#Because it *is* out of place for Dazai to throw away his coat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unloved-cadillac · 1 year

Note

Hello I’ll be requesting .

Bsd dazai seeing y/n after he left the port mafia with a toddler and man who’s the body guard only

C/n: so we got straight to the feels today. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🖤

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After All These Years. (Dazai x Reader)

It was very uncommon for love to blossom in the Mafia. A place where death and a question morals came into play wasn’t a place where you would fall in love.

But you did.

With the man who loved death. Dazai Osamu and you were a pair of weirdos who complimented each other’s personality. Both too much in love to worry about anything else. You two fell so fast and too hard for each other. The thrill of chases made you both ecstatic and to the point where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

Now, you sat in your bathroom holding the pee stick in your hand with the other covering your mouth. How did this happen? You both were wild but you were protected all the time. It was a mistake but when you thought about it, you couldn’t let this little spark disappear.

So you would.

The last mission you carried out with Dazai was one you made terrible. You complained about everything, became a bitch and ignored Dazai. Which was one of the hardest things to do especially when he handled you so gently.

“My love, I know you’re angry. I’m not too sure what about but if I can help you please tell me. I’m going to buy your favorite food and we can go home and talk about it. But please can we focus on doing this kill? I promise I will do whatever it is you ask just for now, listen to me.”

You breathed out, calming yourself and telling yourself not to cry, nod and follow orders and carry out the mission. When it was done, you went with Dazai back to headquarters. As Dazai was about to talk to you, a subordinate approaches the both of you. “Sir, Mr Mori has requested to see you.” He says and Dazai clicks his tongue. “I’ll be back, okay?” He touches your cheek and leaves with the subordinate. Once he was out of sight you bolted out of there.

Taking off your coat and throwing away your personal belongings, you ran back home and packed. You thought about writing a note, explaining why you’re leaving but that would just make him want to find you. You didn’t want him to. You had to leave behind this life in order to bring a new one. Even if it meant leaving him.

“Where is she?” Dazai asks your subordinates. They held their head down as they spoke because looking into the youngest Mafia Executive’s eyes who spark a murdering spree. “Sir, we honestly don’t know. The last time we saw her was this morning. When she went to the mission. We didn’t even see her come back.”

Dazai grinds his teeth and balls his hands into fists. Leaving without saying another word, he makes his way to your house. He was met with a somber emptiness. “Where the fuck are you?” He whispers but when he looks around your house to see nothing there, his heart breaks.

He searched everywhere, used his contacts to find you plus threatened everyone to get you. But you were part of the Mafia. You could hide in plain sight and no one would find you.

But how could you just let this go? Did he do something? Maybe you’ll come back. Maybe the thing that was bothering you so much while subside and you’ll come back. You have to. He needs you.

Time went by. Days turned into weeks turned into months turned into years. Dazai lost himself. When you left, Oda died and to keep his sanity, Dazai left the Mafia. 5 years had passed since the two most important people left him and his life has never been the same. Sure, he got another job. He started helping people, paying his karmic debt to become better. He blamed himself for everything and it wasn’t easy forgetting the person who he gave his heart to.

“We should head back to HQ and start on those files.” Atsushi says and Dazai scoffs. “Ha! You and Kunikida can do that I’m gonna go and take a nap. Beauty sleep is very much needed.” “Dazai, these papers-“

“Worry not Atsushi! I believe in you. You know before you could come I-“ Dazai stops midway and stares ahead of him. “Yeah?” Atsushi says, trying to ge thin to continue. But Dazai stared and his color faded from his face. It looked like he saw a ghost. And that’s what he thinks as well. Atsushi looks at what Dazai was staring at.

A woman with a child. She was fixing his shirt and the kid was bouncing, filled with energy. “Mama, I want some ice cream! It’s so hot.” The boy says and the woman laughs. “I know, I could also use some. Let’s wait for Haku to come first alright?” The boy nods. A huge man walks towards them and the kid hugs his leg. The man places a hand on the woman’s head and smiles. He takes the boy in his arms and walks away with the woman.

“Do you know them, Dazai?” Atsushi asks and Dazai breathes out. “Yes. Atsushi, I need you to find out all you can about her.” Atsushi nods. “Okay. But what’s her name?”

“Y/n L/n.”

~~~~

“Thank you for supper, Mama.” Toyo says and you smile. “You’re welcome babe. Now, go brush your teeth and I’ll meet you upstairs.” Toyo nods and heads to the bathroom. As you begin to wash the dishes your phone buzzes. A message from your bodyguard.

‘A clear day. Goodnight Ms L/n.’

You smile and give him a thumbs up and a goodnight back. Ever since your Port Mafia days you became skeptical about people hunting you down. Hiring from one of the best bodyguard companies was your best option. You kept your protection in your home, away from Toyo’s eyes and had a small knife on you at all times. You can never be too careful when it came to those people.

As you think about the day, a knock is sounded on your door. You quickly grab a kitchen knife and head to the door. You look through the peephole to see no one there. You slowly open your door and look around to find no one there but on the floor laid a box of chocolates and a note. Not just any chocolates either. It was your favorite and most expensive chocolate that was sold deep in the city. Only one person knew this. You took the parcel in and shut your door.

Sitting in the lounge, you stare at the parcel and note. ‘It can’t be him. Could it?’ You carefully open the box and taste a chocolate. A wave of nostalgia hits to the point of tears.

“Oh my god, babe! Thank you!” You say as you kiss Dazai’s cheek and you look at the chocolates. “I remember you telling me how much you loved these so I pulled a few strings and got it. Anything for you, my love.”

You sniff and chew the chocolates. After indulging in them, you open the note.

Hi Y/n.

It’s me. Dazai. I saw you today and my heart stopped. Where have you been? I’ve missed you. I finally felt alive after seeing you. Will I be too much in asking to see you? If yes, I understand. If no, meet me at Shira Cafe at 10:00am tomorrow. I’ll keep this short, in case I see you.

With love

Dazai.

You smile as your tears flowed down to your chin and you covered your mouth to stay quiet. You want to see him. You needed to see him but how could you face him after what you did? You’ll explain everything. Why you left, the outcome and hope and pray that he’ll understand.

“Mama?” Toyo calls to you. Quickly wiping your tears you look at your boy. “Hi baby. Sorry, I’m coming now.”

“Is that chocolate?” He asks and you chuckle. “Yeah. You can have some tomorrow. Come on.” You take him upstairs and tuck him into bed. You brush his brown locks and kiss his nose. Tomorrow will be a very different day.

~~~~

You prepared your whole speech in the bathroom, the kitchen, the car. Your bodyguard, Shoyo, knew about your past and Dazai. “Don’t worry, Ms L/n. Everything will be okay.” He reassures you and you give him a smile. “Thank you, Shoyo. Where will you be?”

“Around. Toyo will want to see things and I’ll be right with him while being close to you. Don’t worry.” You nod and go back to thinking. 5 years. Too long.

You jumped out the car and kissed Toyo goodbye. “I’ll be right back, okay big guy?” You say and he nods. You walk into the cafe and look around. He wasn’t here yet so you sat down by the window and waited. You ordered a water but you were way to nervous to drink it. Few minutes went by and the bell rang signifying someone entering. You look up and there he was.

“Dazai.”

You say and he stares at you. You got up and no words were exchanged. You gulped and started to scratch your palms. You never liked confrontation, especially with him.

“Dazai, please don’t be mad. I couldn’t just-“ you were caught in the middle when you felt his arms around you. His smell. He still had that smell. He was taller now too. “I’ve missed you so much, Y/n.” Dazai whispers and you gasp softly. You wrap your arms around him and hold onto him. “I missed you too, Zai.”

You both sat down and you began to explain. Dazai never let go of your hands. “His name is Toyo. And he looks just like you. I see you in him every day.” Dazai softly squeezes your hands and smiles but it disappears when he thinks of a question. “That man you were with… are you involved with him?”

You shake your head vigorously. “Oh god no. No. He is my bodyguard. I hired him when Toyo turned one. I’m strong but not that strong. I had to have an extra pair of eyes to watch my surroundings.” Dazai nods. “Why didn’t you tell me, Y/n? We would’ve made a plan.”

“Zai, I…I don’t know. I was scared. He was your child too but I was so scared what the Mafia would make me do. I’d rather risk running away than deal with them. I’m so sorry, Zai.” You look down as you cried. Dazai was quick to wipe your tears. “It’s okay. It’s okay, my love. I can only imagine how terrified you must’ve been. I left the Mafia shortly after you and changed my entire life. I always hoped you didn’t die on me like Oda.” You gasp and Dazai nods. “It was..a dark time. I’ll tell you everything but for now, may I…meet him?” You look up, staring into his beautiful eyes and nod. “Of course.”

You take Dazai to Shoyo and introduced him. “Toyo is there. Let me bring him.” He says and goes. You look at Dazai who was already looking at you. “What?” You ask. “Nothing. Just..thinking.” “About?” “You.” You blush and look down.

“Mama!” Your son shouts and runs to you. You take him into your arms. “Hi.” You greet him. “Hi Mama. Who’s that?” He points to Dazai and you look at him. “Toyo, this is Dazai. Your dad.”

It was like looking into a miniature mirror. Toyo had Dazai’s hair, eyes and ears. But he had your nose. Toyo cuddles into you as he stares at the tall man. “Hello, Toyo.” Dazai greets and Toyo waves at him.

This was the start of something new. Ever since that day, Dazai swore to himself that he’ll keep you and his son safe. Never will he let you feel like you can’t come to him for anything ever again.

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“Dazai. Dazai. Dazai.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#dazai oneshot #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd anime #bsd dazai #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #bsd fanfic #bsd fandom #bungou stray dogs fanfic #dazai fanfic

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fyodcrs · 6 months

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Leaves of Impermanence

Fyodor/Dazai (explicit) Dazai leaned against the rail, gazing dreamily down at the water below them. “Shall we jump?” he asked, his tone still cheerful. “It’s a beautiful night for it.” “Isn’t it?” Fyodor smiled, not looking at him. “And what if I only wanted you to jump, Dazai?” “Then just say the word, and I’ll jump.” - Dazai and Fyodor take a little stroll.

[Read on AO3 here]

A chill wind stirred the leaves beneath their feet into a papery whisper. The colors of autumn blazed in the sunset light, the trees alive in vivid shades of fire to herald the change of seasons, the sky painted in vibrant pastel hues to herald the fall of night. A time of impermanence, of the in-between, when nothing was quite certain. Alone on the bridge, they were like lonely spirits crossing from this world into the next.

“Didn’t I tell you this was a perfect time for a stroll?” Dazai said cheerfully, slipping an arm around Fyodor’s slender waist.

“No, actually, you didn’t,” Fyodor replied, with a touch of fond exasperation. “You just dragged me out here, right in the middle of our chess game. Because you were about to lose, no doubt.”

“I was definitely not about to lose.” He definitely had been, but that was quite irrelevant to his admittedly sudden decision to go out for a walk.

Fyodor paused, drawing Dazai to a halt beside him. He turned to look out across the river, his expression serene but thoughtful. Tonight was going to be a cold one, and he was all bundled up in a winter coat and the new scarf Sigma had bought him. His arms were crossed over his chest, braced against the wind. Catching even a slight chill could make him sick.

Dazai leaned against the rail, gazing dreamily down at the water below them. “Shall we jump?” he asked, his tone still cheerful. “It’s a beautiful night for it.”

“Isn’t it?” Fyodor smiled, not looking at him. “And what if I only wanted you to jump, Dazai?”

“Then just say the word, and I’ll jump.”

Fyodor laughed. As if in response, the wind picked up, and leaves rattled across the bridge as if laughing with him.

“You don’t believe me?” Dazai demanded. Once not so long ago, one might have looked into this young man’s eyes and thought of endless dark pits into which no light could reach. Now those same eyes danced with their own wild light. “One word from you, and I’ll throw myself down headfirst.”

“If only I could believe it’d be that easy to rid myself of you,” Fyodor scoffed, half-teasing. “You weren’t willing to drown for me once, when it would have benefited me. Why should I ask you to drown for me now when I have nothing to gain from it? And why should I believe that this time it would be true?”

“We’re playing a different game now,” Dazai said, lowering his voice just slightly as the wind raised its own. “A different game, with different stakes. If it would win me your love, I would give my life at once, and gladly.”

Fyodor shook his head. Something like sadness crossed his visage. “Knowing how little value you place on your own life, that only tells me you place as little value on my love.”

He turned, but stopped and looked back, his hair blowing into his face. He smiled, and if Dazai’s eyes blazed with the dying rays of the sun and the raging colors of autumn, Fyodor’s violet eyes were as cold and dark as the encroaching night and the coming winter. “But one day I will speak that word, Dazai, if only to see how far you will go.”

He walked away. Dazai followed him down to the walkway above the riverbank, into the shadow of a cluster of trees. When Fyodor turned back to him, Dazai kissed him deeply and lingeringly, pushing him backward until he had the other man pressed against the trunk of a tree. Fyodor’s lips were cold, and so were his hands, but soon they were warm, and a light flush crept into his pale cheeks. Dazai untied his scarf to expose the white, smooth skin of his neck, and Fyodor sighed and tilted his head back when Dazai pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat.

“You have no idea,” Dazai whispered in his ear, “how far I will go.”

Fyodor laughed again, low and a little breathless, and the sound dissolved into a gasp when Dazai worked open the button and zipper of his pants and slipped a hand inside.

“How detestable you are, Dazai,” he murmured. “All your grand and empty words—ah.” He moaned as Dazai began to stroke him, slowly, firmly, his cock hardening under Dazai’s touch, and for all that the temperature around them was steadily dropping, the contact of their skin was red hot.

“Whose are the grand and empty words?” Dazai challenged, panting as delicate, clever fingers freed his own aching cock and wrapped around him. “Just yesterday you told me my death would be the greatest gift I could give you. Now you say you’d have nothing to gain from it.”

“And yesterday you said we could both learn to live. Now you practically beg me to demand of you to throw yourself into the river.”

Fyodor twisted his wrist, rubbing his thumb over the slit of Dazai’s cock, and Dazai shuddered, hips jerking into the touch. He nipped at the flesh between Fyodor’s neck and collarbone just to get the same reaction from him.

“We’re both liars, Dazai.”

Dazai traced with his mouth a well-known path up to capture him in a kiss that grew headier and sloppier as they both quickened their pace, moving in effortless rhythm with one another.

“Yes,” Dazai murmured, in between heavy breaths, “we’re both liars. But not in this.”

Fyodor came quietly as he always did, and Dazai greedily swallowed down the soft sounds he made, until Dazai buried his face into Fyodor’s shoulder as he spilled into Fyodor’s hand with a curse.

Fyodor sagged against the tree, and Dazai went with him, wrapping an arm around his middle to keep him close. He raised his dirtied hand and pressed his fingers to Fyodor’s lips. Fyodor opened for them, half-lidded violet eyes locked on Dazai’s as he sucked them clean. And, before Dazai could formulate the thought to reciprocate, he raised his own hand to his mouth and did the same. Dazai watched him, enraptured, desire a sweet burn beneath his skin that never seemed to go away.

“Do you know,” he said, “I already love you more than is possible, and somehow, I love you even more every day. Do you understand what a torment that is? But it was you who said that there is no suffering without salvation. I know now I only want to die with you.”

Above them, the red-orange canopy of the trees shivered, and several leaves were torn from their branches. Fyodor turned his gaze upwards and caught one as it spiraled elegantly down toward them. It fluttered in his hands, as if trying to escape his clutches.

“Lives are like autumn leaves,” he said, studying the leaf he had captured. Dazai’s eyes never left his face. “Fleeting, fading—and soon lost.” He opened his hands, and the wind swept the leaf away into the spreading gloom, in the direction of the river. Dazai could imagine it landing on the surface of the water, forming gentle ripples. “But there is beauty in them—even in their final moments, they burn with color, bright and blazing. Wasn’t it you who told me my world could be a little more beautiful?”

“Is it now?” Dazai asked softly.

Fyodor looked back at him. His hands cradled Dazai’s face as lightly as they had held the wayward leaf. “Is yours, Dazai?”

Dazai closed his eyes and leaned in to press his forehead against Fyodor’s. He did not answer.

Fyodor would give the word, eventually, and they both knew it. It was only a matter of time. And when it happened, they both would stand firm. Dazai was content to wait.

For now, they simply stood there, sharing breath and space, as around them slowly descended the autumn dusk.

#fyozai #Bungou Stray Dogs #Fyodor Dostoevsky #Dazai Osamu #*fics #otp: cat and mouse #inspired by a scene in Dostoevsky's The Gambler and the new autumn Mayoi cards :3

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chibi-devil10 · 3 years

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Soukoku headcanons because I can

- Dazai’s favorite place to be is either between Chuuya’s amazing thighs or with his head on Chuuya’s chest while he plays with his hair

- When they first got together they would take baths together and Chuuya would wash Dazai’s hair for him since he didn’t really know how. Similarly, Chuuya taught him how to properly cook and clean without judgement

- Strictly no PDA, especially at work

- Dazai loves shoving his face into Chuuya’s navel and leaving kisses there because the skin there is SO SOFT

- A morning between them is never complete if Chuuya doesn’t throw a cup of coffee at Dazai’s head

- Chuuya is the only person who Dazai will take his bandages off around and Chuuya doesn’t ever take that for granted

- Despite Dazai making fun of his hat collection, Dazai always buys Chuuya new hats for his birthday

- When Chuuya is cooking or cleaning he often gets fed up with his hair and will put it in a ponytail. Dazai simps HARD and Chuuya knows it

- Dazai pulls Chuuya up into a kiss by his choker and they’ll murmur threats into each others lips when they break for air

- The only time Dazai gets involved in battles is when Chuuya is badly hurt and suffering. Reputation be damned, he’s going to fucking run into that fight and get Chuuya out no matter what

- When Dazai goes on missions, Chuuya will hop rooftops with a few bullets in his pocket and shoot anyone who tries anything. Dazai knows about it, but never says anything for fear of scaring his “Guardian Angel” away

- Tipsy nights with wine and lazy making out are literally heaven to them

- Dazai doesn’t care, he’s the little spoon because he feels legitimately safe for the first and only time when he’s in Chuuya’s arms

- They often sit on the couch with their backs against each other and their heads resting on one another’s shoulders

- Dazai nuzzles into Chuuya’s palm and presses kisses there when Chuuya puts his hand on Dazai’s cheek

- No matter what, Dazai will pull Chuuya into his lap. He just loves having the presence of Chuuya’s body to remind him that he’s there and that he loves him and that he now has a reason to live

- Dazai likes drying Chuuya’s hair

- When he can, Chuuya will move Dazai’s bangs aside and peck him on the forehead. It’s the one thing that will make Dazai blush. Everytime.

- Despite a lot of people thinking that Dazai’s favorite part of Chuuya is his ass(which is his 3rd favorite) his favorite is actually Chuuya’s eyes

- When Dazai looks at Chuuya he sees something that he wants to protect for the first time and that’s SO precious to him. CHUUYA is precious to him. And since he’s never had something or someone like Chuuya that’s so important in his life before, he’ll do ANYTHING to protect him

- When Chuuya uses Corruption Dazai definitely doesn’t touch him a second or two before he used to

- When Dazai is super tired from having to fake his energy all the time (bc that does happen) Chuuya will wrap his bandages for him, make him some hot chocolate and canned crab and cuddle with him without a word

- Dazai thinks the cardigans that Chuuya wears around the house in winter are darling and always coos at him

- They fight a lot, but it’s never anything serious and they always have the comfort of knowing they love each other more than anything

- When Dazai wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare or for no reason at all, he’ll entwine his fingers with Chuuya’s and press his lips against the back of his hand

- Once Dazai found out that Chuuya is ticklish, it was OVER for Chuuya because Dazai adores Chuuya laugh, especially when he snorts

- Chuuya’s most precious memories are when he’s able to make Dazai genuinely smile and FEEL something. He holds Dazai’s pure emotions very dear to his heart and he’ll never forgive Mori for what he’s done to Dazai

- When Chuuya is a stubborn brat and refuses to take an extra warm coat when it’s literally 10 degrees out, Dazai brings an extra with him

- When Dazai sees Chuuya smoking he immediately knows he’s had a bad day so he’ll walk over, throw the cigarette away and replace it with his mouth

- Dazai will often move Chuuya’s long lock of hair to the side and pepper kisses on the back of his neck

#soukoku headcanons #soukoku #dazai x chuuya

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 300+ again Minnie!! For the event may I request Dazai with 9 please🥰💕

Also submitted by Kat @pompompurin1028: forgot to specify it was fluff prompt 9 my bad😅

Thanks Kat!♡♡♡ Jsksksk I had so much fun writing this..

Osamu Dazai + "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

Word count: 1550|| Warnings: fluff.. toothrotting fluff♡

You were never the one to get mad at your brunet man-child, for you loved him dearly and cared a bit too much for him. So, when you berated him for jumping into the bloody river, you expected him to apologise. Instead, he argued back saying, “But it looked so beautiful, with the setting sun casting an ethereal glow onto it! It was practically begging me to jump in!”

You were to your wits end. You were aware that your boyfriend wasn’t suicidal anymore, thanks to his loving words all those nights ago. You remember it like it was yesterday. You both had participated in a passionate activity of making love and had ended up wrapped in each other’s arms as the soft rays of the moon shone down on your tired bodies. Dazai had propped himself up on his elbows to look at you; he had kissed you gently.

“I had no purpose in life, Y/N. But now that I have you, I don’t think I want to die anymore. You make me want to live, dear.”

That was the happiest time of your life. You wouldn’t trade that moment for anything in this world. Those three sentences meant so much to you. You’ll guard them in the deepest parts of your heart, forever.

This also means that whenever Dazai decides to plop himself in the river, it is for comical purposes.

“It adds to my aesthetic!”, he had said.

Well, damn him and his stupid aesthetics. He could actually drown if he kept up this stupidity! You were so bloody mad at him. He had rubbished off your concern by saying that nothing in this world can kill a previously suicidal man, but himself. How much you wanted to believe in his nonsense, only you knew. So, you decided to ignore him. You hoped that giving him the cold shoulder would make him fall to his knees, and perhaps, hopefully, make him promise to never risk his life ever again.

The multiple text messages on your phone were proof that your plan was, in fact, working!

Your phoned buzzed again, alerting you of another message. You usually had your read-receipts off, but you had turned them on specially for him; to show him that you’re leaving him on read.

Idiot [5:04 pm]

Belladonna, please reply!

Idiot [5:05 pm]

Please! I know what you’re doing! You’re ignoring me and it hurts!

Idiot [5:06]

I can’t believe you turned your read-receipts on just to spite me :(

Idiot [5:07] missed call.

Idiot [5:08]

At least tell me when you’re coming home? Doesn’t your shift end at 5? Are you on the way?

You were, in fact, done for the day. You were just about to pack up and head home. Grinning, you eagerly put your laptop in the bag, arranging your documents and preparing to leave. Ignoring him hurt, but it also felt good to have his undivided attention. You were planning to go home and give him a tight hug, then proceed to force a promise out of him.

You rushed out, making your way home as quickly as possible. Upon reaching the door, you were surprised to find it slightly ajar. There was a sticky note on the door. Pulling it off, you read it.

‘In the washroom. Do not disturb.’

You furrowed your brows at this. He knew you had a key, so why did he go through the trouble of opening the door for you and writing a note? Unless the point was to keep you from interrupting him? Was he giving you the cold shoulder?

Pushing it open, you walk home to find a bowl of macaroni on the table. You smiled at the sweet gesture, only to drop it at the sight that unfolded.

There, lying next to the bowl, laid an empty bowl, that had clearly been used. He had gone ahead and had dinner without you.

You dropped your coat and bag on the centre table, not bothering to place them in their dedicated places. Rushing over to the bathroom, you halted. You could hear the shower running. He never took a shower so early. He always fussed about showering just before bed, as it makes him feel sleepy.

Knocking, you waited for a reply.

“Dazai? I’m home!”

You heard no reply, so you tried opening the door, worried, only to find it locked.

“Did you read the note?”, came his voice from inside.

“Yeah! What about it?”

“Adhere to it.”

You were left baffled. Was he mad at you? For what exactly? Was he mad because you cared, or because he didn’t want to apologise?

Huffing, you crossed your arms and continued freshening up. If he wanted to get mad at you for caring for him, then he could remain mad.

You finally changed and seated yourself on the sofa, turning the TV on, and trying to find a good movie to watch. Your stomach growled loudly, but you ignored it, not wanting to eat what he had made for you. You were mad at him for being mad at you, and you wanted to maintain your anger.

When he finally stepped out of the shower, he walked to the living room and stood staring at you. His gaze pierced into you, but you tried not to look at him. He kept boring holes into you. Finally giving up, you looked at him.

“What?”

He gave you a look and looked away.

You scoffed.

“Honestly, Osamu, what do you want?”

He crossed his arms. Remaining silent.

Throwing your arms in the air, you resumed your movie.

He came and sat next to you, leaving too much space between your bodies. It irked you. You decided to ignore him, and continued watching the movie in silence. After about fifteen minutes, he came to stand in front of you, blocking the screen.

You paused the movie, again, and kept your chin your palm, giving him a bored look.

“What is it? Don’t you want to go to sleep, or something?”

“I’m hungry.”

‘Finally!’, you thought, ‘He’s finally saying something!’.

“I thought you ate already?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

He looked like a such a child at the moment. His hair was messy and parts of it were slightly damp. His expression was super adorable. He looked mad, but you could tell that he was upset. It was the look of a child when he knows he’s wrong but doesn’t want to accept the punishment. It did little to calm you down, though. You were mad at him for eating dinner without you, ignoring you and being mean.

“God, Dazai, what is your point here? Or is your aim to simply annoy me? Because believe me, it’s working.”

He huffed and mumbled something.

“What was that?”

He sighed.

“I said, I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

He tried to avoid your gaze, but you could easily spot the blush creeping up on his cheeks. He was embarrassed. It was too adorable a sight to ignore.

Chuckling, you opened your arms for him climb into your embrace. He hid his face in the crook of your neck. You hugged him tight, kissed his tousled locks and inhaled his scent. You had missed this so much.

“I’m still mad at you, you know.”

“I know.”

“Do you not even want to know why?”

He stayed hidden in your hair, but mumbled out a reply, nonetheless.

“You’re mad because I don’t care for myself and because you can’t appreciate the beauty of my aesthetic.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Just promise to take care of yourself, please. I really love you; I don’t know what I’d do without you...”

He hugged you tighter, touched by your genuine words.

“I promise.”

Smiling, you thread your fingers through his hair. He was sitting on knees while you were seated on the sofa. It must have been uncomfortable for him.

“Come up.”

You shifted, making space for both of you.

He climbed up and laid his head on your lap, looking up at you.

“Did you eat yet?”, he asked.

You frowned, looking away. You knew he had eaten without you because he was mad at you, but it still hurt.

“What does it matter? I’m not hungry, anyway.”

He smiled.

“Well, I am hungry. Care to join me for dinner?”

You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“Didn’t you eat already?”

The shit eating grin on his face gave you your answer.

You gasped.

“You little shit! You dirtied the bowl to make it look like you ate, didn’t you?!”

He laughed and rolled off you to dodge your punches.

“I can’t believe it worked! Did you actually think I’d eat without you?”, he asked incredulously.

“Well, you’re one petty piece of shit, why wouldn’t I expect the worst of you?”

He placed a hand on his heart, gasping theatrically.

“Your words wound my poor heart, Bella!”

Chuckling, you fetch another bowl for yourself.

“You can have that filled bowl. I’m not having cold pasta.”

“I can just heat it in the microwave, you know?”

“Idiot.”

“But you love me!”, he said, clinging onto your arm.

Sighing, you kiss his cheek.

“Unfortunately, I do.”

Idek if this is what u wanted, but do lemme know what u think!♡

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voidcat · 3 years

Text

—pink of the snow

Characters: Dazai Osamu/gn!reader

Genre & wc: fluf/comfort – 1.1k

a/n; Happy Valentine’s Day (again!!) this can be read separately but if anyone’s wondering this has a part 1 leading to this. The song mentioned is obviously Nobody by Mitski. Yes I’m ok I swear (I almost named this “Pink in The Night” I am rotting...) — part one

One afternoon, a knocking on your door though you’re not expecting anyone for the day.

Upon opening the door, the chill of the day barges in with a sudden little breeze but neither of these things are the source of the chill going up your spine.

And there stands Dazai Osamu, with a bottle of wine you can’t see the name of; yet from the looks of it, it’s one you’re positive he didn’t pay for.

“What better way to get warm on a chilly winter day than a glass of wine?” he says with a smile, ‘shared with someone’ hanging from his lips to finish his line.

With nothing else to do on your part and his determined posture on the other side, you sigh and stand aside. “Take off that stinky coat as you get inside.”

You can hear him complain behind you, mumbling about ‘what smell’ and ‘what’s it with people always telling him he smells?’, you decide to leave it at that, already entering the living room to sit by the window.

He comes several seconds later, sitting across you, the coat nowhere to be seen and the bottle still in his hand.

The name Petrus catches your eye, with an eyebrow rising, “I can put it in the drive and you can reveal to me how you found this address.”

“It was pure luck.” He hands out the bottle and you know he’s yelling the truth.

Dazai Osamu has many ways of obtaining intel but none of them for the home address of someone he already knows, and his looks alone tell you he found out out of the blue.

“Atsushi and I were investigating a rumor and he saw you by the door. I suppose you had earphones in because he calle do it your name but you just swayed in through the door.”

“And you decided showing up uninvited with a bottle of stolen quality wine?” You state more than ask.

“You could say that.” He replies with a shrug and one of those small smiles you like, “although it’s more borrowed than stolen.”

“I’ll make sure to tell the owner this was all your idea.”

And surprisingly, the rest, flies away like the day with Yosano, if not faster.

The light gentler than usual, the air calm, the wine tastes great and soon your fears of Chuuya –you have been informed that was his name— beaming through your ceiling gone with each sip you take.

So, what do you do when you’re alone with all the time in the world to yourself?, Dazai asks and you unlock your phone, hitting the shuffle button. A song starts building up, the lyrics contrasting the melody as usual, your cat glaring at him from your room and you find yourself laughing, clutching at your stomach whenever you meet his eyes.

He, Dazai, seems confused at first, until he follows your gaze, “You weren’t joking about the cat” his voice falters and ends up worsening your fit of laughter, face hurting, mouth desperately begging for a break.

Yet there’s something about their expressions that keeps you shedding tears of joy, you cannot recall the last time you cried if that, and you keep drinking and laughing and taking and watching him, as the light grows gentler, as it turns Golden and dances on his skin.

You think, maybe sunsets were made for him.

Any other winter day feels blank and stale, like food without spice or love in the process; bland and lacks taste, lacks a touch of personality, a sense of familiarity.

Yet here is today, as the day ends, it gains color, brought back to life in the dead of winter, the hue turned into something sweeter as Mitski comes on with honey in her voice and poison in her lyrics —though they don’t hurt for the first time in a while.

Pretending they’re about a regular life, or love, or something soft and known and lived is easier now in this very moment you find yourself in.

So you get up, your body commands, as another song begins, the glass still in your hand and you can hear Dazai complaining about a lyric.

“You heard her loud and clear; did its people want too much?” You say, taking a few steps away as you feel yourself floating away.

Taking a sip whenever you’re not singing, swaying or spinning, you can feel his eyes on your form moving.

It’s impressive how quick you’ve gone from converting to… whatever state the two of you are tangled in but it feels nice, you decide, and the sounds are welcome. You think, ‘What better way to dance your heart out to a song about loneliness than this very moment you’re wrapped in?’

The second verse begins and you go back and forth, back and forth and back and forth again. Throwing your head behind and drink what remains in your glass, you twirl your arms in the air and turn once.

Place the glass on the table and pull him by the wrist.

Back and forth and back and forth again, repeat and spin and soon he joins in following your cue, moving along to the sound and the melody and the air surrounding. Holding your hand above your head and making room for another spin for you, catching by the end and it feels natural somehow. Like you’ve danced many dances before, not only to this song but to countless more.

Face to face again and it’s slowed down, with limited movements, small and calculated, more swaying and the best rises, so does your energy, in sync and the sky pink.

Winter evenings, you recall, are the best when they’re painted in pastel shades of lavender and pink, soft and oozing, comforting and carrying a piece of spring. Snow begins again a little shy, as the song reaches an end and begins to fade away.

Your hand in Dazai’s, you’re not sure when that happened, and he leans in for a kiss, as a lonely snow flake rests against your window sill, beginning to melt as soon as it touched the surface that seems to carry the warmth of his lips.

“What was that for?” You ask, you think, you’re not quite certain if you’re spoken out loud or if you asked with your body.

“One good honest kiss.”

Dazai says as if it’s something so simple, in the open and easy to acquire, just like that, like a snapping of fingers.

The rest of the song echoes in your head after his words as the two of you lean into one another.

You suppose it is something so simple, in a pink night like tonight.

Tags: @atsumusdomain @celosiiaa @ywanfen

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chuuyasnumber1simp · 3 years

Text

Toxic- Dazai x GN! Reader

warnings: mentions of suicide, aftermath of attempted suicide, depictions of violence and torture, kidnapping, brief mentions of self harm, Dazai being toxic and borderline emotionally abusive but he has a reason, he’s a little emotionally stunted, general angst, a good ending but you have to work for it

word count: 4213

Dazai hated this time of year.

Summer was a season he oh so despised, sick of the uncomfortably hot weather that prompted people to ask why he was wearing so many layers in July.

He was sick of the pitied glances and confused faces as he strolled around Yokohama, adorning his usual trench coat and bandages.

But the one thing that made this season more bearable, was watching your face as you enjoyed all the summer activities. He couldn’t quite pin point when he started falling for you, but he did know it was around the same time he started pretending not to hate summer.

Dazai was a man of mystery, and preferred to stay that way (though deep down he wanted someone he could bare his soul with, but alas they always scurried away when he revealed the shattered pieces of his heart) yet you persisted in trying to crack him open, trying to see the real person behind the acting.

Yes, much to Dazai’s surprise, you figured out his profound talent for acting just weeks into your job at the ADA, and since attempted to see his real personality. Unfortunately, Dazai was always acting, even when he was not. Most of his life he has devoted to perfecting that act, his role, and not one single person has seen through all of the acting, all of the masks he wears. Everyday he wakes up, he climbs his tired and battered body upon that stage, and begins his act again. He has done this as long as he’s known, and he has no reason or desire to stop.

That is, until he met you.

Despite you only being able to see through his outermost mask, you’ve always understood him better than most people. Maybe that’s what drew him to you in the first place, the way you seemed at ease in his presence, seemingly ignoring his past and even present actions. He was enamored by your personality, and soon he too felt happier when you were around. He took this into account when you approached him after work, nervously ringing your hands together, refusing to meet his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, you slightly stuttered the words he didn’t realize he wanted to hear so badly.

“Will y-you go out with me? I know you don’t really do dates, with the whole double suicide thing, and if you don’t feel the same about me that’s fine, I just really like being around you and your hot so I was just wondering—“

He silenced you by planting a soft kiss against your lips, hoping it conveyed what he hoped.

“Does that answer your question?”

The months after that were happy, a white spot on his relatively bleak life. You brightened his day when you entered the room, and he loved the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed.

Yet, he still could not find a reason to stop the attempts to end his own life.

He loved you, god he was sure of it by this point, but when he stripped of his bandages and held a razor to his wrist, your face did not flash in his mind.

When he leaned over the edge of a bridge, your smile did not make him hesitate, though he wished it did.

He was angry, angry at himself for not loving you enough, and angry at you, in some twisted way, for not being enough.

Dazai was confused, confused about why he was angry at you, and confused about why you weren’t enough of a reason to stop himself every time he tried to commit suicide.

For once, Dazai Osamu had a problem.

and he had absolutely no idea how to fix it.

...............................................................................................

This was really annoying situation.

This was your third hostage situation in a month, and honestly you were getting sick of it. You really didn’t know how you kept getting in these situations, although it wasn’t all that surprising considering your line of work.

Your coworkers -yourself included- often found themselves in situations not unlike this one, though theirs, especially poor Atsushi’s, were usually more severe.

Another day, another migraine.

This time, you were slightly afraid, just because the men here this time were more serious. The way they conducted this situation was less like a robbery plus hostages, and more like a search.

Like they were looking for someone.

This part concerned you, because who exactly could they be looking for? This was just a simple grocery store, and you doubted they received enough money to warrant the type of people these men were. Petty thieves? sure. Gang members that possessed impressive weapons? It was unusual to say the least.

Currently, they had you all lined up against the wall of the vegetable section, hands zip tied behind your back. Your unusual ability -dream manipulation- would not help you here. In fact, it usually help you at all, but you weren’t concerned about that right now.

You were concerned about why these men were asking every persons name, and what they would do once they got to you.

One of the men, tall and imposing, sporting all black and a ski mask, plus military grade boots stopped in front of you.

“Name,”

You swallowed thickly. “Why do you need that?”

No sooner had the words life your mouth did you feel the boot connect with your abdomen- and not in a nice way. You coughed harshly, a little blood dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.

“Name,”

You spit the blood onto his boot, Dazai’s defiant personality must have rubbed off on you a bit.

“I’m not giving it until you tell me why,”

You weren’t stupid- you worked at the Armed Detective Agency, and people like this don’t ask for names unless their lookin for someone, usually someone who’s ‘wronged’ them. Being in the ADA had given you a lot of friends, but also a lot of enemy’s. Being the s/o of a former mafia executive didn’t really help either.

This time, the boot met your face, throwing you directly backwards into the carrots. The feeling of cold metal on your forehead and a clicking sound net your ears, and you looked up.

“I’m going to ask one more time before I’ll have to get a little messy. What. Is. Your. Name,”

“Elvis Presley,”

You regretted your choice instantly, as the gun went off directly into your thigh. You screamed, bullet wounds were always more painful then other wounds you got on the job.

where was the police? where was Dazai?

pain made it difficult to think straight, but you surmised that giving your name would be your best bet in this situation. You were most likely whoever they were looking for, and you didn’t want to endanger the innocent hostages.

“Y/N L/N. That’s my name,”

The man roughly grabbed your arm and hauled you to your feet, dragging you away from the other hostages.

“Yeah, we got the right person. Come on, let’s get out of here before the good ol boyfriend comes along,”

A bag was placed over your head, and you were thrown into the back of what you assumed was a van. Your injury’s weren’t that severe, yet the pain was unrelenting. It seemed to increase the longer you had them, though you didn’t know why.

“I bet your wondering why your in more pain then you were a bit ago,”

a man who’s voice you didn’t recognize spoke once the van came to halt, and it set you on edge.

“That would be the handy work of my ability, which i must say, comes in handy in my line of work. I can make one injury, one tiny little paper cut hurt like a thousand knives are stabbing you,”

As he explained his ability, the pain increasingly got worse, until you were writhing on the van floor, tears streaking down your face. Eventually, it stopped, and you sagged in momentary relief, only to be dragged out of the van.

You were about to slip into a pain filled unconsciousness when the sting of a taser brought you back. You jerked and screamed, just wishing it to all be over.

“Ah ah ah,” the man with the pain ability spoke again. “We’re gonna need you conscious for all of this. It’ll be more fun for me, and more painful for you!”

“Why,” you said, voice already hoarse from the events of today. “What did I do,”

“It’s not really what you did, but more like what Dazai did,”

..........................................................................

Dazai stood outside a warehouse, guilt and fear consuming him. His breaths were short and fast, and he could feel himself spiraling.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, you didn’t do anything, it’s my fault, god i am so STUPID—

“Dazai,”

Kunikida’s voice brought him away from his darkening thoughts, and Dazai tried to calm himself. Having a panic attack would not help the situation.

“Y/N is not helpless. I’m sure whatever this people have done, they’ll be fine,”

While Dazai wanted to believe his partner, he knew this specific group was known for their intense torture methods, because of their leaders ability. Dazai knew that the Port Mafia took down the majority of their organization, and he’d been tasked with breaking their leader, Takahashi Watanabe, and he did it through torturing and then murdering his fiancé. Dazai grimaced internally, the things he did in the Port Mafia usually did come back to bite him. He just wished they would leave you out of it.

This wasn’t the first time you had been dragged into grudges between Dazai and his old victims, and the guilt he felt about it had been building for some time now.

After deciding on a plan, Kunikida would take out the guards while trying to make as little noise as possible, and Dazai would enter, take down whoever was inside, and get you out. Kunikida would join him once he was done with the guards.

Kunikida’s ability came in handy at times like these, and although he did not show it, Dazai appreciated the strict man.

While Kunikida made quick work of the guards, Dazai slipped into a no longer protected entrance, and quietly surveyed the area.

Dazai had seen many things, he’d done many things, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for your beaten and bleeding body, chained up against a wall, the ring leader standing in front of you.

Every time Takahashi flicked his wrist, you would start writhing in pain screaming out to whoever would hear you.

Dazai couldn’t stomach any more of his lover being tortured right in front of him, so he rushed out from his hiding place and punched him in the back of his head, feeling his own fingers fracture and pop at the force.

“That’s enough of that now,”

Takahashi was stupid, and left all of his men to guard the entrances, leaving no one actually inside the building but himself and you. Dazai undid the chains, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, sobbing loudly into his chest.

“I thought I was going to die, it was so painful—“

“I know,” Dazai ran his non injured hand through your hair, rubbing circles in your back with the other. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here fast enough,”

“It’s okay,”

Although you told him it was okay, Dazai could not ignore the pit of guilt gnawing away at his insides. Every time this happened the guilt got stronger, taking over his mind, the thoughts of you being better off without him filled his mouth and head, choking him with all the softness of ash. He’d debated breaking up with you for months, not because he no longer loved you, but because the less you were attached to him, the less likely you were to be dragged into these situations.

Takahashi was the final straw, so while Kunikida drove the car that held you and Dazai back to the agency, Dazai silently made up his mind that it would be easier for you to break up with him if you hated him. Though it pained him to think of no more soft mornings with you by his side, or quiet nights where he wakes up heaving and your there to comfort him, he knows that you’ll be better, happier without him.

..........................................................................

Yosano healed you quickly, as Dazai waited nervously outside the door, swollen and purple fingers throbbing. You came out looking good as new, though Dazai doubted you had mentally and emotionally recovered at all.

He walked you back to the apartment, assuring you that Kunikida would let the both of you off easy this once, considering the day you’ve had.

And for once, Dazai was quiet.

The walk was quiet, and not in a good way. You were inside your own head, reeling from the events of today, and Dazai was mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have with you upon arriving at your apartment.

“Ugh,” You collapsed on the couch, not even changing out of your bloody and filthy clothes before wrapping yourself in a blanket.

Dazai felt his heart twist as you looked up at him with your big e/c eyes, and knew what he was going to do would hurt you. And for that, he internally apologized.

“Dazai? Is something wrong? you’ve been quiet ever since we left the agency. You didn’t even joke when Atsushi fell asleep in a cupboard again,”

“I’m breaking up with you,”

You scoffed. “Yeah right. Come on, what’s really bothering you?”

“No I’m serious,” He willed his eyes to remain cold, and hoped his face showed no sign of emotion. “I don’t love you, and to be honest I’m not sure I ever did. It was a nice thought, our relationship, but really, I just wanted to see how long I could take this with you,”

Your eyes were filled with confusion and hurt, and he saw tears prick the corners of your eyes.

“W-What?”

“Ah, did poor little Y/N think I really loved them? Or were you just projecting your emotions onto me, like you always do,”

The hurt in your eyes turned to anger. “You know what? Go to hell. If you think you can just play with my emotions and lead me on for five months, then I never want to see you again,”

“That’s the spirit!” Dazai snapped his fingers.

Stop.

“Were you lying then? This whole time, was it all a lie?”

The bandage covered brunette rolled his eyes. “Duh,”

Your hurting them. Stop it.

You wiped the tears from your eyes, then stood up and met him with a cold stare.

“I hope your next suicide is a success you monster,”

You walked out of the apartment with your head held high, though he knew you, so he knew you would probably head to Yosano’s place, and breakdown there. Maybe even Atsushi’s, if you really felt sad.

When he watched you slam the door, it all hit him, that you were gone, and he’d done it on purpose.

He’d ruined the only good thing he had in life, so now, once more, Dazai Osamu was alone.

..........................................................................

If Dazai hadn’t hated himself before, he definitely did now.

When he walked into work the next day, Atsushi slapped him. Hard.

Atsushi, of all people, had slapped Dazai.

The entire agency stopped, save for Ranpo, as Dazai lifted a hand to the growing red mark on his cheek.

“How dare you,” Atsushi started, eyes wild, tiger fur starting to grow from his arms. “Be an absolute dick to Y/N. You lead them on for five months Dazai, and then had the audacity to break it off after they got tortured? Because of how disgusting of a person you were? No, let me correct myself, how much of a disgusting person you are. If it were up to me, I’d fire you from the agency, and ship you back to the Port Mafia, since your so keen on being a monster!”

Dazai could feel his façade crumbling, and he felt the shocked and outright disgusted looks of his coworkers.

“If I were you,” Yosano spoke very quietly. “I would leave while you still have your life. You being immune to my ability will not stop me from slicing your entire body into pieces if you don’t leave and go back to whatever sewer you crawled out of,”

Dazai took his cue and left, letting his façade break when he hears you sniffle next to Kenji. Eyes downcast, Dazai whispers something so quiet not even Atsushi’s enhanced hearing could detect it.

“I’m sorry,”

..........................................................................

Dazai didn’t get out of bed for three days.

He couldn’t even sleep, dreams of you being tortured was all he saw whenever he closed his eyes. The memory of your face as he ripped apart your heart forever ingrained in his mind, a testimony to his treachery.

He wept bitterly, aware that all of your suffering he was the cause of. He was no doubt fired from his job, Fukuzawa was a kind and patient man, but he would not allow this kind of plain heartlessness. He’d known what kind of man Dazai was when he applied for a job at the ADA, but Dazai knew no amount of kindness could forgive what he’d done to you.

He dragged himself into the living room, turning on the tv, hoping to distract himself from his thoughts.

He flicked through the channels, then almost dropped the remote when he saw the report.

“The Armed Detective Agency building is currently on fire, Detectives Kunikida, Ranpo, and their coworkers have all exited the building safely, but Detective L/N is still inside. Due to their injury’s, the remaining detectives have not been permitted to re-enter the building to save Detective L/N, leaving all of us to pray they make it out alive. Their healer, Yosano, is out on a business trip, so all we can do is put our faith in modern medicine,”

Dazai ran out the door before the news reporter had even finished speaking, throwing on shoes and sprinting the the office. Luckily, he lived close enough to get there in ten minutes, and he spared no time ducking under the police tape.

“Dazai! Stop!” Kunikida yelled at him from beside a fire truck, and several firemen and policemen tried to stop him. He flashed his ADA badge -thank god he brought it with him- and dashed inside the burning building.

He choked on the heavy smoke, coughing heavily.

“Y/N! Where are you!”

He climbed the stairs, ignoring the burns of the flames that licked his arms and legs.

He burst into the office, fire consuming the room. He jumped over some fire that had spread across the floor, looking under each desk. Finally, under Ranpo’s desk, you were curled up clutching a stack of files.

“D-Dazai?” Soot covered your face, and he could hear your lungs heaving.

“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now, but your going to die if you stay in here,”

Carrying you bridal style, he ran out of the room, but stopped because the stairs down to the last level had completely caved in. It wasn’t too far to jump, by the only thing that greeted the both of you were bright orange flames.

He looked out the window beside you two, wasting no time to punch the glass, not caring about the shards stuck in his knuckles, before looking down at your form. You couldn’t longer see the rise and fall of your chest, and almost screamed.

“This might hurt,”

He leapt out the window, clutching you close to him, tucking and rolling so he took the brunt of the damage. With a sickening crunch, his shoulder popped out of its socket, but he didn’t care, he laid your lifeless form on the pavement, and began CPR.

“Someone get me an ambulance!” He yelled, never stopping chest compressions. His arms ached, his dislocated shoulder screaming at him to stop.

“Come on Y/N, wake up!” He screamed, tears making streak marks on his grime covered his face. He was vaguely aware of a medic running over to him, he could barley see past the blur of his own tears.

The medic gently took you away from him, and he held his face in his hands, sobbing. Atsushi crouched down besides him, but Dazai didn’t care. He didn’t care that anyone watching could see him cracking and breaking, he just wanted to know if you were okay.

“Why are you upset? I thought you didn’t love her?”

Dazai stood up. “I lied. I was stupid, and I lied, because don’t you see,” he turned to Atsushi, aware of the manic look he must have in his eyes. “She’s better off without me. She keeps getting injured because of my disgusting past. You said it yourself, I’m a monster,”

“Dazai—“ Atsushi started.

“Y/N is gone, and all of this is my fault,”

No one knew what to do, they’d never seen Dazai show this much emotion, they’d never seen his faces break, never seen him this broken.

Kenji was the only to move, the only to step towards the form of the crumbling man before them.

“Do you love them?”

“Yes. I really do. Now I’m scared I’ll never get to tell them again,”

Kenji motioned to Kunikida, and Dazai’s partner stepped toward him.

“Your truly an idiot Dazai. Don’t you think Y/N knew what they were getting into when they started dating you?”

“Well I don’t know, but I didn’t want them to get hurt anymore so I—“

“And therein lies your issue. You made a decision for them, without even asking their thoughts. Now you’ve caused pain for the both of you, and you may never get to apologize. Although I’m positive Y/N will make it out of this, i think you should go to the hospital to be there when they wake up,”

Dazai simply nodded once, taking in Kunikida’s words, then walked in the direction of the hospital. Kunikida was right. He is stupid. But hopefully, not too stupid for you.

He must’ve looked so dumb, walking into your hospital room, nervously ringing his hands together, not unlike you did when you asked him out.

“Dazai? What are you doing here?”

“Um, I kind of wanted to apologize. For being a monster,” his voice hitched on the last word, and he hoped you didn’t notice.

“Well? I’m waiting. Just because you saved my life doesn’t mean i don’t resent you for what you said,”

“I know I just...” Dazai took a deep breath before continuing.

“I’ve hated myself for a long time, that’s no mystery. But when we were together, it made all the pain go away. Even if it was just for a moment, it felt good. But, I lied to you. I’m stupid and I lied to you. I thought if you hated me, it’d be easier for you to get over me. I was wrong, but please understand,” he took your hand in his. “I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t love you. It’s the opposite. I love you, a lot, but you keep getting dragged into messes and horrible situations because of how much of a horrible person I was. How much of a horrible person I am,” Dazai hated the way his voice had started to wobble, but he kept going. “Y/N, I’m so sorry I told you all those things. I’m so sorry I broke up with you, and I’m sorry for how much my past has put you through. If you still never want to see me again, I understand, and I’ll leave now,” At this point, tears were quietly slipping down his cheeks, splattering on your hand that was held by Dazai’s. “Sorry,”

You locked Dazai with a hard gaze. “I haven’t fully forgiven you just yet. Breaking up with me over something that could have been discussed was stupid of you,”

Dazai nodded, turning to leave the room.

“But,”

But?

You continued softly. “Someone who doesn’t love me wouldn’t jump out of a burning building and perform CPR that saved my life. I don’t think your a monster, and I don’t think your a horribly person. A little dumb yeah, and definitely not perfect, but you know,”

He turned back to face you, hope rising in his chest.

“I think that’s why I fell in love with you. Because of the person you are underneath, the person you are underneath all that acting,”

Despite you still being injured, you wobbled over to his shaking form.

“So, Dazai Osamu, I’m willing to give you a second chance. Provided you vow to try to stop committing suicide, because it hurt when you did it. It hurt to know that I wasn’t enough to keep you here. And next time, let’s talk about stuff okay?”

He nodded mutely, and you opened your arms.

“Come here,”

He wasted no time hugging you tight, shamelessly crying. Tears of sadness, tears of joy whatever they were, Dazai didn’t care.

Because Dazai had finally found his reason for living.

Hi this is self indulgent nd i wrote it on my phone. Its a vent sorta, i kinda want one of my comfort characters to hug me rn :))))) messed up family life amiright guys

#dazai #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader

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bungou-stray-dingus · 4 years

Note

I’ve just read the head cannons of Chuuya and Dazai’s bebes and I love it 🥰 can you write how they’ll react when someone kidnapped their babies and how they would get them back? QwQ

A/N : I've been gone for so long and I'm so sorry. This request and many others have laid dormant in my ask box for many many months and I'm so sorry. I went through big depression kick, and I didn't write for a while. I ended up getting laid off from my job because of the rona, and everything just felt uncertain for a while and I honestly didn't really know what to do. I slowly got back into writing, starting off with my fanfiction just to get back into the swing of it, and now I'm ready to make y'all proud and finish all the requests! I'm sorry for making you all wait so long, and I want this request and all other requests that I answer to be amazing for all of you. So, here we go! -Hopefully (still) Your Favorite Dingus

T/W : angst; kidnapping; slight mention of blood;

Osamu Dazai

Kazue was the literal light of his life, aside from you... obviously. You and his son were the center of his entire universe, he would do anything for you and his son. He made that quite known, considering how spoiled your son was already. At three years old, Dazai had already managed to buy your son everything he did, and sometimes didn't need.

Your son was a lot like his dad in the way that he liked to run off often, having you worried sick in the middle of the grocery store of mall. Dazai would often find him at the gumball machines or the tiny change eating rides in the middle of the mall. Your son hated to be confined in his stroller, and Dazai agreed that strollers were awful contraptions and that your son should be allowed to walk around.

His views quickly changed when you were out shopping for groceries one afternoon. Dazai was at work, and trying to keep your son in the shopping cart proved to be impossible, so you had agreed to let him out of the cart as long as he stayed close to you and hold your hand. You promised to get him candy if he followed those two simple rules, but thanks to Dazais relaxed parenting, your son just assumed he'd get candy no matter what. (Thanks Dazai)

You had only let go of his hand for a second, kneeling down to grab something from the bottom shelf. The last thing you heard was the small cry of "Momma!" and when you shot up and turned around he was gone. Your heart sank as you dropped the item in your hand and ran to the front of the store, asking the employees if they had seen your son, showing them the pictures in your wallet, and all of them shook their head, only able to offer their sympathies to you.

Calling your husband was the hardest part, trying to keep your voice and your hands steady as you held your phone up to your ear. The employees had already called the police for you, and they were scouring the entire store trying to look for any clue as to where your son could be.

When you had managed to tell Dazai what happened, he was on his way to the store, he didn't waste any time at all. He was furious, and at first he took his anger out on you. "I thought you were watching him!" "How could you let this happen?!" "Why would you let him go!?" He was angry and he wasn't thinking straight, but as soon as he saw how his words affected you, he quickly pulled you into a hug, peppering the top of your head with kisses. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, darling. It's not your fault."

An officer brought over Kazue's stuffed kitty cat which was a gift from Fukuzawa. He had gotten it on his first birthday and refused to part with it, he brought it with him everywhere. The sight of the kitty cat not being held by Kazue made you throw up immediately, your mind jumping to the worst possible scenario. You heard Dazai grit his teeth, his arm was wrapped around you tightly, and his grip on your shirt tightened.

The two of you race to the Agency, every other case that they had been working on is dropped instantly. Desks are cleared and pushed together to draw out a map of the entirety of Yokohama. You're sitting on one of the couches in the office, Kazue's kitten clutched against your chest, your tears soaking the top of the plushy. The light in Dazais eyes has disappeared completely, he's stern, on edge. His voice is hard but you can hear it break occasionally at the end of his sentences, especially when he says his sons name.

Ranpo and Atsushi are the main people Dazai communicates with, his voice is mixed with the constant slamming of his fists on the desk when his emotions take over completely. "Where the hell is my son!?" He shouts as he drops his head into his hands. That's the only time he'll cry, his body shaking violently. You walk over and wrap your arms around him from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder as you both sob.

Everyone had been sitting around the office quietly watching you and Dazai have your moment. They all felt hopeless, especially when Dazai had initially went to Ranpo and he didn't seem to have a clue as to where Kazue was or who had taken him. "Why... Why would anyone take him? What's the reason? I want to know a reason!" Dazai shouted, his fists once again coming down on the desk. You pulled away quickly, giving him his space to lash out. He threw everything off the desk, his head dropping into his arms that were folded against the desk and letting out a scream.

His strength was being tested, he was breaking. It killed you to see him like this, you knew that there was nothing you could do to calm him. There was nothing worse that could ever happen to him, his son was everything to him. Kazue was the reason he had stopped attempting suicide, Kazue gave him a reason to stay alive, Kazue was his life line. Dazai loved his son with every fiber of his being, and right now he not only lost his son, he lost his reason for living. If anything were to happen to your son, if the worst case scenario was the actual case, you were sure that you would lose your husband as well.

All hope had seemed lost, the sun was quickly setting over the city. Everyone was emotionally exhausted. You were curled up on the couch, your head resting on Dazai's lap, his fingers massaging your scalp. "Please, get some rest darling. You need it." He whispered to you when he saw you slowly drift to sleep only to have your eyes open quickly. You felt bad for falling asleep, knowing that your son was out there somewhere without you or his father.

You handed Dazai the stuffed kitten before rolling over and trying to get comfortable. "Here, if anything comes up.. he's gonna need his Fuwa." You said sleepily, and you heard Dazai's chuckle, it sounded like he was being choked. He sniffled as he grabbed the kitten and brought it up to his face, silently crying into it.

Ranpo stood up from his chair and made his way over to the desk, pulling the map up off the floor and laying it flat on the desk. His eyes were wide open, the soft emerald green had long since turned as hard as the gem itself. Dazai shifted you off his lap and made his way over to Ranpo, stuffing Fuwa into his coat pocket. Atsushi followed him over and they both peered over Ranpo's shoulder, looking down at the map, following where Ranpo pointed with his fingers.

"The warehouse... next to the Port. Whoever it was quick enough to be gone before Y/N could notice, but he was still able to drop his cat. That means the person was on foot, so this person would have to be somewhere close to the store so a scene wouldn't be made, but somewhere they could hide him. They're most likely expecting us to show up, they want something in return, this is a ransom kidnapping." Ranpo said and Dazai nodded, trusting him with 100% of his being. He had to be right, but Dazai also knew how some ransom situations worked out. If it took too long...

"We have to go now." Dazai growled, and Ranpo nodded, Atsushi "hmph"ing in agreement. Kunikida stood up from his chair, joining the three of them by the door.

"None of you know how to drive. Let's go." Kunikida had a soft spot for Kazue, he wanted your son home safe as much as everyone else. (Even if he thought his father was a complete dunce.)

Everyone in the office agreed to stay with you just in case you woke up before the four of them got back, and with that they all ran out the door, hopping into Kunikida's car and speeding off towards the warehouse.

When they got there, they snuck up to the doors of the warehouse. Dazai leaned his head against the door, hoping to hear something, anything that would indicate that his son was in there. His heart was beating fast, and as much as he wanted to murder someone for stealing his son in the first place, he wanted to bring Kazue home with him, bring him back to you safe and sound more than anything else.

"Momma... Daddy..." He heard the soft whimpers of his son coming from the inside of the warehouse. It sounded like he was crying and Dazai to control his urge to kick down the door right then and there. He needed to be careful so that no harm would come to his son, but the sounds of his son softly crying had him seeing red. "Pwease..." He heard his son again and his heart shattered, the sound of his son pleading with his captor had him on the verge of an anger induced emotional breakdown.

Kunikida pulled the gun from the back of his pants and silently counted down from three before they pulled the door open. All four of them had guns, refusing to let Atsushi use his ability out of fear of hurting Kazue. There was one man in the corner of the room, a gun pointed at the head of your son as he smirked up at the four men. They all stopped dead in their tracks, dropping their guns to the ground and holding their hands up in the air. "Please, don't hurt him..." Dazai choked out, his eyes locking with his son in the corner.

"Took you all long enough to show up, thought you guys were detectives. He was becoming a pain in my ass, constantly crying, asking for his mommy and daddy and his Fuwa." The man chuckled as he cocked the gun back and pointed it back at your son. "Do you know why I'm doing this? Do you know?!" The guy shouted and Kazue cried out, his arms outstretched for Dazai.

He felt like he was going to collapse, the room was spinning, he had to compose himself though, he had to stay focused. He looked to Kunikida and Atsushi, hoping the plan would work out how they had said.

Kunikida quickly bent down and grabbed his gun off the floor, firing one shot at the arm of the man, making him drop the gun. Kazue let out a shrill scream and Dazai took this moment to run over and scoop him up off the floor, holding him close against his chest. The other three ran over to the man, Atsushi and Kunikida pinned him down on the ground as Ranpo cuffed his arms behind his back.

After the police took the man away they all made their way back to the Agency building, Dazai was in the back of the car holding Kazue on his lap, rocking him back and forth as his son fell asleep in his arms. The man had been one of the criminals they had captured before Kazue was even born. He had held an entire bank and its customers hostage, but had never actually killed someone, so he was let out on good behavior recently. He had been stalking Dazai, and he found out about you and Kazue and decided that he would have his revenge for the Agency ruining his life. None of them ever found out if the man would have actually hurt Kazue, and honestly, they didn't want to know, they were all just happy that he was unharmed.

When they walked through the door and you saw Kazue being cradled in Dazais arms you fell to your knees and cried. Tanizaki and Yosano had to help you stand up, and as soon as you found your footing you ran over to Dazai. "Hi Momma!"

Dazai now sternly enforced the stroller rule, he didn't want to go through anything like that ever again.

Chuuya Nakahara

Asa was his princess and you were his queen. But his daughter, oof, if anyone even looked at his daughter wrong for crying he would kill someone. Do not test Chuuya when it comes to his child. He would kiss the ground that she crawls on, he loves her so much.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think his office was a shrine dedicated to her and you. There were framed pictures of you and her, and sometimes the three of you hung on his wall, propped up on his desk and coffee table, pretty much any surface that could have pictures, they were covered.

She had just celebrated her first birthday, she was learning how to walk which Chuuya would not shut up about. If there was ever a moment to talk about his daughter he would. The Mafia members had all learned to just deal with it, knowing that if they looked agitated about the constant talk of his daughter they would either be demoted or have their asses kicked.

"Does she really have to start sleeping in her own room? She's got a crib in our room, I don't see the problem." Chuuya whispered to you from the couch as you made your way into the room opposite of yours and his. She had an entire nursery that was practically unused due to protective parenting. He really didn't see a reason in having her in a completely different room when it was so much easier to have her in yours and his room. If she woke up, he could get her immediately and get her back to sleep in the bed between the two of you.

When you came out of the bedroom you sat with him on the couch, his arm habitually wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer. He turned down the television so he could hear the monitor clearly. "If she gets too used to sleeping with us in our room, she'll never want to sleep in her own room. She's not that much further. You're spoiling her, honey." He groaned and you stifled your laughter, propping yourself up to press a quick peck to his cheek. "We should try to get some rest while she's sleeping. Come on."

The two of you laid in your bed, he held you close against his chest while you traced hearts against his bare chest with your finger. "I don't know why she has to sleep in her own room now though. She's only a year old. She's still my baby. I feel better having her close." He sighed, adjusting his free hand behind his head as he turned to look over at the video monitor, the corner of his lips twitching up slightly as he watched his daughter sleep peacefully in her crib.

"You're scared of her growing up. She's turned you into a big softy. You know, she's gonna keep growing."

"Don't say that. She's only one." He pulled his arm out from underneath you and ran his hands over his face. He hated thinking of her getting bigger, growing older. The thought of her not being the adorable, babbling baby that waddled over to the door whenever he walked in with open arms was enough to make him almost cry. ALMOST.

"You know... we can have more..." You said almost too seductively as you peppered kisses across his shoulders. It was supposed to be a joke, but he didn't take it as such. He wouldn't mind one or two more little princesses or princes teetering around the house.

The two of you thoroughly tired each other out, the night seemed to be going perfectly. Asa hadn't woken up yet, and this was the first time the two of you had been able to be intimate in that way since she had reached the eight month mark. You fully blamed Chuuya for that though, he had spoiled her so much, but he didn't seem to mind it at the time. Now he seemed to be convinced that having her in a separate room wasn't such a bad thing.

Everything was silent, the only sound was the crickets chirping outside and the occasional sound of a car passing by in the distance. That would shortly come to an end though, the sound of glass breaking and Asa's blood curdling scream coming from both the monitor and the room across the hall had jolted you and Chuuya from your peaceful slumber. You grabbed the monitor off the nightstand and Chuuya ordered you to stay in bed as he ran out of the room and into Asa's room. You knew though, it was too late as you saw the cloaked man who was holding your daughter jump out of the window just as the door flew open and Chuuya came into view on the screen.

"NO! Son of a BITCH!" His screeching voice was just as loud as your daughters cries had been and you dropped the monitor into your lap on the bed as the realization hit you. This wouldn't have happened if you had just listened to Chuuya, if you had let her sleep in your bedroom as she always had. He ran back into the room, flicking the lights on as he went over to the closet and quickly got dressed.

"This... this is my fault... if I would have listened..." You said, not able to face your him at all. He turned to face you, sighing as he tried to calm his nerves. He was already fully dressed, ready to hunt down and murder the asshole who had the nerve to take HIS daughter. He made his way around the bed to the side you were on, grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you softly.

"Don't you even dare blame yourself. I'm gonna get her back. I need you to stay here though, I can't have you getting hurt." You knew what he meant. The way that he felt right now, this would probably turn into an all out war, and if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time you could end up injured. You nodded slowly, kissing him one last time before he ran out of the room and out the front door.

He barely gave the car time to start up before slamming his foot down on the gas pedal, peeling out of the parking spot and speeding down the street. His vision was blurry as the tears started to stream out of his eyes, he was only able to keep his composure long enough to hopefully make you feel better. Now that he was alone he had hurdled the thin line between lashing out and having a complete mental and emotional breakdown.

The only thing keeping him from getting into a severe car accident was knowing that he had to stay alive to save Asa. Although he couldn't see where he was going through his clouded vision, he had dedicated the route to muscle memory, and he could luckily see faint streaks of red and green lights indicating braking cars and traffic lights.

When he got to the headquarters he got some questionable stares from the guards, it was three o'clock in the morning, considerably late, or maybe early, to be coming into work. When they attempted to speak to him he couldn't even mumble out a "fuck off" through his sobs. He raced up the stairs, not having the patience to deal with waiting for the elevator to get him up to the floor he needed to be on.

He stormed into Mori's office, and, not unlike his boss, he found him sitting at his desk, his hands folded under his chin as he stared down at the papers in front of him. "They said you'd be on your way up. What's wrong Chuuya?" Mori asked, motioning to the armchair in front of his desk. Chuuya didn't want to sit though, so he strode over to the desk, slamming the note that had been left in Asa's room down in front of Mori. "What is this?" Mori asked, grabbing the note between his gloved fingers and unfolding it.

"He got my Asa. I'm gonna fucking kill him!" Chuuya screamed, remembering the words that had been carefully scripted out on the thick note paper.

"For the beautiful woman who was murdered by one of your own. I shall avenge her. An eye for an eye. -H"

He knew exactly who "H" was, and he knew exactly who the beautiful woman was that he was speaking of. What he didn't understand was why he would target his family, his daughter to get back at the Mafia for what had happened. Chuuya hadn't even taken part in the situation that had sparked this outcome, so it made absolutely no sense to him.

"Chuuya, you need to stay calm. Asa is loved dearly by everyone here, I will get together everyone needed to find her." Chuuya found his bosses strange sense of composure to be infuriatingly irritating.

"How could I possibly stay calm!?" Chuuya shouted, he wanted to lash out, he wanted to go off on someone, anyone.

"I would feel the same way if it was my darling Elise who had been taken." Mori said, but that was a mistake. Chuuya sighed, exasperated. He was pacing the floor, but when Mori had the audacity to utter those words, he punched the wall that he was closest to, leaving a large hole.

"She's your god damn ability! You wouldn't understand half of what I was feeling because this is my actual fucking DAUGHTER! So don't tell me I need to stay calm!" Chuuya screamed, the tears seemed to flow endlessly, staining his cheeks as they ran down to his chin, hanging on for only a second before splashing down onto the hard wood floors. Mori didn't argue back, he knew that Chuuya was emotionally unstable right now, so he just nodded in agreement.

"So what is it that you need me to do?" He asked, the phone already in his hand as his fingers hovered over the dial.

"Get everyone here..." Chuuya muttered before finally crashing down in the armchair. His sobs had eventually become choked off, and he was left shaking in the chair, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest as he tried to hold himself together.

Everyone had filed into the office, some of them looked agitated, others looked tired and pissed off that they had been woken up, but when they saw Chuuya's current state they knew that something was wrong. His usual smug, cocky smirk seemed to have been erased, the only emotion that was left to be read on his face was pain.

Chuuya didn't need to say much, no one needed a thorough explanation to jump into action. Asa was the one beacon of light that graced the walls of the Mafia headquarters whenever Chuuya brought her in. She had even managed to make Akutagawa crack a small smile when she had burped in Chuuya's face and then spit up on his freshly laundered coat.

Around five o'clock in the morning he got a call from you. He answered it quickly, and it broke his heart to hear how distraught you were. "H-Hi honey... It's almost time for her bottle. She'll need to eat soon, and she'll need to be changed, and and and... god, please tell me you've found her..." You were a mess, and he could only imagine how much harder it was for you to be there in your home, surrounded by all of her things but not her.

"Not yet... but I swear, I'm gonna bring her home to you, okay? Trust me." He needed you to trust him, because right now all hope seemed lost. There was no possible leads as to where the jackass could be keeping her, nobody knew where to find the guy.

"It's... It's so quiet... please bring her home." You whispered out between broken sobs, he heard you try to swallow back the lump that had been building in your throat. He could only nod, giving you a small hum as an answer.

After you had hung up, whispering out a solemn "I love you." Before ending the call he was right back at it. He was dead set on catching this guy today. Not only had he stolen away his daughter, but he had destroyed his wife, his love... This man had crossed a line and he was going to pay for it.

"Oi, Chuuya. Look, at the bottom of the note." Tachihara said, he had the note close up to his face, his eyes squinting as he focused on the tiny scrawling at the bottom of the page. Chuuya ran over and snatched the paper out of his hands, walking over to the large window to try to shine some light onto the paper and see the writing clearer.

"For fucks sake, they're coordinates! They were here the entire time!" Chuuya was seething now, this must have been a sick game to that man. Chuuya grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and headed for the door, but he was stopped by Mori who placed a hand on his chest.

"This might be a trap, how do you know it's not?" Mori said and there was a soft murmur of agreement from the group of people that were standing around.

"Does it matter!? She could be there and that's all that matters!" Chuuya screamed, the tears that threatened to spill were stinging his eyes. The fact that they thought he cared about his own safety as this moment was almost laughable, he would have laughed if his throat didn't feel like it was closing in on itself. "If you're so fucking worried than I'll take Akutagawa..." This is all his fault anyway, isn't it? Akutagawa was the one who had murdered the woman who he was avenging, so he might as well come along.

Chuuya pulled the coordinates up on his phone and it pinpointed a building that seemed on the map to be rundown and abandoned. A princess like Asa didn't belong in a place like that, it made him sick to even imagine his beautiful, precious daughter in such a desolate area. He growled as the directions read that it would take an hour and a half, maybe two hours to get there.

He would make it in half the time though. He could give a shit less about traffic rules, and if the cops even dared to try to stop him on his mission, the wrath of Hell and Chuuya would be brought down upon them. He sped down the streets, winding through traffic like it was nothing. He didn't speak a word to Akutagawa, and Akutagawa knew not to talk to him right now either. Chuuyas mind was a frenzy, a whirlwind of emotions. A mixture of anger, depression, rage, and heartache, and all of those emotions were just simmering.

The devil himself wouldn't be able to stomach what Chuuya planned on doing to the man who took his daughter from him.

He made it there in record time, the drive only took fifty five minutes, an hour tops to get there. The entire drive, Chuuya's eyes would glance in the windshield mirror, looking back at the empty car seat, hoping that it would soon be filled with his perfect little bundle of joy to be brought home.

Chuuya kicked the door in and his eyes immediately zeroed in on the trail of blood droplets on the floor. His heart sank while his stomach rose, he tried to control his dry heaving as horrid images and scenes filled his mind. "Remember his ability, it uses blood." Akutagawa said sternly, trying to keep Chuuya from losing it completely already.

They followed the trail up a case of stairs that seemed like a safety hazard, and Chuuya hated to think that his daughter was in this place at all. It wasn't safe enough for her to be in, she could get hurt at any point. This place needed to be demolished as soon as he got her out of here. He would do it himself if the city didn't want to.

The blood stopped in front of a door, and as soon as Chuuya heard the soft whimpering of his daughter behind the door he kicked it in. She was sitting in a small dingy playpen in the corner of the room, and Akutagawa had to hold Chuuya back to keep him from running straight for her.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? SHE'S RIGHT THERE!" Chuuya shouted, alerting his daughter to his presence. She pulled herself up on the rails of the playpen, stomping her feet to show him that she was becoming impatient.

"This might be the trap. We need to be careful." Akutagawa hissed, and Chuuya knew he was right. He sighed and peaked into the room, scanning it entirely to make sure it was empty before stepping in. Akutagawa followed close behind, Rashomon creating a shield around himself and Chuuya as they made their way over to Asa.

As soon as Chuuya got close enough he pulled her out of the playpen, holding her tight against his chest. He breathed her in, finding instant comfort in the smell of the all too familiar baby lotion and lavender shampoo that you used for her nightly baths. "I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, princess. My beautiful baby girl, daddy loves you so much." He cooed to her, but just as things seemed to be going flawlessly, a loud scream escaped her tiny rose petal lips.

A hail of what seemed like bullets were fired across the room, and one of them managed to hit her leg. Chuuya held onto his composure long enough to check her leg, it had just skimmed by, but it was enough to make her bleed and to make her cry. He was trembling, all of his emotions had formed into one cluster fuck of pure, unfiltered rage. He passed Asa over to Akutagawa and ordered him to leave the room through his teeth. Akutagawa didn't bother to argue, instead wrapping Rashomon around himself and Asa completely and running out of the room and down the stairs.

Chuuyas teeth were barred as the man stepped out from the darkest shadow of the room. He didn't have time to speak before Chuuya charged at him, tackling him to the ground and pummeling him with his bare hands, the force of his ability behind each and every punch would leave the man unrecognizable. He was going to kill him, he wanted to kill him, but the vibration of his phone in his pocket made him stop. He pulled his phone out and when he saw it was you it brought him back to reality, the reality that his daughter was waiting for him, and you were still at home waiting for him to bring her home.

He answered it, holding his phone between his ear and shoulder as he wiped the blood of the man off his hands. "Did you find her? Tell me you found her!" Your voice was hoarse, he knew that you hadn't stopped crying. He couldn't keep you waiting any longer, you deserved to hold Asa in your arms as well.

"We'll be home in an hour or two." He said, and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders when he heard your sigh of relief at his words.

Two Months Later

Chuuya was propped up on the floor, his head resting in his open palm as he bounced Asa's plush horse across the floor, making the horse noises as he did so. The sound of Asa's laughter was music to his ears, and her wide smile was just as beautiful as she flaunted her newly sprouted bottom two teeth. She crawled across the floor towards Chuuya who quickly lifted her up in the air. "Airplane Asa coming in for the landing!" He said playfully as he lowered her down to her his face and pressed a quick kiss to her nose.

His head shot up as he heard the bedroom door open. You had your hands behind your back, and the wide smile that spread across your face when you saw him made his heart flutter. He sat up, his back against the couch now, Asa on his lap attempting to imitate her fathers horse sounds as she bounced the plush horse across her lap. "What's up, baby?" Chuuya asked, wondering what could possibly be behind your back.

You moved your hands to the front, holding the white stick between two fingers and smiling down at him. "Congratulations, daddy."

a/n : I hope you enjoyed my first request after my ridiculously long hiatus. Again, I apologize for being gone so long, but I can't wait to start working on all the requests that are in my inbox. I love you all!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd headcanons #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya #chuuya nakahara x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya headcanons #dazai headcanons

368 notes · View notes

ichorizaki · 3 years

Text

heather, meet heather—n.h., d.o.

pairing nakahara chūya x reader x dazai osamu

genre pure angst

word count 2.2k

warnings slight blood mention, very brief; unrequited love; love triangle; pining

a/n my first bsd piece and it’s angst! i love that for me

synopsis you’re watching the man that you fell in love with fall for another person, but you can’t bring yourself to hate her. chūya watches after you as you pine for an unnamed man, falling for you in the process, but could never quite bring himself to hate the man.

Some people would say that falling in love with somebody was the most blissful thing that could ever happen to you. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach, fluttering and dancing whenever the person you fancy says something that makes your heart skip a beat. You could feel the way your body reacts in order to be in tandem with them, like a waltz of two souls in a garden of fairy tales. You could feel the experience of you falling head over heels with someone in the way you keep wondering how their day was, how they smile, how their eyes light up when talking about something that they adore.

You agreed with all of that. You did feel the butterflies, your body being weird, and you catching yourself wondering if Dazai Osamu wondered about you. You were head over heels for the man who was supposed to be someone terribly feared by the Port Mafia and highly respected by the Armed Detective Agency. You were just someone who happened to be friends with Osamu himself long before his days as a member of the mafia. You never even realised that you’d fallen in love with him until the day he told you that he was in love with a woman whose name you never recognised.

Did it hurt? Of course it did. Watching the person that you fell in love with fall in love with someone else was a curse that you’d never cast even upon the worst of your enemies. You helped him with a heavy heart in executing his plan of getting to know her and eventually take her out on a date. She was just an intern in the agency, helping with the ad hoc duties and she had an abundance of opportunities to be closer to him compared to you. You were just a college graduate with a master’s working full-time as a barista in a café somewhere in the heart of Yokohama trying to make ends meet. It hurt like hell to just be the person that he seeks advice from.

Every time he talked to you, the mirth and ecstasy that swam in the deep ochre pools of his eyes made you wish that he was talking about you like that. Every time he’d begged for you and Atsushi to follow him on their dates made you throw up a little bit in your mouth. You were heartbroken. You knew that Atsushi was looking at you in pity everytime you were both dragged along. You didn’t care. Maybe if you closed your eyes and wished hard enough, the girl would disappear and you’d replace her, his strong arm wrapped around your shoulder underneath the cool November weather.

You were staring into space as you dried the glassware, the store dark with remnants of the staff clearing the trash and cleaning up the café. You didn’t quite pay attention to what you were doing, the chore but a muscle memory while you were distracted with the plaguing thoughts that intruded your mind.

The woman came into the café earlier that day. Even in the midst of the rush hour, even when her order was messed up a little bit, she was patient and kind. She wasn’t everything you wished you were, but she occupied the space in Osamu’s heart and mind. You just wanted to be that person.

Your fingers slipped when grabbing a freshly cleaned cup, the glassware tumbling from your hand and breaking into pieces upon landing in the sink. Thank god you were facing the sink and it didn’t fall on the ground. It would be such a bitch to clean up.

Your coworkers asked if you were okay and if you needed help, for you were bleeding. Wait, bleeding? In a daze, you look down to your hand and sure enough there was a cut. You were pretty sure that it was the universe telling you to move on but it was not as easy as you thought it would be.

How pathetic were you, pining after a man who saw you as nothing more but a good friend? A man who wouldn’t see you as someone he’d want to spend the rest of his life with romantically?

But you’d be the devil incarnate if you ever wished that upon her. She’s . . . perfect. As terrible as it was, you hoped for her to be a bitch beneath those layers of expensive clothes. You hoped for her to be some form of possessive asshole, but she wasn’t. She’s kind, she’s patient, she’s generous, she’s encouraging, and you couldn’t sense any form of malintent from her. Neither could Atsushi. Neither could Kunikida. Neither could Naomi. Nobody could, and that’s what had made you cry yourself to sleep for countless nights.

Then came Nakahara Chūya like an angel sent from the worst part of heaven. He came into the café on one rainy day, his dark coat dripping with the tears of the sky. It made a wet, slippery trail of droplets as he made his way across the empty café before planting himself in a seat before peeling the heavy article off of his body. You would be lying if you didn’t think he was handsome. You took the initiative to summon the mop to wipe up the mess caused by the rain.

He sheepishly apologised, asking if you had somewhere he could dry off his coat. That was the first time that your eyes had met. His were the piercing grey of hardened steel, flecks of emerald splattered around the ring of his irises, and they were the most stunning pair of eyes you’d ever seen. His eyes were a huge contrast to his appearance and his personality as a whole—cold, calm, collected—but it was nothing you ever minded. For some reason, they were just as inviting as the warm whiskey gold of Osamu’s.

Of course you said yes. There was a dryer you could toss his coat in and you could brew him a warm drink for his stay. His dampened vermillion hair fell in tight waves over his face, framing his features beautifully; a stark contrast against the pale white of his skin.

“What drink would you like? You should have something warm while waiting for the rain to stop,” you offered. He kept a watchful eye on you, admiring the way you were already retrieving a small laminated piece of paper that he assumed was the menu.

“What would you recommend? I’ve never been in this part of town.”

You hummed, deep in thought. You rested your forearms against the cool wooden countertop, eyes narrowing just the slightest as you drank in his appearance. It was just a ruse for you to fully admire how attractive he is. The way that he curiously watched you never went unnoticed, his adam’s apple bobbing ever so slightly as he placed the menu down on the countertop.

“You seem like a matcha hojicha latte kinda guy,” you declared with a decisive nod. His eyebrows lifted in amusement. “That’ll be five bucks, good sir.” You cheekily grinned at him, moving to the counter on your left. He mirrored your grin. Did he think you were going to offer him a drink on the house?

Upon making his drink, you made yourself a warm drink to combat the cold interior of the café. You took a seat next to him on the other side of the counter. Seeing how there weren’t any other customers going in or out, you grasped the opportunity to get to know about him, as he did you. He introduced himself, and then talked about his day. You noticed the little quirks that he had—how his eyebrow twitches when he’s annoyed, how he laughs obnoxiously loud and slaps his knee when something tickles him funny, how he falls quiet when it was your turn to talk and how equally observant he was to your needs.

You would be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed that the rain stopped and his coat was perfectly dry and warm. He must have noticed that your mood had dampened just the slightest despite the clearing sky and warmth flooding through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the café. Chūya, ever so chivalrous, suggested to exchange contacts to keep in touch. Who were you to disagree?

After that fateful day, Chūya had taken a liking to you. There was just something about you that kept drawing him back every time. Even when he wasn’t in the area, any time he could drop by, he would. He would always order the same thing—matcha hojicha latte and a slice of matcha azuki cake—unless you’d suggest he try something new in the menu or another cake from the selection that they had.

He couldn’t get enough of you. He was always asking you about your day, if you had any plans, what show you were currently binging, and he’d always let you rant to him about even the most menial of things. There was one time, he remembers, that you ranted to him about how you saw a stray kitten so sweet and playful that it broke your heart to leave it in the streets after feeding it and playing with it for a solid hour after your shift had ended at work. It got to the point where you were full-on bawling. You were calling him, upset, a week later, saying that the kitten that you’d named Jiji, was no longer in the back alley of the store as he used to be.

“Chūya! I can’t find Jiji!” That was the first thing that you said when he picked up the call. He was back at his sleeping quarters, phone wedged in between his ear and shoulder while he undid the buttons of his vest with one hand. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Jiji?” He echoed, shrugging off the vest. He heard a sound of confirmation from you. Chūya sat down on his bed, grabbing his phone to hold it carefully against his ear so he could solely focus on you.

“The cat living in the back alley of the café,” you elaborated breathlessly. Oh. “He’s not here. What if someone took him?” You sighed heavily and he could hear you planting yourself down on the cobblestone floor. Traffic could be heard farther away from your side of the call, but it was nothing he minded because it made sure that you were in a public place and you were somewhat safe.

“If someone took him, that would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?” He tried to reason, the image of the calico—cleaned, vaccinated, sterilised, and happily roaming the halls of the building—appearing in his mind. Yep, he was the culprit. “That means that someone’s caring for him. He’s got a bed to sleep in and he’s not wondering when his next meal will be, right?”

He could practically hear you deflate at his words, the corners of his lips tugging upwards into an amused smirk. He had always found it adorable how you whined a little whenever he was right. Another heavy sigh came from your end, unsatisfied that it wasn’t you who brought him home, but you couldn’t exactly do so anyway. On top of rent and your own basic needs, you had no room to home a cat.

“Have you had dinner?” His dark silver-coated eyes flicker to the digital clock on his nightstand. It was a little past seven in the evening, right when your full shift had ended as it should. The loud growl from your stomach on the other end was enough of an answer, eliciting a soft chuckle from him. “Okay, stay there. Let’s have dinner together. That sound good?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Chūya.” He’s always loved the way that his name rolled off of your tongue, like it was an age-old remedy that breathes life and wonder.

“I’ll see you in a bit, angel.”

When he picked you up, you looked like a kicked puppy sitting by the entrance of your café. That night, he took you out for dinner and he learned a little bit more about you. As the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, he felt his heart squeeze in disappointment when he’d found out that you were hung up over somebody else.

The thing was, he couldn’t even be mad at the person. He didn’t know who he was, nor could he give two fucks, but he wanted to be mad at the person for breaking your heart like that. Yet from the way you described him, he was just the average joe who didn’t dare to hurt a fly.

You talked about him like he was the light of your life; like he had handpicked the stars in the night sky and had carefully placed them, mapping out the ageless constellations that stared back at you every night. You talked about him like he was the sole reason for your happiness and the main cause of your despair.

Did it hurt? Fuck yeah, it did. He’s watching the person he’s in love with fall apart because of the person they’re in love with. But what else could he do but be by your side? What else could he do but help you move on from this mysterious man while he keeps his feelings for you locked away in the deepest depths of his heart, never to be touched? Chūya knew he couldn’t make you as happy as the other man could. The least that he could do was try. Even when the world tears itself apart, he’d do anything to make sure you were safe and sound. Because that’s what friends were for, after all.

#꒰⚡️꒱ ⨾ zeus’ thunderbolt #bsd #bbthots #tw blood mention #cw blood mention #blood mention #Nakahara Chuuya #nakahara chuuya x reader #nakahara chuuya angst #nakahara chuuya x you #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai x yn #dazai x you #dazai angst #osamu dazai angst #osamu dazai x reader

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straymackerel · 4 years

Note

Could I get some headcannons of chuuya and dazai with an s/o in their final semester as an animation student? S/o has been working for what feels like forever to finish her final film, and is super excited to show chuuya/dazai the finished project. Bonus points if when the little showing is finished, they go to ask questions or congratulate s/o only to find her out cold after several weeks of not enough sleep.

➽─{dawww ~ love the showing idea, i assumed it would take place at school for these hcs}─❥

dazai osamu

• this lazybones procrastinator can’t relate to your work ethic, but definitely admires you for it

• secretly jealous that you’re so passionate about your work and 👉👈 hopes to learn from you tbh

• also a little jealous of how your animation project is stealing you away from him

• dazai often checks up on you in silence, opening your door just a crack to see how you’ve progressed

• he can’t cook for shit but he’ll get you your favorite takeout on nights where you’re too busy to go out

• begs you to take small breaks once in a while so that 1. he can cuddle with you and 2. you don’t burn out

• he’ll stroke your head and ask you if everything’s going well

• if things are not OK he’ll skip work, not bothering to call his absence in.

• (silences his phone so kunikida’s persistent calls don’t annoy you)

• he makes sure you’re comfortable, fusses over your messy room and offers back rubs

• the two of you become addicted to caffeine for sure. he always makes a pot of coffee/tea in the morning nowadays

• he posts sickingly positive sticky-notes all over your home. (he got atsushi and kenji to help with that)

• then the day of the showing comes..!

• dazai has definitely seen the whole thing already after spying on you so much, but is nonetheless super excited to see it on the big screen.

• jumps up and yells “that’s my sunshine’s work! hey, eyes on the screen, my best friend made that!!!” as soon as your project lights up

• he makes the loudest applause you have ever heard from a single person

• (he’s also big on whistling and hollering, gotta make as much noise as possible for babs 💕💕)

• dazai lines up a slew of self-deprecating compliments to give you, but your exhausted body lays unmoving on the stairs backstage

• he puts your head in his lap, covers you with his coat, and just lovingly watches you until you wake up (even if it takes hours).

chuuya nakahara

• the way that you throw yourself into your work makes him love you even more

• the two of you are stuck in some kinda feedback loop limbo where you motivate one another to work even harder

• the drawback is that, since his own schedule is packed, you see each other even less than originally thought possible

• workaholics unite! (and enable each other hehe)

• chuuya has to get kouyou to cover for his duties once in a while so he can take care of you

• he’ll draw you a bath and get you anything you need. literally anything.

• will most definitely buy you the latest tech if that’s what you need to make this project happen

• or if you want it just to have it, because that’s pretty much the same thing to him

• he keeps the drinking to a minimum which takes a LOT of effort on his part; he wants to make sure he’s not a distraction 🥺🥺

• when he’s too busy to help out, you have a personal food delivery driver at your beck and call. order whatever you want!

• chuuya sends supportive text messages and reminders to eat/drink from work

• on the night of the showing he flaunts his cooking skills, whipping up red wine braised beef (or a similar drunken alternative if that isn’t your thing, just let him use alcohol pleaseee)

• busts out a bottle of bubbly of course

• makes sure not to drink so much that he’s watching your final film drunk

• absolutely adores the results of your work!!! jumps to his feet at the end of it

• wants to shower you with kisses asap and ask you how the hell you managed to pull off such a feat~

• overall just swelling with pride and resisting the urge to l e v i t a t e over to you

• chuuya’s a little tipsy when he finds you fast asleep in one of your classrooms

• he lifts you up bridal style to the car, doing everything to make sure you don’t wake up.

• he also brought you flowers and chocolates, but they’ll be on your nightstand in the morning ❤️

#bsd x reader #bsd x reader hcs #bsd headcanons #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya hcs #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai hcs #bsd hcs

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soukokuwu · 4 years

Note

Hi, this is my first time requesting from you, but if it's not too much to request may I request how Dazai and/or Gogol to their s/o being a huge fan of baking sweets so there is always a ton of sweets for them please??? thank you!!! ;w;

➤ hiiii thanks for requesting ^.^ i hope you like them anony~

➤ characters: dazai, nikolai

s/o who loves baking sweets

his desk is now full of sweets and confectionery because of you. you always give him more than he can eat in one day so they sort of just pile up on his table. some are even pouring over to atsushi’s side, not that he can say anything.

he used to always hoard them for himself but once it got too much he naturally shares and gives them out to people in the office.

dazai gets bored in the office so after a while he starts looking up recipes of sweets he might want to try and asks you to bake them for him. of course he gets carried away and now you end up with a whole cookbook of sweets he might like. but fair enough, you love baking and he’s giving you more chances to do that.

plus you’ve been complaining that he’s thin as a stick and so you try to feed him more and more each day. in his own words, “you’re stuffing me like a bear, my belladonna.”

sometimes dazai’s in the kitchen with you trying to help you since he’s so bored out of his mind most times. but he’s more of a hindrance than a help. think accidentally dropping egg shells in the batter and accidentally putting salt in place of sugar. but you’re so entertained that you don’t mind. wholesome days like these can be very rare after all.

loves most of what you bake for him. he’s fairly picky so you always try to choose something he might like. he’ll tell you when he doesn’t though, he knows if he doesn’t you’ll just assume he does and make a whole weeks’ worth.

doesn’t share with others. dos and sigma who? he’ll just keep the stash of sweets in his coat, away from prying hands. your baking tastes so good he doesn’t want anyone else to get it, only him.

steals buys you anything you need for the kitchen. new equipment? some ingredients? he’ll make sure you’re stocked up well. though sometimes when you shop with him you realise that he’s stealing and... you become his accomplice.

he doesn’t help in the kitchen though, because he prefers to watch as you bake. well, he does help a little, whenever you’re finding for something he takes it to you with his ability. whisk? baking soda? eggs? he’s got you.

although sometimes he’s cheeky and starts using his ability to tickle you right as you’re about to crack some eggs. you get him back by throwing it at him. and that’s how your baking sessions turn into a food fight.

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unloved-cadillac · 3 years

Note

Hi! Recently discovered your blog and big fan! Can I request dazai pining after a new doctor (actual doctor no super ability) and he remembered seeing her back in his mafia days and just absolutely flustered over her. Idk why he left the mafia (just finished season 1) but can we let the reader be somewhat of the goodness he sees in the world that made him leave that. I'd live it if you could include a happy ending with out innocent and warm reader. Stay hydrated much love to you!

C/n: hi there! Thank you so much for the compliment. I really appreciate it. I didn’t put any season two spoilers here so it’s a safe fic. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

Healing Love. (Dazai x Reader)

The news was such a joy to the ADA. To get a new doctor meant that they wouldn’t have to endure Yosano’s...ways of healing them.

“Finally, sir. I’ve been needing an extra pair of hands.” Yosano sighs as she crosses her arms. “Yeah and we’ve been needing a new way to not get molested while receiving help.” Junichiro grumbles while recalling his recovery. Yosano raises her hand to slap him but gets interrupted when the door opens.

A beautiful, young woman on a white coat stands next to Fukuzawa. Her h/c locks tied up in a neat bun with beautiful earrings. “Everyone, meet Dr Y/n L/n.” Fukuzawa introduces her and Dazai turns around shocked. ‘Y/n..’

“Hi everyone. I can’t wait to get to know all of you.” She smiles and waves and everyone walks to her introducing themselves. Dazai just say down and thought. “Not gonna say hi?” Kunikida asks and Dazai doesn’t answer. Y/n smiles and laughs at the members as she shows them her bag and Yosano drags her to her working area where she would be sharing with Y/n. It’s been so long since Dazai had seen her...

*flashback*

Dazai stood outside the nurse’s office as he waited for his partner. “Ow! Y/n, goddamn.” He hears Chuuya whine in pain and then followed by a beautiful giggle. “Sorry, Chuuya. I did say it would sting, didn’t I?” Dazai smiled to himself as he listened to her. Her voice gave him some sort of comfort and tranquility tha he hadn’t felt in all of his life.

The door opens to reveal a patched up Chuuya holding his hat and jacket. “Thanks again, Y/n.” “No problem, Chuuya.” She says and looks at Dazai. “Hi, Dazai.” She waves and Dazai smiles. “Hey.” He mumbles and quickly walks away with a terrible red blush. Chuuya snickers and looks back at her. “So flustered for a suicidal maniac, huh?” Y/n laughs and watches Dazai’s retreating figure.

When he saw her for the last time, a lot had happened. He was sitting on the bed while Y/n stitched his arm up after a bullet grazed him. She didn’t say anything and neither did he. His feelings for her grew over time and Y/n felt the same. But their job was so dangerous and Dazai couldn’t put her in the position to worry over him. She tied the thread and snipped the extra bit before placing a bandage over it.

“It’s alright now.” She whispers and he nods. Dazai puts on his jacket. Before he leaves, he turns and looks at her. Y/n was already watching him with a soft smile trying to make him feel at ease. It did. He did feel warm whenever he saw her smile and he knew he wouldn’t feel that same feeling after today.

He opened the door and left, never to be seen or heard from again. And that broke Y/n.

*end*

Dazai watched her talk with Atsushi while she prepared some tea. “Oh yeah. Dazai is great. He was the one who helped me into the Agency.” He saw her freeze when Atsushi said his name. “Dazai? Dazai Osamu?” She whispers and Atsushi nods. “Oh! You didn’t meet him yet. There he is. Come, I’ll introduce you to him.” Atsushi takes her hand and leads her to Dazai where he sat by his table.

Y/n’s breath caught in her throat. This..really was Dazai. Still with the bandages but at least it didn’t cover his eye anymore. He wore brighter colors and seemed so much better than how he was.

“D-Dazai?” She stutters as he gets up and walks to her. “Hello, Y/n. Missed me?” Atsushi looked back and forth between the pair, confused. “Do you guys already know each other or something?” He asks and Y/n nods her head. “Something like that. Atsushi, leave us please.” Dazai says with a stern voice. One Atsushi hasn’t heard for all the time he has been here. But Y/n had. All those years ago in the Mafia.

When Atsushi left, his gaze softened at her. His hand reached and move a stray hair behind her ear. “Dazai.” She breathes and he smiles. “I missed you too.” “Where did you go? Why did you leave us? Why did you leave me?” Dazai sighed and held her hand in his. “I needed to change, Y/n. I couldn’t go on with those killings anymore. And also, because of you.” Y/n eyes widen. “Me?”

“Yes. You were so sweet to me. Kind to everyone and you never once turned down a patient no matter who they were. Your father was the leader of one of the most dangerous mobs out there yet you were the goodness that he never had. I love you, Y/n. I still do. But I had to change in order to be your man.”

Y/n smiles widely and leaped into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly. “I love you, Dazai. I always have.” Dazai pulled away and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. “You know I kinda already knew, right?” She says and Dazai tilts his head. She doesn’t say anything and he groans when he realizes.

“Chuuya.”

~~~~

Now that they were together, Dazai couldn’t leave Y/n alone. He was always with her. By her desk, her nursing office or just standing behind her. Kunikida and Atsushi groan whenever they see him kiss Y/n or say something. Not that it wasn’t nice, it just proved how wiped he was for her.

“I can’t believe that you kept the bandages, Zai.”

“Well, you can always take them off, Y/n. They’re for your eyes only, ya know?”

Kunikida takes his Ideal and gets ready to throw it when Atsushi just gently puts his hand down. Dazai deserved this happiness. Just as much as they deserved each other.

——————————————————————————

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #dazai oneshot #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #bsd anime #bsd #bsd imagines

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charmspoint · 3 years

Note

Cuz you said people like fuckin up Chuuya, how about Chuuya and hugs or something like that? Give the guy a break

No 6! Anon one man chuuya protection army. This is a lil piece for Kouyou and Chuuya cuz me and Foxy were just talking about how they dont get any bonding time and how thats such a fuckin shame

“Stop messing with it!”

“I’m only messing with it because you can’t keep it in order, lad.”

“It’s in order, it’s fine, don’t lick it back!”

Kouyou sighed in exasperation as Chuuya dodged another one of her attempts to help smooth out the awkward ends of his hair. It had been a few months since Chuuya had joined the Port Mafia and Kouyou was proving to be as valuable of a mentor as annoying of an older sister she was.

Chuuya’s idea of growing out his hair was in no way influenced by the admiration towards her raw coldness in the face of the enemy. It was just a coincidence and an irritation now that his hair was in that awkward stage where it wasn’t short and it wasn’t long and it simply looked bad.

“If you would let me tie it up-“

“It would look stupid!”

“Don’t interrupt me, Chuuya.” She scolded him, smoothing out his hair despite his protests and adjusting his hat the proper way.

He felt the need to crook it to the side just to be contrary but he wasn’t that much of a brat.

“Mhm,” she said, leaning her head into her hand as she observed him, “I’ve done good work, you look so dashing.”

He stuck his tongue out at her and then immediately retracted it back in when she gave him a look. When he was placed under Kouyou, Chuuya had expected combat lessons for sure. As one of the Port Mafia’s executives, Kouyou was a force to be reckoned with and even though their abilities differed quite a bit, Chuuya still found himself learning a lot from her.

What he didn’t expect was for her to throw out his raggedy hoodies and get him a whole new wardrobe consisting of suits and coats. One must dress for their part, she said, and Chuuya no longer played the role of a king to a small gang of street rats. He was now a member of the Port Mafia, gunning for the executive position in the race against Dazai, so he couldn’t dress like he just got out of a street scuffle.

It had been odd, to see himself for the first time dressed like that. He could hardly recognize the boy dressed in such smart, clean lines, looking every bit of a dignified adult Chuuya’s own boiling blood couldn’t quite mimic yet. That was the first time he felt like he was staring at something looking suspiciously like a future.

Kouyou had dressed him, trained him and then spent hours plucking away at his manners. It didn’t make Chuuya any less crude or quick to lash out but it taught him fail safes and reliable scripts, things he could use to dampen his ill nature before he fully got control of it.

He was the clay and Kouyou was a sculpture, helping him become the most polished version of himself he could be.

“Run along now, Dazai will be waiting.”

“Don’t say it like we’re running out to play on the street or something.” He scoffed, but let Kouyou straighten out his coat one last time, letting her pull him into a quick hug before bolting out the door to meet with Dazai.

He didn’t think he would ever be able to repay her for all she had done for him.

#lucy does a write #drabble prompts #anon #bungou stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #kouyou ozaki

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our-wargame · 3 years

Text

when you say nothing at all

Summary: Dazai isn't called a genius for nothing. No one can self-sabotage better than he can.

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Minor Characters, Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs) Rating: M (to be safe. In reality it’s T except for the swearing and references to sexual stuff but there’s no actual sexual content) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Developing Relationship, Trust Issues, Slice of Life, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, Self-Worth Issues, References of Sexual Content, As in 0 sex happening, although not for lack of trying on Dazai's part, That's Also His Biggest Mistake, I HATE THAT TAG BUT THAT IS THE FIC, Dazai's pretty trash but his greatest accomplishment, was getting Odasaku to love him Word Count: 2500 Notes:

co-written with SwordintheThrone (they have some ridiculously good shit, check em out.).

can be read on ao3

reblogs are appreciated ty

---

It's a shame that he has commitment issues, Dazai muses to himself. Because Odasaku isn't just the best fuck of his life, Odasaku is good to him.

Too good to him.

That's most of the problem. Odasaku will look at him, expression so gentle, so brilliantly sweet and patient and trusting, as if he doesn't think Dazai will rip him apart at the first sign he sees that as necessary. (Still, sometimes Dazai can stand it. Sometimes he even gives into it and the peace that comes with it hurts like a hell he could learn to adore.)

Is this self-sabotage? He doesn't know. And he's still fucking trash for pushing the issue away and ignoring it as he sends Odasaku a text to ask him if he's still not busy tonight.

Odasaku replies within the hour. I'm not, he confirms. Can I come over?

Dazai tries not to laugh, self-deprecatingly amused rather than annoyed at Odasaku's attempt to save him face. He's not that proud, he really isn't.

He imagines if Odasaku were here, he'd tell Dazai that it has nothing to do with that. That Odasaku really does just want to spend time with him, and that's why during their last encounter, Odasaku casually, lightly mentioned the fact that he was free for the next week. Should they want to do anything.

It is self-sabotage, Dazai comes to decide. Because no matter what Odasaku's intents were, Odasaku is going to end up in Dazai's bed, because Dazai desires it. And then Dazai won't be able to fool himself into either deciding the reason for this outcome is because Odasaku thinks Dazai knows himself well enough to make the right decision, or that Odasaku wants to give Dazai the choice to make bad ones.

Both options are better than thinking Odasaku just wants to fuck him. If he minded, which he doesn't, it'd be his own fault too. Everyone knows that you start texts with can we talk and not are you busy unless you want to bang.

Dazai closes his eyes, already tired of himself, even without having to pretend around Odasaku. He thinks about calling it off but that's rude and it'd make him look weak and it's all a lot more troublesome than going through with what he has so far. It's freezing but somehow, the heater is the one thing he doesn't have the energy to bother with as heg gets off his ass to fix up the apartment. He turns the TV on, keeps the volume nice and low on that channel that only replays old movies. Neither of them are wine people but that's what you're supposed to have for these kinds of occasions, aren't you? So he leaves a half empty bottle of sake on the coffee table. Lounges on the couch as he sips from his glass.

How classy is he.

A knock at the door. Odasaku knows it's already open and only does it to alert Dazai. But he still waits outside until Dazai calls, "Come in." It's so unnecessarily considerate of him, Dazai shivers. And hates Odasaku a little bit, even as he thinks about pushing Odasaku against the door and kissing the gentleman right out of him.

"Hey," Odasaku says as he closes the door behind him gently. He smells like takeout. Looks as rugged and handsome as ever. Dazai wants him so badly.

He moves his eyes to the TV as he puts down his glass so he can refill it. His hands are shaking, fuck. "Day go okay?"

"Yeah." Dazai listens for the sound of fabric shifting, Odasaku hanging his coat up on the hat rack. Soft steps signal Odasaku having taken off his shoes and switched them for slippers, walking light out of habit so they don't clack against the tiled floor. "And yours?"

Dazai's half-distracted with trying to remember the last time they had sex for fun instead of thinking he needed Oda's body to make his own shut up. "It went okay," he replies to Odasaku, and it's a miracle he doesn't add, 'it's about to get better, I think.'

That would just be tacky.

He shifts on the couch, still a little chilly, but trying to signal Odasaku should come closer.

"I brought you curry. And soup in case it's too spicy. Can I put it in the microwave?"

Dazai blinks. His mouth starts curving up. "Odasaku, has anyone told you you're too polite."

"You probably haven't eaten." Odasaku easily ignores his teasing jab, placing the takeout on the kitchen counter but not quite walking behind it. "It's crab soup."

He hasn't eaten and yeah, he's a little hungry, and of course Odasaku knows all of this and brought him his favorite. But he doesn't like to eat before sex. It just makes him feel bloated and a little repulsed by himself.

Crab doesn't go with sake, he could try, only it does. He could try 'not in the mood for curry or crab', only Odasaku will probably ask him if it's okay to take a look at his fridge and make him something.

"I'm not hungry." He sips at his glass again. Isn't alcohol supposed to make you feel warmer? "Can I have a kiss?" He wants Oda's tongue burning up his mouth, wants Oda pinning him down and chasing the darkness out of him. It's a stupid thought. He humors it and waits for a reaction from underneath his lashes.

Odasaku's surprise is practically audible in the silence. Dazai starts to move over so the length of his gangly body stretches across the couch, then puts his elbows on the armrest and props his head up to watch Odasaku. Please?

Odasaku closes in slowly, but Dazai finds himself holding his breath, nervous anyways. He can feel his heart in his throat, feels it pulse when Odasaku bends down, warm hand sliding up Dazai's face, cupping his chin. Dazai tilts it up as his eyes fall closed.

And then his breath catches, when Odasaku kisses his forehead instead.

He blinks and Odasaku's already straightening. Retreating to give Dazai space.

"Odasaku...." That's not what he wanted, but-

Odasaku prods his elbow and Dazai takes the cue, pulling his limbs back and sitting up straight. Odasaku takes a seat besides him, their shoulders a couple of inches from touching. Looks at the TV as he says, "Can I hold you for a bit?"

He has to think about this one. Says, "okay," even as he thinks about how he doesn't really want to be touched, at least not if it isn't Odasaku pushing Dazai onto his back.

Odasaku shifts his weight forwards so he's sitting on the edge of the couch and able to comfortably reach for the coffee table. He pushes Dazai's glass inwards- farther from Dazai- and then picks up the remote. When he readjusts his sitting position again, he's still sitting a few meaningful inches away from Dazai. And now he's left his arm stretching over the top of the couch.

It's such a date move, except it's them. Odasaku is doing this for Dazai.

He hates Odasaku a little more in the moment. He hates feeling inconvenient, because it's a reminder he cares about what Odasaku thinks. The desperation of his attachment- he's so fucking weak, it's pathetic. God, he disgusts himself.

"Are you getting enough sleep?" Odasaku asks. Dazai is still leaning away from his arm, but he's not breathing as hard and so he supposes, this is good.

"No." He hasn't. Before they started their arrangement, Dazai would have answered that with a smirk, an 'is Odasaku coming on to me or am I still daydreaming?'

The stunt actors throwing themselves across the TV screen are alright. If this were also back then, Dazai would poke Odasaku, tease and bet that he could do it better. Oda would consider it in his seriousness and Ango would scold them both into the next year. Everything's different now and he's not sure if he likes it or loathes it, even though having to ask himself which one it is, is pretty determining.

Five minutes is how long it takes for him to finally calm down, enough to shift and holds himself against Odasaku's side. Odasaku radiates warmth. The rise and fall of his chest is steady. Dazai tries to ignore it. His neck prickles.

Some more minutes trickle by before Odasaku murmurs, "Can I take you to bed?"

"No," Dazai blurts out immediately, because he understands what Oda is saying, but the answer is no because it'd stress him out, be even worse than the little fiasco going on right now. He'd have to try and force himself to sleep around someone who should be a source of comfort and failing that would just be gloriously useless of him-

"Okay." Odasaku says, gentle. "No worries." A pause. "Would it help to invite Ango over?"

Dazai breathes. It would. He can put on a front if it's for people, if it's for friends. It's harder to put on a show if it's for individual people; he has to make sure their gears mesh together but they're so damn complicated. Odasaku more so, than most.

"We should drag him out of the house a little more."

Dazai opens his mouth. It's not you, he wants to say, urgent, needy for someone else to know what he does. Odasaku, you're not the one making me uncomfortable, it's me.

"Maybe you can teach us how to make hot pot?"

Dazai wants to yell. Fall apart out loud for a change. They're monsters, not shadow puppets on the wall, and they don't go away when the sun comes up or what their parents say it's bedtime, for real this time. Oda's trying too hard, and it aggravates him.

Odasaku can't wrap his arms around him and make him okay. That's never going to be him. He's afraid that Odasaku still doesn't know that, and he doesn't know what Odasaku will do when he really, really understands this. Even if Odasaku doesn't leave, Dazai can't stand the thought of Odasaku suddenly thinking less of him. It'll be just like losing him.

"Dazai?"

He shakes himself out of it. "Yeah. Call him." He pauses. "Can I have the crab soup after all?" He's still not completely ready to hug it out with the idea of eating, but it'll give him something to do.

Oda rises. Dazai stares at the grace, the strength in the lovely curve of his back. He feels cold all over again.

Oda glances over and holds his hand out. Dazai stares at it for a second before he lets Oda lead them away, carrying the two empty glasses with him in his free hand. Dazai pulls away to work on transferring the takeout into bowls to send them off to the microwave while Oda runs the glasses under tap water, swishing the residue round and round before drinking it down and then washing them clean.

The smell of reheated curry overpowers the room. Oda watches Dazai drop into a chair and then watches Dazai plop spoonfuls of curry rice into his soup, stirring this way and that.

"Did you know," Odasaku says, and Dazai looks up at him. "You have happy-cat face."

Dazai sputters. "I'm sorry, I have what?"

"Happy-cat face."

"Odasaku," He purses his lips, but he can't stop his shoulders from shaking. "Odasaku, that's not a thing."

Odasaku keeps his gaze, the slightest rise of his eyebrow explaining yes it is because you have it.

"You're so silly. Did you know that?"

Odasaku hums. When he dials Ango, he places his phone on the dinner table. Dazai's eyes gleam as he shouts like he's from the next city over.

"Oh my god," Ango's voice is very grumbly. "Odasaku-san, please remove me, I think he broke my ear."

Oda turns off loudspeaker and brings the phone against his ear. "So when are you coming over?"

"Ugh, give a man twenty-minutes. I still have work to do."

Dazai throws himself into Oda's side, squashing his face against Oda's other cheek as he chirps, "Tell him all work and no play makes Ango grouchy. And that he has old-man energy."

"Tell Dazai-kun, I think his Brat Card should have an expiration date."

"Tell Ango, there isn't an expiration date on fun~"

"Tell Dazai-kun-"

Oda disentangles himself from his executive, passing him the phone and letting them go at it. Dazai sits back down, adjusting himself so he can bring his knees up to his chest and leave his feet on the chair seat. Even as he chatters away, he keeps his eyes on Oda, who moves to wash out the takeout containers. He reuses everything because he's an environmental dork. Dazai would be more of one if he wasn't interested in dying before the planet. Still, watching Oda so patient, quietly determined to withstand the overpowering...it makes Dazai soften.

"Hey, is Odasaku-san still there?"

"Nope." Dazai says, popping the p. "Odasaku is busy. Being perfect."

"Yeah, yeah. Why don't you two just get married already? Make it official and everything."

He doesn't recover as quickly as he'd have liked. "Ango, weddings are not good places to pick-up women. They're all crazy. And non-sober. And crazy. We'll find you your little lady elsewhere, don't you worry." He watches Odasaku shake off the excess water into the sink, wiping the counter dry and putting the containers to the side. Then he dries his hands, he drifts over to the living room and picks up the remote.

"Ha. Not that I wouldn't reject your delightful request to be your best-man, but are two groomsmen allowed to be each other's best man? I think so."

"Has anyone ever tell you not to drink on the job, Ango?"

"Speaking of which, you'll have alcohol waiting for me, right? I had to train a new accountant today. If it was there, you would have fainted from the painfulness."

"Delightful. So. How much longer?" He'd really like for there to be someone other than Odasaku around him.

"That depends. I don't want to walk in on you two fucking."

Dazai sighs into the receiver. "It's not my fault. Odasaku has a really nice dick."

He can practically hear Ango roll his eyes. "Don't expect me anytime soon then."

"So. Fifteen minutes?"

"Yeah, alright. See you dumbasses then."

There's no immediate beep! Ango is waiting, letting him end the call. Dazai shakes his head. His friends are really something.

Odasaku keeps flicking through the TV channels, only looking up when Dazai leans over the couch from behind, gently resting his chin on the top of Odasaku's head.

"Hi."

"Odasaku's hair is really soft."

"Thank you."

"Odasaku smells very nice. Like mango-watermelon. And curry."

"Thank you." Oda sits very still so he can hand Dazai the remote without jolting him. "What do you want to watch?"

Dazai breathes. In, out. "Anything is fine."

#odazai #my writing

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straycat-writes · 4 years

Text

jaaneman // जानेमन // جان ِ من (nakahara chuuya)

jaaneman // जानेमन // جان ِ من (persian, n.) - “soul of me” or “life of me”; gender-neutral word for sweetheart or darling

requested by: anonymous

notes: post-corruption conversations, in honour of chuuya’s birthday. and also because i was supposed to have written this ages ago. not proof read because i’m lazy and tired.

When Chuuya woke up, he was disoriented for a while. Every bone in his body screamed in agony, and his quickened breaths made it feel like he might as well be swallowing crushed glass. There was a pounding ache in his skull that dimmed all other sensations in comparison, and for a moment, he wished he would just lose consciousness again.

He knew he wouldn’t, though. This wasn’t the first time this was happening, and although it was every bit as shitty as every time else, at least he knew what to expect. His senses were out of focus, the sounds of his surroundings only incomprehensible static, while his eyes registered vague blurs of movement.

He blinked once, then twice, then several times before he could finally focus.

“You’re awake.” She murmured, and Chuuya heard the smile of relief in her voice before he saw it.

She was sitting beside him on the bed, knees drawn up to her chin. Slowly putting her hand on one of his limp cold ones, she smiled wearily. She looked tired, and he wondered how long she had been sitting there. He wanted to say something to reassure her, but his throat felt too scratchy to speak. He tried to sit up slowly, but his stomach suddenly clenched violently.

He shot out of bed, despite every single muscle in his body pleading in protest, and ran into the bathroom at record speed. As he hurled up the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl, he heard her rush into the bathroom after him. She sighed, before coming to crouch down beside him, holding back his hair as he retched some more.

Chuuya heaved for what felt like minutes before he finally slumped back down onto the floor. Wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, he leaned his head back and closes his eyes.

“Feel better?” she asked softly, brushing some strands of his hair out of his eyes, and he wondered if he should tell her that she was miserably failing to hide the concern in her eyes.

“Not…really.” The two words took immense effort for him to get out. His voice sounded scratchy, though from disuse or from the vomit, he couldn’t tell. “How long was I out for?”

“A couple of days, give or take.” She replied.

He lightly rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Jesus…”

A vague sequence of events was reconstructing itself in Chuuya’s dazed mind. Despite his explicit threats, he was sure Dazai must have left him after he passed out, right where they ha faced that Lovecraftian monstrosity, and Mori, knowing Dazai better than anyone, must have sent someone to retrieve Q and Chuuya.

“Mori-san had me dropped right back home?”

“Along with your coat.” She shrugged, “You did tell him you don’t like hospitals, after all.”

Chuuya got up on unsteady feet, shakily making his way towards the sink. That was true, he hated hospitals. But it wasn’t her job to clean up after his mess either. He could only imagine what it must have been like for her, being handed his broken and bloodied body and asked to keep him alive.

Speaking of, there was not a spot of blood on him now. Chuuya felt a pang of guilt, as he imagined her all alone with his unconscious body, scrubbing the blood from his clothes and desperately trying to hold him together. He knew he wouldn’t have died, but that did not make it any less damaging.

He got out of the bathroom after cleaning himself up, still swaying slightly on his feet. She had gone to fetch him a towel, which she handed to him now.

He sighed, slumping back down at the edge of the bed, elbows propped on his knees, both hands supporting his still aching head, “…I’m sorry.”

She raised a confused eyebrow, “What for?”

“This.” He gestured vaguely around himself, “Everything. This shouldn’t be your problem.”

“Come on,” she rolled her eyes, coming to sit beside him “You know it’s not like that.”

“No? You must have been scared.”

She sighed deeply, then leaned slightly sideways, resting her head on his shoulder. Chuuya could tell she was just as exhausted as he was.

“I was…” she admitted, “I always am, every time you use corruption. But what am I supposed to do about it, Chuuya? I cannot just up and leave.”

His heart thudded once in his chest, “Why not?”

She laughed lightly, but then stopped when she looked up at his face, “Oh, you’re being serious? You have got to be kidding me. Why do you think, dimwit?”

He didn’t reply, just looking at her with wide, questioning blue eyes.

She sighed, averting her gaze, before she finally murmured, “Because I love you…What do I have to do to get you to believe that?”

Chuuya’s heart swelled slightly in his chest. He did believe her. There was not a doubt in his mind that she loved him. He was just afraid that she might love him a little too much.

He placed one hand on her cheek lightly, dipping to place a short, chaste kiss on her lips, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Neither do I deserve you.” She laughed lightly, “Guess we’ll both just have to settle.”

Chuuya smiled. He loved that about her. She never let him say anything negative about himself, always turning his words around until they sounded…merrier somehow. Chuuya was…rough around the edges, and even though he was very much alive and burning with life and power, he always felt as if there was something missing without her by his side.

“Are you hungry?” she asked after a while, “I can fix something for you.”

“Nah, don’t bother.” He waved a hand, “I’ll probably just throw it back up.”

That was just another one of the many post-corruption side-effects, but Chuuya was used to it. Nevertheless, she stood up.

“Then I’ll make you some chamomile tea, that might help settle your stomach. How does that sound?”

He smiled, “Lovely. Thank you, love.”

She smiled, bending down to kiss his cheek once, before leaving. Chuuya watches her retreating figure, head swarming with a million thoughts.

He goes on a lot of overseas missions, for some reason, Mori-san prefers him for that job. Just last month, he went to some central Asian country, which might be an odd thing for him to remember right at that moment, except he remembered that people there called their loved ones ‘jaaneman’, which literally means ‘soul of me’.

Even back when he had first heard it, the term had reminded him of her. But right now, he quite literally felt their weight. Soul of me. It was true. If Chuuya was the fire, the life inside of a body, she was the soul.

Each time he used corruption, he felt hollower than the last time, like something had just been taken from him. His only solace was to crawl back into her arms, because no matter how bloodied or broken, he knew she would always take care of him. Because she made the emptiness go away.

How fitting, he thought with a rueful smile, he was only alive until his soul refused to leave him. And luckily, she was holding on tight. He loved her, so much more than his own life, so much more than he could ever put into words. He sighed, getting up and swaying slightly,

“Chuuya ~” he heard her call from the kitchen, “Come, your tea is getting cold.”

Despite the ache permeating every inch of his body, a small smile tugged at his lips. “Coming.”

#nakahara chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #one shot #scenario #post corruption #fluff #kind of #bsd #imagines #prompt #jaaneman #straycat's 1k follower celebration

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