#Being all 'I work two jobs and still find time and I get exhausted sometimes too'

[ninjaliike]

can't believe i missed our 6th birthday here! damn ... time flies, eh? ❤️

[0last-ditch-effort0]

I know I'm supposed to be good and gracious and kind but yaknow what? Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish ableists would develop disabilities-chronic fatigue and pain and migraines and the rest of it- and I wanna give em a lick of what they gave me. How does it feel, to be told your best isn't good enough? That you're not trying hard enough? You can break your back and it'll never be enough to please me. Get a taste of your own fucking medicine

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* The mating habits of Yandere! Animal-Human Monsters

Yandere!Monster men who sometimes forget that their poor darling is a human and misinterprets their actions when it comes to mating. Short drabbles about yanderes trying to seduce their darlings, but the list gets progressively darker the further down you read.

*Warning* dub-con, non-con, yandere possessiveness, dead dove

Yandere!Crow Harpy who was a little disappointed when you refused to move out of your house. You didn't understand why the feathered man seemed so infatuated with you, but after a long while of him begging you to move in with him you agreed, only on the condition that he moved into your home. It wasn't a traditional harpy relationship, but he was ecstatic regardless, deciding that if he couldn't build a nest with you he could at least win your favor as a perfect mate by decorating it. It got on your nerves sometimes, coming home from work to find shiny bits of trash and feathers tucked into every nook and cranny of your home. Eventually the two of you created a list of acceptable "treasure" to bring home, and what you considered to be actual garbage. He spent weeks "decorating" your already furnished house, before one day pulling you into the living room where he had piled every blanket and pillow you owned into a makeshift nest on the floor. His smile was insecure, desperate for your approval as he wrapped you into his large wings, holding you tightly against his warm body before sinking down into the mass of fluffy objects. You could hear his heart hammering against his chest erratically as he gently began placing kisses against your collar.

"I wanted to help build a home with you, so it wasn't yours or mine, but ours. I pray that my attempts to prove I'll keep you and our future children comfortable impressed you..."

Yandere!Merman who couldn't help but feel awestruck by your beauty, often going on long rants about how much you inspire him. It was a chance encounter while you were studying abroad, and you grew emotionally attached to the beautiful man who sang you words of praise. Although he whined whenever you had to leave the beach, the bags under his eyes became deeper as the weeks went on, chronic exhaustion taking it's toll on the merman. Whenever you tried to convince him that his sleep was important, he would only give a dopey smile, responding cryptically about how his secret project was just as important as spending time with you, and that he would have time to sleep once it was all over. One day when you arrived on the beach he was already there, shaking with excitement and impatiently trying to drag you into the ocean before you could get on your snorkeling gear. Deep where the sun barely touched, a huge intricate mural was sculpted into the ocean floor. As your eyes widened in an attempt to take in just how massive the artwork was, following each perfectly symmetrical swirl, two strong arms snaked around your waist with a tired, yet content, sigh. He blew words into your ear that you were somehow able to understand despite the water, as he sunk with you into the middle of the circular masterpiece.

"You take my breath away every time we meet, and I wanted to do the same for you. Please say that, if you could, you would lie here in my arms forever.."

Yandere!Puppy-Hybrid who was always just a ball of energy, a hyperactive sweet heart who couldn't sit still when he was awake. Most of your days together, it was easy to forget that he could even have urges, with how innocent your relationship was, kisses and cuddles but nothing more. As a species who had mating cycles, although he would never tell you out loud, he was always waiting for you to go into heat. But it was taking so long! He did such a good job being a patient boy for you, you didn't even know why he was being so whiny lately, attributing his neediness to his attention seeking personality. But eventually, he took your phone to do some research. At first he was shocked, humans didn't have mating cycles?? How did you know when it was time to make a baby? Then he came across an amazing discovery. Ovulation. It took a couple of months, holding your belly to his face and breathing deeply for a couple of minutes each day, but he finally learned the subtle changes in your scent throughout your cycle. You had no idea what was going on, thinking he was just being extra goofy lately, until he refused to let go one day, tightening his grasp as his breathing turned into heavy pants, grinding your leg in between his.

"Ah.. you can't hide it from me.. I've been waiting for this for so long... Please don't say no..."

Yandere!Humanoid Spider who always did his best to never frighten you. Even when you first met, it was with him holding his hands up and pleading for you not to run away from him in a soothing voice. Despite the lower half of the creature you met in the forest being a giant spider, the top half was such a kind and handsome man that you quickly began to trust him, soon considering him to be a good friend. He was so thoughtful, always raising his hands as a show of surrender, whether he was approaching you from afar and didn't want to startle you or if you were jokingly fighting over something silly. Even amongst humans, he was the one you trusted the most. If you had known anything about spiders though, you would have been more on guard with his overt displays of feebleness, especially after he began telling you how beautiful you were. You didn't even fight back at first when he suddenly grabbed you from, until he bit into your neck. The kind man, no, the monster you thought you knew, wasted no time sliding your pants down as he still held your backside to his chest, chuckling into your shoulder.

"Ah, my stupid little human~ Were you just pretending to be that naive because you wanted me to take you? ❤️"

Yandere!Naga who couldn't feel love in the same way that humans did. As a researcher working towards her doctorate specializing in Naga people and their many sub species, you were overjoyed to meet a small tribe of Naga men who were willing to allow you to enter their home and record their daily lives. There were so many types of Nagas loosely related to snake species still alive today, and they each had their own cultures, languages, and biology. Based on the coloration you couldn't tell what type these men were, but despite not being fluent in their language they were very kind to you. They seemed to have been in a period of mourning before you arrived, and lavished all their attention on you, babbling on in one sided conversations you could only understand a few words of here and there. One phrase they all stated was flattering only for the first few times they repeated it, but quickly became unnerving as they became more comfortable caressing your face and running their fingers through your hair. And when they pulled you into the center of a giant nest, taking turns thrusting their long tongues down your throat and running their hands over your body, trapping you in a pile of cold men staring deep into your soul with hungry eyes, you learned the species they were closest to.

"We need you... We need you..."

Yandere!Humanoid Scorpion who rescued you after a tourist attraction went arry, promising to protect you until you could be rescued. A strong, bulky man who enjoyed holding you (almost too tightly) in his arms whenever his peers came near. Everything was honestly lovely until in the black of night you were awoken by a strange chorus of sounds echoing outside the burrow the hybrids allowed you to sleep in. A blue light illuminated the large home, and as it noticed you finally woke, approached, revealing himself to be the scorpion man who rescued you, glowing with bioluminescence. Before you could ask what was happening, fear struck you like a bolt of lightening seeing a large, inhuman cock emerging from just below his human half. He lunged forward, and you threw up your hands in self defence. Your hands intertwined with his, fighting against him with all of your strength, but the harder you fought, the more excited he grew. You pushed and pulled, but he didn't loosen his hold on you. Eventually it seemed he had enough playing, and threw you effortlessly onto the bed. Tears streamed down your face at your helplessness, but this only widened his smile as he peeled the shirt off your sweaty body.

"There is no need to fear, my mate. As you can see, no one can match my strength. You and our brood shall be safe under my protection.."

Yandere!Humanoid Waterbug disgusted you, from the twitch of his antenna to the flirtatiousness of his voice. The moment you met him on the water of your lake house, there was no escape. Every time you left or returned back home he was effortlessly skating across the waters surface towards you, begging you to come closer. Although you did your best to ignore him, his loud cries for attention eventually wore you down. Maybe if you entertained him just this once he would leave you alone? You approached him calmly, but as soon as you were within reach he grasped your hands tightly, pulling you partially into the water. He spoke sickly sweet words of affection, chilling you more painfully than the cold morning lake water. You tried to turn him down politely, gently pulling at his grip. He pulled you into the water further, swiftly pushing the two of you away from the shore in one kick of his legs, his unamused gaze no longer holding the playful, flirty gleam it had before. One set of hands held yours tightly, while another pair grabbed your head shoving it without warning under the water. You struggled against his grasp, rapidly losing oxygen as you panicked, black spots filling your vision. But before you lost consciousnesses, he brought you back up, still staring into your eyes with cold fury as your lungs felt like they caught fire. He confessed his love again, but when you began sobbing he thrust you face forward into the water again with a painful smack, holding you down beneath him until stopped struggling. In the air once more, snot flowed and mixed freely with your tears as he aggressively smashed his face into yours, fishing out your tongue and biting it harshly.

"There's only one correct answer to my question, (Reader).. Be mine, or die. If I can't have you, then no one can."

Yandere!Marsupial Hybrid you never saw coming. Lost in the Australian outback, you cursed yourself and your impossibly terrible luck. Hybrids and monsters freely roaming the world were terrifying enough, but being in the land where even the greenery was planted by Satan himself? Your phone had lost it's signal about two hours ago, and your jeep died shortly after that. Trudging along by foot, you continuously felt eyes following your every step, and the fear that a giant spider or monster snake was stalking you made you cry for hours as you walked under the merciless sun. On top of the heat and new blisters forming on your soles, you had to use a restroom as well. Quickly surveying the tall bushes to make sure you weren't about to go next to one of Satan's previously mentioned bushes, you pulled down your shorts in discomfort. The feeling of eyes on you hadn't left since your vehicle randomly gave out despite being double checked before you left the city, but your bladder couldn't care at that moment. A rustle nearby ended your attempt to go before it started, pulling up your shorts so fast it hurt. A hybrid with round ears and a lung brown tail with white spots charged into you, knocking you down. His face was red and slick with tears and sweat, his eyes wide and frantic as he latched his sharp teeth into your neck with excitement. Everything was so fast, with his alternating between feverish rambling and biting into whatever part of your flesh he could reach as he tore off your clothes with a desperation you couldn't comprehend. Tears blended with your own as he kissed, licked and bit every piece of you as he fought your legs open, ignoring your screams of pain.

"You accepted me didn't you?! You knew I chose you! Ah, it hurts! Why'd you put your clothes back o-ah! I need you, I need you now!"

[sistertotheknowitall]

“But to the BatFam? That is just Some Guy. A random dude - if you will.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m missing my spleen.”

“Oh cool, yeah, missing organs suck. I’m missing a kidney and part of my liver. Oh! And my gallbladder but that was more of a necessary evil, it was like, poisoning me or something.” Danny was so focused on applying pressure to his wound (and maybe being a bit too light headed) that he didn’t notice how silent his friend had gotten. Like-wise the comms had gone equally quiet as Gotham’s vigilante family realized that they knew very little about this kid.

It was concerning how quickly they all started to see him as a friend considering it was them as vigilantes he interacted with the most. Tim was the only one who saw him frequently when out of the suit because he was a regular at Danny’s day job. (He worked as a barista in the coffee shop Tim favored.) The others saw him occasionally but more often than not it was just in passing. Steph, Duke, and Dick had to stop themselves from approaching him on the street.

It was odd, one day he had just moved to Gotham, seeming to appear out of nowhere, and then the next he was a constant presence in their lives. Usually armed and ready with a concerning or odd quip, it had started with him being another victim of the city’s petty criminals and had snowballed from there.

Now it wasn’t like the bats saw Danny everyday, but it was expected that he would cross paths with at least three of them before the end of the week. They ran into him more often than any other Gothamite, including the criminals and rouges they fought.

At first the constant meetings by “coincidence” was suspicious. If he wasn’t the one being saved from a mugging, kidnapping, or city wide villain assault, then he was near by and trying to help.

(“Trying to help” usually meant drawing attention to himself so the original victim could escape. Once it had meant Danny armed with a baseball bat against four grown men. Bruce and Dick have tried to talk to him about putting himself in harms way but the kid is surprisingly elusive when he wants to be. Yet, even when avoiding Batman and his eldest, Danny could be found on the patrol route of another family member.)

But honestly? The guy seemed just as exhausted as they were of seeing each other. By the twelfth time in a month, Danny had accused them of stalking him.

The background check Bruce and Tim had run came back clean and he never seemed to be involved in the various criminal activities. He was just there, a weirdly unlucky bystander. So as far as Dick and the others could see, Danny was a completely normal dude. He just said strange things and wasn’t intimidated by them, he actually made it a point to be unhelpful sometimes. When trying to learn his name he gave them the run around for two months. (“I know about stranger danger. I don’t care how often you say you’re the ‘good guys.’ I’m not falling for it.”)

On one memorable occasion Danny had disappeared for a week and a half. When they started to assume the worse, he popped back up behind the counter at work. Tim had relaxed significantly when he entered the shop to Danny organizing pastries in the display case. Once he’d placed his order, the young CEO asked Danny if he’d been on vacation. To which Danny had just sighed and told Tim “I wish, but no I was called to court to handle some affairs I couldn’t get out of.” (After a check to see if Danny had gotten charged with something and coming back empty, Tim had concluded that it was an odd way to say he had had jury duty.)

Thinking about it now, outside a stray comment or two, Danny didn’t talk about himself or his life. They knew he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, “they were much more goal oriented than that joke of a kidnapper, but I think drugs do that to a person.” (It was still unclear if he meant his parents were kidnappers themselves or on drugs.) They knew he had an older sister who would “kill me again if she finds out I was in another bank robbery.” They also knew he was, possibly, depressed after last week’s comment of “is it considered murder if you’re already dead but, like, still alive?” (Damian had saved him from a drug ring but after another “baby ninja” comment the young Robin had threatened to give Danny back to his would-be murderers.)

Dick knew Danny was a weird guy who never wanted to elaborate on the things he said. (Jason was still confused on what he meant by “rotted milk soul.”) That didn’t mean the comments themselves didn’t say a lot about him. And tonight’s comment, accompanied by the prominent and jagged autopsy scars, said more than Danny was probably willing to share.

[gatorlovebot]

nsfw. mdni. this is self indulgent but its my right as a 20 something who is getting ready to move out on their own for the first time to write about landlord john price ok <3

landlord price who buys a nice looking duplex in the city and fixes it up himself. lives in the top floor because he doesn’t need much space to himself and rents out the bottom unit. so far it had mostly been couples or smaller familes renting out the bottom unit, until you came along.

you, who had been saving money to rent something nice for yourself, something with a little extra space. the two bedroom downstairs unit is perfect for you, but you have pretty mixed feelings about your landlord living right above you. until you actually meet him.

upon moving in your greeted by the warm accent of john price. his eyes crinkle when he smiles at you and you can pick out grey hairs in his full beard. it’s so cliche, feeling butterflies for an older man whose kind to you but what are you supposed to do when he offers to help you bring in boxes, muscly arms on full display?

he allows you time and space to get settled in, with a promise of, “i’m just upstairs if you ever need anything.”

you don’t see him for the next few days until there’s a knock at your door and its him, looking soft and sweet in a grey henley, just in time for the colder fall weather. “would you care to join me for dinner? i tried a new soup recipe and seems like a i have enough to feed a small army.”

and that’s how you end up in his space for the first time. it’s tiday yet lived in. furniture dark and worn. you can tell a man lives here. dinner is nice, soup rich and filling. but john makes it so much better. effortlessly making you laugh with his bad jokes and stories. he’s warm and personable. your little crush grows when he walks you back downstairs to your unit when the sun goes down. you find yourself struggling to go inside to your empty apartment.

some days you see him and some days you don’t. your work schedule is consistent but you can’t get a read on his schedule, coming and going unpredicatably. life of a retiree, you think.

sometimes you catch him when you’ve come home from work. usually you’re thrilled to see him, an immediate smile stretching across your face and a blush on your cheeks as soon as you see his smile and hear his voice.

sometimes you curse his presence. like now, when you can’t even wait until you get inside your place before the tears start to fall. and of course john has to be in the front yard racking up leaves. you try to give a polite hello and walk up the steps inside, but john price can already read you like a book.

he’s pulling you into his chest before you even know it, big, solid arms wrapped around your shoulders holding you snug to him. “what’s got you so upset, huh?”

and you let the tears fall in earnest, feeling safe and secure with john. “work…just fucking sucks.”

“oh you poor thing,” he coos before gathering you up in his arms and leading you up to his place. he brews some tea as you sink into his couch, the leather warm and soft underneath you. once the teas done, he settles next to you and let’s you warble on about how unsupportive your work environment is and how your boss never follows through on his promises. he mostly just lets you talk, letting out an occasional hum in affirmation. that night he’s not very talkative, he’s much more tactile. running his hands up and down your arms, rubbing the tension from your shoulders and back as he allows you to lean on him until you’re practically in his lap. you’ve exhausted yourself crying and he thanks you for being so vulnerable with him and tells you that even though you don’t deserve all the bullshit at your job, you’re such a brave girl for fighting through it.

things continue to get more and more comfortable between you two. you would almost go as far as to say you would consider him a friend. you do still sometimes have awkward moments though. like when you go down to the basement to change your laundry from the washer to the dryer and you find him already placing your garments in. “oh sorry,” he says, flustered, a tinge of pink dusting his cheeks at being caught. “i spilt some paint on myself earlier while touching up the trim outside and really needed to get some stuff in the washer. i was going to message you asking if all this stuff could go in the dryer.”

he’s so thoughtful, you think. “yeah, it can all go in. thanks, john!”

hours later when you’re finally putting away your clean laundry you realize some of your panties are missing. oh well, its an older dryer, must have eaten them.

its months layer when your stomach drops as you read a text from john asking if you could come upstairs later tonight, there was something he needed to talk to you about. you feel a flash of panic, his text sounding serious. did you do something wrong? you had just seen him the previous day and everything between you seemed fine. you thought you were a great renter, but now you weren’t so sure.

you make your way up to his place and he greets you at the door, usual soft smile on his face.

“i just wanted to get something out in the open,” he starts as you both take a seat on the couch. “i’ve noticed an odor coming from downstairs late at night.”

for a moment you have no idea what he could be talking about, an odor, you think and then it hits you. your late night smoke sessions. “oh, yeah.” it dawns on you. “i’m so sorry about that.”

“no, no, it’s fine.” he reassures, “i would be a bit of a hypocrite myself to be honest, i smoke cigars constantly. try to keep it to just the back balcony but sometimes i break my own rules.”

“yeah, i don’t do it in the apartment because that would be rude, but,” you wince, “sometimes i get a little too lazy to go outside so i just do it out my bedroom window.”

“ah, no worries, dear. just wanted to let you know that i know.”

with your panic subsiding you feel a little bold, “would you like to smoke a little, john?”

“if you’re offering, i’ll be on the balcony.”

you would have never imagined sharing a joint with john would lead you here. in his lap, legs splayed open with your pants around your ankles. listening to the wet sounds of your pussy as he dips his big fingers inside you, hitting all the right spots. your brain is floaty and your limbs feel weightless against his big body that surrounds yours.

there’s a constant stream of nonsense and whimpers that leaves your lips as you dumbly watch him pet your swollen clit. but its the filth from his mouth that really gets you. “such a pretty little thing fo’ me, huh?”

“this little cunt ‘s all mine, right?”

“i’ve been thinking about touching you like this since the day you moved in.”

“cum on my fingers, sweet girl, i know you want to.”

and you do, clenching around his fingers as you keen and moan through it. there’s a whispered, “good girl,” deep and gravelly in your ear before you’re being lifted into john’s arms as he carries you back inside, to his bedroom.

[highhhfiveee]

Mike x reader, with reader who works long hours during the daytime and Mike working at night which results in them barely having time to see eachother besides from dinner and bedtime

oh, you wanted angst fr 🥲 i think it could go either way, but honestly angst is what stood out to me first. i’m going to make this sadder too, just because i can 💜

to crumble

pairing: mike schmidt x blackfem!reader summary: y/n and mike find their relationship at a dead end. wc: 2.3k tags: angst, pain, prescription drug mentions, fluff and cuteness in the beginning but not for long. mdni. part 2 here: 🏳️

all i can think ab is the unbearable pain that replaces the love in your hearts as time goes on.

you’ve been together for half a year. things were fun at first, but once you decide to move in to help with abby, you start to see the cracks in the foundation.

in this one, reader works two jobs (bc let’s face it, this is unfortunately realistic); teaching from 9-4 and cashiering from 5-8:30. mike doesn’t want you working two jobs and you didn’t want to, but you knew that your salaries combined wouldn’t keep you afloat. abby’s school is expensive, and so is everything else in life. the extra money you get from cashiering gives you guys flexibility. 

every morning at 6:30, monday to friday, you wake up alone. even though you know it’ll probably be empty, you still reach your arm over to run it over mike’s side. it’s always cold and flat, completely untouched. 

you brush this off at first; it's one of the things that comes with him working overnight and you know he needs this job so that he can keep abby. you want that for him and know that love is sacrifice. 

you wake abby up and start getting her ready in between fixing yourself up; brushing her teeth while you brush yours, letting her get a few more minutes of sleep in while you throw on your clothes, guiding her through packing her bag while you make breakfast. by that time, closer to 7:30, mike is finally walking into the house. 

his eyes are hooded and surrounded by dark bags and you can tell he's exhausted from the way he hangs his things up lethargically. he kisses abby, who's running around collecting things, on the head, then ambles over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing along your neck. 

they're soft, gentle actions that make you forget about not being able to do things like this at night. it doesn't matter when you have mornings with him, even if it's only 30 minutes before you have to go. you giggle and reach a hand up to his cheek, kissing him on his other one. 

"missed you," you whisper.

"missed you too," he mumbles back, planting a kiss on your lips before stalking away to ask abby something. 

you all eat breakfast together, and then you're slipping abby's coat over her shoulders before you put on your own. you usher her to the car and give mike one last kiss before you leave, a deep one that you hope he feels all day. when you pull away, you can see the affection sparkling in his eyes, low and tired but expressive nonetheless. 

"i love you," he whispers, his sleepiness masquerading as love-drunkeness. 

"i love you, mike. get some rest, okay?" 

you drop abby off, wishing her well, before you're alone for the next 12 hours. it often drags. at your teaching job, you feel as if it's just passing you buy in waves, everything whizzing past you at light speed. you're aware that you're in front of the kids, but then you just blackout. you're thrown into autopilot, and you do this over and over until your lunch break at 1. you text mike to pass the time.

sometimes it's something silly, like "god i do not get paid enough" or "a kid just ate glue /: send help", to which mike will respond "😂😂😂" or "lol you deserve millions (:". he makes you laugh, and it's enough to help you push through the end of the day. 

he picks up abby from school, asking her all about her day and what she wants for dinner. he'll text you what she says so you know what to expect when you get home, like "meatloaf 🍖🍞 (:" or "chicken alfredo 0: fancy". 

for you, transitioning from teaching to customer service was easy; all you had to do was maintain that same autopilot: smile on, eyes alert, prepared for anything. no one suspected a thing when you could keep up and answer their questions. 

mike helps abby with her homework, scratching his head with the eraser of a pencil when he draws blanks on a math or history question. abby only sighs, telling him about something off-topic. "art class is much more interesting." 

mike starts dinner while you're closing up at work, sweeping the front end of the store and counting down your drawer. he lets abby help sometimes, and they usually have it ready for you by the time you're home at 9. 

abby meets you at the door, and you hug her tight, picking her up and waltzing her back into the house. mike is setting the dining table, greeting you with a sleepy smile and, "the queen has arrived."

you all sit down and eat, and it's another one of those moments where everything feels okay. the last 12 hours didn't matter when you were able to have this at the end of it. 

you tell abby and mike about your day over spaghetti, spilling details about prideful parents and spiteful customers. abby laughs all throughout, asking questions about being a cashier. mike just listens, eyes and heart floating between the two of you. 

you clear the table while mike goes to get ready for work, and a wash of dread passes over you. your brain knows what's happening next. you'll kiss him goodbye, clinging to his hoodie sleeve for a second longer than you should, and then you'll settle down with abby, bathing her and reading her to sleep. then you'll be alone. it will just be you and the screech of infomercials until midnight, and then you'll be off to sleep, snuggling into a pillow that smells like mike. 

you push the feeling away, shaking your head and hands and doing just as you know. there's the kiss, the night routine with abby, and the moment you sit on the couch, surrounded by tv light and the croaking of cicadas. 

mike doesn't text during his shift unless it's an emergency. it makes you sad, but you understand. security requires focus, and you require sleep. 

for a while, this works. it's what you and mike have to do to make ends meet, and while you both think that it'll only get better with more time at it, it doesn't. 

you still wake up alone and go through the same rhythm, but when mike comes in around 7:30, it's not 7:30 anymore. it's 7:39, then 7:45, then 7:58. the latest he's ever been, so late that you're not able to eat with him. he shrugs it off when you mention it, kissing your cheek and retreating to the bedroom to sleep.

you drop abby off as usual, and go to work. work. work. work. 

mike starts missing your lunch break texts, sometimes dozing dangerously close to when abby's school lets out. while your class works, you bitterly stare at your text conversation. your unanswered "shaping america's future is kinda sick" message stares back at you until it's replaced by abby's school calling. your heart drops to your stomach as you step out of the room to take the call, answering the phone with, "is she okay?" 

mike didn't pick her up. she's out at 2:30 and it's 3:30 now, and she's crying and scared because he didn't pick up the phone, and she always calls him first. 

you leave work in a flurry, asking a fellow teacher to take over, and you speed to abby's school, not caring about tickets or police or anything. you only want to get her home.

mike is dashing out of the door when you pull up, wrenching a sobbing abby out of your backseat and clutching her close. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry," he breathes, smoothing her hair and looking up at you with regret etched into every feature on his face.

you try your best to hide your upset, ushering everyone inside before changing into your work clothes. you were going to be late, but you shake it off. abby was home and that was all that mattered. 

"hey," mike reaches out to you when you're on your way out. his fingers graze their way down to your hand, and it makes you wish that you could stay home. "thanks for that. i've just been super tired lately and i overslept and---"

"it's okay, baby," you give him a tight lipped smile and a kiss on the knuckles. "just don't let it happen again." 

it happens again. and again. and again. it happens so many times that abby starts to think mike is forgetting about her, and you don't know how to get that out of her head. she cries about it more and more with each time you have to pick her up. he stops running out to apologize, still asleep inside. 

you rush into the bedroom. he's splayed out over the bed, snoring loudly with his arm hanging over the side. you find an orange pill bottle on his nightstand. an old ambien prescription. 

you argue with him before work sometimes.

"what do you need ambien for?"

"i can't sleep." 

"but every morning, you skip breakfast to sleep."

"i do fall asleep, but i started waking up out of it. i just take the ambien to help me fall again."

"what time do you take it?"

"i don't know, y/n."

"why are you lying to me?"

"i'm not." 

"what time?" you cry, grasping at your chest. a sharp pains thud through your ribcage, and you literally sob. it feels like your heart is tearing in two. "you stare at times, mike. what time do you take the ambien?" 

he doesn't answer you and he doesn't know why. it would be so easy to tell you that he takes it at 9 or 10, and that he believes he'll be able to wake himself up around 2 but he doesn't. he can’t sleep without the ambien. he needs it now because he kept himself up in the early days of this, mind toiling over their situation, the endless reassurance that this would work sending him into insomnia. 

you leave when he doesn't answer, wiping at your watery eyes and runny nose. 

you cashier as a shell of yourself. abby stops asking mike for homework help, and eventually he stops cooking dinner too, trading all that time in for extra sleep after picking her up. you have to explain the situation to your retail store manager, just in case mike forgets again, and start looking after abby more. mike only ever made time to spend with her on the weekends, content with awkward moments over lunch and low energy bickering.

the lunch break texts stop. the dinner texts stop.

he's dressed and ready to leave when you get home these days, prepared to exit as you enter. you don't know what to say as you face each other in the doorway, eyes focused on anything but each other. you don’t even kiss anymore.

"i think abby's asleep already."

you shake your head. "i think she's really sad. she hasn't been coming out of there like she used to. she misses you." 

"i miss her too, of course. i'm just busy." 

"all you do is work, mike," you deadpan, exhausted with him. you never thought you'd ever get to a point where you looked at mike, the sure love of your life, with disdain, but you felt it creep into you ever so slightly. 

"yeah, i know. it fucking sucks, but it's what i have to do to keep abby."

you scoff, scooting past him to take your coat and bag off. "as if you're going to keep her by leaving her at school everyday." it's supposed to be under your breath, but the disdain creeps onto your tongue, bitter and raging, and you say it aloud, to his face. 

his jaw clenches and his brown eyes burn, staring you down with an unrelenting severity. you hunch yourself over, dropping your head and sighing out, "mike, i'm sorry. i didn--" 

he leaves without another word. 

how it got to this, neither of you know. not even the weekends healed anymore. mike caught up on sleep, you caught up on grading, and in your downtime, you avoided each other. for him, it felt easier than being around you. you were irritable all the time, a quick fuse with any word he could think to speak. 

for you, it seemed like it was what he wanted. time away from you, from abby, from everyone; time to be alone and recharge for the only thing he ever did, the only thing that was keeping his sister in his care. 

you didn't even remember what his touch felt like, what he tasted like. the man that you loved had become but a memory, a ghost that passed through your plane. you’re able to imagine his fluffy hair, his perfect smile, his laugh, his rich smell, but none of it mattered. he didn’t feel like yours anymore. 

you suppose it was the same for him, with you existing in the same space but only tangible to him some of the time. he would catch glimpses of your smile, laughing at something on your phone, or talking to abby, meet your eyes when you shuffled back to the bedroom from the bathroom, rimmed in red from crying for the last 30 minutes.

he starts sleeping on the couch, unable to even lay beside you. 

mike does a lot of crying. a lot of screaming into his pillow, wondering why he fucks these things up so badly. you do the same, wondering why you stay in situations that hurt you.

this goes on for longer than you two would like, so long that you don't even celebrate your one-year anniversary.

the day passes without noise, mike sleeping and you working.

a prequel of sorts : x

THIS WAS SO FUCKING LONG MY BBBBBBBB OMG. i did NOT mean to go this deep in, i just felt SOOOOO MUCH! my little brain got sad ): i could go deeper into this too one day, breaking up moments into specific little blurbs or ficlets d: let me know if y'all even enjoyed this lmaooo off to write for Halloween lol

[bookishgalaxies]

Hellooooo I saw that ur requests are opened so I tried to make my head work and think about something interesting

What about Wanderer x Reader (I know you don't like writing a male reader, but still I'd like to request it <3 if u don't feel comfortable doing it you can just go by gn reader) But the reader has a scarameow plush and he always hug his plush when he wants attention. LIKE he doesn't hug Wanderer to not bother him or something (bros so insecure ew (jk)

WELL AGAIN if you don't want to write a male reader you can go by gn <3 tysm if u write that request. Have a good day/night!!

(I actually tried to think about something to request cause I can't take trying to read smt with him and this app having mostly smut fics with him <//3 LIKE WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SMUT FICS...)

Hug Me Instead, Idiot

summary: you just want some cuddles but are too scared to ask, so you hug your plushie instead. Not realizing that Wanderer had caught on to this habit of your’s.

type: oneshot, not proofread

character: wanderer x gn!reader

warnings: reader being insecure, wanderer being wanderer (affectionately ofc)

a/n: thank you bunches for this request! I’m sorry I couldn’t do a make reader for you. I just always feel more comfortable writing for a gender neutral reader. That said, always let me know if there are any pronoun slips or mistakes. I really enjoyed this request even though I’m not much of a Wanderer fan myself.

————————★————————

The day had been long and seemed to have taken a lot out of you. You enjoyed your job and found great pleasure in what you did but right now you were exhausted. Halfway between sitting and lying on the comfy sofa.

You heard the sound of pencil scratching on paper as Wanderer made revisions to one of his colleague’s essays. He sat in a chair across the room next to a lamp emitting warm light and a small table.

You admired his features, even if they were scrunched up in annoyance at what he was reading. His indigo eyes may have possessed a sharp glare but they were mesmerizing all the same. The way his lip quirked up slightly in a devious smirk as he marked on the essay. Indicating he was obviously looking forward to badgering the scholar about the error later. His navy hair fell over his forehead and right now looked like it would be quite soft to the touch.

You two had been together for a while now much to both of your liking. Sure Wanderer could be a bit….rough around the edges sometimes, but he cared. You could see it in his actions even if he wasn’t a fan of always saying that he cared for you.

Admittedly, you hugged your cat plush closer. The stuffed animal gifted to you by Wanderer after he saw you admiring it in a shop window. You had told him that you weee admiring it because reminded you of him. Of course he was quick to scoff, telling you that your idea of similarity was ridiculous.

He regretted to inform you about the warm feeling that had spread throughout him when you mentioned thinking of him.

You didn’t notice how tightly you were holding the plush. Hugging it as if it were a real thing. You could tell you were getting tired and right now in particular wanted to cuddle with someone. That someone being Wanderer.

He was busy though, engrossed in editing the essays. You didn’t want to bother him over something so silly. He would probably find the request bothersome or annoying and you were already too scared of being perceived that way.

Fidgeting with the plush cat’s ears you started to spiral a bit. Thinking of all the times you had asked for a hug or a kiss and cringing at yourself for doing so. Honestly, you didn’t know why Wanderer stayed with you this long.

Looking out of the window next to the couch, you hear a voice from behind you.

“Move over.” Wanderer said, now standing by the sofa with a hardcover book and his now smaller stack of essays.

“Don’t you want to stay in the chair where there’s more light?”

“If I did I’d still be over there.” He replied, motioning again for you to scoot over.

He sat beside you, continuing to write vigilantly on the papers. It only took a few minutes before his sharp glare drifted over to you and he said.

“You’re lucky I’m not an idiot.” He’d say, setting the book and papers aside as he pulled you into a warm embrace.

You were stunned for a moment at how he knew that was exactly what you had wanted from him. Yes he was intelligent but….

“How did you-“

“I’m not an idiot.”

He’d look at you with pretty indigo eyes, his expression stoic as always.

“You could always just ask me.”

You knew he was right.

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

He’d scoff and roll his eyes.

“The scholars at the Akademiya bother me, not you. “

You’d smile warmly at him knowing that this was as sappy as he was going to get. It felt nice breathing in his clean and airy scent as you slowly drifted off into sleep. Finally able to let your brain drift into unconsciousness.

————————★————————

thank you so much for reading !!

stay hydrated and have a nice day/night !!

[cutielando]

Hi! So I'm a one-to-one teacher and it's. . . A lot. Especially the extra work once school hours are actually over and sometimes (all the time) it gets very overwhelming and I cried over it last week so if you could write something to do with this and a very concerned boyfriend!Oscar I would be eternally grateful! Maybe he comes home in the early hours from a race to find reader still awake and planning lessons? Grazie grazie! 🫶

teacher things | o.p.

my masterlist

Ever since you were a little girl, you had always dreamed of becoming a teacher. You loved kids, especially interacting with them and teaching them all kinds of new things.

It was safe to say that becoming a teacher had been your greatest accomplishment. 

Oscar had supported you from the first time you told him about your aspirations, being with you every step of the way when things got hard and you needed a shoulder to cry on.

And even though there was nothing you would rather be doing in life, you were so tired. It felt like every waking moment was spent either in school, or hunched over your desk at home, planning the days ahead and grading papers.

You were exhausted, the dark bags under your eyes a statement to support that claim. 

You had kept Oscar in the dark of your state for a couple of weeks, knowing that his focus would be completely thrown off balance if you had just mentioned how busy you had been and how little sleep you had got. 

But now, Oscar was coming home for the summer break, and you knew you couldn’t hide anything from him anymore. Even up until then, you were almost certain he had figured out something was bothering you, but chose not to say anything until he came home and got a good look at you.

The last time you had talked to Oscar was before he boarded his flight, which had been more than four hours ago. You hadn’t even felt the time tick by, too engrossed in your work to even look at the clock.

Oscar had been worried the entire flight back home. He had felt something was wrong every time you two spoke on the phone. He knew how dedicated you were to your job and how much you loved it, but he also knew how much stress you were under and how easily you got lost in the amount of work that you had. 

Which is precisely why he knew he would find you in a dire situation when he got home. Knowing that, he decided to stop by a few places before he got home to buy some things to cheer you up.

Firstly, he stopped by your favorite restaurant and bought you your favorite meal, knowing you had probably been skipping meals more than he would have liked. After that, he stopped at a candy shop and bought some candy to indulge your sweet tooth, something that always helped you concentrate. His last stop was at the local flower shop right down the street from your apartment, buying you a big bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Arms full, he unlocked the front door and silently made his way into the apartment, not surprised when he noticed all of the lights turned off except for the one in the living room where you preferred to work.

He sighed, deciding to put everything in the kitchen and take care of you first. 

With silent steps, he slowly walked towards the living room, making sure not to startle you. You always completely zoned out when you were working and got spooked easily, which is not something Oscar wanted to add to your plate.

Thankfully, you hadn’t been working in that particular moment, only resting your head in your hands and massaging your scalp in order to help soothe the headache you had been supporting for 2 hours now.

“Babe?” Oscar softly called out, smiling sadly once he heard you hum, but not raise your head. 

He stopped right next to your chair, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. He leaned down, planting a kiss on the top of your head, an action which finally prompted you to raise your head and look at your boyfriend.

Oscar had been readying himself for the sight he was bound to see when he got home, but it was even worse than what he had imagined. Your eyes were red and puffy, the bags under your eyes worse than he had ever seen them, your hair was tied in a very messy bun, but the most alarming thing to him was your wobbly lip and your eyes filled with tears threatening to escape.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” he asked, crouching down in front of you and taking your face in his hands. 

You didn’t say anything, not trusting your voice not to break as soon as you opened your mouth. Instead, you let yourself fall into his arms, burying your face into his neck and inhaling the scent you had missed so much while he was away, the tears you had been pushing down for weeks finally coming to light.

Oscar wrapped his arms around you, squeezing your waist and pressing kisses to your neck. He didn’t say anything, figured there wouldn’t be anything he could say that would make you feel better in that moment. He realized you just needed to get everything out of your system, all the feelings you had been pushing down because you had been so busy to even let yourself feel the stress you had been subjecting yourself to.

Gradually, your sobs began to quiet down and your tears stopped running down your cheeks. It felt so good to finally get everything off of your chest, the tears that had longed so much to finally be let free.

You slowly pulled away from Oscar, wiping your tears with the sleeves of the hoodie you had stolen from his closet.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, not wanting to pressure you into talking about what was on your mind if you didn’t want to.

You thought about it for a moment before you sighed and hung your head.

“I’m just so tired. The kids at school have been more tiring than usual, the principal is being a bitch to the entire staff, I have so much stuff to organize and prepare and papers to grade and I feel like I can’t do everything and it’s just too much” you vented, sighing in relief at the end as the weight had finally lifted from your shoulders.

Oscar smiled sympathetically, knowing how passionate you were about your job, but how demanding and tiring it could get at times.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” he asked, bringing a hand to cup your cheek and rub soothing motions on your skin with his thumb.

You thought about it for a moment, but there was only one thing that came to mind.

“Cuddles?”

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

[mrsrileywrites]

Hi! I read lots of your work and im SO IN LOVE!!! Like I absolutely fell so hard for papa simon 😭😭 i wanna give him a babyy! But i was wondering, how would pregnancy be like with his child. I mean bro is HUGE so his baby would probably be not only pretty big and probably weight a little bit more too than an average newborn. If its okay with you would it be possible for you to write a little story maybe add a little bit of angst? (Idk like argument about something that made the reader really sad?) but please a happy ending 🥹

Feel free to ignore if thats not your thing or just not feeling comfortable writing about it!! LOVE YOUU!! Btw sorry for any misspelling English is not my first language.

First of, as a not native English speaker, your English is perfect.

And second, thank you for your kind words, it really encourages me to keep writing and also boosts my ego 😁

You asked in such a nice and respectful way so I really want to make you happy.

Now here's the thing, I'm an adult with lots of responsibilities and sometimes adulting makes me tired, like last night when I was trying to finish this but I fell asleep and I woke up this morning to find half of my writing disappeared, it just vanished 🥲

But I'll give you this to munch on and I promise I'll finish this before the end of the week.

I hope this is what you were expecting... Enjoy 🫶

A little over 700 words.

_______________________

You stood in front of the sink of your bathroom, holding a pregnancy test on your shaky hands, two little red lines staring right back at you.

How did this happen? How would you tell him? He doesn't want kids, he made it clear from the beginning and you accepted it without a fuss, that's why you've been taking your pills diligently every day, you didn't forget one, did you?... No, you know you didn't, how did this happen?

"You okay there, love?" Simon knocks on the bathroom door and you jump in surprise, like a child that's been caught red handed.

"Y-yes Si, j-just give me a minute... I'll be right there." Your period is about three weeks late so you bought a pregnancy test, your best friends advice, it wouldn't hurt, it was just to make sure, you certainly were not expecting this.

You hid the test on the cabinet under the sink and washed your face before coming out.

It's been a week since your ob-gyn confirmed a six weeks pregnancy and you still haven't found the courage nor the right time to break the news to Simon, so when he gets a call from Price to get deployed on a long mission you fear it would be too late by the time he comes back.

One month at most he said when he kissed you goodbye almost two months ago, you are 16 weeks into your pregnancy and your bump is starting to show, which only adds to your anxiety, between the morning sickness and your hormones being all over the place you still haven't figured out how to tell him.

As you ponder how to break the news to him, you realize that a simple phone call wouldn't suffice. With him stationed on the other side of the globe, risking his life every day, you hesitate to burden him further. At the same time, you know it wouldn't be ideal for him to return home and suddenly find you waddling around with a baby bump.

So you stay quiet and whenever he calls and asks why you sound so exhausted you blame it on your job, you say you are just stressed out, and he promises he'll take care of you once he's back, he'll relieve you from the stress the way you like it, the way only he knows how to.

You are laying on the couch wearing Simon's t-shirt, stuffing yourself with your favorite ice cream and watching trash tv when you hear fumbling outside your front door before it swings open, a very rugged Simon stands in the threshold , you curse under your breath, he didn't say he was coming home the last time you talked on the phone three days ago so you stand there and look at him overly conscious of the bump hiding under his t-shir and you thank the heavens he is a big man, you think the loose fit of his T-shirt would buy you time, your ice cream long forgotten in the coffee table.

He walks towards you with long strides as he pulls his balaclava over his head running his fingers through his messy hair and you shy away, you step back and freeze, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, he stops in his tracks and tilts her head, his eyebrows pinch as his eyes linger on your midsection and you know you're fucked, he noticed, how wouldn't he, and you hope and pray he'd say something, anything, but he doesn't, he turns on his heels ready to walk out.

"Simon wait!" You call for him and he stops, his hand lingers on the door knob, "I can explain, please just hear me out" your voice cracks and you wish you had been brave enough to tell him before, you know about his childhood and his trauma, you know his struggles and why he didn't want children in the first place, he trusted you and you broke his trust, you deceived him from the moment you found out you were pregnant and decided to keep it to yourself because you were too scared to trust him back.

"Explain what?" He shouts turning around and walking towards you again, your hands fly to your belly instinctively, protective. You lower your head, eyes glued to the floor, ashamed.

[piplup335]

Darkheart x reader!

H E L L O, F E L L A S ! ! ! ! ! ! !

*ahem*

I'm back to write! My exam just ended 2h ago, and I'm doing alright! To whoever requested this, I'm so sorry you had to wait so long ;-; I had stuff to do and I had to rush this because I may not be posting for another month or so otherwise ;-;

but yea, enjoy the story! :D

-

Crossroads. Known for being the lively town which joined all four factions together...and the only thing stopping them from engaging in war.

Blackrock, Playground, Lost Temple and Thieves' Den.

For generations, Blackrock had considered themselves sworn enemies with Playground, and the phighters of Playground thought likewise, so the sight of demons from each faction leaving the other alone instead of going at each other's throats in Crossroads was a treat for everyone. 

It also just so happened to be the only place where people of different factions could meet up and relax after a long day of phights. 

Someone from Lost Temple could chat with someone from Playgrounds without any conflicts happening on either side. 

Someone from Thieves' Den could walk into a bar with someone from Blackrock, and that would be perfectly fine on all sides. 

However, Crossroads wasn’t just the number one hangout place for phighters- it was one for the SFOTH deities, too. Especially during their days off. 

And sometimes, they just so happened to be in the places no one would expect them to be. 

Of course, Firebrand was standing in the centre of it all, boasting to demons about his great power and how he ruled over the entirety of Crossroads. 

Other deities hid elsewhere. They watched over Crossroads from the shadows, save for Windforce who went to Banlands to find her son. 

They all had a favourite place to watch Crossroads from. Illumina enjoyed standing at the edge of the Crossroads tower, watching demons move around like ants on a grid. 

Some of the deities’ favourite spots were slightly unusual, however…

…such as underneath a bridge. 

“Freaking finally…”

The weekend was here. You, a phighter, made a living by duelling other demons in “phights”. They were regularly hosted by Dom and Valk, the two famous idols known as Flipside. 

They were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and you were participating in these phights to maybe, just maybe, make enough from them to ensure you get to live well for the rest of your life. 

You knew you already could, however- because of your lover. 

He had everything. Strength, affluence, hell, he was also well-known around the Inpherno.

He had offered you everything you could ever wish for. He just wanted you to be there with him until the end of time. 

You refused, however- how could you let your loving boyfriend do all the work?

So, you still worked by phighting- you enjoyed the job, anyway. Your boyfriend would even visit sometimes. Just, well- to annoy the hell out of others.

"A little bit of chaos is fun...don't you think?"

You internally cheered at the sight, but everyone else groaned. Even Biograft, despite it being a robot, seemed to tense up, gripping its energy blades harder...

To you, it was a blessing.

To other players, it was a curse...literally.

“Feeling vulnerable…?”

Just then, the enemy Biograft seemed to falter, its lights dimming. Seemed like he got the curse…

“WHAT THE HELL? AM I NOT VULNERABLE ENOUGH ALREADY?”

Those were his last words before getting obliterated by your ally, Hyperlaser…

Your ally, Shuriken, was chasing down Sword, who was on 15 HP. 

“We’re feeling a gust of wind come along…!”

The next thing he knew, Shuriken got blasted upwards…and out of the map. 

Of course, Darkheart would make sure that you were out of harm's way before casting another one of his curses. Though, he wasn’t as merciful with your teammates…

So here you sat, after a long day and a hard battle, snuggled up in your boyfriend’s arms. 

"Darkheart...I'm exhausted..."

"No need to worry, dear...we'll be here..."

You never really understood why your boyfriend always referred to himself plurally, but it was just another one of his quirks that you adored about him. You loved him, and he loved you back.

His one withered wing wrapped itself around your frame- his own special way of hugging you. Another one of his little habits. 

"We just don't want Illumina to get to you, you know...? We're trying not to be too overprotective...who knows what he'd do to you?"

You giggled. Typical Darkheart- always protective of you, fearing for your wellbeing...sparing you from the usual curses he'd inflict on the others- hell, Darkheart would even curse other people if they got too close to his beloved. 

As you fell asleep in your boyfriend's arms, you couldn't help but let out a small smile. Seeing your happy expression, Darkheart let out a small chuckle.

"Sleep well, my dearest..."

This was your life. Yourself, with Darkheart by your side. Sure, there were little disputes or disagreements in your relationship, and sometimes people would laugh at you because Darkheart was so much taller than you. But despite all this...

...you couldn't ask for more.

- thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! this is my second (I think lmao) romance fic, so if you have any feedback do leave it in the comments so I can improve my writing for you guys! :D

[darylsdelts]

Hi, how are you?? Would it be alright to request a drabble where Daryl and his partner keep trying to have some alone time between their jobs in the Commonwealth but keep getting interrupted by Judith, RJ and Dog? And when things get hot and heavy at night, one of the kids has a nightmare and wants to sleep in their bed?

Thank you and take care lovely <3

DarylxFem!Reader

warnings: p in v, poorly written smut.

this is something I think about a lot, tysm for the request!!

You’d settled into the commonwealth now. In the beginning, it was difficult, you had grown so accustomed to hilltop and being surrounded by people you already knew, and most of all, you were used to being with Daryl all the time. 

Things were different now, Daryl had some big important job that didn’t leave him much alone time, he was surrounded by dumbasses all the time and if you knew Daryl then you knew how much he struggled to push through the days sometimes.

You’re job wasn’t as big as Daryl’s but it was important to you because it helped you feel like part of the community. You worked in the ice cream truck and you loved it, it wasn’t a demanding job, it was simply just scooping ice cream and seeing the smiles on the kids faces when you handed it to them. Daryl had described it as ‘the perfect job for you’. He knew you were capable of so much more but he also knew that his girl deserved a break and he’d be damned if he took your little ice cream job away from you, there was no need to overexert yourself now you were here, so he was just glad you were enjoying yourself, even if he didn’t particularly have the best time at his own job.

You were the one to pick the kids up from school whilst Daryl was the one who ushered the two Grimes’ to get ready quickly in the mornings, since he had to get up early anyways. Daryl rarely got any days off and it was showing, he was becoming short with people, not being hurtful or rude but he was just exhausted and quite frankly just wanted to sleep as soon as he got home which left very little time for the two of you but you understood.

One morning, you woke up from Daryl planting a soft kiss on your forehead. Opening your eyes and staring at him, you were confused. He wasn’t in his gear or in his black attire, he was just wearing his worn black jeans and button down with his leather vest.

“Mornin’, darlin’” he swiped some hair off your face.

Your eyebrows furrow, “why aren’t you- why are you still here?”

Daryl scoffed with a smirk.

“Ouch…” he chuckles, “ain’t got work today, gotta day off to spend wit’ ya”

Instantly, a grin took over your face, reaching your arms out to your partner which he gladly took in his calloused hands and pulled you to sit upright.

“Want ya to get ready… gon’ be just me n you today, okay?”.

God, you love him so much!

“Okay…” you reply with a soft giggle.

Halfway through your shower, you feel a sudden surge of panic.

You rush out of the bathroom to find Daryl sat at the small table in the kitchen area.

“Daryl! Where are the kids?! It’s the weekend!”

Daryl looks up at you and nearly chokes on the water in his mouth when he sees you stood stark naked.

Then he stifles laughter.

“Christ girl… they’re with Carol. Ya really think id just lose em?” He raises his eyebrows and can’t help his eyes from darting between your chest and your face.

“Get back in the damn shower, been in there long enough anyways… hurry up”.

Ten minutes later, you’re dressed and ready to go… wherever Daryl plans on taking you.

Just as you leave the apartment complex, Daryl almost bumps straight into Carol, who was coming the opposite way with RJ in tow, looking teary-eyed.

“Daryl… I’m sorry, I know you had… plans, but RJ’s not feeling so hot and he just keeps asking for you”.

As RJ lets go of Carol’s hand and quickly latches on to Daryl’s, you can hear Daryl sigh.

“Nah… s’alrigh’… thanks Carol”, Daryl ruffles RJ’s hair and then turns back towards the apartment complex, walking in without another word.

Lord knows he’s pissed off, not at RJ, but just at the world but… what’s new?

Once inside, you tell Daryl to go sit down whilst you deal with RJ, tucking him in and giving him some medicine. After he’s all snuggled, you tell him to shout if he needs anything and then you shut the door, making your way to Daryl.

He’s sat in the same chair as earlier, he looks up at you as you stand beside him.

Cupping his face, you lean down to kiss his cheek, “its okay, we can still spend time together inside…”

Daryl forces a smile and nods, you’re always the positive one and he loves you for that but he wanted to do something nice with you today.

You spend the rest of the day taking care of RJ and playing a real old, shitty board game with Daryl (who doesn’t play by the rules) until Judith came home from being Carol’s care all day.

You and Daryl do your job as make shift parents, getting the kids to bed and then the two of you go to bed together. Daryl holds you protectively against his chest and you can sense he’s upset with how the day panned out. And, just to top it off, dog decided to bark at a bird through the window at one AM, causing the entire family to wake up. You offer to be the one to get up, close the damn curtains and get the kids settled again but Daryl being Daryl, is stubborn as hell.

“Shhh... Just go back to sleep, I got it”

You groan inwardly, knowing that your man will be grouchy the next morning.

And boy were you right.

Not being able to treat you to a nice day was pissing Daryl off to high heavens, but that mixed with three hours sleep after having to get two children back to sleep and a dog to stop barking, was a recipe for disaster.

Your man was running himself into the ground and you knew that if you didn’t do something soon, he’d get overwhelmed and most likely have some sort of mental break down. There’s only so much the great loverboy Daryl Dixon can take!

A few days later, you’d managed to work your magic. 

Daryl had the afternoon off and the kids both had sleepovers to attend.

And so did you and Daryl.

Daryl got off from work at two, bursting through the door and practically ripping his gear off. He was stressed.

As soon as he sees you, he walks over to you but just stands in front of you, no advances.

As you look over his face, you notice he looks about ready to cry, so you squeeze his biceps then rub his shoulders, reaching up on your tiptoes to give him a kiss.

His strong hands wrap around your waist and pull you closer, deepening the kiss. He starts to guide you backwards until the back of your knees hit the mattress and your fall onto your back.

Daryl practically growls, he’s HUNGRY and it visible in his eyes.

He lifts you to the centre of the mattress, leaning over you and kissing at your neck, sucking and nibbling as you emit desperate whimpers, you’re both just as needy as each other.

Daryl wants to kiss every part of you but he’s already painfully hard in the confines of his trousers and he’s so fucking pent up he’s afraid that if he keeps up the foreplay, he won’t last much longer.

Standing on his knees, he undoes his pants, pulling them down swiftly, along with his boxers, his impressive length springing free, his tip producing a fat bead of precum.

“Bend over.” Is all he says.

You do as you’re told, of course, getting onto your hands and knees, arching your back and pushing your ass out for your man.

Grabbing the skirt of your dress, he pushes it up to your shoulder blades, making sure its out the way.

He spreads your soft ass cheeks with his calloused hands, running his thumb over the wet spot on your panties.

“Such a good, fucking girl fer me, aint ya?”

You whine as a reply and then he’s pulling your panties to the side, running his thumb through your wet slit then stopping to massage at your clit.

“Please…”, you whimper out.

His hand leaves your pussy, gripping at the base of his cock and guiding it to your folds, pushing in without another warning.

“Fu-uuck… so fucking tight y/n…”

Daryl holds your hips in a grip like a vice, pounding into you from behind whilst he grunts with each thrust. He leans down to kiss your back, his hands leaving your hips to slide up the front of your dress, squeeing your tits.

Daryl’s grunts turn into whimpers as he gets close, but then you both hear the front door open, followed my a chirp voice.

“Uncle Daryl, Aunt y/n…?” Judith’s steps can be heard coming towards the bedroom as she searches for the both of you.

“Ya gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me”, Daryl quickly pulls out, throwing a blanket over you and then roughly pulling up his pants.

“Aye, Jude just- just wait out there, kid!”

So she does, and when Daryl exits the room he’s met with a knowingly raised eyebrow.

“Don’t gimme that, ya ain’t s’posed to be ‘ere”

“I had a nightmare… I wanted to come home”

Daryl expression softens.

“Ya walked back here by yerself, in the dark?”

Judith nods, clearly a little shaken. “Can I sleep in your guys’ bed? Please?”

Daryl sighs but ultimately gives in, making sure you’re decent before leading Jude in.

Daryl was not happy that Judith had walked home by herself in the dark, not telling the adults she was with, but he was less happy about the fact he left you hanging.

But that would have to be solved another time, now Daryl had lost all horniness… almost being walked in on by your ‘kid’ does that to a man, specially when the plant themselves right in the middle of you and your girl.

Judith fell asleep pretty fast between the two of you.

You reached across the sleeping child to squeeze Daryl’s hand, whispering a meaningful “I love you”.

Sure, Daryl was a little down that he couldn’t love on his girl like he wanted to but boy was he lucky, and he was smart enough to see that. He was grateful for his little family, so he returned the gesture. 

“Love ya too, baby”

“Ssssshhh!”

You and Daryl scoffed at Judith’s demand, but followed suit, falling asleep eventually.

God this felt so rushed! Alsooooo I struggle so much with tense so I’m sorry about that lmfao.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Comparing you to their Ex-Girlfriend

Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem! Reader; Suna Rintaro x Fem! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: Angst to Comfort, the boys are MAJOR DICKS, swearing, alcoholism in Kuroos’, Kenma and Osamu taking their shots 😌, in Suna’s reader falls asleep in her car and it obviously looks weird but she’s just sleeping!

A/N: just me, being self-indulgent again 💅 I’m working on trying to improve my descriptive skills and I figured I’d share my attempts

Kuroo

You and Tetsuro had a great relationship. You had both worked hard to establish trust after your previously failed attempts at love. No relationship was perfect and you definitely had your fair share of troubles, often finding yourself disagreeing with your boyfriend over random things. You both had strong opinions and that was ok, you respected each other and made your relationship work.

Both you and Tetsuro worked long hours at your jobs. He was the sports promoter for Japan’s men’s volleyball and you worked hard in your chosen profession. While you had worked hard to establish a distinction between your home and work life, sometimes your boyfriend found it difficult.

He was always working, always scheming up new ways to bring awareness to the sport. His newest venture had been centered on creating an All Stars match featuring some of Japan’s finest players from all around the world.

You loved Tetsuro with your entire heart but you couldn’t help but feel second in his world at times. You understood how important it was to him and how hard he worked but you still struggled with sharing your boyfriend especially when he was at home.

You had been excited for the weekend, having planned an extravagant date for your and Tetsuro’s two year anniversary. He was coming home at 5 pm to shower and get ready, your reservations were set for 7pm at the cities hottest new restaurant. Your mutual friend, Kenma, had helped hook you up with reservations that were extremely hard to come by.

Everything was planned out perfectly, your outfit, makeup and hair were flawless. You had even splurged on a special lingerie set just for tonight. When 5pm rolled around and Tetsuro hadn’t showed up, you messaged him. You figured his meeting had run a little late but you weren’t too concerned. However, when 5:30 then 6 followed by 6:30 and 7 came you became extremely concerned. You hard called him a dozen times, text him well over that, concerned something serious might have happened.

At 7:45pm, the door finally opened as you shot up from your seat on the couch. You watched as your boyfriend strolled in, tie lose and looking exhausted. He set his briefcase down, before taking his shoes off and looking at you.

“Hey baby, sorry I’m late today was ridiculous! What’s for dinner? I’m starving,” he said, removing his tie and walking into your shared bedroom. You stared at him, completely flabbergasted by how he was acting. Had he really forgotten? This had to be some sick joke.

“Tetsuro,” you said as he hummed a response and walked out into the living room.

“Wow babe you look incredible! Did you have a work meeting today?” He said making his way to the kitchen, “are we ordering our tonight? I hope it’s from that dumpling place we got last week!”

You continued to stare at him, your eyes practically drying out from not blinking, “Tetsuro did you forget we were going out tonight?”

He stopped, turning and sighing, “YN I’m so sorry- my boss came into town and he wanted to see how the developments were coming along, I completely spaced it.”

“And you completely spaced answering your phone or at least letting me know you’d be late? I was worried sick Tetsuro!” You shouted, angry not only because your plans were ruined but because he didn’t even think to let you know about what was going on.

“YN it’s not that big of a deal, we can go out to that place anytime. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he responded as he came closer, extending his arms as you backed away.

“No Tetsuro, you always promise me and you never deliver. I’ve been flexible, I’ve been accommodating because I know you love your job but it seems that I need to be volleyball shaped in order to get any attention!” You shouted as he narrowed his gaze on you.

“YN don’t you think you’re overreacting? You said it yourself, you how important this is to me,” he said as you stood there, mouth agape.

“Tetsuro, I’m asking for you to be a boyfriend to me, to give me a little time and affection and you think I’m over exaggerating?” You yell. You were so mad and you had every right to be. You stood there, staring at him as he shook his head and began to mumble, “speak up Tetsuro! I know you have something you want to say!”

“I never had this problem when I was with Ally! She knew how important my work was and she never bothered me like you do!” He spat out as you reeled back. How could he bring her up? How could he stoop so low as to bring up the one person who had made you fell inferior.

Ally was Tetsuro’s ex girlfriend and his first love. She had broken up with him right after college when she decided to move abroad. When you met him, he was heartbroken and you slowly worked to help mend what she had wrecked and now he had the audacity to bring her up?

You turned, grabbing your keys and your phone and began walking towards the door. You slipped on your heels, opening the door and leaving Tetsuro standing in the kitchen, absolutely stunned at what he had said. He hadn’t thought about her in so long, why did her memory come flooding back in that moment?

He heard the door close as his breath hitched, realizing you had left. “Fuck- FUCK!” He shouted as he quickly grabbed his keys and ran after you, only to find your car gone. He paced in your parking spot, hand pulling at his hair as the words sank in.

Meanwhile, you drove, mascara running freely down your cheeks as you sobbed and pulled up to an apartment building. Getting out, you walked up the stairs and hit the buzzer.

“Hello?” A voice answered

“K-Kenma, it’s Yn! Can I come up please?!?” You cried as the door buzzed and you ran into the building, Kenma meeting you at his door. You fling yourself into his embrace as he rubbed your back.

“YN are you ok? Is Kuroo ok? What happened?!?” Kenma said, panicked as you pulled away.

“He-he was late coming home and we were suppose to go out for dinner for our anniversary. When he came home, he completely forgot about our plans, saying some bullshit about his boss coming or something,” you blubbered out, “and when I confronted him, he got defensive and then- then he said how Ally would have never bothered him about his work!”

You cried harder as Kenma sighed and hugged you close. Kenma knew all about Ally and how she had broken Kuroo. He knew how much he had loved her and how broken he was when she left. He had spent many late nights up with his friend, talking him down from flying across the world for a girl who didn’t want to be with him or picking his friend up, wasted at the bar and puking because of the pain he felt.

However, all of that changed when Kuroo met you. You made him happy again, you made him smile and laugh more than anyone else ever had. Kenma remembers how the memory of Kuroo’s former love faded, and how it was replaced with the love for you. He knew Kuroo loved you more than life itself, but he couldn’t deny how stupid his friend had been.

“Come on in Yn, let’s talk ok?” Kenma said as you nodded and the door behind you closed.

Kuroo sat in your apartment, eyes red with tears as he cried. How could he do something so awful, say something so unforgivable to you? He thought back to before he met you and how he knew his relationship with Ally was ending. He thought about how she pulled away, saying “I love you” less and less until she finally told him she was leaving and wanted to end the relationship. He was so broken, so pained from the experience of losing his first love.

He drank to numb the pain, sometimes staying late at his office and passing out with a whiskey in his hands. He thought he’d never be able to find someone again. Then, like an Angel, you appeared at his office door. You were so beautiful, so incredibly perfect. It was like God himself had placed you there. You helped him pull himself out from the drinking, from the self-loathing into loving himself again. It was because of you that he had become so successful at work, your support always spurring him on.

He rested his head on his hands, looking at his phone as his background lit up from a notification. The picture was of you two on the night he had confessed his love to you. You were both so happy, your smile filling the screen.

He stood up, grabbing his shoes and slipping them on, his keys and phone going to his pocket. He knew exactly where you went, where you always went, where he would go.

It was late when his car pulled up behind yours, relieved he had been right and that you were safe. He ran up the stairs, ringing the buzzer to his friends apartment.

“Come one come on- hello?!?” He said as the button beeped and he swung the door open. Kenma greeted him in the hallway, standing guard at the door with a scowl on his face.

“You’re an idiot,” he said

“I know-”

“Literally the scum of the earth!” Kenma growled

“I know-”

“I should call Bokuto to come kick your ass!” Kenma whisper shouted

“And I’d deserve it,” Kuroo said as he looked at his friend, “I fucked up- I royally fucked up dude and I hate myself. I hate myself for hurting her and I know I don’t deserve her but she deserves to know how sorry I am.”

“Be quiet when you go inside, she’s sleeping,” Kenma said, moving out of the way as Kuroo walked in. He saw you curled up, asleep on the couch as he quietly approached you. Your face was stained with tears, indicating how badly his words stung. He sat down, next to the couch and watched you as Kenma watched from the corner. He gently grazed you face, moving your hair from it.

“YN, baby,” he said as you gently woke up, your eyes softly meet his teary ones, “baby I fucked to so bad and I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you and I know I don’t deserve you. You’ve made my life worth living and I love you so much. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me and I’ll gladly leave the apartment for a while but please, just know how incredibly sorry I am. I’m not going to make any excuses for what I did or said. I shouldn’t have forgotten about your anniversary and I shouldn’t have said such awful things. I’m a terrible boyfriend and you are so fucking incredible. You’ve supported me in everything and I ruined it all.”

You laid there, your eyes tearing up as you listened to him. As much as his words stung, knowing how awful he felt for saying them and what he had done hurt worse. You sat up, reaching for his cheek as you caressed it.

“Tetsu, I love you more than anything and it really hurt me when you said those things. I really try to let you do your job because I know how important it is but I also miss you. I miss seeing you and spending time with you and I just wanted us to have a nice night,” you said, tears flowing as he looked at you.

“I know baby, and I’m so sorry for everything! I promise, no more working late. If I can’t get it done by 5pm, I’ll leave it for the next day. I want to be there for you YN,” he said as you smiled.

“That’s all I ask Tetsuro.”

Suna

You had known Rintarō a while before you started dating the middle blocker. You had always been attracted to him and when he finally asked you out, you were ecstatic.

Your relationship was good and solid. You had your fair share of ups and downs but what relationship didn’t? You and Rin argued occasionally about minor things, sometimes going to bed angry but then eventually sorting out your issue over the next few days. No fight had ever been serious enough to warrant more than the silent treatment for, at max, a day.

Being the girlfriend of a middle blocker for a professional volleyball team was not only exhausting but also time consuming. You always went to Rin’s games, traveling a few hours if you had to just to show your support and while he never explicitly told you, you knew he appreciated it.

Thankfully, his most recent game was at home against a revival team. Rin did exceptional, per the usual, with EJP beating the opposing team in straight sets. You cheered as the men all lined up to thank their fans, as you quickly hurried to the court.

The usual flood of fan girls overran the team as you tried to make your way to your boyfriend. “Hey YN! Thanks for coming out! Rin’s over there,” Washio, Rin’s fellow middle blocker, said as you hugged him and made your way over to your boyfriend.

You smiled and waved as he nodded at you, the girls surrounding him as he tried his best to calm them. “Ladies please,” he said as you stood back, waiting patiently. He would usually come over to you, giving you a kiss and hugging you in front of everyone. You had never been insecure about your relationship, especially knowing Rin was a superstar because he always made time for you.

However, as he continued to smile and sign autographs, you stood there waiting and waiting and waiting. Soon, twenty minutes had passed and Rin hadn’t come up to even acknowledge your existence. You figured he was just excited, this was a big game after all and he definitely deserved to celebrate but when he headed to the locker room, not even acknowledging your existence, that you deflated.

He had never ignored you for this long or failed to acknowledge your presence. You sighed, waiting for him to emerge from the locker room. When he finally did, you wait again as he talked with Komori, the teams Libero. In fact, it wasn’t until Komori waved at you, that Rin finally seemed to acknowledge you were waiting.

“Oh hey babe, I’ll meet you at home ok? Im going out with the guys for dinner!” He said before waving at you and rushing from the gym. You stood there, hands clasped as you nodded, trying hard not to let your emotions take over. Your turned on your heels, heading to your car and going home to your empty apartment.

When Rin finally came home, it was almost 11pm. You sat up, from on the couch as he entered and removed his shoes. “Man I’m beat! Im going to head to bed babe,” he said, kissing the top of your head as you stared at him. He had barely acknowledged you at all tonight and all you wanted to do was celebrate with him.

Since you and Rin had always had an open relationship, you decided that it was best to express your concerns to him. Maybe he just needed to be reminded that you were there to support him.

“Hey Rin, uhh you didn’t hug me or kiss me tonight after the game,” you said, standing in the doorway of the bedroom as he took his shirt off, throwing it beside the laundry basket.

“Yeah sorry I was busy. It was kind of a big night ya know?” he chuckled as he went to your en suite, grabbing his face wash and continuing about his routine.

“It- it just kind of hurt you know? You always kiss me after a game,” you said, playing with your fingers as you looked into the bathroom mirror. You saw him roll his eyes as he shook his hands, grabbing a towel to dry them.

“Geez Yn it was one time for fucks sakes, please tell me you aren’t going to make a big deal out of this and ruin what WAS a good night?” He said, walking out of the bathroom and past you to the bed.

“Rin, I’m not trying to ruin your night, it’s just that, well I’m feeling a little unappreciated I guess,” You said as he looked at you, confusion growing on his face.

“Seriously Yn? You really want to do this now? Im exhausted and I’m not in the mood,” he began to shout as you whinced, not wanting to start anything but knowing what you had to say was important.

“Rin I-”

“You know, Jenna never acted this way after I won a game. I’d come home and she’d let me be!” He spat as you stood frozen. You couldn’t be he had brought her up, of all the people, why her? You felt your body heat up, your emotions overtaking you as you watched Rin get into bed and turn the light off.

How could he have said that? How could he have possibly brought his past girlfriend up? You knew about Rin and Jenna, how they had mutually broken up a few months before you met him. He didn’t seem to hold any animosity towards her but he never talked much about her and certainly he’d never brought her up during a fight.

Slowly backing out of your shared room, you closed the door as your eyes filled with tears. Not only had he utterly tore you down but he brought up someone from his past, something he knew would hurt you.

You mindlessly walked to the kitchen, grabbing your keys and purse before turning off the lights and silently leaving your apartment. You headed to your car, sitting in the drivers seat as the emotions finally hit. You let it all out, whaling as the tears fell in waves. You couldn’t scream, you couldn’t make any noise, everything was caught in your throat as you tried but failed to let it out. Finally, managing a breath, your body shuttered as you screamed, your head resting on your steering wheel as you continued to cry.

Rin tossed and turned in bed, his body exhausted but he couldn’t sleep. He had instantly regretted what he said about his ex, mentally berating himself for ever saying anything. He thought about what you said, about how you felt. He hadn’t meant to ignore you, he had just gotten caught up in all the excitement of winning. He felt like a complete ass, letting you walk out after he had said such awful things.

He noticed the light in the living room was dim, figuring you had just fallen asleep on the couch. He’ll admit this wasn’t the first time you two had slept apart due to a fight but this time he knew it was all his fault. Truthfully, he hated being without you, he hated sleeping alone. He loved how cuddly and soft you were next to him. He loved the feeling of your body and how your love for him poured into everything you did.

He knew how lucky he was, you came to every game, even to the ones that were several hours away. Hell once your even flown to Europe to see him play in an international match. He knew what true love was and how he had failed to show you that.

Looking at the clock, he saw it was 3:00am. He sat up, throwing the covers off as he stood in just his shorts and walked to the door. His plan was to grab you from the couch, hold you and apologize. He would make it up to you tomorrow, taking you out on a fabulous date to show his appreciation for everything you did for him.

He flipped on the hall light, walking out to the living room. He looked to the couch, noticing it was empty. Confused, he turned and headed to the spare bedroom, knowing fully well you never slept in there because “it was only for guests.”

He threw the light on, his eyes widening when you weren’t in there. “YN!” He shouted as he ran back to your shared bedroom, turning the light on and running to the bathroom. There was no sigh of you as he ran to the living room, turning on every light he could.

His hands went to his hair as he frantically raked through it, worried about where you might be. He ran to the kitchen and the guest bathroom, noting no trace of you.

“YN- shit!” He shouted as he turned, noticing your purse and shoes were gone.

“FUCK!”

He raced back to the bedroom, grabbing his phone before hitting your number, “pick up, come on baby pick up!” He packed back and forth, your phone continuing to ring until it finally hit voicemail.

“Fuck!” he shouted, pulling up the only other person he could think as he sat on the edge of his bed and raked through his hair, his knee bouncing as he waited for an answer.

“Hello?” A groggy voice answered.

“Samu! It’s Rin, have you heard from YN?” He spat out

“What? What fucking time is it?” Osamu said as he groaned, “dude it’s 3am! Why the hell would I have heard from YN? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I fucked up Samu, I fucked so bad man and now she’s fucking gone! She’s never left before man, fuck what do I do?!?” Suna panicked as tears began to fill his eyes. You two had fought before but you had never left, in fact you’d never leave without telling him where you’d go.

“What happened?” Osamu said, sounding more awake than before, his voice carrying as he made his way to the kitchen.

“I- I shit man! She was upset because I didn’t kiss her after the game and when she brought it up to me, I brought up how Jenna would never act that way,” he sighed, his head hanging low at the words resurfacing. He thought of what he said making him sick. He never loved Jenna, in fact, his relationship with her was one of convenience. It wasn’t until he met you that he learned what being in a partnership was really like. How it felt to have someone supporting you and being there when you needed them.

“Damn Rin, what the fuck man? Dude that’s low!” Osamu said as Rin nodded his head

“I know I fucking know! She’s gone dude, and she’s not answering her phone! What if something happened to her? Fuck I’ll never be able to live with myself!” He cried as Osamu sighed.

“Ok listen, I’m sure YN is fine. She’s a smart girl. She’s really upset right now and I don’t blame her. You need to give her some breathing space man,” he said as Rin stood up, pacing once more.

“I can’t- I can’t I have to find her! Fuck man I can’t lose her she’s it for me, she’s the one!” He shouted, tears now overflowing.

“Ok, come over and we can regroup here. I’ll try calling her, maybe she’ll answer for me,” he said as Rin quickly threw on his shoes and grabbed his keys, locking the door before running to the elevator.

“I’ll be there in 5,” he said, hanging up as he raced to his car. In the parking garage he noticed your car was still parked next to his, making his heart drop. His worst fears were coming true. You’d never leave without your car, there was no way!

Approaching the spot, he noticed a figure slumped over the steering wheel. His eyes widened, adrenaline racing as he realized that it was you.

“Fuck FUCK!” He screamed as he ran to your door, throwing it open as you shot up, heart pounding as you met the eyes of your boyfriend.

“Rin what-”

No more words escaped as you were tackled in your seat by your giant boyfriend, his cries penetrating the vehicle as he hugged you tight.

“Fuck baby are you ok?? God I’m so fucking sorry! Im the biggest idiot ever to exist and I should have never said any of those things!” He cried as you embraced him, memories slowly coming back to you.

“Rin, where’s your shirt?” You asked as he looked at you, shaking his head and looking down at his shirtless form.

“I couldn’t sleep. I felt like the biggest ass ever and I went to apologize to you. I couldn’t find you and I panicked. I was so afraid you had left me for good Yn. I know I would have deserved it but I don’t think I’ve been so scared in all my life baby!” He said, pulling you close in the awkward space.

You rubbed his back, feeling bad for causing him so much worry. “I’m sorry for leaving but I had to get out, what you said really hurt me,” you said as he looked in your eyes, his heart crushed that he had caused all of this.

“Baby don’t apologize! This is all my fault! I should have never treated you like that. I love you so much and I took advantage of everything you do. I’m sorry for ever saying those things to you. You are the most important person in my entire life and I love you more than you’ll ever know. I know I don’t show you and I’m going to change that baby, I promise!” He said as you caressed his cheek.

“I forgive you Rin,” you said with a small smile as his lips collided with yours as he pulled you close.

“I love you so fucking much Yn!” He said, putting his forehead to yours.

“I love you too Rintaro.”

[everythingmp3]

in good hands

adult!Van x fem!reader

working at Lottie´s retreat has its regular routine, which suddenly gets disrupted when you cross paths with one of her old friends. lucky for Van, you are in a giving mood and might just know how to help her unwind after a stressful day.

warnings: minors dni. smut, reader "tops" but just lightly

author´s note: hii it´s been a while since I’ve dropped a Van fic but I found this in my drafts and edited it a little bc I thought some of you might enjoy it during our painfully long wait for season 3! so here u go, something lighthearted <3 (this is set during 2x7 when they’re all off doing their little therapies, a brief Lottie appearance at the end)

people might have assumed that the way you found your job at Lottie´s compound was some exciting story, but it really wasn´t; nobody recruited you, there was nothing cult-like about it, you simply needed a temporary job and had found it online.

they were going to pay well, on top of giving you a whole cabin to yourself, so the decision to send off your resume and accept their offer had been a very easy one. the place was serene and refreshing after coming there from your place in the city and your new boss, Lottie or “Charlotte” as everyone called her, seemed sweet in both a maternal and sisterly kind of way way. you could see why everyone was enthusiastic about the community she´d created there, but to you it was just a way to earn money, you didn´t buy into the whole spiritual aspect. still, you were glad to play along for anyone who wanted you to, agreeing with others that your time there was very “transformative” and that you were eager to create a “safe space” for any guests that you worked with.

still, some nights it all got a little boring and lonely, about a month into it, you almost felt like you were living in a monastery: no friends, no internet, no junk food, no way to let loose and it didn´t help that hardly anyone at the camp was on the same wavelength as you. you got along with everyone but nobody stood out to you as someone you´d wanna get close to, have fun with, get in trouble with, so you were left to your own devices; sometimes you stole some liquor from the dining hall and drank that on your own at your secret hiding place that you´d discovered about two weeks into being at the compound. it was a spot in the woods, you had to walk about five minutes to reach it, an old bench close to the lake, nobody ever bothered you there.

one day you were particularly tired and exhausted, people had unloaded a lot of emotional bullshit onto you, so around 7 pm you were ready to escape and to have at least an hour to yourself, just sitting there on that bench listening to the birds and trees, zoning out, trying to let the stress of the day go.

while you were already there, Van was still deciding where to go to be left in peace while drinking what she´d just gotten out of her truck. wherever she looked, she saw people dressed in purple who absolutely would not approve of her plan, so her last resort was going into the woods. she almost laughed to herself about how ironic it was, that the day she reunited with her old friends was also the day she went into the woods for the first time in ages. 

she was hoping to maybe find a large tree stump she could sit on, but a few minutes into walking she saw something she didn´t expect: you, sitting on a bench. at first she thought fuck. that would have been perfect. for a moment she wanted to turn around, but once she saw that you weren´t wearing purple she got curious, it also helped that you looked rather attractive, even from behind, so she decided to stay. Van didn´t want to startle you, so she tried to sound very calm and polite as she approached you tentatively.

“sorry I really don´t mean to bother you-” you turned around, taken off guard, a little annoyed by the fact that someone else had found their way to your spot, but once you saw Van you knew immediately: oh that´s not a guest. you were confused, she could tell, “I´m a friend of Lottie´s, I was just looking for a place to chill for a moment, but I can leave” your gaze fell from her striking face to her hand that was holding a bottle of what looked like tequila, so a smile spread across your face, “oh no, it´s okay! you can sit if you want. if I can get a sip of that..” you said in a mischievous tone. Van nodded, relieved you didn´t mind her presence, she came over and sat down, handing you the bottle, “here you go. so are you..” you realized you hadn´t told her anything yet “oh right, I work here. so.. shhh” you held an index finger to your lips, grinning, before you took a big sip of the liquor, exhaling after “yeah this is good”, she smiled, eyeing you curiously, “so, I take it the job isn´t all that easy huh?”. you shrugged, looking back at her, realizing how hot she was now that she was sitting so close, the faint scars on her face somehow adding to it, “oh it´s fine, really, this beats any of the other jobs I had so I won´t complain to you. but you know... the whole enlightenment and personal growth obsession does get annoying sometimes.” 

she laughed, realizing that you might be the exact person she was looking for, someone who shared her suspicious mindset, “okay I take it you´re not a “believer” then?” you shook your head “nope, absolutely not, I am here to earn money and help people. that´s it, I´m not looking to see the light or whatever the fuck” you took another sip, she let you, more interested in your thoughts than getting fucked up, increasingly glad she had the guts to approach you, “I see. and how do you help? what´s your job title?”, you passed her the bottle as you explained it, “well. I am sort of a physical therapist but the amateur version, nothing super medical, just massages and stuff like that, helping with tension or soreness or just general discomfort.” she didn´t expect that, “really? so you´re good with your hands then?” the moment she said that she realized how shamelessly suggestive it was, but before she could backtrack she saw a flicker of intrigue in your eyes, a pleased smile as you answered, “you could say that, yes”. it dawned on you then that she also found you attractive, and you were starved for genuine excitement, for pleasure, so you challenged her, staring into her eyes, intensely “I mean, I can tell from looking at you that you could also use some help physically” she raised her eyebrows, things were getting interesting“oh really? how so?”.

without warning you reached out to squeeze her shoulder, feeling her wince, “yeah, just as I thought. tense as hell”, an authority to your voice, you saw right through her and she felt her face flush, your grip was harder than she expected, it was turning her on. “well driving for about six hours straight will do that” you were sympathetic then, “oh okay, that´s a lot. I mean, I´m off the clock but I could make an exception if you wanna let me try something” you smiled, kindly, a sweetness to your tone, but not without a certain danger in it, she could tell, and she was getting nervous, but what did she have to lose? so she said “sure. okay..” you nodded, determined, gesturing for her to turn her back to you, “right, please tell me if anything hurts too bad” you instructed, her face burning up by then from the anticipation of your touch.

“you have really nice hair” you said, drawing out the really for emphasis, as you moved it to the front so it wouldn´t be in the way, letting it spill down her chest as you placed your hands on her shoulders, near her neck, slowly pressing your thumbs down through the fabric, “oh thank you” she said, her voice giving away that she was almost a little shy then, it felt exhilarating, to have a hot stranger being that that attentive and charming out of nowhere. the surroundings helped her with relaxing, the sun was setting and the sound of small waves crashing on the shore close to you filled the air. the moment she felt your fingers digging into her flesh her whole body reacted, at first it hurt a little but then she realized you knew exactly what you were doing, there was a distinct skillfulness she could detect, so her muscles relaxed into your palms. 

“good?” you inquired, sort of cocky because you knew it was, her eyes were closed by then, “hm, yeah, feels nice”, her voice was smooth and deep, you almost told her to keep talking so you could hear more but instead you silently, diligently continued your touches, moving towards the space between her shoulder blades, pressing down enough so the circles you were drawing could loosen her up, you wished you could have touched her bare skin, a few noises of discomfort escaped her but you could tell it was the good kind of pain, the kind that signaled to you that her body was reacting well. after a few moments of silence and focused pressing and squeezing on your part, she spoke up again,“the people here are spoiled as hell huh? getting treated like this by a pretty girl” you perked up then, your hand moving up to her neck, your touch lighter, almost sensual, closer to a caress than a massage, she could tell that it wasn´t something you´d do to any guest, “did you just call me pretty?” you said, leaning close to her, your head almost resting on her shoulder then, your voice playful, she still had her back turned to you, Van knew there was no going back from that,“well. you are.” she said, matter of factly.

“wanna say that to my face maybe?” you teased, tapping her to signal that she should turn around, which she did, slightly disappointed that you´d stopped touching her, giving you an intense look, “you´re that starved for compliments huh?” she teased back, tilting her head, “I am starved for a lot of things” you were bold then, her expression shifted, a sudden need came over her as she scanned your face, her gaze involuntarily stopping at your lips, “I can tell”, her voice somehow even deeper than before, sending a shiver down your spine. you did not have any shame left in you by that point, moving closer to her, close enough to feel her breath, pressing yourself against her a little while staring at her, your hand on her thigh, “you know. I can think of something else that might help you relax..” she almost blacked out for a second as you said that, your hand placement killing her, your breath on her neck, she had no idea how you´d figured out that she was into being overpowered by other women, but it felt too good to push back. you were almost purring at her as your hand wandered down to her zipper, undoing it for her, but her own hand moved to your face then, grabbing you rather hard, stopping you, “jesus maybe give me a kiss first” she whispered as she pulled you in and you immediately matched her eagerness, her soft lips a thrilling sensation, both of you clearly worked up by that point, kissing turning into making out within a split second, neither of you holding back with the desperate sounds that left you, for a moment Van had the upper hand, feeling you turn needy from her touch, and since you´d initiated she had no problem taking advantage of the fact that you weren´t wearing a jacket, she reached under your shirt and grabbed your chest firmly enough to leave bruises, forcing a whimper out of you, it had been a while since she´d hooked up with anyone and she groped you in a way that made it very clear, taking what she wanted without much regard, but you liked it, feeling wanted like that. once you pulled away to try and breathe, you resumed what you´d started doing before, making sure she was fine with it, “can I?” you sighed against her cheek, breathing her warm scent in, hearing her take unsteady breaths, she nodded, “hmm” a sound of approval, so you pushed your hand down her undone jeans, slipping your fingers into her underwear, the heat of her skin already delicious before you even went further down.

her hand was gripping your arm with force as you did this, the moment your fingers met the wetness that had collected from her arousal you let out a barely audible “god..”, it was all you wanted in that moment, to feel her growing even wetter, so you slid two of your fingers between her lips, getting them all slick before slowly moving them up and down, really savoring it, hearing her moan a little, followed by a soft “fuck”, her nails digging into your skin by then, you couldn´t keep it that slow so you added some pressure to it, some force, the way you knew it felt best from masturbating that way, paying attention to the rest of her body too, kissing the side of her pale neck, all the way to the middle of her throat, which was easily accessible since her head was tilted back in pleasure. you focused on her clit then as you briefly ran your tongue over her neck, making her whine from the double intensity of your fingers and your mouth, “you´re so fucking hot” you sighed before kissing her again, feeling her struggling to kiss you back, in disbelief over having someone so your type practically melting into your hands.

“fuck don´t stop” she begged, as you found the exact right rhythm, her clit throbbing by that point, “go on, cum for me” you cooed as you felt her losing her composure, her hips moving upward to meet your hand, a desperation to it, so you did your best to really put all your strength into the last few moments of getting her off, her underwear a soaking mess by that point, she bit down on her lower lip as she came, almost drawing blood, your face deliberately near hers to hear the sound of her climax, “that´s it” you praised as you slowed down but still kept touching her, getting your fingers covered in her juices even more, the heat and velvety texture a sensation that almost got you to cum as well then. Van was so dizzy with heat that even those light lingering touches felt heavenly, but finally you let go, trying to regain a sense of where you were and what had just happened, a satisfied grin on your face as you looked at her, her face all flushed, her cheeks glowing red as she zipped up her jeans with unsteady hands, shaking her head as she returned your look.

“I think am starting to like this place..” she uttered in a breathy tone, you smiled, "good, I am doing my job right then”, she nodded, grinning, “yeah, I think you really found your calling” enjoying the attention you were showing her with, the afterglow of the endorphins that had unexpectedly rushed her tired body. “oh fuck I think the others might be looking for me by now” she realized that it had gotten dark, her phone was still confiscated of course, so Van knew they might get worried if she randomly disappeared without a trace.

“right, okay, I should get back too I think” you said, standing up, suppressing a laugh as you saw her struggling to put weight onto her still slightly shaky legs, “oh you´re enjoying this huh?” she said, pushing you forward as she approached you, “if I wasn´t running late I´d get you back right now”, you blushed at the thought, “is that a threat?” you asked as she caught up to you, “maybe” she uttered, adjusting her hair and clothes. “well in that case, if you do end up staying here, my cabin is number 7. if you wanna follow through on that”, she couldn´t believe how bold you were being, but it did thrill her, and after a day like that, driving home at night seemed awful, so she thought why not stay until the morning? your offer made it much easier to abandon her escape plan “sure, I´ll keep that in mind” she said, meeting your eyes one last time before you were on the camp grounds again, walking towards the main area.

"you know I saw you guys earlier. in the parking lot", you confessed, "you did? well, believe it or not that was the first time I have seen most of them in like.. 20 something years", that was not what you had thought, "wait really?", "hmm." , she couldn´t help but take the chance of maybe making you feel a little jealous, "actually one of them is my ex. to make things even more awkward..", you laughed, "damn, you have more going on than me, that´s for sure", she looked back at you then, "really? nothing fun you´ve gotten up to here so far?", you shook your head "couldn´t you tell, with how I ambushed you just now?" she laughed, "right, no, it was kinda obvious."

the moment you approached the road that lead to dining hall, you could both see Lottie making her way in your exact direction and let out a simultaneous, “fuck.” as you saw the tall brunette looking straight at you. Van would have to talk to her but you took the easy way out, whispering a “good luck” to her as you excused yourself, avoiding eye contact with Lottie as you passed her, only a brief wave and barely audible “good night” as she was busy fixing Van with her gaze, the look of someone who was about to start an interrogation, her arms crossed. of course she could tell, that blush on both of your faces, the way Van looked at you as you walked away, it was clear as day what you two had been up to. once Van stood in front of Lottie she decided against an apology or justification and went straight for a joke to try and diffuse the tension.

“I think you should give that girl a raise”, she said, Lottie nodded and raised her voice, “oh I am sure I fucking should after whatever it is that you just made her do”. Van protested, acting offended, “made her do?? I´ll have you know that your worker pursued me, thank you very much”, and Lottie couldn´t help but crack a smile then, shaking her head in disbelief, “you know I expected a lot of things to go down when we all reunited earlier, but this was definitely not on the list”. Van shifted her weight, an almost girlish expression on her face then, “well. I mean if it makes you feel better, coming here definitely did help me relax”, “you know what, if that´s what it took then I´m glad. not that I´d ever pimp my workers out on purpose but hey. what happens happens” Van nodded, “exactly. also, you can´t act like you´re so holy, don’t tell me you’ve never seen a hot girl around here and.. considered things” Van teased, Lottie gave her look that said careful, “believe it or not I don´t have ulterior motives” Van laughed, “sure, you never do.” a familiarity to their exchange that made both of them feel a little nostalgic, in the end Lottie was just glad to see Van smile, after all this time she could tell that life had worn her old friend down, and if having some fun with a pretty girl could get her spirits up, who was she to judge? “okay. ready to go back to the others?”, “no.” Van answered, dryly, Lottie smiled, “me neither” as she linked arms with Van and dragged her off to where the other four were waiting.

as they walked Van tried to keep it in mind, “number 7”, the cabin that she might have to casually walk past later that night. 

[steddieas-shegoes]

wasting company time

for @corrodedcoffinfest warm up round prompt 'get a job'

rated t | 736 words | no cw | tags: they're idiots and i love them, especially gareth, he is my most special boy

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

If Gareth had to help one more person today, he was going to quit his job.

Which he couldn't. He was the only one in the band who currently had an income.

Eddie had been fired for missing too many shifts because of shows, Jeff was too busy with classes to also have a job, and Frankie was waiting for the right thing to come up. Gareth sucked it up and worked nearly full time at the diner.

He couldn't cook for shit so he was a waiter, and being a waiter was not his ideal position. The waitresses he worked with wore short skirts and flirted their way to decent tips. That didn't exactly work for Gareth, who worked the shift when mostly truck drivers came through with exhaustion seeping from their pores and gruff voices barely even placing an order before ignoring him.

The bell rang above the door and Gareth groaned.

"Have a seat anywhere!" He said from behind the counter, taking an extra minute to gather himself before having to help.

"Nah, you're gonna come with us."

Gareth looked up to see Jeff, Eddie, and Frankie standing at the counter, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm clearly working. I don't get off for another hour."

"You don't need to work anymore."

Gareth was not gonna get his hopes up. They may be smiling and encouraging him to leave his job, but they all were irresponsible sometimes, even Jeff.

"Did you all get jobs?"

"We all have a gig. A decent one. One that pays," Frankie leaned against the counter. "One that requires us going on a little tour."

"You're telling me we have nothing for two years and suddenly we have a tour? With who? Where?" Gareth folded his arms across his chest, frowning. They were fucking with him.

"We didn't have nothing for two years, we had shitty gigs. Everyone starts with shitty gigs," Eddie argues. "And one of those shitty gigs had someone who works with a metal band who's going on tour in a month. They opened for Sabbath on their last tour. We're so fucking in, baby."

Gareth still couldn't believe it.

How did they land that? How did anyone see their Hideout show and think 'yeah, those are the guys we need'?

"I don't understand."

"Take off the apron, even though it's doing wonders for your hips," Eddie wiggled his brows playfully. "And come to the trailer. I've got everything there for us to look at with a lawyer."

"A lawyer? We can't afford a lawyer."

"Correct. But Steve said Nancy could take a look at it and make sure the language isn't trying to fuck us over," Eddie poked Gareth's cheek. "Jeff's mom said her brother could look at it, too, but he technically is an insurance lawyer so it may go over his head."

"Nancy Wheeler is gonna read a contract to make sure we don't sign our lives away?"

"Precisely," Frankie nodded.

"Anyone better for the job?" Jeff asked.

He had a ridiculous crush on Nancy, so of course he would think she could do it easily.

"A real lawyer maybe? Someone who is used to reading contracts?" Gareth was not quitting his job for this.

"Okay, well, do you have real lawyer money hiding somewhere in that apron?" Eddie threw his hands up.

"What's your obsession with this apron?" Gareth teased. "I just don't wanna end up jobless and then not even have this gig to fall back on."

"It's your damn hips! I said!" Eddie rolled his eyes. "If I promise to find a lawyer, will you please quit this stupid job?"

"If you can find a lawyer willing to work for free to look at that contract, I will quit this job and give you my last paycheck."

"Deal!" Eddie ran from the diner immediately, leaving Jeff and Frankie shaking their heads.

"He's never gonna find one," Jeff said.

"I know. I'll see you guys in the morning for practice."

Frankie waved and walked back out the door, but Jeff stayed for a moment.

"Hey, I know you're being cautious. But also, I think this would be good for us. We should probably give it a go."

Gareth looked behind him at the line cook shoving a french fry into his mouth, then at the one guy asleep at a table in the corner.

"Yeah, alright. Let's give it a try."

[vulpixisananimal]

"So. . ."

(You were lying down on a couch. You were doing woodcarving; it was theraputic. Mirabelle had just come over from cleaning up and sat at the other end of the couch.)

"Hello Mirabelle, got any questions for your friendly star~"

(She tittered at that.) "Hehe, maybe a few. Even if it, might not matter much."

"Talking is still nice, ask away."

"Well. . ." (She thought for a second.) "Well are you, doing ok?"

"???" (That took you by surprise. You were expecting something about how the loops worked, or where they came from.) ". . . I'm, well I'm doing great! We've only been doing this for a few loops and that's practicaly No time at all~"

"W-well, I suppose, but I meant more in general."

(You paused carving.) "Hmm?"

"Well, Siffrin said you showed up soon after we beat the King. And, well, I was wondering, has it been alright? I-I mean, sharing a body with Sif and all. A-and like, since we didn't know you were around did we do something that made you-"

"Oh hush Mirabelle." (You twirl your dagger casually.) "It was a lovely time in Bambouche, really! The beach was just so nice, it was a good way to meet Nille too! No need to explain the whole being a star thing~"

"I guess so. . ."

"I will say, as much as I like Stardust," (You lower your tone to a dramatic one.) "Sharing a head with them is agony sometimes."

(She giggles again.) "Is it really that hard? Or. ."

"It's complicated. So, so complicated." (You thougt for a moment.) "Talking to eachother is like. . . Almost like someone else is having thoughts in your own head. And you have thoughts back. It can be hard to tell whos thoughts are whos, but you can 'talk' very fast."

"Because you're just thinking to eachother?"

"In a way~" (You tap your chin with your knife.) "It's hard to explain, but I might to better a better job next time, tee hee~"

(Another giggle.) "It makes some sense, I think."

"From what I've read it's a very complex disorder." (Odiles voice. You turn, she was finding a place to sit down.) "Each person experiences it differently too."

"Complex doesn't even start to describe it. . ." (You decide to just put away your carving.) "Headaches are almost constant."

"With how Siffrin thinks? Well I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Oh the burdens we must bare."

"What burdens are we bareing today?" (It was Isabeau walking in now.)

"The big furry types of course~"

"Ha! Haha!"

"Well you two have something in common."

"Tee hee~"

(You sat up and made room or Isabeau on the couch. He sat down and talked.) "Bonnie and Nille are just putting some leftovers away." (He looked over at Mirabelle.) "You're sure there's no bruising? Bonnie still has a headache."

(. . .)

"I'm positive, I double and tripple checked."

(For the love of Stars will you just tell me what I missed already?!? CLEARLY something happened you're not telling me.)

(I will not tell you.)

(You are infuriating.)

"Kid probably just needs a lie down." (Isa comments.)

"Once this is over we all do." (You say, you still felt exhausted from all this time craft. Will you at least tell me when we're out of this blinding loop?)

(I can agree to that.)

"Speaking of such. Would you mind if we try talking to Stardust now?" (Odile asked.)

(You nod.) "If ever there was a time for it~"

". . . So how do we do this?" (Asked Mirabelle.)

"Well, first I'll get Siffrin back here. It might get a bit confusing for us but don't worry about that~" (You thought for a moment.) "Although, Isabeau, if that mind craft is still afflicting Siffrin, could you try making sure he doesn't do anything stupid?"

"Uh, alright! I think I can do that."

"I'd like to ask Siffrin the questions if that's alright." (Odile had gotten up from her seat and walked over.)

"Of course, and Mirabelle if you could. . ."

"Morale support?" (She suggested.)

"Morale support!"

"Perfect, moral support it is."

(Alright. . . Siffrin. . .)

(You breath in, and out. Stardust, where just where are you Stardust. You were forced out quite abruptly, but you could come back with. . . The thoughts of Isabeau? No no, something bad maybe? Probaly not. What about his favorite foods? Oh well they did love that Pan Au Chocolate-)

(Huh?)

(You feel a bit dizzy. There you are Stardust~)

(Loop? What happened. I was forced out of front by Mal du Pays, I didn't remember much afterwards. You're here because they want to ask you a few questions. Yes? Why though?)

(They're worried about you. Something happened. So if you don't mind. . .)

(You blink a few times, you had a mild headache but it cleared fast.) "Uh. . ."

"Siffrin?" (Huh? Or Mirabelle was at your side. Isabeau and Odile too.)

(You rub your head.) "Hi uh. . . What happened?"

(Mirabelle glanced over to Odile, who started talking.) "Are you feeling alright, Siffrin?"

"Dazed, headache, confused. Did something happen??"

"I'm getting to that." (Odile continued.) "Do you remember what happened?"

"Uhm. . . I was talking to Ramos? Yeah, yeah Ramos came over to see Isabeau."

(You glance between the three of them. Loop what's going on?)

(Mental check in, Stardust.)

"And what did you talk about."

"It was. . . Right! We were chatting about our adventures, how we met Isabeau, and uh. . ."

(You glance at Isa as Odile continues.) "What else?"

"Well, well, they were curious if Isabeau mentioned them at all." (Why was it so hard to remember?)

"And you said. . ."

(You smiled.) "I said 'of course he did!'"

(. . .Stars.)

(Huh? Did you say something wrong? They all looked worried. Isabeau spoke up.) "Are. . . Are you sure Sif?"

"Positive, right?" (You think hard.) "Because. . . Because you talked about them helping you for the Defenders exams?"

(Isabeau looked. . . Sad? What was going on?!?)

"That, didn't happen, Siffrin." (Odile said.) "I'm, sorry but that's not true."

"Huh?!?"

(You could feel your breathing quicken. What do they mean??? Ramos was, was Isabeaus best friend, right? Hadn't you been excited to see them?!? That's why you came here in the first place right???)

(You have a headache. What was going on?!? No, no Ramos was your friend right?)

"Siffrin?" (You turn to Isabeau, he was holding out a hand. You grab it and squeeze. He doesn't even flinch.) "It's. . . Well, just take a breath first, ok? With me? Just like you showed us, right?"

(Right, right, just breathe. In. . . . and Out. . .)

(Feeling better, Stardust?)

(No, yes, maybe. Just. I'm just confused.) "Alright, alright, please tell me what happened, please."

"Siffrin, well, Ramos isn't really, a good person right now, I think." (You turn to Mirabelle as she continues.) "They, well, Loop told us that they've been effecting people with Mind Craft. You included."

(??????????)

(It's a craft type that effects ones memories, ones mind. Your perception of Ramos has been altered, Stardust.)

(Odile talking now.) "It should be reversable, but from what I know it might be more difficult as it may be powered by a wish. If that's the case it could. . ."

"It would just take a while!" (Mira jumps in.) "But! The good news is Loop isn't effected?"

(Your breathing is getting heavy again. What? But, Ramos was a big figure in Isabeaus life, right? There where all those stories! Like, like.)

(You cannot remember.)

(It's a trick, Stardust~ A nasty one at that.)

(You lean into Isabeau, you feel lightheaded.) "A-are you sure? I, I mean. . ." (It. . . It was really hard to believe. You had this feeling, this instinct, that Ramos was a friend, the best, the. . .)

"Sorry Sif." (Isa gently put a hand on your head. You didnt flinch.) "We'll get this figured out, ok?"

". . . Promise?"

"I promise!"

"Of course I promise!" (Mirabelle chimed in.)

"I don't want to see what happens when your memory gets worse. I promise we'll figure it out." (Odile adds.)

(You nod. And sigh.) ". . . Thank you."

(Your head hurts. Loop, can you, can you please just deal with this?)

(Of course Stardust~ It might be better since-)

(Because Ramos might still be able to effect me. Yeah. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone.)

(You breathe in, and out. And in the future, you can take over in a pinch if needed, ok?)

(Same back to you. stars, even for Mal too. Just in case.)

(Thank you.)

(. . . . .)

[You got the Memory of Switching! When equipped, this will make it easier for you to switch out with your headmates, even durring battle!]

(You pause a second before moving. Isabeau is comfortable, he's got a hand on your head. No need to pull away immediatly.)

(Is now really the time?)

(Hush you. Stardust's gone now, let me have this.)

(You took one more second before getting up and stretching.) "Well! That was quite enlightening~"

"Loop?"

"Yes yes, Stardust decided to go for now, didn't trust themself to act rational."

"Aww. . ." (Isabeau awkwardly rubbed his side.) "I can't imagine how he must be feeling."

"Now where have I heared that before." (Odile adds, going back to her own seat.)

"We miss anything?" (It was Nille, she and Bonnie where walking in.)

"Just checked in on Siffrin." (Odile sighs.) "Unfortunatly, the mind craft stuck."

"Crab" (Nille sat down on the ground.)

"Stupid Crabbing mind crab" (Bonnie stormed over to a chair and sat down.)

"Language."

(You laugh.) "You'll never get Bonbon to stop swearing at this rate."

"Oh I will!" (She replied, rolling her eyes.)

"Nuh uh!" (Bonnie stuck out their tongue.)

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!!!"

"Yuh huh or you a stupid face."

"YOU'RE a stupid face!"

"Gasp!! Bonnie! How could you! Your own Sister!"

(You fail to hold in your laughter.)

(Why couldn't ever day be this simple.)

[transmascissues]

i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!