#Batdad

[theocddiaries]

Jason: My car is perfectly fine. Damian: The door can't even close. Yesterday, I almost fell out while you were driving. Jason: Stop whining about things that almost happened. When your mother dropped me back into the world, I almost killed your father by putting a bomb in his car, and yet here we are. Bruce: You what? Jason: This is a private conversation with the son you didn’t know existed for ten years. Not everything is about you, Bruce.

[yuesgirlfriend]

'

the death. the test. the ultimatum. the sacrifice. god never speaks to abraham again.

[ditzyredrobin]

“-and you know, the whole Interpol thing.” Tim says cutting through his slice of pot roast. Which was apparently a mistake because when he looks up, all eyes were on him. “What?”

Dick was mid bite, eyes suddenly wide, and Jason was leaning back, looking unfazed as always, if not amused.

“What Interpol thing?” Bruce is the first to speak, brow furrowed.

Tim shrugs. “I mean, it’s not that big a deal. There was this thing months ago but it’s handled now.”

-

Y’know, that time in Red Robin Tim was probably definitely wanted by Interpol. Just another normal Sunday dinner in the Wayne household.

Will I continue this? Probably.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

(when the batkids are going out) Stephanie:...So we'll bring home some Chinese food? Bruce: Yep, sure. Cassandra(as she leaves): OK, don't start a brothel while we're gone - just kidding, you can. Damian(as he leaves): And no making a fort out of the couch cushions! - Just kidding, you can. Jason: But don't turn that fort into a brothel! - Just kidding, you can. Bruce: Oh my God, just - Jason: - I mean it's illegal, but - Bruce: - I know, just go.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Why Batcest is not only harmful but also dosen't work with the characters

Jason has explicitly stated he's disgusted at the thought of kissing his brothers(any of his four brothers was his exact wording i.e Batcest!Jason is debunked but core Batkid!Duke is canon)and shown dislike for older men on the basis of being older men at multiple points,ntm he's implied to have a daddy kink on the recieving end but he's also anti-sa(pushing a man off a roof as Robin for running a sex trafficking ring and killing a pedophillic teacher for abusing one of his student's)

Dick is romani,Cass is an easian woman and Damian is arab and there's stereotypes about inherently being into incest against all three of those groups

While this rarely happens,Duke Batcest is racist too because of the deep,DEEP history behind incestous abuse on black people by antiblacks and incest fetishes presented as 'gay culture' are a result of the whitewashing of queer history to exclude and demonize black people and include incestous white abusers

Devin Grayson has apologized for her B.rudick writings and said it was a bad coping mechanism on her part she should've never written that only hurt her further and was offensive to other survivors on her part,especially ones of color

'Batman and Robin are a gay metaphor' is not something actual comics writers belived and was simply an innapropriate rumor spread by the pedophiles of the time looking for validation and the actual comics writers created love interests for Dick and Bruce to dispell the rumors because they were correctly disgusted and offended at the implication they were writing an adult man as dating his adoptive elementary school aged son and the fact the LI in question were female is irrelevant and not 'homophobic' as they were trying to avoid homophobic stereotyping with them in addition to the decent human being thing called 'hating pedophiles in all contexts'

While T!mcass was indeed canon at one point,this was all pre-Cass adoption when they weren't completely concrete on where her character was going but post-Cass adoption,these elements of implied romance between them were removed and completely ignored

Bruce's dynamic with Dick is described as a mix between brothers and father and son,Jason,Tim,Cass and Duke textually view Bruce as good as a biodad,Bru.dami has zero canon incarnations and with the exception of Stephanie,The Batkids all have multiple instinces of refering to eachother as siblings both individually and as (a) group

Relatedly(lmao),Robins 2022 was mid and a waste of paper for the exact reason of the Duke exclusion to pander to the Four Batboys + 'Token' Stephanie fanonization that is universally present in Batcest fake fan content.There's no Robins without Duke and there's no Batkids with Batcest.The BatCREST is the FAMILY legacy for a reasons sweetcakes

[morgangalaxy43]

I like how Bruce totally outdid himself because in the Gotham By Gaslight movie he ended getting Dick, Jason and Tim all at once and then he ended up meeting Dick, Jason, Stephanie and Carrie at the same time

[lokutofu]

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

[angicoforest]

No anatomy just darkness

[ashoss]

some things dont change

[haveihitanerve]

Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously

Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.” 

The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers

The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’ 

When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’

Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument

Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that

When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing. 

Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[theocddiaries]

Dick: Don’t be so hard on Bruce; he’s going through a rough patch. Jason: A rough patch of ten years… I’m making a list of nursing homes to plan my revenge, anyway.

[bruciemilf]

Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.

Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.

“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”

Dick, very sweetly, “No.”

Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.

He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”

Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.

It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.

Jason, on the other hand.

Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.

“You signed a contract, sir.”

Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”

Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”

Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.

He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.

Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”

“Without.”

“Jay.”

“FINE.”

Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.

Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.

Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.

There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”

“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”

“…Thank you.”

[jbharts]

It's called fashion, Bruce

another repost from my Instagram in 2021

[singswan-springswan]

[morgangalaxy43]

DC desperately needs to be more like Wayne Family Adventures or the Lego Batman movie or Batman the animated series and make Bruce more of a good dad and not have the batfamily constantly suffering