#Batkids

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

“that’s not accurate to the comics!!” I couldn’t care less, these r my dolls and I will do whatever I want to them, i’m playing house goddamnit!! lemme live in my delusions!! It’s called feeding ur inner child!!!

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Damian, why do you torment me?

Damian: I am your hubris manifested.

[neptunezo]

Out of the blue, Bruce announces to the batfam, that he does, in fact, have a favorite child. He proposes a challenge, that anyone who can guess the favorite child gets first dibs on Alfreds cooking for a whole month (practically winning the lottery) so the batkids are now invested.

Damian immediately guesses Dick, fully under the impression that he’s right and Bruce is just trying to play mind games with them. Damian was incorrect.

Dick guesses Jason after finding out it’s not him, he was wrong, it’s not Jason.

Now Jason is intrigued, he’s noticed Tim still hasn’t guessed but is probably analyzing everything. Knowing Tim takes awhile (even if he is always correct) Jason goes ahead and guesses anyways, completely confident in his answer. Jason guesses Duke, he is incorrect.

Babs, knowing she isn’t one of Bruces kids so she doesn’t count for this challenge (because if she did it would obviously be her) she guesses Damian, the obvious choice. His biological son. Bruce smirks and shakes his head.

Duke guesses Tim, an answer that would make the most sense. I mean, Tim is practically Bruce 2.0, but he isn’t the favorite child.

Suddenly it clicks, Tim is now frustrated it took him so long to see. Obviously the favorite is Cass, who else could it be?? Tim almost has a tantrum when told he was wrong.

Now everyone is confused, they’ve gone through all of his kids. Tim doesn’t know why he hasn’t solved this puzzle yet. He looks for more clues and sees Cass wearing a ring. An engagement ring. The same one Steph is also wearing. It finally makes sense.

“I know who it is,” Tim brags. “But I’ve already used my guess, so Cass, please do the honors.”

Cass then points to Stephanie. Bruce has the biggest grin on his face as his nods. This is how they all find out that Cass and Steph are getting married.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

The Batkids all decide to go into med school just to spite Bruce because he dropped out.

They might have overestimated themselves because it quickly becomes more of a challenge of "Who can do this the longest?"

Barbara is laughing at them over the comms.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Duke: What are you doing here?

Duke: ... Your excellency.

Damian: You don't call her "your excellency."

Talia: No, no, I kinda like it.

[zodarii-dae]

the batkids absolutely have a shared spotify account. they each have playlists with the songs they like to listen to while patrolling/doing cases/training/etc.

it’s very popular; gothamites absolutely love listening to it. there have been physical fights over who has the best music taste. sometimes, if they know there’s going to be a specific bat around, they’ll play their playlist. red hood’s is playing somewhere in crime alley pretty much all the time.

the only person who doesn’t have access is bruce, because he might delete the ‘fuck batman’ playlist (which is, of course, a playlist of all the songs bruce hates. they play it whenever he annoys them).

they even have specific playlists for fighting different rogues. oracle can and will take over any speakers she can find to play them.

[audhd-nightwing]

“dick grayson is the favorite child”

let’s be real here, the eldest child is never the favorite. they’re just the one saddled with the most responsibility.

[vodrae]

If Batman is the Big Black Bat, Cassandra is the Small Black Bat. Thanks for coming.

[ahfrickenfrick]

the batkids decide play a new game on patrol where they try to yell the most outrageous thing jumping into a fight

bruce bans the game after stephanie runs into a crowd of bystanders and muggers yelling

‘bienvenue power bottoms!’

and it causes jason to crash into a power pole from how hard he was laughing

[haveihitanerve]

Okay but the Batkids using Dad with Bruce when they know hes been having a rough day-

Bruce comes back from a JL meeting upset, not because something went wrong but because they aren't acting like a team, and Dick jumps into his arms and crawls over his shoulders and drapes himself across his back and is like “dad! You're home!” and suddenly bruce feels better

Or Bruce excuses himself from a Gala, pissed off because someone whispered his kids are just charity cases he uses to get publicity and Cass slips into the room through a vent and hugs hims from behind murmuring, “its okay daddy. We know the truth.”

~alternatively~

The batkids calling bruce dad when they've had a bad day because they have to make conscious effort to call him bruce and when they are just exhausted and done its too much effort to not call him dad-

Jason storms into the manor, pissed off after finding a woman who took drugs and killed herself and left her daughter alone, and slumps onto the couch. Bruce notices and comes over with a cup of tea and one of jasons favorite books, presses a kiss to his forehead and covers him with a blanket and jason murmurs a quiet “thanks dad” before relaxing with his book

Or Tim has spent four consecutive days in the Cave, only surviving off of coffee and spite and Bruce finally snaps, grabbing him in a blanket and burritoing him and carrying him to his room and spoon feeding him alfred food and Tim is so exhausted he just mutters “thanks dad.” before falling asleep

Or Steph is out on patrol and she slips and her foot lands poorly and she screams in pain, hitting the ground, but in just a few seconds Batman is at her side, wrapping it for her and helping her to stand and as she sags against him she lets out a slightly pained, “thanks dad.” as he helps her to the batmobile.

[tammysart]

a quite night of catching wayward Robins ~

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

joker jr is truly one of my favorite things in the world, it’s so good!! the angst!! the tramua is so scrumptious!! I am salivating over how complex it makes Jason and Tim’s relationships

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: We do this the old-fashioned way

Jason: *pulls out a Molotov cocktail*

Dick: How did you make that so fast?!

[nightwolf14292]

Hey! Look! An overdone meme! Still fun to draw tho

[brucewaynehater101]

I need more fanwork of one of the batkids (I'm voting Tim, Cass, or Duke) looking at someone and telling the rest of the Bats that the vibes are off.

Legit, some person who seems ordinary or nice gets vibe checked by specific batkids (who are known for making instant accurate deductions of character).

Just the kid going, "I don't like them," and the other Bats nodding as if this is perfectly logical reasoning.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Love the implication that Jefferson's out here habitually seducing MILFs