#BUT i personally dont dislike the feature i think it fits in well i just dont like the song as a whole

[virtuangel]

anyways this is for vyvy n vyvy only

farewell, neverland > sugar rush ride > devil by the window > tinnitus > happy fools

[nothing-nothing454545]

i hate hazbin because the writing is all over the place and the fact they market what it is as a queer and progressive show pisses me off, you hate it because the art style has angles and that one guy has animal ears. we are not the same

[scummrevisited]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

[echoesofadream]

Thank you so much for being so kind and thoughtful in your reply, I'm not used to that amount of kindness on the internet. Thank you for not taking offense! I never meant any.

This is about to be a bit of a mess as I reply to your reply.

What I meant by saying that an eastern artist who learned more about misogyny and such through interaction with western culture would probably expect westerners to know better and so would trust them enough not to really think too much into their lyrics. At least, the people I know who've been through such a process tend to think that way.

I see what you're saying about the MV. I agree, the MV is problematic, though only at the Harlow parts. I don't expect that JK has thought as deeply about that part as we have to realize the problem (by deeply, I mean we have it built into us to look for that sort of thing, while he tends to have an optimistic fun approach to things, especially these last couple of songs, and does not always look into the underlying tones), and I wish the director had not made it like that, but yeah. It is JK's song.

I understand misandry, and I absolutely do not think there's anything wrong with you not liking songs about sex, or heterosexual sex, or any song. I generally don't care for overtly sexual songs myself. Or at least, I'm a bit picky about them.

I also dislike the trend of Jungkook's music right now, but it has only been two songs. Not only that, but they aren't that personal to him. He's picked these songs to sing because he likes the fun vibes and he really hasn't overthought it (we are all obviously analyzing the meanings of the little things in it, especially the negative things, but he did not), and it helps him possibly break out of his baby image. I just think these sort of lack his personal touch. I mean the devotion in Seven and the fun lightheartedness of the MV fit him, like with Left and Right, and I did see bits of that in 3D as well, but I just think 3D really lacks his personal touch. Like it's someone else's idea of a pop star. But Jungkook has said he wants to try many different genres, and he is experimenting. I really hope the album showcases more of his personal talents. Especially since he's so talented in so many things. I guess these features make it easier to break into the Western market, but they are so unnecessary (and I liked Latto's verse in Seven). If JK wants rap in his song, he is totally capable of doing it himself, he is good enough for that. I just really hope his album shows more of his involvement, as the only thing he's really doing in these songs is singing them. At least with Tae's album (which I loved), even though he didn't write or produce for it, but it was his. You could tell just from the vibes and the overall direction how big of a hand he had in it. 3D doesn't seem JK. I hope his album does.

And if you see JK, he's so soft and sweet, and it's obvious he never means any harm. That's the one thing I am 100% certain of.

Nothing wrong with being a hater on your own blog, of course! I'm not trying to change your mind on anything, I just wanted to express my thoughts to someone, and I guess you were unlucky enough to be chosen. I'm sorry if I came across as rude at any point, that's not my intention at all. I love hearing your thoughts.

haha no worries

I really cant speak for that which you said about western vs eastern artists. I think it's very strange if an eastern artist would think, of all people, that a male rapper singing about women is probably 100% harmless. thats mind boggling to me. If jungkook is that clueless hes... like I just doubt it. also I dont know if BTS learned about misogony through the west lol. feminism is a pretty big movement in South Korea you know! let me refer you to this post about namjoon for example: https://leepacey.tumblr.com/post/722599357746216960/bts-member-namjoons-history-with-misogyny-and You can see it's not very umm west-focused. because he is korean. Sure I see your point about jungkook not thinking deeply about this. I dont think so either, and I honestly hope that he is as clueless as you think even though thats not good enough to evade responsibility. I guess you mean he has no intention of harm? I also dont think so. but at the end of the day, the fact that he can look at a music video like this and proudly present it – even if he hasn't put a lot of thought to it– means that somewhere his beliefs and values are ok with such content. wait im not sure how to explain this well..I mean like, he wouldnt have to think so much, because what this mv presents is pretty on the nose and one thing we know is that jungkook didnt oppose to any of it. like the fact that as far as we know he didnt feel any aversion is enough for me to judge him

i kinda agree with everything you said about jungkooks music. Im starting to feel like maybe music as a solo artist isnt for him, and that he saves that for BTS *shrug* like you said hes just having fun right now and not taking it too deeply or seriously. "someone else's idea of a pop star." FOR REAL goddd . Honestly yeah we shouldn't judge his whole future solo career based of what hes doing right now. Like I mean, we should judge this as its own things and then see what he does next. like his album. seriously all hes doing rn is try and appeal to the Western market like you said. and thats like. ok do that but im not gonna be invested or care for it.

"At least with Tae's album (which I loved), even though he didn't write or produce for it, but it was his. You could tell just from the vibes and the overall direction how big of a hand he had in it." YES!!!!!!

"And if you see JK, he's so soft and sweet, and it's obvious he never means any harm. That's the one thing I am 100% certain of." lol you are more confident than me and trust him way more than me, good for you honestly. For the most part I agree but I also dont know him and there have been some red flags honestly. and I know twitter armys would have me executed for saying that but its what I feel, I dont trust men and whether we like to admit it or not he is a 26 year old man they are pretty bad as a demographic.

nothing about what you said was rude and I didnt mind your asks at all! its totally fine you can express your opinions here whenever you want I love asks actually and i could talk about bts all day I already do it in my head so

[mattressdemon]

bitching about narrative design in bioware games part 2

to summarize part 1 quickly, i bitched a bit about how bioware wrote some characters and designed some parts of the narrative of baldurs gate 1 and 2. they killed the only black woman in the og bg games for a (supposedly) white man’s pain (minsc) and then offered a replacement in the form of a white woman (aerie).

while complaining about bg1 and 2 could stand all on its own, the reason i wanted to talk about those things in particular is to highlight the way bioware writes and designs characters and stories in their later titles, like mass effect, but especially dragon age. i do particularly pick on the writing of david gaider and lukas kristjanson and a little bit on patrick weekes, but this is not meant to be a personal jab at any of them or say anything about their character or beliefs.

overall i think a lot of the way bioware frames certain characters and manipulates the dialogue of certain characters is really more questionable than allowing for actual critical thought. the best examples of my issues with this are cullen, aveline, fenris, dorian and sera. also a special shout out for jacob from mass effect. you might notice that ive now named four characters that lukas kristjanson wrote for; minsc, aveline, sera, and jacob. that doesnt mean i dislike how he writes all of his characters: i actually really enjoy carver and joker, for example.

my issues with the way he wrote these characters directly relates to over-utilization of stereotypes, writing dialogue that sometimes sounds bizarrely out of character, and combine both of those with poor levels of representation in all of the bioware titles.

aveline, while a very enjoyable character (imho) says things that i think directly contrast how she actually thinks and feels in game. she makes many degrading and insulting comments directly at isabela (who was confirmed as a black woman by gaider) about her sexuality and i feel like its honestly really uncharacteristic of her, given how often she finds herself agreeing with a pro-mage hawke throughout the story and how strongly she feels about the real protection and care of people. this is an issue for multiple reasons:

1. isabela is only one of two black female companions in the dragon age franchise, and she does not even have black facial features (she looks pretty european to me, leaving vivienne as the only black woman in the series with black facial features). contrast that to 12 white female companions throughout dragon age including DLCS, and three white female temporary companions (not including merrill, as i already counted her).

2. isabela is expressive and open with her sexuality in a way only one other female character is, and morrigan isn’t even near to the degree that isabela is. also, isabela is bisexual, and the narrative plays hard against characters that are bisexual/pansexual and simultaneously considered slutty (they have one each game! zevran, isabela, iron bull).

3. isabela is a swashbuckler/rogue with a spotty history irt loyalty, again reinforcing stereotypes of characters that are bisexual or bipoc being untrustworthy or of dubious morality.

and none of this would have mattered if there were more black and bisexual/pansexual characters in the series. weekes’ comment about not wanting to make solas black and bisexual because he didnt want to fall into a stereotype? null and void if there were more black and/or bisexual characters in the franchise. representation matters.

i love fenris too! and you know what i hate? people writing GOTCHA dialogue that doesnt even fit a character just to push a devils advocate agenda.

the conversation in question is between fenris and anders in act 2.

fenris: there, your magic would be a mark of honor. apprenticed to the right magister, you would do well.

anders: so they all do those things?

fenris: just the ones who don’t complain about how powerless and persecuted they are.

“just the ones who dont complain about how powerless and persecuted they are” shut the fuck up. why would this come out of fenris’ mouth at all, ever? bruh gaider wrote his storyline, he knows this doesnt make sense. he has to. doesnt he???

and i feel like da2, but especially inquisition, does this a lot. they shove a lot of dialogue into the game that kinda gives you a GOTCHA sorta vibe, like they’re just tryin to snag the inquisitor on bs.

this happens with dorian in inquisition too. if you play a dalish elf inquisitor, theres an entire conversation with him about slavery in tevinter. while the game spends the entire narrative effectively shitting on a dalish inquisitor for being proud of their dalish culture and heritage, dorian is often praised by the narrative for being nationalistic and proud of tevinter’s culture and history. in the conversation, it feels more like dorian is talking at the inquisitor rather than having a thoughtful and engaging discussion about slavery and why his perspective on it might be different. i dont have screencaps off hand atm, but it’s right there in the game, if you have a copy, go play it.

in contrast, in dragon age origins, you can have a conversation with leliana with a dalish warden wherein she says some hurtful things about dalish elves, things that are typically associated with real life stereotypes about indigenous people, like them being “savage” “brutish” or “lazy”. and by the end of the conversation, no matter what you say or do, she apologizes. she says she was wrong to say those things, and she’s sorry, and she won’t do it again. that’s an effective dialogue about serious issues in a video game!!!! not whatever bullshit that dorian conversation was.

and last but not least: sera and jacob. sera is a great character, and yet, she is the only companion who you can actively dismiss / rudely ask her to leave the inquisition throughout the entire game and in every single conversation. the narrative frames this 20 year old (she is YOUNG!!!! who ISNT annoying sometimes when they’re young???) lesbian as an irritant, and most people walk away from inquisition disliking sera. consistently ppl shit on sera throughout the game, and the narrative itself likes to make her an enemy to the inquisitor, make it feel/seem wrong that she constantly questions authority, when so many other characters are shown in a positive light for doing and saying the exact same shit she does. this is part of a larger issue bioware has in general with writing elven women in dragon age (see also the framing of merrill in da2 and velanna in the expansion for origins, awakening).

do i even have to start on jacob? black man with a heart of gold and a deadbeat, creepy, abusive father? then he “cheats” on shepard in mass effect 3 and the narrative gives you the option to punch him? he didn’t even know if shepard was going to be released from custody!!! he knew the reapers were coming and he didn’t know if he would ever see her again!!!! of course some people will feel his actions were a betrayal, but its all ignorant of the circumstances he was in. its not no two years thought dead thing that everyone is okay with excusing (virmire romance), but it’s certainly fucking close.

tl;dr: i hate how bioware frames characters and designs narratives sometimes. if someone ever reads this that works at bioware: please hire more bipoc and queer designers.

edit: someone showed me info about minsc’s culture based on something separate from what I was originally taught, so i retract the stuff about his culture not fitting his physical design! but i left it here because it’s what i originally wrote.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[rakimaiirisa]

what are Arisa's tastes in partners in the: physical sense (face, body features, etc) as well as personality wise (caring, stoic, good with kids, etc)? and what do you think are the reasons for them? (if it is just because that's what you yourself are into that is a valid reason but it is also fun to make up a reasoning for your character) and if not for Vilkas, who would she pick for her lover?

Hmm.... the creator part of me would say looks dont matter to her, but the muse that exists in my head says its eyes and the vibe the person gives off give her which is why I kinda laugh because she disliked Vilkas when they first met. He was rude and sarcastic as hell with her. But as they spent time training, studying, and later on doing missions with him, she saw a different side to him. How much he pushed her to better herself and believed she could could do anything even when she thought she couldn't. Lol Im going to end up rambling abit 😅

Personality wise, she loves how tsundere Vilkas is. As for why? Because underneath that grumpy ass exterior is a man who loves his family deeply. That he would do whatever it takes to make sure that her and their children are safe and would never need anything. That he can make her laugh or make smile and vice versa. That he is passionate as fk when they are together and expresses it with every touch, every look, and in every single thing he does. And it's only for her will that side of him let loose and express itself freely. Its something she appreciates and adores about him. As cliche as it sounds, He is her rock and she cant picture her life without him.

Ya know, originally I had intended for her to be with Farkas. In some ways, they fit, both being kind hearted and easygoing. But Farkas would be her yes man and she doesn't need that. Vilkas is very opinionated much to her annoyance at times. But she needs that. She needs to be made aware that not all her decisions are always going to be the best ones for this or that scenario. Its not that she is weak minded but she tends to be kind/merciful at times when the situation calls for a harsher hand. So they talk and they will see each others viewpoints and its those talks that help her get a clearer idea on what is best. but in the end, he still stands by any decision she ends up making. Now if not Vilkas, I would pair her with Absjorn. Absjorn is my male skyrim oc and is very stoic . I did pair him with Farkas as I could see Farkas breaking through that serious side and helping him see that the world is not always meant to taken so seriously at times. I imagine Arisa would do the same for him.

[louiserandom]

Play Games with Me

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara | Rating: E

A/N: Commission for the amazing @rookie-d​💙💗 thank you so much! *hugs* 

Read on AO3 or continue under the cut :3 Ko-fi and fic commission info in the header!

Tobirama SenJERK has never had sex in his life, Madara types, as always brimming with spite when it comes to his least favorite person in town. Maybe on the planet.

Rereading the comment and satisfied that there aren’t any typos or any hint whatsoever at some kind of hidden affection (which isn’t there, never was and never will be, Madara reminds himself firmly), he hits ‘Comment.’

“Take that, you dumbass,” Madara mutters under his breath, and really, this could be classified as childish, were he not completely in the right to take vicious revenge upon the fucking asshole who dared refer to Madara as ‘so idiotic it’s pitifully adorable’ on his last stream. Hah! Like Tobirama isn’t the less intelligent one of the two of them; Madara has watched enough of his Uncharted 4 gameplay to note that Tobirama took twelve seconds longer than him to figure out arguably the most difficult puzzle in the game. And although Madara’s sub count doesn’t quite reflect his superior intellect compared to Senju’sーnot that he’s checked in a whileーit’s likely a testament to the viewers’ total lack of taste, if anything else.

(Two thousand, nine hundred and thirty four viewer’s, to be precise, according to this morning’s stats and minus the handful of Madara’s fake accounts that he created just in case to keep up with his chief competitor. Admittedly, it might be a tad annoying.)

A notification pipes up.

Hm, I wonder how you’d know that, MaddyGamerboy? Are you stalking me? I must admit, I’m flattered.

Madara sputters at the reply. At yet another butchering of his perfectly adequate nickname. The fucking nerve of the guyーand people fucking wonder why Madara hates his guts?

(Madara knows it doesn’t really help his case that he’s touched himself to fantasies of the younger Senju more times than he’d care to count, but hate-fucking a thing isn’t it? Hate-masturbation must be too, he supposes. Not the healthiest outlet for negative feelings, but it makes him feel good enough.)

(Heavenly, to be precise.)

I AM NOT, YOU SELF-OBSESSED DUMBASS, Madara types, simultaneously taking care of the half-a-dozen typos that appear of their own accord.

No.

Deep breath. Stop fingers from shaking. Think about something witty to say.

Pff, he writes, for lack of any better word to express his indignant huff, like I give a shit about you. You’re dumb.

It did sound much better in his head, but Madara has spent over a minute writing the comment already, and he doesn’t want to appear as if he’s thinking too hard on it.

He posts his answer, not dwelling too match on the number of likes on Tobirama’s comment far outnumbering the hundred Madara’s garnered. Again, Tobirama’s audience is clearly not the best judge of character.

“FUCK. YOU. SIDEWAYS, SENJU!” Madara shouts at the reply that follows, consisting only of the words:

Thanks for the sub btw.

“You fucking piece of shit,” Madara hisses. “Like eight fucking fake accounts do anything to boost your stats, I don’t even like all your videos from each one of them, you ass!”

I DID NOT SUB DONT BELIEVE HIM

I’m happy to have another loyal fan ;)

HE IS FUCKING LYEING!!!

With seemingly every single person in the comments raving about how it’s about time MadGamer69 and admitted he admires FlyingThunderGod’s skill, Madara has to consciously restrain himself from smashing his laptop against the wall.

“You can just tell him you like him, you know.”

Madara startles, almost stumbling to the floor when Hashirama returns with their drinks and quickly put-together snacks, always the one to rummage through Madara’s kitchen because Madara hardly cares what edible and inedible things existed there or what to do with themーthat’s Izuna’s job.

“I do not,” Madara snarls, as Hashirama flops next to him on the couch, “like that stupid clusterfuck you call a brother!”

“Madara!” Hashirama whines, with that ever-present pout on his face. “Be civil.”

“Yeah, when he returns the favor,” Madara glowers, grabbing a milkshake from Hashirama’s hand. “Did you forget that he fucking started it? Do I need to quote his “pitifully adorable how so much stupidity can fit in such a short man” again?” Madara can’t help flailing his arms a little, though far too conscious of this habit now since the Tobirama has started pointing it out. He makes up for it with what he hopes is a deadly enough glare. “Did no one in your family bother to teach him manners? Did you?”

Hashirama only sighs. “And did you forget,” he asks, “how before that you abused my invitation over to our place to hide his Golden Youtube Gamer Tablet?”

Madara groans. “It’s called a Gold Play Button. Idiot.”

“Now you’re insulting me,” Hashirama grumbles, “and who cares? The point is, you’d be upset too if he hid yours.”

“Youtubers care,” Madara says, “and also, that’s irrelevant, that was revenge for him making fun of my perfectly adequate gameplay.”

“To be fair, you were dying quite a lot in that playthrough...”

“He took twelve seconds longer to figure out that puzzle in the game!” Madara growls.

Hashirama rolls his eyes. “Well, of course, because that Yellow Flash guy was flirting and distracting him in the chat.”

Madara blanches. "That good-for-nothing pipsqueak was what?”

“See,” Hashirama drawls, “you are jealous. Why would you be jealous?”

“I-I’m not!”

“Madara, you are so far in denial, that as your best friend,” Hashirama says firmly, slapping a hand over Madara’s mouth before he can muster another protest, “I cannot stand by and watch you suffer. Anymore, that is, because this has reached a breaking point. So, please, for me, I am begging you, just try politely asking if maybe Tobirama would like to accompany you for coffee somewhere tomorrow? Maybe brunch? I mean, come on, I know you guys don’t hate each other anymore. Seriously, you guys seem like you enjoy arguments, and hey, who am I to judge how people express affection?”

“Affection?!” Madara shrieks, shoving Hashirama’s hand away.

“And please stop pretending you don’t have printed out screenshots of my brother’s videos hidden under your mattress because Izunaー”

“Is a fucking snooping rat!” Madara hisses.

Hashirama sighs. “If it helps you feel better, maybe Tobirama might possibly not feel extreme dislike towards you but actually the opposite,” he says, smiling nervously as Madara blanches.

Because... what?

He blinks, running Hashirama’s words through his mind again.

“And how would you know that?” he asks, suspicious. “I swear if you dared tell him anything about my possibly nonexistent feelingsー”

“Possibly?” Excitement starts bubbling in Hashirama’s eyes. “That’s progress!”

“Definitely nonexistent feelings, dammit!”

Hashirama, the asshole Madara calls best friend for some reason, giggles. “Don’t worry, I didn’t. I promise, stop glaring or I will start pouting,” he threatens, and Madara schools his expression back into a light scowl to avoid the infamous Senju pout.

Like a curse, memories of said pout curling Tobirama’s lips spring to mind, and Madara has to physically shake his head to banish those thoughts.

“Listen, the fact that we’re not as... aggressive as we used to be,” Madara says, “doesn’t mean we suddenly like each other.”

“Madara, you insist on coming along every time we hang out,” Hashirama points out.

“I like hanging out with you.”

“Yet every time we do,” Hashirama presses on, “you’re hyperfocused on bickering with Tobirama instead of talking about wholesome stuff with me. Did you even notice that I brought Mito with me the past few times and it was literally a double date?”

“Was not!” Madara shoves at Hashirama with his shoulder and stands up to pace, because there goes the tell-tale sweating of his hands, the fluttering in his chest and stomach and the memoriesーof him and Tobirama secretly filming the other on camera when they do stupid shit, their almost daily Best Playground Insult Contest that’s been memed half to death on Twitter, the one time they got separated from Hashirama and Izuna in Disneyland because they’d got caught in their arguments so much it devolved into discussing their favorite games and an actual conversation that had Madara’s insides tingling.

No.

No, no, no. If anything, they were just gradually becoming something not unlike friends. And Madara’s occasional fantasies behind closed doors were nothing but a means to a pleasant end.

Not. Feelings.

No matter how much he’s grown attached to the site of messy, white-gray hair that he knows is soft to the touch from all the times he’s tugged on it to irritate him. No matter how piercing Tobirama’s unique red eyes may look. No matter how objectively hot his recent workout routine video wasーand Madara knows he’d only watched it so many times because he wants to improve his own routine, right?

Right?

Madara groans. “Why are emotions so fucking confusing!” He slumps onto the floor and wraps his arms around his knees, hitting his head over and over again on his kneecaps because, “I don’t even know what I want from him, okay?”

There’s a brief silence before Hashirama joins him and keeps him from abusing his head further. “How about,” Hashirama suggests, rubbing a comforting hand on his back, “you just ask? Listen, he’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. You two fighting less and at least making an effort to get to know each other better?” Hashirama brings out the puppy dog eyes. “That would mean the world for me.”

Madara glances at him before looking away again, focusing on a random photo of the wall. One featuring Tobirama right after his university graduation with a wide smile on his face. Quite the adorable face, too, and the unprompted thought makes Madara want to descend into oblivion. Preferably forever.

“That’s difficult,” he says lamely.

“But not impossible,” Hashirama says, “and hey, it’s better than waiting for the Yellow Flash guy to actually make a move on Tobi and start occupying all of his time. He’s a really big fan.”

“Fuck Minato,” Madara scoffs, “the guy just showed up and is just shamelessly emulating Tobirama’s style. That’s dumb.”

“Dumber than you claim Tobi is?” Hashirama prompts.

Madara thinks about it. “You know what? Yes.”

“As I saidーprogress!”

Madara can never go through with his impulses to punch his well-meaning best friend, and so grabs the nearest pillow from the couch and smashes it into Hashirama’s face to shut him up.

Tobirama returns home only to find Hashirama and Madara standing by the front door, frowning as they watched something that sounded like a tsunami of some kind.

“Listen, it’s gotta be one of those black holes or something twisting that vortex. Look how stuff disappears right into it!” is his brother talking, and Tobirama is already heaving a frustrated sigh.

Please don’t tell me you think there’s a black hole on Earth.

“There’s no black holes on Earth, idiot! The nearest one is way off, like near Pluto or something,” Madara says.

Ah. Even better. Tobirama chuckles under his breath, crosses his arms and leans against the wall, observing the two idiots he knows and loves.

He mentally kicks himself.

Well, one of them, he loves. Of course he loves his brother.

The other is... complicated.

“And besides, that could just be the Loch Ness monster or a cthulhu or something. See how dark the water is?”

“Or maybe,” Tobirama says, making them both jump, “it’s a natural phenomenon that’s a tad too difficult for both your brain cells to comprehend? I’m happy to explain though.”

“I’m happy to see you fuck yourself,” Madara greets him his usual way, scowling despite the exceptionally conspicuous blush painting his cheeks.

The contrast never fails to make Tobirama’s heart beat faster. He hates himself for it.

“Mm, Madara,” Tobirama teases, “not in front of my brother.”

As expected, Madara starts spluttering, and Tobirama is left wondering again how he avoids making a total fool of himself in each and every one of his videos. It seems Madara saves most of his flailing for the comment section.

“You,” Madara snarls, pointing Tobirama’s way, “are an asshole, Senju, but spending time with the better part of society might do you some good. So see you at brunch tomorrow and do not be late.”

And with that, Madara gives Hashirama a cursory wave and stalks off, leaving Tobirama frozen on the spot.

Did Madara just?..

Tobirama blinks, swallowing heavily as he feels his throat running dry and his heart rate pick up.

No fucking way.

He must have imagined it. Through his stupor of trying to figure out what the hell just took place, Tobirama vaguely registers Hashirama’s facepalm.

“Sorry for that,” Tobirama hears his brother speak through the rush in his ears. “He meant, uh, will you please join him for brunch? Tomorrow at 11 am, Eggspectation?”

Tobirama blinks harder.

“I,” he starts, “I don’t... Did you blackmail Madara into asking me out?”

Hashirama looks scandalized. “What? No!”

“Did Madara just ask me out?”

“Well, yes, Tobi.” Hashirama chuckles nervously. “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

Tobirama glares. “The idiot’s wake up text to me today was literally a collection of trashy limerick poems about how much I suck. Sorry if I’m a little skeptical.”

“You,” Hashirama says, wincing as a long-suffering expression settles on his face, “you guys send wake up texts to each other?”

A moment of awkward silence hangs in the air.

“Sometimes,” Tobirama says, defensive, although the damage is already done.

“And you’re still not going out? Tobirama, you do realize he’s in love with you, right?”

“Don’t say things like that, Anija!” Tobirama snaps, hoping the dim lighting in the corridor conceals the blush he can feel heating up his cheeks. Fuck. Now he’s turning Madara. “Yet, I mean.”

“I’ll save the celebrations until after your date then!” Hashirama sing-songs like the idiot he is.

Tobirama resigns to his fate. “I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You’ll thank me for this.”

“If it goes well,” Tobirama glowers though it’s ineffective, really, against his brother’s bubbling positivity, and the sheer awe still coursing through him from Madara asking him out on a fucking date is actually enough to make Tobirama want to hug him. He refrains. "Now, thanks, Anija, but I have work things to attend to.”

“Sure! Just don’t forget, 11ー”

“Eleven eggs and uh, no expectations, got it.”

“Wait, Tobi, noー”

With no time to waste, naturally, Tobirama bolts into their apartment and straight to his room to choose an appropriate outfit. And to mentally prepare himself for something he’s almost given up hoping for.

Tobirama cannotーwill notーmess this up.

Tobirama makes sure to arrive about ten minutes early. Not because he’s worried or nervous, of course; maybe just a little, but mostly just to get his bearings beforeーfinallyーa date with Madara goddamn Uchiha.

Madara, who’s been Tobirama’s stupid crush since high school, and just as in love with gaming as he is, only that didn’t turn out to be such a great bonding point between them, as Tobirama had hopedーbefore he actually got to know his Anija’s best friend.

Madara, who seemed to dislike Tobirama at first sight and only grew to hate him more over the years as they both found more joy in arguing than they did in talking.

Madara, who, despite this, blushes every rare time Tobirama genuinely smiles at him or drops a suggestive joke, who has an arguably unhealthy obsession with Tobirama’s ass which he always ogles when he thinks no one is looking.

Madara, whose plastered ass Tobirama had to drag home the other week, amid drunken speeches about capitalist injustice, some wacky conspiracy behind the disappearance of the dodo bird and... something quite interesting.

 “Listen, Senju,” Madara was slurring against Tobirama’s shoulder, as the latter cursed every single nonexistent god that Hashirama had chosen that fucking day to go on a road trip with Mito, Toka and Izuna, leaving Tobirama in charge of this walking trash fire of a man. “Listen. Tobira... Tobi. Tobirama. You’re so hot.”

The words almost made Tobirama stumble.

“What, Uchiha?”

“And cute... So pretty, too, I wish you could see that...” Madara went on babbling. “I think you do. But still. Wish you could see me like I do. I mean see you. Like I do...”

“Tobira, you’re just, you’re unfair...”

“I hate you and I like you then I love you and I hate you again, why you’reー” A hiccup. “How do you exist...”

“I just want to hold hands and just... walk and talk and be together and...”

Tobirama watched in ever mounting confusion as Madara leaned completely into him, humming as he hugged Tobirama tightly and said,

“Is that too fucking much to ask...”

Tobirama stood, shell-shocked, with Madara whispering impossible nonsense in his arms, wondering if he was in a dream.

 The next day saw Madara returning to his usual self insulting Tobirama at every goddamn opportunity, which left Tobirama... confused.

Confused, and conflicted, and sleepless for the rest of the night, thoughts held captive by the utter idiot whose ultimate goal seems to be to ruin Tobirama’s life.

It’s maddening.

Of course, he’d suspected that Madara’s flailing and constant blushing interspersed with screams and insults (the most creative ones, reserved only for Tobirama, it seemed) were signs of not so much dislike, as the complete opposite. Of course, Tobirama had tried flirting with Madara, just bordering right there on the edge of suggestive, only for his advances to be seen as patronizing or condescending. And hearing Madara speak to him this way, in a drunken stupor no less, when he’d probably have no causeーor abilityーto lie is...

Maddening. Annoying. Exhilarating. A tantalizing opportunity. Maybe a glimmer of hope.

And of course, Tobirama told his brother; they never really had any secrets between them. And of fucking course Hashirama had a hand in convincing Madara to change his usual behavior, which is nice and all, but doesn’t help the nerves wracking through Tobirama’s body, nor the crippling fear that he’s going to somehow screw this up.

But no. Deep breath. Exhale. And remember Anija’s advice.

Tobirama takes the last turn before he’s faced with their meeting place, surprised to find Madara already there.

Even though he’s usually always late. Sitting inside by the window, looking out onto the street with a slight frown, Madara keeps worrying his bottom lip and, apparently, trying to break a spoon.

It paints an endearing picture. Tobirama sighs, feeling a smile tugging at his lips.

This man...

Tobirama comes in, approaching him slowly, allowing himself a few moments to watch Madara needlessly fix his wild mane of hair, appraise his reflection in the spoon, try out several fake-looking smiles before settling on a scowl and going back to his nervous tics again. With another sigh, Tobirama takes the few steps left to his date, repeating Hashirama’s advice over and over in his head.

Just be yourselfーand have fun!

Just a few minutes into their date, it becomes obvious that Madara didn’t get the same advice from Hashirama.

Or just didn’t get the advice, period.

With their orders made and beverages served, they’re left to wallow in a less than comfortable silence, broken only by Madara’s... uncharacteristic attempts at conversation.

“Are you enjoying the tea?” Madara asks Tobirama with all of the softness of a brick wall.

Tobirama isn’t used to the man being eloquent, much less polite, and he has yet to have at least one conversation with Madara that doesn’t devolve into a pissing contest. So theoretically, Tobirama should be enjoying this.

But it only seems wrong. Annoying. Not them.

He tries to recall if, maybe, their first meeting was an adequate exchange? Tobirama thinks to the day Hashirama first introduced them. Only flashes of spilled milkshakes and jibes at intelligence run through his mind, and of course that was the very first time he’d called Madara an idiot pipsqueak, receiving quite the lame ‘stuck-up dandelion’ in turn.

Unsurprising.

“Yes,” Tobirama says, taking another sip as he eyes Madara struggling on the other side of the table. Struggling to do what is the question: either sit straight, or assume a more relaxed posture, or reach towards his own drink, or avoid eye contact, even though he keeps glancing his way when he thinks Tobirama won’t notice. Tobirama does, every time, and that just makes the whole ordeal more awkward. “Nice weather,” Tobirama says, with about as much enthusiasm.

If Madara wants to play this stupid game, Tobirama will indulge. Just to see how long it takes for Madara to break and return to his blustering status quo.

“Yeah...” Madara clears his throat, eye twitching as he manages to hold Tobirama’s gaze for a commendable three seconds this time. “Hate the sun. I meanーI mean I love the sun. Ugh. It just, uh. Burns.”

It’s both saddening and funny to see Madara visibly deflate.

“Skin too sensitive, huh?” Tobirama starts small. “Just like your ego?”

Madara’s jaw clenches and his nervous look shifts into a glare before he looks away again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself down before he flashes an unnaturally cheery smile.

“Heh, nice,” Madara grits through his teeth, “nice joke, Senju.���

Tobirama raises his eyebrow as Madara flinches at his own words.

“I’m glad you appreciate my sense of humor,” Tobirama says, barely reining in a smirk.

“Sure! You’reーyou’re funny.”

“And?”

“And what?” Madara frowns, confused.

“And what else am I?” Tobirama demands, feigning thoughtfulness. “A recent assessment of yours was that I look and act like a self-obsessed dumbass, I think.”

“No-no,” Madara blurts out, looking much a cornered animal, “I think you... you are... you look not at all so terrible today?” he finishes with a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair.

Tobirama wants to scream from the agony.

No. This won’t do, otherwise he might as well leave.

“Can you just call me a stuck-up asshole like you always do or recite one of those horrible limerick disses?” he demands.

Madara actually yelps. “What? No! I mean, wait.” He narrows his eyes. “Why?”

“Because you’re acting weird.”

“We’re on a date, if you were too stupーpreoccupied to get my invitation, Senju,” Madara says, jaw still clenched as he doubtless refrains from swearing, “and I’m being civil!”

That’s the advice he must have gotten from Anija, Tobirama thinks.

What a tragedy.

“Madara,” Tobirama implores, leaning his eyebrows on the table and meeting Uchiha’s gaze, “have you considered thatーI prefer it when you aren’t?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, thank fuck!” Madara slams his hands on the table, heaving a massive sigh as Tobirama laughs in relief. “I was ready to fucking die, you piece of shit! How does your brother stay so fucking kind all the time, it’s fucking torture!”

Tobirama rolls his eyes. “It’s a talent, naturally. Just like your talent at embarrassing yourself and mine at being awesome.”

“You’ve got it a little backwards, Senju,” Madara sneers, “but it’s excusable, given your level of intellect.”

“Twice as high as yours?” Tobirama parries.

“Twice as little.”

“That’s more like it,” Tobirama says, grinning despite himself, “I thought you were a decoy or something. You’ve told me to fuck off every single day since we first met and this was getting worrisome.”

Madara’s laugh is sudden, melodic, sending those irritating tingling sensations through Tobirama’s body. He makes an effort to appear outwardly calm.

“Maybe because you managed to piss me the fuck off every day that I’ve known you,” Madara scoffs, “but you’re all right sometimes. I guess.” He shrugs, feigning nonchalance even as he keeps nervously fixing and running his fingers through his hair.

A stupid, tantalizing habit. Tobirama imagines carding his own hands through the messy locks, tugging Madara’s head back toー

He forcefully aborts the thought process before he’s faced with a problem of the harder kind. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll try to strangle each other when we game together.”

“We’re playing today?” Madara asks.

Tobirama tilts his head to the side.

“You haven’t planned one gaming session after our date?”

“Um,” Madara says, blinking rapidly, “why should I be the one with the plan?”

“Because you’re the one who invited me,” Tobirama deadpans. And anyway, Madara is always the one to egg Tobirama on to gaming, which would usually only ever lead to semi-playful brawls and their fighting making Hashirama cry.

And without Anija there to assault them with his antics, Tobirama wonders what their play-fighting might lead to... and promptly shuts off those thoughts again. Control, dammit.

Madara opens his mouth, then closes it, sighs explosively and says, “All right, fair enough. But you’re the strategy pro here. And my thing is RPGs.” He smirks. “I can improvise.”

And Madara does, in fact, improvise, leading Tobirama on what he hopes is a satisfying daylong adventure. It’s strange, walking by themselves around Konoha without anyone else with them (not that they’ve taken to ignoring Hashirama and Mito anyway on their most recent group outings), free to talk about and do anything they want. Strange and perfect, the way Tobirama switches between poorly concealed bashfulness and his usual confidence, as their jokes and jibes at each other, every little prank they pull never fails to make them both laugh.

It’s perfect.

Just like Tobirama’s smile is, directed at him without any pretenses as they set off to explore the lush, gigantic forest surrounding the city, rumored to be home to mythical, many-tailed creatures. And that’s followed by their forays into an abandoned chemistry lab; the scares they get in the woods from intermittent growls coming from the shadows are nothing compared to the horror Madara feels when Tobirama insists on touching broken vials and experimental equipment, and going through doors with dilapidated ‘DANGER. CHEMICAL HAZARD’ signs.

“If we’re infected by some deadly and insidious poison,” Madara whispers as they explore the lab’s tunnels, “I’m going to fucking kill you before it does. Painfully.”

“It’s for science,” Tobirama says. “And trust me. We’re safe. I got a degree in this.”

“Youtube is practically your full-time job at this point. What the fuck else do you need?”

“The satisfaction of discovering something cool?”

“And deadly.”

"Unlikely.”

Madara groans, cursing his life, as well as his inability to say no to hisーapparentlyーnew boyfriend.

The boyfriend who’s just discovered another hidden pathway to a deeper level and has scurried off towards it like an excited five-year-old. Despite himself, despite his intent to keep complaining, Madara can’t hold back the grin tugging at his lips.

Still perfect.

Just like their lunch date which turns into a picnic by the Naka river, where Madara remembers meeting Hashirama way back when. Just like the first time Tobirama grasps his hand, fingers gently massaging it as he laughs at Madara stuttering to a stop from whatever rant he’d been on, heart in his throat and mind suddenly focused on whether his palms are too sweaty or not.

His mind goes blank. Eyes focus only on the man in front of him, whom he yearns to strangle just as often as he craves to tackle him onto any surface and ruin him completely. And it should feel wrong, it should be, only Madara hasn’t quite felt so right about anything in a long time, and with every minute they spend with their familiar bickering, just with a layer of something more behind it this time, it becomes harder and harder to deny how good being near Tobirama makes him feel. Happy. Complete.

Madara winces. Oh, gods. He’s waxing poetic now.

All worries about that fly out the window when Tobirama, without so much as a word of warning, leans in and draws Madara by his collar into a kiss.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t spring up to awaken alone in his bed like he always does, after dreams like these.

And, unsurprisingly, it turns out to be Madara’s best kiss to date.

Maybe he’s exaggerating, if just because he’s been craving this so damn much. Tobirama’s lips are hot, gentle, and welcoming against his, a curious tongue darting out to coax Madara’s lips open and deepen the kiss. The delightful drag of his tongue, his hands, rough and demanding on Madara’s chest, waist, thighsーit’s not long before he’s dizzy with it, barely holding back moans of pleasure for fear of sounding too desperate.

“Fuck,” Madara gasps as they pull away for breath, lips still touching as their eyes stay locked and he’s treated to Tobirama’s downright ravenous gaze. “That wasー”

Tobirama cuts him off with another kiss, then another, and it’s not long before they find themselves tangled in a mess of limbs and loose clothing. The hard ground presses against Madara’s back as Tobirama settles on top of him, ravaging Madara’s mouth with a passion that soon has his pants feeling too tight.

Fuck.

He groans, hips thrusting of their own accord and feeling Tobirama's own erection through the fabric.

Madara makes an immense effort to pull away, stifling a whine at the loss of contact.

“Bed,” he says, mortified at his own crudeness far too late after the word comes out. “Fuck, I meantー”

“Yes,” Tobirama growls, capturing Madara’s lips in another open-mouthed kiss before he hauls him up to start gathering their things. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours? Izuna,” Madara rasps, head too clouded to explain more in-depth, but Tobirama seems to understand.

“Anija shouldn’t be back for a while,” Tobirama says, a devastating grin on his face, “lots of time for us to play.”

Gods.

Madara scrambles to his feet fast enough to stumble, and for once, Tobirama has nothing to say about his clumsiness.

They all but crash through the front door, not even bothering to lock it as they rush through a cursory check to make sure Hashirama is out like he said he’d be.

“Fuck, thank the gods,” Tobirama sighs in relief before dragging Madara back into liplock.

Madara can’t hold back a moan this time, heat ratcheting up between them as he wraps his hands around Tobirama’s neck, pulling him closer as they stumble to the couch. Madara ends up straddling him just so that their cocks brush through too-rough clothing, kiss growing urgent and sloppy, as wandering hands touching every inch of uncovered skin.

Clothes fall away, leaving them both shirtless, and Madara needs a few moments to take in the miles of pale skin, so soft to the touch, toned muscles rippling as Tobirama squirms under him, gasps and groans escaping his lips in answer to every one of Madara’s touches. He leans in to mouth Tobirama’s neck, sucking bruising kisses onto the soft skin there pleasure flaring at the base of his stomach each time Tobirama moans and arches against him.

“You’re so sensitive,” Madara whispers, with a hint of incredulity. “That’s... fuck.”

“Yeah,” Tobirama rasps, eyes unfocused, “because... just get on with it.”

“If I knew this is what it took to finally get you to shut up,” Madara chuckles, “I would have tried this a long time ago.”

If he weren’t so sure Tobirama genuinely despised him. Butー

“I fucking wished you would!” Tobirama snaps, though the irritation rings hollow with the breathless tone.

Madara blinks in shock.

“You did?” Madara asks, moving lower to lap at Tobirama’s nipple, sucking the hardened nub into his mouth and eliciting another delicious whimper. “You thought about this? About my hands on you, touching you?”

“Yes!” The desperation in his tone only adds to Madara’s mounting confidence, one that he so rarely ever feels in Tobirama’s presence.

“My mouth on your cock,” he continues, heart hammering against his ribs as he trails kisses lower and lower, “would you like that? While I finger you, getting you ready to take me?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Tobirama’s hips jerk, making them both moan at the friction.

“Off,” Madara grunts, tugging at Tobirama’s pants with one hand as the other works the belt off his own. They scramble, a bit awkwardly, until they’re both naked and sprawled on top of each other, and Madara all but drools at the sight of Tobirama’s cock, hard and straining, beads of precum already leaking from the tip.

Perfect.

It’s tempting to just let go but Madara decides to take his time. Strokes Tobirama’s sides and chest, fingers his nipples, kisses every inch of skin he can reach, sucking bruises and biting slightly. He marvels at every little keen and groan he wrings from Tobirama, relishing how needy he grows with each second, how he moans Madara’s name, curses him and urges Madara to touch him, sliding his dick against his and huffing when Madara doesn’t do anything about it, before finally devolving into pleading.

Just what Madara’s been waiting for.

“Madara, please,” Tobirama’s whines, a soft, desperate sound that makes Madara groan in turn.

“Please what?” he asks, knowing he’s being a tease and enjoying the hell out of it.

Tobirama musters a pretty non-intimidating glare. “Just... fuck.”

“Tell me.”

“Fuck you.”

“Is that what you want?” Madara raises an eyebrow, making sure to wet his lips, letting his tongue gently graze the head of Tobirama’s cock. “I can bottom. I don’t mind.”

“Fuck!” Tobirama squeezes his eyes shut, heavy breathing interspersed with desperate whines. “Just... suck me off. Please. Now.”

“That’s it, Tobirama,” Madara drags out the syllables of his name, a smirk tugging at his lips, “when you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?”

He wraps his lipsーfinallyーaround the head, licking at the salty fluid gathered there, ears ringing from the heady feel of Tobirama’s cock against his mouth, his hands tangling in Madara’s hair, the sounds slipping from Tobirama’s lips that are borderline fucking obscene. Madara takes a breath to brace himself and takes Tobirama a few inches deeper. His length is hot, stiff, and heavy in his mouth as Madara presses the flat of his tongue against the underside, sucking hard, wringing another delectable whimper. Tobirama’s thrusts up, cock hitting the back of his throat, and Madara chokes for a moment, his own dick jerking at the sensation.

“Madara,” Tobirama breathes, “Madara, gods, you feel amazing.”

The words send another rush of pleasure through him, and Madara takes himself in hand to release some of the unbearable tension, stroking himself slowly as he relaxes his throat and sinks down to take Tobirama to the base.

Tobirama’s moan is a sweet, drawn-out melody. One that Madara enjoys making louder and louder as he starts moving, setting a fast-paced rhythm, uncaring for how debauched he may look, drool leaking out of his mouth and coating Tobirama’s cock, throat constricting around it as he takes him deep, lets him stay there, tongue gliding along his shaft. Tobirama soon devolves into barely coherent pleading, until ‘please’, and ‘more’, and Madara’s name are the only words coming out of his mouth.

It’s intoxicating. Overwhelming, far too much. Madara gives up stroking himself, the pleasure ramping up far too quickly, too soon, though Tobirama isn’t doing much better. Madara draws his lips up along his length, lapping up more precum gathered at the head, even as Tobirama’s hips jerk again and the hand in Madara’s hair tightens, urging him back down.

“Madara, please,” Tobirama keens, “I need...”

Madara has a pretty good idea of what he needs. He swirls his tongue over the head, descending again until his nose is pressed against Tobirama’s stomach. Madara swallows around him once, twice, a third time before he feels Tobirama nudging at his shoulder in a warning he doesn’t pay heed to, starting to bob his head again, wrapping his fingers around the base of Tobirama’s cock, using both his mouth and hand to bring him to completion.

“Fuck, Madara, Iー”

Madara lets out a muffled groan once he feels cum spilling against his tongue, swallowing rapidly as Tobirama’s cock pulses, again and again, through an orgasm that has him writhing and and trembling underneath him, hands tightening in Madara’s hair enough to hurt with the kind of tantalizing pain that only adds to the pleasure.

“You feel so fucking good,” Tobirama pants, watching Madara through white lashes, eyes dark and hazy as another shudder runs through him, “fuckーI want...”

Madara releases him with a wet pop. “Want what, Tobirama?” he whispers, voice too hoarse for him to speak properly.

Tobirama grips his shoulders in lieu of an answer, directing Madara to turn around so his back is pressed against his chest.

Then Tobirama’s hand wraps around his cock andーoh.

Madara has pretty much forgotten about his own pleasure, too focused on not coming too soon and making sure Tobirama was enjoying himself.

“My turn,” Tobirama murmurs against his ear, tone still breathless but with a commanding edge to it now that makes Madara shiver, “and lemmeーlet me hear you, Madara.”

Gods. He groans just from the sound of Tobirama’s voice. The feel of his teeth nibbling at his earlobe, his hand setting a quick, harsh rhythm that builds up the pleasure to impossible degrees. Tobirama’s heated skin pressed against his back, his thighs, the fingers of his other hand carding through his hair with a gentleness that contrasts with his harshness before.

It’s too much.

“Go on, Madara.”

Tobirama’s fingers swiping at the precome gathering at the head of Madara’s cock, smearing it over his shaft. His voice, a muffled whisper coaxing Madara to let go, to come for him, to say Tobirama’s nameー

“Just like that, Madara,” Tobirama grunts, “louder for me, come on.”

Madara thrusts into his grip, all but fucking into Tobirama’s fist at this point, moans his name as the heat grows unbearable the closer he gets to release.

“To-bi-rama...” He comes with a broken groan slipping from his lips as cum spills all over his stomach and Tobirama’s hand, each pulse coming stronger than the last, leaving him dizzy and boneless in Tobirama’s arms for however long it takes for his orgasm to abate.

Feels like forever. Probably a lot less. Time does seem to slow down, though, both of them collapsing against each other onto the cushions, breathing raggedly and curling into each other as Madara turns to bury his head in the crook of Tobirama’s neck.

It still seems unreal. Too perfect. So right.

They lie there for a minutes, coming down from the high, limbs tangled and lazy kisses exchanged here and there. Tobirama looks so peaceful, like Madara’s never seen him before: eyes half-lidded, hair messier than ever, sticking in every direction, skin still flushed and marked, all over, with hickeys and teeth marks, the mere sight of which has Madara’s dick stirring in interest, recent orgasm or no.

“You know,” Madara says, hands running over Tobirama’s chest, barely grazing his still sensitive nipples and making him shiver, “if this is the game you want to play, I’m really not against binging it. The rest of the dayーweekend, if you want.” Madara presses a kiss to Tobirama’s neck. “Make the playthrough as thorough as possible.” To his collarbone. “Unlock all achievements and, uh,” Madara trails his hand along Tobirama’s chest to his groin, past his length and to his ass, "explore every location.”

“If that was some thinly veiled euphemism,” Tobirama says, barely holding in laughter, “for you wanting to fuck me sideways...” Madara holds Tobirama’s gaze as his fingers hover just over Tobirama’s hole. “Then Madara, for fuck’s sake, stop trying to be subtle and get to work.”

Madara barks out a laugh.

“Whatever you say, Tobirama.”

Madara dips his voice low and deep, like he’s noticed Tobirama loves, and relishes the whimper it earns him. Relishes the way Tobirama arches against him, looking for friction, how delectable he looks, ready and responsive, so eager for Madara’s touch.

He knows then and there that if it’s up to him, Madara will do anything to make this last.

[koorinohebi]

@super-kame-love

Continued From:

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

+ + +

Sorry for breaking it into two different posts, Kame-san. The other one felt so long already.

Quick note: IF you haven't read or watched Boruto, this will definitely contain spoilers.

So for this second one, we have...

Kashin Koji

So the main reason I was interested in him was when rumors were floating around that Jiraiya or someone that resembles him is back in Boruto. One look at his design and I was like, yeah. Unmistakably related in one way or another. Lo and behold my friend, lo and behold.

I have 2 verses for Kashin Koji. One is the one where you often see me mention Takeda. That one is an on going RP with @ambitiousparagon, and the other one is a verse where I pen Koji myself. The one with Takeda is still in the works and currently still very unpredictable, so for this instance I'll talk about my own version of Kashin Koji, which actually...more than Kiomi being the main focus, I tend to lean more towards the man himself. This is heavily influenced by headcanons that are based on what I noticed his personality being based on what we know so far.

So when I first encountered Kashin Koji there was hardly anything on him, which is to say, still very true currently. He hasn't been seen in the manga after his crushing defeat against Isshiki, and in the anime, they've given him a voice, and we see how he acts, but ultimately it doesn't differ from what we've already read in the manga (if you or any of the ones reading this have read it).

So Kashin Koji is, despite being quite whimsical, a no nonsense kinda guy. So he is very...well, I wouldn't call it by the book, but as a shinobi, he chooses the most efficient way to carry out the mission, which is...by default, how Amado had initially programed him-- Not as a perfectionist, no, but as Isshiki would say it, Amado's programming of Kashin Koji rode on his maker clinging onto Jiraiya's mighty fate. However, with Jiraiya being the template, it's not a surprise if Koji would inherit the man's sentiments, principles, and even slight eccentricities as a Shinobi (which I believe Amado had predicted and saw as a weakness. He needs and creates tools as he sees fit, and he'll use whatever he can to further his agenda). Amado strives to emulate within Kashin Koji the "star of change" which Jiraiya possessed. As we know, thanks not only to the prophecy, but also due to Jiraiya's diligence in searching for that revolutionary that could change the world, he was able to bring together (in one way or another) three of the most powerful game changers that we have who affected the course of the current History. If they wanted to defeat Isshiki, he needed that kind of trick up his sleeve. Because however, Kashin Koji has imperfections, and someone Jigen had deemed weaker than he is (because Jigen told Amado to dispose of clones more powerful than he was), our good professor faces a setback and thus needs to come up with a new plan (going to the Hokage, and asking them to kill Isshiki instead while having Kashin Koji show them the "ropes" on how it's done).

My take on him stems from this human weakness. Kashin Koji is aware of who he's supposed to be a clone of. We see this when he comments on his fate being tied to Konoha and the like. And admittedly, knowing your predecessor's legacy, not to mention having been able to perfect something that the original couldn't gives him a bit of an ability to brag, and believe that he can be just as great or even greater than Jiraiya.

But the question is how convinced he is of this himself. I do believe that Kashin Koji wants to be a person of his own, and in being the perfect heroic shinobi tool, even if he dies, it wouldn't be for naught so long as he brings down his target (which happens to be the biggest threat since Madara, Tobi, and Kaguya). Believing that Amadao was entrusting the fate of the world in his hands bolstered his confidence. However, when Isshiki pointed out the painful truth of Amado's betrayal and deception, he internally refuses to accept it. That he was just a pawn, and that he'd never break free from being nothing but Jiraiya's shadow. I always felt that if at the baseness of Jiraiya's personality, you have a decent grasp of his shortcomings, regrets, and insecurities, you'll get a good grasp of Kashin Koji too. Although it's just my headcanon (and people dont really have to abide by it), Koji too, is plagued by this ever looming sense of not being good enough, as well as not living up to the name of his original (very much like how Jiraiya felt his accomplishments dont match that of Sandaime or Minato).

So after this long explanation on my take on Kashin Koji, you may ask where Kiomi comes in. Well, she comes in as a form of support.

Just as with Naruto's unreasonable worry, the first time that Kiomi sees Kashin Koji, she's instantly unreasonably bothered by him as well. Worse, when the mask comes off, and she sees his face she is instantly appalled and angry because everything that she's been keeping inside is dragged to the surface. Of course, none of this was Kashin Koji's fault. It was more of Kiomi's own regret, and seeing him was like opening a can of worms for her, reminding her of all the things she wanted to do and say had her teacher been alive. At the same time, she's very irked that someone was running around with his face, because someone had the gall to deliberately make a "knock off" as she calls it, of the man she respects the most.

With this much animosity, one would wonder how Kiomi becomes his support. While Kiomi and Kashin Koji initially dislikes each other, the woman rejects the fact that he's just "some clone", as he is also a person who deserves to live his life as himself regardless of whether he was created as a tool or as a clone. If you remember from my first post about Kiomi and Jiraiya's relationship, this was exactly the same kind of treatment that Jiraiya gave Kiomi when she viewed herself as nothing more than a disposable chess piece. She doesn't say this outright to Kashin Koji though. He learns this on his own. Seeing that someone believed in his own possibilities gave him a little peace of mind, just a little. In effect, this draws his curiosity. Kashin Koji being an Inner of Kara does his assignment pretty well, so he would by effect, know who she was as too. He believed she would be one of those who would constantly see him as a glorified Kagebunshin, but surprisingly she didn't. In fact, seeing as he was who he was, it would make him a perfect replacement, but she didn't treat him like that. This makes him loosen up around her, enough that his usually snide and sarcastic remarks are now laced with a hint of fond teasing. Ironically, she hates it when he does this, as it reminds her of Jiraiya. (Because Jiraiya often teases her about one thing or another.)

One of my favorite interactions of them is probably this one, just because it shows a little bit of both their internal struggles and how they deal with each other.

===

“Tell me,” Instead of standing to leave, he remained seated opposite from her. Kashin Koji removed the mask which barred a portion of his face that she was surely uncomfortable seeing. And he was right. She averted her eyes briefly, before putting up a look of feigned indifference once their optics finally met.

There was relative distress in her features, that much he could tell while staring at her…curiously, seriously. “Do I resemble him? This Jiraiya of yours.”

Looking at him was like staring into a nightmare, a stark reminder of what she could never hope to have. However, she understood his question. They were past simple notions of physicality. It wasn’t just about his face, nor was it about his origin. It was deeper than that. For Kiomi’s alleged simple-mindedness, this concept was not something so hard to grasp. Not when this was the very base of the learnings she had inherited from the mentor she respected the most. Despite Jiraiya and Kashin Koji’s shared similarities, they were still two very different people, each with their own uniqueness. Besides, denying a man his own identity was probably the cruelest judgment any living being could impose on another.

“You don’t.” The answer came simply; however, he did not miss the semblance of melancholy that lingered upon her visage. To him, it felt indicative of disappointment…such fragile and complicated feelings.

“I see.” Kashin Koji had closed his eyes then, satisfied with the answer. In a sense, he felt his lips curve into a smirk. Two words of reassurance; to think that hearing something so simple had such a significant impact. And as for Kiomi who had only seen the man scowl at her existence, this look on his face for the first time caused her chest to ache. Perhaps in her words, she knew not if a lie existed; if only because such an expression looked frighteningly similar to her teacher’s.

“The two of you must have loved each other very dearly.” At this point, he had refocused his gaze upon the female, only to raise a brow shortly after. He had never seen anyone choke on air before. Her flustered features shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary, but it felt amusing. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you’re wrong! You’re very wrong!” She retorted, her flushed face, easily beating the most crimson of fruits. “Everything, this…my…they’re all just…” She tried to calm down as she explained. “…they’re all just…what I’m trying to say is…whatever they are, they’re all just one-sided emotions…” She looked downtrodden. He recalled Naruto saying that their mentor died while she was away figuring out herself, and had carried a burden none of them could share. Jiraiya had meant everything to them, each within varying degrees unknown just how much to the other.

After learning that all of this was one sided, he looked at her with lethargy. “Are you actually an idiot after all?”

“Oi, you actually dare to call me an idiot in my own house? Besides, it’s not like I stood a chance against the person he sought after.” It wasn’t a secret to her after all, that he had his eyes on Lady Tsunade. What chance did she have against someone who had shared in his losses, successes, strife, and victories?

“Was what you felt actually so flimsy that it lost to someone else’s? Did you confirm it with your own mouth?”

The questions that bombarded her, matched with such an unexpected interrogator threw her off. So much that when she had come to her senses, she found herself face to face with Kashin Koji. If she was distraught earlier, then the ante had been upped then and there. Trapped in between his arms, being stared at, it felt horrible and suffocating for many reasons that she convinced herself that she couldn't understand. “Should I teach you just how lofty your feelings are?” He lingered so close, too close for comfort. But that was where she drew the line. Steeling herself, she pulled her head back just enough to give her some room to drive her forehead down against his. THWACK!

Both of them found themselves clutching their heads, one clicked his tongue and the other was cussing up a storm in her mind--and verbally, apparently.

“Don’t you dare mock me—“

She was on the verge of throwing him out, but there he was, laughing, collapsed on the floor as he held onto his forehead. She stifled her annoyance because she remembered how; pranks of the same nature had been done to her, by none other than her favorite mentor. And he would laugh just the same. At least sensei’s were a little more innocent and subtle. “Don’t laugh at me either!” She demanded with childish vigor, kicking him in the shin repeatedly. He fended them off well enough, which added to her irritation.

“That’s enough out of you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do in my own hou—hou—“ That was to say, if she wasn’t going to stop her assault, then he would have to play along. Grabbing her ankle when she struck, he pulled her over; just enough to make her balance crumble, bringing her down effectively.

“What the actual hell is wrong with you?”

“Even now, you’re struggling to protect what’s important to you. You may be a bit weaker than others, but it doesn’t seem like you’re lacking in persistence and perseverance. What are you so afraid of?”

Again with questions and commentaries that she did not ask for…

Her silence was enough of a response. Regrets, apprehensions, guilt, it was painted on her face. Shaking his head, Kashin Koji came to a stand and dusted himself, thereafter extending a hand for her to take.

“At the very least, come up to the starting line and show that mentor of yours your resolve.”

She begrudgingly looked at the hand that was offered to her. She felt ashamed and annoyed at herself because she knew that his point was valid. He wasn’t wrong, and in fact, he made more sense than she had wanted to admit. With an inward sigh, she took that hand and he helped her to her feet.

“…” Their grasp on each other persisted for a while. There was no warmth there; no comfort of a familiar friend, but there was a firmness that was enough to uproot whatever doubt it was that crept within the confines of her mind. She wouldn’t exactly call the other’s presence reassuring, but in a sense it was something close to it.

“Tsk, just who do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty?” Compared to before, the scowl had turned a bit friendly, but a scowl none the less.

“In case you haven’t heard or have been mistaking me for someone else, it’s Kashin Koji.” He replied with a tinge of whimsy in his voice. Matched with that was a tighter grip on the female’s hand which she reciprocated in kind. “Kiomi.” She rebutted against his satirical introduction.

When they at last released each other, there was probably a reddening mark there, but it also seemed like they’ve come to a certain understanding. “With a grip like that, what do you even hope to accomplish?”

Everything that comes out of his mouth is a fucking insult… Kiomi mused, unabashed by such a sentiment. Still, she watched him retrieve his mask only to wear it over his face once more. “I’ve a scouting mission at the Hokage’s behest. Two days time.” He stated out of the blue, walking towards her direction, incidentally near the exit. “Join me.”

“And why exactly, should I do that?” Folding her arms over her chest, she asked.

“Learn something useful rather than wallow in your self-pity.” Just before he could pass her completely, the intruder halted to cup her cheeks, moving it side to side casually.

(I made a thing.Lol Kiomi and her tendency to get manhandled.) There was no tenderness there, rather it seemed like he was inspecting a toy for some kind of defect. “You dont seem outclassed by anyone, not even by the Godaime. Put yourself to good use. You are a Shinobi, after all.”

“What does Lady Tsunade even have to do with this?”

“Who else would you feel so inferior to? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Besides,”

Finally, he’d relinquish his hold to observe her frame carefully. She was a slender woman, possibly bordering voluptuous underneath all that fabric. From the wrinkles and silhouette of her attire, he could tell that she was filled out in all the right places. Fair skin, a set of apprehensive platinum orbs…among other things. “You have the curves. Maybe not the appeal and self confidence, but you have the curves. You’ll be fine.”

Perhaps it was in that retort that Kiomi ran after Kashin Koji as he left her place, albeit with a senbon or two hurled at the man. “I was wrong; you’re probably just as much of a letch as sensei!”

The projectiles were caught between the fingers and twirled around with ease, no troubles at all. He contemplated for a mere second before deciding to keep them as a souvenir. “You wound me with your presumptuousness. I'm a busy man, and have no time for countless women. Such a disappointing assessment.” He waved her off, walking away and finally disappearing from sight.

===

Pardon the length, but this is how they normally interact in my story.

Koji serves as a challenge for Kiomi, while Kiomi serves as a "net" for Koji so that when he falls pray to his feeling of incompetency, he remembers that she expects him to plainly be Kashin Koji, and no one else. Both of them remind each other of something important which they both hope would make them better versions of themselves.

So what kind of relationship do they have? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of frienemies.

[cryptocism]

So since pretty much everyone agrees that Tim needs a name change, and I think most people dislike the first two RR costumes (I dislike the pretty much Robin one too, because it seems like he hasn’t accept losing Robin, when I feel a lot of his comics right after Bruce W died was about that?) which leads me to: What do you think Tim’s costume would look like if he got a good outfit, and what name?

o yeah i was not a fan of the cowl. and the n52 design is just… so busy and excessively accessorised (excessorised???) - i drew it a couple times for this project im workin on and the whole process was me squinting at reference panels and whispering softly but passionately “what the fuck” - and i agree on the rebirth RR design, it looks more derivative of dick and jasons retconned robin costumes than inspired by tims og 80s design (however. the unternet costume - its simple and appealing and clearly nightwing-inspired and i am a fan, also the giant scythe/halberd/mace thing was so ridiculous i loved it)

which is why i thank pat gleason for my life bc tims new outfit is such a good modernisation of his original robin design. so i mean to answer ur question i think tim has a p good design right now (although not for long i guess since they announced hed get a new look/codename soon) BUT if i were in charge of debuting a new design and name… hm……….

whatever his new name is, it’d preferably have something to do with wherever his personal storyline is headed, which i dont know, and for all my complaining abt how red robin is a shit name i dont actually have great alternatives lol. i did see somewhere the suggestion for the name “Cardinal” which i dont hate, so ill use that as a placeholder for now (although “Halcyon” is an interesting option)

tangentially, my personal preference for his robin graduation would be a miniseries featuring tim and damian both as robin, begrudgingly having to work together to fight some greater enemy and becoming true brothers along the way. ending with tim giving damian his blessing to be robin (a post-mantle blessing but still) with the first amicable passing on of the robin title literally ever

as for Look: his new design should a) accurately reflect his character b) mesh well with whatever tone his personal storyline is going for c) be a natural progression of gleasons newest iteration while still d) able to stand as its own iconic look

i always thought tim would do really well in a more grounded noir-style detective story, both using and especially subverting the tropes of the genre (for instance tim befriends every femme fatale and romances absolutely zero of them. theyre pals and have weekly movie nights or smthn) obvs using some of the mystery elements to springboard into classic comic wild times etc etc. theres also a great opportunity to include some more cyberpunk aesthetics to the look and feel ofthe story

i.e. tim is part of the waynetech r&d teams, working with them to develop new technologies, and proceeding to test out some of the prototypes while doing vigilante work (bc terry had to get his rocket boots from somewhere ok). gotham is still gotham, but its starting to see some of that neo-futuristic/blade runner flavour from batman beyond.

so. cyberpunk detective story starring cha boy tim drake. im not gonna draw it rn but lemme just gather some ref elements here in case i ever do

first off - motorcycle, obviously. redbird is back babey and this time its a two-wheeler. all his gear would be modded the hell out of, but the motorcycle itself would be an approximate balance of 70% ducati and 30% tron lightcycle situation. a speedy bike with ample room for the edgy overkill batfam aesthetic, with maybe a little akira in there who knows

same goes for helmet; 70/30 on this modern/cyberpunk situation. heres a quickly photoshopped “cardinal” helmet lol 

although theres totally room for some daft-punk leds in there. serving as a heads up display AND a fun neon aesthetic. I really want to play into that John Wick neo-noir situation.

besides that… ive got a preference for street style over the superhero spandex, so… detective jacket. every detective has a good jacket. norm breyfogle made a comment on his early tim robin designs that itd be pretty either/or on jacket vs cape, merging the two looked a little silly. for robin they probably decided on cape to keep things classic, but for cardinal i can do what i want

and i want to bring back some of this popped collar.

which i basically did for that other tim design i drew, which i still like, so this one would probably be at least a lil borrowed from that. 

attempting to merge cape/jacket might end up smthn like these:

which admittedly i like. 

admittedly… i do also like the concept of wings introduced in tims n52 design, i just think they couldve been hidden/incorporated better

greig rapson had a sweet robin design that had a sort of flight-suit (which dove into the actual mechanics??? i love) and since id want to dive into tim testing out waynetech prototypes, its a pretty good natural progression from him to terrys glider thing

the whole ensemble would be fairly understated however - enough to semi blend in with any crowd, hero or civilian. after all the story focus would be just as much about solving the mystery as it is punching the bad guy

the various interchangeable gadgets would be both prototypes of terrys eventual batsuit, and also all the failed prototypes that never managed to get off the ground. just to add an element of tension/plot devices wherein tims gear could break or malfunction pretty much anytime.

im fixated on this rocket boot situation though so itd be a paired down version of terrys eventual seamless/invisible design. still noticable and clunky, but working with the sleek modernish style outlined by gleason

smthn almost similar to the prowler actually from spiderverse - as in: Clearly Rocketboots, and clearly diy’d the shit out of, but still working with that Aesthetic

(most of the screencaps of prowler are dark af so im taking this from jesus alonso iglesias concept art) 

im debating on the addition of more overtly birdlike/cyberpunk elements, so ill add this here cause its dope as fuck (from ahmet atil akar). 

and a lot of batclan capes tend to end with that concave spiked look, which works great for bats but not really for birds. a tailcoat might emulate the bird tail, but it also might evoke Penguin a lil too much idk.

also in the interest of keeping everything within the same sort of design language, i would Love to see some new villains emulating deconstructionist/architectural kawakubo fashion:

like could you imagine the supervillain potential

so uhhh yeah. budding cyberpunk detective story with a little noir and a little technological advancement progressing in fits and starts. taking from the gleason foundation with heavy black featuring brighter coloured accents and modern sleekness, made a little dorky via prototype technology, with some extra neon blade runner shit thrown in there.

depending on how much i love or hate the new codename/design reveal i might draw this via inspired motivation or spiteful motivation lol

[petalsbloomed-a]

VERY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY !! RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED.  stolen !!! TAGGING. anyone who wants to do this tbh cuz this is long as shit and i dont want anyone to do this who might not be able to aljdhfskjdhkj

BASICS. FULL  NAME : galo thymos NICKNAME : himbo, idiot, rookie, newbie, #1 firefighting idiot AGE : 21 BIRTHDAY : june 30 ETHNIC  GROUP : japanese (+ korean / western european) NATIONALITY : american LANGUAGE / S : english / japanese / studied french and spanish SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : single HOME  TOWN / AREA : promeopolis (i envision this being around nyc / tri-state area) CURRENT  HOME : lives with older sister and niece PROFESSION : firefighter, undergraduate student

PHYSICAL. SKIN : pretty fair tan, but he sometimes appears a little darker than usual. his skin does a strange thing where it changes shade in different lighting. his skin is usually smooth, but right after getting finished with work, he sometimes is covered in dust and appears somewhat dried out. EYES : slightly upturned, deep-set, wide and somewhat of an almond shape. irises are usually very round, and are a bluish-cyan color. pupils often alight with mischief. in intense lighting, you can see a little red dot reflecting off his eyes. LIPS : pretty thin and nude, hard to notice. matches his skin tone very well. usually quite smooth. tends to get chapped after working. COMPLEXION : pretty fair, but in different lighting, he can look a lot tanner than what he really is. BLEMISHES : he has a few moles here and there, but overall his skin is fairly clear and clean. he doesn’t suffer from acne nearly as much as he did when he was in grade school. SCARS : he has some tiny, barely noticeable acne scars on his face, chin, and neck. the most noticeable ones are on his left arm from when he was practically set alight by a burnish flame. these are thick and quote coarse, and can cause some discomfort when touched. he also has a very small nick in his left ear, which was how his sister identified him when he found her after being separated from their family after the burnish incident when he was a kid. TATTOOS : an arrow that goes right below the nape of his neck to the middle of his back. the point is at about the small of his back, and there are a few decorations along the arrow. HEIGHT : 6′0, 183 cm WEIGHT : 165 lbs, ~75 kg BUILD : very muscular, quite athletic. very beefy arms, strong chest, well-built abdominals. however, his thighs and waist are pretty thin and trim. FEATURES : his most distinct features are his dramatic haircut and scars on his left arm, as well as the small white line on the outer helix of his left ear. his chest and shoulders are also quite broad in comparison to his rather thin waist. ALLERGIES : slight peanut allergy, dust, pollen. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE : undercut with a dramatic, spiky blue mohawk. USUAL  FACE  LOOK : mischievous smile or smirk; sometimes looks a bit wistful, like he’s thinking about something. USUAL  CLOTHING : is normally shirtless, wearing thick red firefighter pants with a yellow “3.” most often wears black rubber boots, black gloves, ear lobe piercings, and an industrial piercing. sometimes wears a black tee-shirt.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : spiders, bugs, needles, being in love (kind of), losing his sister or niece, finding out his parents are dead. ASPIRATION / S : to continue his firefighting career, to receive a masters in emergency medical technology / fire prevention & safety technology. POSITIVE  TRAITS : brave, caring, friendly, modest. NEGATIVE  TRAITS : daring, reckless, sensitive, over-attachment. MBTI : entertainer (ESFP-A) ZODIAC : cancer TEMPEREMENT : choleric / sanguine SOUL  TYPE / S : performer ANIMALS : zebra VICE  HABIT / S : twiddling thumbs, jiggling leg (usually the right), twirling & playing with hair, biting nails, chewing lips, swearing, sighing, pen clicking. FAITH : none; would consider himself agnostic. GHOSTS ? : yes. AFTERLIFE ? : not sure. REINCARNATION ? : not sure, but leaning towards no. ALIENS ? : yes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : independent, opinions slightly more left-leaning EDUCATION  LEVEL : graduate student

FAMILY. FATHER : nikanor thymos MOTHER : agape thymos SIBLINGS : danai thymos (older sister) EXTENDED  FAMILY : james (ex-brother-in-law), aria (niece) NAME  MEANING / S : his first name is of an unknown meaning, but it could mean “from gaul” in greek. his last name comes from the greek word “thumos”, which means “spiritedness” or “the need of recognition.” HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : not that we know of, i think ???

FAVORITES. BOOK : harry potter / hunger games MOVIE : the lion king 5  SONGS : rick astley - never gonna give you up, lady gaga - born this way, beyonce - countdown, ariana grande - god is a woman, pitbull - timber (feat. kesha) DEITY : zeus HOLIDAY : christmas MONTH : july SEASON : summer PLACE : his bedroom / the lounge at work WEATHER : partly cloudy SOUND : meditation sounds SCENT / S : coffee, flowers, fresh baked desserts, fresh pizza, light cologne TASTE / S : coffee, vanilla cake, milk chocolate, parmesan cheese, green tea anything tbh FEEL / S : soft blankets, comfy pillows, loose-fitting clothes ANIMAL / S : dogs NUMBER : 13 COLORS : teal blue / flame red

EXTRA. TALENTS : piano, singing, writing, linguistics, thinking quickly, firefighting BAD  AT : drawing (sort of), getting himself organized, following orders (sometimes) TURN  ONS : kindness, sensitivity, acceptance, openness, agreeableness TURN  OFFS : irresponsibility, lack of free time, ignorance HOBBIES : piano, singing, writing (stories, poems, etc), karate TROPES : ambiguously gay, antiquated linguistics, broken tears, calling your attacks, the chosen one, firemen are hot, going commando, hunk, idiot hero, innocently insensitive, large ham, mr. fanservice, oblivious to love, the protagonist, rookie red ranger, scars are forever, shonen hair, you gotta have blue hair (found here, there’s a lot more actually) QUOTES : “medals are made to be awarded to and from people who deserve them.” / “you can’t just kill for no reason!” / “[i’m] the universe’s #1 firefighting idiot!”

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? A1 : honestly??? i think i would keep it the way it is, BUT i would like to have seen some more canonical information about galo’s family. as of right now, we know that kray saved him after his family was attacked by the burnish. if i were to direct a new movie about galo, i would focus it mainly on his family. Q2 : what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? A2 : i think it would be a mix of melancholic music as well as more upbeat stuff. on my blog’s main page there are links in the sidebar to both a soundtrack playlist as well as a pop music playlist; i definitely think it’s fair that a variety of genres would suit him and his experiences. Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ? A3 : when i first watched promare, i was instantly drawn to this buffoon himbo. i’ve always had a thing for upbeat, energetic characters who are also quite caring and a bit dumb (which yes galo is very smart but he has his moments). while their personalities differ greatly (despite having the same personality type), he reminds me a lot of lance from vld, who i absolutely adore as well (and i also rp him too oops) Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : again, probably his personality. while i’m not as energetic and upbeat as galo and i have a very, very different personality type than him, i feel like i definitely do understand him. i understand why he feels he needs to be overly confident, and i also have my moments where i just need to storm off and be alone. god i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i like galo but i wanna keep it short and sweet and just stick with those two points, which i consider to be the biggest points. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 : look, i know i said i liked confidence, but something about galo that annoys me is the fact that he can often seem too confident. like yeah he seemed pretty humble in that pizza scene at the beginning of the movie, but i can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance towards people who put themselves right into the center of attention and be all like “yeah i know i’m great.” like my boy i love you but do u have to announce urself every time u appear on the scene??? and pls stop being so reckless u honestly might die too soon one of these days we want u to be around for us to enjoy u Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ? A6 : i definitely feel like we both have our moments where we just need some peace and quiet. of course, everyone needs this, but when galo talked about running off when he was pissed reminded me of me; i tend to go and cool off and vent to myself if i’m annoyed about something. we’re both naturally people-oriented and love to be around others, even though galo likes being the center of attention a little bit more than myself. Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 : in the sense that if galo were real, i honestly think we would get along fairly well. we have different ways of dealing with things, but we have similar habits and personality traits. however when it comes to rp blogs, while i do like to headcanon things about my muses that mirror my own opinions and beliefs, i do consider the mun/muse relationship fairly symbiotic. we as real people can learn so much from fictional characters and in how we play them, and of course, the mun will determine some things about the muse that will deter from canon. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ? A8 : i just started this blog and have had very minimal interactions, so it’s hard to say ! i’d say that an interaction with a kray muse would be the most interesting. part of me wants galo to forgive kray and to have a better relationship with him post-movie canon, but there’s still so much about galo and kray’s relationship pre-movie as well; what was their relationship like? was kray like a father to galo? how can i describe the psychological mindset that galo had after finding out that kray betrayed him? there’s so much about these two that i really want to discover and look at, while of course providing my own insight (cuz that’s what muns do, right?). Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? A9 : i like to study galo’s actions in the movie, and try to find the underlying cause of the actions he takes. however, when it comes to headcanons, i will often think of a scene or an idea in my head and then internally apply it to galo and see if it works. this is usually what kindles my writing fire: the thoughts that often rush through my head. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ? A10 : like two whole days lmao im so slow

[dysphoric-dumbass13]

All of them. Every single fall themed ask at once. Lets see how you like it. (love you)

Whatever. Something to do in bio. Love you too boo.

Lantern: (how did you meet your best friend?) I have three. For Evan, they said something about the flannel I was wearing. I didnt like them that much to start out, they were too bubbly for my taste. For TJ, I was friends with his best friend in 6th grade. She left and I didnt have any friends so J tried to become friends with him and Angel. I loved him, he was so sassy and cool. For Kass, the asshole who's making me do this, it was 6th grade science. I didn't know what to call them and spent the entire year trying to figure it out but being too afraid to ask. They were actually pretty cool. Idk what all of their initial opinions of me were.

Frost: (if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?) Quit pretending you're an adult, itll just hurt you. Let yourself dress masculine, it's ok to do that. And it's ok to like girls like you do, dont be afraid to express yourself.

Maple: (is there a hobby/skill you've always wanted to try but never did?) Yeah, I always wanted to be on a little league football team when I was little.

Harvest: (what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?) Dean winchester. Because I am just..... basically him if he wasnt raised in an environment with toxic masculinity *cough cough* John *cough cough*

Fireside: (if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?) Flannel, band tees, everything would be from the Mens section. Some binders for masculine and nb days and lots of mens skinny jeans. Also David Bowie Vans, pride converse, and combat boots.

Cider: (a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?) Idk. For a period of time I hated coffee, I dont mind it now.

Amber: (share an unpopular opinion that you may have.) Oof. Um, christians aren't necessarily bad, the ones we all know of are because they hide behind the bible to hate people.

Fog: (how well do you think you'd do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?) Either really well or terribly. I'd either let then get me, or wear a medieval suit of armor and just walk through everywhere boss mode. And Costco.

Jack-O-Lantern: (if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?) Ruby rose.

Spice: (have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?) Yes. Mine. Creepy baby handprints in the basement. In keeping the spirits occupied with my old Barbies.

Orchard: (share one thing you'd like to happen this autumn) Oh, that's hard. I think I'd want a partner so I dont go into winter depressed like I always do.

Crow: (which school subject do you have an aptitude for?) Math or English? Does choir count? Idk

Bonfire: (describe your dream house) Idc that much. As long as it has a library and multiple bedrooms, and the people I care about loving with me/nearby

Cinnamon: (if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?) Either Ireland in the medieval times as a knight, or the 70s in Europe or the US.

Cranberry: (what is one physical feature you get complimented on?) Annoyingly, my boobs. Apparently they're big and nice, whatever. Recently, my hair though. I just cut it short.

Maize: (share the weirdest encounter you've had with a stranger on the street.) Last year, I was at the mall in a bathroom and an older woman (idk maybe 60?) came up to me and said "I'm either having a drink or I have to pee. You're living the golden years kid, not me." In hindsight I think she was just quoting John Mulaney at me, but it was weird to me when it happened.

Quilt: (how do you take your tea or coffee?) Tea, chai and Irish breakfast are my favorites, I really like green tea though. It has to be sweet though, I can't stand unsweetened tea (theres my mom's Texan coming out)

Pumpkin: (do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?) Neither, I think people are born blank slates and our experiences shape everything about us.

Moonlit: (are you a neat or messy person? Is your room/house orderly?) Hahahaha, what's a floor?

Flannel #1: (have you ever gone on a bad date?) No. I've only ever been on one date, and I thought it was pretty good. I dated one person who was an asshole but that's it.

Cocoa: (if you could have any type of hair, what color and cut would you have?) Probably my natural color (light brown, easiest to dye), cut short, but curly in texture instead of this wavyish shit.

Ghost: (is there someone that you miss having in your life?) Yeah. I mean she isn't dead, but my 6th grade best friend. I miss her.

Pumpkin spice: (what is your drink of choice?) Mt Dew, Dr. Pepper, or tea. But it has to be sweet.

Wool socks: (what is something you look forward to in fall?) If I lived anywhere but where I live this would work, my wardrobe is actually fitting for the type of weather. Coolish, with some breezes, and crisp. Warm sometimes. My flannel is great for that, but stupid Colorado snows nearly year round.

Falling leaves: (you're stranded on a desert island and here's the twist: what three things do you NOT bring with you?) A boat so I can live in solidarity, thank you very much, anyone that's homophobic, transphobic, antisemitic, racist, etc, and peanuts.

Smelly candles: (what's your absolute favorite scent?) Fredh baked apple pie 🤤

Big sweaters: (do you prefer the cold, warmth, or a perfect in-between?) I'm practically a living heater. So cold weather.

Halloween: (if you could dress up as anyone/anything and pull it off absolutely flawlessly, who/what would it be?) Idk if this counts, but whatever gender I currently identify with (nb, feminine, masculine, in between). If that doesn't, then Jensen Ackles.

Cozy blankets: (where do you feel the most safe and at home?) With TJ. He's my family.

Hot tea: (when was the last time you kissed someone?) July 21st at around.... 5 or 6am?

Flannel #2: (what's your favorite day of the year? Is there a reason it's your favorite?) I don't really have one.

Chilly air: (what's your least favorite and favorite type of weather?) Is it weird that snowing is both my favorite and least favorite type of weather depending on the time of year?

Scarves: (if you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?) My pair of black ripped guys skinny jeand with my dark blue distressed flannel and my wolf shirt.

Apple cider: (if you could throw a party and invite absolutely anyone, who would they be?) All of my close friends, plus the one I haven't seen in forever that I miss too much, and Misha Collins.

Haunted houses: (what's your scariest memory?) It was a dream I had when I was 5 that I remember in perfect detail. When I find the time I texted it to Kass I'll make a post with a screenshot of it.

Fuzzy boots: (if you could live in any year/era, which would it be and why?) See cinnamon above

Thanksgiving: (what is someone/something that you're most grateful for? Any particular reason?) That's hard. Can I say my best friends? That's only 3 people. And because they're always there and care about me and I love them.

Black friday: (what is one thing, if anything, that you would sell your soul to own?) The rights to be the writer of a Supernatural sequel.

Apple picking: (if you could go anywhere, where would it be and why?) Ireland. Castles. About 60% of my heritage. Green.

Corn mazes: (do you have any secret talents/abilities?) Not secret ones

Hay rides: (if you could pick absolutely anything to be your form of transportation, what would it be?) A 1967 4-door black Chevrolet Impala. Obviously.

The color orange: (do you have a specific song that reminds you of autumn? What is it?) Yeah, a few. Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood, Trees by twenty one pilots, Smithereens by twenty one pilots, Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow (Hey Oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blackbird by The Beatles, Perfect by Ed Sheeran, Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran, Heartbeat by Carrie Underwood, and What I Got by Sublime. To name a few.

Windy nights: (if you could go to any concert whose would it be?) Live Aid lmao. If they dont have to be alive then Queen, if they do then either Ed Sheeran, twenty one pilots, or Panic!

Holding hands: (do you believe in soulmates?) Kinda? I think I want to. I think you feel it at one point, if you meet someone you love that dearly. But idk, maybe I'm just being stupid.

Kass, thank you. And I hate you.

[buckymcbuttfacebarnes]

Hard to Read

pairing: cable (nathan summers) x reader

word count: 1892 

summary: y/n explores the interesting facets of her relationship with cable  (italics are memories)

a/n: this is just some shit i was writing to work on writing for cable bc i still feel like i dont characterize him as well as id like, idk let me know what yall think

@melodramatic-fratboi hope u enjoy<3

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Perhaps it was the way he walked that caught your eye. It was a healthy mix between a confident strut and a manly lumber; he commanded the attention of others with little effort. You liked that about him. Or maybe it was his voice, like the rasp and crunch of gravel beneath slow-moving tires. He spoke with little words in a slow and deliberate manner, as if he wanted to make sure you heard him—he did not like to repeat himself... It might have been his sheer handsomeness, the peculiar scars across his face, the metal that crept up his throat, the same metal that formed his left arm. He kept the shiny appendage on display with short-sleeved shirts, only a hint of the metal at his throat glinted in the light, most of it hidden away by his shirt’s crew neck fit.

“And that’s Cable,” Wade explained with a careless shrug of his shoulders. “He’s cool, kind of a dick, but you get used to it after a while.”

Cable glanced at the pair of you from a distance, as if he had somehow known that the two of you were talking about him. He gave you a half-smile and a wave that made your stomach flutter.

You knew from the moment you saw him that you had come face to face with someone that you would develop a fond fascination for, but the reason why was a complete mystery to you, to him. Whatever it was, whatever had drawn you to him, it had you hooked and you couldn’t get enough. Since you’d been admitted into the X-Force you found yourself striving to be near him, to talk to him, to know him. It was beyond the common, simply-solved physical attraction. No, it was something more curious, perhaps even more potent. It kept you at his side, constantly trying to pry information out of him.

Countless times you suffered through Cable’s tedious talks about his guns (to fulfill your simple desire of hearing his rumbling voice in your ears), only to be told, “Don’t touch that” or “Now stop asking questions, or get out”  in that coldly silencing manner of his.

“So what is this anyway?”

“Do you come into this room with the intention of making me dislike you?” He asked. “Because it’s working.”

You frowned, exhaling loudly through your nose. There was a brief moment of silence as you watched him fiddle with a couple of tools. “Really, though...What is it?”

“Get out.”

“What?

“You heard me, kid.”

“How am I going to learn anything about this stuff if you don’t answer my questions?”

“Y/N—”

“Okay, fine, fine. I’ll shut up.”

Other times you might settle down on the floor, next to where he sat on the couch and rest your head against his knee while he watched one of those westerns he liked so much.

He had been sitting on the couch when you settled beside him, opting for the floor instead of the couch. A few minutes passed before your hand went to his knee and after that came your head, resting tiredly against your hand. He tore his gaze away from the television to peer down at your crouched form. His insides seemed to tremble with a familiar warmth at the very sight and though you couldn’t see him, he smiled widely.

You felt timid fingers brush against the side of your face. His calloused palm then came to rest affectionately upon the top of your head. It lingered there for a long time. When it left you might have felt a little disappointed, had you not been brimming with joy.

At the beginning of it all, you had to wonder if he noticed you at all. Did he notice the way you looked at him? The way you hung onto every one of the few words that fell from his lips? Did he notice the way you strived to be beside him?

You certainly had no idea how much you intrigued him.

Cable had grown fond of you with a rapidity that frightened him. He found the way you hung upon his arm endearing, you were always near, breathing his air. Despite his naturally aloof manner, he strived to go out of his way to talk to you, and delight you. Oftentimes he would entertain your questions by giving roundabout answers in place of the straightforward ones that you so desperately sought after. He would  say things to make you laugh. At the times when you might settle at his feet with your head against his knee he would give you an unprovoked précis of the film (something you always appreciated) before falling back into his comfortable silence. He would smile down at you and his throat would grow inexplicably tight. Sometimes he would place his hand atop your head, a small way to reciprocate your doting mannerisms. It would linger there for a few moments before he would retract and he would sit back, recrossing his arms over his broad chest as if the sweet gesture had never occurred.

His feelings of fondness for you left him constantly praying that you didn’t mistake his harshness, a pillar of his dick-like personality, for distaste or indifference. He enjoyed your company and marveled at your beauty more than you probably were aware of. You stirred something in him that he had not felt in a long time. So why didn’t he just tell you that? He didn’t know how to. And even if he did, what conversation might warrant that type of declaration?

“Don’t put your feet on my pillows,” Cable grumbled, sending you a pointed look as he picked up one of his smaller handguns.

You were on his bed, lying on your stomach with your ankles crossed, propped up on your elbows. “I won’t.”

His eyes narrowed as he inspected his gun. “Good. I’ll kill you if you do.”

“That seems unnecessarily severe, don’t you think?”

“I gave you a warning, so now you know. If your sock touches my pillow, you’ll be dead before you can blink.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Since when are you that quick, old man?”

His deft fingers had turned the gun around smoothly in his hand in one rapid movement. He had the barrel pointed between your eyes in the flash of a moment.

“You wouldn’t,” you dared, a smug look upon your face.

He gave a humorless laugh, lips curling into a cruel smile. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, kid.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

He paused, looking into those seemingly innocent eyes of yours. He knew it was all a hoax, the big innocent charade you put on. You were not as pristine and virtuous as you presented yourself as. He had grown to see right through it, and in moments like these, you made it apparent yourself. He brought the gun down begrudgingly, his eyes never leaving yours. “You know, Y/N...” he cut himself off, shaking his head as he placed the handgun down onto his desk.

“What?” you grinned, lifting a curious brow.

“Nothing.”

“Just say it.”

“No.”

“Cable, you might as well because I’m just going to keep—”

“Alright, fine. Jesus Christ,” he spat agitatedly. “I was just gonna say...You’re just, uh, you’re really somethin’.” The lie slipped through his lips quickly, for he couldn’t find words that would properly articulate what he truly wanted to say: I think you’re beautiful, and I’m into you.

Until he worked hard enough to conjure up the right words to say, he just had to keep hoping you wouldn’t grow tired of him and abandon the months and months of a relationship that the two of you had managed to build up. From time to time he’d see the annoyed expression (that he never audibly acknowledged) that would twitch at your features when he would grow needlessly snippy, yet you never seemed deterred. Annoyed and maybe a little pissed off, sure, but never discouraged. You, in ways that he was sure you were unaware of, were much like him. Snappy and argumentative. Some days you could be inexplicably agitated, maybe even a little bratty, yet you still hung around him and looked at him with eyes that made him feel like some sort of marvel to behold. He liked it, loved it, but it was highly unlikely that he might ever articulate that joy to you.

“Jesus Christ,” you snapped, shoving his hands away ardently. “You aren’t fucking funny, Cable. You’re an asshole.”

His dark eyes rolled upwards towards the ceiling and he groaned inwardly. “How come you can bother me all day everyday, but when it’s your turn you can’t fucking take it?”

“The difference is that I don’t bother you when you’re trying to get shit done!”

“Bullshit,” he spat.

“Just get the fuck out of my face.”

An hour later you plopped down onto the couch beside him, plucking a beer bottle from his hands, stealing it from his lips, and taking a swig before placing it back into his hand. When he moved to place an arm around your shoulders you jerked away, yet you remained close by his side.

Under his breath you heard him mutter, “You’re such a fucking brat.”

Luckily for Cable, it was progress and your own growing fondness of him that kept you at his side. Slowly, as your friendship began to grow and change, you had grown to know more and more about him. The movies he liked the watch, seemingly meaningless likes and dislikes of certain foods or television programs, his visceral distaste for dubstep…

“Dubstep is for pussies,” he reiterated for the thousandth time to you and Wade, who were standing side by side, defending the speaker behind you that blasted the loud seismic music. He appeared he was ready to throttle the both of you, there was little stopping him.

“What sorry, can’t hear you?” Wade mouthed to him. He glanced at you and shrugged his shoulders.

Cable’s eyes narrowed at you, “You don’t even fucking like dubstep.”

While most of your feelings towards him were purely innocent, you could not help the occasional urge you felt to yield to Cable’s undeniable charms. He was an older man and, for reasons you could not explain, that in itself was a very attractive trait. He was experienced, seasoned—both with life and women. The man knew how to turn on the charm in an instant. Sometimes he would speak in subtle innuendos and double entendres, both of which were followed up with a wink or a mischievous smirk. It was hard to tell whether he did it just to see you squirm or if the advances actually meant something. He was so difficult to read.

“Please, get out of my face before I fight your old ass,” you threatened quietly, sending Cable a menacing glare.

“Real cute,” he chuckled mockingly. When your hand flew up to smack him he caught you by your wrist and yanked you close. His eyes seemed cloudy and he lowered his voice to just above a rasp. “Even if you tried, you couldn’t take me on, kid. I’m too big.”

He laughed heartily when he saw your wide-eyed expression.

Maybe you would have tried to take him on...if only he wasn’t so fucking hard to read.

[thesilverdragoon]

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

I’m not subjecting anyone to this horror. Stolen from @crimsonfluidessence​

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Vesevont Nevelaux

NICKNAME: Ves, “Cap”

AGE: 49

BIRTHDAY: 15th Sun of the Second Astral Moon (March 15)

ETHNIC GROUP: Ishgardian Elezen

NATIONALITY: Ishgardian

LANGUAGE(S): Common Eorzean

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

CLASS: Dragoon (OOC only, IC a mere knight)

HOMETOWN / AREA: Coerthas

CURRENT HOME: The Mist

PROFESSION: Ex-knight of Ishgard's House Durendaire. Currently: none

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Blond

EYES: Amber

NOSE: He has one(1) nose.

FACE: Scarred, eye bags, wrinkly, crow’s feet, a little gaunt, aged

LIPS: Probably dry to be fair.

COMPLEXION: Light or, probably just pale

BLEMISHES: We all have ‘em

SCARS: One over the right eye, one across the left cheek and nose. And others.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 6′6″

WEIGHT: Average for his height

BUILD: Lean, fit

FEATURES: He’s got pretty big ears?

ALLERGIES: Bananas.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Short, blond, shaved on the sides.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Resting bitch face

USUAL CLOTHING: Old knight-attire with green cloak, or his blue outfit later in SB

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Abandonment, his kids or friends getting hurt, Carbuncles, Voidsent

ASPIRATION(S): Being able to settle down with someone

POSITIVE TRAITS: Tenacious, Loyal, Polite, Caring, Merciful

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Stubborn, Confrontational, Harsh, Impulsive

ZODIAC: Ironically a Pisces (Thaliak on the Eorzean calender)

TEMPERAMENT: Guarded but usually optimistic

SOUL TYPE(S): He has a soul or he wouldn’t be alive.

ANIMALS: He’d want to be a shark

VICE HABIT(S): Stress-eating, boredom eating, eating

FAITH: Unknown

GHOSTS?: Reluctantly yes

AFTERLIFE?: He hopes so

REINCARNATION?: Maybe

ALIENS?: "Who?”

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Probably really liberal

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Don’t ask him things like this he doesn’t know.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: Refer to the above

EDUCATION LEVEL: Life experience. (He was a knight. Cannon fodder.)

FAMILY.

FATHER: Yes; Dead

MOTHER: Yes; Dead

SIBLINGS: No

EXTENDED FAMILY: Probably

NAME MEANING(S): Vesevont is the made up version to his OC actual name, Vsevolod, which hilariously means ‘lord of everything/everybody’. It’s also a name that hasn’t been used in centuries so anyone with that name is looked at very weirdly irl.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: No.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Particular towards fiction, because he likes happy endings.

MOVIE: If there were movies, rom-coms.

5 SONGS: He doesn’t really listen to music anymore

DEITY: Not currently

HOLIDAY: Maybe Starlight

MONTH: Doesn’t matter

SEASON: Spring

PLACE: The Ruby Sea

WEATHER: Warm and sunny

SOUND: The ocean, the breaking-the-sound-barrier sound Sihl makes when flying

SCENT(S): Fresh cut flowers

TASTE(S): Savory, spicy, chocolatey

FEEL(S): Warm hands on his icicle hands.

ANIMAL(S): Again, sharks

NUMBER: 13. A baker’s dozen

COLORS: Yellow

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Destroying property, taste-testing, withstanding harsh environments

BAD AT: Acting normal and well integrated into society, social anything

TURN ONS: Intelligence, Kindness, Snappy Wits and Sarcasm, Prim and Proper

TURN OFFS: Cruelty, Unforgiving..ness, All Out Bad

HOBBIES: Flying with Sihl and exploring, sometimes people-watching

TROPES: Anime-Reactions, Dopey Dad, Seems to Survive Everything

AESTHETIC TAGS: Birds, the sky, flying, the sun, dragons happy, uplifting and airy

GPOY  QUOTES: "Uh oh.”

FC INFO. (I dont know what ANY of this means.)

MAIN FC(S): 

ALT FC(S): 

OLDER FC(S):

YOUNGER FC(S): 

VOICE CLAIM(S): WS!Cap definitely was lip-syncing Ronan Harris’ voice due to the sheer multitude of VNV songs that were part of his character. But Ves specifically?? I imagine something probably deeper and more rough but I haven’t heard anything I liked in particular yet.

GENDERBENT FC(S): 

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

If it were up to me, the movie would be emulating a war movie in style, with muted and often cold colors and much darker themes and tones. Occasionally there’d be bursts of color or uplifting scenes to remind everyone that people are still human and contrast all the darker stuff, so a balance between the two. 

That’d be the most important part of it for me personally. Many references to all sorts of symbolism, though not too heavy-handed with it, allegories, metaphors, etc. To explore the spectrum of the ...for lack of better term, human condition.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

Completely orchestrated, done in a romantic style so that, in case someone weren’t watching the movie itself, they could simply listen to the music and imagine their own scene to it as the composition of said songs would ...in a perfect world, be very specifically tailored to fit certain sequences of emotion and whatnot.

And of course some violin/piano duet pieces sprinkled here and there.

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

Ves is just one version of an old OC I’ve had for a long, long time. Maybe eight or so years. Give or take. He’s got several different iterations thus far.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

My love for war movies and such to be honest. Along with my insane fascination and interest in historical narratives and European warfare and the like. Typically, Ves’ character is usually pulling all sorts of things from WW1 from fashion to mannerisms, and his whole world is constructed to emulate that as well (though, not set on Earth.) Not the FFXIV version of course because Ishgard is there, but other versions of him such as WS and his original counterpart.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

If I had to pick the largest thing I have against him (and I mean this character in general, not specifically FFXIV,) it’s the need for historical accuracy in most cases. I’m a die-hard for things like that and spend a lot of time doing research (usually just for fun but I get carried away easily.) Considering reference material isn’t always the easiest to find for really specific things from a time period that old, it becomes frustrating VERY quickly when I don’t feel I’m portraying him ‘authentically’ enough.

Elsewise, as far as his personality goes, he’s just like any dad. The need to always be right drives me absolutely insane. The good thing about him though is that he’s fictional and I can make him change and grow and learn. >:) Now that’s what I call sexy.

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

We both love to eat and eat way too much too often and yet are like twigs. And we’re too particular about certain things.

I dunno, your characters technically are just facets of you.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

He’d be extremely annoyed but I don’t think he’d do anything about it. I am but a CHILDE.

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

Thus far? There’s Lowrey who won’t leave him alone and is always trying to wrangle Ves in like a bucking horse, and they’re VERY entertaining to watch with their weird and aggressive banter (on Ves’ part anyway, he can’t stand the guy. Lowrey just rolls with the punches with a big grin and keeps on pushing. Ves is gonna clobber him one of these days for real this time. For REAL this time.)

And then there’s Ves and Caudecus’ very polarizing and almost jarring but still extremely funny interactions with one another. They’re roommates right now so, typical roommate shenanigans, laugh track plays here. There’s something sinister hidden underneath it all and I think Caud may just get a laugh out of stabbing Ves verbally, which is also something I enjoy laying witness to.

And of course, Mei and Ves. He has NO idea who she is, he just kind of met her out there in the wilderness I suspect and thought she was weird, but she’s very fun and loves to go exploring and flying too and that’s something he can relate to. Plus Mei displays a very clear sense of justice and that is something he appreciates VERY much. She’s just whacky and weird and a mystery but he likes it and doesn’t know why. It’s probably all the pink.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

Anime stuff probably, war stuff. I dunno, depends on my mood for the day. I don’t need inspiration, my characters are just on a roulette wheel. Which one do I feel like using today.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

About an hour, but I had to constantly rephrase things that didn’t make sense.

[vortexlnfinitum]

ramblings about theo yeeee

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

- licherally the only reason i picked the name theodor is because its cartman’s middle name (theodore with an e tho) and i liked how it sounded😔 i just wanted an oc named theo. victor comes from victor frankenstein, another (now horror related!) name ive liked. wolfram is obvs reference to him being a werewolf, and since i had “german names” theme with him and his siblings, i took a lil help from googl to find german surname that had wolf in it lol.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

- missing tail. feels “incomplete” as a werewolf, doesnt feel like he fits in with his family. its a bit shallow insecurity of his, but really its more than that to him. obvs not hideable.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

- prolly his arm muscles.

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

- his kindness and his eyes :3c

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

- oh definitely more confident type.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

- uhhhhhhh, idk? not rly ig?

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

- does a lil growl when annoyed. awoo habit.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

- used to be more selfish, but things happened, had to take care of his family. is still a bit selfish, but not as much as he used to.

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

- winter, dislikes hot weather. doesnt rly have any favorite holidays.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

- masc.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

- hurting his younger siblings, especially robin.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

- uhmmm uuuhhhh, s-sports??? IDK SDHFH.... he likes to be in shape.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

- light sleeper, wakes up easily. peaceful sleeper, but takes a lot of space.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

- oh boy. during his teenage years he rarely spent any time at home. mostly just slept there, but other than that, his family never really saw him. during college years he was roommates with his friends diego, markus and toby. partied a lot with diego and markus, much to toby’s annoyance. all in all theo loved living with his best friends for few years. after theo’s parents died, he now had to spent more time at home so his siblings would stay together and grow up together in the same houshold. this time was a bit hectic to theo, lots of bad stuff happened all at once, but he did his best for his siblings, since they had no one else to rely on. during this time he started to reconnect with his siblings more and was (and still is) very protective of them. one of his younger siblings started dating a vampire (theo has a...beef with vampires), and he was against it at first. hearing about the vampire’s family situation he, hesitantly, agreeded that he could stay at their house. actually grew up to love the vampire like his own younger siblings. they still bicker time to time. after all of his siblings moved out (when they were old enough), he started living with his husband and their two kids. loves all of them very dearly and wouldnt change his life to anything.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

- (used to be) mr. dracula, sir. used to fight with the guy during their school years. also theo got dracula’s at-the-time gf to sleep with him. dracula wasnt happy about it. years later tho dracula married one of theo’s closest friends and nowdays they’re in better terms.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

- athletic! loves sports! any kind really! is especially keen on running and lifting. also likes soccer.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

- You betcha! and his dreams got true thanks to one special lizardman.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

- ive always pictured he was the one who stayed at his family’s house. it was a place he used to... well, hate is a strong word, dislike? After getting more responsible the place soon became very dear to him tho.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

- Used to get into physical fights during his teen/younger adult years. I’d say he’d be a good fighter, wouldnt give up easily, but has gotten his ass beaten few times too.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

- well i mean. he /is/ an animal lol. kind of. doesnt really care for animals.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

- losing people around him, especially his family/closest ones. actually lost his parents when he was 21, and he didnt take it well. it was hard time for him, didnt really have any time to mourn his parents. it was a touchy subject for him many years, if asked about it, hed avoid the question or try to change the subject.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

- been thinking about giving him a tattoo, idk just what kind of yet.... other than that, i dont think he has any?? unique physical features.... missing tail lol.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

- ah, troublemaker. the only subjects he was good at were sports and home economics. only teacher who he respected was the school’s headmaster, mauno.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

- theo talks about him very softly or very hornily. two moods. lots of talking about his body. gsdfg. Talking about how kind and hard working he is! how beautiful he is inside and out and how he could get lost in his eyes forever. and how good he is in bed lool.

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

- parents’ death. affected him for many years, but got over it/accepted it.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

- hehe, inexperienced. theo finds it very cute, and teases him a lot about it.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

- started a street fight or smthn hfhfs. lil vandalism mby.....

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

- mmm, pro athlete......

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

- litreally few time loops, no big deal.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

- hm.... hes not rly artsy guy.. his sister plays drums tho, hes very encouraging of that!

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

- I think he’d be capable of killing. I mean, he’d have the strength for it. Wouldnt kill anyone tho nor would he enjoy it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

- dinner date! either going out or make something special together.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

- hmm, younger years, maybe a bar. nowdays, idk! mindlessly going out for a jog mby!

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

- anything his husband makes.

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

- somewhat. sudden/unexpected deaths especially. if he got to choose, hed choose something peaceful and/or something thats not painful.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

- nope!

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

- eating mouth open. people interrupting him, but i think he sometimes is quilty of this too.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

- cloudy and cold. enjoys cold weather more.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

- He has somewhat of a mean looking face. And he was this! He was a bit mean, bad boy during his teen years. Family life made him kinder.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

- hmm!!! i need to think of this, i dont think he has any rn, but i defo need to give him some.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

- Spent so so many years avoiding them. When his youngest sister was born (when he was ~19) he started to reconnect with his family. And after his parents died, and he was left with five siblings to take care of, they became the most important thing in his life. hed do anything for them and he was super protective of them.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

- ^ not being the “bad son” he was, and actually got to spent his younger years with his parents/family.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

- Around his friends he’s more outgoing and kind of rebellious. playfights with them a lot. Around his siblings hes caring, responsible and kind. around his husband hes all of this.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

- oh yknow. he has gone through it already.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

- used to hide them. still kind of does, but is more open with his husband and oldest younger sibling.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

- nuzzles him in bed. bites him a lot....

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

- yes! very outgoing! and he is more of a leader type!

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

- his friends lusting after his husband gshdfhd. Used to get very jealous when hearing about happy families.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

- Maybe something involving his parents... them not being proud of him or smthn... Losing his family members. if these nightmare’s were to affect his mood, he’d be grumpier.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

- he did. he just. blurted it out, really straightforward. he was panicking and it was the last thing he wanted to say before losing the crush tm, so he did. ended up NOT losing him! yay!

[tumblunni]

OKAY I FOUND SOMEONE SCANNED THE JAPANESE VERSION OF THE PERSONA 5 ARTBOOK!!! I’m still preordering the english version though. And this seems to have a LOT more text info and interviews than other artbooks I’ve got, so the english version will still be enlightening even though i cant resist the temptation to read this preview here... So yeah, I’m gonna link this in case anyone else wants to see! And also cos i really wanna talk about the interesting stuff AAAA!

IT HERE

But seriously I would feel ALL OF THE GUILT if I just read this and DIDNT buy the real version when it comes out in my country. So I’d heavily advise that all of y’all buy it too, okay? Its just real hard to wait til september.

Bunni’s Thoughts About Things In This Thing:

* The one everyone already seemed to know was Yusuke’s beta design, I think it was shown in an english interview or something? But yeah, I already knew about this, but I still really think he looks even cooler with long hair! And I like that they ended up using this design for his mother instead. That just feels like a really sweet way to deal with beta designs! Apparantly Ann’s design was based on Rise’s beta design from the last game, so its nice to know that atlus always tries to find ways to keep promising ideas, even if they dont work with the current project. ANYWAY BETA YUSUKE OF CUTE

* Also unrelated but: did you know that Yusuke slapping people during the Harisen Recovery skill was actually a GLITCH and not a feature?? It strikes me as weird that they didn’t catch that in the super long time it took to finish the various dubs. Its a meme in japanese fandom too, so its definately in every version of the game! They only just patched it recently and I AM SAD NOW. It fit really well as an easter egg for this character in particular, lol.

* ALSO I am sorry that i commonly misspell his name as Yosuke. Its weird cos I never get Ryoji and Ryuji mixed up... ANYWAY BACK TO COOL BETA TALK AND NOT JUST YUSUKE LOVE TIME

* Beta Wakaba (futaba’s mom) used to have the hairstyle that was given to Haru instead! O_o She looks really cute with it, I guess they thought it was hard to make the shadow boss scary with such awesome hair. There’s also a beta doodle of what seems to be an alternate introduction scene, where the party would be walking down an alleyway and her giant face would appear behind them as a jumpscare. I THINK I WOULD HAVE FUCKIN DIED! that’s some fuan no tane shit!

* Man I didnt even recognise beta kawakami! O_O I would have thought that was beta takemi, or even yusuke’s mom again...

* Oh man, Sae is already one of the coolest and most beautiful looking characters but seriously beta Sae has EVEN MORE of that badass butch lady handsomeness holy shit. If I can appreciate her aesthetic so much as an asexual person, I can only imagine how other fans would feel about this!

* I have legit no idea who this character is, but she looks badass! Its a shame this imgurl dump of scans is completely out of order, lol! Another reason to buy the official version when its translated: actually knowing the context of things! XD

* Same design for papa okumura’s shadow, but it seems there was originally an idea for a chase minigame with his shadow. Instead of being weak with an army of reinforcements to fight thru, he’d be weak but keep fleeing in his motor chair thing. Considering how much I DESPISED the chase minigames in Nocturne and DDS2, i am really damn glad they didnt do that...

* BETA PERSONAS!! Wow they’re so different?? Its weird how they seem to be like.. different art styles/personalities for the same character idea? Maybe this was from before the personalities of everyone had been pinned down, or maybe the personas originally belonged to different party members? i’m really curious by the goemon in a modern punk style, did he belong to ryuji??? MORE BETA PERSONAS!! Oh holy SHIT, johanna is SUCH a good design! like... what?? BADASS!! typical lady pope face attatched to a buff as fuck body in a jojo-esque costume, with like an encapsulated hat thing with halves of a mask of a cliche male pope. This design has way more to do with the actual story of that mythological figure! Popecycle was cool too tho, I think maybe they should have made someone else be popecycle, and then johanna could be the second persona using this design and taking the place of Anat.

* Beta Ohya has a nice design! Its not even necessarily a cooler costume or anything, I just like how they try and show her personality more through it. She looks more dishevelled and overworked and has some bandages. Dunno why they couldnt have worked that into her final design!

* BETA MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK jesus christ thats almost as creepy as some of the beta Teddie designs I mean, I like using swirly eyes on a lot of my mascot ideas too, but that sort of face just looks a bit unnerving along with the body being like.. all leather and weirdly detailed. Its like ann’s costume but on a damn cat! As its skin! What!

* Some goofy expressions of final design morgana that ended up not being used.

* Beta Iwai looks like a younger AZ from pokemon??

* Beta design for protagonist’s thief costume and persona, which were WILDLY different! I like the all-concealing cloak, it looks like it would have animated really flashily. Tho i totally agree that showing more of protagonist’s actual design works better for the version of him you’ll be seeing 24/7 in battles.

* Not a beta design, but look at this concept art of Makoto beating up everyone. I love makoto so much.

* Aww I kinda prefer the beta costume for [spoily endgame character]. It makes her seem closer to [other two characters of relevance to her]. I mean, not like I dislike her costume, but I really liked [those two characetrs’s costume] so hers seemed a bit boring in comparison. Having it at least have more similar design elements to other [people in that place] would have gone a long way towards making her seem less like just... Alice, as a person isntead of a persona. (It would have been a cool plot if that was her backstory tho, lol!)

* I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE BUT I LOVE THEM! Are they rejected Confidants? Or designs for characters mentioned in confidants who never appeared? i wish we got to see the sick lil girl in takemi’s subplot, it would be cute if she looked like that design there.

* Another beta of Milady! She used to have the same design but different weapons would come out in a different way. Knives instead of guns looks a lot scarier, but I dont like the weird garbage disposal mermaid thing, just from the fact people would inevitably make vagina jokes.

* Beta Futaba was very similar but just with different outfits. She looks really cute with a beanie hat and EVEN MORE becomes Literally Me As A Character. Seriouslyyyyyy

* Also we never get to see the mounting animation for futaba’s ultimate persona. I like it a lot better cos robot hands come out and carry her to the cockpit, instead of weird tentacles. Seriously, again, inevitable pile of stupid sex jokes about that. *sigh*

* A nice bigger reference of P5 Loki design, without all the SFX and stuff during that boss battle. I really like the way he sits on his sword sassily, and how it levitates around instead of swinging it normally. I also never noticed he has hoof-like heels! With that and the long ponytails it kinda looks like they were trying to give him an eight limbs sort of look, so maybe the design is meant to invoke Sleipnir?

* HEY. UMM. HOH. LEE. SHIT. I guess this kinda counts as beta cos we never get to see this, even if its part of the final design?? Seriously, I thought the shiny red bit was like the visor of his helmet, not a mouthpiece! LOKI’S HORNS COME OUT OF HIS FUCKING EYEBALLS! What the FUCK, they should have shown some sort of animation to make that clearer, that would be SO scary and fitting for that particular boss fight!

* A few beta outfits for our heroes! Ryuji originally had a clown mask instead of a skull, and Makoto wore a jacket with a biker gang logo, in addition to everything else biker gang. INCREASE BIKER GANG! Eeeeeven more beta outfit designs! Some more cyberpunky thing for ann, and a blue colourscheme protagonist, and a character with a sledgehammer who seems unused. There’s Iwai’s gecko tattoo there, so maybe originally his role was gonna be a school-aged ally instead of an adult shopkeeper? or maybe his son would join the party? The hero also originally wore Arsene’s top hat, and there’s this mysterious pic of two characters that I dunno who they are?? They look like twins, so it makes me wonder if that means there was originally a gender choice for the protag...

* A lot of storyboards for scenes that never happened! There’s a female character we’ve never seen before, so maybe that adds more to the theory of a rejected fem!protag option...

* Beta Ann had a bunch of different ways they tried to make her look like catwoman but not too much catwoman. She also used to use a crossbow as her ranged weapon!