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woman-respecter · 2 months

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Yo im super curious now who is that ex bestfriend that u mention on the taggs sometimes? Give us some ☕️

LMAO u have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for someone to ask me this. warning this is long and tells like. the entire story of our friendship which is probably more than u asked for haha

i’ll give the TL;DR here and the full story uner the cut

TL;DR: we were best friends for about 3 years, she found out i had feelings for her, and, though she promised she would stay friends with me, ended up completely abandoning me, refusing to ever speak to me again.

ok so exbestfriend (i’ll call her R) and i became friends in my very first class of freshman year of college. we really hit it off and had like completely compatible ADHD wavelengths. i wouldn’t say we were inseprable that year bc i had other friends we spent more time with but her and I, along with another girl from our class (who was kinda insane. i’ll call her G) would spend a lot of time together. sophmore year R and i got closer and started spending a lot more time together. she was kinda my best friend at that point but also didn’t go to the play that i starred in and worked really hard on which was a minor thing but something i still remember. second semester sophomore year we got a lot closer and spent a lot more time together, often without G. middle of the semester i realized i was in love with R (i remember the exact date actually. feb 28 2020.) but youse know how 2020 was, we got sent home for covid.

during the pandemic i took a gap year and R did zoom college but she and i stayed very close in touch, facetiming and texting all the time. we even sent *handwritted letters* to eachother which i still have. in fact she was the *only* person from college who kept in touch with me then. she usually seemed too busy but tried to make time for me. during this time i fell more in love with her.

first semester my junior, R’s senior year was mostly a really good time for me (until the end which we will get to.) we were finally able to see eachother in person after over a year. G wasn’t there to third wheel because she was studying abroad. and R and i became inseparable, even deciding to take a class together (economics, which i loved and R hated). we also became part of a larger friend group which was great for me because i never had that, but still were closer with eachother than the rest of the group. we spent as much time together as possible and saw eachother almost every day. i will admit i was a little to clingy to her at times but she didn’t seem to mind. during this time she was very affectionate and caring towards me. she even did little things that made me think she may have returned my feelings like holding my hand. the other girls in our friend group seemed to believe that R may have liked me as well.

and here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE BREAKUP START READING HERE: for hanukkah i knitted her a pair of mittens, which i gave her along with a letter borderline confessing my feelings to her. after reading the letter she called me, told me she didn’t return my feelings and that in fact she now felt uncomfortable with me hugging her or telling her i loved her (as a friend) but said she would still would remain friends with me no matter what. the next day we had a convo over text where she said some pretty hurtful things which caused me to kind of act out the next time i saw her at a get together with the rest of our friends. the last time i saw her in person that semester (or, spoiler alert, ever) was when i had to beg her to drive me to the airport to go home for the semester because i could not get an uber but she only did so begrudingly (even tho before my confession of love she had planned to take me to the airport that day)

during winter break i tried reaching out to her to talk things out but she said we didn’t need to. i tried to text her about the game we both played (genshin impact haha) but she would never respond. when we got back to school i kept trying to get her to hang out with our friend group but she always said she had something going on or straight up not responding. she didn’t text me on my birthday either. eventually at the end of february, i think my other friend (who is currently my only remaining friend from that group fun fact) contacted her and told R how bad i was doing because of her absence (oh yeah i forgot to mention, i became suicidally depressed from R’s absence) so R called me and while we argued about a bunch of stuff and she was somewhat homophobic towards me (she said she was more comfortable being friends with G because G was straight) she eventually told me that yes we could be friends again she just needed more time. which i guess i was ok with but it did not stop me from being suicidally depressed.

a month later i reach out to R like hey i really miss being friends could you let me know when you want to be friends again. a WEEK after me sending that text she responds and tells me she doesn’t want to be friends ever again and says some more hurtful shit. that’s the last i’ve heard from her. i almost offed myself at this.

rest of that semester goes badly, my depression gets worse and worse to the point that i lose the rest of my friends except for one (who happens to share a name with R, a sick coincidence) because they can’t deal with it. also R blocks me on instagram and genshin impact.

my depression is a bit better now, it was super treatment resistant so i changed meds a few times. but i’m still not fully recovered from this and i never will be. all i want in life is to have her back. there is an R shaped hole in me that will never and can never be filled. i’m not sure if i’m capable of ever loving again.

so yeahhh thats it. if u read this whole thing ur insane but i love u 💖

#do i seem like a bpd insanegirl here? lol #sorry for dumping this on u but u asked #exbestfriendposting

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seariii · 7 months

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My take on Kotoko as a morally gray person, about a morally gray character who thinks in black and white

first of all, i absolutely love this woman, so all of this comes from a kotoko enjoyer, but when talking about canon i can not turn the blind eye to the wrongs she has done. i will talk about my perception of her murder, of her as a character and about her beating up the guilty prisoners (i will put this emoji 🐺 when i jump subjects just to keep it organized)

this next phrase is my personal take, i know some will disagree with me and thats okay, which also works as a tl;dr:

Kotoko didnt do anything wrong outside the prison, but she did wrong inside of it

i know beating up people isnt actually good, but she did research upon research to get to the bottom of the cases she was investigating and found the culprits this way. "but she could've brought them upon justice" and you arent wrong about that, but the victim she actually murdered, even when his identity was revealed to the public, the law didnt bring justice upon him.

screenshots & translations from @/maristelina (i didnt put everything in here, if you wanna check all the articles, please go check on their post!)

her victim was a child murderer, he had already killed 10 girls in 2 years, but even then, he was still free because of his father’s position of power.

then we have her other victim, the man she beat up and sent to the hospital

there are a couple articles dedicated to this one. but a quick run down: the man, Mikio Oshii, was wanted for theft and assault, having tricked at least 2 or 3 elderly people, pretending to be a bank employee, and convincing them to hand over cash, he pushed one of his victims, fracturing her ankle.

then we have the article about Kotoko’s assault. again a quick run down: someone heard screaming and found a man lying on the ground, who had lost consciousness after being beaten up, and was taken to the hospital. the police suspects a man (kotoko was wearing men’s sneakers and covering herself up). the victim was wanted for theft and assault charges and was Mikio Oshii.

further proving that she was aiming at people who prayed on the weak, she had good intentions (at least at first), and we also have the facts that she was trying to go through the lawful(?) path at first

she was studying law, showing us that she genuinely believed her cause, bringing justice to the world and protecting the innocent, or “weaklings” as she calls them, more on that later. that she was gonna try and go for the morally correct route, but what changed? what is that thing she “wants to do”? i hope we get to see her reasoning on the next trial. for now i agree with the theory that says that her or her family was victim of someone like the guy that was above law for having money and a father with a position of power. showing her the flaws of the law/justice system and thus taking matters into her own hands.

🐺 i personally believe that there are some people who dont deserve second chances, like pedos and rapists, and like the man kotoko murdered, between others. so this is why i forgive her from her crimes. she did proper research, she is passionate about it, she wants to protect the weak, or thats what she tries to convince herself of, because this brings me to my next point

she does have those violent tendencies, and she enjoys them

“this feels so good”

this is from the t1 trailer, people suspect this were phrases they said after their murders. so i think there is a possibility that while she was trying to convince herself that her actions were for justice, to try and protect the weak, and i dont doubt that that was where it came from at first, she ended up doing it out of personal enjoyment.

i once read that “if you do a good deed because you want to do it, it means that you arent a good person. to be a good person you need to do good deeds without wanting something in return” meaning that you should be uninterested on even the satisfaccion of said deed. this is a phrase that i absolutely hate and dont agree with, but i think it applies in here. kotoko was trying to do something “good” (morality is on the bearer’s eyes) by bringing to justice people who kept escaping it, by taking revenge for those weaklings she so desperately wants to protect, and while thats her main motivation, she also does it because she wants to.

i believe my girl has a thirst for power. she is self righteous, the way she refers to the people she wants to protect as “weaklings” its like shes putting them down in some way, the way on her VD she just wants to keep rambling about her theories, the way she inserted herself on Mikoto’s interrogation, the way she just assumes Es’ intentions and doesnt seem to accept when they call her out on it. she doesnt listen to others at all and once her mind is set on something, there is nothing that can move her from there. she isnt a good person…. but also, she isnt a bad person, and i feel that the fandom forgets those two statements can coexist. even if she sees herself as a saint, and firmly believes that she did nothing wrong, thats because

🐺 her world view is black and white. and this is why while i condone her actions on her murder, i do not condone her actions of beating up the guilty prisoners.

a lot of the prisoners have a black and white morality, heck, milgram itself as a system IS black and white. and from what i’ve read, a lot of the fandom also thinks in black and white. all of which i find extremely… interesting…. tbf its the nd majority vote game about nd murderers on the nd website, so makes sense (im half joking, sorry)

kotoko attacked the guilty prisoners because thats what she had been doing, and thats what she got voted innocent for on t1 (i wasnt around). but no one told her to do that, she acted on her own, she misinterpreted her judgment and forced her opinions and methods on others, claiming it were Es’, without their knowledge and without ours.

as a side note, when i first got into the fandom, i found surprising to see that kotoko was inno and fuuta was guilty on t1, since from my perspective their crimes are basically the same, they both exposed and harrowed “bad” people.

i make a lot of emphasis on black and white thinking, since its something im familiarized with, for example lets talk Amane since its her trial is still going

she is the type of girl who will correct other’s mistakes, who will call them out and try to fix them so that the others can be right, like her. her truth is absolute and even when it flails, she stands her ground and proceeds to believe in herself and her views of the world. in what i said, you could re read that and it would also apply to kotoko, and just like her, Amane also convinced herself of doing something she wanted to do by telling herself it was the right thing to do. kotoko’s “protecting the weaklings” directly translates to amane’s “punishing her mother for her sins (hurting the cat)”. so while in both cases there were hidden feelings, something tells me neither of the girls knew about their own ulterior motives, thats how well they convinced themselves.

people who think in black and white just see it as it is, right or wrong, left or right, green or blue, there is no other choice but those two. and from my personal experiences with myself and with others, its something you end up applying in almost every aspect of your life and its really difficult to change up this way of thinking. beginning to see the grays of the world and its other options its not an easy task without some proper help

overall, i dont believe she was right for hurting the guilty prisoners, and fuuta losing his eye because of her gives me a horrible gut feeling. overall, it also ties on her need for power, since she firmly believes shes Es’ “fang”, thus reducing herself a weapon for justice, not implementing her own judgment anymore, but someone else’s, ours, which my problem with her actions in this scenario. i firmly believe that if outside the prison she had came across mahiru or fuuta, she wouldn’t have attacked them, but after her t1 inno, and getting her ideals supported, her beliefs became radical, and now shes going based on our ideals, our judgments, our right or wrong, our black and white morality, MILGRAM’s black and white morality.

🐺 im still a kotoko inno truther, and i love her, shes my favorite character. but i dont expect her to get innocent this trial, as she did wrong. i dont want to say it was our fault that she harmed the other prisoners, since we had no way of knowing this would happen. in retrospect we can say whatever we want, but none of us can read the future.

i dont even have a real argument on why you should vote her innocent “shes pretty” is not good enough lmao… but who knows, maybe we will see something that makes her worthy of an inno vote on her second trial a few months from now (not counting on it, probably wont be enough)

in the end i wrote this because im really passionate about this character and her black and white views on the world (shes so intense). and because this beautiful person @archivalofsins told me to "keep talking about kotoko" and i have zero self control regarding this fictional woman.

🐺 i believe with the help of a third party, someone who could act as a moral compass to her and could teach her that the world has more colors, more choices, and if she actually learns about this, she would end up being an amazing thing.

also, if the theory about her being an accomplice of the serial killer turns out to be true, i will puke and cry :)

#please forgive me for i am not good at character analysis and i was just rambling about my fictional wife #also never give me an open floor to talk about my hyperfixations someone needs to put limits and its not gonna be myself #im sorry if this isnt comprehensible its almost 4am as im typing this and i always talk so much i get distracted and forget what i was #saying but i tried my very best to try to organize my ideas in a way that others could maybe understand!!#im also sorry if there is something wrong with the spelling or the way i said something english isnt my first language #milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #milgram analysis #long post #also not her parallels with amane making me a little more fond of the little girl #about the moral compass its me ill be her moral compass i dont trust other people to give proper judgment #or maybe it could be a small group project but just a small one because i dont work well in large groups #wife <3 #seari writes

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hollow-l1es · 11 months

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i wanna clarify that when I talk about ghoulia g1 being autistic coded i mostly take it from this official bio thingy that was on the monster high website!! (Idk if that site still exists but i was obsessed with it as a kid fkdksksk) A couple things I want to highlight here:

-ghoulia states that she needs a proper schedule to function. similarly many autistic ppl struggle with things such as organizing and planning (ie executive dysfunction) and sticking to a specific schedule or routine is very helpful and reduces stress a lot!!

-"[does] not process last minute change very well": this is actually mentioned twice, in the freaky flaws and in the pet peeve section! It’s a common thing in autistic folks to struggle with last minute changes. Neurotypicals often see this as "rigid thinking" or stubbornness but it’s really often (at least in my case and other ppl i know) a case of needing time to adjust to changes of plan or unexpected events

-"trouble making facial expressions": i think this one is self explanatory, a lot of us autistics tend to have little to no facial expressions or or will force facial expressions to appear "normal" to neurotypical

-can only speak zombie: okay someone pointed this one out in one of my recent posts because in my memories i believed she was actually non-verbal! It was my mistake, but i still made some research to try to understand where my confusion came from and it turns out that certain ppl actually interpret ghoulia as being non-verbal, and her zombie talk being a parallel for the way autistic ppl will sometimes communicate with grunts and sounds instead of words when they go non-verbal. I don’t necessarily believe this is what was intended with ghoulia since in the monster high world zombie is just another language that ppl speak and understand easily. there’s much more we could say about this topic but regardless, i still think ghoulia literally communicating differently from the other characters is a good parallel with how autistic ppl often struggle to connect or keep up with neurotypicals’ way of communicating!!

-ok that one is obviously a stereotype but if my hypothesis that she was purposely coded as autistic by her creators is true, her being a nerd who loves books and studying (also activities that are often done alone, since many autistics are also introverts) is definitely worth mentioning

-at the "favorite subject" question, she replies that she can’t choose just one, which is a common reply for autistic ppl when asked their favorite x or y!! A lot of us struggle with decision making, even when it comes to small and innocent things like picking your favorite subject at school!

There’s more that could be added obviously but I really wanted to just dissect this bio since it’s what made me realize that she was autistic-coded! As a child when i got into monster high i never really got any of that (and tbh i didn’t watch the webseries that much so i definitely can’t say much about how she acts in it) but now reading this i think it’s not a stretch to think that this was intentional. With all the basic/widely known autistic traits that are explicitly stated in her bio, i think it’s reasonable to say that this is not a coincidence. Ofc everyone is allowed to have their opinion on this but this is mine!:))

Tl;dr: Ghoulia from monster high g1 is definitely coded as autistic and i wish i had noticed earlier!!!

#ghoulia yelps #g3 ghoulia #g1 ghoulia #monster high ghoulia #monster high #autistic #autistic coded #actually autistic #hollow talks #monster high g1 #monster high g3

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blue-hi · 3 months

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I should be using my hooky day to work on homework but there's a Situation in the group chat that is making me feel somehow lucky I had an evening class to attend, and I want to address it here because 1) this place acts like a diary for when I can't say something out loud and 2) I see what I consider to be the root of this particular problem in rhetoric all around this site (and places of similar persuasion, you'll see what I mean) and if possible, I want to help as best I can.

Under a read-more because unfortunately this is long. But if you have any interest in persuading people of your positions, especially political ones and especially this year, please consider what I have to say at least.

Tl;dr— Arguments require evidence, no matter how righteous you consider the cause to be; changing minds takes time and effort but that time and effort will be well-spent; your audience questioning your claim does not necessarily mean they are hostile to it, just that they want clarification.

First, the Situation, as quick as possible, as I understand it: a new individual joined some meetings of one of my friend groups last semester. We have meals which are open to all students, so this person is welcome to join us and we are happy to have them. Last night, after I left for class, they made a request to the group to help them fundraise to help someone they know pay rent. Which is totally understandable, but things have gone off the rails—

This person, so far, is not known for making requests. They're more like. Assumptions and demands. The message in the chat that they sent was definitely a demand, and it was definitely hostile, because of the response to the initial request, which I'll get back to shortly. I haven't been able to speak with them, only my other friends who were there, but I cannot honestly say that I believe the original topic was brought up with. Um. Tact.

The person they are fundraising for lives in another city entirely (another state even) and they have never met in person before. Not necessarily a red flag—I have plenty of friends I only know/have met online, and so overall I'm pro-being-friends-with-people-online (Hello! If you're reading this, you know who you are :) I love you)—but it can be. I don't know anything about my acquaintance's relationship with this person besides "they met online." How long have they known each other? Where did they meet? Do they know this person is who they say they are? A lot of my online friends, we've known each other for over ten years, and over multiple platforms. If they were catfishing me, it would be a hell of an accomplishment.

My acquaintance has been sending a lot of money to this person, reportedly. Like, enough that they came to us for meals because they don't have enough to eat themself.

So a potentially shady scenario (I'm equivocating because I'm trying to hang onto good-faith interpretations of things with all the strength I can muster but. It's definitely shady, let's not kid ourselves) presented with righteous gusto, to people who had not heard of this situation moments before.

Needless to say, this didn't go over well, and my friends weren't immediately on this train. This caused our acquaintance to leave in frustration, and they later put in the group chat a link to the fundraising page and the demand that they "expect each of us to donate and them prove to them that we donated."

This is continuing into this morning. My friends are doing their best to ignore it. Which I think is not how this gets resolved. I don't know how this gets resolved, but I don't think it will be pretty.

So. That's the Situation. What does this mean for the rest of us?

It turns out that I'm studying how to make arguments and effectively deal with people. Right now, in fact! I was doing a reading for one of my classes that dealt with how to structure effective arguments literally yesterday morning, before shit hit the fan. Let's go through how to do that.

How to Structure Arguments: Rhetoric 101

"Rhetoric" is a whole field in itself, but simply (admittedly, perhaps reductively), it is the art of persuasion. You have something you want to say, and you want the person you are speaking with to accept your position.

Quick definition, off the bat: argument is a neutral term here. People use it in English to talk about verbal fights (my other language is German, this would be streiten), but here, it will merely refer to an attempt at persuasion. If I want to refer to people yelling at each other, I'll use Streit or fight.

Your position, or your thesis, is a claim. It is the central idea around which your argument spins, and without it, there is no reason for you to me making an argument. My acquaintance's claim is that we should help them fundraise for their friend.

The reason you make a claim is called, fittingly, the reason. It is the basis for the claim, and the claim flows from it. My acquaintance's reason is that their friend is having financial troubles.

In addition, there is an unspoken warrant. A warrant is a general principle that binds the reason and the claim; it justifies (or warrants) the claim flowing from the reason. My acquaintance's warrant is that good people help others in trouble.

All of this is well an good. The problem is that this is where my acquaintance ended, and then made their ask (I...may be using that word liberally but technically that's the term). The further problem is, that's not a full argument.

What's missing? Evidence.

We still have many questions. I have a few of them above. Who is this person? What is their relationship to you? How did you meet? How long have you known each other? Do you have proof that they are who they say they are? What is their general history? Etc. etc. etc.

This is not to determine whether or not this person is deserving of help (maybe it is for others, but to me, that question is irrelevant). It's to learn more, to make an informed decision. Especially with something like financial resources. A rhetor has to be aware of their audience's hesitances, goals, resources, etc. Asking college students for money is always a hard sell, no matter what cause or what amount you're asking for. Maybe it's not "right," but it just is, and ignoring that will only kill your argument.

My point here is that people asking questions of a premise does not automatically mean they are disagreeing. It means they want to make informed decisions as to whether they agree or not, and they do not want to feel strong-armed into making that decision. In the end, it is your audience's decision as to whether they are convinced of your argument. All you can do is make it as best you can.

And to do that, you have to actually finish the damn thing.

I see this a lot in political discussions here. Person X has strongly held convictions, and they want to convince the more moderate Person Y to agree. Convictions like, "You should sign this petition to switch the city to renewable energy (claim), since our current energy sources pollute the air and water (reason)." This is a sympathetic cause for me, and I imagine you too. But Person Y is in their rights to ask for more clarification, even if they do agree. Maybe Person Y will ask questions like,

What kinds of renewable energy?

How long will implementing your vision take?

Will it create or destroy jobs?

Is the technology feasible?

How polluted are our air and water?

Etc.

Far too often, I see Person X get frustrated at this point. It's self-evident! Why are you pushing back at me! The environment will only get worse, we don't have time to sit around answering these questions! So they lash out, and Person Y walks away, deciding they hated that interaction and that they aren't going to do what Person X told them to do. Meanwhile the environment is still polluted.

I see this all over. It's an election year in the US. You're gonna see it a lot too. Why don't we make a game of it, see how many posts like this we can come across before November. We'll see if I haven't had a stroke by then.

My main critique of leftists is that we have no patience, not even to make an argument. Yes, many important things are pressing! Yes, people will get hurt unless they get fixed now! Yes, these are true!

But change doesn't happen overnight, not even in the most ideal of revolutions (my god, don't even get me started, that's another discussion entirely). Things take time, especially when trying to influence politics or attitudes of whole societies. It took 40 years for conservatives to overturn Roe. It may take 40 more years to put it back. That doesn't mean that all the time in the middle is misspent. Have you ever seen a stonecutter? It happens all at once, but what made it possible was the 100 whacks you didn't see.

Take the extra time and finish the argument. Don't assume people already agree, or that if they do, they'll follow you without question. Remember that questions and clarifications aren't inherently hostile. It is your audience's right to make their own decisions, so it is your duty to make your argument as effective as possible. Rhetoric is a finesse tool, not a hammer. If you try to bludgeon someone with it, it will break.

Post-script

I'm worried about my acquaintance. I don't want them to feel unwelcome with us, and I want them to take care of their own well-being. I'm a Franciscan, I get the impulse. Absolutely I do. But remember that it is not a sin to care for yourself as well.

The reading that inspired this impromptu essay is from The Craft of Argument by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory C. Columb, particularly Chapter 2, "Argument as Civil Conversation."

I didn't talk about tone here but I want to do a brief discussion of it. I'm aware this is possibly too-close to "tone-policing" and I do want to avoid that. But another fact of life as it is, is that people don't like being demanded to do things. How you say something is just as important as what you say (the medium is the message). It doesn't affect the quality of my claims—I can still be right even if I'm an absolute asshole, or I can be calm and civil and just plain wrong—but it does affect how those claims will be received. When I saw the demand in the group chat, my immediate reaction was, "Fuck that, why should I?" Even if I would donate, and therefore accept the claim, I still wouldn't follow through on that demand. Because I'm a petty and spiteful bitch and I don't like being talked to like that. But I can understand the difference between the claim and the demand; my other friends may not, and that hostile demand puts the entire argument at risk. Keep this in mind as well.

#what the fuck do i tag this as #psa #essay #rhetoric #i don't know. i don't do these sorts of things #i'm just stressed and tired #if you're inclined you're welcome to argue (NOT fight or streit) in the notes.#do i have the audacity/naivety to trust tumblr with a socratic seminar. hmm.

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tomboyfriends · 1 year

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So on Wednesday, I had to explain what a “terf” was to my therapist due to the nature of the sexual harassment and suicide baiting I received. I thought she would already know because the intake forms seem very gender ideology-savvy, but she asked anyways. So I told her what the acronym stood for, and that it’s commonly used as a pejorative and that people label women as this and then often proceed to threaten and/or harm them under the guise of socially acceptable misogyny. She then tied that into when that I said in my intake form under the gender identity section where I said that I don’t have a gender identity and consider gender and gender identity to be sexist/misogynist, and asked for more information. So I explained to her my definitions, that gender are social conventions and expectations surrounding how women and men should act, what resources should be available, whether they should be subservient to the other sex and learn not to prioritize themselves, etc. I said these are misogynist because none of these are intrinsic to what being a woman or a man actually is: being an adult human female or adult human male respectively. I then mentioned I started to desist when I got into college and studied different courses focused on the human body and that all my textbooks and lectures said that being a woman or a man is a matter of biology as having the female/male phenotype, not sex stereotypes. She then said, “I see, so your definition of a woman or a man is very scientific,” and I agreed even though I thought that wording sounded funny. So she said, “So by a woman, you mean someone who has a uterus and ovaries?” and I actually disagreed. I said *most* women have a uterus and ovaries, and that those organs are the result of the female phenotype. Being of the female phenotype means that your body’s expression of your genotype results in bodily structures with evidence of being organized around the support of ova (and spermatozoa in male phenotypes). I explained that women who have had hysterectomies and oophorectomies were still female/women and that they had to be of the female phenotype for the genetic expression of uteruses/ovaries in order to get those operations in the first place. And yes, female is a phenotype: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2680992/ We brought it back to gender, and I mentioned how identities that contradict material reality are harmful. I mentioned the white man who identifies as a Filipino woman, and how it’s wrong for that man to self-identify as a woman just like it’s wrong for him to identify as Filipino. That such behavior just enforces and incentivizes stereotypes and harms women, who are targeted by misogyny and marginalized races who are targeted by racism. We also had a brief discussion of colorism after that. I said she didn’t have to agree with me and she was basically saying she was glad to hear me and that she was learning a lot from me. She said that I clearly gave this a lot of thought and that she liked that she heard that even when I was trans-ided, I was open to hearing new information and even changed an opinion once I analyzed data and decided for myself to accept the new information. I told her I love learning and hearing new information and that hearing something new doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll adopt it, but it’s good to listen to what other people at least a little bit think so that you can better address them. I used the example of hearing/reading white supremacist rhetoric won’t make someone a white supremacist, it’s dependent upon how they interpret that information. TL;DR My therapist wasn’t as gender ideology-savvy as the intake forms led me to believe, and I got to have a discussion with her about what women and men are and non-factual self-identification and how new information can sometimes change someone’s views.

#gender critical #transracial #transgender #trans #gender identity #ok xavery #we also talked about sleeping and study skills #it's crazy how much you can talk about in an hour #how did i write this much in like ten minutes LMAO

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tjalexandernyc · 7 months

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This morning someone tagged me in a social media post about how they think my books, along with some other people's, shouldn't be classified as romcoms because they deal with heavy themes or mention trauma. The post was about how there needs to be a NEW term for books like this because they're "not just fun, silly stories." This was positioned as an act of respect for these books.

I would never police what readers want to call the books they read, or the personal system they might have for their favorite genres, but I WAS tagged in this thing so I can't pretend I didn't see it. (not gonna engage but I will write this post on my tumblr because what else is it for?) And I can't pretend it doesn't chap my caboose!

I write romantic comedies. To say they're not that because they contain some tragic elements betrays a misunderstanding of what comedy is and what it can do.

I've written and talked about this before: how Our Flag, one of the most successful streaming TV shows ever, is a romantic comedy. How Good Omens, a Comedy with a capital C, is an allegory for all types of "heavy" gender stuff. I don't want to rehash all that, but tl;dr: comedy can incorporate tragedy (and vice versa) and I believe it MUST to be effective!

I write contemporary romcoms ("contemporary" is publishing-speak for Modern AU) so yeah, there's going to be some heavy stuff in there. What am I supposed to do with a trans main character living in Florida? Just ignore All That?? That wouldn't be funny, just nonsensical. But even in a historical story--even in the fluffiest, most light-hearted romcom--your characters are struggling to find love. That's hard! It's painful, and it's disingenuous, I think, to pretend like that's not part of a romance, comedy or not.

Take a hard look at any "classic" (white, heterosexual) romcom and you'll find some trauma or tragedy. Pretty Woman? That's a meditation on sex work and gender roles. While You Were Sleeping? The underlying darkness of fantasy and lies. You've Got Mail? Gentrification and the destruction of small business. Newsflash, well-meaning reader! Comedy's had some sad stuff in it this whole time!

I couldn't help but notice that the books in that post were, I believe, queer romcoms, so I wonder how much of this insistence that they're NOT comedies is actually about how Uniquely Tragic the queer experience is considered these days. I wish people who resist the label "romcom" would take a hard look at where this urge is coming from. In the Western comedic tradition, and especially in America, comedy is often treated as lesser than drama. It makes us feel good, and the Puritans said feeling good is bad (extremely simplified version of history but yadda yadda yadda), so clearly tragedy & drama is more deserving of serious study. I reject that completely. I don't want to belong to a club that wouldn't have me, a complete clown, as a member. I don't want to be treated "seriously" if that means turning my back on comedy as real art. I don't want to separate out romcoms into "silly ones" and "serious ones." I think they all deserve to be taken as they are.

#my books #writing

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ina-nis · 1 year

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Hello there, i've seen that you have gone to therapy, (though i know it doesn't work for everyone) but how would you advise someone who thinks they may have avpd, to start?

(TL;DR at the end if you want to skip this long answer)

This is the way I've always approached therapy: there's symptoms affecting my life, I'm unable to unpack or resolve it on my own, reaching out for help didn't work (either because people couldn't help or because I had no support), I find a therapist and hope it will be a good match.

For me, it's about symptoms, not diagnoses.

You get a bunch of symptoms together, then you have a diagnosis - in my case, I found out I have AvPD through symptoms that couldn't be explained by other illnesses (avoidance itself, rejection sensitivity, low self-esteem, inferiority complex, self-isolation, no friends or social life, aversion to new situations/people, feelings of loneliness/emptiness, etc).

List your symptoms and how much they impact your day-to-day life, your ability to work or study, your ability to perform chores and socialize, etc... that's a very good start.

Accessing therapy itself can be tricky though... but that shouldn't stop you from reaching out to professional support, whether that be on a local organization, low-cost and community clinics, a teaching/university clinic or hospital, and so on. I have had some luck accessing low-cost/free therapy through hospitals and school clinics, but these are hit and miss: the waiting lists are long and you don't have much of a saying about the type of therapy or professional you'll get.

I personally am open for any and everything I can get (poverty does make treatment nearly inaccessible), but I'm aware it could end up being harmful, too. So that's always something to take into consideration.

I do not recommend CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) for AvPD or if you have any kind of ongoing trauma history. I have benefited from DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy), to deal with crisis, emotional dysregulation and social anxiety issues. These were in group. Group therapy can be good to tackle mood and anxiety issues, but it's generally short-term and can't go deeper.

I believe one-on-one, long-term therapy is beneficial the most.

I have had good experiences with IFS (Internal Family Systems) when treating trauma, and everything I learned, I still use today. I have also had very good experiences with Psychodynamic (or Psychoanalytic Therapy), and it's the kind of therapy I'm doing at the moment. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to reach results and it's incredibly frustrating when dealing with something like AvPD - not because it doesn't work, but because Personality Disorders are very hard to treat. I wish I would be able to try Schema Therapy one day, as it's a proven treatment for PDs.

As for "self" therapy (or whatever you can do meanwhile), I've always found journaling was very helpful and a form of therapy for me. Also, reading about mental illnesses and studying psychology/health-related things (that can be good or bad, it all depends on the individual), taking care of myself (diet, exercise, hygiene, etc), making sure I go outside regularly, having hobbies that don't involve looking at a screen and so on. These have always been helpful and good.

If you can afford therapy you can skip most, if not all of the stuff I said here and go straight to the right type of therapy, hire a Personality Disorder specialist or something (but make sure the person have worked with Cluster C disorders, as these professionals tend to focus on Cluster B). Schema Therapy and anything else that could help. The world is your oyster.

TL;DR: list your symptoms, reach out for support, get informed about low-cost or free clinics/hospital/organizations in your area, get on waiting lists, take care of yourself.

#ask #anonymous

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bloody-wonder · 9 months

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3, 4 and 7 for the ask x

thanks for the ask!📚

3. What’s something you read recently and wanted to argue with (either with the book or the author or the fans)?

buckle up for a good ol' book rant!

so the dreamhealers series - a cozy slice of life scifantasy story about two neurodivergent individuals forming a queerplatonic partnership - is, it turns out, the origin story of the characters which the author mca hogarth has conceived a long time before as side characters in a completely different arc in her peltedverse. i assume she started developing said arc when she was a teen and wrote the dreamhealers when she was already an adult. the result is two stories that tonally and structurally couldn't be more different but that both feature these two characters which naturally resulted in characterization consistency problems. you can't take a weird lil guy from a pastoral novel where everyone just vibes and put him into a high stakes high fantasy plot without it taking a toll on their personality. now, this is not a problem if you finish the dreamhealers and just stop after book 4, however comma goodreads shows that there's this novella following the last book and you assume it's gonna be some sort of cute epilogue and you pick it up and it turns out it's not that but rather a short backstory of the characters mca hogarth wrote for her high stakes arc BEFORE she wrote the full version of their backstory aka the dreamhealers. are you still following? anyways i read the novella and was appalled at how jarring the difference is between jahir and vasiht'h in the series and this novella which, if you read in the order i'm reading in, basically serves as a link between the dreamhealers and prince's game. on the one hand, it's cool to see how much mca hogarth grew as a writer and how much more nuanced and relatable she made her characters in the course of their development. but on the other, it made me have unpleasant ruminations about what is canon and what isn't. this novella feels like a retcon designed to make jahir and vasiht'h fit a new narrative. however, it was written before the dreamhealers - does that then make dreamhealers a retcon and not as canon? both things can't be canon bc jahir and vasiht'h in the series would never do things they do in the novella. which makes it feel like a fanfic written by someone who doesn't understand the source material.

phew did it feel good to get all of this off my chest! tl dr please read the dreamhealers but under no circumstances read "family"

4. What are your top 3 comfort reads?

to be completely honest i don't typically re-read books for comfort purposes. that's what fanfics are for!✨ the top 3 i used to re-read the most (but not in quite a while tho) are lessons (aftg), astray (captive prince) and this unfinished theseus/the minotaur fic which i believe was called asterius und which, as i was distraught to discover, had been privated by the author😭 such tasteful monsterfucking literature i have never known before or since

7. What book do you love but usually not recommend because it’s weird or intense, etc?

i love aftg but i will rather bleach my soul by reading that fandom's discourse again than recommend it to anyone. and to be clear, it's not bc i think the seires is weird or poorly written or not good enough for general audiences - it's bc no one is worthy of studying the sacred texts except for me and a couple other initiated intellectuals

book ask

#book tag #with comfort reads i need instant gratification that only my fave fanfics can provide #the family novella is wrong on many levels but ngl the aroace qpp stuff felt the most heinous to me #and i can't even be mad cause ik it's not bc the author suddenly changed her mind about them #on the contrary it's bc she wrote the prequel series later in her life #when she had better understanding of what aroaceness and qpp can look like #i was specifically irritated by them calling each other brother - and she improved on that too #vasiht'h says in dreamhearth they're the very best of friends closer than any brother or lover #and in dreamstorm he calls jahir my forever-friend #so she clearly gave some thought to more appropriate nomenclature lol #and jahir's thing with his cousin who he never mentions throughout the dreamhealers books is just. major ew vibes #and she improved on that too!#in the piano short story she found a very elegant way to make a point of him not really being aroace without being gross about it #but does all that improvement really matter if she published the other stuff and it's canon too?#at least make this novella not show as part of dreamhealers so that people aren't left with a sour taste in their mouth #all of this is aggravated by the novella's high rating bc i assume most people read it long ago #when the dreamhealers didn't exist yet and they had nothing to compare it to #but even so i think i would've disliked it #it just does feel like it was conceived by a teenager #who has like. weird kinks and notions #so i will probably not try prince's game any time soon #since it's tainted by bad!jahir and wrong!vasiht'h #but i do want to see an eldritch who fucks so ig my next stop in the peltedverse is earthrise

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tricktster · 2 years

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Sorry you hurt your back! Are you okay??? Have you seen a chiropractor?

Oh man I do not do chiropractors at all. No offense to any chiropractors out there reading this who base their practice on evidence-based science and are honest and open about what chiropractic can and cannot help with, of which I know there are many… but there’s also many chiropractors out there who engage in entirely unscientific and frankly unethical practices, and there’s no governing body out there that’s going to stop the bad practitioners from doing harm. They don’t lose their medical license because they don’t have one; chiropractors often have “Dr.” as their title, but that’s short for “Doctor of Chiropactic.” They aren’t doctors, they practice “alternative medicine.” Know what real doctors call “alternative medicine” that actually works as promised? Medicine.

It’s not just that there’s a glaring lack of evidence to support chiropractic doing anything to help basically anything but lower back pain (some studies reflect that patients may experience mild improvement in lower back pain due to chiropractic treatment, and when i say mild i mean like the same degree of relief you’d get from an ibuprofen); it’s that chiropractic as a whole does literally nothing to prevent practitioners from asserting that they can “cure” things like, oh, autism or adhd or fucking cancer through spinal manipulation.

I want to emphasize the “can cure autism” claim (which most autistic people i’ve known in my life agree is a pretty fucked up concept on its own) for a sec specifically because a massive number of practitioners are vehemently, vocally anti-vax and play right into the deranged “alternative medicine will fix the autism that evil vaccines inflicted upon my poor child” narrative. Like, this isn’t just me popping off anecdotally; Andrew Fucking Wakefield was a keynote speaker at the International Chiropractors Association’s Annual Conference on Chiropractic and Pediatrics in 2016. That’s the same Andrew Wakefield who was disgraced and lost his medical license in 1998 when it was determined he deliberately falsified data to support his false and incredibly harmful contention that vaccines cause autism. Almost 20 years after this asshole was discredited and scorned by anyone who believes in evidence based practice, and he’s a keynote speaker at a major chiropractic conference. For fuck’s sake.

Also anecdotally, i met someone a few years ago whose chiropractor damaged their cervical spine so bad doing an adjustment that they woke up to discover they were totally and permanently paralyzed from the neck down. A while later I randomly ended up talking to a neurosurgeon about their injury because I was curious how it happened and if that was just like the freakiest outlier accident of all time, and he just went “nope. i’ve tried to treat multiple patients who had the same thing happen after a chiropractor fucked with their neck, but by the time they get to me, it’s almost always too late.” Sooooo.

Annnnnnnnyway that was a wholeass rant and again, not directed at any chiropractor out there who’s practicing responsibile evidence-based treatment, or anyone who has found chiropractic treatment helpful for their own conditions. I’m all for treating soft tissue pain with therapeutic massage, stretching, and exercise whenever possible, especially when the alternative is often “here’s a lot of opiates, try not to get hooked.” It’s just that there’s nobody weeding the charlatans from the legitimate practitioners, and it has the potential to cause some really terrible outcomes beyond a patient wasting a few thousand dollars on spinal adjustments to treat their acne or whatever.

Your actual question was about how I hurt my back, and while that’s it’s own weirdly heartwarming story, the TL;DR version was I was trying to impress a boy. Well. Four boys. Four literal elementary/middle school aged boys who were watching me skate at an outdoor arena and kept yelling for me to do tricks every time I got near them, which I obviously did (and beefed it a few times trying) because I am not immune to the sheer power of preteen boys’ ability to peer pressure.

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makeste · 3 years

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So you mentioned you had this theory about AfO giving Shigaraki his Quirk, and having a more...direct influence on his backstory. Was there a previous post about this theory I could read, or if not, do you mind elaborating on it?

I’ve talked about it a bit here and there (for instance in my chapter recaps for chapters 235 through 237, and in posts like this one), but I haven’t really summarized it all together yet, so I’ll give you the short version, since I have no idea when I’ll finally get around to writing up the long version never mind lol this turned out long enough that we might as well just designate it the long version and call it a day. anyways, the basic idea is that there are far too many coincidences in Tenko’s traumatic backstory for me to believe that they are anything other than planned -- particularly since every last one of those coincidences directly benefits AFO in some way.

the fact that Tenko -- who oddly enough had been diagnosed as quirkless right up until the point where he suddenly wasn’t -- just happened to develop the perfect quirk to ensure that he would accidentally kill his entire family.

the fact that this quirk also doesn’t seem to have anything to do with either of his parents’ quirks. not that we ever saw said quirks, admittedly, but we know Kotarou’s quirk likely had something to do with Float because of genetics. and also we saw both parents touch things with all five fingers, so we know that neither of them has a touch-based quirk like the one Tenko spontaneously developed. hence the assumption that Tenko’s quirk was a mutation. but if so it’s an extremely convenient one.

the fact that all of this shit happens to their yard and house,

and not a single soul turns up to investigate. no neighbors, no cops, no heroes -- nobody. it’s not like they didn’t have neighbors, either!

it’s Japan, lol, everyone’s right on top of one another and nobody has any personal space. you can see the two neighboring houses only a few yards away on either side. and yet nobody in either of those homes heard or saw anything?? no one turned up afterwards curious about what had happened, and looking for the family?

the fact that not a single person stops Tenko on the street other than that one old lady. no one else spares so much as a glance. you could argue they were all too afraid and/or all just figured “someone else will take care of it”, which of course is exactly what Tomura thought happened as well. but putting aside the depressingly pessimistic nature of that take (and the fact that there have been actual studies conducted that show that the so-called bystander effect is actually bullshit), even if we assume that this is that one-in-ten situation where no one was willing to help, the fact that no one was even nosy enough to investigate further, and there were absolutely no heroes or other authorities in the area even after the incident at his house (again, you’re telling me no one was out there searching for the missing family?) -- all of that absolutely screams tampering to me. there’s just no way.

the fact that out of all the people who could have finally discovered him, it just happened to be AFO, and he just happened to already know exactly what had happened. (and for that matter, the fact that Ujiko made it to the crime scene in time to gather up all of the family remains and wasn’t caught or interfered with.)

and last but not least, the fact that the child who experienced all of this extraordinarily convenient misfortune just so happened to be the grandson of AFO’s arch-enemy.

so yeah. just one extremely improbable event on top of another. and now add to that the fact that all of these crazy coincidences just so happen to line up perfectly with AFO’s goals:

he wants an heir whom he can raise up as his pawn to eventually defeat OFA.

he needs that heir to harbor an extraordinarily powerful hatred.

while this is still unconfirmed, it’s heavily implied that said heir would need to be quirkless in order to be an ideal vessel for AFO (AFO probably figured this out a good deal sooner than the OFA vestiges because he has a lot more experience with forcing quirks onto other people).

this isn’t a requirement per se, but it sure is a nice bonus if that heir just so happens to be a close blood relation of one of the OFA successors whose lives he’s so determined to thoroughly destroy.

so how exactly does one go about cultivating a strong enough hatred to defeat one’s annoying brother and his persistently stubborn quirk? easy!

(1) identify a suitable target child (preferably one who’s the grandson of your hated enemy). preferably very young so that they’re easier to mold in your image, and also because it’s important for them to have not developed a quirk yet.

(2) ensure that the child is quirkless (this is easily done if you’re a guy who has the ability to steal quirks).

(3) keep close tabs on the child (whose father you’ve indirectly traumatized by killing his mother years and years ago, leading to his taking it out on his own children years later) and wait until you feel like the time is right.

(4) give the child a new deadly and uncontrollable quirk.

(5) sit back and wait for the slaughter.

(6) ensure via one of your many quirks and/or your numerous connections as the head of the criminal underworld that no authorities show up to rescue the child in the aftermath, or to basically investigate the crime scene in any way. same goes for the people on the street the next morning.

(7) wait until the child is good and traumatized and at his most vulnerable, then come to his rescue, and also make sure to point out how none of the heroes cared enough to bother.

and then the rest we basically already know lol. AFO gives him his family’s hands to ensure that the trauma stays fresh, and repeatedly drills into Tenko’s head the idea that he is a born killer, and that he can only find peace in destruction. he raises him to despise heroes in general and All Might in particular. all so that he will grow up to become AFO’s perfect vessel.

tl;dr, it was all AFO from start to finish. everything that the adult Tomura believes about heroes and society and even about himself, he believes because AFO carefully implanted, reinforced, and nurtured those beliefs in him. and that is precisely why Deku isn’t wrong when he senses that Tenko is still in there somewhere, and that he can still be saved. the key to Tomura remaining under AFO’s control is that he continues to believe AFO’s great lie that the tragedy of his life was inevitable, and was the heroes’ fault. but if and when he ever discovers the true extent of AFO’s involvement in every aspect of his childhood misfortune, whatever remains of that control is going to shatter completely, and once again AFO’s own arrogance will potentially be his downfall. it’s all well and good to go about creating monsters for your own personal gain -- until they finally come knocking on your own door. I for one would love to see Tomura be the one to personally deliver the final blow. but we’ll see!

#shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #all for one #bnha meta #tomura meta #bnha theory #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #long post

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solomonish · 3 years

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Solomon Headcanons

I didn’t like my old headcanons for him and I think I have a slightly better feel for him so I’m posting these bad boys. Maybe at this rate I’ll just post Solomon HCs every month

Also this turned into more of a “I’m going to talk about Solomon in depth and maybe throw in one headcanon about kissing him” and is no longer “lol what kind of dates do you go on? <3″ so uh. do with that what you will. It’s also SUPER LONG (or feels that way) so make sure you have a hot second to read them

you can find my for real headcanons for him here but I don’t necessarily stand by them anymore? They’re just there for fun now lol

Solomon’s Relationship With Relationships

Solomon has been alive for...a long time, and with that naturally comes a lot of experiences, negative and positive. It’s also natural that it would also have him break out of traditional structures regarding...everything, but especially things regarding relationships and specific other people.

(Not to get sociological or philosophical about society or whatever, but the way we view everything is accented heavily by the end. With exceptions, and this certainly varies from culture to culture, but as a general idea, we view things expecting them to take place over the span of 70-100 years. Certain positions in politics or business or something try to look at things generationally, but how capable of that are we and how far ahead can we truly see?)

(What I mean to say is that immortality naturally shifts the entire context in which you would view things that were expected to be “lifelong.” What once existed to enrich a life is now a tether to a system that doesn’t necessarily suit his existence.)

Psychologically, however.....I don’t think Solomon has tried to (or even can) rewire himself entirely to the point where he doesn’t feel love. He’s already got a fondness for Simeon and Luke (always crying about him calling them “dear friends” in the circus event i don’t know if he says anything in the lessons because i’m only on like 21 LOL) so he’s clearly capable of fondness and affection.

Not that those should equate exactly to romantic feelings (because they shouldn’t), but there’s undeniable similarities between platonic and romantic affection and, for the purposes of speculating about an immortal’s capability to still feel both, I think they can be equated in this regard.

There are a lot of assumptions I’m making about him to make this post, namely the following: that there is still reconciling to be done internally between his immortality and humanity, that Solomon’s composed and confident nature is a bit of a front (only a bit - I’ll explain more later), and, related to these two, that he even cares about humanity and that he still wants to preserve his humanity.

While this might be my perspective as a regular human, I really don’t believe that the desire to be human and fully encompass what that means has left. If anything, I think his intrinsic desire for knowledge and power stems from it, and he’s just suppressed the “mushier” emotional parts of that as a sort of....defense mechanism, if you will.

SO the tl;dr of this is that you know how alloromantic people just like feel in love and they get their romantic crushes and it’s natural and they can’t control it? Solomon gets that! He just isn’t the type to swoon over someone or really make it known.

He also as a person is big on being manipulative shady and in control, so if he were to just be super obvious about having a crush on someone and not being able to do anything about it, that would sort of tarnish his whole image.

So yeah, I think Solomon just has his emotions on a tight leash when they probe to be out of control. Clearly, he doesn’t have every part of him under this sort of watchful eye (whether that’s because he still wants to feel genuine happiness or he knows if he came across as emotionless and calculated people would trust him even less, I haven’t decided), but those that cause trouble stay behind locked doors.

Additionally, I don’t think Solomon is opposed to falling in love. I’d bet he’s had lots of different partners over the years and remembers them fondly (you know, assuming they ended well)

I also think his immortal status makes dating different? I feel like doesn’t really date to find a life partner because. well. (gestures).

That’s not to say that he doesn’t date casually sometimes or something. In the terms of a serious romantic partnership, though, it’s rare that it happens because he knows that it’ll die with them (and stay within him for probably forever, even if/when there comes a day he can no longer remember their name or their face).

Another assumption I’m making that I forgot to mention: I think it’s rare that Solomon’s serious, long-term partners know the true extent of the magic he dabbles in. Maybe he lets them know it’s real magic, or he pretends it’s all show magic and parlor tricks. Sometimes he pretends his pact marks are tattoos, sometimes he tells the truth. If ever these confessions are laughed off, he laughs them off too and creates a cover story.

He doesn’t intend to lie, but it’s very difficult to meet someone and explain........all of THAT. On which date to you mention that you can control 72 demons? Do you send a card explaining how you’ve been alive since Biblical times and you’re not even sure if you birthday is your real birthday anymore, let alone how old you are? And should that card be store bought or homemade?

So while it’s rare for Solomon to have a serious romantic partnership, it’s even more rare for him to be entirely understood or accepted for EVERYTHING that he is because he can’t get into it. Arguably, that hasn’t happened since his “death” in his original timeline.

A crush for Solomon isn’t a hopeless affair, either. Should you choose someone else, he’ll allow himself the disappointment and move on.

With Solomon, romantic love sparks naturally, but genuine true love isn’t some all-powerful, unstoppable force. He falls more in line with the people who believe it’s a choice and a decision, somewhere between “it’s purely a biological impulse we just gave a fancy name” and “it’s the magic that makes life more enjoyable”

With MC

In the case of MC, however, I think he might initially see it as bothersome or a hinderance to whatever his plan is with being down there for the exchange program. Maybe he convinces himself he’s just naturally attracted to you because you’re human like him. Once he comes to terms with his feelings and gets to know MC a bit more, he might even see it as a lost cause seeing as you already have several of the brothers vying for your affections.

For Solomon to act on a crush that he’s already decided is hopeless, it’ll be up to the MC to show that THEY are interested in HIM

He finds no particular pleasure in being someone who is chased after or “playing hard to get,” but he already has a complicated relationship with complicated relationships. He’s gonna need a down payment of affection a sign that there’s anything even there to pursue

Traditional flirting, while he’ll have his fun with it (and probably enjoy it at least a little - who doesn’t like feeling desirable?), doesn’t really work for him. Lots of people and creatures have used it to try and charm him, plus he has a pact with Asmo, so at this point he really sees it as more casual fun then an indication of true interest.

Honestly, to get him to realize “oh shit I actually have a chance,” you’re going to have to do two main things: 1) make him feel chosen over the others, and 2) respond to his displays of affection

Making Him Feel Chosen

This isn’t really a competition thing, or some selfish hoarding of your time. The thing is, Solomon knows he isn’t the only one in the running and he knows that anything he has to offer, somebody else could give you a portion of it.

(You won’t get the same experience or combination of traits with somebody else obvi, but with 11 suitors and an added chihuahua, there tends to be a little bit of overlap with everyone)

A crush for Solomon is a romantic interest, but if he intends on pursuing a serious relationship (which, I feel, is what he intends to be the final goal of his crushes as opposed to more casual affairs), he needs to see SOME reciprocation

Being with him is an ordeal, maybe a lifelong one for you, so he needs that assurance that it’ll be worth it and there aren’t better avenues

Basically, this means that ✨ quality time ✨ is of the utmost importance

At first, it doesn’t have to be anything big. Sit with him at lunch when you see him in the cafeteria, meet him in the library while you wait for your demon escort to be finished with their extracurriculars, chat him up in the one class you have together (and then ask him to help you study what you missed in class by talking. it’s a required transfer class but you already know everything about it, right, Solomon? 🥺)

As your relationship progresses, that’s when things start to get harder. Invite him out to things that you think he’ll enjoy, and say yes to as many excursions with him as you can. Bonus points for making it clear that you want to go when you’re unable to attend.

(He finds himself a little embarrassed how happy it makes him when instead of just a “no” or a “sorry, not today” he gets something like “I’m on dinner duty so I have to spend that time preparing :( but we should definitely make a date so you can tell me about it later!” It makes him feel like a priority.)

It isn’t until you find yourself comfortable enough to ask him to accompany you to something you want to do that he starts to realize you’re hanging out with him for him and not because he’s just offering up a bunch of fun new experiences for you to try.

You don’t even have to say “hey, i’m pretty sure you know all about the birds in the Devildom aviary but I haven’t had a chance to go and would really like to spend the day with you. Wanna come with?” If it’s something that he knows you know isn’t in his wheelhouse, he’ll be able to figure out that OH.....you’re inviting him for HIM.....oh

Make him feel like a priority, like he’s the one that you want, even out of all your choices. You can be as enthralled by the birds in that aviary as you want, just as long as you make it clear that your enthusiasm to be with him is on the same level and he’ll finally kick himself into gear.

Responding to His Affections

Now, you don’t have to do anything you don’t like. I hear in his dame card devilgram he’s a consent king, and he stands by that every day of the week

He also isn’t the type to need an exact equal to everything he does. Yes a relationship is a two way street, but this isn’t saying that if he gets you a gift you need to present him something with equal or greater value within the next 24 hours. he’s not mammon haha i’m so FUNNY

Just...let him know that he’s doing things right. His serious relationships are few and far between and people change as often as the times do, so make sure that he knows what he’s doing is landing. He’s not insecure per se, but he would like to know that he isn’t making a fool of himself entirely, you know?

Don’t brush him off in front of the brothers or he’ll think he’s read the situation all wrong and you’re back to square one. If you do it because you don’t like touching and he put an arm around your shoulder or something, that’s fine, but if he thinks you’re uncomfortable being with him in front of the brothers he’ll wonder if you even liked him at all.

To him, a secret relationship isn’t really feasible. First of all, those brothers are ALWAYS in your business so bold of you to think you’ll have ANY secrets by the time the exchange program is done, and secondly, don’t you both have enough on your plate that you shouldn’t make something that makes you happy needlessly complicated?

He is an odd case and knows there’s a lot that comes with him, so if you’re uncomfortable simply showing that you’re in a relationship and reciprocating, he’ll think you aren’t equipped to handle.....All That.

In case you haven’t noticed, he’s weird. He’s a weirdo. He doesn’t fit in. And he doesn’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen him without that stupid cape on? That's weird.

If you respond to his affections in a similar way, such as putting you arm around his waist or a hand on his back when he puts an arm around your shoulder or reaching up to fix his hair when he reaches to mess with yours, it’ll make him happy for sure. He doesn’t have any specific expectations for you but he’ll like to feel like you’re on the same wavelength.

A lot of his affections are morphed into specific and targeted teasing (but not like *gently bullies u* teasing). It’s a lot of inside jokes at your expense (and the more inside jokes he has, the more he probably likes you)

It’s also a lot of messing up your hair, sharp pokes and frustrating games like “guess what?” “i don’t know, what?” “i told you to guess, MC.” “ugh...you won the lottery” “guess better” “please don’t do this to me Solomon”

He probably responds best to Acts of Service and Quality Time (though at any stage in the relationship he’s a flexible man). While he’s trying to woo you to solidify his spot in first place against everyone else, if you continue to make the effort to be around him or like. recognize he’s taking time out of his day to romance you and do something for him in return he’ll cement the fact that oh yeah, this is happening between the two of you

(not to say that romancing you is a chore, because it’s not, but man if it doesn’t make him happy that you’re wanting to make his life easier on him so he can pursue the other things he enjoys, too.)

What a Relationship with Solomon is Like

He isn’t the biggest person on PDA, or at least not on purpose. He won’t see you and immediately be like ‘oh there they are i need to kiss them kiss kiss kiss’ or whatever, but he’s not averse to it?

He doesn’t want physical affection to be a big deal, or at least not in public. unless that’s what you’re into ;) If the two of you are out and about and you kiss his hand, or you’re a generally physically affectionate person he’ll smile and respond and be generally unbothered by it, but don’t expect him to ever really have the desire to like make out in public or something. Really, you probably won’t get much more than a quick kiss because he DOES always have other things on his mind.

You will NOT be able to get out of him messing with you. If you need him to tone it down that’s fine, but the more you let him get away with, the less energy he’ll have to redirect into other troublemaking activities

Has a weird thing with licking too probably? like he’s not gross about it and it’s not like a NSFW fixation but he’ll do that mom thing where he licks his thumb because “you’ve got something on your cheek” and then reveal that he’s a LIAR

or he’ll put his face really close to yours and stick his tongue out when you turn your head so it hits your cheek

it just gets such a DRAMATIC reaction out of you so that’s why he does it? if you ask him genuinely to stop he will but if you comment on it he’ll just give you a small smile and not say anything then continue to do it

when he messes with you, it’s ok if you say he’s doing something weird but don’t make him feel childish. setting boundaries (and making regular observations - he is kinda weird) is more than alright but admonishing him just feels......off and will turn him sour for a bit

VERY appreciative of someone who supports his adventurous side. Also fond of someone who’s happy to tag along but knows that some things he has to do on his own.

Even if you don’t want to go, he’ll appreciate the support or the interest you show in what he does. Ask him where he’s going and what he’s doing there, but ask him because you’re interested and not because you’re overly worried.

Please be there for him when he gets back to talk about it. He really likes feeling important or cool when he tells his tales, even if all he did was go and catch a few magic salamanders or something.

PLEASE be a soundboard for all of his ideas. He knows that sometimes he’ll talk about things that are way over your head that he hasn’t learned yet, but he really does want your undivided attention. It doesn’t matter if you’re encouraging him, debating with him, telling him the idea is stupid (though don’t pull this one too often unless you intend to ask to be let in to the fun) or just watching in confusion. It’s important to him that you value what he has to say, and he hopes one day that he’ll be able to tell you anything and you’ll have a response to it all. (Even if you don’t learn magic to the degree he knows it, he hopes you’ll get to a point where you understand what he wants, even if you don’t know what magical elements he’s talking about or something.)

A relationship with Solomon is one where you’re both independent, but also can’t imagine not going to the other at the end of the day. It’s startling how quickly you become constant in the other’s life despite being in COMPLETELY different stages of magical development and learning about the demon world.

The relationship will be lots of fun, but there will be many serious moments, too.

They’ll happen randomly. Maybe something from a class or a spell reminds him of something from his past, or maybe he’s reminded that he can’t remember so many things that he knows were important to him.

Sometimes, his Tuesday night blues will feel like a life-changing existential crises for you, but please, do what you can to be there for him in these moments. It worries him how much love and happiness he’s lost, especially when he knows he promised to remember it.

Once you get him to think aloud, he’ll say super heavy stuff life “What if I’ve forgotten who I really am and now I’m just something other people and magic have morphed me into?” or “When will the human race evolve or go extinct and leave me behind?” and it fucks you up, really. It fucks him up too

But please be patient with him, because there’s something important he has to get off his chest eventually. He’s worried already that he’ll forget you the way he’s probably forgotten so many others, but he doesn’t want to offend you and know that saying it would come off as uncaring.

You won’t have an answer for these moments, and he knows it. It’ll be best if you just hold him tight, stroke his hair if you’re laying down, and reassure him that you don’t care.

With how long he’s been alive, you’ll have to get past caring if you’re his “one true love” because he doesn’t have that. He gave up the right to having a one true love in exchange for never-ending life. But he still loves and he does love deeply, it just has a lot to cut through to properly be articulated.

So tell him. Tell him you know he’s had other loves, that you know you might not even be the best partner suited to him that he’s had. Tell him that you know when your time has come, he’ll find someone else eventually.

Tell him that what matters to you is that he loves you now, that he’s making things work with you now, and that he isn’t secretly yearning for some lover that’s come to pass or yet to come when he’s with you.

You can’t control what happened in the past or what happens in the future, but right now he’s yours and you’re his and he needs to learn to take things one lifetime at a time. Right now is YOUR Solomon time, and what happens after is just a consequence of time and you’ve already forgiven him for it.

instead of “mom says it’s my turn on the xbox” it’s “god says it’s MY turn on the Solomon”

send that to him for real and he’ll probably never forget you lol

How to Make a Relationship with Solomon Work

With all this in mind, the key to a good relationship with Solomon is keeping his head on his shoulders.

He’s ambitious, powerful, scary smart, and capable of so much more than you can even guess and he knows it. It’ll be good for him to have somebody to keep him on the ground.

Now, don’t be overbearing. If you try to stop him from going places or try to hinder his pursuit of knowledge out of fear for his safety, that’ll cause unbelievable strain on him. You will have to learn to let him work his things out the way he wants to, and it won’t always be the safest or most responsible way either.

He doesn’t mind a gentle scolding if he gets hurt. He won’t say it, but he kinda likes to be reminded how important he is to you.

Also be down to have fun and be a little reckless. Your safety will always be a priority to him, but nobody ever got anywhere without a little struggle, right? Sometimes adventuring with him and following him into the darkest magical corners of the world will require multiple (sometime literal) leaps of faith, but he’ll always be there to catch you.

Let Solomon work for you and the relationship, and you work to keep him sane and remind him that he can belong somewhere, even when he’s been himself for who knows how long and nowhere ever really stays the same.

You’ll always have to remind Solomon that not everything revolves around magic and power. He’s not been mortal for some time, so he gets caught up in the heady and lofty topics and ideas.

Remind him about the simple joys of just having fun and goofing off, that not every moment not spent on homework has to be spent on potions. Remind him (in the human world) how cool a sunset is, or convince him to go through a museum and pretend he’s seeing everything for the first time.

As much as he lives for understanding the grand topics most people can only dream of beginning to grasp, remind him of the little things. Remind him of human indulgences that he’s abandoned. Get him back in touch with that part of himself.

Solomon as a character feels like he’d be really aloof, but he’s honestly extremely devoted to what he invests his time in. He shows this devotion in small ways that feel more like riddles sometimes, in the way he always comes back after a rather dangerous magical excursion, in the way he shortens his time away so he can get back to you, in the way he learns to quiet his mind so he can properly take care of you and what you need and strengthen your relationship.

One thing that I think is a hallmark of a relationship with him is that Solomon loves things that can teach him more about what he doesn’t know. You don’t need to be the smartest person on the planet, or have a specialized and thorough education in some bizarre topic, or come from somewhere entirely different than what he knows to keep his interest.

You are uniquely human, and you help teach him about himself, the one thing that he can never seem to properly grasp and understand the way he wants to.

More importantly, you are you, the one who made pacts with all seven demon lords, the one captured his heart and promised to take care of it when you could throw it away for anybody else.

And you are the only one who could say those words that he believes. Hopefully, you’ll believe him when he says them, too.

#i feel like i was toeing a line that might have like. disrespected aromanticism and if i did i am so sorry #i just think that like. personally as someone who is alloromantic but not necessarily super OBVIOUS about feeling romantic attraction #there is a line between just being casually romantic or something and aromantic like #yeah i wanna marry my best friend but i still wanna MARRY them you know #marriage being taken here in a romantic context and not just a social institution #i don't know. maybe i just want him to be romantic so i can be romantically involved with him and i'm digging too deep with it #tldr aromantic rights!!!#obey me #obey me shall we date #swd obey me #obey me swd #solomon #obey me solomon #solomon hcs #mine #solomon fluff #?#long post

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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years

Text

Mistakenly Saving the Villain - Chapter 1

Original Title: 论救错反派的下场

Genres: Drama, Romance, Xianxia, Yaoi

TW for this chapter: Mentions of suicide

I wanted to provide some ~variety~ so I'm doing another novel. I'll give a warning that the first few chapters are kind of intense and I'll keep the TWs updated as they come and put a TL;DR at the end if there's anything too graphic.

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 1 - The Beauty in Red

Song Qingshi is dead.

After his death, he came to in a strange space, and in the space, there was a sphere randomly flashing red.

The sphere said that he is a book-transmigrating system from a high-dimensional world. There was a xiania novel called "The Exceptional Furnace", which was about to be plagued by readers' resentment due to the tragic fate of the protagonist, causing problems in that world. It needed to find someone who is familiar with the tropes of these novels and someone with the power to change and repair the body and mind of the protagonist, and fulfill the readers' wishes - change the fate of the protagonist, dote on him, and let him live the happiest and most fulfilling life □□ □□□□□

The information in the system came intermittently, and in the □□ there were incomprehensible, alien-like characters.

Song Qingshi suffered from Lou Gehrig's Disease during his lifetime and devoted himself to studying medicine to try and save himself. He was a medical student who studied and experimented frantically every day and never wasted time reading novels.

In terms of emotions, he is even more obtuse. Although he is very handsome and has an attractive and obedient personality, due to his physical problems, even the school bully treated him like a precious thing. With all the excessive loving care and sympathy, not only did he never have a crush, but he also suffered from a slight fear of talking to strangers.

This was the worst soul for this task.

Song Qingshi didn't know how he was picked up by the system. He had read Marxist philosophy novels in vain. But from his messy information and analysis from the system's explanation, as long as he accepts the task, the system will send him to the virtual book world, give him a healthy body, and he will come back to life.

After Song Qingshi realized this, he was ecstatic. A healthy body is was his biggest desire. Not to mention the fact that the system only asked that he take care of someone. Even if the system had asked him to swim through seas of fire, he would have accepted still.

Because of this, he ignored his conscience, structured his response, and lied for the first time in his life: "I have read tens of thousands of books that I have memorized. I have extensive medical and nursing knowledge, have taken a psychology course as an elective, and I could solve all the physical and mental sufferings of the protagonist. And love. . . I have lots of experience with love, I know how to communicate, absolutely, I. . . can definitely accomplish these tasks!"

If there was any blood that could exist in a soul, he would definitely be flushed.

The system didn't notice his lies. It registered the identity of the task performer, and sent a series of garbled commands, mixed with all kinds of chaotic and disorderly information into Song Qingshi's mind, sending waves of discomfort through his soul.

Suddenly, the system let out a sharp alarm and the data transmission was cut off. Song Qingshi's vision went black, and his soul drifted away towards a bright white light. . .

. . .

When Song Qingshi woke up, he found himself lying in the woods, surrounded by the faint fragrance of various herbs. He squinted his eyes and looked towards the dazzling blue sky. There was a gorgeous golden luan bird dragging its long tail feathers, letting out a loud caw as it flew past, with countless immortal birds following it.

Was this the world from the novel?

It seemed too real. . .

A soft breeze blew across the forest, shaking off the dew on the trees. The dew fell onto his pale fingertips, bringing a slightly cool feeling. Then, all the memories of the original body flooded into his mind like a tidal wave, trying to merge with his own soul - this body was also called Song Qingshi, the master of the Medicine King's Valley, and the most talented medical immortal and pharmaceutical expert in the immortal world. His medical skills could heal the dead and revive bones, and the spirit pills he cultivates were considered treasures by every cultivator.

However, the original body's temperament was extremely troubling. He rarely left Medicine King's Valley at all, never made friends, and had no interest in matters other than medicine and alchemy. When a patient sought him out, he only looks at their temperament and never asked their identity. When he was in a good mood, he treated mortal beggars. When he was in a bad mood, regardless of the identity of the visitor, he would turn them into flower fertilizer for his garden. He often used living people to test medicines. Cruel, but because of his Nascent Soul cultivation base and various skills with poisons, the immortal sects didn't dare provoke him easily, only secretly calling him troubling behind his back.

Cultivators in the immortal world had long life spans, and the knowledge and memory of this original body had for its hundreds of years of cultivation had not arrived yet. Various data fragments of the system rushed in frantically, with countless garbled codes, tearing the original body's memory into a mess, leaving Song Qingshi at a loss. It took a long time before he managed to figure out his current situation.

This was Golden Phoenix Mountain Manor, the most luxurious place in the immortal world, where there are rare and exotic animals and countless immortals and beautiful concubines.

The owner, Jin FeiRen, was also a great Nascent cultivator. He was a true romantic, an excessive spender, and had friends from both the immortal and demonic cultivation world. He was a well-known figure.

The original body had always been cold, obsessed with his work, and never touched either men and women. Today's arrival was accidental. The Manor Lord Jin wanted to give him Ten Thousand Year Snow Ginseng to exchange a batch of medicinal pills for him. The original body had recently been lacking Snow Ginseng to make his medicines, so he agreed to the deal.

Since Snow Ginseng grows in the secret realm of the snow mountains of the Jin family. If you wanted to get the ones with the best medicinal properties, you needed to pick them at night and preserve it with a special refining method. Therefore, the original body came here to pick it personally, and Song Qingshi somehow ended up here.

Then, Song Qingshi was sent here by the system. . .

Where was the protagonist? What does he look like?

Song Qingshi wanted to ask the system to ask for more information, but the system seemed to disappear. The materials it sent not only contained no plot points from the novel, but also very little character information. There were garbled characters everywhere, even though the protagonist hadn't been introduced yet. Song Qingshi got dizzy going through all this information before he found some descriptions in the copywriting introduction: the best physique, unmatched beauty shou X□□□□□ gong, procured by trickery, sadomasochistic, □□, □□, □□ There were only three texts that could be read clearly: Banquet of Bea□□□.

. . .

If this were someone who often read these types of novels, they would immediately recognize that this situation was problematic.

Song Qingshi, however, didn't recognize any of this as problematic. He believed that this was a test given by the system to assess his reasoning skills and ability to do things. Song Qingshi was very accustomed to being assessed like this. Usually, when he and his teacher started developing a new drug, he often didn't have any prior results in his hand. It required some experimentation and to experience many errors and difficulties in order to reach the final result. Most of the time, that result was not what they were hoping for.

Many pharmaceutical companies invest billions or even tens of billions in drug research. Scholars have spent decades trying, right until their hair turned grey, only to fail during their clinical trials.

Therefore, every drug researcher is a strong man who has experienced many battles, repeated defeats and never-ending setbacks.

These questions from Teacher System were not difficult!

Scholar-Tryant Song expressed no fear! He will definitely find the correct answer and live up to the teacher's expectations of him!

Song Qingshi thought about the information he was given, determined the goal of the protagonist, and then quickly understood the key points of the novel: the protagonist will appear at the Banquet of Beauties, it will be a male, homosexual, unmatched beauty, superb body; a pitiful character with a tragic fate. He needs to save the protagonist, give him the greatest care, heal his physical and mental health, and then help him find happiness and joy!

During Song Qingshi's time, respect for sexual orientation was written into the law, and same-sex couples could get married.

He once found a novel lost by a rotten girl classmate, titled "His Evil Majesty's Spoiled Husband". On the cover was a handsome and domineering man in a period costume holding a beautiful woman with long hair with a super flat chest. He didn't understand it, and returned the book. When he asked curiously, his classmates told him what Danmei was, and told him that the beauty on the cover was actually male. The beautiful male was the "shou", and the domineering one was the "gong". So Song Qingshi is confident that he would easily distinguish between the gong and the shou in the novel. He would never mistake the gong as the protagonist.

He had thought it through and the direction of problem-solving has been determined. All that was left was to wait for the Banquet of Beauties to start the exam.

Song Qingshi's spiritual sea gradually became clear. The soul and body were merged and became flexible. He sat up with his hands cautiously, took off his shoes, raised his feet, and tried to stretch the toes that had been stiff for many years. The white and round toes curled happily. Song Qingshi stood up shakily, briefly walking forward a few steps with hands and feet before finally remembered the walking posture of a normal person, and his movements gradually changed from jerky to steady. . .

Under his feet was soft green grass and moist soil.

Outside the forest was a calm river. Song Qingshi stepped into the water and took a handful of cold river water to wash his face, confirming that he was not in a dream.

Tears fell out of extreme joy, and the big tears fell onto his palms. His hands couldn't stop no matter how much he tried. The river calmed down from the slight disturbance, and the reflection of the boy's figure appeared.

Song Qingshi was surprised to find that the body given to him by the system was very similar to his high school appearance; he was not very tall and significantly thinner. He wore a Daoist cultivator outfit made of many layers of snow-coloured cloud brocade, wrapped tightly around his body. At first glance, all the layers of clothing gave the illusion of a frail man.

His thin hair was simply tied up with some loose hair dangling freely. His appearance may be related to immortal cultivation. He is a bit more refined than his original body, with a cold, pale complexion and clear eyes. Because he often blocks out the world and focuses on his study, he feels a bit dull and extremely gullible, leading many unlucky ghosts to think that the original was harmless and would become the fertilizer or poison tester.

. . .

After Song Qingshi vented his emotions and saw the red-rimmed eyes in the reflection, he was a little embarrassed. He hurriedly lowered his head and fetched water, trying to wash away the tears on his face, but behind him came the sound of fine bells and ridicule.

"It's useless to commit suicide. It will only cause you needless pain. If you are still not reconciled, you can try and sink slowly to see if you can succeed."

Surprised, Song Qingshi turned around and saw the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his life.

There were trees full of peach blossoms, and under the tree was a beautiful young boy in red. Who knows how long he was watching Song Qingshi stupidly crying. The young man's appearance was blooming, like a scroll of rich colours and ink, painted with all the romantic colours of the world. The warm jade-like skin, the most beautiful thing about him were the dark golden phoenix eyes under the crow-feather-like eyelashes. He resembled a noble and dignified phoenix in the sky, but there was an extremely gorgeous red tear-shared mole under the corner of his left eye, desecrating his nobleness. The dignity of his appearance was crushed, and the phoenix rejoined the mortal world, turning into a creature stained with flattery and seductiveness which made people feel unbearable tempted.

His long hair was untied and hung casually around his waist. The ends of his hair were slightly curled, his feet were bare, and he was only wearing a red dress made of shark silk. The shark silk was as smooth as water, clinging to his body, covering all the desirables underneath.

Song Qingshi did not think anything blasphemous, but because he was caught crying, his social anxiety became more intense. After a long pause of building courage, he stumbled and said: "I, I just..."

His hesitation became reluctant approval in the eyes of the beauty in red.

There are dangerous monsters and birds everywhere in the immortal world. Cultivators were equipped with spiritual auras and keen senses, and can easily detect the wind and grass around them. Even the minor cultivators in the time they were establishing their cultivation base would not miss the sound of mortal footsteps with bells, let alone the Nascent Soul cultivators. If they release their spiritual thoughts, the smallest creatures on the mountain would not escape their attention. Except for Song Qingshi, a newly-born soul who had just arrived in this world, and was still very unused to spiritual power and these world conditions. . .

The beauty in red had completely misunderstood, thinking that Song Qingshi was also a mortal. There was only one use for such a beautiful mortal in Golden Phoenix Manor. He clarified: "A new slave?"

Song Qingshi looked up in amazement. He wanted to ask questions, but his eyes fell on the beauty of the red dress. There seemed to be some strange bruises on his neck as if it had been bitten by a mosquito, but it seemed that it might be something else. He took a few more secretive glances, trying to determine what they were.

The beauty in red noticed his curious glances and his heart grew upset. With growing malicious intent, a very gentle smile appeared on his face, and he said in a sincerely blessed tone: "Don't stare, you will have them soon, too."

Song Qingshi was very sheltered before transmigrating. He had never encountered malice and did not understand the mystery behind these words. Although he thought this blessing was a bit strange, he still answered politely: "Thank you."

The beauty in red choked hearing this answer. He was stunned for a moment. He looked at Song Qingshi up and down like a fool, and found that the person in front of him was clean and his skin was free of any injuries. He had never experienced the ravages of hell in his eyes. He was pure.

This discovery made him feel pity for the heart that had been tempered by suffering. He retracted his sharp malice and said softly, "After tonight, you will know that death is a luxury." He turned slightly to his side, looking at the river's flow. He warned, "When I first came here, I tried to commit suicide many times, but it was useless. We are slaves who are branded with the Acacia Seal. Our spirits belong to our master. So long as the master doesn't allow it, we cannot die, even by our own hands. . .

The beauty in red was silent for a long time. He slowly stretched out his hand and stroked Song Qing's hair that was soft as the fur of a small animal.

Song Qingshi saw several red rope marks on his pale wrists. He realized that this was pain that the beauty wouldn't want to be questioned about, so he pushed down his curiosity.

The fingertips of the red-dressed beauty slipped from his hair to Song Qingshi's delicate face, watching his innocent expression. He held his hand there for a moment before putting it down, conflicted. He didn't want to say any more. Since he didn't know those nightmarish experiences, it was useless to say anything more. Being able to preserve this kind of innocence, it was one more moment of happiness for him. Finally, he sighed, "You look good, but unfortunately the more your looks improve as you grow, the longer it will be until you're freed. . ."

Song Qingshi was puzzled: "What do you mean by 'freed'?"

"You'll know soon." The beauty in red's expression suddenly relaxed. He glanced around carefully, then stretched out his index finger and tapped his lips lightly. With a voice so light that he could barely hear it, he said ambiguously, "Tonight I will be freed. . ."

The beauty in red turned around with a smile and, with a crisp ring of the bells, turned to leave. His steps were a bit unstable, and each step was strenuous, like a mermaid walking on the tip of a knife in pain.

A pair of exquisite gold shackles were exposed on the beauty's ankles under the red clothes. Each of the shackles was decorated with an exquisite bell. The middle was connected by a slender golden chain. When walking, the bell shook slightly and made a clear and sweet sound, just like a tethered bird.

The golden chain dragged across the grass, and a few drops of blood dropped onto the green leaves.

Song Qingshi mustered up the courage to overcome his social anxiety, and shouted to the beauty who was about to leave: "Are you. . .injured? I, I know medical skills. . . Do you need me to treat you?"

The beauty in red turned back, looked at him for a few seconds, and he couldn't help but smile. This time the smile finally reached his eyes, like a ray of golden sunlight breaking through the clouds, dazzlingly beautiful. He shook his head towards Song Qingshi, and gave himself a sincere blessing: "I hope you have better luck tonight."

He turned his head, and the sunlight in his eyes disappeared in a flash, as if it had never existed, only the dark clouds that would not retreat.

Having endured these nightmares for years, he has long learned not to remember the kindness of others, and not to care about being offered charity from others.

He walked alone in this prison without stopping, step after step, wearing those painful shackles.

#mistakenly saving the villain #chinese bl #english translation #论救错反派的下场 #song qingshi #chinese novel #mistakenly saving the villain translation

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magnus-the-maqnificent · 3 years

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Not the anon. But can you share your thoughts™ on malec soulmates please 😇

Sorry this took a while to get to I had to untangle them thoughtsTM (how tf did you make that superscript) like a pair of earphones. (Also I had to study 🥲)

Okay so... Are Malec soulmates?

Short answer - yes bitch YES

Long answer -

First of all... what even are soulmates? Like, they’re people who fit together, who work well together, right? They bring out the best of each other, and each is practically home for the other(s). A soulmate bond (a metaphorical bond obviously) is basically just... the closest you can bring two hearts together, be it romantically or platonically. And Malec basically fits the bill. They’re an amazing team, and once they get past their initial bumpy road of lack of communication, they can read each other like the back of their palms. They’re literally taking the world by storm. And the amount of love they have for each other... I seriously can’t put it in words, and I hope no one ever asks me to 😭

Secondly, the question of personalities. Which... honestly don’t really matter lmao... Atleast in my opinion. Like... two people can have the exact same personalities but it won’t mean shit unless you communicate and sometimes you just don’t click. At the end of the day, all you need is to feel a connection with the other person(s) and Magnus and Alec, despite their completely opposing personalities have a very, very strong connection. (Also they have the whole Angel/demon justice/mercy ying-and-yang black-and-white kinda aesthetic going on might as well make it more poetic and throw in ‘soulmates’ too.) Oh! And I like to believe that their opposite personalities complement each other very well - I like to believe that Magnus does the small talk for the both of them, for example. And they both learn a lot from each other, always taking pages out of the other’s books. It’s like... two amazing things coming together to create something much more amazing... like the way the vocals and instruments of a song work together to create something beautiful.

Third... the whole fate thing. Is fate even a thing? Can two people be fated to be together? I think... yes? I mean, what are the chances that out of seven billion people, several thousand acquaintances, it happens to be for this/these particular person/people that your heart and mind just go ‘THEM’? What are the chances of two people being roommates, becoming friends, becoming lovers, etc? But... and I’m completely going off on a tangent here, but what if there’s several universes? Would your soulmate(s) be the same in all the universes, or would you have different soulmates in different universes? If that one theory about how your choices can create completely different parallel universes is true, then wouldn’t your choices to stay with your soulmate in this universe potentially jeopardise your relationship with them in the other universe, thus potentially giving way to a completely different soulmate in the second universe?

Idk about all that, but the universe thing for Malec is... clearly a no. See: Thule!malec (yeeeaahhhh they died but they died together and that counts right?), s1ep10 of the show, and that one quote from one of the books that I distinctly remember that’s from Alec’s POV and is something about how he and Magnus would find their way to each other in any universe. (I can’t remember where it is from tho aisjsksjsksks). And the fate part... well... fate is basically like... the path of your life, written by a higher hand, by something greater. And... well... in Malec’s case... their story was quite literally written by a higher hand (hello, Miss Clare! :D) and seeing as they were intended to be together from the very start... yeah I’d say it’s fate. (SHHHHHH MY LOGIC MAKES SENSE OKAY)

Fourth, thinking about soulmates reminds me of this thing from Hindu mythology, where two Gods (Lakshmi and Vishnu) are married, and sometimes they choose to be reincarnated as humans on earth, and in every single one of their rebirths, they seek out each other, they choose to live together, and even if their stories end in tragedy, one day their time on earth runs out and they always return ‘home’, to each other. And... that’s pretty much what being soulmates is, right? To always choose them. Magnus could’ve easily given up on Alec, could’ve chosen to ‘protect’ his heart rather than be vulnerable around him. Alec could’ve easily chosen not to get back together with Magnus, could’ve chosen to live a simple predictable shadowhunter life. But they always choose the other, and they’ve made a home together. And no matter what happens, at the end of the day, they both know that they can go home and find the other waiting for them. They freely chose each other, and they made themselves soulmates.

Fifth, I once saw someone describe Malec as the ‘we made it through’ couple of tmi, and honestly? I couldn’t agree more. Magnus and Alec have had their fair share of internal and external conflicts, have been through three wars, two trips to hell, one demonic cult, and they’re still standing strong. The whole world could be against them and they’d still be standing, defiant, never letting go of each other’s hands, and I think that’s very sexy of them. And now I shall circle back and bring up the soulmates myth of the red string of fate that goes ‘the string can tangle and knot but it will never break’. The string, the relationship, will never break. Soulmates always make it through the wringer. And malec made it through.

Lastly, Magnus was Alec’s only romance, so i guess it goes without saying that Magnus is Alec’s soulmate. But what about the other way round? Magnus has had several great loves throughout his long immortal life, and he may have several more after Alec. However, it’s clear that marriage was never in the cards for his past loves, but since marriage isn’t the height of love, I’ll just let that one slide. But, it’s been implied in rsom that several of Magnus’s insecurities stem from his past lovers, and we know that very few of them stayed till the end. I was rereading tbc the other day, and in the first story, right after the break up with Imasu, Magnus thinks about how there could never be peace for ‘someone like him’... and then fast forward to the eighth story, where he see just how much peace Magnus found with Alec, despite knowing him for only a few weeks. From what we’ve seen, it’s clear that the unconditional love and acceptance that Magnus found from Alec was unlike any other, which is why I firmly believe that Alec is Magnus’s soulmate too.

This... got way longer than I intended. If atleast 1% of it makes sense I’ll be glad ajshsjsjksks 😅😅😅

TL;DR, Yes, Magnus and Alec are soulmates.

#don’t mind me ramblings #I rambled a LOT on this one aksjskjsjsks #it was fun tho #tsc #alec lightwood #magnus bane #alec lightwood bane #magnus lightwood bane #malec #tec #tmi

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