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zutaraplatter · 4 years

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Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

#zutara #katara #aang #aanji #avatar the last airbender #uncle iroh #onji #on ji #Im wasting more time with these tags #avatar the last airbender critique #avatar critique #mai #avatar mai #ty lee #avatar ty lee #tylee #avatar tylee #the southern raiders

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tealin · 4 years

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Observation Hill

To see the post in its original format, please visit twirlynoodle.com/blog

There is no mistaking Observation Hill when you arrive at McMurdo, if you know anything about it. It is a distinct cone, right at the end of the peninsula – even if you've never seen a picture of it, its name alone tells you it's a prime lookout, and sticking out into McMurdo sound as it does, it has clear views in every direction.

I had seen pictures of it, but I was still surprised how it loomed over the station. Unlike the vastly larger Mt Erebus, it is visible from everywhere; whether you're eating in the Galley or crawling back to bed from the Crary lab in the wee hours, it's always looking over your shoulder.

Though not apparent in the above photo, it is clearly visible in person that there is a large cross mounted nearly at the peak of the hill. Visitors especially from the States might assume it is just another expression of religious devotion – Christ died on a cross on a hill, so hilltop crosses are not unusual in a country which puts great stock in expressions of Christianity – but this is not another one of those things, in fact it isn't even American. This cross was erected in January 1913 by the surviving men of the Terra Nova Expedition, as a memorial to Captain Scott and the other members of his party who died out on the Ross Ice Shelf on their way home from the South Pole.

Before the ship arrived it was decided among us to urge the erection of a cross on Observation Hill to the memory of the Polar Party. On the arrival of the ship the carpenter immediately set to work to make a great cross of jarrah wood [an Australian hardwood]. There was some discussion as to the inscription, it being urged that there should be some quotation from the Bible because "the women think a lot of these things." But I was glad to see the concluding line of Tennyson's "Ulysses" adopted: "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

... Observation Hill was clearly the place for it, it knew them all so well. Three of them were Discovery men who lived three years under its shadow: they had seen it time after time as they came back from hard journeys on the Barrier: Observation Hill and Castle Rock were the two which had always welcomed them in. It commanded McMurdo Sound on one side, where they had lived: and the Barrier on the other, where they had died. No more fitting pedestal, a pedestal which in itself is nearly 1000 feet high, could have been found.

(Apsley Cherry-Garrard, The Worst Journey in the World, pp.565-7)

The establishment of the cross took two days: the first, to hack a hole in the volcanic rock in which to mount it, and the second to carry up the pieces and erect them.

It stands nine feet out of the rocks, and many feet into the ground, and I do not believe it will ever move. When it was up, facing out over the Barrier, we gave three cheers and one more. (ibid., p.567)

106 years later, there is a hiking trail up Observation Hill. I had intended to make a pilgrimage since the moment I arrived, but with everything else going on, and the ongoing challenge to get enough sleep, it wasn't until quite late in my visit that I finally made it.

My first attempt was on a relatively fine day, when I thought I could get some good views. The trailhead was clearly marked on the station map, but when I got there I couldn't find a way to reach it without crossing a fuel pipeline, and I had a dim recollection from orientation that this was a big no-no. I wandered about looking for access until I started getting a headache from the fumes, and gave up.

The next opportunity came a few days later, after I'd found out from a veteran that it was OK just to step over the pipeline there. It was a thickly cloudy day, and hazy by Antarctic standards, so I wouldn't get as good a view, but that did mean I could look forward to having the hill to myself. So I stepped over the pipeline and started up.

It looks like a terribly steep climb from the bottom, but once on the slope it's not so bad, and is far less slippery than the gravel slope of Arrival Heights. Partway up I passed a mountain rescue class, but beyond that the trail was entirely mine.

Like the rest of Ross Island, Observation Hill is volcanic in origin – in fact it was once a small volcano of its own. Unlike the subglacial volcano that is now Castle Rock, which grew cylindrically through a hole it melted in the ice, Observation Hill must have been uncovered in its later years at least, because it has the classic cone shape made by molten rock running down the outside. It is a lighter colour than much of the rest of the exposed rock in the area, and in places, it gives a really good impression of being sedimentary rather than igneous.

While the climb was not as physically intense as I had feared, it did still make me very warm, and I had two pauses, not to catch my breath but to cool down. One was to watch the rescue class, the other was when, somewhere near the top, I lost the trail, and examined the terrain for a while to guess which side would be least fall-off-able. I chose the wrong one, it turns out – I didn't fall off, but I did have to pick my way over some bare rock and came out above the cross, which is mounted in a pocket of rubble just off the peak.

It's hard to tell from the photo but it is in fact quite large – I am an average sized female and I stood well under the crossbar. The inscription is still there, but over a century of blizzards have battered it, and some parts are just barely decipherable.

The names – above of the worst of the blowing grit – are still legible. This gave me one of those moments which always seems to come by surprise. I have lived most of my life, and certainly all of my career, in close proximity with fictional characters, who demand to be believed in, either out of escapist necessity or professional duty. Most of the time I am off in my own little world, and the fact that that little world is now a historical moment in Antarctica does not, necessarily, make it more real, in relation to my literal present reality, than any movie I've worked on. I know these guys were real, I have seen film footage of them, and read their handwriting, and, some of them, even met members of their families! But when I'm up to my elbows in the work, it's easy to give it the part of my brain that suspends disbelief on a production. Suddenly something will come along that jolts me back to their reality: in this case, a name carved on a physical object by someone who knew them personally.

At the same time, this physical object impressed upon me again just how much time separates their reality and mine. Originally the cross was painted white, with the incised letters filled in black. Only a little of the white paint remains in the deepest recesses of what are quite shallow letters, now. In 1960, when Silas Wright returned and was photographed up here, the wood had already been scoured clean. His visit was 47 years after the cross was put in place, and 49 years before mine. The same imagination that conflates historical realities with fictional ones can make those years evaporate, but that is still a lot of years, and erosion, unlike imagination, doesn't lie.

Cherry may have believed that the cross would never move, but it has in fact blown down twice, once in the winter of 1974 and again in 1993. Its restoration in 1994 was a significant effort: a new concrete "boot" was made for it at Scott Base and delivered to the site by helicopter, and the cross itself was relayed up the hill by teams of helpers. (You can see photos of the event here, p.44) I cannot say how moving it is to see such an outlay of resources and enthusiasm by people who never met the Polar Party, to perpetuate their memory.

The cross isn't the only thing to see at the top of Observation Hill, of course – there is everything else. It turned out to be the perfect way to end my tour of Terra Nova landmarks, not only because it was the last bit of home territory the Terra Nova men themselves visited, but because I could see nearly everywhere I'd been from up here.

As you can see, it was not the greatest day for landscape photography, what with the matte light and the taller mountains being covered with cloud. But I had not come up here to take pictures. The sombre atmosphere befitted what I had come to do, which was to remember these men and thank The Powers That Be for the blessings that had been showered upon me in the last few weeks.

The cross faces south, towards their last camp, and the Pole. This is, of course, a thoughtful and fitting aspect of the memorial. It also gives the impression of a beacon, a light in a window, a lighthouse on a headland, guiding them home. The men who erected it knew the men were dead. They are still dead. We all know this. But they are still out there somewhere, and it is not impossible to imagine some small irrational part of the human psyche wanting, in some small way, to show them the way back, and call them back by name.

Minna Bluff was covered in cloud, so I couldn't use it as a bellwether, but the wind started to pick up and was colder than before, so I thought I should start heading down again. The correct trail was obvious from this end, and I poked along it for a little way before everything caught up with me and I sat down to have a little cry.

The cross is a historical artefact, and while it is not as plum or as complex as the huts, it still requires conservation. Alarmed by the degree of erosion on the lettering, the Antarctic Heritage Trust has devised a shell to protect it from the worst of the winter winds. That will do something, but it has already lost a lot. When I was up there, I wondered why it hadn't ever been repainted, as the paint would go a long way to protecting it, and when the paint wore off it could just get repainted instead of eating further and further into the wood. The raw timber is more harmonious with the environment, and I like it better aesthetically that way, as do many others I'm sure – the white cross with black letters in Debenham's photo from 1913 is very stark and artificial in such a magnificent landscape. But it would last a lot longer.

On the other hand, generations of Antarcticans now have the cross as a touchstone, not only as their link to the history (not everyone gets to visit Cape Evans) but as a landmark in their own experience of Antarctica. It was personally important to the men who painted it white and put it up, but it is also personally important to hundreds, if not thousands, of people since then, who have never seen it white and don't know that's how it started, and might see the repainting as a travesty. If it were to be conserved, to what extent would that go? Would the letters be re-carved deeper, obliterating what remains of Davies' original work? At what point does conservation end and adulteration begin?

The alternative is to take down the original and keep it somewhere out of the weather – Scott Base perhaps – and replace it with a replica. Jarrah is still available, the letters could be carved afresh, it could be the bare wood everyone has known and loved for the last fifty years at least, and the original could be saved from the effects of weather once and for all. But doesn't this defeat the intent of the original in some way, and make it – dare I say – a Disneyland version? Do we owe more to history to keep it as it is and let the elements wear it down, or to preserve it as long as possible and do whatever might be necessary to extend the experience and historical understanding of a place, if not its authenticity?

These are all questions that curators and conservators have been grappling with for years, so I leave it to them to make the decisions. I am grateful to have seen the original, and to have a moment to myself up there to reflect on these things, and more. I hope, whatever happens with it in the future, Observation Hill is not de-crossed entirely. How else will they find the way home?

#antarctica #mcmurdo station #observation hill #conservation #history #memorial #artefacts #scott expedition #terra nova expedition #scott base

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katie-writes24 · 4 years

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Cursed Blessings

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x reader

Warnings: MAJOR MENTIONS/BRIEF SCENE OF RAPE! Language, angst, alcohol, suggestive material, and this is just really sad.

Chpt. 2

Okay, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS! I don’t think the scene is graphic, however it’s there. If you feel that I should put a stronger warning, please don’t be afraid to dm me.

So, my first ficlet, where do I begin? This story was supposed to be a cute little scene with Thomas and an ex lover but omg, I went so off track but I hope yall like it. I did lots of scheming with this fic and @tinywhim I cannot thank you enough for all the help! Brainstorming with you gives me so much more motivation to actually finish writing stories ngl. But yeah, please be wary. Next part will be much lighter I promise. Let me know if you want to be tagged, I’m tagging my original tjeff taglist. Feedback is always appreciated! And....hope you guys continue this story with me! Enjoy!

Y/N didn’t believe in soulmates, even if she was surrounded by so many people who seemed to be destined to each other. Her parents were married for 27 years, never once betrayed each other, they even died together. Even though her mother would call them soulmates, she didn’t believe it, she just thought they were two people who found an undeniable love.

It was this phrase that was tossed around so much that it was starting to seem like a far off fantasy.

That changed when she met Thomas.

He was brilliant, charming, he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. He had little quirks about him that she knew was just for her to see. Y/N liked when he would tell a story and he would get this fond look in his eye, and start scrunching up his nose the faster he talked. To her it was adorable, to him it was stupid.

Thomas made her feel safe, she’s never felt like that before.

They met at an art exhibit, and the two spent the whole night talking about different pieces and ended up going to a small diner, looking ridiculously overdressed. She could see her mother gush about how romantic it was, how she could picture the wedding now.

Y/N still didn’t believe in soulmates, but she did start to imagine a future with the man.

Two years in, they were finally thinking about moving in together. Thomas found a nice place in Charlottesville, not too far from his family’s estate. It felt like a perfect dream. They were going to close on it at the end of summer.

It was all perfect timing. The Jefferson's always threw a big charity event in July, the house would be filled with hundreds of snobby, rich attendees. Trying to fill in a conversation with any of them bored her to death, but Y/N couldn’t complain because while they had no genuine personality, they did have money. The event usually does really well each year, and this year was no different.

Y/N spent that whole weekend at the Jefferson's estate, helping set up decorations and enjoying her time with him and his father. Ever since Thomas’s mother passed, Peter hasn’t been as social with outsiders.

And even though she had heard some stories from the past that gave her dreaded chills, the man seemed to mean well. Thomas had told her that it was all in the past, and that he still cares for his father, so she shouldn’t hold it against him if Thomas wasn’t.

The night after the fundraiser she learned more about Peter Jefferson. He liked to golf, he enjoyed telling awful jokes, and he liked to drink.

He drank a lot that night.

Y/N was in the study, reading the final chapter of her book on the couch. Thomas had gone out with James for the night, seeing that he would be leaving to go up to New York till the end of summer. It was peaceful; she was wrapped in a large blanket, feet on the table with a mug of coffee and a good book.

The characters were clashing, it was something she hadn’t expected. She leaned forward and focused more on the words, not noticing the door open and shut quietly behind her. She only lifted her head when she felt cold fingertips run up her backside.

Y/N turned around quickly, noticing Peter barely standing on his own.

“Peter, are you alright? You don’t look too good.” His eyes were foggy, there was a stain across his shirt and he hiccupped to himself as he laughed.

“Well, I think...you do, darling.”

“Do what?”

“You look..good, very-very good if I might add.” He staggered into the seat next to her and immediately put his hand on her thigh.

“What are you doing?!” She pushed his hand off and he chuckled again.

“You know, Thomas...my son he sure did pick out...a beautiful lady. And, heh, at least he did something right, he did something good in his life. But that boy, he still doesn't have the mindset yet...he doesn’t see that-” Peter drifted off as he looked like he was about to vomit all over himself.

It was an opportunity, it was the perfect time to leave.

“He’s so blinded by your wit that he doesn’t see that you’re taking as you please, and maybe not even to him alone, right huh?” He grabbed Y/N’s calf as he tucked himself into her neck.

“He doesn’t see the way you dress, the way you look, how you’re just asking for it! Is he not giving you enough attention, darling?”

His hands felt slimy and unfamiliar, and they were certainly unwanted.

But what was Y/N to do? She could’ve easily ran out the room. The man was drunk, she could’ve easily shoved him, hit him hard enough, and he would probably stumble and she could get out. She could call Thomas-

Thomas.

Thomas kept her safe, Thomas promised her that she was his and nobody else’s. Thomas left the house, Thomas brought her into an abuser’s house.

Thomas was going to be so upset.

And she could avoid this, Y/N could put an end to this hand running up her shorts.

But she was numb, she was lost. All she could see was Thomas, all she could think was Thomas. But that certainly wasn’t Thomas’s hands, not his soothing touch, not his caring praise. It was Peter’s, and it was disgusting. But if she ended this, what would he say to Thomas?

By the time she could feel her feet, it was already over.

Y/N sat up to her pants on the floor along with a spilled coffee and puke smears on the rug. Her bones were cold, but that blanket had a white stain that made her uncomfortable. She looked and found the door closed.

As if he never even came in.

Maybe it was seconds, maybe it was hours, but when she finally sat up her whole body weight caved in on her.

She had to clean up the mess, she needed to get rid of the evidence.

She had to clean herself, she felt like this wasn’t her body. She was violated, she was abused, she was used.

Y/N took the longest shower of her life, whether it be from her crying or trying to disinfect the feeling of hands crossing her torso.

She went to bed alone, and surprisingly, sleep caught her quick. When she woke up, she was still alone. No Thomas, no Peter.

Her emotions ran over her again and she sobbed gently into her pillow. She was too afraid to leave the bed, too afraid to go downstairs and see what broke her, is breaking her. It was too much.

When her tears finally ran dry, there was a knock on the door. Immediately, she pulled her knees up to her chest and felt her heart jump. She stopped breathing until she heard her boyfriend’s voice.

As he walked in, he had bloodshot eyes, wearing the same clothes as the night before.

“Sorry I didn’t come back home. I drank a little too much, crashed at James’s place.”

I drank a little too much.

“It’s okay,” Her voice cracked and she hoped he didn’t notice it. Y/N couldn’t bear with his overwhelming care right now, she wasn’t ready for questions.

“Hey, so, turns out I do have to go in tomorrow, and early at that. So, what do you say getting a head start on the drive back?” Raising a brow, Thomas had a soft look on his face. He looked so different all of a sudden.

“I would like that.” Y/N put on her best smile.

But she couldn’t hold it forever, she would eventually give herself away, and of course after being together for a couple of years, Thomas would know a difference. The lack of hugs, the uncharacteristic quiet, working, what she claimed, “overtime.”

They were signs.

The next few weeks, he made an effort to do better, try harder. Thomas booked reservations at the most expensive restaurants, he surprised her at work on Wednesday’s, he made sure to leave the office on time so he could cook dinner for Y/N, always asking how her day was.

He said those three words at every chance he got because he needed her to know, he needed her to understand that whatever was happening, whoever she was seeing, they wouldn’t love her like him.

It wasn’t enough.

“Is there someone else?”

Y/N turned to look at him, luggage in hand. She’s never seen him so broken, so lost. He had stopped crying, clinging to himself as if to hold him close to the ground. Those eyes, those deep brown eyes that she fell in love with...they were too similar.

It was like she was back on that couch, seeing those drunken orbs that ruined her forever.

Apparently, her silence was his answer. Thomas nodded his head sadly and walked back towards the bedroom, leaving Y/N stuck to the doorstep.

~~~

“It could turn out to be a blessing.”

Her jaw was shut tight, hand over her mouth, restricting even the tiniest sob from letting loose.

“No matter what happens, we’ll help you out….”

This town wouldn’t let her live peacefully if she dared approach one of those buildings.

“Have you at least called the father?”

Peter gave her a check and a note two days ago.

“Why don’t you just come up here? We can figure this out together.”

Her phone dinged, and there was a ticket to New York staring at her.

“Whatever you need, whatever you decide, we’ll support you, Y/N.”

She was gonna need it.

Jefferson Taglist: @notebookgirl30 @dontblinkumightmiss @checkurwindow @einfachniemand @astralaffairs @daveeddiggsit @ramp-it-up @ohsoverykeri-blog @i-know-i-can

#thomas jefferson x reader #thomas jefferson imagine #thomas jefferson x oc #thomas jefferson #hamilton fic #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #my writings #cursed blessings #i finally made a story tag #this story is a giant cry #dont hate me #thomas jefferson fanfic

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twinkleallnight · 4 years

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12 Days of Fictmas

Thank you Erin and Alicia for this wonderful opportunity. This is my first time at fictmas and I hope you enjoy this little treat.

Thank you @txemrn for brainstorming.

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Word count: 1389

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

A/N: This is also my submission for sibling appreciation month hosted by @lovealexhunt.

Santa Comes to Town.

It was a cold winter morning when the tiny toddler jumped up into her elder brother’s bed. She frantically moved her tiny hands around the blankets which covered her brother in a warm slumber.

“Dekey! Dekey! Gey-Up! Up! Kishmush! Kishmush!”

The boy pulled the covers over his head. His muffled sound came out. “Not yet, Savvie. It’s still a week to go. Let me sleep.”

The little girl frowned and shouted out at the door, “Mommy! Dekey not getting up. Eeaam mama weebe anggy."

Listening to this, Bianca walked in, her hands full of neatly folded clothes that she stacked properly in the children’s cupboard. She turned around and walked to the little girl who was still sitting at the edge of the bed with pouted lips. Bianca sat down in front of her and looked into her brown eyes. “Sweetpea, you don’t say Liam’s mama. She is the queen. You address her as ‘your majesty’ or ‘madam’.”

Then she called out, “Drake, you need to get out of that bed, and prepare to host your friend.”

“Yes Mother.” The four-year-old obediently plopped up into the bed rubbing his eyes.

Bianca picked up her daughter in her arms and started walking to the washroom. “Let’s get you dressed up pretty. How would you like that?” The little girl nodded enthusiastically.

The next hour was spent in getting the kids through the morning routine.

While her husband was busy at the palace, as the head of king’s guard, Bianca spent time bringing up her kids with just a bit of the Texan touch in a foreign land.

Staying in the kingdom of Cordonia, she had carried her roots from the life back from Texas. It could be seen in her lifestyle and her home.

She had beautifully decorated a wall with some rustic crosses where her children stood praying with her, now. After offering their prayers, the kids got busy in decorating their little Christmas tree, that Jackson, their father had managed for them.

“It’s quite small.” He had sighed after placing it in the corner of their living room.

“It is perfect Jack.” Bianca had assured him as they watched Drake and Savannah jumping around it. The tree that appeared small to Jackson, was towering over the little stature of the kids. Savannah was clapping her hands in excitement.

The siblings spent each day adding a little of this and a little of that to their tree. Today it was special as Drake’s best friend, prince Liam was visiting them with his mother, Queen Eleanor.

Bianca was flabbergasted when she received the queen first time, during her stay at Cordonia, soon after her wedding to Jackson. But, over a period of time, she got accustomed to the loving nature of the Queen and her unique ways of mingling with common people. It had somehow become a tradition to host the Queen a week before the Christmas day, at the Walker’s humble quarters.

Bianca was occupied in the kitchen preparing the menu for the visit till late noon. She realised there was pin drop silence in the house. ‘What are these two up to now?’ she worried. She rushed to the bedroom but stopped in her tracks to find Savannah dressed up in her red frilly frock sitting on the floor.

Drake was holding the little girl’s hand delicately in his, as he was busy painting her tiny nails red. It looked like he had done up her brown curls in a slightly messy braid. When Savannah sensed her mother, she looked up and Bianca saw her pearly whites shining through the brightly coloured red lips.

Bianca’s heart warmed up to see the doting elder brother still engrossed into his job. “Mommy!” Savannah shrieked. Drake shook with the sudden sound and tipped the nail enamel bottle he was holding on his dress. “I am sorry mother.” He looked apologetically at his mother, worrying that she may scold him for the mess.

Her favourite nail enamel was spilled over and there was a messy shirt to clean but she ignored it all to keep up the spirit. “Don’t worry Drake. The Queen will be here any minute now, it’s time. Let’s quickly change your shirt. As she was helping him into fresh clothes, the doorbell jingled.

Eleanor walked in with Liam. Savannah was the first to run up to her. She curtsied trying to balance over her wobbly feet. Eleanor picked up the tiny tot in her arms admiring, “Look at you! You are all grown up.”

“Dake dessed me.” Savannah stuttered. Bianca rolled her eyes and Eleanor caught the gesture, understanding what must have conspired, looking at the makeup and the hairdo. Drake came ahead and bowed to Eleanor shyly.

“Here, here little guy. You did it all by yourself?” she asked him, putting Savannah back on her toes and giving Drake a warm hug. “Look at the hairstyle and the make up! You are good at this Drake. Isn’t she looking cute?” Drake blushed while Savannah twirled around with a glee . “May be some day I can have a little girl just like you!”

The last statement brought big expectant smile on Liam’s face. Bianca gave him a hug, “Bless your heart! Our little prince will love it!”

After everyone exchanged greetings, the ladies settled down for a chitchat while the brother and sister pulled Liam to show their Christmas tree.

They enjoyed playing around it for some time and then decided to move to the playroom. Drake and Liam each held one of Savannah’s hands and walked with her slow pace as Eleanor watched them go. “Aww! They are so adorable!”

Drake pulled out the wooden blocks and the three of them sat together to make a castle. “Who weebe the king?” Savannah asked.

“Liam will be, Savvie. He is the prince.” Drake told her while Liam smiled at her acknowledging.

“Ann you Dekey?”

“I will be king’s guard, just like daddy.” Drake said with a puffed-up chest.

“Ann I?” Savannah questioned again to understand her role in the pretend play.

“You can be a Duchess!” Liam added.

“Wha do duchesh do?”

“She helps the king at his work.” Liam explained patiently.

Savannah was delighted and agreed to play her role.

Their game continued till Bianca came in to take them for snacks.

“Momma, Eeaam made me duchesh!” She started telling her mother about their pretend play. Eleanor listened keenly. Liam and Drake exchanged shy looks. Being boys they preferred to keep their games to themselves.

Bianca served them her traditional chili, Frito and tortillas. They all sat together and feasted over the delicacies. After munching the kolache for dessert, some more plans were made for the coming week and Christmas party.

Soon, it was time for departure, and Savannah found it overwhelming to let go. Her big brown eyes were welled up as she hugged Liam and addressed the Queen, “Eeaam mama, I wan Eeaam play weeme!” Eleanor laughed at her sweet request.

Bianca picked up her little one and told her firmly, “Savannah Jane Walker! You do not say that. You say ‘Madam'.”

Eleanor ignored the formalities and cupped her cheeks, “Liam is going to go to the palace and set up a big Christmas tree for you. How about you visit us with your Momma and brother later?”

Savannah half-heartedly nodded. Bianca put her down next to her brother, “Drake, can you take her to her room?”

“Yes mother.” Drake quickly bid farewell to his friend and walked his little sister, who was sobbing silently, to her room. Bianca saw her guests out. When she returned to the children’s room, she was treated with yet another sweet moment. Savannah had lay down with her head in Drake’s lap, her eyelids drooping. Bianca's little son was singing to her in his baby voice, “...Santa’s coming to town…

You better watch out; you better not cry.

Better not pout, I am telling u why.

He sees when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.

He knows when you’re bad or good so be good for goodness sake.”

She patiently waited for him to finish his verse and then walked in to hug him, “Oh punkin! I love you!”

She kissed him and then lifted almost asleep Savannah from his lap. She cuddled up with her kids humming ‘Santa comes to town'.

12 Days of Fictmas Writers: @texaskitten30 @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes @ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow @katedrakeohd

Readers : @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject

My tags: @choicesmonthlychallenge @bebepac @charlotteg23 @choicesficwriterscreations @cordonia-gothqueen @cordonianroyalty @gkittylove99 @glaimtruelovealways @hopelessromanticmonie @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @jovialyouthmusic @jaxsmutsuo @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @mrswalkers-blog @no-one-u-know @ntoraplayschoices @princessleac1 @ritachacha @shanzay44 @queenrileyrose @sanchita012 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @yourmajesty09

#12 days of fictmas 2020 #pixelberry #playchoices #the royal romance #drake walker #trr #trr fandom #twinkleallnight #choices 12 days of fictmas

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imagine-loki · 4 years

Text

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 65 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths. RATING: Mature NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Loki placed his hand gently on Ella’s stomach. He could feel the infant inside moving slightly. He could not imagine how it felt to Ella to have such sensations within her body. He heard her groan slightly and shift a little to try and alleviate some of the strain in her back causing him to feel some guilt.

Their son was growing, as was, of course, normal for an infant to do but the more time went on, the larger still he seemed to grow. If he was honest, Loki was unsure how in the realms she was going to manage to birth him if he continued to grow as he was doing. Many had said it in passing to him and as a result, it was beginning to concern him now but Ella seemed entirely nonplussed, only saying that it would be fine time and time again. As he was not the one having to perform the act of childbirth, he decided not to push the topic too greatly for fear of inciting worry or annoyance.

When she groaned and stretched out her back again, he growled to himself. Her back was already aching and Býleistr’s actions had added issues to the situation. He thought over how she had dealt with his brother and smiled. There was none that could match Ella’s manner of dealing with any form of situation. She was able to grasp what was necessary for any issue with a swiftness that he could only be envious of. Looking at her sleeping face, the slight frown line present telling him that she would soon wake to go to the bathroom as their son was pressing on her bladder, Loki waited.

Sure enough, groaning with irritation, Ella began to stir awake. Opening her eyes, she took a moment to focus before looking at him. “Did I wake you?” “No.” “Okay.” She stretched slightly. “I was worried.” “How do you know that it wasn’t me that woke you?” Ella shook her head. “Because I need to go to the bathroom.” She got out of the bed and went to the bathroom before returning quickly and going back under the covers and settling again. “Better. He keeps pushing down on it when I sleep on my side.” “Then don’t sleep that way.” “On my back and stomach are not options right now.” She reminded him.

“True,” He conceded. “Is there anything you can take to ease the discomfort?”

“Not really. If I take something, it may stunt his development, or his seidr may not appreciate what could be perceived as a poison to him. According to my mother, that was her error with me. She took Petal of Feris to assist in the aches she had. It’s a Vanir medicine, entirely safe during pregnancy, and apparently, I believed it was better to be safe than to be sorry and decided it was not worth risking, hence I removed my dependency on the being risking my well-being with said herb and my seidr fought back, resulting in my premature birth.” “True to form, you could not even do what is best for you whilst in the womb.” Loki shook his head and rolled his eyes as he spoke.

“I am consistent, you cannot deny it.”

“That is true.” Loki conceded. He gently rubbed her arm. “I wish you were not so uncomfortable.” “So do I, but that is the joys of carrying a child. It is not like I was uninformed of how this would fare. At least I do not have to suffer as long as many Jotnar females.”

“It is rare that they would be as big as you are growing, the few that I recall through the years.” “Well, how many have grandfather’s like our child has? Odin is big by Aesir standards, much less Jotnar.” She sighed. “But it does mean he will be formidable and foreboding in appearance. The strongest looking Jotnar on the realm.” “And what am I?” Loki asked with a raised brow.

Ella scoffed slightly. “Your appearance is not foreboding, your mind is.” She glanced towards him and smiled, worried he would take her words as an insult. Seeing the frown in his features, she gave him a reassuring smile. “That is what truly matters.” “You just said our son having his features will be the strongest.”

“I said he will have the appearance of the strongest, that is not the only thing that matters, a strong mind is most important, just look at Thor.”

“He is not as stupid as many think he to be,” Loki pointed out.

“No, he’s not, it’s true, but he is still more brawn than brain.”

Loki could not argue her on that. “So you do not think my appearance to be strong and foreboding?”

“You know well what I was saying. Or is it that you are seeking compliments?” “Well, it never does any harm to feel that your mate thinks well of you.”

Ella smiled. “I think the fact I willingly partook in the acts that created your son and heir shows I am not averse to the sight of you.” Her face turned slightly mischievous, “In the dark, with only dim lighting.”

Loki growled beside her causing her to laugh a little. “How dare you? What if I were of tender spirit and required the assurance of my mate?” “You don’t need assurance from me, you have had many females frequent your bed over the years. You know very well that you are appealing and sought after.”

Loki was uncertain as to how to answer such a statement. He never regretted his past, yet hearing Ella reference it in such a manner made him somewhat uncomfortable. He knew that she knew a lot, if not all, and with her, it truly was possible she knew all, of his previous paramours and escapades and seemed unperturbed by them. That in itself perturbed him. Had it been the other way around, had he heard that Ella had warmed the beds of many men, he would have been angered. Even thinking of the hypothetical chance of that put a twinge of jealousy through him. She had been pure the night of their union, he was sullied and soiled and she never thought to judge him for it.

“You’ve gone silent.” “I am thinking.” “Of?”

“How entirely hypocritical I am.” “Am? Present tense? How so?” “I treat us differently. To different standards.” “In what manner?” Ella’s curiosity piqued. “The manner in which you speak about my past, there is no judgement.”

“Because I am not judging you.”

“Why?” “It would be farcical for me to judge you when I did not judge my own brother for such, or do you not remember my comments on how he would mount a statue, given half the opportunity?”

“But you did no such thing, so…” “So because I did not do such, I have the right to judge you? That seems peculiar. Very much implying that I should feel as though I am in a position to see myself as above others. I am not. I am not perfect, Norns but that is clear.” Loki’s brow furrowed. “What makes you say that?” “I am not a perfect daughter, Loki. I never was. My parents love me, as parents do, but they will tell you outright, my brother caused heartache with his brutishness and I did so with my, well, they like to call it mischief, to attempt to play it down but it was a tad more sinister.”

“How so? The Allfather mentioned you sneaking into court, that is hardly nefarious.” “I snuck around going to court, yes and yes, that is not overly sinister. But so did I study from witches, druids and elves that are genuinely wanted beings on many realms and learning things that are illegal and forbidden.” Loki’s eyes widened. “What?” “My father is the Allfather, one of the most powerful beings in all of the realm, I make him seem weak. If I were to wish to do so, I have the ability to use my seidr to obliterate Gungnir. That is why my father is entrusting it to me. He is scared. Too many dangerous and powerful beings would do unspeakable things were they to get their hands on that staff and in my custody, my father knows, that even if some mad Jotnar were to attempt to use it against me, I could shatter it into a trillion pieces as soon as look at it. He does not have the strength to wield ti fully any more, nor does he have the power to protect it. Apparently, our so will use it in time to come but until then, he wishes for it to be safe, and the safest place for it is with me. My father had two weapons brought to his possession that are too dangerous for almost every being, Gungnir and Mjolnir, one is loyal to my brother, who, for all of his faults, is of good heart and the other,” she looked at the staff glowing slightly to the side of the bed. “Is guarded here by me, the one being with the strength and knowledge to destroy it if needs be. Something I should be arrested and tried for as it is dark magic long forbidden and outlawed.” She turned and looked at a fearful Loki again. “So you see, my dear mate, if we were to tally our past indiscretions, having nights of pleasure with consenting women does not even come close to my actions. You do not even register on the scale for such. Also, as you know from your listening to my conversation that day with Angrboða when she, Alma and Býleistr were to be sent to the East to deal with the conflict there, I see your past experience as something of a blessing. Norns only knows how incompetent and farcical our early matings would have been otherwise. It would have made the later, more...wished for ones far less wanted.”

“I…you truly are something else, I hope you know that.” Was all Loki could think to say regarding what she had just told him. “I...What in the realms did you learn that was illegal? How can they possibly be illegal?” “I could tell you, but I would have to kill you, and I like you, so I won’t.” She rubbed her nose against his playfully being sighing contently. “Loki…” Leaning in against him more, she noticed a significant bulge against her leg. “Does that honestly excite you that greatly?”

“Knowing that I have sired a child with a being so deadly, I think it might.” Seeing her willing smirk, he encouraged her to move until she was sitting on top of him. “If you rather we did not?” Ella’s response was to lean in a manner that assists them further with their actions. “You and I both know I would not have allowed you to do that much if I didn’t.”

#Loki #Others #Submission #Submitted fic #chapter 65 #Pride and Prejudice #wolfpawn

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worldcakecakecake · 3 years

Text

On Deutschland and Italia, by Lovino Valenti

Lovino writes a series of blog entries on the relationship between Germany and Italy as he deals with a move to Hamburg, his brother’s wedding, and his budding romance (which he denies) to the infuriating Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Chapter 9

It was a Friday Lovino had taken to work from home, calmed with coffee, typing away in a serene air…one he had tried to get himself on, avoiding the notification for a reminder of an event he was invited to, the dinner were Feliciano said he was finally going to talk about what’s going on. It was supposed to be tomorrow and all he could feel was anguish and worry, expecting the worst words to come then. And when they say it…what could he do? What could he say? What could he convince them to do? His thoughts were interrupted by a call…Gilbert’s name in a splendid of color to him. Despite the bubbling pink feelings, he took the call quick and harsh, hiding whatever immense of feelings. “Pronto?”

“So, Ludwig just admitted to me that he’s starting a new business.”

“A whole new business!” Lovino practically shouted.

“I couldn’t get anything else out of him. He told me he’ll say more at the dinner tomorrow.”

Lovino groaned, “I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all.”

“He mentioned that he’s worried about what we’re going to think.”

“That’s because it surely has to be something horrible! Ugh, does my brother even understand what he’s getting himself into?” He started swinging a pen, ready to aim in his anger.

“Well, what can we do about it? The wedding is in a month! No matter what they decided on, everything is well on its way and there’s nothing we can do to change that!”

“Yes…yes! We have to!”

“Lovino, I’m just as worried as you are, but we can’t make them realize-”

“That’s what we’ll do! Make them realize!”

“Realize what?”

“How everything is a bad idea, how they should re-think this entire thing and deal with something safer…something that might get them to stay here even,” Lovino stood and paced trying to get his thoughts to kindle.

“What can we possibly get short notice?”

And Lovino stopped, Gilbert understanding with the silence that he didn’t have a single clue. It continued, Gilbert being able to hear the furious tap of the pen Lovino held.

“What if we…what if we talk to our families today?” Gilbert suggested. “Let them know part of what’s going on. Maybe then, when Ludwig and Feliciano come, they’ll have ideas and we can be like this…team! With enough force, we can change their minds!” Gilbert alighted, with bright hope that already promised his little brother still in Germany.

“That’s…that’s brilliant!”

Gilbert startled…not expecting such a positive reaction from him. The energy he glowed with…oh…he was blushing, hand shaking, close to running to him and witnessing it all right before him. “You-you…you think so?” He tried to sound his usual dashing grin, yet it came out crocked and he was now beginning to sweat.

You know what…maybe staying home was a better idea.

“Yes! It’s perfect!” A quick glance to the clock, only three p.m., enough time, Lovino thought. “But we have to start now! I’ll talk to my grandfather and parents.” In his haste, not really being conscious of what he was doing, he threw a loving kiss that made Gilbert swear he was going to faint. “Good luck and see you tomorrow,” those last words were uttered in deep seduction and Gilbert couldn’t take it. Lovino hung up, not giving the chance for Gilbert to say a proper goodbye…not that he could at the moment. He fell straight to the couch, keeping his eyes wide to tell himself that this wasn’t a dream.

Oh no…he had it bad, so bad…he could hear his brother laughing in some corner of his mind.

He couldn’t stand up, he was stuck in his own bliss, with nothing on his mind but Lovino and wanting the next day to come. Oh there was that shirt he could wear! The one his mother always told him to, but he never did thinking it made him look as pompous as his cousin Roderich. Oh wait, his mother! He had to start calling them.

It was a splendid night, slightly cold, but still a perfect atmosphere that to Ludwig and Feliciano was even romantic. How they wished they could have saved it only for themselves, with the restaurant’s dim lighting, one of the private corners they knew Augusto can easily place for them. Instead, it was one of the big tables that was waiting for them, they were late, and from what they could see out the window, the ones missing.

“I’m sure they’ll be happy,” Feliciano confided.

Ludwig sighed though, still so anxious. He took Feliciano’s hand, a tight grasp, raising to kiss. “Have I told you that my biggest fear is losing you…and that I love you deeper than anything else I could,” he said like it was a goodbye.

Feliciano giggled, “everything is going to be fine.” He raised a hand to caress dearly at the side of his face.

A sudden outburst of Augusto flailing his arms upwards, shouting in demand brought Feliciano back to the sight of the restaurant. “I think we should be heading inside,” and he went forward.

“Right behind you,” Ludwig let himself sway in the dumbfounded love, a hand on Feliciano’s back as support as he followed right behind him.

“-my son is more than capable enough!” Reinhardt’s shout was their welcome.

“Then he would have been given more! Not left stranded to his luck!” Augusto shouted back.

“It was bankruptcy.” Aldrich joined.

“And even so, Ludwig can put up a company in a matter of months, while Feliciano will most likely stay in his same position for years on end.”

It hurt Feliciano to hear this from Reinhardt, a sudden scared grasp given to Ludwig.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all part of a scheme to get Ludwig to do everything, while Feliciano can just lay in the house without a worry to spare!” Monika gave in.

“My son has honor! He wouldn’t submit to this!” Vincenzo defended.

“He’s the one who’ll be paying for everything after all! From the looks of it, I guess it will be Ludwig staying at home expecting Feliciano to do absolutely everything!” Renata shouted the loudest, insulted.

“Let him! Ludwig will in the end overwork himself more!” Reinhard continued.

“My son will not be a servant!” Vincenzo proclaimed.

Neither couldn’t take it, Feliciano coughing to bring their attention, so all could see they were there, holding to each other tightly, wide eyed at such accusations. “What…what is going on?” Feliciano managed to ask even with the tremble.

“How long were you expecting to hide this from us?” Augusto demanded as he turned to them.

No greetings, no peace, blazing anger that wanted words of explanation before anything else.

“Sir, what do you mean?” Ludwig tried to be civil.

“Oh, don’t act dumb! We know your sick plan to run off without a coin on your backs! You expect Feliciano to do your biding while you go off and party in Santo Domingo!” Vincenzo accused loudly.

“What?...No! I wouldn’t do something like that!” Ludwig turned to the defensive.

“But you are going to!” Augusto joined.

“No! I’m not! Why would you even-”

“Don’t go shouting just at Ludwig! You haven’t addressed Feliciano’s complot to go off with Ludwig’s money when the opportunity presents itself!” Monika pointed.

“No! No! No! I would never!” Feliciano tried to even with their shouts, but they came out meek, especially as he kept his tight hold on Ludwig’s arm, now clearly afraid.

“Look! There must have been some misunderstanding. The table is ready, we can sit down and talk about this,” Ludwig pointed in the hopes they could hurry.

“Oh, Ludwig! There’s no need to defend him! You can go outright and say what is really going on!” Louis, with everyone else, seemed to block a pathway that could lead them to the table…and to some sense.

“I can, if you just let me explain!”

“Why should you? Let Feliciano do his own talking!” Augusto shouted, coming close, ready to take Feliciano to his side if he had to.

“I…I…” Feliciano was trembling now.

“He can’t even defend himself!”

“Caught him red handed!” Monika blamed.

“But I didn’t do anything!”

“You’re only making him nervous!” Renata tried to calm.

“Because it’s all exactly what he’s planning!”

“He’s not planning anything!”

“Well…technically we are…”

“So there is a plan!”

“But it’s not what you think!”

“I knew something was off with Ludwig, knew it the moment they announced they were getting married!” Vincenzo shouted on.

“Misusing of my boy’s innocence! He wants nothing but to taint him and leave him for the next offering body!” Augusto dramatized. “Feliciano, this is no way to give your virginity!”

“Nonno…I’m not a virgin.”

For some reason…those words…that brought deep flushes to the couple was the only thing that managed to bring final silence.

“…you’re not…? When…when did this happen? Who?” Augusto was truly shocked and devastated.

“Uh…” Ludwig tried to word.

“Ludwig, we don’t have to tell them anything…” Feliciano held him.

“So you won’t!” Aldrich angered.

“You’re not even letting us!”

“What excuse can you give us to defend this crazed plot?”

“It’s not a crazed plot! If you would only listen!”

“Well we don’t have to listen! We know enough! And let me say that I do not approve of it at all!” Reinhardt declared.

“Feliciano!” And here Vincenzo pulled his son back to them. “We really don’t think you should go through with the marriage! Not when Ludwig can abuse you! I’m sorry, but I must withdraw my blessing!” Vincenzo told all, standing strong in his decree.

“Papa, please! Let us explain!” Feliciano insisted, trying to let go of the harsh grip his family had on him.

“Don’t do this! You haven’t given us the chance to talk!” Ludwig tried to defend, tried to get Feliciano back, but his family brought him back with their own strong grip.

“Ludwig, it’s not worth it! I have to agree with Vincenzo, but I cannot permit such a marriage to occur. I will refuse to participate in it!” Louis said.

“Then fine! I don’t want you to participate in it!” Ludwig managed loosening, harshly moving away from them. “I will marry Feliciano even if this all some plot to take my money away!” He shouted his clarity.

“You’re willing to go through with this just so that could be the end point!” Louis shouted at him, Ludwig reaching an exasperation that was just agreeing so he could get them all to stop.

“Yes! Okay! Fine! Let Feliciano take my money, let him be a lazy ass, let him disappoint me and make a fool of himself!”

And Feliciano joined his family in the insult and disappointment. While they continued crying out, Feliciano tried not to tear at the harshness of such words. Whether they were real or not, the fact that they were a thought shone in screams along with the rest, proved enough of actuality to him.

“Feliciano, let’s just go,” and Ludwig held out his hand expecting it all nothing, no other effort or defend. He wanted to go ignorant to what happened. Feliciano angered and wanted to slap the hand away…but at the same time…he did not want to be chocked by the hold his father gave him or how the rest hovered above him like vicious animals. It seemed that he would only have an escape with Ludwig…and there was something in that idea that settled very wrongly. He briskly let his hand free, glaring at his family and deciding to get away for now, having to take the grasp of Ludwig’s hand.

“After he said all that…you’re still willing to go with him.”

Feliciano flared but tried to keep his anger away from Ludwig or his family. “He’s already taking money from me anyways, so let him be a stuck up, let him betray me and leave me alone in another country,” he spat with fury, the grip of his hand not loving, but suffocating and wanting to hurt.

Ludwig was wide eyed at the answer, fearful and broken, and Feliciano could only look away not explaining anything…as Ludwig did. Grasped still with a deadly hold, they decided on leaving, not looking back, the only sound the echo of Ludwig’s car as it drove down the street, sealing their decision for both families to take witness.

Gilbert and Lovino had not seen what happened, blissfully unaware as they spent their time in Lovino’s apartment, talking and laughing before they had to come down and show another face to the family.

“Rugrats! Of all things!”

“I didn’t want to watch some damn Regular Show!”

They fought even if with smiles and gentility, the only ounce of happiness to arrive to the somberness of what the restaurant had become. No one spoke with one another, and less they were going to sit together in this heaviness. To their surprise, Gilbert and Lovino were the only ones bringing that cheery atmosphere this dinner should have been. Yet they halted and stared in wondering, their mere gazes asking what was wrong.

“Ludwig and Feliciano left,” Monika answered.

“Already? We haven’t even started to eat!” Gilbert was incredulous.

“I…don’t think were going to eat tonight, Gilbert,” Augusto glared, a new blame for any of the Beilschmidts now.

“Ah, come on, Nonno! The cooks were going to make me a pesto pizza!” For once, Lovino was clearly disappointed.

“I’ll…go and stop them from making anything then.” And without another word, the old man turned and made his way inside the kitchen. The rest, without a single glance to meet themselves, began picking their things and one by one each left their own direction without leaving a word of explanation.

“What’s up with them?” Gilbert wondered.

Lovino shrugged, “maybe not hungry. But fuck, my pesto pizza! I was so excited!” Lovino went back to angering.

“Ah, come on, we can just go somewhere else to have it!”

“No! Nu-uh! I don’t trust anywhere else out of nonno’s restaurant. There’s a lot of fakes out there.”

“Then why not make it yourself?”

Lovino was ready to fight it, but stopped when it began to sound quite appetizing. “Ugh! It’s too late to make a pizza now!” He sadly realized.

Gilbert shrugged, “how about tomorrow then? I can come over and you can really show me how it’s done!”

“Great! How about you arrive for lunch and spend the whole day?”

Such excitement, such a good glow.

“Awesome…so…do we make it a date then?” Gilbert dared along with a smirk, a lean and a blush in his cheeks and eyes that Lovino had to look away from before he succumbed to showing himself an utter fool to those gazes.

“Yeah…fine, it’s a date…” he tried hard to pout it…but instead there came a smile that Gilbert didn’t fail to miss.

“So…be at your place by two. You’ll have everything else and I’ll…bring some beer,” he let himself twirl one of Lovino’s curls, what the other thought easing and nice.

“Nothing too shitty, please.”

“Only the best!” They chuckled and began moving away, ever so slow as they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Gilbert tried to make his exit backwards, not letting anything break the view he had of Lovino. He let himself indulge in it, smiling and waving. He used one hand to try and find the exit, but he couldn’t control his legs from bumping, tumbling and almost bringing the entire table to the ground.

“Careful!” Lovino scolded, but so gently and sweetly that Gilbert was still enamored.

“Haha, yeah, yeah…yes! I…I can do things…I can walk!”

What an adorable doofus.

“I’ll…see you tomorrow!”

“At two!”

“At two!” Gilbert promised and was off, leaving Lovino with the brightest smile in the ruins of what had just occurred.

The car ride was silent. When they arrived to Ludwig’s apartment, it was also silent. Feliciano didn’t spare a word as he went into the guest room and shut himself inside. Ludwig didn’t bother to fight him about it, he went to his own room and tried to get some sleep. He tried to not be persuaded by the empty spot beside him…the spot where he expected his sun rays to be in, where his arms will embrace it, let his own scent engulf him until he was spread himself with the sun. He turned the other way and tried hard to ignore it…he could sleep without it…he could…-by five a.m. he was already on the table, typing away on his laptop. His eyes were grey, lost on the screen, forcing himself to work, to calculate and write no matter how the anguish weight him into his seating. It was around eight that Feliciano woke…far too early for him. He was just as grey and drained, not bothering for a cup of coffee, a wash, he just took a seating in a near stool, to breathe and lost in thoughts that Ludwig couldn’t read. He forced himself to only be on his laptop, letting this silence continue to reign.

…Their mornings were never like this.

“Ludwig…” Feliciano started to speak, doubtful and fearing, “…do you really think going to Santo Domingo like this is a good idea?”

Ludwig didn’t answer so quickly, didn’t even look at him, Feliciano wondering if he had purposely ignored it…only the more reason for him to anger.

“Everything is already planned…we’ve bought everything we need, the wedding is in a couple of weeks…let’s just…go with it as it should,” he did answer, but he didn’t gaze at anything else.

“I don’t want to just…go with it!”

“Isn’t that something you’re always telling me to do…go with it!”

“Yeah, but…not like this, not after what you said last night.”

Ludwig rolled his eyes, “there was a lot of pressure…”

“So in a lot of pressure you decide to call me a thief, a lazy ass, a disappointment and a fool!”

“I didn’t exactly say those things and you know I didn’t mean it!”

“I heard it, Ludwig! You insinuated them, you thought them, you readily said everything right before your family and mine!” True pain was presented well on Feliciano now.

“You called me a stuck up, a cheater and disloyal.”

“I didn’t-”

“You did! I heard you…and right before my family and yours!” He finally raised his eyes to him, staring and hurtful, Feliciano shaking and hating that this gaze was now brought upon him.

“I…I was hurt by what you said.”

“You didn’t think I was hurt too.” More an edge was added to his tone, a cut that silenced Feliciano, twirling his fingers, looking away as he settled with this new pain.

“I really…I really didn’t mean them.”

“I didn’t mean mine either. Just forget about it…we said what our families wanted to hear and got them off our backs. We can go on.”

“By making each other go against our own families? Ludwig, despite everything, I still care for my family and I want them to keep being a part of my life…yours too.”

“We don’t need them, Feliciano. We have ourselves.”

“But-”

“Do you really want to keep people who said all those things about us?”

“Because we couldn’t explain! They didn’t know any better!”

“And this is how they respond when faced with uncertainty?”

Their voices got higher with each accusation.

“We just…we just had to keep trying. We had to fight and defend one another…” Feliciano was never one to keep himself, Ludwig knew his emotions had to always be displayed. No secrets, no hiding, his eyes reddened and already the first tears began to fall down his cheeks. He thought him beautiful still, but it scorched that they were being caused by him, while all he did was stay seated, trying to keep his eyes away, afraid to face sadness from one he always made sure to make bright.

“Why…why didn’t you stand up for me?...Why didn’t you defend? Why didn’t you try to prove them wrong?”

And yet Ludwig couldn’t face it, couldn’t let himself show how this was shredding him as well, not wanting to show his own weakness when he was too stubborn to keep his strength in the discussion.

“Feliciano…there was no need…” was somehow the only thing he could say.

“No need…no need…” he hiccupped in a heave he couldn’t withstand, those words a heavy marked realization that made him surer of a pathway he had to take. It stung when his hands reached for the ring that had been worn faithfully since the day Ludwig presented it to him in a wonderful proposal. He lunged himself with a terrible cry, knowing what he had to do, what he deserved and should stand strong for, Ludwig crumbling, wishing he could force himself to take Feliciano, but is own despair kept him seated.

The ring began to get removed in what they heard themselves a shriek, released along with a void that sucked whatever light was always present between them.

“Then I guess there’s no need for me to wear this anymore.” And it was placed on the coffee table as a token to be forgotten. “No need for a wedding…no need for us.” Feliciano didn’t bother with another glance, he picked a bag he had made and left. No other goodbye, no beautiful trace. He was gone as swiftly as a ghost, yet with a haunting that kept Ludwig stunned, the pain like the heaviest shot, the weight like a swarm of animals were on top of him, the cage the most restricting he had been in. He heaved, lost on how his movements worked…how to look, how to stand.

In this mess, in this ever clashing of emotions seeming to rampage all across Ludwig’s body, he exploded by throwing his own laptop to the ground, uncaring of pieces and what its memory of work held.

Nothing…it was all nothing…he had nothing anymore.

He pushed his hands into his eyes, ignoring the pain in favor of trying to dam the tears that already began to swarm, but in the end, in a release of breath that made him heavier, he let them coat his face how they wanted, redden him and already paint him a mess after only minutes of being left by Feliciano.

There was no perseveration to move on with his day…it seemed like it wasn’t there anymore, like there was nothing to live for and make it his.

He let himself sink in that position, determined to stay and dig himself ever deeper.

There was nothing else now.

< previous chapter

#on deutschland and italia by lovino valenti #prumano #prumano fanfiction #prumano fanfic #prumano fic #gerita

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shaekingshitup · 4 years

Text

MIRACLES HAPPEN

DAY ONE: TANGERINE

A/N: Y’ALL! I WAS DUPED! @teakturn puts out a 25 Days of Christmas every year and my dumbass said I would do it too. But I decided to add a little diversity to the culture and we’re doing a Chrismukkah adventure this year on this blog! This is picking up after this request that I got earlier this year. None of this shit is proofread because I am literally just writing by the seat of my pants so read at your own discretion. I will probably end up rewriting this entire mini series in the future. But enjoy it now. If you wanna be tagged, lmk! Also, I know that in In Sight I said there was a cure for COVID. Swap that out for a vaccine y’all. Viruses can’t be cured.

Word Count: 2300

DAY ONE: TANGERINE

December 18, 2022

“Baby you ready?!” Tre called into the house as reached into the basket on his way to the garage. He came up empty handed for the keys to his Lexus. Opening the door to the garage, he saw Sol sitting in the passenger seat of the running car.

Tre walked over to his baby as Sol smirked at him.

“You late again,” she said.

“I’m never late,” Tre said opening the door and climbing in, “You just early as always,” he shot back as he put the car in reverse. Sol playfully rolled her eyes. After two years of being together, this was always their running joke. The first time they’d met, she’d been pacing back and forth awaiting his arrival. Even after finding their own groove, she still found herself being the one waiting for him- but, he always made it worth it so it was hard for her to complain.

Tre pulled out of the driveway and clicked the remote to shut the door. Out of instinct, his hand went to Sol’s thigh when he put it in drive. “Did you grab my yarmulke?” Tre asked as he threw her a glance.

“Please don’t insult me. This ain’t my first feast Nemo.” the indignant manner which she spoke had her and Tre struggling to keep in their bouts of laughter. “Yes, baby. They’re in the backseat.”

“Good. Good. What’s the other name for them again?” Tre asked as he merged onto the nearly empty highway. A five a.m call time could be a blessing and a curse.

“Kippah” is the Hebrew word for the male cap and “kippot” is the Hebrew word for the female cap.” Sol answered on autopilot as she mused on their situation. She was still taken aback that they’d been contacted by Black Juice to begin with. She’d been following them ever since they’d done that feature with Drake talking about how his own Jewish faith influenced his career path. Although she wasn’t as active in her Jewish faith as she’d wished she’d been in recent years it was still a huge victory to be acknowledged by the leading Black Jewish media network. Okay so maybe they were the only Black Jewish media network. But that definitely meant they were in the lead! She wasn’t stupid to think that this kind of opportunity would have come without Trevante in her life. But, she wasn’t gonna knock it either.

This 8 Days of Miracles was the perfect task she needed as she figured out what the next step was for her career. Now that she’d finally finished her academic portion of her career she wasn’t sure how to proceed. So throwing herself into this project and hosting both her family and Tre’s for the holidays was the best distraction she could ask for. This time always gave her hope and made her realize that any kind of bullshit she’d put up with wasn’t in vain. It was her annual reset. New Year’s be damned. It also made her feel closer to her father and there wasn’t anyone in this world she’d loved more. At least that’s what she’d thought. She felt pressure on her thigh from the number one contender for her heart as Tre gave her a slight squeeze.

“What’s on ya mind Sunshine?” Sol looked down at his hand and couldn’t help but cheese. She still beamed every time he called her by that nickname.

“I was thinking about my dad and how proud he’d be to see me reppin his faith,” Sol said absentmindedly touching her necklace. Tre listened attentively as he grazed his thumb against her thigh in a gentle motion. “ I mean, I don’t know if he could have known that all of the years he instilled in us the value of miracles when we were children we’d still be celebrating Hanukkah after he was gone.”

“I’m sure he didn’t know.” Tre started out slowly. He honestly wasn’t even sure if she’d finished her thoughts, “But, he probably hoped you would.” The phone rang as they turned off the street and into the lot. “STEPH 👷🏿‍♀️💪🏿” flashed across the Caller ID on his dashboard. Tre clicked the answer button on his steering wheel as Sol handed him his badge to show to Nico, the Security Attendant.

“We’re at Security Steph,” Tre answered as he nodded at Nico.

“Okay good. I just wanted to make sure we were starting the day off on time.” Tre and Sol shared a glance.

“Woman don’t start with me. Call time is 5 and it’s 4:39. We don’t play that late shit over here and you know it.

“Well, I also grabbed your favorite donuts from Craft Services so no one else would steal them and I wanted to know how long I had to hoard them for your ungrateful self. I can put them back if you’d like sir,”

“Steph. You can ignore Tre.” Sol chimed in. “We appreciate you and will be walking in the door in exactly 2 minutes. Tre is parking as we speak. We’ll see you soon.”

“Tre, you lucky you have her. Keep her if you want to keep the best managent in town. Bye y’all!!” Steph sang as she hung up. Sol let out a cackle because Steph refused to be referred as anything other than a managent as Tre stood there dumbfounded at how he was being left out to dry. But he knew better than to go against two black women before he’d even finished his morning coffee. He just hopped out the whip and opened Sol’s door so she could do the same.

Once they’d gotten their morsels of food, gone through hair and makeup and snapped a few photos for Black Juice and their own social media accounts, they were back on the road headed deeper into LA. They had a cameraman in the backseat filming their every move, one car guided them to their location and another followed them as they maneuvered through the cars that were poppin up for their morning commutes. Sol was on her IG live and answering any questions that popped up about where they were headed and her Hanukkah festivities. She watched as the number quickly jumped from 5,000 viewers to 13,000 and counting. She wasn’t sure what this many people were doing up at this hour but she wasn’t complaining. Tre’s mama was of course one of them. He was a mama’s boy through and through and she was always there to support him at any opportunity she could. Sol made sure to greet her specifically. Tre bopped his head to some Jill Scott- being careful not to let his yarmulke fall. Sol sipped some hot cocoa from her thermos and sang off key with him. As soon as they turned on a residential street, she felt awash in a new warmth that the hot chocolate couldn’t touch. She shook Tre’s arm enthusiastically.

“It’s time!!” she beamed, “Are you ready?!” Tre chuckled at her immediate change in attitude. The car in front was already parked and the camera crew was out on the sidewalk.

“Yes Sol. I’m ready to spread some holiday cheer. Let’s go make somebody’s day he said. Before Tre could even put the car in park, she was reaching for the handle”

“AHT AHT AHT” Tre barked out loud causing the cameraman man in the backseat to jump,“ Tre was already exiting the driver’s side and pointed his finger at her as he crossed in front of the car “Don’t even try it.” Sol rolled her eyes and pouted as she waited the few seconds for him to open her door.

“Thanks Tre,” she stuck out her tongue. She was like a kid in a candy store and was ready to full out sprint to the front door. The IG live comments were flying.

Okay Daddy Tre! I need a mans to talk to me like that. 🥵🥵

Did this man just bark at her? 🐶

Loook so long as he handles this backdoor he can open any other door that he pleases sis!

Y’all females is wylin as usual.

Sol glanced at them. “Imma need y’all to stay out of grown folks’ business and just enjoy this holiday work we are puttin in okay” She handed her phone to another crew member and grabbed Tre’s hand to drag him to the front door.

She pushed the button for the doorbell but no sound rang out. Tre gave three succinct raps on the door and heard someone rushing down the stairs. The door was flung open by a woman in black slacks and a blinding blue polo emblazoned with a nametag that ironically labeled this young woman as “Tangerine”. She couldn’t be more than 25 years old and the toddler saddled on her hip only added to her youthful appearance.

“Hi Tangerine,” Tre began, “My name’s Trevante and this is Sol,” he gestured to Sol at his side.

“Hi?” Tangerine answered confused at this couple and the cameras that followed them.

“We’re here today with Black Juice, a local Black organization that highlights the experience of the Black Jewish community and we’re doing 8 Days of Miracles,”

“Okay..” Tangerine said not sounding any less confused. “ I’m not Jewish.” Sol took over as she could tell that Tre’s efforts weren’t getting them anywhere.

“We’re here because your friend Kira sent in a letter telling us about how great of a mother you are. She said that you’ve been working two jobs here to support you and your daughter.” At this, Sol smiled at the baby, “She told us that the second job you have is for daycare expenses alone. We wanted to come out here today and let you know that we see what you do and how hard you go to make sure you give your daughter the best. So, we wanted to help you out and give you this. “ Tre gave her the envelope he had in his hand. It read “Day 1: Tangerine”

Tangerine took the envelope as Tre explained. “We’ve paid for your daughter’s child care for the next two years so you can give yourself a break.” She opened the envelope to see the receipt from Tiny Tots Kindercare and didn’t even know what to do.

“I don’t know what to say.” She paused for a moment as what this truly meant registered in her mind. “I can quit this job and actually spend more time with my baby and focus on my candles.”

“Your candles?” Sol asked.

“Yeah. I make candles by hand. I took a few classes and have played with a few scents. Some friends have asked me to make them some and I’ve been waitin to be a little more secure with my money before I start at it.” she answered exhaling deeply.

“Do you have any candles right now?” Tre asked peeking a little further in her apartment. Sol slapped his arm.

“Could you be any nosier?” she chastised with love.

“Yeah I have some. Do you mind holding Layla?” she asked but she practically threw the child into Sol’s arms as she ran to grab her stash of candles. Sol put on her sweetest voice and spoke to Layla about how old she was and if she liked her friends at daycare. When her mom came back Sol could see the sheer joy that she had when showing off her handiwork.

Tangerine went through all six of her candles and their various scents with them and by the end Tre had bought each one. She was floored and couldn’t do anything but cry at the way her morning was turning around. It wasn’t even 7:30 and she’d already gotten 2 years of childcare, a reason to quit her grocery store job and someone who actually wanted to buy her candles.

Before they left, Tre made her promise to hit him up when her site and IG were live so he could get more candles and share it with all of his friends. Sol returned Layla to her mother saying her goodbyes and grabbed Tre’s hand to head back to car. She leaned on his shoulder and he could see the contentment in her eyes. Sol almost forgot her phone before a crewmember handed it back.

She came back to the IG Live trying not to get too emotional. “Look at that y’all! Day one of Hanukkah is off to a start and we’ve already proved that miracles happen! Y’all better stay tuned in over the next week so you can see who we pop in on next. You never know if it could be you! Thanks to Black Juice for giving us this opportunity to turn someone’s ordinary day into something smile about. Y’all betta check them out so you can see the full footage of what we’ve got goin on! Bye y’all!

“Bye y’all!” Tre called out. They answered a few more questions with Black Juice, said their goodbyes and climbed back into their car.

“Can we go back to bed now?” Tre asked as he pulled back onto the main road and his hand founds Sol’s thigh again. Sol laughed.

“I mean if that’s what you prefer we can. I had some other things in mind.” she suggested.

Tre raised his eyebrow. “I swear you see one baby and you always go 0 to 100”

“Look, I just believe in practicing all aspects of having a child! Even the making part.”

Tre threw his head back laughing. “I’m wit it babygirl”

DING!

“That’s me” Sol said. She looked at her phone screen. A text from “Mama Rhodes” popped up. She’d sent some Pinterest looking bible verse again.

This was the third one this week. It dampened her mood immediately and caused her to groan. The text read:

Seeing you with that little girl made me so happy for the good Christian grandbabies that you and Tre will be blessing me with in the future. I thank Jesus for the miracle of you and my baby everyday XO.

“Tre, I got another one from your mom. When are you gonna talk to her?”

Tre sighed. “I promise. I’ll talk to her soon and it will definitely be before your Chrismukkah Extravaganza. Don’t sweat it baby.”

Sol did her best not to think about how pushy his mother was being about this raising Christan grandbabies nonsense ever since they announced they’d be partnering with Black Juice. All she could do is trust Tre and do what she was best at: wait.

---------------

@ghostfacekill-monger @thadelightfulone

#trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes fanfiction #trevante rhodes x oc #shaekingspeaks #25 days of christmas challenge #25 days of christmas #im going to bed now #chrismukkah #hanukkah #I WILL DO SETH COHEN PROUD #okay bye

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captain-s-rogers · 4 years

Text

Southern Style

(gif credit to the creator)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Word Count: 1,347 Warnings: none Square Filled: Road Trip AU Song: Southern Style - Darius Rucker A/N: Another square for @marvelfluffbingo 2020! This is a rewrite of a fic I have previously posted on my Supernatural blog (@d-s-winchester) so don’t come at me about plagiarism and shit. It’s my writing and I’m allowed to tweak it and repost it however I’d like. As always a HUGE thank you to the best bestie around @arrowsandmixtapes for looking over my stuff and making sure it isn’t terrible. If you want to be added to my tag list please let me know! Feedback is cool :)

Chris adjusted himself in his seat as the interviewer got ready to ask the next question. All of the questions thus far had been about the new movie and Captain America so he knew the next few questions would be about you. They hadn’t touched on his relationship yet.

“How did you feel when Y/N finally agreed to go out with you? Was it different than when she said yes when you proposed?”

Chris let out a laugh.

“It wasn’t different at all, really,” he smiled, “both times I couldn’t contain my excitement. I kind of let out a little enthusiastic ‘yes’.”

The interviewer laughed before asking her next question.

“Can you give us some details on your relationship since the wedding is right around the corner?”

“That depends on what you want to know.”

“Anything,” the interviewer prompted, “everything.”

“That’s easy,” he smiled.

He smiled at the memories of you that flooded his mind. It was almost like he was lost in a dream as he went on to describe your relationship, this was the first time he’d went into such detail.

Chris wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you. He’d ended up in Georgia on an unexpected road trip. Something he impulsively decided to do. He got in his car and just drove, destination unknown, in an attempt to clear his head, get some of his thoughts together and figure out if the prospects in front of him were really what was best for him. The anxiety he was feeling over the possibility of taking the role of Captain America was plaguing him and he just couldn’t shake it. He knew it would be huge for his career and that was great but the toll it would take on his personal life and his privacy, something he loved, was one of the large factors making him lean toward declining the role.

He’d been driving for hours, his head no clearer than it was the moment he climbed into the car, when he finally crossed the state line into Georgia. Realizing he hadn’t eaten in hours had him pulling off at the first exit he found and parking his car at the first diner he saw. He was still uncertain what direction his life was going to go in but the moment he set foot in that diner he had a feeling his entire life was going to change -- and it had nothing to do with his career.

“Can I start you off with a drink?” you asked with a bright smile and a southern drawl and immediately he was taken by you.

“Uh, water is fine,” he smiled, composing himself.

In his opinion you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. You weren’t wearing much makeup and he knew you didn’t need it. You’d brought him his water and he placed his order. Throughout the rest of his meal he’d flirted with you more than he’d care to admit but it paid off because he’d left that diner with your number. That moment he decided that maybe Georgia was the place to spend some time and really figure out what he wanted.

Two days later he was taking you out to dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in town. You were dressed in a sundress and sandals, perfect for the warm summer weather and he thought you looked incredible. It was a perfect first date as far as he was concerned, ending with him walking you to your front door and a sweet first kiss goodnight.

Over the next few weeks of his impromptu, indefinite, getaway the two of you spent all of your free time together. He’d come to realize that you had a lot in common. He learned you loved to read and were very well read, you were pretty adventurous when it came to food and you enjoyed to spend as much time as possible outdoors – whether that be at the beach or hiking. He learned that you loved to travel but didn’t really have the time to do so because of your job.

He came to find that you were the picture of perfection and the perfect real life adaptation of a true Southern Belle. That night you were both lying on a blanket on the beach on the lake when he learned that you wanted your father and two brothers to walk you down the aisle. He learned that you were a fan of classic rock and preferred oysters to clams.

Every minute he spent with you he was falling more and more in love and when it came time for him to leave he was reluctant to go. The studio was begging him for an answer and he had put it off long enough. After spending so much time with you he realized that taking the role was really what he wanted. He wanted to live his life to its fullest, have no regrets and take any opportunity given to him -- and this was the biggest opportunity yet.

When you walked with him to his car the day he decided to leave you assured him more than once that you would be waiting for him when he decided to pass through again. As he opened the door and climbed behind the wheel he promised you he would never just pass through, that every time he set foot in that small Georgia town it would be to see you.

He made good on his promise, flying out to see you whenever he had off, and when he couldn’t come to you he flew you out to Boston or LA to see him. After going through that for almost a year it came time for him to meet your parents. Even though he was nervous your laid back nature made him that much more comfortable. Your parents loved him and he loved them. By the time the visit was over he had made the second biggest decision of his life. He’d made the decision that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

It was only a few months later that you’d uprooted your life and moved in with him in his house in California. After that your life seemed to shift. Due to your new location you had the opportunity to pursue your dream of becoming a photographer. Your life was taking a turn for the best and you were more than grateful.

Five months after you’d moved in with Chris he took a short trip to see your father. Once Chris had his blessing he took you out to dinner and asked you to be his wife. He couldn’t imagine his life without you and frankly, you couldn’t imagine your life without him. You accepted enthusiastically and immediately began the wedding planning.

With just a few days to go until the actual event you were in a frenzy. As stressful as it was you were more than excited about the wedding and the rest of your life with Chris.

“We’re both really excited,” Chris finished his recount.

“Sounds like you really love her,” the interviewer smiled.

“I do,” Chris grinned, “Y/N is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Walking into the diner that day was the best decision I’ve ever made. My life would be completely different if I’d picked somewhere else to eat. That diner and the state of Georgia hold a special place in my heart.”

“With good reason,” the interviewer smiled, “I wish you both the best of luck, though I don’t think you’ll need it.”

Chris thanked her and smiled. Once the interview was over he went home to you, more than happy that seeing you in the kitchen making dinner – an apron tied around your waist – was what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life. He wasn’t lying when he told the interviewer that walking into that diner that day changed his life. It not only changed his life, it gave him everything he’d ever wanted.

@arrowsandmixtapes @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @growningupgeek @phoenixfyre374 @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @captain-rogers-beard @patzammit @what-is-your-plan-today @sagechanoafterdark @kitkatd7

#chris evans #marvelfluffbingo #chris evans x reader #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fan fic #reader x chris evans

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demivampirew · 4 years

Text

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 8

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Triggers: smut

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185

You were glad that you picked a big bag and that you brought enough clothing for at least another day. You didn't want to overstay your welcome, but there was like an invisible force dragging you to him. You wanted to be near him as much as you could. He didn't ask you to stay and you were a little afraid to ask. "If you asked, he's probably going to say yes...but, would it be because he wants to or because he's polite?" you asked yourself. You put on some jeans and a green sweater and the boots you were the day before -luckily, you choose a pair of boots that looked good with everything and were really comfortable- and then went to the kitchen to have breakfast with Henry. When you got there, he had prepared you waffles and tea and he prepared himself some meat among other things that his diet required. You ate the delicious breakfast while you were talking about the show and that he started filming that week. After breakfast, he asked you what you wanted for lunch and dinner and you couldn't help yourself but smile brightly. - What? - he asked you curiously and amused - I didn't know if you wanted me to stay another day and I didn't want to ask, it did not seem appropriate. - you replied and he looked at you confused. - For now on always assume that I want you to stay. I think you should check out of the hotel and stay here as long as you are in London. -he said as he approaches you and stroked your face and kissed you. - I'm going to do some grocery shopping today, you should come with me and then we go to the hotel so you can pick up your stuff and let the hotel receptionist know that you're leaving, ok? I mean, only if you want to. -Absolutely- you answered; you couldn't contain your happiness. Thankfully, Henry knew exactly all the right places to go shopping without worrying about getting recognized. He bought enough foodstuff for three days. After that, you went to the hotel. Thankfully, you let the receptionist know that you were leaving early and there was no problem and she was nice enough to allow you to take Kal to the suit too. Thankfully, you didn't have much work to do. You hated unpacking in hotel rooms, so most of your belongings were in your suitcases. You went to the bathroom to make sure there were no items left and after that, the two of you left with your three big suitcases and your guitar -you never went anywhere without one-. You carry two bags and hang your guitar on your shoulder. Henry wanted so badly to play the gentleman and handled all by himself, but had to admit that he needed a free hand to carry Kal's leash. He also tried to carry my guitar, but his arms were too big and the case's straps were too tight and didn't fit him. You laughed because he was the cutest thing in this world. While Henry was preparing dinner, you were trying to unpack your clothes but keep getting interrupted by Kal who wanted you to play with him. Your phone rang as you were petting the puppy and you saw your agent's name in the id caller. - Hi Bri! How are you? - you said as soon as you answer the call - Hi y/n! I'm great! How are you doing? - Much better. London it's been great. It's been a blessing coming here. - Yeah, I bet coming has been a blessing.- he replied and you notice by the tone of his voice that he was making a double sense comment. -Who told you? - you asked irritated but laughing a bit for the stupid comment. - Beth. Don't blame her, she thought that I'd already known. So, you and Superman. - Yep. - Are you dating? Or just hooking up? - Somewhere in between. We like each other a lot and we like to spend time together, but for the moment that's all. We'll see, there's no rush. - Well...so I'm not sure then how are you going to take the news that I got for you. - What news? - you questioned worriedly - I got the date for the audition for the movie. - OMG! That's great!- you exclaimed excitedly. - It's in four days. So I need your ass in a plane to LA as soon as possible if you want to make it in time. - you had to sit on the bed as you heard the news. Four days? Things were just starting with Henry and you already had to leave him to go back to LA. You couldn't miss the audition, it was the opportunity that you've waiting for, working again with your friend Anne Hathaway and finally getting to work with your idol, with the great Meryl Streep. You wanted to ask Henry to go to LA with you, but you knew that wasn't even a possibility, not just because you'd never dare to ask him to do something like that for you, it was too much to ask, and also he started to film the second season of The Witcher that week. So you knew that you would have to leave him for a few days to audition. Kal must have felt your sadness because he started to make noises and caressing your hand with his head. After the call ended, with Brian letting you know that he was going to booked the plane ticket for you, and with you asking him to allow you to have that last night with Henry before leaving, so he promised to get it for the next day and he informed you that he was going to send you via mail the script that you had to learn for the audition. You went to the kitchen and saw Henry cooking a delicious dinner. You couldn't look into his face, so you hugged him from behind, put your face on his back and sigh, then slightly turn your face to the side, still resting your head on his body, and told him the news. You could feel his body get tensed. He was upset as well. He turned around, you could see that he was sad but doing his best to hide it from you. -It'd be just four a few days, right? It's ok!- he said as he placed his forehead on yours, and you weren't sure if he was talking to you or himself. -Yes. I have the audition in four days and I'll probably stay there for a few days to take care of a few things and to see my bff, but then I'll be back, I promise. Besides, I'm looking to move here, remember? So of course that I'm coming back.- you assure him. He cupped your face with his hands and kissed you and then hugged you. -This is our last night together for a few days, let's make it count, should we? - Couldn't agree more! - he smiled at you and grabbed your hand to kiss it. - I have a special surprise for you tonight- you said playfully. - Oh, really? -he asked amused -Yes, but I need to ask you to do something for me tonight. - Whatever you want me to, just tell me. - Could you... wear a suit? - your question and gave him an not so innocent look. - Yeah...why?- he asked curiously. -For now, that's all you need to know. After the tasteful dinner, you chat for some time and then you excused yourself to go to the bathroom to refresh yourself. You indicated Henry that you were going to text him to let him know when you were ready and he could enter the room. He put on a dark grey suit with a shirt underneath and a nice pair of shoes. After waiting for half an hour, he got the text from you saying that was ok to enter the room. As soon as he got into the room, he turned on the lights, that was off. And there you were, sitting on the edge of the bed, with your legs crossed, wearing a red silk robe that looked more like a dress than a robe; it was slightly opened on the top, so a red lace bra that you had on was visible. You picked up your hair in a middle ponytail and looked amazing with the curls. Your make up was quite simple but perfect, barely any eyeshadow, mascara, foundation and the most important of all, a vibrant red colour lipstick. You could see it on his face, he completely lost it as soon as he saw you. - I've been waiting for you, Mr. Bond. - you said in a serious tone. He looked confused. - I know why you are here. You're looking for this - you took a small pen drive that was hidden on your bra- You want this, don't you, Mr. Bond? - you questioned continuing with the game. Finally, Henry understood what was going on and followed your lead, smoothly getting closer to you and trying to take the device from your hand, but it was too late, you had hidden it again.- I'm not giving it up so easily...if you want it, you'll have to earn it- you implied and starred at him with a devilishly look. He looked at you with desired, but annoyed like if he didn't have time for that, he was truly getting into the role. You grabbed his face with your left hand and licked his right cheek and then whisper into his ear - I've heard that you're even better as a lover than as a spy- you said and smiled. After a second of looking intensely into each other's eyes, he picked you up by your thighs and put you against a wall, and started to kiss your neck and your breasts. You stopped him and pull him away from you. You were smirking as you told him that you were the one that set the rules. He pulled himself up and gave you an annoyed look, waiting for instructions. - Go to the and lay on it. Don't take off your clothes. you ordered him and he obeyed you. Once he was resting on the bed, you took two silk scarfs and used them to tight his hands on each side of the bed. Then you got on top of him and put a black scarf on his head, covering his eyes. You whispered on his ear "my rules: you can't see or touch" and you laughed. Then, you begin to run your fingers through his body. You unbuttoned his shirt and started kissing his chest and taking small bites, not too deep to hurt him. You liked his lips and the placed your finger on top of them, feeling them. You reached his pants and unzipped them and then grabbed his member by the side, still with his underwear on and the past your tongue through it. You look at his face and you could see the anger; he was furious, he was a loud lover, he already wanted to scream of pleasure, but probably felt like that was not something Bond would do. For some reason, that sense of desperation turned you on even more. You took off his shoes and the rest of the clothing getting in the way. You grabbed his penis and put it into your mouth. You liked up and down, in circles around the top. You made sure he felt your lips surround him and then you went deep into the base of his cock. He tried hard not to make a noise, but it was getting harder and harder for him. You could feel him on your throat and then slowly took him out and continue the same rhythm than before. You repeated the same thing once again and then started to kiss his chest again. You also planted kisses on his Adam's apple. You took the scarf that was covering his eyes and he looked at you. For a little moment, you could see Henry, thirsty for you, wanted to take you so bad, and then you saw Bond again; he has enjoyed the game you came up with, maybe a little too much. You grabbed his hard member a put it inside of put, pulling your panties aside. You started to ride him. You saw him battle a few times to set his hands free, but couldn't. Finally, after a while, you decided to set him free. He stood up and you looked at him. "This isn't over, Mr. Bond. If you want this, you'll have to go all the way through" you exclaimed. You stood up and went after him and he turned around and grabbed you and put you against the wall. He tossed your panties away and grabbed one of your legs and put it on his shoulder as he went down on you. He took his time to pleasure you with his tongue and the made you turn around and bend slightly and he fucked you hard against the wall. Then, he was penetrating you hard against the wall, while he grabbed you by your thighs. After he came, he went down on you again. -Take it, you earned it.-you said handed him the pen drive. It was a pleasure Mr. Bond. I hope this is not the last time we made business together.- you finished and winked at him and then went into the bathroom. Well, for sure this was a night Henry will never forget.

#henry cavill #fanfiction #demivampirew #henry cavill x reader

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pkmnjesus · 5 years

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⏪ P J’s PokéAni Rewind 2019

Hello, yes I’m still alive for those wondering or care at all :] Just been taking an indefinite leave from all my social media accounts (though you can still see me on Discord: PokémonJesus#2495) since mid-November going through some personal self-discovery journey...nobody misses me anyways. I’ll address that maybe in a future post, but let’s not make this about me...because RIGHT NOW it is time for my 4th annual year-end (and favorite) Tumblr tradition! 2019 was a stressful year for me personally (as you can tell I’ve been on and off here), and I appreciate all of the friends I’ve made within this fandom who’ve stuck with me through it. It was also the year of the successful launch of my new PokéAni exclusive side-blog @pokeaniepisodes where I would do my weekly episode blogging/screen-caps/GIFs for the #pokeani tag. Within the span of 10 months, I would gain over 1,000 followers! Thank you to those who have followed me there as well. Obviously due to my current circumstances, that has been put on halt as well after Sun & Moon ended. Apologies, but I’ll be back in 2020 hopefully. As for PokéAni, it was bittersweet as we bid Alola farewell with the Sun & Moon series ending heading into the next generation series. If you’re curious to hear what I have to say about the new series, well here’s your post! The Pokémon anime has officially wrapped up for this year with Ash & Go in the Hoenn region earlier today, in where he WON another tournament showing Go how it’s done! But now, it is time to highlight some of the best episodes (this post will be following the original Japanese release dates, but will still be using the English/game dub names for a universal understanding by all) I personally found noteworthy from each month. Without further ado, let’s take a look back at what the Pokémon anime had to offer in 2019. 1, 2, 3. LET’S GO!

JANUARY - Hello Hapu

The Poni Island adventures begin! And also, the road to Ash’s final grand trial to complete. This mini-arc started a very fun series of character-centric episodes among the main cast and their Pokémon while they were in the island without Professor Kukui’s guidance. From Sophocles’s Charjabug evolving to a Vikavolt, and Lana’s Popplio evolving to Brionne (plus getting Primarium Z!). But the highlight out of all of this was the character arc of the soon-to-be Poni Island Kahuna, Hapu! She was a stubborn trainer who didn’t want to interact with anyone or battle Ash. She eventually opened up to him and his friends slowly after getting back her stolen radishes from Team Skull (the first appearance of Plumeria as well). She was a key figure on the class’ expedition throughout Poni for their respective research projects, while Tapu Fini and her late grandfather keep an eye on her progress. Eventually when she did became Kahuna, Ash finally had his rightful battle with her for a grand trial. She didn’t gain only a new set of confidence, but a new set of friends too.

FEBRUARY - Mama Mallow makes us cry

As the group continues doing their personal research projects in Poni Island, and after Kiawe clears his own trial with Tapu Fini, we get a feels trip to Mallow’s past. Thanks to Tapu Fini’s mysterious mist that allows people to see the departed, Mallow relives her childhood days with her mother. We not only get a teary backstory of what Mallow said to her ill mother before passing away, but also Lillie & Gladion’s attempt to see their “deceased” father, Mohn. Mallow seeking proper closure, finally reunites with her mother in the mist as they spend as much time catching up with one another ever since their improper argument at the hospital. We then discovered that Bounsweet was actually caught by her mom before gifting it to Mallow as her first Pokémon...who is now a fully evolved Tsareena. There were a lot of good moments like seeing the Stoutland that (as if this wasn’t enough of a feels trip) help raised Ash’s Torracat when it was still a Litten, and that Mohn is nowhere to be found in the mist meaning that he’s still alive! Stoutland’s final gift to Torracat was upgrading its Ember move to eventually learning to use Fire Blast. But the most important thing about this episode, is that it teaches us to be grateful to our parents (or those who raised us) even when it looks like they don’t seem to care, we misunderstand and overlook how much they truly care for us. Never take things for granted and live in the moment. In the end, Mallow’s mom gave her one final gift before going back to the afterlife, a Shaymin to care for. Thanks mom :’)

MARCH - Ya boi is never too late!

All we can just say when he was first announced was...finally...or about time! Team Skull boss Guzma’s long awaited appearance in the Pokémon anime happened when he and the rest of his gang visited the Pokémon School to confront Professor Kukui. After hearing about the official announcement that the first Alola League was going to happen, Guzma is determined to eliminate everything for what it stands for. Meanwhile, everyone in Alola wanted to get in on the action for an opportunity to become a champion, that includes Ash who stood up to Guzma for Kukui. After wiping the floor with Team Rocket, Guzma battles Ash taking interest with his utilization of the Z-Power Ring. Despite newly perfecting Corkscrew Crash, it had almost no damage on Guzma’s Golisopod. As the battle rages on, Golisopod’s Emergency Exit activates when Pikachu starts to get an upper hand. A stubborn Guzma not wanting to admit what really happened leaves and berates Ash as he sends a clear message on his vow to destroy the Alola League. Guzma and Kukui went face-to-face before Team Skull left, and it’s clear that his intentions were more personal. There’s always a reason behind of it all, and Guzma was seeking for vengeance.

APRIL - Mohn is missing

After discovering that their father may still be alive (as mentioned in my February highlight), Lillie and her family are searching for answers with the help of the Aether Foundation. Lusamine then confesses to her kids about an Ultra Wormhole incident that caused Mohn to disappear. As they continue to get more info, they stumble upon Mohn’s room and discovered two very important treasures. A Z-Ring which he used to wear, and a Magearna that doesn’t seem to be responsive. Lillie decides to wear and use her Z-Ring until her father is found, while also finding away to bring the Magearna he left back to life. With the blessing of Kahuna Hala and her friends’ support, she deicides to finally put her Icium-Z to good use by practicing the Subzero Slammer Z-move with Snowy now that she finally has a Z-Ring at hand. She fails at her first attempt, it won’t keep her down from practicing until she gets it right. The episode ends on a very touching note with Lillie reading an entry from her father’s old journal revealing that Mohn did in fact bought an inactive Magearna in hopes to restore it to give it to his one and only daughter as a gift <3

MAY - Lana’s lure of fate

In one of my personal favorite episodes (totally not because she’s my favorite and the best girl), I got shut up for even doubting that her Brionne would evolve this soon (don’t you just hate it when anime previews spoil?). Lana finally decides to make her dream a reality (referenced in previous episodes) to hook a Kyogre at sea! With the help of Ash, they were able to track down a Kyogre that suddenly appeared while the class were fishing. When they discovered that the Kyogre had been poisoned by Pokémon hunters, Lana decides to cure it with an antidote hooked to a special Misty lure she had been given while Ash deals with the troublemakers. Even after curing the poison, the hunters attempting to catch Kyogre made it rage even more. Lana tries to save it by trying to hook him out of the Hunter’s capturing device. She was successful in freeing it but ended up dragging her to the ocean rapidly as a storm develops from an angered Kyogre. And it was at that moment when Brionne wanted to save her trainer from getting dragged all over, evolving to Primarina was the only way to end this perfect storm. Primarina’s singing calmed down Kyogre, as Lana lifts up her rod graciously with Kyogre in the sky. Dream achieved, and a moment has been made with new sea friend. Now when Lana tells this story, it’s actually the truth and there will be no one laughing now! Later on another episode, Lana & Primarina would learn how to use and master the Oceanic Operatta Z-move, and it’s all thanks to the hook of this Kyogre. I’m sure Misty is proud as well :)

JUNE - Kid Kukui and Little Litten

There’s a Celebi in this episode...you know what that means. Back to the past! While Ash was training with his Pokémon for the Alola League, a Celebi stumbles upon them and transport Ash & Torracat to the same place where they were at, but only many years ago. They meet this little kid that had Litten with him and it was clearly obvious that his was younger Kukui and his (The Masked Royal’s) Incineroar who hasn’t evolved yet. However, Ash still had no idea he was in the past and treated little Kukui like any other kid he’d meet traveling. The two bond throughout the episode with their similar attitude when it comes to battling, and Ash gladly guided the little kid on executing Z-moves with their Pokémon. The two even worked together assisting a Totem Trevenant in sheltering all the nearby Pokémon as a rainstorm approaches. Thanks to the good heart of Ash helping out everyone, he receives his own Firium Z from the same Trevenant that gave Kukui his Firium Z. He eventually gets back to his timeline where it seemed to have an effect on the present day Kukui. If it wasn’t for that meeting, maybe the professor would’ve had his vision of forming an Alola Pokémon League if it wasn’t for that mysterious older boy he met with his Torracat. A Pokémon time paradox? Maybe...but what I loved about this story is that it repeats itself for the next episode but from the perspectives of Ash’s Pokémon that were left behind in hopes of finding their trainer. Really reminds me of that time Pokémon got separated from their trainers during S.S. Anne arc in the original series, only difference is that the perspectives of the trainers and Pokémon were happening at the same time. But you gotta love a pure whacky Pokémon adventure! Pretty much like a Pikachu short you see before movies.

JULY - Let the League begin!

The moment everyone has been waiting for...the Alola League has officially begun! With everyone prepared to unleash their Z-Power, it’s time for the qualifying round to start. Unlike previous Leagues, this starts off with a free-for-all Battle Royal with a total of 151 competitors but only 16 will advance to the next round. Most of the trainers in this League are recognizable characters if you have watched Sun & Moon in its entirety up to this point. From Mina to Kahili to Acerola to the entire Team Skull gang to Hiroki and even Pikala, every Alola character is here! While all the Island Kahunas serves as the officials for the event. It was fun way to kick-off a 4-month long League arc and they couldn’t have it done any other way. The top 16 has been decided and it gave us good match-ups to follow in the next couple of episodes such as, Mallow vs. Lana, a childhood friend clash which also tests Mallow’s courage in battling. Our favorite Team Rocket duo in disguise facing off against one another (can’t remember when was the last time we saw that). A sibling battle and a trial on how far Lillie has gone as a Pokémon trainer facing off against her strong big brother, Gladion. And of course, the friendly birby rematch between Ash and Hau. The line-up of matches is stacked! I could not remember how hyped I was for this long-awaited League arc. Some battles might’ve been short and quick, but every participant mattered! How can you not love the Sun & Moon series?

AUGUST - The Alola Final Four

And then, there were four. In the semi-finals bracket, we first have Gladion facing off against Kiawe who defeated Acerola and bested a friend in Sophocles. He’s pretty much the dark horse in this, but he’s been working hard all series with his battling to get to this point. As Lillie and Mimo (Hoshi) cheer on their big brothers, it was Gladion who got the upper hand and the two exchange in a very meaningful handshake of sportsmanship. Meanwhile on the other side of the semi-finals, Guzma, who blasted through Ilima and Lana, getting his rematch with Ash seeking for retribution after his soft defeat the last time they faced off. It was a clash of personalities as the Team Skull boss vows to get to Kukui by destroying someone who resembles him in Ash and get a big W for his fellow Team Skull outcasts. This battle was more than just advancing through the semi-finals but also the integrity of what the League will become if Guzma is successful in his ploy. Guzma was very aggressive during this match to the point of even scolding his Golisopod. But when you mad, you don’t focus well and that became Guzma’s downfall eventually resulting in his defeat against Ash who battled with his heart. Guzma had to learn the hard way, maybe softened his mindset a bit, but even after losing Plumeria and the rest of the grunts still want to be by his side improving their own skills in battle to be like their fearless leader. You never see a heartwarming ending for a “villainous” team in Pokémon before, but I think Team Skull had their own happy ending.

SEPTEMBER - The “Curse” is finally broken

Ash vs. Gladion. Here we go, the League finals to determine the inaugural champion of Alola. I mean I already made solo-post last September about how BIG this episode/moment was for our capped hero. Their rivalry has been amazing from the get-go. From their first meeting at the beach by Kukui’s place with a feisty Rockruff that wanted to battle, to the Manalo Stadium battling for a prestigious championship title with Ash’s Lycanroc fully controlled over its rage with dirt. It wasn’t a full battle, but 3-on-3 showdown served us one heck of battle! It may not be considered the best by many, but it was still an amazing and fun bout between two trainers who promised each other to meet in the finals of the big stage. The laugh they shared, the flashbacks that was shown to us (with the awesome Type: Wild! music playing in the background), and the storytelling of who wants it more makes you get to the edge of your seat, cheering for Ash to finally win a major Pokémon League. Ash’s newly evolved Melmetal showcased it’s new strength but still wasn’t able to beat Gladion’s Silvally. Then, when Zoroark and Pikachu knocked each other out, it was the 1v1 Lycanroc battle that really put this friendly and competitive rivalry full circle.

Ash has NEVER defeated Gladion...until this moment. He’s been training for this, and it finally paid off. The two Lycanroc’s took no prisoners and went back and forth with one another. In the final blow of that match, Gladion’s Lycanroc used Counter against Ash’s Lycanroc that was charging towards it, but then our big brained hero fights back with their own Counter attack. Never have I heard of Countering a Counter in the Pokémon universe, but using it in this one moment nobody expects, it was the HYPEST way to swerve fans from almost losing the match but ultimately gave an epic counterattack that would knock out Gladion’s Lycanroc. And for the first time since the Orange League, Ash is a Champion. Only this time it is a way bigger deal! Mostly because this is a game-based series which has more meaning when it comes to the Pokémon League.

Old fans, new fans, and casual viewers a like were buzzing within 24 hours after this episode released in Japan that caught mainstream media attention. People who have never seen a Pokémon anime episode in their life (or a subbed episode for that matter) past the original series, wanted to see how this episode went down to see a childhood hero achieve a major trophy. This is how big of a pop-culture icon Ash & Pikachu was among many generations of fans since the show’s launch internationally. This was truly THE PokéAni moment of 2019. Again, big congratulations to our Alola Champion, Ash Ketchum/Satoshi! Too bad Guzzlord had to ruin the closing ceremony afterparty...

OCTOBER - A fiery full final battle

So after becoming Alola Champion, sending three Guzzlords back to where they came from, reuniting with Poipole who evolved into a Naganadel, and The Masked Royal’s identity publicly revealed as Professor Kukui ALL IN THE SAME NIGHT! We finally get our exhibition match between Ash and The Masked Royal, who would like to go under his real identity. This is the final battle, and the promised reward the first Alola Champion gets. This is honestly also reward to the fans giving us one final hoorah for the Alola region with a full 6-on-6 Pokémon battle! I believe this is the only full battle we got to see in Alola and it was definitely worth the anticipation and surprise. Kukui had a lot of secret Pokémon up his sleeve that the viewers don’t know about (unless you get spoiled by freakin’ Oha Suta), and it is also the first and only official battle that Naganadel will be part of under Ash’s team. So the excitement levels of this fun 5-PART episode battle were off the roof! Kukui had amazing Pokémon that he kept a secret, but what I do want to focus in this spotlight is the showdown between Incineroar and Torracat. Just like with the Lycanroc duel, these two have similar stories with Torracat never being able to beat The Masked Royal/Kukui’s Incineroar. Ever since it was still a Litten, the desire to battle strong opponents still burns inside. As the two fiery cats clash in this epic battle, both sides have the same intensity when receiving and taking attacks.

As the battle worn out, both Kukui and Ash activated their Z-Rings together to use Inferno Overdrive against each other. After a gigantic explosion from the Z-move collision it was Torracat who was the last Pokémon standing finally beating its personal battle rival. After a victory screech, I was surprised as everyone seeing it fully evolve into Incineroar. Unfortunately, that evolution took a toll on the newly evolved Pokémon and is unable to continue further. Rest well big kitty, you beat who you wanted to beat and deserve a good rest.

As if that wasn’t epic enough, in the final phase of this full battle, Tapu Koko steps in and serves as Kukui’s last Pokémon and even granting both parties to be able to use Z-moves once again. Fast forward, Ash and Pikachu finally defeated their first opponent when they first set foot in the Alola region with the Z-Ring Tapo Koko gave them in the first place. It clearly now knows that Ash was a worthy holder of using Z-Power and a Champion that everyone can look up to. What a battle. What a series. Thank you Alola. Thank you Sun & Moon.

NOVEMBER - Pikachu Origins

Enter the next chapter. The new era of the Pokémon anime finally launched this in a very different way. The first episode basically serves as the prequel to the Pokémon anime series before Ash had set out on his quest to become a Pokémon Master. Long story short, we can Pikachu’s background story on how he came to be the loving mascot recognized everywhere on paper. I mean who would’ve thunk it? I just love the fact that we’re getting an origin story of how Ash’s Pikachu when it was still a wild Pichu. Although it wasn’t explained how Professor Oak ended up catching the little guy, Pikachu always had a good heart (you know despite rejecting Ash at first lol). The most adorable thing about this episode was the family bond Pichu temporarily shared with this little Kangaskhan family. The little guy was an outcast not really sure where to go or what to do except survive and find food. When that Kangaskhan picked him up as if it was one of its babies, and gained a new caring sibling in the process. It was a wholesome story of calling someone family even though there is no blood relation. Pichu was literally not their kind, but they still loved him as it was them!

Meanwhile, we get a little preview of our new characters from seeing their childhood and setting up the premise for them to cross paths with Ash in the future. The newest protagonist, Go, was a little know-it-all about Pokémon, and he sure bragged a lot of his knowledge on it during one of Professor Oak’s camp (in which Ash failed to wake up for). Along with his worrisome friend, Koharu, they spotted a Mew while going off course in Oak’s tour around their campsite. It would also be the saving grace of the lost baby Kangaskhan who accidentally fell off a cliff after attempting to play with the Mew. After seeing Mew’s psychic abilities, it was clear for Go that he needed to catch Mew one day. This is the initial goal that Go wanted to set out for when he’s old enough.

After the incident with his Kangaskhan sibling, Pichu had to re-think if he wants to continue being a part of a pack that he doesn’t even properly belong it in the first place. When the herd of Kangaskhan took shelter in cave during heavy rain, Pichu had to make a tough decision and leave his foster family behind while they were asleep because he knew that the mother Kangaskhan would not let go of someone who it sees as a child of her own. Pichu knew that was the only way, but despite his sad decision he was grateful for the happiness they provided for a lone wolf Pokémon that wandered in the wild looking belong somewhere. It was that same happiness that gave Pichu the strength to evolve to the Pikachu we all know today, and found a forever home with a certain tardy boy a couple of years later that they both formed an inseparable friendship.

DECEMBER - The Great Gigantamax in Galar

Of course, you can’t have a new series without showing off a new region?! As our “research fellows” Ash & Go continue their exploration in the Galar region learning more about the Dynamax phenomenon that causes Pokémon to grow bigger in size, they are about to be in for one gigantic dilemma. They had some trouble when they met a bunch of trickster Pokémon in those Nickit and a dirty Scorbunny trying to steal their food, but that wasn’t the last they saw of that Scorbunny. When they took the train to explore the Wild Area, Scorbunny secretly tagged along in hopes to be partners with Go after feeling a connection with the trainer during their first encounter. After MANY attempts of trying get Go’s attention, he finally notices Scorbunny after it kicks a rock to knock down fruit on top of a Snorlax they were observing (that hits Ash’s head first oof). Scorbunny attempts to get caught by Go, but he declined due to his vow for Mew to be his first catch. After the sad rejection, red lights then start to surround the Snorlax that ended up Dynamaxing it to Gigantamax Snorlax! This caused a big road blockage that affects a train line in that area. Ash, Pikachu, Go and Scorbunny decide to team up and move the Snorlax before the next train comes by to avoid a disaster from happening. Ash and Pikachu were able to cut down a big fruit from the Gigantamax Snorlax’s body and pass it on to Go and Scorbunny to make sure he jumps (just like earlier from Scorbunny’s accidental fruit pick) for that fruit in time for the train to pass by without anyone getting hurt. It was a tough task getting all the way up to the belly of beast, but thanks the Double Kick boost Scorbunny gave that big fruit, Snorlax not only moved in time for the next train to stop by, but return back to normal (big) size.

Unfortunately, Scorbunny was also swallowed in that big gulp, but it was a good thing that Snorlax didn’t munch it all the way. After the teamwork Go felt with Scorbunny during all that, he decides to modify his dream a bit and wants Scorbunny to now be his first Pokémon catch. Both are happy to be with one another, and we all know this was going to be the start of wonderful friendship. With this addition to the group, the main cast for the new anime series is now fully-set. Let the true adventures around the Pokémon world begin!

Some honorable mentions…

2019 for PokéAni marked an end of an era, but a start of a new one too! No doubt one of the most impactful years the show has had in the world since the XY&Z arc. Besides the historic Alola League, we also saw the continuation of Brock & Misty’s trip to Alola (not to mention Brock & Olivia’s adorkable interactions together), the class’ crash-course golf lessons with none other than Kahili! Ash catching a rare Meltan that appeared out of nowhere, The Sparkling Trio of Mallow, Lana & Lillie uniting as Alola DrinKyun (’Refreshing Trio: Alola Idols’ in the English dub), Ash challenging Ryuki’s Kantonian Gym, the high-speed Vikavolt race, Mallow’s vision in opening her Pokémon café, Matori’s unexpected visit to the Team Rocket base in Alola, and let’s not for get about the Ultra Guardians finishing up their final missions in capturing the remaining UBs: Pheromosa and Kartana. And honestly, after seeing all of Sun & Moon, can everyone just agree that Kukui is the BEST Pokémon professor?!

Of course, how can I not mention the final episode of Sun & Moon? In what was probably one of the most emotional farewell episodes in the anime’s history. If you don’t have bias from the original goodbye with Brock & Misty in Johto, this would probably be the best one. It was executed perfectly with Ash’s class figuring out what to do in the future with Ash himself not sure what to do moving forward. Naganadel had to return back to its homeworld, the Rockets had to say leave their Alola Pokémon with Bewear as she sends them off one final time, Nebby returns to see Ash one final time, and Lillie decides to search for her father away from Alola after brining Magearna to life. With everyone deciding what to do, Ash heads back home to explore the world (which transitions to the new series) leaving all his Alola Pokémon behind in Kukui’s lab, while Rotom Dex decides to work for the Aether Foundation. The boat scene with Lillie was a good touch on how her character evolved thanks to Ash’s help, and the departing airport scene with Kukui, Burnet, and Ash group hugging was touching. Even Ash teared up as he gets in the air leaving Alola as his friends and Pokémon he left behind wave goodbye. If that wasn’t a good send off for the Sun & Moon series, Mallow’s Shaymin finally achieved its Sky Forme (which have her mother’s eyes...could be a touching symbolism that she was always watching her ;_;) from a Gracidea flower before taking off, AND ON TOP OF THAT, the final shot of the series no less, we find out that Professor Burnet is pregnant. Never in the history of this anime has ever done that to a major character in the supporting cast. The Sun & Moon series continues to break ground as one of the best Pokémon series.

Other than that, we got the new series (which I still wish we had a proper sub-title for -_-) giving us a taste of what to expect in the new Generation VIII era. Our newly appointed research fellows, Ash & Go are at Professor Sakuragi’s Institute helping with his research along with Mimey and Koharu helping out with the household chores. Lugia brought these two together, and are now living under the same roof. And, can we talk about Mimey?! I’m so glad a classic character from this anime is being used as a permanent supporting character for this series. Not to mention that he battled alongside Ash in the Hoenn tournament and won! It’s also refreshing to see updated animation within Kanto where they’re home base is at, and I absolutely cannot wait for them to go back to other regions with this fresh new art style. With Go’s goal to catch every Pokémon there is for him to index, he’s bound to meet Mew again one day! He’s literally every Pokémon games’ protagonist and I’m glad we have a main character like him who actually focuses on catching them all. As for Ash, he’s still our Ash carving his own unique path on his continuing journey to become a Pokémon Master because it’s more than being the strongest trainer and more than just catching Pokémon. I’m going to take his word for it! I don’t know if you noticed, but Go kinda looks up to him a bit due to his experiences in battle. Just look how shy he was just wanting to be his friend. You just gotta love it when they make Ash this mentor-type friend especially now coming off a huge victory in the Alola League becoming a champion.

Overall, the Sun & Moon anime gave us a variety of different set of stories every week leading up to the anticipated Alola League. Everyone had a story to tell building up to the Alola League, and just look at the list of episodes we’ve had this year that went back and forth with characters that get a main focus other than Ash (or even Lillie). Most of these episodes I’m talking about are either development for a Pokémon in their team evolving, or a perfecting a Z-move with their respective Z-Crystals. This shows much the writers care about each main character gets enough screen-time before they’re ready to take on the League with Ash. If you are still thinking on whether or not to continue/finish watching the series if you haven’t yet, I would still recommend to please watch until the end! It’s a really fun ride to sit through it all in my humble opinion, unless you want to just bolt straight into the League episodes only caring about Ash’s story. You do you. As for the new series, it will definitely pick up the pace sooner or later with the initial episodes are setting up to lead into something bigger. If you aren’t hooked in yet, definitely be patient because I’m expecting a lot of good opportunities for them to pull off in this cross-region based format. Sure it isn’t based 100% on the latest games in the franchise Sword & Shield, but that’s what separates the anime and the games. The anime is doing its own thing with an original story, but I’m pretty sure they will mix-in some of the interesting storylines and feature important characters from Sword & Shield every time they revisit Galar because it’s the new region on the block. They should feature/market a lot of episodes from all the new content Galar has. So I would definitely still keep my eyes on the Pocket Monsters series 👀

And there you have it! This post as long as it already is, so I’ll stop here. If you’ve read everything I had to say (maybe a few typos here and there lol), then thank you for your time! Feel free share your own favorite PokéAni moment 2019 with a reblog or a reply if you choose to do so. Thanks so much for an amazing year, and it’s time for us to GO to 2020. More moments await for us, and maybe even some surprises we might see since Ash is returning to previous regions he already visited in the past. See everyone in 2020 for the first full year of the new ‘Pocket Monsters’ series. Let’s go (with Go heh) and have some fun! Yes, I think used the word ‘go’ here too many freakin’ times lol

Happy New Year to all my followers, and the rest of the Pokémon fandom!

If you haven’t seen these yet, and you are new to my blog, check out all the previous year-end PokéAni Rewinds I did in the past: 2016 | 2017 | 2018

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

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"Have I Made A Terrible Mistake?"

Monday 25th May 2020

Good Afternoon folks! I hope you've all had a good week! My week has been pretty busy with me getting the news of going back to my second job, trying to get everything sorted before they reopen! I realise that this post is late again, but again I shall post up 2 separate blogs today, this will cover last night's episode and I shall post another one later tonight covering tonight's episode. I'm sure you've all seen the recent trailer that dropped over the weekend, I'm sure it covered up everything in the episodes for this week, looks juicy! Anyway enough babbling, shall I get right to it?

Firstly, let's start with Jean ... at the beginning there she was said she was expecting a letter from Stacey. Is she still thinking she's going to hear from her? We know she's been desperate to hear from her daughter, she still doesn't know exactly where she is. It's clear she's not mentally stable right now and something is definitely not right. Could it be her bipolar again? Even Mo and Kush are aware now that's she's acting as if Daniel is still around. Is she still grieving? Is it her way of coping? However in the previous episode we saw her lay the table out for him and then during that episode, she had his closed placed on his bed ready, as if he would be using them. It's frustrating that something can't be done to help her, and even Kush isn't wanting to call Kat or Stacey to let them know about Jean's current mental state. I do think at some point Kush is just going have to bite the bullet and ring one of them and tell them what's happened. Could it mean that Kat or Stacey could be in for a return very soon?! The way Jean's story-line is going, I think it's going to get worse before any one realises how much danger she is living on her own. It REALLY irritated me when Suki piped up and insisted on being there when they let Kush into the house! Honestly, does she have a thrill of seeing Jean so vulnerable? Honestly, she makes me sick! All she really cares about is her bloody cardigan! Oooo she winds me up so much!

Honestly, Martin needs to stop flirting so much with Ruby and try and help Kush out with Jean as much as he can! I don't understand why Martin has been left in the dark about Jean, he was a member of her family once. I'm sure if he was to know he'd do anything to help and find out what's wrong with Jean. Kush needs to tell him as soon as possible! Martin and Stacey may not be an item anymore, but that doesn't mean he ignores his once Mother-In-Law and his "so called" best mate! And it certainly doesn't mean that he has to move on to his ex's best friend!! Honestly, I think this thing going on with Martin and Ruby is the one thing that's frustrating me the most! It just doesn't seem real. I don't know? Am I looking at it too much? Am I thinking about it too deeply? I'm not sure, but please, tell me what you think! Do you agree with me? Or do you think that Martin is literally just moving on with his life?! It's just with his past with the Slaters, I never thought he'd turn his back on Jean, especially when it's the time she needs people around her the most. But erm ... Can I just say ... was I hearing things? Did Ruby just make Max think they would spice things up in their relationship by having a threesome? That was the impression I got!!! I could be completely wrong, but can someone confirm for me that that was what they were talking about?! If so, I found it awkwardly funny to watch! I don't know why I'm having these thoughts, but I'm convinced that Ruby isn't talking about a female friend. I bet she'll play it up and get Max excited to experience something new in his relationship with her, that when it's revealed that she meant a male friend, he'll flip! That would be funny to see! I know it sounds a bit weird, but this is Soapland - you never know!

Awwww poor Tina! Something is telling me that she could end up homeless? She knows that they're selling the Vic and bless her, she assumed they'd all find a place together as a family. But does this mean that she could potentially end up living on the streets if she can't find a place to live in time? I doubt very much that Mick and Linda would ever see her living on the streets. But does Shirley really have something in place for them both? Or could Shirley end up turning to Phil and ask him for help? I don't know when Mick and Linda will be leaving the Vic, I'm sure it'll be within the next few episodes. But who know's what's going to happen to Tina and Shirley once they do leave. Will they all leave together or could someone be left behind?

Oh god, things just keep getting from bad to worse for poor Keegan doesn't it?! It started off so well for him when he received the news that the charges were going to be dropped. Everyone was feeling supportive for him and telling him that he could finally move on and look to the future. He was focusing on his business again with a brand new look for his van. Karen even gave Tiffany Shaki's trainers to pass onto Keegan, which made them finally reconnect. However, once Tiffany tried standing up for her husband after Keegan gets mistaken for a drug dealer by some thug, she is once again being told not to stick up for him. She can't do right from wrong. I feel this relationship is going to come to end soon, there is tension and everything that has happened to the young couple in recent months has put a strain on their relationship. Tiffany even admitted to Karen that Keegan has changed and she can't seem to help no matter how hard she tries. I loved that scene though, I thought it was one of those meaningful lovely chats between Mother and Daughter-In -Law, even their relationship has come a long way since Keegan and Tiffany married. How are they going to react once they find out what happened with Keegan's van? I did feel sorry for Keegan when they destroyed and vandalised his van, but to then rob Shakil's trainers from him must have been heartbreaking! And with all those market people standing and just watching, none of them even bothered to help! Just shouted and hollered at the gang for them to go away, no one actually stepped in to help and tell them to do one! Where was Jack when you needed him?! That would've been a perfect opportunity for Jack to rush in and stop the vandals and help Keegan again, but no!! Would that have been too easy?! What's going to happen with Keegan now? Something tells me he's not going to start again with his business, could he even get the vehicle fixed? Will he blame Tiffany - seeing as it was her who stood up to the gang member? Surely Keegan's luck has got to change at some point, this horrible bad luck that he's continuing to have, can't last forever. Something has got to give!

Oh! Sharon is back! As much as she says she wants to give things a go with Phil and that she still loves him, I've got a funny feeling that she's only saying that so she can get him to buy the Vic for her. Once she has it, that will be that! It's just a feeling I've got, but I will gladly put my hands up if i'm wrong! I do sometimes let my imagination run away with me! Through out the episode she was doing everything she could to stay out of Karen's way. In the cafe and in the Vic she left the room as soon as she saw her with Kayden. Of course she's still a grieving mother and it must be hard for her. She looked a little ... concerned maybe ... when Linda told her that Karen would be leaving with Kayden in a couple of days time. It looked as if she wanted to know more information, but unfortunately that was all Linda could give her. I don't know what the word is that i'm looking for, but as if she needed to know more about the fact that her child could be leaving. But then once Linda found the bag of Dennis's belongings and Sharon found a present that Dennis left for his younger sibling, only then did Sharon realise she's made an awful mistaken. Dennis would never have wanted his Mum to get rid of his younger brother, he would have wanted her to give the child a fantastic life, not just for her or him but for his brother! Will Sharon be able to stop them leaving before it's too late? Or will Karen even agree to giving Kayden back? I'm intrigued as to what could happen next ... but then if she does want the child back, what does it mean for her and Phil? Would Phil be able to bring another man's child up ... OR (ANOTHER POSSIBLE PLOT TWIST) ... Could the child actually end up being Phil's? I know she did a DNA test earlier when she was pregnant, but could it have been wrong? Could there have been a mix up? Who knows? Either way, I hope Sharon realises and acts before it's too late, it would be awful to see her live with a decision she may regret.

Thank you guys for being incredibly patient with me, I do appreciate it! I shall be back later tonight with another post following up on tonight's episode! Enjoy! Thanks again everyone! xXx

#eastenders #jeanslater #kushkazemi #suki panesar #martinfowler #rubyallen #maxbranning #keeganbaker #tiffanybutcher #karenbaker #tinacarter #shirleycarter #mickcarter #lindacarter #philmitchell #sharonmitchell

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leonorawrites · 4 years

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I GAVE UP MY DREAM SCHOOL

Hello to whoever reading this blog (if there is anyone at all haha). Lately, I have been feeling so lost and confused as I cut off ties from the memories that I have lingered on for many years and have already been a huge part of my everydays. I will not beat around the bush anymore, so I just wanna tell that I am moving on to a new chapter of my life to become a bolder and stronger version of myself. Haha too late to realize self-worth for a 20 year old, right? And as I strive to be a better person for myself, as much as possible, I am trying my best to put a period on every single thing about me that was left with a question mark. It might sound boring in your part to just sit or lie down while scrolling through your phone reading my thoughts, so I understand if you will stop reading and go back. But, thank you for taking your time to at least appreciate the first few sentences. Okay, I think I have already said enough, so I will finally begin.

Just a disclaimer, I believe that no particular school/university should be ranked and compared in any way. We see, each has its own strengths and weaknesses the same manner each has its own capacities and limitations. I solemnly respect the fact that education will never depend solely on the arms of the institution. Going back, being an ordinary student that I am, I have always dreamt of going to the University of the Philippines. To be a student nurse and an Iskolar ng Bayan at the same time became my utmost desire for College. Unfortunately, I was not alone. There were actually hundreds of thousands dreamers just like me that aspired to enter the reputable university. This made it even harder for me to accept the reality that my parents did not allow my dream to happen. I did not receive any financial support to enroll myself even just in the cheapest review center possible. Summer of that year was actually the worst for me— seeing my friends studying together for UPCAT with their parents supporting them from behind while I am desperately comparing myself to them. Was it difficult? Yes, but that wasn’t the hardest part yet.

I kept on debating with myself. With my parents telling me to stop dreaming over and over again, I started questioning my desires and potentials. But everytime I tried to stop, fate kept on reminding me that I can... even on my own alone. I restored my self-esteem and stepped-up my game. I started collecting reviewers from online and had all of them printed. I also somehow managed to have some of my friends’ reading materials photocopied. I also attended some free educational seminars and gathered everything that I’ve learned in a personalized notebook slash handwritten reviewer. Crazy, right? I barely survived that one whole summer studying almost endlessly. I had to admit that I was really pressured up to the point where I doubled and even tripled my efforts. To cut the story short, I was able to take the exam.

Wanna know three interesting facts about my UPCAT journey? First, I really suck at Math so I kept in mind to let go of it and just do well in Science and Language. The night before the “not-so-awaited examination day”, I skimmed through my Math notes (I only focused on some formulas) just to make sure that I will not mess the entire Mathematics part. My bad, I ended up studying overnight and slept for 4 hours only. As a result, I just forgot all the formulas and messed up more. I also fell asleep for almost half of the Science test so the proctor had to approach and wake me up. I was so stupid in that part, wasn’t I? Second, this might sound absurd but this really happened for real. The day after I took the exam, I had a high fever that I almost fail to attend our Student’s Night the next day. My mom even scolded me for taking the exam too seriously that even my health was compromised. Third, I passed. So yeah, that was and is still the best day of my life. Although I wasn’t able to pass my first campus and course choices, I still passed my second choice and was beyond blessed.

Fast forward to when I first laid my foot at UPB. I told to myself, “Grabe! This is it. ‘Di ko na ‘to pakakawalan.” I knew deep inside myself that I was finally an inch closer to my dream. Though, I just had to do some adjustments from UPM to UPB and from BS Nursing to Bs Biology, I did not really care about it back then. After all, to be an Iska was my utmost desire. When I was finally able to enroll and see my schedule, believe me, I felt it. I felt the incomparable satisfaction of reaping the seeds I have sown on my own. Oble became my best friend and UP Naming Mahal became my theme song. Believe me, I was that happy. I met some of my blockmates and they eventually became my friends. They kept the Iska fire inside me burning even brighter. Everything was so perfect— my parents finally allowed me to move out and live alone, my friends passed the UPCAT with me, and my dream almost turn to reality.

You might be asking the same question everyone else has been asking me for the longest time, “WHY?”. The bottomline is, sometimes we have to give up something good to have something better. Having UP within reach was so good to be true for me. I mean, I am and will always be grateful for that mere opportunity. But being there made me realize that overwhelming feelings can be deceiving as well. I was too overwhelmed of the test results that I mistook it to be the path God has prepared for me. I have always wanted to enter UP, but God have always called me to save and transform lives— to be a nurse. It caused me too much pain to understand Him before myself, but I never regret following His will over mine. I gave up UP not because I wanted to quit my dream, but because I wanted to pursue it. Fate always has a way of leading us to where we really belong. Whichever way is yours, claim that you’ll arrive at the right place, in the right time, and as a right person.

PADAYON!

#diary #personal #random #thoughts

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umbralrosarchive · 5 years

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Follower Appreciation:

I decided that, since it’s Thanksgiving, I was gonna do this blog’s first ever follower appreciation post. This is my thanks for the 60+ some of ya’s that went out of your way to give this muse of mine a chance at purpose by interacting with them, and sticking around. Seriously, I look down on myself, this blog, and this old af OC --- so it just, really helps a lot that you guys think differently in any of those regards.

To save all ya’s the dashboard space, I’m putting all this under a Read More. Honorable Mentions go to those who have interacted at all with the muse in threads, and/or popped into the IM’s a few times. In terms of multiples, I went with the most currently used blog.

Happy Holidays, and thank you all, with every fiber of my being.

@masshirohebi, you’ve been around with this muse for the longest, and I can’t ever be grateful enough to have had the opportunity to write with you and in our oftentimes IM’s. You are probably the sweetest person I’ve ever known on this hellsite. I know that there’s been some distance in this last year or so and I feel it got reflected in how our muses parted, but I will never forget your Oro. Ever. The interactions between our muses is one that has left me in feels and excitement the most for as long as I’ve been on Tumblr. You write Oro so beautifully, and stand your ground with them and how their story unfolded since the series progressed. Portray them in a way that is unforgettably perfect. I admire the hell out of that. I hope we can continue to write for another year and more to come so long as your here, if you’ll still have me. I really can’t put into words how nice you are as a person and how refreshing and overall warming it is to see, and it really does shine through when you interact with others that get that same vibe of kindness. Just. Bless your entire soul, for real.

@hellcisthisthingon, I know you’ve got the most muses in my follower list, with well over more than 5 that I love to pieces. I hope I tagged you with the right blog that you’re using the most rn so that you can see this. Because you are fucking fantastic. An absolute unit. We don’t much talk now and I get business takes people away, but I’ll never forget the memery and shenanigans that took up our IM’s. I’ve been exposed to a few new fandoms through your muses, one of which was a series I’ve not batted a lash at in a hot minute (AHS), and I’m glad you brought in some new light that wasn’t exclusively anime af. I’m always here when you hop on, and if you ever need a hand or an ear, I got’chu mans. I’ll always get’chu if I can. If you ever make a new muse, I’ll hop on that bandwagon when I see you followed, no questions asked. I fuckin’ love you mans, I wish you the best, and all the wellness.

@dxmonicmoon, I would have never gotten out of that procrastination hellhole if it wasn’t for your Kokushibou. I always told myself “I’ll start KnY after this---”. It never happened, and I felt absolutely compelled to start it when the interactions and IM convo’s were just too grand. I’m currently enthralled with the series, reading the manga and am caught up, and look forward to the second season and movie despite being spoiled. You’re really sweet to talk with, and I always get glad when I see you on the dashboard. I always look forward to your responses, because your writing and Koku is phenomenal. I always see that you have a very busy inbox, and admire the fuck out of how much muse you can muster for so much. I wish I could do that. I hope you have the best rest of your year, and more to follow!

@rotcon, first of all. I absolutely love your art. I’ll always treasure that one of Sakuya you did. I get a little extra mood to draw when I see your stuff of Seb, it’s super inspiring. I can’t get enough of our threads. I love how well you execute your muse so much, and all his reactions and responses to Sakuya’s weird ass. I hope they finally stop with the games and just hold hands already. I await your flawless return, either on the dash or in IM’s~

@arachnido, I cannot for the life of me be more grateful for your help with Photoshop that one time. Even though the connection was bad, I enjoyed talking with you on Discord. So much relateability, so much shenanigans. I had a good time. I’ve never interacted with a Claude before, and I’m glad you’re the first. I don’t think I want another. I’m also glad that you gave me the inspiration to draw that one doodle of him, that it made you very joyous. It in of itself inspired me further to draw more. I love the dedication you have for your muse, and the way you write them is amazing. I look forward to any more conversation we happen to have, and if you need anything, I’m here.

Honorable Mentions:

@voiivode, @arrayofemotions, @backblade, @theworldio, @chidoricry, @kxshikoi, @despairinghxpe, @holylies

#vrmunl #玫Defying The Constructs [Queue]#♥

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1000000dreams · 6 years

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My Testimony (part 2 of 2)

If you don’t already know how I came to Christ, you can read that journey here. I made the choice to come out at my church fellowship, and I couldn’t have asked for a better coming out. I was a gay Christian who was following the path to celibacy. But my return to my hometown brought me a new challenge to face.

OUT OF THE CLOSET - How I became visible

Moving back in with my parents wasn’t easy. We had more of the same arguments, and I felt caught between my family and my faith. Eventually, this dispute went from deep contention to deep respect. From the shadows of disputation came the dawn of honesty. What I thought was a terrible experience with my family turned out to be the very thing that would bring us closer together.

This winter, I decided to buy a ticket to the annual Gay Christian Network conference. This year it was in Denver, CO. I heard about it through a straight ally, and I’ve always wanted to know more about the organization. I was not prepared for what God had in store for me.

Aside from finally being in a space where I don’t feel out of place, and meeting online friends in real life, and feeling instantly connected with people who are from completely different cultures,...there were 3 takeaway points I got from GCN:

1. There are parts of my identity I never noticed were there.

I noticed this when I was around other Side B folks, especially the ones who were more out than me and happened to be more flamboyant than me. I noticed myself being comfortable expressing my - for a lack of a better term - “femininity.” It was shocking to me how comfortable I felt expressing this side of me. It was like flapping a pair of wings I didn’t know I had. Was I suppressing my “gay” side my whole life? What else was hiding inside of me that was afraid to see the light?

2. Side A people aren’t bad Christians.

I’ve been told my whole Christian life that Side A people were twisting or watering down the Bible, treading dangerous waters, living a life of lies, or just straight up not Christians. This negative picture of them caused me to cling to what I thought was the only way, which is to believe that God had called all gay Christians to celibacy. I especially cling since I still sometimes believe and act like I’m a new Christian. I could finally sit down and talk to Side A Christians face-to-face and hear from their perspectives what God was revealing to them.

3. Side A and Side B are not opposites.

These two camps were polarized by my peers. I’ve been told they “can’t both be right” and that they are on opposite sides. There is actually a lot the two sides have in common. The most important one is that we both want to help our churches understand and nourish us. Rather than argue theology, we should unite in helping our churches succeed, and we can learn from one another in the process. I also got to meet a few Side A folks that used to be Side B, and what that journey was like.

I could write several blog posts of how God used GCN (now called Q Christian Fellowship or QCF) for me. But in summary, this conference made me a beautiful picture of what the kingdom of God was like, and how I could be a part of that as a gay man. You can imagine the huge contrast I noticed coming back home.

I’ve been attending a large 1000+ congregation church ever since I moved back to my hometown. And even though I had been there for 2 years, I had not met a single other LGBT person that attends it. Realizing my lack of an LGBT network, I decided to seek non-religious LGBT friends for the first time. In doing so, after being out of the closet for 5 years, I could finally accept myself as part of the LGBT community. I came out on Facebook because I realized how many churches lacked an LGBT voice. I could finally let my Christian and non-Christian friends know that gay Christians exist and we have something to say.

OUT OF THE DARK - How God became visible to me through a new lens.

I was still feeling uncomfortable about my feelings. Was I supposed to live my life having crushes on men all the time and then just do NOTHING about it? To help me make logical sense of myself, I took the bold step to download a dating app for the first time in my life. Although it was exhilarating at first, I eventually realized the downsides to online dating and reeled it back to just passively looking. There were still a lot of questions I needed answers to.

I read books by Kathy Baldock and Justin Lee, and I was listening to countless episodes of the Queerology podcast. I was having conversations with LGBT Christians online, and I found a local LGBT bible study group. I was (and always was) an information sponge.

I got to a point in which I realized how Side A Christians seemed no different from the rest. They wanted to live life in honor of Christ, they want to center their relationships around His word, they make great parents, and they even seek out premarital counseling just like a straight Christian couple would. I got to a point where I was uncomfortable believing that God’s call to celibacy applied to EVERY LGBT person.

I started to become bitter at my lack of LGBT exposure in my adulthood. It was even more evident when I realized I had only gone to heterosexual Christian weddings for the last 8 or so years of my life. What was marriage? What defined a Christian marriage if I had never gone to a secular one? What defined marriage if I had never gone to a homosexual one?

God answered my last question in a humorous way. I got to finally “attend” my first same-sex wedding by watching two female characters in a TV show propose and marry. I watched that episode with a queer friend of mine. “Why do you still believe what you believe, Derek?,” they asked me. “I feel like I’ve been supportive most of your life, and your parents have been supportive most of your life. So why do you still believe what you believe?” I summarized to them Side B theology and explained I was still in between B and A. It challenged me and made me do a lot of thinking.

I had the opportunity to attend my first ever affirming church - although it was only 5 people and we met in the back of a restaurant. The pastor was really wise, and they had been in the gay church for decades. I really saw a deep care for people like me. A respect for seeking God in a way that only LGBT people can seek Him. As I drove my friend home from that church, I couldn’t help but be excited. I was excited to meet more people like that and have more conversations with them. My friend looked over at me and said something that really stuck with me.

“Derek, it’s great that you want to meet all these people and talk with them. But you can’t have them decide for you what to believe. Only you can decide what you believe.”

I nodded and kept driving, but they were right. I needed to make this a personal decision.

That night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that God was trying to tell me something. I went outside to the pool area in my apartment complex and lied down on one of the orange lounge chairs. The only light that was illuminating the dark, star-less sky was a single lamp post and the blue glow from the water. I decided to call up a friend.

I wasn’t sure what God wanted me to do, so I just prayed with them on the phone. I began praying about how God made me and how I enjoyed the Earth he put me on. I prayed how diverse he made us yet how we couldn’t live up to His perfection. And then I realized the other beautiful thing He gave me. The power of choice.

By this time, my words could no longer be comprehensible over the tears and the sounds coming from my heart. My friend finished the prayer and thanked me for letting them into this experience. They ended the call. I cried for another 19 minutes. I couldn’t move my fingers. I couldn’t get up off the lounge chair. My body was aching with whatever was transforming me at the moment. But I was extremely emotional because I realized the power of choice.

God gave me the choice to believe in Him or not to believe in Him back in my freshman year of college.

God gave me the choice to come out or not to come out when I was about to graduate.

God gave me the choice to stay at my old church or move across California to live back with my parents.

And finally, God gave me to the choice to believe in Side A or in Side B.

What was preventing me from choosing Side A? That I would lose community. That I would lose all the people who had supported me when I was choosing Side B. That some of my churches would look at me with shame if I started dating another man. That some of my friends would not attend my wedding if I decided to marry that man.

But you know what? God’s love is greater than that. God’s love is greater than my friends’ love for me. Instead of fearing what I would lose, I could hope for what I could gain. I could gain a more beautiful and authentic life. A life in which I no longer felt like I was cursed, but a life in which I was blessed. The beauty of God’s LGBT children was extremely evident in that moment, and transcended all of the fear I had of my non-affirming friends’ judgments. So I guess you could say that’s when I became Side A.

Since then, I have remained a huge ally to the Side B community, and I have received love from every person that I came out to as Side A. I hope to follow God and explore what it means to be a gay Christian, and I hope that anyone who reads this will be inspired to learn more about people like me while living their own authentic lives. I hope to have continual conversations around this topic, and I hope to humbly learn from those who have different opinions and beliefs than me. Thank you for reading, and I hope we can all bring peace to this complex life we all live <3

#gaychristian #side b #side a #love #jesus #christ #gcn #qcf

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just-a-re-blog · 6 years

Text

Seeking Oenomel Chapter 4

So, I was totally just going to discontinue this because I’ve changed a lot about my blog and Kpop isn’t a huge part of it anymore, but apparently, there was still some interest in hearing more of this story! So, I will finish out Seeking Oenomel for you guys, although I can’t make promises as to how consistent or inconsistent I’ll be with updates. But to all of you who reached out to tell me you wanted more and to those who continue reading--thank you ten times over!!! That’s what motivates me to write! Bless you all.

~HMR

1 2 3 4

Early the next morning, Suho finds you and walks you down to the kitchen and puts a man named Seokjin in charge of you. As you sit down at a small wooden table in the breakroom, Seokjin’s bright smile helps loosen the tight knot of anxiety centered somewhere deep in you. You hold on to the image and try to convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing. He disappears for a moment and comes back with a plate of pancakes and eggs and silverware that he sets before you. You thank him quietly and nibble at the food, guilt and uncertainty still twisting your stomach.

He pulls out a chair across from you and sits, leaning his elbows on the table. “So, I’ll bet you didn’t know we’d be putting you to work here, right?” You shake your head slightly, and Seokjin nods understandingly. “If we had more resources, I assure you--you’d be our guest. But this place is bursting at the seams, and we need all the help we can get. You used to work at a restaurant, right?”

You swallow a mouthful of egg and frown in confusion. “Actually, I think I still work there.”

Seokjin laughs and the sound is so endearingly unashamed and dorky that you can’t help but feel your defenses crack. “Don’t worry, Junmyeon will take care of that.”

“Junmyeon?”

“Suho. He’s all about the logistics of keeping up appearances--cover-ups, disappearances, you name it. He runs our ‘human resource’ department. He’ll wrap up most of the loose ends and leave just enough of them untied to throw the Blackguards off your trail.”

You bite into the pancakes on your fork, and you feel yourself wanting to share some of your insecurities and doubts with Seokjin. “I still can’t believe Taemin was part of the Blackguards. He...he seemed so kind. Sweet and innocent.”

Seokjin cocks his head in thought, something brewing in his irises that he looks a bit hesitant to voice. “It’s easy to want to generalize, but we all have our reasons. He probably was kind and sweet, and honestly, you’d be hard-pressed to find a single person in the world that doesn’t have some sort of blood on their hands.” You fall silent again, and Seokjin can tell his partial opinion has pushed you back into your shell. “Do you want something to drink? I can get you some coffee, if you’d like.”

You smile half-heartedly. “Uh, sure.”

“Cream and sugar?”

“Yes, please.”

He grins. “I’ve got just the blend for you. I’ll be back in a second.”

You turn Seokjin’s words over in your head, wondering how he could say that Taemin was no worse than everybody else, how he could say that he was still a good person, how he could say that what the Blackguards did was no worse than the white lies you told in daily life. Seokjin returns with a steaming cup of heavenly smelling coffee, and you gratefully accept it. As he sets the cup down, you notice the gold band on his fourth finger.

“Are you married?” you ask with surprise.

Seokjin’s face lights up. “I sure am. She’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. That’s her recipe--the Agnes special.” He looks affectionately at his hand and then at the white cup in your grasp.

This line of questioning is a welcome distraction. “How did you meet her?”

“I’ve been managing restaurants for a while. She was my employee, and I knew I’d be smitten from the minute I interviewed her.” Seokjin’s eyes meet yours, and you find such pure affection and admiration there, you wonder if maybe he is one of the few people in this organization and the world that has clean hands. “Naturally, she couldn’t be my girlfriend and my employee, so I quit my job and the two of us got married not too long after.”

“You gave that up for her? That’s so kind of you, Seokjin.”

He holds up a hand. “Jin. Seokjin sounds too formal. I haven’t been Seokjin since I got here years ago.”

You sip the coffee slowly, savoring the taste. “How did you get here?”

“Ah, there it is,” he says knowingly, leaning back in his chair. “Namjoon and I have known each other for ages. Agnes and I…” He sighs ruefully, shaking his head with a small smile. “We got caught in the Blackguards’ crosshairs. Almost didn’t make it. I was a few minutes away from becoming collateral. Lucky for us, Seungcheol and Namjoon were already in pursuit of the men that ambushed us. They gave up the targets to save us, and we’ve been with them ever since.”

“Did you get revenge?” you ask softly, the color in your face draining as the words leave your lips.

“Our revenge is doing good work here and living well.” He reaches across the table, drumming his fingers on the dark wood. “You know, Sigma isn’t a normal gang. I’m well aware of our reputation, and there’s a reason that perception exists. But we aren’t like the others.The people here--”

“Jin?” A young girl in a gray shirt, slacks, and an apron stands in the doorway.

Jin turns with a pleasant smile on his face. “Yes, Lisa?”

“Breakfast rush starts in two. Do you want us to cover for you?”

He gets up from the table and claps his hands. “Absolutely not! This is the perfect opportunity for Y/N to see us in action and get a taste of life in our kitchen.” He sends a wink your way. “Come on.”

Lisa’s big eyes turn to you, and she cocks her head, appraising you. She frowns and lets out a quiet hum. “You’ve got a lot of hair...You’ll probably need a big one. Do you have a hair tie?” You shake your head in confusion. “That’s okay.” She reaches into a pocket in her apron and draws out a light brown elastic, motioning for you to come closer. Her hands work through your hair with surprising expertise to pull it into a tight, high puff. “Let’s go get you a net.”

And then she is taking your hand with surprising forwardness. She tugs you through the kitchen and to the front counter where three men and one woman stand talking to one another. They all turn to look at you with polite curiosity.

“Guys, this is the new girl,” Lisa says as she lets go of your hand to grab a hair net. “Be nice to her, okay? It’s only her second day here.”

A tall boy with a long face rolls his eyes. “Aren’t we always nice, Lisa?”

“No,” she says pointedly. “But it’s usually only me that you’re mean to, so I’m not too worried.”

The boy’s face lights up with a bright smile as he walks over to poke Lisa’s cheek and extend a hand to you. “Hi there. I’m Dokyeom. DK.”

His grin is infectious, and you find some of your inhibitions melting away under the heat of it. Between Minghao, V, Annie, Jin, and now Lisa and DK, it seemed like there were actually some pretty kind people working for Sigma. You almost shudder at the idea that you are now counting V as kind even though he kidnapped you.

Lisa interrupts your thoughts, placing a hair net in your hand. “Make conversation later. Breakfast time.” She looks to you with more soft compassion in her features. “You can stand back here, Y/N. Pretty soon you’ll be here on the front lines with us.” She winks as she turns back towards the counter. You stuff your contained but untamed hair--only made more unruly by your attempt to use Annie’s brush--into the net, short, thick curls threatening to burst through.

Jin stands beside you as people enter the scramble, first in a trickle, then in a flood of bobbing heads and groggy conversation. Lisa and DK handle the rush like pros, and the others--Xiumin and Amber, you learn--work beside them like well-oiled machines.

“What do you think, Y/N?” Jin asks. “Think you could manage alongside these fine folks?” He beams with pride at his crew.

You nod, smiling at him. “I really think I can.”

Your observation time in the kitchen ends at about 4 when the other crew comes in to relieve the staff.

“Training time,” Lisa informs you, hanging up her apron and shedding her hair net. She slips her hand into yours again. “Come on, I’ll take you out to the Compound for the basics.”

You vaguely remember V mentioning a training compound, but you hadn’t taken much note of it, assuming you’d never have to set foot in it. The two of you take the elevator to the ground floor and make your way to the doors at the building’s backside. Lisa strides towards a warehouse a few hundred yards away with you in tow.

Inside, the air is heavy with sweat and grunts of exertion. A few men and women jog laps around a track, while others do weight work or practice hand-to-hand combat. You catch sight of V, clad in gray sweatpants and a striped tank top drenched in perspiration. He swings at Jun who dodges the punch gracefully and launches a kick that V avoids just as skillfully.

You hadn’t realized the two boys were so strong, but V’s arms flex formidably with hard-earned musculature and Jun’s shorts reveal toned calves worthy of envy. Out of instinct, Jun turns and catches you staring. You swallow hard and duck your head to hide the blush flowering in your cheeks. Jun laughs.

“Let’s break for a minute, Tae,” he says as V spots you. The two of them jog over.

“Y/N!” he calls happily as he comes to a stop breathlessly in front of you, his joy-filled smile breaking across his face. “Hey, Lisa. You working with Jungkook today?”

“Mm-hmm,” Lisa replies. “Thought I might as well take the opportunity to bring Y/N down here to start training.”

V purses his lips. “So soon? Do you think you’re ready to handle that, Y/N?”

“I-I guess so,” you stammer, still flustered. You scold yourself; you never used to be so easily rattled in the face of potential disaster, but you suppose things are different here amongst mobsters and murderers.

“She’ll be fine,” Jun insists. “Hoseok and I won’t run her into the ground on her first day. Come on, Y/N. Let’s go get you some gear and get started.” Jun flashes a grin and turns on his heel, motioning for you to follow. He takes you to a towering rack against the building’s east wall, and leans against the metal with his elbow as he scans the shelves critically. He pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a loose tank top. “Here you go. Ladies’ locker room’s here--” He points towards the door to the rack’s right. “--and I’ll meet you back here once you’ve changed. And don’t worry, these are clean.”

You thank Jun and disappear into the locker room to slip into the athletic clothes. When you come back out, he stands chatting with a boy about an inch taller than you with black hair molded off his forehead by a handful of gel.

“Y/N, this is Hoseok. The two of us are in charge of training rookies, so you’ll be under our supervision for the next few months.”

Hoseok eyes you skeptically, taking in your anxious figure. “You’re somaticizing.”

“What?” you ask, startled.

“You’re nervous, and it’s showing,” he clarifies with a smirk. You flush and avoid his gaze.

“It's alright, Y/N,” Jun chuckles. “You probably didn't expect to have to train alongside us, right?”

“I didn't think…” You bite your lip. “That I-I would...be, like, a part of the g-gang.”

Jun tentatively lays a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry. You won't be going on missions with us. This is for your own safety. There'll be days when you'll be antsy, where you’ll want to get out and get back in the public. And those days will be dangerous because you'll be exposed. You need to know how to protect yourself.”

You sigh with relief, your eyes fluttering shut. “Oh.”

“You didn't really think we'd send you out to fight, did you?” Jun asks incredulously. “We didn’t bring you in here as a recruit. We wouldn’t trick you like that.”

There is vulnerability and honesty in his eyes, and you let yourself believe him.

He flicks his hair out of his eyes as he lets go of your shoulder and jerks his thumb behind him. “Come on. Let’s go establish some baselines.”

Jun accompanies you around the track for two laps, casually chatting with you, and while V, Annie, Jin, and the kitchen staff seem like they’ll ease your transition, it is Jun that you feel most comfortable around. Something about him is oddly authentic. Not that the others are liars, but Jun has an air about him like he has nothing to hide, like he would answer every question you asked him about the crimes he’s committed, the people he’s hurt. And there’s a certain calm you find in that.

“Is Jun your real name?”

“Yes. Junhui, actually, but Jun has been my name forever.” His voice is steady and controlled, while yours wavers as you struggle to draw in breath.

“Why the blue hair?” you pant out.

He chuckles lightly. “Why not?”

Hoseok isn’t nearly as personable, appraising you with a critical eye after each test. Something about his gaze makes you shy in your performance. You can lift thirty-five pounds, but with Hoseok watching you, your arms shake at fifteen. You catch him quirking a cruelly amused eyebrow at the sight, which makes your face redder with exertion and embarrassment.

When the evening rolls around, Hoseok dismisses you curtly. You flop down on a bench, breathing heavily. Jun sits beside you a moment later. He is back in his street clothes.

“You waited?” you pant out.

“Yeah, of course,” he replies with a kind smile. “Didn’t want to leave you all alone after Hoseok just worked you like that.”

You shake your head. “Yeah, what is his deal? He’s really prickly.”

Jun throws his head back and laughs. “Hoseok is one of the nicest people here.” You frown at Jun like he’s lost his mind. “Trust me. He’s just all business when it’s time to be all business.” You look over and see Hoseok chatting with Yoongi as they straighten up the weights station. Hoseok says something, and you see Yoongi smile for the first time. “Also, Yoongi is his best friend, so he’s probably had his opinion of you tainted prematurely.” You groan and put your head in your hands. Of course they were friends. “Don’t worry. If anyone can get over bias quickly, it’s Hobi. He’ll ease up on you soon. Really,” Jun reassures you, patting your knee. “You hungry?”

“I’m sweaty.”

Jun laughs again. “Then go hit the showers, and then we’ll get dinner.”

You nod, and make your way to locker room again. True to his word, Jun is still there when you reemerge, feeling much cleaner and, indeed, much hungrier. This time, he is talking to a black-haired man a little shorter than him.

“Ah, you ready now, Y/N?” Jun asks as you approach. The man he was talking to turns, and you recognize him as the other conversationalist from Namjoon’s office. He tilts his head and flashes you a sly, confident smile.

“Settling in okay, Y/N?” he asks in a gravelly baritone.

“Y-Yes,” you manage.

“Have you met Seungcheol?” Jun gestures to the man, who holds out a hand for you.

“Only briefly,” Seungcheol answers. You shake his hand with a firm grip.

“Seungcheol’s one of the big three,” Jun explains. “He’s the head of the covert operations division here. My division,” he adds with pride.

“Leader of the Intelligence Unit,” he says, tipping his head with a wink, “Choi Seungcheol. Ever at your service.”

“Well, it’s nice to officially be introduced, Seungcheol.” You return his charming grin with a much shyer smile. He withdraws his hand and slides it into the pocket of his black slacks. You don’t mean to look him up and down, but you take in his classy, well-dressed figure, tailored black shirt tucked into his ebony pants with a silver buckled belt. He radiates shadowy power. Seungcheol flicks his hair out of his eyes.

Jun claps his hands. “Dinner, everyone?”

The three of you chat casually as you walk to the mess. Much to your horror, Jun leads your small party to where Hoseok sits, Yoongi’s unreadable eyes flashing to your face as you seat yourself between Jun and Seungcheol. He casts his scrutiny back down to his food after an agonizing moment and doesn’t bring up the elephant resting in your past interactions and looming in your half of the present.

“It was a decent max, Y/N,” Hoseok says suddenly, drawing your attention to him. His eyes still hold that glimmer of analysis. “Not really good by most standards, but a decent starting point.” He takes a bite of his dinner and looks at Yoongi briefly with the hint of a mischievous smile. “You’d never be part of my team, that’s for sure.”

Being mocked restores some of your fighting spirit; you’d never been one to take condescension and patronizing lightly. You put your fork down deliberately and furrow your eyebrows. “And what team is it that you’re part of, exactly?”

Hoseok looks taken aback. “I’m the head of our Combat Unit,” he says matter-of-factly as he swallows.

You toss your hair, and Jun eyes you with surprise at your boldness. “The head of the Combat Unit? Because I’ve been told there’s only three bosses here, and if I recall, none of their names matched yours.”

Now it’s Yoongi’s turn to look surprised. He stares at you like you’ve just sprouted a third eye in the middle of your forehead.

The laugh that starts in Hoseok’s chest is small at first, almost dry and humorless, but it blossoms into a miniature fit of hysteria. He can barely get the words out between giggles. “The Combat Unit is a subunit of Seungcheol’s Intelligence Team.” You’re determined to keep your gaze fixed on Hoseok, but you see Seungcheol nod out of the corner of your eye in confirmation. “We’re the most elite group of fighters in Sigma, and I’m in charge of training every single member.” His laugh renews itself as embarrassment curls around your throat.

The leader of a damn subunit...the most elite subunit in all of Sigma.

Your hubris has cost you.

Cheeks burning, you sit up straighter at the table, determined to preserve the little bit of pride that remains in you. “Just because you can fight like a badass,” you mutter as you stab at a tomato in your salad, “doesn’t mean you have to be an ass to me.”

Seungcheol chokes on his drink, and Jun shoots you a look of bewilderment. Seungcheol throws an arm around your shoulder after he cleans his chin with a napkin.

“I like this one,” he laughs. Yoongi rolls his eyes with a scowl and goes back to ignoring your existence while Hoseok sniffs, gaze flitting unaffectedly across your face before he gives a brief smile and starts up a discussion with Jun.

You are grateful that Seungcheol monopolizes conversation time with you for the rest of dinner, but you can’t help but glance at Hoseok every few minutes, trying to convey how irritated he’s made you after only knowing you for a few hours.

You are surprised every time you lift your eyes to him that his gaze is already on you.

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