#At least the big dangerous guy gets a satisfying resolution down the line

[atonalginger]

TIL you think the family drama you've set up for your big tough, dangerous character is far enough removed from your own lived experiences to trigger any memories or feelings and then you get to writing and...SURPRISE SAME HAT!

[yespolkadotkitty]

Catfish for Dinner

A dark!Catfish piece inspired by @pajamasecrets​ ‘ HCs here (and thank you for the beta!!). This will be a series of one-shots like my Hummingbird and Nightingale ‘verses.

My Asian OC has been tasked with infiltrating a dangerous weapons cartel undercover.

Warnings: Violence, insinuations of violence, and insinuations of rape.

Catfish for dinner, the note read. I stuffed it in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed without tasting. If anyone were to discover that Maria the cook had been passing messages to me…. my stomach whirled at the thought of what might happen to her.

What the note meant, I had no clue. I only had to stay alive until I found out.

Later that day, the buzz of a small plane interrupted a make-out session I was enduring with one of Cerrino’s lackeys. I didn’t dare look up; I continued moaning as if his mouth was a gift from God (it wasn’t).

The pilot of the little Cessna 172 appeared at dinner. The staff served their usual smorgasbord of mediterranean fish, steak, and vine leaves, with copious amounts of wine.

Cerrino stood and gestured widely. “Ah, at last, our new pilot,” he announced. “May he live longer than Nikolai.”

I swallowed, the wine like dust in my mouth, as I recalled the end Nikolai had met. Unsavoury was a severe understatement.

The stranger stood on the steps leading up to the big table, silent. A ballcap that read standard oil company was tugged low on his head, hiding his eyes. I got the impression of a strong jaw, scruffy at the edges, and broad shoulders. He wore a faded red button down and dirty jeans atop aged hiking boots.

“Meet Catfish,” Cerrino drawled, toasting with his glass. A little wine sloshed down out of the glass and on to one of the cartel lackey’s heads. He did not react; he knew better. “Before you sit at my table, I need to know you are loyal.”

Without preamble, he pulled a Glock 19 from his waistband and tossed it to Catfish. The tanned man caught it and checked the cartridge.

Cerrino yanked up the lackey he’d spilled wine on by the collar. The man’s dyed blond hair was streaked with red from the alcohol, a twisted sort of foreboding. “Kill him.”

The lackey started trembling.

My gaze was riveted on Catfish. He lifted his head and I caught his gaze for a fraction of a second - big soulful brown eyes that looked very, very tired.

He pulled the trigger. His hand didn’t shake. Not once.

A couple of lackeys came to clean up what was left of their colleague. Cerrino sat back down and stuffed a vine leaf in his mouth like he wasn’t covered in blood spatter.

Catfish had made a clean kill - a single headshot. But my stomach still rebelled. I covered it by taking a tiny sip of wine, holding the liquid in my mouth, and trying not to vomit.

“Come, sit.” Cerrino gestured to the space between me and another girl, also Chinese, her inky black hair pulled into a high ponytail. Cerrino and his fellow arms dealers seemed to have a thing for Asian girls. Not that I could complain. It was the reason I’d been able to infiltrate them, wasn’t it?

Catfish slid the pistol into the back of his waistband and moved over to our side of the table on silent feet, despite his rangy, muscular form. He wasn’t big, but lean and lithe. Dark hair curled out from under his ballcap. As he pulled out a chair and sat, I glimpsed a smattering of grey in the patchy scruff clinging to his jawline. His scent reached me, motor oil and clean sweat and just a kiss of thyme. A combination that could quickly become addictive, if a girl wasn’t careful.

One of the staff moved to pour him wine. He didn’t react.

I clenched my free hand on my thigh, nervous. Was this who Maria’s note had meant, and if so, was he going to say something?

“The house is yours,” Cerrino said across the table through a mouthful of oily fish. A little grease ran down his chin; he didn’t bother to swipe it away. “As are the girls. Any you like; I am generous to those who... remain loyal to me.”

The unspoken subtext in his words were crystal clear.

Catfish sipped his wine. His gaze darted to me and then to Abigail, the girl on his other side. She smiled at him nervously. Newer than me, she’d cried the day before yesterday and narrowly escaped a beating for it.

Abigail - not her real name, I suspected - met my gaze behind Catfish’s back, and shook her head minutely. She’d been a virgin when she’d arrived here-- I knew.

I hadn’t even breathed a syllable about my real intentions here to anyone. Even Maria, on agency payroll, wasn’t a hundred percent sure who I was-- only that I was important and that she was to feed me whatever information came her way.

Resolutely, I winked at Abigail. I would make advances on the man between us to save her from having to bed him. I let my gaze rake over him. Tall, rangy. Mid forties, perhaps? Those big dark eyes would be nice to look into while I pretended to enjoy myself. Over the last six months I’d become very good at pretending. 

If I didn’t get out soon, the line between pretense and reality would blur even further.

Abigail’s face deflated in relief and she went back to picking at her food.

“What’s the matter?” Cerrino asked, his wine glass full again. “Those two not to your liking?”

I looked up and around the room. I had become used to this debauchery at dinner. Several of Cerrino’s inner circle had girls on their laps who fed them tidbits of food. Sometimes they fed  us girls, either with their hands or directly from their mouths. That was my least favourite.

Cerrino’s right hand man, Addison, sat to his left, his tongue so far down a girl’s throat that he could easily have been examining her tonsils. I hated kissing Addison.

I’d been surprised an hour earlier when Abigail and I had been seated together, no man between us. Now I knew why.

Catfish set his wine down and drummed his finger on the table. If I was reading him right, he had no wish to dally with either of us, but I knew Cerrino when he was drunk. He liked everyone under the cartel’s influence to fall in with him; share his vices, be equally complicit.

“Kiss me,” I hissed.

Catfish’s dark brow winged up.

“Not Abigail,” I murmured, smiling through it as I leaned into him. “Me. Abigail is scared.”

If he understood what I meant, he didn’t show it. Instead, he gave me an almost imperceptible nod, and then pushed his chair back and tugged me on to his lap. I perched on his thigh as his arm came tight around my waist and he lifted his face for a kiss. I couldn’t read the emotion in his bottomless brown eyes--if indeed any emotion was present--but I’d rather it was me than Abigail, so I lowered my head and met his mouth.

He kissed me hard, licking into my mouth right away. He tasted of red wine and just a shiver of mint, and the scruff on his top lip tickled my skin. At any moment, I expected his free hand to come up and grope me, somewhere, anywhere, but he only kissed me, nipping my bottom lip as he ended the contact.

Cerrino had sat down to eat again, apparently satisfied. I knew what would happen now. I would have to go to this man’s room tonight. I would be at his mercy. 

Dinner continued. Catfish held me on his lap, saying nothing, and I wondered if I would ever hear his voice. I kept replaying the moment he’d shot the lackey in my mind, like taking a life was nothing to him. If that was so, he truly belonged among these terrifying men.

I tried to eat. Catfish didn’t comment as I forced down a few bites of vine leaves and fish. The food was delicious as usual, spiced and savoury, and I gulped water. For his part, Catfish seemed to listen to the conversations between the men and Cerrino. His face seemed relaxed, but I could feel the tension coiled in his long, lean body as he sat beneath me.

I peeked over his shoulder. The Glock sat there, just a few inches from my arm around his neck. 

Abigail saw the path of my gaze and shook her head minutely.

I could do it, though. I knew I could.

I just needed a distraction. Was I planning on shooting anyone right now? No. Of course not. But a gun, stashed somewhere in my tiny little room, that’d be something worth having. Even if it had only that one bullet in it. I could surely steal the correct ammunition from somewhere in this Godforsaken pleasure pit.

Humming as if I was having a grand time, I trailed my hand up Catfish’s chest, toying with the open neck of his button-down shirt. He didn’t outwardly react, but I saw a muscle in his cheek tic. I’ve got you, I thought, my fingers slipping over the hollow in his throat, as the palm of my other hand slowly descended down his back.

“Dancing with the devil, honey?” he asked, and the endearment was not said as such.

In that moment I realised two things: one - his face might be nice, but his voice, that husky-edged, kiss of Texas drawl, was made for absolute sin - and two, Catfish was a guy I wouldn’t be able to win over as easily as most of the one-brain-cell lackeys here.

“Just getting a taste of what’s to come tonight,” I lied, sweetly.

Catfish snorted. I noticed he’d barely touched his wine. Either he, like me, was here on false pretences, or, even more dangerously, he was one of them, but without the usual vices of women or alcohol to dull the edge of his more unsavoury appetites.

Which one it was, I would find out soon enough.

******

 Part 2: Off the Deep End

Tagging: @emmy-dandiliom918​ @spacegayofficial​ @thirstworldproblemss @cinewhore @poenariuniverse​ @keeper0fthestars​ @scarlettvonsass​ @casually-introverted​ @knittingqueen13​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @10-96dispatcher @buckstaposition​ @agirllovespasta​ @songsformonkeys​  kiizhikehn-cedar

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 Annual 1976

Special thanks to @maxwellelvis for taking most of this one off my hands!

Mon Aug 12 2019 [09:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay. This is that Event I told you about. [09:46 PM] Wack'd: You tell me about a lot of Events [09:48 PM] Wack'd: Man it's weird that the Fantastic Four have a Danger Room [09:48 PM] Aleph Null: yes but you can't fuck this one [09:48 PM] Wack'd: If this were the 80s and 90s when suddenly the X-Men were the next big thing and people were bending over backwards to make the Fantastic Four fit that mold, sure [09:48 PM] Wack'd: Here in the 70s it's just weird [09:49 PM] Wack'd: God this is such a mom joke

[09:50 PM] Wack'd: A running gag that's gone unacknowledged as of late is Ben interrupting Reed before he can finish his technobabble

[09:51 PM] Wack'd: It's always hard to know spur of the moment what's worth pointing out and what isn't, until suddenly you realize that a pattern has been continuing for like six issues and you haven't said anything [09:51 PM] Umbramatic: rip [09:52 PM] Wack'd: Reed didn't you build a robot to fix things for this express purpose?

[09:52 PM] Wack'd: You did, way back in #119! [09:53 PM] Wack'd: Roy Thomas remembers 1962 better than he remembers his own damn issues

[09:54 PM] Wack'd: "Wait a minute! You guys are Nazis!"

[09:55 PM] Umbramatic: KILL THE NAZIS KILL THE NAZIS [09:55 PM] maxwellelvis: *Venture Bros music* [09:56 PM] Wack'd: I don't think you are going to be embarrassed. Not because these guys are Nazis but because beating up Nazi cosplayers is still a good thing to do

[09:57 PM] Wack'd:

Sue: Why are these men still fighting World War II more than three decades after it ended? Johnny: You might as well ask the Late Late Show the same thing, Sue.

[09:57 PM] Wack'd: Johnny confirmed for a big fan of Irish television [09:58 PM] Umbramatic: pffft [09:59 PM] maxwellelvis: I've got my 2-in-1 TPB with me so I can read this along with you. [09:59 PM] Wack'd: AND NOW THE RESOLUTION OF A PLOTHOLE THAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING PEOPLE FOR YEARS [10:00 PM] Wack'd: Yes, Doom did take his time machine back. Reed just copied the blueprints first and then made a new one [10:00 PM] Wack'd: Problem solved [10:00 PM] Umbramatic: oh my [10:01 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Reed is started to learn that the Nazis came from 1946 London. Willing to bet this is something to do with the vibranium that fell in there [10:01 PM] maxwellelvis: You skipped over the part where, when Reed and Sue first start puzzling out how the heck these guys got here, the next page shows Ben just WAILING on one of the troops and yelling at him for making his friends all upset. [10:02 PM] Wack'd: I skip over a lot of things if they insufficiently amuse me or aren't relevant to any particular narrative [10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: "Now see whatcha gone an' done, Otto? You got my ol' buddy here upset an' I ain't even hit ya yet." [10:02 PM] maxwellelvis: I know, but I just found that amusing. [10:04 PM] Wack'd: So the Watcher shows up but is doing his damndest not to interfere after having been put on trial over in Captain Marvel [10:05 PM] Wack'd: *siiiiiigh* Okay, guess we're doin' this

[10:05 PM] Wack'd: I hate "what if the Nazis won" stories that don't account for the historical reality that these guys were kind of dipshits [10:05 PM] Wack'd: I hate them so much [10:05 PM] Wack'd: THEY DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO CONQUER THE UNITED STATES [10:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but these are comic book Nazis, remember that. [10:06 PM] Aleph Null: not now max [10:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Shutting up [10:07 PM] Umbramatic: oh great the one way you could make Cleveland worse [10:07 PM] Wack'd: Thomas knows juuuuuuust enough history to irritate me

[10:07 PM] Aleph Null: LMAO [10:07 PM] Larena: People like to pretend the Nazis were these tactical geniuses but they really fucking weren't [10:09 PM] Wack'd: Seriously Thomas knows the Lee/Kirby lore better than he knows his own

[10:09 PM] Umbramatic: heck [10:09 PM] Wack'd: Also, all the long-range missiles in the world aren't going to change their lack of tactical proficiency, or Ally advantages, or the fact that the ground war was going poorly... [10:10 PM] Wack'd: Whatever, the longer I complain about this the longer this issue lasts [10:10 PM] Wack'd: Watcher, satisfied Reed has cracked this, vanishes, and the Four head off into the past [10:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Smack-dab in the middle of a strategy planning session being overseen by THE INVADERS in London HQ. They're planning a raid of Castle Wolfenstein--sorry, Castle Cherbelle. [10:12 PM] Umbramatic: lel [10:13 PM] Wack'd: Hey Max? I know you're enjoying having the issue on hand but if I have to wait for you to say things it's gonna drag this out and, as mentioned, I'm not super into this one [10:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Sorry [10:13 PM] Wack'd: Anyway yeah, what he said

[10:14 PM] Wack'd: ...actually...do you wanna do this issue for me? And I'll just put relevant images where needed [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Sure. [10:14 PM] Wack'd: Thanks! [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: So the inevitable fight happens. [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Some things of note: [10:14 PM] maxwellelvis: Namor is a hotheaded dick no matter what decade it is [10:14 PM] Wack'd:

[10:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Powerless or no, I feel like Namor calling Ben a Nazi would result in him being ripped limb from limb [10:15 PM] Wack'd: Hint that Ben is Jewish #354

[10:15 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny is rather awestruck to see the Original Human Torch and Toro, and just barely manages to parry their last volley of fireballs [10:16 PM] maxwellelvis: Bucky is useless as always [10:16 PM] maxwellelvis: and Cap almost immediately realizes that the smart thing to do is to break up this little ballroom blitz. [10:16 PM] Wack'd: THE WINTER SOLDIER EVERYONE

[10:17 PM] maxwellelvis: Reed does the same, dousing the Torches and getting everyone to cool off. [10:18 PM] maxwellelvis: So the FF explain who, what, where, when, and why, a French Resistance liaison confirms that something rotten is up in Castle Cherelle, especially that the operation there is being overseen by one Baron Heinrich Zemo. [10:19 PM] Wack'd: ...was this really their catchphrase

[10:19 PM] maxwellelvis: Probably? [10:19 PM] Wack'd: Hehehehe [10:19 PM] Wack'd: What dorks [10:19 PM] maxwellelvis: I've not read much Invaders, but it seems like they're trying to channel the spirit of the All-Winners Squadron [10:20 PM] Wack'd: Every comic book website ever uses it as a headline when there's Invaders news [10:21 PM] maxwellelvis: So, they make it as far as France in one of Namor's airships, but are ambushed by Stukas. Toro is even more hotheaded than Johnny and wants to go out and flash-fry them, but Hammond tells him to stand down, they can't afford to give away their position to Zemo before they even reach the castle. [10:21 PM] Wack'd: This is even dorky or when you consider that the Invaders are an invention of the mid-century war comics scene [10:21 PM] Wack'd: And not a team that ever actually existed in the 40s [10:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, the All-Winners Squadron I think was a thing, not sure if they ever all teamed up though. It might have been before the JSA. [10:22 PM] Wack'd: Oh! Yep [10:22 PM] Umbramatic: oh huh [10:22 PM] Wack'd: Line-up did have Cap, Bucky, Namor, Toro, and Human Torch back in the 40s [10:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Just before the reach the castle, we get a shot of the Watcher's face in the clouds, indicating that yeah, they're on the right path. Bucky gets creeped out by it. Ben just feels even more nervous now. [10:23 PM] Wack'd: The name "Invaders" is a flagrant retcon though, as is the absence of Whizzer, Miss America, Blond Phantom, and Angel [10:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Miss America is elsewhere now. More on that later. [10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, they land mostly undetected, have time for a character bit or two, and split up to cover more ground [10:24 PM] Wack'd: Well hang on! [10:24 PM] Wack'd: Don't gloss over character bits! Love character bits! [10:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [10:25 PM] Wack'd: Oh this is just exposition [10:25 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [10:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Reed realizes that while they're here, he and Ben are also just now signing up and gets goosebumps, which is rare for him. [10:25 PM] maxwellelvis: Namor professes his hatred of stealth tactics, showing yet again why he will be a Good King [10:26 PM] Wack'd: (So long as I'm tracking when the sliding timescale kicks in, the fact that Reed and Ben are still WWII vets is probably worth noting) [10:26 PM] maxwellelvis: Speaking of which, Reed also gets weirded out at teaming up with a younger Namor and scolds himself for playing Jealous Husband [10:26 PM] Wack'd: And Sue is apparently still a bit hot under the collar [10:27 PM] Wack'd: viagra joke

[10:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I can't blame her here. Dude just refuses to age. How DARE he be so good looking for so many decades? [10:27 PM] Wack'd: The Face of Beauty

[10:28 PM] maxwellelvis: The Torches all team up and it's... interesting at least in black and white to see how the pencils and inks try to make three guys with the same power all look distinct. [10:28 PM] Aleph Null: sue was a star trek fan and really liked spock [10:28 PM] Aleph Null: that's what i'm going with [10:28 PM] Wack'd: Historically what happens here [10:28 PM] maxwellelvis: How does it look in color, Wack'd? [10:29 PM] Wack'd: Is that Johnny is stuck with the all-red-with-stripes look, while Jim looks like actual flames are coming off him--in accordance with how he was drawn in the 40s [10:30 PM] maxwellelvis: And Toro has that look even moreso, at least here. [10:30 PM] Wack'd: I'm going to be completely honest, in this issue, I can't tell any of the three apart [10:30 PM] maxwellelvis: So Namor and the Richards' bust up a weapons plant. [10:30 PM] Wack'd: It's all down to dialogue quirks [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: He floods the place in his temper. [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Skipping over that because the NEXT part is fun. [10:31 PM] maxwellelvis: We get to revisit the events that lead up to Cap getting frozen and Bucky's "death" [10:32 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny's turn to get the willies as he realizes who these two guys are and what's going to happen to them, things he can't try to prevent or risk more damage to spacetime [10:34 PM] maxwellelvis: So they bust up central ops, then Cap has a confrontation with Zemo. The shield shatters the tank full of Adhesive X, trapping Zemo in his hood for the rest of his days, though in this retelling, Cap actually tries to help Zemo, who refuses and says that not only can nothing get it off him, but he'd rather die than surrender, or better yet, he'll just kill Cap. [10:35 PM] maxwellelvis: Zemo escapes down a tunnel and though Johnny CAN keep up with him, he simultaneously CAN'T because he has no way of knowing if the escape tunnel is booby-trapped and so he loses Zemo in his hesitation. [10:35 PM] maxwellelvis: Meanwhile, Ben and the other Torches take out the V2 bay. [10:36 PM] Wack'd: Yeah they're really going all in on the 60s look for all the Torches here [10:36 PM] maxwellelvis: One of the missiles gets fired, with Ben on it. Jim and Toro can't keep up, but Ben manages to sabotage the missile in midair and steer it back to the castle and pull a Slim Pickens. [10:37 PM] Wack'd: Just a little scruff of hair on the top to tell them apart

[10:37 PM] maxwellelvis: Which is weird because you wouldn't suspect that from just the lineart [10:37 PM] maxwellelvis: which is what I have. [10:37 PM] Wack'd:

[10:38 PM] maxwellelvis: "I thought I died an' went ta Heaven, but then how come I'm lookin' at YOUR ugly kisser, Stretcho?" They managed to get out in time and save Ben from scattering himself all over France. [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: And assuming that no Vibranium survived the explosion, all is well that ends well. [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: Well... [10:39 PM] Umbramatic: something something dr strangelove [10:39 PM] maxwellelvis: except Uatu is still in the Baxter Building [10:39 PM] Wack'd:

[10:40 PM] maxwellelvis: Ben realizes that, if the Watcher is still here, that means, that not all of the Vibranium was in the castle. Uatu says nothing, but subtly smiles, leading us in to Marvel Two-In-One Annual One [10:41 PM] Bocaj: Dammit Uatu [10:41 PM] Bocaj: And also the Watchers [10:41 PM] Bocaj: Just your presence is interfering [11:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay so, on to part 2 of this story: [11:01 PM] maxwellelvis: MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE ANNUAL #1 [11:03 PM] maxwellelvis: I'll just get the highlights out of the way. [11:04 PM] maxwellelvis: Whizzer. U-Man. Giant flying swastika. There's a guy called The Thin Man. Whizzer. The original Patriot. Ben throws himself off a flag pole. Roy Thomas shamelessly inserts himself into the story. Whizzer. [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: Also there's a superhero called Blue Diamond. For some reason I thought that's funny in 2019.

[thefinalexperiment]

The Final Experiment Chapter 27: Unexpected Catastrophes

Peter Parker x OC

A/N: I just thought I'd mention that in this chapter, instead of relying on good ol' Google translate, I decided just to write sentences that are being said in another language in italics. So that's what that one line means, in case it could come across confusing. Enjoy!

I will no longer be linking things on new part posts due to dumblr and the link censoring, and just to be safe from any potential image post censoring, I will also not be including covers on my stories. All previous parts can be found in my masterlist, in my bio!

Warnings: This part contains a brief description of blood, a monster fight, and imminent danger to the characters

---

        I felt off. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the possibility of finding out what happened in my past. Maybe there was something I had missed. I kept a careful eye out as Nat and I headed back to the jet to meet the others.

        Just then, shouts and shots rang out over the comms. I couldn’t tell who was doing what, but something was out there.

        “Come on!” Natasha called to me, taking off running. We headed towards the place where we had last seen the rest of the team.

        I heard Steve giving orders, and the others responding. The others… except for Bucky. I couldn’t stop myself from calling out to him.

        “Bucky, are you okay?”

        The others said nothing, simply continuing to fight off whatever it was.

        “James!” I shouted. “Answer me!”

        Nothing.

        “Dad, tell me you’re alright!” I begged in Russian, not even noticing my slip.

        “I see him!” Peter said suddenly. “The creature grabbed him, it’s taking him away!”

        “We’ve almost got this thing down,” Tony called, “But you’d better get down here, Barnes, we need those icy hands of yours. Romanoff, go radio ahead for medical. Our Soldier’s not looking too good.”

        It didn’t even register that he had called me Barnes. I wouldn’t notice until long after we got back to the tower. For now, all I cared about was stopping this thing. Nat nodded to me, then took off for the jet. I ran for the room where the others were. When I arrived, the dim emergency lights were flickering on and off, making it difficult to see exactly what we were fighting against. The ceiling had to have been at least 60 feet high, but this creature seemed to more than fill the space, from what I could make out. All I could tell from the violently writhing shadows and flashes of gunfire was that this thing definitely wasn’t human, probably not even from earth, unless it had been created by HYDRA’s scientists. Which, considering my own little parasite pal, I couldn’t discount that as a possibility.

        “Kait!”

        I jumped and raised my gun, but it was just Peter.

        “Whoa, easy there…” he said.

        “Where’s Bucky?” I demanded.

        “That monster thing's got him hidden somewhere, we can’t get him until we can get past it.” He paused to shoot a web, pinning a slimy appendage to the wall just before it could lash out at Sam.

        “I thought Tony said you almost had it?” I asked.

        “We did!” I heard Tony say, firing his repulsors. “But it seems to have gotten a second wind. The thing just won’t die!”

        I nodded resolutely.

        “Okay. Just leave it to me. Peter, can your webs hold part of it still long enough for me to get close?”

        “You got it!” he said, backflipping away to try to draw its attention.

        “Can somebody give me a lift once he’s pinned it?” I asked. Just as I finished speaking, Peter began to web up a long, tentacle-looking thing. What was this, the Kraken?  The Watcher Out of the Water? The thing struggled against Peter’s handiwork, and the threads began to fray and snap.

        “Better hurry up, Kait, I dunno how long I can hold it!”

        “Buckle up, Frosty,” I heard Sam say, “This won’t be an easy ride.”

        I reached my hand out, and Sam grabbed ahold of me. My new gloves (nanotech, courtesy of Tony) were designed not to slip, but I still had an instinct to hang on as tight as I could, just in case.

        “You’re gonna have to toss me,” I called to Sam. The part of the monster that Peter had managed to string up was pretty high up on the wall.

        “What if you miss?”

        “I’m not gonna miss. And you better not either.”

        “If you say so… Here we go!”

        Using the momentum of his wings, Sam zoomed towards the creature’s trapped appendage, then swung me with as much power as he could. As I arced through the air, I let the nanotech on my gloves recede. I grabbed ahold of the weird tentacle thing with my bare hands (ick, by the way), and hung on for dear life, waiting for my killing touch to spread out and take the creature down.

        But nothing happened.

        “Uh, guys? We have a problem here.”

        The creature roared angrily and tore its appendage away from the wall, taking me with it.

        “Kaitlynn, what’s going on?” Tony called.

        I couldn’t exactly answer at the moment.

        “Tony, try to bring the power back on!” Steve ordered.

    ��   “On it, Cap.”

        The monster, evidently tired of me hitching a ride, slammed its tentacle down onto the ground. Luckily, I landed on top of it. It still hurt, but I didn’t get crushed.

        “Kait, are you okay?” Peter asked over the comms.

        “Ow…” I groaned. “I’m alive… but that didn’t work. It was immune to me. Thor, does this thing seem like something from Jotunheim?”

        “If it is, it must have been tampered with by HYDRA,” he replied. “I’ve never seen a creature such as this.”

        “We need a new strategy…” Steve said. “Tony, how are the lights coming?”

        “Hang on, almost there…”

        And just like that, the compound’s room lit up. The creature came into full view. It… well, Watcher in the Water wasn’t a far off comparison. It was sort of like the legend of the Kraken, but mixed with the body of a Jurassic Park-style T-Rex. Man, HYDRA made some weird stuff… It’s skin was pink and raw, like an exposed muscle. Absolutely disgusting. What, were they trying to create the Blob?

        “O…kay… What’s the plan here, Cap?” Clint said.

        Just then, I spotted Bucky, pinned under one of the creature’s tentacles. He was covered in blood… I could only hope he’d be okay.

        “I’m gonna grab Bucky.” A cacophony of voices urged me not to, but I protested, “I can’t just leave him! Let me get him out, then we can evacuate and blow this place. Come on… Steve? Tony?”

        There was a pause, then Tony sighed.

        “Go on, kid. We’ll distract it. Right, Cap?”

        “…Right. Be careful, Kaitlynn. Pietro, now that we have a clear visual, get in there with Kait, try to get her close, and help her get Bucky out. Wanda, clear the way for them. Hulk, Clint, Sam, Thor, Tony, we’ll try to draw its attention. Parker, web up as much of it as you can.”

        Pietro appeared beside me at Steve’s order.

        “Ready?” he asked. I nodded, letting the nanotech on my gloves reform for now.

        “Let’s go.”

        He scooped me up in his arms, and the next thing I knew, we were standing in front of Bucky.

        “We have to get this thing off of him,” I said.

        “It looks like it weighs five tons,” Pietro said, shoving at the tentacle pinning Bucky down. “Wanda, any help?”

        “A little busy here, Piet,” she replied, “Give me a moment.”

        “We don’t have a moment,” I said, watching as the creature turned its attention to us.

        It roared, and lashed out at us with another appendage. With the rest of the team busy holding off the rest of it, Pietro and I couldn’t do anything, and he knew I wouldn’t leave Bucky to be crushed. He wouldn’t either. Pietro grabbed me, and pulled the both of us to crouch beside Bucky, hoping that somehow, we could avoid the creature’s wrath. I threw my hands up, bracing for the impact… but it never came. Instead, the creature groaned in pain.

        “What…?”

        “Uh… Kait?” came Peter’s voice, “When did you learn to do that?”

        Pietro and I looked up. Spikes of ice stuck up from the ground all around, forming a palisade around us. The creature had impaled its tentacle on the sharp icicles that I had apparently summoned. There were even some shards of ice embedded in it like shrapnel, as if I had somehow thrown ice at it. This was definitely new.

        “That’s new,” Pietro said.

        “Yeah…" I said numbly, "It is…”

        The creature screamed angrily and pulled away from us, even moving the tentacle that had been pinning Bucky. Pietro grabbed the both of us and zipped us away, back to the rest of the team.

        “Alright, let’s get out of here, everyone,” Steve said. “Wanda, come on, let’s go!”

        Everyone quickly evacuated. Pietro sped on ahead to hand Bucky over to the arriving medical team. Tony closed the big stone doors behind us, and we all boarded the jet.

        “Alright, we got a team on the way to take this place down,” Nat said. “Fury won’t be happy we’re losing the chance to explore this place, but I think I speak for us all when I say I don’t really care…”

        “We got the flashdrive,” I muttered, slumping into a seat. “That’s what was important…”

        Still, I couldn’t help but think it might have been handy to be able to study a creature that was immune to my icy “death-touch”.

        Backup arrived, and the medics joined us to take care of Bucky. The rest of their air carriers hovered nearby. As our Quinjet took off and began to fly away, they began to fire. The team watched in silence as the base went up like Independence Day. It was pretty satisfying to watch… but in the back of our minds, we were all too focused on whether or not Bucky was going to be okay.

---

A/N: I'll be honest, I have no idea where this came from lol. It just sort of wrote itself. Dun dun dun... drama... Will Bucky be okay? Will the creature actually die in the bombing? What of Kait's new powers? Leave your theories in the comments and tune in next time for (some) answers to these burning questions!

Series Tags: @shamvictoria11 @mla02 @fanficcrapforme @goodbyefornow123 @thebookisbtr @what-inspirational-name

Everything Tags: @coconutknees @hollymac79

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #233

lalala song lyrics i’m about to go home so copy/pasting time.

What subject do you seem to struggle with the most? Various forms of mathematics. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Noooo. I don't have that dedication. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Specifically? Giving someone everything you have physically and emotionally with full force and finding out you weren't enough. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara, probably. What is your favorite genre of movie? Horror, probably. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? Being told I don't have strep throat. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Metal is my favorite genre. I claim a lot as "favorites," but the reigning king will always be Ozzy Osbourne. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. What’s your homeroom? We don't have those in college. If you had to move, where would you move to? Well, my only choice would be to move in with my dad, his wife, and her son. I'm not financially independent. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad. I think. Have you ever read anything written by Shakespeare? I'm not going to include things assigned in schools because everyone had to read like, Beowulf or something similar at some point. I once started to read the full Macbeth (we read a condensed version in school) during a hospital stay, but I didn't finish it. Who’s the cutest person you know? Have you fuckin SEEN Sara when she's excited because- How about the funniest? Girt's funny as fuck. What is your current desktop picture? An adorable meerkat pup looking at the camera al;sdjfal;kjwerads If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I don't know if I'd even want that, but let's just say I was. Maybe... I was gonna say a lioness, because they're high on the food chain, beautiful, and social animals, but yeah I'd prefer to not be poached. Perhaps a house cat. What talent would you like to have? I wish I could draw hyperrealistically. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? I don't make those. What are three songs that mean the most to you? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "The Only Exception" by Paramore, and probably "It's Alright" by Mother Mother. What do you think of your parents? I love them. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? I wish with a snap of my fingers I could just make all litter disappear or something like that. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? ... Wow. I actually thought about it, and the first thing my mind drifted to was "go to Jason's just to see he's okay," and I don't like that. We pass his house every day to go to school and come back, and I think it's only natural that I get curious, particularly when his car is there, but I don't want to care. How much cash do you have on you right now? Just a few dollars from Mom to get something from the snack or drink machine from school if I need to. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? Move on. Let go of people. Forgive. How do you measure intelligence? I dunno, how do you? Define the *type* of intelligence. What cartoons do you watch? None actively. Have you ever used drugs? Not illicit ones. Are you into tattoos? *blinks* Do you like photography? I fucking read this as "pornography" first aslkjweoaider. But yeah, I love love love photography. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? The only celebrity I think I've ever seen is Alice Cooper, and it was at a concert. What person in history do you admire most? I don't know enough about any historical figure to really answer this with passion. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? I don't know considering I'm not that daring. Probably a kiss momentarily going too far or something. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Whale sharks lmao. But pregnancy is the biggie. Well, maybe most are to a mild degree at least, idk. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Yeah. Who do you look up to for your style? I don't look up to a certain person. If you were to invent something, what would it be? I don't know off the top of my head and I don't feel like sitting here- OH NO WAIT! Remember that one year deviantART's April Fools prank was that it produced some sort of technology where you could visualize a drawing, and by scanning your finger or some weird shit while you envisioned it, it could produce it on the screen? Yeah, something like that. I'd pay big bucks for something that could put my ideas on paper. Who would you like to get to know better? One of my RP partners that I've known since childhood. She's just extremely private online. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Pork fried rice is my jam. In your opinion, what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? Greed, probably. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Getting over Jason. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Meat. Not for lack of motivation, but health needs. What was the last rumor that you heard? I don't know. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I'm not interested in meeting any. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Overdose. What is the meaning of life? I don't pretend to know anymore. I think everyone gives their life its own meaning based on values, goals, beliefs, etc. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? That's hard, man. Depends on the kind, I guess. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? White Chicks never fails to get me. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? My dad about to molest me. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Merry-go-rounds lmao. Who are your musical influences? This seems like a question for an aspiring musician, which I'm not. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don't know if anyone's ever tried one on me. How many drinks can you handle? I wouldn't really know as I've never reached the point of being drunk, but seemingly quite a few. Weak ones, anyway. If it has a high alcohol concentration, I'm not drinking that shit. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Idk, most of the afternoon or evening. I think one occasion with an old best friend went past five hours. Do you know where you want to go to college? I'm happy at my current college. They care a lot about their students. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Permit, fuck no. School ID, it's alright. What fruit did you last eat? An apple. Aside from yourself, who was the last person to see you naked? My mom. How many classes are you taking? Four, currently. Jumping up to six next semester... though not really by choice. My adviser wants me to have like a safety net by having two classes I CAN drop if I need to, but she's realistic in pointing out that the school path I visualize doable for me will be a VERY slow one and ultimately cost so, so much more money, so she wants to nudge me along as best she can while keeping my limitations in mind. I'm definitely going to try the best I can to do this in four years, but yeah... unlikely. But that's okay to me, so long I get there in not TOO long of a time. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? I don't think so... but I do recall when my older sister was tiny she flushed a little toy truck down the toilet. We had to get a plumber to save it lmao. I think my mom has kept the truck. Are you someone’s best friend? One of hers. Do you have any goldfishes? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? I absolutely hate my sister's dog that for whatever fucking reason lives with Mom and me. Why we keep a dog that does nothing but annoy us and piss us off is a subject of more than frequent arguing. When was the last time you saw hail? I don't know, a long time ago. What color eyes do you prefer: Green or Brown? Green. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Oh yeah. Of my living ones, I call Venus "Miss Venus" and "pretty girl" a whole lot, while Teddy has a whole lot, but mostly "booga," "bub(by)," "boogie," and "Teddy-boo." I just call Roman "butt" a lot, lmao. I don't really have a common one for Mitsu, but I sometimes use "baby girl," I think. Ever been on a boat before? Like, fishing boats. Which is better: Skiing or Snowboarding? I wouldn't know, never tried either. Can you change the oil on a car? I have no clue how. Ever ran out of gas? Not while I myself was driving. I don't even know if I've ever been in the car while that's happened. Favorite kind of sandwich? Most of the time just an 'ole pb&j. Best thing to eat for breakfast? mmmmmmm cinnamon rolls are the GOOD SHIT. Are you horny? Nah. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Lincoln logs or GET OUT. Are you stubborn? Yeah, most of the time. Are you afraid of heights? YEAH. Ever used a gun? Nooooo and I don't want to. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Idk if the guy who did my school ID card was an actual photographer? I dunno? Ever eat a pierogi? I hate those goddamn pockets of disgust. Favorite type of fruit pie? I dun like pie. I used to be okay with apple, though. Do you believe in ghosts? 110%. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- (I'm only semi-kidding btw idk I kinda believe it) Why do you think others get deja-vu? Because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- Take a vitamin daily? No. I need to, though. Wear a bath robe? No, I get dressed right after the shower. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and a tank top. First concert? Alice Cooper. Outside. During a thunderstorm. Shit was badass. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Both are ew. I can handle a little bit of peanut better, though. Ever take dance lessons? I grew up taking a lot through middle school and some of high school. I tooook... clogging (I was embarrassingly good at that omg), jazz, modern (my fave), lyrical very briefly 'cuz I am NOT graceful, and hip hop. I always hated the music, but the dancing itself is fun. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No. They can do whatever they aspire to. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Own any record albums? Not anymore, Mom sold them. I wish I had them now, ahhhh. I love 'em. Own a record player? No. Who would you like to see in concert? I am seeing Ozzy next year or I will fucking riot, Metallica, and Rammstein. Many others would be cool, but those are the biggies. I'd love to see Manson and Otep, but their shows are... yeah. They do gross and/or really disrespectful shit. Hot tea or cold tea? THERE ARE SO MANY TEA OR COFFEE QUESTIONS IN SURVEYS but they tend to be different so I just keep them in alsdjf;awe. The usual: I hate tea. Can you swim well? I guess I swim fine? DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ. I want a variety of music. Ever won a contest? A few, don't feel like trying to remember 'em. Ever have plastic surgery? No. Which are better black or green olives? Olives are fucking gross. Best room for a fireplace? Living room. Who was your high school crush? My first was either Sebastian or Kyle. Or Girt. Then Juan, though that crush was questionable if it was serious or not. He really flattered me a lot, but I've told the story before plenty. Idk if the emotion was romantically reciprocated, though honestly I think it was mostly because of his reputation? I only knew him as extremely sweet. BUT ANYWAY, after that, do I even need to say "Jason?" When he came along, whether or not I really liked Juan was totally forgotten. What do you believe happens to us after death? Hell if I know. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. Does the thought of growing old frighten you? More like the thought of my body deteriorating does. Have you ever hurt someone for your own entertainment? um the fuck. I've done it out of heartbreak and pain, but never for my entertainment. What is your favorite song of all time? Of all time, probably "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Has anyone you’ve known died on a holiday? Possibly, idk. If you could write a book, what would it be about? Sometimes I wish I could make a series out of the meerkat RP I engage in, but I don't have the motivation or dedication for that. And I wouldn't be comfortable revising our "tribute" characters for the sake of legality and just respect in general. What are some lyrics that speak to your soul? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. I'm not exactly small for a human ha ha, but in the scope of the universe perspective, we're all less than microscopic. Have you ever been in love with more than one person at the same time? Not in love, not. Attracted to, yeah. What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to you? I remember, though it's a tad blurry, the occasion I was having a serious "grieving session" for Jason at Colleen's house, and her sister was there alone with me. She was talking me through it and grabbed my shoulders at one point, looked me dead in the eye, and told me so firmly yet gently how beautiful a person I was and that I deserved the world and more. I won't forget that, like ever. Do you have any taboo fetishes or preferences? No. What is the thing you are most ashamed of? I've talked about this enough. Well, that or just being a general "this is all your goddamn fault and I am the only victim here" cunt to Jason following the breakup. Actually, yeah, I'm probably more ashamed of that. What is the emotion you seem to feel most strongly? Hm. Embarrassment? Heartbreak? Love? Idk. Do you think of yourself as a unique person? Yeah, honestly. I mean not incredibly, but unique, yeah. What is a movie from childhood that you loved? I've talked about TLK and Finding Nemo and that kinda stuff a lot, so here's a STUPIDLY underrated one: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron. That movie is fuckin beautiful wtf. Are you afraid of death? Aren't we all at least to a small degree? What are your top three biggest fears, actually? Losing my mom, being raped, and all those I love just abandoning me. Do you have an accent of any kind? You can detect a Southern one sometimes. What do you want to be remembered for? Sending a message of love, especially to animals. Are you currently sad about anything? I am literally permanently sad about my weight, though it's not like, an *active* sadness at this very moment? Have you ever changed your spiritual beliefs? Three times now. Catholic to Christian to theist. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? MARGARITAS gotDAMN Do you ever talk to yourself? Sure. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep in your adult life? Oh yeah. What do you think is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? "Thanks for sending me to the ER again." Fucking bitch. Do you have a favorite book? If so, how many times have you read it? Johnny Got His Gun and The Outsiders. Only read both once. I almost never read a book more than that. Have you ever wished you were from another country? Half the time, especially as an adult, I wish I lived in Canada. What are you thinking about currently? My throat is absolutely killing me and I'm ready to leave school. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable to speak about? I'm more uncomfortable talking about sex than I used to think. Do you have anything you are extremely particular about? When I'm in the passenger seat controlling the music? Oh my god, Mom, DON'T turn the volume down manually. I can do that on my iPod myself, but can only turn it back UP but so loud as it gets lower by the car itself. She knows I turn it down when we're talking, she is, or we slow down, but she does it anyway sometimes and I get unreasonably annoyed by it. Have you ever seen the ocean? Only the Atlantic. What is your most fond memory of your current S.O, if applicable? THE FIRST KISS Y'ALL it was fuckin CHEESY but I LOVE IT Do you find yourself confused often? Oh hell yeah. What was the best time of your life? It's so funny to me how I can answer "2017," the very same year I OD'd. That's rapid growth, my friend. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Do you miss any of your exes? I only miss the memories of him. Are you religious? I mean I believe in some ultimate creator, but I don't really like calling myself "religious" anymore. I don't worship it, I don't pray to it. I'm thankful to exist, but that's. It, I guess. ANY entity I would respect wouldn't demand me to kiss its feet. Do you think you are attractive? HELL NO. How many people have you slept with? Do you mean like, as in having sex? One. Slightly fooled around with, two, including the previously-mentioned guy. Do you consider yourself a catch? Besides my looks, I do think I'm a good girlfriend. What kind of sauce do you eat your chicken nuggets with? Honey mustard, actual mustard... that kinda stuff. What do you think you could do to improve your life? Get a goddamn job, I'm just really not capable right now. What song is playing right now? "Hag" by Otep. What is your LJ name? I don't have a LiveJournal. I don't even want to EXIST on the same site with a particular fat-headed, bigoted fuck of a bitch. Holy shit I've nearly made an account multiple times JUST to talk that cunt back to Earth. What was the most recent movie you watched? UHHHHHHHH I don't remember actually. How many times have you got stitches? UHHHH twice or thrice? What are your pets’ species and names? I'm excluding the dog I hate because he's not even "mine." Teddy is a beagle/cocker spaniel/probably something else mix. Roman is a cat mix; he seems to have Siamese or something similar in 'im. Mitsu is a fancy rat. Venus is a champagne ball python. What is your most recent musical crush? Mark is a fucking singer, DON'T EVEN @ ME ABOUT IT. Which is better; immense heat or extreme coldness? God, the latter. I literally can't handle like anything above 70 for even like 10 minutes. It's not just that I find heat uncomfortable, but I sweat to a disgusting degree and get extremely weak, dizzy, and sometimes nauseous. Do you have a disease? Just mental ones. I have at least one physical disorder, but not a disease. Do you like gore? BITCH yes. Especially in art. It's the smell irl I can't really handle, as well as seeing like, human gore, but also exclusively in the real world. It feels too personal and close to home, y'know? Do you stutter? YEP. Name a cool person you have lost touch with? Megan, particularly. Who was the friendliest person you have met on the internet? MAN, I don't know if I could pick!! Maybe uhhhh... Megan again? She was nice to like... everyone. Or Connie for the same reason, and she's also chill as hell. I really don't know, I've met a load of great people. Name a song that is overplayed. I don't listen to the radio, so. What websites do you visit frequently? Kalahari Manor, deviantART, YouTube, Facebook, the Silent Hill wiki to make sure it's not exploding from mental cases again to not make it to fucking video game and horror sites/blogs again, and especially lately, Tumblr. There's more, but those are the regularly frequent ones. Does counting sheep help you fall asleep? Never tried. What is the biggest mystery? Where the universe came from and why.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X05 - Good Form

I remember loving this episode, but it will be GOOD to FORMulate an opinion on it once and for all!

...Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week!

But really, this episode has a ton going on from character work to backstories to points made about toxic masculinity. And if you want to hear more about all that, go right under that cut!

Press Release

With the deadly Dreamshade coursing through David’s body and close to death, Hook takes him on one last journey to find a sextant that could help them decipher a map that would lead them off Neverland. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Killian Jones - aka Hook - and his brother, Captain Liam, sail off under orders of the King to find a powerful indigenous plant on an uncharted land that could help heal any injury.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

The story in the past segment is incredibly simple, but as I’ve said before, simple is good. It’s the finer details of the story that come together and turn it from serviceable to truly great and fortunately, this episode has that in spades.

”If this is a poison, it won’t just end a war, it will obliterate an entire race.” I do like that throughout this story, the villainy is kept with those that truly deserve it: The King and Pan. It would’ve been easy to villainize Liam for not listening to Killian and overestimating his own abilities against Pan, but the writers understood that he just made a mistake. He wasn’t a bad person, but made a bad decision and didn’t deserve his death (I mean, he probably deserved some type of bad death because of what happened with his last crew, but that episode wasn’t written yet). Liam’s death is framed correctly as a tragedy and something that a young man would do, especially when exposed to the “magic” of Useless Machismo Island (My new name for Neverland because holy fuck, there’s so much freakin’ machismo).

I love how literally all of Killian’s men stay by his side. It’s an amazing show of Killian’s leadership abilities, as he displays qualities like charisma and passion in ways that people listen to. It also shows a lot about Liam. Liam may have screwed over the last crew he worked with, but he definitely cared for his own.

Killian’s ending speech works so well. Throughout the entire flashback, it really looked to me like ending of Killian becoming a pirate for noble reasons and “good form” was going to lack the character consistency between the Killian we see at the end of the flashback and the suave sort of jerkass we see in “The Crocodile” and “Devil’s Due.” And that was nagging me throughout the segment as I watched it (As I’ve mentioned before, my Season 3 memories are not that hot apart from some select scenes and the broad strokes of the stories and arcs). But Killian’s speech does a great job of showing his hotheadedness. It’s not just enough to fuck over the king. Killian is taking his rage over Liam’s death on the whole realm, or at least the lands ruled by that same monarchy. I’m so glad that this was included because it reasserts Killian’s character that he has going forward -- noble, hotheaded, dramatic, and a leader.

Present

”You’re not here out of any nobility. You’re here for Emma.” I like how the theme of this segment is somewhat disproving this. By that, I mean that while Killian’s motivation for helping IS ultimately Emma, we see the form that his helping takes shape and it is in fact one of nobility (I know this gets a smidgen into shipping and I usually save that for the bottom and it is mostly there, but just indulge me here because I’ve thought on this for a while). Killian’s efforts, as he believes, will not help his chances with Emma. As far as he knows, David, if kept alive, will continue to keep pushing them apart. This is evidenced by Killian’s clear surprise when David gives him the credit and subsequent toast following their return to the campsite. He helps David for her, but so that she will have a father and a better shot at her son, not so that he will have a better shot at her.

The narrative makes a good point of differentiating Pan and Killian from each other. Unlike Pan who spoke in riddles while mentioning the effects of the Dreamshade, Killian was specific. Before giving David the water, he explicitly laid out the consequences of drinking it, demonstrating actual honor.

I also like how David points out that a lot of their current situation is in fact the result of Killian’s assholery. It allows for David to be granted more nuance then “I don’t like you because you’re a pirate” since it’s honestly been a while since these events occurred. Like, I remember it, but the current story trajectory has made some of Season 2’s events somewhat distant and bringing that back up is appreciated. Without that, this segment would’ve felt way too on Killian’s side but because it’s here, David’s distrust of Killian is not as frustrating for the viewer to sit through.

I am so glad that Emma sides with Regina over whether to remove the Lost Boy’s heart or not and it is framed as an ultimate positive. It falls in line with her rage and dismisses Snow’s shitty ass platitudes. All of the frustration that’s been building in Regina has been building in Emma too and she’s not about to let a tangible means of results in getting at the very least a message out to Henry go away. And it is honestly so worth it. The mirror call is beautiful and energetic and the smiles that the scene leaves off on after the it’s completed is one of the most satisfying moments in the entire arc. When people talk about how dark magic can be used for good, this is one of the better examples of this.

All Encompassing

I know that this is probably one hell of a stretch, but I can’t help but feel like this episode as a whole is taking a sledgehammer to toxic masculinity. Men (David and Liam) not listening to other men (Killian and Pan) is what puts them in their shitty situations but clear communication (Killian being upfront about the water and Liam telling Killian his plans for the king) are resolutions. Neverland really is a land of toxic masculinity. In addition to so many men not listening to each other, we see with the Lost Boys that they have no problems getting violent with each other, using each other, and not apologizing for it afterwards, with Henry acting as a contrast for their behavior because of how he was brought up in Storybrooke.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-Opening shots in this series that start with the moon are incredible!

-”Not bad.” My thoughts exactly! Neal did a good job with those wooden swords!

-”Don’t you know the best thing about being a Lost Boy? You never apologize.” Then you guys are just flat out rude! Fucking toxic masculinity. Neverland SERIOUSLY needs to rename itself Useless Machismo Island.

-”I also know what it’s like to lose hope.” Okay look, the way this line was delivered really didn’t work for me. For one thing, it IS wasting time and Killian is usually not one to do that. For another, I didn’t like him stepping in her way. Look, you know I love CS and I’ll be having fun down below by the end of the episode, but that didn’t do it and part of this rewatch is emotional honesty. Part of me thinks that that works because Killian’s almost manufactured attempt to bond fails whereas the more natural one at the end of the episode succeeds, but I still didn’t like the moment as a whole.

-Damn, I love shots of the Jolly Roger that show off its impressive length (Innuendo somewhat intended). It really is a magnificent beast of a ship. And listen to the score in the background. The brass section beautifully plays this triumphant sea-themed melody!

-Wow! I think this is the most crewmates in terms of numbers that we’ve ever seen on The Jolly Roger! I don’t know if they just wanted a lot of navy men/pirates for this episode or because they wanted to show the dangers of being a pirate. I counted during Killian’s ending speech and there were at least 15 guys there!

-”And drunkenness leads to bad form.” This line is great because we see Killian trying so hard to be good (To an almost comedic and cartoony degree for me personally) and is especially made more effective because of our insight into Killian’s adolescence as a slave.

-Anyone notice the extra-as-fuck drop of the rum bottle into the harbor? XD

-”My little brother.” “Perhaps you mean younger brother.” Okay, I LOVE this line in canon, but the fandom has utterly RUINED it for me through its sheer OVERUSE in fanworks. I can’t read a single Brothers Jones or CS fic featuring Liam and NOT see this exchange. It’s not like there aren’t other overused quotes I see, but just that one seriously needs a rotation. *Ahem* Pardon the tangent.

-”A Hero’s journey.” I’m just picturing Killian thinking about how he and Liam started off at the bottom of the world and are now so close to heroes.

-”You’re never gonna get her. I’ll see to that.” David, Emma is a grown woman. Fuck off with the machismo!

-Okay, Killian is my favorite character at this moment purely because he is not having ANY of the machismo bullshit David keeps throwing his way. He’s playing caretaker and nurse proudly!

-I like how literally EVERYONE on that ship besides the lieutenant knew what the fuck the Pegasus was. Like literally EVERYONE! The fuck?

-Damn, when you look at the Roger from the bottom, it’s even bigger. No wonder it’s a pirate ship! It’s got such a big booty!

-There’s something so awe-inducing about a pirate (Or navy, at the time) ship soaring through the sky and I’m so glad that this comes back during “Save Henry.” The contrast of the clouds and the ship is so whimsical and childlike and wonderful because of that.

-Can you even see stars during the day, even with a sextant?

-”Tell him grandpa loves him.” You should probably specify which one, David. After all, “you can have more than one [grandfather].”

-*Watches Daddy Charming hug* I’ve read it before, but Josh Dallas is in fact, dad shaped.

-*Watches that Lost Boy hunt a pig and then remembers how that went in “Lord of the Flies”* Thank you, Snow!

-”Henry did [Nicked the kid’s cheek].” I love how the second he says that, Emma and Regina go into this “What the FUCK did Pan do to our little boy?” mode.

-”At least you got to say goodbye. Most people don’t get that much.” Damn, that line is powerful with hindsight. Even David drops his machismo because he knows something is up.

-”He was a thief and a liar.” To be fair, David, at the moment, you’re the one lying. I normally don’t subscribe to the “heroes are hypocrites” mentality, but this is a rare hiccup in that.

-*Killian steps up in the present and down in the past* Have I ever mentioned how much I love the segues on this show? Well...here’s another great one. See also: Unconscious bodies segue!

-Wow. The first daytime shots of Neverland are so breathtaking. The way the sun shines through the clouds and the jungle/mountains lurk in the distance is stunning! And the beach is just flawless! Fantastic camera work!

-Killian, I love you, but you just can’t rock the ponytail, bro. Short hair is your friend.

-You know, something I realize: Killian’s pretty freakin great at reading people! He can immediately tell that Pan isn’t full of shit in the past.

-I like how Killian puts up no rebellion at the idea of talking to Pan. Even though they’re on opposing sides, he knows Pan can kill them all with the snap of a finger and he’s not about to risk that.

-”Emma would never leave her son.” “She did once before.” FUCK. YOU. PAN.

-”Have a drink. You know it always helps you think.” Pan is just savage af in this episode. He’s pulling no punches!

-Liam, no! Don’t succumb to the machismo! Not like this!

-I’m not sure about how I feel about Emma tipping so close to the edge of strangling a Lost Boy, but this “What the FUCK did Pan do to Henry?”-induced rage is really well acted!

-Fuck yeah, Regina!!! Mirror magic used for good! *High fives*

-I would hardly call that goading, Pan!

-Operation Cobra Rescue. I liked the innocence of Operation Henry because Regina made it, but I like that Emma has her own name for it too.

-Killian really rocks that face mask. Someone make a sexy dark doctor/serial killer Killian fic, a’ight?

-”That you were stubborn, yes. I gathered that rather quickly.” I LOVE the Captain Charming banter here.

-I love Killian’s smile. So much. And his little wink.

-Mama Swan’s got some convictions when it comes to Henry!

-Damn, the ladies were ready for one hell of a fight before David and Killian showed up! Just look at those battle poses!

-That little nod Killian gives David after David tells everyone “what happened.” Awww! THE BROMANCE IS ALIVE! CAPTAIN CHARMING IS ALIVE!

-”Mates.” Emma, you are too fucking adorable.

-I love how immediately following the kiss, Emma has a plan developed to stop them from getting questioned by everyone! Smart as a whip!

-Killian! I know Neverland sucked, but a flying ship is never a bad thing!

-I love that Killian gets hyper defensive when Pan mentions Neal’s name. Like “don’t mention his name, you little shit!”

-I don’t know whether to praise this final scene for being a great fake out of Killian potentially abandoning the goodwill he built up or annoyed because once again, this ending means nothing. It’s literally just exposition. That said, I like the expedience, so I’m willing to forgive it.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - We finally get a message out to Henry!

Henry Not Believing in His Family - This storyline frankly sucked and I am so glad it’s over. Henry’s belief in his family and the question of whether or not it would hold (Besides having an obvious answer) was in no way engaging. The circumstances that brought on any possibilities of him not believing in his family were contrived and hardly related to his character. Additionally, the writing for it as a whole was inconsistent. One scene has Henry towing the line of losing faith in his family and the next has his steadfast. One scene has him fighting or dancing and having a good time and the next has him apologizing and being a pacifist. This isn’t character complexity. It’s weak character writing. I know I didn’t bring up this segment before, tough that’s only because it’s so freakin’ short and yet it’s given this huge amount of emphasis. Watching it again, I can’t fathom why the time wasn’t spent focused on Henry and Wendy meeting and becoming friends with Pan pulling the strings on both sides, like we get soon afterwards. That would’ve been much more focused and served as an effective story that played into Henry wanting to be a hero and showed more of Pan being an evil bastard. Hell, there could even be a connection made between Neal and Henry because of Neal’s friendship with Wendy. It actually baffles me. Did they just not have Wendy available for the first six or seven episodes? Did they not want to pay the actress?

Killian’s Redemption - Killian takes his first big step forward into redemption here. He risks his life to help a man who dislikes him. It feels like a very good build up that’s been happening with him since the Season 2 finale. Also, ”You’re good at surviving.” I like how Killian takes this concept that Pan presents to him and thoroughly flips it throughout the rest of the series.

Regina’s Redemption - This is a relatively smaller instance, but it means so much. At the end of the call with Henry, Regina says “We love you.” Call it a hunch, but just a season back and she would’ve said “I” and not “We.” And Emma actually returns that, calling Henry “our” son in their next scene. That’s a far cry from the “my son” arguments of Seasons 1 and 2 and it fits perfectly.

Favorite Dynamic

David and Killian. David and Killian’s bonding feels very natural to me and as that’s the heart of the episode, it was one of the two most important things that they get right. And thankfully, they did! Killian is put into a position where he’s in the right, but it is made clear why the respect that comes with that needs to be earned. Killian and David works together to do what they each think is their own greater good in their own way creates this really engaging friction that is fun to watch. Their banter has a good rhythm to it and can be funny at times, particularly when they’re talking about their brothers.

Writer

Christine Boylan and Daniel Thomsen take their first whacks at Season 3, and it’s really good! Like many of the best OUAT episodes, the past and present segments act as a bit of a mirror in regards to the broad strokes of the story. It’s not super subtle or anything, but what it is is concise. Additionally, the dialogue was great, with only Snow having lines that are intentionally trite. Everything else feels natural for the individual characters.

Rating

Golden Apple. What a wonderful episode! It really is. Just like “Nasty Habits,” the story and character work is incredibly tight. The nuance of who Killian is and was gets delved into and challenged, doing a great job of fleshing the character out. Additionally, for an episode that did little to further the story of saving Henry in the grand scheme of things, it did an incredible job in not making that feel like that was the situation with its character progression and a good ending to an arc that didn’t deserve such dignity.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - While not off to the strongest start IMHO, this episode’s CS goodness grows fast! First, while David attempts to ward off Killian from his attempts at courtship, Killian remarks that she’s a grown woman who can take care of herself. Second, even though it was a lie to keep the truth about David’s condition at bay, Killian is very genuine about his concerns over Henry’s mental state. Third, Killian IMMEDIATELY responds to Pan’s offer to let he and Emma escape the island by pointing out that Emma would never leave Henry. Fourth, Emma actually stays behind to chat up Killian after the rest of the group has gone their separate ways and I was grinning like an utter buffoon here! Fifth, Emma makes the mood playful with the “mates” line. Sixth, THE KISS! Killian looks blown away by it, the frozen state of his hand showing how unexpected it was! But when he catches up, BOY does he catch up! And Emma’s so passionate with it too! Not only does she initiate it, but just like her father with her mother, her lips are like a heat-seeking missile of love! It’s incredible!!! And that kiss LASTS for a good few seconds! It gets a wonderful score to it! They almost look like they’ll continue it! Even when it ends, they’re both fuckstruck by it. The feelings consume them!

Snowing - If you’ve ever needed to be convinced of Snow and David’s love (And you very likely haven’t), look no further than the way David kisses and talks to his wife in this episode. Knowing that he’s gonna die, he leaves as much on the table with her as possible, kissing her forehead as well as lips AND telling her he loves her. And when he recovers, David’s lips are like fucking heat-seeking missiles, going right for his wife’s lips and putting EVERYTHING into that kiss. AND the one afterwards! It’s romantic and sexy as hell!

-----

Thank you for reading this and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales! Just one more day before NJ OUAT CON! Woo-hoo!!! I’m going to try to get the last review for the week (“Ariel”) out tomorrow (Or queue it up for Friday), but if not, you’ll get FOUR reviews next week!

Damn, I’m seeing Gil (Prince Eric) soon. I can’t wait to be...part of his world.

Season 3 Total (39/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60) Kalinda Vazquez (10/40) Andrew Chambliss (10/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (10/40) Robert Hull (10/40) Christine Boylan (10/20) Daniel Thomsen (10/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[aion-rsa]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 5 Shows That John Walker Isn’t Shield-Worthy

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This Falcon and the Winter Soldier review contains spoilers.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 5

When we last left our patriotic heroes, Captain America’s replacement, John Walker, had just publicly chopped a man to death with his shield. Between this and the way Mysterio edited footage to make Spider-Man look like a mass murderer, it’s a really bad time for Avengers replacements. There’s probably footage of Valkyrie biting someone’s face off to fulfill the trifecta.

Recently, Marvel released a trailer to hype up the last two episodes, and the long-awaited fight between our titular protagonists and the unhinged Walker came off as some kind of climactic final battle. Instead, as a curve ball, that’s exactly where the penultimate episode begins. Before there can be any international fallout over Captain America publicly slaughtering a defeated enemy in front of dozens of recording cell phones, Falcon and Bucky track Walker down and insist he hand over the shield or else.

Much like the first episode, “Truth” starts strong with a major action sequence, and then takes it easy for the rest of the episode. Granted, the 2-on-1 slugfest has far more weight to it than Falcon taking on Batroc in the skies because, by this point, we care more about everyone involved. We also care more for what’s next and where the story will take this trio.

Walker himself is fascinating throughout the episode. He refuses to accept any responsibility for his actions and only points fingers at others. To give the devil his due, there is some truth in his anger. It’s easy to be pissed at Falcon for refusing to cooperate and work together when Walker tried to make peace with him early on, even if it means dismissing Falcon’s issues with the situation.

The panel of old government guys dressing Walker down for his actions is the best representation of how cold, cruel, and emotionless the United States government can be, personifying the decisions to turn Isaiah Bradley’s life into a nightmare or betray Sam Wilson’s trust. When Walker calls them out for creating him – a man who played by their rules and did what they wanted until it didn’t suit them anymore – it’s understandable. He’s just the latest in a line of Captain Americas who have grown disillusioned with their handlers.

But he’s still not the good guy here. Part of his refusal to let things go is that Walker catches himself lying. He spends so much time claiming his victim was responsible for Battlestar’s death and that killing him was the right thing to do. Then why can’t he move on? Because he comes to realize it’s bullshit. The actual killer is out there and until Karli pays, his mission is unfinished.

Read more

TV

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s Big Episode 5 Cameo Sets up the Future of the MCU

By Kirsten Howard

TV

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 4: Marvel and MCU Easter Eggs Guide

By Kirsten Howard and 3 others

Karli and the Flag-Smashers take a breather in this episode, allowing various plots to roll on while they plot for later. That’s part of what truly makes “Truth” feel so weird. Even though there is one more episode after this, “Truth” feels like the season finale for a show that’s getting at least one more season. There’s an overall feeling of quiet resolution that spreads through all of this, and most of the dangers feel like something that will be dealt with down the line.

Sam and Bucky work through their beef. Sam has a less tense meeting with Bradley. Zemo’s role in the story reaches a satisfying conclusion. The down-to-earth subplot about the Wilson family and their boat reaches a resolution that works well enough. Yes, Walker is still a ticking time bomb, the Flag-Smashers are licking their wounds, and Sharon Carter is…well, who knows, but we’re seeing the catharsis of Sam accepting his destiny. The looming terrors are merely looming.

Even the episode’s big cameo is reminiscent of one of the MCU’s most iconic post-credits scenes. That it happens so early in this episode just makes everything feel so out of whack.

This all just makes me look forward to next week’s episode more. There’s a lot left in the air and we’ll see it all come to a head in the finale. But we got through so much of the non-action stuff this time around that the finale not only shouldn’t feel overstuffed but will probably allow for a lot more action.

Anyway, the real MVP of this episode is Anthony Mackie’s face whenever Bucky was in any way polite to Sarah Wilson. Good God, that said it all.

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The post The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 5 Shows That John Walker Isn’t Shield-Worthy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[junker-town]

Joe Mixon is the best RB in the 2017 NFL draft. That’s ... awkward, to say the least

Ranking 24 top RB prospects, based on their college and combine numbers.

Last year around draft time, I used fancy stats and combine numbers to tell you that Ezekiel Elliott was a pretty good running back. Pretty brilliant, right? Who could have known that without numbers.

To be fair, those numbers said more difficult things. They said third-rounder C.J. Prosise could be a steal and that fifth-rounder DeAndre Washington might be a massive steal. They said fourth-rounder Kenneth Dixon might be versatile enough to play an early role, that second-rounder Derrick Henry would be efficient but little else, and that fourth-rounder Devontae Booker probably wasn't going to be ready to produce.

A quick glance at Football Outsiders' 2016 NFL running back stats backs up most of those assertions. High fives all around.

So let’s see what the same stats and charts tell us about 2017’s crop of rookie backs.

We’ll start by referring to Dan Kadar’s most recent list of draft running back prospects. Here’s some 2016 data for each, along with a couple of measures from the NFL Combine. Green is good; red means that player compares poorly with the rest of this class.

% of carries: Player’s share of team’s rushing attempts. Opp Rate: % of player’s carries exceeding 5 yards. Hlt/ Opp: Yards over 5 for each 5-yard-plus carry. Target: Pass intended for this player.

What does this tell us? For starters, it tells us that there are exciting backs in this draft, players who produced solid efficiency numbers with upper-level explosiveness. Many also excelled in the passing game.

Let’s start distinguishing them.

On the field, Joe Mixon is the best back in the draft.

I think any of Kadar’s top five backs are exciting players. Aside from a slightly substandard catch rate, for instance, Florida State’s Dalvin Cook was in the green in every other category. He is a workhorse with upper-level explosiveness. There are excellent things to say about Leonard Fournette, Christian McCaffrey, Alvin Kamara, and Curtis Samuel, as well.

One player topped Cook in almost every category above, however: Oklahoma’s Joe Mixon. Because of the presence of Samaje Perine in the backfield, Mixon didn’t have to carry as much of a load as Cook. But his efficiency (opportunity rate), explosiveness (highlight yards per opportunity) and receiving numbers were all at least slightly superior, and he benched only one fewer rep than the stockier Cook.

Let’s compare Mixon to last year’s top running back prospect, Ezekiel Elliott.

Here’s Elliott’s 2016 draft radar.

And here’s Mixon’s.

Mixon was not quite as efficient, but was far more explosive and more dangerous in the passing game. This isn’t to say Mixon is automatically a better prospect, but the simple fact that he compares well is an exciting sign.

Mixon is a potentially incredible back. We don’t know that he can be a true workhorse, because he hasn’t been asked to be one. But he has checked every box he has had an opportunity to check.

Of course, Mixon comes with one enormous red flag, and we know it well by this point.

Since he punched a woman in the face so hard that she had to have eight hours’ worth of reconstructive surgery, he hasn’t had any incidents worse than yelling at a parking attendant. But he punched a woman in the face so hard that she had to have eight hours’ worth of reconstructive surgery.

And it was caught on camera. And he was shielded from media for almost two years afterward, which had the effect of reviving the incident over and over with no resolution.

“Without the incident, he’s a top-five pick,” as one NFC executive has said. The stats more than back that up.

Recently, Mixon and his victim made public peace with each other. She said that she is "satisfied that we are going to put this behind us and work towards helping others who may have found themselves in similar circumstances."

The team that drafts Mixon will be scorned for choosing wins over character. He will have an opportunity to prove that when he says, “That’s not me. That’s not the way that I was raised,” he means it. But until years have passed and he has backed it up — if he has — he remains a character and PR risk.

Let’s run through the rest of Kadar’s top five prospects.

Dalvin Cook, Florida State

Cook produced iffy agility numbers (short shuttle, three-cone drill) at the NFL Combine, but his balance and straight-line speed — plus his ability to create opportunities to show that straight-line speed — made him an incredible back. He knows how to use his strength and center of gravity to bounce off of tacklers, but if he struggles at the next level, we’ll know agility matters.

Leonard Fournette, LSU

College football’s perfect running back specimen dealt with injury here and there, but when he was healthy (and not playing Alabama), he proved his recruiting hype right. He is a thoroughbred in the open field, and he showed patience and physicality.

Maybe injury issues continue (it’s hard to get a read for who’s “injury-prone” in college; remember how many injuries Adrian Peterson dealt with at Oklahoma?), or maybe his own lack of agility will prove a hindrance. But he spent quite a bit of the last three years looking the part.

Christian McCaffrey, Stanford:

McCaffrey’s liabilities are obvious: he isn’t big or all that strong. He also didn’t produce a ton as a frequently targeted receiver in 2016.

But in terms of pure running ability — agility, vision, speed, productivity — he proved A grade in virtually all categories.

Alvin Kamara, Tennessee

Kamara spent quite a bit of his two years in Knoxville behind workhorse Jalen Hurd on the depth chart and didn’t get a chance to prove himself over the course of a full season. What he showed in 2016 was a combination of average size, solid explosiveness, and major potential in the passing game.

(He also showed there’s almost no way he’d rank ahead of Mixon on the field.)

Curtis Samuel, Ohio State:

Samuel is maybe the most unique skill guy in this year’s draft. He’s small and crazy fast, but he’s also strong and efficient. Ohio State used him all over the field, and he ended up combining 97 carries with 97 pass targets in 2016.

If you’re looking for a running back prototype, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for a versatile guy who is dangerous as hell with the ball, pick Samuel.

I’d pick Samuel over Kamara and perhaps McCaffrey, for whatever that’s worth.

Let’s look at some more prospects.

The oxen

Oklahoma’s Samaje Perine and Texas’ D’Onta Foreman both took on heavy loads. After 489 carries in his first two years, Perine dealt with some wear and tear and saw his carries slip under 200 as a junior; Foreman carried just 111 times in his first two years but took on a ridiculous 323-carry load as a junior.

Both proved big, strong, and efficient, and they look the part. Neither is going to be particularly explosive.

Potential sleepers

Boise State’s Jeremy McNichols might be the best-rounded prospect outside of Kadar’s top six.

BYU’s Jamaal Williams didn’t prove much in the passing game but has decent size and elite agility. He showed a nice mix of efficient and explosiveness.

UNC’s T.J. Logan backed up fellow prospect Elijah Hood in 2016 but finished his career with 2,165 career rushing yards, 663 receiving yards, and four return scores, then posted an excellent 4.37 time in the 40. As a potential third-down back and return man, he is intriguing.

Aaron Jones was UTEP’s entire offense and produced strong numbers despite opposing game plans geared to stop him. He is not large, but he is agile and efficient.

Uh oh

Wayne Gallman looks the part, and his highlights are as good as anyone’s. But he was never particularly consistent at Clemson, and his explosiveness was minimal during last year’s title campaign.

Given a chance to prove himself after Melvin Gordon left, Wisconsin’s Corey Clement proved he is capable of a heavy load and reliably catching. But his explosiveness was sporadic (he was hurt multiple times), and he was dreadfully inefficient, recording five or more yards on just 31 percent of his carries in both 2015 and 2016. A lot of backs in this draft more consistently proved their upside.

[junker-town]

Joe Mixon is the best RB in the 2017 NFL draft. That’s ... awkward, to say the least

Ranking 24 top RB prospects, based on their college and combine numbers.

Last year around draft time, I used fancy stats and Combine numbers to tell you that Ezekiel Elliott was a pretty good running back. Pretty brilliant, right? Who could have known that without numbers.

To be fair, those numbers said more difficult things. They said third-rounder C.J. Prosise could be a steal and that fifth-rounder DeAndre Washington might be a massive steal. They said fourth-rounder Kenneth Dixon might be versatile enough to play an early role, that second-rounder Derrick Henry would be efficient but little else, and that fourth-rounder Devontae Booker probably wasn't going to be ready to produce.

A quick glance at Football Outsiders' 2016 NFL running back stats backs up most of those assertions. High fives all around.

So let’s see what the same stats and charts tell us about 2017’s crop of rookie backs.

We’ll start by referring to Dan Kadar’s most recent list of draft running back prospects. Here’s some basic 2016 data for each, along with a couple of measures from the NFL Combine. Green is good; red means that player compares poorly with the rest of this class.

% of carries: Player’s share of team’s rushing attempts. Opp Rate: % of player’s carries exceeding 5 yards. Hlt/ Opp: Yards over 5 for each 5-yard-plus carry. Target: Pass intended for this player.

What does this tell us? For starters, it tells us that there are exciting backs in this draft, players who produced solid efficiency numbers with upper-level explosiveness. Many also excelled in the passing game.

Let’s start distinguishing them.

On the field, Joe Mixon is the best back in the draft.

I think any of Kadar’s top five backs are exciting players. Aside from a slightly substandard catch rate, for instance, Florida State’s Dalvin Cook was in the green in every other category. He is a workhorse with upper-level explosiveness. There are excellent things to say about Leonard Fournette, Christian McCaffrey, Alvin Kamara, and Curtis Samuel, as well.

One player topped Cook in almost every category above, however: Oklahoma’s Joe Mixon. Because of the presence of Samaje Perine in the backfield, Mixon didn’t have to carry as much of a load as Cook. But his efficiency (opportunity rate), explosiveness (highlight yards per opportunity) and receiving numbers were all at least slightly superior, and he benched only one fewer rep than the stockier Cook.

Let’s compare Mixon to last year’s top running back prospect, Ezekiel Elliott.

Here’s Elliott’s 2016 draft radar.

And here’s Mixon’s.

Mixon was not quite as efficient, but was far more explosive and more dangerous in the passing game. This isn’t to say Mixon is automatically a better prospect, but the simple fact that he compares well is an exciting sign.

Mixon is a potentially incredible back. We don’t know that he can be a true workhorse because he hasn’t been asked to be one. But he has checked virtually every box he has had an opportunity to check.

Of course, Mixon comes with one enormous red flag, and we know it well by this point.

Since he punched a woman in the face so hard that she had to have eight hours’ worth of reconstructive surgery, he hasn’t had any incidents worse than yelling at a parking attendant. But he punched a woman in the face so hard that she had to have eight hours’ worth of reconstructive surgery.

And it was caught on camera. And he was shielded from media for almost two years afterward, which had the effect of reviving the incident over and over with no resolution.

“Without the incident, he’s a top-five pick,” as one NFC executive has said. The stats more than back that up.

Recently, Mixon and his victim made public peace with each other. She said that she is "satisfied that we are going to put this behind us and work towards helping others who may have found themselves in similar circumstances."

The team that drafts Mixon will be scorned for choosing wins over character. He will have an opportunity to prove that when he says, “That’s not me. That’s not the way that I was raised,” he means it. But until years have passed and he has backed it up — if he has — he remains a character and PR risk.

Let’s run through the rest of Kadar’s top five prospects.

Dalvin Cook, Florida State

Cook produced iffy agility numbers (short shuttle, 3-cone drill) at the NFL Combine, but his balance and straight-line speed — plus his ability to create opportunities to show that straight-line speed — made him an incredible back. He knows how to use his strength and center of gravity to bounce off of tacklers, but if he struggles at the next level, we’ll know agility matters.

Leonard Fournette, LSU

College football’s perfect running back specimen dealt with injury here and there, but when he was healthy (and not playing Alabama), he proved his recruiting hype right. He is a thoroughbred in the open field, and he showed patience and physicality.

Maybe injury issues continue (it’s hard to get a read for who’s “injury-prone” in college; remember how many injuries Adrian Peterson dealt with at Oklahoma?), or maybe his own lack of agility will prove a hindrance. But he spent quite a bit of the last three years looking the part.

Christian McCaffrey, Stanford:

McCaffrey’s liabilities are obvious: he isn’t big or all that strong. He also didn’t produce a ton as a frequently targeted receiver in 2016.

But in terms of pure running ability — agility, vision, speed, productivity — he proved A-grade in virtually all categories.

Alvin Kamara, Tennessee

Kamara spent quite a bit of his two years in Knoxville behind workhorse Jalen Hurd on the depth chart and didn’t get a chance to prove himself over the course of a full season. What he showed in 2016 was a combination of average size, solid explosiveness, and major potential in the passing game.

(He also showed there’s almost no way he’d rank ahead of Mixon on the field.)

Curtis Samuel, Ohio State:

Samuel is maybe the most unique skill guy in this year’s draft. He’s small and crazy-fast, but he’s also strong and efficient. Ohio State used him all over the field, and he ended up combining 97 carries with 97 pass targets in 2016.

If you’re looking for a running back prototype, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for a versatile guy who is dangerous as hell with the ball, pick Samuel.

I’d pick Samuel over Kamara and perhaps McCaffrey, for whatever that’s worth.

Let’s look at some more prospects.

The oxen

Oklahoma’s Samaje Perine and Texas’ D’Onta Foreman both took on heavy loads. After 489 carries in his first two years, Perine dealt with some wear and tear and saw his carries slip under 200 as a junior; Foreman carried just 111 times in his first two years but took on a ridiculous 323-carry load as a junior.

Both proved big, strong, and efficient, and they look the part. Neither is going to be particularly explosive.

Potential sleepers

Boise State’s Jeremy McNichols might be the best-rounded prospect outside of Kadar’s top six.

BYU’s Jamaal Williams didn’t prove much in the passing game but has decent size and elite agility. He showed a nice mix of efficient and explosiveness.

UNC’s T.J. Logan backed up fellow prospect Elijah Hood in 2016 but finished his career with 2,165 career rushing yards, 663 receiving yards, and four return scores, then posted an excellent 4.37 time in the 40. As a potential third-down back and return man, he is intriguing.

Aaron Jones was UTEP’s entire offense and produced strong numbers despite opposing game plans geared to stop him. He is not large, but he is agile and efficient.

Uh oh

Wayne Gallman looks the part, and his highlights are as good as anyone’s. But he was never particularly consistent at Clemson, and his explosiveness was minimal during last year’s title campaign.

Given a chance to prove himself after Melvin Gordon left, Wisconsin’s Corey Clement proved he is capable of a heavy load and reliably catching. But his explosiveness was sporadic (he was hurt multiple times), and he was dreadfully inefficient, recording five or more yards on just 31 percent of his carries in both 2015 and 2016. A lot of backs in this draft more consistently proved their upside.