#Batman Twitter

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Part Five master-post

I giggled making this one

[leftdreamlandjellyfish]

[booster-outsold]

bruce is not very hapy

[bucky-rabbit]

Guys, I think Batman's twitter got hacked.

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[astorianyxkings]

There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.

Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.

Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.

And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.

One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.

The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.

Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke: Bruce, can you sign something for school?

Bruce, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.

[deejay]

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

Another chapter of my "The Waynes on Twitter" work on AO3

Masterlist of Tweets

33 - Manors haunted.

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[bruciemilf]

bruciemilf jumpscare

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Part four master/post

[galaxy---ghost]

save me 90s oracle

[booster-outsold]

the continuation of bruce’s twitter activity

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

[baihujun]

I drew a guest art for finch's artbook

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]