kevin. why profound bond. why conversion therapy. why it damn near broke me. why that pause between he's in love and with humanity. why devastatingly handsome. why bert & ernie and thelma & louise. why cain & colette and maggie & siobhan. why desperate attempt after desperate attempt to keep them apart. why hugs so tight they must hurt. why quarantine in toronto. why matching fridges. why fanfiction gap, why movie nights, why bickering, why sunshine. why silence and silence and silence on both sides of the fourth wall. why i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition and why you changed me. why y yo a ti.

why, why, why, if not for—

#shark talking about canon?#it's less likely than you think #destiel

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holidaywishes · 2 years

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the baby shower weekend

Summary: Your friends come into Toronto from Calgary to surprise you and your friend grabs the attention of Auston Matthews and William Nylander; it’s an awkward drive up to your brother and sister-in-law’s baby shower.

Requested: 🙅‍♀️

Warning: smut? Fluff? I literally have no idea what this is anymore…

Author’s Note: Fuck… I don’t know…

masterlist

the other masterlist

It had been two weeks since the Leafs were knocked out of the first round of the playoffs and your friends were convinced that you were feeling some type of way about it. Telling you that they knew how bummed you were and how they wanted to make you feel better. It felt like it took you hours to convince them that they could come to visit you... if they figured it out on their own

“Perfect!” Maggie said, “already done. We get in late Thursday night, and we’ll party and drink all weekend. Like old times!”

“Old times included many tequila shots and whiskey chasers…”

“Yeah, so, like old times” Audrey teased

“Guys, I can’t… that baby shower is on Saturday” you added

“That’s fine. We’ll go to the baby shower and go out afterwards. It’s an east coast crowd so they’ll all be drinking anyway” Maggie continued

“I’m staying with family. You guys weren’t invited, you can’t just show up”

“They’ll welcome us with open arms. Your friends are their friends and all that.” You could tell you weren’t going to win this battle so you have in and told them all the information they needed to know in case you weren’t home when they got into the city. You’d been cleaning and wrapping gifts for what seemed like an entire month so that you’d be ready to just take off to Montréal but you hadn’t planned on your friends dropping in and undoing everything you’d done to that point. Their plane landed right in the middle of your work day so, luckily, they had the code to get into your apartment to drop off their stuff and then do with the rest of the day as they pleased. When you spoke with them, they told you they were at some bar

“Seriously?” you scoffed

“We’re waiting for you!” Maggie exclaimed

“Yeah, you’re not working tomorrow, come have drinks” Audrey said over the noise in the background

“I’m not working tomorrow because I have to drive 6 and a half hours to get to my brother’s house”

“Which means you can drink tonight. Dance off the alcohol a bit and then take some Advil before you go to bed” Maggie countered in her typical banter

“Fine” you huffed and made your way to where they were, walking in to a dark room with only hints of light peeking in through the stained glass windows, finding your two friends chatting up some guys at the bar. Already? you thought to yourself before shaking your head with a laugh

“OH MY GOD, (Y/N)!!! YOU’RE HERE! FINALLY! Come,” Maggie directed you to the bar, “meet the boys”

“I’m okay,” you winced, hating the constant stream of guys she brought into her life and yours, by proxy, “I thought it was just gonna be the three of us tonight?”

“Well… yeah,” she hesitated, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t flirt a bit.” You tilted your head and she shrugged before she led you to your friend and the boys they had collected at the bar. It wasn’t until you actually sat down that you realized who they were

“Ah, here she is!” She said, “(Y/N), this is Auston and William, guys this is (Y/N)”

“Hi” they greeted politely while you waved awkwardly, in near disbelief that they were standing in front of you. Though you couldn’t say you were all too surprised that Maggie could grab their attention enough for them to hang out with them for a bit; though you were sure, now that you had shown up, they’d leave. Nope. After nearly three hours, two bars and who knows how many drinks, the hockey forwards were still there.

“Oooh! Let’s go here!” Maggie exclaimed, pointing at a sign that read ‘Baro,’ “so I can teach you something. It’s my heritage you know?”

“Yeah we know” you and Audrey sighed, laughed to yourselves before exchanging a look and entered the Latin club. You’d only ever been in one other Latin Club before and it wasn’t like this. It looked like a regular restaurant at first but the five of you were soon directed to a staircase that led you to ‘the loft’ which was filled with smiling faces dancing in a way you couldn’t see yourself doing

“I think we’re in for a real Dirty Dancing situation aren’t we?” Audrey laughed

“What do you mean?” Auston asked, staring out at the crowd

“Please tell me you’ve seen Dirty Dancing” she almost whined

“Of course,” he replied, William nodding in turn, “I just don’t know what you mean…”

“I don’t know how to dance like that. Maggie might but I don’t. (Y/N) only does if she’s had too much tequila”

“Well then I bet it’s the same for you!” William teased, “let’s get you ladies some tequila!” The group made its way to the bar, dodging partners on the dance floor as you passed

“Sorry” you said to one couple as you hit their shoulder as you walked by, your attention completely on them that you didn’t see the spinning woman ahead of you and you were suddenly pushed into Auston, as he stood beside you. “Sorry,” you repeated shyly, his hands holding you steady, “guess I should watch where I’m going”

“Nah, it’s good. These people don’t care,” he leaned down to speak in your ear, “they’re in their own world” your stomach fluttered as his hand stationed itself on the small of your back

“Ah to be in love” you cooed sarcastically before turning back to the group you’d just come up with

“They’re probably trying to spice up their marriage before they get divorced” he teased

“So grim” you scoffed

“Maybe a little” he smirked, nodding at where your friends stood with a line up of shots waiting for you. Fuck, you thought to yourself, this was exactly like fourth year University post-final exams. Maggie dragged you and Audrey onto the dance floor after you each took two shots of tequila, leaving the boys to drink at the bar

“What the fuck is going on, Mags?” you said through gritted teeth, faking a smile

“Some guys are buying us drinks” she said plainly, waving her fingers at Auston and William

“Do you know who they are?” you asked, legitimately unsure if she knew who she’d tricked into wasting their night with a bunch of strangers

“Yeah,” she smiled, “Auston Matthews and William Nylander”

“Shhhh!!!!” Audrey came back just in time to shush Maggie, “that’s not just something you yell in Toronto”

“Where did you go?” you asked, furrowing your brow at her sudden appearance

“I requested a song”

“What song?” you asked, your question answered itself as Macarena began blaring over the room, “really?” the girls laughed before the crowd began the classic dance moves and you were compelled to join in, giggling and blushing as you put your hands on your hips before jumping to the next position.

Auston’s P.O.V

“So what’s the idea here?” Willy asked while you both watched the three girls do the Macarena, (Y/N) being told to move her hips more by some guy placing his hands on her, irritating you slightly

“Hmm?” was all you could reply

“What are we doing, Matts?”

“We’re hanging out with some girls. The night is young”

“There’s three of them”

“Yeah”

“And two of us”

“True”

“Auston…”

“Who caught your eye?”

“Audrey”

“Yeah?” You said, raising your eyebrows a little, “perfect. Go for it. Make a move”

“And you?” He questioned, your eyes still trained on (Y/N), Maggie now attempting to teach her and Audrey to Salsa, “when are you gonna make your move?”

“Don’t worry about me, Willy, you just make your move.” He went over to the girls, his signature Nylander charm wasting no time kicking in, before he led Audrey a little bit aside from her friends. You smirked at the look on Audrey’s face when she realized what was happening before you noticed (Y/N) rushing back to the bar to grab some water

“How’s it going out there?” You asked and she smiled as she tried to catch her breath

“Good,” she started, “but also terribly”

“How so?”

“We’re having a blast,” she exclaimed with a small laugh, “but I’m really not much of a dancer and Maggie is a terrible teacher”

“What if I taught you?” You said after a short silence and you just nodded. It was a good excuse to get closer to her so you hoped she’d say yes, “I am half Mexican you know”

“Does that make you qualified to teach me?”

“Oh absolutely” you joked and she smiled, taking a drink of water in preparation

“Alright,” she quipped, waiting for you to stand up, her bright eyes melting your chocolate brown ones. “But you have to be patient with me,” she said sweetly, walking beside you to an open space on the dance floor, “I’m not very good at this.”

“That’s okay,” you smirked before taking her hand and placing it on your shoulder, “I’ll be gentle.”

Things had gotten pretty steamy at Baro between you and Auston to the point that you didn’t even notice Maggie glaring at you

“Hey guys” she budged between the two of you, who had been back to front for nearly an hour now, a fake politeness on her tone. Maybe it’s just the tequila, you thought, I could just be really drunk

“Hey” Auston spoke first

“How are you guys doing?” Maggie continued, turning toward Auston and leaving you feel like a third wheel all of a sudden. You started to walk back to the bar, when Auston grabbed your arm and kept you where you were, completely unbeknownst to Maggie.

“We’re good, great even!” he smiled, gesturing to you over Maggie’s shoulder, “(Y/N)’s really quite good at Salsa”

“My sister always said she had the hips of a Latin girl,” Maggie replied, “though she may not have been talking about dancing”

“Maggie!” Audrey exclaimed from nearby, clearly she heard it, which means others did as well and now you were sufficiently embarrassed

“Fuck!” you cursed loudly when you looked at the time, “shit!”

“What’s wrong?” Willy asked as Maggie finally turned to look at you

“I totally forgot about the shower”

“Shower?” Willy said confused

“The baby shower, my brother’s baby shower,” you replied, “I have to drive up tomorrow and if I don’t go home now, I’m gonna be too hungover to drive.” You saw the look on both Audrey and Maggie’s faces, leading you to an overwhelming feeling of guilt, “look you guys stay, have a good time, just make sure you’re up and ready for the drive by like 8 tomorrow morning”

“Why don’t I drive you?” Auston called to you as you began to leave

“What?”

“I’m not that drunk,” he continued, “if I drive tomorrow, you can stay and dance and drink”

“It’s a six and a half hour drive” you said, stumbling to one side, Auston catching you swiftly

“I’ve got nothing going on” he smiled and you looked passed him at your friends

“Sure,” you replied happily, “if you’re sure.” You were drunk, this you knew, but you were sure he was as well and that he’d change his mind as soon as his head hit the pillow but when you woke up the next morning, in a rush to get your last minute things in your backpack, there he was on the couch

“Morning!” he greeted with a smile, earning a gasp from you as you turned the corner

“Fu-” you started, holding your chest in surprise

“Sorry,” he laughed, William coming through the door with some coffee and Audrey on his arm, “didn’t mean to scare you”

“I just.. I just didn’t think you’d be here,” you admitted, “either of you”

“I said I’d drive you,” he continued, “and Willy really likes Audrey, so here we are.” You giggled at his response, shaking your head as you threw some stuff in your backpack

“Alright then,” you finally said, “I guess it’s time to go”

“I thought we’d take my car,” he added, “I went and picked it up. There’s just a bit more room”

“Sure, no problem” you smiled

“So, who’s sitting where?” Maggie called out as she leaned against Auston’s exceptionally clean car

“Well, I’m driving so...” he chuckled while you placed your gift and backpack in the trunk with everyone else’s bags, catching Auston and William whispering to each other when you closed the trunk door.

“We really need to get going so, everyone just take a seat,” you insisted, “we can always switch when we stop”

“Alright!” William said, hopping in the back with Audrey and insisting that Maggie get in the back with them

“Should we go?” Auston asked and everyone chimed in with a chorus of ‘yeah’ and then you were off. A six and a half hour drive with strangers you just met who just happened to be NHL players; should be completely fine...

Auston’s P.O.V

“I need you to do something” you whispered to Willy as the girls packed their things into the trunk of your car

“Oh god,” he scoffed, “what?”

“I need you to make sure (Y/N) sits up front with me”

“(Y/N)?” he questioned

“Mhm” you replied, not really paying attention to him

“I can do that”

“Good”

“We really need to get going,” (Y/N) pleaded, “so, everyone just take a seat. We can always switch when we stop.” You waited for Willy to get (Y/N) to sit up front before Maggie could claim it for herself

“Alright!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands before getting in the backseat with Audrey, “Maggie! Come back here”

“What?” she furrowed her brow where she and (Y/N) stood outside the car

“Come sit with us!” he repeated excitedly and you noticed him nudge Audrey to get her to do the same

“Yeah,” she hesitated, “the backseat is fun!”

“But I’ll have more room in the front...” Maggie tried

“It’s fine, I’m shorter, I’ll sit in the back” (Y/N) sighed

“NO!” both Willy and Audrey stopped her

“What?” she gasped when they blocked her way of getting in

“Mags, come on!” Audrey pleaded and you were getting annoyed with how long this was taking

“Should we go?” you asked while Maggie was at the back car door with (Y/N) at the front, so by default they would each go where they were standing

“Yeah!” everyone groaned and you were finally able to drive off with everyone in the car, awkward silence and all.

“So, where are we headed?” you asked, realizing you didn’t actually know where you were headed

“Hmm?” (Y/N) hummed as she stared out the window, “oh, sorry. We’re going to Montréal”

“You from there?” you asked

“No,” she replied simply, “I’m from Nova Scotia but my sister-in-law’s family is in Montréal so after her and my brother got married, they moved there. To be closer to her family, I guess...”

“But Montréal is beautiful” Maggie chimed in from the backseat

“Yeah, it is,” (Y/N) added, “I just don’t really make it out here that often”

“You should” Maggie said, almost in annoyance and you looked back in the mirror to see what face she was making

“Yeah I probably should” (Y/N) repeated, “and back to Calgary, too”

“Should we put on some music?” Audrey said to ease the tension and, without hesitation, you plugged in your phone and turned on a playlist. For two hours, the ride was silent, some of the group falling asleep, some shifting in their seats until you finally stopped to refill the gas tank; letting everyone stop and stretch

“Thank you for driving us” Maggie said, surprising you at the gas pump

“No problem”

“It was really sweet of you even to offer,” she continued, “I mean (Y/N) was really drunk, she shouldn’t have asked”

“She didn’t” you corrected

“What?”

“She didn’t ask, I offered.” You watched (Y/N) laugh with Audrey and Willy as they walked out of the gas station back to the car, before she stopped to stretch; arching her back as she extended her arms over her head. You didn’t even register Willy approaching you or that Maggie had gone back into the car with a scowl on her face, clearly taking notice of your lack of feelings for her.

“I don’t get it,” he sighed, trying to grab your attention, “you’re so... smitten”

“Smitten?” you scoffed, finally tearing your eyes away from the petite girl you’d only just met. You couldn’t deny that you were intrigued by (Y/N) but smitten was not the word you’d use

“You can’t stop staring at her, Auston,” he laughed, “even though there’s a girl in the backseat who would easily fuck you in the bathroom if you asked her”

“Get back in the car” you urged before Audrey and (Y/N) finally made their way back, Audrey scooting into the seat beside Willy

“Hey” (Y/N) said with a smile

“Hey” you smiled back

“Did you get a chance to walk around at all? Stretch your legs?” she asked, squinting her eyes from the sun as she looked up at you

“Stretch, yes,” you replied, “walk around, not really”

“We can wait,” she gestured to the car and the group inside it, “if you want to do that”

“Maybe at the next stop” you smirked, earning a shrug from her before she settled back into the passenger seat. The three in the backseat drifted off to sleep, Audrey’s head leaning on Willy’s shoulder and Maggie’s against the window while (Y/N) unplugged your phone to plug hers in and put on her playlist. “Wha—” you scoffed

“Sorry,” she smirked, “my phone’s almost dead. Once it’s charged you can plug yours back in…” You could only smile at her response before Everywhere by Niall Horan began playing, noticing a smirk creep across her lips before she brought her legs onto the seat, criss-crossed, and looked at you. “Yeah, maybe it’s not your vibe,” she teased, “but it’s so good!“ She seemed so pleased with herself that you couldn’t help but smile in return

“It’s not so bad” you smiled as she moved her hair from one side of her neck to the other and you found yourself staring at her exposed skin, your eyes trailing from her jaw down to her collarbone to her chest, watching as it rose and fell slowly with each breath she took.

“Okay, so here’s the thing,” she said suddenly, “my parents are from Nova Scotia and grew up cheering for the Habs, my brother did too. It was a huge part of how we grew up”

“So you do know who we are” you teased and she scoffed

“Which means they will” she urged, clearly uncomfortable with how to proceed with the conversation. You’d wondered how long she’d been meaning to bring this up but you were curious to see where it would go

You knew you’d already waited too long to bring up the fact that you knew who they were but the longer you were on the road the more guilty you felt about what they might end up getting themselves into

“Okay, so here’s the thing,” you started, wincing at the truth you were about to tell, “my parents are from Nova Scotia and grew up cheering for the Habs, my brother too. It was a huge part of how we grew up…”

“So you do know who we are” he smirked playfully, not really addressing what you’d said but you nodded in assurance

“Which means they will,” you added, “but they also hate the Leafs”

“As any rival team fan base would” he said calmly

“I don’t know what the plans are once you get us to Montréal, you can totally go back to Toronto, but if you don’t do that, you can’t stay at my brothers place,” you rambled, “I mean they barely have space for me…”

“Where are the girls staying then?”

“There’s a hotel like 15 minutes from where they live. Audrey said they’d book a room but I don’t know if that actually happened…”

“We’ll stay in the same spot” he replied, his posture relaxed as he drove

“I don’t know if you’re gonna wanna meet any of them. They tend not to have filters,” you continued, “East Coasters usually don’t, and they’ll eat you alive, like devour you”

“I can handle it” he scoffed lightly

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” When you finally pulled into the city, everyone woke up in a frenzy, everyone asking if we’d finally arrived and you replying sarcastically with, “no, somehow we wound up in Michigan.” You popped in your brothers address on the map before texting your brother to let him know you’d be there soon, taking a deep breath at the thought of having to introduce him to everyone in the car. Auston pulled up in front of the small apartment complex and you bit your lip, contemplating your next move, “okay so I’m gonna go in, you guys check into the hotel and we’ll deal with this all tomorrow, yeah?”

“What?” Willy exclaimed, “no. I have to pee, like now, why can’t we just go in?”

“It’s a lot of energy to throw at a pregnant woman, don’t you think?”

“I don’t” Maggie chided, opening the car door and stepping onto the pavement

“Fuck…” you sighed, mirroring her action

“I’m just gonna park over there,” Auston said, gesturing to an open spot, “I’ll be right behind you guys. Hold the elevator for me”

“Of course!” Maggie added with a smile. He was relatively quick to make it back to the group, stepping into the now-crowded elevator and smiling down at you as it moved up with the five of you standing in silence.

“Hey!” you greeted Terri, your brother’s roommate, as she opened the door, “sorry I’m so late!” You gave her a hug as she invited you in, quickly introducing her to everyone before Darren and Kim came downstairs.

“Whoa…” Kim said when she saw your big group

“They’re not staying,” you ensured, “they just drove… it’s a long story but they’re staying at a hotel”

“Hey,” your brother scoffed, outstretching his hand for a high five as he walked over before leaning in for a hug, “how was the drive?”

“Good,” you smiled, Kim now finally close enough to hug, “long but good.” They were looking back and forth between you and the people behind you for a while until you realized that you hadn’t introduced them. “Right!” you said, “guys this is my brother, Darren, sister-in-law, Kim, and their roommate, Terri. These are my best friends Audrey and Maggie…” Everyone pleasantly greeted each other, shaking hands when they could, and you cleared your throat as you dreaded the next introductions; do I say their last names? you thought to yourself before just jumping in. “And this is William and Auston”

“Nice to meet you,” William said first, “you can just call me Willy, everyone does”

“Nice to meet you,” Auston smiled, shaking your brothers hand first, intentionally, it seemed, as Terri was closest to him, “sorry for just showing up like this. We are staying at a hotel, like (Y/N) said, we just thought we’d pop in and meet you”

“Pop in and meet us…” Kim said quietly

“Yeah,” you smiled, “that was nice right? They won’t come to the shower, or they won’t stay long if they do, they’re just gonna stay in town so they can drive us home on Sunday morning”

“I’m sorry,” Terri was the first to mention it, “are we really not going to acknowledge the whole… NHL of the thing?”

“Terri…” Kim sighed

“I’m just not sure how everyone is staying so calm!”

“We’re all a little shocked,” Darren added, “and curious how… why… what’s happening”

“That’s on me,” Maggie chimed in, a smile proudly plastered on her face, “see, Audrey and I came in from Calgary to see (Y/N). We went out drinking last night, for old time’s sake, and then I introduced myself to the boys and they stuck around as we bar hopped around Toronto. Auston eventually offered to drive us all out here when your sister here remembered that she had to drive up for the baby shower”

“I mean, that’s the abridged version, yeah” you replied, furrowing your brow at some of her words

“Alright…” Darren sighed. It seemed like it was a good enough explanation for him but the girls still had questions. They said there were some details Kim’s parents wanted to talk about with you about the shower, so the large group now split up into two cars and made their way to Kim’s parents house; Kim and Terri with Auston and Willy while you and your brother were with Audrey and Maggie. You could only imagine what Kim and Terri were asking the two boys in their space and every question that came to mind made you squirm. When you finally arrived at Kim’s parents house, you had to do another round of introductions

“Well, holy shit,” Kim’s dad, Paul, exclaimed before taking a sip of beer, “never thought I’d have Maple Leafs in my house. What the fuck are two NHL players from the worst team doing in my house?”

“Okay…” you scrunched your face as you held up your hands to stop him, “let’s just be nice, alright?”

“Sorry,” he laughed, “I’m just fucking shocked”

“Yeah we got that” Audrey laughed awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable, moving closer to Willy as if to comfort him. The discussion went on for the rest of the night amongst the boys while the girls talked about what was going to happen at the baby shower the next day. When you left their house, you heard Kim’s dad mutter to himself ‘fucking Matthews’ and you rolled your eyes in turn. The eight of you split up between cars again, this time, though, you and Audrey got into Auston’s car with him and Willy

“I’m really sorry about Paul,” you sighed, “I knew he didn’t have a filter but I didn’t think he would be that rude. To either of you. I’m really sorry”

“That’s okay” Willy laughed from the backseat

“It was all in good fun” Auston added

“You guys don’t have to go tomorrow,” Audrey said, “it might be worse. There’s gonna be alcohol and a lot of people…”

“No!” Willy exclaimed, “we want to go. Don’t we Matts?”

“Yeah,” he smirked, “it’ll be fun”

“It’s gonna be a disaster” you scoffed, letting your head fall back onto the headrest

“It’ll be fine” Willy smiled and you sighed in return. Auston drove you back to your brother’s place, before picking Maggie up to finally go to the hotel

“See you tomorrow. At 3” you said, waving goodbye

“See you tomorrow!” Maggie replied as she finally got into the front seat, where she’d always wanted to be, and the car drove away. Fucking hell, you thought to yourself, this is gonna suck.

Auston’s P.O.V

Your group decided to show up a little bit later than everyone else, in hopes that you could just sneak in and not cause a scene, but almost immediately after you walked in the door you and Willy were dragged out to the garage; Paul's man-cave.

"Whoa," you thought to yourself as you looked around the fully decked out garage, Montréal memorabilia everywhere

"Habs fan huh?" Willy joked awkwardly before you raised an eyebrow at him

"This guy!" Paul laughed before playfully punching Willy's left arm

"You know, you guys had a not so bad season," someone said from the back of the garage, "but you just choked. Like you always do"

"It's a bit more complicated than that" you scoffed

"Is it though?" Paul slurred, the few drinks he'd already had clearly stronger than you thought they'd be, "you guys don't play like a team. You play like a bunch of cocky teenagers who want all the glory for themselves"

"Says the guy whose team wasn't even in the running for the playoffs," you said, your words biting as you and Paul were almost as close to each other as you could get. He was just about to say something when a noise came from outside

"IT'S TIME TO START SOME GAMES AND THEN WE UNWRAP PRESENTS!" Kim's mom, Alison, called out, making sure everyone in the garage was aware of what was going on as well. Paul kept his chest puffed out before he finally backed down, your eyes narrowed at the bald-headed Montréal fan who was sure to make tonight a living hell for you. It was an hour later that the presents were all unwrapped, the games were all finished and the guests had filtered out. The group that had started being the only one that had left with one exception that hadn’t been there the night before. It was clear that Paul and Darren had been drinking quite heavily throughout the day and you knew that whatever happened next wasn’t going to be a relaxing experience. (Y/N) was in the garage near the man who had told you the team choked earlier and you couldn’t tell who he was to her as the two of them made, what looked like, a rye and seven before clinking their glasses together.

“So, what are the plans for the rest of the night?” Terri asked excitedly, Audrey and Maggie also interested in the answer as (Y/N) walked over

“We do have to leave early tomorrow morning, so we should probably call it a night soon,” she admitted, “or at least I should”

“Yeah and I’m the pregnant lady,” Kim laughed, “so I was exhausted the second I walked in the door before the party even started”

“Oh come on!” Paul groaned, “don’t be a bunch of babies!”

“They’re just trying to be responsible,” Alison countered politely, “let them be responsible.” Kim and Darren were able to take off, both of them hugging everyone goodbye before stopped at (Y/N)

“We’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I won’t be too late,” she smiled, “I’ll hang out here for an hour or so and then head back to yours”

“Okay,” Darren added, “we’ll leave the door unlocked and set up the couch for you. See, you should come up here more often. You just get pampered, don’t have to do anything”

“I’ll keep that in mind” she laughed, waving them goodbye before going back to the group

“Hey” you said with a smile as you made your way to her side

“Hey,” she said softly, “how’s it been?”

“Fine,” you replied, “I mean, you warned me what was coming so I should have expected everything that was said in the garage”

“I’m really sorry,” she scoffed, “when they drink, they get a little… uncouth”

“Who gets a little uncouth?” The man you hadn’t met asked

“You,” (Y/N) laughed, “sorry, Auston, this is my dad, Charlie, dad this is Auston.” Internally, you went ahhh, as if it made total sense

“Nice to meet you, Auston,” he greeted politely, “I’m sorry about the disagreement earlier”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” you chuckled, “it’s nice to meet you as well.”

“CHARLIE!” You heard Paul yell, “don’t be sorry about anything!”

“Alright, Paul,” Charlie smiled, “I think we should just take a step back, maybe watch a game or something?”

“I’ve got some memes, if you wanna see them” Paul laughed and you looked over at (Y/N) who shifted from foot to foot before she smiled at you. Paul then continued to show you various memes that his friends were sending you about the Leafs — and about you in particular.

“Very funny,” (Y/N) scoffed, shaking her head in response, “why don’t we do something else? Something non-hockey related?”

“We can’t have actual NHLers here and just not talk hockey” Paul insisted

“What do you wanna know?” You finally spoke up, feeling (Y/N) stare up at you

“Let’s not do—”

“What’s it like being in a team that never wins?”

“What’s it like to know your 24 Stanley Cups was during an era with only six teams?” You countered angrily before feeling a slight tug at your arm, compelling you to look down at (Y/N) who now looked increasingly overwhelmed

“How does it feel knowing that those six teams were better than the entire league is now?” Paul continued, his volume competing with his slurring. You had to reign in your irritation in order to get out unscathed so you took a deep breath and asked if anyone needed a ride home, “look at that, can’t even take a few harmless questions...”

“I’ll take a ride…” (Y/N) smiled and it felt like a rescue but Paul’s laugh was still echoing in the room

“Guess we shouldn’t expect anything else, should we? From a loser” Paul shouted to the group around him and you had enough, pushing back and moving close until your forehead was touching his, like two buck’s about to fight.

“Guys!” Audrey exclaimed, “stop!”

“Auston, come on,” Maggie tried softly, “you’re better than this”

“Let him fight if he wants to fight” Paul chirped

“Auston…” you softened at the sound of (Y/N)’s voice, looking back at her to see the worried expression on her face. You scoffed at the small man in front of you who clearly was trying to prove something, if not to you than to himself, and you backed away, storming out of the garage and toward your car, (Y/N) close behind.

“Auston! Wait! Stop! Auston, please!” You called to the 6’2” man who practically ran ahead of you to his car. You knew he was upset but you needed him to stop so you could at least comfort him without panting constantly. “Look,” you sighed out of breath, “I’m sorry about them. They shouldn’t, He shouldn’t have been so rude…” Auston didn’t say anything, choosing to open the car door hastily and you dropped your head in response before opening the passenger side door and taking a seat inside. The drive was relatively quiet and quite awkward as you tried to find the right thing to say

“It’s fine” he finally said when he could feel you trying to ease the tension

“What?” you added

“It’s not your fault,” he continued, “you honestly kept me calmer than I would’ve been otherwise”

“Still,” you sighed, “I’ve never seen Paul act like that. Even after a few drinks, like he was in rare form tonight and I’m sorry that you had to be part of it…”

“Don’t be,” he smiled, reaching out his hand to squeeze your knee in reassurance, “I’m okay, trust me.” He left his hand there for a minute as he drove, leaving you feeling a bit lightheaded, which took you by complete surprise. When he pulled up in front of your brother’s apartment building, you cleared your throat before slowly taking your seat belt off

“Thank you” you smiled

“No problem,” he returned, “I’ll see you early tomorrow morning. Bright and early!”

“Absolutely,” you said, furrowing your brow at the unexpected response, “tomorrow morning. See you then…” He waved you off after you got out of the car and you made your way back into the apartment in a bit of a daze. What the fuck? You thought to yourself, what was that? It took you another 20 minutes to get over the awkward way you left things with Auston and decided that the best thing to do now was just to sleep, but as soon as you laid down, there was a loud knock on the door. It can’t be… “Auston?” you whispered

“I know it’s late, I’m sorry” he stammered

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“No,” he said simply, “I’m not. I can’t get you out of my head. I don’t know what the hell was going on when I dropped you off but I should’ve… walked you to the door or we should’ve gone to the hotel — not that you’re like that or that you would even want to”

“Shhh,” you hushed him, your finger in front of your lips as you led him inside, “you have to be very quiet. Kim’s randomly up in the middle of the night and Terri… she really could come down here at any point. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea…”

“No of course not” he smirked

“Tell me what you’re doing here,” you urged lightly, finding your feet had walked you into him without you realizing it, your bodies almost close enough to touch, “the truth…” He stared at you for a moment longer before your breathing quickened and his hands moved along your sides, his fingers dancing up the thin fabric to the exposed skin on your neck. You locked eyes with him as he cupped your face with both hands and pressed his lips feverishly to yours, pulling your body close to his as the kiss continued. There was no subtlety in his actions, he wanted what he wanted and part of you respected that while most of you craved the foreplay. You gripped his shoulders as he continued to kiss you harshly up against a wall, stopping only when he heard a noise from the second floor, returning to what he was doing as soon as he could. “Slow down,” you said through heavy breaths, “just a little…” He pulled away from the kiss to take in the sight of you, hair wild, chest rising and falling harshly, cheeks red and lips swollen, but you couldn’t tell what he was thinking

“Slow huh?” he smirked, trailing kisses down your body until he was on his knees in front of you, “how slow?”

“I just think going all fast like that is gonna be louder than if we—”

“Right,” he interrupted your rambling, “we have to be quiet…” you nodded in return as Auston kissed his way back up to your mouth, his hands seconds behind him as they curled around your body and he picked you up easily, pushing your lips open with his tongue before walking the two of you over to the couch. He met the edge of the couch with the back of his legs and sat down slowly, bringing you down with him as he did so, the kiss you’d begun continuing as you straddled him. His hands moved across your waist as yours trailed down to the hem of his shirt to push it up and over his head, catching a smile from him once the fabric was gone and you traced your finger along the ink of his tattooed arm. The room was starting to fill with heavy breathing and you were worried that someone was going to hear but the feeling of Auston’s hands on your skin and lips against your lips left you unable to make rational decisions. “What’s going on?” he asked when you stood up

“Shh,” you whispered before removing your flannel shorts and inching toward him to remove his pants, “they’ll hear us.” He scoffed once before bringing you back onto his lap, his hands now gripping your thighs tightly as the passion crept in between the two of you; both unable to control the choices you made next. He ripped your shirt from your body and buried his face in your breasts before your hand moved down his chest, finding his already hard member and lining him up with your entrance; the eye contact an unexpected choice. “Fuck” you breathed as you began to ride him, his breaths matching yours as you arched your back to gain more friction. You felt his thighs flex underneath you while he pushed up into you and you threw your head back in pleasure

“Fuck” he moaned, his hands now roaming up your chest, cupping your breasts before placing small kisses along your collarbone, earning a small moan from you before you caught yourself. “They can’t hear us” he whispered, clearly noticing that you were restraining yourself, and you brought your head back to look at him

“They probably can,” you whispered back with a smirk, “it’s a small apartment…” He smiled back at you before pushing you into him so your breasts were tight against his chest. Soon, he moved his hands to your hips so he could direct your movements in a way that he wanted and you got closer and closer to letting go. He cursed lowly with his face buried in your neck and you whined into the air as you dug your nails into his shoulders, leaning down and nibbling at his ear. “Oh my god,” you moaned as quietly as you could, “fuck”

“Cum with me,” he urged as he took a turn nipping at your collarbone as his breaths became unsteady, “cum with me” he repeated and, oddly enough, that seemed to be all you needed. You stayed where you were for a few moments more, catching his stare one more time before he kissed you softly and you moved off of his lap, awkwardly trying to find your clothes in the dark. “Hey…” he said quietly, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong” you replied, only slightly lying

“Oh really?”

“Really…” you countered, turning back to find his eyebrow raised, “I just.. don’t want things to be awkward tomorrow. Especially with Mags. No one can know about this…”

“Seriously?” He scoffed

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, finally fully dressed as you made your way to the couch, “the ride back is long enough without there being resentment or… questions”

“That’s what you want?”

“It’s what’s best”

“Alright,” he conceded, “but I think they’ll probably know anyway”

“Maybe,” you added, “but we don’t have to be the ones to say anything” you both laughed softly before Auston grabbed his clothes that had been strewn over the floor and you settled into the couch to go to sleep, thinking that he would just let himself out. “Oh,” you gasped when you felt him wrap his arms around your waist, “hi..”

“You thought I was just gonna take off?” He asked

“Kinda,” you chuckled, “yeah”

“Well joke’s on you I guess”

“Looks that way.” You woke up the next morning before anyone else, even without an alarm set, feeling Auston’s arm still on your hip as if he’d barely moved throughout the night, which meant you probably hadn’t either. While you waited for him to wake up, you traced over his tattoos once more, this time looking more closely at some of the images there

“See something you like?” he asked groggily, his morning voice almost a moan

“Just browsing,” you joked, kissing his nose sweetly before getting up, “we should probably get going”

“I’m ready when you are.” The ride home was as awkward as you thought it would be, even more so than the ride up, and you weren’t sure what anyone else was thinking but you knew that you weren’t going to let anything ruin the memory of last night.

#my god this is long #i was gonna write stuff in the author’s note #but I felt like I wanted to leave it as ‘f*ck’#because it kind of explained everything #but I am sorry this is so long #nhl #hockey #tml #auston matthews #auston matthews fic #auston matthews smut #masterlist #the other masterlist

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