#Battle of the milfs

[wlwmoviebracket]

round 2 (40/64)

[saaltskies]

i went to bed right after finishing the epilogue but i am now awake and can put my silly little rant here

[thankyoumskobayashi]

we finally get to see her

[an-ungraceful-swan]

Do Athena and Edaline get to meet?

Omg they should.

[radioromantic-moved]

[snapewife-divorce-lawyer]

counting down the top 10 sexiest droids in star wars.

i’m 100% serious btw. this is based solely on my memory so if i forgot your fav, feel free to comment

#10

this guys from a new hope! now i must somewhat shamefully admit that this is based entirely on looks. but i mean come on look at it. instantly clocked it as a freek

#9

these annoying fuckers from clone wars. this goofy ass attempt to make battledroids more intimidating did at least produce a droid i wouldn’t mind coming home to every night. these guys are huge brats too. excited to see how that plays out in more intimate settings

#8

it’s just something about it. i can’t put my finger on. its so resolute and sinister, and yet it is not unlike a a wild rabbit. it’s delicate hands and big eyes make me want to care for it. i want this thing to call me mommy.

#7

the ferryman from the mandalorian. he is so dutiful. a powerful aura. he looks like he could hold me tight in those big strong arms

#6

i could fix him

#5

look we all knew this was coming. he’s powerful sexual presence it’s simply undeniable. the baddest bitch in star wars just barely beating lando. i’ve chosen the sexiest picture of him that i could find. enjoy.

#4

battle droids but specifically the ones with paint on them. i think these would have the closest analogue to human intimacy of any on this list. and even then, kissing them is an exciting geometric chalenge

#3

sexiest picture in this post by far. oh my god these look inside books. should i be tagging this as nsfw? this diabolical baddie even deploys one of my favorite droids ever. making her the only droid milf that i can think of.

#2

gonk droids. but specifically gonky from the bad batch. i think this one is probably the most indescribable. i can say little details like how he kinda reminds me of 80s computers and i love 80s computers, or how the simplest shape can sometimes be the best, or how cute it is when he kicks his feet in the air while he is being used for weightlifting, but none of it really adds up to how i feel

and the number one sexiest droid in star wars (and it’s not even close) is:

chopper. obviously.

dilf dot com. this guy has such an attractive personality. beyond words how wonderful his design is. one of my favorite star wars characters and one of the best droid designs

[juliavargas2]

MILFs battle in a different way

FORBIDDEN LUST HOTEL 1: A surprising challenge. Nena and her daughter Jill meet a new world of rivalry and lust when they visit Nena’s sister, Joan, and her sultry daughter Trish

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Lust-Hotel-surprising-challenge-ebook/dp/B07DNN9ZNM

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/905292

[jame7t]

My new game: BATTLE MILFS

Goal: be deafeated by 10 milfs

MSRP: $70.00

Publisher: Microsaft

[rottenpumpkin13]

Highlights From the SOLDIER Group Chat

All SOLDIER operatives are required to be apart of the official group chat, a space where they can comfortably communicate and relay messages en mass.

• Genesis sending PDFs of the Communist Manifesto at random.

• Director Lizard™ memes every Wednesday provided by Zack.

• Sephiroth using "DTF" to indicate that he's free to spar. Genesis had told him it means "Down To Fight."

• Zack sending a picture to the group chat holding the severed head of the president ShinRa statue, along with the caption "I fucked up."

• Someone changing the group chat name to DilfGeal™ and friends.

• Genesis sending "Sephiroth you forgot your briefs at my apartment" and turning his phone off.

• Zack and Kunsel's rap battle through voice notes.

• Sephiroth using "IWTFY" to indicate that he's free to spar. Genesis told him it means "I Want To Fight You."

• Roche changing the group chat name to Sephiroth's wig.

• The mystery penis™ — someone accidentally sent a nude to the group chat at 3 AM and quickly deleted it, but the picture automatically saved to everyone's device and it incited a month long discourse and speculation about the mystery penis. No, it wasn't Genesis.

• The day they discovered there was a turk informant lurking in the group chat (it was Reno) after said lurker insulted Zack, it escalated and Angeal went out looking for Reno to "chat."

• Genesis sending "THE 👁️ GODDESS 👁️ IS 👁️ WATCHING 👁️" after every misdeed.

• The day professor Hojo joined the chat so everyone changed their name and profile pictures to Sephiroth.

• Lazard: screen name "Milf-Muncher-5000" kindly revert to your government name and profile picture. I know this is you, Commander Rhapsodos.

• Sephiroth once misspelled the word "laughed" as "laft" and now instead of "lol" or "lmao" everyone just "LAF"

• Everyone spamming the hashtag #GetHewley'd after someone is scolded by Angeal.

• Kunsel posting a list of estimated hex codes and measurements of everyone's junk and chaos ensuing right afterwards. Genesis in particular is outraged at why his is so underestimated. He proceeds to send everyone his correct measurements.

• Zack using too many emojis, oftentimes only using emojis.

• If you swear, Angeal kicks you out, so everyone starts using Zack's name as a substitute for for curse words. "ZACK YOU!" is a particularly popular one.

• Sephiroth randomly sending unflattering pictures of Genesis. Then he sends a voice note of his office door being beaten down by Genesis.

• Sending random pictures and depictions of lizards and captioning them "FOUND THE DIRECTOR"

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “So this is what a full hotel looks like…”

Vaggie: “Think it’ll survive until Extermination day?”

Charlie: “I don’t know if I’LL survive to Extermination day.”

Vaggie: “Aww, babe.”

Charlie: “Seriously, who keeps ordering pizza??? We all already KNOW the cannibals will just skip it and try chewing on the poor delivery person!”

Vaggie: “My bet’s on Angel Dust. He’s not exactly thrilled the place got filled up with ‘shit smiling judgmental prudes.’”

Charlie: “Whyyy didn’t I remember the cannibals have a whole dress-code thingy?”

Vaggie: “They are being polite about it though.”

Charlie: “They keep eyeing Angel Dust’s exposed thighs like they’re chicken wings.”

Vaggie: “And if they wanted to eat him up in any other way, he’d be thrilled.”

Charlie: (growling) “Some of them keep looking at YOUR thighs as if they were-”

Vaggie: “Anything other than property of Charlie Morningstar?”

Charlie: “-Vaggie they want to TEAR YOU APART!”

Vaggie: “And they’re not actually trying it, which is polite, even if they’re still talking about how angels might taste whenever I’m in the room.”

Charlie: (pout) “You taste good.”

Vaggie: “Not like that, babe.”

Charlie: “How could the rest of you not taste good too??”

Vaggie: ���Ask the cannibals. Meat flavors based on where the meat thing lived and what it ate, something something- What if angel steaks taste like artificial food coloring?”

Charlie: “I like those-!”

Vaggie: "I know." (laughing) “Maybe that’s another reason why you’re the woman of my dreams.”

Charlie: “Am I?”

Vaggie: “The one and only.”

Charlie: “You’d never… think about leaving me for someone else?”

Vaggie: “NO?”

Charlie: “Someone a little more badass maybe?”

Vaggie: “Not possible. You called heaven out for being total bullshit. In a song.”

Charlie: “Maybe someone you had an instant and deep connection with?”

Vaggie: “Like the woman that bandaged my eye socket and took me home with her and nursed me through physical and emotional hell all because she also thought sinners might be people worth caring about?”

Charlie: “Well what about someone who… is just better? At the whole. Everything.”

Vaggie: “Literally who. Who the fuck-”

Charlie: “Carmilla?”

Vaggie: “Car-hhhhHHH." (chokes)

Vaggie: "AHAHAHAHAH! Charlie! WHAT!?”

Charlie: “She’s cool. She’s one of those, those muffin things right? Angel Dust said-”

Vaggie: “A milf, sweetie. It’s milf and PLEASE also listen to Husk’s reality checks whenever Angel Dust opens his well meaning but dumb as shit whore mouth.”

Angel Dust: (distantly) “My HOT and SEXY whore mouth heard that, toots!”

Vaggie: (yelling back) “Then go stick a dick in it!”

Angel Dust: “I’m tryin’~”

Charlie: (used to this) (ignoring them) “So the whole private training battle song thing was, not a turn on for you? At all?”

Vaggie: “If I ever call Carmilla Carmine ‘mommy’ it’ll be because she just signed my adoption papers.”

Charlie: “Oh! Okay! Juuuust wanted to check.”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “Are you gonna ask about me and the head-to-heart I had with-”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “-because I was literally thinking about you the whole time-“

Vaggie: (smile) “That just took a perfectly non-worrying thing and made it sound bad.”

Charlie: “Is there a thing like a- an elf??”

Vaggie: “Aunt you’d like to fuck?”

Charlie: “Well not ME personally. But Rosie is very impressive.”

Vaggie: “You looked more impressed up in heaven.”

Charlie: “Huh? Heaven??”

Vaggie: “Nothing- never mind. I do actually have a lady-related question for you though.”

Charlie: “What does heaven have to do with- what?”

Vaggie: “I think I’m in love.”

Charlie: “WHAT!?”

Vaggie: “She’s ripped out my heart and I want to thank her for it.”

Charlie: “Th-thh that’s wait how when-?”

Vaggie: “Charlie.”

Charlie: “-y, yes?”

Vaggie: “Can we keep inviting Susan over, even after Extermination day?”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Susan.”

Vaggie: “Charlie please? Please? She's the granny I don't deserve and desperately need in my life. Please please please please-”

Charlie: “But, Vaggie- She HATES everyone!”

Vaggie: “I know!”

Charlie: “And she SAYS it!?”

Vaggie: “And it’s so fucking cool.”

Charlie: “She said you dress like a hooker!”

Vaggie: “Angel Dust was furious. I think he would’ve thrown a punch at her, in defense of hookers everywhere, if Husk hasn’t grabbed him.”

Charlie: “A LAZY hooker!”

Vaggie: “That one hit home and I’ll cherish it’s sting forever.”

Charlie: “She’s not NICE. She doesn’t even PRETEND to be nice like the other cannibals do!”

Vaggie: “Isn’t that great?” (grinning) “She’s like, the anti-Alastor….”

Charlie: (sigh)

Charlie: “I guess… being brutally, painfully, rudely honestly about your feelings is… not the worst thing someone can be.”

Vaggie: “YES! Can we adopt the creepy old mean lady?”

Charlie: “She can visit. We are NOT inviting her to LIVE here.”

Vaggie: (smiling)

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: (drooping) “…not unless she wants to.”

Vaggie: “Thanks, sweetie.” (kiss) “She never would. She hates us all and especially the hotel. Ask her and she’ll tell you, in detail, how all our decorating ideas are terrible and she’s only here to grab the free snacks, shove some angel leftovers in her basket, and then fuck off to her own perfect home back in Cannibal Town.”

Charlie: “So why scare me like that by asking? SUSAN in the attic! Ughghgh…”

Vaggie: “’cause it’s nice hearing you’d be open to it anyway.”

Charlie: “Mmrmph.”

Vaggie: “I like remembering that you’re like this.”

Charlie: “Whipped marshmallow.”   

Vaggie: "That Angel Dust again?"

Charlie: "Maybe."

Vaggie: "I've got a better word for you."

Charlie: "Like 'girlfriend?"

Vaggie: “Like amazing.”

Charlie: (snorts) (smiles) "Heh. Alright, flattery accepted."

Vaggie: "My wonderfully, adorably dramatic, heart stopping and breathtakingly passionate girlfriend, the most incredible person I've ever met, who-"

Charlie: (laughing) “Now who’s being a sweetie?”

Vaggie: “Charlie, I’m seri- whoah!”

Niffty: (lifting up floor board vaggie was standing on and peeking up at them) “Hey guys!”

Charlie: “Niffty!” (hug lifting vaggie to safety) “W- hi! Um! What is it?”

Niffty: “A bad day not to wear underwear!”

Vaggie: “And a good day to Die.”

Niffty: "I WISH!" (GIGGLES) “News from the hotel gossip line! S.O.S from Husk- he says Angel Dust and some cannibals are fighting over who gets to put the new pizza delivery in their mouths while Cherri’s taking bets and also shots.”

Charlie: "Shots of alcohol?"

Niffty: "Laser gun!"

Charlie: "Nooooo I thought we'd cleaned up everything after Pen's last inventing spree!"

Niffty: "Missed one. She keeps missing too. She fried the pizza."

Vaggie: "Instead of?"

Niffty: (GRINS) "The pizza delivery person!"

Vaggie: “Ugh. We look away for Ten. Minutes.”

Charlie: “Well that’s not- that’s not TOO bad! At least Sir Pentious isn’t-”

Niffty: “His corpse is in the lobby.”

Charlie: “-right. Okay.”

Vaggie: “Why is he a corpse in the hotel lobby this time?”

Niffty: “The cannibals accidentally ate his tongue while he was trying to show Cherri how long it was and then he choked while proving he has no gag reflect and can unhinge his jaws.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Niffty: “The cannibals want to snack on him again but Susan keeps yelling at them about ‘crumbling standards’ and ‘back in HER day-‘”

Vaggie: “I love her.”

Charlie: “I’m right here.”

Vaggie: “You kinda love her too right now.”

Charlie: (pulls face) “She can come to dinner every other week. If we live. For now though, let’s just, um.”

Vaggie: “Go save the snake man?”

Niffty: “That man is DEAD!”

Charlie: “Resuscitate. We should go resuscitate the snake m- Sir Pentious.”

Niffty: (giggles) “And I’m gonna go order another pizza boy~” (scurries back under floor board)

Vaggie: “Wait, Niffty-”

Charlie: “Niffty! Are YOU the one who’s been-? Vaggie NO-”

Vaggie: (spear out) (in pursuit) “GET OUT OF THE CRAWL SPACES RIGHT NOW AND COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE-”

[radioromantic-moved]

[yandereaffections]

My Hero Academia Masterlist

Izuku Midoriya (Deku)

Coming home covered in blood begging for love

Headcannons

“if you dont love me ill kill myself”

Deku vs Bakugo

Naga Izuku

S/o who is clingy during their period

Punishments

Kidnapped S/o giving up

Jealous S/o leaving hickeys all over him

College Roomate

Siren Izuku w/ Lost at sea S/o

S/o w/ Psychedelic quirk

Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit

S/o w/ a Angelic quirk

Not letting anyone else touch his S/o

Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o

Naga Izuku w/ Crush whos terrified of snakes

S/o who is tired all the time

The Purge + Blind S/o

Poly Uraraka/Deku HC

Nurse S/o

Tough S/o using her quirk to play with kids

S/o who loves his fluffy hair

Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them

Dating Aizawas daughter

“hows the weather up there?”

Siren

Villain Deku trying to supply his vampire s/o with his blood

Darlings whos accidently morbid and creepy

Finding Crush s/o crying cause they were rejected by someone else

Gifting him an actual heart in a jar for Valentines

Yandere Alphabet: B,D,H,M,O

Villain Deku Headcannons

Comforting S/o who is upset over a character design change

Goth Darling who melts at affection

Comforting S/o who feels objectified

Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons

S/o who cant kiss directly in fear of eye contact

Darling attracting butterflies to them with their blood

Kidnapped S/o breaking down in relief that they dont have to worry about school anymore

Kidnapped Darling demanding cuddles when coming home

S/o that demands affection

Darling who loves that love lolita fashion but broke

Poly Kirideku

S/o wearing a lolita dress inspired by his hero outfit

Izuku Midoriya vs Peter Parker

S/o likes to be carried by him

S/o escapes only to come back with fast food

S/o saying "Yo! Guess what I found!!" with a arrow in their shoulder

S/o who jokes they're basically a acrow with anxiety cause they love shiny

"Why would you want me? You could have anyone you wanted"

Bakugo Katsuki

Deku vs Bakugo

Shut in S/o

S/o who has low self esteem due to family

S/o whose friends are affectionate

S/o Practicing their Love Confession with Deku

Accidentally hurting S/os feelings

Unknowingly kidnapping Vampire S/o

Liking Naga Bakugos punishments

Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o

Werewolf Bakugo protecting his mate

S/o whose parents dont let them have more than the minimum

S/o does illegal quirk cage battles

S/o Revealing her Healing quirk

Tall darling with low self esteem

Parents not supporting S/o after Winning tournament

Quiet crush Kabedoning him

S/o who can beat his ass

Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them

S/o has a ‘villainous’ quirk

Kidnapped darling ignoring him

Naga Bakugo/Hunted down

Darling confessing to him first

Only being soft for his S/o

Villain Darling

S/o who’s the polar opposite of him

Finding his missing  kidnapped S/o in his bed

Kidnapped darling loving him back

S/o who spars cause they want to be pinned

Accidently hurting a low self esteem reader

Bat quirked reader

Aizawa Shouta

Depressed S/o

Villain S/o

NS FW HC

The Purge

Vampire

Drider

Vampire S/o

Demon

Demon Aizawa w/ angel s/o

Life Threatening situation

S/o being forced to be a Villain cause their family is that way

Werewolf Aizawa

S/o who relaxes when he plays with their hair

Thicc S/o

S/o who loves cats just as much as him

Making him jealous from giving all your attention to cats

Cuddling HC

Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/O prt 2 (prt one on Hawks section)

Shinso dating Aizawas child

Cat like S/o

Stalking celerity S/o

S/o with daddy issues

S/o w/ a Bear quirk

Taking care of his new child

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,E,L,W

Student reader turns out to be the UA Traitor

Finding his S/o tangled in his scarf

Headcannons

S/os personality changes around animals

Stalker Headcannons

Finding out crush sleeps with a eraser head plushie

Tall S/o that pulls him into their chest in every hug

Aizawa falling for a MILF S/o

S/o who was rejected at first before Aizawa fell for them

S/o avoiding him cause they think theyre annoying

Todoroki Shoto

Jealous Todoroki

Yandere Crush

Kidnapping Tourist S/o

“You’ve already made me a victim, no need to make me a liar too”

Naga Todoroki

Yakuza Leader S/o attempting to send a hit on his father

S/o who wants to be a Manga artist more than a hero

Sick Darling

S/o whos clingy during their period

Yandere Alphabet: C,E,K,W

Falling for S/o HC

Villain Shoto w/ civilian crush

Villain Shoto w/ Villain crush

Engulfing him in a hug after a battle happy hes ok

S/o doesnt speak the same language

Tsuyu Asui

S/o’s a fan of hers

Hitoshi Shinso

Siren Hitoshi using his voice to make S/o take their swimsuit off

Naga Hitoshi

Shinso dating Aizawas child

How he would treat you

Dabi Todoroki

Headcannons

S/o who’s unfazed by Dabis appearance

Innocent Baby sitter crush

Witch S/o

S/o with healing tears family constantly makes them cry

Freedom HC

Stealing his drugged crush after a dental surgery

socially awkward and anxious s/o

another social anxiety s/o HC

Celebrating S/os Birthday

Commenting he should visit his mother more

Gentle darling S/o

S/os in a loveless quirk marriage

Loner S/o

Fluff HCs

S/o who has a cruel family

S/o whos so scared of dadi they cry anytime he gets near

Kidnapping his S/o

Shigaraki Tomura

HC

Buff s/o who’s actually a softie

someone hurting his darling right infront of him

Younger sister reader

S/o also has skin problems

Affectionate and loving darling

S/o who only allows him to touch them

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,H,I

S/o w/ a quirk similar to his own

Sick darling

Proposing to him

Finding out S/o is his favorite streamer

Peaceful S/o who hates violence

S/o who looking at him with motherly loving eyes

Breaking down and coming to him for comfort

Gentle darling

S/o saying he takes away their emotional pain

naive and trusting darling

“Do I need to remind you what happened last time you acted out? Because I will if you keep pushing me.”

Someone trying to save kidnapped S/o

Kirishima Eijirou

Headcannons

Fluff HC

S/o who acts tough but is actually really soft

Finding his S/o fighting Bakugou

Poly Kirideku

Getting jealous over how you treat your friend

Momo Yaoyorozu

Headcannons

S/o Spoiling her

S/o wants more stuffed animals but already has a bed full of them

Poly Uraraka/Deku

Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit

Poly Uraraka/Deku HC

More Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons

Tamaki Amajiki

S/o isnt bothered with being kidnapped

S/o whos on their period

Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC

Vampire

S/o also has Anxiety

Kidnapped s/o insisting on a movie night

S/o is something like the mom of 1A

Seeing his darling is stabbed yet calm about it

Coming home to S/o and their collapsed pillow fort

S/o who loves to cook

Gifting him butterfly hairclips

Hearing S/o saying "Do you have Five wilting Cabbage Leaves instead of a Brain?" to another that tried asking them out

Kidnapped S/o who just stands there after breaking out of captivity

Mirio

Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC

Accidentally bumping into Blind darling

S/o who likes cats but hes a dog person

S/o who has a god level quirk but is a dumbass

How his yandere tendencies are affected by losing his quirk

Darling flirting with other people

Bear quirk S/o

S/o missing school cause they got hurt while fighting a villain

S/o whos soft with Eri

Pregnant S/o who doesnt want to keep them

Rival s/o whos mad at him for taking their spot in the Big Three

Wooing a introvert darling

Villain Mirio

S/os boyfriend left her pregnant

Hawks

Equally clingy S/o

S/o with wings

Cottagecore S/o

S/o with a symbiote quirk

Cat Quirk reader

S/o having a depressive episode

Quirkless S/o whos afraid of heights

S/o who loves the petname ‘kitten’

Hawks Bird habits HC

Soft S/o getting pissed and yelling in Spanish

Bathing with him

Finding out his S/o is pregnant

Kidnapped S/o whos chill as long as they have games

S/o whos dependent and clingy feels like he they dont deserve him

Demon

Vampire

Celebrating Halloween

S/o dressing up as him for Halloween

Purge

Villain Hawks

Comforting S/o whose friend started ignoring them suddenly

Falling for a different heros S/o

Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/o (prt 2 on Aizawas section)

Almost forcing his Vegan S/o to eat meat

Wings HC

Raising a child

Vegan darling HC

Dealing with s/os teacher who doesnt treat them right

Raising a teenage child

Darling who has separation anxiety

Soft S/o whos tall and buff

Feral Headcannons

Shy, Awkward reader

Bat quirk S/o

Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons

Preening S/os wings

S/o who has self harm scars on their legs TW

S/os scared of birds

Hero s/o hates the hero commissions

S/o has a affectionate pet bird thats a little shit to keigo

Foreigner that hardly speaks japanese

Shy S/o thats scared of his wings

S/os cat loves hunting/playing with his wings

Yandere alphabet K,P,T

Yandere alphabet A,D,E,L 

Hunted down

Overhaul

S/o who has a body pillow of him

Trying to get him on a normal date

Angel

S/o whose power ultimately harms them

Darling ends up pregnant because of him

raising a child

S/o is as much of a clean freak as he is

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,I,K,W

Calling him a crow because of his looks

Escaping with Eri

S/o is a escape artist

Naga Overhaul

Kaminari

S/o scared theyll get zapped if they touch him

S/o who loves affection but is shy about PDA

Using him as a shield against socializing with others

Finding out S/o is Kirishimas sibling

S/o who isnt given gifts often

Werewolf

HC

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,J,W

S/o who loves him just as much

Would denki hurt anyone or punish his S/o

Sero

Darling confessing their love to him

Yandere Alphabet: A,K,S,R,T

Tokoyami

Finding out S/o goes out to feed cats with Aizawa and Shinsou

S/o going out of their way to spend time with them

Cuddling HC

Crush is Bakugos sister

Iida

Finding out S/o wonders out at night

Jealous HC

Koda

S/o who also has a animal quirk

Miruko

Chubby S/o

Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons

Nejire

Headcannons

Jirou

Headcannons

Mina Ashido

Headcannons

Inko Midoriya

Headcannons

Introducing deku to their new sibling w/ s/o

Average day with her

Haunted house

Rei Todoroki

Headcannons

Soft and quiet darling

Introducing her new child w/ s/o

Calm S/o yelling for the first time

Aoyama

Protective S/o

S/o likes his french

Deku

NS FW alphabet

Submissive 

Naga Izuku 

Praise Kink & Sugar Mommy S/o

Aizawa

NS FW HC

Werewolf Aizawa + Breeding 

Feral 

Incubus 

Neko s/o going into heat Ropework 

Favorite Position & Breeding kink 

Poly Erasermic

Poly Incubus EraserMic w/ S/o 

Todoroki

NS FW alphabet

Orgasm control, BDSM

Dabi

NON-CON + Incubus Dabi TW

End of the world + Breeding 

Poly Dabi/hawks

Poly Incubus Dabi/Hawks w/ S/o 

Shiguraki

Favorite Position 

Praise/Body Worship 

Tamaki

Sugar Daddy & One thing that would instantly turn them on

Hawks

Cockwarming and creampieing 

S/o likes it rough slightly 

Breeding/Heat HC 

Using his Feathers as a form of bondage 

Breeding season 

Extra Heat HC 

Male S/o First Time & Corruption

Overhaul

Virgin S/o 

Kaminari

Using his quirk during sex 

Inko Midoriya

Lingerie & Bodyworship 

Rei Todoroki

Foreplay Headcannons 

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt VI good omens s1e2, a totally all-inclusive summary i remember everything

i don't, that's a lie. i lie like aziraphale, rarely and badly but with great gaslight energy.

alright well let's not dawdle for 6000 years, i'll forget what i DO remember.

An angel named Gabriel who is not Jimbriel yet, so a foetus Jimbriel, gets into Aziraphale's bookstore and yells about pornography to keep humans from following him into Aziraphale's secret back chamber.

What they do there, I do not know. It is up to speculation. They talk and Aziraphale is flustered about Crowley, I think, but that's the whole show so far.

The intro sequence remains strange. Cartoon Aziraphale is an impregnated chicken, cartoon Crowley is the baby daddy.

There are witch hunters and they want to burn Agnes Nutter alive. I don't know who Anges Nutter is yet.

We cut to Agnes Nutter and I know I will never forget her. She is beautiful and a BAMF. A MILF. An absolute bombshell.

The bombshell part is literal. They set her on fire and she explodes, killing all those in a 100 metre radius. I want to be her.

I assume it is a witch thing, but then find out she put bombs under her skirts. I want to be her, but more ardently.

There is a book. She writes prophecies in it.

There are horsemen of the apocalypse, which I forgot was still happening. We are in present day.

War kills everyone. She is pretty. She is not Warlock, the kid whom Aziraphale and Crowley raised.

Famine is a sexy beast, and runs Michelin star restaurants. He likes tiny food. He is developing foodless food.

If there are others, I do not notice. There could be. There really could be. There probably are.

There is a girl who scribbles on the book from earlier. She grows up. I think she is War. I am wrong. This is probably a good time to mention to Tumblr that I have mild issues with facial recognition, which is totally not going to affect my understanding of what is happening at all.

She is named Anathema. That could be someone else. What is real? Not Neil Gaiman.

She finds the Antichrist and the Them, and they are all playing at a witch hunt. The Antichrist does not have an aura. Yellow is fear. Yellow is joy. I lose track of what is happening for several scenes.

Newt is works in an office. There is a power cut. Newt no longer works at an office.

Newt joins a witch hunt.

There is a delivery man. I think he is Newt. I am wrong. His name is something resembling Judy. It is an easy mistake, everyone's reaction to not-Newt-maybe-Judy is the same as that to Newt, deep protective love.

Crowley and Aziraphale steal a Bentley. Find a Bentley? I am unsure. I am too busy looking at Crowley.

Crowley speeds. Crowley likes speeding. They hit a motorbike that has maybe-Anathema. They pick her up and take her to a house somewhere. The Bentley plays Queen music. Everyone is very excited about this. Beepop.

Maybe-Anathema enters the house. This could have been before she finds the Antichrist. But if the show isn't linear I don't have to be either, I decide.

Crowley and Aziraphale panic a lot, but find time to eye each other hungrily and lovingly. They have priorities, and I respect that.

Crowley yells at his plants to grow better. He pretends to kill one of them. I cannot believe I was entirely right about my interpretation of that GIF. I am filled with confused anger. Later I find out that he is projecting how heaven told him he was a disappointment and threw him out. I am no longer angry. I am sad. This is an ongoing thing when it comes to Crowley.

A major plot point is Dog, the best friend of the Antichrist, having a face off with a fat tabby cat. Dog loses. It was doomed from the start.

Aziraphale gaslights gatekeeps and girlbosses. He assures heaven that everything is under control. It is not. That is okay. I think.

Heaven asks about Crowley. Aziraphale gets flustered. This is as per usual and he assures them that he is battling Crowley, who keeps him on his toes. I not-so-privately think that Crowley keeps him on his knees, really.

Things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Aziraphale's puppy eyes. He is a bitchy sweetheart. I love him.

More things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Crowley's sexy hips and shoulders and, well, everything.

The episode ends. I am still thinking about Crowley. I am always thinking about Crowley. Everyone is always thinking about Crowley.

This... this is all I remember. Have it, Tumblr.

[thickness-protection-program]

Pls summarize Naruto from start to finish

Ok strap in. A magical alien milf lands on earth and falls in love with an ugly human man and they fuck. Humans ain't shit and they tried to kill her for being a girlboss but after planting a giant tree and eating the magical fruit she easily killed a bunch of them including her ain't shit ass man too. Turns out she was preggers during the onslaught and gave birth to twin boys. Fast forward many years and they find out that she's a murderer bc she just kinda left the dead bodies in the backyard. They're like oh shit we gotta kill her now and she's like oh word? I gotta kill my son's now. They battle, she becomes a Kaiju, but the sons win. One of them becomes God on earth and the other becomes a security guard on the moon watching over milf mom. The moon was created as a prison. God then has two sons, one who's just an average Joe and the other is an edge lord. God is like only one of you will get my powers and so Joe and edge lord play rock paper scissors and Joe wins. Edge lord isn't happy about it so he makes anger his only personality trait for all eternity. Those two die but their spirits are constantly reincarnated into bisexual men's bodies who are constantly at war with each other when they just wanna fuck each other. It all leads into being reincarnated into Naruto (who's an industry plant and nepotism baby) and Sasuke (an alpha male podcaster that serves cunt) who fight to the death, fight to the death, and kiss a lil bit. Milf mom comes back to life bc the babadook makes a cameo appearance but Naruto and Sasuke play the uno reverse card and send her ass back to the pit. They fight a lil more and kiss a lil more but unfortunately they both lose an arm in the process but that doesn't stop them bc love wins! They saved the earth (oh yeah war #4 is going on this afternoon) and they end the cycle of hatred that plagued all their reincarnates so now they officially have minds of their own. It took 16 years for them to develop agency. The end.

[washeduphazbin]

Omg, okay— my brain is spiralling. Adam, a washed up punk who plays in a small shitty local band, meets a successful elegant reader. She’s out of his league, that much is obvious.

Adam, desperate for cash to pay for his crappy studio apartment, finds a babysitting ad. The lister is a single mom who needs someone to look after her kid after school. The kid’s six, needs to be picked up after school at 3:45, and mom normally gets home at 10:00. Fuck, seems simple enough.

He calls the number, and sets up a meeting, and damn, he decides he NEEDS this job because this woman is a MILF. (Mom bod included. Adam’s a sucker for curves.)

Adam, by some miracle lands the job, but he’s shit at it. He’s never really liked crotch goblins, they’re sticky and annoying. He just has to make sure the kid doesn’t die, he doesn’t need to treat this rich kid like royalty. He’s picking the kid up in his shitty van, Dewy Finn style, the kid doesn’t need a limo.

“Can you read me a bedtime story?”

“Go read it yourself.” Says Adam, taking advantage of the big screen in the home theatre, his voice muffled with food.

“If you don’t read me a story, I’m telling my mom. Mom says if you’re mean to me I should tell her.” The kid is actually threatening him, and she looks confident that she can get him fired. She probably can.

Adam stares the kid down. He wants to win this battle, but if he’s gonna fuck that MILF, he’s gotta make sacrifices. “Fucking— Jesus, what do you wanna read?”

The kid looks satisfied, a smug smile on her face “Through the looking glass.” A fucking chapter book?! God, rich kids are annoying.

Adam slowly rises to his feet, grunting, unhappy that he has to give up his comfort. “One chapter, brat. Then lights out.”

Suffice to say, he may slowly begin to care for the kid and the weeks roll on. Not that he’d admit that.

(Job ideas include a fashion designer, or CEO of an ambiguous company that I have no ideas for. I’m up for other ideas for jobs.)

Let me write this full blown fan fiction with you PLEASE

I would write and read the shit out of this, because milf reader would laugh at Adam’s stupid jokes, and absolutely fight the dead beat bio dad to the kid.

And at first he only wants a lay and then he’s falling in love with her and tripping over his words and suddenly finds himself in love with reader and her daughter. SCREAMING